#so you kind of only get the full image if you can understand both languages

[auld-a]

heya! I was wondering how the dorm leaders would react to a eah!cerise hood!yuu? and if you write for ruggie or jack, then can you add them too? NO PRESSURE

Dorm Leaders + Ruggie & Jack x Male!EAH!Cerise Hood!Yuu

When I was writing one of my current posts I actually had this exact thought

(Also I’m so sorry on the wait :,))

🌹Riddle Rosehearts🌹

He admires your loyalty to those you love but at first he thinks you’re just like everyone in Savanclaw

But even if you may be a rebel you know how to get along with royals

Once he understands that you’re not just some energetic rule breaker like many people there and actually sees what lies beneath he enjoys you’re company

He doesn’t completely relate to you’re feelings of having to hide yourself but he sympathizes nonetheless

He would very much encourage you to bd more proud of your appearance and let go of the prejudice notions instilled in you back at EAH

I do not know why at all but I just have a feeling that Cerise would memorize and follow all of the 800+ rules

I seriously cannot decipher why you just would

But you don’t make others follow them, you find them entertaining but definitely nonsense

You would insist of serving him tea whenever you can because your love language is most definitely service

You suck at croquet but that’s an excuse for Riddle to do the typical Teaching You How To Play Golf With a Small Heaping of Romantic TensionTM

You both are oblivious to what this looks like but Cater is snapping pictures left and right

He likes to dress you in formal Heartslaybul attire because you just match so well with it

A lot of dates are picnics in the rose maze because he knows how much picnics mean to you in you’re family experience

With the hedgehogs ofc

Also likes playing catch with you, he likes how happy it makes you

Carry him bridal style while running full speed is 👌

He’s beet red tho

🦁Leona Kingscholar🦁

The vibe here is old married couple

I don’t know why but it is

I think you guys would get to know each other through spelldrive practice

You show up since it’s probably to track and field you can get and you’re a bit competitive

Leona’s jaw is nearly on the ground when he sees a (presumed) human with essentially no special traits run fucking CIRCLES around the entire class

At one point to really test you they probably put you against the entire team

You won

And boy that is HOT

Forget herbivore you’ve been upgraded to LIONESS

Yes ik you’re a guy but gendered terms are outdated take it up with Vil see what happens

He attempts to court you and you would definitely pick it up quickly it’s more the disbelief that he would want to

Once you accept it’s like those dog/cat relationships you see on google images

Exhibit A

He’s a lazy lion with a hyperactive wolf bf

Perfection

If you sleep he flops on top of you

If he sleeps you physically drag him out of bed to play a game or smthg

Lots of play fighting but not very frequently

He finds entertainment in throwing a frisbee a watching you catch it

🐺Jack Howl🐺

Did you know that when wolves mate they mate for life?

That's the vibe here

There may be plenty of other students with a wolf heritage at school but there's just something different about you

He's sort of intrigued by your mysterious aura and wants to get to know you better but he's kind of embarrassed to

If he ever sees you running he would definitely want to ask you to race

You're the only person in school who could beat him and that's when he knows he would want to pursue something more with you

Just about everyone in school knows of your wolf heritage even though you try to hide it, most people didn't even know that you were hiding it

It’s kind of a breath of fresh air when you realize you don’t have to hide yourself since people just. Don’t care

Unlike EAH, wolf hybrids are very common in Twisted Wonderland meaning you’re just what you wanted to be, normal

And even though you would love whoever you end up with there’s something special about being with specifically a wolf hybrid partner because they understand the small and the big things that come with being part wolf

For instance, play fighting

Lets just say play fighting is a TIME for anyone involved

You throw Jack across the room and he rushes back with the same fervor

Everyone evacuates the area since they think it’s an intense lover’s quarrel but you both are just discussing what you want for lunch

Idk if wolves hunt for each other but let’s say you guys do

By that I mean you both try to be at the front of the cafeteria line to get whatever the other wants

It’s cute puppy love :)

🍩Ruggie Bucchi🍩

You and Jack are twins he swears

If you and him are any ounce of close you’d be adamant on helping him with his errands

No matter how much he tries to deny it he has a soft spot for trusting underclassman

They’re just too nice for a place like Savanclaw even if they are physically strong

He would probably fall for you if you get him a donut with some line like “I saw this and though of you/thought you might want it”

He’s a simple man, feed him, don’t be a dick, and you’re in

There’s less of those types of people here than one would think

Fun fact hyenas are scientifically faster than wolves

Meaning he could definitely match up with you in a race

But your reflexes and physical strength has him all 😳

Strong but caring people are definitely his type

Especially when you say “How about you take a nap while I take care of the rest of your jobs?”

He will implode and ask you to marry him

You just kiss him and run off to finish his duties

He can and will think about that moment the rest of his life

Since I can’t imagine either of you are very rich there’s a lot of DIY dates that you guys put together

DIY as in low budget/home activities

But any time spent with you is time well spent for him

Since he probably does Leona’s homework and is an upperclassman himself he would give you all the answers to everything and more dw

🐙Azul Ashengrotto🐙

Definitely DEFINITELY tried to bank on your physical prowess

I think at first you guys wouldn’t like each other because Azul sees you as naive while you see him as someone who takes advantage of others

It’s not until after his overblot and explanation of his background that you two can really see eye to eye

He’s one of the few people that relates with pretty much all of your own insecurities

Bullied for looks/heritage? Check

Came to hate yourself? Check

Forced to hide who you really are? Check

NRC has been the saving grace for both of you

After his overblot you visit the lounge often which gives him more courage to actually talk to you

You both are equally embarrassed trying to flirt/initiate anything

It’s probably the tweels that officially got you together

You both are each other’s #1 support

He teaches you how to swim instead of just doggy paddling and you give him some tips on how to up his grades in PE

After some time you guys just kind of know each other like the backs of your hands so you both know what triggers each other’s insecurities + the best way to deal with it

You enjoy helping him at the Monstro Lounge and he just likes you being there

I’m sure there’s plenty of people attempting to hit on you and if that happens they’re either banned or are now required to work for free

Azul may not do many contracts now but one of the few he always has people sign when they walk in specifies that customers do not hit on workers unless in a romantic relationship

He acts like he did it for everyone but he truly did it just for you

I think he would open up an arm wrestling game with you against any challenger

If you win (which you always do because you’re strong asf) you get paid

Business man octopus and his trustworthy puppy bf❤️

🥳Kalim Al-Asim🥳

You’re someone who likes to help others where you can which includes party planning

That’s something Kalim loves about you, you’re always eager to help

You also love how kind and giving he is

He may be genuinely naive but you think he deserves to see the best in others

That doesn’t mean you’re not protective of him against anyone who may wanna take advantage

This includes Jamil

Tbh I may be a little biased because I think there are many ways that Jamil deserved to have the anger he did and you feel the same way, but that doesn’t mean you liked it

You were one of the first to pick up on his hatred towards Kalim and actively tried to protect him from it

After the whole overblot incident (which you definitely saw coming) you sympathize with Jamil a little and try to have Kalim understand his position

You still give Jamil the stink eye if he gives you reason to be war of him

But back to fluffier hc

He shows up to any spelldrive practice of yours he can and be the loudest when cheering you on with no embarrassment

At spell drive tournaments you’re probably on his team in which case he’s constantly flirting with you during the match

Y’all would’ve lost if it wasn’t for your physical prowess

If you’re not on his team he still flirts but he has a new vigor when matched against you

There’s something homoerotic about being put against your bf in a game

Magic carpet ride picnics😳

🦚Vil Schoenheit🦚

Anyone from EAH automatically has a sense for fashion

Even though you do when it comes to important events that doesn’t entirely apply to everday life

It’s less about having lower fashion sense and more about the fact that you two just don’t share the same views on self-care and beauty

In fact he really likes your fashion, it fits you very well

But you’re rugged with style while Vil’s entire vibe is just overall regal

Meaning lots of skin care tips since you have a habit of playing in the woods

This is giving very much beauty and the beast and I’m kind of living for it

You’re like his loyal guard dog and he adores you and spoils you very much

Rook finds you incredibly interesting and studies you as though he has intention to hunt you

You hide behind Vil anytime he’s around like this

Lots of ear scratches and exercise together

The rivalry between Vil and Neige is one you both don’t understand but feel all too familiar with

Any time he feels his insecurities arise against Neige you probably give him a pep talk about Royals and Rebels and how he can choose his own destiny

It cheers him up :)

He thinks it’s just a bunch of metaphors but when he hears this is genuinely about your own world he’s lowkey interested

👾Idia Shroud👾

You guys are both loners so you probably met while you were each wandering the halls alone

His hair is what gets your attention

You’re used to fire magic in school but this feels like another level

With you being a loner he feels like you both have an unspoken bond, which only gets stronger when he work up the courage to ask you to play a game with him

Anything that has to do with hand eye coordination you’d be very skilled at but besides that you’re probably gonna need some help

I don’t see you as being the big gamer type at least not back at EAH

Minecraft picnics❤️

Being one who’s not very internet savvy he shows you cool pieces of tech he’s made and the way your eyes shine in interest make him feel on top of the world

Since he has long hair I have no doubt he’s had to learn how to braid his hair at some point

So he would idly braid your hair as affection and maybe decorate with hair clips n stuff

Shows up to all your spell-drive practices

In return you enthusiastically dance with him to the bands he likes

I think you would give him piggyback rides that would be so funny

🐉Malleus Draconia🐉

Malleus🤝Cerise

Being Loners

For him his fae heritage is no secret but it’s still feared, but the reason your heritage is hidden in the first place is BECAUSE people would fear it

Of course things are different for you at NRC but your previous emotional scars and fear of your background being revealed doesn’t necessarily go away

Like Idia this makes you feel like you both have some sort of unspoken bond

It never really goes anywhere until he starts randomly showing up at Ramshackle

Being the considerate person you are you invite him in because it’s probably cold as heck out there

There’s a lot of talking that goes on that night. 3AM does that to people

They then become a sort of ritualistic thing for you two

This leads to a lot more bonding between you two during school hours

You guys partner up for projects, help each other with studying, you invite him to a lot of your more social stuff/clubs, it’s nice

When you’re not at spell drive you’re with him at his gargoyle research club

Briar Valley picnics

“I know someone named Briar, funny”

“Wow what a coincidence :D”

Piggyback rides are also common here

You like to randomly bite his ears, he’s confused but in return he noms your wolf ears

It’s a battle now

Idk what else to put so here are some dog/lizard pics

#male reader #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #idia shroud #idia x yuu #kalim al asim #kalim x male reader #malleus x yuu #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #leona x yuu #jack howl #jack x yuu #ruggie bucchi #ruggie x yuu #azul ashengrotto #azul x yuu #vil schoenheit #vil x yuu #ever after high #cerise hood #eah cerise

[getoed5725]

Kenjaku's poem in jjk206

Spoilers for jjk206 i think

This is not an analysis lol, I made the rant on TT regarding Kenjaku's poem in jjk206, this panel in particular:

I'm not sure if someone will analyze it later but im putting it here in case my tweets got washed away.

A lot got lost in translation, but this quote of him is written like a short poem in the original text.

(Please don't take this as it is, because I can only do so much research on my own, it might not be entirely accurate.)

