#sometimes I can’t tell if my run on sentences even make sense
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EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF
ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.
CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
“ It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”
“ Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”
“ I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”
“ Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”
“ Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”
“ Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”
“ Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”
“ My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”
“ Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”
“ It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”
“ If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”
“ Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”
“ I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”
“ I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”
“ I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”
“ Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”
“ Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”
“ I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”
“ Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”
“ i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”
“ These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”
“ I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”
“ I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”
“ DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”
“ I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”
“ Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”
“ My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”
“ I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”
“ Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”
“ I was born for shock value. ”
“ Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”
“ Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”
“ Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”
“ Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”
“ My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”
“ This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”
“ I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”
“ Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”
“ My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”
“ I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”
“ I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”
“ Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”
“ Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”
“ Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”
“ girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”
“ BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”
“ I just gave your address to some spiders! ”
“ I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”
“ I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”
“ Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”
“ I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”
“ Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”
“ I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”
“ I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”
“ Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”
“ Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”
“ Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”
“ If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”
“ Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”
“ Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”
“ Swag is earned, not learned. ”
“ Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”
“ I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”
“ Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”
“ If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”
“ Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”
“ I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”
“ It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”
“ Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”
“ At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”
“ Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”
“ Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”
“ One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”
“ On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”
“ My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”
“ I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”
“ Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”
“ I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”
“ Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”
“ I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”
“ I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”
“ Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”
“ Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”
“ I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”
“ I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”
“ Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”
“ i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”
#askbox meme#askbox prompt#rp ask meme#ask box#roleplay sentence meme#sentence starters#roleplay prompts#roleplay sentence starters#* sentence meme#rpc help
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If Not With You - N.S
Pairing | Neteyam Sully x Human Reader
Word Count | 19k, whoops.
Genre | Acquaintances to lovers? Fluff, they're both dumb and can't drop a hint to save their life, SMUT.
Summary | Neteyam never understood you, and he doesn't think he ever will. Your skin is a different color than his, you're a solid 5 feet shorter than him, your native language is different than his, he could go on forever. He doesn't think he'll ever understand, until he watches you struggle with a knife for 10 minutes and graciously offers his services to you. Suddenly, he's bitten off more than he realizes.
Index | Bickering back and forth, the reader takes every chance she can get to be snarky, Neteyam does too though, purring Neteyam, two idiots in love, smut, creampie, soft!dom Neteyam (service dom kind of), a brief mention of breeding lol. Let me know if I missed anything that should be noted!
You confuse Neteyam in almost all aspects of your being. You’re human, so painfully alien as you run around the high grounds, scurrying to climb around the home tree to the best of your ability, scurrying to provide his grandmother with herbs for the wounded. So painfully human as you sit on the ground, weaving clothes 3 times your size for protection for warriors during time of battle. Painfully human as you cling to Kiri’s ikran (it’s the “least scary” you say) when you join foraging trips, not used to flying. And so painfully human despite having an Avatar sleeping less than 20 feet away, perfectly fine and ready to be used. His father had mentioned something about you not feeling comfortable or welcomed in your avatar body, not taught how to use it properly yet, somehow feeling more accepted as a human.
You’ve lived your entire life here as a human, mostly. You were given your avatar more recently within the last couple of years, the Avatar taking a while to fully grow and become yours. Still, he’s maybe only seen it once. You wear the clothes, join the songs, dance in the festivals, forage and gather, weave, fish, help the wounded, everything you can physically do, you do. Because of your size, you sometimes struggle with preparing, gathering, and foraging through the forest. It takes you much more effort and time to scale fallen logs and rocks than others. It’s never made any sense, it still doesn’t to him. As you prepare a sturmbeest with some of the others for tonight’s meal, you bewilder him even more.
“Here, let me help you.” Neteyam offers quickly as he sees you struggling to cut. He's afraid you’re going to slip and hurt yourself, the effort it takes to cut makes your hands shake where they hold your blade. It would be no issue in your avatar body, he’s sure of it but he doesn’t bring it up. After cutting through the hard part, he’s quick to hand you back the small knife to avoid taking over your village duty. “You know if-“
“If I was in my Avatar body I’d be able to do it?” You finish his sentence, glancing up at him. While you quickly divert your gaze, he catches the small look of shame you have before you return to the task that requires all your attention.
“No, no. I was going to say if you need help, you can just call again.” He smiles, shaking his head softly. At this, you can’t help but jokingly scoff at him.
“But you were thinking about it.”
“Hmmm, I was not! You have no proof.”
“That’s how everyone thinks, it’s fine to admit it Neteyam.” You chuckle, resuming your complete focus on the sturmbeest you’re more determined than ever to cut up now thanks to him. “Plus, shouldn’t you be preparing for the meal? Making sure everyone is accounted for and what not.” You're essentially telling him to get back to his tasks.
“I am, making sure you’re accounted for. The way you’re wielding that knife I'm afraid you’ll go missing.” He teases you, pointing out the amount of effort you’re using to cut through the meat. “Also, if you don’t mind me asking since you brought it up, FYI, why aren’t you in your Avatar?”
You sigh, and for a brief moment Neteyam thinks he’s overstepped his welcome. “No one really taught me how to use it. I suppose it’s all the same mechanics as controlling myself, but to an extent I don't feel connected. Your father said he felt the same at first, and offered to teach me but got busy with olo'eyktan duties, which is understandable. I haven't felt comfortable enough to ask him, it takes a lot of time that I'm sure he doesn’t have, you know?”
“I can help you.” Neteyam offers before he has a chance to rethink it.
“I think you’re also too busy, future olo'eyktan .” You turn your attention to him for a brief moment before resuming. “Plus, it’s not the culture or village life. I've grown up here, I understand that much. It’s the connection, and being in my body. I don't think you’d understand what I mean.”
“I think you just need practice in a safe area where you don't have to worry. I can be your lookout while you get used to your body, who better than me?” Neteyam’s confidence grows as he offers you his gracious services. His smirk threatens to fall a bit as you glare up at him, but he’s determined to convince you regardless.
“Your dad.” He interrupts your train of thought with a pained expression, making you giggle. “But I suppose since he’s unavailable, you’re the next best option.”
“Ouch.” He jokes, placing a hand over his heart. “So we'll start tomorrow, little human?” He cheekily adds, beginning to step away from you to return to his head counting job.
He smiles softly as you stick your tongue at him, turning back to finish your job as well. His heart beats hard in his chest, his adrenaline slowly beginning to run off as he checks to make sure everything is going as it should. As he sits next to his mother, the slight panic begins to settle in as he waits for you to join the feast.
His mother notices the odd, out of place, anxious energy from her son. He’s not usually like this, his demeanor is off. “Neteyam?” She asks, nudging him softly.
Neteyam faces her with more confidence now, attempting to get his mood back. “Yes, mother?”
“Are you feeling okay?” She reaches out for a brief moment, pressing her hand against his forehead. At this, he smiles softly before pushing her hand away by the wrist. She smiles softly at him, returning to talking to the others. Small cheers erupt as everyone begins to bring in the food, carrying trays and trays of food. He catches a small glimpse of you, following behind the others carrying trays. You’re not carrying anything, preoccupied with cleaning your knife before placing it back on your hip. You settle down behind most of the others, allowing others to get their food before you. He’s extremely observant of you now, he always has been, but it’s even more now.
Dinner goes by as always, everyone talking, joking, telling stories with one another. You conversate every now and then, happily listening to stories that the other villagers tell you about hunts and raids they have been on. He feels hyper aware of your presence now, watching as a tail jokingly wraps around your waist and knocks you off balance. You smile, jokingly hitting the other people while saying something he can't pick up. Your smile is pretty, so pretty.
It almost feels impossible tearing his eyes away, but eventually he does. He begins to actually engage in his family conversation, listening to his mother and fathers stories. He can't wait for the next day to come, fighting to fall asleep. It feels like hours before he dozes off.
Neteyam is grabbed by his father before he can actually slip away, a firm hand on his shoulder stopping all of his momentum. “Where are you off to?” His father asks, tugging slightly to turn him around to face him. Neteyam groans in his head, tail flicking slightly behind him. His ears quickly pin down as a reflex.
“To the labs.” He answers plainly, hoping his father just lets him go with no further questioning. It’s all hopeful thinking, he knows that he will be questioned further. He wants to go, you’re probably waiting for him there now. You’re always on time, never keeping anyone else waiting on you for too long.
“For what? Are you not coming on watch today?” Jake asks, the grip on his shoulder tightening slightly. Neteyams ears flatten further, tail flicking more aggressively.
“I promised someone I would help them in the lab.” Neteyam answers. “I will be back later today.”
“Later today?!” Jake asks, releasing him in return for putting his hands on his hips. At the commotion, Neytiri comes out to see what’s going on. Jake gives her the rundown, “He is skipping watch to help the labs.” At this, Neteyam groans softly, the description not at all accurate or reflecting him.
“Sa’nok,” Neteyam mumbles softly, “I promised,”
“He hasn’t missed a watch in weeks.” Neytiri points out. “He’s also helping someone, he doesn’t need to come on every watch. Go, Neteyam.”
At this, he bows softly before hightailing it out of the area as quickly as possible. He thanks Eywa for his mother intervening, moving as quickly as possible to get to the labs. Sure enough, you’re waiting for him inside. You seem agitated already, sitting on one of the tables as you swing your legs back and forth. He’s quickly apologizing for keeping you waiting, explaining his situation as quickly as possible.
“It’s okay, Nete.” You shrug, hopping down and walking over to the pods, known as link units. “Are you sure you want to do this? I’m gonna look like a baby deer and complain the entire time.” You whine, trying to convince him otherwise.
“Are you trying to get me not to, or do you not want to? It sounds like you don’t want to.”
“I’m scared.” You admit, sighing softly. Neteyam offers a solemn expression, encouraging you softly as he pops open the link pod. He helps you climb in, offering a hand as you hop backwards into the memory foam. The beads on your chest cover clink loudly at the momentum, filling the otherwise silent lab. Max enters the lab, late, but still there. You trust him the most to help you link and check all of your vitals, others making you too nervous.
“I’m going to come and get you once I make sure you link, where is your Avatar?” Neteyam asks as you lay down, holding the top of the pod as he leans down to talk with you. Your breathing is irregular, nerves shaking you to your cure. “I will be there, Y/n, to get you. I’ll be there for every step.”
“My Avatar is all the way at the high camp.” You tell him, “I’ll wait for you though.”
“I’ll be there, as fast as possible.” He ensures you, stepping away to let Max do his job to link you to your Avatar. Neteyam fiddles with the oxygen mask around his neck, playing with the strings as he watches you get settled in. As the pod closes, he turns to the screens that show your vitals. Your breathing is increased, but Max explains that’s to be expected when someone hasn’t linked for a while, “Normal nerves,” He calls them.
“She should be in, I would hurry to make sure she's not freaking out.” And Neteyam does. He doesn’t think he’s ever flown as fast before, his ikran cutting through the air. He gets to high camp as fast as possible, running to the Avatar sleeping area. You’re sitting up, playing with your hands as you wait for him.
“Y/n! Look at you! You look like me.” Neteyam beams happily, running over to you. He helps you up, offering his hand as you stand. You stand easily, but still have a look of uneasiness written across your face. He notices your ears remain down, pinned back with worry. Every now and then, they’ll perk up for the briefest moment before going back. Cute. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I feel fine, I just think I'm a bit hungry since I haven't been in this body for a while.” You explain, beginning to walk through the Avatar area. Your Avatar reminds him of his siblings, five fingers and toes, eyebrows, etc. You’re walking fine, a bit wobbly on certain areas of uneven terrain, checking a couple of times behind you to make sure he’s close. The camp is busy as always, people running around to fulfill their duties. You navigate the commotion easily though, heading over to the edge of the base.
“Are you okay to fly?” Neteyam asks, clicking and calling out to his ikran. You nod, shakily, but still saying yes. His ikran is quick to land on the rocks, calming down as Neteyam connects his tswin and readies to mount. He gets on first, reaching to grab your hand and help you sling your leg over. “You can use the saddle and the hold here.” Neteyam speaks, guiding you to sit. He reaches around you, holding your hand and wrapping it around the leather hold. The strong animal flaps his wings underneath you, making your nerves set in as you already begin slipping off to one side.
“You’re okay, It’ll get easier once he’s moving.” He reassures you, using one arm to wrap around your waist, pulling you back upright. A small blush spreads across your face, your bodies extremely close to one another as he’s focused on your well-being.
“What about you? Are you going to be okay with flying?” You ask, seeing as he has no secure hold. He’s not using the saddle, nor the holds.
“Yes, I will be okay.” He reassures, holding where his tswin is connected. You trust him, and you trust his ability to fly more than anyone else. Even still, nerves bubble in your chest. “I’ll fly as carefully as possible for you, just hold on, okay?”
“Yes, I will.” You nod, tightening the hold on the leather underneath your palms. Even though you prepared yourself, the shriek that leaves your body as his ikran drops is involuntary. You can hear Neteyam’s faint chuckle in your ear, leaning forward as he guides his ikran. His hair brushes along your shoulder as he leans forward, goosebumps spreading across your arms. His arm tightens the slightest bit around your waist, ensuring you don’t lean too far forward and lose your balance. “Where are we heading?” You yell over your shoulder, the wind loud in your ears.
“To find you something to eat!” Neteyam calls back, “We’ll be walking around the forest, give you some time to get used to your body without anyone else being around to pressure you.”
You nod, looking forward to observe where you’re going. Neteyam flies as smoothly as possible for you, communicating to his ikran to stay calm as much as possible. The forest is extremely dense, flying through the trees and hanging vines with expert skill. Neteyam once again chuckles as he sees your grip tighten, both on the leather hold and your legs where they squeeze his ikran for purchase. Landing, the jungle is dense as he hops down.
You land right after, the grass underneath your feet soft and plush. “Are we finding fruit?” You smile, beginning to trail off from him. Neteyam has to hide the smile, unconnecting as he dismisses his Seze. The grass is so soft underneath your feet, each step cushiony. You’re good at foraging, using all your skills and knowledge you’ve learned over the years. “Here, Nete,” You smile softly, handing him two fruits. Neteyam becomes your Navi basket, arms carrying everything you collect. He's more than happy to follow you around, eventually coaxing you to come sit once you’ve got enough.
“You need to eat,” Neteyam says, soft but firm as he begins making his way to the river. He finds a soft area of grass, plopping down before softly letting the fruits follow. You join, watching Neteyam carefully as he dips the fruits into the river, cleaning them before handing them over with a big smile. “They’ll taste even better in this body,” He almost promises.
And they do. They genuinely do.Your taste buds are alive and so heightened, a small smile pulling at the corner of your lips as you eat. “It’s good,” You grin, devouring the fruits that your body so desperately needs, gaining some semblance of energy back.
“Do you still feel okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s still weird, I know it’s me, but it doesn’t feel like me. Moving is weird, everything is a conscious effort.” You try to explain to him.
“Does that include your ears being down?” He asks, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips as he teases softly. “It's cute, don’t get me wrong, but not normal.”
Once again, you have to consciously pull your ears up like the natural position they’re held at. When you forget, they fall back down. Neteyam pins his ears, signaling to you that you’re doing it again. It works perfectly, your ears perking up once more.
“See? It’s too hard.” You smile, “We should just go back, say we tried hard.” You plead, making him laugh. You know he’d never, too much determination and pride in his chest to ever allow it.
“You just need more time in this body, I’m sure of it.” Neteyam answers, shaking his head no as you whine. “We haven’t even got you running yet.”
At this you groan, flopping backwards on the soft grass as you complain. You quickly get lost in it, the ground so soft, the sun so warm on your skin. It's comforting, much needed vitamin D.
Despite ALL of your complaining, which was a lot, your body does prove more efficient than your human body. It moves through the terrain easier, scales the rocks and jumps over the fallen trees with no problem, runs as if it was made to do only that. Climbing was nothing you've ever wanted to do until now, and you find yourself playing in the trees like a child again. Climbing as a human is too hard, but this is easy, so it’s FUN.
“Neteyam! You’re not joining!” You call from treetop, Neteyam watching carefully from the ground. He follows along when you stray too far, watching with careful eyes. It's endearing, how careful he is.
“It's okay, you’re doing great!” He calls happily.
You take it as enough confirmation that he’s okay with what’s happening, you having fun while he remains down there. Soon enough, he’s running on the ground to keep up with you. Not that he minds, he has the stamina for it. “Are you having fun!?” He happily calls, splashing through a shallow river as he follows you.
“Yes! This is amazing,” You answer before beginning to come down. Your hands and feet are sore, unused to the rough nature of aggressive use. You don’t pay much attention, joining Neteyam in the cool water of the river, finding some relief. “It's nice, feels nice.”
Neteyam fights off the urge to say “I told you so,” instead providing you with encouraging praise. Neteyam wants to teach you everything, he almost itches for it. He's already making a list in his head of everything he could offer you that you don’t know in this body.
Hunting, riding, flying, swimming, scaling home tree, fighting if you’d like, archery. You know how to weave, arguably better than him, so that’s not something he can claim he taught. Along with foraging and gathering, healing, you also know the dances and songs, and basic craft skills that he can’t claim credit for. But what he can, he will. For today though, he lets you run, and play, and frolic through the grass. He follows you, never losing sight of his surroundings. He'll provide some knowledge here and there, but nothing too crazy.
You’re exhausted as the sun begins to set, leaning against Neteyams seated body. “We should head back,” You mumble, praying he’ll let you go back this time. He agrees, not wanting to stay out too late for the creatures that come out.
“We should, we can eat with the people,” He sees another learning opportunity. He stands, leaving you to support your own weight. You watch as he clicks and calls, his ikran coming down soon after. You can feel the exhaustion from the soon-ride, getting up with a grunt.
“What if I just hold onto you?” It’s a real question, you’re trying to find out if that would be more or less tiring.
“If you'd like,” He blushes the slightest bit as he faces away from you. Neteyam gets on first, now sitting on the saddle and holding the leather hold. He helps you climb behind him, “You still sure?” He asks, double checking with you since you have no secure holds. Your arms wrap tightly around his waist, torsos flush together. You can hold here, and with your legs.
“Yes, this is okay,” It feels slightly unsafe compared to the saddle, but it’s less taxing on your body. You also can’t see much over his frame, but you don’t mind. “Thank you, Neteyam, it’s fun,” You talk with him. Your voice vibrates off him, bouncing off his skin.
“Of course,” He beams even though you can’t see it. You arrive at the home tree soon enough, high in the trees where the ikrans stay. Neteyam leads you to the people for dinner, extremely careful that you don’t lose your balance in the high branches. When you have to hop down a considerable amount, he’s extra careful, going first as an example. He waits each time for you, always ready to catch if he ever needs to. With a relieved breath, he doesn’t need to, and you both make it to dinner without a hitch.
“Sa’nok, Sempul,” Neteyam greets his family, bringing his hand to his forehead. You immediately follow along, greeting the leaders of your clan. “Would you mind Y/n eating with us tonight?”
“Oh, no no it’s okay. I wouldn’t want to intrude-“
“Of course,” Jake smiles happily, genuinely excited to see you in your Avatar body. His hand lands softly onto your shoulder, examining your body. “How’s it feeling?”
“Good! Good. It’s a lot of fun,” You smile, giving him a brief overview of your day spent doing nothing but pushing it. He grins, remembering his own days of running with his body for the first time. He tells you the story, beckoning you to sit with his family as he does so. You do, sitting next to Neteyam and Kiri. You know Kiri well, always working together in the healer's hut with her and Tsahìk.
