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sweetrevxnge · 2 years

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Like Phantoms, Forever

Chapter Ten | Make Better Choices

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader

Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight. While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.

What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death

Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA

*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!

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Word count: 6.2k

Chapter-specific CW: NSFW content, oral sex (f receiving)

A/N: I can't believe we're already on chapter 10! I just wanted to say that this is the first fic I've ever written and I was so afraid to share it, so I am eternally grateful for all of your kindness and support! The story is really only getting started and I'm more excited than ever to share it with you guys ♡

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The tile was cool against your back, yet still not cold enough to ease the acid churning in your stomach, threatening to spill over. Anxiety consumed you, each thought racing by like stars passing at hyperspeed. Despite the humidity, your mouth was completely arid, your throat knocking as you attempted to swallow your heartbeat rising in your throat.

This can’t actually be happening, can it? This has to be some sort of waking nightmare, an extremely vivid one at that.

The woman who you considered to be your best friend—if you could even call her that anymore—bumping into the man whose dick you had just gagged on. The same man who was apparently her sworn enemy here at the Academy. All of this chaos unfolding just meters away from you as you clung to a shower wall, desperately hoping your presence would go unnoticed.

Truly, there was no worse punishment for your illicit affair than whatever circle of hell you were currently enduring.

“Ben? What the hell are you doing here?” she asked in what could only be described as the most bile-inducing cadence. There was such vitriol behind her words, despite it being a relatively simple question.

“Why do you care?”

You furrowed your brows at Ben’s tone—low and laced with tangible distaste. Part of you had expected him to be equally as surprised to run into Voe here, to share your concern of being caught and tattled on by a third party. All things considered, it made sense that you were the only one that was worried—he had no reason to believe that Voe was privy to your relations.

She snapped at him. “Oh, I don’t care, Solo. I was just under the assumption that you were in time-out this week.” Her emphasis on the word was mocking, as if she hadn’t been assigned to the same punishment just weeks ago.

“Time-out? Really? That’s a bit childish, don’t you think?”

The door finally slammed shut, sealing the three of you inside like a tomb. It might as well have been one.

“I’d say it's no less childish than sneaking around the school grounds with your toy.”

There was that word again: toy. An object of infatuation for a fleeting moment, ultimately destined to be abandoned with the others that once held the same appeal.

A twinge in your gut was your only physical reaction to her implication.

To your surprise, Ben was silent—either lost for words or searching his mind for longer than usual. As it turned out, it was the latter.

“It must feel good, to finally feel like you have something over me. To finally feel like you’re my equal.”

A quiet breath caught in your throat. As you registered his words, they rattled around your skull.

You felt like an intruder listening in on a conversation you weren’t meant to hear. You supposed you weren’t meant to hear it, really. Hearing Ben talk to someone that way was alarming, to say the least.

Your curiosity was intolerable, morphing from a petty intrigue into a biting demand requiring resolution. Whatever had happened between these two, you were going to unearth it—regardless of the cost.

This demand was paired with something else as well: guilt. While you had gleaned from conversations with both of them that their relationship was rocky, to put it lightly, you doubted that your presence in their lives was making the situation any better.

“I am your equal,” she snarled. “Now, get the fuck out of my way.”

Ben was silent, with only the sound of her pushing past him following. Her heavy footsteps were rapidly approaching the shower stalls.

Adrenaline pumped through your veins in preparation of her discovering you. How stupid were you? This is what you get for thinking with your heart instead of your head.

You braced yourself against the wall, your eyes squeezed tight in prayer. To any higher power that may be listening, I promise that if you spare me from Voe’s wrath, I will make better choices in the future. Please, I beg of you, save me from an untimely death at the end of her lightsaber.

The sound of a curtain ripping open rang throughout the corridor, causing you to flinch. Opening your eyes felt like an impossible task, as if to do so would require pliers to pry them apart—somehow still a more pleasant situation than the one you found yourself in.

You lost count of how many beats passed as you stood there, eyes shut and body stiff as you waited for Voe’s lithe hands to grab your neck and squeeze the blood from every vein and capillary supplying your brain, smothering your life force into oblivion.

But it never came. The only change in the atmosphere was the shrill squeak of a faucet turning on.

