#sometime's it's just hard. yk

[alecscudder1987]

trans pain but make it chronic. collage inspired by @sweatermuppet [x]

#saw his poem this morning and i couldn't get this phrase out of my head. there's a lot of joy in being trans and in being disabled but. #sometime's it's just hard. yk #egan.art #egan.poetry #i guess?? does this count? who knows. fan poetry if you will. a recreation. #chronic pain #disability #chronic illness #art #found poetry

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...

#went on yet another bardaby bender. these are only part of it lmao #i am often seized by the fatal need to Draw Barnaby In Some Shape Or Form #but yes. thinking very hard about the illusion smoke #i feel like sometimes he uses it recreationally... mixed with other stuff to dilute it ofc #but it keeps the color! #im imagining that it can act sort of like a Mood Ring! #the core color that he exhales yk yk! #but using it full strength for proper illusions and such #he's gotta be careful about it! it'll fuck him up! #he's built up Quite The Resistance to illusions and illusion magic over his life #but everyone has their limits... #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #IM NOT USED TO DRAWING SMOKE. IT LOOKS BAD LMAO #i'll have to work on that! look up tutorials! Practice! #anyhow i think the other scribbles need their own post #its mainly bardaby and our little warlock... #there are three ways i love drawing barnaby #i love scribbling him angry. i love scribbling him with howdy. and i love scribbling him being soft w/ wally #side note i realized earlier that part of the reason why i love characters who are just so much bigger than everyone else #ex: poppy & barnaby #is bc then its like. they're the smaller guys' personal jungle gym lmao #free bed! free climbing wall! free bean bag! free Getting Tossed Around!!!! #all wrapped up with the wonderful bow of Friend!!!! #...my touch starvedness is showing isnt it. away with ye demons!!!

[dreamwinged]

sometimes honestly if you're feeling invalid/anxious/any sort of negative feeling about your selfship , you just have to go back to canon. and i know it seems like such an easy answer but you really do have to. it is always SO comforting to me when i'm feeling bad about things to just see my f/os normally, without any fan interpretation or characterization or opportunities for jealousy involved; to remember why i fell in love with them and that no one can take that specific experience away from me. that other people's thoughts on the character don't matter because at the end of the day, none of it has any bearing on canon and no one can "know" a character any better than anyone else. it really really does work and i wish id realized it sooner

#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ #ok maybe this isnt relatable BUT #idk #i'm someone who gets really sensitive about sharing or seeing my f/os shipped with canon characters #yet simultaneously i have a raging inferiority complex #so when i get in a “uweeueuhhh uim not good enough😢😢😢🥺🥺🥺” headspace #this really really really helps meeee #its hard to remember it sometimes but we're all on equal footing yk? like -> #no one's ship or understanding of a character can be better than yours because we're all just operating off the same limited information #i dont Know. i find it comfroting #.fav #<- FOR MYSELF BC I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS NEXT TIME I TWEAK OUT. ifee llike im having an epiphany #f/o #self ship #f/o community #self ship community #.f/o positivity ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ #f/o positivity #self ship positivity

[sonicpilled]

need. more of ur zombic au i love him

m

#tw drawn sh #tw sh #tw gore #tw blood #ok so. #a lot old. a lot only a little old #kinda gross #thats what i am now i gues with this silly drawings #Its hard 2 draw things sometimes so alot of the comics (if i get2it) will be poorly drawn #just enough to get the point across Yk #i dont wamt it to seem overly edgy when he was created to just vent on #lel #bowies art #zombic au #sonic #feelz weird to post this regardless Yk.but like some people think it is interesting #ask

[jimmyspades]

The season 4 premiere of Boston Legal is like psychological terrorism. Alan being begged to have a baby. Word salad. Sex in an elevator TWICE. Shirley/Denny moment that makes me sob. Infidelity. The arrival of Carl. Guys looking at each others’ dicks. Alan saying his penis has been a bad boy. Carl’s hair. One of the greatest guest appearances on the show by Craig muMs Grant. Alan calls himself fat. He wears a dress just for fun. Big dance number. I feel like I’m being hit with baseball bats the entire episode.

