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#something about nessian
lucienarcheron · 2 months
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The idea that some people still think Nesta’s main traits are supposed to be bitchy, mean, and a hater…idk what to tell you but the whole point of her healing journey is to not be those things because all it did was hurt everyone around her and herself.
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duskandcobalt · 7 months
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Me when I saw a 30 slide tiktok of “elriel proof” a week after finishing acosf and then proceeded to make them my entire personality
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alicentsaegon · 1 year
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Sarah J Maas can hype up Rhysand all she wants I'm still wet for Tamlin idc
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vidalinav · 2 years
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She worked at a bookshop. 
In a tiny human town, where residence could hear the steady crash of a shore onto rocky cliffs, Cassian found Nesta here. In a bookshop, tucked away as if the books wanted to hide something precious within its tomes. 
“Are you looking for something sir?” a shop attendant called, not at all bothered by the wings that raised to let someone behind him pass. This town didn’t seem to hate fae which made his lurking easier. 
The city seemed to house them, in fact. A few, if the streets said anything about it. They were positively bare despite the snow and Cassian knew that no human contraption could have ever stopped the winter from coming when it called. 
She was dressed for winter. Nesta shifted from shelf to shelf with a scarf wrapped around her neck. It was warm in this little shop, but her cheeks and nose were red. Cassian clenched his fists together, keeping them firmly at his side. He wasn’t in any position to offer his coat, but the Mother knew, he might have lit the little shop on fire if it meant keeping her warm.
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gold-wolf-soldier13 · 10 months
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Immediate follow up to my previous post but N/essian is the perfect example imo for why people hate the “fated mate” trope so much like SJM really took the beautiful concept of two people who are meant for each other, destined to find each other in every life, compliment and complete each other, and said “but what if he hated her?” and I will never forgive her for that 😤
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ladynestaarcheron · 2 years
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A Feeling So Peculiar
ao3
Hello my loves. So I'm not sure how long this will be, only that it will be short. Ish. Basically this is Cassian helping Nesta starting from Solstice. Enjoy!
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Nesta isn't sure what enrages her more: the fact that he bought her a present but didn't even look at her in the house, or his insufferable grin as he holds it out to her in the cold.
"I don't want one," she says, reflexively. It doesn't matter what it is or that it's from him, it's that it's for Solstice. A holiday that isn't hers and never will be.
"You'll want this one," he says, tossing it in his hands as he walks in front of her.
Why should she? She doesn't want anything from him. She tells him as much.
She hears a rush of blood when he raises an eyebrow. They're both thinking of the same thing now, she knows. Of when she'd lain down to die with him. She fixes her gaze on nothing in the distance. Will that day ever leave her? Will she be forced to live in it forever?
He steps closer to her. "Please," he says, softer. "Let me keep my promise." He holds his breath after he closes his mouth, and for the first time, it occurs to Nesta that she is not living in that moment alone.
She looks down. The wrapped box is small, the size of something someone would put a ring in. For a wild moment, Nesta wonders if that's what it is--but no. There's no way.
"Here," he says, taking the books Elain had given her with his left hand and pressing the box into her palm with his right.
Nesta shudders as their hands touch, even through her gloves. Warmer than it should be. Outside, in this weather. 
"Go on," he encourages.
Wordlessly, she loosens the silver ribbon and opens the blue paper. It may very well be a wooden ring box, as its metal clasp is the same as the ones on her old jewelry boxes. Back when she owned anything.
She looks up to see him grinning. "It isn't jewelry," he says, like he can read her mind. "I got it for you. I know you never wear any jewels."
Nesta doesn't return a smile. She looks at the box again as she lifts the clasp and, after a few seconds, pushes open the box.
If it once held a pillow for a ring, it's been hollowed out, to make room for its sole occupant: the gift. 
"Do you like it?"
Nesta's eyes flicker upwards. He sounds...nervous.
Gently, she tips the box over into her hand, so the gift falls out into her palm.
"It's a book," he adds. "Because you...like to read. Not that you can read it. It's too small."
Indeed, with a spine a little more than an inch long and lettering she can only just make out on the cover. The inside must be even smaller, but she doesn't want to open it and risk destroying it. For it is precious, that much is certain. Even if she has nothing to do with it.
"It's old," he says. "It's one of the first printed books."
A burgundy cover, gold embossing. Storys of the Northe, it proclaims.
One of the first printed books. Nesta can't even guess how far back that is. Thousands of years. Thousands of years, right in her hand. It belongs in a museum. How he had even managed to procure it is beyond her.
"Well, do you like it?" he asks again.
Nesta turns the book over. There isn't an author's name. Are they alive? Whatever tiny creature had created this, eons ago?
"History isn't for liking," she says finally.
"Fine, but presents are."
She looks down at the book again. "What do you want me to say?"
"Whatever you want to say. I would hope you want to say something like, I don't know, thank you? This is so thoughtful, I can only repay you with a kiss?"
She looks up at him.
"That was a joke, Nesta."
Right.
"Look, I..." Cassian runs his empty hand through his hair. "I'll be blunt. Solstice--I know you don't celebrate it, but I do--Solstice is a time for this. For family. And...that stuff. So I wanted to do something for you. It was important to me. It's important to show people you care about them. And I know how you're stubborn and you're probably too smart for your own good and you--you never let fear stop you from doing the right things for others but you let it paralyze you when it comes to yourself, but...the fact that you like to read is the only thing I know about you that can be used for a present. So I got that book."
She parts her lips, but doesn't speak. He continues, "It wasn't exactly something I picked up from the local bookshop, Nesta. I'm not saying that to make you...I just want you to know. I don't know if you like gifts, generally, but I hope you see why I got you this one."
Does he hate her for not answering? He must.
"Look," he says again. "I know that you...I know that you're still angry at me for what happened to you in Hybern. To Elain. But I know--"
"What?"