You opened your eyes, immediately finding that you were still alone in the stall, the faucet still turned tight. You blinked away the haze in your vision, reality becoming more clear with every passing second.

The shower adjacent to you had started, the stall slowly filling with steam. The invisible hand that had been clutching your heart released its grip, allowing blood to once again flow freely to your tissues as warmth returned to your skin.

Voe yanked the curtain shut behind her, kicking off her shoes into the space outside the stall.

“And Ben,” she called out over the running water. “Don’t forget to take your little girlfriend’s boots with you.”

Shit.

You looked down at your feet as if your boots would magically reappear if you willed them to. Then, you saw it, the faint outline of them through the shower curtain, taunting you from outside.

It felt like a kick to your chest, all of the air in your lungs escaping through your parted lips.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that if you want to scare me.” Ben’s voice echoed as the door closed behind him, leaving you to simmer in the ambient sound of the shower running.

“Fucking asshole,” she muttered, her low voice still full of vitriol.

You felt like a caged animal, unwillingly trapped in an enclosure. Neither of the two options available to you were particularly appealing: outlasting Voe or making an escape. While both were nerve-inducing, one was certainly less soggy and miserable than the other.

Plucking up what was left of your courage, you tore yourself from the wall and cautiously inched towards the laminate barrier, the last thing protecting you from the wrath of Voe. Your pulse hammered your ears, deafening you to the sound of water splashing against tiles.

Slowly, you slid the curtain back, causing the hooks to screech against the aluminum rod. You grit your teeth at the sound, abruptly stopping your movements.

You ducked behind the remaining coverage of the curtain, dreading a reaction from her. It’s not like you could just use the Force either to lift the hooks off the metal, as she would undoubtedly sense the activity.

Carefully, you tugged at the curtain again, wincing with every noise the metal hooks made. After a few moments, you had cleared enough room to poke your head out. Upon first glance, you found that the room was in the same condition as earlier, besides the newly occupied shower.

You can do this, you assured yourself as you released a tense exhale through your nose before slipping out into the chamber.

The ground was slick beneath your feet, your wet socks gliding freely over the cold tile. The last thing you needed to do right now was slip and fall—although, you were sure that Voe wouldn’t be too upset to hear that you had cracked your skull open on the tile floor. You tightened your center to steady yourself, your arms whirling midair to regain your balance.

Before taking off towards the door, you snatched your boots off of the ground, gripping onto the gray cloth as if your life depended on it.

The distance between you and the doorway seemed to stretch longer as you rushed towards it, paranoia looming over you like a dark cloud of horror.

After what felt like an eternity, you reached the door and gripped the handle like a lifeline, relishing in the promise of freedom beyond it.

As you turned the knob, Voe’s voice cut through the dead air.

She chirped your name like a cruel serenade. “Make sure you grab your shoes on the way out.”

Bile burned your throat as you slammed the door shut, guilt rolling over you in heavy waves. This was all your fault—you were the one who told her about you and Ben. You had inadvertently caused the very thing that you feared. How were you supposed to tell Ben this? How could he forgive you for breaking your promise in such a short time?

In the same breath, how dare he withhold pertinent information about Voe and him from you? Really, this was his doing. Had you known the true history between them, you would have never confided in her to begin with.

A seething, dark energy filled your senses, fueled by your growing anger. It was familiar, the same energy you had felt in the forest. Only this time, it was your own emotions that were drawing you closer to the edge of the abyss, luring you in.

Each encounter with the darkness became more difficult to resist, the allure of giving in to it feeling more like asylum than a threat.

A flash of lightning pulled you from your spiral, saving you from sinking further into the boiling rage within you.

You let your legs mindlessly carry you through the rain, kicking up mud in your path. You were no longer yourself, but rather a drone determined for answers.

Lightning continued to rip through the sky, each time followed by the sound of its loyal thunder, roaring only for a moment before settling to recharge its might.

Ben’s door was all that stood between you and the answers you sought, but not for long.

You burst into the room, nearly slamming the door into the six-foot-something man standing behind it.

“Hey, easy there. I was just about to bring you a towel,” he said calmly, despite the surprised expression written on his face.

Either he was oblivious to your demeanor, or you were concealing your anger far better than you imagined you were. He reacted to you as if you had just stopped by for a surprise visit instead of storming in after witnessing him in a near-screaming match with Voe.

