#some reason the video color came out different compared to the raw video

[koenna99]

#genshin impact #MK dying #Venti omg.... #I might try and record random happenings if I can get a good editing software #some reason the video color came out different compared to the raw video

[millenniumfae]

Video Game Cooking: Sugars (Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice)

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is a standalone historical fantasy made by the famous people who also created Dark Souls and Bloodborne. It became an instant hit, and garnered massive critical acclaim. You control the broody shinobi Wolf as he battles entire armies and legendary beasts.

One of the many consumables in-game are the Sugars; Gokan’s Sugar, Ako’s Sugar, Yashariku’s Sugar, Ungo’s Sugar, and Gachiin’s Sugar. These candies are named and colored differently, and each offer a different effect. One raises your attack power, another makes you more stealthy, and so on.

Today, we’re gonna be re-creating these Sugars with our own recipe. And true to my tradition when it comes to Video Game Recipes, we’re gonna be taking our ingredients accurate to the setting. Which in this case is Sengoku period Japan. This recipe meta draws especially true to my own heritage, as a Taiwanese person.

Sekiro Senpou Temple Sugars: Recipe (makes 10-20 individual candies, depending on the size)

Base candy recipe:

3 3/4 cups granulated raw cane sugar

1 1/2 cups golden syrup/brown rice syrup

1 cup water

Corn starch for mold making (optional)

Confectioner’s sugar for dusting

Flavorings:

Fresh ginger slices (Gokan’s Sugar)

Dried lotus seeds (Gokan’s Sugar)

Red cherries (Ako’s Sugar)

Dried Astragalus (Ako’s Sugar)

Ginseng (Ungo’s Sugar)

White peaches (Ungo’s Sugar)

Sake (Yashariku’s Sugar)

Dried Cocklebur fruit (Yashariku’s Sugar)

Dried Orange peel (Gachiin’s Sugar)

Dried Goji berries (Gachiin’s Sugar)

Food coloring

(Sekiro won the 2019 Game Of The Year award, the first FromSoftware game to do so.)

To make our Sugars, we’ll be infusing a traditional candy base with various ingredients, unique for each candy. Every ingredient is based off of TCM, which is an acronym standing for Traditional Chinese Medicine. For those unacquainted with TCM, it can be hard to explain its influence. There’s no true western equivalent because it’s more than just ‘old household remedies’, it’s almost a given that Asian citizens take various TCM practices seriously to a degree. Like westerners do with honey lemon tea, or chicken noodle soup.

It’s also accurate to the game. Sekiro takes its setting very seriously. Everything from weapons, to hairstyles, to interior decor, even down to the kanji on Emma’s note in the beginning of the game is true to the Sengoku period, and some levels even go backwards a bit to the Heinan period, to reflect an ancient atmosphere. You can reasonably minus the historical inaccuracies on your own volition; giant snake gods, lightning powers, and automatic prosthetic grappling hooks weren’t indigenous to Japan.

Except there’s in fact one tiny detail that you might be surprised to learn is actually anachronistic; disk-shaped hard candies. The Sugars.

Hard candies aren’t traditional East-Asian treats. Sugar was always readily available in the form of sugar cane, true, but sweets almost always took the form of fruit, and candy-coated/infused ingredients. This is true worldwide until refining sugar into its white form became common, but East-Asia in particular wasn’t munching on lozenges while Marie Antoinette already had cough drops.

The Sengoku period stretched from the early Renaissance to the Baroque period. While Wolf was parrying his way through the Ashina Outskirts, the first King James Bible was published. There was plate armor and court jesters, but also firearms and photographs. Japan didn’t get access to matchlock firearms until 1542, and since the Sunken Valley clan seems to define themselves by the expert use of these guns, it makes sense that the intro to the game itself dates Sekiro as specifically taking place in the latter years of the Sengoku period.

All throughout this stretch of two centuries, Japan has been under constant war and political strife, lending to the Sengoku period’s alternative name, the ‘Warring States Period’. Japan consisted of separate nations, all led under Daimyo and warlords and various nobles that demanded their armies scramble for more land and resources. Living under this kind of conflict for so long means that innovations and education are rare. There’s no opportunity to invent the telescope when you’re all constantly worried about your lives.

This means that the food of Sekiro would have very much been the same it’s been since centuries beforehand. Even though by this point, the Columbian Exchange has been well underway and Europe was experimenting with tomatoes in their food, Japan wasn’t enjoying this same golden period. Any developments would have been weaponry, not candy making methods.

This means that, for our recipe, we’re not using anything that a Senpou monk wouldn’t have access to. No potatoes, corn, vanilla, etc. No beet sugar, or fruits that aren’t native to Japan. Even the raw cane sugar we’re using is pushing the authenticity envelope, because the ‘raw’ granulated sugar you find in grocery stores aren’t completely raw, they’ve still been refined using lye and carbon to strip much of the molasses. True raw cane sugar, when boiled down from its juice form, makes a traditional Asian ingredient called black sugar, which is very dark in color and not suited for making the brightly-colored candy disks that the Sugars appear to be.

(Shinobi aren’t samurai, but Wolf’s relationship with Kuro is so clearly samurai-ish that we can assume Wolf was being paid buckets as a high-prestige warrior. He also would have access to better food, including white rice; which, while already genetically modified through breeding by the Sengoku period, wouldn’t have looked like modern rice. Or maybe Wolf wasn’t enjoying the high life, because he dresses in rags compared to Genichiro and apparently didn’t know rice was supposed to be cooked.)

Knowing all that history about the Sengoku period, it’s almost silly to see candy consumables in-game, looking like they came right out of a bag of Werther’s Originals. The developers of Sekiro made many lengths to ensure everything was authentic, so why are the candies so modern-looking when they could instead have been a traditional Sengoku period sweet like something mochi-based, or agar (seaweed) jellies?

The lore behind the Sugars are that the evil Senpou monks were mass-producing these candies, and selling them all across Ashina to fund their crooked child experiments. They’re not just (presumably) tasty, they offer benefits to your health. That’s definitely in line with TCM culture, and gives us some inspiration for how to pursue replicating them.

One important note; the Sugars are some of the lesser consumables Wolf can use. Almost all other consumables are better, offering more powerful effects for a longer duration. So what if these candies were true to TCM and were mere treats infused with medicinal ingredients, only capable of giving you a small boost? Especially in comparison to the Divine Child’s rice, which would be like an Epi-Pen in this analogy.

But there’s even more depth to the consumables than that. Kuro gifts Wolf a ‘sweet rice ball’ at some point, which is almost certainly an Ohagi bun; made out of glutinous rice, red beans, and sugar, and its a traditional offering for the Buddhist observance of seasonal equinox. Eating it is sometimes said to bring protection. In order for Kuro to make Wolf this rice ball, you gotta give him some of that special rice from the Divine Child. Wolf offhandedly mentions that her rice is “sweet when you bite into it”, and Kuro realizes that Wolf has been eating these rice grains raw all this time, like the feral 5′5 goblin he is. Kuro vows to give his loyal protector something nice to eat, for once, and makes him three Ohagi dumplings.

The food of Sekiro is symbolic. The Divine Child is able to make rice out of thin air, like a deity of fertility. Kuro takes this divine rice, and his sweet rice ball is more powerful than the magical blessed Sugars because it was made with compassion. And eating Kuro’s lovingly-made rice ball reminds Wolf of once being fed a rice ball when he was young and starving, given to him by his assfuck of a father who’s compassion is heavily in question.

The Sugars are described as giving the eater a ‘benediction’ of power, and who knows what the translators were thinking, but the word choice reminds us of communion, and the flesh and blood of Christ. It’s not a true comparison; communion is about replicating and worshiping the Last Supper, reminding Christians about Jesus willingly dying cause humans are sinful. Consuming the ‘flesh and blood’ of Jesus in the form of bread and wine is very different than eating a candy apparently blessed by an ancient Japanese warrior. It’s not like communion wafers are supposed to empower you, or protect you.

Looking at the in-game image of each Sugar, you can see the likeness of a person behind it, likely the very warrior the Sugar is named after. We don’t know if these people actually had a hand in these Sugars, somehow transplanting their power into each individual candy, or if the monks just named the candies after them. Either way, the process of receiving the benefits of the Sugars isn’t just about crunching it between your teeth, Wolf also takes a moment to strike a‘warrior stances’, which, according to the descriptions, is a required detail to properly absorb the candy’s effects. Each Sugar has their own corresponding ‘stance’ that Wolf performs. It’s a weird detail, and raises even more questions about the Sugars, the monks, and the warriors behind the candy.

(Observant players will note that the five Headless boss enemies drop ‘spiritfalls’, each of which share names with the five Sugars, and offer upgraded versions of their corresponding Sugar; Ako’s Spiritfall is basically a better version of Ako’s Sugar, and so on. We can assume that the Headless are, in fact, the very same legendary warriors that powered the Sugars, especially since the game itself states that the Headless are undead remains of powerful individuals.)

True to FromSoftware tradition, details are included with purpose. And also at the same time, some details are just meant to be taken at face value. The various centipede-themed enemies in Sekiro are associated with kegare - spiritual defilement, death - explaining visually their willing abandonment from Buddhism. But there’s likely no lore explaining why Wolf can automatically hoover up all nearby enemy loot like a vacuum with the press of a button.

The inexplicable details of FromSoftware games are almost certainly because of gameplay convenience. Many characters are 9-10 feet tall for no reason, towering over Wolf, who’s already short to begin with. Lore-wise, it doesn’t make sense for so many completely human characters to be so gratuitously large. Gameplay-wise, it’s a lot easier to observe an enemy’s telegraphed movesets if their model is scaled up. Helpful, in a game like Sekiro.

The ‘stances’ of the Sugars might fall into both these categories. They exist for both gameplay and story reasons. The developers wanted a lag between consuming these powerups and being free to fight, so the player is forced to time these powerups carefully. You need to avoid enemies taking a free hit while Wolf’s animations are occupied. Then they storified this gameplay-based lag into a lore-based reason. Wolf has to take a ‘stance’ when eating these candies to receive its powers. For some reason.

I wasn’t able to further research the ‘stances’ Wolf strikes. Maybe they’re based off of known martial arts. But the description also offers some additional insight; according to the game, these Sugars contain ‘excess karma’ that is apparently the source of their power. Now, Buddhist karma doesn’t run in ‘excess’, a better choice of word would be ‘transfiguration’. One person can experience another’s karma through a variety of means.

“Bite the candy and take the Yashariku stance to impart its inhuman benediction.” In accordance with Buddhist folklore, these warriors are dead and imitating them can impart their previous life’s karma unto you. Our recipe won’t have magical karma powers, but we can certainly infuse our candies with medicinal herbs. You can just imagine the Senpou monks stirring up a big pot of sugar solution, and throwing in handfuls of dried Goji berries.

(This isn’t the first FromSoftware game that draws heavily from Buddhism. Dark Souls’ stagnant world of undeath is a rejection of Buddhist rebirth, clinging onto your legacy in a bid for immortality. Bloodborne decided to further explore the ‘time and madness’ angle of the same concept, while Sekiro went in the opposite direction to expand the ‘death and karma’ side.)

To make our Sugars; begin by first boiling the 1 cup of water with the corresponding flavor ingredients. Essentially, we’re making a batch of 10-20 candies with one flavor at a time, to make things easier on us. Ako’s Sugar requires you boil sliced ginger and dried lotus seeds, and so on.

After the water has been properly infused with the medicinal ingredients, strain the water and add it to another pot with the rest of the candy base ingredients, then boiling it all down until it reaches 300f. It’ll take a while, and you’ll notice that there’s gonna be a point where it seems like the temperature isn’t rising again. But keep at it; all the water needs to be boiled away. But the flavor will remain.

Once it reaches 300f, add the food coloring, and then keep boiling again until it reaches 310f. Then immediately take it off the heat and pour it into molds. Disk-shaped candy molds do exist, but you can easily make your own by pouring a lot of corn starch into a pan, then pressing a disk-shaped object (like another candy) into the starch to make indents. When you pour the candy mixture into a corn starch mold, you can use a spoon to gently and accurately fill each hole without distorting the powder. After perhaps three hours, the candies should be completely set and cool, and you can tumble away the powder and store the candies. Any mold method is gonna give the candies a flat side, but a true disk candy requires factory-standard molds that we don’t have.

We’re not using natural food colorings, ‘cause I tried my best to research natural alternatives that could retain their dye after boilings. And it was super hard, especially blue. Take it from me that Sekiro’s Sugars shouldn’t have been so brightly colored; intensely colored food did exist, but it was with things like powdered dried beets and matcha and pepper powder. Boiling these ingredients (rather than mixing it with dough or jelly) will change the colors drastically, sometimes completely bleaching it, or changing red to purple and so on.

As for the various medicinal ingredients; I took a gander in my mom’s soup-making cabinet and took stock of the medicinal herbs we ourselves use in our lives. The ones included in this recipe are some of the more commonly used ingredients of modern TCM.

Gokan’s Sugar, as a posture-retaining consumable, is described as a popular choice amongst shinobi hunters, a job that requires “a body with an unshakable core”. Ginger and lotus seeds are great for restoring energy through chi, a person’s lifeforce.

Ako’s Sugar raises your attack power. This candy actually proved one of the hardest to find medicines for, since, you know, most medicine is about preserving your health. Astragalus root increases energy and resistance to stress, and red cherries are a warming food according to TCM; warming meaning that its a yang property that further enhances your energy levels. (Keep in mind that food warmness-coolness is more about keeping those two in balance for optical health.)

Ungo’s Sugar reduces the amount of health Wolf loses. Very protection-centric, so we’re using ginseng, for longevity, and white peach slices for their heavy association with divinity. Both of these ingredients have some of the most well-known history in Asian food culture.

Yashariku’s Sugar is a double-edged sword, since it reduces both your health and posture so Wolf can be super powerful for a little bit. So you’re gonna add sake to the candy mixture around the 300f mark, and the dried cocklebur fruit is an immunity-boosting medicine ... but the plant is mildly toxic and can cause diarrhea. You know, Wolf gets super powerful and aggressive when taking this candy cause he needs to shit his brains out. Don’t worry; we’ve got this in our own pantry, and it personally doesn’t make my mom’s stomach upset, but it does me so it must range from person to person.

Gachiin’s Sugar makes you more stealthy, which I took to translate into ‘quieting your thoughts and emotions’. Like when you hold a baby and it can feel your own inner turmoil and starts to cry? Orange peel and goji berries restore your chi, your vision, an irregular heart rate, and stress.

Enjoy your candies! Pop them before tough situations like speaking before a big crowd, or having to wait in line at the DMV, or when you have to fight the Headless Ape for the first time. Tell your friends to stay away from the Senpou brand, so you don’t support their unethical practices.

#sekiro #sekiro: shadows die twice #fromsoftware #fromsoft #video game cooking

[hwallout]

chemistry - haon

request:  you're literally so cute omg 🥺, and yes he really is talented, one of the best rappers in my opinion actually,could it be a fluff, you being an idol and something like you two are dating and go to a variety show together and everyone just adores you two 🥺

words: 4,2k

genre: fluff

early a/n: omg im so nervous about this, my first request!! i kind of got carried away with the idea and just wanted to write a lot of things for it. it’s also my first time writing an idol and variety show au so i hope i did it justice <3

“Today, we have a special, new couple with us, everyone please welcome them!” The short and chubby woman said, a little nametag hanging off the rough material of her shirt, Jiyoon. Her voice rose slightly at the last word, arms extending and hands pointing towards the two youthful souls that stood not so far away. Slowly, the camera zoomed out and focused on the excited and cheerful appearance of a young couple.

