#some schools workplaces etc will be more hostile than others

[unproduciblesmackdown]

as "let's see if will roland's birthday prompts any billions production clues from posts castmates may make about it" continues to yield "no one's posting about it, while some castmates post about other people's birthdays," already having more thoughts abt [i'm sure he'll show up in at least one episode even if only to be written out] type things like:

a) would be insulting if winston is fired to serve a subplot about philip and taylor having some difficulty in finding their footing re: working together as coheads, like, we're good at anticassandraing things and have gone "lol what if philip & taylor disagreed abt quants in that philip preferred winston. which he feasibly could," so what if instead it's philip arguing that winston should be fired to streamline things or because everyone who's not taylor will want him gone b/c they dislike him, and in learning how to successfully work together, taylor's like well alright. like, don't pit these elements against each other the insult is instead just Anyone, higher ups or lower downs, wanting winston gone b/c they dislike him, so he's fired

b) winston getting bullied by anyone or everyone is seen as him distracting them &/or provoking it with his presence, so he's fired winston being friends w/tuk is seen as a bad influence of loserdom on the latter (or distraction, or annoying, or w/e) so he's fired some Problem that needs solving or otherwise some need to fire Some people that really doesn't have much to do with him gets him fired anyways. like 5x05 all over again, isn't it always. or even if he's particularly involved in some problem you know it'd be something other people could get away with just fine. see:

c) what's even "a problem" like that despite everyone being in a hostile workplace, winston is especially, and we're so graced with dollar bill back on the premises who has already harassed and threatened and assaulted him (not only limiting the lattermost to something like "did he hit you, and like, closed fist, and i mean pretty hard. well that's just what he's like, you're fine." or the way like sabotaging a toilet is just epic pranks and only a problem if something looks bad to theoretical investors and we should talk about what tmc people might be doing to deserve it) while rian has been holding down the fort bullying and using winston. perfectly in line with everything if this kind of thing prompting any hostility in turn is like, nobody blinks at the other stuff, wherein if anything everyone keeps trying to fix dollar bill's feelings for him and talk about how who he's being awful to needs to appease him asap, and rian simply Wanting to use winston as a chew toy is just taken in stride while separately people have already been motivated by theoretically looking out for her / supporting her in various ways as well. whereas if winston Acts like he regards her as a hostile party, which she is, rather than seeming to operate in good faith that they can have regular constructive basic respect interactions, which he does while those decent interactions seem to come through rarely and unreliably, then i'm sure he'd be seen as mean / starting shit / out of line / etc, especially when it seems him Disrespecting the Rules & Social Hierarchy that should disallow him from like, speaking unless it's to self-flagellate, means people see him as aggressive or whatever. basically the classic scenario like, kid's bullied at school, they're supposed to just ignore it or it's otherwise "not that bad" / stuff gotten away with, even if supposedly it's like well just tell an authority figure here, that won't/doesn't work, any resulting obvious tension/dislike between the kid and whoever is like "uh oh, a Both Sides problem" at best, same if there's a physical fight or something or else it's like well That was unacceptable and if it was initiated by Your reaction to all other kinds of terrible treatment for however long, you're the problem. not that i expect winston to throw a punch about it, but, figuratively / parallel to this scenario

d) winston is sick of his deluxe hostile environment, doesn't actually like whatever coheading changes, sick of rian and/or dollar bill specifically, and/or doesn't appreciate some other goings-on, like one that results in him even being threatened with firing, and gets to just quit as has regularly seemed like something he might want to do anyways since 4x11 and intermittently on

e) not really another Way to imagine they kick him out but was thinking how like, Is a reason we're shown that taylor and rian hugging in the middle of an office was seen by i guess winston alone gonna be further relevant at all and about him making anything of it, which, he really couldn't possibly be wrong about any inferences. but going :/ at the taylor and rian dynamic just as a spontaneous, contained event would be self-explanatory too. but had the thought of like, maybe it's all "well taylor's been here 5 seasons and is in a more prominent position than last season, throw a PR problem at them for the first time for real, just as a shakeup / something that throws them off" wherein like winston wouldn't even have to be there to be cited in something like yeah i was fired or quit or whatever else and my former boss is dating an employee i think. or seems to have a real personal preference for them if not personal somethingship. which is true lmfao like? even if winston ""wrongly"" assumes they're dating like "oh sorry these claims are ridiculous, i only proposed as much to this employee who i already was informally mentoring and do favor such that she was promoted offscreen after like half a season to be able to make trades and this only came up when her using that capacity to do some shit she could've been fired for had me like 'but i'll take the heat for it' b/c any feeling that i'd wanna fire you is worth working through as a personal problem, and that employee turned me down not only just b/c apparently dating through work is too much (but not hooking up through work) but because she's afraid of how much she could love me, and now we're further personal somethings or who even knows what's ever been going on and so who can say if we were supposed to have fully closed the door on dating or not, even." wherein like....someone then doing further research consulting with every named tmc employee, in this hypothetical (and ignoring any hypothetical new, named/dialogued hires) scenario all now Former employees except rian who clearly won't have been firedor quit at the start of season 7, b/c yknow god forbid lmao....like, oh i'm taylor's best friend so no comment except that when i'm mad at them i'll apparently say that i always thought they inhumanly don't have feelings and all, very helpful. then there's like, oh yeah i was taylor's employee and dated them until business misalignments lead to a less than ideal breakup, and then kind of an aftershock of that for fun i guess. and then yeah i was also taylor's employee and knew they were dating another employee and i disapproved if only b/c i told them it could look bad but then also one of the reasons leading up to my quitting was having difficulty getting in touch with them while the other employee lived with them at least part of the time and i didn't seem to be a fan of that bonus access re: discussing business getting in the way of the formal structure / chain of command or whatever at work as well which is part of what i was already there to file a complaint over, so....even just the "it does look bad / people do think you leverage status for access to sex through employees" like no but that's My boss though. but also just that yeah taylor has at least tried to date employees twice, and their personal preference does affect professional matters, though that's also just like, pick any place of work and any slice of it, may not be a meritocracy after all versus how much it matters that some people are popular and/or liked by the right people while others can be recognized as Good Employees on paper but be left where they are or antagonized by peers or higher ups b/c of "failing" at the popularity contest aspect. and this could just be some new Kind of problem for taylor, and/or their just having to question themself more. or else go "ugh leave it to winston" and shrug it off once whatever's smoothed over.

f) winston isn't fully written off but rather it's something zany like, the twist is dollar bill coming back (god forbid he didn't either) while mafee, who evidently sees taylor outside work despite it all, is like eh we'll get dinners sometimes too, and does not likewise return despite saying he's the one who'd consider it. winston, being fired, or having quit, or just being unhappy w/things enough to consider it, is like well you're kind of regular at me sometimes and can't yell at me abt loyalty to taylor if neither of us work for them and you have weird confusing ideas about how they should be loyal to you if anything, and i can do the work of 50 phds, and i know you don't know shit abt the math and quanting but if you just leave it up to me entirely, that's pretty much been my work experience thus far anyways. then he'd be filming on different sets, possibly more rarely, and also dan soder has been likewise elusive but is also on site on the two even vaguely or implicitly [s7 production] related pics will's turned up in.

g) idk billions feel free to prank us where once again between seasons we worry winston could be written off but then he isn't, but elusivity paired with suddenly now castmates w/no mention of him for [march 5th] and [we are doing any bday acknowledgments] overlaps that otherwise get posts, especially. weird even if he Was written out in ep one but okay then

#winston billions #maybe he'd feel petty after being disposed of; maybe someone's doing really specific investigative journalism lol.... #although also the idea that lauren's known one ep return last season was like. will This be an unfriendly ex gf/employee using insider info #and if winston were to be fired or quit; no matter the specific reason behind that it's like. how would he have only the fondest memories #he's been here for taylor & i imagine it can be inferred he hopes his Skills being valued are a shot at also being valued as a person #but if it seems like he was only ever begrudgingly kept around & given that [useful tool] status while other employees got more personal & #preferential treatment; which like everyone save sara kinda but she at least got to have substantial & frequent enough exchanges w/taylor #while here's a quant peer he even likes & does keep trying to be amicable with but she also regards & treats him as usable & disposable #while taylor at least ignores & allows this while v much preferring & Would Be dating this employee like. probably could be pissed abt that #and just to go off the shits lol like oh Petty Ex Employee behavior But....add in tayston fwb history lmaooo Like. oof #with some end of s3 into s4 timeline especially like where maybe winston wants a personal somethingship w/them as well but instead the #whole fwbship (& any undiscussed / not directly acknowledged somethingship along with it) was dropped when taylor dated lauren #like yes add in nonzero petty ex something as well lol. or Wish i could be a petty ex but got burned by the implication that like #no taylor doesn't not date employees as a rule nor even seem to worry abt it much personally; On Paper especially re propositioning rian #but also combining [dated lauren] and [dated oscar] stats it's like yeah they Ought to consider winston a romantic candidate as well lol #he Does get [autistic character] different negative / diminishing treatment all round from all elements so like. grievances lol #and of course taylor could choose to be petty ex employer/something as well like great so we're fighting now #and if winston's sharing the other trivia he's not sharing His personal history w/them. and taylor could threaten to but isn't gonna share #that b/c it'd make them look worse too (i am aware of the gfy proximity at this point yes lmfao girl help) but Can throw it in his face #can go after knowing he had that personal somethingship with them; the closest gfy esque thing here would be if taylor was also a bit too #clueless like well that is just hypocritical of you to take issue w/it Or take advantage of it when it suits you....w/o realizing that #element of like yeah i'm jealous actually?? remember when you dumped me to date someone else when [why didn't you date Me].... #or be Aware like well you're jealous actually. and winston can be like Yeah? I Am? lmao. we both know why we're fighting.... #impossible to tell if taylor didn't infer winston might like rian or else just ignored it but they could throw that at him too #i don't really imagine winston still Likes rian crushwise by the end of s6 for sure but. might also be annoyed they even get an affinity #like man don't worry their dynamic really isn't convincingly that good or enjoyable b/w them....missing out on what. #then the most gfy similar thing to do would be like don't take it out on me just b/c nobody would wanna date you #a move that could range from [merely laughably stock pettiness] to [surprisingly genuinely cutting] depending on specific execution ig #anyways whether he's still filming or not; if any cast members were to remember will exists & give us Any info w/acknowledgments we might #expect based on precedent. that it's Axe; Dollar Bill; and Rian who are most firmly established as [will be present] via ppl's posts. Great

[longwindedbore]

Once upon a time in America most hospitals were owned and operated by municipalities, the counties and universities . Of course, as non profits.

Now most county hospitals have closed or been bought up by for-profit corporations.

Now the USA! USA! USA! has the most expensive healthcare on the History of the world.

The average healthy person pays in premiums three times what Europeans, Australians, New Zealanders, Koreans, Japanese etc etc etc pay in taxes.

Driving psychological forces appear to me to be

[1] a curated enculturated judgmentalism & bigotry toward other denominations, other religions, other white European ethic descendants, other non-European ethnic descentants, lower economic castes, the physically challenged, the mentally traumatized, non-binaries, woman as other than chattel, non-religious.

[2] a curated enculturated unjudgmental worship of worldly appearance of individual success leading to hostility toward any form of taxation or communal effort.

Surrendering local civic organizations and institutions to the economic grip of local Property developers, real estate sellers, and large employers.

[3] a bizzare fantasy status enhancement by deliberate cruelty-without-consequence to others deemed ‘underneath’ the individual, family, group, community, region, nation.

Status engancement taught by parent-child relationships, by peers on the on the playground, by teachers in the school classroom and the Bible classroom, by employers in the workplace, by customers to service workers, insurance providers to the insured, elected officials to the electorate.

Bizzare because no one obtains more food, shelter, healthcare or sex from these behavioral ‘displays’

Status is “improved” by denying the Hated Other food, shelter, healthcare or control of their reproductive organs

The ultimate USA culture: unproductive aggression leading resulting in no general benefit. Rather making things worse for no discernible reason.

Oh, except more millionaires/billionaires per Capita.

