#societies and lockdown shopping

[wileys-russo]

i’ve noticed that alexia usually doesn’t wear nail polish and it gave me a thought..

imagine reader being super happy to always do her own nails with different nail polishes and designs and having them perfectly manicured even though they are short for practical reasons and then one day reader is doing her nails bc she’s bored and alexia is there watching a match as preparation like always and reader begs her to let her do her nails as well and alexia gives in because she can’t resist reader but is like 😐 the entire time even though she secretly loves it

and reader paints the nails a rose color with small red hearts because it’s cute and ale is like 😐 still

reader posts a story of it super proud of the design (bc small hearts on short nails are a pain in the ass let me tell you) and ale still acts like she couldn’t care less

butttt then refuses to let reader take it off again and keeps it the entire time even though it grows out and gets chapped and everything and next time reader does her own nails and is about to put the nail polishes away, ale is like: what about me? ☹️

tiny red hearts II a.putellas

amid the pandemic everyone picked up a hobbie in lockdown.

if it be knitting, dancing, pottery, reading, cooking, puzzles. you name it, someone had likely perfected it as an art form during those weeks and weeks locked away from society.

you were no different. you'd tried cooking, reading, jigsaws, colouring in, sudoku, but nothing really clicked.

until one day you were endlessly doom scrolling your various social medias as again, everyone was, when you stumbled across a nail art video. intrigued you'd watched it, then another, and another, and another.

then before you knew it you had package after package arriving on your doorstep and the days melted into weeks as you worked tirelessly to perfect the art.

and now, you'd done it.

which is how you came to be sitting on the floor of your apartment, bottles of polish sat in perfect colour coded order on the coffee table with all your little brushes and tools neatly lined up in front.

your bottom lip was firmly between your teeth, eyebrows furrowed deeply with concentration as your eyes squinted and your hand moved slowly and precisely.

your girlfriend of two years whom you shared your home with lay stretched out on the sofa behind your head, toned tanned arms crossed firmly across her chest.

her face was stoic and seemingly stern as ever, nothing unusual when she was reviewing game footage and given she wasn't currently able to play her studying had only increased.

you were off in your own little world and she was in hers, you coexisted but knew how not to be codependent, one of the things that made your relationship healthy was the fact that despite how long you'd been seeing one another you still spent time apart.

you would go shopping or out for drinks with your school friends you'd known for years, as alexia would often go for dinner or hikes with some of her own childhood friends.

that's not to say you weren't infatuated with one another, and whenever you did spend time apart you were increasingly clingy that night once you were reunited but when out you knew to respect one another's time and space.

with a small exhale of relief you finally finished the intricate design you'd been working on, your frown switching quickly into a grin as you slipped your hand into the UV nail lamp and waited for them to dry.

since a young age you were known to daydream, your girlfriend finding it adorable as much as amusing as you'd zone out from reality and go somewhere she never understood. sometimes alexia would just watch you with lovesick puppy dog eyes filled with nothing but pure adoration, though always in the privacy and intimacy of just one another's company.

like right now where you'd clearly drifted off somewhere as the footballers eyes glanced down toward you and her hardened features softened, corners of her mouth curled upward into a smile.

"hola princesa." you snapped right out of it as her foot moved to push at your shoulder, dragging you back down to earth as you shrugged her off and sent her a playful glare, pulling your hand out and flicking off the lamp as both of them were now dry.

"look!" you leapt up eagerly and dropped down on the lounge next to your girlfriend, wiggling your fingers proudly at the blonde who hummed.

"muy bien bebé." alexia complimented, softly kissing your cheek and turning her attention back to the television where the match had resumed, as did the stoic expression on her face.

"alee." you started with a coy smile, grabbing her hand and interlacing your fingers with a gentle squeeze. "mm?" the midfielder hummed, eyes unmoving from the screen.

"can i paint your nails amor?" you asked, alexia only letting out a puff of air from her nose as she chuckled, shaking her head. "please! you know i'm good and they'll look good." you pleaded, squeezing her hand again.

"no princesa, no nails." alexia shook her head as you huffed, moving to rest your chin on her shoulder, lazily kissing her jaw. "please? please, please, please-" you repeated over and over, peppering kisses across her face.

now as much as alexia could be at times be a fierce woman, driven and passionate and willing to do absolutely anything to achieve whatever she set her mind to, she had a fatal soft spot.

you.

alexia would do nearly everything that you asked of her, with a few sweet words in her ear and a charming smile you had the catalan wrapped around your little finger, and you knew it.

so of course it was with a deep seeded sigh that alexia gave into your demand, wordlessly placing her free hand in your lap as you beamed. clapping happily you sat up properly and grabbed her chin in your hand, pecking her lips a few times and reveling in the slight pink blush which coated her cheeks.

you sat back down on the ground and stared carefully at your arsenal of colours, taking a few moments to decide what you wanted to do before nodding happily and grabbing what you needed.

you settled back down on the lounge as again alexia moved her hand into your lap, eyes glued to the match as her eyebrows turned downward in frustration at a fumbled tackle and an easily preventable shot at the barcelona goal.

"you will get wrinkles corazón." you teased, smoothing out her eyebrows with your thumb as the tiniest of smiles flickered across her face just for a moment which wasn't missed by you.

warning her to stay still you placed her right hand down on your knee and grabbed out the first colour after tugging the coffee table closer so everything you needed was well within reach to avoid anything being knocked or falling.

much as alexia might bend over backwards to do as you asked you knew well enough if you spilled even a drop of polish on the carpet or the sofa you'd be hearing about it for days.

as you set to work your girlfriends face remained stoic, but her bright hazel eyes flickered down to you curiously every now and then, corner of her lip curling upward at the look of sheer concentration on your face and the way the tip of your tongue poked out of the side of your mouth.

finishing one hand you blew gently on the nails, unable to use the machine which was plugged in and just out of reach. though not in any rush as you awaited her first hand to dry you kept a cautious eye that she didn't move as your head dropped to her shoulder.

there was a comfortable silence between you, the only sound the occasional grunt of frustration from the taller girl whose side you were curled into, a shake of her head and something mumbled under her breath at every costly mistake.

her first hand drying you tapped her knee, gesturing for her to swing her legs into your lap so you could reach her other hand. shuffling her body she did as you asked, sliding down a little as her head thumped backward into the soft cushions behind.

you couldn't do anything to keep the smile off your face as you worked on your girlfriends nail design, incredibly happy with how it turned out as again you gently blew on her hand, settling it back into her lap to dry.

warning her about not moving you crawled up the lounge and wedged yourself in beside her, sitting half on top of her much to the older girls amusement as you pulled her other arm to drape across your shoulder allowing you to tuck yourself even tighter into her side.

checking a few moments later you were happy they were dry and sat up a little, shrugging off your girlfriends arm and eagerly taking her hands in yours.

"done." you announced happily, holding her hands up as alexia's eyes moved from the tv to her hands which made yours seem tiny, your own gaze falling to admire both the size difference and the small 11 tattooed on the back of her palm.

"i did more of a pale pink because i know you do not like them too bright, but i did tiny red hearts on each nail for barca!" you explained with a beaming smile, alexia melting at the confession as she stole a glance toward you and softened even more seeing the clear delight in your eyes.

"perfecto bebita." your girlfriend gave you a small smile not giving much away, one of her hands slipping around to cup the back of your neck and bringing you into a tender kiss.

"can i put them on my story? i think these are some of my favourites." you asked hopefully as alexia shrugged, eyes having returned back to the final few minutes of the match, seemingly unfazed.

grabbing your phone you positioned her hands on her knees, taking a few photos and editing your favourite before adding it onto your instagram and curling back up on top of your girlfriend who held you tightly, eyes flickering down to her nails with a small hidden smile every few minutes.

~

that next day at training was a very different story though as alexia couldn't wait to show off her nails to the rest of the team. the morning was spent with the midfielder very proudly boasting how good you were and that you were completely self taught, ignoring all the teasing remarks thrown her way about how she'd gone soft.

when you'd come to collect her that afternoon having dropped her off and borrowed her car for the day as yours was being serviced you were overwhelmed as a small group of the girls suddenly swarmed you in the carpark.

"hey hey hey back up vale!" alexia warned protectively, moving in front of you with a mean stare as a few of the younger girls cowered and hurried off to their own cars as the rest rolled their eyes.

"me next amiga! maybe little black hearts? or...letters." mapi beamed, eyes flickering toward her girlfriend who caught onto what she was wanting and blushed as you laughed.

"get your own! este es mío." alexia huffed, wrapping herself around you as her chin hooked into your shoulder and she sent her best friend a glare.

"tomorrow? you can cook me dinner as payment." you offered, mapi agreeing eagerly as you promised to also do ingrid's nails as you caught her pouting at you over her girlfriends head.

"sí, sí! before the next game chicas, promise." you laughed as pina, salma and patri swooped in next undeterred by the murderous glare given by your girlfriend who refused to unwind her arms where they wrapped tightly around your torso holding your back flush to her front.

"we are going! relax capi, you will get wrinkles." patri smirked as alexia's eyes narrowed even further and the three sprinted off and away. with a small laugh you craned your back back staring up at your girlfriend with a wide grin.

"see amor? i warned you about the frown wrinkles."

~

you expected alexia to allow the nails for a couple of days before she'd want to return back to normal with a clean set again, so you were surprised when anytime you'd offer to help her take it off she seemed to come up with every and any excuse not to.

by the end of day five with the rigorous gym program and workouts needed with alexia's recovery the polish was cracked and chipped, most of it worn off and faded, hearts now barely small red blobs.

it was that night alexia finally seemed eager for you to wipe them clean, again swinging her long bare legs into your lap and settling her hands on her knee for you to work on.

the removal process compared to the creation was next to nothing and before even five minutes had passed you were finished, tapping her legs to let you up to move your things back to the bathroom where they normally lived.

when you returned it was to an empty and dark living room, changing route you followed the light at the end of the hallway where you finally found your girlfriend once more.

you held a hand over your mouth to stifle the loud boom of laughter you wished you could get out, the catalan having fallen deep asleep on top of the bed, one of your favorite dramas playing in the background where she'd clearly intended the two of you to lay in bed together and watch.

with a small sigh of amusement you flitted back around the house ensuring everything was locked and off before you returned, closing the bedroom door behind you with a gentle click.

the room now only illuminated by the dim glow of the tv as you flicked off the downlight you made you way around to her side of the bed and crouched down.

"amor. amor. cari? ale." you repeated softly, moving one arm to shake her lightly when there was no response, the blondes chocolate brown eyes fluttering open tiredly as you shook her a little harder.

"hey baby, into bed?" you ran a hand through her mane of hair, moving a few loose strands off her forehead with a soft smile as the footballer sighed tiredly but sat up as you tugged down the covers allowing her to slip inside properly.

already showered and changed you ducked off to the bathroom to brush your teeth before joining her, chuckling as once more she was seemingly dead to the world, mouth ever so slightly ajar as her blonde hair sprawled across the pillow.

though as the mattress dipped, never the heaviest of sleepers alexia awoke a little, turning around to her other side and shuffling down the bed as her face pressed into your neck and her long legs tangled with yours, feet rubbing against one another.

you felt an i love you mumbled against your skin as her arms wrapped tightly around you, latching her taller body firmly onto yours making you smile and tangle a hand in her hair.