Today, after exactly two weeks of going public about your relationship with Haon, you were guesting on your first “couple” variety show. Needless to say, nervousness taking a toll on your mind, although it wasn’t the first time guesting on this exact show. Being a popular solo artist, you’ve been invited a few times, and so has the rapper beside you, but being here as a couple was a completely different story.

Still, you didn’t let the tension win, and decided to film today’s episode as per usual – with a lot of fun and laughs. Now that your boyfriend was there, the atmosphere was only going to be better. Haon had a huge smile on his face, one that was well matching with yours. His cheeks came up high and made his eyes turn into thin slits. Just seeing him so happy was enough to make anyone’s day perfect.  

The two of you walked hand in hand, bodies moving to the slowly increasing volume of a song playing. It took a long second to realize that it was your recent collaboration – a song that earned a lot of praise and became a hit overnight. Letting the beat glide, your idol persona took over and you started bopping and mouthing the words of the song.  

When in the center of the room, Haon turned around and rapped along, hyping up the whole set. His lyrics flowed perfectly, breathing perfectly in control for the speed he delivered the words. Although so close to the boy, you still envied him, there was still so, so much to learn from such an experienced person. Slowly but surely, he built up the atmosphere for the main part of the collaboration – which were your own lyrics. When they finally started, the set went silent.

Still in the chic persona that the fans adored so much, you rapped along, holding an imaginary mic. At some point, you’d lift up your leg and step on Haon’s thigh, the boy now crouching down and enjoying the show. He looked at you with a cheeky smirk, but the eyes held so much indescribable adoration for the female before him.

Distancing away, and deciding to walk around the room, you showed off the powerful aura that was one of the main reasons you were an instant hit right after debut. The producers and cameramen bopped their heads along. In the last few lines, your boyfriend joined in on the vocal parts and you ran towards him to perform together, satisfied with the smooth execution of the beautiful collaboration.

The song ended with a strong growl and an imaginary mic drop from the both of you. Sounds of amazement resonated through the room, and the MCs appeared in the shot once again, also clapping along.

“Exactly what do we say about this duo? Legendary, exceptional, talented couple” Jiyoon chirped, her voice high but slightly raspy. “Haon and _____ everybody!” Hoseok and Lim, two of the other MCs joined in, chanting names and motioning towards you for the main camera to move and switch focus.

A brief filming cut was made, and suddenly there were a lot of people running around. Some staff came close to check up on makeup, hair, clothes, while the rest prepared the set behind. Haon’s disappearance went by unnoticed, until he came back, holding a fluffy blanket in your favorite color. Unable to control the sudden rush of feelings, you hugged him tight, hearing quiet coos from the production crew.  

Everything was finished in a matter of one minute, and the filming resumed. You were seated now, with the blanket covering up your legs, a warm feeling spreading over the chilly skin. There was a wide smile on your face that only widened as the male beside reached out and held your hand, placing it neatly in his lap.

“First off, welcome! It’s a pleasure seeing some familiar faces again” Lim spoke, deep voice contrasting his soft features. He looked at the boy on your left, then you, a friendly smile on his lips. The man’s cheeks were high and full, making it clear as to why the media often compared him to a mochi. Seeing Lim hosting again allowed you to relax more. You were already comfortable enough to joke and fool around with the older.

“Thank you for inviting us!” Haon replied, glancing to his right quickly as if to catch your reaction. Even after so long, there was that soft smile he fell in love with so long ago.

“It’s always refreshing when couples guest on our show, but I must say I was pleasantly surprised with today’s lineup” Lim continued, and was met with approving hums from the others. You looked down at the blanket, feeling a slight flush overtaking your features.  

“We hope you guys will have fun with today’s segments we prepared just for you” The host continued, flipping over a page on his script and taking a quick glance at it. The announcement had your eyes widening and mouth forming an O shape. Haon was in charge of vocal reactions, an amazed (or perhaps thrilled?) sound leaving his parted lips. You looked at him in excitement, resuming to clapping and legs swaying back and forth.

“Ah, just for us? Stop it, I’m gonna blush” Haon suddenly said, putting a hand to his heart, trying to fake fluster. The tone with which he spoke was high in pitch, almost way too cute for his usual demeanor. You laughed at his little remark, seeing just how comfortable the other was with the older man.

“You know you’re my favorite, how can I not?” Lim replied with the same type of undertone, mimicking the actions of your boyfriend. A slight commotion developed between two friends. You, and the two other hosts, sat on the side, watching with attentive eyes the teasing conversation that went back and forth – providing yet another source of entertainment. The room was quickly filled with laughter and claps of excitement.

Once the noise died out, Hoseok was the one to speak. He was the newest MC of the show, yet he always seemed so professional.  

“As you can see, we always have fun with our guests” He said, taking a glance at the script in his lap. The motion was brief and quick, almost unnoticeable. “And I hope you’ll continue to enjoy the show because we are jumping straight onto the first segment!”

The MCs did their usual transition between introductions and first segments, their strong cheers followed by your own. Adding to points for style, the couple made little hand guns that were pointed at the camera. They were later on edited to shoot colorful hearts.

“So, guys, you’ve been dating for some time now” Jiyoon noted, looking at you with adoring eyes. The woman was in her mid 40s and always loved seeing such young but aspiring people happy together. It was something about these pupils that had so much weight on their shoulders, but found time for each other, that made Jiyoon’s chest feel warm. It’s probably exactly why she loved doing shows like these.

“9 months” You interrupted, trying to hide the excitement that threatened to drip off those words. Honestly, it wasn’t possible to remain emotionless while speaking about your relationship. The boy meant so much to you, that whenever talking or thinking about him, you’d smile.

“9 months, yet only decided to go public recently, how did that go? How did you come about making such an important decision?”  

“Well, we talked about it a lot ever since we got together actually” Haon spoke, the dark strands of hair falling over his eyes, failing to hide the raw emotion in his pupils as he spoke. Out of nowhere, the boy’s hand reached for yours and for the nth time that day, you let him hold it.  

“But I think that just after our collab came out, the fans managed to catch onto that little bit of emotion. That’s when we realized it couldn’t be hidden for much longer. So, as we appeared in more videos together, they kept on picking on all these little looks because you know, it’s impossible to hold all of them in-” The boy laughed, cocking his head to the side. “And then maybe I slipped and posted a certain story...”

“Slipped and went through the effort of putting a filter and timestamp on the picture” You noted, remembering just the exact moment when it all unfolded. It was a late Friday. In quest of breathing some fresh air, you walked out on the balcony, leaned against the balustrade and enjoyed the beautiful view. The full moon greeted you happily. Haon joined you on the balcony shortly after, but his steps were quiet, unalarming of his presence. From his point of view, your form was only a dark silhouette, contrasting the city lights and white city behind it. Without much thought, the boy snapped a picture, turning to instagram story and writing ‘late night inspiration’.

The fans weren’t slow to catch up. Fortunately, it appeared to be a good decision.

“We were with supportive comments even before going official, and when that accident happened, we decided to come clean of it. That’s what he’s trying to present an essay about” You answered the question with a sassy tone, rolling your eyes playfully at the other, earning a laugh from the hosts in return. Your boyfriend tried faking offense at being so nonchalantly interrupted, but the smirk that followed on his expression didn't wait to appear.

“And how did all of this happen? How did the relationship develop?” Lim questioned, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“Haon was actually there when I auditioned for the company. He wasn’t allowed in by the judges-” You began, trying to vividly recall the exact moment of your first encounter. Haon was shorter back then, hair curly and covering most of his forehead, reaching his eyes even. It was a wonder he was even able to see you audition through those strands and blurry glass. Haon wore baggy clothes, and you remember thinking that his outfit of the day was inspired by homeless fashion.

“Mind you, I was called, but I refused”  

“He refused and then stood right outside, watching the audition. When I came out of the room, he greeted me and we talked while I waited for my friend to finish her audition. We became friends in a span of 10 minutes”

“I knew she was going to get accepted, and when that finally happened, I was there to help her with all the burdens of the trainee period. Especially because she was trained to be a solo artist. We’re similar age, so I was there to be a friend as well as some kind of a tutor. Then, it all slowly developed from that friendship” Your boyfriend spoke with so much pride in his voice and you had to physically restrain from cooing out loud. Despite all effort, there was still a faint tint of red on your cheeks.  

“The two of you are people of great qualities, what are some things that you exceptionally like about each other?” Hoseok questioned, quite interested in the whole topic. He wanted the two of you to talk your hearts out, to show just how happy people could be when together. The man was an idol too and completely aware of how cruel the industry could be, especially towards young artists that tried living life outside of work. Seeing a couple like you, openly talking about the relationship, gave him some faith to believe in.

“She’s extremely selfless. She’ll first make sure everyone is doing fine and everyone’s needs are met before hers. Also, she’s very determined. If this girl has her mind on something, she’s not going to stop working until it’s achieved. If some things meet bumps along the way, she tends to talk herself through it-”  

“I do not!” You tried defending pride, but the words held no truth. It was a trait you were aware but definitely not proud of.

“You do. Personally, I find it cute, especially when you’re working on songs, composing or writing. You hum a melody and then explain it to yourself. Or when your tongue pokes out while concentrated, like this” Haon explained, carefully moving his tongue to place it between his soft lips, resembling a puppy. Although called out, you found the situation to be a great source of even more entertainment. Deciding to tease the boy further, you squinted and leaned in.

“No I don’t?”

“Yes, you do, exactly like this” Your boyfriend repeated the action, turning around so you could observe from different angles. Unfortunately for him, there was no affirmative reaction, and you only resumed staring at him. At this point, the MCs caught onto the game and started giggling silently, hands covering their mouth and trying to prevent the sounds from escaping.

“How? Can you please demonstrate again I didn’t see it” Just then, the façade broke and your voice pitched up at the end. A sneaky laugh slipped just in between the last two words. The boy looked at you seriously, taking a second to process the situation before gasping. His head shook in disapproval while everyone around laughed loudly. Your shoulders shook with so much power that they managed to throw you off balance and off the chair – almost. Almost, because just like always, the protective and reassuring side of your boyfriend was there to steady your form. With an appreciative look, you silently thanked him. Just a few more moments passed before you were answering to Hoseok’s question too.

“Haon... he’s very outgoing, to the point where I have to mentally prepare for whatever might happen tomorrow. He’s always doing something, always busy with something. Also, he loves to gift and surprise people, with small pieces of affection or big extravagant plans”

“Haon likes to interrupt me mid writing to listen to his songs and I really can’t complain about that because I get to hear all of the songs in their raw, original format” You tried to do the boy justice, although it is extremely hard to do so using plain, simple words. Your feelings went further than any sentence could ever portray.

“He’s very clingy and loves to show affection at any moment possible” To prove the point, you pointed towards the other hand that was securely in his. The hosts cooed at the sight, and instead of pulling back, Haon only caressed your fingers carefully.

“He likes to switch between English and Korean a lot, thank god that I understand him, for we’d definitely not be able to communicate properly if I didn't”  

Truthfully, it was possible to go on for days about your boyfriend. It was that huge space the boy had in your heart that held so, so many reasons for why it loved him. Deeming that the show wasn’t an appropriate place for your heart to write love letters, you decided to stop there, ending the presentation with a slight nod and look at the ground. The hosts took a few seconds to drink up this beautiful confession, before agreeing on moving on to the next segment.

“For every couple, communication and understanding are very important, right?” Jiyoon started, looking around as if to gauge reaction. Humming and nodding along, you agreed with her statement. She flipped the pages of the script, a little more obvious than Hoseok, and continued the speech. “Those who are close can understand each other without words, even, so that’s exactly what our first game is going to be about”

As if on que, Lim ran towards the production crew to pick up a a stack of papers. All of them had something written on them, but thanks to his broad form, the words were hidden from sight. Hoseok took it upon himself to explain the game, saying you’ll be explaining words to each other using only your body. In the first round, Haon will be the one describing, while you guess, and in the second, vice versa. Six points and above were considered a win, there were two passes and one minute per round.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, we have a collective sum of three braincells” Your boyfriend spoke, realizing that such a game maybe wasn’t one of his strongest fields. Laughing quietly while walking towards your position, you listened to the funny exchange between him and Jiyoon.

“Three work better than none” The woman tried encouraging the boy, patting him softly on the back.

“The problem is all three of them are hers” Haon replied, a teasing tone noticeable in his words. The older giggled, pushing him softly towards his own position, shaking her head while doing so. Lim stood a few steps behind you, holding the papers high above his head so the boy describing could easily see the words. The countdown began and in a matter of three seconds, you were thrown into the game.

A minute passed by way too quick for your liking. It was as if you’ve only had enough time to properly think about two of the terms the other was mimicking, when in fact you’ve managed to do quite well. Succeeding on guessing explosion, roller coaster and cute, with a pass on police officer, you thought you’ve done well enough. For the first round, you were very proud of the both of you. Now the team only needed to get three more right, to win the game.

Unfortunately, this word set appeared to be a lot harder than the last. Still, somehow, with incredulous amounts of effort and teamwork, you’ve managed to succeed on cloud, phoenix and leaf with a pass on machine. Hearing someone yell “PASS” sent both youngsters into overdrive.  

Cheers of celebration echoed throughout the wide space, as you all but yeeted yourself across the room. Succeeding appeared to be a huge accomplishment, even though it was just a simple game. You ran across the studio, occasionally throwing glances at the rest. Haon was wiggling his body like a spaghetti, making weird noises to emphasize his happiness. Once in arms reach, he lifted you off the ground and spun around. As a succession gift, the pair was gifted a Korean beef set, that managed to increase their already huge amount of happiness.

The next segment was calmer than the last. The MCs discussed a little bit more of your life and daily routines, still curious about how you were managing everything. They brought up some funny pictures and videos you’ve posted together in the past two weeks, and listened to the stories behind them – especially the video where you were running away from a flock of angry ducks at a local park, all while Haon was sneakily laughing and recording. Or the one where he was trying to make a certain type of pastry and managed to completely drown himself in flour. Of course, the picture you snapped then was immediately posted on Instagram.

When the hosts introduced the next game, your interest was immediately earned. Although alone, it actually was something you’ve practiced before, therefore doing it with your boyfriend shouldn’t be that challenging.

The explanation was brief and clear. You will be shown a yoga pose for exactly half a second and will then have twenty to recreate it as accurately as possible. Two executed poses are a success.

Apparently, this was supposed to showcase another side of your teamwork and compatibility. Just how the hosts imagined the game to prove your compatibility was beyond the couple, but as long as you had fun, nothing else mattered.

Feeling a rush of confidence from the last game, you stood up and approached the little screen that will be displaying the poses. Haon joined in and you were shown the first picture not long after. A gasp left your lips.

“Tell me I didn’t see that well” You whispered, surprise evident both in your voice but also eyes. Seeing your confused face, the boy was ready to explain, but upon noticing the clock already ticking down your precious twenty seconds, he realized there was no time for it.

“Unfortunately, you did, now hurry!” He said, already moving to mirror the pose of the man on that picture. It was easy for him to hurry, when his part of the pose was way easier. Carefully approaching him, you stood on his foot with yours, then looked back.

“I swear if you drop me-”

“Wouldn’t be the first time now, would it?”

“Just please don’t drop me this time” You pleaded, letting Haon grab the other leg by the ankle and slowly lift it up. Thanks to the idol training, you were quite flexible so the boy easily lifted your leg in the wanted position. Crossing yourself, you dared to push forward, screaming when the force on the ankle pulled you into a secure position and prevented the fall from happening. At that moment, your heart beat faster than ever. Extending arms forward, the pose was finished and you listened to the last few seconds tick away.

