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#someone stay my treacherous hand
astriiformes · 29 days ago
Me: I’m actually going to write several hundred words today!
The reasonable part of my brain: Oh cool! Of your big FTH project you were making progress on the other day that needs to be done by the end of the year?
Me: No, not that:
Reasonable brain: Oh, maybe on your aro longfic you haven’t updated in almost a year? You do still have the whole outline, and someone said something really kind about it here on tumblr the other day.
Me: No, no, I’ve been thinking about that one again, but not yet.
Reasonable brain: Hm. You must be planning on working on your Back to the Future fics then. You know, the ones you got one of your friends to help you with some really awesome research for.
Me: No, I’ve been thinking about those too, especially now that I’ve got a lot of academic resources at my fingertips, but I have other things to tackle.
Reasonable brain: Another Owl House oneshot? You need to not get distracted like that, but it was nice to post something and get some nice comments again, at least.
Me: No.
Reasonable brain: What
Reasonable brain: Are you writing, Nathan
Me: A couple scenes from a potential companion story to a fanfic idea Scribe has -- but that she won’t be working on herself for a while -- and which would be a spoiler I couldn’t share until she’s at least halfway through posting her own story. That she hasn’t written yet. And might not all that soon.
Me: :)
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thesolferino · 6 months ago
⤷ dream x f!reader.
⤷ genre: angst, fluff
⤷ word count: 8.4k
⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!
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— summary: dream asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for a day. things only seem to go downhill from there.
It started as a favor.
On a quiet night in your apartment when you stared at your phone for way longer than your eyes could physically take and rolled around on the bed, talking to one of your best internet friends, Dream, he asked you for a favor. His voice was muffled through the mic on his phone, the one connected to his computer way cleaner, but neither of you could bother getting off FaceTime and call on Discord instead - yet you still heard him loud and clear, because you burst out laughing right after.
“What the hell did you just say?” you laughed, turning on your stomach and opening the call, now entirely focused on the timer that counted every second you spent talking to him instead of your Twitter timeline.
“It’s embarrassing, don’t make me repeat it!” And for that sole reason, you wanted him to repeat it, loud and clear.
“Is this why you were so insistent on me coming down to Florida? So I could pretend to be your girlfriend at your cousin’s wedding so your family doesn’t think you’re a loser?” you laughed, finding the situation entirely absurd as he sputtered, words mashing together, trying to defend himself.
“No! No, I wanted you to come here because we’re friends and I-I wanna meet you, this is just a… benefit, of sorts.” he replied, and you couldn’t help but laugh even harder at his poor attempt of trying to save face.
“Alright, I’ll bite.” you chuckle. “What’s in it for me?”
“Whatever you want.” he responded, much too quick. Your eyebrows raised.
“Whatever I want?” you parroted.
“Yes.” he confirmed. “I’ll buy you something, if you want; I’ll even pay you-”
“Pay me?! I’m not a whore, Dream!” 
“That is not AT ALL what I was saying!” he cut in, yelling as you burst into a new fit of laughter. “It’s just… I sort of already told them I have a girlfriend and I was just hoping you’d say yes ‘cause it’s gonna be very awkward if I show up without the girlfriend in question.” 
You put your head in your hands and he sort of dryly laughed at himself when he heard your palm hit your forehead. “What is wrong with you, man?” 
“Listen, it’s not gonna be so bad! Just stay by my side for a bit, look pretty, we’ll get some drinks, and then dip. That’s it, I promise.” he reasoned.
“And here I thought we were gonna make out in front of everyone. What’s a fake relationship if we don’t make a show out of it?” you sarcastically snickered, and could practically see his eyeroll from miles away.
“If that’s what you want, then we’ll do it, by all means.” he replied and you laughed, shaking your head in mild disbelief.
“Alright, well, if you already told them, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” you huffed, pretending to be way more bummed out about it than you really were. “I’ll do it.” 
“Thank you so much, oh my God.” he replied and you chuckled at the sheer relief in his voice.
A few seconds of silence pass. “What’s the catch?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“How do you want me to publicly embarrass myself in exchange for this favor?”
“Personally, I think that forcing you to tweet that tweet about pissing yourself in bed again and also tweeting that everyone should subscribe to me isn’t “publicly embarrassing” at all.” 
“Maybe I should’ve picked a different fake girlfriend.”
“Sucks to suck, pissbaby.”
The weeks leading up to your meetup felt like years, with every treacherous minute of you two talking over muffled mics and shitty webcams feeling longer than it should, your empty apartment feeling emptier and emptier by the day. Was it even possible to miss a person you hadn’t even met yet? 
It turns out that it very much was, because as soon as the painfully long weeks were up and you were finally metres away from him, you jumped in his arms like a woman finally seeing her soldier husband after the war, standing on your tiptoes while he bent down the best he could to hug you back. His chest rumbled with a warm laugh when you turned your head ever so slightly towards his ear.
“Hello, boyfriend.” And just like that, the warm turned into a groan of faux annoyance while you burst into laughter and he pulled away, scanning your face with an equally annoyed look.
“I should’ve never asked you for that. You’re never letting it go, are you?” Yeah, you were kind of annoying with the amount of corny boyfriend jokes you threw his way - you had to give him that. But then again, he crafted his own fate and now he must accept the consequences.
“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realise your majesty wasn’t appreciating the work I’m doing! I just won’t show up at that wedding, how about that?” you bit back, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“You’re such an idiot.” he laughed. “Give me those bags.”
A blissful week had passed, and he hadn’t pissed you off in real life nearly as much as you thought he would. It took a bit of getting used to to his family calling him Clay instead of his beloved internet username, and you did get a couple of suggestive looks from his mother the first few times she visited - you had a couple of “eye conversations” in which she never exactly asked if you were his girlfriend, and you never exactly denied it, but you knew both of you felt the weight of the unspoken words yet you had to keep everything secret and ambiguous. Or at least you thought you did, before he revealed to you that he told his mom the two of you were dating already. Seems like the glances were knowing and not questioning. Maybe you weren’t as good at eye conversation as previously thought.
Living with him was fine, mostly because he had godly air conditioning and a house that was probably way too big for him, and also a very cute cat that followed you everywhere and made living with a man for a full two weeks way more bearable. Finding out that he can’t cook was one of the most bizarre revelations about him that you’d had in the years of your friendship, and you demanded he watched as you made chicken wraps. You complained about how he was 21 and couldn’t cook for himself, he complained about how it’s 2021 and he can just order from Chipotle or something, dude.
A week of goofing around and trying to hide the fact the two of you temporarily lived together from the internet had passed quicker than it should’ve, and for the first time in seven days, Netflix was turned off and the two of you were dressing up for the wedding, ready to set off with his parents and younger sister. He spent ages trying to convince you to match with him, which was quite literally impossible because he wore a black suit and you brought a red dress, which resulted in the two of you roaming around a local mall at 10 am, half asleep, looking for a reasonably formal black dress, because of course Dream always got his way.
An hour of arguing and your fashion tastes clashing later, you picked an off shoulder black dress with a high slit, along with a pair of pumps, both of which you forced him to pay for, and went back home, ready to glam both of you up as much as humanly possible because you were not ready to let him show up in some horrendous pair of shoes and claim to be your boyfriend. 
“Is this okay?” you questioned, turning from the mirror to face him and let him be the judge of your shimmery black and white eyelids, spending way too much time on a makeup look for a wedding of someone whose name you didn’t even know. He blinked at you as his judging gaze washed over you like a wave, scanning you up and down while you nervously cocked your head, leg tapping in faux impatient annoyance to cover up the fact that you felt like prey under his eyes. 
“It’s… yeah, it is. You look good.” Dream confirmed, nodding his head at you in a movement that was way too quick and snappy and you turn back to the mirror with a huff, watching him stare right back at you. 
“Too much, right? I should try something else.” You say, grabbing your makeup remover wipes, but he cuts in before you can even wipe a single smudge.
“No, no, it looks good, I promise. Really good. Don’t touch it.” Something way too sincere in his voice makes the air tense, more tense than usual, but you drop it, deciding to just take the compliment with a tight lipped smile.
“Okay. You ready?” you ask, and he nods, nervously straightening out his suit before looking back at you with an anxious grin.
“Yeah, I think so. Do I look fine?” 
He did. He looked more than fine. You’d never seen him actually dress up for something and put proper care into his looks - he was practically forced into doing it by you this time as well - so seeing him in an actual black suit, all formal and expensive looking, messy dirty blond hair properly combed for the first time in ages, made you gulp and look away. You sort of never understood the argument that women and men can’t be friends because you were never attracted to one of your male friends, ever. Dream was born to be an exception to every rule, it seemed. 
Realising that you abruptly looked away, you attempted to awkwardly clear your throat and smile at him.
“Yeah, you do. Let’s go.”
During the ride there, his mother seemed to finally explode and the words that have clearly wanted to pour out of her mouth for ages finally came out. You supposed it was better for the poor woman, and did your best to suppress a laugh when Dream dramatically sighed and leaned against the window when she nosily spoke up. 
“So… since when have you and Clay been together? He’s told us absolutely nothing!” She spoke up from the passenger seat, shifting to look at you, excited smile plastered on her face and you politely smiled back, mentally noting that you’d have to bully the shit out of him for acting like his mom is embarrassing him in front of his 8th grade crush.
“Ah, we’ve been friends for a long while, but we only started dating a month or so ago, because it’s hard doing long distance and all that.” you said, hoping it would sound believable enough because the two of you rehearsed this a few days ago, writing out a whole backstory from how you started dating to what exact words he used when he asked you out. There were a couple of arguments here and there, such as the fact you refused to say you confessed you’ve been in love with him for years and he refused to say he admitted he’s been your “bottom bitch” for 3 years but in the end, you somehow managed to agree on a cohesive timeline of events.
“Oh, does that mean you’re going to move here?” she questioned, and that one didn’t surprise you either, Dream having prepared a full list of answers to questions that people might ask in your notes app. He was a perfectionist to the point it got on your nerves, but that had its own perks.
“No, but I’ll definitely visit more often, and if it goes well, I might as well move here.” you smiled back at her and she nodded, going back to staring through the windshield. You and Dream exchange a relieved glance that you hope his younger sister doesn’t notice.
“Let me tell you, I was waiting for you two to get together! He always talked about you, I was getting tired of him, you know that?” she giggled and you widened your eyes at Dream who, snapping out of somewhat of a daze, immediately jumped to protest, light blush adorning his pale cheeks. 
“No, I didn’t! I did not, mom, don’t lie to her.” he argued while all she did was laugh.
“Oh come on, it’s not embarrassing now that you’re together!” she kept going, and his younger sister joined in, to make it even worse.
“Yeah, you do talk about her a lot, not gonna lie.” she spoke up and his cold glare directed her way told you everything you needed to know, hanging on by a thread not to burst out laughing. He refused to even look your way, turning back to the window as his cheeks started heating up. You couldn’t help but let out at least a bit of a giggle, placing your hand on his arm in fake comfort.
“It’s okay, you can admit it now.” your tone borderlined on mocking and he knew you’d make fun of him for days to come so he stayed silent while the rest of the car burst into laughter.
The wedding was truly beautifully set up, set in a hotel wedding venue, walls painted in pure innocent white with hints of gold here and there, and you nudged Dream as the two of you observed in awe, asking what sort of money the groom had to be able to afford this sort of expensive venue. Nudging him proved to be way easier now, because you linked arms - you originally made fun of him for suggesting to walk like that instead of holding hands like normal people, telling him you’d look like you were at your high school prom, but he persisted, and you didn’t end up looking as goofy as you thought. 
“He’s a doctor or something, pretty sure.” he replied, quick feet trudging down the long hallways, your own struggling to keep up with him, especially in your heels. He seemed to be in a rush to sit and get it over with as soon as possible so he could avoid any nosy family members, but bad luck followed him everywhere, it seems, because as soon as you two entered the place where the bride and groom would unite, at least three different pairs of eyes locked on you, and you immediately saw a fairly elderly woman get up with open arms, staring at Dream with a grin on her face. You saw him immediately tense up, and almost laughed right then and there.
“There’s my boy! Oh, you’ve grown so much, come here!” The woman looked to be in her fifties and Dream let go of your arm to nervously laugh and fall into her hug, the two rocking from side to side as she kept going on about how it seemed that he grew taller and taller every time she saw him. 
When the two pulled away, her eyes fixed on you, judgingly scanning from head to toe and you suddenly realised why Dream tensed up the way he did - old white women sure had a way to make you anxious. Thankfully, he stepped in. 
“Aunt Bessie, this is Y/N, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is aunt Bessie, my mom’s older sister.” he generously offered the explanation you were so obviously lacking and you grinned, as if that information helped you in any way, and stuck out your hand in an offer of a handshake. However, she seemed to have different plans, because as soon as she heard the words “my girlfriend” her face lit up as if she won the lottery and her lips stretched into a smile, opening her arms for you the same way she did for him. 
“Oh my God, you finally got a girlfriend? Come here!” she said, shaking her head at your outstretched hand and gesturing you to return the hug which you quite hesitantly did, politely laughing as she hugged you tighter than you’d deem appropriate. Dream came from a family of huggers - that much was apparent from him, you guess, but you weren’t exactly prepared for this.
Aunt Bessie seemed to be way louder and screechier than expected, because the word “girlfriend” boomed through the room and off the snowy walls, and at least five other family members of his turned around to check who the lucky fellow that finally got a girlfriend was. Another one of his aunts seemed to notice the commotion and suddenly, another older woman with shoulder length, dyed blonde hair, along with her two younger kids, was hurling at you as well. 
“I always complained to him that it was about time he got a girlfriend! He’s a fine young man, no wonder you picked him, honey.” Aunt Bessie shot you a knowing look and you closed your mouth in a tight lipped smile in a feverish attempt to keep down the laugh that threatened to escape you. 
“Oh yeah, he definitely is.” you giggled, looking up at Dream again who looked like he wanted the earth below his feet to open and swallow him whole. Before you could nudge him in the ribs and tease him for hours to come, the other aunt suddenly spoke up.
“Clay! Oh my gosh, is that you?” she exclaimed, shocked grin on her face, and you briefly wondered if Dream ever even visited his family. He nervously smiled, obviously not really sure who this woman even is, but he hugged her back anyway, clearly walking the line between ‘happy to see his family’ and ‘insanely uncomfortable’.
“I haven’t seen you in so long, your dad hasn’t visited since we moved to Toronto! Look at how tall you are, you’re taller than my husband now! You used to be so tiny, whatever happened to you?” Upon hearing the word Toronto he seemed to realise who he was talking to as his eyes softened, and you wondered if he really was so expressive or you could just read him that well.
“I grew up, I guess.” He awkwardly laughed and she laughed harder than she should’ve before turning to you.
“Oh, and who is this?” She said, gaze periodically switching between him and you, a knowing smile on her face which told you she definitely knew who you were.
“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is… my dad’s cousin, Mabel.” He introduced, large hand landing on your back, and you felt like you were experiencing déjà vu at the way her face lit up at the mention of a girlfriend. 
“Wow, it’s so nice to meet you, Y/N!” She said, energetically shaking your hand, before turning back to Dream. “You never told us you got a girlfriend! You’re finally planning on settling down, huh?” 
Your head snapped in his direction at the speed of light when she mentioned settling down, and you could see him tense up as well as he nervously laughed.
“Yeah, we haven’t visited in a while, so nobody from the family really knew. And, uh… we haven’t really thought of that yet, we’re taking it slow and everything.” He said and you were almost in awe at how good he was at bullshitting. The woman did nothing but laugh.
“Ah, don’t lie to me, I see the way you two look at each other! It’s your wedding we’ll be attending next!” She winked, and just as Dream got ready to fake laugh once again, her family called her over and she excused herself, walking off.
The two of you hurried to your seats as well, sitting down next to his younger sister. 
“Your family is insane, man, holy shit.” You laughed in disbelief, staring at him as he shook his head, clearly as distressed as you were.
“Literally nobody in this family gives a single fuck if I’m single or not except the old aunties. And I seem to have a shit ton of those.” He muttered under his breath. “The way you look at each other - I literally didn’t even look at you properly that whole time!” 
You cackled at that one, hitting his arm. “She’s right, Clay. You’re one fine young man, eh?” You nudged him as he groaned in embarrassment, only turning your way to glare at you. 
You didn’t get to tease him for much longer, though, because the organ started playing and the bridesmaids and groomsmen lined up, the groom standing at his designated place. The bride walked in, arms locked with her father, thin white veil covering her face as she walked down the aisle, looking angelic in her puffy wedding gown. Silky brown hair fell down her shoulders, curled towards the ends, and you could see the hint of blood red lipstick beneath the veil. She looked beautiful - the groom seemed to think so as well, because you could see him tapping the corner of his eye lightly, wiping any stray tears.
She finally made it to the end and stepped to face her soon-to-be husband as her father moved away, sitting back in his chair. The wedding officiant stepped up, and held a speech much longer than it should be, which just led you to zone out. 
One day you’d be beneath that veil, wouldn’t you? One day, you’ll face your fiancé the same way she is, and you’ll let your hearts link with a string that nobody but the two of you could snap. Who would that be, though? Who could you even trust with your heart in their hands? And you’re not aware of how and why and when, but your eyes shot up at Dream, whose eyes also glinted in that way where you knew he wasn’t paying attention, and maybe he was thinking about the same thing as you. Maybe one day, you’ll be attending his wedding, forcing one of your friends to play a fake boyfriend as he wipes his tears, waiting for his bride to get to him. 
It was disheartening, the thought of being a bystander while he locks lips with somebody else. You supposed you just liked being the center of attention, so you let yourself pretend you were his bride in your daydreams. Separating daydreams from rational thoughts was mandatory, because you weren’t sure how you’d explain to yourself that you can’t stand seeing Dream marry someone else. 
Dream, the infamous hopeless romantic, still seemed out of it, maybe even a little emotional, despite not being that close with either of the two. He was probably thinking about his own wedding as well, thinking about his future, the face he’d see when he pulled back the veil.
Just then, his eyes darted to yours, and you realised you were caught staring, snapping your head back to the couple that started reading their vows by now. You started going red from the neck up, cheeks on fire as you could feel his gaze burning into you. He turned back after a few seconds, though, probably assuming you stared at him because you were bored, and neither of you spoke, even though you kind of wish you did. What even is there to say, though? 
By the time you snapped back, the “I do”s were already being said, and her veil was getting lifted, showing her beauty to everyone present, and as they kissed the whole room bursted into cheers and applause in support of the newlyweds. The two exit, teary eyed, their parents follow close behind, and that’s when Dream’s family rushes both of you to your feet, following the two into the reception hall where the actual party would take place. 
From then on, the wedding is the same as any other. The two have their first dance, they give a welcoming speech, and Dream lets you stuff your face with cake and repeatedly refills your wine glass as repayment for dragging you into this whole thing. At some point, he stretches his hand out to you and asks for a dance like a rom-com main character, and you’re not sure exactly why he did that because he’s mostly terrible at dancing, but you had fun letting him twirl you until you got dizzy anyway.
You also realised just how much he did actually need a fake girlfriend, because it seemed like every twenty minutes some sort of relative of his would walk up to the two of you and congratulate him on “finally getting a girlfriend”. You ended up bullying him for that as well, wondering just how long he’s been single for if they’re all this surprised that he’s got a girlfriend, to which he just downed the glass of water he’d been sipping for half an hour and asked you about the weather.
His family took a few pictures with the new couple - you even got to speak to the bride at some point, congratulating her and wishing the two of them well, but in the span of a few hours, the wedding was over and the newlyweds made a great exit, signifying the end of the party. The two of you were driven home by his parents, and you waved them goodbye as you stumbled to the front door, your heels insanely uncomfortable and the red wine in your stomach weighing down on you; you just wanted to get out of this dress and into a pair of pajamas and pass out on his couch in the living room. 
That’s sort of exactly what you did - you half-assed taking your makeup off, wiping down your face a couple of times, deciding that was enough before changing into some worn pajamas and plopping down on the couch next to Dream who already claimed his place and sunk into the cushion while a random movie played on the TV. The two of you basked in the comfortable silence that surrounded you, the exhausted, tired type. You both appreciated the quiet and fell asleep sitting next to each other, wedding already forgotten.
That night, he went from Dream to Clay.
The departure was bittersweet. You left two days after that, your hug at the airport tight, warm, filled with a sugary sweet feeling you couldn’t quite place and sour acid that ate away at you because you didn’t want to leave in the slightest. His arms were warm, inviting, whispering for you to stay but you left anyway, waving him goodbye, setting off to home. 
It seemed like all your problems came and went with him, because a week later, at 3 in the morning while you were up editing a video, you got an all caps message on your Discord from Sapnap.
You blinked at your computer screen, white letters blinding you in the dark, brain trying to keep up with why he even thought that. Within 10 seconds, another message, this time from Dream.
“so i told george and sapnap that we’re dating”
“don’t kill me pls” 
Yeah, you weren’t going to kill him, per se, but he definitely made your life a lot harder than it should be. You opened Discord, Premiere Pro and the unedited video abandoned, typing back to Clay quickly.
He responded immediately, as one panicked man does.
“they’ve been making fun of me for being single for ages now :(“
“we already did this fake dating thing before and it went perfectly fine”
“just play along for a month or so”
You audibly sighed. And as if he could hear you, he started typing again.
“i’ll promote you on my channel more”
“just pls do it”
“you love me, right” 
Another sigh fell from your lips before you could stop it. Of course you did, because if you didn’t, there’s no way you would be playing into this. You typed back.
He messaged back immediately.
“LOVE YOU <333”
With a shake of your head, you mumbled “idiot” with the ghost of a smile flashing on your face, switching back to your video, opting to ignore Sapnap for a little bit. He could wait. 
Fake dating seemed pretty damn easy during the first week - you thought you were killing it by sending corny tweets and staged selfies so he could screenshot them and send them to the groupchat, giggling on call about how oblivious they are and how you’re fooling them so good, both of you opting to ignore the parts where they claimed they knew the two of you were gonna get together eventually. It was fun, lighthearted, and an excuse to flirt with someone you had nothing official with.
As much as all your problems came and went with Clay, though, they came and went with his friends as well, especially that hopeless man Clay called his best friend. 
Because yeah, of course Sapnap was the one to accidentally spill to the public that the two of you were “dating”.
George was streaming at what was apparently a normal time in the UK, not so much for Florida, and Clay was sleeping while you were watching his stream while making some food for yourself. It was going fine, a bit of a chill stream, and you leaned against the fridge as your oven preheated, tired eyes following his Minecraft skin. 
“Sophie, thank you for the dono! ‘Hey George, I love your videos, just wanted to ask if you were speedrunning with Dream today?’” he read out, and you could faintly hear Sapnap join the stream through your headphones. 
“No I’m not, Dream’s… I don’t know what Dream’s doing right now, actually. He’s not responding to me, though. Probably talking to his girlfriend still.” he continued, exaggerating the last part mockingly, still playing into the whiny role of being upset that Clay was ditching the two of them for you. That majorly woke you up, though, as you stood straight on your feet immediately, because oh no, nobody was supposed to know.
You exited out of the Twitch app quickly, letting the stream play in the background as you tried to fish for Sapnap’s profile on Discord and text him as quick as possible, trying to warn him to not let anybody know, but before you could do it, you heard his laughter clear in the stream.
“Yeah, Y/N, his sweetie poo.” Sapnap said, causing George to laugh even louder, before moving onto the next topic, and your heartbeat picked up an insane amount, nails loud and probably damaging your phone screen as you typed as quickly as humanly possible to yell at him because this was not planned, at all.
You heard him go quiet after you shot him a couple of messages over Discord (“SAPNAP” “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID” “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU” “NOBODY KNOWS YET” “IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU”), type something to George who then fell quiet as well for a few seconds, pure horror on his face, and then went back to streaming as if nothing happened while Sapnap profusely apologised to you on his and George’s behalf.
No apology could fix what had already been done, though, and you were left alone with the warzone that was Twitter who had already speculated the two of you were dating long before while Clay peacefully slept somewhere in his house at 4 am in Florida. You bombarded him with messages and waited until he woke up ‘cause what were you even supposed to do?! 
You chose to spend your time finishing the pizza you were originally supposed to make and almost burnt your whole apartment down because you forgot the oven was on for a whole hour while yelling at Clay’s idiotic best friends. You yelled at Sapnap, who kept apologising to you, you yelled at George, who yelled back that it’s not that big of a deal because people were bound to find out anyways, and you yelled at Clay, because he was the guilty one somehow for not being awake during your breakdown. 
He did eventually wake up though, to the shitshow that were his notifications with at least thirty messages from each of you, messages from his other YouTube friends who were fairly surprised, and his entire fanbase going ham on Twitter. He was surprisingly calm about it - calmer than you were, anyways, and sheepishly said over the phone that the fake dating thing may have to go on for a little longer since you couldn’t just date for a month and then break up, and you were sort of okay with that.
And of course, the business side of him awoke at that moment, and he giddily told you about the amount of views the two of you could pull if you did the same shit you do with George and Sapnap anyway, but on livestream. 
You rolled your eyes.
And then agreed anyway. 
And so, the charade began.
His Twitter statement was up shortly, telling the people that you’d been dating for a couple of weeks and weren’t planning to tell anybody yet until a certain someone spilled their guts live, and the fact Dream was dating someone, let alone another popular streamer, took the internet by storm. You expected hate, and you got quite a bit of that, but the people that had shipped the two of you before were certainly more than delighted and a lot of Clay’s fans were supportive. 
Now, both of you had excuses to do chill streams together and just hang out and you took the opportunity and ran with it. 
You’d sit and play Geoguessr or just try and speedrun Minecraft a bunch of times for hours on end, doing stupid bits and things you’d be doing offline anyways, with a little more flirting than usual, because that’s what made it interesting.
“Oh this is France, for sure.” you claimed one night, two or three weeks after the secret was officially out, chewing on the fries you bought for this specific occasion, streaming on his alt to a few thousand people. 
“You think so? It could be Belgium, too.” he responded, humming in thought as he looked around.
“I know so.” you responded.
“I just do. Gamer intuition, babe.” you said, and he wheezed at your response, repeating the words gamer intuition under his breath.
“No, seriously. It is France, I know it is, I’ve seen so many pictures of that place I know it like the back of my hand now. That’s Lyon, or something.” you continued, plopping another french fry into your mouth.
“You have? Why do you know so much about France, that’s so random.” he responded, opening the map and pointing to France, although he keeps looking around, unsure of his decision.
“I dunno, I like it there. I wish I could move there.” you replied.
“Why, though?” 
“It’s pretty and heavily romanticised! Just like me!” you joked and he laughed, before letting you continue. “I dunno, it’s the city of love. Be a little romantic.” 
“The… the city of love is whatever city the two of us are in.” he said, and it took a few seconds for you to process the joke before letting out a fake disappointed sigh.
“I can’t believe I’m dating someone as corny as you.” 
At that, he bursts into wheezes, and you follow along, enjoying the sound of his laughter coursing through your headphones more than you used to a few weeks back. It feels nice, feels right, acting like this. You like calling him your boyfriend more than you think you should. 
A few weeks go by, and it feels all too natural. It feels too natural, talking to him first thing in the morning when you’ve barely even had your coffee, calling him pet names, throwing sweet words at each other publicly like they mean nothing. It feels all too natural, and nice, and all too right, and you don’t even notice when the two of you cross the line between public and private, and you’re stuck making stupid jokes about making out when you first see each other when there’s nobody to witness them except the walls of your rooms, but you don’t like thinking about that, because you know it’ll bring nothing but confusion. The current this that the two of you have is perfect to you, perfectly lighthearted and funny and fun, and you intend on keeping it that way, refusing to think about it in any way past jokes.
That is, until you can’t anymore.
It’s late, again, and you’re staring at his contact name on your phone screen, lazily lying on the bed. It reminds you of a night from roughly 3 months ago, when your whole friendship seemed to change in the few seconds it took you to process what he’d asked of you, and it feels weird, but nice.
“My mom really likes you, you know?” Clay breaks the quiet that you’ve learned to appreciate in his presence, and you exhale through your nose, the noise just short of a chuckle.
“Yeah?” You laugh, and he does as well.
“Yeah.” He reaffirms. “She thinks you’re a great girlfriend. Apparently I seem brighter ever since we got together.”
You laugh again. “I am a great girlfriend, to be fair. She’s totally right.” 
“Well, I wouldn’t know that. If you’re as good of a girlfriend as you pretend to be, though, then you’re amazing.” He says, and words fly out of your mouth before you can stop them. 
“Yeah? You wanna find out?” The flirty nature is nothing strange to the two of you, but this time it feels kinda different, it feels like you’re stepping into dangerous territory that there’s no coming back from. You feel like you’ve ruined everything, for some reason.
He laughs, like normal, though. He laughs like nothing happened at all, and you’re so, so grateful for that.
“Sure, let’s do it. You’re about to unpack the full Clay boyfriend experience.” He snickers and you laugh as well. 
“That means I just unlock the dick as well as the personality.” you respond, quick as always, and the wheeze that escapes him is so loud that it makes you laugh too.
“...Unlock the dick…” he repeats through another wheeze and you nod, laughing.
“Yeah! I mean I’m literally experiencing the boyfriend experience without actually having a boyfriend, it’s fuckin’ great.” you say and he hums.
“You could have one, though.” 
The implications are crazy, his words are crazy, he’s crazy and everything that he could mean and couldn’t mean by that is driving you crazy too, brain faltering and heart seeming way too big for your chest to contain it. It’s silent.
“I could, I guess.” 
You choose to say, and he switches the topic naturally, like he never said anything.
Things are never the same again.
It’s not in a bad way. Sure, it is kind of a bad way for the feelings you’re trying to push down inside you, a bad way for hot nights when the unbearable heat forces you to stay up even when you don’t want to and you have no choice but to think about why you feel the way you feel as you melt into the burning sheets below you, a bad way for when he jokes about finding somebody else and you feel your stomach churning. A bad way for realising that this fake dating thing is really getting to you, but not a bad way in general.
Maybe it’s in a good way. Maybe the underlying implications whenever he makes jokes about making the relationship real are good, maybe the way he calls you in the middle of the night when he’s anxious and freaking out and defends himself by saying: “You’re my girlfriend, you’re always there for me, I just figured I could call you.” and you end up wondering if it’s possible to say jokes in such a vulnerable state or if he’s serious is good, maybe the way it’s been a few months and he won’t tell his own best friends that it was a joke the whole time is good, maybe the way you confronted him about it and he said he likes having you as his girlfriend is good. 
Maybe the way the two of you are always walking the line between joking and being serious, between being friends and something more, between lies and pranks and emotional investment and fear of committing, and the way you’re always trying to push the other off, is good. 
The fans love it. The fanart is incredible (serves especially well for those hot nights when you can’t fall asleep and you scroll, watching yourself fall in love with Clay in every universe, tales told by people who observe your story and find it worthy enough to retell in their own words, to take the love you pretend to have and turn it into something real), people love to gush over the compliments he sprinkles in at random times during conversation and the general flirty dynamic is loved by many, pulling in more views and attraction for you. 
And you suppose that’s good too, but at some point, the good warps into bad, bad warps into terrible, and you wonder if this is all even worth the sleepless nights, wondering if he feels the same way.
Those thoughts haunt you more and more often every day. When you wake up, and text him first thing in the morning, your brain acknowledges that the camera is off - nobody’s around, people aren’t listening, so why are you still playing the role of a girlfriend and starting up a conversation with him when you haven’t even brushed your teeth properly? When you’re editing in the middle of the day and he calls to keep you company, making more stupid boyfriend jokes, your stomach flips in a weird way that makes you hate him, hate the way he can joke about these things so freely, like it doesn’t hurt him. Like it doesn’t affect him like it affects you. 
But, as much as you wish you could hate him, you couldn’t bring yourself to, and that was the worst part. Because, in reality, whenever he laughed you’d smile without realising you did, whenever anything exciting happened to you he was the first one you went to, whenever you wanted to laugh or cry or sit in silence for hours or complain you always went to him, the one person who you know would listen. In reality, whenever he made a joke about giving up on the fake dating and making it real, you wished so bad that he was serious this time, that this was what it took and he’d crack and all of your suffering would end.
It eventually happens.
It’s a pretty chilly morning, birds chirp outside and the sun that slowly rises is covering the kitchen floor in a golden hue as you pour milk into your cereal with one hand and hold your phone in the other, letting Clay ramble about whatever it was this time, when he brought it up.