Nesta blurts out the word so sharply that for a moment she isn't sure if she said it. Even Cassian looks surprised.
"In Hybern," he repeats, uneasily. "When you...were Made in the Cauldron."
She flinches reflexively when she hears the name of that thing, but it doesn't quell her whatever-this-is. "You think I'm angry at you for that?" Then, as she realizes what this means: "You think I blame you for that?"
Now it's Cassian's turn to be speechless.
"Well, I don't."
The words should echo, she thinks, and perhaps they do in his mind, which is why it's a full five seconds before he snaps his free hand out to hold her face. She's too stunned to pull away.
"You don't blame me for that night?"
"You were dying." What does he think of her?
"Hybern should never have gotten to you in the first place."
Nesta swallows. "I know." But Nesta doesn't lie to herself, even to make herself feel better--if Cassian or Rhysand or Feyre or any of the others had thought that there were any chance that Hybern would find them. They might have suspected that the queens were working with Hybern, but they didn't think that the queens saw any reason to offer their location. They were supposed to be irrelevant in the story. If Tamlin hadn't sought out Hybern's aid, perhaps they would still be...
"You'd never be irrelevant to me," he says, gruff.
She flushes, not realizing she had spoken aloud.
"So then why are you mad at me?"
This breaks Nesta from her stupor. She breaks away. "I'm leaving."
"No, Nesta, tell me. Talk to me." When she doesn't answer, he presses, "Tell me what's most bothering you. And why you can't come to me with it."
"I can't come to anyone with this." Her vision blurs, with rage or tears she isn't sure. What is there to say? She hates herself with every breath she takes and hates every part of her life.
"Try me. No, Nesta, listen--I swear you're not alone. I went through the war, too. And a lot more before it. And I know it's different and you're not a soldier, you didn't sign up for this. But I swear to you, Nesta, I can help. I don't want to see you go through it alone." His eyes darken. "It's never worth going through it alone."
She keeps her mouth pressed shut, fearing if she opens it, everything will come out in a scream.
"Just say the worst of it. Right now. The worst of it, and I'll prove to you I can help you."
She lets out strangled sound. "I don't know--"
"Whatever comes to mind. Just say--"
"The soldiers."
Cassian doesn't miss a beat. "Hybern's soldiers?"
"No," Nesta says, harshly, so she doesn't fall to her knees. "Yours." 
"What...did they--did someone do something--?"
She could vomit right now. "It's what I did to them."
"What you did?" he repeats, frowning. His mouth parts as his eyes widen. "Nesta. Nesta. Look at me." He drops the books Elain gave her on the snow, taking her face into his hands. His gaze burns almost enough to warm her from the cold, as he says, "You are not to blame for anyone's death, Nesta. They were not your responsibility. And you didn't know. You couldn't have known. You're the last person...and you saved my life."
Before she can speak--or not--he continues, "You know what I did when I found the place my mother died?" He doesn't wait for her to guess. "I destroyed that camp, Nesta. It was five hundred years ago and they still haven't rebuilt there. It took me ten years to work through it. Because I wasn't working through it. I was a wreck. Don't make me watch you do that to yourself. You know what that's like. You saw Elain when...so don't do that to me. Please. Please."
She doesn't realize she's started crying until Cassian moves his thumb to wipe away a tear.
"Please," he says again.
What does he want her to say?
"Just let me walk you to your apartment," he suggests.
Had she spoken aloud again? She isn't sure. 
She exhales, slipping the book back into the box and closes it. She walks. He picks up the books and joins her.
Neither of them say anything for the length of the city, not till they reach Nesta's shoddy building and she breaks their silence, softly.
"Are you coming in?" She can feel his eyes upon her, but she doesn't take hers off the box.
"Yes," he says, opening the door for them both. He lets her lead the way up the stairs and into her apartment.
"I would think you'd have nicer shelves," he says, setting Elain's books down on the coffee table. He doesn't say anything else about her decor, or rather, lack thereof. "What wood do you prefer?"
"I don't know."
"Your bedroom had oak. In--below the Wall."
Nesta opens the box to look at the gift. She doesn't move to join him on the couch.
"Do you like oak?"
"It's fine," she says.
"Come here." He says it in that peculiar way he addresses her, half command, half daring.
She does, sitting gingerly. There's space enough for another person in between them, but Cassian doesn't let it remain, scooting closer to her.
"I have something to do tomorrow morning, but how about I'll meet you in the afternoon. We can go shopping for new furniture. Your apartment should be nice. You deserve a place to feel at home."
Nesta looks to the miniature book. "I don't want this place to be home."
"Fine," he says, knowing she doesn't mean just this building. "Then how about you try Illyria?"
"Funny."
"I'm not joking. Get some space. You could stay in my home."
"So no space from you."
"No," he says, grinning. More seriously, he adds, "I'm going to help you, Nesta. All you have to do is let me."
He makes everything sound so simple.
"Just try it. Give it one week. What's stopping you?"
"Are you seriously asking?" She hesitates. "I don't want to see...their families."
He softens. "You won't. I live far enough away from everyone. I like the quiet, too."
"I find that hard to believe."
"You won't," he says, laughing, "if you come with me."
Nesta brings a hand to her forehead. "What if I try it and it doesn't work?"
"Then we'll try something else."
"Like what?"
"Don't worry about that. Are you agreeing?"
Nesta cracks the book open enough to see the size of the letters, but not enough to bend the spine. She snaps it shut. "Fine."
He leans in to kiss her cheek. She stiffens, but he doesn't mind. "I'll see you tomorrow."
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anthrologies · 4 months
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i'm reading wings and embers for the first time oh my GOD nesta is so brutal
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oversizedbats · 2 years
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Nessian, as a couple, are such casual menaces and the best example I have of this in canon is the solstice chapter in ACOSF where Nesta is telling Lucien how they’re learning how to disembowel a male and Cassian comes back with her tea and goes “she’s so good at it!”