“Are you kidding me?” you spat, pushing yourself past him.

“About bringing you a towel? No, I meant it. I was jus–”

You snatched the towel from his hands, removing it from the conversation.

“I’m not talking about the towel, Ben. I’m obviously talking about whatever just happened between you and Voe back there.”

His jaw flexed, the muscles in his neck tensing at the mention of her name. “You know that Voe and I don’t always see eye-to-eye.”

You scoffed. “Not seeing eye-to-eye is disagreeing about something that doesn’t matter, like what the best flavor of ice cream is. Calling each other children and talking about having power over one another goes far beyond that!”

“This isn’t something that concerns you,” he said coldly, his stare unwavering.

A stone sank in your chest, plummeting through your ribs until it hit the bottom of your stomach.

“I think it does concern me,” you said, your voice lower than before, but still stern. “She called me a toy—on more than one occasion—all because I associate with you. I deserve to know what the fuck happened between you two.”

You had never spoken to Ben in this tone, but after his dismissal of your questions, you didn’t really care about hurting his feelings. Especially considering that yours were currently smashed into a million pieces.

He moved closer, his massive figure now looming over you. Not like he usually did, with gentle hands around your waist, followed by soft lips against yours. No, this time his presence was intimidating, the first time you had ever felt subordinate to him.

“You want to know why Voe and I don’t get along?” he said, his voice gravelly.

All you could do was nod, your fiery rage suddenly nowhere to be found as he closed the space between you two.

A chill ran down your spine as you took a step back, only to be met with resistance from his wall.

“It’s because deep down, she knows that no matter how hard she tries, or how much she trains, that she’ll never be good enough. She is destined to live in my shadow.”

Your ears heard the words and your brain recognized them as coming from Ben’s mouth, yet you were still unable to process what he had just said.

“Do you really believe that?” you asked quietly, trying to hide your emotion.

“Yes.” His response was almost instant, nearly automatic.

“Why?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed sharply. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“And why’s that? Because I haven’t been here as long as you have?” Your voice was raising once again, your emotions bleeding through.

“That’s not what I said,” he growled.

“But that’s what you meant!”

“No,” he snapped, his brows drawing together. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean by it?”

“I…” He paused, running his hand through his drying hair as he considered his answer. “I don’t know what I meant by it. Just forget that I ever said it.”

You let out a terse exhale, dissatisfied with the resolution. If he wouldn’t answer that question, then you would press another.

“The way you see Voe…” you started, hesitant to say the rest of the question. “Is that how you view the rest of us, too?”

He pursed his lips, considering his answer for an uncomfortably long time. You watched him with pleading eyes, ones that begged for the truth, but weren’t sure they were ready to hear it.

For a fleeting moment, he looked as if he was going to respond, inhaling deeply before pushing the words out.

But nothing ever came.

His silence was enough of an answer for you. You stepped away from him, his eyes still trained on you as you drifted further from him.

Somehow, the silence hurt more than hearing him say what he believed. It meant he knew what he thought was arrogant and wrong, but he wasn’t bold enough to say it to your face.

Tears began to prick at the corners of your eyes, accompanied by a lump forming in your throat as you turned on your heels, hiding your face from Ben’s sight.

He was stoic in the center of his room as he watched you grab the door handle.

You turned to face him one last time before you left the room, allowing him one more chance to resolve the conversation.

Was he really going to let you leave like this? With the belief that he thought so little of you and your peers?

As you pulled the door open and stepped past the threshold of the entryway, you learned the answer.

The next day passed uneventfully. The rain finally let up in the morning, which would have been nice if you had been scrubbing the temple steps all day, but you weren’t. You didn’t show up to your assignment, opting to take the risk of a prolonged punishment over having to see Ben.

When Master Skywalker knocked on your door mid-morning, you fed him a lie as to why you weren’t there. As far as he knew, you had been up all night with an upset stomach. It was a foolproof lie—you weren’t even halfway through your explanation before he cut you off and excused you for the day.

You spent the rest of the day either pacing around your quarters, tossing and turning in bed, or flipping through the pages of dense texts as a means of passing the time between meals. While hiding in your quarters wasn’t exactly productive, it provided you the solace you didn’t receive from Ben Solo.

