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vanaera · 4 years

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Love at First Snow (jhs)

Synopsis | It is during the first snow Hoseok first meets Y/N. It is also during the first snow he prepares to put a ring on her. Little does he know, fate has other plans. (OR: As Hoseok relishes in the spirit of the Holiday season, he cannot help but also reminisce how you two, though entire polar opposites of each other, ended up together. Characters | dance major (and “academically-challenged”)!Hoseok x Genius!female reader (College AU) Prompt | “You know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Genre | Fluff, Humor, Angst Wordcount | 16.9k (I’m sorry, this ended up longer than I intended) Warnings | Discussions of verbal abuse from toxic families and mentions of panic attacks A/N | Hi Cristine! It is I, snowflake, your secret santa! This is my gift for @bts-poetry for @bangtanarmynet, and @btsbookclub ‘s Secret Santa 2019 event! I combined this gift with the prompt I claimed in @kwritersworld’s 2019 Christmas Event as my inspirations for both events have merged into one story hehe.

Everyone has some titles to live by. “Well-versed lawyer,” “patient teacher,” “single mother,” “broke student”—one-liner characteristics and descriptions enough for people to summarize the entirety of one another. From each other’s greatest achievements to their itty bitty mistakes, any of them can be used to replace an identifier. After all, people always see what they want to see. It all depends on what title sticks out the most to the majority around them. For Jung Hoseok, he lives up to the title of a lovable boyfriend and a rare one, too. As whenever people look at him, the first thing they see is the aberrance of how he ended up….dating Y/N.

There’s nothing wrong with him, or Y/N for that matter. It’s just…they are the most impossible couple to end up together as they are the most literal polar opposites of each other.

People remember Jung Hoseok as the golden dance major of the prestigious South Tigers University. He got into the Performing Arts program, Major in Dance by acing the laborious dance audition despite his unimpressive results in the written exam. Hoseok’s colorful background from his long-term dance crew, Hope World, and his countless wins in different hip hop dance competitions were more than enough proof to know he is indeed one of the top dancers of the university. With a body capable of executing each move ever known to humankind with such grace and precision, Jung Hoseok also has a stage presence that warrants everyone’s unbridled attention. Thus, it is without question he is the prided Most Valuable Dancer of his university’s varsity dance crew, Synergy. The long line-up of trophies Synergy has placed in STU’s hall of glory, all thanks to the competitions Hoseok led, are enough to say Hoseok is literally the modern-day Apollo.

However, it is not just his talent or insanely god-like face and physique that makes Hoseok so “golden.” Because as if Apollo wasn’t enough, Hoseok also impersonated Helios. Jung, Hoseok is warm and kind and funny. He easily makes everyone want to be his bestfriend the moment they met him. Most people often speak of him first thing in the morning with another wonderful feat he pulled off. Hoseok is great in the things he does — playing as the great wingman for people who need the extra push in their romances or becoming the occasional teacher’s pet who goes to the professor and (easily) successfully convinces them to give the class a deadline extension for a requirement. Hoseok turns up every campus party into the happiest event anyone could ever be in and he is such an amazing, sincere friend who remembers everyone’s birthday and gives out the nicest of hugs. Hell, Hoseok even volunteers in long-inactive “dead” college organizations like the Campus Drunk Patrol, Environment Protection Squad, and Animal Welfare Group in his free time. Hoseok is the literal sun and anyone who knows him — which is literally, everyone — will never be unable to deny otherwise.

So when Hoseok expressed romantic interest in Y/N in sophomore year, everyone around him was beyond bewildered. Most especially, his friends.

“Y/N?” Jimin sputters, “as in…The Y/N, L/N from our batch?”

“Well, yeah-”

“Like the Analytical Physics major Y/N L/N?” Taehyung gapes.

“Yeah, I mean,” Hoseok sends them a questioning look, “is there any other Y/N L/N?”

Taehyung scratches his head. “Well, no…I just thought there’s a Y/N in another batch?”

Hoseok gives him a pointed look, unamused.

But Taehyung’s true sentiment is voiced out when Jimin half-screams at their table, “Why her?!”

“Well, why not her?” Hoseok half-smiles, picking on the fries that were dropped scattered onto the table after Jimin unceremoniously pounded his fist on the surface in an act of over-exaggeration.

Taehyung sends Hoseok a disgusted look but continues his friend’s argument, “Dude, she’s like, the entire opposite of you.”

“And that is an understatement.” Jimin points a fry toward his direction, glaring at Hoseok.

Hoseok huffs, “Oh c'mon, you’re all just going overboard. What happened to the golden rule ‘don’t judge a book by its cover?’”

“First of all, Y/N’s not a book,” Jimin scoffs. “She’s like, the whole fucking library of science textbooks. Last sem, we’re busy doing a group project when Y/N suddenly spewed some SOHCAHTOA shit about the Bermuda Triangle. As if the things she said are already a whole level of weird, she even said them in a manner like Liam Neeson’s ‘I don’t know who you are but I’m going to kill you’ monologue from Taken. And second of all, the golden rule is ‘do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you,’ dumbass.”

“Okay I got the golden rule wrong,” Hoseok groans, “but nevertheless, you’re still violating it by judging Y/N.”

“In our defense tho,” Taehyung mumbles over the straw of his milkshake, “Y/N judged us first. I was watching Orange one time in the library and she came over and took a seat with me. And then she said some alien gibberish about how Naho Takamiya always fall stupidly on the stairs because she said, by verbatim, ‘according to basic logic and common sense, that’s not how projectiles work,’” Taehyung clicks his tongue and Jimin cringes. Taehyung continues, “Y/N said Naho wouldn’t fly to the hallway when she tripped on the actual steps. She even actually drew a diagram with computations of Naho’s fall and gave it to me before she abruptly got up and go. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and insulted both at the same time.”

“And,” Jimin adds, “last December, I shared a meme on Facebook about turning on your brain instead of your heart this coming 2017 and guess what she did? She commented below “guess, you’ll just die of heart failure before 2017 even comes.” Jimin rolls his eyes, “She made me feel dumb as if I don’t know how heart failure works. So us judging her back is just fair and square.”

“But you don’t actually know how heart failure works,” Hoseok retorts. He glares at Taehyung, “And dude, to be honest, Orange is overrated and Naho really flies whenever she trips, or gets tripped, on the stairs.” Hoseok throws up his hands in annoyance. “Seriously, are you two judging her for just…I don’t know, being smart?!”

Taehyung sighs. “Okay, that’s a bit true, but the thing is, Hobi, our IQ levels are already a bit higher than yours—”

“What’s that got to do with this?!”

“—And if Y/N’s already treating us like the biggest idiots of the world,” Jimin continues Taehyung’s words, “then what chance do you have in having a decent conversation with her? Much less a more fruitful one that could end up in a romantic relationship? There’s like a 99.9 percent sure-ness she will make you more of an idiot than us!”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Her thoughts are composed of quadratic formulas and science shit like ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ While I’m not even sure you know what DNA stands for.”

Hoseok gawks, “Of course I know what DNA stands for!”

“Then say it,” Jimin cocks a brow.

“Dual Nucleus Association—fuck, why am I even doing this—” Hoseok glares at his friends, “What do you take me for? An imbecile?”

“Well, yeah,” Taehyung says honestly.

“That’s why right now, we’re telling you to drop anything you’re feeling in that,” Jimin points to Hoseok’s chest, “for Y/N. Hell, how will you even click together? Y/N’s allergic to nonsense and emojis and your daily vocabulary is entirely nonsense and eggplant emojis.”

Hoseok opens his mouth to argue he also knows about the clown emoji but before he can utter a word, Taehyung beats him to it.

“Dude, we’re not telling you this to insult you.” Jimin snorts and Taehyung closes his eyes before he looks again at Hoseok’s eyes, “Okay, maybe we’re enjoying teasing you a little too much. But we can say this is just payback for you not letting us go home earlier yesterday because you said we ‘need improvement’ which I damn well think not, bitch.” Hoseok squirms and Taehyung claps his shoulder hard, making him wince. “Anyway, what we’re trying to say, Hoseok, is we just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“How will I get hurt?! Nothing’s happened yet. I’m just saying I like Y/N—”

“That’s what we’re worried about, Hoseok,” Jimin cuts him. “Nothing’s happened yet but we know something already did.”

“Like what?”

“You like Y/N. That’s the problem,” Jimin deadpans. “Hoseok we know you like to take relationships seriously. We even know that when you set your heart on a girl, your imagination is already two steps ahead, playing your wedding in your head.”

Hoseok gulps, a guilty sweat forming on his temple.

“But you see, Y/N belongs to that type of people who have their what-will-you-be-in-10-years solidly planted in their heads. And it’s highly probable a relationship, much less a wedding, is written in those 10-year plans. Much more, art majors like us are stigmatized to bound for failure because society is still close-minded and deems art won’t feed us. And by the meaning of society, it’s the ‘almighty and noble’ science folks Y/N belongs to. For God’s sake, there’s a lot of movies that have already forecasted science and art don’t mix!”

“Well, I don’t remember any movies—”

Taehyung looks at Hoseok, incredulous. “Dude, there’s like The Theory of Everything—”

“That’s science and faith!”

“Stephen Hawking’s ex-wife sang in a choir. And she also started writing after their divorce! So that’s still art!”

Hoseok was about to retaliate when he feels Jimin clasp a firm hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. Jimin sighs, “Hoseok, we just want you to not regret your decisions in the end. Y/N belongs to those snobbish high-hat people who treat everyone below them like dirt. There’s plenty of other girls out there who are much nicer than Y/N. Nice just like you. For one, why don’t you try giving a chance to the girls who’ve been crushing on you since freshman year? I know a few and they’re actually sweet. Just anyone who’s not Y/N. Seriously, just trust us on this, Hobi.”

Except Hoseok does not. If there is one characteristic to describe Hoseok other than nice and talented, that would be his hard-headedness. He didn’t listen to his parents when they tried to discourage him from taking dance as his major. Hoseok disregarded numerous peers’ suggestions to join a frat so he can “shine more.” He even disregarded the toxic masculinity fraternities promoted by rocking pink overalls with his sparkly ugly sneakers and multicolored acorn pouch (which Jimin told him was the bane of the entire fashion industry) at least once a week. He even changes it up with other colorful ensembles the fashion students make. Hoseok did not even listen to Taehyung when the former told him not to drink before taking their finals in World History because, "no Hoseok, the alcohol does NOT bring back memories.”

And look where his stubbornness got him. Hoseok became one of the greatest dancers his university has ever handled. His sole talent is enough for him to get invited to teach classes in several prestigious art colleges in the country. Hoseok gained more fulfilling and growth-inspiring friendships than surface-level ones offered by frats. He enjoyed more substantial conversations than booze temptation and toxic, trivial fights over games and girls. Hoseok even accidentally created a modeling career with local brands after his viral modeling of a peach acorn-inspired outfit for the project of his fashion major friends. Although him disregarding Taehyung’s reminders was a big mistake as he totally flunked World History, that night actually made Hoseok learn his lesson not to drink before the finals (and also because he learned the alcohol does not bring back memories he actually needed for the exam. But memories of his most embarrassing moments — like the one where he ended up performing in a children’s party as a fairy godmother—complete with the rainbow gown, fairy wings, plastic crown, and wand—because he mixed up the location of the college’s Halloween party with his friend’s family get-together).

So, why would Hoseok listen to Jimin and Taehyung when setting his eyes and heart for Y/N feels like the most right decision he has ever made in his life? Especially when Y/N’s nowhere the high-hat snobbiety concept Jimin put her in. Hoseok is sure about this because he started to see and know her more than anyone else could after the fateful night of the Science Majors’ last year’s Christmas party.

“Is that Y/N?” Hoseok squints his eyes. The person walking towards him is clad in a black coat and indigo satin slip-dress that falls short on her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess and her small glittery satchel is slipping off her shoulders even if she adjusted it again and again. Not to say she’s also limping on her two-inch silver heels. When the girl raises her head and sees him, her face falls into an annoyed scowl. Hoseok right then confirms it is aberrantly, and shockingly, Y/N. At the sight of recognition in his face, Y/N immediately runs away in the opposite direction. Hoseok finds himself already chasing after her before his mind could acknowledge that he is actually running after the campus’ excruciating goody-two-shoes in the ass'o clock of the night.

Hoseok easily catches up to Y/N. He blocks her way, causing her to halt. Hoseok hunches as he breathlessly puffs, “Hey Y/N, why you so fast?”

“No-none of your business Jung Hoseok,” Y/N turns away from him and crosses her arms. Hoseok almost smiles. It is amusing how she effortlessly pulls her usual “intimidator stance” even in such a weird scenario.

“Well, it is my business if you’re wandering on campus grounds in the night and obviously not sober.”

Y/N whips her head towards him, “I am sober. What are you even here for?”

“According to my eyes, you’re clearly drunk. Look,” Hoseok points to her face, “you look red all over and you can’t even look at me straight.”

Y/N slaps his hand away.

Hoseok puts his hands back in his pockets, “You’re clearly doing some beautiful eyes challenge right now.”

Y/N cringes at him but Hoseok continues, “And for your second question, I’m patrolling for the Campus Drunk Patrol.” He smiles and points to the logo on his jacket.

Y/N leans forward and squints at the logo. Seeing her raised brow, Hoseok explains, “We aim to help drunk students sober up before commuting home. We can also escort them to their dorm facades and notify their RAs to come and get them.”

Y/N still has her brow raised, skeptical. Hoseok sighs, “Well, it’s a dead org so I understand why you don’t believe me. If I also learn some org that’s been inactive for five years has suddenly gone active, I will be skeptical, too. But trust me on this, okay? I’ll just walk you around until you’re sober enough to know how to go home. I heard you’re dorming here. I can help you get to your dorm if you want.”

Y/N still looks unconvinced and Hoseok releases a sigh again. He juts his thumb and points to his back, “We have our Patrol Marshal stationed there by the campus gates. He can totes see us here and tell you’re one of the stubborn drunk students who refuse to cooperate with our protocol.”

Hoseok smugly puts his weight on his left foot.“You can refuse and go ahead. But because the marshal doesn’t let drunk people he already caught go home, he will notify the head RA and trust me when I tell you I’ve seen a lot of students end up in bigger trouble for not complying with our joint protocol with the RA Council. Or,” Hoseok smiles, “you could just make our lives easier by letting me help you sober up.”

Y/N looks away, gnawing on her lip. When Hoseok hears a faint “fine” come from her, he has to keep his jaw from hanging open.

Because, why wouldn’t he be flabbergasted?

Y/N L/N, the fearsome Analytical Physics major, is not the sweetest star out there. With a resting bitch face, innateness to give cold replies, gift of the perpetual judging stare, and insensitivity to joke cues, Y/N is one of the hardest people to cooperate with. It is not entirely because she does not put in any effort. No one just found it easy, or tolerable even, to interact with her. Sure, Y/N’s smart, a genius in Hoseok’s eyes. However, what stuck to everyone’s memory is how she unconsciously belittles everyone around her. Y/N gives out unnecessary run-throughs of chemistry concepts about any movie or animation brought up in a conversation. She instantly goes grammar-nazzi on anyone who slips on the rules of English grammar, especially when people make errors concerning the Oxford comma in their papers. She even goes out of her way to explain to her fellow students the physics of how and why they drove or parked badly with their bike or scooter.

But the pinnacle of Y/N’s negative reputation has to be her merciless removal of her senior’s name, Oh Sehun, from the case study required in Communication Media Theories. In her very first year in university, at that. Although her action is justified as Sehun did not contribute anything at all in the group project, this name removal caused outrage among every college student. Sehun, who is actually the college’s renowned quarterback, graduated late and was now behind of his original team who already got into the professionals. All because of Y/N. Hence, the people in the university have started to associate her name with the title “stuck-up-iest bitch to ever walk on Earth.” Some don’t even seem to remember her name. All everyone knew is that Y/N’s one hell of a condescending bitch.

So having Y/N walk silently by his side, cooperating for the first time without reciting her rights based on the constitution with such accuracy in verbatim while passively and implicitly insulting him, Hoseok cannot help to be so shocked.

Noticing the complete silence that has surrounded them two, Hoseok breaks from his trance and leads Y/N to the college’s cafe. It’s already closed, given the lateness of the night, but it has their outdoor metal chairs set-up outside. He lets Y/N plop down on one of the metal seats as he produces a coffee-in-can for her.

“Do you just casually carry around canned coffees with you?”

“No, just when I am on duty for the patrols. Caffeine is the best way to help people sober up fast.” Hoseok inserts an edible straw for her and she grabs the drink.

“I don’t think so,” Y/N mutters, “Human body processes consumed alcohol on its own, thus, it’s processing speed is neither affected nor aided by any exterior substances. With this, there’s no such actual thing as 'sobering up fast.’ It just feels like that because caffeine is a stimulant and hence, counters the sedative effect of alcohol, making you feel alert and appear to be sober.” Y/N takes another sip, “Nevertheless, thanks for the free coffee.”

Hoseok almost gapes. The people were not kidding about how Y/N casually spouts science shit wherever she goes. Although he’s supposed to get tipped off, Hoseok just finds this set-up oddly amusing. He leans forward in his seat and props up his arm on the table to cup his face. “Anyway, why are you out in the late of the night?”

Y/N gives him an unamused look, “Because I was obviously partying. Is there any other party in the campus right now than the Science Majors’ Christmas party?”

“You’re right,” Hoseok chuckles, “but what I mean is, why are you already outside? The party doesn’t end 'til 2 A.M.”

“I just decided I want to go home.”

“Why?”

Y/N drops her drink on the table, “Are you just gonna ask me 'why’ everytime?!”

Hoseok tilts his head and smiles, “Talking with drunk people is part of our protocol in sobering up. So, yeah, I’m gonna ask why every time until the redness on your nose and cheeks subsides a little.”

“Fine,” Y/N hisses. She gives Hoseok a steely glare, “This night is the first time I’ve done something so stupid such as going to a party in an attempt to expand my connections. It turns out everyone still irrationally hates me about Oh Sehun’s name removal and they refused to interact with me. They kept sending me glares while I just pathetically stood in the corner of the room for the duration of the party, dumbly holding a cup of some alcoholic drink I just realized 30 minutes ago was what you call ‘spiked.’ These pretty heels I wore hurt my ankles and toes all for nothing.” Y/N covers her face with her palms, “God, I don’t even know why I’m opening up about these things with you when it’s just the first time I talked with you. Maybe it’s just because I’m just drunk, god, it’s so stupid–”

“It’s not stupid,” Hoseok interjects and Y/N raises her head from her hands. Hoseok smiles, “When there’s too much alcohol in our system, we get to do stuff we never knew we can. And sometimes, they are things we really desire to do but dare not let out in the open, afraid of what others may think. And it may come off as stupid as you’re letting your heart do the talking instead of your brain. But you know what? You have to be stupid sometimes to acknowledge what your brain may be missing out on. Plus,” Hoseok stretches open his arms wide, “there’s just the two of us here so no one can really judge you because hey, I’m just all ears here. After all, I’m just an officer of the Campus Drunk Patrol helping you sober up.” At the sight of Y/N’s pursed lips and eyes set on the coffee beside her, looking as if she’s convinced (and it looks like it’s not like her to admit it), Hoseok smiles wider and leans forward. “Now, back to your story. Why did you decide to go to a party?”

“Because,” Y/N sighs, “I don’t know, @keanu_reeves_is_the_real_daddy from Hoboken said in Reddit that going to parties is a great opportunity to make friends.” Y/N looks down at her hands and interlocks them, “I’m just–I’m just desperate to get some friends. I’m already in second year, and still, no one wants to be with me. I often talk about how I don’t care whether people like me or not. Most of the time, I really do not care at all. But sometimes...it also gets lonely when you feel everyone seems to hate you.”

“Well, I’m not everyone.”

Y/N looks up at him, frowning, “That’s a great joke, Hoseok. I saw you hanging with Jimin just yesterday and I heard my name as the subject and "stick-in-the-ass bitch” as the predicate in a couple of sentences.“

"Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but it was just Jimin who talked bad about you. Did you hear me say your name and 'stick-in-the-ass’ in one sentence?”

Y/N glares at him. She then rips her gaze away from him to set them back on her interlocked fingers. “What are you trying to imply, Hoseok?”

"I’m trying to imply, if you want to have a friend, I’m willing to be one.”

"But you already got lots of friends.”

Hoseok smiles, “That doesn’t mean I have no room left for one more.”

Y/N gives him that skeptic look again and Hoseok snorts. “Hey, I’m being serious here. I really want to be your friend if you’d like. And no, it’s not because I pity you.”

Y/N raises a brow at him in disbelief and Hoseok purses his lips. He raises his hands in surrender, “Ooohkay, maybe like 0.001 percent I do, but 99.999 percent I just don’t like how everyone hates you for something that is not actually your fault. I really want to get to know you if you’d let me.”

Y/N just stares at him and Hoseok, for the first time in his life save for the days he’s answering written exams, has literally no idea what to do. Is Y/N angry at him for blurting out those things? Or is she aggravated he seemed plastic? But Hoseok knows he meant every single thing he said because first and foremost, he cannot lie even if he wanted to. He’s a goddamn horrible liar that anyone will know he’s lying before he can even start to lie. Second, he always says the first thing that comes to his mind because, in the majority of his life, he is incapable of thinking first before doing something. And third, Hoseok really meant what he said. He’s always been curious about Y/N. Jimin and Taehyung always talk ill about her and from the numerous negative shits he hears from them, he can’t help but think that maybe, her reputation is just one big hell of a rumor. It’s just impossible that so many rumors and negative comments about someone who he rarely sees outside the university, to be true.

Hoseok knows because he also has his fair share of rumors he has struggled to disprove. Like how he “cheated” in dance contests because no one can’t believe someone is just so exceptionally talented that they can win every single competition they join. Or how he “slept around” with almost half of the female population in the university just because he has lots of female friends and he loves to joke around with eggplant and saliva emojis in his texts. It’s hard to be contained in such one definitive title, much more a heavily negative one. Hoseok knew what it felt and it feels it’s just wrong to stay as a standbyer while the entire university jeers on Y/N for such a trivial reason.

“Do-do you really mean that?”

Hoseok looks at Y/N and nods. “Yes, I do.”

Something wet drops on his jacket and Hoseok looks up at the sky. The sky is pitch black, save for the white inklets dotting the atmosphere, lightening up the dark horizon along with the glow of sparkling snowflakes. He turns to Y/N and smiles, “Oh look, it’s the first snow.”

Y/N returns his smile this time. She tells him she wants to stay for ten more minutes to appreciate the snow before going home. Hoseok grins at her and says he’s got enough time to spare before his duty ends.

The next day, Y/N’s frowning at Hoseok as the latter awkwardly holds his lunch tray next to her table.

“Uhhh, aren’t you standing by the wrong table? Your friends sit over there.”

“No,” Hoseok quips. “Jimin and Taehyung are not seated anywhere here because their lunches are scheduled way later today. And, this, in my opinion,” Hoseok scoots to Y/N’s side and sits down beside her, “is the perfect table.” Hoseok digs in his lunch and grins at her, “You should probably start eating now, too, y'know? Your food’s gonna get cold.”

“I–” Y/N bites her lip and look away before she refocuses a glare at his face, “Are you really taking seriously your joke last night?”

“It’s not a joke,” Hoseok retorts, dropping his utensils. “I’m serious about everything I said."

"But I didn’t mean mine. I’m drunk, remember?”

“If you really didn’t mean them,” Hoseok looks at her, “then you can just tell me to leave. I’ll do whatever you say.”

Y/N stares at him, brows scrunched together as if conflicted. She looks down on her hands on her lap and sighs, “I…don’t really want you to…leave. I’m sorry, I just…thought you’re just playing with me. You know all of this is still new to me. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Hoseok chuckles, “no need to be so serious. We can take things slowly as long as you’d like.” Y/N pulls up a small smile and Hoseok grins. “Let’s finish our lunches and then we can look at memes. Memes are essential building blocks in friendships.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Taehyung and I became friends after we accidentally sent each other hilarious anti-government blinking man memes.”

It is needless to say the entire university goes berserk later when they find Y/N, the campus bitch, and Hoseok, the university’s sunshine boy, guffawing over chemistry memes during lunch. Hoseok does not understand a thing, but he enjoys laughing with Y/N as she passionately explains to him each concept and why they are funny.

It is true that Y/N wasn’t the dearest person in the world. Hoseok learned this after weeks of dealing with her unintentional snarkiness and unnecessary science lessons that may seem insulting and offensive to others. But through the time he got to befriend her, Hoseok learns Y/N is just too smart for her own good. Y/N always goes around like an encyclopedia because she doesn’t know what else to say when she wants to find common grounds with other people. It is just unfortunate that Y/N cannot speak of anything that does not involve quantum mechanics and chemical structures. Meanwhile, her unintended snarkiness is always directed to people’s redundancy and anomalies in their speech. Hoseok found out about this as soon as February rolled in, that it has to do with the restrictive childhood Y/N had. This, he discovered when Professor Minyoung Park called for him after his Science 11 GE class.

“Hoseok, I see you getting close with Y/N, these days.”

“Yes ma'am,” Hoseok replies. He sits on the chair in front of her desk.

“Oh, then you must have been familiar with how she can get,” Ms. Park leans forward, “not so…friendly around people. I know she and her mind of hers can be a little too much for others.”

Hoseok’s forehead furrows. How did Professor Park know? Although Y/N’s bad reputation has easily spread like wildfire among college students, not many professors or any of the university staff have shown any interest in her life other than her impressive academic standing. Hoseok asks, “How did you know, Ms. Park?”

The 40-year old professor leans back and smiles. “Would you believe I used to tutor Y/N L/N back in middle school?”

“No way,” Hoseok’s jaw drops open.

Ms. Park chuckles, “Yes, it’s true. I know, what a coincidence right? I remember how that pretty girl used to be so insecure about her braces.”

“Yeah, she must be so…adorable back then,” Hoseok looks away bashful. He’s not used associating Y/N with such adjectives. Saying them aloud feels too weird on his tongue.

Ms. Park’s voice makes him turn back to her. “Until now she is. It’s just a shame how she did not outgrow her…usual speech style. But in her defense, it’s not entirely her fault.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen. His curiosity is instantly piqued. “What do you mean, Ms. Park?”

“Well, Y/N L/N is brought up in a home…quite not friendly for children growing up. The L/Ns is a prestigious family. Not for their wealth, but for their remarkable lineage of geniuses. Y/N’s great grandparents are renowned mathematician whizzes. Her grandparents own Fields medals for their remarkable contributions in mathematics. Moreover, Y/N’s parents are well-respected chemists in almost every pharmaceutical congregation. Even their relatives are families of renowned doctors and engineers. From over ten years of tutoring her, I noticed how expectations pile up upon the short shoulders of young Y/N. Every single school day, Y/N has to attend cram schools and private tutoring after her classes to ensure she stays on top of the overall batch standing. She also has to be exposed to upper-class parties at such a young age which I think does not help anyone at all. Especially a child. All the people ever do there is brag about their achievements, scour for new families to ally with or manipulate, and eye each other’s mistakes so they can prove publicly how better they are than everyone else.” Ms. Park looks at Hoseok in the eyes, “Believe me, I used to dream about attending such parties until I finally learned how they go when I’ve been invited by the L/Ns. And with Y/N being a single child, all eyes were on her. So any room for mistakes is non-existent. Her parents assured her to grow like the perfect daughter they wanted her to be by making sure her movements are always constantly monitored and kept in check. You think Y/N studied here because this is just a prestigious school? No. The L/Ns wanted to send her abroad. To Harvard. Y/N refused and convinced them instead she’ll study here because I work here. And her parents trust me that I can be their eyes to see Y/N’s progress.”

Hoseok nods but he cannot help but let his mouth hang open at everything he’s discovering right now. No one really knew anything about Y/N. And suddenly out of nowhere, on some random Thursday afternoon, he is introduced into a pandora box of history where everything about her suddenly seems to make sense.

Ms. Park must have noticed his troubled face so she reaches out and holds Hoseok’s hand. “Hoseok, I’m not telling you these to pressure you. In fact, I am happy Y/N finally found someone who can listen to her and understand her, instead of watching her like a glass-cased perfect doll. I’m just telling you all these not to excuse the mistakes she has done but for you to understand where she’s coming from, especially when interacting with her can be difficult sometimes. So I hope you won’t give up on her, Hoseok. I know you’re a good kid. I just want Y/N to finally enjoy herself like every other college student out there.”

And Hoseok, with his ever characteristic stubbornness did not give up on you.

“What do you mean I cannot state the faulty quantum mechanics in Antman to Taehyung?!” Y/N scowls at Hoseok, fingers frozen on the book she has mid-taken away from the shelf.