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Guys important question for fic purposes: I know SJM is vague about it, but when does Cassian start to suspect Nesta is his mate? Is it when they first meet or when they first kiss? I can’t remember and don’t have the books with me.
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darklove9314-blog · 2 years
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It’s the way I want to write ACOWAR Nessian because I feel like ACOWAR would be top tier if we had more POV’S to it, Espicially Nesta’s. Like can you imagine. 
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enamoured-x · 2 years
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No bc let’s think about this for a second, in the interview at the end of acofas, Sarah said Cassian and Nesta are next and then she knows who the next couple after them will be but then she doesn’t know after that.
It obviously has to be Elriel. Here’s why:
Let’s just say for argument sake that Elucien is after acosf… how would she not know who to have next after acotar 5 when the obvious answer would be Azriel and his love interest… and on the other end, let’s say that you think gwynriel is getting acotar 5 (this is still the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard but i digress) then it would be obvious to have Elucien’s/Elain’s book after that one… yet she said she didn’t know… so it only makes sense that acotar 5 belongs to Elriel. It would also just make sense bc who would she write for after all 3 brothers and 3 sisters have been written for? It makes sense that she wouldn’t know yet bc there’s a few ppl to choose from.
Just a thought. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤭
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vidalinav · 2 years
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That anon yesterday made me now really want to write an acosf fix it fic, except every journey that Nesta and Cassian take for the trove and to talk to Eris and what not and discover Nesta’s powers, will be accompanied by Mor and Azriel lmao. And Nesta and Cassian won’t get together fast. They won’t just randomly hookup one day and keep denying feelings. I want real drama and real pining. So Nesta will make it difficult for Cassian and Cassian’s odd relationship with his friends will make it difficult for Nesta, and Azriel and Mor get to watch these two buffoons deny their feelings for each other while playing a more active role in making it harder for Cassian both in a way that’s funny and a way that’s serious. There will be some closure for this set of problems and you know... a lot of softness too. Because those moments of vulnerability where Nesta does something that has Cassian staring in awe, like her first genuine laugh or when her hair is down and messy, or when Cassian does something that has Nesta wanting to grab hold of his hand, those moments will be worth the pain it takes to get them together lol. 
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springcourtrose · 2 months
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Please, stop... | Part 4
Pairing: Helion x reader (x Nessian)
Warnings: mentions of death - MINORS DNI
Prompt: you’re Nesta and Cassian’s mate and yet you are so different from them. From day 1 you tried to be a good mate and do as they wanted and liked but they like it rough and you just don’t. Not only is it not enjoyable for you, it is actually painful. And not just in bed. You always excused their behavior as being overprotective but recently you started calling it something else: controlling. And one night, all changed as you uttered the words you had tried so hard never to say, but always thinking if you ever did they would listen. But they didn’t. And that night, everything broke.
(A/N: Thank you for all of your support, this has been fun! I hope you enjoy this last part 🩷 PS: English isn't my first language)
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Nesta and Cassian were lying in bed, facing each other, staring at the empty space in the middle, where you used to lie in between them. They did so every day, twice a day in fact. Once in the evening, when your absence kept them awake, and once in the morning, when it made them want to die.
They had no time for it this morning, however, as Rhys had called a meeting, and they were already late for it.
It had been a little over a year since you left and they had never recovered from your loss. And they never will. They didn't want to.
Their friends had gotten used to their empty eyes, to the bags under them, to the paleness of their skin. They had even started to forget the sound of their laughs or the way they smiled. It was an unspoken rule not to mention you in front of them, ever. And had they been paying attention, had they cared at all about anything anymore, they would have noticed their friends' nervous behavior. They had gotten used to the pity in their eyes, but this morning, there was something more than just pity. They sat on the couch across from where Rhys and Feyre waited for them. Amren in the armchair on their right, Mor on their left, Azriel standing behind her, his back against the wall. They had no idea what the meeting was about, they didn't care. They were utterly unprepared for what they were about to hear.
"We have news," Rhys started carefully." From the Day Court."
Nesta stilled. Cassian looked up at his brother, a hint of light in his hollow eyes.
"Y/N?" he asked, your name only a murmur on his lips, as if he could hurt you again just by speaking your name.
"Yes."
"Is she alright?"
"She's fine. She... Helion sent word to every court. They have married, and he's made her his High Lady."
Neither of them felt the watchful eyes of their friends as their High Lord told them the news. They had no idea what to expect from them. When it came to you, their behavior had been surprising ever since you had gone. They had given up so quickly. They had let you go. They hadn't even tried to go and see you in the Day Court. As if every day since your departure was self-inflicted torture, penance, for what they had done to you. They were miserable, and they knew they deserved it and worse.
"That's good," Cassian nodded, a small smile forming on his face, quickly fading away. "Helion makes her happy. I'm glad."
Nesta said nothing. She didn't react. She just stared at nothing, like she so often did now. Cassian placed a hand on hers and squeezed gently.
"That's good," he repeated.
And that had been that.
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Your laugh echoed through the courtyard, like it so often did now. The servants and caretakers smiled as they watched you and their High Lord embrace in the sun.
You were brushing Thea's mane when your husband had come up behind you and pressed a kiss in your neck. His hands ran down your body as he enveloped you in his arms.
"Good morning, my love."
"'morning, sunshine," you smiled, leaning into him.
Thea had been his wedding gift to you. The most perfect pegasus, 'a steed fit for a High Lady', he had written on the note. Unfortunately, you had said, you would not be able to ride her for a few months. That had been your gift to him, and you swore the smile on his face, as you brought his hands to your swollen belly, had shone brighter than the sun.