~

the next night you removed your own nail polish and sat down to redo it, having spent a few hours scrolling through for inspiration before it struck and within minutes you'd grabbed what you needed and settled.

though before you could even glance to the bottles of polish a body dropped down next to you and suddenly strong hands were on your hips lifting you up.

"ale!" you laughed as she set you down on her lap, long legs stretched out straight as you wiggled a little to get comfortable. "my turn first please." the girl spoke in her accented english, her hands moving around you and placing themselves on your knees.

"oh your turn?" you asked both equally pleased and surprised, turning a little so you could look up at her. "sí, mi novia so my turn." alexia smiled softly, ducking her head to press a lingering kiss against your lips.

you smiled as you pulled away, a hand softly carressing her cheek as your thumb pulled at her bottom lip, pressing another tender kiss against them with a lovesick sigh.

"of course mi amor whatever you want. so, what colour?"

#woso x reader #woso #woso community #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs

[alpaca-clouds]

What Mutual Aid can look like

If you grow up in modern society, there is a good chance you will only ever associate anarchism with violence and rebellion. This ignores though the core principle of anarchism. Like one of the things, that anarchism is build around: Mutual Aid.

And guess what: That kinda is something that human society for the longest time has been build around. (See also what I wrote a few weeks ago about gift societies before money was a thing.)

Mutual Aid is just, what it sounds like: Helping each other in ways we can help. Which can mean a lot of different things, because different people have different abilities to help.

You know, one of the things I liked about the early pandemic with the lockdown and what not was, that people rediscovered Mutual Aid, because a lot of people did not only need it, but also had the time to do it.

And what we really need to learn is, that Mutual Aid does not mean that everyone does exactly the same for each other (in terms of workload). Because some people just have more capacities than other people. And that is okay.

Too often Mutual Aid when discussed in media kinda only focuses on financial aid. And do not get me wrong: Helping someone to cover essencial costs is absolutely 100% a form of Mutual Aid. But... This is still very much caught within the capitalist thinking. And it can be so much more. So... Let me talk what else Mutual Aid can be:

Cooking for each other/for your neighboors. Maybe you have this old guy in the neighboorhood who just cannot properly cook for himself, because he just cannot stand for long enough to do it. Or maybe there is this single mom with two kids who works long hours and just does not have the energy to properly cook afterwards. And you might be cooking either way. So maybe you can cook for them, too?

Something we saw in the pandemic a lot: Going grocery shopping for your friends or neighbours. People were unable to go shopping because they themselves got infected with COVID or were immuno compromised? Folks went shopping for them. Why not keep it up? Covid is not over. Also, that old lady downstairs might have issues carrying her own groceries.

Repairing all sorts of things for other people. Be it their broken computer, their broken bike or car, or be it fixing that hole in their clothing. You have the skills to fix it? Why not fix it for them then, instead of forcing them to either buy new stuff or have it fixed for a ton of money.

Or one thing my roommate will always do for me: Cut my hair. That, too, is mutual aid. I need that hair cut. She will do it for me. That, too, is mutual aid.

Or if you are skilled in sowing, maybe actually sew clothes for people who cannot afford proper ones (aka clothing that is not gonna fall apart after a year)? That, too, is mutual aid.

And there is this friend who needs to go somewhere but does not have a car and the place is not easily reachable with other modes of transportation? Yeah, driving them is another form of Mutual Aid.

I could go on and on about this, babysitting, petsitting, helping someone clean, borrowing tools and so on... I think you get the idea, though. Mutual aid is... surprisingly easy. And most people already give it out on a pretty regular basis.

Because, again: People are actually pretty darn decent. We usually do things for each other because doing things for each other actually feels kinda good.

So... yeah. Maybe think about that. And think about how great society would be if more people were doing this.

#solarpunk #anarchism #mutual aid #helping out #helping each other #humans are good actually #anti capitalism #working together #optimism #hope

[luxe-pauvre]

Before the pandemic, there was a real world, and this fake one, real friendships and “friends”, political communities and “followers”, genuine political expression and “likes”. The risk, when interactions with other human beings are narrowed to these remote, glancing and often combative exchanges – simulations – is that, once the lockdowns are over, people will bring the culture of the virtual into the real, creating even angrier, more impatient, more superficial, more transactional, more commercial and less democratic societies. Forging stronger bonds in a post-pandemic world, if one ever comes, will require acts of moral imagination that are not part of any political ideology or corporate mission statement, but are, instead, functions of the human condition: tenderness, compassion, longing, generosity, allegiance and affection. These, too, are the only real answers to loneliness, alienation, dislocation and disintegration. But the fullest expression of these functions across distances as easily spanned by viruses and flood waters as by broadband cables and TikTok videos, requires both society and government. What’s needed is nothing less than a new social contract for public goods, environmental protection, sustainable agriculture, public health, community centres, public education, grants for small businesses, public funding for the arts. It won’t be a new New Deal. The dangers are graver because decades of a world, both real and virtual, shaped by Reaganism and Thatcherism, has left the waters rising, all around us, and the forests on fire. Governments rest on a social contract, an agreement to live together. That contract needs renewing. But the problem, in the end, isn’t with society, or the social fabric. It’s with governments that have abandoned their obligations of care. Liberalism didn’t kill society. And conservatism didn’t kill society. Because society isn’t dead. But it is pallid and fretful, like a shut-in staring all day long at nothing but a screen, mistaking a mirror for a window. Inside, online, there is no society, only the simulation of it. But, outside, on the grass and the pavement, in the woods and on the streets, in playgrounds and schoolyards and ballparks, in council flats and shops and pubs and agricultural fairs and libraries and union halls, society hums along, if not with the deafening thrum of a steam-driven machine, then with the hand-oiled, creaking clatter of an antwacky wooden loom.

Jill Lepore, Is society coming apart?

#Jill Lepore #Is society coming apart?

[lyndonriggall]

Tea and Coffee on a Winter’s Night: Psalm for the Wild Built, Legends and Lattes and the Welcome Rise of Cosy Fiction

Narrative structures in fiction have traditionally been fairly straightforward: give your audience stakes, the higher the better. If the entire world (or even universe) isn’t in peril, you’re probably not trying hard enough.

That said, as we reach the winter months here in Australia, like a lot of people I have begun to wonder if there isn’t demand for worlds in which the intensity level is set a little lower. During the lockdowns of Covid I sought solace from my fears in the world of the Nintendo videogame Animal Crossing, in which players are thrust into a new life on an idyllic tropical island, making friends with the creatures that live there and gradually improving the infrastructure of the town around them. Those who ask how to “win” the game have to be content with a non-committal shrug: Animal Crossing offers things to do and achieve, certainly, but the concept of ultimate victory is at odds with its essential nature. It is a safe place—all of the pressure of outcome washing away on a gentle tide. Similarly, for years the concept of “escapism” in literature has been a term of derision: a label that implies that both reader and writer are sharing a delusion in order to hide from their own realities. It is intriguing, then, that the genres of science fiction and fantasy—most commonly attacked with this charge—have embraced a recent turn towards an intensified version of this feeling. In “cosy” fiction, the danger is dramatically lowered, the tone is introspective and internally transformative, rather than externally so, and there is a focus on comfort: heart, hearth, armchair and hot beverage.

Cosy novels are cottagecore. They are the kinds of books you might read upon waking from a nightmare, the literary equivalent of a hot drink by the fire on a cold night.

I would love to introduce two of my favourites to you.

A Cup of Tea:

Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

Becky Chambers’ glorious science fiction story (winner of the Hugo Award for Best novella) is the story of Dex, a non-binary tea monk who travels from town to town, composing bespoke blends and listening to the problems of the citizens that live in the places they visit. Dex always feels that something is missing, and one day they decide to brave the forbidden wilderness surrounding the urban areas. The wild is home to the world’s robots, who generations ago gained sentience and requested release from human society. One of them, Mosscap, finds and greets Dex. Together they continue their exploration and shared mission of helping soothe the ills of the troubled while finding purpose in their own lives.

Chamber’s book can be read in only a couple of hours, but its effect is longer-lasting. It is a tale that reminds us that acts of kindness may seem small, but their impact has echoes. Tea is the perfect symbol and metaphor for Psalm for the Wild-Built, a novella that is by turns soothing, meditative, and which never fails to warm some small forgotten corner of the human soul.

A Cup of Coffee: Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree

Travis Baldree’s offering to the genre of cosy fiction takes readers to a very different landscape: the fantasy city of Thune. Here we meet Viv, an orc swordswoman and mercenary who has become weary of a life of violence and is captivated by an obsessive new vision: the possibility of starting a coffee shop. Her first hurdle, of course, is that no-one even knows what coffee is, but that is the least of her problems… her old life insists on trying to find a way to squeeze back in and drag her back to battle.

Like coffee, Legends and Lattes is similarly thawing but with a little more intensity of energy and a slightly sharper edge. Baldree creates a sense of community that is perhaps the book’s greatest asset, and both Viv and the reader form deep and enthusiastic connections with the novel’s diverse cast of characters: the hob Cal, the succubus Tandri, Thimble the baker, Pendry the bard and Amity the dire-cat. Watching Viv’s coffee-house gradually develop its menu, popularity and personality is a joy to behold. Quite simply, it allows for the reader to inhabit the part of living in a fantasy world that is lost to so many distant quests for forgotten treasures: community. If in most fantasy novels the reader finds a band of companion warriors, in Legends & Lattes they find friends: the kind that will sit with you quietly by the fire in an armchair, talking about nothing, with a freshly-baked cinnamon scroll to share between you. It is a story about friendship, love, and also about the fact that often in life it is the simplest of dreams that bring us the most satisfaction.

I love cosy fiction. As I explore the genre more, cosy books remind me, fundamentally, that it is okay for a story to just make us happy. We do not owe it to ourselves or anyone else that our literature is always an instrument and metaphor for struggle, personal improvement or academic deconstruction. What books can do—just as importantly—is give us a haven of respite from a chaotic world. A book can alleviate a small moment of human suffering. A book can heal a wound that you can’t see.

Many of us go to a cup of tea or coffee for a brief retreat and a touch of warmth in our bones.

If that’s the direction that fiction is heading in, pour me another.

#cozy fiction #cosy fiction #review #lit #psalm for the wild built #legends and lattes #becky chambers #travis baldree #original

[lockedvoice]

My Figure Skating Journey ⛸★⋆. ࿐࿔

Origins

Seeing Disney on Ice for the first time as a kid made me want to learn how to ice skate but my family couldn't afford it and there were no ice rinks near the small town, hence I started ice skating later in life as soon as I could finance it myself as a working adult!（ ´ ∀｀）

2014

The 2014 Winter Olympics inspired me so much that I decided to sign up for ballet classes in hopes that it would be a good distraction from the fact I wasn't able to figure skate. I ended up not only becoming a ballerina, but that's how I landed my first job as my ballet school's receptionist and assistant dance teacher.

To this day, I still use what I learnt in my short time with ballet on the ice (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

2016

Seasonal ice rinks started to appear near my hometown so I would go as often as I could while they were open. Coincidentally, Yuri on Ice came out in the same year and, since I'm an anime fan, it felt like fate at the time. I like to joke that the UK's Yuri On Ice fandom managed to magically summon seasonal ice rinks in places they never previously appeared in.

