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captainillogical · 4 years

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Distant Lands Ch.17

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

You're frozen. It's as if all your muscles and your brain decided to stop functioning altogether. You had so, so much to say to her, and yet you can't seem to form any words.

Her face hasn't changed - it's only been hours since you've seen her, but she's already been through several weeks without you. Without anyone. Her eyes study your face, roaming over your features and hair as if she’s looking at a ghost.

“Yeah,” Is all you can manage to say, still out of breath as you try to think of anything, anything to say to her. “I-”

"You’ve been alive?” She asks - cutting you off, voice full of disbelief, and the tired relief that you had seen in her eyes suddenly changes to something else.

“Spinel, I-”

“You’ve been alive this entire time?” She asks again, voice cracking. She blinks, and you see small tears forming in her eyes. Your stomach drops. Oh god, she can't be thinking..

"Yes, and no. Let me explain," You try, calmy, as panic starts to flood your brain.

"You.." She trails off, and you watch her face as she goes through several series of emotions - coming to some kind of conclusion in her mind. She blinks again, leaving her eyes closed for a second to steady herself, and when she opens her eyes again to look at you, her expression changes to one you haven’t seen on her in what feels like a very long time. "You left me here."

"Not intentionally!" You reply, horrified at her words. "Believe me, they took-"

"So you knew?" Her voice wavers, underlying anger in her tone.

"You're not letting me explain myself!" You feel like you're about to throw up, this isn't how you wanted anything to go.

"What's there to EXPLAIN when all the facts are here, huh, Y/N?" She's shaking a little, and you can see the pent up frustration in her form. "You disappeared on me, letting me think you were dead FOR WEEKS, I-" She chokes on her words, balling her fist.

"Spinel, I didn't DISAPPEAR," You say, taking a couple steps towards her, and reach towards her shaking fist to grasp it. "I'm trying to tell you that-" She suddenly grabs your wrist to stop you from touching her, and you feel your eyes widen in shock.

"I CAME SO CLOSE TO-" The sound of rapid footsteps interrupts her, and she whips her head over to the staircase.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER." You hear Steven angrily shout from behind you, and you freeze in place. This cannot be happening.

"Steven, wait-"

"Y/N get away from her, now." You hear him materializing his shield in his hands.

"Universe." Spinel spits out with distaste, and drops your wrist like dead weight. "Of course you'd show up."

"Couldn't kill her the first time, so you're trying to finish her off now!?" He exclaims, rushing up to your side with his shield up. You're so mortified that you're speechless.

Spinel lowers her eyes to the teen, facial expression bordering on dangerous as she lifts her shaking fist. "Ya' wanna say that aga-"

"STOP!!!" You scream, because this is about to go very wrong, very quickly if you don't put a stop to it. "BOTH OF YOU."

"Y/N-"

"Steven, I need you to leave." You say bluntly, nerves blurring the edges of your vision. Steven angrily whips his face to yours.

"No, I don't trust her to-"

"To what, exactly, Universe? What do ya’ think I’m gonna do?” She interrupts him, face absolutely twisted with quiet anger.

"You said you trusted me. You're only making this worse." You look at him, as he's eye level with you. You're trying to be calm. "I'll meet you at the ship in a couple minutes."

"Yeah, I trust YOU. NOT HER." He says, pointing to Spinel aggravatedly. "And I'm not leaving until we're all leaving."

You want to scream. You literally have like, no choice in this.

"I'm not going anywhere." Spinel says, and you turn to look at her. She's got her face angrily fixed on Steven's.

"Fine with me." Steven retorts. You give him a particular look before turning back to Spinel.

"Spinel.." It comes out of you half-broken - this isn't what you wanted to happen at all. She looks over to you as she hears your voice.

"I wanted you to come home with me." And maybe when you say it, it comes out small, and sort of pathetic sounding. Her tense shoulders visibly deflate a little at that, and her eyes look at you vulnerably - she looks like she wants to say so much, but won't because of the other presence standing in the room.

"I.." She looks back over to Steven, and lets out a small sigh.

"I wasn't going to take no for an answer." You say, and when her eyes meet yours again, the emotion you feel behind her gaze makes you want to hug her desperately.

But you have a feeling that it would be best saved for a time where Steven wasn't also present. You also need to talk to him alone, but.. god. This is all too much for you, honestly. You know you’re barely hanging on by a thread here, but you’re trying your hardest to save your meltdown for when you’re alone. You haven’t had a chance to er.. really think about everything that’s happened to you in the last two to three days.

Steven clears his throat. “Can we go?”

“Let me explain everything on the way back home?” You say, still looking at Spinel and not even regarding Steven. “It’s a.. lot.”

She looks at you hesitantly, body language stiff as all hell with a scowl on her lips.

“Fine.” She says curtly, with a shrug.

Steven de-materializes his shield in hand, and turns around to head back down the staircase behind him. You move to follow him - but not before looking back at Spinel, who’s standing there awkwardly.

She opens her mouth to say something, but upon seeing Steven stop on the staircase to glance back at you two she closes it abruptly - brushing past you instead. You wish so badly to be able to stop time to talk to her right now, just the two of you. But you know that you’ll have time - all the time you need after this, and you’ll be safe and at home. You just hope she doesn’t hate you.

She mainly sticks pretty close to you as the three of you walk back in near silence. In any other circumstance you’d joke with her that she’s becoming clingy, but her body language is unlike how you’ve ever really seen her. She’s uncomfortable and angry, that much you can tell just by knowing her. There's also nervousness as well. She’s not keen on walking anywhere near Steven, understandably.. You don’t know how you’re going to get past this second impression they now have of each other, but you should probably sort that before he tries telling the others some kind of.. misunderstanding. This doesn’t need to be even more complicated.

“Before we get to the others, Steven..” You say, glancing at him while walking briskly. You will not miss the jungle here, or any of this planet. He turns his face towards you.

“Yeah?” He answers. You feel Spinel’s arm brush against yours.

“What you saw back there wasn’t an altercation. You just walked up at like, the worst possible moment. Spinel wouldn’t lay a hand on me, I want to make this clear.” You see her take a small glance at you - she seems to be almost surprised at your words.

“Yeah, I came to that conclusion about five minutes ago.” He says, glancing at you. “If she really wanted to she would’ve tried attacking us by now - before we got back to the gems, you know, because tactically she’d have the advantage.”

“I would’ve done it up on the Spire, actually.” She speaks up from beside you.

"Hey, what. Don't say that." You retort. "I'm trying to defend you, here."

She gives you a noncommittal shrug. “It’s not like I was gonna hurt anyone.”

"I know that, Spinel. It's just, none of them do."

"Well, we're pretty close to the ship now." Steven interjects, and you can see the pink of the ship through the trees. Finally. "Anything left here that you need to grab before we go?"

"I grabbed the only thing that mattered, I'm good. Let's just get outta here." You say, and you can see Spinel sparing a glance at your face.

"This planet doesn't seem that bad, honestly." Steven says casually, looking up at the night sky. You can see the others waiting outside the ship now, and they're all looking in your direction.

"You weren't stuck here for a month." You retort.

"Fair point." He says, and by the time you get over to the others you're already calming down your nerves about the other gems and Spinel. You hope no more misunderstandings happen. It's weird, how all this has gone down. You were honestly hoping that you'd get a better chance at an introduction, but this is kind of on par for your life at this point.

