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obsessivevoidkitten · 1 year

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Committed to Hell

Yandere Male Demon x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Noncon, drugging, religious themes/imagery, reader dies but the story takes place in their afterlife, murder, blood, cock sucking, stalking, abduction, general yandere themes, dacryphilia) Word Count: 2.8k (Wow, okay, so this is a very special post, it is in celebration and thanks for getting me to 2.5k followers, and it is also for Halloween. I have been working on this ALL day. This post has a story with a new demon lord OC, AND, for the first time ever, and there is an audio component of the yandere OC speaking to YOU! I had to upload the audio in a separate post which can be found nowhere because I deleted it. I hope you all enjoy this food, your Halloween Feast, thank you all so much for following me. Please excuse any mistakes as this was not beta read.) (The music in the background of the audio is Horror Drone 1, music by audionautix.com. The voice of Ledlam, the demon, was provided by me, artwork by @solariahalsey in exchange for writing. Edit: Art was removed due to being NSFW and I didn’t want to get in trouble and audio was removed because it was cringe and only got 100 likes.)

One late night you had come home from work and exited your car to step into the chilly air. Two hooded figures leapt from the shadows, putting a rag of what could only be chloroform over your face before quickly taking your keys, stuffing you into your own car, and driving away. When you woke from your forcefully induced slumber you struggled to recollect the proceedings of the following night, all you knew was that you had been on your way home and now you were on some kind of stone slab in a large room. The walls were adorned with complex runes and sigils that had been painted with something red and suspicious, the room was dimly illuminated by torches along the walls, and an ominous chanting could be heard coming from an adjoining room. Your limbs were bound with rope and tied to four posts on the cold hard stone block you were trapped on. You thrashed and tried to yell, but your mouth was gagged and your muffled screams of terror only served to let your captors know you were awake. They stopped their chanting, their unholy prayer to a significant demonic deity, and suddenly a set of heavy wooden doors burst open and a few dozen cultists filed in silently and sat in pews laid out before the stone altar. One cultist, who you assumed was their leader as he was dressed in more intricate robes, stood before the altar and looked down upon you before turning to face his flock. “Fellow worshipers of Ledlam, Shepherd of the Shadows, we assemble here today in the house of worship to fulfill the will of our lord.” The cult leader turned back to you, now holding a ceremonial athame. Your eyes fixated on it and tears rolled down your face as you redoubled your yells and struggles. “We now commit this lucky chosen soul to the service of Ledlam.” And in one smooth motion he had cut your throat, your blood pooling into grooves carved into the altar, dark magic sizzled and popped as the cultist chanted and the arcane symbols were filled with your blood. Your life quickly drained away. Now you were in hell, through no fault of your own, in the home of Demon Lord Ledlam. Unbeknownst to you, Ledlam had been watching you for nearly a year. He had used his powers to peer into the mortal realm and find someone suitable to his tastes, that someone had been you. From the moment he first laid his eyes upon you he knew that, on this very Halloween, you would be sent to him. It was the only date that the veils between Earth, Heaven, and Hell all thinned a bit and those using the right magic rituals and using significant power could bend the rules a bit. And so it was that upon your death your soul had been funneled here by the ritual of his followers and by the gravity of his abilities. Otherwise you would have either walked the veil before reincarnation or you would have ascended into Heaven. Now you were confused and in an old style castle. Hell was a lot like feudal Earth had been, society was just often more violent. There were many different territories in Hell and Ledlam was the demon lord who ruled over the largest piece. You could see from the windows outside that you were no longer on Earth, the sky was an angry crimson red, crashes of thunder echoed periodically as flashes of black lightning danced across the tumultuous sky. Understandably you were shaking. Anyone would be scared in Hell, but your soul, your very essence, was not for such a place as this. Under normal circumstances only an impure soul would be here. The effect was that you felt much more uncomfortable here than others would, a creeping sense of unease that permeated every pore of your being. Ledlam, however, was beyond excited. He was putting the finishing touches on a feast in honor of you being here with him. He had all favorite foods, well, as close as he could get to your favorite foods with the type of flora and fauna that were available in Hell, he had his horns polished to make a good impression on you, and he even had the dining hall décor changed to match your favorite colors. You could hear the stomp of his footsteps approach the room you were in as his great hoofed feet hit the hard surface of the floor. Not knowing what it was you ducked behind a chair in a desperate bid to hide from whatever monster could possibly call this place home. What you saw turned your stomach, a beast straight out of a nightmare. A colossal demon, well over 7 feet tall, opened the door and stepped into the room. He had sharp shiny horns protruding from his head of black and red hair, his legs were covered in thick white fur and his feet were mighty hooves, his body was all muscle, and his nails sharp and black. An upside down cross was tattooed on the back of his hand and a spaded tail could be seen moving behind him. The demon was naked except for a bird skull necklace and a loincloth, which was mostly useless, as his large cock and balls swung quite visibly and pendulously below it. His four yellow eyes glowed in the darkness of the poorly lit room, scanning for any sign of your presence and finding you almost instantly. “(Y/N)! There you are, come on, your food will get cold!” He spoke with a deep booming voice, one that echoed unnaturally. Ledlam approached you and grabbed your arm, completely apathetic to your resistance and only silently enjoying your terror. He dragged you into the dining hall and set you down at a small table opposite of him with a large plate of food between you two, evidently for you both to share. You just looked down at your lap silently and awkwardly. Your demon captor just stared at you with unblinking eyes as he smirked at your fear. It was so delicious. You flinched at that wicked voice when he spoke again. “How rude of me, in my excitement I forgot to introduce myself, I am Ledlam, lord of this territory.” He reached across the table, put his hand under your chin, and lifted your head up, your eyes threatening to cry just from the pure fear you were experiencing from him and your situation as a whole. “You need to look at me when we are having a conversation, okay (Y/N)” At this you nodded obediently, too scared to speak, but your acknowledgement seemed to please him as you forced yourself to look at his frightening visage. Ledlam reveled in your fear, he couldn’t help it, he did not meet too many human souls up in his castle and the few times he ventured out the souls were long since hardened and immune to the simple sight of a demon scaring them, even a frightening one with his violent reputation. Your fear was just so cute and pure. He could not help but enjoy it. “Leaving your Earth body behind takes a lot of energy, you need to eat, my little human. You cannot really die in Hell, but you can still suffer.” As he finished speaking he held something to your lips that looked similar to a dish you had enjoyed while living. A little mini quiche. You managed to speak in a small trembling voice, “N-no that’s okay I’m n-” “I was NOT asking. Open your mouth!” Not daring to disobey him, you blushed as you opened your mouth and took a bite of mini quiche that he fed to you. You chewed slowly and took a nibble of food from the plate intermittently to keep Ledlam appeased. “Such a perfect little human, that is why I had you brought here, you will be a wonderful mate!” Ledlam could not wait to hold you and kiss you and make you writhe in pure pleasure, he had been alone for untold millennia. None of the demons born of hell nor the humans sentenced here were what he sought. He wanted you. A sweet, kind, pure being. Unspoiled by the ravages of Hell, who he would protect and keep safe. Though you could not speak after hearing what he wanted you here for, your surprise covered your face. “Don’t worry, I know you are scared, my angel, but I will keep you safe.” At these words you started sobbing. You wanted to be home, safe and curled up in your bed. Instead you had been killed and had your soul dragged into hell. It wasn’t fair. As much as Ledlam loved seeing your face streaked with tears he did not want you to be too upset. The demon lord left his seat and tried to pick you up, but for the first time since you wound up in Hell you found the will to run. You ducked under his arms and ran straight out of the dining hall, running frantically, luckily the way out was pretty direct and you wasted no time rushing out the door. It appeared there were no guards or anyone else around and you rushed towards the forest surrounding Ledlam’s castle. Just as the sky was like an angry wound flashing with dark lightning so too was the forest completely alien. Flora with purple, red, and black foliage, strange animal noises, and grass and soil that just somehow seemed… off… But you could hear Ledlam shouting for you so you proceeded into the cover of the trees anyway. It was not a fun experience for you, some of the bushes lashed at you leaving wounds on your legs, you were getting bitten by any number of horrible insects, and just to make matters absolutely as bad as possible it began to rain. Blood. It was raining blood. To say you were miserable would have been a grave understatement. At least the blood rains dispersed all the insects. You trudged through the forest, trying to put as much distance between Ledlam and yourself as you possibly could. It felt like you had been running for hours, your entire body ached, and this rain was making your skin itch. You found a little cave at the base of a cliff and decided to take shelter until the weather was a bit more favorable. But it was only minutes before you heard the booming voice of your pursuer nearby. “I KNOW you are close (Y/N), did you REALLY think that you could escape from me? This is my kingdom, my playground.” The demonic voice was slowly getting louder, you hid a bit deeper in the cave behind a boulder. “Are you in heeeere my little angel?” “I can smell your wonderful scent even through the blood rain darling~” Now you could hear his hooves against the ground, drawing ever nearer. “I love a good hunt every now and then too little dove, but my patience is wearing oh so very thin. Wouldn’t you rather get out of this scary cave and go back home to bounce on my cock?” Suddenly you saw four glowing eyes peering at you in the darkness. “Ah, there you are darling... mmm… I was going to wait until I got you nice and comfy back at home before mating, but seeing you covered in all this warm blood… mmm… it is really doing something to me. I really don’t think I have any choice other than to take you right here~” You did not know how he could see you so well, but you backed up until your back was against the rough wall of the cave. As he stepped towards you he uttered some kind of spell that illuminated the cave in a soft light for your benefit, you could now see that his uncut cock was fully erect bobbing excitedly with each step that he took. For what felt like the hundredth time today warm tears began streaming down your cheeks. Ledlam smirked, you just looked so irresistible like that. He continued his approach and stopped when his precum leaking dick was just in front of your lips. His intent was obvious. “Pl-please… I don’t want t-” “Suck. If you don’t get it nice and lubed up then what we do next will hurt quite a bit my little angel~” This wasn’t true, he did not and would not actually harm his sweetie, and his cock made enough natural lube so he did not need your saliva. But ingesting his precum would actually help to relax and arouse you and he relished the fear his threat got from you. Your lip quivered before you reluctantly opened your lips and he slid just a little more than the tip of his prick into your wet mouth. You stroked his dick as you sloppily sucked on it. His skin was extremely warm and his precum was strangely heady. Ledlam knew it would take a minute or so before his precum changed your demeanor any, so he had a bit of time to enjoy your clumsy nervous sucking. The demon ran his fingers through your blood drenched hair gently as you continued your task. Such rains were exceedingly rare, to have been drenched by one before completing his unholy union with you was surely a sign it was meant to be. You licked up and down the shaft, trying to get as much spit on his massive tool as possible, he caressed your face gingerly, careful not to hurt you with his sharp nails as he used his thumb to wipe away your gorgeous tears. The drug-like effect of his fluid was starting to become apparent. You slowly stopped crying and your muscles relaxed considerably, relieving all the tension that had been stressing your soul since your death. You found yourself more into pleasuring him as you gradually became more aroused. Nervous sucking and a desire to lube him up to ease future pain were replaced by eager licking and a need to swallow more of his precum. “Mmm, so good and obedient for me (Y/N), but I think we are ready to do something else little angel.” You looked up at him with a flushed face, desperation and confusion obvious on your face, all your previous fear completely melted away. Ledlam peeled off your wet clothing, easily slicing through it with his sharp nails. He leaned you over against a large stone and then kneeled behind you, his rough hands exploring your legs and thighs. Unable to stretch you with his fingers with his large nails he instead opted to use his tongue. It slid into you effortlessly. You moaned in desperate pleasure as he moaned at the taste of you. His serpent-like tongue thoroughly massaged and stretched your entrance, he licked, stretched, and kissed it until you started sobbing again, but this time in needy agony, yearning for more than just his tongue and mouth. “Shhh, I’ll take care of it darling.” Your demon lover turned you around. You draped your arms over his broad shoulders, dizzy with a need that you didn’t understand. Strong calloused hands gripped your waist. Ledlam pulled you into his lap and allowed you to nuzzle your head into his neck as he slowly lowered you and the tip of his cock teased your hole, smearing thick precum into it, before he finally sat you down on it. You moaned, literally drunk with pleasure. Ledlam took you to the base, moving you up and down on him, your stomach bulging from the enormity of his shaft each time you were forced back down, though there was no trace of pain or even discomfort. Seeing you utterly fucked out of your mind as he bounced you in his lap was even better than seeing your eyes wet and full of tears. You leaned against him, nuzzling lovingly against his chest, as he started plunging into you just a bit faster, his weighty nuts smacking your ass with each sinful thrust. Pleasure mounted in both of you until it could be held back no longer and you both came at the same moment, as he filled you up with potent demonic seed the ritual was complete and your soul was irreversibly bound to his. If there was any doubt as to who owned you it was certainly gone now. You were Ledlam’s angel from now and into the fathomless depths of eternity. You were too exhausted from the sex to stand, and too drunk off his cum to think, so Ledlam pressed a kiss to your lips before picking you up and carrying you all the way home.