The second one seemed to not have put you in a wishful position either, but it was easier than the last one. You took the black shoes off while Haon executed the downwards dog, strengthening his back so you could easily climb up. Shifting all weight on strong arms and stepping backwards (and carefully) on Haon’s back, you stopped only when you reached his hips and were folded into a 90-degree angle. Once again, the clock ticked away, the MCs screaming ‘PASS’ and coming over to assist you coming down.  

It was only easy yoga, yet the both of you gasped hard for air afterwards. A weak fist of celebration was risen into thin air, as you sat down cross legged, still somewhat dizzy and disoriented. The camera made sure to zoom in everyone’s face, from different angles, eager to catch raw reactions. Haon on the other hand, although out of breath, was able to talk and stand up. He decided to go grab water for you, commenting on the experience while walking.

“I don’t know how it showed our compatibility, but it for sure proved how out of shape we are if we managed to get out of breath like this”  

You were given two minutes to calm down and have makeup checked (for the nth time that day), before the shoot continued. For the next, and at the same time last segment, you were seated again, speaking with the MCs about different goals and future plans. They allowed you to be as cliché and cute as possible, listening to the long bucket list of things you wanted to do together. Lim took a teasing approach and asked if you had any plans about the future wedding, to which your face flushed and turned a bright red shade. You were still pretty young, and there were a lot of things both had to experience and achieve before settling down; but it would be a lie to say that such thoughts haven’t crossed your mind. Haon decided to play along and replied with a laugh, saying that once it happens, all three of them will be invited.

The show wrapped up in a beautiful atmosphere. You were asked to perform another one of your collaborations, which was a slower, ballad song. Your hands stayed intertwined throughout the whole performance, only letting go at the last few lines. Then, you raised one arm up, meeting Haon’s just above your head, succeeding at forming a lovely heart.

The director yelled ‘CUT’ and the filming finished. Politely bowing to every one of the show’s staff, you walked away from the set, proudly holding the big set of Korean beef.

The next week, when the episode officially aired, you were nervous checking the reviews, still unsure how such a wide audience would react to it. Thankfully, as the two of you sat comfortably on the bed, in each other’s embrace, scrolling down the comment section, you couldn’t find a single negative remark. There were two million views already, and ten thousand comments, all of them filled with praise, delight and support.

“They’re nations new couple!”

“Look just how cute they are!”

“Their interactions are so precious; their chemistry is so strong!”

“Haonnie, we know you’re going to take good care of our angel!”

“They’re so close... I wish I had someone as precious as she does T.T”

And maybe, just maybe, that was all you had to see to finally experience full happiness with the boy your heart loved more than anything ever.

A/N: Here it is! My first request! Thank you so much for requesting and giving me a chance to write such a scenario <3 Also thank you for introducing me to Haon, i’ll keep up with him from now on  <3 Hope you enjoyed reading this!

#haon #kim haon #haon fluff #haon fanfiction #haon imagine #haon scenario #kim haon fluff #kim haon fanfiction #kim haon imagine #kim haon scenario #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #kpop imagine #kpop scenario #kpop #fluff #fanfic #imagine #scenario #kpop request #request

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #371

“some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses”

What is one song you feel as though you sing particularly well, if any? Probably none, lol. What was the last lengthy task you completed? I love these unique questions I've had lately, but damn, are a lot of my answers "I don't know," lol. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? I love floral and wildlife photography. Landscapes, too, and I have a great fondness for boudoir for reasons I've mentioned in previous surveys. I like taking nature pictures, mainly. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Hell no, that's a hard pass. I'm sure the busiest shopping experience I've had was like at the mall or something around Christmas, idk. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? NO. I DON'T. BECAUSE I CRINGE INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. I keep a lot of it for memory's sake, but goddamn, is it always embarrassing. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Um... the first thing I really remember is video games. I played Spyro like, a LOT, along with other childhood games. I was just really into gaming at a young age. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc., and when was the last time you felt especially cranky? THE HEAT. I become so irritable. I was needlessly cranky a few days ago for whatever reason. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? My legs hurting, more than anything. Also being hot. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? Ha, no. It's not gonna look fancy in my stomach, so whatever. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No, and I very much doubt I ever would. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No, but I tell her all the time that dainty nature tattoos would be THE most beautiful on her. When was the last time someone called you pretty? I think when I last updated my Facebook profile picture. Do you like the color pink? It's my favorite! Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? It came with this thin purple one. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Moon Baby" by Godsmack. Ever kissed someone your parents hated? No. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? I wouldn't *say* anything, I'd break down sobbing. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Yes: Jason and Juan. Juan and I dated for less than a day not all that long before Jason and I got together, and Juan was pretty upset. He was nooot a fan of Jason due to a shared ex-girlfriend. Jason, meanwhile, just didn't care. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? I think the saddest thing has to be my breakup, especially when you know just how madly in love I was with him and had endless trust that he would never leave, and then he was gone in a flash one night. The happiest is, in turn, my recovery from said split. I found strength in myself and felt hope for once as I learned coping mechanics and got a psychiatrist that was worth a shit in my partial hospitalization program. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? *shrug* Do you have a YouTube channel? Yes. I don't make videos anymore, though. Were you happy as a teenager? God no, my depression was awful. What do you do for your mom on Mother’s Day? Sigh. Not enough. I just tell her happy Mother's Day, give her a hug, and try to be an extra good daughter. Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? No. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I can do it alone (but only have once), but I like to bring my mom with me still. Would you have sex with someone of the same gender as you? I'm bi, so. Have you ever had a concussion? One or two, I can't remember. How many dresses do you own? Zero. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Yeah, my friend Summer has a darling leopard gecko. I want oneeeeee. They look so damn derpy and adorable, and their chill demeanor is something I really like in pets. Would you ever go bear hunting? No. Absolutely never. Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Drawing, for sure. At least you can erase stuff, and paint is just so messy. Do you like raisins? NO THANKS MAN. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month? I don't have a calendar. Are you racist to any race? Nope. Have you ever intentionally hurt an animal? I've given cats and dogs a small pop on the rear, but nothing more than that. I hate doing even that, but with the language barrier and all, sometimes it's the only way to get your point across. Do you own any autographed memorabilia? No. Have you ever dated a twin? No. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Oreos. Have you ever considered being a cop? Yeah, no thank you. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Maybe Logan. I thought it was very emotional and just overall a good movie. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: MY MOM. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: uhhhhhhhh Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Dancing, maybe. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips, for sure. It's certainly not my preference, but I can drink flat soda. Who’s the hottest guy and hottest girl out there? M-Mark Fischbach. :') Girl... let's seeeeee... maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy. GodDAMN what a WOMAN. ❤_❤ Do you ever trip over your pets? Yes, because he just looooves to follow me at my feet. What’s your relationship like with your exes? Aaron, Juan, Jason, and Tyler: nonexistent. Sara and Girt: great. What was the last thing you turned down doing? Going to my nephew's t-ball game. I always feel bad when I say no when Mom asks if I wanna go... but at least the kids know I just don't handle the heat well. Are you a party animal? Faaaaar from it, my friend. Who are you the biggest fan of? m-m-m-mMARKIPLIER You’re DJ for the night - first track to get everyone going? Uhhhh maybe "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K.? Have you ever been hit on by a pushy person? I think Juan was kinda pushy, but not to an uncomfortable degree. He respected what I felt. What accent do you find attractive? Most attractive, British. But I also really like Scottish and Irish. Also French accents in women I tend to find very beautiful-sounding. Have you ever had feelings for a friend's partner? Yes. What’s your favorite thing to do that doesn’t cost much? Drive around take pictures, maybe? Let's, uh, ignore the whole gas crisis in this answer. When in danger are you more fight or flight? Flight. Do you feel self conscious about a certain body part? *gestures to entire body* Have you been accused of being manipulative? Yes. Have you ever considered violence to solve your problem? No. Are you romantic? I personally think so. If you are a smoker, how long does a pack typically last you? If you aren’t a smoker, does anybody you are close to smoke, & if so, are you against the fact that they’re a smoker? I don't smoke. To answer the next part, yes, like my dad and stepmom. I wish they would stop so badly, like it's literally going to kill them both. Do you have more subscribers or more people that you are subscribed to? On YouTube? I'm definitely subscribed to waaay more people. Is there anything that has been drilled into your brain since you were young & you finally decided to stop listening to? How did it feel once you decided to listen to yourself over what you were told? Yes: "finish your plate." Teaching your kid to eat beyond their comfort can be very destructive, and I'm glad I never stuck to that once Mom stopped enforcing it. If you are currently in a relationship, what is one thing that seems to be unique or different about your relationship with this person, compared to other relationships in general? If you are currently single, is this more of a choice or is it more just the way things are going, not really something you chose? If you are neither “single” or officially in a relationship, what are your feelings on your current situation? I'm single, and it's just how it is. I know realistically I wouldn't tell what felt like the right person no, but it really is probably better that I stay single and keep figuring my shit out. Think of somebody famous that you have a lot of respect for. What is something that you really admire them for? To name just one thing I admire in Mark, his relentless "I'm going to do this no matter what" attitude is very inspirational to me. He lets like... n-o-t-h-i-n-g get in his way. If somebody were to leave a harsh comment on a survey you took, judging you on one of your opinions, how would you react? I'd get pretty self-conscious, just because I in general take judgment quite poorly. I obsess over "what if they're right, and you're just an idiot?". Are there any other sites you use to find surveys to take? What sites do you use? I mainly use Tumblr and LiveJournal, but in times of great desperation, I'll use Bzoink and just google surveys as well, haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Not sent, but I got one from someone I had no mutual friends with the other day. Safe to say I declined it. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Uhhhhh no. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Apples. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman has been to the vet once to get neutered (and I think shots?). I took Venus many years ago because I thought she had a respiratory infection. Thank god, she didn't. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at pet stores? The reptiles, snakes in particular. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a restaurant? Like, over an hour. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? Cavities and braces, yes. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? Probably polar bears. Like especially here, it gets so hot in the summer, and the poor things sometimes only have a bit of snow in the shade. Like... they can't be very happy. Especially when you see those videos of them playing in snow, and then you think about situations like our zoo here... ugh. What kinds of artifacts fascinate you? I really think old figurines built with like clay and stuff are cool. But all artifacts I find to be very intriguing. It's so interesting to see that the desire to create has always been with us as a species. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''killing in the name of'' by rage against the machine

[fmdxsujiarchive]

headcanon 019: “our songs” tracks word count: 1,231 words (excluding titles) ooc note: mentions of charlie and joohwan

little wildflower: for the first round, rather than coming up with something brand new, suji decided to stick to a sound that she’s known for. the prompt was introduction anyway, and she thought that nothing would introduce her better than a song that shared a similar vibe to her debut song. the first draft to little wildflower was written back around the time in love with someone else was written—circa 2018—and it had been brought back up to the surface around the time she was preparing for her first mini album. however, gold star found in love with someone else to be more compelling as a title track contender and asked her to rewrite the lyrics to that instead of fixing up what already existed of little wildflower. it was pretty deep down in her folder of drafted songs, but suji remembered its existence as she came out of the first our songs filming. the lyrics, the instrumental, the overall sound, basically everything screamed very suji to her, and that’s why she decided that it would be a good choice for an introduction round. she describes it as a song that shows off her roots as a soloist. the lyrics to it aren’t as meaningful as some of her other songs as she simply compares a broken love to a little wildflower: gone but never forgotten

arari: this is probably suji’s favorite track that she’s written for our songs. while on the outside it may not sound anything different compared to what she’s written before, the composition to this piece contains traditional korean instruments which was a challenge for suji. it’s also the reason why she only has partial compositional credits on this compared to the other solo songs that she’s written for the program—it’s not like she could learn how to implement those traditional instruments in two weeks. the actual mood of the song doesn’t stray too far from what suji’s songs already sound like, but the added instrumentation and the way the lyrics are also written in a traditional manner was supposed to be her way of showing contrast. getting assigned the color black was a nightmare for suji in the beginning, but the moment she decided to use historical elements and write a song that has her imagining the scene of a sageuk (historical drama), things started falling into place. the way she sings this song is different as well. there’s a little more depth to her voice as well as a rawness that she doesn’t usually include in her other songs. the overall atmosphere for this song wasn’t meant to be bright. it was intentionally meant to be dark and heavier just like the color black and while she would have liked to use even more traditional instruments, she thinks she did the best she could with the time and resources she was given

iljido: the third round was the toughest for suji because she’s actually never written for anybody else. the closest experience she has is co-writing go for the colla3orate project, but even that wasn’t as stressful. the fact that she went into the round without knowing who would be singing the song was beyond difficult for her. a habit of suji’s is to start out with lyrics; she always finds lyrics to be the easier part of a song. however, with this round, she began by putting the song charlie had written in the form on repeat. from there, she took inspiration for what kind of song the performer would like and tried to turn it into something. once the compositon came out, the lyrics came out pretty easily. the beat sounded like a lazy day, and so she decided to write about a lazy day. of course, she included her typical suji elements as well, trying to share the message that lazy days were fine and that they weren’t a waste. thankfully, charlie liked the ending product, and she thinks the older idol contributed so much more with her performance 

heart stop: the only thing she did on heart stop was write the lyrics since joohwan had told her that he already had a composition in mind. the idea for these lyrics first came when she first saw the words heart drop coincidentally while surfing the web. she can’t remember the exact context of it, but it was about someone’s heart dropping at the sight of someone so that’s what she tried writing about first. however, the composition didn’t seem to be a fit to lyrics that talked about a fluttering experience such as that, and so she switched the word dropped with stop and decided to write about an instance where someone’s heart simply stops beating around the person they once used to love. the mood of the song wasn’t meant to be about butterflies in the stomach or bells ringing upon first seeing someone. it was much more fit about the end of a relationship or the divided feelings that someone ends up developing when they can sense their attraction faltering away. from there, it took only about three drafts for the lyrics to be completed. heart stop is a lot different from any kind of song that suji had sung for, and she had to switch her voice a little to fit the mood of the song. she had to throw away sweet for bitter and tried to give her voice a sharpness that doesn’t come out in her love songs. not just any kind of bitter too; not the bitter of heartbreak but more like the bitter of realizing that all things can come to an end no matter how beautiful they once were

i go: this is the song that probably took the longest to write despite having the least amount of time to actually write it. by almost getting eliminated, suji had emptied any kind of burden or expectations that she had with the program anymore. she simply wanted to end it on a note where she’s proud of herself for pushing the whole way through and making it to the final. it helped to promote unstable mindset in the middle of our songs because it had her realize that losing the program wasn’t going to be the end of the year. while she started out without feeling competitive, the more she went through the show, the more she wanted to stick it out to the end. however, by the time she actually got here, there was no more greed for winning. the title is very one dimensional, but it is a great summary to what the song is about. it’s basically about her going. going forward and continuing to make music because of all the people around her that will continue to support and love both her and her music. while it may seem a little hopeless from time to time, it’s a song that shares the message that there’s always going to be a way out. at times, our songs felt like a tunnel without an escape. she would spend hours at the studio trying to come up with something and not feeling satisfied with it. but she made it to the end, didn’t she? that means that there’s always a way out and always a road to go forward no matter how much she tries to hold herself back. oh, and she personally just loves how beautiful the music video turned out

#( ♡ * // hc: you better know. ) #( ♡ * // queue: happily ever after. )

[gucci-slut]

idol. ⚫ life. 🔴 ship.

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This ship came out a little later than I thought, so I apologize heavily for it. I hope you like it @nct-crackhead-technology. Also, sorry for the length! I got carried away. I hope you have a lovely day, because you deserve it. Stay safe and healthy! - 𝓐.𝓡.