With communal comprehension never rising to the formula:

More Rich per capita = less wages per capita

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

as an autistic kid I got criticized for not making eye contact. so as an adult I trained myself to make very consistent eye contact (easier said than done). this in turn has led to some people telling me it's "kinda weird" that I "stare so much." the moral of this story is there is actually no pleasing neurotypicals

#fuck it I'm just gonna be weird then #I would rather live a comfortable life openly displaying harmless autistic traits #than constantly work to supress normal autistic behaviors just to avoid the casual judgement of strangers who don't appreciate me anyway #obviously this isn't an option for everyone all of the time #some schools workplaces etc will be more hostile than others #and of course everyone monitors their behavior different in private vs public #but my life has gotten easier once i decided to stop caring about whether random people think there's something odd about me #I no longer care if the receptionist at the doctor's office thinks I talk funny #i don't care if people on the sidewalk think my hand gestures are weird #i don't care if the random person I'm making smalltalk with thinks that my conversation style is strange #I'm not hurting anyone. and autistic people are allowed to be visibly autistic and still exist in public #when people label autistic behaviors as 'weird' that is just plain ignorance #and I am tired of catering to other people's ignorance #not a shitpost #actuallyautistic

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Misread Details, Part One

CW: Death talk, BBU, dehumanizing language about Box Boys

A Box Boy Serial Killer On the Loose? Part 1 of 3

r/LetsTalkTrueCrime

•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee 1 month ago

Hello, r/LetsTalkTrueCrime! 

I’ve posted this write-up in a couple other reddits, but someone pointed me to this one as being a good place for discussion, and this is a really weird set of three unsolved murders (well, one death and two murders? Maybe?) and I wanted to see if any of you have some thoughts or maybe more info on these cases.

Three men died within two years in three different cities. 

While each death is unique, all of them have one thing in common - fingerprints and DNA from a single human pet was found in every single location. 

Let’s start with the first death.

Nathaniel Matthew Benson, who went by “Nanda” (a childhood nickname given to him by a younger brother who couldn’t pronounce his full name as a toddler, apparently), was forty-one years old at the time of his death. 

He was born and raised in North Dakota by very strict religious parents, and had three younger brothers and one younger sister. There is some disagreement here about whether his home life was peaceful or not. His younger sister claims that the environment at home was strict but fair, and the family was mostly happy. Two of his three younger brothers tell a different story, about a father who put too much on their shoulders, especially “Nanda” as the eldest, and the pressure they felt to be perfect.

His other brother, the youngest of the family, has never given a public interview beyond a short statement that he and Nanda were not close, and he did not feel able to speak about his character. There were nearly fifteen years between the oldest and youngest childrens’ births, and Nathaniel had moved out of the house by the time the youngest was four years old, so this makes sense.

By all accounts, Nathaniel was an excellent student, getting all A’s throughout his years of education. He was considered quiet and shy, and most of his high school classmates don’t have many standout memories of him. He graduated valedictorian of his high school class, then surprised everyone by stating he wouldn’t be attending college, and instead would be taking a “gap year” to travel the United States using money from his graduation party and also some he’d saved up from working part-time retail and restaurant jobs.

Between ages 18 and 19, he took his small secondhand four-door vehicle around the nation, calling home every week or so to give his family updates, sending postcards, etc. After about six months, though, the phone calls and postcards became fewer and fewer, and eventually he told everyone he had gotten a new job and decided to forgo college entirely.

His family was shocked - and by all accounts his father was furious - but Nathaniel refused to budge. 

There was apparently a very hostile phone conversation about one year after this decision which was the last time Nathaniel Benson spoke to his father directly until his death.

After this, his family received only sporadic communications sent from a P.O. Box located in central California, in a mid-sized city known as Dosaba. He never did give anyone an actual home address.

He occasionally called them, mostly his sister and one of his brothers, but surviving family states that the phone number he called from was different every single time, and usually didn’t have a California area code.

“He used burner phones for everything,” Nathaniel’s sister Samantha told WNDR, a local news station, shortly after his mysterious death. “And he would never tell us what job he did. We asked and asked and Nanda would just say ‘oh, this and that’, or ‘I do contractor work’. Just answers that don’t tell you anything. It was all very mysterious, very secretive. You know, we talked about how maybe he’d gotten into drugs or something, but my brother wasn’t a drug user, ever. It just seems so out of character for the brother I knew.”

“He was always reading his Bible when we knew him,” Younger brother Timothy stated. “But you know, I asked him once if he had found a home church wherever he was living, and he laughed and laughed. Then he just said, ‘they’d have a lot of opinions on how I live my life if I did that’, and changed the subject. So I knew whatever he was doing, it probably wasn’t good.”

There has been a lot of speculation by investigators that “Nanda” had indeed picked up employment within some kind of drug smuggling group at this time. Evidence found after his death has even opened the possibility that he worked as a high-end hitman.

There’s a lot of international travel during this time period, far more than can be accounted for unless travel was part of his workplace responsibilities. Employment records show him working as a sales manager for a company called Sunrise Investments, but this is believed by many to be a shell corporation hiding something much, much darker. 

However, all of this remains speculative, and there’s never been any proof that Nathaniel Benson did anything but the financial sales the company claims. No one ever did much work with him, and other employees at the company stated contact with him occurred entirely by phone and fax (and then e-mail) at this time. 

When investigators pored over the documents after getting a warrant, they weren’t able to find anything suspicious - and that in and of itself seems suspicious to some.

For years, Benson seemed to simply drop off the map entirely when it comes to local information - investigators did find that he owned a vintage Corvette that he fixed up himself (found via vehicle registry and taxes listings, which is public knowledge), and that about two years before his death he bought a large five-bedroom house with a basement in Dosaba, which he renovated in total secrecy. I was able to find records of him paying home taxes through his mortgage company, and that he spoke to local contractors and building companies, paying for consultations about the renovations he undertook. 

None of the companies he spoke to kept any kind of detailed notes about these consultations, but you’ll see why it’s relevant when I discuss what was found after his death.

Nathaniel Benson’s life came to an abrupt end on August 16th, 20XX, but nobody would find his body for more than two days. 

On August 18th, his cleaning lady arrived for her usual weekly visit to discover him crumpled at the foot of the stairs, face-up. She called 911 immediately and first responders arrived within twenty minutes to her white-faced and nearly silent. 

First responders noted that Nathaniel’s eyes were closed, unusual for a violent death. A wet cloth had been laid over them to help them stay that way. The medical examiner stated later that this would have to have been done within the first hour after he died, before rigor mortis could stiffen muscles and lead to them opening again. 

That whoever witnessed his death knew to do this is deeply unusual, and may be a sign of affection or grief. 

The autopsy found that Nathaniel had met his end approximately 36 hours before he was found, and had died due to an undiagnosed heart defect that had resulted in cardiac arrest. 

Sounds like any sudden death that can simply be written off as sad but natural, right? Well, there’s a few details that make things a little murkier than that, and have led to his death being listed as “undetermined” officially, and possibly including foul play.

For one thing, Nathaniel hadn’t simply collapsed next to the stairs - he had fallen, or been pushed, and showed evidence of bone fractures and head trauma consistent with the fall. A bit of blood was found on one step that came from his injuries. This head trauma would likely not have been fatal if he had received medical attention, but cardiac arrest ensured death even if head trauma didn’t. 

Did Nathaniel Benson suffer a heart attack and fall down the stairs, dying only when he reached the bottom? Maybe. 

Or maybe he really was pushed, the shock of it is the reason he went into cardiac arrest. 

There’s one more unusual fact that makes foul play a possibility in this mysterious death. 

Nathaniel Benson owned a legally purchased Box Boy, no known legal name, who went by his original purchase number: 334235. The Box Boy was a Romantic designation, and was purchased from Facility 001 in Berras, a city in Southern California, where the WRU headquarters is located.

WRU, when contacted by investigators, easily agreed to meet and provide detectives with information regarding the Box Boy’s purchase, as well as the DNA and fingerprint samples the company keeps on file. 

According to WRU’s internal records, this Boxie was not only a designated Romantic, but a specialty Romantic, trained for ‘masochism’. This tracks with multiple books on, shall we say, somewhat salacious interests that Benson had for his love life.

As Benson never seemed to date anyone or maintain a relationship, it’s theorized that the Boxie was his way of dealing with the stress of his work. WRU noted that Benson had contacted them after the purchase was complete to give his compliments on the Boxie’s training and note that he was ‘perfect’ and they ‘got along just fine’. 

The Box Boy’s fingerprints were found all over the house, which is totally normal. He was living there full-time, after all. But investigators also located something a bit more unusual: a secret room within the home that the cleaning lady had never seen before, hidden behind a carefully camouflaged door.

This is what Benson had been working on when he ‘renovated’ his newly purchased home: He built a secret dungeon room with stone walls and a concrete floor, outfitted with a dip and a “drain”, plus a garden hose hooked up on one wall. 

The room also had rows upon rows of cabinets full of various tools consistent with a ‘hard BDSM lifestyle’, according to one detective. I wasn’t able to get ahold of the actual list of items found, but was able to determine that whips, knives, ‘unspecified implements purchased from adult stores’, and other things were found.

Tests done on the walls and floor showed that blood had been spilled nearly everywhere in the room at one time or another, and large amounts of it. There was also evidence of blood found in Nathaniel Benson’s bedroom, primarily on the floor and in the bed. A small faded stain was found on the headboard just below a set of cuffs hooked into it.

A few small dried bloodstains were also found around the master bathroom sink, and investigators were able to determine the blood matched the DNA of the Box Boy, and was left there much more recently than the rest of the blood in the house, possibly even on the day of Benson’s death. 

Here’s the thing, though: the Box Boy himself was nowhere to be found. 

Was this Box Boy tired of being used as a human pincushion? Did he take matters into his own hands and commit the ultimate crime a pet can do, killing his owner? If he did, he no doubt knew what happens to pets who kill their owners, usually either being ‘put down’ or wiped clean to be resold.

Is our Boxie a killer right from the start? Or was he only a witness to a natural death who panicked and ran away?

Without locating the Boxie himself, it’s impossible to know.

The cleaning lady remembered him, and gave a description: Somewhere between 5’8” and 5’11”, wiry but with some muscle, usually dressed in just a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt when she was in the house. He has short dark hair, brown eyes, and an angular face. She mentioned visible scars on his arms, but none on his face. She was told to call him only “pet” if she needed to speak to him. She stated his voice was slightly hoarse and rough, as if he had a sore throat all the time. 

They had only one significant interaction, where the cleaning lady inquired about a large bruise on the Boxie’s face and bandages on his arms. He apparently told her, at the time, that he ‘liked the reminer’, but thanked her for asking after his health. They never spoke directly again. 

The detail about his face being unscarred will become incredibly relevant in parts 2 and 3.

Neighbors, when asked, mentioned that they had seen someone matching that description walking away from the house somewhere around 4 and 5 pm on August 16th. The medical examiner believes Benson died around noon, so this leaves about four or five hours between the death and the Boxie leaving.

He appeared to be walking very quickly and one neighbor noticed he was holding what looked like crumpled cash in one hand and a plastic shopping bag in another.

He was spotted waiting at a nearby bus stop, and footage from a camera mounted inside the bus shows someone matching the Box Boy’s description riding the bus all the way into Dosaba’s historic, artsy downtown. There, he was again captured on CCTV purchasing a one-way train ticket with cash. The train station employee who sold him the ticket remembers offering him a round-trip ticket for a discount, which she always did anyone who asked for a ticket to another city, only to have him “nervously” say he wouldn’t need to come back. She mentioned that he scratched at the side of his neck, and that when he walked away, he looked like his shoes were a little too big for his feet.

It is believed, as Nathaniel Benson was found barefoot but wearing clothing that suggested he had been outside doing yard work just before his death, that the Box Boy stole his shoes.

The fleeing Box Boy is captured one more time on camera as he arrived at his destination, Red Hills, approximately a two-hour train ride to the south. He walks past the CCTV quickly, hunched over as if trying to hide his face.

After that, he disappears.

Red Hills is a significantly larger city than Dosaba, with nearly a million residents within city limits and another 600,000 filling its suburbs and outer neighborhoods. Red Hills is a city that has seen better days, and it would be easy for a runaway Box Boy to simply fade away into its seedier districts. While Red Hills has had more than a dozen runaway Boxies picked up over the years, mostly Romantics who engaged in prostitution to make ends meet, it’s not believed that Benson’s Box Boy knew this when he chose the location.

As Romantic Boxies usually can’t read, it’s believed he simply chose a location he’d overheard someone else say, knowing nothing about what he would find when he got there.

Two days after his death, Nathaniel Benson’s debit and credit cards, Driver’s License, and a folded-up note he had written to himself about buying toothpaste were found in a plastic shopping bag tied-off at the top, were found inside the bus the Boxie had ridden, stuffed between the edge of a seat and the wall. The Boxie’s fingerprints were on everything.

But the Boxie himself wouldn’t be seen again until more than a year later.

Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson’s death for a time remained a one-off unsolved mystery. A little on the unusual side, but entirely possible that no foul play occurred, just some details that need filling in.

The shocking murder of a Red Hills man known locally as “Brute” would bring this Box Boy back into law enforcement’s line of sight, and open up questions about whether the Box Boy had simply been running away from Nathaniel Benson’s death… or leaving to find a new victim.

I’ll post Part 2, about “Brute”, shortly! Then Part 3 will be about a third murder, in which our potential Box Boy serial killer takes out… another serial killer. 

I told you this one gets interesting.

-

@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @outofangband @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @endless-whump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whumpiary

#whump #jameson bb #epistolary #epistolary fiction #original fiction #murder tw #sorta #maybe #whumper death #escaped whumpee #runaway whumpee #bbu #box boy #box boy universe #pet whump #dehumanization tw #jameson's masochism #a brief mention but still #bruises tw #blood tw #horror fiction #crime fiction

[agrarianradfem]

Omg you read regency romance??? I got hooked after bridgerton and thought it such a guilty pleasure as radleaning (I mean romance as a genre can be steeped in misogynistic tropes but there are some good eggs there) 😭😭😭 I was surprised to see you recommending devil in winter though I HATED the male lead in that book though he's generally a fan favourite.... kidnapping Lillian, calling Evie a bitch etc (in general I'm not much of a keypas fan, her male protagonists can be a bit too possessive alpha male for my taste)

I read all romance - historical, paranormal, urban fantasy, contemporary, etc.

Romance novels aren’t something to be ashamed off - it’s like being ashamed of enjoying watching Love Actually at Christmas. Romance novels are the largest genre of fiction.

Do romance novels contain things that are anti-feminist? Yeah. So does 99% of all other literature. I don’t read any with bdsm or other things that normally extreme pain, limited mobility, punishment, etc for the heroine. But just don’t read those. You’re actually more likely to find libfem stuff than anything like in an Eggers novel.

As for Devil in Winter - it is quite literally the best villain to hero trope in a historical romance ever. Second to being the best example of the trope in the genre in general only to Kresley Cole’s Lothaire.

He’s my fave Kleypas hero because he has the best hero’s journey - he goes from being a total lout to coming into responsibility. But I understand why he’s be hated!! If you want to find more books you’d like try keeping date of publication in mind:

Kleypas started writing before 2000 - which means her heroes are always going to be influenced by Julie Garwood, Johanna Lindsey, Kathleen Woodiwiss, Jude Devereaux, etc. This is the period of the OG alphahole heroes. During the 70s-80s women were facing significant economic challenges, workplaces actively hostile to their interests, backlash from men on a personal and professional level, and were being told they would never be able to get married. These heroes ALL: provide economically for the heroine, protect her from physical danger, give her elevated status, drop their backlash against women for the heroine, and marry and sexually satisfy the heroine. So these heroes had to be literally strong enough to “pull” the reader from the real world.

After 2000 until about 2007 you had the intermediary period. More women were in school, economics improved, women were living alone, and fear that marriage wouldn’t happen for you declined. These heroes became slightly softer - less kidnapping, more independence for the heroines (contemporary really started using birth control, heroines had their own careers and apartments). Writers that started before 2000 kept more alphas. The height of paranormal.

2008-2012: The Billionaire Years - economic anxiety and collapse causes women to seek out novels where the heroines are insulated against economic woes. Enter Beautiful Bastard and 50 Shades. These books also were when fanfic started producing conventional authors - and they brought bdsm from fic to the mainstream. Erotica (which usually bumps it’s heat “up” with bdsm) reveals the strain on marriages and relationships resulting in an inadequate sex life. Women seek it out in books.

2012-2019: Cinnamon roll heroes. Economic situation once again improves. Women don’t want the alphaholes any longer, heroines get feistier, romcoms break out everywhere.

Devil in Winter exemplifies the 2000 to 2007 period. St Vincent is a dick, but less of a dick than his 1982 predecessors. He ensures economic stability for Evie through managing her assets - an example of economic partnership relatively absent in romance still. But Evie is able to escape her abusive family (aka protection!). The novel is written masterfully - any professor teaching about romance novel structure would do well with DiW on the syllabus.

But since you hated him - try sticking to books published after 2012, 2014 especially. Also for the next years going forward I think alpha heroes will make a return. Already we see books written in 2020/2021 have fewer children. So as economic stress gets worse I think more billionaires, more protective heroes will once again emerge.

If you like Bridgerton I’d recommend Sarah MacLean, try her Bare Knuckle Bastards series or Bombshell (and skip Ewan’s book).

[artsy-hobbitses]

I'm getting very curious about Malaysia... what's it like there?? Culture, living conditions, etc.

Pretty loaded question!

Off the top of my head, some specifics:

- Very much a melting pot. Malay, Chinese and Indian ethnicities mingle pretty freely, interracial marriages are not uncommon (I’m quarter Chinese on my mum’s side) and the modern Malaysian slang is often a mishmash of Malay, Chinese and Indian words. You have a choice between public, vernacular (usually caters to a specific race ie. Chinese/Indian as a stronghold of the language/customs, however I had Malays friends who went to Chinese Vernacular schools) international, private and religious schools (mostly for the Muslim-Majority Malays). Public holidays are designated for all three major races (big ones are Eid, Deepavali and Chinese New Year) plus more specific ones in Sabah/Sarawak for the indigenous population, and it’s normal for say, Malays to be invited to a Deepavali gathering or for Chinese to be invited to Eid open houses. We’re usually chill about it like that.

- Despite this, racism exists. It’s not loud and proud like in western nations though (except for your occasional Malay nationalist politician) it tends to be more of the passive-aggressive sort. Some parents discreetly warn their kids about not being friends with [X] race at school, some house rental listings with single out [X] race, though we’re coming to the point that we’re not bothering with Asian decorum anymore and publicly shitting on that behavior. On a historical aspect, the potential reason it takes on a more subtle, passive-aggressive tone here was that on 13 May 1969, sectarian violence broke out between urban Chinese and Malays in Kuala Lumpur due to unrest over the general election, and this resulted in the deaths of 600 people, mostly Chinese (My mum lived through this time at the heart of the incident). Basically the nation’s been scarred and has feared a similar event ever since, so those spouting open racial violence get slammed down pretty quick and “Remember 13 May” has often been used as a warning for whenever tensions flare up. Or when politicians want us to keep our grumblings down. We tend to have a don’t-rock-the-boat mentality here on the basis of trying to keep the peace for everyone—-it doesn’t always work. Malay Privilege/“Ketuanan Melayu” is a thing you’ll hear often from some sections of Malays here, who tend to argue that since they’re technically the original inhabitants if the land (don’t quiz ‘em about the Orang Asli), they should get more rights than the others.

-Living conditions vary. I live in Selangor—the state surrounding the Capital Kuala Lumpur—-which has the highest density of denizens. Here, it’s pretty modern. My husband and I rent a two-story terrace house, my parents who are a little well-off have their own bungalow. Places like Penang, Perak and Johor also tend to be more in the modern side. You’ll find more rural areas and kampungs as you go deeper into the heart of country (Pahang), the East Coast (Kelantan, Terengganu) and the country’s rice bowl (Kedah, and by extension, Perlis). This is within the Peninsula—-Sabah (I lived here for about four years) and Sarawak have a combination of modern and rural areas and tend to take life at a much slower pace than the Peninsula states (They also want none of Peninsula’s religious tension bullshit). My father’s kampung is in Pahang, and while I was never close to my paternal grandparents, I do have fond memories of cooking outdoors and plucking rambutan bunches from the trees they grew.

- Wet. Very wet. Monsoon season/‘Musim Tengkujuh’ at year end interspace with mid-year. Fucks with the income of local fishermen who are barred from going to the ocean on the account of rough waves, Flooding is an annual occurrence for rural areas, though we get flash floods in cities too. Common enough that “check for crocodiles” isn’t a weird request when you come back to clean your homes from mud and silt. (Houses near flood-prone areas will employ walls or be built on stilts to withstand the floods).

- 9 Sultans for 9 states, they take turns becoming the Agong (Chief Sultan I guess?) every five years. They’re mostly there the same way the British monarchy is. Don’t really play a big role in politics unless there is a need for them to decree something when politicians can’t work things out between themselves.

- Political leapfrog. It’s. A thing. A politician you see from one party today can be a member of another party tomorrow. It’s gotten so bad they’re considering legislation to punish it. We do call them literal frogs (Katak) when they do this (Sorry frogs, you deserve better!)

- Food. All the fucking food. Melting pot = all the deliciousness. There’s no culturally appropriating cuisine here, everyone’s eating everyone else’s stuff with great gusto. Roti Canai/Chappati (Indian) for breakfast, Nasi Campur (mixed rice, mostly with Malay dishes) for lunch and Wantan Mee (Chinese) for dinner is an example of the food culture trip you go through on any given day. You’ll have Malays who adore Chinese food, Chinese who adore Malay food, and no one fights when they’re eating, that’s all there is to it. Places like Penang are a haven for food and people will make trips just to eat there.

- Islam is the main religion. However, it’s not strictly enforced in most cases, I’d dare even say that we’re quite secular, to the teeth-gnashing of the Facebook army. I’m a Muslim who doesn’t wear a headscarf (except on special occasions), I know Muslims who rescue and keep dogs (My hunter grandfather apparently caught and kept a Dhole as a house guard way back), and I know some who’re LGBT, albeit somewhat discreet about it.

- Speaking of LGBT, the country is not friendly to the community, but neither is it as hostile as sections of the US tend to be about it. As an example, gay conversion therapy isn’t really a thing there (presumably because that would entail the govt admitting that there’s enough gay people to require it at all), workplaces generally do not have a policy targeting people based on their sexualities, like you’ll find butch ladies serving you drinks at Starbucks and gay men working with local theatre productions, and violence against LGBT members is pretty rare (though I imagine this is more because most people here mostly do not want to kick up a fuss in public, what more a fight, and just judge from a distance). Basically, the majority of the public will tolerate LGBT existence—whispering behind their back——until there starts to be a call for rights.

- Good degree of English command. English is understood, if not spoken, by a lot of us here from cab drivers to stall owners, so you won’t be hopelessly lost if you decide to visit. A big majority of us are at LEAST bilingual (In my case, I speak English and Malay, and can understand some Arabic). Quite a number who come from interracial marriages are trilingual.

- Cheap healthcare. There’s a reason we’re one of the top destinations for medical tourism. You have a choice between private and government hospitals which provide a form of universal healthcare. Govt clinics/hospitals offer subsidized healthcare and meds to all members of the public, and most doctors will start out in government hospitals before moving to private practices (like my sister-in-law). Uninsured, a trip to a normal clinic for a consultation will set you back maybe twenty to thirty bucks, fifty if you need meds or a small procedure like stitches. I do have insurance but have never used it for doctor visits since the amount is pretty trivial. I have, however, used it for a hysterectomy surgery + 1 month hospital stay at a private hospital which set me back about RM30,000-RM40,000 (USD7000-USD9500) which I managed to get covered. Ambulance Fees are like, RM200 (USD47) for private hospitals and RM50 (USD12) for govt hospitals. Consultation fees, blood tests and X-Rays go as low as RM1 (24 Cents) in govt hospitals. If you get hurt here, we got you covered.

And that’s just off my head! If there’s something specific you’d like you know, feel free to ask further ouob

#inbox #long post #Malaysia

[andihowl]

Polyamory is queer.

Or rather, Polyamorous folk are queer if they self-identify as such.

Below, I’ll be explaining why any attempt you make to deny that is by definition gatekeeping, and why you need to stop. This will be added to / updated as I talk to more polyamorous folk and hear more of their stories. This is not a debate, I will liberally use my block button, I’m just sick of repeating myself over and over in group after group because polyphobic assholes think they can throw polyam folk under the bus and we won’t say anything. Read. Think. Do better.

Given the shared premises that “queer” is being used in it’s non-pejorative, reclamative usage as an umbrella term representing sexual and gender minorities who have been marginalized and oppressed as a direct result of their identities, and that gatekeeping members of it is an inherently shitty thing to do (goodbye swerfs, terfs, aphobes, etc.), the main reasons I see for people denying polyamorous folk into queer spaces, or into queer discussions generally read like this:

why are we even having this discussion, omg, wtf, gtfo

it’s only used by skeezy heterobros who are looking to get a second girlfriend

it’s only used by skeezy “bi” couples who are unicorn hunting

there are oppressive countries around the world who are practicing polygamy and that’s certainly not good

it’s a kink

it’s a choice

it’s a practice, not an identity

it’s a relationship dynamic, not a sexual orientation or gender identity

everyone wants to be polyam anyway, it’s not an oppressed class.

