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#something I’ve been thinking about
lhazar · 6 months
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I was thinking again about my feelings regarding the Targaryens and the family dynamic in hotd but the sum of it really boils down to how Visery’s love is Rotten. It creeps into the cracks of everything—poisoning Rhaenyra and Alicent against one another, and then their children and the rest of the kingdom. Love in this show isn’t a pure and lovely thing but a wound and a weakness and the reason for so much tragedy. And that’s true for much of the Targaryen line. They are rotten. They might be beautiful to the eye and they have ancient blood that lets them ride dragons but that control is an illusion and their insistence on keeping the bloodline pure by marrying within to the family is the most glaring instance of this rot that follows them. It’s in their bones, it’s been carried with them after the fall of Valyria, through the generations of survivors who murder and backstab one another over the iron throne, and even in the ruler describes as Viserys the Peaceful, it shows itself in his rotted skin and empty eye socket and in the rats infesting kings landing. And for the people in the crossfire, there’s really no escaping cross contamination. Where ‘I love the bones of you’ but I cannot stomach looking at what you are
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ab-arts · 1 year
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Royal Burnt
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skypiea · 1 year
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i had such a weird journey as a young artist where when I was in my mid-late teens I was exposed to the tumblr movement thats like. Very focused on “create for yourself, not others” and I do think that’s useful to keep in mind (especially when it comes to like the amount of notes/interaction you get on art and stuff) but it kinda fucked me over. bc my favorite things I’ve created have always been things that I created specifically for others. i love to do requests and gifts and make things just for one other person or a few people it tends to make me so much happier than stuff I make for myself. And because I internalized those ideas in such a misguided way I felt so guilty and like. shallow that i preferred making art for others instead of digging into my soul and making personal art. I think I’ve finally gotten past it now I’ve embraced that making art for others makes me the happiest. Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the stuff I create or that i dont sometimes make personal stuff but like. that division between creating for others and creating for myself is basically like nonexistent now. They are the same to me now I think and looking at it like that makes me feel much better as an artist
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twisted-tales-told · 7 months
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Hey if I offered tarot readings through a zoom session how many of you guys would be interested? Prices would be pretty reasonable considering it’s my day job too!
Just needing some extra money 4 those student bills!
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jinx-arcane1071 · 7 months
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The Monster
There’s a monster in my house. It comes home every day, a little after five. My siblings and I take turns watching through the window. None of us want to be caught off guard when it comes.
When it inevitably arrives, we all hide. I hide by the closet closest to the door. I either climb to the top and push a box in front of me, or I hide underneath the jackets and shoes. I’m eventually caught, and I get punished because the monster doesn’t like it when we hide. The more afraid we are the scarier it gets. I hide next time, but come out before the monster finds me. It’s better to be caught sooner than later and I know that I’m going to get caught eventually. There is no running and there is no fighting back. The monster is bigger, faster, and smarter than you. Nothing will save you.
The monster will take us out on the weekends, to show us off. It will parade us around its friends and brag about our accomplishments. The biggest thing to know for these events is to always be funny and charming. Your comfort doesn’t matter. It will then leave us and go do whatever it wants. The monster has no desire to be around us, other than for show. I was left one of us these times. It was at the beach and I ended up almost drowning. My floater drifted out and I was gone for hours. Everyone thought that I was with the monster and didn’t think to hard about it. When it came back it cared more about the trouble that I caused rather than my almost death. I was shivering and wrapped in a blanket as I was scolded and I knew that between bother the monster and death, the monster wants me to pick death. I should’ve know.
I grow but so does the monster. It evolves and figure out more tricks. It wants a reaction more than anything. It doesn’t say that we ruined its life but we know it did. It was happy before us it claim. We made them into the monster, it’s what we deserve.
After getting caught by other, the monster changes it’s tricks. It’s warns me to not let anyone know anything or else my siblings and I will be separated. I listened to it, but I shouldn’t have. I cover for the monster for years and the monster shows me affection in turn.
The monster’s affection burns. It flips in a second for seemingly no reason. Everyday day is a challenge to find out new rules and new boundaries. If I mess I get punished. The monster calls me, always reminding me how I failed, but often overly affectionate whenever I get angry enough. It still claims to love me and I foolishly believe it.
I have a closer relationship to the monster. I’m told that’s it’s because I’m easy and that makes me burn. Part of craves to be easy because I want acceptance, but I also know that there’s so much that I can’t do or else everything will go away.
As I grow older the monster breaks. It begs and pleads for me to love it at times. It calls me cold and I don’t understand, I did what it wanted me to why am I still bad. The monster doesn’t explain only insults. I’m not quite sure what i did.
The monster kicks me out. I’m underage, but it doesn’t care. It says it’s for the best, but I know that it means it’s for the best for it. It wants to leave, to start over. It wants to be happy and I know it can’t be happy with me. I can’t help but wonder why the monster decided not to kill me. It never loved me and I was delicate. If it was always going to cast me aside why did let me stay for so long. I wish it over quicker instead of being strung along all of these years. It’s dawns on me that I was never cared for. I end up resenting my existence and think that I’m broken. I can’t help but think this is my punishment. I betrayed my siblings for the monster. I originally wanted to protect them, to stay together. I craved the monster’s love too much and I was foolish. My siblings would’ve been better off leaving.