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【°✷♚𝕭&𝖂&𝕽 𝕰𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓♚✷°】

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𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖞: 𝐒𝐌 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

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𝕽𝖔𝖔𝔎𝖎𝖊 𝕯𝖆𝖞𝖘:

Everyone in the company knew your debut would be soon. The staff members in your audition had raved to the company higher ups of the talent you possessed. Skepticism arose, particularly because you were a foreigner. Although, as you trained daily and displayed your quick advancement in the Korean language, the company was ready to debut you. The company saw you as the perfect candidate when they aimed to promote the group more overseas, particularly the western world. A notion that had sparked interest with their involvement with Capitol Records. Your knowledge of multiple languages would come highly in handy. Some were worried about how the Korean public would receive you, considering you were a foreigner, but the company had faith. Afterall, there were already foreign idols with great popularity. Not to mention, no one could deny the star power potential in you. Everyday you trained, even in days that were supposed to be your break. This was your passion, it was your calling. One could not define in words the want you had for this dream. Other trainees admire the fire and talent you had. Many even asked for your help in areas they struggled in, particularly in dance. You had become quite a name that even established idols in the company knew who you were. Everyone awaited your debut. Success would be imminent.

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𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕬𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 𝐀 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟

Many had compared you to NCT’s & SuperM’s Mark Lee. You were destined for greatness, but your work ethic blew everyone out of the world.  The company was already itching to debut you with a certain girl group, and you were more than capable of debuting when the time allotted had come. The only thing that still needed work was your Korean. While you had a pretty good grasp of the language, there was still room to improve.

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𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖊: 𝐄𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐬𝐞

Eclipse’s are symbolic of exponential growth, and a time of rapid change internally and externally. A new generation of kpop is upon us, SM has restructured their entire company. They needed to evolve and branch out. It had been awhile, since debuting a girl group. The word “eclipse” fit perfectly with the group. You guys were the defining change. A totally different concept the company currently had, in accordance with their current female artists. Most importantly, your role as a foreigner, bringing change to the industry and reflecting the changing world outside Korea. Not to mention, it definitely fit as a Girl Crush term.

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𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕𝖘 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖕𝖙: 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡

Most similarly to 4Minute with a hint of 2ne1. The company wanted the same raw energy that emerged from NCT 127, particularly in their limitless, cherry bomb, and chain eras, to a girl group. As to define a complete change in the company, they felt a totally different concept than the ones they do was the perfect branching out.

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𝕹𝖚𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝕸𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗𝖘: 𝟒 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝟓 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.

Sort of like Yeri in Red Velvet. The girl group had already debuted recently, and the Korean public had instantly taken a liking to them. The song’s quality, the groups look, and the company from which they debuted played a significant role in their success. The company had waited to debut you as they wanted you to be performing at your best, and there was risk with promoting a completely non-Asian idol. They wanted a safety net. Although, the company had always advertised a “mysterious” member that would yet be revealed. That mystery brought more people in, it was the talk of the town. After their second comeback, which was pretty soon after their first, you debuted with them. You wowed everyone with your stage presence and talent. Most fans were already in love, and those who were not so sure yet of your fit with the group, could not deny the talent you possessed.

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𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕 𝕮𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖗𝖘: 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐝 (#𝟖𝐜𝟑𝟕𝟑𝐞) & 𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐭 (#𝟐𝐂𝟐𝟐𝟓𝟓)

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𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫, 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫, 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐞

Many fans had nicknamed you the “golden maknae,” similarly to Jungkook, because you were an all-rounder. You were good at everything. While you mostly took dancing and rapping, you had no problems harmonizing, and could take singing parts, particularly if the song was just singing. You were the best dancer in the group, it was undeniable to everyone. That talent served as one of the reasons for your position as the Center in most comebacks. Not to mention, the group would be targeted mostly in the West, and the company felt you would be perfect for the role of the Center.

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𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖊 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖊: 

A particular spelling of the spanish word, “reina,” which also means “queen.” A strong word fitting for a strong presence displayed by a talented performer and artist. It was also partially inspired by After School’s Raina. 

𝕶𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖓 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖊: 

A korean name was emphasized by the company for you to have. As a foreigner, they felt that a korean name would help you in the eye’s of the korean public. Eun-ha was chosen as it also tied in perfectly with your group’s name and concept. It means galaxy.

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“𝕶𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖆𝖘”:

People know you as a strong cool performer. When people talk about cool badasses in the industry, you and your band mates are always brought up. Not to mention, your impeccable dancing skills and style. Even veterans in the kpop game have noted you as one of the top dancers.

Your energetic and explosive energy makes you a great candidate for variety shows. The hosts love having you around, and the audience always note the great content you produce.

Your posted dance choreography and cover videos have gone viral outside the world of kpop.

There is a running joke about your duality in the fandom. On stage, you can be a calm, badass, and reserved. Other times, you can be loud and constantly teasing others, or you can be shy, clingy, and very affectionate with whoever is around you. Fans make constant memes about it.

On Vlives, you often share your favorite T.V. shows. Many fans tune in to see your recommendations, and will often offer their own recommendations to you. In addition, at fan events, fans will give you merchandise from your favorite shows.

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𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕 𝕾𝖞𝖒𝖇𝖔𝖑: 𝐃𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

Dobermans are commonly seen in your guys’ music videos, and it first appeared in your group’s debut music video. It definitely was used to emphasize the power and badassery of your group’s concept. When you debuted, you first entered with two doberman’s in your MV. Afterwards in your first stage performance, you did the exact same thing as the performance began. It became an iconic moment.

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𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝕹𝖆𝖒𝖊: 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

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𝕷𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝕶: 

Your band’s lightstick had to band’s colors. The head of the light stick composed of a moon and sun to emphasize an eclipse. There were gems placed on the actual stick, and in silver cursive was the group’s name. (Quick sketch.)

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𝕯𝖊𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖓𝖌: "𝐒𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞"

Similar in sound to 4Minute’s “Crazy.” It is a hype badass song, and you get a hardcore rap part at the bridge before your dance break. You also start the song in the first verse, before it leads to the main rapper. 

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𝕯𝖊𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕬𝖑𝖇𝖚𝖒: 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝

You partook in composing songs in the albums. Many of the songs represent the emotions you felt as each year passed in the industry. Dreams, angst, hard work, etc. The title tracks were majorly hype songs, while the b-sides were more chill, but still had a rap and hip-hop edge.

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𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕻𝖔𝖕𝖚𝖑𝖆𝖗 𝖎𝖓: 𝐔.𝐒., 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, & 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚

The company’s efforts to promote the group in the western world have been pretty successful. There are still countries the company wants to promote the group heavily in, such as those in Latin America. Although, the company was suprised to see how fast U.S. fans became enamored with Eclipse. Many suggest that having a complete non-Korean member, you, was a significant key to their quick gravitation. There had been other foreign idols, but it was surprising to see this company adopt one that is not Asian. Eclipse were constantly interviewed, in shows, and touring in the U.S. Eclipse had become a household name. French fans were just, or even more, enamored with the group. France claimed you as the idol queen. Fan meets were more frequent in France than the other countries. Your group was also doing great in South Korea, considering it was an SM group.

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𝕭𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕱𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘: 𝐍𝐂𝐓'𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐧 & 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠

They had known about you since your trainee days. You were always in the building, practicing every single minute. At times, they would catch you practicing. Taeyong was the first to make contact with you. He saw a lot of himself in you. He, himself, worked hard everyday to improve himself to where he is today. He offered you help, and you would gladly take it. It had become quite a routine for about a year. When he was not busy and he was around, he would dance with you mostly, giving you tips and critiques. The more you both hung out, the closer you both became. You felt strength and comfort in Taeyong. One day, he invited you to a practice session and Ten was there. You felt a bit intimidated, he was one of the best dancers in the industry. Although, you also felt ready to prove yourself. He was quite friendly, and seeing you dance, had him a bit caught off-guard and impressed. To add, he was very hard to please. You both clicked right away, and you found yourself joking and teasing each other. You all try to make time to see each other when possible. You talk to Taeyong daily through text, and always try to once a week FaceTime Ten.

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𝕾𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖉: 𝐍𝐂𝐓’𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐤, (𝐆)𝐢𝐝𝐥𝐞’𝐬 𝐘𝐮𝐪𝐢, 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐂𝐄’𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐚

What a surprise, who would’ve thought the foreign members would click instantly. There is already an established understanding and relatibility from shared experiences as being foreign and different. Besides that, your personality was very compatible with each of the members. The person you love to hang out most with, besides your best friends, is Yuqi. It is always a good time between the both of you, and you guys are quite close. You guys tell each other everything, and she is the one person, besides your best friends (which at times you feel weird to say stuff around), you can actually express your feelings well with. Sana saw you as a cute little sister, and you guys always ate out when you both could. Hanging out with Mark was always a chill time. You both liked doing relaxed things which departed from the traditional idol life.

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𝕲𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖕 𝖄𝖔𝖚’𝖗𝖊 𝕮𝖑𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍: 𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙

Both of your groups clicked instantly. Whenever you two are around it is always a good time. You love hanging out with the boys, and do your bandmates. It was like they were basically the boy version of your guys’ dynamics. Your closeness is super apparent that fans have spotted your group and theirs interacting and laughing in music shows. There is even a popular rumor that one of your bandmates is dating San, which is not true.

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𝕰𝖓𝖊𝖒𝖞/𝕽𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖑: 𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐕𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐘𝐞𝐫𝐢

In reality, you both were fine with each other. You both shared respect for the other, even if you were not close to each other. Although, many, many individuals would compare you to Yeri. Considering, your debut was a tad similar to Yeri’s. Fans would say you were both natural rivals because of it. When brought up the similarity in interviews, you both would laugh about it, and you would jokingly play along.

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𝕴𝖉𝖔𝖑 𝕸𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖔𝖗: 𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢

Not a traditional idol, but Jessi saw the fire you had in one of your performances. She thought you were great, and always appreciated the foreign representation. After a variety show together, you guys become quite close. In the show, she expressed how proud she had been of you, and saw the future of kpop in you. As one of your idols, you were enamored and awestrucked with her comments. She offered to help strengthen your rap game and lyricism. She took your skill from 100 to 120.

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𝕹𝖊𝖜 𝕱𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝕴𝖘𝖆𝖈: 𝐈𝐙*𝐎𝐍𝐄’𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧

You already had the admiration and respect for her, and she had the same for you too. You both had expressed how well each other danced in Vlives and interviews. When meeting for the first time in ISAC, you both immediately click. You both agreed to dance together at some point.

𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝕾𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙: 𝟔𝟎𝐌 𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐞

You only participated in one sport. You were only allowed to do one sport to minimize injury. Particularly, a comeback was soon approaching. You were fit as most idols were, but you did not have practice in other sports, so you took the 60M race. For someone who was not that sport-heavy, you finished in 4th place, which was good. You thought you were going to be last.

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𝕮𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖇: 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐕 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐆𝐎𝐓𝟕’𝐬 𝐘𝐮𝐠𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐦

As a publicity stunt for the two companies, you and Yugyeom had to do a dance cover. It was your first of many collabs. You were nervous particularly, because Yuyeom was a phenomenal dancer. You both covered 2 popular songs in a mash-up, and it instantly went viral. He was really nice to you, and you appreciated the pointers he gave you.

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𝕾𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖊 𝕻𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊: 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧

It was an iconic moment in Kpop history. It was a showcasing of the excellence from the older and newer generations. You danced with him to his song “Want.” Let’s just say, the clip went viral.

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𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖗 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗 𝕸𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖈 𝖛𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖔: 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐣

Eclipse’s popularity had grown immensely in the U.S. To push it even further, a collaboration was formed between you and Nicki Minaj. It was a small rap part and appearance in her music video, but it would definitely gain attention by people not in the kpop community.

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𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖘 𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖕 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍: 𝐍𝐂𝐓’𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐧

Ironically, you were shipped with NCT’s Ten. Sure, he is very attractive, but you were both more than happy being solely best friends. Fans would say you two together would be the most powerful dancing duo in the idol world. It was definitely a fantasy many had. It started when fans spotted you and Ten laughing together in a music show. Then, it escalated when a clip of Ten exploded where he was happily dancing and smiling along when you were performing. There were blogs dedicated to you two, and compilations. You both thought it was funny, and to joke around, you decided to add fuel to fire. In an interview, you said you thought Ten was one of the best dancers, and that he was your ideal type. Let’s just say that fans were more than pleased.

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𝖄𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝕳𝖎𝖘 𝕴𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖑 𝕿𝖞𝖕𝖊: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐳’ 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐜

This first became noticeable when in a Vlive, a fan had asked what his ideal type was. All the notable characteristics he mentioned resembled you very much. Fans quickly began to speculate you were his ideal type.

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𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖎𝖗 𝖀𝖑𝖙. 𝕭𝖎𝖆𝖘: 𝐓𝐗𝐓'𝐬 𝐇𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐊𝐚𝐢

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𝖛𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖙𝖞 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖜: 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐊

You were always participating in variety shows, your company always pushed you to do them. Although, one of your favorite times was in “Stage K.” Seeing fans from different countries, ones who were a foreigner like you, dance to your group’s song was a blessing. You were amazed by their talent, and had the biggest smile on your face.

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𝕸𝕮 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍: 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎’𝐬 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐚 & 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌’𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐞

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𝕾𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖞: 𝐀𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐬

Your image fit their standards to a tee. They immediately signed you as an ambassador in France and South Korea. One of the campaign videos was you dancing in their new sneaker and clothing lines. Because of that, you were mostly seen in Adidas clothing, which you did not mind. You liked their products.

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𝕺𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕬𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖘: 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐬, & 𝐓𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

You were very dedicated to your life as an idol, and not to mention, you barely had any time to do other activities. Most of your other activities would be in forms of collabs with other soloists, particularly Jessi. Although, it was no secret you were a great dancer. In your spare time, you loved to choreograph dances to other newer groups. You also made many guest appearances in shows, particularly when it involved dancing. Your Korean has also gotten much stronger. In your free time, you decided to aid the foreign trainees in your company who struggled to grasp Korean. In addition, you tutored your band members in their English and French. As a more recent group, you had not yet branched out to other more concrete activities such as an actor.

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𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕽𝖊𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐: 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟎'𝐬 𝐇𝐢𝐩 𝐇𝐨𝐩

Your most recent comeback is a more hip-hop influenced song with heavy raps throughout and an urban flare. It is still hype, but in a more cool and hip way. There is a lot of swagger throughout. Sort of like an early 2000’s hip hop/rap song.

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ℌ𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙 𝕽𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖉:

During an episode of Radio Star, one of the hosts had revealed a tiny secret of yours. They said that you actually had no intention of auditioning for SM, but actually had planned to try to get into JYP. You laughed about it, and accepted the statement as true. You explained that SM was a last minute decision you took when you had gotten the wrong audition dates for JYP while visiting Korea. Nonetheless, you said it was the best mistake of your life.

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𝕾𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖑: 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐌 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐮𝐭

Despite the abundance of love and admiration, not everything was one hundred percent perfect in your world. There were clear ignorant and racist haters. They solely disliked you because you were not of Asian descent, despite your beautiful personality and talent. Illogical rumors began circulating that your family had bribed the company for you to debut with Eclipse. Evidence was even falsified by articles to make the fake rumors seem true. As soon as the first articles were published, news spread like wildfire. Some people were quick to judge, while many had your back. Nonetheless, it had escalated to a point where you had to take a break for a week from promotions. SM was quick to act, and denied everything. The police were brought in immediately to display to the public quickly, the falsification of the “evidence.” SM even began taking legal reprimand on the individuals responsible for the scandal. The two weeks during the scandal felt like hell. You worked your ass off to prove yourself to the public, and some individuals still could not accept you. Isolation began to wrap around you, but not for too long. Because in the mess, your friends remained with you. They reminded you of the amazing and talented person you were. Not to mention, millions of fans on social media kept posting about having your back.

