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stayandot8 · 1 year

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This Lover of Mine

Genre: Tooth-aching fluff

Relationship type: new-ish established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: For anyone who's having a tough and stressful week. This one is for you. this is the fluffiest thing I ever did write gahd dayum. Gonna give yall a cavity with how sweet this is.

WC: 3.1k

masterlist

Holding my phone between my shoulder and my ear, I could hear the screaming in the background of Chan’s apartment. Han’s shriek of protest pierced my eardrums so harshly I dropped my keys to the front door of my work.

“Christopher.” I couldn’t help the tired giggle that escaped my lips. “Please control your children, I can barely hear you.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” His own laugh was like magic to my soul, healing the ache that a long week tore in. I heard shuffling on the other end as I picked my keys back up and turned them in the lock, ending my work week for the time being. I dropped the keys in my bag and started my long trudge home, anxious to finally lay down in my own bed and sleep for an ungodly amount of hours. People were being especially stupid today, asking questions that were easily answered with a simple internet search or making demands that were simply not in my job description to meet. And they were doing this all. week. long. And I had had it. It didn’t help that working all week had prevented me from hanging out with any of my friends. And the worst part? They hadn’t even called to check where I was. That part stung the most.

Chan’s voice broke through my visit through my horrors of the past week.

“So you’re done with work now?” The background noise had faded now, as if he had moved to another room.

“Yeah, I just locked up. I’m so excited to take a hot bath and lay down. I can feel the exhaustion in my teeth.” More of that soul-healing laughter. It made me smile involuntarily.

“Your teeth are tired?”

“I know, I regretted it the second I said it. But you get my point though.”

“Well, tired teeth aside…” I loved when I could hear his smile when he talked. “Is there any chance you would want to come over and just relax here? I’m sure I can kick the others out if you wanted to be alone.” I was quiet at his request. I wanted to see him, but the others sounded just a little too hyper for me at this time of night. And with the soreness already taking over my legs as I walked home, I was sure I wouldn’t be the life of the party I usually wanted to be. And I only wanted my boyfriend’s friends to see me at my best.

“I would love to see you but I’m not sure I have the energy to be hounded by those children right now. And I don’t want to be the reason you kick them out. Some of them do live there so I would feel bad.”

“Oh trust me, I don’t mind.” Not a trace of a joke in his tone, which made me laugh again. This one knew how to make me smile and laugh better than anyone else could. It all felt like a dream in that way.

“Well, I would mind. But thank you anyways. Oh shit, I forgot I have to stop at the store. I have absolutely no food at home.” The groan in my throat was feral, rolling my eyes was immediate. “Now I can’t even go straight home.” My whine made me stop in my tracks, putting Chan on speaker to look up the closest store to my location. I was already on my way when I realized he hadn’t spoken in a bit. “Babe?”

“Yeah?” That voice was mischievous, as if a plan was forming in his mind in the silence.

“You still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. You said you had to stop at the store right? Don’t forget toothpaste, you’re almost out. And don’t forget Han’s favorite cereal, he’ll freak out if we come over for breakfast again and you don’t have it. Or Hyunjin’s fruit stuff, you know the one. Okay, well, I”m gonnagonowokayiloveyoubabegethomesafebye.” I paused in my tracks as the phone beeped. Did I just get hung up on? AFTER being given a list??

I followed my phone’s directions to the nearest store and grabbed a cart to load up, the fluorescent lights stinging my tired eyes as I went aisle by aisle, grabbing some toothpaste, which had been a nice reminder. I grabbed Han’s stupid cereal, nothing but sugar and marshmallows, sprinkled with some addictive chemical that made the squirrel boy go nuts for it. Pun intended. Hyunjin’s fruit spread was a little harder to find, buried deep within the shelves. About forty-five minutes later, I was carrying my bags into my elevator, sagging onto the walls of the metal box. I was ready to collapse when I heard the ding, signaling my turn to get off and drag myself down the hall to my door. I fumbled with my keys when I heard soft piano music coming from inside my own apartment. I froze. My door was closed so there was no sign of forced entry. What kind of intruder puts on music and closes the door behind them?

The kind that has a key. The realization hit me as I opened the door, which was unlocked. We would have to talk about that.

The smell of jasmine and citrus hit me as soon as I walked into my dim apartment. Candles lit every surface from my kitchen counter to the coffee and side table in my small living room. The small firelight cascading beautiful shadows all around the small space I called my own, creating the perfect atmosphere for relaxation. I kicked off my shoes and dropped my bags near the fridge further inside to see the rose petals on the floor, leading down the darkness of the hallway and into my room, a soft glow coming from within. The groceries could wait, the curiosity killing me. The invitation was beckoning me as it drew me in, my footsteps careful and quiet as I followed the clear path to the source.

This boy was going to be the death of me.

Chan was fumbling around with my TV remote, scrolling through different streaming services to find whatever he was looking for. He was sitting on the edge of my bed, facing away from the door frame I was now standing in. There were more gentle shadows from the army of candles that were lit on every flat surface. My laptop, which he had somehow broken into, was stuck on a silent loop of a fireplace, adding to the coziness of the atmosphere. More petals littered the floor and my bed had been transformed into a haven for the softest looking blankets I had ever seen and pillows of every shape and size. In the middle of the pile was my very own Wolfchan plush, the one I cuddled with while he was away. He had drenched it in his cologne to help when I missed him the most.

On my desk where the laptop sat, there was an array of trays and plates of food. Fruits, chocolates, chips, and candies were all in dishes surrounding the entree: a round cake that was no bigger than my opened hand, strawberries outlining the edges. A bottle of something I couldn’t make out was standing next to two glasses and I only assumed it was some sort of alcohol with the curly writing of the label.

“Wha-” No words were coming to mind, just sounds that made no sense from the way to my mouth from my brain. Chan whirled around, not expecting me so soon it seemed. His features softened when he saw the adoration on my face, his smile growing with each step he took closing the space between us.

“Hi baby.” He brought his lips to mine in a soft peck which I didn’t have enough mental strength to return the way I wanted to. I was still in shock, that this most perfect boy somehow found a way to prove once again that I would never find another like him.

“What is all this?” I finally said after drinking it all in.

“Do you like it?” His hopeful eyes watched me as I glanced around my room, not able to fully comprehend every level that this gesture meant to me. “Wait, there’s more!” He exclaimed excitedly, taking my hand in his and leading me to my own bathroom. I had to know where on earth he got all of these candles…

My bathtub was full, the steam rising from the pool with an aroma that called to my aching bones. The overhead light was off, little tealight candles surrounding the lip of the tub while still leaving an open space meant for me to climb through. The petals on this floor were white, leaving a path in the middle for me to walk through.

“Go ahead and get in, I’ve got something else for you when you get out. They should be done drying by the time you’re done.” I felt the pinch behind my eyes at his words. There was more? I couldn’t move as I just stared at the physical touches of his love around the small space. I felt his hands move from my shoulders down my arms behind me as he whispered, so close to my ear it sent shivers down my spine.

“You have to get undressed first, baby. Here, let me help you.” He reached around from behind me to grab the bottom of my work shirt and lifted it up as I raised my arms to help him. He threw it somewhere I couldn't see. His warm hands stopped on my shoulders again, his thumbs moving to release some tension from the base of my neck. His fingers trailed down again to the clasp of my bra to release the hooks, letting it fall from my shoulders and to the floor. He ghosted his fingers down to my hips to trail to the front of my pants, undoing the button and grasping my underwear and pants in one swoop and dragged them down my legs for me to step out of. I finally faced him to ask the only question that mattered to me at that moment as he stood up straight again.

“Will you join me, my love?” My eyes widened in hope and I bit my lip, anxious for his answer. His answering smile told me I only needed to ask.

“Are you sure you don't want to enjoy this alone?” My annoyed expression was the only thing he needed before he let out a giggle. “I just wanted to be sure. Take my hand, darling.” He held it out as he stepped in front of me to lead me the three feet to the warm haven that awaited me. He didn’t let go until I was in and settled. He quickly stripped himself of his own black tshirt and sweats and climbed in behind me, scooting back and spreading his legs on either side of me. As I took my rightful place, the sigh that escaped me came from the depths of my chest. I let my head rest on the crook of his neck, his lips immediately attaching themselves to my own neck. He trailed his lips up my neck into my hair as he grabbed my arm to the hair tie wrapped around my wrist. He took it off me and swept my hair into a fist and he tied it up and nudged my head back to its original place.

“Let me clean you.” He whispered again, grabbing a cloth from the side of the tub and dunking it in the water to wet it before dragging it across my arms. I felt the tension melt away as he finished my arms and moved to my back, going in circles to massage the soothing water into my skin as much as possible.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked as he finished. I found it hard to form words again but this time, it was from the numb feeling of bliss from the last ten minutes of being washed and touched with enough tenderness that I wanted to cry again. I fought it as well as I could, hoping Chan wouldn’t get the wrong idea if a tear or two escaped.

“I couldn’t put it into words, Chan. The only thing I can think of is bliss.” I sighed as I closed my eyes and leaned back onto him. He wrapped his arms around me again and kissed my temple.

“Good. Now let me get you a towel so you can dry off and I can get your other present out of the dryer. It should be nice and toasty now.” He twisted my chin to look at him and kiss me with his plump lips, his mouth parting slightly to take my bottom lip into his teeth and watch it snap back into place. My eyes started drooping, half from how relaxed my limbs now were and half because fuck that was hot. He climbed out of the tub and raced towards the folded towel on the sink, grabbing it and bringing it towards me. I grabbed it with my arms held high, trying not to let it touch the water and get it wet. He grabbed another towel and wrapped it around his waist, leaving his delicious torso open for me to gawk at unashamedly. The water droplets were glistening in the ridges of his abs in the candlelight. I couldn’t take my eyes away and I jutted out my bottom lip in a pout when he walked out of the bathroom, taking my view with him. I sighed and shook my head, trying to clear the dirty thoughts from my head.

I stood out of the water, immediately hit by the cold after being submerged for far too long. I pulled the stopper to drain the water and climbed out, patting my body dry as best I could when I heard soft footsteps coming back to me. Chan reappeared, holding a brand new tshirt with a stray kids logo, fresh from his recent tour and a pair of pajama pants. His smile matched mine as I took them from him and giggle-bounced on my toes. They were still warm, the perfect thing to throw on in my near-shivering state.

“I hope you like it, it’s my last one. I thought you would like this better than the green one since you like pink. I thought it looked like you so I grabbed it.”

“I love it. I’m putting it on right now.” I pushed past him to my dresser for a pair of underwear to put on underneath. He followed me out, grabbing his own clothes to put them back on and blew out the candles. My underwear and pants were on when I turned to see he had done the same. He was pulling on his shirt when I let the words tumble out. “You don't have to wear that.” I would’ve felt my blush under any other circumstance, but this time I couldn’t be bothered to feel embarrassed to say my thoughts out loud. He broke into a smirk and nodded, folding his shirt again and placing it on the dresser. He grabbed the trays of food and brought them over to the bed, patting the space beside him as I pulled my new favorite shirt over my head. I practically skipped over to the bed, grabbing the expensive looking bottle and the glasses on the way. He resumed his scrolling through the movies as I flopped into the pile of blankets and pillows he had made for us. He scrunched up his face as he read the descriptions of each movie, puffing his lips out in concentration. I wanted to pinch those cheeks.

After entirely too much discussion, he finally settled on one and pressed play. He scooted back into the biggest pile near my headboard to lean against and pat the space between his legs for me to climb into. I poured us each a glass and placed them on the side table for easy access before crawling between his legs, sitting in the same position as we were mere minutes ago in the tub, my back to his chest and his chin resting on the top of my hair. His arms snaked around my waist and held firm.

“Chan.”

He hummed, encouraging me to continue.

“Thank you. For this, for everything.” He brought his finger up to my chin to turn towards him, his eyes round and inviting. “It’s nothing you’ve done, but I’ve just been feeling so alone lately and you’ve been so…” I didn’t know how to end that sentence. There were too many ways to end it and all of them seemed fitting. He smiled again and I felt the last bit of loneliness I had been feeling just melt away. “Just… thank you.”

“As long as I’m here, you’ll never know a lonely day again.” He placed yet another kiss on my lips, letting them linger together and get tangled with each other. I pulled away to just look at his face, in awe that I could claim it as mine.

“Sometimes I don’t believe you’re real. I have to pinch myself to know that you are actually in front of me and doing these things. You make me fall more and more in love with you and I don’t know how you do it. Just when I think I can’t possibly love you anymore than I already do…” I could only smile at him, barely holding my tears back.

“Well, I’m real. And I am yours for as long as you’ll have me. You have ruined everyone else for me. You are it for me. You are all I will ever want. And if I have to spend my whole life proving it to you, then it will be the greatest success I will ever have the pleasure to achieve.”

I brought up my hands to latch onto his as if they would disappear as I continued to stare at his features, studying them and committing them to memory. I felt my lips curve into a smile again as I turned my head back around to watch whatever he had picked out. I brought his kuckles to my mouth, kissing his hands and pouring all of my unspoken words into the small affection. He clenched me tighter as he brought me closer to his warmth.

The love of my life.

My friend.

My boyfriend.

My lover.

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arealphrooblem · 1 year

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Deathtouched

For @heroes-villains-side-blog because I saw your little collection of Villain with Death Touch powers/Hero who is immune fics and got inspired. ^.^

Technically, Hero was not cleared for field work. Sure, they knew some self defense moves in case of emergency. They carried a taser and knew how to shoot a gun with great accuracy. But their power was not an offense-based power and so Hero’s job happened after the villainous defeats at the hands of other Heroes.

Hero was a Nullifier. A touch from them prevented any other Powered individual’s abilities from activating. Their blood was drawn monthly and used in serums given to imprisoned Villains. Sometimes, when a Villain’s power was particularly dangerous, Hero stepped in to bind them or dose them with serum.

But they had never faced a Villain awake and at full power. They never confronted anyone.

Until today.

Villain first appeared on body cam footage, in the middle of a street fight between Superhero and some low level villain grunt. He appeared like a ghost, a shadow figure that materialized from the shadows. In fact, his sudden presence stopped both Superhero and Grunt mid swings.

Hero had initially rolled their eyes. Villain was tall, dressed in all black, complete with billowing cape and leather gloves. Like a Darth Vader fanboy, but without the mask.

No obvious powers either. No electricity or super speed or invulnerability. Hero wondered if this really was just some glorified cosplayer with a couple of gadgets and no real power to speak of. Just someone desperate for a little notoriety from the body cam footage.

“Who the fuck are you?” the Grunt had demanded.

Villain ignored him and looked straight at Superhero. “I need him. Hand him to me and no one else gets hurt.”

“Why?” Superhero had asked suspiciously. “What do you plan on doing with him?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“I’m afraid, as an Hero of the Agency assigned to this area, it’s every bit my concern.”

As Superhero and Villain faced off, Grunt had tried to slink away. Before Hero could warn Superhero, Villain whirled around and grabbed a handful of Grunt’s jacket and slammed him up against the wall.

“Look, we obviously both have an interest in Grunt,” Superhero had said, approaching the Villain in slow cautious steps. “Why don’t we work together? You could come with me and question him back at the Agency.”

Villain leveraged Grunt against the wall with a forearm to the throat as he worked one of the leather gloves off.

“I don’t want to question him,” he had said before placing a long-fingered, elegant hand against the side of Grunt’s face.

Grunt let out an earsplitting scream of agony that lasted only a few seconds before he slumped over.

Lifeless.

The camera shook as Superhero immediately took several steps backward.

“What did you just do?” he had demanded.

“Walk away and you won’t have to find out,” Villain had warned.

If only Superhero had listened; he would still be alive.

Over the next week, a trail of bodies followed Villain, mostly grunts and spies and brokers for Supervillain. This was clearly a mission of vengeance.

The Agency had debated on teams to send out, but hesitated to act. Superhero had been one of their strongest agents and he died in seconds at a mere touch. They didn’t want to risk anyone else to fight a Villain they knew nothing about.

And frantic searches revealed nothing about this guy.

Time ran out when Villain himself appeared at the doors of the Agency, like a nightmare come to life. The only person who volunteered to meet him was Hero.

“What is your name and why are you here?”

Hero’s voice didn’t shake, but their hands did. They kept them tightly in their coat pocket, fingers tightly wrapped against the glass syringe.

“I am here for Supervillain,” he said. “And if you let me kill him, no one else needs to die. I’ll even turn myself in.”

Revenge, just as Hero expected. Supervillain, locked away deep, deep, underground, was probably the worst of his kind. The personification of pure self-serving evil. If Hero was head of the Agency, they would roll the red carpet out for this villain to do exactly that.

But that would set up a dangerous precedent.

“I’m sorry. Even if I could take you at your word, I can’t allow you to waltz in and execute a Depowered individual.”

The Villain’s eyes narrowed and he took slow steps forward. Hero took several steps back before they even realized it, until their back pressed against the front door.

The locked front door.

Villain loomed before them, and Hero remembered how much the galaxy had feared Darth Vader, even if he did look ridiculous.

“You are not a fighter,” he murmured. “You have no profile in the Agency.”

One gloved hand rose slowly to to cup their face. Hero shrunk back on instinct but had no where to go. Their heart thundered in their ears.

“You’re a sacrificial lamb they threw to the wolves while they scramble for an escape.”

He sound almost sorry for Hero, a thread of sincere empathy in his dark velvet voice. It did nothing to quell the choking fear. Villain’s power couldn’t hurt them, no. But a bullet could, or a hand wrapped around their throat, or even a good old fashioned beat down. Villain was much bigger than Hero and there were a thousand ways to die that had nothing to do with powers.

“There is no need for you to die,” he said softly. “Go home. Stay out of my way.”

He took a step back, putting enough distance to allow Hero to follow his orders. A locked door wouldn’t stop him and if he got into the facility he would kill every single person who stood in his way.

They had one chance to take him out and they had no hope to win a fight. So Hero used their only other advantage — surprise.

Steeling themselves, Hero took two firm steps forward, fisted their fingers in edges of his cape, stood on the tiptoes and kissed Villain square on the mouth.

He flinched back immediately, but Hero kept their grip strong and did not pull away until the Villain’s mouth went slack in shock.

His gaze was a dark, glittering abyss.

“How,” he said hoarsely. “How?”

Hero’s only reply was the sharp jab of the needle into his neck as they plunged the sedative into his system.

Part Two:

#hero x villain #enemies to lovers #villain x hero #touch starved villain #my writing #not a prompt #deathtouched

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bangtaninborderland · 1 year

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JJK- Baby Don’t Cry

You and Jungkook had been arguing non stop for the better part of the past two weeks, you had forgotten why you were initially angry at one another instead you had both began to find things to dispute every day, each time it progressively putting you both in a worse position.

You were thankful his schedule had gotten busier in the last week, both needing time to clear your head.

You’d been with Jungkook since you were 18 and he was 19, you’d grown together, you’d had your first everything with one another. First date, first adult relationship, first time.

You’d supported him through the past 6 years of his career as he had yours, you’d started your own clothing business, Jungkook had invested into it, you declined at first but he insisted and eventually you gave in, it had succeeded and your own company had 5 stores in South Korea and 3 in Japan.

It hadn’t been easy, you both had always been under a lot of pressure but you made it work, things never got bad. Not until December 17th.

You knew how much Jungkook was worried about the future, the people he had surrounding him were suddenly about to be doing their own things. Of course he could manage without them, he is a full grown man. He isn’t a helpless child but it still hurt when he had to bid goodbye to his eldest Hyung.

For the first month you had both taken time off work to be with one another, you were close with jin. He acted as a big brother to you, always making sure you were okay. He included you in everything just as much as he did his own fiancé.

Jungkook had cried, gotten angry, refused to do anything and then eventually Namjoon came over with Hoseok and whilst they were all sitting there drinking beer and essentially counselling one another the phone rang.

It was Jin.

They all cried when he let out a “jwehope.” As much as they persisted that they had not cried and that the smell of the beer was just strong causing their eyes to water you knew how much it had effected them.

Jungkook because even more distant after that, he would go to the studio and not come home. A few times you’d had to go to collect him only for him to lock the studio door blocking you out.

Two weeks ago it had gotten the worst it ever had, he had missed your anniversary. He had chosen to go live for army and drink with them.

He had told you he was going to but he forgot to mention he would do it on your very own anniversary. You was furious when he stumbled home the next day complaining of a headache an exhaustion.

You felt awful as you took Bam to the vet for a check up that Jungkook was supposed to take him for. You hadn’t mentioned to him just why you were upset, that conversation was best left for when he sobered up.

You hadn’t anticipated that the second he did he would be back to hiding himself away, refusing to be near you, you felt unwanted. You couldn’t understand this sudden change but you knew one thing and that was that you was not going to let him treat you like this.

You sat on the couch, waiting for him to come home. Usually he would be home anytime after midnight so you prepared yourself for a long night.

It was 4am when he walked in the door, hair messy, his clothes wet most likely from the onslaught of rain.

He jumped seeing you sitting on the couch as he slid his shoes off. “You’re awake.”

“Yep, we need to talk.” You continued to stare out of the window even as you spoke to him.

“What’s wrong now?” He ask, slumping onto the couch opposite you.

You pushed yourself further into the grey corner chair that you had brought a few months ago, you found it comforting to sit and watch the city go by. “Us kook.”

“Nothing is wrong with us.” He defended.

You rolled your eyes, shifting to look at him. “Really? We haven’t stopped arguing for weeks, you forgot our anniversary. You are barely home and when you are you don’t talk to me.”

“It’s not like that.” He shook his head, looking guilty. He shuffled over to your side, pulling you closer to him.

You pulled away earning a hurt look from him, normally you’d rush to fix the problem you usually had amazing communication between you but right now all of those well developed skills no longer existed.

You raised your eyebrows In disbelief. “Then what is it?”