“So, when do you wanna come down to Florida again?” he asks casually, and you almost drop the gallon of milk in your hand. 
“I said, when are you coming down to Florida again? Last time you came was pretty fun.” he says, and an empty silence follows. There’s an unsaid “I miss you” that you don’t hear, and he’s too afraid of saying it. 
“Florida wasn’t exactly on my schedule this month, man.” you say, placing your phone on the counter for a second. Clay sure knew how to surprise a person.
“Well put it down, then.” he jokes, and you hum.
“What, you got another wedding coming up?” you giggle and he groans - you never really stopped making fun of him for that wedding.
“No, I don’t. Can’t a man just miss seeing his beloved girlfriend?” It’s unbelievable how quickly dread can wash over you as soon as he makes one of those jokes. You were convinced the mix of anxiety and butterflies that appears in your stomach was gonna kill you sometime soon.
“He can, he’s just being weirdly insistent.” you argue nonetheless. “But sure, I’ll consider it.”
You do more than consider it - in a few weeks, you’re back at the airport, and falling into his arms has never given you such an adrenaline rush in your whole life. Something about having him wrapped around you, close to you, the warmth of his body radiating into yours sent you spiraling, head clouded with nothing but love and the fact that you wish you could stay there forever. You wished you could press pause and cherish the moment, let yourself bask in that feeling of pure love, pure adoration that you helplessly drowned in. But you couldn’t, and you left his arms feeling oddly empty. 
Hiding the fact that you were unapologetically head over heels for him proved to be a hundred times more difficult when you were right there, next to him, talking to him, when you could just kiss him any second, feel his lips on yours and nobody would stop you - the opportunity was right there, looming over you, the devil on your shoulder taunting you, telling you to do it. 
You got to wake up in the same house as him, watch his hair stick out in different directions and his raspy morning voice as he complained about the smell of your coffee, watch his eyes glint whenever he talked about something he liked and observe as he carried around Patches like a little baby. You got to experience every bit of domestic without the consequences of committing, and you wondered just how far this would go. For how much longer would the two of you blatantly ignore the fact that you were a couple that slapped the title “fake” on it because you were cowards who refused to admit what this truly was. 
Not for long, apparently, because you grew tired, and decided to put an end to everything on one random Thursday night - and if he hated you forever for it, then so be it. 
You were sitting on his couch, watching a random movie together, drowning in one of his Dream hoodies while you chewed the popcorn he made. It was dark outside, just past midnight, and you could see the branches of a tree swaying calmly through one of the nearby windows - the silence while he scrolled through his phone lazily was comforting too, everything was lazy and serene and it would’ve been perfect if it wasn’t for the constant anxiety that gripped you by the throat whenever you were in his close proximity, the nervousness that killed you, the upset feeling of wanting to cuddle up with him but knowing you can’t because you guys are just friends, and nothing more.
The couple on the screen kiss while a violin plays in the background - how fitting. Maybe that’s what pushes you to the edge, or maybe you were just that sick and tired.
You were exhausted, beyond exhausted. Your eyes were tired, the anxiety was morphing into annoyance and anger and you were ready to give up on it all. If this ended the friendship, at least you two had a good run. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore.
“You know, you still owe me a favor in return for pretending to be your girlfriend.” you say, and you sound gone, zoned out, more than you wish you were. You hear his phone turn off with a click.
“Yeah? What do you want?” Clay asks, and you blankly stare at the TV for a few seconds before turning to face him, eyes burning. 
“Kiss me.” 
It’s silent. The characters on screen are arguing. You hear the wind through one of his open windows.
“What?” he asks, voice cracking, and his expression falls. You’ve fucked it. Oh well.
“I want you to kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me like someone’s watching and you wanna make it believable.” you say, eyes boring into his, your words having nowhere near as much of an effect on yourself as they do on him. Your eyes sting like they’re being lit on fire, and your throat is sort of closing up, but it’s fine. “Let me have this before I go, because once I leave, I don’t wanna do this anymore, Clay. I can’t pretend like I don’t want you to introduce me as your girlfriend and fully mean it. I can’t lie to your face anymore.” 
Silence. Deafening silence, once again.
“I love you.” he blurts out, and you don’t even register it at first. “I don’t want this shit to be fake either. God, I really don’t. It hasn’t been fake for a while now, at least not on my part. I’m sorry, it’s just- it was easier to keep this bit going than it was to actually admit that I’m… into you.”
And once again, the room falls into silence, much like it always does whenever the two of you share moments like these.
And then, you burst into laughter.
“So… so you mean to tell me, that both of us have liked each other this whooooole fucking time, and just refused to admit it and ‘pretended to date’ instead?” you burst into giggles, and he looks sort of hesitant to laugh, but he does anyway.
“I mean… yeah? I was waiting for you to call me out for doing all that when nobody was watching! Why did you never call me out?! Don’t blame me, I made it so damn obvious that I wanted you!” he protests, and you almost can’t believe what you’re hearing.
“Excuse me? You should’ve just fucking told me instead of making a million and one jokes about how I’m your girlfriend! We’re not in middle school, Clay!” you argue.
“Yeah, but I thought you’d catch on and talk to me about it at some point! You never called me out for anything!”
“So what, I’m supposed to just read your mind now? You’re fucking unbelievable.” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away in annoyance. As soon as a warm hand lands on your shoulder, though, the annoyance melts like wax under fire, leaving nothing behind.
“I still haven’t returned that favor, you know?” he whispers in your ear, breath fanning your neck, closer than he should be. The hairs on your neck stand up as you turn back to Clay, who wore a mischievous grin and a glint in his eyes that suggested no good. 
You suppose bad can be good, sometimes. 
As his lips press onto yours, that theory is proven true, because he sends a flicker of fire burning down your spine, spreading into your limbs, making your fingertips electric as you pulled him in closer, hand snaking up to grip at his hair - the everlasting grin against your own proves, once again, to be no good as his hands slip under your hoodie and grip your sides, but you think you enjoy this sort of bad. 
They sneak up further, and you hear him chuckle into the kiss as your insides melt at his touch. The two of you silently agree that maybe he should ask for favors more often.
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gunpowder-and-smoke · 6 months ago
𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 — 𝐚.𝐬
Pairing: Alfie Solomons x fem!reader
Warnings: Fluff, jealous!Alfie, insecurity, mentions of scars
Summary: Alfie feels insecure about the scar on his face especially after seeing you talk to a handsome young man, but you're there to reassure him.
A/N: I have nothing to say for myself. This was supposed to be just a short fic and it turned out to be longer than I expected (like most of my works), but I couldn't help myself! I love Alfie's whole persona and I don't know why didn't write for him sooner. Enjoy this writing and stay safe, lovelies! 💕
Word count: 1.869 words
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“Pet, come ‘ere.” His gruff demand rings through the living room, where the two of you have been sitting in comfortable silence for the past few hours, relishing in the peaceful presence of having each other near. While you have flung yourself across the cozy sofa, naked feet dangling off the edge and your nose buried deep in the pages of a romantic novel, Alfie has been staring out of the window, wordlessly observing the untamed waves crashing against the cliffs, and ships unsteadily drifting over the rough sea that licks at the white beaches of Margate. Sunlight gleams in the reflection of the dark waters surrounding your home and it almost seems as if a thousand stars were trapped in the depths of the ocean.
“Please, Y/N,” Alfie adds after a few idle minutes, noticing how you still haven’t moved from your place on the other side of the room, sprawled across velvety cushions that faintly smell like soap and home. It’s a sight to see and he can’t help but let his eyes wander over your body, lingering on the curve of your bare thighs exposed by the thin material of your dress that must’ve slipped when you threw yourself into the pillows. Not that he is complaining. If it weren't for the maids hastily scrambling through the darkened hallways to keep everything nice and clean or the doctor occasionally barging in to check on his wounds, he'd have you walk around without any layer of clothing hiding the beauty of your naked form.
You look up with a smile, dreamy and so fucking adorable that he almost forgets how to breathe properly as he watches how you stretch your legs with a stifled yawn, before getting up with a soft sigh to amble across the room until you’re standing right in front of him. “Yes, Alfie?”
Your slender fingers fiddle with the necklace dangling from your delicate neck, the golden ring you’ve stolen from him and now wear as a pendant catches the beams of light creeping through the open window. The sight of it chips at his heart, almost bittersweetly in the face of what he’s been thinking about for quite some time now, whispers that kept him awake at night while you slept soundly in his arm, unaware of the fight tormenting his mind whenever the sun had disappeared behind the endless horizon.
He simply pats his thigh and runs his fingers through the wiry strands of his beard, thoughtfully scratching his chin before placing his hands on your hips and gently pulling you into his lap. A soft giggle bubbles in your throat as you straddle his muscular thighs and your hands come up to rest on his chest, right above his pounding heart.
There’s a gleeful spark in your bright eyes when you look at him, warm and happy and his blood shoots straight to his cheeks and tints the tips of his ears in a rosy pink. It still surprises him, the effect you have on him, even after all those years of cherishing you like you are holy, more sacred to him than the Tanakh that is resting on the small wooden table next to him.
“You’ve been taking care of me, yeah, for a while now, haven’t you?” Alfie leans back with a sigh and lets his gaze wander over your features, the way your body seems to be so much smaller compared to him, cuddled up in his lap and smiling up at him with such ease as if there’s nothing else in the world but the two of you at this moment. Your fingertips graze the exposed skin of his neck when you adjust the collar of his shirt, growing nervous with each passing second of silence, evidently not quite sure what he wants to tell you. Though, he can’t blame you for that. "Right, you've been taking good care of me, pet."
“Of course, Alfie.” Suspiciously, you tilt your head and squint your eyes, desperately trying to find some kind of treacherous sign in the blue of his iris. “What’s wrong? I know that look, love, I can see that something is on your mind."
Although you’ve been living with him for years, he is still hard to read. Always was. Something about him is always hidden beneath the surface, his actions are unpredictable — that’s what made him dangerous for his enemies and even more intriguing to you. Trying to figure him out, that was appealing, but every time you thought you had him, right there in the palm of your hands, he showed you that once again you only managed to peel away another layer protecting the depth of his core.
Perhaps you’ll never fully understand him, though that didn’t stop you from falling for him. And you love him, dearly, but sometimes it would be really nice to know what exactly is going on in his head. Right now, you had no fucking clue what to expect, the feeling in your stomach, however, told you that it won't be good.
"That lad, yeah, the one who visited last week sure was handsome, don't you think?" He turns to face the window, binoculars resting within reach right on the table next to the holy book, ready to be taken to watch another ship cross the ocean. For a fleeting moment, you just stare at him in confusion, unsure of what to reply to that sudden statement. Admittedly, the memory doesn’t come to your mind immediately, but after one or two seconds, you remember.
A young man who knocked at your door a few days ago, just bringing a basket of fresh bread from his bakery — you had strolled into his shop the other day and asked if you could order some of their treats and have them delivered to your house. So, the baker’s son had come by and started a friendly conversation with you on the doorstep, simply asked about your day and told you to enjoy the baked goods and the bread he additionally put into the basket. Nothing more. "Heard the two of you talkin' and laughin’, you know."
“He was nice, yes. What are you trying to say?” You raise an eyebrow and watch him, notice how he purses his lips and clicks his tongue, incoherently mumbling a few words here and there. The golden rings decorating his calloused fingers glisten in the warm sunlight while he moves to caress your waist. Rough palms trace the curve of your body, brush over your ribs and the swell of your breasts with surprising delicacy.
"Look, Y/N. I'm not the most handsome man, never was and never will with that thing on my face now, right, and you... yeah, you're a beautiful young woman. Shouldn't waste your fucking time looking after me." The bitterness in his gravelly voice makes you frown and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you how he avoids looking at you and only turns his face to the window as if he’s trying to hide something more than just the scar carved deep into his cheek, where the bullet entered his flesh and split his skin. “A girl as beautiful as you shouldn’t be with someone like me.”
Oh, how stupid he is. It’s almost fascinating to watch one of the most intelligent men you know be so blind in the countenance of your love for him, this burly gangster with danger and deceit etched into the fine lines around his sharp eyes that usually seem to notice every little detail. The warmth of his hand leaves your body, now moving to fidget with the hem of his white shirt in a strangely anxious manner. It almost breaks your heart to see him like this, so uneasy and helpless.
“Oh, Alfie,” you whisper and gently cup his cheek, thumb caressing his skin with a reassuring smile pulling on the corners of your mouth. He flinches away, grumbles lowly, and presses further into his armchair, trying to escape to the comfort of your hands with a quiet curse. Sighing heavily, you run your hand over his chest. “Please, look at me.” Your request is so soft, so fucking soft and gentle that Alfie just can’t deny you, even if he tried his hardest. reluctantly, he turns his head and meets your eyes, giving you a full view of his deformed scar, much to his disdain.
“You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever laid my eyes upon and god help me if I’d ever even think about leaving you.” You place a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose, fingers tenderly tracing over his cheek, the one that has been left unharmed. “I’m staying with you, my love. For better or for worse.”
The words tumbling from your tongue make him hold his breath while he stares at you with an unreadable expression, not quite certain what he should think or say in reply to your confession. His hands drop to your leg, gently push the fabric of your dress over your thigh to feel your naked skin. “It’s jus’ that this scar is fuckin’ ugly, innit? I look horrendous, right, I know that, so you don’t ‘ave to go all soft on me.”
“Alfie.” You sternly call his name, interrupting him before he can say more about the mark that bothers him so much, that makes him so surprisingly insecure of himself.
It’s strange, so unsuitable for this charismatic man, because when you met him for the first time, when you came face to face with him on a gloomy afternoon in an alley in Camden Town, you only saw this gangster, dangerous, unpredictable, deathly in every way until you came to know his soft side — and now, after all this time, he sheds another skin and exposes something far more vulnerable. Something more treasurable he shows in the comfort of trust he puts into your hands, although you’d rather have him not talk about how you should leave him for that friendly baker you barely know. “You’re the only one I want to be with. Honestly, if I would’ve grown tired of taking care of you, living with you, loving you, I would have packed my things already and left. But I’m still here, you see?”
That seems to convince him once and for all. Alfie hums lowly in the back of his throat, fingertips wandering between your soft thighs and trailing dangerously closer to your core burning with lust at the hungry look flaming in his darkened eyes. Your cheeks heat under his intense stare, but you keep talking anyway, although you stumble over your own words just as you feel him brush his knuckles against your cotton panties. He needs to hear it, nevertheless.
“This scar is only a mark death has left behind before he sent you back to me, love. And I couldn’t be happier to be here with you, because I love you.” And with that, you tilt his head and trail a line of loving kisses along to scar to the corners of his mouth, before he gently tugs on your necklace and pulls you into a languid kiss.
Peaky Blinders: @bunniwritesx​ @sirius-bucky​
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teyvattales · 6 months ago
helloooo can i request a fluff lof y/n taking care of their injuries after some long fight? with childe, xiao and diluc 😊 thank youuu
Oh my goodness, yes of course! <3
And if I may be bold to say, you're my first ever ask! Thank you so much for enjoying my work. I hope you enjoy these stories I wrote especially for you! 😊😊
GENSHIN IMPACT Character x gn reader fluff stories~♡♡
Scenario: Cleaning up their wounds
Characters: Childe/Tartaglia, Xiao, Diluc(seperate)
Pairings: Childe/Tartaglia x gn reader, Xiao x gn reader, Diluc x gn reader
Warnings: Mentions of blood and injuries, minor swearing
SFW----> Lots of fluff down below. Click at your own risk. ;)
● He's a skilled fighter, he wouldn't be a Harbinger if he wasn't, so very rarely would he come to you with a wound. When he does he's always embarrassed, but he'll come to you because you never pass judgment, instead your eyes are filled with worry and love.
● He loves how gentle you are when you tend to him. The way he looks at you when you clean him up and the way you smile at him, telling him how glad you are it wasn't anything serious. He knows how much you love him and it makes him fall even harder for you. Every. Single. Time.
A loud, rapid knock to your door startled you awake. Groggily you stumbled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes wondering who it could be at this time of night. As you reach the door, you peer through the peep hole. Surprised, you open the door.
A Fatui agent stood there, bowing to you. Immediately you knew what was wrong before the man could have a chance to speak, "Where is he? How bad is it?" You asked, rushed, already putting your coat on over your sleeping garments.
"He's at the Northlander Bank. He would have come here himself, but this time it's. . .bad. He's lost a bit of blood," The agent spoke grimly. You felt the lump in your throat rise and you tried to swallow.
"Thank you. ." You manage to say to the man before rushing past him, grabbing the medical supplies in the process. You didn't stop running through the brightly lit streets of Liyue until you arrived at the bank.
Panting and gasping for air you pushed past the two Fatui agents who were guarding the doors. They already knew who you were so they didn't even try to stop you, otherwise you would have had their tounge.
You quickly made your way to his room where a few more agents were attending to him as he lay on his bed, clutching his side with blood soaked rags. Your nose was immediately met with the smell of iron, "Childe! Oh my Archons, what the hell happened?!" You rush to his side, pulling out your medical supplies.
You shooed the remaining agents out of the room so you could focus. "I had a run in with a peculiar traveler named Aether. He put up quite a fight. ." His breathing was heavy and staggered, fading in and out of consciousness.
"I need you to keep talking to me, my love," you say to him gently, trying to stay calm, "I'm going to cut off your shirt so I can better assess your wound, okay?" You swiftly take out your surgical scissors and cut away the crimson soaked fabric clinging to his upper torso.
You gasp, the wound was a large slash across the side of his abdomen. You stifle back tears before meekly saying, "You're going to be okay. I promise. You'll need several stitches, but I'm determined to keep you alive."
He lets out a small laugh before wincing in pain, "I'm lucky to have someone as kind and caring as you, Y/N" Childe weakly reaches over to push a strand of hair behind your ear.
You lean into his hand for a brief moment before replying, "Take this for the pain, and this to help stop the bleeding. Afterwards I'm going to need to disinfect the wound," You hand him two pills and he swallows them quickly, "It's going to hurt, love, so bare with me. ."
You open up a bottle of alcohol and offer your hand to him, "Squeeze my hand," You say to him as you start pouring the alcohol over his wound. He grits his teeth and lets out a pained groan as he squeezes your hand tightly. You work quickly from there, stitching his wound perfectly.
Once you're finished you clean up all the rags and place a clean damp one over his forehead. He's now asleep, getting the much deserved rest he needed. You place a gentle kiss upon his cheek, not leaving his side.
He'll live to see another day, thank the Archons.
Childe/Tartaglia x gn reader END
● He also isn't one to get injured so quickly, though when he does you're always quickly by his side no matter how big or small. Even though he's not much for human interaction, he quite enjoys the attention he gets from you.
● He'll always thank you in his own way with odd gifts he made himself. You find it charming. By now you have quite the collection and they're all your most prized possessions.
Today you wanted to travel to Mondstat as you heard there was a festival going on and Xiao offered to accompany you, but only for protection he insisted. He thought human customs were a waste and didn't want to be bothered with them.
The journey to Mondstat would take half a day, and sometimes the roads could be treacherous, so you made sure to pack all of the necessities.
Snacks for the road? Check. Extra water? Check. A med kit? Of course. You triple checked everything and you were about to check it a fourth time when Xiao stopped you and said, "Y/N, you have everything we need. Trust me," He placed a firm, but gentle hand on your shoulder, "Now let's get going before it gets too late. The roads will get dangerous is we wait any longer."
You let out a small sigh and nod, "You're right. Sorry, you know I always gotta make sure everything's in order." You could have sworn you heard him huff and that made you smile. Xiao always had a cold exterior, but you knew a different side to him. He was gentle, kind, always looking out for you. You loved him so much for that. He'd never let anyone but you see this side of him.
Grabbing your sack you sling it over your shoulder and secure it as you both prepare to head out. Xiao was never one for small talk, but you still engaged him in conversation while you two walked. He secretly loved the sound of your voice so he kept you entertained just so he could keep hearing it.
After a few hours of walking both of you had arrived to Stone Gate, you decide it was time for a break. You stretch your arms upwards and arch your back before plopping down on top of a log you had found, patting the spot next to you for Xiao to sit next to you, but he shook his head and continued to stand on guard, "Oh come on, Xiao. We've been walking for hours. It's okay to rest for a bi-"
He quickly raised his hand to stop you from talking and put a finger to his lips before quietly saying, "I sense something evil coming our way," He readied his jade spear before continuing, "I need you to hide someplace safe."
"No way am I going to let you fight on your own!" You retort, getting your sword ready. Determination burned in your eyes as you glanced over to him.
He met your gaze and let out a small sigh, his golden eyes glimmering before giving you a nod, "Fine."
You started hearing rustling from all around you both when it finally clicked that it was an ambush. A charge of at least twenty Hilichurls and three large ones came at the both of you from all sides, "Tck. . Damn. There are more than I expected, " Xiao muttered angrily, knocking back three with his spear in one swift movement, killing them instantly.
You swiftly take out two more, rushing at a third one. You two made a hell of a team. You didn't have a vision, but you were very skilled with the sword and whatever you didn't have, Xiao made up for it creating the perfect synergy between the both of you.
"So much for a peaceful break!" You call out to him as you hacked away a few more, so far you've managed not to get hit. Xiao managed to take out the rest rather quickly.
You rush to his side, noticing a rather long cut across his right cheek, "Xiao, you've been hurt," you said, a frown forming on your lips. He reached up to touch it and he winced slightly.
"I must have been nicked by an arrow, " He muttered, "I'm just glad you're not hurt," He softly took your chin in his hand as he tilted your head gently, side to side.
You blush furiously, avoiding his beautiful gaze, "Let me at least tend to your cut. It's the least I can do" you say, rummaging through your sack taking out the med kit.
Xiao took a seat on the log you were previously sitting on as you kneel in front of him, gently tending his wound. He winces each time you dab it with the disinfectant, but he's grateful to you.
After placing the bandage on his cut, he gingerly takes your hand and places it back on his cheek, nuzzling into it, "Thank you, " He said in a hushed whisper before kissing your hand.
You smile at him and leaned upwards, giving a quick kiss to his bandaged cut, leaving him stunned. "That's to make it heal faster" you say giggling softly at his expression.
He still wasn't used to human customs, but this he could get used to.
Xiao x gn reader END
● His work as the Dark Knight hero brings him home with several injuries a week, but you're quick to assist him and most of the time he's careful not to sustain anything too horrible. Though you never fail to scold him for being reckless and to take it easy once in a while.
● He always studies your features as you tend to him, falling in love with you all over again. You're so tender with your touch, careful not to cause him any further harm. He always pulls you into a tight embrace afterwards, grateful to be back in your arms after a long night.
You let out an exasperated sigh as you study the mildly battered Diluc. His bright fiery colored hair, falling in locks in front of his face as he plops down in a chair, leaning his head back. He had several small cuts from what you could tell with the amount of tears on his clothing, "You over did it again, didn't you?" You asked, hands on your hips.
"Mm, perhaps I may have, " Diluc replies back, slowly taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, preparing for you to clean out his cuts and scrapes.
You click your tongue in response to his answer, "You worry me so much, you know that, right?" But you're quick to blush as he slides off his shirt, his perfectly sculpted abs catching the dim light of the room, creating perfect shadows across his skin.
He smirks at you, "I'm aware, but I also love seeing how you care for me after a long night, Y/N," Diluc takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips as he gingerly kisses it, glancing up at you with his gentle crimson eyes.
You fidget shyly, meeting his gaze, "O-of course. I'll always support you, but it's okay to give your body a break once in a while too. ." You say, smiling softly wondering what you were gonna do with him.
Diluc lets go of your hand, letting you get to work on cleaning his several small cuts. You're careful not to further hurt him as you dab them clean, applying a bandage to each one, "All finished." You say, proud of your handiwork.
"Thank you, my dear," He says as he gets up, pulling you into a warm embrace. Your heart pounding in your chest. You lift your face up to meet his loving crimson gaze as he leans down to give you a soft, warm kiss upon your lips.
You may not like to see him hurt, but you live for these gentle moments.
Diluc x gn reader END
I hope you enjoy <3
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bellesowl · 2 months ago
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you and iwaizumi always had your differences, but you’d never shied from them.
“that’s why we work”, you tell your friends, “opposites attract, don’t they?”
and after seeing how well you two work they laugh and agree, noting how it was hilarious to see someone as soft-spoken as you with someone as brash as iwaizumi.
it’s like second nature, you think. having been friends with him and oikawa since your middle school years, you’ve gotten used to the bluntness of the former ace — learned to love it, even.
that isn’t to say your differences never got in the way.
iwaizumi sighs, “i don’t see why it’s such a big deal.”
you scoff, “that’s the problem! i waited for you for four years. now you expect me to wait some more?”
“it’ll only be for a year!” he exclaims, “you know it’s my dream to train the olympic team, it’s not my fault you can’t move with me.”
“and why would i root up my life for you when you would never give me that consideration?” you ask softly, trying to maintain some semblance of peace.
“because i actually have a meaningful job! i’m not some barista, y/n, i can’t just get another job at another godforsaken coffee shop like you can.” he yells
you reel back, shocked. “why would you say that, haji? that was mean.”
“we’ll, sorry i’m not feeling the nicest right now. my bad for being upset when my girlfriend for almost five years now is arguing with me over an inconsequential thing!” he snarks
“inconsequential? you call moving to a completely different city inconsequential? it might be for you, but not for me hajime. i have friends here, i have a life that i made for myself while you were gone for four years!” you sigh, exasperated, “this won’t be going anywhere, will it?”
knowing what you’re about to say, his eyes widen. “no, we can sort this out, yeah? c’mon doll, you know we can get through this.”
you smile softly in resignation. “i don’t think we can, my love.”
“but i don’t wanna lose you” he says, grabbing a hold of your hand.
you lift your joined hands to your mouth and place a soft kiss on his for the last time.
“i don’t want to lose you either, love, but neither of us will be backing down anytime soon. so go, follow your dreams wherever they take you, alright?” you say softly.
he shakes his head and refuses to let go, “i don’t want to, not without you.”
“ah but you must, haji. our paths are taking us in different directions.” you smile, your eyes filled with tears. “so you have to go and be great, because i’ll be watching you every step of the way.”
he cries then, knowing there’s nothing he could say to change your mind. so you stay like that, both sobbing in each other’s arms for god knows how long.
“so this is really it?” he asks, eyes puffy and nose red.
“you nod, for a little, until i can handle being just friends with you. i know you’ll do amazing, love. think of me when something good happens, yeah?” you ask
“no one else would cross my mind, doll.” he promises, and pressed a kiss on your forehead before leaving your apartment.
you sigh, more tears escaping your treacherous eyes. you never did get to tell him about your condition, huh? the one that promised to take you after a couple years. it’s better this way you reason, a clean break.
that night, you go to bed dreaming of a life with iwaizumi, where you moved with him. a life without having to worry about this stupid condition.
little did you know he dreamt of you as well. a life with you, where you grow old together.
opposites do attract, and soulmates do exist— but they were meant to be, not meant to last.
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aha hii <3 this really sucks but i’m just getting back into the groove of it loves 🤍 hope u missed me
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hiraethflower · a month ago
kazuha with a bookworm s/o
kazuha x gender neutral reader, fluff/sfw
additional notes: repost due to previous difficulties regarding posting and tags ! [ original message: requested by an anon! thank you for requesting ♡ i got carried away with this but i hope it's not too messy/long to read ! ]
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although kazuha doesn't necessarily make an effort to look for someone who dedicates themselves to reading and writing, he does eventually appreciate that you share his sentiments (the crew thanks you many times, gratified that they will no longer have to hear him drone on about the beauty of nature)
he's so in love with you that while you're caught up in a chapter of your book or furiously scribbling down ideas for your plot, you'll catch him smiling at you like a fool
he's captivated by your natural mannerisms as you read: the way your eyes drift across a sentence as you absorb the words or the way your lips curve up when you come across something amusing
he will often write in his free time too, and although he opts for haikus, he's delighted when you ask him for help on writing your latest novel
kazuha has joined your late night writing sessions, chest pressed against your back as you sit between his legs, soft and lyrical voice suggesting ideas that you immediately jot down. your ears burn at his proximity and the way the warmth of his breaths tickles your neck as he peers over your shoulder curiously
hours later, when you finally declare that it's time for some much needed rest, you always feel guilty when you notice how fatigued he looks, crimson eyes bleary, and he can barely lift his head from your shoulder
from then on, you try your best to persuade him to retire early, promising to follow soon after. yet he somehow finds a way to refuse repeatedly despite returning from a long and arduous expedition
"there's no need for you to stay up with me!" you insist, gently nudging him towards the bed but kazuha shakes his head. "i can never sleep well when you're not by my side." he confesses shyly, and you gawk at him, taking a moment to process his words before tackling him into a hug, unable to resist his flustered expression
on rare occasions, as you conjure up tales of courageous heroes and treacherous adventures on paper by candlelight, kazuha nods off, arms slackening around your waist (you smile to yourself before calling it a night, blowing out candles as you stagger towards the bed with kazuha clinging to you)
likewise, if you request kazuha to read over your work, he's happy to oblige! he simply cannot resist you, and being the first person to read your work makes him feel elated
kazuha will gift you novels he thinks you might be interested in, and there is almost always a maple leaf pressed neatly between the pages. sometimes, it'll be an old favourite of his and he'll even write tiny annotations in the margins or include little messages to highlight sentences that remind him of you
adores it when you read to him! whether it's the both of you spending the afternoon sitting in the shade of a great tree with his head in your lap or if it's you reading your favourite book to him at night. it's perfect for him to unwind after a particularly stressful day, plus he can listen to your voice (he claims that it's his favourite sound in the world, and can easily defeat even the most talented bard)!
kazuha practically makes heart eyes at you when you ramble animatedly about the current novel you're reading. he also loves it when you discuss upcoming works with him! it's endearing how the timbre of your voice becomes higher-pitched as you gesture excitedly with your hands
he knows it's silly but he can't help but mope when you pay more attention to your book than him (in your defense, you had just gotten to the climax of the plot)
being a romantic at heart, kazuha will call your name, petulant when you merely hum but don't glance at him. tugging the book down, he'll lean forward to capture your mouth with his
if he's truly desperate for your attention in public, he'll yank the novel out of your grasp and swallow your complaints with a kiss, one hand preventing you from moving away while the other holds the book up as a shield from prying eyes
if you've recently published a book, he'll subtly promote it when the fleet sails to other nations and cities. however, he'll never divulge details on your relationship. after all, kazuha is still a wanted fugitive fleeing from the nightmare that the shogun calls eternity
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angelkurenai · 7 months ago
Long overdue - Bucky Barnes x Reader
Title: Long overdue
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: None
Prompt: Could you please do a Bucky and y/n where she is shy but is really close to Steve and Bucky thanks their dating and he gets jealous because he loves her but they don’t really talk that much? Love your work
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“Still not ready to retire old man?” you smiled, teasingly when the blonde looked at you over his shoulder, but always with a warmth in your eyes that only longtime friends, family, at this point could have. Especially after everything you've all been through.
“What did you just call me, right now?” he narrowed his eyes at you, a lightness and easiness in both his movement and voice, as you couldn't see much of his face at that moment. Granted there was still some heaviness in the atmosphere whenever silence followed, and his moves if one was to pay close attention could notice were short and stiff. And you do notice it.
But who could blame him? Things are better than what they've been five years ago but still, that doesn't mean good. Not when people were still lost in the battle, important ones. Also family.
It's as good as it can get for now at least, and to have your best friend alive and here with you is really the second best thing at the moment. So you can't nor will complain.
“Am pretty sure you heard me. Just as I am sure that if I looked close enough, I could spot a white strand of hair here and there.” you smirked when his eyes widened “But that's not the point here. What I mean is, it's been a good couple months since you gave up that shield, and yet you're still somehow around. Changed your mind, maybe you need a new one? I saw one the other day when I was in town, I think it would suit you.”
“I'm just taking my time, it's not that easy to find an apartment in Brooklyn. You know that.” he turned to fully face you, a frown on his face but it was anything but serious as he crossed his arms over his chest “Besides, weren't you the one that said I should take as much time as I need and that this will always be my home? What happened now? Can't wait to get rid of me?”
