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inamindfarfaraway · 3 months

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The Exorcists’ Masks of Virtue

The vast majority of Exorcists in Hazbin Hotel have a notable design element that other angels don’t: their masks are missing an eye. Specifically, the right eye.

I believe this is a reference to the Bible, Matthew 5:29. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”

He’s being hyperbolic. Mr Free Healthcare was not pro-mutilation. What he means is that you have to be willing to make sacrifices to prevent sin. The context of the eye metaphor is him condemning adultery and warning that even something as easy, casual and small as a look full of lustful intent can lead to further, worse sin if you don’t notice your sin, hold yourself accountable for it and do the work to not let it influence your decisions. This will probably be hard. It could be very, very painful. Changing your perspective can feel as horrible as plucking out your eye, so many people can’t bring themselves to do it. But although it won’t feel that way in the moment, it’s healthier for our general wellbeing in the long run to abandon traits and behaviours that damage ourselves and/or others.

(You may notice that Jesus’s teaching that you can have sinned, redeem yourself by giving up sin and thus escape damnation is the founding principle of the Hazbin Hotel. You may also notice that it contradicts everything the Exorcists believe.)

The Exorcists seem to follow this idea of painfully excising badness for the sake of the greater good devoutly to the point of placing it above teachings like ‘Thou shalt not kill’, with their job being to remove sin, in the form of sinners, to protect Heaven. Hence the missing right eyes. They’re a declaration of moral righteousness and inability to stumble.

But the truth is that the Exorcists all have their right eyes. Their flawlessness is a facade. Underneath, they are untouched, think themselves morally untouchable and, as shown by their horror and outrage when even one of them is killed, would much rather be physically untouchable too. This perfectly represents their complete unwillingness to acknowledge their own faults, let alone improve. They are never the ones who sacrifice. They force the sinners to sacrifice and don’t compensate it with any salvation. They metaphorically rip out the sinners’ eyes, but still condemn their entire bodies as inherently, permanently sinful. So they’ll just have to do another Extermination to get the other eyes! And another one to cut off their right hands! And so on until there’s nothing left.

The only exception to the rule is Vaggie, both in appearance and character. Her mask has the left eye crossed out instead. Even before her expulsion, she’s set apart to the audience as an Exorcist who has the capacity to, shall we say, see a different side of things. Her mask having its ‘sinful’ right eye reflects her understanding that the Exorcist worldview is wrong.

When she almost kills a demon child, her hateful vision clears. She discards the part of herself that’s an unquestioning, merciless agent of death, terror and grief… and as punishment for what Lute perceives as treacherous weakness, gets her eye plucked out.

Of course Lute leaves her with only the ‘sinful’ eye. It brands Vaggie forever as the inversion, a perversion, of what the Exorcists are meant to be.

You know, all this talk of eye removal in the Bible reminds of another line - ‘an eye for an eye’. Adam directly quotes it in “Hell is Forever”. He uses it to frame the Exterminations as Old Testament-style punitive justice; the sinners did harm and so they receive it. But putting aside the debate about how ethical the concept of revenge is, the entire point of taking an eye for an eye is that it’s proportional. The punishment fits the crime. If someone cuts your eye out, you shouldn’t murder their whole family in front of them and then slowly disembowel them to death. That would be the sin of wrath. You should just make them pay without excessive pain or collateral damage. This is the fairest form of revenge.

The Exorcists don’t do that! The Exterminations aren’t proportional to the wrongs of all they hurt, nor was Vaggie’s brutal punishment equivalent to her extremely mild insubordination. Lute literally takes Vaggie’s eye, and more, after Vaggie does nothing to her! That’s the opposite of the phrase! Adam and his soldiers are wrathful and cruel, deriving satisfaction from others’ suffering. But they just can’t stop going on and on about how disgustingly evil the sinners are, in total hypocrisy… despite some of the sinners being far better people than the genocidal Exorcists are… it’s like they’re obsessed with specks of dust in the sinners’ eyes when they have massive logs stuck in their own. Oh hey, that’s in the Bible too!

#both emotionally and symbolically i am rooting for vaggie or charlie to take out one of lute’s eyes #i was like ‘cool vaggie’s missing the opposite eye to her former mask!’#and then i went back and saw that her mask was also different #and then i went down a rabbit hole of biblical mentions of bad things happening to eyes #i know god and jesus (and the holy spirit) probably won’t appear in the show #at least not in person #but i do cherish the mental image of adam and his genocidal army hanging out #when jesus christ bursts in with a whip #and gets all ‘you have made my father’s house into a den of thieves’ on them but an order of magnitude more intense #because HE SAID LOVE ONE ANOTHER #WHERE IS THE LOVE #HE SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED IT #i’m not christian! i’m a hardcore atheist!#religion is just as fictious to me as egyptian mythology #however i am also autistic and have major special interests in mythology and folklore #so here i am fervently writing analysis of the sermon on the mount #hazbin hotel #hazbin vaggie #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggie #hazbin hotel exorcists #hazbin exorcists #hazbin hotel analysis #hazbin analysis

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ilylovelyz · 9 months

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kenma fatherly headcannons

i thought it would be interesting to think about what kenma would be like as a father 🤔

look, im not even gonna be nice with it, i definitely dont see kenma being excited at the idea of having a kid 😭

definitely was like "are you being fr 😟?" when you told him

he obviously wasnt an asshole about it, but he couldn't help his feeling and indifference about the whole thing

the two of you had a long talk about it

the whole time he was more or less "are you sure about this"

hes not a horrible person/partner, he wasnt about to force you to do an abortion

he just wanted to make sure this was actually what you wanted to do and if you were actually serious about it

after you were stern about keeping the baby, he was fine with it

he was more worried about how he would be like as a father because he's very much scared of little kids and struggles to bond with just anyone

also a little peeved at the thought of his alone/free time being taken away

doesnt like the idea of his alone time with you having a literal permanent third wheeler but wont admit that to anyone but kuroo 🌚

during ur pregnancy, he was actually really okay with it

he would check up on you various times of the day, asking how you feel

yeah, he wasnt really excited for it, but that doesn't mean he wont try for it

would pause his games and go to wherever part of the house you were in, eyeing your baby bump with those wary cat eyes of his, all "..how are you feeling..?"

tbh i see you getting pregnant before marrying him because the two of you were kinda lazy with being careful 😅

he kinda facepalms because now hes like "why didnt i think of the possibility of pregnancy🤦🏽‍♀️"

while it doesn't speed up the whole process, he'll now begin taking the thought of marriage seriously

he'll bring up the idea of eloping, or a small wedding because he doesn't like the idea of a big and elaborate wedding ceremony/party

he didnt really care about gender, but he did care about baby names because he didnt want the baby to have a stupid name

now i see him being very curious tho

so he'll ask you a bunch of questions about how it feels to be pregnant, eyes wide when you tell him all the gruesome parts 😭

will also spend some time looking up more information about pregnancy and childbirth

now i do think he'd be aware about how he should change himself for the better

he grew up kinda isolated, and he 100% didnt want that for his kid, especially considering the fact that his child will most likely be an only child too

aw sleeping in kenma's arms while he plays video games cuz hormones made you sad

he'll like announce ur pregnancy to his followers/fans, it was so random he was like "yeah guys im having a kid 😪 kinda scary ngl" during one of his livestreams

really appreciates and is totally surprised when he's gifted money and baby supplies by his fans

maybe posts short little clips of you sleeping in an odd position or doing random things because he thinks its funny how you now do things differently because your bump prevents you from doing things in a certain way

i think it would interest him in the way your baby bump grows

he would be a little mortified at the way he would poke your bump's skin and watch his indent stay there long after he pulled his finger away

would be kinda "??? 🤔🤨" when he first feels the baby's kick/movements

he would "begrudgingly" walk to the store for you late at night if you were craving something

acts all annoyed but lets bffr kenma we know ur a softie 🤣

okay for the birth tho he's so mortified

definitely doesnt want to watch but obviously will be there for you because he knows better

the whole time he feels secondhand discomfort for you and feels your cries in his deep in his core cuz ur in pain and he doesn't like that 😕

this might sound weird, but i see him bringing his portable gaming system to the hospital so you can play with him and get ur mind off things

not saying his feeling towards the baby will change after the birth, but he'll definitely be like "oh wow 😳" when the baby is first born

have u ever seen that clip of steve irwin first looking at bindi when shes born and hes all amazed and awestruck by her?

its like that but its less noticeable and its more like "this is my child?"

a little scared to hold the baby at first because he's afraid to drop her

but once he does he'll look down at it and be like "ur not so bad afterall 😪"

DEFINITELY doesn't get any sleep during the first few months because he'll for some reason take late night feedings/crying upon himself

hes all "ur such a pain bro 😒" while rocking the baby back and forth to soothe it, all cuddly and gentle with it

tbh i cant decide whether it be a girl or boy so its up to reader to decide

omg hes mortified after the first belch spit hes gone afterwards

literally condemns the baby to hell

hates changing diapers but does it for the sake of the baby's comfort and health

when he's alone with the baby, he'd be like "ur kinda ugly 🤔" while playing around with it

tbh i see him getting random bouts of urges to play with the baby and speaking to it in a baby voice secretly

gets really embarrassed if hes caught and acts like it never happened

when ur not there to watch the baby while he's gaming he'll actually be okay with the baby sitting in his lap while he games

if he wins he'll be all "lets goooo 😝" all up in the babies face 😭 lifting it up into the air and just being such a gamer dad

also starts teaching the baby how to play games real early on, making them hold a controller or something and teaching them game logistics

the baby is like 5 months old and doesn't know about taxes but knows about dnd 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️

i see him like announcing the birth of his kid to his followers/fans a couple weeks after the birth

only shows what the baby looks like when its like 6 months old and crawling all in the background, he'll turn around and be like "wanna see my baby?", lift up the baby and put it's face all up close into the camera 😭

does 0.5 and only 0.5 photos on the thing 😅

does a couple more streams afterwards when he "games" with the baby and blame loosing on the poor thing 😅

aw i can see him and the baby having matching outfits when he goes out with it

he's not the best dad, but he'll try his hardest

on a sweet note, if kenma feels lonely when ur away, he'll allow the baby to sleep in the bed he shares with you as a "substitution" and cuddle with it

yk that tiktok audio that goes "leave me alone baby 😒" and then goes "ur my baby i love you ☹️☹️🥰😘" yeah that hes that

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lildoodlenoodle · 9 months

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First things first(spoilers for spiderverse/spidergeddon and comic noir storyline) this is a long post but you’ll have fun I promise. As always feel free to engage with the post, I’d love to hear different theories/opinions/conclusions on this in the tags or comments. Sorry it took so long!

