#something fresh to keep me going

[unexpectedbrickattack]

short king and his shorter kings

#pizza tower #pepstavo #peppinoise #i sketched it out WEEKS ago #but w me almost finishing this godawful comm i felt compelled to do something for Me #i cannot wait to finish; i have a couple of forms sitting there collecting dust but im too overwhelmed w this shitty comm- #-to even attempt to tackle those. i need to scrub my brain and start fresh. but after i finish it lmao #anyway hey. hope everyones okay and vibin #dont take this seriously but also. heehee. #in hindsight i feel like i need to bump gustavos head up a lil bit but weh #not too compelled to fix it. #additional context that i think is fun; gus is just a touchy dude and he finds all kinds of reasons to pick peppino up #and every time peppino is like SO flustered and shocked bc itll be in the view of customers #like some sports team wins and its on their tvs and ppl are hootin n hollerin #and like people will notice and keep cheering and its alot hes like oh my GOD u cannot keep doing that im going to explode and then die #noise will do it to prove he can do it and then his back snaps in two bc he weighs like 80 lbs (36kg) #but for like a brief moment of time he is facefirst in tummy and hes ecstatic #theo it is not funny to be rushed to the er bc u broke ur back #also suggestive (but funny i prommy) #but he absolutely would be that like girl who needed a neckbrace from having her gf accidentally sit on her face too hard #hes like ouuuuhhghh....that was worth it. how long will it take to recover doc bc i wanna do it again :) #meanwhile. i think if that happened peppino would literally go into hiding. ur not finding him. #it would literally haunt him that he nearly killed this rat w his fat ass #as if this is not the way both gus and noise would like to go out. it would be peaceful for them i think #anyway #runs away cutely; see u in two weeks maybe

[yugiohio]

Funny how The Young Bucks, from what I've gathered as a casual fan, have always incorporated comedy in their wrestling or have not shunned the less than serious aspects of wrestling, and because of this people have taken to disparaging them, their gimmick and their show 'Being The Elite'. Despite their wrestling, their gimmick AND their show being immensely popular and clearly enjoyed by a multitude of people The Bucks are still discounted as performers and told to grow past the comedy act and be "real wrestlers" (which in this sport is an oxymoron but I'ma let it rock). So, for not the first time, they're turning heel. What does this entail? Infighting with their closest friend, darker gear, and no more BTE.

But now, folks are in the comments of BTE, on twitter, forums, and blog posts lamenting the unceremonious ending of 'Being The Elite' as if they had no part in this decision. Kayfabe or not, it had to be frustrating to do what you've done for the last twenty years, see it get recognition and then have that recognition turn to ashes in your mouth because every little booking decision that doesn't go the way that fans want ends up being your fault. So then you're special thing, which you've been doing for your entire life gets eroded by this perception of yourselves Super Evil Ultranarcassist Bookers that you cannot shake no matter what. Someone gets fired, you get booed. Someone gets injured and pulled from a match, you get booed. One of your (former) members refuses to put himself over and...you/he gets booed. Eventually, I'd get tired of it. I'd get tired of people claiming that they HAVE to watch my silly little YouTube show in order to understand the storylines of wrestlers who aren't even ON the show and very rarely ever have been, or of people claiming I'm booking myself as a champion when my win-loss record in the company I co-founded says otherwise. I'd be absolutely exhausted at those same people being disappointed in my win-loss record and almost daring me to use my power to book myself and my comrades better but I know if I do this then I will earn the ire of these discerning fans so I keep losing to be safe. I double down: cancel BTE, no official statements, no ending episode, just a tweet from a known associate going ,"Yeah they said they good on that shit fr fr...they might talk about it later idk".

It's likely because I can be a very spiteful person at times but even if this is all a work, I support The Young Bucks in taking a step back from BTE and any other extracurricular thing they do to connect with their fans and further their stories. No more Being The Elite until yall appreciate what it is and what it's done for the company.