This is also the year I got my first pair of skates! The SFR Galaxies! Unfortunately, the ankle support on them was non-existent so I got a pretty bad ankle injury while trying to learn how to spin on them...

( ｡_｡)

Learn from my mistakes people, don't try learning figure skating moves on recreational skates. You need ankle support!

2019

A seasonal rink miraculously opened up for a few months in my hometown so I worked there and got free ice time as a staff member benefit (ㅅ´◡`)

Even when I wasn't working I'd often just hang out and ice skate with my friends during my free time. Some of my coworkers actually had proper figure skating training, they helped me out with certain moves from time to time.

I got my hands on the last pair of Edea Overtures at the closest skate shop and the rest is history. (I still can't believe the last pair they had were in my size!)

The rink staff became like family to me, I still consider 2019 to be one of the best years of my life. And then, shortly after, tragedy struck...

2020

Lockdown happened so no one other than competitive athletes could ice skate during that time. I used quad skates to skate outdoors in my neighborhood at the time but it just never felt the same as ice skating.

I wasn't very motivated during this time and my mental health started going down the drain because it was the first time in my life where I didn't have a set routine to distract me from life's stresses.

2021 - 2023

I went to University and became a committee member for their Ice Skating Society. University was not the greatest experience for me, I was suffering with an array of mental and health issues and was working two jobs while studying at one point.

The Ice Skating Society and the friends I made there were probably the sole reason I managed to keep myself together during my studies. Every time I would step on the ice I felt as though all of my stress would temporarily fade away.

By the time I got to my final year of study, the UK was in a major economic crisis so I was struggling to afford skating and I had to stop going to the ice rink entirely during the last semester.

Not being able to skate again hurt.

2023 & Beyond *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

As soon as I graduated from University, I moved to Serbia and started working almost immediately. I was burnt out and un-motived so I spent the first few months just getting used to life in Serbia and recovering from the stress University had put me through.

It took a while to regain my will to live (dramatic, I know) but once I did, I decided to visit the only Olympic sized ice rink in Serbia to see if I could potentially skate once again.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'll be training with a figure skating coach and I've decided to document my progress henceforth in hopes of inspiring others to fight so they can continue to do what they love. just like I did!

#figure skating #ice skating #disney on ice #yuri on ice

[kyndaris]

Purpose and Direction

Mental illness is something that has only, in recent decades, been properly acknowledged. With the help of the pandemic, it was pushed to the forefront of the social consciousness as people struggled to adapt to the new dorm of lockdowns. yet, even in this day and age, there is still a stigma associated with getting professional help to address the underlying issues of one’s psyche. And while society is focused on the high levels of anxiety and depression in our youth, in an age where purpose is almost impossible to find and apathy pervades even the brightest of minds, it should be noted that no age group is immune to mental illness.

Or its consequences.

From a personal level, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no stranger to suicide ideation. After all, when the world seems such a challenge, when all I do is float around, never hitting the milestones in life that others have, there have been days when I’ve wondered if the struggle is worth it. It just seems easier to remove oneself from the equation. To put an end to needless pain and suffering.

And this is exactly where we find Alfre “Frey” Holland in the opening moments of Forspoken. As the game begins, players find the main character on trial for theft. Which is her third misdemeanour. If not for the sympathetic judge, Maya Bird, and the fact that it’s nearly Christmas, Frey might be on a one-way trip to jail.

Fortunately for our protagonist, she gets off with community service instead. After all, the game needs to game. And putting Frey in prison isn’t going to lead to the events of Forspoken now, is it?

As Frey leaves the courts, however, she is accosted by the very thugs that asked her to steal a car and deliver it to their boss. She managed to escape but later the miscreants find the apartment Frey has been squatting in and burn it down. Along with the cash she had accrued to finally escape the mightmare her life had become.

Honestly, not being able to pick up the gym bag full of money bfore Frey went searching for Homer, WHILE THE APARTMENT WAS ON FIRE had me screaming at the screen. Every interaction I had with it, Frey would refuse to pick it up, commenting that she needed to find her cat. 

I know the game needs a reason for Frey to hit rock-bottom but learn some common sense!

Anyways, without the means to escape her current situation and having nowhere else to turn, Frey hands Homer to Maya Bird and then contemplates what to do with her life atop the Crossroads Hotel near the Holland Tunnel where she was found as a baby. As Frey debates whether or not to jump, she spots something in the corner of her eye. Breaking into the shop, she find a strange glittering vambrace and, as she reaches for it, is suddenly thrust into Athia.

Just like Alice, in her favourite book, Frey is now in a brand new world. But Athia is no Wonderland. Whereas Lewis Carroll, also known as Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, crafted a whimsical world with grinning cats and mad tea parties, the world of Athia is not nearly as fanciful. Rather, it is a world on the brink of collapse. And when viewed from the lens that its current state is a reflection of Frey’s tenuous mental state: her bone-deep depression that is just one bad day away from utter destruction, it makes sense that the world, although filled with fantastical landscapes and magic, is also a vast empty land devoid of people. Abandoned towns scatter the countryside and the only ‘living’ things are the creatures that have been corrupted by the Break. And as I was exploring the world, I couldn’t help but feel that the land itself was much too drab and washed-out (unless, of course I was in the heavy break-infused lands near the Tantas’ palaces. But those were really just word filters). It was only in photo mode where I could adjust the colour and saturation that Athia felt more alive.

After an encounter with a dragon, Frey begins her quest to find a way back home to New York and her cat, Homer. Along the way, she is forced to fight against the corrupted Tantas. In the process, she becomes a beacon of hope for the surviving denizens of Athia, even though the idea of being a hero is something she struggles to accept until the end. The weight of expectations and the duty thrust upon is something that Frey fights against throughout much of the game. An understandable reaction if one considers her fraught childhood and her difficult circumstances right before she was transported to Athia.

Some might have complained that her refusal to take up the call goes against the usual plucky video game protagonist, or makes her weak, but I thought this characterisation for Frey particularly apt. If I fell into another world that was suffering from a particular malaise and learned that I was their only hope, I’d be scared, too, of picking up that mantle. More so if I had a history of falling through the cracks of society as others failed to provide aid when I needed it and failing to meet the expectations of others.

But, supported by the townspeople that believe in her, such as Auden, Johedy and Pilo, Frey is able to push past the fear that held her back and save the broken land once and for all from the machinations of the evil daemon, Susurrus.

Of course, even by game’s end, Athia is not entirely free of the Break. While the work of trying to clear it may seem daunting, Frey and the Athians are content to put in the hard yards to rebuild. Just because you defeat the ancient demon of destruction doesn’t mean that the world suddenly returns to normal. As with mental health, saving Athia (and oneself) is a journey of thousands upon thousands of little steps. It’s about reprogramming the biases that we have. It’s about taking some time for yourself so that you don’t collapse when you focus on looking after others. And it’s also about accepting those bad parts of yourself and reconciling it with your strengths as a whole.

In not many games have I seen such a thorough exploration of mental health beyond Psychonauts. For, if we are to take the metaphor even further, Susurrus himself is that inner negative voice we have inside. The one that tells us we aren’t worthy. That we’re ugly. That we’re stupid and will fail whatever endeavour we try our hand at. I know that as a writer, I’m one of my own worst critics. Rereading some of my works, I can’t help but pinpoint every misspelling or error. Worse is when I’m editing my long-form stories and wonder why I spent so long on something so horrendously atrocious. It would be easier if I simply deleted everything.

Fittingly, sussurus is a noun that means whispering, murmuring or rustling: “The susurration of the wind in the trees.”

I suppose my only gripe with the mental illness angle of Forspoken is how each Tanta breaks. Theirs is not some slow descent. Somehow, Susurrus manages to push them over the brink and they suddenly go from well-meaning protector to outright tyrant. Or suddenly develop a split personality. I’d have preferred witnessing the descent into so-called ‘madness’ rather than be peppered by notes from the citizens that speak of the sudden reversal in the Tantas demeanour.

And for that matter, I’d have liked to have seen, rather than read, what life had been like in Athia before. Or to hear of the world before the Break from the older residents of Cipal. Forspoken, much like The DioField Chronicle has a lot of world-building and lore that is relegated to the background but remains untouched by the main narrative. It would have shown better the hope the people carried and the resignation they had reached after twenty years of worsening circumstances.

Beyond the story elements, Forspoken is a fun game especially in terms of traversal. After all, it’s not everyday that the main protagonist is a dexterous mage that can do magic parkour. While I did find some of the controls a little floaty or inexact, I loved being able to climb cliffs and watch the trail of magic that Frey left behind as she ran, jumped and floated to her next destination. Combat, too, was a blast. While I know that there are people who complained about it after playing the demo, I thought each set had its own unique quirks. It helped that enemies, too, had vulnerabilities or resistances to certain types of magic, which allowed me to change them on the fly when needed.

Of course, there’s no need to actually change the type of magic one liked best if you were overlevelled, but the different effects and the flashiness of the spells were quite enjoyable to see. That and the fact that you could switch them around on the fly with a button prompt.

Now, the dialogue. The one point that many critics and players alike too umbrage against. For me, personally, I never found anything to dislike about the exchanges between Frey and Cuff. Some people pointed to the awkward writing when Frey discovered she had powers and I retort that if I could suddenly move things with my mind, I’d probably say the same thing. The only character that I felt was lacklustre in delivery was actually the bard: Wallace. Most of his lines sounded like they had been phoned in or they were just said awkwardly.

Once you’ve played through Biomutant and had to deal with the grating narrator commenting on your every move, there isn’t anything else that compares.

Long story short, I enjoyed my time with Forspoken. While I was a little hesitant at first, seeing all the negative impressions of the game, I thought it best to still give it a fair go. And while the ending message was a little on the nose, reminding me of the one I wrote for my short story Unseen, I still feel like it bears repeating. If you are going through something hard or difficult, you are not alone. Help is available! You are NOT a burden. People DO care. Even if it’s just one other life, you HAVE made an impact and you have CHANGED it for the BETTER.

I’m also just going to insert a link to crisis lines for anyone that may need it right here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

And hey, you never know if you might just isekai into another world and become its saviour. 

On a site note, I definitely felt there were a few longing looks that were exchanged between Frey and Auden. But maybe that’s just me trying to see if there’s anything I can latch my fantasies onto. In any case, a sequel to Forspoken might be a far-off dream considering its poor performance.

#video games #forspoken #mental health #Frey x Auden #Or maybe they really are just gals being pals #I'm gonna ship them anyway

[iamdexter123]

#1 and #10 for the travel asks!

1. What trip did you plan during the early stages of lockdown to stay positive? In a huge twist for someone who loves travelling, I didn’t plan anything, probably because I was in ‘response’ mode. I’m talking the time of the pandemic where vaccines were a glimmer of hope on a far off horizon. There wasn’t room for thinking ahead; my partner and I took our lives day by day, because that was all we could do. I won’t get into the minutiae of our responsibilities but let’s just say neither of us could go home and switch off enough to even think about a holiday. We finally booked a trip to Singapore later this year to dip our toes back into the world of international flights, though.

