#somehow I don’t know

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

#[big sign that says this post is not exclusively about ts] #mountain goats fan take i know but #(quietly) the confessional style is almost losing impact because every goddamn thing has to be excavated from the depths of the soul now #and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd. #i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist! #something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content #idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently #mine

[ciearcab]

old unfinished painting. something about unpacking feelings towards stampede vash and the other plants

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #it’s been rotting away in my files for a few months and i don’t know if i’ll ever finish it in a way that feels right so. be free #i don’t have the right words to explain this work but it’s something to me somehow #me and my one million wing paintings. atleast my imagery is consistent if not my art

[lazy30]

He’s fine :D

#my art #this is base of a meme I found on pinterest #I love him somehow #huggg #dreblr #c!dream #dream fanart #dsmp #dream smp #oohhh if you guys don’t know this is was my c!dream design after the prison #so yeah he’s fine >:D

[indigovigilance]

The Final Fifteen is about Terry Pratchett's Death

read on Ao3

The final fifteen is obviously a major plot point, and serves a role in a story that was written long before Terry Pratchett was ever diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. But the scene itself wasn’t written until just a few years ago, during the writing of Season 2. In fact, the scene came about during a park bench conversation between Neil Gaiman and John Finnemore.

Others have noted that the non-romantic kiss that signals the story moving into the third act is a Neil Gaiman staple. The function of such a kiss, from Gaiman’s perspective, is to communicate.

In 2023 we are seeing a lot of stories written by men, for men, about men who are best friends and discover that their friendship can go deeper than the norms of society would usually allow; that platonic and romantic love are not so far apart, and perhaps the better word for a relationship that can be described this way is intimacy.

Neil Gaiman has made it clear in interviews that his friendship with Terry Pratchett was deeply intimate. They began collaborating on what would become Good Omens in the 1980’s, endured a tumultuous experience together through the first publication, wherein Neil offered to martyr himself on behalf of Terry if the book failed, and then spent the better part of two decades touring the world, meeting the people who loved their work. Neil would even off-handedly remark that Terry’s fans were so cheerful, and Neil’s seemed like they were ready to kill themselves; wouldn’t it be nice if they got married? From the outside, it looks very much as if Terry was Aziraphale-coded, and Neil was Crowley-coded, working together in an unexpected partnership to make the world a little bit more tolerable for the humans inhabiting it. I am not conjecturing that Neil and Terry had romantic inclinations the way their fictional characters do, but I think it is fair to say that their opposites-attract intimacy became an important part of who each of them were.

In 2007 Terry Pratchett was diagnosed with posterior cortical atrophy, a rare form of Alzheimer’s. As the disease progressed, he began to lose himself, and knew that the person he used to be was slipping away. He wanted to end his life on his own terms, and die as himself, but England did not and still does not allow for voluntary euthanasia or assisted suicide. He advocated for the right to die but never achieved it, and ultimately succumbed to the disease in 2015. Neil Gaiman has spoken a lot on the topic of death, and one answer of his that resonated with me reads:

Mostly it feels terrible. It even feels terrible when it’s someone who has been in a lot of pain for a long time or has not really been there for a long time and you know that Death has in some ways been a blessing: suddenly you are mourning the whole person. 

It doesn’t get easier as you age. It gets stranger. The point where you realise how many people you used to know and like who aren’t there any longer, and you cannot talk to them or see them or laugh with them is painful in a way that I had never expected. The first time that someone you had a romantic relationship with dies and you realise that there had been moments both of you shared and now you are the sole custodian of those moments and one day you will be gone and they will be lost forever is peculiarly strange and hard. 

~~~

The entire show is seeded with references to Terry Pratchett, but the most important one is the one that’s missing. Neil Gaiman cameoed as a sleeping moviegoer in S1E4, but a long time ago, he and Terry had discussed cameoing as sushi restaurant-goers, because sushi was weirdly prominent in the book. That cameo would have been in S1E1. But when it came time to do it, Neil couldn’t. Not without Terry. 

Neil: I was gonna say our location is a Chinese restaurant we’d had turned into a sushi restaurant. So Terry and I, Terry Pratchett and I, had a standing… not even a standing joke, just a standing plan, that we were going to have sushi - there was going to be a scene in Good Omens where sushi was eaten and we were gonna be extras, we were gonna sit in the background, eating sushi while it was done. And I was so looking forward to this and, so I wrote this scene with it being sushi, even though Terry was gone, with that in mind and I thought: Oh, I’ll sit and I’ll eat lots of sushi as an extra, this will be my scene as an extra, I’ll just be in the background. And then, on the day, or a couple of days before, I realized that I couldn’t do it.

Douglas: You never told me this before either. I might have pushed you into doing it, had I known. I think you were right not to tell me.

Neil: I was keeping it to me self ‘cause I was always like: Oh, maybe I’ll be… this will be my cameo. And then I couldn’t. I was just so sad, ‘cause Terry wasn’t there. And it was probably the day that I missed Terry the most of all of the filming - it was just this one scene ‘cause it was written for Terry and all of the sushi meals we’d ever had and all of the strange way that sushi ran through Good Omens.

