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geocookie21 · 3 years

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A Punny Death

This is my first fic! Please be kind! It’s not going to be long at all.

Warning: 2 very bad puns. And I ask for your forgiveness.

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The Doctor, Agent O, Graham, Ryan, Yaz and Y/N had all managed to get into Barton’s plane relatively safely. And by safely I mean running directly behind the plane and then preceding to jump onto it! Because that is something you clearly should do, according to the Doctor.

“Thanks for helping me up back there” O said as he turned to Y/N

“No problem! Im surprised I got on, I’m used to the running now but jumping into planes?” You giggled as you shared a look with O and he couldn’t help but return the action with a laugh.

“I’ve never been good at sprinting” O said continuing your conversation, despite the lack of oxygen in your lungs, he was faking it, but still.

“Forget sprinting, I don’t think I’m quite used to running at all yet”

O, yet to be revealed as the Master, had gotten quite close to Y/N in the short time of your acquaintance. While Graham may have been keeping a running commentary, Y/N was making jokes. Bad jokes. The worst jokes imaginable. A few puns that flew right over O’s head, he caught on that it was, in fact, a joke of sort when Graham groaned.

One that didn’t fly over his head, and he was ashamed that he didn’t pick up on it before he replied, was the classic

“Hey O! Wanna know how NASA plans their parties?”

“How?”

“They plan-et” you said with a grin practically splitting your face. An expression he connoted with you making a joke that you knew was awful. So he groaned.

Apparently this was the correct response as you started laughing harder than you already were. O merely rolled his eyes, trying to stay in character, yet laughed a little by instinct. They were not bad jokes, in fact he found them rather amusing, despite the awful quality.

The godawful jokes continued to be heard at random throughout their little adventure. O nearly lost it when you said “Where’s the platypus when you need him” as you were sneaking around Barton’s jet hanger.

Having gotten a little bored during his time in MI6 and having already took a liking to TV as one of his previous regenerations he decided to look into more modern day tv shows, finding Phineas and Ferb.

He was about to burst out in laughter when Graham scolded you. You pouted completely unaware of the entire groups shoulders shaking in an obvious attempt to hold in laughter, including Grahams.

Currently, having just jumped onto a plane, the jokes have stopped, for a few minutes at least.

“What are we actually going to do?” Yaz huffed out. Seriously, ran after a plane and jumped onto it. Can you blame her for being out of breath?

“Sit tight and see where he’s going” the Doctor replied, out of breath but clearly not suffering as much as the humans were cause she’s lucky causes she’s a time lord and has done more ridiculous stuff than this.

“Amen” You exclaimed as you sat down in one of the rows of chairs...cause you know, running after a plane AND JUMPING ON IT

“What were you doing in the kitchen Y/N? The party was outside” Ryan asked you.

“Officially? Looking for anything not obvious” you replied holding your lungs

“And unofficially?” Graham asked, already dreading the answer. Everyone looked at you, waiting for, what was going to be, a horrible joke.

“Trying to steal his cutlery” you replied knowing the next line, the groans incoming.

“Y/N! Why would you do that?! What if you were caught?!” There it was, the approaching line. You knew Yaz would go all police woman on you, thus providing you the perfect opportunity...

“It was a whisk I was willing to take” you deadpanned. Slowing turning into the famous grin.

The groans from all present were worth it. You laughed for a good 5 minutes despite the pain in your lungs.

Everyone including O just smiled at you. Each thinking you were cute. Then the Doctor remembered something that O said a few minutes before...

“Never been good at sprinting?” She asked O, confused.

“I was the last one in every race at school”

“No no no, I read your file. Your a champion sprinter” She huffed out, unaware that she broke his disguise.

The air in the room (plane?) shifted. You could feel something was wrong even from where you were sitting.

You couldn’t see it but O’s innocent (attractive) face dropped. He knew his facade was no longer going to work he stood thinking for a second or two until..

“Got me” whispered words, yet louder than echos.

“Well done”

The words scaring you into sitting upright, despite the pain in your lungs. This wasn’t the O you had come to know.