#‘what is this show about’ yes❤️ #boston legal #there’s great lighting in two different scene that makes his eyelashes look so blond and long #james is alan alan is james so of course he always looks like himself. but sometimes he looks so… him #yk what I mean. the smallest expression and it suddenly reminds me of crash of all things. or something he did in SLV or pretty in pink #idk why it’s so hard to explain. or it’s not but it sounds silly I don’t know. he’s just so strikingly handsome in vastly different ways #at different times in his life #movies are easy to compare of course jim is always doing little jim things in his 90 minute films #but alan is so fleshed out I’ve seen alan more than I’ve seen all the others combined except perhaps red #but I have the same feeling with red! they’re separate almost. it’s almost a shock when I see james spader in their eyes… #anyway um. season 4 already making me INSANE this time yay :)

[otrtbs]

i just want to say i've seen a few tiktoks of people going to the louvre and completing the ahb! tour that regulus and james went on and every time i see them i sob. like, tears pour out of my eyes because, quite selfishly i wrote a lot of my favorite works found at the louvre into that chapter. some of them i've seen in person and some of them i haven't. but when i see other people,, looking at the art that i love so much because i wrote about it in a silly little fic,,, it's such a surreal feeling. it fills me with so much joy to know that somewhere someone i don't know is looking at this art!!! they get to see it!!! and maybe they take something away from it!! maybe it changes their life just a little like it changed mine!! but maybe it doesn't,, and that's okay too! i still cry because it makes me so happy to imagine all y'all running around the louvre and finding these artworks and connecting to it in part because of ahb! <33333 :,))

#me being such a dork im crying writing this #just saw another tiktok and someone is at the louvre taking their family to see st. apollonia #i hope they had fun!! #art altered my life so much!! that i'm dedicating my education and career to it!! #and i think it can be hard sometimes to find accessibility in art and the art world™️ #it felt very inaccessible to me for a long time #and seeing y'all running around the louvre!! LOOKING AT ALL THE ART !!! BAWLING BAWLING BAWLING #yk how it is

[moj-chhe]

My friends think I'm seriously looking for someone to date but what they don't understand is. I'm not looking to date. I'm looking for friends who I can be more comfortable with. I'm looking for something or someone where I can talk to them and I'm given a little bit of pampering. I'm looking for something where I don't have to have at least a small mask on 24/7

I don't want a boyfriend. I want a person who supports me, who I can support and someone who won't have the kind of pulling down that has a huge chance of happening in hostelite girls

#I envy how everyone in the boys hostel has each other's backs #I want something like that a friend I can depend on no matter what #I want someone who'd say - let's get burgers randomly and I won't hesitate to go. Someone who'd be up to just go for a walk in a park #And not have to go to a fancy cafe after #:// #I love my friends but sometimes I feel like I get too attached to one group and I don't see when the flags get red #Though I've had great experiences with my current friends we've been through a lot together and we've had each other's backs #But we'll #Sometimes you just want something different yk? #Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the one who feels I've to be proper all the time #I can't physically get comfortable with people it's so hard to trust and I usually can't do casual physical touch much #I hated hugs till I got into college but at least now I don't mind them much #bak bak meri

[shima-draws]

Just got back from my friend’s wedding :’) I think it says a lot that I was the only high school friend that showed up

#TBF the others in our friend group back then live in different states now #And flying out for a wedding can be SO expensive. #But yeah idk it just meant a lot to me :’) #And my friend (the groom) was SO happy to see me. And his family was too #That made me really glad 🤧 #The fact that he invited me to come at all also says a lot I think #And you know what maybe I cried on the way home in the car but that’s nobody’s business but mine!! #I’m very very happy for him. And his wife is SO sweet and so pretty #It’s just weird yk? Cause in high school I liked this guy SO much #Like I daydreamed about getting married to him some day #So seeing him marrying someone else felt very weird lol #Bittersweet mostly #Sorry this is super embarrassing LMAO but it’s not like I’m ever going to tell this to his face. #I know they’ll be very happy together and I’m so so glad he found someone that fits together with him so well #He’d better come to MY wedding tho. In the future. LOL #Shima speaks #It was a very ‘saying goodbye to your first love’ kind of thing. #Even after I confessed to him in high school (and got rejected) I never really stopped liking him #Like I just never got over it I guess. Even tho I KNEW nothing would ever come of it #Idk sometimes it’s hard to let that stuff go! It’s hard to stop liking someone after you liked them for so long and so strongly #I want to say I’m over it now but considering I was crying in my car: #Well. JFJSJMFMSMSNN #I know I don’t feel that way for him anymore like as a fact but. Idk it was weird— #Again bittersweet. I think I just needed a second to process and really let it sink in #Goodbye to my high school fantasy //waves a handkerchieff #Also MAYBE I saw them be so happy and was like. Why can’t I have that with someone. HUH #Leetle jealous. I need to find me a someone *squint emoji* #Anyway rant over wedding was good I’m just an idiot ;)

[millions-dykes]

Sometimes I remember that Vash, under all of his silliness, is also incredibly jaded and It makes me a little insane.

