#so when i looked down at my phone again

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

context? what can i say- i hardly know her! but you don't need context to have a good time, right?

...right?

#i'm worried it's not noticable enough 💀 #mp100 reigen arataka #reigen arataka #mp100 serizawa #serirei #serizawa katsuya #cole's art #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #....this looked better when my phone was dying #mildly nsfw? #once again- ignore the background- i just slapped something down so they weren't standing in a void

[trans-axolotl]

have not left bed today + found out another friend got locked up + want to beat up every single adult that saw what was happening to me and looked away or actively made it worse

#personal #vent #suicide mention tw #i need to call her. last time we talked she said she was going to kill herself if she got incarcerated again #i love her. nothing makes me more angry at so many systems than trying to do suicide support with my friends who are locked up #trying to do this shit over the phone with people listening in. trying to figure out what meaningful support we can even give #because when she says that death is better than months of solitary i know exactly how she feels and what she means and i cannot fucking #most of the skills mainstream peer support has ever taught me are useless in that situation and my best is not enough #there are so many places that need to be burnt down. #there are so many people i love who are not out and it starts to kill me a little bit #and cops are starting to fuck with us here more. i've gotten bruised up a couple times from being shoved around #nothing too bad yet but just #jesus christ #sorry for coming on here to vent all the time but my offline life is a little crazy at the moment and half this shit i can't talk about irl #i honestly think i need to like. start learning how to fight properly again. bc i have so much anger right now #and learning how to actually fight sounds like a better idea then fucking off and getting into random fights like i used to #idk. will look into it

[catboyolli]

now I can see the whales

looming out of the dark

like arrows in the sky

I can't believe my eyes

but it's true

#ongoing gag where the crowd brings an inflatable dolphin and throws it back and forth during 'flying whales' #the quality is shit because 1. my phone is old 2. i bought the tickets like 2 days before the show because i didn't know if i could attend #and almost everything was already sold out. man i should've been down there getting beaten left and right by sweaty metalheads 😭 #anyway. mario plays the drums like a machine and was shirtless the entire night and when the camera was on him and we saw him through #the big screens let me tell you i was Looking Respectfully at the tiddies 💖 he put on our NT football shirt for his boat crowdsurfing bit #next tour I'm not gonna be studying so I will 100% take a vacation day and aim for barricade because I'm never getting assigned seats again #sorry but this is my Band of the Year in my heart even if wrapped says otherwise

[kyuala]

hmm

#having Thoughts that maybe i shouldnt be having #so i have a friend who's handsome hot nice kind sweet funny etc he's like the whole package #yesterday one of our friends told him i didnt have his contact saved on my phone and we (jokingly) made a whole thing out of it #so he took the convo from our gc to our private messages to let me know he had mine saved WITH A SUNFLOWER EMOJI NEXT TO MY NAME #bc ATTENTION according to him i am little flower and im radiant like the sun so = sunflower #like 🥹🥹🥹🥹❓❓❓❓ #n then he told me i didnt have to change my pfp bc i alr looked pretty in it then he called me his love and today #we're all going to a party our friends' cheerleading squad is hosting right and he won't go bc he'll be busy that day #i was moping in the gc bc i wanted the promotional prices (im the only one who doesnt go to their uni n non student prices r higher) and #they weren't available anymore so he messaged me to tell me he'd help me go?? i said how he said he'd pay me the difference i was like 💀 #so i said okay it's only like 10 bucks and he sent me 20 like hello? i know this doesnt sound like much but we're all broke college students #so like? why did he do it #he said if he wasn't able to go he'd like to at least help me go then sent me extra w a cute little message telling me to enjoy the party #and have fun and calling me a sweet pet name now im like . Confused #bottom line is idk if he's flirting and i probably won't bc a) he's already said he doesnt know to make a move on pretty girls and b) here's #the catch: we have a mutual friend who confessed to me like 3? months ago. i turned her down for a number of reasons n i also knew they had #hooked up before so when i said no ig they started hooking up/going out again? and i wasnt fully aware of that until like. last month #and prior to that i hit on him at a party at our friend's house and all he did was stand there kinda speechless 💀 #so i took it as a no n moved on but now idk if its bc like. he was alr w her or he just got shy or if he actually just didnt want it at all #and im just imagining things. and circling back to it: i guess i wont find out bc 1) he won't do anything 2) idk whats the current status of #their relationship (ig over bc they weren't all over e/o at our last function) and 3) even if theyre not together anymore i absolutely would #not try anything behind our friend's back or w/o her knowledge or consent bc they did have something doesnt rly matter what it was and #shes still my friend above all so i gotta be mindful of her feelings for me AND for him and abt us or whatever #so yea thats something thats been on my mind since yesterday #im not like. suffering over it btw its just something on my mind that i wanted to share #i probably wont even do anything about it and then forget abt it next week lol #mari.txt #but also feel free to like comment on this or something i love it when yall r nosey lmfao

