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tumbleweed-palmer · 7 months

Note

Fic request! Reader x Palmer. Reader is relatively sexually inexperienced compared to Jimmy, who has been married and has a daughter. Reader's first and only experience was awful, and it's been years since that experience. Jimmy and Reader work together? xx

Overcoming Fear: Jimmy Palmer X Reader

smut obviously very filthy smut at that, tw: mentions of sexual assault, anxiety, loss of spouse.

There was no real guideline for dating as a widower. Jimmy had learned this lesson quickly. Sure, there were probably dozens upon dozens of books written about the subject of mourning and some of these books were focused on the demographic of widows and widowers, but there was no surefire guide to what dating could and should be after loss.

To be honest, Jimmy hadn’t imagined he’d find love again, not after the loss he’d endured. Loving another person in that way again had just felt so wrong. He’d told himself that his heart was incapable of such a thing. He’d felt that it would be betrayal of the vows he’d made to his late wife. He’d convinced himself that he’d only been lucky enough to have one great love in his life, and he should consider himself lucky to have loved at all. He told himself that he’d lost his great love and that was the end of the story for him.

He’d thrown all his focus on his work and his daughter at times neglecting his own wellbeing until he’d been convinced to start therapy.

Therapy had helped a little of course. It had at least given him a safe space to express his grief.

Still though the concept of giving love another shot had seemed so impossible and had filled him with such shame.

When Y/N had entered his life he’d felt an immense sense of guilt. She’d been hired on as Kasie’s much needed assistant in the lab and she’d managed to fit in well.

She was a great girl; sweet, intelligent, a diligent worker, funny, professional without being an absolute stick in the mud, and something that Jimmy had noticed rather quickly; beautiful.

Jimmy hadn’t been prepared for Y/N. The very first impression he’d had of her was that she was an attractive woman…the impression had left him filled with an overwhelming sense of shame. He’d mentally reprimanded himself, constantly questioning how he could have the audacity to find any woman other than his late wife attractive?

He couldn’t stop himself from making the observation. He found her stunning and he hated himself for it.

He’d made his best attempt to avoid Y/N, as rude as it had felt. He’d of course not been cruel, he’d just done all he could to remain distant. He’d kept her at an arms length ignoring the exchanged looks of worry from his coworkers. He’d brushed off concerns about his unusually standoffish behavior.

He’d been polite to Y/N but he’d never allowed her the same closeness he gave his other colleagues.

An offhand remark by Y/N during a case had changed that distance.

The case had been complicated; a dead petty officer who had possible ties to a terrorist group. The dead woman on Jimmy’s autopsy table seemed to be haunted by personal demons which may have contributed to her death. The biggest issue was the woman’s actions prior to her death. It had become obvious as the case had proceeded that the deceased woman laying out Jimmy’s table had secrets that might have a detrimental deadly impact on the living.

The case had called for a psychological autopsy of sorts. All hands on deck had been called in. Even Dr. Mallard had assisted via video conference.

Kasie and Y/N had assisted Jimmy and Dr. Mallard shuffling through the dead petty officer’s past and any clues she might have left behind that could help stop a possible terror attack on a navy shipyard.

The dead petty officer had experienced an immense amount of loss in her life including a mother who had died quite suddenly when she was a child.

Y/N had made one little comment upon this discovery. “I lost my mother when I was seven…right before my eighth birthday…it’s a rough age to lose your mom…especially for a girl…not that it excuses anything Officer Meyer did…I’m just saying, I can see how that might have impacted her childhood. Loss is hard enough on its own, being a kid makes it worse.”

The comment had caught Jimmy’s attention. His only thoughts had been of his own daughter. Victoria had only been seven when Breena had passed so suddenly. Jimmy couldn’t lie, Victoria had been struggling.

Victoria tried to put on a brave face for Jimmy and in turn Jimmy had done his best to put on a brave face for her. It felt as though they were both going through the motions though neither sure how to address the loss in their lives.

He’d tried to address it of course. He’d done everything his therapist had suggested to address the loss with his daughter. He knew deep down the biggest issue of course was that he’d put his focus on Victoria’s feelings not being open about his own with her.

It had resulted in an unspoken sadness between them that neither had the words to express.

Jimmy couldn’t help himself, once the case had wrapped up he’d gone to Kasie’s lab, found Y/N and promptly spilled his guts and his trauma onto her.

He’d apologized of course, but Y/N had been nothing but reassuring and kind.

She’d offered an ear to listen, an insight from her own experience of losing her mother, and a needed friendship and confidant.

Y/N and he had become surprisingly close. Jimmy hadn’t been expecting for Y/N to grow close to him but to his daughter as well.

Y/N’s niece had come to visit for a month during the summer. This niece was close to Victoria’s age and a playdate of sorts had been set up for the two girls.

Jimmy had thought it might be good for Victoria, having someone close to her age to spend time with. He’d thought it might be a way to experience some normalcy for Victoria.

Neither Jimmy nor Y/N had been expecting for Victoria to bond with Y/N. It had seemed as though the girl had taken to Jimmy’s coworker turned friend.

He guessed it made sense. Y/N was all the things a little girl might like; soft, gentle, and lovely. She wore pretty dresses and painted her nails with glitter polish. She wore sweet smelling perfume. She was feminine and cute and his daughter had been enamored.

After Y/N’s niece had gone home, the invitations for Y/N to spend time with both Jimmy and Victoria had continued. Victoria was often the one requesting that Y/N join Jimmy and her for pizza or a movie or a board game night.

Jimmy had told himself it was a positive thing; Victoria having another adult in her life to open up to.

Y/N and she shared a bond of sorts he’d told himself; both losing their mothers at the same age. He’d told himself that Y/N might understand Victoria in a way he sadly could not.

Jimmy had been appreciative of Y/N’s willingness to accept Victoria’s requests for time spent together. He’d realized it was a good thing for his daughter; having a female in her life she could look up to outside of his mom. She could use a good role model, he’d realized. There were just some things Jimmy knew Victoria might not feel entirely comfortable going to Jimmy for even outside of her feelings regarding her late mother. Jimmy knew Eunice Palmer wasn’t getting any younger and Jimmy figured that his daughter appreciated having a woman much younger and more with the times to turn to as she grew older and encountered difficulties in peer relationships and fitting in with her peers.

Y/N didn’t seem to mind time spent with the Palmers. She seemed just as appreciative as Jimmy was for the closeness.

She’d admitted it was nice to do something social given her life seemed to revolve around her work and she had a tendency to be a homebody as it was.

With all this time spent together Jimmy’s and Y/N’s bond had grown far beyond just being a confidant for Jimmy and a positive role model for his daughter.

He’d felt a certain sense of attachment to her. She’d become someone he wanted to go to when he had good news. She’d become someone he missed when she wasn’t around.

He’d told himself that she was just a good friend. She was someone who he felt he could turn to. She was someone he trusted. They were just dear friends and nothing more.

Jimmy could distinctly remember the sentence that had changed everything. “I have to do a rain check on game night this Saturday. I have a date.”

The words from Y/N’s lips had felt like a punch to the gut.

He’d tried to tell himself even as he broke the bad news to Victoria that he was just worried that with a possible boyfriend Y/N might begin to dramatically change the dynamic she’d built with Jimmy and Victoria.

After all, he couldn’t possibly expect Y/N to spend so much time with Victoria and he if she had a romantic relationship to focus on. Would a boyfriend be willing to go along with Y/N’s place in the Palmer’s life?

He’d told himself that the gross feeling in his gut and the twist in his heart was just over worries that Victoria might take Y/N having her attention focused elsewhere badly. He’d told himself it was his own fault, letting Victoria cling to Y/N knowing that there was a chance that Y/N would move along with her own life and develop bonds outside of Victoria and Jimmy. He should have realized it wasn’t fair to expect Y/N’s life to revolve around his family.

He had told himself he’d been selfish; clinging to Y/N so hard. He’d told himself he’d turned her into an emotional support security blanket of sorts. He’d leaned too hard on her without considering she might not always be there.

When Jimmy had broken the bad news to Victoria over a family dinner with his mother, he’d not expected Eunice Palmer to make him wake up and see the true reality of it all.

He could still remember that conversation as he stood at his mother’s side after dinner doing dishes after Victoria had gone upstairs to finish her homework.

The words his mother had said had taken him by shock “You know you’re allowed to love her, honey.”

He’d played dumb of course. “What do you mean?”

Eunice Palmer had given him an all too knowing look as she’d explained herself. “Y/N.”

He’d shifted in place awkwardly, suddenly finding the pattern along the rim of the serving dish he was holding something deserving of his focus. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like that mom. Y/N is just a friend. She’s just gotten close with Victoria and me…she’s really been there for us both. I’m just worried about Victoria. She’s become attached to Y/N and I let it happen. I didn’t consider that it can’t always be like this. Y/N has been way too kind. I know she understands Victoria because she’s been in Victoria’s shoes…losing a mom and all. I know it’s not fair to expect Y/N to not have a life outside of my family. Y/N dating some guy is probably going to change things and I should accept that and find a way to explain it to Victoria. I can’t imagine the guy is going to be fine with his girlfriend spending so much time with her coworker and his kid. I’m just worried how Victoria is going to take the change. I know Y/N can’t always be there for Victoria and me for the rest of her life. She needs her own life outside of us. I know this is a good change, it’s just going to be an adjustment for Victoria.”

“That’s not the entire story of what’s bothering you though. I’m not blind James.” Eunice replied, making Jimmy’s stomach churn.

She spoke again before Jimmy had a chance to deny it. “Victoria isn’t the only one who’s become attached.”

“I have leaned on Y/N a lot. I’ve probably clung too hard to be honest. She’s way too kind to tell me I’ve been so needy…I am perfectly fine with her finding someone. She’s probably missed out on a lot of dates with great guys spending all her free time with my family. It’s..it’s for the best. She deserves it. She can’t spend her entire life being my emotional support. It’s not healthy for either one of us. She’s been a good friend, and she should find love.” Jimmy had insisted he turning the serving dish in his hands pretending he was inspecting it to make sure it was completely clean.

His mother was fast to speak up, that knowing tone still evident in her voice. “There’s more than friendship there James, even a close friendship. I know you deny it, but I know better. I know you.”

Jimmy cleared his throat averting his eyes from his mother’s gaze, the words stubborn on his lips. “It’s not like that at all. I don’t…I don’t love her, not like that. I love her as a friend, nothing more. I can’t be in love with her.”

Eunice dried her soapy hands placing them on her son’s upper arms giving him a reassuring squeeze. “That isn’t true. You can be in love with her. It’s not wrong and you shouldn’t let yourself feel guilty for it.”

“I do though. I feel so conflicted. I catch myself feeling so happy when she’s around. Then I find myself missing and longing for her when she’s not here. She’s always on my mind or at least on the back of my mind. Anytime something positive happens I want to tell her first. When I’ve had an awful day I want to hear her voice. I’m even happy to sit in complete silence with her just because it’s her. Then I feel guilty because there’s only one woman I should long for and she’s no longer here. I made vows and I feel like I’m breaking them. I know Breena and I said until death do us part. I don’t wear my ring anymore…I know…I know those vows ended at death ... ..rationally I know I’m a human being and I’m capable of love even after loss, but I feel so conflicted about feeling love for someone else when I thought I’d found the love of my life. It feels like I’m doing something wrong.” Jimmy admitted the words tumbling out of him, forcing his gaze to meet his mother’s.

Eunice held him against her, she fast to respond. “That’s the beautiful thing about hearts honey, they are capable of endless love. Loving Y/N doesn’t mean you loved Breena any less. Love isn’t a competition. Love isn’t that selfish that it can only go to one person and end forever when that person is no longer here. I’d like to believe that we can have more than one great love in our lives. I don’t think that any higher power is cruel enough to make our hearts so they can only love one person and one person only. Love is endless. It doesn’t go away when someone is gone and it doesn’t fail to exist when someone enters your life”.

She pulled back from Jimmy speaking again repeating the statement that had begun this entire conversation. “You are allowed to love Y/N. The heart wants what it wants…and I see the way she looks at you when she thinks you aren’t looking. I think she’s just as afraid as you are. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s just as torn up about how she feels as you are about how you feel.”

She spoke again giving his arms a reassuring squeeze. “You need to ask yourself a serious question, sweetheart. You have to make a big choice. Do you admit how you feel and take a chance even if it’s scary and intimidating or do you let Y/N go and accept that things are going to change? The choice is yours, but whatever you do don’t let yourself make a choice out of shame or fear. You have to ask your heart what it wants and let it have it.”

The words had left Jimmy’s lips as he made his choice, his heart finally telling his shame to shove it. “I…can you watch Victoria. I have to go…I need to go. I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”

It was a huge cliche really. It had been pouring rain that night as he’d made his way to Y/N’s apartment and he’d managed to become a soaked mess by the time he’d made it to her front door.

The words had left him and everything had changed. “Please don’t go on that date. I am begging you to cancel it. Please, I should be the only one taking you on any dates. I love you. It scares the hell out of me…loving someone again, but I’d rather be afraid than deny how I feel.”

His confession of love hadn’t been smooth at all, but much to his shock and relief Y/N had stared up at him with tears in her eyes as she’d spoken “I love you too.”

His lips had met hers for the first time with that confession and they’d not looked back.

They’d had a serious talk that night after the kiss of course and there had been several serious talks after that night.

Figuring out the change in their relationship had been anxiety inducing at best. They’d been afraid Victoria might not take the change of Y/N being Daddy’s friend to Daddy’s girlfriend well, but much to their relief she’d been agreeable to the change.

Jimmy knew Y/N had played a big part in making Victoria comfortable with the change. She’d worked hard to reassure the girl that her place in their lives wasn’t an attempt to replace Victoria’s mother. She’d reassured Victoria that just because Breena was gone that didn’t mean the love she’d felt for Victoria went away. Jimmy had reassured his daughter that his loving Y/N didn’t devalue or erase the love he’d felt for Breena. Moving forward didn’t mean you erased the past.

Y/N had encouraged Jimmy to be open with Victoria about her mother. She’d encouraged him to have those talks and reminded him it was okay for Victoria to see him cry. When he’d been ready to begin packing away Breena’s things for Victoria, Y/N had helped him find ways to store the items and to involve Victoria in the process.

Y/N had been a supportive reassuring partner as Jimmy navigated moving forward.

She’d proven to be just as supportive to Victoria. They’d become even closer to the point that Victoria had spent some of her allowance buying one of those BFF heart necklaces for Y/N and she.

Y/N was the one who was happy to tackle whatever complicated hair tutorial Victoria had found on Youtube. She was the one who took Victoria to get manicures and eat brunch. They often had girl days.

Seeing Y/N with his daughter had just made Jimmy love her all the more.

It hadn’t been easy navigating love as a widower, but Jimmy had found that Y/N was patient and soothing. She wasn’t afraid to push him when he needed to move past his comfort zone or to hold his hand when he needed to be grounded and brought back down to a sense of comfort. He’d realized his mother was right; love was not selfish at all.

Love still felt terrifying of course, as beautiful and warm as it was. He still felt anxious about it all. It was still intimidating at times.

Tonight felt particularly intimidating.

When Kasie had won a trip to Vegas Jimmy and Y/N had no qualms about accepting the invitation to come along, after they’d found a reliable babysitter for Victoria of course.

Of course the trip was given to Kasie with the promise that she’d spend plenty of time in the casino. Kasie as it turns out was a high roller in Vegas and the casino hotel they were staying at wanted her to gamble.

The hotel room Jimmy and Y/N had wound up with was far less lavish than Kasie’s but Kasie’s had been given to her with the promise of casino time and Jimmy’s and Y/N’s room had come out of their own budget.

Jimmy and Y/N weren’t gamblers. So, that meant they’d been left to their own devices while Kasie spent time at the blackjack table.

So far they’d done a lot of sightseeing and eating. They’d even drank a little and played a couple of slot machines. Jimmy and Y/N had just been enjoying some one on one time together free of distractions that were involved in their everyday lives.

They’d been enjoying a grown-up vacation.

There was a certain sense of anxiety hanging in the air though over what they’d decided was going to happen on this grown-up vacation.

Jimmy knew they’d been working their way up to this but that didn’t make it any less intimidating.

As they rode the elevator up to their hotel room he was almost certain his heart was beating so loud that it had become audible.

When his beautiful sweet girlfriend had confessed her limited sexual experience to Jimmy he’d been dumbfounded.

That sense of shock had morphed into anger when she’d described her one and only sexual experience and exactly why it had turned her off of going that far with any guy ever again.

She’d described her first and only experience as being awful. She described an experience that was far too rough with a partner that hadn’t taken her pleasure nor her comfort into consideration at all. Her last sexual partner had been far too aggressive and more concerned with getting himself off than making it feel good for her. He had cared little for her lack of experience or her boundaries. She’d described the entire experience as being overwhelming in the worst way possible and anxiety inducing. She’d described a man who had seemed to manhandle and mistreat her more than make love to her. She’d described unbearable pain during the experience and a sense of feeling violated and empty when it was all said and done.

Jimmy had felt his stomach turn at her descriptions of not being wet enough, bleeding, and her feeling overstimulated and unloved. He’d felt his heart twist when she’d admitted that though it had been years, the concept of sex still scared her.

Jimmy Palmer wasn’t a violent man, but hearing all those details had left him feeling certain that if he was ever left alone in a room with his girlfriend’s former sexual partner then Jimmy would be sure the other man left in a body bag.

Jimmy had done everything in his power to reassure her that he was fine waiting as long as she needed him to before taking their relationship in that direction. He had worked hard to promise her that he was a grown man who was capable of moving at her pace. He had promised her that he was mature enough not to feel disappointed or as though he was missing out on anything if sex was something they waited for. He had done his best to show her other ways they could feel intimate with one another without going with more traditional means in the bedroom.

So, they’d made out a lot, more than a lot. They’d moved at her pace and Jimmy had eagerly taken what she was willing to give him. They’d spent a lot of time kissing, grinding against one another, and giving lingering touches over one another’s clothing. They’d never proceeded further than that though.

When they had decided to take this adult-only vacation Y/N had said the words that had made Jimmy’s heart feel as though it was stopping and racing all at once. “When we’re in Vegas, I was thinking we could go further than we’ve been going…as in all the way. I think I’m ready…I want to at least try.”

Tonight was the night they’d agreed to try and Jimmy was filled with a cocktail of emotions and anxieties.

He prayed his hands weren’t sweating as held her hand in his, allowing her to lead them out of the elevator and to their hotel room.

He tried to focus on his breathing as he fished the key card out of his pocket, his hand shaking as he moved to open the door.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek, their faces both flushed pink from more than the dry heat outside. “I’m going to go get ready. I won’t be too long.”

He nodded his head, certain that his heart was racing so quickly it might zoom out of his chest and take off across the room. He managed to speak hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. “I’ll get things ready out here. Take your time.”

Jimmy studied the room as Y/N disappeared behind the closed bathroom door. He debated taking the extra step and ordering champagne through room service but he knew they’d had some overwhelmingly sweet fruity cold cocktails hours ago and he knew they were both lightweights. The cocktails had been enough to ease some of the anxiety but Jimmy didn’t want to risk either of them becoming impaired.

He rubbed the back of his neck, his stomach in knots as he moved around the room, straightening up some of the clutter that had accumulated over the past two days they’d spent on this vacation thus far.