You were only three months along, but already so big. You had complained about it to him, feeling somewhat insecure, but he had assured you you had never looked better. And the healer the next day had easily explained it. You were carrying twins. A boy and a girl. Both healthy. You were both overjoyed.
The past year had been absolute bliss for the both of you. There was really nothing that could ruin it.
It was the middle of the afternoon when it happened. Two months after your wedding. You were sitting comfortably on your canopy in your chambers, reading a book, when death came upon you.
The scream that came out of you was the scariest thing Helion had ever heard. He rushed into the room to find you shaking on the floor, bent over your knees. He knelt in front of you and seized your face in his hands, checking you for any injury. He found none.
"What is it?"
The look in his eyes was wild with worry but yours, yours were grieving.
"Cassian," you breathed. "He's dying."
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Cassian's screams echoed in the Court of Nightmares as Madja and two other healers worked on him. They had managed to control the bleeding of his opened wounds but his wings... it was his wings that made his screams so horrible.
It took two more healers to save him from death's grip, but his wings... only time would tell if he would ever be able to fly again.
He slept for hours, only waking for a few minutes at a time. Nesta never left his side. She had already lost one mate, she wouldn't lose another. She had threatened and barked at the healers to save him. It was the most spirit she had shown in the past year and a half.
He was awake, however, when Rhys came in.
"How are you feeling, brother?"
"Half-dead," he coughed, "half-alive."
"There's someone who wants to see you, if you're feeling up to it?"
The Illyrian warrior frowned.
"Who?" Nesta demanded.
And if the bastards who had ambushed him that morning, about 20 men against one, hadn't managed to kill him, the sight of you standing behind his brother could have finished him right then and there.
"Y/N," Nesta breathed as she slowly stood from the bed.
Your eyes quickly moved from him to her then back to him again. He stared right back at you, at a lack for words. He wondered if he were imagining it, if he were hallucinating you. He wondered if you had come to spit on his dead corpse.
Helion stood behind you and remained close as you approached and came to a stop at the end of his bed.
"Hey," you said to him. You spoke to him.
"Hey," he murmured back, tears in his eyes, a knot in his throat.
"I felt you die."
He swallowed hard. "I couldn't die without seeing your pretty face again." He tried to smile. But ended up wincing. You didn't smile back. Tears fell on his cheeks. "You're pregnant."
You took a deep breath as you nodded, your hands coming to rest on your belly. You eyed Nesta quickly. Her cheeks were wet. You understood she never thought she would ever see you again.
"I'm glad you're not dead," you said, and this time, his smile was true. And this time, you smiled back.
You moved to sit on the edge of the bed, near where Nesta stood. You nodded at her. She nodded back.
You slowly brought a hand to Cassian's face and cupped his cheek, wiping tears away with your thumb.
"Will your wings heal?"
"'don't know."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't," he shook his head. "Don't ever apologize to me, to us," he said as he took your tiny hand in his large one. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he sobbed. "I'm so fucking sorry."
You nodded, then looked up at Nesta. You didn't expect her to apologize. She didn't apologize to anyone, and you doubted she would to you.
"We fucked it up," he spat, angry and disgusted at himself. "We didn't take care of you like we should have. We didn't treat you right. We hurt you, and I'll never forgive myself for that. Ever."
You nodded again. It's not that you couldn't find the words. It's that you had absolutely nothing to say to that. To them.
"I will always love you," he continued. "As long as I'm alive."
"I know," you finally said. You had felt it that day you had tried to destroy the bond. That was that tiny thread left between you. Their love, however painful it had been to you.
He smiled again. A sad smile that should have broken your heart.
"Are you happy?"
"Yes."
"Then I will die a happy male."
"You won't die at all, even if I have to bring all the healers of the Day Court to save your life."
He chuckled, then winced.
"Spoken like a true High Lady," he said with a proud smile. "So," he cleared his throat. "Boy or girl?"
You smiled slightly. "Both. Twins."
"I'm so happy for you," he beamed at you. You felt Nesta boil from where she stood. You knew she was trying her very best not to say a thing. Not to ruin this moment. For Cassian. And for you.
"Be happy, Cassian," you told him, running your thumb once more on his cheek before letting go of his face.
You gestured for Helion to help you back up and he was with you in an instant. You looked up at Nesta as you stood on your feet. She wouldn't say a thing, but you saw enough in her eyes. She had lost any hope of happiness the day she lost you. And she would live with that for the rest of her life.
You smiled at your husband as he linked his arm to yours and walked you to the door. You were halfway across the room when a voice stopped you.
"Tell me what I have to do to have your forgiveness."
You turned to meet Nesta's eyes. Determined. Desperate.
You had thought about it. You had thought about it many times. What it would take for you to forgive them. You never could find the answer. And as you stood there with her you understood there was nothing either of them could do. Nothing they could say. But there was one thing you were dying to know.
"Why didn't you stop when I asked?"
Cassian's face turned grave. Nesta didn't even flinch.
"I didn't want to," she answered honestly. "I took what I wanted from you and I didn't stop to think how that made you feel. I didn't even consider the possibility that I was... that we were hurting you. Because you were my... our mate, and you were mine..." she paused, a knot forming in her throat as tears formed in her eyes. "And I was so wrong."
"So you didn't know you were hurting me?"
She shook her head. Cassian said nothing, he only lowered his eyes in shame.
"Would you have stopped, would you have changed, had you known?"
"Yes." It was Cassian who answered. "But we should have known."
"We should have known," Nesta nodded.
You paused to look at them both for a moment. Then, you squeezed Helion's hand before you turned your back to your mates once more.
"Yes. You should have."
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The end!
I hope you liked it! I am curious though, do you think reader should have / could have forgiven them? Were you hoping for another ending? 🤔 Let me know!