>>>

courtsey of Trùng Roi (FB), I can understand the full meaning of it before it gets translated in English.

If you understand Vietnamese (or Japanese, Chinese) you'll see how this quote sounds so glorious and powerful in those languages in comparison to English. I think the one above is fan translation? The jist is there, but there are a lot to break down from this "poem".

In Vietnamese it's like this:

"Nghìn năm không ngừng (1)

Long tranh hổ đấu (2)

Hợp tung liên hoành (3)

Với cái thế giới nguyền rủa này" (4)

Because Vietnamese can directly translate Chinese to the exact character, the syllables from both language might be more similar than Japanese. The first 3 sentences have 4 syllables, which can be a base for 4-character poems in our languages (this is also affected by the translator's skills of word selection, so thanks Trùng Roi again for this!!)

Direct translation:

(1) A thousand years, non-stop

(2) Clashing between dragons ("long") and tigers ("hổ")

(3) [I can't directly translate this, I will note this later but it does have to do with wars and alliances]

(4) In this world full of curses

For (2), the "clashing between dragons and tigers" can simply means "the fight (or tug-of-war, in the translation) between the giants", because dragons and tigers have long been the image of the strongest animals in the legends. Also, when I look up the VNese term "Long tranh hổ đấu (2)", this movie "Enter the Dragon (龍爭虎鬥/Lóng Zhēng Hǔ Dòu)" comes up in the results (because that is exactly its title in VNese):

Which might be a coincident or not when Yuki (and by extension, Todo) has had her poses taking references from Bruce Lee, so this is really fascinating. (and see the 3rd character is also within Itadori's name too) I won't be surprised if Gege took the poem's references here, he seems to like Bruce Lee.

The (3) sentence is particularly difficult to explain. In the translation, it is "the capricious alliances and betrayals" but the original stems from 2 opposing war tactics by the ancient Chinese during the Warring States (475 - 221 BC).

"Hợp tung liên hoành" is a combination of 2 tactics "hợp tung" (合縱/hezong) for the vertical north-south alliance and "liên hoành"(連橫/lianheng) for the horizontal east-west alliance (please note that Japanese and Chinese characters might be slightly different in writing). The hezong alliance is opposed to Qin state, and the lianheng alliance is an ally of Qin state. I'm not going to go further into history but basically, the sentence amplifies what Kenjaku has gone through in the past thousands years ago, where they experienced the brutal wars, saw alliances being made, saw sides opposing and betrayals happening, saw the states got broken down and the heavy process of it, and knowing how The Warring States happened, it's much much more jarring than the current fight they're having. They've "lived through" such periods, showing the extensions of their intellect and experience in comparison to Tengen. Basically, this is some kind of advanced mockery and show off that Tengen can never be on his level, but Kenjaku lives up to it tbh lol.

Anyways! those are just my thoughts because I really like that "poem" and it sounds way heavier than the English translation. JJK has long been said to be a difficult work to understand even by the Japanese readers because of his complicated choice of words, so I'm a bit sad a lot of it gets lost in translation. Gege obviously does a lot of research on plenty of references in order to write this up, so I hope more people are aware of his efforts.

#spoiler #i think? #jjk206 #kenjaku #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gege akutami #lost in translation #people need to know how much im impressed with gege's research! #personal

[ambyandony]

Monster AU - Colloquialisms [P1 A]

[P1 side note A: why can't I just call a vampire a vampire]

Why not just call a vampire a vampire?

I mean, you can, but that can contribute to a prevalent (if seemingly innocuous) issue that puts you, dear (or not dear) reader, at risk - the unfortunate consequences of generalisation, miscategorisation, and the ever-prominent implications of... colloquialisms.

Now, I already touched upon this in the main post and pretty much explained why it matters, but I want to go a little more in-depth as to how there are potential downsides to the lack of taxonomical classification.

A colloquialism is, as defined by Oxford Languages, "a word or phrase that is not formal or literary, typically one used in ordinary or familiar conversation." In other words, a word is a colloquialism when it is an informal variation of a word that would be used in more formal contexts.

For example, the way that humans refer to all creatures in the genus Vulpes as 'foxes', which are a separate genus from dogs, but the term 'canine' is used for both the subfamily Caninae and as a word simply referring to dogs - which can lead to the confusion that dogs and foxes are, loosely, 'the same thing'.

There's also, similarly, the way humans call Ailurus fulgens 'red panda' and Ailuropoda melanoleuca the 'giant panda' although the two are not evolutionarily close as the giant panda is considered a bear and the red panda is not a bear. Referring to both the giant and red panda as 'panda' is likely to confuse people into thinking that they're both panda bears (as the bear is a bit more familiar on a broader scale) when they're not.

There are issues here that mirror the problems that only using colloquialisms brings (which is why I'm adamant about at least trying to classify and distinguish as pretty much the only cryptotaxonomist I happen to be aware of).

What I'm saying is that when colloquialisms are used to generalise (and then, conversely, generalised terms are applied and associated with one individual of the category), important nuance can be lost. This is especially true and important to acknowledge when it comes to dealing with cryptians (monster is a colloquialism, too, and a pretty derogatory one at that merely because of how it’s negatively used, but it’s the most common way to refer to them), especially because it then concerns a category of powerful creatures not comprehensively understood (as cryptoscience is considered pseudoscience).

If you don't quite understand, allow me to illustrate with an example:

"Vampire" is a colloquialism for a group encompassing sanguisuges, a plethora of distinctly different blood-drinking creatures.

Pop culture has done a real bang-up job of conjuring up an image of what a “vampire” is to people, particularly in the West. Pop culture would have you believe that a cryptian with fangs that drinks blood is a vampire, weak to garlic, sunlight, and crosses.

Now go ahead and try that with Risotto Nero, an Italian, and see how well that works out for you. (Hint: IT WILL NOT WORK OUT WELL!!! (I'D ADVISE USING A COMPASS!! OR BETTER YET MAYBE JUST DONT GET IN A FIGHT WITH THE MAN!! NOT GETTING IN FIGHTS WITH ASSASSINS IS ALSO AN OPTION!!!!!!) Do NOT rely on pop culture to elucidate to you the weaknesses of a species!!!! EVER!!!!)

Vampires are called different things in different places because, by and large, there are so many different kinds of vampires and the different names generally refer to different kinds. They have different abilities, different weaknesses, different existences.

Pop cultural depictions will probably have you colloquialising lycanthropes as 'werewolves', thus making the assumption that all lycanthropes come out in the full moon and revert in the morning, and that the big wolf werewolves are just the same as the humanoid ones. THEY'RE NOT. FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK NOT ALL LYCANTHROPES ARE WEREWOLVES! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! "WEREWOLF" AND "LYCAN" ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE! They're so fucking different!!!!

It is SO important to make the distinction so that YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH! THAT'S why you don't just call a sanguisuge a vampire!

Just to elaborate on one example of many; because of the generalisation issue, while there are werewolves (and lycans!) who ONLY change by the full moon and revert by daybreak, people (believers, usually ones who are not monster-friendly) apply this logic to all lycanthropes and go out on nights that aren't the full moon like 'i'm not gonna run into a werewolf it's not the full moon' WRONG, SUCKER!!! Some werewolves turn EVERY NIGHT! And a lot of lycans DON'T HAVE EXCLUSIVELY MOON-BASED TRANSFORMATION!!! The Full Moon is just the only night that ALL ZOOANTHROPES, including both lycans and werewolves, WILL ALWAYS TRANSFORM! And it's ALSO when they're more active and aggressive which is why the public perception assumes werewolves turn on the full moon and always become aggressive in lycanthropic form! Because the Full Moon is when most lycanthrope attacks HAPPEN! Because it's the only GUARANTEED SHIFT TRIGGER! AND THE MOST LIKELY CONDITIONS TO INDUCE LUNACY! (more on lunacy and moonsickness later when I divert from the taxonomy and document other stuff too.)

(And please don't EVER think that wolfsbane will keep you safe from lycanthropes!!!! Wolfsbane is fucking poisonous, btw, and you can absorb it through the skin and fucking die, so I would recommend just staying away from it! IT DOESN'T EVEN REPEL LYCANTHROPES. IT'S MORE LIKELY TO SEND THEM INTO A FRENZY. It is SO fucking dangerous!!!!)

Monster Taxonomy Page 1:

Monster Taxonomy Page 2:

You can always ask me questions about my research and notes! <3 Send me an ask <3

#enthused cryptotaxonomist moments #golden wind #vento aureo #jjba #jjba vento aureo #monster au #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba monster au #jojo au #jjba au #lycanthropy #monster au lore #monster taxonomy #asks open

[cursmudgeon]

This is so crazy to me because that is like the one place where you just objectively can't put ai. It wouldn't work. There's no way to make it work. Like fuck them for trying to put it anywhere in the pipeline at all but storyboards are the last place you would ever want it. I'm a firm believer that no matter where you put AI tech in art it's at best going to give you something mediocre and difficult to work with. It's just too much of a black box with too few direct controls. But there are some applications where I can at least see the argument. Background painting for animation is an amazing and complex art form but I can understand how you could use AI to get something mediocre but serviceable by generating a full render based on a sketch. Inbetweening is tedious and while I'm sure AI wouldn't hold a candle to a human for subtle acting I can see where someday you might be able to create a better version of auto-tweening that could handle more complex timing. Hell, clean up and coloring are both slow fiddly tedious processes that would make sense to cut corners on. Again I think cutting any of those jobs is a lazy and poorly thought out idea that you'd only pull if you're creatively bankrupt and only in it for the money but I can see how it would actually save money while still actually making something that resembles a show you could watch. But storyboarding is the one thing that this kind of statistical model will never be able to do. Statistical learning models cannot comprehend things, they don't know what a story is. They can't even tell a knock knock joke let alone a compelling story because they have no way of remembering the events that have happened in the story already or understanding that the pixels and words that they are assembling even relate to the concept of an event. They mash phrases and colors into something that vaguely resembles other stuff that they've been told contains keywords. That's it.

But you expect me to believe you're going to get one to understand enough film language to tell a compelling story over a thousand separate images while consistently keeping the characters believably in the same space and recognizable? And it's gonna do that faster than a person doing thirty second sketches? Nah. I don't buy it.

The amount of bullshit you have to do to convince the black box to put the correct character on the left side of the screen facing the right direction in one image would already be more work than doing rough thumbnails of the whole scene. There is so much specific problem solving that has to go into making a storyboard. We have a hundred years of highly specific cultural baggage that defines how we interpret films. No generative statistical training model will ever be able to do that because they are just not remotely capable of understanding what they're making. They aren't and can't be conscious entities with the ability to interpret meaning, no matter how many objects they can recognize or words they can predict would be likely to follow other words. At best you'll wind up with a jumble of blobs that vaguely resemble the compositions of other films thrown together in an order that makes no sense and some poor worker who you've demoted to a revisionist position will have to sort through them and try to turn them into something that makes any sense and it's going to be slower and worse than if you'd just paid someone to do it right the first time.

If this is true and there are executives who think this is going to happen, they're gonna have a bad wakeup call when they realize their expensive machines aren't capable of more than the visual equivalent of word salad.