He shuffled through the plastic shopping bag they’d acquired earlier, his cheeks flushing as much as they had when the purchase had been made as he fished out the tube of lubricant they’d bought just in case.

He took a deep breath second guessing the choice to not buy condoms. She was on the pill and they’d agreed they were comfortable moving forward with that being their only form of birth control.

The idea of moving forward with that little protection filled Jimmy with an equal sense of excitement and anxiety.

The entire concept of what was due to happen tonight actually filled Jimmy with a mix of lust, excitement, anxiety, and fear.

This was a huge step not only for Y/N but for him as well.

She was trusting him to move past her fear and experience this with him.

It was a huge responsibility. Jimmy could admit he had his own fears about tonight.

This was the first time he’d be intimate with someone new in over a decade. He knew he wasn’t inexperienced but he felt clumsy and daft.

He feared disappointing or underwhelming Y/N. He was terrified of triggering some bad memory or just flat out being a lackluster defective lover. What if he made this experience awful for an entirely different reason than her only past experience?

Being with a new partner was intimidating enough, then add on a bad past experience on her part and his experience being tied to one partner for over a decade and it felt incredibly terrifying and nerve wracking.

Jimmy wasn’t even sure he’d been this anxious his very first time.

He took another deep breath, shakily kicking his shoes and socks off a voice in the back of his head reminding him that there was nothing dorkier and less seductive and being nude except for a pair of socks.

He chose not to strip down completely, deciding to just ditch the cargo shorts he’d bought especially for the desert heat.

He found himself left in boxers and his t-shirt he making his way over to the bed.

He debated getting under the covers but decided to hold off on it, choosing insead to pull back the bedsheets making sure they had easier access.

He made sure the bottle of lube was accessible on the bedside table he dimming the lights by the bed making the room less bright and hopefully making the atmosphere in the room less intimidating.

He sat on the edge of the bed trying to calm his racing heart as he mentally prepared himself for this.

He was silently debating the best way to perhaps prolong his stamina, a voice in the back of his head telling him that it had been so long since he’d done this that he might orgasm far too fast, when the bathroom door opened.

He quickly forgot his game plan to think about his least favorite sport, baseball if he felt himself getting too close to cumming far too soon, when she exited the bathroom.

She felt her cheeks flush debating if the white silky chemise was a little too on the nose. Though she knew she was no virgin the choice in such a pure sweet looking white silk nightgown seemed somewhat cliche in hindsight.

The chemise was low cut enough that it gave a healthy view of cleavage and it was short enough that it made her legs look incredible in her opinion. It fit against the curves of her body nicely and the fabric felt heavenly against her skin. The lingerie had been well worth the price.

Worries that she was a walking cliche disappeared when she caught sight of her boyfriend’s gaze, the man looking up at her like she was by far the most stunning sight he’d ever seen.

He stood up from the bed, his knees feeling wobbly, his heart racing all the quicker.

He made his way towards her his hands held out to her, almost sure he’d trip over his own feet and break both his arms in the process.

He took her hands in his once again praying that he wasn’t sweaty or clammy. He spoke, unable to hide the lust dripping from his voice. “You look perfect.”

She felt the words leave her first instinct to give him one response. “There’s no such thing as perfect.”

“I’m looking at it.” He insisted the words coming to him without any sense of hesitation.

She released one of his hands reaching up to caress the side of his cheek, Jimmy unable to stop himself from leaning into her touch. It was something he’d discovered throughout their relationship; he was touch-starved.

He was just relieved she was so willing to offer soft touches and gentle reassurances.

He leaned down his lips meeting hers, the kiss soft and uncertain almost like the first kiss they’d ever shared.

It didn’t take it long for the kiss to grow in confidence. He released her other hand, his hands finding a place at her sides, a soft moan leaving him at the silken feel of the fabric against her skin.

Her hand moved from his cheek placing at the back of his head, messing his hair as they continued to kiss. Her other hand placed at his side she gripped down onto his t-shirt trying to calm any anxiety swirling in her gut.

She pulled from the kiss the anxiety easily becoming a lingering pest in the back of her brain. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, I’d do anything for you.” He was fast to respond, he was certain of the promise. He would give her anything. He was sure of it. She could ask him to go bungee jumping off the roof of their hotel right now and he was certain he’d agree to do it.

She felt her cheeks flush hoping she didn’t sound so childish for what she was about to request. “During it, can you talk to me? Just keep talking to keep me in the moment? I just…I want to know it’s you…I mean.”

She paused her stomach knotting up. “I know I’ve told you I’ve tried to do this before once after that first time…I tried with one other guy after my first experience but I couldn’t go through with it. I just thought it was easier to swear it off after that. The only other time I tried it with another guy…when I got brave enough to try I…it was easy for me to get in my head and panic and it stopped everything from proceeding. I don’t want to panic. I want to be reminded that I’m doing this with you…I guess I’m just thinking you always know what to say to make me feel safe. I want to feel safe. This should be about expressing love and I know it shouldn’t be scary. I feel so dumb for feeling scared…I’m a grown woman but I just get so in my head. I know I’ve made you wait so long and now I’m making it complicated. I know that it may sound like a stupid request but...”

He felt his heart ache and twist at the request he quick to reassure her not allowing her to devalue her own needs or apologize for taking this at her pace. “I’ll keep you in the moment. I promise, I will do whatever you need. It’s not dumb, nothing you need from me is dumb or something to be sorry for.”

She felt her eyes well up with tears. She spoke feeling pathetic. “Sorry for forcing you to give a pep talk…I’ve probably wrecked the mood.”

“You haven’t. How many times have you given me a pep talk? I recall you talking me down that first time we made out in my bed and I got weird. I’m pretty sure I’ve had to have you talk me through my fair share of misplaced shame and all my other baggage.” He reminded her his lips pressing to her forehead.

He embraced her, giving her a moment to relax, rocking her in place trying to wordlessly make it clear that they were moving at her pace. He didn’t care if it took all night and it was all stop and go. He wanted to make this what she deserved.

Her hand placed back at his cheek gazing down at her she becoming lost in his gaze for a while. She was almost convinced no one had prettier eyes than Jimmy Palmer. She was convinced that no one had kinder eyes either.

His kindness had played a factor into her falling for him.

She felt like the luckiest girl in the world. She had a kind, intelligent, sweet, funny, thoughtful boyfriend. He was an incredible father and a gentle partner.

Falling in love with him had given her a sense of mixed up emotions. Adoration mixed with the guilt of knowing he was only hers because he’d lost such a big part of his heart.

Falling in love with a widower wasn’t without its misplaced guilt. Jimmy had mentioned his own shame but she could admit to hers as well.

She could remember the biggest thing that had broken that shame and made it fade. It had been a talk Jimmy had with Victoria about his relationship with Y/N as he’d tucked her into bed one night. It had been pretty soon after their relationship had become romantic. Y/N had only heard part of the conversation, but the words had still stuck out to her.

“Loving Y/N doesn’t mean you and I didn’t love your mom. Loving Y/N doesn’t mean we love anyone else any less. I’ll always love your mom and I know you’ll always love her too. I loved your mom so much. Your mom is going to always love us even if she’s not here anymore. Love is pretty special because it’s not limited to just going to one person. Love is something that should be shared. You can’t hold on to love too tightly and you can’t refuse to give it to someone. Our hearts are big and they are filled with so much love. You shouldn’t hide any love you feel in your heart. You should always let people know you love them even if it feels scary. Life is so short. Remember how we talked about how everyone dies? Dying isn’t the important part honey. It happens everyday. Love is way more important than death. Everyone may die but love doesn’t die.”

If she’d had any doubts about loving Jimmy Palmer she was almost certain they would have died that night as she’d overheard that conversation.

He was right, love was to be shared even if it was scary.

She pulled back from his embrace just enough to speak the request soft on her lips. “Can we lie down?”

He nodded his head wordlessly, taking her hand in his, leading her to the bed he thankful they’d gone with a larger hotel bed even if it had brought the price of the room up.

They laid down side by side Jimmy taking the opportunity to ditch his glasses on the nightstand before he turned his attention back to her.

His lips met hers, his hand reaching out to caress her side.

He knew that this was not an unfamiliar position lying side by side their lips locked.

She placed a hand at his cheek feeling a little bolder allowing one of her legs to slide over his scooting closer to him.

He moaned at the sudden movement, the chemise riding up exposing more of her leg dangerously close to revealing the lace of her panties.

She pulled her lips from his feeling daring enough to reach for the hem of his t-shirt pulling it up. He took the hint pulling it up and over his head tossing it across the room.

He felt his pride spike at her reaction to his bare torso, her moan soft as she took him in. He knew that he took good care of his core and his abs were always something he could at least feel confident about even if he wasn’t always the most psyched about the rest of his appearance.

She placed a hand at his side caressing his warm skin, his lips pressing back to hers he reaching out to caress her over the chemise.

She reached down, finding a little more confidence placing her hand over his maneuvering it to slide under her nightgown, his large hand pressing to her bare skin.

She spoke her voice a soft plea. “Talk to me please.”

“You’re so soft, the softest.” He blurted out the blood flow moving far enough from his brain to fill other areas of his body that he couldn’t find it in him to worry if he sounded dorky or foolish.

He lips pressed to hers between words. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” She managed to reply her lips pressing against his he continuing to caress her shyly exploring without pushing too far.

She placed a hand at his back caressing his skin, she moving her lips down his neck nipping at his skin, certain she’d leave a mark behind. She moaned at the thought.

Jimmy groaned at the stimulation, he continued to talk, saying anything that came to his brain. “Your lips feel so nice. I could kiss you forever.”

He continued to caress her, her lips and tongue sliding along his pulse point. He whined the lower region of his body, easily reacting.

She pulled from his neck her lips slightly swollen, the slight hint of lipstick she’d worn earlier smudged.

She placed a hand at his cheek, her eyes locking with his before she spoke. “Tell me you love me.”

He moaned the words falling from his lips without any second thought. “I love you. You have no idea just how much I love you.”

She placed a hand at the hem of her chemise pulling it up, she sitting up enough to pull it up and over her head.

She felt her cheeks flush this being the most exposed she’d been in front of any man in a long while.

Though a voice in the back of Jimmy’s head screeched to be a gentleman and to show some self control his eyes shifted down to her bare breasts an audible moan leaving him.

He spoke more to himself than to her. “Fuck.”

She let out a soft moan, the response surprising. Jimmy Palmer was not the type of guy that threw around curse words by nature. She wasn’t sure if it just came from being a parent, or if he was just naturally that polite.

She relaxed back against the bed, their lips meeting again. Jimmy hesitantly reached out to touch her side, remembering to speak. “You’re so perfect. I love you so much.”

She dared to scoot closer to him, her bare torso pressing to his the sensation making audible gasps and moans leave them both.

She wrapped an arm around him she tracing his skin. Jimmy spoke against the kisses daring to ask. “Can I touch them?”

It took her lust hazy brain a second to clear and realize what he was suggesting but the answer came without doubts. “Yes, please.”

He groaned a large hand pressing over her breast. He caressed her skin before gently massaging her breast. His fingertips slid across her nipple teasing it, the action working a moan from her.

He spoke following through on what he’d promised. “They’re so perfect, so fucking soft and full. Looks so perfect in my hand. Fuck, I’ve touched them over your clothes before, but this is so much better.”

He paused, managing to bring humor into the moment even if his brain was preoccupied with lust. “Just warning you, you’ve probably created a monster. I’m going to touch these any chance you allow it.”

She managed to laugh at the comment the response leaving her. “I’ll allow it as long as we aren’t in public.”

He spoke again knowing he sounded desperate but he refused to take any step without her consent. “Can I kiss them, please, baby?”

“Please.” The reply left her she feeling breathless, her own lust beginning to flood over any other coherent thought.

He locked his lips over her breast suckling her nipple desperately. He moaned against her skin the vibration making her whimper. He spoke against her damp skin his lips and tongue teasing her nipples. “I love you. Thank you.”

She moaned surprised by the reaction her body had to him thanking her. She couldn’t deny that her clit throbbed at the statement as innocent as it seemed.

She placed a hand at the back of his head messing his hair as he continued to focus on her breasts kissing, sucking, and nipping at the delicate skin giving her the distinct feeling that at this rate she was going to have at least one serious hickey pressed to at least one breast.

He spoke between the stimulation his voice muffled more praises and thank yous spilling from him each word making her center clinch. She was certain her panties must be drenched at this point.

She was astounded given that if someone had asked her a few years ago she’d exclaim that she couldn’t comprehend going this far with anyone, but here she was wet and desperate with a man she was crazy about attached to her breast praises spilling from him.

Jimmy moaned against her skin knowing he was so hard he was almost sure he could break glass.

The fear that he might possibly be a disappointing lover seemed to be slipping from his brain the only thing he could focus on was the woman beside him and the moans leaving her. He knew he was babbling against her skin the words needy and full of reverence; beautiful, soft, perfect, sexy, incredible.

She reluctantly scooted from his ministrations, feeling her cheeks flush from more than arousal as she spoke. “Can you take your boxers off?”

He moaned almost sure he’d never moved faster in his life. His movements were so clumsy that he was shocked he didn’t accidentally kick her or fall off the bed.

He managed to somehow lose his boxers kicking them somewhere across the room.

He felt a spark of insecurity begin to blossom in his brain. Maybe he should have manscaped a little better? Was he way too hairy? Would this spook her given that he was fully nude now even if it was at her request?

She dared to gaze down at him her cheeks growing darker any insecurity that had been blossoming in his brain withering up and dying at her words. “Fuck, it’s thicker than I thought.”

He gazed down at his erect cock, he almost certain the sight must look a little ridiculous they both gazing down at his privates examining his dick.

He felt his cheeks flush at the statement the words leaving him. “I’m pretty sure I’m mostly average…I mean I’m pretty sure I’ve read that the average length is around five and a half inches though most guys will argue that they’re at least six.”

“You’ve looked into it? I mean you’ve researched it?” She dared to ask, the amusement somewhat evident in her voice.

Jimmy felt his cheeks flush further. “I have a deep understanding of anatomy due to the nature of my profession…and I had a lot of access to the internet and a lot of freetime in my early twenties.”

She spoke, still unable to tear her eyes away from his cock. “Can I touch it?”

He moaned his cock twitching at the request as though it was answering for him. He nodded his head trying to balance out being needy and reassuring all at once. “Only if you want to. I…I don’t want you to feel you know…like I expect it. I want to move at your pace.”

She tore her eyes from his cock as she pressed a kiss to his lips. She couldn’t hide the adoration from her voice as she spoke. “I want to touch it, trust me. I want this.”

She pulled her lips from his staring back down at his cock. She reached forward gently wrapping a hand around him, a soft gasp leaving her.

He moaned his gaze following hers. He whined as she placed a thumb at his tip rubbing the slit gathering the precum that had begun to bead up. She used it to swipe across the tip of his cock his balls throbbing at the action.

He spoke certain he was supposed to keep up with his promise to talk to her during this entire experience. “Fuck, oh babe. Love you, fuck.”

He groaned knowing it wasn’t the most eloquent thing he could say but it was hard no pun intended when she was currently sliding her thumb along his sensitive tip precum desperately seeping from him.

She spoke her voice soft. “I should probably use some lube before I go any further? Can’t imagine it’ll be any fun dry?”

He desperately reached out, finding the tube of lube he’d left on the nightstand fumbling through opening it as he handed it to her.

She took the lube and her cheeks flushed. She was unsure where she’d found the confidence to be this dominant after all she’d spent so long terrified of all things related to sex. She guessed it was just that it was Jimmy. She trusted him immensely. Exploring this with him and giving sex a chance seemed less intimidating because it was him.

The further they went tonight the less frightened she felt.

She warmed a healthy amount of lube in her hand before wrapping her hand around him. Jimmy moaned at the sensation, his hips moving a little eager to chase the stimulation.

He spoke as she began to stroke him, unable to take her eyes off him, almost fascinated with the concept that she was feeling this confident and making him feel this good. “I love you. Oh my God, babe. That’s so…that’s perfect, just like that.”

He kept his eyes locked on what she was doing to him, almost sure that this was the most erotic thing he’d seen in his life. He couldn’t help but to wish he could save the sight in his brain forever. Her delicate hand wrapped around his slick cock, her nails painted a bright shade of blue, he leaking against her skin making a mess.

He gripped down onto the bed sheets, his gaze unable to leave her treatment of him. He spoke his voice needy. “I love this so much. Fuck that’s so perfect, my love.”

He whimpered his balls aching it taking everything in him to say the words he hating that he had to stop this so soon. “I don’t want to cum like this, not right now. Fuck it’s so tempting. You can make me cum like this later.”

She pulled her hand from him, the giggle that left her making him throb all the more. “I’m going to so do this again before we leave Vegas.”

He moaned as her lips pressed to his. He managed to speak against the kiss. “I feel pathetic for being so close that quick. It’s been so long.”

He felt his cheeks flush all the darker the confession spilling from him. “I mean I’ve jacked off probably a little too much especially lately, but you know someone else touching me is way more intense.”

He resisted the urge to bury his face against the pillow and never emerge knowing he had a case of babbling and shoving his foot in his mouth as it was. Apparently if his dick got any stimulation he became an even bigger social disaster.

She spoke holding her hand up thankfully not calling him out on his confession. “Got a tissue?”

He moved quickly, finding them on the nightstand she cleaning herself.

His lips met hers, the kleenex going somewhere on the floor.

He moaned his cock pressing to the lace of her panties he resisting the urge to grind against her.

She caressed his body, not shy about grasping onto his backside giving it a squeeze, her voice teasing against his lips. “Not going to lie, pretty sure I spent way too much time staring at your butt before we started dating…and probably a lot of time after.”

He moaned against her lips, his voice just as teasing. “Stared at yours too, it’s okay.”

She spoke, deciding to take the next step feeling more and more confident the longer they went. “Jimmy, take my panties off please.”

He groaned, his hands moving sure his movements were clumsy. He spoke as he began to slide them down her hips. “I’ve never heard a prettier request.”

He stared down at her, a moan spilling from him as they worked her panties down her legs they disappearing somewhere towards the foot of the bed.

He kept his hand at her hip unable to work up the nerve to move it as he gazed down at her center.

She spoke uncertain of how to read his gaze. “I thought about doing a full brazilian wax, but there’s something about that just feels I don’t know…too much. So, I just decided to take care of the bikini line and clean up as usual.”

He nodded his head a moan leaving him. “Good choice. To be fair though…pretty sure I’d like it no matter what.”

She couldn't help but to giggle though she had a feeling he was being sincere.

He stared down at her overwhelmed with thoughts of what he wanted. He wanted to bury his face in her pussy. He wanted to bury his cock in it. He wanted to bury his fingers in her. He wanted to cum on her and in her.

He shoved the thoughts back a voice in the back of his head fast to speak up Let her set the pace dumbass.

She spoke a hint of shyness sneaking in now that she was completely bare in front of him. “Can you touch me…and keep talking please.”

He nodded his head eagerly reaching forward, his fingers sliding along her slit. He spoke the moan leaving him. “You’re soft here too. Fuck, my love, you’re wet too. You’re soaked.”

He spoke needing to get the green light from her. “Can I put my fingers in? I want to make you feel good.”

“Please.” The words barely left her before he slid one finger through her slickness allowing another to join along beside it.

He spoke his voice thick with lust. “Oh my god, fuck, you are so wet. You’re tight too and hot.”