“Because you will break Taehyung’s heart,” Hoseok purses his lips and steps nearer to her, almost cornering her to the back of the bookshelf. “And can you lower your voice? We’re in a library.”

“For the same reason you should also back up a bit as I do not fancy you borderline sexually harrassing me.”

“Sexual harassment?!” Hoseok whisper-yells, “I’m stepping closer to you because I feel the need to whisper louder for you to get my point that you should not explain whatever Antman’s faulty quantum shit to Taehyung because that will make him angry. And sad!”

“Why will he be angry?” Y/N sticks her nose up and crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t he feel grateful I am adding heuristic value to his existing knowledge?”

Hoseok drags a hand down his face, “Well, I didn’t say you cannot explain some facts to Taehyung. I’m just saying you don’t tell him those things in a matter-of-factly way you always do because he’ll think you’re insulting him for watching such movies.”

“How should I say them then?” Y/N quips back.

Y/N learns the answer to her question before she knew she already did it. She realizes it when she gets out of her film class and Hoseok, who has been waiting for her last period to finish, asks her how did it go.

“Well, I told him 'The film Antman is quite weird.’”

“And what did he say?”

“Taehyung grinned at me and high-fived me.”

“Well then, it was successful. Much better than how you initially decided to do it,” Hoseok grins.

“But still…I called Ant Man weird, I’m still perplexed why Taehyung is pleased.”

“Calling something weird is a common expression to us,” Hoseok starts and Y/N tilts her head. Hoseok explains further, “’Weird’ can mean as a good endearing weird or an insulting ‘weird.’ If you added statistics of probability and some laws with calling something ‘weird,’ it will sound like 'Hypothesis one is proven: the movie is confirmed to be bullshit because of unquestionable proof.’ And that will appear insulting because you are not giving room for others’ opinions to be valid. It will make you look you’re belittling them if you said it that way. But today, you did not. See?” Hoseok smiles, “you do not have to state 100 percent what you really meant. Just a bit of truth you find essential for others to know is already enough for a small talk.”

Y/N nods, her lips morphed into an amused “oh.”

Hoseok grins as he puts his hands on his waist, “Trust me on this. I became Mr. Congeniality last year for a reason.”

“What does it have to do with making small talk?”

“It means, I am the expert in making small talk.”

***

“C'mon, Y/N, let’s go to the spring festival. Please, please, please, pleaseeee.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N pulls her hand from his grip, “I have to study for our finals.”

“But, Y/N, it’s too early for that. The finals is yet to come 'til next month! Look at me, I do not feel any pressure to study yet.”

“But that’s because you do not have any academic standing to maintain.”

Hoseok’s face falls and Y/N immediately rectifies her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hoseok. Of course, I know you also value your class standing, given your program and all. I’m sorry I’m being insensitive again.”

Hoseok breaks into a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m just fucking around with you! You’re partially right though, I don’t have an academic standing to maintain but a performative one. Although I still have to keep my grades up so I can continue studying here. Anyway,” Hoseok grins at Y/N, offering his hand out, “I only accept apologies in the form of accompanying me to the spring festival.”

“Fine, Hoseok,” Y/N begrudgingly accepts his hand. But Hoseok cannot miss the small smile forming on her lips.

“Don’t fret tho,” He boops her nose and she cringes at him, “we can insert some Q&A sessions later so you can do a bit of studying if you’d still like.”

“How will we do that?”

Y/N learns the answer to that when she finds themselves screaming from the opposite ends of the giant boat ride.

“HOSEOK, DAMN YOU!”

The boat tips and her stomach drops but all she can hear is Hoseok screaming.

“WRONG, Y/N. The answer to the drilling ship which can dig 'til the mantle of the earth IS CHIKYU! NOW, off to the next question. What are CYANOBACTERIA?!!!”

But Hoseok does more than just sticking by Y/N’s side and not giving up on her. He falls in love with her.

Through the months he has become Y/N’s friend, Hoseok cannot help but be endeared by her. The things about her he never thought will come as close to what he calls cute suddenly grows on him. It grows too much that he lives off every single one of them. Even if it usually ends with him getting roasted. He used to get frustrated by Y/N’s never-ending witty comebacks. Now, his heart started singing during their bicker-banters that Hoseok even started to look forward to their bickering. Y/N’s smile that Hoseok used to think was a standard horror level of creepy is now all he could dream about when he’s asleep, and even when he’s awake. The way Y/N laughs at him, or smiles when she sees him were heart-warming. Until they upped 100 million levels and now they have become cataclysmic for his heart. The way Y/N patiently teaches him his lessons, or how her science-y jokes and memes become funny was something Hoseok used to overlook as trivial. Now, he couldn’t wait for the days he’ll bring his notebooks to the library and stare at Y/N’s face while she teaches him quantum mechanics and chemical structures.

Y/N’s small “tokens of appreciation,” as what she called it, like her handmade ‘thank you’ cards she gives Hoseok every month, or her invitations for Hoseok to accompany her to some street event or nearby dance event, or as uneventful as a new food stall that has opened in the university were something Hoseok never put much thought on. Now, they’re Hoseok’s source of both happiness and headaches as they make his heart fly and his brain ache for thinking too much into her actions. The way Y/N looks at him like never someone else has before—so attentive and focused in everything he says as if everything that comes from his mouth has so much worth listening to. Even if it’s a disgusting tale of how he almost shitted his pants before their science exam because he didn’t listen to Jimin when he told him to stop binge-eating spicy wings as a coping mechanism to stress, Y/N listens. This used to be something Hoseok treats as his special privilege as her friend. But now, it has become a national treasure he does not want to share with others. Especially with Namjoon, his roommate, whom Y/N managed to befriend because the former is a Biology major who’s on the same level as Y/N’s intellectual prowess. God, Hoseok cannot even count on his hands the number of times he’s been conflicted if it was jealousy on Namjoon’s effortless way to make Y/N laugh, or petty anger because he cannot even understand their jokes.

Hoseok doesn’t know how or why he suddenly felt all of these things for Y/N. It just happened. And so is how he accidentally blurted it out to her during one of their conversations, despite Jimin and Taehyung’s adamant warnings not to ask her out.

"And whenever I use the microscope in my room, I’m always scared turning the coarse knob so much. It will be horrifying to see the objective lens break the slide and the coverslip.”

“Y/N, I like you.”

YN’s jaw goes slack and she stares at him, eyes wide. Hoseok almost feels perspiration dot his entire hairline for what feels like ten whole minutes in purgatory. Will Y/N leave? Will she scream at him, laugh at him even for his audacity? Will she reject him? Of course she will, what is he thinking? Taehyung and Jimin are right. Y/N is smart and he is too dumb for her to even fulfill at least an ounce of her standards. Y/N is respectable and he is a shameless clown–

“I…am allowing you to be sexually attracted to me, Hoseok.”

“W-what?”

“I said,” Y/N looks straight into his eyes, “I am giving you permission to like me, Hoseok.”

Hoseok balks. “P-permission? W-why do I need permission?”

“Because, if you’re going to like me, I need you to know I am acknowledging your sexual attraction to me seriously,” Y/N stands up, putting her hands in the pockets of your coat. “It will be a waste if you do not want a long-term commitment. I do not have time to dwell on anything less than that.”

Lucky for Y/N, so does Hoseok and he wastes no time proving it to her. For the course of six months, Hoseok courts her in the most possible best Hoseok-way. Y/N lived the majority of her life within suffocating walls surrounded by academics, titles, honors, and people waiting for her to fall. Hoseok wanted to take her with him on a break (and a possible future lifestyle) away from them all. So he takes Y/N to carnivals, dance events, and festivals–ranging from streets decorated in cheap glowing lanterns to grander events that have remarkable fireworks displays.

Hoseok shows Y/N himself at his most vulnerable and strongest. He lets her watch him perform alone in practice rooms as he expresses the things muddled in his head, things he never dares to say to anyone else. Y/N’s been with him when he broke down due to his anxiety concerning his not-so-impressive acads. She was also with him in his embarrassing drunk adventures. Hell, Y/N even participated in his crew’s weird end-of-the-sem party. She let Hoseok dress them two like the two robbers from Home Alone–complete with the rageddy cut gloves and dirty face makeup. But, Y/N has also seen Hoseok’s crew’s successful university tours, the exclusive events he got invited to, and his dance recitals that got many theater and entertainment scouts crowding the room he’s dancing in.

Hoseok shows all of himself to Y/N. Willingly and so transparently, that in turn, she started to show him her self, too. Y/N let him see her in her utter glory. She let him see her receiving awards from various electronics competitions and exhibitions, her creating the first demo of her portable printer and scanner machine that earned many positive reviews from numerous investors, and her getting featured in not just the university’s newspaper or any other school’s newspapers, but the city’s news for a composting machine she invented. And, Y/N also let Hoseok see her at her worst. She let him see her get told off by one of the people she had unconsciously insulted in the hallways, her failing her Communication GE classes, and her having a panic attack when her parents announced yet again another party of scholars who wish to see what she’s been up to lately.

These things made Y/N realize Hoseok was serious about her and she, in return, has started to cherish the golden boy who would never leave her alone for the day until she’s crying from sheer laughter and happiness.

However, it is the small things Hoseok does that really really gets to her.

Hoseok remembers the small details Y/N slips in during their conversations.

“Hey, you are not supposed to eat that,” a fork clashes with Y/N’s own, preventing her from reaching the delectable dish.

“This pasta?” Y/N looks up at Hoseok.

“It has chopped shrimps. I asked Seokjin about it and he said it has prawns.” Hoseok grabs Y/N’s hand and leads her to the other side of the buffet. There, he gets her pasta with white sauce, this time, garnished in bacon. “Here, eat this, instead. It may not taste like the one with the shrimp but at least you won’t get allergies and you can enjoy the rest of the night instead of chilling out at the hospital watching sad re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.”

***

“Hoseok, you won’t believe how fascinating my yield turned out to be, like–Hoseok, what are you doing?

Hoseok pauses in his fumbling and blinks at Y/N. He looks down back at his bag and sighs. “I was hoping to keep this a surprise but oh well.”

He pulls up something from his bag and Y/N’s left gaping when he hands her a box of baked cookies. He rubs his neck, the tip of his ears reddening under her gaze. “I remember you telling me it’s been a while since you ate cookies. My mom baked a lot for us so here, have some. I know you’re on some ridiculous diet your parents told you to take. But I hope you could give yourself a cheat day and just eat and enjoy the day. Your parents aren’t here.”

Hoseok never fails to check up on her.

“Hey, how long have you been hunched over your desk now?” Hoseok’s voice blares from Y/N’s phone’s speakers and she sighs.

“About five hours now, I think?”

“Okay. Why don’t you take a break for ten minutes before going back to the grind? You told me your back is being an ass to you for two weeks now. Give it some rest. Also, drink some water.”

“Okay mom, will do,” Y/N chuckles over the line.

“Okay my daughter,” Hoseok sing-songs and she snorts. “I’ll call later and check up on you. Don’t dare to not take a break. I know where your dorm is and I’ll break into your window if I have to.”

“Okay, okay, will do, my personal health support system.”

“Glad to be of your service, ma'am.”

***

Y/N sighs as she throws her bag onto her bed. Today is a beat day. Mr. David was sour and he poured all his frustration on their class by giving out unnecessary lectures instead of teaching the new lesson. Y/N guesses she’ll have to self-study again for a quiz the prof has irrationally scheduled for tomorrow. And oh, Ms. Peterson also gave out a heavy paper late. It will force Y/N to cram for it in two days as submission date is just the day after tomorrow. Why is every deadline piling up today? It’s not yet even finals week yet!

Y/N plops onto her desk with a heavy sigh. She’ll end up having to do an all-nighter again — wait, what’s that doing there? There’s a pack of sandwiches in a clear food container sitting on top of her desk, beside her notebooks. Y/N doesn’t remember buying one or requesting her rommate, Jae In, to buy her one. Curious, she picked it up and turned it around. That’s when Y/N sees a yellow post-it attached on the plastic container.

“Hey Y/N. I thought of you today and decided to make you a sandwich. This is edible, I assure you. I asked my cooking mama friend Seokjin to come over and help me. Eat this snack before you do your work. I know you always start work right after coming home from your classes. I hope you eat on time and not skip on meals.

With super duper mega love,

Hoseok 😘”

And Hoseok helps Y/N to the best he can, whenever he can, especially about things she’s passionate about but no one takes time to really understand.

"Hey Y/N,” Hoseok greets as he plops down next to her seat in the library.

“Hoseok?” Y/N glances up at him, eyes wide, “What are you doing here? You told me you have practice today.”

“Eh, the members cancelled on me today. And also, I’ve missed you, so I figured why not visit you.” Hoseok grins at her and she momentarily forgets how to breathe. Y/N doesn’t know when Hoseok started to have that effect on her, it just happened. And although it is starting to be an inconvenience regarding how she becomes a nervous wreck under his gaze, she weirdly cannot find herself complaining against it.

Hoseok leans forward, breaking her trance. “Now, what should we study today?”

“Uh-uhm, cellular mechanisms. I wanted to learn more about cancer cells.”

“Cellular mechanisms it is, then. Want me to help you make diagrams?”

Y/N nods and Hoseok grins, “I see the skills of artist Hoseok is not about to die anytime soon, eh?”

***

“How does that work, Y/N?”

“Well, it converts the mechanical energy from every step you take into electrical energy. It’s not yet finished so I’m still figuring out how many more parts I need for this to work. My previous demos have a lot of mistakes.” Right at the same time, a bolt pops off. Y/N runs a hand over her face, “And a lot of malfunctioning parts.”

Hoseok scratches his head. “I don’t know about any energy conversions but I know how to screw well?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A-a statement. I can fix what we have for now while you revise your design. Whaddya think?”

“That sounds good.” Y/N turns around and heads for her blue prints. But before she can pick up her measuring materials, she turns back to Hoseok, meeting his gaze as he’s mid-picking up a screw driver.

“Thank you, Hoseok for assisting me on this. I know it’s just a personal project and I may be taking too much of your time when you should probably be resting at your dorm.”

“Pssh, you’re not taking too much of my time. I am enjoying my time with you. Also, it’s not just a personal project. It is a personal project so of course, it deserves to have gigantic importance to you. And it will turn out great because I know it will. Now go let’s get these revisions done so we can do another test run.”

Hoseok has been a wonderful friend, an amazing supporter, and a sincere person who never feels ashamed of showing Y/N what he felt. That is all she needed for her not to doubt anymore and accept his confession.

“Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok huffs, hands tucked deep in his red parka. “Why did you tell me to meet up in the park? It’s cold out. Can’t it wait 'til tomorrow?”

“No, it cannot,” Y/N faces the man, brows scrunched, her lips red from the number of times she has bitten it. “Hoseok, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“W-what is it?”

“I…am reciprocating yo-your profession of your sexual attraction to me.”

“What?”

“I said, I am reciprocating–” Y/N’ bites her lip and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she gives Hoseok the most focused stare she can ever give. “Hoseok, I am accepting your love confession. I like you, too.”

Hoseok stares at Y/N, eyes wide, mouth agape. And for too long that Y/N thought the cold must have frozen him all over.

“Hoseok, why are you staring like that? I am telling you, I like you too–hmppf!”

Hoseok is kissing her, his lips pressed softly against hers in a gentle peck. Before Y/N could process things in her head about what to do when the boy she likes started kissing her, Hoseok is already coaxing her lips to dance with his. And before long, Y/N is returning him a kiss with the same ardor as his. It’s not like her to suddenly make out with someone so publicly. Hell, it’s not even like her to kiss someone with such passion that the warmth she feels on her chest comes close as to the heat of the sun. But as Y/N stays in Hoseok’s embrace in the middle of the frosted park which contrasts their warm chests, everything just feels so right.

So right, as if fate just planned this very night for the two of them. Because, as their kiss comes into an end, Y/N and Hoseok both jolt at the drop of wetness that land on their heads. Y/N looks up and sees the familiar soft white snow falling from the dark night sky. The first snow. Right then deja vu sets in of how it was just one year ago she met this giggling boy in front of her at the very same time of the year.

“I guess the universe wants us to be together, too.” Hoseok smiles.

Y/N grins at him and sinks deeper into his embrace. “As preposterous that sounds given that the universe is, literally speaking, a no-higher living being, it is more preposterous that I am finding myself agreeing to and blushing because of this.”

“I can’t understand what you said but I think it means you like it too so I’m deciding this is one of the best blush-worthy moments I ever had,” Hoseok kisses the top of Y/N’s head, “and whatever you say won’t stop me from taking back what I said.” Y/N nuzzles her nose against his chest, smiling at the way she cannot tell her heartbeat apart from his–the beats beneath their chests in sync despite the incongruity in her words.

***

Loving Hoseok is easy. He is charming, generous, understanding, and everything Y/N ever wanted. Even more, nothing really changed from their friendship, just the addition of cheesy pick-up lines, sweet kisses here and there, hot make-out sessions which more often than not escalate into passionate (and very amazing) love-making. And Y/N loves her relationship with him as well for this. Because even if Hoseok succeeds in making her a soft mush for him, she cannot live her life without having him be the best-est friend she could ever have in her life.

But from all the things Y/N loves about Hoseok, her most favorite has to be his utter transparency. What she sees in him, is what she gets. Hoseok is unabashed in proclaiming his feelings for her. He does not get embarrassed in showing Y/N his love for her. And, Hoseok does not keep secrets from her. He just willingly tells everything about him to her, no euphemisms, no lies. Y/N guesses this is probably the reason why their fights never last too long. Moreover, this quality of his makes up for Y/N’s inability to effectively express her thoughts and feelings. He taught Y/N pure utter honesty that so many people have stigmatized for naivety, but actually felt so amazing. He also taught Y/N to trust and let down her walls for people so they can be able to love her. Hoseok inspires and motivates Y/N to become a better version of herself, not only for the sake of others, but also for herself, and she cannot be grateful enough for that.

Titles didn’t matter with Hoseok, with Y/N, and their relationship. What only matters is their labels for each other–boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers loved and in love. Hoseok does not encrypt his messages in a way that would match Y/N’s mental capacity – He just talks with her like the way he is, nonsense and eggplant emojis and all. Hoseok does not burden Y/N with heavy, unreasonable expectations. He just loves her and lets her be whatever she wants. He just stays by Y/N’s side as she freely learns from and works on her mistakes like every flawed human being. With Hoseok, Y/N knew what she deserves and she started to live her life the way she has always dreamed of–so flawed but so perfectly Y/N L/N who is unafraid of what the future may bring to her.

However, not everyone cannot fully comprehend Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok. Loving Hoseok may be easy but the environment surrounding their relationship is an entirely opposite scenario. For Hoseok’s and Y/N’s disregard of titles, does not guarantee everyone else around their relationship will do the same.

Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok spread throughout the campus like a Jeffree Star fight-controversy with another YouTuber in 2x speed. The entire university has gone berserk yet again, unable to fathom how someone who shines so bright like Hoseok can be together with someone like Y/N who dims other’s lights. And for other people, they cannot understand how such a happy-go-lucky academically-challenged student like Hoseok can even amuse such no-shit, genius brain of Y/N.

Almost everyone has something to say about their relationship. And, most often than not, they are negative. It didn’t help anything in their relationship as Y/N is already insecure as to why Hoseok even chose her when he can have any woman he wished. Y/N knows she’s difficult to be with. She struggles with expressing her feelings and thoughts. She even feels like she’s making things too hard for Hoseok. You see, Y/N’s a safe player. In whatever grounds she’s in — academics, social life, family ties — she always plays safe. Y/N finds it hard to not be so, especially when all her life, she has been groomed to be a person well-liked by everybody else — a person safe from any negative impression that may tarnish her reputation. So, when things get a little bit too hard with Hoseok, Y/N finds herself automatically heading for the exit.

Just like in one Wednesday night in August. Y/N had her fair share of fights with Hoseok. From the difficulties that tie with his popularity, her inability to show her feelings to him that sometimes makes him question her love, his procrastination and occasional lack of care for his academics, her nature to obsess over her studies that she tends to forget herself and everyone around her, to his numerous female friends who have the audacity to still flirt with him even if they all know he’s dating her — Y/N and Hoseok have fought about them all within their seven months of dating. And sure, they were already pretty bad fights given that they were immensely serious with Y/N and Hoseok ending up screaming at each other, giving each other cold shoulders, and ignoring each other for at most (usually) five days. But this Wednesday night was not like any of ther previous fights. Because this time, Y/N told Hoseok she wanted to break up with him.

“Will you stop for a second, Y/N?!”

Y/N swiftly turns around, tears brimming her swollen red eyes, “What do you want, Hoseok? I already said what I need to say. I am tired of constantly being the bad guy whenever we fight. I am tired of this, of you. I want to break up.”

“No, you don’t mean that,” Hoseok almost cries. He looks equally devastated as her — swollen eyes, pale face, trembling fingers. “N-no, you don’t mean that,” he repeats, this time, his voice breaking.

“Of course I mean them, Hoseok,” Y/N spits, “I never say things I do not mean. You know me.”

“I know you,” Hoseok retorts, “that’s why I am telling you right now you don’t mean telling me you’re tired of our relationship, of me. That you want to b-break up. B-because you’re Y/N,” he breathes out. “You seem cold but you actually care. You do not speak your thoughts or feelings aloud but act on them. Okay, maybe you speak them out, but you say it in a way most people do not understand so that still does not count. But, Y/N,” Hoseok reaches for her hand before she can even think of shaking off his hold, “I know you love me. Deep inside the deepest of your hypothalamus, like you said, I believe you love me. Or else, you wouldn’t stay when I told you to watch me dance alone, frustrated with the world. You wouldn’t put in effort befriending Taehyung and Jimin despite knowing what they all said about you in the past. You wouldn’t have told me you wanted to come with me to my hometown and meet my family for my dad’s birthday. And,” Hoseok looks down at his feet, “you wouldn’t have stayed with me this long knowing how annoying I can be and what everyone else has to say about us. So please, Y/N. Just please…stay. Let’s talk it out together. Don’t just break up with me. Please don’t just l-leave me alone.”

When Hoseok looks up at Y/N, it is with his brows scrunched together, eyes glazed over, and form almost kneeling in front of her. He holds her hands so tight, but yet so gentle, as if afraid if he clasped her fingers tighter, it will be too suffocating that she’ll slip away from him. He just looks at her and she cannot help but return his gaze. Y/N realizes right then, it may have been a bad decision to do so. For all she could see in his eyes is her reflection. Her and only her. It even seems as if he’s trying to keep the entirety of her as vivid as a memory can be. And maybe it’s because it’s the way he unabashedly tells her everything he loves about her. Or the way he remembers every single detail about her. Or how he knows her so well despite their relationship blooming at such a young age. But, they are all enough for Y/N to hold his hands tighter and let him engulf HER in his arms.

“H-Hobi–”

“S-see? You even still call me like that,” Hoseok mutters above her head and Y/N bites her lip as she clutches onto his jacket tighter.

“Hobi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean them. I’m not tired of you. I’m not tired of u-us. I do not want to break up with you. Not at all. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Y/N lets out a sob and Hoseok hugs her tighter, running a hand over her hair, knowing it calms her down. “It’s just that everything’s been too much lately. The-the way your friends–”

“What did they do?” Hoseok’s voice deepens close into a low growl. Y/N gulps. “Please tell me, Y/N,” Hoseok says softly as he cups her face in his warm hands. Y/N bites her lip and looks away. She does not want to be that type of girlfriend who instigates a fight between their significant other and their friends. She does not want Hoseok to have a bad blood with people he cares about. But then, Y/N remembers their fight two months ago. That night when she confronted Hoseok about the consecutive late nights he has spent in the practice room, neglecting his studies and even his own health for the past two weeks. The moment Y/N cornered him about it, Hoseok broke down and told her everything — how he lacked the motivation to perform well in his recitals and how his course adviser told him to pull his shit together before he fucks up the nearing international dance competition.

“She told me that I’m dating you right now but why can’t I even pull my shit together like you do. That she doesn’t understand why you’re even dating me when you can date far more competent guys. That sooner or later, you’re going to break up with me. Because,” Hoseok sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his cheeks, a tear slipping down them instead, “look at me. I’m so sloppy. I’m such a loser—”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N interrupts him and Hoseok jolts. “You…you’re not a loser. Sloppy, yes, sometimes,” Hoseok winces and Y/N grabs his arms and pulls him toward her so she can hug him tight. “Hoseok, listen to me. I’m your lover. No one else’s but yours. I love you and I will not leave you. I do not care about other guys, if they are more competent or whatever. After all, competency is just a social construct designed to promote the societal standards that aim for conformity.” Y/N disentangles herself from him to cup his face in her hands. “Hoseok, you are not a loser. And, you’ll never be. How can you be at least an inch of one? You were the one who led countless competitions which won our university so many awards. Almost ALL the trophies in our campus’ Hall of Honor were all thanks to you. You were the one who helped our fashion design majors grab an opportunity with various labels after your runway a year ago became viral. You were also the one responsible for resurrecting countless dead orgs with actually good goals. They even received rewards from the local government because of the projects you arranged! You’re not a loser, Hobi. In fact, you are the opposite of loser. It’s just your prof is an ungrateful bitch, demeaning you like that when you’ve brought glory to her name as your program adviser. What a fucking asshole, I could have punched her in the face and—”

Hoseok detaches his lips from hers and smiles. “I can’t believe I’m starting to rub off of you. You just said your first curse word. Two even!”

“Damn you, Hoseok. I’m being serious.”

“And so am I. Thank you for cheering me up, Y/N. This is why I love you so much!”

Hoseok has always been honest to Y/N and she decides it’s only right for her to do the same.

Y/N looks up at him. “Nayeon, Sungyoon, and…Sara cornered me yesterday and I thought it will be about what you are recently up to. Why you were absent at yesterday’s practice. It turned out they did this high school toxic open-forum-like session where they told me all my shits and why I shouldn’t hang out you. They said you were no longer the Hoseok you used to be because I kept dragging you down. That I…do not deserve you and you should be with girls like you. And you know what, I thought so, too. Because, you have far better things ahead from you than tying you down here with me.”

“No one can tell what you deserve or not, Y/N,” Hoseok retorts. “Only you can. And, I know what you are thinking right now maybe the opposite of what you really think about yourself. But if I could help, I think you totally deserve me. Even more than that, honestly. Because, Y/N, you are not tying me down anywhere. In fact you are tying me up. Not literally but figuratively. Okay” Hoseok closes his eyes, “I know it doesn’t make sense—whatever I say doesn’t make sense on the regular basis, so what’s the difference—but, what I mean to say is, Y/N, you are keeping me afloat. You are keeping my head up from the expectations and shitstorms that is plaguing me. You are helping me stay alive and keep pushing through all the difficulties I face. And for that, I am eternally grateful for you. So,” Hoseok smiles, “do not let anything anyone else says about us get to you. Because, they don’t really know anything about me and they very much don’t know anything about you. They don’t get to judge. Not when they do not know how it feels to have the most amazing angel by your side.”

Y/N scrunches her face at him but she hugs him tight nevertheless. “Must you always be this cheesy and cringey?”

“Only for you, baby,” Y/N could feel Hoseok grin from the top of her head. “Also, I’m gonna have a talk with those girls so expect apologies coming your way. And if things go the other way,” Hoseok clicks his tongue, “expect a decrease in my friends.”

However, everything Hoseok spouted is easier said than done. Because truth be told, Hoseok thinks it is him who actually doesn’t deserve Y/N. She is intelligent but so is she kind. She’s mature and it is usually her who does most of the helping and progressing in their relationship. Most of all, it is more realistic to say, Y/N is the one who has far greater things ahead than him. And it became clearer to him the night she took him with her to her family’s home for one of her parents’ parties.

Y/N countlessly told Hoseok she didn’t need to attend it. She even highly advised him not to come with her. But Hoseok has forever been stubborn so of course when he told Y/N he wanted to meet her family, he did every bit of convincing that get him to where he is now — shaken and lost in the middle of a fucking science exhibit of a party. The night actually started out well. He introduced himself to every member of the L/N family, even distant ones who stayed in the farthest, most unnoticeable corners of Y/N’s house. Y/N’s family members welcomed him with smiles and actively talked with him. Her parents even handed him his plate of food themselves and invited him to spend Christmas with them.

It only started going downhill when it was time for the main event of the party—the what-have-you-been-up-to lately segment or what Y/N would like to call the “let the best bragger win.” Everyone started spewing their achievements for the year in a fashion that challenges the other party to disclose their far greater successes. Which, ultimately, insult the others for their lack of any. The party felt as if it was a battlefield with every member of Y/N’s family pitting their achievements against each other, no matter what context they are in—even if they are not of the same category to even compare. Next thing Hoseok knew, he was being dragged into the center of the conversation, with Y/N’s father asking him to tell his “revolutionary thoughts.”