Now I’m gonna say something morbid:

Spider Noir’s death in the comics was hilarious

Jarring, but hilarious. Like why’d he grab him like that. I physically had to shut off my iPad and go for a walk after this scene when I first read it.

But to my point, you know how some people say your birth mark is how you died in your last life?

Well post resurrection we might have A, B, and C:

(Now before anyone gets on me for, why would you do that/even think of this? In my defense, I couldn’t remember where he was grabbed, it’s been a while since I’ve read these. I thought it was gonna be on his back or shoulder and I’d give him a burned on handprint going all ‘gripped you tight and raised from perdition’ which is cool, fun, sexy, and conveniently hidden. Then I reread it and it’s basically a permanent face palm. Also pretend his face looks the same in every one. Couldn’t decide on hair either lol.)

Either way post resurrection Peter should have physical after effects of his resurrection. Either lines all over his body from having the life force sucked out of him or birth/burn marks on his face. I think this would be hilarious, angsty, and interesting. I also hate when people are just resurrected willynilly. LET THE TRAUMA OF DYING AND COMING BACK TAKE ITS TOLE. Especially if it’s multiple times.

In MK: Midnight Mission they, pretty recently, came up against this problem with the MK system being resurrected over and over again and facing really no visible consequences. But then we find out, there isn’t really a limit(ignoring the whole Khonshu imprisonment), but eventually mentally, there will be nothing left to resurrect. And the mindless mummy warrior creatures we meet from Khonshu’s ‘world’ were old avatars that wasted away from resurrections. It explains the alterations and perversions of the MK system’s mental conditions, because they are actively being altered and changed, to be brought back, by a multidimensional creature that doesn’t care about their mental health/state(that Khonshu takes advantage of, knowing what he’s doing). Sound familiar?

Now, time to get philosophical. Ship of Theseus.

What is it? Ship of Theseus is an ideological/philosophy problem about a king, Theseus, who saved the children of Athens from king Minos and the Minotaur and then sailed his ship to Delos. Then each year Athenians would sail that same ship from Athens to Delos in celebration of the myth. Over time they kept replacing parts of the ship for maintenance purposes, till every plank had been replaced, so they could still make the voyage. Now the question is, is it still the same ship? At what point did it stop becoming that original ship? And does it matter?

Applying this philosophical exercise to resurrection, with what we know above, we can get an interesting dialogue going. But, with that said, it’s important to keep in mind that the resurrection process in this context with these multidimensional gods isn’t explained with enough detail to really take it apart. Like what happens to the soul? Is the brain damage we know Marc has from repeatedly dying and his brain repeatedly going without oxygen or is it from just interacting with a multidimensional god? Is the spider god comparable to Khonshu? Is the spider god even real, if not what or how was Peter actually resurrected? And if it is real, what is its main goal? At least with Khonshu we know he has an agenda. What does it want, what’s its end game?

But let’s get into it anyways.

Now, you may be wondering, why do I keep saying multiple resurrections in regards to Spider noir? I am so glad you asked! I believe Peter's initial spider bite killed him. He had to go to the afterlife to actually see the spider god. That’s why we really only see them three times, at the initial power conception, Peter’s resurrection, and when Peter goes to the ‘underworld’ in the 2020 run. We see something similar with Khonshu in Midnight mission, while he’s in space jail, Marc can only see him during resurrections or while he’s dead. And while we’re comparing the MK system to spider noir, when Marc got his powers, he basically had to die first. That was implied to be his first resurrection. So this wouldn’t be a one off situation. We have some rules.

What we don’t see with Moonknight and Khonshu is visual physical change. Outside of the ghost bird skull armor the boys aren’t visually changing. Meanwhile, Peter has physically turned into a monster before and turned completely back. In #4/5 of the 2020 noir run the cicada stone/pink meteor turns people into monsters, but not everyone. Huma turns, Shocker turns, Peter turns, and all the resurrected villains(one guy just explodes). But Hu-Ri and Checkpoint Red don’t, until Hu-Ri touches the stone. Huma and Peter are both in close proximity to eldritch beings, them turning into inspired versions of those beings make sense. The Shocker turns because he spent so much time holding onto the stone, whereas Red hasn't. But notice Shocker and Hu-Ri don’t turn into an animal inspired version of themselves like Huma and Peter do, he becomes more of a hulk like creature, because he isn’t attached to an other-worldly being. And when Peter turned back he essentially said “that hurt like a bitch” and kept moving.

If we want to keep with the canon noir timeline and going with the idea that the Spider god is either continuously changing Peter, or just changing him during resurrections this would explain the webbing and mood/personality change from the 2009 comics to the 2020 comics. But that’s boring and too simple and I hate the time jump so fuck that shit.(again another post).

So let’s focus back on ‘Ship of Theseus’ in the context of resurrection. We have too many questions about the process of resurrection for spider noir to properly have this conversation, but I’m going to try anyways. Let’s hit what we know again: resurrection changes your brain chemistry/structure, the spider god is changing Peter throughout the series, Peter has possibly had three resurrections, the spider god resurrected Peter from a different dimension, which confirms this is a multidimensional being(if she exists but shhhh). So now that we’ve established that there are changes happening to Peter(one way or another) we know that the spider god is ‘repairing’ Peter throughout the series or ‘replacing his boards’ so to speak.

At what point is this no longer Peter? Is it when he is no longer recognizable as a human? Or is it when there is nothing left in his mind to resurrect? Or has this never been Peter, or rather not since his first resurrection when he got his powers? Is this change sudden or slow? Is it the resurrection that turns him into something else, is it slow build up like an Iodine Clock titration and one day he just wakes up no longer human, or is it a slow process of subtle changes? But if the latter, what’s the change that does it? What defines Peter’s humanity? Does it matter if he’s human or not? Does it change anything for him if he’s no longer human in body and mind?

Part of the answer may lie in the villains we see through the 2009 and 2020 runs. In the first run the main villains were the Goblin and the Vulture. Both who were implied to not be human or having physical inhuman qualities(but I’m partially ignoring the whole carney thing cause honestly it’s ableist and boring). In Eyes Without A Face, the second run, the main villains are the Crime Master and Dr. Octavious, both humans with no inhuman or supernatural qualities. For simplicity sake, let’s focus on Octavious and Goblin. In comparing the two I think most people would agree Octavious is the more heinous of the two. Goblin takes on the role of a mob boss. He runs a crime empire, exploiting the defenseless in New york. It’s nothing new and he’s even somewhat sympathetic ‘I’m finished with freakshows’, you can understand how he got where he is. This is not to say he isn’t a villain but he very much fits the ‘villain with a tragic backstory’. People look at him like he is a monster, we, the reader, start out the story knowing what he is.

Whereas Octavious is not even remotely sympathetic because there is no empathizing with how he ended up there and why he does what he does. He is not only othered by his actions but also by the narrative for his disability(it’s important to acknowledge the ableism in his story but that is another post). Ultimately his delusions and the acts he commits make him a much more sinister monster than Norman, despite Norman actually having stereotypical qualities of a monster.

Then we have Huma and Shocker from the 2020 run. Huma is the closest person we see who is in a similar situation to Peter in terms of the spider god. While we don’t know all the details, whether she is the same as Peter, bearing a curse of power, or the actual god. Either way she presents as human and is not treated differently than any other human woman. At the end of the series we realize how corrupt she is and that she’s been working with Nazi’s, not necessarily for the ideology but to achieve what she wants. Her transformation is the nail in her coffin of her monsterous perception. The question is did we need her to look like a monster to see her as one?

In general we are left with more questions and theories than answers.

But onto my subjective answers to the questions. My answers might change over time so don’t hold me to them.

Of course it matters if Peter has humanity. Peter Parker across the board is one of the characters who HAS to hold himself to a moral code or he falls apart and becomes the villain(well maybe not the villain but you know what I mean) of the story. He holds back during fights and has a no kill policy for a reason.(Good men don’t need rules, today is not the day to find out why I have so many.-dr.who) But noir Peter isn’t your typical Peter. He kills, he maims, he doesn’t hold back. With that said, he still is held together by his morality. It’s just different than what we are used to seeing from Peter, but don’t mistake that as a lack of morality. However, do I think it’s a very real possibility that this morality could be eroded over time especially considering his home world and the above circumstances? Absolutely. Peter is someone who historically needs someone to ground him and ‘make’ him human. This is normally May Parker, Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy, occasionally Harry Osborn, Daredevil, Johnny Storm, and Flash Thompson, and the ghost of Ben Parker. Dude lives by a passing saying of a dead relative, he clearly doesn’t have a super solid moral compass. I think this is part of the reason the noir comics kept his relationship with May and Mary Jane(I disagree but whatever whatever), because he needs support to stay grounded.

Now, under what circumstances is Peter no longer Peter? I’m going with the Iodine Clock titration theory. Just drop after drop of ‘changes’ and morally questionable decisions that don’t seem to hold much weight, until he does something truly off the reservation. Like seeing himself do something truly horrific that a couple years ago he would have never done and shocking himself out of it. Or looks in the mirror and doesn’t see a person staring back. For either circumstance, because he’s appalled with himself or struck by the fact he doesn’t really care. This is not to say I don’t think he could come back from this but holy shit will it be a process.

But it brings us back to ‘If there is too much power then it is the responsibility of the people to take it away.’ Peter losing his humanity puts him in the Goblin’s place as the one with great power that cannot be trusted from the first comic. Whether it’s the resurrections, the spider god ‘replacing’ parts of him, or him just being pushed to the brink mentally that does it. Whether the change is physical, neurological, spiritual, or mental. This ‘Peter’ is not the Peter we first meet in 1932.

This is a different ship, and you can sail and stay on the same course in memory of, or under the false pretense of being, the original as many times as you want, but you cannot bring back the parts you replaced and undo the ‘improvements’ you made. But that doesn’t need to make Peter a monster.

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the-ninja-legacy-whip · 6 months

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HELLO YES I´D LOVE TO KNOW ABT JAY´S EYE??? i´m guessing skybound related?? (i am SOOO curious abt your plans for skybound btw aaaaaa!!!!)

(adgsfgsdfass i actually hadn´t noticed it first, my dumbass went and looked at the pretty lights of the ferris wheel and brain shut down lmaoo, gotta step up my game >:0)

also damn!! those are some GOOD colors, the atmosphere is amazing!!!! been to the beach when the weather is like that, scary stuff!!!

Operation Rainbow Lights Distraction is successful *-*)9

Kidding, but it's good to know that his eye is both subtle yet striking! S'what I was going for!

