#so yeah the reason i havent been posting much is bc im kind of in that 'working lots not finishing anything' phase of the commission process
filibusterfrog 2 months ago
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bump of commissions
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saltunafish 6 months ago
i swear i am going to uninstall tumblr if i have to see that disgusting liver cirrhosis or dental implants ad one more time 馃檭
#dw i wont.. i have been using tumblr for too many years to ever have a chance of leaving :/ #but seriously does anyone have a way to block ads on the tumblr app. i hate it here #i do not need to see a diseased liver ever 2-6 posts. always the same ad. always every 2-6 posts #for MONTHS it was just the teeth ad sometimes with different pictures but all gross. but now i get to see teeth AND liver聽馃檭馃檭 #someone end my suffering pls #in other news im sorry i havent been drawing much i am not v motivated #i got kind of burnt out with artfight which ig i knew would happen but also like half the attacks i spent so long on and the people just. #never commented or acknowledged them at all. and ik that's not the point of artfight and i shouldnt place so much importance #on validation like that but? it just really sucks :/ to really put in time and effort to make fantastic paintings of someones oc for them #for free. and have them just completely ignore it #and then check their page every one in a while bc oh maybe they just havent seen it yet #and then see that they have received and commented on multiple attacks they got after yours.. #like did i do something wrong? did i draw them wrong? why dont they like it? #so yeah idk if ill even post that one. i like i less and less now even though i thought it was going to be my best one #and now i just kind of dont want to draw even when i think of drawing my own ocs again im like why bother :/ it's going to be bad #im just not as good as the other artists that i want to be like. which again is an age old struggle and not reason to give up #hate being self aware enough to know my feelings are illogical and not helping me at all and actually hindering my progress #and yet i still have to feel them anyway聽馃檭 #once again.. hate it here sahdfk #but otherwise im ok. just doing nothing. making some new ocs for a new setting & it's a collab so we're actually making good progress.. #but i think that will be a Surprise For Later
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fridaynightimagines 8 months ago
you get another comfort fic because whoooooooo :] /neg (dw im all good just a long night) sorry i wasnt able to get to any requests this weekend, I've been A) super tired B) super fucking cold all the time for no reason and i just. didnt want to post something super half-assed
TW ; arguments [NOT between pico and reader], talk of shaking, brief illusions to dereality and dissociation
Note ; this is based on how i experience these kinds of things so (ragdolls) inspired by the fact that i just got out of a bad argument and seen a pic of this fucker and just went '>:[' to ':]' also sorry if this is bad my brain is like. mush. also also its short bc im tired as fuck i havent actually slept since lie. 4pm yesterday (nae nae)
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Pico x Reader - Overwhelmed
You weren't entirely sure of where you were going. In fact, you weren't really sure of anything right now. Your brain felt scrambled and all over the place ; tripping over its own feet in its confusion and leaving you aimless. You could vaguely recall things that'd happened in the past..while, but you couldn't really say too much on them. It was all just one big, shattering blur.
You could recall a fight. What about you..weren't certain. You just remember desperately clinging to a professional and level tone despite how you felt anything but. You could remember the argument ending with nobody happy, specifically you. Something about..being treated like some kind of animal or being talked down to. Whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant.
You'd started to register feeling and some kind of coherent thought as time passed on. There was a dull soreness in your legs as you continued walking, each step just a bit more to the left or right than the last as you swayed slightly. Something in your forearms hurt and you couldn't exactly feel your hands ; you knew they were there logically, but if you didn't know about your own body's anatomy you wouldn't have noticed them. Your surroundings became a bit more lively, seeming more like an actual path than just a background you passed by. You couldn't pin point exactly where you were or where you were headed but..it didn't seem like anything to worry about. It felt too familiar and comforting for you to really worry.
Part of you wondered just why you felt so strangely calm as you wandered on and on. Yet, as you felt yourself stop and turn you came to realize exactly why that was. You'd hesitated for a moment as you stared at the door absently, a few beats passed silently without interrupting you. After a few more breaths had been taken, you walked up the steps and raised a hand to knock on the door, pausing as you studied your hand.
It was shaking, trembling might even be a better word. You were used to its usual little twitches and shakes but..it was so much worse this time. Attempting to stretch your fingers worked pretty well, but you ended up just clenching them back into fists every time. Shaking your head to clear out those thoughts, you turned your gaze and attention back to the door as you raised your hand once more, knocking on it gently this time.
It took a few moments, a pause that dragged for a few seconds as cars and people passed you by. You were debating just turning around and finding another direction to walk in when the door cracked open. An eye studied you through the crack for a moment, latch visible in the same area. It didn't take too long for its owner to recognize you, shutting the door for a brief second to undo the latch before quickly opening it.
"Shit, if I knew you were comin' over I would've cleaned up a bit better."
Rather then replying you simply smiled and made a vague waving gesture that could be translated as an 'it's alright.'
Pico considered the response for a moment, eyes narrowing just a tad as thoughts and questions began to swim around. Before he could drag on with his suspicions too long you finally spoke up.
"Could I come in?" You hoped your voice always sounded like that, or else it would've been pretty obvious to tell something was up.
"Oh- Yeah! Yeah, course. Make yourself at home," Pico quickly got out, stepping to the side so you could walk in.
He watched you for another moment as he shut the door and locked it again. You didn't do the normal thing where you glanced around curiously as though you hadn't been there tens of times before. Sure, he could see your head turn a little bit as you gave the briefest look over but..it was different ; it wasn't as curious as much as it was just something for you to see.
"So, can I get you anything? Drink, something to eat," he offered, free hand finding itself at the back of his neck as he counted off the other, "you uh..wanna talk about anything?"
The last offer was a tad quieter than the other two, more hesitant and careful. He'd never been the greatest when it'd come to emotional affairs, the best he could do was just listen and do a half-joking, 'want me to kill that guy for ya?' in response. Normally, he wouldn't have asked just anyone -if he sensed something was off he'd just wait till they spoke up about it (if they ever did.)- but..you were more than 'just anyone.' Something about the fact it was you that was struggling just..made it harder for him to brush off.
You paused for a breath, considering the options briefly. "No, I should be good. Thank you though."
Youch. Something about how blank your tone was felt like it was cutting through him and making the air press down with vicious vigor. He'd struggled for a short second before he attempted to lighten the mood and free himself of the suffocation, smile finding its way onto his face.
"That's aight, you wanna just hang out or somethin then? Got some shitty video game last night, disc case was all fucked up. Who knows, might be cursed," he joked softly, nudging you in the side as gently as he could manage with the awkwardness he attempted to ignore.
You smiled and nodded lightly in response. "That'd...be nice, actually."
He could feel himself relax a bit as some of the genuinity and feeling crawled back into your voice, smile becoming less forced at the same time.
"Sounds like a plan then," he hummed with finality as he held his hand out to you.
You simply responded by placing your own hand over his, forgetting about the fact your hand was still shaking like a cold dog. It'd calmed down since earlier but it was still easily worse than usual.
He'd noticed immediately.
"Shit, you're shaking. Are..are you sure everythins alright? I ain't gonna judge you if somethins wrong, you know.." He assured as he gently took hold of your hand, looking it over for any kind of injury that could be causing the shaking.
You'd paused for a few more moments, lips pursed in thought as you debated the options once more. You could easily lie and just say that you were cold but..you doubted he'd accept that considering your hands were probably far from cold right now.
"Why don't we talk about it in your room?"
You did your best to recall everything as accurately as you could. Some moments were especially blurry but..you'd gotten the general gist of things down enough that you weren't too worried about it. Even if you didn't, you were way too comfortable to actually worry about something right now. You weren't exactly sure how but one way or another you'd ended up with your head resting on Pico's chest as you detailed everything to him. Fuck if he wasn't stupidly warm, you wondered how he wore that thick sweater all the time when he ran hot like that.
He'd listened to you the entire time, offering his own little comments here and there as you went on. He didn't totally understand everything but..he understood everything he needed to know. So, he simply heaved a sigh and brushed his thumb over the side of one of your hands gently.
"I..I'm really sorry 'bout all that. I really wish there was more that I could do or say but..if ya need anything, feel free to ask, aight? 'M always happy to help you out," he hummed softly.
"'S ok, I think I'm fine right here for now."
He couldn't help the smile that'd found its way onto his lips as his free hand rubbed your back a little bit.
"'S good to hear."
There were a few more comfortable beats of silence as he stayed quiet with you. It wasn't an awkward silence that he struggled to try and fill, rather it was a silence of mutual understanding and peace. It was a nice feeling, in all honesty. He was still pissed about what you'd told him but..listening to your soft breathing helped him calm down a bit.
At one point or another you'd ended up passing out, no big surprise there. It was clear you were drained as hell and you needed the sleep. So, he was more than happy to act as your pillow for the next few hours. He just hoped you didn't hear how sappy he sounded as he mumbled an 'I love you,' to you before giving you a little kiss on top of the head.
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sugardaddykenma a year ago
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[real authors note: a crackfic from yours truly. I鈥檓 so fucking sorry. No one send this to my therapist because she will actually be worried.]
a/n: oh em gee hey hi hello!!! Feeling blessed that i can write for the whorehouse server collab!!!!!!!!!! I thought i wouldnt post in time because of all of the trauma ive been going thru but we made it! *plays drake music cutely* anywaiiiiz here ya go!!
Warnings! Dont be a pussy, get kidnapped its sexy! Lol hahaha and tw drugs, tw penis (only two for like 5 seconds) so like lime or something less citrus
wc: 2.1k!!!!!
Songs to listen to when reading this: Teen Idle by the QUEEN herself marina and the diamonds, all around me by flyleaf (dw theyre christian), and mgmt kids!!!!
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A great poet once said 鈥淕ot 56 a gram, 5 a hundred grams though, man I swear I love her how she work that damn pole鈥 and that poet, mister fettison wapersons the third said it with his whole left nut. So im out here hustling the pole.
And by pole i mean working at the local 7/11.
I guess i should introduce myself hehe, my name is (y/n) (l/n) and my hobbies include singing (im not that good thought bc im nervous), smoking darts outside my job because i have a nicotine addiction that makes me mysterious and sexy but in a broken girl kind of way, and reading. Im queer coded but in a way that appeals to compulsory hetereonormativity, and if you relate to me you will come oout within the next five years. Its just like astrology!!!
Anyways, there i am. Smoking a ciggy outside of my shitty, convience store job. I am stocking the new mmonster energy drinks into our stock fridge (theyre watermelon!!! (a/n: my fav flavor btw!!!!!!!)), when i feel a text message coming through on my new samsung flip.
ebony_dementia_raven_way: heyyyyy bbycakes ill pick u up aft3r werk so we can get dranky n partee!!
its-yn-not-yeen: ohmygosh fawk ya!!!!! Ill steal some ciggies from my werk fro us!!!!
That鈥檚 my best friend. Shes emo as heck. We鈥檙e such opposites but it works, me being like hot in a conventional lowkey way and her being emo.
My shift ends soon and we always like to get drunk and party with older college guys that she knows on the wekeknds.聽
鈥淗ey kitten, can you cash me out?鈥 i hear a mans deep voice behind me. It sounds so deep i can feel it in my girly parts.
I whip my head around, my long generic hair wafting the scent of my perfume around the aisle. I lock eyes with a tall man, he has black hair, deep indigusishable eyes, and his gives me the aura of a cat who eats mice outside the back of my store. Hes fucking hot though. In a greasy rich kid way.
鈥淯gh, fine i guess.鈥 i get up from where im stocking the shelves and even decide to be nice enough to take out my headphones (a/ns: i forgot to mention the reader is wearing headphones and listening to paramore!!!!!) I would die without my music. other people just dont understand how much i love music. they dont get how its saved me.
I pass him, and hes smiling at me. What a fucking weirdo. In a hot way.
I walk towards the cash, and in a sudden movement another man comes running from the parallel aisle with a chloroform rag. I yell lightly, but not in anyway loud enough to garner any attention, let alone from my boss who is most deinifitely railing lines of coke in the bathroom.
鈥淪TOP IT鈥 I ccatch the reflection of the man whose drugging me in the mirror next to the hot fritos that go on sale every sunday. Hes a big man, strong, giving me total daddy vibes but not in a weird way like in a sexy way like i read on fanfiction dot net. He also has dark hair and eyes.
鈥淕reat work, lets get her in the car,鈥 the cat man comes into view and oh my god? Hes part of this? I have both tall,dark, and handsome men tying me in ropes and shuttling me out of my store.
They move me in the parking lot. I can hear them whispering 鈥渃alm down鈥 and 鈥榙ont worry鈥 but all i can see is my best friend Ebony鈥檚 car!! I start yelling but its muffled against the rag still. She looks up and waves, pointing to her cigarette, which is her tell tale 鈥榳ait-a-min-im-puffing鈥 look. I get it, i would do the same.
The unnamed sexy men start shoving me into a red kia soul.
I cant believe im getting kidnapped in a kia soul! This is so fucked. Poor people are kidnapping me??? I dont even warrant a rich mans affections?
The chloroform finally kicks in conveniently so long after they initially drugged me and everything fades to black. I suddenly feel like annabeth in percy jackson, when she like gets beat up a little, which im almost ashamed to admit is kinda hot.
I wake up grogily tied to a chair in a huge fancy modernist condo. I suddenly feel underdressed in my vintage seven eleven uniform (my boss hates that i dont wear the right one but craig, fashion is fashion, plus the hot harry potter looking guy from starbucks says its sick!! And i trust british ppl mate xx), and a black tennis skirt, with my cool converse. I wear converse because its a lifestyle not because im edgy.
Anyways! Im sexy! Im groggy! Im confused, its a whole moment. I catch myself in the mirror and realize my mascara has smudged giving me a smokey eye look, but other than that im wearing no makeup. My skin is clear.聽
鈥淥h good, youre awake. We were starting to worry,鈥 the tall man says, this is the one who chlorofrmed me, not the sexy man who called me kitten. However, kitten man is beside him.
鈥淲HO THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS? WHY AM I HERE? WAHT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?鈥 i yell. Once again, not too loud, because yelling isnt that sexy.
鈥淚 am daichi sawamura and the skinny man who looks liek a douche is my friend kuroo tetsurou,鈥 i laugh at him calling the other man a douche, 鈥渨e dont mean to scare you hun, we just needed a moment of your time.聽
鈥渨HAT DO YOU MEAN? ALSO WHERE ARE MY HEADPHONES? I CANT COPE WITHOUT LISTENING TO MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS, UGH鈥 i cant find my phone or my cute skullcandy headphones. This should be classified as a war crime.聽
The cat man cuts in, holding up my phone and headphones.
鈥淲e will give you back your music, if you stay with us. This is going to sound crazy, ou are being hunted by the government because they inputted a chip in your brain when you were a baby,鈥 my head spun from the information overload, i suddenly remember my dads best friend barack obama telling me i was important to the world, 鈥渁nd that chip falling into the wrong hands can kill the world as we know it. We have been tasked to save you. We have been tailing you for weeks and-鈥 0.O
鈥淏y the way, you havent been home in a few weeks, you only go to the 7/11 or to your friends place, thats fucking weird,鈥 Daichi says, shrugging. His shoulders are filled in and muscular, and i had a sudden thought about licking his pecs that i shook off.
鈥淎NYWAYS, we need to protect you. So were here. Do you promise not to run away or yell? We鈥檒l give you back your phone and headphones?鈥 Kuroo finishes and i think about his body being so lean and scrumptious.