Hoseok tried his best. He really did. He had recalled every lesson he learned in his Science-related GEs and even tried to apply them in the academic journals he saw Y/N reading. That’s why he doesn’t understand why every single time he opens his mouth, Y/N’s entire family is laughing at him. Is the Dual Nucleus Association found in fingerprints that funny? Hoseok didn’t take too long to ponder on it, for the next second, a hand is pulling him to the front doors of the L/N house. It takes another second for Hoseok to register Y/N was the one who’s dragging him onto the street in angry stomps.

“Y/N! Why did we go out?” Hoseok pulls on her arm, “We have to come back! It will be rude to your parents! I don’t want to leave a bad impression y’know–”

“It doesn’t matter, Hoseok!” Y/N whirls around, distraught, and Hoseok only notices just now her glazed eyes. Y/N chokes out, “Leaving an impression on them doesn’t matter because we have to get out NOW.”

“What? No, Y/N! That’s not appropriate! I–”

“Then is it appropriate for my parents and relatives’ to blatantly insult you right in your face?”

Hoseok takes a step back, “What? But they were laughing at me there. I guess my jokes are–”

“Hoseok, they were mocking you in there. We both hell know the fingerprint DNA trivia you were telling them is not a joke.”

“But your father said the Dual Nucleus Association I muttered was revolutionary and funny.”

Y/N closes her eyes as she releases a staggered sigh, “Hoseok, ‘revolutionary’ in my father’s dictionary meant ‘stupid.’” Hoseok scrunches his brows and Y/N breathes out, wishing she could let out as well the aggravation and loathing for her parents she has kept inside for so long. “He was making fun of you, Hobi. DNA does not stand for Dual Nucleus Association. It’s Deoxyribonucleic Acid. My father fucking knew what this means because he took a PhD in Microbiology and he didn’t even have the heart to correct you. He even put you up in front of everybody else and humiliate you without you even noticing it.”

“W-what?”

Y/N sighs for the nth time as she reaches for his hands. “Hoseok, I’m sorry I left you alone. This whole time, I didn’t know you were in my father’s care. It’s just that my cousin came to me and asked desperately for help about the verbal abuse he experiences at home. The way he asked for my help, I knew he’s about to-to blow up sooner or later. So I immediately went to his aid. And I guess I got so preoccupied trying to make him calm without triggering his panic attacks that I…did not see where you stayed in the party. Worse, I didn't fucking even know you were with my parents. I know this is not enough of an excuse and I have been a shitty girlfriend tonight. So I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m deeply so so sorry. And right now, I’m trying to make up for my mistakes by telling you we should leave. Now. I cannot let any of them insult you more,” Y/N’s voice breaks and she raises her hand to wipe a tear that has cascaded down her cheeks, “I cannot, Hoseok, for so help me God, I will march over there and declare I want to denounce myself as a L/N.”

Hoseok doesn’t reply. He just nods at her and looks down at his feet. Y/N gulps down the anxiety building up in her larynx as she leads the two of them to the car he rented. She opts for the driver’s seat and hits the gas. Within minutes, the two of them are enveloped by the silent nightscape, a stark contrast to the cacophony of pride in her house.

“Hoseok,” the man turns to the sound of Y/N’s voice. “W-what else did my father say to you?”

Hoseok starts to fumble with the loose thread of his navy suit jacket. “Do you…really want to hear it?”

“Is it that bad?”

“Well, I-your dad questioned my ability to provide for you in the future. Because of my major and aspirations and all.”

Y/N turns to him, aghast, “What?! Why would he even say that? What, he started to forget women’s abilities to revert back to the traditional patriarchal views?! Fuck him!”

“I knew you would say that,” Hoseok says, chuckling softly. Y/N faces him again, this time perplexed as to why he is laughing. Hoseok reads her look and he clears his throat.

“When you told me I was being insulted in the party, I will admit I am offended. But, before that, during an earlier talk with your father, I was not the least bit upset.” Hoseok meets your eyes. “That time, I was scared. Immensely shit-scared.”

“I should have come to you first, not my cousin–”

“No, let me finish first.” Hoseok purses his lips. He then looks out of the car window, at the scarce stars on the sky. “I knew we are far apart from each other. It was obvious even before we got together. Hell, I do not even get the memes you send to me when we first started out as friends. Sometimes, I even get insecure that even if you are not really bestfriends with Namjoon, he seems to get everything you tell me you found at the lab. Just by listening to our conversations, he understands them all. So effortlessly at that. I even have to plead him to tutor me and dumb-translate the science-y things you tell me, while I dry my brains out trying to understand them. But when I talked with your father, tonight, how he reiterated your status and skills and their difference from mine…I have never been this scared in my life. Scared that what he said will come true—that you will realize how someone like me can never truly understand you ‘til the long run. That you will get tired of slowing your pace down for me…That you will eventually find someone more compatible with you–who also has a much more stable future ahead of just an aspiring dancer.” Hoseok turns toY/N and he reaches out for her left hand, her free hand. He clasps them in his hands and looks up at her, “But, I swear Y/N, I promise I will do my best. Your father may not be convinced but I want you to know. That I will do my best for you, Y/N. I will learn more for you. I will understand you more. I will improve my reputation into a much more respectable one. Hell, I can quit dance if I have to.”

Y/N gives Hoseok a pained look. “No, Hoseok, you will not quit dance. I do not want you to quit dance. It will be too unfair for you and I know you will regret it.”

Hoseok sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah…that sounds easier said than done.”

“You don’t have to do those things for me,” Y/N squeezes his hand, making him look back to her. “I actually enjoy helping you learn. I love that you goof off the way you want because when you do that, I am reminded people like you still exist today — people who are not afraid of being themselves. Because of that, you inspire me to live more. I also love that you put in the time learning the things I’m saying because it means you genuinely are interested about my thoughts and you are not afraid of women being smarter than you — something most guys fail at. But that’s because most of them are misogynistic, prideful men on their high horses. And, I know you’re not like that. Most of all, I love it when you dance. Because through it you freely express every bit of your emotion. Because, you’re transparent, Hoseok. You’re an open book and I like it the best because you don’t leave me hanging, confused, troubled, and worried about what you’re feeling, especially when you know I am already bad at reading emotions. You are my stable ground, Hoseok. You make me feel safe. And despite the bad fights we’ve been through, I know you’re always doing your best. How can we stay this long if not for you being the brighter one between us when it comes to communicating, knowing that splitting because of things that can be solved will only result in one hell of a horrible mistake?” Y/N turns to Hoseok and he looks at her with his mouth agape, eyes blown wide. She smiles at this. “You have to know you’re more than enough, Hoseok. Like you said,” her smile grows wider, “no one can tell us what we deserve or not but ourselves. And with this, I know and feel that I deserve you, Hoseok. And you, me. What do you say?”

Hoseok’s response to that was not of a verbal one but a physical one—one that involved a feverish kiss on Y/N’s lips, and her jawline that led Y/N to park the car by the empty gasoline station. Feather-light kisses, desperate hands to grab each other as close as they can be to each other, Y/N indulges in Hoseok and him in her in a passionate love that burned so bright it rivals the sun. The only words that transpire during that fateful night was “I love you’s” and for Y/N and Hoseok, they are more than enough of an anchor of him to her and her to him as waves of obstacles come in your way.

All of these moments with Y/N have accumulated into Hoseok’s most wonderful memories in his life. And he still replays them in his head as another year of being her lover passes. Of course, problems never failed to arise as they manage their relationship. But, the ones caused by the comments of everyone in the university have lessened as Y/N and Hoseok have now graduated. Hoseok has left the university after he graduated, while Y/N stayed in the university as she applied for a Master’s degree in civil engineering.

Y/N still lives in her dorm for the convenience of teaching in the campus and studying after work. Meanwhile, Hoseok lived in an apartment in the city, close to the prestigious dance studio he works at. Their schedules are most often than not, amiss, and the distance between them can be sometimes frustrating. However, what remains the biggest obstacle is everyone’s opinions about the two of them. Sure, they were not as restrictive as what the two of them have experienced in the university. But it didn’t mean it hurt less when people say how they never thought someone as fun as Hoseok will choose someone so boring like Y/N, or how Hoseok’s intellect was a down-grader for her respectable reputation, saying she has a tasteless choice in choosing partners. Although these problems may get a little overwhelming, the two of them never let them get in between their relationship.

Hence, Y/N and Hoseok are still madly in love like the first year they have started dating. So in love that Hoseok felt it is now the time to propose to Y/N. For anymore day without her officially bounded with him, when you already own every piece of his heart, is something Hoseok cannot take any longer. He wants Y/N to be his partner for the years to come, his significant other for forever, and the only person he wakes up to and sees last in his day and nights for the rest of his entire life. Hoseok knows this and he has never been surer in his life.

This is the reason why Hoseok is where he is today: clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and mismatched socks, with a troubled look on his face. Hoseok may have only realized he wanted to marry Y/N in late November, but he was able to make an intricate proposal plan to execute before this year can end. Today is Y/N’s free day and he has classes that have ended early. Lucky for him, Jimin is free to take her out for some last-minute gift-shopping in the afternoon so Hoseok can have ample time to decorate Y/N’s dorm with hearts and diagrams of the hypothalamus (because “No, Hoseok, we do not say I love you from the deepest corner of my heart, but from the hypothalamus. We do not feel from the heart. It just pumps us blood”). Hoseok will have the gifts he bought for Y/N delivered that very same day to complete his decorations (and to also spoil her even more). He will cook Y/N her favorite dishes and make her hot cocoa even though he very much likes eggnog more, just because she likes the sweet chocolate beverage. He even requested his orchestra friends Yoongi, Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Sandeul, to play Jingle Bell Rock (“in cursive”) on the far side of the hallway so when Jimin drops Y/N off, she can have her favorite Christmas song as her background music when she steps inside her room and gets surprised.

That is why when his heart and hypothalamus decorations actually looked shit, the arrival of the gifts was delayed ‘til tomorrow, and the meals he cooked looked inedible—not to say the hot choco looked like a mess too and totally un-aesthetic—Hoseok finds himself frozen in his place next to Y/N’s Christmas tree, looking as if he was constipated for ten days. Worse, his girlfriend is already standing by her door frame, kicking the door close like it was just any other day.

Y/N hangs her coat on the hanger and puts her shopping bags on top of her wide cabinet. She nonchalantly glances at him, “Hoseok, what are you doing there?”

Hoseok feels sweat run down his face in waterfalls. If Y/N is surprised he was standing stupidly next to her tree, she did not show it. But right now, Hoseok’s concern is her seeing the decorations he made chucked in a large paper bag he hid behind the tree at the last minute. Of course, it is poorly hidden. He plays with the collar of his sweater “I…um, I–”

“Nevermind. I guess this is one of our spontaneous date nights you ironically always plan. You should inform me next time, you know, so I can prepare for you as well,” Y/N smiles at him. “Come sit with me.” She walks to the sofa by the Christmas tree and pats the seat next to her. Hoseok scrambles to sit beside her and tries not to look like the dumbest fool in the world. Y/N did not get surprised, the orchestra’s music is barely heard inside as the cold wind of early winter overrides it, and he looks totally shit. How can he propose to her now, huh? All of his plans are ruined!

“Di-did you eat already?” Hoseok asks, hands sweaty on his sweatpants. “I made you your favorite.”

“Umm…yeah,” Y/N bites her lip, guilty. “I was already hungry before Jimin and I can finish our shopping and I really felt a great need to devour some pizza today.” She reaches for her small satchel and produces a folded paper bag. “I saved some for you. We can eat it later while we watch Netflix.”

“O-okay,” Hoseok nervously laughs. His eyes land on the pink mug on the dining table. He looks back at Y/N, “D-do you want to drink something? I made you hot cocoa.”

“Ooh, I’ll drink it later. I just had a sweet choco milkshake before I got here,” Y/N bites her lips again in guilt. “I’m sorry, Hoseok, I didn’t know you prepared these stuff for me. If I had known sooner I would have never even stepped out of my dorm today.”

“It’s okay,” Hoseok pulls a smile and he tries not to look a tad bit upset about the failure of his plans, because he knows Y/N will immediately recognize that look.

And, he wasn’t wrong. “Why, Hobi?” Y/N cups his face to make him turn to her, “did I do something wrong?

“No,” Hoseok looks away. “It’s just, my plans…didn’t work out today.”

“What plans?”

Hoseok immediately feels his ass on fire. Did he just almost give himself away? He cannot just blurt out he wants to marry her! He wanted it to be special and he cannot have that happen in just her dorm with his shitty-looking outfit and almost-burned food. He wants Y/N to remember this day and he ain’t taking the risk of letting any bad memories mess up his proposal. And so, Hoseok sighs and decides he has to abort the plan and schedule it some other day. He’s just gonna make an excuse for now. “Well, I just thought we can make this random Thursday special y’know? Keep up with the aim of my spontaneous dates–good surprises making life much better without needing a reason to be. So I just made some food and stuff for the fun of it. It’s just a normal day surprise.”

“Oh, then I’m glad today is really spontaneous dates today. I may have…foiled your plans, but look, I happened to have a surprise for you!”

Hoseok tilts his head, “What is it?”

Y/N grins at him before turning around and fumbles for something in her bag. Then the next second, Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is suddenly blaring loud from her phone.

“Y/N, did you seriously just play Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe in speaker mode?”

“Oh, don’t be an in-denial bitch. I know this is your favorite Christmas song. A good song has to create the aesthetic and mood for tonight,” Y/N chuckles, “Here, Hoseok, my present for you.” She hands him a box wrapped in a fancy green sparkling wrapper with a red bow tied around it. It was medium-sized, enough for one of his favorite KAWS models to fit inside.

“Present?” Hoseok asks, feeling both joy and guilt respectively swell in his heart and pit in his stomach. Joy, because Y/N is to add another model to his growing collection. And guilt, because he didn’t bring her anything worth the same as her gift. But as he tears open the box, another fancy green box just stares back at him. He looks up at Y/N with squinted eyes. “I see what you did there, sneaky missy.” She just chuckles at him and Hoseok continues to unbox her gift, only to have another box inside. Hoseok wonders what made Y/N think of doing this infamous wrapping technique for her gift when she wasn’t even that much into wrapping gifts. She always just give him gifts in standard wrapping paper, messily taped all over around. Moreover, what even is her gift and how small does it have to be? Because now, Hoseok’s hands are getting tired of unboxing box after box and the gift is now currently the size of a stress ball!

“Y/N, can you just tell me your gift? I’m getting tired. I can open it tomorrow instead and we can just get straight to Netflix tonight.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N laughs, patting his shoulders. “Keep unboxing.”

Hoseok continues forth with the unboxing and his heart starts to sink to his stomach as the box got smaller and smaller. This is probably a prank. One to get back at him for telling Y/N last year he bought her her favorite gift for their monito event with Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon. Only for him to arrive with nothing but a bow on his head and shamelessly declare to everyone that he is her gift. Nothing must be inside this box to contain a gift so small. The box in his hand is now just the size of a small toy car!

Hoseok sighs as he opens the box. Another green box will appear and then he’ll see the paper saying “Pranked you, Hobi!”

But it does not.

For the box on Hoseok’s hand right now, is gaping open to him right now. And all he sees is a sparkling, silver ring embellished with emeralds that seem to form waves around the base of the band. A fucking ring is sitting right on top of his hand.

Hoseok gapes and just stares. Far too long that Y/N decides to break the silence. “Surprise! I bought you an engagement ring! With green emeralds just like your favorite color.” She grins at him as she holds Hoseok’s hands in hers, making him turn to her while he stays jaw ajar.

Y/N suddenly feels self-conscious and unconfident. This is not the reaction she is expecting. She starts to fear if she’ll spend the coming Holidays boyfriend-less. Just by looking at Hoseok’s stupified face, it looks everything is happening too fast and too sudden tonight for her boyfriend. Nevertheless, she says, “I-I know this may come off as a really big of a surprise. After all, this is an engagement ring and right now I am trying to propose to you. Barely, even. So, of course, this is definitely a shocker. Especially when we only just spent two years dating. Still too early for a proposal to come, as what others will usually expect,” Y/N’s voice breaks.

She wrings her hands together, her feet trembling beneath her, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “But, Hoseok, in these two years I have spent with you…I learned what it felt like to be loved and be in love with you. We fight, yes. Healthily usual even. But, at the end of the day, everything still feels worth it. And I guess,” Y/N smiles, “I cannot get enough of it. I cannot get enough of you. Being your girlfriend no longer satisfied me. I now want to be your wife. I want to be the only person you’ll stress over science just to impress. I want to be the person who’ll be your home. The one you will come home to, wake up to, and sleep next to every night, every single day. I want to be your partner-in-crime, especially when we have kids and we’ll play some game I never heard of but will still enjoy in the end just because you like it. But only if you want kids, hehe.” Y/N laughs awkwardly and scratches her nape. “Hoseok, I know I am clumsy in saying my feelings for you. Today is my first time saying everything so honest and raw like this so I know this may shock you. God, you don’t know how many times I practiced this speech in my office. Other professors must already be thinking I’m going crazy—anyway, what I only want to say is,” Y/N reaches for Hoseok’s hand and kisses it. “Hoseok, I want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.” When she looks up at him, she says, “And it will only happen if you’d also love to be by my side forever as well. So what do you say?”

“W-what, I will say?” Hoseok repeats, still shaken. However, he’s so happy he cannot help the wide grin splitting on his face. “Yes, Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.”

“R-really?” Y/N’s releases a relieved sigh, fingers wiping the tears that have formed on her eyes. “T-Then, why did you look like as if you’re about to walk out on me when you opened the box?”

Hoseok cups her face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Because you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Y/N scowls at this and hits his chest, hard. Hoseok coos at her as he hugs her tight and chuckles, “You’re an asshole because you headed out straight for my heart—hook, line, and sinker — and now I am completely blown away when I was supposed to be the first one to do so. Seriously, Y/N, I did not expect this to happen this way. Not when I also prepared a surprise for you tonight.”

Y/N’s brows raise in curiosity. Hoseok unzips his gym bag on the sofa and turns back to her, now with a red velvet box on his hands.

Hoseok pops open the box, a ring of the same design as the one she bought him stares back at her. But this one, instead of green emeralds, is embellished with blue emeralds, her favorite color. Right then and there, Y/N wanted to cry.

Hoseok rubs his nape. “I’m supposed to propose to you tonight as well. But you beat me right to it and now I forgot my speech.”

Y/N chuckles at that as she wipes away the tears that have formed yet again on her eyes. Hoseok smiles as he squeezes her hand. “But, that doesn’t mean I’ll skip on this once-in-a-lifetime’s opportunity to propose to you,” Hoseok looks at her, “Y/N, I love you. And I know forever can be a heavy word and sometimes love cannot solve every problem that may come our way. But Y/N, what I said two years ago hasn’t changed. I will try my best. For you, I will. And we may be young but I know you and I are capable to make us work for as long as time can let us. Because you are Y/N, and I’m Hoseok. People may be against us but we know with each other, we are the best we can ever be. We deserve each other. We need each other. But most of all, we love each other. That’s all we need. Me and you. You and me.” After he breathes out, Hoseok cups Y/N’s cheeks and she leans forward and interlocks their lips in a soft kiss.

Y/N grabs onto Hoseok’s ugly green sweater and deepens the kiss, letting her mouth do the talking for her and him. For no words can be enough to express everything that is settling in their hearts tonight — euphoric bliss, the sweet feeling of triumph. Although Y/N can feel a tinge of the uncertainty of what may come to the two of them in the future grappling on her nerves, there resides in her heart the greater courage that despite the unpredictability of life, Y/N knows she can manage it with the constant she now has by her side — Hoseok. And for him, her. Because, Y/N is certain this is the most right decision she has ever made in her life: loving him. And, Hoseok proves it is the same for him as when the kiss comes into a close, he whispers on her lips, “Guess the déjà vu tonight is really working at its best. Fate really wanted us to be together.”

Y/N grins at him, her forehead bumping into his, “And where’s your proof, future Mr. Y/N L/N?”

Hoseok presses a kiss on Y/N’s forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, then at the corner of her ear. He whispers, “Look outside.”

And there outside, white droplets fall from the sky, lighting up the near-black horizon while frosting up the window panes. It is the first snow. Y/N smiles. What Hoseok said to her when she reciprocated his love confession doesn’t seem so preposterous now. It seems like fate really tied the two of them up together as she first met and started dating Hoseok when the first snow fell. There’s a saying that whoever you’re with during the first snow, you will be with that person for a long time. Y/N and Hoseok have already been living proof of that for being together in three years—friendship plus dating days combined — amidst whatever people say against them two.

And Y/N hopes, that as she and Hoseok promise forever to each other tonight, the saying will come true. Because she wants the two of them to be together for a very, very, very long time. After all, Hoseok is right. She is Y/N and he is Hoseok and together, they are the best they can ever be, titles and achievements be damned. The weather may be cold during these pinnacle moments of her and his relationship but their hearts are warm and cozy, and there is nothing more Y/N could ask for.

Epilogue:

“You know, Y/N, my original proposal was beautiful, I’m sure I’ll have you bawling tonight.”

Y/N gives him a look and Hoseok laughs, “Good thing they’re gone now. D’you know I actually wrote my entire proposal in my hands? They just got erased because my hands have become so sweaty when I chucked away the decorations I made for you.”

“What decorations?”

Hoseok pulls on the collar of his sweater, “Cut-outs of hearts and hypothalamus?”

“R-really? You remembered what I said to you three years ago?”

“Of course, babe,”Hoseok smiles, “It’s you. How can I forget that? But they’re not available anymore as I already threw them away. They looked like shit.”

“Where did you throw them?”

“In a paper bag….by your Christmas tree–hey, why are you picking it up?”

Y/N turns towards him, smiling, her hands gently holding the crushed hearts and hypothalamus cut-outs. “Because you made it for me, Hoseok. Of course they hold value to me. It’s you.”

“You’re really a Grinch, you know? You’re making me cry with your sweetness and beauty when I should be jumping up and down with joy right now.”

“….Do you always have to be cheesy like this?”

“Only for you, babe. And get used to it. You have a forever to experience this one-in-a-million love from the one and only Jung Hoseok.”

A/N pt. 2 | Hi hons! Sorry my Christmas gift for you all was late! My requirement deadlines in uni ended up until Dec. 16 and so for the majority of December, I was solely focused on uni stuff. I tried limiting myself from using page breakers in this fic, a challenge I put on myself to train my skills again in doing transitions in my writing. This story is inspired by the rivalry of science and art majors in our uni in my first year! Also! I hoped you guys appreciate my take on @kwritersworld’s prompt. I want to incorporate it in a very unexpected way, while at the same time, reflects my character in a way I‘ve never done before. OC here is a bit grumpy and lacks social skills to be friendly so I interpreted her as an everyday-Grinch hehe). Lastly, @bts-poetry, I really enjoyed doing mini Q&As with you! I hope you like this gift and I also hope we can talk more in the future!

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let-me-make-you-proud · 5 years

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Tangled: The Series Q&A with Kait.

This is a recapitulation from today’s (September 14, 2019) Questions and Answers session with Kait on the Tangled Discord Server.

Q: Which Disney princesses outside of Tangled the series can you see Varian being friends with? Nonfranchise ones included.

A: I think Belle is the first one who comes to mind!! She’s super studious and goes against the grain…not to mention her father is an inventor who’s a little off-base! 🙂 I think he’d be super comfortable experimenting with Belle and her dad and reading awesome stories! (Maybe even sharing the Tales of Flynn Rider with her! …Assuming she hasn’t read it! Haha. ) He could also eat ham sandwiches with Anna. Sorry. Second thought. Lol!!

Q: So Kait, as a storyboard artist on the show what kind of little details, quirks or creative touches did you or any other artists put into Varian scenes you or others storyboarded?

A: Ha!! Any acting scene with Varian I had…I pretty much based off of Anna Lencioni (my best friend/ another board artist on the show.) Anna makes these very specific expressions and she gestures to herself a lot and closes her eyes and creases her brows and says things like “A-huh! Actually…” or “Um!!” Before making a point and it’s always reminded me of him.

She kept a “flynnolium” prop from Halloween with green goo in a vial in her cubicle at work so long it grew mold. She said she was studying it. She found scrap metal in her boot one day. She has a basement lab for her experiments and crafts. She befriended two raccoons at her last apartment. She is the most accident-prone person with freckles I’ve ever met…she’s pretty much him.

Jeremy Jordan’s reads give you so much to work with…and I love that character so much I feel a natural sort of understanding of how he might say something or do something…but Anna would always do these specifically Anna things that I had to use for Varian.

Q: Do you have any specific advice for aspiring storyboard artists or people who aspire to work in animation?

A: Gestural drawings help you learn to draw fast…which is a very important part of storyboarding. I would say storyboarding‘ s biggest requirements are clarity and speed. Lots of productions have different requirements in terms of what they look for from story artists. Tangled‘s leadership cared a lot about drawing skill, animation, layout, etc. because it more strongly informed the animation studio to have those things. The show I’m working on now (Monsters at Work) is a 3D show…so for our production, the emphasis is more on story and speed. We pitch ideas more than we pitch drawings…so clarity is important and acting is too, but we’re far less precious about tying down drawings and animating since we shift into the 3D production pipeline after story. The boards are still very important…but the more technical aspects are a *little* less so. The focus is just more on story and character and what the board artists can bring to their scenes.

So I’d say just practice drawing…maybe try and give someone a prompt or ask a friend for one. Choose a theme! Maybe vampires? What’s the worst thing that could happen to a vampire? What’s the best thing? What’s the funniest thing? What if they were also an alien? Or fused with a werewolf? Or chained to one? What would happen? Giving yourself a starting point for an idea will inspire you to explore all the possibilities for humor, drama, etc. in that idea. If you’re struggling to give yourself a prompt, try looking online…or maybe choosing a song you like or a passage from a book for inspiration.

There’s also this really fun thing you can do to study cinematography and shot composition called a “three tone” exercise. Basically…put on your favorite (live action) film, grab a sketchbook, grab a black and grey marker, and use the white of the page for your third tone. What you wanna do is (as you’re watching or while pausing) sketch a small thumbnail using only three grey tones of what you see on the screen. Draw the shot- where the characters are, try and duplicate the lighting…it teaches you a lot! 🙂 (Phew!)

Q: Do you have any fun non-spoiler head canons about Varian?

A: I think his favorite dessert is apple pie and I think he bakes recreationally very often! He’s probably a good cook. (Though he may have one or two minor accidents……a burnt thing here and there. Minor oil splatters….haha!!)

Q: What’ve been your favorite episodes, both to storyboard and in general? Of course, no specifics if it’s S3

A: Haha! Well…What The Hair and Queen for A Day have special places in my heart because they were such big moments for my favorite character…(Varian, haha.) But I’d say the episodes I had the most fun boarding are all in season 3!!! Which is exciting! I have to start compiling some work to post! 🙂 I think the episode I had the most fun with is one you guys will really enjoy.

Q: Will we get some interesting surprises (In Season 3)?

A: Without any spoilers- absolutely!! The show is always full of those.

Q: So We’ve heard many fans express why they love Varian as a charcter before, I’d love to know what drew you and Anna to Varian as well and why you guys personally found him to be a great character.

A: When Shane Prigmore originally pitched the character to me, he was much younger. He was like 11 or so, I think? Maybe 12? He’s still pretty young…but what Shane said was that he wanted him to go from this wide-eyed kid to this dark, angry person whose bangs fell over those wide, bright eyes…just full of rage. That idea was super interesting to me…it just hit on something in character development that I felt like I’d never exactly seen before? He was so young and it was such an interesting idea to me to make a child the villain and to give that child a strong reason to be angry? It felt like it was taking this child very seriously, which I appreciate. It felt very real and very dark.

The thing that threw me through a loop but also evolved my fascination with the character was Jeremy Jordan’s casting. I listened to a lot of the auditions they had for various actors and I had seen a ton of Shane’s concept art of the character…a lot of them were VERY different than what we have now. One version Ricky Roxburgh (writer) contributed to had Varian cast as an adult in the story. But when I heard Jeremy I felt like I totally understood who Varian really was.

He was a well-intentioned disaster with unchecked emotions. That. Is me! Haha!! I see myself in his imperfections, his emotionality in spite of his creative and often intellectual thinking. He wants to ascend to these levels he may not be ready to ascend to…he feels this need to prove himself and seek validation. I don’t know, I guess I relate to that! And I’m just a sucker for good guys gone bad. The other half of this, of course, is that he’s very charming and cute and super reminds me of my best friend, Anna Lencioni.

Q: Which character do you most like seeing interacting with Varian?