#yandere teratophilia #yandere terato #yandere exo #yandere exophilia #yandere monster #yandere demon #male yandere x gn reader #gender neutral reader #demon x reader #yandere audio #yandere asmr #yandere speaking #my OCs #my oc ledlam #yandere x reader #Happy Halloween 2022 #thanks for following #Merry Hexmas

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chromegnomes · 6 months

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today is my birthday. in hobbit fashion, I am giving you all a gift that is also Selfish on some level: 50% off Wizard War! ($4)

Wizard War is a Tradingless Card Game that asks two questions:

What if you could play a TCG-like strategy card game using regular poker cards and other household items

What if the card game War didn’t suck, and was instead complex, layered, and wizard-y

The digital edition comes with a tablet-friendly PDF and a printable PDF, along with a printable sheet of Reference Cards so you can easily keep track of all the rules for the smoothest play experience.

It also comes with a digital version that you can upload to playingcards.io and challenge a buddy, using a custom deck of pixel art wizard cards designed by yours truly

Everything you need to play IRL is included in the digital version, but if you're craving a more hands-on Wizard Experience, you can get the Physical Edition from my ko-fi page, starting at $20, and own the deck and zine for yourself!

You really can't get more Wizards Per Dollar anywhere else. Also: the game is legit fun. You can trust me on this bc I spent hundreds of hours making and playtesting it and still don't hate it

That's all, carry on, I'm off to celebrate being one year closer to looking like the wizard on the cover

#wizard war #pixel art #indie dev #tabletop

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celerydays · 5 months

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What program do you use to make your fanart? Is it on just an average ipad or is there special ones just for art? Your work looks so good! I’m wanting to try digital art but unsure where to start :)

I use the Procreate app for all of my digital art! ✨

It should be available on any iPad 💗 I personally invested for my birthday this past year and I have the 12.9" M2 iPad Pro, but I'll even occasionally use my fiancé's iPad Mini and the Procreate app on there in a pinch since it's so small and portable~

The only real difference is that performance might suffer a bit, the larger an art piece is or how many layers your work has, depending on the iPad. But if you're just starting out, I probably wouldn't find that to be much of an issue!

(More rambling about digital art origins under cut ✨)

There's definitely a learning curve, especially if you're more used to drawing traditionally! It can help to still sketch traditionally (if that's what you're used to) and then upload a photo of your drawing to your tablet to work over digitally (this is personally how I started out and I used to just make little digital doodles by tracing and coloring over my traditional sketches.)

A small doodle from my sketchbook that I traced and colored digitally, from around 2011-2012, I think? Uh, happy Doctor Who day today!

My very first digital art set up was actually a tiny Wacom Bamboo tablet where the drawing space probably wasn't even bigger than my hand, and a super old bootleg version of Photoshop CS2 which was already a version that was 7 years too old for the time (CS5/CS6 was the most updated version by the time I had started on digital art).

Everyone else in my class had the bigger/fancier/professional-grade Wacom Intuos and I remember my professor taking one look at my baby tablet and just going like "how tf are you drawing on that" lmao.

But still! Experimenting and doing little exercises can get you a long way – I would say to approach it with similar exercises you would do as if you were learning to draw traditionally for the first time.

Shade in circles/nail down basic lighting. Gesture drawings. Random scribbles. Just things that help you get used to the feel of digital art!

Test out different textures you can achieve with one brush, then expand it to see how other different types of brushes can behave and add to the experience.

For proof that even just one brush and not the best/most updated tools can work: these are two of my first more "serious" digital art projects I did in college (with my tiny tablet and mega outdated version of Photoshop) and 99% of the rendering was just done with the "soft airbrush" brush.

But even then, we were taught to create our base sketches traditionally and upload them to the program to work over.

Then one day I decided I wanted to just be able to also do all my sketches digitally and just worked on getting used to sketching straight on my digital program. It was then that besides the all-powerful undo-redo buttons, I started to really make use of the transform/canvas flip/liquify features which I don't think I can live without now lol. (Caveat: I'm now a little too dependent on those features so I keep a traditional sketchbook to do silly doodles in occasionally to exercise my hand because sketching traditionally without the buffer of those digital tools is pretty difficult for me now lol.)

That was a little long-winded, I'm so sorry hahaha. I hope something in this rambling could be taken as somewhat helpful for starting out on digital art!! 💗

#ask #anon #celdraws

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7grandmel · 3 months

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Todays rip: 12/01/2024

9来4s

Season 2

Featured on: THE SILVAGUNNER CHRISTMAS COMEBACK CRISIS ORIGINAL SOUNDTRAXX: vol. 1

Ripped by dante

youtube

Uh, so, hi, everyone. I'm going to apologize ahead of time if this post reads a bit more shakily, a bit less structured than what it maybe usually does. I always have a timeline of rips to cover over the week laid out ahead of time, and was really not expecting to cover 9来4s as part of it - I thought, naively, that today would just be a day like any other, one more on the pile. I wake up, get dressed, check the SiIvaGunner YouTube feed - and almost collapse onto the floor in shock.

The Christmas Comeback Crisis is back. Ten hours from the point of writing this sentence, the eleventh episode of the main SiIvaGunner storyline will premiere on YouTube.

I don't think I've ever done an effective job of conveying to people just how much the Christmas Comeback Crisis means to me. Sure, rips that I love are one thing, with those you can understand what I'm talking about with just a listen yourself. But the Christmas Comeback Crisis series is so difficult to truly appreciate without the knowledge, the memories and attachment to the channel from having been with it the whole time. To me, it marked the point where all of SiivaGunner's potential as a narrative, all of the loose threads of lore and jokes, all of those feelings of joy and sadness and comradery that flew like sparks throughout Season 1s 9-month run, were distilled into a streamlined narrative. It felt as if a bunch of stray thoughts were finally put to paper, a world envisioned by all of SiIva's viewers finally envisioned with an engrossing conflict and beautiful art. And it felt to me like the team themselves knew just how golden the idea they'd landed on was, as the scope of the storyline quickly expanded from just Christmas of 2016 to eventually enveloping the entirety of Season 2's run.

The final core episode of the Christmas Comeback Crisis released at the tail end of Season 2, on Christmas Day. That is to say, December 25th, 2017. It is currently January 12th 2024 - six years, two weeks, and four days have passed, as the main story of the channel has remained in limbo. When I watched that episode, live on the date of upload, I was still a teenager. I've followed the channel since, still immensely invested, still closely following and paying attention to the lore introduced since - the Side Stories and Haltmann's Archives of Season 3 and Season 4: Episode 1, the King for Another Day Tournament and its fallout across both episodes of Season 4, the many misadventures of Wood Man across Season 5, having seemingly left the Christmas Comeback Crisis canon altogether to explore different worlds where he could have fun with little consequence - only for it all to come crashing down on him in Season 6. After all of that time, all of that buildup, after Season 7 has already been one of the channel's all-around, best-ever years - the cherry on top has landed. Episode 11.

Beyond the lore, the world, the artwork, the storyline, the characters, and the community that's supported it all, what has held the Christmas Comeback Crisis together for me and many others has been the sheer passion present in all those aspects - including, of course, its outstanding soundtrack. I've talked about it before with voiceless, with 時の回廊＜ver. CCC＞, with vlEP, and now here - but dante is, genuinely, an *exceptionally* talented musician, possibly my favorite amidst the entire SiIvaGunner team, and he has been completely outdoing himself on the Christmas Comeback Crisis' soundtrack since the day it first began - his music, remixes, arrangement, and overall sound direction has breathed a kind of energy and life into the story that's immersed me in ways I could never have expected.

9来4s plays during Episode 8 of the Christmas Comeback Crisis, An Acrimonious Assault - which sort of marked a point of no return for the series. After the 6th episode, Advent of Hell, just barely managed to release during Christmas of 2016, and the 7th episode, Loves the Ladies, released four entire months later due to expressed production issues, it felt like the team had officially realized just how big the project was getting. Yet, despite the woes that the 7th episode had presented, the team pushed on - and the series continued until the end of the year. That energy, that hype and love for the channel, is echoed all throughout 9来4s, and it's a feeling I haven't truly felt since that Season that the series once ended during.

At least, that's what I once said. Because now, *we are so fucking back.*

#todays siivagunner #season 2 #siivagunner #siiva #dante #soundcirclet #christmas comeback crisis #siivagunner ccc #siivagunner lore #lore #hiroyuki sawano #guilty crown #Youtube #Bandcamp

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moonsunlovers · 7 months

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Jimin, the art collector? 🧐

Maybe for their future home

Hi!! Welcome to my new rant. Today this two cuties came!!! Namjoon uploaded a story showing that Jimin and him have spend some time today in the Frieze Seoul 2023 (what a coincidence that Jimin is more active on instagram and letting us know what is he doing now that Jungkook is on the US btw 👀).

And with it something that I haven’t seen before popped up in my time line. Jimin, an art collector??? Apparently it’s true, somebody from a podcast called Maebul Show confirmed that Jimin visits frequently art exhibitions and often buys art pieces.

Truly shocking right?? Not because Jimin is not the type of person who would buy art, don’t get me wrong. He is, he has an amazing taste and he is into collecting things, as we have seen with his watches. But it isn’t something expected if we take as reference the things we know about his apartment. In the live that he made for Jungkook’s birthday he let us see little glimpses of his home and honestly… is pretty simple and empty, almost like a model house. Of course we haven’t seen it all and he could have a lot of stuff in his room and the saloon, but even himself said it:

Where are all the stuff that he has been collecting this whole time?? His house should look something like RM’s home with paintings in the walls and works of art displayed around the house and it seems like this is not the case. It looks like he haven’t made the effort to decorate the house in a personal way or tried to make it feel more like home (pretty much like Jungkook in his current appartment). Even his parents said so.

Last year in the Festa dinner when everyone was describing their houses and commenting on the decoration styles he was awfully quiet. They didn’t comment anything about his home and no one said that he also collected art when it was commented that Namjoon’s house was like a museum. He was actually quite nervous picking at his nails and carefully observing the conversation. My favorite moment? When they started to tease Jungkook for having a lot of mattress around his house and they shared a knowing look. The way Jimin arched his eyebrow to Jungkook in that moment said it all.

Why would Jimin suddenly started to share more about his home when he has been super private the last two years to the point that he cropped photos of his tv or his pot when he uploaded on Weverse to avoid showing the countertop of his kitchen or any centimeter of his home??? Why this change? Why now? Strange.

Is he going to move out soon and he’s simply not caring that much anymore about his current house? Could be the answer.

We know for sure that somebody is moving out next year, someone whose new five-story house is to be completed early this new year (Jungkook’s current home contract ends around April and his new house is predicted to be finished around the firsts months of the year).

Is it possible that certain couple is going to live together again after the military service? Imagine them decorating their new home together again. *dreamy sight*

See you next time!