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𝕽𝖚𝖒𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝕯𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 (𝕱𝖆𝖑𝖘𝖊): 𝐍𝐂𝐓’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐠

You guys were already best friends, and would hang out often. One day, you both decided to go out to eat. Usually, you both went out later in the day, once the streets were not as packed. Wearing items that hid your features, you both met up at a private restaurant separately. It was a good time, it had been awhile since you had seen Taeyong. You were both quite busy. You both left separately, it was the usual procedure. Although, somehow, it was not enough. The next day there were articles of you both. Super blurry pictures of you each leaving separately with the headline “Eclipse’s REYNA and NCT’s Taeyong are dating?” The whole day you were more than mad, particularly because it was false. “At least pair me with someone who is not my best friend,” you would think. People immediately began either defending you, or spreading more lies. It was not long until your company officially stated that it were false. You even addressed that Taeyong and you were just friends in your social media accounts. But of course, the conspiracy theorists denied it. Nonetheless, luckily, it mostly died down after a week.

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𝕱𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌: 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧’𝐬 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐧

After one of your performances, one of your peers had informed you that Vernon was interested in talking with you. You raised an eyebrow at them before they asked if you wanted to give your KakaoTalk ID to him. You nonchalantly agreed, yet the inside your stomach churned a bit. Later at midnight, your phone went off. It was a message from him. You were shy at first, but later thought “screw it,” and messaged him. He immediately responded back. This constant back-and-forth went on until 2 a.m. He expressed how cool he thought you were, and wanted to get to know you better. The whole time you had a blush plastered on your face. You agreed. You both went on a few couple of dates. You both clicked right away, but we’re unable to talk or hangout more because of your frequent schedules. Whenever a date was possible, it always got cancelled because of your schedule or his. Too much time in-between messages and dates occurred. Ultimately, you both decided to stay as friends.

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𝕭𝖔𝖞𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉: 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐬’ 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱

It’s a perfect blend of chaos, business, and overly sweet love. As young idols, you both have a lot to prove to the demanding eyes of the public. Not to mention, you both have passion for your idol career, and take its strict rules seriously. You both don’t want to harm your own and each other’s careers. As such, your relationship is kept very, very secret. Not many individuals know apart from both of your band members and close loved ones. You guys don’t even dare to make eye contact when at an event together. Although, every time one of you sees the other perform, you’re both screaming and hollering mentally for each other. Because of the strictness and busy schedules, seeing each other can be tough. Yet, when you are two together, you both are overly affectionate. You guys do everything together for every minute you two have together. Felix will also randomly ask for a kiss, and you hug him at least every half hour. When apart, you two FaceTime each other daily at night, mostly before bed. When FaceTiming is not possible, you both always message each other to wish each other a good day and make sure the other is okay. You love his duality, and he also loves yours. You can never get enough of his voice and accent. You both came in contact with each other after you were added to a group chat that were all foreign young newer idols. Many jokes ensued in that group chat. Felix loved reading your messages, you always made him laugh. He was also funny, and sometimes, you both would just add chaos in the groupchat with your jokes. One day, he just messaged you privately, and it started from there. Both growing up outside of Korea, made you guys have an instant bond. Having him be fluent in English really prevents miscommunication. He genuinely loves you and cares about so much. He is always excited whenever he sees you.

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|𝕷𝖔𝖔𝕶 𝕭𝖔𝖔𝕶:|

𝕮𝖆𝖘𝖚𝖆𝖑:

𝕯𝖊𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖊:

𝕸𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕽𝖊𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐:

ℌ𝔞𝔦𝔯:

𝕸𝖆𝕶𝖊 𝖀𝖕:

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𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖔𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖕𝖍𝖞:

Real songs that would sound similar to the songs release by your group. 

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I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE ORIGINAL GIFS AND/OR PHOTOS USED. CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL OWNERS (IF YOU KNOW THE OWNERS OF THE ORIGINAL OWNERS, LET ME KNOW SO I CAN CREDIT THEM PLEASE.) I DID ASSEMBLE AND EDIT THE MOODBOARD, AND WOW’S, BANG CHAN’S, AND MINGI’S PHOTO.

#idol life ships #kpopidol #kpop ships #kpop scenarios #kpop blurbs #kpop imagines #kpop au #stray kids #stray kids felix #Seventeen #red velvet #vernon #got7 #yugyeom #yeri #NCT #nct 127 #wayv #ten #taeyong #mark lee #yuqi #astro #sanha #chenle #SHINee #txt #hueningkai #sana #taemin

[jeanvaljean24601]

Full-Frame Showdown: Canon R5, Panasonic S1H, and Sony a7 IIICanon, Panasonic, and Sony.

Japanese camera makers that have played a huge part in major advances in video production over the last 20 years. While they have lost some ground at the top end to innovators like RED, and to market leaders like ARRI, they are massively dominant in the budget range most of us can afford. And for the first time in a long, long time they have relatively comparable cameras in their lineup. The reason why it's the first time in a long time goes back to the beginning of the DSLR/mirrorless revolution. Each company really targeted different markets. Sony was ahead of the game in moving towards full-frame mirrorless back in 2014 with its Alpha line. At the same time, Canon was still pushing hard on DSLR cameras with an internal mirror system that could adapt to PL mount, and Panasonic was out with the very popular, but smaller sensor GH line of cameras. Not only was Sony out early with full-frame mirrorless, they then came out with the  a7S II which was a huge hit among filmmakers for its high resolution and great low light performance. For nearly a decade, the three giants were competing in different spaces. Panasonic was up against Olympus and Fujifilm for the MFT market, Canon was up against Nikon for the DSLR market, and Sony had full-frame all to itself. That almost changed two years ago with the release of the RF line from Canon, a series of full-frame mirrorless cameras built around a brand new lens mount. But the resolution wasn't exciting. It was a 4K crop, and it just didn't sing to filmmakers. In 2019, Panasonic generated a ton of buzz with the LUMIX DC-S1H, a very filmmaker-focused full-frame mirrorless offering that shot 6K video, could do RAW over HDMI, 4K up to 60fps, and created very pleasing images. Combined with the same color science and log format as the very popular VariCam line of cameras made this an especially appealing choice for filmmakers who frequently rented or even owned that larger cinema platform. If you were on a VariCam show, you could feel comfortable using the  S1H as a C camera or for crash setups. Now Canon is catching up with the EOS R5, which is targeted towards filmmakers with a completely new sensor that is able to shoot 8K internal RAW footage. Now all the big players have options that are broadly in competition with each other. The Canon  R5 does 8K RAW internally. You can shoot 6K on the  S1H, but to get RAW you need an external recorder. For Sony, the current "filmmaker" camera is the  a7 III, which tops out at 4K. In truth, though, we don't care about the resolution number as an end in itself. The key is not the resolution of the file that is created, but the actual measurable perceivable resolution of the final image. If when projected on a movie screen you can't see any resolution difference between the 6K and 8K, then does it really matter? Canon currently is ahead based on the 8K number, but we're going to wait for real-world side-by-side testing with the cameras to see what actually passes the most information along. 8K also requires lenses to actually resolve 8K, which might not even matter if you are shooting with a vintage cinema lens. If you are picking this camera and hoping to shoot with a set of old Super Speed primes or the even older and softer Cooke Speed Panchros, you may not see any difference in resolution at the camera level. Canon has Dual Pixel Autofocus II on the EOS R5 that uses "deep learning" to identifying subjects. Autofocus development is likely going to be one of the key battlegrounds between the cameras. This is vital since Sony has gotten a major lead going in autofocus with some truly impressive results. Autofocus that actually feels like a tool filmmakers might really appreciate makes the a7 III very appealing. Panasonic has a whole host of lenses custom-built for the S1H but hasn't pushed its autofocus hard. While this shouldn't be the main reason a filmmaker chooses a camera, it can be a lifesaver in an interview setup with a subject who keeps leaning forward and back, for instance. If autofocus is a key decider for you, you should focus your attention on who's really ahead of the pack: Canon and Sony. Panasonic S1H As a reminder, in the end, you can make most cameras look like anything. As Steve Yedlin points out, there is so much power in post-processing that a lot of what we talk about when we discuss camera color science is just "wine language." However, color science does matter somewhat on smaller jobs when you won't have much time in post. If you are shooting something where you won't be invited to post, or where it will be online the next day, or even later that night, you want pleasing color straight out of the camera. This category, to me, leans towards Panasonic and Canon. Sony has traditionally had the strangest color science choices, with greens looking a bit off and skin tones a bit shifted towards the orange as well. It's improved over the years, but footage from the FX9 still looks a bit too saturated in the greens for me, and the a7 III fits in that space as well. The first Sony camera to really look good in this area was VENICE. Compare that to Panasonic, who has done an amazing job rolling down the VariCam look into an affordable package. For that alone, Panasonic wins the color competition. While Canon looks quite nice out of the gate, its look is the "look of YouTube," and while it's pleasing, it's very associated with vlogging and the DIY space. Based on footage seen so far, the S1H is the winner here to me. It was also the first  Netflix approved mirrorless camera, despite Sony having had 4K cameras available for several years prior. Panasonic felt like a real contender with its 4K 60fps, but the Canon R5 stomps it with a 4K 120fps shooting mode. If you are doing sports, action, or even a certain kind of narrative filmmaking, that 120fps is going to be killer. Sony is carrying the rear here with only 30fps in 4K mode from the a7 III. But that will most likely change with the up-coming a7S III. Canon uses the proprietary RF mount. Sony uses the proprietary E mount. Panasonic uses the open format L mount, part of the L-mount alliance with Leica and Sigma. While that isn't the biggest industry group, I tend to prefer open formats to closed formats, and that has some appeal. However, the E mount has a more robust lens offering at the moment than either RF or L. If you need to shoot today, and you need a lot of lens choices, E mount is the way to go. But then again, most lenses can be adapted. h96 max x3The only reasonable conclusion I can make is that it's a good time to be a filmmaker looking for a camera around $4,000. There are three very strong choices that are going to give you amazing images no matter what. If you already shoot a lot of VariCam, the S1H is the obvious choice. But the R5 deserves a lot of attention and testing for its new autofocus, IBIS, and 8K RAW, which is a real game-changer at this price point. Sony isn't out of the game by any means with its arsenal of lens choices and famous low light quality. It will come down to what your personal expectations and preferences are in a camera. h96 max tv boxSo which one makes the most sense for you?

[sinceileftyoublog]

Wild Pink Interview: 99% Literal

Photo by Hayden Sitomer

BY JORDAN MAINZER

One of the breakout indie rock albums of 2018 came from Wild Pink, the New York band led by John Ross that found success the same way The War on Drugs did: embracing the heartland. You wouldn’t necessarily think of rural America when you think of Brooklyn, let alone modern-day Philly. But Ross keeps both his music and his real stories broad enough to apply anywhere. At first a punk band who released two EPs in 2015, Wild Pink dropped their self-titled debut last year. Right then, Ross immediately started writing what would become Yolk in the Fur. At the same time, he was exploring ambient music with his solo project Eerie Gaits, something that added to the sonic expanse of Yolk. (EG released a split single with Dondadi in April.)

When I spoke to Ross a few months ago over the phone, he was at home in Brooklyn, having just played the record release show for Yolk in the Fur. (They played 7 of the 10 songs, still figuring out how to duplicate the remaining 3 due to their additional production.) Two nights ago, they started a tour with label mates Restorations; they play Empty Bottle Saturday night along with Cleveland’s Signals Midwest. If you’ve seen Wild Pink before, they may be a bit different this time around, and not just because of their new songs. They’ve added a keyboard player, and when playing in NYC, a pedal steel player.

Read my conversation with Ross below.

Since I Left You: Beyond what might be obvious to the listener, how is Yolk in the Fur unique as compared to the debut or anything else you’ve released?

John Ross: Man, I don’t know. I feel like in the past, I didn’t spend as much time on the songs. Each song on this record got its fair share of time.

SILY: What was the recording process like?

JR: We went with Justin [Pizzoferrato] of Sonelab in Western Mass. We did two days with him. There are a few songs I started recording at home, but then I brought it to Justin.

SILY: What influenced some of the sonic shifts from the debut--increased use of synthesizers, space, etc.?

JR: I think I just wanted it to sound bigger. After that first record came out, I started using synthesizers on my solo project Eerie Gaits. So I wanted to incorporate them into these songs.

SILY: Did doing Eerie Gaits, apart from having synthesizers at your disposal, have an influence on the aesthetic of Yolk in the Fur?

JR: Absolutely. I love ambient music. I think Yolk in the Fur has ambient music in its DNA. Everything that I do has some roots in that world for sure.

SILY: Lyrically, the new record has quite a bit of a sense of time and place. There are a lot of specific references to specific places and things. To what extent are they based on events or people, or are they based more on ideas or feelings?

JR: It’s all pretty literal. Like 99% literal. So every time there’s a time and place, it’s nonfiction. Or at least coming from an actual time and place. Maybe there’s some liberties taken here and there.

SILY: How do you decide what stories you want to tell?

JR: I don’t know. It becomes clearer when you spend time with an idea, whether or not it’s gonna make it or not. It kinds of becomes clearer, if that makes sense.

SILY: What about the title track made you want to name the album after it? Or did that come in reverse?

JR: The album title came after the title track. The lyrics around the title are a good representation of what I think the record is about.

SILY: A lot of lines are broad and sweeping and suggest a long period of time, and it fits with nostalgic, expansive music. Can you talk about the interplay between the music and the lyrics?

JR: It’s not anything I’m aware of doing. I gravitate towards and dig emotional music. Not emo, but emotional music. Sweeping, romantic stuff. It’s just what I enjoy listening to. That’s how the songs end up.

I like cinematic music. My music, to me, has a cinematic quality, and the lyrics are pretty narrative and lend themselves to a cinematic feeling.

SILY: Have you ever written a film score?

JR: Yeah. I’ve done the music for some short films and a feature film several years ago. I write a lot of commercial music. So putting music to video is something I enjoy doing.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

JR: We knew that we wanted to have the same format as the first record. It’s the same dimensions, just a variation in the color and image. It’s an image from NASA of the Kuwaiti oil fires of 1991. In the same way I don’t exactly know why “Yolk in the Fur” is about knowing when you need to stand up and be tough, that image is just kind of looking at a huge representation of how shitty humanity can be. The striking image, at first you might not even be able to tell what it is, then when you do know, you’re like, “Oh fuck. There’s something seriously wrong with people who would do that to the planet.”

SILY: The shape of it almost looks like the Grim Reaper.

JR: Oh, cool! My opinion, at first glance, it looks beautiful, but when you study it more, you see the horror in it, which is a cool dichotomy.

SILY: A lot has been written about the difference in tone between your first two records, this one a bit more optimistic. How would you say that the new record balances between a sense of acceptance about the way things are and will always be and a yearning to make things better?

JR: I think the record is definitely more optimistic. I think the first record is loosely about how shitty things are in the world today. This record is definitely about that as well, but also appreciating people in your life and still trying to see some optimism in the world. There are a few songs on there about seeing something mundane that has some beauty in it. 

SILY: What gives you optimism on a daily basis?

JR: I love working on music every day. That’s huge. Honestly, my dog.

SILY: Animals may be less intelligent than us, but you never question their innate goodness.

JR: They’re pure.

SILY: Do you still identify with the aesthetic of your early material that’s a bit more punk and raw?