Thank you all for the likes and reblogs, I really enjoyed writing this, I haven't written in so long! 🩷
Tags: @chessebookgirl @impossibelle @esposadomd @saltedcoffeescotch @sleepylunarwolf @63angel @azzydaddy @ghostbutaliveidk @queerqueenlynn @randomperson1234sblog @nyx-the-alien
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tsunami-of-tears · 24 days
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Subtle
Azriel x Reader, Nesta x Reader, Nessian
Summary: Reader and Nesta have a crush on each other but aren’t sure if they should make a move.
A/N: WHY DO I KEEP MAKING CASSIAN SUCH A SUB??  I’m getting so hyped for poly!+ ACOTAR week!! I have so many drafts on the go rn
Wordcount: 1.2K
Warnings: Mostly fluff; Slightly sexual themes; Mention of cuck!Cassian (he’s so hot for that); Poly! relationship
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚
Sharing their bed was nothing new to Cassian and Nesta, often inviting both males and females to join them. 
Cassian didn’t often get jealous, in fact - he quite enjoyed when Nesta would seek out other males. The only rule was that he wanted to watch.
Cassian was willing to give Nesta her privacy when it came to females. He understood that it was a different kind of intimacy. On occasion, Nesta would allow an audience. If Cassian was lucky, he’d be invited to join in. 
The couple were getting ready to head out to Rita’s with the rest of the Inner Circle. There was nothing out of the ordinary about tonight, except for Nesta’s growing feelings for their friend, Y/N. 
Nesta pauses in front of the mirror, trying to calm her racing mind. Her hair was styled in her signature coronet, and her sleek black dress perfectly hugged her figure.
Cassian walks up behind Nesta, admiring his mate as he slides his arms around her waist and kisses her tenderly on the cheek. 
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asks, concern lacing his voice. 
“I’m nervous about tonight. About seeing Y/N,” She admits. 
Cassian gives Nesta a small, reassuring smile, moving his hands to rest on her hips. “I wondered when this was going to come up. I noticed your affection towards her has grown. I just want you to be happy, my love.”
Nesta turns in Cassian’s arms to face him. “I know,” She says. “But I can’t tell if she feels the same. And I have no idea if Az will be okay with it.”
Cassian ponders her statement. “Do you want me to try broaching the topic with him?” He asks. 
“I know it’s not your strong suit, but please try and be subtle. I don’t want to ruin things between us.” 
“Sweetheart, subtle is my middle name,” Cassian grins widely. 
————
At Rita’s, Cassian, Azriel and Rhys are sat at their signature booth with glasses of whiskey in hand. The females are off dancing together; Mor with Feyre, and Nesta with Y/N.
Y/N throws her head back at something Nesta says, her melodic laughter barely heard over the music. The pair hold hands and spin around together, completely ignorant of the people around them.
Cassian watches his mate and her friend with a small smile. He would give anything to make Nesta happy. He takes a big sip of his drink before inclining his head towards Azriel. “Has Y/N ever expressed interest in females before?”
Rhys eyes his brothers, opting to stay quiet and see where this conversation is going. Azriel smirks and arches a brow. “Huh, why do you want to know that?” He asks.
Cassian shrugs, failing at his attempt to seem casual. “I was just wondering,” He says cooly. 
“That’s a funny thing to wonder about my mate,” Azriel goads, “I’d ask the same about yours, but we both know the answer to that question.”
Rhys coughs, raising his hand to his mouth to keep his drink from spraying across the table.
Cassian sighs, “You know you’re a prick, right?”
“You can tell Nesta to make her move,” Azriel says with a wink.
————
Y/N extends a hand, bowing to Nesta as a slow ballad starts to play throughout the hall. “Will you join me for this dance, milady?” She asks, each word laced with giggles now that the faewine has taken effect. 
Nesta takes her hand, bowing in return. “I would be delighted,” she replies. 
They both smile as they hold each other in a close embrace, swaying to the music. At this proximity, Y/N can’t avoid looking into Nesta’s eyes, and she risks a glance down to her lips. 
Only for a second, but long enough that Nesta caught it. 
Nesta’s lips curl upwards slightly and she tilts her head closer to Y/N’s.
“You don’t have to be shy with me,” Nesta murmurs as her gaze drops to Y/N’s mouth. Rather than quickly averting her eyes, Nesta lingers, taking in the soft curves - wondering how they’ll feel, what they’ll taste like. 
Y/N’s heart pounds and the music fades into a dull roar as she stands still in her embrace with Nesta. The moment she’d thought about since the two first met was finally reality. 
Their bodies fit together even better than Y/N had dreamed. They move in time, close enough to feel the others’ breath on their face. 
Just a little bit more, that’s all it would take to close that gap, and maybe ruin their friendship. 
Y/N doesn’t have to decide as Nesta chooses for her. She surges forward, pressing her soft lips to Y/N’s in a sweet kiss. 
It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to make Y/N’s blood heat.
They part, breathing unevenly, Y/N bites her lower lip as she looks up into Nesta’s steel-blue eyes. “Do it again,” Y/N pants. 
Nesta gently holds Y/N’s cheek as their lips meet again. It’s tender and unhurried, but it’s clear that Nesta is the one in control. Her tongue slips between Y/N’s lips, exploring and claiming her mouth. 
They part for air, resting forehead against forehead and continue to sway to the music. They both smile shyly, cheeks flushed pink, not noticing anyone but each other. 
They dance for a few more songs together before heading back to their booth for a drink. Azriel wraps his arm around Y/N as she slips into the seat beside him. 
Y/N blushes furiously as a rather pleased-looking Nesta takes the seat opposite her, next to Cassian. 
Cassian uses the bond to speak to Nesta, ‘That wasn’t exactly subtle.’
Nesta replies with the mental image of her making a vulgar gesture. 