[ioannemos]

Now you already know I need to hear about the SGA fic on your WIP list

And silence, like darkness, can be kind; it, too, is a language. Hanif Kureishi

i'm pretty sure this one was something of a response to the (understandable) cop-out ending of tao of rodney. obvs it's a tv show, they don't wanna change things permanently like that, but it's a common frustration for me. static characterization annoys me and it's especially egregious in sga imo, esp rodney's. ANYWAY

the basic idea is that rodney gets whammied by a trap set for the ancients and there is no back-to-normal. bc he has the artificial ancient gene, it doesn't kill him, but only just. he's now operating at speeds unknown to man or ancient, which means he can't type or even speak fast enough to keep up with his thoughts and his body is constantly on the verge of straight-up shutting down

eventually he finds (or maybe makes? i haven't gotten that far) a room in atlantis that like... displays his thoughts, i guess? like they get projected into the air so other people can see them. but it also means that he can basically speak for atlantis, showing other people where there are problems or even just minor issues, explain rooms they didn't know the reason for, search the database in seconds for what they need and not just what they're asking for... the image i have of this story is john coming to visit rodney in that room. description below the cut bc it uhhhhh it got really long

john comes in with two trays of food. the room is about two stories high with no windows, only one door, and relatively dim lighting. there's a mattress and a pillow shoved against a wall, a blanket half-on and half-off it. there are also a few chairs around a small folding table. rodney is standing in the middle of the room in scrubs, barefoot and a little scruffy, attached to an iv and a few other kinds of monitoring equipment and looking at nothing in particular, lips moving silently. hovering in the air like holograms are things like a diagram of a wraith ship, a full 3d model of atlantis, and several 'windows' of scrolling text (both words and math). there are a few other people in the room in little clusters, like zelenka and another scientist taking notes near one of the math windows and muttering to each other, a soldier quietly talking to someone while looking at a blinking light on the 3d model, and two members of the medical staff sitting at the table just watching the monitoring equipment

everyone looks over when the door opens except for zelenka. the soldier nods respectfully and leaves the room; the other scientist nudges zelenka, who looks up with the expression of someone who is definitely seeing the room around them in Math-O-Vision and has to blink a few times to adjust to reality. they also leave, tho john stops zelenka on the way out to ask how it's going. zelenka is vague but positive, clearly still in Math World

john goes over to the medical staff and asks them how it's going. they talk about blood pressure and electrolytes and eye the food trays but don't comment on them. john nods and just keeps standing there, waiting for them to fold; one of them sighs and rolls her eyes and says "c'mon" and both of them leave, pointedly leaving one of their pads on the table

john sets down the trays, sits in one of the chairs, and starts to eat. a minute later rodney sits down across from him and also starts to eat, tho it's just automatic. he's staring into the middle distance over john's shoulder, occasionally tilting his head or narrowing his eyes, a finger flicking or shoulder twitching

john starts talking about the recent trip he went on with tayla and ronon, commenting on how the scientist they took along behaved and the likelihood of them coming next time. rodney doesn't noticeably respond to anything he says and eventually john stops trying to fill the silence, tho he clearly finds it oppressive

rodney clears his tray and stands up and leaves the table, almost robotic, returning to the exact spot where he was standing before. john picks at what's left on his own tray, then gives up and stacks them and stands with a sigh, about to leave

a new hologram pops up, a 'window' showing a room with a guitar and a grand piano. rodney walks into frame and sits at the piano, hands hovering over the keys while he looks expectantly at the guitar leaning against a chair. he stays there for a long time, motionless, then puts his hands in his lap. then rodney looks to the 'camera', right at john, then to the guitar, then back at john, asking a question without opening his mouth

john tries to smile. "sure, buddy. next time i'll bring the guitar"

in the window, rodney's whole face lights up, and then the window vanishes like it never existed, its space taken over with an exploded-view 3d model of a life-signs detector with one tiny element highlighted and words scrolling past too fast for john to read

just another average lunchtime with the oracle

#thank you #dangerously human #let's talk #ask #asked and answered #writing is hard #my muse is a monster #warning: the scene under the readmore is LONG #(which is what happens when summarizing the scene you've always wanted to write but haven't gotten to yet i suppose) #anyway #ugh #personal #abbie needs a twitter

[quiveringdeer]

Sorry to fan the flames of your baby fever (except no I'm not), but pls consider Reiner giving the baby a bath in one of those little tub sets, being ever so careful not to get soap in their eyes and not even caring when he gets splashed.

😤HOW. 👏🏽 DARE. 👏🏽YOU. 👏🏽 😤

Nah, but this is cute as heck!! And what a lovely image to think of while taking a break from the "First day of the new year back at work + it's a Monday" grind.

Gosh, I really just love the idea of Reiner being a stay at home dad too tho. He would enjoy it soooo much. Just getting to be a kept man and dote on his babies all the time! 😫🥺🧡

He's always soooo careful whenever handling any kiddo as wee babes. I mean, also any age cause he's just a cautious guy due to his size anyway, but the DELICACY with which he holds and interacts with lil babies is the most heartwarming, cavity inducing scene to watch!

And after washing them up in that tiny lil tub, and getting them in their diaper, he cradles them close as he opens up their dresser or closet and talks to them in such a kind voice, asking them what they want to wear for the day!

And while it's a very gentle voice, he tries not to talk in "baby talk" because this man read sooooo many books in preparation for his first kiddo. (He's determined to do everything he can to be the best dad!) And I'm talkin not just "So You're Gonna Be a Parent" books, but also psychology articles about raising kiddos, and even pedagogy for teaching infants and toddlers! (especially if he gets to be a stay at home dad but you bet your breeches he's making time to read these even with a full time job and being sure to still keep the care and romance alive in y'all's relationship throughout the pregnancy 💞)

He gravitates toward the Montessori teaching approach for when they're really young. Oh! And the whole point of the above tangent, is he read a number of places that by talking to babies and toddlers in a "non-baby speak" voice, helps them better develop their speech skills. Both understanding and talking.

He'd probably even go so far as to incorporate sign language into their life, to better be able to communicate before they have the ability to physically talk.

"Reiner, honey, isn't that a little excessive?"

"But how will they communicate with us until their muscles are strong enough to talk?"

"Oh no babe, I get teaching them sign language to communicate before they can speak. I just don't think we need to plan to take an Advanced ASL course before they get here."

"But it says we'll learn dialogue for conversations that happen around home and school and common phrases associated with talking about the weather and sports. This way I can explain what's happening on the TV when we watch soccer and football."

"Babe, I don't know if they'd be able to understand what's going on regardless of you signing it or not...cause, that's going to be a lot to expect them to learn before they're a year old."

"Oh...right."

"But hey, why don't we put a reminder to take the classes eventually. Knowing ASL will still be a great skill to have. We just don't have to try and learn advanced conversational ASL in the next 6 months. Okay?"

"Yeah. That does make sense. Guess I'm getting ahead of myself. Sorry."

"Hey, hey! No apologies needed Mr.! I love how excited you are and learning all these new things with you. But it'll be okay if we don't know everything or have everything perfect before they get here. I don't even think that's possible with all the time in the world."

"...You're right." You open your arms and wave him to scoot closer for hugs and cuddles. "I just want to make sure they have a good headstart on things. And...that I don't mess things up."

"Reiner, look at me." Two fingers press under his chin to tilt his head up when he doesn't look up. "We're going to make mistakes. No matter how prepared we are. All we can do is love them, and show them we love them. Everything else will work itself out."

"Yeah."

If only speaking words out loud or knowing how logical they were could alleviate anxiety and worry. You press a kiss to his forehead. Then a few more all over his face until he's grinning and retaliating with his own smooching barrage. By the end you're both laughing.

"Love you, Honey Grahams."

The sweet nickname earns you the rich sound of Reiner's renewed laughter. "I love you too."

#reiner braun #reiner x reader #papa rei #reiner headcanons #aot #nat talks aot #aot meta #answered asks #nonnie #i love baby fever!!!! #keep it coming!! #nat writes

[deiarcana]

Embraced by the Cold

Mishaps and misfortune forge a way to yet another.

As if fate taunts her with glee, believing she would break and fall apart beneath their cruelty.

Alas, here Lily sits despite all the obstacles the very universe put through her way, still full of conviction to fulfill her mission and reunite with her friends.

Although, “That’s a good girl.” She doesn’t know how to get out of this one specific situation she has placed herself into while never imagining she would find herself in the first place.

Despite so, the outside world’s image is precise in her mind’s eye that opens after the twins blindfold her.

Their touch shapes her understanding of reality, making her shiver with each brush of their fingers.

Even under the covers of her clothing, she can still feel them at every inch of her body, forcing her to let out a stifled moan tinged with fear, trying her best not to let go of her mission.

And yet, “Hush.” As if reading her mind, “It’s okay.” A calming voice similar to the first whisper to her ear before nibbling it gently.

Trying to fight back, Lily raises her hand to reach her attacker’s hair. Yet, instead of pulling the man away, Lily rests her hand there, caressing the hair as the owner of it continues his way downward.

The nibbling is on her neck now, while a hand is fondly grasping at her chest. It massages it with love and great care that causes her to release another moan.

Finally seeing an opening, the other twin steals Lily’s moan and breath. At the same time, his hand is busy traveling upward from her thigh, pulling the dress’ skirt with it until it stops at her private area.

There, the hand makes its presence known with its own movement. Clear, deliberate, and undoubtedly being made with knowledge and expertise.

How the twins have procured such information is above Lily.

Lily wasn’t even sure if she even cared about any kind of information at the present moment.

Not about the magical world, nor about the mission.

All there is, is this intimacy.

The warmth on her lips as her tongue dances with her partner’s, the excitement she felt on their trousers, the passion.

All of it melted her, excited her.

Lily can no longer help herself.

Among the pleasure, she can only moan to her partner’s mouth as every inch of her is covered in fluid, every single part of it beside...

Cutting off her thought, “Alright, it’s good enough, it seems ....” Both twins pulled away from her without warning, “... Indeed.” Causing her to suddenly feel lonely and in need, wanting more.

But before she can protest, two fingers enter her mouth, warm and covered in a slime-like substance, giving her an impulse to lick it clean without a word.

Watching that, the twins freeze for a moment.

They try to contain the excessive primal force rising in their chest as they watch this young woman take hold of White’s hand and obediently wash its fingers.

They failed.

Snow snatches Lily away with great haste, forcing a yelp out of the Sage and his twin as their body falls onto each other above the wide bed.

Content with Lily on top of him, “S ... Snow? ... White?” Snow let the moment pass in silence for a single breath before answering: “I am here, My beloved.” With a warm tinge.

His voice is soothing as one of his hand open his zipper to let out his desire while the other opens a way into Lily’s body.

Realizing Snow’s plan, “Damn you ....” White climbs into the bed and gets into position while cursing White under his breath.

Feeling the two twins were now sandwiching her, Lily perked up and became more aware and sensitive as two hands pushed her up.

Alongside those hands, another two pulled her in the same direction, placing her on all four, filled with anticipation.

Her breath labored now. The scene in her head is in the middle of happening. However, in reality: the twins wait still, watching her expression and body language become increasingly agitated and impatient with great interest before, “... ah!” They stab.

Their movement is quick, but more than that: “Why are ... ah!” They attack the exact same gate.

Forcing Lily to her limit, “Please ...!” Pushing her to the edge, “You’re... ah!” Molding her in their hands, “... killing me!” As they kiss, caress, fondle, pinch, and touch.