鈥淵eah of course!鈥 i bat my lashes. Im lying through my teeth. My perfect pearly white teeth. I can afford a dentist.
They swiftly untie me and give me my headphones and im quick to start playing skye sweetnam.聽 I send Ebony and my other friend Princess Mia of Genovia a quick SOS text. Im not dumb, theyll save me.聽
theyre the聽
I sit down with them and they begin to go in depth with the whole problem. Kuroo explains that theyre part of a program that protects us Chipped Gals, as he鈥檚 calling it. Daichi explains that hes the muscle of the operation, which makes sense because he has muscle. Im not usually into the whole jersey shore meathead thing, but he makes it work. Whereas kuroo, now that hes no longer greasy from the 7/11, looks like a frat boy who got lost in london for a bit, so hes hot ya know? Im not even listening to them talk about how my life is in peril, and i dont even consider how convenient the whole thing sounds. I trust them, theyre hot. Hot people are legally nto allowed to lie, everyone knows this, its the first rule from the bible - legally blonde 2.
They put on music to continue their confversation. Its three days grace. I thnk theyre kind of cool, but i dont want to admit it. They even talk about their likes and dislikes, which is only volleyball. In fact i dont even think they have other personality points other than, FBI, Volleyball, being hot, and liking everything i like. Perfect, just how i like my men -- useless hot vapid voids. xD
鈥淟et鈥檚 make dinner, you鈥檝e had a long day love,鈥 daichi says. And all of a sudden im starving.
鈥淪o where can i sleep?鈥 I ask, yawning. We had a luxurious dinner of italian food that could be from olive garden i guess. They walk me to a room at the back of the condo. There is a huge bed, like a california xl king bed in the corner. Its heart shaped. There is mood lighting, and the bed is vibrating for soem reason. Must be for massages.聽
鈥淭hat鈥檚 the problem babe,鈥 kuroo starts and winks, 鈥渢heres only one bed.鈥
鈥淲e hope thats okay,鈥 Daichi says, lifting up his shift.
It;ll be hard to escape sleeping in the same bed, but im sure it鈥檒l work out.
I nod and begin to take off my 7/11 shirt. All of a sudden i realize im undressing in front of them.
They鈥檙e licking their lips. I realize theyre both half naked. Daichi reminds me of a greek god, all strong and big, and kuroo is like a smaller greek god or something because hes skintier.
I drool a little at the sight. [ANS: ME FUCKING TWO1!!! IM FUCKING WHET!]
None of us are speaking, but words dont need to be exchanged. We all begin to undress quietly. Theyre looking at me like prey, and i feel like a small animal being led to the slaughter. If the slaughter was getting railed by strong men.聽
They both unzip their pants, pulling them completely off, showing their equally large juicy members. Now im drooling for real.聽
Im standing shyly in just my underwear and bra, which are froot of the loom, and cover my body with my hands. What if they dont want me?聽
鈥淵ou鈥檙e so fucking hot, isnt she kuroo?鈥 daichi says. Kuroo nods excitedly like acat whose found cat nip or whatever cats like to eat.
鈥淭his is so wrong, our boss, the director of the FBI old man ikkei ukai will kill us if we mess around with you,,,, but you鈥檙e everything we dream about. I feel like ive waited my whole life for you,鈥 Kuroo says, and daichi begins to advance towards me.聽
it is then i decide: if i want to escape these men, the best way is to fuck them senseless. It always works. I wont catch feelings. Plus i havent had some in awhile.
Im going to fuck my kidnappers.
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A/NS: wow that took a lot out of me!!! Theyre so smexxy,,,h ope u guys enjoyed it! If not ill glomp you xD im not sure when ill update since im giving birth lyke tmrw (its a boy!!!) but you鈥檒l be the first to know.
Ang3l: ur lying ur not pregnant ur 14
mEEEKee: youre busy because youre going to soccer camp omfg liar!!!!!
Me: you guys are the worst hahaaha u caught me!!!
y/n: will i get pregnant??????? :3
all of us: probably!!!
Okay!!! ttyl!!pls, like, comment + follow
also this is what youre wearing for this chapter!!!
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like hot working class chic.聽
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inosukeslefttoe 9 months ago
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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??
but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.
so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.聽
oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say聽鈥測eah im trans鈥 in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca聽鈥渦ncle鈥.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.聽
god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE
next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a聽鈥減erfect world鈥 where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.
okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.聽
so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.
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sierraadeux 10 months ago
As much as it鈥檚 helpful to reupload the stereos to YouTube incase people miss it it means d&p make less money. I鈥檝e seen the views have gone down a couple thousand which is kinda a lot. I鈥檓 just ranting a bit because I don鈥檛 know why someone would need to upload it and put 14 ad breaks on something that isn鈥檛 their work each week. Yes I did actually get ads for it. It鈥檚 scummy and I鈥檝e had a problem with this person doing this for a really long time. I feel like I鈥檓 insane for thinking it鈥檚 not okay. If someone is getting 10k views per stereo thats 10k views d&p didn鈥檛 get
in like.. the least combative way i can be i like, very much do not agree/see an issue in regards to this. i can like, break it down, but with the big flashing disclaimer that i do not know the inner workings of stereo (unless you know something about the workings of their contracts/partnerships that I do not in that case this means jack shit but i doubt that unless ur like.. dan.. hi dan)聽
(also yowza this got away from me so ill read more it)
firstly, as it is now, there is seemingly no monetization of listens on stereo beyond their prize money competitions (which phil and all of the people he鈥檚 done shows with have won the top two spots every single competition period since he started using the app by a LARGE MARGIN) that could change, and it does seem like they are planning on introducing monetization on stereo but we still have no idea how that is going to go and as of right now it鈥檚 not a current feature. there鈥檚 no聽鈥渁dsense鈥 type of thing going on there like on youtube. with their brand deal/partnerships/etcetc with the company, dnp could do a show right now and hold 2k viewers instead of the usual 8-10k and still make an honestly unbelievable amount of money (and unless they have some real fucking weird viewership caveat in their contracts, it would be... the same rate) so like. they鈥檙e doing fine. they鈥檙e REALLY not hurting at all.聽 i can try to explain the view drop in a purely speculative way.. and i don鈥檛 think it has anything at all to do with youtube reuploads. when they first started them it was fresh and new and exciting (still is imo) to EVERYONE because like... dan and phil... that hadn鈥檛 been a consistent content thing in quite some time. but now it鈥檚 every week, twice a week, hours upon hours of content. people aren鈥檛 going to go out of their way to be able to make every single show as they air and unless dnp stir up some wild hype they will never get the same flock of people that they first did with the initial dan guest and then the initial announcement that they would have a consistent show together. its really just the trend of how people interact with content, and i think that paired with the world all doing different daylight time changes at different times would be a no brainer if their viewership has been significantly down lately. (which i havent noticed but i also.. dont pay attention to that when im listening)聽
now like.. the actual reuploads or whatever. idk who ur indirecting or who ur pissed off at because i dont really like??? pay attention to the reuploads bc i listen live and if i missed one i鈥檇 probs just listen back on the app because i can do that but if it really grinds ur gears.. bring it up with them? it does seem weird to put an excess of ads on content that doesn鈥檛 belong to you but like. its 2021 if u arent using adblock with a whitelist of the people u do want to support then idk what to tell you esp if ur.. watching these things that ur apparently so against? i really just see it as like, yeah it鈥檚 odd to profit off a complete rip of someone else鈥檚 work in a non transformative way, but that鈥檚 more of like a moral-ish thing. if it was an issue phil would have them claimed/taken down and it鈥檚 been long enough (and apparently they鈥檝e gotten enough attention to be noticed) without that happening which can only lead me to believe that it鈥檚 a non issue to them. and it makes sense a bit to me, because someone had reuploaded the聽鈥渁nd phriends鈥 shows to spotify when they first started out and we were like ?? phil is that u or?? and now they鈥檝e been taken down. by that logic.. the youtube one鈥檚 would鈥檝e been claimed by now. but i think they know that because stereo is such an inaccessible app, youtube reuploads are keeping a significant amount of (very valid) complaints away, where a spotify reupload is nearly the same thing as listening back on stereo plus it was trying to pass off as BEING phil. on youtube (im assuming at least) the people who reupload are not claiming to be phil鈥檚 channel and are not tricking anyone into thinking that they are phil.聽
lets be real here. the stereo app kind of sucks a lot of ass. its annoying to navigate and its ONLY an app. you have to have a mobile phone that supports the app and an active number to use it! (i get age gaiting things (and tbh if i was taking 18+ content and putting it on another site i would probs age restrict it to the same on the other site but like.. thats just nit picking)) if someone doesnt have a mobile device or doesn鈥檛 want their information and data being used for whatever reason they鈥檙e SOL, so i don鈥檛 see harm in putting it on yt if dan and phil are not since they havent said not to. i鈥檝e also seen that despite their (eeeehhhhhh) effort, their after show captions they provided sucked so bad the people who do community captions for phil鈥檚 videos (FOR FREE!!) worked together to FIX THEM just so they were accurate for the purpose they were supposed to have. and now, since they hired a live captioner, i haven鈥檛 checked that out live yet but i鈥檝e been told by a few people who had tried to utilize them that they... sucked ass too.. google auto captioning on yt videos isn鈥檛 the greatest thing in the world, but it is soooooo much more seamless and familiar to the people who need them actually being ON the video in a consistent format. so like. i really can鈥檛 advocate against reuploads for that reason alone. if there was a better system on stereo.. if it was more accessible across the board... and if dnp loudly had an issue with it?? maybe?? i would be like yeah!!! fuck that!!! but like, idk, i highly doubt that the people you see in the view count of these videos would translate into more views for dnp directly on the stereo app in any significant way and i really don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 monetarily harming dnp at ALL. like... they are the biggest people on that platform they鈥檙e basically the faces of it鈥攕tereo is lining their pockets thiccccc with the sheer amount of paid off platform posts and that bonus prize money, nevermind their actual partnership $$. there鈥檚 nooo way they鈥檙e losing money and if they are they鈥檙e doing a real shit job at making it seem otherwise lmao. i really feel like i鈥檇 be licking several boots if i were to think otherwise ahah. but like, you do you, you can think it鈥檚 wrong, morally or whatever, and i guess if you鈥檝e got an issue with it go to the person you have an issue with directly? is my only advice? but i think the TLDR of all of this is: if dnp had an issue with it, those videos would have already been claimed/taken down, so if they don鈥檛 care, why should we?聽
also please learn the ways of adblock i promise u most of the ads you see online are only benefitting giant ass corps and then you can guilt free hate watch shit without giving it any monetary support LOL
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j0succ 8 months ago
many many anons under the cut bc i didn鈥檛 want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) 鉂nd yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i鈥檓 happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like聽鈥榶our constant screaming made me think about jjk <3鈥. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!聽
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i鈥檝e Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i鈥檓 sorry about that :(. i鈥檓 always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you鈥檙e one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 馃挆 I don鈥檛 think you鈥檙e half assing jojo fics and there鈥檚 absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it鈥檚 not as if you鈥檙e the only one. I鈥檓 not sure why you get hate like this but I think it鈥檚 just because you鈥檙e one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 馃挄
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i鈥檝e written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i鈥檓 retreading stuff, and that鈥檚 when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.聽
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 馃馃 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 馃槫馃槫 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don鈥檛 think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the聽鈥榖lock鈥 option, but last night got to me because i鈥檝e been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i鈥檝e interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they鈥檝e enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.聽
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement馃ぎ Fam, you write whatever you want to write馃槫 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.聽
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think聽鈥榩opularity鈥 is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i鈥檓 glad that people think i am a聽鈥榩opular鈥 blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!聽
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it鈥檚 only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn鈥檛 too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it鈥檚 nice to be in a fandom that鈥檚 like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i鈥檓 currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i鈥檝e watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be聽鈥榠鈥檓 just vibing with whatever happens and i鈥檒l block tags as needed鈥.聽
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i鈥檝e - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it鈥檚 probably kind of jarring.聽
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3聽
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i鈥檓 feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i鈥檇 be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i鈥檓 a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 馃挅 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i鈥檒l hype them up i promise <3聽
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i鈥檓 sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it鈥檚 not fair for someone to criticize that 鈥測ou don鈥檛 care about jjba blah blah blah鈥 because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you鈥檝e grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it鈥檚 nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that鈥檚 important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3聽
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i鈥檓 not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3聽
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. 鈾モ櫏馃挄 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of聽鈥榮hort content鈥 is still over 1k words, i鈥檓 not good at reeling myself in! i guess it鈥檚 bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it鈥檚 not that i didn鈥檛 enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;聽
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 馃挅馃挅
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don鈥檛 listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you鈥檙e a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn鈥檛 have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you鈥檙e doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn鈥檛 post it. like you鈥檇 be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they鈥檙e nice to them :(.聽
Anonymous asked: Please don鈥檛 pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can鈥檛 please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they鈥檙e a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don鈥檛 feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You鈥檝e been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it鈥檚 completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I鈥檓 not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i鈥檝e posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!聽
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don鈥檛 feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i鈥檓 like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.聽
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i鈥檓 sorry you get the same kind of comments! i鈥檓 always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i鈥檓 sure you鈥檙e having a great time and i support you!!!).聽
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you鈥檙e old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i鈥檓 glad that it鈥檚 noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it鈥檚 super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i鈥檓 glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3聽
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that鈥檚 on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it鈥檚 only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you鈥檙e writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you鈥檝e created a community here and we don鈥檛 just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i鈥檓 not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3聽
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I鈥檓 sure you鈥檙e getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it鈥檚 worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn鈥檛 watched/read any of the other series you鈥檙e currently writing for, I鈥檓 honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you鈥檙e allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you鈥檙e a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you鈥檙e still writing, I鈥檓 still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I鈥檒l still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don鈥檛 let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍鉂わ笍
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it鈥檚 true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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pepprs 10 months ago
its almost 2:30 and im doing an entire days worth of dishes bc i live in hell but im getting distracted bc my head is spinning and i want to make like 15 personal posts rn so im just gonna put all of my thoughts here and deal w it later <3 if pepprs.tumblr.com is a public diary yes <3
Idk if ive talked abt it before but when i was in 10th grade i kept a Google doc diary where i wrote abt... the ppl i liked or was infatuated w / projected on / whatever u wanna cal it im still trying to ummmm 馃槡 process it but i was scared ppl in my classes would see bc i wrote it during class so I made the text like 6pt dont and every time I wrote abt a girl id use symbols to replace the she/her pronouns and................ 馃槓 idk why that memory came back to me but it鈥檚 very sad to think Abt and i havent quite.. like gotten over that shame I don鈥檛 think. L <3
I had a dream last night abt going to brighton again when quarantine lifted and I was like going to a beach at sunset every night the week leading up to my departure to practice independence and being by the ocean and whatever and it fell through in the dream so I missed my chance to go back I think bc i couldn鈥檛 afford it or i had school or smth but.... my grief and anxiety abt leaving home was thunderous exactly how i lived it once before and i woke up feeling like my January 2020 self and it was very weird and hollowing i guess is the word for it. Also wtf on the car ride today i smelled like... food smells and road smells and Life Smells bc we were in a commercial area for one part of it during DAYTIME (it鈥檚 happened one other time in oct but that was at night when stores were closed for the day) and the car windows were open and it struck me that like.. holy shit the last time i smelled those kinds of things was in BRIGHTON. Like how am i gonna readjust to post quarantine life w that giant wound of like my unresolved.... whatever the fuck u call that experience bc it wasn鈥檛 a semester but it was 7 weeks of... something. Like I wasn鈥檛 here for the end of the world. and that is so HEAVY. And there are ppl an ocean away who ive seen more recently than like the dearest ppl in my life rn. Not that those ppl aren鈥檛 also dear to me but I鈥檝e lost touch w basically all of them and the whole thing is just. Sick and twisted legitimately. I feel it all the time when ppp talk abt like what it was like in America / at home / on campus / whatever but it鈥檚 gonna be so intense when we come back and see each other again bc the last time i was there and whatever was before I went to BRIGHTON. which is fucking ages ago and so... terrifying
Also speaking of that car ride the thing abt going back to my middle and high schools today.. yeah what the fuck was that. And we鈥檝e driven past my elementary school too and also our preschool also so basically ive passed by every school ive ever gone to except the one i currently go to bc my m*m has it out for me and is determined to keep me away from campus for Some Strange Reason even tho it鈥檚 the one place i miss more than anywhere obviously and being back there would be.... A Lot but healing and helpful in the end i think. Lol <3
I鈥檝e been too hyper focused on my own thoughts and cataloging and interpreting them and now I don鈥檛 know how to take a break from that. Like I spend all of my free time journaling and today i tried to do not do it bc ive spent every weekend for the last like 3 weeks capturing every single detail of every day as ive been doing for yrs now and I couldn鈥檛 even take that break today like i just had to sketch out some details so I wouldn鈥檛 forget. And now im gonna be more vulnerable this week bc i鈥檒l fall behind w journaling and have to put hw first and then im gonna have to power thru like 6 weeks in one sitting like I did in December lmfao. Sorta freaky thst during covid especially ive become so obsessive w collecting / preserving / holding on to everything that ever happens to me bc stories are everything and i believe that every part of this is gonna matter. but journaling that intensely helps my mental health but does it really but is that just internalized voice of p*rents making me doubt myself bc they disapprove lol
I do dishes quietly and clean the whole kitchen and it鈥檚 very thorough and i complain abt it rarely like only when im pushed to do it. It鈥檚 just im tired
I have so many unread messages on literally every app rn and probably more i haventeven realized I鈥檝e received bc i turned off notifs / badges for a lot of stuff and. I simply cannot open them even when im having a good day i just can鈥檛 and ik it鈥檚 taken a toll on my relationships and it was bad before Covid but i literally have messages and emails from last march when i came home that i still havent opened and idk if i ever will or can at this point bc idk how to explain what鈥檚 going on w me that i can鈥檛 just reply to messages. I can鈥檛 even explain it to myself but i fucking hate it
Napowrimo is coming up and im excited and scared. How am i gonna swing that also i hwvent written poetry since last like may when i finished last napowrimo late literaly i havent written a single thing since then and idk if I have it in me anymore but im gonna try so hard and i hope whatever it is comes back
I don鈥檛 remember the last time i cried which is kinda cool. Like i think I have this month and i cried sooo much in feb but i definitely havent cried for the last week plus which is... weird and nice bc ive become a crier in quarantine <3 but i think im doing better this month which is promising!!鈥 Probably bc it鈥檚 getting warmer / brighter and ive been keeping on track w journaling and taking walks lol and also challenging myself to like speak up when i need things. but we鈥檒l see how the 2nd half of the semester goes
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berenstein 10 months ago
Okay so first- I LOVE your manhunt gif set it鈥檚 so cool! I felt like I was watching some kind of spy movie with the way you broke down everything and the aesthetic!