"Y'all ready?" Amethyst half yells out, hand on her hip in a relaxed pose. "Pearl's got the ship on standby."

"Please." You say tiredly. Garnet nods at you, turning around and stepping inside the ship. The rest of them walk in, and you turn to see Spinel standing there hesitantly, looking at the entrance.

"You're coming, right?" You ask her.

"Yeah.. it's just been a while, seeing this thing up close." She says, looking up at the entirety of the height of the ship.

"It's just this once, if it makes you feel any better." You take a long last look at the planet around you, and flip the sky off. It makes you feel a weird sense of accomplishment. Fuck these moons, fuck this sun, fuck this whole place. "Better than being stuck here."

"You're right on that." She says, brushing past you and entering the ship, you trailing right behind her.

You hear the doors hiss shut behind you.

"So." Garnet says, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at you. Pearl's typing something on the console in front of her.

"Uh, yeah.." You glance over to Spinel, who looks completely out of place beside you. "Let's start over. This is Spinel."

"We know that, dingus." Amethyst chuckles.

"Yeah, well, there's no more murder plot, so let's clear that off the table." You reply, feeling a lot of relief drain from your body as you see you've left Golgotha's atmosphere entirely.

"For her, maybe." Pearl pipes in, not even turning around. "There's still always gonna be others out there that want to kill Steven."

"She doesn't seem like she's consumed by anger anymore, regardless." Garnet says calmly, leaning on the wall behind her casually.

"I'm right here." She looks over to them irritably.

"Well, you already know who I am." Steven looks over to her, eyes trailing to the gem on her chest. "For the record, I'm really, really sorry about what my mom did to you. Y/N told us all about it."

"It's.. fine." She says with a shrug, face thoughtful as she regards him. She still seems a little off to you, but it's not like you can just pull her aside and talk with her. "I've had some time to think it over, and while I maybe would've done things a bit differently, that's in the past now."

"Wow, if only Pearl could've got over her that quickly."

"Amethyst!" Pearl squawks from the computer, face whipping around - expression wholly offended.

"...and I'm Garnet." Garnet says with a little smile, and you feel like smacking your face against the side of the ship to escape this.

There's utter silence for a beat or two, and you can see Steven's face trying to not laugh at that as he pulls a hand up to rub at his forehead. You hear a small snort off to your side, and you whip your head over to Spinel, who's shaking a little trying to keep in laughter. You feel something like relief blossom inside you.

"You guys are ridiculous. Of course she'd keep you as friends." She says, and strangely enough, there's no bitterness in her tone like you'd expect.

"Normally I'd be insulted by that, but I'll take it as a compliment." Amethyst grins at Spinel. "But enough about us. I wanna hear about what you guys did on this planet for that long without killing each other."

"We were mainly concerned with trying to find a way off, actually. That, and exploring the mystery of the disappearance of those previous gems." Spinel replies.

"We wouldn't have had to find a way off if you hadn't destroyed the warp pad in the first place, but, I digress." You hear your voice ring out throughout this ship’s main control room.

"I wouldn't have had to destroy the warp pad if I wasn't watching my live bait try to escape me." She whips her face to you, narrowing her eyes a little.

"Don't call me live bait, you ass! And if you were a smarter gem, you would've realized that humans can't even use the warp pad by themselves." You retort. "You played yourself."

"How was I supposed to know that?" She scoffs. "Tech goes through many changes after a few thousand years!"

"Wow, you guys really get along." Amethyst chuckles, watching the both of you in amusement.

"I would like to hear more about what you guys found on the surface, actually." Pearl brings a finger to her lip in question. "You mentioned the existence of the gem eater earlier, but how did you two not realise it was there sooner? Did it not make any noise? Considering the condition you were in when we picked you up, I’d figure it would’ve made itself obvious.."

"It was pretty quiet, actually.. aside from those quakes.." You trail off, realizing something. "Spinel, remember that night on the hill?"

She looks at you for a second, as if she doesn't understand what you're saying, and then you see her eyes light up when she understands what exactly you're implying.

"Oh god, and that day in the kindergarten." She replies, putting a hand to her mouth in slight shock.

"And you wanted to go in! Remember!?" Jesus christ, you're never going to doubt your gut instinct ever again. You both could've died then.

"Well, I'm glad your stubbornness really paid off there." She crosses her arms, sighing. "Otherwise, well.. you know. Anyway, before anything else, you said you'd explain what happened before.. and I haven't even gotten an explanation as to why you're pink."

You feel yourself choke for a second, almost forgetting what you look like now. "Right. I've been trying to get there. It's a lot to take in. What did you last remember?"

"Before that thing went flying off the cliff? Only that you had said the air was affecting me."

"Yeah, you have no idea. Made you completely useless, Spinel. I'm pretty sure it was some kinda pheromone to lure gems in."

"Huh, it did smell kinda weird.." She furrows her eyebrows, clearly thinking. "I hate that I was sort of right about it being a monster."

"You guys had no other clues?" Steven asks.

"No, as I said, the data logs were pretty corrupted."

"Yeah we were basically sitting blind, there." Spinel confirms, looking around at everyone. "I tried to restore it, but wasn't very lucky."

"Anyway, we walked into its nest, Spinel. You almost got me killed several times in there. That thing was blind and stupid like a bull, probably from sitting down there for thousands of years.."

"..and we brought dinner right to it." She stares at you, blinking.

"Yup." You say.

"We're so stupid." She shakes her head in disbelief.

"You’re telling me. How do you think I felt when I realized where we were standing?” You sigh. “All the injectors were piled in there as well. The thing probably drank from them like some kinda fucked up juice box, ugh, it was awful. And the worst part was, I had to realize by myself that it ate all those missing gems, and that’s why the cave walls were so sparkly. Grinded gems into wall paste, how fucked up is that?”

Spinel looks at you, brows drawn forward in horror as everything you just said sets in.

“It grinded them into dust?” Amethyst chimes in, voice full of disgust.

“That’s pretty terrible.” Garnet shakes her head slowly. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone.”

“You saved my life.” Spinel stares at you, expression almost strange.

“Twice.” You reply. “I’m going to have nightmares for that.”

"So when I came to, that's when you, er-" She stumbles on her words, getting this weird look in her eyes as she rips her gaze from yours. "-pushed me, and it slid off the cliff."

"It fell to its death?” Pearl looks at you, perplexed. “With a wound that size, I was expecting you to tell us something a little more.. dramatic than that.”

“Look, it was coming very fast, and I had to think quickly. I just wasn’t expecting the tail end of it to whip around and pierce me like a kabob, you know?” You say, and Steven gives you a funny look.

“Y/N, don’t ever say it like that again, it’s too soon.” He shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Today has really been taking its toll on me.”

“You’re telling me.” You return the look Steven gives you, a bit more flatly. “Regardless, after that Spinel tried taking me back to the Spire, but I was bleeding so much that I made her stop to set me down before I bled out.”

“And that’s where we found you, dying.” He sighs, and you can see how tired he is. “I’m still kind of shaken up about it.”

“Ehh, buddy, she’s fine.” Amethyst says casually, putting her hands on her hips in a resting position. Steven gives her a pained face.

“She died. I thought she wasn’t going to wake up, it’s not li-”

“Wait.” Spinel interjects, her face looking distraught. “What do you mean she died, she-” She abruptly stops herself, silence ringing out around the room as she moves into your personal space - grabbing your shirt to lift up and look at the scar on your stomach.