“Oh you figured it out, at last.” you played along, letting out a long sigh of relief “Yeah, I'm so sick and tired of seeing that perfectly handsome face all the time. Distracting, taunting and at the same time reminding me of the 20 skincare products I have to use yet again tonight, to look even remotely human.”
A deep chuckle escaped his lips, the easy smile managing to warm you deep to your heart, just as much as his arms did the moment they wrapped around you "If that is to say you look like an angel otherwise, then yes I will accept it.”
“Yeah, particularly the one that rules hell.” you chuckled.
“Why do I even try to say anything nice for you in the first place?” he laughed, shaking his head.
You giggled, wrapping your arms around him as well, trying to find some comfort in your friend- in your family, before you inevitably had to throw yourself into this new world without him. The new age of heroes where many things had changed and in which you wouldn't have someone to turn to any given moment, as easily as it was with Steve. Steve had always been that important. There still was one, much more important of course, but that treacherous heart of yours made it impossible for you to even remotely think you could be so open with him as with Steve. Not without turning every shade of red there was, anyway. “In any case-” you cleared your throat “I could still get you that shield and you can be back on the business in no time. With a new title, of course, but still doing the job... which involves making me breakfast and dinner when I'm too tired. I mean, now that I think about it, you can still keep up that job even if you don't wanna be out on the field.”
“Ah so I do see why you want me to stay after all.” he nodded his head “By the way, what kind of shield are we talking about?”
“Oh it's a special one. I think it was based off a movie? You know how they are with superhero movies lately. And given how bright pink it was I'm guessing Captain Barbie or someth-” but you didn't even get to complete your sentence when a yelp left your lips and soon laughter followed. His fingers moved swiftly as he tickled your sides but you were faster at swatting his hands away.
“Fine, fine. Not a fan of cinema, I see.” you shook your head with a sigh.
“Yeah, forgive me, but we all have flaws. Even me. Is that the real reason why you want me out of here as soon as possible, maybe?” he raised an eyebrow.
“You've got me. Deep down I cannot stand the fact.” you shrugged innocently, but the smile on your lips betraying what you felt.
“Man, I feel the love. You all are glad I came back alive from returning the stones I see.” he said only as a joke, focusing back to gathering the papers filled with older drawings that he had on his table.
“... I am glad you are still here, though, Steve.” you said softly and he looked over his shoulder at you again. This time he didn't just pause, he let go of the papers and turned to face you.
“Where else would I be?” this time a frown set on his face, more serious than any other you'd seen on his face so far, because he understood what your words meant “This is where my family is.”
“Well, yeah, but I mean-” you bit the inside of your cheek and shrugged “There still were more options. More than you had before.”
“More options, yes. A need for a choice? No. I'm good, more than good. And I wouldn't change a thing about what I have here...” he shrugged softly, looking at you carefully almost with calculating eyes before he started speaking again “I mean, save for one thing I suppose. There is always-”
“Don't. Don't you even-” you gave him a sharp look, fast enough to cut him off “Not unless you want me to kick your ass out of here, right now.” you shook your head, lowering your voice “We agreed we wouldn't talk about it. You promised me you wouldn't bring it up again, Steve. You promised.”
You adored your best friend, you honestly did, but moments like this you really wished you had not told him a single word. Not that he wouldn't have figured it out by himself. He was a persistent man, standing by his opinion no matter what. And this time, seeing as he was somehow convinced your feelings could be reciprocated, he did everything in his power to convince you to act on them. He was the only one that knew the truth and you didn't really know if it was a blessing to have someone to talk to about it or a nightmare with how he acted.
“I try but it is too hard seeing how idiotic the two people closest to me can be.” he crossed his arms over his chest, making you frown for a moment in confusion “And I'm still having a hard time understanding why. I get that you have trouble opening up to people, more than just get it. I know how it is. I'm not the most open person exactly, either, and the thought of getting attached to someone is terrifying given the job we do. But it's not just someone, someone random, we're talking about here. There is nothing to be shy abo-”
“I'm not shy about a damn thing, Steve, stop saying that.” you huffed, giving him a hard look “I'm a grown-ass woman who has saved your ass and the world at the same time, more times than I can count. I'm not some schoolgirl to be shy or crushing or daydreaming or whatever word you wanna use again about- about me and you-kow-who.” the fact that you couldn't even say your name for fear of him somehow being around and hearing did make you look no more mature than a schoolgirl.
“All I'm saying is that if you opened up more, you may be surprised in ways that you couldn't even imagine.”
“Oh like him telling me he feels the same? Well, let's see: you are his best friend, practically his brother. He confides in you, trusts you with his life and everything important to him. Has he told you he sees me as anything more than a friend?”
“Well, he-” he paused “No, not really. He doesn't seem to want to talk much about it... you, with me. Like when I bring you up he gets too stiff but I- I see the way he looks at you! He may not admit it-”
“Because there is probably nothing to admit! It's all in your mind and I can't get my hopes up over just a feeling, Steve.”
“Look, all I'm saying is-” he sighed, shaking his head “All this- All this waiting, and pining because you know that's what this is-” he pointed a finger at you before you could get to retort “You know that's exactly what this is! Waiting and hoping it- it goes away somehow? That your feelings for him are something that will just pass like a scratch on knee, or that you'll cover it up and it will be like they don't exist? This is not how it works. You have to try your chance because if you don't then you'll only live to regret it, and I know you will the same I know it's not something that goes away. He may not see it, but I do. And the way you look at Buc-” he stopped himself when your eyes widened, he sighed instead and raised his arms in surrender “The way you look at him, the way you care and-” he stopped himself, shaking his head before slowly approaching you again.
“For god's sake, the way you love, (Y/n), that is not something that can easily be found. This love that you have in you, this big heart that you are so willing to give without a second thought, the care and selfless devotion is- it's one of a kind.” he slowly wrapped his arms around you, looking you carefully in the eyes “You are one of a kind. And anyone that has even part of your love should thank his lucky stars because it is a blessing to be loved by a woman like you. Waiting is one thing, but to be loved like this and not know it, it would be the biggest tragedy in one's life, (Y/n).”
You knew he was only saying everything because he wanted to help you out, to give you a push as gentle as possible towards the right direction. How right was it for you to confess to his best friend that you've always had feelings for him for so long and possible ruin the dynamics and relation you'd built with all of them (besides making a terrible fool of yourself), you didn't know. You were scared to even think of telling him the truth when you could barely utter a few words in his presence because of that treacherous heart of yours that jumped around like crazy whenever he was near.
“Says the world's leading authority on waiting too long.” you mumbled as a weak excuse, knowing he was right, and let your head rest on his chest as he tightened the hold around your waist.
“Yeah, well, speaking from experience I suppose.” he kissed the top of your head “I just want you to be happy, you know how important you are to me. And I would hate to-”
He didn't, however, get to finish his sentence when another voice was heard “Hey, Steve, you done with those-” but his words were also cut off as he breathed a low, gruff “Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.”
“Wha- No, hey, Buck. Not interrupting.” Steve gave his friend a soft smile, pulling away from you and giving you a chance to take a goo look at his friend, and a good look you did take “Just having a word here with (Y/n). Sorry to keep you guys waiting.”
“No I uh should've thought so. Judging from the heartfelt words and all that. I shouldn't have assumed you were talking to yourself, I suppose.” he was mostly speaking to Steve but his eyes were mostly on you, a soft smile on his lips though it didn't reflect on his eyes at all. After barely half a beat, he spoke to you “Hey (Y/n). How you've been?”
“Hello Bucky.” you smiled as well, your throat closing up “Good, you?” you asked and he gave you a soft nod, without taking his eyes off you. Not that you did either. How could you?
Even if somebody were to warn you about it, it would never be able enough to prepare you for what you were seeing. You always knew and would easily admit that the man was good-looking, but this- this even more attractive than you could even imagine. You had seen photos of him back in the days, with his hair shorter and his face on full display, but to see him in person was a whole other thing. It took your breath away to have his eyes fully on you and not for a second hidden. It felt like his whole face was more open, even though his features were still somewhat clouded; the weight on his shoulders wouldn't go away anytime soon that was for sure. But to be able to be like the man he was back then was more than in looks, he could slowly feel like him again.
“Because that would have made so much sense now, wouldn't it?” Steve spoke up.
“Probably. I don't know, I just heard the last sentence anyway, so-” he shrugged, his eyes only stealing a glimpse at you before looking away in what seemed like guilt which you could not understand “Apologies about that. If you guys wanna stay alone some more, I can go by the car and wa-”
“Nah we're good here, all that lady's been doing is distract me anyway.” Steve shot you a playful look “Maybe you can help me out here a bit. I'll take this bag to the car and (Y/n) can tell what else we need from the desk.”
“Alright, I-” Bucky hesitated only for a second, his eyebrows pulling into a frown when Steve all-too-eagerly grabbed his only full bag of clothes and left his room, all excited to leave you alone with Bucky and you would have glared at him if you didn't feel terrified “There he goes.” Bucky sighed before turning to you with a soft smile “Ok, so is there anything you need help with?”
“I uh ye-yeah. Steve was gonna gather his drawings next so given they're important we could... do that.” you breathed out a little hastily but also in a low voice as you rushed to get to the desk. Bucky didn't say a word himself, only letting the tense silence hang in the air; while you struggled on the inside to come up with something good enough. It wasn't just that you were shy or quiet, you were always so unsure of what was best to say to the man, fearing you'd mess it up or make a fool of yourself.
“He's got plenty of these, must have felt really inspired hm?” Bucky spoke in a soft voice, looking over at the drawings Steve had done of you. You got distracted for a moment, taking the warmth in his eyes and the smile that look bittersweet if not sad on his face.
“Uh yeah.” you cleared your throat “It was around the time I was trying to get him back to drawing after I found his art. I was a bit shy about it at first but I suppose they're good.”
“His art always was, he's got a way of bringing things to life, capturing things in a different way but this-” he pause, looking up to meet your eyes, locking them in a look that only made your knees weak if the small distance hadn't already “It would never even compare to the real thing. That is one of a kind. You've always been anyway, I don't think there is a single person that knows you and could deny that.”
“I- I'm not that special.” you could feel the heat rise up on your cheeks and forced yourself to look down.
“I didn't just say special. I said one of a kind, unique. As is... everything about you. But then again, Steve has always been lucky without even knowing it.”
Glancing at him you did notice the honesty in his eyes, the warmth that almost reached out to you like that of the sun. If it weren't for his words that had your heart hammering in your chest, you would have paid more attention to the way his smile didn't really reach his eyes or the longing with which he looked at you.
“I suppose.” you mumbled, though you couldn't understand the meaning behind his last sentence. Letting the silence fill the room again you desperately searched for something else to say. You didn't speak much with Bucky but you wanted – despite your fear – to be the one to keep the conversation going because the truth was you loved talking with him “You look good, you got a haircut.”
Well, when you weren't making a fool of yourself that is.
Bucky paused for a moment, looking at you and you really braced yourself for him to laugh at you and call you out on what a stupid thing that was to say. But instead all you got a smile that you would be damned if it wasn't shy. It was almost too sweet for your heart to take, and the way he ducked his head as if some bashful... schoolboy (you almost laughed at the word that came up in your mind) had your breath getting caught up in your throat once more. You had never seen this side of Bucky. Never.
“Yeah I uh-” he smiled, fully smiled, and your own heart jumped to your throat “I thought that maybe it was time for a change. I didn't know if I could pull it off again after all these years but I-”
“No” you whispered “No, you're- you look great, really, Buck.” you confessed softly and his smile only got bigger “Not that you didn't before, don't get me wrong. You just look like you did back in the days. I- I saw a couple photos of you and Steve, and it's- it's good. Real good.” you gave him a small nod, which he return.
The smile stayed on his lips as he admitted “Yeah, truth is Steve was the one that insisted on it for some reason.” some reason, yeah, more like you saying how good Bucky looked with short hair better yet.
“Well, I'm glad you took that choice. It does look great. And... not that I think you had any trouble before, but now you'll have all the ladies swooning over you, you will barely have time for us.”
“That would never happen, never. I would never put anyone else before you.” he spoke with so much sincerity that you had to look away for a second because of the intensity “Besides-” he cleared his throat “Looking forward to go on double dates or something? I figured you and Steve wouldn't have time for us.”
“Steve, probably, he's got a lot on his plate now. But what do I have to do with any of it?”
“I just-” he shrugged softly, frowning “I figured that moving in a new place is... a lot.”
“It is... hence Steve having a lot on his plate. I still don't get what I have to do with that? I mean, sure, I'm his best pal besides you and Sam, but it's not like I'm moving in with him or anything.” you shrugged with an smile, focusing for a few moments on the drawings before you.
“Oh I thought-” he paused, nodding his head before he let out a soft breath “Well, I suppose I was just assuming. It's not like... this changes anything, right?” his words were so hesitant that it confused for a second.
“...No? Why would it? Steve is still Steve. Things are and will continue to be the way they've always been.”
“I mean-” he cleared his throat again, shifting in his place “You two are good right? Like, together and all that, you're good?”
“Just like we've always been, Buck, I don't understand why you're asking this. Honestly... Is there something not right with you, maybe?” you asked softly, trying to meet his eyes even though he avoided it.
“No, why would there be?” he swallowed thickly, nodding to himself “And besides, I should've thought so.” he offered you a smile, albeit weak “He wouldn't have given up a chance with... A chance to the life he would've had for something that's not important. As far as that is concerned, I don't blame him. I would do the same.”
“You... you mean Peggy, don't you?”
“I-” he shrugged softly “I didn't really wanna mention her in case... Well, he did leave her for you. He stayed here, didn't go back to live his life with her. Which, again, is the right choice. To tell you the truth, I feared for a moment that we wouldn't see him come back from that time travel unless he was graying and old.” feared, and that terrible part of himself that was too selfish, hoped he would stay back in time to have his life with Peggy so that Bucky could maybe get a chance with you in case-
“But he did come back.” you whispered “And he did it for all of us, there's no reason to give me all the credit, Bucky.”
“I mean, you're still the main reason. And as I said, he did make the right choice. Hell, I know that if he had even so considered staying back there, I would have kicked his ass for it. But I guess I'm more than glad you two are so good like this, that I didn't need to.” liar, he knew he was such a big liar for saying all of it.
“Main reason, yeah sure.” you breathed out a laugh, feeling proud with yourself for how casual you sounded “Just say what's on your mind, Buck. Steve's so tired of my single sorry ass that he had to stay here to make sure I don't end up being a crazy cat lady. I mean can I blame him? No. I can't even tell the guy I... the guy I like how I feel about him.” you shrugged, not meeting his eyes.
You were saying things you never thought you would, but feeling bold maybe you would slowly get somewhere in the end “I'm sure Steve's just gonna snap one of these days and tell him 'She likes you you idiot, for fuck's sake do something cause I'm sick and tired listening to her talk about you non-stop.' and I'm not even joking. That will be it, word for word. So-” you let out a low laugh “I better hold him back huh?”
“What?” you did expect to see such a dark and serious look to meet you when you finally looked at him “What did you just say (Y/n)?”
“That... you know, with me being single all this time, Steve might try to set me up with- I'm sorry.” you shook your head “Did I say something wrong? Was it something that I-”
“You're... what?” his voice was so gruff that you felt even more worried.
But before you could voice your concerns, your best friend was walking inside the room again “Sorry for the delay, though I suppose you guys barely noticed my-” but he stopped himself when he was met with the hardest glare you had seen Bucky give his friend “Uh is everything alright?”
“We'll see about that.” his voice was deep “Come on. You. Me. Talk. You have lots explaining to do.” he took a deep breath, looking at you for a few too long seconds too many emotions on his face for you to tell apart, before looking back at his friend “And it's been long overdue.”
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wangshuus · 8 months ago
love like you | xiao
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pairing: xiao/gn!reader
genre: angst+fluff
wc: 4.1k
summary: you and xiao are polar opposites according to him and because of that, he deems himself unworthy. 
note: this is my first time writing for genshin and i love xiao so much so this is essentially a bunch of word vomit i whipped together while listening to love like you from the su soundtrack :’) 
(i’ll have to go in for another proof read after but pls take this for now)
fic under the cut
In the land of Liyue, the Adepti were acknowledged for being the protectors of the sacred land, guarding both it and its people. As most of the adepti resided in their abodes, there was but one that stayed within the vicinity of the Wangshu Inn. Xiao; the Vigilant Yaksha, Conqueror of Demons, Alatus. He went by many titles, many names all of which carried the story of the adeptus himself. Upon the years of history carried through Liyue in its passing generations, it’s known to many that despite having the looks of a young man, the adeptus was not someone you would want to take lightly. The Yaksha carried thousands of years worth of burden, shackles of guilt and terror binding him to unpleasant memories. With every passing day, he is harshly reminded of the way he and his polearm skillfully worked through the bloodied dance of weapons on the battlefield, crimson liquid painting the ground and his very hands. It stains so intensely that it was like an unseen tattoo that reminded him of eons of slaughter he partook in, the lives and dreams he so greedily took from people. It was something only he could see and something he would continue to see for many more years to come according to him. 
He very rarely got close to anything or anyone, devoting his life to duty and the orders granted to him by Rex Lapis to protect the beloved land of Liyue. For this very reason, he never thought much about emotions or the overall concept of it, seeing it as a worthless matter, a weakness even, for it could not help in the slaying of those in battle. All he ever knew at that point was violence, having his purity harshly stolen from his grasp all those centuries ago and being left with not even a single grain of what it was like to feel anything pleasant. Whenever he did feel anything, pain, suffering and agony were the only things that filled his system therefore to him, it was better to feel nothing at all. Needless to say, he was somewhat unapproachable on several levels, but who could blame him? 
There then came a day in which all of this would away as an estranged guest made your way merry when into the Inn. You, (Y/n) were a mere mortal traveler with a dendro vision chained upon your hip, specializing in the field of healing. You stumbled upon the inn, looking to take on commissions and requests in exchange for a room for the time being. Your fates clashed with each other during your first encounter when you were tasked to deliver almond tofu to the adeptus that was specially made by yourself. You could still remember stuttering over your words in embarrassment during your first meeting as he revealed himself to you, commending you for your culinary skills but telling you to leave immediately, saying something along the lines of it being ‘too dangerous for mere mortals to stay in the presence of adepti for too long’. It was accurate to say that you two took an interest in the oddity of the situation. Why did Xiao decide to reveal himself to the simple human, knowing very well his mere presence was already a threat to you. Why did you not turn away in fear just from the adeptus’ profound deathly gaze? There were several unspoken questions between you two at the time but that one fateful encounter had caused a shift.
You had decided to extend your stay at the inn a little longer than you intended to. You went about the daily tasks set out by Verr in exchange for your stay every day that you were there. The completion of your tasks leads to a delivery that had become habitual to you during your stay at the inn. Every day you’d made your way up to the highest terrace in the inn to drop off a plate of almond tofu to the adeptus. On some days, he’d reveal himself and on some others, he chose to remain unseen-- and to you, this was okay. As the days passed, it began to be more apparent how odd this whole shift was for the both of them.
You are an adventurer, someone who sought out to travel the lands, and yet, you remained grounded at the Inn, your fascination and curiosity driving your patience to learn about the distant Yaksha and fuelling your willingness to stay settled at the inn instead of seeking for the thrill of adventure. Xiao was an adeptus, a being that has lived for many years on end, a being that has slaughtered countless, a being that carried an indescribable amount of karmic debt for all the treacherous and ungodly amount of terror he has bestowed upon thousands in the past. He could not explain to himself why he even decided to associate with a simple mortal, thinking that there was something wrong with him at the time because he knew that if he were in his right mind, he would have never even bothered taking a glance at the human. But then again, not all things could be explained. From the days that you had stayed at the Inn for that time, you would find yourself visiting the lone adeptus every evening, delivering a plate of what became familiar to him as your almond tofu, the one that deemed to be the closest to that of the dreams he so greedily devoured all those years ago. 
Months had passed since the first day you first set foot into the inn. You had managed other work and commissions throughout the time but often found herself coming back. you became well acquainted with everyone who worked there, practically making it her second home in fact. Even when you did have to part ways, you would pass by whenever you could, sparing your time and energy at least once a week to come reeling back like a moth drawn to a flame. The reason behind it was very evident to you, nothing that you would ever admit to hiding at this point. You did enjoy the company and atmosphere of the other humans at the inn but at the end of the day, everything came back down to the enigmatic adeptus that resided there. 
Sensing your presence had become second nature to the adeptus, him knowing the very moment you set foot into the Inn. He would never admit it to himself, but he found himself looking forward to the mortal’s visits. He still thought about the first day he decided to reveal himself to you, feeling a little more content about it with every passing day. But something about the whole ordeal scared him to no end. He wished it wasn’t the case but he was well aware of all the changes and feelings that had bloomed since you waltzed into his life. The feeling of bubbling excitement inside of him every time you came back to him, the feeling of embarrassment of when you’d blurt out compliments towards him, feeling more comfortable and daring as the visits continued. The feeling of protectiveness washing over him when you told him stories in which you got even the slightest bit injured. One may view this just as someone showing emotion; but that was the problem for him. He wasn’t supposed to show emotion-- he wasn’t supposed to feel-- according to himself at least. Rather, he didn’t deem himself worthy to feel pleasant emotions.
“Xiao” A familiar voice called out to him, turning to face the direction from where he stood, which happened to be the spot where he viewed the familiar landscape of Liyue.
You made your way towards him, holding out a plate of almond tofu which he had come to admire. He took the plate from your grasp and greeted her with a light hum of acknowledgment before beginning to munch down on the tofu. You let out a soft chuckle before standing next to him and leaning on the railing, staring off into the starry skies you had become accustomed to seeing, though every time, it never failed to amaze you. Your eyes gazed at the twinkling stars in the sky as you began your usual routine of speaking about how your life has been since you last saw each other. You had become accustomed to Xiao’s aloof demeanor at times like this because you knew that despite him seemingly looking uncaring, he was secretly listening to your rambling. You stared off into the distance as you spoke, your attention being stolen by the stars. While at work on the plate of almond tofu in his hands, Xiao took these moments to look at you as he silently listened to your long-winded sentences.
In serene moments like these, it was hard for Xiao to keep his composure. Though the stars in the sky glimmered so beautifully, they paled in comparison to your eyes when they sparkled so passionately when you spoke of your adventures. In moments like these, Xiao was reminded of your courteous nature. He was reminded of how good you are, going about your time adventuring the lands, specializing in the art of healing with the assistance of the beloved vision clipped at your side. You lived for adventure; you lived to help those in need. It was in moments like these when he became painfully aware of how different you were from each other.
It had been so long since Xiao ever considered himself to be good in any way. He was all too aware of the disgusting red that painted his hands permanently, the hands which have slain countless beings in the past. The hands that he did not see worthy to touch anything so fragile in fear that it would break, feeling as if anything would die at even the slightest touch of his fingertips. You see, when he met you, he was so sure that he was far from anything good and you proved himself to be right in his mind; because you were what he deemed to be good in his eyes. And he was nothing like you.
Before he knew it, he was left with an empty plate and a bustling mind full of thoughts as he looked out into the distance along with your words flowing freely with the wind. You turned back to see Xiao in all his glory, taking in his presence, eyes lingering upon him like the first time you met him. There was never a day that passed where he didn’t look stunning in your eyes. The reserved yaksha was nothing short of a challenge for you to get close to. Even to this day, there are times where he was standoffish towards you. In moments like these, you’re reminded of how you’ve barely scratched the surface of his character, being well aware that he’s lived far longer than you and will quite possibly continue to live way beyond your time. Though he hasn’t explained every single detail of his past to you, there have been significant points in time where he has opened up about snippets of his past, to which you grasped and held onto as much detail as you could when he went on. You’ve picked up that Xiao isn’t the most well-articulated when it comes to explaining his feelings but you paid no mind to it, taking pride over the fact that he has yet to slit your throat open with his spear. There have been countless occasions in which you’ve praised Xiao but none of them have truly projected your feelings towards the adeptus.
Xiao was not truly aware of how deeply you felt for him. Sure, he thought that you were interested enough to stick around and pester him for who knows whatever reason. However, it went way beyond that. You admired him so dearly, his presence being one in which you ironically found an indescribable amount of comfort in. You’ve listened intently to his wise words of wisdom, his tales of his bloodstained past that he was willing to share, as well as his little remarks about how peculiar humans are. You saw beyond the seemingly frigid, cold, and distant demeanor of Xiao and instead saw a boy with such a yearning to be tender, gentleness being beyond his reach according to him but to you, he was gentle. 
You noticed the way he would handle the little things involving you. You notice the way his tone has changed in the slightest when talking to you whenever he does, softer than the first time you had initially met. You notice the way he acts when it comes to physical touch, preferring to make little to no contact to you but his touches were soft and fleeting whenever touch was necessary. He’s told you several times in the past that he has a brute touch preferring a distance to keep himself from hurting you. From that alone, you knew he’s gentle, reluctant to admit it though due to the events of the past but nonetheless, his gentleness was hard to grasp but must be cherished greatly and that is something that you have done. 
“Xiao” You called out to him. He turned to face you, noticing how you were staring right back at him, your arms resting upon the railing as you gazed at him.
“Is something wrong? You seem a little more spaced out today.” You spoke out again.
He sighed before clicking his tongue. “It's nothing that should be of any concern to mo--” 
“--mortals like you, I know yada yada yada. You’ve said that far too many times in the past. Now tell me, what’s truly wrong Xiao. I did make you listen to my rambling so it’s only fair that you shoot something my way.” You cut him off. 
Annoyance laced his features as he let out his nth sigh of the day. He turned to look at you, giving you a serious, almost cold look.
“I am already greatly aware of how odd some human tendencies are, knowing you mortals do some strange actions that even I question to this day. But you, you are the most peculiar of ones that I have encountered. You wish to stay with someone as myself, someone who could take your life in a single heartbeat. So tell me, why does someone like you continue to linger?”
Lo and behold, a question that you were surprised to hear from him, though you knew the day would eventually come when he would ask. Why did you continue to come to him time and time around? You let out an exasperated sigh as you turned to him with a lighthearted smile in an attempt to lighten the tension that filled the air.
“I enjoy your company, that’s all. Is it so wrong to spend time with someone when you enjoy them being around?” You stated. His eyes narrowed at your response.
“I do not believe it is normal to risk your life simply for mere company, it is not worth it. I refuse to believe that your motives are as light-hearted as that. Is there something that you desire that is beyond that of human capabilities?” He stated.
Your eyebrows furrowed and your smile faltered at his aloof response. What was with the sudden cold demeanor he decided to put up front? You held eye contact with his warm amber orbs that held a stare ironically as cold as the mountains of Dragonspine.
“It’s because you’re you, Xiao. I come back and spend my time here because you are you. I enjoy the little things about you and the time we spend together, y’know? I enjoy the way your eyes light up at the sight of almond tofu, I enjoy your little declarations of how odd us mortals are, I enjoy hearing you open up about even the littlest of things. You’re special in my eyes, Xiao. You’re strong in so many different aspects, you’re wise in the words of advice you speak and last but not least, you’re gentle. Those are just a few of many aspects of yourself that make you so special to me.”
Xiao’s face contorted to one of bewilderment for a brief moment before morphing to one of disbelief, scoffing at the statement. ‘Gentle’ he thought. When you mentioned him being gentle, he thought to himself that it was a load of pure nonsense.
“Calling me gentle is simply blasphemous. I have told you countless times that I am far anything related to that of a tender nature. I leave nothing but a trail of anguish and regret. You’re foolish to see me in anything of a good kind of special, even more so if you see me as gentle.” He firmly stated as his arms crossed tightly across his torso.
Archon’s Xiao’s mind was a mess. He was in a stubborn state of denial as he refused to believe the words that slipped past your lips, writing them off as lies. He covered the creeping insecurity that arose in him with a stone cold demeanor like he always did. He couldn’t accept it, he couldn't even fathom to believe what makes you think he’s so special. 
“Listen Xiao, you’re being awfully stubborn right now.” You said dejectedly. Despite his current manner, you wouldn’t back down, seeing this as one of the only opportunities where you could truly and openly speak about how you felt towards him. You turned so that you were fully facing him, standing your ground as you spoke to him.
“You think so lowly of yourself sometimes y’know? It saddens me to know that you only ever see yourself like that.” You stated.
“I am stating nothing but the tru--” Xiao spoke.
“Listen to me, Xiao.” You cut him off, him being surprised by your snapback.
“You’re far more than your own past. I’m aware of everything you’ve gone through from what you’ve told me. Forgive me for I’m unable to fully sympathize with you but I can’t let you continue to do this to yourself. I’ve only known you for mere months out of the thousands of years you’ve lived but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you’re not as bad as you claim yourself to be.” You paused for a moment to gather yourself before you continued on, looking that Xiao was very much paying attention, an unreadable look on his face.
“You’ve told me yourself that you’ve been around long enough to capture the knowledge of the world to an extent. You’ve told me that you’re aware of how barbaric and lethal your own strength is but you’ve never told me that you hold tenderness inside you, even after all you’ve been through. You hold such valuable knowledge in the field of strength but you’ve failed to notice that the gentleness in you is not completely gone.” Your own hands stretched out and firmly held onto his gloved ones as you continued speaking. 
“You speak about yourself as if you’re not worthy of feeling anything but the anguish and pain as a price to pay for your actions. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable, you’re allowed to feel curious, you’re allowed to feel happiness. I want you to be more honest with yourself so that you can see that you’re worthy enough to feel good emotions. You can extend yourself out to others and the human world and allow yourself to be free. Still after all this time, I sense you feel that it’s necessary to keep me at an arm's length but that’s not true nor is it something that I want. Though this fact alone proves my statement. The fact you wish to keep me away is a sign that you hold that gentleness within but you can still learn to be gentle without having to lock everyone out. Your loneliness isn’t an inevitable conclusion, and I’ll prove to you that it isn't. I wish to stay with you not only because I enjoy your company but because I found something in you worth cherishing. I want to see you grow from whatever anguish you hold, even if it’s just a little bit. I know my life might be merely a second in yours but please, let me do what I can in my lifetime to make you feel worthy and feel loved, because I truly do love and care for you, Xiao.” Your grip tightened around his hands, fearing that he’d yank them away from you with every passing second. Although you firmly stand your ground, you were internally malfunctioning at the whole-hearted confession to the adeptus in front of you.
Xiao felt as if the wind was knocked out of his lungs, face contorted into that of even more disbelief as he found himself still trying to process this whole ordeal. He took the time in processing the words that came directly from your heart as it went straight into his, a warm feeling erupting inside of him, something that felt to foreign to him that it scared him a little. Though your words held a weight to them, it was much more pleasant compared to that of his past memories, but it wasn’t enough to distract him from the way you desperately held onto him.
He was well aware that he could pull away from you at any moment, knowing that your strength could in no way match his but he couldn’t do it. The moment your hands touched his, even through his gloves he felt the firm gentleness of your grasp. You were no hydro user but in that very moment, he felt as if you washed away the bloody sins that stained his hands for years on end. For once he felt clean; for once he felt pure, rid of all the unpleasantries of the world for these very moments that he spent with you.
You noticed how Xiao stood still. You feared that you might’ve severely angered him from the way you snapped at him, but the look on his face told you otherwise.
The usually serious and stern face of the adeptus held such a soft, perhaps vulnerable look. His eyes were wide and in the moonlight, you could tell that they were glossed over from the way they shone with emotion, mouth slightly ajar, possibly trying to find the right words to respond to you. He didn’t need to say anything though because from that look alone, you got all the answers that you needed.
You slowly let go of his hands as one arm moved to wrap around his waist and the other going towards the back of his head, reeling him in closely for a foreign yet mellow embrace. His hands awkwardly stayed at his sides before they slowly and hesitantly moved to hug you back, leaning in gently to your touch as your hand led his head to the crook of your neck, allowing him to bask in the warmth you so generously offered him. For the first time in archons knows how long, Xiao felt a warm liquid spill from his eyes, staining your shirt. Your hands ruffled through his hair in an attempt to soothe him in his time of vulnerability. His hold on you was still so light, almost as if he was afraid he’d break you if he held on even tighter. The hand that ghosted over his back made its way to one of his arms and tugged at it, encouraging him to hold on as much as he needed.
“It’s okay Xiao, you can hold on tighter. I’m not as fragile as you may think. You don’t have to be scared of breaking me.” You chuckled lightheartedly.
