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lnkedmyheart · 1 year

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This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

#soukoku #ah my ramblings #i just really really love the light novels #i am mostly joking about the romance of it all #mostly #but Dazai cares about Chuuya and idk I think this is such an important aspect of Dazai's character #like even if you dont lile the ship its really not fair to ignore how much Dazai genuinely cared for Chuuya #not because it supports the ship but because it shows that Dazai despite his claims of being a monster was ridiculously human #he saw this boy he was fasicnated by and he said- I need to keep him as my friend #and proceeded to do it in the most unsocialized troll brained clown way #i love this boy so much #someone hug him please #dont get me wrong I dont think dazai and chuuya's relationship was super healthy but it wasnt as toxic as people make it seem either #yes Dazai desperately needed Oda and Ango but Chuuya was also and is still an important part of his life #long post #i am not going back to chexk for writing errors. I'm sleepy.

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natimiles · 5 months

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Are you here with me? (Jean x MC)

Summary: Those who had the first words with their soulmate marked on their body considered it both a blessing and a curse. For her, it was the latter. When she arrived at that strange mansion and realized Jean was her soulmate, he didn’t show a single reaction, and it hurt.

Words: 3676

Pairing: Jean x f!MC

Tags: soulmate au; soulmate’s first words mark; swearing; attempt at humor; happy ending; no kissing we die like Isaac;

Crossposted on AO3

Those who had the first interaction with their soulmate marked on their body considered it both a blessing and a curse. It was nice to know when you met the love of your life, but sometimes it’d be better to keep it unknown. Some people had names, as if the soulmates were introducing themselves. Others had random phrases, like a light conversation about the weather, and some had swearings and weird things.

When MC turned 18, she stayed home all day. Wearing only her underwear, she checked herself in her bedroom mirror every 5 minutes, anxiously waiting to see if she’d get one and where it would be. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to be marked or not. Was it selfish to only want it if it was a good one? Like ‘hello, nice to meet you’ or ‘I hope we get along’. She hoped not to be something weird or bad, if she didn’t get something nice.

She was already giving up; it was almost midnight and nothing happened. Sighing, she went to put on her pajamas, and that’s when she saw it. The mark appeared on her left arm, going in one straight line until almost her wrist. She quickly sat on her bed to read it.

‘Why haven’t you fled? What is someone like you even doing in this place?’

Was she supposed to be happy? Well, it could be worse, but it also could be better. MC didn’t know if she should feel threatened or not. Would she be too awkward for the mysterious place? Or would said place be so dangerous that they were trying to get her out of there? Seemed like her soulmate was trying to make her run away. Would she be in danger when they meet? She hoped not; she wasn’t an adventurous person. Sighing for the nth time that day, she finally laid down to sleep. She’d have time until they met (probably), so she decided she’d do everything she could to understand under what possible circumstances they might say it to her.

xxx

When she arrived at that mansion, everything was confusing. Comte invited her to dinner, introducing some residents — all great historical figures — and explaining about the door. She was quite shocked when they told her they were vampires, all brought back by the pure-blood himself. Her first thought was to get up and run as fast as she could, but Comte’s soothing tone convinced her that she was safe there. They seemed like nice people, especially Vincent — completely opposite of his rude brother, by the way. And it helped to know Sebastian was human, so when she was offered a place elsewhere, she decided it wasn’t needed. She could stay there; it would only be a month, and then she’d be home. Nothing would happen.

Next morning, she woke up early, got ready as best as she could, and went to help Sebastian with breakfast. However, her steps stopped when she was in the middle of the hallway. MC saw someone hunched over there, seemingly feeling unwell.

“Are you ok?” She took a few steps closer. “You’re really pale! You’re Isaac, right?” She remembered him introducing himself.

“Get... me,” he muttered under his breath.

“What? I didn’t understand what-”

“Get away from me!” He said louder and went in her direction. She had no time to react; she was suddenly pinned against the wall. “Give me… your blood!”