Anywaaaay, explanation time! Grab popcorn and really think about if you're ready to discuss fantasy eye trauma before jumping in <3

So we all know Jay gets an eyepatch in Skybound, but in actuality Clancee just gives it to him for aesthetic reasons, even though Future!Jay was seen to have one back in S5. And, of course, the fandom has run rampant with all sorts of deliciously angsty ideas (blinding him, making it a different color, gouging his eye out, etc), but I...can't do that lmao

-Blinding his eye completely would cause too much of a butterfly effect for a lot of the things he does in later seasons, and I am already juggling enough subplots lmao. Besides, this is one of the common go-tos for him and I wanna take a different approach. -I can't change the color of his eye without going against my own established lore (I did consider just making it a light blue but a) that's also a common thing and b) would wind up looking too close to Zane SO—) -I don't have the stomach to gouge his eye out completely. I can tear Zane limb from limb, carve into Kai's face like a Christmas ham, and have Lloyd nearly lose a hand but I can't bring myself to do that aaaaaaaAAAAA–

BUT I wanted to do something interesting with his eye, and to do something at least a little bit different from what I've personally seen.

Soooo then instead of some kind of external injury (that is, a physical trauma caused by someone/something else), I started looking into the effects that Lightning can have on the eye (so for my purposes, something Jay would inflict on himself). Turns out there's actually possible "lightning injuries" that can occur on the eye (rare though they are), ranging from star-shaped cataracts, electrical burns, iris collapsing (kinda cool, but also ew and horrifying), and ofc effects on vision itself without just straight up blindness.

There's also that I haven't seen very many changes with his sclera (white eye part) either. From scleritis to simple eye strain, the eyes can become bloodshot...but, what if it was permanent, and what if it was from electricity?

ANYWAY I put all this info into a blender and made the following smoothie out of it:

So during Skybound, Jay gets chained up in Vengestone on Nadakhan's ship and mercilessly tortured, yadda ya, but instead of one of the pirates inflicting harm onto Jay, he still tries to force the use of his powers even through the Vengestone, which causes an internal surge within him (as his powers "run in circuits", and applying Vengestone essentially makes his powers an "open circuit", meaning they have no current to follow/no outlet to head towards, so all that power/energy just gets channelled back inward and goes nowhere)

...meaning that the force of the attempt "blows" Jay's eye out from the strain (not literally, but think of it like he's having a contained Outburst, with all that power trying to channel out through the eyes as it would naturally but it can't). The resulting flash/pain turns his eye glassy, makes his eye bloodshot (but instead of "blood" its with electricity, hence the blue), and affects the shape of his pupil (making it diamond star-shaped, though you can't really tell in the tarot card unless you squint).

Resulting complications of this are that his one eye becomes extremely sensitive to certain amounts of light, his eye tears up randomly and get easily irritated, it causes chronic pain on that one side of his head, there's a on-and-off haze around his gaze, and he does start to gradually get worsening vision as he gets older (but not until he passes on his powers to whomever).

He wears the eyepatch when the environment is particularly bright (or he's meeting someone new and doesn't wanna freak 'em out), but without both his eyes his precision and evasive ability gets hindered (which is inconvenient when you're lightning. Also inconvenient when you're trying to teleport and lack depth perception). So, sometimes it's a gamble of if he wants to miss his target, or to avoid excruciating, crippling pain.

But other than that he's fine <3

#and thanks for the kind words on the art!!#you're such an incredible artist yourself so that really means a lot ;w;)/#and i can't talk too directly about skybound yet cuz I'm still ironing out s5 ahahaaaa (it's very dependant on how all THAT turns out)#(but it's one of *my* favorite seasons and i wanna make sure I do a good job when the time comes!)#ninjago #jay walker #info tag

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anfie-in-the-box · 10 months

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Brush Everything Away (At Last I Am Here For You)

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Notes

Welcome to my newest work! This one's finally not about Dreamtale but about Ink and Broomie!Papyrus. For inspiration thanks to @zu-is-here and her community!

Enjoy!

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Chapter 1

He does not have a name. None of them do. They probably wouldn't even know about that if not for the ever-present feeling of emptiness clutching their souls, minds, and bodies. Their world lacks a lot, so much they can't even comprehend. Details are of no importance though. The emptiness is always there, outside and inside, sharp and painful. They rarely talk about it — all's clear as it is.

"Brother?" What an utterly meaningless word. The two skeletons, the tall and the short, know for sure that's how they're supposed to call each other, but have zero idea what it means. They only try to stay together, since there must be a special connection between them if they have a special word. Right?

There's no one to answer. Nobody will hear, no matter how much you call.

Nobody will come.

"Something happened?"

The tall skeleton grudgingly opens his sockets. His brother stands a few steps away, looking at him curiously: all of them barely ever sleep, and the taller sleeps the least. It feels like, while sleeping, he loses the last fractions of his own existence, stops to be — even in this devective way he's being.

"Nothing. You just asked not to let you sleep, remember?"

He remembers. It's just… who knows what'll happen in the next moment. Change is a rare thing in their world, but they're even more rarely a good thing.

All of them have quickly learned two feelings — boredom and fear.

Their world is full of things barely half-way done, almost empty places and ideas never realised — words they know how to write and say but lack meaning. There are times when the hidden connections appear — that's how the monsters found out about their souls — or disappear without a trace.

They're all hopeless. The monsters know very little about their own kind, although something tells them hopes and dreams mean a lot. Like magic that their bodies are made of. But what's a "dream"? They don't know if they have that. Perhaps they do, unconsciously?

Various things happen in this strange world. Is it the way it's supposed to be?

The tall skeleton nods and gratefully looks his brother in the sockets. His brother gives him an understanding smile.

The taller skeleton's voice is too loud for this quiet, empty place. He prefers to stay silent. His brother, like many others, doesn't insist.

After all, what'd stay of them if they stopped accepting each other the way they are? There's a lot they lack as it is. They can't just lose each other, too.

His brother gazes at him in farewell, always caring and a bit worried, then takes a few steps and disappears. He always does that, though he doesn't know why or how. No one else can do this, so the tall skeleton thinks, Brother's special.

All of them are special in their own ways.

Unless they value their differences and similarities, what'll become of them?

That's a regular train of thought for him. They're all permanently in an existential crisis, they feel incomplete somehow, abandoned.

No answer.

Nobody'll come.

Frowns. This thought's already been there, the train's caught its own tail and begun eating itself.

What a peculiar image indeed. He's never shared it with anyone, not for an opinion and not to feel lighter. Maybe someday later.

He stands up easily, taking in the familiar scenery — waterfalls that lead to nowhere, cattail, stones shining on the distant ceiling, wooden bridges, and finally, endless fiery-red echo flowers, repeating what's been whispered and more, something unfamiliar and incomprehensible.

The moment he stands up properly to continue his walk, though, the caves where they live start shaking under an invisible force no one's ever experienced. Through the sounds of the water falling into nowhere and shuffling of cattail, there's a distant half-mad laughing. Then, there are screams. What's happening?

For the first time in forever, there's this oh so new, oh so unnatural thought, What's happening? Because in this world, there's nothing to happen, not anything this massive.

His feet bring him to the horrible sounds all by themselves, his mind screaming to run away. He's never known it, but now he does. That's what danger means.

The place where he lives with his brother is destroyed, and it's so easy to find the source — the blue strings of a skeleton he's never seen before and doesn't particularly see even now — there's a word "error" covering him. The buildings are ruined and the monsters are either dead or captured by the same blue strings. Then, there's another unfamiliar figure, fighting the first one.

He stops, panic rising in his whole body. Too much change! Too much colour! Too much noise! Too much! All of this! Please end it!

He falls on the snow, and that's when the two break apart — the tall skeleton notices the lack of noise but not the two strangers. He still looks up through his panic.

The second — his eye-lights change form and colour or is the tall skeleton hallucinating?.. — reaches him at the same time the first one's strings do.

Then, there nothing but darkness.

。。。

Credits

Undertale © Toby Fox

Error!Sans © loverofpiggies

Ink!Sans © comyet

。。。

Notes

It begins! How do you feel so far? I'm a bit unsure about the description of an unfinished AU. It's more thought-out than ____TALE, but still abandoned. I like to think that would be an interesting dynamic, but would it really? Look forward to your thoughts!

。。。

Navigation

#anfie writes #broomie's tale #error!sans #ink!sans #broomie!papyrus #not yet but the tag's still there because i feel like it #apparently I have no self-control because I can't even wait for tomorrow to post this #sue me! I'm excited!

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joshuadunshua · 9 months

Text

[Image ID: a cropped image of an excerpt from “The Will to Change” by bell hooks. Various spots are highlighted in different colors. Beginning from the first full sentence, the paragraph reads, “He was not interested in forgiving him or understanding the circumstances that had shaped and influenced his dad’s life, either in his childhood or in his working life as a military man.” The following paragraph reads, “In the early years of our relationship he was extremely critical of male domination of women and children. Although he did not use the word ‘patriarchy,’ he understood its meaning and he opposed it. His gentle, quiet manner often led folks to ignore him, counting him among the weak and the powerless. By the age of thirty he began to assume a more macho persona, embracing the dominator model that he had once critiqued. Donning the mantle of patriarch, he gained greater respect and visibility. More women were drawn to him. He was noticed more in public spheres. His criticism of male domination ceased. And indeed he begin to mouth patriarchal rhetoric, saying the kind of sexist stuff that would have appalled him in the past.” The last paragraph is cut off, the top which is visible reads, “These changes in his thinking and behavior were triggered by his desire to be accepted and affirmed in a patriarchal workplace and rationalized by his desire to get ahead. His story is not unusual.” End image ID]

Trans mascs that “speak out” against transandrophobia/anti-transmasculinity/transmisandry/antimasculism/whatever word of the month they’ve forced us to coin, I need you to see yourself in this. This is you. This is you leaning into the patriarchal role of “protectors of the poor weak permanently victimized women,” this is you leaning into the patriarchal role of “ignore your pain, ignore your emotional distress, ignore your psychological needs, stuff it deep down inside and suck it up.” This is you enforcing patriarchal (and therefore also white supremacist) attitudes about gender. This is you learning to shift how you operate under the “logic” of a white supremacist, capitalist patriarchal system so that you can get and maintain access to what little scraps of privilege the system will give you for your conformity.

You cannot apply “logic” to oppressions—it is not a math equation you can solve for. It is not internally consistent.

(And when I say logic, I mean formal logic, I mean mathematical logic, I mean specifically Western conceptualizations of logic.)

You can’t simply state that “men don’t face oppression for being men because that then logically means [something untrue about women’s oppression] would be the case and it’s not.” Oppression is inherently illogical. To assume it operates on a truly definable and fully understandable logic is to suggest there’s a “good” reason for its existence. Which if you examine that for just a moment, you find it also then suggests that there is truth behind how oppression works. Or rather, that oppressed people did some thing or are some way that deserves oppression in response.