#jikook #kookmin #mingukkie

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marabarl-and-marlbara · 7 months

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hi, there ! i stopped by your blog and i just wanted to say that i really appreciate how intricate and dynamic your artstyle is. it's something i find myself deriving inspiration from especially seeing as i haven't made any art pieces in almost a year. also weird question but i noticed your latest upload(s) have baking recipes attached to them- do you like to bake? sorry if that sounds ridiculous, but i've been getting back into baking/cooking after being bedridden and i wanted to know what sort of things you liked to make! i hope you have a nice day and i hope i didn't sound awkward/weird

hey there anonymous, good morning fellow saint of the living god (my pastor always says this @ church on saturdays and it always makes me smile a little);

first: thank you! i:m a little embarrassed someone would take inspiration from me (honored, though: i:ll take compliments where i can get them) cause admittedly it feels like i can barely make more than sketches lately; you:d leave me to my whims and i:d just draw hands on the weekly sermon programming and nothing-else; so: do better than me, anonymous! strive to become better than a lazy bag of bones like me -- because you absolutely can with a little elbow grease and love :-))

second: i do, sort-of; i:ve been "struggling" with a "eating disorder" (the parentheses aren:t really to down-play, but it:s may-be more tied into religion and hygiene, and i don:t want to write a big paragraph about the "why"), and i found a measure of succor from learning to prepare extravagant meals for myself (mostly just breakfast and lunch) that i /really/ enjoy eating, and look forward to eating every-day (to a sad degree, these two meals are basically all i look forward to on a day-to-day, but i love them); over time the meal-prep evolved into getting a little mug i could bake with, which evolved into me wanting to learn to make simple baked-goods that i could include with my breakfast (note: my breakfast meals are /always/ a type of yogurt+cereal, all ingredients counted out in 4s; lunch is /always/ a wrap, again with all ingredients counted out in 4s) -- so i started with baking crusts for my yogurts, then baking mixed-in stuff, then baking french-toasts and bread-puddings; and ultimately i want to make cinnamon rolls, but i always mess it up (because i always get afraid of including the actual ingredient lists due to nutrition fears and serving-size fears, so i:ll sub things out nonsensically and reduce portions nonsensically) (but bright-side of messing up cinnamon-rolls is that i can use the ruined awful bread-pastries to make great bread puddings). basically though: teaching myself to cook + trying to excite myself to eat like a normal person is all that:s been keeping me going, lately -- and admittedly i really enjoy both. *note, as well: i think both of those recipes are from crazy ed-esque baking recipes that tiktok shows me.

veganism and numbers and leviticus and communication have all been pretty disastrous for my relationship with food.

one day i:ll make the cinnamon rolls right.

anyways, have a nice day today, anonymous; take care and pour yourself into your passions cause they:ll melt away other-wise & it:s only your hands keeping them in place.

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kingofhyrule46 · 1 year

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JANUARY 2023 UPDATE

Hey everyone! First things first, I want to say thanks to everyone who has supported us through this channel, on grommr, and otherwise through the past couple of years. I've been able to "meet" some wonderful people as well as got make some really fun content for everybody.

Both good and bad news moving forward. Things may begin to slow down a little bit here. The two of us are both now in new and exciting career paths (as well as a few other big life changes that have happened over the past few months) that require a lot more time and travel on our parts so making content has become harder and harder for us to do. So moving forward, Im going to switch things up a little bit.

Starting in Feb, this page is going to continue to make content, but only of kingofhyrule46. There will probably be only 2 tiers (still working on how it will work exactly), but there will be one tier for "archive access" meaning all the posts up until now (January 2023), and one tier for access to all the content, and all content moving forward. There will be at least half an hour to an hour's worth of content made every month, between videos, photos, drawing (oo exciting haha), etc.

Again I want to thank you all literally from the bottom of our hearts as we've found a lot of joy in creating this space for everyone, but sometimes chapters come to a close so something new can take it's place that's better for everyone!

I will still be uploading ~6-7 videos this month, I realize it's getting late but bear with me! haha (January 2023) so keep on the look out!

Much love:) to everyone

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esprei · 1 year

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have recently learned there's a bit more hate around trainwreckshipping than i was aware of so i guess i just wanted to talk about it a bit and give my two cents on the ship, how i see it and i guess my perspective on things. i've kind of always wanted to talk about it, but i just haven't been brave enough until now haha (sorry, i am not super eloquent when it comes to writing things like this so my apologies) ((also throwing it under a cut because it may get long and might also include some slightly sad-ish things so i don't want to just throw that in everyone's face you know))

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i think i'll just preface things by saying i've always totally understood why trainwreckshipping has gotten so much flack since its inception. or hate, because maybe flack just isn't strong enough of a word. but i do understand. there were mischaracterizations of emmet by portraying him as violent to volo because it was assumed that volo was directly responsible for ingo's disappearance. i was guilty of it. suuuuuper guilty. and i can understand why that put the ship in such a position for many people. toxic, unhealthy, etc. but... i think what i'm a bit confused on i guess is the fact that it's still viewed so much this way to this day. viewed as one of the worst ships because of how toxic it is. how unhealthy it is. all because it started that way in fanon only. but you know, from a canon standpoint, it has nothing. nothing at all. so really, this ship could be anything because it's based in fanon only. no canon interactions of emmet and volo exist yet. there is no official basis on how these characters would interact with each other. and yes, while there were misunderstandings of both characters early on, that certainly doesn't mean it's still that way today. that doesn't mean that people haven't studied and looked at these two characters a little closer to understand them better and to try and make them more realistic to their canon portrayals. to make more accurate depictions of these characters and how that fits in to a healthier perspective with them. i dunno. it just kinda baffles me that with the variety of trainwreckshipping content out there now, some still call it toxic and unhealthy as if we're perpetually stuck in that time period of when it was. like it's not allowed to be anything but that ever just because it started that way. and what makes me the saddest about it all is now seeing so many friends and people in the community of the ship start to get disheartened and discouraged from enjoying something they really actually enjoy because there's still such a bad stigma to the ship. personally for a long time i've just ignored that stigma because i try not to let that stuff drag me down. but i will admit that yes, it has made me more reluctant to post any art i do of it. i've definitely had my periods where i've questioned uploading my emmet/volo art, usually as wholesome as it is, because it does have such a dark cloud around it fandom wise. it's why i made my side blog, in fact. because i just didn't feel very comfortable uploading mostly emmet/volo art here to my main because so many people dislike it or outright hate it.

and in regards to the ship itself, i think i've always thought of it in a slightly different way than most. not so much enemies to lovers but rather through the lens of how volo might could change, be redeemed, see the how his actions in the past inadvertently affected others (and by that I mean his involvement in opening the rift... like yes, that could be what caused ingo to be sent to hisui, but we don't know that for sure... and even if that was the case, volo didn't do it specifically to target ingo. volo was only ever interested in trying to get to arceus and build a better world in his vision).

or how volo could look at emmet after getting to know him and potentially see the beauty and value of the current world through him. you know, seeing someone like emmet and admiring that he can still find a reason to smile and be kind despite all of the pain and suffering he must have gone through since ingo's disappearance. volo starting to see a different perspective than he did before (aka wanting to build a new world because the current one was too full of pain and suffering) because of emmet. i dunno. that's just me personally. because since actually looking more at volo's character and his dialogue in game i've been real interested in redemption paths for him. exploring those possibilities. i just enjoy exploring said possibilities mostly through the dynamic i have in my head for him and emmet because it's fun. it interests me. i see cool potential in it. i enjoy it a lot. and while i don't think i ever portray volo super accurately, or even emmet for that matter, i still think i've come a long way since first finishing pla and ever looking at emmet/volo interactions. but regardless of all of that, that's the beauty of a ship of this nature. a ship that has absolutely no basis in canon. because it really can be anything you want it to be. it can be enemies to lovers, it can be more wholesome, it can be whatever. it's not locked into a specific dynamic because the characters have never officially met each other, let alone had a conversation. and even if that were the case... AUs are still a thing. :D

anyway that's pretty much all i had. just wanted to talk about it a bit because i've seen a recent uptick in people mentioning all of the hate and dislike for the ship etc and i dunno. i enjoy the ship a lot. it's just sad to see that there's still so much hate around it even though a lot of the content now is not like how it originally started. not from what i've seen, at least.

and while i don't expect anyone who hates it to ever warm up to it, i just wish it could be understood that the more toxic, unhealthy dynamic is not the basis of anymore. there are healthier portrayals of it now.

#trainwreckshipping #this did end up pretty long sorry sdklfj #and probably not the most eloquent way to end it off but it's ok #it's a little cathartic to talk about this i suppose #also pleaaaase forgive any mistakes i'm a bit tired and am not usually a writer at least not to this length hhh

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jvngkook97 · 2 years

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Art of the Soul

pairing; artist!jungkook x model!reader ft. DJ!yoongi

genre; angst, fluff, smut, f2l, artist au

warnings; y’all the angst is real in this one, slow burn(?), sexual tension, non-explicit implied smut, cursing, jealousy, infidelity, koo is extremely introvert except with reader, and reader is very outgoing and social which will cause some petty arguments, reader is also a major flirt in this one but she means well…mostly

rating; 18+

w/c; 11,758

a/n; this concept came to me from an artist koo compilation on YouTube that had me daydreaming on some “what if’s”. more specifically, ‘what if Jungkook used your body as a canvas’ and it was really soft and cute and then I realized I needed this in my life and maybe you do too so here you go! ps - the gif will make more sense at the end. I’m so sorry. 🫠 like + reblog if you enjoyed. feedback is always appreciated! tysm <3

Read Part Two {Here}

He walked towards you with the backdrop of flashing lights from the countless amounts of paparazzi that flanked him. If it wasn’t for the security that also adorned his sides at a healthy distance, they would’ve swarmed him by now. His name was being yelled like some kind of mantra within the enclosed space, all vying to get even a second of his attention in order to get their ‘money shot’.

He would bow politely, and shoot heart signs with his hand, but unfortunately for them, that’s all he would be willing to give today. His attire alone shielding his face, all that was showing was his wide, doe, eyes. The black face mask covered his bunny toothed grin, and the matching black baseball cap successfully hid his newfound haircut he recently debuted during one of his art shows. His full body, black ensemble from his head, down to his toes, gracefully glided over to you with open arms. The action making the mantra of Jungkook’s name, now switch to yours upon seeing your figure wrapped up in his.

“Y/N! Y/N! LOOK OVER HERE!”

Paparazzi, reporters, and fans alike all screamed your ‘ship’ name in fervor. Hearing the cheesy name made you snort in Jungkook’s ear. His own chest rumbled beneath you both at your rather unladylike snort, and the equally as cringey name that also graced his ears. Pulling down your own mask, you decided to give the people what they wanted and leaned up to kiss Jungkook on his still face mask covered lips, the only reason you chose that spot. If it was uncovered, you would’ve opted for his cheek instead, knowing to actually kiss him on the lips would be crossing the line, but cloth covered was just playful and cheeky.

They ate it up just like you thought they would. A few paparazzi instantly departing in order to get the opportunity to upload the shot first for the world to see and to get the most money. Jungkook gave you the stink eye, but just shook his head in mock surrender, used to your spontaneous acts of affection over the years of knowing you. Pulling away from his hold, his large hand slid down your arm to engulf your small one in his to lead you safely through the airport to the unmarked, tinted, black SUV, that would serve as your saving grace from the barrage of people.

Once inside, you both waved for a few moments more as security closed the door behind you. The one action alone making the enclosed space get enveloped in a blanket of silence. The only sound to be heard was the soft singing that came from the radio in the front, and the faded, muffled, yells from the crowd surrounding your car as you departed. Taking off your masks simultaneously, you faced Jungkook as best you could within the confines of your seatbelt with a shit eating grin.

“You’re so annoying, y/n.” His rolled his eyes at you playfully, earning a middle finger from both of your newly manicured hands in retaliation.

“You know you love me, kookie.” You winked at him with a sideways ‘v’ being held up over your eye, before asking him the dreaded question.

“How did it go in London? Were you able to see her?” You asked the question with an underlying tone of sincerity and minor disgust. Your whole body inwardly cringing in on itself at the indirect mention of her, Jungkook’s on and off again girlfriend of nearly a whole year, Isla.

Someone who you regretted ever introducing him to unintentionally at one of the London fashion shows you participated in alongside her, him coming to wish you well before the show started with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. She happened to be in line with walking after you on the runway, so she was waiting patiently behind you when he walked up to you. His eyes flickering behind you in her direction with his cheeks painted a pink hue that wasn’t there a second ago, is all the hint you needed to step aside and introduce the pair to their annoying, toxic, soon to be tragic, love story. And your fated, unreciprocated, one-sided, utterly friend zoned relationship with the male.

It was sickening the amount of times he would call you at four in the morning to go on yet another anger induced rant over why either she or him broke it off for the millionth time that month. You would then be forced to wait patiently for him to finish before monotonously telling him the same phrase you always did as a half assed attempt of consoling him over the matter, ‘you’ll get through this, you always do’, even though you already knew that by the time you woke up alone in your California king sized bed the next morning you would find a short text from Jungkook saying ‘we’re back together’. And the toxic cycle would continue, each time digging the metaphorical knife into your already bloody and scarred heart. The same heart that would woefully hope that the reason for their next break up would be because he came to the sudden epiphany of being in love with you, not her.