“I just feel so scared, I’m so fucking scared all the time. These next two years are planned out but no plans can predict how we will all feel emotionally, they have always been my family and it’s hard seeing them go one by one when they have already been through so much. I’m so fucking scared because soon enough it’s going to be my turn and what about you? You can’t tell me you won’t be here crying when I’m gone. Fuck we have had each other our entire adult lives, I can barely go a month without you, people don’t respect our privacy enough for you to be able to visit me. How do I know you will all be here when I’m back? I’ll be the last to go you could have all easily moved on.” Your heart breaks as his tears drop to the floor, his nose bright red from the crying.

You knew he had been worried, you knew the time apart for you both would be difficult and in all honesty it probably should have been something you both discussed sooner. You suddenly felt guilty, you’d been so caught up in your own worries that you had failed to notice his.

“Kook, baby don’t cry.” You pulled him in for a hug, trying to make him feel as loved as possible. “I know you’re scared and honestly I am too, I know we haven’t spoken about it but I just thought it would be easier to have this conversation closer to the time. I know the members adore you, I know just how special you are to them, bangtan without you is nothing, the same way it would be nothing if even one of you was missing. When it comes to us all I can say is I have been here since I was 18, you remember the day we met? Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would end up falling in love with you the way I did. You were such a brat.” You both chuckled before you continued.

“I’m sure the bowling alley we went to on our first date was minuets away from actually collapsing, I still don’t want to know how you even knew that place existed.” You laughed again, he shuffled you around so you were resting against his chest. The faint sound of his heart beat comforting you. “Do you remember the way you invited me to your music bank performance? You handed me an invitation and walked off, I was so confused. I have never waited so long for something in my entire life but seeing you doing what you loved made me so much more interested in you.”

“Firstly, in my defence Namjoon Hyung had told me about that bowling alley. I argued I should have taken you to an expensive restaurant but Jin Hyung said it didn’t matter where you go with someone, it’s always the person that matters not the place. Besides I don’t remember you complaining about how the date ended.” He pinched your side, making you squirm. “Secondly, I was so nervous to ask you to come I even requested they hand out snacks and water so you would be okay. I didn’t want you to just want Jungkook of BTS. I was nervous you were going to sell me out.”

You turned to look at him, he seemed apologetic but you could understand the pressure he was under to maintain his image. “I never knew if you noticed this but I would always turn my phone off so you didn’t worry.”

“I did, after a few dates it became something I was both aware and thankful for, it’s crazy how we never think back to that time. It’s been years and this is the first time we have revisited our beginning.” He sighed.

You drew a breathe before responding, linking your fingers with his. “We are going to be okay, I’m going to be here waiting for you and so what if I cry in your overly expensive sweatshirts and ruin them all, I’ll be okay because at the end of it all we will have each other. We have always had each other Jungkook.”

You felt him relax behind you at your last sentence, as much as he hated to admit it he too craved reassurance the way you did.

“I don’t want you to regret waiting for me.” He whispered, his voice laced with shame.

You shook your head, climbing off him to reposition yourself. You swung a leg over his lap, placing yourself directly in front of his face. “Jeon Jungkook, I have ran away from paparazzi for you, I hid in a bush when you were approached by fans, we went to dates in the sketchiest places for the first two years because I was too afraid to go to anything remotely high end in fear we would get caught, I cooked an entire three course meal when I first met the members just to make a good impression only for you to bring home pizza. We have gone through tours, not seeing each other for weeks, our only time together being spent sleeping, we have argued and we have made mistakes but every single time it has only reaffirmed that I am utterly in love with you and I would wait an eternity to be with you.”

You lean into his touch as he brings a hand to caress your face, his lips pressing a kiss to your forehead, then your nose and your lips. His breath was hot on your face as he mumbled “I thought I was the luckiest person, I had fame, financial security, amazing friends, the ability to pursue my dreams but it all meant nothing without you, you were the final piece to my puzzle.”

“Much like all of those wonderful things I am not going anywhere, ever. Unfortunately you’re stuck with me.”

He shook his head laughing. “I’d be honoured to be stuck with you.”

You laughed with him but slowly it died down and you was left with your own worries. “Why was you pushing me away? You really forgot our anniversary.”

His face fell, his shoulders sagging. “I felt awful, I was trying to work on my album but nothing was working I genuinely thought it wasn’t for another week ever since jin Hyung left and hobi Hyung started to prepare to go time has gone by weirdly. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you I am going to do better, I think I was worried so much that you’d leave I started to push you away. I thought at least then I’d be able to prepare myself.”

You lightly smacked his chest. “You are so foolish, you are definitely going to have to make it up to me I am still very mad at you for that but I can understand.”

You knew how hard the last few months were for him. Coincidentally you knew how much of a perfectionist your boyfriend is so you knew he would make it up to you in the most extra way ever.

“What If I buy you a house?” He raises an eyebrow.

“We have a house” you retort.

He hums. “What if I buy you a car.”

“I don’t have my licence.” You laughed.

“What if I buy you a cardboard cut out of me, I see a video of an army with one in her room. You can hug that when I enlist.” He raises his hands as if to defend from an attack as he laughs.

You scowled at him rolling your eyes. “Why would I need a cardboard cut out? I climb into bed with you every day, besides I’m sure my imagination can muster up enough material.”

“You’re such a tease, I’ll make it up to you, you know that right?” He pulls you closer to his chest, his arms feeling like a safe barrier around you.

“I know you will. You know we will be okay? We will figure it out together. Always have and always will.” You smile, knowing that with him everything would all be okay.

“I’m sorry for being so emotional, I know I should have just talked to you. I know we will be okay.” For some reason you find comfort in his reaffirmation of your beliefs.

You pull back, your hands falling to the side of his face as you pull him in for a kiss. “Never ever apologise, you’ve gotten me through my worst and I will you.”

“Don’t cry baby.” He whispers mimicking your earlier words as he brushes away a tear that you had unknowingly shed.

“We will be okay.”

“Always will be.”

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mlove44lh · 1 year

Text

Don’t hurt yourself

Chapter 6 - 4:44

Masterlist

Previously chapter

Warnings: angst, smut, mention of blood, mention of infidelity, alcohol use.

Lewis POV in this chapter

Words: 4.939

“Do I find it so hard

When I know in my heart

I'm letting you down every day

Letting you down every day

Why do I keep on running away?”

August

"I open the door first. I know the apartment is clean, but I still feel afraid she'll see something. For me, the smell of blood mixed with bleach remains ingrained in every crevice of this place. I want to be able to leave, take all the good memories of this place, and go to another place to call home. And leave behind the worst thing that ever happened in our lives.

She follows me, in slow steps, still in shock.

I've never seen Y/n like this. She doesn't look like herself anymore, just a sad shell of herself. I must not be any different, I know that, but I try to pretend to her that I'm okay. Maybe if I show her that I'm confident that everything will be resolved and work out, maybe she'll believe it and start thinking that way too.

"Do you want me to make the bed for you to lie down?"

I put my backpack on the floor as I lock the door. I watch her walk to the kitchen and follow her. At this moment, the last thing I want is for her to be alone or feel lonely.

She doesn't say anything. She just walks over to the sink and pours herself a glass of water.

She doesn't look at me. The last time she looked at me, she was covered in blood, screaming for me in the bathroom of our suite. That's the last image I have of her eyes on mine, filled with panic and pleading for some kind of help.

"Did you try to wash it?"

There's so much pain in her voice that it makes me want to cry again. Only then do I realize her gaze is directed towards the laundry room. She looks at the bucket filled with liquid that has now taken on a pinkish tone. Through the water, you can see the fabrics inside it.

They are the clothes she was wearing at that moment. Regret hits me as soon as I notice her perception.

"You shouldn't have seen that. I was going to throw them away, but I didn't have time."

"Did you try to wash them?"

She asks me again, this time with indignation. I stand in front of her, but her gaze doesn't leave the damn bucket.

"I didn't know what to do. I think I was in shock. I spent hours scrubbing, thinking it would make a difference. I'm sorry."

She nods, but the movement is so subtle that it's almost imperceptible. It takes her a while to speak again.

"I don't understand. He was so small. And all that blood..." Her eyes finally leave the bucket and meet mine. She looks exhausted, more melancholic than ever, and all I want is to be able to help, but I know there's no way I can do that right now.

"How was it possible?" she asks.

I gently clasp my hands around her delicate arms, trying to lead her away from the kitchen, and she accepts, I don't think she could fight against anything right now. Y/n sits on the couch, her eyes avoiding mine on the way there, and once again, I begin counting in my mind to see how long I'll go unnoticed by her.

I sit in front of her, trying to think of something to say to ease our pain.

"I know it feels like this will never end, Y/n. But we'll get through this, we'll manage to get past it."

The laugh that comes out of her lips is weak and humorless. I stop talking when I hear the sound coming out of her lips.

"Stop it, Lewis," she says, still not looking at me. "First, stop acting like you know what's going to happen. Second, stop saying 'we' as if you've gone through half of what I've been through."

Y/n gets up from the couch as if she had found strength from somewhere within herself. I continue sitting, watching her every move, trying to process her words and thinking that it would end there.

She walks down the hallway but quickly comes back to me, looking back into my eyes.

“You know what? I think this was a terrible idea from the beginning.”

“What?”

“I don't know why I thought we would do well having a child together.” She laughs as if she really finds it funny. “It's not like I didn't know I would end up raising this child alone.”

I look at her and I know there is supplication in my gaze, I don't want her to finish talking, I want her to take back what she's already said. I know she's hurt, I know she's more broken than ever. But this hurts so much.

"You're never here, and every day you find something new to do as if you couldn't spend a damn minute standing still. It's not like you're going to change overnight. Lucky for him to have given up while there was still time, right?" She looks at me for a few seconds before turning and heading back towards the hallway. "Maybe he realized before what he was getting into. We should take this as a sign or something."

I hear the door slam at the end of the hallway. I want to get up from here, I want to go to her, I could even start screaming at Y/n now, but I couldn't. I can't move from here. The words penetrate my mind even as I fight against them.

We planned and dreamed of this, lived every moment with the certainty that everything would work out. I never thought I could hear this coming from the woman of my life, the mother of my child. And for a few seconds it sounded like a tasteless joke, the resentment of a woman who was physically and mentally very hurt, but over time the words began to make sense within me. Maybe she's right, maybe it went wrong now so that it doesn't end up going wrong later. Maybe we were blind not to see that this clearly wasn't going to work out.”

September

“The buzzing in my ear continues to be present even hours after I left the circuit. I thought the numbness would go away once I got into the car and prepared for another race, but that wasn't what happened. It cost me much more than that. Not even the one thing my happiness and motivation for years has been based on was enough to take me out of the bitter limbo I am living now.

I was cowardly to have run away, I should have stayed home, I should have made more effort to stay present and strong. But every time I look at her, it's like those endless tears and all those words that never leave my mind are a reminder of how I couldn't give her the one thing she wanted most in this world. And I have never felt so weak and incapable in my life. That's why I left, that´s why I left the most important person in my life behind that wooden door with the ridiculous excuse that I couldn't miss a weekend of racing.

I don't know why I went to Monza, just as I don't know why I went to the hotel bar when I could have waited those hours anywhere else, or why I looked at that woman as if I had the slightest interest in her.

The woman didn't interest me, just as the whisky didn't interest me, or the flight delay, or the lack of points in the weekend race. But still, I said yes to all of it.

And even though I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life, I still felt nothing. None of it could affect me, the thick shell of apathy didn't let anything seep through my skin and make me feel anything. But I knew that this feeling of emptiness would go away at some point, and it did.

The lump in my throat appeared when I heard the door slam behind me from that woman's room. I tried to ignore it, tried to pretend like I hadn't done anything wrong. But by the time I reached the airport, that lump had turned into tears. Tears of pure guilt.

My wife taught me many things, but the greatest of them was how to be more vulnerable. She always told me to let go, that it's worse to keep things inside, that tears can turn into a tsunami inside of us and that would only make things worse. Eventually, I learned to understand and to let go. Y/n became my greatest strength and my confidant. Only her and no one else.

Y/n was like that with me too, she was not afraid to show her emotions and tell me when something was wrong. I think that's why we worked well for so long, there was no treatment of silence. Even when one of us wanted some alone time, the other wouldn't let it go until everything was resolved. But after all that, she changed, and I no longer hear anything real from her, no lamentation, anger, or anguish. All I find when I look at her is a silent sadness. But I can't blame her alone, I may also have lost interest in her tears after hearing the most painful words of my life from her. I feel ashamed to admit it, I shouldn't have taken someone's words so seriously in those conditions, but I really think she had it locked inside her, it just took vulnerability to let it out.

I thought apathy and numbness were the worst feelings I had ever experienced within me. That was until guilt appeared. The knot in my throat hardly lets me breathe and regret hits my chest so hard it seems like it wants to be vomited out of me.

Suddenly everything seems broken in a way that's impossible to fix, as I return home where my wife's imminent sadness awaits me like a tireless reminder of everything that was supposed to be but wasn't.

I wish the flight would be delayed for a few more hours. I wouldn't mind staring at the airport's white wall for the next few days if it meant not having to move on after all of this. But eventually the hours pass, and eventually I calm down and try to think better about what I did and what I can do.

Jordyn. That was her name.

I noticed that her eyes are similar to Y/n's. But I don't know if that was the first thing I noticed. I don't know if I had the dexterity and sobriety at that moment to notice something like that in the low light of that bar. But it was something that I noticed at some point.

She asked me to accompany her to the room. The movement of her hair and the soft tone of her voice also made me feel something familiar.

So I went.

And then I was sitting on her bed.

And she climbed on top of me.

And I didn't take her off.

Why didn't I take her off?

Maybe I did it out of the anger that was hidden so deep inside of me that even I denied it. Anger towards this whole situation, anger towards her even.

Or maybe I saw my wife in that stranger, it's been so long since the last time, maybe that's what it was. I wasn't apathetic or numb, I just missed my wife and found her somewhat in that woman. That's all. It's all okay. Y/n doesn't need to know, she doesn't need this added burden. It meant nothing.

It meant absolutelly nothing."

I turned off the car a few minutes ago, the sun finally appeared after weeks of cold weather in Monte Carlo. The warm rays hit the metal and the lack of air conditioning makes me sweat sitting in the driver's seat. I could turn on the car to enjoy the cool breeze, but that would further delay my trip to the gallery, which I have been trying to do for what seems like hours.

I stare at her car parked in one of the first spaces, she must have arrived early here, I wouldn't doubt that she was the first. Alessia is important in her life, she couldn't miss supporting her.

I open the door to the gallery carefully, not wanting to draw any attention. The place is already crowded, people walking around each piece of art leisurely, analyzing them without any hurry. I don't take long to find her, how could I not notice her presence when she has been and still is like a magnet to me all these years?

Her blue dress makes everyone else present seem a shade of gray. God, if she were wearing pajamas she would still outshine them all.

She doesn't notice me, talking to someone while carrying a half-filled wine glass, her smile is beautiful. She's smiling like before.

I don't need anything else, I even forgot why I came here, I could just stay here, looking at her while she smiles at a stranger and pretend that this genuine smile is directed at me.

“What the hell are you doing here?” The whisper comes from my side and I know who it is before I even turn to look. Alessia glares at me with clear anger on her face. “You were not invited.”

"I just want to talk to her, Alessia. It's been a week since we last spoke.”

We continue to whisper.

“I don't care. Leave the girl alone, get out of here, Lewis.”

“Alessia, please...”

“What are you doing here?"

She cuts me off, and I turn to face Y/n who is now in front of me. The smile is no longer on her lips, now that she looks me in the eyes and the only thing I see is at most neutrality. It hurts me almost physically, I hate myself so much for doing this to her.

“Can I talk to you?”

She sighs before nodding.

“You're kidding me, Y/n.” Alessia seems even more nervous. Y/n comes close to me and puts her free hand around my wrist, I feel good with the contact, even though I know there isn't much affection in it.

“Alessia. Let me handle this, go back to your guests. It's okay.”

Y/n's voice comes out in a whisper that I can hear clearly due to our proximity.

Alessia shrugs before moving away from us.

y/n pulls me out to the outside of the gallery, where there is no one else. She only releases our contact when she leans against the balustrade that separates the garden from the social area.

She takes a sip from the glass before resting it on top of the white plaster and turns her gaze to me.

“What is so urgent that you couldn't wait until I got home to talk?" Her voice isn't so impatient.

“You look so beautiful.”

“Sounds pretty urgent.” There's a hint of laughter in her voice and it makes me smile too.

“That's not what I was going to say. But it's true, you're by far the most beautiful woman here.”

She smiles at me. I take a few seconds to pay attention to those perfect lips curved upwards in a smile for me. Finally.

"Thank you"

I take a few minutes to say what I would like. I could have waited a few hours, but all this anxiety seems to want to kill me.

"I don't know what to do, Y/N."

His smile fades and we quickly go from a minimally relaxed moment to the anguish that surrounds us these last few days. Again my fault.

"What do you mean?"

“It's been a week. I don't know if you're looking for a decision or if we're going to stay like this forever. I don't know if I should talk to you about it or just pretend that nothing happened. I need a direction, I need you to tell me what I need to do to improve and help.”

“Nothing. I've made a decision, Lewis. I'm just trying to get used to it.”

I feel lighter hearing this. She made a decision, she didn't leave the house, didn't stop talking to me, didn't even say the word "divorce". It's like an elephant has lifted off my shoulders. I finally understand and know what's going on.

I can't hide the smile on my lips. I knew we could overcome this, knew everything would work out in the end, it couldn't be different.

"That's good." I know my smile is big.

Y/n's big eyes have always been able to show more than she would probably like, because of that, she can never lie to someone for too long. But sometimes that look seems more complex than usual and trying to decipher it becomes difficult. Even for someone who knows her like me.

"Alessia is going to Italy tomorrow. Check out some works."

She picks up the glass again and takes another sip.

“I'm going with her. Just one day, quick thing." I nod. "When I get back we can talk more about it. I think things will be clearer by then."

"No problem."

"Good." She smiles again. I could stare at that smile for hours. There's no more hurt or anger like before. The only thing I find is certainty and happiness. I can't believe everything worked out, I can't believe I have someone with me who is so good. "Let's go home, I need to pack my bags."

Y/n comes to me, her arm intertwining with mine and we head towards the exit of the gallery. Like a miracle, she seems like a different person, and all of this just leaves me with more hope.

I couldn't take the smile off my face since we left the salon together, everything seems better, everything seems like it will be resolved. I feel like crying with relief.

I leave the bathroom and the only thing I'm wearing is a white towel wrapped around my hips. S/n calmly selects her clothes while humming a tune, she seems focused, but looks at me as soon as she notices my presence.

She smiles. She smiles at me again.

I have to pay attention to my whole being to make sure this isn't a daydream or a lucid dream, it's too good to be true. It's far beyond what I imagined it would be.

She comes to me calmly, I don't know if I can affirm it, but I perceive a certain malice in her smile, my stomach turns with this perception.

I put my hands on her face when she gets close enough, I don't expect anything more than this, anything beyond this type of contact would be too much to imagine. All of this already seems unreal enough at this moment."

"I think we need to talk," I say. "About everything. The now, the after, you know."

Y/n nods, her hands go to my hips and delicately rest on the towel, causing shivers to run through my body.

She nods and leans in closer.

"Do you remember how we started dating? How our relationship ended up happening?" she asks.

I furrow my brow as I agree, trying to understand where she's going with this.

"I barely knew your name and I was already in your bed," our laughter echoes through the room. "I felt kind of impure but it was so good that I didn't care. I never imagined you saw me as a potential wife."

"I went crazy for you. It didn't take long for me to fall in love."

"I dreamed of a fairytale. I had it clear in my mind what each date with the love of my life would be like. I never thought I could sleep with my future husband on the first date." Her laugh makes me laugh along. "And then a bold guy appears, who knows what he wants. And above all, my perfect type. I didn't even want a relationship, but your gift of charm caught me, and before I knew it, I was hooked. All this on the first night.”

"I think it was the opposite, I was hanging out with my friends, had no intention of anything. It was these eyes, and this mouth." My thumb brushes over her features and I silently thank her permission. "I couldn't ignore it, didn't pay attention to anything else in that place, I wanted you for myself.

"And I accepted. Went to your house without hesitation.

"It was wonderful."

She nods while smiling. We stare at each other for a while, I try to hold onto this moment as much as I can.

“Lewis.”

“Yes?”

My heart beats fast, I can feel it. All my senses are sharper than usual. It's like I can feel what's going to happen.

“I want you to fuck me like you fucked me on our first night.”

I take a few seconds to process those words. A kiss would already be much more than I imagined, now reliving that night at her request?! For a second, everything goes through my mind. How did she change so much in days? How is she asking me this when not long ago, I could swear she looked disgusted with me? I feel confident and full of doubts at the same time. But there isn't much time to think when her hands release the towel from my hips and her lips meet mine.

I've been dreaming of her lips for the past few weeks as if, if I had the chance to taste them one more time, I would be the luckiest man in the world. I cling to her soft skin against mine and to all the sensations that run through me. Our kiss becomes faster almost instantly, my desperation for her makes me almost aggressive in my touches. I missed her taste, her smell, her touch on me. For a moment I thought I would never have this again. Y/n possesses something that doesn't exist in anyone else in this world, and I am the luckiest man in the world for having found it for myself.

“Y/n, thank..." I say between the kiss but open my eyes to look at her.

"No. Don't say anything, just touch me," she doesn't look at me, but holds onto me as if she wants to merge us into one.

I do as she asks, my hands wandering all over her body as I carelessly remove each piece of her clothing. And with each of these pieces, it's as if I'm also removing all the walls she built around us.

We didn't take long to get to bed. Our desperate bodies crumpling every piece of clothing she carefully placed on the bed, we don't care about that now. There is only one concern in our minds.

I descend my kisses to her breasts, staying there for some time. I can already feel my erection, which hurts for relief, but I couldn't help but savor every inch of my woman. She is like a piece of heaven between my teeth. Her sighs and low moans only make me even more euphoric. Suddenly, I don't even remember how we got here at this moment, everything seems very unreal.