You know Lo’ak as well, but the two of you don’t talk much besides brief, common interactions. Regardless, you have nothing against him. And Tuk? Tuk is just adorable. You briefly remember gifting her an ikran toy when she was younger, handmade by you. You’re sure she has no recollection of it, much too young. But you don’t mind at all. You all share stories, you mainly listen as you don’t have many that are as exciting as theirs. Neytiri’s intrigue you the most, ears naturally perking up every time she speaks about something.
Neteyam notices, a small smile spreading across his face as he eats. They flatten when silence takes over the conversation, obviously uncomfortable. The night wraps up like always, but Neteyam is sure to check on not only your Avatar, but also your human body. He makes sure both of your forms get to bed safely before he returns to his family's area, settling in.
The days turn into weeks of getting used to your body. Neteyam teaches you everything he can, everything that comes to mind. You’re surprisingly good at archery, but guilt kills you when hunting. Even with the knowledge of clean, respectful kills, it’s not your favorite. Riding also comes natural to you, connecting with Pa’li as if you were born native. You become comfortable in your Avatar body, trusting your body’s movements and mind. You run, scale, leap, climb, crawl, swim, everything as if you were born in this body. As you land clean kill after clean kill, and join in on the hunting festivals, Neteyam begins to push you softly in the direction of iknimaya, taming your ikran.
“Neteyam, it’s scary.” You defend yourself as you prepare meat for tonight’s dinner. Your Avatar body slices through easily, never struggling for more than a couple of moments. “They’re scary.”
“I know, I know.” He sighs, “But-“
“Neteyam, I don’t want to talk about it right now. It’s scary, and I could die.”
“You can die at any time.“ You send him a strong glare, ending the conversation without another word being shared with each other. You’re done talking about it for tonight, placing the meat on a serving platter. You don’t talk about it for a while, going on about your lessons and training, learning more and more each day.
You’re out in the forest, a routine day unfolding. Your body and mind feel like yours, Neteyam also begins to wander away from you further and further. If it comes down to it, you can defend yourself to some extent. He's doing just that when a blood curdling scream rips through the forest, catching his attention immediately. His feet are moving faster than his brain, running.
“NETEYAM!” You scream again, feet remaining planted firm in front of the animal in front of you. Your heartbeat is rapid as you stare down the creature, trying to figure out its next course of action. Stepping a couple of feet back, your fingers immediately begin to reach for the knife that’s secured across your chest. “It’s not moving, Nete. I don’t know what to do.” You speak, more calmly now as the palulukan has made no action to pursue you yet. Still, you unsheathe your knife just in case. It wouldn’t help much if it attacked, but it gives you some peace of mind for the current circumstances.
“Is it not pursuing?” Neteyam asks, and you can hear his faint footsteps running to get to you in the distance. It’s still in the same place it was, still staring at you.
“No! It’s just staring at me!” You yell back, trying to hold your ground as much as possible. Your knees shake the slightest bit, which you try to calm. If you turn and run, you could possibly outsmart it. However, as soon as you turn you’re sure it would immediately begin its pursuit on you. Neteyam eventually finds you, keeping his distance as he accesses the situation as much as possible.
“I know what I’m going to say, you will not like-“
“Nete!”
“I know, I know! But step up to it. Slowly, you’re not pouncing on her, but stepping up.” You want to scream at him, it sounds like a stupid idea. However, you don’t think there’s anyone you trust more with your general well-being than him. “Trust me! If something happens, I'm right behind you, jumping in.”
“You promise?” You never break your eye contact, but you know Neteyam is staring directly at you. Taking a step, you can hear the faint “Promise” that Neteyam mumbles out softly. Another step comes, and the creature still hasn’t moved a single inch from where you were first confronted by it. Now you’re in attacking distance again, if you reached fully out you would surely touch it on the head. For the first time, it moved. It leans down, and it takes everything in your willpower to not start instinctively booking it at the first sign of movement, “Neteyam?”
“Tsaheylu, make the bond. She’s offering to you.” Neteyam explains, stepping a bit closer as the tense environment of the situation has lessened. “It’s okay, she’s submitting to you, Y/n.”
You’re still too afraid to break eye contact to look at Neteyam, your eyes never leaving her as you reach back for your kuru. As soon as the tsaheylu is made, a rush of relief washes over you. “Thank Eywa, thank Eywa,” You mumble, walking to its side and swinging yourself over the animal. Your heartbeat calms down with the animals, and you finally are able to feel her strength and power. She's unlike anything else you've ridden, not a ikran, not pa’li. Once you’re fully bonded, Neteyam feels safe enough to approach.
“Scary?” He giggles, his hand coming to rest on your calf where it sits on the palulukan’s side. You can feel his thumb run across your skin comfortingly, making you smile as you face away from him.
“Just a bit, she feels…kind?” You ask, despite him having no idea. “Her thoughts, her power and strength, is kind?”
“I see, you feel her? You’re getting the hang of this whole, tsaheylu, kuru thing.” He smiles at you, walking behind you and hopping on. Even at the sudden movement, she still doesn’t think of any harm or reaction in a negative manner. You absolutely beam, reaching forward and petting the space at her forehead essentially. “Should I hold on?” Neteyam chuckles behind you.
“Oh yes, 100%. Strong.” Is all you offer him before beginning to move, just walking but still feeling the absolute power she holds.
“I trust you.” Neteyam smiles, leaning forward to wrap his arms around your waist. The contact makes your face flush hot, immediately pushing it away from your thoughts as you begin to run, easily jumping and clearing anything in the forest floor. Once again, it’s a completely different ride than you’re used to, you and Neteyam whooping, laughing, and shrieking when you particularly jerk and almost slide off. Slowing to a stop, you find yourself at the edge of the river. You gently rub her shoulder in warning as you slide off, patting her gently. You break the tsaheylu, watching in case she flees. Instead, she stays, drinks water, settles down with the both of you where you sit on the soft grass.
“What about her family?” You ask Neteyam as if he would know the answer. Neteyam shrugs softly, unsure himself. He has no answer for this, logically.
“She seems to want you more.”
“I see,”
“Y/n, you are more than ready for iknimaya,”
There’s a loud sigh filling the peace of the forest. You hum, finally giving in. “Fine, Neteyam.” You sigh, watching as the thanator creeps towards you, laying down next to where you’re seated. “I’ll complete my iknimaya.” You nod, finalizing your statement.
“The next trip is in one week,”
You nod. You have one week to fully prepare yourself and the people around you. If anything, you’ll retreat at the first sign you can’t do it. Still, you dread the trip.
You and Neteyam decide not to bring your thanator back, scared of the commotion she may cause. You promise to return to her in the forest in the opening you met at, bidding her goodbye in the meantime. With one final reassuring pet, she runs off.
The days creep by, anxiety beginning to find its hold over you for your upcoming rite of passage completion.
“It's my day off from lessons, Neteyam!” You poke your tongue out at him as he peels open your hammock, giving you no other option but to fully wake up. The hammock, suspended on two branches of the home tree, sways hazardously as he kneels down. He's almost, he is, towering over your human form like this, poking and prodding you until you get up.
“Just because it’s your day off doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. What, I have to make reservations now?” Neteyam jokes, beaming at you as you finally rise, easily jumping onto a nearby branch to get going. Even as you stretch out completely, he’s a solid 3 feet taller than you still. “I was thinking we can just chill today, though. Nothing crazy, no village duties.”
“Your father let you off village duties?”
“Well no, but-“
“He’s gonna end up hating me.” It’s half joking, half not. You stop walking, instead turning around to face him. “Go back,” You chuckle, pushing Neteyam’s stomach. There’s enough force for little imprints to appear in his skin, but not nearly enough to move the giant. “I'm serious, he’s gonna start blaming me for you being absent all the time.”
“Hmmm,” Neteyam pretends to think for a moment, tapping his bottom lip. “No.” Before you have a chance to react, Neteyam easily grabs both of your wrists in one palm. With one easy motion, you’re being swung through the air before landing on his back. He chuckles as you smack his shoulder for endangering your life like that, swinging you over the open area of the home tree sleeping area. (Even though you know he’d never drop you, even accidentally.) “C’mon, don’t worry about him. I'll be the one answering anyway.”
“I’m serious, you’re gonna get yourself in trouble. Like Lo’ak.” You chuckle, and he scoffs at the accusations.
“Never in a million years,” While the two of you talk, Neteyam easily scales the home tree and arrives at the ikrans in no time at all. “Plus, we can’t get in trouble if he can’t find me.”
“This is stupid, and you know it.” You smile hard despite all your scolding, a specialness filling your chest that Neteyam would want to spend your days with you, even though it meant trouble for him. Once again, he nonchalantly shakes his head before calling down his ikran, quickly calming her for your sake.
“Come on, we only have all day.” He jokes, offering his palm for you to climb up. You still hate flying, especially as a human just because of the size and how scary trying to hold on is. (Balance isn’t your thing and Neteyam is basically an expert flyer, aka, crazy ass flyer.) Still, you suck it up as he takes you to your destination. It's a familiar area, pretty river, pretty flowers, and nearby fruit trees that you’re for sure going to devour when the time comes.
You beam, hopping down before Neteyam and running over to dip your feet in the clear water. If Neteyams is lucky, you won’t start a water fight the moment he walks over. He approaches with caution, attacked one too many times to not be. Even as no attack ensures, he’s still sure to sit down carefully in case there’s some other sneak attack waiting around the corner.
Instead, you both sit and watch the water for a bit. It’s a comfortable silence, a shared one at that. “I made you something.” You speak softly, finally breaking the silence, nerves flashing across your face when Neteyam doesn’t look over right away. “Just a small thing, nothing serious.”
“Sorry, the fish over there- you were saying?”
“I made you something.”
“No, no-“
“It’s already made, it’d be rude to not accept it.” You chuckle, beginning to dig through your medicinal pouch (That’s supposed to be used for plants and herbs.) Neteyam watches carefully as you pull out a riding visor, carefully braided and woven to very little details. The small wings that make up the visor are in perfect condition, not even a small crack on them.
“I know you have one, but I feel bad about the wings I broke on it.” You chuckle, handing it over to him. You were once riding with him in your human form and felt uneasy. As you slipped off to one side, you instinctively reached up to him, breaking the fragile protective wings on his visor. As you place it in his hands, your hands linger against one another’s for just a moment too long before you pull away. “And one more thing.”
“You shouldn’t have-“
“I wanted to, Neteyam. In my free time, or days where we couldn’t practice because you had work.” You interrupt him, watching the soft smile slowly spread across his face. “This is your last gift, so don’t get all excited, it’s nothing crazy.”
“I will get excited, it’s from you.” Neteyam hums softly, watching as you prepare to present your gift.
“Shut your eyes, don’t open until I say.”
“How is that fair!”
“Warriors honor!! Shut your eyes!” You giggle loudly, standing up next to Neteyam. You’re not much taller than him even when he sits, but neither of you mention it. “No peeking, or else I'm taking it back.”
“Fineee,” He sighs, finally following along with your shenanigans. Finally, you pull out your gift. It’s a simple necklace in theory, however you modeled its design after traditional warrior necklaces that have gone out of trend in recent years. Small goosebumps spread across Neteyam’s skin as your fingertips graze his skin, jumping slightly as you gently move his kuru.
“Sorry, sorry.” You quickly apologize, watching as the goosebumps spread across his nape. You didn’t even think before you did it, out of instinct. You finish quickly after that, wanting to put some distance in between you two. “Look in the water.”
He does, a giant smile spread across his face when he finds your eyes again. “You made this for me?”
“Of course, who else?” You giggle, reaching out to run your fingers across the beads. Neteyam catches your forearm before you have a chance to move away once more, accidentally jerking you forward into his arms. You land with a huff, Neteyam quickly wrapping you in his embrace. So small compared to him, fitting in his arms like nothing at all. Your skin is so soft against his, his fingertips easily making small indents in your arms where he holds you close.
“Thank you Y/n.” Neteyam mumbles softly, eyes falling shut as he gets lost in holding you, your scent, your voice. His eyes peel open the slightest bit as you begin to shuffle, preparing to release you as soon as you make a move to. Instead, you’re reaching up, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hug him close. Your knees are resting on his thighs, having to kneel in order to even reach. He can feel your beaded top against his chest, feel your heartbeat if he focuses hard enough on it. He’s sure you can feel his too, now beating a million miles a second.
“Of course, a warrior necklace for a mighty warrior,” You mumble, almost directly into his ear unintentionally, goosebumps spreading all along his body. He shudders, making you pull back softly, peering at him with a careful look. Suddenly, he’s even more aware of the proximity and you on his lap.
“Sorry, I just got a chill. Must be because my father is looking for me,” He smiles, covering up for himself. You laugh softly, carefully climbing off and sitting back by the river. You lay down, sun washing over your skin. Neteyam’s eyes soak it all in, not a sight that’s very common. He joins you after a bit, talking about any random topic that comes to mind.
“Nete, can I ask you something weird?”
“Anything,”
“What does your kuru feel like? I'm not sure if it’s different for me, but you seem to be much more sensitive.” You ask softly, scared of overstepping your welcome when it comes to his teaching.
As he lays next to you, he’s acutely aware of how much larger his frame is. “Hm, I suppose I am sensitive. But only when I want to be, with people I want to be.” He answers, hinting slightly. He's more than aware it’s going to fly over your head.
“Uhm. When Na’vi chooses their mate, and they, uhm mate, is it the same tsaheylu as our bond with animals? With our mounts?”
“Hmm, I'm not sure. I haven’t been there yet.” He chuckles softly, but still does his best to answer. “I suppose they are connected in the same way, but you cannot control them as if you are on a mount. You cannot think about going, and expect the other to go. It’s more of a spiritual connection, being completely with the other. I suppose we also feel the other's sensations and emotions, but control is not the aspect of it.”
“Why are you so sensitive with yours?”
“It is my nervous system, if I wasn’t something would be seriously wrong.” He answers sarcastically, making the both of you laugh.
A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, your eyes closing as you soak up the sun.
“Neteyam?”
“Hm?”
“I'm scared.” It’s vulnerable and the truth, you’re terrified. “If I fall, will you catch me?” You’re completely dead serious, terrified of falling off the cliff.
“Of course, I'll fly Seze.” He promises you. You sigh, nodding your head.
The day slips through your grasp before you can even hold onto it for a second, night quickly approaching. You and Neteyam slowly make your way back to home tree, you much slower, as you purposely get further and further behind. Neteyam knows, and he could definitely guess why you’re acting so strange. He doesn’t push you, just slows down his pace tenfold to allow you to catch up and even pass him. Ever so observant, he watches as your fists clench tight as your feet come to a gradual stop.
“Neteyam, spend tonight with me.” You rush, quickly. You quickly turn around to peer up at him, catching the small smile that’s already pulling at the corners of his mouth. Your fists are still clenched as you wait for his response to your borderline demand.
“It doesn’t sound like you’re asking, demanding the future Olo'eyktan around?” Neteyam boasts, jokingly puffing out his chest before he’s dropping into a squat to be more eye-level with your form. “Y/n?”
You almost knock him off balance as you ambush him, smaller body crashing against his as your arms fly around his neck. He regains his composure just as quickly, arms wrapping around you. “I'm scared.” You mumble against his ear, goosebumps shooting down his spine. “Just in case something happens.” You continue to mumble, borderline against his skin. “I want to spend tonight with you.” Your arms never loosen their hold, not giving him much leeway.
“Nothing will happen, Y/n.” He reassures you, easily picking up both of your body weight as he stands. He doesn’t pry you away, instead he wraps his arms around your torso as he easily carries you through the branches. “I promise, you will do amazing.” He fights to reassure you, lips brushing against your ear.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do, I do.” He giggles softly, finally arriving at the sleeping hammocks after what feels like forever. (The close proximity is going straight to his head.) “You need rest though, my mighty warrior.” Neteyam gives you a wide grin as you pull away, smiling back softly at him. “I won’t leave you, if that’s what you want.'' He carefully maneuvers your weight into one arm, the other assisting him as he climbs into the hammock. Laying on his back, a content sigh slips through your lips as you rest on his chest.
“Neteyam, if I fail, what will you do?” You mumble, avoiding his gaze as your head never lifts as you speak to him.
“I will catch you.” He answers back almost immediately, not missing a single beat. It makes you smile, reassures you, calms your nerves just the slightest bit as he promises.
“Neteyam?”
“You're supposed to shut your eyes, syulang.” He teases as you continue your questioning.
“Can we go to the labs?” It's now Neteyam’s turn to ask questions, you never want to be in the lab. Never once have you asked to go there.
“Huh?”
“My mask is annoying, I'm getting used to not having it on.” Okay, he supposes that makes sense. Eases his nerves that you’re falling into your more human side than that of the culture and of the people. He lets out a puff of air he didn’t realize he was holding, climbing onto his feet carefully with you still in his arms. He wobbles like an idiot climbing out, regaining his balance once his feet hit the tree branch.
As always, Neteyam moves swiftly despite your weight remaining fixed to his back. You're tired, slowly slipping further and further down, making it hard for him to move as easily. “Y/n, you’re killing me,” Neteyam chuckles softly, reaching behind him to pull you up his back. He easily drops you onto his shoulders, continuing the fast pace he was previously at. He’s dumb, he definitely did not think this one through. Each movement has your legs clenching tightly, scared to fall from so high up. He can feel your warmth, so close. Each time you shuffle, he can smell you, so close it’s making him dizzy. Mustering all his strength up, he pushes on.
He thanks Eywa under his breath when he sets you down, still feeling the warmth on his shoulders where you once were. He hums softly as he grabs a mask, fiddling with the annoying thing as he places it over his head. He watches as you happily rip off your mask, rubbing at the red lines it left behind on your face. The lab is empty, everyone out for the night, likely sleeping up at high camp with the Avatar lab. Neteyam follows you loosely as you wander around, eventually slipping into a room. It’s small, for Neteyam. However, for you, the bed is giant as you plop dead in the middle of it.
“Neteyammm,” You sing-song to him, beckoning him over on the small bed. He curls and concorts, knees coming up as you lay almost encircled by him. Your face is engulfed in a smile, hands reaching up to play with his hair. “Maybe after I become a warrior I’ll rebraid your hair. You’ve been so busy.” You mumble softly, continuing to play softly with it. Your fingers brush over his kuru, a shudder running down his spine before he can stop it. You’re so close, smell so good, so warm, it makes him 100% more sensitive, he thinks. “Sorry, sorry,” Your hands retract just as fast as his reaction happened.
“No, no, it’s okay.” He reacts, stopping your hand before it has the chance to fully leave his head. “It’s okay, it’s not bad. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re curious, it’s okay.”
“Neteyam,”
“It’s okay,” He smiles softly, gently placing your hand back where it once was. He encourages you to do whatever you’d like, bending to your every will. He would, he does. Another shudder runs down his spine when your little hands graze over it once more, goosebumps spreading along his skin. He can see the apprehension on your face, uncertainty. “It doesn’t hurt, syulang. It’s just sensitive, a new feeling.” He hums, pressing his face into your neck, hiding the blush that begins to spread across his face and ears.