White supremacy doesn’t operate on any logical basis. Patriarchy doesn’t operate on any logical basis. They weren’t constructed to be logical, they were hardly “constructed” at all. They came about specifically to uphold and maintain powerful people’s access to power. To call the systems “constructed” is almost to give people too much credit.

Perhaps at one point “white supremacy” was a very specific spark in the mind of quite a number of powerful fair skinned Western Europeans, (though many would understandably point out that white supremacy existed well before it was made explicit), but to suggest that white supremacy as it exists now, as a self-perpetuating system that is able to chug away, an engine for capitalism built and sustained on the exploitation and slaveability of Black bodies, was consciously and carefully designed to operate only within specific bounds that we can define and uncover? That’s trying to use the master’s tools to dismantle the master’s house.

Trying to equate the operation of white supremacy with patriarchy, or any system of oppression with any other system of oppression (though you really do see this most often with people equating racism with sexism) similarly does not work because they are not organized logically. They are not separable entities, either. It is true that there are common elements to different oppressions (see: Suzanne Pharr, bell hooks, Paulo Freire) and it is true that the different systems are interlocked and work together to hold it all up (see: Audre Lorde, Patricia Hill Collins, Andrea Smith) and it is true that they impact people at different intersections of oppressive systems uniquely and dynamically (see: Kimberlé Crenshaw, Jennifer Nash, Bonnie Thornton Dill & Ruth Enid Zambrana) and the systems themselves intersect and interact in different ways to produce unique effects which are dynamic across time and space and context (see: Cathy J. Cohen, Patricia Hill Collins, Rita Kaur Dhamoon).

At the end of the day, too, this whole conversation is also excruciatingly Western-centric, and most often Americentric. The white trans mascs (and any other white queers) decrying the concept that men could ever be oppressed for their being men, that men’s experiences of oppression could ever be shaped by their manhood (or their proximity to it), betray their ignorance to men’s experiences outside of their specific version of Western patriarchy. It betrays their understanding of patriarchy, white supremacy, and feminism as having been wholly informed by white radical feminists who appropriate the language of Black feminism while maintaining essentialist perspectives that reify and protect the same patriarchy they want to critique. As though patriarchy is just about men holding power over women and not also about men holding power over other men, not also about women’s complicity in maintaining and perpetuating it, not also about Western nations holding power over the Global South, not also about kinship organization, not about nationalism, not about colonialism, not about international and transnational politics, not about capitalist globalization.

I suppose this turned into something much bigger than it was originally meant to be, but I have fucking had it. I am fed up with white trans mascs from Western countries whose understanding of feminism is stalled at the stage where they’ve learned that white neoliberal feminism is bad because it’s not anticapitalist or intersectional enough but they haven’t actually learned what the fuck that criticism means because they think or behave as though “intersectional” is just another word for “diverse,” which they also maintain a neoliberal understanding of. I am also fucking heartbroken for all the trans mascs who are willing to lean into this patriarchal role where they close off their own emotions and dismiss their own problems and downplay the reality of being a transgender person at their particular intersection all because they’ve been convinced that men’s problems aren’t real problems, that the oppression they experience because they are transmasculine people is nothing to do with their masculinity or association with or proximity to (and subsequent distance from) manhood.

To claim that there is nothing unique about transmasculine experiences of oppression at the intersection of trans identity and gender is to willfully ignore reality in quite the same way that transphobes do when what they protest is “trans ideology.” Trans people will exist whether you personally believe our gender claims or not, right? So to fail to incorporate us into your reality is to have the temper tantrum of a toddler all because the world and its people aren’t as simple and uniform as you wanted them to be. Similarly, transmasculine people will experience oppression at this intersection regardless of what you want to call it, but to demand that we capitulate to language that flattens our experiences along the lines of either being transgender (it’s literally just transphobia) or our proximity to womanhood (it’s literally just misogyny), or even the two together but-not-really (it’s transphobia and misogyny but it’s not because of your proximity to manhood), is to suggest that there is nothing unique about our experiences of transphobia and misogyny as transmasculine people. Is to suggest that unless and until we are perceived as men by society, our experiences with oppression and penalization (and privilege by this logic, but notably not in practice) are indistinguishable from those of cisgender women and there is no value in discussing, dissecting, naming, or otherwise acknowledging anything transmasculine people experience—and then on the flip side, when society does perceive us as men, suddenly our experiences with oppression and penalization (and privilege by this logic, but notably not in practice) are indistinguishable from those of cisgender men, and so there is no value in discussing, dissecting, naming, or otherwise acknowledging anything transmasculine people experience.

We’re either basically cis women or basically cis men, whichever is more convenient and makes it easier to disregard us in the moment.

#transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisandry #it doesn’t fucking matter what you want to call it they’ll say it’s discourse anyway #contributions to theory #self ID purposes here I am a white transmasc in the US #this post is definitely US centric or Western centric but like that’s largely intentional this time around #Black feminist language is to white queers what MLK’s I have a dream speech is to white US Americans #like idk maybe actually engage with it on its original terms before you start putting it in your own fucking mouth

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otomes-and-tears · 7 months

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Hey so its the first time I ever request something but I don't have money to buy the xod dlc and I'm craving bae content atm.

How about like how would he react or act with a gn reader who isn't that much of a jerk but is best friends with JB and also fits perfectly his, at least physical, type? It can be a headcanon, one shot or whatever you want, I just really wanna read something about him lmao

♦ Bae with someone who's his type ♦

► tags/warnings:

► words: 756

► A/N: OMG A BAE REQUEST! I LOVE BAE. HE'S ONE OF MY FAVE GUYS I WAS SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS!!

► Masterlist

Bae is the kind of person who deeply admires aesthetics;

He has dozens of different frames for his glasses just so that he can match them to his designer clothing;

So finding someone who fits his exact type would pique his interest;

Not enough that he’d stop being a snobbish wimp, of course;

But as someone who likes admiring cute things he’d make some effort to be around you more often;

He doesn’t even try to be subtle about it;

He’d find excuses to talk to you and give you the occasional compliment, although with his permanently sarcastic tone of voice and general attitude it’s really hard to tell if he’s being genuine;

And because he’s Bae, of course, he’d condescendingly give you advice;

Even more often than he does to most people, actually;

He’d suggest you style your hair in a specific way or another because it “looks better”;

And if you indulge him and wear your hair that way the following morning… Well, I’m sorry, but he’d take it as permission to act as your personal stylist;

He’d keep recommending specific hairstyles and outfits to you and if you didn’t wear them he’d be very patronizing about it;

Oh, and Bae would act like what he’s doing is a huge favour to you instead of the reality, that is that he thinks you’re cute and acts like you’re his doll;

If you manage to be best friends with JB, it means you have a high tolerance for people with huge egos, so being around Bae isn’t really that challenging;

JB would be happy to be able to spend time with both of you and would gladly welcome him hanging around;

Enough that JB, Bae and you become a little trio;

Other students at SSB will either think you’re a saint or be incredibly worried about your sanity for hanging around the jerks willingly;

But what can you say? Even if JB’s constant flirting with Bae bothers you a little, spending time with them leads to some very amusing situations, so it isn’t bad at all;

By the way— being the object of Bae’s interest and befriending him will lead to him giving you a few special nicknames, that he wouldn’t use when annoying talking to other people;

Oh, and regardless of your relationship being romantic or entirely platonic;

If he sees you in cute pyjamas he’s going to go absolutely feral;

I think the special nicknames are the point where JB would be 100% sure that he has a crush on you;

Sure, he acts a little different towards you, but the way he treats you is similar to how he’d sometimes treat Jeremy, another person he finds to be incredibly cute;

So she wouldn’t assume it to be romantic initially;

But when he calls everyone the same few nicknames it kind of stands out when he calls you something different;

She has an eye for gossip, and would start reading too much into every single interaction she witnesses between you;

And yeah, JB might have a bit of a crush on Bae (He’s an attractive jerk and therefore fits her criteria) but in a rare display of compassion, or maybe morbid curiosity as to how it’d play out, she decides to play cupid;

But, like Bae, JB is allergic to the idea of subtlety;

She would straight up tell you that she knows you have feelings for him and she thinks he very obviously likes you too;

And would proceed to feed you information about Bae;

Things that she learned from attending Jerksquad meetings and information Shiloh gathered for her;

Bae would not make a move until he’s forced to;

Being exactly his type wouldn’t change that, so unless you want to start dating him after graduating high school, making a move would be up to you;

He just thinks high school romances are silly and he intends to date to marry so he doesn’t want to waste time on something like this if it isn’t going to be serious;

And I do think his massive ego would kind of make him avoid a scenario in which he’s possibly rejected;

Anyways— if you do end up in a relationship, I don’t think that much would change;

Only that his insistence on dressing you up would grow and he’d go as far as to buy you outfits and accessories to wear;

He does have way too much money at his disposal and I think he’d genuinely have a lot of fun with it!

#xoxo droplets #bae pyoun #bee's writing #XOD #xod fanfiction #xod hc #Bae XOD

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wanted-to-be-nosey · 4 months

Text

Invisible strings (3/4)

Part 1 Part 2

AO3 link

Going to pretend its not months after the summer bingo ended...

Prompt fill: Submissive Peter wordcount ~1,800 warnings - mentions of nsfw, mutual pining, butt plug mention

“Did you talk to him?” Ned asked as soon as they found themselves a quiet corner.

“Well… not exactly,” Peter mumbled.

“You chickened out again, didn’t you?” MJ asked, glaring at him witheringly.

“Like you’d do any better,” Peter defended. “It’s not as easy as you make it seem. It always starts well, but then I look into his eyes and I just… anyway, I did talk to him. Kinda.”

“Did you use our suggestion?” At Peter’s nod, MJ continued. “I thought you were going to use that as a starting point?”

“I was going to. Or I meant to. But I was kinda overwhelmed at the time and he was so sweet, and hot, and he probably only went along with it cause its my birthday and he’s selfless like that–”

“Wait,” Ned interrupted, grabbing Peter’s upper arms. “You mean you actually did it? You didn’t just talk about it?!”

“Yeah…”

“Oh my God. So right now?” Ned exclaimed, voice rising in excitement. “You have Iron Man’s cum inside you, right now? Oh my God.”

Peter clamped his hand over Ned’s mouth before he could get any louder. Glancing over his shoulder he was glad to note no one had turned to look at the three of them packed into a quiet corner of his party. It had been hard to find privacy in such a large crowd. Not helped by the fact that he’d kept unintentionally drifting towards Tony throughout the party. The heavy, full feeling of the plug not allowing him to forget about his dom. Or well, his acting dom since the man didn’t want it to be a permanent thing – despite what his friends might say.

“Way to go, Parker,” MJ smirked. “I was starting to think you didn’t have it in you. Literally.”

Rolling his eyes, he huffed a laugh before slowly removing his hand from Ned’s face at his best friend’s silent request.