Like!!! He IS silly he IS goofy he IS kind but he went through so much there's a part of under there buried deep that's just... So done. He's tired but he push on. He's so.

#niho's triguns #vash the stampede #trimax #I don't know how to work it precisely #but my friend has been re-readinf trigun and it's true that he has some. Moments #of both violence and just idgaf anymore moments #I think it's a core Vash thing that's he's not inherently a pacifist. that sometimes he really is fighting again his own psyche. #being kind isn't a trait it's a choice and a hard one sometimes yk yk

[drifloonz]

i think how i write steven as a ""retired cryptid"" is extremely funny bc he still lives in pallet town. just in a walled-off part. he would never willingly reintegrate with society fully but just. imagine if he did at least partially. imagine if some delivery guy came to pallet town and was like asking the residents where a "mr. steven" would live and theyre all like

"The guy on the edge of the town???? The cryptid??? Our local boogeyman???" "yea that one"

#wispy chatters #steven strangled red #big tag ramble on this one i have THOUGHTS i LOVE domesticated cryptid steven #its funnier bc his 'side' of pallet to the west or whatever is walled off #and i imagine its walled off enough to the point where its like hard to climb or jump over ( at least if you're short or weak ) #so its just like. the deliveryguy has to go thru that. and has to text steven like. 'Dude i cant deliver the package like this' #and hes just like 'idk drop it on the other side'. #deliveryman just goes 'i am not legally liable if the package gets damaged ok' and steven just groans #and goes outside to reach his hands above the weird stone gates and picks up the package and just goes back in his house #Imagine domesticated cryptid steven is what im saying. #i also like to imagine he'd scare the residents for fun by ominously sitting at the edge of the stone gates at night #and glaring at people w his red eyes. #for literally no reason other than to scare people bc he probably finds scaring people funny #i call him a retired cryptid but hes still pallet towns local cryptid who is really playing into the role after he stopped actually killing #and also probably when he was too but like less so. #imagine theres like a day dedicated to steven in pallet for some reason where people just offer things near the gate for him to pick up #bc its smth the kids of pallet who were told the story of steven just kind of imagined like #'oh well sometimes you give offerings to legendaries or during ceremonies. or so the cryptid at the edge of town doesnt eat us.' #imagining the residents of pallet or whatever and sometimes other people drop him gifts on like... his birthday or the date of The Incident #and also cuz yk during his depression spiral ppl constantly gave him gifts #i think he'd just be very confused and very conflicted esp if they did make it on the Incident Day bc hes just like. #'i dont want your pity.' but then the day after all of the gifts r gone cuz he took them anyways. #almost all of them r prob given to miki bc its 'her' day unless its food then he splits it between em. and his partner if he has 1. #he just sees it as 'oh cool i dont have to go to the grocery store today. thanks.' #also prob happens on other dates too like christmas/halloween/his birthday #I think if steven was more normally adjusted and his side of pallet was open he'd make his house a haunted house on halloween #and would just scare people for funsiez and if he caught them he just throws them out . maybe give candy n then do tht if theyre a kid.

[munamania]

right can i just. okay. lesbian is not a genre so im not looking to lump all these shows together. got that out of the way. im also not looking to pit queer people against each other so ok checking that off the list. i am however going to go ahead and throw the misogyny card out here because it’s fucking annoying how shows that center women, especially when theyre woc and/or queer, still just don’t take off even in progressive online spaces the way any shows with our darling young gay male couples will. i’m not saying that’s, like, the Cause of them being cancelled either because we’ve been shown numbers don’t matter. and many of the “”lesbian”” shows that have been cancelled were popular otherwise. just complaining xo!