His grip did tighten, as he began to mumble words with his face still buried at your side. Something along the lines of apologizing for snapping at you earlier. Your smile widened as you held onto him even tighter if that was possible.
Xiao knew he wasn’t perfect, he was far from it in fact. He had so many flaws and rough edges but that was okay--that’s what made him Xiao. He never understood until now why you thought he was so special and to be quite frank, he still didn’t understand, but he was determined to understand it one day. He wasn’t good like you but he wanted to start believing that he was good in his own way, wishing to truly do something that he felt was right by you in the future. Though it wouldn’t be the easiest of journeys, he was determined to do something that feared him to no end--for you. He wanted to learn how to love, how to love you even more and openly express it to you but also, learn how to love himself, just as you loved him. 
“Thank you, (Y/n).”
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laurasimonsdaughter · 2 months ago
The lights in the club were always too dim for him to see the patrons while he performed. He knew which way to smile, what direction to tilt his head, that was enough. He couldn’t look into people’s eyes while singing anyway. It would throw him off. Until he stepped down off that stage, he might as well be singing to shadows. But he could always feel when he was being watched, really watched.
So he wasn’t surprised when the bartender slid an expensive drink his way as soon as he sat down for his break. “From the brunette at the corner table,” she smirked.
He turned and looked, no need to be subtle when someone was actively vying for your attention. His reaction wasn’t subtle either, but that was wholly involuntary. She was tall, her legs elegantly curved to the side because they did not fit comfortably under the table, and she was looking straight back at him with eyes that glittered as brightly as the faux gold adorning the room.
“You feeling lucky?” the bartender chuckled under her breath.
“I am now.” He didn’t knock back the drink, he knew better. Instead he sipped it and carried it over to where the woman was sitting like a pale vision in a world of plush crimson and polished wood.
A small smile played in the corner of her lips.
“Thank you,” he nodded, raising the glass to her as he came to linger by her table. “To what do I owe the attention?”
Her eyes were the lightest blue he had ever seen. “You sing very beautifully.”
He smiled. “Thank you again.” She spoke beautifully, he thought. In a light, barely-there accent he had never heard before.
“Won’t you sit down?”
“I’m not supposed to,” he lied pleasantly. “I have another set to sing soon.” That at least was true. If he sat down with her now, he very much doubted he’d get up anytime soon.
Her eyes twinkled, but she didn’t smile this time. “Pity.”
He grinned and sipped his drink. “That I won’t sit or that I’ll sing again?”
That did earn him another smile, but she did not indulge him with an answer. “What is your name?” she asked instead.
She really was enchanting. Well, that’s why he had rules. “I’m sure you’ve seen the posters,” he winked. “My stage name is good enough for me.”
He was expecting a laugh, maybe a pout, but to his surprise her eyes sparked with a sharp sort of delight. “Stage name…” she echoed, and for a moment her accent seemed stronger, as if there was a light, foreign edge to her voice that wasn’t there before. “I like that. How clever.” And suddenly she smiled, a proper, wide smile.
He stared at her, and blinked. Her teeth were perfect as pearls, but for a moment, they seemed sharp. Sharp like her ears. He blinked again.
She was smiling softly at him, some inexplicable breeze rustling in her chestnut hair.
“Will you stay?” he heard himself say the words before he had time for second thoughts. “For my next set?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world…”
Behind, on the stage, his pianist took their place again. He must get back. His feet did not seem to want to move. She was looking up at him silently, all the gold of the room reflected in her eyes.
There was no drink in front of her, not even an empty glass or cup, and in a sudden impulse he held out his glass to her. “Would be a waste for me to finish it hastily.”
Time ticked for a slow couple of seconds while she reached out her hand. Her fingers barely brushed his, but they were cool, even among all the heat of the dusky club. It was all he could do to let go of the glass.
He took a step back, his treacherous heart beating fast behind his ribs, and just about managed a parting grin.
She watched him go, he could feel her do it. He didn’t want to glance back, but he wanted to see. He looked over his shoulder just in time to see the glass turn in her elegant fingers as she put her lips to it exactly where his own mouth had been. She drained it in a single draught.
The lights in the club were always too dim for him to see the patrons while he performed. But this time, he could see her glittering eyes fixed on him through every song.
He had never sung better.
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billyhargrovens · 5 months ago
all that i can
His old man's always had a plan when it comes to his life.
And despite Neil Hargrove's best, bloodiest efforts, Billy has always found a way to absolutely not live up to them.
It starts with the order to stay quiet, to keep his mouth shut, to swallow down the words that tumbled over his tongue; unfortunately for everyone involved, Billy had a little too much of his father in him to follow these instructions, and thus, he became quite familiar with the way soap burned when it sat in his mouth for a bit too long.
After that, it was like the floodgates to Hell opened wide; every single thing Billy ever did was, for some reason, wrong. Every move he made, every opinion he gave, every thought he weighed - it was wrong. It went against Neil's precious plans, the plans he wouldn't ever share with Billy - at least, not with words.
By the time Billy Hargrove is sixteen, he considers himself a master of two weapons - words and fists, because while Neil wasn't too good at cutting him with the former, he was real, real good at the latter, and Billy -
Billy adapted.
He adapted and started to walk in the cadence of Neil's silly little Plan if only to avoid learning what it felt like to break every bone in his body. He started to arrange the Rules in his head, started to build up a little hard-earned list that he could keep at the forefront of his mind so maybe, if he was lucky, he'd skate past twenty.
The List went like this;
1. Keep your mouth shut - speak only when spoken to.
(The words started to build up in his throat. They would build and they would build and no matter how much smoke he exhaled, Billy would eventually have to let them come out. Sometimes, he screamed.
Sometimes, he laughed. He laughed, and he laughed, and he laughed, and the only one who could hear him was his empty car, but then -
There's always a but, isn't there?
"Holy shit, dude."
Billy staggers, bottle in his trembling palm. Someone catches his elbow and Billy sneers on instinct, lip curling as he slurs, "fuck off," and turns to find himself staring into big, bright brown eyes.
His breath catches. Steve Harrington smells like the expensive laundry detergent Neil wouldn't let Susan buy and something vaguely like cherries, which doesn't make any fucking sense, but that's what his drunken mind supplies and it makes Billy want to put his fist through something breakable.
He almost puts it through Harrington's pretty, pretty face.
It shouldn't be that pretty, he thinks, and his stomach churns.
"Hey," Steve says, and he looks fucking - worried, which makes Billy sneer harder, "you're - Jesus, man, you're, like, leaking alcohol. How much have you had? Why the Hell are you gettin' drunk in the junkyard? Alone?"
"What?" Billy bites out, "gonna rat me out to the fuckin' pigs? You the guard dog out here, H-Harrington?"
Steve scans his face. "The rugrats are - camping," he says finally, "your sister's out there, man. We heard you - you were screaming."
Vaguely, Billy notes that Steve's got something in his other hand, the one not on his elbow.
It's a bat.
A spiked bat.
What the fuck?
Billy snorts. "Expectin' the swamp-thing to come get ya, Harrington?"
He tweaks the end of the bat, sways too close to Steve - Harrington, he corrects himself firmly - and catches a whiff of the cologne he's wearing. It makes his mouth water.
"It's dangerous out here, Hargrove," Steve says placidly, and Billy hates that he's not riled, hates that he's watching him with worry bending his brow, and for a blinding, aching moment, he hates every fiber of Steve Harrington's everything.
"Nah," Billy slurs, swaying back and catching a glimpse of fire-red hair in his periphery, "never been safer than I am right now, cherry-bomb."
He doesn't know how he gets home. He doesn't remember.
His jacket smells like cherries.
It makes no sense.)
2. Don't you DARE fucking cry, pussy.
(Sometimes the tears would force their way out. Sometimes, it was when Neil got drunk and decided to hit Billy just because he'd take it.
Sometimes, it was when Billy decided to drive so fast he thought his car would peel apart around him, vision blurring until he was seeing stars instead'a the vacant fields of Hawkins, Indiana, as if he were hurtling through space and away from it all, away from Neil Hargrove and his plans and his rules.
He always came back down, though. Always ended up back at the same front door, always ended up back in the same stale-smelling bedroom with the peeling posters on the walls and the knuckle-marks in the door.
Sometimes, the tears came without him even knowing.
Like -
"Jesus, Tommy, are you tryin'a kill him?"
"Are you - are you fuckin' crying, Hargrove?"
He cannot, in any language, describe how very much he hates Tommy fucking Hagan.
Billy bites his tongue. He ignores the hand Steve Harrington offers and pushes off the slick gymnasium floor, leaves pieces of smeared skin behind; his elbows are bleeding, his head hurts, his ears are ringing.
And his treacherous, stupid little eyes are shedding saltwater.
Tommy snorts. He looks almost disturbingly fascinated by the phenomenon of Billy Hargrove showing any other emotion outside of anger, like he's watching a gazelle take down a lion instead of the other way 'round.
"Your nose is bleeding," Steve says unhelpfully.
"Fuck you," Billy says impulsively. Coach blows the whistle.
"Bench, Hagan," the towering, balding man grunts, "Harrington, get Hargrove to the nurse. You're bleeding all over my floor."
"And fuckin' crying all over it," Tommy quips, "don't get snot everywhere, Hargrove."
"Shut the fuck up, Tommy," Steve says, and then his lanky form is between Billy and Hagan and it's lucky, too, because Billy is about two seconds away from becoming the lion again and ripping Tommy fucking Hagan a new one.
You think the floor's bloody now, chief, he thinks bitterly, but then coach is snapping, "Harrington, Hargrove, out. Hagan, bench," and Billy, already ruined by the indignity of his tears, lets Steve Harrington herd him out of the gym.
"Coach said to get me to the nurse," Billy says dumbly when Steve just steers him into the empty locker rooms.
Steve gives him A Look as he wets a towel.
"You don't want to go to the nurse," Harrington snorts, stepping in front of where Billy's leaning back between two sinks, "lettin' more people see this? Don't think so."
Billy's gut burns. It hurts. He wants to shove Steve away, but then he's gently cleaning the blood from under Billy's nose and Billy catches the musk of his sweat and the scent of cherries and he doesn't - he can't -
"Don't know shit about me," he says, a reflex he can't bite back.
Steve pauses. They're close enough Billy can see the flecks of gold in his brown doe eyes.
"Yeah," Steve says calmly, and then the towel rasps over Billy's cheek, catching a tear as it falls, "you're probably right."
They still don't go to the nurse.
Billy goes home craving cherries.)
3. Trust no one. The Lone Wolf Survives. (See rule no. 2)
(He lives surrounded by metal and grease and cigarette smoke - not by people.
Grinding guitars and chugging bass thunders through his veins. His palms are calloused from the bars of his weights, from the cuts he's earned fixing up the Camaro himself before he ever knew how.
From the outer mask of his body to the marrow in his bones, Billy Hargrove is the antithesis of soft.
It's a mineral he lacks, a vitamin he's so deficient in it feels like poison when he encounters it. The first time Max hugs him, he shoves her away on instinct and snorts, "no sissy shit," through a mouth full of panic.
Max doesn't try it again. No one does.
Which suits Billy just fuckin' fine, thank you very much, but -
"You're an idiot."
Billy huffs out smoke. Nancy snatches the cigarette from his teeth and tosses it into the running sink, effectively dousing the last stogie he had left.
"You owe me a pack," Billy says groggily.
Nancy Wheeler has the poker face of a titan. Her expression doesn't change. Billy kinda admires that about her.
"Let her do it," he says, and he still can't - he can't look at Steve.
Steve, who found Billy bloody and beaten and bitten in the woods. Steve, who dragged him back to his little Beamer, the Beamer Billy's been in more often than his own car these days, because he and Steve Harrington are as close to friends as someone like Billy Hargrove can get, 'cause he doesn't -
He doesn't, like, do that?
And Steve doesn't have the poker face of a titan, sort of is leaking his emotions, like, all over Billy while he stitches up the bite on Billy's belly from a demo-dog.
The row is shockingly neat, and Steve's not wearing gloves, so Billy's blood is all over him and he smells like cherries and the cologne he spilled in the Beamer and ozone, which is weird, but Billy's long since learned to just sort of roll with the punches when it comes to Steve Harrington, who smells like cherries and has Billy's blood on his hands and is -
"Oh, c'mon," Billy groans, "don't fuckin' cry, Bambi, Jesus. Let Wheeler do it if you're too chickenshit."
Steve still hasn't said a word. His gaze is ripe with disappointment, which cuts Billy deeper than the fangs had, and he swallows down bile as Steve takes a deep breath and then, finally, says, "can you give us a sec, guys."
It's not a question. Steve's voice is shockingly hard. Cold.
See, this - this is why Billy does shit alone. This is why Billy doesn't do whatever the fuck it is they've been doing. This - friend shit. He doesn't like it, doesn't like the way people feel when they worm under his skin and break there.
Nancy and Jonathan and Max linger. Max looks like she's about to burst into tears again. Billy revels in how it makes him hate himself just a bit more.
"Guys," Steve says, harsher now, and Nancy rolls her eyes before herding the other two out. The bathroom door shuts with a click. Billy feels a bit like a cornered wolf.
But as soon as the door shuts, all the tension bleeds out of Steve. The tension bleeds outta Steve and Billy opens his mouth to say something but he can't remember what it was gonna be because then Steve's leaning forward and he - fuckin' puts their heads together like they're in the trenches, or some shit.
His skin is hot where it smears against Billy's.
"You can't do that shit," and this is probably why Steve hasn't talked, yet, 'cause his voice sounds - sheesh. It sounds bad.
He's relaxed like he doesn't think Billy's gonna shove him away.
Two years on, and Billy thinks Steve Harrington might know a little more about him than he ever planned on.
"You can't - just," Steve presses his bloody hand to Billy's bare chest. His jeans are muddy with Upside-Down goo. So are Steve's. They're filthy.
"Call me," Steve rasps finally, "next time. You're not fucking Batman, Hargrove. You can't fight them alone. None of us can."
But -
"Kept you from doin' it," Billy says.
The words shock him. Panic floods his throat, clogs his lungs. Now, Steve braces. Now, Steve stiffens.
Billy plants a hand on his chest. His heartbeat flutters like a trapped hummingbird against his palm. He's warm and he's solid. Muscle is building over his breastbone, hard-won from fights with the devil in the Hawkins woods.
"Go get Wheeler, Harrington," Billy says finally, but his voice isn't as hard as he wanted it to be, "I'm gettin' delirious. Don't want me dyin' on your bathroom floor, do you?"
He doesn't push Steve back.
It hurts more, when Steve decides to move away on his own.)
4. No queer shit.
(When he was fourteen, he got a Prince poster.
The man was alluringly handsome, the kinda guy that Billy thought might be the blueprint for the way people thought of angels. He was beautiful and had a voice like heaven and Billy had been so excited to hang it up beside the worn METALLICA poster he'd saved up for when he was ten.
Neil saw the Prince poster, turned beet-red, ripped it apart in front of Billy and then said, "no fairy shit in my house."
He thinks that's when Neil started to suspect.
And then Billy brought a friend over when he was fifteen to do a history project. He must've smiled a bit too big at the boy, because after Trevor went home, Neil had demanded if Billy was -
It wouldn't be the last time Neil Hargrove called Billy a faggot, but it was the first. It made his stomach ache and his teeth itch, made his chest feel like it was crawling back towards his spine. Everything inside him was sticky, and, like always -
Maybe that was the root of it.
Maybe Neil had always Known, had known this was festering inside his only kid, the kid his wife had dumped on him without a second glance back at him or consideration for the fact that she was leaving Billy with the man he'd always thought would be the thing to kill him.
Maybe this was why Neil had formulated the Plans that gave birth to the Rules, the Rules that Billy lived and breathed by, the Rules that kept him skating past seventeen, eighteen, nineteen.
But - how does that saying go?
Make a Plan and God laughs?
Now, see -
Billy doesn't believe in God.
At least, he didn't.
Not until the carefully-laid plans of one Neil Hargrove - the Plans that birthed the Rules, the Rules by which Billy survived, were so shaken by the existence of one Steve Harrington it was suddenly like they'd never been there in the first place.
Steve Harrington, who was so unassuming but had shed the mantle of King so he could fight the things that go bump in the night - the guy with a barbed wire bat in the back of his Beamer and used fucking Farrah Fawcett hairspray, who smelled like cherries and the nice laundry detergent Susan wasn't allowed to buy, who made no sense to Billy but somehow made the world right all at once.
Steve Harrington, who meets Neil Hargrove for the first time when he cocks his fist and sends it careening into Neil Hargrove's clenched jaw.
And, see, Billy didn't believe in God, but Steve might just be living proof of one because as his fists land solidly across Neil's jaw and the man goes reeling, Billy watches the facade of Unconquerable Titan shatter.
Neil Hargrove stumbles back against the kitchen wall, knocking the landline from its cradle. He slumps back, nose bleeding and crooked, lip split and oozing, and Billy suddenly sees the tiny, withered little man that had been hiding underneath the glass armor all this time.
And as the armor dissolves, so too does the Plan. The scaffolding around which Billy has been building the dependence of his own survival topples. The mask slips. The sea climbs into his throat, and Billy Hargrove lets the tears pour down his cheeks.
"You even think," Steve's saying, jabbing a finger towards Neil as he looms over him, "about coming near him again, and I'll make fuckin' sure no one ever finds your fucking body, you get me?"
Neil splutters. Susan stands in the doorway looking small, one white hand over her mouth.
"Did you just threaten me?" And Neil tries to roar it, but his voice breaks. "I'll call the cops! The sheriff!"
And Billy Hargrove is nineteen and he lives under Neil's thumb because if he goes, it'll be Maxine next.
But then Steve is stepping closer and Neil actually whimpers and Billy's wasted nineteen years of his fucking life following the Rules he'd gleaned from hard-earned lessons taught by Neil's fists and now they don't mean shit and it's all been a fucking lie and Steve Harrington shattered the armor and the scaffolding and Billy breathes in sunlight for the first time.
"Yeah," Steve scoffs, suddenly relaxed, hands tucked into his pockets, "you do that. I'm sure Hopper would be super thrilled to finally have an excuse to come visit your ass."
And Billy watches as God laughs and the Plans come tumbling down and he's nineteen and the tears feel so good on his stinging cheeks and then Steve is turning and his hand slides over Billy's back and he's numb as Steve herds him out of the house, as he hears the door shut with a finality to it.
"I'm sorry," Billy blurts, and Steve's brow furrows as he digs out the keys to the Beamer. "What he said - what he called you -"
Steve's expression softens and he shakes his head, hair flopping over his forehead. Billy feels as if his chest is about to explode like the poor fucker in Alien. Then, Steve is leaning his forearms on the Beamer's roof and Billy splays a hand over the passenger window just to keep himself upright.
"You wanna catch a movie?" Steve asks, and Billy's heart makes itself known for the first time at the base of his throat, "just you and me. Heard that new slasher's a bed-wetter."
"You hate slashers," Billy says, feeling about as dumb as he had the day when Steve didn't make him do the gallows walk to the nurse.
"Yeah, but you love 'em." Those brown eyes are more gold in the fading sunlight. "And I sorta, like, love you, so. You're not allowed to laugh at me if I scream, though. And I get to hold your hand. If that's cool, I mean."
And he's seen the crown of the former King Steve emerge before, but all Billy can see is glittering gold when he looks at him.
In one fell swoop, Billy Hargrove breaks every single Rule Neil Hargrove beat into him when he says, "well, I kinda love you, so. I guess it's cool, pretty boy."
Steve grins, and Billy tastes cherries on his tongue.)
260 notes · View notes
ickle-ronniekins · 9 months ago
forever, i choose you
desc: he’s always been everyone’s second choice, in every aspect of his life. george weasley just wants to be someone’s first.
word count: 3.9k
pairing: george weasley x muggle!reader
warning(s): idk you might cry, i sure did but what else is new. loneliness/discussion of sexual content/idk
A/N: i still have no motivation to write and/or read. and it’s the absolute worst. but i wrote the bulk of this story back in december/the beginning of january, and i figured maybe i’d try and write the ending and publish it and see if it’ll spark any inspiration in me. i’m real, real, real sorry if i haven’t gotten to your fics to read (i’ve got them all saved!) i just don’t know what’s wrong with me atm and it’s THE WORST. also it might evoke more emotion if you listen to this while reading this lil fic. thank you, to all of you, for your support and patience, always.
disclaimer: i do not give consent for my work to be posted on ANY other platform.
Seven-year-old George Weasley watched with wide eyes and a goofy grin as his father twirled his mother in the family space of their normally bustling and loud home. But tonight, the Burrow was quiet. Everyone was already sound asleep, his five brothers and his younger sister. George should be too, but he just couldn’t fall asleep no matter how much he tried. He fidgeted uncomfortably in his sheets and kept groaning, and it wasn’t long before his twin brother Fred threw a few pillows at his face, and eventually, George decided to get up and go for a stroll.
He hid strategically on the staircase so his parents wouldn’t see that he was still wide awake at nearly midnight, and he watched as they swayed lightly to the music emitting from somewhere in the house. It was light as a feather, the music, a small piano tune that echoed through the lower level, its sounds traveling effortlessly up the stairs of the home. Mr. Weasley dipped his wife and Mrs. Weasley giggled like some of the young girls George had seen in the village, kind of a nervous giggle, and he watched her blush. He saw his mother placed her head gently on Mr. Weasley’s chest and they both closed their eyes, and George wondered if they were happy to have a moment of peace without their seven children running around causing mayhem.
He wondered if they danced like this every evening, after everyone had already gone to bed.
George noticed a weird sort of feeling in his chest; he wondered why his heart was hurting. Was it because there was something wrong? But then he realized that wasn’t the case, for the aching in his heart came from his pure desire to find exactly what his mum and dad had -- a love like none other, with seven children, a home with multiple stories, and more treacle tarts than one needs.
He vowed in that moment, as he watched his parents from the staircase and tapped his foot quietly in rhythm with the music, that he’d find love like that one day.
He wanted someone to choose him first, just like his parents chose one another.
He brought his hand to his chest, as if to calm his rapidly beating heart, for the sheer idea of finding a love like theirs filled him with such excitement that he was certain he wouldn’t be able to sleep now. Seven-year-old George Weasley laid in bed, ignoring the soft snores from his twin across the room, his eyes wide with wonder as he dreamt of the woman he’d dance with one day.
Twelve-year-old George Weasley wasn’t ready to date. He was only twelve years old! He much preferred to dream.
He knew when he looked at the girl across from him that she wasn’t the one, lovely as she was. He adjusted his Gryffindor tie and cleared his throat and focused on the Potions assignment in front of him. It wasn’t exactly a date, was it? He was in a Potions lesson with his classmates, and Snape. But when the cute blackhaired Hufflepuff approached him and asked if he’d like to work together on the next of Snape’s ridiculous concoctions, Fred poked his brother in the ribs and winked, as if to say, If you don’t partner up with her, you’re a right prat.
And so George did what he thought was gentlemanly and he said yes. He could tell by the rose pink colour that flooded her cheeks that she was smitten with him, and that she’d asked him to be her partner because she was smitten. And he had to admit, she really was quite cute and very, very kind.. and rather smart for her age as well. And he knew that she’d make some man very, very happy someday. It just wouldn’t be him.
He did what was asked of him. He measured out the correct amount of powdered Griffin claw. He made sure he and his partner had enough salamander blood for their strengthening solution. And he smiled back at his partner, though his heart and his mind were still with the girl he’d dance with one day.
The Hufflepuff tried her hardest to capture his heart, but it belonged to someone he had yet to meet.
She wasn’t the one that felt like home.
-- -
Sixteen-year-old George Weasley didn’t understand why all of his classmates wanted to snog people and move onto someone else without so much as a blink.
So many people were pairing off and lasting less than a week before moving onto someone new. George rattled his brain for answers, he searched the eyes of his classmates for explanations, but he couldn’t understand why people would want to hop from one person to another. Didn’t they want to find love, a love that’s long lasting and pushes boundaries and moves mountains and weathers the storms it meets?
But perhaps, he worried, maybe that’s where he was going wrong.
Maybe, in order to find what he truly yearned for, he needed to be reckless and love without really loving.
Maybe he needed to search less, in order to find her.
And so he decided, with much persuasion from Fred, that he’d ask that pretty brunette Ravenclaw to the Yule Ball, and he’d dance and drink firewhisky and maybe he’d even kiss her, if the courage he tried to summon stayed with him throughout the night.
And maybe if he did all those things, he’d forget about the one his heart desperately craved.
And for a little while, he really did forget. Perhaps he could get on board with this “love the one you’re with” mentality. Maybe he could just be in the moment without worrying about everyone else. Maybe he could kiss girls without feeling anything, maybe he could date casually, maybe he could be like everyone else his age and not think about weddings and marriage and having children.
“Georgieee,” the Ravenclaw slurred on the dance floor. She tugged on his tie and pulled him close. He could smell the firewhisky on her breath and his heart began to pound when she pressed her lips lightly to his cheek. “Dance with meeee.”
No, this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted more than this. He’d always wanted more than this.
George begrudgingly agreed and caught Fred’s eye from across the dance floor. The elder twin threaded his brows together and pushed the air with his hands, as if encouraging his younger brother to go for it. The Ravenclaw dazedly draped her arms across George’s shoulders and he sheepishly looked down toward his feet, but didn’t wrap his arms around her.
“George Weasleeeeyyyy,” she slurred again, hiccoughing in between giggles, “I said dance with meeeeeee.”
He tried to fight it, tried not to think of what he always did, but he couldn’t help it.
This girl was not the one. He could tell, because there was no love in the way she said his name. There was no true feeling in the surplus of kisses she kept pressing to his jawline, and there was no warmth radiating from her -- not the kind that mattered, anyway.
He knew, as he placed his hands gently on her waist and swayed with her to the music, that this was not what love felt like. This is not what home felt like.
He danced anyway, even though it was not the kind of dancing he’d seen his parents do all those years ago, and he allowed himself to think about what the rest of his classmates weren’t -- the person he’d hold in his arms, who’d be the mother to his children, who’s kisses would send him spiraling, who’s embraces would become all too familiar in a way that would comfort him in the darkest of times.
He allowed himself again, to dream of true love.
-- -
Seventeen-year-old George Weasley was sick and tired of waiting for the one.
It sounded kind of dramatic in his own head, seeing as he was only seventeen, but he’d known now for ten years exactly what he was looking for, and ten years seemed like a lifetime.
It didn’t help that nearly all of his friends had gotten over their casual dating scene and were now all enthralled with their significant others. He felt so painfully lonely, though he’d never admit it to a soul. He could hardly admit it to himself.
One evening, he shot up from the couch and out of the common room in a fit of fury, for if he had to see Fred and Angelina snogging in the corner for one more minute, he was quite certain he was going to explode from disgust. He was happy for his brother, of course he was, but he didn’t need to see it. Not as often as that.
He found Ron sitting in the Great Hall with Ginny, Harry, and Hermione and plopped beside them all before engaging in exciting rounds of exploding snap. But as the night grew darker and he grew more tired, George noticed the undeniable chemistry between his sister and Harry and his brother and Hermione. Though they all hadn’t admitted to one another how they felt, George had found it obvious, and he politely excused himself before he tugged his jacket rather angrily around his shoulders before he walked out into the winter storm, just to feel the cold air numb his skin.
He walked out of the castle, over toward the owlery, through the treacherous amounts of snow. Anything to distract George from everyone who’d apparently been hit by Cupid’s bloody arrow.
Ever since he was born, it had always been Fred and George. What about George and Fred? Was it because Fred was older? And why were people always lumping them together? Just because they’re twins? George loathed that. They were individuals too. He was always second, in everything.
In getting hand-me-downs from his older brothers. In being referred to with his twin. In lessons when the professors would call out their names for attendance, because F came before G in the alphabet. And even when it came to love; all the girls always seemed to flock to Fred instead, because he was more exciting. More boisterous. Less shy.
The cold, winter air bit violently at his exposed skin, and he reckoned it hurt less than watching everyone around him find someone that chose them, all while he was still waiting for the right person to choose him.
George Weasley didn’t want to be someone’s second choice.
He wanted to be someone’s first.
-- -
Twenty-year-old George Weasley didn’t know how exactly he ended up here.
He didn’t know how he ended up in a relationship three years deep, without having said “I love you” once and actually meaning it.
George thought he might’ve found her, his person, during his seventh year. She was beautiful and kind and everything he thought he’d hoped and dreamt of. Her soft touch, her yearning eyes, the way she curled up next to him in the dormitories late at night and held onto him as she slept -- it was everything, and it seemed to be perfect.
He thought that maybe, perhaps, she was it. But even so, he found himself waiting, still, for that feeling… the one on the staircase he’d felt so long ago.
But the pain of realizing that she wasn’t who he’d been searching for was more heartbreaking than the pain of him asking her to leave.
He’d been looking at her through rose coloured lenses and had been ignoring the truth that was right in front of him.
He should’ve left years ago, when that Gryffindor girl began to make backhanded jokes about the shop, and his dreams of becoming a business entrepreneur, claiming that she was only joking around.
He should’ve left when that girl showed up late to the grand opening of their shop, nearly a year into their relationship.
He should’ve left when he held her in his arms, and still didn’t feel comfortable beside her.
His heart ached for it, what he’d felt on the staircase at the mere age of seven. And perhaps he’d become so desperate for it, that he took something disguised as true love.
But the truth was that he knew, deep in his soul, that this Gryffindor girl wasn’t the one. He’d just chosen, outright, to ignore it. Perhaps if he could forget that idea that “the one” would smack him square in the face with an overwhelming sensation of knowing, he could have learned to love her, even when he hadn’t had that smack in the face moment when he’d met her all those years ago.
But it hadn’t happened, had it? He hadn’t grown to love her. Not truly, anyway. And she hadn’t grown to love him. Not in the way he wanted to be loved, at least.
Because it was more than just heated kisses and lazy days in bed and all things physical that he wanted.
It was about love. Pure, blinding, unadulterated love.
He stood frozen solid in the middle of his tiny flat and watched as that Gryffindor girl grabbed her coat off of the hanger and raised her hand slightly before slipping silently into the dimly lit hallway for the very last time. And George poured himself a glass of bourbon and sat near the window, looking up at the stars, expecting to feel sad at her departure, but in fact, he didn’t feel sad at all.
He felt hopeful.
He hadn’t found the one yet, but he knew she was out there, getting to him as fast as she possibly could.
Though his brothers had urged him to come to the pub and meet someone else, George didn’t fancy the idea of doing that. He was over that entire scene, just as he was in school when everyone was pairing off and moving on immediately. He didn’t want something fleeting, and he didn’t want something meaningless.
He wanted something true.
-- -
Twenty-three-year old George Weasley was certain that he was never going to find that feeling ever again, for as long as he lived.
While all of his friends were out at the pubs, meeting people and fooling around as if feelings weren’t involved, George was walking aimlessly through the streets to work. He was constantly dealing with the haze above his head, waiting for it to lift. He was turning down girls left and right and ignoring his brothers’ insistence on dating casually again.
He didn’t want to waste any more of his time on people who weren’t going to reach out and trace circles onto his chest in the middle of the night, or who weren’t going to dance around the kitchen in his clothes while cooking dinner, or who weren’t going to look at him with eyes so tender, it would render him useless for days to come.
He’d been waiting sixteen years to find his person, the one who would choose him everyday over everyone else, and in hindsight it didn’t quite seem like a long time. But as he cried silently to himself every few nights in bed, feeling the empty space next to him and yearning for the one who was meant to be there, sixteen years felt like a lifetime.
He thought for a long while, that maybe she was in another country, or maybe she was an auror or something, fighting her way through the monsters of the wizarding world.
He’d thought for a bit that perhaps he just hadn’t met her yet.
But as the days dragged on and he found himself lost in crowds, searching face after face, looking for hers, he truly felt as though all hope was lost.
And so George paced back and forth in the kitchen of his flat, biting at his nails and pouring himself hefty glasses of wine, keen on ignoring everyone’s attempts at getting him to come out.
Maybe this was what he deserved.
Maybe because he wasn’t out there, sleeping with people whose names he wouldn’t remember come morning like everyone else, he was just going to be alone.
Maybe there really wasn’t someone out there for him. Maybe not everyone finds true love. Maybe his parents had just gotten lucky.
The dull ache in George’s heart grew stronger, and for the upteenth night in a row, he laid in bed and gripped the covers and cried himself to sleep, his tears sliding down his cheeks the same way the evening rain slid down the window terrace.