I position myself between her legs, she watches me with a few strands of hair stuck to her forehead, she has never looked so beautiful. I don't take my eyes off her as I stimulate her with my tongue, feeling her arching but keeping my arms wrapped around her thighs, preventing her from moving away from me.

There's no dialogue, I could talk for hours about how grateful I am and how much I love her body, but I'm afraid of ruining this moment that seems to be hanging by a thread.

Her moans gradually increase, and I know her well enough to know when she's close. My body tenses along with hers, and I feel like I could come together with her just by watching the woman writhing under me.

"Don't stop. I'm almost there, love," she gasps in an almost scream, not taking her eyes off me except to writhe and delve even deeper into the sensation.

"Love.”

It's like the certainty hits me just as the orgasm hits her without delay. I continue to stimulate her until she abruptly pulls away, showing that she couldn't take any more stimulation.

I know she needs a few minutes, but there isn't any. S/n pulls me up as soon as I'm out of her touch. Her kiss is fierce and rushed. I'd like to say something now, but there's no room for that.

Y/n changes position and easily gets on top of me, her hand goes to my member making me gasp with the contact.

“Y/n...”

“Shhh!” She stimulates me with her hands while looking at me attentively. “You missed this, didn't you? You wanted this.” I nod. “Then enjoy it, my love. Enjoy what you wanted from me so much."

I close my eyes with the sensation. She doesn't stop with her hands, and I'm already so sensitive that I know I won't take long to come.

Suddenly, she stops, and before I even open my eyes, I feel myself penetrating her all at once. Moans come from both of us, and it's loud enough to echo throughout the room.

Y/n begins with slow and gentle movements, and I explore her body with the tips of my fingers. As time passes and excitement builds, her movements become firmer and more intense, matching the rhythm of our accelerated breathing.

My hands roam her body with desire and longing, exploring every curve and every inch of her soft skin. When I reach her breasts, my hands stop and I gently caress them, lightly squeezing her nipples while watching her face contort with pleasure.

I keep my hands on her breasts for a few seconds, enjoying the sensation of their softness and the firmness of her nipples. Then, I continue to explore her body with my hands, moving down towards her waist and beyond, as our bodies move in a rhythmic pace of pleasure. I touch her swollen clit with my thumb and start to stimulate her, her movements slow down to enjoy my touch more. It's at that moment that I pull her down, putting myself on top of her again.

My hand instinctively wraps around her neck as we join in another kiss, her hands running all over my body, and I know she wants the contact back, so I give it to her.

The thrusts are already high and rhythmic, Y/n's moans are loud and so are mine, we're both lost in the moment.

I feel her interior contracting around me and I know I won't last much longer, I quicken my movements and her moans still echo as I release inside her while our bodies remain glued to each other.

Breaths are unsteady, and take some time to return to normal. We spend all this time together, without saying a word.

Minutes pass, and her body slowly moves away from mine. The movement is so subtle that I only notice it because I still long for her to be attached to me.

“Does this mean what I think it means?"

She looks at me from the other side of the bed, her body turned towards me but there is no more contact. She lies on her side but doesn't cover herself in any way. The clothes that were supposed to go into her suitcase still lie under her body.

She doesn't answer me, Y/n smiles without showing her teeth and gives me a long peck before getting up and going to the bathroom.

"Y/n, please," I say."

She stops before entering the room and looks back at me.

"Can you calm down and let things happen? We just had a great night after a long time, Lewis. Don't ruin this."

I settle for that, even though I feel like I shouldn't. I watch her enter the bathroom and soon the sound of the shower fills the silence of the room.

I consider going back to what is now my bed in the guest room but it wouldn't make sense, not now that we've finally sorted things out. Now my place is back here, next to my wife.

The white noise lulls me to sleep before I'd like it to. I wish I could stay up all night, just to savor a little more of the sweet sensation of reconciliation, but my body is tired and I end up falling asleep earlier than I would like.

Before falling into a deep sleep, I feel her body next to mine, and if I could encapsulate this feeling, it would be my most addictive drug. I am grateful for finally being able to be forgiven as I delve into the best night of sleep in weeks.

When I wake up, there are no more clothes scattered around, or the warmth of her body next to mine. The only thing I find in bed are papers. And even before I take the pages in my hands, I already know what it's about.

My stomach churns and I feel more stupid than ever.

Author's notes: Hey, is anyone still there?? Sorry for taking so long to post. I had surgery and didn't know it would take me so long to recover. But I'm good now and ready to start writing again. We're in the final stretch of the story, hope you guys enjoy the next chapters.

I'm feeling unsure about this chapter. I didn't like it that much. I think I couldn't express everything I wanted. But I did my best under the circumstances, I really hope you guys like and understand it. Thank you❤️

Taglist:

@slafgoalskybaby, @justanormalfangirlsworld, @ravenqueen27, @nakamotosmoron, @supersanelyromantic, @maryseesthings, @bebesobrielo, @tenaciousathleteoperatorgarden, @bbhyunee, @missamericana69, @thotsposts, @neymessisstuff, @tita010, @bbhyuneee, @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit, @livingpurpose, @leilaxaliel,

If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglist, please let me know!

#au fanfiction #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 x reader #fanfiction #smut fanfiction #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine

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babymetaldoll · 1 year

Text

Baby, I'm yours - Chapter ten: “If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you”

Summary: Spencer takes his one chance to win the love of his life back. Will he get her?

Word count: 8,5K

Warnings: Angst, alcohol, hangover, sadness, more angst, cursing, and fluff.

A/N: Hey guys!! fair warning: Just two more chapters after this!!!!

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

(Y/N)’s point of view

My head was killing me. I woke up late and barely had time to shower and do my makeup. Why did I let my mom give me so much alcohol? Who am I kidding? I wanted to get drunk and cry. Now I had to deal with the consequences of my actions.

I didn’t set foot in the bullpen. Instead, after I walked out of the elevator I ran to JJ’s old office and locked myself in there. The smell of fresh coffee hit me as soon as I closed the door behind my back. I knew I wasn’t carrying any coffee, ‘cos that morning I was too late for work to make breakfast, so I was also starving.

But as a miracle, there was a fresh cup of coffee, a fruit salad, and an eclair on the desk. So Spencer had been there already. And he was still trying to win me back. Unfortunately for me, that morning it kinda worked. I was too hungry and hung over to reject that treat. And so, I ate everything he left there for me. I was glad he wasn’t around, though. I didn’t want him to know just how welcome his breakfast was.

- “Good morning”- Spencer stood at the door and stared at me from a safe distance. I barely had time to put the coffee cup down and wipe my mouth from any eclair left- “I’m glad you enjoyed your breakfast.”

- “Was it from you? I thought I was Penelope’s.”

I lied and looked at the papers on my desk to avoid eye contact. The few seconds I looked at him had been painful enough. He looked miserable. The dark rings under his eyes were massive and as dark as the days after Tobias Hankel tortured him. It brought miserable memories to see him like that. It also felt like a heartbreaking confirmation of his drug issues.

- “I was wondering if we could talk after work today.”- Spencer whispered and stayed still, waiting for my reply. But I didn’t say a word. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. Maybe it was time to talk to him and ends things once and for all. Why was I still delaying that conversation? Only because it scared me to death.

- “I was at your mom’s last night. I don’t know if she told you, or if you heard me.”

I wanted to be mad at him, but as I heard his voice I realized more than anger, the feeling that invaded me was heartbreak. I was brokenhearted. And somehow it felt worst. I could deal with my anger, I knew how to manage it and act in control when I was mad. But brokenhearted was new. I had never felt that way before, not like that. Not to the point of feeling my chest ripped open and my heart pulled out from it.

- “Mom mentioned it.”- I whispered and glued my eyes to the computer screen. Spencer took a few steps closer to my desk, but still, I refused to turn to him.

- “So, about tonight, I was thinking maybe we can have dinner. We hadn’t been to your favorite Italian place in a while.”

- “No, thanks.”- my reply came out harder than I intended. Maybe because his proximity made me feel even more vulnerable.

- “Chipmunk, please.”

- “Good morning.”- Morgan’s voice interrupted Spencer and stopped me from crying. I looked at the door and he stood there, awkwardly, staring at us trying to read the room. It wasn’t hard to decode we were not comfortable.

- “Hey Derek, what can I do for you?”

- “Hotch asked me to tell you a few cadets are coming today for a talk with him and Rossi, and he wanted you to assist him.”

- “Sure, what time?”- I honestly didn’t have time to do it, but anything that meant staying away from Spencer seemed to be a good idea at the moment.

- “Half hour. He wanted to see you in his office.”- I smiled at Derek and stood up.

- “Thank you, Morgan. Excuse me.”- I gathered a notebook, a pen, and my phone, and left the room without any other word or even looking at Reid.

I waved at Prentiss and JJ on my way to Hotch’s office, and they looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. Did I really look that bad? I took mental notes of checking my makeup before the meeting with the cadets. Hotch’s door was open, so I knocked and just walked in before he would say anything.

- “Hey, Morgan said you needed me.”

- “Yes, please take a seat.”- I moved a chair closer to his desk and got ready to listen. Aaron finished signing a few papers and looked at me.

- “Did you sleep?”

- “Do I look too bad?”- I ran my fingers through my hair, probably making a mess, as Hotch raised an eyebrow- “Yes, I slept. Mom and I had a few drinks last night.”

- “I was gonna ask you to assist me in talking with a few cadets, but I think I’m gonna ask JJ to help.”

- “What? Why? Do I really look that bad?”- Hotch stared at me frowning and didn’t say a word. His mouth was a straight line- “I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

- “I’m not saying you look bad, but you are clearly tired.”

- “I’m ok. What do you need me to do? Talk with the kids? Look charming? Sell them the BAU?”

- “Could you and Penelope get a few things to eat? The catering failed us.”- I somehow felt disappointed, but simply nodded. When Morgan said Hotch needed my help, I thought it was something important. Not being his personal shopper assistant.

- “Do you have a grocery list or something?”- I stood up and he handed me a piece of paper.

- “Thank you, (Y/N). I appreciate it.”

Now I wasn’t just tired and depressed, I also felt insulted. Great. I walked through the bullpen straight to Garcia’s batcave on the other side of the floor. There she was, talking with Morgan, giggling like a schoolgirl, staring at him as he smiled at her.

- “Hey guys. Garcia, Hotch asked me to take you shopping today.”- I looked at my friends and tried to look cheerful. Of course, it didn’t work.

- “Oh my god, munchkin, did you sleep?”- Garcia jumped from her chair and walked to me. Her hands rested on my arms as she sweetly caressed me.

- “I did, I had a rushed morning, that’s all. So, ready to go? We are in a hurry.” - Garcia looked at me and then looked at Morgan, who just stood up nodding.

- “Yes, sure. I have to powder my nose first. Wait for me in your car?”- I raised an eyebrow and stared at her. She was blushing, and nervous.

- “Sorry pretty girl. We were just about to finish talking, I need to tell her something. Why don’t you wait for Garcia in your car? She’ll be there in a second”

The way Morgan called me “pretty girl” was odd, for the first time. He was lying, but I didn’t know which part was bullshit. And to be completely honest, I didn’t want to know. I was sleepy, hungover, and grumpy. I just agreed with his idea and walked out of the batcave. It was already bad enough having to go get groceries for Hotch to add more drama to the whole experience.

I sat behind the wheel of my car and kept surfing radio stations, not actually hearing anything. I just kept pushing the button as soon as I realized the song that was playing. Didn’t care if I liked it or now. I was about to call Pen and argue we were already late when the door at the passenger seat opened and Spencer got into the car.

- “Sorry, Garcia couldn’t make it and she asked me to help you instead.”

- “You have to be joking!”- I nearly yelled as he smiled awkwardly and bucked up.- “What are you doing? Get out of my car!”

- “Sorry, but I promised Hotch I wasn’t going to let our personal problems interfere with our work. And as far as I know, this is a work-related trip to get some things to eat.”- he replied calmly, making it so easy to hate him. The worst part was he was right, I knew it and so I just bit my lips and started the car. The faster we got all the groceries, the faster I was away from my liar fiance.

I had been driving in silence for less than five minutes when Spencer started talking. Did I want to listen to his voice? Not at the minute, though a part of me felt it was incredibly comforting to know he was there, in that same car with me. I was still mad at him, but I missed him so much I was going insane.

- “Did Hotch give you a list of things we should get?”

- “Yes”- I answered coldly. It was a thirty-minute drive to the closest Walmart, and I knew I was going to suffer every minute of that ride. I took a mental note to text Garcia as soon as I was out of that car just to tell her how much I hated her.

- “Do you mind if I play some music?”

- “Whatever.”- I kept my eyes glued to the road and made my best effort to pretend Spencer didn’t exist. But do you want to know what he did? He started playing “I’m sorry” songs he knew I’d love.

First, he played “Line without a hook” by Ricky Montgomery, then “Moonlight” by The Future Island. He actually had the nerve to sing it along. I swear I wanted to jump off that car. By the time he sang “Walking after you” by the Foo fighters, I had had enough. So I turned off the radio and he stopped singing right away.

- “Enough music.”

- “Sorry…”- he whispered and stayed in silence for a few minutes. But of course, it didn’t last.

- “Did you get enough sleep last night?”- he whispered and I sighed.

- “No. You?”

- “Neither did I. I don’t know if Frank mentioned it, but he was at our place last night.”- I tried not to show any emotion, but it shocked me to know my best friend had visited him. It also made me feel better to know Frank was taking care of him.

- “No, I haven’t talked to him.”

- “He stopped by at dinner and forced me to eat.”

- “Good.”- I really didn’t know what to answer at that. I kept biting my lips to stop myself from saying anything. Ten minutes later I parked outside Walmart and practically ran out of the car.

Honestly, how the fuck did I get there with Spencer? I just wanted to run away and hide from him. Instead, I walked by his side, as he pushed a fucking cart.

Spencer’s point of view

My plan wasn’t working. Ok, fine, it wasn’t the best plan ever, but I was desperate. When Morgan told me Hotch needed (Y/N) to get some groceries for his meeting with Garcia, I basically begged her to let me go with (Y/N) instead. It was the only way I knew I could talk to her in private outside work. Or even just hang out with her a little bit. I even listed a few songs I could use to melt her heart but failed terribly. So there I was, pushing a cart around Walmart, following her around the store in silence. She just kept picking snacks for the cadets and I didn’t say a word.

- “Can you pick a few sandwiches? I’m gonna get the cupcakes and we are done.”- those were the only words she said to me the entire time we were at the store. If you ask me, my plan was a complete failure.

- “Sure. Do you need anything else?”- but (Y/N) didn’t answer, she had already walked away from me.

The ride back to Quantico was basically silent. The radio was on, but we just heard the local news. I tried to think of any other moment in my life when (Y/N) had been this mad at me, but I couldn’t recall anything. I remembered when I pushed her out of my apartment, while on drugs. Even after that, she wasn’t mad at me. She just wanted to help me quit drugs.

I knew how much I had ruined things, but I still kept realizing every day just how bad my situation was with her. I mean it. I knew of all the things I could have done to her, getting drugs was the worst. It was the same as cheating. And I would never cheat on her.

- “I’m sorry”- I whispered as (Y/N) parked her car back at the BAU. She looked at me for a second, it was the first time she had knowledge my existence since we left the store, though I had been sitting in the same car with her for over half an hour.

- “I know. But sorry it’s not enough”- she replied and opened the door.

- “I miss you, chipmunk”- I said as I grabbed a few of the bags with groceries and she closed the car.

- “I know. But what do you want me to do? Forgive you and pretend you didn’t break my heart?”

I broke her heart. I had sworn I was never going to do anything remotely close to it, but I did anyway. I didn’t mean to, but I still did it. I didn’t deserve her.

(Y/N) didn’t wait for my reply, she just turned around and walked to the elevator, holding a bunch of paper bags. I followed her quickly and bit my lips. I knew no matter what I said, I wasn’t going to fix anything with her that day. At least no there. I needed proof.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I never thought things would end up the way they did. I held a gin and tonic dad had made for me and sat by the pool in our backyard. Mom set a few things to eat at a table nearby, as Frank, Mikey, and Lu kept talking about their week.

When did I time travel and went back to college? ‘Cos it felt like our old Fridays at home. My friends were always at my house, probably ‘cos mom loved hosting and feeding them. Dad would stop by after his shift and put an eye on us, and if Phoenix didn’t have a better plan, he would stay with us and play any random board game we picked.

Yes, it was sweet, but under the circumstances I was under, it felt odd. Specially ‘cos neither dad nor my older brother knew what had happened with Spencer, and they kept asking me if he was going to join us any time soon.

- “Not today.”- I replied and took a long sip of my drink. That was not how my first night off work was planned to be. But at that point, nothing was going according to plan.

- “What the hell? Is there something wrong?”- dad asked mom and I pretended I didn’t listen.

- “No, they just argued. But everything is ok”- dad scoffed and lighted a cigarette.

- “I’m sure it’s just pre-wedding anxiety.”- mom didn’t reply, she just stared at me and cut me a warm smile.

- “So what do you wanna play tonight?”- Mikey held a bunch of games and stared at us expectantly- “Catan for old days? Exploding kittens? Jenga?”

- “Anything but Scrabble”- Frank grabbed a beer and sat next to me- “Sorry, but playing with you, nugget, is the worst thing ever.”- I just shook my head and sighed.

- “I’m not really in the mood for games. Can we just… do nothing?”

- “Oh come on, peanut! It’s your last weekend as a single woman! Next Friday we are gonna be at the rehearsing dinner”- Phoenix stood behind me and shook my shoulders. His words weren’t meant to hurt, but they did. I didn’t want to think about the wedding. I still didn’t know if I wanted to marry Reid. And I still didn’t want to think about it.

- “How about a nice round of Uno and then we can watch a movie?”- Lu suggested and smiled at me- “Something you like, filled with gore and maybe zombies.”

- “A movie sounds nice.”- I replied and watched Mikey shuffling the cards- “Are you going out tonight?”- I asked my brother, who sat at the table with us and sipped his beer.

- “And miss all this fun? No way!”- he chuckled and looked at me for a few seconds more than usual. And I hated knowing he had realized there was something wrong with me. I was glad he didn’t ask anything though, ‘cos I didn’t want to share my relationship issues with him. Not that I didn’t trust him, I just knew he would get super mad at Reid, and probably in his “older brother mode,” which mostly meant threatening to punch him for breaking my heart.

Mom and dad kept talking, god knows about what, as me and my friends- plus my brother- kept playing Uno, and somehow, I even had fun. Until the bell rang and I felt a chill run down my spine because I knew who was standing at the door. You didn’t need to be a genius to figure it out.

Dad stood up to answer and I looked at my friends. They all knew what was coming, and I guess we were all trying to figure out how to avoid any argument in front of everybody.

- “Peanut, your husband is here!”- dad announced and tapped on Spencer’s back as they walked to us, waving awkwardly. I don’t think he thought everybody was going to be there that night.

I stood up and did the only thing that made sense: I tried to keep Spencer from talking with my family.

- “Hey, let’s go inside.”- I grabbed his arm, ready to drag him back into the house, but Phoenix stopped me.

- “My new brother!! Long time no see! Have a beer with me!”- Spencer looked at him and then at me. I tried to beg him with my eyes not to do anything stupid and for a second, I thought he had understood.

- “Hey Phoenix, nice to see you. I didn’t know you were in town.”

- “I asked for the entire week free for my little sister’s wedding.”- he answered proudly- “Besides, I am waiting for your bachelor party!”

- “I’m planning that!”- Frank announced, I don’t know if he was serious or if that was his way to help me. It worked though, Phoenix turned to my friend and started asking what he had planned, and I dragged Spencer into the house in a second.

- “What are you doing here?”- I closed the kitchen door, trying to get some privacy.

- “Sorry, I didn’t know you had company.”- he said and opened his satchel- “I just stopped by to give you these.”- he took a few envelopes and put them in my hand. I stared at them not getting what he was doing. So I stared at him and raised my eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

- “I know you are not going to believe me when I tell you I haven’t taken a drop of Dilaudid since you helped me recover, but I hope these will help you see how sober I am.”

- “What are these?”

- “All the drug tests I managed to get done in these few days. There are urine, hair, and saliva drug tests in there. They are all negative.”- I stayed still, staring at those envelopes for a few seconds, maybe minutes because it felt forever. And Spencer kept his eyes on me the entire time. Waiting for my reaction.

- “What do you want me to do now?”- I asked him finally- “Read the results and trust you again?”

- “These are proof I didn’t do drugs, I didn’t lie.”

- “You did lie, you got the fucking drugs in the first place. You felt like you could start using it again and never told me about it. Why?”

Spencer opened his mouth, but no word came from it. He just stared at me with watered-up eyes, trying to gather his thoughts.

- “Fine, you never used it, but you bought it. You went behind my back and for a moment, you actually considered using it. You also never got rid of it. Until I found it, that shit was still in your jacket, ready for another moment of weakness.”

- “Chipmunk, that’s not what happened! Yes, I was weak and bought it, but as soon as I was home alone, ready to use it…”- Spencer wanted to tell her he had stopped because he realized it was a mistake. But the truth was, he stopped because Frank interrupted him.

- “Why didn’t you trust me? Why did you keep it to yourself? We’ve been a team for so many years! Way before we started dating! I’ve always been there for you, you’ve always shared how you felt with me! Why did you stop?”- I tried not to yell, but failed. I had been trying to control my feelings and my thoughts for two days already, and I couldn’t do it any longer.

- “I… I didn’t want to look weak in front of you.”- he confessed as tears started falling down his eyes- “I didn’t want you to think you had a weak boyfriend.”

- “I would have rather have an honest boyfriend”- I threw the envelopes on the kitchen island and stared at him, making my best effort not to cry.- “Now how do I trust you again?”

- “I am so sorry”- he murmured as he started sobbing. It broke my heart to look at him like that. He just closed his eyes and cried in front of me, knowing there was nothing he could say that might fix what he had done.