It never happened. And it never will happen.

You came to your own conclusion five break ups ago when he FaceTimed you the next day and showed you an engagement ring he had custom made for her. A fucking ring. He mistook the tears in your eyes as ones of happiness for them, when in actuality, you were inwardly letting go of all your feelings you held pent up inside over him. It was in that heartbreaking moment you realized you were done. And you moved on, or tried too.

Jungkook manspreaded all over his side of the car, leaning back into the car seat from exhaustion and jet lag. He tilted the bill of his cap down over his face before giving you a muffled reply.

“We broke up, then had make up sex. So, I guess we’re still together?” His muffled voice sounded more confused with his own words than confident. Flicking his cap back up yourself with your finger, you gave him a look. He let out a loud sigh, not wanting to hear your snide remarks about his relationship. He was well aware it wasn’t a good one. Instead, he tried changing the subject of relationships over to your recently changed status he only found out through the inflight news on the flight back.

“It’s always about Isla and I, but what about you, y/n?” He waggled his eyebrows at you before continuing, “How is your love life, huh? You’re with….what’s his name?” He feigned being in thought, then snapped his fingers in mock enlightenment. “Ah, yes! Min Yoongi.”

*******

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was difficult for you to let down your walls enough to even humor the opposite sex with flirtatious comments and banter. Let alone to accept a date and the later offer of a ‘good time’ at their place of stay, cause you never wanted them to know where you lived. Having dealt with a stalker before, you didn’t want to go through the same traumatizing situation again.

It wasn’t until you crossed paths with Min Yoongi did your walls completely break down. You met him from an after party. He was the DJ for the evening, and having an affinity and admiration for all things music, you always made sure to greet the DJ’s and give a heartfelt thank you for their complex, amazing, work. Normally, all conversations would end there, but there was a certain aura that Yoongi exuded. It made you want to learn more.

He apparently felt the same pull as you did, and extended an invitation for you to tour his studio. You agreed, and after he wrapped up his show, you both left separately to his studio in order to avoid any unwanted attention. Upon your arrival, you found it was a modest, yet equally as intimate studio that connected to his modern style home.

What really sealed the deal for you was the overwhelming patience and kindness that he had for you. It didn’t matter if you were talking a mile a minute, where your focus would easily switch from one topic to another due to your excitement, he still made sure to be the ever perfect gentleman. And not once did he lay a hand on you, or try to attempt anything with you further than conversation. No sly suggestions, no racy comments, and no ulterior motives laced his words or actions the entire time. You didn’t think men like him still even existed in this world, but he proved you wrong.

After that fateful encounter, you made sure to exchange numbers. At first, it was just simple texts asking how the day was going, or if either of you had an upcoming project you were excited about and wanted to share. It was all strictly, friendly. The flirting didn’t start until after the first candid photos of you two taking a night stroll through a park after dinner, ignited the rather cheeky side of you to come out. You texted him the day after once you saw the story had dropped online, having been tagged in it various times on multiple social media accounts.

Good thing they didn’t capture us at a weird angle when I was leaning up to fix your scarf. They probably would’ve edited it to look like we were kissing. LOL. 🤪

Agust D 💦: Would that have been so bad though? If they did catch us kissing?

Too busy fixing your morning coffee for the day, you didn’t get a chance to look at his text until after you were comfortably seated on your loveseat sofa in your living room. You just took a swig of your liquid crack, when you effectively spit it right back out with wide eyes when you did finally read his reply. Holy shit. Was he being serious right now? Typing back a cautious reply, you tried to keep a playful tone, incase he was joking and just didn’t express it through text cause that’s how he was, not being one to use emojis all that often like you.

I mean, it wouldn’t necessarily be bad. I could only imagine the amount of fans that would bombard my socials with death threats, but I would be able to handle them if it meant being with you. Hahahaha. 🤭

Having sent out the first part, you immediately went to type a ‘jk’, but before you could, he replied back. Looking at his reply, you had to reread it multiple times, not truly believing what he just said. The school girl squeal coming out of your mouth as if you were suddenly back in grade school and your crush just admitted they liked you.

Agust D 💦: In fear that I may have misinterpreted previous gestures as you just being friendly, please just ignore this text all together and send me that skull emoji because I will effectively be dead from embarrassment. Otherwise, on the slim chance that you may just like me as much as I like you, I propose we try this whole kissing, hand holding, exclusive, societal term of dating and become boyfriend/girlfriend.

I both just spat out my coffee and squealed like a fucking school girl, so safe to say, that yes, I second your proposal and even go so far as to raise your brilliant suggestion with another hell-motherfucking-yes, Min Yoongi. I would love to be your girlfriend. If only for societal appeasement. Lol jk. But no, seriously, I’m so happy rn. Please tell me I’ll be able to kiss your cute face soon. 🥹

Agust D 💦 : And if you could hear my extreme exhale of relief, you wouldn’t feel as bad. It’s an honor to have you as a girlfriend, y/n. And I’ll be back in town tomorrow evening. Would you like to have dinner? I can cook your favorite meal at my place if you don’t feel like going out in public.

Another reason you fell so hard for the man? On top of being considerate of your feelings? Min Yoongi was an amazing chef. There is nothing that he could cook for you that won’t have you salivating in anticipation of taking the first bite. Or prevent the shameless moans that would emit from your mouth upon savoring the rich flavor it never ceased to have.

He was basically the whole fucking package.

And he was yours. How? You’ll never know.

It wasn’t until you got an incoming call from Jungkook to remind you to pick him up at the airport tomorrow, did you realize there may be a slight change in plans with your now boyfriend. You only hoped that he wouldn’t mind the sudden intrusion, him already well aware how close you and Jungkook are, but he knows you’re just friends and doesn’t feel threatened by him. Another breath of fresh air that had you swooning over Yoongi even more, cause just like you thought, he didn’t mind the extra company. He even went so far as to ask you what Jungkook’s favorite meal was, so he could make it for him.

You wanted to cry from how sweet and thoughtful and selfless he was. You truly didn’t deserve him. But you’ll try your damndest to be worthy of his affection.

*******

Which led you to where you are now, Jungkook being none the wiser.

You chuckled nervously at him, one that had his brows raising into his hairline from the sudden change in your usually confident personality. Yet he waited for you to spit out whatever it was that you were holding in, him crossing his arms over his chest, still in his lax position.

“Yeah, about that…,” you trailed off with a sheepish smile before word vomiting the rest, “We’re actually headed over to Yoongi’s place now to have dinner and it’s going to be our first time together being boyfriend and girlfriend so you’ll be there to witness it, yay!” You threw your hands up in a ‘surprise’ gesture, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

He gave you a blank stare as if still processing the words that just flew out of your mouth at the speed of light, his still sleepy and jet lagged brain fighting to keep up with the new time zone.

“Excuse me, what?” He stated, voice emotionless.

It had you questioning if you shouldn’t just cancel the dinner plans with Yoongi and avoid a potentially awkward situation. But then you thought back to the many times you had to play the third wheel in Jungkook and Isla’s dates when they first started talking, and all the silent cringing and gagging you did while watching them flirt with each other shamelessly in public as if you weren’t even there.

Sitting up straighter, you felt more confident in your decision.

“Yoongi invited me over to dinner tonight, and it’ll be our first time being together as more than just friends, since we’re dating now. You’re welcome to come if you’d like, or I can have my driver drop you off at home. The choice is yours.” You reiterated your last statement, but at a normal pace.

He grunted to himself as his eyes closed, head tilting back against the headrest. For a minute, you didn’t even expect him to reply back to you, or if he did, just to say no and laugh at you like you’re crazy for even suggesting such a thing. However, to your surprise, he said quite the opposite.

“Sure.” He shrugged his shoulders as best he could in the position he was in. Not wanting to reopen his eyes, he tilted the bill of the baseball cap back over his eyes and gave you the ‘ok’ signal with one hand he set free from his previous crossed arms. Then, you could only assume, he fell asleep. Cause he just stopped talking with you after that.

Knowing it was going to be a long ride, you texted Yoongi of Jungkook’s surefire attendance to notify him ahead of time incase he needed to prep anything beforehand. Ironically, he gave you the same ‘ok’ symbol, but this time through text.

Making yourself comfortable, you wrapped your jacket tighter around you and leaned your own head back to get some rest for tonight. You were going to need it.

*******

You expected Yoongi to greet you at the door like he normally does, yet this time, it was his housekeeper, Mrs. Yang, that greeted you and a half asleep Jungkook.

“Mrs. Yang! What a surprise. Is Yoongi okay?” You questioned her, worried.

Opening the door wider she gestured you both inside to get out of the cold of autumn. Walking inside, you both switched your shoes out for house slippers and hung your coats up on the rack that was conveniently next to the door. Once the door was shut behind you both, did Mrs. Yang reply.

“Yoongi is fine, dear. He’s just finishing up in the kitchen. He said you’re more than welcome to join him in there, or I can take you to where you’ll be dining this evening. Which would you prefer?” She explained and asked you politely, hands clasped in front of her like usual.

“In the kitchen–,” you said.

“In the dining–,” Jungkook echoed at the same time.

Both of you stared at each other, having a silent, yet intense conversation with your eyes. You wanted to see Yoongi as soon as possible, and you loved watching him work in the kitchen, it was one of your favorite things to do. But of course, Jungkook being ever the introvert, would want to just immediately hide away and avoid meeting Yoongi as long as possible. You loved Jungkook, but sometimes his personality could prevent you from doing stuff that you wanted to do. Like now.

Letting out a quiet sigh of defeat, you looked at Jungkook, giving him a mini glare. His eyes crinkled as he gave you a small smirk, knowing that he won the silent battle. You turned your attention back to Mrs. Yang, who was still patiently waiting for your definite answer.

“We can wait for Yoongi inside the dining room, if that’s okay, Mrs. Yang.” You gave her a small smile, one she returned in full as she bowed at you both before gesturing you guys to follow her down the hall towards the dining room.

While she was walking ahead with her back towards you both, you took the opportunity to slap your hand rather harshly against Jungkook’s chest, making him wince and mouth a ‘what the fuck’ at you, now rubbing the sore spot with his hand. All you did was point your finger at him with a look that could kill. He rolled his eyes at you before reaching out to pinch your lovehandle in retaliation. His action making you jump a little, gaining the attention of Mrs. Yang enough for her to glance back at you both while still leading you. Both of you straightened up immediately upon her stare and gave fake smiles.

Arriving at the dining room, it was already set up with an expensive looking dish set for three people, various appetizers already littered the table. You can even see some of your favorites, which had you smiling lovingly at the spread, an action Jungkook didn’t fail to notice, making him inwardly gag at your lovesick look. Jungkook stepped up to the table first, cutting you off. You gave him a look of confusion.

He pulled your chair out, and nodded his head at you to sit down, which you did, cautiously, still giving him a weird look. In all the 6 years of knowing him, he’s not once pulled your chair out for you. Interesting. Eyeing him warily, he sat down across from you, taking up the second set of dishes that were laid out, the only one left was at the head table, where you presumed Yoongi would sit, since it was his house and all.

Mrs. Yang poured you both a fresh glass of water before asking if you’d like any wine. You refused politely, and Jungkook agreed to a red wine, which she also poured for him after fetching it from his wine cellar. Once you were both situated and comfortable, did she take her leave, saying that Yoongi should be arriving shortly with the rest of the food and she was going to leave for the rest of the evening. Jungkook and you half bowed in your seated position at her and gave thanks for her hospitality. She bowed politely back with a smile and left, the front door opening and closing shortly after. It wasn’t until the door shut, did your boyfriend make his appearance.

Holding a rather large tray in his hands, he carefully walked towards the table to set it just as delicately in the free space located conveniently in the middle of the table where you could all easily reach it. Your eyes widened at the plethora of food, both of your favorites and Jungkook’s. It made you smile at him with glee, clapping lightly in thanks. Yoongi chuckled at your actions, and gave a mock bow. Jungkook just stared at the delicious looking food with a ravenous look, before collecting himself enough to both comment and greet Yoongi in his usual fashion of a introvert.

“Hey, I’m Jungkook. The food looks amazing. May I?” He looked at Yoongi for approval, hands already reaching out with chopsticks and a bowl to grab his favorite, ramyeon. Yoongi nodded his head with a smile and greeting of his own, still standing.