“You two are the worst,” he mumbled, wiping his hand on his trousers.

“Whatever,” Ned huffed. “So… if you’ve done it, why didn’t you talk to him?”

“Because you didn’t see his face when I asked. He looked like I was asking him to destroy his suits or something. I could tell it wasn’t exactly an easy decision for him. I guess, I mean, I don’t think he actually wants to be with me.”

“I don’t think he would’ve been helping you this long if he didn’t want to, surely?” Ned asked.

“I’m not sure...” Peter sighed. “Outside of our scenes and stuff he acts like nothing has changed. Like I’m still just one of the guys. If anything, he’s grown more distant when we’re in the lab or out in the field. He’s just doing his job to keep me safe.”

“Who’s keeping you safe?” a new voice asked, causing Peter to jump in surprise – unintentionally clenching around the plug in his ass forcing him to supress a moan.

He couldn’t, however, contain a groan as Johnny Storm of all people casually draped an arm around Peter’s shoulders. Schmoozing like the older hero was known to do. He could be as infuriating as Deadpool when he wanted to be.

“None of your business, Johnny,” Peter dismissed.

“C'mon don’t be like that, subby Spidey.”

“I told you to stop calling me that, asshole.”

Peter shoved the dom’s arm off him, not that it did much other than cause Johnny to start laughing as he rearranged himself by his side, a hand stroking his cheek before dropping it at Peter’s continued glare.

“Sorry. I just can’t help myself when you blush so pretty when I say it.”

“Ugh, you two should get a room,” MJ drawled.

“No, we should definitely not,” Peter rebutted.

“Oh? Don’t think about it or anything, Pete. You wound my ego.”

“Good.”

“It’s okay though, I won’t take it personally. I was hoping I’d get to meet your mysterious new dom tonight. Where are you hiding them?”

“I already told you, I don’t have a dom,” Peter hissed.

It was a conversation he’d had countless times with Johnny before. It had been hard to ignore when there had been such a difference in his behaviour seemingly overnight. It made sense that Johnny had been curious. He could understand his initial curiosity. What he couldn’t understand was the fact he wouldn’t just leave it alone.

“See, you say that. But we both know you’ve been seeing someone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Johnny said, looking genuinely happy for Peter. “I’m glad you found someone, I was worried when you had to take your leave of absence.”

“Shut up. I was away for less than a week.”

“And your absence was sorely missed,” Johnny replied solemnly.

“You two are ridiculous,” MJ groaned.

“Uh...Peter?” Ned whispered, slapping Peter’s arm to get his attention. “Tony Stark is coming this way.”

Peter barely had a chance to process what Ned had said before Tony joined their makeshift circle, having seemingly appeared out of thin air, slotting himself seamlessly between Peter and Ned, his eyes focussing on Johnny.

“We pack out the whole room with tables, chairs, food and games and you choose the one corner with nothing going on.” Tony shifted his attention to the circle at large. “Is it that bad?”

“No, Mr. Stark. Iron Man, sir. The party is amazing,” Ned stammered. Even after all this time he still turned into a blushing fan boy around the man. “We just–"

Ned was cut off when MJ jammed her elbow into his side. Tony eyed them curiously, but turned a quizzical eye to Peter.

“Is it too much?”

“N-no,” Peter reassured. “The party is great, we just wanted to chat, y'know?”

“Sure.” Tony nodded, attention drawn back to Johnny by Peter’s side. “Storm, didn’t expect you to show.”

“Y'know me, Stark. Never one to miss a party, especially one for my favourite sub.” Johnny punctuated his comment with a wink in Peter’s direction.

Tony tensed his jaw while Peter smacked Johnny’s arm. Trust Johnny to make fun of him right in front of the man he was trying to impress.

“I wasn’t aware you two knew each other,” Tony answered, his press smile plastered on his face.

“Of course.” Johnny stepped forward to wrap his arm once again around Peter, much to Peter’s visible annoyance. “We’re patrol buddies.”

Shrugging off the unwanted arm, Peter stepped closer to Tony.

“We’re acquaintances at best,” Peter muttered.

“Again, with the insults,” Johnny whined, hands dramatically clasping over his heart. “My poor heart can’t take much more, sweetheart.”

“Ignore him,” Peter told Tony. “Are you okay? Did you need me for something?”

Tony eyed him carefully for a moment, before seeming to gather himself.

“I just wanted to give you a ten minute warning for your cake. Didn’t want you missing it cause you were running to the little boys room,” Tony smirked, although his eyes remained tense.

Peter’s blush was not helped by the sniggering of his friends behind him. Before he could compose himself enough for a response Tony was walking away.

“I guess we should go rejoin the party,” Ned suggested once he’d finished laughing.

“Suppose so,” Peter muttered, eyes scanning the crowd behind him for where Tony had run off to.

“Is no one going to mention how weird that was?” Johnny asked, raising his eyebrows.

“What was weird?” Peter asked in response, turning to face him in confusion.

“That whole interaction,” Johnny said, gesturing to the space Tony had previously filled. “It was almost like…Oh my God.”

Johnny stopped talking to grab both of Peter’s shoulders, examining him like it was the first time seeing him.

“That’s the dom you’ve been seeing?” Peter tried to sputter a response, but Johnny just continued talking. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Tony Stark? Jeez, man. No wonder he was so touchy when I was talking.”

“We’re not dating,” Peter mumbled.

“Yet,” Ned unhelpfully added. “We’re still working on that part.”

“Ned!”

“You can’t deny it, loser.” MJ turned her attention to Johnny. “You saw it too then?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stark look jealous before, but hell, there’s a first time for everything.”

“He’s not jealous. He’s just helping me out,” Peter defended. “He’s a friend.”

“Please,” MJ scoffed. “He’s went so far beyond a friend, its not even in the same ballpark anymore.”

“So why haven’t you told him how you feel?” Johnny asked.

“How do you know I’ve not?”

“Because if you had, you’d already be dating.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Pretty sure he’s right, Peter.” Ned at least looked bashful under Peter’s returning glare. “Our last plan didn’t work, so we’re working on another one.”

“What was the last one?”

“Well, Peter asked Mr. Stark to fu–“

“Ned!” Peter exclaimed, once again shoving a hand over his mouth. “We are not telling Johnny about that.”

“Ooh, now I’m really curious. Was it kinky? I bet it was something kinky.”

“All you need to know, is that it didn’t work. I tried to talk to him, he agreed looking extremely conflicted and that was that. He wouldn’t be encouraging me to find someone else if he actually wanted me.”

“Oh, yes. Cause that doesn’t sound like something a completely self-sacrificial idiot would do if he thought it would keep the other person happy.” MJ deadpanned.

“MJ–“

“I’ve got an idea,” Johnny interrupted. “D’you trust me?”

Peter couldn’t help his smirk as he responded, “About as far as I can throw you.”

“I would say ouch, but last week you sent me flying almost an entire block, so I’ll take it. After the cake, just follow my lead. I promise it will help.”

“I’m not sure.”

“I’d bet on it! Hell, if it doesn’t work, I swear I’ll never call you subby spidey again in my life.”

Johnny stood with one hand over his heart and his other hand holding up three fingers, a picture-perfect boy scout if not for the mischief sparkling in his eyes.

“And if it does somehow miraculously work?”

“Then this year, during Spider-Man’s regular Halloween patrol, you’ll dress up as the Human Torch.”

Chuckling at the imagery, he looked to his friends who were both nodding and telling him to give it a go.

He had to agree that he wanted to at least give it a try. He didn’t have high hopes, but any hope at all was surely better than none. The plug inside him was a constant reminder of everything he could potentially have if their plan worked. A hope he desperately didn’t want to let go off.

“Fine,” he relented. “But you have to tell us the plan first.”

#starker #fanfic #dom tony stark #sub peter parker #tony stark/peter parker #sfsummerbingo23 #ned & MJ are trying to be supportive #jealous Tony #Johnny storm makes an appearance #I really needed someone to be a catalyst so apologies if he's OOC

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smokescreenstuff · 4 months

Text

Damn @1gn0re-th1s now I'm going to see how well I can write this. Smokescreen is not going to have fun.

Smokescreen decided it was a good time to take a drive. It was late at night, but everyone was still up. Nothing was going on, and Smokescreen doubted anything would happen. He had somehow managed to convince Ratchet to let him out of the base.

Smokescreen drove for a long time, he just kept going straight. He let his mind wander and quickly lost track of time and his surroundings. Only when he almost hit a tree, did he snap back to reality.

He must have been driving for an extremely long time and/or extremely fast to make it to a forest. He transforms into his bipedal mode and looks around. He's lost. He's about to contact Ratchet for a ground bridge when he hears something.

SM: Who's there?

No response.

SM: Come on, this isn't funny!

Again, silence.

Smokescreen starts panicking, it's dark, the forest feels smaller than it really is. He feels trapped, just like when he was in the escape pod. Smokescreen activates his weapons.

SM: Show yourself!

Nothing. Maybe he was just hearing things.

A sharp pain hits him in the back. He's being electrocuted. He hits the floor and falls into a forced recharge.

...

Smokescreen wakes up strapped down to a table. Wires and cables running from different parts of his body. A masked human dressed in black stands on a platform nearby.

??: Hello, Cybertronian.

SM: My name is Smokescreen! Now what do you want with me!?

??: We know how to make and power our own Cybertronians, now the next step is getting rid of the competition.

SM: What? Hold on, you're M.E.C.H., aren't you? Bulkhead told me about you guys.

??: That is correct.

SM: So what are you going to do?

??: We would kill you, but than we couldn't take control of your body. We could do what Silas did, but that's not very healthy. We could attempt mind control, but that's too much of a hassle. We could just get rid of your dead body by turning it to scrap, but that would take to long.

SM: So?

??: We're going to attempt something else. We want to see if we can turn a Cybertronian, human.

SM: What!? That's impossible!

??: We will see.

Suddenly Smokescreen starts feeling dizzy. The feeling quickly turns into a horrible helm ache. His entire body erupted in pain to the point where he wasn't even aware of anything else.

He felt his energy failing, he could feel every component inside him. It felt strange and unnatural. Smokescreen wasn't even sure if he was screaming or if his intake was just hanging open. All his senses felt like they were being overwhelmed at the same time.

He felt things changing, small at first, but quickly grew. The pain hightening to a point Smokescreen didn't believe was possible. All of his senses shut down at the same time. He felt like he was going to be deactivated, permanently. Smokescreen falls back into a forced recharge.

...

When Smokescreen next awoke he found himself laying on a cold metal floor. He attempted to push himself up, but he was too tired. A pipe lay not to far from him, he reached out to grab it only to stop half way. That wasn't his hand.

??: You're finally awake.

SM: Wha... What did... you do?