You fill up his senses entirely, and he likes it. He wants you to. He bites back a softly whimper when your fingers trail down the braid, nose flat against your skin as he inhales. He can feel you warm up, feel himself warm up as well. His kuru seeks out your touch almost, wrapping around your fingers before you even realize it. Trying to make some form of tsaheylu, likely. Your fingers twitch slightly through the exposed part of his nerves, gaining confidence as you brush through them carefully, watching for any pained noises. Neteyam cant bite back the whimper when you carefully wrap your fingers around it, entangling back. He pitifully moans against your skin, embarrassment coursing through his veins as he refuses to meet your eyes.
“You need to rest, mighty.” Neyetam hums against your skin, afraid if he glances into your eyes now it would be too much for him, he’d give in. Another shiver runs, this time just from the thought of you, your skin, the proximity of your bodies as he curls around your form on the bed. “Let’s rest for tomorrow.” He can feel you nod, carefully moving your hands away from his kuru. He’s about to mourn the loss of contact, maybe even complain, before you’re running your fingers with his braids, holding his head close. Everything is good.
You thank Eywa for the blessing that makes Neteyam not look at you, you’d surely be read like a book. Face red, lips bitten bright red, slick with saliva. Thank Eywa.
You wake up with dread, genuine dread. Terror racks your body the whole trip. Not at the thought of scaling the mountain, or climbing the vines. At the thought of failing. Neteyam has so much faith in you, you don’t know what you’d do if you were to fail. You can almost feel the disappointment rolling from him. Shaking the thought from your head, you continue climbing the hard rock, pulling yourself out of autopilot. Neteyam whoops every now and then, encouraging you and the other group of warriors you’ve traveled with. It's nice, knowing he’s close, but terrifying at the same time.
As you come to the opening of the cave, just before you cross over, your heart drops. Seze comes into your view, landing and allowing Neteyam off.
He presses his fingers to his forehead, greeting everyone in the surrounding area. You all follow along, greeting your future leader. “I will not be watching, I'll be on lookout. Just in case.” He announces to the group, watching as the dread still doesn’t leave your face. He announces you’ll go last, trying to make you feel better. It fails, miserably. But you don’t tell him.
When it’s finally your turn, he comes back to the mountain, beginning to carefully walk you underneath the waterfall. People have failed today, scurrying back underneath the water in a desperate attempt to miss the near-death attack. They all come back ashamed, disappointed, and you’ve done your best to reassure them. Of course, some also succeeded, flying off with loud cheers and chants cheering them on.
“Neteyam, if I think I’m going to die, I am going back.” It’s dead serious, eyes dead serious, as you stare back at him. You’re scared, and he knows it, but you’re trying desperately to hide it all. “I don’t want you to be disappointed, but I'm scared.”
“I understand,” Neteyam nods, “I am not going further, I have to get back to Seze. I will be close,” You know he will, you know it. Carefully inching closer, most of the ikrans are already scattered, scared off by ten other hunters. The entire process is a blur, fear and adrenaline taking over your mind. You can barely remember what happened as you force your tsaheylu to connect, terrified pants calming out.
You briefly hear Neteyam’s chants fill your ears, hands pressing against your face in excitement. “What happened?” It's a genuine question. You can’t remember.
“Once you captured it, it did not fight. You didn’t have to lock it down.” He answers, a crazy look coming over his face as if he’s realizing something. As the adrenaline begins to mellow out, your brain begins working again.
“I have to fly, Neteyam move,” You demand, his hands still carefully holding your head in his palms as he forces you to look at him.
“Yes, yes. Fly, I’ll follow.” He smiles, ducking out of the way. He can hear the shriek that leaves your lips as you take off, the sound bouncing off the nearby rock. His feet are sprinting as quickly as possible over the wet rock, finding Seze and taking off just as quickly to search for you. You’re doing decent, still shaky, but alive when he finds you. You grieve the absence of a proper saddle and hold, Neteyam more than aware as he laughs at you.
“IT'S HARD!” You scream over the wind, voice just barely making its way to his ears.
“YOU DID IT!” He’s screaming back, a giant smile plastered across his face. The hours tick by quicker than he would’ve liked, signaling for you to follow as he leads you back to home tree. He supposes it’s because you went last, the time seemingly running past him. As you land in the top branches of the home tree, your unsteady legs buckle as you make contact with the mossy branch, toppling down.
“I’m tired,” Is all you offer, disconnecting your kuru as you allow your ikran to perch wherever she pleases. Neteyam lets out a hearty laugh as he reaches to pick you back up.
“You did it, I told you you were ready,” He smiles, the smile taking up his entire face. His arms wrap around you, pulling you into his embrace in a flurry. Your legs still feel weak, but you muster enough strength to wrap your arms back around him. “Come, we must meet with the others for dinner, announce it to the clan,” He blurts, excitement running through his veins for you. A giant smile spreads across your face as you agree, following him down with interlocked pinkies.
As you make it down, Neteyam lets out a loud whoop, announcing your success. Cheers and chants follow, everyone beginning to congratulate and praise you. Your official ceremony will be held in a week, commemorating and celebrating your achievement of having your place within the people. Neteyam is busy telling everyone the story, voice bubbling with excitement, growing in volume as he gets to the good parts. You beam beside him, listening. You couldn’t tell it anyway, you partially blanked.
Some of the elder members of the clan have a look you can’t quite decipher, unsure of what it means. You choose not to ask, scared of getting an answer you don’t actually want. For once, you choose ignorance.
Eventually the commotion begins to die down, everyone beginning to eat as usual. Neteyam practically begs you to eat with them as always, but Neytiri has the same look that so many others have given you. “Thank you, Nete, but I’m really worn out,” You offer softly, placing your hand on his bicep to try and calm him. He offers you a sad, kicked puppy look, but it didn’t work. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” You smile, beginning to make your way back to the hammocks.
“Child,'' Neytiri speaks softly once you depart, swooping Neteyam away for a brief moment. He knows he’s going to get some sort of lecture, good or bad, so he follows without saying another word. “She is special, no?” She asks, plain and simple. They both know the answer to this, Neteyam’s ears pinning in worry.
“…No.” Fear leads him as he lies.
“Neteyam.” It is kind but firm.
“She has something.” Is all he offers. He doesn’t know what it really is, but he knows it’s something. “Does that matter?” He avoids her gaze in worry.
“No, no. It doesn't matter. But it's something to be noted and watched, you know that.” She speaks, gently placing her hands on his shoulders. “Is she something special…to you?” She asks delicately, placing a careful hand over his heart as she asks.
“I'm…not sure.” He answers honestly.
Neytiri nods. She also knows the answer to that question, but figured she’d ask anyway. “Come, my child, let’s eat.” She smiles warmly, leading him back. He earns a lot of “ouuuus” from his siblings when he gets back, assuming he got in trouble.
He hisses softly, resuming his natural place with his family as he begins eating.
The days once again fly by before he can even think too long about it, a sturmbeest hunt following just days after your iknimaya.
“Come with us, Y/n,” Neteyam pleads alongside Lo’ak, begging you to come to the hunt with them. Your small human frame is still wiping the sleep from your eyes, glaring up at him as you devour your fruit. You pop your mask back on as you chew, the mask becoming more and more frustrating as you grow accustomed to your Avatar body.
“I can't hunt and fly at the same time, I'm not good at flying yet.” You answer genuinely, allowing your neck to relax as you look down, no longer peering up.
“You can be our lookout,” Lo’ak offers, also wanting you desperately to come along. He knows he hasn’t talked to you much, and as he watches his brother fall head over heels for you, he’s determined to grow closer.
You huff loudly, eyes still all squinty from sleep. You struggle up to your feet, the two blue boys giant next to you. “I'll meet you guys by the ikrans,” You whine, beginning to lazily make your way to the labs for link.
“Yay yay yay!” Lo’ak and Neteyam chant, easily lifting you and absolutely spriting you to the labs. You scream and laugh, body jostled around as if you weighed absolutely nothing to them. Your ribs hurt from laughing as they arrive at the shack, placing you down in front of the front door. They usher you inside.
“We’ll be at the tree,” Neteyam smiles, waving as you step inside. They both take off before the door even closes all the way. You can only laugh as you imagine them going crazy, sprinting up the tree branches. Just as you imagined, when you finally get up there, both boys are panting and disheveled, bowed over at the hips as they fight for air.
“Skxawngs,” You laugh wildly, a giant smile on your face as you call your ikran down. She’s calm as you connect, quickly rising and falling backwards as you wait for the other two.
The hunt goes smoothly as possible. Some shots are always missed, some Navi and their pa’li are always knocked over, some sturmbeests are wounded but not killed, always a tragedy. You watch Neteyam and Lo’ak very closely, terrified that one of them was going to get themselves in some sort of trouble or hurt. Neteyam lands a hit on one, the arrow not deep enough to kill the giant male just get. You’re a considerable distance ahead, flying further in front.
“Y/N, SHOOT! THE BIG MALE!” His voice screams to you, wanting to put the animal down with as little pain as possible. You let out an annoyed growl as you draw your bow as quickly as possible, using the wind to whip back as quickly as possible. Your arrow is aimed and shot quickly, the male about to run past where you’re flying, charging wildly. Your arrow hits on the same area, successfully knocking the prize winner down.
You, Neteyam, and Lo’ak cheer loudly, flying quickly next to one another as the adrenaline courses through your veins. Lo’ak screams in english, Neteyam in Navi, and you in a weird mix of the two. You're met by the people with loud calls and cheers, celebration soon to be underway as you bring in the prize kills.
“Y/n, come to the ceremony with me tonight.” Neteyam calls you softly as you feed your ikran, tending carefully to her. He watches as you loosen the saddle and reins, allowing your ikran to have more ability and flexibility while you’re not riding.
“The ceremony, with you? Are you courting me?” You chuckle softly. You know the culture, he knows you know the culture. Even at your accusation, the both of you giggle and brush it aside.
“You? Of course not. I'm giving you the gracious opportunity to take your Avatar to a ceremony, and just so happen to go with the clan leader's son.”
“Uhhhh huh.”
“Seriously, you’d be missing out if you don’t.”
“Fine, I suppose I will.”
The night is hectic, fermented juice being passed around like no one’s business, dance, games, and food all being shared among the clans members. You’re a topic of conversation, everyone inquiring about your appearance in your Avatar and not how you normally show up. Even still, it’s a good time. Everything goes generally as planned, until Tarsen approaches you later in the night, smooth voice talking with you.
He's sweet, and you suppose he’s just as accomplished as Neteyam in terms of earning their place within the clan. You know he’s respectful and hardworking, but besides that you’ve never really talked to him.
“You look very beautiful tonight.” A giant smile spreads across your face before you even have a chance to stop it fully. “Please, allow me to get a drink with you.” You have no chance in hell, nodding like an idiot as he takes your hand to help you up off your seat. The drinks are strong, making you warm in seconds flat.
“How is the ceremony going for you, Tarsem?” You smile softly, turning to listen to his answer. He steps a bit closer as he talks to you, leaning forward to tell you about his day in your ear. There’s small goosebumps spreading across your arms from the proximity, listening nevertheless to him. It takes a lot of effort to not jump when his tail comes to wrap around your waist, a classic courting gesture. He's bragging to you about his kill in the hunt, and your mind begins to wander to yours and Neteyam’s joint kill.
“Y/n?” You turn to find the voice, losing your balance temporarily as you search. “Can I have this dance?” Neteyam appears out of nowhere, standing up straighter and broad in front of you.
“Nete! Of course!” Once again, your balance falters as you step towards him. You quickly mumble a string of apologies to Tarsem, promising to come back as you excuse yourself from him. Neteyam’s chest rumbles as you fall towards him, finally breaking free of Tarsem’s hold on your waist. “Let's go!”
He waits until you get away from the table to speak once again, “Are you drunk? You’ve been drinking?”
“Yes, well no. Tarsem wanted to drink with me, but that’s it.” You struggle, beginning to make your way over to the clan's traditional dance line. Your hand reaches for Neteyam, pulling him along to follow. He stands in place, solid as a rock despite your pleading. Your costume makes soft clicking sounds as the beads and feathers move, a pretty hanging assortment that Neteyam had gifted you. Before arriving at the ceremony, you realized you had no ceremony outfits for your Avatar, only for your human body. It sits on your shoulders, connecting at your wrists to almost resemble wings hanging down.
“And his tail?” His jaw is clenched hard.
“Neteyam? What’s wrong?” You finally give up trying to pull him to the dance, it’s clear he doesn’t actually care to dance at this moment. There's a small frown on your face that Neteyam threatens to crumble under. He pulls his composure together, reaching out and pulling you close by your elbow.
“He was courting after you, and you let him.” Neteyam mumbles, eyes searching yours for answers.
“I didn't think you’d mind…you said we were just going to give me a chance to use my Avatar, Nete.” You sigh, confusion evident. “You’re confusing me, really badly. I don't understand why you’re upset. Please, can we just dance??”
Neteyam once again doesn’t budge. Even in your Avatar body, his strength easily overpowers yours and he’s suddenly an unmoving force. The two of you are away from the crowd, able to talk more freely and hide from any peering eyes. “Would you have continued?” Neteyam grits, unable to hold eye contact with you as he peers down.
“What do you mean? What are you accusing me of?”
“Would you have mated?”
“Neteyam! What are you on about?” You slur your speech, balance losing temporarily as you fall forward into him. He catches you despite technically being upset. “I’m not mating with anybody, the person I want doesn't want me. He told me so today,” You drunkenly babble, arms wrapping around his neck as you hold yourself up. “Told me he won’t go to the ceremony with me in that way, doesn’t want to court me.” Your costume tangles with him as his arms come to wrap around your waist, the proximity going to his head.
“He told you that, huh?” Neteyam feels his face heat, knowing who you’re talking about. You lift slightly onto your tiptoes, pushing yourself closer against his chest. “I think you should tell him that.”
“Hmmm, I don’t know,” Your words came out mumbled, “He’s a really busy guy, you know? Don’t wanna be an inconvenience.” You continue, and Neteyam can feel his heart contract a bit.
“You’re not an inconvenience.”
“Hmmm,” You hum, goosebumps sprouting against his skin. “Can we dance, Nete. Please?” You ask again, beginning to untangle yourself from him. He mourns the loss of closeness, holding tight to your hand in his. Your face is bright pink, but you still lock eyes with him. “Come, let’s dance in the ceremony,” You softly pull, this time Neteyam moves with, giving in. The two of you dance and sing, play some of the games, share food as you begin to settle down for the night. You’re holding the leaf on your lap, you and Neteyam both picking from it here and there.
Unknown to you, Tarsem is making his way over, ready to ask about your promise of returning to him. Neteyam locks eyes, giving him a heavy glare that’s almost unmistakable even in an inebriated state. To solidify his claim, he’s moving closer to you, legs now pressed together, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. He gets the message loud and clear, turning around and beginning to make his way elsewhere.
“Nete, I’m tired,” You call his attention back without realizing, head falling onto his shoulder. “Can I go back to home tree? You can stay if you need to, future Olo'eyktan,” You smile, beginning to stand as you hand him the leaf in case he’s sticking around. “I’ll see you for our lessons, yeah?”
“I’ll walk you back,” He’s quick to offer, wanting to make sure you get back safely, and by yourself. Neteyam does as promised, safely walking you back to home tree to allow your Avatar to rest. He thinks hard, would your human body remember what you said and did? Are you going to steer clear of him now? You’re beyond wobbly, scaring Neteyam half to death as you wobble side to side on the tree branches. Your body has enough muscle memory to easily guide you to the hammock, still, Neteyam gasps hard as you freely jump into an open one. “Oh Eywa! Y/n!” He scolds.
You laugh softly, peering up at him. “Goodnight, Nete. Get back safe okay?” You lazily smile, gently pulling at the edge of the leaf to cover yourself. You’re out quickly, body exhausted. Neteyam is now racing on foot to the lab to check on human you.
“Y/n?” He calls as he walks through the lab, struggling with the mask as he holds it.
“Neteyam? You should probably get back to the ceremony,” You mumble, stretching your legs and arms out. He smiles softly as the beads clink together, “People are probably waiting on you.”
“Yeah, but you should get some rest. I wanted to make sure you’re okay, you drank a lot.”
“I suppose it doesn’t cross over, that’d be weird if it did. I don’t remember much though,” You smile, a bit embarrassed that you can’t remember the ceremony that Neteyam took you to.
“I see, I see.” He nods, “Here, I’ll run you up to home tree so you can get some sleep.” Neteyam smiles as he offers, turning around and squatting to offer his back. You climb on, wrapping your legs around his torso as much as possible given his size. Neteyam takes you there easily, jumping, climbing, and scaling the tree with little to no difference with you on him. He's careful as he climbs into a leaf, allowing you to climb off of his back. You laugh as he wobbles in it as he tries to get up around you.
“Careful, you’ll knock both of us out,” You smile, grabbing his arm where he’s trying to push himself up without leaning too far to one side. He can only balance with both arms, awkwardly placed on either side of your head, your smaller frame engulfed by his much bigger one.
Neteyam makes the mistake of looking, his body easily covering yours entirely, your face bright red as you bite on your lips, avoiding eye contact. Your small hand grips hard as you balance yourself, not helping. He's so close he can practically smell the heat rolling off of you. “Sorry, Sorry! I’m just, this is, it’s fragile,” He stutters, his own face warming. He wants to stay here, like this, with you. He's sure you can see the blush on his ears, stuttering like an idiot when he accidentally looks in between both of your bodies. But he can’t, so he reluctantly climbs away, barely making it to the tree branch. “I’ll see you soon,” He grits out, closing the hammock for you.
Neteyam knows he should go back to the ceremony, make his rounds as the chief's son. But he has a bigger issue at hand, said issue? In between his legs.
Your’s and the other warrior’s ceremony is quick to come, your body being painted traditionally for it. White paint is drug along your torso and face, finger paths making pretty even lines. You begged Kiri to help you, knowing she’d be the most careful and intricate. As she drags her fingers over your lips, the both of you giggle wildly. Tuk, who joined the both of you for fun, stares at you with stars in her eyes.
“Y/n, I have a gift for you,” Kiri speaks, springing up and running off. She comes back quickly. She comes back with a decently sized box. “It’s for tonight.”
Your heart aches as you open it, a giant smile spread across your face. “You didn’t have to-“
“It's not just from me.”
Its beautiful ceremonial pieces, bottoms, a top, accessories galore, and a few pieces to decorate your hair with. “Most were woven and made by Neteyam,” Kiri almost whispers, a knowing smile spread across her face at the confession.
“I see…” You smile, trying to avoid the blush that threatens to come across you. Kiri is very receptive, even more so to you since she’s known you for so long. “They’re beautiful, I’ll be sure to talk to him and thank him later tonight,”
Kiri smiles, “I'm sure he’d like that a lot.” She nods, climbing to her feet. She offers her hands, helping you up. “Me and Tuk will leave you to get ready,”
You thank her repeatedly as she leaves. You kiss the top of Tuk’s head goodbye when she complains about leaving, promising her you’ll see her later. Getting changed makes your stomach flip wildly, nerves beginning to set in for the night. Everyone is busy with their preparations, running wildly around the tree. Dressed and painted, you make your way down.
Neteyam spots you immediately, having to run off to help with preparations. His mind is filled with you, just the brief glimpse he caught. He tells himself to distance himself, too scared that once he’s in your grasp he won’t be able to break himself away. He watches the entire night, eyes never once leaving your frame. Hours fly by like minutes, too entranced in the way you dance, speak, sing, smile, interact, everything about you. You can feel his stare, burning into your skin. He watches as you join in the dances, accept praise and congratulations, turn down courting and mate offers left and right. His eyes never leave once.