But the potential 5th hunter part really got me thinking, it鈥檚 actually super interesting to me because I think they would all be good choices and bring something unique to the table!
Callahan鈥檚 a wild card, the audience has no idea what his playing style is like, plus I think his silence would lead to some great surprise attacks! Punz has the pvp and speedrunning skills, a team up with him and Sapnap could give Dream a real run for his money. Sam would probably play the long game, similar to Antfrost he鈥檇 collect materials early on then come in clutch at the end. But he鈥檚 also got incredible redstone skills, which could lead to Dream dying to a hunter-set trap, something we鈥檝e not seen before! What Quackity lacks in the pvp department, he would make up for by really elevating the comedy/banter content. Skeppy is another wildcard, I could see him going more down the pvp route, or potentially setting up some game changing traps, he鈥檚 got that jack of all trades thing going on! -@trainforanother1000years
hi hi hi thank you so much !!!! <3
yeah i was thinking a lot about the hunters as well!!! i accidentally talked a ton in response to do this so im going to put it under a keep reading LOL
you're totally right about callahan being a wild card. he would def get away with more bc of being silent (bc dream always like. psychoanalyzes the hunters based on what they say, like when he knew george was on one heart because of the way he screamed LOL).
punz is really really good at minecraft and, like you said, he's a Speedrunner. i do think he is more pvp focused which im personally not that into bc i think the coolest parts of manhunts are the banter and the traps ?? i think if punz got added as hunter dream would definitely lose a lot more right off the bat so rip to his wallet LOL .
i think sam 5th hunter would be awesome! i was originally team quackity but everyone's little comments on the survey converted me LOL. yeah the closest thing we have had to "traps" from the hunters is like. the instant damage potion death (let's be real antfrost knew what he was doing luring him into the desert temple). i'd say that traps and baiting dream into doing things are probably the most reliable ways to kill him, so awesamdude making redstone traps would be. pun unintended. awesome!!!!
i really don't think adding someone else who is good at pvp is the best move for 5th hunter partially for the reasons i said earlier in the punz section of this post . i feel like everyone has a kind of role that they fill in the dynamic and we already have the aggressive pvper with sapnap. i think adding someone like quackity at least for a one-off manhunt on the channel would be a good idea bc i feel like manhunts as they are now have strayed really far from what they were at the beginning. like i was originally going to make that a Much bigger project and do all of the manhunts but . i watched the first one and it's barely even a fair comparison. it was a lot more lighthearted despite having its intense moments and seemed more like something done with friends than a Production. that's not to say there's something wrong with a Production of course! i love watching manhunts now, it's just different! and i think adding quackity would bring some of those vibes back for a one-off episode which would be fun :)
i feel like skeppy would provide some mix between what sam and quackity would add! i havent seen a lot of his stuff so i dont know how good he is at pvp? but as long as he's not like . op like sapnap or punz i think he would still be a good addition. i think he would lean in the direction of supplies/support/traps? but i don't know him that well so idk. i think he would be worthwhile to add if only because i think having both him and bad there would be funny :)
sorry i totally rambled in this reply but i've been thinking about it ever since like. the first person voted in the survey LOL. thank you for the ask <3
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crybabyddl 11 months ago
This one鈥檚 a doozy so strap your seatbelts, grab a snack, and get ready to watch your 鉁╨ocal chaotic good bisexual disaster with an unhealthy obsession with anyone with long dark hair, an angsty backstory, a bit of a temper, and eyes that hold a fire so passionate and bright, that you can鈥檛 look at them without feeling like icarus, if the sun was falling in love.鉁
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I think I just had 5 mini panic attacks in a row.
Ugh i just have to move on so quick from each thing bc it鈥檚 so anxiety inducing and eventful that whenever i go to make these things i basically blank on everything I just watched.
First off, I鈥檒l start with the person in charge of The Garrison. I was about to fucking punch my screen. I called her a colorful combination of swear words so yeah.
Can i also just say how much I love the least toxic person in this show??? If you thought of anyone other than Hunk, you鈥檙e wrong. Hunk is an icon. He鈥檚 the blueprint. He鈥檚 the supreme. He鈥檚 the king.
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Also before I fucking explode, I am begging that season 8 isn鈥檛 those 4 new Garrison recruits bc if it is i鈥檓 just gonna fucking yeet myself.
Also the way I was whisper yelling for Shiro more than Keith? A surprising turn of events in terms of my own personal character development while watching this weird ass show.
WHEN ATLAS TURNED INTO A TRANSFORMER (i thought about the fact that voltron is literally just transformers but their cars are lion shaped hover cars.馃き) I WAS LIKE YOOOOO (that was legitness! yeah it was, ha!)
No but seriously the only thing I think can encapsulate each feeling of anxiety, relief, stress, and panic wave spike on the mental graph of my panic attacks and emotions while watching these episodes is with the bretman rock screaming 鈥淵ESSSS YESSSS鈥 gif
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WHEN KEITH JUST FLEW IN OUT OF NOWHERE AND SLICED SENDAK? I almost thought it was too good to be true, but THAT鈥橲 MY MAN!!!
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Idek the order of everything so sorry if i say it out of order my mind cant remember everything and i think i鈥檇 literally trigger a panic or heart attack if i watched the episodes again.
Me when I saw the Altean in the white sword monster:
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Lance鈥檚 sister Veronica is hot btw idk if i said that already.
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You all know I love Keith. He has been a bit of a hotheaded dick, a bit absent, a bit angsty, and a bit angry, but I will fight to the death for this man because he NEVER and i mean
Gives up on people and that is something so pure of heart and is actually something that requires so much strength bc despite what anyone may think, faith is one of the hardest things to have. I鈥檓 not talking about religion or anything surface level. I鈥檓 saying in situations that literally do not seem plausible, like everything these 2D cartoons go through, having to tell yourself that things will be okay, when you have several geniuses saying the odds are so fucking against you, and having faith that a mechanical fucking lion is gonna scoop you up at the very last millisecond and to believe that a man who has been through each layer of hell and back thrice still has enough in him to mentally fight a mind demon that would blow Bill Cipher out of the water and out of space time itself (for quiznak鈥檚 sake this show talked about WHITE HOLES... they literally figured out space but it鈥檚 fictional but like you have to actually know what you鈥檙e talking about this is like beyond NASA shit idek it鈥檚 all just mentally infathomable (unfathomable? not fathomable? Idfk) and all that comes to my brain is a mental image of my brain folding in on itself like one space phenomenon or another.
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Anyway, back to Keith. He鈥檚 baby, my boyfriend, my husband, an asshole, the most caring person, the cutest, the hottest, the dumbest, the smartest, he鈥檚 just everything and i sound crazy (as if i didnt already sound crazy back when i was only on season 2 lmao) but it鈥檚
Keith 馃ズ
I鈥檓 sorry, I just love him. Also, WE STILL HAVE ZERO PROOF HE鈥橲 FROM TEXAS. Maybe he said it in the first 2 episodes of season 1 that i didnt rewatch (for some reason but i鈥檓 probably gonna rewatch the whole thing after im done) but anyway all we know is keith is from somewhere in the south, presumably on the west coast or the midwest so, southwest or southern midwest, bc in one of the episodes we see the garrison trying to contact the other bases in the world and they try to contact east coast and they dont respond. My bet is that it鈥檚 somewhere like Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Nevada, somewhere around there.
Also, i鈥檝e (most likely) said it before, but i鈥檓 gonna say it again: whoever keith鈥檚 voice actor is, thank you. Your voice lives in my head rent free and it鈥檚 a good thing.鈽猴笍馃挒 also, just in general, keith?
I love you. 鉂わ笍馃グ馃尮
Anyway, i was gonna say something oh i remember!
I know I鈥檓 v late to everything about voltron, but there鈥檚 no way for y鈥檃ll to have known that Shiro was replaced... that also doesn鈥檛 make sense bc he woke up on a weird ass tundra planet and seemed to know what was going on and so why would he just suddenly shift. Idk if i forgot a plot point that explains the rise of short sleeve shiro, but that was the only time i noticed a difference. I just thought dying and coming back to life changed him and he was backseat piloting bc he was no longer the black paladin. And what changed that shiro suddenly became the black paladin when keith left to join the blade, but not when shiro first returned? Like why would the black lion wait that long? Why would the black lion wait at all? They kinda made it seem like that was the first time we found out the black lion has multiple paladins meanwhile there were former paladins of voltron, and zarkon was implied to have the ability to fly the black lion since he could contact it, as could hagar but hers was most likely just her magic. But if zarkon HAD successfully gotten the black lion back in seasons 1, 2, or 3, he probably would have been able to fly it. Idk i try to find closure in every open ending, or at least every open ending i can actually remember by the time i鈥檝e gathered my bearings (my endless gallery of memes and reaction pics that i have filed under specific moods or fandoms or if i made them myself) and have made it to the tumblr app; a process that could take just as long as it took me to watch a couple episodes (which is longer than their runtime bc i have adhd and life isnt privy to the idea of watching something with no interruption of any kind yet somehow y鈥檃ll manage to but i simply cannot nor do i want to but anYWAYAYYYUUUYYY) also, acxa is still my wife. So is romelle, so is ezor, so is allura, so is veronica, so is krolia. In short, women.馃槍馃挅馃
Ok since i still can鈥檛 express or describe my love for keith in a way that is satisfying enough for me, i will end my post here. Time to watch season 8. I have been very vaguely warned of potentially being super angry, and for me, that would be if they made season 8 about the MFE fighter pilots from the Garrison being the new paladins or something. If they do a time jump, i think it鈥檒l depend on how far. I just feel like the paladins deserve to rest but also them not being the ones to defend space bothers me. Also since i forgot, i didnt fully understand bc instead of explaining important things or tying up loose ends, the creators decide to waste like 40 seconds of each episode on the stupid forming voltron animation.馃槧馃樁馃ゴ
I said it. You heard me.
Anyway, I remember asking in a post of there was ever an episode that we鈥檇 see the voltron animation change slightly or not happen, and there IS!!! I don鈥檛 remember which episode, but it鈥檚 while they鈥檙e in the milky way, idk if they鈥檙e at the garrison yet but there鈥檚 a point where they鈥檙e in the milky way galaxy in some capacity tho idk if they were ON earth or just in its atmosphere ANYWAY it was a v time pressing thing, just like all of their time back on earth, but this one time, they just formed voltron without the animation. It happened before I even finished my mental spiel about how 鈥淭HERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME TO HAVE 35 SECONDS OF LOCKING MECHANISMS THAT DONT CARRY ANY SORT OF SIGNIFICANCE AND YOU WOULDVE GOTTEN YOUR ASS KICKED 15 SECONDS AGO AND THINGS WOULDVE ALREADY EXPLODED!鈥 Anyway so i was happy that i got that wish.
Anyway im mentally swamped trying to keep talking even tho i want to just watch season 8 now so byeee i love keith and i honestly love everyone but keith was my first love for this show so im just saying everyone else bc i mean it and i dont have to list everyone individually to make it mean something do i? Obviously not but ocd is a motherfucker but im figuratively gonna just the blinking red things on my lion鈥檚 control panel so i can save a teammate (myself) against my captain鈥檚 orders (also myself) bc they see emotion as a sign of weakness, but me being the intellectual genius i am, know better and that caring about people is a strength bc like i was saying with keith, it鈥檚 so much easier to just save your own ass. It takes an insane amount of strength and courage to trust, put faith in, and truly believe in someone you only met due to a bunch of freak coincidences, all while having been in so many infathomable situations that are literally 90% likely to be death sentences, and still making it out so you鈥檙e def like 鈥渙h shit things have been working in our favor surely one of these times it鈥檚 gonna result in death!鈥 And to still have the mental strength and will to FUCKING FIGHT AND EVEN GO AS FAR AS FUCKING KAMAKAZE YOURSELF BC YOU HAVE A THEORY THAT YOUR SHIP WILL BREAK A BARRIER THAT YOUR SUPER LASER CANNOT AND IF YOUD ACTUALLY HIT THE BARRIER YOU WERE A NANOMILLIMETER AWAY FROM YOU WOULDVE DIED FOR NOUGHT like it was that situation where the distance abd speed (thats velocity right?) would have resulted in impact seconds ago but since we keep changing the angle we鈥檙e gonna pretend he still has time before impact even tho we all know it wouldve crashed, and although you鈥檙e happy he鈥檚 alive, you hate the timing inaccuracy with a burning passion and it creates the same dilemma as how have the paladins survived they most certainly shouldve died a few seasons ago like im glad u didnt but also i need things to be cohesive thats not the word i want, coherent? Idk i cant think but it鈥檚 gotta make sense and be realistic in terms of the shows realism like it has to have continuity anyway im done bc ive talked longer than j meant to onto season 8!!! Eeeep watch me not even care or get mad bc for some reason ive enjoyed every season and have no problem except for minor loose ends and some small realism issues but of course this is a show about space and aliens and robot lion transformers where everyone is attractive and doesnt have super deep psychological issues except for the trauma of their time in space and any sort of anger angsty issues due to their backstory, family, vengeance quest, or if it鈥檚 part of their personality to be a smidge unhinged *cough* keith
Anyway BYE.