-- -
Twenty-four-year old George Weasley stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he felt it.
That feeling. The one from the staircase as he watched his parents dance, all those years ago.
Heart pounding, chest rising, hands freezing.
It hit him square in the chest without warning, nearly knocking him over though his feet were rooted into the ground at the spot, smack dab in the middle of that cafe in the middle of London.
Someone was playing a slow, soft piano tune coming from the other end. People were filtering in and out, asking the man in front of them what exactly he was staring at and why he wasn’t moving. But George Weasley stood where he was, not taking his eyes off of you.
You were reading furiously, flipping through pages of a book gripped tightly in your hands, as though you couldn’t devour the plot fast enough. George watched with admiration as a gentle smile tugged at your lips, as your eyes scanned the words quickly, as you tapped your foot on the ground, in rhythm with that slow piano.
He watched with dazed eyes and parted lips as you finished the end of your book. You dabbed your eyes with a tissue and clutched the book tightly to your chest, overwhelmed, clearly, by the end of the plot. George’s heart soared so high at your passion that he found himself struggling to hold back the I love you that was pressing behind his lips.
You immediately took a long sip of your tea and placed your finished book back into your bag, only to pull out another and immediately immerse yourself in the next story. George laughed to himself, stunned that you were so intent on falling into someone else’s storyline, if only for a little while, that you hadn’t dared take a break from one book to the next. You merely jumped right in.
He wondered if his overwhelming feelings called out to you like a signal of sorts, because just as he was working up the courage to walk over to you, you looked up. You searched the room for a moment before meeting his gaze and suddenly, the world around you both stopped.
George found himself wanting to know everything about you. He itched to devour up any and all information you’d be so kind to provide to him -- your name, your favorite color, your birthday. He wanted to know what book you’d just been reading, and what about it had moved you so much to the point of tears. He wanted to know everything, but deep in his soul, he also knew that he’d have years to learn it all.
In fact, he’d have the rest of forever.
Your eyes went soft and George began to feel the steady pounding of his heart increase, and to his amazement, he noticed a gentle smile tug at the edges of your lips.
And he smiled back.
He’d been right all along. That feeling of finding the one would smack him square in the face. He wondered, as he peered at you now, biting down on your bottom lip and looking toward the ground, why he’d ever doubted himself in the first place. And he wondered when you looked back up at him once again and raised a hand to say hello, if you’d been smacked in the face with that feeling too, just like he had.
He resisted the urge to pour his heart out to you, right here and right now. He’d have time.
Perhaps today was just about having today, and recognizing that you were everything he’d been looking for since that evening on the staircase.
He’d tell you this one day.
-- -
“And what does… Lumox mean again?”
George laughed and squeezed your hands. “You mean, Lumos?”
You bit your lip in embarrassment and laughed, too. “Yes! Lumos. That’s the one that produces light, right?”
George brought your hands to his lips and kissed them gently. You two were seated inside a bustling restaurant in Diagon Alley, and he wondered if people passing by realized just how cozy you two looked together. “You’re more brilliant than most witches I know.”
You cocked your head to the side with an air of confidence and batted your eyelashes at him. “What can I say, Georgie? I may have been born a… Mugglie… but maybe I was meant to be a witch.”
George had to bite down on his lip to keep from laughing. He couldn’t get over how painfully adorable you were as you attempted to pronounce these wizarding words and learn spells and charms and things as he taught you all things about the wizarding world. You took his wand and pointed it at your wine glass, pretending to transfigure it. You couldn’t, of course, since you weren’t a magical being. But George didn’t mind. He could watch you pretend all day long.
In all his years of studying magic, he’d never felt anything quite like this.
BONUS, just because i hate feeling sad asf:
Thirty-two-year old George Weasley rocked his redheaded daughter back and forth in his arms, until he was certain that she was sound asleep again -- her mouth open wide as she began to snore softly when he placed her back into her crib.
He peered up at the clock on the wall and blinked a few times before 4:32 a.m. came into focus. Exhausted, he made his way back into his room before sliding into bed.
And there it was again. That feeling.
You turned over in bed to face him, squinting in the darkness as your eyes adjusted to the scene unfolding before you. Groggily, you reached out and traced your fingers across his jawline. His heart nearly stopped. “Is she alright?” you asked sleepily.
George grinned softly and leant forward before pressing a kiss to your forehead. He whispered, “She’s alright. Go back to sleep.”
Though your eyes were already shut, you reached out again and took his hand in yours before bringing your lips gently to his fingers. “Okay.. I love you.. G’night..”
But you were asleep again before George could respond, so instead he pulled you closely to him and began to gently trace circles on your bare shoulders. He breathed in the smell of your shampoo, and listened intently for the beating of your heart that had fallen into sync with his.
Tears pushed at the edges of his eyes, but he slowed his breathing and reminded himself, again, that there was no longer an empty space beside him in bed.
Maybe he shouldn’t have ever given up hope, but perhaps giving up hope was what made finding you so much sweeter.
If only he could tell seven-year-old George what he’d find when the time was right.
And in the darkness, as the rain pattered on the rooftop of his house and he felt your embrace tighten around his body, he whispered into the silence, “I love you, too.”
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oneoftheprettynerds · 9 months ago
Welcome To The Darkside: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)
Chapter 1 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series
A/N: I just posted a story I know but I’m in love with this idea right now and this is my favourite fic right now. It’s going to be a three or four part fic I think and your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Here is a piece of my heart right here.
Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, sort of Blood Kink I think, Cheap Tricks later.
Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.
Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.
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Chapter 1 : Welcome to The Darkside
The gunshots around you frightened you more than anything in your life ever had. The merry, joyful ambience of the carnival was ruined in an instant. Screams around you provoked your panic-stricken form to gather your wits and run or hide. It wasn’t just you caught up in this dreadful situation, there was also someone you’d protect at any cost.
Picking your daughter up and setting her on your hip, you looked around for the way out. Who would have thought that open grounds were hard to get out of? Another wave of terror ran through you when the gunshots audibly neared and the crowd ran in random directions.
You decided to go along the way you recognised the games and shops at. You ran as fast as you could, checking on Grace in between to find her looking curiously all around but still more intent on eating her cotton candy than inspecting. You couldn’t be more thankful for kids' oblivion than at that moment in time.
A bomb explosion up ahead in your path made you halt in your tracks because you knew some of the attackers were scouting there. Turning back wasn’t an option, neither was crying and you were sure you closer to the exit this way. Another blast behind you took away the option of you retracing your path. You weren’t considering it but it gave you little comfort to have your options open.
As the shrieks and screeches grew tenfold, your best bet was to hide, the assaulters had already surrounded the field, the chaos around you informed you. Jumping through innumerable dead bodies, of kids and adults that ached your heart, and dodging bullets while laying low, you went inside a photo booth to hide.
This will not be in vain; you’d protect Grace no matter what.
The curtain to the photo booth provided cover from predatory eyes while the rest of the metal booth was quite safe against bullets you concluded hopefully.
You were just looking for a weapon to prepare for any adversity that might come your way, when the sound of crunching of pebbles made their way to your ears.
Failing to find a weapon in few seconds you opted to attack the intruder yourself when a voice reached your ears, “Mama?”
You puzzled your eyebrows and lowered your defences by just a bit when a toddler stumbled inside the booth, blonde haired and blue eyed. You were definitely not this girl’s mama but you grabbed the kid’s forearm and pulled her inside, shushing her gently and seating her beside Grace on the sitting bench inside. You were thankful Grace entertained her by offering her the pink cloud of sweetness.
You peeked outside but failed to find anyone else in 20 metre radii of you, nobody resembling the wandering kid nor looking for one. You did not know what you would do with another kid in your hands in this dire situation nor was it a wise decision to bring her inside and take her under your wing but you did not have it in you to leave an unsuspecting child, a mere four or three-year-old at that, during a calamity so extreme.
Your maternal instincts governed your thought process, imagining Grace to be in her shoes, all alone and discarded while a possible terrorist attack was happening. The kids’ corpses lying outside gave you no doubt that these children’s fate would be the same if found by the attackers.
A small tug in your dress made you look back and you found the azure eyed kid at your feet, offering you the street food you bought earlier while hugging your leg and observing you. Grace munched in the back silently, still happily eating and unaware.
You kneeled and whispered, “What’s your name, honey?” Maybe the girl understood the urgency, maybe she was just mimicking you but even she murmured in a low voice, “Sarah.”
You nodded, “Sweetie, I need you to sit there quietly and make no sounds, okay? We are playing a staying quiet game.” That was a stupid thing to ask of a kid but you hoped, you really, really hoped she would comply.
Her eyes widened in recognition of something as she eagerly asked, still in a hushed mumble, “Like I does for Dada in meekings?”
“Yes, you smart kiddo. Exactly that.” You replied with what you hoped was a convincing smile and ruffled her hair while nudging her towards her former seat. With kids, you knew a little encouragement went a long way to get them to do things. She whispered an ‘okay Mama’ and went about and sat.
You didn’t get to enjoy her obedience as the thud of pebbles crunching met your ears again. Your breath hitched; your intuition told you that this was not another kid confusing you for its parent.
Your eyes found a discarded piece of metal rod from the booth’s wrecked framework. You grabbed and hoped for the best, to save both the kids at your ability’s mercy.
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Steve only saw red. The moment the first shot sounded in the air, he knew whom the assailants were, whom they were coming for. Going out tonight was a bad idea, a really reckless one indeed but when his daughter started bawling seeing the carnival’s lights from the car and wanted to get up and close, he couldn’t say no. He really tried to though, he really did.
It hadn’t been even a year since his wife died, but the father-daughter duo was getting by. He knew his wife took his daughter to the carnival and bought her things, toys and teddies, on every birthday of her own. It was a ritual his wife started, spending her birthday with her little offspring during the daylight and going out for a romantic dinner at the end of the day with her dear spouse. If only things could still be that way, could still stay the same.
When his wife turned out to be an elaborate spy all along, he was baffled. His professional side was, dare he say, impressed by the commitment to character but his personal side was beyond disappointed, disheartened in the worst way because his daughter was his most precious asset in this cruel world and that gift was given by such a treacherous person.
She begged and pled for mercy, to let Sarah have her mother and swore on her life that she quit her espionage journey when she actually fell in love but Steve didn’t trust a single syllable out of her filthy, deceiving mouth, not anymore.
He didn’t kill her though, because Sarah was his first priority no matter what. Her assassination was the work of his rival mob, ‘The Vice Kings’ led by the bastard Rumlow. It was an open invitation for war in the city, for them money came first and useless people had to die. They killed two birds with a single stone, git rid of a useless former member and successfully made a statement.
Then began the still happening rivalry between those Vices and his mob, ‘The Avenging Cartel’. The wound from his wife’s assassination was still fresh, he didn’t miss her as much as he had taken the hit to his pride. There had been a peaceful agreement until the brutal maiming of his spouse and now he was working more than ever, barely able to make time for his princess and that was his only regret, missing her childhood.
And now he felt more futile, his palette of emotions ranging from hues of ire to shades of dread. He couldn’t believe his entourage of trained professionals failed to monitor a two-year-old. He had just stepped aside to take a call, leaving her with his latest driver and three bodyguards. How could he be that clueless to not realise the imposters infiltrating his ranks, standing right there and selling away his location?
As soon as the sound of the first firearm shooting reached his ears, he leapt towards his daughter only to find her missing. His little minx thankfully escaped for one of her little adventures and successfully evaded these cheats, whom he shot right in the middle of the eyes when he glanced at the grenades packing in the coats’ undersides.
His moment of gratitude evaporated in mere seconds as he realised that the Vices now surrounded the entire area, their mission being his daughter’s abduction. If they wanted to kill both of them, they would have already, considering Steve’s distraction gave them quite too many openings. They wanted him to surrender, because mobs worked that way; only when one leader signed off his territories did it become the other party’s possession. If they just cut one head, another would grow in its place, a new leader would succeed the predecessor.
He sent emergency signals to both Barnes and Wilson, the only ones he could trust right now, summoning them with back-ups. The screams of the crowd did not ease him at all, piling on his burden and stress as he prayed for the first time ever, that by some miracle he would reach his daughter first in this field and she would safely be in his arms by the end of the night, not become a victim to what his enemies were planning.
He did have a tracker in her pendant but this realisation hit him later than he’d like to admit, the frustration clawing away his wits. The ground was now quite empty, piles of bodies scattered across the field abruptly where people became victims to the grenades, any person who failed to protect themselves, died. As he was pulling his phone out again, his eyes caught sight a flower bead. The same bead he and his daughter used to make a bracelet a month ago. She wore that everywhere, to day-care, while bathing, to birthdays.
The bracelet was obviously broken now but it was almost like a trail that led to his treasure, like in the Hansel and Gretel’s fairy-tale that Sarah loved. He followed with quiet steps, the beads far apart and some resting under the debris but they sure did lead him somewhere, and when he found the even the pendant in his path, he knew he had only the few beads to rely on.
Some thumps and crashes made him alert, his pistol ready, and when he neared carefully to a distorted metal framework of sorts, his eyes widened.
A young woman had a body in front of her lying on the ground. In a pool of scarlet it rested, still and unmoving while her breathing quickened, her eyes shining with tears that she tried too damn hard to confine to her eyes. He knew how hard the first kill always was, but one grows numb with increase in body count.
Brave women were his type and he would have been turned on by her courage, her hands stained red with whatever weapon she attacked with. Her soft facial features and her curves in the dress she wore were a show stopper for sure, and he would’ve been flirting with her if it was not for the brutal severity of the situation, his daughter missing and in possible danger.
His vigilant senses, courtesy of the epinephrin, picked up two things; the butterfly bead that rested in the door of the booth the woman stood at and the creep shadowing her from behind, ready to attack with a baseball bat he might have found in one of the other game shops.
Steve used his position behind the neighbouring booth to make a bull’s eye shot, the bullet going just an inch above the female’s shoulder and going across the creep’s head. The logo on the corpse’s leather jacket showed Steve he picked the right side to defend.
The sheer suddenness of the move caught the woman off guard as she dropped her weapon and twisted back to find the soulless eyes of her possible attacker staring at her. She quickly armed herself with her attacking rod once again and tried to trace the bullet back from its shooter, her eyes wide and calculating.
Steve decided it was time to interrogate, to find Sarah.
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The graze of the bullet above your shoulder alarmed you and you stood dumbfounded only for an instant though. You were sure the bullet was meant for you but the thud of a body behind you, seemingly preparing to attack you proved you wrong.
Calming yourself, you still stood on the ball, because someone killing your attacker didn’t necessarily mean you were safe. With just a pull of the trigger, your fate could very easily be the same. You had to play this smart.
“Lower your weapon. I won’t repeat myself.” A husky voice called out, laced with seriousness which left no room for argument.
You did as he said, knowing that shabby rod was no match against the gun. He stepped out from his hiding position and gave away his location, steps slightly treading towards you. Your hands trembled, heart thumping a bit too loud while blood and sweat coated your frame.
When moonlight lightened his face, you saw his blonde luscious locks, slightly overgrown, a neatly trimmed beard darker than his hair and the cerulean blue eyes that were clear as crystal but shadowed with proficiency.
“Good, now did you see a kid around here? Blonde and blue eyes?”
His question didn’t surprise you, the gun barrel trained on you did. The previous man you had killed, that laid dead ahead of you had asked the same question. You did not know why they were after the toddler nor did you have the time to dwell on it. Time was of the essence now and he was expecting an answer.
The fact that he saved an unsuspecting lady was a plus point, but you also had to consider that he was threatening you all the same. But if that was his kid, it was understood, the resemblance between them was uncanny but that wasn’t enough proof. However, as your flickered to the man you killed, you noticed the logo on his jacket was the same as the one on your possible murderer’s jacket. It still wasn’t enough evidence but you had no choice, the man had a gun and you had two kids relying on you. At least he wasn’t on the bombing side.
“Yes, what is she to you?” You tried to be brave but you were sure he saw right through you.
“You don’t ask the questions here but this one I’ll answer. She is my daughter. Now, where is she?”  
“How do I know you’re not lying? I can’t just and her over to you!”
“Her name is Sarah; she is my carbon copy. She is wearing a pink dress with white flowers; pink crocs and her hair is in a ponytail with a white scrunchy. She had two white clips in her hair beside the ponytail. Enough proof?”
No, you could be a creepy paedophile for all I know.
You were still contemplating when he spoke again, “She’s my daughter and I know she’s in that booth beside you. I appreciate you trying to protect her I think but she’ll respond to me calling her. Sarah?”
The little toddler poked her head out, her eyes brightening in recognition and you heaved a sigh of relief involuntarily. Your maternal instinct made you anxious for kids you barely even knew. She ran towards her father shouting ‘Dada’ and jumped into his arms while he hid his gun. You almost snorted at that, tons of dead bodies surrounding you and he was worried about the gun?
He propped her up, hugging her tightly, and with what you knew now, he was scared to death and rightfully so.
Grace poked her head out and ran towards you now, hugging you from behind your legs and silently peeking at the mysterious human. You held Grace’s hand now, intertwining your fingers and felt relief after long. Even though there was no knowing that the man would help you two but you gave yourself comfort you weren’t alone here, not anymore.
Sarah turned and met your eyes again and whispered lowly, “Oops Mama, I think the games over! Sowwy!”
Steve’s eyes widened at that and you laughed at her innocence, feeling light. You played along with the kid, “It’s alright.” You didn’t want to play ‘Mommy’ anymore after that thinking it would offend her father but even, he chuckled, his laugh beautiful and boisterous.
Suddenly men dressed in black and armed with weapons ran about, skidding and crossing you to survey the area out. You shielded Grace once again but the father ahead of you didn’t even flinch. Noticing your unease, he came closer and put a hand on you arm, “I’m Steve and don’t worry, these are my men, the good guys.”
You nodded, not agreeing with his idea of good and bad but since you hoped he did acknowledge that he owed you one, you hoped none of these men would attack you. You introduced yourself and he nodded.
With Sarah on his hip, he started following one of his men and you followed along hoping to get to the exit. He even asked to drop you home but you refused, just wanting to get to the parking and put all these guns out of your kid’s sight. He tsked over his shoulder and you knew he would insist again later but for now he listened intently to the man he addressed as Buck.  
This Buck eyed you several times, not so discreetly, while Steve renounced the whole incident of some spies and whatnot. You closed your eyes, not wanting to eavesdrop and just wanting to relax but you could do neither right now. They were after Sarah; you had presumed right.
Sarah made grabby hands from over Steve’s shoulder while Grace slept soundly in your arms, maybe jealous of her. She pouted and then slowly began her lower lip began to tremble. A whine escaped her mouth as she started bawling. Steve stopped to shush her but she continued screeching, “I miss Mama!” and tried to get away from Steve and jump into your arms. Buck looked surprised while Steve’s eyes pleaded yours and you nodded and gave Grace to her and took Sarah in your arms, gently shushing her and patting her back. She drooled in the crook of your neck but that was nothing new and quietened down. You didn’t want to give Grace away but you couldn’t see another child so miserable, not when you had one of your own.
Steve and ‘Buck’ observed you, not saying anything so you broke the silence. “I’m sorry she confuses me with her mother, I hope she doesn’t get offended by this.”
“She’s no more.” Steve looked down and you cursed yourself for breaking the silence, make the situation more awkward and unbearable.
“I’m sorry.” Well that was better than joking about how Grace didn’t have a father either.
“Don’t be, she deserved what she got.” Steve mumbled and continued walking with ‘Buck’, lightly patting Grace and kissing her forehead.
The peck should have bothered you but you were too engrossed by his words to eavesdrop further or check on Grace. What did he mean she deserved it? You didn’t even want to think of the probability of him killing her. With all the soldiers that surrounded you, you suddenly realised he was capable of more than you thought and you felt stupid for feeling safe with him when you did. He was a leader of sorts, a person with unimaginable power and you had dived headfirst in the kind of things you should avoid at all costs. Even though you hadn't crossed him or weren't on his bad side, getting involved was a mistake.
You learnt this lesson the hard way soon enough.
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bloody-bee-tea · a month ago
I'm sure someone has already suggested this but "I never feel like this grumpy asshole when you're around. I feel like... me. the real me... " from the grump/sunshine prompts for mingcheng?
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Nie Mingjue knows that there’s something weighing on Jiang Cheng’s mind because he can see all the signs.
He had to read a lot of them in the beginning of their relationship—Jiang Cheng perpetually unsure and insecure—but he thought they had grown out of it. Had hoped so, really, but apparently not.
Because right now Jiang Cheng is staying uncharacteristically quiet during dinners, flinches when Nie Mingjue tries to touch him and he can’t meet his eyes for longer than a few seconds.
And it hurts Nie Mingjue to see.
He doesn’t know what caused this—though a treacherous part of his brain tells him that Jiang Cheng is finally fed up with him—and he’s not sure if he can ask. It doesn’t seem like Jiang Cheng is ready to share yet, and pushing him right now would probably only make it worse.
Instead he decides to wait it out for now; Jiang Cheng usually either breaks and tells him or he goes back to normal without saying anything, whatever issue apparently internally solved.
It used to work pretty well like that in the past, and Nie Mingjue is willing to go back to that no matter if it breaks his heart to see Jiang Cheng flinch when he reaches for him or not.
But when it continues like this for over a week—longer than anything ever really has—he decides that he has to say something.
It’s starting to seriously affect their relationship and Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to risk it. He needs to know, if only so that he can put Jiang Cheng’s mind at ease.
Nie Mingjue tries to ignore the little voice in his head that tells him that Jiang Cheng finally has had enough, that he’s going to break up with him like he should have done a thousand times over because if that is the case, then so be it.
He loves Jiang Cheng too much to keep him trapped in something that makes him unhappy.
“My heart, what’s wrong?” he asks one day over dinner, that they yet again spent in complete silence as Jiang Cheng pushed his food around the plate.
“Why does anything have to be wrong?” Jiang Cheng snaps out and that too, only shows that something is wrong.
Jiang Cheng stopped snapping at him with such malice a long time ago.
Sure, he still snaps and he’s still mean sometimes, but never like this. Nie Mingjue can’t accurately explain it, has never found the right words for it, but the way Jiang Cheng snaps at him is different than the way he snaps at people he genuinely thinks to be stupid, even though not many other people can see it.
“Because you’re acting strange. You’re not acting like yourself,” Nie Mingjue gives back, not rising to the obvious bait, and it only makes Jiang Cheng angrier.
“What do you know?” he hisses, but Nie Mingjue meets his gaze evenly.
“Yeah, right. What do I know after almost three years of relationship, after knowing you for at least seven years. How could I ever possibly know that you’re not acting like yourself right now. How stupid of me,” Nie Mingjue tells him and he watches as genuine regret flashes over Jiang Cheng’s face.
“I’m not—”
“Just tell me if you’re not ready to talk to me yet, but don’t pretend that I don’t notice these things about you,” Nie Mingjue tells him as he gets up to clear the table.
It seems like neither of them are going to continue eating at this point so what’s the use in pretending.
Nie Mingjue busies himself with putting the dishes away but he keeps an ear out for Jiang Cheng, who doesn’t seem to be doing anything besides sitting at the table.
It isn’t until all the dishes are put away, that Nie Mingjue rests his hands on the counter and drops his head.
“I know that you’re not angry with me, not really, but whatever it is it’s eating away at you and I guess I just want to—if you’re going to break up with me, just tell me, alright?” Nie Mingjue whispers, not able to meet Jiang Cheng’s eyes over that.
“Why would I break up with you?” Jiang Cheng asks him and he sounds genuinely confused, so Nie Mingjue dares to hope that he’s not going to do that.
“You’re avoiding me; my touch, my eyes. You’re not even talking to me over dinner anymore; I miss your rants about work,” Nie Mingjue huffs out with a small laugh. “I don’t know what to think.”
There’s a long silence in the kitchen, one that worries Nie Mingjue more than anything before, but then he can hear Jiang Cheng standing up, his chair scrapping along the floor and before Nie Mingjue can snap at him to properly lift the chair Jiang Cheng wraps his arms around his middle.
He presses close, presses his face right into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder and then he just breathes there for a moment.
Nie Mingjue dares to think that they will be alright.
“You don’t have to tell me yet, if you’re not ready,” Nie Mingjue tells him again, trying to reassure Jiang Cheng that he’s not going to pressure him over this, but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.
“I think I do,” he whispers. “But—don’t turn around? Can I tell you like this?” he then asks and Nie Mingjue puts his hand over Jiang Cheng’s on his stomach.
“Of course. Whatever makes you comfortable, my heart.”
“I really don’t deserve you,” Jiang Cheng whispers but before Nie Mingjue can argue with him over that he goes on. “I know what you’re going to say, but you can stuff it,” he says and Nie Mingjue laughs.
“Alright, I won’t say it. Just—you say whatever it is you have to say.”
Nie Mingjue feels put at ease already, because if Jiang Cheng would be breaking up with him, he certainly wouldn’t hold him like that, so that worry is almost immediately put to rest.
“I love you,” is what Jiang Cheng starts with and that alone is almost enough to make Nie Mingjue turn around and kiss the living hell right out of Jiang Cheng.
“I love you, too.”
“No, shhhh,” Jiang Cheng immediately complaints, though Nie Mingjue can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re not allowed to interrupt me.”
“Okay, no more interruptions from now on,” Nie Mingjue promises as he laces their fingers together, squeezing Jiang Cheng’s hand for emphasis.
“Good. Now, listen. I’m just—I love you so much and I still don’t know how I got this lucky, but being with you feels right,” Jiang Cheng starts, and he sounds unsure, still, as if he’s looking for the right words.
“I know I’m brash and angry and hard, because that’s what everyone keeps telling me, but when I’m with you, I never feel like this grumpy asshole. I feel like—me. The real me, the one no one wants to see. The one who laughs himself sick at puppy videos and who cries over stupid romance movies and who snaps for the sake of snapping and not because I’m actually angry. It feels like we’re on one wavelength, because I know you do some things no one knows about you as well when you’re around me and I will forever be grateful that we simply can be like this around each other. That you don’t hold it against me when I have a bad day, or when work left me drained or when I want to put too much sugar into my coffee.”
Well, Nie Mingjue is not going to argue any of those points, because while he doesn’t cry about stupid romance movies, he damn well cries when Jiang Cheng tells him things like this.
And it’s about as much as Nie Mingjue can take as well, because he spins around in Jiang Cheng’s arms, not caring what he promised before, because he needs to look at him right now.
Marry me, he wants to say, because that is the only possible answer to a speech like this, but before the words can leave his mouth, Jiang Cheng slaps a hand over it.
“No,” he scolds him. “You said you wouldn’t turn around and you damn well don’t get to speak before I say so, understood?” he snaps and Nie Mingjue nods obediently, though he’s pretty sure Jiang Cheng can tell what he wants to ask.
“You’re it for me, Mingjue, because I never felt at ease or at home like this with anyone else, and there’s no way you’re getting out of this, do you understand me? I’m not letting you go ever again,” Jiang Cheng says and uses his free hand to pull a ring out of his pocket.
“This wasn’t how I wanted to propose, and I didn’t have my speech ready, but it is what it is, I suppose. And I’m also not going to ask you, because you don’t get a say in this. You’re stuck with me, and it’s your own fault, because you didn’t let me push you away in the beginning and now I’m going to stick like glue to you for the rest of your lives.”
Nie Mingjue can’t help it, the tears just flow faster, and even though Jiang Cheng didn’t ask him, he still has to say yes. He taps Jiang Cheng’s hand, urging him to take it away, and after one glare Jiang Cheng does.
“You’re an idiot if you think I’m ever letting you go again,” is what Nie Mingjue says the moment Jiang Cheng’s hand leaves his mouth and then he pulls him into a kiss.
It’s way better to agree to an engagement like this than simply saying yes anyway.
Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!
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jawritter · 5 months ago
You’re My Everything
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Requested by: @sexyvixen7 on tumblr Request HERE. 
Summary: The whole world seems to think Y/N isn't a good fit for her true mate, Jensen Ackles, and even goes as far as to say their relationship is a shame online. Jensen shows her just how wrong they all are.
Written for: @spnabobingo & @spnkinkbingo
spnabobingo Square Field: Cinnamon/Cardamom/ Cloves
spnkinkbingo Square Field: Saxx
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Plus Sized Omega!Reader
Word Count: 2135
Dividers by: @firefily-graphics
Warnings: Cyberbullying, Anti Blogs, Self Conscious Reader, Protective Jensen, Language, ABO Dynamics, Smut, Unprotected Smut, Knotting, Claiming, Mating, Mentions of True Mates. I think that's about it.
A/N: This my first request fill in a long time on tumblr! I hope you all enjoy it! This fic is completely unbeta'd, so as always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Enjoy!
Masterlist  My Patreon
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Y/N slammed the laptop in front of her shut with enough force that she flinched after she did it, and quickly checked that she didn’t crack the screen before breathing a sigh of relief that the screen was okay, and closed the device a little more carefully than a few moments ago.
It had not been the best day in the world for her. On top of the writer’s block she’d been fighting for the past week, now this? Even though she knew she needed to get more work done, and people were going to be mad that she was late turning in the next instalment to her series to the publisher, she’d also been caught up in her own self-esteem issues, and that wasn’t helping her mood nor her writer’s block; neither did the nasty comments that awaited her as soon as she opened her social media today.
She knew she shouldn’t have let it get to her, those mean comments people were making about her online since Jensen had decided to make their relationship public. I mean, it wasn’t something that would have been easy to hide even if he wanted to. He had to turn it into the studio that he’d recently mated to get the allotted time afforded to the newly mated couple for bonding purposes. So people were going to find out, no matter what.
She expected the mean comments really, she wasn’t someone anyone would take a first glance at and think that she was Jensen’s true mate. She was everything in her mind that they had said she was. Overweight was a given, I mean, come on, she owned a mirror, she knew she was plus sized, but it wasn’t something she could control.
They had gone as far as making a hateful hashtag calling her #jensensbeachedwale on twitter. Even when they went out to dinner last night, the waitresses were whispering about her, and even going as far as to openly flirt with her Alpha, even though she had a fresh claiming mark on her neck like she wasn’t even there at all.
To top it all off this evening, as soon as she logged onto the computer to check her email while her Alpha was in the shower, she had stumbled across the unsettling fact that they had gone as far as to create “anti blogs” about her on a blogger site she was familiar with. They made fun of everything from her hair to her weight. Saying every insecurity she had ever bottled up to herself out loud for all to read, and even making pictures as “evidence” that there was no way she was Jensen’s true mate, and that it had to be an arrangement or some sort or just fake all together.
Every word they said there cut deep, and that’s why she’d slammed her laptop closed, and was now sitting alone in the dark living room of their condo they were staying in while Jensen was filming in Canada, trying not to cry.
“Omega?” Jensen called, coming out of the bathroom door in nothing but a pair of Saxx and a towel draped over his head. “Are you okay, I heard a noise -”
As soon as Jensen laid eyes on, and caught the distress in her scent, he was at her side on the couch pulling her into him protectively, the Alpha quickly surfacing to protect his new Omega, towel left forgotten in the middle of the floor.
“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
She tucked her head into his neck, breathing in the comforting scent of cinnamon, cardamom, and cloves and something that was just uniquely Jensen, her Alpha, his very scent alone doing wonders to help calm her anxiety, and combined with the warmth of his skin pressed against her own, it was like he could calm any storm she had going on inside of her, no matter how treacherous it seemed.
“It’s nothing Jay,” she did her best to shove it off, not wanting Jensen to see her moment of weakness because she was afraid if he saw her the way they did, then he’d reject her, and she knew there would be no surviving that.
“You’re lying Y/N, I can sense it, I can literally feel it, something is wrong, now tell me what it is Omega, so that I can fix it.”
Y/N took a deep breath, Dammit, she should have known that the bond would give her away. That he would be able to pick out her destress no matter how much she’d tried to downplay it.
“I just let what other people are saying to get me about us, that’s all.”
Jensen’s eyes narrowed. Looking at her with confusion. Jensen barely got online, so he’d apparently never seen anything that was going on.
“Who’s saying things about us?” he questioned, straightening his shoulders and a low growl rumbling deep down in his chest, but not quite yet making it to the surface.
With a defeated sigh, Y/N reached over to the coffee table in front of her, and grabbed her phone, opening it up to one of the nastier, meaner, anti blogs and showing it to him.