“Sa’nu,” Neteyam soft voice catches Neytiri’s attention, quickly walking off with him. Far enough away from everyone else, Neteyam speaks freely. “I am going to ask Y/n to be my mate tonight.” His voice is firm and strong. He's not asking in the slightest, he is telling her.
Neytiri nods softly, fighting the smile that pulls at the corner of her lips. “She will make a good mate for you, my eldest.” He smiles, reaching to softly cup his face.
Neteyam nods, “I know.” The two of them walk back to the party, Neteyam standing much stronger, more confident as he searches for you once again.
“Syulang,” Neteyam calls, watching as your head immediately turns towards him. His heart beats hard. “Are you having fun?” He asks softly when you make your way over, a glow radiating off of you.
“Yes, I am. Are you having fun?” You smile back, sitting with him on one of the logs.
“Yes, I am.” He nods.
“Watching me? Because I haven't seen you do much else,” You tease softly, leaning forward towards him as you speak. It’s the truth, he hasn’t done much else.
“Yes, making sure you’re safe,” He nods, coming up with an excuse that’s semi-believable.
“My warrior, forever and always being my lookout,” You grin at him, thinking about when he first promised to be your extra set of eyes, keeping you out of harm's reach. A couple of braids fall from behind his ear as he shuffles slightly. Before you’re thinking, you reach forward, gently tucking them behind his ear.
The grin on his face is irreplaceable, his hand gently reaching for your wrist before you can pull away. He softly pulls your hand down, kissing the pads of your fingers softly. “Y/n? I want to show you something, whenever you’re ready to go.” He gently releases your wrist after pressing another kiss to your pinky, your extra finger that makes you different.
Your mind goes numb, essentially, eyes widening as you stare at the man in front of you. “Ye-yes. I was going to get going soon anyway,” You mumble, not entirely the truth but you digress. He grins, a love-sick grin as he’s the first to get up. He offers his palm, smiling even more when you take it.
“You are one of the people now, physically and spiritually now.” Neteyam begins as the two of you run through the forest, taking turns passing one another in brief sprints. The two of you laugh like dummies, leaping and hopping over logs. “Eywa has heard you, acknowledged you.” He continues, slowing his pace when he approaches his destination. It's the tree of voices, a place you know from stories and pictures. You’ve never visited yourself, never being able to connect or truly listen. “These trees are our people. We connect with them through here, hear their voices, listen to their stories.” Neteyam speaks softly as he walks through the trees. “It is one of our most sacred places. It is our memories, our history.”
Neteyam’s voice is honey to your ears, watching his actions closely. His movements stop, reaching to gather a few of the branches and bringing them to himself. Reaching for his braid, he connects his tswin. You watch him, unsure of if you should follow. Neteyam smiles, nodding towards you to follow when you don’t immediately mirror him. You follow, connecting. It’s different than anything else, your pupils grow giant, listening to the voices, stories, songs. Goosebumps grow all along your body, eyes falling closed as you listen to the advice of mothers passed down for thousands of generations.
“Y/n,” Neteyam speaks softly, hands gently taking your elbows in his hold. Your eyes peel open, gently pulling your kuru away. “I have a gift for you,”
“Neteyam-“
“It’s already made.” He uses your own logic against you from the past. You giggle softly, following him to the soft grass when he sits. He tenderly presents a necklace in his palms, holding it with both hands as he presents it to you. “It’s for you, marking our training together.” Neteyam explains nervously, feeling his tail flick wildly behind him in anxiety.
“You shouldn’t have, you already made me my outfit Nete.” Your voice grows soft as you scooch closer to him, leaning in to examine the necklace in his hands.
“This is the first day, where we spent all day in the forest. This is when you learned archery, your first clean kill, bonding with Midnight, your iknimaya, your kill in the sturmbeest festival, your celebration tonight.” He explains each of the beads, face warming as you continue to draw closer to one another. There's one remaining, a soft pink stone.
“Which is this one?” You ask, reaching and pointing.
“This one…is to represent tonight,” Neteyam mumbles, extremely soft. Your eyes catch one another’s for a brief moment, breaking off when you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “The trees, the people, us.”
“Neteyam, it’s too sweet,” Your voice is smooth and heavenly to him, hands holding his bicep firmly. You then release him, turning your back so he can place it onto you. His touch makes goosebumps spread anywhere they brush, a shudder going down your spine. Your fingers reach to feel it, “It’s perfect, Nete,” You mumble as you turn back and face him. Your hands find his shoulders naturally, eyes connecting.
“I see you, Y/n.” He mumbles, hands once again falling to hold your arms where they rest on him.
“Neteyam, you see me, I see you.” You mumble softly, your hands gently cupping his face in your palms as you shuffle closer to where he’s kneeled. He smiles, leaning his head into your hold and almost nuzzling into you. There's a rumble in his chest, a purr as you always call it, as he feels so completely intent in your hold. He always denies purring with a passion when anyone else brings it up, but you, sure, he’d purr for you. “Nete, I see you.” You speak again, sitting so close that your knees are between one another.
“You’ve grown up here, you know the culture. After coming of age, all of the people are permitted to make their bow or weapon, and find their mate if they wish to." Neteyam speaks softly to you, pressing his forehead to yours. “You may do this as you wish, with whoever you wish.” Neteyam’s chest tightens as his mind goes to Tarsem.
“With whoever I wish?” You ask softly, pulling your head back slightly. Neteyam looks confused, eyes squinting in confusion at your move. “What are the conditions of, “whoever?” I feel that some people are definitely off limits.”
“Who is off limits to you?” Neteyam mumbles, his hands dropping down from your elbows to the ground behind him, holding his torso up.
“Hmmmm,” You pretend to think for a couple of moments, tapping your chin as Neteyam makes himself comfortable, now sitting as he rests on his palms. He looks especially handsome, the smallest look of smugness on his face. He’s almost beckoning you closer, inviting you onto his lap as he sprawls out in front of you. “Olo'eyktan, he’s definitely off limits. Hmmm, I think the future Olo'eyktan is also off limits.”
“Yeah? Did he tell you that it’s off limits?” His confidence grows even more, chest booming. Finally, he reaches forward, hands finding your waist and finally pulling you close once more. Your knees are on either side of his thighs, hovering over his lap. “I think that the future Olo'eyktan has already chosen his mate though, a very special person, someone who he didn’t think he’d be with right now.” Neteyam speaks gently as he continues to pull you close, allowing you to sit on his lap.
“So if he’s already chosen his mate, then he IS off limits.” You continue the game you’re playing, a giant smile spread across your face as your thumb rubs along his cheek. Finally caving in, you speak again “You really think the future Olo'eyktan would want to be with me? A little human?” You giggle like a school girl gossiping, pretending that you weren’t talking directly to him.
“I think he would, definitely. In fact, I know he would.” Neteyam speaks, leaning forward and gently connecting your lips. You pause for a moment to relish in the moment, soft lips pressed against one another, breathing mixing together. You’re the first to move, sliding your lips against his. You can feel the rumbling growing in Neteyam’s chest, the purring that you love so much coming out. Moving closer, your chests press flush together, his arms wrapping around your back.
The kiss consumes you, lights your skin on fire as his palms trail along your skin. It feels like your oxygen has been stolen from your lungs, Neteyam greedily taking it as he kisses you harder. Your hands find the back of his head, pulling him closer if it’s even possible at this point. You break the kiss, panting heavily as you fight to fill your lungs with air.
“Nete, I can't. I can't be Tsahìk, I cannot lead the people.” You pull away, hands still cupping his face. Neteyam presses his cheek into your hold, a gentle smile plastered across his face. Your heart aches, thumbs gently rubbing across his cheeks. “You should look elsewhere-“
“You have a bond with Eywa, I see her with you all the time. You and the forest, her children, your mount, they are all special. You can. You have helped my grandmother from the day she allowed you to, you know how to heal and help. But if you don’t wish to, we will be simple weavers together-“
“Don’t.” Your voice cuts him off.
“Okay, hunters,”
“Neteyam!”
“Songwriters?”
“You have worked your whole life training, ensuring your place as leader. You will likely take over in just a few years time. I will not let you throw it away for me.”
“I don't want to lead the people, if not with you.” He answers completely honestly, leaning forward to press your forehead together. “That life is not worth living.” His eyes fall closed as he relishes the feeling of your hold, holding him so closely, so delicately. “It is not the life I want. I don’t want to lead if you’re not by my side.”
“Only if you want to, no pressure,” Neteyam mumbles against your lips. One of his palms leaves your skin, instead beginning to reach behind him for his tswin. He pulls it over his shoulder, resting it there and waiting for your reaction. Reaching back for yours, it’s a choice you’ve already made long before now. “Y/n, I see you.” Neteyam mumbles, trailing down his braid and watching as you mirror him. “I see you, I see every form of you, every body, my sweet mate.'' Connecting your kuru’s sends electricity down your spine, both of your pupils dilating as the connection is sealed, releasing your kurus.
“Neteyam,” You mumble, hands immediately wrapping themselves around him and pulling him as close as possible. Your breathing is heavy, chest heaving against his as you stare into his eyes, both of your pupils giant. Your lips crash together, body seated securely on Neteyam’s lap as he pulls you close. “I need you, haaa fuck, I need you Neteyam.” You whine softly against his lips, pulling roughly on the ties around his hips.
“I know, paskalin, I know.” Neteyam mumbles against your lips, reaching down to pull your hands back up. He places a soft kiss on your palm, “Relax, pretty. Wanna make you feel good, please you.” Neteyam speaks, hands wrapping around to hold your back. He's extremely strong, pushing both of your weights up to gently place you on your back.
“Neteyam,” You whine, reaching back to try to pull at his ties. He easily dodges your prying fingers, pinning your hands to the soft moss underneath you.
“Patience, Y/n,” He speaks softly but firm, “Want to do it right, want to mate you right,” He mumbles, beginning to kiss along your skin. An involuntarily whimper leaves when he makes his way down your neck, slowly getting closer and closer to where you need his touch. You pull softly on his grip, unable to break it. “Make you feel good, so you never want anyone else,”
“I don’t, never Neteyam,” Your voice breaks off into a whine as he nips at the soft flesh on your chest, reaching to untie your top. Goosebumps spread across your skin as he touches as he pleases, hands trailing from your thighs, up to your breast, and then back down to your thighs. Teasing, he’s teasing you. You whine as you squeeze his hips in between your thighs, pulling him closer. “I’ve only ever wanted you.”
“You mean that?” He asks softly as he carefully takes a breast in his mouth, tongue gently lapping. He watches your reaction, gauges what you don’t like and do, and adjusts all of his movements perfectly. As he nips, a small cry falls past his lips. “You didn’t answer me, yawne.”
“Yes, yes I mean that.” You answer, body steadily heating as he makes his way in between your thighs, kneading the soft flesh.
“So soft.” He bums to you, placing his head on your thighs as if they were a pillow. He's still teasing, unmoving as he looks up at you from where you want him.
“Nete,” Your voice breaks, reaching down to pull softly at his braids, growing impatient. His palms rub along your skin soothingly, moving from your outer thighs, up to your hips where he grabs and holds. “Please, take it off,” You plead as be toys with the ties on the side of your hip, twirling them around his finger.
“Of course, pretty.” Neteyam finally caves in, pulling your loincloth off carefully. You feel his heartbeat increase, pupils growing even more. Your adrenaline masks your embarrassment, wanting him more than ever. Neteyam peers up at you, a smirk playing on his lips as he watches your reaction. His breath fans over you, making your thighs tighten where they sit on his shoulders. “So pretty, so beautiful.” He mumbles, lightly licking along your heat.
You can feel the lightning shoot up your back, a moan ripping through your throat. You can feel him inhale hard, nose pressed flat against your skin as he breathes in deeply. “Neteyam! Don’t!”
“Too good,” He ignores you, breathing in your scent in deep, greedy gulps. He ignores your whining, face buried as deep as possible into your cunt.
“Neteyam, you need to rel-AH!” His arms wrap tight around your waist, dragging you along the ground. He pulls your hips easily up to his face, now kneeling and sitting on his feet. “Eywa, Nete,” A moan travels through the trees as you balance on your upper back, hands reaching down to grab his knees to try and talk sense into him. Your nails dig where they can reach, Neteyam lost to you as he licks, sucks, and flicks along your clit with ease you would expect from someone experienced.
“Need you,” He moans into your pussy, only worsening your circumstances as he sends you closer to the edge. He moans into you, enjoying eating you out as if he was being pleasured currently. Your moans are impossible to hold back, whimpering, moaning, and crying out his name. “Taste better than, fuck, anything I’ve ever bad,” He growls, tightening his hold, folding his arms more.
It’s ridiculous, how you’re positioned, completely helpless from his assault. Your knees are resting on his shoulder, accidentally flexing and sending you grinding against his face, a loud moan coming from both of you. “Do it again, ride my face,” Neteyam growls softly.
You whimper as you do so, flexing your legs and consistently pulling your pussy across his face. When your legs begin shaking too badly to continue at the same pace, he picks up the slack for you. “Going to cum,” You cry, nails digging in deeper, beginning to break skin. He doesn’t even register the pain, desperate to get you there.
“Cum, cum on my tongue,” He growls, never slowing his ministrations. You whimper as he pushes you closer and closer, legs beginning to tighten around his head.
“Cumming, Nete,” You cry, head falling against the soft moss as you do so. Your legs tighten around his head, holding him there as you ride out the orgasm. They finally loosen when the overstimulation kicks in, unable to remain locked down.
“So good, so pretty for me,” Neteyam coos, carefully moving your body so you’re once again laying flat on the ground. His palms soothe over your thighs, rubbing the shakes out where they sit around his hips. “So good, such a perfect mate for me, such a perfect girl,” He mumbles.
“Nete, need you,” You whine, using the last bit of your strength to sit up. Your hands push softly at his shoulders, switching the positions as you straddle his hips once more. His loin cloth is stretched, body wanting you more than he could ever tell you. Your lips crash against his, tasting yourself on his face. Heat immediately spreads across your cheeks, slight embarrassment, as you fumble with his ties. This time, he lets you.
“You okay, pretty?” Neteyam coos as you untie him, eyes never leaving your face. His hands slide along your hips, making their way in between your thighs once again. “Are you going to be able to take me, hmm?” His voice has a slight teasing tone, but you know there’s concern underneath it as well. Your head falls forward as he slowly sinks a finger into your heat, allowing your face to nestle in his shoulder.
“I want you, Neteyam. I want your cock,” You complain softly, body aching with want.
“I know, but I don't want you to hurt yourself,'' Neteyam has a purr rumbling in his chest. He cares for you, so deeply, even as he tortures himself with the amount of restraint he’s exercising. Another whine is pulled past your lips as another finger slips in, curling to hit just right. “There it is, there you go,” Neteyam coos as you turn to putty in his hold, fingers exactly where you need him. He stretches you thoroughly, to his liking. Pleasure shoots through your spine, mind melting. “Okay, you got this,” He smiles at you, fingers rubbing comforting circles on your hips.
Your shaky hands line him up, excitement and nerves shooting through your body. Your breathing is uneven as you sink down, panting as you sink down to the base, hips pressed together. “Fuck, fuck,” Neteyam pants, one of his hands holding your hips and encouraging you to grind against him. It draws soft moans from the two of you, the spiritual and physical connection between the two of you making your mind feel fuzzy, almost numb. “You’re doing so good for me, my sweet mate. Taking me so well, taking it so well.” He encourages, gently rocking up into you.
“My mate, my mighty warrior.” You pant, gathering all of the strength you still have to rock yourself along his cock, doing your best to take all of him each time. Neteyam feels feral as you pant on top of him, thighs shaking on either side of his hips. Only he can make you feel like this, only he can see you in this state, all for him. You’re taking him so well, so warm and welcoming as you coax him inside with each thrust. You’re so close, holding his body completely flush against yours. All of his senses are full of you, one hand holding your back and the other has a death grip on your hip.
“So good to me, all for me, only for me.” Neteyam continues to encourage you, your whimpers and mewls filling his ears as you hide in his shoulder. Possessiveness grows, consumes him as you shudder into him, his sweet mate. He's never felt like this, his skin hot, a strong desire growing in his chest.
“Want to cum, Nete.” You’re so sensitive, so hot just because of him. You whimper, words slurred as you fight to think even the slightest bit straight. Your arms are wrapped around him for purchase, the only thing providing you stability as you grind down on his cock. Your small whimpers and moans fill your ears, making you flush red in embarrassment. Biting them back, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip is the best you can manage. Neteyam picks it up instantly, both due to your connection and his ears alerting him.
“What is it, my mate?” Neteyam draws, not able to use the term enough. “Not feeling good anymore?” The confidence and smugness oozes from each work, he knows the answers to his questions before he even asks. “Don’t want to give me your little whines anymore?” Neteyam knows what he’s doing, punctuating the end of his sentence with a gentle snap up of his hips. A broken sob falls from your lips, mewls and whines quickly following it. “There she is, are you going to come for me? Let me hear you, yawne. Use me to make yourself feel good, pretty.”
His voice is intoxicating, feels like you’re on drugs as you pant and whine on top of him. Your hips grind down, no longer bouncing as you whimper as his tip repeatedly hits where you want him, where you need him. Neteyam happily allows you, fondness growing stronger as you do as you please, following his instructions. It doesn’t feel as good to him this way, but god damn it, seeing you in this state easily makes up for it.
“Feels good, hm?” He asks softly, words muffled by your hair as you pull him close. One hand slides down, gently circling the little bud that he knows makes you tick.
“Ah, ah, gonna cum for you, Nete,” Your voice mewls, soft pants breaking up your words as you ride him how you like. Your thighs are shaking worse now, chasing your high like nothing else matters. “Can I cum, please?”
“Of course,” His abs clench hard as he fights off his orgasm, your pussy clenching hard around him as you become more sensitive. His restraint is wearing thin, patience being tested like never before. As you teeter closer, his fingers circle just the slightest bit faster. And you’re cumming around him, hard. His own lips part with a moan as you squeeze his length, shaky thighs continuing to move as your determination to ride it out takes over. Your pants fill his senses, heartbeat filling his own chest, minds molding together.
Eventually, your hips slow, one hand quickly grabbing and pulling his wrist away from your heat. “Nete,” You whimper, squeezing around him. Your arms wrap around his back, chests flush together. “Want you to feel good,”
“I am, yawne.” Neteyam smiles at you, rolling his hips up into you. “Wanted you to feel good, first.'' His voice is gentle as he maneuvers the both of you. Your back hits the ground once again, Neteyam still in between your thighs as he follows close. “Absolutely killing me, doing all I can to hold myself back,” A small growl rumbles through his chest, pressing his hips against you, filling you as deep as possible. “Absolutely losing it,” He growls as he pulls out, snapping his hips forward. You moan, loud.
“Don’t hold back, feel good, Neteyam.” You whimper, his palms slipping underneath your thighs. Your breath catches as he hikes your legs up, hands meeting the bend of your knees as he folds you.
“I'm sorry, yawne,” Neteyam moans softly, pressing his forehead against yours as he absolutely ravishes you. His hips snap hard into you, no longer holding back as he chases his own release. You moan loudly against his lips, not quite kissing, but lips brushing together. He groans and growls, eyes falling shut as he slams his hips into you, filling your cunt completely up each time.