#the young bucks #the elite #being the elite #aew #all elite wrestling #Ima say it again All ELITE wrestling fym. Leave these dudes alone bro they can't please everyone. Also theyre busy. #we're lucky bte even kept going past 2020 because its not like their lives arent hella busy. too busy to keep up with a long running sketch #series that at this point has to be a 3rd job for them as EVPs AND active wrestlers in AEW #like i said I'm no Elite mark and casually enjoy each of them but i also see how theyre discussed online #and how that carries over to the shows as well. Wrestling fans take their proximity and the respect for their collective voice granted #and it shows when wrestlers who for all intents and purposes have not had any major controversies other than over utilizing the Superkick #are treated like a plague. How tf are they killing the business when they helped to innovate it?? You think other promotions started #improving in a vacuum?! No! the threat of a small lil can do company with some fresh talent scared the shit outta US based wrestling promos #Because of who??? The Elite. The Young Bucks. Kenny Omega. Cody Rhodes. Chris Jericovid and Tony Spawn. #wrestling #wrasslin #text post #anyway rant over but don't complain about something until it literally is driven from existence by your complaints and then complain about #its lack of existence. #For the record: what got me MORE into AEW was being able to go back and literally see the company essentially start on BTE. I still haven #t watched from the beginning because holy shit no but I did start right at the first All In more or less. I could see how hungry and passion #ate they all were. Then I watched Double or Nothing (because I'm a Mox mark through and through) and I felt in on the joke yknow? This was #just a couple of dudes who really love wrestling being given the chance to put their money where their mouth is and start something new. We #all got to and still can see that happen from scratch. On BTE.

[ria-starstruck]

baby. you are baby.

#filled with emotions (punching the wall) #outer wilds echoes of the eye #echoes of the eye #echoes of the eye spoilers #outer wilds echoes of the eye spoilers #art #the reason i say theyre baby is like. the action of going and undoing the eyesignalcloaking feels like something that someone young would d #in the ''ok i dont really get why we/you're so up in arms about this . i dont understand where this hatred is coming from'' #''i don't understand why this is necessary it makes no sense to me'' #in the kinda perspective that a younger person whos still got a fresh perspective on the world would see. if that makes sense #used perspective 2x in the same sentence lmao. anyway whatever if u get it u get it if u dont u dont. slay #<-dont agree w these tags so much now that ive finished eote but keeping them up for posterity

[pcktknife]

man I'm gonna have to move pretty soon and it is not putting me in the greatest of moods

#ive been ignoring that its something thats definitely going to happen but whenever i think about it i get just incredibly upset #like i really don't know how many 'fresh starts' i got in me cause its really wearing me out #i dont get to have any lasting friendships bc im not good at keeping in touch especially if its long distance #and it is Exhausting why put the effort into making friends and meeting people at all if in 2 years you lose everyone anyway #sigh whatever its super late so i should probably just go to bed and stop thinking abt this before i start to spiral or smth...gnite <3 #kae.txt

[b0ydyke]

the cycle as a motif in touching yourself and something has to change by the japanese house

#words #reminder #the japanese house #touching yourself #something has to change #the cycle #web weaving #it’s driving me crazy the cycle i wanna get out please!!! #mine #this stayed in my drafts for two weeks lol but someone messaged me this is going in REMINDERS #it’s the same thing you’re repeating yourself !!! #and ur heart keeps breaking in the same place fr #to think i cried on the train in 2020 listening to that first track (u took to same train ur back where u started) #because i was fresh from heartbreak and now i am just permanently like that #someone tell me if this is life because amber bain NOT HELPING . #parallels

[collegeoflore]

rotating post-game xarrai and astarion in my mind. if u even care

#cannot stop thinking about the guy who hates flowers going out of his way to keep a fresh bouquet on the table at all times. #and the guy who could not care less about sewing or embroidery always picking up pretty thread and fabrics and patterns when they see them. #it’s about the cup of coffee on the bedside table while the blood is still drying on their throat. #and the dirt and blood under their fingernails hunting game to keep him fed. #it’s about burning cazador’s palace to the ground and building their own home in its place and it’s about razing the black keep in mulmaster #idk man i hate them so bad #they’ll never live happily ever after but they’ll have a lot of fucking fun no matter what #they can’t fix the hurt they’ve felt but they can make new memories to soften the old #until it’s all wrapped in the gauzy warmth of their years together and it’s not too sharp to touch anymore #do you see my vision. it’s not about fixing one another it’s about learning to fix themselves #it’s about carving out a life that’s theirs and theirs alone. it’s about having something to be proud of. #cazador is dead and bane is out of xarrai’s head and now they get to learn what it means to live and love and be free #漫言 #oc. xarrai #r. hold me like a knife

[potatobugz]

DOING THE THING WHERE I TAKE 2 OF MY INTERESTS AND MASH THEM TOGETHER AGAIN...