She watched as Jensen’s expression passed from confusion, to absolute fury, to the point he was trembling.
“What right do these fucking people think that they have to say shit like this?” he questioned, his grip tightening on her phone, which she snatched away from him to keep him from breaking it half.
“I mean, they’re not wrong Jensen,” she admits shyly, attempting to shift away from him and failing as his grip tightened around her.
“Uh, yes they fucking are,” Jensen quickly corrected, placing a hand on the side of her face and forcing her to look at him. “They’re so fucking wrong.”
“Y/N, you’re my true mate. I finally found you, after all this time I thought it just didn’t exist for me, and then I walked to into Starbucks and there you fucking where, sitting at that little table like you were waiting for me.”
Jensen whined as he pulled her closer to him, kissing her deeply for a moment before leaning his forehead against hers. It hurt him that these virtual strangers, faceless bullies that were hiding behind the safety of their computers took it upon themselves to attack his Omega. His true mate. The person he’d gladly die for.
Jensen suddenly reached for his phone, keeping his protective hold on his Omega as he pulled open his Instagram app.
“Alpha,” you protested, trying to unsuccessfully grab his phone away from him, “you don’t even have a shirt on!”
“I don’t care,” he answered simply before starting a live video, waiting in silence for a moment as the numbers climbed with a host of “hey Jensen,” and “we love you” comments flying with hearts along with a few other remarks about his shirtless state she didn’t really take the time to read.
“Really, you all say you love me, but honestly, I don’t really feel the love right now,” Jensen said to the screen as his jade eyes traveled over the comments flying in front of him.
“Some ‘people’, if you can really call them that, decided to take it upon themselves to open up blogs and social media pages attacking and bullying my mate, and to say that I’m furious in an understatement, and since I can’t hunt you down myself, I want to make something abundantly clear,” Jensen states, the Alpha tone in his voice silencing all the comments even as they stopped flying by on the screen. He wasn’t joking, and it showed.
“This is my true mate. She is my Omega, and I would give my life for this woman. How dare you attack her, and then call yourself my fans? She’s part of me. She’s my life. She’s my person, and I love her. If you’re attacking her, you might as well take a direct stab at myself.”
Jensen’s gaze soften as he looked away from the still live camera to the Omega who was still sitting in his arms, trying to make herself as small as possible and he nosed along her hairline in attempt to get a smile at her before brushing her hair away from her neck so that her claiming mark would be on full display for all the world to see.
“She’s smart, she’s talented, she’s funny, she loves me when I can assure you that most of you wouldn’t last a day with someone as fucked up as me. She’s the most beautiful Omega I’ve ever seen. She’s my better half. She’s my person. This is real. No amount of bullying or mean post is going to make me change my mind, and after I end this video, I’m going dark on social media until further notice unless it’s work related, If you don’t want all of me, and assure you, Y/N is part of that, you get none of me.”
Comments were flying so fast across the screen that even if her eyes weren’t teary she’d never be able to read them. Jensen turned in that moment, capturing her lips with his, and kissing her in a deep, possessive, passionate kiss as he ended the video and threw the phone across the room.
“Now,” he said, ripping her shirt away from her body with one pull of his strong arms as he kissed away the tears that had trailed down her cheeks and removed the underwear she’d been wearing underneath his flannel.
“Listen to me Omega, you’re mine. You were made for me,” he said, trailing his fingertips over her side, tracing every curve and every part of her body with his touch that she was ashamed of or self conscious about as if you were some precious work of art to him and it made you shiver under his touch.
“You were literally designed to take me,” he said, accenting his declaration by slowly pressing his engorged length into her already dripping heat that he’d freed by only pulling down his saxx enough to be out of his way in his urgency.
“I love every single thing about you Omega,” he confessed as he started to pump slowly in and out, dragging out the stretch of cock inside of her already clenching walls; determined to prove and reestablish his bond with her. That connection that only existed between the Alpha and his Omega, to prove to her that she was his, and no one was going to change that, or take that away.
“So next time you see shit like that on the internet, or someone says you don’t belong to me, I want you to look me in the eyes when I knot you, claim you inside and out, and I want you to remember just how you belong to, and that there’s not a damn thing living or and breathing that I will let come between the two of us. I love you Y/N, no one’s opinion is ever going to change that.”
Jensen guided their conjoined bodies and laid her back on the couch as he spoke to her, stopping only long enough to kiss her deeply before he really picked up the pace, sending her body arching into his as he drove the both higher and higher, his knot catching at her entrance with each breath taking trust, and his fingers leaving marks on her hips she’d wear with pride.
She couldn’t speak, the emotions were just too thick. She’d never had anyone look at her with as much love and admiration as Jensen did now, and as his knot popped, sending her over the edge with a breathless scream and the Alpha inside Jensen showing bright gold before lowered his head to reclaim her, it was a moment that she’d never forget.
The utter, deep, unequivocal love that flowed through an Alpha and his Omega left no room for doubt how he felt about you, how much he loved you, how much you belonged to him.
Jensen carefully adjusted your conjoined bodies to lay more comfortably on the couch so that he wouldn’t crush you, his lips barely ever leaving yours while you came down from your highs together.
“Do you believe me now, sweetheart? Those people, they don’t know a damn thing. You’re my everything Y/N. I love you.”
“Love you to Jensen,” she told him, kissing him deeply, reveling in the feeling of utter peace in that moment. She was his, and he was hers, who gave a fuck what other people thought. They’re opinion didn’t matter. He was your everything too, and no one was ever going to be able to take that away.
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Forever Tags: 
Jensen and Dean’s Babes:
ABO Forever: 
ABO Jensen fics:
296 notes · View notes
merakiui · 8 months ago
May I request a one shot Yandere! Diluc with reader or Lumine (basically the traversed) and how he’d react to her desires to return back to her world? Diluc hasn’t acted on his feelings and is practically one-sidedly pining ❤️
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yandere!diluc x (female) reader art credit - emoemone on twt cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/thoughts, mentions of cauterization/branding/fire, blood, broken glass
“I’d like to go home.”
The declaration disturbs the silent, empty tavern like a warmonger among the common folk. Diluc pauses his ministrations, a damp rag poised within a wine glass, and glances in your direction. You’re sitting in front of him at the bar, having decided to keep him company as he closes the tavern. For a moment, his eyes search your face for any indication of a jest or lie, as if he expects you to come clean with a hearty laugh.
Your expression is grave, filled with a longing that has only become more potent with each day spent in Mondstadt. Had he been delusional, Diluc might have assumed that troublesome bard slipped something into your grape juice. And yet you’re perfectly sober, speech clear and intact with steady motor skills to boot.
He arches a brow, curious as to what brought this on. You must be out of your mind for wanting to leave such a generous city that has welcomed you with open arms. It’s a city of freedom and yet you want to throw everything away for the sake of returning home. For the sake of severing your bonds with the people of Mondstadt; it’s so dreadfully cruel.
“Yes, really! As great as Mondstadt is, it just isn’t the same. And...I miss my brother. A lot.” Forlorn grief spreads across your face and you lean your elbow upon the counter, sighing heavily. “I’m hoping I’ll be able to find some clues if I retrace my steps.”
“You’ll just be wasting your time.”
“Maybe. But if it’s for him, I’d gladly do it.”
His eyes narrow, two pools of impossibly deep red that threaten to burn you at the stake if you speak anymore nonsense. Like a witch who whispers treacherous poison, you’ll be swept up in a horrendous blaze of your own making—as you are the matchstick and he is the wavering flame. Diluc is well aware of your situation. He knows your purpose is to search for your lost sibling; you’re a traveler, for Archons’ sake. That’s practically what a traveler does: bouncing from land to land in search of boundless treasures, intriguing legends, or, in your case, a missing brother. Of all the people in Mondstadt, he should be the one to sympathize with you.
After all, he lost someone near and dear to him and that guilt has made a feast out of his memories.
“And what will you do once you return? You can’t be certain he’ll have left any signs for you—if he’s been taken somewhere else entirely, that is. And even if he has, wouldn’t that god just erase every clue in order to keep the both of you apart?”
“I don’t know... But I haven’t gotten any closer to finding him while I’ve been here! Every time I think I’ve found something, it leads to a dead end and I’m back at the very beginning. So I’m going home.” You pause to weigh his words, a frown twisting at your lips at the implication of that meddling god. “It’s better to keep trying.”
“You’re going to waste your time,” he repeats, sounding uninterested as he resumes polishing the glass. “You’ll have better luck in another land than somewhere you’ve already been.”
“What else am I supposed to do? I’m getting desperate...”
You’ve only been in Mondstadt for a few months—hardly a year—and yet your presence has added more fuel to the dangerous fire residing within his furnace-like heart. You’ll be cauterized long before you find your sibling. That might be for the best. A wound should be fixed properly to avoid reopening it, and a recurring issue should be dealt with as swiftly as possible. When simple words won’t work in his favor, perhaps physical intervention will solve such a troubling problem. Perhaps even an abnormal traveler will burn just as bright as the infatuation locked away within his scalding heart.
The glass shatters in his choking grip, crystalline shards splaying across the shiny countertop like precious jewels bursting from a chest. A few dig into his gloves, tearing the thin fabric and drawing blood. It stains the damp rag in his hand in a color that’s as bold as the very fire he wields.
“Master Diluc!” Your gasp alerts him at once, and he finds himself staring into your eyes rather than at the glass shards probing his skin. “Are you okay? Let me find you a clean cloth. Ah, bandages! Do you have any here? Those would work better than a flimsy cloth.”
You’re rambling as you bolt up from your stool, stumbling around the tavern like a crazed drunkard. Diluc thinks it’s rather cute to watch you fumble through your nervous rant, as if you believe a few minor scratches could seriously wound him. But you’ve always been a caring person, constantly looking out for those who might need help. Your reputation with the townsfolk is outstanding as a result of that, but he wouldn’t expect anything less of someone so virtuous.
“I’m fine.” He peels the gloves off with ease, careful to pluck the shards out before they can burrow any deeper. His hand, although bloodied and riddled with minor indentations, raises for your wary gaze. “See? This is harmless. Just like a splinter.”
“I suppose so, but we should still treat it. You don’t want it to get infected.” A smile quickly softens your once hardened expression. “Imagine what Kaeya would say if he found out. He wouldn’t let you live it down.”
“Hm.” The sound of another man’s name on your lips is utterly sickening, and for a twisted fraction of a second he considers imprinting his name onto your skin. Surely it’ll serve as a reminder that you should only think of him—only speak his name in that sweet voice of yours. But that would cause you an intense amount of pain and he would never dream of laying his hands upon you in a violent manner. “I agree. That would be troubling.”
These sudden ideas of destruction concern him greatly. He doesn’t want to hurt you, nor does he ever want to lose you. But it’s frustrating when you stand before him, cradling his hand and dabbing the blood away with a handkerchief, and he can’t muster the proper words. If he were to confess and spill every single sentimental thought like a raging waterfall, his emotions would finally come to fruition. Thinking about them is something akin to fantasy, but saying them aloud is like cementing an odd reality into place.
He likes you. Do you like him?
It’s such a simple question that can either mend his entire being or slice it in half. He’ll never receive an answer because he refuses to ask. And you’ll end up leaving him behind in Mondstadt. In a city renowned for its precious freedom, are you truly free if he wants to keep you for himself, safe and completely untouched by the horrors of this vast world? Surely he deserves some semblance of peace if you intend on hollowing out his soul with the spoon that is your desire to abandon him.
Not exactly abandon, per se. That’s not your true intention, but thinking that way doesn’t soothe the fire any less.
“Thank you... You really didn’t have to help, but I do appreciate it.”
“It’s not a problem! Although I wish I could’ve healed you. That would make this a lot faster.” Your smile turns bitter as you recall every moment in which you would patch up your brother and he would do the same when you found yourself on the precipice of harrowing injury. “It’s getting late.”
Ah, the universal cue of indicating a routine need for sleep.
Diluc nods as he gathers the glass shards into the rag, emptying them into the trash so they won’t cause anymore harm. You’re already heading to the door and this could be the last time he sees you. Your final interaction would have been bittersweet and unfair.
“(Name).” His voice stops you in your tracks and you turn around, somewhat surprised to hear him call for you. You assume he’s going to bid you a good night, but he manages to leave you surprised. “I would like to help you find your brother. Although I’m needed here in Mondstadt, I hope you’ll reconsider your current plans.”
You’re flattered he’d offer his help, but you’ve heard those words nearly a hundred times now. It’s become a dull cycle that bears rotten fruit. Maybe, if you were to give it another chance, something good will happen. You’re not entirely faithful in that sentiment, but it sounds pleasing to your brain. Perhaps you’re too tired to make a wise decision.
“Thank you! I think I’ll take you up on that offer, Master Diluc. It wouldn’t hurt to stay another month or so, if only to make sure I haven’t missed anything.”
And like a matchstick, you incite an inferno that’s destined for a hazardous future should it remain cooped up inside the depths of his soul.
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genyaakostyk · 7 months ago
it’s a love story
a/n: this is a looonnnggg one, but i enjoyed writing it a lot. Thank you to @gryffindors-weasley who’s stories have inspired this one - if you want more sweet Colin please go read their stories!
words: 3,703
summary: Y/N has loved Colin since they were children but it was one-sided. She was content to stand aside and watch Colin move on without her. Until Marina.
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Unrequited love hurt.
It was easy to lose yourself in night-time fantasies of a life with the one person you loved - dreaming of your wedding, your house and the day they confessed their feelings to you.
Y/N had loved Colin ever since she’d been a child. It’d started off as nothing more than platonic love - they’d been best friends since childhood, and they’d stayed close over the years as they both grew up and turned into something that vaguely resembled adults.
She’d never revealed how she felt to him. Y/N didn’t want to tell him and run the risk of ruining their friendship. She simply stood aside and watched him flirt with and at almost every woman in London. It never bothered her - it was how Colin was. He flirted and played around but never settled.
Until Marina.
Y/N hadn’t thought twice about how he flirted at Marina. Admittedly, it had hurt to see how close they’d been at Daphne’s wedding party and how besotted Colin seemed to be with her. But Y/N had just thought Marina was another passing fancy who would be married and vanished after the season ended.
But the garden party changed that.
She hadn’t wanted to go. Ever since Daphne’s wedding she’d been keeping her distance from Colin and the Bridgerton House in general, not wanting to set herself up for anymore heart ache and pain then what she was mentally prepared for.
As her carriage pulled up to the gardens, Y/N felt her hands begin to shake. It was ridiculous how nervous she was - nothing had even happened yet! She was just nervous to see Colin and have to disguise her feelings from him and Marina.
Before the wheels of her carriage had even stopped rolling, Eloise ran over and flung open the door, looking up at Y/N expectantly. Benedict reluctantly chased after his sister after his mother shoved him in Eloise’s vague, general direction.
Eloise squinted up at her, attempting to read Y/N’s mind. “Nope, you’re not running away,” she said, reaching up and grabbing her friends’ hand and practically pulling her out the carriage, sensing Y/N’s desire to be anywhere other than there.
“Oh, Eloise, don’t start,” Y/N complained, barely catching herself on Benedict’s outstretched arm as she missed the step entirely and lost her footing.
“If I have to suffer, you have to suffer,” Eloise replied, almost pouting.
Y/N sighed, still clutching Benedict’s arm as she regained her sense. “Eloise, I don’t want to be here. I can’t cope with... well, that,” she waved a hand in the vague general direction of where Colin was.
“And I can’t cope with my mother doing what she does best,” Eloise shot back, snatching Y/N’s hand and pulling her into the gardens. “Now, come along, dear Y/N.”
Not trusting her friend, Y/N grabbed Benedict’s hand and dragged the man along with her, ignoring his muttered complaints as he reluctantly followed after his sister.
Everything seemed to be going fine. Y/N hovered around Benedict and Anthony, making small talk with the two and strategically avoiding looking at or being in the vicinity of Colin and having to talk to him.
Every time she looked over at him, he was with Marina, smiling dumbly at something she’d said and looking stupidly doe-eyed at her.
Marina hadn’t done anything to Y/N and was probably a lovely person, but she still infuriated Y/N beyond belief for no reason at all. Her mere existence irritated her.
Benedict looked up, having asked Y/N a question that had been met with silence. He noticed her staring at Colin and nudged Y/N’s arm. “Stop staring.”
Y/N blinked and turned her head away from Colin, plucking an invisible thread off the cuff of her dress. “Thanks,” she muttered quietly. She hadn’t realised she’d been noticeably staring.
Despite never saying anything, both Eloise and Benedict - and presumably the rest of the Bridgerton household since neither sibling could keep their mouths shut - knew about Y/N’s unrequited love for Colin.
When they’d been children, Colin and Y/N had gotten ‘married’ in the back garden of Bridgerton House. It’d been a big event involving all the family and the staff and had ultimately ended in the two getting a ‘divorce’ that evening when Colin threw a carrot at Y/N. But it’d been obvious even then how perfect they were for the other.
Y/N looked up as someone gently knocked their knife against their glass. Her heart almost stopped when she realised it was Colin and that Marina was standing next to him looking very pleased.
“May I have everyone’s attention?” Colin asked as silence fell over the gathered party.
Y/N was trying not to think the worse. She could see the confusion on Anthony’s face at what his brother was about to do but Y/N knew, deep down, what was about to happen.
“I would like to make a small but important announcement,” Colin continued, practically beaming. “I have happy news to impart.”
Y/N could hear her heart beating. She knew what was coming. There was nothing else that Colin could say that would make sense and that would make Marina smile so much. She unconsciously reached out her hand and grabbed Anthony’s arm, squeezing it tightly.
“I have asked Miss Marina Thompson to be my wife, and she has accepted.”
Everyone around them gasped in delight. Benedict was smiling, Lady Featherington was beaming, and Anthony looked like he was about to throttle someone.
Y/N felt as if her entire life was falling apart in front of her. She’d lost the one thing that meant everything to her to someone else. Her grip on Anthony’s arm increased and he looked over at her.
“Smile,” Anthony whispered, despite his own surprise and anger. “And go congratulate them.”
It took a moment for Y/N’s mind to realise that Anthony had even spoken. But a moment later she nodded, plastered a smile to her face and approached Colin and Marina with false joy and gratitude despite the fact her heart was breaking apart inside her.
For the rest of the week, Y/N stayed at home. Despite the invitation being extended to her to join the Featherington’s and a few of the Bridgerton’s for dinner, she declined it, unable to bear the pain of seeing Colin and Marina stare lovingly at one another.
The seventh day of hiding dawned annoyingly early and Y/N, who felt as if she hadn’t slept in months, found herself pottering around her house with no purpose in mind.
“Miss Y/L/N.”
Y/N turned around to face her butler. “Yes, Simmons?”
“Miss Eloise Bridgerton is here to see you, ma’am. She’s refusing to leave.”
Y/N sighed and pursed her lips. “Of course, she is,” she muttered. “Where is she?”
Simmons gestured to the lounge and Y/N headed down the corridor towards the room.
“Eloise, I swear -” Y/N cut herself off abruptly at the pained yet excited look on Eloise’s face as the woman ran up to her and all but crashed into her.
“The engagement is off,” Eloise said all at once, her excitement overtaking her need to speak.
Y/N blinked. “I - what is off?”
“Colin and Marina Thompson’s engagement,” Eloise said again, elaborating a little more. Y/N blinked again. “What?”
Eloise grabbed Y/N’s hand and dragged her into the living room, thrusting the latest Lady Whistledown into her hands.
Y/N hadn't read it in the past week - every page being focused on Colin and Marina and how happy Daphne and the duke had seemed. Every description of anything related to love added insult to injury.
She scanned it quickly and stared at the words with wide eyes. The paper fell from her hands as she looked up at Eloise.
“She... she’s pregnant?” Y/N whispered, almost not daring to say it. “What, when, how - I mean, I know how but...”
“I didn’t know how,” Eloise admittedly sheepishly.
Y/N’s head shot up, Colin and Marina forgotten. “How did you not know? You grew up with three older brothers!”
Eloise shrugged. “It just... never came up. Anyway,” she fluttered the piece of paper in font of Y/N’s face, “Colin’s free.”
“Eloise -”
“What? Y/N, there is nothing standing between you and Colin.”
Y/N sighed and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Eloise, your family’s reputation is... in a treacherous position. If I’m seen flinging myself at Colin to try and benefit from this... I’m not that sort of person. Maybe in a few weeks when its all calmed down...”
Eloise looked her friend up and down. She sat down next to her and took her hand. “Okay. I don’t agree with it but, okay.”
Over the next few days, Y/N began spending more time around the Bridgerton’s, visiting their house like she had before Colin’s proposal.
All of the Bridgerton’s, bar Colin, knew why Y/N had vanished for a few days but said nothing of her sudden re-appearance. Y/N put it down to feeling ill - she tried not to fall apart when Colin asked after her with concern in his voice and worry in his eyes.
“I’m fine now,” Y/N told him, smiling. “Just a blip.”
“Good,” Colin replied, matching her smile.
Y/N sipped on her tea, casting her eyes down as she felt her stomach flutter at the sight of his smile - even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “Are you attending the Queen’s garden party tomorrow?” Y/N asked, setting her cup down on its saucer with a soft clink.
Colin nodded. “Daphne and the duke are back in town... so, yes, we’re all going to be attending. Are you...”
“Yes, I’ll be there,” Y/N replied, trying not to smile at the palpable relief that appeared on Colin’s face at her answer.
Despite everything that had happened over the past few days, Colin and Y/N’s relationship hadn’t changed. Yes, Y/N was still longing after someone she would likely never have but she’d missed her best friend too much to sulk in her own misery for much longer.
The day of the Queen’s Garden Party, Y/N joined the Bridgerton’s, walking in with the family, her arm in Colin’s.
“Isn’t this lovely?” Violet asked, smiling as she put her arm around Hyacinth. “All of us together again. And Y/N.”
Y/N laughed. “Thanks, Lady Bridgerton.”
“Yes, it’s lovely indeed. We should tempt scandal more often,” Colin muttered. He grunted lightly as Y/N elbowed him in the stomach. “Ow.”
“Hush,” Y/N replied. She was highly aware of everyone staring at them - a given considering the scandal that Marina had brought down upon the Bridgerton’s.
After a few minutes, and after the Queen had accosted Daphne and the duke, Y/N wandered off from the Bridgerton’s, mingling with the other guests and indulging herself in a glass of lemonade and a biscuit.
“Oh, Miss Y/L/N!”
Y/N closed her eyes at the shrill, grating voice of Cressida Cowper. She was the last person she’d wanted to see let along speak to. Y/N plastered a smile to her face and turned to face Cressida.
“Miss Cowper, how are you?” Y/N asked.
“I’m wonderful, thank you. I just wanted to know what you think you’re doing,” Cressida replied, her tone cheerful but the words sounded and felt forced.
Y/N frowned. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean, Cressida.”
“Mr Bridgerton - Colin, I mean. You’ve been fawning all over him since the news about Miss Thompson broke -”
“I haven’t been fawning, I’ve been trying to be a good friend,” Y/N replied slowly, her frown deepening.
Cressida waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, but we all know that your ‘friendship’ is a disguise for your unrequited love for Mr Bridgerton.”
The empty glass in Y/N’s hand all most fell to the floor, but she kept a tight grip on it as she looked at Cressida. “Excuse me?”
“Well, it’s well known that you are in love with Colin and that he doesn’t know. And if he did, well, that would be your friendship over, wouldn’t! Perhaps you are even Lady Whistledown and wrote that article on Miss Thompson to have Colin all to yourself.”
“I don’t know what you’re implying here, Cressida -”
“Oh, I’m not implying anything, Y/N,” Cressida replied, smiling slyly. “We both know the truth about your relationship with Colin. I just can’t imagine how hurt he would be if Lady Whistledown turned out to be you. Besides, it’s not like you actually think he could possibly love you? You don’t deserve him.”
“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Colin asked, stepping into the conversation and putting a hand on the small of Y/N’s back.
Y/N turned her head away and, despite the tightness in her throat, swallowed and smiled. “Yes, Miss Cowper was just leaving,” she said firmly.
Cressida all but stamped her foot as she turned and flounced off. Colin watched her go and then turned back to Y/N, frowning in concern. He was no stranger to the stings Cressida and her mother often gave out to the Ton.
“What was that about?” Colin asked. “I didn’t really hear much -”
“Nothing,” Y/N cut in. Colin’s hand was still resting on her back and she could feel the heat of his hand seeping through the light pink silk of her dress. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t just be friends and pretend her feelings didn’t exist when they did.  She took a shaky breath in, clenching her lace gloved hands tightly as they shook. “Excuse me.”
Ignoring Colin’s worried and hurt expression, Y/N stepped away from him and walked off towards the back of the gardens in search for some peace and quiet.
Y/N found a small side garden amongst the hedges and darted into it, kicking the small white picket fence gate shut behind her - forming a very pathetic barrier that Colin could probably climb over.
Cressida had always had the ability to get under her skin. Normally she would simply forget and move on with her day but everything Cressida had said - minus the Lady Whistledown accusation - was true.
She didn’t deserve Colin. That was partly why she’d been so content to let him marry Marina - because she didn’t deserve him. And why would he love her? Compared to Marina and every other women Colin had flirted at or with, she wasn’t much of anything.
Y/N closed her eyes at the sound of Colin’s voice, mentally wishing him away. She refused to turn around and face him - she could feel the emotions beginning to win over her and could feel her eyes burning.
“Y/N, what’s wrong? What did Cressida say?” Colin asked, walking up to her and putting a hand on her back where the fabric was nothing more than a sheer covering.
Y/N could feel the heat of his skin and the soft skin of his hand and suddenly wanted him to just go away and never speak to her again because it would make things so much easier.
“Nothing that wasn’t true,” Y/N said softly, a stray tear escaping her eye and dripping on to her cheek. She felt Colin still and knew he’d heard at least some of what Cressida had said. “You heard, didn’t you?” Y/N asked quietly.
Colin didn’t answer for a moment. “I... I heard the last few sentences.”
Y/N laughed humourlessly. “Of course, you did,” she said, her laugh mixing with sobs. She turned around to face her best friend with tears in her eyes.
Colin looked at her, stunned by the broken expression on her face. In the years he’d known her, the only time he’d seen her that broken had been when her mother had passed away and she’d sobbed into his arms all night. “Y/N/N...”
“No,” Y/N stepped to the side, away from Colin’s outstretched hand. “No, I’m sorry.” She inhaled sharply. “I can’t... I can’t do this. I know - I can’t.”
Colin lunged forward and grabbed Y/N’s wrist as she turned to go, yanking her to a halt and forcing her to look at him. “Y/N, wait.”
“What, Colin? So, you can make fun of the fact that I’ve been on love with my best friend since I was sixteen?”
“No, I just... I need an explanation - I need someone to explain because my head is spinning,” Colin replied. “I don’t understand.”
Y/N sniffed, looking down at the grass. “You own my heart, Colin,” she said simply. She looked up. “When I dream of my future it's with you. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with - the one I see myself loving until I die.”
Y/N paused, swallowing down the tears that wanted to fall. She had to say this now, to get it over with and make it clear. Even though it was physically hurting her. “And I know you don’t feel the same way so, we can just leave this here. Nothing else has to be said about it. I’ll leave and we don’t have to speak of this again - or even see each other if that’s what you want.”
Colin said nothing. He was too stunned and surprised by the sudden confession and the events of the past few days to form a sentence. Y/N nodded sadly, taking his silence as her answer, and left the gardens.
She tried to hide her tear-stained face and broken heart as she emerged back into the main party. She’d arrived with the Bridgerton’s and had no way of getting home without them. Y/N spotted Anthony near the entrance and quickly made her way over to him, desperate to leave before anyone cornered her or spoke to her.
“Anthony,” Y/N said softly, nudging his arm.
Anthony turned around as the people he had been talking to walked off. It took him all of thirty seconds to take in her teary eyes, her shaking hands and the broken look on her face. “Y/N...”
“I’d like to go home, please,” she said quietly, her voice breaking on the last few words.
Anthony, to his credit, didn’t ask why. He nodded and took her arm, steering her out the garden. He caught Benedict as they passed, the two sharing a quick and quiet conversation. She caught the pitying stare Benedict gave her, the simple action making her tears free fall once again.
The carriage they had arrived in wasn’t waiting out front for them. Anthony looked around for it but saw no sign.
“I’ll be back, are you alright to stay here?”
“I’ll be fine,” Y/N replied, nodding.
Anthony squeezed her shoulder and walked off with a determined stride to find their carriage.
Y/N closed her eyes and turned around. “Colin, don’t -”
Colin skidded to a halt in front of Y/N, scattering the pebbles of the driveway with his sudden stop. He was panting, as if he’d ran from the garden to the driveway without stopping.
“Just, listen,” he said, cutting her off. “I... I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.”
“I know, you don’t like me, it’s fine -”
“Will you,” Colin walked forward until he was inches away from her, “just listen?” He took her gloved hand and held it in his. “I didn’t say anything because you caught me entirely off guard. The past few days have been chaos and I need a moment to think. Because the last thing I expected was you to declare your love to me in a garden on a random Thursday. The truth is, Y/N, is that I have loved you ever since we had our wedding in the gardens of my house.”
Y/N let out a snort of laughter despite her tears. “I thought you didn’t want me,” she said softly, looking up at him. “Why would you? I don’t deserve you -”
“That,” Colin said, putting a hand on Y/N’s cheek and wiping away the tears with the pad of his thumb, “sounds suspiciously like the words of a Cowper. Y/N, I love you. I thought you didn’t want me!”
Y/N laughed tearfully and leant into Colin’s hand, still resting on her cheek. “We’re idiots.”
“That we are,” Colin agreed, nodding. “Y/N... the way I feel when I’m with you... there is nothing on this earth that is comparable. I’ve been waiting my entire life for you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought Marina would be the one to make me forget you but every time I looked at her... I thought of you. I thought about how much I want to kiss you -”
“Then kiss me,” Y/N said, her voice not much more than a whisper. “And make it a good one, Colin.”
And suddenly his lips were on hers and there was a hunger and a need as he kissed her. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her against his chest. Y/N’s hand went to the back of his head, her fingers combing through his curls. She could feel his heart pounding and could feel the warmth from his skin as his hand moved up her back.
It was years of waiting and pining and wanting the other. Y/N needed Colin like she needed to breathe, and Colin needed Y/N like he needed water to live.
Y/N reluctantly pulled away from Colin, her hand still in his hair. She rested her forehead against his. “I love you.”
Colin rested his forehead on hers. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, staring at her. His hand was on her waist and the other one was on the back of her neck, stroking the skin gently. “I love you too.”
“So... are we organising another wedding?”
Y/N dropped her head on to Colin’s shoulder at the sound of Anthony’s voice and groaned loudly.  “Seriously, Anthony?!”
“You two kissed in the driveway,” Anthony pointed out, crossing his arms and attempting to look intimidating despite the stupid grin on his face. “Now, are we going or staying, because I’ve still yet to find our carriage.”
“We can stay,” Y/N replied, her hand entwined with Colin’s. “And when we walk back in there, we’re going to break the Ton.”
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clairecrive · 5 months ago
Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?
I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁
Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕
A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x
I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.
Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,
Word count: 2.4K
Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)
Part 1
You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.
You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.
Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.
Turns out you were wrong.
As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?
You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.
This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:
1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)
2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it
3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be
4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.
As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.
When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.
You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.
Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.
Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...
Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.
Enough of that. It was over.
It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.
Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.
"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.
He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.
"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.
"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.
"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.
"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.
He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.
You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.
"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.
The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.
"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.
"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.
"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.
"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."
"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.
"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.
"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.
"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"
"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.
"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.
The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.
"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.
"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.
At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.
"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.
"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.
"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.
His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??
"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"
"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."
"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.
He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.
It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.
"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.
"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.
You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.
"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.
You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?
"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.
"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.
"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."
"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.
"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?
"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.
You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.
But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...
"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"
"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.
"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.
"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."
"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...
He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.
"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.
Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.
"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.
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ladydaemon · a month ago
jesper fahey x female! reader
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A/N: this is my fic for @magpiencrow's 1.2k writing challenge - i chose to combine 'you and i' by queen and 'two of us' by the beatles. and yeah this is more than two weeks later than when i said i would post this what about it
Summary: jesper and y/n have a wonderful night on ghezen's day
Warnings: swearing, i think that's it? its literally just pure indulgent fluff
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"You do realize someone probably worked very hard to earn kruge like this, right?" Y/N L/N grinned, holding up a thick wad of money they had stolen from someone's pockets. She was seemingly unperturbed by the fact, her tone light and teasing as she bumped playfully into Jesper.