“W-what?” She asked with an alarmed tone, her eyes wide. “I-Isaac, d-don’t…"

He held her firmly by the shoulders and opened his mouth, looking at her neck with some kind of hunger in his eyes; that’s when she saw his fangs. It’d be better to get some help, considering Isaac was super strong, even though he was almost fainting less than a minute ago. MC took a deep breath, ready to scream from the top of her lungs and draw everyone’s attention and hopefully prevent herself from being bitten.

“Isaac, stop.” A commanding, firm voice sounded, and Isaac froze on his spot.

“W-what?” He sounded confused, letting go of her as if she had burned him and taking long steps back. “Jean…”

“Did you forget to drink your rouge?” The other man sighed. “Come on, let’s get you some.”

The men walked away, leaving her alone again. She stood there, frightened for a good minute before deciding what to do. Her legs took her to the dining room, where a few people she met the day before were.

“Are you ok, MC? Isaac just told us what happened.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you, Vincent,” she said with a smile, glad to remember who he was.

“I asked Theo to call Comte; he will check on you soon. Sebastian is brewing some tea to soothe you.”

Comte arrived in a few minutes, just like the other residents. He checked on MC and apologized for Isaac, explaining his situation. The conclusion was that Isaac spent the whole night awake and didn’t even realize he hadn’t drunk his rouge after dinner.

“I’m glad you’re ok,” he said with a smile. “I’m responsible for your safety, so you have my word that I’ll talk to Isaac later. He can’t be reckless while you’re here with us.”

“Don’t worry, everything is fine.” She waved her hands in the air.

“It’s good Jean was around,” he smiled at her.

As if on cue, someone came from the kitchen. If she wasn’t mistaken, Isaac and Comte called him Jean… Was he Jean D’Arc? Comte mentioned him the night before. Now, taking a better look at his face, MC saw how beautiful he was. He must’ve sensed her staring because he turned to her with a frown.

“Why haven’t you fled? What is someone like you even doing in this place?” he said, catching her off guard.

“I came through the door by mistake…” MC scratched the back of her head, embarrassed. Jean wore a somewhat stern and stoic expression, leaving her feeling a bit self-conscious, uncertain about what he might be thinking of her. “I just thought about helping Isaac; I didn’t even think about-” she abruptly stopped talking. The shock of almost being bitten must have made her slower because she took some time to properly catch what he said. Widening her eyes, she took a few steps in his direction. “Wait, what did you just say?” Her voice sounded louder than she intended, and the residents stopped whatever they were doing to stare at them.

“Um… MC, I don’t think he meant it in a rude way,” Vincent said, sounding worried that a misunderstanding could begin.

“I-I… I just…” she stammered, her voice cracking a little. She couldn’t stop looking at Jean, and the vampire was starting to feel nervous and trapped.

She didn’t know what to do. Was she supposed to say something? But he didn’t say anything; maybe it’s a mistake? Was it really possible that her soulmate was in an entirely different country and century? Well, the country was okay, but the century? Maybe it was only a coincidence that he said the exact same thing as her mark.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t understand clearly what you said. I didn’t think you were rude, and I didn’t mean to be either.” She forced a smile, her thoughts still running wild.

He gazed at her for a few more seconds, his expression unreadable, before turning around and quietly leaving the dining room.

xxx

It had been a whole week, and she was getting used to living there. She offered to help Sebastian during her stay because she didn’t want to be a lazy guest. Her days were filled with household tasks, and her nights were haunted by the mark. She’d stare at her own arm until she fell asleep, overthinking the whole thing with uncertainty gnawing at her. She had heard some people say that when soulmates acknowledge one another, their marks would feel warm. She didn’t feel anything, but she was sure he had said the exact words…

“Oh my, what has our little bird sighing so hard so early?” Arthur’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts as he entered the dining room earlier than anyone else, startling her a little.

“What?”

“Are you alright, luv?” He sat at his usual spot. “You look worried.”