JR: No, but as soon as something’s released, you kind of just move on. Actually, for some reason, I just listened to the Good Life songs for the first time in 2 or 3 years, and it sounded like a totally different band. But I’m glad it started there. I’m glad it’s where it is now, too. I don’t really listen to a ton of punk music.

SILY: What's next for you?

JR: I’m writing another record right now, so I hope to start recording it at the end of this year or early next year at the latest. I’m also working on another Eerie Gaits record.

SILY: Do you have any idea what shape either of those records are going to take?

JR: I have some ideas--I don’t want to say too much and paint myself into a corner--but I have some rough ideas. I am writing quite a bit.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s caught your attention?

JR: Ken Burns’ Vietnam. I’m really enjoying the new Middle Kids record. I always like Bruce Springsteen. A lot of ambient music. I also just found this Ethiopian jazz guy I’ve been really liking, Mulatu Astatke.

Wild Pink & Restorations tour dates:

10/11 - Columbus, OH at Big Room Bar w/ Signals Midwest 10/12 - Cleveland, OH at Grog Shop (Signals Midwest's 10-Year Anniversary Party) 10/13 - Chicago, IL at The Empty Bottle w/ Signals Midwest 10/14 - Milwaukee, WI at Cactus Club 10/16 - Hamtramck, MI at The Sanctuary 10/17 - Toronto, ON at The Garrison 10/18 - Buffalo, NY at Rec Room 10/19 - Asbury Park, NJ at Asbury Park Brewery 10/20 - Brooklyn, NY at Rough Trade 10/21 - Philadelphia, PA at The First Unitarian Church

#wild pink #interviews #music #tiny engines #99% literal #hayden sitomer #john ross #the war on drugs #eerie gaits #dondadi #restorations #empty bottle #signals midwest #justin pizzoferrato #sonelab #nasa #ken burns #vietnam #middle kids #bruce springsteen #mulatu astatke #big room bar #grog shop #cactus club #the sanctuary #the garrison #rec room #asbury park brewery #rough trade #the first unitarian church

[bastardtravel]

August 11, 2018. Manchester, New Hampshire.

After seven hours on the road, pausing only to explore an Old Ones cult site, storm a terrible castle, and eat distressingly dry corned beef at a Greek diner that still advertised one of their menu items as “Michael Jackson’s favorite grinder”, we were in dire need of respite.

Establishing a forward operating base was our first priority. For my part, I can sleep anywhere. My bonfire days in the Frozen North frequently necessitated pitching a $10 K-Mart tent over gravel, then drinking bottom-shelf whiskey until you didn’t realize you were sleeping in a puddle of rainwater and broken glass. That’s not a knack you lose. It’s like riding a bike. The Girl was always more discerning, and became doubly so after our experience in Phoenix with the inept criminal front halfway house hotel. We agreed that she can veto any of the lodgings I book. Sometimes, late at night, I’ll hold a flashlight under my chin and tell her spoOoOoky stories about hostels in Ireland.

She insisted on the airport Super 8. I was hoping to stay in a quaint deep woods motel called “Unsmiling Jed’s Sleepaway”, attached to sister business “Unsmiling Jed’s Discount Plastic Surgery Silo and Chili Kitchen”.

If I can’t protect it, I don’t deserve to have it. That goes double for life.

A friendly foreign woman checked us in at the Super 8, then proceeded into utter bafflement when I asked for a first aid kid. I chewed myself up pretty good climbing Bancroft’s Castle, and I’d spent the last half hour bleeding into an oily dog blanket to avoid ruining my upholstery. I’m pretty sure that’s how plagues start.

There were no band-aids here, or antiseptics, or possibly medicine as a concept. There was a three gallon tub of hand sanitizer. I thanked her for the offer but gently declined.

We went up to the third floor. The hallways were lined with people sitting on the carpet outside their rooms, shouting and smoking cigarettes. The room itself was clean and the air conditioning worked. All my boxes were checked. The bathroom reeked of weed, which some would interpret as a bonus. I scrubbed my wounds raw in the sink, tucked away the precious cargo of wine and peaches, and set out to investigate downtown Manchester.

Streetlight technology has not yet made its way to Manchester, so we spent twenty minutes missing exits in ocean-floor darkness. It looked worryingly like Wilkes-Barre, which is not where one would choose to vacation, were one sane.

Downtown erupted from nowhere like graphic pop-in on a video game running at its lowest resolution. One second you’re in leatherface country, with nothing breaking the abyssal darkness but the occasional half-broken Jiffy Lube sign. The next, you’re on vibrant neon market strip, replete with hipsters and the homeless.

We knew we had hit downtown proper when we passed by the “craft grilled cheese bistro”.

only programmers will understand!!!! like and reblog if u get it

Since I am an adult man, grilled cheese cannot be dinner. Both “gastropubs” we tried, despite their bitchin Greek mythology names, offered generic terrible burgers and a draft list that consisted of Coors Light.

“I’m so hungry,” the Girl told me. “I’m gonna die.”

“We all will,” I assured her. “Soon.”

Yelp claimed there was a brewery five blocks away. We walked off the only lit street, into absolute, encompassing blackness. It would’ve been spooky if I didn’t always kind of hope some Putty Patrol mook would lunge at me from the dark while I’m far away from home, having told no one where I’m going and left no paper trail.

There were no incidents. No one was murdered in self-defense. No one knows what we did last summer. The Stark Brewing Company was in the basement of a grim looking office complex, and it was vacant save for two other wanderers.

We sat at the bar and ordered a flight and an imperial stout. I was pushing for finding an actual restaurant, but the Girl ordered “Penne with vodka sauce”, which was not the right color, flavor, or texture to be anything but penne bolognese. The Girl didn’t seem to mind. I ate a pulled pork sandwich.

The beers were warm, but I didn’t care. It didn’t matter what the beers were, so long as they were beers. And not Coors Light. The brewery themed all of their beers off of dogs, for some reason, which I believe to be the ideal business model. According to the bartenders, the brewery had been open for 25 years, but hadn’t yet received their big boom. I was outraged. The beers were excellent, and would probably be even better if they weren’t room temperature, and the taps were not only named for specific dogs, but also provided pictures.

To say nothing of the bathroom, which was covered in sharpie beer lore.

The bartender and waitresses swore a lot more than you would normally expect in this context. The Girl maintains they were swearing at us. I disagreed.

“They were swearing <i>with</i> us,” I mansplained.

“We weren’t swearing,” she countered.

“But if we HAD been.”

As I’ve grown larger and more sinuous, I’ve tried to cut back on how often I cuss at strangers. Cultural relativism is the understanding that not everyone grew up among the coalcrackers, and good-natured oaths like “how the hell are you” or using the fuck-word as a conversational placeholder, while subjectively soothing, can set off fight-or-flight in the small, soft, and bourgeoisie.

I try to maintain direct proportionality between my barbarism and my well-heeledness. Neither the wait staff nor the other two customers shared my bond, and the middle-aged guy on my right proceeded to tell me how his hometown of Denver, Colorado is the greatest fuckin’ city in America, next to maybe Southern California. Which is not a city.

We talked about our homes and travels for a while, then I got my pulled pork sandwich and they left. The sandwich was slightly warmer than the beer, which beat the alternative.

An armada of children came into the bar.

“Oh, shit,” the woman tending bar said. They were visibly teenagers, and on the wrong side of it. They had that gangly awkwardness you get around fourteen or fifteen, and if they were trying to play it off, they were woefully bad at it. There were also nearly twenty of them. It looked like a field trip.

People in their twenties don’t travel in packs of more than six. It’s hard to transport a throng, unless you have a party bus, and why do you have a party bus when you’re twenty-eight? You’re twenty-eight and party buses have always been sad. Get a job. Also, it’s hard to get that many adults to agree on something.

It can be done. You can say, “Hey, adults, you want to do some drugs?” And in a sufficiently sized crowd, you’ll manage to pull twenty or so who will follow you to your house or whatever. This is called an “afterparty”. It doesn’t go to bars at 9pm.

Have you felt out the social zeitgeist recently? Look at a random handful of current memes and it’ll be pretty clear that most adults consider socialization to be a required burden, like paying emotional taxes. “Going out” is the price of living in a civilized society. You’re not going to scare up twenty people, then put them in a party bus, then take them to an abandoned bar half a mile outside of where the actual nightlife is.

“Hey, we’re just about to close,” the bartender said.

A reedy blonde in a top that seemed to consist mostly of straps screeched, “But your WEBSITE said you were open til ONE!”

Screeched.

The bar fell silent. Well, more silent. The Girl and I traded looks, her horror for my delight.

“Uhhhhhh,” the bartender said, but with excellent elocution, as though that were the word she had deliberately chosen. “Okay.”

They sat the itinerant mall food court in an enormous corner table, whereupon they requested shots.

The waitress who had sworn at/with us the least came back to the bar and said, “You guys said you were from Pennsylvania, right?”

We nodded.

“Can I see one of your licenses quick?”

She compared mine against the obviously fake ID one of the tweens had given her. After a moment she said, “Yeah, you can see, the font is different. And the picture looks like it’s photoshopped.”

“Yeah, no one’s license picture ever looks this good,” the Girl said, studying the fake ID.

“Except mine,” I added. They ignored me. I didn’t take it personally.

The waitresses disappeared into the back. Five minutes later, the only dude working at the place was gendered into being the bad cop. He sulked over to the teens.

“You guys gotta leave,” he said. “We know your ID’s fake. We’re not trying to get fined. You gotta go.”

For maximum accuracy, imagine this said in Toby’s voice from the Office. Shamefaced, the flash mob of children dispersed.

We paid for our room temperature beers and left the poor, foul-mouthed brewery to close at 9:30 on a Friday. The Girl and I accidentally stalked the battalion of teens through the street, but only because we were all moving back toward the only lights in the city, not unlike moths. They turned a corner and vanished, presumably to find an arcade or laser tag or some sort of large carousel.

The Girl and I followed the sounds of some obnoxious bros announcing, “It’s like a fahkin sketchy ally, dewd”.

It was, in fact, the least sketchy alley I’d ever been in. Cat Alley was the best lit venue in all of New Hampshire. It was clean and well-maintained, and it was covered less in graffiti and more in an outdoor art gallery dedicated to cats.

There were more, but they didn’t all warrant a picture.

Portland Pie Co loomed from the endless darkness like a beacon in the night, hearkening back to those days lost in Maine during the Great Lobster Drought of 2017. We split a bourbon barrel ale which did me in. It was bedtime.

On the way back, toward the end of the main drag, a man made of pure light rode by blasting EZ-Listenin from his Tron bicycle, also made of pure light.

I can’t prove he wasn’t Jesus.

Heartened, we returned to the hotel, where no one was smoking or yelling in the hallway anymore. Excellent.

Next stop, Portsmouth.

Love,

The Bastard

Into the Abyss August 11, 2018. Manchester, New Hampshire. After seven hours on the road, pausing only to explore an Old Ones cult site, storm a terrible castle, and eat distressingly dry corned beef at a Greek diner that still advertised one of their menu items as "Michael Jackson's favorite grinder", we were in dire need of respite.

#alley #armada #barbarian #bastard #beer #bistro #bonfire #bourgeoisie #brewery #cat alley #cats #cheddar #children #cigarettes #coors lite #culture #doggo #dogs #downtown #fake id #first aid #forward base #grilled cheese #hipster #hostels #hotel #hungry #jesus #jiffy lube #leatherface

[pleasinglytherandom]

Soul Split Drabble #2 kinda sorta

Okay, some context here. In the manga, a month period happens before the gang goes to Egypt to send Atem off to rest. While driving home one day, I remembered this and had the random thought--”What were they doing in that period?” And for some reason, the first thing that popped into my head was the idea of this drabble. Realistically, the most I would do is reference this time period in story and come up with something relevant. But it definitely gives some good material and leeway to write with. I actually debated on writing this for a couple of weeks and finally decided “ to hell with it” and wrote this in 4 hours (with distractions) lmao. I figured this would still fit in the au, so eh. Why not? So...fair warning, this is absolutely raw and unedited, so ignore any mistakes. Because chances are I won’t go back and edit it on here lol. (I reference my past work a lot to see what mistakes I have made and try to better at it)