- “I didn’t ask you that question to make you feel bad. I asked you ‘cos I really want to know”- my chin quivered as I said those words- “How can I trust you again, Spencer? After you broke my heart? How can I marry you? How can I know you won’t do it again?”

- “Peanut?”- I turned around and looked at my dad frowning. Next to him was my brother. And behind them, mom and my friends. They were all staring at the show.

- “Can you just leave us alone?”- I whispered and my friends quickly disappeared. But my family didn’t even move.

- “What the hell is going on here? Why are you crying?”- Phoenix walked toward me and stood in front of Spencer, looking intimidating. I even wondered if he was still carrying his gun with him.

- “We were just talking”- I tried to explain and make lights off of the whole deal, but we were both crying and we had yelled, which clearly they had all heard.

- “What the fuck did you do to my sister?”- my brother didn’t even try to have a conversation, he pushed Spencer back, and I quickly grabbed him and kept him away from Reid.

- “Stop, stop, he didn’t do anything.”

- “(Y/N), you are crying and yelling you are never going to trust him again, obviously he broke your heart!”- my brother argued and turned to Reid again- “What the fuck did you do? Did you cheat on her? ‘Cos if you did, I’m gonna fucking kill you, and I’m not even kidding!”

- “Stop! Phoenix!”- I stood in front of Spencer and tried to shield him from any attack from my older brother.

- “This is between the two of us, it doesn’t involve any of you! So just get out!”- I tried to sound firm, but instead, my voice broke and I sounded pathetic.

- “Peanut…”- dad said and looked at me concerned.

- “Chief (Y/L/N), Phoenix, I didn’t cheat on her, but I did break her trust.”- Spencer whispered as he tried to stop crying- “A few years back…”- and I cut him right there.

- “They don’t have to know what happened.”

- “But I wanna tell them, chipmunk. I love you, and I am ashamed of what happened. I want you to forgive me, and I want your family to forgive me for making you cry too.”

His words moved me, and I couldn’t say another word. I just stared at him wiping off the tears from his face as he stood in front of my dad and brother, confessing the one thing I never wanted either of them to know.

- “A few years ago I was kidnapped and tortured by an unsub. His name was Tobias Hankel. He was delusional and had split personalities. He drugged me for days, as a way to help me survive his torture. That’s how I got hooked on Dilaudid. I struggled to quit for a few months after I was back to work. I had never used any substance before, and I don’t think I would have been able to quit if it wasn’t for (Y/N).”

Spencer paused his words and looked down at his hands for a moment. I knew that wasn’t a subject that came easy for him to speak about, and I felt awfully guilty to know he was telling my family about it because he didn’t want them to think he had cheated on me.

- “She was the only one who worried about me enough to show me how much I was hurting people with my behavior. And she even took time off work to help me rehab. I was already in love with her back then, but after that, I knew she was the only drug I wanted to be hooked on for the rest of my life.”

Wow, I surely didn’t see that kind of confession coming. He actually loved me even back then?

- “But a few months ago, when we found out our friend Prentiss had died, I had a moment of weakness and got Dilaudid again behind her back. I felt useless and hurt. And for a split second, I thought drugs were the way to cope with my pain. But I stopped. I didn’t use a drop.”

- “Spencer, please don’t”- I whispered and he shook his head.

- “No, Chipmunk. I want them to know, ‘cos I know I fucked up, but you made me better once, and you stopped me from using again. I love you and I knew you deserved a better man. Not a drug addict. So I didn’t use the drugs I got and crawled back to her arms.”

No one said a word. I’m sure no one saw it coming, not even close. Phoenix was clearly confused, and my dad was shocked. I wanted to hold Spencer’s hand for courage but stopped myself. I was still mad at him, even after that confession.

- “But, as you can imagine, you can’t hide anything from a profiler, and she found out what I had done. Now I am here begging for mercy because I can’t picture life without her. I know I broke her trust and she is mad at me, but I’ll wait forever if there is a chance she takes me back.”

I looked at him and he cut me a short, sad smile.

- “I can not be without you, matter of fact”- he whispered, and my chest tightened. I just stared at him and felt my heart beating as hard as it could go.

- “Spencer, I think you should leave”- that was all my father said. I looked at him confused, I thought after Spencer’s confession he would be nicer to him, but no. Apparently, that wasn’t enough for either him or my brother.

Reid nodded and started walking. He looked at me and waved as I just stood there, motionless

- “I’m sorry to bother you.”- that was all he said before he walked away. Mom followed him to the door as I stood in the middle of the kitchen, not knowing what to do.

- “Are you ok?”- dad asked and I shook my head- “Come here peanut, let’s have a talk.”

Dad held my hand and guided me back outside, where I had left my drink. I grabbed it and drank the entire thing without even breathing. I had never needed a drink as much as I did that minute. My friends looked at me from the side and cut me a sympathetic smile. Dad just walked toward me and asked:

- “After all I heard, I only have one question for you: Do you still wanna marry Doctor Reid?”

I opened my mouth to answer as I stared at him. I only nodded and broke into tears. No matter how hurt I was, I loved Spencer. He was the best person I had ever met, and I couldn’t just let him go. I had waited for him for so long, and now that I had him, could I let him go due to drugs? I knew I was mad at him, I knew I had said I couldn’t trust him… but I loved Spencer more than I loved life itself. I didn’t want to go through life without him.

Dad opened his arms and hugged me. And for once, I didn’t argue or even struggled. I just let him embrace me and wrap me in his arms. I didn’t even notice when I started crying, I just realized when mom handed me a kleenex box.

- “I’m so mad at him, dad, but I love him so much”- I mumbled and he just nodded.

- “I know, peanut, I know.”

- “Please don’t hate him!”

- “Come on, how could I? Did you see what that kid just did? He faced your entire family just to make sure we all knew he didn’t cheat on you.”- I looked at him and dad ran his fingers across my cheeks, wiping off the tears that kept falling.

- “But… he just told you he had a drug problem and you kicked him out.”

- “Because I wanted to talk to you. He loves you, you love him. You made him a better man and he gives you joy”- dad smiled at me and looked right into my eyes- “I’ve loved Spencer from day one not only because he was clearly in love with you, but because he made you happy. You loved him way before you even admitted it. He always took care of you out there, on the field. And I know he would die just to keep you safe.”

- “Dad…”- I argued ‘cos I felt embarrassed, but he continued his speech.

- “Yes, he is fucked up, and he made a huge mistake, but he loves you. Not just with words, but with acts.”

- “I know, dad.”- I managed to mumble.

- “And believe me, I know it’s hard to trust someone who broke your heart, but it’s easier when it’s someone who is willing to do anything he can to rebuild that trust.”

- “But what if he fucks up again?”- I whispered and looked down at my hands. Mom walked over and wrapped an arm around my waistline, moving me closer to her.

- “My baby. You don’t know that. Even if you hadn’t had this argument with Spencer, you would had never known if he was ever going to fail you. When you love someone, you can only give them your heart and wish he never fails you.”

It was odd hearing my divorce parents giving me couple’s advices. But I always knew they got along after their divorce, and somehow, in a very weird, personal way, they still loved each other.

- “Besides, I’m pretty sure he knows if he breaks your heart, I’m gonna kill him.”- Phoenix added and lighted another cigarette.

- “I’m not sure he knows you don’t wanna kill him now.”- I pointed out and poured myself another drink.

- “That’s the idea. He has to live in complete fear. Never tell him I’m happy you are gonna marry him.”- my brother winked and I frowned confused.

My whole family now knew Spencer had drug issues in the past. And no one actually cared. Why? Was it because they all thought highly best of him? Because they all knew just how much he loved me?

My family was well aware of how much Spencer loved me, and they all gave us their blessing, in a very odd and awkward way.

Spencer’s point of view

Saturday morning found me awake, sitting on the floor of the apartment, surrounded by books. I didn’t sleep at all the night before. I just tried to keep myself busy reading to avoid thinking and overanalyzing what had happened. But I knew I was screwed.

(Y/N)’s parents were now aware I was a drug addict, and that I had failed their daughter. There was no way our wedding was ever going to happen now. I was sure. So I just stared around the apartment we had shared for a few months, thinking I should have known better from the start. When had I ever been this happy? It was clear this bliss was not meant for me. It had never had, and I would never be.

I noticed the sun was already shining outside my windows, a few rays of light sneaking between the curtains. I groaned and didn’t move from my spot against the wall. The floor was cold and uncomfortable, but I didn’t think I deserved better. I grabbed the book I had been re-reading for the hundredth time that night: (Y/N)’s copy of Pride and Prejudice. I held it close to my chest, like I dreamt of doing with her, and closed my eyes.

Time didn’t seem to pass fast enough, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have anything to do or anywhere to go. I didn’t even move to make myself a cup of coffee. I just held that book with my life and sat on the floor. Until a sound on the door made me jump. It was a key opening the lock. I whipped my head and held my breath. Slowly, the door opened and (Y/N)’s silhouette appeared by the frame. She looked around, searching for something.

- “Hey”- I whispered from my spot and slowly stood up. (Y/N) walked in and closed the door behind her back. She stayed still in the middle of the room not saying a word. I glued my eyes to her, not knowing what to say. Why was she there? To pick us her stuff? If that was the case, I didn’t want to stay around.

- “What happened here?”- she questioned me and pointed at the mess I had created.

- “I… needed to… couldn’t find a book”- that was my lousy explanation.

- “And then a tornado crushed the entire place”- she added and I smiled looking down, embarrassed.

- “Yeah, something like that.”

There was a weird silence among us. I didn’t know what to say. Until the smell of coffee captured all my senses and I noticed she was carrying a tray.

- “I brought you breakfast”- she whispered and slowly moved to the kitchen, the only place that was safe from the mess I had created. I followed her in silence and watched her unpack two cups of coffee, a bagel, and a muffin.

- “Thank you”- I replied as she gave me all the food. She just sipped her cup of coffee and looked at me. I grabbed the bagel and took a bite. Just then I realized I hadn’t eaten in over a day. I had survived only on coffee and herbal tea.

She didn’t comment on it, but I’m sure she noticed I was starving. Probably that’s why she bought my favorite breakfast. I chewed in silence. She held her cup of coffee with both hands and didn’t say a word for a few minutes. Until she whispered:

- “Ok, now we can talk."

And I immediately choke on my bagel.

I coughed and drank a sip of my coffee, trying to recover my breath.

- “Are you ok?”- she asked and started hitting me in the back right in the middle of the shoulder blades.

- “Yes… thank you.”- I cleared my throat and (Y/N) gave me a glass of water, one I drank rather quickly.

- “Sure?”

- “Yeah, just…”- I cut her a short smile as finished my water.- “So you wanna talk, finally.”- (Y/N) nodded and put her coffee down. I stared at her, resting against the counter just staring at her hands for a few minutes. I was scared, terrified actually, of her decision, but I was willing to find out just to stop the pain and the agony of the unknown.

- “Yes.”- (Y/N) whispered and took a deep breath- “I’m sorry.”

My heart broke with those words. She was apologizing ‘cos she was about to end things for good. I stared at her, fighting the tears back, and lowered my eyes.

- “I’m sorry I ran from you all these days, but I just couldn’t find a way to talk to you. I was beyond mad at you. You lied to me and went behind my back.”- she enumerated my mistakes as I simply heard her sentencing my fate.

- “I understand.”- that was all I managed to say.

- “You have no idea how I felt when I discovered that bottle, Spencer.”- she continued talking and I glued my eyes to my feet as she did- “I was hurt and disappointed. You broke my heart.”

- “I’m sorry.”- I mumbled and felt how the tears started falling from my eyes, soaking my cheeks.

- “Why did you do it?”- I just shook my head at her question.

- “I don’t know.”

- “Yes, you do. You said you didn’t want me to think I had a weak boyfriend.”- she added and I whipped off the tears from my cheeks. Not the strongest action against that statement, I must add.

- “I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you needed.”- I murmured. And that was all I managed to say.

- “I never asked you to be anything, Spencer. I just wanted you to love me.”

- “And I love you! so much!”- my words sounded so pathetic as I spoke the out loud. It was so hard to maintain that conversation, ‘cos I just wanted to hug (Y/N) and burst into tears. But she remained still, standing against the counter, arms crossed on her chest.

- “Then why couldn’t you tell me the truth? Why did you go behind my back?”- (Y/N) questioned me and I heard her voice break as she did. I was too ashamed to look her in the eyes and explain everything.

- “I… I don’t know! ‘Cos you deserved better than a wreak boyfriend who kept thinking about using drugs to avoid the pain of losing a friend, and the terror of not being good enough to keep you safe!”

I ended up confessing and grabbed my coffee cup. It was too early to drink, though it felt like a good time for a whisky. But the coffee should be enough.

- “I was so scared this could ever happen!”- (Y/N) sobbed after a few seconds, and I finally looked at her.

Her eyes were red, filled with tears. She wrapped her own arms around her waist, holding herself the way I wanted to hold her. It hurt to look at her in so much pain. A pain I knew I had inflected.

- “I never imagined it would be this bad, but I was scared that us dating would affect what we had before.”- (Y/N) mumbled. I stared at her in silence, not getting what she was talking about.

- “When we were friends, we could tell each other anything. Everything that ever happened to us. And when we started dating I feared for a moment that might change. But then everything was perfect, and you were great, and I was happy… why couldn’t you just tell me how you felt? Why did you keep this from me?”

- “I’m so sorry”- I sobbed and heard (Y/N) whimpering. I don’t know how I managed to move from my spot, but my urges to comfort her were stronger than anything I had ever felt before.

So I held her.

I wrapped my arms around her body and moved her against me, keeping her as close as possible. I hadn’t felt her this near in days and my entire being ached for her. As corny as that sounds, it was a fact. I knew right there I was definitely never going to be able to live without her. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I needed her in more ways than I could even imagine.

- “I’m sorry too”- (Y/N) mumbled against my chest as I kept her secured in my arms.

- “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong”- I whispered and kissed the top of my head, only because I couldn’t hold myself back for a moment.

- “I’m sorry I didn’t support you when you felt bad.”- she moved from my arms and looked at me, and those pretty eyes were so honest and painfully beautiful, I just stared at her speechless.

- “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the girlfriend you deserve. I got mad and yelled, and I refused to talk to you… I shouldn’t had.”

I cupped her face with both my hands and ran my thumbs down her cheeks, cleaning her soft skin from any tear that fell from her eyes. She wasn’t joking, she was sorry for real. And I couldn’t even begin to explain how wrong she was for apologizing over something like that.

- “You didn’t do anything wrong, chipmunk. I was the one who ruined everything.”- I whispered, but she shook her head, ready to argue with me.

- “You didn’t feel like telling me what was wrong. That was my fault as well.”- she replied and bit her lower lip, trying not to cry.

- “Never say that again. None of this was your fault. I was weak, and I didn’t want to be a burden.”

- “You felt like you couldn’t tell me something. That has to be in part my fault.”- I shook my head and lost myself in her eyes, as she looked at me, pleading for forgiveness, even when she shouldn’t- “I hurt you, honey bunny. I will never forgive myself for that.”

- “Please, don’t say that.”- I kissed her forehead as tears blurred my vision- “You were nothing but wonderful to me every day we were together.”- I whispered and felt staring at her in adoration as she wide opened her eyes and gasped.

- “We… were together?”- she muttered and tears filled her eyes as she stared right at me.

- “I… you.. when we…”- why was it so hard for me to put myself together around her?- “I… I understand if you don’t want to…”

- “But I want to”- her whisper was a ray of hope that hit and woke me, filling me with an energy I hadn’t felt ever since I lost her.

- “You… still love me?”- I asked her and she nodded right away. I smiled at her, feeling my eyes fill with tears. I leaned in and rested my forehead against hers as her hands clinging around my neck. My heart was beating so hard inside my chest, finally, I felt alive again.

- “And do you still want to marry me?”- I whispered, still a little scared of her answer.

- “I do, if you want to.”- (Y/N) answered and smiled at me for a second, looking incredibly nervous of my answer.

- “I want to, so much”- I quickly replied and crushed my lips against her instantly. I held her even closer, if possible, and kissed her with all the passion and love I could, rubbing my lips against her and slipping my tongue into her mouth in a second. I didn’t want to waste time. I couldn’t hold myself. I felt that my sould was back inside my body, and my heart was finally complete. She loved me, she was going to marry me. She wasn’t going to leave my side.

- “I love you so much, (Y/N)”- I murmured against her lips. I kept both my hands on her cheeks, scared she might realize she was making a mistake and could try to escape from me. But instead. She tangled her fingers in my hair and moaned.

- “I love you, I love you”- she repeated as she continued kissing me. I moved my hands from her face to her waist and lifted her, sitting her on the counter. She gasped and giggled as I did, never breaking the kiss for longer than a few seconds to catch our breath.

I rested my hands on her waist and kept them there as we kissed. It was passionate, but still very sweet. I wanted everything of her, I had missed her kisses, her body, her presence, and her entire being. I didn’t know how to take it all in again, I just knew I needed to catch up on every kiss I had missed during our fight.

- “I promise I’m never keeping anything from you again”- I whispered and she nodded. She continued kissing me, as her hands caressed my cheeks softly.

- “I promise I’ll be more supportive. You can tell me anything.”- she mumbled and then started kissing my neck. My weakest spot.- “I’ll be the best wife you ever dreamed of.”

I couldn’t answer that, I just groaned and kissed her deeper. My hands moved slowly from her waist to the gem of her t-shirt and started taking it off. And that’s when she stopped me.

- “Wait.”- she gasped for air and held both my hands.

- “What is it?”- I tried to kiss her neck, but she moved from me.

- “I want us to wait.”

- “Wait for what?”- I think all the blood in my body was focused on my lower half, ‘cos I was being really dumb.

- “Wait to have sex again, until we are married.”- (Y/N) explained and I was in shock.

- “B… but.. What… why?”- I mumbled and widened my eyes, staring at her. (Y/N) blushed and bit her lips, making it even harder for me to control myself. I was dying to bite her lips as well.

- “It’s just a week. And I think if we wait to do it again until we are married, it would make it all more special.”

I stared at her, trying to make sense of what she was saying. All I needed that minute was to feel her body against mine and to kiss every inch of her skin. I had missed her, I craved for her. And she wanted me to wait for an entire week?!

- “Don’t you think?”- (Y/N) asked and raised an eyebrow. I kept trying to find the right words to tell her how I felt, but I still felt like walking around eggshells with her. So I sighed and nodded.

- “Sure. It will make it more special.”

I was doomed.

- “I know it’s gonna be hard, honey bunny. I’ve missed you so much all these days we’ve been apart”- (Y/N) kissed me softly, and sucked my lower lip as she parted from me- “But just imagine how hot our wedding night is gonna be.”

- “So hot”- I whispered and kissed her fiercely one more time. I moved my hand underneath her t-shirt and she stopped me right before I could reach her bra.

- “I told you, honey bunny. I wanna wait.”

- “But I don’t think I can wait.”- I kissed her neck and she giggled as I did. She wrapped her arms around my neck, stopping my advances as she stared at me. I sighed and looked into her eyes. She wasn’t kidding.

- “Trust me, this is not easy for me either. But…”- her hands held my cheeks, stopping me from kissing her neck any longer. She just looked me in the eyes and smiled- “But it’s just for a few days.”

- “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to hold myself sleeping with you for the next few days and not touching you, ma cherie.”- I whispered and my fingers played with her soft skin underneath her shirt. She bit her lower lip staring at me with an innocent look in her eyes.

- “I know, me neither. That’s why I won’t be sleeping with you until our wedding night.”

My balls turned blue in a second.

I stopped and frowned. She was smiling mischievously. She knew what she was doing to me, and she was enjoying it.

- “But… why?”- I whispered. (Y/N) started caressing my hair, playing with my scalp and with my hair between her fingers. I hummed and nearly melted at her touch, as I waited for her answer.

- “We are going to spend the rest of our lives together, honey. I want you to miss me a little before the big day, that way, you won’t get tired of me that quickly.”

I shook my head as I heard her and rested my forehead against hers for a second.

- “I would never get tired of you, I swear.”- my voice was a whisper. I knew I was pleading, but she couldn’t just come and deny me what I was craving the most: her.

- “Come on, let’s go out. We have to pick up your tux.”- she said and kissed the top of my nose. (Y/N) jumped from the counter and grabbed my hand. Cleary, that was a fight I was never going to win, and maybe she still wanted to torture me for what I had done to her. And maybe, she was right.

- “Saturday night, we are gonna leave that party early”- I warn her and hear her giggling- “I am not going to be able to keep my hands off you.”

- “Are you that needy, honey?”- she teases and crawls me out of the kitchen.

- “Yes”- I mumble and feel how my pants are immediately tighter. Again.

- “But you have to be a good boy until next friday”- she replies and winks- “Now, let’s clean this mess and then we’ll pick your tux, ok?”

Morgan would have made fun of me, ‘cos I was whipped. And he was right. It was no secret, I would do anything and everything I could to make (Y/N) happy.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

WIBTA if i don’t directly voice my concerns?

I (18NB) am a bit into my first year at college. i have two roommates- one of them (J, 19F) is wonderful and honestly one of my best friends here. the other (M, 18?NB) i don’t have much in common with but is overall a chill person. except for one thing.

both J and i have noticed a bunch of little things around our dorm- dishes piling up or disappearing (especially cutlery, which frustrates me bc i bought it), the water pitcher being left out or nearly empty, the microwave being stopped with 2-3 seconds still on it (petty yes but it bugs us) the toilet seat being left up (M is the only amab), notes asking for someone to take out the trash (if you have time to leave a note why not do it yourself?) and, probably worst of all, our door is often left unlocked, including at night. since neither of us were doing these things (plus times we had directly witnessed it), we concluded it had to be M.