She whined as he stroked his fingers experimentally sliding them in and out of her. The sensation wasn’t unfamiliar from when she occasionally touched herself but his fingers were far larger and they went a lot deeper than her own.

She spread her legs encouraging him the action working a praise from him. “So perfect, such a perfect girl, letting me make her feel good.”

He found her clit rubbing soft circles against it causing her to grip down on the bedsheets a moan leaving her.

Jimmy spoke daring to ask. “Can I taste you? I want to go eat you out, only if you’re okay with it. I won’t be upset if you say no.”

She nodded her head no doubts appearing in her mind. “Do it, please Jimmy.”

He moved down her body, his voice reassuring. “I obviously won’t be able to talk to you down here, but if you need me to stop just say the word. I won’t be upset.”

She nodded her head relaxing a whimper leaving her as he removed his fingers from her center he unable to stop himself from cleaning her taste from them. He spoke a moan leaving him. “Love how you taste. I said earlier I wasn’t going to be able to stop touching your breasts, but now I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to keep my mouth off your pussy either.”

She felt her center clinch there something so satisfying about hearing him say something so filthy. Maybe it was just that she knew it was a side of him only she was getting to see.

He spoke his breath warm against her center. “You ready, babe?”

She nodded her head the answer leaving her with no hesitation. “Yes.”

He lapped at her center slowly, delicately taking his time. He encouraged her to place her legs over his shoulders, wanting to be as close to her pussy as possible. He moaned against her those fears he had about being a disappointment in bed fading even further away.

He wasn’t lying. He had a feeling he’d want to spend even more time down here if she’d allow it.

He licked her from her perineum up to her throbbing clit unable to hold back any sounds of pleasure from his own lips. The moans and whines of his name that left her encouraged him to keep it up.

He gazed up at her from between her thighs moaning as he watched her reaction, her head thrown back one of her hands massaging her breast.

He reached up allowing his hand to take its place eagerly massaging her breast toying with her nipple causing her to gasp his name all the more.

She managed to speak her voice soft and sweet. “Oh, God, Jimmy. Feels too good.”

He moaned in response his cock leaking precum against the sheets he hoping he wouldn’t cum from this alone.

He began to focus on her clit remembering her reaction to his fingers moments ago. The action made her thighs quiver a whine leaving her as he gently sucked at the bundle of nerves.

He allowed his fingers to slide into her center sliding in and out of her as his tongue busied itself with her clit.

She gripped onto the back of his head pulling his hair probably a little too hard her voice shaky. “Fuck, Jimmy. I’m gonna…I’m so close.”

He moaned in response her comment encouraging him to continue; she so wet she was dripping down his fingers as he thrusted them in her center.

She cried out her thighs shaking her back arching her end hitting her so quickly and suddenly she almost felt breathless.

Jimmy continued to focus on her clit, his movements a little gentler and slower as he worked her through her orgasm.

As she came down from her orgasm the stimulation became too much she frantically moving out of his touch.

He stared up at her, the adoration clear in his eyes as he once again cleaned her from his fingers.

He pressed his lips to her thighs wanting to check in on her well aware that he still needed to be delicate with her. “How are we doing? You okay?”

She spoke, her voice shaky. “Fuck, Jimmy. So good.”

She took a deep shuddering breath, her body feeling limp and pleasant. “I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard.”

He felt a sense of pride wash over him, he moved back up her body, pressing soft loving kisses to her skin.

His lips met hers, she gasped at the fact that the lower region of his body was still very much alert and excited.

She whimpered as his cock brushed against her center desire, easily flooding through her even in the afterglow of the most intense orgasm she’d ever had in her life.

She spoke almost sure she’d never been so certain of anything in her entire life. “I want more. Want you in me.”

He groaned, his cock aching at the request. He spoke needing to know she was sure. “Are you sure? You’re ready? I don’t want you to feel pressured. Trust me, babe. I’m having a good time regardless of if we continue or not.”

“I want more, please Jimmy. Make love to me. Want you to bury yourself in me and make me cum again.” She replied not above lying it on thick wanting to express just how badly she needed this to continue.

He groaned at the words, his voice still hesitant. “And you’re sure we don’t need the condoms? I mean...you're 100 percent sure you're okay proceeding without…I know you’re on the pill and we're both clean. You're completely sure about this?.”

He felt his cheeks flush remembering the awkwardness of the first conversation they'd had about birth control. He was pretty sure he’d blurted out that he wouldn’t mind having another kid but he would prefer to wait even if they waited a while and it made him an old dad. He was also pretty sure he mentioned that they should talk to his daughter before they even considered trying for a baby.

He was just relieved that she hadn’t minded his babbling and hadn’t run far far away at the mention of making a baby. She'd given him the gentle reassurance that she was on the pill and had been for a long while. She was fine not bothering with dealing with condoms if he was okay with it. It was a waste of money if she was on the pill she'd pointed out.

She caressed his sides, the neediness clear in her voice. “I'm so sure. I want to feel all of you. Please, Jimmy. I need you.”

He groaned, nodding his head, the question leaving him. “Me on top?”

She nodded her head, the response leaving her. “For the first time. We are definitely trying other positions before we leave Vegas.”

He groaned, nodding his head knowing she’d get no arguments from him on those plans.

He reached down grasping his cock in his hand sliding it along her center trying to coat himself in her knowing the lube they’d used earlier was most likely dry by now.

He spoke needing to ask as he positioned himself at her entrance. “Do we need lube?”

She shook her head a giggle leaving her. “You just ate my pussy like it was your last meal. Pretty sure you know how soaked I am. I don’t think we need the extra moisture.”

He giggled at the comment, his cock twitching at the reminder of what he’d just done to her.

He took a deep breath needing to say it. “If it gets to be too much just say the word. I’ll stop no hurt feelings.”

With that he thrust forward her tight center enveloping his aching cock. He groaned as he buried himself in her slowly to the hilt a cry leaving the both of them as his pelvis pressed to hers.

He spoke knowing that her request to talk wasn’t any less relevant now. “You feel so good. So so so good. Could spend the rest of my life here.”

She giggled at the statement Jimmy groaning as her body shifted against him. She spoke her voice light and airy as she stroked his skin. “You fill me up so good, Jimmy.”

He moaned at the comment daring to rock against her, not quite ready to pull out just yet. “You’re so fucking wet and you’re so snug around my cock.”

She whimpered at the comment needing to say it. “I love you.”

“I love you so much. Love you.” He replied, finally forcing himself to pull out before thrusting back in.

He did his best to keep his gaze locked with hers as he found a rhythm, her legs wrapping around his hips, tilting her hips back giving him a deeper angle to thrust.

He groaned as he watched her reaction, he was sure he’d never get enough of seeing her in this moment. Her eyes struggled to stay locked with his and not slide closed as she soaked up the pleasure. Her lips were parted soft sweet moans leaving her.

He spoke, continuing to rock in and out of her. “You’re so perfect.”

She whined at the praise, her nails digging into his back as he sped up his pace. The only thing that managed to fill the room were shared moans, soft praises, the creak of the hotel bed, and the sound of his skin meeting hers.

He groaned the words leaving him not caring if he was just saying anything that came to his brain. “Feels like your body was made for me, feels too good. Fuck, you’re never going to get rid of me after this. Gonna follow you like a lost dog. I’m yours.”

She pressed her lips to his a giggle leaving her. “Don’t want to ever get rid of you.”

She dared to reach between them, finding her clit rubbing tight circles against it. Jimmy groaned as it hit him what she was doing. He made a note to get her to do it again in those other positions she was promising he wanting a better clearer view. “That’s my girl, fuck yes. Help me make you feel so good. Want to make you cum again. Gonna make you cum so much before we leave Vegas.”

She whimpered, doubling down her head falling back ,the stimulation almost too much. She was almost certain if this was anyone but Jimmy she would have tapped out by now.

She was amazed that something that she’d been so afraid of for so long now managed to feel so amazing. She knew that Jimmy was the main factor in it feeling so wonderful. No other man would have ever made her feel this secure to ever give any of this a chance after last time.

Her last experience was pushed so far from her mind the only thing she could focus on was the man over her making her feel this amazing.

She whined, her body sliding closer and closer to finding release for the second time tonight. Jimmy sensed it, he speaking unable to stop himself from babbling it clear he was struggling not to become lost in his own pleasure. “Fuck, hon, oh God, beautiful, feels too good, oh fuck, perfect love.”

Her clit throbbed her body sliding closer and closer the feeling euphoric and so all consuming. She could feel the tension building in her body, she sliding so close to release.

She felt herself slide over the edge, Jimmy's name leaving her lips ,she digging her nails into his back she was almost sure she was risking drawing blood.

If she was, it went unnoticed by Jimmy, the sensation of her center fluttering around him she so soaked and hot he almost wanted to cry.

He did his best to keep thrusting through her orgasm though his movements were sloppy and clumsy, his cock aching his balls drawing close to his body signaling his own end was right around the corner.

It didn’t take long for him to follow her right over the edge as she finally began to come down from her own orgasm. He only managed a couple of clumsy thrusts, his own body reaching its end.

He moaned so loud he had to bury his face against the pillows, almost certain he’d deafen her or piss off their neighbors as he fell over the edge.

He spilled into her his release hot, his hips weakly thrusting. He knew they were making a mess as he came deep inside of her, her body taking it all a soft gasp leaving her the sensation intense even with as overstimulated as she was from her own orgasm.

He collapsed against her his body feeling heavy and drained as the last of his release seeped out of him.

His cock began to soften knowing any movement would mean sliding from her warmth but he found himself unwilling to pull out of her. He was relieved that she held onto him desperately, apparently just as eager to keep him within her as he was to stay.

He whined as his anatomy won out over his will he sliding from her.

He reluctantly rolled off of her, wasting little time to slide as close to her as possible.

She turned to face him cringing both at the soreness between her thighs and the smallest hint of their mixed releases leaking from her.

Jimmy reached out, smoothing back her hair, his voice raspy and exhausted. “You okay?”

“Never better…what about you?” She dared to ask knowing that tonight had been just as big of a deal to him.

“So good, perfect.” He insisted daring to lean in his lips sliding along hers lazily.

She returned his kisses, her voice soft and drowsy as she struggled to stay awake. “I love you.”

“Love you too, so much.” He insisted his hand pressing to her cheek his other hand pressing to her back as he held her against him.

She held on to him just as tightly, her voice so sleepy. “Can we share a bath after we rest?”

“Definitely. A bath sounds perfect. Then I think you said something in the midst of passion about trying other positions. I know we’ve got a week in Vegas, but there are a lot of positions out there. We can probably even google some new ones.” He replied, his lips pressing to any bit of skin he could reach he unable to resist teasing her about her earlier comment about different positions.

She giggled, nodding her head. “The hotel does have free wifi. Rest first though.”

He managed to speak as her eyes slid shut, his lips pressing to her temple, his own eyes growing just as heavy. “Love you, thank you for not letting me be scared to love you.”

#jimmy palmer #jimmy palmer x reader #jimmy palmer smut #ncis smut #ncis fanfiction

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questionablyrhetoric · 4 months

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tricks i use to not die

(will be updated from time to time)

1. walking. obviously you always get the whole “walk it’s so good for you,” but walks can often suck. if you play a high intensity sport like i do several times a week, doing intense workouts outside of that is very detrimental and you WILL burn out. walking helps burn calories, get steps in, and overall makes you feel better.

2. eat serving sizes. it’s specific, but then i know exactly what i’m eating when i’m eating it, especially when it comes to unhealthy snacks. (plus those are often very small serving sizes)

3. waiting. when i want to eat i always wait 15 minutes before, so i can really think on my decision and it’s not a spur of the moment choice.

4. this may only work for some, but tell yourself you can eat. you see a snack you can say “oh that’s perfect! i’ll eat that later.” but as time goes on you lose interest and don’t end up eating it. restrict your food, not your mind.

5. stay out of the house. currently for me it’s difficult because it’s winter in canada, and i want to stay warm, but i try to get in at least a walk a day and spend time downtown or with friends. (this works because my best friend also doesn’t eat a lot and has a gluten intolerance like me, so our outings rarely revolve around food)

6. focus on nutrients. everyone says this, but it’s true. think how what you plan to eat will do for your body, and if you want to actually gain nutrients from this.

7. get in a routine. for me i wake up at 5:00, have a shower, do a few easy workouts, do some stretches, get homework done (if needed), and then get some rest time before i start getting ready. my mornings are beneficial to me mentally for lots of reasons i won’t list, and a routine will give you something to rely on.

8. never have a “fuck it” mentality. you ate chocolate? that’s fine. enjoy it. but don’t believe your day is ruined and then binge. people slip up, they go over limits, and that’s okay. don’t make it worse.

9. find something to do. take up a new hobby, or learn a new skill, or work on a project. find something you genuinely enjoy and work on it. your mind will stay occupied.

10. if you use it, find th1n$pø that looks like you. i could never get behind the skinny asian girls who are about 5’0 and 70 lbs. for me i personally just want to look like a skeleton, so i prefer the more 🦴spo type. but if you’re going for more realistic goals, find photos that are similar to your body and build. you can’t change your skeleton. i’m sorry.

11. if you happen to be poc or have really curly hair, get it done. i spent eight hours in a hair salon getting braids. easiest fast of my life.

12. this is a habit i still struggle with, but try not to weigh/measure obsessively. if you weigh yourself multiple times a day you’ll get discouraged. i aim for about twice a week, and try and focus on subtler things (my rings being lose, my clothes looking bigger, making a new hole in my belt, etc). it keeps optimism going.

13. if you can, join a sport. i play hockey and i burn between 700-900 cals from one practice, which is only an hour. incredibly helpful and fun all at once.

14. i’m so going to hell for this, but romanticism. you think i’m enjoying this? fuck no. but by imagining the little things and romanticizing my little disorder, i’m keeping myself in a decent enough headspace to keep going. (i think i’ll make a longer post on this topic later)

15. this is incredibly difficult, but act. lie your ass off. do your homework, smile, make jokes, socialize. don’t change immediately and try and act as everything’s fine, people won’t catch on for a while if you do.

16. have a goal that is for you, but not just about looks. this is a little tricky. most often i see people either doing this for a) to look more attractive. b) so the object of their affections will reciprocate. or c) to get revenge on those who’ve body-shamed them. my current goal is to fit the part for the role i got casted in, more to embody the character. obviously i do this for looks as well, but mainly it’s so i can kinda method act. find something specific to work towards alongside your other goals.

17. water. i’m personally not one of those people who chugs litres daily, but i try to drink at least one water bottle full daily. if you find yourself hating the taste of water, get some of those 0 cal flavourers. mine’s berry pomegranate.

18. become loyal to your brands. i only eat two kinds of protein bars, only drink coke zero or diet dr. pepper. this could just be me, but experimenting doesn’t make me feel very safe. i like to know what i’m eating inside and out.

19. always, ALWAYS keep something on you. i’m not joking. if you’re going out after three days of fasting get a fucking cereal bar or something, because you can easily get faint and risk it. i’m not telling you to eat, but always keep food on you for emergency.

20. spend time alone. don’t completely isolate yourself, but be alone when you need to. it gives your mind a break from the stresses of social life and allows you to just get some good thinking in.

21. get used to small portions. if you go out for a meal, get a small salad instead of a large, small coffees, forgo snacks, stay with water instead of getting a drink. this both gives you less food and has you not spending so much money.

22. go to bed early. we all probably know by now when you don’t eat you have insomnia, so by going to bed at say nine, if you spend maybe, three hours awake, you’re still getting roughly 6-8 hours of sleep depending on when you wake up. if you had gone to bed at midnight, you’d have gotten about 3-5 hours.

23. i cannot stress this enough. IF YOU ARE DRINKING, FOLLOW THE RULES. drinking on an empty stomach is dangerous enough, remember to wait 30 minutes between drinks, drink water, never accept rides from drunk people or drive yourself, etc. we’re already risking our lives, no need to get worse.

24. take good care of myself. although i look like i’m rotting away, i’m incredibly intense when it comes to personal hygiene. it’s easier for me personally to exist when i’m clean and fresh, and spending time doing my hair or makeup helps distract me.

25. cook your own food. i understand a lot of people may not have the time or money to afford cooking for themselves, or maybe they just don’t like cooking, and that’s fine. but if you have access to a kitchen and ingredients, look up some recipes! spend time learning! it’s so much fun and gives me a way to both pass the time and know exactly what i’m putting in my food.

26. if you wish, go vegan or vegetarian. i’ve been on a strict gluten free diet for a few years now due to an intolerance (so against my will), but i’m coming up to a year being vegetarian by choice. not trying to preach this lifestyle onto you, but if you want to eat more vegetables or have an easier excuse for just getting a salad when out with friends, there you go.

27. do things you actually enjoy. i’m not going to force myself to run because i fucking hate running, but i’m perfectly comfortable going for a bike ride or long walk. i’m not one for soccer, but i’ll play hockey and ski. if you’re exercising, don’t force yourself to do something you hate. do something fun and enjoyable, and everyone’s different so don’t feel pressured to be “better.”

28. (i sound like such a consumer) go shopping. seriously. going to a mall will get you thousands of steps and thousands of dollars in debt but fuck it we ball.

29. try to be mindful. lately i’ve been getting into journalling again to try and get off screens, and also been doing puzzles to stay relaxed and focused. it’s tempting to just scroll eternally, but spending some uninterrupted time to just think and exist is quite beneficial to your mental health. and considering you’re on this side of tumblr, you need it.

30. get outside. even if not to exercise, if it’s just to sit on the curb or feed birds, get outside. it’s just so good for your mental health and seriously you’ll feel better.

this post is very long, but i still plan to update it.

#ana rexx #tw self destructive behavior #tw ana diary #ana bllog #ed not sheeren #⭐️ving #🦴spo #ana rant #ana tricks #ana trigger #ed bllog #ed tricks #ed trigger warning #ana talks #tw relaspe

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icedmatchatae · 1 year

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No Kisses | KTH Chapter IV: Agreements

Pairing: Captain of the Football Team fuckboi Taehyung x Class President goody two shoes Reader

Genre: FWB AU-ish, enemies to frienemies? with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff, angst?? I guess

Summary: It's championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you're forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious "no kisses" rule.

Chapter IV: Agreements || Series Masterlist

Perhaps leaving wasn’t the best idea because you were still hot and bothered and couldn’t even focus on your tasks. Not to mention that you wore a skirt and had nothing underneath. You had to be extra cautious bending down or making any movement at all. Luckily, most people were gone around this time or studying at the library. It was rather quiet, which you loved.

All you could think about was his skillful fingers thrusting your cunt hole as he curled them to your sweet spot. Him whispering those dirty words, sucking hickeys on your décolletage…

Ugh, damn him denying you an orgasm. Damn him. Damn him!

“Miss Prez?”

Your head shot up and ripped away from the paperwork on your president’s desk. Hoseok stared at you with a questioning gaze, looking like you’ve been distracted. “___, you okay?”

You cleared your throat, slowly nodding. “Of course, what’s up?” You pushed away from the papers and tried your best to stay attentive to your Vice President.

“Nothing just wanted to tell you that we’re heading out,” Hoseok informed as he shouldered his backpack. You noticed some of your council members leaving the room. You checked the time, and it was three in the afternoon. “I know you have to stay back for the banner but don’t stay too late.”

You got up from the main desk and gathered the papers to put them in the filing cabinet. “I won’t. We’re just sketching the design now. It shouldn’t take that long.”

“Are you sure? I’m worried.”