“Nice to meet you, Jungkook. I’m Min Yoongi, but please, call me Yoongi. And by all means, dig in, it was made for you specifically.”

His attention turned to you as Jungkook started to inhale his noodles. A quiet moan could be heard from the male across from you, one you knew all too well, having made your own to Yoongi’s food countless times. You could tell, he was in heaven.

Yoongi’s eyes gave a look of confusion, but not necessarily at you.

“Why are you sitting there, y/n?”

Now it was your turn to give him a look.

“What?”

Standing behind the head table chair, he pulled it out, before taking a stand behind yours and gently scooting it back. Maneuvering to your side, he held out his hand for you to take, which you did, still not understanding what was wrong with your seat. Yoongi guided you the few short steps to the head of the table, waiting for you to sit down. Once you were, he gently pushed your chair in, then resumed to occupy your previous seat. Switching out your glasses for you, he made sure your set up was complete before taking your hand in his with a smile.

“You were meant to sit there, Mrs. Yang must have forgot. I thought it would make more sense if you were between the both of us, in case Jungkook feels more comfortable being next to you.” He explained his reasoning, once again making your heart swell with joy due to his natural, caring nature.

Jungkook was listening, but still eating, so he didn’t comment. Not that he exactly wanted too in the first place. He’ll never admit it out loud, but he was grateful for the seating change. He did feel better with you closer. Unfortunately for Jungkook, it seems like Yoongi was interested in getting to know his girlfriend’s best friend.

Yoongi took a bite of his food and swallowed before shifting his line of sight to Jungkook. Observing the male in front of him, he realized he was younger than expected. All the stories you told of Jungkook made him seem older, especially from all the various accomplishments he’s already made due to his art. Having looked up his artwork already, he opted not too look up any personal info, wanting to get it directly from the male himself. And the only thing you did tell him, was that he was engaged, which was also public knowledge at this point, so it’s not like you were divulging any secrets.

“I hear a congrats is in order.”

Not realizing that Yoongi was directing the statement to Jungkook, the oblivious male continued to shovel various other food in his mouth. Kicking Jungkook under the table with your foot is what made Jungkook snap his head up at you with a mouthful of food before swallowing loudly and glaring at you.

You steeled your own gaze at him with a tight smile on your face and tilted your head towards your boyfriend.

“Yoongi is talking to you Jungkook, don’t be rude.” You started off calm before your voice became more sharp at the end. Jungkook only stared harder at you before relenting his head to look at Yoongi and finally acknowledge him.

With a tight, bunny toothed, grin, he asked Yoongi to repeat his question. He managed to sound genuinely sorry so you’ll give him points for his on the spot acting. And then scold him later. Hearing Yoongi for the second time, he was able to give a genuine smile to your boyfriend before replying.

“Yeah! I asked my girl to marry me recently, she said yes. Thank you!” He looked happy when he said it, as he should, but you couldn’t help but feel some type of way about it. You chalked it up to the few sips of Yoongi’s wine that you stole for making your emotions go all over the place. Jungkook continued speaking, much to your surprise.

“Did you know that it was y/n that introduced us?” He nodded his head in your direction for emphasis, making you let out a small laugh to confirm his statement. How could you forget? It used to be one of the worst days of your life, after all.

“Yes. She did mention that she introduced you two, but didn’t tell me the full story. Would you mind..?” He trailed off with a smile, waving his hand at Jungkook in a silent way of telling him to reveal the whole story. Unfortunately for you, he was more than happy to oblige. Even going so far as to disregard his remaining food and lean further in his chair towards Yoongi to recall the story fondly.

What little smile you had left immediately vanished behind the facade of now fully grabbing Yoongi’s drink to chug down the rest of the red wine. Unbeknownst to you, though Yoongi was facing towards Jungkook during his story, his peripheral was on you. So he noticed the slip in your mood. He’d have to ask you about it later.

It felt like Jungkook kept making the story longer than it really was, the clock mocking you with each loud ‘tick’. Swallowing yet another glass of your only reprieve for the night, you pouted when you grabbed the now empty bottle of wine in your hands before setting it back down with a – you thought quiet sigh, but apparently not, cause both male’s turned to you at your heavy, loud, exhale. Oops.

Clearing your throat at the sudden attention, you sat up from your once relaxed position in your chair that you settled for when the story kept droning on, long since finishing your food after the first 20 minutes of it.

“What?” You eyed the two males, but due to your up until now, quiet persona, when you opened your mouth to say the word, it got stretched out with the sudden yawn that came out to accompany it. Your entire body screamed that you were tired, both of them could tell. It was Yoongi that would come to your rescue, much to Jungkook’s hidden displeasure.

“As enjoyable as this was, we should probably call it a night. It looks like our y/n, here, is ready to pass out in her chair.” Jungkook didn’t miss, or like the way he said our. It left a sinking feeling in his stomach as soon as the simple word left his mouth. But he couldn’t argue with him over it, cause technically, it was true. He might have been your best friend, but Yoongi was your boyfriend, your lover. It held more weight to his title.

Nodding in agreement, Jungkook went to help clean up and clear the table, until Yoongi suddenly sprung up out of his chair in a flourish. The action startling you enough to wake you up and follow suit to Jungkook’s ministrations. Now he looked at both of you with an embarrassed look across his face, waving his hands in front of him in a fervor, he tried to stop you both.

“Please, you don’t have to help clean up, I’ve got it covered. You’re my guests–,” he stuttered the sentence out, losing his confidence in the matter now that he’s well and sober. His recluse side wanting to shy away from the innocent act of hospitality and just being a kind person, cause he wasn’t used to it, having company. Being doted over. It was unnatural to him, foreign.

But you both chose to ignore his pleas of stopping, it only making you two want to do it more. Stacking up the dishes, Jungkook gestured for you to stack yours on top of his already haphazardly stacked pile. You, being ever the smart one, made a show to stack your pile on top of the large tray Yoongi first brought out that could hold much more than you both ever could. Jungkook chuckled at your smarts, and you just winked at him, sinking back into the pleasant atmosphere it once was before the dreaded story came up.

Yoongi’s shoulders sagged in defeat, him reaching out to help gather his own dishes to set on the tray, before you gently swatted his hands away with your own and gave him a warm smile.

“Baby, please. You went through the hassle of cooking dinner and setting this up for us, it’s the least we can do. You just relax, okay?” You spoke in such a soft voice, it made Jungkook pause in his actions, savoring the warmth it brought to his body even though you weren’t even talking with him. It was just the kind of effect you had on him, but he’d never tell you.

He had Isla, he had to remind himself. He chose Isla. And you chose Yoongi. Now, he had to live with the consequences of his actions he didn’t act upon when he should’ve. Back when he once had a chance.

Feeling you both were about to share an intimate moment he didn’t want to be apart of, let alone witness, he noisily clustered Yoongi’s dishes on the tray and grabbed the handles, lifting it up with ease.

“If you could point me to the kitchen, I can bring these over there for you.” His voice was flat when he spoke, something you noticed, but didn’t comment on. Yoongi didn’t pick it up, thankfully, too focused on your figure in front of him and the way you made him feel with just your words alone.

Sparing a glance at Jungkook, Yoongi smiled at him in gratitude and gave him directions to the kitchen, informing him that he could just set them next to the sink and he would wash them later. Jungkook just clicked his tongue at him in a way of saying ‘got it’ and left the room in a brisk, yet careful pace.

You followed his figure until he went out of sight, your brows furrowed at his change of demeanor. You swear, his moods could give you whiplash. With a touch of his hand on your cheek, Yoongi had you looking back at him. You didn’t even realize exactly how close to you he got since Jungkook’s absence.

“Are you okay, y/n?” His face showed concern, though you don’t know why.

“I’m fine, Yoongs. And thank you for an amazing meal and evening. I think even Jungkook might’ve had a good time, and he’s a tough guy to please.” You joked with a light chuckle, leaning into the hand that still caressed your cheek.

“I’m glad to hear that, I was worried he wouldn’t like me.” His confession made your eyes widen. He usually never cares what people think of him, so why now?

“You? Were worried about someone liking you? Are you okay, Min Yoongi? Are you sick?” You playfully placed the back of your hand against his forehead, acting as if you were checking his temperature. He rolled his eyes at you playfully back, lowering your hand gently only to hold it in his own.

“Of course I want him to like me. He’s your best friend, y/n. If he doesn’t like me, then I’m basically cut. Out. Shouldn’t even exist if I’m being honest, cause you’re the only good thing I’ve got going for me.” At his words, you let out a laugh, thinking he was joking. He wasn’t, you soon realized, when he didn’t laugh along with you, looking at you as if you were something he wasn’t worthy of having in his life.

To him, you were just a friend, until you weren’t. It happened so smoothly, so naturally, he didn’t see it coming, until it did. And now, as bad as it may sound, he can’t picture life without you, nor does he want too. But he can’t help the nagging feeling in his gut that something is up with you and your best friend. And that that something is more than capable of Jungkook taking you from him in more ways than one.

But he knows, as you look at him with a look of worry and, dare he say, maybe even a hint of love, he doesn’t have the heart or courage to ruin the seemingly nice evening you three shared by voicing his concerns. It’ll have to wait for another time, when the source of his concern isn’t in the next room.

Your only reply to his statement was to lean up and kiss him softly, yet meaningfully, on his perfect lips. Using your actions, rather than your words you know would only hurt him if you told the truth. And right now? You wanted to enjoy your time with Yoongi, without the lingering thought that is Jungkook, burrowing himself more into your heart and mind like he always does.

Successfully ending the too deep conversation in your current state of mind, you sank into Yoongi and all he had to offer, hands splayed against his chest to keep you upright in his hold. Yoongi returned your affection ten fold, effectively getting lost in you and forgetting where you two were.

A throat clearing behind you is what broke you two apart, both of you coming to your senses as you sheepishly stared at each other as if you got caught doing something worse than what you actually were. Wiping the lipstick that somehow made it onto Yoongi’s lips with your thumb, had the male’s cheeks lighting up in a pale pink hue. The sight had you chuckling fondly at him, before you gave him one last quick peck on the lips. Pulling away for the last time, you patted his chest and stepped away from him to look over at Jungkook.

He stood in the doorway with his hands in his pockets, looking straight through you at Yoongi with a glint in his eyes you’ve never seen before. Tilting your head into his line of sight, you broke whatever spell he was under. Giving him a ‘you good?’ look, he shook his head at you before gesturing towards the front door and directing his attention back at the host of the now night, seeing as the windows were encased in blackness around you.

“I’m gonna head out. The dishes are by the sink. You can stay if you want, y/n. Wouldn’t want to interrupt anything.” He glowered at you pointedly, a not so subtle jab that you definitely noticed. “I’ve already called for a car, they’re waiting for me outside. So I’ll call you later, okay? Thank you for the nice evening, Yoongi. It was a pleasure to meet you.” He half assed a bow, then gave a shit eating grin and walked out of sight. Shortly after, you heard the tall tale sign of him leaving, as the door opened and closed. The heavy door leaving a loud noise in it’s wake, as it cut through the silence like a knife.

*******

Jungkook would contact you a few days later. When you asked what made him suddenly drop off the face of the planet after your evening at Yoongi’s, he used the ruse of working on a ‘new project’ as his excuse of ignoring your texts and calls. You didn’t believe him, but you humored him anyways. The reason he called you, however, was because he had a model that cancelled on him last minute, and he was in desperate need of another. So, naturally, he thought about you, his best friend who could never say no to any of his requests, especially when it came to something as important as his art.

He didn’t really explain what it is you had to do, but you trusted him fully, so you didn’t really care. Sending you the address to his own new art studio, he told you to come over as soon as possible. Thankfully, it was only 20 minutes away from your place, so the ‘as soon as possible’ request was possible to accomplish.

When you arrived to his studio, you were let in by his assistant who was leaving for the day. He told you Jungkook was finishing up a previous project and wanted you to wait for him in the main lobby area. Though walking into the lobby, you were surprised. The ambience of the place exuded a romantic aura. The lights were dimmed and there’s even a bottle of bubbly sitting in a bucket of ice cubes on a table in the middle of the room, but no glasses. Weird.

Looking around the spacious room, it’s tidy and modern. You can see his artistic taste shine in the way it’s decorated. You couldn’t wait to get a tour of the rest. Just as you went to touch one of the many statues that littered the room, you could hear footsteps behind you. Pivoting in your heels, you came face to face with a grinning Jungkook who held two wine glasses in his hands. Ah, so that would explain the missing glasses.