There’s no stopping them, no pause in their tempo nor in their activity as time passes, and Lily feels like her moan has filled the space for all eternity.

In fact, Snow White feels like their effort was not enough.

They wanted to break their beloved, to own this powerful little thing by showing her all they have.

So, from the floor, tentacles rise and make their way into the bed. It reached for Lily and grasped her with its slimy arms.

It explores and touches every place the twin didn’t take hold of at that moment, leaving a red sucker mark as it moves on from one part of the skin to another.

This insanity should’ve disgusted Lily; it should’ve caused her to regret accepting their invitation to spend the night together.

And yet, “I am ...!” All she could feel was the building climax, “I ...!” Burning her insides with desperation, forcing her to move her hips.

Expecting this development, the two stopped and spoke, “Go on.” One with a firm squeeze on her behind, “Let it all out with us.” And the other with a smile and a gentle kiss, containing all the euphoria the squeeze has caused.

The three of them explode into each other, feeling the fluids mingle freely while some escape, then slowly succumb in bliss.

Yet, the twins did not sleep.

Still sandwiching their tired partner, both touch her still, tracing their fingers on her curves with love and combing her hair with their own hand with eyes of longing.

Quietly, “You’re a naughty one.” the cold passes their judgment, “An obedient one.” Whispering as the color does the same.

Before finally, ““A good thing.”” They reach the same conclusion as they embrace Lily, covering her in White and Snow to protect her from the winter’s cold.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #fiction #writing

[illiteratethekid]

I had to cataloge this. reddit post from r/offmychest

u/BigBingus1337

I (27F) have been struggling with an extremely disgusting problem for 14 years, and I need help.

nsfw

(CW)

Content warning:

Strong depiction of bodily fluids (excrement, urine)

Suicide attempts

Depression

Physical/Sexual/Emotional Abuse

Sexual discussion

Self harm

Just a lot of awful stuff

(CW)

Please be warned, this is an extremely gross, explicit, and hard to handle post. I'm not making this up. This isn't a joke. I'm in a lot of pain. I've tried a lot and I don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless, ashamed, disgusted, and sub-human.

It's only now after 14 years of this cycle that I've become so, *so* tired of hiding my shame that I can talk about it publicly and reach out for more help, or at least get this off my chest.

If I seem distant or use wack-ass language, it's because I've lived this way for too long to get hung up on making any of this fit "acceptable" language.

It's impossible.

I'm also well aware that this might get memed into oblivion, shared around like "look at this lmao gross", and laughed at.

I get it. I can sort of see how in a sick, fucked-up kind of way this could be funny from an outside perspective.

Comedy helps people cope, ridiculing others is a maladaptive way of comforting oneself.

What I worry about is people not reading this with empathy or a desire to understand, and would rather trash on me and reinforce the hatred I already have for myself and my behaviors.

So just fuckin... be cool.

Please.

For the past 14 years, I haven't been able to stop fingering my ass, defacating on towels/toiletpaper and urinating in bottles/towels/tp/etc.

It has caused me to live in unsanitary, isolating, shameful, and disgusting conditions.

It has cost me my health, happiness, safety, relationships, living situations, and on several occasions, it's caused me to attempt suicide.

I am scared of being somehow shamed more than I shame myself by posting this. I've sought professional help, and it hasn't worked regardless of if its my fault or the help.

About me:

I'm 27, I have a decent job, a good group of friends, recent-ish-ly single, handful of great and awful partners, etc.

I'm trans, she/her. (Please don't be weird. I struggled with this problem well before I had any inkling of gender stuff. That's not how it works)

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, and Clinical Depression.

I have taken pretty standard adhd medication for the last 8 years

I have tried 5 different SSRIs with at best, no effect, and at worst, full blown serotonin syndrome, mild psychosis, and seizures.

Over the years, I've seen 4 therapists for a couple years at a time.

All of which were actually wonderful help for understanding and coping with trauma, depression, ADHD, ASD, and sexual/physical/emotional abuse.

I haven't been able to mend this specific problem, even with their help.

The formatting of this post is really choppy mainly because it's comprised of notes I've taken on this issue in notepad++

Some of it might seem detached or "clinical" because of this.

I use these notes to help analyze the behaviors that are happening and the different emotions and motivators at play.

I have always struggled on-and-off with keeping my personal spaces clean due to whatever cocktail of adhd, depression, asd, whatever.

Trash, rotting food, disorganization, dirty bed, etc.

I'd say it would be 70% as bad as a typical "neckbeard-nest" image you would see.

Never piles so high I couldn't see or leave my space, but, certainly enough to be playing hop-scotch to get around.

Both the depression messes and the defecating problem have gone through cycles of getting slightly better, getting much worse, better again ,etc.

Potential reasons for being Motivated/compelled/habitual fingering my ass for a combination of 2 reasons:

ASD Stimming/comfort/sexual stimulation from prostate when feeling... *something*

Attempts to identify that something lead to maybe these?

- Potentially feeling bored/understimulated

- An emptiness emotionally

2. ASD Sensory issues around feeling unclean after shitting, e.g. still feeling shit inside me and disgust/frustration with how that interferes with #1?

Earliest possible memory/origin of behavior:

Exploring my body/masturbating with anal stimulation around age 12-13.

As with anyone who's done anal, "shit happens", especially when you don't know about cleaning yourself out.

I would end up coming into contact with shit, not knowing what to do, and just wiping it on toilet paper or towels.

I would hide the evidence because I was ashamed and embarrassed.

An unfortunate part of this habit is that fingering your ass causes a feeling of need to urinate.

Whenever I finger my ass, I urinate into toilet paper, a bottle, a container.

This affects my living space by making it unsanitary, extremely unpleasant, and isolating.

This leads to even more unsanitary conditions, more avoidance, procrastination, and shame.

The unsanitary conditions cause a rolling chain of dependency/vicious cycle

For example:

- An area gets gross or unpleasant (typically the bathroom first)

- That area is now more difficult to reach both physically and emotionally

- Procrastination/avoidance/shame/refusal to clean the area

- I am unable to use that area, leading to shitting and pissing in a pile elsewhere

- Causing more spread out messes

- repeat until harsh physical/social consequences or suicidality take hold

- then clean everything top to bottom and try to not get in the cycle again

I always end up back in the cycle.

The anxiety & helplessness around my struggles with this make it impossible to have anyone over

I am too ashamed to ask for help, or accept it when offered.

Friends know I'm depressed and struggle with keeping my spaces clean, but I never tell them the full story. Usually a half-truth.

I often tell my friends they can't come over because "my place is like a wreck, like unsanitary bad".

Which isn't *exactly* wrong, but isn't representative of how bad things actually are.

I feel like the 2 people in my life I've told the real, full details of this to, don't actually understand how bad it really is. They know I've had a *history* of issues with it.

I can't bring myself to tell them that its something I'm still struggling with *now*

The above is driven by shame.

I've done property damage. I've let wet piss soaked towels sit for weeks on beautiful wooden floors, bleaching them and stripping them of their varnish.

I've ruined and thrown out dozens of towels, sheets, carpets.

I've had to cut dried shit out of my own clothing or throw them away.

I've had to throw away wonderful gifts loving family and friends have given me because they were destroyed when I knocked over a months old piss bottle.

I had to steam clean my own shit stains out of carpet when moving out of an old apartment.

I remember sitting there, breaking down at seeing the damage I've caused.

I was so overwhelmed by my own disgust and hatred for my existence.

I got my handgun, put a magazine in, and put it in my mouth, and without a second of hesitation, pulled the trigger.

It sounds kinda dramatic, but I don't remember if I forgot to rack the slide on purpose or by mistake.

Somehow I'm glad I didn't, but there are many times I have regretted not doing it.

When I was in my teens my parents would discover/"catch" me living this way a couple times.

My parents did not handle finding out in a safe or loving way.

Shocker, I know.

They screamed at me that I'll lose all my housing opportunities, friends, and safety net if someone finds out.

And they aren't wrong about the consequences, but all they did was punish me, beat me, strip me of my privacy by removing my door from it's hinges, my healthy hobbies, shame me, and held no space for understanding or help.

They called it a fetish.

It was not.

However in the past year I've explored scat videos. I don't even like it. It's like a sick desperation for understanding what's wrong with me.

I've never in my 14 year history enjoyed living in my own filth.

I think my short exploration of scat as a porn category was just coping with trauma and uncertainty through a sexual lens.

Just fantasizing that I could convince myself its as simple as a fetish or desire, and because of that, it would be okay.

It's not.

It's not a fetish.

I don't enjoy this. I hate this.

This is extremely debilitating, and I don't deserve to go through this, but I can't seem to find a way to stop.

I feel deep shame and unsafety in regards to people finding out, telling them, or anyone helping because they won't understand.

It's hard to put into words how impossible it feels to break this habit.

It feels like when someone tells you the only way to get better is to "love yourself".

Like... what the fuck does that even mean? How? How can you do that if you don't value your own love? Monopoly money has more value than that.

Therapy has helped me cope with those nagging feelings for things like depression, abuse, self-worth, etc.

But changing this behavior feels as impossible as changing the laws of physics.

How do you sit with yourself, the 14th year of trying to outwit your own habits that try to kill you, remove you from society, and ruin everything you love, and say "Well this attempt it's gonna work!" and feel any sort of actual hope? Sure it's writing a fatalistic narrative for myself, and sure it sounds like I've resigned myself to this. What the fuck do I do?

The really sad thing is that I'm not the only one out there who struggles with this weird compulsive fingering and defecation issue.

A quick google search of the behavior leads to a couple forums/quora-like sites of people talking about this behavior and how they can't stop and don't know what it is.

They're desperately trying to find a reason or help. As far as I can tell, they never do.

So its like... what the hell are my chances if dozens of other people are struggling too?

I know my physical safety might concern people reading this. I'm at a point in therapy where suicide really just isn't on the menu for me anymore. I just want to assure readers that I'm not suicidal. I'm gonna keep living. I can't be certain whether or not I'll be living well.

Edit:

To all of you sending me private messages, saying this is hot, asking me to piss on them, getting turned on by this:

I hope you fucking rot. I really do.

As someone in the kink community, I don't shame others for what they like. But you REALLY think its appropriate to come into my DMs from a post where I detail a behavior that drove me to attempt suicide, and start waving your dick around?

There are no words that describe my sheer contempt for you. Rot.

To everyone else: I really appreciate the support and understanding you have provided. The responses have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of potential new paths to go down. Thank you, and I wish you the same care, kindness, and affirmation of humanity you all have provided to me.

#reddit

[jesncin]

I realized the image I had attached to the "Failure of Asian Lois Lane" essay of Vicki Vale's concept art expired (because of discord shenanigans) so here it is again as its own post (and I'll update the essay's link to go to this post instead). Discussion under the cut for why I think this is distasteful and racist.

So some people don't understand what I mean when I say I consider this concept art racist. The description to Vicki Vale's character reads: "40s, FEMALE, INDIAN-AMERICAN OR ASIAN AMERICAN". When people say "Indian American or Asian American" what they're telling you is they consider Indian people a separate category from Asian people. However- Indian people ARE Asian people. Indians are grouped under South Asian people. Therefore they are Asian.