OK SO. this idea came to me in the sweet tender hours of the morning last night, so I stayed up until 3 in the morning conceptualizing & drawing these guys. Help

#jsab #homestuck #OHOHO THIS ISNT EVEN ALL THE CHARACTERS I HAV PLANS FOR THESE R ONLY THE MAIN FOUR #im not telling you the rest of the characters or their aspects to keep it a surprise but #the only one i will give you is that the boss from long live the new fresh is a rage player (smiles so wide) #WHO CARES IF IM CRINGE! IM LIVING MY BEST LIFE!!! #sorry fellas i am nerding out over classpects bc they r such an interesting part of homestuck 2 me #anywho. feel free to ask questions abt them bc i have a ton of headcanons about jsab in general and id be more than happy to ramble abt it #jusg; fair warning i am a very slowly typer + i take forever to respond bc i have the social skills of a chicken nugget...... #i promis i dont ignore people on purpose its just something i need to get better at doing ;_; #hs #I ALSO MIGHT STEAL THIS NAMES FOR JSAB IN GENERAL CUZ I MEVER HAD NAMES FOR THE SHAPES THERE #homestuck au #i am going to call this.... #beatstuck #cuz it sounds catchy #beatstuck au #potatart

[elegyofthemoon]

listen i also think 2b is hot but also i am very very tired of walking into the tags every now and then only to see sexy art of her this is not what im here for im here for the existential crisis

#snow speaks #i would talk more about nier automata if i could but ALAS EVERYONE IS TOO FIXATED ON HOT 2B... #I GET IT ME TOO !!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO PLEASE I JUST MISS THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS THIS GAME GIVES ME GIVE IT BACK #aughhhhhhh #if i could id replay the game all over again #im at a point at least where i barely remember anything but quotes every now and then #so if i could play it then itd be like playing it entirely fresh !! and thatd be nice #but alas i cannot :( #and tbh like. #the thing with nier is that its not even the characters itself that gets me but the whole theme and story #the characters are only pawns and tools to the rest of the story #yes sure they have their own backstories and stuff but i think i could not appreciate them without enjoying the story itself #like i just love love love nier for how it focuses a lot on the idea of seeking out purpose for yourself #'a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself.' #throughout the entire game you see the androids/machines try to find purpose and meaning in this otherwise meaningless world #does it blow up in their face? yes but to them that is a purpose to live #and enough to keep going #is that not what we're all doing? trying to wade through the waters of this world in hopes that we'll find a purpose to keep going? #i whhhhh i miss you nier automata #i miss just how much this game means to me and how it played a lot into shaping my view on reality and living #i dont think my words will ever suffice how much i love it #but i love it a lot #but yeah also like dont take this the wrong way either its just. im tired #if i could id kiss 2b but alas it was not meant to be :( (shes so pretty) #anyways hi #ACTUALLY IM NOT DONE HOLD ON #LIKE LISTEN #theres also this thing about attachment and suffering too that plays into it #the cycle of life and death and the cycle of attachment and suffering #many times these purposes these androids and machines find wind up blowing up in their face due to needing an attachment to their identity

[ankhisms]

dont know how to explain but i feel like that scene in black sails where anne has had the shit beaten out of her and shes on the floor of the deck and she just grabs the shards of glass on the floor and you just see her with her face in shadows gripping the shards of glass in her hands. yeah

#i shant lie i feel very suicidal but its like. a really weird feeling to have just very recently within the last month #have had a near death experience so the memory of me begging the universe to let me live and going i dont want to die i dont want to die #be fresh in my mind and like. conflicting with my feeling and thoughts of well i should just die i should just kill myself vs remembering #walking and waiting for help for hours begging any kind of god that could hear me to let me live. its a weird dissonance. #i just really hate myself and the audition didnt go well and i keep just going whats wrong with me. whats wrong with me. #how do i always manage to fuck up even with things i want so badly to do well in and to be good at and that i care about a lot #and why is there always something about me thay people find some reason to dislike or think is weird and offputting #anyway. whatever. whatever. whatever

[sorakingdomhearts]

For some reason I can’t get a multiple followers mod to work for Skyrim. I’ve tried three different ones, but Lydia and Deerkethus both refuse to follow me even if I dismiss Faendal and then ask them. I also tried resetting my follower count with the cheat command thing, but it’s still stuck. Lydia won’t even let me ask her to follow me anymore. I just don’t know.