“Hobi, you have nothing to worry about. It’s just a banner,” You chuckled, shaking your head at how silly he was for being concerned.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” He spoke truthfully. “I know you’ll be with him.”

Your smile warped into a frown. Suddenly you felt your heart being heavy yet empty by his words. It made you snap back into reality and away from what was leaking under you. Of course, your crush on Taehyung would be something to always worry about, especially after what happened between you two.

Hoseok knew you better than you knew yourself. You will continue to feel this way for a while, and it won’t be something you’ll forget. You would be worried about how you’ll be being alone with him again (look what happened in the lockers). But as a caring best friend, he knew you’ll be smart enough to know what to do and will support you.

“Don’t worry about that.” You grinned softly. “He’ll just like his regular self and annoy me, but that’s it.”

“Won’t it hurt seeing him though?”

“I have no choice…but I’ll deal with it.” He could only nod at you as you went on with your task. He bid farewell to you before closing the council door, leaving you alone.

As you sketched out the words on the paper, you couldn’t help but think about your feelings. Though deep down inside of you, you enjoyed being with Taehyung but being with him like that was detrimental to your poor heart. You knew how he was and where he stood.

He was never a person that settled too, never saw him in a relationship ever since you met him. You only heard person after person that saddened you, but you couldn’t do anything about it. On top of that, his “no kissing” rule applied to you. Even in the lockers, he didn’t do it. He seemed like he was about to, but it didn’t happen.

You had to stop whatever you were doing with him. You knew it wasn’t getting anywhere. You weren’t like this, but you couldn’t help but resist him. Maybe because it was the only way to be near him? Was that all that mattered?

No, it shouldn’t. It’ll tear your heart piece by piece. You knew this. You’re better than this. You needed to be strong through this time. After this, you weren’t going to see him again…well, you’ll see him with Jimin, but you’ll be with him less. If you kept avoiding him, then he would almost be non-existent.

Just get the shit done and move on. Sounds like a good plan.

The door slammed open, startling you and your thoughts. You couldn’t help but turn to the perpetrator with an irritated but shocked look.

Ahh, yes. The man that’s been consuming your entire being.

Except now, he was back in his uniform. He hung his blazer over his shoulder and his bag on the other. His dress shirt wasn’t tucked in, and sleeves were rolled up, revealing his veiny forearms. His tie was loose and lazily around him, and at that top of his head, the darkened locks were untamed and not bothered in covering his eyes.

For someone who was as high achieving and had a well-known status in the university, he looked like a delinquent. A really hot bad boy you would be willing to drop everything for, but let’s not.

You needed to move on and do what needed to be done. You also reminded yourself that he denied you of pleasure.

“Princess!” Taehyung sang, but the anger reappeared on you, creating a scowl on your face. “You’re staring. You missed me? We were only apart for an hour.” The classic smirk and aura bounced back as he closed and locked the door behind him. He gradually walked up and carelessly threw his bag and blazer at the nearby desk.

“Fuck off, you fucknut!” You scoffed before going back to the banner.

“Baby, you say such harsh pet names for me.” You heard him in your vicinity, yet you refused to look at him again. If you did, you’d crack. “I told you it’s your—”

“I hate you, you asshole!”

“Kit—“

“Just shut up and help me do the work!”

“Princess, keep talking your fucking mouth like that and see what happens.” Hot breath brushed through your ear. Okay, he was right behind you, and warmth began pooling back in your stomach. His front pushed into your back with warm palms holding over your hips. “Don’t make me angry.”

“Taehyung…” You breathed out.

“That’s not my name.”

“Taehyung, we shouldn’t…”

“Why not, baby?” His nose nudged through the baby hairs sticking out of your ponytail. “You weren’t complaining in the lockers.” His lips suckled the skin behind your ear, causing you to gasp and hold onto the desk. The tingling sensation went down to your leaking pussy that betrayed you even if you were in your feelings like five minutes ago.

His hand stroked upwards before stopping at your blouse buttons. One by one, he unfastened them, eventually revealing the nude laced bra underneath your uniform. He pulled one of the cups down, your perked breast spilling out.

“Taehyung.” You squeaked as he pinched your hardened nub. Your arms were quivering, trying hard to stay up. “I-I’m serious.”

While a hand played with your boob, the other went lower and under your skirt, feeling your exposed sopping folds to him. “Fuck, you’re still so wet. Well, aren’t you prepared and ready for me?” He said it as a statement, mocking you and your uncontrollable desire. You merely whined but remembered where you were. You sucked in your lips and bit down. “You even forgot your panties with me. Were you giving it to me as a gift? Like the other ones?”

“M-more? More, please daddy.” Your cheeks burned at your needy voice.

“Awww, is my baby finally begging? I’m so proud of you!!”

You once again were weak, moaning at his touch. God, he was so skilled. You leaked more of your essence from his praise. You extended your neck back, resting on his shoulder while he sniffed your tied hair and left a trail of kisses on the length of your neck. Then without realizing it, he pushed his two cold fingers into your heat, making you whimper. You fell forward onto the desk, shriveling up into a dark hole of lust. He curled his digits in you rapidly while your legs were shaking weakly. He touched your sweet spot and battered it with his tips.

You grabbed his arm from behind you to stop him from going too fast, but he only intertwined your fingers with his unoccupied ones. “S-sir, to-too fast!” The warmth in your middle started to spread, and you felt it coming quicker than the last.

“I gotta prep you, princess.” He growled, hearing the squishy sounds your pussy made. “Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside of you.” He pinched your clit, making you flinch.

You mewled, trying your best to push yourself back up, but your legs were powerless over the pleasure he gave you. “I’m—I think I’m gonna-ugh-I think I’m cumming!”

He snorted, “Already? Such eager girl to cum, right?” You let out a moan as a reply, but he lets go of your hand to slap your ass, making you wince from pain and carnality. “Beg like a good girl.”

Of course, you didn’t want to beg, but his dominance over you washed your entire being that very moment that you just had to. “Please, please, daddy. Can I cum? I’ll be your good girl.”

He absolutely loved your pleading, seeing you bend over a desk and making pretty noises for him. It was too sweet for him that it made his heart skip a beat. “Okay, princess. You can come.”

“Taeh—ah, Daddy!”

You were right towards your orgasm when he pulled his fingers out of you but kept playing with your clit. You were about to protest as you thought he would deny you another orgasm. But to your dismay, you didn’t notice him taking his fat dick out of his pants. He jammed his whole length inside you to the edge without warning, which went straight into your cloud nine.

“Fuck, you’re tight.” He hissed.

“Nooooo!!” You whined, but not because he put it in (you were actually glad). Your body convulsed, sending white spots to your vision. Your limbs and feet gave out, but Taehyung grabbed you from falling. He lifted one leg over the desk and held a grip on the other. However, unfortunately, you squirted again, wetting the council floor.

Taehyung helped you through your high, gently rubbing circles on your sensitive nub and praising you. “Doing so well, baby.” He didn’t care if you ruined his pants or shoes (or his whole existence); he wanted you to feel good and make sure you were okay.

“Taehyuny, the floor…I made a mess.” You sniffled, embarrassment consuming you as you were coming down. You realized how much you hated squirting, it’s so messy, and it gets everywhere. You turned your head to see him with your cute pout. “I hate it.”

“___, it’s okay. It happens!” He leaned over to kiss your forehead. “If it helps, I love it when you squirt.”

“It doesn’t, and I still hate it!”

He frowned and did his own little pout before standing up straight. “Just for that, I’m gonna make you squirt every time we have sex.” He then held onto your middle.

“Wha—”

Your response was cut off when he pulled himself out until his head was left and snapped back into you. A little stream came out of you. You gasped, gripping onto the edge of the desks tightly. You were still a little sensitive from your high, but Taehyung showed no mercy when he rutted into you not as fast as his fingers but wayyyy harder.

The legs of the desk were dragging and scratching the floor while his grip on your waist was firm enough to hold marks on for days. You couldn’t even stand on your feet. Thighs were shaking, and your arms struggling to hold yourself up. You were basically dead weight on the surface. You were writhing away from the amount of stimulation you were getting. You couldn’t believe you were doing it in the council room, fearing that someone might walk in on both of you.

Yet the awareness of a person looking at you brought some sort of excitement to you.

Taehyung quickened his pace, making his strokes shorter but ultimately hitting the special spot in you. Your screams got louder for him to know he got you right where he wanted you. You cursed under your breath as your cheek laid flat on top with a bit of drool unconsciously leaking out of your parted lips. You gripped onto the edges as your eyes rolled back in delight.

“Baby, do you hate me now?”

“N-no.”

“Was disappointed again for you to speak like that to me.” One of his hands holding your waist pulled away to slap your bare ass, causing you to jolt forward.

“I-I sorry!”

“You’re always sorry. Never sorry when you act out, but sorry when you’re getting punished. “His cavernous voice sounded so smooth like he wasn’t even being affected at all by the harsh movement you both were doing. He slapped you again before massaging the aching fat.

“Didn’t mean to!” You stuttered before turning your head to face him. He took in your corrupted fucked out face that he created and could only see. God, he loved it so much. “You’re so mean!” You pouted cutely, making Taehyung soften his rage, slowing down his motion. He hated that you could turn him into mush when it came to you, but he enjoyed it nevertheless.

“Aww, baby. It was for your own good. I promise I didn’t mean to upset you.” He cooed, taking your smaller hand into his big one. He lifted the back of your hand to his pretty lips to kiss ever so gently. He continued to rub your fingers with his thumb while he stared at you endearingly. “Just be good, okay? I won’t do it again if you behave.” He said before going back to rough demon actions that you, not going to lie, have grown to enjoy.

“Hh-ungg! O-okay, daddy.” You squirmed, tightening your clasp on his hand. “God, you’re so big!”

“Good girl.” He chuckled, pulling your weak body closer to him. “Do you feel my dick hitting your cervix, princess?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’re such a dirty little president. Fucking the football captain in your council room.”

“N-no, ‘M not dirty.”

”Aww, poor baby! Did I hurt your feelings?” He spoke condescendingly, but it only excited you. Your stomach clenching with thrill. “What if I call you a little slut?” Oh no, you clenched tightly around him, hearing those words he felt and knew. “Oh, you like that? A little slut who loves daddy’s cock!”

“Y-no!” You whined, feeling ashamed and another wave coming to you again. “Yes! Ah, gonna cum. Please let me, daddy, please!”

“Little president wants to cum? Go ahead, kitten. Cum on daddy’s cock.”

You didn’t need any more time because you held his hand for dear life when you folded your body onto the desk drenched in saliva. Your velvet walls pulsated around his girthy dick. He was getting sloppy on his end to reach for his own pleasure. After a few more strokes, ropes after ropes of cum filling you up, the sensation tingling your insides. You felt Taehyung’s body rest on top of yours, kissing your shoulder and giving small praises. Your heavy breathing resonated around the room as you tried to regain some energy.

Once he was finished, he said, “Okay, no standing up sex because you’ll fall.” He pulled himself up and out of you, making you wince from the sensitivity. He turned and hoisted you up and sat you down on a new cold desk. Your chests pressing onto each other.

“This is the last time you’ll do this with me.” You breathed out tirelessly, wiping leftover drool with the back of your hand. You grimaced as you felt some cum leaking out of your hole.

“Maybe I’ll just keep you flat onto a table.” He ignored your statement. He bent down so that your foreheads touched as he gazed into your eyes. Obviously, he had that post-sex appearance, but his pupils said another thing. They looked at you with serene care that lured you in…enough to lean forward as you stared at his reddened lips. Your submission got the best of you. You pursed your lips all while closing your eyes, thinking how it felt to—

“Baby.” He leaned back, causing you to lose balance, but he caught you again. You opened your eyes in shock before landing on his guilty-looking ones. “I-I can’t remember? No kisses.”

Fuck, you forgot about his rule again. What you did made it look like you were desperate for him, and clearly, you weren’t..right?

You cleared your throat, taking in the slight rejection before nodding. “No kisses.” You were so embarrassed that you needed to cover it up. But with what?

You got it.

Anger.

Out of nowhere, your expression was filled with rage as you pushed him away from you. “Clean everything up!” You demanded, pointing at your mess and your cum-leaking cunt. “You made this happen!” He was surprised by your action and your unwelcoming demeanor. It lowkey terrified him but also turned him on so well.

All while his half-softened dick was out and twitched enough for you to glance at it.

Damn, he still looked huge, but you pushed that thought away and met his fearful expression. “Go get supplies from the closet!”

“Y-yes, ma’am!” He rushed towards the closet to clean the mess.

After cleaning and making everything in tip-top shape like no fornication and squirting happened within the room, you both decided to call it quits for the day and go home. Taehyung offered to drop you off. At first, you denied, but he insisted, especially since you were limping. You heard him chortling, which only made you give him a deadly stare that made no effect on him other than how cute you looked.

Since you walking around like a bus hit you, Taehyung wrapped one arm around your shoulders and another in front of your waist. Again, you told him you didn’t need his help, but he was adamant. You couldn’t help but get those damn butterflies when he kissed the top of your head and snuggled his cheek into your hair to sniff your scent.

You shake his head, questioning why he would do that. How can a person not kiss another but do these types of things? There has to be a valid reason for it. But it did make sense for him to not kiss you since you weren’t…well, you didn’t know what you were to him. You couldn’t help but think that you were most likely a quick, accessible fuck that pained your heart.

The sun was setting, and his car was one of the few in the parking lot. Once you reached his car, he opened the passenger’s car and guided you in before going on his side. The ride to your apartment was quiet but not awkward. While driving, he took your left hand and intertwined your fingers with his, also earning a few kisses from him at every stoplight.

You both arrived at your building complex, and before you could get out, you called for him. Your eyes met his as he waited patiently for you to speak again. He offered a soft grin that made a thump in your chest.

You began, “Look, I know we argue a lot and insult each other—”

“We also fuck.”

You threw daggers at him that made no difference in the arrogant expression he had on. But he noticed how serious you were and nodded for you to go on. “Whatever we do, can we just push our differences aside and focus on our tasks.”

“We do do our tasks.”

“Yeah, but you tease me…and other stuff! We need to cooperate.” You countered, feeling tired of explaining this. What does he not get? “This means as much to me as it does to you. We need to work together and efficiently. After this, we don’t need to deal with each other any longer.”

When you spoke that last sentence, hurt appeared in Taehyung’s eyes. He didn’t want that to happen. He wanted to keep you as close as possible. But judging by your expression, it seemed bound to happen. If you said you would do it, you’d do it. You never went back in your words. But still, at the very least, he wanted to keep you near him even though it was temporary.

So he agreed, “I’m willing to do that.” His acceptance made you sigh in relief. “If…”

You spoke too soon.

“Why if??!! Can’t you say yes already? We’re both getting something out of the events!”

“Because I’m selfish.” He shrugged, being nonchalant unbeknown that his palms were sweating for what he was about to say. “I’ll only do it if we continue what we’re doing.” He spoke out, but you were caught off guard at what he suggested.

“What do you mean what we have?”

“You know what I mean, kitten.” He smirked after he poked his tongue out briefly to lick his lips. He tilted towards you until your faces were centimeters away, noses almost touching. “You…me…you under me, you on top of me, in bed, sometimes in the car, maybe the classroom, I don’t discriminate.”

Dear God, his eye contact was so strong that you could not look away. His cocoa-brown irises illuminated in the setting sun while his skin glowed under the tangerine lights. “I-I—that’s a bold suggestion you’re making…”

“Come on, baby. Please?”

You would say yes in a heartbeat, but your ultimate goal was to get over him. You knew that being tied down in a relationship isn’t something he’d want, and though you hopelessly accepted into sleeping with him, it didn’t mean anything. Most importantly, he didn’t kiss you, so you became a statistic.

Of course, you didn’t want to tell him that truth, so you decided to say, “Taehyung, I know you get around. You have people lining up for you.” You weren’t lying per se, but it was part of it in some sort of way. “We’ve been in danger doing it without protec—“

“I know you just called me a whore, and I’m willing to admit it.” He interrupted you. “However, I never do it without a condom. I’ve been clean, I promise.”

“But—“

“My last hookup before you was months ago, which was the longest I’ve been out. You don’t need to worry.” He was being determined for you to agree. It would seem like he wasn’t taking no for an answer, but you weren’t saying no to him, so there was a light of hope. “I can make you feel so good. I make you feel so good. I want to do more like putting my fat dick into your small mouth, tying you up, blindfolding you, making you beg for more. I just want your pussy and yours only. “

“Taehyung!” You whined, hitting his shoulder. A peak of blush shined through your cheeks. You palmed your face to hide the embarrassment of his words for you…because you liked what he was saying. You could feel him grinning at your response, knowing you’re slowly accepting him and his offer. “Will it just be you and me?” You said quietly as a mouse. You dropped your hands on your lap and looked up at him with your big-doe eyes, which tinged his insides.

Kim Taehyung was a weak man.

“I’ll make that happen, princess. Only me and you.” Out of nowhere, he leaned forward to peck the tip of your nose. “However, I think I need to make it clear once again that I do not do kisses.” You nodded sadly, acknowledging the times you’ve tried kissing him. “But that won’t mean I won’t enjoy my time when I’m with you. You and I will have fun. I like spending my time with my ___.”

The emphasis on my really tugged on your heartstrings. You like the sound of it and were about to agree until you said, “If you hurt me, it’s over. I will destroy you. That’s a promise.”

He laughed soundly, though deep down, he was scared. “And I promise too, princess.”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll do it!” You officially accepted, and you couldn’t believe you actually went through with it. You leaned back into your seat, feeling defeated yet glad. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m using my body to get you to do shit.”

“Hey! You’re using my dick too.” He smiled triumphantly with his ego bleeding with pride. He pulled your chin to face him with his thumb and index finger. “And you like it, don’t you?”

You didn’t want to say yes, so you scowled and pouted at him. But judging how red you were, he already knew his answer.

“Well, then…” He moved closer to you. His lips touched your ear as you felt his warm breath hitting your earrings and cartilage. “How ’bout round two at my place?”

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung #kim taehyung x reader

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celestiall0tus · 2 months

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Akumatizations in Bloody Bug

I do what to address this since this is a little muddy in canon. And, since I will be adding that sprinkle of trauma into this work, I need to make this clear.

The process will function very much like canon where it takes negative emotions and consent from the victim for the akumatization to happen. However, just because you aren't always happy means you'll be akumatized. As we kinda saw in s5, there needs to be something that Hawkmoth/Monarch can use to properly wield the negative emotions. He cannot just use someone with negative emotions for what he wants, but manipulates them based on their desires as it's the best way to get them to agree. Think Ariel from the animated classic. Ursula went after Ariel during her most vulnerable. Even when Ariel was being tempted, she still refused, until the eels hit that sore spot. This is a lot like how Hawkmoth will be like Ursula, striking those who are most vulnerable, however...

The victim's consent is a big piece. Now, we kinda see where the victims are almost unable to refuse as Hawkmoth almost always wins. Obviously, we've seen some resist still, but that is a greater possibility here. Whereas before we see them fight, but fall, that won't be a thing. The victims must fully consent to the process, but can also choose to relinquish their powers or even straight up refuse, just as Nathaniel did in Evillustrator. Though Nathaniel is a rare case where persuasion could be used. Because...