This is a common colorist idea that Asian people are only limited to light-skinned East Asians (Chinese, Japanese, and Korean people)- completely excluding South, Southeast Asian, West, and Central Asians. Here's a terrible comedy bit Ronny Chieng did for the Daily Show displaying that very colorist mindset. Notice how the description for Vicki specifies "Indian" but is vague about what "Asian" means.

I don't know if this concept art is taken out of context, and if there were multiple iterations of what Asian Vicki Vale would look like- but as far as what this image presents, this full body design that ended up making it to final is the only iteration. Are we to believe this design was meant to encompass what "Asian American" and "Indian American" Vicki Vale were supposed to look like? If they decided she was going to be Indian, were they just going to color her with dark skin and call it a day? Are Asians that interchangeable to the crew that they didn't feel the need to design more versions of her? I truly don't know. And it's still possible that this is one page out of context from several concepts. BUT this show already doesn't have a great track record for stylizing ethic features- and it hasn't stopped them from monolith-casting Asian actors for their Asian characters.

I mean look at how they ended up designing a supposed South Asian woman on the show. Livewire/ Leslie Willis is voiced by Zehra Fazal, a South Asian woman. Many people had no idea Livewire is South Asian. I mean she's got blue eyes and blonde-white bleached hair?

It doesn't help that she stood next to this character who is also dark skinned and blonde-haired- so people assumed they were related and therefore assumed Leslie was Black. It's not my place to say, but I have seen some Black critics being critical of how characters like Jimmy were stylized.

Overall this show's artistic direction is a mess when it comes to race. We can't keep looking up the characters' voice actors to get confirmation on their ethnicity (with that logic, Sam Lane is Filipino despite his daughter in-show being Korean)! The character design or story should make that clear for you. If POC representation was simply up for debate or a matter of interpretation, then you're not representing anyone at all.

This is why I think the show is simply not equipped to tackle POC representation but especially Asian characters. If this is the kind of language and art style that is normalized behind the scenes to developing Asian characters, can you see why I'd be suspicious of any future attempts at tackling "more explicit Asian representation"? I don't believe the showrunners are racist. However I wouldn't trust them with representation either.

It wasn't until I wrote that essay that I learned Vicki was "Asian". It wasn't until now as I write this post that I learned both Steve Lombard and Roughhouse are "Asian" (we'll never get specifics, naturally). I knew both characters were voiced by a Chinese actor (Vincent Tong), but I didn't think for once that that translated to the characters he was voicing.

this show feels like a personal attack on me at this point. For the record, I'm not asking for Vicki, Leslie, Steve, or Roughhouse to have storylines informed by their Asian identity. If anything I consider these characters so superfluous to the plot MAWS wants to tell that these guys should be removed all together (the most frustrating of them being Vicki, who's yet another Asian American character who's explicitly xenophobic to Superman). What I am saying is that I should still be able to recognize these characters as Asian!

#ramblings #jesncin talks maws #if u want an asian lois that looks up to an asian reporter as a role model- this is your sign to read Girl Taking Over #maws concept art is that art student who wants to add “poc” in their story but can't answer you when you ask for specifics #what's Vicki's ethnicity? uuuuum Asian??? like geez wow helpful #media criticism #jesncin dc meta

[percontaion-points]

Everlife (Everlife #3) bonus chapter 1 & chapter 1

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Bonus chapter 1

Message Directory MYRIAD: Laborer Sloan Aubuchon: S_A_5/46.15.33 Sir Zhi Chen: Z_C_4/23.43.2 Abrogate Javier Diez: J_D_2/43.3.19 Laborer Killian Flynn: K_F_5/23.53.6 General Hans Schmidt: H_S_3/51.3.6 Laborer Leonard Lockwood: L_L_5/19.36.2 Laborer Dior Nichols: D_N_5/62.4.1 Laborer Victor Prince: V_P_5/20.16.18

I’m not fucking memorizing this, holy fucking shit. 

Get ready. The war is about to take a drastic turn—for our better! 

Might Equals Right! 

General Hans Schmidt

Bonus chapter 1 summary: We open on a group email between all of the Troikian generals. Except that I’m pretty sure that they’d never been actually introduced. I sure as fuck don’t recognise ANY of those names! Anyway, they’re all upset that Ten is the only one who is allowed to pick who to bring back from seconddeath. Mainly because they can’t reach her, and they know that she’s hiding out with Killian somewhere. They make plans to get rid of Killian, but others warn that doing so might further push Ten over the edge. 

Also, they talk about how it’s now mandatory that every Troikian have a talking animal companion. (Animals can talk in the afterlife. It was mentioned as a throw-away line in the middle book, but was never actually relevant.) One of the complains that his companion is a poodle, while another brags that she got a bear. 

Then we have to see Sloan’s desperate email to Killian, begging him to come back and help. But after it was deemed undeliverable, Sloan is kind of yelled at. The general tells her that she has a new teacher, Victor. He’s lost both of his hands during the fight at the end of the second book, but they’ll regrow. But until then, both he and Sloan will be in shells. 

Chapter 1

Myriad claimed Caroline’s spirit Fused with the spirit of a newborn infant the day of her death, but I think they lied. I think all Myriadians wind up in Many Ends, like all Troikans wind up in the Rest. 

If people knew, they might not sign with Myriad. Falsehoods and propagandas keep business booming.

She says this like Troika isn’t full of shitty people doing shitty things, too. 

I’m still on the side of HART. I wish that we’d explored that way more. 

“I doona want ye doin’ something you’ll regret.”

This series should probably be called “Ten does something stupid and immediately regrets it”. 

“You’ve been a spirit all your life.”

So if Killian’s been a spirit his whole life (reportedly he was a stillborn), and he was raised in the afterlife, surrounded by the “gift of language”, why does he have a Scottish accent? Make it make sense. 

My heart stops, stealing my words as a man and woman storm into the cave.

Chapter 1 summary: Ten and Killian are in their special cave in Russia. Ten begins to tell us about the events of the middle book… But mostly this is drowning in purple prose about her love for Killian. I read a review on GR where the person said that they “started to only look for the dialogue after a while”. And three pages into the first chapter, I can understand why. For every line of dialogue, there’s at least half a page of purple prose that adds literally nothing to the plot. If you want to know why this book is over 400 pages long, this is why. 

Anyway, the two of them want to pledge to each other, and they call this “getting married”. So they make their vows to each other, and then they’re kind of blown back by the immense power exchange of it all. 

Ten had been connected to the light grid, which manifested itself inside of her head as an endless hallway with doors that connected to either people, information, or power that she’d stored. Now this hall is filled with shadows too, which obviously come from her new connection to Killian. 

Ten then has a memory of Killian’s time in the orphanage. Being raised up because they thought he might have been a reincarnated general, but then being abandoned when they realised he wasn’t. 

At the end of the chapter, two people show up to the cave. 

#Everlife (Everlife 3) #Everlife series #bookblr #readers of tumblr #book review #scifi #dystopia #ya novels #romance novels #religious imagery

[translationandbetrayals]

Demystifying Evangelion - Part 1: Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995-96)

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/doblaje/images/a/a6/Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_-_Poster.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20220519030722&path-prefix=es

(This is the first of probably three posts talking about the Evangelion franchise. I don’t know when I’ll make the other two, but they’re on their way.)

Throughout the short history of anime, few franchises have sparked more debate and discourse than Hideaki Anno's Neon Genesis Evangelion. One could call it animation's equivalent to Bergman's "Persona", if not in depth of interpretation, then at least in volume of written work discussing it.

Between the heaps of praise, the mountains of outraged criticism, and more than two dozen death threats sent to the show's creator, it's hard to think of many other shows that have caused this much ink—digital or otherwise—to be spilled surrounding it. Rightfully so, as Evangelion stands out as one of the most impactful contributions to the medium. Between the stellar direction, the bleak tone of its story, the all-too relatable characters that live through it, the one-of-a-kind visual design that jumps at you in almost every frame, the soundtrack composed by the now-legendary Shirō Sagisu, an opening that's set the blueprint for a generation to follow it and its... "cryptic" endings, something's bound to catch your eye. It's the kind of media that sticks with you, for better or worse.

You might spend days fuming, coping, and seething about how much you hate the 11th hour turns or spend years mentally spinning your wheels about the journey of its "hero", Shinji Ikari and how that relates to you, otaku fandom, life or all of the above.

In case the overly-long introduction and the last 27 years of discourse didn't clue you in already, Evangelion has garnered a reputation for being "complex", "indescifrable'', and full of interlinking symbolism and metaphors that must be decoded to understand the "real meaning" of. Something only a real anime grenius could ever hope to understand.

I want to come out and say that this is bogus, to not use a word that would get this essay thrown out for improper language. It is the express goal of this post, along with the other two, is to tear down this myth, so that conversations about it will not stop and end about how trippy or complicated EVA purported to be.

For those who haven't caught up with the material, you can consider these to be equal parts a primer for any Evangelion-related lectures you might attend in the near future, mixed-in with my own critiques and thoughts of it.

For ease of reading, from hereon these essays will refer to the original 1995-96 TV anime as "Neon Genesis" or "NGE", the 1997 feature film as "End of Eva" or "EoE", and the 21st Century rebuilds by their number, so "1.0", "2.0", "3.0", and "3.0+1.0".

Neon Genesis Evangelion, or "that time Anno read Schopenhauer while depressed."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lnf2ZD_25A

  Neon Genesis Evangelion is a mecha anime produced by Studio Gainax and directed by Hideaki Anno. It ran from October of 1995 until March of the following year.

Even by then, Anno had gained quite the notoriety thanks to his work in both animation, storyboarding and direction for works such as "Gunbuster"(1988), "Super Dimension Fortress Macross"(another show of the same genre), and of course, his part in animating the iconic God Warrior fight scene in Hayao Miyazaki's "Nausicaä of The Valley of The Wind"(1984).

The show's story follows Shinji Ikari, a high schooler who lives in a world left shaken by the Second Impact, a cataclysmic event that culled the planet's population in half. It had been brought on by the Angels, a series of massive and disturbing monstrosities that render all mundane weapons obsolete in the face of their other other-worldly terror.

With that context, Shinji has been contacted by his estranged father Gendo, beckoning him to the city of Tokyo-III. The latter had abandoned the boy shortly after the early and mysterious passing of his mother, Yui. Soon after arriving, Shinji is picked up by Lieutenant Misato Katsuragi, but not before the appearance of one of the aforementioned Angels, who are trying to finish their half-finished extermination from all those years ago.

After being driven to safety in an underground base, it is explained that both Gendo and Misato work for NERV, a secret organization dedicated to fighting off these monsters and allegedly preventing the coming of a Third Impact. How, you may ask? Well, of course, by forcing mentally troubled teenagers to pilot a series of massive robots that bear a striking resemblance to the very angels they fight. 

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/89/a7/a3/89a7a3ea3e241c1ee36121f6de0975de.jpg

  I say "forced to" for comedic effect, but the more accurate term would be "conned into". The first episode shows Shinji reluctant to enter the uncanny and iconic Unit 01, for obvious reasons. Putting aside the mountains of baggage between himself and his father, in a matter of minutes he goes from a random kid with daddy issues to the one and only hope for humanity's survival. It is only after Gendo parades the body of the bedridden pilot Rei Ayanami that Shinji decides to get in the robot, and if that sounds manipulative or scummy to you, then let me tell you that that's not even in the top 5 of the most messed-up ways people get Shinji to pilot a mecha.