"And we, my dear, are working very hard on spending it," Jesper winked, wrapping one of his long arms around her shoulders. He snatched the kruge from her hand, immediately spending a portion of it on the first thing he laid eyes on, which was a ridiculously bright orange hat that burned Y/N’s eyes just looking at.
Jesper plopped it on her head, adjusting it so it was crooked, laughing.
Y/N would have done anything to hear that laugh.
The streets were loud and boisterous and carefree, and for the first time in a very long while, the two of them felt the same way. For today, at least, there were no chores or errands or jobs to do.
It was Ghezen's Day - the holiday that signified the starting of spring, where everything was sunny and bright. It was the one day where even the lowest of the Barrel thugs were out enjoying this tiny sliver of happiness, where there was only whistling vendors and cheery parades and star-gazing at night.
But for Y/N and Jesper, it was something more. It was a day where they weren't con artists or thieves or sharpshooters. They weren't thugs or gamblers or criminals.
They were teenagers.
Kaz, of course, pretended like he didn't care. He rolled his eyes and told them that were just trying to get away from chores they despised or any actual work. But everyone knew, even if they didn't admit it, that today was a day where they could pretend.
Pretend to be normal, pretend to be regular, pretend that they had loving families and good homes. Pretend that the weight of being hated and criminalized and addicted didn't make their shoulders slump and their heads hang. Pretend that they didn't muffle their sobs behind closed doors or shake in bed as they tried to rid their minds of all the horrible, treacherous, necessary things they had done.
Pretend that they were just a pair of inseparable best friends having a good holiday.
"C'mon, we need to find a good spot to see the sky," Jesper needled, taking Y/N by the arm and dragging her toward a carriage, elbowing a small, old lady out of the way and almost running them over a few small children on the way.
On Ghezen's Day, an hour after the sun set, the city mandated that all lights be shut off - the sky was clearer than it ever was in the hours that followed, and nearly everyone over the age of twelve stayed up until dawn, watching the sky. However, there was still pollution in the city, remainders of the gas and oil and muck churned up from the sea and the homes of the wealthy, and many preferred to ride to the outskirts of town, if not all the way into the country, where the sky was more visible.
Those towns that bordered between rural and urban, which never saw much tourism or profit, were the most popular places to be, full of tents for dancing outside and vendors selling foreign delicacies and musicians standing in the streets.
And as such, it was almost impossible to get a carriage out of the city without deploying either bony knees, steel-capped boots, or vicious elbows.
And that was exactly what was happening as people shoved and hassled people out of the way, even occasionally pulling out thick wads of kruge, trying to bribe other people in getting out of the limited selection of carriages going out of the city.
"The woman with the black shawl," Y/N whispered (though she needn't have bothered - the city was loud enough to mask any noise), leaning in and brushing her lips against Jesper's ear so he could hear her.
She could’ve sworn she felt him shudder.
"Ten minutes. No less."
"Twenty kruge.”
Y/N grinned, slipping out of Jesper's hold and sauntering over to the woman in question, a pretty red-head. The woman was obviously rich (Y/N took a moment to appreciate the elegant dark blue dress she was wearing, paired with pretty gold earring and a matching necklace) and was about to step into a black carriage - one that Y/N was about to charm her out of.
"Hey there, miss," Y/N called out, putting on the face of an entitled, flirtatious mercher. "You wouldn't mind sharing the carriage, would you? I can’t seem to find an available one, and I’d rather share one with a beautiful lady such as yourself instead of some of those Barrel barbarians.”
The woman stopped halfway into her seat, looking back at Y/N.
If Y/N hadn’t been wearing the obviously expensive clothes she was, with the even more expensive diamond necklace around her throat (that Jesper had given her last Ghezen’s Day, as a present), the woman would have simply shut the carriage door in Y/N’s face.
Then there was the fact that she was gorgeous, and nobody in their right mind would refuse a two hour carriage ride alone with her.
That was Jesper’s opinion, at least.
“I could say the same about you,” the mercher grinned, opening the door wider.
Y/N smiled back, stepping into the carriage and placing her hand delicately on the other woman’s arm-
And swiftly shoved her into the streets, slamming the door behind her. Jesper climbed in from the other side, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Cruel.”
“Please, I slipped fifty kruge in her sleeve, she’ll be fine.”
“Ah. In that case, proceed. I don’t like anyone flirting with my Y/N, anyway.”
Y/N smirked at him, handing the driver a wad of kruge and telling him to step on it.
“Criminals,” he muttered, snapping the reins.
"Heels down, Y/N, love," Jesper shouted, grinning.
Y/N, switching the reins to one hand, flipped him off, scowling, but adjusted her feet in the stirrups anyways, forcing her heels downward and huffing when her calves ached. “I hate you.”
“We both know you love me,” Jesper shouted back, easing back into a trot - Y/N did the same, easing her weight further into the balls of her feet and gripping the saddle tighter between her knees. Beside her, Jesper had already done the same, posting in time with his horse’s gait.
“Where are we going again?” Y/N asked, panting as she slowed her horse down to a full stop.
“Absolutely nowhere.”
“Do we’re going nowhere, and basically getting nowhere and you want me to be happy about all this work?”
“Yes? You’re being blessed with my presence.” Mock indignation filled the words and Y/N rolled her eyes.
“Fine,” Jesper huffed, “let’s go back home.”
But home wasn’t always a place, was it?
”Come on, I’m hungry,” Y/N whined, pulling Jesper’s wrist with her as she power-walked through the crowded, small town in search of some sweets.
”Ooh, cinnamon honey cakes,” Jesper said dryly, almost smacking into Y/N when she came to a full, screeching halt.
”Don’t you dare joke about honey cakes,” she hissed, poking him in the chest.
”I wasn’t,“ Jesper chuckle, nodding toward the vendor selling the sweets in question.
Y/N gasped audibly, dragging him along with her as she practically sprinted for the cart.
”After this, we’re going straight to the pond. We don’t want anyone to steal our spot.”
Y/N flopped down on her bed, staring at her wall of paper in boredom.
Each scrap of parchment, every napkin with hastily scribbled writing in the back, was a letter from Jesper.
Every week, no matter where Jesper was at the moment, he would write her a letter - describe where he was in detail, and then every thought that came to mind. It was a strange tradition (that nobody remembered how it came about) that Nina liked to tease them about.
You two have separation anxiety, she would giggle. Like an overprotective mother and her baby.
Two best friends, actually, Y/N would respond, stuffing her face with waffles.
Um, no. Would ‘best friends’ write, and I quote, “I’ll be home soon” on every letter they write?
Yes, they would, Y/N would sigh, snatching whichever letter Nina had gotten ahold of that time, and stare at the phrase in question.
Because home wasn’t a place.
“Stop doing that,” Jesper whined, plucking the lit match from Y/N’s fingers and tossing it into the pond.
She huffed, sticking out her tongue and lighting another one, waiting until it had burned down to her fingers before flinging it into the lake. “It’s a habit, Jes.”
They could’ve been there bickering playfully, enjoying each other’s company in silence for three days or three hours or a mere three minutes. Time didn’t exist, didn’t matter when they were alone together.
Laughter rang through the darkness, lanterns only bobbing pinpricks of light behind them - drunk giggles and cheerful music echoed back to them, but it didn’t really register to either of the two.
Moonlight bathed the two of them in a white glow as they both stood up as the stars gradually came out, twinkling, tiny lights covering the marbled, dusky blue-purple-black night sky, exposing nebulae and swirls and whorls of colors.
“Y/N, love, you’re gonna catch a cold.”
“I don’t care in the slightest.”
Jesper sighed, a grudging smile overtaking his face as he watched Y/N. She was soaked to the bone, hair and clothes sticking to her skin, nose ruddy from the cold.
“Dance with me,” she pleaded, holding out a hand to him.
She looked beautiful.
Jesper finally relented, picking Y/N up and twirling her around. She squeaked, closing her eyes, gripping onto his arms for dear life as the rain came down in silver sheets around them.
When he set her back down, the world seemed to stop spinning, the carriages stopped moving, it was just him and her and the rain.
“Let’s go home,” Y/N said eventually, quiet and peaceful, smiling up at Jesper.
But they were already home.
She turned to Jesper, about to remark on how pretty the whole thing was, but stopped in her tracks. He was staring at her, a small, happy smile on his face, an unreadable emotion in his silver eyes.
He closed the three feet of space between them, grabbing her face between his hands, gently, like she was as precious as the diamonds around her neck. Not like she was breakable - like she was valuable, and he never wanted to lose her.
He gave her time to pull away, to laugh and make a joke, but she only stared back at him, the quizzical expression gone, on its place one of fear and hope and happiness.
And then his mouth was on hers and her hands were messing up his hair and she couldn’t feel the grass on her feet anymore or the wind on her neck or her heart, jittering in her chest like it wanted to burst out and fly into the night, only him, him, him.
And then he pulled away and kissed her nose, her eyelids, her forehead. He was laughing, hands going to her waist to twirl her around and around and then she was laughing too, too many emotions to count bubbling up in her chest. Elation, hope, almost hysterical happiness, and-
Absolute certainty.
That was the feeling, that was the one thought filling her head - that there weren’t any questions anymore, because this was where she was supposed to be, this is what she was supposed to be doing, and for once, she was letting herself.
For once, she wasn’t thinking about the next day or the next job or the next week.
It was just the two of them.
Because she could never predict where life was going to lead her next, or foresee the future years, or know what horrible thing was going to happen to her next. Hell, she didn’t know what was going to happen in the next couple hours, let alone what type of sandwich she was going to eat tomorrow.
But she knew, with absolute and utter certainty, that she wanted to do it with him.
That whatever happened, she would be alright, because home wasn’t a place - and it wasn’t Jesper, either.
It was the two of them, together.
Music floated gently in the darkness, down to were Y/N and Jesper were laying in the grass. Her head was on his chest, and they were both staring at the stars.
Home is the two of us.
91 notes · View notes
walkerwords · 5 months ago
“To Feel Better” Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader
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Request from Anonymous: for your requests i saw a prompt where it was person A finding excuses to hold person B's hand such as my hands are cold will you warm them for me I think that would be cute with Daryl. 
Word Count: 1859
Warning: Swearing
Song I Wrote To: “Cardigan” by Taylor Swift
Note: I love fluff requests yall! This one is set during the time our survivors are looking for shelter after the fall of the farm!
When the farm fell, nobody knew what they were doing. 
Herschel and Rick were doing their best to keep some sort of order within the group, but they could only do so much once the cold set in and the food became more scarce. Then after losing some people during the invasion of Walkers and Shane’s attempt at a coup, pieces felt as if they were being broken off.
Andrea had been someone who you trusted wholeheartedly. You had been with her and her sister, Amy, since the beginning. Andrea had protected you both, but in the end it had been Amy who befell the fate of the new world. Her death still followed you around and you knew that it had haunted her sister for a while as well. If anything, it had made Andrea harder and more resilient. Still, she kept her eyes on you and you knew that if it came down to it, you would protect her with everything you had. That remained true until you saw her go down on the farm and never saw her reemerge from the horde as Daryl pulled you on to the back of his bike and took off down the dirt path. 
Now it was only a matter of time before someone else was lost. With the larger herds moving North all the time, the group had to keep moving and there wasn’t any time to rest for more than a couple of days. With Lori being pregnant, it was definitely causing more issues. You were exhausted, Shane was dead, Rick was keeping something a secret, and Carl was growing up before your eyes. It was too much, too fast. 
Winter was coming and going, the weather never staying the same in the South. You had been used to that your entire life, but without constant shelter or warm meals, every time the temperature dropped even a fraction, stress levels skyrocketed within the group and it was starting to get to you. Daryl, someone you had grown closer to since the farm, had tried to keep your spirits up the best he could, but there was only so much he could do. 
It was late one night when you found yourself alone on watch. Rick and Maggie had found a house that was far enough from the road with working locks and insulated enough to offer warmth. Nobody dared light a fire in case the Living decided to poke around, but it was better than sleeping in another field with one eye open. 
You were rubbing a stray bullet between your fingers as you saw on a bench just in front of the house when Daryl approached, the gun that housed said bullet was in your other hand. “I got watch,” he said, taking a seat next to you. 
“I’m fine,” you said, keeping your eyes on the dark wall of trees before you. 
“Ya need sleep,” he argued, but you remained still.
“I said, I’m fine,” you repeated. 
“Ya, that’s what ya always say,” he said. It was silent then as he sat next to you. Daryl knew when not to push you and this was definitely one of those times. If there was one person who could sit in complete silence and say more with just their body language it was you and Daryl appreciated that after hours of constant noise from the rest of the group. 
It was after a while that Daryl finally realized what you kept playing with in your hand. He recognized it as a gun that was once shoved in his face when he had first arrived at the quarry with Merle. “That Walsh’s gun?” he asked, nodding his head toward the pistol. You nodded, turning over the weapon in your hand. He wasn’t sure where you had found it, but he could tell that you had cleaned it up. “You thinkin’ about him?” 
“I don’t know what happened,” you finally said. “He was so strong…”
“Even the most level-headed people can get corrupted by this world,” Daryl said and you thought it was one of the most profound things he had ever said. Then again, you figured that Daryl was incredibly bright and he just didn’t let people see that side of him. 
“I thought he’d be one of the last people standing,” you admitted. 
“Didn’t realize you were that close,” Daryl said with a frown. 
“He saved my life,” you said with a shrug, remembering back to all the times Shane had pulled a Walker off of you when you were distracted. “He always looked out for Amy, too. Look, he wasn’t a great man, I know that, but I owed him enough. I was hoping he’d make it at least a few more years.”
“I get that,” Daryl said with a sigh, running a hand through his messy hair. You had noticed that it was getting longer, especially on the sides. 
“Sorry,” you said, “I know you hated him.” 
“I didn’t trust him,” Daryl clarified. 
“Fair enough.” 
You sat back into silence then. Your ears were scanning for the familiar groans of the Dead or the subtle footprints of the Living, but so far, nothing had approached the newest nest for the group. You were definitely missing the RV on the more treacherous nights.
Daryl was quiet before he looked over at you. You could see his face out of the corner of your eye, but you tried your hardest to ignore him. You knew Daryl had been looking out for you for a while. Or rather he had been watching you and you knew he was worried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take any extra steps towards him. No matter how much you wanted it. 
“You know,” you began, breaking the silence, “I wanted to study old bones and all that.” 
“So, an anthropologist?” Daryl said. You looked over at him with shock on your face and he clocked it immediately. “What, I watched the History Channel,” he defended, causing you to laugh. 
“Yeah, Daryl, just like that,” you said. “I wanted to know how humanity began, but I’m only seeing what we’ve become,” you said as you stared at a Walker corpse that Maggie had downed a few hours before. 
Your hand began to twitch then, a nervous habit you had developed as a teenager. It always exposed everything that you were too afraid to say. There was something about the way your body always knew what was wrong before your mind did. You figured it was something to do with the survival instincts that had kicked in the night they dropped fire on Atlanta and other major cities. 
Daryl noticed your hand instantly. “You’re doing it again,” he said quietly. 
“Nervous habit,” you said, clenching your fist, trying to quiet your nerves. “It used to drive my mom crazy.”
“You don’t talk about her anymore,” Daryl noticed. Turning to look at him, you furrowed your brow. “It’s just, ya used to talk about her at the quarry with Amy and Andrea a lot,” he said with a shrug. 
“Guess I haven’t been in the mood to be sentimental lately,” you said. 
“I get that,” he said as he continued to watch the slight tremor in your palms. “My mom died before all this,” he said  and you were surprised to hear him say anything about his family. Besides Merle, Daryl never mentioned anything about his past. At least, not to you. 
“I’m sorry,” you said. 
“I’m just glad ya know, that she didn’t have to see all this shit,” he said and you knew what he was talking about. In an odd way, anyone who had died before the outbreak lucked out. Nobody deserved to see the new horrors of the world and nobody deserved to be fighting tooth and nail just to survive. Lifting your head to the sky, you watched as a single star shot across the darkness before it disappeared again in the plethora of stars and scattered moonlight. 
“Odd, isn’t it?” you asked. 
“That because the world is dark, we finally see the stars. Living in cities always hid them,” you said with a sigh. 
“Yeah,” Daryl said, following your gaze. 
“ ‘Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars’,” you quoted with ease.
“Tolkien, huh?” Daryl said, recognizing the words. 
“Look at you,” you teased and Daryl rolled his eyes. 
“I read,” Daryl defended and you raised your hands in surrender. The movement then sparked something in Daryl as he caught your hand in his and held it gently. Your hands stilled from the warmth and firm grip of the archer’s hands. You were sitting in silence as he began to rub his thumbs along the nerves and muscles in your hands. 
Daryl was silent as he caressed your hand, taking his time to soothe your anxieties away. “You are gonna be okay,” he whispered, his focus on his task. 
“How do you know?” you whispered back. 
“Because ya ain’t one to let this world beat ya,” Daryl said simply. You took a minute for that to sink in and you knew that he was right. If anything, you were not going to give up so that the dying world took you with it. You knew that death was inevitable, but you also knew that you had come too far already to start to give up now. “Do you know the story of the man who fought off three bears and lived?” Daryl asked suddenly. 
Looking over at him, you raised your brows. “What?” Daryl nodded. 
“Yeah, the crazy son of a bitch jumped into a bear enclosure at a zoo to test if he could survive the worst possible thing,” he said. “Fought them all off with his hands and a tree branch. Nobody thought a person could do that and he did. Only came out of there with a broken hand.” 
“Is there a moral to this story?” you asked. Daryl turned your hand over in his, tracing the lines on your palm. 
“Don’t try to fight bears unless you’re high on pretty hardcore shit because he had to have been, right?” Daryl said easily and you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of your chest. Daryl gave you a smile then and you realized what he was doing. 
“Was that story even true?” you asked. 
“Nah,” Daryl said. “Does it matter, though?” 
“Not at all,” you whispered, wrapping your other hand around the joined ones between you. Moving closer to him, you leaned into him, feeling his body heat. “Thanks.” 
Daryl gently lifted your hand to his face and pressed a kiss to the back of it in a very rare act of tenderness. His lips lingered on your skin for just a second before relaxing further into you.
“Anytime,” he murmured as you sank into comfortable silence and watched for the enemy that was sure enough to break through your newfound bubble of peace. However, you knew that when that happened, the man by your side would be the one to jump into the fray and wrestle with a few bears of his own. 
TAGS: @thanossexual​ @felicisimor​ @moonstuffsteve​ @lucillethings​ @stark-dreams​ 
156 notes · View notes
zy-zen-nies · 6 months ago
Treacherous 01.
Treacherous (adj.)  guilty of or involving betrayal or deception.
Warnings: vulgar foreign language/ foul language, sexual and suggestive themes, betrayal/ betrayal between Johnjae, Illegal drug dealing, mention of blood and wounds, use of gun, smoking, mention of death/ murder, minor character death. This is my first time writing a kind of detailed smut and it`s badly written I`m sorry. I don`t know much about law but I tried since this is kind of Vincenzo au a little far from it but kind of like that and I`m amateur when it come`s to writing again I`m sorry. All Italian/foreign words came from google translate.
► Part 2
Word Count: 10.1k 
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.
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"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another,"  you said letting out a sarcastic chortle.
 "Revenge, you said you want your revenge and I`m more than happy and dreadful to help you" his eyes are flaming and burning fire the beast inside him threatening to come out as anger forms and creeps inside him.
"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips. 
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Takara Nakajima is one of the most corrupted Lawyers under Gongpyeong law firm has the dirtiest secret and dirt under their family`s name, the enemy of Ferrante`s. One of the cases you need to solve without any of your relatives knowing except for your one adopted cousin Johnny Jun Suh also distinguished as John Ivano Ferrante American/Korean, an Italian citizen.
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"Where are you at 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" His lawyer asked pacing back in forth waiting for the employer to answer.
"Again I will ask you where are you at exactly 10:00 PM when the victim is rape?" the lawyer questioned the employer again you can see that the employer is fidgeting his fingers and his eyes wandering the room one of the signs that he can be guilty.
"I-I`m home that night I didn`t do anything I didn`t put drugs in her drinks," the employer asserted.
"Objection your honor, Under sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 36 any person who dismisses a victim from employment or takes any other measure unfavorable to a victim, in violation of Article 8, shall be punished by imprisonment with labor. In the sexual violence prevention and victims protection act, article 8 No employer shall dismiss any victim or take any other unfavorable measure against him or her on the ground that he or she is the victim of sexual violence and this is what exactly what the employer doing now" you glance at the employer who is accused of doing sexual assault and attempted rape still contradicting what he has done.
"And let me ask one question please allow me your honor" you face the judge waiting for his approval.
"Let`s hear it" the judge simply said and you bow at him.
"No one, not even the police or anyone talks about you putting drugs on her drink, or perhaps you really did?" you ask the employer with anticipation waiting for him to reveal the truth and justice will be served.
"I didn`t, I said I didn`t! byeongsin saekki" the employer said and you glare at him for swearing.
"Your honor this footage from the witness will prove that he's guilty of the accusation that he`s getting" you fight back and you give the flash drive to them and insert it.
"Your honor we decline to accept this evidence!" the lawyer of the defendant said.
"It`s still evidence from the witness you have no choice," you said crossing your arms.
"Quiet! let`s watch the evidence" the judge proclaims making you all stop.
They watch the video of the girl being hauled in a dark place and how the employer does something very unpleasant and the video finishes again and now you still have the victory.
"Employer 5890 will be punished with imprisonment with labor for not more than three years" the judge announces and finalize it with the victim's family crying for winning the case. You walk out of the court with the cold aura you have going back to your office again.
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"Congratulations Y/n or should I say, Chiara Allesandra Ferrante," the person said sarcastically you look at your mortal enemy worst of the worst Takara Nakajima daughter of Nakajima Hiroto owner of Nakajima Enterprises.
"Shut it Nakajima Takara" you rolled your eyes at her purposely bumping your shoulder to hers making her huff.
"Just accept it that you can`t win a single case without bribing the judge how pathetic of you Na.Ka.Ji.Ma" you emphasize her surname with a mocking tone making sure she heard it even though you`re not facing her.
"What did you just say? Apologize now!" Takara is a partner in the Gongpyeong law firm and one of the bossiest ones.
"Mi dispiace, patetico moccioso" you purposely said it since she`s Japanese and she won`t be able to understand that you say "I`m sorry you pathetic brat." you leave her with a teasing grin tainted in your lips.
"What did you just say!?" Takara said stomping her feet to the ground.
"Goodbye," you sing while walking away from her.
You open the door of your office startled by Johnny who is admiring your office, you promptly ran in his direction and hug him as tight as you could. Johnny Suh or John Ivano is not just someone who is adopted for you, you see him as an older brother and a best friend. He is one of the best lawyers in the country and also known worldwide, renowned, and acknowledge as John Ivano Ferrante. Raised by two Italian couples at the age of 3, his parents died in a car accident the cause is still not solved after years of striving for justice to be served. But there is one saying in the Ferrante clan; Never trust anybody because you can find faults and sin even in the most righteous person.
"Ivano!" you jumped to him making him carry you in his arms while you`re clinging to him like a koala.
"Johnny, just call me Johnny" he let out a breathy chortle removing you from his tight grasp shuffling your hair the height difference didn`t help at all.
"Don`t mess up my hair my hairstylist is not available right now, you know Ivano" you emphasize his name teasingly because he doesn`t like to be called Ivano in private unless you called him John.
"Then stop calling me Ivano I`m Johnny okay? want me to spell it out for you?" Johnny raised his eyebrows at you while crossing his arms.
"Fine, fine sorry" you grin at him and shove him off of your chair to sit in it comfortably.
"So? when did you come back? you should have told me you know" you rant at him opening your laptop to explicate to him the new plan that you two have been plotting for approximately 5 years.
"I just got here yesterday night, what`s with the change of plan?" Johnny asked, making his self comfortable on the couch in front of you.
" We can`t stick to the old plan it might affect the others if we continue it so I change it, here look" Johnny stood up from his seat to move to your table and check the new plan.
"Illegal drugs transaction to sexual attraction?" Johnny read it with a furrowed eyebrows analyzing all of the pictures.
"Yes, Nakajima has been selling and importing drugs tricking their clients to buy it by using sexual attraction it`s been going on since the 2000s there are 5 lawyers who fight for this case but Nakajima is always playing the game dirty" you explain to him solemnly, showing him different files and pictures.
"I did some research about them last week the drug dealing is still going on around, we`re still finding Tajimamori Yamamoto one of their oldest lawyer and the most trusted. In the year 1998 Tajimamori fight for the Nakajima case until in the year 2000, Tajimamori just suddenly disappear out of nowhere without any traces. He`s the ace card that we need to find" Johnny explains tapping his fingers on the table, eyebrows furrowed.
"We don`t have much time left, we need to finish this within 6 months we can`t afford to lose this time" you lean back to your chair pinching your nose bridge.
Once this case opens up and once you win the case the Nakajima will fall, Takara Nakajima, you better get ready.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold," you said while clasping your hands together.
"Va servito freddo, that`s the spirit Y/n" Johnny smirk and so did you, without Johnny, this thing will be absurdity and nothing.
"Since you win a new case today lunch is on me c`mon let`s go," Johnny said and you take your purse and clung your arms to his, flashing him a bright smile.
Johnny drives into a nearby restaurant pulling up his car to the parking area when your phone opens by itself with a vibrate. Sign that someone is calling you, you look at Johnny and he nods at you as a gesture to answer the phone. He still didn`t turn off the ignition so you stay in the car and answer the phone.
"Hello? who is this?" you stated through the phone pretending that you don`t know the person calling you.
"Hi, I`m the Information hacker that you`ve called last week I just landed in Korea, can you tell me where I can meet you? I`m in your office right now." the person answered you playing along with your silly joke.
"Oh yeah, I`m in a nearby restaurant I`ll send you the address please feel free to join us for lunch," you said politely to the phone and ended it, you send the address and you go in with Johnny.
"Is that the Information hacker?" Johnny asked with a little off tone in his voice.
"Yeah, I invited him for lunch" you answered him and he only nodded.
"Ms. Ferrante?" you and Johnny heard someone called your name and you stood up from your sit to greet the person.
"It was nice to meet you" you greet him and he gives you a smile showing his whites pearly.
"The pleasure is mine," the guy said back and you smile at him.
"My name is..." the guy was about to Introduced himself when Johnny hastily cut him off.
"Ten Adriano Rossi" Johnny said while wiping his lips with a napkin.
"How did you know him?" you look at Johnny curiously, gesturing Ten to seat with a jaunty grin.
"Don`t you recognize him? he`s ten!" Johnny said calmly.
"Ten lee!?" you exclaimed acting like you don`t know him and he smiled at you opening his arms for you to hug him.
"I`m still here you know?" Johnny cleared his throat and rolled his eyes at you and Ten.
"Okay, okay no more funny business and let`s proceed to the plan," Ten said.
Johnny explained all of the new plans to Ten including the outline of the goals, objectives, measurements, action steps, and responsibilities for each step and negotiation.
"Here`s the information that you need about Tajimamori Yamamoto, he`s seen last week at Osaka and Tokyo and he soon flies to Toronto, Canada." Ten spoke and he settled the brown envelope on the table making sure no one is listening or looking at your conversation.
"Also, yesterday I was hacking the system of Nakajima enterprises but when this confidential file suddenly showed up, I think it`s the record of the money they have been Illegally pocketing," Ten said, sipping the coffee from the cup. The serious look never fading from his face.
"We should keep all of this evidence in a private place where we can easily find it but no one can, once we puzzled this informations and evidence we can open up the case against them with solid evidence that can make them fall," Johnny responded.
Get ready Nakajima the person who will destroy you is already plotting your worst nightmare, Il karma è un boomerang, il mio amato nemico; "karma is a boomerang, my beloved enemy."
Johnny and Ten excuses themselves for a minute to talk about something more private leaving you alone to clear your mind, when renjun`s number pops up on your phone screen. You didn`t answer it at first maybe he was just gonna ask you to buy something on your way home, it`s the 5th time he`s been calling you and it`s like he doesn`t want to stop until you answer. So, you finally answer the phone.
"Y/n!? what the fuck!? I`ve been calling you!" Renjun said through the phone the stress and nervousness in his voice are obvious.
"Watch your language Renjun, what is this time?" you asked him with a stern voice.
"Y/n, you need to get home we have a problem it`s hard to explain just go home right now okay?" Renjun said and he quickly cut the call.
You texted Johnny that you will go home first and he replied "Drive safe" that`s enough for you, you quickly drive to your home it`s a minute drive from the restaurant to home but you could care less how fast you`re driving right now. You know Renjun more than anyone, by just the tone of his voice you already know that something is off. Getting out of the car, you open the door of your house with Renjun behind Doyoung while pacing back and forth biting the tip of his finger.
"What`s going on!?" you asked them, sitting on the couch with heavy breathing.
"Doyoung, Hyung accidentally hack our own system, and the tax evasion record of Tremblay corp is locked and can`t be open" Renjun explained while Doyoung is fully focusing on the computer his finger tapping it so fast.
"What!? Kim Doyoung!" you said his name a little louder making him face you.
"Eojjeorago!? If Haechan is not being an ass and if he didn`t annoy me earlier I wouldn't have accidentally hacked our system!" Doyoung said, asking you what do you want him to do about it a little louder than yours.
"Geuraeso mwo!? I was telling you about the codes but you keep shoving me off!" Haechan fight back and Renjun and you sit there pinching your nose bridge in unison.
"Yah! you two come here now!" you exclaimed a little higher and louder than usual, the two of them stand in front of you and you stood up from your sit grabbing your handbag. At first, you calmly smile at them before hitting them lightly with your bag making them ran away and you chase them.
"Kim Doyoung! Lee Haechan! get your ass in here!" you yelled at them and their playful laugh is only what you heard.
"Y/n, calm down!" Renjun yelled while the three of you, Doyoung, and Haechan is running around the living room.
"Wait, let me explain okay!? Mianhe" Doyoung stops running holding his hands to his chest breathing heavily with Haechan. While Renjun is just standing there his hands resting on his hips stifling his laughter.
"Fine! and you two Johnny and Ten!" you glare at them, Johnny gulps and so did Ten awkwardly scratching their neck.
"You said that you`re just gonna talk in private but why are you two here!?  you two went here first leaving me there!" you grab the pillow and throw it at them luckily they dodge it.
"Now explain" you sat back on the couch a sigh escaping your lips while rubbing your temple softly.
Doyoung explained everything about the system and how he can claim it back in just a few minutes and that`s enough to ease your worries. Of course, you trust Doyoung so much he`s like your sibling but losing all of the confidential files is different.
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"Yun-o, this is the information we gathered about Chiara Allesandra Ferrante she`s also known as Y/n," Yuta said and he leaves the office when another person enters the door.
"Stop investigating her, you will get nothing" Johnny glares at Yun-o who is peacefully sipping the wine.
"Why? is it because she`s your cousin or maybe something else?" Yun-o dropped the envelope on the table chuckling at his response at Johnny.
"Stop putting any malice about me being protective to her will you? Jaehyun il ragazzo innamorato" Johnny tease him by calling him il ragazzo innamorato;"The lover boy"
"Well, stai zitto Ivano" Jaehyun tease back making Johnny glared at him again. stai zitto Ivano; "Shut up Ivano"
Jaehyun or Yun-o owner of Neo tech enterprises, one of the most successful men in South Korea, a pile of girls ready to get in his pants and ready to risk everything just for him. Jaehyun has a visual like Goddess if you`re gonna describe perfection many will use him as an example. Looks, style, professionalism, maturity you can see it all in him.
"I`m warning you Jaehyun," Johnny said seriously taking another sip of wine from his glass.
"I won`t do anything I swear" Jaehyun patted his best friend's shoulder going back to his seat.
"How`s the branch in New york going?" Jaehyun brought up the conversation about their joint company.
"It`s doing good, nothing bad so far but we might get ready we don`t know what will happen. I guess you know what I`m talking about since you`re investigating Y/n" Johnny responded, leaning to his seat with eyes shut. A lot is going on in his mind these days, and half of it is you.