Holding his arms out to his sides, you noticed his loose tank top he was wearing was splattered with various colors of paint along with his worn out jeans, a tall tale sign that he was finishing up an art project like his assistant told you. Some paint even made it onto his face, which had you lightly giggling at his appearance, but you were used to it.

“What do you think of the place?” He asked you, genuinely curious of your opinion that he held in high regards, knowing you would never lie to him. One of the many things he liked about you, you were blunt, yet honest.

“Wow, it looks great in here!” Your voice and facial expressions showed pure awe and admiration. You only wished you had a sliver of his artistic taste to decorate your own place as simple, yet luxurious as this. “Looks like you have a little more than just a photo shoot prep in mind…” you trailed off, looking at him with a raised eyebrow and coy smile. Being a model, you naturally assumed his new art project had to do with a photo shoot, one of the many ways he created art.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Jungkook? I don’t think Yoongi or Isla would like that very much.” You playfully jested at him, as he set the glasses down on the table to uncork the wine.

“Oh, absolutely.” He cheekily threw at you, winking at you and laughing heartily. His eyes meet yours as he straightens up and once again holds both wine glasses in his hands to walk towards you, his expression becoming more genuine.

Once he’s in front of you, he offers you one of the glasses that you graciously take and swallow a big swig of. You needed it after your own grueling day of work you had yesterday, working with a photographer that was infamous for his harsh critiques during his photo shoots as he strived to get the best pictures possible. You initially wanted to vent to your best friend, but when he refused to answer you, you decided to vent to Yoongi instead, who was more than happy to lend you a listening ear. His comforting words and presence alone, stifled the anger and self deprecating thoughts you held, and for the first time ever, you both spent the rest of the evening in his bed tangled in sheets. It was everything you dreamed it would be, and more.

“I mostly wanted to make it up to you for bailing on you so suddenly.” His face looked sullen as he swirled the wine in his glass gently before taking a sip of his own. “And anyways, who’s to say we can’t get some work done, and have some quality time together simultaneously?”

“I’ll cheers to that!” You lifted your glass towards his as you both clinked them together and took another big gulp in sync.

“I even have something else in mind, other than the usual photo shoot.” He said it with a mysterious tone, making you narrow your eyes at him with caution. Just what exactly did he have up his non-existing sleeves? “You wanna hear it?” The excitement he now showed in his voice and facial expression was infectious. You’re curious to see what he has planned for you, which is exactly what you tell him.

“My big priority for tonight is color tests. I was hoping you’d let me practice on you?” His usual confident demeanor turned into a shy one right in front of your eyes, only getting worse with his following explanation that made your eyes widen and cheeks burn under the low light of the room. “Your back would make the perfect canvas for this.”

“Am I going to have to stand very, very still for this?” As much as you loved helping him, you were going to dread having to stand in one spot for potential hours.

“Stand?” He echoed you with a deep chuckle. “No, no! We’re going to use my bedroom.”

“Bedroom?” This time it was you echoing his response. What bedroom is he talking about? Not that you weren’t familiar with his bed, having innocently crashed in it with him on multiple occasions. But it never related to anything needed for his art, so you were very intrigued now.

“Do you want me to show you where I get my best work done?” He asked you with a raise of his brow.

“My interest is peaked. By all means.” You gestured at him with your almost empty glass of wine, before chugging the rest. He followed suit and grabbed your glass from you to set them both back on the table.

Jungkook then walks past you, waving at you to follow him as he does. He leads you down the same path he took to get to you in the lobby, but this time in the opposite direction, towards his bedroom. One, he explained during the short walk there, he had in case he needed to stay over night and finish up any projects at the studio. Stepping into the bedroom, he waits for you to walk inside before he turns to you to speak.

“First, let me get a little more comfortable and keep the mess to a minimum.” He winks at you, reaching back behind him to grab the material of his shirt, his elbows now on either side of his ears, effectively making his muscles strain from the action as he pulls his shirt off. You would think the sight would have you hot and bothered, cause normally, it would. Now that you have Yoongi, however, whose body is just as delectable, if not moreso than the male’s in front of you, to satiate your sexual desires, you don’t even flinch.

A realization that Jungkook notices, having secretly always watched your facial expressions to him undressing in front of you with a hidden sense of power over knowing he could get that kind of lust filled reaction out of you. Not that he would ever act on it, of course, having a girlfriend. His pants pool to his feet next, that he kicks off somewhere unceremoniously. And now he’s left in nothing other than his short, skin tight, black, boxers. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t sneak a peak at the very obvious bulge that was prominent within the confines of his boxers, both a blessing and a curse in your opinion, of just how endowed Jungkook is.

Waiting for his instructions, you stood there, stiffly. All of the sudden feeling very overdressed, and slightly uncomfortable with the whole scenario. But you agreed to help Jungkook, and if this is what he needed, you would oblige him.

Pointing over to the bed with a lazy finger, he gave you your first instructions.

“Can you lay down on your stomach for me and just get comfortable?” He asked you, fully giving you the chance to back out and say no if you wanted too. You didn’t. Having avoided looking at the rather large object in the room, the bed, you now saw that all the blankets were shoved off for the occasion. And there was even an equally as large, white, silk sheet that was draped over the entirety of the bed that you would be laying on top of.

You crawl your way to the middle of the bed and lay face down, your head laying comfortably on one of his pillows that was conveniently left. You can feel the bed dip as Jungkook makes his way on the bed himself. He takes the position of straddling you, his butt coming to sit directly on top of yours. In one hand, he already has a paintbrush, and occupying his other hand is his palette of various colors of paint. It’s all you can make out, from the little bit of peripheral you have on either side of you, of his figure due to your current angle.

“You good? You comfy? I’m not too heavy for you?” His onslaught of questions came with a joking tone, but you knew that he was genuinely concerned for your well being, wanting you to be comfortable every step of the way.

Jungkook’s weight on your lower back isn’t uncomfortable, but despite your previous feelings, you can’t help how fast your heart starts beating as he relaxes in his position on top of you.

You take a deep breath in and snuggle into his pillow. It smells like Jungkook — fresh, herbal, soothing.

“Very comfy.” Your voice was already coming out in a sleepy tone by how relaxed you felt, but you were wide awake.

“Perfect. I’m ready to get started, if you are?” This was it. Your last chance to bail out if you wanted too. Once again, you steeled your nerves and pressed on. For Jungkook, and for his art, you nod at him, giving him your final answer.

He grabs the bottom of your shirt and begins peeling the material off your back, pushing it up until it rests directly above your shoulders. You shiver slightly as his hand brushes your skin, the contact feels electric, and you wonder if he felt it as well.

“Your body is so amazing.” His low tone doesn’t come off sultry, but moreso it’s one of awe. You dig your head deeper into the pillow, feeling a wave of excitement go throughout your entire body at his blunt, but honest, words. Easing the tension that filled the air, you replied with a nervous laugh.

“You haven’t even begun painting yet!”

“Look, y/n.” His voice was still low, but also soft, and equally as persistent as he continued his heartfelt statement. “I know art when I see it.”

Rolling your eyes at yourself, you decided to humor the male.

“If you think it’s art now, I can’t wait to see it after you work your magic.”

“It’s like you’re giving me a head start.” With that final comment of him admiring your bare back, he begins his work. slowly at first, but then building with intensity. You try to imagine what the painting looks like, but you find your eyes wandering around the room. It feels like you understand Jungkook a little bit more as you take in the details of the space around you.

The room is tidy, but the longer you look, the more you notice. The art on the walls, the plants by the window, the trinkets tucked away on shelves. They were all whispers of Jungkook’s taste and passions. Eclectic, but tranquil. You’re surprised by the neatness, his creative energy seems like it would always leave a mess, but the bedroom feels curated and well kept. While he works, he effortlessly makes conversation with you, one of the only people who makes it easy to initiate a conversation with. His voice is soft, yet low, and you feel safe.

“You should tell me more about yourself. I want to get to know you better.” This has your brows furrowing in confusion. Know you better? Doesn’t he already know you?

“Uh, like what?” You ask, clueless as to what he means.

He ‘hmms’ thoughtfully, before responding.

“What are you looking for in a relationship these days?”

What?

You decide to answer his question truthfully.

“I’m looking for someone I can confide in.” Though you can’t see, he stares at your back in wonderment, inwardly checking off a list he has in his mind that pertains to himself, knowing that you confide in him all the time. It gives him hope, until you utter out your next words, not yet done with your line of thought. “Like a best friend, you know? If you’re not there for each other, nothing else matters.” His face falls, then once again contorts into one of concentration as he focuses on a few strokes of his paintbrush, watching as it glides over your skin. The action somehow feeling more intimate with the deep conversation that accompanied it.

He nodded in agreement, before realizing you couldn’t see him nod, and instead answered verbally for your benefit.

“Yep. I totally understand.”

“I’m just over people who don’t see me as a friend and equal in the relationship.”

His brows furrowed at your words, not knowing you felt that way about relationships. But he agreed wholeheartedly with you.

“I don’t think it would be possible for me to relate to that harder.”

Now this has you staring at the wall ahead of you, lost in your own little world. Is this how he was really feeling with Isla? Was she not treating him right? Confiding in him? Seeing him as an equal? You hoped you were wrong, but the way he said it with such conviction and mirth, you couldn’t help but think it was true. And that alone made your heart drop into your stomach, cause you wanted nothing more than for Jungkook to find someone who treats him as if the sun shines out of his ritually bleached asshole. Not that you judged him for it, accompanying him various times to get the action done yourself.

“What about you, Jungkook?” He didn’t miss the way your voice softened as you asked him the same question he just asked you. “What are you looking for?”

“Well, I’m kind of looking for something pretty serious.” Your lips pursed at that, knowing he got recently engaged, so of course that would be his answer. Plus, he always told you how important it was for him to build both a family and legacy.

“And honestly? I think I’ve found what I’m looking for in yo–,” his eyes widened as he coughed to cover up his mistake of almost slipping up and saying ‘you’, instead of his fiancée’s name. “–in Isla.” He finished with a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing that was far from the truth, but he was already in too deep to change his mind and actually follow his heart. The one that always wanted you.

Jungkook sets down his paintbrush briefly to say this, emphatically separating his words from the task at hand, making you believe it more. His voice, to you, sounding sincere. It causes a deep pit in your stomach to form, as you try your best to cover up your true emotions to wish your best friend well.

“That’s great, Jungkook. I’m glad you found your happiness in Isla. It must be nice knowing you for sure found your happily ever after.” Laced with fake enthusiasm that went unnoticed, Jungkook grimaced, wanting nothing more than to say what he truly felt over the matter, but bit his tongue instead, knowing he can’t. Did this mean though, that you don’t believe you’ve found your own happily ever after in Yoongi? He had to ask. So, he did. Your reply shocked him to his core.

You blame the wine, you blame the intimacy of it all, you blame how safe Jungkook makes you feel, and you, for the first time in your 6 years of knowing him, bare your soul to your best friend.

Letting out a forced laugh, your eyes start to water, once again blaming something other than your feelings for the tears that wanted to shed and cleanse you of your prolonged guilt and affection. You were thankful that he couldn’t really see your face at his current angle, or you his, for what you say so shamelessly.

“Wanna know something funny?” You start out with a light, playful tone. One that makes Jungkook chuckle awkwardly in response to yours. “From the very first day I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. I just didn’t realize until it was too late, that it would filter out into me being ridiculously, madly, in love with you.” You gave out another light, now watery, laugh. One that this time, Jungkook did notice.

His eyes softened on your figure, suddenly becoming much more aware of how intimate this all was for two supposedly ‘best friends’. And now, he instantly regretted inviting you over to do this in his bedroom of all places. It was wrong of him, and deep inside he knew it was wrong, yet he did it anyways. It just made him feel more like shit with your sudden confession of love, one he’s waited all his life to hear fall from your supple lips. He just wished it was under better circumstances, like you both being single and not in your own, separate, relationships. His being one that was serious. Getting married, serious.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He didn’t know what to say, and cautiously, he continued with his brush strokes. For a moment, you hear only paintbrush on skin and the sound of Jungkook’s breathing. Your lips pursed at his silence, and you regretted saying anything, but powered on in hopes of him finishing his work on your back soon. If he still didn’t want to stop after your raw confession, than you wouldn’t let it effect you either.