A: It’s a little spoilery for me to reveal that……..but I think you guys are gonna know when it happens! Haha!

I can’t wait to post THOSE boards

That’s actually right out of the episode I think I liked boarding the most, haha.

Q: If there was one prop (furniture, object, the like) from the Tangled series that could be made real and you could keep, what would it be..?

A: I think it’d have to be those little alchemy orbs that Varian throws? They just suddenly clean the whole castle hallway somehow and like…could use me some of that. He also has the one that removes stains from tablecloths, so. I’m sloppy. That’d be a big help. Haha!

Also his staff is pretty cool 😉, I boarded/created that staff…David Lee (prop designer) did its final design…haha

Q: I have a question about a scene in season 1. When Varian got back the first part of the scroll he mentioned that it took him a while to translate it. Has he really been able to read it or has it been a bluff?

A: Varian can indeed translate what’s on the scroll. 😉

Q: Do you have any networking advice for those trying to get into the animation industry?

A: Post your work!! Make it easily accessible, tag it well, just show what you’ve got online! Upload boards, animatics, drawings, etc. Creating an online presence can really help put your name out there. Apply for internships, jobs. I know it’s hard to network because a lot of industry professionals don’t have time to answer specific questions or give portfolio reviews…so it’s sort of important to take some initiative on that and be self-motivated.

For me, I studied the portfolios of Disney feature story artists, CalArts students, etc. and tried to structure the presentation of my work based on that. Also, it helped me get a sense of what pieces of work would best showcase where I was trying to go and what I was trying to do. I’d ask yourself those questions as you develop a portfolio and artistic voice online! 🙂

My first feature job after a trainee program in New York at Blue Sky happened because Doug Sweetland (Pixar animator, feature director, awesome dude) found my work online and liked it. He just reached out based on that!

Shane Prigmore actually reached out to me for Tangled similarly.

Q: Besides Varian, do you have a favorite character that you’ve boarded?

A: I always love Eugene. He’s the second character I think I’m most like. His acting was really fun to play with and I felt like I could push his expressions a lot because he’s so funny. I loved boarding Lance too (I boarded a lot of Lance in S3!!) but MAN was he hard to draw, haha! His face shape is just really hard to draw at certain angles.

Q: With Varian cosplay that is going on, what Disney character would you like to see Varian dress up as next?

A: Jack Skellington! Halloween is afoot. Jack is another well-intentioned disaster. Guess I have a type!

Q: What’s Varian’s opinion on raccoons, are they his favourite animal?

A: I imagine it’s because Ruddiger is always finding interesting things in the trash and giving them to Varian to use in his experiments. Also, they’re fat and cute.

Q: There’s a bit of an argument going on over how many freckles Varian has. Can you confirm how many he has?

A: Ha!!! Yes…one second… 14!!

Q: How big do you think Corona is? Like Vatican City small or Arendelle big?

A: You know, with the wall and all, it actually feels a little on the smaller side to me? I’m sure there’s a little bit of discrepancy between the movie’s version of Corona and our version…but based on where we went within Corona on the show, I’d say it feels on the smaller side.

Q: Are there any non-spoiler Varian scenes or moments that didn’t make the cut that you can share?

A: MAN. Yes. There is one scene that changed after I rolled off the episode and I’m very sad about it. I’ll post it after the episode airs! There was also a line of Varian’s that I boarded to a specific read from Jeremy Jordan and that read was not chosen in editorial later so…I’ll post that one too, haha!

Q: What is your favourite song from the first two seasons so far?

A: All my favorite songs are in season threeeeee…hahahaha!! I think Let Me Make You Proud or the Buddy Song are my favorites. Buddy Song still gets stuck in my head now and then.

Q: What do you think Varian would order at a drive-thru? Specifically at chipotle 😂

A: Chipotle isn’t a drive thru!! Hahaha He’d get the kid’s quesadilla from chipotle. I think Varian is a fries/chips kind of person…something to snack on while he works! He probably also likes milkshakes.

Q: (Continuation from the question above) Chocolate or vanilla?

A: He’d revolutionize by combining them both. FOR SCIENCE!

Q: What is, in your opinion, the most challenging part of varian’s design to draw?

A: His goggles, hahaha. Or just his…hair in general.

Well it’s funny too because when you board these guys, you get used to doing a shorthand for them and then when you go to draw them FOR REAL you realize how complicated that actually is and how wrong your shorthand actually was? Hahahaha

Q: is Varian ticklish at all?

A: I feel like Varian, Eugene, and Lance are all equally ticklish. To the point of absurdity. Cass would fight it as long as she could…but when it finally got to her, she’d laugh uncontrollably. Rapunzel, she’s the TICKLER.

Q: What do you think Varian opinion and belief on magic is now that he’s seen it with his own eyes?

A: I imagine that he certainly believes in it now and no longer underestimates its powers…but I imagine he’s ultimately more comfortable staying in his own lane and working with worldly properties!

Q: If Varian would have been able to meet Demanitus…how would their conversation had looked like?

A: I feel like Varian would have had a TON of questions about his legendary device and whether or not he truly traveled dimensions.

Q: Did Varian have any other friends in old Corona before he met rapunzel?

A: Probably not many…he’s a bit of a hermit. I think Ruddiger is his best friend……. It’s sad but I also think that’s kind of why it hurt so bad when Rapunzel wasn’t able to help him. Also why he was SO excited to have Rapunzel, Cass, and Eugene come visit.

I think the village looked at Varian as a little unstable or worrisome. I’m sure everyone knew he was very nice…but they were likely very unnerved by his inventions.

Q: Do you think Varian ever tried to synthesise gold or the elixir of life like a real alchemist?

A: I’ve wondered that myself!! I think his alchemy has proven to be more about other people…helping others, making people proud. Maybe if someone he cared about was in need.

Q: If you were to meet Varian in real life, what would you say to him?

A: What elixir did you make to get THAT kind of volume? His hair’s so POOFY! Honestly, I’d probably just give him a hug.

Q: How much does Varian know or remember about his mom?

A: I’d say about as much as the photo of her on the wall.

Q: Is there spoiler about his hair streak? Or is it just by design?

A: It’s totally by design. I think it’s safe to assume it’s probably the result of some lab accident!

Q: In what ways is Jeremy Jordan like Varian?

A: I don’t know Jeremy Jordan personally, haha! But I think a lot of these inflections he adds to Varian sort of off the cuff probably come very naturally to him. I know he often wants to do his own pass at the musical arrangement Alan Menken writes…like he’ll want to do something a little different, in his own way, and it will change the song completely!! In an awesome way. That’s a little Varian-esque. In the “Let Me Make You Proud” reprise…Alan Menken had sung that “they are going to pay…they…will…pay” all in a low, downward tone. Jeremy wanted to scream it and make it powerful and angry and loud when he said “PAY” and you could just hear the spite in his voice for the “they will pay.” Genius!

Q: What was the most shocking moment/revelation of the series to you (minus anything season 3)?

A: It’s hard to say because I knew most of what was going to happen long, long ago. I think one of the things that made me go “oh dang!” was something Tom Canfield boarded. It’s that part in Destinies Collide where Lance slices the entire statue down the middle with a sword. What a BAMF!

Q: What were your thoughts on the early concept of Varian having an apple orchard and being a farm kid instead of a young alchemist?

A: He still kinda has those things! Quirin is a farmer as well as the village leader and there are apples on their little farm estate! 🙂 I think that makes Varian very unassuming as a mad little scientist. I’m sure that’s how (Ruddiger and Varian) met! Remember, he used his purple tacky goo stuff to catch raccoons so they wouldn’t eat the crops! And Ruddiger’s favorite snack is apples. 😉

Q: What is his official height and weight?

A: Smol.

Q: How did you guys come up with Varian’s name? And was there any other name suggestions for him before the name ‘Varian’ was chosen?

A: I’m not sure who came up with that name, actually! I’m sure it has something to do with the meaning of the word “variant” which means something that varies, changes in form.

Q: What’s his last name?

A: His last name!! I have NO idea and it bothers me!!! A Disney magazine referred to Varian, Ruddiger, and Quirin as “The Ruddiger Family” and I still haven’t stopped laughing about that.

Q: What sad Disney movie moments would make him cry?

A: Oof. Lion King.

Q: What musicals do think Varian would enjoy?

A: Little Shop of Horrors! I think he’d see himself in Seymour! Or Wicked…you know, that villain arc.

Q: How did Arianna and Fred meet?

A: I actually don’t know off the top of my head!

Q: Would Varian enjoy rollercoasters?

A: I think he’d enjoy how they’re MADE and then scream his head off while riding one, throw up his cotton candy and corndog, and go play carnival games instead. Then get mad that they’re rigged.

Q: So what comes next for you now that the series is almost over? Any big plans?

A: Well the series wrapped for production a while ago! I’ve been on another show for almost a year now! 🙂 I’m working on the new Disney+ show Monsters at Work as a director! It’s an awesome, awesome show…totally next-level…I’m shocked that I’m getting to be apart of something like this. It’s a direct sequel to the movie that serves as an office comedy (a la The Office, Parks and Rec) and has so many characters that fit immediately into the Monsters Inc world. Monsters Inc is my favorite Pixar movie…so I literally come to work and leave work on the same high! It’s an awesome, awesome show with a great crew! 🙂 It’s also just really exciting to be apart of the first original animated property for D+!

Q: How would you compare working as a director to working as a storyboard artist?

A: It’s hard work, just as hard, but in a different way! For me personally, I’m a little easily fatigued by drawing? I get a little creatively frustrated because my thoughts move quicker than my hand. Or because I don’t always feel like I can execute in a drawing what I’m thinking in the way that I want? Part of that is just being an artist…and it’s not ALL the time that I feel that way…but I think I have a certain stamina for drawing that I found challenging to increase.

Directing is just different! It has a lot more to do with managing a team, communication, coordinating, listening, speaking up, problem-solving, being very aware of story as it applies to ALL parts of a production. I don’t draw as often anymore. You have to consider a lot more…more people, more constraints, more difficulties, more opinions, more solutions…it’s just MORE. And you also still have to draw! 🙂 It’s very busy work, but it’s AMAZING and I love it. I feel like I’m contributing to animated storytelling a lot more in this role, actually. I love working with people, I love workshopping, and I love helping! I’m also just spoiled to be working with some great people right now. It’s a blast.

Q: Are any Tangled: The Series crew joining you on that show?

A: Yes!! Tom Caufield and Wendy Sullivan were on it for a minute, but they’ve both moved on to Dreamworks recently! James Suhr (board artist), Isabelle Gedigk (season 3 board artist), Naomi Hicks and Casey Coffey (revisionists), David Lee (props), Ricky Roxburgh (writer), and I are all working together again! It’s awesome.

Q: Does Varian, deep down, blame himself for the amber?

A: I believe he does.

Q: How do you deal with artist’s block?

A: I try to think about the intention behind what I’m doing. Why is the scene I’m working on very important to the story? If it feels unimportant or boring, how can I make it interesting? What can I do on my end to make it more inspiring or fun without going too far off the rails and still serving the scene’s purpose?

If it’s not work-related, I try and start with some fan art or something familiar for me to draw. I have a lot of scribbly Varians in the margins of a lot of my sketch documents. I use him as a warm-up a lot. It helps build my confidence to draw something familiar/ that I think I can draw pretty well.

Q: What’s the hardest scene you’ve ever had to board?

A: Oh God. ANYTHING with action. I’m not an action gal. Lots of stuff in S3. I was board partners with Wendy Sullivan and ended up getting a lot of action to board even though she’s WAY better at it than me!! It was an interesting challenge…but it was very, very challenging. Ben (Co-EP) was a great mentor to me in the scene I did for the mid season. He was very patient with me, despite my shortcomings as an action board artist, haha. I enjoy boarding for comedy much more.

Kait: Anyways, I should probably head off now! Thank you guys so much for all the questions!!!! You’re awesome! I hope you’re all super excited for S3! It’s a great one.

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #varian #Q&A #Tangled crew #Question & Answers #Kait #ruddiger #Rapunzel #Eugene #Lance #Cassandra

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lifesbecomings · 3 years

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The email

Hi Drew— I just wanted to clarify something and share some perspective. First off, I want to say that I understand and respect Denison’s admissions process. I reached out a few days ago to everyone just curious about the process and wanted to talk about options to continue my education, IF even possible, through Denison! With the positive feedback from everyone and your first email, and then mention, even as a slight possibility, of spring enrollment...one certainly can understand my excitement and push for more discussion and my initiative to get applied/enrolled. With that said I am still curious about steps in general. And maybe I applied as the wrong type of student. I know there are openings still this spring, and especially in the EDUC classes (like EDUC 390), and thought "wow, maybe this is all aligning because it's meant to be." If it is or isn't meant to be, I'm at peace with whatever the decision is or remains. But Denison will always be my first choice. I did leave in 2017 as a medical leave student, and technically I wasn't pursuing a degree through CCS, just taking classes, many students take summer classes or semesters (like if on academic suspension), and then come back and return to campus. I know usually students typically return 1-2 years, and I understand there are deadlines and I know their importance. In no way shape or form am I trying to surpass these. When I first reached out, I said I'd be happy to discuss ANY options in a return. Others, throughout the thread, were mentioning a spring return and spring availability and how fantastic this could be. Both Karen Graves and Baker were on board in the Educ. department, where I am majoring, presumably for a spring enrollment. Maybe it is the fact I only have art credits as transfers. Was it that they were hoping for more core class transfers? Either way, to be perfectly transparent, whatever the outcome is, I will be taking spring classes. As well as summer classes. I want to get my degree. My first choice is Denison. If there is anyway to make this a possibility still. You already know, It would be my pleasure to stay in touch, and I will happily move to Ohio and take classes back on campus in the fall. Denison holds a special place in my heart. I hope my time on campus impacted those I came into contact with, as much as they impacted me. The Briefing: Within the last 2 weeks. Literally, two weeks, a series of events occurred that made me see the potential I could have. It started with a ski lesson, we had philosophy lessons up the chairlift, and the technical skiing lessons going down the hill. It was eye opening. I realized I need to work on my patience, but It also made me realize that I don't have to do something I do not enjoy. Moreover, it made me recognize I need to stop running from what satisfies me the most, people, education, learning, and teaching. I shut myself off in 2017 to the idea of "traditional schooling". I thought, "It's not for me". " I'm not good at it". It stuck. That is, until January 6th 2021, when I had this ski lesson. The ski lesson in combination with my parents friend, a teacher from Brother Rice High School, got me thinking. I was thinking and analyzing myself. My change in perspective was shocking. I needed to accept my talents and embrace them, instead of shutting them out and rejecting them. It is so funny how we sabotage ourselves. This is the start of my story. About how I found my drive and fulfillment. Below are three personal stories I would like to share. 1. Monkey Bars.

There is a story my mother always would tell me growing up about my perseverance and determination. When I was very young, 4 years old, there was a set of monkey bars on the school playground. After school one day I told my mom I wanted to go across the monkey bars. The only problem...I did not know how to do them. But, I had watched other kids that day at recess. So I was determined to figure it out. We were there for 2-3 hours. I was bound and determined to do those monkey bars. I knew that was what I wanted. I had numerous failed attempts, failure after failure, my mother began to beg me to leave with her because my hands were all beaten up, blistered, and bloodied, I still kept going. I made it all the way across those monkey bars that day, and every day after. There is another story, too, a similar story about me riding a two wheeler. Same determination, different goal. Both accomplished.

2. My Miracle.

A senior in college, to the modern western world, is still considered "young". If you're in school, attending high school or even attending university, to have a child anywhere, at any time in that mix, It is looked down upon, plain and simple. I chose to not tell any of my peers, while I was at Denison, my fall semester, that senior year, in 2017. I kept this knowing to myself. I told my parents, and told the father/ fathers parents. Guess what was encouraged? An abortion. Whether verbally spoken (which it was) or unspoken, I knew this is what was wanted from me, wanted for me. I mean, it was, after all, the easiest thing to do. I could still finish my degree and the family could always come later in my life. So, I did just that. I went in for that appointment, at 5 weeks.

Statistically speaking it is 99% effective. Did you know, 1:4 women will have had an abortion in their lifetime. It's neither here nor there, just an incredible statistic. I actually came back to Denison to finish out my degree after. Putting the past behind me. I enjoyed a fantastic fall break that year in Philadelphia with friends, because through Denison my Junior year, I did a "study abroad," in Philadelphia (the best experience ever. Cannot speak enough about that program! So grateful Denison is a part of the Study in Philly!)

Anyway, after coming back from break I wasn't myself that week at school. I came home, went to a doctor's appointment. Pregnant. I was 11 weeks pregnant. 1-2 weeks away from being in my second trimester. I knew. In that instant, I was keeping him. No one else understood, at the time, my decision. I was blamed on one side, entirely, for this outcome, the father still lives in denial. This is important information in my story, as it describes where I have been, who I am and who I've become. The father isn't, and has never been involved. This is fine. It's been uncomplicated. I'm actually very lucky. Besides, I know that my son and I deserve someone 100% interested in me AND my son, not an either or situation. So once making my decision, to continue with the pregnancy, I took one day. One day to be broken hearted, to feel like it was me against the world. Later, to my surprise, I found I had a support network bigger than I could ever have imagined.

I am blessed. I am loved. "We" are so loved. But it took me that one day to realize, the easiest thing is not always the right thing. I knew honestly from the day I first found out, I wanted this baby. And my god, has it not only blessed me, but this child of mine blesses and brings joy to anyone and everyone he meets. As a biased mother would say, he truly is something special. My choosing to bring this new life into the world, is an amazing and miraculous testimony to my dedication and character. Being a mother (parent) is one of the toughest jobs in the world.

3. My Bakery.

First, back story: I tried to take some classes at College for Creative studies in 2018. Knowing I was more than "just a mom". I've done a lot of "soul" searching and self love in my time away. I didn't reach back to Denison at this time because I was convinced traditionally schooling just must not be for me. The root of it, I later would find, was that I was somehow undeserving of it. (super messed up mental ideal). Disclaimer: I, like many, struggled with self worth. Therapy is necessary and beautiful. Anyway, continuing---I had a hobby of sketching. Homes and houses always intrigued me, so I picked up some classes at CCS, interior design classes. This is where I realized a hobby does not make for a career. More importantly, I remembered the promise I had made to myself, that I didn't want anyone else raising my baby boy. I was spending 60hrs + a week on projects and classroom time, leaving him home with my parents and babysitters, a little bit at first, then, more and more. So, I pulled the plug.

When I give of myself I want to give 100%. If I was giving my school work 100% there was none left for my son. I had to pick between the two, and clearly, without a doubt, my baby boy was the sure pick. Schooling this time round failed because It was in person, he was not in school yet, and it was not practical or logistical. I stopped in OCT of 2019. Between October and December of 2019 I went stir crazy. I was 24/7 with my son, living at my parents home still, and my mental health was on the decline. I felt trapped. I needed a way out. And thus "A Degree Above Bakery" was born. I have made over 5,000 dollars in profits from this business. I have a standing order, weekly, with Westborn Market. However, this flow, and work is at my grace. I can shut it down, permanently, or temporarily. I can drive it forward more, or scale it back, starting tomorrow. I was determined to find a way out and give myself some "me" time, as well as doing something I enjoyed that gave me flexible hours to work with my son present. I originally started in my own home. Operating under the cottage food law. That is, until I started to rent space in Plymouth MI from Westborn Market in April 2020. I bake Sundays currently.

I created and established then registered my name. I created and bought a web domain. I have my own labels and packaging I created. Every aspect of my business I have built and created. The brand, the marketing, getting into a grocery store. My point here, being, when I think of something, I do everything in my power to try to reach my goal, whatever the road block. When I get an idea, I see it through. To the best of my ability. __________ My overarching theme is determination. You will have nothing without it. I will be respectful and understanding of any final decisions, acceptance, reinstatement, or lack thereof. If there is still a slimmer of possibility to qualify for spring semester at Denison or be considered again... It would be an honor and mean more to me than any words could begin to describe. I had to take one last shot with you all, before seeking another institution. Rules and regulations will be forever. I understand this, but If there is anything I can do to help enhance my application/reinstatement/case/enrollment/scenario please don't hesitate to ask. I would be honored to commit to in person class on the hill in the fall, after taking summer classes, and taking the spring classes online at Denison, I also will be able to pay, in full, for the spring tuition as well as on campus next fall/winter. I also paid in full while being on campus every year from 2013-2016. Please also hear me when I say, yes, obviously I would do whatever and help to see a successful spring enrollment, but I would be happy to transfer credits from this spring (elsewhere), and summer, to complete classes on campus in the fall. I will stay open minded to all possibilities, as I know Denison does!

With much respect and appreciation, and excitement,

Sarah McNaughton

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fibula-rasa · 5 years

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October 2018 in Review

October was way more hectic than I thought it would be and I didn’t watch as many movies as I usually do. I spent a week in Korea (a post about my visit to the Korean Film Archive will be up soon!) And I was motivated to watch a lot of new movies (a.k.a. was on a long-haul flight).

You may have already heard the news, but the irreplaceable Filmstruck is shuttering this month after two wonderful years. Fair warning: I’ll probably spend a good deal of this month (November) trying to watch as many new-to-me movies in my queue as I can. I think I’ll try and write them up quickly over on my letterboxd, we’ll see!

Also, though The Vamps was intended to be an October series, the month’s general hecticness meant I didn’t get the final essay finished before the end of the month. So, in November, you all have that post to look forward to. (See if you can guess who it is! Hint: she’s a Dane.)

The reviews below are essentially transcriptions of the notes I took right after watching the films. They’re presented in the order in which I watched them.

Enough blathering, on to the movies. BELOW THE JUMP!

Dolls (1987)

29 May 1987 | 77 min. | Color

As a long-time devotee of the Band family’s productions, I’m always down for a Band film I haven’t seen. (When I was a kid, we probably spent a dozen times what it would have cost to buy Pet Shop (1994) renting it from Dollar Video.)

Yes, I did talk about haunted doll movies in my last roundup but this one was more fun, okay? The cast of characters are a great larger-than-life assortment of weirdos. I wish that 1980s English punks would just keep popping up in horror films after the 1980s. I particularly liked the performance of the little girl’s father. In most other movies, it would be a terrible performance, but in Dolls, it’s pitch perfect.

Dolls is a fairytale story that creates the atmosphere of a child’s viewpoint. The dolls are scary and do scary things, but, of course, they can be reasoned with.

As with many Full Moon movies, Dolls had a great balance of scares and campy humour. The doll designs are gross and fun–especially their wet, bloodshot eyes.

Dolls is a great choice for someone who watched a lot of Are You Afraid of the Dark? growing up and wants a “grown-up” version of that.

Funland (1987)

16 October 1987 | 98 min. | Color

After watching Dolls on Amazon Prime, this film was recommended. From the plot description and the featured image, we expected a fun slasher film. And, with William Windom (who I’m pretty sure took time off of Murder, She Wrote to make this movie!!!) in the cast, we couldn’t resist. What we got was… a… comedy? I guess?

There’s no doubting that there are some talented performers in this movie, but it’s just not funny. The only reason I’m writing about Funland at all is that it’s a good example of the kind of cheesy movie where you can see what could have been a good (or at least more interesting) movie underneath the movie that was actually made.

How exactly do you think: “I’m gonna make a movie about a killer clown fighting mobsters!” and then come up with this movie? I wrote a much longer complaint but, I won’t subject you to it. In short, Funland doesn’t execute its plot very well.

I definitely wouldn’t recommend this one. However, I am curious if any Atlanta natives have feelings about this movie? It seems like it features a lot of locals.

Flying Air Canada

The movie below are what I watched on my plane journeys to and from Seoul. I was flying Air Canada and I need to rant for a sec before moving on to my thoughts on the films.

There are a lot of reasons why captions (or subtitles, if you’re British) are necessary. They’re needed by lots of people, including people who aren’t d/Deaf or hard of hearing. If you want to learn more about why captions are good Jessica Kellgren-Fozard has you covered.

Personally, I have sensory processing disorder (SPD). This prompts me to have captions on when I watch most things. At home, I do this because not every movie or TV show I watch has decent sound mixing. It seems to be an art a lot of film/video makers are neglecting nowadays. Ho hum. I keep captions on so I don’t need to constantly change the volume. On a plane, my SPD is significantly worse because the noise of the plane is so loud that there’s little to no chance of me catching dialogue without raising the volume too high for my own comfort. Unlike the airlines I travel on within the US, Air Canada’s captioned offerings are practically nonexistent. That’s why so many of the movies I ended up watching were foreign-language (or ASL) films–they came with English subtitles.

Now, Air Canada, listen: Most of the movies you had on offer are definitely available with captions elsewhere. Even in theaters they likely had open-caption screenings. What is the deal? Seriously.

Anyway, sometimes I take for granted that we do some things right in America.

Okay, back to movies.

Mary Shelley (2017)

9 September 2018 | 120 min. | Color

This film didn’t have captions, which honestly might have weighed negatively on my experience of it. I was excited to see Mary Shelley. Mary and Percy Shelley are two of my absolute favorite literary historical figures and I love their work. This movie was a let down. It seemed like it was meant to be a character piece but the characters felt more like types than people. Also, don’t get me wrong here: I give no ground to fuckboys, but the depiction of Percy Shelley felt particularly oversimplified.

A Quiet Place (2017)

9 March 2018 | 90 min. | Color

Everybody raving about this movie was totally right. Definitely check it out if you haven’t already. Even if you’re not big on horror, it’s worth a shot.

How Long Will I Love U (2018)

18 May 2018 | 101 min. | Color

Scrolling through Air Canada’s film options, I got the feeling that time-travel romance is pretty popular right now in China and Korea? I think I picked the right one to watch in How Long Will I Love U. The premise put me in mind of The Lake House (2006), a movie I don’t like but can never resist watching when it’s on TV. This movie is a lot better than The Lake House. The premise is pretty cool and the plot is spurred on by a proper sci-fi concept. The leads are very cute together. I love that the main characters both kinda suck but become better people in getting to know one another. The special effects are good looking, conceptually fun, and not excessive.

I highly recommend this one. It’d probably be a great date movie or a Friday-night-with-some-Chunky-Monkey-and-a-cuddly-pet movie.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable — Chapter 1 (2017)

4 August 2017 | 119 min. | Color

Listen. I have friends who are big fans of the JoJo manga and anime. I have never read any of the manga and couldn’t get past the first episode of the anime. That said, when I saw Takashi Miike directed this live-action adaptation of a story arc in the multi-generational JoJo series, I hit that play button right fast. Then, to my surprise, I enjoyed it! I often struggle with the visuals in live-action adaptations of anime and manga, but I loved how Diamond is Unbreakable played with the characters’ unique styling and design. The superhero-like story drew me in a lot faster than the anime and might just get me to look into some of the manga.

This movie might be a hard sell for a lot of people but if you wanna see something that’s out there and imaginative with supernatural overtones, Diamond is Unbreakable might be fun for you. Don’t worry–it’s easy to follow even if you don’t know who Joseph Joestar is. (Yes, that really is a character’s name.)

Un Traductor / A Translator (2018)

19 January 2018 | Color

I had no idea that following the Chernobyl disaster, some of the victims were sent to Cuba for medical treatment. I also had no idea that the program continued until 2011?! So, Un Traductor was a modern history lesson for me! Un Traductor is a model film for propaganda filmmaking–and I mean that in a fully complimentary way. The film does an admirable job of communicating how life for Cubans changed with the fall of the Soviet Union and how they adjusted to persevere.

You can probably gather from what you just read that this isn’t a fun watch, but it’s worthwhile if you have any interest in modern Cuban history.

A Casa Tutti Bene / There is No Place Like Home (2018)

14 February 2018 | 105 min. | Color

I don’t have a lot to say about this one frankly. It’s a decent family dramedy. Massimo Ghini and Sabrina Impacciatore both turn in good performances. *shrugs in Italian*

That’s all for this month’s roundup! Are you all ready for Noirvember? How about Kicksgiving? If you’re a Filmstruck subscriber, what are you marathoning this month?

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frederator-studios · 6 years

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Diane Obomsawin: The Frederator Interview

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Diane Obomsawin, also known by her pen name Obom, is a Quebec author, illustrator, and animator. After becoming a legend in the comic art scene in Montreal, she forayed into animation—and we can all be glad for it. Her films are quirky and evocative; funny and full of heart. Her latest short film, “I Like Girls” (2016), based on her graphic novel On Loving Women, won the Nelvana Grand Prize for Independent Short at the 40th Ottawa International Animation Festival. It is a film close to her own heart, featuring the story of her own coming of age, and coming out. I was privileged to discuss the importance of positive Queer representation, and combatting stereotypes of homosexuality in film and TV, with a leader and role model in LGBTQ media such as Diane.