I'm personally polyamorous, and I don't see it as an identity

I'm uncomfortable with cis-het-allo folk claiming the term queer

These arguments can be categorized more or less into the following main sections:

The Disregard

why are we even having this discussion, omg, wtf, gtfo

By disengaging conversation about this, you are preventing the growth and learning of the community, and you need to knock your shit off. Only through critically assessing our own behavior and the behavior of the community with which we engage can we ever hope to make ourselves, and our world, any better.

The Bad Actors

it’s only used by skeezy heterobros who are looking to get a second girlfriend

or

it’s only used by skeezy “bi” couples who are unicorn hunting

This is one of the weakest arguments against this, and one of the quickest debunked. Simply put, all identities have bad actors. I've certainly interacted with gay men who haven't taken no for an answer. I've certainly met bisexual people who have used their sexuality as an excuse to cheat on their partners. Just because bad actors exist within a community, does not invalidate the entire identity. You cannot hope to have such a diverse group of people from such diverse backgrounds and upbringings and mental health statuses and economic statuses and expect them all to behave and think the the same homogenous way. Not all gays are alike. Not all trans folk are alike. Not all polyam folk are alike. Deal with it, move on.

Conflation

there are oppressive countries around the world who are practicing polygamy and that’s certainly not good

or

it’s a kink

Polyamory =/= polygamy. Stop conflating the two. Polyamory (when referring to the practice) is the egalitarian ethical practice of non-monogamy between consenting adults. Polygamy is an authoritarian tool used by patriarchal societies to oppress and silence women, most often without consent. Stop conflating, and move on.

Also, Polyamory is not a kink. To call something a kink, you are tacitly and wilfully admitting that the behavior in question is and should be seen as deviant in society, and derives sexual pleasure out of that deviancy. Polyamory is not, at least not in any healthy relationships I've seen, practiced in such a shameful manner. If you're equating the two, maybe you should address your own underlying phobias regarding polyamory rather than gatekeeping others.

The Choice

it’s a choice

or

it’s a practice, not an identity

or

it’s a relationship dynamic, not a sexual orientation or gender identity

These are a bit trickier of a discussion. No, the United States, nor any other country offcially recognizes polyamory as a valid sexual orientation to be protected under federal law. And yes, some people feel they opt-in to a "polyamorous lifestyle". There have been studies conducted on this, and while many respondents to do not classify their polyamory as an orientation, many others did respond saying that they felt they were wired that way, that they felt they were that way since childhood, that monogamous relationships always felt wrong for them.

The polyamory community houses both types of folk, those who feel it's a lifestyle, as well as those who feel it is deeply engrained. As polyadvice writes (specifically toward other polyam folk):

Is polyamory an orientation? Why do we care? Why are we so caught up in whether the way we love other people is a way of being or a way of doing? Why do I get this question so often, and why are we all so invested in the answer?

  If you experience your polyamory as an innate part of your self, as something you are rather than something you do, great. It’s part of your orientation. We can split semantic hairs and say it’s a “relationship orientation” as opposed to a “sexual orientation.” Some people don’t experience it that way, and that’s fine too.

  What’s not fine is if we start fighting about it and make it some big political or identity-political issue within the [polyam] community. Because you know what? The rest of the world doesn’t care nearly as much about the nuances of our definitions. They’re prepared to deny us health insurance, child custody, media representation, hospital visitation, and plenty else regardless of whether we sort this out amongst ourselves. If we start turning on each other, there’s no one to have our backs.

Simply put, it's none of your damn business if it's an orientation or a choice. Even if it is a choice, as Michael Carey with Slate wrote:

We are all human first. Everything else—nationality, sex, race, orientation—is secondary, and irrelevant to our fundamental rights. As Brian D. Earp recently argued in “Future Tense,” even if homosexuality becomes a choice, mutable under pharmacological “treatment,” it should still be regarded as part of the normal range of human behavior. We should agree on the principle that anyone pursuing consensual, loving, respectful relationships, forming happy families, and participating productively in society should be welcomed, not ostracized in the name of irrational, ossified stigma.

Not Oppressed

everyone wants to be polyam anyway, it’s not an oppressed class.

Hooooooooold up there partner. Y'all gotta be kidding me. Let's put aside the fact that one of the most common thing's polyam folk hear when they come out to people is "well, that's nice, but I could never do it myself". Let''s put aside the comments/sneers of "so you just sleep with whoever you want?", or the automatic assumption that polyam folk are sluts/skeezes/sex-addicts/cheaters.

The fact of the matter is, for someone who is polyamorous, there are no legal protections for them, whether they be for housing, employment, or medical care (in any of the 50 United States or any other country that I'm aware of). That means if someone is outed at work, they can be fired on the spot for that reason. They can be kicked out of their apartment, lose their home, or be denied medical coverage because of it. Polyamorous relationships are not recognized as valid spouses in hospital situations, they cannot receive tax benefits for their relationship, and they are routinely denied next of kin rights and inheritance. Loss of child custody is common, as family courts do not recognize polyamory as a valid responsible child-rearing environment (which experience and common sense can tell us otherwise)

It's bad enough that Ann Sweeny argued in 2010 in favor of legally expanding the definition of sexual orientation to include polyamory to help protect polyam folk against these kind of grievances (you can download the original pdf argument at that link, it's a long but interesting read). An excerpt:

... polyamorists risk custody loss, workplace discrimination, loss of friends, alienation from their families, and ostracism from spiritual and other communities as a result of revealing their polyamory. In addition, their children often face discrimination at school. Indeed, in one study, nearly half of [polyam] respondents reported having experienced prejudice as a result of their polyamory. Additionally, Emens has noted that the “social hostility [against relationships involving more than two people] sustains various legal burdens on polyamorists, including two-person marriage and partnership laws, adultery and bigamy laws, [and] residential zoning laws.” Furthermore, Rambukkana documented negative reactions to the formation of an on-campus polyamory group that included the university newspaper’s public ridicule of the group on the basis that the group was comprised of “a bunch of ‘culty’ sex maniacs” and the suggestion that the group was a “recruitment machine” that sucked people in “‘with promises of sex and more sex.’”

She goes on to argue:

These forms of discrimination are considerable, and they have the potential to impose severe, indeed devastating, burdens on individuals who espouse polyamory... The many ways that monogamy (as represented by marriage) is privileged under the law, while non-monogamy is burdened, demonstrate that non-monogamous persons, including polyamorists, are oppressed under an “organising principle of inequality” and therefore that they meet Cooper’s test for extension of legal protections.

Honestly, go read that article. It lays out a lot more than I could ever hope to properly summarize here, and outlines pretty succinctly why polyamory is an oppressed class.

What goes for me goes for everyone

I'm personally polyamorous, and I don't see it as an identity

First off, wonderful! Thank you for being polyam and for demonstrating your courage and representation in a world that wants to erase you. Full stop.

Second off. It's fine if you don't feel like your polycraft is inherently part of your identity. That's allowed. Many Nonbinary folk don't feel trans describes their experience; many gay men don't like to use the term queer. That's fine, that's your biz. That doesn't mean that holds the same for everyone else, though, and you shouldn't be limiting the voice and power of others because you have enough privelege to disregard opression you may experience. They do deserve a voice, they do deserve rights, and you consistently chiming in saying "Well I don't" isn't helping the conversation, it's distracting and beside the point.

One person's experience with a community is not necessarily representative of an entire identity's experience with it, and you don't get to claim the right to silence the voices and experences of others in your community.

The Personal Appeal

I'm uncomfortable with cis-het-allo folk claiming the term queer

Well, I'm sorry you are uncomfortable. Honestly. It sucks. However dealing with an expanding and inclusive community is and should be uncomfortable. It should force us to ask questions we didn't want to ask. It should make us rethink things we once thought were firm and held dear.

But just as -allo was added to cis-het bring light to the added axis of identity and oppression that is the asexuality spectrum, it's about time we added -mono to that, to bring to light the fact that being polyam, and being polyam + other identities, brings with it unique problems and unique pride that is deserving of attention, and deserving a seat at the table.

Included Links and Additional Resources

CW: some of these links use the nickname "poly" for "polyamorous" rather than "polynesian". Inclusion here is not an endorsement of that kind of usage, as I have tried to refrain from that usage here and in my everyday conversation. Additionally, I have replaced its usage in the above quotations with [polyam] to prevent further crawlers linking to it.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201610/is-polyamory-form-sexual-orientation

(http://polyadvice.tumblr.com/post/114048167048/this-might-be-a-question-you-get-often-but-is

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/10/is-polyamory-a-choice.html

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1632653

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/10/polyamorous-excluded-queer/

https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2013/12/dan-savage-is-poly-queer.html

https://www.autostraddle.com/six-queers-on-polyamory-and-identity-419254/

#polyam #polyamory #queer #gatekeeping #don't @ me #i will block you

[hathhlynn-blog]

Why The Carrie Diaries showcases more social identities than any show that you have EVER watched!

The 1980's show stars Carrie Bradshaw, a 17 year old girl from Castlebury, Connecticut. The show captures Carrie's life during such an impressionable time as she begins her junior year of high school shortly after her mother passed away, capturing  her life with her friends, boys, her life in the city and her dream job. The Carrie Diaries allows for its audience to look through a theoretical lens and consider how pop culture influences the way we view social identities.

As a 17 year old, Carrie is a strong feminist and incorporates feminism into her everyday life. She does not believe that women should show their vulnerability or act dumb to have their man of interest like them back. She is a strong writer and also loves to read the feminist books her late mother loved. During this time in the early 1980s, a young woman in the workplace was still seen as taboo and made people uncomfortable. At this time, there were many people who did not support the ways of feminism. For Carrie to be this young and so strongly support such a controversial lifestyle at this time was such a big deal. She was so passionate that it became a part of her identity.

Carrie lost her mother at quite a young age. As one would imagine, this would be something a 17 year old girl would have a hard time dealing with. Throughout the show, she thinks about her mother and misses her. Carrie has a good relationship with her dad, but nothing compares to a mother/daughter relationship at this age. This is something that is not very traditional in TV. Not many shows will star a girl who no longer as a mother and shows the relationship with her father. Cambridge Educational in “Teens Dealing with Death” speaks on how dealing with the death of a close family member as a teenager can play a large role in the teen’s identification and follow them through a large part of their life.

Sebastian Kydd is the sexy new guy at school. He is super sweet, caring and undoubtedly charismatic. But what people don’t see is his home life. His parents have had a rough relationship with commitment issues and Sebastian wants nothing to do with it. This is why when he gets with Carrie, he loves and cares for her so deeply. Sebastian does not let his personal life define who he is as a person. Sinikka Elliott and Elyshia Aseltine in “Raising Teen agers in Hostile Envirnoments: How Race, Class, and Gender Matter for Mothers’ Protective Carework” speak on how teenagers will do one of to things when they are aware of the hostile home life. They will either try to suppress it and want nothing to do with it or they will carry out the acts they see at home. Sebastian was in who suppressed what he saw at home.

As Carrie’s mother has recently passed, her dad Tom starts to do everything he can for his two daughters. Dealing with two teenage daughters on your own is not an easy task for a father. But Tom is a seemingly more sensitive than most men on television. He is a busy lawyer but always makes time for his two girls. He always reminds them to be the girls that they should want to be like the woman their mother was. In the article “Effects of early parent death,” it is stated that if there is an early death of one parent, the other parent is quite likely to be more loving and emotional toward the kids than before the death. In the Carrie Diaries, Rom Bradshaw is a good demonstration of that.

Dorrit is Carrie’s 14 year old troublesome sister. It seems that she is not handling the death of her mother very well. She is very rebellious and careless. She has a hard time handling her emotions and it shows. She openly spites Carrie for having such a close relationship with their mother. She does a few rebellious things like dying her hair and getting into guys that she isn’t supposed to be with, just to be rebellious. Earhart and Brenton mention in the Family Relations article that often times teens are rebellious as a result of jealousy. This is exactly the case with Dorrit being jealous of her sister.

The mean girl of the school is Donna. She is known for being more fashionable and hotter than all the other girls in school. She is somehow able to get any guy she wants. However, Donna is played by an actress with big lips, a small waist, long legs, a large chest, etc. She is not really known for anything els other than being the sexiest girl in school, Donna is representative of the objectified girl in media. In “Supersexualize Me!” Murray mentions the exposure of media changes the ideal from objectification to sexual subjection. Just by having her midriff exposed, the producers of the show are allowing the audience to pick up on the subtle characterization of her role.