“-SPINEL!” You hiss out, slapping her hands down and pulling your shirt back. She isn’t phased though, and her face is utterly confused.

“Why does..”

“I have healing powers.” Steven says bluntly. Spinel’s eyes trail back up to yours, and she’s got this look in her eye you can’t quite place.

“You would’ve died.” She says it almost quietly, like she’s trying to wrap her head around it.

“I did die, Spinel.” You watch her eyes as they waver between yours, and you can see one of her hands trembling.

“But you still sent me to get those supplies.. was.. was I gonna come back to your b-”

“Let’s not dwell on all the ‘what if’s’ today.” You say, stopping her from going down that particular thought path, unable to honestly even think about that. You’d rather not spontaneously burst into tears right here, right now, in front of everyone. “Hm.. I haven’t actually told any of you this, but..”

Steven looks at you - like he’s worried you’re going to die right now on the spot you’re standing in.

“Before I woke up, earlier.. I had this really, really fucking weird dream. Steven, I think I saw your mom? Her voice sounded a bit like the one from your tape - you know the one. And I was in this endless pink field? It was fucking weird.”

Steven stares at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask him, feeling a little odd.

“Was there a tree on a hill?” He asks you back, face unchanging.

“Uh.” You say. “Yeah?”

“Huh.” He makes a face, perturbed. “Maybe I should ask Lars about that when we get back.”

“Why?” You blink at him.

“Because that wasn’t a dream, and I think you spoke to my mom. Which is weird.”

“Okay, I’m not even gonna ask what that’s all about, because I wanna know why you guys keep actin’ like all this just happened in the last day.” Spinel spits out in frustration, looking like she’s about to start pacing.

“It did.” Pearl speaks up from over by the console, turning her face to look at Spinel. “We didn’t realize it at the time when we came to pick up Y/N, but that planet you decided to warp to, Golgotha? It runs at a much faster time on the surface.”

“What.” Spinel asks, more confused now than ever. “What does that mean?”

“For the rest of us, you only came to attack Steven and kidnap Y/N just this morning.” Pearl says, brows drawn curiously. “You poofed Amethyst, and she took her sweet time coming back earlier.”

“Hey!” Amethyst throws a glare at Pearl several feet away.

Spinel looks off to the side, suddenly quiet and unmoving.

“I last saw you just a few hours ago, so everything is still fresh in my mind..” You trail off, watching her. You think she’s having a difficult time processing this.

“Y/N went a little crazy there when she found out about it actually, and demanded that we come get you immediately. I haven’t seen her like that in a loooong time, haha.” Steven says with a half-hearted laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

“She even threatened to steal a ship to come get you if we didn't.” You feel a little like Garnet is implying something with the way she says that, but you ignore it. Or maybe it’s because you can tell when she’s trying to hide a smile.

Spinel lifts her face slightly - eyes trailing over to yours, settling there. The room isn’t cold, far from it actually - you’re pretty warm, and yet you feel goosebumps on your arms. Her gaze lingers there, giving you a long hard look. You know her enough by now to be able to tell that she’s hiding a lot of emotion for some reason, but you can see it in the way she looks at you softly. Your heart hurts. You want to hug her.

“So you.. didn’t just forget about me there.” She says, and it comes out hesitant and quiet. Her eyes are still locked with yours.

“No. I would never.” You hear yourself say with a shake of your head, and you mean it. She looks like she’s about to say something but stops herself - taking in a breath instead, and tearing her eyes away from yours as you see a swell of emotion in her gaze.

“Soooooo. Not to ruin a moment, but like, but where is Spinel going to stay? I really can’t wait to go home and pass out and stuff, today has kinda blown, not gonna lie.” Amethyst says casually, blowing a piece of her hair out of her face.

“Oh, you’re right.” Steven crosses his arms, chewing his lip in thought. “I hadn’t thought of that. She can stay on the couch tonight, and I’ll go talk to Bismuth and the others about getting her a place to live in. That is, if she wants to be on Earth.”

Spinel looks over to Steven, slightly confused. “What’s my other option?”

“You could go back to Homeworld.” He offers.

“I think I’ll stay on Earth for a while. I’ve got a couple things I’d like to do.” She replies with minimal thought to it, looking right at you. You feel a little like the others seem to notice this, and you feel a bit self conscious about it.

“A lot of gems came over to Earth once they got the freedom to. I think you’ll like it.” Steven says, a small smile forming on his lips.

“Yeah Earth’s alright.” Amethyst shrugs.

“Y/N told me a bit about Little Homeworld, back on Golgotha.” Spinel says. “Said you had quite a few classes.”

“Did she now?” Steven eyes you with a slight grin, making you nervous. “I knew she was proud of it, even if she acted like helping me plan some of the classes was a chore.”

“I sooo did not.” You reply to him, offended.

“We’ll be back on Earth in five minutes, by the way.” Pearl taps on the console in front of her.

“You totally did! Anyway, Spinel, there’s a few I have in mind that you might find yourself benefitting from, if you want any suggestions.” You feel like Steven’s about to pull out one of the pamphlets, so you put a hand up to stop him.

“We can sort out the fine details later, I’m too tired to think about all of this right now,” You say with a sigh, utterly exhausted. You think you deserve some sleep after all of this.

“She’s right, we have time.” Steven stretches his arms over his head and yawns loudly. “And I’m utterly beat from today. If this could not happen again for a while, that’d be great.” Spinel gives him a small guilty face at that.

“Yeah, you know anyone else that Pink pissed off?” Amethyst says bluntly.

“Amethyst.” You nearly spit out. “You can’t just ask that.”

“What, it’s a valid question.” She shrugs, rolling her eyes.

You hear Spinel stifle a snort, and when Steven starts to chuckle the rest of them start to laugh, giggles filling the ship’s main deck.

You sigh, unable to stop the small smile that’s starting to spread across your face.

Maybe things will be okay.

By the time you get off the ship and the rest of them have dispersed into their rooms to rest, it leaves just you, Spinel and Steven in the living room together.

“The bathroom’s right there if you need it for some reason, just let me go grab my spare blankets for you realll quick.” Steven points to the bathroom door as he walks over to the utility closet, pulling out his favorite spares. “I don’t know if you sleep, a lot of gems don’t. Pearl doesn’t, and Garnet’s more of a.. meditator. But the couch is comfy enough until we can get you your own place tomorrow.”

“You guys are doing too much for me, and it’s honestly more than I deserve.” Spinel says, watching him as he walks back over, setting the blankets down on the nearest couch cushion.

“Hey, don’t say that. If I had that attitude for all other gems that tried to kill me, I wouldn’t be friends with Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis. And er, Pearl in some cases too..” He trails off, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. He shakes his head, as if to clear it. “Anyway, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I might’ve rushed into thinking the worst possible thing immediately, and that’s unfair to you, Spinel.”

“I..” She looks kind of speechless, like she wasn’t expecting that from him at all. “Well, it’s not like I gave you any reason to think anything else from me. You don’t need to be sorry.”

“I don’t like leaving things unsaid.” He replies with a grin. “I’m going to go pass out before my body does it for me, right here. Try not to be loud if you get curious and explore my house, I’ll be sleeping over there.” He points to his loft bed, a single eyebrow raised. “Peridot’s woken me enough times in the middle of a deep sleep, my body’s reaction is to just start throwing things at noise now.”