The twill blanket rolled between your fingertips as you picked at it, fraying the thread as you tried to calm the gnawing pit of anxiety in your stomach. You weren’t sure how long you had been laying like this, lost in your thoughts as you waited for the night to come and allow you to sleep. Not that you would be able to sleep right now.

Part of you was hoping to hear another knock at your door. Over twenty four hours had passed already since the conversation—if you could even call it that—in his quarters. For all you knew, he was carrying on as usual, completely unaware of the turmoil in your mind.

Your eyes fell on the drawer beside your bed, the one you had yet to open since arriving here. Scrolling through the offerings of the datapad sounded more intriguing than staring off into oblivion all night.

It was black, sleek, and light in your hands as you fiddled with the touch-sensitive buttons, familiarizing yourself with its operating system.

While flicking through the applications, one in particular caught your eye, accented with a bright notification in the corner. It was the…messaging application?

Upon further inspection, you noticed that the number three was written in the circle. Your fingers flew to click on the notification, dread growing in your gut upon seeing who the messages were from.

1 new message from Ben Solo, received at 0548:

Hey. I don’t know if you’ve found your datapad yet, but if you have, please write back.

1 new message from Ben Solo, received at 1310:

We missed you at lunch today. Master Skywalker said you weren’t feeling well, so I hope you feel better soon. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.

1 new message from Ben Solo, received at 1722:

Okay, I’m starting to worry about you. Please, just let me know you’re alright.

In your fragile state, just reading messages from him was enough to seize your heart and brim your eyes with warm, salty tears.

You opened the last message, expanding the text and details of the communication. After reading over it once more, you typed your reply.

Reply to Ben Solo:

Hi, Ben.

Yes, I finally found my datapad, along with all of the messages you’ve sent. I didn’t realize I was so popular. I’m feeling a bit better, thank you for asking. I’ll see you tomorrow for another day of scrubbing the steps.

The message felt incredibly impersonal, all things considered, but you couldn’t be sure that the datapad communications were entirely private. So, you opted for a safe, platonic-sounding response.

Less than a minute after pressing send, another notification popped up on your screen.

1 new message from Ben Solo, received at 1806:

I’m coming by. I’ll be there in a few minutes.

Before you could even respond to the message, there was a knock on your door. A quiet one, but still loud enough to be heard from inside your room.

You cracked the door open, finding who you already knew was on the other side of it.

“So much for a few minutes,” you said as you pulled the door open a bit further.

Ben cleared his throat. “There’s, uh, a lag in delivery time.”

He looked tired, his shoulders slouched and his hands shoved in his cloak pockets. He was wearing an emotion you hadn’t seen on him before. It almost looked like guilt.

“I’m sure there is,” you joked, your tone still stiffer than usual. “Um, do you want to come in?”

Your invitation was less of a genuine offer and more of a means to getting him out of the view of any possible bystanders.

“Yeah—yes, I would like that.” He was stumbling over his words, something that had been reserved only for you up until this point.

A small, amused smile pulled at your lips as you turned your back and led him inside.

Suffocating silence fell over the two of you as the door shut behind him. You sat on your bed and leaned against the wall, eyeing him as he shifted his weight between his feet. It was oddly satisfying to see him uncomfortable, given how you had spent the past two days.

Predictably, your soft heart got the better of you and you patted the spot beside you. He accepted your invitation and shuffled over to take the spot, avoiding your gaze as he did. The bed dipped as he sat down, shaking the mattress as he scooted back against the wall like you.

“Well, how are you?” he asked, as if you hadn’t told him in message form less than five minutes ago.

“How am I? Stars, Ben.” You let out an incredulous laugh.

He rubbed the heel of his palms into his eyes to hide his embarrassment. “I know, that was lame of me to ask. I shouldn’t have–”

“Look,” you snapped, “I’m really not interested in making small talk.”

“Yeah, definitely. Me neither.”

He was very agreeable when he needed to apologize. Not that he was necessarily stubborn otherwise, but you could tell he was acting on his best behavior right now.

Your eyes roamed the perimeter of your room as the two of you sat there, steeped in silence. Unfortunately, you were too stubborn yourself to broach the subject, forcing him to be the one to do it.