~~~

In the Final Fifteen, it is clear that Crowley and Aziraphale want to stay together. They love each other. They each know that the other loves them. There’s nothing that needs to be said, no convincing that their bond is true and real and precious.

But Aziraphale has to go to Heaven, and Crowley cannot follow him there.

I cannot speculate what it must have been like for Neil to endure losing a friend who, though I’m sure he desperately wanted to still be in his life, he also knew that life had become a burden to him, and grieved that Terry was not able to choose the time and manner of his departure from this Earth. This sort of complex grief, we fan-ficcers know, is the kind that is often best processed through story-telling. 

I think that what we see Crowley going through in the Final Fifteen, alongside its importance to the story arc of Good Omens overall, is Neil processing his grief at losing his friend Terry Pratchett, and even the kiss, that violent, terrible, awful kiss, was the symbolic representation of Neil saying goodbye.

#neil gaiman #terry pratchett #aziraphale #crowley #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #ivoc #this meta ended up being only about 2/3 the length of my usual metas and somehow that feels appropriate because Terry's life ended too soon #and the jarring brevity of this piece parallels that feeling of sudden unexpected loss #for me anyways I don't know about you guys #if this made your eyes even slightly moist you are obligated to reblog to help someone else feel their feels #I don’t make the rules #but them is the rules #blessed by Beelzebub

[firelise]

I've seen thousands of Evelyns, but never a Evelyn like you. You have so many goals you never finished. Dreams you never followed. You are living your worst you. I can't be the worst… what about the hot dog one? No. Everyone here agrees. This one's worse.

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)

#this movie has so many good lines its so hard to pick like #'I don't know what the heck is going on. But somehow it feels like this is my fault. I don’t know. The only thing I do know #is that we have to be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on.' ??? banger #everything everywhere all at once #eeaao #evelyn wang #michelle yeoh #jobu tupaki #cgedits #mygifs #movie gifs #gifsets #film #filmgifs #cinematv #hd gifs #highly recommend reading the script holy fuck how did they write this

[iscreamkitty]

Hamato gremlins

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt fanart #oodle doodles #tmnt mikey #tmnt karai #karai #I never know how to tag karai #should I say oroku karai? #hamato karai? #what is right? #it all feels so disrespectful somehow #I don’t want to tag a million different karai tags tho #that’s embarrassing #but I want to be respectful #anyways yeah they hype each other up and she loves seeing him be a little evil #for fun #but then they also connect emotionally and they’re very attached and idk the LOVE each other and are siblings #idkdk you get it

[cashweasel]

I’ve not seen anyone talk about Julia Belmont yet which is crazy because,, she looks like this?! My honest reaction seeing her on screen was “damn boy that’s your mommy??” Can she be my mommy too? She’s stunning. I want her so bad rip tho queen

#idk what I expected her to look like but not this lol #on my knees fr #also am I the only one who thinks she has a little bit of sypha in her? fjskskdj #I’ve only watched the first ep tonight but istg if we get some trevor and sypha flashbacks that I don’t know about yet #i will break down #edit: ok I just found out this was like 9 generations after them lol #somehow that makes me very sad tho 9 gens and they’re gone and alucard is still here #he met not only their kids but their descendants #:( #castlevania #castlevania nocturne #also richter is baby (literally) he’s a smol child and I love him #babe how old are you? 17?

[geneslovee]

“when the cancer starts getting really bad…”

#ugghshxhhsbfjdjfhsh. #I just wanted to sketch something with them and it spilled into this somehow #I don’t know #what are those stars? don’t ask me #I’m sick they make me sick #house md #hilson #gregory house #james wilson #myart #2023

[hamable]

It’s really interesting to me how elusive Kipperlily Copperkettle has been throughout what is now the first half of the season.