Still can’t tell if I made myself cry while writing this is or good not

Enjoy!

~~~~

Yugi and Jonouchi walked into an arcade one late afternoon. School was finally over for the day and they had no tests to study for. There was also no immediate concerns for them. Battle City has ended, Atem has retrieved his memories, and they have all the necessary items to send him back. The only thing that is to do is to make the trip to Egypt. In a fortunate way, making the money will take some time for the group to make this trip, so that meant more time to spend with Atem. The group all sat down and planned it out of how long it would take to create the funds for them to all go, and the answer they came to was a month. In that month, they all made plans to hang out whenever possible and split the time up as fairly as possible.

Today, it was Jonouchi's day. It has been a long while since either of the boys have played anything else that wasn't a card game. It has been a long time since they stepped inside an arcade in general. The changes were startling to both of them; nevertheless, it was a scene that was familiar to them. The sounds of buttons clicking and joysticks clacking, the sound effects of various video games going off from every corner of the room, and the ocassional whooping from some kid who beat a high score. Not likely Kaiba's high score, but a high score of some sort.

“Alright Yugi, where to first?” Jonouchi asked as he put a few yen into a machine. The machine dispensed a handful of coins and he pocketed them into his jeans. “Check out the newer games or go for ‘ol reliable?”

Their “ol reliable” was the typical beat 'em up games. They used to sit on the stools for hours, fighting each other with their favorite fighter. Sometimes they would even see who was the better Bruce Lee. Yugi would always win, but they had fun regardless. It was a simpler time.

“Let's go check out the newer games first,” Yugi answered as he retrieved his own set of coins. “But I also promised Other Me that he gets first play on whatever we decide to play.”

“That's cool and all, but no cheating! Don't help him on the controls or anything!”

“Ha ha, I can't promise anything Jonouchi-kun, we do share the same body after all. I can only promise I won't tell him anything myself.”

“Man, the one time I might be able to win at something and you can't even promise me you won't cheat...”

“Alright, alright, how about this? I promise on my honor I won't help Other Me or help him cheat as far  as me telling him is concerned. When it comes to my body and muscle memory, I can't help that.”

“Better.”

Despite their competitive bicker, they were smiling widely and laughing as they passed all of the machines. Any outsider wouldn't be able to tell anything was amiss in their lives. If one really looked hard enough, they could see the pain behind the glint in their eyes and grins. For the moment, they could forget the weight on their shoulders. They could have normalcy for a day.

That was all they really needed.

Yugi and Jonouchi looked side to side in the aisle of the games, noting which ones were new and which ones weren't. They rounded a corner and spotted a shiny pinball machine with bright colors and lights. It had a comical mascot dressed up in a princess dress and being carried away by some sort of monster on one half, the other half with another mascot dressed in a hero's outfit giving chase, a sword and shield in hand. They stared at it, attempting to make sense of the story the images told. A light layer of dust covered the glass, making it difficult to see the visuals clearly.

Yugi gave a pitiful smile and walked up to the machine and used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the dust away. Clearly it hasn't been used, but it was still taken care of to a certain degree. Jonouchi walked up behind him with curiousity, looking over his shoulder. Upon closer inspection, yellow letters was written to tell the player the point system and how many coins to insert per turn. At the top in between the mascots, bubbled characters was bolded with what the machine was called.

“ 'Save the Princess', huh?” Jonouchi read it out loud with minimal amusement.  He shrugged and leaned against the wall with one hand, looking back at Yugi. “Not very creative title. So you decided on this Yugi?”

“Yup,” Yugi nodded, a more genuine smile appearing on his face. “Every game deserves a play. What do you think, Other Me?” Yugi titled his head back and looked over his shoulder, the question directed to the spirit. Yugi smiled even more and laughed, then cradled the Puzzle in his hands and shuts his eyes, like he normally does to switch places with Atem.

Jonouchi couldn't see him, but he can feel his presence there. He used to not be able to tell, but after the Memory World escapade, Atem felt even more like of a separate entity that inhabited the Puzzle. He isn't entirely sure why, but he suspects that seeing him in his own body had something to do with it. Did it reaffirm the fact that he indeed was someone else? Is it because he emits the aura of a regal being rather than the aura of a different Yugi? Is it because he is confident of his own identity and it shows—or rather, oozes?

Jonouchi shook the questions out of his head and came back to the present, seeing Atem now standing there in Yugi's place. He jingles the coins in his hand while looking at the game, his eyes narrowed in contemplation. He looks at the contraption from side to side, pressing one of the buttons with his free hand, an eyebrow shooting up. He pulls on the knob that shoots the pinball out, then releases it. The thud from the action made him jolt in surprise, but his face turns into amazement right after.

“Are...are you trying to figure out the controls?” Jonouchi asks, trying to hold back a bit of a snicker. His mouth twists a bit from his effort, but a snort comes out of his nose. He knew that it would be amusing to watch him play more unique games, but his raw reactions could be compared to a kitten testing a new toy for the first time. To put it simply, he couldn't handle it.

“Yes, I am,” Atem mused for a bit more before inserting a coin in the slot, causing the game to come to life. He puts the rest of the currency in a pocket and rests his hand over the knob and pulls it back as far as it could go and releases, watching the pinball shoot out of the slide and bounces around. “Grandpa's shop has many games, but a pinball machine is not one of them, so I am not familiar with it or it's functions. Partner isn't that familiar with them either apparently.”

“All the better for me then! Makes the playing field more fair. I bet I'll beat your scores every time!” Jonouchi stands up straighter and watches closer, the pinball going from side to side on the board, sounds pinging when something is activated inside.

“Are you sure it's wise to make a bet like that Jonouchi?” Atem smirks, the competetive determination lighting up inside his violet eyes. He observes carefully, his fingers twitching at the sides on top of the triggers for the flippers.

“Wise? Who said anything about wise? I am making the bet because it'll be fun to test your skills at something you have never played!”

“If that is what you want, then that is what you will get.”

The pinball finally began to drop down into the middle of the board, then the bottom, and launched back up by the flipper. Fortunately for the King of Games, Yugi has above average timing and reflexes, and that is all he really needs for a simple game like this. His luck can cover the rest. The score board went higher and higher as Atem kept playing, the ball yet to drop to it's death.

Jonouchi clicked his tongue as he witnessed the score rack up higher gradually. He shook his head and crossed his arms, finding it hard to swallow that Atem can be good at something he has never touched. There was no possible way for him to find time to know these games existed, let alone practice. However, he couldn't bring himself to be mad. Atem was into it and enjoying himself, and Jonouchi was able to witness it for himself. It brought a smile to his lips, and that much he was grateful for.

“I would like to thank you, Jonouchi.” Atem said softly, the ball finally whizzing past the flippers, unable to be saved. His eyes look up to his friends', a gentleness that the blond was not used to seeing. “You and everyone else are working hard for my sake. Not only to help put me to peace, but to spend time with me and feel like a person of this time. To help me feel like I could belong on the last moments of being here with you. It makes me incredibly happy and honored that you all would do that for me. So, thank you.”

A lump jumped into Jonouchi's throat, and a burning sensation settled in the back. He swallowed hard to prevent any tears from coming, and he smiled sadly at the words. He knew they couldn't ignore the obvious, it was inevitable that it would come up. But, that was a part of their normal. The obvious was always there in front of them. They just ignored it.

If only they figured out what would happen sooner.

“I feel the same too, Atem.”

#soul split au #ptr drabbles #tbh this hints wishshipping and whatever the ship is with atem and jou #but oh well #it's a bromance #I'm a sucker for bromance #I'll look at this later #and probably cringe

[jonathandavidlange]

Comic Theory Pt. 2

Just Because We Can Doesn't Mean We Should.

Three Panel Technique

On my third book, GRAVES, I employed a technique of almost always using three panels for each page. After my second book, I wanted a format that would bring to the comic medium a space that the characters could inhabit, along with an emotional continuity that comics rarely possess. After doing some experiments, I landed on a three-panel technique. While writing the rough draft and storyboards for GRAVES, I happened to read Osamu Tezuka's Lost World and The Mysterious Underground Men. Both books were written in the late 40s and utilized a three-panel technique on each page. This gave me the confidence to make all of GRAVES a three-panelled comic, and I had such a good experience making the comic that I've continued to utilize these techniques for the stories I have written since.

In working with the three-panel system, I have wondered if I am truly utilizing the comic medium to its fullest capability. My goal is to stabilize the perspective and approach to comic storytelling so that techniques used in film can be utilized in the comic medium. Frank Miller said that he went into comics to make them more cinematic, and that he stays in the industry to make them less so. With the production of his Sin City as a film, it is clear that any comic style can be translated to cinematic language, making Miller's statement a moot point.

So why use the three-panel method utilizing fewer comic techniques (less panels, less word balloons, less sound effects, duller colors, etc...) to make the comic language more like film? Because I believe the mediums are very related and share a lot of the same principles. They share visual narrative principles and techniques like being a visual medium, the use of cuts or edits (shown by panels and page turns in comics), and the use of texture and tertiary story devices (such as sound effects, set design, and sound design).

Emotional Integrity

Film consistently achieves a level of depth and drama that is very rare in comics. Every year there are multiple films that move me deeply and push the medium forward in daring and personal ways. In an average year there is rarely even one comic that moves me as much as five movies that have come out that year. From self-produced to indie to Marvel and DC--every year I am hard-pressed to find a comic that resonates with me to the same extent as current films. (Some examples of what came out the year I wrote this, 2016: Captain Fantastic, Moonlight, Manchester By The Sea, Neon Demon, Nocturnal Animals, and Arrival to name just a few.)

Imagine a year in comics where there were several comics that achieved a level of specific and personal emotion like the film Moonlight, written and directed by Barry Jenkins. In this film we follow one man, Chiron, who is played by three different actors. We see him grow up and encounter all of the complexities of living in Miami. We also see him struggle with his mother as a drug addict and try to navigate life with his father figure who is a gentle and loving drug dealer. What could easily become a niche art-house film is instead universal because of its approach to heartache, identity, and family. It is constructed in the most professional and wonderful way. Everything converges to make one fantastic story that washes over you, and I would dare anyone to not be shaken emotionally by it.

Some examples of earnest, raw, and nuanced intelligent emotion in comics includes contemporary comic artists Aidan Koch and Austin English as they achieve an abstract, emotionally-rich level of storytelling. In the graphic novel by Sam Alden It Never Happened again: Two Stories (2014), it is raw and powerful, yet refined and subtle. The emotional intensity and keen observation of human interaction and existence is profound and completely on par with the most understated and nuanced of films and novels. There are indie masters like Terry Moore and Alan Moore who consistently have vivid characters and build rich worlds. Masters of the past like Osamu Tezuka and Harvey Pekar continually tapped into genuine human emotion and shared insight into the human condition. Recent superhero stories by Geoff Johns, Justice League (2012), and Scott Snyder, Batman (2012), often capture the fun and energy one had when reading superhero stories as a child. They both add layers of humanity to superhero stories that are often stock and cold when written by others.

People may argue that graphic novels, specifically biographical stories, do achieve the same level of emotion that a work like Moonlight achieves. I cannot deny subjective emotion that wells up in a reader. But I can argue technique and structure. Using the example of body-horror stories, stories that focus on the fragility and decay of the human body, the structure and depth of character in a graphic novel like Charles Burns’ Black Hole (2005) cannot compare to a film like Andrej Zulawski's Possession (1981).

Before I jump in, it needs to be said that people may also argue that even comparing stories within the same sub-genre is like comparing apples to oranges. But I disagree. I believe Dracula (1931) can be compared to The Shining (1980). Two films within the horror genre (not of the same sub-genre), but with very disparate stories. Even still, the central focus of blood, family, and control of one's mind could easily spark thoughts of comparison and contrast.

Black Hole's structure jumps around, and we never focus on one specific personal conflict or really get to know even one character very thoroughly. We get more of a wide vantage point in the story. Everything is skin deep. Whereas Zulawski's Possession structure focuses on a family and places them in a familiar and terrifying backdrop: West Germany with the wall as a large and looming presence, almost a character in and of itself. Possession gets under your skin, you become part of it's mania. Black Hole appears to be more interested in a scattershot of characters and experiences. Burns’ story takes the analogy that body-horror innately brings with it and uses it to focus on a coming-of-age story in high school. This is an obvious metaphor that does not have much depth to mine. The depth of one character’s disease is never felt because it is never directly penetrated to the “basement floor” of a character, and, because of this, I found Burns’ story forgettable. Zulawski’s Possession, on the other hand, starts in the middle of a story we know nothing about. Everyone is acting strange and the locations they inhabit are equally bizarre as well as bare. As we get into the film, the reason for the strangeness becomes deeper and deeper, more personal, and alienating. By the end of the film, our head is spinning with what is real and what is fake: both in what we are seeing, but also in a relational context. The film is about alienation of the self, of the other--family, friends, and everyone else, of a career, and of the state. It is an incredibly complicated, nuanced, and personal film. It’s effect stays with you and every time you revisit another layer is revealed.

Structure

The reason that I use a three-panel, per page technique is because I feel one of the primary things missing from comics is a structure in which to set the narrative so other aspects of storytelling can shine and provide layers to the plot and characters within. An example of some very rare techniques to find in a comic that are commonly utilized in film are consistent frame composition, understandable perspective of a location as well as knowing where a character is within it, a steady and consistent flow from panel-to-panel--that does not exclusively utilize close-ups with bare backgrounds--like smooth and seamless editing does in a great film.

Something nearly all comics have in them consistently is a plethora of random panels. Randomly placed, randomly sized, and often framed very close or showing little detail beyond the character at the focal point. Comics can be hard to read for the uninitiated and feel like the story is being told in a randomly presented and ordered way. From superhero to indie, this is just how comics are made. Good questions to ask a writer or artist of a comic (or to think about while reading any comic) is why is that panel placed right there? Why is it that size? Why is it that shape? Why is it focusing on that character or action and nothing else? What else is happening in the environment around the character I am looking at, and why can’t I see it? Search Youtube for a video essay on any famous director, and you will find a plethora of video essays describing why Stanley Kubrick, Wes Anderson, John Carpenter, or Chantal Akerman--to name a very few--shot and edited the way they did. I dare anyone to find a video essay on the structure of a very famous book like Alan Moore's From Hell (1999). (As of the writing of this I found several surface level reviews of From Hell, but not a substantial essay. For comparison there are at least five essay/theory videos on the first page of Youtube for John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982).)

Why is a plethora of seemingly random sized panels a poor layout strategy for a comic? It’s not. There are a multitude of comics that use this format to an amazing affect. But unless you are Osamu Tezuka, Dave Sim, Gabrielle Bell, Terry Moore, or Dash Shaw, odds are your comic will be cluttered, confusing, bloated, and underutilized.

Comics Vs. Novel Vs. Film

When read, a comic book is spread out over two full pages at once. This lets the reader subconsciously see both of the pages at once and in part. The reader can see what is coming, but having not yet read the two pages, there is no context for the information they have. This is an enormous advantage over film. Cinema is ruled by time and must share its information clearly, consistently, and adequately. If the information in the film is not delivered in this fashion, the story will come across too fast, too slow, too jumbled, or too confusing. A film tries its hardest to keep you under its spell, and when a component is off, at any time, you will be thrust out of the film.

Prose is hindered because it lives inside the reader’s head, and it’s easy for an author to digress down countless rabbit holes often muddying up a plot with too many details and too much information. A film is hindered because it has such a brief time to tell it’s story it must often rush through the details, leaving out many sequences from which the novel was derived. Comics have the opportunity to use techniques from both mediums, and use them better. The comic book can utilize the freedom and tools found in both novels and film. It can use prose to describe just as easily as it can use an image to tell the same story. It can use whatever it needs to to make the story clearer, more emotionally resonant, and intellectually stimulating.

A novel works very hard at communicating what an image can say instantly. A novel is not bound by time or physical space to work within, like a film. And unlike a comic it can and must describe, in subjective prosaic detail, what the author sees and intends for the reader to see. A novel is a unique and subjective experience because the format and structure of a novel can be radically different from author to author. A film has a given structure at which every filmmaker must work under. A novel has proven writing strategies and guidelines, but given that, Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow (1973) is a radically different experience compared to reading C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia (1950). Watching Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) is narratively very different than but structurally very similar to Pete Docter’s Monsters, Inc (2001). The difference between authors can be like the difference between a grand feature film William Wyler’s Ben Hur (1959) and a home-made five-minute-long Youtube video. Sure, they are both made by using a video camera, but beside that they couldn’t be more different.

Time

More than film, comics share a close relationship with television. Shows are often released a week at a time using individual episodes to sculpt the narrative arc of a season to tell one long story. This is very similar to what comics do, but instead they come out monthly, with less time to tell their story, as the average comic is roughly thirty pages--the average drama TV show is 45-60 minutes. In this way it could be said filmed narrative is more efficient than comics. But if you read a story by a master comic maker like Osamu Tezuka, every panel will give you so much uncluttered information, that the story doesn’t feel rushed or incomplete.