"Well, we are well prepared for that. Just tell me whenever you need my help and by the way, I met Mr. Tremblay last week he seems like he`s in a hurry so we don`t have much time to talk" Jaehyun said staring into a space in his room going deep in his thoughts.
"Yeah, and I heard that his son is hitting on Y/n, his son is an amateur piece of shit," Johnny said letting out a "tsk" gulping down the wine he's drinking making Jaehyun sneer at Johnny.
"Jealousy, dude" Jaehyun tantalized.
"Shut up!" Johnny groaned.
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"Ms. Ferrante you need to go with us!" The door of your office suddenly opens with a loud bang making you jolt in your sit and so did Kun.
"What!? this is absurd" Kun defended you holding your wrist preventing the officer from dragging you away.
"No, Kun it`s okay just call Johnny it`ll be fine," you said calmly before grabbing your bag, the police officer assisting you to follow them.
"I`ll come with you," Kun said keeping up with your pace of the walk.
Everyone outside the building is looking at you, sparing you one glance whispering to their partner's ears. Is gossiping a new trend now? it`s funny how people will talk about you and judge you easily when you just show them the part of you that you want them to see and they will act like they know the whole story of your life.
Arriving at the station the officer asked you to sit down so the interview will start.
"We`ll go straight to the point Ms. Ferrante, someone pointed out that you have been selling drugs and there`s one found in your car yesterday. We can finish this up if you cooperated with us" the police interrogated you, showing the evidence.
"I don`t sell drugs, I don`t do drugs, I never keep one," you said rolling your eyes.
"Then what is this then? a laundry powder?" the police ask sarcastically.
"Guarda, I`m not here so just you can tell and ask your not so lame jokes I said what I said, and can I possibly know who reported this bullshit?" you ask squinting your eyes at the officer, you`re not really like this but since you`re stress and for a woman who has a lot of works to do. This interview is a burden.
"Pick up, pick up, fucking pick up!" Kun grew impatient when Johnny is not answering his calls and messages after trying and trying Johnny finally answered the phone.
"Kun take it easy I`m with Jaehyun right now" and Johnny can feel that Kun has an irritated emotion written on his face right now.
"Yeah, you`re with Jaehyun right now while Y/n and I are in the police station right now uhuh," Kun said.
"Come here right now we need you" and then he ends the call waiting outside until the interview ends.
Hours have passed and the interrogating is still going on and Kun is still waiting for you. Johnny finally arrived, fixing the suit that he`s wearing he asked Kun where you are and he assists Johnny inside.
"John Ivano Ferrante, I`m Y/n`s lawyer," Johnny said full of professionalism.
They settled the problem after almost another 1 hour they finally let you leave. Out of curiosity and frustration wondering who decided to frame you. Of course, Takara is one of the options but maybe there is someone else.
"Can I ask who reported me?" letting out a hiss you ask the officer that arrested you.
"No" the officer simply responded to your question and Johnny holds your right arms. Johnny and you are ready to leave but you still want to know who it is so you turn around again.
"won`t you really gonna tell me?" you ask one more time and that`s enough for Johnny to drag you along with him.
"C`mon let`s go" Johnny drag you along with him but you keep removing his grip.
"One last question, please?" you look at Johnny with puppy eyes but it didn`t work so you stop it and stand straight walking out by yourself but before that, you punch his arms lightly enough for him to hold his arms before walking out.
"I hate you" and Johnny only smiles at himself like a fool before following you outside.
You walk outside and took a deep breath, you look for Kun only to see him leaning in Johnny`s car. You walk to him and he smiles at you.
"Thank you," you said at him.
"Kun, can you drive Y/n home for me? I gotta go somewhere," Johnny said giving Kun the key car. Sparing you a glance but you didn`t bother looking at him back, as if he`s not in front of you.
You go home with Kun the two of you use Johnny`s car and you`re worried about him you really do. The rain keeps pouring and it`s getting darker, more hours pass and you grew more worried the rain is getting heavy. You`re thinking how Johnny will get home in this weather, you lean your head against the windowpane the raindrops sliding outside of the pane when you see a glimpse of a familiar figure.
You ran downstairs as fast as you could grabbing a soft towel with you before opening the door. It`s Johnny, Johnny is soaked wet his hair sticking out in every direction possible, a cut in the lips, and bleeding knuckles. You look up at him with worried eyes and he smiled at you. You don`t know what to say but your next action makes him feel at ease, you hug him your chest touching his. The skin contact that makes him feel comfort.
"What happened?" you asked, you don`t know why you are tearing up when he`s the one in pain. He caressed your face softly and he still didn`t say anything. You invited him inside because it`s his home too. You hold his wrist guiding him in one of the rooms, you don`t know if it`s your room but you could care less until you put an ointment and bandage in his wounds. You make Johnny sit on the bed and handed him a towel while you go in the bathroom to get the things you needed.
You slowly applied the ointment on Johnny`s lips where the cut is while your hands are slightly shaking, not minding the tears that are brimming out of your eyes. You next hold his hands to yours softly and more tear brim in your eyes, you`re so weak when it comes to Johnny and you don`t know what to feel about it.
"I-I`ll do it," Johnny said removing his hands from yours before you grab it again.
"No! I`ll do it!" you said through your sobs, wiping your tears away.
"I can do..." you didn`t let Johnny what he was about to say because you know what it is.
"No! I`ll do it, you said you`re just gonna go somewhere but why do you have this cut and wounds in your body!? I hate it!" you said letting it out as your sobs get louder and Johnny only stayed silent. You covered his knuckles with a bandage softly while he let out a loud hiss.
"You`re strong but why do you let your body take all of this!? you know I hate it when something like this happens to you" you exclaimed tears are still falling from your eyes, you touch the cut on his lips again making him hiss.
The two of you stare at each other for a brief moment and Johnny brushes away the strands of hair that are covering your face when your emotion took over you. Your lips landed on his soft ones with your eyes closed he didn`t kiss back, you`re about to pull away when he holds your nape kissing you back. The two of you stay like that for a fleeting moment.
The two of you pulled away forehead resting on one another when the bedsheet cover suddenly moves revealing Ten with a teasing grin making you pull away from Johnny.
"Is it necessary to make out in my room?" Ten asked still wearing the annoying teasing grin on his face.
"S-shut up!" you said and you walk out of the room leaving Johnny and Ten alone.
"How is it?" Ten didn`t stop teasing Johnny so he grabs the pillow and throws it at ten softly before plopping down at the bed letting his body sink in it.
You open the door of your room and you straightly go to your bed burying your face at the pillow out of embarrassment, tossing around the bed messing it up.
"Did you just kiss your cousin? did you just kiss Johnny Suh? It`s okay, right? the two of us are not blood-related anyways so nothing to worry about yes? no?" burying your face on the pillow once again letting out a muffled scream.
The boys decided to have dinner all at once at home so they ordered food for all of you they start calling you, you just keep answering "Okay" so they decided to stop when your stomach makes a grumbling noise. You open the door of your room only to see Johnny`s fist in the air may be to knock? and you look down.
"A-about earlier" you`re about to apologize to Johnny when he cuts you off.
"It`s okay don`t flutter yourself," Johnny said with a smile and you go downstairs with him.
"Don`t Flutter? who said I`m fluttering myself!?" you scoffed and walk past him closing your eyes for a moment from embarrassment.
"Hey, wait up!" Johnny said grabbing your shoulders.
"Let me walk with you" he added.
The rest of you gathered in the dining room. Laughter, warmth, comfort, are filling up the whole room. Oh, gosh you know how much you miss this after almost a year of not being complete you on the times where you only have Renjun, Jaemin, and Haechan besides you.
"This pizza tastes delicious don`t you think so?" you nodded and giggled, your cheeks stuffed with pizza. All of you are laughing that you didn`t even realize who`s the person beside you, you stay silent for a moment before y`all turn your head once again to the person beside you.
"Mark Lee!" you exclaimed locking him with a tight hug.
"Dude, I can`t breath," Mark said tapping your back lightly and you back away.
"Sorry I got carried away" you beam at him and every one of them hugs him what a beautiful and pleasant event.  
"Announcement! we`re all having a party tomorrow so don`t miss out, I`ll tell y`all the location" Mark happily announced, and y`all cheered stuffing your mouth with food.
You excuse yourself to talk with Mark in private, the two of you sat in the living room looking around before proceeding to talk. Mark looks at you with confused eyes.
"So, what`s going on with Mr. Tremblay?" You asked Mark and now he finally understands.
"About that, he`s company is not doing well plus his son keeps asking me about you that I can`t even go on with a day without him asking me things about you since I sign a partnership with them," Mark answered with a sigh before pulling you into a hug and you rest your head to his arms.
"Is Takara invited to the party?" you ask him while you stare at the ceiling and he plays with your hair.
"Yes, she`s Invited" Mark simply responded.
"Can I ask you a favor for tomorrow?" you asked while looking back up at him.
"Sure, what is it?" you smiled at him for agreeing at first he didn`t buy the idea but there`s no way he can say no to you.
"Thank you, Mark!" you cheered.
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"Papà! you should`ve decline! out of all people why Takara!?" you barged in your father`s office throwing a tantrum as soon as you go face to face with him.
"Don`t raise voice at me Y/n! I`m still your father" your father defends which makes you more frustrated.
"Papà! you know that we can`t have any connection with them when it comes to running a company! this might ruin my plan why did you let them sign the contract!" you can`t help but raise your voice frustration is creeping inside you and you can`t help but let it out.
"Trust me Y/n this will help you sooner or later you will realize it," your father said. How can he be so calm when you`re out here in front of him letting your frustration out.
"Cazzo! this is ridiculous!" you fight back.
"Watch your language Y/n!" you had enough and you don`t think you can go on with this conversation.
"I`m done okay? I`m done!" you left your father`s office angrily closing the door walking fast not caring if anyone is looking.
Your father just makes a contract of partnership with Nakajima`s that makes you infuriated early in the morning. How can he sign an agreement with them?
"Did I just mention the plan to my father!? No, don`t worry Y/n he won`t get it" you talk to yourself taking a deep breath before entering your car, you called Johnny and tell him to meet you in your office in an hour.
"Why did you call me here?" Johnny asked while leaning in the doorway.
"Nice timing let`s go and help me find a dress to wear" you dragged him with you.
Johnny keeps whining about how you can ask for Wendy`s help but you keep shutting him from talking, you tried so many dresses and he keeps saying no which makes you pissed off. You choose a dress a long one and a short one for an option you bought it, it was color red you choose the long one with a deep sidecut that shows the skin of your legs.
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Arriving at the party it`s fabulous and it`s full of people around your age mid-20s and the ones in their 20s you spend the whole night drinking when this beautiful handsome man approaches you.
"Pleasure to meet you I`m Jung Jaehyun," He said offering his hands for you to shake it.
"Ciara Allessandra Ferrante but I`m more comfortable being called Y/n plus don`t act dumb I know you. I`m not a fool I know you hire someone to follow me and investigate me, I know by this time you know all of my plans but don`t worry I know you're trustworthy, and you`re friends with my friends." you took his hands to yours and you gladly shake it.
"Jaehyun? I`ve been looking for you" you heard a familiar voice and you`re completely sure it`s Johnny.
"Chill," Jaehyun said with a smile.
"Ciao Y/n I hope you will like my April fools surprise," she said slipping away the wine your holding.
Takara already left and the whole place gets full and crowded with businessmen, suddenly everyone becomes quiet when the news starts playing.
"Breaking news the well-known CEO and Founder of Phoenix corporation have been found dead at exactly 8:30 PM in his house there`s still no answer what is the cause of death" everyone gasp and you can feel a tear escaping your eyes.
"Papà, this is not real!" you said and you walk out of the party going to your dad but Johnny prevented you from doing so.
"Let go!" you said removing his grasp and he holds you tight to his embrace.
"Your father asked me a favor to not make you see him, he wants you to see him when he`s in the coffin" you didn`t hug him back but you keep crying.
"He`s still my father Johnny I want to see him!" you fight back pushing him through his chest but he won't budge. Of course, he`s stronger than you.
"Let`s go home tomorrow you`ll see him" Johnny whispered at you and you can see Jaehyun looking at you with pity in his eyes.
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"You!" you point at Jaehyun.
"Me?" he answered.
"Yes, you who else?" you talk.
"I want you to join us I know that`s your whole point of investigating me anyway," you said sternly and they all look at you.
"What?" you rolled your eyes at them.
"Tomorrow we have something to do, we`ll make our first move of the plan starting tomorrow I can`t tolerate this anymore after what Nakajimas do to my father.
You throw the glass of wine you`re holding in the wall staining it red, your hands holding tight the table with fire eyes in your eyes throwing daggers anger, guilt, and sorrow that`s all you can feel right now.
"It`s hard to enter that place unless you`re a guess they will let you in mostly couples. So, we need you and Jaehyun to pretend like the two of you are a couple" Jeno spoke you`re about to complain but Johnny already did.
"Couple!? them!?" he exclaimed.
"Yeah, anything wrong with that?" Jeno questioned.
"Nothing" he responded almost whining.
The whole planning already finishes and you`re in your room with Johnny laying in your bed comfortably tossing around.
"I don`t get it out of all people in this house why you and Jaehyun?" Johnny complains while you dry your hair.
"There`s nothing wrong with that plus I think Jaehyun kinda look handsome" you try to test the water and how he would react.
"Yeah, right whatever do whatever you want"  Johnny rolled his eyes and you giggled at his response.
"Jealous now are we?" you teased.
"Me Jealous? no way" he said facing the other side of the bed.
"How about we date? I mean it`s not like we`re blood-related we can easily cut ties and we can announce it for the world to know after we make the Nakajimas fall. Sounds good yeah? no?" you ask him seriously and he faces you.
"Really? like for real? but I`m 2 years older than you thought" he said caressing your face softly.
"It`s not like we have a big age gap, why don`t we try it?" you talked scooting closer to him.
"I don`t see why not?" he replied and you smiled at him.
"Does this mean we`re official?" Johnny asks you.
"Yes, baby," you said teasingly.
"Call me that again," he said back.
"No way" you replied and he hugs you, you spend the whole night with Johnny and the two of you surely have fun. It`s doing okay until Kun decided to barge in your room without even knocking.
"We found Tajimamori Yamamoto he`s currently in Tokyo right now, Johnny we need to fly to Tokyo this might be the last chance that we have to find him," Kun said showing the taken picture of Tajimamori leaving his car.
"We`ll fly tomorrow morning we need Jungwoo to come with us, get everything ready" Johnny responds as you stay quiet.
"Go and pack your things, Kun I`ll book you a flight" you talk and Johnny looks at you before standing up.
"I`ll help you pack your things" you added and he gave you a peck on the lips.
"How many days do you think you will stay there?" you ask him.
"For at least 5 days or 7," he answered.
"Take care make sure you come back without any scars I don`t want to lose you like my dad" you softly said, caressing his face to your hands.
You helped Johnny pack his things and you already book them a flight that will leave tomorrow morning. You slept in Johnny`s room and you make sure to embrace him because you can`t see him personally for at least 5 days or 7.
You wake up without Johnny by your side instead you wake up with Doyoung and Haechan bickering outside the room door, you tried to cover your ears with the pillow but you decided that it`ll be better if you stand up and stop them.
"Finally you wake up! go and take a bath we have a lot of things to do today" Ten said pushing you to your room as you watch the house gets chaotic every second.
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"Tax evasion, Illegal drug dealing, murder, sexual assault. We can sue them by using this plus we have Tajimamori as a witness" you explain, gripping the marker your holding too hard that it makes your palms white.
"I can`t hack the system of Nakajima the file that holds their tax evasion can`t be open I need to be somewhere close to them," Ten said along with Doyoung, all of you think of a way to hack their system.
"Tremblay, Tremblay corp! we can enter Mr. Tremblay's office easily since he`s in Canada I heard that he will be back this Saturday. Mark, you can help us right? you're the only one who is closest to him" you talk as you wait for Mark`s answer.
"Yes, that`ll be easy since his secretary knows me. After that, we can finally file the case and go on, but the only problem is that Jungwoo texted me that they`re having a hard time since they land in Japan. Tajimamori seems to notice that they`re following him" Mark let out a sigh and so did you.
"Can we stop this for a moment there`s nothing but a problem here since I arrived," Mark said which makes you slightly offended at his statement?
"What did you just say?" you asked him with a stern voice.
"Look, Im tired okay?" Mark groaned.
"Neither am I but did you ever hear me complain!?" you fight back.
"Everything is not about you! not everything revolves around you so please if you don`t mind I`ll excuse myself for a moment" Mark leaves the room frustrated, he doesn`t know what`s wrong with him but he knows it`s wrong to let out his anger and frustration at you when you feel just the same way as him. He`s not been himself this fast few days because of what happened to your late father who treats him like he is his own son.
"Y`all can rest if you want, you can leave too if you want to, just say it you all know that I`m not forcing y`all into this," you speak softly before leaving the room with a small smile but deep inside you`re hurt.
You took a deep breath after leaving the room you saw Mark in the living room, you tried avoiding his gaze scared that he`s still not in the mood to talk. He`s watching the TV and you stop in your track when you heard the news, you look at the TV and you can see Wendy`s house and they blurred the body, you know it`s Wendy just by the body you know it`s her out of all people why does the world decide to be cruel to you.
"No, no, not her please tell me it`s not her" you broke down in tears as Mark catches you in his arms, you fell to your knees as your sobs et louder while Mark tries to comfort you. Jaehyun watch what`s happening in front of him, he does feel bad for you. You ran upstairs and grab your keys going outside with others trying to prevent you from leaving.
"Y/n, stop!" Mark`s hold your wrist while you look at him with teary eyes.
"No, Mark I have to see my best friend please, please let go" you remove his grip and he stays quiet as he watches your small figure enter your car.
You arrived at the hospital where you see your best friend's cold and pale body.
"How can they be so heinous!? why do they have to kill you!?" you cry in front of your best friend`s lifeless body.
"Just let it out" you look at the person beside you and it`s Jaehyun, did he follow you? you wiped your tears away standing back up.
"Why did you follow me?" you asked.
"Because you`re not in the right condition right now and I know there`s a lot more going on in your minds" you look at him, his side profile is surely attractive and also comforting.
"Thank you Jaehyun I know I just met you personally last week but I mean it" you spoke softly and he smiled, facing you, he holds you by your shoulders crouching down a little making an eye to eye level.
"It`s okay, I know you for a year now because of the investigation thingy I hope that doesn`t make you uncomfortable that I brought that up," He said showing his attractive smile.
"Forget about the couple thingy that we have to pretend I already talk to Mark, just like what he said earlier we can easily enter Mr. Tremblay`s office so try to worry less okay?" Jaehyun tries to comfort you as much as he can. The two of you go around the town making you forget about everything, you wish you can be with Johnny at a time like this but you know he`s in Japan.
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Three days have passed and you grew closer with Jaehyun, you expect Johnny to arrive tonight because they finally persuade Tajimamori to be the witness.
It`s past midnight and still no sign of Johnny so you decided to wait a little more until you just decided to go to bed and welcome him tomorrow morning.
"Babe? baby wake up" you slightly open your eyes because you feel someone poking your cheeks, your eyes are still blurry so can`t see the person clearly.
"Johnny?" you whispered.
"Yeah, it`s me sorry for waking you up I just need to hear your voice" you smile at his sweetness before going back to sleep.
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"Go inside I`ll wait here," Mark said, looking left to the right to check if anyone sees you and Jaehyun entering.
"Doyoung, Ten? we`re in" you said connecting the device they gave you to the pc. They started doing what they have to do as you watch closely when you can feel the cold metal in your neck.
"Jaehyun, what are you doing?" freezing at your position.
"Nothing, it`s just so funny how you trust me so easily Y/n" He let out a chortle.
"What do you really want?" you question with your eyes close.
"I`m the one who should ask you that, you said you want revenge but your revenge is too boring why don`t we spice it up a bit hmm?" Jaehyun spoke while you stay still.
"What do you want me to do then? Kill Takara?" you don`t where you get that kind of braveness because these days you`ve been down.
"Exactly, how about we do that just the two of us?" Jaehyun removes the blade that threatening to cut your skin.
Doyoung and Ten finish what they`re doing and you leave the building along with Mark, everyone that there`s something very different from how you`re acting since you leave the building but they didn`t mention it.
"Make sure to keep your promise" you whispered at Jaehyun.
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"I love you" Johnny whispered at you.
"I love you too," you said back.
"I want the world to know that you`re mine, you want that too baby?" Johnny said kissing your neck, softly marking you.
"Johnny please," you said with temptation in your voice.
"Please what baby?" Johnny asked you with a seductive voice.
"I want you inside me, I want you to touch me and make me feel so good" you whine making him let out a breathy chuckle at your eagerness.
"Will do princess" he answered.
That night you and Johnny take your time with feeling each other as if there`s no tomorrow for it.
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After that night you have been very distant to Johnny and almost everyone in the house can perceive it. You want to distance yourself because you don`t want him to be hurt so it`ll be better this way, it`s better this way. You keep convincing your day every single day that almost every day you argue with him because that`s the only way you can push him away, you want him not to love you anymore.
Today you saw Johnny with a girl and you can`t help but get jealous but what can you do? he`s still your boyfriend. Of course, you will get jealous but why now when you`re pushing him away.
"I told you already she`s an old colleague! nothing more!" Johnny said with a pissed voice.
"Yeah right, an old colleague who loves touching you did you even see yourself earlier you just let her!" you fight back with a loud voice that the boys outside can hear the two of you arguing.
"What kind of boyfriend do that!?" you continued.
"Woah, then what kind of girlfriend accused his own boyfriend of cheating when it`s not even real!" Johnny retorted making you quiet because it`s true and you don`t have anything about that.
"See? I`m right you keep pushing me off! you can`t even look me in the eyes these days and it`s making me sick, thinking what I have done to make you act like this. It`s so fucking tiring!" he retorted as he slammed the door when he leaves your room.
Everyone keeps themselves busy as if they never heard the argument between you and Johnny. Yes, they`re shocked about the relationship between you and him but it`s not their business to interfere.
You cry yourself to sleep while Johnny gets drunk to sleep, tomorrow is the day where you`re gonna meet up with Jaehyun in the place where the two of you talked about.
"I don`t get it! she keeps pushing me away and it hurts! do you know what I`m fucking saying Jaehyun!?" He said drinking beer to beer nonstop as Jaehyun watch his friend get drunk not even stopping him but why?
"Just give her some time maybe she`s tired" Jaehyun responded.
"I always do that but why is it not enough!?" Johnny cried out.
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"Envious causes jealousy and jealousy causes hatred, hatred turns Treacherous causing sins to one another," you said letting out a sarcastic chortle. 
"Revenge, you said you want your revenge and I`m more than happy and dreadful to help you" his eyes are flaming and burning fire the beast inside him threatening to come out as anger forms and creeps inside him.
"I`m still not satisfied" you retorted emphasizing each word that is coming out of your lips. 
"You drag me into this, this heinous sin that you`ve started is burning inside me. Now, everything doesn`t satisfy me anymore" you yelled the tension getting thicker and thicker. 
"Even though you`re gonna kill me you will get nothing, justice is in my palms in this accursed world," Takara intruded your arguing with Jaehyun, writhing her tied body on the chair. 
"Kill me!" Takara said shooting you a bloodshot glare that only makes your enjoyment alive as you slowly walk towards her with a gun in your hand. 
"Takara, Takara, Takara, you see this? this Russian pistol is what I`m going to use to kill you so don`t try me. Now, what part of your body should I shoot first? back of the head, chest, or maybe your mouth it`ll be more enjoyable that way honey. Oh, another idea maybe I should just strangle you to death" you give her face a few taps on her cheeks the leer in your eyes never leaving hers while she hitches her breath scared that any minute you can pull the trigger on her. 
"You have no conscience, do you?" Takara spoke again with a smirk forming on her lips making you more annoyed and tempted to kill her. 
"Of course I don`t, because you know what? It`s a pity the law doesn`t allow me to be merciful that`s what Javert said in Les Miserables and that`s literally me right now you Figlio di puttana!" you cursed breathily giving her a devilish grin making her slap you with her one free hand holding your face you glare at her, anger building up inside you. 
"Merde! do that again and I`ll kill you!" you hold her side to side eyes widening but Takara only laughs at you and you slap her too before you turn your back at her. 
"fuzakeru na! kill me so you can live longer and live in sorrow, happiness doesn`t exist in the world we`re born but the pain does" she shout with anger in her voice and now she reaches your limit.
"I know, want me to end your pain? then I will, I`ll make sure you suffer and Roth in hell! I will let you know what it feels like to be ripped every single day just like what you did to my best friend when she`s the only one who can understand me in this accursed world! you won`t be here if isn`t for your family`s greed, jealousy, and hatred towards mine!" You shout back pointing the gun at her turning back around to face her.
"A fanabla! Takara" you pull the trigger and shoot her straight at her chest making you fell on your knees with tears brimming in your eyes.
"Why am I even crying?" you wiped your tears away as you slowly stood up and spit to your side. 
"You want it, you get it. Ciao Takara" you laugh smirk is drawn on your lips as you walk out of the abandoned place with Jaehyun while whistling like a psycho.
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"Nice shoot out there" you`re startled by Jaehyun`s voice you thought Johnny was the one using your bathroom but when you turned around you`re eye to eye with Jaehyun water droplets falling from his abs with a towel covering his torso down.
"What the fuck are you doing here!?" you said eyes widening.
"Using your bathroom obviously" he answered coming closer to you.
"and who permitted you to use it!? get out!" you pushed him away but he put his shirt back on luckily his wearing his shorts under his towel only to come closer dangerously close that you can feel his hot breath panning to yours.
You back away until the back of your knees hit the bed making you fall with Jaehyun hovering above you, you know this is wrong and you need to stop Jaehyun.
"Stop!" you keep moving away from him but before you can push him the door suddenly burst open with Johnny looking at the two of you his eyes screaming anger, jealousy, hate, and sadness he feels betrayed. He drops the bouquet on the floor grabbing Jaehyun by his collar.
"I trusted you, you bastard!" Johnny was about to throw a punch on Jaehyun when you stop him.
"Baby no it`s not like that, it`s not what you think it is" you plead, holding his arms.
"So, this is the reason why you`ve been so distant to me lately huh?" Johnny glares at you, this is the first time you see him this fuming mad.
"What the fuck!? of course not!" you defended.
Within a second he throws a punch at Jaehyun which Jaehyun gives back at him you tried to stop them but they are much stronger compared to you.
"Johnny please stop" you shout at them making them stop from gripping each other.
Johnny fixes his clothes giving you a painful glance before leaving, why the fuck are you crying when Johnny is the one in pain right now. You quickly follow him not giving a fuck about Jaehyun.
"Johnny please wait, listen to me please, just please" you plead as you grab a hold of his wrist there`s also a tear escaping his eyes which breaks you more.
"Stop! stop okay? I don`t need any of your explanation" he said coldly before shutting the door of his room.
You stand there dumbfounded with your eyes brimming in tears you go back to your room Jaehyun is trying to apologize but it angers you more, irritating you more, hurting you more.
"Get the fuck out of my sight!" you exclaimed as you push him away.
"I don`t want your apology, your sorry won`t fix anything okay!? now live me the fuck alone!" you`re livid and you`re in your pain. Why are you always the one receiving the pain?
Jaehyun doesn`t say anything anymore leaving you alone, you cried your eyes out. You lost your father, you lost wendy, you lost Johnny. What else do they want to take away from you? sometimes you just wanna sleep and get deep in it so you will never wake up in this realm.
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"Johnny listen to me! what you saw there is nothing I swear please, just please at least talk to her. I`m sorry" Jaehyun rub his face using his palms out of stress and frustration while guilt is creeping up in his body.
"Quit with your bullshits! what do you want me to do? believe you after you deceive me by using Y/n? do you think I didn`t know that the two of you killing Takara? Well, fuck this because Y/n didn`t really kill her! It`s Kun" Johnny retorted. Well, Jaehyun is not shocked about Kun killing Takara since he`s an International agent. He glares at Jaehyun who`s speechless at his older friend's outburst.
"Okay, that shit is on me but don`t let it out on her for fuck sake Johnny the one you witness earlier is not what you think it is! I use her bathroom and decided to tease her not seduce her" A sigh escape Johnny`s lips throwing his head back out of mixed emotion.
"Get out I need some time alone" Johnny spoke without looking at his friend, he let his body fall on the mattress running his hands to his face.
You`ve been lying in your bed for a few hours now and so did Johnny making everyone worried and they didn`t even see a single glimpse of Jaehyun. You`re ashamed so ashamed to talk and face them, you`re the one who plans this revenge but you end up ruining it. Of course, you know it`s not you who kill Takara, you heard it from Johnny and there`s nothing more to deny it.
You really want to see him, you really want to feel him, you really want to apologize. Gathering your courage getting a little bit shameless you got up from your bed opening the door you flinch slightly when you see Johnny standing in front of you, his fist in the air maybe he's about to knock? there`s an awkward tension between the two of you. His eyes that full of love every day is now emotionless.
"D-do you want to come in?" you manage to let out but he didn`t say anything.
He cups your face landing his soft lips on yours pulling you back inside your room. He closes the door using his feet, you pull away from him avoiding his intense gaze. He softly touches your chin making you look at him before kissing you again this time it`s passionate and slow. You want him to stop, you really do but you can`t resist him. Within a moment you`re kissing him back too.
A soft moan escapes your lips as you and Johnny let your body fall on the mattress. Johnny hovering above you makes you feel small underneath him it awaken your inner desires. Johnny leaves traces of wet kisses on your neck making you yearn for his touch. He removes his shirt and so did you, throwing it somewhere in the room.
Tongues pressed together in a hot open-mouthed kiss as he kneaded your breast his other hands slowly making it`s way to your clothed core slowly removing it he rub your sensitive clit.
He stops for a moment before pulling away making you whine lightly at the sudden loss of contact. He removes his pants and boxer tossing it somewhere in the room again before positioning himself in between your legs, pushing in slowly his thrust is deep and slow making you moan in pleasure.
"I-I`m sorry" you let out breathily.
His thrust getting a little bit faster making you grip the sheets as he buried his face at the crook of your neck. You know this will be the last time you can feel him this close to you, the last time you can feel his love for you, the last time he will make you feel loved.
"D-don`t stop please" you stuttered out as tears fall from your eyes.
"Don`t cry you know it hurts me too" he kisses your tears away, his thrust getting sloppy as you can feel yourself about to reach your orgasm.
"Baby I`m gonna cum" you moaned gripping him tightly throwing your head back.
"Neither am I, cum for me," he said softly.
He goes to the bathroom to clean you up and getting a shirt in your closet which is his shirt.
"Is this the last time?" you asked him as he slid the shirt in your body before covering you with the blanket.
"Please, I`m sorry. I`ll do anything for you just please don`t leave me you know you`re the only one I have" you cried. You know you still have the others who treat you like their own sister but Johnny is different.
"Y/n our love it`s not just about holding on sometimes it`s about letting go too it`s treacherous if we love each other in this time it can lead to something else" He manages to speak despite of the lump forming in his throat. You sob in his shoulder clutching his shirt not wanting to let go.
"You need to rest, I want you to close your eyes until you heard the door close. Promise me to not open it" you nodded removing your grip on his shirt, you softly lay in your bed. Johnny kissed you on the forehead, you cry more when you can`t feel his warmth close to you anymore.
You heard the soft click of the door closing, you keep your promise you didn`t open your eyes. The memories you made with him flashes in your mind as you fall asleep.
Johnny stops midway before getting his luggage in his room "I love you" he whispered while looking at your room`s door. Proceeding to do his thing with tears brimming out of his eyes.
It`s currently 2:00 AM now and Jaehyun is accompanying Johnny to the airport.
"I`m sorry for what I`ve done I didn`t mean it as that" Jaehyun asks for forgiveness which Johnny gives back with a smile.
"It`s really not your fault and not Y/n`s fault I really have to do this" Johnny said but Jaehyun didn`t get it.
"Do you really have to leave?" Jaehyun asks once again Johnny nodded before leaving his friend alone the smile on his face quickly fades away as sadness took over it.
“I let go because I want you to hold on a little more longer I`ll promise to be back” Johnny said while tears slowly fall from his eyes, looking at the picture the two of you took together.
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‘It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves’ - William Shakespeare
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