#someone to love who loves me back

[julijbee]

in awe of the beauty of the world

#art #tes #skyrim #sort of anyways. hes from skyrim so that is how i will classify what is going on here #teldryn sero #tes fanart #i fucking love this guy #sidetracked my quests to give him a walking tour of skyrim after his deeply endearing reaction to the college of winterhold #as someone who never used companions in all my years of playing this game i was thrilled to learn everyone likes this guy as much as i do #also he gets extra points because chitin and netch armors have my heart #the goggles send me joyous places #anyways the state of my sketchbook ever since i descended back into my tes fixation is pretty catastrophic #what with the amount of vivec happening. so look forward to that at some point i guess #ash yams.. hackle-lo.. goggles.. kwama egg.. sujamma.. cup... we are making tinctures tonight

[chihirolovebot]

on a real note that bit near the end of the video was genuinely haunting. hearing somerton talk about how gay writers are erased from history was one thing (with all the irony being that he stepped on the backs of numerous underpaid, underprivileged and uncredited queer writers to build his youtube channel) but when h revealed it wasn't even somerton's quote in the first place? the worst, most crushing sort of irony. how do you lament about the erasure of gay people and gay writers in history... whilst erasing a gay writer and taking his words as your own?

#it's genuinely unconscionable and its given me a lot to think about #i found somerton through his video essay on killing stalking #one of my favourite psychological horrors #i was overjoyed to find someone who seemed to recognise it for the dark character study of trauma and abuse that it was #and not a love story #now all i want to do is go back to that video and search up the phrases in google #to see who really wrote those words and phrases that got to me so deeply #fuck man . what a disappointment #james somerton #hbomberguy #veetxt

[kairospy]

When i say James Potter is the little spoon I mean Regulus hates having his back turned to anyone, hates having people where he can’t see them, hands on him while he’s unaware, but James loves being held at any given moment

Movie date? He’s pressed against Regulus’ side. Hanging out with Sirius? They’re essentially holding hands. He will plop down on Regulus’ lap randomly and all Regulus does is change the book to the other hand so he can play with James’ hair

#rbjp #as in by being the big spoon Regulus can control how much touch he offers #and you can’t convince me James Fleamont potter wouldn’t prefer being the litte spoon anyway #and regulus pressing kisses to James nape- #yeah no James wouldn’t give that up for shit #and Regulus would love the feeling of getting to hold onto James #this man who never stays still for a second postivekymelting the moment Regulus’ arms are around him #and James would feel so *safe* #having this guy who’d snap someones neck for breathing wrong at his back? #he’s never felt (and been) safer in his life #jegulus #james potter #starchaser #sunseeker #marauders #regulus black #regulus x james #regulus black x james potter #dead gay wizards #slytherin skittles #the pantheon #sirius black #r.a.b #marauders headcanon #james potter hc #regulus black headcanons

[ruporas]

all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)

#nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #let me know if there's any other tags i need to use!!! not sure if it counts as gore #ruporas art #*vash voice* YOU ARE NOT WRONG/LOST WOLFWOOD!!!!!! #i think very often about ch 49 where wolfwood thought it was fr over for him for that brief moment. he was already bearing with so much #fatigue that it wasn't going to be enough for him to fight back properly.. and ough... augh..... for the first time after bearing that cros #someone saved him. someone saved himmmm AUGHHHH <-- guy who can't be normal about it even though its been 7 months since i read it #but he's suffered alone for so long and continued to do so because it's all he ever knew in those short years #and its devastating. his one and only desire was simple and it was still difficult for him to reach T_T #anyway... i love him... holds him tenderly in my palms

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

ORV is about enduring the horrors in real time.