The victims will be dark reflections of themselves. This aspect pulls more from the first AU that I wrote, Miraculous AU, in which the victims would be turned into monsters because of their darkest desires and are a reflection of the darkest parts of themselves. They won't be murderous in Bloody Bug like they are in Miraculous AU, but it will result in the wildly different personalities for some of them. And, just like in the show, the victims won't remember what happened while they were akumatized.

This brings me to the trauma and shit that some of the characters are going through. Obviously there is Alix and Adrien, who suffer greatly from losing their mothers where Adrien is told to "not feel" and Alix is a mess when it comes to her mother. These two will have their lows, but will never consent to being akumatized. This is because they are the heroes at the forefront and know to be on guard for the akumas.

It's for all this why Bloody Bug takes more of an approach very similar to Batman in the old animated series where he showed more sympathy to the villains because he recognized they are people who just had bad days and genuinely makes an attempt to help them. Bloody Bug faces a similar method to prevent them for being akumatized for the same reason. She can't regulate their emotions or force them to do anything, but she can at least attempt to set them straight and see the error of their choices. Both her and Chat Noir.

I want to make this also clear. I do this because I genuinely hate the message in later sessions of always stay positive and never let your negative emotions out. This is extremely detrimental to one's mental health as we need to let those emotions out. If we bottle, it can hurt us in many different ways. I understand the show is meant to be silly and nonsensical until it wants to be taken seriously, but I cannot ignore that simple fact.

We will only heal from trauma, negative emotions, and everything if we allow ourselves to feel. We may not always have the courage to confront it and resolve it, but we can't just bury it and always pretend like nothing is wrong. And that is the core of this rewrite. Healing. This is no romance. This is a drama, coming of age story with a heavy focus on the relationships we build, how they shape us, and moving on. And I wanted to make this clear before I moved forward with writing more of this (once my shoulder heals)

#bloody bug au #canon rewrite #au info

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fairyqueentitana · 1 year

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Let's talk about TVD

For those who don't know TVD is the shortened name for the series known as The Vampire Diaries, the story centres around a girl by the name of Elena Gilbert after the tragic death of her parents.

Elena survives the accident that took her parents' lives and is preparing for her first day of school at the beginning of the series. Now, this all seems nice and mundane until the story progresses and she is dragged into the world of vampires, witches and werewolves, did I mention that she is a doppelganger and the most essential ingredient in a ritual that she has to die in. Yeah so not how she saw her life going.

To make matters worse she gets trapped in a love triangle between her boyfriend Stefan and his brother Damon. Right now that you are all caught up let's jump in.

While the show is quite popular and people celebrate the final victories of Elena and her friends I have an issue with multiple things.

Several Characters in this show are SA'ed one way or another and everyone acts like it's okay. When we are introduced to the Salvatore brothers the reason we are given for their feud is a woman. Not just any woman their sire and the 2nd doppelganger Katerina Petrova aka Katherine Pierce. She moves into their home and flirts with both men while compelling them to keep the relationship a secret from the other brother. While Damon was okay with her vampirism, Stefan was not he was horrified and did not want to be intimate with her anymore. What does Katherine do? Compel him to be fine with it and then continues to be intimate with him. Guys that isn't normal she should have stopped what she did was wrong. The second example is Damon Salvatore who I have to wonder if he is a serial offender what he did to Caroline was awful and nobody really told him off about it he even became best friends with her mother! Then he proceeds to do this with Andy Starr and admits that he was taught to do this by his mentor a female vampire by the name of Sage. He never apologises for these things. Others who come to mind are Klaus, Kol and Lucien however I can't confirm these so they are off the hook.

Elena Gilbert is either Toxic/narcissistic as hell. While at the beginning of the show, we see her as a mourning and afraid girl who is protective of her family which is not really who she is. She uses her friends to their own detriment not caring about the consequences until they really affect her. When she finds out about what Damon was doing to Caroline she scolded him briefly and moved on from the matter then after Caroline is changed she seems to completely forget why Caroline doesn't like Damon and even starts to treat him better than her friend. Another thing Bonnie Bennett has died countless times to protect and help Elena always at her own determent. When Bonnie dies she cries when she finds out it can kill Bonnie she cries but she does not learn from this at all, may I remind yall Bonnie's grams died doing something for ELENA. Then when it comes to not making enemies this girl just makes things worse for herself I mean yes Rebekah was the villain in her book but she had a chance to earn respect and Rebekah's trust what does this girl do stabs her in the back literally then pouts and cries when Rebekah runs her off of a bride when she in her infinite wisdom would not have been in that situation if she had left the woman alone. The situation with the cure as well pissed me off as they knew the consequences of killing an original and chose to kill Kol committing mass genocide and leaving Klaus with his brother's corpse. We all know they could have incapacitated him instead or like any wise person wait on Klaus. Elena is everyone's focus and they constantly sacrifice for her and she does not ever decide to do something smart about it to have a peaceful life. That bothers me.

Caroline and Bonnie Deserved Better. Let's start with our dear Bennett witch, Bonnie Shelia Bennett is a year younger than Elena and so far has died more times than anyone in the show. She never gets a happy ending at all Luka was not on her side and dies, Ben kidnaps her, Jeremy cheats on her and eventually dies, Kai is infatuated with her but tries to kill her, Kol and her would have been fun but it never came to pass and Enzo is killed by Stefan. In addition to it, all her family literally has bad luck with doppelgangers, Amara ran off with Qetsiyah's fiance, Katherine sold out Emily and got her burned at the stake and Elena was the reason Bonnie's mum lost her magic and became a vampire, Shelia died and Bonnie well you get my point. Everything was for Elena and Bonnie lost everything so many times. Now unto Caroline, she has been compelled, raped, taken advantage of, killed and turned without her consent, hated by her parents, and tortured by one of them. And before Klaus, she was of the opinion that every guy she was interested in preferred Elena. And sometimes Elena made things worse. She had a crush on Stefan he turned her down for the copy of his ex/rapist. She likes Matt that's cool and all but he still loves and will always choose Elena. He even looks to her for guidance/approval when it comes to his relationship with the blonde. And Tyler is an idiot who is situationally in love with caroline. The only man that really and truly wanted her honestly she could not be with cause he was Elena's enemy. And she only tells him on the condition he leaves town, not for her sake but everyone else's. When she finally gets Stefan he dies on the same day they get married. Caroline and Bonnie never get their happy-ending relationships because both of them lose the men they love every time. In addition, I would like to point out that they sacrificed so much and hardly got anything from it. Moving on from their love lives when someone turns off their humanity a lot of the things they say are honest to a point. I firmly believe a lot of the misery Elena put the both through without her humanity was the deeply buried thoughts the girl had. There is so much more I want to touch on but I'll leave these three points for now. Please note that I will be doing another relationship dive on TVD and the next show getting talked about will be either MLB, H2O just add water or Teen Wolf.

#the vampire diaries #elena gilbert #bonnie bennett #caroline forbes #klaroline #delena #stefan salvatore #katerina petrova #the orginals #rebekah mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #tvd damon #vampire diaries #TVD analysis

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fireemblems24 · 7 months

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Lol "the most important one's can sit down" is so far from Edelgard's actual perspective. Read her support with Linhardt, or the amount of support she shows Petra in achieving her goals in their support. Not to mention everything to do with Lysithea and attempting to facilitate her goals by taking care of the things she is unable to do so she can focus on her strengths. Or how she takes time out of her morning every single day to escort Bernadetta to class.

Then there's the whole equal opportunity consideration with the free schooling, an idea courtesy of Ferdinand that she is eager to consider and integrate.

All she does is try and facilitate the "weak" so through that support they become "strong" and can achieve their individual goals for the betterment of everyone.

"I intend to create a world where the best are free to rise to the top and succeed, regardless of their bloodline." Is not a statement about importance. Nobility has inherent importance due to bloodlines. If only the "important" could rise to the top and succeed it would create a feedback loop, lineages. The "best" refers specifically to those who excel in their field, and since they can come from any bloodline none of them were more important than any other.

For that to happen the world she needs to create a world that facilitates the opportunities of all people equally and equitably so the "best" can actually rise and succeed. She removes importance from the equation since it disadvantages those who could be great in favor of those who were born into great things. That's her entire point with Miklan. It's why she's removing the nobility.

It's those who think that bloodlines and certain deific blessings should determine who lives in the biggest castles and mansions that have ideas of "importance." Like, say, which families are important to preserve for the ongoing existence of their nation due to hereditary traits that just so happen to also keep them in positions of ultimate authority as the adjudicator for who gets listened to. And that we should all just "respect" those differences instead of empowering everyone.

Don't get Emperor "I can never be seen as weak because half of the Empire nobles are looking for an excuse to reinstate the power of the Slithers" Edelgard confused with the person she demonstrates herself to be through her words and actions to those in her care. To the extent she's accused of being a mother hen by Linhardt with how doting she is.

Bernadetta leaving her room in Crimson Flower isn't a mistake. Bernadetta wasn't "important" to Edelgard, she figured she would walk her path alone, hated by her Eagles, and still every day, the crown princess and most "important person" in Adrestia took the time to help Bernadetta find her confidence and work towards self-improvement. Something actively detrimental to herself if you think about how she believes they would oppose her. Something that goes double for Petra who she never forces to join her side.

She really seems like the kind of person to leave others in the lurch. Definitely the narrative the game was telling.

I'm gonna be real. I had no idea what you're talking about. You need to give me more context for that line.

Also, I've seen this all before and it's unconvincing.

There's a world of a difference between Edelgard's personal friends, who the vast majority of which also just happen to be Adrestian nobility, and Joe McJoe the (former) Faerghus farmer with a handicap son told his failure is because he lacked merit and not because war killed his other kids, destroyed his farmland, and etc . . .

It's one thing to get cozy with a noble's daughter and another to care about the common person, people she openly says she'll sacrifice and gives a big shrug when Shez says they will suffer the worst in war.

Do I think she's a heartless bitch? No. But I do think she's perfectly willing to leave people behind to starve and die in her war, and that her methodology will not help the ones who survived get back on their feet but blame them for any lack of success by lack of "merit."

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crypt-tids · 10 months

Text

A Gift Unto the King

Visitors

Aoife tightened the last of the laces on the back of Carmilla’s burgundy gown. The morning sun shimmered against the silky fabric, casting an ethereal, glowing halo around her. A golden circlet rested on her head, nearly hidden amongst her mop of curls. She smelled faintly of lavender flowers, and Aoife found herself overcome by the calming scent.

“Is that too tight, Your Highness?” Aoife finally asked, pulling herself out of her momentary daze.

“That’s quite fine, thank you.” Carmilla replied, her voice soft, but melancholic.

“Is something the matter, Your Highness?” Aoife spoke timidly, slowly moving to face the new queen, ensuring not to make eye contact with her.

“No.” She sighed. “Nothing that can be changed, anyways.”

“Well, if you need anything-” Aoife started, before Carmilla’s hand gently lifted her chin so their eyes would meet.

“You may look at me when you speak.” Carmilla spoke firmly, with a gentle smile.

Immediately, Aoife’s face flushed bright red as she watched Carmilla’s dark brown eyes study her. Within the glassy darkness of them existed an abyss of warmth that held an unfamiliarity to her. Never in her life had she ever felt so consumed by another person. To be in the presence of a creature so pure of spirit felt like being engulfed by a blinding light, glimmering across a sandy white beach. It was a feeling so overwhelming, she found it difficult to focus properly.

Carmilla giggled lightly, brushing a stray ginger ringlet out of Aoife’s face, which made her blush harder.

“My apologies, dear Aoife. You’ll get used to my energy with time.” Carmilla caressed the young woman’s face, kindly. “Humans can be such delicate things.”

Aoife nodded, her heart skipping a beat. The warmth of Carmilla’s gentle touch encapsulated her with an emotion she had never felt before, one she wasn’t sure she could even possibly understand, much less be able to explain.

Then, Carmilla’s smile faded as she brushed aside the fiery curls covering her neck, exposing the fresh bite scars that the king had left there. Delicate fingers traced over the slightly raised puncture marks, sending shivers down Aoife’s spine. Her memories of that night were heavily clouded, but the pain still rested vividly at the forefront of her mind.

“How did you come to possess such dreadful scars?” The light Carmilla had so generously shown before, now slowly fading into a distant memory, replaced by sadness and concern.

“The king had fallen ill, Your Majesty.” Aoife swallowed hard, her voice lined with a faint tremor. “I… I wanted to help.”

“You’re too generous for your own good.” Carmilla replied, her voice stern, but gentle, finally dropping her hand from Aoife’s neck, allowing the ginger ringlets to return to their natural resting place.

Aoife bit her lip nervously. She’d never seen generosity as a detriment, in any context, and she desperately needed to be helpful—to be useful. Above all else, she needed the validation of having some purpose in this world, even if it was solely to serve the needs of others. Something that would take away the stained history of her ancestry, to make some sort of amends for her own sake.

The king had never been anything but incredibly kind to her, and she never once felt unsafe with him. Though, deep in her soul, she couldn’t help but feel that his decision to assign her to Carmilla’s side was one clouded by his own guilt. A decision that would ensure their paths wouldn’t cross so frequently. Even though she’d never blamed him for what happened, she knew that forgiving him would never be enough to ease the guilt that ripped at his heart.

“I… I don’t believe that to be true, Your Highness.” Aoife finally spoke, with mild trepidation. “I think… I would rather give too much, than not at all.”

“Even if the cost of that gift was your own life?” Carmilla pried, raising an inquisitive brow.

Aoife swallowed hard, her hazel eyes breaking away from the queen’s.

“My life isn’t so valuable, Your Highness.”

Carmilla’s eyes widened as she found herself hopelessly staring down at the young, ginger haired woman. Aoife’s energy had shifted to a place no longer centered. There was a depth of darkness residing within her that Carmilla couldn’t quite place. It felt like a deep well of her own making, that she’d spent years dutifully covering with a wooden shield, but that shield had now fallen away.

“Why is it that you believe such a thing?” Carmilla lifted Aoife’s chin, holding it firmly in place so that she couldn’t hope to turn away.

Just as Aoife was about to open her mouth to speak, there was a knock at the door, quickly drawing the pair’s attention.

“Forgive the interruption, Your Majesty,” a man’s voice spoke from the other side of the door, “but King Kai’en and Queen Yanna of Elvenwood have arrived.”

“Thank you, please inform them I will be along shortly.” Carmilla replied, sighing as she returned her gaze to the young maid. “We’ll table this conversation for now, but do not think that I will forget it.”

Aoife nodded, as Carmilla gave her hand a light squeeze. Gently, the queen’s fingers trailed against the back of her hand as she released it, sending soft shivers up her arm. She gave Aoife a kind smile, before exiting the room, leaving the young woman standing alone in her chambers.

The ride had been nothing short of tedious and Lucas found his ass aching something fierce. His entire body was sore and tired, and the warmth of the midday sun seemed to only exacerbate his exhaustion. Remus, on the other hand, seemed to be taking their journey in a much stronger stride.

“How’re you holding up?” Remus asked with a grin.

“Could use a snack, if I’m being honest.” Lucas sighed, as his stomach promptly reminded him of the ever growing hunger pangs.

“Don’t you have some jerky left?”

“No,” Lucas pouted, “I ate the last of it this morning.” Slowly, he pulled his gaze over to his companion, giving him his best puppy dog eyes—something years of turning into a dog beast had made him surprisingly good at. “Maybe you could-”

“Nope.” Remus cut him off. “I only have one piece left, it’s not my fault you didn’t pack enough.”

Lucas sighed. Even having packed everything he had in the house, he had severely underestimated the depth of his appetite. That, coupled with the unexpectedly long mission, forced him to ration a lot more than he would’ve liked. But, all things considered, he’d done well to make it this far, with only a few hours left until they reached the city. Still, the rumbling growl of his stomach was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable.

Noticing the twist of Lucas’s face and the faint grumble emanating from him, Remus sighed and dropped his shoulders.

“We’ll be coming up on Riverbend soon, someone there might have a bit of food we can buy off of them.”

“Thanks.” Lucas nodded, a tinge of guilt in his voice.

Remus nodded back, reaching into the pouch on his saddlebag and pulling out a small slab of jerky, messily wrapped in some waxed cloth.

“Here.” Remus said, tossing the package to Lucas.

“Are you sure?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You need it more than I do.”

“It’s not like I’m gonna die if I don’t eat right now.” Lucas said, just as his stomach let out another gurgling growl, certainly loud enough for Remus to hear, and probably anyone within a one mile radius.

Remus let out a small snicker as Lucas’s face flushed hot with embarrassment.

“Just eat it so I don’t have to listen to your stomach growl all the way to Riverbend.”

Lucas unwrapped the waxed cloth, and pulled the salt cured meat from it, taking a bite. The salt was bitter on his tongue, but it was a flavor he’d grown accustomed to over the years. He’d much prefer to eat something a bit fresher—two weeks was a long time to go with your main source of sustenance being jerky—but, anything to quell the rumbling in his stomach was certainly good enough for him at the moment.

Shortly after polishing off that last of his generously gifted snack, they came to the edge of the forest, opening into a vast expanse of rolling farmland, littered with modest cottages. Golden sun shimmered across the green pastures and wheat fields, the gentle breeze washing over them in soothing waves. Small herds of sheep graciously grazed upon the luscious grass, their soft baas adding to the calming chirps of the birds nesting in the trees. A small creek babbled through the middle of the quaint farming village, connecting to a slightly larger river, softly curving around its outer edge.

As Lucas was about to tug his horse’s reins towards the town, Remus stopped him. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of something odd, and upon further inspection, he was able to discern with moderate certainty—and ample confusion—what it was he was seeing.

“What is it?” Lucas asked, no yet seeing what Remus had.

“Shh-” Remus raised a finger to his lips, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Get off of your horse.”

Lucas did as he was told, as gently as he could manage, a crept around the front of Epona, still tightly clinging to her reins. His eyes scanned the village, before settling on a small cottage, not far from their position, and three men in Honterran attire, rapidly approaching it. Squinting his eyes, he watched as the men knocked on the door. The door slowly creaked open, and a dark haired man popped his head out, gave the outside world a quick glance over, before hurriedly rushing the Honterran soldiers inside, firmly shutting the door behind them.

“What the fuck are Honterrans doing here?” Lucas asked, giving his companion a wary look.

“More importantly, why did it seem like they weren’t exactly unexpected guests?” Remus added.

“We could go ask.” Lucas smirked, playfully.

“Something tells me they might have a few more questions for you than we do for them, if I’m being honest.” Remus replied, unamused.

Lucas pressed his lips together, the playful spark quickly fading from his face. Thanks to Remus, he’d now become unequivocally aware of how bloody useless he really was. Even being faced with the unique opportunity to capture Honterran soldiers, to finally have an insight into the goings on of Castle Honterra, his pregnancy forced him to stand aside and let them go. Remus didn’t seem quite as bothered by that fact as Lucas was, but even if he had been, he probably wouldn’t let on to it for Lucas’s sake.

“We’ll wait until those bastards clear out of town.” Remus finished, snapping Lucas away from his thoughts.

“Mm-” Lucas nodded, giving Epona a couple of gentle pets on the neck. “Hopefully, whatever business they’re up to doesn’t take too long.” He grumbled.

“Still thinking about food?” Remus asked with a wry smile.

“You try growing a person.”

“Fair enough.” Remus laughed through his nose.

Together, they quietly waited, each keeping careful watch over the cottage. Eventually, Lucas grew weary of standing, and decided to take a quick rest on the dirt path. His back felt stiff and achy, so he leaned back to lay flat on the ground, letting out a sigh, as relief washed over his body.