It is here that we get our first hint into the fact that something is wrong with Shinji. He is the audience surrogate, that much is undeniable. However, he doesn't come with the typical "power fantasy" traits we've come to expect from the male leads in this role, especially for anime.

https://i0.wp.com/codigoespagueti.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/neon-genesis-evangelion-shinji-ikari-hideaki-anno-relacion.jpg

  Shinji is not a "cool" guy, much less a role model. He's not even heroic, a fact that will only become more pronounced with each entry in the series. He doesn't want to pilot his EVA Unit, as displayed by the many, many, many times he complains about it, and he isn't validated for his efforts the way other protagonists often are.

His father rarely, if ever, recognizes his work or worth; his peers are either distant or even ridicule him for his shortcomings; finally, even his classmates end up unhappy with his heroics. This is shown by our main character getting the stuffing beaten out of him by one of his classmates, Toji. The added irony of this moment coming from a line that immediately preceded it, Misato’s "people will thank you for what you did".

As the show works its way through the tried-and-tested "monster of the week" formula, it becomes increasingly apparent that Shinji is not as blameless as he'd like to let on. Sure, his circumstances aren't ideal, and he is being manipulated by... pretty much everyone, but he's not someone without agency.

At many points in the series, it is shown to the audience that Shinji could just leave. If he refuses to pilot his Unit, then that would be that. His father can radiate as much disappointment as he wants or Misato can give him the most motherly speech imaginable, but that's where their ability to influence him begins and ends. They can't force him to get in the robot. And if he ever does refuse, it's patently clear that NERV can and will find some other way to fight that episode's Angel. In fact, both characters remind and even suggest Shinji quit at multiple points. However, each time, he willingly chooses to pilot the EVA, and each time, he conveniently exculpates himself from the choices he makes. He's got a raw deal, but he's far from a reliable source to explain it.

However, he isn't just detached from his agency, but from the whole world. Shinji is the character who best embodies the idea of the "Hedgehog's Dilemma", a concept the show dissects in its fourth episode.

Originally coined by German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, the parable states that human intimacy is analogous to porcupines huddling for warmth in the rain. They want to get closer to each other for heat, but their sharp spines prevent them from getting too close to each other, thus needing to find a middle ground between both extremes where they neither receive the warmth they desire nor are safe from their fellow mammals' prickly exterior. Likewise, us humans seek companionship from others, but inevitably have to distance ourselves to some level due to our fear of being hurt by others' "many unpleasant and repulsive qualities and insufferable drawbacks", as Schopenhauer puts it.

This theory is what inspires one of the main mechanics of the setting, the "Absolute Terror Fields''. Our innate fear of others manifesting as psionic barriers that both the Angels and the EVAs use in battle.

Shinji is this idea taken to its logical extreme. His mother's death and subsequent abandonment by Gendo have made him so fearful of others and the outside world that he has isolated himself from all of it, to an extent where even he removes himself from even his own actions. He doesn't talk to others, he doesn't delve into any of NERV's machinations, and he doesn't really try to understand what anyone else is going through. The world and the people who fill it have taken too much for him to risk being hurt again, so he shuts himself off.

Paradoxically Shinji still needs that proverbial warmth. He is dependent on it, more so than anyone else in this show, which is saying something. When he finally finds his reason to pilot the EVA, it's because he wants his father's validation. He leans on any and all relationships he can find to derive self-worth. From his budding friendship with Toji, who becomes another reason for him to pilot the mech; his complicated relationship with Misato, who is tasked with acting as the mother he never had; and especially his fellow pilots, first Rei, Asuka, and finally, Kaworu.

Asuka herself ends up being the person Shinji ends up relying on the most. She is everything he's not, but at the same time, she mirrors his same dilemma.

https://cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/metroworldnews/MEA4275TABFCZE5U5MCLWPPTQA.jpg

She's confident, aggressive and hyper-competent, our protagonist's natural foil. While the main character struggles to take a step when Unit 01 is introduced to the audience, when Asuka gets in Unit 02, the difference is night-and-day. Her first appearance feels as if it belongs on another show, donning Gundam-sized capes, pulling out Rider Kicks and tossing entire warships around like they're nothing. No matter what version of Evangelion you're watching, her fights are a visual spectacle at all times, except for that one time where she goes magma-diving, but I digress.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/b98ac5664da87d1a923eda40b8f373c7/tumblr_pz0ragwSaK1sxkjwwo1_540.gif

This pulls double-duty as both spectacle and characterization. Unlike Shinji, she has tied her worth as a human being entirely to her ability to pilot the EVAs. You see, she needs to Style on those Angels with a capital S, because as far as she's concerned, all she needs is to be the best. As long as she can prove to everyone that she's the best pilot that's ever stepped into an Entry Plug, then she doesn't need anyone or anything else. This rationalization, of course, being a result of her own set of parent-related trauma.

In regards to the Hedgehog Dilemma, she's almost as obvious a fit for the parable as Shinji. Asuka is what anime fans know as tsundere, perhaps even the most iconic and formative example of that archetype and trope. For academic purposes, let's go over this one last time.

A tsundere is a popular archetype in anime, generally(but not always) female, who acts aloof or even hostile towards others, but hides a sensitive interior, with the outward attitude often serving as a defense mechanism for the latter. Schopenhauer's theory made manifest in the form of abusive remarks, crossed arms, pouty faces, the occasional blush, and the trademark "b-baka" at the end of a character-establishing sentence.

Her mere arrival emasculates our protagonist, visually represented by Shinji having to use the more feminine 02 plug suit and then having to wear her clothes in the next episode. The former, combined with the usual brand of teenage hormones, leads him to be viscerally uncomfortable, however, in the latter episode, as the two begin to bond and synchronize with each other, Shinji comes to terms with how Asuka makes him feel. A pretty sweet bit of subtle and entirely visual storytelling, that crescendos in an electrically choreographed fight perfectly synchronized to the beat of "Both of you, Dance like you want to win."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u6V6UisBz8

Now's as good a time as any to wind back from the heavy-handed use of philosophical pessimism and talk about one of the more universally praised aspects of the show. The fights, and more precisely, the direction that goes into them.

The fights themselves in Neon Genesis tend to be rather simple. Usually, the Angel of the week has a specific gimmick that NERV needs to work around, but that's as complex as it gets. There's no secret techniques to keep track of, or even much of a power system to sink your teeth into, as is the case with many shonen anime. The mechas don't even receive that many accessories, and no one has a cool fused form where all the toys-sorry, all the robots come together into one neatly indestructible package.

Instead, the complexity and the tension comes in the intertwining systems and machinery needed for the fight. Even the act of deploying an EVA takes a laundry-list of checks and procedures, all with their own specialized staff that need to come together in order for humanity to have so much as an outside shot of surviving an Angel Attack. It grounds the action, while heightening the stakes of every week's encounter, but more than that, it highlights another theme that runs through the director's filmography.

In NGE, it's not brightly colored, individually-sold robots that join to defeat the problem of the day. In Evangelion, its the people, like you or I, who come together to combat these massive and seemingly incomprehensible problems that besiege our lives. While this may at first seem superfluous, it's a theme that persists in other works by Anno, like namely, Shin Godzilla, a movie that I promise I'll gush about later in a more succinct manner.

Speaking of whom, none of this would be possible without the immense skill that puts these scenes together. Despite the above paragraph, there is nothing more boring to watch than a bunch of people listing off pre-takeoff checks and staring at screens, but Neon Genesis somehow makes this a must-watch activity. Every piece of information that comes from NERV headquarters is framed, animated, and edited with an explosiveness that I've only seen matched by Studio Shaft's Monogatari Series. Adding to this, the all-time great soundtrack accompanying these scenes is used to perfection. Tracks like Shiro Sagisu's "ANGEL ATTACK" or "DECISIVE BATTLE" are forever burned into my brain, injecting the action with a militaristic tone, but all the same vibrant energy that adds to the stunningly edited sequences.

There's a real sense of tension to all the fights in Neon Genesis, like you don't know what's going to happen next. Not in the sense of characters merely saying that something is impossible or that the odds are inconceivably stacked against them, but we feel it in every encounter. There's a certain improvisational feeling to the fights in NGE. NERV's strategies never go as planned, and sometimes even fail outright, needing to be adjusted on the fly, as if these characters are racing against the clock for the fate of humanity. And in this show, the clock is always ticking.

When a countdown appears saying an EVA has five minutes before it runs out of power, they only get five real world minutes. If a data analyst says that something will happen in 12 seconds, then you can bet your bottom dollar that precisely twelve seconds later, it will happen, not a single moment sooner or later.

However, the direction doesn't stop shining at the fight scenes, as highlighted by the bleak atmosphere of the rest of the show. When it isn't busy turning NERV HQ into the world's most exciting voice chat, Neon Genesis is fantastic at getting you knee-deep into the near perpetual funk that is its characters' downright pathetic social lives. When Gendo does his signature move of "being disappointed at his son" you feel the full bore of that abuse; when Shinji's melted down into goop and was forced to come to a glimmer of self-actualization, you're in there; and when Asuka and Rei are forced to share an elevator together, well... just see for yourself.

Everything goes poorly... for everyone.

As the show nears its second half, less screen time is devoted to the monster of the week. Instead, more of it is placed on the interpersonal lives of all main leads catastrophically falling apart.

Rei is revealed to be a clone of Shinji's mom. A reveal foreshadowed by the fact that she looks and sounds almost exactly the same as her. It probably explains why the boy is so awkward around her.

After seeing her performance as a pilot beginning to drop, Asuka's synchronization begins to plummet. To keep it simple, synchronization is a stat in the Evangelion franchise that dictates how well you can pilot the mechs. Higher number good, lower number bad, and our German Tsundere's number is getting real bad. With her aforementioned relation between skill and self-worth, Asuka begins a downward spiral, which in this version, she never recovers from. Her synch rate drops to zero, making her unable to pilot Unit 02, which ends up being such a massive blow to her psyche that she ends up catatonic and comatose for the rest of the show, but not of course before remembering what that bit of trauma I alluded to entailed. CW: Suicide.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b46F7afDQbE

Woof.

Misato begins a romantic relationship with Kaji, an ex boyfriend who's now taken up the jobs of being Asuka's surrogate father and double-no, sorry, triple agent spying for and against NERV and SEELE, the global shadow government that bankrolls the operation(just roll with it). It seems that despite their combined efforts to stop the Angels, both organizations have their own plans to covertly bring their own mutually exclusive apocalypses, both under the name of the mysterious "Human Instrumentality Project". However, just as soon as she rekindles her love for the man, he disappears without a trace, implied to have been killed by one of the two groups.

Apparently, he was killed by the main character of the videogame "Secrets of Evangelion", but literally who cares about that?