(for @everyonesfavoritebastard)

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #I read a few arcs of ORV a few years back so I am at least loosely familiar with the characters and premise. #ORV dares ask the question: “what if you finally met your beloved blorbo who helped you cope through the horrors - and he *hates you*” #The reversal of what most people feel about some of their blorbos (love them but would never want to meet someone like that in person) #I would love to keep reading orv but it is very long and I already promised to finished like...3 other shows and several books. #my gesture of affection is consuming the media my friends care about. Alas I have none who are into orv to motivate me. #Also hey there raffle winner everyonesfavouritebastard - you gave no prompt at all so I took a random swing based on ur pfp and blog #I hope you like kim dokja! I am terribly sorry if you meant to leave a prompt and something glitched #EDIT: Found out raffle winner everyonesfavouritbastard didn't know it was a raffle. Homie...I'm So Sorry. #Now I *really* hope you like Kim Dokja. #You're so valid; I too would be mesmerized by the beauty of stackedbird's lovely little apple art.

[tigrrliily]

They are my roman empire

Someone asked me for the details in this one…so here you go enjoy the pain🥲

I wish I had the time to draw more again but university is forcing me to actually work…so here you go, enjoy our tragic love bugs

#sad little man #him trying to fix the photos even broke me…and I’m the one who drew it #someone give him a hug #don’t worry babe he is only on vacation #in azkaban… #but he will be back! #but not for long tho… #yeah…yeah give him a hug #fanart #marauders #marauders era #wolfstar #sirius black #dead gay wizards #dead gay wizards from the 70s #remus loves sirius #remus lupin #sirius being sirius

[threestripeslider]

Tired: Rise!Splinter is a neglectful and awful father who doesn’t care about his kids >:(

Wired: Rise!Splinter’s negligence comes from a place of deep trauma that he’s carried with him his whole life – losing his mother, having been betrayed by the love of is life, being imprisoned and forced to fight for his life, used as an experiment and subsequently being mutated and losing his whole identity as a person – and while it certainly doesn’t excuse his behavior, there is no doubt that this man loves his sons fiercely despite his own shortcomings and perhaps it is exactly that love and care that causes him to keep his children at arms length in hopes to spare them his family’s cursed legacy that grooms them into martyrs and are thus destined to die young, a sacrifice for the greater good that Splinter is never willing to make even if it means forfeiting the world to the Shredder. Splinter’s journey of fatherhood began by being completely unprepared as a fresh young single father of four young children that depend on him to survive and there is no surprise he’s hit almost every bump there possibly is when raising a child but never in his life has Splinter ever blamed or resented his children in any way – he is not perfect and he’s aware and he tries to do better all because he loves his kids this fucking much bc despite all the shit he’s been through, those kids made him realize that he can try again. to dismiss him as an awful father is a gross mischaracterization of a deeply traumatized man of color who evidently tried his fucking hardest not to pass on the hurt onto his own children while grappling with his own demons and the crushing destiny of his family’s blood line that took away his mother.

#rottmnt #hamato yoshi #hamato splinter #turtle files: meta #guys i am so unwell about him #he's literally so!! i love he!!! #this guy's been to hell and back and yet!! and yet!! here is still!! #HERE IS STILL!! RAISING KIDS!! #HE KNOWS FUCK ALL BUT THEY DEPEND ON HIM AND THAT IS ENOUGH #i need to lie down #i am literally so [starts wailing sobbing crying] #the next omo chapter's gonna be a doozy boys #anyway dont mind me #teh number one splinter defender #KSJSJKBDBKJDBJKF #I JUST FEEL A LOT ABOUT HIM OKAY #as someone who comes from an asian family with generational trauma... #bro. BRO.

[bamsara]

hey did you know you're the #1 kudos fic in Fnaf? congrats!

hi this is actually terrifying

#im gonna be real with you #i havent really been looking at hits or kudos because i just pay attention to comments and they get sent directly to my email #last time i remember someone showed me it was on the first page but i kinda #forgot #lmao #anyway remember to read non-dca centered fics to give the rest of the fandom and other creators love #gonna telepathically send this image to 2015 me who was writing fnaf fanfiction on wattpad back in the day

[essektheylyss]

I keep lingering on the fact that Chetney says that the only thing left when he came home was toys, because on its face it's such a strange detail.