10. Somewhere you’ve been that you Didn’t Get. Would you go back? Doha, Qatar. On my way to Turkey I stopped there to visit a friend who had been working in the Middle East for a couple of years. It was a 2x night/2x day kind of visit, so I didn’t research my destination as I usually would. I just got a taxi to her hotel apartment and let her play tour guide, which consisted of moving amongst the ex-pat community and culminating in a ‘brunch’: a 3 hour extravaganza of bottomless bubbles and buffet food at an international hotel, which then continued into drinking in her apartment because drinking alcohol in Qatar is not exactly what the locals do but something the foreigners excelled at.

So there were a lot of missed opportunities of understanding the culture. On top of that, my trip was coloured by my friend’s own experience of living there and working with Qataris (which wasn’t exactly a positive one). I also had one of my more intimidating airport experiences where an airport worker came around to my side of the desk, got into my space, touched the bracelets on my wrist and asked rather personal questions. I had (still have) a very Western view of women’s participation in society and found it rather confronting to see women wrapped head to toe in black despite the searing desert heat (which I suppose didn’t really matter, because no one went outside - another odd thing for an Australian to experience, not being able to enjoy the great outdoors!). Would I go back? Probably not. It’s hard for me to find anything there that would compel me to return, given it seemed the most I could do was hang out in shopping malls and drink quietly in Western hotel bars while ignoring the mostly predatory gaze of the local male population. Haven’t completely ruled out the Middle East though: UAE looks fun! Thanks for the playing along, Skye! I could talk about travel all day ✈️

Questions here

#travel #ask games

[kolajmag]

KOLAJ FEST NEW ORLEANS COLLAGE ON VIEW

Birdsongs

Joseph Havel at Arthur Roger Gallery in New Orleans, Louisiana, USA through 16 July 2022. The bronze sculptures and wall assemblages exhibited in “Birdsongs” are a collaboration between renowned sculptor Joseph Havel and his African grey parrot Hannah. Like most Americans during lockdown, Joseph Havel turned to online shopping to fulfill basic needs. With the abundance of cardboard boxes Hannah reverted to her natural instincts and began chewing on the boxes. Havel stacked the boxes and allowed Hannah to revisit the boxes to make sure she was happy with her creations. Once both artists are satisfied with the box tower creations, Havel casts the creations in bronze. The demand for cardboard boxes contributes to deforestation and habitat loss of species like the African grey parrot. The precarious appearance of the structures is a nod to the chaos of the past two years and the demise of our planet’s ecosystems. MORE

Kolaj Fest New Orleans is a multi-day festival & symposium about contemporary collage and its role in art, culture, and society, June 15-19, 2022.

KOLAJ FEST NEW ORLEANS WEBSITE

*****************************

Kolaj Magazine, a full color, print magazine, exists to show how the world of collage is rich, layered, and thick with complexity. By remixing history and culture, collage artists forge new thinking. To understand collage is to reshape one's thinking of art history and redefine the canon of visual culture that informs the present.

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[beardedmrbean]

Police have arrested and charged three people, including two Best Western hotel employees, for allegedly helping the suspects in last week's shooting at the Mall of America flee authorities. Denesh Raghubir, 21, Selena Raghubir, 23, and Delyanie Kwen-Shawn Arnold, 23, are each charged with one count of aiding an offender to avoid arrest, according to the criminal complaint.

Last Thursday, the Mall of America was placed on lockdown after shots were fired in what police called an "isolated incident" in the Bloomington, Minnesota, shopping center. Bloomington Police chief Booker Hodges said that there had been an altercation between two groups near the cash registers of the Nike store. One of the groups left, but then returned, and one person fired three shots into the store, Hodges said. No injuries have been reported.

During a press conference on Monday, Hodges identified the alleged shooter as 21-year-old Shamar Lark, who is being sought on suspicion of second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon, intentional discharge of a firearm and carrying a pistol without a permit in a public place, according to a criminal complaint filed in Hennepin County.

His alleged accomplice, 23-year-old Rashad May, is being sought on suspicion of aiding an offender to avoid arrest, court documents showed.

Hodges told reporters that Lark and May lost a fight involving multiple other people at a Nike store in the Mall of America. They later returned after May told Lark to shoot up the store, Hodges said, and Lark fired three shots into the crowded sneaker store before both men fled the scene.

The two then contacted Arnold and asked him for help to escape the mall following the shooting, Hodges said. Arnold then reached out to his girlfriend Selena Raghubir, an assistant general manager at a Best Western Hotel located near the mall, who sent her cousin Denesh, another employee at the hotel, to drive the hotel shuttle to an Ikea parking lot and pick up Lark and May, according to Hodges.

Denesh Raghubir then drove Lark and May to the Best Western, where Arnold picked them up and took them to a Bloomington home that he shares with Selena Raghubir, Hodges said.

Hodges said that Denesh lied to officers who had tracked the shuttle to the Best Western, making them believe the two suspects were still at the hotel after they had left. Police then placed the hotel on lockdown to search for Lark and May.

"We were there for a long time when we could have been looking for them," Hodges said.

The criminal complaint also alleges that "the assistance provided by Selena Raghubir, Denesh Raghubir and Arnold and the misinformation provided to police resulted in the flight of [the two men] and the interference in the investigation of the shooting at the Mall of America."

Lark and May remain on the run with nationwide warrants for their arrests. Police warned that anyone else who offers them aid would also be arrested.

"You cannot, in a free society, continue to enjoy all the freedoms that we have when you're gonna show a complete lack of respect for humanity by firing into a crowded mall store," Hodges said Monday. "We cannot tolerate that as a society."

On Monday, Best Western released a statement supporting the hotel's decision to fire the Raghubir cousins and said their actions do not represent their values.

"We are deeply saddened by the violence that took place at the Mall of America last week and our thoughts are with the Minneapolis community," the statement read. "Noting this hotel is independently owned and operated, we support the hotel's decision to immediately terminate the employees who were allegedly involved in this terrible event. The actions of these employees stand in stark contrast to our brand's values and the sense of community that is at the heart of our hotel family."

#nunyas news #that was monumentally stupid #you can conceivably be charged #in the death of that person now #conspiracy after the fact

[mooshymello]

I WANNA HEAR MORE ABOUT YOUR OCS

omg its happening I'm being asked about my ocs-

so these 2 are tovanni and ezran, Tova is mine and Ezran is my writer wife Addie’s💖 we did an rp with them during lockdown and haven’t been able to put them down since

I mentioned this briefly, but they go to a magical academy called Lunavishire. Tovanni TaChauer is a mostly-human witch who comes from high magic society. Her family is old money and owns a company selling bottled enchantments, the modern, commercialized version of fairy godmothers. She’s spent more time in boarding and magic prep schools than she has with her parents, being shown off at any number of events to be the prodigy heiress of the TaChauer legacy, sure to lead the company towards a bright future.

Tova wants to open a flower shop.

Of course, she tells nobody until she meets Ez. Ezran Lee Grey is a giant from the normal world who inherited magic from his late mother. His dad isn’t magic, but runs a creature care facility with witches who teach Ez about it. Ezran rooms with Tova at Lunavishire (omg they were roommates :0), where he’s going to formally practice magic for the first time and hopefully open his own facility someday. Since he didn’t grow up in the highly competitive magic world, he feels a little out of place, on top of being naturally shy. He’s the sweetest ever I adore him with my entire heart

The OG story takes place during the Penumbral Solstice, a season when magic is stronger. Lunavishire requires all students to use the extra magic for an end-of-term demonstration. For her project, Tova tries an old spell meant to summon a familiar. Unfortunately, she did the spell in her room while ez was there, and instead of binding her familiar, she bound with him, so now neither of them can get too far from the other without extreme pain. The spellbook tova was following turns out to have been for black magic, and they’d get expelled if anyone found out. The story follows them trying to undo the curse, falling in love, almost dying at least 3 times, and passing their finals😊

The pictures I’ve posted on this account are from an AU/rewrite where tova is more of a pretentious asshole bc when we wrote the OG the only character I knew how to write was ‘socially awkward goofball’, which didn’t leave a lot of room to develop. plus assholes are fun to write😈 in that version Tova is a magic duelist, and it's more a fake dating +enemies to lovers situation since tova has *ahem* a certain reputation and there's no other reason she would hang out around this nobody if they weren't hooking up (and that's easier to explain than being cursed)

I don’t think I’d ever post the full OG story bc its 650+ pages of unedited RP, but I maybe I'll post some of the one shots I’ve written of them? Thanks for letting me rant about my ocs!!!

#g/t #ezran #tova #ez and tova #giant and tiny #this ask made my day <3 #oc talk #answering asks

[roamnook]

NEW STUDY: 80% of Gen Z favors remote work over traditional office settings. Data reveals a significant shift in workplace preferences. Check out the findings now.

RoamNook Blog

The Power of Numbers: Unveiling the Impact of Technology

Welcome to RoamNook's exclusive blog! In this article, we delve into the fascinating world of technology, unveiling key facts, hard information, numbers, and concrete data that will surely leave you amazed. Whether you are a tech enthusiast, a business owner, or someone curious about the latest trends, hold on tight as we take you on a journey through the impactful realm of digital innovation.

1. The Ever-Expanding Digital Landscape

In today's rapidly evolving world, technology plays an indispensable role in shaping our society. It is estimated that over 4.7 billion people use the Internet worldwide, accounting for more than 60% of the global population. The proliferation of smartphones and other connected devices has significantly contributed to this growth, revolutionizing the way we communicate, work, and consume information.

Furthermore, the number of active websites continues to soar, reaching a staggering 1.83 billion as of September 2021. This immense digital landscape presents both challenges and opportunities for businesses seeking to thrive in the online realm.

2. The Rise of E-Commerce

In recent years, e-commerce has experienced exponential growth, driven by changing consumer behavior and advancements in technology. In 2020 alone, global e-commerce sales surpassed $4.2 trillion, with projections indicating further steep upward trajectories. The outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic accelerated this trend, as lockdown measures prompted consumers to adopt online shopping as a preferred method.

By leveraging the power of digital marketing, businesses can tap into this colossal market, expanding their reach and driving revenue growth. As pioneers in the field, RoamNook specializes in providing IT consultation, custom software development, and digital marketing services, enabling businesses to thrive in the competitive e-commerce landscape.

3. The Data Revolution

Data has become the lifeblood of modern business operations. Every action we take online generates a vast amount of data, which when analyzed, yields valuable insights that can drive strategic decision-making.

Consider this: an astounding 2.5 quintillion bytes of data are created every day, and this figure is expected to further increase with the continued growth of the Internet of Things (IoT). Furthermore, 90% of the world's data has been generated in just the past two years. These mind-boggling statistics underscore the importance of harnessing the power of data in today's digital landscape.

At RoamNook, we understand the significance of data-driven decision-making. Our team of experts excels in implementing cutting-edge analytics solutions, providing businesses with the ability to derive actionable insights and gain a competitive edge.

4. The Impact of Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is revolutionizing industries across the globe, transforming the way we live and work. From autonomous vehicles to voice assistants, AI-powered technologies have become an integral part of our daily lives. The potential of AI is staggering, with projections indicating that AI technologies could contribute up to $15.7 trillion to the global economy by 2030.

RoamNook embraces the power of AI, offering state-of-the-art solutions that leverage machine learning algorithms, natural language processing, and computer vision. By harnessing AI technologies, businesses can automate processes, enhance customer experiences, and make data-driven decisions like never before.