“Yeah, he’s thrown things at me when I’ve accidentally tripped going to the bathroom.” You say with disdain, giving him a face.

“Blame Peridot!” He grins, turning around to walk up his stairs. “Anyway, goodnight you two! And Y/N I swear to god you better get some sleep. You guys can talk in the morning.” He shoots one last glare at you before you see him disappear into his covers.

You look over to Spinel, and she’s already over by the couch. The house is quiet now, moonlight coming in through the windows, early morning approaching probably in another hour or so. She sits down, looking out of the window towards the ocean. You watch her dark silhouette and you feel some kind of weight lift from your shoulders, taking comfort in the fact that she’s right here, and she’s safe. She seems almost small here in Steven’s living room, and you wonder how this is the same angry, violent gem you met weeks ago.

Yesterday, technically. You don’t want to think about that anymore.

You stand there unmoving, tired. She looks back over you, and you feel all the energy drain out of your body, shoulders sagging. You take a deep breath, letting the air drain out of your lungs slowly.

You want to say something.

Anything.

You stare at each other. She blinks, and you can see her pupils trail over the details of your face as if she’s trying to memorize it. She opens her mouth slightly, clearly she’s trying to say something - but she closes her mouth instead. She looks away, momentarily, and you can see that she’s looking over in Steven’s direction.

Her gem shines in the dark of the room, and your eyes want to stay fixated on it.

She looks back over to you - taking a deep breath and exhaling it ever so slowly, chest moving with it.

“Y/N.” She says, very quietly, and you can see her wringing her hands nervously. You can hear your own heart beating in your ears. Your heart and brain are screaming at each other right now, but you can’t hear the words.

“I’m going to sleep.” You say, turning around to go to your room like some kind of fucking idiot.

#spinel x reader #spinel #su #steven universe #distant lands #my fic #hahahahaha

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starswerealigned · 3 years

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thirty questions that actually aren't exactly thirty questions: tag game!

tagged by: @tomhollad, thanks i'll be chaotic about it. as usual.

rules: answer 30 questions and tag some blogs you want to know better

i posted it earlier but it glitched and i got angry and now i must do it all over again😻

name/nickname: isabelle, often ppl call me either belle or izzie.

gender: evil hag. but, also female.

star sign: aquarius.

height: 1.78m (i suppose it's 5'10? correct me. please.)

time: 15:05.

birthday: february 8th (IT'S FUCKING COMING. OH NO.)

favorite bands: paramore, queen, joy division, garbage, nine inch nails, third eye blind, the used, pixies, the smashing pumpkins, oasis, the cure, t.a.t.u., florence + the machine, blink-182, the cranberries, the runaways, little mix, deftones.

favorite solo artists: lady gaga, bob dylan, bruce springsteen, taylor swift, marina, lorde, michelle branch, jewel, imogen heap, lily allen, alanis morissette, sufjan stevens, britney spears, avril lavigne, shakira, p!nk, soko, adele, leonard cohen.

song stuck in my head: crying in public by chairlift.

last film: the holiday (2006)!!!! i love nancy meyers so much. y'all don't know how much this woman made my life brighter with her films. i love to rewatch this one every december.

last series: law & order: svu. a classic. love this series since i was around seven years old. ages like wine.

when did i create this blog: may 2015. dude i have it half a decade. what am i still doing in this hellsite?!? idek either

what do i post: this tumblr is like my brain. stuff i like and stuff i dislike. chaotic inside and outside. no regrets at all.

last thing googled: émile durkheim. i was doing an essay and powerpoint of how important him, max weber and karl marx are important for sociology forever and how it can affect their thoughts to us and we don't even notice it. smart, huh?

other blogs: i don't have. all of trash you can see only here.

do i get asks: sometimes. i'm aloof af. and ppl maybe think i'm intimidating. or i'm weird. which last one is tru, idk if i'm that scary. am i that scary?!? definitely yes am i rite ladies😻

why i chose my url: it's about right, critical, opportune moment. and also "the moment i knew" by taylor swift rights.

following: 440

followers: 542

average hours of sleep: 9/10 hours. yes, i'm probably a feline. cats live-action didn't cast me, sadly. i wish i was together with gandalf and drinking tea with him talking about books.

lucky number: 8. since i was 8 years old i knew this number was into some good shit into me. this number is my safe harbour. now i can't stop listing into my mind why this number made so many great changes into my life.

instruments: flute, harmonica, guitar and piano.

what am i wearing: pink peonies sweatpants and an asleep kitten with his belly shown with words saying "if you love me, please... just let me sleep" t-shirt. i never go out of style.

dream job: judge!!!!

dream trip: new york, london (lu, vamos juntas!!!! dois iguaizinhos k), oslo, reykjavik, helsinki, tallinn, osaka.

nationality: MORO EM UM PAÍS TROPICAL brazilian

favourite song: of all time? all star by smash mouth. no joke, it made my childhood and i have great memories listening to it. i grew up watching shrek when i went to blockbuster.

last book read: women who run with wolves by clarissa pinkola estés. y'all must read more women in literature.

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: no fictional universes, real life has appeal if you aren't alienated.

tagging: whoever is up to do it. but also these adorable ppl: @roadwhores (i had to do it again, i'm so sorry lololol) @katya-zamos @lncendies2010 @biglittlewomen @shikiswife @signsbeforeexile @paddingtonbears @lesyeuxdevie @rebekahgaveup @shiprolledin @millakunis @maziekeen.

#tag games #if it glitches again i'll never do another tag game again #make my words

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love-takes-work · 4 years

Photo

Fire Salt Fries

This is a terrible recipe, but if you want to do it (or just use the idea for inspiration for putting condiments in test tubes for your next Steven Universe party), see my instructions below!

See more SU food tutorials!

"Hey Steven, wanna try some SPECIAL new french fries?"

"HHHHHHHOOOOT!!"

"They're SPECIAL cause they're seasoned with FIRE SALT!"

So the Fire Salt Donuts were one of my first SU recipes, but I realized I've never tried to actually make spicy hot seasoning to put on fries before.

I thought it would be super horrible to put hot sauce on donuts, so my Fire Salt Donuts just crackle with Pop Rocks while actually tasting sweet. But hot seasoning can definitely go on FRIES!! How can we make it?

First, get some plain old frozen fries and cook them in an oven or deep fryer according to package directions.

(Unless you want to make your own fries from fresh potatoes, but it's really not necessary. Let's focus on the condiment!)

I decided to make it 3x hot. With hot sauce, chili pepper flakes, and cayenne pepper.

I glugged out the hot sauce into a dish and added some shakes of the other two.

Mixed it up carefully! My eyes were watering.

What you should know is...I am a HUGE wimp when it comes to spices. I hate this. I hate all of this. So no making fun of me that my hot sauce isn't an overwhelmingly hot type or if you hate that kind. I'm already WAY out of my comfort zone.

If I want this hot sauce to look stylish, it's only appropriate that I design tubes, right? I gotta!

I bought some cheap test tubes and also found large pink jewels that measured the same size as the tubes' corks. I got them together with my glue gun.

Glued jewels onto each cork with the hot glue.

Cool! Looks like we're ready to make history.

So to avoid a mess and waste, I used a small funnel to get the Fire Salt in the tubes.