When did you first become interested in animation?

I began making graphic novels when I was 10 years old. I was always drawing, but it wasn’t until a friend recommended animation to me, that later in life - I was 35 - I joined the animation program at Concordia.

How did you become involved with the NFB?

My teacher at Concordia, Wendy Tilby, had long made productions with the NFB. I was lucky to learn from her; at the same time that she taught me the ‘correct’ methods to animate, she encouraged me not to change from the different ways I’d been working. The NFB was looking for someone to do a few author commissioned short films, “Understanding the Law,” and she recommended me. It was a great, because although they were commissions, I could do them in my own style. At first I was nervous about bringing my humor into them—but they told me to have fun, so I did!

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How did you come to write the graphic novel, On Loving Women?

I wanted to tell tiny, real stories. All my life, lesbians and gay people have been marginalized. Now there is less marginalization, and more films and TV series talk about lesbian and gay people’s experiences. So when I went to write the graphic novel, it felt as though society was ready to hear these stories—and I felt ready to tell them. I hadn’t always been. But even if the timing is better now, for so many years, lesbians - gay people, but lesbians especially - have not been represented in films and TV. So as much as we’re talking about these experiences more now, we can never talk about them too much. With the Bechdel test, we see that women are already under-represented in movies, and lesbians have been practically nonexistent; aside from the old trope of lesbian and gay love ending in tragedy! I wanted to show the reality of lesbian’s experiences - the joy, bittersweetness, sexuality - in their own words.

What was your process in interviewing women for the piece?

I chose 10 friends of all different ages. My hope was to interview women young to old to reflect the variations in stories across generations. The youngest was 28, and the oldest was 70. But that didn’t translate into the film—the oldest woman is actually Charlotte, but she appears to be the youngest because the actress was young. But I purposefully cast young actors because it’s a film about youth. I asked my friends about their first attraction, not first love. And first attraction might begin very young - ages 5, 6, 7 - long before they realize their sexuality, or fall in love with another woman.

And all of the little details in the story - did they just emerge during your talks?

Oh yes, I didn’t change anything. I recently asked my friend, “Is it true? You ate Pepsi dipped ice cream cones?” and she said, “Yeah, absolutely!” The details came naturally. I think it helped that I didn’t directly ask them about their experiences, so much as their smallest memories - anything that came to the conscious. I was so surprised by some stories. One friend, she never consciously or unconsciously felt attracted to another girl, nor realized that she was a lesbian. It all came together for her in a single day, when she was in college. She tried LSD and fell in love with a woman, in that order.

Whoa, what a story. It must have been tough to choose only a few for “I Like Girls”!

So difficult. I chose four: the ones I felt to be the most romantic, the goofiest - Wonder Woman with a horse face - and my own. As well as the saddest story, Marie’s. Hers is even more sad in the graphic novel: her mother gave her a terrible time, trying to put her into treatment for her “problem”. Her experience is what I mean by generational difference. Marie is only 5 years older than me, and just from those 5 years, our realities were so disparate. The culture shifted and perceptions changed—not totally, but quickly. They impacted our parent’s perspectives. For her family, and those of my other older friends, coming out was a very big deal. “You’re not my daughter anymore”—they considered it unacceptable. But when I came out, I was accepted. My parents told me, “We love you, we want you to be happy”. I was lucky. But even though it’s easier today, it’s still not easy. In normalizing the experience of coming out, I was thinking about young people who are going through it now.

Have any responses to the film stayed with you?

Yes—it’s been so touching to hear from young women that they identified with a character, or that the film helped them in some way. One even sent me a picture of a tattoo she got of one of the graphic novel characters. I remember reading The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith (adapted into the film Carol, 2015). It was the first novel that ended happily for women in a lesbian relationship. I felt such joy and relief seeing myself in those characters. And so did countless lesbians and gay people who have written to her for years since!

What were techniques you used to make “I Like Girls,” and how did you choose to make them animals?

For some of the scenes, I used rotoscoping. The scene with two characters in bed together, I filmed dancers, for their comfort level and ability to move. Then I drew over them. It’s already difficult to draw two bodies entwined, but it’s even more so with a non-realistic art style like mine. And I also rotoscoped because it was important to me that the character’s movements be sensual, and that they be sexy. There’s a stereotype of gay women as lacking sexuality, and I wanted to make a point against that. And my non-realistic style is also why I gravitate toward animals rather than humans; if I could draw people that didn’t look so boring, I would! But the main reason to make them animals was to ensure that my friends wouldn’t feel too close when they saw their stories unfold on-screen. They could still recognize themselves, but with a degree of separation.

Do you have a favorite among your films, or love them equally?

I think I love them equally. Well… maybe “Kaspar”, perhaps because it didn’t do well at festivals. It’s like if you have one in the bunch that is less successful, you actually like it more! “Here and There” was about my own adolescence, growing up; “Kaspar” was about Kaspar Hauser, who grew up in a cave before dying very young; and “I Like Girls” is of course about coming of age. I realized recently that they all talk about childhood! So the next one will be something new. It also won’t have voiceover - there will be dialogue, but not voice-over.

What are you up to currently?

I’m working on my friend Khoa Lê’s film, “Dans nos ville”. He brought on 18 other creators, including me, to each do a segment on a different fairytale. It’ll play for 7 days in 7 different places, narrated by an actor and with live music. It’s exciting, but my segment is almost 4 minutes long—and I have a month and a half to do it! So I’m using more abstract animation than usual. I’m also doing the opening animation for Le Carrousel festival in Rimouski, which has a focus on children’s and YA work. The animation is a series of loops that go up and down—it’s meant to have a feeling of perpetual movement, reminiscent of a carousel.

You’ve recently ventured into visual exhibitions as well - how do you like compared to traditional mediums?

t’s a different way to tell a story! Unlike graphic novels and films, they don’t require a beginning and end. You can come into the story at any point. In 2015, I created an animated visual art installation in Quebec City called “La Forêt” (“The Forest”). We projected images of a forest upon three charcoal covered walls. My aim was for the spectator to feel that they are not supposed to be there; they are spying on the forest life, and the forest is revealing its secrets. Tiny things happen, mostly from mythology and fairy tales. Little Red Riding Hood makes an appearance. I have another installation coming up for spring 2019. It will be half animation, half-graphic novel; spread throughout three gallery rooms of a small museum. The theme is dreams and mythology. I dream a lot, a lot, a lot—so I record them in a journal. I want to explore the links between our dreams and mythology.

Do you have other projects in the works?

Do you have a favorite artist and favorite animated film?

One of my very favorite artists is Copi. I like his simple drawings and his writing, which is absurd, poetic, and corrosive all at once. I discovered him when I was young, and didn’t know whether he was a man or a woman until I was an adult, and found out that he was an Argentinian transvestite and playwright, and lived in Paris. So far as films… I could choose a different favorite animated film every week. But today, I will go with the very beautiful and strange film Nighthawk from Spela Cadez. After I saw it, I asked myself, “What just happened to me?”. Watching that film is a very sensitive experience.

Thank you so much for the interview Diane! I look forward to keeping up with your many projects. Especially excited for your next short film!

- Cooper

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thewestmeetingroom · 3 years

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The West Meeting Room - Everyone is an Artist: A Conversation with Adeyemi Adegbesan Transcript

SPEAKERS Jessica Rayne, Zoe Dille, Adeyemi Adegbesan (AKA Yung Yemi)

Jessica Rayne Hello! And welcome to The West Meeting Room. We are broadcasting from Hart House and you're listening to CiUT 89.5 FM. And we're grateful to be taking up space on Dish With One Spoon Territory. I'm Jessica Rayne, Program Associate at Hart House and I'll be your host for today's show, along with my colleague Zoe Dille. Today we'll be discussing art, community and mentorship with Yung Yemi, Toronto-based photographic artist whose practice aims to examine the intersectionality of Black identity. Yung Yemi uses his art as a way of weaving together his connection with his community. He brings us into his creative process where he remixes and samples history with reimagining of the future. We are delighted to have Yung Yemi join us in conversation and take a closer look at his art and the work he's been doing with community. We are also excited to have him engaged in the Hart House Black Futures and Youth Access Programming. If you have not seen Yung Yemi’s work, be sure to follow him @yung.yemi on social media.

Jessica Rayne So you know, we're so happy to have you Yemi be a part of this. You know, we've been talking since last year around what we can do together. So I'm glad that we get this chance to speak with you. So just to start off, it would be great just like introducing yourself to the world or the listeners that would be listening to this. Like what do you do? How do you describe what you do? Who you are?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Well, first of all, I appreciate you guys having me on. It's great to be here with you guys today. So for the listeners, my name is Adeyemi Adegbesan. I'm a Toronto-based visual artist. I guess the main theme of my work is Afrofuturism and, and Pan Africanism. And I work in a number of different disciplines. I work with photography, illustration, and I'm getting a little bit into sort of mural making and some sculptural stuff as well. And I guess my background, artistically, I guess, is in photography. I spent a number of years as a commercial photographer before I started sort of going down that path. And before that, I was a youth outreach worker. So it's been, it's been an interesting journey in my adult life. But I'm very, very happy to be here and very, very honored that I get the opportunity to do this and make a living doing what I love.

Zoe Dille So you, you mentioned a whole lot of things there. But funny enough, I'm listening to you, and I'm like, they all kind of connect in a way, right?

Adeyemi Adegbesan So yeah, there's definitely a common thread of commonality between where I've been and where I'm at now. It's definitely, it hasn't been like, you know, a traditional path by any means. But um, it's, from my perspective, it's just felt like a pursuit. Like, I've just felt like I've been sort of, sort of chasing a vision for a long time. And I, like again, I just like, I just have a lot of gratitude in this moment, because I feel like I'm a lot closer to it now than I ever have been in the past. But yeah, when I, when I look at all the steps that it took to get here like it, it does make sense, you know. Even though I'm sure like, you know, from another perspective, it might seem like sort of like a random hodgepodge of different endeavors like, it makes sense once it, once it gets broken down.

Zoe Dille For sure. I mean, I will just say about tradition, I think it's highly overrated. S that’s ok that you did your own path. So we are, we are still in the official decade of African peoples. And you mentioned Afrofuturism and I wonder, I mean, there are a lot of different takes on it. But from your perspective, what does that mean and how do you describe it and in what ways does that kind of help to inform your art work?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Well, um, yeah. There are a lot of different takes on it, I think. I think like in, in the early 90s, there was like sort of a definition that got popularized, which is basically like this - it was, it was sort of simplistic. It was like traditional sci fi sort of from like a white Eurocentric perspective, but just appropriated by Black people. And it like, it, I guess that makes sense. But it's like, it's sort of, it's very simplistic. But I think like, over the last couple of decades that definition has become a lot more nuanced. And like, you know, here in 2020, the working definition that I'm working from is basically like, it's a fantasy sort of realm, but it's based on African, African and Black spirituality, and sort of, I guess like a reverence for the ancestors’ ancestral knowledge. But yeah, it's positioned in this sort of fantastical, futuristic realm. And, like, the value of that is that it's, it's just a really free creative space. Um, I think like, a lot of Black art gets, like, especially once it gets into the institutions, and you know, the high art galleries, it gets, at times, it gets, like, hyper literalized. And that, and that's cool because it imparts a lot of knowledge of, you know, African culture. And that's an amazing, important thing. But the flip side of it is that it can become somewhat restrictive. In terms of like, the, I guess, just the imaginary, the creative aspect of, you know, of art that I think a lot of people, a lot of just, you know, common people really appreciate. And Afrofuturism kind of like provides a platform for that type of art, that type of creativity that doesn't have necessarily a textbook definition. It doesn't have like a - it doesn't need to have like a super specific historical connection or historic context. It can, it can really just be a place of pure expression, much of the way that hip hop was like, in the late 70’s, and early 80’s. It was just kind of like a breath of fresh air. Where in a culture where people have become heavily jaded towards, you know, modern music and pop cultural music, it was just like this new voice that was just like raw expression. And I think that's kind of like what Afrofuturism as a genre is offering right now in terms of art creation.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Yeah, I mean, you mentioned a lot there. But two things that stuck out to me is like, just this sense of possibility that you have when you think about Afrofuturism, right. And that is the kind of fantasy part, but then it's not all just like something that's out of this world that's totally unattainable, because it is entrenched in this ancestral knowledge and in this self-knowledge of African peoples. And so I think, and we'll talk about this a little bit later on, but I think this is something that is like so needed at this moment, you know, for us to think about all the possibilities and all the strength and all the power and and knowledge that African peoples and African civilizations hold for us at this really kind of critical time. But I will circle back to that in a bit. Jessica?

Jessica Rayne Yeah. No, I just wanted to say, like, what you're saying Yemi is very important, I think because when we think about art as expression and a lot of the expression of our people could be sometimes, you know what I mean, a lot of community trauma, right? So a lot of questions through art sometimes are heavier or you know, kind of reflecting on that trauma and pain, often. But this - being able to experience this, and I know there's other artists out there as well that do this, but I mean, it's just Yeah, a fresh breath of air. It's inspiring. It's, it's unique. It's also trenched in kind of just your own identity, right? Like, there's something that it does when you watch, when you actually experience it, or you see your artwork around your African ancestry, right? So I think yeah, this type of art is definitely very important. Even people who are not so into, you know, the, I won't even say, futurism ideas, right. But what that, yeah - So, um, I wanted, Yeah, there's a few things there that I want to circle back on. So I guess, right now, I want to take it back to - you talk a little bit about your journey and how it wasn't really, you know, the straight and narrow path to becoming an artist doing what you're doing now. But I want to learn a little more about that. So what is your story? So take us back into like the time that you - what sparked you, your passion for the arts? And then what was the journey like actually becoming an artist? Because I know, for a lot of artists, even though they are doing their craft, or doing the work, they may not call themselves an artist until a particular moment in time. So just understanding what that's been like for you, and how you've defined yourself as an artist and when that took place would be great.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Sure. Yeah, that's a - and I totally get that. I think, like, I think everybody really is an artist. But I guess, not everyone is an artist for their profession. And like, not everyone makes a living at it. So that's how I defined it for my, I guess, or just the sort of definition that I made for myself. Like that my goal was to make a living off of my art. So that's, I've always felt like I was an artist, but like, my, one of the things that drove me the most was to be able to make a living off of that art. And that's, you know, that's definitely tricky. Like, my pathway, there was, um, you know, it started - like, my earliest memories are just, you know, sitting in my living room or sitting in my bedroom drawing. Like my mom was a nurse. Like, I grew up with a single parent mother. She was a registered nurse. She worked nights most of the time. So I would be at a babysitter all night. And then I’d come home in the day. She was sleeping and I had to occupy myself. We didn't, we couldn't afford a television. So I - like pen, pencils, and paper was like my go to way of entertaining myself. So like, that's literally like my earliest childhood memories. I drew and painted like a lot all through elementary school up until high school. I took a little break in high school. I got really into sports and like being an artist, like drawing and stuff, like it really wasn't cool. So I took a couple years off from that. But um, you know, like in my late teenage years, I sort of got back into it. I started a little clothing line with a friend of mine. And, you know, we would put designs on T-shirts and hoodies and stuff like that. And then from there, I got into sort of like, graphic design, web design stuff. I started messing around with like video editing. And it was just like one thing after another. Like I tried tattooing for a little while. And like I didn't, I didn't even get into photography until about the age of like, around 28,29 is when I really started taking photography seriously. And I do, like I honestly think that if photography didn't work out for me, like I probably would have just been like, okay, like, this art thing really is not meant to be and I just have to find another path. But, you know, again, like I just feel so fortunate that like the photography thing like - I guess it was just a lot of things clicked once I started trying to look at the world through a camera lens. Like a lot of things just made sense. A lot of the learning I had done in the past for other artistic disciplines, I was able to apply it, apply that learning, that knowledge much more effectively through photography for whatever reason. And that it just opened up for me and that was the beginning of me being able to support myself with my art. And like once I got to that stage, It just allowed me to put all my time and effort and energy into what I was doing. I didn't have to, like moonlight or you know, do it in the evenings or weekends anymore. I could just like do it all day every day. And that, I guess that was sort of like a turning point. Like, my sort of life as an artist is like, centered around continued learning. That always, I always want to be learning, I always want to be picking up a new skill or a new, you know, just like putting time and effort to developing something new. So that's kind of how I got from photography to the place I'm at now is just by experimenting on a consistent basis and just trying to add new things into the mix all the time. Um, but yeah, that’s the pathway in a nutshell, I guess. Like I don't know, I don't really know how else to put it. But yeah, it's, uh, it's been like a really interesting path. Like, I don't have any, I don't have any art, schooling. I never went to art school or anything like that. But it's just a lot of tutorials and a lot of asking questions and a lot of trial and error. And it worked out. I had a couple of mentors, especially with photography. One, off the top, was a gentleman named Taha Muharuma and he's a really dope photographer from Toronto. His Instagram is @tahaphoto. He's just like a really dope street photographer. And he reached out to me, like, out of the clear blue, like, really early on, when I was starting photography. He just saw me on Instagram and just reached out and said, like,”hey, do you wanna go out and take some photos one day?” and I met up with him. And he taught me like, a lot of stuff about photography, you know, just really informally. But it had a huge impact on my development. And another person I definitely have to shout out is Jimmy Chiale. He's like a, he's an abstract painter. He's done, like, his work is all over the city, it’s very, very noticeable. And he, like, he's been a friend of mine for a long time, as well. And just like, he just has this raw creative energy, probably like the purest artist that I've ever been around. Like, it just, it just really flows out of him. And he just always encouraged me to pursue it. Like he, um, I wouldn't call him a mentor from a technical standpoint, because what we do is just like way way different from each other. But from an ideological perspective, like, he was definitely a mentor to me, just in terms of like, just do it till you figure it out. And like his story is amazing, too. You know, he immigrated here from Paris when he was like, you know, in his early teenage years. He was homeless for a little while and he went from selling his drawings and paintings at the corner of like Queen and Bathurst, you know, to having his own gallery space in Toronto a few years ago. It's just been like, an amazing journey for him as well. And, yeah, he's just always, like, throughout the course of our friendship, he's just always been really encouraging and supportive.

Zoe Dille It's so inspirational, like, just to hear a lot of the things that you're saying, just to pick up on mentors - I mean, something we were, Jessica and I and others on our team were kind of just thinking about a bit - we were tasked with doing these introduction videos for, you know, some new students we were going to be working with, and we had some prompt questions, and one of them was around, like, “Who's your mentor? Or what's the importance of being a mentor?” And, you know, it just made me think a bit about all the people along the path of my life so far who have been important to me. So many of which don't even know they were a mentor to me, you know, or maybe were not the traditional, you know, “I'm going to teach you this craft, or I'm going to job shadow you,” it's just like, wow, I really aspire to have the values of this person or just kind of carry myself the way that this person does. So, super important. But, you know, so, first of all, I’m so not an artist. I'm still on the stick people. That's about where I began and ended my artistic - I'm creative in a thought kind of way, in a writing kind of way, but not anything I do with my hands or whatever. So to be self-taught, I always, you know, have a lot of respect for people who are able to, you know, have that as something that they just sort of pick up, as you mentioned. And then just thinking about you not having a TV, I also grew up pretty much without a TV, just because my parents were really stingy and they didn't believe in TV. Which I thank them for now because I got us all into music and just being outside and all of that, but to think about you, as a child being in the single parent home and almost you know what they call like a latchkey kid because your mom, as you said was working and you had like babysitters, etc… To being where you are now, where your work is really public, where you had this little - Jessica was gonna talk to you a little bit about the show she saw at Harbourfront that she did, but also your latest commission with the Raptors. Like, talk a little bit about kind of, you know, do you sit back at all and say like, wow. You know, do you have like a “pinch me” moment? You know, this latest thing, I saw your T shirt that you did for the Raptors and I was like, where do I get one of those? Which I'll still hit you up about later because I want one. But like how did that all sort of unfold? And you know, how do you feel about your work and being kind of connected to sports at this really pivotal moment with so much stuff that’s going on? And you know, Raptors I think are at the forefront of what's going on with NBA and social justice movement.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Yeah, honestly, like, again, um, I mean, this will become a theme throughout this conversation, I guess. But it's mostly, it's just gratitude. Like, I don't feel like a lot of like a direct ownership over my work. I feel like it's more of a process of channeling. So I'm just, I'm grateful when I get, when I get that inspiration and I'm grateful when it connects with people. I'm grateful when it resonates with people and I'm grateful when it finds its way into opportunities. Like the thing with the Raptors, you know, I'm, I, you know, obviously like growing up being super into basketball, I had like, I had the posters all over my wall. I had a big Damon Stoudamire poster on my wall. I had a big Vince Carter poster on my wall. So to go from that to, you know, to designing shirts specifically for the Raptors to where, you know, as you said, it like it is a super pivotal moment, you know, where they're not only athletes, but they're also embracing their activism and, you know, fighting for social justice. It's an incredible honor. And I'm so grateful to be here. But it's also, it's something that I don't like, I don't really think of it as my thing, as like I, you know, I have ownership over this action or this moment. It’s more just like I just happen to be like a conduit. I'm sort of in the right place at the right time to just channel some of these ideas and some of this energy and bring it over to this, this other space, you know. Um, so that's kind of, that's kind of how I look at it. And when I look at my life from that perspective, I just think of it as a very fluid experience. I'm not, I'm not super attached. Like I was 1,000% I was the definition of a latchkey kid, you know. I literally had a key on a string that I’d wear around my neck. But I like I don't think of it as you know, as this like, personal accomplishment really, like I don't. I just don't choose to view it that way. It's just, it's just more of a fluid experience. And I've had, like, I've had an amazing range of experiences throughout my life. I've been very, you know, growing up in a very low income family, like I've, you know, been to the food bank. I've, you know, had clothing donated to me. I've had that experience. And I, you know, I've been a youth worker. I've been in, you know, all kinds of communities working with young people across the city. And I've been in those experiences and I've experienced loss and I've experienced gain. And, you know, in the last couple years, I've had the great fortune, even to, you know, to get out of Canada and do some traveling. You know, I've been to Europe, I've been to Asia and just experiencing other cultures. And it's all just, you know, part of like one big fluid sort of existence, and I just try to focus on the gratitude of it, you know,

Zoe Dille Mm hmm. Gratitude is super important and just a way of life. And I think something that people are somewhat waking up to, and since COVID, right. So hopefully, it will continue. But, yeah, I mean, I think it's, again, you know, you reference the posters that you had and being into basketball, and then being able to do this. I mean, it must be pretty amazing. I know. I don't know, Mark, Mark Stoddart that well, but I know he's also an artist. We did a little work with him a few years ago on an event. So it was, just it was really cool to see that both of you guys, you know, were sort of tapped to - do you feel like it was your work? Was that like more of a personal connection? Were they just drawn to your work? Was there a process of submissions for that? How did, how did that unfold?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Well, yeah, like, I mean, I had a previously existing relationship with the team. Like I've been doing a lot of creative work for MLSE as a whole. Since say 2016 or 2017, I've been part of campaigns for like TFC, the Raptors, the Leafs, you know, even like I designed some of the season tickets for the Raptors last year. So like a lot of, a lot of different stuff like that. So they definitely were aware of who I was and what my style of work was. So I think it was just like, sort of like a natural connection when they, when this opportunity came up, and they started looking for people. And then, you mentioned Mark Stoddart. So I was able to bring Mark Stoddart in to work on this, on this project with me, and like, he's just, he's just an amazing artists. Like he's been, in terms of the Black community here in Toronto, like, he's, he's been a consistent presence, and a creative force in that scene, you know, since like it basically since like, the late 80s, you know, and, and also touching back on the concept of being a mentor, like, he's been a mentor to so many to so many young black artists coming up in Toronto over the past, you know, over the past 30 years, you know, so it was, it was amazing to be able to work with him on this project, because he's like, he's woven into the fabric of, of the black creative community here in Toronto. And it's just, you know, it's an honor to be able to work with him on it.

Jessica Rayne You know, you mentioned your community work and engaging youth and you work community work, outreach worker, prior to getting your out art out there and making a living off of your art. So if you can talk a bit about that, like, tell us a bit about the work that you did what you do in the community, in the past, but also how you're doing it now on your approach to working with you, and what's the importance of art and creating art for youth? And I don't know if that's, that is how you were engaging with youth prior. But yeah, if you can just share some of that with us.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Um, yeah, absolutely. So like, my educational background is actually in social work. I have a BSW from Ryerson. And that kind of led me into, like, you know - in school, my focus was always on working with youth. Like in a social work program, you're kind of, you're encouraged to sort of pick, like a demographic to, to center your learning around. So I just, I just gravitated towards youth, I guess. I guess, because, you know, when I started at school, like I technically was still a youth, you know, so I don't know but for whatever reason, it just made sense to me, and I just kind of, like, I kept going with that. It started from working, just like summer camps and stuff like that. And transitioned to working after-school programs. And then into the youth outreach work. And yeah, like, my main methods for engaging with youth were always either art or basketball. Like, those are the things that I knew and that I could be sort of like openly passionate about. And that was just like, that was just a huge thing. Throughout my experience, you know, being a youth worker was just to be able to be authentic with the youth that I was working with. Because that's one thing that I learned very, very quickly is that the youth that you're working with will know immediately if you're not being real with them, if you're not being authentic with them. It's like, they just have like built in, a built in like radar, sonar, whatever, that just, like, tells them right away. So I, you know, I could, like, show them something, like, you know, create, like an art program with them or something like that. And like, they could see how into it I was and how like open I could be about it and vulnerable I could be about it. And that would I guess allow them to connect to me. And that was, that was always like a main drawing point. And yeah, like the work - like a lot of the time it was just like general outreach work, like just trying to trying to develop programming that would bring youth into the centers to develop, like they have drop-in spaces that could function as you know, just a place to hang out, but also some programming that could impart life skills and you know, just help connect them to other resources that would help in their own personal developments. So, you know, sometimes that was - it was a lot of art, it was a lot of basketball. Sometimes it was cooking. Sometimes it was like trying to bring a speaker in from youth employment services to speak about financial literacy or stuff like that. And the last couple of years of youth work that I did, I transitioned into working with newcomer youth. So I was working with Access Alliance for a little while. And that was, that was really, it was a little bit of a different experience. It was really eye opening because working with youth that were, a lot of them were like, newly landed. Many of them were refugee claimants and so forth. So I got introduced to this whole other side of things, you know, seeing like youth coming into the center, and they've only been in Canada for like, two weeks or something like that. I actually, you know, I witnessed some youth getting deported. Like the pain of like, you know, kids coming into center, and like their friend is gone on. It's a Tuesday and all of a sudden their friend is gone. It's like, what happened? And like, Oh, yeah, people came to their house last night and put them on a plane, and they're like, they're back in, you know, they're back in Iran, or back in Syria or something like that. And so that, that really gave me a new sort of perspective on life and how much value there is and how much privilege there is in, you know, for me to be here, to be a Canadian citizen and have this opportunity. So yeah, it's just, it's again, it just speaks to the range of experiences. It's, it was really a very eye opening and very humbling experience.

Zoe Dille We were just chatting about gratitude before. And just based on what you've just said and everything you just said just now, as well as when you were talking, referencing sort of having to be authentic with youth, and how they can kind of sniff that out in a second when you’re not. But I would add that you know, empathy, having a lot of empathy, right, in your work as a social worker, and just as a human being. Like gratitude and empathy, they're good markers to steer you in being a good human being, right.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Absolutely, absolutely.

Zoe Dille So just I wanted to ask you, actually, because earlier you mentioned about hip-hop being kind of like this liberating and very free form, and just kind of full of possibility when it was initially coming up in the 70s. And kind of linking that to Afrofuturism, how we think about Afrofuturism. And specifically with the Afro, the way that you kind of remade various hip hop women like your Lauryn Hills and your Erykah Badus and all of that in your artwork. I wonder if you could just speak about what made you - I mean I love those two - but what made you choose like those particular figures that you worked with in your artwork? And you know, what is it about those women that kind of made you create the work that you did?

Adeyemi Adegbesan In a word, I feel like they're liberators, you know. I think music has been a huge influence on my whole life. It's been a source of inspiration. It's been a source of education. And when I do work around these musicians, I just try to honor people that have really had a profound personal impact on me. And through their own artistic creations, you know like Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu. Absolutely. I've done Fela Kuti as well, and a few others. And they're always just like people that I feel embody the same values, I guess, that I'm trying to convey through my work. So it's just trying to, like, sort of put those two things together. But yeah, like they, like those people have all been liberators. And I feel like the way that they live their life has been very unconventional, but just so profound at the same time, that it's just opened up a lot of space for other artists to come up in the footprints that they've created, you know. And that just means so much to me. So it's just like, it's just sort of like a way of honoring that, you know.

