#something about the tommy having nothing but leather armor a crossbow with terrible durability and a handful of sticks in his inventory

[businessbois]

what i can only assume is a mixture of business skills, fighting with his words, and tommyinnit’s canonical puppy eyes in action plus a single bonus smpearth clip because frick you its my compilation i get to put smpe in if i want

timestamps and transcript:

1:11:53 TommyInnit fights with Purpled, Tubbo & Fundy

Tommy: “Order! Silence in the court. I hereby declare you no longer a judge, please sit over there.” Tubbo: “Fine.” Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s going to happen. Wha—” [Tubbo walks over to the other side of the courtroom, places a stone step, and sits down. Tommy silently laughs.] Tommy: “Now, Purpled, here’s what’s gonna happen—” Tubbo: “Wait, what? Wait, how has this happened?”

1:20:27 1:24:51 TommyInnit & Quackity Do a Heist

Tommy: “You got robbed, bitch!” [Eret hits him with his sword, taking half his health] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me though.” Eret: “Tommy. Can I have my stuff back?” Tommy: “Alright. You got some food for me? I’m really struggling.” Eret: “I’ve some carrots. Friendship carrots.” [throws him carrots] “There you go.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, thanks, here you go.” [tosses him one of thirteen enchanting books] “Good day.” - Tommy: “Alright, I’m gonna keep knockback two, power four for effort.” [crosses his fingers] “‘Cause I robbed you.” [Eret hits him with his sword] Tommy: “Please don’t kill me. I’m really, really low on HP.” Eret: [laughs] “I’d quite like my book back.” Tommy: “You’re not even gonna use it.” Eret: “Probably not.” Tommy: “Just for ef—participation.” Eret: “Fine, I’ll give you this one since you’ve given back all my stuff.” Tommy: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch.”

54:35 TommyInnit & Technoblade take Antfrost hostage

Tommy: “Hand it [Antfrost’s armor] to me now.” [Antfrost takes off all his armor and throws it to Tommy] Tommy: “Oh, wow. That—That was— You really— Oh, wow, you just—” Techno: “You’re a very persuasive guy, Tommy.” Tommy: “Okay. Come with us, Antfrost!” [Antfrost follows]

35:32 TommyInnit, Dream, & Technoblade Team Up

Tommy: “So what I’m thinking, Skeppy, is— I can’t believe— I can’t believe you didn’t convince me to stop drowning, I convinced you to start drowning. Like, that— I’m so good with my words. Holy shit. Holy shit.” Skeppy: “To be fair, how’s he done that?”

27:10 Tommy's Last Night on the Dream SMP

Tommy: “Okay, anyway, but thank you so much for this. Listen, I’ll make amends, uh, provided I don’t die tomorrow.” Techno: “Wait, what did you take?” [laughs] “What did you take from my base?” Tommy: “Not a lot, really. Not a lot.” Techno: “Wait, can I get, like, a list?” Tommy: “Uhh, potions, primarily. And pearls.” Techno: “Bruhhh.” Tommy: “Yeah, ‘bruhh,’ me too. That’s how I felt if I die tomorrow, Techno, this might be my last night. It was lovely seeing your base and the home that we used to share together. Me and you, we’ve really come a long way. I’m gonna leave now.” [Techno laughs]

1:20:02 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: “Give me the rest [of the hearts of the sea]. Give me the rest. Give me the fucking rest.” Eret: “I’m honestly impressed.” Tommy: “Give me two more. Give me two more.” Eret: “Two more?” Tommy: “I’ll fucking...” [headbutts her] Eret: “Okay, Tommy, we can come to a compromise. We can come to a compromise. Alright?” [opens her enderchest] “One more.” [she throws Tommy one more heart of the sea] Tommy: (picking it up) “Okay.” Eret: “You happy with that?” Tommy: “Mhm. Thank you.” Eret: “Pleasure doing business with you. Even though I’ve got nothing in return.” Tommy: “Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure doing business with you too, Eret. You owe me.”

1:23:07 Sam Is The Villain?

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Puffy) “Three, two, one.” [He throws Puffy kelp as she throws him five diamonds] Puffy: “Ah, this is the shit right here. This is some good— Ah.” Tommy: “Yes, and I know that because I’ve done drugs.”