Cool.

Hey! The fries are done.

I salted them with regular salt and then uncorked one of my vials of pain.

I got them nice and covered.

And then I put them in a cup like Amethyst had hers. (This one's left over from when I made Beach Citywalk Fries cups for Fry Bits at a party!)

Ooh.

Look at them. Hot and frightening.

Y'all I was so scared of this stuff!

But I just couldn't make a recipe and not TRY IT, right?

Here's proof I ate some:

I felt like my lips were stinging after I ate this. And then I went and ate the entire hot fries cup full. I didn't LIKE how it tasted but it didn't bother me or freak me out. Weird huh?

It's still a mystery to me why people like spicy food but if you do, you should really try this! And since it's really easy, it's a fun, flashy accessory to Fry Bits for your next Steven Universe party!

See more SU food tutorials!

#steven universe #food #joking victim #hot sauce #myblog

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toooldforfandom-liveblogs · 4 years

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Gravity Falls S02E10 - Northwest Mansion Mystery

I'm surprisingly excited about the return of the Northwests after that glimpse of character depth we had of Pacifica back in Golf War. I doubt she'll ever be 100% likable but she doesn't have to be to be a fun character to explore. So, let's do this!

What an economic way to remind us the type of people Pacifica's parents are. Two lines is all they needed.

Less than a minute in and I already love where this is going.

Shortened op song? ooh, this episode is gonna be good

I'm in this picture and I don't– actually, I wish I was in this picture, that looks like comfy.

Gravity Falls TV continues to be amazing.

Never let it be said that Dipper is not a man of his word.

I hadn't noticed but that's a really good sweater. Like most of them.

NW's Manor is even more amazing that I expected.

Oh no. My worst fear has come upon me. They'd look _cute_ together.

Nevermind, this b-plot is my worst fear.

WHY DIPPER WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

This is your fault, Dipper.

Wow

cool cool cool, that's just great

biggest lore drop right here

This is so stupid. I love it.

...i'd try it.

Grenda is a certified expert in negging.

Oof. Of course it makes no sense for Dipper but we _know_ how terrible Pacifica's parents are and she knows she's who's going to have to deal with them afterwards.

These kids are never going to learn.

Trapping someone, even a ghost, in a mirror for eternity feels a bit... bad for your karma. But maybe I'm having Steven Universe flashbacks.

Who are you trying to impress, Dipper?

That's the Dipper I know.

This feels very end-episodey but it's only half way through. Are we going to find out about the Northwest's dark past?

A blue being trapped in a mirror revealing truths untold to the protagonist. Hmm.

Damn, he was really articulate and specific in his final moments.

Congratulations Gravity Falls, you're making me fell bad about Pacifica Northwest of all people. Who, as you can probably remember, was (is?) _the worst_.

Fuuuuuuuuck this guy.

He dying from a mudslide and the mention of mud tracking in their favorite carpet makes me think he's going to somehow summon exactly that. And they deserve it.

That's a very delicate mirror.

I hope Grenda teaches them a lesson.

That's the face of a boy who just became a man.

...do all ghosts get superpowers based on their job? Because I just realized mine would be incredibly boring, cursing websites to make them load 2 seconds slower.

That's incredibly disturbing. And funny.

Welp, I guess this is Dipper and Pacifica's show now. Can't believe they'd change the cast so late in the season. I guess Mabel's VA was too expensive, with all that Bob Burgers money rolling in.

Huh. I guess this is Pacifica's show now. I guess Dipper's VA was too expensive, all that... actually, I have no idea what else the guy has done.

I thought I remembered that expression from somewhere and yup, here it is. As horrible as it was then.

Can you imagine Pacifica having to go live with Stan because her house is haunted and everyone she knows is wood? It'd be _hilarious_. And a bit sad, of course, but mostly hilarious.

WHY ARE THEY STILL ALIVE

Wow. That probably took more strength than most of Dipper's supernatural adventures. She... is not _the worst_ anymore, y'all.

His rhyming powers were powered by vengeance

Man knows what he likes

There wasn't a mud slide but this is even better.

The plot! The plot is back!

Noooooo, unless by tomorrow you mean next episode.

Wait, that really is imminent. Next episode, please?

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL IS COMING

Everything is coming together... but it's only episode 10? What's going on!?

STANISNOTWHATHESEEMS STANISNOTWHATHESEEMS STANISNOTWHATHESEEMS

Are we finally going to find out what's up with Stan!?

---

I've mentioned it before but I really like the "rich kid with bad parents learns how to be better than them" trope and this episode was exactly that. I can't believe I actually like Pacifica now. I thought she'd remain mostly the same with just more sympathizing about her situation but they went all the way and turned her into someone cool.

It helps that the writers reminded us how terrible her parents are in the first 30 seconds of the episode, with the comment about diversity and that bell (WTF IS WITH THAT BELL? _WOW_, what an awful thing to use to quiet down your kid!), so Pacifica ends up as "not that bad" even without doing anything. But she does. And it's great.

As an aside, I love that Dipper instantly became known as a mystery solver now that the society of the blind eye no longer exists to erase those memories from everyone affected by his adventures.

Mabel's B-plot wasn't as good as the main one, but Grenda's triumph was worth the awkward start.

And the episode ended with the promise of plot! That's everything I've ever wanted!

Excellent episode from beginning to end, I can't wait for the next one! Until next time!

#gravity falls #gravity falls liveblog #gf s02e10

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gaylotusthatexists · 5 years

Text

Not A Party Person

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing: Platonic Moxiety, Platonic Prinxiety, Platonic Analogical

Summary: Roman decides to throw a surprise birthday party for his roommate, Virgil, but not all goes to plan...

Word Count: 1886

Notes: it's virgil's birthday! yay! i wrote a thing to celebrate so here's a thing, hope y'all enjoy!

Taglist: @journalanxiety @applecantbebothered @quietwords-loudthoughts @xx-fandom-potato-xx @trash-can-so-do-i @bunny222 @phantomofthesanderssides @everythings-coming-up-aces @unknownanonymousgirl @tinkslittlebelle @jani-bunny54 @noahlovescoffee @unicorndragon1-2-3 @ab-artist @honeysucklingz

ao3

It was loud. Too loud. And the lights were so bright, and the warm was so warm, and Virgil felt suffocated. Why had his roommate thought this would be a good idea? Roman knew that Virgil wasn't a party person, and yet he had planned a surprise birthday party anyway. This should have been his day.

He had somehow found himself in Roman's bedroom, curled up on the beanbag that Roman had by his window. It was soft, comforting, and with the door shut tight, Virgil could feel safe. Of course, going to his own bedroom would have made more sense, and he would have done if it hadn't been for the crowd of people standing outside his door.

How had he even got himself in this mess?

Virgil thought back to a couple days ago, when the two roommates had been sat on the sofa in their apartment, with Steven Universe on in the background - Roman had chosen it, and Virgil had pretended to be annoyed, but they both knew he secretly loved it.

"When's your birthday?" Roman asked, out of the blue.

Virgil frowned. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Just out of curiosity."

"It's, uh..." Virgil hesitated. He had only been living with Roman for a couple months, since the two had started university, but the two were close. So close. It felt as if they had known each other for far longer. It should have been a surprise that Roman didn't already know Virgil's birthday, but at the same time, Virgil had never been one for birthdays. "It's this weekend," he finally said.