Your noises are unrelenting, unable to bite them back as pleasure shoots through your body with each thrust. Neteyam is feral, chasing the high that he’s edged himself off of for the last hour. “Neteyam, gonna cum, you feel too good,” You whimper, biting at your lips as you peel your eyes open to look at him. Your arms shakily move, clawing softly at his back.
“Cum, cum for me.” Neteyam mumbles, “Gonna cum with you this time, okay paskalin?” He asks softly, pressing a shaky kiss to your cheek. His hips twitch and abs tighten as he focuses on how tight you’re wrapped around him, twitching and clenching down harder as you’re about to cum for him once more. “Gonna fill you up, okay? Put a future clan leader into you,” He groans harshly, feral, animalistic. “My baby, you’ll be a good mama for me,”
“Nete, oh fuck,” You cry, cumming hard around his cock. A broken sob falls from your lips, face leaning forward. Before you even have a moment to think of it, your teeth sink deep into his shoulder, your mating bite. Neteyam shudders as you mark him, hips continuing as he fucks you through your orgasm, soon spilling into you.
“Fuck, fuck yawne, good girl,” Neteyam groans, letting go of one of your legs and holding your head. He doesn’t pull you away, but relieves the strain on your neck as you bite into him. His hips slow, every now and then thrusting into you as he fucks his cum deeper into your pussy.
You release your hold, pulling your fangs out of his skin. Laying back down, there’s blood and drool on your lips, eyes glazed over as you stare up at him. Neteyam lazily thrusts once or twice more, overstimulation kicking in before he’s slowly pulling out. “Paskalin, you okay?” He mumbles gently, carefully moving your legs to a more comfortable position. Kissing your forehead, you begin to come back, more aware of his words. “You did so well,”
“Neteyam, I see you,” You can’t help but smile at him. Your heart is so full, so fond, as your eyes water. “I love you,” It’s more human, Neteyam isn’t entirely familiar with it.
“I love you too,” Regardless, he doesn’t miss a beat, “I see you.” Neteyam nuzzles his face into you, arms wrapping around your back as he lays down, pulling you close. “We are mated for life, I am with you now.”
little extra lol
A couple of days have passed since then, and Neteyam has never felt so secure and confident in his life. His father was a bit upset he didn’t get the run down before like his mother did, but nothing serious. Kiri and Lo’ak saw it coming, and Tuk? She’s just as excited as Neteyam. You’ve started your official Tsahìk training now, alongside copious amounts of support from the Sully family.
While he is your #1 supporter, he can’t help but feel annoyed that he’s barely seen you the last couple of days. His mate, and they only meet after sunset for rest. He hasn’t even seen your little human body in days, always falling asleep with your Avatar and your human form staying at the lab (It’s easier, you start training extremely early in the morning.)
He almost cries from relief when you wake him, small human body basically sitting on his chest. “Nete, I have a day off,” You grin, still shaking him slightly. The excitement quickly shoots south, but in a surprising way. He can feel your heartbeat, it’s as if you were back to the night you had officially become one. But you were human.
“Y/n?” He mumbles, thinking he’s still half asleep. As he sits up and becomes more aware, he’s not imagining it. “I see you,”
“I see you-“
“No, I see you.” He mumbles, placing his hand over his heart. “Like we’re connected, I can feel your heartbeat right now…” Neteyam thinks hard, and he thinks hard for hot minute, “Like, our tsaheylu works even in your human body, I feel you, sense you,”
Neteyam’s mind runs fuzzy at the realization, big head falling into the crook of your neck and taking a deep, long inhale of your scent. He's suddenly way too aware of you sitting in his lap, small frame draped over his much, much larger one. “Y/n,” He groans, deep as his arms wrap around you, caging you in. His hands knead at your soft flesh, well-fed, healthy, fertile. His mind absolutely reels at the thought, the embodiment of fertility.
“Neteyam, we can’t,” You mumble against his skin, voice close to his ear, goosebumps spreading. He knows why, he does. As his frame easily hides your entire body just with his torso, he knows. He’d break you, truly. “I can link with my-“
“No, no.” He shakes his head, palms groping at the soft meat of your thighs. He doesn’t want your Avatar, he wants you. He feels this body, he’s connected not with your bodies, but with you. The thought sends him.
“Nete, I physically can't,” There’s humor in your words, a slight giggle as you pull away to peer at him. His pupils are giant, mind cloudy as he stares at you. You chuckle, hands pulling at your mask. With one deep breath, you pull it off.
“What are you-“ His panicked tone is quickly cut off when your lips press against his, soft and careful. It doesn’t help his situation, lips so unbelievably soft where they’re connected with his own. His mind melts, eagerly kissing you back as if he was starved from it. He whines, a genuine sound, when you pull back, yanking your mask on quickly.
“You worry a lot,”
“I worry for you,” Neteyam rolls his eyes. Maybe if he ignores you, and his unbelievable attraction for you, the tightness in his cloth will go away. It's all wishful thinking, impossible thinking, given how you’re currently straddling his thighs. “You have to give me a bit to calm down, yawne. I can't do it with you sitting like this,” He whines, growing uncomfortable with each passing second.
“Why can’t I help you?” You whine, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his neck, a small pout on your face.
“Because I’m scared I will lose it and hurt you,”
“You’d never hurt me, Nete,” It’s a genuine statement, both of you know it. “Not in a way I didn’t want, anyway,”
“Yawne,” He groans, “Not helping.”
“C’mon, let’s go find somewhere private.” You almost have it in you to laugh at him when you climb off his lap, a genuine crazed look in his eyes.
“Do you not feel it in this body?” Neteyam asks as he runs after you, picking you up to more easily scale home tree. You think for a couple of moments, shrugging.
“I think I feel it all the time, I thought it was normal,” You answer him honestly, arms and legs wrapped around his body as he climbs and runs. His ikran meets him hastily, and he’s taking off before he even asks you if you’d like to sit on the saddle instead.
“Maybe I couldn’t tell because I haven't seen you in this body in awhile,” He concludes as he lands, hoping down with you still death gripped to his back. “Been killing me, Y/n. It’s like torture, being away from you for so long,” He whines, immediately turning to wrap you in his hold when your feet touch the soft grass. He kneels carefully, more level with you as he continues the dramatics. “Missed your little human body tripping over sticks,” He teases, knowing the sticks are logs for you. His head finds itself against your chest, listening to the way your heart beats.
“Oh the drama,” You laugh, making yourself comfortable when you sit down. “Can't kiss you in this body, it’s unfair,” You complain as you lay down, knowing Neteyam is soon to find his place in between your thighs. It takes almost no time, legs widening to accommodate the large Na’vi.
“We can work out a system,” He really wants to kiss you, “Deep breath,” He barely lets you finish before he pulls the mask off, immediately slamming his lips against your own. He’s desperate and needy, the feeling only multiplying as you’re finally close. He can feel the heat in between your legs, making him lose his judgment. He kisses you as if his life depends on it for a bit, before his care for your well-being overrides his thoughts and he’s placing the mask back on. “Fuck, just missed you so much,” He grins, trailing down to your chest as he kisses along your sensitive and thin skin. It’s like torture when he trails down, his mind melting as his fingers trail over the edge of your own beaded cloth.
“It’s okay Nete,” You’re quick to reassure, watching as he immediately takes the go ahead and unties it. Wasting no time at all, he genuinely wastes no time as his head immediately buries in between your legs. “NETEYAM, FUCK!” You yelp, his giant head occupying all of the space. He's starved, so starved, and he eats to reflect that. You’re cumming once then again, then again, and then-
“One more for me paskalin, just too good, tastes too good, it’ll be the last one,”
Once his face finds its way out, he’s absolutely covered in your arousal and cum. His fingers find his own cloth, an idea popping in his head, “Do you trust me, love?”
“Of course,” He grins softly, allowing himself to finally be free of his constraint. He moans softly at that alone, so turned on, so drunk on you that his mind is definitely not working to its full capacitors. He whines loud as he slides in between your legs, big, angry cock easily slipping through your wet folds. You whimper as his tip brushes your sensitive clit, continuing to push past it until your hips are flush together. He moans, loud, when he looks down, angry cock just barely nudging at your breasts.
“I'd break you, yawne,” He growls softly, sliding his hips back before snapping them forward, “I'd break this little body,” He lets out more of a whine when you squeeze your thighs together, giving him more friction, more touch. “But oh, you’d be so full, stuffed full of my cock,” He groans, shuddering slightly on top of you.
“I know, Nete,” You whimper back softly, losing your mind as he fucks himself against your pussy, shuttering each time he slips into where your thighs squeeze. He genuinely would, likely fuck up your lungs and all vital organs in the process.
You’re absolutely soaked from his touch, providing more than enough lubrication for him as he easily slides between your lips, constantly hitting your clit right where you need it. It’s obscene, the sounds it’s making, you would think he’s fucking into you. “Nete,” You whimper, hands pulling at his arms to try and get him closer. He obliges happily, leaning forward to press himself against
you. He whines loudly, cock in between either of your bodies. “Love you,”
“Love you too, paskalin,” He smiles softly, kissing the top of your head, “I’m gonna cum for you, hm?” He smiles, watching your face as you eagerly nod. “Deep breath for me, pretty girl,” He grins hard, a giant smile on his face as you follow his instructions. He carefully pulls your mask off, wasting no time in slamming his lips onto yours. He devours your whines, whimpers, and moans, greedily taking them as his hips continue to pump against you. He kisses you until he cums, getting lost in the feel of your lips against his. You whimper as you feel him moan into your mouth, hands beginning to press against his biceps.
“My mate,” You whimper, reaching for his hand that still holds your mask. He quickly gets the message, placing it back onto your face.
“Yawne, my girl,” He sighs softly, hips still grinding against yours as he rides out his high with you. “Need you to cum again,” He mumbles against your lips, knowing you weren’t able to cum with him. “Just one more, one more. This will be the last, I promise love,” He almost babbles against your skin, kissing it.
“I can't, Neteyam,” You whine as his hands trail in between your legs, gently spreading your thighs to allow for more access. Your thighs are no match for his strength, whimpering gently when his fingers ghost across your clit.
“You can, yawne, for me, please?” He grins softly, a bit of a smirk spreading across his face. The smile never leaves his face as your hands grip hard at his wrists, discoloring his skin from the pressure. Neteyam is obsessed with the way your skin flushes for him, puffy swollen lips parting as he fingers slide in between them. He could watch it for hours, sit here and please you for hours if you’d let him.
A moan rips past your lips when two of his digits slip into your heat, filled to the brim from just his fingers. Your nails dig into his skin, clenching down around him almost impossibly tight. His eyes are narrowed in, mesmerized as his fingers disappear into you. Neteyam curls his fingers just right, an even louder moan. Your hips jerk hard, legs lifting and wrapping around his arms. “Feels too good,” You whine, thighs locking around him.
“Cum for me, Y/n,” He groans, prying your legs apart and replacing it with his head. The pleasure is still too much, legs wrapping around his head as his mouth and fingers never cease for a second.
“Gonna cum for you, gonna cum hard,” You groan, flexing slightly as you grind against his face. Your orgasm blinds you when it washes over you, legs shaking, chest rising and falling rapidly, stomach clenching hard as you rise up. You cum hard, squirting as Neteyam’s fingers still curl and grind into your soft walls. Neteyam has a crazed look on his face, eyes wide as he stares up at you. He's covered in your cum and arousal, just like you're covered in his currently.
“Y/n,”
“Neteyam I’m sorry I’ve never done-“
“Do it again,”
“No, please, Nete,” You whimper loudly, as his fingers curl just right, pleasure washing over you just right. It takes the last bit of your energy, cumming all over his arm in waves as you shake in his hold. Your hands immediately pull his face out from your thighs as you calm him down. He slowly relents, gentle as he removes himself from you.
“Thank you, my mate,” He smiles, “Love you so much,”
“Love you too,”
“Come, let’s go clean up,” He’s careful as he picks you up, leaving your items where they lay. He carefully makes his way over to the river, slowly stepping in as you hold onto his neck, legs wrapped around his torso. A giant smile spreads across your face as he lowers the both of you in, water up to your necks now.
“I'm sorry I’ve been so busy recently, Neteyam,” You smile, pushing back some braids that have fallen from his efforts. “Trying hard to get everything quickly,” You grin, hand softly holding his cheek in your hold, “So I can be a good Tsahìk for the people, for you,”
“I know you will,” He speaks softly, allowing his head to fall forward, pressing his forehead against yours, “I understand, I just miss you,” He instinctively curls into your touch where it rests on his cheek.
“I miss you too, your grandmother asks me about you sometimes. She told me Eywa sees us,”
“Oh, is that so?” He entertains you, smiling when he pulls back. He's standing, but you’re solely relying on him to not have to tread the water and use up what little energy you have left. “What does she wanna know?”
“Eh, you know. The basic grandma stuff, if you’re eating well, staying safe,” You smile, cupping some of the water and dragging it along his face. You clean him up, leaning back in his embrace when you’re satisfied with the job. His arms hold you, hands splayed across your back. “If you’re happy these days.”
“Of course I am, yawne, I have you,” His voice is sincere and gentle as he pulls you close, tucking your head into his shoulder as he holds the base of your neck. “All I need.”
@rainbowsocks @nerys-nerie bc you guys commented on the other post, luv uuuu
#neytiri avatar#jake sully#neteyam x human#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x you#neteyam x reader#neteyam sully#neteyam smut#atwow loak#kiri sully#tukitrey#avatar theory#avatar#james cameron avatar#avatar grace#avatar au#avatar the way of water#avatar twow#neteyam#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#atwow#aged up neteyam#aged up characters#neteyam would be the leader in like 2 years or smth
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Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation: Writing 101
I adored grammar lessons in grade school, but I realized they were specific to the school I was in when I switched school systems.
Not everyone gets to grow up with grammar quizzes and sentence diagram tests. Don’t feel bad if you can’t tell an em dash from a hyphen! Browse this guide and you’ll refresh yourself on everything you need to know.
Note: this is for American English and assumes you already speak it as a first or second language. It won’t explain verbs, nouns, etc. Also, some parts will vary by in-house style guides with various publishers. However, you can use these refreshers to problem-solve your WIP and feel more confident about how you wield your words.
1. Punctuation Around Dialogue
American English grammar rules almost always firmly state that punctuation around dialogue goes inside quotation marks.
Examples:
Wrong: “I don’t want to go to the park”, she said.
Right: “I don’t want to go to the park,” she said.
This rule won’t apply if you’re asking about something someone said. Otherwise, punctuation always goes inside the quotation marks to end what’s being said.
Examples:
Wrong: Did the teacher say, “Do your homework?”
Right: Did the teacher say, “Do your homework”?
Also, dialogue tags always have a comma separating what’s being said from the tag itself. That’s because the tag is an integral part of the dialogue since it identifies who’s saying the spoken words.
Examples:
Wrong: “I love chocolate ice cream.” he said.
Right: “I love chocolate ice cream,” he said.
2. Adjectives vs. Adverbs
Adjectives and adverbs often get confused. They both start with “ad” and describe other words. So what do they mean?
Adjectives are descriptors that apply to nouns.
Adverbs are descriptors that often end in -ly and apply to verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. (Basically anything but nouns.)
Examples:
Adjective: He is a hairy cat. [“Hairy” describes the noun “cat.”]
Adverb: The hairy cat ran quickly across my yard. [“Quickly” describes the verb “ran.”]
Adverb: He really likes to roam. [“Really” describes the verb “likes.”]
Adverb: Even though we have a very small neighborhood. [“Very” describes the adjective “small.]
Adjectives are also considered stronger descriptors in writing because they’re more specific. Using adverbs occasionally is often fine, but publishers and editors that sift through submissions with a fine-tooth comb don’t like repeated adverb usage when a more direct description could fit the sentence.
Examples:
Adverb: I really enjoy going to the movies.
Stronger verb: I love going to the movies.
3. There, They’re, and Their
People often get these confused because the English language is very confusing. To put it bluntly:
There: a location
They’re: a contraction for “they are”
Their: the possessive pronoun form of “they”
Example:
They’re driving their car to that store over there.
4. Run-On Sentences and Fragments
Run-on sentences go on for too long. Fragments are incomplete sentences.
You’ll know both when you spot them because it isn’t how people normally talk. People pause to collect their thoughts, take a breath, and describe their thoughts in complete sentences (even with slang, the sentences still make sense).
Examples:
Run-On Sentence: She went to work and had a meeting at 11:00 before going to lunch at the restaurant across the street which had her favorite food on the dessert menu so she enjoyed it before going back to work and clocking out at 5:00. [This sentence addresses six different actions in too many phrases for a running list of commas with a conjunction at the end.]
Fragment: Every single animal. [Every animal what? There’s no context, so the sentence is incomplete. Sometimes writers use fragments as creative descriptors if they break grammar rules effectively, but you have to know how to avoid fragments to use them well.]
5. Em Dashes
Ah, the em dash. I’m so biased when it comes to this punctuation mark.
Em dashes indicate a purposeful pause, followed by essential information. They can also distinguish phrases or lists in the middle of a sentence.
Most importantly, they’re the length of an m.
You’ll know you’re using them correctly if you can replace your em dash with a pair of commas, a colon, or a semicolon.
Examples:
I love using em dashes—especially for sentences like this—so I may use them a little too often. [You could replace the em dashes with commas and it would still be correct.]
I couldn’t resist it—Em Dash Press had to be the name for my blog. [This em dash could be a semicolon.]
6. En Dashes
En dashes are the little sibling to em dashes. En dashes are two hyphens long or the length of an n. They point out the range in numbers or time, but can also stand in for “to” or “and.”
Examples:
The war lasted from 1434–1442.
I’ll be at the library from 6:30–7:30 p.m.
The final score was 32–34.
You have a ticket on the Chicago–New York flight tomorrow evening.
7. Hyphens
At this point, you’re likely wondering what’s even left for hyphens to do. The answer is quite a lot.
It’s one dash wide and joins words.
Examples:
Hello, my name is Alvina Stuart-Kelly.
I’m looking for a dog-friendly apartment.
She has a two-year-old child.
Typically, they don’t go after adverbs and don’t join words after nouns.
Examples:
Incorrect: My apartment is dog-friendly.
Incorrect: That child is two-years-old.
8. Commas (Oxford and Otherwise)
Commas are a curse and a gift for writers. Myself included.
We often use commas that are unnecessary because in our mind, that’s where we’re pausing to breathe or collect our thoughts as we type the sentence.
Sometimes it just feels right to use too many—until it’s time to edit.
There are multiple types of commas. The first is the comma that connects a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, for, so, yet, nor).
Example:
He’d love to hang out, but he has to finish his homework.
A comma can also go after an introductory phrase.
Example:
When we last spoke, it was still November.
Commas also go around phrases within a sentence.
Example:
My neighbor, who is a great painter, is open for commissions.
Then there’s the Oxford comma, which goes before the coordinating conjunction at the end of a list.
Example:
We need to get paper towels, apples, and flour at the supermarket.
You can also place a comma in between two nouns that are interchangeable.
Example:
The fresh, cheesy soup is delicious.
The cheesy, fresh soup is delicious.
There should be a comma after a conjunctive adverb at the beginning of a sentence if it’s contrasting something.
Example:
I don’t like swimming in rivers. However, I’ll make an exception for you.
Introductory prepositional phrases (you can find a complete list of prepositions below) also get followed by a comma if they’re more than four words long. However, you can put them after smaller prepositional phrases too.