Jill Chen, better known as Mouse, is Carrie’s best friend. She is someone that is always there for Carrie. Mouse is an Asian and is portrayed with common stereotypes. She is the smartest girl in the school and takes school seriously. Mouse is quite shy and awkward at times and also is someone is considered a goody-two-shoes and is loved by parents. Mouse ends up falling for another character of color, a successful black student named Seth. Being a minority is well woven into her characters identity. in the 2008 Racial Stereotypes in Media video, it is discussed that often times stereotypes are made so that the audience can characterize the subjects better and make relations to their own life. This is why Mouse is characterized this way.

Carrie’s friends and the people around her would say that the previous summer was life changing. While Carrie spent the summer grieving and mourning the death of her mother, her friends spent the summer losing their virginities and having sex. She seemingly was the only one who was still a virgin. However, Carrie finds herself in the middle of not wanting to be a virgin any linger and not wanting to be seen as a slut. Valenti says it as “Look sexy, act as is if you are having sex, but if you do it ... whore!” There is no middle ground here, lots of gray area. Realistically it is hard to mimic something that is acted when you have never engaged in the act. Once she does lose her virginity, she is concerned about being called derogatory terms and being slut shamed. In one specific episode, she is even called a prude for not wanting to talk about sex on a crowded street, even though she had just had sex the night before. This shows the struggle Carrie endures as she identifies as a virgin to no longer a virgin.

The media often portrays people of color in media to fit the society’s common stereotypes. Black women are usually portrayed as loud, sassy, overweight, and less than. However, Larissa is a different case.She is a beautiful and successful British editor for a popular magazine company in the city, but she is also not afraid to let her wild and fun side out at times. Larissa is independent and led herself to her own success.The oppositional gaze is the way that the media lessens people of color. It puts whites above the rest. However, Larissa stands strong against the oppositional gaze in the series.

One of Carrie’s best friends is Walt. At the beginning of season one, he has a girlfriend named Maggie who is also in the friend group. He keeps his relationship with her while suppressing the fact that he is gay. Walt’s family will not be accepting to his true sexuality. Eventually his family finds out the truth and kicks him out of the house. During this time, homosexuality was neither understood nor accepted. The “Bury Your Gays” podcast, it is discuss that in media, gays are always the ones to suffer the most out of the whole cast and often times end up dead. This is medias way of showing that in society, gays are less than and carry such heavy baggage.

Another one of Carrie’s close friends is Maggie. Maggie is such a good friend and will always stand up for the people she cares the most about. However, she struggles a lot more than her friends even know. She seems to often turn to guys to give her a little bit of comfort and attention. She starts the show out dating Walt. She starts cheating on him with an older guy who is engaged and wants nothing to do with her and then is later engaged to another guy. She does not have the greatest relationship with her parents. She grew up knowing that she wasn’t going to go to college like most of her friends were going to. Maggie is seen as the friend that is seen as less than. Carla Bagnoli writes in her “Respect and Loving Attention” article that people, especially women, turn to love interests for attention to fill some sort of void. This is why Maggie has many love interests. She is missing part of her self that would qualify her or make her feel worthy. So she turns to men to fill the void for her.

Carrie’s new boyfriend is Weaver. He is a 19 year old writer and lives in the city. Because Carrie is only 17 and lives in the suburbs, she sees him as not only her lover but someone she turns to for advice. Carrie can talk to him about more mature things and get insight that her other friends would not be able to give her insight on. He is a good guy and cares for Carrie, even talking about marrying her someday before they soon break up. According to the editorial “Writing is a Painful Love,” 66% of women who are with an older partner often find themselves turning to their partner as their first person to give advice.

Samantha is NOT to express herself. She is one of Carrie’s friends but seemingly much more mature. She is unemployed and loves to have fun. Samantha isn’t one to care about responsibilities. She may not be the best influence for Carrie and her friends as she is notorious for making bad decisions. In Michael Green’s book “Self-Expression,” he speaks on how being comfortable and confident in yourself enough to express yourself is extremely difficult, especially when those around you may see you as irresponsible.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine season one full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

59.09% (thirteen of twenty-two).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

31.6%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Two (episode four ‘M.E. Time’ (40%), and episode twenty-two, ‘Charges and Specs’ (41.17%)).

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Three (episode eight ‘Old School’ (20%), episode nine ‘Sal’s Pizza’ (20%), and episode fifteen ‘Operation: Broken Feather’ (17.64%)).

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Sixteen. Four who appear in more than one episode, three who appear in at least half the episodes, and two who appear in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Fifty-two. Thirteen who appear in more than one episode, six who appear in at least half the episodes, and four who appear in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

In a general sense, they score well, but they’re not strong on female characters and the single most prominent narrative thread of the season is bizarrely out-of-touch and repellent. They averaged out ok, but I was a lot more uncomfortable than I expected to be, and certainly uncomfortable more often than I was impressed (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

In a general sense, again, this is mostly lovely, the characters are mostly delightful, the whole thing is MOSTLY easy to watch and digest, mostly fun, mostly un-insulting. Mostly. If you’re not watching with a critical eye, it’s no doubt much easier to stomach, but, well...it’s my job to be critical. And I am. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

I know guys: it’s a comedy. The first thing people tend to say when you start trying to be critical of the content of comedies is ‘oh my God, lighten up! It’s not supposed to be serious!’, so let me just assure you all right now that I know Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a comedy. It hasn’t magically escaped my notice. But comedic intention does not somehow elevate the storytelling above reproach, into some fabled realm where everything goes so long as SOMEONE is laughing. In fact, being critical of WHAT we are laughing at (or what we are being expected to laugh at) is every bit as important as questioning why we are presented certain content in dramas or horrors or scifi adventures, it’s all still fair game on the narrative landscape, and refusing to interrogate humour is a gateway to forgiving all manner of sins, so long as they’re packaged as if they’re meant to be funny. ‘It’s a comedy’ is not a valid excuse for presenting or perpetuating bullshit, so let’s just get that idea out of the way. 

The thing about comedy is, it works on an in-group/out-group mentality. Humans are pack animals, and whether we like it or not, we are constantly processing and evaluating information to determine who is ‘one of us’ and who is not. The people who find a joke funny are the in-group, the ones who don’t are the out-group. This is why, say, a racist joke is not just a matter of whether or not you’re ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too PC’ to get it, and it’s why hiding behind the line ‘I’m just joking’ is such a weak excuse; the out-group are not just sensitive and/or politically correct, they’re the people who recognise how that ‘joke’ reinforces negative stereotypes and thereby contributes to maintaining hostile mindsets about the subjects, the people who are ‘the butt of the joke’ (in-group/out-group is how comedy works; it’s also literally how discrimination works). The in-group are the people who don’t care: they’re the racists. When you laugh at the joke, you position yourself in the in-group, shoulder to shoulder with those racists, whether you personally consider yourself racist or not. Every time you ‘just’ make a joke, or ‘just’ laugh at one, you’re identifying yourself for those around you as belonging to a certain pack, a certain mindset, a certain outlook on life and the world. The concept of in-group/out-group mentality is actually integral to the thing which impressed me most about Brooklyn Nine-Nine in this first season: the handling of Holt and his sexuality. Bad representation in this case would be the kind that treats Holt and Kevin and - by extension - the entire queer community of the show, the audience, and the world, as if they are the out-group, with the assumption that straight people are the in-group, ‘the norm’. Even seemingly positive-toned representation can be framed as out-grouping if it approaches queer characters as ‘other’ and presumes that the viewer sees them as such (this is the kind of representation I flag as ‘just doing it for the brownie points’). Brooklyn Nine-Nine not only treats Holt as part of the in-group; the audience and the rest of the characters are treated as in-group, regardless of sexuality: it’s not about Holt’s team being good straight allies looking out for their gay Captain, it’s about the team being decent people looking out for one of their own. 

So, what does this have to do with my season-long rage against Charles Boyle? Quite simply, we the audience are in-grouped with him. Charles occupies the standard archetype of a bumbling everyman, good-natured but hapless, and the expectation is that we laugh at his misfortunes while also hoping he’ll muddle his way to success. Personally, this irks me outright, because under most circumstances I’m not much into schadenfreude and I don’t find destruction or pain very funny (an exception would be Terry crushing things in his hands, because the comedy derives from him being ludicrously strong rather than from the idea that destruction of property is inherently comedic). Laughing at Charles being inept already rubs me the wrong way, but the way he is framed by the narrative - as part of the in-group with the audience by virtue of being one of our good-guy leads - encourages that laughter to be sympathetic. Yeah, we’re laughing at Charles’ expense, but it’s not supposed to be mean-spirited laughter at an out-group subject, it’s the chuckle you have at your friend who just fell on their ass, a chuckle expressed at the same time as you head over and make sure they’re ok. Now, the problem here is not that I want to laugh at Charles’ misfortunes in a mean-spirited way (as noted, schadenfreude isn’t my style), the problem is that sympathetic in-group framing, and how it extends to the framing of all of Charles behaviour. Because the show doesn’t seem to have realised that Charles is, in fact, a dick.

The big problem is his creepy obsession with Rosa, which the characters all identify as having lasted a full year, and which I have previously identified as workplace harassment. Charles’ relationship with Rosa - such as it is - is the largest narrative thread of the entire season, with a presence in more than half the episodes, and the show does a bafflingly awful job of challenging Charles shitty behaviour, to the point of repeatedly undercutting Rosa in order to have her reaffirm Charles’ sense of self worth at the expense of defending her own right to basic respect. The fact that Charles is presented to the audience as a sympathetic character we should root for is a big part of the problem; the fact that he is much more prominent than Rosa exacerbates this. Until the latter end of the season, any Charles/Rosa plots are pretty exclusively presented from Charles’ perspective, rendering Rosa an object in his story rather than an agent in her own, and since she is given far less screen time or personal stories or subplots that are NOT related to Charles, we as an audience are given very few invitations to view Rosa outside of Charles’ lens. This is already problematic in itself, but it’s even more so when factoring in the schizophrenic way that the show frames Rosa’s reactions to Charles: sometimes rejecting him soundly, sometimes casually palling around with him and accepting his invitations to movies, dinner, etc. TO BE CLEAR: there is nothing wrong with Rosa’s behaviour, she treats Charles as a friend/co-worker/equal, and she also regularly makes it clear to him that she’s not interested in him romantically. BUT the way the show approaches her from Charles’ perspective encourages the audience to feel sorry for him being rejected, rather than understanding Rosa’s difficulty in being harassed no matter how much she tells him no, and then when she isn’t openly hostile at all times we’re encouraged to see how Charles perceives this as an opportunity for him to win her over as if he’s getting past her defenses, instead of recognising overtures of basic human decency. The in-group we are expected to happily occupy is that of a harasser, rather than sympathising with the harassed. 

BUT WAIT, it gets worse. First, Charles takes a couple of bullets for Rosa in the line of duty, prompting Rosa to feel conflicted because she’s still not into him but she also feels bad about turning down the guy who saved her life. When Charles later apologises for pursuing Rosa so obsessively, the apology itself - and the idea that Charles was in the wrong - is quickly buried by Rosa complimenting him. When Charles gets engaged and doesn’t invite Rosa to his wedding, she is upset since she has made a concerted effort to be his friend despite his garbage behaviour, and Charles throws his fiancee Vivian under the bus by claiming that SHE had a problem with Rosa coming to the wedding. Rosa later finds out about this, and follows up with...nothing? She sacrifices her and Gina’s secret sanctuary to give Charles a place to call Vivian in private (Charles repays this by immediately spilling the secret to Scully and Hitchcock, because he sucks), and then after Vivian breaks off the engagement, Rosa spearheads the effort to comfort Charles, culminating in her affirming to him yet again that he’s a good guy. The escalation of the whole Rosa/Charles subplot centres firmly around Rosa taking pains to make sure that Charles knows that he’s ~so great~ even though she’s not interested in him, taking it upon herself to comfort his widdle man feelings, as if that’s the most important thing we should be concerned about in this narrative: Charles feelings. By the time the story starts framing any of this from Rosa’s perspective instead of Charles’, Rosa is inexplicably fixating on looking out for him instead of getting any catharsis on her own experience. Rosa is denied her very real right to be angry and upset about the way Charles has treated her - and considering she’s already an angry person, it seems especially egregious that she is denied this feeling with him and instead exhibits the most softness and compassion we’ve seen from her so far - as ever, the narrative reinforces the idea that Charles deserves our sympathy in this scenario and that while Rosa does have the right to refuse his attention, she also owes it to him somehow to coddle his emotions and make efforts for him despite how he has totally disregarded her emotions for the past year. At no point do they imply that Charles is accountable for his actions, or that he has done anything worse than just having a cute unrequited crush. Poor Charles, so hapless, but don’t we all identify with that? From me personally, it’s a resounding NO.