M also does a couple things that violate the actual rules of living in our hall- they’ll bring people in on short notice or without notice (while i’m normally fine with this, having a space to myself is really important to me and i like knowing if someone will come in), and also take distracting phone calls even when we’re studying (i usually turn up my headphones to drown out the noise)

a couple weeks ago J and i brought these up in our roommate group chat disguised as a “check-in” to prevent M from feeling ganged up on. we all set boundaries and agreed to work on them.

some of these did improve! our pitcher is filled more (though i have started seeing it nearly empty again lately), less dishes get left out (i’m still missing some of my cutlery though), and we all have assigned chores for each week.

but a lot of it hasn’t. our door, for example, still gets left unlocked a ton. not only am i too paranoid for that, but also we recently got an official warning about someone who was breaking into dorms at night and watching people sleep, so locking the door is extra important right now.

i want to bring this up, because i know if i don’t do anything, i’m gonna have all this built up frustration and i’m really not interested in snapping. however, when we all first moved in together, M was really set on sticking to the rules we set up and even proposed like half of them (ironic i know). it gave me the impression that if i said anything directly, i’d either hurt their feelings or accidentally put them on the defensive. i don’t wanna go to the RA about it unless i absolutely have to, either, since that’s a one-way ticket to grudge town and the dorm really doesn’t need that tension (i will as a last resort if J and i agree it’s necessary, though.)

i’ve been thinking of finding subtle ways to encourage M to follow the rules more- maybe a sticky note on the door saying “don’t forget to lock me!” or something like that. i could explain that as a reminder for myself and avoid any animosity that way.

however, i also know i’m a bit too conflict avoidant and i really really really don’t want to be petty. that said, i want to resolve the situation with as little bitterness as possible, and if this doesn’t work, i’ll try to get myself to actually be assertive. so uhhh. WIBTA if i try to indirectly encourage my roommate to respect our boundaries?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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areyoudreaminof · 3 months

Text

The First Annual Starfall Snipe Hunt: Chapter 1

Nyx is ready for the best Starfall ever! His cousins are coming in from the Day Court for two weeks of fun. But when Papa and Uncle Cass suggest something called a Snipe Hunt, Nyx doesn’t know what to think. Will this be the best Starfall ever? Or the worst?

Nyx gave his room one last look, making sure any loose clothes were safely hidden in the closet. He wasn’t exactly sure why he had to clean his room every single time his cousins visited, but his parents insisted. Scanning the carpet and desk, Nyx thought it looked clean enough. They would all be too busy to hang around in his room anyways.

He flung open the door, checking the clock as he raced down the hall, one minute and thirty seconds until they were scheduled to winnow in. Nyx took the shortcut through the kitchens, skidding out into the garden with fifty nine seconds to spare. Mama was waiting there, a giddy smile on her face.

“It feels like we haven’t seen them in so long.” Mama breathed with excitement as she bounced on her toes. Nyx grinned broadly, “Me too. And it’s Froggy’s first Starfall! She was sick last year, remember?”

Mama laughed, “She’s been to two Starfall’s already, Nyx.”

“Yeah, but she was a baby, Mama. She’s old enough to know what’s going on now!” Nyx scoffed. He did remember when Froggy tried catching the falling stars in her chubby baby fists those first two years. Last year, she got some sort of fever, so Cricket and High Lord Helion came by themselves, and only for the night. Nyx and Cricket had fun, but they felt a bit guilty about it.

“Can the girls and I get our own balcony this year?” Nyx asked, breathless.

“We‘ll see.” Papa said out of nowhere. He seemed to have winnowed in when Nyx wasn’t paying attention. Papa looked at the small pocket watch in his hand. “Thirty seconds.”

The booming flap of wings sounded from above them. A large shadow blocked Nyx’s view as he heard Aunt Nesta’s voice ring out, “Just in time!” Nyx could see she was still dressed in her training leathers as Uncle Cass set her down.

“Sorry we’re late.” she said as she gave Nyx a kiss on his forehead. “We got wrapped up with some training.”

Uncle Cass was breathing hard as he drew his wings in slowly. “I don’t think I’ve flown down that fast in my life.” he whispered to Nyx, exaggerating breaths huffing in his chest.

“Ten seconds.” Papa said with a grin.

It had been two long months since Nyx saw his cousins last, when they visited the Day Court for three whole weeks. Nyx and the girls spent the whole time going to festivals and the beach, and getting into mischief. He got to train with Uncle Lucien and Helion, and got to visit the Lady of Day, who Nyx called Grandmother. He made some friends with some boys his age too, and he had been writing to them frequently.

The Day Court was incredible, but there was always something fun about the girls coming to the Night Court, no matter how often they visited.

He felt a buzzing in the air and in his fingertips. It was time. Nyx held his breath as he blinked. Then, he launched himself forward, crashing into his cousins for a hug.

“Nyxie!”

With a tangle of limbs, Nyx had managed to hug Cricket around her neck, while Froggy had jumped up like a spider monkey and locked her legs around his waist. Giggles and screams sounded out through the garden as the cousins greeted each other.

“How come you’re taller than me now?” Cricket exclaimed, as she stood on her toes. Her short, curly red hair added a good inch to her height, but Nyx had grown a bit since he last saw her.

“All that training I guess.” Nyx hummed.

“You live in the library, but you keep telling yourself that.” She teased brightly, as she ran off to his parents for hugs and kisses.

“I missed you so much, Nyxie!” Froggy squealed as she smacked a big kiss on his cheek. Her sheet of dark golden hair was tied up with a sparkly yellow ribbon. She was tiny, but smarter than Nyx and Cricket combined.

“I missed you too! Are you excited for Starfall?” Nyx asked as he set her down.

“Oh, yes!” she said, bouncing on her toes. She opened her mouth to say something else, but Uncle Cass swooped in and snatched her up. Froggy squealed out another set of giggles. “There’s my little cupcake!” He roared as he threw her into the air.

He gave his Aunt Elain a big hug, savoring her honey and floral scent as she kissed him. He threw his arms around Uncle Lucien. “I’ve been practicing my combat forms!” he said, with excitement, “I’m getting pretty good at close combat.”

Uncle Lucien beamed, “Are you now? Sword or spear?”

“Sword! But only because we don’t have spears at the training ring.” Nyx said, he swooped down into a crouch, extending his arms into a strike. Uncle Lucien dodged but Nyx caught his arm before Uncle Lucien could really block the strike. Uncle Lucien laughed as he ruffled Nyx’s hair and pulled him in for another hug.

Finally reunited, the family made their way into the house. Nyx grabbed Aunt Elain’s bag to help take upstairs to the guest rooms with Uncle Lucien, while his father took the girls by the hand, leading them inside to the living room.

“Are Aunt Mor and Aunt Emerie here? ” Cricket asked without stopping to breathe. “What about Uncle Az and Aunt Gwyn?”

“Aunt Mor and Emerie are finishing up closing the shop in Illyria, Cuddlebug.” Mama said. “And Gwyn and Az will be here tomorrow too. They’re doing some extra work at the camps.” Nyx noticed his parents shooting worried looks at each other. Uncle Azriel and Aunt Gwyn had been keeping a close eye on Illyria, going up for missions frequently.

“Is Amren here too?” Froggy asked, ever the polite little lady who refused to let anyone be left out.

“She’s joining after dinner.” His father said as they all took their places on the sofas and chairs. Turning to Uncle Lucien, he asked. “How was the winnow? Are you feeling alright?”

Uncle Lucien shrugged, “It was fine. I think leaving the dog at home made a difference.”

Nyx now noticed that Cricket’s large smoke hound wasn’t with them. “You left Trajan behind?” he asked Cricket, who had flopped down on the sofa next to him.

“Yeah. It’s hard to winnow with all of us. And he keeps barfing when we take him. So, he’s with Grandmother and Grandpapa. When they come up here, Master Dimitriou will take care of him.” Cricket replied with some sadness.

She was so attached to the hound, that he slept in her bed and followed her everywhere at the Day Court. Her Uncle Eris, the High Lord of Autumn had gifted her the pup a few years ago. Now, Froggy waited patiently for a hound of her own.

“He’ll be okay.” Nyx said, patting her shoulder. Cricket gave a little smirk, before she changed the subject.

“We’re staying two weeks. What’s the plan?” She asked with sneaky grin.

“I think we’ll just hang around until Starfall. Then Uncle Cass and Aunt Nesta are gonna do some training with the Valkyries and we’re allowed to go.” Cricket rubbed her hands together excitedly.

“Mama said she and Aunt Mor are taking us all to the Rainbow too at some point.” He racked his brain, trying to think of what else had been planned. “Froggy, I think Aunt Gwyn wanted to show you some new stuff from the library?”

“You can come with me to class, too.” Mama said.

“We’ll take it all day by day, like we always do.” Aunt Elain hummed, before she excused herself into the kitchen. Probably to see the twins, Nyx guessed.

“Well, in a few nights, Rhys and I will take you children out on a snipe hunt.” Uncle Cass announced loudly.

Cricket and Nyx whipped their heads around, while Froggy, who had been cuddled between Uncle Cass and Aunt Nesta, looked up at him with big, curious eyes.

“A what hunt?” Cricket asked incredulously, her nose wrinkling in utter confusion.

“A snipe hunt.” Papa replied, “It’s something we did in Illyria as boys, and you’re old enough.”

“What’s a snipe?” Nyx asked incredulously.

“Just a nocturnal animal. A little feral, but they’re fun to hunt. Hard to catch.”

“I didn’t know they had snipes this far north.” Uncle Lucien said with a smirk. Aunt Nesta and Mama looked confused, while Uncle Cass and Papa just grinned. “We can talk about it later.” Papa said, turning his attention to the twins, who had glided in to announce dinner.

——————————————————————

“What’s a snipe anyways?” Cricket whispered over the din of the adults. “I’ve never heard of them.”

Nyx shrugged, “I don’t know. Papa said they were in Illyria but I never saw them at the camps the entire time I was there. And I definitely never heard of them. There were lots of owls though.”

“Do you think they’re even real? Or are they just teasing us? Uncle Cass does this all the time.” Cricket grumbled as she tore apart a roll, slapping a thick pad of butter in the middle. “Remember when he told us those kebabs at the Children’s Festival were made of dogmeat after we each ate two?”

“Yeah, but your grandfather was in on it too,” Nyx replied. “and he made it worse by saying they were puppies.”

“You think he’s getting us back for the library prank?” Cricket asked as she eyed Uncle Cass with wariness.

“Maybe. He hasn’t mentioned it since.” Nyx and Cricket may have heard that Cassian was terrified of something that had lived in the library. So they might have lured him down a level or two and jumped out and scared him, and they possibly made Uncle Cass scream.

It was hilarious, but Nyx and Cricket had been punished the rest of the week, cleaning the kitchen and the studio after classes. Even Aunt Elain made them pull weeds for hours in every single house garden.

“If they are planning something, won’t your parents get mad?” Nyx asked, stealing a glance at Aunt Elain and Uncle Lucien who were talking and eating like nothing was wrong.

“Papa will probably think it’s funny, whatever it is.” Cricket hissed. “I fell off Meallan’s back last week and landed in manure and Papa laughed about it for days and told everyone .” Nyx held back a snort, choosing to cough instead, “Were you hurt?” he asked.

“No, but there was poop in my hair and in my ears and all down my clothes! Do you know how many baths I had to take to get the stink off?” she stuffed half of the roll into her mouth as her face reddened with embarrassment. “Four!” she said, her cheeks packed in with bread. “Four baths, Nyx!”

“That’s terrible Cricket. Really.” Nyx promised, trying desperately not to laugh.

“Either way, I smell a rat. They’re up to something and I don’t like it.” Cricket mumbled as she shoved the rest of the roll into her mouth. “Go check their minds.” She ordered as she chewed.

“No! Papa knows when I slip in, plus if they’re planning something their walls will be up.” Nyx hissed. “It can’t be big, Starfall is in two days. It’s probably silly. We just have to be on our guard.”

“Speaking of being on your guard, I wonder what terrible outfit Aunt Mor got us for Starfall.” Cricket snickered. Nyx shuddered.

Last year's ruffled monstrosity was a velvet suit with breeches that cut off above the knee in a jeweled purple color. Cricket got stuck with a frilly pink thing that looked more like a cake than a dress, and clashed horribly with her red hair. Only little Froggy made it out unscathed.

But the children were stuck wearing whatever Aunt Mor got them. She was fun and silly, but she had terrible taste in clothes, Nyx thought.

On his left, Froggy pushed food around her plate in silence. Nyx didn’t need to slip into her mind to tell she was nervous.

“You don’t want your mashed sweet potatoes, Froggy?” he asked her with a little nudge. “I was going to give you mine.”

“I’m not hungry.” she mumbled, not meeting his eyes. “My tummy hurts.”

“Don’t listen to Papa or Uncle Cass. They’re just being stupid.” Nyx said with assurance. “And if there’s ever danger, I’ll fly you away and Cricket will kick their butts!” Cricket gave a little punch to the air to emphasize his point.

Froggy halfheartedly laughed, but didn’t say anything as she pushed her food around her plate.

“We’re getting to the bottom of this,” Cricket hissed, as her russet eyes blazed with that look. The one that meant she was planning something.

“Let’s do it.” Nyx said, but not before he booped his baby cousin on the nose. “We can scare them first,” He whispered as Froggy giggled.

Flesh eating animals didn’t live in the woods, Nyx though. Right?

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#ACOTAR #next gen #Rhys and Cassian try to beat the kids at their own game #here’s some fluff for your weekend

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winchesterszvonecek · 5 months

Note

“ you know, i talk to a lot of people every single day. i hear all their voices telling me all kinds of stuff; i hear it all. and the only voice i really wanna listen to is yours, you know? even when you’re driving me crazy. so come on. please… just drive me crazy again? “

Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek x fem

From The Loudest Silence Prompt List

Love your work 😊🩷

Loudest Silence - [ Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek ]

Prompt: “You know, I talk to a lot of people every single day. I hear all their voices telling me all kinds of stuff; I hear it all. And the only voice I really wanna listen to is yours, you know? Even when you’re driving me crazy. So come on. Please… Just drive me crazy again?”

Word Count: 1296

Warnings: female!reader

Masterlist | Otis Masterlist

You didn’t like shutting yourself away from people. Didn’t like having them worry about you and whether or not you were going to slip and do something they couldn’t save you from. Otis especially. You hated hiding yourself away from him but after yesterday's shift, after what you saw, what you heard, you couldn’t help but want to lock yourself away from the world. And everyone in it.

“Baby?” Otis’s soft voice called through the wood of your bedroom door, a gentle knock following behind as he waited patiently for you to respond. He knew you more than likely wouldn't, given that the door was locked, a clear indication that you wanted to be left alone, but he’d be damned if he stopped himself from trying. “Please open the door… I’m worried about you.”

A few moments of silence went by, silence in which Otis’s stomach tied itself together so tightly that it felt like he was about to be snapped in half at the waist. He couldn’t help but think the worst when he didn’t hear your soft voice reply back to him like you normally did. Even if you’d just told him to go away, he’d happily take that as at least then he knew you were semi-okay, but to get nothing but silence in return, it worried him greatly.

Otis had never seen you like this before, not even after the railroad incident where you and Mills saw that little girl scattered across the tracks, well mostly you as you shielded Mills from it given that he was barely a few months into his candidacy position and you didn’t want to him to be scarred for life so soon. You’d locked yourself away after that too but never to the point where you actually locked the door and refused to let Otis in, even though it was his bedroom too. But he never said anything about it as he didn’t care about sleeping on the couch at night. All he cared about was you and whether you were okay.

“You know…” Otis began, unsure whether this would work but he was willing to give it a try. “I talk to a lot of people every single day. We both do… I hear all their voices telling me all kinds of stuff; I hear it all. And the only voice I really wanna listen to is yours, you know? Even when you’re driving me crazy. So come on. Please… Just drive me crazy again?”

Otis was practically begging at this point. Pleading. Praying for even just the slightest noise to leave your lips. To tell him you were okay. To tell him that you just needed time to yourself. Hell even if you’d just tell him to go away or tell him off for leaving his socks on the floor again. At this point he’d take anything he could get just to know you were still with him. And as he stood there, his hands a little shaky as nothing but silence engulfed the air around him, he was fairly certain he wouldn’t get to hear anything leave your mouth except the sobs that haunted his nightmares.

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone...” Otis sighed in defeat, his forehead pressing against the door as he briefly shut his eyes. “But just remember that I love you and if you need to talk, I’m here… I’m always here.”

The click of the doors lock had Otis’s eyes snap open, his head flying back as he straightened his position. It took a few seconds of hesitation before he watched the door open in real time, and when your blotchy, tear stained face came into view, your eyes puffy and red from crying, it broke his heart more than anything ever had.

“I didn’t think you’d ever beg me to drive you crazy.” You chuckled weakly, a small, almost unnoticeable, smile appearing on your face. One no one but Otis would be able to notice and one that made all the tension in his chest slowly start to fade away as he never thought he’d ever get to see you smile again.

“At this point I’d take whatever I can get just to hear your voice.” Otis said softly and with a gentle smile as he stepped forward and across the doorway, bringing one hand up to your face where he ghosted his thumb just below your eye, feeling the dampness of your tears beneath his skin.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, your lip trembling as your eyes began to water again, making Otis close the gap between your bodies and pull yours against his, wrapping his arms tightly around you as you buried your face deep into the crook of his neck. “I didn’t mean to shut you out.”

“Don’t apologise.” Otis said soothingly, stroking the back of your hair the way he knew you liked. He turned his head a little, placing a long, lingering kiss on the side of yours as he held you, allowing you to cry in his arms rather than on your own like you had been.

“You left your socks on the floor again.” You mumbled into his neck, the hotness of your breath causing a wave of goosebumps to erupt across his skin before he pulled back just a little, having not made out what you said.

“What’s that?” He asked quietly, making you look up at him through glassy eyes.

“You left your socks on the floor.” You repeated, making the corners of his lips twitch upwards a little. “And you left the toilet seat up. Again.” You added, making him chuckle softly and shake his head a little.

“I guess I brought this on myself by asking you to drive me crazy.” He chuckled, cupping your face with both hands as he stared deeply into your eyes, the intense pain you were feeling still hidden behind the facade you were so good at putting on. “Which you don’t by the way, you could never drive me crazy… I just needed a way to get you to see me.”

“I know.” You nodded briefly, looking down before Otis lifted your face back up to eye level. “I just didn’t want to burden you with all of this.” You gestured around yourself, as though motioning to your ability to allow even the smallest of incidents to turn you into a mere shell of a person.

“Baby, you’re not burdening me… You could never burden me.” Otis said assuringly, using his thumbs to wipe away the few tears that had fallen from your eyes before he lowered his hand to take yours, bringing them up between your chests where he ran his thumb over your engagement ring. “This right here… This means that I’m here for you, no matter what. No matter how much of a burden you think you’re being, I can tell you that you’re not, otherwise I’d have never asked you to marry me.”

“I’m so lucky to have you.” You whispered, your voice breaking a little as you looked down at your joined hands, feeling the warm tears drip from your eyes and land atop your skin.

“I’m definitely the lucky one in our relationship, but I’ll take that as a compliment.” Otis chuckled, his heart warming when you returned it with a soft laugh of your own. “Now come here.” He pulled you back into his arms, allowing you to rest your head against his chest, where you could hear the beat of his heart that he often told you belonged to you. “I love you, you know that right?”

“I know.” You replied, kissing his chest, just above his heart before you rubbed your cheek against the softness of his t-shirt. “And I love you too.”

Prompt List

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demonicdames · 10 months

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A little writing project of mine that I have on A03 that I'm going to throw here to. Rated: E F/M Papa Emeritus II x F!Reader Cardinal Copia x F!Reader Chapter 5: What a surprise Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Secondo stood outside of his office door his hand hovering over the knob the words of his brother echoing in his mind sweet Lucifer he hated this he felt like he wasn't in control and that he didn't know exactly what would happen next, not having control was the worst feeling for him, finally he opened the door.

You looked up from your folders and papers standing up to greet him. "Is everything okay Sir?." You asked his cold stare on you the look making you slowly sit back down, you watched as Secondo headed back to his desk taking his seat. "Cara Mia, please come here." Standing from your desk you crossed the room standing in front of his desk hands clasped in front of yourself. "Yes Sir?."

Secondo watched you silently making you feel a little on edge, "Sir?." "This weekend you will accompany me out." He spoke his voice sounding characteristically unstable which made you arch a brow in confusion. "Accompa-." "It's business." He lied threw his teeth, you still looked confused but nodded slowly. "O-Okay?." "That is all sorella."

Nodding still weirded out by the suddenness of this weekend's business, either way, it would be time away from the Ministry out and about. Your attention went back to your work sorting and stamping the stamp having Secondo's signature on it to make things move quicker. The day seemed to move quicker, thank Lucifer that it did you still felt weird about Secondo's words when was the last time that any of the Papa's conducted business outside of the Ministry? As the day came to a close you stood outside as Secondo locked his office door his attention turning to you.

"I look forward to this weekend sorella." His hand creased your cheek leather clad thumb rubbing over your bottom lip your eyes looking up into that cold intense stare he always seemed to have that always made you feel so tiny and helpless and you hated the fact it made the little pit in your stomach start to burn as your cheeks gained a hint of pink. Secondo seemed to notice this and flashed one of his award-winning smirks. "On second thought Sorella, why not stop by my room, for a drink sì?." Those gloved fingers of his ran down along the column of your neck that smirk turning into a grin feeling your throat bounce with a swallow, head nodding unconsciously. "A drink sounds nice after a long day of work." You replied with a sweet smile as Secondo rested a hand on your lower back directing you toward his room.

From around one of the corners, Copia peeked watching as Secondo walked with you something new stirred inside of him, jealousy? was he jealous that Secondo had you all day and now probably all night? with hands shoved into his pockets, the Cardinal walked away back to his dorm room you were his best friend he should get more time with you damn it, in his mind he marched to Secondo's room and kicked open the door swept you off your feet carrying you away. In reality, though he plopped down and continued his save file on Driving Miss Daisy a bowl of melting gelato beside him.