He says it as though he feels like it was an indication that his family left the one thing that was associated with him, that he cared about, that he has essentially crafted his whole identity around, which indicated to him that they were left there because the family didn't want them—and by extension, didn't want him.

But what if there was something else? What if he'd misinterpreted? What if they were trying to leave them as a point of connection, like a coded note that they were thinking about him as they fled? What if a misunderstanding left Chetney alone for his entire life, and it was entirely his fault?

It's like, god, his confession feels so concrete (in a way that Travis is very good at when talking around backstory) such that it really starkly outlines what he doesn't say. And gnomes live such long lives that, yes, you could have relatives walk in and out of your life with some regularity and spend a lot of time independent and distant without ever severing the connection, and it doesn't feel like the circumstances in the family were so bitter that the family cared so little as to simply abandon him entirely, at least not without extenuating circumstances.

I just keep thinking about it and the more I think about it the more I want to know what happened, because there's something else there—but the thing is, a large part of Chetney as a character is that sometimes you do feel such resentment for so long that by the time you even think to reconsider, things (or people) have changed or passed, and there isn't always a satisfying answer to be had.

#kinda like. opposite of fjord actually. #with fjord you have the idea that you can change and things can change but sometimes you CAN go back and find someone who loved you #anyway like. yeah I keep thinking about how much the vibe also feels like how essek talks about his family. #just so distant and very much the black sheep of the family but there's still genuine caring even if there's not understanding #I do think about longevity so much okay. do not get me started about long-lived characters I will not stop #critical role #cr meta #chetney pock o'pea #cr spoilers

[buwheal]

BEACH OUTFIT 💥💥💥💥

He used to surf the web back in 98'.

#the clothes were so difficult for no reason i kept having to edit them #i actually really like this one lol #cunty uncle type thing going on #Also i love the HC that he as a plush tummy thats so cute and im stealing it #i was about to give him flipflops until i realized he cant do that #He had a dolphin print shirt but it looked ugly with the shorts and i really wanted the striped shorts lol #deltarune spamton #spamton #spamton g spamton #spamton fanart #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #i think it looks fine but still i hope it comes across he's resting his right arm on an invisible prop for the pose lol #there was a small little fella in the back of my mind who wanted to put him in a two piece but i couldnt sorry lmfao #edit: I forgot to write this out but I wanted to put it on any post bc i dont want to post a txt post just for this #but honestly he's gotta be some flavor of queer. #It doesnt matter to me which type all that much but I HC that even though he probably is #he has never been in a relationship and i dont think he ever will #he is so full of himself and he's kind of an ass tbh. That and i doubt he trusts anyone with what he's gone through #even if he got time to heal i dont think he'd ever trust someone enough to make a real relationship that way #Thats it thanks for coming to my ted talk #if you opened the tags here's your secret paragraph & im not sorry #BuwheArt

[twelvemonkeyswere]

watching more of Ace and 7th, I'm delighted by their unmatched dynamic:

the Doctor built a gigantic weird grey square thing to substitute Ace's boombox, which was destroyed by the Daleks (awww)

while spying on some nazis, Ace sneezes. the Doctor immediately fakes bird sounds so nobody suspects there's a human there

when Ace sprained an ankle, the Doctor adamantly insisted on helping her himself and gave her a small speech about how she has to take care of herself

while spying on the nazis, the Doctor asked Ace if she ignored his instructions and has explosives in her backpack. she says she's "a good girl" and does as she's told, so he says "excellent, blow that vehicle up." she's SO thrilled about it

Ace has defended the Doctor with all her heart every time someone accuses him of something because that's her Professor and she rescued him from the street and gave him a forever home. she defended him even though he refused to explain his past and a cryptic lady teased that the Doctor had deep secrets that couldn't be revealed without grave consequences, and there were hints that he was involved in the creation of Gallifrey in the Time of Chaos. Ace said "fuck the lot of you this is my old weird little guy go find your own" and stood her ground