5. The Inevitability of Cybersecurity

As our reliance on technology grows, so does the importance of robust cybersecurity measures. Cyberattacks have become a significant global concern, with businesses falling victim to ever-evolving threats. In 2020 alone, it is estimated that cybercrime cost businesses over $1 trillion.

RoamNook places cybersecurity at the forefront, assisting organizations in safeguarding their digital assets. Our team of certified experts implements advanced security protocols, conducts vulnerability assessments, and provides comprehensive solutions to fortify digital infrastructures.

Conclusion: The Future is Now

In conclusion, the digital revolution is transforming the way we live and work. With the ever-expanding digital landscape, the rise of e-commerce, the data revolution, the impact of artificial intelligence, and the inevitability of cybersecurity, it is clear that embracing technology is not an option but a necessity.

At RoamNook, we are dedicated to fueling digital growth. Through our innovative IT consultation, custom software development, and digital marketing services, we equip businesses with the tools they need to thrive in this fast-paced digital era.

Are you ready to revolutionize your business? Visit RoamNook today and embark on a transformative journey. The future awaits!

Source: https://www.globenewswire.com/news-release/2024/03/11/2843854/0/en/Demand-for-Mobile-Application-Testing-Solutions-Increasing-with-Smartphone-User-Base-The-Global-Mobile-Application-Testing-Solution-Market-Value-to-near-US-32-billion-by-2034-end.html&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjRruvo3J6FAxVON1kFHQ_yBEUQxfQBegQIBhAC&usg=AOvVaw2nSCXgex117XItz-IJVHB4

[frnwhcom]

Resilience in the Face of Crisis: Navigating the Multifaceted Impact of the COVID-19 Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic, which swept across the globe in early 2020, brought about unprecedented challenges that reshaped society in profound ways. The introduction of lockdowns and quarantines, essential for curbing the spread of the virus, had wide-reaching effects on various aspects of human life, from the economy and healthcare to education and mental health. This article explores the multifaceted impact of the COVID-19 lockdowns and quarantine measures on society during 2020. Economic Impact The economic consequences of the pandemic were immediate and severe. Businesses, especially small and medium enterprises, faced significant challenges, with many forced to shut down permanently. The travel and hospitality sectors were among the hardest hit due to travel restrictions and social distancing measures. Unemployment rates soared as companies laid off employees in response to diminished demand and operational restrictions. Governments worldwide launched stimulus packages to mitigate the economic fallout, but the road to recovery remained arduous for many. Healthcare System Overload Healthcare systems around the globe were overwhelmed by the sudden influx of COVID-19 patients. Hospitals ran out of beds, medical supplies, and personal protective equipment (PPE), placing immense pressure on healthcare workers. The focus on COVID-19 also disrupted regular healthcare services, including routine check-ups, elective surgeries, and treatment for other diseases, leading to a secondary health crisis. Education Disruptions The education sector faced significant disruptions due to the closure of schools and universities. The shift to online learning highlighted the digital divide, with students from disadvantaged backgrounds struggling to access the necessary technology and internet connectivity. The lack of face-to-face interaction and structured learning environments impacted students' academic performance and social skills, raising concerns about long-term educational outcomes. Mental Health Crisis The isolation, uncertainty, and economic hardships brought on by the lockdowns led to a surge in mental health issues. Many people experienced increased levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. The restrictions on social gatherings and closure of public spaces limited coping mechanisms for stress, exacerbating mental health problems. Mental health services, already stretched thin before the pandemic, struggled to meet the growing demand for support. Social and Cultural Changes The pandemic and subsequent lockdowns accelerated changes in social behavior and cultural norms. Remote work became the norm for many, reshaping perceptions of work-life balance and prompting discussions about the future of office work. The crisis also spurred innovation in technology, with the rise of virtual meetings, online shopping, and digital health services. Community solidarity emerged as a positive outcome, with people coming together to support frontline workers and vulnerable populations. The COVID-19 lockdowns and quarantine measures in 2020 had a profound impact on society, touching every aspect of life. While the challenges were significant, this period also demonstrated humanity's resilience and capacity for adaptation. The pandemic underscored the importance of preparedness, flexibility, and community support in facing global crises. As the world continues to navigate the aftermath of COVID-19, the lessons learned during 2020 will undoubtedly influence future policies and societal norms. Read the full article

[psychreviews2]

Mindfulness: Letting go

Replacements

After completing the Freud series I was thinking a lot about how difficult it is for people to change, and I especially was thinking a lot about 'The Wolfman,' on his inability to move on and become an agent in his own life. One can be stuck in helplessness or in a victim mentality like he was for the rest of his life. Sergei Pankejeff in his later years talked about Freud's suggestion that patients must make the choice to get better. One of the ways of doing that Freud hinted in his review of Serge was the value of concentration. So much of Positive Psychology confirms that Flow states don't happen without persistent absorption. You basically have to string together one immersive task after another without too many long breaks between activities where depression and boredom can derail the momentum.

'The Wolfman' Pt. 3: https://rumble.com/v1gulsf-case-studies-the-wolfman-33-freud-and-beyond.html

Freud also talked about remorse and paying attention to desires where one can organize them based on priority. Some pleasures are poor replacements for greater desires that people find more satisfying and blameless in the long-term. Desire is a dangerous thing because if what it wants isn't available, it immediately pushes for a short-term replacement, and they are often of lesser value. Also, if you desire something that hurts oneself and or others, pleasure quickly turns into pain. Another problem is having people openly talk about how people should behave. It can easily lead to hypocrisy since normal patterns of human behaviour show that people don't follow their own rules. The mind can disagree with itself even while it's being didactic about "shoulds." It's easier to give advice than follow it. Following "shoulds" can also be inauthentic because people are only motivated by getting praise and avoiding blame. In Freudian language, it's to satisfy the Super-ego and to reinforce repression against Id desires and Ego targets for satisfaction. In other words, people behave differently only because they feel they are being watched. As soon as they are in a private life, which isn't as private anymore, the old habits return.

The Ego and the Id - Sigmund Freud: https://rumble.com/v1gvdo1-the-ego-and-the-id-sigmund-freud.html

Freud then naturally looked at desires and saw that excessive repression was very damaging and it could lead to all kinds of psychological problems like depression, and maladaptive defense mechanisms. The goal was to learn how to discharge pleasure in a way that is reciprocal and reduces remorse. Yet, it's been decades since Freud died, but his questions are still important since COVID19 lockdowns disrupted the economy. Lost jobs and crushed dreams make people precisely look for replacements. Of course, this can happen during normal times, but especially so when there is a crisis and people are depressed. Twelve-step groups point out experiences of HALT, or Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired as typical precursors for an impulse to get something addictive as a replacement.

A brief search of DSM-5 addictions shows a wide variety of options: Alcohol, Tobacco, Opioids, Prescription drugs, Cocaine, Marijuana, Amphetamines, Hallucinogens, Inhalants, PCP, and many more. Addictions can also include behavioural ones: Gambling, Kleptomania, Pyromania, Food, Sex, Pornography, Playing video games, Surfing the net, and Shopping. There are also healthier types of addictions that can be rewarded in society: Workaholism, Excessive Exercise, and Spiritual Obsessions. Even pain itself can be addictive if the person is looking for the relief that happens after a behaviour like Cutting for example.

Lost Souls - Doves: https://youtu.be/dxAilm72Y4M

Many people go through one or more addictions in their lives and it creates a stigma where the person is essentially labeled based on their addiction. Much like how most names are based on some activity, work, or source of pleasure, one can be labeled permanently that way. It's like your last name changed. It's like being named Miranda Cokehead, or James Workaholic. People often don't change precisely because they take in those external labels and continue on the same behaviour patterns, along with low self-esteem. Any compassionate methods of change have to help people find a way out of these labels. Part of the problem is that society requires people to be pure, yet if you're pure, you don't need development. In reality, nobody is pure. Learning from psychopaths and narcissists, especially in person, the purity game is what they are about and they know how to dress the part and manipulate leverage. This is why they end up shocking people when they become your boss, or they marry you. You finally see the other side. But then it's too late and it takes years to extricate yourself from their sphere of influence.

The problem with labels is that they are usually misleading and don't predict future behaviour changes. Labels are only accurate if behaviour continues, but are detrimental and can trigger relapses when people have made strides towards improvement only to be shamed for past behaviour again. For example, a stigmatized person feels lonely, like part of the acronym HALT, and then looks for addictive replacements: a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Some people even want these patterns to continue because they make money off of them. If you look at the list above, a lot of our economy depends on these addictions, especially consumerism. Moderation with some of the above activities, especially behavioural ones aren't attacked by psychologists as much, but when a person's life is devoured by a single activity, then it's considered an addiction. Certainly working and exercising are healthier choices and it won't be noticed that something's wrong until a person realizes they don't know their kids, or that their excessive exercise has caused an injury.

What all these substances or activities have in common is a need to regulate emotions. How we are typically conditioned in our society is to take any bad feelings, especially stress and boredom, and to find some substance or activity that relieves anxiety, even if only there are temporary results. The problem of course is that the mind requires ever more intense substances or activities to create a reward large enough to stave off boredom, which is called tolerance. Also painful withdrawal symptoms, a biological response to the lack of the substance, propels people to keep on the addiction treadmill.

Being shameless is good for you - Marisa Peer: https://youtu.be/PBg7iSdDZBM

Healthy nihilism

Naturally, people turn to things like meditation because of all the talk of Letting Go, and all the promises of change. But even in meditation practice, the mind quickly co-opts the practice and continues in the same direction of habits and people often don't approach that tipping point of change. With Psychoanalysis, one can piece together a developmental past and there is some relief in knowing one's influences, causes, and effects. "I am this way because of these past events...I felt like garbage so I looked for replacements." Grieving about past mistakes, or missed opportunities can discharge affect by allowing oneself to feel remorse completely. When the grieving is exhausted the emotions are free to exercise more choice. Deep meditation can also banish that sense of lack for periods at a time.

All these psychological modalities help to deal with self-stigma at a basic level so that the person can still enjoy their addictions with less self-attacking, and hopefully, they may moderate their consumption, but maybe not. It's commonly called a Nihilism phase that people find very common in a person's meditation practice. There are many beautiful experiences that one can attain with Jhanas, and as the Super-ego judging begins to recede from consciousness, one can be free to enjoy conventional life without caring what people think and also what one thinks of oneself.

Concentration and mindfulness can also enhance common pleasures in life. For example, mindfulness helps to eliminate distractions when one is trying to enjoy something. The book Savoring by Bryant and Veroff talks about this benefit of being able to eliminate "Killjoy thinking." Many of us have been there where we create our own unhappiness with mental talk. Mental talk is really important because most of it is not exactly pleasant. Most mental chatter is actually one form or another of judging or complaining. Judgment releases stress, so endless judging means endless stress, and it's self-inflicted. Some good examples of negative talk the book provides involve ruining a vacation.

I was so homesick.

I worried that I would run out of money.

I took too many drugs.

The trip wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.

I drank too much.