After the season finale, I noted that Jake Peralta’s mature confession of his feelings for Amy creates a great counterpoint to Charles’ behaviour, and I’m gonna wrap this up by explicating that claim. The thing about Jake is that, sure, he’s immature - it’s one of his primary character traits as set out in the Pilot episode - and his immaturity does affect others in his life negatively at times, but mostly it’s self-contained, impacting the way that Jake lives but not adversely affecting others, and when he DOES adversely impact others, he tends to recognise that, apologise, and make it up to them. Jake doesn’t like to be reminded of his shortcomings or forced to focus or dwell on them, but he also takes responsibility for his own behaviour when it threatens the harmony of other people’s lives. Charles is presented to us as a much more mature adult character, and yet he is completely absent Jake’s self-awareness and willingness to shoulder his own emotional labour (or at least not dump it on others instead); he seemingly does not care in the slightest about the impact his behaviour has on others, and he’s happy to take advantage of the compassion of his friends. We see this obviously in the entire Rosa fiasco and the way the show has her pick up his slack, but she only gets the worst of it; see also, the entire squad avoiding Charles after his shooting because of his exhausting exploitation of their gratitude (never presented as malicious exploitation, but lacking any recognition from Charles that he is overwhelming others’ good will), and of course his ridiculous depression-spiral after Vivian breaks up with him, which is entirely attention-seeking rather than mirroring personal unhappiness; his actions are specifically designed to get in everyone else’s faces about how they should be sympathetic to him. He also throws people under the bus rather than dealing with his problems, as he does with Rosa’s wedding invitation as noted above, and again with Jake after he asks Jake to help him talk to Vivian about not wanting to move to Canada. And we’re supposed to sympathise with this guy? We’re supposed to laugh at how poor Charles just isn’t very good at handling confrontation or being basically responsible for his own actions? Compared to Charles, Jake’s immaturity is hardly worth mentioning, because at least Jake has mastered common decency. Charles is a whiny man-baby foisting his emotional labour off onto others and expecting to be coddled in return, a guy who harasses his coworker and then acts blithely ignorant to the meaning of plain words when she tells him she’s not interested (repeatedly), a guy who never had a personal problem that he didn’t try to make someone else handle for him. This show is MOSTLY delightful, but Charles Boyle is not. Charles Boyle is a small nightmare, and not a funny one, and it makes me concerned about the mindset of the creators of the show that they apparently think Charles is a good joke. They’re gonna have to make some really strong changes to the way they handle Charles and Rosa (independently and in interaction) in the future, or I am gonna be an angry out-grouper.

#Brooklyn Nine-Nine #Brooklyn Nine-Nine season one #full season review #Bechdel Test #female representation #B99

[peruprison51]

The future of Minecraft

Minecraft is the quickest rising Java sport in the Internet history. Whether you need to play Minecraft or Minecraft: Java Edition with pals, our hosting is the best choice for your games. It was designed as a type of extension language to, permitting nearly drag and drop of Java information into Groovy programs. Many individuals have now performed Minecraft, it's an incredible amusement and people prefer to make, battle, mine and even specialty on it, however why do people actually like the diversion? Though developments information players rationally via the game, they are liberated of one another; development will be completed without having finished the advancements "before" it. These tools might help educators. This version of the popular sandbox game aims to assist educators create a studying-primarily based digital atmosphere to maintain college students engaged. With this Minecraft download, teachers and educators are able to promote problem-solving, collaboration, and creativity through an enticing digital setting. These are broken down into cutscenes, branching conversations, fast-time occasions and puzzles. Should you spaced it correctly, the water should flow down the bridges and stop right at the sting of your properly.

Make confident that the precise adaptation of Objective. Buena Vista Photos Sci-fi comedy is not at all times successful, and this Douglas Adams adaptation is both going to be bizarre in a good way, if you're aware of the supply materials, or bizarre in an unfunny, complicated means. So whether we build ufo's or spaceships from sci-fi motion pictures, it's up to you. Some universities advocate that their doctoral college students build in digital detox instances as a way to fight Zoom fatigue. Additionally, Minecraft Education Version lets your students be taught mathematics, English, biodiversity, and several other different topics creatively. While platforms like Udemy focus on track-based studying, Minecraft Education Version takes a distinct strategy. It looked very practical, which is tough to do in a recreation like this. The taking pictures kills are the keys to win this sport. 2. Vanilla solely No mods that add new blocks or gadgets are allowed. No other submissions can be allowed. Fantastically, gamers won't worry about the money because their budgets are stuffed with 999, 999 gold bars. No resource packs are allowed.

3. Optifine is allowed if it would not change the textures. You can use optifine all you need, so long as you don't have better grass, connected textures, etc enabled. Can also be in upper ambiance of earth. He can fight towards a participant who is controlled by the pc or one other player in the same world. One phrase: "Constructive Creativity" (All proper 2 phrases, who cares,).The Minecraft Arena will enable customers to create absolutely anything they'll need. One individual wrote, 'Am I the one person who thinks McDavid's home seems good? Execute the hostile creatures earlier than they invade the house. This specific model of the sport comes with plenty of modern options for classroom use. This system comes with an ‘Hour of Code’ toolkit to fulfill classroom learning targets by way of lesson plans, video tours, and comprehensive FAQs. With this app, you may teach students the fundamentals of coding with ‘Hour of Code’ lessons.

The players can use a very effective pencil to paint nice colour on the components of physique, a bucket to fill the shade up, an eraser to tune or undo in the event that they paint wrongly. Have a ton of fun without expecting to dive into the more profound components of Minecraft. 3. Third, the app developers have their own status to consider and, earlier than their app installer was launched publicly, it was completely tested to ensure it was trouble-free. If in case you have a Microsoft Workplace 365 Training account, Minecraft Schooling Edition is free to try. When you obtain Minecraft Schooling Edition, it presents assist for community boards, lesson plans, and even a My Classroom feature. Even in the course of the trial period, you get entry to a great deal of content. In actual fact, Mojang has partnered with WWF (World Wildlife Fund) to create a complete content material package deal. Runescape Any minecraft model is allowed and chances are you'll build with custom terrain, inventive mode, world edit or and so forth as lengthy as it does not add any new blocks to the sport. 8. Datapacks are allowed This contains customized mob heads or armor stands. 7. New textures are allowed The brand new variations of Jappa's textures are allowed to be used along with outdated legacy textures.

#Arttalk #Games #Minecraft #runescape

[glendahensley51]

BULLY - Stop Bullying Even When the World Encourages It

American Culture

Bullying is deeply ingrained in American culture long-term, but the public is becoming more aware and fewer people are accepting bullying behavior towards themselves. it helps to hear or see others stand up to bullying.

From where does bullying come? What causes bullying and who will stop it?

Having worked with clients and patients on both sides of bullyism over three decades, I can offer some understanding from my experience, along with some peer-reviewed references.

Bullyism and its worst form, the chronic abusiveness of domestic violence, child abuse, and others is partially related to the competition of war and winning by any means – or, dirty fighting. Even in “clean” warfare or the good sportsmanship woven into sporting competition, one side usually wins, with power over the other side. Even sports have bloodshed.

From where does bullying come? What causes bullying and who will stop it?

Bullying

Death In the Classroom - A School Bully Can Kill Your Child Designing and studying effective Anti-Bully Programs have been one of my priorities in my fields of Preventive Medicine, Sports, and Education. I began anti-bully activties while still in high school and they have worked. While Canada is ahead of the

Hostile Work Environment - How to Handle the Office Bully and Financial, Verbal, Emotional, and Phy Al types of bullying can occur in the workplace. Be aware of what may happen to you or your children at work, and help to spread the word. Some US States are considering Anti-Workplace Bullying laws.

Why do women stay in violent relationships Why does anyone stay in a violent relationship? Why do women hang around when they know their husband or boyfriend might injure or even kill them? In asking why a person stays in an abusive relationship, we are assuming that the person has a choice,

Biological Survival and Competition

Farthest back in time, bullying or bullyism can at least partially be tied to the survival of stronger humans against weaker individuals, from early humans to contemporary cultures. This includes the competition for resources like food, water, sex/reproduction, and shelter; up the scale to land and cattle; further up the scale to today’s tangible and intangible valuables.

Long ago, the strongest individuals took the resources they targeted and rebuffed or killed others they considered threats to those resources. it still occurs today. I see the same behaviors in the form of intense competition in the workplace, in some sports, in schools. in the rise of the popularity of Reality Shows, and even in some churches and clubs.

There is evidence that over crowding and over population fuel bullyism. The classic references for that is a 1958 experiment published by researcher Bill Calhoun in 1962. I’ve referred to the study several times on HubPages since early 2007 in discussing population, immigration, competition, and global warming and their interactions. In February 2011, a HubPages Forums thread in Politics and Social Issues opened on this specific experiment, which students and scientists have long-ago nicknamed “too many rats in a cage (or box).

From survival, the phenomenon has transferred to everyday industrialized life: preschool, school, the workplace, clubs, churches, what have you. In a study my research group completed in the mid-1990s, the Number One problem in my county’s school systems from daycare and preschool to 12th grade was reported as violence among children and youth to one another and to adults.

Is bullyism and its violence necessary for humans to survive?

Interesting Perspectives On Bullying

Competitive sports have roots in war and interestingly, many people do not want to participate in a non-competitive sport. Is this a survival trend embedded in human DNA?

Emotions and Abuse: Are Humans Naturally Violent?

Social and Political Power

More so than in the war analogy, bullying manifests as the cowardice that picks on those smaller, weaker, or less socio-politically powerful than oneself.

Although some research shows that bullies have been bullied themselves, the targets of bullies are also sometimes some sort of threat to the bully.

The targets threaten to receive or to have the potential to receive attention, love, education, a good job, money, fame, responsibility, and authority, along with other intangibles and tangibles. Thus, bullies can be seen picking either on 1) smaller, weaker people or animals; and. or 2) people that may attract larger amounts of power than the bully. Some of the most frequently occurring and clearest cases of Number 2 in modern times are a) women abused by mates when they gather friends, are offered a job, etc. and b) children and youth that do well in school in academics; in arts, music, drama, etc.; or in all.

The research of Dr. Dan Owleus (below) is highlighted by the American Psycholocial Association. It focuses on the bully with anger and impulse control problems, the need for power, consistent defiance toward adults, and lack of empathy. This suggests a sociopath, making bullies mentally ill. This research does not directly link to competition, although a sociopath may seem to be in competition against the world, in a way, at least to people he or she rebuffs.

Bullying Can Cause Severe Mental Disorders

Bullying by peers may increase the risk of the bullied developing psychotic symptoms later in life. The 2011 study, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, used data from the Environmental Risk Longitudinal Twin Study, which follows 2,232 twin children and their families.

Mothers of the children were interviewed and, at age 12, children were asked about bullying experiences and psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations, delusions or paranoia. The study found that children who were bullied by peers were more than twice as likely to experience psychotic symptoms at age 12 compared with children who did not suffer similar trauma.-- Arseneault et. al., 2011.

Role of Substance Abuse

Bullying, especially domestic violence and child abuse are often accelerated by the use of alcohol and drugs. Many adults perpetrators of abuse are found to suffer a Dual Diagnosis mentla health disorder (meaning more than one Severe Mental Disorder or SMD) and in my city, the average number of SMDs among the clients and patients I saw was 4 SMDS. Alcohol and/or substance abuse was one of the SMDs we usually saw.

A proportion of teens and pre-teens use alcohol and drugs, but I have no data about how this relates to their bullying other youth or younger children. It is reasonable that some targets of bullying at these ages begin to use alcohol and/or drugs to escape their related anxiety and fear.

Response and Treatment

Prevention

Prevention is more effective than treatment in many conditions and diseases. For example, washing you hand often is preferable to becoming ill and dying with an untreatable strain of flu.

People are dying from the actions of bullies. Bullies sometimes kill their targets and sometimes drive their targets to commit suicide. Bullyism can be accepted as a disease and treatment offered, but it seems difficult to be successful. Prevention is more effective than treatment as it is in many diseases and conditions.