Remus gave him a quick glance, noting the gentle swell of his belly slightly protruding from his otherwise built physique. Lucas’s hands came to rest on the bump, as the corners of his lips upturned into a small smile. In that moment, Lucas looked completely at peace, with a calm, glowing aura extending outward in a sort of intoxicating happiness Remus had never recalled seeing before. In all the years he’d known Lucas, he’d never seen the man this filled with unadulterated joy. The anxiety of it all had clouded his true feelings so heavily, that no one would ever know what truly rested in his soul. But now, with Remus, there was no need to hide. He could just be happy, despite the inevitable hardships, and rising tensions of the world. Within him grew something so precious, and new, and so immensely loved, that Remus felt somehow unworthy of witnessing it.

Lucas peeked an eye up at his friend, catching him with a softened stare.

“What?” Lucas smiled, his brows slightly upturned.

Remus smiled back, shaking his head.

“Nothing.” He returned his gaze to the small cottage, keeping a watchful eye over it, while Lucas rested.

Vin hurried into the courtyard, hastily tugging at the collar of his shirt. He’d been dreading this day from the moment Carmilla stepped foot onto the palace grounds, but still, it was an inevitability he certainly couldn’t stall any longer, no matter how much he wished to.

“Please excuse my delayed arrival. I had a few matters to attend to.” Vin bowed towards the elven royals, which they rigidly returned.

“Punctuality is a valued trait amongst royals.” Kai'en’s voice was flat and cutting in a way that made Vin cringe.

Yanna cleared her throat, gently nudging her husband’s side, giving him a sturdy glare.

“Excuse my husband, it’s been a long journey.” Yanna attempted to smooth out the tension still radiating from the elven king at her side.

It was becoming increasingly clearer to Vin that no party in the courtyard was thrilled to be there, least of all, Carmilla, who made sure to keep as much distance between herself and her parents as was reasonably acceptable. There was a tinge of embarrassment on her face, or perhaps it was just a general unease. Vin wasn’t quite sure how to interpret it. Either way, she looked less than okay with anything happening at the moment.

“Your home is quite lovely.” Yanna continued, breaking the awkward silence. “And Valkevilla has such charm.”

“Thank you,” Vin nodded, “my father took great pride in Valkevilla, and this castle was no exception.” He smiled, pleasantly consumed for a moment by memories of his father, before snapping himself back to his current company.

Yanna returned a smile that seemed a bit more forced than she’d intended to let on, however, Kai’en’s face seemed to be stuck in a perpetual scowl, his body emanating an arrogance that Yanna felt obligated to overcompensate for. Vin swiftly deduced that the queen may have been the more diplomatic of the two, as Kai'en appeared to carry his emotions quite unapologetically. Even though Vin appreciated the queen’s efforts, the transparency of them left him feeling more hollow than if she hadn’t tried at all.

“Father, I believe you and King Vincent have some matters to discuss, no?” Carmilla finally piped up, hoping to nudge this unpleasantly tense visit along.

“Yes, my dear, I believe you’re right.” Kai'en smiled at his daughter briefly, before returning his gaze to Vin. “Shall we, then?”

“Of course.” Vin nodded. “Please, follow me.”

With that, the kings wandered off towards the Solar, leaving their queens in the courtyard. Yanna let out an exasperated sigh, the tension finally leaving her body. She turned to her daughter and shook her head, giving her a half-hearted smile.

“I love your father, but his bedside manner is absolutely atrocious.” She laughed.

“I swear, you could cut the tension with a knife.” Carmilla replied, not finding as much humor in it as her mother had. It certainly seemed that her father had no interest in hiding his distaste for Valkevilla’s monarchy, which left Carmilla incredibly uneasy.

Yanna turned her body to face her daughter, grabbing her hands lightly. She gave her a quick study, and smiled warmly.

“I’ve missed you so much, darling.” She reached up to brush a stray coil aside. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.”

“I haven’t been gone long enough for you to forget what I look like.” Carmilla replied, flatly.

“Then forgive an old woman and her failing memory.” Yanna giggled. “Now-” She looped her arm around Carmilla’s, “why don’t you show me around the castle, hm?”

Vin and Kai'en stood on opposite sides of the solid wooden table, staring down at the old map draped across it. Chess pieces were scattered about at various points in the areas marked ‘Valkevilla’ and ‘Honterra’. Pawns lined the northern border, knights and bishops firmly stationed in various Valkevillan villages. The king pieces rested upon their respective castles, the dark mirroring the light.

“I’ve already sent some of my soldiers to the surrounding towns and villages for extra protection. The outskirts have evacuation orders, of course, but it’s a slow path. And we don’t have nearly enough ships to accommodate the amount of people we need to move, and there are no guarantees that our allied nations will have enough resources to support them until the war ends.” Vin stated with an exasperated sigh.

“In that case, it’s very likely that Castle Valkevilla will have to become the stronghold for your people.” Kai'en said, stroking his chin, eyes fixed on the map.

Vin shook his head, pressing his lips together in disapproval.

“I doubt they’ll be any safer here.” Vin countered. “King Wilfred won’t rest until this castle falls, that much I can be sure of. Bringing them here would only put them in harm’s way.”

“Your people are already in harm’s way.” Kai'en replied, leaning over to point at the drawing of Castle Valkevilla on the map. “Look here,” he let out a light groan, “the castle is far enough south that Honterran soldiers should never be able to even make it to the city walls. Provided, your soldiers are adequately stationed, of course.” He quickly added. “And even if they did, the castle is the most fortified building in Valkevilla. All you have to do is lock the doors.”

Vin nodded, his brows furrowing slightly as he contemplated what the older man had said. It was a fair assessment, even if the thought made him uneasy. Castle Valkevilla was built closer to the sea, putting a sizable distance between it and Honterra’s borders, and its walls were heavily reinforced. And with Honterra being a slightly smaller country, it was certainly possible that none of its soldiers would make it far enough into Valkevilla to even see the castle, much less initiate an attack on it. Still, it was a heavy risk he wasn’t quite settled on taking.

“I’ll use the castle as a last resort,” Vin sighed, “but I still want as many people out of Valkevilla as possible.”

Kai’en nodded, huffing through his nose, his finger frustratedly tapping the wooden table.

“Very well.” He grumbled. “How is recruitment going?”

“As well as I could expect. We’ve nearly tripled our numbers, however, most of them are farmers and fishermen. It’ll take a lot of effort to prepare them for battle in such a short period of time, and with most of my best soldiers on missions, our training resources are limited.” Vin leaned against the table, clenching his jaw, the frustration of his current predicament weighing heavily on his shoulders.

“Training won’t be an issue.” Kai’en crossed his arms assertively. “Elvenwood has plenty of proficient warriors. I will send orders to my best men upon my return.” He continued. “And from what I’ve seen, your weapons and armor stores are incredibly insufficient, so I’ll be sure to send along what I can spare.”

The elven king’s condescending tone made Vin wince, however, Kai'en wasn’t incorrect in his analysis, so he chose to let it go, instead nodding, choosing to be grateful for the help.

“Now, Honterra isn’t a large kingdom, but it does span quite a decent length across the entirety of your northern border, and about half of mine.” Kai'en leaned over, running his finger along the bold line indicating their countries’ borders. “Our best course of action would be to heavily guard the full length of the northern border.”

“Correct,” Vin agreed, “and with it being mostly woodlands to the north, our soldiers should have plenty of cover. However,” He bobbed his head to the side, “on the off chance that they come to a similar conclusion as us, they may attempt an attack by sea. Honterra does have one decently sized port, and that would give them access to our western,” Vin pointed to Valkevilla’s western port, before sliding his finger downwards, “and our southern borders.” He lightly tapped the image of Castle Valkevilla. “Which would then put the castle at greater risk, as well as leave a large opening into Elvenwood.”

“It certainly does pose a lot of open ground to cover.” Kai'en sighed, crossing his arms tightly.

“I’m open to any suggestions. I doubt we’ll have the man-power to cover the full length of both of our country’s borders.” Vin anxiously tapped his finger on the table.

“There is one option, but I doubt you’ll like it.”

“Try me.” Vin lifted his gaze, staring up at the elven king.

“Instead of defense,” Kai’en waved his hand as he mused for a moment, “you launch the first attack.”

Vin snapped up, eyes wide, with eyebrows scrunched. His body immediately tensed at the notion, and he felt his beaten heart skip in a way that made him instantly nauseous.

“That would be insane. It would be suicide.” Vin retorted.

“It’s a risk.” Kai'en admitted. “However, Castle Honterra is only a short distance from the border. Our men would have far less terrain to traverse than they’d have coming here, which already gives us an advantage.”

“You’re suggesting we storm an enemy castle that we have absolutely no functional knowledge of.” Vin’s crimson eyes bored into the elf’s. “For all we know, Wilfred could have the place armed to the teeth, and we’d be completely in the dark.” His voice was harsh around the edges, but he did his best to hide it. Though, the rigidity of his body seemed to betray his bluff.

“I thought your kind was used to the dark.” Kai'en smirked, staring down at the vampire.

Vin clenched his jaw, which Kai'en noticed, and took a silent pride in. It almost felt as if the elf had been itching to insult him, and finally found an opportunity. The way Kai’en had carried himself was nothing short of the most despicable display of cock measuring Vin had ever had the misfortune of witnessing. But, as much as Vin wanted to rip him apart, he wouldn’t let himself. Not when so much was at stake.

“Unless you can provide me explicit information on the layout and inner workings of Castle Honterra, it’s off the table.” Vin growled through clenched teeth, trying to calm himself for the sake of diplomacy.

“Whether I can or can’t isn’t much up for debate, is it?”

“What are you getting at?” Vin asked, beyond unamused, and very much looking forward to the point at which this unbearable encounter would end.

“If you want to win this war, you’ll have to be more aggressive with your tactics. A king sitting on his ass, waiting for someone else to make the first move, isn’t a king worth following.” Kai'en turned his back, and paced over to the window. “This entire kingdom was a gift from your father. A heavy gift, but a gift nonetheless, and if you do not have the strength to do what is necessary to protect it, then I will not allow my men to die for your cause.”

Vin’s body went rigid, rage building in his chest. Unconsciously, his fist clenched, hard enough for his long nails to leave marks on his palm.

“I will not send my men into a battle they will lose.” Vin’s heart pounded in his ears as he tried to control the angered tremor in his voice.

“Then you will lose everything!” Kai'en shot back, swiveling to meet Vin’s frustrated gaze. Taking a moment to readjust his coat, he calmed his tone. “In war, you will win, and you will lose. Be it land or men, you will be faced with those losses. The best course of action is to minimize what is lost.”

Vin shakily exhaled through his nose, directing his attention back towards the map, where he found himself blankly staring at the chess pieces, his eyes finally fixating on the white knight. His knight—Lucas. He’d desperately tried to avoid unnecessary conflict, the lives of his people depended on that right now. However, the day was rapidly approaching that avoiding conflict would no longer be an option. People were already going missing. People were already dying. How long would those people, who had lost so much, be willing to wait for Vin’s orders? Even though he too was one of those people, the thought of more being taken from him gripped tightly around his stomach to the point of near perpetual illness. It put a fear in his heart that he’d never felt before. What if one of those losses was Lucas? How valuable could winning this war truly be to him if that was the price he’d have to pay to do it?

“Minimize the loss...” Vin whispered to himself, trailing away into his thoughts.

“It’s the only way.” Kai'en continued, flatly, seemingly ignoring the young vampire’s absence.

Minimize the loss.

Carmilla and Yanna walked amongst the carefully manicured gardens surrounding the grounds. With the season soon coming to an end, many of the plants had already begun setting seed to carry on into the new year. The last of the vibrant blooms would become a distant memory before too long, save, of course, for the healer’s garden, enchanted with magic to grow year round.

“The gardens are quite lovely.” Yanna spoke, drawing a deep breath of the floral air. “The rest of it isn’t much, but I’m sure you can fix it in time.” She affectionately shook Carmilla’s arm.

“What’s wrong with it?” Carmilla asked, studying her mother’s expression closely.

“Well,” she started, taking a quick glance around, “it’s just a bit… rigid.” She tapped her chin lightly, trying to think of a way to properly phrase her statement in a way that wasn’t outright insulting. “Trying to exist in a place like this, so disconnected from what you’re used to, I fear it may be a bit draining for you.”

Carmilla pressed her lips together, turning away from her mother. It was odd, she thought, that her opinion of Valkevilla could change so much in such a short period of time. The shock of being somewhere unfamiliar was always taxing, however, Castle Valkevilla welcomed her with open arms—even if those arms were hesitant at first. Sure, there weren’t shimmering waterfalls, or elegant archways carved of fine marble, adorned with thriving ivy vines, but Valkevilla was her home now, and she’d embraced it, with all of its individuality.

“I don’t think I’d like to change it.” She finally spoke, her voice light, but confident.

“But it’s so… cold.” Yanna expressed, her brows furrowed slightly. “Surely a place like this could never feel like home.” She firmly pressed her lips together, scrunching her face with mild disgust, as she glanced at the castle’s architecture.

“You only believe that because it isn’t your home.” Carmilla corrected her.

“It isn’t really yours either.” Yanna frowned.

“Isn’t it?” Carmilla returned, calmly, facing her mother with darkened eyes. “Father sent me here to lay claim to Valkevilla, did he not?”

“Well-”

“Did he not?” The young queen pressed.

Yanna sighed, turning her gaze away from her daughter.

“That was his main motivation, yes.” Yanna finally replied, lightly brushing her fingers along a peony bush, gently caressing one of its pale yellow flowers.

Carmilla huffed through her nose, tightly clasping her hands in front of her, eyes following a fluttering butterfly as it leaped from flower to flower. Sunlight glittered off of its vibrant yellow wings into a glowing halo, perfectly encapsulating it in the genuine beauty of existence. Slowly, she extended her hand towards the insect, channeling a calming energy through it, silently beckoning it to her. After a moment, the butterfly lifted away from the flower and flitted to her outstretched hand, softly landing on her fingers. Gently, she pulled the butterfly closer, giving it half a smile.

“I know father only sees Valkevilla as a place to reclaim in the name of the elves that have long since fallen in its name, but he needs to accept that this land is no longer ours. And even if Valkevilla falls in this war, I will not rebuild it to honor the elves, but to honor the curse-borns, and humans, that call this land home.” Carmilla gently placed the butterfly onto a flower. “So many centuries have passed, that even the eldest of us do not remember the world before. But there are people alive here, now, that remember this as their home. I’m here to protect that for their sake, as that is the duty of the queen.”

Then, Yanna said something Carmilla hadn’t expected. Words she’d never heard come from the mouths of either her mother, or her father. Words she’d desperately longed to hear, but had accepted that she never would.

“I’m proud of you.” Yanna smiled kindly, brushing her fingers through Carmilla’s curls. Her daughter had grown so much, had accepted every challenge with stride, and was now growing into something new and unexpected. Carmilla’s aura had changed, as though she was no longer hiding behind a façade, but instead, had embraced herself and her opinions as something to be valued. Something to stand for.

Carmilla’s gaze shot up, staring wide-eyed into her mother’s golden brown eyes. A gentle breeze lightly blew through Yanna’s long, curly hair, as time seemed to stand still. Carmilla wasn’t sure she’d heard it correctly at first, but her mother’s smile held as a firm confirmation. Slowly, Yanna moved her hand to caress her daughter’s slightly flushed cheek.

“Never lose that spark in your soul.” Yanna’s expression warmed. “Valkevilla needs it, and so will your children.”

Carmilla swallowed hard, eyes fluttering as she fought against her emotions, tears threatening to spill. Yanna giggled softly, as she noticed her daughter’s chin beginning to quiver.

“Oh darling,” she spoke in a motherly tone Carmilla could only recall from her childhood, “already such a mess.” She brushed a stray tear aside. “You always felt things so deeply, but you kept those feelings locked away for so long. Perhaps your father and I are to blame for that.” Yanna’s tone fell.

Carmilla sighed, and bit her lower lip.

“I spent my entire life doing as I was told, just to make you and father proud. So that I could be seen as something more than just a princess.” Carmilla paused briefly to collect herself. “My brothers never had to try so hard, so why did I?” She asked, her voice cracking at the end, but still holding together.

Yanna shook her head, and pulled her daughter into a tight embrace, softly stroking the back of her head. Carmilla hesitated for a moment, then wrapped her arms around her mother.

“I know it wasn’t fair to you.” Yanna sighed. “And sometimes parents make mistakes, and we don’t understand the gravity of them until the consequences of them manifest. But, despite it all, you’ve managed to come out of it alright.” She pulled away, still tightly gripping Carmilla’s arms, giving her a playful smile. “And being married to a king isn’t so bad, eh?”

“We will not be marrying.” Carmilla corrected, her voice still slightly uneven, which took Yanna by surprise.

“I’m sorry?” Her smile began to fade, as her brows furrowed with confusion.

“We’ve decided not to wed.”

“I don’t understand…” Her eyes darted back and forth as she attempted to process this new information. “The foundation of our agreement is based on your union. Without it, how will-”

“Our agreement was based upon an heir, not a marriage.” Carmilla cut Yanna off.

“This is a risky political move, you understand? Elvenwood could lose everything.” Yanna pressed, her tone serious, and saturated with worry and disapproval.

“At this point, I am Elvenwood’s only investment and I have deemed this to be the more favorable option.” Carmilla spoke firmly, regaining her confidence. “This was a decision the king and I came to together, and I’d appreciate your support, however, I do not require it.”

“Are you sure you trust King Vincent enough to risk Elvenwood’s position in this agreement?”

“Father trusted him enough to place me in his care. He trusted him enough to impregnate me.” Carmilla glared at her mother, who’s face had now fallen into shock. “So, now I must ask, if King Vincent is so untrustworthy, how little does father care for me?

Remus lightly kicked Lucas’s foot, waking him from his unplanned doze. He yawned, and pushed himself up onto his elbow, taking a quick glance around. Judging by the sun, not much time had passed, however, Lucas seemed to certainly make the most of that time by sleeping incredibly hard.

“Honterrans are leaving.” Remus said flatly, his voice low as to not alert the enemy soldiers to their presence.

Remus extended a hand to help Lucas up, which Lucas graciously took, even if he felt a bit embarrassed by Remus’s coddling. Once on his feet, he brushed the dirt from his clothes, and stretched his back.

The Honterran soldiers had nearly made it to the edge of the town by the time Lucas had gotten a good look at them. Remus kept a close eye on them, waiting for them to disappear over the hill. As soon as they vanished from sight, Remus grabbed the reins on his horse, and began tugging him down the path towards the village.

“Why don’t we go say hi?”

Lucas nodded, grabbed Epona’s reins, and followed Remus down the hill.

#a gift unto the king #knight au #mpreg #male pregnancy #belly kink #werewolf #oc #vampire #elf #tum kink

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grasshopperdoingdogpaddle · 1 year

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As much as I love "Tangled Web" because it shows Kimiko winning her solo showdown and generally kicking ass, I can't sit all the way through it because that episode drives me up a wall. Even when I was a kid I hated the way the boys' sexism towards her essentially goes unchallenged and unpunished, but as an adult it makes me *more* heated because Master Fung is RIGHT THERE. Why are you allowing 3/4 of your team to belittle and deride your only female student right in front of you?! Not even mildly scolding them! And then to turn around and give *Kimiko* a lesson like *her reaction* to being mocked *to her face* on the basis of her gender is the problem!! I understand the point of the episode was that Kimiko needs to work on self-controlband maintaining her focus, I just think there are so much better ways they could have gone about itm

Absolutely one of the several moments that really makes me disdain Master Fung's teaching abilities.