Zoe Dille I mean, listen, those women are fierce. If you throw on Lauryn Hill's Miseducation of Lauryn Hill -

Jessica Rayne Wooo! My fave! That was my first CD growing up. That was my first, I got a boombox, a CD player - I can't remember if it was my birthday or Christmas, but that's the CD that came with it and it was unbelievable

Zoe Dille Maaan, listen. I rinsed that CD. And Erykah Badu Baduizm

Adeyemi Adegbesan A hundred percent.

Zoe Dille Yeah. I mean, those women are so fierce. And so I was just gonna say like, if you throw on any of those ladies’ stuff today, you're like, Wow, it is totally on point. It sounds like it came out today. It still hits you in the gut, and you know, you're always gonna remember it.

Adeyemi Adegbesan A hundred percent. Yeah, it's really, it's like, it's timeless. Like, in the sense that it's a, it was, you know, obviously, it had a huge impact when it came out. But like you just said, like, when you throw it on it, you know, 20, 25 years later, it's still - Yeah, it has that same impact. And it's, it's wild to be able to imagine creating something like that as an artist. So, yeah.

Zoe Dille Definitely. I mean, when Verses, I don't know if you watch Verses at all, but when it first started, and they had Erykah Badu

Adeyemi Adegbesan And Jill Scott

Zoe Dille And Jill Scott, yes! I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

Adeyemi Adegbesan That was, that was definitely a moment. That was so incredible.

Zoe Dille For sure. For sure.

Jessica Rayne I wanted to ask a question around something you mentioned earlier in the conversation about like, us being like, everyone is an artist. And if you can elaborate on that definition. You said that's the definition you kind of work with. That everyone is an artist, but some people decide to make a craft out of their art. Can you share that? Like, what's your philosophy, more about that philosophy?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Well, like yeah. A hundred percent. I feel like everyone's an artist in the sense that like it, like having this innate creative ability is part of human existence. You know, it's part of, it's part of what makes a human, a human, I think. And I think everyone has that. Like, if you watch children play, like, most children have no problem, you know, if you give them some crayons and paper. Like, they'll do something with it, you know, before they're even aware of like what's good and what's not good, or whatever, like, evaluating it from that perspective. Like they can just innately produce something with those tools, you know, so I feel like everyone's an artist, on various levels. Like, we all have different things that we like to express, you know. Like, some people are musically inclined. Some people like to dance. Some people like to write. Some people like to draw. It really doesn't matter. I feel like gardening is an art form, you know. Like, it really doesn't matter. It's just, it's just how we express ourselves. Um, but yeah, like, there's a, I guess, a group of people that say, “hey, I want to take this to the next level, I want to do this all the time. And I want to generate the income that I need to live from doing this activity.” And that's just like, that for me was the sort of the challenge or the way I put it in my own head. It's nothing like, it's not to say that one person's art is more valuable, or more important. It's just like, I guess, taking on the added pressure and the added responsibility of figuring out how to make this as a living. And to be quite honest with you, like, I think for a lot of artists, a lot of young artists really focus on the craft and on the creative process. And rightfully so. Like, I think they, I think that should be the main focus, but I'll be honest with you. Like, I think the transition that takes you from, from that craft into a profession, a lot of times that transition doesn't happen because of skill level or because of creative output. A lot of times that happens because of just like, business acumen and work ethic and like really boring stuff that's, like, not fun to talk about. But like, that's one thing that I always try to impart on young artists when I'm talking to them or when I'm in a mentorship position. It's like, there's a lot of artists out there that make a living off of stuff that doesn't require a lot of talent, like flatly put. I'm not trying to shade anybody, but they have the, they've put in place the other aspects that you need to put in place to like make a business out of it, you know. And that requires as much attention, in some cases more attention than the actual creative process. Like I think it's, for a lot of young artists, it's a fantasy to just like, you know, do what you do and then just have somebody sort of come out of the clouds and say, “Oh, you're ordained as the next whatever. And we're just going to pay you like $500,000 a year to like to do this for the rest of your life.” But that's like, that happens about as often as people win the lottery, you know, or probably less so. So most of the time, most of the artists that you see that are professional working artists, they just, they found something that they love doing. And then they said, “Okay, I'm going to build a business around this. And that, like, a lot of the time that they spend, a lot of their weeks are spent doing like non-artistic things. But they just, they're just committed and focused to do those things to support the opportunity to, you know, to put their artwork out to share with the world.

Zoe Dille I think that's one of the takeaways, as you said, about anybody who wants to, whether you want to be a musician, or you want to be, you know, an artist, creative artist, is that, you know, like, at the end of the day, like, it is a craft and you have to put your time in to work on that. And to do that, like, you would never go out on tours as a musician and you hadn't rehearsed. Or you hadn't created new work, or you didn't, you know, have something. And it's the same thing, like you have to be always creating kind of new works. But at the same time, like if that is your, the way you choose to live your life and you want to just, you know, make a living and survive in this world, then you also have to put some time in and get serious about the other sides of, you know, having a business, like making a business out of your art. So it's not always as easy as you know, as you've said, as a lot of people maybe think that it is or that these sort of stories of overnight success, whether in music or in art, are few and far between. And frankly, I'm not sure there's such a thing as overnight success. Yeah,

Adeyemi Adegbesan Yeah. Exactly.

Jessica Rayne I know. You find out like the person that you're like, “Oh, my gosh, how did they do that so quickly?” Well, 20 years ago… you know, it always starts way back.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Exactly.

Jessica Rayne So I know, we got to wrap up soon, because we're almost at time. I have a question that just came out on the fly. Like, I just need to ask it. But in terms of the work - you know, I went to your exhibit at Harbourfront. And just thinking of the process, specifically around how, I'm assuming there's a lot of research that goes into this too and that you've probably been through a journey of kind of understanding your identity and just creating, you know, a connection to the motherland, Africa, in terms of all of the like – when I look at an image that you've created, I see, you know, a lot of the artifacts and the hair and the meaning of, you know, the tribal symbols. And so, just understanding what has that part been like for you, because I'm making an assumption here, that you must have done a lot of research and just in understanding, I mean, you know, history.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, like, I, like I've spent most of my life like just trying to understand my heritage and trying to understand, I guess like, African diasporic heritage in a broader sense, you know. I think like, you know, growing up without, like, a direct connection to my African ancestry, because my father is Nigerian, but he wasn't present in my life. So I like, I really had to undertake that journey, you know, on myself. Like, my mother was always super supportive and always encouraged me to pursue that knowledge, but like, I had to kind of come about it for myself. So a lot of it is, has been a lot of, it has been reading and, you know, seeking out connections in my community and just developing it on my own. And then when it comes out, when it comes out in the artwork, it's just kind of like drawing off all these reference points that I've come across along that path. It's kind of just like different synapses firing and I just, I just kind of tried to weave them together into like a coherent sort of visual language that kind of encompasses all of the things that I've come across that have had meaning on my journey and in my personal learning. And I like I don't try to present it in a way where I'm trying to replace the function of a history textbook. Like I never create a piece and say, “okay, like, you're supposed to look at this piece and it represents exactly this and this and this” um, that's not really where I'm trying to come from with my work. It's more like, I just want people to have more of a visceral like emotional reaction to it. A sense of maybe, maybe a sense of pride or at least a sense of curiosity, where they want to dig a little bit deeper. Maybe they'll see a symbol in it that reminds them of something that they grew up with. Or maybe they'll just recognize it and be like, “Wow, I've seen that like three or four times now and I really, I need to find out what that is.” And then they'll look into it a little bit more on their own and just realize, Hey, this is what that means. You know, that's an adinkra symbol, for instance, or something like that. And that's kind of, that's kind of where I'm coming from, with the work. It's a process of re-mixing. My actual, like, technical process is a process of re-mixing. And also like, from an ideological perspective, it's re-mixing, it's sampling. It's very similar, I think, in a lot of ways to what hip-hop music is, in that sense. It's a lot of small fragments woven together. But I really want the entry point to just be like a visceral emotional reaction. Like the same way that a song comes on, and you just feel it. You're like, this is dope. You might not know that the first snare was sampled off of, you know, like this soul record from 1960 or whatever. You might not know that off the top. If it really means a lot to and you want to dig into it, and you start, you look up the producers, and you look up all the sample credits and blah, blah, blah. Like that's, that's what the superfans do. And it sparks like a journey of musical knowledge, right. But that same song can also work for a person that doesn't want to go that deep with it. They can just feel it on like an emotional level. Like you know, “this is my song.” And every time it comes on, it's just like a head nod thing. And it just plays in the background and it’s just like, Yo, this is dope. And I want to be able to connect with people on that level as well. Like, that's really important to me because I feel like in the communities that I grew up in, in the communities that have been a part of in my life, not everyone had the bandwidth. Like I've been around a lot of people in my life that survival is like at the forefront of their existence. Like that's a primary focus, you know. I've also been around people where survival is not a word that comes out of their mouth, it's not really part of the vocabulary as well you know. And so I know what that side of it looks like, but a lot of the people I connected with, especially growing up, like survival was at the forefront, you know. And if that's where you're coming from, you might not have the mental bandwidth all the time to go that deep with a piece of art or with a song that you like. But I still want people like that to have something to connect it to even if it's just like on an intuitive level you know.

Zoe Dille You've just made me think about the Lauryn Hill picture in like even more of a different way when you're just talking about a re-mixing and sampling and this kind of layering and all these kinds of contexts. And it's just made me, in my mind's eye I'm seeing it like almost all over again. So that was really an awesome way to put it.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Aww that’s dope. That’s dope.

Zoe Dille And actually I just went to look quickly at it because Jessica and I both have a copy of one of your prints. So I just went, Yeah, it's like, I don't, I don't know if there is a title?

Jessica Rayne There has to be a name for it. So you had it at your event. It's the person who is like doing a shot? And then there's a dove flying over? What’s it called?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Oh yeah. The full title is Let It Fly (Prayer for a Black Boy - Reprise). And it was based off like a earlier work. Like, that's actually a photograph. Like the guy in the shot, like that was part of the photographic stuff that I did for that show. So like, I actually, I created his costume. We went out. I think we shot that last October probably. And I had him, I had him just like go through the motions of taking a shot and I took that photograph. The dove was added digitally later on. But other than that, it's sort of unlike, for instance, the Lauryn Hill piece is like all illustrative and collage work. But that particular piece, like is mostly a photograph. But it was based on an earlier piece that I did that was more of like a collage, illustrative piece. Like the concept of shooting the dove like a basketball. Um, and, yeah, it just, it just kind of speaks to that experience I have, you know, a lot of, I just feel like a lot of young men put, a lot of young Black men put like a lot of hope into these very, like tenuous sort of career paths. You know like, whether it's basketball, or another sport, or music or whatever. It's like these things that when you break the numbers down, it's very unlikely. But at the same time these things, they give us hope. They give us something to sort of rally around. They give us, like if you're trying to become a professional basketball player and it doesn't end up working out, it might still get you into a school. It might still get you, you know, out of a bad neighborhood. It might still make you that one student that the teacher puts a little extra effort into. Um, I don't know, like I've just seen just in my personal experience, like I've just seen it do a lot of things for a lot of people even if the overall dream didn't work out. It still provided some hope and some positive energy that helped guide that person to a better place than where they were at. Yeah.

Jessica Rayne Well, it is very inspirational this piece and I think like, it speaks to me in terms of just like, always take your shot. Like that's what it says to me. Like always - don't ever not take your shot. Amazing. So we are like, a bit over time. So we did you want to ask a few wrap up questions. Basically, I

Adeyemi Adegbesan A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

Jessica Rayne Amazing. So we are a bit over time. Zoe did you want to ask a few wrap-up questions?

Zoe Dille I think the only one, what's next for you Yemi? And like where people who are interested in checking out your stuff, not just online, but like, where could they? I know you've got some street art and stuff. So what would you suggest? What’s the intro to Yung Yemi.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Unfortunately, I think like a lot of what I have planned right now is going to be online for the foreseeable future and just kind of like a result of everything that's going on with COVID. It's been like put on pause, like a lot of in person - you have physical gatherings and especially in the art world, like planning for those things - like a lot of things are moving on online as a response. Um, so in the immediate future, it's gonna be probably difficult to see my work in person other than like, I'm doing a mural right now at Artscape Launchpad. So that will be there in a physical space. But outside of that, probably the best way to experience my work will be online. But I am in the studio full time like creating. Like, I'll be creating a lot of new work this fall and then once things open up a little bit, I'm sure that I'll be able to connect some opportunities to, you know, to do some new exhibitions in a physical space.

Zoe Dille And so going back to my Raptors T-shirt, where am I getting one of those?

Adeyemi Adegbesan Okay so the unfortunate truth about that is like these were designed specifically for the players to wear. So there isn't a plan right now to make those available to the public. It was just really for the players to have something to wear in the bubble in Orlando and to express where they're at, to connect to the movement. So the short answer is they're just not available to the public. And that's very unfortunate. But like, there's an outside chance that maybe they might do like a run later on to raise money for a charity or something like that.

Zoe Dille Okay. All right. I guess I have to suck it up for now.

Jessica Rayne Well, yeah. This was great. Yemi, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today. And we're looking forward to, you know, how we engage in the future at Hart House through the Black Futures program through the Hip Hop Education Program, the Youth Access Program. But for today, we are good. And this was a great conversation. Thank you so much.

Adeyemi Adegbesan Absolutely. It's my pleasure. Thank you guys so much for having me on.

Jessica Rayne Thank you to our guest, Yung Yemi. Thank you to my colleague, co-host Zoe Dille. Thank you Braeden and Day for helping produce the show. And most of all, thanks to you, our listeners. To find out more visit harthouse.ca or follow us @harthouseuoft. We're here every Saturday at 7am on CiUT 89.5 FM. And we post all of our episodes under Hart House Stories on SoundCloud. I'm Jessica Rayne signing off as your host for today. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week.

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scrawnydutchman · 4 years

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My Animation Journey: Thomas van Kampen

Hey everyone! It’s been a VERY long time since I updated my blog, huh?

So for this post I thought I would do something a little different. For those who don’t know, I’m a professional animator. I have been for about two years now. I’ve worked on shows like Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series, Care Bears: Unlock the Magic and Curious George. I’ve also been a part of a few other projects before that like the crowdfunded feature film Dawgtown. Reason I bring all of this up is I figured it might be helpful to some folks if they knew how exactly I got to this position. Nowadays it feels like if you throw a rock you’ll more than likely hit an aspiring professional artist, but for as many as there may be a lot of them aren’t actually sure if they can make it due to a number of doubts. Maybe they can’t afford schooling. Maybe they aren’t in a region where the industry is prominent. Maybe they just don’t know what they have to do to get studio attention. I personally feel that the story of how I broke in to the industry is pretty unique so my hope is that reading it might help many an aspiring artist gain confidence and maybe even fill in the blanks for their own story. So without further ado, let’s start at the beginning.

Part 1: The Beginning

My entire life I’ve always been a storyteller. When I was in elementary school I used to make little comic books out of stapled pieces of printer paper and hand them out to my classmates. In high school I wrote a 100 page fantasy novel and wrote/directed a play in drama class. My grades were never all that good, but I always scored high in art and creative writing projects. Here’s a comedy skit I put together back in high school with my friends (warning: incoming cringe):

youtube

As a testament to my love for storytelling, I thought for a very long time my destiny lied in live action film making. But that didn’t exactly pan out the way I hoped. For one, I was rejected from my nearby institute’s video production course 3 times. For another, I didn’t exactly have all the skills necessary to direct a production involving multiple people. Film proved to be a difficult path for me because I couldn’t work around peoples’ schedules and I couldn’t find the locations I wanted for the types of stories I wanted to tell. Best I could ever do was comedy skits. All this compounded failure left me drifting for a little while after high school.

But then, on my 18th birthday, my dad pulled me aside to give me a proposal. He said that since 18 is such a milestone, he and my mom wanted to do something extra special for my gift. He told me I have two options: I can either get $100 dollars to spend on whatever I want . . . or, if I had something in mind for starting a career, he would spend as high as $800.

Obviously I wanted to take the latter. But I wasn’t sure what to do. Film wasn’t panning out. My mom and dad at the time tried to pressure me into app development and computer coding because they seemed like safe ventures, but I couldn’t entertain something like that. Whatever it is I chose, it had to allow me to tell the stories that I wanted to tell.

Then, it hit me. I suddenly remembered hearing about this animation program called “Toon Boom” back in high school comm tech. So I thought “why don’t I do animation?”. After all, I could already draw. Plus, with animation you don’t have ANY of the limitations of live action. You can create anything you can imagine with animation and you can make everything yourself from the comfort of your room. I knew it was going to be a time consuming thing, but after a bit of soul searching I knew this is what I wanted for myself. So I told my dad about it and he managed to find a student copy of toon boom animate for cheap on Ebay (back when it didn’t go by Harmony). So I got that for my birthday and got to work. I still have my very first cartoon here:

youtube

Oh yeah, it’s awful. I had a VERY rudimentary understanding of how animation worked. I drew everything haphazardly with my mouse. I didn’t know how to use motion tweens all that well so in some places I just copy pasted assets and rotated the drawings slightly. I stole copyrighted music (which miraculously I haven’t been caught for yet). I recorded the dialogue on my phone. Worst of all, I didn’t even know how to properly compress my video. Believe it or not, this took me a month and a half to make.

But you know what? Everyone I knew loved it. My feed blew up and everyone made a point to tell me how funny they thought it was. I remember my dad saying “toon boom seems like a good investment!” Needless to say, the positive reinforcement was very encouraging.

I’m hoping the takeaway here is two things:

1. Knowing what you want in life is a deep, soul searching process, but once you find it, committing to it isn’t all that hard, even if it’s tedious as hell.

2. The best way to get started in anything is to just, well . . . get started. Make something. ANYTHING. even if it’s not that great. For as poorly as this cartoon has aged, it resulted in me getting my very first commission from my brother where he asked me to make a music video for his band. It also resulted in me getting a drawing tablet for Christmas later that year. Even bad content is better than having nothing in your repertoire at all. Try getting your ideas out no matter what.

This boost in confidence eventually resulted in me going for making long form content. I wrote, animated, edited, voice acted and directed TWO episodes of a show featuring the character you see in my very first cartoon. The first episode took me half a year to create and the second took me a WHOLE YEAR. But you know what? I was showing clear signs of improving all the way.

Here are the episodes:

youtube

Part 2: Making connections

So at this point, my motivation to break my way into the arts was in full throttle. I was SURE that animation is what I wanted to do in life. Making little shorts was cool and all, but I still needed to learn how to get professional attention. So there’s a number of things I did:

For starters, I needed to know what employers were looking for when I apply for a job. I remember way back, around the time i was halfway through making episode 2 of the Peacock, I was talking to a friend of my brother’s at his birthday party. I told him I wanted to pursue animation professionally (I believe this was after we were talking about the music video I made for my brother) and he said that he knew a guy in Vancouver who was doing 3D animation. I asked for his name and then later that night looked him up on Facebook. Once I was sure I was talking to the right guy, I wrote him a lengthy message about how much breaking into animation would mean to me. He told me that he was visiting my home town for a little while anyway and he generously donated his time to answer my questions about the industry over coffee. He told me all about demo reels and how I would need to structure it and what kind of knowledge that studios were looking for and all that type of stuff. I was also recommended to talk to another professional in my home town and she told me to get started on a portfolio website. So I took everything they were telling me and started applying it.

my niece told me about this organization in my hometown that she found out about through the grapevine. This place called the “Quickdraw Animation Society”. It was this organization dedicated to helping local artists find their voice and gain the skills necessary to make their own animated films. I thought this was perfect!! College was sort of off the table for me since my dad highly encouraged getting an education at this trade school and he told me he wouldn’t pay for an education that didn’t guarantee a job at the end (and looking back knowing the kind of debt i could have fallen into, I kind of side with him on that one). But Quickdraw was offering animation courses for cheap! Even i could afford it on my part time retail salary! So I took Quickdraw’s classes and used them as a vehicle to start making even more of my own projects.

Here’s just one of several short animations I made while studying under Quickdraw:

youtube

But my involvement with Quickdraw didn’t stop there. I made a point to volunteer for them in their move and their fundraising efforts and their little animation showcases. I made a point to REALLY get involved with their community. That ended up being arguably the most instrumental decision in my career. After a while I got done making my very first Demo Reel. I was ready to start officially applying for jobs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx5OHGfYz-4

I know this reel doesn’t seem like much, but believe it or not, with the help of the Quickdraw Animation Society, this reel ended up getting me my first two major animation gigs.

The takeaway here is: get involved with a community. Reach out to people. Get yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to ask professionals questions and accept that a lot of this is going to involve relying on the kindness of strangers. Nobody gets anywhere without somebody helping them.

Part 3: Thomas the Freelancer

After I completed my very first demo reel, as fate would have it Quickdraw began emailing me among others about new job opportunities popping up. The first time they informed me of a job post, it was somebody looking for an artist to create animated backgrounds for a stage play performance of “Curious George”. I was among the very first to send my application and this was the very first time I used my demo reel to try and land a job. The next day, their recruiter contacted me on the phone and started with “thank you for including a demo reel instead of putting the illness on me to track down your work like other applicants”. See how important a demo reel is? I ended up creating every background for every scene of that play, which was projected onto the screen behind the performers as they did their thing.

After that, Quickdraw informed me of ANOTHER job post. This time it was a children’s book author in Edmonton looking for an animator to help her win an animated film pitch contest. The winners of this contest would get a grant of $10,000 to create their animated short which would then be featured on Telus’ Storyhive platform. I sent her my demo reel and she brought me on to help put together the assets we needed to make the cut. And guess what? We were among the few who were selected to earn the $10,000. This resulted in me flying for the VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE to Vancouver, where we would attend a workshop detailing the conditions of the contest. I also happened to meet even more animation friends on the plane (they were sitting right across from me and were other winners of the Storyhive competition).

In the following months I would dedicate almost ALL my free time to this short film. I even quit my part time job so i could commit to it full time (a decision my dad was thrilled about, I’m sure). I did all the storyboarding, background design, character design and animation BY MYSELF. If anything in the development cycle was visual related, I was the guy that did it, taking notes from my directors all along the way. In hindsight, I definitely should have asked for more help since the final product has a few flaws, but this is still a milestone achievement in my career.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmTuwIeEoqA

At this point, I had somewhat made a name for myself. I had credentials. I had recommendations from clients. Gerry Mouse would go on to be featured in multiple film festivals: My film festival debut in fact. As you can imagine, my ego was at an all time high. After the film released I updated my demo reel again and felt like I was ready to officially start applying for full time studio work in the industry.

As I would come to find . . . it wouldn’t be that easy.

Part 4: The Dry Spell

Gerry Mouse was the last big success of mine for quite some time. What followed was an entire year of doing ‘freelance work’ . . . .which is a polite way of saying I was mostly unemployed with only a few small gigs inbetween. I was relentlessly applying for studios all over Canada, hoping SOMEBODY would give me the time of day. In some places, a few studios even offered me the chance to do a test . . . but due to circumstances that I’m honestly embarrassed about in retrospect, I either failed them or couldn’t complete them at all. My dad eventually started pressuring me to get any kind of employment I could get my hands on, but even trying to find work in low requirement fields was proving to be fruitless. I was getting depressed, which was compounded on by the fact that I had gone through a hard break up around that time as well. it wasn’t ALL bad though. Around that time I made another short film called “A Lovely Stroll”, which would later be featured in both the Florida Animation Festival AND the Open World Animation Festival (which is kind of like my debut as a writer and director, not just the crews animation lead).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afN2v3pBiqQ

It was also around this time where I got a month long remote gig from a studio in Toronto that was . . . honestly? Best paying gig I ever got to this day. It’s too bad that never amounted to anything bigger. I also started doing a wee bit of animation for Dawgtown too, but that eventually ran dry due to production complications. The bulk of that time was just spent by me being depressed and uncertain about the future, earning what ever money I could with small commissions here and there.

Then, within my endless pushing of applications hoping for any studio in all of Canada to notice me, I happened to send an application to Copernicus Studios in Halifax, Nova Scotia. The human resources department responded to my application saying that they weren’t hiring at the time, but they were gearing up to recruit for something that summer and may contact me again with the opportunity to do a test months down the line.

And that’s exactly what they did.

When I received the animation test from Copernicus, I was more determined than ever. I was going to dedicate as much time as I possibly could to making this test look the best it could be. I remember spending VERY late nights being very paranoid about every little detail and frantically looking up whatever I didn’t know about Toon Boom at the time. After I submitted my test, I was counting down the days for their response.

They got back to me in a reasonable amount of time and asked if I would be interested in a video interview. I was freaking out and wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure I could impress. I cleaned up as well as I could and made sure to answer all their questions honestly and concisely.

And then . . . they officially offered me a role on the production. You can’t imagine the rush of joy that went through me when I first read that email. After years of grinding and twiddling my thumbs I finally broke my glass ceiling. The idea of a random kid from Alberta breaking into a niche industry like that with no college education was unheard of. They told me in the video interview that the contract was for a Netflix animated adaptation of a classic adult Canadian sitcom. At the time I thought it was going to be Corner Gas. It turned out to be Trailer Park Boys. Once we got the news, I celebrated with all my family and friends and my dad and I planned my move to Halifax; a city on the complete opposite side of the country.

This next bit has nothing to do with the animation stuff, I just think it’s an interesting tidbit to share:

At first, my dad and I were struggling to find a place for me to live in the city. The problem was that my new contract wanted me to start in late May, but every lease of every apartment naturally wants you to start living there the first of the month. But, the biggest stroke of luck in the universe would happen to me. My dad happened to call one apartment’s office and explained to them what my situation was and they said

“funny you should mention that . . .I have two tenants here in my office RIGHT NOW that are looking for somebody to sublease for them and they need to be moved out by May 25th. If Tom subleases for them he can be in there before June no problem.”

WHAT. ARE. THE. CHANCES. OF. THAT??????

My apartment’s previous tenants were super nice too. for a thousand dollars they gave me their double sized bed, their microwave, their working desk, their couch, their vacuum cleaner and a bunch of other things to help me get started. They also went out of their way to get me nice things like a laundry card with $20 on it, a map of Halifax, a cupboard stocked up with insta-noodles, some cheap cutlery and bowls. . . . they went super out of their way to be nice to me on my first move and I’ll never forget that.

At the time I thought a stroke of luck like that was a sign from God that I was pursuing my destiny. To this day I think that still might be true. My takeaway here is don’t give up no matter what. Even if things seem uncertain at times, perseverance and tenacity will pay off in the end.

So with that, I said goodbye to my family and friends and moved to Halifax to begin my adult life as a full time PROFESSIONAL animator. I felt like I could take on anything.

And that . . . wasn’t 100% true.

Part 5: Growing Pains

I was very excited to work on my first studio production in house and it was through this contract that I met some of my closest friends ever. I learned more about toon boom and animation in 3 months than I did in 3 years of freelancing. But it wasn’t all fun and games. In fact, a lot of it was VERY VERY stressful and I ended up making more mistakes than I care to admit. In retrospect it’s easy to forgive myself because that’s just what happens when you’re that green, especially with a journey as unorthodox as mine, but at the time I did NOT take it well at ALL. See, at this point I was 100% motivated to be the best artist I could possibly be. As far as I was concerned not much else in life mattered that much. And that made me toxic. I had a hard time emotionally with taking criticism for my work. I started getting argumentative with my friends. I overworked myself. I tried to have a sense of humor for my problems but the self deprecating jokes only made me feel worse. What followed was nearly 2 years of feeling what the industry pros call “imposter syndrome”. I had it BAD. But luckily, I get by with a little help from my friends. I started opening up about what I was going through and luckily the people around me have been very reassuring about my right to be where I am. But the feelings of inadequacy DID end up leaving a dent in my work at the time and by the time Copernicus was recruiting for another toon boom show, I was not one of the few selected. But there WAS an alternative. They had just opened up some positions for their flash show (which was Care Bears: Unlock the Magic). They gave me the opportunity to do the flash test and I accepted. At the time I didn’t know very much about Flash . . . like, at all . . . but I sat down to learn as much about it as I could in the week that I had and I had done JUST well enough on the test to get myself another contract. From then on I spent nearly a year mastering Flash. Then, I was eventually brought on to Curious George to help on shadows and revisions. Then, shortly after, Copernicus asked me if I’d be interested in doing the builds test. I said yes, learned a bunch of stuff on the fly and got that job too. That’s what I’m doing right now.