The phenomenon and potential of bullyism may ever be eradicated from our culture completely. As the planet becomes more crowded, bullyism may be stimulated to occur more than ever. Therefore, children can benefit from training to resist its actions and effects. So can adults that do not know how to effectively resist bullies.

A System of Steps

There are checklists round the Internet of steps to take to diffuse and avoid bullies.

One of the most important steps in prevention of bullyism is to not allow yourself to be near it. Do not be a target by not being around a bully or by not looking as though you are affected by him or her.

Calm confidence, straight posture, and chin-up, head-up, eyes alert stance is recommended both sitting and standing if a bully is near.

Ignoring name-calling and other insults and walking away from them is also recommended.

Report school bullies to teachers, administration staff, parents, and even the police if necessary and expect results. This should happen at work as well, but not all employers or HR departments are fast to respond - sometimes EEO action must be initiated.

Other steps are listed in the link below.

Comprehensive Checkists from the APA

Bullying Bullying is aggressive physical contact, words, or actions that are intended to cause another person injury or discomfort. Cyberbullying is generally characterized as using an electronic device for aggressive, repeated and intentional acts of bullyin

Effective Anti-Bully Campaigns

BullyBeware - Bullying, School Bullying, Cyber Bullying, Bullying Programs, Bullying Resources BullyBeware provides resources, information and products to help prevent and deal with school Bullying.

Bystander Effect

As in the original Kitty Genovese case that brought the bystander effect of watching viloence and not reporting it to public attention, modern cases of bullying are drawing bystander effect as well in schools.

Joint Efforts Can End Bullying

It seems to me that parents must teach children not to bully and not to accept bullying and to take action when they see the related behavior. This must be reinforced in schools, where teachers and administrations take action against bullying behavior consistently.

After high school graduation, adults need to use their effective techniques to resist bullies at work, in college, even in clubs, in church, and at the grocery store. Universities and colleges need to continue to act against hazing rituals. In the workplace, increasing numbers of employers need to be alert to bullying and abuse on the job and to act against it. People that see bullying need to report it to appropriate authorities.

Domestic and child abuse agencies are available in many cities to help those targets, but in less densely population areas of the US, these are not always close enough to help. These agencies are part of a system that attmpts to improve itself and reach more people that desparately need their help, but domestic and child abuse are large problems with many side issues. This portion of bullying may be the longest-lived until society is able to eradicate it.

Early Prevention

Prevention in the form of 1) education and 2) clear cut and fair rules and consequences must begin early, given the early age that violence and bullying begins.

In my research group's observations, we found a 4-year-old climbing into cribs at a daycare and biting infants hard on the back as they slept. There was a 6-year-old that jumped onto children and adults, bit their arms, and drew blood, all without intervention by the child’s parents. A few parents urged their children to physically harm other children or their own siblings. We heard substantial name-calling and put-downs among children. Many children would not keep their hands to themselves - constantly pushing, poking, slapping, etc. Many children used large numbers of R-rated profanities, all the way down to the age of 4 years old.

[revlatte]

Sanctuary: Pre-Launch Thoughts

It’s Sunday morning here in the Land of the Sky. I sit in front of a computer screen, alone down a very long drive way. There’s tea brewing in the kitchen. Jill Scott is playing on my Spotify. The track is currently “He Loves Me.” I’m in winter socks, plaid boxers, and a University of Tennessee Center for Leadership & Service long-sleeve shirt I received as a gift for participating on an alumni panel. My plaid pants are laying on the bed next to me with a pair of long johns inside. The heater is set to “4″. I have no clue what temperature that is but it’s warm enough. The curtains are still drawn because I’m a Pisces and love lurking in the dark, even in the day light. I am about to light 3 candles to be obedient to my partner’s ancestors. 

Admittedly, my brain is not firing as strongly as it used too. This gives me great pause and reason for concern. It’s almost as if my brain reached it’s peak a decade ago when I was working, involved in ministry as a youth pastor, and in graduate school at Wesley Theological Seminary. I’ve spent the last decade searching for my people, my family, my home, my faith community, myself. Perhaps with the Sanctuary Movement, I’m a bit closer. 

3 Thoughts for Today: Hidden Figures, #wearenotinvisible & brewing, Black Star Line Brewing. 

Hidden Figures

One of my good friends here in Asheville and I went to the pre-release to see Hidden Figures on Thursday. I was so proud of Taraji P. Henderson. She is a true come up! From Hustle & Flow to Hidden Figures with Kevin Costner. As a Black American, I understand the significance of this and how Taraji is maturing as an actress who is commanding respect in Hollywood circles. I may not respect all of her choices in movies but I see her value as an actress and role model. Heck, she inspired me. 

Throughout the movie, there is a common narrative that we as Black women are familiar with. The asshole bosses who lack any emotional intelligence and create hostile work environments and don’t give two shits about how their egoism, patriarchy, heteronormativity, cis-gendered male privilege, misogyny impacts everyone one else. There’s the narrative of having to work harder than everyone else though you’re more qualified and have more experience. The experience of being paid less because of what’s between your legs and the color of your skin. The narrative of others knowing the discrimination you are facing is real but THEY DO NOTHING! They want to protect their safety, their freedom, their privilege. They watch as you face oppression, hatred, bigotry and become ostracized. And, there’s the one person who can see through this shit and validate and affirm our experiences. We, as Black women, so often, play critical roles in the development of institutions, organizations, companies and receive no accreditation. We are written out of history and convinced that we can be nothing more than subservient slaves to capitalism and white supremacy. Hidden Figures broke that narrative. 

I left that movie theater inspired and proud. I left with a fire in my belly that we, the Sistahs of Sanctuary, could do anything. We already are. 

#wearenotinvisible & brewing

When I first came to Asheville and arrived at my home on Lamar Avenue, I declared my new home as sanctuary and a place to land. I told my girlfriend at the time that I wanted to fly under the radar, keep my nose down, not get involved with organizing, and take some space to process and heal. I needed a low-key, “normal” life. That was my desire. 

Within just a few short months, all of that had turned on its head. I was working at the progressive UCC in town. It was a great experience and also really damn difficult. I had the same degree as the co-pastors, comparable experience in many ways, and was in a position of assistant. My options for employment were limited so $14 an hour for 14 hours a week (as it started) was stable and kept the lights on. Additionally, I had some outside contracting work and residuals, so it was all good. While there, I realized my brain was working the same and was too afraid to say anything to anyone. I imagine the pastors could tell something was off. Perhaps none of us wanted to say anything. I was a shell of a person. Through it all, I waited for the moment when they would ask me to preach on a Sunday. Or help with the Eucharist (which I believe is the most sacred and holy of acts in faith communities.) Or do a reading. I waited for an invitation to be a part of the community. Rarely, if ever, did that come. My engagement with the community was structured around ways I was showing up as a staff. This was sad in many ways and I received a sense of home, place, community through it all. Until...

The week before Valentine’s Day 2016. My partner was certain she was going to loose the baby. I was not surprised. Stress, shitty ass nutrition, and a diet of many beers, mixed with older age. This was sad and devastating for me, as their partner. We had dreamed of the baby, names, colors for the walls. The plan was that I would be transitioning to her house to live. All of us, as a family. 

I received a call from the doctor that whatever was growing on and inside of my uterus was growing. Surgery had to be scheduled immediately for that upcoming Tuesday, the 11th. 

Long story short - an emergency hysterectomy for me while simultaneously, my girlfriend was having a miscarriage. Devastation. 

I was out of work from the church and my girlfriend did not want any support or visits. I couldn’t understand but wanted to respect our relationship boundaries. Less than a week later, a white, older, lesbian, wealthy Board member came in to my home and unleashed her white rage on to me and broke a really dear item to me, at my dining room table. In the weeks that followed, the #wearenotinvisible movement was launched to address anti-Black bias in the workplace, primarily in gay/queer organizations. The fall out was shitty. As per usual, folks took the side of the oppressed, did everything in their power to discredit me, and engaged in a long and multi-tiered level of victim-blaming. It was humiliating and devastating. In fact, to this day, the organization has comments on their website about the #wearenotinvisble movement. As SHE said, it’s painful and it hurts. 

Through that advocacy and raising issues around transparency, I was blackballed. Eventually, I had to leave my job at the church. My relationship with my partner was falling apart. And I was in this new damn town, isolated, alone, afraid, unemployed and not employable. I sought Sanctuary. I had to go inward. Once inside, I couldn’t make my way through the mountains, rivers, valleys, and streams of consciousness and trauma. I was alone. 

Over the next year, I would watch friends come and go. Hot and cold. Close and far. It was as if I was walking around town with the Mark of the Beast. In each conversation, I had to give a disclaimer of who I was and what I was about. It fucking sucked. I just wanted to live.... until I didn’t because I couldn’t take it anymore. 

So what does this have to do with brewing? The #wearenotinvisible movement got hijacked and all around town I saw people wearing the shirts that I paid for (for half of them at least), and not knowing the history. It was clear that they knew this one person and bought a shirt to be a part of a movement. 

To be a part of something bigger than yourself. That’s what the Sanctuary Movement is all about. That’s what we are striving to achieve. Collective working, unity, healing, and liberation. To embody the principles of Kwanzaa. 

Well, as I think about the craft brewing industry, to be blunt: it’s fully of really privileged, white, cis-gendered males with a lot of access to cash. If they have enough cash, they can work hard enough (or make others work for them at a fraction of their worth), and amass a great living, if not millions, in just a matter of years. There’s no one in the industry that looks like me. A thick, Black, masculine of center, queer, woman. I know we exist and are excited and interested in beer. We are the under-served, un-tapped market. I know the secret to our success and healing. #wearenotinvisible and yes I can see the Hidden Figures. 

Black Star Line Brewing

Again, you are probably reading this wondering what the hell I’m talking about and how it all comes together and if it’s remotely related to the Sanctuary Movement. The answer is YES!

Sanctuary will initially house 4 Black, queer womyn and their children in the month of January 2016. We will host rituals. Healing circles. Visioning sessions. And begin to create the world we have envisioned. Challenging supremacy, capitalism, and individualism. We are welcoming each other home. To Sanctuary. 

AND, that comes at a cost. Rent is $1200. Utilities will probably average about $200. Water about $100. Internet is $60. Food for all of us around $400. Other items (such as toilet paper, paper towels, etc.), are estimated around $150 a month. If we have a shared car, estimated payment around $350/month. Insurance estimated at $200/month. Total baseline for the household: $1620. Add food and miscellaneous items: That’s $2170. Then, if we’re able to secure a car and insurance for such, we’re looking at $2,720. For the sake of round numbers, let’s say it cost $2800 per month to support 4 Black women and 3 children. That’s it. 

However, we are all coming to the space because we need, desire, and crave Sanctuary and community. Our collective and individual capacities to “work” in the system, to make someone else richer, and to have our worth evaluated at $10/hour at best, is not an option. There needs to be soul-affirming work with dignity, pride, and honor. 

To that end, we’ve asked folks who can see the Hidden Figure and those that know are lives matter, that #wearenotinvisible, to donate to the Sanctuary Movement. To donate in recurring donations, single donations, donate food, cars, whatever and however they are able. We are not a non-profit (because we do not believe in that hierarchy and oppressive structure). We are Sistahs of Sanctuary who are doing the work of healing and starting where it matters the most, with ourselves. 

We have most of the brewing equipment we need to get started. But not the funds for the rest of the materials or equipment. If we are able to brew and partner with our friends at breweries around town, we can make beer, mead, cider, etc. as a viable stream of income to support the community. We can break through the color and gender barrier in the industry and really show strength in self-sufficiency. This could be a model we could replicate and break free from the chains of traditional employment that is exploitative. It is a pathway to our liberation. 

We have the land and space to grow hops and really distinguish ourselves.

As we heal, we will see the launch of Black Star Line Brewing as a testimony to our individual and collective healing and liberation. As a form of resistance and renewal. As a form of Sanctuary in a bottle. 

Alone. Down the long driveway. Over a mason jar of tea. I dream of the tomorrow that is almost here. I dream of Sanctuary. Of our collective brilliance. Of being at the precipice of healing - individual and collective. I dream of the story that our children and grand children will tell about us being bad-ass, radical women who blazed the trail in the craft brewing industry, in commercial cleaning, healing, at life. 

I think of my Sistahs and give thanks. Because of them, I have the will to live. The fight in my belly. Because of them, I can come home. Because of them I am home and have finally found Sanctuary. 