Temperance may be important, but temperance is not the same thing as "letting disrespect fly" or "never reacting to anything".

The boys were walking out with her things, and the only one Fung deigns to lecture is Kimiko for getting rightfully angry about it, even when Kimiko calls to Master Fung for some help.

Digging through Kimiko's personal belongings, looking through her PDA, reading her diary. And Omi is sucking on her tube of lipstick like a baby bottle, parent him for once-- and that doesn't mean giving him that outdated book.

If Fung wants to give Kimiko artificial distractions for her exercise, he should, but he should get up and give those boys a talking to first and foremost. There's no foundation for any team without boundaries and privacy.

Master Fung!

Keep pouring.

If Master Fung was going to lecture anyone here, he should have lectured the boys. They're supposed to work as a team, and their actions right now are hugely detrimental to that, which is theoretically a more overarching lesson Fung wants them to learn.

She's being mocked and belittled and prodded as soon as Rai picks up that this is an exercise in patience for Kimiko where Fung has more-or-less barred her from reacting to "distractions".

If Fung wants to give Kimiko artificial distractions for her exercise, he should. But he should get up and give those boys a talking to first. There's no foundation for any team without boundaries and privacy.

And the way he just shakes his head in disappointment at Kimiko and walks away, when there's so much he could have said if this was apparently supposed to be a teaching moment.

Wanna bet chores on when Kimiko will find her focus? This century or next?

Not even a disapproving Fung-stare at any of the mockery that's thrown her way. He'll make his disapproval clear when Omi does something like try to trust Jack or try to set boundaries after he can't trust Rai anymore, but this whole sexist things the boys put Kimiko through goes unchallenged by him.

She does eventually figure out the part of it that she needs to.

And Kimiko and Master Fung have a surprisingly interesting character arc as a sort of foils to each other, and there's something almost sweet about contrasting this first lesson Fung gives Kimiko to the lessons later, where he makes an active effort to offer her more emotional support and be more aware of how much she needs to let it out.

In regards to Kimiko specifically, he does try to be better after this... in regards to the hands-off approach of teaching her to just suppress her emotions and never react to anything and try desperately to be perfect. They're two characters that ended up playing off each other surprisingly well, narratively.

But despite all that, at no point does Master Fung ever address the sexism here or otherwise. In the context of the fact that he tries to be better for her over time, that is a pretty glaring hole that he just... overlooks. The three boys on her team were being sexist towards her, and Fung's stoicism was not appropriate for that at all.

#Xiaolin Showdown #Kimiko Tohomiko #Master Fung #Raimundo Pedrosa #Clay Bailey #Omi #long post

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variety-fangirl · 1 year

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Part 2 Till you high is gone??? However you gotta do it cause I loved it! Everything Angst is my favourite form of therapy

Till Your High is Gone / Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Part 1 here

Summary: You can't seem to stay away from each other, no matter how much it breaks your heart or how much Rafe will hate himself in the morning for seeking you once again. You have finally had enough of being used without return, letting Rafe that this would be the last time.

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS SHOO Rafe, need I say more? 😂 ANGST, mentions of alcohol, brief mentions of smut, toxic and manipulative relationship, the reader being in love with Rafe, let me know if I missed anything.

Author's note: I was only going to do it as a one-off but because you asked so nicely and requested, I just had to 😭 thank you! I hope you like it my lovely, I love that angst is a form of therapy for you! ❤ happy I could help 😁 enjoy. Liking, reblogging, and commenting really help me out. Thank you!

Word count: 1.4k

Like clockwork, you were back, at another kook party two weeks later. You hoped Rafe wouldn't be there but you knew he always would, he never missed the chance to get high or drunk with his "friends". There was a deep logical part of you that knew he was no good for you and seeing him would only result in you in his bed by the end of the night, and yet the stronger lovelorn part of you just couldn't stay away from him. Always finding a way to unintentionally seek him out, even in a crowded room.

Rafe was injurious in the way he thought and acted, never seeming to care about the person he was harming or how his actions may affect them. He did as he pleased with no remorse for what that could mean for those around him. He was on a destructive path, full of detrimental impacts for those close. And yet, you would have basked in the baneful fire that is Rafe Cameron if he asked you to. The only person to ever fully love and accept him for who he was and he didn't want you, just the warm comfort your body provided on a lonely drunken night. But you knew you needed to stop, to distance yourself and get away from the inferno that is Rafe. It was eating you alive and you couldn't handle it anymore.

You watch from the sidelines as Rafe entered the house, a look of determined chaos on his beautiful face. Despite having drunk plenty since arriving an hour ago, your mouth was suddenly dry. You down the remaining familiar red liquid and make your way back to the kitchen for another, desperately in need to focus on something, anything, other than the irresistibly cruel man who holds the key to your heart. You hear the calls of his name from drunken teenagers, ready to party with the king of the kooks himself. You sigh, determined to avoid Rafe as much as possible. Although, you were sure that would be a difficult task.

His mere presence was always impossible to ignore, he commanded the room's attention by simply walking in. His model-like features, the confident aura that surrounded him, and his reputation were enough to make any guy envious and all the women fawn over him. Rafe lived for the fear and want he struck into people, he loved being the person everyone wanted to be or to be with. Not all loved him though, many wanted him gone or dead. Hating that just because of his family's influence over people, he could do and say whatever he wanted without consequence.

Avoiding Rafe had been much harder than planned, he seemed to be everywhere at once. Every corner you turned, every group you passed by, every person you almost bumped into, he was there. And yet, no matter how hard of an effort you put in, he ended up right by your side at the end of the night. You didn't know how he always managed to find you, somehow always knowing you were there and where you would be. You were walking out of the bathroom when you caught sight of Rafe's intimidating body standing in front of you, blocking your exit. You sigh as he pushes you back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him and leaning against the wood with crossed arms.

You gulp as you note how his muscles strain against the sleeves of his shirt, a simple white button-down with three buttons undone. You could already feel the wetness pool between your thighs and your heart ached with despair, your efforts have been for nothing. You watch as Rafe pushes off the door, slowly moving toward you. You try your luck at escaping, your hand reaching and unlocking the door but not getting out. Rafe slammed the door shut, holding it firmly closed with his palm. Your forehead rest against the cool wood of the door, your breath shaky with nerve and anticipation of what he would do now he had you trapped.

You were caged in like prey, waiting with fear for when the predator would snap. You gasped as Rafe pressed his cock against your ass, grinding slowly with intent. You could feel his warm alcohol-tainted breath fan against the back of your neck as his lips whispered in your ear breathily, small goosebumps forming. "C'mon baby, trying to leave me?" your body betrayed what your mind was screaming at you to do: leave. Rafe's hand gently wrapped around your waist, turning you to face him. You sighed and slowly turned, your faces mere inches apart. So close your lips almost touched and your breaths mixed into one.

"I've been looking for you, have you been hiding from me?" his tone was teasing as he whispered and yet his eyes were dangerous, a glint of something terrifying hiding in the painful beauty of his blue eyes. His hand moves to wrap around the back of your neck as his lips attach to your neck, the warm and sensual feeling of his focused lips working against your sweet spot the way he knows you love. Your head lulls backwards against the door as your eyes close, his fingers run down your side gently before reaching your ass. You gasp as his fingers dig into the clothed flesh of your ass, pushing your crotch into his so he can grind his cock into your already wet pussy.

"Come home with me beautiful, I know you want me as much as I want you." You shake your head no, knowing you shouldn't go and how much you would regret it in the morning when you awoke. "Please, I missed you." He whispers breathlessly, his lips travelling up the skin of your neck to your mouth, his lips attaching to yours with so much need and passion that you would have collapsed to the ground had it not been for Rafe for holding you up. He pulls back to stare into your eyes, his forehead leaning against yours as his eyes silently beg you. "Please, baby. I need you." You close your eyes, knowing you were done for and nodded, agreeing to go with him.

"This will be the last time this happens between us though, okay?" You say as he grabs your hand to lead you out of the house to his car, he turns to face you and nods. You knew from the look in his eyes that he didn't believe you, probably because every time you slept together was meant to be the 'last time'. But what he didn't understand was this was going to be the last time ever between you because at home you had your belongings packed up and ready to go. Because deep down you knew that unless you were far away from Rafe's vicinity that you wouldn't be able to stay away or resist him. You were a drug to one another, one that always found a way to tempt and pull the other in.

Even as you lay on top of Rafe with his cock thrusting deeply into your soaked pussy, moaning loudly in pure ecstasy, your face held so closely to his as if he were afraid that you would leave. Even as Rafe whispered sweet nothings into your ear about how good you felt around him and no one else would compare to you, because you were it for him. Even as tears poured down your face in a mix of pleasure from how good Rafe felt buried deep inside you and pain because you would never feel this again after tonight, he still didn't realise or think this was actually the last time he would ever get to touch you or fuck you.

Even as you got up in the morning way before Rafe would and left without a single word or another look at his peacefully sleeping figure. Walking out of the house into the warm air gently blowing against your skin and the sun just starting to rise, bittersweet tears flowing freely down your cheeks. Even days later when Rafe heard about how you had left and weren't coming back, having moved hundreds of miles away with your family to start a better life for yourself, he still didn't believe it. He couldn't. Rafe wouldn't believe that the only person he needed as a release had actually left him for good, had actually meant what they said before beautifully fucking him for the last time with so much passion and emotion. Because if he did, he wouldn't be able to go on without you.

#y/n #angst #rafe cameron x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #outer banks

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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 1 year

Text

Anything? Anything.

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,451 Words

Summary: Eclipse takes Monty’s fake deal, to Lunar’s detriment.

Warnings: Near Death Experiences, Pain, Injury, Eye Trauma, Blindness, Mild Gore, Violence, Paralysis, Blood (in the form of oil), Abuse, Abandonment, let me know if I should add anything else.

Chapter 1: Kill Lunar

It began with a deal.

"Anything?"

"Yes, anything."

"Kill Lunar." It was stock still in Lunar's head, but he knew Eclipse had grabbed him, the ringing in his ears drowning out anything that may come until he heard-

"Be here within an hour." Eclipse demanded of Monty. Monty didn't seem to know what to say but, eventually he began fighting once Lunar was in a tube and strapped to a chair. The machine turned on with a soft ping as it tightened the straps to his body and made sure he couldn't wriggle free.

"Deactivate Moon." The machine made its directive clear.

"Eclipse?" Lunar asked him but the orange bot looked away.

"I'm sorry, Lunar. It must be done for the star." Eclipse told him.

"Wait!" Monty tried in vain but Eclipse had already left as the machine descended.

"Monty?" Lunar asked as the pincers descended first.

"Fuck, kid! It's gonna be okay, just breathe. I'm coming just-" Monty tried. But the pincers latched onto his eyes and a sudden yank had them leaving his faceplate with a piercing scream.

"Focus on me, Lunar. Focus on my voice. You're gonna be okay. Fuck, I'm so sorry!" Monty fumbled out for him but Lunar felt the machine grab at his knee and tear it out of place with a scream. "Breathe, Lunar, breathe!" Monty urged him but the machine yanked his other knee joint out of place with a sob.

His elbow joints getting yanked out of place only earned sobs and hiccups as he couldn't scream anymore. He couldn't even find it in himself to feel anything more than exhaustion. How long had this been going on now? Why wasn't Monty coming? Why did Eclipse leave? Wasn't Eclipse supposed to love him!

The machine opened his chest plate and he felt one of the pincers inside the wiring, rooting around for something, probably Moon's personality chip and Lunar's by proxy. It was going to kill them after leaving them entirely vulnerable.

"Moony, I'm sorry!" Lunar sobbed out, readying for the chip to be broken soon. But then he felt the machine suddenly crush him instead. His faceplace was cracked and his engines were cracked, a vessel for oil broken and leaking into them, making it almost impossible to breathe.

He couldn't feel anything in the endo from the waist down. It had been too close to his spine. The arm rooting inside him for the chip had shoved through their spine and through the table. Lunar was shivering, it felt cold now. Everything felt cold now.

"Oh my god." Monty cut the call but sounded close and Lunar let out a keening whimper to get him to help, sounding more like a wounded animal than an animatronic likely. "Kid, I'm so sorry." Monty told him as he came to hold his faceplate and Lunar weakly leaned into it.

"I'm cold." Lunar whispered.

"I know, I'm gonna...I'm gonna help. I have to get this thin outta you. It fucking broke!?" Monty growled at the machine as Lunar felt the weight leave and the arm get carefully taken out through his back.

"No vessels in there, thank god. But the spine..." Monty wounded so sad. "I can fix it. I can fix this. Don't you dare die on me." Monty demanded.

"I'm so tired." Lunar warned him.

"Hey now, talk to me. Tell me something, Lunar. Stay with me." Monty demanded of him.

"W-Why did Eclipse do this to me? I didn't do anything wrong!" Lunar whimpered out.

"It's my fault, kids, and I'm so sorry I put you in the middle. I shoulda known he'd do it. God, I'm so stupid! I was just trying to get him out of the room so I could talk to you alone. I shoulda stopped him, shoulda backed out. It was supposed to be a fake deal of something he wouldn't do!" Monty told him while he was getting him unstrapped from the chair.

"Monty, Moony feels all the pain. But I felt it too." Lunar warned him. Monty immediately did something in another language that Lunar couldn't understand. But he heard Moon stop screaming within his head finally and he hummed and nodded at him softly.

"Moon, you're there?" Monty asked.

'Lunar, what happened!?' Moon asked.

"Fake deal...to kill me...Eclipse put us...in a tube...I'm sorry." Lunar was struggling with his engine filling with oil. But then Monty's fingers carefully found the right vessel and sealed it off, ceasing the oil-flow going into his engine.

"Hold your breath." Monty told him. Lunar did just that as he felt Monty take out the engine that was cracked and replaced it. "Breathe." Lunar could take much deeper breaths now, no longer struggling to do so.

"I'm getting your legs, do you feel them?"

"No." Lunar admitted.

'You can't feel them!?" Moon asked in a panic.

"Spine. Shoved out." Lunar was trying to focus on anything but the pain of it all. Everything ached. Well, everything he could feel. And Monty moved quickly to his elbow joints. "Don't move your arm, it'll mess up the wires." Monty warned him and held his hand to take the useless joints out one handed.

Lunar felt pain in the endo from the lack of a joint when Monty took out the ripped one but Monty replaced it quickly and then moved to the next arm, letting his left elbow recalibrate while he did the right. It was just painful. Everything was painful. Was fixing someone always so much pain?

'Lunar, stay awake.' Moon urged him.

"'M tired." Lunar complained.

"We know, Lunar, just a little longer. I need to fix your spine." Monty told him.

'We'll be okay. It's a part that can be replaced. But he needs you awake to make sure we'll wake back up.' Moon told him.

Lunar felt Monty's hands carefully bringing something into his chest cavity, claws retracted to not nick anything. Lunar winced feeling the new spine get pressed to the top into place, then the bottom and Monty stopped holding it quickly.

"Can you feel everything now?" Monty asked.

"My legs hurt." Lunar told him.

"I know, recalibration hurts. I'm sorry." Monty apologized again as he closed his chest plate before carefully moving Lunar onto his side, almost laying on his stomach. "Just the casing on your back now." Lunar sighed at that and let Monty take off and replace the casing before putting him back on his back.

"What about our eyes?" Lunar asked.

"Your eyes. Fuck." Lunar heard Monty seem to throw up as he realized his eyes were gone. "That fucking machine crushed them." Monty sounded sick to his stomach at that.

'I have replacements.' Moon offered.

"Moon has replacements." Lunar relayed.

"In his room?"

'In here. In a box in the closest storage room.'

"In the closest storage room in a box." Lunar relayed.

"I'm not leaving you. I promise. I'm coming back with eyes." Monty told him and Lunar laid his head down and rested as his legs felt to have calibrated.

'You did so well. I'm so proud of you letting Monty help you and not falling asleep yet.' Moon praised him.

"You're proud of me?" Lunar asked.

'Of course I am. You're the bravest person I know. You withstood everything that machine did to you. You let someone you didn't trust take care of you. You're still alive and awake. I'm so, so proud of you, Lunar.' Moon told him.

"Moony, I'm scared. What if Eclipse knows?"

'We'll tell him the creator did it.' Moon told him.

"Huh?" Lunar hummed.

'We disappear for a couple days and come back saying the creator fixed you.' Moon told him.

"Okay, eye replacement. And faceplate fixing." Monty spoke in that weird language again and his faceplate felt better, seemingly healed. Then the new eyes popped into their sockets but nothing.

"I still don't see anything." Lunar warned.

"You don't? I attached the wire even." Monty asked.

"No, I still can't see." Lunar sniffled.

"Let me see." Monty plucked one from its socket carefully and examined it and the wires. "That damn machine! It cut part of the wires. Those wires are irreplaceable." Monty sounded so sad again.

"Monty, it's okay. At least we look normal." Lunar assured him and Monty defeatedly placed his eye back into its socket rather carefully but effectively.

"Alright. I need to get you outta here. He's gonna come sniffing around eventually." Monty wrapped him up in a blanket and picked him up, Lunar snuggling into him and hiding against him as he felt himself being carried, slowly falling asleep from the pain he'd gone through and holding tight to Monty.

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powertaco · 1 year

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Alright. So what would you do if CRWBY (RT) contacted you and asked you to help incorporate Whiterose into canon? Would you do it? If so, how, and if not, I’d still want to know how.

I'm sure most of us would like to. I don't know if I'd be the best person for the job, or what not, but I think at this point you'd have to play for the long game and aim for like last volume.

I think the general groundwork for a relationship, especially with V6 is there but needs built on. Ruby and Weiss have pink petals only when together and the color pink used as petals is used by Ren's new semblance when he detects love.

There's tons of symbolism and pictures/promo material of WR being very important with each other. I don't see Weiss with a shield in the promo material nor do I see her thirsting over Jaune in the spin off stuff or Ruby looking at Oscar or any symbols that represent him. Manga anthologies, the movie crossover, IQD are all supremely WR coded.

They need to talk and be partners again. They need to have conversations and set things right between them. Weiss needs to come clean about why she was taking Ruby for granted, and Ruby needs to apologize for not talking to her about things, and they need to have a real partnership going forward.

V10 (they said 12/13 was their planned end point at one time so we'll go based on that) would be about this in the background with the war against Salem likely taking center stage as well as the fallout of Atlas.

I'd like to see more Ruby still falling into bad habits (unlearning them IS hard) but her team, and Weiss in particular helping her plan and taking the work off her shoulders and helping to divide it up. Even if they don't want WR endgame this is something that needs to happen because they're supposed to be best friends.

Blake and Yang as much as people might hate it need to take a slight step back. I'm happy for them but they're too wrapped up in each other to the point that they're the others world to the detriment of everyone else.

More interactions with other partners. Yang and Weiss and Blake and Ruby need to interact a bit more.

Blake and Yang can talk to the others and in time start drop hints about things but mostly as teases for now.

Once Salem finds out Cinder lied to her...a lot I would expect her to have a less than pleasant time and probably not be doing much outside of not dying. We might get the start of a 'we found the summer maiden' plot here.