Examples:
[“After the game” is the prepositional phrase below.]
Correct: After the game we should get milkshakes.
Also correct: After the game, we should get milkshakes.
Also correct: After the game ends tonight, we should get milkshakes.
When a prepositional phrase ends a sentence, you don’t need to put a comma before it because they’re typically describing a verb.
Incorrect: We should get milkshakes, after the game ends.
Correct: We should get milkshakes after the game ends. [“After the game ends” is describing the timing of the verb “get” in relation to the object “milkshakes.”]
9. Prepositions
Prepositions are words that come before a noun, verb, or pronoun to indicate details like the place, time, direction, location and relationship to an object.
There are too many prepositions to list in this post, but you can find a ton of them over on this website.
Examples:
He left ~for college~.
They were born ~in 1972~.
~From September to November,~ I’m going to be very busy.
You’ll know you’re using a preposition incorrectly when it’s essentially dangling at the end of the sentence or can be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence.
Examples:
Incorrect: Where’s the mouse at?
Correct: Where’s the mouse?
Incorrect: He leapt off of the couch.
Correct: He leapt off the couch.
Notably, some uses of prepositions are colloquial. In real-world conversations, you might say things like, “Where are you at?” and that’s absolutely fine. It’s even fine to use them like that when writing dialogue for characters who have a specific vernacular usage of them, like regional or cultural phrasing.
When neither of those are present in the written word, editors will recommend revising your sentences to reflect prepositional usage rules like the ones above.
10. Apostrophes
Apostrophes have a couple different jobs.
First, they show possession when something or someone owns something.
Examples:
That is Henry’s car.
Watch out for the tree’s loose branches.
Apostrophes also go after an “s” if the plural noun has possession of something.
Examples:
The stores’ new parking lot looks much better.
The wagons’ wheels were made of wood.
The classmates’ party just began.
When a plural noun doesn’t end in an s, it usually gets the standard apostrophe before an s.
Examples:
The sheep’s pen needs a repair.
The people’s voice matters.
The women’s shoe section is over there.
Apostrophes join words to create contractions too. Contractions join two separate words to save time, effort, or word count. They’re what most people use in everyday language because contractions are less formal in tone. (I just used one in that previous sentence!)
Examples:
It’s time to go to bed.
They’re making dinner now.
I can’t run very far.
11. Colons
We use colons to make sense of too much information. Basically, they give order to lists, phrases, or titles.
Examples:
They need to call the following guests: Isabelle, Ana, and Richard.
The Urgent Need for Answers: A Call for Solutions to Healthcare Inequities [This would be the title of an academic paper, book, or article.]
We have one thing in common: the desire to write more stories.
12. Semicolons
Don’t be afraid of semicolons; they are here to help you!
Semicolons join two related ideas or clarify lists with multiple long phrases.
Examples:
I ate dessert before dinner; life is about doing what makes you happy. [The second half of the sentence provides clarity or reasoning to the first half. The semicolon could get replaced by an em dash or “, because” if you preferred it that way.]
When I wake up, I brush my teeth with an electric toothbrush; swish a sensitive-teeth mouthwash in my mouth for 30 seconds; and wash my face while I shower. [If you replaced the semicolons with commas, the phrases would be considered too wordy. Semicolons provide more visual order for readers in this context.]
13. Exclamation Marks
Some people avoid ever using exclamation marks. Others use them all the time.
I say that the correct usage depends on the situation.
If an overly enthusiastic, excited kid were telling their friends they were going to Disney World, they might breathlessly say something like, “I just got the best news! My mom got time off of work! So we’re going to Disney World!”
However, if a more serious or laid-back person said they had a good day and wanted to describe it, they’d likely say, “My day was good! I had a great lunch and the drive home was easy.” Finishing the last sentence with an extra exclamation mark would be out of character for them.
You also wouldn’t want to use exclamation marks in formal writing settings, like academic papers or newspaper articles, because it would come across as too casual. But it’s fine if you’re writing a social media post or texting a friend.
As long as the exclamation mark indicates excitement or urgency, you’re using it correctly. Consider who’s speaking and why to figure out if their dialogue would result in more than an occasional exclamation mark.
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I hope this helps clarify the basics so you’re more confident about writing your next story. Grammar is complicated and ever-changing (I’m looking at you, AP Style Guide), but you can count on these basics to structure things correctly for your readers.
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an assortment of disney sentence starters. a compilation of sentence starters from and inspired by lilo and stitch, lady and the tramp, lady and the tramp ii: scamp’s adventure, the little mermaid and the little mermaid ii: return to the sea. feel free to adjust as necessary but do not add to the list. thank you!
‘ i don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad. ’
‘ if anybody ever needed a muzzle, it's him ... ’
‘ have you lost your senses completely? ’
‘ i'd give anything to have what you have. ’
‘ i didn't mean it, {name}, i don't know what i was thinking! ’
‘ beyond those distant hills, who knows what wonderful experiences there are, and it's all ours for the taking. ’
‘ if you promise not to fight anymore, i promise not to yell at you ... except on special occasions. ’
‘ you ... saved my life. nobody else here would have dared to do that. ’
‘ you don't know what it was like. ’
‘ i see you haven't changed a bit. ’
‘ hey! watch where you're going, stupid head! ’
‘ you don't belong on the street. you won't last five minutes out here. ’
‘ wonder what they do around here for excitement. ’
‘ do we have a lobster door? no! we have a dog door! we're getting a dog. ’
‘ we're just going to forget this whole thing ever happened. ’
‘ how could there be anything wrong with something so wonderful? ’
‘ i'm not going home! you can't make me. ’
‘ did you lose your job because of me? ’
‘ if you want to leave, you can. i'll remember you though. i remember everyone that leaves. ’
‘ i just ... i just don't feel like i belong here. have you ever felt that way? ’
‘ i'm giving you a choice, you can come with me or you can return home. ’
‘ if your father knew about this place- ’
‘ if you ask me, she's a little strange ... ’
‘ everybody thinks i'm ... weird ... ’
‘ this is great. this is living! i never get to do this at home. ’
‘ why don't you go tell my father? you're good at that. ’
‘ stop criticizing me! that's all my mother ever did, criticize me! ’
‘ you're hiding something from me ... ’
‘ remember this: a human heart has only so much room for love and affection. ’
‘ i'm going to bust us out of here, if it's the last thing i do. ’
‘ i know you're trying, {name}, but you need to think about what's best for them ... even if it removes you from the picture. ’
‘ i've given you what you've always wanted ... they're the one who's been lying to you all these years. ’
‘ it wasn't built to keep something out ... it was built to keep me in. ’
‘ you've got no one to blame but yourself. ’
‘ well ... that's what comes of tying yourself down to one person. ’
‘ we could run off together. we don't need them. ’
‘ you're just like ... like your mother. ’
‘ it's about time you settle down. ’
‘ i thought we could sit out here and talk. ’
‘ i'm sorry i bit you ... and pulled your hair ... and punched you in the face. ’
‘ sometimes you try your hardest but things don't work out the way you want them to. ’
‘ i hope that you appreciate what i go through for you. ’
‘ take my advice and settle down with this one, huh? ’
‘ i should have been home hours ago ... ’
‘ i'm late because i had to go to the store and get peanut butter because all we have is stinkin' tuna- ’
‘ no, you don't belong there, you're better than that and that's what i like about you. ’
‘ you know, i really believed they had a chance ... then you came along. ’
‘ isn't it obvious? {name}'s in love. ’
‘ why didn't you wait at the school? you were supposed to wait there! ’
‘ that's the first time i've seen you smile in weeks. ’
‘ i know that's why you wreck things and why you're mean to me sometimes ... ’
‘ i was just like you when i was your age. ’
‘ i don't need you to shelter and protect me! ’
‘ you're not like the rest of us. you're good and kind. the streets will beat that out of you if you stay. ’
‘ you really want a family, don't you? ’
‘ i've got a very comfortable home, where i know you'll be loved and appreciated ... ’
‘ why do you act so weird? ’
‘ open up your eyes to what life can really be ... ’
‘ are you going to play dolls? ’
‘ this is great. i mean, i really love this ... adventure, excitement, danger lurking around every corner ... ’
‘ you don't have to be scared of me. i won't hurt you. ’
‘ we can't go in! the sign says- ’
‘ i need you to stay here for a few minutes. i'm going to be right back. ’
‘ i'm {number} years old! i'm not a child! ’
‘ hey, i brought you some pizza in case you were hungry. ’
‘ i'm not your girl. i don't belong to anyone ... ’
‘ i wish i could tell {name} how i feel ... but they'd never understand. ’
‘ you seem very familiar ... have we met? ’
‘ people treat me different. ’
‘ i know you've been keeping something from me. ’
‘ sometimes ... things have to change and maybe sometimes they're for the better. ’
‘ you didn't think they would miss you!? ’
‘ this is you and this is your badness level. it's unusually high for someone your size. ’
‘ all i ever hear is rules, rules, rules ... don't do this and don't do that ... ’
‘ everyone has trouble fitting in at your age. i know i did. i was a regular fish out of water. ’
‘ there's a great, big hunk of world out there with no fence around it, where two people can find adventure and excitement ... ’
‘ why did you keep the truth from me? ’
‘ i bet they've got a lid on every trash can ... oh, and a fence around every tree. ’
‘ we're a broken family, aren't we? ’
‘ if it wasn't for you, i would have wound up somewhere else... ’
‘ i'm the only one who understands them. you take that way, they won't stand a chance. ’
‘ our family is little now and we don't have much but if you want you could be a part of it. ’
‘ i'm going to stuff you in the blender, push puree then bake you into a pie and feed it to- ’
‘ when you're footloose and unattached ... well, that's nothing but the best. ’
‘ what are you doing out here? don't you have a nice family back home? ’
‘ don't you have a family? ’
‘ oh man, must have been horrible having someone care about you that much ... ’
‘ you have a home and a family that loves you. you're not like the rest of us, {name}. ’
‘ i'm just so afraid i'm going to make a total fool of myself. ’
‘ you're hiding something from me ... ’
‘ i didn't think they would miss me that much ... ’
‘ have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life? ’
‘ i got to get to work. stick around town and stay out of the roads, okay? ’
‘ they aren't much of a family ... but what choice do i have? ’
‘ it's clear to me that you need them a lot more than they need you. ’
‘ i might not be a doctor but i know that there's no better cure for a sour face than a couple of boards and some choice waves. what do you think? ’
‘ you're such a pain. ’
‘ come to join the party? ’
‘ the world out there is full of traps. here? here you have a family that loves you. ’
#roleplay prompts#roleplay sentence starters#sentence starters#disney#disney sentence starters#mine: inbox prompt
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Dedicated
Yandere Izuku x Reader
Warnings: Yandere themes, possessiveness, delusions, cheating accusations, manipulation, arson
Summary: You’re not oblivious to Izuku’s crazy tendencies, but you love him anyway. Sometimes, it’s hard to put up with him, though. Will you be able to show him where your loyalties lie when he asks for proof of your dedication?
Checkout my Master List here.
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Muttering. Always muttering about something or another. You can barely just make out the words as your boyfriend pulls you through the city. He’s walking fast, so fast that you can barely keep up with him. The wind causes his green curls to fly wildly.
“Izuku, please, slow down! I can’t keep up.” Your feet hurt. He’s been dragging you around for a while now. You love him to bits and pieces, and usually you can put up with his frantic tendencies. Today is different because you’re exhausted.
He doesn’t answer you, doesn’t even seem to hear you by how he keeps his pace steady. It’s just beneath a light jog with how brisk his speed is.
“Where are we even going?”
You hear him mumbling something about thoughts and praises. Something about cheating. It makes no sense. His scrambled words mean nothing to you because you can’t understand the full sentence. You’re only able to hear some words in a slightly raised tone, and it’s infuriating to not have him respond to you.
You snap, and as a result, you snap him out of his daze.
“Izuku, will you fucking answer me?!”
He turns to look at you with tears in his eyes. You didn’t know because he’s been walking ahead of you, so you were unable to see his face until just now.
Your heart stops. “Izuku…what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” He pushes you into an alleyway, shoving you against the wall. “What’s wrong?!” It’s a dark and secluded area. “You’re really asking me that? You have no idea?”
This is the first time you’ve truly felt scared to be in his presence. He’s never done anything like this before. Riddled with anxiety, you press your hands against his chest in order to calm him and to try to create some distance.
“No, I don’t. You need to communicate with me. I’m not a mind reader. Please, tell me what’s going on? You’ve been dragging me through the city for a really long time now. I don’t know what’s happening.”
“You…you…you were looking at that guy at the mall. You told me you think I’d look good in the shirt he had on!”
Thinking back, you know exactly what he’s talking about.
“Baby, that was a mannequin.”
“Don’t fucking patronize me right now! I know what I saw! You were looking at him? Why would you do that? You wouldn’t look at another guy. You only love me. You’re supposed to only love me!”
At first, you had to stifle a giggle to keep yourself from laughing in his face about the entire thing. Now, you have to force yourself to not shake under his tight grip.
“Izuku, I wasn’t looking at anyone. I only have eyes for you. I love you so much. You’re my man. I wouldn’t want anyone else. I was made to be in your arms. You have to believe me.”
He turns his hand over and caresses your cheek with the knuckle of his pointer finger. “I’ll believe it if you prove it.”
“What- what do you mean?”
“Dedicate yourself to me and only me.”
You nod because deep down you already have. Your loyalties lie with the hero as your heart belongs to him.
“Of course I will. I’ve already done that, Izuku. I’ve dedicated myself whole heartedly to you a long time ago.”
His lips twitch into a smile. With the way he’s looking at you, it feels as if he’s drilling holes into your bones. “Good. I want you to show me your dedication, though. Burn the creep with the hideous shirt from the mall.”
So many horrible things run through your mind. The first one is that Izuku still thinks the mannequin is an actual man. The second being he wants you to kill, no, burn what he thinks is a human being to death. The third is that you could get charged with arson if you get caught. You don’t really see any other choice with the way he’s looking at you, however.
———
You walk into the house just as Izuku is watching the news.
“Kiyoshi Mall burned down due to a fire starting in a clothing store. It couldn’t be contained. Thankfully, nobody was injured,” a reporter recounts the events of the evening. “Heroes rushed to the scene to try to contain the fire with water and evacuation quirks. The mall’s structure sustained severe damage, and it will take a while to repair, putting many stores out of business for the time being.”
You burned down an entire fucking mall for this man. It was just supposed to be a small fire, controlled. The shop was closed while others were still open. It was risky, but you had to act sooner rather than later or else you’d lose your courage. You had a fire extinguisher ready and everything as you lit up the well dressed mannequin. However, nothing ever goes your way. You didn’t notice the gasoline had gotten on the other two mannequins flanking the one you were trying to exterminate. The next thing you knew, the entire store was on fire, and there was no way you could douse the flames with one extinguisher. You had to get out while the doors were still clear. You had to get away from the mall before you were caught. Hopefully, it was enough to prove your loyalty.
“I did what you asked,” you tell your boyfriend as you sit down next to him. “Are we okay now?”
Izuku nods and holds you closely. “It said nobody was injured, so I guess he got away. At least you tried, though. I mean, you burned down the mall just for me.”
Breathing a sigh of relief now that the whole thing is over, you relax in his arms.
“However, you burned down the entire mall. Someone could have gotten hurt. Since I’m a hero, I can’t let that go unpunished.”
You frown as soon as what he’s saying registers. Why can’t things ever just be normal for once?
#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#yandere#triggering content#triggering themes#mha izuku midoriya#mha izuku#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya#yandere izuku#yandere izuku midoriya#yandere izuku x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere x willing reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you
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Incorrect Scarlet and Violet Quotes Part 3
Guess who still has a bunch of these sitting in a document?
Juliana: Happiness is like rainbows! If you see one, you smile because it’s so colorful! Sometimes, you get two and you get double happy!! :D
Kieran: Sometimes, you always get none even after watching so many rainy days you just stop and you just sit there, disappointed that no matter your effort, happiness doesn’t want you and life just truly hates you.
Penny: *calling a therapist*
Kieran, at the beginning of Teal Mask: *looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll*
Kieran, at the end of Teal Mask: *looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you*
Kieran, at the beginning of Indigo Disk: *looks like he could kill you, could definitely kill you*
Kieran, at the end of Indigo Disk: *looks like he could kill you, is a cinnamon roll*
*if Nemona was a waitress*
Nemona: Okay, guys, who wanted the macaroni and bees?
Everyone, at the table: …
Arven: …You mean cheese, right?
Nemona, struggling to keep the bowl covered: That does make more sense, actually—
Juliana, barging into Penny’s room, pushing in a wheelbarrow with Nemona in it: PENNY! NEMONA’S DEAD!
Penny: *gasps*
Nemona, getting up: That’s right! Dead serious about going to Disneyland!!
Penny: *groans*
Florian, about to leave Naranja/Uva Academy: Don’t spend all day watching anime, okay?
Penny: I forge my own path!
Clavell, tired: I’d like to live through one week in this school that’s not a whole new verse of ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’.
Yukito, meeting Juliana for the first time: Oh, is this the girl your always telling me about, Kieran?
Kieran, nervously chuckling: AHA, Grandma! Stop making things up!
Yukito: She’s even prettier in person—
Kieran, opening a window and jumping out: Okay gotta run, bye!
Arven: Just when I thought Nemona couldn’t get any weirder, I saw her trying to write three different essays at the same time.
Arven: She was taking one essay at a time and writing a few sentences before moving onto the next.
Carmine: I think I’m getting sick, I’m losing my voice.
Juliana: That means you can’t yell at us anymore!
*later*
Juliana: Turns out Carmine is a lot scarier when she’s quiet.
Kieran: Do you think we could ever be… more than friends?
Juliana, beaming: I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I can totally see us as Pokémon! I even drew a picture, let me go ge—
Carmine: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and look at the picture.
The squad: Aww.
Carmine: And then I tell myself ‘If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything’.
The squad: Oh.
Arven: Did you get the eggs like I asked?
Nemona: Even better!
Arven: What did you do?
Nemona, holding up a chicken: Her name is Fluffy.
Kieran: What are you? Two?
Drayton: Yeah, two heads taller than you!
Kieran: *inhales deeply*
*5 minutes later*
Kieran: OPEN THE DOOR, YOU COWARD!!
Drayton: I WAS JUST JOKING!
Juliana, calling Penny: Can you come pick me up? I think I’m lost…
Penny: I swear, if you got lost playing Pokémon Go—
Juliana: I caught an Eevee. If you pick me up, I’ll name it Penny.
Penny: I’m on my way!!
*when Juliana first meets Kieran again in Blueberry Academy*
Juliana: *going in to hug Kieran*
Kieran: *pushes her away and assumes a fighting stance*
Juliana: Hey, why’d you push me???
Kieran: I thought you were going to attack me.
Juliana: I was going to hug you!
Kieran, narrowing his eyes: Why would you hug me?
Juliana: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU?!
And that’s the end of part 3!! I still have so many quotes so there will probably be a part 4 in the future. (I swear I’ll post more than just incorrect quotes but they are just really fun to write lol.)