The takeaway here is more an important lesson for when you DO make it rather than your journey to that point. When you break into the industry, you’re going to be met with a LOT of challenges. this industry is highly competitive and highly demanding. It’s not enough to be a skilled artist; you also have to have the grit to be a dependable team member. Matter of fact, at a time when my skill wasn’t cutting it, my grit was what helped keep me from washing out. And also, don’t be afraid to try new things. In an industry as volatile as animation being a jack of all trades is a HUGE selling point.

My advice is stay determined and, more importantly . . .try not to let failure get to your heart. keep your head up, allow yourself to heal, and forgive your mistakes. You’re not always going to stick the landing, but that’s okay. If you stick with it, you’ll still come out of that situation with more than when you entered.

Conclusion:

So why did I share all of this? I shared it because I know a lot of young, aspiring artists out there are uncertain about their future. I know you might feel like you can’t do it because you don’t know everything or you don’t have all the right credentials or you might screw things up if you try. I want you to listen to your heart and pursue what you want anyway. If I can make it, you can too. And take pride in the story of your journey. If you succeed, even given your circumstances, your story will be valuable in a way that mine couldn’t possibly be. I know a lot of my success has to deal with inordinate luck and I will forever be grateful for that, but I will always be just as grateful that I had the fortitude for when times were at their toughest. Go out there. Make what you want to make. Do whatever you can to learn the basics even if you can’t go to college. Ask for help. Get as involved with a community as you can. Whatever you start, stick with it. Be patient. Embrace challenge. Take those leaps of faith. Finally . . . forgive yourself for the times that you fail.

To finish off this post, here is a montage representing my animation journey from 2014-2020. Best of luck, all you artists out there

https://www.facebook.com/tom.vankampen/posts/10221173577866185

#animation #2dart #2d animation #toonboom #cartoon #career advice

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nancydsmithus · 4 years

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Smashing Podcast Episode 1 With Andy Clarke: What Is Art Direction?

Drew McLellan

2019-11-05T14:30:59+02:002019-11-05T16:06:22+00:00

The new Smashing Podcast is the perfect way to take a little bit of Smashing along with you on your morning commute, when working out at the gym, or just washing the dishes. We’ll be bringing you a new interview with a Smashing expert every two weeks, directly to your podcast player of choice. You can subscribe in your favorite app to get new episodes as soon as they’re ready, or just listen using the player below.

To get things off with a bang, we’re launching the first two episodes today. Each episode will be accompanied by a post (just like this one) with a full transcription of the interview here on Smashing Magazine.

In this inaugural episode, Drew McLellan talks to designer, author, and speaker Andy Clarke about Art Direction. What is it, and how can it be applied to our web design projects? We dig into the topic and see if we can get to the bottom of things.

Show Notes

We discuss Art Direction for the Web, a new book by Andy Clarke.

Andy’s Inspired Design Decisions series of articles can be found on Smashing Magazine, and are available first with your Smashing Membership.

We found some examples of the art direction involved in the Boddingtons Cream of Manchester campaign discussed in the episode.

You can follow Andy on Twitter where he is @Malarky or via his website Stuff & Nonsense.

Transcript

Drew: He’s a well known designer, public speaker and author of numerous influential web design articles and books and has recently released his new book, Art Direction for the Web, with Smashing Magazine. Along with his wife, Sue, he founded and runs a web design studio, Stuff and Nonsense, in North Wales where he consults with companies big and small all around the world. You may know of his passion for gorillas but did you know that as a school child he was Junior National Bassoon Champion for three years in a row. My Smashing friends, it’s Andy Clarke. Andy, how are you today?

Andy Clarke: Eee, I’m smashing, lad.

Drew: So, as I mentioned your new book, Art Direction for the Web, is now available but obviously this isn’t your first book. Hard Boiled Web Design, that I’m sure people will know, and way back in the day, Transcending CSS. When did the idea for this particular book come about?

Andy Clarke: This was an interesting one because, like you say, this is number four in terms of books. Sue had always said that she’d hunt down and kill anybody that asked me to write another one because I am such a bastard when I’m writing books. I’m just not a nice person to be around and so I kind of didn’t ever want to do another, kind of, major book after Hard Boiled. So my original plan was actually to write three little, we called them shots in the whole, kind of Hard Boiled theme. Three kind of little 80 to 100 page, little shots. In the kind of the style of, or the length of, A Book Apart type length. Art Direction was going to be the first one and when I started to get into it which was way back at the beginning of, I think it the beginning of 2018 when I started it.

Andy Clarke: The more and more I kind of got into it, the more I realized that this, there was no way this was going to be a short book. All the things I wanted to talk about were just never going to fit. So I kind of threw the whole three shots idea out of the window and we just concentrated on doing this one. So I suppose the idea for this one came actually quite a few years ago even before a lot of the stuff that I talk about in the book in terms of what we can do with design and what we can do with CSS and all that kind of stuff was even a possibility. But it’s been a long time coming this one, I think it’s the kind of spiritual successor to some of the other stuff that I’ve done in the past. That sounds a bit grandiose, doesn’t it?

Drew: No, not at all. I mean, like many people, I’ve come into this field of building stuff for the web without any real formal background in, well, I’m a developer. I don’t really have a formal background in programming. I’ve just sort of picked it up as I go along and I certainly don’t have a formal background in anything to do with design. I’m not really familiar with the terminology and the concepts and the, a formal training would instill, particularly in design. So for people like me, when we talk about art direction, what exactly is art direction?

Andy Clarke: That’s an almost impossible question to answer because it means so many kind of different things at different levels. But I’m going to give an example. Do you remember back in, I mean we’re talking 15-odd years ago now but do you remember the adverts? In fact, for the show notes I’ll send you some links. But do you remember, there was an ad campaign called “The Cream of Manchester” for Boddingtons Beer. One of the things that they did, there was some really funny TV commercials but one of the things that they did incredibly successfully was a whole series of graphics which went on posters and various other things which were a glass of Boddingtons beer with the incredibly creamy head, which was the most important part of Boddingtons Beer and they shaped the head into all kinds of different things. So it looked like an ice cream and it looked like a quiff and it looked like all kinds of stuff. And what that did was it told the story of what was important about Boddingtons Beer through the medium of design. So it didn’t necessarily just say Boddingtons has a very creamy head. What it did was it showed you that through the visuals but then with the, in combination with the words, you got this very, very clever idea about what Boddingtons Beer was all about. And that, in one level, is art direction.

Andy Clarke: Let me give you another example. I can’t remember which magazine it was, now it might have been Rolling Stone. I can’t remember exactly which magazine cover it was now but a couple of years ago there was a very famous magazine cover and it was a picture of Donald Trump and they’d taken the barcode which normally sits in the bottom left or bottom right hand corner of the cover of the magazine and they’d put it on his top lip and made him look like Hitler. That’s art direction. That’s using design to convey a message to tell a story, to communicate something to an audience but through design.

Andy Clarke: And when we think about applying those things to the web, it is exactly the same kind of purpose but what we’re doing is we’re using all of those aspects of design. We’re using a layout. We’re using typography. We’re using color choices. We’re using all of these kind of design ingredients to do whatever it is that we’re trying to do online. So we might be telling a story of…a story through an editorial magazine or a news story or we might be telling a story about why you should buy my brand of power drill rather than somebody else’s brand of power drill. And it extends even into user experience because we’re really thinking about what is somebody feeling at this point? How do we communicate with them? How do we try and cheer them up, try and cool down. Do we want to be kind of quirky and delightful or do we want to be sort of more serious and conservative. And all of those aspects of evoking an emotional response in somebody is art direction.

Drew: Like accessibility, we often say that that really is the responsibility of everyone in the team but then in practice there tends to be an accessibility expert who really knows their stuff and can sort of help everyone review their work and push things forward. Is it the same with art direction? Is it something that everybody in a team should be looking at? Or is it something you hire in a big bright art director like yourself to come in and tell everyone what they should be doing?

Andy Clarke: No, it is exactly the sort of thing that everybody should be paying attention to. Every decision that we make in terms of design is an opportunity to tell a story. And that can be a big story or it can be a tiny story. And even things, for example, the style and the wording of microcopy can help to tell the story. Now, what we really need is not just everybody kind of paying attention to what that message is but we also need to know what the message is to begin with.

Andy Clarke: And one of the things that I think has been lacking over the last however many years when we’ve been kind of evolving the web as a medium is we’ve kind of moved away from this idea of the web as either a kind of creative medium or as a great medium for storytelling. And that’s the kind of thing if you go to an ad agency, then you’re not going to walk far through the door before you fall over an art director. But that’s not something that you generally find, it’s not a job title that tends to happen at digital agencies. It’s just, you’ll find UX people and project managers and developers and all manner of different, in parentheses, product designers. But the overall thinking about what message are we trying to convey, how do we implement that through design? But then there’s that kind of, what you would think of as creative direction but it is slightly different. Where somebody is basically just checking that everything is on brand, is on message, is part of telling that story.

Drew: As a developer, if I want to start getting involved in the art direction of my projects, where on earth do I start? Is this something that I can learn or do you have to be born this way?

Andy Clarke: I can’t think about the way you were born. You’ve landed on your head. No, it is something that can be taught and it is something which takes practice. So you don’t need to have gone to art school or studied advertising or whatever. I never did. I didn’t even do a graphic design degree back in the ‘80s. I was a failed painter. But it’s the kind of thing where, I think it’s a change of kind of, mindset a little bit. In thinking about, it’s not just about the practical aspects of designing a website but it’s also the thinking about, “Well, what are we trying to do?”

Andy Clarke: So let me give you an example, right. So Smashing Magazine, I did some early conceptual work with them for the redesign that we see right now. And the way that we did that was to basically just host a bunch of workshops where we all got together and we sat around a big table for a week and we did this kind of three or four times where really what we were trying to do was to get to the bottom of what the Smashing message was. And how Smashing wanted to be perceived and that was basically a great big roundtable exercise which was basically designed to just get the Smashing guys, Vitaly and Markus and others, thinking about what the real purpose of Smashing was and how they were going use design to communicate the unique kind of personality and attributes of Smashing.

Andy Clarke: And to help that along, we did a load of, kind of early rough design stuff. And then from what they learnt, they then turned to Dan Mall and said, “Right, we’ve got these words, we’ve got these, call them design principles if you like, that we want to then pull out through the design. We want to be bright and bold. We want the experience turned up to eleven. We want to be quirky” and all these kind of words that had come out of our early design discussions. And then he would then produce designs that sort of fitted with that brief.

Andy Clarke: And the interesting thing about that if we relate this back to your question where you’re saying “Where do I get involved?”, it’s, is, if we were kicking off a project for Notist, for example. The very obvious thing is that it does some things. It hosts your slide decks. It adds your speaker profile or whatever but those are just, they’re the things that it does. But your aspirations for that product are much, much more than just the bunch of practical things that it does. So from a brand and from an art direction point of view, yes, you want to be designing a product which is streamlined and simple to use and reliable and all of the stuff that it, kind of goes with it. But there’s a bigger picture and I would be speaking to you about what that purpose really is. Is it to inspire other speakers to get onstage? Is it to share information more widely? Is it to make talks that happen at remote conferences much, much more visible to people wherever they are in the world. There’s obviously a bigger thing going on in here.

Andy Clarke: And then once we’ve kind of understood what those real, kind of, what our real purpose was, then we can think about how do we convey that message through the design. And that’s where a designer would come in with a creative brief and then we would look at, well, what typography style is going to convey that message? What kind of layout? What kind of color scheme? What kind of graphics are going to really tell that story because you can easily just say the world’s most popular slide deck sharing site as, what’s that nasty one? Not Speaker Deck, the other one. SlideShare. Dreadful, absolutely dreadful. What we would look to do is something like Notist if we consider an art direction point of view is to consider, how do you want people to feel when you’re using the product and how do you want them to feel when they’re making the decision to choose your product over somebody else’s. And that’s essentially what it boils down to.

Drew: So it’s very much about how the brand, in a sense, is embodied in every little detail and every part of the design, both the sort of visual design and the functional design. Would that be accurate to say?

Andy Clarke: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, and that should be the case with anything that we’re making. It’s why I get so disappointed when I see stuff which is not a gajillion miles away from framework default in terms of layout or button styles or type hierarchy or whatever it happens to be, all of these kind of design things. Because, to me that’s like completely missing the point of the design. Yeah, it might be a functional thing to use but does that make it nice?

Drew: So obviously modern websites are mostly spat out of a CMS into identical templates. So if kind of one of the jobs of art direction is to invoke this sort of emotional response to something on a page, can that be done through spitting out content into templates or can it be done by machine?

Andy Clarke: Well, if I had the solution to that problem, I’d be a very rich man because it is actually the problem that a massive amount of the web is struggling with. Whether it would be news outlets or magazine outlets or editorial or whatever. And it’s a question which comes up again and again and again. And actually the people that have really solved this problem best of all that I took to my knowledge it ProPublica who I talk quite a lot about in the book. And our old friend Rob Weychert basically designed the CMS implementation for ProPublica. And the way that they did it was that they said, “Right, okay, these are our foundations style, this is what the ProPublica website looks like and an article on that website looks like if I do nothing. This is what it is.” But obviously they want to be able to customize that in all kind of different ways whether it would be type or layout or color theme or anything else. What they did was very simply they just had a field in the CMS that they could inject custom CSS. And because they understood the cascade and they understood how CSS builds they would only then be able to overwrite certain things.

Andy Clarke: Now, not everybody’s going to want to go to the extent of custom designing articles in the way that ProPublica do. And they don’t art direct or over design everything. It is only these really kind of special pieces that they tend to do a really great art direction job on. But there are ways in which we can do this. One of the great, we always talk about separation of, or we used to talk about, it used to be the thing where we would separate content and structure and style and behavior. Now it seems like everybody piles everything into JavaScript but moving swiftly on. One of the things that you can do, is you can separate out the CSS logic. And as long as you don’t bake in the style of the page into the HTML, as long as you keep things flexible, you can then do an enormous amount, particularly when we’ve got things like CSS grid, flex box, which are kind of, almost like content independent in a way, and CSS variables.

Andy Clarke: So I’m working on site with a French football magazine which will hopefully be finished by the time this podcast goes out and that’s a question that we’re trying to solve right now. So what I’ve done over the last couple of weeks is I’ve designed probably about half a dozen different layout templates. Now, some pages are fixed. They’re never going to change, they’re never going to be wildly different. If you think about something like a league table or a list of results from a football Saturday then you’re not going to do an enormous amount with it. But when it comes to things like player profiles and team profiles and some of the more, kind of, involved content, what I’ve done is I’ve designed about half a dozen different layout combinations. All based on exactly the same CSS. And what I’m doing is I’m then extracting out certain things that, for want of a better word I’m calling themes. Just in terms of right, in this design, Design A, and I give them all names. I give, I’ve given the theme, I’ve named them after French football players. So if you want to, if you look at the Cantona design or Cantona theme, what do the headlines look like? What do the block quotes look like? What do the table headers look like? What do the buttons look like? There’s a specific style that goes into that theme which is independent of the layouts.

Andy Clarke: And the other thing which is independent of that theme is the six different color schemes that I’ve come up with. So basically by the end of the project, you’ll have a color layer, a theme layer and a layout layer that they are able then to kind of pick and choose. And that can be automated, it can be turned into toggle switches in the CMS or whatever it might happen to be. So there are ways of doing that.

Andy Clarke: Now that’s not a particularly kind of appropriate thing for, in terms of pure art direction but the same mechanics can then be used if we want to be saying right, “Well, we do want to customize this so let’s introduce these new fields.”

Drew: One of the examples in the book, quite early on of a, sort of art directed site is the UK government’s gov.uk site, which is excellent as a user of it. It’s a site I really enjoy using it but it’s not one that I would immediately think of as being art directed, in inverted commas. It’s not very visually rich. It’s quite sparse and not sparse in a minimalist way but sparse in a utilitarian way. Art direction doesn’t need to be flashy, I’m taking from that?

Andy Clarke: Well, I have spent years joking about gov.uk and I’ve always thought of gov.uk as being the website that design forgot. I’ve often said gov.uk, not known for its creative flair. And it was interesting, when I was doing a series of podcast interviews for the book, I was talking to Mark Porter, who used to be creative director at the Guardian. You can’t read a book about editorial design without Mark cropping up at some point. In fact, he’d be a great person for you to speak to on this podcast at some point to get a different perspective. And I was saying to Mark in our conversation, “Look, I can remember great art directed ad campaigns on TV, in magazines. We’ve talked about art direction in newspapers and print publications, etcetera, give me an example of what you think is great art direction on the web.” And I was absolutely stunned when Mark said, “Gov.uk.”

Andy Clarke: And it took a while to sink in but actually he was absolutely right because if art direction is about making people feel in a certain way then gov.uk does its job incredibly well. It doesn’t need to be flashy. It doesn’t need to be overly designed. It doesn’t need to push boundaries or do any of these things that you might associate with newfangled CSS grid webby stuff because it does what it does and it’s, the design is absolutely appropriate to, not only to the audience and what they want to do but also how gov.uk want people to feel when they’ve left the site. When you’ve gone on there and paid your car tax or looked up when your bin collection’s going to be or whether it’s safe to travel to Cameroon or…I leave that site reassured that I’ve been given the information that I was looking for in a thorough and professional way. I don’t think to myself, “Oh, is that site trustworthy?” And not just because its gov.uk but because the whole experience has just been designed to leave no unanswered questions in my brain.

Drew: Yes, it’s so, sort of simple. It gives you real confidence in the information you’ve found is correct or the process that you followed, there’s a very clear way through it so you feel like, “Yes, I’ve completed that successfully because it was unambiguous.”

Andy Clarke: Now, would I design certain things differently? You can bet your bottom dollar I would but would I want to think about improving typography? Yes. Would I want to get more granular in terms of typographic design so that we can improve the way that numerals look or dates look or tables of data look or whatever? Yes, absolutely there’s some things that I would look at there and say, “I want to improve the design of that aspect of gov.uk.” But in terms of the art direction, no, everything that they, that you see whether it’s intention or not in terms of, I don’t know whether there is an art director at gov.uk, but everything that you see just contributes to how people feel at the end of the experience and that’s good art direction.

Drew: The book itself is really beautiful. I’d seen the ebook version of it early on which is absolutely terrific and I recommend that. But then I had the pleasure of picking up an actual printed version and I really recommend the printed version even more. It’s, every sort of spread is as you’d expect, sort of custom designed and it’s just jampacked with loads of inspirational examples. And it’s so heavily illustrated, I mean there’s hardly a double page spread that’s all text. It’s all illustrated with stuff. It’s really great. To be honest, it’s not the sort of book, not knowing anything about art direction before our conversation, and before looking at, actually looking at the book. It’s something I wouldn’t have picked up thinking it was for me but once I started looking through it, I thought, “Yeah, this is really good.” Obviously, you’ve designed it, you’ve designed every spread by hand. What was that process like?

Andy Clarke: It was a lot of work. I mean, first of all, I just want to say an enormous thank you to my son, Alex, who actually typeset that entire book from start to finish. What we wanted to do when we set out to produce the book was to show off some inspiring stuff but we also wanted it to be incredibly relevant to people at various different stages or different areas or whatever. And Sue would be quite, sort of brutal with me and say, “Don’t forget to explain it this way. If somebody’s using Squarespace or Shopify or Bootstrap Grid or whatever, then you need to talk to those people as well.” So what I did was, I actually spent about three months designing a whole ton of different examples. And me being me, I had to kind of, everything had to be perfect. There had to be a theme so I kind of came up with this hard boiled based London gangster theme for an app and a website that kind of goes with it. And then everything kind of just spread on from there. What was interesting in terms of the actual design of all those examples was what you learn how to design in one part of the book you then learn how to build in another part of the book. So there is this kind of balance to it.

Andy Clarke: But then, so basically what would happen is, was that I came up with about half a dozen different layout scamps for the main body of the book. I was much, much more detailed on the, sort of the examples I didn’t design, some of the other examples from elsewhere on the web. But the general body of the book, I just did half a dozen, kind of just very simple box layout sketches. Alex would then interpret that and chapter by chapter we would then go through it. So literally every single page has been tweaked. And I haven’t done, I’ve never done a book that’s got, had that much attention to detail.

Drew: Yeah, it really shows and the end result is fantastic and I’ve been learning a lot from it. So something I always like to ask people. I’ve been learning about art direction, what have you been learning about lately? Is there anything in particular in your work and your projects that you’ve been learning and swatting up on?

Andy Clarke: Yeah. I’ve been really trying to get to grips with more advanced grid stuff. That’s something which I’ve been really trying to sort of push the boundaries of. And along with this kind of, because I’ve been experimenting with, “Here’s a great, here’s a quirky layout. How would we build that?” And along the way comes things like SVGs and making SVGs responsive and I actually learnt today that you can’t use the picture element with inline SVG. You have to use an IMG element if you want to swap one picture for another or one source for another in HTML. So my main, I’ve actually been going back to really just learn a hell of a lot more about code. I think that quite, you go through phases where there’s a huge amount to learn or it seems that way and there’s something new that you want to get to grips with. And then things kind of plateau out and you churn through the same stuff or you use the same patterns or the same kind of methodology for awhile and then there’s another spike. And I’m kind of in one of those spikes at the moment.

Drew: Obviously the book is available now. You’ve also been writing a series of articles for Smashing Magazine around some of the same sort of ideas, picking out some bits and bobs which we’ll link to in the show notes. But you’re also doing a webinar series, is that right?

Andy Clarke: Yeah, well, the articles in the webinar is all the same stuff so I called it Inspired Design Decisions. And it came about because I was actually in Magma Book Shop, which is a brilliant magazine book shop in London, before Christmas. I was with our friend, Al Power, and we were kind of thumbing through magazines and I was geeking out and going, “Oh, look at this beautiful quote. That layout looks amazing. Coo, I love the way that they’ve tied this image with the color of the text and blah, blah, blah.” And Al said, “Well, I’ve never really thought a bit like that. I’ve never really thought about lessons that we can learn from editorial design or magazine design or other things. And you just talk about it in ways that just make sense. You ought to write about this stuff.” So I don’t want to write another book at the moment because well, Sue would hunt down and kill anybody that asked me to. So the idea came about was, well, why not do a series of articles over the course of the year where I would touch on a particular topic and a particular piece of inspiration.

Andy Clarke: There’s three gone out now, so far. There’ll be four, maybe five by the time this podcast goes out. Each one is the webinar content with Q&A. Everybody that is a Smashing member also gets access to a really, really nicely designed PDF version of all of the articles and all the code that goes with it. And then what we do a month later is we’ll put that article out for free on the public Smashing Magazine website. And what we’ll do sometime next May, is we’ll collect all of those twelve articles together and we’ll re-edit them and get the continuity right and that’ll be another book that comes out, probably next April, May time.

Drew: That sounds great.

Andy Clarke: It’s a lot of fun.

Drew: If you, dear listener, would like to hear more from Andy, you can follow him on Twitter where he is @Malarkey and find examples of his work and hire him via his website, stuffandnonsense.co.uk. Art Direction for the Web is available now through Smashing at smashingmagazine.com/books and I commend it to you. Andy, do you have any parting words?

Andy Clarke: (Beep) to Brexit.

(dm, ra, il)

0 notes

jam2289 · 5 years

Text

Leading a Writing Group - Session 3

A writing prompt can be anything, since anything can be in a story. Truly, everything has a story, since life is a story. But, there is a little bit of an art in selecting writing prompts. This last week I went with "door." That's it. It's wide open, but it's powerful. Doors are thresholds, they are mysteries, they are the point where something changes, barriers that open.

As it turns out, Lexi had already been drawing a door before I gave the prompt. Funny how that works sometimes.

I think the prompt might have been a little too open. There were too many options and the kids didn't naturally add any detail to the door. It probably would have been good to have pictures of doors that they selected, or something like that. This next session I'm probably going to go with letters, and see if anyone is up for trying a little epistolary. That's where you write the story in letters, or some other documents like that. Then, I think I might start getting wilder with the prompts for a little while. We'll see.

We talked about how doors are thresholds a little bit, and then dove into writing. Xavier and Lexi both had a bit of a tendency to get stuck on this one. Bella, on the other hand, was writing like crazy. She has improved in several aspects in just the last few sessions. She's reading her own writing better. Her spelling may be improving just slightly too. She's kind of finding her rhythm. She drew pictures to go along with this one, and I think that helps her quite a bit.

Xavier had some trouble with focusing and paying attention. I think it may be that a solid idea didn't come to him easily, and when he encountered some of that resistance his attention tended to disengage rather than engage. Something to pay attention to moving forward, and in that case it's extra important to emphasize that the valuable thing is not the result, but the effort. (See the psychological work from Carol Dweck for more on that.)

I could see that Lexi was stuck a bit and offered the suggestion to write about the writing. I like doing that, and it works great for having the blog. Other people also like that I write about writing while I'm writing, I think it's a cool way to reveal as much of the writing process as possible, and I wish some of my favorite authors did it. Another great thing to do when you're stuck writing, is to write something else. Just start a different story, change something. I'm not sure any of my suggestions helped her. She did get a decent amount down though, and she had quite a long story worked out in her head. She already writes in a way that I find odd and don't really understand, where she writes different parts that aren't in chronological order. Some authors write like that, it's a thing, it just seems crazy to me. That means that her brain already works in a bit of an odd way, which is a good thing for writing, but I lack some insight into parts of her thinking process.

Bella was enthusiastic about her story. It was a door that led to another dimension of sorts. The three pages she wrote, with pictures, was the complete chapter 1 of a book.

Lexi wrote about a door at the top of a set of stairs that a dreamer was climbing too, which is a cool scene.

Xavier wrote about the entrance to a virtual reality video game where the people enter into the game, but when they walk forward they actually walk into a real environment. He used different voices.

There are five other interesting things that happened, but I'll put those after my story.

- - - - - - -

Hannah wondered what would happen if she did it anyway.

The door was large, she wasn't even sure if she could push it. She decided to try anyway.

There were gold edges inlaid into the wood, she grabbed hold of these and leaned into the door. It didn't budge. She put her back against the door and pushed with her legs. No use.

Hannah thought about Bob, maybe he could help. Bob didn't move very much, but when he did nothing got in his way. Things don't usually stop a twelve foot tall ogre.

Hannah ran out of the house and across the yard, the tall soft grass brushing against the hem of her skirt.

The big barn door was always open, Bob liked it that way. He slept in the hay.

Hannah slowly walked over to where he was sleeping and poked him. Bob slept a lot now, ever since his injury. And, he seemed to struggle with understanding things. He would get angry sometimes, and that was dangerous, so most of the family gave him his distance. But he had always liked Hannah, and she liked him. So sometimes she would ride on his shoulders while he walked through the fields.

Bob opened his eyes and looked at Hannah without moving any other muscle. His eyes were bright sparkly green and always seemed to twinkle. He slowly began to stand and the hay started to slide off of him.

After he shook and groaned, something he did every time he woke up, Hannah reached up, grabbed his pinky finger, and led him across the yard to the house.

- - - - - - -

I wasn't really feeling it that day, but there it is.

Alright, five other interesting things.

One, Bella drew a monster on a page of my notebook. (I write in a sketch pad because I don't like lines, and she was drawing in a lined notepad. Lexi mentioned that she liked the lines because she was drawing stairs leading up to her door. (This is only lightly related, but I just watched the "Stranger Things" pilot today with my cousin Cody.))

Two, at one point Lexi was the only one paying attention so I said she got an A, and everyone else got a T. That confused them a bit. What is a T grade? It's nothing, I just made it up to throw them off and pattern interrupt them. Then I told them that the grades don't matter, which they don't. We aren't trying to get a grade for anything, we're working on developing a skill, and a soft skill at that.

Three, after we read our stories Bella asked, "Aren't you going to tell us what kind of stories they are?" I had done something similar in the other sessions, but I explained that this time they were all fairly similar in that the main feature was that they were stories about crossing thresholds.

Four, somehow we ended up talking about Hannibal before we started, Hannibal the ancient Carthage General. I explained how Hannibal means Grace of Ba'al, which was the patron god of Carthage. Ba'al is an old time word that meant Lord in one of the Semitic languages. Bella said that Ba'al was kind of an odd name and it would be easier if it was Bob. Which led us to postulating that a god named Bob would be cool, along with a General named Hannibob, which means Grace of Bob. I had those ideas in my head when I started writing, that's why the story is about Hannah and Bob.

Five, this might be the best one. After the session Lexi and I were talking about how the eagles in "The Lord of the Rings" ruin the whole story. There's an epic journey that takes a couple of books to complete, to go to this horrible place to destroy this ring. Then, to get out of that place, some eagles just fly in and pick them up. Well, why couldn't the eagles have just flown over and dropped the ring in the first place? Lexi and I came up with the solution - the eagles were fat when the story started and couldn't fly. But, they realized when the war was breaking out that they needed to be in shape and started working out. By the end of the story they could fly again. It all makes sense now. Lexi drew up some fat eagles running on treadmills. I mentioned that treadmills might not have been around, maybe the workout would be one fat eagle rolling another one around, or lifting rocks, but Lexi thought the treadmill was the best idea. And, in a humorous way, she might be right.