V11 I would focus on the relic of destruction. I'd probably have this be the volume Tyrian dies likely as the villain of the volume in a battle for the relic. Seeing as they wanted 9/10 to start turning around you need to give the team some wins. So either they win and get the relic or they kill tyrian but still lose the relic. Depending on how they run with Theodore he could live or die securing the relic.

Based on how little of a chance Team RWBY seem to have against someone like Cinder they need to upgrade their semblances or one of them is probably gonna have to end up a maiden at some point. If they go that route then Raven actually dying to give her powers to Yang is possible but we need more from and about Raven before I'll buy that she'd do something like that. Unless of course she somehow gets ambushed and is dying then she might think of Yang. If this does happen i imagine we'll get more of that flashback from earlier.

Good chance for Ruby and Blake to comfort her if that does happen because well if Yang does end up with them then I mean it's clear what happened and her mom is dead. I imagine Qrow wouldn't take it well either but he has Robyn so she'll prob be helping him a bit.

WR would start incorporating little touches like they used to. Shoulder grabs, little quick hand squeezes and hugs that go on just a second too long and more playful banter in and out of battle.

They should still be serious when it calls for it but not have an issue just hanging out in the limited downtime they do have. Others should notice they seem to be happier now and have WR not understand what they mean.

V12 would likely be the start of Ozpin/Ozma opening up with some more deep lore and hopefully someone calls him on the whole 'jinn only said you can't kill her' angle. Probably not.

From here it really depends on how they plan to resolve Salem. Is it gonna be a hail mary we're united and have the relics fix it gods thing or not.

If it's not then I'd like to see them ape the gods and use that to 'kill' salem for good. Ie Ruby's eyes represent the light and Weiss and her grimm summons the dark. Working together and in concert to kill her just like the gods combo powers cursed her. If you want it to be a more team thing then Yang and Blake can represent light and dark too. Jaune can amp up their auras to an extreme level for this to work. Whether this kills him or his ultimate fate is irrelevant.

Ruby would be a bit more mature after Ever After and talking with her friends and Weiss would start taking notice because as Kara said 'Weiss like maturity'

If you wanted a twist for after this then have the gods show up and be pissed that rwby undid their work. 'who are you to undo what we gods have done etc?

From here they can drop the knowledge bombs that they're no better than runaway kids who left and what not.

The gods can then either bring back salem again proving that they're massive hypocrites since they told salem earlier she didn't understand the value of life and death and cause the gods to want to wipe out humanity and faunus.

At this point I'd expect the blacksmith/tree to basically be like 'no you're done' and drag them back.

If they don't bring salem back they could be like 'well humanity has come together so you know what good enough stay that way or else.

Then you'd have a few after it's all over episodes.

Now that the war is over they're focused on rebuilding. Weiss is busy helping Whitley and Willow and Winter (if she's alive) rebuild the SDC.

Ruby appears and asks her to take a break for dinner. Weiss is going to refuse until Willow tells her they'll manage and shoos her out the door.

Weiss asks where they're going to meet Blake/Yang, and Ruby says 'oh i was kinda thinking...it could just be us two.' Weiss could say something with a small blush and be like 'I'd like that' and it could cut to the other couples then credits.

Admittedly part of me would find it hilarious if Weiss gets fed up with waiting and just grabs Ruby and smooches her mid final battle.

Or the safer route just have a scene set after the war 5/10 years and casually let it be dropped they married in that time to avoid having to do anything.

Personally if I was doing RWBY from the start I'd make the WF bigger antagonist along with Jacques and probably cut out the whole brother gods/salem deal. Maybe even magic and maidens. I think that could be a lot of fun and as attractive as mommy salami is I don't care much for her in the story. Great VA though who really nails the voice I'd imagine for Salem.

I'd probably also keep them in school for another year and have more inter-team friendships. Like Blake , Velvet, Ruby, and Ren having a book club, or Ren and Weiss bonding over having super high energy partners.

Yang and Pyrrha work out buddies. Ruby and Jaune playing games with Nora probably joining it.

That sort of thing.

Of course if I was writing RWBY I'd find a way to have Maria hold WR hands so you know.

I hope I understood the question and if not I apologize.

#rwby #writing #whiterose #ask

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mha-grievances · 1 year

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I wanted to say that Izuku attainting OFA was a good idea, because Izuku's quirkless nature should have helped him understand Hero society in a different light unlike his classmates with few exceptions (Shouji, Shoto, etc.) who take the status quo for granted. But Hori can't stop whitewashing Bakugo's actions towards Izuku, this never gets explored to Izuku's detriment. Not to mention AM past being quirkless, how much did OFA warp his perspective before Izuku reminded him again about the true meaning of being a hero.

If I had my way, I would have Izuku have little to no struggle mastering OFA, of course build up his strength overtime. But Izuku would be the OverDog, someone powerless thrusted with an immense power. Kind of like One Punch Man only more dramatic because a teenager with mental issues and heroic nature effectively has the power of Superman. Now Izuku would have to ask himself some serious questions about what kind of hero he wants to be and why. Does fighting as a hero mean upholding hero society for all its flaws or does it need to be teared down for something better. How much is a hero still a hero before he is a vigilante or even a revolutionary? Which should be a good lesson for kids and young adults reading this story, because it's not enough to covet an important position of power like Naruto wanting to be Hokage, Luffy being the Pirate King or being Number 1 hero but what are you going to do after attainting this position? They need to understand the burden of responsibility rather then putting a fancy title on their resume.

But Hori wasted this opportunity by having Izuku as the fake underdog, struggling with mastering OFA as his main focus in the story. Izuku spent his time worried about mastering OFA rather then thinking about the flaws and ways to fix things. Its also a waste of world building potential because if Izuku is self-reflective like he supposed to be, then he could have been sympathizing with villains or view certain heroes as no different than bullies like at his middle school. Suddenly what was once black and white has become grey, even All-Might can't give him any good answers because the Hero Society he has built is the legacy that he fought so hard for and doesn't see anything wrong with it yet. We could have disagreements between Izuku and All-Might about these issues and what kind of purpose should OFA be about before and after AFO was revealed to be alive and ready for revenge.

This is why I hate the Quirkless Hero Izuku stories because the way Hero society is structured, it would never have allowed for Izuku to succeed in the first place. Eraserhead would have expelled him, schools would firmly reject him and people would just laugh at him for being arrogant to think he could provide any value in the field besides his smarts which could be suited elsewhere.

A quirkless Izuku would require a change of personality and plot armor for him to prevail. These stories become all about the Struggle rather then how twisted and unfair the system. Even compensating with technology devalues Izuku's character because he loves studying quirks! It makes him a great leader helping him bulid teams for the right scenario and placing value in everyone's quirk no matter how useless or villainous it may be. Having technology to compete with quirks would become impossible without changing the setting entirely.

A quirkless Izuku would also seem self-centered at this point because yes he wants to be a hero, but he could be a Police officer or firefighter to satisfy his heroic impulses. It could even be a point in the original story, which is partly why i think many people still feel that frustrated about this subject because Hori failed or was reluctant to explore this topic with Izuku and covers for Bakugo's BS. Man I sound like a broken record, it always leads back to Bakugo lol.

I definitely agree with the first half.

With the second half, I think a quirkless hero would definitely work, but you’d also have to place limits on what can be achieved. As a hero, Izuku would be street level. Think Batman, DareDevil, and Punisher. He wouldn’t go after people that can shatter buildings with a punch. He’d go after people running drug cartels and involved with gang activity. About 85% of people in the MHA world would die to some bloke with a gun, so have him fight those people instead of the ones that can’t. He doesn’t have to be a line light hero because that was never his goal to begin with. He just wanted to help people. He can also use technology to fight people since the tech in MHA is extremely advanced, but keep in mind that Izuku doesn’t have the funds to create all the things he might want to, so he’d have to stick with some more basic stuff until he can afford the materials to build something better.

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imthepunchlord · 1 year

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Greetings, sorry to bother you I wanted to know your opinion on which miraculous would inspire the worst qualities of an individual like personality wise. Which miraculous would detriment their growth or values. Specifically Adrien. Anyway hope you have a good day and you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Well, since you mentioned specifically Adrien that's the only one I'll talk about in depth. As for what could bring out the worst and what would help with improvement, that's a topic that can vary, it can depend on ideas/views, and it can depend on the power and can depend on the kwami as sometimes the kwami would be a good idea to pair with a character but not the power, or vice versa.

Also, as there's 19 miraculous to go through, and not all the kwamis got the proper screen time to show their personalities and what they may be like, I'm just going to talk about the Seven and mention a few Zodiac that could work power or kwami wise.

The Seven

Ladybug - It's a shame they got Lucky Charm set up the way they do, cause kwami wise, this is where Adrien and Marinette would've gotten the best overall growth. With Adrien and Tikki, she is a kwami who would have met Adrien's needs and his wants.

The big thing with Adrien is that he is seeking someone to fill the void his mother left, and for the most part, has been projecting that onto Ladybug/Marinette. If he had Tikki, she easily could've filled that void, as Tikki is attentive and affectionate and encouraging. She is quick to step into the role of mentor figure, to be someone that her users can turn to for encouragement, affection, and guidance. And the former two is what Adrien desires most. And given his situation, Tikki may be gentler and lighter in how she handles and advises him.

Biggest plus with this pair is that Tikki would call out what bothers her and prioritizes efficiency with heroic duties, both of which Adrien has been lacking. If Adrien is being selfish, Tikki will say something. If Adrien is doing nothing about Chloe harassing others, Tikki will speak up about that. If Adrien is too busy flirting and joking around to focus on his heroic duties, Tikki will get onto him about that. All that Adrien does and gets away with, Tikki wouldn't let that fly. With Tikki, Adrien would've grown to be a more focused hero, he would've sooner addressed his relationship with Chloe, and is more likely to learn lessons that he needs to learn. And given how he is, being very direct and straightforward, he would compel Tikki to be more involved and direct, she couldn't just say "I don't like this" like she does with Marinette who would stop to think of a different solution, Adrien would need actual answers and alternatives. Another plus is that Tikki would've moved the Agreste plot along, as she is nosy and observant, and once she got a whiff of anything suspicious with Gabriel, she would look into it. We wouldn't need to wait 4 seasons for Felix to move things along.

But, biggest issue is the Ladybug's powers and role. By how it's set up, that ONLY Ladybug can solve akumas and restore everything, whoever has this miraculous MUST show up and MUST always win. It's a miraculous with a lot of pressure, and Adrien is someone with a busy schedule and already has a lot of pressure on him from his father. With the earrings, that pressure doubles as Adrien CAN'T skip out on akumas and must show up. There's also the issue that Adrien does make instinctive reckless self-sacrifices for his partner, and you can't do that if you're the Ladybug. No one would have a good time. Nothing would get fixed. And then there's the issue of Lucky Charm, required someone who is a very complex, fast, and elaborate thinker, who will think outside the box and be creative and resourceful in their thought process. It's designed in a way that only an exclusive few could do it (for sure Marinette, Luka, and Felix). Adrien does not meet that criteria. It's even canonly backed that Adrien struggles with the Lucky Charm (Reflecktdoll specifically, I haven't watched the 2nd kwami swap ep and don't really plan to).

It's a shame as I think Tikki could've been solid for Adrien's needs and wants over all, but it's just not ideal to pair him with the earrings. Not for the powers, the pressure, and the role. Now, if things didn't come down to ONLY Ladybug, this wouldn't' be so bad but, that's how canon set it up.

Fox - Adrien with Fox I see being very similar to Alya with the Fox. It's not end of the world bad but there are better match ups for Fox. The biggest issue with Adrien having Fox (and this extends to Alya) is that they are both direct and straightforward thinkers so their illusions will be direct and basic, and both do desire the limelight and rather be in the heat of things. And that's hard to do with Fox, which I think would better serve being more in the shadows to cast their illusions, and the users ideally should be clever, creative, observant,elusive, and able to think on their feet.

With Trixx, playing off Sapotis Trixx, I see a similar relationship Trixx could've had with Alya, Trixx being able to string Adrien along and manipulate him towards Trixx's views of an ideal path. She would've led Adrien to be more chaotic and rebellious, would've played off his want for independence more, and still guide him to be more duty focused. I could also see Adrien taking Trixx's words too literally and the hidden suggestion could go over his head.

So, not the best match but not the worst. It could play into Adrien's dramatics and help him be more expressive, could help him learn to think outside the box but that'd take time.

Bee - Bee I see being similar to Cat in terms of power matching with Adrien as Venom is similar to Cataclysm's function, though Adrien may be a little more reckless with that power as he'd aim to sting an akuma and freeze them right away.

Pollen though would be the biggest NO to Adrien getting Bee as she would be a yes man who never questions Adrien and just constantly validates his choices. That is the last thing Adrien needs.

Turtle - Turtle is actual one of the Five I think would be best for him. It works off how he works off, but offers solutions to the problematic aspects of how he approaches situations. Cause the big thing about Adrien is that he likes to be in the heat of battle, and its his nature to protect his teammate, take the brunt of attacks. He wants to be a shield, so this lets him actually be a shield. Biggest plus is that this power actually offers him protection. And as he can only put up a shield once, its going to start forcing Adrien to think a little more about when he needs to put up his Shelter or find different solutions than just tanking hits.

Wayzz I also see being a solid kwami to pair with Adrien. He is quick to question hasty actions, he wants his holders to be a 100% on their choices, so he will lessen Adrien's recklessness. It could lead to him learning to be a little more cautious, or think a little more, go about things smartly. Another big plus is that Wayzz is very adaptive and observant. He will pay attention to his holders and be quick to adopt their quirks and interests so he can better connect with them (like the 2nd time we see Carapace appear, him and Nino have their own handshake). So Wayzz would be very engaging with Adrien's interests, get with him one on one, which would make them actual friends, which can lead to Adrien considering Wayzz's advise more and be more inclined to follow his lead, which works out as Wayzz wouldn't established himself as THE leader between them, allowing Adrien to grow into his own more.

So of the Five, Turtle I think would be solid, both in kwami and power.

Peacock - Peacock I see in the same boat as Fox, there could be better match ups, but it may be better than Fox. Biggest plus for Adrien is that Peacock makes actual creations than illusions, so there's more physical aspect to it. Similar to Fox's illusions, Adrien's sentibeings I see being more direct and straightforward. But as this is a more long range power and Peacock doesn't seem built to be in the heat of things, this would clash against Adrien's want to be in the field, so he'd be more limited. There's also a possibility that Adrien could make a sentiEmilie and sentiLadybug to fill out what he wants and that could get into some problematic territory, especially learning that his dream is living in isolation with his crush so this could lead to him willingly isolating himself to be with who he wants to be with most.

Playing off that Duusu is expressive and animated, I see him and Adrien getting along, as Duusu would work off Adrien want to be flamboyant and playful and he does try to get Ladybug to play along with him. But there's not enough on Duusu to say for sure on anything else.

Butterfly - Adrien and Butterfly is kinda up there with Chloe and the Butterfly, on some level, it could be good for growth, but on another, it just may not be a good fit. Now, between the two, there is more possibility for Adrien as he can be good at encouraging/giving a pep talk, and is well meaning the few times he works off others. Him with Butterfly is not an impossibility. But I'm uncertain how well a fit it would be.

The set up for Butterfly works off someone having issues, you realizing and understanding those issues, and offering a means of solution. It all comes down to prioritizing someone else, giving them the power to help themselves, which in turn will help others. As a person, Adrien is not there. In the few instances that he is with someone who is also upset, he often makes the situation about himself, wanting to share his troubles more than their own troubles (one example is Glaciator where Marinette is also upset but Chat's upset is more prioritized). This miraculous requires empathy, which Adrien over all lacks, some of the best examples is his response to Chloe bullying others and not seeing an issue with it enough to step in to stop her or help them.

Another factor is that this power does require a semi leader, someone who will over see how things play out and will give direction as needed. Adrien does not have leadership potential, he does not step up to that role of being a leader, more often than not, he needs to follow directions or will just act on his own. One of the biggest factors to this is the factor that Alya actually has become the 2nd in command to Marinette instead of him.

Mindful, it can be set up that Butterfly could help him learn to be more empathetic, to listen to others more, take a more active role in helping and a learn some leadership skills, but it's something that would take time.

Kwami wise, I do see Adrien and Nooroo getting along over all, they're both gentle and amiable personalities, and Nooroo could appreciate a social butterfly like Adrien and his want for a change. But like Adrien and Plagg, I do see whatever Nooroo says in protest to Adrien's actions would just go over Adrien's head and is easily dismissed or ignored. Nooroo isn't a bold enough personality to get through Adrien when he needs someone too.

Cat - Cat to me is one of those where it's not a bad match, but it's now clear that there could be better matches. Cat for sure does meet with Adrien's wants and semi his needs, it answers that want for independence, and opens up to possibility of rebelling against his controlling villainous father. And with Plagg's influence, it meets his needs to prioritize himself and his wants, and to have the chance to have fun and be a kid when he was hardly allowed to.

The issue stands though with the continued allowance. As Plagg didn't establish himself as an authoritative figure, and hardly ever offers advise or guidance, anything Plagg says now to call out Adrien or point out issues is dismissed by Adrien. And with Plagg preferring to let karma be a teacher and caring deeply for his holders, this has allowed Adrien to do as he pleases with little to no consequences. Plagg and the Cat is good for Adrien at the start, to help him gain more freedom and to have a chance to act his age and do as he likes, but its not something that should've been allowed to be for 5 seasons now.

The Zodiac

Ox - Ox has the similar appeal to Turtle, with the big plus being it's more combative focused, which Adrien does like to fight. Stompp though seems stricter and has less patience, so I don't see Adrien's want for fun to be encouraged.

Tiger - Tiger has a lot of the same appeal as Cat and Bee, so Adrien could be able to wield Clout just fine. Roaar would encourage Adrien to speak out and be heard, and would also be nosy, so the plot may progress more. It could risk Adrien being pushy and bringing out the bad traits of him pushing his ideals out more, speaking over others.

Dragon - Same as above, I do see Adrien being fine with the powers, may make him want to power through things; but I don't see him clicking with Longg. He may zone out on rambling Longg or not inclined to listen to them.

Horse - Horse is one of the Zodiac I could immediately see being a solid fit for Adrien. He does want freedom and is in need of more independence, and this power relates to be able to go wherever you please. It would also be easier for him to join fights and then go back to his schedule, making it easier to get around.

Another big appeal with Kaalki. Not only would Adrien apply to her preferences of a holder, meaning she'd be delighted to have him and work off of him, Kaalki would have a standard of how she expects her heroes to act, meaning she would call out Adrien if his being dishonorable or doing something questionable or selfish. And she is one of those few kwamis where, if she has an issue, you will know about it.

Monkey - This largely plays off Adrien's want of levity and fun. So it works off more what he wants and needs at the start, but similar to Cat, it can lead to a problematic placement long term. Especially as Xuppu doesn't seem all that responsible a kwami, though I do think he and Adrien could be a funny pair.

Dog - Dog is the 2nd to Horse of the Zodiac I'd vote for Adrien. It can play into that want for levity, as a ball is an iconic play item, but it would also come into being more focused and involved in fights, giving Adrien's role a little more weight, and may let him be in the heat of things but not as risky. I also see Barkk being the source of affection Adrien desires, and also matching him in energy; but she's also very focus and duty oriented, she could help Adrien learn there's a time for play and a time for work. So she'd be there to encourage and support him, but also point out issues and guide him to improvement.

#ask Punchie #adrien agreste #kwami swap

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