“What’s going on,Doc?” Graham’s voice was barely heard as you kept you senses focused on ‘O’. More confused than afraid, afraid all the same, you started to stand when he suddenly whirled around and out his hand out towards you. His hand raised to nearly eye hight and palm facing you, as if he were a magician.

“Sit down, Love.” The spoken command sounded soft to your ears and mirrored his smile. O’s smile.

You did as you were told so he turned back to the Doctor. A small laugh, as if he’d done nothing more than a harmless prank, to her as he turned his head over his shoulders to address the others.

“Well you’d best take a look out the window”

The fam did exactly that, except for you. As you stood to look a firm hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you towards a tall warm body. Looking up towards their face and seeing the O that you had known, not the one nearly laughing maniacally a second ago, confused you. This person isn’t O. Whether there had ever been a real O, or whether you had met the real one was yet to be determined. But you felt that this man was the one you had gotten close too. But who was he?

“How is your house out there?” Graham’s voice broke your thoughts. Only to start about her round.

“What?!” You got as close to the window as you could, with ‘O’ still holding onto you. And Graham was right, his house was out there.

He let you go so you could look.

“A little bit wicked witch of the west” you almost laughed. You really did. Then you remembered the situation. Though O did see you smile unknowingly, he knew you were amused and if this was a different situation you would have laughed. He frowned for a second wishing that you had laughed, but he knew you were confused. Remembering that the Doctor would be equally as confused was what got him smiling again.

“But you get the gist! Maybe, maybe not”

He tuned around leaning lazily against the wall. (Hand on hip as if he didn’t know what that would do to the audience watching.)

“Come in Doctor, catch up”

“You can do it, come on” acting as if he was a tutor, helping a child.

The Doctors mouth dropped in realisation.

“Ooooh”

O looked happy at that response, maybe even excited.

“That’s my name, and that is why I chose it”

“Oh so satisfying” He smiled.

“It was a bad pun even for me” you whispered. You were too confused to even notice you spoke that out loud or that you were even smirking at the godawful pun that he made, and let’s be honest, you WOULD have made that pun.

He looked at you a smiled softly, a low laugh that he only kept going for you, even with his disguise dropped. He quickly switched his attention to the Doctor.

“Doctor I did say, look for the spymaster”

his voice started dropping lower. In time not volume. Almost as if he was becoming someone else.

“Or should I say, spy...”

“Master”

The Doctor looked horrified and he took a deep, staggered, breath.

“Hi” he smiled. His whole demeanour had changed. Even his eyes, they burned with a hated and target into the Doctor.

“You can’t be”

“Oh I can be and very much am”

“So what’s going on then, if he’s not really O” Ryan spoke up for us confused humans in the back. Literally, back of the plane.

“I’m her best enemy” He responded as he got closer to the Doctor, laughing at her face when he stood next to her.

“Call me Master”

He addressed the fam as he started speaking, but in his last word, his name, he kept his eyes locked to yours.

Words of confusion arose from the fam, the Doctor still yet to recover from the shock.

“Me and her, we go way way way back”

“I met O” The Doctor trying to figure the situation asked the Master.

“I know”

“Years ago”

“I know!” He replied to her, laughing all the while.

“But there was an O at MI6! C was talking about him” Ryan being calm enough to think the situation through. The Doctor wasn’t doing to great and honestly? Neither were you.

“Yes, a man very close to my heart”

“Well in my pocket, actually. Wanna see him? It’s always good to have a backup of ones work”

He held up a matchstick box. His eyes locked to yours again, the demonstration purely for your benefit. Not to frighten you, he knew you’d be curious as to what was going on.

“Tissue compression, it’s a classic”

You finally saw what was in the matchstick box.... it was the original O.

Your mouth dropped as you whimpered slightly at the sight. The Masters eyes softened for a moment, wondering if perhaps he shouldn’t have shown you. He focused on the others for a moment to get you out of his head and thoughts before continuing.

“Ambushed him! On his way to work for his first day, shrunk him, took his identity and set myself up in MI6”

He turned back to the fam and kept you in his sights to see your reaction. You were still shocked and afraid, so he did the only thing he could. The thing you bonded over. He tried to make a joke.