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inthefeedback a year ago
gonna ramble abt hlvrai appearance headcanons bc im trying to figure out how to draw everybody
gordon: exhausted rectangle. bulky even w/o the hev suit. taller than coomer, shorter than bubby, usually on par w/ benrey unless theyre fucking around. honestly even tho i draw him the most i still have NO IDEA how to draw him. FUck you can never take ponytail gordon away from me. he has a short but fluffy ponytail and its cute. also has messy bangs, might bandwagon onto 鈥済ordon has a grey streak in his hair from stress鈥 i keep waffling on his arm bc like. im v inconsistent w if he gets it back or not, or has a prosthetic, or w/e looks either tired or exasperated 75% of the time, like he Does have an emotional range but his resting face is Tired post-resonance cascade
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benrey: long hair, really messy and always tangled. somehow fits it under their helmet. looks human, if rather pale. skin has a slight grey tinge to it. also looks like they havent slept in 5 years. eyes are in permanent shadow even w/o their helmet but it just makes them look More Tired. eyes always half-lidded & expression apathetic. starts looking Less human at certain parts, like having sharp teeth when being threatening or doing the Evil Cackle. has the thing where their eyes glow in the dark if you shine a flashlight at them (it scares the shit out of gordon). teeters on the edge of the uncanny valley scale relative to other people is always inconsistent, changes height when no one鈥檚 looking to mess with them and it鈥檚 always either very minimal or 鈥渟omething鈥檚 different about benrey but hell if i know what鈥 or 鈥渨ait since when was benrey That tall鈥. not really sure abt bodyshape so that also might be a bit fluid black hair, eyes are a v dark colour
tommy: very tall and lanky w/ super curly hair & freckles! might have a tooth gap idk, im kinda back-and-forth on it. been trying to draw him Actually Looking Like An Adult bc like. he鈥檚 older than gordon. i dont really have any hcs for species stuff so he鈥檚 just like. human appearing. WAIT ACTUALLY his eyes do the glow-in-the-dark thing bc i think thats cool. like, actually glowing, not like benrey鈥檚 鈥渟hine a flashlight at me and shit your pants鈥 thing. his ability to survive despite his high caffeine&sugar intake might also be a biological perk tommy is just. long. long face, long nose, long body. tallest of the science team unless benrey cheats. brown eyes, but they glow kinda orange-yellow in the dark i kinda wanna give him like. sneakers w/ loosely tied laces but im worried abt making him Too Childlike in vibes bc of like. yeah. i just also want the 3 scientists to have Some kind of unique outfit quirk
coomer: looks soft but is actually strong as hell. he鈥檚 built like a bear. shortest member of the science team but could easily carry all of them at once (except maybe benrey, depending on benrey鈥檚 size) has no exterior signs of his cybernetic enhancements so gordon thought he was joking until the PowerLegs:tm: thing where he just. fucking launched himself like 100 feet. probably has like, synthetic skin over it or something iunno wears tacky hawaiian shirts under his labcoat and just. generally has Fun Grandpa vibes. rolls up his sleeves at some point and then they just Stopped Existing w/ the activation of superplayer very round shapes! hair is very fluffy. eyes are a dark green (same as 鈥渙minous text鈥 colour)
bubby: second tallest behind tommy, also a bit noodley but not as exaggerated. tommy is long circle, bubby is Long Rectangle im really torn on drawing him with Sharp Teeth bc i love seeing other ppl draw him w/ that but it didnt really vibe with me when i drew it? so i dunno im workshopping it i guess. he does have eyes behind his glasses but his glasses are mostly opaque so its hard to tell sometimes. gordon isn鈥檛 sure how he sees has like.. god idk what to call them. the term coming to mind is 鈥減latform shoes鈥 but there鈥檚 no way thats it. ACTUALLY YEA GOOGLE SAYS IT IS bubby wears platform shoes to be Even Taller but is STILL shorter than tommy
also some ocs under the cut fdhgkzjdfgh
andi: just over 5 feet tall, very chubby / potato-shaped. this man has No muscle mass. hair is Ridiculously fluffy & is dyed orange (his natural colour is brown). his right eye is a bit fucked up so he鈥檚 always squinting with it and it makes his expressions look really weird gdzhkdjghdfj he probably needs glasses but keeps leaving them at his desk which is definitely not something i do he鈥檚 the shortest & youngest member of the science team. he鈥檚 just barely shorter than coomer. coomer can also definitely throw him straight up and he鈥檇 never be seen ever again has his labcoat sleeves pushed up / rolled up (its inconsistent) to the elbow, & wears plain colour t-shirts under it. his boots help him feel taller some of our self-insert ocs have scars on their arm bc of personal shit and im still undecided on if andi has them too. if he does, he gets them during the black mesa incident
john: short kinda-curly hair, but has been considering growing it out post-game bc of like. gordon reasons. kinda scruffy-looking. less square than gordon is + different build, but theyre the same height at least. brown eyes, hair鈥檚 darker than gordon鈥檚, skintone is lighter. doesn鈥檛 quite have the 鈥渞esting tired face鈥 p much exclusively wears beanies and hoodies, doesnt care too much abt his appearance so he looks like a Trash Man. starts rolling up his right sleeve post-act 3 to remind himself that his arm is, in fact, there (although he has difficulty using it bc his brain gives him like 500 errors)
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little-seed a year ago
that one Pokemon AU i've been thinking about for actual months
I wonder if its better to preface these posts鈥
Hi!! Its Nap again!!!! this time, yall get聽two hyperfixations at the same time! (also im gonna try to use that readmore html skip so uh if this doesn鈥檛 work鈥. guess we鈥檒l see :)))
anyway, time for pokemon!!聽
since my personal favorite games are Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, this au is聽definitely going to be heavily influenced by those games (hopefully that doesn鈥檛鈥other anyone bc i know there鈥檚 a lot of like, 鈥渂etter fitting鈥 pokemon for the main cast but i just. don鈥檛 care! (/s) opinion is opinion and pokemon is pokemon, im just here to have a good time!!!)聽
鈥︹ lied a little, this au is actually very strongly tied to the platinum game! after having to go and google the entire 7th division, i got some galaxy brain and had to adjust a bit lol聽
naturally, Mob is our protagonist. he鈥檚鈥..well, he's聽Mob, but the catch is our boy doesn鈥檛 actually have a pokemon of his own. (not yet)聽
He and his family live in Twinleaf (shhhh im using all the original town names bc making up new ones is hard), and Mob works for the region鈥檚 resident 鈥淕reatest Trainer of the XXst Century鈥 - Reigen!
Reigen is your jack-of-all-trades guy - he does local demonstrations on pokemon catching, searching for missing pokemon, taming the rather unruly types, pokemon care, accomodating for larger pokemon in a smaller house, a sort of field-nurse - think Brock, but with a bit (A Lot) more interest in making enough money to pay the rent instead of girls.聽
Supposedly, he and his partner pokemon (a Chatot with a disconcertingly extensive human vocabulary (Dimple), and a Girafarig he鈥檚 named Takoyaki that he uses for transport) have traveled the聽entire world, they鈥檝e been to every region and seen every mythical and legendary pokemon you could possibly dream of (and a few you鈥.definitely havent)聽
Enter Shigeo Kageyama - a boy who got into an accident with his little brother when they were small, and hasn鈥檛 had a pokemon of his own since. the way that most of the franchise works is that you get your 鈥渇irst pokemon鈥 at the age of 10 (with the exception of kid trainers who have their pokemon gifted/passed down to them), i鈥檓 saying that Mob was about 9 when the accident happened, and just鈥..refused to accept any offers to either catch or receive a pokemon by the time he turned 10.聽
All anyone can get out of the boys was that they encountered something聽terrifying聽while exploring in the woods together - normally the paths are perfectly safe, but Ritsu swears by a new turn that just聽disappeared聽when the grownups went looking later, and an entire lake that no one in recent memory recalls ever being in those woods. Shigeo describes a cave that circled back in on itself in a hundred different ways, filled with strange pokemon that Ritsu remembered reading about in a Johto book they checked out from the library once - certainly none that either of them could remember seeing before.聽
Shigeo doesn鈥檛 remember what they encountered when they finally reached the deepest part. He can鈥檛 recall the details of their escape, either. Ritsu says he doesn鈥檛 remember how they got away - only that his brother is the one who fended off the monster.聽
Neither brother came back the same after that.聽
Fast forward a few years.
Reigen makes his grand entrance into tiny Twinleaf - much to the delight of the locals, and its when he mentions having met聽鈥淎ll kinds of legends - great and small, there鈥檚 nothing my partners and I haven鈥檛 seen!鈥 that the man catches Shigeo鈥檚 attention.聽He finds him afterward, and asks Reigen a bit more directly about his travels.
鈥淗ave you really been聽everywhere?鈥 Shigeo asks, and Reigen peers down at him with a raised brow.聽
鈥淲ell, of course. I did say everywhere - Kalos to Kanto, Alola to Unova!"聽
"Hoenn too!鈥 his Chatot chirps.聽
Reigen waves a hand. 鈥淲hy, what鈥檚 with the skeptisim?"聽
Suddenly, it seems silly to be asking this stranger about his problem. Reigen had just arrived - Shigeo didn鈥檛 need to bother him with this. But鈥 he鈥檇 worked up the courage. It would be a shame to waste it.聽
"I鈥檓 looking for a Pok茅mon I can鈥檛 remember. It was - it was huge, and strong, and could disappear at will. It had - well, my brother says it had two forms, but - "聽
"Hold up. You said you couldn鈥檛 remember it."聽
"Yes.鈥 Shigeo admitted. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 remember it, but my little brother was with me. He says it wasn鈥檛 too scary, but sometimes - I think it was, sometimes. Too scary. He won鈥檛 talk about it. I want to find it."聽
"You want to聽find聽the Pok茅mon鈥.?"聽
"Yes.鈥 The firmness in his voice startled him a bit. Reigen seemed equally surprised. 鈥淚f I can find it, I can ask why I have strange dreams about an upside-down world. And I can show Ritsu that there鈥檚 nothing to be afraid of."聽
"Huh. You have a Pok茅mon of your own?"聽
"Why鈥檚 that?"聽
"I don鈥檛 want anything bad to happen to them. Just in case it appears again."聽
Reigen was silent for a long time. Shigeo picked at his sleeve. The man鈥檚 Girafarig gently knocked its head against his shoulder.聽
鈥淗ow about鈥.we go and talk to your brother, yeah? And then I can have a nice long chat with your parents before we decide what to do?"聽
A wave of relief crashed over him. Finally - someone who was actually聽listening聽to his story, as barren as it was.聽
Reigen has his nice long chat with the Kageyama鈥檚 - sans Ritsu, because he鈥檚 actually off in Sandgem with the professor.聽
See, Shigeo coped with that experience by quietly vowing to himself that he wouldn鈥檛 keep a pokemon. Partly for the reason he gave Reigen, but it was also a subconcious barrier. A pokemon caused all this trouble - if he just kept his distance from them now, than everyone would be better off, no? This had the unfortunate side affect of suppressing his own feelings along with the fear he was trying so hard to avoid.聽
Ritsu,聽however, handled it very differently. Determined to never be caught off-guard again by something he didn鈥檛 know, he spends his free time working as an assistant to the Pokemon Professor - learning as much book and hands-on teaching as he possibly can.聽
The story kicks off by Reigen (who has *no clue* what Mob is talking about, but is determined to get to the bottom of it) volunteering to take Shigeo with him to search for the mystery pokemon. His family agrees (this *is* the pkmn world - they send their kids out at 10, at least Shigeo鈥檚 older here) in the hopes that the life experience will get Shigeo to open back up.聽
Ritsu tags along under the guise of being an assistant to the Professor, but deep down, he鈥檚 scared that Shigeo won鈥檛 be able to protect himself like he did before. He鈥檚 also just - he鈥檚 in desperate need of some closure.
As a parting gift, the professor lets the boys choose a starter to take with them. Ritsu chooses to take Piplup. ("Not because its cute - we"ll have to pass through a lot of caves. Plus, Piplup鈥檚 evolution line is great for surfing.鈥 鈥淵eah, you definitely think its cute.鈥 鈥淚 do NOT!鈥)聽
Shigeo adamently refuses until Reigen gives a speech about needing to learn to rely on others in order to truly grow as people.聽
Ristu rolls his eyes. Shigeo takes Reigen鈥檚 words to heart and latches onto the word 鈥済row鈥, picking Turtwig for his starter.聽
AND THUS, the journey begins!!!! I have so many more words but its uhhhh almost 4am and i have to work later. I鈥檒l come back with more, I promise!! We still havent gotten to Claw, or Teru, or Shou and im so pumped to tell u all abt it!!!!!!聽
gn for now :^) 馃寵聽
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hayniacblog a year ago
ok i have a theory and theres like 5 of you left on here so i dont feel weird posting it.
but looking back at wild blue and now totga... hunter recently has talked about his voice change and how hes always been insecure about his voice. which obviously he shouldnt be because hes amazing??
anyways i feel like with the more vulnerable and unique songs hes been putting a filter on his voice. im fully aware hes talked about letting those metophorical filters down but maybe hes doing it unconsciously锟?? who knows but anyways heres the theory:
so since mrs rona hunter has been making this album almost entirely by himself aside from the things he cant do. which i think is great, however it seems like theres a filter on some songs. in night and day for example (and dont come at me i love that song it was my most played song of 2020 probably my fav hh song ever) theres that weird voice filter thing which ive gotten used to but it doesnt NEED to be there. it doesnt bring anything extra to the song for me id rather just hear his natural voice. however that song is different than any other song hes ever written/actually produced and put out. which i understand why because its the first song that full on implies锟 sex. of course secret love hints at it but this one really says 鈥榞irl you make the stars come out鈥 which i mean馃憖馃憖
Now with TOTGA again love it, i think its a bop but is it just me or can you barely hear his voice? the music is great but the entire point of the song is the lyrics and to hear him sing; and to me it sounds like theres some kind of filter. now i could be wrong and thats the entire reason im putting this on tumblr bc i could just be over thinking but i enjoy hearing these songs live so much more simply because theres not all of the overlays and filters.
i know that was just like a LOT lol i just felt like i needed to put it out there in case anyone was thinking the same thing? again i dont want anyone taking this as i dont like his songs bc i do i LOVE them. It just feels like hes leaning into things that are covering up his talent rather than enhancing it. its really hard to explain but if you know what im talking about pls tell me im not crazy lmao... or you can tell me im crazy thats fine. if you dissagree 100% get it. truth is no matter what he puts out im going to listen and probably love it, but it just something that i havent heard anyone say. just because were his fans doesnt mean we cant make criticisms or observations. (which i wouldnt even call this a criticism bc thats not my intention but yeah) 锟糰nd as all amazing presentations end: so... yeah.