Back in Secondo's room drinks had been forgotten the Emeritus had you pinned against the wall chest to chest his hands gripping your naked ass holding you up, your legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck his strong hips crashing into yours, condom covered cock abusing your pussy with each slam. Secondo smothered his face into your neck covering your skin in a smudgy mix of his paint and saliva. "S-Sec-Secondo!- I- I'm so close!." You gasped out. "sì sì cum for me little lamb." He panted into your ear between the angle of Secondo's thrusts and his words it all pushed you over the edge your body letting loose an orgasm that left you shaking. "Oh Cara Mia, we are just getting started." The Emeritus hummed pulling out of you and moving you to the couch giving you a shove and making you fall over the arm.

"Hey what was that-!." You gasped silently as his hand came down to rest against the back of your neck holding you down against the cushions his free hand moved to grab the base of his cock moving the organ to tap against your hard swollen clit twice before tracing your slit. Looking forward you saw a body-length mirror you could see the wild look in those mismatched eyes, the hunger the look of pure pleasure on his face as he slammed into you entirely making you scream against the cushions you watched yourself get fucked by this devil of a man. 'Fuck' was chanted from your lips each time his hips slammed into you, Secondo holding you down was setting your core a blaze soon you both came together bodies shaking as you both reached your ends the Emeritus pulled out of you his hand being pulled away from your neck as he went to dispose of the condom.

When he returned you were slipping your clothes back on and gathering your things. "Cara, what are you doing?." "Getting ready to leave." He stared at you for a good moment, oh yeah whenever you and he had your little romps you left or he told you to leave. "Unno- you could stay?.. if you. want?." Secondo spoke his voice sounding uncharacteristically unsure and slow-spoken, Your brow arched at the Emeritus as he leaned against the door frame to his bedroom or as he liked to call it his 'bed chamber'. Secondo was delighted when you slowly put your things down. "Okay- sure I suppose?." Taking a seat on the couch again Secondo tilted his head. "Dolcezza, what are you doing?." "Laying down for bed?." "No no no, you shall sleep in Il mio letto with me." You arched a brow confused. "My bed with me." "Oh!." Your face gained a hue of red. "Yes, I'd like that." Standing from the couch you headed towards his room however a hand held out stopped you from entering you looked up at him huffy what in the seven hells was up with this man?

"Mia cara clothes do not belong in the bed." That red on your face grew darker and even more so at his next word. "Strip, then join me." Turning away from you he headed to the connected bathroom to clean his face of paint, pressing your lips together in a thin line you started to do just that folding and setting your clothes aside along with all your rings and grucifix necklace. When Secondo came back from the bathroom with a clean face you had to stare he always looked so different with no holy paint on a pleased look crossing his face seeing you bare without a word he climbed into his bed the covers being lifted for you this still felt a little weird, to intimate none the less you slipped into bed your back to his chest.

A breath was sucked in through your nose as he laid an arm over you curling around your waist to bring you closer his nose nestled in your hair your face growing warm as you felt his cock against you the organ half hard. "The things you do to me." His tired gruff voice whispered against your ear sending shivers down your spine, there was something about having his strong naked body pressed up against yours and the possessive hold he had on you. Your mind went blank your hair was moved from your neck a kiss was pressed there the kiss was followed by an eager tongue that followed your life vein, his movements were slow and tender Secondo's hand drifted down along your naked body until it rested between your legs his skilled fingers finding your clit making you gasp his name.

A grin curved its way onto his face now this he could do, he could be in control Secondo's clean face smothered into your neck as his pointer and middle fingers slipped inside of you arching up making your hips arch back making to ass press against his now erect cock his fingers moving slowly inside of you at first then speeding up to bring you to another orgasm. Just when you thought he was done Secondo pushed his hips forward rubbing his cock against your wet lips. "Squeeze my cock with your thighs baby." 'Baby' the word made your heart flutter as you dod as he asked squeezing your thighs closed and making the Emeritus gasp his hips bucking before finding a rhythm fucking your thighs while his hands wandered along your body until one took claim to your neck making you look him in the eyes his other rolled your clit overstimulating your poor body.

A kiss is pressed to your lips as you both cum together his seed decorating your sex and thighs. Once you both had come down from your highs Secondo changed the sheets and blankets, cleaning yourselves up which turned into a quickie in the shower by the time you both hit the bed you were exhausted, this time you faced each other soft kisses being shared you never knew a side like this could exist within this man one last lip-smacking kiss and the two of you fell asleep.

You were awoken by the sound of an alarm that was not yours the room was still dark aside from the few little rays of morning sunlight that managed to get past the black-out curtains grumbling to turn into the warm body that was next to you as a heavy hand turned the alarm off. "Buongiorno." Secondo's groggy voice spoke a hand rubbing one of his eyes watching as you sat up seeing a few bruises from the night before decorating your skin, a mark. "We have to get ready." You yawned your voice groggy. "Wait- fuck I don't have any clothes here aside from-."

You looked at yesterday's clothing. "Could always dress in mine sorella." The Emeritus smirked as he stood up. "Please, I would vanish in your clothes." He shrugged before getting washed up, you following redressing in yesterday's clothes as much as you hated it you couldn't exactly run around the Ministry naked. He left first and then you after a few minutes had passed so things wouldn't look too obvious that was when you saw Copia, smiling you rushed past a few siblings to catch up with the Cardinal.

"Hey, you!." You greeted him with a smile, one that he returned after his initial shock and nonsensical noises. "B-Buongiorno sister!" He greeted back trying hard to keep calm, cool, and collected so you wouldn't notice the light dusting of red on his cheeks as you walked together. "I heard Papa is coming back from his tour today." "Sì Sì he is, it won't be as quiet around here when Terzo gets back." You chuckled shaking your head.

"Oh come on he's not that bad- well okay maybe he is but hey the quietness will be gone." You tried to sound optimistic though you both knew as soon as Terzo got back he would bring all his dramatics with him. Copia looked at you from the corner of his eye trying to figure out how you were so- calm knowing that just a few days ago he was- inside you and you calling out his name, the thoughts hit that man like a ton of bricks his biretta being pulled from atop his head and held in front of him attempting to hide his shame while he walked with you silently. You tapped his arm almost sending the cardinal into a heart attack his eyes wide.

You arched a brow chuckling. "You're jumpy today, anyway this is where we have to part ways." Copia watched as you nodded to Secondo's office. "Ah!, sì sì sì of course of course I will see you, later at lunch yes?." You giggled which made his face redder. "Of course Copia, you better hurry you know how Sister hates to be kept waiting." The Cardinal nodded watching as you vanished into the office a sign passing his lips. "See you... mi amore." Copia whispered staring at the door for a few minutes longer before heading off, stopping by the restroom first to take care of himself the last thing he needed was for Sister to see him with a boner.

Getting into the restroom he hurried to one of the back stalls closing and locking it quickly he couldn't waste any time in fear that one of the siblings could walk in hiking the bottom of his cassock up to his midsection gloved hands unbuckling his belt and pulling the zipper one glove being pulled off. Taking a seat on the toilet, spitting into his non gloved hand before wrapping it around his erection mismatched eyes closing as he pumped his fist along his length picturing that it was your hand jerking him off.

Copia's mind fell back to that night where you'd 'helped him' how your throat felt, your tongue-. The Cardinal paused in mid-stroke as he heard the door open a couple of siblings talking about the return of Papa, Copia rolled his eyes as he grabbed his biretta biting down on it as he jerked himself quicker he could just picture you there on his lap bouncing on his dick your lovely cries of pleasure, the feel of your weight coming down onto his lap the bounce of your beautiful tits biting harder he came, his seed landing on the floor.

Once he got his bearings Copia cleaned up his mess and fixed himself up his making himself presentable before leaving and heading to Nihil's office to start his duties for him and Sister, the Cardinal was confused upon opening the door seeing Nihil, Sister Imperator, Primo and Sister Gemma all together. "Ah- hello there?." Copia spoke as Imperator turned around clapping her hands together. "Cardinal just in time! we have some excellent news, now we are waiting on only one other-." There was a knock at the door. "Ah!, shes here!." All turned to the door it was none other than- you, you walked into the door seeing all the eyes on you. "Hi?." You squeaked out coming to stand next to Copia who stood a bit straighter looking back to the group.

"You called for me Sister?." You asked giving a smile and waving at Primo who waved back. "Yes, I did you see." Imperator motioned towards Gemma. "It finally happened, Sister Gemma is with child." Both Primo and Nihil's chests puffed in pride, Nihil the fact his son knocked his Prime Mover up and Primo because he'd finally have his own little one running around, he'd save his worries for another day this day was one for celebration Primo took Gemma's hand in his a kiss pressed to her knuckles looking lovingly at her Primo's free hand resting on her midsection. "And that is why I called you in Sister," Imperator spoke her hands resting behind her back. "I am assigning you to Sister Gemma to assist her throughout her pregnancy." You were shocked it took you a minute to find your words. "What about Secondo?."

"He's a big boy, he can do his paperwork, now that things have slowed down a little." That meant you would be apart from him for quite some time you would be moved to the East Wing dorms, Gemma parted from Primo moving to take your hands in her own. "Sister, I appreciate this as I appreciate you and trust you the most I am excited to have you by our sides." You couldn't help but smile Gemma was always so nice even when you were a kid the amount of scrapes knees and arms she's kissed and made better was uncountable, Sister Gemma honestly was like a real sister. You gave her hands a light squeeze. "Thank you, it is truly an honor."

"Now with that being said." Imperator started. "About your housing, since that part of the Ministry will soon be under renovations you will be rooming with the Cardinal." Both you and Copia choked on your saliva at the same time. "What?." You both spoke in unison. --To be continued-- Tag List: @thesoundresoundsecho , @xpapaemeritus

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tuliptiger · 9 days

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Hello again! House/life update.

I am in a much better place mentally but really rather the same financially. I am currently laid off for a month seasonally since I'm still not a permanent employee. I have something in the works I'm hoping plays out so that I have a permanent position and worst case scenario I go back to work May 6th as a temp for 6 more months. I have side jobs and unemployment lined up in the mean time.

Anyway though! On to the house. Disappointing news but honest news in terms of the first contractor we hired. We still haven't gotten money back from him.

Recap: my mom and I fired him because he lied to us, charged tools on our account we up front said not to do, built a shoddy excuse of a foundation and frame for my house that we eventually had to pay our current contractor to demolish because it was so bad. It was for all definitions a different house the original contractor built. He used the wrong framing type for the blueprint and didn't even use framing nails to the city code. He wasn't even on site for 90% of the build and seemingly subcontracted it out which we didn't know.

In addition my mom is...not the best person to work with and makes a lot of mistakes. She's not a critical thinker on a lot of things. I made the mistake of asking her to help me buy land and build a house in the pursuit of escaping my generational poverty. I made the second mistake of asking her to take on individual responsibilities and not step in when the red flags started coming up.

I left her in charge of getting the money back from the OG contractor since she had all contact with him and she was originally the one who found him. That went as well as anyone could guess and she's, in summary, procrastinated doing any proper paperwork for attorneys or the contract board. I keep pushing her and she always says she'll get to it this day or that day or hits a dead end and then it goes nowhere.

This would not be a big issue but we're talking more than $20,000 he did in damages and $1,000 he directly stole from us like straight up $1,000 we handed him to do work he never did. The donations everyone has been sending in slowly are very much appreciated and remind me to keep fighting for this.

At this point I just want to get the house done so I can be done with the contractors and done with my mother. I don't want to be in this situation anymore and it's been dragged out for 3 years now. I've added pictures of where the house is at now and most of it having been done in January and February.

As the electric was finished and passed inspection I'm waiting in the HVAC and plumbing as the last things professionals must do before I can finish the house. I've started putting in flooring and the wood stove was just delivered so things are still moving.

The donations haven't covered anything large from the build but it has covered smaller things (I've used it for nails, locks for the doors, etc.) and given me strength to continue. Motivation from strangers, acquaintances and friends to not just walk away and to keep my head in the right space. I've emotionally and mentally been in a better place since I initially made the gofundme which has helped.

Anyway I've been meaning to make this for awhile and I'm sorry for the delay. I've been working my full time job before I was laid off, my side gigs, working on the house, still living out of my car and trying to work with my mother. I appreciate everyone who's been invested in this, shared it and donated. More updates will come in the future and thank you all again.

#words #house #it's been a full year #since i started living in my car #homeless #idk what to tag this as #donation #donation post #assistance #community help

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ysabelmystic · 8 months

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Top 10 things you got away with as a kid?

Thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to soapbox about the stupid and borderline psychopathic shit I did as a child. I don't know that this'll be a "Top" ten, but it will be the first ten things that come to mind.

Number 1: Attempted Murder (in self defense)

Some of y'all already know this story because it is in fact one of the most surreal things that's ever happened to me and it lives rent free in my head.

I spent my sophomore year of high school in Florida. My neighborhood didn't have blocks. We had ponds, and the houses were built around these ponds. The ponds were also full of alligators. This is important.

Every day after school, my friend and I would stand and talk at the bus stop before walking home to one of our houses. Because we both had overprotective parents, this and going to the park was about the only real freedom we had. So when a black car with a random guy sitting in it started parking across from the bus stop followed us if we started walking, we didn't tell anyone. Instead, we would just wait and talk until the guy got bored and bailed. This continued for about a month until one day, I had to make a to-scale model of St Basil's Cathedral for a school project. That thing was fuckin' heavy, so we were so focused on getting to my friend's place that we forgot that we were being stalked.

About ten minutes after we got to my friend's place, we were getting settled in, eating snacks and setting up the xbox, when his dogs went fucking ballistic. We looked out the window to see a strange man at the door and the black car parked in the driveway. He saw us and then walked around to the garage where we'd let ourselves in but hadn't locked it. So we ran to the garage and locked the side door just in time before they guy grabbed the knob and started trying to get in. When he couldn't, he went to the car entry and started beating at the metal door.

This would be the point when most people would call the police. But again, we had very overprotective parents. If we called the cops and they caught the guy, we'd never be let out of their sight again. If we called the cops and the guy got away, we'd get told off for being overdramatic and wasting the cops' time, and we'd still lose roaming privileges. Instead, over the course of about thirty seconds, we hatched a plan.

My friend’s dad kept his hunting gear in the garage. I knew how to use a bow and arrow at the time, and my friend knew how to swing a hatchet. We decided against using guns since neither of us felt like we could safely use them. Most people were at work, so it was unlikely that anyone would hear any screaming that was to ensue. The plan was to go outside and confront the man. If worst came to worst, we would simply yeet his body into the lake and let the gators take care of him.

We went back out the front door with our weapons and began loudly threatening the man. Not in a normal, “get off my property or I’ll shoot” way. We went into Joker Mode. We were 15, full of rage, severely sleep deprived, high on adrenaline, and in need of therapy. Plus, we thought that this would be the most effective way to scare him off. Luckily, it worked. We saw him rounding the corner of the house and chased him to his car. He sped off, and we never saw him again.

Number 2: Public Nuisance #1

Same year, same state, same friend. It was summer and we were bored as all get-out- bored enough to let my brother and his friend hang out with us. There was a Walgreens across the street from the neighborhood but it was kinda off on some side street so we were technically allowed to ride our bikes there. For whatever reason, on that day’s trip, we decided that this would be the day that we finally drank a Monster. And what the heck, what if we drank two Monsters. And when we got to the park with our bounty of caffeinated beverages, we thought, yknow, wouldn’t it be funny to see who could drink them the fastest. What could go wrong?

What went wrong was that you now had a small pack of children endowed with the energy of The Gods. And what else do you do with this energy but use the woods to play the most chaotic game of tag while playing LMFAO songs and occasionally scaring the shit out of unsuspecting trail walkers. Like yeah this was obnoxious and cringe, but none of us had ever had caffeine before and we now had consumed upwards of 400mg of the stuff. There were no brain cells. Only tachycardia and 2015 YouTube culture. We had become menaces.

This inevitably ended with all of us throwing up, and as the caffeine wore off, we decided to bike home. We started down the main path out of the woods, but at the clearing was a pair of cop cars and two officers walking into the woods. So we had to quickly hide in the bushes and sneak off-trail to the other side of the park. Why do I think they were for us? They were talking about a group of teenagers causing a “disturbance”. But we made it home without getting caught and played Minecraft for the rest of the day. We never did anything like that again, and every day I thank God that TikTok wasn’t a Thing yet.

Number 3: Public Nuisance #2

There were two things my middle school me despised about the girls’ locker room. 1) Everyone was constantly showing off their expensive bras and comparing cup sizes, and it rubbed me the wrong way (the “why” would be discovered later). 2) The perfume. Everyone makes fun of middle school boys and their Axe Body Spray, but the girls at this rich kid school had everything from Bath & Bodyworks to beauty boutique shit. It was beyond overwhelming. I was also deep in my “not like other girls” era and was full of unspecified rage. So, to cope, I started catching grasshoppers during PE. I wouldn’t just release them in the locker rooms. I would look for unlocked lockers or clothes that people had left out in the open, and hide the grasshoppers in their belongings. Just to inflict maximum chaos.

The PE teachers made a big show of looking for the prankster, but I was never caught.

Number 4: Destruction of Property #1

My fifth grade teacher, on God, is one of the shittiest people on this planet. He radiated Ted Bundy vibes. He was a total cunt. We all hated this bitch, and I was pretty much at war with him (he stole my books and destroyed one of my notebooks). This is the most monetary destruction that I caused in one go.

He had a water fountain on his desk, right behind his computer. For whatever reason, he had his computer cord wrapped around the fountain, so it wasn’t laying on the floor. It was basically a tripwire. Feeling silly, I tripped the wire. Fountain hit the floor and shattered. Papers went everywhere. The computer fell. My teacher had to dive into the puddle of water to save his laptop, but it must’ve still been damaged since he had to replace it a week later. And of course, he couldn’t do anything. I was very apologetic about it. It was an accident. I’d tripped. Everyone had seen me trip. It wasn’t the first time I’d tripped on something before. And it was only a matter of time before someone tripped on that cord anyways.

Number 5: Destruction of Property #2

The second worst teacher I’ve ever had was my 8th grade science teacher. He was also a total cunt, not for stealing my shit and destroying my work, but for making jokes about me cutting myself and encouraging the class to bully me. Yay! Just like my fifth grade teacher, he was a cunt with poor organization skills. He had a habit of not grading anyone’s papers until the end of the quarter. He would put each assignment in a stack and set the stack in an empty place on his desk. If he ran out of room, that stack would go on another stack, and so on and so forth. Basically, he had lots and lots of loose stacks of paper on his desk. I don’t remember why he was holding me after class, but I do remember that I was very displeased to be there. Instead of staying in my seat, I decided to take his chair. Y’know. To assert dominance. I fell back into the office chair and started spinning in it. I guess I must’ve hit it at just the right angle because something in the inner stand broke, and it sank to the lowest level. My arm hit a paper stack, which hit another paper stack, which hit another paper stack, and soon, there were papers all over the floor.

Dude didn’t even say anything. He turned red. Not wanting to stick around for the impending explosion, I just left lmao.

Number 6: Trespassing and Evasion

This is probably the most dramatic, disproportionate thing on this list. My first high school and middle school were connected, so overall, the campus was the size of a small college. It would take you at least 20 minutes to walk from one end to the other.

I was about to transfer schools, and to do this, I needed to deliver a folder of paperwork to the front office. Of course, my ADHD ass waited until the last possible day to deliver it. And I thought, “yeah I’ll just deliver this to the office during lunch”. The easiest way to do that was to go through the center doors of the main building and walk to the opposite side of the hall. 5 minute trip. Easy peasy.

Unfortunately, for some reason, someone decided to turn the student teachers into a security team. I got to the doors and was greeted with a very angry woman who was very much against the idea of me walking ten feet across the indoor hallway to the opposite side. I tried to explain my issue, but she wasn’t having it.

I didn’t want to deliver it after school since it meant I probably wouldn’t get a seat on the bus (seriously, it was packed enough that some people would have to sit on the floor, and to exit on the first couple stops, you had to climb out the window). I couldn’t very well walk around the outside of the building for two reasons. 1) This school ran like Mean Girls. The end of the building was popular kids territory, and God help you if you weren’t a popular kid in that area. I wasn’t just unpopular. I was poor. I was a wanted man. I had literal death threats over my head. And even if I made it past them, there was still a 50/50 chance of being caught by a rent-a-cop for being in the parking lot.

Luckily for me (and my friend who was with me for moral support), one of the upstairs side doors had a broken lock or something. It had caution tape all around it to deter people, but caution tape is easily surpassed and removable. Once inside, we just had to make it down the stairs and out to the office courtyard. Someone must’ve heard us though, because one of the student teachers started calling out, asking who’s there and all that jazz. He ran toward the main staircase. Other teachers showed up. We literally had to hide behind the decorative pillars while this became a fucking manhunt. It was like a scene out of a Nickelodeon program. When their backs were turned, we were able to sneak down another staircase and directly into the office. I delivered my papers, and all was well except we now had to make it back in while about 15 paranoid adults on a power trip were walking up and down the halls. Thankfully, my geography teacher’s room was nearby and he was chill so he let us stay in his classroom until lunch was over.

Number 7: Slander

In 4th grade, I framed a classmate as a “nose-picker” by saving water bottle label glue in my desk for 6 months and putting all the dirty goo-balls in his desk on desk cleanout day. All it took was one, “Ew! Look at Roger’s boogers!” and the rest is history.

He bullied my friend though, so he deserved it.

Number 8: Assault and Battery

In 9th grade, one of my classmates was excessively handsy and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Teachers wouldn’t do anything about him, so I took matters into my own hands, or rather, his hands. When he wasn’t paying attention, I slammed a pencil into his hand. It didn’t go all the way through, but it was standing on its own after I let go.

The crazy thing is that my teacher literally saw it and told the kid that he, “had it coming”, which is just another reason that that school was absolutely insane.

Number 9: Illegal Distillation

I once made wine in my backpack on accident. Old grapes met old crackers, and I ignored this until the bag they were in burst. I have no idea how no one stopped me.

Number 10: Theft and Framing (my mom’s contribution)

This is pretty benign, but my mom still brings it up.