I grow and almost forget the monster (that’s a lie, I could never truly, but it’s nice to pretend). My little sister lives with the monster now, despite not for years. She calls it mother and says that it’s her best friend. I try to pretend the doesn’t hurt. The monster calls for affectionately and asks when I’ll visit. I try not to scream, but I desperately want to. There’s not a point the monster is viscous and cruel, it’ll destroy you if you upset it. I’m too tired and too afraid. I smile and say soon as if the thought doesn’t terrify me.
I think about the monster a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I’m another life, I could call it mother too. I would be genuine love me, but I try not to think about it. I recognize that the monster was human and possibly hurt too, but the more I try to emphasize with it the more it hurts. The what-ifs and possibilities are too much for me. I need to believe that the monster would always be a monster, because I’ll lose myself to the grief of what could’ve been.
My sister tells me that the monster has changed, but whoever I look at it I see the claws that would grab and I remember being afraid. I can’t tell if I’m happy or not that the monster has changed all I know is that I want it to stay away. I am too tired to try anymore, but I desperately wish that I wasn’t. I wish that I could go and be the monster. I wish that I was better and can’t help but think my inability to move on is a weakness. However, I refused to fall for the monster’s tricks anymore and decide to think of it as protecting myself. I won’t let the monster get to me anymore, even though I would like it if I could call it mother too.
The monster used to tell stories about its own monster, a lovely woman I call grandma. It tells horror stories about someone who I’ve never doubted, about someone who’s never failed to show up when it matters, about someone that came to every school event I ever had. I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be a monster to my own children. If one day I’ll instill as much fear as my mother did me. I want to believe that I’ll be different, but I see too many similarities between me and the monster. I decided to not have children, I’m too scared that I’ll continue. Maybe one day I won’t be scared, but for now I am and I know that any children that I have will never have to deal with the monster
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romansmartini · 3 months
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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships
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princess-adronitis · 1 year
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Are you able to handle rejection…
Are you able to cope with inevitable hurts , and recognize some things you just can’t protect yourself from?
Are you able to go where the love is ? And not only that but actively reject what is not for you ?
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mumblesplash · 7 months
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heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible
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universe-of-peoples · 2 months
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I think I’ve been disappointed by Super Bowl halftime shows ever since Katy Perry set the bar too high in 2015. Like, come on. The aerial entrance? The giant moving light-up tiger? Fricken Left Shark which became a meme. All the outfit changes. Like don’t get me wrong there have been some cool half-time shows since then, but not on Katy Perry’s level.
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yourtamaki · 2 months
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love of my life i believe zoro is a chronic waist grabber ….. he cant put his hands anywhere else. always an arm wrapped around you, pressing your back closer to him, or both hands keeping you planted on his face … idk why, maybe it’s because he can feel your every reaction, who knows …. <3
oh my lordddd
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he’s so handsy in general, it’s ridiculous. the second zoro’s got you somewhere even semi-private, he’s groping your chest and cupping you between your legs cause he knows how bad you need this, baby, he can smell it on you.
but for as much as his hands wander, they’ll always end up at your waist. it’s not his fault you make it so easy to grab you around your middle and manhandle you however he likes. big broad hands holding on to you, fingers digging into your soft hips like you’ll run if he lets go and he won’t let his prey get away that easy. it’s just a bonus that he can fuck into you that much harder, deeper, when he’s holding you by your waist and pulling you back to meet every stroke.
and afterwards, when you’re all fucked out and your legs are still shaky, zoro will reach for your waist again to run his hands right over where he’s marked you as his, palms warm and touch reverent. it’s not an apology for the aches and bruises you’ll no doubt have come morning but a reminder that he only gives what he knows you can take.
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avame · 6 months
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leyendecker study but make it thranto redux
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thranduel · 7 months
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some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing
when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.
BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.
you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.
apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.
that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭
but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.
obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.
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aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3
#astarion#baldur’s gate 3#bg3#sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid#he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way#especially after everything he’s been through#and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING#anyways#when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry#there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him#but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while#and i wanted to cry#he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that#honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->#in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself#and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time#and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready#but also#for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely#or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond#the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3#but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy#my posts
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yea-baiyi · 1 year
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i keep thinking about the odyssey i am THINKING about wei wuxian as odysseus. you were dead. its been years since you’ve seen your family. the child you left behind is almost a man. you wear a face they don’t recognise, you sneak in through the back door. the dog gives your identity away. the world knows it’s you when you draw your weapon. the person you love recognises you by the original symbol of your love—a secret that no one else in the world knows about, still, because they kept it safe for all these years. you get the chance to go back and despite everything, you found home waiting for you; he kept your place and raised your son and he was still there waiting for you when you got back. tell me o muse, about a complicated man i am extremely not okay
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maddymoreau · 7 months
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jarchaeology · 8 months
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when i first started this blog i got an anon saying that i shouldn’t tag jensen in my finds because it was unfair to embarrass him.
anyway, i wonder if that anon came from one of the twitter people who repost my finds without credit and get 20k views on “never before seen” pictures.
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