Ace made friends with a girl in a town who had her exact same energy. they began talking about nitroglycerine so Ace told her they should talk outside. when her new friend asked why, Ace said "he gets upset when I talk about explosives" loud enough for the Doctor to hear her laugh. he let her go without another word

in that same episode, Ace meets another female soldier who was now commanding Brigadier, as well as Brigadier Stewart's wife. They all went out on a girl's night, leaving the house chores to their respective male companions. The Doctor was beaming at the women while leaving and very cheerily said he'd cook something for the men left behind

sometimes the Doctor is trying to figure something out and Ace chimes in to ask questions that prove the Doctor has been teaching her about physics

the 7th is very vocally anti-war and anti-violence yet has immediately resorted to death threats the moment someone's even sniffing at Ace. I've seen him use a sword, several types of guns, and maybe a bomb? All to prevent Ace from being slightly threatened

Ace accidentally destroyed a madman's lab while being attacked by some creatures. The scientist was all "YOU RUINED MY LIFE'S WORK" and the Doctor turned proudly to Ace and said "that's my girl"

one time they sat at a bar and Ace tried to order alcohol. the Doctor growled a warning "Aceeeee" and she sheepishly changed it for a lemonade

the Doctor boops Ace's nose several times as a sign of affection, and Ace smiles and accepts it, which I'm CERTAIN she would never take from anyone else

Ace has repeatedly dragged the Doctor around when he was being stubborn, sometimes even using his own umbrella, which I'm CERTAIN he would never take from anyone else

the Doctor keeps sending Ace places where she will be out of harm's way and Ace keeps finding direct and indirect ways to put herself in harm's way, which makes the Doctor then run after her to help her. this is literally what most episodes are about.

Ace repeatedly refuses help and compliments, but never from the Doctor. she also talks with insolence to most adults she encounters, but never to the Doctor, even when she's angry or talking back to him

the Doctor encourages Ace to be brave about her fears. there are very few things that truly scare Ace and make her feel insecure, and he is honest about what makes him scared and insecure, to show her he wants her to get through this

one time they had to return a magic sword to its place, and they were doing a ritual about it. Ace, who took it out in the first place, held the sword insouciantly to put it back and the Doctor says "Ace, don't you have a sense of the moment? this is important" and Ace just flatly says "no" and smashes the sword back

after a long day of being hunted down by creatures the Doctor paces around to monologue and when he turns to Ace, she's fallen asleep on a couch. so he smiles and gently pats her cheek with the back of his hand

truly the most duo of all time

#i love that he's very aware this gremlin child picked him as her Designated Adult and he's very gleefully taking care of her best he can #most of the time the job is to hold Ace back but more importantly #the job is to know when *not* to hold Ace back #when someone told me Ace was his daughter I thought they were exaggerating but truly this is His Child #doctor who #classic who #7th doctor

[ruporas]

lonely

[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”

The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”

The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"

The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."

The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"

The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"

The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"

The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."

The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in #the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when #they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves #humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was #young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly #here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos #really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him #in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save. #in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who #knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day #theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together. #trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only #be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back #to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma. #ruporas art

[zxal]

So you guys have just been coping with this since 2019. Okay.

#yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #vrains #'now i understand that definition. i loved you.' OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i need to go back and listen again but i'm like 95% sure that the word that gets translated as 'people' can also mean 'someone' #ai means to love someone. i loved you. #vrains spoilers I GUESS? SORRY I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE FOLLOWING ME WHO HAVENT WATCHED VRAINS #BUT IT'S ALSO BEEN OUT FOR 4 YEARS. IDK. #i've been steadily processing this for the past three days straight. i admittedly wasn't crazy about vrains' last season but good lord #i didn't expect the finale to grab me and shake me violently about like that. you guys really live like this?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #a-qing #The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing #They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope #Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses? #A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot' #Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population. #a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent. #Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually. #through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known? #The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan #So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help #Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative? #What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia) #Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back. #(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)

[icewindandboringhorror]