My grandparents had a timeshare in Hawaii, and every now and then, they would allow us to go in their stead. One of 8-year-old me’s favorite things about this hotel was the birds, especially the geese. Because of the time difference between Hawaii and California, my brother and I also consistently woke up at 4 in the morning, so we had about 2 to 3 hours of “feed the birds” time before my parents woke up. Usually, we would use the rice Krispies, but we ran out. And the geese were still hungry. The wouldn’t eat the lucky charms, so that left my mom’s Very Expensive You-Can-Only-Buy-This-In-Hawaii-7-Dollars-in-2007-Money hemp and seed cereal. And birds like seeds, and in all fairness, I had no idea it was expensive, so logically we would give the birds this cereal. A whole box of this cereal.

So my mom wakes up to see her cereal lining the balcony and an empty box in the recycling bin. She went into Murder Mother Rage Mode, and like any self-preserving older sibling, I blamed my brother. I guess I was “old enough to know better”, so it worked. She brought it up every year or so as something terrible my brother did until a few years ago when I confessed to my crimes.

#ask #tw violence

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nervousgardenerkid · 2 years

Note

Can you maybe make a drabble abt Steve and reader getting stuck in the family video storage closet so they’re forced to spend time with each other and they confess?

New beginnings

a/n: hi anon! i hope you like this cause i think it's cute hehe. i'm a sucker for enemies to friends to lovers UGH!! i hope you enjoy it and credit to the gif owner!

warnings: steve being a dick when he was a freshman, curse words, some angst, that's pretty much it lol there are no pronouns used so everyone is free to read!

Robin wanted to rip her hair out. It's official, she hates you and Steve. The constant bickering, the little side comments, her constantly being the middleman, she was sick of it. She looked down at her watch wanting to fall to her knees when she realized she had one hour left. Usually, this wouldn't be a big deal, but it's Tuesday night, one of the slowest days for Family video due to everyone’s busy schedule and lack of time for movies.

She turns around to look at the supply closet longingly, you both found her hiding in there from your previous argument. Oh, sweet sanctuary she thinks to herself. I'll return to you soon.

“Robin, tell y/n his back to the future is lame!”

“If it was so lame they wouldn't have made a second movie!”

“That's what you two are fighting about?!”

You both stood still before Steve spoke up.

“We're not fighting, just having a debate.”

Robin pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath.

“Can you both come help me with something in the back?”

You and Steve mutter out your own agreements and make your way to the back with Robin behind you both. She grabs the key that hangs on the wall near Keith’s office, and smiles at you both as you and Steve wait for her.

“What do you even need back here?” Steve asks.

“Yeah, it creeps me out being back here for too long.”

Robin sighs and opens the supply closet nodding for you both to get in there.

“I don't know, I just remembered Keith wanted me to get some old films and put them out in the front.”

You and Steve mumble under your breath how weird it is that Keith wants old videos up front, but the man was hardly at work to begin with, so you and Steve make your way to the back of the supply closet. Your heads whip around when Robin slams the door shut and you both hear the small click from the lock.

“Oh hell no!” you mutter while running toward the door and smacking on it.

“Robin! Let us out!”

“Not until you two learn to get along!”

Steve lets out a groan while you gently bang your head on the door. You let out a sigh at Robin’s footsteps slowly fading out and decide to have a seat and wait it out until closing time.

“Seriously?” Steve asked with furrowed brows. “You're just gonna wait for her to come back?”

“Unless you have a better idea?”

Steve sits on the floor across from you, slouching on the rack of movies.

“No…”

“That's what I thought.”

He lets out a sigh and picks at the green vest he's wearing.

“I hate it when you're right.”

“You can add that to the list of things you hate about me then,” you said with a bitter-sweet smile.

Steve furrows his brows and tilts his head to the side. Confusion is evident on his face as he sees you reading the movies that are lined along the rack next to you.

“I don't hate you.”

A scoff escaped your lips. “Right, okay.”

“I'm serious, I don't hate you.”

You say nothing, the tension is thick and the silence is enough to make Steve feel antsy.

“Why are we always fighting?”

You shrug your shoulders.

“Do you hate me?”

You had to think about it, like really think about it. Although your first impression of Steve was the worst first impression ever, you had to admit he did clean his act up. Sure he was still an idiot, but he was a sweet idiot, if Robin liked him you were sure you two would get along. Except that wasn't the case, so instead of telling him, you shrug your shoulders again.

“It's complicated.”

“What do you mean it's complicated? Do you not know how you feel about me?”

“I know you're a dick.”

“Fuck you.”

“My point exactly.”

The silence returns along with some tension. You glance down at your watch every few minutes, getting more and more frustrated when time isn't moving as quickly as you'd like it to.

“What did I do?”

That caught your attention. You feel your body start to get hot and your heart feels heavy as you remember exactly what he did.

“Are you fucking serious?”

He flinches from the sudden outburst and fixes his posture. You can tell he doesn't plan on backing down.

A dry chuckle escapes from you as you push the tip of your tongue into the inside of your cheek.

“Do you remember freshman year? Around homecoming time?”

“Vaguely, why?”

“Freshman year was the year you asked me to homecoming.”

Suddenly, it all came rushing back to Steve. The dare Tommy and Carol made him do, the look on your face when you saw him at the dance.

“Y/n-”

“You know, I was over the moon that the Steve Harrington asked me to the dance. As cliche as it sounds, we were kinda part of different worlds. You were Mr.Popular, and I was just the person who sat on the sidelines.”

Steve looks down at his shoes. He can't bring himself to look at you as the memories come flooding back to him.

“A-and the night of the dance I was ready. I sat on my front porch waiting for you, all dressed up just for you. When you never showed up I should have taken that as a sign but I stayed hopeful. I thought to myself, It's okay, Steve might've said he'd meet me at the dance instead of picking me up.” you chuckled.

“I-i swear I'm not-”

“So imagine my surprise, when I finally go to the dance and I see you dancing with Monica.”

A familiar silence falls over both of you. Steve wants to talk, he just doesn't know what to say or where to even start.

“I'm not like that anymore,” he says quietly.

“I know,” you sigh. “You are the company you keep. Tommy and Carol were assholes therefore that made you an asshole.”

Steve chuckles, you're completely right.

“Yeah, I was an asshole.”

“Yeah, but now you hang out with kids. You're not that bad now.”

Steve smiled at your statement, he's getting somewhere now.

“I'm sorry for that. Really, I am.” he sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

“It's in the past now, Steve. I should be able to let it go now-”

“No,” he said while shaking his head. “This is something I did that hurt you. Take all the time you need, I'll even give you space if you want it.”

“No, it's fine. It's kinda hard to hate you when you're not such an asshole.”

Silence once again makes itself familiar with both of you but it's different this time. The silence that covers you like a blanket is comfortable and all tension has left, you're both even playing catch with a clump of paper you found.

“Do you think,” Steve started. “Do you think we can start over? Like a clean slate and all that?”

You nod your head, a faint smile on your lips.

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

Steve sticks his hand out and smiles at you.

“I'm Steve, nice to meet you.”

You grab onto his hand, shaking it gently.

“It’s nice to meet you, Steve, I'm y/n.”

You both stay like that for a while. Hand in hand, smiles on your face, and slightly rosy cheeks.

“...do you think Robin forgot about us?”

“Probably.”

taglist <3

@cityofidek @spideyjass @simpingoverfictionalppl

#steve harrington blurb #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #stranger things blurb #stranger things imagine #stranger things angst #stranger things x reader #stranger things fluff

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rubyarrows · 6 months

Text

Finding Solace

I never imagined that a simple phone call could make my heart race faster than any high-speed chase. It was just another day at work, until my phone buzzed with YN's name flashing on the screen. Panic immediately set in as I answered, my voice laced with concern.

"YNN? What's wrong?" I asked, my mind already conjuring up worst-case scenarios.

Her voice trembled as she spoke, struggling to form coherent words. "Marty, I-I'm having an anxiety attack. I can't breathe, and everything feels so overwhelming."

My heart sank, and all I could think about was getting home to her. YN had become my beacon of light, my safe haven in this unpredictable world. Without a moment's hesitation, I assured her, "Stay on the line, babe. I'm coming home right now."

Every second felt like an eternity as I raced through the busy streets, my mind clouded with worry. The sight of our house came into view, and I rushed inside, calling out her name. Panic gripped me when all I heard was silence.

I found her in the middle of the kitchen floor, her body trembling uncontrollably. Her eyes were filled with fear, and my heart ached at the sight. Kneeling down beside her, I gently took her trembling hands in mine, my touch grounding her in reality.

"Hey, YNN," I whispered softly, my voice filled with reassurance. "I'm here now. You're not alone."

Her eyes locked with mine, desperately searching for comfort. In that moment, I realized the immense weight of responsibility that rested upon my shoulders. I had to be her anchor, her rock when life's storm threatened to engulf her.

"Hear my heart?" I asked, my voice steady yet filled with unwavering affection. "Just focus on that. Let the rhythm of my heartbeat guide you back to calm."

With each beat, I hoped to drown out the chaos that plagued her mind. I held her close, enveloping her in a protective embrace, and slowly her breathing began to steady. Her body relaxed against mine, and I could feel the tension dissipating.

Time seemed to stand still as we sat there, connected by an unspoken bond. In that moment of vulnerability, we found solace in each other's arms. Love had a way of healing even the deepest wounds, and I vowed to always be there for her, to be her guiding light through the darkest of nights.

As her trembling subsided and her breathing returned to normal, YN looked up at me with gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thank you, Marty," she whispered, her voice filled with sincerity. "You always know how to calm the storm within me."

I brushed a gentle kiss against her forehead, my heart overflowing with love. "I'll always be here for you, YN. Through thick and thin, no matter what. Together, we can weather any storm."

As we sat there, lost in our own world of solace, the sound of approaching sirens shattered the tranquility. Startled, YN and I looked at each other, realizing that we were no longer alone. I gently squeezed her hand, silently assuring her that everything would be okay.

Within moments, the front door burst open, revealing the concerned faces of my teammates, Callen, Sam, and Kensi. Their eyes darted between YN and me, their expressions a mixture of relief and curiosity.

"What happened, Deeks? Why did you rush out of here like the building was on fire?" Callen asked, his voice laced with worry.

Sam's stern gaze softened as he took in the scene before him. "Is YN okay?" he asked, concern etched in his voice.

Kensi, ever the intuitive one, observed the aftermath of YN's anxiety attack and offered a comforting smile. "Hey, YNN. Are you feeling better now?"

YN nodded weakly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you all for coming. I... I just needed Marty."

Understanding crossed their faces as they exchanged glances, realizing the depth of our connection. They knew how much YN meant to me and how fiercely I would protect her. Without a word, they closed ranks around us, forming a united front of support.

Callen placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Deeks, we're a team, on and off the field. We're here for you, always."

Sam nodded, his voice filled with unwavering loyalty. "We've got your back, brother. Whatever you and YN need, just say the word."

Kensi's eyes sparkled with compassion as she spoke. "YN, you're part of our family now. We're here to support you just as much as we're here for Marty."

A wave of gratitude washed over me, knowing that I had the unwavering support of my teammates, my family. In that moment, I realized that no matter what challenges we faced, we would face them together.

YN's grip on my hand tightened, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "Thank you, all of you. Your presence means more than words can express."

As we sat together, the weight of the world seemed to lift from our shoulders. We were surrounded by a circle of trust, a haven where vulnerability was met with understanding and love. In the midst of chaos, we found strength in each other, our bonds forged through shared experiences and unwavering loyalty.

#ruby arrows #ruby arrows imagines #ncis #ncis la #ncis x reader #ncis imagine #ncis fanfiction #ncis la x reader #ncis la imagine #ncis la imagines #ncis la fanfiction #marty deeks #marty deeks x reader #marty deeks imagine #marty deeks imagines #marty deeks fanfiction

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solomons-finest-rum · 2 years

Text

“Great Libraries of the Ancient World” (Alfie Solomons x fem!Reader) — Part 2/2

READ PART 1 HERE

SUMMARY — Dark Academia AU. When you accepted the position of a librarian in an elite boarding school, you weren't exactly prepared for the mess that your predecessor had left in said library, and most importantly—for a certain Literature professor that would soon turn your world upside down.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — This is written for the 600 Celebration Event for the lovely Lee from @zablife! 💗💗💗 Towards the end there I decided that Alfie deserved his own bit since his point of view is, as always, thoroughly mad! (in the best possible way, I hope 🙈)

WORD COUNT — 6,896

Masterlist

A couple days passed since the last time you saw who you thought was just the strangest character this school had thrown at you yet. Unbeknownst to you, though, that competition came to a close once you really got to know the resident nurse. You two getting to know each other better was, as she had put it, inevitable—though simultaneously the oddest experience that surpassed even Alfie Solomons himself:

“The library’s closed, go back to bed,” was the first thing you said to her, without even looking at who it was that came through the door that particularly rainy evening.

“Good thing I’m not here to read, eh?” she chirped and you finally raised your head at the sound of her voice, having determined it couldn’t have been a student roaming the corridors after lights out.

“Oh, pardon me,” you gave her a small smile and she reciprocated, “I didn’t realise staff would be coming here at this hour.”

“Ah! But I’m not here on any official business either,” she replied and your frown got even deeper.

“Then how can I help you?”

“Don’t let me disturb ya, love, finish your work, then we’ll talk,” the nurse said as she waltzed in and took a gander at the rows and rows of books before her, with the numerous bookcases and wooden stacks reaching all the way up to the ceiling.

“My, my, a fine job you did here, eh? ‘T was like a pigsty when she ran it before ya, to tell ya the truth.”

You finally put your pen down after that, as until then you never heard someone speaking about your predecessor with such open contempt. Well… No one but Alfie dared to, let alone with such a strong Irish accent. But then again… There was still a lot you had to learn about your colleagues.

“Excuse me?” you said, with that carefully crafted gentle tone you would use on your mother on her worst days.

But the nurse just smiled, in a way a cat might just before swallowing his prey whole, as she all but danced towards your desk.

“Now then,” she announced, as she slammed a bottle of gin right before you and you jumped at the force of it, not to mention the contents. “I say it’s high time us girls got to know each other a little better! Don’t you?”

You took a second to reply, but since you’ve never really had a close confidante before and the notes you were working on got incredibly tedious and boring, it was easy to comply with the outrageous proposal.

Even though you’ve never had a drink before in your life.

“You do realise we might be let go if anyone sees us drink?” you whispered to your new friend, but all she did was laugh.

“Then you better close that door, and fast!”

And so you did. You put down your pen and when excitement crept in to substitute your initial inhibitions there was no looking back. You took the lamp off your desk and walked towards the entry, looked both ways around the empty corridor and quickly locked the library doors. You followed the other woman to your tiny office, though much like Alfie, it seemed that she knew the way already.

“Now, where did she keep the glasses, let’s see,” the nurse, whose name you still tried to recall from the faculty meetings, but it somehow slipped your mind continuously, rummaged through your cupboards until she finally emerged holding two dusty port glasses. “Aha!”

“Miss…” you started to say, but she cut you off immediately as she wiped the glasses with her skirt and then poured your drinks.

“Well, it’s actually missus, and the worst part of it is, I’m Mrs. Miss. So I implore you to call me Margaret.”

Your confusion must have been palpable, because as soon as she said it, she laughed and handed you the drink.

“My husband’s name, strange as he was, was Mr. Miss,” she downed her drink and immediately poured herself one more, “and then the old bastard had the audacity to die and leave me with it.” She waved her hand around with flourish. “May I smoke?”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” you said quickly and just in time, for she was just about ready to light one.

“Damn, how silly of me.” She chuckled and put her cigarettes away. “It’s a library!” she announced as if it was a surprise to you both, then took another sip.

Strange as she was, she was also the only other woman at the school, and she did seem friendly—and by God, you really needed a friend. And so you decided to bear the strangeness, since it felt like you haven’t spoken to another human being in days. In terms of speaking, Alfie, you have decided, didn’t count.

Even though he had saved your life. But you promised yourself you wouldn’t dwell on it too much. And if the thoughts wouldn’t leave, as they so threatened to do ever since your first encounter, then you would just have to be an adult about it and re-read “Wuthering Heights”.

“So your name is… Margaret Miss,” you said, attempting to change the subject.

“That’s right,” she gave you a wicked smile and since you understood less and less of it while sober, you felt there was nothing else to do but to follow her lead. So you drank the liquor and gasped when it burned your throat, to the amusement of your new friend.

“You’re not used to this, eh?” Margaret laughed and refilled your glass. “Don’t worry, love, gin’s actually good for ya.”

“Is it?”

“Oh yes!” She nodded and drank some more, then gave you a wink and you shrugged before doing as she had once again. “I’m a trained nurse, love, you can trust me.”

It turned out, while by all rational judgement you should not have trusted Margaret Miss in the slightest, you ended up very glad you had.

She was great fun and knew too many stories about the school to even count. As you both drank and giggled, you listened intently to the gossip she told you about each member of the faculty:

“So,” you cleared your throat as you felt your speech slur a little at that point, “the headmaster drinks.”

“Oh yes,” Margaret nodded and emptied the last of the gin into your glasses. “Even more than I do.”

“And the Arithmetics professor…”

“Mr. Teague.”

“He’s not really married.”

“Goodness, no! I maintain my point.” Margaret downed the rest of her drink and so had you. “I think the wife’s entirely made up!”

“But the Geography professor is?”

“Yes!” Margaret chirped. “Now, he is an actual university professor, as far as I can say. We still don’t know what in hell he’s doing here out of all places, and I’ve seen the woman only twice before. She doesn’t even live here, can you imagine?”

“And who is Alfie?” You finally asked the question you really wanted to ask, unconstrained this time thanks to the gin bottle you had both polished. But as soon as you asked, you felt your cheeks go red and the regret swept in.

“Well then,” Margaret’s grin, however, got even wider and she reminded you once more of a wicked cat, “he caught your eye already? My, my, that man works fast…”

“What?” you gasped at the blatant suggestion, which only caused your new friend to giggle.

“Don’t worry, love, I won’t tell!”

“Tell what? I don’t… He came by the library the other day, I thought he was the groundskeeper, I wasn’t—”

But then you realised you did exactly as she had wanted you to and said entirely too much—in which case, you were assured in your conviction to keep Alfie having saved you a secret.

Only, as you soon noticed, Margaret’s intentions weren’t nefarious at all. She was a gossip, yes, but solely because she was of a naturally curious disposition. The fit of giggles that soon followed your hurried explanations wasn’t meant to humiliate you at least.

“Oh God, I haven’t laughed like that in ages!” Margaret whined and wiped her eyes, giving out one last chuckle. “Alfie Solomons, the groundskeeper…!”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” you whispered and she turned towards you with a sour expression.

“And who would I talk to, do you think? None of the men give me the time of day. They’re too busy being studious and important,” she huffed. “But I must say,” she laughed again and shook her head, “that image is too accurate!”

Then, your new friend finally explained to you that the reason for her giggling fit was that Alfie Solomons was actually a professor. His subjects were History and Literature, the fact which made you want to squirm with embarrassment even more.

You felt like you might have made even a bigger fool of yourself before him than you initially thought, and even though you told yourself the man’s opinion didn’t really matter, deep down inside you realised it was a lie. Because you did care what others thought of you; immensely so.

“But tell me,” Margaret interrupted your thoughts once more. “What are you doing here, exactly?”

You knew what she meant. What was a girl like you doing here, playing a librarian at a boarding school in the middle of nowhere—with your manners and the posh accent and the way of being that must have been infinitely odd for someone like Margaret. But, to be honest, you’ve had entirely too much gin and were too far away from your parents to let their own judgement control you. So you decided to tell the truth:

“My father has no heirs.”

You shrugged after that confession and Margaret nodded slowly, processing the information. And even if she decided to pass it forward later and gossip, you in turn decided you didn’t care much about that bit.

“So it’s like that Jane Austen novel then?”

Margaret surprised you with that statement. She grinned at you widely and you couldn’t help but laugh at the comparison.

Because yes, you realised, it sounded exactly like an Austen plot. As soon as you did, you fell into a drunken fit of giggles yourself—not unlike the one Margaret had. Your life finally resembled a novel like you always wanted; the only problem being, this one just wasn’t your favourite.

Alfie returned to your library (as after these past few weeks that’s how you felt it should be called) precisely on the next day—when you woke up sick to your stomach and with your head spinning; all thanks to Margaret Miss and her infernal gin. Safe to say, you didn’t feel like being productive at all, and even if you wanted to be, you knew your body wouldn’t let you.

Thankfully, you didn’t have any supervisors breathing down your necks, not to mention that usually the library didn’t get any sort of visitors at all. You were safe to suffer in silence behind the desk then, and that’s how Alfie found you—sick beyond belief and only pretending to remain amongst the living.

“Mornin’, luv! Got a second to spare?”

Alfie’s greeting was, just like the rest of his person, entirely too loud to endure, even when not hungover. You sighed and fixed your glasses, just to make sure if he wasn’t perhaps a figment of your cruel imagination.

“Yeah, you alright there, sweetie?”

Apparently, he wasn’t. Alfie Solomons was, regrettably, still very real; standing in your library and grinning at you while you groaned and rested your cheek against the ledger.

“The library’s closed,” you managed to utter, but that of course wouldn’t satisfy the insufferable man in the slightest.

“You not feelin’ too well or somethin’?”

“Evidently,” you said bitterly and closed your eyes, then faked an unconvincing cough. “Might be influenza…”

“Ah,” you couldn’t see it, but Alfie’s grin got only wider. “Dearie me, that’s just horrible, innit.”

“Best stay away, Mr. Solomons,” you “coughed” again, “or you might catch it.”

Pitiful performance, one that any of your mother’s foul moods could put to shame in a matter of minutes, and it did nothing to convince him either.

“So ya know my name now?”

You opened one eye and did your best to sit upright; Alfie’s altogether unreasonably smug disposition irking you even more than before.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, I asked you first, didn’t I?”