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intohope a year ago
Family drama vent post. Just pure blind rage :):) Trigger warning(s) - see tags. Posting on main bc I uh. I cant be bothered to compartmentalise.
[Scene - Interior. Mid-evening. Dinner table. A charming family reunion.]
Im fucking stealing my brother's Adderall and i'm the most sober person at the table. My dad's so drunk he can't make a coherent theological argument despite the fact that he's the Catholic and I wasnt even baptized. My mom is cracking the most inane fucking high-school-tier jokes and my dad is playing along like a twentysomething simp at a house party instead of idk a septuagenarian English prof with a PhD in Classics and three prior divorces. My brother is nodding out over his bowl of pasta as my dad proudly announces that none of us have depression, apropos of nothing. Good to know. My grandmother hasnt said a single word. Just lost in....thought, I guess. I seem to be the only one not drinking and my parents keep acting like I'm bringing the vibes down? Like I'm the fckn wet blanket? Lord knows I'm not sober by choice and like it's chill if you don't want me drinking but deliberately excluding me from the conversation every time I try to participate, because I'm a downer for talking about my life instead of joining in a bullshit wine-vs-beer "debate" - that's next-level. Not like you havent seen me for months - catching up can wait, clearly the umpteen bottles of wine and the witless banter are the priorities here. Oh yeah, and my kid brother who OD'd on Ativan uhhh *checks watch* last week can drink but I guess I'm just too irresponsible because I care about things other than....models from the 90s who ive never heard of and whether or not theyre "grown up". Oh yeah, and I'm on an antidepressant , which clearly means I'm a threat to myself or some shit. My brother's bipolar is harmless tho, I mean see how chill he is? Guess I should be more like him - conventionally attractive, benzodiazepene-addled, and prone to spouting anti-semitic conspiracy theories for the lulz. My mom keeps casually joking about her totally-not-disordered eating as if she's not the fucking reason I feel guilty for even attempting to have a meal today. My dad reminds me, with all the gravitas he can muster - that is to say, none - that I'm a financial burden and I'm wasting my potential as a writer by....writing(???) here on the blogosphere, and then just tells me to laugh?? Just like, an order, i guess, not so much as a "please"? Joke's on you, I'm a fucking actor. By necessity. Because this reminds me all too much of back when I was a kid and being quirky and amusing was the best way to avoid pissing the "adults" off. Casually misgender me again, why not. Still beats shouting matches, I guess? Glad ye insisted that i came out here despite yknow the small trouble with plague about. Surely didnt know what the fuck I was missing. Good news - I've been reminded by who-even-cares-anymore that I'm "under no obligation to participate in the conversation"!!! Oh joy. Ill uh. Ill take that under advisement, thanxx.
Suddenly the fact that my parents decided theyd be better off separated a decade ago. Theyre such wonderful, kind neurotic-eccentrics individually. I love them with all my heart and like. They were never abusive. They never meant to fuck me up. I'm grateful for that. But egads! are they insufferable when theyre in the same room. Like an exothermic fucking reaction. At least nana and my bro are comfortably numb. Good for them. Hell, my other bro disappeared unnoticed halfway through....maybe I shoulda followed lead. What do I know, though, he's the Honor-Roll piano-prodigy soccer-star eternally-polite boygenius. When I was his age I was committing petty theft for attention and reading alien erotica on the internet, so maybe I could stand to learn a thing or two from him. Fuck if I know.
I was tired before this discount-Incandenza shitshow started. Now I'm not even sure if I can muster fatigue. It's despair all th way down 2nite xx
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janthonyashtoreth 2 years ago
Another big batch of asks!
Answering a bunch of asks under the cut! Most of them are ink and flowers centric. I hope you all are doing well <3
anonymous asked: wait wait hold up Anathema works in Azra's tattoo parlour?? amazing, when i was thinking of making my own florist/tattoo artist au, i also had Anathema be Aziraphale's apprentice :D i like when these two are friends. do you have any more headcanons about Anathema in ink and flowers?
she does!! she was doing an apprenticeship under him but has since graduated to doing her own thing (but she still works at his parlor). i can鈥檛 get into the whole plot because spoilers but angels/demons and agnes nutter鈥檚 prophecies still exist in the iaf universe, but anathema isn鈥檛 her descendant. instead, anathema is a wickedly smart computer genius and her boyfriend newt is an endearing but kind of inept descendent of agnes. anathema was azra鈥檚 good friend-turned-wingwoman once anthony shows up. i love her
anonymous asked: concept: aziraphale seeing crowley presenting femininely for the first time how'd you think he'd react? in your flower shop tattoo artist au
anonymous asked: OKAY totally not asking bc i may or may not have been thinkin abt this for like. too long. but would anthony have to like, come out as genderfluid to azra/how would azra react to seeing anthony present more fem for the first time
ooo ive been thinking about this as well! i dont think anthony would necessarily have a聽鈥渃oming out moment鈥, they just kind of do what they want. if they feel like presenting fem or using different pronouns they would just. do it. and azra would just kind of roll with it. i like to think that the first time anthony presented fem she got all dressed up for date night and didn鈥檛 tell azra and azra just Stares bc,,,, wow anthony is just gorgeous like that!! azra鈥檚 dead!!!
anonymous asked: You're a cutie pie. That's it. That's the fact.
:鈥 ) you鈥檙e a sweety pie!!!
anonymous asked: i deadass tried for 20 minutes to make the finger heart...... how did your friend do it......
i have absolutely no idea and it hurts my brain,,,
anonymous asked: Wahoo
@alligatorsnbats asked: OK, so what's Oscar's thoughts on Anthony?
oscar LOVES anthony... he鈥檚 the worlds most apathetic cat but he actively seeks anthony out when hes around. azra is only slightly salty about it
anonymous asked: Is Anthony cross eyed?
he鈥檚 not! i made him a little bit cross-eyed in my latest post on purpose bc he was flustered but i dont know if it came across very well ;;
anonymous asked: not to be *THAT* bitch who comes into your ask box and gushes over your art but i love the way you colour things and your clean line work?? mwah. i wish i could draw like you its just so lovely
bfdkjfdh im cry,,,, just keep practicing my friend!!! i promise it鈥檒l get you where you want to go. the last couple of months have been really nice for me in my ~art journey~ because its the first time i鈥檝e ever really liked stuff that i鈥檝e drawn. ive been drawing for about 7-8 years and this is only just happening and it varies so much from person to person!! some people get to where they want to go in 2 years, some people take 20. just don鈥檛 stop practicing!!
anonymous asked: your human!crowley deserves infinite appreciation and the fact that he has coloboma: that right there! is! good shit! he has snake eyes,,,, but as a human. u are a genius good sir and your art is a blessing 馃憣馃憣馃憣
haha thank you!! i think coloboma (i know how to spell it now!!) is such an interesting condition and it鈥檚 kind of underused for human aus!!! its so dope!!!
@bolitakawaii-senpai asked: what would crowley's and azi's fav emojies from the cursed emojis??
asking the real questions out here..... i think crowley鈥檚 would be the one with all of the teeth and aziraphale鈥檚 (assuming he knows what they are in the first place) would be the really cute one with big eyes and the pink hairbow
anonymous asked: concept for the ink and flowers au: something happens to crowley (imma b honest i have no idea) and has a lowkey crisis and chops all his hair off and just. joins his pet snake and snakes around the nursery untill azra comes in seeing crowley crying and cuddling his snake and yeah idk enjoy my the weird shit my brain comes up with
jhuyhaijodfaydgsihfujoi RIP TO THE HAIR...... i love the angst potential (and i can come up with a few reasons for the angst, but i digress) but i dont think i could part with anthony鈥檚 hair,,, i love it too much
anonymous asked: I can't handle your ink and flowers Aziraphale. I can't. His hair is TOO fluffy. His face is TOO squishy. He is EXTREMELY friend shaped. His glasses and his eyes are bright like SPARKLES. Every time I see him I want to go feral and show all my friends. I would hug him without letting go of given the chance. 1000000000/10. 馃挏馃悵
anonymous asked: I have a cat just like Oscar (big himbo) and I got him some knit hats for Christmas and he's gonna hate me but I can't wait to dress him up like a little bee so: does Azra ever give Oscar like costumes or footies just for fun? If yes, does Oscar love or hate? 馃挏馃悵
isldakfj im grouping these two together bc im assuming ur the same person anon!! i love your signature!!
you鈥檙e correct. his hair IS too fluffy, and he IS entirely too friend shaped. he has the BRIGHTEST eyes. i cant contain my rabid love for him and it spills out into the art. i can鈥檛 help it. he gives the best hugs
SLADKFJ YES HE DOES..... IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE,,,, as i mentioned earlier oscar is the world鈥檚 most apathetic cat so i dont think he would care that much but he鈥檚 not super happy about it
anonymous asked: Y'know what? I'm too tired so say smth clever so just know that I love you and your art is amazing 馃挄馃挄 PS: i love that you also tag them as Ineffable partners (i guess the point is to be gender neutral)
i love you as well anon,,, and yeah i like the ineffable partners tag! i find that it fits more with their relationship for some reason.聽though i still tag as ineffable husbands since its such a popular tag lksdfjdfknjbh
anonymous asked: Hello! Fist of all thank you for yor art, you are one of my favorite artists in this fandom and I have Feelings about the Ink and Flowers AU. Second: Don't feel pressured to post daily, we understand that life is complicated and art can be difficult sometimes. Take care! You're the best!
anon i would die for you!!! i never imagined that i would ever be one of anyone鈥檚 favorite artists,,,,, im speechless,,,,,,,,
and yeah unfortunately i dont think ill be able to post every other day once this coming semester starts :( i鈥檒l probably have to cut back to once every 3. but there鈥檚 more ink and flowers coming at u guys so!! stay tuned for that
anonymous asked: Good omens characters having a game night?
i know this was sent in for the au prompts i asked for but. i dont think im physically capable of capturing the pure chaos that would ensue from this. holy shit it would be so feral.聽
thank you to anyone who read this whole thing!! i read all of my asks as soon as i get them and i have a lot that i鈥檝e been sitting on for a while. if you sent me something i promise i haven鈥檛 forgotten about it!! if you鈥檝e sent something in that you were expecting a response to and i havent responded, just send it again to be safe in case tumblr ate it
i love all of you! <3
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chang-kyuwu 2 years ago
Monsta X Kihyun Superhero!AU
Warnings:聽Swearing, violence
Length:聽3,559 Words
Notes:聽i was fifteen when i wrote this pls dont judge me too hard. whether its good or not.... it was fun to write and i think it was the second thing i ever posted on this account so i love it regardless
| Kihyun | Wonho | Minhyuk | I.M | Shownu | Jooheon | Hyungwon |
Kihyun is a pretty firey person
so yeah he can control fire
honestly wasnt that into being a superhero when they started
minhyuk: hey you guys wanna be like superheroes or something
kihyun: why the hell would we wanna do that?
minhyuk: ..... shenanigans
it was a firm 鈥榥o鈥 at first but everyone was slowly convinced to join and Kihyun鈥檚 like fuck it I got nothing better to do
(also setting people on fire is kinda fun but if he admits that out loud people might think hes a psychopath)
and so comes a team of seven superheros, sworn to defend the city at all costs
but really theyre just seven dorks like
minhyuk: he has a gun!
kihyun: you can literally go faster than anything ever!
minhyuk: what if I get shot?!
kihyun: go save the people!
designing costumes was a fun time too
im: you know, I really don鈥檛 think neon green is your colour
kihyun: as I told you about sixteen times but was ignored
minhyuk: lets try orange!
kihyun: how bout no
long story short, his suit ends up orange and Minhyuk put a lil hood on it in case it rains
kihyun doesnt see the point but minhyuk is like :(
and honestly he doesnt want to deal with the aftermath of saying no to minhyuk
its just too much effort for him so he gets a lil hood
he gets to design the mask though witch is literally just a boring mask the same colour as his suit
(at least until a certain someone *cough*changkyun*cough* draws all over it)
you arent a hero or a villain
you are a..... very angry human with super strength
the broken noses you鈥檝e given are somewhere in the hundreds
and you also feel the need to always show off your strength because 鈥測eah I can lift this box like its nothing, what can you do you weak ass b-鈥
your parents never really approved of that but you鈥檙e free now so you can do whatever the fuck you want
they call a lot though just to make sure you havent accidentally murdered anyone
you think your new place at this new city is pretty awesome and there are superheroes so yeah awesome
but this city also has a lotta crime going on
that doesnt really worry you tho considering you could literally throw a car at someone if you wished
which you often do wish
and may have actually done so one time in primary school when you threw your teachers car into a pole in a small temper tantrum
your parents werent very pleased
but you visit the bank one time because you gotta get your new account set up and someone comes in with a gun and asks for everyones money
see you would give up the five dollars you have in your pocket
but you prefer getting ice cream later on so you decide no and punch him in the face when he comes to you
the guy goes flying backwards and you turn to the bank lady with a smile like 鈥渢his is my phone number if you need to call me about my bank account, thanks鈥
and you walk outta the bank feeling like a badass
that robbery was over before it even begun
when the supers get there expecting to find an armed robber and instead find some civillians in shock and you just sauntering out with a smile
theyre pretty confused
鈥榚xcuse me whats happening?鈥
so you tell them about knocking that guy out and theyre a little shocked but they go in to arrest the guy
and holy shit his nose is broken and theyre surprised his back isn鈥檛 from the hit he took
鈥渨tf does that person have super strength or something?!鈥
minhyuk meant it as a joke but then a second later, his face is the perfect picture of 鈥榦h no鈥
and he goes racing back out to find you but you鈥檝e already reached your ice cream shop and he doesn鈥檛 know where the hell you are
but they get your phone number from the bank lady which is kind of a dick move but shes in awestruck at the superheroes so hes like 鈥測eah you can have my car take my children too take whatever man鈥
鈥渟low down there鈥
so the boys get back to hq minhyuks garage and theyre actually not sure what to do
just because theyre superheroes, doesnt mean theyre good ones
鈥渏ust call them鈥
鈥渨hat if they think we鈥檙e weird for getting their number off the bank lady? what if they punch us in the face and we end up like the robber?鈥
鈥渏ust call them!鈥
鈥渨hy are we even calling them in the first place? I mean they obviously arent a villain鈥
eventually, after a long discussion, Kihyun just decides to call you because this is going nowhere
and he puts it on speaker as it rings for a while before a voice on the other end says something
and its not what he expected
you: sup, whos this?
kihyun: um.... uh...
you: um uh! oh wow, its been so long since I last saw you, how鈥檚 it going old bud?
and everyone is just snickering in the background while Kihyuns internally like 鈥渨hat am I meant to say?!鈥
kihyun: hi my name is kihyun, im calling about your superpowers....?
minhyuk, snacking in the background: why do you sound you like work at a call centre?
the rest of the team are trying not to die of laughter because theyve never seen Kihyun so awkward but Kihyun is wanting to die because this is the worst conversation he鈥檚 ever had
he literally hates his entire existence right now
you: so.... what exactly about my superpowers do you need to know
kihyun: well, uh.... hmm....
you: you dont even know, do you?
kihyun: well, you鈥檙e- I dont even know why Im calling you I just did it to make my friends shut up
you: wow, Im really feeling the love right now.