#cats #outing myself once again as someone whos not attune whatsoever to human culture but - in all honesty I do not know #what 'psspsspss' means despite loving cats my entire life hghj.. I've just seen people online describe that as how you call a cat #but I have never in my life witnessed someone call a cat by making that noise or made that noise myself. I can't even think of an example o #it so I genuinely don't even know what that's supposed to be but. Included because I've seen it so much it must be something to someone #even when I was a kid I pretty much always just meowed to cats and tried to sound exactly like them or whatever meow I associated with them #obviously not literally saying “ME OW” but doing an actual cat meow. often times a kind of 'prrrow' sort of noise where you trill your tong #ue then lead into a softer vocal tone .. maybe like 'mrrrrauh' or something? Or sometimes just a trilling chirp immitating the #cat's ''mrrrrp'' they do sometimes. I used to mimic small kittens to get the attention of cats #with their like very high pitches squeky whine with a little bit of air out the nostrils at the end to imitate the sound of them having #tiny lungs that don't hold much air so with a long loud 'mew' it's sometimes a little strained near the end #Though usually I just imitate the cat that I'm around at the time. Sometimes I have done kind of a combination kissy lip sort of noise #tongue clicking. almost like tapping on the back of your front teeth with your tongue and sucking in. almost makes kind of a squirrel noise #ANYWAY... curiouse....

[just-null-cult]

Kokichi, similar to Noritoshi in the sense that they're analytical and kinda tsun, but that's mostly it. This is another Megumi and Noritoshi situation where, on the surface, they appear to be very similar, but you squint and realize they're extremely different.

Whereas Noritoshi isn't as bold because he still holds remnants of pride, Kokichi is just shy about it since it's so new. He won't back down from it, just hesitate.

[Long ass rambles under the cut! + bonus doodles.]

When referring to shyness, Kokichi leans into the awkward and stiff type. There's always confusion and slight fear in his eyes when he's experiencing something new or romantic. He doesn't want to mess up, but if he does, he just hopes it works in his favor.

Being born in a body where he was under constant pain and stress, someone touching him was the last thing he wanted. He'd never known the loving touch of another because the heavens decided he wasn't allowed to.

After meeting you, that yearning to be next to you became too much. To hell with his restrictions. He'd to do whatever it takes to be able to be with you even if he had to sacrifice others to do it.

In retrospect, he feels like he should've done it sooner. Being touched or even grazed doesn't feel like his skin is falling off anymore.. Plus having both arms and working legs is always a good thing. It's new and odd, but not terrible. His mind never once wandered back and regretted those he's thrown under the bus because why would it?

Unfortunately, when his body was being healed, Mahito made him healthy.. and that's all. Knowing Mahito, he'd leave Kokichi to struggle with catching up to the rest of his peers by working for his own stamina, weight, and strength from square one. Though Kokichi isn't complaining much about it. He'd still take this rather than being stuck in that god forsaken tub for a second longer.

He used to hate being fussed over because of his illness. He prefers to do things on his own and now he can. Yet, Kokichi still gets pitiful looks on other's faces when he's too weak to carry something. It makes him want to spit at them, he can use Mechamaru to do his heavy lifting for now. He doesn't need a beefed up body to do it.

Unless you're the "beefed up" one fussing over him.. He doesn't mind it when it's you. In fact, Kokichi feels grateful when it's you, endeared even. He never feels belittled or pitiful when its you.. Only you.

Judging by how he treated panda for having the ability to interact with others in person despite being a cursed corpse, Kokichi has a number of insults and creative verbal abuse he's ready to spew out once someone tries getting a little too close to you. Scratch that, he's rude in general to those he isn't familiar with.

Kokichi has a lot of anger for those he deems ungrateful. What do you expect from someone who thought he was gonna rot in a bathtub for the rest of his life to do? Not harbor resentment? Luckily, he holds just as much, if not more, love for you who he's unbelievably grateful for!