[kristinsimmons]

More Women Are Pursuing Majority-Male Specialties and Changing Patients’ Perceptions

By AMY E. KRAMBECK, MD

With the exceptions of pediatrics and obstetrics/gynecology, women make up fewer than half of all medical specialists. Representation is lowest in orthopedics (8%), followed by my own specialty, urology (12%). I can testify that the numbers are changing in urology – women are up from just 8% in 2015, and the breakdown in our residency program here at Indiana University is now about 20% of the 5-year program.

One reason for the increase is likely the growth of women in medicine – 60% of doctors under 35 are women, as are more than half of medical school enrollees. I also credit a generational shift in attitudes. The female residents I work with do not anticipate hostility from men in the profession and they expect male patients to give them a fair shake. They may be right – their male contemporaries are more egalitarian than mine – but challenges still exist in our field.

Urologists see both men and women, but the majority of patients are male. Urology focuses on many conditions that only affect men such as enlarged prostate, prostate cancer, and penile cancer.  Furthermore, stone disease is more common in men, as are many urologic cancers such as bladder cancer and kidney cancer. So the greatest challenge for young women in urology is to gain acceptance among older men who require examination of their genital region and often need surgery. I’m hopeful that women entering urology today can meet that challenge, largely because we have already made significant progress. For the barriers we still face, leading urologists have blazed a clear path to follow with these three guideposts.

1. Nix the Checkboxes

Any patient might be biased against a certain group of people and not want its members involved in their medical care. Bias aside, some patients have other reasons for preferring certain doctors (prior sexual assault, religious beliefs, etc.). But the only bias or preference we actually solicit on our intake forms is gender, when we ask patients to check if they want a male doctor, female doctor, or have “no preference.”

It’s time to remove that question. The small percentage of patients who have a preference based on religion or past trauma can still make their desires known, but there is no reason to ask every single patient to select the gender of their doctor. The results are discriminatory for both women and men in medicine. In urology, while some men prefer male urologists, research shows female patients prefer female urologists. There’s no reason for our society to support that discrimination.

To be clear, checking a box arbitrarily can have negative consequences for patients, as well as physicians. If we asked patients whether they want the surgeon who gets the best outcomes or one whose outcomes are so-so, they would choose the best every time. But a doctor’s gender is not tied to qualifications. By checking a box to rule out one gender, patients also can blindly rule out the most qualified physician for their needs. That isn’t fair to our patients.

2. Become an Expert

Amy Guise, MD, an urologist at Froedtert Hospital and the Medical College of Wisconsin, has a busy referral practice with a 2 to 3 month waiting list. She treats patients with erectile dysfunction or prostate enlargement, most of whom are referred directly because she is a rare surgeon who offers the most advanced, least invasive procedures.

“I’m happy to see the drastic shift in women joining urology in the last decade,” Guise says. “Still, within medicine as well as among the public, obviously attitudes have not changed completely. Even patients who might prefer a male doctor come to me because of the level of care I deliver. It’s pretty common to hear, ‘I didn’t know what to think about this, but you know what you’re talking about, and you made me feel comfortable.’”

Asked how other women in the profession could attract patients as she has done, Guise offers this advice: “Do better than everyone else. Show your competence and confidence. Establish yourself as an expert and let the quality of care speak for itself.”

Like Dr. Guise, I’ve built a career on my enthusiasm for meeting surgical challenges, and that has set me apart. I spent my residency and seven years of practice at the Mayo Clinic, where I was able to do research, and I’ve published over 200 manuscripts or book chapters. I helped write the AUA guidelines for the surgical management of stone disease and revise the guidelines for the medical management of stone disease.

Now my high-volume, specialized practice is focused on two things: 1) advanced percutaneous removal of large and complex kidney stones and 2) holmium laser enucleation of the prostate (HoLEP) using Lumenis’ MOSES Technology. Few surgeons have performed thousands of these procedures as I have, facing virtually every possible situation and challenge. What’s more, my colleagues and I have done innovative work to turn HoLEP into a minimally invasive procedure where patients can go home the same day and in some cases even leave without a urinary catheter. This improvement in care helped to earn the Indiana University Health Physician Quality Award in 2019.

The result: The vast majority of my patients are referred by outside urologists or find me online because they’re searching for HoLEP. Patients who want my rare experience and results choose me, even if they have some reservations about seeing a female urologist.

3. Sing Your Own Praises

As you’ve read, I’m comfortable listing my accomplishments, but that was not always the case. I was raised to be very modest and humble, and I carried that outlook into my career in medicine. I wanted to talk to my patients about their problems, not about myself. But then reality set in. Patients made comments like, “I really don’t want to talk about this with a woman” or “You’re too young/pretty to do this.” Patients called me by my first name or assumed I was a nurse, despite the “MD” on my jacket.

I realized I needed to overcome not only their discomfort, but also their preconceived ideas of expertise and authority. And the only way to do that has been to comfortably boast. Research shows that although some men prefer a male urologist, they place higher importance on professional skills, clinical experience and medical knowledge – all things women offer as well. Many patients value good listening skills, at which female physicians outperform their male counterparts.

I listen to patients concerns, and then I explain to them that they are in good hands. For example, for a patient who needs surgical treatment of an enlarged prostate, I say, “I’ve done 3,000 HoLEP procedures, and I was the first surgeon in the world to perform HoLEP with MOSES Technology. I’m one of the best people in the world to perform this surgery for you, and you will be satisfied when we are done.” That conversation works very well, but it has taken a long time for me to perfect it and feel comfortable “boasting.” Now it just takes a few minutes, and then we can move past the gender barrier and focus on the patient.

My online profiles list all the same accomplishments, so patients who research me in advance are already comfortable when we meet. In my experience, younger patients are also less likely to object to a having a female urologist or question my abilities. All the same challenges still exist for women in male-dominated specialties, but we’re certainly benefiting from society’s evolution toward equality as well as the reputations we’ve been building for excellence in our fields. With every generation, the adversity women must overcome in the workplace is less, but I do not foresee it disappearing any time soon.  Women must continue to build upon their inherent strengths of grace, dignity, kindness, and hard-earned talent to not only help themselves excel in their careers, but also to smooth out the path for those women who will follow behind them.

Amy E. Krambeck, MD, is the Michael O. Koch Professor of Urology at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis.

More Women Are Pursuing Majority-Male Specialties and Changing Patients’ Perceptions published first on https://wittooth.tumblr.com/

[lauramalchowblog]

More Women Are Pursuing Majority-Male Specialties and Changing Patients’ Perceptions

By AMY E. KRAMBECK, MD

With the exceptions of pediatrics and obstetrics/gynecology, women make up fewer than half of all medical specialists. Representation is lowest in orthopedics (8%), followed by my own specialty, urology (12%). I can testify that the numbers are changing in urology – women are up from just 8% in 2015, and the breakdown in our residency program here at Indiana University is now about 20% of the 5-year program.

One reason for the increase is likely the growth of women in medicine – 60% of doctors under 35 are women, as are more than half of medical school enrollees. I also credit a generational shift in attitudes. The female residents I work with do not anticipate hostility from men in the profession and they expect male patients to give them a fair shake. They may be right – their male contemporaries are more egalitarian than mine – but challenges still exist in our field.

Urologists see both men and women, but the majority of patients are male. Urology focuses on many conditions that only affect men such as enlarged prostate, prostate cancer, and penile cancer.  Furthermore, stone disease is more common in men, as are many urologic cancers such as bladder cancer and kidney cancer. So the greatest challenge for young women in urology is to gain acceptance among older men who require examination of their genital region and often need surgery. I’m hopeful that women entering urology today can meet that challenge, largely because we have already made significant progress. For the barriers we still face, leading urologists have blazed a clear path to follow with these three guideposts.

1. Nix the Checkboxes

Any patient might be biased against a certain group of people and not want its members involved in their medical care. Bias aside, some patients have other reasons for preferring certain doctors (prior sexual assault, religious beliefs, etc.). But the only bias or preference we actually solicit on our intake forms is gender, when we ask patients to check if they want a male doctor, female doctor, or have “no preference.”

It’s time to remove that question. The small percentage of patients who have a preference based on religion or past trauma can still make their desires known, but there is no reason to ask every single patient to select the gender of their doctor. The results are discriminatory for both women and men in medicine. In urology, while some men prefer male urologists, research shows female patients prefer female urologists. There’s no reason for our society to support that discrimination.

To be clear, checking a box arbitrarily can have negative consequences for patients, as well as physicians. If we asked patients whether they want the surgeon who gets the best outcomes or one whose outcomes are so-so, they would choose the best every time. But a doctor’s gender is not tied to qualifications. By checking a box to rule out one gender, patients also can blindly rule out the most qualified physician for their needs. That isn’t fair to our patients.

2. Become an Expert

Amy Guise, MD, an urologist at Froedtert Hospital and the Medical College of Wisconsin, has a busy referral practice with a 2 to 3 month waiting list. She treats patients with erectile dysfunction or prostate enlargement, most of whom are referred directly because she is a rare surgeon who offers the most advanced, least invasive procedures.

“I’m happy to see the drastic shift in women joining urology in the last decade,” Guise says. “Still, within medicine as well as among the public, obviously attitudes have not changed completely. Even patients who might prefer a male doctor come to me because of the level of care I deliver. It’s pretty common to hear, ‘I didn’t know what to think about this, but you know what you’re talking about, and you made me feel comfortable.’”

Asked how other women in the profession could attract patients as she has done, Guise offers this advice: “Do better than everyone else. Show your competence and confidence. Establish yourself as an expert and let the quality of care speak for itself.”

Like Dr. Guise, I’ve built a career on my enthusiasm for meeting surgical challenges, and that has set me apart. I spent my residency and seven years of practice at the Mayo Clinic, where I was able to do research, and I’ve published over 200 manuscripts or book chapters. I helped write the AUA guidelines for the surgical management of stone disease and revise the guidelines for the medical management of stone disease.

Now my high-volume, specialized practice is focused on two things: 1) advanced percutaneous removal of large and complex kidney stones and 2) holmium laser enucleation of the prostate (HoLEP) using Lumenis’ MOSES Technology. Few surgeons have performed thousands of these procedures as I have, facing virtually every possible situation and challenge. What’s more, my colleagues and I have done innovative work to turn HoLEP into a minimally invasive procedure where patients can go home the same day and in some cases even leave without a urinary catheter. This improvement in care helped to earn the Indiana University Health Physician Quality Award in 2019.

The result: The vast majority of my patients are referred by outside urologists or find me online because they’re searching for HoLEP. Patients who want my rare experience and results choose me, even if they have some reservations about seeing a female urologist.

3. Sing Your Own Praises

As you’ve read, I’m comfortable listing my accomplishments, but that was not always the case. I was raised to be very modest and humble, and I carried that outlook into my career in medicine. I wanted to talk to my patients about their problems, not about myself. But then reality set in. Patients made comments like, “I really don’t want to talk about this with a woman” or “You’re too young/pretty to do this.” Patients called me by my first name or assumed I was a nurse, despite the “MD” on my jacket.

I realized I needed to overcome not only their discomfort, but also their preconceived ideas of expertise and authority. And the only way to do that has been to comfortably boast. Research shows that although some men prefer a male urologist, they place higher importance on professional skills, clinical experience and medical knowledge – all things women offer as well. Many patients value good listening skills, at which female physicians outperform their male counterparts.

I listen to patients concerns, and then I explain to them that they are in good hands. For example, for a patient who needs surgical treatment of an enlarged prostate, I say, “I’ve done 3,000 HoLEP procedures, and I was the first surgeon in the world to perform HoLEP with MOSES Technology. I’m one of the best people in the world to perform this surgery for you, and you will be satisfied when we are done.” That conversation works very well, but it has taken a long time for me to perfect it and feel comfortable “boasting.” Now it just takes a few minutes, and then we can move past the gender barrier and focus on the patient.

My online profiles list all the same accomplishments, so patients who research me in advance are already comfortable when we meet. In my experience, younger patients are also less likely to object to a having a female urologist or question my abilities. All the same challenges still exist for women in male-dominated specialties, but we’re certainly benefiting from society’s evolution toward equality as well as the reputations we’ve been building for excellence in our fields. With every generation, the adversity women must overcome in the workplace is less, but I do not foresee it disappearing any time soon.  Women must continue to build upon their inherent strengths of grace, dignity, kindness, and hard-earned talent to not only help themselves excel in their careers, but also to smooth out the path for those women who will follow behind them.

Amy E. Krambeck, MD, is the Michael O. Koch Professor of Urology at Indiana University School of Medicine in Indianapolis.

More Women Are Pursuing Majority-Male Specialties and Changing Patients’ Perceptions published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com