#because well maybe many of these lesbian shows are not that good. and it's hard for people to care #but also sometimes they like are. or they're not 'good' but they're still fun and if the dynamics in play were primarily #attractive young guys i personally think they'd take off. but there's no way to like prove that so im just talking out of my ass #and ALSO. regardless of the lesbian aspect of it. many of you will watch such ass shows that have like no women or one woman in it #and hype it up to all hell cause that's your babygirl #I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HAVE A GOOFY STUPID ASS DYKE TRAPPED IN A SHOW THAT ISNT THAT GOOD AND HAVE FUN!!! #i deserve pathetic women!!!!! #and also. largely upset with the most recent cancellations because of the butches/masc lesbians involved #because that you know has a special place in my heart. okay whatever #anyway. let me also add that plenty of the people who hype up mediocre gay shows are some of the most annoying people on the planet #so yk maybe it's a gift in a way to just have the illusion that the relationship begins and ends with me and my tv and one friend #but. like. the thing is is some of the tropes/dynamics/etc i see on these shows would make people go ferallllll if u know...... #circumstances were different. but they just dont care. and also like. i think it's fair to be sad that ur just not getting more time #with characters u enjoy #that none of the money these streaming services get goes to even shitty quality stuff #honestly it's so smart of them to be like Ooo look gay people i have smth for u! and then get everyone online going #omg stream it so it doesnt get cancelled!!!!!! to maximize off it anyway. and then cancel before it can threaten their image or anything #and get too big. or be smth they invest in

[angelboybreakdowns]

my mom learn what anxiety is challenge impossible edition

#‘but youll stop being anxious about the thing once you do it’ NO I FUCKING WONT. #i continue to be anxious over things for days afterward. sometimes weeks. #‘but you just need to power through it' i cant. i have such a strong freeze response that sometimes i physically cannot move #etc. #rambling #wish i could swap brains with people so they could understand that shit is hard for me yk? #slight vent

[bigothteddies]

kind of funny to me how some people very clearly treat online communication as an extension of themselves, how they communicate their tone over text and posts that clearly indicates their whole personality, even if they holding parts of themselves back or withholding information, you can tell it’s them. And in comparison you have those people that so clearly don’t see online communication as an extension of themselves, who communicate in tones that seem so completely separate from who they are, that you can tell they are only showing you small parts of their personality at a time, usually not even intentionally. That don’t extend their personality into the online space the way others do, keeping it in real life, so that when they do interact online it’s hard for those who do extend themselves online to see who they are and what they mean. That their posts and messages seem like such short glimpses into their personality and personhood because they see the internet as a thing to interact with, not as a space to personify themselves in.

#unimportant thoughts #I don’t know its just interesting! #its just crazy to me cause i definitely personify myself on here #like hi! im teddy! please be my friend! #and i have mutuals and friends from here who just…interact differently online #that see the internet as a thing to interact with #its just interesting ! #i have to remind myself of the different ways to use the internet yk? #its hard to interpret peoples tone sometimes

[batsinurbelfrey]

.

#mental illness sucks so much kuz ur friends are all out experiencing beautiful things and sometimes even sending you pictures #and yet you cant reply because unbeknownst to them you are stuck in a Friday night lay-in-the-dark-and-spiral episode #asking yourself like 'will the fact that I have to take so much benadryl cause me to get early onset alzheimers and rob me of my old age?' #'will my body break down before its time because of how hard it has always had to work just to keep me alive with my disabilities?' #'will i some day get ovarian cancer and die because it kept getting written off for a decade like my pcos did?' #'is my birth control going to kill me? apparently the brand I'm on is really dangerous' #'what if after everything ive done and fought through. i don't even get to live the life I've been working towards?' #and other shit like that on repeat until you like. throw up or pass out #sometimes i almost miss being severely depressed because at least in a way i almost had more peace then. at least around the future and #death concerns. since i. yk. didnt care if i lived or died vs caring SO much- #vent #personal

[todayisafridaynight]

i agree with that u said abt bringing mine back i also could never imagine how a daigo and mine reunion would look like and why he’s been in “hiding” for like a decade if he did survive

maybe mine opened a bar in okinawa who knows at this point

#snap chats #fr tho a reunion between mine and daigo would just be so awkward wouldnt it #ESPECIALLY cause itd 100% be an accidental thing cause i know damn well mine'd try to stay away from daigo #yk the whole 'i wish i could be good enough for your love but im not' or whatever #wherein daigo would definitely go 'what the fuck' cause he is but i digress #its so hard for me to imagine what thatd be like cause initially id just expect it to be more somber than overly emotional #but reviewing how frantic daigo acted hearing about kiryus cancer .. my by more emotional than i realize sometimes #different circumstances i know but still.. #anyway i love daigo omg hi king ......