kihyun: wait no bad choice of words no
Minhyuk cant hold his laughter anymore and soon everyone is joining in and Kihyun just sighs
you: your friends are laughing at you
kihyun: yes I am quite aware of that
you: you know what, just come get ice cream with me, I think that鈥檒l be easier
kihyun: ........what?
everyone is suddenly listening intently again
you tell him that if he does want to talk about how cool your super strength is, he can come to your favourite ice cream shop
shit kinda...... hits the fan once you hang up
minhyuk: is this a date? did you just get a date?
kihyun: no its just business!
and then everyone's shoving normal clothes in Kihyuns face for him to wear instead of his super suit and eventually hes ready and Minhyuks giving him a pep talk and Kihyuns like
鈥渢his isn鈥檛 a date what are you on about?????鈥
鈥渢his is more than just business ok we dont know how it came to be that way but that's how it is now鈥
so Kihyun ends up going to get ice cream with someone that literally broke a persons face today and honestly?
he kinda enjoys it
at first youre like 鈥渙h youre kihyun! that weird guy who鈥檚 interested in my superpowers!鈥
鈥測eah..... thats me鈥
but then you two get your ice cream and its a lot better
youre a cool person even if you tease him relentlessly
in the end, youre pretty happy because even though the circumstances were kinda weird, you got to meet someone pretty cool and Kihyun is pretty happy for the same reasons
he is literally attacked with questions the moment he gets back to HQ though
theres occasionally one that actually has to do with you being superhuman but mostly they just want to know what happened on your 鈥榙ate鈥
kihyun: it wasnt a date!
minhyuk: you got ice cream and talked for two hours Kihyun, that was a fucking date
you end up being the one to text him first later on because hes not actually sure whats happening
like he called you to ask about your superpowers and then suddenly youre getting ice cream together?? how did that happen?
when you confirm that the ice cream thing was indeed a date, hes torn between 鈥榦h my god Im dating someone!!!鈥 and 鈥榦h god Im dating someone...鈥
when his friends hear, they鈥檙e literally ready to throw a party bc they thought kihyun would always be single
he's been in minhyuk's little superhero friend group since he was fourteen and even jooheon has been on more dates than him
Jooheon gets really annoyed when minhyuk brings that up though because his tone of voice suggests jooheon getting game is a shocking thing
like ex-fucking-scuse me聽minhyuk where's your date
minhyuk: i have to look after all of you instead bc i'm the leader ok
shownu: *offended gasp*
but everyones like 鈥淚 wanna meet them gimme their number gimme their address gimme all of their personal info-鈥
Kihyun would rather keep his friends away from you because hes learnt about your anger issues through the constant texting and hes not sure you鈥檇 be able to survive five minutes with Minhyuk
at least not without breaking another persons face
he would also prefer if his friends didnt ruin his chances with someone that鈥檚 actually insterested in him despite how they met
because that phonecall was just an entire fuckshow and he will hate himself forever because of it
okay so a couple of weeks pass and youre pretty happy with kihyun despite still thinking hes kinda secretive and weird
but youre like 鈥淚 wanna meet your friends that were laughing at you when you called me鈥
at first he cringes because you just reminded him of the phone call again
but then he cringes because oh god youre gonna kill his friends and his friends are gonna kill his relationship
鈥測ay! awesome! lets go now, I need more friends so鈥
the entire walk to Minhyuk鈥檚 place, hes briefing you on all of his friends
鈥淐hangkyun is a little weird, you might not even see him the entire time but believe me hes there. dont let him get any blackmail material on you, he knows everything鈥
鈥淢inhyuk is pretty fast paced, no one can keep up with him on anything. he will not stop talking to you, if you find yourself conversing, escape.鈥
鈥淛ooheon is friendly but also has some weird habbits, ignore him if he starts talking to dogs, dont comment on it, he gets very offended.鈥
鈥淗oseok is probably the only one Im not worried about, he鈥檒l be fine. honestly he鈥檒l be your best friend within five minutes鈥
鈥溾榙ont get on Hyungwon鈥檚 bad side... just dont鈥欌
鈥渁nd you probably dont want to get in a fight with Hyunwoo, its hard to anger him but no one ever wins against him so...鈥
you: hmmm sounds fun
kihyun: seriously no
you: but I wanna
kihyun: you hear its impossible to beat someone and you take that as a challenge?
you: duh
actually meeting them is..... interesting
Kihyun sent word ahead that you were coming over and Minhyuk got out all of his food and already has his TV set up in case everyone wants to watch a movie
when you arrive, minhyuk is the first person to run to the front door and excitedly shake your hand
minhyuk: hello hello! youre the super strong super awesome person our kiki dating!
he doesnt stop shaking your hand until wonho is like 鈥渃alm down there buddy鈥
you also cant help but notice there are exactly seven of them...... just like the superhero group
probably a coincidence
but its actually pretty fun hanging out with them, and you come by often after that day
you always think it's kinda weird that the entire friend group hang out at minhyuk's house but you guess that's just the designated Hang Out Spot
like all of them even have keys to the place and since you're dating kihyun, you get a key as well
you: we've known each other for like a month, what r u doing
minhyuk: this house is basically a public park at this point, I don't even care anymore
the only one that has his own house and its barely even his smh
but it means you get to go to his house in the middle of the night to eat all his snacks so you're not complaining
honestly his house is like a second home to all of you, you and kihyun literally have dates there
and there's always at least two people in the house
Changkyun pretty much lives there as well because he keeps forgetting to pay his power bill and has no heating in his apartment
things get interesting during one of your group movie nights when about an hour into unironically watching twilight, five of them disappear, leaving just you, Kihyun, and Minhyuk at home
kihyun: theyre just picking something up
you: all five? damn, must be pretty big
Kihyun, thinking about the report they just got on a giant mutated gorilla: yeah..... pretty big
you have to leave before all of them get back and you go back to your apartment pretty happy despite half of them disappearing and you get a text from your parents
they wanted to make sure youre alright after the gorilla attack and youre like 鈥渨hat the actual fuck a goddamn gorilla attacked the city and I didnt even notice鈥
then you turn on the news and look it up and find out that yes, a fucking gorilla attacked
what is the world coming to?
you dont wanna have to worry about planet of the apes when youve finally got a boyfriend
then you read that only five of the seven superheroes are there and it makes you think about Kihyuns descriptions of his friends
鈥淐hangkyun is a little weird, you might not even see him the entire time but believe me hes there.鈥
one of the superheroes could turn invisible
鈥淢inhyuk is pretty fast paced, no one can keep up with him on anything鈥
one of the superheroes had super speed
鈥淛ooheon is friendly but also has some weird habbits, ignore him if he starts talking to dogs鈥
one of the superheroes can communicate with animals
鈥淗oseok is probably the only one Im not worried about, he鈥檒l be fine. honestly he鈥檒l be your best friend within five minutes鈥
one of the superheroes could feel others emotions and understand them
鈥渄ont get on Hyungwon鈥檚 bad side... just dont鈥
one of the superheroes had telekinesis
鈥渁nd you probably dont want to get in a fight with Hyunwoo, its hard to anger him but no one ever wins against him鈥
one of the superheroes was invulnerable
鈥渉oly shit am I dating the fire guy?鈥
youre kinda surprised you didnt put this together sooner
especially since changkyun kept zoning out and going kinda see through
after that, you dont actually tell them youve figured it out
but you do like to make them freak out
鈥渉ey minhyuk, wouldn鈥檛 it be cool if you had super speed? it would just match your personality so well鈥
鈥渕an Changkyun, I hardly ever see you, its like youre invisible half the time鈥
鈥渨onho I swear you always know how Im feeling鈥
the looks on their faces always makes you internally laugh at their suffering and youre not sure if you want to ever let them know you鈥檝e found out their secret
then one day while youre watching shit go down on the the news with these two new supervillains and youre cheering on your friends
you see one of the baddies electrocute a certain fire powered superhero
and you may or may not have multiple heart attacks as you race out of your home without even locking the door
you head to the scene and see who you think is shownu protecting kihyun and you decide that you are going to fuck some shit up
no one even notices you until youve gotten ahold of the supervillain that is apparently able to hypnotise people and you just throw her
right into a bus
everyone sort of just turns to you with a shocked expression and all of the people gathered to watch the fight are like 鈥榟oly shit鈥 but you just shrug before the pikachu fanboy tries to murder you
minhyuk manages to get you away from him in time and hes like 鈥渨hat the actual fuck are you doing here?鈥
鈥渟ome bitch just electrocuted my boyfriend, of course Im gonna come in here and break their everything!鈥
minhyuk: wait...... you know?
you: bro Ive known for like a month, youre not very subtle
minhyuk: well.... fuck
you end up just picking up Kihyun because he weighs literally nothing to you and trying to get back to Minhyuk鈥檚 place so you can try to help him
you freak out everytime he convulses though because electricity... its not very good for people
hopefully the others will be fast though, you took down hypnosis so they should have an easier time with electro dude
hey maybe you should name superheroes and villains
.....no youre not very good at it...
before you even make it to minhyuks place, minhyuk himself has sped ahead to help you
and after a lot of stress and you being really bad with minhyuk鈥檚 discount heart monitor, Kihyun is still unconscious but probably not dying and everyone can relax
the rest of the team has arrived by now and you鈥檝e revealed that yes, you know they鈥檙e superheroes, you鈥檝e known for a month, they suck at keeping secrets
minhyuk: why didnt you tell us you knew we were superheroes?
you: because watching you freak out everytime I insinuated such was too much fun
minhyuk: you are... a terrible person
and because everyone wants distract themself from Kihyun鈥檚 current fragile state of health, you all talk about superhero names
they鈥檙e still pretty new so they dont have any names and you want to correct that
im: well, I want to be I.M
you: ...... does that stand for iron man?
im: ....no.......
changkyun being a fanboy aside, you were also now planning on joining the team which meant you needed a name too... even though everyone would already know who you are.... oh well
but minhyuk interrupts your brain storming like 鈥渋ts cool that you want to join us but I think Kihyun might try to kill me when he realises you were involved in the fight and then he鈥檒l find a way to bring me back and kill me again if he finds out you鈥檙e joining the team鈥
kihyun: whos joining the team?
everyone madly scrambles to get to Kihyun first now that hes awake but you push Minhyuk out of the way with such force that he falls over and trips wonho so you make it there first
you: okay Ive been thinking about a name for you, something like firehawk or phoeni-
kihyun: what
you: oh right, you havent been informed. yeah Ive known about your little secret for about month now and Im joining the team since I had about seventeen heart attacks today because of you and anyone who objects is ending up like hypnosis
he kinda just stares for a while before slowly asking what happened to 鈥榟ypnosis鈥 to which Minhyuk brings up a news report detailing all of the broken bones she has and how long it鈥檒l take her to recover before she goes to prison
kihyun: oh
you: yeah also do you think oblivion is a cool name because like I can punch people into oblivion and personally, i think that sounds pretty metal-
queue the group watching intently when kihyun interrupts you with a hug and minhyuks quitely like 鈥渟omeone get a camera I must remember this forever鈥
until wonho pushes them all of out of the room so you two can have your moment in peace and makes sure to hold Changkyuns hand the entire time because he doesnt trust him not to go back in invisible
you: sooooo is that a yes on oblivion....?
kihyun: just want you to know I love you
you: holy shi- I mean um... I love you too
and kihyun ends up laughing because youre suddenly more awkward than he was during that god awful phone call and your cheeks are bright red
which is kinda cute but he doesnt want you to explode so he doesnt say anything
so you join the super team!
and everyone already knows your聽鈥榮ecret identity鈥 because of that first crime fighting incident
but you鈥檇 probably reveal it pretty quickly either way because you are not聽subtle about being a superhero
you鈥檙e even worse than the rest of your team
it just means that people go to you to deliver their superhero fan mail
well, you鈥檙e also the target for any supervillain kidnapping schemes but it ends with the other party having a lot聽of broken bones rather than you being kidnapped
and everytime you stop a would be kidnapper, kihyun is chilling in the background like聽鈥測eah thats my super strong s/o, just try and come at us鈥
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drgnbrst a year ago
im remaking my punchline cringepost as a headcanon cringepost instead
disclaimer that i absolutely do not actually deeply align myself with punchline. i just think it would be interesting if she were asian because i am an asian person who grew up in a household where i developed some problems under the surface, so i could understand how someone under similar but worse conditions could end up like she does聽
i looked more into her race and while a lot of people think she could be asian, i havent been able to find any conclusive statements abt her ethnicity! so i am taking east asian punchline and running with her. i like the idea of her being asian so if its not necessarily canon its still my headcanon for her for reasons in the post
i like the origin story for her character bc it feels like theyre trying to create someone who wants to free themselves of any and all expectations and cares, and is achieving this by becoming the only kind of person not bound to morals or even any conventional norms at all? i think if they use that momentum she has the potential to be a really interesting character and villain
to me its interesting to look at how she might have developed the mindset of 鈥淭otal Freedom(tm) regardless of how it affects others鈥 from family and societal influences if she were an asian woman. being taught to be considerate of others and to be convenient to the point where she had to devalue herself could result in her becoming spiteful against the system itself and everyone in it!
yeah but dont get me wrong this hc is... on thin ice even to me, bc i think she could easily fall into the submissive asian woman stereotype because of how much she wants the joker鈥檚 approval and yknow, is his gf/partner or whatever which would not be the rep and character depth i want BUT it could also make her feel more human? but also hes literally extremely evil and supposed to be one of the worst villains and shes just working for him or something. so realistically i should just go stan a better asian character
tldr i think how theyre shaping her is cool and could intersect well with aspects of asian culture and parenting so i hc her as east asian but shes obviously highly problematic for so many reasons so is this really the rep i want!聽
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brokenhayatim a year ago
鈥渉ave you been pushing it off because you鈥檙e scared..or is it something you don鈥檛 want to do?鈥
my answer was a long pause and 鈥渢he middle鈥. in my mind there鈥檚 a whole map with way too many red strings stretching between the two options. it鈥檚 been a year since i was told of surgery and i still havent grown solid on one answer. the logical part of my mind fighting the emotional. i was thinking today how everything has changed only in the last two years. i鈥檝e been living with this for near eight years and hadn鈥檛 sought out help till like year 6. my neurologist at nyu, i had only met her in 2018. he asked if this was because i was too busy with being in another state, and i agreed knowing it was not. i was never too busy for this. it has been on my mind for months, like months. i鈥檝e purposely ignored sometimes and i鈥檝e thought hard other times. (my dad just immediately saying i鈥檒l do it at the end at the of the month..idk who you鈥檙e referring to bc it aint me) he explained so much more risks. genuinely i thought he was gonna be like yeah idk what they mean you鈥檙e all good and my heart would sink. which is odd, of course. but as i鈥檝e said once before, i鈥檝e grown attached to this and i began to recognize it better? i shouldnt say i love that i have this in me but i kind of do. it gives me something. it keeps me interesting to myself. it鈥檚 almost amazing when i think of every consequence. anyways, i was just expecting to be deflated because i made this to be more than what it was. turns out, the jokes been good because i鈥檓 worse than i was told. and what鈥檚 happening will only progress as it is already, he says it already progressing (i didnt have more than headaches till 2018 when everything else slowly began creeping in) and there鈥檚 no way to go back and get better now without surgery. if i live with it, it鈥檒l never go away no matter what i do and more likely than not worsen.