She’s the closest thing we have to an identifiable Big Bad. She gets established in episode 3 to be constantly vigilant, capable of eavesdropping on anything and everything.

And then she’s physically MIA (iirc) for seven episodes, barring her scene with the food trucks at the start of episode 7. I think she’s said to be present at the assembly this most recent episode (ep 10) but she doesn’t appear to be an active participant in anything. That inaction is eating away at me… bc I know she’s doing something.

Talk about haunting a narrative… I’m constantly aware of her nonexistence. I’m paranoid. With every episode that we don’t hear from or interact with KLCK, she grows more terrifying to me. Brennan made sure to establish right away that she could be listening at literally any point. Riz tried to keep that at the forefront of his mind initially, but even he let that idea fall to the wayside as stress built up and time passed.

I think we’ve settled into a false sense of security in this respect. I think that at any point Brennan can and will drop a KLCK bomb on us and oh boy it’s gonna be deliciously messy.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #kipperlilly copperkettle #brennan lee mulligan #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #I didn’t even mention that Aylwen is somehow working for her??? #KLCK is clearly pulling threads behind the scenes and I can’t tell how or to what extent and it’s fascinating #yknow that idea that like if someone went back in time to change the past no one would notice bc to them that’s just how it is? #it’s like that to me. she could just a That Bitch at school or she could be the Mastermind behind the curtain and I Don’t Know Which!!!!! #she fascinates me #I want to put specifically her character’s influence under a microscope

[forgetful-nerd]

Ok I’m super excited for a possible tmnt crossover but there is something that has been bugging me….

How is 2012 Mikey doing that with his nunchucks?

Like boy……that is not how physics works????

How is he doing this?

AND THEN THERES MICHELANGELO OVER HERE—JUST—DOING IT CORRECTLY?????

Do the laws of PHYSICS not apply to 3D turtles?!

#is this some joke? are they making fun of the 2012 series somehow? #or is like a different artist thing? #I don’t read many comics or know much about art in general #whoever drew 2012 Mikey seems to be leaning heavily into the fact they are the 3D animated turtles #because he looks so different comparatively #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt crossover #2012 mikey #michelangelo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt comics

[fumifooms]

Firefly Wedding is so…

It’s so

It’s them. It’s "It’s just a firefly, they’re meant to die soon. Why should I care about the sick, or the poor?"

It’s "I was purposely trying to scare you and push you away to see how far you were willing to go with your act, how desperate you were to play with my feelings as if I was a fool, but it didn’t work."

It’s "I know you’re just using me but now I care. Please keep using me. I need you to need me."

It’s choosing to give her her freedom anyways. Because your love is no longer all about you, no longer selfish. Because this love isn’t just a shallow balm to soothe your complexes anymore.

It’s being betrayed, finally facing the lies and no longer pretending you both don’t know that this is a farce, but desperately wanting to keep it going anyways. It’s "I should hate you now. Why don’t I? Hey, tell me we’ll go through with the plan, tell me you’ll marry me after all. Otherwise, why am I still here? Why don’t I want to leave? You act like you don’t need me but I still need you."

Like that’s so revolutionary for a yandere story. The self-delusion is strong, denial that things have changed despite it being impossible to truly believe, BUT HE STAYS. It’s no longer selfish 😭😭

"I don’t care about you anymore, I won’t help you. Get yourself killed for all I care." <- Jumps to her rescue 3 milliseconds later when she almost falls down a ladder/roof. It happens twice. The ‘lying and trying to emotionally distance yourself from something to protect yourself and not get hurt’ defense mechanism is blatant and it’s failing really bad.

It’s "My sense of duty and goals to have accomplished something useful in my short life are making me do this, but I do want you to stay with me." The yandere stuff here gets turned on its head because what he says is empty where it matters and meaningful where it matters. It’s knowing that if Satoko asks him not to kill anyone he won’t, but knowing that he won’t give up on her no matter what, even if she’s unattainable, even if she’s sickly, even if she pushes him away like just before. It’s so thinly veiled for "I’m determined to see my goal through, but that’s not what I want. If you just so happen to take me away and I don’t try to run away hard enough then we can elope and be free. I want to have an excuse to leave with you. Please give up on marrying me. Please don’t. I want that, but I can’t."