————
After calling it a night, Y/N heads home with Azriel, walking hand in hand along the Sidra. 
They stop at the end of the Rainbow, admiring the display of colours. Azriel takes Y/N’s other hand and kisses her lovingly. “Did you have fun tonight, my love?” Azriel asks, his lips curled into a soft small. 
Y/N grips his hands tighter as she blushes again, and looks down at their feet. She had been harbouring feelings for Nesta from the moment they met. Azriel picked up on them fairly quickly through the bond. Though Y/N did her best to hide them, she couldn’t cover up just how alive the female made her feel. 
Azriel gently lifts her chin so their eyes meet. He tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear before running his thumb over her cheek. “No need to be shy, my love. You already had my blessing. I am happy for you.”
Y/N looks up at her mate with wide eyes, silver tears threatening to spill over the edge. “Are you sure?” She asks.
“Of course,” Azriel kisses her softly, “If Nesta brings you more happiness, how can I deny you that? And besides, this” —he points at her chest, over her heart— “has so much love in it. There’s not any less for me if you give some to Nesta as well.” 
Y/N wraps her arms tightly around Azriel, inhaling the scent of him, feeling the firmness of his body in her arms. “I love you so much.” She murmurs into the crook of his neck.
“I love you too, Y/N,” Azriel says, kissing the top of her head. 
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littlemisssatanist · 1 month
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my acotar unpopular opinions
taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.
be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.
rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.
nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?
mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.
on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.
the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.
out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.
nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.
sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.
lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.
eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.
NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.
feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.
feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.
acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.
tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?
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ellievickstar · 1 year
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His Second Choice?
A/N: So my first ever fic was Azriel angst…thus, this. I have curated what I consider to be the worst thing of all time, being someone’s second choice, especially if you are their soulmate.
Summary: When then mating bond finally snaps into place, what are you meant to do when you realise your mate has another in his heart, will you break it off to save yourself, or will your mate be able to save this heartbreak?
Request: N/A
Pairing: Azriel x Witch!Reader, Azriel x Elain, Nessian, Feysand.
Warnings: Angst. Tears. Mentions of witchcraft. Elain Slander. Being someone’s second option. (If you are in a similar situation, BREAK IT OFF. He or she is not worth it), Azriel being incredibly stupid. Elain slander. Thanks to @azrielhours for helping me come up with the idea! I also added my own take of the Hanahaki Disease with Azzy. Hope you enjoy, love you babes <3
My Masterlists & Rules
~*~*~*~*~
You walked down the hall, and noticed that there was a slight bounce in your step, smiling as you recalled the reason why. Today was finally the day, after weeks of going on countless missions for Rhys, Azriel could finally have dinner with you as usual, and just in time to. Today you were celebrating finally being able to finish the last book of your series, quite popular now, no doubt thanks to Feyre's connections to a famous publisher, which allowed the series to get the exposure it needed. (A/N: Is this how publishing books work? Someone please educate me)
Thanks to the help of Mor and Nesta's fashionable taste in dresses, they had picked out a wonderful dress. It was a dark navy blue, azriel's favourite colour, which faded into white with golden accents. The sleeves were off the shoulder, lined with flowers sewn and embroidered into the top. You were in absolute awe when you saw it and had tried it on immediately, thankfully it fit you well, and you wished the two females well before heading to bottom of the stairs to the House of Wind, where Azriel agreed to pick you up.
You wondered what he'd think as you fidgeted with the layers of your dress, occasionally summoning spells to pass time. During the first hour, you just played with your magic, bored. During the second hour, you begun to worry that he might have been injured during the mission. During the third, you were ready to summon Rhys
That's when Cassian and Nesta came across you and asked you why you weren't with Azriel and you made a painful realisation.
You had stood there, waiting like a fool. Thinking that maybe, your mate would still care enough to at least show up if he was tired from his mission. Stood there, until Nesta and Cassian came across you, Nesta demanding to know where Azriel was, Cassian puzzled as he claimed Azriel had come home hours before. And that's when you knew he had forgotten. And it hurt.
You shouldn't have been upset. After all, he could have been so tired and just landed in bed immediately, he could have been flooded with paperwork for the mission. Cassian offered to bring you to the House of Wind but y ou waved him off, telling him to enjoy the rest of his night with Nesta and not to worry about you.
You couldn't winnow. But you could do something else. After ensuring that no one could see you, you waved a hand in the air. Drawing precise shapes from memory. A light glowed in your hand, slowly swallowing your arm, then the rest of you. And when you closed your eyes because of how bright it was you felt the atmosphere shift. And with your fingers crossed you opened one eye, then the other, to see yourself standing in the living room of the House of Wind.
Witchcraft.
You had grown up as a witch, travelling across Prythian with your family and friends. That was before Amarantha's rule, before...everything. Before you witnessed you family slaughtered. Before you mustered up so much power you shouldn't even be alive. Before your friends needed to go into hiding. Before everyone thought witches were evil. And it wasn't just you. Bryaxis, was something of an old friend. You were no stranger to the weaver, the bone carver or the suriel. They had all been...friends. And such association with had had cause your kind to be deemed evil.
So you hid your power, you hid your identity. The only people you ever told was the inner circle, save Feyre's two sisters. You weren't comfortable with sharing it with new people, and everyone understood. You had told Nesta vague details, but tears had begun to form in your eyes and she embraced you, telling you that it was alright if you didn't wish to speak of it yet.
The memory made you smile. But once you remembered the situation at hand, it turned into a frown. Reaching out to that mating bond, you grasped it, but there was nothing on the pother side. Though Azriel was your lover, he hadn't experienced the bond for himself yet. You would wait for it to click for him, you didn't want to rush him.