“With Yoongi, I do feel needed. I feel cared for. I feel heard. I feel safe. I feel loved. But–,” letting out a quiet sigh you continued, reluctantly. “I’m not sure if I see a future with him, yet. I’m just taking it day by day and hoping for the best. You know?” You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. Giving your answer, and deeming it acceptable, Jungkook opted to change topics.

“What about if we went away to relax? Let’s say I whisked you away for a weekend. Where would you want to go?” The sudden change in topic made your body sag into the silk sheets with relief, knowing he was atleast trying to help you ease the tension that hung in the air around you both, thickly.

It was your turn to ‘hmm’ in thought.

“Somewhere you could show me around the art scene.” It was such a simple request, yet held so much weight to Jungkook, his heart soaring at your suggestion.

“You just made my heart explode a little bit.” He chuckled fondly.

“It would be awesome! An insider look at an artsy city? You’d be the best tour guide.” He felt touched by your confidence in him.

“Thanks for trusting my knowledge in art. I think I have pretty good taste.” He boasted a little at the end, making you scoff in amusement.

“You must! I mean, you think I’m art.”

“I think you’re a masterpiece, huge difference.” He stated it so casually, and matter of factly, butterflies began to make a home in your once pit of a stomach.

Now bent over, holding himself over you with one hand, as he focuses on the little details of his artwork on your back, his breath is hot on your ears as he speaks. It sends a chill down your spine. He’s obviously deep in the flow of his work, you can feel the paintbrush moving in passionate strokes, leaving cool paint across your back. Your conversation may now be innocent, but the combination of the paintbrush that’s now on the small of your back, Jungkook’s hushed voice, and your position in bed, has you feeling tingly all over.

His next question breaks you out of your not so innocent thoughts.

“What if we could go anywhere in the world?”

“Somewhere with a lot of history.” You instantly reply, not needing to even think of your answer. “Like, give me something straight up ancient.” You emphasized the last word with excitement.

“How come?” Not the answer he was expecting, but he was genuinely curious.

“Historical sites inspire me so much. I think it’s so cool that some places hold centuries or millennia of history, and countless people’s stories. More than you and I could ever know.” Your genuine passion and excitement shine through in your words, making him grin fondly at you. You were unique, you were different. He loved it.

“That makes a lot of sense. I love the way you think.”

“What about you? Where do you get inspiration from?” You’re inwardly shocked you never quite directly asked him this question over the years, but it’s better late than never, right?

“Well, nature is a big one…,” he trailed off, wondering if he should finish the natural occurring thought that crossed his mind when you asked your question. He came to the conclusion that you would never judge him, so he said it. “You know, there’s nothing like being nude outdoors, the sun on your skin. Being able to blend in with the flowers and forget about everything. Some of the best camouflage paints are done in nature.” His voice gradually got louder, the more passionate he became with his answer, it was nice to hear.

“Oh wow, I’d love to see that.” You spoke honestly and in earnest. The whole scenario he described sounded so freeing. Something you haven’t felt yourself in a long time.

“Maybe we should explore it together sometime.” He casually suggested, not meaning it in a sexual way at all, you’re sure. But you couldn’t help but prod into his suggestion to gain more info.

“You mean like…get naked outside? I love the way you’re always testing the limits. I hope you can teach me a thing or two.” You truthfully always admired that about him, the way he always thought outside of the box, unlike most artists who chose a more ‘safe’ approach with their art. You always wanted to see things through his eyes, wondering what the world looked like to him. And you always incorporated whatever he so graciously taught you in your own line of work with modeling. Conveying emotions, letting new poses come naturally to you through your body expression, choosing what you wore on the rare occasions that they let you pick your own outfit.

“Give me some time, and I promise I can bring that side out in you, y/n. Cause I know it’s in you, it’s in all of us, if only we look hard enough.” He vowed to you so solemnly, you swooned with a lovesick smile he couldn’t see.

As his words hang in the air, Jungkook finishes his painting test. The final strokes of the paintbrush leave you both breathless, and when you look at the final design in the body length mirror he supplies for you, you see a beautiful pattern weaving green stripes across your back and flowers sprouting from your spine.

It looks fucking amazing. You expected nothing less when it came to Jungkook and his skilled hands. You now felt honored at being his canvas for the day.

You and Jungkook admire his work in the mirror, and after a few moments your eyes come to meet in the reflection. You hold his gaze, the tension between you growing with each erratic beat of your heart.

You want to say something, you want to make a move. Damn the consequences of your actions, if it meant finally succumbing to your feelings and desires you held pent up for so long. But, as fate would have it, before you could muster up the courage, an alarm on Jungkook’s phone cuts through the silence. Jungkook groans in frustration and hurries to shut it off.

“I can’t believe I forgot to disable this before you came over.” He grumbled to himself, both upset and grateful for the interruption. Who knows what might’ve transpired between you two otherwise. Something he’ll think about tonight as he lays his head down on his pillow in an attempt to sleep, which reminds him why he set the alarm in the first place. “Oh, this means it’s late. I spent way longer on that than I originally planned. I just got caught up in the process, I guess.” He chuckled sheepishly, scratching at his neck.

“You had me very close to becoming a very unruly model.” You narrowed your eyes at him playfully through the mirror, watching as he grabbed a washcloth that was close by, soaking in a bucket of warm, soapy, water on the floor. Rather than bending over the entire time to clean your back from the paint, he decided it was better for his back to kneel down behind you, his height still making it possible to reach your entire back.

Taking a picture of your back with his phone first, he gently started the new process of wiping his artwork off your back, scoffing at your insinuation, but playing off of it himself.

“In what way?” Jungkook flashes you a brilliant smile in the mirror as he tries to tease you into saying something more.

“I just imagine it would be difficult to paint if your hands were…otherwise occupied.” You tried to keep your usual, confident, flirty, exterior, but your voice failed you and cracked at the end. If Jungkook noticed, he didn’t say anything, and for that, you’re grateful.

“You’d be surprised what I can accomplish with just some paint and my fingertips.” His coy grin is intoxicating. Despite your best attempts to keep you’re cool, his own insinuation had your cheeks flushing. Your mind now racing to conjure a mental image of him finger painting across your skin, and not Isla’s, whom you’re positive has had your mental fantasy happen on her in real life, more than once.

With one final stroke of the washcloth, your back is now bare once again. You dropped your shirt as it flared around your exposed back before efficiently covering it from the mirror and Jungkook’s eyes.

“As amazing as this has been, we have to call it a night, I’m sorry. I have to get up early tomorrow to meet some models for another project.” He sounds authentically disappointed with your night ending, and if you’re honest with yourself, so are you. It started off rough, and heavy, but ultimately was super relaxing and informative. Finding out new things about Jungkook over the six years of knowing him already, felt good.

He got dressed back up in his tank top and jeans and escorted you back down the hall into the main lobby. Double checking to make sure you had everything, you paused in front of the front door and looked at Jungkook. He’s busy typing something into his phone, texting Isla, you could only assume. Taking the chance of him being distracted momentarily, you lean in to give him the usual kiss on the cheek goodbye.

Apparently you underestimated exactly how into his phone he was. As soon as you got a hair width away from his cheek, did his attention abruptly switch to you. Him angling his face at just the right time to effectively, and unintentionally, capture your lips with his own. Both of your eyes widen as you both pull away from each other in a haste. Mouths open, eyes still wide, you just stare at each other like a deer caught in headlights, not really knowing how to bypass was just happened.

It was his eyes that shifted first, staring into your own with an intensity that had your forehead lining with a light glaze of sweat. Your heart started beating erratically at the insane thought that he might have just actually liked kissing you as much as you liked kissing him.

He must’ve saw something he took as a green light as he searched your eyes, cause the next thing you knew, his lips were clashing against yours once more. In your heart, you knew it was so, so wrong. And truly, you wanted to stop it. But it’s like your brain short circuited, and your body had a mind of its own, as you kissed him back with just as much passion as he was giving you. It’s like everything you both have been holding back all night — no, for years, erupted into this long, heated, spine tingling, toe curling, passionate kiss.

With his hand secured behind your head, he let his phone drop to the floor without a care to pull you closer to him with his other hand now on the small of your back. The kiss held just as much intensity as his gaze did, as he leans his whole body into it, into you. Your hands find purpose on the nape of his neck, your own way of bringing him impossibly closer to you, your own belongings left in a disregarded heap on the floor at your feet. You don’t even notice when your phone incessantly buzzes at you that you’re getting a call from your boyfriend, just like Jungkook fails to see that his fiancée has just texted him back.

Your hands move to caress his back, as if to hold onto this moment for dear life. The one you’ve been waiting for all your life, since the moment you met Jungkook.

When he taps your ass with his hands, giving you a silent signal to jump without breaking the kiss, you do. He grabs underneath your ass effortlessly, his strong arms catching the weight of your body with ease. Your legs straddle his waist, as your arms find new home around his shoulders, your heels digging into his ass to bring him closer.

He grunts into your mouth as he expertly finds his way back to his bedroom, still holding you, somehow finding ways to maneuver you both safely, his eyes staying open during the heated make out session. Yours stayed shut, relishing in the moment.

Even when your back hits the cool, silk sheets, and he hovers over your eventual naked form with a look of pure, unadulterated love and lust, do you still not believe it’s happening. Not even when you feel the delicious snap of his hips against yours and you’re moaning breathlessly into each other’s mouths. Not when he pulls the first orgasm of the night out of you, and watches you come undone with something akin to pride on his face for being the one to garner that sinful and beautiful reaction out of you. Not when you switch positions with him and ride him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, your name spilling from his lips in a mantra as you witness and feel your own sense of pride of being the cause of his undoing. Not when he flips you both over to give you both one last mind blowing orgasm, as you come undone in sync. Not even when you’re both panting, covered in sweat, and your snuggly pressed into his side with your arm and leg draped over him in a possessive manner. Not when he’s rubbing soothing circles into your arm and whispering promises of his love and the future he knows you’ll both have as you fall asleep to his voice like a lullaby.

And definitely not when you wake up the next morning, cold and alone, the remnants of your lovemaking still embedded in the silk sheets around you. A lone note left on the pillow next to your head, a hasty scribble that you discern is Jungkook’s guilty conscience coming to haunt him.

The words ‘I’m sorry’ mocking you, as your tears cascade down your face, the only sound being the rhythmic pattern of your tear drops as they hit the note that makes you cry out in anger and rip it to shreds, scattering the pieces on the bed around you like confetti. And you know, you just know, that once again, he chose her over you.

The only thing you do believe is that things with Jungkook will never be the same again.

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mulling-over-milgram · 12 days

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Day two // actually started binding in my book binding project :0 (unbelievable)

Today was much more productive! I had the whole day (mostly) to work on it so l got heaps done! I didn't get as much done as I thought but l'm starting to suspect that it's because I over estimate my out put rather then I wasn't productive enough.

first thing I finished I don't have a full photo of because it was ripped to pieces :) it was a second prototype for the mechanism. It works the exact same way as the original and is pretty much same in general except for alterations to the decorations and this one was made to scale and with the same material as the final project.

I needed to make lots of alterations to it the first one didn't need because the first was to see if I could get the general idea to work this one was to get the exact details fully fleshed out they have the same skeleton but the sizing, shape and placement of the decoration is different something you can't see because it is as aforementioned ripped to pieces :) since it was a prototype I wasn't exactly super careful with it on top of the fact thing were getting changed/moved alot and that I scarified the material for other thing were I could its not in great shape.

(what remains…)

got the window? Thingy done today. (Well their the odd thing I want to tidy up and ad but functionally done) It's definitely the part I'm most proud of so far but I do sorta wish I had different materials. The colouring in pencil looks kinda out of place and the card is flimsier than I would have liked but l worked with what I had and I do like it. The star was originally supposed to be the earths moon but I stuck the planet circle on wrong so they weren’t next to each other anymore…so it changed it to a star! Surprise lucky reference in my kotoko book bind? More likely then you think

Something else thats more likely than you'd think actually book binding shock and awe. The binding isn't great but the biggest problem is l punched the holes in the wrong place :) it was fine in the end it just means the pages are a little out of place but man am I mad at myself for messing up something so simple.