Your affection is so odd to him, a new experience that he never knew he could grow to yearn for. It's not terrible, quite the opposite. It's so wonderful he can't get enough. Every time you're around, he wants to have at least one hand on you at all times. Doesn't matter where, just as long as he feels you're around. Safe to say, he's extremely touch starved.

Oh how Kokichi would drop everything for a walk with you. He'd use every Mechamaru he had just to make sure no one disturbs either of you. Murder is just a side effect if they get too persistent. He just wants to spend time with you!

Though he likes walks, he still gets out of breath easily. Walking is nice, but he still needs time to get used to it. Offering to help will only cause him to lean against you, it's not too difficult, he doesn't weigh much for better or worse. He loves when you lend him a hand, it's just another reason to get close to you.

When you part, it's only natural that Kokichi gifts you a little trinket he made. Rejecting it will only reward you with the most devastated frown, so just accept it. If you get rid of it when coming home, it somehow always finds its way back to you? Destroying it will lead to Kokichi giving you another one.

Yes, it follows and watches you, but it's just to keep you safe! Who knows what could happen. Whether or not the little trinkets are subtle, all depends on how you reacted to him asking if it was alright to know your location at all times when he's not around. Kokichi is understanding if you're not okay with it. He'll just make his gifts extra subtle so you wont know he's watching.

He just wants to be by your side constantly, even if he's not able to be there in person. Watching you through a screen gives him a sickly familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it's better than not knowing what you're doing. He can even pick up little things about you this way for when he sees you next time! This is nothing but a win-win in his mind even if others beg to differ.

Kokichi never felt blessed. Not once since the day he was born, not until he found you. You who he feels is truly a gift from the heavens. You who he would give up everything to have. In a way, Kokichi is delusional. He sees you as the reason he got a heavenly restriction. It was as if other worldly forces tried to keep him at bay from pursuing you, but you're also the reason he broke his restrictions. He now has the body he wished for thanks to you, his drive, his motivation, his purpose, his love.

[extra shit]

Kokichi’s so fucking low key about being a chuunibyou. you're telling me he named his mech after an anime he watched. half his attacks have ultimate or ultra in the name.. HE MADE A FUCKING MECH. Your ass can't tell me he didn't watch anime while growing up and got inspired to make it a reality. He probably watched Evangelion or something.. Woah, anime dates with him where he makes your favorite creature and uses it to his advantage.. woah.

[Bonus Kokichi verbal abuse]

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #kokichi muta #muta kokichi #kokichi muta x reader #muta kokichi x reader #mechamaru #mechamaru x reader #jjk x reader #welcome mob kun to the cult.. im so sorry that you have to be our sacrificial lamb to these psycho's bullying #tl;dr kokichi is a little shy bc everythin is new but hes still open to everythin. hes just an obsessive freak for you ykyk #i love kokichi.......... dont you love him?? hes so good bro #can you see how hard im snorting copium to make up my au where hes alive #i had to put some yan into him BUT LISTEN TO ME IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO MAKE HIM A FREAK BRO #HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE THAT AND ITS SUCH A SHAME ITS NOT USED MORE #“there was someone who i loved. and i didnt care what happened to the world as long as i could be by her side and protect her” #“even if that girl didnt want me to be the one to protect her.” #HE WAS DOWN TO SACRIFICE THE WORLD?? MF HUH?? YOU WERE GONNA BETRAY EVERYONE BC YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FIGHT. WIN. AND FIX IT?? #AND YOU WOULD FR STILL BE THERE EVEN IF THE ONE YOU LOVED DIDNT LIKE YOU BACK??? #DUDE????? #WHAT THE FCUK KOKICHI WHAT THE FUCKKKKK #ong idk if theres a handful of kokichi enjoyers out there or its one person asking for him specifically but i see you... #i'll feed you my starving cult member..... #THIS IS THE ONE I POSTED ON ACCIDENT SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY AND MISHAP ANON. I LOVE YOU. #shout out to salsamander who caught me slacking #im not sorry for the LowTierGod reference