However, by episode 24, the biggest trainwreck in the show is, of course, our hero, Shinji Ikari. After everyone else finished collectively losing their marbles, SEELE had sent a fourth and final pilot to meet our hero. The Fourth Child, a kind-hearted, soft-spoken and mysterious gray-haired and red-eyed boy by the name of Nagisa Kaworu. Surprisingly, he and our protagonist get along remarkably well. So much so that historians have theorized that at some point, they could've been "good friends" or perhaps, even "roommates".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=zbYipwR3YqA

Jokes aside, there's a real interesting and sweet element to their dynamic. Kaworu is the first person to ever show Shinji the unconditional love he's been hungering for all of his life. And the reactions he has to him are so flustered that one can't help but see the queer undertones from a mile away, which for like, an anime from the 90s is pretty impressive. I won't touch too much on the subject, both because... have you looked at this? It’s already too long and if I start getting on about Shinji's potential bisexuality, we might be here for 3000 more words. Moreover, I'm just a boring cishet heterosexual man. I can bet you actual Chilean pesos that there are people with way more interesting perspectives on the matter, people who can better express both their emotional truth and how that relates to this part of the show in way better detail than me. 

Back onto the plot, Kaworu is revealed to be the 1st Angel, sent to infiltrate NERV and cause the Third Impact. This forces Shinji to kill the only being to have ever even said the words "I love you" to him. It's quite a potent scene, especially when you realize what it means in the broader context of Neon Genesis and End of Evangelion. Tonally, this is the lowest point in the show, even EoE’s cruelest moments, things are never this bleak. Reality has crashed down on every character. There is no hope, and worst of all, Gendo reveals that he’s about to unleash his secret plan, the “Human Instrumentality Program”, which is… something I’ll talk about in a moment.

By this point, the show had run for 24 episodes, seeing both commercial and critical success. However, as pretty much everyone knows by now, at the final hurdle... plans changed, to put it lightly.

The story of how episodes 25 and 26 of Neon Genesis came to be has been told so many different times and in so many ways that it has turned into its own modern myth. Some say that the producers at Gainax had run out of money at the eleventh hour, forcing the showrunners to improvise a new ending employing a heavy use of creative shortcuts to make up for lack of funds. Other tellings explain it as a last second script change due to supposed parallels between the intended finale and the real-life Tokyo Subway Sarin Attack that took place mid-airing. Another possibility lies in the dwindling mental health of the show's director, the fingerprints of which can be seen clear as day on the show's second half. I've even heard rumors of someone at Gainax stealing a sizable chunk of money meant to fund the animation of these two episodes.

Whether any or all of the above is true, the fact of the matter is that the last two episodes of NGE were not what anyone had intended or expected at the start of this show's production or airing. A massive departure in terms of structure, tone, and even animation style from the rest of the show, making copious use of subtext, metaphor, and recontextualized clips from earlier broadcasts to craft a new ending. One which would forever etch itself as one of the most divisive decisions in the history of the medium.

In a way, the show's original ending supersedes the rest of it, at least in terms of reputation. No discussion on Neon Genesis can be complete without the obligatory question of "but what about that ending, though?" At time of release, people, especially otakus, were shocked at what played out on their TVs. Following the release of "The Ending World" and "The Beast that Shouted 'I' at the Heart of the World'', Hideaki Anno received real death threats from fans of the show. That's how bad it got.

Following what modern gaming platform, Steam, would call "mixed reviews", combined with the countless unanswered questions left in the show's text, Hideaki Anno released two movies to try to better explain himself. "Death and Rebirth", a recap movie that I will not be talking about, and "Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion."

End of Evangelion follows a different telling of the events following episode 24. It hits a lot of the same emotional and thematic beats as the 1996 broadcast, but does so adding a lot of what was "missing" in it in areas such as drama, spectacle, and most of all, money. However, that story is for another time. Right now, we need to talk about what actually happened in the last 40 minutes of the most influential anime of the 90s.

The End of Neon Genesis Evangelion(not to be confused with Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion)

The last two episodes of the broadcast anime cover a version of the much-anticipated execution of the "Human Instrumentality Project". A melding of all consciousness, where everyone's fears and insecurities, the spikes that push our little porcupines away, begin to melt away and give way to a single unified being. There's a lot to unpack in that sentence, but for now, we'll leave at that, as we get a more detailed explanation of the process in both End of Evangelion and the Rebuilds, and saving this for parts 2 and 3 will give us more to talk about then.

If you want to make sense of what "Human Instrumentality'' is, think of it this way. While watching the show, did you, at any point, think "wow, these kids need to see a psychologist?" If your answer was yes, then good news, Hideaki Anno agrees with you. The last two episodes of the show are spent with the entire cast receiving a cosmic therapy session to prime them for the whole "melding 7 billion hedgehogs into one being" bit.

And that is where the text of this anime ends, what happens strictly within the logic of the show, the specific actions characters take, are now secondary to something else. The subtext, which is to say, the ideas those specific actions and events are written to explore, like for example, the Hedgehog's Dilemma from earlier. From hereon, the themes of the show take over the steering wheel and it doesn't let go until the movies.

This ending, combined with the show's vague, but intuitable lore and the heavy use of Christian iconography is what gives the show its infamous reputation. This is where the idea of Evangelion as this impossibly deep puzzle that can only be pieced together by decoding every metaphor to decipher the "real meaning" of it comes from. Its a misguided idea, one that poisons the otherwise fascinating discussions one can have on it. In reality, the ending is pretty straight forward, once you get over the presentation of it. To the point where at many times, it gives up on all the set-dressing of giant monsters and A.T. Fields and it just tells you what it's about. 

By the end of the world's best therapy session, Shinji realizes that, while life is scary and his fear of being hurt is legitimate, both are shaped entirely by his perception of it. It is only because of him shutting himself off and assuming the worst that his life becomes that frightening. Shinji, and everyone else, is capable, and even deserving of happiness.

Another central theme that the show just straight up tells Shinji about is the matter of self-worth. You cannot derive validation from outside sources. Your parents, your friends, your job, and even your partners, you can't rely on these to serve as validation for your life. Everyone has their own problems, and well, things happen, people come in and out of your life, relationships can be severed by circumstance, and even death can swoop in at the most inopportune time. The only one who can serve as that barometer is you. Whatever value you derive from this life has to come from within you, no one and nothing else aptly provide it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TISVubPMeM

All of this is communicated, directly or otherwise, through the final minute of NGE. After the collective cast of the show tell Shinji that it is up to him to correct his frightening perspective only, Shinji finally stands up from his seat and achieves self-actualization. He realizes everything I just said, but in words a 14 year-old can understand. From there, the rest of the world flows outward from within him, including his relationships with his family, friends, pilots, and peers. And it is then, and only then, that Shinji receives the validation he had so desperately sought. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs8U6I-Z7Zo

It's a nice ending, coherent with the themes communicated by the show throughout its runtime, and the story had even left enough for you to piece together a loose chain of events for the story. It's certainly the kindest ending Shinji gets until the final Rebuild film, and it serves as an interesting contrast to EoE’s telling of these same events.

With all of that being said, though. I have some criticisms of those final episodes. While thematically, I find the resolutions given out by the show's ending to be thematically resonant and in line with the rest of the show, it does leave something to be desired in terms of drama and how out of left-field it comes. There's a few teases, then Kaworu dies in episode 24 and BAM! Shinji's sitting on the proverbial couch. It feels very disconnected from everything else we've seen. To use a comparison, I feel it has the same problems as the final acts of Persona 4 and 5. Where after defeating the serial killer or corrupt politician the entire plot was about, the game switches gears and it makes up a massively powerful Shadow at the eleventh hour, so that it can use it to just outright tell you the themes of the games. While I think Neon Genesis is a whole sight prettier than either of those endings, it does share the problem that on its own, it makes you wonder what the importance or connection was with what came before. What were the Angel fights about if it was going to end with the End of the World happening offscreen? I personally think the ending is fine and coherent with the rest of the show, but it by no means sticks the landing.

Conclusion:

At its core, the 1995 anime is about capturing the feeling of loneliness in our age; it's about feeling less-than, and how we can rise above that; a show that explores how uncomfortable it can feel to open up to others, and how the change needed to do so begins within ourselves. Ideas that resonated with the post-Housing Crisis audiences of late 90s Japan, and ones that are still poignant to this day. It's not a show where you need to pay attention to blink-and-you-miss-it types of symbollism. It's not a show where you need a guide on hand to make sense of.it at any given point. And most importantly, its not a show about lore.

That's what the Rebuilds are about.

FINAL RATING: Neon Genesis Evangelion(1995) - 4,25/5

Nicolás Izaguirre Gallardo.

#Anime #Manga #Japan #essay #submission

[entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys]

Are You Stupid ?!

Are, You Dumb ?! . . . . . . . . . . . GOOD !!!

That's what the creator of the universe at the universe for the universe was made for to be a small-minded, cheap thrills and to worship your ego or for the ego of others that is the whole purpose of the universe.

. . .

I mean yeah there's a spiritual thing to it all but ultimately everything it just comes right back to Ego spirituality is a different type of ego even in Hinduism it's just a different type of ego the whole BS of shut your ego is BS even for Buddha Buddha just want you to worship his ego he wants to give up your ego for his ego.

. . .

So are you stupid do you chase Cheap Thrills do you just want to have sex your whole life eat food live in the short pleasures of life kind of hard to find something deep with God spend it that way he wants you to indulge in that stuff because there is no higher path because he didn't even get into the higher path all it really is a luxury version of everything I just told you about Olympus is full of the same thing I just said small mind Cheap Thrills and ego and oh my God Ego Rule Olympus !!!!!

I know you never met a Deedee before or deities or met or ever experienced Olympus most mortals don't get a chance to experience it a very rare experience actually Rare understatement.

. . .

Olympus the place where you're both blessed and actually horrified because the level of ego is so monumentally be on anything you ever experienced it is beyond any kind of culture shock you'd ever experience it's like having 400 trillion nuclear bombs and I said the word trillion blow up right around you the level of shock you get from experiencing the level of ego a deity has and these are real deities.

. . .

And the level of ego that the deities have is nothing compared to the most high deity Ptah, Aka Allah, Aka God !

His ego doesn't just rule him his ego is infinite he is I'm sorry this comes off insulting but I've actually had road experience the rest of the say you do you're full of Shit I'm the only one being honest.

. . .

If ego is so big everything he does is ruled by his ego every single thing I sometimes wonder even his heart is ruled by his ego every single thing that God does is ruled by his ego and I mean absolutely everything he is beyond an egotistical he is dealing an ego Maniac he is so far beyond any word we have to comprehend a person who is gone so far into egotism that just no way to comprehend it that's god that's literally God nope unintended I swear to God I swear on God the experience I had with God is he all knowing yes is the powerful yes is he Omnipresent. . . YES !!!

. . .

But you have to understand that the thing that God hails is the most high of him of his ego.

. . .

There is no higher path there is no truly enlightened path it's all ego everything comes down to the ego there is no way to get away from the eagle there was no way to stop the ego there was no way to escape the ego everything is ego the whole universe is literally in a weird way of thinking about it just one giant Ego.

. . .

Is all powerful it's all knowing it's everywhere keep in mind that God is also the universe the body of God is the universe more like the multiverse.

. . .

And if you completely fair if anyone else is that powerful and we could be a hit at his level I think you would have a massive ego I think it would be so much to a degree that would be illogical than happy anything but absolute ego at that point.

. . .

Also God is pure white God is wider than snow it's kind of hard to find the level of white that God is but God is a level of white that and I swear this to God on God trying to use our language in this planet he makes the sun look literally black and I don't know if your brain can process an image that white !