“I’m really sorry about yesterday,” he said after a moment, his words rushed.

All you did was blink at him, waiting for more than just an “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to insinuate that I think you’re below me, because I don’t think that at all.” He paused, as if he were anxious to say his next thought. “Quite the opposite, actually.”

Your next exhale was shaky as it spilled out of your lungs. He had his tongue pressed against his cheek in thought, so you resisted saying anything in hopes of keeping the apology going.

He continued. “You’re the only person here that doesn’t have to push themselves past their capabilities to keep up with me. It all comes so naturally to you, too.”

While his words could have been either flattery or praise, given the tone of his voice and his relaxed demeanor, it seemed to be the latter. Warmth filled your chest at the thought, lustrous pride rising to the surface.

“You flatter me,” you said with a coy smile, trying to hide the blush that rose to your cheeks.

“But it’s true. I know that it’s wrong of me to think of our classmates that way, it’s just something that’s hard to look past when you’ve been told you’re a prodigy your entire life.”

He let out a small sigh as he rested his chin on top of his knees. His brows were slightly drawn, his soft, brown eyes focused on a point far in the distance.

Hesitantly, you inched your hand closer to his, wrapping your fingers around his slack palm. Truthfully, it was hard to understand how he must have felt. To be related to the famous Luke Skywalker, Galactic Rebellion hero and Jedi Master. Trying to live up to his legacy alone must have been an enormous burden.

“Do you feel pressured to be someone you’re not?” you asked quietly.

With that, he turned to face you, his lips rosy and pouty. His gaze flicked between your eyes for a second, searching for something in them.

He nodded. “More than I’d like to admit.”

You hummed in response, grazing your thumb across the back of his hand.

The conversation could’ve naturally stopped there, but he continued. “Do you know who Leia Organa is?”

His question felt irrelevant from the topic, but you answered nonetheless. “Of course I do. Why?”

He let out a short puff of air through his nose, chewing on his bottom lip before responding. “She’s my mom.”

The words clattered around your skull like a pair of dice, knocking into and obliterating any other thought you had. On the outside though, your parted lips and stunned eyes were the only evidence of your shock.

“Your mom is Senator Organa?!”

When he had divulged the information that his mom was a senator, your head had been too clouded with anxiety to think harder about it. Not to mention that you were not overly familiar with every senator on the New Republic’s roster. But Senator Leia Organa was a household name throughout the galaxy, not only for being one of the founding members of the Galactic Senate, but also for her role in the Rebellion. And here you were, sitting beside her son.

“Yeah, she’s Master Skywalker’s sister. It’s quite a reputation to uphold,” he said with a sigh, relaxing the tension in his shoulders. “That’s beside the point, though. I really do feel terrible about yesterday.”

You studied him, trying to piece together features he shared with his mother. Recalling your grade school education when you learned about the senate, as well as images of Leia Organa from news articles about her on the HoloNet. His big, brown eyes and dark, wavy hair were reminiscent of hers. You wondered what his father looked like, what features of his could be attributed to him.

“It’s okay. Honestly, I think we both could have handled things better,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. “I appreciate your apology.”

He turned and kissed the top of your head before leaning against you as well. You supposed that was his acknowledgement of what you had said, which you didn’t really mind.

After a moment of resting like this, he spoke up. “I have something for you.”

“Mmm?”

You straightened your back to look at him as he dug through his pockets, retrieving a small, drawstring pouch. He took your hand in his free one and placed the bag in your palm, his eyes lighting up as he watched you, anticipating your reaction.

“What’s this?” you asked, hesitant to open it.

“Open it.”

The canvas bag shifted in your grasp as you opened it and poured the contents into your hand. In your grasp was a silver, braided bracelet with a cyan, opalescent detail hanging from the center. It was flexible, but not as much as a typical chain would be. By the craftsmanship and alloy used, it looked to be fashioned out of some kind of metal wire.

“I made it myself. I sanded out some wires I had laying around from when I built my lightsaber, and I braided it to match yours,” Ben said, gently pulling your braid to lay on your shoulder.

Your heart felt as if it were going to explode, a stark contrast to the coldness of the past day. You slid the bracelet over your hand and let it dangle from your wrist, admiring the asymmetrical charm hanging from it.

“This is beautiful, Ben,” you said, a giddy smile stretched across your face. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the pendant?”