On the bright side, while looking for a fix, I found a really good follower dialogue overhaul. Faendal has so much life now! He’s always got something to say! We just walked into a shop and completely unprompted he went “if it’s my fate to be ended by a dragon, so be it!” King.

#skyrim #mine! #i always bring faendal cause he’s like. my guardian. he’s here to keep me company and watch my back #(bc im no good at combat) #and i like the idea of him taking one look at me fresh out of helgen and going ‘shit this kid needs a babysitter’ #but i usually mod it and pick another character to be like. a second companion #always something different. reluctant ally or best friend or romantic partner or whatever #this time i might just go real hard on exploring with faendal if i can’t do that tho. just go real hard on the follower enhancing mods

[chaosdisorganized]

I just want all of this to fucking stop and be over with already. I'm so tired of hurting. Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I endured enough? I can't take this anymore. I want it to end.

#vent #tw sui implied #it hurts so bad #its still such a fresh wound even after so many years #the wound keeps festering and growing and hurting so bad and theres no relief #tw sh mention in tags #and i want to hurt myself so badly #i want to cut it out of me i want to alleviate this pain i need something anything to make it go away even if its only for a little bit #idk what else to do besides suffer what a pitful existence

[pepprs]

the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome

#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but #omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i #paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!! #and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great #that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re #just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #purrs #literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and #it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a #and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents #house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which #means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll #have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these #renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and #cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s #comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep #being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is #mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also #create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go #anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow #and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.

[arrowpunk]

Do circumstances in your life ever get so fucking insane that they don't feel real and in fact feel ripped straight from a novel or some shit? Because that's what I'm feeling right now and it is difficult to feel like the things that are happening are real and actually happening even though I know they are.

#ramblings of an arrow #having a time right now #hoping to high heaven I can somehow talk my parents into being decent parents #and failing that somehow talk them into letting my sister move across country to live with me until she finishes high school #I swear I have written this plot before with my own blorbos #dear God in heaven what has my life turned into #what sick hurt/comfort fanfic author tookover writing it #I'm not even having a bad time right now I just want to make sure my sister is alright #my own personal shit is going pretty okay for the first time in 6 months #but my baby teenage sister is in literal hell right now #and I cant just let that keep happening to her #not if I have even the slightest power to do something about it #I just hope I dont end up making things worse for her than they already are #though I cant imagine how that would be terribly possible at the moment #what in the fresh hell is WRONG with my parents

[yardsards]

my hobbies include watching the sheer horror on new therapists' faces when i tell them about my childhood

#eliot posts #i keep going through therapists cuz i get my therapy for free from the university #and they started putting limits on how many therapy sessions you could get from the normal clinic #so i go to their other clinic that has like. grad students getting their first clinical experiences while being supervised by a real doctor #(through recordings and a 2 way mirror. i do not get to see the real doctor's face. it's odd.) #so i get a new one every semester or so as they complete their programs #so these are fresh faced newbies that i probably make question if they're REALLY uo for the job #i mean i HAVE been told i'm a good client very open about shit very willing to try things etc etc #but they do have to listen to an hour of Horrifying Shit That My Parents Should Be In Jail For #this new lady is nice though and she Gets my issues for the most part #my previous lady that i had for the summer kinda sucked. idk if she was bad at her job or just didn't click with me #but she always managed to zero in on shit that was Not The Main Issue #some therapists have this tendency to like. focus on the Standard Depression Shit and try to treat that #(sometimes even trying to treat depression symptoms that you don't even experience) #cuz that's what's in their wheelhouse #like i'll tell some long complex issue but briefly mention like ''i kinda wish i just didn't have to keep living through all this'' #and they hone in on that minor thing because suicidal thoughts is something they know how to handle #they don't know how to handle Whatever The Fuck I Got Goin On. no one really does. least of all myself. #mental illness mention #abuse mention in tags #suicide mention in tags

[glitterdisposition]

the sun is out! i went for a run! i went to the park and played fetch with my dog! i got all my tax info together so i am (hopefully) getting my returns soon! i customized some tshirts that have been in my “project” pile for like six months!

#thank u vitamin d #now im gunna open all my windows and do a lil bit of spring cleaning #i out this one off the longest because something about it makes me want a glass of wine #and i am trying not to day drink anymore #if i can at least get my makeup corner tidied and put some fresh sheets on my bed #i know i’ll feel a million times better/ more motivated to keep going tomorrow #trying to do little things every day instead of forcing myself to clean sweep my entire depression mess in one sitting