And then he took a step forward and outstretched his hand to, as you realised with horror, check your forehead. You clenched your teeth as you felt sick again, and you told yourself that was in reaction to the man’s forwardness—but you knew it to be untrue.

“Nah, no fever,” Alfie said, smirking again. “But ya might think of goin’ to see the nurse about that.”

You groaned then in a completely unladylike manner—something this man made you do more often than you would like to admit. Alfie chuckled at the reaction and you knew he solved the puzzle.

“She did that then.” He leaned forward on his elbows and you leaned back, unprepared for any more closeness. “Yeah, some advice, darlin’, don’t catch yourself drinkin’ with her again, alright?”

“Get out, please,” you whispered then.

“What?”

He was taken aback at first, and you couldn’t blame him exactly, because you weren’t really the most forward of people—if you were feeling like yourself, that is. But you very much weren’t. Thankfully, when you covered your mouth and felt another wave of sickness getting closer, Alfie must have understood. He uttered one last “ah” and finally left the library.

After that unfortunate day, you avoided Alfie like the plague. Utterly and completely mortified at your own behaviour, and too sure he would find some way to embarrass you about it even more, you resolved on the old and tried pretending he didn’t exist.

A treatment that, as it soon became apparent, wouldn’t go unpunished in his book. You didn’t seek Alfie out, but by now you knew enough about him to know there would be consequences.

However, your own explanation for him still insisting you paid attention to him was that he surely must have still been searching for the remaining two books the previous librarian had promised him. But what were you to do, you reasoned, when your pride was still wounded and your humiliation had reached such heights? Surely, that was much more important…

“Are ya ignorin’ me then?” Alfie asked you for what must have been the third or fourth time within the hour, and then, as he would, he proceeded to disregard your every answer.

“I’m not ignoring you, Mr. Solomons, I’m just very busy,” you explained, doing your best to indeed seem so.

You actually had some students present in the library that day, to Alfie’s infinite annoyance and to your enormous satisfaction. Nothing picked up your spirits quite as much as shushing the teenaged menaces every quarter of an hour.

“That so?” Alfie grumbled, clearly not used to things not going his way.

“Yes, that is so.”

You huffed when he leaned forward to rest his elbows on your desk; a thing he really seemed to like doing and something you tolerated (because you realised by then that the man enjoyed seeing you annoyed with him most of all).

But that, of course, had to be remedied once one of the students came to your desk. You straightened your back and tried to look competent, while the boy glanced at you meekly.

“Please remove yourself from my desk, Professor,” you commanded Alfie.

The boy had clearly been trying to get your attention for some time, but at the same time did his best to avoid colliding with Alfie.

“Aye, what do you want?” Alfie shot the boy a look of such malice that you yourself was taken aback by it.

“Professor!” you exclaimed and outstretched your hand to take the books from the student—though by now, the boy was clutching them tightly, as if trying to shield himself from the mean professor.

Alfie grunted something and looked at you, but saw you wouldn’t budge and so he finally stepped aside.

“Be sure to give these back by the end of the week, dear,” you instructed the student as you filled out his library card and shot Alfie one more disapproving look.

The boy, still feeling Alfie’s gaze on his back, nodded ardently.

“Yes, Miss!”

“And please be careful with the cover, this one still has a tear…”

“Yes, Miss!”

“All right, you enjoy!” You smiled at the boy and waved goodbye, but as soon as his books were checked out, he grabbed them and ran out as fast as he could, only to be out of Alfie’s reach.

“I suppose you think yourself funny?!” you huffed at Alfie as soon as you two were alone.

“What?”

“That poor boy! He was just trying to get himself some books, and you…!”

“Me?” He grinned.

“It’s bad enough these boys don’t read, but you’re their teacher!” You shook your head and pointed your finger at him. “You should encourage their reading!”

“Naaaah, most of them are rich arseholes that’ll replace daddy in the parliament, so there’s no point, innit,” Alfie smirked once more. “It’s real cute you think that, though.”

“Uh!” You let out a tired grunt, really frustrated with his cynicism. “But what if one of them isn’t?! Then you just—”

“Lower your voice, luv, this is a library.”

Outraged, you threw your hands up and left your post to go stock the shelves, hoping that Alfie would understand the message.

But he didn’t. Because of course he didn’t.

“Nah, what I did was mostly a favour, right, that poor lad was nearly pissin’ himself when he tried to speak to ya, don’t think he ever saw a real woman up close—”

“Oh, stop it!” you scoffed and turned around to face him, holding out a book like it was a weapon. “I know you’re a menace, Alfie Solomons, I can see the way these boys run away as soon as they see you!”

To your dismay, the man looked rather pleased at the description.

“Right, and?”

“And! They’re scared of you!”

“Good.”

“Good?!” You shook your head and pushed past him to put the book on the correct shelf. “I don’t understand you at all, I swear.”

“Then ask me.”

You turned around, still as confused as ever.

“Get to know me,” Alfie grunted, but took a step back when you pointed your finger at him again. “Wha’?”

“I don’t have to, Alfie Solomons, I already can tell you all about you!”

“That so?”

“That’s right. Now move, you’re in my way.”

You squeezed past him again, something you could tell he was counting on, but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you blush.

Then again, as expected, Alfie followed you to the next shelf.

“Right, you’re clearly mad about somethin’...”

“Clever man!”

“Yeah, care to share with the class then?”

You scoffed for the hundredth time and just shook your head before you disappeared between the stacks again. Alfie’s voice followed you.

“‘Cause then I thought to myself, okay, thought I, what could I have done to ya to be deservin’ of such treatment?” Alfie continued his thought, obviously thoroughly unbothered by your growing annoyance or orders. “‘Cause the way I see it, yeah, so far I’ve saved your life, been nothin’ but nice to ya, an’... Well, I’m keepin’ the business goin’, aren’t I?”

“What?!” You turned around and noticed that you and Alfie were a shelf apart from each other; he bent down to look at you from the opposite side of the F section of Science & Physiology.

“I’m the only one who reads around here, luv, except for you.”

You shook your head and pretended you didn’t care, only to be met with an all too happy smirk from him again.

“What on earth do you mean, Professor?”

“Ah, so it’s professor now, is it?”

“That is your title, is it not? I’m assuming you are a professor here, seeing as you’re still teaching? When you’re not stalking my library, that is.”

“Oh yeah, I am, yeah… Just never pegged ya for a person to bother with all that nonsense, ‘s all.”

“What nonsense would that be?”

“Ah, titles an’ sh… Stuff.”

He stopped himself there and you frowned, a little surprised at his restraint. You wondered then how exactly Alfie spoke to his students and how was the headmaster even allowing such language from him.

But then perhaps Alfie’s delightful vocabulary was only put to use when you were concerned.

“Right, so I’ll take these then.” Alfie produced three books seemingly out of nowhere and you got even more suspicious. He must have picked them at random along the way.

“What?” he asked, clearly pretending that had been the plan all along.

You glanced at the titles and snorted.

“Why would you even need these?”

“‘S a good read, luv, don’t be snobbish.”

“Dracula?”

“Gotta brush up on the classics, sweetheart.”

“And… A Christmas Carol?”

“Just ‘round the corner, right, thought it’d get me in the mood faster.”

“It’s October.”

“Right, that’s why I got…” He frowned. “This.”

You laughed at him, though not too much. The last one was actually your personal favourite, so you didn’t judge that too harshly. But then again… Alfie didn’t have to know.

“Well then,” you decided and chuckled once more. “Who am I to judge your choice in literature, Professor?”

Alfie raised one brow and you shook your head, realising he really didn’t need to explain himself and you really didn’t need to prolong the discussion by asking. The sooner you checked out his books, the sooner you could get back to your real work—one that didn’t involve Alfie Solomons.

And so you relented and got back with him to your desk.

You reached for the card he gave you and busied yourself with all the formalities—even though you didn’t need to, not really. Alfie meant what he said by “keeping the business going” and he was painfully right in it. He truly was the only one who used the library, besides the occasional one or two students seeking solitude. Even though his main reason for it seemed to have been annoying the living daylights out of you…

“Will that be all, Professor?” you sighed once you handed him the books.

“Right, how long you gonna punish me for?” he scoffed.

“Punish you?”

“Yeah.”

“What on earth…”

But just as you asked that, Alfie was already leaving, muttering under his breath something you knew full well you wouldn’t be interested in hearing.

The peculiar behaviour from Alfie didn’t stop after that. Him disrupting your work became a somewhat daily occurrence—and how was the man even able to do his own work during the day remained a mystery. He came by the library every other day or so, each time demanding your undivided attention and checking out more and more outlandish titles. Sometimes you thought he only did that in hopes to coax a laugh out of you, or maybe he just really liked getting on your nerves. The real issue, however, came when you noticed that most of the books he checked out were returned past the deadline or not at all.

When confronted about it, Alfie always had a playful remark ready, never really letting you get a straight answer out of him. So you danced around each other for weeks, until one evening you decided you had enough. It was the first Saturday of the Christmas break and the school felt more or less deserted. It was time to reclaim the library’s rightful possessions.

As far as you knew, the only people left in the building were you, the headmaster, and all the ghouls in the dungeons. But you also found yourself hoping that a certain professor had stayed for the holidays as well, because he was certainly due a thorough talking down.

You were armed with exactly two excuses to talk to Alfie, one of them being all the overdue library books, with your favourite one amongst them. And yes, of course you had your own copy, but this you felt belonged to you by proxy; since you were the sole custodian of all these ancient volumes and manuscripts. Secondly, you finally found the two other books that Alfie was promised by your predecessor and you couldn’t get rid of them fast enough. If push came to shove, you were prepared to make a bargain.

So, after you finished your daily library inventory and had a bit of Margaret’s gin for courage, you ventured down the dimly lit corridors on a mission to find Alfie’s office. As you did, you sometimes stopped to look out the windows and watch the intense blizzard, suddenly very glad you chose to throw a jumper over your dress. Scratchy or not, winters in the countryside were nothing like in London. After a while, the farthest you could see was the courtyard; the rest covered in thick, foggy whiteness.

Books in hand and a map that seemed to disappoint every other turn or so, you finally arrived by what you thought was the correct door. You knocked twice and patiently waited for the answer, though as your nervousness grew, your patience diminished. You were reminded of all the times Alfie had simply barged into your library or your office as if they were his own, and suddenly so emboldened by your annoyance, you pressed on the handle. The door was closed, though, and you huffed at having come all this way only to be disappointed.

Then, a familiar raspy voice resounded from the other end of the corridor:

“Lookin’ for me, luv?”

You yelped and nearly dropped the books you were holding, feeling yourself blush under the scrutiny. It was as if he did all of this on purpose only to mess with you… And judging by the smirk on his face, your suspicions weren’t very far off.

Alfie looked even more dressed down than usual, obviously thoroughly enjoying the lack of students around. His beard was as shaggy as always, though you couldn’t say you didn’t exactly enjoy the sight of it. He was so different from the prim and proper society that London had to offer…

“Come on then,” he said to you as soon as he unlocked the door and pushed it open for you.

Reluctantly, you stepped into his office, all of a sudden wishing you had had more of that gin. The room was dark, impossibly so. The only source of light seeped in from the corridor and gave the surroundings twisted, spooky shapes. Alfie walked in behind you and lit a match, then put it to the lamp sitting on his desk. It was old and obviously required cleaning, as the light it gave was no better than a sooty fireplace. Speaking of which, Alfie’s was entirely cold and suddenly you felt cold even despite the jumper.

“So, how can I help ya?” Alfie asked then, grabbing your attention as he tended to do.

He lit another lamp and only then were you able to take a somewhat proper look around—and as you did, you were reminded of the previous state of your library. It was that same type of chaotic mess, with books and various trinkets spread around the desk and stacked on both windowsills. There were pictures and photographs hanging above the fireplace, though you couldn’t make out most of them due to how dark the office still was.

“I…” you started, but then quickly lost your plot. So you took a step forward and carefully placed the two books on top of the stack on his desk.

Alfie watched you do it and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

“That why you came all the way down here, darlin’?” he grunted, somewhat amused at your unexpected shyness.

Because that was just the thing. You weren’t shy around him, not usually. You were just about the only person who had no reaction for his loudness, lack of manners or the strange speech. That was one of the reasons he liked you so much, the other one being—you were absolutely his type. Which was precisely why Alfie was having such a hard time figuring you out. Because he wanted to figure you out so badly that it completely dulled his usually sharp wit.

In Alfie’s personal opinion, he had been making this all too easy for you. He liked to think that the reason you sometimes joined in on the nonsense and argued with him when he stopped by was that maybe, just maybe, you liked him, too. At least as a colleague.

But as the days passed and the library seemed to have blossomed under your careful touch, he in turn found himself going slightly insane. Even more so than other people liked to call him.

So, while you could say he had fantasised about you coming down from your princess tower and at least having a drink with him instead of that infernal gossip, Margaret, Alfie wasn’t really prepared for that fantasy to come true. Until now.

And, as it happens with fantasies, he barely knew what to do with himself, now that he had you here with him; with the school deserted during the holidays and no students threatening to pull you away from him to ask their moronic questions about how the catalogues worked or if Dickens would be found under “c” for Charles.

Because Alfie had heard them ask those types of questions and he was honestly on the verge of giving out detentions for the nonsense of it alone.

But coming to the question of you… No. Despite his usual boldness, he had no idea what to do with you. Not to mention that you have somehow fulfilled his ridiculous book list—one he had invented on the spot, the second he caught you from your fall and you landed in his arms; much like a gift from gods that otherwise (of that Alfie was certain) hated him with a passion.

The list was entirely made up, you see, and it consisted of the three titles Alfie was certain you wouldn’t be able to find (not for a long time at least) and he would have an excuse to bother you about it whenever he pleased.

As it turned out, he had once more thoroughly underestimated you and your abilities. He knew you were capable of course, but when it came to your person, Alfie seemed to have misplaced his brain somewhere. He remained convinced your very presence replaced at least half of it with cotton and sawdust.

“Well then?”

Your voice brought him back, somewhat at least, and he winced instead of admitting he never heard one word you said to him.

“How ‘bout a drink then?” he said quickly, figuring you were just about to leave.

As it happens, you weren’t. You sat down in the armchair next to the fireplace; his armchair to be precise, and crossed your arms defiantly, shooting him one of your stubborn looks.

“Fine,” you said finally, at which Alfie frowned a little. He wasn’t prepared for you obliging him, but clearly there was something there that he was missing about the entire thing.

Nonetheless, he wasn’t about to waste his chance and took out a bottle of rum from the cupboard, along with two glasses—therefore reaching his office’s capacity for company. As he placed a drink in your hand, he noticed your curiosity at its contents.

“It’s rum,” he explained.

“Huh.”

You swirled the drink around the glass and sniffed it curiously. He wondered then if this was your first time drinking, but then he remembered he had seen you hungover. So perhaps it was just your first time with rum, in which case… Alfie was more than eager to share any of your firsts.

You took a sip and nodded appreciatively, your features smoothing a little. Alfie felt a little smug, having figured he just won with Margaret’s gin.

“You’re not one for company, are you?” you asked him then and he realised that indeed, he had been looming over you a little there since you pretty much occupied the only seat in the room.

To be honest, you weren’t that far off. He wasn’t one for company, in fact… His one and only friend in the world was probably the headmaster of this school, though Alfie couldn’t tell if that really counted since technically the man was also his employer. But no, he didn’t much like company and his office was designed that way. It seemed that, much like with everything else, you were proving to be an exception to the rule.

“Nah,” Alfie said finally since the silence between you lasted long enough.

“I’m not going anywhere, I hope you know that,” you informed him then, though much too sharply to mean it the way he wanted you to mean it.

“You’re not?”

“Not without my books.”

And then it hit him that he had probably missed half of the tirade about having kept them past due, which to be honest a part of him regretted. There was nothing quite as captivating as when you got properly upset with him. Not that Alfie really wanted you to be, but in his twisted understanding it was really the only way to make you pay any attention to him.

“Starting with this one,” you announced all of a sudden as you got up and took the book resting on the mantelpiece.

Alfie watched as you flipped through the pages and inspected it more thoroughly. Each time you noticed a tear or a folded edge or a pencil annotation you let out a gasp, and Alfie honestly never heard anything more endearing. Safe to say, he was obsessed.

“What did you do to it?!” you exclaimed when you were done with checking the damage, but judging by your looks, you clearly demanded an explanation.

“Loved it a li’l too well, I reckon,” Alfie grunted.

“And do you always destroy the things you love?!”

He frowned at that and you clasped a hand over your mouth, obviously too emboldened either by the witnessed damage or the drink.

“What sorta question is that?” Alfie scoffed and gently pried the book from your hands.

“Good God, I apologise,” you gasped. “That was so inappropriate of me, I—”

“Nah, no bother, luv,” he lied smoothly and took one more look at the thing before placing it as far away from you as possible.

“Well,” you sighed and looked at him with what almost looked like pleading eyes. “I could fix it, I suppose. Or do my best to try. But I do not appreciate you writing in my books!”

Alfie blinked at you slowly and hummed as he took a sip of his drink.

“I’m serious!” you insisted.

“Oh, I know you are, yeah.”

“Don’t you at least want to…”

“What?”

“Well, at least explain why you did it?”

As it happened, Alfie wasn’t exactly the sort of man to explain himself. To anyone. To be quite honest, you were beginning to wear out his patience a little, but he endured it because despite what he kept telling himself, he really was that fond of you. He could tell you really didn’t mean to judge him; it looked like you were genuinely that obsessed with books. So Alfie decided to bear it. For you.

“It’s the pages I like,” he murmured, adding an affirmative grunt that was meant to highlight this to be the extent of his explanatory abilities.

“What, all of them?” You shook your head. “But you only checked it out a month ago. So you either did it on purpose just to vex me or… Or I don’t know. Why did you do that?”

That was the moment that everything clicked for him and suddenly it was no more cotton or sawdust. Alfie chuckled and put down his glass to lift up the book again.

“No, it’s ‘cause this one’s mine, luv.”

He then showed you the last page and your eyes widened in pure horror. There was no library stamp there, but Alfie’s name instead. You traced it with your fingers as if expecting this to be a trick.

“No, but… This can’t be true,” you simply decided and Alfie chuckled at your defiance.

“Afraid it is, yeah. I do read, y’know.”

“No, but… But what do you mean you loved it?”

For some reason you insisted on knowing that bit and Alfie was beginning to regret his initial wish for you getting to know him a little better. As it happened, he found the notion to be known deeply uncomfortable and was kicking himself for having said otherwise.

“Right, ‘cause it’s probably my favourite book.”

“No, but it can’t be!”

“I… dunno what to tell ya.”

“No, because it’s my favourite book!”

You suddenly stood up from your seat and Alfie found himself a little puzzled; as he often did in your company, to be perfectly honest. But there you were, looking at him with those doe eyes and demanding an explanation he simply couldn’t give—the prolonged agony of which was only heightened by how close you two were standing. Alfie decided then to do the thing he will most likely come to regret, but sod it. He really wanted to.

He leaned in and kissed you, knowing full-well that, you being you, the night would end with him getting a black eye, as well as being sacked. Probably.

Only… You kissed him back. Or perhaps it was the rum, Alfie couldn’t really tell that feeling of a headrush apart from being drunk—but then your hands were at his sides and you were pulling him in by the shirt and maybe it was the rum, but he distinctly felt you kissing him back.

He obliged you and deepened the kiss, cupping your face in his hands, because honestly… As of late, not a second went by when Alfie didn’t catch himself wanting to touch you. You pulled away first and he almost expected you to run away from him, but you didn’t. You were smiling and so he leaned in closer and gently traced your lower lip with his thumb, savouring the moment that he was pretty sure covered all eight of his gifts for the year.

“I’m…” You tried to say something, but clearly your words escaped you.

It was fine by him; usually not one to stay silent, Alfie felt himself enjoying the feeling. He couldn’t tell if that was your first kiss or not, but he wouldn’t really mind if you decided never to kiss anyone else but him for the rest of your days.

“I really wouldn’t mind another drink, to be honest,” you said then and Alfie hummed in response, letting you go.

He poured another two and came back to stay close beside you, deeming the concept of personal space no longer in existence.

“And maybe a fire?” you proposed, accepting the drink with another bright smile.

“If you’re stayin’,” he replied, the underlying message being that if not, he couldn’t really be arsed; not tonight.

If you two were to have another drink and you’d leave, then that was fine by him—but he wasn’t about to take his eyes off of you for even a second.

“I can’t,” you stressed, understandably, and Alfie nodded with a little smirk.

“I know.”

You frowned before you took another sip, because this… Whatever this event turned into, it definitely wasn’t just having a friendly holiday drink with a colleague.

“You’re not…” You hesitated again and Alfie wondered if perhaps this was a thinly-veiled question whether he would kiss and tell.

He needed you to know that he wouldn’t.

“Listen, alright…” He huffed and looked down, uncharacteristically hesitant. Usually he was one to jump into a situation head-first, but when it came to you… Yeah, sod it. He came this far, he could give in one more inch.

“If this isn’t somethin’ you wanted, then nobody needs to know, right, we’re still colleagues.” Alfie took a step back to give you your space and put down his glass on the mantelpiece; just in case you wanted to bolt for the door and he was in your way.

“No, that’s not it.” Gone were the doe eyes and back with the frown, you looked away; leaving Alfie with exactly nothing. As per usual, he couldn’t figure you out.

“I simply can’t believe your favourite book is my favourite book,” you explained and smiled at him brightly, then touched your mouth a little absent-mindedly. “I suppose… Isn’t that something?”

Yeah, it really was. To be perfectly honest, Alfie was just about ready to dig up Emily Brontë from her slumber six feet under and give her a proper “thank you” kiss, Heathcliff style.

“Yeah, luv. I think it is,” he agreed, pulling you back into an embrace.

For the time-being, he was perfectly content just as he was—with you close beside him, your eyes smiling at him so full of promise and possibilities.

(And by fuck, he really was going to get a second chair for his office—first thing, in fact.)

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