Collapse - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/SqayDnQ2wmw

The Big Lebowski - The Dude meets Bunny: https://youtu.be/upUjNZRAapQ

On the positive side of nihilism, and when circumstances and the environment are cooperating, one can enjoy activities with a quiet mind and no distractions. Like in my Heraclitus video, being one with the environment and learning to appreciate can make mundane experiences become filled with a sense wonder. This comes from comparing what exists to non-existence. We didn't have to be born, and opportunities like these don't have to exist right now. In the book, they called this comparison pleasure Marveling. Some other verbs they list include basking, which is reflecting on accomplishments, and luxuriating which is enjoying physical pleasure. Luxuriating is a reminder that we do get pleasure from pleasant thoughts, but we don't want concepts to crowd out the actual experiences themselves. It's so hard to enjoy things as adults precisely because we are habitually thinking about experiences instead of actually experiencing them. It's nice to just engage in the activity and let psychological rewards happen naturally.

Heraclitus - https://youtu.be/15JZXiHsD6A

I talked about the vacation with my friends.

I took a lot of photos.

I bought gifts to bring back for other people.

I thought about how much better it was than just sitting at home.

I just went along with what was happening one day at a time.

I replayed the highlights in my mind over and over again.

Savoring was such a nice book in that you could turn to any page and find something useful. Positive Psychology books often need more examples and fewer reminders that we should try to be happy. We already know that, so what are some recommendations?

Choose experiences where there's a lower chance of failure.

Reduce distractions.

Focus your attention more on what is excellent.

Learn a skill well enough so that fear of failure decreases when using it.

Recount positive stories.

Add variety to experiences.

Add gaps in pleasure to avoid spoiling and psychological tolerance.

Share experiences with others which creates bonding and shared memories.

Enjoy pleasurable activities after going through stressful experiences.

Rehearse or journal highlights so they can be recalled later.

Compare poor experiences to even poorer ones. "Things could've been worse."

Plan experiences to reduce obstacles. Planning has a side benefit in that it also creates a pleasure in anticipating.

Celebrate important events.

Become engrossed in activities with mindfulness.

Count your blessings.

Chain positive experiences with each other. Eg. A good vacation, but an even better romance.

Planning activities that all participants can enjoy.

Remind oneself of impermanence and the limited time we all have.

Find meaningful associations. Eg. Learning something meaningful while attending a museum. Learning spiritual insights that you can take home with you.

Don't force savoring experiences with those negative judgmental thoughts. Let flavours and sensations happen and pass away naturally. Not all experiences are 100% intense and excellent. Glide with the ebb and flow by relaxing any psychological pushing or pulling. Slowing down to pay attention helps, but trying to make the sensations and flavours last longer is just another judgmental stress release that pollutes the experience. The self controls with pushing and pulling. Reminding oneself that pushing and pulling won't make flavours last longer also helps one to enjoy letting go. It's an inverse pleasure of an absence of stress. "I don't have to make it last longer."

Ibiza Spliff - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/NoRB6zN3ZbY

As one begins to learn about Positive Psychology and get some wisdom about how it works, there's a natural tendency to want to control life so that it conforms with happiness more. The book suggests that the social aspect can't be ignored, and negative social experiences can mar your pleasure.

Find people where enjoying pleasure around them isn't a problem.

Free yourself from activities that involve social and esteem concerns.

Give priority to close relationships.

There are also individual preconditions for savoring.

Focus on the present.

Enhance attentional focus on a positive experience.

Take control of your time.

Seek activities that engage your skills.

Become more physically active.

Get an adequate amount of sleep.

Include humor.

Journal your experiences.

What isn't highlighted in the book, or in any Buddhism that I have been taught, is that the general public has a common sense understanding that when people have many experiences as described above, it's hard for people in old age to say that they haven't lived when their life story has so many highlights. One can't do everything, but if one has done a lot, a natural thankfulness can emerge. No matter what anyone says, or is too jealous to admit, a life full of savoring is very good.

[Slo]w early morning clissold sunrise - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/eCFn4c1QpTM

Letting go

Where spirituality can have some points against the above pleasures is the clinging and addiction we can encounter when life gets out of balance. This is especially true when only one pleasure is emphasized over all others. It can be a problem that was long-standing for a yogi and has to be faced. Even if we enjoy alcohol, cigars, food or whatever else we like, there can be a problem with the advice above to focus on positive experience and to ignore negative experiences. You can even see a hint of it in some of the suggestions to plan to reduce the chances of negative experiences interfering with activities. You couldn't achieve that without some perception of negativity. In Buddhism, imagination and anticipation can actually be used to help practitioners gain some counterintuitive pleasures related to letting go. It's the desire for peace beyond sensual pleasure.

The late Rob Burbea had some great suggestions, and certainly, my prior video on Jhanas is a good place to start for many. We emotionally feed, and as Freud described, there is constant pressure from the Id to feed. This is partially the reason for hypocrisy because any principles people make for themselves will be subject to that libido/craving pressure. The pleasure experienced in meditation is a form of emotional feeding, except you didn't ingest any substances or engaged in any process addictions that constantly want setups and payoffs. One could use the acronym HALT and see if consistent attention to the breath with few gaps, lots of scanning the body for tension, and relaxing it, can regulate the emotions enough so that substances and process activities aren't needed. Meditation of course can take longer than a substance, but persistence here for a few minutes is often enough. Self-retreats for an hour or more can replace TV and other scatterbrained internet activities so that the brain achieves success in draining tension. When the brain is emotionally satisfied, letting go happens naturally. It's kind of like making sure you eat a meal before going shopping where food cravings would lead to restaurants, maybe alcohol, and bigger bills.

There is also the benefit of reduced conflict. If I don't have to compete for pleasure against other people, because the breath is inherently mine, and I'm going to breathe anyways, then the A part of HALT is also taken care of. Like most pleasures, we want to defend against someone else getting them, but instead, we can protect our concentration from conditioned thoughts that chip away at the benefits.

"When we talk about samadhi, that’s almost by definition a nourishing state: I’m just going to hang out in this field, in this bubble, and make it nice and warm and just as comfortable as can be, and just dwell in that, let myself rest in that and be nourished by it. Often we grasp at things and we can’t let go because our level of nourishment, the reservoir is too low... Even if it feels completely futile, over time that muscle gets – we get better at just dropping and returning. So to have faith in that. It’s kind of very, very simple."

The Jhanas: https://rumble.com/v1gqznl-the-jhanas.html

Emotional Feeding: https://rumble.com/v1gqvl1-emotional-feeding-thanissaro-bhikkhu.html

The Ego and the Id: https://rumble.com/v1gvdo1-the-ego-and-the-id-sigmund-freud.html

Rob also liked to use timelines. You're going to return to that normal state no matter what you get or achieve in the future. It's already here. Just make the trip in your mind. "We get caught in wanting this thing or that thing or this thing to unfold or that person or whatever it is, and how many times have we been through this before? How many times has it really satisfied us? So sometimes a little bit of reflection: what is this thing, what is getting this thing really going to give me? Am I really going to be fulfilled getting it? Sometimes it’s a matter of going deeper into what I want: is this thing what I really want? Do I even really want it? I’m so caught up there, but is that really what I want? What I deeply want? And recognizing it’s not what I really deeply want, there can be more ease in letting go. Sometimes it’s remembering how often in the past we’ve got what we wanted but...it ended up not being quite what we had imagined it might be before we got it. Almost always, things turn out differently than what we think. So it’s like, just bring that wisdom at the starting instead of at the end."

Many of us already have life experiences we can turn to when joining a practice like this, so it's a good reminder that we tend to return to old habits many times before a perceivable change occurs. Realistically, many people will still act on their wanting, depending on how strong their habits are, and how weak their practice is. Each individual brain is different. To move further for many people, it requires that they add more negative detail that no one wants to look at. It's a practice that many in the west try to avoid, which is to actually look for disgust and downsides to our pleasures. In Pure and Simple, Upasika Kee Nanayon makes it pure and simple indeed.

"The first requirement when you come to practice is that you need to be the sort of person who loves the truth and you need to have endurance to do what's true. Only then will your practice get anywhere. Otherwise, it all turns into failure and you go back to being a slave to your defilements and cravings just as before. When you don't contemplate yourself, how much suffering do you cause for yourself? And how much do you cause for others? These are things we should contemplate as much as we can. If we don't, we keep trying to get, get, get. We don't try to let go, to put things aside, to make any sacrifices at all. We just keep trying to get, for the more we get, the more we want...If you're going to let go of anything, you first have to see its drawbacks. If you just tell yourself to let go, let go, the mind won't easily obey. You really have to see the drawbacks of the thing you're holding onto, and then the mind will let go, of its own accord. It's like grabbing hold of fire: When you feel the heat, you let go of your own accord and will never dare grasp it again."

Stop eating roadkill - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/200806_Stop_Eating_Roadkill.mp3

Adjust the flame - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/200916_Adjust_the_Flame.mp3

Where your mind gravitates - Thanissaro Bhikkhu: https://www.dhammatalks.org/Archive/y2020/201019_Where_Your_Mind_Gravitates.mp3

Spiritual Bypassing: https://rumble.com/v1gpm57-spiritual-bypassing-and-inner-bonding.html

It's better to welcome the impulse, but instead of acting, only act in the imagination. The mind swirls around pleasurable details, and as expected, it ignores negative details. The swirling creates pressure to act. To move the imagery towards realistic details of costs, health consequences, and potential conflicts can turn off the craving. When the internal conflict ends, the dualism ironically allows one to regain mental peace and relax in Oneness again.

The great thing about disenchantment is that it's an authentic feeling. Instead of mimicking someone else's judgment in a Super-ego, you are following the imagery of yourself going through the pleasure-procedures and feeling the pain as if it happened to you in concrete reality. We react to fake movies, why not make realistic documentaries in your mind instead? This time you're changing not because someone told you to. People are not readily going to give you validation and a pat on the back, which is ultimately not a stable reward. Deep down the wishes and desires are trying to take out of the environment what it wants to, regardless of whether reality has enough to support those wishes. The mind can push and pull against reality, building up a sense of self in the background. "It's hard to see the drawbacks of sensual passion, but even harder to see the drawbacks of more subtle things, like your sense of self."

One of the great explainers of how to see through the sense of self is Adyashanti. One of his tests is to let go of being for or against anything and watch the mental noise decrease with equanimity. It's like a radio where the volume control can turn up or down depending on how much resistance there is. This clinging, the sense of self, is also a sensation and has to be accounted for in the cause and effect of sensations that we note in our mindfulness practice. "Somehow we've came to this conclusion, that where there is a sense of self, a sense of me, that there actually is a Me." Seeing the self as a sensation disidentifies from it because it's seen by the same awareness that notices other sensations, though albeit with more complexity that needs to be deconstructed for the different ways the self arises in thoughts and feelings. Instead of a self here noting an experience over there, all experiences can be noticed, including the Ego play-acting as a meditator. Cause and effect involve what we include as self which pushes/pulls/resists/is for, or is against, what is. The pushing and pulling, against what is very difficult or impossible to control, is what makes the intense solid sense of self. Controlling makes the sense of a Controller, but this sense of solidity is in fact a moving target that increases in tension as it resists what's here, or recedes into the background when it surrenders. Instead of a self manipulating a marionette body, the efforting, strategizing, planning, and controlling part of the mind is a natural part of the cause and effect of the Universe. The sense of separation comes from the thought construct of ME, self-measurement, and a projected self through time.