#pokemon#pokemon sv#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon kieran#trainer kieran#rival kieran#champion kieran#pokemon juliana#trainer juliana#pokemon arven#trainer arven#rival arven#pokemon carmine#trainer carmine#rival carmine#pokemon penny#trainer penny#rival penny#pokemon nemona#trainer nemona#rival nemona#pokemon florian#trainer florian#pokemon drayton#pokemon clavell#pokemon yukito#dipplinshipping#kieran x juliana#juliana x kieran
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To learn normal from abnormal : Tim is losing his grip on reality and keep letting himself talk aloud about stuff that are normal, right ? Aren’t they bonding ?
“Falling asleep is exactly like some scenes in horror movies. It’s laying down, alone, in a dark room, trying to control your breath, to not be too loud, to fall asleep before something happens. To hear your heartbeat, beating like crazy, pumping as hard as it can, to hear it in your ear, to feel it in your stomach, see it in the corner of your eyeball. It’s hoping it will be fast and trying to ignore all the adrenalin in your veins, the tension in all your muscles. Hoping it will be done quickly because it’s so terrifying.”
Everybody fell silent. Tim had said that without even looking up from his files, like if it was a trivial fact. As if it was normal.
“The fuck replacement ?”
The young man hummed in response, not even paying attention. His eyes were highlighted by dark rings. They seemed at their place on his face. They suddenly made sense.
“Sometimes I don’t know who is talking. Usually I choose who can speak for ourselves. But someday, when we think about it, even if it’s mid-sentences, sometimes we don’t know which one is in control. It’s like in “ And then there were none”, when they all look at each other, the ten only persons on the island, but still someone else’s, an eleven seem to be somewhere, tricking them. It’s exactly that. We ask each other, ‘if it ain’t you either or the others… Who is it?’. It stresses us that sometimes we don’t always notice this other one.”
Cassandra looked weirdly at her brother. She might not know everything, but she knows for sure that those informations are unusual. There shouldn’t be a ‘us’ in her brother, just a singular person, him.
But she doesn’t have time to process all of it, to ask anything, Tim is already onto another subject.
“ They don’t love me, god they don’t even like me. I shouldn’t be living with them. I’m just a stranger here, an odd error. I’m pretty sure I can hear them talk about me in my back all the time. I keep disappointing them, they told me so many times. And I can’t even imagine what horrible things they might say about me behind my back. How much I might disgust them. I’m still not sure if I just shouldn’t run away, disappear from their lives. It would be so much better for them… …. … … Sure Kon, I can sleep at your place if it can reassure you, I’m making my bag and telling Alfred then you can pick me up…”
Damian is in the corridor, listening to Drake, baffled by all the lies he is currently saying to his boyfriend. Since when the Waynes had been trash talking to him ? It’s very unlikely, even Damian wouldn’t do it, so the other couldn’t. They all hold so much respect for the third Robin, for their greatest detective. Maybe they should tell him more often. Because Drake shouldn’t believe those things. For a detective, he could be kind of dense sometimes.
“I feel so empty you know, like if I had been bleeding myself all over the place and there’s just not anymore me left in this body. It’s weird, like if I was just reduced to being an automat, to faking all my action, my emotion. It’s not me, it’s not someone. It’s just reminiscent of what I used to be. There are days when I can put some mask on and they will stick. I will be someone for one day, until the mask slips and there’s nobody actually behind it. And there’s days where none of the masks want to stick, so I have to walk around with everybody seeing how empty I am. Somehow, I prefer the fake facade rather than the second option. Sadly, I don’t have any control over it. I wish so hard to be able to fill this nothing, anything could do the trick, I don’t care. But it won’t work, nothing is enough to fill this emptiness in me. So I just kept being my automatic self. You know, like everyone does…”
Nobody does that. Jason wants to tell him it’s not normal, no one feels like that. But how to turn it without sounding mean. Without triggering Tim who for once said something personal to Jason. That is so wrong, so wrong, he will need to get to the end of this subject. How sad is it to know he isn’t even 20 but already so broken ?
“ You know what is funny ? I can’t even recognize myself in a mirror. Somewhere deep inside my brain we know it’s me, Tim’s face we are seeing. But we also know we don’t remember it looking like that. It seems odd, out of character. Since when our eyes look like that. Do we really have such a tiny waist ? We’re sure we don’t have beauty marks here on our lips… But it is our lips… Like if it’s me, Tim, but in other hands, it's more like a mockery of it, wrong everywhere but kind of close to its original. And each time it’s the same thing, yesterday my eyes seemed too tiny, today too big, tomorrow the right size but wrong color. Never good enough, never alright. I’m tired of being so wrong. it’s us but it’s not us.”
Dick is trying his very best to make his tie look good, next to Tim in the mirror, looking at his younger brother worriedly. Tim looks like Tim for him, a tired version of Tim but that’s his normal with their lifestyle. Nothing seems wrong in his face, or abnormal. But those thoughts are raising so many red flags in Dick’s head. Maybe he should spend a little more time with the other boy, make sure he is alright or if there’s other things that don't sound right.
“ I’m never truly hungry. If I wait enough, hunger goes quickly away and most of the time it turns out I was just bored. So I never know if I should eat or miss it. When was the last time I ate a real meal ? Do I deserve to eat ? Do I really need to ? I used to be fat when I was younger. My parents hated it, hated me, hated my body. They found me disgusting. Now that I’m thinner, I kept wondering if I should eat or not, if it will make me fat to eat now or if it would kill me to miss it. And each time I guess, I always guess wrong. It’s exhausting, you have no idea, I hope it doesn’t do that to you very often.”
Duke didn’t know what to answer. They were eating take-out on a rooftop. And now he was worried Tim was developing or had already developed an eating disorder. He should try to do some research about it, and watch Tim more closely. Even if he already had guessed his relation with food was messed up, it didn’t feel good to be right. So, not knowing how to answer, Duke just offered the rest of his part to Tim.
“ It’s so selfish of me to stay alive. I’m not useful. I’m easily forgettable and replaceable.”
“ Do you remember what I'd just say ? Because I don’t. Most of the time, I have no clue what I’m saying. There are words coming out of my mouth, sentences I thought of, but nothing that my brain did proceed. It sometimes feels like it’s not me who said that ? If I don’t remember things happening ? If I don’t remember being there … Having said those things ? Can I be held accountable for it ? Because, to me, it’s just like it didn’t happen. Words seem to flow from my mouth, but without being asked to, without my permission. Sometimes I even wonder if I say things that I actually think or if it’s just coming from nowhere. It’s not me who’s talking and … Excuse me, what was I saying ?”
Stephanie tried to not show on her features the fear burning inside of her. That was wrong. Since when Tim had lost himself that much ? Did he even register that he confessed that to her ? Does he even mean everything he can tell them ? Are they losing him ?
“ I feel so alone. Even when I’m surrounded by all of them, even when people talk to me, I feel alone. Alone because people don’t really know me and don’t want to know me. Alone because in the end, I’m not even there and it doesn’t matter. I could not be here and nobody would notice ! I’m a ghost. Nobody listened to me, I kept getting ignored. Nobody looks my way anymore. I’m decaying in front of the whole world,, but nobody notices, nobody is truly close to me. Some part of me wants to disappear discreetly, to make my point : nobody will notice I’m not there because it doesn't matter. On the other hand, I’m so afraid to disappear without anybody noticing, nobody to mourn me, as if I never even existed. If nobody noticed me alive or dead, did I even exist ? Or was I truly just a shadow ?”
Bruce swallows dryly, hidden in the corridor, listening to Tim behind his half open door. The young man is talking sadly, while pacing back and forth in his room. His phone is on speaker, abandoned on his bed and the person on the other end of the line just hums a little “ Whatever Timothy”, proving his point. Nobody seems to listen to him truly. Bruce believes Tim's eyes start to shine in the dimly lit room, shine from unshed tears trying to free themselves. Tim is right, realize Bruce, closing soundlessly the door, incapable of facing his son, he does be alone in this world.
“Sometimes, I phase out. I’m not here, but my body is still there. It’s like I’d gone hide myself in some corner of my brain. And so, given that I’m absent, nothing happens. And no, it’s not sleeping because I’m aware of everything, I’m awake. Just not there. Just rejecting everything. And those absences are physically exhausting. It means staying in the same place and exact same position, muscles all tightly stretched. I think One day I just won't come back to front and stay to putrefy inside my own head. I hope nobody finds my very alive and decaying corpse. It’s better if I disappear in the woods without one word.”
He whispered his thoughts silently. With a bit of sadness piercing through his voice, just a little dot. Barbara wanted to hug him tightly, to beg him to stay with her. But he was on the other side of the city on patrol and she shouldn’t have hacked on his com. Now she had the crushing guilt of knowing Tim needed help and knowing she would never acknowledge her hearing his private thoughts. Maybe it would had been easier if she hadn’t heard him at all.
“ Do you truly know Timothy ? Because I sure don't. We are all different personalities and we take charge of the exchange given who is in front of us and what they expect. I’m Tim the little brother but I’m also Tim the older brother. I’m Tim the perfect student and Tim that follow no rule? I’m Robin, no not anymore I’m Red Robin. I’m a well known vigilante. I’m Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir, the CEO of Wayne Industry. I’m Tim Drake. I’m whoever they need me to be. I’m polite to her but not to him. I’m so calculated but too impulsive. I’m cold but too much on the other side of the spectrum. Switch switch switch. I’m broken. The masks won’t stick anymore and now we have been discovered, us, the Tims. We ain’t truly one, we are just working in concordance. It’s like a ballet, one touch of anger, then passive aggressive and final on the exhausted Tim. Each one try to work hand in hand to make the best approximation of a real functional human.”
Alfred stopped next to the young man. He had pushed Tim outside in the garden to keep him company while he was gardening. What was all that talk about switching. He knows Tim, he is the young boy who imposed himself as Robin, whom he considered as his grandson. He didn’t know this odd young man seated across from him, talking about personalities. Maybe his work, both at day and at night, might finally get to him. He must be exhausted once more. Alfred looked at him, studied him. Tim was entranced by his own hands. He seemed so lost. Alfred would forbid him to work tonight and make him go to bed early. That should fix it, right ?
“ If I only exist through pain and medications, what is the point of keeping the facade up ? No one want to be around me, I’m unsupportable. I can’t keep saying, Im’ fine, I’m ok, while yellling inside that I want to dissapear. Do they realise the sacrifice it is to stay by their side. Sure it’s easier for them, easier to have me alive, even though I don’t exist in their world, to know I existe somewhere. But I’m tired. It’s been 4 years takings pills, seeing professional… why do I still have no answer ? Why I still feel like I shouldn’t be here ? I’m quite sure I belong inside a casket, or even a box, hidden from everyone sight. I kept dropping, breaking over trivial things. My world resumed by other’s world. I’m not the main character, I just live in the background. Worst is knowing that I’m fake in every part of me. I tried so hard to be someone, that I ended up being nothing, a big pretty liar. But nobody see that, no one want to see it. I’m gonna dissapear. That is all I want. Everything had ad always been so heavy, so hard for me. I’m tired of faking it, of being ok, of being pushed away. I just want to dissapear the same way I lived, discreetly and whitout noise. To be gone is what I truly wish, what I truly aspire.”
Ra’s took a shaking breath. The Detective, His Detective, was showing signs that were alarming. Maybe he needed to step in and take Tim with him. His so-called family was clearly failing him. If not he would never have said any of this shit even less to Ra’s who is his enemy. Shouldn’t he confess to his close friends or even family ? Ra’s tried to catch his arm, and Tim stayed still. He couldn’t. He couldn’t take the young man with him like that, just kidnap him. He needed to prepare for him and for the opposition he would encounter from the vigilantes. So he left with regret filling his head. He would be back.
“ I want to matter,” cry Timothy, eyes unseeing, deversing tears, hot burning tears. “ I want to matter. I want to be noticed. I want to be loved. I want to be held. I want to be seen. I want ! I want to exist, damn” he murmurs. “ Please, don’t forget me. Don’t let me disappear in indifference. Please… I want to … I want to exist” he ended up sobbing. Nobody hears his pleas, nobody sees him drop to his knees, clutching his chest in a mock embrace, rocking himself back and forth while he cries and sobs in despair. Does he even know what he is saying ? Has he slept recently ? Has he eaten in the last two days ? Is he in control today ?
The mask won’t stick anymore. Nobody has confronted him even though he kept talking about everything that felt wrong. He doesn’t know how to ask for help anymore ? He tried, he talked over and over. Maybe it was just normal stuff. Maybe he was making a big fuss about nothing. Maybe everybody felt that way. They must have wondered why he was whining so much then. Yeah that must have been what was happening. He was a bother once again. He kept making remarks that were obvious. He was so dumb.
He was shaking. That was going to be it. Tim was at his point of no return. He had hit rock bottom. All those weeks talking to everybody, trying to open up, only to pass for an idiot. He was so dumb. That was gonna be it. It might be normal to feel like that. He might have bothered them with his little identity crisis, with his silly story that everybody had to live through.
Except he couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t put on anymore mask, feel himself, his selves, slip through his fingers. He couldn’t be afraid of sleep, of staying awake, of eating, of starving. He couldn’t let himself be a nuisance for others, no more. He was done. He had tried his hardest but sometimes even the simpler thing could be too much for the weakest soldier.
Maybe someone would care after it ? Maybe he might be mourn ? Maybe Batman could have better vigilante. Maybe Dick could focus on his only younger brother fully. Maybe Jason will forgive him. Maybe Alfred wouldn't have to care about him. Maybe Kon could be happy with Cass and find happiness in the arms of his old crush. Maybe Stephanie would finally be less awkward when hearing his name. Duke could easily take his place and be more integrated in the family. Maybe Ra’s will let him go.
So many maybe, an absence of answer. He was hopeful they always managed to land on their feet.
His hands were still shaking. He still managed to take all the meds. Over the last four year he managed to stock up on prescription drugs, quite a lot actually, unfinished tabs, started treatments then abruptly stopped leaving vials full or half full of meds.
For Tim it didn’t matter which one was going in. He just started taking pill after pill, emptying the vials, and going through another. He started feeling a little out of it after his third different medicine. He kept going at it, until he had to sit against the couch cause it was moving too much around him. Then he just opened the bottle and let the little pills roll on his coffee table, eating them like candy.
He never felt himself go.
After everything, when all ended, it would haunt all and each one of them. They knew.
If you read if all, thank you. I hope you liked it. This one is dear to me because it has an odd way of narrating that I love.
All those thoughts your just read are mine, so don’t read too much about it from a canon perspective. It's therapeutical for me to put my abnormal thoughts on some type of media. If you ever had those thoughts, please seek help, or even message me. Those are not normal or insignificant.
I wanted someone to help Tim, but I'm better at sad ending.
Please forgive me my broken english, I’m actually french and writing in another language is challenging. Please give me your thought, I will greatly appreciate it.
#Tim Drake#timkon#Jason Todd#dick grayson#Damian Wayne#bruce wayne#Alfred Pennyworth#duke thomas#Kon-El#conner kent#Stephanie Brown#barbara gordon#cassandra cain#Ra's al Ghul#angst#Suicide#tw!suicide#batfam#batfamily#tim drake centric#Red Robin#fanfic
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* 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝒑𝒕. 2
sentence starters based on scarlett thomas’ novel our tragic universe. change however necessary.