“Surprisingly good staff canteen”

If he wasn’t watching you, he wouldn’t have noticed the quick smile or the breath you took. Another time, that would have you giggling and he knew. But you weren’t as scared as you were a second ago, so it did it’s job. He smiled softly at you closed you mouth and took a breath to calm yourself.

He was going to through the small box to the side to spite the Doctor, but he didn’t want to scare you so he put it back in his pocket and faced the Doctor once more.

“I have had a lot of fun” he started clapping out of enjoyment as the Doctor ran for the cockpit. The Master turned back to the fam and grimaced before a tiny giggle left his mouth. You were about to speak when suddenly

“Where’s Barton?!” Now that got your attention

The Master turned back around as if he’d been caught stealing a cookie. He jumped around acting like he didn’t know where to go until he sat down in a plane seat a few rows in front of you as the others ran past him.

He turned to you, you still looked terrified before, hearing that the plane didn’t have a pilot didn’t help

“So how’s the inflight entertainment?” He smiled softly at you, not the cruel smile he’d been giving out. An encouraging one, perhaps concerned and kind.

“I don’t like the comedy show” you whispered. You were scared. Confused. Still had burning lungs. Worried about the Doctor and others. And on top of that making a joke with a, now know, murderer was not at the top of your priorities.

“Check the seat” he called out after controlling his laughter at your reaction. The fam panicked as he whispered just loud enough for you to hear.

“it’s going to be ok” he knew in his mind it wasn’t. You were going to die. You are a human, he has no need for humans no matter how much he enjoyed your company. You knew it too.

He smirked evily as he glanced at the cockpit.

“Cockpit bomb”

He glanced at you at your gasps of horror. Smoking as he continued.

“Short fuse. I can relate to that”

A knowing smile until he heard the sound of the sonic.

“No! Did you think I wouldn’t have thought of that?’ It’s sonic proof Doctor! Come on!”

“Dead lock sealed and I made sure, no parachutes on board”

You knew you were going to die. You wanted to get to your friends, your fam. But the Master blocked your way.

“There must be a way!”

You doubted it. You were frightened and wanted your friends. You made eye contact with Yaz and Ryan, both held their arms out for you, knowing you needed them. You pushed past the Master into their arms and whimpered a little. You tried to keep it quiet so the doctor couldn’t hear you. You didn’t want her to stress out more than she already was.

Yaz said something to the Master and he replied, but you couldn’t make it out. You were too busy being scared and keeping it quiet. You caught the end of their conversation as the Master said

“...even these guys” you saw the creatures you were investigating. And if you weren’t scared enough?

“I can’t do it! Get away!” The Doctor shouted. She shut and barricaded the door in a feeble attempt to keep the explosion away from you all. The bomb went off and she fell over.

All you could hear was screaming. The fams, the Masters, your own. Your grip on the seat that you had grabbed weakened and you fell. You never hit the ground. In the chaos you could just about notice you had been caught. It was the purple cost that gave their identity away.

“Tell me Y/N, are you mad at me?”

You held onto him, him being the only steady thing you could grab on to at the moment.

“I’ve been mad at you since the Wizard of Oz reference”

He laughed as he held you in his arms. He steadied you in a seat and left towards the Doctor and stood over her.

“One last thing, you should know in the seconds before you die. Everything that you think you know, is a lie”

He turned to face you again.

“Y/N! Do me a favour!”

“What?!”

“Don’t die!”

“That’s kinda the idea here! your not exactly helping!”

“Good little human! I’ll see you soon!”

“If I don’t die in a damn plane crash you twit!”

he laughed before he sobered, turning back to the Doctor

“Got you, finally”

And with that he vanished.

Now we just have to survive the plane crash...

I’m sure the Doc.. Annnnd she just got taken.

Just great.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #dhawan!master #the master #Agent O #I wanna do a part two of this #sassy reader making jokes with the master as he’s trying to kill them is a mood #part 2 in the hanger The Madter getting b*** slapped #the sass that will ensue #the Doctor will probably have to hold them back

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