??: You're human now. We had no idea how you would look like in the end, but I quite like your new look. Not to mention your apparent albinoism has given me an idea of how to get rid of you.

Albinoism, Smokescreen knew that word. Raf had told him about it. They were looking at animals online when Smokescreen notices an unusually white tiger. Raf told him it was because the tiger had albinoism, a lack of melatonin. Raf said the tiger was in a zoo for its protection. Being that white made it hard to blend in, and more wanted by people wanting to buy illegal animals.

Smokescreen had thought it was absurd and silly. But now he feels like he's in the tiger's position. Trapped in a cage.

??: You're very quiet. That's unlike you. Are you thinking about something?

SM: Just about what you said.

Smokescreen was already regaining his strength.

SM: What did you mean when you said you had an idea for how to get rid of me?

??: I bet you'd sell for a good price on the black market. It would help us with our money shortage, just enough to get us started. I already have a buyer lined up, he'll be here shortly.

Smokescreen quickly reaches out and grabs the pipe, standing up as fast as he can, not caring how much his head protested.

SM: No way! That's sick!

??: Welcome to humanity, kid.

The man leaves Smokescreen alone. He starts banging the pipe against the iron bars. After some time a familiar figure stood close by. Bulkhead.

#tfp #smokescreen #tfp smokescreen #transformers au #humanformers

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minamorsart · 2 years

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How S3EP1 foreshadowed Rinharu's conclusion in The Final Stroke part 2

This iconic scene between Haru and Rin in season 3 has always intrigued me. As a huge Star Wars fan, I personally like to refer to it as the Force Bond moment. Kyoani stop reading my diary lol.

Long read under the cut!

Without trying to look too much through the lens of my own shipping goggles, I'd like to get into what is so important about this Force Bond moment and how it pertains to one of the plot points in FS2. Ever since I watched season 3 for the first time last December, I'd been wondering what the significance of this scene was, its purpose. Indeed, it shows the unique connection that Rin and Haru have always had ― the idea that no matter where they are in the world, they are able to feel the other's presence in the water, thus it serves as a reminder to them the reason they are swimming and what to aim for.

But what else does it have to do with the two of them and swimming? It is not only that they are starting and finishing at the same time in this scene, but in my opinion it is that they are swimming freestyle specifically that is important. And now that The Final Stroke part 2 has come out, I finally understand.

"When I swim for real, it's always free."

Because this entire sequence intentionally parallels Haru and Rin as they swim, I'd like to think that even though Haru is the one who says this line, Rin shares the same sentiment.

I love that Rin specializes in two different strokes. Butterfly is the most difficult one, yet Rin chooses to swim both butterfly and freestyle. It demonstrates his strength, his dedication, and his perseverance. It's just another thing to add to the list of why I love Rin so much. It demonstrates his competitiveness, but also his selfishness. But just as I love Rin for all of his good qualities, I also love him for his flaws. He's not perfect; that's the point. That makes him relatable and someone worth rooting for.

Rin wants everything ― to excel in both strokes, to compete at the world level, to win a gold medal, to stand on the same stage as Haru, etc. He's elated when he wins and he's crushed when he loses, yet he picks himself back up and keeps trying, and part of that is thanks to Haru and vice versa.

So after watching FS1, the idea of Rin permanently dropping free was a legitimate fear that I had. Sure, if Rin stuck with butterfly, he and Haru could still do relays together, and relays have always been an important aspect of Free!, but it just wouldn't be the same if they didn't race each other in freestyle anymore. Freestyle is just one part of their friendship, their rivalry, their dynamic which is always so much fun to watch. It's something that the franchise has demonstrated over and over again, how they continue to push each other and guide each other. Racing freestyle is their thing.

FS2 erased all of my fears, but if I had only paid attention to all of the signs, then the answer would have been clear to see long before. Their race in S3EP1 is one of those signs, a seed planted, evidence that Rin and Haru are not only meant to swim together, but also evidence of one very crucial thing which can be found in this conversation/interview that the two of them have, referring to that very moment:

Rin: Haru, how’s university life for you? Have you gotten used to your team?

Haruka: I told you last time. Not much has changed. What about you?

Rin: What’s with that. You’re so cold. You never tell me anything.

Haruka: I tell you a bit. So, how are you?

Rin: ……!!!! Well, it’s moving along. Because of Mikhail’s training schedule, I’m able to keep my speed up at the end of races. But I still feel like I did my best swimming on the day I first trained with Mikhail.

Haruka: I see. Speaking of, I think the first time I swam with the Hidaka swimming club was the time I swam the most natural with the water. University pools have a different feel than high school ones.

Haru and Rin swim their best when they are swimming together. This is the message. They are better together. And it's funny because they go on to say that them swimming so well that time is probably due to the fact that swimming pools at universities have better equipment than those at high schools, but I don't think that's all of it! It is obvious that individually, Rin and Haru were aware that they felt the other's presence in the water, but I don't think they had any idea that the feeling was mutual. And of course they don't talk about it. There are a lot of things that they don't talk about, which leads to so many misunderstandings between them. Those silly fools haha. I love them dearly.

We as the audience can infer that Rin and Haru are better together from what the show has provided us, but the fact that it is explicitly stated in this conversation between the two of them, even if they were not aware of it at the time, is really, really exciting! FS2 once again reaffirms this in the night pool scene, when Haru is able to enjoy swimming again when he swims with Rin. And not only that, but two staff members who witness their race make a comment that they may have set a world record. You can read a fantastic summary of FS2 here.

FS1 set up that fear of Rin dropping free, which was cruel XD but I understand now that it had to happen. Not only for the sake of drama, but because it was one last hurdle for Rin and Haru to overcome. They needed that conflict so that they could finally be on the same page and take the next step forward into their relationship. However one may view said relationship, whether platonically or romantically, there is no doubt that them swimming together was one of the critical issues addressed in part 2, and that they really are better together.

Since I have not seen part 2 yet and all of my knowledge comes from reading the graciously provided spoilers on the internet, there may be more to Rin and Haru's relationship that the movie touched on that I am not aware of. I didn't really get into Rin and Haru's characters and the nuances and complexities they have as individuals, but those are very important as well. And there are plenty of seeds scattered throughout the franchise hinting at their true potential together that I haven't mentioned either! But the Force Bond moment is one that really hits home for me. I don't know if something like that will ever happen again, but it still amazes me that it actually exists. It still amazes me that FS2 exists in all honesty!

Whatever the future holds for the Free! franchise, whether or not we will get to witness Haru and Rin pursue their dream in the world together, I still would love to see how their relationship will play out going forward. I want to see them cheer each other on and fire each other up. I want to see them have their fun banter and tease each other. I want to see them have their silly competitions where suddenly nothing else matters and it's just the two of them in their own little world, while their friends watch in exasperation lol.

But most of all, if there are any more hurdles that come their way, I want to see them overcome them together. I think at this point it's safe to say that they are on their way to being fully committed to each other, if they aren't already. It doesn't mean that there aren't going to be any hardships, that it's always going to be sunshine and rainbows, and that's okay. Relationships take work and they take compromise, but that's what I love about Rin and Haru. Their love and hate, push and pull, on and off again relationship, the amount of time they go without seeing each other, the long distance between them, is so compelling because it's so realistic. And I especially love that even though they 100% fit the trope of opposites attract, that's not all that defines them. They are so much more. They are wonderful people on their own, but they are also better together.

Rin and Haru have a really unique bond that has had me hooked ever since the beginning. I genuinely think they are soulmates, for soulmates come in all forms, whether it's your close friend, family member, or romantic partner. And it seriously feels SO good for a pairing I love to be explicitly validated in canon. Not a single one of my other favorite pairings have been validated to the extent that these two have. I'll love Rin and Haru forever ❤️💙

P.S. "Pretty" by Astrid S & Dagny is such a rinharu song. It fits them so perfectly I can't believe it ;_;

#rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #rinharu #harurin #sharkbait #free!#free! dive to the future #free! the final stroke #free! the final stroke spoilers #free! fs #free! fs spoilers #spoilers #writing #meta

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gilbirda · 2 years

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Piece by Piece

Every time danny uses his ghostly wail, he looks- and feels- a little less human (PR160) by @ghostey-o-toby

For the @phicphight

My AO3 series

[Read on AO3] [Read on FF.net]

The first time he felt it was after the Christmas Incident. They didn’t talk about the Christmas Incident, he wanted to leave it behind and forget the time he was forced to speak in rhyme because his anger got out of hand. He learned from his mistake and wanted to move on.

But that last Wail took a lot from him, and Danny wondered if permanent damage would come to him. He was thinking something in the lines of his vocal cords, or maybe permanent damage to his ghostly side - the Wail was quite draining and left him very disoriented.

But all parts were fine. He didn't think much of it.

***

When he tried to use it to stop the giant sphinx with Tuck’s face, while it failed to do its purpose, he was sure he felt something different this time. Something… cold, inside of him, as if his organs were freezing or something.

But his friend needed him and he ignored it. He needed his head in the game if he wanted to snap Tuck out of whatever the evil mummy had done to him.

Going back to human felt uncomfortable, like trying to push two magnets closer with the wrong side touching, but it was doable. He was half human, he had a human form. He ignored how the first few steps after transforming back felt like trying to walk in heels (don’t ask too many questions, it just was something that happened).

***

Danny admitted that something was going on after coming back from the chaos and the frenzy of dealing with a clone, finding out that Vlad was crazier than he thought and destroying the cursed lab with a well placed Ghostly Wail. After using his most powerful power he felt cold, colder than a corpse, and that's rich coming from a dead person. He tried to ignore it, but once he got home he changed in front of the bathroom mirror. Just in case.

It was subtle, and he only noticed because he was looking for the seven differences in the picture, but his skin was less tan - it was slightly greener than usual, the subtones colder than the usual warm flesh pinkish. He was… He was ghostlier.

His first thought was about Dan. The only other time he saw himself with blue-green skin was when he had to deal with a future evil version of himself. Dan was ghostlier, but was that only because he got rid of the human half.

He panicked. Was he losing his human half?

Bile rose up his throat and he almost didn’t have time to reach the toilet before the content of his stomach was emptied in the bowl.

Green. Something glowed toxic green in the water. It wasn’t his dinner, he didn’t eat-

He didn’t eat dinner. Or lunch. In fact, he only remembers drinking a glass of milk for breakfast and that’s it.

But he felt okay? He was okay. He didn’t feel faint or weaker, like he had done in other times he forgot to eat because of stress. In fact, he leaned more into stress eating than the opposite, but since the accident that changed. As did many other things.

Calm down, Fenton. He could fix this. If he controlled how he used his powers he could control… whatever was going on with him and his ghost appearance.

He hoped it was just his appearance that was affected.

