#so yeah... all motivation and goals and any itty bit of hope i had for the future is completely gone

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#6 weeks #i managed to be happy and excited for 6 weeks #i had motivation and hopes for the future #all gone now... #i just want to crawl into a hole and die #it would be so much easier for me and for my family... #i wouldn't be a leach and everyone would be so much better without me... #like sure emotionally maybe my mom would be sad #but they would get used to it and survive... #this is a crap country and nothing you do is ever enough #so yeah... all motivation and goals and any itty bit of hope i had for the future is completely gone #i'm back at square one with no idea how to be an adult or even pretend to be one #and this isn't just about dissappointing myself anymore #this is about being a big ass burden to my family... #i can't even be ok about the therapy i started cause i don't think i can afford it anymore so yeah... i'm literally back to how i started #but with more guilt #and even less motivation cause i see now that nothing i can do helps #this is great! (: #had to write it in the tags cause there's some of you out there who can't see when something is personal #even when i explicitly ask not to reblog it... #anyways pls don't worry about me i just gotta be a depressing drama queen for a bit it'll pass #i'm not writing this for pitty i know people have it worse i'm just venting... #and now i'm off to sleep forever #or at least for a while #seeing that i can't do anything that would bring me any joy rn #the only thing that would bring me a tiny bit of joy is if i could get a job right this second... #so pray some of the illustration agencies say yes #ok i'm done #angel talks #personal