“It’s a flake of a crystal,” he explained, his eyes searching the room as he looked for the right words. “I found it on one of Endor’s moons when I was a kid. I’ve been holding onto it ever since, but I want you to have it.”

His fingers laced with yours, enveloping your hand.

“Are you sure?”

He suppressed a laugh and sighed. “I hope so, considering that I already drilled a hole into it.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled your hand free from his grasp, shoving him lightly. “You know what I meant, smartass.”

“Yes, I’m quite sure,” he said quietly before leaning over and kissing you.

There was a beat of silence between the two of you, but a comfortable one.

“I should get going now.” He sounded half-hearted, as if he were hoping you would protest.

You did.

“No,” you murmured. “Please stay.” You bunched his cloak in your fist, preventing him from standing up from the bed. With wide eyes you watched him, trying to read what was going on in that beautiful head of his.

“Okay,” he said softly.

A surge of confidence flooded your veins. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, your lips parted his, moving slowly against each other as you moved to straddle his hips. His rough hands were quick to grab your waist, gripping you tightly and pulling you against his chest.

He sighed into your mouth as you ground your hips into his, the familiar—yet intoxicating—feeling of his growing length between your legs. You smiled into his lips and pressed down harder, rubbing him against your aching clit.

You pulled away from his lips momentarily. “Why is it that we only seem to do this after an argument?”

Ben let out an airy chuckle through his nose and shook his head. “I don’t know, but I’m definitely not complaining.”

“Neither am I.” You slid your hands behind his neck and kissed him again before finishing your thought. “We’ve had a rough couple of days, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, all thanks to me,” he said quietly, a tinge of guilt evident in his tone. Despite his gaze still being on your face, it felt distant, as if he were lost in a sea of thoughts.

“No, not all thanks to you,” you assured him, swiping a thumb over his cheekbone. “I’m equally at fault for handling things the way I did.”

His eyes snapped up to yours, irises nearly erased by his pupils. He searched your eyes for a lingering moment, as if in them he would find the courage to say what he wanted to.

“You’re all I thought about this past day. Not school, not training,” he said, tracing his thumb over your bottom lip, his fingers splayed over your hot cheek. “Just you.”

He dragged your hips across his, massaging the sensitive spot between your legs with his hardened cock. A sharp gasp escaped your lips, your eyes falling shut as you savored the sensation.

“There’s something else I was thinking about, too. Something I wanted to try,” he said, gently holding your bottom lip down with his thumb.

The ambiguity of his statement sparked electricity in your stomach, bleeding down to the pressure between your legs.

“And what’s that?” You let your hands fall to his shoulders, gently squeezing the muscle beneath.

“First, we need to get you out of these,” he said hoarsely, his hands moving to untie your belt.

You beat him to it, moving to stand as you shed your clothing, leaving just your bra and underwear remaining.

His dark eyes raked over your body, and before you could climb back onto his lap, he grabbed your waist, holding you in place. “Those too.”

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as you unclasped your bra and slid it down your arms. Ben rolled your underwear down your legs, his eyes following them until they finally fell to the ground.

“At any point in this plan are you going to be undressing, too?” you asked, crossing your leg in front of the other to cover yourself.

“I wasn’t going to, but I can if you’d like me to.” He looked up at you with wide eyes, a lock of dark hair falling into them.

“Oh, you don’t have to then…” You trailed off as you tried to comprehend what was going to happen.

He pulled you onto his lap and laid back, dragging your hips forward with him.

“What are you doing?” you asked, providing almost no resistance to his movements.

“Just come here and you’ll see.”

You let his hands guide you further, your hips hovering above his face now. His hot breath spread over your throbbing clit, igniting a fire in your belly.

To your dismay, he turned his head and placed slow kisses on your inner thigh, his fingers digging into the flesh above his lips. A low groan vibrated in his throat, dangerously close to your cunt.

You squirmed under his touch, trying to expel the energy pent up within you.

“Don’t be cruel,” you gasped, threading your fingers through his hair in an attempt to pull him closer.

“I’m not being cruel,” he whispered, his lips grazing your skin. “I’m just trying to memorize how you look right now.”