鈥渋鈥檝e began to feel prideful in having a neurological condition. it makes me something, i have something i can tell. this is the thought that started the spiral. i feel something with this pain. what will happen when i can鈥檛 feel this anymore? what will i turn to next? what does the loss feel like?鈥
i said to my dad, 鈥測ou stay here okay? i鈥檒l go in first and call you after.鈥 alot was said that i still am ??? on bc med mubo jumbo. but i understood most of it and how bad it is. he said the surgery really does have risks, that it鈥檈 80/20. he said i had to think if in the end, this would make me say i shouldnt have done it or im glad that i did that. like ?? how am i supposed to know that. i already hate the unknown and you鈥檙e asking me to ask it a question. there are inevitable risks if i don鈥檛 like loss of hand coordination, balance issues, loss of strength in the limbs and arms, cognitive issues - all irreversible. 鈥渟troke is fair game...this could also result in comatose.鈥 all not meant to scare me but to help me understand. the surgery, he explained, also had risks, i could suffer bleedings or have to do multiple surgeries if there鈥檚 another issue (that i forgot). the post surgery pain for this surgery will be the most excruciating bc it鈥檚 not like a tumor (which is usually rlly near to one of my problem areas) where they cut skin from the top but they鈥檙e cutting through the bone in the back - but his pain plan (i cant remember what he called it) is good so they鈥檒l be manyyy strong drugs. same as i鈥檝e been told, with a 3/4 day recovery and about a month still in recovery.
鈥渟ometimes..i wish i had more. i feel proud of myself when people have headaches, like i know the worst of that pain, and i鈥檝e been through it. i don鈥檛 know if it鈥檚 because i want to be validated in having it or if it鈥檚 just how i am like that.鈥
i was fine, a little emotional with a foggy brain but okay. i came home after 6 hours, still fine. then somehow it was 11 oclock and i was staring at the wall listening to music that was so upbeat and a tear just fell. so random, i was legit surprised. i got up and looked at the MRI far off on my bed and that鈥檚 when the waterworks hit and i just cried and cried. i鈥檓 not usually afraid (other than almost dying in that car hours before). never been afraid of this. and i still am not. as much as i鈥檇 love to say yeah, i was scared or anxious to his question, it would feel too fake. but i also dont want to be afraid. i dont want to be that person that falls apart (which i do anyways) and is so incredibly worried. i don鈥檛 have enough care in my bones like that for myself. it is what it is. as if i鈥檓 above that. (remember when my neurologist called me and said i needed to go to the er the next day to see the neurosurgeon and i just went ..okay but i have class in the morning..and of course, i went to class first)
鈥淸a friend] said something in the car about how interesting my diagnosis was but how more interesting my reaction to it is. 鈥測ou鈥檙e so like鈥︹ 鈥渓owkey?鈥 鈥淵ES! like im just鈥 what bothers you??鈥 鈥渁nything not about me..people bother me鈥
but yesterday after hearing all of that. the risks that would make anyone scared, whichever the route, i was scared. scared because i hadn鈥檛 made this choice yet and i wouldn鈥檛 be able to. genuinely i am afraid that this is the one thing i鈥檓 not able to decide, and then become the 鈥榠m glad i did that鈥 or the 鈥榠 shouldnt have done that鈥. hearing the risks, my response to that wasnt really fear but just becoming overwhelmed. i only really got !! when he said bleeding and i was like ok damn bc i visualized it. i鈥檓 indecisive but to this extreme? it鈥檚 insane. i can鈥檛 say that i dont know aloud bc i dont have a reason that isn鈥檛 a three hour response or a way too long of a tumblr post. it鈥檚 not even a sentence long answer, forget one word. thinking like that though, makes me not only sound insane, but how undeserving am i? i鈥檓 given an out that i鈥檓 actually thinking of taking bc i鈥檓 dumb enough to not let this go. give this surgery to someone else more worthy of actually wanting it, not me.
鈥渢his idea of romanticizing pain, though all the long term consequences are being warned. how beautiful it feels right now. there鈥檚 this devils advocate in me that says she loves pain. and some part of me, wonders where she was born from, at what point did i stop seeing this horrible sensation as that.鈥
you know how people do that thing with ultrasounds where they trace the little fetus, i felt the need to do that with my brain scan - lightly moving my fingers from my spine to the cerebrum.
i always have felt that there鈥檚 something innately wrong with me. this infection i used to write about. there鈥檚 something in there and it鈥檚 never been right. too dark. too sad. too nothing. too selfish. not shameful enough. i was thinking of this and smiled, because it truly does make sense. my entire brain is damaged. how convenient right? the center of it all (besides to the heart) needs to be fixed. nothing i can help and nothing i鈥檝e caused. my own semi tangible infection. we both get worse as we grow older. it makes sense. my beautifully broken brain.
鈥渙ur time though, was spent on this idea of me using pain as an act of penance. punishment for something ive done. for who i am. and he always asks me why it is that i think i鈥檓 a bad person, and i wish i knew an answer. the idea that ive inflicted more physical pain than i should be able to handle to the point of tolerance, and emotional pain too, as this form of punishment is so strange but i know there鈥檚 truth to it. it explains why i crave it so much, why i silence it so well, why i let it pass as if its nothing, why i wish it back. what have you done for you to be a bad person? because you鈥檙e not. you think you deserve this pain as punishment for something, for what?鈥
he said , as he covered the brain scan with his two hands, "if i just looked at this middle part, I would tell you that you need surgery, even if you said you had no symptoms. it鈥檚 a no brainer.鈥 (he didn鈥檛 hear me say pun intended sigh) but that intrigued me now. he says the bottom part, where i just learned i have fluid in my spine, definitely needs surgery or it鈥檒l do permanent damage to the spine soon. he鈥檚 ordering a new MRI to see how low it goes in the spine. for all those at home, we have a arachnoid cyst literally creating the chiari malformation by pushing my cerebellum down, blocking the csf (cerebrospinal fluid) flow and pushing on my spine. the top right part of my head in the cerebral cortex, the ventricular has 4x as much fluid that鈥檚 not be able to move because the blockage so it just tries leaking everywhere in the brain that it can. and then we have the spinal cord problem. ladies and gents, i鈥檓 the mental mess i鈥檝e always been.
normal : mine
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he stuck the q-tip so far down my throat and just stared at me oddly so he did it more and further, and i didnt even flinch. 鈥測ou have no gag reflex..which explains your difficulty swallowing.鈥 it鈥檚 called dysphagia and is actually caused by my chiari. the first months i felt it, i was so hyperaware. i couldn鈥檛 swallow properly and it took so much of my throat to just swallow my spit. i thought i had the virus and was so worried, my sisters told me to go to the er and i was like nah. but i genuinely thought it was gonna close up in my sleep and i was nervous. we did alot more exercises, more than i鈥檓 used to but nice. mostly touching and pulling hands and same with feet. also when i walked in, instead of shaking my hand, we elbow fived :鈥 he tested my reflexes in my leg and there鈥檚 always nothing, so he asked if i was feeling stiff and i was like uh nope. my neck and lower skull area has been in pain for about two weeks now and he was like tilt your head back though, i鈥檓 like my dude do you want to decapitate me? he didn鈥檛 even really ask for alot of my symptoms bc he knew what most would be i guess. i showed him the list i quickly made pretty on the way there and he was like oh why didnt you show me this? i said i had it at the start mhm. but he was just like, yeah all of this makes sense.
he said he wanted to do about three more MRI鈥檚 and i should just come in to the er to do them and then they could probably whisk me away to surgery the next day and IM NERVOUS BECAUSE IT鈥橲 TOO SOON. three more MRI鈥檚 brings our count to nine total also, plus an EEG. you know though, i was thinking of how i had two neurologists (i鈥檝e seen three but the first was stank) and three neurosurgeons up till this point. and coincidentally, the neurologists are women and the neurosurgeons are men.
anyways. i came home and decided to re-read a part in the book where i love the woman and she has a super similar neuro condition:
鈥淗ow about we don鈥檛 jump to any conclusions yet? We don鈥檛 know whether it is CSF or something else. Let鈥檚 see the ENT specialist tomorrow and then start to worry about tests and scans and surgeries.鈥
I reread it and was like ?? wait whats an ent specialist again? so i asked my sister to search it up and it stands for ears, nose and throat specialist. about four hours later, the same neurosurgeon calls and says he鈥檚 sending the referral for me to see an ENT and the eye doctor again. i was like brooooo!!!!then i also remembered how i saw a brain and spine doctor at the hospital twice, she was so pwetty. all of them are so interesting, i kind of love that i know so many. is that weird? there鈥檚 just so many specialties and each are focused on different things that directly connect to the brain. ugh, the hospital visit that felt like seven three days. the neurosurgeon actually said he was gonna come the next day to see the MRI i did at like 7 pm, but i bouncedd that night even though they recommended i shouldnt for like two hours. they came to me and went 鈥測ou鈥檙e getting your wayyy. we can discharge you鈥 and i was like yesss bye. it took a whole hour for the MRI bc they had to wheel me down, the MRI was as usual 30/45 mins, but the wait afterwards omg. i told them i was fine and could walk but they had me wait on a bed for the wheelchair person to come, which took so long i could鈥檝e walked three floors in that time so i was so tired of being there.
this is so long please. i鈥檓 logging off and shutting down my brain. time to put her to sleep.
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seonfhwa 2 years ago
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hello friends! tis your favorite (or not) mingi stan, here with her first follow forever!聽
recently, i hit the big milestone of 1,000 followers, something i never thought would happen! really, i want to thank all of you for following me, for supporting my content, for being a part of this mess of a blog.聽
to those who came on over after i remade, and to those who only started following me yesterday, i love you all from the bottom of my heart.
click for some more fun things for my moots! (it gets long, i鈥檓 so sorry)!
i was thinking of doing something special, but i don鈥檛 know to what extent i could really do for all of you guys ;; if there鈥檚 anything you want (a lil blurb, a moodboard, a smol gifset) just let me know! this part鈥檚 only for mutuals, though, so keep that in mind. i don鈥檛 know how quick i can get all of the stuff done, but i would definitely do anything for you guys!!
for my mutuals, i鈥檝e written each of you a little message. some may be shorter than others, but know that my love is overflowing and unending even if i may not be good with words!! also this isn鈥檛 really in any specific order!
@smol-joong 馃専 miss anett... i have a whole lot to say (if i say all of it we鈥檒l be here forever), but honestly the main thing is... you鈥檙e my number one. you鈥檙e the sweetest, the most lovely, the most heartwarming. you鈥檙e someone i can count on no matter what, whether i need a pick me up or just attention. i love you, i truly truly do, and you always know how to make me happy. thank you for being my friend, for letting me love you, and for always being there for me!
@cherryjoong聽馃専 maggie!! you鈥檙e honestly the sweetest bean, the most relatable human i鈥檝e ever met. you were one of my first mutuals who really ever spoke to me, and i will forever hold you in a special place in my heart. you鈥檙e another person who鈥檚 always there for me, who really deserves the whole wide world. thank you for having such a big, caring heart.
@honeyboysan聽馃専 jules, darling jules. frankly, you鈥檙e one of my first friends on this hellsite. you know how my first thing to you was me going聽鈥渋 poked around on your blog for a while before finally following you鈥? im just a big babey and you鈥檙e one of the most lovely people in the world. i鈥檓 really glad we鈥檙e friends, that i was able to meet someone like you. you make my heart happy, and you deserve all of the happiness in the world. it鈥檚 really, really good to see you happy.
@heoneyology聽馃専 miss rainah!!! everyone always says you鈥檙e the mom type, and i鈥檇 have to agree. you鈥檙e sweet, you鈥檙e loving, you鈥檙e charming, and you鈥檙e one of the funniest people i know. your love for your biases (especially jooheon, zico, hongjoong, and ravn) makes my heart swell, and whenever i see you on my dash, i just get so happy. not to mention, when you鈥檙e happy, i鈥檓 happy! thank you for always being there to pick me up when i need it, and for being a ray of sunshine in my dull life.
@multidino聽馃専 kimora!!! my multifandom queen!!! honestly, first of all i want to thank you for supporting me in all of my adventures and being one of the first people to help me kickstart my vav blog. second of all-- thank you, for being you. for being a great friend, for being a kind soul, for being one of the best people on this website. you鈥檙e doing your best, and that鈥檚 what matters!!! i love you so so so so much!!!
@ateezartblog聽馃専 hello my sweet pumpkin. how are you today? have you eaten? did you sleep well? are you taking care of yourself? i hope you know how much i care about you!! i know you鈥檙e usually the one to come and check up on all of us, but sometimes you need it just as much as we do. please, angel love, remember to take care of yourself, even when you feel like you shouldn鈥檛. you are just as deserving as everyone else, and one day, i hope you can see that. until then, i鈥檒l make sure to remind you all of the time!! i love you lots!!
@wooyuong聽馃専 precious angel baby inna!! hello my sweetest beanie baby. frankly, i don鈥檛 know how someone like you wanted to be friends with someone like me, but every time we talk i鈥檓 like !! that鈥檚 her im super blessed bc !! we friends!! you鈥檙e super talented, you鈥檙e super cute, and pls pls pls always remember that!!! you deserve all good things in the world and i鈥檓 so super glad that we talk ;;;
@wangtaeil聽馃専 iconic miss bee!! life鈥檚 too short to only have one bias, and your words haunt help me to this day!!! i鈥檓 really glad i met you, because you鈥檝e kinda sorta been a really big source of inspiration and help for me, especially recently. from feeling shitty about gifs, not wanting to be around, to even needing help with some stuff, i know i can always trust you and confide in you. you鈥檙e a talented woman, and you really have so much going for you. and you want to be friends with a lil nugget like me??? i am undeserving but thankful.
@choisansbitch聽馃専 upaamaaa!!! now every time i eat a tuna sandwich, i think of you (i eat tuna a lot, so take that... i鈥檓 ALWAYS thinking about you). i know when we first started talking, i was nervous because i ??? really didnt feel like i even deserved to talk to you, cause you鈥檙e like... super amazing. but i鈥檓 so glad we鈥檙e friends!! you make some of the best gifs, and even if you don鈥檛 think so, i love them so so much!! and you鈥檙e honestly one of the sweetest, most relatable people in the world. please never lose your charm, i love you so much.
@missminji聽馃専 hARLSS!!!! im still shocked that your super secret detective skills figured me out, but hey!! in the end they helped because now i actually talk to my聽鈥渞edacted鈥 (we all know who redacted is) and i love her sm ;;; we havent been talking too much recently (i think life鈥檚 been kicking us rip) but no matter what, i love you, and i love getting to talk to you whenever i can. thank you for being my friend, i don鈥檛 deserve someone as lovely as you.
@utopiagf聽馃専 you crazy, but ily. that鈥檚 it that鈥檚 the post-- ehrbgjehb im kidding, there鈥檚 so much more. you鈥檙e literally one of the most fun, bright, cheery person, and i love seeing you around. i know you just remade (and i was confused bc i was like?? nik??? where she go??) but literally i love love love seeing & talking to you, even if these days i鈥檓 still... super intimidated by you. but you鈥檙e such a sweetheart, and thank you for blessing me with your presence in my life. uwu
@visualsan聽馃専 honestly i need to talk to you more ehjbrhjge every time i talk to anett and we mention you (all good things, of course uwu) i鈥檓 like?? why do i not talk to bea more?? literally you seem like such the coolest person, and i love love love seeing you, your gifs, everything uwu so yeah!! pls let鈥檚 talk more ilysm!