"What?!" Roman screamed, causing Virgil to flinch back. "This weekend? How didn't I know that?"

Virgil merely shrugged. "I, uh, I guess it never came up in conversation?"

Roman stared at him a shock. "We need to get ready, then, if it's so soon."

"No, no, it's fine," Virgil quickly said, waving his hands around as if it signal him to stop. "Really, I don't mind. You don't need to do or get anything for me."

"It's your birthday, Verge, of course I do!" Roman retaliated.

Virgil sucked in a breath of air. "Okay, if you... if you insist." A smile grew across Roman's face. "But... nothing too extravagant, okay?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Got it!"

He guessed that Roman didn't get it, at all. Virgil didn't even know half the people at this party. All he wanted to do was sleep, but the music blasting down the corridor was still too loud. Plus, anybody could have walked through that door. It wasn't even his room!

Virgil breathed in and out, and closed his eyes, willing for the throbbing in his head to go away. At some point Roman would notice that he had gone, and he'd come to find him, and Virgil would be forced back out there. Maybe he shouldn't have come back home tonight. What had he been doing before?

His friend, Logan, worked at the coffee shop down the road from their apartment. Sometimes Virgil would go in and just chill, grab a cup of hot chocolate maybe. Logan was always there to keep him safe.

"It's your birthday today, correct?" Logan asked, as he handed Virgil his usual cup of hot chocolate.

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, but, uh, I kinda wanted to keep in on the down-low, y'know?"

"I completely understand," Logan replied, and Virgil knew he was telling the truth. "I, too, find birthdays to be... stress-inducing."

Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God, I'm not the only one."

"Still, I insist that you take this drink on the house," Logan offered.

"Are... are you sure? I have the money ready..."

"Consider it a birthday present from me."

"Huh." Virgil smiled. "Thanks, dude."

"It's no problem," Logan said, as Virgil turned around and lifted himself up to sit on the counter. Nobody else was in the coffee shop, so he was able to sit wherever he liked. Logan never protested against it.

The two sat for a while in silence. At some point, Virgil got out his phone and began to scroll mindlessly through Tumblr, whilst Logan got out his book on astronomy or something and began to read. It was slowly starting to get dark outside, but Virgil didn't move at all. Earlier that morning, Roman had requested for him to not return to the apartment until after seven, anyway. Why, Virgil didn't know, or wanted to know, really.

"Are you planning on doing anything in celebrations?" Logan inquired.

"No- God, no," Virgil replied. "Literally just sitting here is perfect. I think Roman had something planned, though."

Logan frowned. "Roman?"

"My roommate," Virgil clarified. Strange - how had Virgil not told Logan about Roman before? Surely that would be something that he would have talked about. Maybe not. To be fair, a lot of the time the two did just sit in a comfortable silence.

"Well, let me know what happens," he requested. "And, of course, you can message me if you need to."

You can message me.

Virgil brought his phone out his pocket, and just managed to navigate to his messages with Logan, typing out a quick message with shaky hands.

8:56 Virgil: help

Immediately regretting his impulsive decision to text Logan that, he threw his phone to the floor a metre or so away. He swore he heard the sound of glass cracking. That thought was proven to be correct when his phone lit up, and he saw a crack running down the centre of his screen. Great.

Light flooded into the room. Virgil heard muffled voices outside, getting louder and louder, and footsteps echoing along the wooden floor, moving closer and closer. He grabbed his phone and shoved it in his pocket, before looking up to see what had happened. The door was wide open. A dark silhouette stood in the way of the light. Somebody had entered.

"I thought I-" The person stopped. His voice was one that Virgil didn't recognise, high-pitched and clear, calming in a way. But he clearly wasn't there for Virgil. He must have heard the glass or something and came to investigate. But then he noticed Virgil, and everything had gone wrong.

The stranger approached Virgil, crouching down so that he was eye level. But the room was dark, and Virgil could barely see him. Virgil tried to shuffle further back, but he was already right up against the wall.

"Are you okay?" the stranger asked, his soft voice filled with concern.

Virgil wanted to scream. To shout. To cry. To tell him that, no, he clearly wasn't okay. He could feel his eyeliner running down his face, indicating that he must have been crying. Ugh, that would be an amazing first impression.

"I'm going to take that as a no," the man said. "Is there anybody at this party who can help?"

"It's my goddamn party," Virgil mumbled, so quietly that surely the man couldn't have heard him.

And yet, he somehow had. "Wait, are you Virgil?"

Virgil nodded, slowly.

"How come you aren't out there, havin' fun?"

Virgil just pointed out the door, before bringing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them.

"You're overwhelmed," the man guessed.

Virgil nodded.

"Would it be better if I left?" he offered, beginning to stand up.

Virgil grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"You want me to stay?"

He nodded.

"Okay." The man sat down cross-legged, showing that he was willing to stay. "I'm Patton, by the way."

Virgil had managed to get his heartbeat back to normal, and the throbbing in his head had stopped. Maybe it was how calming Patton sounded, or just the fact that another person was there. Virgil lifted up a hand to wipe his tears away.

"Not much of a party person, huh?"

"Yeah, that, uh, that sounds right." Virgil's voice was deep and gravely, not sounding like it usually did at all. To be honest, he was almost surprised that he could speak at all.

"How come this is happening, then?"

Did this man really have to ask so many questions? Couldn't he have just left Virgil alone? Even so, Virgil still found himself replying.

"My idiot roommate thought it'd be a good idea."

"Roman, you mean?"

"No, I mean Venessa."

Patton looked confused.

"That was sarcasm. I do mean Roman."

"Oh." He laughed. "Roman is so nice, though. We've been friends for years. I'm sure if you just spoke to him-"

"I tried," Virgil interrupted. "He wouldn't let me get away with not celebrating my birthday."

Patton hummed. "Wait here a moment." He began to stand up. At first, Virgil protested, but stopped after Patton assured him that he would return.

Virgil took his phone out whilst he waited, seeing that Logan had messaged him back.

8:57 Logan: Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you want me to come round?

Virgil failed to hold back a smile. Logan really did care about him, huh. He quickly typed out a response.

9:14 Virgil: i'm fine now, don't worry. you don't need to come.

It took less than a second for Logan to respond.

9:14 Logan: Okay, that's good. Do message me if you change your mind, though.

Virgil locked his phone, just as Patton walked back into the room. The loud noises had stopped, and the lights had calmed down. Maybe it was just because Virgil was in a better place.

"Come on out," Patton said, reaching out a hand. "It's safe, I promise."

Hesitantly, Virgil touched the ends of Patton's fingertips, and allowed Patton to then wrap his fingers through Virgil's. He pulled Virgil up and helped him out the room, never taking an eye off him. Once they reached the hallway, Virgil realised that Patton was right - it was safe. Nobody, not a single person, was there. They all must have gone home.

They found Roman waiting for them on the sofa, with a Disney movie ready to play on the TV. His favourite Disney movie, as well - The Black Cauldron. Various snacks were laid out on the coffee table. Blankets covered the floor. Patton dragged Virgil over and allowed him to sit down, before pilling the blankets on top of him and sitting down next to him.

Roman wrapped his arm around Virgil's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Virgil gave him a weak smile. "It's fine. I, uh, I'm not angry at you."

"I just wish this could have gone to plan," Roman said. "I told everyone to leave, though. And set this up. Sorry it isn't much."