And now for the thing that inspired the project actually pressing the book! Now you might be looking at the video below and be wondering about the label clearly saying 'flower press' and this is what I meant in the original poll when I said the press wasn't technically meant for books. My dads cousin had gotten it for an art project but never used it so he gave it to me because he thought l might want to incorporate some pressed flowers into my art but I realised that the press was big enough to fit a text block into it if you took out the cardboard layers so thats what its being used for.

Lastly I cut the cover boards! They aren't anything to special for now its just cardboard from the backs of old sketch books cut to size.

-uploading all the pictures is taking so long ITS BEEN OVER TWO HOURSSSS so while I waited I cut/folded and glued the inside pages. Nothing fancy just coloured paper.

#my art #getting all the pictures and videos to load was unreasonably difficult #I’m so incredibly done with tumblr rn #I’ve been trying to post this for hours and nows its midnight I’m just done trying

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orangeinecstasy · 8 months

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cup of music, part two ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟryan mcmahon

✧: part one

paring: ryan x fem!oc

summery: erin finally gets a glimpse at the rockstar girlfriend lifestyle.

a/n: hey everyone! so i originally uploaded these to wattpad, but i wanted to have a bit of a platform change. please let me know what you guys think. my requests are currently open so please feel free to send in an idea you have. enjoy!

wc: 2.5 k

*likes, reblogs, and feedback are greatly appreciated!

It had been a couple of weeks since you and Ryan had last seen each other. Because I and school and Ryan had stuff with his band, it felt almost impossible for us to meet up. That, however, didn't prevent us from calling and texting each other practically every minute of the day. He would show you his art while you would talk about your classes and working at the shop. He was like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day.

Today, thankfully, was a beautiful spring day. Everything around me was so green and vibrantly in bloom, making the fact that I had to study slightly less bearable. As I stared outside, the glass of the cafe window separating me from the world's beauty, my phone started to vibrate on the counter. Flipping it over, my face lit up once I saw Ryan's name across the top of it.

"Hey!" I say, answering the phone. I didn't know what it was, but my heart skipped a beat whenever he called me.

"Hey!! What are you up to?" I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

"Just studying for this bullshit test. You?" I slip my pencil into my notebook and shut it to focus more clearly on Ryan. "Damn, that sucks, love. If you're free a little later, I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner and maybe come to one of my shows?" I was honestly kind of shocked that he asked me to come to one of the shows so soon. There was a stereotype that people in bands had a reputation for keeping their relationships as open as possible. I knew Ryan, and I didn't have a set label, but that simple question caused my heart to give in to him more.

"Erin? You there?" I was so struck with shock that I forgot to respond. "Oh, yeah, sorry," laughing, I respond, "I'd love that. Just text me with all the details of that stuff." He hummed a soft response, "Will do. I'll talk to you later, yeah."

"Yeah!" The call ended, and I couldn't help but look down at my phone and smile. I was falling for him hard and fast.

After a few more hours of studying, I left the library and headed back home to change into something a bit cuter.

I didn't know much about Ryan's band. Just that he was the drummer, and Josh, the friend who came with him to the shop the last time, was their guitarist.

Because I didn't know what the video of the night would be, I settled on a black shirt with a low-scoping back that allowed for the tattoo of lilies of the valley on my spine to be exposed. Finally, I slipped on some jeans, a belt, and my trusty pair of black platform docs and headed out to meet Ryan at the dinner spot.

Thankfully the restaurant was only a five-minute walk from my apartment, so I decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and walk there. I hummed softly as I walked, and soon enough, Ryan came into view.

"Ryan!!" I call out to him, waving, his a giant smile on my face. "Erin!" he jogged over, arms engulfing me in a hug that slightly raised me off the ground. I didn't realize how strong he was, but that's what comes with being a drummer.

Hugging back, my lungs fill with his woody scent. "It's so good to see you." my feet again touched the ground as we slightly pulled away from the hug. I gently reach up, touching his cheek, and he leans into my touch. "It's really good seeing you too."

He took my hand, and the two of us walked into the cute cafe-style restaurant. "I hope you like this place. I've only been here a couple of times, but it's always been really nice." he squeezed my hand softly. "I'm sure I'll love it." I smile up at him, returning the squeeze.

Once we sat down at a table next to the large open windows and ordered, we spent nearly two hours just chatting. It was so lovely to sit there and talk with him about anything and every as we exchanged small touches. He was effortlessly funny and even more handsome than the last time I had seen him. After we finished, we decided to head out to the venue where he played tonight.

Our clasped hands swing between us as we walk to the venue. "So, you already know Josh. That leaves Eli and Robert. They're great, though Robert can be kind of... unfiltered at times." Nodding, I respond, "Cool! What type of music do you guys play? Should I be expecting jazz or heavy metal slipknot-type stuff?" he laughs, free hand running through his hair. "It's like alternative rock-pop-ish. You'll like it, promise."

"Hmm... okay, I trust you." leaning up, I kiss his cheek gently, leaving a berry stain on his cheek. "Oh, shit, sorry." laughing, I try and rub the lipgloss off of his cheek. "Don't be sorry. I like it; it's cute." I blush slightly at his comment.

The two of us got closer to the venue, fans coming into view. "Don't be worried, okay? They're usually super nice." He lets his hand drift on my bare back, creating a comforting touch. "I trust you."

Soon enough, the two of us got spotted. Fans started to scream Ryan's name as he walked past, some whispering to each other, asking who I was. But Ryan was unfazed, continuing to be his happy self as he waved back to the fans, returning some highs and I love yous. Seeing him be himself around the fans made him even more attractive. How confident and unwilling to create some rockstar persona showed me how lucky I had been.

Finally, the two of us were able to slip into the venue. "I hope that wasn't too overwhelming for you." looking down at me, he moved some hair from my face. "It was fine. They seem to really love you a lot."

Nodding, he smiles. "Yeah, they're the best. Ready to meet the guys?" I hum in response, his hand falling naturally back into mine as we walk to the dressing room.

The door was already open, allowing the chatter and music coming from inside to spill into the hallway. As we walked in, the smell of cigarette smoke, wood, and metal filled my lungs and mixed to have a pleasant smell.

Ryan cleared his throat, to which the music and chatter quickly stopped. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Erin." I wave as the guys start to stand. "Erin! It's good to see you again!" Josh said, pulling me into a tight friendly hug. "It's good to see you too." hugging back, laughing lightly at his enthusiasm. "I'm Eli. It's nice to meet you. Ryan seriously wouldn't shut up about you." we hug quickly before I meet the final band member. "I'm Robert. It's grand to meet you." I gave out the last hug. Though I was nervous before meeting the lads, they all seemed nice. "It's really wonderful to meet you all too. I'm super excited to watch you play!"

"I'm going to show her around a bit more before they let everyone in for the show. I'll see you, lads, in a few." As we walk back out of the room, I give them a little wave, hoping that I seemed friendly in our small interaction.

"Soooo, you always talk about me, do ya?" I nudge his side a few times before we start laughing. "I'm not even going to try and pretend like I don't. I like you a lot." he rubs his nape, making his slight embarrassment more noticeable. "I like you a lot, too." my arm loops around him as I rest my head on his shoulder.

We chatted as we walked around before, and finally, the two of us ended up on the stage. Ryan pointed out the guy's guitars before we got to the drum set. "It's so cool that you play the drums. It really fits your character." My fingers glide across the smooth cold metal of the symbols. "You're so fucking sweet," he kisses my head. "Here, sit down. I'll teach you how to play a little something." He settles himself on the stool, then pats his knee.

Sitting down on his knee, I move my hair, allowing it to lay across my shoulder, exposing my bare back and tattoo. "Holy shit Erin, this is beautiful." his hand travels down my spine, stopping at my mid-back. "I'm glad you like it. Lilies of the Vally they're my favorite." he takes a pair of drumsticks out of their holder. "I'll keep that in mind."

Handing me the drumsticks, his arms lay across mine, hands helping me hold the drumsticks in my own. "Okay, let me just test this," he stepped on the foot pedal, causing a thud to vibrate off the bass. "Hmm, okay, cool, ready?" nodding, our arms start to move together. It was just a simple beat, but it was fun to experience something Ryan was passionate about.

After a little bit of play, we stopped, the vibrations of the drums melting into the floor. I turned to face him, "See, you're not half bad." he smiled, hands moving from my arms to around my waist. "I think that's just because I have such an amazing teacher." I didn't know what it was, but at this moment, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. "Oh really? How good?" Ryan's gaze moved from my eyes to my lips and back up again. My heart beats faster as I lean down, our lips connecting shyly but soon melting together as the kiss becomes deeper.

Pulling away, my heart settled slightly. "Prove my point?" I move some hair from his face. "I think I need to test that again." he gives me a soft kiss, the biggest smile on his face. "Yeah, the point is proven." I shake my head. "You're such a dork."

Finally, it was time for the show. The fans' energy was terrific as they crowded into the venue, adorning cowboy hats and other fun accessories. Because I didn't want to take a good spot away from someone, I opted to stand on the side of the stage. "Hey, you're going to kill it out there." Squeezing Ryan's hand, I give him a peck on the cheek before he and the band member have to settle on the stage. "Thanks, love. I hope you enjoy." He returned the squeeze before the boys got the cue to go onstage.

The fan erupted in cheers as the boys walked on. Even though I only knew Ryan well, I was proud of all four lads. From what Ryan told me, they worked so hard to get where they are now, and it's so beautiful seeing someone you care about achieve their dreams.

The music was fucking amazing. I couldn't help myself from dancing and yelling along with the crowd. The energy was like nothing I had felt before, and being able to feel the mix of the instruments vibrate through the floor put me into some sort of trance. And Ryan, holy shit, it was amazing to see him play. Every once in a while, we would make eye contact between songs, or when the guys were switching out his guitars, even in a moment where he should feel like he's on top of the world, he would mouth things like 'Are you okay?' or 'Are you having fun?'. Fuck, he was literally the sweetest, and I made sure to show that I was enjoying myself to the fullest.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight. We'd like to dedicate our last song of the night to a very special person." Eli's voice melted into the microphone and out of the speakers as he spoke, his eyes shifting to glance at me. Cocking my eyebrow in confusion, I look to Ryan, trying to get some calcification. "Me?" I say, pointing to myself. He nods, before the start of When I'm With You starts blasting through the speakers, the fans screaming along with the lyrics.

I couldn't help but stand there speechless, my eyes never leaving Ryan. Once the song ended, the crowd roared, the guys saying their goodbyes, throwing picks and drumsticks into the crowd. Ryan was the first to walk off stage, his arms instantly wrapped around my body in a tight hug. "Did you enjoy yourself?" he looks down at me, the cheekiest grin on his face. "Enjoy myself? Ryan, I had the best fucking time. You're amazing! The lads are amazing! You didn't have to dedicate that last song to me," my eyes shift away from his, "You're the sweetest person I've ever met." we exchanged a small kiss, and the boys made some joking groaning noise that caused me to blush under the dim backstage lights.

The rest of the night, the guys and I hung out, just drinking and talking. It was nice to get to know the rest of the band. They were all so sweet and funny. I couldn't believe that I had found someone so perfect who had friends that I had clicked with. At around two in the morning, we decided it was time to pack up and get some rest.

The night had a slight chill, which prickled against my warm skin. "I'll walk you back to your place," Ryan said, loading the last part of his drum kit into the van. My hand extended to him, and he took it, the two of us walking down the street close together. "I really did have a wonderful time tonight. It means a lot that you invited me out." My head rests on his shoulder as we walk. "I'm glad you like it, Erin. Feel free to come to any of our shows, okay?" I nod, and the two of us finally reach my apartment.

My heart protested as the two of us stood in front of the blue door of my apartment, my hands still in his. "We'll see each other soon, yeah? Maybe go out somewhere in a few days?" he pulls me closer as he speaks. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot." I smile up at him before giving him a goodnight kiss. "Goodnight, Erin." one of his hands breaks away from mine. "Goodnight, Ryan."

He moves to leave, but I speak up before our hands can break away from their hold on one another. "Hey, do you want to stay the night?" he turns back, smiling. "I'd love that more than you know." The two of us enter my apartment, tangled in each other's arms again.

Even though it was early in the morning, we stayed up, talking, kissing, and never leaving each other's sides. Honestly, it was one of the best nights of my life. Who knew meeting a boy in a recorded story would change your life.

#inhaler dublin x reader #inhaler dublin #inhaler band #inhaler #ryan mcmahon #josh jenkinson #eli hewson #elijah hewson #robert keating #bobby skeetz

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