. . .

He makes fresh white snow look almost like it's cream colored it's very hard to also it glows so intensely it will burn your eyes out.

. . .

So I just wanted to warn you about that if you ever experienced a deity get ready to get hit with so much ego it's like you got hit with a tsunami and a hurricane at the same time while being shot with a lightning bolt that won't stop electrocuting you.

. . .

😱

#Ego #Cheap Thrills #Small Minds #Stupidity #Divine Plan

[its-tea-time-darling]

Tu parles français ?

ouiiii. mais pour être honêtte: il fait plusieurs ans que j'ai vraiment parlé français. je suis suisse (du part allemend), et on apprend français avant qu'on apprend l'englais. (or it used to be like that back in my days, they may have changed it now.) alors pour un temps mon français été mieux que mon englais. mais après le lycée à l'université c'était englais qui était la langue importante comme langue scienfitique international, et puis j'ai jamais plus utilisé mon français.

so. all that remains today is the vague ability to form sentences that can probably be understood, but are by no means correct.

are you french-speaking then? <3

#ask #hope #tea answers #french #languages #oh #but also i'm starting to work at a new job in the swiss government #- or it's an intitution that is paid and guided by the swiss government more like - #and there it's actually pretty advantageous if you're able to speak and understand french! #there's this swiss scientific journal (not peer reviewed but just some kind of journal) that i published a paper in and #there the articles are either in french or german (possibly italian as well?) (but for sure not in rhaeto-romance lmao rip) #and then they're summarized in the other language #so you kind of only get the full image if you can understand both languages #so #my french skills might improve during the next years! - exciting! #*heart eyes*

[miekasa]

love talk

+ pairings: eren yeager + (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: it’s not important that eren is a tattoo artist i just wanted to share bc i gave him tattoos here :’), fluff i think, smut/nsfw content, if you see a hint of eremin then no you don’t </2

+ word count: almost 2k, sickening innit luv

+ notes: yeah, still thinking about eren speaking german during sex bc he’s losing his mind hehe. i suppose this is the… softer version. might post another one later, who knows. and yes, i did almost name this pussy talk. 

Unbeknownst to him, Eren Jaeger speaks three languages.

The first two are obvious, but English is his preferred language; the one you’ll find him speaking most often. It only makes sense, seeing as it’s what the overwhelming majority of people, media, and signs spew at him.

The second is more reserved; something you might assume given his name, but not know for sure unless you asked, or stuck around long enough to catch him rambling excitedly to Armin in German, with broken slang phrases of English interspersed. It’s fascinating—cute, moreover—the way he stumbles back and forth between both tongues; and the difference in tone between them. You’re not sure if your own bias is peeking through, but you’re certain Eren and Armin both sound a little… meaner in German; more sarcastic, at the very least—and you wouldn’t be surprised to find out they were talking shit the whole time.

Though, there is a special, reserved intonation to his mother tongue that shows itself when Eren’s around you. It doesn’t seem to be by choice—gone beyond comprehension that he’s forced to revert to grunted expressions and curses in a language foreign to his surroundings. You assume them to be curses; you never can confirm, and Eren seems to not even be aware of his switching in the heat of the moment, can never quite recall what he was saying to you.

There are times when he’s reduced to mere sounds, no comprehensible words between the hundreds of thousands he knows—only guttural moans, and breathy sighs, and he seems to not even be able to understand himself. You have to admit, it’s a bit of an ego boost to be able to fuck your boyfriend stupid in two languages.

And at first glance, Eren doesn’t seem like the type of guy to know about anything outside of himself. He doesn’t seem like the full-sleeve, three ear piercing, tattoo artist kinda kid; but Eren Jaeger speaks the language of pictures, of symbols, of images, that he is able to decipher and give meaning to upon creation. He’s got a penchant for art, and a vision bigger than himself, so it’s only right that he takes his knowledge and applies it in its most permanent form. The tattoos are more than a hobby for him—they’re an extension of himself, his art, his language; and his body is the only canvas fit enough to capture them.

So, here, with Eren laying on his back, chest exposed, arms bent for his hands to rest against your waist, you get to see the culmination of all the words and all the pictures, from all the languages he’s deemed important enough to find a place on his skin.

“Do all of your tattoos have a meaning?” you question, reaching your hand up to trace over the delicate waves that ride along his right collarbone.

“No,” Eren winces when you move—just enough of him to feel an ounce of friction inside of you, but not enough to give him what he wants. He wiggles himself a bit, desperate for something, “Not at all.”

It makes you chuckle, with a sort of disbelief, at both his words and his actions, “You get things tattooed on your body that don’t mean anything to you?”

Eren lets out a shaky breath, followed with a boyish smile. He blinks at you slowly, lids fluttering and hands gripping tightly at your body, “Learned that not everything has to have a deep meaning to want to keep it around,” he tells you, right palm moving to venture over your tummy, and up your sides, “Somethings you just love.”

You don’t miss the lilt in his voice on the word ‘love,’ but you play it off, rolling your eyes at his deliberately sweet affections, and then, gently, your hips, “Pretty poetic for something with no meaning.”

“Yeah, well, Armin taught me that,” Eren grits, hands fastening themselves at your hips again.

“You talk about Armin a lot when we’re in bed you know,” you taunt him, moving your fingers to trace over more of the tattoos that litter his right shoulder, “Something I should know about?”

Eren shivers at the feeling—of your fingertips on his skin, and what he swears was an intentional clench around him, “You don’t seem to mind.”

You smile at him, enjoying the contortions of his face when you run your hands down his chest, palms pressed lightly against his pelvic bone. Eren bends a knee, but does he best to remain still, and you can’t help but to chuckle. He looks pretty when he’s trying his best.

“I’m greedy,” you tell him, raising your hips, and pausing in your words as you slowly lower yourself back on to him.

“Trust me,” Eren scoffs, a façade to cover up his reddening cheeks and shaky thighs, “I know.”

He tries to move his hips up, desperate for something more; for you to fucking move, but, you keep your hips perfectly still. Instead, you reach your arms behind you, and onto Eren’s thighs, cementing them to the bed. He groans, his hands sliding down to your own thighs, fingertips digging into your flesh.

“And you called me greedy,” you huff, amused, as Eren rolls his eyes beneath you. When you’re sure he’s not going to move, you bring your arms back around, palms splayed on his stomach, “Relax. This is what you asked for, isn’t it?”

“Honestly, in an ideal world, this would be happening when I was playing COD, not when I was already impossibly hard with morning wood. And with a lot less teasing on your part.”

You have to laugh—genuinely giggle—at Eren’s blunt honesty. He’s unintentionally charming; another linguistic skill he seems unaware that he’s proficient in. You can tell he doesn’t understand the source of your amusement, but the look in his eyes, the twinkle in his irises lets you know he’s too far gone to even care.

“Call it a lesson in self-control,” you say, moving your hands to his sides in time with a shallow grind of your hips, “Besides, I’m admiring you.”

Eren keeps his hands anchored on your thighs, shivering at sensitivity of his dick coupled with your hands stroking over his pecs, “Lesson fucking learning—babe, fuck, please—”

“Shh—not yet,” you coo, and reach to pull his arms off of you, leaving you with room to admire his sleeve. You take pity on him, holding his right wrist with both of your hands, before slowly beginning to bounce on him.

Eren squirms, his free hand reaching to grab at the flesh of your ass, eyes blinking open to watch his cock be buried inside of you. The relief is instant—for the both of you—immediate groans and shallow profanities slipping past your lips as you build a steady pace to ride him.

“Tell—tell me what this one means,” you question slowly, keeping your right hand around his wrist, but using your left to point to the tattoo; a stylized line art of crossed wings.

“Some shit about freedom,” Eren grunts, fingers twitching, “Fuck, babe—more, please, I’ll—”

Eren cuts himself off with a whine, and you hiss yourself, lifting your body all the way to the tip, before lowering yourself again at an agonizingly slow pace. At this rate, you can feel everything; every vein on his shaft, every twitch of his cock. You feel Eren deep inside of you, even see where the bulge outlines your tummy.

You still yourself for just a second, catching your breath, anchoring yourself on Eren. You’re pretty far gone yourself, but you want more; for yourself, and for him. You do your best to stay coherent, slowly grinding atop of him, questioning him about another tattoo on his arm, ignoring the way his palm grips at your bicep. It’s a small one, with detailed Japanese characters that you can’t understand, but appreciate anyway; it’s one of your favorites, and you ask Eren about its meaning, clenching yourself around him as punctuation to your question.  

Eren sucks air between his teeth, left hand pulling back to run his fingers through his hair, a grunted word in German falling from his lips. You smirk, but let him try to answer you.

“I don’t fucken’ know,” Eren grumbles, head thrashing from side to side, “It’s really fucken’ hard to remember anything—shit—like this. S’fucking torture.”

“Hm,” you hum, not satisfied; eager for more of Eren’s love language, “Tell me something in German, instead, then.”

But Eren can only babble beneath you; sounds incoherent in either language—reduced to desperate whines and grabby hands at your thighs, waist, boobs—anything. You lean forward, letting go of Eren’s tattooed wrist, and reaching to ghost your fingers over his lips.

“Come on, Eren, you’re usually so good at it when we do this,” you taunt him, words coated in sweetness that distract you from keeping up your pace, “Just want you to talk pretty to me. Tell me something, baby.”

Eren’s eyes travel from your fingertips, up your arm, neck, and to your face. When he meets your gaze something shifts; eyes heavy with want, and bitter with dissatisfaction.

So, he reaches for your extended hand, laces your fingers together, “Something like what?”

You wrap your fingers around his, then do the same with your left hand, “Anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah,” you affirm with a smile, finally satisfied.

Eren grunts, bending his right knee for leverage before he flips you over, hands still intertwined, but now pinned over your head, harshly pressed into the pillows below. He buries his head into the crook of your neck; licking a stripe along your collarbone, where you’d teased him minutes before. Then up, up, up, your neck to the shell of your ear, retreating downwards to suck on the skin just beneath your ear, nipping with pointed teeth.

Eren keeps his weight on you, the length of his cock sliding over your slick folds while he bites angry, red blotches into your skin—a kind of impermanent tattoo of his own making on your body. The friction is good, but not enough, and you wonder if Eren intends on teasing you as long as you’d done to him; but, he breathes heavy breaths up your neck again, before mumbling a series of foreign syllables into your ear.

He hovers over your face, satisfied by the daze in your eyes; the slight openness of your mouth. It’s you who looks dumbstruck now, a foreigner to his ministrations; and for once, he’s in control with his second tongue.

“What—what does that mean?” you finally ask, squeezing your eyes briefly when Eren teases the tip just past your entrance.

Eren chuckles, airy, gritty, and cocky all at once. He pushes his cock inside of you, balls deep, only to pull out almost all the way, before leaning forward just slightly, so that his bottom lip grazes over yours.

“It means I love you,” he whispers, hips bucking forward, “Try to remember that, ‘cause I swear I’m gonna fuck you stupid, baby.”

#aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren smut #eren jaeger x reader #levi x reader #aot smut #aot imagines #snk imagines #eren fluff

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap drabble #sapnap oneshot #bubblyhoneyfics #honey answers #mcyt x reader #🥚except small