Laughter caught your attention, and the distinct sound of your mate made you freeze as you faced the balcony. There they were. It was clear as day as your mate entered the House of Wind with Elain. Elain. You'd known that they had grown closer, but to leave you with no explanation and spend time with someone else. You blanched.
Azriel's eyes found yours and as they trailed down to your dress, the colour drained from his face. He truly had forgotten. Not for any rhyme or reason but because he was busy with someone else. Your vision began to blur, but you swallowed as you asked him one thing.
"Why?" It was so soft, you couldn't recognise your own voice. But Azriel flinched. You searched for an answer in his eyes but found none as he looked away. You begged him silently for a good reason, a good answer, anything but-
"I guess I just forgot, and she needed me for something important," It was as if he had slapped you. Turning away, tears streamed down your face, and with a wave of your hand a blinding light flashed and you were gone. Azriel left on his knees as he had tried to grab you, to convince you to stay, to let him make up for what he had forgotten, but never once thought about what he had just said, what he had just implied.
~*~*~*~*~
"He didn't!" Mor gasped. You nodded sadly and Nesta huffed as she sat back in her chair. Feyre was quiet as she stirred her tea. You couldn't imagine how they both felt. On one hand, Elain was their sister, but to even attempt on a man who already had a lover was beyond both of them. Feyre shook her head, in disbelief and disappointment. She exchanged looks with Nesta and cleared her throat.
"Perhaps, we sheltered Elain all her life, but it is no excuse for what she is doing, whether she realises it or not. I will speak to her about the issue at hand, but don't worry, I won't tell her about the bond," You smiled gratefully at the high lady and she excused herself to go to the bathroom. You couldn't help but be envious of the relationship she had. Though you would never want to date the High Lord, you wished that Azriel would care for you as much as Rhys did Feyre.
Sighing, you set your cup down, ready to leave for a meeting with Bryaxus - who was more than overjoyed when you begun to regularly visit him - and then you felt it, it was like your heart was being ripped out of you as you gasped, heaving, coughing. Mor sat up, alarmed, and Nesta moved to hold your back, soothing you. You hacked and watched in horror as blood and what looked like the petals of a flower came spewing out of your mouth.
You knew this disease.
You knew what it would do.
You knew what needed to be done.
"Get Madja," You coughed out to Mor, "Now! I need her now!" Raising your voice, you began to cough up more petals and more blood. Mor instantly winnowed out and was back within a few minutes, Madja hot on her heels as she rushed towards you. Your mind spun as you processed everything. Not this, anything but this, please.
After your coughing fit that scared the wits out of Mor and Nesta, you explained the disease to them. Madja nodded at your every word as she inspected the kind of flowers that you had coughed up.
Red Tulips. Soulmates.
Marigolds. Hurt.
Daffodils. Unrequited Love.
You cursed under your breath. Feyre had just returned and was quickly filled in on the situation. She paled as she took in the flowers, their meanings. Hours of listening to what Elain said flowers represented and now Feyre wish she had forgotten all of it. You started heaving again and Madja made you lean forward as you coughed up more petals into a paper bag.
Unbridled pain roared through the veins of your body as it began to come in paves. Whimpering, you brought your knees to your chest, but the coughing didn't stop. You were in near tears. How could you let this happen? Years of hearing about this disease and you were now victim to it. You couldn't help that your mate was in love with another, but why was this so much worse than the stories? You had seen the events of the disease transpire and it was no where near as bad-
"It's because you and Azriel are mates. In other cases, this only happens between two lovers...never mates. Mates usually have an instant connection, so it's very rare for one half to love another person entirely," Feyre explained. Nesta muttered something about how Tamlin should have gotten this cursed disease, but Feyre then explained that there was a difference between 'love' and 'obsession'. This couldn't be happening. You groaned into your palms, maybe you should go to the bathroom, lest the next thing you know you can't move.
Standing up, you took one step, then another, your vision bagan to tunnel, and you turned back to the sofa. You had to at least get back to a lying down position, but before you could, darkness hugged you like a warm, welcoming blanket.
~*~*~*~*~
Mor yelped as she rushed to keep Y/N from falling. Feyre immediately reaching out to Rhys to get everyone to go to the House of Wind immediately. It was an emergency. Rhys was there with Lucien in a heartbeat. For a second, Mor wondered where Azriel was, when booming beats of wings could be heard. Cassian rushing in, letting out a sigh of relief as he spied that Nesta was safe, Azriel with Elain in his arms entering soon after as he set her down.
Feyre, Mor and Nesta all scowled at the Shadow singer, assuming that it was because of Y/N he nodded at them apologetically. Which in turn made them all exchange enraged looks, Feyre making a mental note to tell Rhys to cut Azriel's hefty salary by at least half. Still a sizeable portion, but maybe he's start thinking about the consequences to his actions.
"We're here because of Y/N," Mor started and Elain scoffed. Feyre and Nesta were taken aback by the rude behaviour. Having enough of so many problems, Nesta spoke up. "Is there a problem, Elain?" Elain rolled her eyes and picked at her nails.
"Y/N is just jealous that Azriel decided that he didn't want to be with her anymore. Besides, there are so many other males for her, why those she have to target Azriel?" Nesta gritted her teeth, ready to yell at her ignorant sister, but decided against it as Mor began to speak.
"Y/N has contracted something called Hanahaki Disease, a disease cause my unrequited love towards another," This made Elain snort, but Mor continued, ignoring her, "Usually there would be time to try several cures, but in this case, it's..." More trailed off, unable to find the words, unable to utter the thing that would confirm her own fears. Feyre continued for her.
"She's dying. Fast. Madja says we have a day at best, hours at worse," The words were almost unheard, Cassian stared at Nesta, the devastation on her face, he glanced to Azriel, the bastard's face remained impassive, but as he reached to his mind, absolute chaos. Pain. Suffering.