It’s "If I didn’t burn brightly in my short firefly life, then what was the point?"

Except that burning brightly doesn’t have to mean making big achievements, or being useful to your family.

It can be living happily, living for the ones you love, fighting for them. It can be worth to risk it for things that actually matter to you.

It’s giving your heart to someone, figuratively and literally. To lend it to them even if it might get used or battered, for as long as it beats to use your body to protect them, even if you have to sacrifice yourself. A love that burns bright into a bonfire before they both turn to ashes. Unwise but wholehearted.

It’s despite even that, needing grandiose gestures to be able to trust that this is real. It’s needing external cues that prove it to feel safe in their love existing, other people to confirm that he’s not crazy, that this is happening and this is how they both feel. Their love has been fake, both being a warped love and being a lie, only being out of necessity or because the other was the only one willing to offer it to them, offering comfort, safety, support and care. And showing that they care is the most loving of all It’s despite everything falling back into old habits that "Oh if she was miserably worried for me then that means she’s not indifferent to me! That’s good!" And then once again being taken aback by her, by her earnestness and by her will. Because oh, no, this goes deeper than that. She cares. It’s love.

It’s opening your heart up to love, and both being punished and rewarded for it.

But most of all it’s

And it being the most loving thing he’d ever heard

Firefly Wedding is so…

And yet it’s also

The complicated and hurtful nature of love and the joy and light it brings are two sides of the same coin, because that’s what inevitably happens when you care about something. But caring about a firefly isn’t a waste even however short lived it is, or how hard the loss will inevitably hit you. Isn’t their light just such a wonder to witness?

#hotaru no yomeiri #firefly wedding #firefly marriage #firefly wedding fandom how we feeling #Spoilers #he’s like Denji except. Worse #Lmk if i need to take out the pictures or smth #I genuinely don’t know if firefly wedding will end happily or in tragedy I AM SCARED??! #Iirc the very beginning is a letter that says how she died?? Anyways i am so fine and cool and collected #Ah yes my favorite genre dark romance that manages to become healthy somehow by the end of it <3 #Can’t believe they invented love in 2023 #It’s like seeing them slowly work through loving someone loving yourself and loving life live it’s so good #Gimme the sad af dark romance about what it means to love someone 😤

[bongwateriero]

ok

#i’m sorry i don’t have photo creds because it’s from frank hourly #but if anyone somehow knows who took this lmk! #and i’ll add the source #rat posts #frank

[oobbbear]

She’s the brightest pearl

#my art #witch au #oc #tw insects #cw insects #centipede is not insect but I don’t think ppl who cares about that tag would want to see one so- #I love her #I havent drawn her in ages and I want to apologize to her #uahhhhhh #that legs took me so long #but I would always do it again #will reblog a million times bc I love how it came out #prepare to get spammed #I need to sort her lore out somehow #I know people wouldn’t want to interact with some random oc they see #if need to get ppl to be as attached to my ocs as I do #that’s like my life goal #will get there someday #🤞 #cw bugs #tw bugs

[isdalinarhot]

hello everyone who did not initially read Stormlight via audiobook. Could you do a favor for me. Reblog/comment with how you pronounce Sadeas (or used to pronounce, if you have since corrected yourself to match canon pronunciation). I swear to god everyone on earth has a new fucked up way to pronounce it

#my answer is boring because I read it in my head as the canon pronunciation (sad Phineas but without the phin) #and I was like I know I am pronouncing it wrong but I don’t care </3 #but I wasn’t pronouncing it wrong. somehow #luke.txt #greatest hits

[kaijuno]

So I understand and respect changing your vocabulary to be more inclusive, but if I ever hear someone refer to me as a “birth giver” or “womb haver”, I’m fucking attacking them

#like you’ve somehow managed to get even more misogynistic???? #is that terfy??? I don’t know but I’m sure someone will call me a terf for this #I’m so fuckin sure of it

[enduracarrotchips]

i havent played omori but i think she deserves big shoes

#despite seeing almost exclusively omori content on my dash at all times i somehow do not know the plot of this game #besides #-only sane character gets pushed down the stairs and dies leaving the story in the hands of emotionally challenged 12 yr olds #-sunny is a maladaptive daydreamer / tiktok shifter (?) #-one of them looks like a gym teacher #-basil is my favourite #anyway #omori #aubrey #consistency? i don’t know her