35:36 Tommy Is Back Streaming

Tommy: (doing drug deal with Ponk) “I’ll drop you one, you drop me— There’s thirty-nine diamonds per one, yeah?” [Ponk drops 11 blocks of diamonds to Tommy] Tommy: (quietly) “Oh shit, okay. How many is that? Nine times three. Twenty-seven.” (loudly) “Yep!” [Ponk drops him seven more diamond blocks] Tommy: “Ponk your maths is incredible. Your maths. I’ve never met a man...” Ponk: “Thank you.” [He drops him 14 more diamond blocks, a total of 33, as Tommy’s get wider and wider]

40:51 Tommy Is 17 Now

Tommy: “Aw, this is my worst birthday ever.” [crouching in front of Ranboo] “Ranboo, I’m doing the puppy eyes at you.” Tubbo: “Give him TNT.” Ranboo: (nodding at Tommy) “Awwwwww.” [He drops him a golden apple] “Wow, that works really— What was that? That was just involuntary, my god. He’s good.” Tommy: “Ranboo. Oh, Ranboo. Have you got any water bucket?” Ranboo: “I— I do, yeah. Yeah, I do.” Tommy: “The minors want TNT.” Ranboo: (tossing Tommy a bucket) “Oh, wait a sec, what the heck. He’s so good. Wait, he’s really good at this, what the heck is going on?” Tommy: “Yeah!”

42:55 Exploding Stuff w/ Tommy, Tubbo’s Stream April 22nd

Tommy: “Do you want one of my codfish?” Ghostbur: “Yeah.” Tommy: “Too bad. Gonna cost you.” Ghostbur: “How much?” Tommy: “Uhh, what’s the most valuable thing you got on you.” Ghostbur: “Uhhh, I have a netherite pickaxe with efficiency four, mending, silk touch...” Tommy: “Yep! Yep! Yep! Okay, I’ll give you five codfish for that.” Ghostbur: “Okay.” Tubbo: “Codfish should be our national currency.” Tommy: “Oh. Yep, okay. That works.” Ghostbur: “Thank you.” Tommy: “No worries.” Tubbo: “Wow.” Ghostbur: “Tubbo, I just got a great deal.”

8:49 I Upset Wilbur In Minecraft And It Was Hilarious

Tommy: “I took a book, if that’s cool with you.” James: “That’s alright, yeah.” Tommy: (surprised) “Oh. Oh. Nice.” James: “What book was it.” Tommy: [checks inventory] “Oh, wait. Wrong book. Sorry.” [He goes back] James: “Did you want the mending book?” Tommy: “No, I already have mending books.” James: “Did you want the protection book?” Tommy: “I stole wrong.” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m not the best criminal, you know?” James: “That’s fine.” Tommy: “I’m still getting my feet on the ground.” James: “Look, man, you want anything, you just got to ask. You don’t need to steal. It’s okay.” Tommy: “Sorry. Sorry. I’m too— I’m used to living the bad boy’s life.” [snickers] James: “Yeah. It’s alright, man. You don’t have to be the bad guy. I’m here for you.” Tommy: “Thank you, James. This is— This is what I needed.”

#tommyinnit #dream smp #mcyt #dsmp #tubbo #eret #antfrost #skeppy #nihachu #technoblade #captainpuffy #ponk #ranboo #wilbur soot #roastedjames #smpearth #clip comp #gets away with so much shit what the heck #also #something about the tommy having nothing but leather armor a crossbow with terrible durability and a handful of sticks in his inventory #while eret stands there in netherite and openly admits that he ‘probably wont use it’ #also also #technos laugh at the end of their call is very important to me #also also also not to debate the canonicity of smpe to the dsmp today #but the implication of tommy being used to 'living the bad guy life' #not used to or recognizing genorosity #little orphan raccoon thief boy background? #just the origin story from that last clip alone makes me think 'im not the best criminal [yet]' 'still getting my feet ont he ground' #'you dont have to be the bad guy' #he didn't internalize it then but 'you dont have to be the bad guy' thats so much