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you,” she answered. Her voice didn’t fool him, and when she sighed again, he confirmed his suspicions that something was off.

He hummed, eyeing her up and down, and shot her a small smile. “You know, I’m really perceptive. Although it doesn’t take a highly observant person to see that something is bothering you.”

“Don’t disturb MC, Master Arthur,” Sebastian said as he came from the kitchen, bringing the trays of food for breakfast.

“It’s fine, Sebas. I’m just thinking about the door and my home,” she said, shrugging. She got Arthur’s coffee and put it in front of him.

“Mmmm, no, it’s not that,” he said, putting a finger on his chin, wondering. “You didn’t seem so distressed when you arrived. You were pretty calm even when we told you we’re vampires. It started later, maybe the next day? Care to share?”

“It’s nothing, really… I guess,” she bit her lip anxiously. He raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms, making her aware that he knew it wasn’t nothing. Sebastian only glanced at Arthur, as a warning not to disturb her anymore. But she sighed in defeat. “Ok, fine.” Taking a deep breath, she closed and opened her eyes, gazing straight into his eyes. “You two know about soulmates?”

“Yes,” they said, nodding. Now that she was willing to talk, Sebastian was genuinely interested in knowing. He had noticed she was worried about something, but when he asked, she just said it was nothing, and he didn’t want to pressure her into sharing feelings when she clearly didn’t want to.

“I have my soulmate’s first words to me marked on my arm. But he… He didn’t say anything about it, so… I don’t know if I’m wrong or if he didn’t like me. Is it possible for soulmates not to like each other once they meet?”

“I don’t think so…” Sebastian pondered. “I think some may take more time to understand and sort out their feelings, but it’s not possible for them not to like each other. Isn’t the whole purpose exactly to make them be together? I don’t think it changed over time; it’s the same in the future and here.”

“I suppose…”

“So, want us to help you with Jean?” Arthur asked.

“W-what? Who told you…?” she stammered in panic, her eyes wide.

The writer laughed as she stumbled for words. “Perceptive and smart, luv,” he said, tapping his index finger on his head to make a point. “You acted really weird when Jean talked to you.” She opened her mouth to debate but decided not to. He was right; she acted weird, and the vampire ran away from her. “Can we see it?”

She nodded and finally rolled her sleeve up. “It’s really what he said, right? I was wondering if maybe I remembered it wrong…”

“I don’t recall his exact words, but I guess that was it,” Sebastian said.

“Now, want to know another fact that made me realize it’s Jean?” Arthur asked with a mischievous tone. She didn’t know if she wanted to know or not but nodded before thinking too much. “Jean can’t read.”

Silence.

“What?” she asked, her voice too loud.

Arthur laughed, amused at her honest reactions. “He doesn’t know how to write or read. Even if he ever saw the mark on his body, he wouldn’t know what it is. I highly doubt he’d ask anyone what was written. You can try asking Mozart, but I think he wouldn’t know about it either.”

“And you’d have to actually talk to Mozart to ask him something,” Theo said, entering the door. “Please, let me see-” he was about to tease her on how the musician was always rude to her, but then he looked at her arm and stopped abruptly. His eyes snapped back at her face.

“Ow, Theo, why did you stop walking?” Vincent asked from behind his brother, taking a step to the side. He looked at her and smiled. “Oh!”

“Great,” she muttered. MC was trying to be discreet, and now it’d be impossible not to talk about it.

“Good…” Isaac entered the room greeting whoever was already there, but he also saw her arm and stumbled with his words. “... morning?!”

And talk about it she would. Apparently, it was really hard to keep a secret in a mansion full of nosy vampires.

Before she knew it, everyone was gathered in the dining room. Whenever someone entered the room, they’d see the strange activity around her and ask what was happening. After having to tell the same thing three times in a row, MC was already tired of all this. But, of course, Arthur had the "bestest" idea for her to tell everything only once more. Those who weren’t morning people were awakened by him to go as soon as possible to the dining room for an urgent meeting.