Heat spread across your cheeks and down your neck, melting away any residual insecurity. As you opened your mouth to respond, he parted you with his tongue, licking a long stripe up to your sensitive clit.

A whimper fell from your lips, earning your hips a squeeze from Ben’s hands as he continued to work his tongue. You let your head fall forward, your legs beginning to shake from the strain of supporting yourself.

“Relax—you’re not going to crush me,” he said, his breath fanning over your wet skin.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, smoothing his hands up your waist until they reached your breasts. You moaned as the rough pads of his thumbs rolled over your nipples, igniting your nerves with each tight motion.

His mouth was relentless, sucking and circling over your swollen clit, drawing you closer to the edge. You let your muscles relax, allowing yourself to focus on the sensation between your legs.

Everything about it was intoxicating. His tongue, being on top of him, the intensity of his gaze. It was all becoming too much as your pleasure grew, your senses nearly overwhelmed.

“Shit, I’m close,” you panted between shallow breaths, tugging on his dark locks as you neared your orgasm.

“Yes—fuck—come for me.”

Ben’s voice was clear, but not spoken aloud. As the words penetrated your mind, you opened your eyes, seeing that his mouth was still on you.

It had been an invisible communication between you two.

Before you could question it, euphoria flooded your veins, washing over your body and emptying your mind. You writhed in his grasp, grinding your hips against his mouth as you came down from your high. You felt weightless, spinning on the comedown until you landed in a bed of soft, cottony bliss.

Ben’s eyes were locked on you as he peppered wet kisses along your thigh before letting his head fall back onto the mattress, smiling as he exhaled softly.

Shakily, you climbed off his chest and collapsed beside him, your skin warm and eyelids heavy.

“Ben,” you started, yawning between thoughts. “I think I’m going crazy.”

He chuckled. “What do you mean?”

The statement about to leave your mouth was either going to be easily explained away or leave Ben thinking that you’re clinically insane. Your gaze wandered around the room before finally meeting Ben’s.

“Just now, when I was about to, you know…”

“Come?” Ben finished for you, grinning at your hesitancy.

“Yes,” you sighed, “when I was about to come, I swear I heard you say something. But I don’t know how that’s even possible.”

“What did you hear?” he asked, propping himself up on an elbow, a flicker of curiosity flashing across his eyes.

“I thought I heard you say ‘come for me.’”

A pause hung in the air. He definitely thinks you’re insane.

Ben finally parted his beautiful, plush lips to respond. “I mean, I thought that, but no, I didn’t say it out loud. I was…occupied.”

You smiled, chewing on your bottom lip. “I know you were. That’s why I’m confused.”

“I’ll have to do some research, but I think I’ve read about this being possible through the Force. Connected minds, connected bodies…” He winked at you, evidently proud of his innuendo.

“Don’t be dirty.” You shoved him with all your strength, but still barely disturbed his stability. Not that you were any better after riding his face just moments ago.

“I would never.” He ran a hand through his hair, his brows pinched in thought. “Well shit, what else did you hear? I might need to start censoring my thoughts,” he said with a stifled laugh.

“I didn’t hear anything else. But yes, you’d be wise to only think the kindest of thoughts while you’re around me.”

“I already do, princess.” He pulled you by your waist until you were pressed against him and kissed you, his lips warm and salty. In the hazy afterglow of your orgasm, you couldn’t find the will to care.

Another yawn threatened to escape your mouth as you watched Ben sit up, adjusting his pants before standing. Guilt washed over you.

You sat up on your elbows. “Wait, if you want, we can–”

“You’re already half asleep, we’re not going to do anything,” he said quietly, pushing you back against the bed with a kiss.

“But–” you protested weakly. He was right after all, you were only one warm blanket away from a good night’s sleep.

He smiled down at you. “You deserve to be treated. Please, just let me do that.” As he walked towards the door, he turned back to look at you once more. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You slid under the blanket, relishing the faint heat stored in it from your bodies atop it.

“Goodnight, Ben,” you said, letting your eyes flutter closed and your head sink into your pillow.

“Goodnight.”

#welcome to the part of the story where I actively try to hurt your feelings #like kinda #I promise that ben is still our soft space bf #ben solo #ben solo x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x you #ben solo x fem!reader #ben solo x you #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars self insert #kylo ren smut #ben solo smut #my writing

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