Azriel felt paralysed when he heard the words. He might never be able to make up for the mistake he made. The hurt he caused his lover. But, something made him stop.
"You said usually, there would be more time. What's the difference in this case?" The question made Feyre pause. She glanced at her sister and friend but they both looked unsure. Should they tell him? They had sworn not to tell anyone but in a situation like this...
"You are her mate," Nesta softly muttered. So soft, that if it wasn't for everyone's Fae hearing, they would have passed it off as the wind. Elain gasped ion anger, and Azriel fell to his knees. No. It can't be. He mustn't have heard it right. His mate? But as he reached into his soul, he grasped the at the foreign golden thread that was foreign to him all this time, and tugged it hard. Images flooded his mind and he begun to weep.
The shadow singer, hardened by years of battle, war, and torture, begun to weep as he saw an invisible golden thread reach out, and go through the door where his mate probably was. And for the first time in centuries, he understood her. He saw her pain, her memories, her thoughts.
Horrified, he witnessed himself saying those words to her. Telling her that Elain was more important, telling her that another female was more important than his mate. He wanted to know when she found out about the bond, wanted to demand why she never told him, but now wasn't the time. He needed to get to her.
Faster then anyone could stop him, he got to his feet and ran. Tearing through the door and stopped as he saw her. She was so pale, sweat beaded down her forehead as her breaths were laboured. She wasn't even conscious. Shadows sang as they danced around her figure. Not right. Dying. Sick. Disease.
He felt himself being pulled back by Cassian, asking him to calm down, asking him to listen, but he couldn't. He was panicked. He couldn't leave her, not again, he needed her. He couldn't lose her after just finding out. It took both Rhys and Cassian to haul Azriel away, he screamed after his mate, screamed as he prayed, he didn't know to who, but if there was any slight chance that they'd let her wake up, if there was at least one good thing he'd done in all his existence that allowed him this one good thing, he'd bargain with the Gods for a chance to live the rest of his life with his mate. Would bargain away his own life.
He didn't know how long it was until Madja came out with a solemn look. He didn't know how long it was he stood there when she uttered those defining words. "She might not make it," Before she dragged him to the side.
"What is your relationship with Y/N?" She demanded. Azriel's head spun as he tried to recall what happened. "I...it's complicated," Madja paused at seeing the shadow singer falter after 500 years of walking through life without a care in the world. However, the answer he was giving was not going to help her save Y/N.
"Define it shadow singer! Give me details! Let me know what was happening that she became so ill!" She snapped. Azriel flinched. He knew she had every right to be annoyed at him. He was the cause of the illness and he couldn't even think straight, couldn’t even try to save her.
“I hurt her. I hurt her and I shouldn’t have, I stood her up, and then told her another female was more important. I grew distant. And now she’s suffering. Because of me,” He swallowed and Madja nodded. He ran his hand through his hair. Panic danced in his eyes and Madja sighed. This was complicated, never in all her year did she need to treat such a complicated case, even when Illyrians were on the brink of losing their wings. Even when she had to treat battle wounds that would leave the faint hearted in shambles.
She shook her head, turning to leave, voicing only one instruction as she walked out, “Break off whatever relationship you have with that Archeron Sister, and pray that you’re mate will wake,” He nodded and Madja left the shadow singer feeling empty, feeling as if he had nothing left in the world.
~*~*~*~*~
His foot steps felt heavy as he walked to the living room of the House of Wind. He couldn't believe this. All his life, he'd dreamed of meeting his mate. He'd dreamed of living out his life together with her, and now he might not even get to right the wrongs he had made. He might not even get to tell her that he was sorry for hurting her.
"So? What do we need to do?" Mor demanded as he came into view of the rest. He sighed as looked down at his scarred palms, ones who had done harm to thousands and he hadn't regretted it, not once. Until now. His own mate. Maybe karma really did exist. Maybe he shouldn't have been so cruel to so many people.
"I...I have to break up with Elain or she dies tonight," He said shakily. Everyone stared at him. Elain rolled her eyes once more. “What a drama queen. She’s such an attention seeker, right guys?” She looked around but no one seemed to agree. Her eyes seemed to flicker between surprise and resentment. “You guys are stupid, she’s not dying she’s just faking it,” She tried to say but Cassian brought a hand up, stopping her.
“You, dumb brat. You’re sisters have shielded you all their lives and the one time you have an opportunity that you aren’t just an empty headed child, you blow it!” Nesta tried to calm him down but everyone could tell that a part of her agreed with what her mate was saying. Rhysand then chimed in, “A member of my court, one of my closest friends, is dying. And you have the audacity, the gall, to say that she is attention seeking? I don’t care that you are my mate’s sister, but that disrespect will not be tolerated in my court, even so, my mate would agree with me. You have been born and raised sheltered and shielded from a broken world and instead of being thankful, instead of feeling an ounce of appreciation towards the female who saved your damn life, you ruined hers.” Feyre nodded, and as Elain looked around, she realised that no one was siding with her, not even Lucien.
She huffed, enraged by the outcome of this, before strutting out of the house of Wind. Nesta felt disheartened, she had been so protective of Elain that she had now turned into this uncaring monster, it made her feel like she had failed. Her emotions were echoed down the bond and Cassian turned towards her and hugged her, pressing her against him gently. The scene made Azriel feel alone, and so guilty. He could have had that, if he had just opened his damn eyes, if he hadn’t hurt her the way he did.
But now, he didn’t even know if his mate was going to make the end of the day. And he prayed to whatever god there was out there, that he’d get one more shot to make things right.
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: Should I make part 2???? Idk T^T Hope you enjoyed <3
PART 2 IS OUT
@aroseinvelaris
If you wanna be tagged: Just ask and remember to specify if you wanna be tagged in just part 2 of this fic, all Azriel fics, any specific character fics/series, or just all my fics in certain fandoms. <3
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