“Ok, now everyone’s here. You can tell them what happened, luv,” Arthur announced.

“Why am I even doing this again?” She sighed loudly.

“Because we can help you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“And because they’re all too nosy,” Sebastian whispered behind her, meant only for her ears.

“Fine. Here’s the deal…”

She showed her arm and told everything one last time. They were all looking at each other the whole time, searching who might be her other half, and she thought it was kinda funny. When she finally revealed who was supposed to be her soulmate, everyone gaped at her, and Mozart choked on his own blanc.

“It’s a soulmate mark… with Jean?” Napoleon managed to ask, patting the musician on his back to help him breathe.

“Well, probably? We don’t even know if he has a mark either.”

“Jean wouldn’t know,” Mozart said quietly, still coughing a little. “He can’t read.”

“Yes, I know that now,” she huffed.

“He has to have his mark,” Comte said. “It appears on both soulmates, not only one.”

“It’s not in his arms,” Napoleon said, wondering where it could be. “We practice together sometimes, and I’ve seen him roll up his sleeves, but never saw anything there. Mozart, have you ever seen anything?”

“Mmm, we’ve been together in la thermae, and I never saw anything either,” the musician decided to try and help her too, for the sake of his friend. “However, every time I meet him, he’s already there, and I always leave before him.”

“So it’s in his back or his ribs down,” Arthur pondered. “Do you think-”

“No, we don’t,” Theo cut him off shortly, glaring at his friend.

“It doesn’t appear there, Master Arthur,” Sebastian said with a heavy sigh.

“Okay,” she said, trying to gather all the information she had in her mind. “So I know it’s real, but no one’s ever seen it, and we don’t even know where it is. I could try knocking on his door and talking to him myself, but… I don’t think he’d open the door for me,” she grimaced. “Or even believe in me.”

“But he’d open for a friend,” Theo looked at Mozart and Napoleon.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try,” the emperor said, shrugging.

“Should we go… now?” she asked, her anxiety barely at bay. “Is Jean even awake now?”

“I am,” a deep voice sounded from the door, startling everyone and making her flinch.

“Jean!” She looked back and saw him standing there, a confused look on his face. “H-hi!”

“We were about to go look for you!” Arthur said with a smile.

“Why?” The soldier narrowed his eyes. “I don’t wanna participate in whatever you’re doing.”

She tried to keep up with the little banter, but her mind was already elsewhere. She was openly staring at Jean, his eyepatch, his deep-purple eye that looked troubled, and his dark hair that seemed really soft to touch and thread her fingers through. His lean figure was always straight; he walked with both fierceness and grace, his hand resting on the hilt of his rapier as he was ready to battle at any time.

“What is it, mademoiselle?” he inquired, noting her obvious stare.

“S-sorry,” she apologized, turning her gaze down to the floor.

Arthur chuckled slyly. “I didn’t even have the time to properly meet our cute new guest, and Jean already stole her.”

“Huh? I haven’t stolen anyone,” Jean said, looking genuinely confused.

“Don’t listen to Arthur,” Napoleon said, sighing heavily. “Jean, do you have any kind of mark on your body?”

“That’s a strange and private question,” he frowned.

“MC has a soulmate mark,” Vincent said, trying to help.

The soldier didn’t say anything, only tilted his head to the side. Everyone realized he was even more lost on the topic than they anticipated.

“Do you know what soulmates are, Master Jean?” Sebastian decided to intervene, starting with the very first question they should’ve asked from the beginning.

“No.”

“If I may,” Comte called out, and he calmly explained everything, aware that the chances of Jean even believing him were slim.

She extended her arm to show him, hoping to convey the sincerity in their words. Jean, however, remained stoic, staring at her as if processing the information. It took assurances from both Mozart and Napoleon before he began to entertain the idea that the soulmate story could be true.

“Ok,” he said, more confused now than before. “But why do I need to know about all this?”