Last thing before I take off. The kids are too familiar with each other for the group to be as useful as it could be. I think I will seek to avoid single family groups if possible when I expand the writing program, integrating a couple might be ideal. We need a collision of ideas and perspectives that are different from what they've encountered before to stimulate the creative juices to their maximum potential.

Another good session, as they've all been.

________________________________________________

You can find more of what I'm doing at http://www.JeffreyAlexanderMartin.com

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literarilymanga · 7 years

Photo

Hi, all! It’s time for another webcomic feature! This week I interviewed Micah, creator of The Roommate from Hell! Read the full interview after the cut!

Me: Would you share a little bit about yourself as a creator?

Micah: Sure! So currently I'm a student at University of Wisconsin Stout, in a program called Entertainment Design - Comics and Sequential Art. So it's basically a comics major. I've been drawing and creating things as long as I remember, and I started taking it seriously around middle school. Put out my first webcomic in high school. Creating comics is basically my life, I spend all my free time on it.

Me: Could you give a short summary of The Roommate From Hell ?

Micah: Up 'til this point it's been about a college student named Mary who moves in with a new roommate she met online. He's really suspicious and she starts investigating. Eventually she convinces herself that he's actually a superhero. He's not a superhero, but he's not exactly normal, either. If you like stories with supernatural elements that are occasionally high action but often focus more on the characters and their interactions, and how these supernatural elements affect their lives, you will like the comic.

Me: Could you introduce the readers to your characters?

Micah: Alright. So there's Mary. She's rather high energy, I designed her to be rather relateable as she's very interested in anime, internet culture, etc. Very friendly and enthusiastic about life. Then there's Hugh, her new roommate. Short, shy, and really awkward. He is weirdly paranoid about everything and is obviously hiding some kind of secret.

Me: Who is your favorite character—and why?

Micah: So I really like Hugh, he's super fun to draw and temperament wise very similar to me. Way further out I'll be introducing a character named Samur who is probably my second favorite. He's super deadpan and plays off the other characters in funny ways.

Me: Who is your least favorite character—and why?

Micah: I'm not sure I have a least favorite, although there's a few characters that are harder to draw than the others. Or characters that are hard to write for. There's a group of characters coming in a bit later, Zane, Shatiq, Lael, and Gabe, who are relatively new and will be a bit of work to keep consistent and interesting in their dialogue. Shatiq is super fun to draw, though.

Me: Can you offer insight into how you’ve developed your story and your creative process so far?

Micah: So, many of my story ideas, including Roomie, come from random dreams I've had. So I can't speak much on the ideation process. After that I start coming up with scenes and situations that would be interesting to see these characters in. Once I have that starting point, I try to string them together. Usually over-arching themes will develop and I’ll organize a story around those messages I want to convey. My primary goal is always to be entertaining and make the readers feel for the characters.

Me: What is your favorite part of the creative process? The least favorite part?

Micah: Creating and developing characters is probably the best part. I do a lot of role playing with these characters with my friends and end up developing them far past the scope of their stories. My least favorite part of the process is stringing together plot points that I want to include but can’t figure out how to make it happen. Discovering plot holes and trying to fix them, and editing stories to try to maximize clarity for the readers, is also a difficult but necessary step.

Me: You mention on Roomie’s site that the comic is going to get spooky. What made you decide on a supernatural story?

Micah: It was the subject matter of the dream. It's not actually going to be that spooky, just, the subject is something generally considered part of the horror genre.

Me: How have readers reacted to your characters and story thus far? Are there any challenges that you’ve had to overcome when working on Roomie?

Micah: So I haven't gotten a ton of feedback. Site stats say my site isn't entirely dead, but people don't seem to like to comment a lot. People have enjoyed it, though, especially my friends who know the larger plot and role play with me. There's this one guy who comments a lot who has actually been around since my older webcomic, Operation Reboot. Generally their comments are constructive criticism, which some people might find disheartening, but I think they enjoy the comic and I appreciate the opportunity to improve my work.

Me: What do you want readers to take away from your story?

Micah: Really I just want my readers to be entertained and have something to look forward to. I try to write interesting diverse characters, so if they can identify with them, especially if the characters are of an underrepresented group, then that's a bonus.

Me: Who is your “intended” audience?

Micah: Probably [readers in their] late teens to late twenties. The nerdier crowd, and members of the LGBTQ+ community, mostly.

Me: Do you plan to pursue other mediums for your story ?

Micah: I'd like to print it eventually? And actually I'm planning to expand the universe out into a different website I'm designing. It'll be fictional and about the supernatural element of the story, but made out as if it were real. It will feel like the website of a hospital or charity sort of thing. It's a bit hard to explain. I'm hoping to figure out a plot for it eventually and make into an ARG sort of thing? It won't launch for a year or two so it's up in the air.

Me: What drew you to the webcomic genre? What made you say, “This is how I want to share my story?”

Micah: I'm not really sure. I've been doing this for years and I kind of forgot why I decided webcomics were best. Probably because it’s free and accessible to people? And rather uncomplicated on my end, just have to pay for hosting and learn WordPress.

Me: Do you have any advice you want to share with other artists and writers?

Micah: Write for yourself. That's probably my best tip. If you write for yourself, motivation will be easier to find. And if you like your story, it's very likely other people will too. Even if it's a story appealing to one in a million, there's 7 billion people on the planet so that's still a ton of people.

Micah: Also, prioritize life drawing. Even if it's just SenshiStock. Your characters will improve immediately.

Me: What are your tools of the trade? Any special software?

Micah: I use a monoprice tablet and GIMP. It can bug out sometimes but I make it work. Roomie is inked on paper and colored on computer but I also do full digital and full traditional work on occasion. I am poor and cheap.

Me: When does Roomie update?

Micah: Monday/Wednesday/Friday. Soon there will be a side comic, exclusive to Patreon and voting rewards on TopWebcomics, which updates on T/Th/S/Su. So there will be something every day :) The side comic will be free and archives for the current issue free, but previous issues will be avaliable as Patreon rewards.

You can read The Roommate from Hell on its main site and keep an eye out for future updates on mirror comic sites. Roomie takes a hiatus every May and December, so if you are interested in sending in a guest comic, Micah will be posting more details on their site in April.

Be sure to check out last week’s interview with webcomic artist J.M. Henry.

If you want me to interview you about your webcomic or you just want to share some input on the creative process, comment on this post, send a note, or submit an ask.

Until next time, happy Saturday!

(This post was adapted from a Twitter interview.)

#Micah #enchantedpencil #roomie #the roommate from hell #patreon #webcomic feature #interview #senshistock

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phillymakerfaire · 5 years

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https://ift.tt/2NZuvIC

Break Through:

A NextFab Made Series

Break Through is a series about making. Making discoveries, making a difference in the community and making the world a better place. It’s the stories of startups and inventors who are developing products that have social value by solving real world problems. It’s about artisans and entrepreneurs who have broken through the mold to live their best lives.

Episode 1: Mark Brandon, Destined Goods

In our inaugural episode we speak with Mark Brandon, founder of Destined Goods, a custom drink-ware company based in Philadelphia, PA. Mark is a NextFab member that runs his business completely from a private project space on site.

Mark Brandon: I’ve been a member at NextFab since November 2013. However, I just started this venture, just about the beginning of 2018. I had been working on some prior projects. One of them was a party game, called Slushin’ Roulette. I did a Kickstarter and then ended up putting that on the bookshelf, and reorienting my time. So with Destined Goods, what I make and design and produce – home goods, specifically drink-ware; everything I design and make is here out of NextFab. The two components I primarily work in, right now are ceramics. So I do all this slip casting next door in my studio, which is also part of NextFab. It’s a warehouse space that they run out. I also do leather work, as well, so I have some equipment for that that I do out in my space as well as utilizing the laser engravers.

Ron Bauman: What did you do before you started here at NextFab and making things?

Mark Brandon: So I’m a mechanical engineer. I went to Drexel University. Graduated in 2013 with my mechanical engineering degree. All three co-ops as well as four, five years after graduation I worked in the petroleum industry. So I was a retail engineer for Sunoco, and then actually at the beginning of 2017 they did some restructuring of the organization and so,

Ron Bauman: As corporations want to do….

Mark Brandon: Yeah, correct. Exactly. So there were some re-locations. So some of the regional departments end up getting dispatched, including the engineering department that I was part of. So I was ready to get another job. I was networking and working with different vendors and clients that would get me back in the industry basically, just so we can keep that steady income and whatnot. In the meantime, I was already moonlighting, I guess you could say working on this at night, between here on the engineering design part of the products, as well as at the Clay Studio on 2nd and Race and Old City so I could get that straight weeks experience.

Mark Brandon: So as it was getting to the point where they were letting people know, “Hey, you’re laid off, thank you for your time basically.” My wife said, “Hey, instead of getting another job, you’ve wanted to have your own company since the end of college basically. But why don’t you take this as a sign to go head first into it and do it full time. We’re at a good position in our relationship where we’re already married. You just have rent. We don’t have kids. We have the financial flexibility to take this risk.” So it’s not the sort of thing I would have volunteered us as a couple to do, but having her support really, just knowing that she was confident enough in my ability to do it, made me confident in myself to try it out. So that’s how I started doing it full time.

Mark Brandon: So my last full day at Sunoco was my first full day at Destined Goods.

Ron Bauman: So you’re just done with Sunoco and on to Destined Goods? How did you come up with a name for Destined Goods? Was it destiny?

Mark Brandon: Yeah, that’s exactly it. So I really wanted to come up with something that conveyed the message that I wanted behind the whole thing, which is interacting with your favorite people, your friends and your family. So I was thinking things along the lines of heirloom and legacy. And then it was a shower moment. We were talking about how the whole layoff process and the way I got into this full time. I was kind of destined, to get something to push me into entrepreneurship full time. So Destined Goods just ended up making sense.

Ron Bauman: Do you feel like you always had an entrepreneurial sort of bone, like bug, or?

Mark Brandon: So I think the maker bug was always an innate partner with me for sure. I was always making stuff. I guess to use the cliché, I was that lego kid. I was always doing designs and whatnot as well with different product ideas and character ideas. But as I got into college, I started getting that entrepreneurship bug as shark tank was getting popular. I’m a huge fan of the profit now as well.

Mark Brandon: So as I saw the opportunity and commercialization, and as I was realizing with my corporate job that I’m not the biggest fan of reporting to bosses. I like to be able to make the shots. Not that I can’t work in a team situation. But when I can’t agree with, the decisions coming from the top, it’s difficult to go nose to the grindstone on something. So being able to get that opportunity really drew me into the entrepreneurship field.

Ron Bauman: To sort of be your own boss, sort of that characteristic is very and probably the most common trait of entrepreneurs.

Mark Brandon: Absolutely. At the same time I feel like my head’s always spinning with different marketing ideas and different creative partnerships that are not only for my own business, but for other companies just from hearing a few minutes of what they do. And so having the design and the marketing aspects, it just made sense to jump into entrepreneurship.

Ron Bauman: Are you from the area?

Mark Brandon: Greater Philadelphia area. I say South Jersey and then people try to correct me, even though there’s really only North and South Jersey ’cause it’s not the beach South Jersey, it’s Autobahn. So, I was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but we moved to South Jersey, my parents and I when I was less than one year old. And then I grew up the rest of my life and Autobahn, New Jersey, which is right over the Walt Whitman Bridge. So, 15 minutes away. Both, I have two younger brothers, they grew up in Autobahn as well. My parents still live there. Both my parents went to Drexel for chemical engineering.

Mark Brandon: So we’ve got that engineering bug in our genes. So that’s where they met. So they say that we had a choice to go somewhere else, but we all ended up going to Drexel. ‘Cause it just makes sense. It’s a good level-headed university. If you go, you get a really good batch of people that are well rounded, which fit well with my friend group from high school. So, I felt comfortable there. And then the co-op opportunities are just fantastic as well.

Ron Bauman: Yeah, the Co-op is great there. So did you do the two-year four-year internship?

Mark Brandon: I did the five year program with three, six month internships. So all three of those I did at Sunoco in their Engineering Department.

Ron Bauman: So I was going to ask what drew you to mechanical engineering, but I think you already answered it at least with __.

Mark Brandon: Well it’s funny I say that.

Ron Bauman: Sounds like it’s in your blood, in your genes a little bit.

Mark Brandon: Sort of is that, I say that my parents had the reason I didn’t do chemical engineering, but that’s just me being a brat. So really the mechanical engineering is because it’s really diverse. You get a taste of all of the different fields, which works well with me because I sort of have, like topic ADD. So if I tried to focus on just chemical engineering and just refining or processing of that, I would get bored. But with mechanical engineering, like Destined Goods, is also an example of the fact that I could take a five year degree from a university, and apply it to an art form. Because I use the CAD and the CNC experience and thinking through the material science that I used. So, that’s really what drew me to it is the diversity of it.

Ron Bauman: So, you go through Drexel, you end up at Sunoco for a few years, not really digging the corporate thing. You start to have these ideas, and you ended up … What was the root of that inspiration that said, “I’m gonna start, making these other things, and I’m going to start making these products that are potentially bringing friends and family together,” talk about that inspiration.

Mark Brandon: So I think it all kind of exploded in my senior year. And maybe that’s because it was the culmination of where I was actually at the point that I was comfortable enough to make the products. I had had an idea to do an automated drink dispenser, like an automated bartender or robotic bartender.

Ron Bauman: So I’m sensing a theme with your products.

Mark Brandon: I guess as my wife puts it, if I had two products senior year that I was working on. My senior design project, which was in an automated bartender, and then the party game, which was called Slushin’ Roulette. I think it was the second term of working with senior design I started jumping into Slushin’ Roulette and working on that as well. And that incorporating electronics also. So I basically shoved in Arduino into a shell that looked like a revolver chamber, like Russian Roulette.

Mark Brandon: So I started developing that product. That’s actually the first product that I worked on when I joined NextFab. I try to Kickstarter and then a bookshelf that, like I mentioned earlier. So that’s really where it all just started to kick off because, I felt really confident in my ability of fabricating, and I proved to myself, “Hey, I actually can make these things that I think up. What’s the next thing I can do?”

Ron Bauman: What is the next thing?

Mark Brandon: Well, not to jump the gun. I actually worked on Slushin’ Roulette for several years, did the kickstart in 2016 here, and then took a little bit of time off. I also had my wedding coming up in 2007, 2016.

Ron Bauman: Gotta get that right.

Mark Brandon: Yeah.

Ron Bauman: It’s also documented.

Mark Brandon: Yeah, she’ll kill me. So that led me into joining NextFab. I joined here and basically my routine was wake up in the morning, go to work as early as possible, get here at like six or seven, stayed till they were closing. They usually kicked me out the door. 10 o’clock at night they were like, “Come on, we want to go home too.” And then sometimes I’d stop at the gym if it was open late enough and then I would go home and just continue that rotation as much as possible. And it was good because I didn’t have any external pressures to do anything else. I could really dive into the project. But it also gave me the opportunity to learn a lot of different skills, that helped later on with this venture. Just soft skills as well as software skills with illustrator, web development, things like that. 3D printing laser cutting, CNC, all of it kind of came together to help out big time with this one.

Ron Bauman: So you have this side, that dedication to being here and you’re here from open to close at NextFab, you had a site there. Talk to me about really what’s driving that passion? Is it just that urge to make it and work with your hands? What’s really driving that dedication and that passion that you have?

Mark Brandon: Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. So I think just as much as I love to design products and iterate my products. At the same time, I want to see the fulfillment part of it. I want people to own them, enjoy them, and love it to a point that they become an ambassador. So until I get to that point, and I won’t stop at that point, that’s really that driving factor. And I continue to want to make my product better and better. So that on the tail end of it, on the consumer usage part of it, it just becomes even more of a wanted product essentially.

Ron Bauman: So tell us a little bit more about how NextFab has sort of helped you get to where you’re at right now with Destined Goods. And we know that you’re one of the members and companies here that use more than one department. So talk to us about the integration of the different departments and how NextFab helps you sort of navigate through and kind of charter help, charter success.

Mark Brandon: There are two big things that NextFab provides that really make this a much faster, experience for me. The first one being, the person, part of it. So all of the different experts in all of the different expertise that would take me four or five lifetimes at a minimum to attain. If there’s a particular skill set that I want to use, there’s at least one or two people that are near expert level if not expert level. And so not having to take several months, but several hours to get to something that I want to do. It makes the design and iteration process so much faster.

Mark Brandon: So it helps with time and money. Obviously. The other thing too, the cost prohibitive part of all of the tools. If I wanted to start my own shop, and I’m sure I would come up with something, but I don’t know. Like off the top of my head I really don’t know because it’s such a unique space. Having all of these tools that cost tens of thousands of dollars to obtain. It would really be prohibitive to do it on my own. So having access to them on day one, just affords me the opportunity to design and produce at a level that would take much longer. So it really is a competitive advantage from that standpoint.

Ron Bauman: So we know about all of the making that happens here, we know about the product-ization of somebody that can come in and with a project, make a coffee table or you could build an automated robot. Tell us about the entrepreneurial aspects of what happens here at NextFab.

Mark Brandon: So I know, for me the biggest benefit of the entrepreneurial aspect and having other companies that are incubating here are working their day jobs here is, the motivating factor. So if it was just me and the rest of the place was, or if I was in my own place, let’s say, and it wasn’t a community space. Admittedly it would be a bit harder to motivate myself to be just pounding out work all day long and then possibly all the way until midnight. But knowing between 2019 and having other businesses that are producing and manufacturing.

Mark Brandon: As well as upstairs in the community space and even in the metal shop, in the wood shop. Seeing people that are working just as hard, makes you not necessarily muster up that competitive spirit, but at once you to be your best entrepreneur. Because you see other people doing it as well. So that really helps. Also from a networking standpoint, there are so many people that know people, that it grows your networks so quickly.

Ron Bauman: Yeah. And I think you have that, you still have the common, at least for the time being, you have that commonality of the small batch manufacturing that you hear about so much. And you know with making making a comeback and bringing manufacturing back to the United States, and to this region in Philadelphia specifically. Which, we were the wood shop of the world, Philadelphia was referred to at one point. And it’s great to see all of this, reemergence, of people making things again. And I think, with the small batch manufacturing allows for a lot more customization.

Mark Brandon: It does.

Ron Bauman: So talk to us about sort of how that plays into to Destined Goods and the things that you make.

Mark Brandon: Yeah. So it’s funny that you say that. At first when I started Destined Goods, the idea of it came from, we did a destination wedding slash honeymoon in Cancun, Riviera Maya Mexico. So when we were at the first resort, we sell these random bottles. I didn’t know what they were, I thought they were vases or something. Come to find out it tequila tasting at the Cantina. It was Tequila decanters. I’m like, “Those are cool.” Come the honeymoon. They were pitching them to every couple. They are like, “Hey, do you want to try some? Don’t you want to buy one?” And then finally by the end of it I said, “That would be a really cool memento to commemorate the wedding.” And it being in Mexico and the honeymoon and everything else. And the thing was super ornate. It was beautiful. And, the whole week of the honeymoon my wife and I were talking about how do we get a passive income lifestyle so that we can do what we see other couples doing here.

Mark Brandon: We were talking to one couple, they were a cold cut distributor from New York. And they were like, “We come down here three times a year.” And we said, “Man, if we come down here once every five years I would be fantastic. So good for you.” And so when we came back and we’re looking through the thank you notes and everything else and opening up cards, I look at jokingly put it at the top of our entertainment center like a trophy. The bottle, and I said, “I’m going to keep that forever because I’m going to remember the wedding.” Although the Tequila is going to be long gone, within a year. But at least I’ll have the bottle to remember it forever. I’ll keep filling it with the other tequilas.

Mark Brandon: And then I thought, I’m sure there are millions of other couples out there want something that could commemorate their wedding, commemorate their first child, commemorate a promotion, anything like that. Even if it’s not necessarily a Tequila, it could be some sort of a spirit. So it got me thinking on the decanter style. And I didn’t want to do what everybody else does, which is crystal and glass decanters. I wanted it to be more ornate, like a vase. So I was thinking, maybe wood turning. And then I looked at that company I got the decanter from, and they said it on their website they do slip casting ceramics. So that’s how I got into the idea of slip casting.

Mark Brandon: Pivoting back to the Slushin’ Roulette idea, I did a Kickstarter. I didn’t raise enough money. The difficulty was not that the product costs a lot. It wasn’t, it was 80% margin if I sold it. The difficulty was the minimum order quantity that, resulting we needed me to raise $70 thousand to make zero dollar. $30 thousand for tooling and molds for the injection molded parts. And then $40 thousand for the cost of goods, to get that minimum order quantity. And then you come up with $70 thousand. So that’s obviously what the Kickstarter is for. And that’s make zero dollars, basically. Obviously to have some extra inventory to make money off of, cause it’d be 100% profit, at that point. But still that’s a big nut to crack. So when it came to Destined Goods, I wasn’t integrating that lesson learned. But what I was trying to do was, because the inspiration was make it passive income. My priority was make it outsourced as much as possible.

Mark Brandon: So I was using crowdsourcing for logo generation. I found a guy on Kickstarter that makes ceramic plates. I asked him how he gets them made. He said, “Here’s a guy I talked to, he’s a broker for a Chinese manufacturer.” So I just said, “Hey, I have this idea for bottles. What would the cost be?” He said, “It’d be a few dollars each. How many do I have to buy? 2000.” So not that it’s a ton of capital, but it was an idea. I had no idea if anybody wanted to buy it. So for a little less, but still $10 thousand dollars I could end up just sitting on ceramic bottles forever to garage. I didn’t like the idea that, I said, “You know what? I’m getting that bad taste in my mouth just like I did with the Slushin’ Roulette Kickstarter and overseas manufacturing.”

Mark Brandon: And then the maker in me started coming back out and I said, “You know what? For less than what that inventory costs could be, I could buy all of the equipment to start my own ceramic shop.”

Ron Bauman: Let’s talk about some of the people in your life that have inspired you, that have helped you get to where you’re at today.

Mark Brandon: Yeah, absolutely. My dad was always a hands on guy. Maybe not necessarily a master carpenter or plumber or anything else, but he was able to get the job done. So, I was lucky enough that he would always allow me to help him out with it. So I could at least get that experience of seeing what you can do with your hands.

Ron Bauman: Did you work on projects together when you were a kid?

Mark Brandon: Yeah. We worked on a lot of different projects. They got me the 30 and one radio kit from radio shack. So they quickly and kind of like,

Ron Bauman: Nudge you that way?

Mark Brandon: They sort of tried to nudge me into the engineering realm and an electronics realm, which I’m really appreciative of. They were random things. They would start getting me soldering kits. So, there was like a little robotic spider you put together, you solder the board together, to get everything to work. Just so, I didn’t know what I was doing. They read the instructions, but at least they kind of introduced me to the concepts of it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know what it was. But I think one of the larger projects that I took on was when I got into wood shop in high school, that’s when I really had a love for making things. So, at first it was basically, “All right. Everybody makes a shelf.” It’s wood shop one intro to wood shop, you’re making a shelf or you’re making a paper towel dispenser. And then you get into wood shop two and three where you make your own things.

Mark Brandon: So, I was able to start pulling from the project books. I could make a really cool revealed dovetail table with an ash top and walnut legs. That came out awesome. I was starting to incorporate different finishes, so using India ink to do a cherry finish. So, I think that’s when I started getting an appreciation for sort of a modern blend of matching. Not stark contrasting materials, but different type of materials without making them look super embellished, letting them be their own material. But by combining them, getting the cool sense, and I think that came back with Destined Goods with the ceramics and the leather and the wood and the metals. But my wood shop teacher, Mr Loughlin, was really cool sounding board.

Ron Bauman: I was just going to ask, did you have any teachers that specifically influenced you?

Mark Brandon: Yeah. Absolutely. He did big time. But my first project that I ideated from scratch and created with the help of my wood shop teacher and then actually help with my dad as well, was in sophomore year I wanted to make my own basic guitar. Worked out really well. It didn’t sound the best, because I’m not a luthier. But it worked.

Ron Bauman: Do you play? Are you a musician as well?

Mark Brandon: I haven’t touched it in a couple of years. I’m just a hobbyist. I don’t know how to read music or anything. I more so liked making it. I like playing it as well, but just as a hobby when I can.

Ron Bauman: Who else do you draw inspiration from?

Mark Brandon: So from a working standpoint, my wife is a huge inspiration, and she didn’t pay me to say that.

Ron Bauman: That’s a good answer. I was going to say cause this will be made public at some point. Exactly.

Mark Brandon: That’s the opening line of it. But she’s probably the hardest working person I’ve ever met. But, for me, even though if I get home and I’m exhausted and I don’t want to do some of the administrative stuff. When she’s on the couch next to me, and she’s got her laptop open til 10 o’clock at night, and it’s hard for me to say, “Hey, I’m going to turn the TV on even though I have stuff to do.” So it just keeps motivating me.

Ron Bauman: Sometimes it’s like another competitive theme that’s emerging here.

Mark Brandon: Yes. I mean it’s a little bit of that, live to work. And we both want to have more of that work life balance lifestyle. But, at the same time, it’s kind of integrated into our bones because we do enjoy what we do. And even though sometimes we do need a break here and there, it’s hard for us to not do that around the clock.

Ron Bauman: Yeah. I think one of the most important things for entrepreneurs is to really be able to connect their passion, to what they’re doing and to their purpose. And really infusing that, not only into your business model, but into your brand and everything that is involved with what you’re doing and what you’re making. So, we find that passion really becomes, what are you good at? And how do you want to spend your time? Where do you like to do? And what are you good at? And then that at that intersection is where you find passion. And then that’s what, if you can connect that to, your life’s calling and make that your life’s calling, then you know what better way to spend your days and your time. So that’s awesome. What’s the future look like for Destined Goods?

Mark Brandon: I want to grow from a talent acquisition standpoint. As well as I guess you could say, a fabrication warehouse standpoint organically, as the business finds the need for it. So, as I start getting larger orders, and it makes more sense to me for me to have laser independence, and buy my own laser cutter because if I have an order that is tens of thousands of dollars for our corporation as I’m working towards. It makes sense to get a laser cutter that’s a couple thousand dollars because the ROI makes sense. And then it helps me grow. I have different product ideas that the cost is a little bit high because I have to use a community laser cutter where I’m paying for the machine time. But if it’s a machine that’s already buried into my overhead costs, I can get the product costs down as well. So then I can start expanding my product offering as well.

Mark Brandon: I could start doing some cutting boards, and coasters, and some other home goods. I want to do wall furnishings as well. And then things that are outside of home goods. But I could go on and on about it. I have to stay focused a little bit on what I’m offering for the time being.

Ron Bauman: That’s great. So where can we find Destined Goods?

Mark Brandon: So Destined Goods I sell on my website @ destinedgoods.com, and all social media. I guess the popular ones, Facebook and Instagram, I have Destined Goods as well. So that’s the easiest way for people to find it and that’s where the store is as well.

Ron Bauman: Awesome. Any other favorite Instagram accounts?

Mark Brandon: I like following NextFab because I get to see what people are doing.

Ron Bauman: Good answer. Good answer.

Mark Brandon: I think it’s #NextFabMade.

Ron Bauman: Yes, that is the primary hashtag. Well it’s great to see how NextFab has played a role in your success. Last question, what’s the best advice you can give to budding entrepreneurs?

Mark Brandon: So if there are things that you don’t feel competent in, don’t feel like you have to be turning your wheels and figuring it out yourself. Feel comfortable reaching out to other entrepreneurs. Rather makers or there kind of one in the same most of the time. Because a lot of the time, they know where you’re coming from, they’ve learned those lessons. It doesn’t have to necessarily be an investor or a coach. It could be somebody who has their own business. That’s kind of the best source. And that’s what really helped me out. Is just reaching out to other artisans and other people who started their own company.

Ron Bauman: That’s awesome.

Mark Brandon: Yeah.

Ron Bauman: Well, Mark, thank you for your time. We wish you the best of luck with Destined Goods. We look forward to seeing you around the shop here at NextFab and until next time.

Mark Brandon: Thank you very much.

Ron Bauman: Alright. You got it.

Ron Bauman: Thank you for listening to this episode of Break Through. I’m your host, Ron Bauman, serial entrepreneur, founder of Milk Street Marketing, and NextFab member. To learn more about how NextFab can help you make your ideas come to life, visit nextfab.com and be sure to follow #NextFabMade on social to see what our members are making!

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