"Dude," Virgil said in disbelief. "This is literally all I wanted. Our movie nights are the best."

Roman let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I hope you don't mind Patton staying, though?"

"I don't mind. He's... sweet."

Patton smiled. "Really? That's what you think?"

"Yeah. What you did back there was... really great," Virgil said, burying himself deeper into the blankets. He could see Patton blushing out the corner of his eye. "But, uh, how 'bout we start the movie?"

Roman pressed play, and wrapped his arm tighter around Virgil, who proceeded to lean on his shoulder. Patton joined the huddle, stroking through Virgil's hair in a calming, swirling motion. And just like that, Virgil could finally relax. He was safe.

so there ya go! I hope y’all enjoy this :D feel free to like/reblog and all that jazz. and happy birthday to our boi virgil!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #moxiety #prinxiety #analogical #logan sanders #my fanfiction #my fanfic #my writing #virgil's birthday

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sweetpeachjones · 6 years

Text

YMUB pt. 7

Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6

A/N: Thank you for putting up with me

For my anon n @pupyluv247 xoxoxo

"Ugh, why is it so damn hot in Oakland?" You lie in your silk sheets tossing and turning desperately trying to find some comfort. It wasn't the temperature that had you going crazy like, your hormones were raging. It has been 3 weeks since you moved out and got your own place. Three weeks since you and Erik spoke. He would call and you ignored his calls you ended up changing your number altogether. He would come by the office and your secretary would block him. If he got belligerent security was called and he would leave but Erik was persistent and it was a matter of time before you had to face him. You decided on taking a cold shower before drifting off to sleep, however, your cell phone was almost begging you to call Erik. He didn't know where you lived and tonight wasn't the time to found out. The glow of the phone irritated you so much that you took the battery out and put it in ur drawer. Only then you were able to get some rest. The next morning after finishing your first appointment, you were waiting for your second when you received a call from the University. "Hello Mrs. Stevens" "Yes" "Oh hello this is Shelia from the Black Excellence committee and I wanted to inform you that you and your husband are going to be nominated with humanitarian of the year award." "Oh wow well I'm honored." "I'm glad you are you guys have done so much work for our city and beyond it's time you have been recognized. So the ceremony is Aug 11 a month from now and I will email you further details okay." "Okay, thanks so much." "No thank you and have a wonderful day." As soon as you hung up your secretary buzzed in about Erik calling. You told your secretary to say you were in a meeting. As your second appointment walked in. At 5 pm you prepared to leave as you walked out the door you smelled some familiar cologne you knew immediately who it was, you reached into your pocket and grabbed hold of your switchblade just in case. You stalking me now." You said flatly and kept walking. You didn't have to look back to know he was following you. "You can't keep ignoring me Y/N" "Wanna bet, what do you want" "You of course" "Oh thought I was unless to you." You turned as you walked in the parking deck Erik quickly follow seeing you walked to an unfamiliar car.

"What's this?, Where's your car?"