[girlwithfish]

if i dont look cute tomorrow i will kill myself

#just not been a fan of my face i look tired and unwell #being under 90lb cuz my relationship had my constantly stressed all year slay #i have literally no energy #ok im not sad anymore cuz at least i dont got a stupid mf in my ear telling me the meannest shit everr #always telling me im embarrassing whenever id be having a bpd episode or when i went outside to call my therapist #when he didnt let me leave for therapy and i didnt feel safe inside w him and i called my therapist sobbing and having a panic attack #u woukd think ur man would care abt his partner having a panic attack clearly in distress trying to talk to her therapist #but he was so pissed i was calling her ig? every time i was tryig to talk to her during that #hed interrupt me just talking in my ear bc i was walking around outside my apt and he was just following me putting me down #saying im lying or some shit and putting me down even tho i was literally having a panic attack nd super upset and not ok idk #like if he had any care for me he wld have stopped no matter what we were arguing abt and wanted to help me or at least disengage if all he #can be is a dick and horrible to m #me #litrally following me around just spewing hate at me and preventing me from talking to my therapist cuz i couldnt hear her bc iwas crying #and outside and the phone qual was bad and he was yelling at me LOL #and telling me how embarrassing i am and im a liar etc #lol #ok nvm i hate him again

[magentagalaxies]

on the note of kith season 6 (didn't want to derail the other post but have been thinking about this lately): one of the only things i disliked - or, rather, that felt off about the revival - was how crisp everything felt in terms of the aesthetic. like ik filmmaking technology has evolved since 1994 and they couldn't do the live studio audience even tho they wanted to bc of covid, but idk the original series despite clearly working with cbc and hbo always had this diy energy, vs the new season just very much felt like oh this is a corporate thing that was location scouted and filmed on a lot

but what's interesting about this fault is that you look into anything else the kids in the hall have made themselves in the past decades and it still has that exact diy aesthetic, sometimes unintentionally but that's the best part. like, i'm the most familiar with scott's works for obvious reasons, but you look at something like contemporary mouth congress music videos or any other video project scott's made just bc he wanted to make it and you can see obvious green screens, the fact that it was clearly filmed on an iPhone, using stuff around the house as props, etc. and if you look at bruce's youtube channel you get that sense as well, and it's so delightful to see bc yeah this comedy isn't a corporate entity, it's just something these guys have to make bc they are passionate about it

anyway i guess what i'm saying is if they ever decide to do another kith revival season they should have paul bellini direct it on his iphone 5 and film 99% of it at the toronto library's green screen room

idk maybe this post is too niche bc a lot of the stuff i'm citing (i.e. mouth congress music videos) hasn't actually been released yet and also i have literally been on these diy sets in the past year where someone just set up a pop-up greenscreen in their living room and my "job" is to make sure the pets don't wander into frame. but yeah idk i find it very funny that watching the revival my only complaint was the lack of that genuine diy spirit and then one year later i'm part of that type of production

#no idea if this is relatable i just had thoughts lmao #this is also inspired by the obvious greenscreen and using-his-real-cast-as-a-prop in scott's promotional video #like again it's probably bc i've been there when scott and paul are just casually filming something at paul's apartment #but i look at something like that and i can just feel all the conversations that went into putting it together #and it's funny bc i get that sense watching the original kith tv show but not as much the amazon show #(which is wild bc i have heard behind the scenes stories from the amazon show too??? spoiler alert people were very stressed) #and i also think the diy tendencies are why i even had a chance to connect with the kids in the hall #bc so many comedians just get accustomed to working exclusively on projects that a studio has set out for them #but the kids in the hall and ESPECIALLY paul bellini love smaller projects where they get to build something from the ground up #paul has made 5 different feature films that he wrote and directed and filmed entirely on an iphone 5 #(not sure if they were all specifically that model of phone he may have upgraded at some point lmao) #(also he's planning to release them onto youtube soon!!) #but yeah the goal with these iphone films was never to win every award and make a bunch of money. it's the passion for making movies #and i think since i'm a very diy-oriented person who's like ''idc if someone gives me permission i'm gonna make a multimedia musical'' #that's what made paul see potential in me which is why i even got the chance to do any of this stuff #anyway i guess what i'm saying is my advice for everyone is: just make the thing! even if you have no budget and no backing #bc even a scaled-down version of the thing is still impressive bc you made it!! #if scott thompson can film a ''crowd scene'' in scottland by drawing faces on a bunch of fingers and just filming people's hands #you can make your project something iconic

[charlataninred]

GODS i just had the most stressful dream

#so for reference I have something on today that I’m v excited for #anyway jt started w me waking up very early and deciding to laze around for a bit #but by the time I checked the time again hours had passed and I was already late #and when I tried to get ready everything was in the wrong place and I couldn’t hold it all #when I FINALLY got in my car and onto the road I got to this turn #where one way was empty but the other was backed up as far as I could see #at first I thought I was going the empty route but when I checked the directions I was actually going the busy route #so I tried to message someone saying I’d be running late #but the voice to text wasn’t working and would not let me change the message #PLUS when I looked down at my phone I saw that another 2 hours had passed since I got in the car #just. ough #aegis talks to the void

[celestial-sapphicss]

.