"It would almost be like...somebody spraying perfume without you even knowing it...Let's say you smell...roses...and almost immediately your first conclusion [would be] 'where are the roses?' You look around and you expect to find a dozen roses...and then you don't find [them] and then relatively quickly you realize, there are no actual roses, there's just the scent of roses." Noticing the self-belief instead as a sensation dissipates the illusion of a solid controller, which relaxes over-efforting that has always been connected with that old belief. The irony is that when you let go of the sense of a separate self, it allows you to be yourself more fully. Self-sensations are finally included with all other sensations that awareness is aware of. With letting go, human emotions are allowed, including humility, without a sense that one has to be a pure person.

Cornish Spreek5b [St. Nectan S Glen Waterfalls Mix] - Aphex Twin: https://youtu.be/H6yPLpfaGQI

Resources:

Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience - Bryant and Veroff: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780805851205/

Of Hermits and Lovers: The Alchemy of Desire - Rob Burbea and Catherine McGee: https://dharmaseed.org/retreats/3383/

Pure and Simple - Upasika Kee Nanyon: https://www.isbns.net/isbn/9780861717514/

Tracy, N. (2012, January 12). Types of Addiction: List of Addictions, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2020, September 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/addictions-information/types-of-addiction-list-of-addictions

Adyashanti - August 26, 2020 - https://youtu.be/heW7w3cQtDk

Contemplative Practice: http://psychreviews.org/category/contemplativepractice/

#psychology #positive psychology #meditation #buddhism

[itseasyhavinpals]

I Don't Think I Can Help It

Sort of missing the lockdown these days. All that's left of those unprecedented months is the Fear. I was very fortunate to not have to worry much during the lockdown. Sure I was terrified, but there was also this sort of bizarre magic too. Taking walks through rainy days, getting lost in music and thought. Sitting outside and, for a whole afternoon, just watching the shadows shift with the sun until it dipped below the horizon.

I was thrust back into a more ancient and true way of life. The work necessary was to get food and keep my space clean, and the rest of my time was for Being. I wasted plenty of it numbing out the terrifying truth of the history being made, sure, and I also spent lots of it feeling an immense amount of peace too. In the way peace sneaks up on you, in the in-between moments.

Everything's gone "back to normal" except it keeps getting worse. Every masked face makes me feel guilty and afraid. Every audible cough and sniffle makes me feel angry and afraid. Every mask I wear makes me feel protected and suffocated.

The solidarity is gone, no one is clapping and banging pots and pans at seven in the evening anymore. It doesn't feel like there's much keeping us together, there's not much to remind us we're all in the same boat. We're all just fighting to survive in a society stacked against us.

Now our shared experience puts us at each other's throats. Everyone vying for the most superior moral high ground, posting their humble-brags online and selling their results as attainable.

Grind harder. Master your side gig. Eat cleaner. Stay woke. Stay young. Reduce waste; upcycle. Stay fashionable. Stay hydrated. Get sexy; stay sexy. Produce. Make money. Save money. Cancel your subscriptions. Make sure to subscribe. Buy this. Do the right thing. Always. Or else.

I think that's why I love snow days so much. It's nobody's fault, no one's responsibility, so we find it easier to take responsibility: we salt and shovel the sidewalks, we push each other's cars out of their icy prisons, we feed each other and check in on each other and dig each other out. And we understand when the shops are closed, and we go on walks to watch the snow.

After our last snow fall, the weather got unseasonable warm very quickly. It feels like Spring's upon us in mid-winter.

Not that I don't love the sunshine, but everything in my body seems to scream that something's off. At a time where one's very existence feels like a juxtaposition. When too many options leads to paralyzation, and our own fate feels like it's out of our hands, but it's up to us to save the world.

How are we meant to survive this?

The sheer power of pure, human resilience can only provide me with so much hope and comfort.

Mister Rogers said to look for the helpers. I know they're out there. Behind every helper, though, is a crumbling society necessitating the help. Or at least that's what I feel. So many of the helpers I perceive seems less like help and more like a mad scramble to momentarily tip the scales in our humble favor.

Though, I'm absolutely certain this perspective is swayed by my hours hours upon hours on the internet. When I look up from it for a moment, the world gets smaller, and the helpers I see are strangers holding doors open for each other; friends giving each other rides; people letting people pet their dogs; buying each other coffee; returning lost items; giving directions; picking up dropped things; putting a good word in; looking out for each other; dropping off supplies; helping each other up.

It's the day-to-day helpers that makes me feel like maybe life's worth living.

My world is definitely far too big when I spend a lot of time online. Inundated with the thoughts, opinions and experiences of other people, there's no room for my thoughts, opinions and experiences. Initially there's comfort in drowning myself out, but then I get stuck in the fray of all the news and compilations and reviews and video essays and how-tos and story times and break downs and hauls and get-ready-with mes and information and instructions and parodies and clips and previews and interviews until the very act of scrolling happens so fast I literally make myself dizzy.

And then I pivot, hard, into simplicity and quiet until the vibration of my own voice in my skull becomes alarming and disruptive, and the whole cycle begins again.

I'm disgusted by it. I give myself whiplash with these massive dips in quality of life caused by whatever mental, emotional, hormonal flux I'm experiencing, followed by panic induced lifestyle overhauls that never stick.

I think we're sold the myth of true balance, the myth of one right way to be, and how to feel good. What to strive for; what success looks like. And I buy into it. Maybe if I tried the latest viral health challenge, or gave myself more rules, or followed one plan or another, or read this self-help book I'd feel better.

For someone who really doesn't like being told what to do, I really do a lot of asking of others to tell me what to do. I already know what I'm going to do, though, it's true. I think a lot of the time, what I know I'm going to do, and what I actually want to do are vastly different things.

I seem to do a lot of resigning myself to myself, until most of what's left is disappointment.

I might be driving myself crazy, and I don't think I can help it.

But I just want to feel better. 

#my writing #prose #essay #read

[anicefishoutofthewater]

I wanted to share a personal thought of mine regarding little acts of kindness and how no matter how small it is it can change a person for the better. For context, my parents were firm believers that you don't need to teach children how to be kind and how to have empathy because " kids are pure and they are just born like that so if you're not you were just born a shitty person" and also that you shouldn't trust anyone because they will betray you. I was severely neglected as a child and growing up separated from society most of that time I had a tremendously hard time relating to other people, which led me to be an insensitive brat who severely mistrusted other human beings. It's with a lot of humility that I admit that I was rude, mean and overall just a shitty person until I was twelve. Now there's where I wanted to get with this. I remember every act of kidness that was freely given to me all these years, pilling up little by little in my head, until there was no space left for all those ugly thoughts and beliefs that I once had. I see the world much differently in comparison to these primary years of my life. And God knows how hard and confusing it was for me to accept that people could be nice without wanting anything in return.

I remember that old lady who had a candy shop and would always try to teach five year old me how to count money. I would stand in front of her register, on the tip of my toes and show her all the money I had. " What can I get with this? " I would ask. And every single time, she would tell me all the products I could possibly buy, no annoyance expressed on her face, just fondness and patience that no one else had ever had the trouble to give me at the time. Then, just before I left, she would to try to teach me how to count money, with all the pennies she could find. I remember that boy from a school I once frequented, that even after I had been awfully mean to him after every attempt of his to be my friend ( I did not know how to make friends yet ) ran to give me a piece of his birthday cake, insisting with a smile that I should have it even after I ( terrified ) denied it multiple times. The cake was delicious.

I remember that man who gave me his seat on the plane without me or my mom even having to ask because he did not want to see a child separated from her mother on a airplane. I remember my teacher who would share his seedless grapes with me during class and wordlessly give a hug when he thought I was sad, no malice, just wanting all the kids to feel well in his class. The school principal who instead of yelling at me for refusing to participate in PE class, would take me to the library so I could read a fun book instead.

The barista who bought me my favorite tea when she saw the disappointment on my face when she said that cafe did not accept money only card. The woman who read to me on the first and only sleepover I've ever had. The anatomy teacher who made everyone sit on those bone-bending chairs because I was feeling sick from taking my medication and couldn't stand upright and she did not want me to feel left out. The mister who helped me take my heavy luggage to the hotel's lobby during lockdown.

The older girl who enthusiastically said yes after I asked if I could be her friend. She treated me like a sister and taught me how to be kind. I was ten and she was twenty. One of the best people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.

The ladies who talked to me while I was at the hospital, crying my heart out because I was a kid afraid of needles. The doctor who held my hand when I had to be given an anaesthetic for the first time.

The stranger who held an umbrella over my head when it was pouring outside. My best friend who would insist to have me call her in the middle of the night if I had a nightmare. All the workers who would give me an extra lot of their ice cream after they saw me crying, attempting to cheer me up.

I remember.

I remember these and so many more. I always write down all the nice things people did and said to me, because I don't want to forget. And I appreciate so much what all those strangers and friends gave me. For that I always try my best to be a better person, trying to be patient and considerate of other's feelings no matter what. I aspire to give the grace other people deserve to receive in return of all those little moments, just like it was given to me.

So really, every little thing matters.

#humanity #kindness #people can be wonderful #this is something that I think about a lot #I am so different today and I am sure I would be an awful human being if I had not been given those acts of kindness #childhood memories #neglect #fear of intimacy

[youantisocietysymbiont]

A PART OF THE SYSTEM

Now when we ask ourselves what it means to be a part of the system we say that every civilian is in the human database of the government. Well if that’s the case how deep does go?

For the government to be able to run a nation, run a world economy and control society; they must have been able to watch and experiment on society for the last fifty, seventy-five years. Why would I say those numbers of how many years?

Well when we go back when the end of WW2 the world nations had come together to not only put dictators and those who served under them on trial for their atrocities. But as well to the first ever world government/New World Order. They had made us think that forming this new world government was a good thing, to protect us from evil dictators like Hitler and Stalin. And also promising to never go into World Wars.

But as we know everyone is human including those in our government, which means people can change and everyone knows that power corrupts all. The government has used different events through the decades as simulations to experiment society and watch how we would react, why?

Because they can find ways to twist and manipulate how we think, what we eat and drink, through our culture and religions; how we spend our money. All this to set up what they are planning for humanities future,

What is humanities future? To be connected to the world government, how? Well one of the things is something they have been making and preparing for the last two decades is sticking microchips in every human being. These microchips are the size of rice and they can insert it into a syringe and inject it into the palm of your hand, painlessly.

Now you ask yourself what’s good about this chip? Well let’s start with your wallet you have your I.D., medical insurance card, car insurance, credit and debit cards, cash app or Venmo cards; cash all of this stuff will inside your chip. You will no longer have these cards or cash in hand physically anymore

So when the police or the doctors run information on you all they have to do is scan your hand and BAM your information pops up on their screens, then you ask it can be hacked right? Well not if their using technology where it is hack-proof. Then no.

But not only that stuff it can do, the chip can also unlock and lock doors to your house, your car or even at your office. The chip will become your security for places, Vehicles, even your phones. If you commit a crime it will track that persons move no matter where they go, even if they are on top of a mountain or in the middle of the ocean. That person will be found and will be caught.

So all this sounds too good to be true, but now the question is..what’s so bad about?

Well let’s begin with this, the central bankings are the rulers and so-called protectors not the government. And you what they are protecting, not your money. No. It’s their money, let’s say you have an eating habit of bad foods like fried food and sweets. Well with digital currency the central banks can control your digital wallet by limiting what you can spend on food.