“By Gods, this is physically hurtful,” Isaac mumbled under his breath.

“Jean, you have a soulmate mark too,” Arthur said, exasperated. “She has one for you, so you have to have one for her. Tell us where it is, before we all die again, and then we can move on with our lives!”

There was a whole minute of silence. She flitted her gaze back to the soldier, and startled when she found him staring at her. His eye wavered; he didn’t know what to do. Arthur wasn’t the most trustworthy person he knew, but everyone was looking expectantly at him. He glanced at Mozart, and his friend nodded, confirming once again that they were telling the truth.

“Jean,” she finally said something directly to him. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this.” She tried to sound calm. Arthur clearly lost his patience, and she was a little afraid that the soldier would either run away or fight him in the middle of the dining room. “We can just forget it if that’s what you’d prefer.”

She sounded hurt, and it made him narrow his face. Why did it bother him? He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, weighing in his head if it really was worthy. But the tug in his heart wasn’t a good feeling and he wanted it to stop. Something in the back of his brain said it’d only stop if he resolved this issue as soon as possible. Without saying a word, he sat down on one of the chairs and began taking off his boot. Everyone looked puzzled.

“My right leg,” he said simply. “It appeared when I was revived. I thought it was something related to being a vampire.”

No one dared say a word; they just waited. When Jean finally rolled up his pants, they saw it. On the outer side of his right leg, starting at his ankle and going up, there were her first words to him. He looked up, expecting someone to read them for him.

“I came through the door by mistake,” Napoleon did it.

Everyone saw it, she saw it. It was real. It was really there. She finally felt that warm feeling; it was like putting a really hot compress on her mark, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It felt like… home. Her eyes met Jean’s, and his stoic expression wasn’t there anymore. He was a little flushed, staring so intently at her, his mouth slightly agape, and his breath hitched in his throat. His fingers were grabbing the fabric of his pants in such a tight grip that his knuckles were white. He felt it too; the warm and cozy feeling starting on his mark and enveloping his whole body.

“Should we leave?” Dazai asked, failing to whisper so she and Jean wouldn’t hear him.

“No, don’t worry,” Jean said. He recomposed himself the best he could to put his boot back on.

“Uh, y-yeah, please, stay and have your breakfast,” she tried to sound calm and polite, but it sounded strained. Apparently he didn’t want to talk or anything. “I’m gonna get everyone’s coffee and-”

“We will leave.” She was cut mid-sentence with Jean in front of her, offering his hand for her to hold. He even bowed a little, looking like a prince from the movies she’s always seen. She blushed, but carefully placed her hand above his.

His lip tugged a little on the side, so discreet that she almost missed his timid and tiny smile. He squeezed her hand and guided her outside. Jean was clueless most of the time, but even he understood that what they needed was a little peace and privacy. In the garden, they settled into the gazebo, hands still together, fingers slowly intertwining.

His mind was running wild; he still thought he shouldn’t be there or that he didn’t deserve this happy feeling. However, her mere presence by his side made his heart strangely calm for the first time in his two lives. He decided to hold onto it. It would take a lot of talking, a lot of understanding, and a lot of quality time together, but he could already see himself warming up to her.

And when he finally felt brave and worthy enough to kiss her, she’d know it was all worth it.

Title from On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz

Soulmates are for life. Since Jean didn’t have one in his first life, it makes sense (for me) that his mark appeared only in his second life, when he would meet MC.

And I made them in the places that would be the reason they met. Her arm, because that’s what she used to open the door to the mansion (it was technically her hand, but you got me). His leg, because his death was what brought him there (it’s kind of Comte’s “fault” he’s in the mansion, but you got me #2).

I’ll be making lots of soulmates au with lots of suitors (but probably not all of them, sorry).

Masterlists

#clueless jean #someone hug him please #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire fanfics #ikevamp fanfics #ikemen vampire x mc #ikevamp x mc #ikevamp jean #ikevamp soulmates #ikevamp jean x mc #ikevamp writings

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