#body dysmorphia is literally the worst thing ever omg #all my life i have been waiting to look like a certain beauty standard before i can start the 'rest of my life' whatever that means #EVEN THE SIMPLEST THINGS #like i want to buy a phone but it's expensive so im bargaining with myself that if i work towards looking a certain way then it's justified #and it is so fucking annoying god whenever i look back at my pictures im always like 'i wish i could look like that again' #BUT THEN ive never felt good about the way i looked maybe except that one year when i wasn't completely depressed ?????? #and i want to start to exercise because i know it helps me calm the fuck down sometimes #but there's always this thought in the back of my mind that yeah maybe if i exercise it will also help me in looking a certain way #and then i feel so fucking ashamed of feeling that way so i never start????? #but i thought the ONE thing that i could start now without having to wait to start the 'rest of my life' is therapy #but it just ended with a subtle body shaming and i didn't think much of it but boy am i in a spiral now #and i hate it absolutely hate it this week has been so fucking awful i cant #anyways that's why ive been mia with my first world problems so i'll respond when i get back i guess #vi.txt

[fleshdyke]

☹️

#not a great first day. augh. #as we are all aware a bunch of my closest friends stopped talking to me and wouldnt tell me why. so seeing them again and especially seeing #them all talk to each other and have fun stung a bit. and then my phone died and i couldnt remember what room my math class was in so i got #there late. and when i walked in when i tell you that everyone started laughing im so fucking serious. #and i just grabbed a random seat and the girls who were sitting there were i shit you not the most stereotypical high school mean girls you #have ever fucking met. like they were laughing at me when i sat down and kept looking at their friends and were texting each other and #laughing in that way you can Tell theyre bullying you. like when you’ve been bullied your entire life you can tell. but its not like i have #any proof of them doing this so i cant really do anything. and this group of boys were just openly making fun of me like 🧍‍♂️ #and whenever i ticced which was a lot bc this was fucking stressful these girls i was sitting with would stare at me and then giggle to each #other like STOP. i quite literally didnt do anything but sit there and they were bullying me for fucking existing #and then the entirety of my old friend group was in my art class and its so nerve wracking being around them bc i still dont know what i did #like i want to kind of spite them by being happy without them but i also kinda wish i could just drop dead so they could know how much #that effected me. idk man. it sucks #and then theres the whole thing with getting on the wrong bus and walking home and im in so much pain rn. just. not a great start. #rambles #vent

[quickhacked]

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren't studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail's place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other's arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other- no matter what would happen- they would never leave each other's side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

#cp2077 #art:mikhail #art:vitali #nuclearocs #nuclearart #the answer is simple tho: vitali lost his phone and mikhail's phone number with it :| dumbass #anyway i'm losing my mind bc of them again aha xoxo #young mikhail supporting vito after he comes out as trans and helping him with stuff makes me wanna eat bricks i'm not kidding #and vitali always looking after mikhail and standing up for him when he's getting bullied and getting into fights for him. insanity #i need to write their entire story down somewhere LMAO my brain is. all over the place <33 #anyway! young mikhail and vitali live rent free in my head <3 #vitali's hair makes me wanna commit crimes it's so good

[s-lay-ing]

#cry me a river hehe #rambless #just when i was falling in love again with svt i remembered carats are repellent as hell #no but people writing down their itinerary being like 'i work twelve hours a day but on my commute i blast svt on sptfy' #or 'i leave my phone playing while I'm working' #and so goes on #like dude???? look at svt's success??? #they've always sucked ass charting BUT LOOK AT THEIR SUCCESS???? #make it make sense????

[sucktacular]

friendly reminder that if you wanna draw you should draw because I wanna see it and reblog it and eat it so it'll be with me forever

you MADE something!!! that straight up DIDNT exist before??? that's so incredibly metal and amazing and sick as fuck im so proud of you