Another advantage the average TV drama has over monthly comics is that they are made and released in seasons. They are given a break to re-adjust, get some distance from, and fine-tune the following continuation of the narrative. Comics are typically unending monthly narratives. They are often made as quickly as possible, with little time to flesh out and iron out narrative and artistic wrinkles. If comics were released as seasons, with a proper amount of time to give space and breathe to the creative process, the average quality and it’s given control of a book would increase. Imagine a show like Breaking Bad (2008) never having any break between seasons. The writers, directors, and actors would become so exhausted and burned out. It would be easy to assume they would start viewing the process of the making of the show as a hill to climb and complete, instead of a journey to explore and spend time with. Comics rarely have this luxury.

No Right Way

Obviously, there are no “right” ways to make a comic, just like there is no “right” way to make a film, TV show, or write a novel. But over the decades of each of these mediums’, their evolution has increased and allowed for radically diverse approaches of creation. Comparing the short films of the Brothers Quay to a director like Stanley Kubrick is amazing in the radical spread of approach, sensibility, and sheer variety of perspective. Comparing a superhero story from the 30s to that of one of present day, or even comparing a contemporary superhero comic to the average contemporary indie comic, one will not find much difference in narrative content, structure, or approach to art.

I believe the three-panel technique is a way to address this common lack of growth in emotional richness and depth as well as structural complexity and integrity. By unifying the approach to panels, by focusing on perspective, and by providing a space for unique and specific location design the average comic reader will not be concerned with trying to keep up with a comic and what is going on in it. The reader will instead be enveloped by the story and art and get lost just like one does with a good novel or good filmed piece of art.

Final Thought

A final note on a unique aspect of comics is its two-fold use of image as a lexicon and comics as writing. Every day we see so many images and signs that we don’t even notice the majority of them any more. All it takes is the octagonal shape and red color, and we know we are to stop our car. All we need is a triangle on a remote, and we know that means “play,” just as a square means “stop.” We see stripes and patches of color, and we know it’s a country’s flag. These make up a lexicon of images that mean and communicate concrete thoughts and ideas--as in reading the combined image of letters spelling out “S-T-O-P” in sequence, we know exactly what to do.

In much the same way, comics are a powerful medium that often utilizes narrative and visual information, and all within a glance. See a costumed character flying with a fist outstretched, and we know this is a hero. If we see a figure with their head tilted down, eyes looking straight ahead while smiling, we know this is the villain. Film cannibalizes itself, referencing shots from films of the past, providing more layers and context to both shots. Film can’t take something like a simple shape, like a character’s body, or color in a rapid glance and tie it to a narrative that has complexity and purpose in the same way that a comic can. Film will always be locked into figures, stances, photographic composition, mise en scene, and editorial motion. Comics can and do deal with a wealth of symbols and images that are varied and unlimited. These symbols and images can be used in a narrative with an added layer of depth because of the use of image as lexicon.

When writing, like when playing an instrument, inspiration can strike, causing a speed and emotion to be felt, portrayed, and converted into art. Jack Kerouac’s prose, Thelonious Monk’s arpeggios, Allen Ginsberg’s poems, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s paintings--comics can achieve this level of spontaneity and locked-in emotion. Treating comics less like a piece of marble or a wooden chair and more like the sketch of a landscape or the initial draft of a song would be a healthy step in the right direction.

Comics can achieve something as close to the heart, as common, and as intimate as writing. Utilizing a lexicon of images to provide narrative information and context, comics can be written--not just drawn. The images themselves can be the words, and they can be written passionately, powerfully, and personally. They can be grand and heroic. They can be small and proletariat. They can be short, simple, and minimal. They can be complex, difficult, and long. Comics are amazing because they define what they are. They are cinematic. They are literate. They are visual. They are narrative. They are art. They are ours.

[sciencespies]

Remembering Julia Child

https://sciencespies.com/history/remembering-julia-child/

Remembering Julia Child

When Julia Child was asked about the design of her home kitchen in 2001, she explained: “It’s certainly the soul of our house, and that’s one reason Paul [her husband] designed it the way he did with nice colors. It’s an attractive room, I think. It’s a work room that’s good looking.”

Many people heartily agree. Over the years, visitors to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C., where Julia Child’s kitchen now resides as a popular exhibit have inquired about the exact names of the blue and green hues of the cabinetry. Not surprisingly, passionate admirers of America’s most popular and preeminent celebrity chef want to paint their kitchens in honor of their culinary hero.

The specific names of the blue and green paint and the manufacturer that the Childs used were sadly lost to history. But after the museum’s intrepid designers examined the cabinets and compared them to paint chips from various manufacturers, they determined that the blue-toned cabinets are close to Benjamin Moore’s “Covington Blue” and the green-toned pieces align with Benjamin Moore’s “Sherwood Green,” or possibly “Stem Green.” Assuming that the cabinets were likely affected by kitchen steam, cooking oils, cleaning solvents; and, perhaps even fading due to the room’s abundant seasonal sunlight, we still couldn’t know with 100 percent certainty.

Julia Child’s kitchen (above, click to discover more) was “certainly the soul of our house,” she said. “And that’s one reason Paul designed it the way he did with nice colors.” (Jaclyn Nash, NMAH)

Then, in 2013, as luck would have it, a craftsman who had refinished the kitchen’s butcher-block countertops at the Childs’ home in Cambridge, Massachusetts, visited the American History Museum with his wife. He reported that in the late 1980s, he and a local painter worked together in the kitchen, sprucing it up for a special occasion. I seized upon the opportunity to find out if the painter had remembered the precise paint colors used on the cabinetry. He said he’d try to find out. He also admitted with a twinkle in his eye to having tucked his lunch-time McDonald’s burger wrappers in behind Julia’s stove and wondered if we’d come across them. We hadn’t.

Several weeks later I received an e-mail with a most appreciated nugget of information: the painter had used Benjamin Moore Satin Impervo oil base paint and made up the color on the spot using cobalt blue with some yellow tint and a few drops of raw sienna. He added that, were he to do it again, he would have used an eggshell finish.

Julia Child visits her kitchen after it was moved to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History in August 2002.

(Tim Sloan/AFP/Getty Images)

Visitors often ask about the machine beneath the telephone on the counter. In large bold letters, it is marked “Do Not Move This Machine.” A small dishwasher, perhaps? The unit is an icemaker, an especially important machine used in the 1990s when the kitchen became a set for the chef’s three television series: “In Julia’s Kitchen with Master Chefs” (1993-1995), “Baking with Julia” (1996-2001), and “Julia and Jacques Cooking at Home” (1998-2000). Television crews recorded multiple episodes over the course of a few intense weeks. Throughout the shoot there was a lot of food to keep fresh, thus the need for a reliable source of ice.

Among the artifacts that Julia donated to the Smithsonian is a photo album containing snapshots. These were taken in February and March 1998 when she and Jacques Pépin taped 26 of the many shows they did together. The photographs reveal the chaos of her home when the show was being produced—piles of dishware, coolers of food and stacks of cookware, linens and cutlery. The prep work was done in the cellar, while the formal dining room became the control room. Some 25 crew members filled the house performing their roles in making sure the set was dressed, the ingredients were at hand, the talent had hair and makeup in place, and the equipment was ready to roll. The snapshots of food—from fish to vegetables to various cuts of meat—provide ample evidence of the need for lots of ice.

When the curatorial team, Rayna Green, Nanci Edwards, and I first visited the 89-year-old Julia in August 2001, we didn’t know what to expect. Many visitors have asked, did she cook for us? We knew she was still very much involved in her own work, and we wanted to keep our disruption of her routine to a minimum. Besides, she already had other commitments for lunch and dinner during our visit, so the three of us headed out for lunch in the neighborhood and, at day’s end, happily had dinner in Cambridge.

In 1977, when this photograph of Julia Child was taken, she was working on a new television series, “Julia Child & Company.” The celebrity chef was very much in the public eye, having been featured on the cover of People magazine in 1975.

(NPG, gift of the Estate of Hans Namuth © Hans Namuth Ltd.)

Things were a bit different when we returned that September to interview Julia along with her video crew from New York. We arrived at her home on September 11, 2001, just as the terrorist attacks were taking place in New York, Washington, D.C. and later on an aircraft flying over Pennsylvania. As Julia entered the kitchen where the interview was to take place, she encountered all of us, shocked and shaken, and wondering how to contact our families in Manhattan and D.C. Ever the professional, Julia suggested we continue the work we came to do, and recommended we take breaks whenever needed.

The kitchen soon started feeling a bit cozier, a bit homier, a bit safer and more secure as the aroma of something cooking enveloped the room. A pot of veal stew had been put on a low burner and by lunchtime, it was ready to eat, along with a green salad, and a crusty bread with butter.

As we sat around the formal dining room table (alas, the kitchen was filled with our equipment), Julia explained that the delicious lunch was actually leftovers from a special meal made in her honor the previous evening. The meal, prepared by members of a professional culinary and education organization, Les Dames d’Escoffier, including several female chefs from Boston and Providence, restored us and helped us to complete our work on that difficult, dreadful day. And it was Julia’s calm demeanor, her steady and engaging conversation, and her enormous good will that nourished us in ways we would never forget.

The exhibition,“Food: Transforming the American Table,” home of Julia Child’s Cambridge kitchen, at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C., will be closed for renovations September 3 through October 24, 2019. New displays coming this fall include stories on migration and food, America’s brewing history, a history of diets and dieting, and the emergence of Mexican-American vintners.

#History

#History

[adorkablephil]

Fic: Happily Ever After 8 (Epilogue)

Title: Happily Ever After Rating: Teen (for Dan’s language, as usual) Word Count for This Chapter: 1,569 Summary: Dan proposes marriage, but Phil’s reaction isn’t quite what he’d been expecting or hoping for. Genre(s): Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposals, Gay Marriage, Commitment, Relationship Issues Author’s Note: Thank you to @agingphangirl and @inkyhowlter for all their support and help with this fic throughout, but also specifically for giving me feedback on this epilogue. I was feeling awkward about it for some reason, and their encouragement really helped. Also available on AO3 here

[Masterlist of all “Happily Ever After” chapters on Tumblr]

Epilogue

They first met Maya when she was four years old.

The process to get approved as adopters had taken almost a year, and then they’d spent another year waiting for the adoption agency to choose a match for them. They went through a lot of interviews, and a lot of forms, and a lot of training courses, and a lot of analyses by various bureaucrats regarding their fitness to be parents, and a lot of personality assessments to decide which kind of child would be best suited for them.

And then they finally got to meet Maya.

She didn’t seem nervous at all that first day, but Dan and Phil were both terrified that the meeting wouldn’t go well. What if she didn’t like them?

She seemed immediately fascinated by Phil’s skin color. “You’re so white!” she exclaimed, climbing shamelessly onto his lap and pressing her little hand to his cheek, her face alight with excitement at the contrast of her dark skin against his paleness.

Dan laughed. “Yup. Phil’s probably the whitest person you’ll ever see.” He grinned at his husband.

Phil was watching Maya with wide eyes. “Would it bother you to have a daddy who has white skin?” Clearly he was worried that Maya would prefer a parent who looked more like her, that she wouldn’t want to be adopted by people of a different race.

Maya just shrugged. “I like it,” she proclaimed. “You look like snow. I like snow.”

Phil had smiled at her. “I like snow, too. Do you make snow angels?”

Maya nodded eagerly. “Will it snow today?”

Her small hand was still pressed to Phil’s cheek as if she had forgotten the intimate contact. Phil told her sadly, “Not for a couple months yet, I think. But maybe when it does, we could make snow angels together.”

She nodded again. “I bet you make really big snow angels.”

Dan and Phil both laughed at that. They were like titans compared to this adorably pocket-sized child.

The social worker observing the visit had brought some toys, and Maya played with them a bit. She seemed to prefer the action figures to the dolls, though sometimes she made them interact with each other in little conversations that often also included stuffed animals. Dan thought she’d make a good YouTuber, coming up with her skits and scenes. The stuffed bear seemed to be leading a few of the action figures on some kind of adventure.

At some point, Dan decided to ask the question he’d been most hesitant about. Maya was happily engaged in tying and untying Phil’s shoelaces. Dan was pretty sure she was better at it than Phil was. “Maya?” She looked up at him from where she was sitting on the floor. “How would you feel about having two daddies instead of a dad and mum?”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, looking deep in thought, then straightened her spine a bit and said solemnly, “That depends.”

“What does it depend on?” Dan asked patiently, aware of the social worker listening to their conversation.

Maya held up two fingers. “Two things,” she said.

Dan and Phil waited anxiously, uncertain what concerns she might have about being adopted by a gay couple.

“Do you know how to make ponytails?” she asked, face deadly serious.

Dan and Phil both laughed in surprise, and Dan said, “I think we can probably figure it out. Phil wears pigtails sometimes.” He turned to grin at Phil, who scowled.

“I only did that once. For a video,” Phil explained with a blush, as if Maya cared.

“Whatever you say, Phillipa,” Dan teased.

But Maya was gazing raptly into Phil’s face. “You wear ponytails too?” she asked in obvious awe.

Phil couldn’t help but burst into a wide smile at her reaction. “Not often. But maybe for you I would.”

“For me?” Maya asked in the most astonished and reverent voice Dan had ever heard.

Phil’s smile softened, and he said quietly, “If it would make you happy.”

She giggled and said, “It would. Then you would be like me. And I would be like you. That would be fun.”

Dan was desperate to hug her in that moment, but knew that wasn’t allowed during an initial visit. “What’s the other thing?”

Maya looked confused. “What other thing?”

“You said that having two daddies depended on two things. What’s the other thing?”

Her stare was intent and almost businesslike when she asked, “Do you like cartoons?”

Dan and Phil looked at each other, then at Maya. Obviously, they had found their miniature soulmate. Dan told her soberly, “We watch cartoons every morning.”

Maya’s eyes went wide. “Every morning?”

Dan grinned. “Yup.”

“Would I get to watch them with you?”

The idea that she might not be allowed to watch made Dan wonder about the homelife she’d experienced thus far, but he just nodded, not sure he could get words out.

She beamed. “I like daddies better than mommies, anyway. Mommies are mean.” And with that statement, she broke Dan’s heart. He’d read the description of her family background and knew about the abuse she’d suffered. He ached to give her the kind of life she deserved. He met Phil’s eyes, and saw tears threatening there. He reached out to take Phil’s hand and gave it a squeeze. They both looked at Maya, and he knew that they’d both already fallen in love.

Dan was in the kitchen when he heard Phil lean out the back door and yell into the garden, “Susan 1, Susan 2, time to come in!”

Dan sighed. “I told you not to call them that, Phil. It’s confusing for them.”

Maya came running and tackled Phil around the waist. “Dinner time!” she yelled. “I want chicken fingers!”

Phil swept her up into his arms and said, “You always want chicken fingers.” Maya just giggled. “Help me prove something to your Da. What’s your name?” He tickled her side a little and winked at her in an exaggerated way.

“Susan 1,” she replied promptly, then chortled with laughter in Phil’s arms.

Dan rolled his eyes, but smiled at the sound. “It’s confusing for Abby, anyway,” he insisted.

Phil was closing the back door now, as Abby had come running in as well, tail wagging. “What’s your name?” Phil asked Abby in a serious voice, as if expecting her to answer him. She just stared up into his face, wondering if maybe this focused attention indicated a treat was coming. Her tail continued to wag hopefully.

“Susan 2!” Maya screamed. She and Phil burst into uncontrollable giggles and Dan just fondly shook his head at their antics. He might try to be the voice of reason around here, but he didn’t really try all that hard. It didn’t matter that much if Abby also answered to whatever random name Phil decided to call her today. If they called her “Abby” in the park, she would come, and that was all that was really important. He’d let Phil have his fun. As usual.

Phil came into the kitchen still carrying Maya. At six, she was pretty big to carry, but he and Phil were giants and she had a slight build, so it wasn’t that hard. She had her legs wrapped around Phil’s waist, her arms around his neck, and her little pig-tailed head resting on his chest. Phil held her securely. Precious cargo.

He leaned over to give Dan a peck on the cheek. “Somebody wants chicken fingers,” he said, as if Dan hadn’t heard their conversation or anticipated their daughter’s demand.

“There will be chicken fingers,” he allowed, “as long as everyone also eats some broccoli.”

Maya frowned. “Raw?” she asked severely. She was a funny kid, all fun and games one minute, then serious business the next. And she was going through a stage where she would only eat vegetables if they were raw.

Dan put a hand to his chest, miming shock that she would even need to ask. “Of course raw!”

Over dinner, they talked about the upcoming trip to Florida. “Will you like spending a few days with Grandma and Grandpa Lester while we’re at work?” Phil asked Maya. Vidcon was coming up, and they’d developed a system where the Lesters showed up early and took Maya for the weekend Dan and Phil were at the convention, then the whole family vacationed together afterward. The Lesters enjoyed getting to spend a few days alone with their granddaughter, and Dan and Phil were able to stay in contact with their subscribers without exposing Maya to too much public attention.

They couldn’t avoid all attention, of course, but their fans and the media seemed to respect their repeated requests that they be allowed to keep their personal lives private. There would always be those fans who didn’t understand boundaries, just as there had always been, but overall things were good.

In bed that night, with Maya sleeping in her bedroom across the hall, Dan and Phil exchanged the deft touches of lovers who have known each other long and well but for whom the heat of that first deep passion has never truly waned. And afterward, they lay in each other’s arms and talked in quiet voices about unimportant things, and important things, and all the many sorts of things that married couples share.

And it was really, really good.

Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone who has followed this story. I know it got rocky at some points, but I hope the “happily ever after” ending promised by the title has made up for all the angst. :)

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