Now that’s not so bad right, we’ll let’s say another covid lockdown happens and you can only go under 2 miles to shop for food. If you go over 2.5 miles then they will cancel your spending on your digital wallet to where you cannot use your money at all.

Think of all this as living in a nice, cozy so-called safe prison. Speaking of feeling safe here’s the kicker, you know how when a crime would happen against you and you’re the victim. You call the cops and use to take ten to twenty minutes for them to get too you. Now your on hold speaking with a computer cause your in line behind 2-300 people. Tell me how safe you feel now.

Or how about to protect the environment the computing program will control your digital wallet to control what you spend on when it comes to red meats, chocolate, plastic and aerosol cans. Why it’s to protect the environment and your well being.

This computing program is an A.I. that will control the central banking and how people spend their money. Where it’s not your money anymore but the governments. Your digital wallet will be accessed through a free app on your phone and they will even give you bonus money for just applying on there.

Now why would these powerful elites “the government” do something like this, it’s easy they are losing control of us and we the people are finding out who they really are. And what they really want from us and we’re starting to fight back. But their way of distracting us, keeping us at bay is doing things like deforming our morals, turning our culture into something dysphoria, or keeping us locked in our homes because a virus that they created and released into the world.

For decades they have been setting us up for this moment where they knew that someday they would lose control of things like society and our economy. Soon they will force us to accept the CBDC “Central Banking Digital Currency” because something bad happens to our environment or because we are in another Great Recession but it’s worse this time around.

Too understand things like the CBDC and how you belong to system works, you also need to know how things like political spectrums work..

There are five basic forms of government you have Monarchy, Oligarchy, Democracy, Republic and Anarchy. When we look at those you have far right for full government power and too far left is no government, dead middle is protecting the peoples rights. For Monarchy it is rule by one, Oligarchy is rule by a group, Democracy the proper amount of government is freedom, Republic for the government and the public and Anarchy is without government.

Though we are blessed to have Democracy but later on in time, that beautiful land of the free, home of the brave becomes diluted and manipulated. As Samual Adams use to say-

“Democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself.”

An empire that knew best at this rise and fall of Democracy was the Roman Empire which had a many of things of why it fell. Like the raise of taxes, dysphoria culture, mass immigration, lawless anarchy and traded freedom for security. Sounds familiar? How about countries like Europe and America that are following this path. As these great empires are slowly falling apart and soon they will fall. And if there is someone that hates losing money which means, losing power. They will do everything in their power to not lose it.

Now we are seeing politics spreading their power in different areas, one of the biggest transitions is in energy. As energy supply is the basis of our society, economy and wealth. Energy plays a huge role in political transition.

For example Europe imports 33% and in the same years even 40% of our gas demand from Russia, from one country. That’s not what we call a healthy situation. Europe currently needs two resources that are scare. It’s dependent on the rest of the world for oil and gas.

That’s why Lithium and other rare earth resources are the next major resources. But while countries like America and Europe need these resources they are also forced to play the game of competition. Who are their competitors? Russia, Iran, China and North Korea as they will work together in a new world order.

Chinas goal is to keep growing their energy and keep it from the outside world, so that the communist party can keep going. As China is poised to be the bigger competitor in energy, because of their high innovation.

But there are other competitors besides these countries, but they are against the lithium mines and they are the people. Protesting against this new age of colonialism warfare. But how lithium is extracted from these countries it includes human rights and all the other complicated conditions. Including recycling the batteries.

And yet Lithium is a critical resource where countries like Chile is the largest supplier of lithium so world would be 100% dependent on Chile. The green rush will create mines but also create pollution. Fossil fuel mining has destroyed the land and environment like Siberia.

As the world is moving faster towards change and transition into energy, the question now is the world ready for things like digital currency. China has already revealed to the world they will end cash, using crypto currency. The feds have already been looking into digital currency.

Most countries in the world are doing this, the U.S. is about to replace the dollar with digital currency. What most people understand about the CBDC that it will be attached to your I.D, and social credit. Giving the government technological power to control what their citizens spend money on.

You think the government is trust worthy and are here to protect us, well a study was shown that 20% of Americans don’t trust in the government comparing to back in 1968 when it was 73%. Don’t believe it as of last year an article showed that the IRS admits targeting conservatives for tax scrutiny back in 2012 election.

China has already been using social credit where literally if you do not support certain things that the government believe like communism than your social credit will go down. If you do things like stay on your cell phone for certain many hours they lower your social credit score.

114 countries, representing over 95 percent of global GDP, are exploring a CBDC. Though the people don’t CBDC, the government wants to stay ahead and they dive into the digital money currency. But financial currency becomes financial enslavement.

But when we ask ourselves how is society slaves to the system who really rules over us, who are the people that work inside of the new world order? They are the elites who are a mix of bankers, treasuries, politicians global leaders, people in law, business leaders, economists and secret society members. These are the people that rule our societies, culture and economy. They weave their way in and out of our busy lives to make it more complicated and addicting.

We wonder why anyone can’t get into the top, why everyone be happy and their dreams to come true. Because it doesn’t make money and if it exposes what the elites are doing they come down on you with the chariots of fire. And they will crucify you.

The new world order leaders have not been secretive of who they are, what they have in store for the future and everyone in it, and why they are going to do this.

Even in their history you can find where their new world organizations had started. If you look back in 1773 a professor named Kaneki tried to join with the free mason army but found it too costly, so he created a secret society of his own. He called it “The Covenant of Preventability” and in 1778 they changed their name too “The Illuminati” candidates are chosen and sent to positions like into law, business and government. But Christian’s, Jews, pagans,Women and monks were excluded. Favorites were young between 18-30, wealthy and willing to learn.

They also learned things like alchemy and science, Kaneki became a mediator and attracted the free masonry. But now today we wonder who are the new modern day Illuminati? Well it is WEF, EU and the UN you see these world organizations, world police, so-called peacekeepers have ruled the way everything works in the world.

These organizations have always played a role in changing how our society, economy and government works for decades. And their reason for this, is because they know best of what is right and wrong for our nations. We have seen this especially when the pandemic happened.

A SYSTEM OF CORRUPTION

“The government [took] coronavirus as he opportunity to demolish democratic space.” -Respondent from Cambodia

We live under a system of control and dysphoria over our society, turning it into a dark and confused reality. He new world over men has been lifted from the veil to where we can see it clearly. We may no who he individuals are, but we know heir roles, what they want from us and what they are going to do too our future. Society was pushed into the next level of simulation when the pandemic happened.

We saw this when China was flanged into months of intense police state actions of crackdowns upon journalists, its civilians with sever lockdowns to where everyone’s was literally barred inside their homes from coming out. They couldn’t even go to grocery stores to get food, their pets were taken from them and killed right in front of them. People were losing their minds to the point of jumping out of their windows and hundreds of thousands screaming out of their homes.

This was setting up a model look of what the future could look like for the rest of the world, or that’s what we all feared. As massive protests all around China was rising up with desperation for freedom. But anyone that showed resistance towards the communist government were black bagged and taken into camps. Never seen again.

Governments around the world were using the pandemic to create justification to have their way upon their people and use their super powers to re write the rules of law and destroy human rights in order to promote public health. They became dictators and were okay with it, saying what they were doing was to bring safety upon their country in order to kill the virus.

62% majority of respondents say they distrust what they are hearing about the pandemic from the national government in their country. These surveys complied are saying the idea of corruption is thriving one article says. Journalists that have been following this pandemic have been hunted down and black bagged, forced to be quiet about the crisis and most of all targeted with violence, harassment and intimidation. All part of control..why? Because it’s all apart the simulation experiment.

“The implant can be used to pay for a drink on the beach in rio, a coffee in New York, a hair cut in Paris or at your local grocery store.” Says founder and chief executive Wojtex Paprota

“It can be used wherever contactless payments accepted.” One article says

Imagine a device that is so powerful, more powerful then the internet filled with unlimited data. Your data. Is all inside a chip that is the size of a grain of rice, this has rumored to us for decades until now for the last 10 years it has been confirmed that the government will be releasing this to every citizen in every country. The question is, when?

The technology inside this chip and program is called WalletMors Chip, using field communication or NFC, which is a system that even our smart phones have. But it will be inside the palm of your hand using based radio frequency identification called RFID which is similar technology inside your debit and credit cards.

It’s really genius technology and engineering of the science. And for one survery from an article says that 51% of people in the UK would consider in implanting this chip inside their hand. Most disagree in the implant because of it being used as a tracking device when the respondents say that’s not the case and could not be tracked as it is similar to the internet. But everyone knows that you could pretty much find any information you want about anyone’s data on the internet from address, jobs, where their from, birthdate to their own I.D.

One article says that the reading distance is limited by the small antenna coil inside the implant. The implant needs to within the electromagnetic field of a compatible RFID reader.

As well the respondent says “There is a dark side to the technology that has a potential of abuse.” She says “Those with no love of individual freedom, it opens up seductive new vistas for control, manipulation and oppression.”

Conclusion

There is a system to all this so called, life. Everyone has their groups they are with. Doesn’t matter who you are, you can’t say their isn’t a group you don’t fall in too. Even if you run solo you still have opinions, you still have questions. Everyone in those group has favorites or think they do. In politics left or right if you follow their narrative you will fit right in too their system. Satan or god they have favorites, if you play well into their game you will be in ones eternity or the other.

Teachers and professors only work with what they call prodigies, the rest are just simulated NPC’s, peasants to them. They will give their part time of teaching, if you don’t support their ideas, politics and anti religion. To them your nothing, scum of the earth.

Yes, there is away to know this system and even away to cheat through it. Play pretend with their opinions, ideas and politics. Rise up the ranks and continue to waste away that empty cup, when you could really be doing some good in filling your cup up with some divinity. Following the truth, speaking out what’s right and wrong. Man has always followed the law which for awhile it brought balance, justice and honor. But in due time it killed itself because it never had meaning, their was no more good and evil, but evil and good. The good things in life became evil and fighting for good became ignorance. Freedom was ignorance.

Power became everything and that everything always led to money. God use to look like love and grace, when really it was the law why, because I guess since Adam and eves fall it seems to work. Without the law, civilizations have fallen, killing people has never been a new things, it’s always been there, people just got tired of losing loved ones to murderous criminals and most of the time would avenge them. Creating thousands of years of a line of bloodshed. That’s when the law and order came into the picture, it gave families the right of justice.

Something that’s interesting is that quote from the Bible, that god made us equal In his image, doesn’t matter what religion, political belief, slave or free. We are one in Christ. It maybe bullshit to people but we don’t realize that word “equal” has gotten us a free country to live in. Cause in most countries you wouldn’t have that luxury of freedom in your life. But democracy would in time kill itself. Even the fore fathers of America knew this would happened. This is the story of how when freedom dies…everything goes with it

Resources:

:YouTube:

—ILLUMINATI FULL MOVIE| DOCUMENTARY MOVIES| The Midnight Screening|

—The Feds Plan To End Our Money| CBDC| What You Need To Know

—The Coming Central Banking Digital Currency (CBDC)

—The Mark Of The Beast- Full Documentary

Articles:

—https://freedomhouse.org/report/special-report/2020/democracy-under-lockdown

—https://www.bbc.com/news/business-61008730

—https://devpost.com/software/how-ripple-cbdc-chip-implants-can-transform-your-life