@prettyseonghwa聽馃専 yas, i think you have one of the biggest hearts around here. you are so caring, so loving, and you really need to know that. i love you, really, so so much. thank you for always being there for us, for always giving the best advice and love that we all need. just know!! that you deserve a break too. you deserve all of the love you give-- and more.聽
@dreamboyunho聽馃専 cami, miss cami, my numba 1!!! you鈥檝e always been someone i adore and cherish with all of my heart, but even recently we connected in a different, probably more personal way. it may not have been the best of circumstances but i鈥檓 really glad we did! i treasure you so much, and i鈥檓 glad i found someone i can truly confide in. we鈥檙e like!! two peas of a pod!! i鈥檓 really super duper glad i met you and that i can call you my friend.
@jonghostation聽馃専 miss adelle uwu you鈥檙e so sweet and precious and we need more jongho stans like you (and more jongho stans in general) in this world!! i love talking to you, though recently i鈥檝e been dead and not really socializing but i really do enjoy seeing you around and getting to talk to you!! you鈥檙e such a sweet soul and i love you. recently i saw you said you lowkey wish i was your mom?? c鈥檓ere baby you鈥檙e my child now uwu thank you for being the sweetest angel. aND I COULD NEVER FORGET YOUR ICONIC URL!!! ATINY LESSGEDDIT!!! DROP THE BEAT YOOOOO!!
@celestial-yunho聽馃専 nini, you are literally... so talented. i dont know how i managed to score such a talented, loving, and sweet friend. your art!! is so good and im always really excited to see more of what you do. you鈥檙e my lil moon witch, and i love you so so much. thank you for giving me the time of day to get to know you, to be able to say that鈥檚 her!! thats nini!! thats my friend uwu you鈥檙e so precious and i hope you know that!!
@nctyping聽馃専 im gonna be honest idek why i first followed you-- not in a like聽鈥渦gh why did a follow her,,鈥 i literally just cannot remember why i did. either way, it was one of the best decisions i鈥檝e ever made. you鈥檙e one of the sweetest people in the whole world and i love reading what you write. like?? teach me your ways ;;; ily abbey!!
@toothgaptual聽馃専 sun sun sunshine sunnie!!! okay, we don鈥檛 talk a ton, but i love love love when we do get to interact. you always manage to put a smile on my face, and i looove seeing you on my dash. please never ever think you鈥檙e bothersome or annoying, and talk your heart out! ilysm you cutie patootie!
@wonderhwalls聽馃専 sweetest little flower, i know we鈥檙e more recently mutuals/friends, but i鈥檓 really glad i met you. talking to you always makes me feel better, whether its about what we鈥檙e doing, gifs, breaks, etc. you鈥檙e a voice of reason amidst the mess of this world, and i love being able to talk to you when i need a good pick me up. ily mika!!!
@atiteez聽馃専 sonia, i literally think you were the first atiny mutual i ever had. i will always, aLWAYS hold you in a special place in my heart. you鈥檙e such a precious soul, and you鈥檙e lovely inside and out. i still dunno why you call me a moodboard queen-- i鈥檓 not thaaat good at that kinda stuff-- but i love you so much nonetheless. thank you for being my friend and helping me step into atinyblr (even though now we鈥檙e dying off).
@wlwrensung聽馃専 miSS YUKKIIIII i hope you鈥檙e having fun on your trip!!! you鈥檙e one of my favorite people in the whole world, and i love love love talking to you. i mean?? someone like you??? wants to be friends with someone like me?? idk what you鈥檙e on that you wanna, but pls you鈥檙e the best ;;;; thank you for looking on someone like me and deciding聽鈥渢hat鈥檚 it that鈥檚 her i wanna be friends with her鈥 i dont deserve you but im all heart eyes bc i get to be friends with you!!
@shikyus聽馃専 im an idiot with a brain the size of a pea and the memory of a goldfish. i love you-- i really do!! you鈥檙e one of the only people i clicked with immediately, and that鈥檚 kinda rare for me. you鈥檙e a sweetheart, you鈥檙e one of the most lovely people i鈥檝e met, but you鈥檙e so chill and cool!! how do you do it?? honestly i鈥檓 really glad i met you, because like??? how often can someone say that they met someone and immediately clicked with them? i mean ok it happens often but !!! im still shocked!!! thank you for being my friend, for being super sweet, and kind, and caring-- a-and hopefully forgiving ;;;; im sorry im a dummy ;;;;;; im a big lovable dummy tho!!!!
and last but not least, miss kiki. i know she鈥檚 isnt on tumblr for now, but if she ever sees this... i have so much to say. thank you for being one of my best friends, for being one of the sweetest people in the world. i love you, i love everything about you, and i miss you. thank you for being my friend uwu
some other super awesome mutuals that i don鈥檛 have a ton to say about (either because we鈥檙e new mutuals or i havent talked to you too much yet) that i love with all my heart nonetheless: @meinyunho @fan-chngchng @ultvisual @seonghwalove @han-seungwoo聽@kthscenery @yooyonqha @woovoung @sanbotaged -- come talk to me more often!! i love to be bothered uwu
super special shoutout to my 3 starlight buddies who came over here and followed me despite originally knowing nothing about ateez and still supporting, loving, and talking to me: @hakjeon @babieken and @hansanghyuked. my longest standing mutuals, and even annie鈥檚 more than just a tumblr mutual-- she鈥檚 one of my closest friends. i love you guys ;;
now, i can鈥檛 leave a special message for every single one of my followers. hell, tumblr won鈥檛 even let me tag every single one of you (stupid tag limit), but know that i still love all of you. if i could (aka if i had time and energy), i鈥檇 go down the line and personally message each and every once of you to tell you all the important things.
you are all wonderful, you are all lovely, and i鈥檓 truly blessed to have all of you following me. remember to smile, to keep your chin up, because when the world gets going tough, i鈥檓 always there to support you! i love you all lots lots lots, whether we do or don鈥檛 talk. stay sweet, angels!
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lovingloudly-archived 2 years ago
if you had to recommend some songs by queen for someone who had never listened to them or only know like one song by them,, what songs would you recommend? -馃尡猸愶笍
ehdjrfghkdgdkjh AAAAAH this is v relevant (well queen always is to me but shh) cause i watched the rest of the rock montreal concert last night and cried during SONGS I HAD NO REASON TO CRY AT they just make emotional waah :,)
first off!! a couple of things to note about queen: they literally have a song that will??? never be surpassed in how popular and iconic it is, srsly. NONE OF US have any recollection of learning the lyrics yet when it comes on everyone in the nearby vicinity is like OH FUCK YEAH!!!!.聽another thing, queen is the聽only band聽where each member has聽individually written a number one single and i think that is pretty iconic so i鈥檓 gonna list these songs by band member because honestly KNOWING SOMETHING LIKE鈥. OH I DONT KNOW鈥 A NOW聽Astrophysicist writing a song called fat bottomed girls鈥.. yeah! and last thing, u may or may not know so many more queen songs than u think :))
* means my personal faves :D
freddie (cat dad, loved his husband jim hutton :D read mercury & me, u fools!!, literally can鈥檛 look at him in the 70s vs 80s and believe they鈥檙e the same, actually was v shy irl and finding that out made me feel ok abt being shy myself 馃ズ):*my fairy king聽liar (JOHN DEACON HAS THE SICKEST BASS SOLO IN THIS OK.)seven seas of rhyefunny how love is (CRIED THE FIRST TIME I HEARD THIS TBH)killer queenin the lap of the gods (AAaaAAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAH)death on two legslazing on a sunday afternoon*seaside rendezvous (feels like a summer boardwalk or carnival. ur gonna love it)love of my life*somebody to love (honestly thinking too hard about how many looking for/wanting love songs freddie wrote makes me SO emotional bc he really wanted somebody to love and then a year after he wrote it鈥檚 a hard life about the same kinda topic he met jim and they were together until the end :,) and freddie said in an interview that he had聽鈥渇ound that niche he was looking for his entire life鈥 and OHH MY GOD THAT MAKES ME CRYY)good old-fashioned lover boy*we are the champions (i can鈥檛 listen to this too often but when i do DEFINITELY OPT FOR A LIVE VERSION LIKE LIVE AID BECAUSE IT. HITS. MY HEART)bicycle race (freddie rlly just wanted to write a song about bicycles. and also don鈥檛 listen to anyone who tries to say this is about bisexuality oh my GODDD)*don鈥檛 stop me now (the happiest song on earth, according to science, IT CHECKS OUT!!! I FEEL SO MUCH SEROTONIN BC OF THIS. EVEN WHEN IT PLAYED THAT ACAPELLA BEGINNING AT THE END OF BO RHAP OHHH MYGOD)聽*play the gamecrazy little thing called love (inspired by elvis, FREDDIE COULD PLAY LIKE 3 CHORDS ON GUITAR AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT)staying power (watch me put all of hot space on here. ITS A FUNKY ALBUM!)body language (LISTEN. I KINDA LOVE IT)life is realcalling all girls*cool cat (FREDDIE SANG THE FULL THING IN FALSETTO. DO U SEE THIS)*soul brother (HE WROTE THIS ABOUT BRIAN/DEDICATED TO HIM U GUYSS :(((( AND THEY WERE SOUL BROTHERS!!!!! ohmyodtheywereosulbrothrsrs)*it鈥檚 a hard lifepain is so close to pleasure (also composed by deaky!)the miracle (it鈥檚 credited to all of them but it says the main composers were freddie and john!)*breakthru (THE JOY OF THIS SONG AND HOW MUCH FUN THEY WERE HAVING ON THE VIDEO :(((( IT GETS ME EMO)was it all worth itinnuendoi鈥檓 going slightly mad*the show must go on (makes me cry too much to listen to it unless its SAD FREDDIE HOURS but when you think about how close to the end this was yet how fukgignhn incredible his vocals still were it鈥檚 so heartbreaking and admirable like waah i just :( love freddie mercury sm)
brian may (TALL. big hair. what is his routine tbh???, ASTROPHYISICIST?? THEY鈥橰E ALL SO SMART. LOVES ANIMALS AND IS TRYING TO END BADGER CULLING. i鈥檇 offer him my life):keep yourself alive*doing alright (this was written before queen was properly formed and the band was still roger, brian and tim staffel, who also helped write it, in smile!)the night comes down (you can tell ESPECIALLY well in this song that the only time slots they could get at the studio to record was super late at night ksjfdgjkfdg)father to son*now i鈥檓 here (SOUNDS SO GOOD LIVE BECAUSE ITS FASTER AND JUST MORE ENERGETIC AND WAAH OH MY GOD CAN鈥橳 RECOMMEND LISTENING TO LIVE VERSIONS OF NOW I鈥橫 HERE ENOUGH)*鈥39 (um. the only song to exist actually! queen鈥檚 designated yeehaw song. jsut listen to it played live at earls court babie!! the story of the song is here and TBH LIKE. BRIAN WENT OFF AND CONTINUED TO GO OFF WITH HIS SONGS)*good companytie your mother downwhite man*we will rock youall dead, all dead*sleeping on the sidewalk (MY FAVE BRIAN VOCALS TBH)*it鈥檚 late*fat bottomed girls (:^])dragon attack (GONNA YEET THAT SOUND EHYEYEYAAH)dancerput out the fire (PEOPLE GET SHOT BY PEOPLE. PEOPLE WITH GUUUNS)las palabras de amor (depacito song.)*hammer to fall (I PREFER THIS SONG LIVE BUT STUDIO VERSION IS STILL. SO GOOD. THESE LYRICS???聽鈥楬ERE WE STAND, HERE WE FALL, HISTORY WONT CARE AT AALL鈥 UHHHH!!! HEHEHEHEY HAMMER TO FFaaAAALL?)*who wants to live forever (dont TALK TO Me about this SONG ill cry i literally never listen to it its been months it makes me SO sad and how the music swells and ohh my god I CANTT.)i want it allscandal*headlong (just how cute they all are in the music video ALONE鈥. hoop diddy diddy鈥 hoop diddy doo :(( wow)roger taylor (for some reason the fandom thirsts over him. its kinda just creepy. i just thinks he鈥檚 cute in a rat way and i love him AND ROGERINA see: i want to break free :)) also he said trans rights and as the wise jim hutton said freddie and roger were聽鈥榗learly soulmates鈥)i鈥檓 im love with my car (OH YOU THOUGHT BO RHAP WAS THE WEIRDEST SONG ON ANATO????)drowse*action this day (oh sidenote brian and roger hated hot space and NOBODY IN THE FANDOM NOR ROGER鈥橲 OWN CHILDREN AGREE WITH THEM. IT SLAPS HARDDDDD)*radio ga ga (nothing can communicate my joy whenever i hear this song but like with a lot of other songs NOTHING COMPARES TO THE LIVE VERSIONS OF IT AND SEEING ALL THE PEOPLE DO THE HAND CLAPS LIKE :((( their power..)*one vision (yeah its by roger but ever wondered why the last lyric is fried chicken? jim hutton saying to freddie after the band were messing around adlibbing 鈥榰 should leave that in鈥 AND THEN THEY DID. THANK YOU JIMOTHY HUTHICN)a kind of magic*these are the days of our lives (:()
john deacon (born august 19th 1951 :) and he rlly wants u to know it. his dream when asked was聽鈥渨et.鈥, he likes cheese on toast, HAS A LOT OF KIDS, wrote some of the most iconic basslines in the world and is just overall incredibly bouncy and groovy. whether u call him deacy or deaky is up to u and then ur fate will decided by the disco gods)misfire (the general fandom agrees this is abt premature ejaculation. the song鈥檚 only 1:50 long AND IT鈥橲 MORE OF A FANDOM INSIDE JOKE THAN ANYTHING BUT REALLY.. LISTEN TO THAT SONG AND TRY TO THINK IT HAS聽 MEANING THAT Isn鈥檛 That. again, JOHN HAS LIKE 6 KIDS)you鈥檙e my best friend (john was only like early 20s when we wrote this but it鈥檚 about his wife and :((((( wtf true love)*another one bites the dust (REALLY JUST LIKE. MADE THE BASSLINE FOR ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SONGS IN THE WORLD. AND HE DID IT MULTIPLE TIMES???)*back chat (another similarly inside joke kinda thing in the album, THE GENERAL CONSENSOUS IS THAT THIS IS ABOUT BRIAN AHAHSHDSFHKJDF BECAUSE THE HOT SPACE ERA WHAT KINDA TENSE SINCE THEY DIDNT AGREE ON THE ALBUM BUT WE鈥橪L NEVER KNOWWW)under pressure (ANOTHER BASSLINE FROM THE MAN THE MYTH THE DISCO LEGEND HIMSELF)*i want to break free (OH AND HE DID THIS SONG AS WELL UHH. EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU JOHN DEACON????)*friends will be friends (makes me so emotional :((( queen were a familyyyy :()
and bonus stuff:
LISTEN TO FREDDIE鈥橲 SOLO ALBUM聽鈥楳R. BAD GUY鈥 I AM BEGGING U,,,, U WON鈥橳 REGRET IT IT鈥橲 SO ??? JUST LIKE SO FULL OF FUCIGNGN,.. LOVE SONGS AND IT鈥橲 S DANCABLE AND ALSO MADE ME CRY AND GOD. it was literally just remastered and rereleased THIS MOnth this is such a good time to listen to it,, pls鈥 their solo stuff is so goodas for live performances definitely recommend live at the rainbow, rock montreal, live aid, hungarian rhapsody & wembley聽鈥86 HELL I HAVEN鈥橳 WATCHED MOST OF THESE MYSELF I鈥橫 TOO EMOTIONALLY SENSITIVE WHEN IT COMES TO QUEEN鈥.. BUT I HOPE U LIKED THIS LONGWINDED POST :)
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