***

But as these things are, he was eventually proven wrong - about both being capable of keeping control and that only his appearance was affected. It didn’t happen until the incident with the Ectouranium and the Disasteroid.

It had been an emergency and the only power that he could really use at the moment had been the Wail. In fact, he had to use it more times than once, not that he wanted to.

It was weird. When all was said and done, when Phantom saved the day with the help of his ghostly acquaintances, when Danny finally revealed himself to his family and accepted he had to live with his halfa condition… Coming back to human hurt.

He hid it well, of course, and he had a best friend to ask out and promote to ‘girlfriend’; but his legs were numb for a few minutes and he felt something sharp in his mouth - he later found out his canines were a little bit sharper than normal.

Thanks to the gods that may be that his first real kiss with Sam was chaste and didn’t involve showing her this new development.

Eventually, he had to. Eventually she asked why he hesitated before kissing her, why he didn’t want to go ghost and fight crime. It was like the fight when he gave up his powers all over again. When in the end he showed her she was very supportive, theorizing with Tucker that maybe ghost puberty was kicking in, cracking jokes about finally growing up.

He knew it wasn’t the case, but went along anyway.

***

The Ghostly Wail, while being the common denominator of his recent transformation, also became less taxing for him. It became easier, more natural. Using it was less scary, and Danny felt like he fell on his “last resort” too many times in the next year.

He also preferred his Phantom form. He didn’t want to think it was ‘the default’ form, because he was still human. He slept, he ate, he had human wishes and desires. He wanted to be an astronaut! He wanted-

Jazz confronted him. He didn’t want to go to college, actually. He said he wanted to, he applied for college, he did the dumb entrance exams of the most posh ones with scholarships and everything. He passed, because he likes science, but the acceptance letters still sat on his desk gathering dust.

But he didn’t want to go to college.

Sam was furious. They made plans to go to the same college and move into an apartment together. She said she wanted to go steady, that this was it for her. He had agreed that he was happy with her, that he was lucky to have a partner that understood his ghost fighting was part of himself, that having her support meant a lot for him.

And she meant a lot!

But he just-

She was in love with Fenton, the human with ghost powers. He understood now where the difference lies between that and being Phantom, the protector of the Infinite Realms, a halfa.

Sometimes, he saw the way her mouth twisted when he asked if it was okay for him to keep his ghost form. Danny knew that if he just explained that turning human was like pins and needles stabbing his skin, Sam would immediately agree to kiss Phantom instead of Fenton - but Danny didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to accept that he was losing his humanity.

***

Graduating from school couldn’t happen in a better moment.

The last time he used the Wail and came back to Fenton he had to lay down for a moment, his tongue unable to stop touching the sharp and long canines - fangs, he knew they were fangs - that didn’t go away with the rest of his ghostly traits.

He had to do something about this. His parents were deeply unobservant, but the other day his mother asked if Sam had done his nails and why she chose to file them into points. Jazz heard everything, but just looked at his claws with a furrowed brow.

Whatever. He was going to leave this place and his sister would be too busy after the summer break to care about him becoming a little more ghostly.

Instead, he spent his days until the move to the apartment Sam chose roaming around the Ghost Zone, taking in the sights. Sometimes a ghost he didn’t know challenged him or came to him looking for a fight, and he liked the exercise.

He liked being a ghost. He liked using the Wail.

He didn’t like going back to being human.

So he didn’t.

Who cares? School was over, he only came back home to sleep and the people that mattered knew who he was. But if they could stop giving him those worried looks that would be great.

***

It happened on a tuesday. The final straw that breaks the camel’s back.

A ghost he knew from his travels in the Ghost Zone came to Amity Park to bring the fight to his doorstep. He rose to the challenge and wiped the floor with the dude with one final and well placed Wail. His aim was impeccable and his breath didn’t falter when the attack was over.

“Danny, change back.”

Sam stopped him as he tried to enter his and Sam’s apartment through the window. She didn’t look happy.

“Why?”

“Please, just- please, change back.”

“Give me a good reason why. I’m fine like this for a while.” He tried to smile and placate his girlfriend, playfully floating closer to her.

Her eyes narrowed. “Change. Back.”

Okay, he didn’t like that tone. “No.”

“Change back to human, Danny.”

He growled. “No.”

She took a breath and uncrossed her arms, as if she had proved a point. “Then we are through.”

“That’s it? Because I don’t want to change forms?” He scoffed, squaring his shoulders when she did the same.

“No, Danny. We are done because you have changed and you don’t want to see it.”

“Changed? Yeah, maybe my ghost form is more blue and my tongue is forked, but it’s not that weird for ghosts.”

She had that worried look again, this time with pity mixed in her eyes. Sam walked up to him as she pulled out her phone, a picture already prepared in the gallery.

It was a picture of him in his human form, but he only knew that because in the photo he had black hair and his skin wasn’t as blue as in his ghost form. The rest was almost the same - fangs, claws, shining green eyes.

“You can’t change back, can you?”

Her voice snapped him out of his contemplation of that other Fenton he didn’t recognize.

“And even if you did, there is nothing ‘human’ left about you.”

“I… I don’t-”

“We thought, dunno, maybe it was a ghost thing. We thought you needed to pass some ghost puberty thing and then things would go back to normal. I thought…” Sam sighed and put away her phone. “This photo is from the last time you went human. It was for your sister’s birthday.”

“But that was-”

“Three months ago, yes. You haven’t changed back since.”

He hadn’t noticed. Days merged with each other, weeks passed by in a blink. Has it really been three months?

“And that day, you almost didn’t have a heartbeat. We checked.”

In those three months he had used the Wail too many times, he knew. He had become so used to it that he never considered what was happening to his human side, how it was consumed by the power, by the energy siphoned from the Infinite Realms.

“We asked Frostbite. There’s no such thing as ghost puberty.” Sam licked her lips, looking away. “Danny, we believe you are a full ghost now.”

The weird thing?

He didn’t feel anything at the revelation. It was almost as if he knew all this time. It was-

It was inevitable.

But he wasn’t Dan, he wasn’t murderous, he was the same old Danny. Just with less heartbeats and more blue skin.

“Okay, and what of it?”

Sam made a funny face, something between astonishment and horror. “What?”

“Yeah, what of it. Why are you treating it like it’s a bad thing?”

Her cheeks turned red. The screaming started.

Danny tuned it all out. Something, something it was a permanent thing, he was not going to age, and what about their life together, he had to think about the implications, etc etc.

Whatever.

He left.

If they wanted to find him they could go to the Ghost Zone, since it seemed like his stay was going to become a little more permanent over there. Like, ‘eternity’ permanent.

As he flew through the vast expanse of the Infinite Realms, Danny found that he didn’t mind that at all.

Back to Main Archive

Back to Danny Phantom Archive

#danny phantom #danny phantom fanfiction #danny phantom fics #sam manson #danny fenton #phic phight 2022 #writeblr #gil writes #fanfic #fanfiction

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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year

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More creepypasta AU/general headcannons...ramble.. thing

WHAOO

Slenderman and eyeless jack live within the same woods, with slenderman having his oldass mansion (fight me, im adding the mansion to the au, but its not going to be nearly as extravagant and cozy as the fanon) and eyeless jack with his little cabin

Slenderman is the only real permanent resident of the manor; anyone who comes to live inside it are usually temporary. Be that because its them choosing to leave, or they are forced to leave and are no longer welcome. Though I think Slenderman would have a fair amount of leniency, given the fact that's he's seen it all. So save for a few people or behaviors, his door is open

Even Hoodie and Masky don't live with him, since they still have their own... autonomy..? To an extent they're still Brian and Tim, living fairly normal lives until the big man needs them to do his dirty work

The closest that lives with him is Kate; who's in proxy mode all of the time. Downside, she's not fully loyal to Slenderman. Actually she's not fully loyal to anyone, and she rarely ever enters the mansion. Rather, she's running off doing her own thing in the woods. Just a feral person, really. That's not to say she isn't dangerous or unintelligent, though. She may be aggressive and reclusive but she knows how to lure in people and set up traps

That's about it on Kate; I'm still building up what I want her character and role in the au to be, and honestly? I forgot who she was for a hot minute <\3

Ben doesn't have a physical body, most of the time. I'll elaborate more on that in a second.

Basically, he's more or less completely bound to electronics, and can only really interact with people through it. Good news is he can hop from device to device, though I'm still working out the limitations of that... usually hangs out in Jeff's old ass flip phone.

Yes it's specifically a flip phone, doesn't matter the brand. Reason is is because I think it'd be funny if Ben and Jeff got into an argument and Jeff just. Shuts it when Ben is mid sentence

Moving on, Ben and Jeffs whole thing is meant to work as an anti/opposite to the jane and laughing jill plot; two characters partnering up against one another for their own goals

Also I think Ben and Jeff have a cool friendship

Speaking of, friendships and shipping

Well relationships in general

Admittedly I don't have any romantic ships, so those are likely going to be few and far between in the au; but I do want to explore different dynamics and such if I ever make this into a proper story

Yeah!

I wanna put emphasis on Jeff/Ben and Jane/Jills friendships especially since so far they're the ones with the most plot relevance

I wanna explore Tim and Brian's relationship, and how it changes when Masky and Hoodie are in charge

I also wanna see what would happen if Kate joined the mix

Also I wanna explore Nina as a character, since my own take on her is also gonna be in this au, and how she interacts with others

Oh oh time line stuff!!

Takes place a few years in the future, so all the character's that aren't ghosts/undead/or are otherwise not a normal mortal, are older

So that includes characters like jeff, jane, nina, tim/masky, brian/hoodie, kate, ect ect ect

And to an extent, eyeless jack, though due to his curse he ages a little slower

So, they're all adults!

Jane, jeff, and nina are 23, 24, and 22 (respectively)

Tim and Brian are both in their early 30s, and Kate is roughly 27

Eyeless Jack physically is about 25, but mentally he's not much older

Main reason for the time skip is because I SUCK at writing kid/teen characters 😭😭 so unless someones a ghost kid or something, assume they're an adult

Uuuuuuh

I think thsts all i have for now !! So!!

Yeah!! Wahoo!!

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #crp #au #creepypasta au

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singinghands · 1 year

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((I feel like getting a little meta right now so forgive my rambling, this might get long.

Everyone following this blog is aware I am making the effort to be meticulous with tagging - each verse has a tag, each relationship in that verse has a tag, and there's often multiple relationship tags with the same character name because of it.

This, though, is about the broken halo tag. Which originally was based on this specific artwork. I've been thinking about it off and on and it's honestly grown on me more and more as a standalone thing rather than a reference.

This version of Seth is honestly a bit of a mess. He wants to be social, he wants to do the things he's passionate about, be with the people he cares about. But more often than not, he's not able to, and that inability escalates.