#i dont care you 'skill level' or whatever nonsense #YOU DID THAT!!! #and my god you should be so proud because I am #i should get magnets to print out ppls art and put on my mini mini fridge that only holds like 4 cans of soda #but like esp if youre in you're 20s??? LATE 20'S???? PAST YOUR 20s???? HOLY SHIT IM SOO SO PROUD OF YOU #cuz its so so hard to get yourself to make and create after youre a kid or a teen #esp if you never really fostered that creativity as a young person #like you DID that you mADE that youre so so amazing #this also applies to writing and crafts and anything where you made something #like ive struggled for a long long time to like my art let alone want to make art but listen listen listen #everytime you make something it gets easier to make it again #you dont have to compare yourself you dont have to strive to draw like whoever #the secret is everyone wants their arts to look better or be better or easier even the really really talented professionals #we are learning creatures no one is perfect and its so so beautiful that that is a thing cuz like #i dont want to see beautiful rendered sistene chapel paintings everyday!!! #like theyre great and im in awe but i could be in awe and enjoying art jim bob down the street doodled on a bench #i see my partner doodle in my notebooks when they make phone calls and are on hold and i think its so beautiful #its just shapes but like they were there and they did that and I didnt? its beautiful and fun and reminds me they were there #you are here and im so glad you are because we get to enjoy things and create and love and just exist #life is hard and we created a society that can be so cynical and were so busy all the time #but i love us i love people i want so badly to love us all because we are different and dont always agree but we create and we exist #and i think thats enough at the end of the day. to just exist. #so you made a lil doodle? i want to see it because ive never seen it before and i think its so awesome genuinely that you did that #sucktacular sucks

[thedogeveryonehates]

_

#i was talking to this guy on scruff and he seemed so great #we were talking for an hour and half non stop #just talking about whatever #flirting a bit from time to time #he said he was a teacher and he told me about how much he loves teaching #then we agreed to meet later #and suddenly out of nowhere in the middle of the conversation #he blocks me #im usually dont care that much when that happens but it really sucks #i thought we really had a connection #im holding on to the chance it was just a mistake that he blocked me #but im starting to doubt it due to the scruff user interface #i actually feel heartbroken here #idk i just feel like shit now #i dont have any leads to look for him either #im just gonna lie down and check my phone to see if he messages me again #GOD THIS SUCKS

[crj-200]

nightmare low blood sugar situation neutralized

#woke up shaky and low but i didn't have any snacks in the room #so i had to get dressed to go to the lobby to buy some snacks #and i realized i haven't worn a medical alert thing in months because my ex's info was on it #so i grabbed my emergency meds and carried them in my hand while i went downstairs #and as i'm walking down stairs my phone also fucking dies so im like. if i go down rn all that emergency contact info is unavailable #so i'm starting to get more nervous and also. low bg makes you irrational #when i got to the counter they were busy checking a flt crew in #so i was like 'ok they'll come over to me next there's two people working rn right' and. nah #both of them chatted with the pilots for a bit and then while the one went to check the next person in the other went to get something #so i'm standing there for like 5 mins feeling like im gonna pass out but i don't say anything (or just grab a soda and pay after) #because i was like 'oh they don't know i'm having a medical problem rn... i don't wanna be rude' #eventually one of them finished up and checked me out #and THEN a guy at the bar started asking me about my pump and again. didn't want to be rude #so i stood there and answered his questions about how type 1 works for a bit #and when i was explaining i need to take insulin for carbs unless im low he looks at my candy and he's like #'ooh are you having a low rn?' YES #and then the counter lady was like 'youre all checked out... you can go...?' #because i was standing there too long. #im in my room now and slammed most of a coke and a cookie lmao #it's so funny (😐) to me that i have a condition that requires me to make trips to the snack bar sometimes or i might just fucking die?? #there was no punchline to this story it was just agonizingly long and annoying. #anyways. #nessie posting #diabetes tag

[the-catbeast-lawfirm]

Mmmmm. Mm m. Mm. M

#ok so my cat was doing who knows what under my bed #i bent down to check on her #i had laid a little on my phone when I did that so when I looked at my phone again it had this #this whole post (pic and all) was made by stomach #shitpost #but specifically from my #tummy #autism

[devilofthepit]

i am so much more mentally ill than i was last year but also in different ways. the problems i had a year ago have not gone away but i care significantly less now #growth unfortunately my current problems are now worse.

#i dont havé the mental fortitude to look at the long ass new years resolution list i made in my notes app when my phone was dying on the bu #s back from school #but i saw someone posting abt their resolutions and i remembered tjem and man everything i cared about was so stupid likr none of it mattere #d all my problems were so small #i mean i remember the state i was in around this time last year and thays not entirely true i was dealing witj scjool and a job etc but most #of my resolutions were just to stop caring so much abt things that #i never should have cared about in the first place #not that my problems are that bad now. many of them would be solved by not having a fever and not pmsing #some of them tho. are representative of larger issues. but i handle them #i just want to mot have to handle them for once i think having a fever is my body’s way of telling me to slow down and relax and not try to #have everything together but ive been sick for so many days that its getting old and i want to be done and there are legit things to do like #fucking finals #but i will survive life goes on etc #im not usually a new years resolution person but i think it might help to be more thoughtful and introspective instead of repressing #everything so perhaps i shall try again this year