"None of your business but I bought this baby as soon as I moved out. I figured you would have some sort of tracker and found out where I am." You fiddled with the keys as you dropped them in water the other day, it has been malfunctioning since then. You pressed the unlock button only to have the car alarm go off. Frustrated u bang the keys on the roof, Erik silently watched you throw a temper tantrum. He calmly grabbed the keys from you pressed on some buttons, silenced the alarm and unlock your car door. He opened the door for you and waited til u got in. You said nothing as u got in and he slammed the door. You wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off his face as he waited for you to say something. You didn't you just started the car. "Is there something else you need." "Yeah, did u get the call from the school,?" "I did, and?" "Sooo we need to make arrangements to pick up" "No I'll meet you a block from the venue and we will ride up together so no one is suspicious." "Why can't I pick u up" "You seriously need to ask me that question, move out my damn way." You put the car in drive and pulled off unnecessarily hard. He jumped back just in time before you ran over his toes. The night of the ceremony You spent all day with your stylist and glam squad aka your sister and boy cousin and they primped and prepped for tonight evening. You settled on a rose gold evening gown with diamond accessories. Once done you looked like an Aphrodite herself. You had an Uber XL bring you to the designated spot you and Erik agreed upon. Erik was leaning against the car looking up and down the street apprehensively waiting on your vehicle. Once the driver pulled up he open your car door and you stepped out. Erik's jaw dropped as you walked towards him. He was looking extra delicious in his black tux and gold accessories. His gold slugs gleamed at you when his smiled and held out his arms awaited a hug. You hesitated but he wasn't having that as he pulled you in a tight bear hug. You almost melted being in those strong arms and he had the nerve to wear your favorite cologne you bought him. He was making it damn near making possible to have an orgasm off sight and smell alone. His hands were dangerously close to your ass as you pulled away. Any fondling and you would just have to have him. "Erik we have to go" We have time, he said as he leaned in closer to kiss your neck "Uh huh I ain't here for all of that." Girl bring your sexy ass here, grabbing ur waist, we need to get in character. Finally kissing his way on your neck and earlobe. You were minutes from giving in. "Erik", you whispered "Yea baby", he answered as his hands were creeping under ur skirt. If he went any further it would have been game over. "If you don't get your fucking hands from under my skirt, I swear your eyes gonna match your outfit." And with that, you pushed him away. He sucked his teeth, knowing u want it just trying to fight but let you win this round. He Chuckled and said "okay princess off to the ball" holding the car door open. You glared at him for his little smart ass comment as you climb in the vehicle. He still managed to slap your ass HARD. One pulling up to the venue, the site was immaculate, you couldn't wait to get out the car. You almost felt intoxicated breathing the same air as Erik. You needed a drink fast. As you stepped people were calling you to take pics, you felt like a star because this was your nite, well yours and Erik. Y'all pose for several pictures but looking like the happiest couple in the world. If they only knew. Inside were pictures of you two at various points of your humanitarian work. Pictures of y'all with kids from Sudan, Nigeria, South Africa you working alongside women making dinner, pics of Erik building with hospitals and schools with the locals. Relief efforts after earthquakes and flooding both of y'all dirty from hard work but happier as ever. You almost felt nostalgic about how good you felt working and those happy faces of the people you help and the long steamy showers with Erik after a days work. It was too much emotion at once and you couldn't get to the open bar faster. As you made your way to the open bar Erik followed you like a hawk. “What would you like to drink ma'am?” “I'll have a whiskey.” “She will have apple cider” You looked at Erik with a fake smile. “Oh, honey, you are sweet but I got this”, adding venom in your voice. “I'm sure you do buttercup, just pace your self”, also adding base in his voice. The bartender looked confused feeling the conversation was deeper than face value. " I'll have a red wine please" Erik glared at you. "What doctors recommend at least one cup of red wine a day." Someone tapped you on your shoulder and turned to see a group of students that wanted to congratulate you personally. Among the crowd was Davida standing there looking bashful. You saw her and you attitude immediately went sour. Erik look shocked and nervous as he to was surprised she was here. He told her about but didn't think she would show up. You downed your first drink fast. "What the fuck are you doing here?", you whisper angrily. "Look Y/N, I didn't come here to fight or cause drama, I want to make amends with you and whether you like it not we're gonna be family." You stood in silence looking at her like she done lost her damn mind. Erik started to say something but you interrupted him you looked at her stepped closer so she can hear you. "I am not Erik so you can't-fool me. I know that baby is not his and your just looking for a meal ticket, if that's how you eat then fine but I'd be damn you ain't eating off MY plate." And you walked off leaving Erik confused about the conversation and Davida dumbfounded. The ceremony went lovely, you had just the kick in the ass you need to focus on the event and not think boning your sexy yet unfaithful husband. When it was time for you and Erik to accept your awards he spoke first. You kind of zoned out until he mentioned of opening a center for women's empowerment in your name. You were shocked to say the least and was speechless. Everyone clapped and cheered whispering amongst themselves. " Wow, such a beautiful couple. " Oh wish I had a marriage like that" Sadly the only ones who weren't fooled by the hype didn't clapped which was you, Erik, and Davida. You stepped outside to get some fresh air as took a sip of your drink a deep voice stirred you out your thoughts. You look to the sound and almost choked on your drink, It was your old mentor from grad school Ellis Watts. He was 6 years older and you guys had a hot sex fling for while Erik was back home and you were away at school. After all these years he still looked good. “OMG, what are you doing here?” “Well, I was in town and heard you were being honored so here I am.” Y'all embrace for what seemed longer than needed. You realized lots of people was around so you decided to go to this secluded spot in the gazebo in the backyard. "I'm so glad you came to support me, I figured we left things kinda weird." "Well I know you were just homesick and missing your boyfriend. But we did have some great times together., He sighed you it was hard to let you go, I thought about almost every day" "Hmm imagined if I didn't leave, where could we have been." "Are you having some kind of doubts about your marriage, are you happy?" You didn't answer as you tried to fight back tears. You wept silently as Ellis hugged you and let you cry. He rubbed your back to soothe you. You looked up at him as he was at least 5 inches taller than and pecked his lips as a thank you, the kiss got more intense as your arms moved to around his neck. The kiss ended abruptly when you heard a pounding thud and you open your eyes quick enough to see Ellis on the ground holding his jaw. Confused you see Erik in complete rage. He gave Ellis no time to recover as he pounces on him punching him in the face. Somehow Ellis overturned Erik and both were giving and taking blows. STOP IT, PLEASE STOP ERIK GET OFF HIM! you yelled. Erik stopped and look at you. Leave Erik! I'm not going nowhere until you come with me! You noticed a crowd was drawing and assume the cops were next. Fine just go I'll follow. He quickly left and you pulled some napkins out of your purse. I'm so sorry about that, you said as you cleaned Ellis's lips. That's fine really if I'd have you as my wife I'd be fighting anyone who looks your way. You laughed to yourself and finished cleaning him. Y/N!!!!! you heard Erik yell. "You better go, I'll take it from here." "Okay here's my card call me ok" You left just as quick to catch up with Erik. Both got into the car y'all came in and left. "Driver our house" "You mean your place, I don't live there anymore." "STFU, and why the fuck was you kissing on that nigga?" "You seriously asking me that while your baby mama pregnant AF at our event." "That's beside the point though, no knows the issue with her however you kissing another nigga who ain't your husband's at an event for us!" He had point but fuck him "Fuck u Erik I ain't gotta explain shit!" The rest of the drive was silent. Once the car pulled up, you quickly hopped out and stormed towards the door. Erik was right behind with you with the keys. When he opened the door, you started for the stairs but Erik grabbed your arm and swung you back to him and pinned you to the wall. He was still pissed. "So you fucking that nigga?" "Fuck u, Erik" "I'm not asking you again!" "Unlike the piece of shit, you are I don't have to fuck every dick that walks by." "That's cause you know that my pussy and can't no nigga fuck you like I can. How long as it been a month maybe two I know that pussy is wet AF right now begging to eaten and fuck properly.” You just turned your head cause he was absolutely right. Then he went for the kill sucking on your earlobe as his hands went under your dress. "Just as I thought", he picked you and found a better way to release his emotions. The next morning The sunlight plus the urge to pee woke you up. Erik has arm tightly around your ribcage keeping you snugly against him. You look down and you were completely naked. You subtle movement woke up the sleeping beast behind you "Where you going?" "I have to pee" "Mhmm well come back" He moved his arms like granted access. After you did your thing you looked in the mirror while you washed your hands. You noticed the passion marks and slight bruises over your neck and chest. Last night was everything you needed and more but you couldn't continue this cycle. You needed to leave. You snuck out the bathroom and went towards the dresser, you quietly got some casual clothes and almost melted how neat your drawers were. You kept your clothes in a certain way while Erik just threw his in the drawer. The fact he took the time to fix it how you like making you all warm and fuzzy inside. But damn that! You gather some more clothes shut the drawer quietly. The sound you heard almost made your heart stopped. “Where you going” “Huh” “I said where are you going, getting out of bed walking towards you.”

You looked like a deer in headlights didn't know your next move. “We're you leaving me?” “I can't stay here Erik” “Who said you can't your my wife this is your house.” He was getting loud almost frightening. He snatched the clothes out of hands and threw them across the room. "Oh you were gonna leave me and go with that nigga wasn't you. After I gave you something special something near and dear you gonna fuck a nigga and leave you got me FUCKED UP" he grabbed a glass vase of flowers and threw them across the room. You watched the water and flowers go everywhere but you couldn't let him intimidate you. "Oh save your bullshit Erik, we both know you bought that center out of guilt. And as much as you have been fucking around you should have no reason to question what I do." You stormed towards the door finding your courage but he blocked the door and got on his knees. He wrapped his arms around your waist. Okay, baby, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm trying to do better, I'd want to make this right. Please stay." His sniffing made your heart broke and you just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle and forget this ever happen. But it did and these are the consequences. "The only reason you want to make this right is that you got her pregnant. Now I looked past the other times but you are making a fool of me. And I can't be here for that now move I need to go." Erik stood up but his demeanor was deadly. "Fine you wanna take your ass to him then go." He reached behind him and locked both doors. "But you gotta find another way to leave other than this front door" "What negro move" Erik's was stiff as a boulder. He instead grabbed your arm and led you towards the balcony. Your first thought was he gonna throw you over so you kicked and screamed making it difficult. He pushed you on the balcony and locked the sliding glass door leaving you out by yourself. Erik, Erik open this damn door! You banged but to no avail, he didn't answer. He climbed back in bed and turned the TV up loud to drown you out. Frustrated you stop knocking and looked for a solution. You looked over and saw the pool, if you jumped you could make it, since you're on the third floor the deep end would have to be your target. But you wasn't much of a swimmer. You had no other option. And hitting the ground wasn't one of them. You looked behind you and Erik was facing you but looked at tv. You climbed over holding on the balcony as you made your jump. All Erik saw was your red shirt floating past the balcony rails. "I know this bitch didn't!" He ran downstairs as he saw your body enter the water in a weird way. Since you didn't bob back up he knew something was wrong and the blue liquid was starting to turn red. Oh, shit y/n! He yelled once he got to the patio. He dove in and retrieve your unconscious body. He gave you CPR as you weren't responding. "Come on baby breathe dammit" He blew one more time and pumped your chest until you spit up water. He was so happy he cradled your head in his arms and noticed the cut on your forehead. He carried you bridal style in the house as he went and got the first aid kit. You started to protest but he wasn’t having it. He just took care of cleaning you and laid in bed as the painkillers took effect. He didn't want it to happen this way but as far as you and he was concerned his wife was back.

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