He's naturally more serious than his closer-to-human counterparts; he's seen and experienced so much over the centuries he's lived. From the reason he Fell (which he half-lies about, that he did so in order to more fully join the most likely fictional humans he had supposedly befriended on his again most likely fictional excursions to Earth, and I say most likely as I've never been "provided" names or even appearances for just one of them), to what living in a body actually entails, the little hurts and bruises that layer on each other in ways that nobody capable of simply discorporating and coming back fresh can understand, that he himself didn't until he experienced it, to the relentless course of human history, to the reactions of people who used to consider him family seeing his now-changed but on some level recognizable face.

The danger of existing in a world where there's a permanent game over if you aren't careful, cautious, wary of unfamiliar faces. Even if Seth does want to be more open (and there's at least two different occasions where he has the chance to be and even if his main reaction is exasperation out of habit, at least the stress of hiding is over), it's dangerous.

Even with other Fallen it can be dangerous, some are more likely to live up to the reputation humans have given them. Which he understands the impulse of, but it causes more trouble than its worth, especially when your passion and power lies in forging carefully distant but still friendly ties with them.

Back on topic, I hope - the reason it's grown on me, from a metaphor standpoint, is that for a (former) angel to Fall based on the world building that's been done, something in the way they see Heaven has to change. To break. Whether naturally or by force (in Seth's case) and for a variety of reasons. The thing that keeps them stagnant has to be removed, whatever way that ends up being.

In order to grow, their halo, the thing that connects them to the place and stage where they're unquestioning what's presented to them, has to be broken. That initial break is going to hurt, there's no getting around it, but it will eventually heal. In ways that leaves scars (every Fallen has horns after all, not always in the expected place, but they're present), but it will.))

#outofsigns #alternate: broken halo

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steelycunt · 2 years

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I think one of the most heartbreaking things to me about canon (and why I don’t think about it as often) is that it never gives r/s the time to become better versions of themselves. at least not permanently. they go through ups and downs but I truly believe that if they’d had more time, things would have been better or healthier (as healthy as those two can be). like, all these tragic things that happen to them kinda stun their character development sometimes instead of developing it further. like sirius getting killed off as soon as he is offered a new chance at a happy-ish life and undoing all the progress that could’ve taken place after he got out of azkaban. or like the war looming over them as soon as they really start growing up and figuring out how to work together to the best of their abilities, forcing them into more than a decade of constant unhappiness. and of course this develops their characters (as in adds to their story and alters their personalities) but does not necessarily help them grow as people, yk?. they grow up too fast and sacrifice huge pieces of themselves in the process. it’s probably why I gravitate towards putting them in scenarios where they are free to explore their relationship and who they want to become, as individuals and as partners, without that ticking clock looming over them. and of course when you remove the war and/or death aspects some parts of their personalities change that would not have had the chance to shine through in canon, but I also think that’s worth exploring (i think that more canon-compliant things are also very interesting and worth exploring btw. I’m referring to all the frustrating bs j*r did to their characters without any forethought. but it all makes me so desperately sad i often don’t want to do it myself) their story is just so depressing that I feel like they deserve a chance at growing without being smacked in the face right after they show an attempt at changing their more destructive behaviors. I just want sirius’ constant attempts to Be Good to have fruitful results :-(( and I want remus to loathe himself less and be happy and stable (ish). like. god I love them.

this is also why I love all of the things we discuss here and your consistently correct opinions. I feel like I’m constantly figuring out who I want r/s to be and hearing what others think really helps point out some things I hadn’t considered. like, I had never really given a lot of thought to the different ways in which remus reacts to sirius and peter, but now that someone pointed it out it is sooo important!!! like, thanks anon. also, I agree with everyone else: it’s easier to loathe himself for loving sirius than to stop doing it — sentence of all time. my favorite pastime is to go through the r and s tags on your blog and just read and analyze everything like I’m in an english class or perhaps a very small book club

hi bab! totally agree. i mean even if you're looking at their canon characters (i.e. disregarding r/s) neither of them are really given the chance to grow at all because jkr was never interested in fleshing out her side characters or really giving them meaningful resolutions--they were just props used to further harry's story and heighten its tragedy. that is the only reason i can think of for killing sirius when she did lol i cannot imagine any arc for him in which it would make sense for him to die at that point. it served no deeper purpose and honestly it was kind of lazy...same goes for remus honestly. it was apparently meant to provide an example of war creating orphans or something?? which idk. idk you had two other guys who already did that and one of them was like...the main guy. but whatever. and as you say canon events like the first war are interesting (personally way more interesting to me than the second war but maybe i just hate all the characters who are still alive by then) but also they provide a jumping off point to explore the characters after that which just. doesn't happen in the book. they deserve better i agree :-(

and thank you!! having these conversations with you lot is so fun and you all have the most interesting takes :-) we are a little club we're drinking tea and taking it in turns to speak and sitting on comfy chairs and everything xx MWAH!! <3

#anon #telegram #:-)

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redheadbigshoes · 2 years

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Hello, I need someones opinion on something, particularly maybe someone who is a lesbian.

I'm someone who is attracted to multiple genders and who is genderfluid (I'm afab and for the most part I usually feel as mostly male, only sometimes female). I usually use they / them bc those feel the most neutral but also she, her (the rarer for me to use) and he, him depending on how I feel.

So, despite being attracted to multiple genders I have a HUGE preference for people who are particularly feminine presenting (women, men, fellow nb) and while I have been attracted on occasion to individuals who are mainly masculine presenting (women, men, fellow nb) its definetely not common for me to be attracted to them, it's a rare occasion actually.

That being said I'm not usually attracted to butch sapphics, I still find butches aesthetically pleasing (bc they're beautiful and awesome) but I'm just not particularly attracted to them for the most part.

Someone told me that it's weird that I'm genderfluid (since my gender expression doesn't fit whatever stereotype she had in her head) and that I'm kind of messed up that I'm not rlly attracted to butches since at the end of the day I'm "a girl who loves girls" and even if I prefer fems I should still find butches hot (not a girl and she knew that! the misgendering was unnecessary).

The fact that I'm queer for queer (aka I need someone I'm with to be lgbtqia+ in some form, I could never be with a cishet man!) and particularly also nb for nb / t4t came up in the conversation and she went on about how me being nb4nb / t4t makes me lesbophobic for only wanting to be in a relationship with fellow nb and trans individuals.

Idk, honestly the whole conversation had me both incredibly drained bc she continuously misgendered me and also rlly confused in a way.

It's my understanding that nonbinary people are included in lesbianism. – pls correct me if I'm wrong 🙏 – so I don't see how that's lesbophobic.

My relationship with gender is complicated, I go through a lot of dysphoria tho I don't know if I'll ever have any permanent changes yet.

Bc my gender expression is different than what you would expect from an afab individual who is genderfluid that mainly feels as male most of the time, it's rlly easy for people to misgender me – I feel like a man more often than not but I feel as though I am a feminine presenting one so misgendering me as an afab person is rlly easy and unfortunately it happens ALL OF THE TIME.

I have found that I need to have an understanding and a sense of relatability with the person I'm with when it comes to the certain aspect of going through life as a nb person. The thought of ever realizing that whoever I'm with doesn't truly see me as I AM but rather actually sees me as 'woman light' breaks my heart in ways I can not express and that still hurt to this day (yes this has happened! The person I was with was with a cis gay woman and I'm still dealing with so much internalized transphobia that came back full force after that).

She was a lesbian yes, but lesbianism includes nb people (to my understanding) and I was always open with her about my gender and how I feel. Yet, somehow at the end of the day she still just saw me as a woman, she didn't even care about how much that hurt or maybe didn't understand, she even made a joke out of it and then also said that I HAD to be woman bc she was a lesbian and that it's a good thing that I don't have any permanent change and should not change my mind on that in the future bc it doesn't matter, she actually said "because even if you change anything you're still gonna be a woman! But go ahead and play make-believe". I cannot express how shocked and heartbroken I was, she had never said anything like that before when I spoke with her on these topics but when I think back to those times she also didn't say much and changed the subject quickly. I feel like an idiot for not realizing what she was like sooner.

I know she was just a bad experience and that there's sooo many people out there in the lgbtqia community who are not like that but I felt like a fool for not seeing her for who she really was and felt so unbelievably hurt! it broke me for a good while and brought up so much internalized transphobia that I thought I was done dealing with.

After that experience I just felt and still feel like I can only be in a relationship with someone who is queer in terms of gender as well, but THAT doesn't mean that I rule out lesbians (or any other sexual orientation) bc once again to my understanding lesbianism includes nb lesbians.

Idk, is it wrong for me to only want to be with fellow nb and trans people? To want that sense of safety and understanding?

Is my understanding of lesbianism correct and it rlly does include nb people?

Am I the in the wrong for not rlly being into butches and for being nb4nb/t4t?

(I'm sorry this is so long btw)

Hi! First you don’t need to be sorry, I don’t mind long asks.

I want to say I do relate to not really being attracted to butches (though it can be different for both of us because from what you said you’re still attracted to them, but that’s something more rare to happen, correct me if I’m wrong tho). There will be always shitty people. I’ve seen countless of times people saying not being attracted to butches is wrong, and I think that comes a lot from a place of misogyny, because a lot of those people seem to relate being masculine with being a man, or see masculine as something better (even if they do that unconsciously), so when they see someone not really attracted to butches/masculinity they find it absurd and try to invalidate you.

That person was not only being transphobic with you by misgendering you but she was the one being lesbophobic. Yes you’re right, lesbianism includes non-binary people (just like all sexualities). It’s not messed up not being attracted to butches, you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, and “being a girl who likes girls” doesn’t mean you necessarily have to be attracted to butches. That’s very lesbophobic because it doesn’t make anyone less lesbian not being attracted to butches.

I’m so sorry you deal a lot with transphobia and people misgendering you. You don’t deserve that. People shouldn’t assume you’re a certain gender identity just because you look more feminine.

You don’t deserve the person you were with. From what you said she was extremely toxic and selfish, why would you need to change your identity just because she’s a lesbian? That’s something so absurd to think.

Answering your questions: of course it isn’t wrong to only want to date other non-binary people/trans people, you’re doing that for safety, that’s not the same as completely excluding a whole sexuality besides straight from your dating pool (people a lot of times do that treating as if that sexuality they’re excluding is also not a minority). Yes, your understanding of lesbianism is correct, it includes nb people. You’re also not wrong for not being attracted to butches, we don’t choose who we’re attracted to, people forcing you to be attracted to someone you’re not are disgusting. And you’re also not wrong for being t4t (as I’ve previously said).

My dms are always open if you want to talk with someone, and if you’re still not comfortable coming off anon you can always send more asks if you want.

#stephanie answers #anon #lesbian #long post

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