tw: depression, relationship conflict, infidelity, emotional abuse/manipulation
❛ i’m a fucking failure . i might as well admit it . ❜
❛ everything’s shit . i can’t do anything without making a mess of it . ❜
❛ i didn’t mean what i said before . i wouldn’t kill you . i wouldn’t even blame you . ❜
❛ what happened to us ? i don’t know if i’m even good for you anymore . i fuck everything up . ❜
❛ he often said that he wanted to minimize the footprint he was making on the environment , but i sometimes wondered whether really he didn’t want the environment to make a footprint on him as it trudged on into an unknown future . ❜
❛ surely it didn’t matter where you were , as long as you were happy ? ❜
❛ i fail all the time , but it’s just not so obvious . ❜
❛ life isn’t all about success . we don’t all have to be [ name ] . it’s ok to just be . that’s what we’re doing , isn’t it ? ❜
❛ we could build our farm and live off the land . then none of it would matter . ❜
❛ we would live happily ever after because of all that stuff , not despite it . ❜
❛ i am a monster . fuck . i said i wasn’t , but i am . ❜
❛ i’m a real shit sometimes , but i do love you . ❜
❛ sometimes [ name ] talked about what she felt for [ name ] , and i just couldn’t understand it . she seemed to want him , not what he could give her . ❜
❛ do you know the difference between a lie and a story ? ❜
❛ it’s not a bad thing to be good at telling stories , and in some ways everything we tell is a story , but sometimes it’s good to remember which parts of the stories we tell are true , and which parts are made up . ❜
❛ you’re not the kind of person to overcome monsters . that’s a good thing , isn’t it ? remember the story of beauty and the beast ? the beast looked like a monster , and all he needed was love , and then when beauty really loved him he turned into a prince . in that story , beauty didn’t overcome the monster either ; she loved him , and they lived happily ever after . ❜
❛ if a monster , or something you call a monster , comes to see you and you become its friend , it stops being a monster , at least to you . in that sense , there don’t have to be any such thing as monsters . you have to decide something is a monster before it becomes one . ❜
❛ i suppose in an ideal world you would go your separate ways and leave each other alone . ❜
❛ the main thing is that you don’t have to be violent towards something just because you don’t like it . ❜
❛ in a sense you could say he hasn’t made anything of himself , because he hasn’t become rich and famous , and he doesn’t have a family and a house , but he’s very happy with his simple life . ❜
❛ i was looking back at him , and suddenly something happened with our eyes : they touched . somewhere in the air between us , we touched without touching . ❜
❛ i wanted to run my theory past you . do you mind if i do it now ? it looks like we’re stuck here for a while , and there’s no one else to really talk to about this . ❜
❛ it seemed to be one of the small sadnesses of contemporary life that there was always someone in your office , or down the road , or across the river who understood your inner soul better than you partner did . ❜
❛ [ name ] had seemed to understand my inner soul once , i remembered , but he was well out of date on that score now . ❜
❛ it’s an interesting conversation to have while we wait to drown . ❜
❛ disaster is built into every man-made system . ❜
❛ people are simply reading technology as tragic . people somehow know that technology is always doomed . all that hubris . ❜
❛ all stories of success begin with failure , and the reverse . love stories begin with loneliness ; loneliness stories begin with love . ❜
❛ narrative has to have patterns , other it wouldn’t be narrative , and while life doesn’t have to have patterns , the minute we express it as narrative it does have to have patterns ; it has to make sense . therefore we impose patterns on life in order that we can express it as narrative . ❜
❛ whenever something good happens , we start anticipating its end . ❜
❛ i wanted to take his arm , or his hand , but i didn’t . ❜
❛ it’s too depressing ; no one wants anything ; no one does anything ; there are no questions to be resolved . ❜
❛ things seem like magic only when we don’t understand the underlying forces that make them happen . ❜
❛ perhaps he’d been killed in an accident , and that was why he hadn’t been at the bus stop . If he had been killed , i found myself thinking , then i’d be free . i erased the thought from my mind , but I couldn’t undo the fact that i’d had the thought in the first place . ❜
❛ here , in front of me , were so many different kinds of madness that i could hardly breathe . ❜
❛ I wondered if there really were that many people who felt so victimized by contemporary life . ❜
❛ i find it all so depressing , but i don’t know why . ❜
❛ i’ve got a friend who says that the human being is a big computer that can compute everything that machines can’t — feeling , emotion and so on . ❜
❛ i want [ name ] to start taking an interest in me , and i want some passion in my life . ❜
❛ if everyone had money and love and creative talent there’d be no need for world peace . ❜
❛ everything i’d ever thought about it had seemed like a good idea once , and then i had another ‘ good idea ’ and had to delete the one before . ❜
❛ life is a great quest , and you are its hero . the purpose of life is the completion of the quest . To complete the quest you must work out what you most want to find in some faraway cave , then take some weapons , go out and find the cave and get this thing . anything that stands in your way is a monster . ❜
❛ some beings have to be monsters , because otherwise how do you define other beings as heroes ? ❜
❛ it just wasn’t any good to find out that you are a monster and overcome yourself : the monster has to be outside you , and you have to kill it and move on until you get your treasure and your princess and become enlightened and then ascend to the road to perfection . ❜
❛ no . i mean she’s gone . i don’t know where . ❜
❛ it’s not really a mystery to me , but i’m too tired of it all to try to understand . ❜
❛ i was going to say i was sorry and i hoped his hand felt better , but actually i’m not sorry and i hope it drops off . ❜
❛ he didn’t say much . it was obviously one of those things i was supposed to know never to mention . ❜
❛ maybe there was always something . but there was also always the sense that if the something could be fixed , then all would be perfect . ❜
❛ i’ll never know , because i can never ask him about it again . you know how you can only ever talk about a problem once with [ name ] and then if you bring it up again he goes totally crackers ? ❜
❛ [ name ] could be a real skeptic when he wanted to be , which made his belief in aliens and sea monsters all the more interesting . ❜
❛ it means i’m not as mad as i thought i was . ❜
❛ if the future has already happened , or , at least , if it’s possible to compute , then of course you can predict it . ❜
❛ if a person’s collective thoughts are not kept in their head , but outside in a collective space , then anyone can access them . ❜
❛ I think the wrong type of person senses that there’s more power out there than they’ve been given access to , and so they pretend they’ve got it . ❜
❛ you’re always going to see fraudsters and tricksters out there on the street , peddling what they’ve got , because there’s no other way for them to live . ❜
❛ but what’s the point of it all ? this universe that’s just data . ❜
❛ death has to be what defines life , since living things are those things that will die but are not yet dead . ❜
❛ i saw the people themselves , already bad copies of pictures in magazines , aging , breaking , dying , for no reason at all , just like everything they ever bought . ❜
❛ each time two of them kiss in a disco , they imagine they are embarking on a perfect romance . ❜
❛ the people will lie , kill or steal for these items , which they believe to be love potions , beauty creams , elixirs of success or even flat-pack fairy castles . but in fact all they are trading are empty cardboard boxes , which they stack up in their houses until there are too many and then they throw some away . ❜
❛ why would you choose to die if there was an alternative ? ❜
❛ i half-wanted to say sorry , but i didn’t , because i also half-wanted to scream at him that it was his own fault , that everything he was upset about was his own fault . ❜
❛ i’m not sure i love you anymore , and i didn’t want to be anywhere near you this evening because you’re a fucking lunatic . ❜
❛ instead of comforting me , as i thought he would , he said , in a cold voice , ‘ you are just like your mother , ’ and left the room . i knew then that i’d lost him forever . ❜
❛ [ name ] didn’t like us playing together , so we’d stopped . ❜
❛ pretty shit . i keep having to go and cry in the toilet . ❜
❛ i don’t think i can come out tonight , unfortunately , which is such a bummer because i so don’t want to be at home . ❜
❛ of course , people did look after others in this way , sometimes for years . what was so wrong with me that i could barely manage it for a day ? ❜
❛ please don’t leave me alone . the world’s sort of vibrating . ❜
❛ i willed the phone to ring again . it didn’t . ❜
❛ don’t take the piss . i’m enjoying this . it’s making me feel better . ❜
❛ birds must be happy when they fly . ❜
❛ that weird plant must really like growing in sand . ❜
❛ evolution keeps on trucking until the end of time , which is never tomorrow , even though we all think it might be . ❜
❛ surely anything that existed and could think would find itself astonishing . ❜
❛ the placebo effect might not be the results of the patient’s mind , but your mind . ❜
❛ will you thank [ name ] for me when she gets back ? i’m too embarrassed to see anyone right now , especially her . ❜
❛ everyone’s got things they find hard to do . ❜
❛ she had her hands wrapped around her coffee as if it was the only source of warmth in her life . ❜
❛ i wanted to meet you again after that party , but i never did , and now i probably never will again , and it’s a shame , because i thought we could have been friends . ❜
❛ you know , not everyone is judging you . everyone’s got something that other people would think was awful if they knew . people like to attack the people who can’t or won’t hide , because that’s all part of their own camouflage . ❜
❛ i won’t ever come first for him , even though i’m the one who is there all the time , and i’m actually interested in him and his life . ❜
❛ he doesn’t mean to hurt my feelings , but he does , all the time , because he’s been put in this impossible position . ❜
❛ she has a nice big house , i imagine , and a cleaner , and nice furniture , and a husband and three lovely children , and that gives her the right to judge me , and decide how i should live . ❜
❛ i imagined being with [ name ] until we were both in our sixties and realized i’d probably rather shoot myself . ❜
❛ it was when i’d noticed the agelessness of his arms that i’d first realized he was a man , like any other man , and that he would also have feelings and memories and hopes and a heart and a naked body , just there under his clothes . ❜
❛ [ name ] told me he was going to tell [ name ] not to come round anymore . ❜
❛ you do look after me . sorry i’ve been a dick recently . ❜
❛ it’s so easy to start thinking that life is totally meaningless . ❜
❛ when i was a kid i thought death would happen to other people , but not to me . then when I grew up and realized it was inevitable for everyone , it was just such a fucking downer , you know ? ❜
❛ she’d even considered ruins , since , as she put it , she was already ruined herself . ❜
❛ don’t you think it’s interesting that people spent loads of time and money building structures for no reason other than to amuse themselves , or have something better than the neighbors , or so they could pretend to be living in the past , or in a fairy tale or something ? ❜
❛ was all that [ name ] , or was it just my idea of him ? ❜
❛ i just don’t want to go and play happy families with [ name ] and fucking [ name ] , of all people , especially when she’s shagging someone else . ❜
❛ i’m not into morally policing my friends . or my family , for that matter . ❜
❛ i wish i’d never told you any of that stuff now . i knew you’d find some way of using it against them . ❜
❛ if i sat there now , with so much life to contemplate , i felt that i might just watch the sea forever , and freeze with no fire and starve with no food . ❜
❛ i’m thinking about having an affair — which by the way will remain an affair even if i do leave [ name ] , because the , um , third party has got a partner as well . ❜
❛ you can’t really be in love with one person and officially living with another ; it has to be both at once . ❜
❛ i went through them all one by one after [ name ] rejected me . With the first three i convinced myself I was in love each time . ❜
❛ there was no conversation , but i understood , and he understood , that i’d had all his friends and now it was his turn . ❜
❛ i was wondering just what was so wrong with their relationship . it wasn’t just the harmonies and the easy conversation . ❜
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I found my Realm Of the Elderlings opinions in my diary and I still stand by them almost 5 years later
first entry and it's already terminal :
aug 30 2018
OHHHHH my god fitzchivalry YOU ARE THE REAL FOOL
i am so fucking done with this ABSOLUTE dumbass i can’t deal. the farseer books got me fucked up. he is SO stupid sometimes!! [ranting in french] fitz you are so self absorbed!!!! you really are just furious because u love the bastard. i swear to god fitzchivalry, just square the fuck up i’m teleporting to les six duchets just to shake you a lil
sep 26 2018
My ass is losing it reading The Liveship Traders!!!
Altheaaaaaa!! Mrs Hobb I BEG you!! We’ve suffered enough with One Dumbass Teenager! Fitzchilvary growing up is enough Pure Dumbassery-driven decision making for the next ten years of my life, and that’s from someone who’s still running on dumbassery themselves!!
The worst of it is... rn I’m like Althea... hoe plz... stop... but I can feel it. This is how Fitz got me... is this a stupid teenager with Big Problems who’s gonna grow through and despite them? What is this within my heart?
And Robin Hobb bursts through my door, my beating heart in her hands, slams it on the table and bellows “ITS THE SEEDS OF LOVE”
oct 19 2018
Kennit “[wintro's french name] is beautiful” Pirate King
Hobbs recurring gay themes r so ??? To me but at the same time bring me so much joy lol
Canon nonbinary Annoyance Fool “in love with Fitzchilvary” Prophet
Althea “drag king” Vestrit and lesbian/bi girl solidarity friendship with amber.
Malta “Homophobic Queen” Havre.
And now, absolute legend kennit “surcoure do you love me” pirate king. I know one gay couple is actually endgame over the course of Hobbs books [ndlr i don't remember wtf i was talking about] and I’m thinking it might be this one. I mean, it’s not great hashtag representation but it’s great story telling!
Sweet monk Wintrow with dumbass pirate kennit? Who’s completely and irrevocably in love and admiration for him?
This idiot of a kennit is literally constantly like [french ranting about kennit etta hate and wintrow love]
Lol kennit mate come out
however the next entry doesn't make much sense but features the sentences "kennit thinks he’s so smart!! Fuck you, half a pirate!!!" (the title of the entry (oct 26 2018) is "kennit bitchass of the century" so clearly he fell out of favour)
nov 26 2018
Literally in ROTE if I was there for one of Ambers prophecies I would legit be like... ok sis... wig?
nov 30 2018
Checked the notes on that women writers rec list and several other people already wrote “this is Robin Hobb erasure” in those exact words :’)
So in honour of this hivemind I must say : I am having the time of my life with the Liveship Traders, excites rant with (huge) spoilers ahead :
I am at that point where Kennit is about to get absolutely WRECKED and I swear to god it feels so satisfying. The character arc and development for every single character in these books is pure mastery. In the case of Kennit you really go from “what a despicable man he really just has luck on his side” to “well I guess even if he did good accidentally he still did good... I almost love this Awful Imbecile” and finish straight into “OH!! NEVERMIND he really was a despicable man the whole time!!!”, a pit of disgust right on time where the whole story is setting up to absolutely destroy him. Kennit is a great example of how “does the right thing for the wrong reasons” is not equivalent in terms of ethics as “does the right thing for the right reasons”. But to quote a great thinker “they really had us in that first half I’m not gonna lie!”
What I really like in these books is that the centristTM opinions of certain main characters are not automatically & heavily presented as the right ones. I am still cackling at Hiémain’s “but they didn’t deserve to die!!” bullshit not being put on a pedestal. Ms Hobb did that! Her mind! Also the Vestrit family not being given an (entirely, let’s be real) free pass for not standing up to Kyle and letting Vivacia happen. The main characters, the actual heroes try to pass off responsibility for bad things and in most media it’s like “but they didn’t directly kill someone with their own hands so aren’t they kinda innocent?”
and then it skips to a single entry line (dec 3 2018) "reyn khuprus is a massive idiot" :')
dec 12 2018
Fitz I missed u so much
I have not seen this boy for 9 books and this hoe is worried abt being ugly, please never change boo
dec 14 2018
Fitz and the fool interacting is genuinely maddening I’m just walking along like KISS! KISS! KISS!
Fitz you are an immense idiot and the smartest one of the bunch is the goddamn wolf.
Jan 8 2019
Ohhhh my goodness gracious
I have gone full baby on Dutiful, he is the sweetest most cute drama teen since Fitzchivalry himself. I love him with the force of an exploding sun. His interactions with every other character are both precious and absolutely hilarious. He’s got a great mini-me vibe going on with Fitz, wrapped in Hobbs usual delicious irony.
Also poor Dutiful so lonely and starving for warmth, human attention!! The bit where Fitz is like all them hoes been begging me for this for MONTHS but I just can’t say no to those baby blues. I was like congrats Dutiful you just got a dad! Free dad with your meal!
And the Fool interaction like Dutiful you lucky boy you! You went from zero dads to TWO! It’s buy one get one free.
This dad was kinda mean so I had to get another one to counter balance it.
Jan 15 2019
Fitzchilvary « Homophobia » Farseer
Fitz!!!!!!!! Fitz!!!!!!!! Robin Hobb I swear to god you better gay these boys up or i will see you in court
the latest entry is apparently post "the golden fool"
Jan 29 2019
BELOVED WENT HAND TO MOUUUUUUTH!!!!!!
I am absolutely losing it! hand to mouth hand to mouth !!! Fitz called him BELOVED!!!!!! YAS MF QUEEN! Icon! legend!
and if i remember rightly (which i don't, it was five years ago, i don't remember anything) i got real upset at queerbaiting and stopped reading. i like googled "are they actually gay" the answer came back hashtag no and i stopped reading out of disgust :/
#rote#fitzchivalry farseer#well i still love these books intently but i did get really cross at the time
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BBS Dialogue Prompts: #220
BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starters: [ 9 ]
VANOSSGAMING
I no longer communicate with you peasants.
He's not going to remember that battle, he's going to think it was a dream.
According to my calculations, you will die.
It sounds like your room is bugged.
I’m just really good at flanking.
Stop touching each other and selling organs on the side.
What’s your schedule next week?
Wait, you just found that out now?
I’m being pushed in the other room.
Get away from me.
What do you mean ‘run away,’ what the fuck is that?
I’m pretty sure you’re the cheater for punching me.
No, I’m healing.
It’s all one dollar bills, so not very much.
It’s a friendship test.
It’s motion activated, you idiot!
Those were practice rounds.
They might die pretty easily from this one.
You can definitely still die.
Don’t fucking kill me by jumping.
H2ODELIRIOUS
Well, I don’t know how to leave.
I’m here, open the door…oh, come on!
You ain’t taking me down.
Oh no, what’s going to happen to her?
I can’t believe I didn’t get paid.
I wasn’t doing it for her sake, I was doing it to get a damn cheeseburger.
I’m gonna steal his damn drink, I’m thirsty.
This is the place I got robbed.
We’re taking the damn car.
I couldn’t save myself!
CaRtOoNz
Nice kills, nice kills.
Oh, that was me? I didn’t even know that was me!
You were through some shit, huh?
Maybe he’ll get yeeted by a monster.
This shit is wild.
Back the hell off of me!
I'm getting overwhelmed!
I need fucking help!
Oh, we're fine, they can't get in.
He's going back for the gun.
SMII7Y
Oh shit, guys, I spotted one.
No, they’re zombies, don’t let them confuse you, they’re shapeshifters.
They’re shapeshifters, take them out…
Look at them climbing up the wall.
Did you see the giant cheeseburger?
Why am I on fire?
Is that one dead, I can’t fucking tell.
Get in, it’s safe in here.
Who wants to experiment right now, so we can use this.
It’s the thought that counts.
BLARG
Let me give him a little pepper spray.
Another civilian, I got 'em.
Did we win, did we do it?
I'm smelling it.
I'm watching this door to the left.
Why is our captain crying?
Thank you for throwing that at my head.
No witch stuff!
Wow, that looked really fun.
I'm so glad you got to do that.
TERRORISER
Where the fuck is he?
Dig underneath.
Maybe we have to follow the rainbow.
Oh, it's dropping gold.
I feel like we're killing a child.
They're supposed to be hard to catch.
Unmuting to say that was a great joke.
I don't speak that…okay?
I'm from Dublin, I don't know what an 808 is!
Your Canadian internet sucks!
NOGLA
It’s all about perspective.
It’s not good for me!
I ain’t telling no one nothing.
Maybe I wasn’t crouching…
The five percent that were wrong, you’re the real ones.
We were there in spirit.
Can I have it?
Damn it, that kind of hurt.
Hit me harder.
Oh man, it feels so good.
COURAGEJD
I think they’re dead.
How does that make any sense?
I think he died or something…
You guys got to kill him, I’m dead.
No, don’t pass out, don’t pass out.
That's a pretty good class.
There’s no shot that I lost that gun fight.
What is he shooting me with?
They have a second of immunity.
Eat it, let's see what happens.
MS.VIXEN
He does this really well, sometimes it worries me.
Oh God, no.
Okay, why are you telling me?
I didn't do any of that, that was the ghost.
What is this thing I'm holding?
Oh God, not again, not again!
Fuck you, guys, you left me in there.
So, do we need to grab those cameras again?
I get it, I get it…
Yeah, you're just using me because I'm the only girl...
#banana bus squad#bbs#banana bus squad prompts#bbs prompts#prompts#dialogue prompts#vanossgaming#h2odelirious#CaRtOoNz#smii7y#blarg#blargmyschnoople#the terroriser#daithi de nogla#courageJD#ms.vixen#rpf#rpf prompts#writing prompts#prompt list#tw swearing#text#words
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I realized I need more of this in my life. I know occasionally it’s done, even in canon, and I find it adorable. I was thinking about like the introspection and all that jazz. Because brain likes thinking about the specifics oof, so..
You know how people are sometimes in sync? Like they’ll laugh and lean back at the same time, or adjust on their chair in the same direction at the same time. As if they’re NPCs, it’s so utterly surreal when you catch it and they aren’t even looking at each other.
Now this sorta stuff comes from a lot of different things, it’s signs you like or enjoy being around the other person or they’re just sorta rubbing off on you after some time you spend with or around each-other.
Now consider this, the Batfamily spend a lot of time together...- Not only that! Their training requires them to be rather intimate with one another’s body languages, both a result of understanding body languages needed in detective work, and when fighting. I can imagine they’re taught to work well with others, but since they’re trained by Batman and trained together regularly, they’re probably seem less when it comes to the familiarity.
Now I assume a result of this training also means they’re very aware of their body, how it moves and what it can do, it’s limits, etc. This also extends to their special awareness, and a underlining detective work that is probably always running depending on the Bat. Some of them can relax better then others, but there’s always a sort of alertness there. So you could argue the bats being in sync at any time or place wouldn’t happen often out side of maybe fighting or something.
But that’s however you look at it, and there’s also a logic to the sync thing okay? So arguments sake make it make sense, I’m sure all your pretty little heads can fill in the blanks. I sure can’t, I’m too bothered by the sudden realization of the existence of Gotham Knights (the show, not the game, I preordered the game, I know people are hating on it but as a very very very causal, I die off from playing games and then return an couple months or years later, I have no issues. Plus, Jason? Cmon, I can’t miss out on that. Plus the Court of Owls seem cool in the World Premiere Trailer.)
I got distracted, back on track. So imagine this, both as their alter egos and as civilians, they have moments of being in “sync”. Mirroring of body language, however subtle or outright they are. So no matter how they treat or act around eachother, or tell eachother in front of others, sometimes, if you’re paying attention or are fairly close to one of them, you can see an undercurrent of eachothers body language and behaviour. Something reminiscent of the Bat you’re close to. You can just tell they’re close.
Now take that up a couple notches.
As the Bats, the eerie ness of mirroring is something not too surprising, but none the less terrifying. Easily strikes fear in those who witness it, even in the most mundane of ways. But it’s usually used for intimation, and can even be intentionally utilized rather then spontaneous. Either way, it sort of fits? Doesn’t take away the displacement one may feel when they see it in real time. But it can also be adorable. No one comments on it though, so no one knows if it’s intentional or when it’s intentional, let alone if the Bats are aware they’re doing it when they do.
But oh hoh ho, as the Wayne’s? Gothams Darlings? It’s completely out of character when or if used for intimidation! Generally it’s adorable and there’s always compilations circling around of when it’s caught in camera. A running joke. Even the unspoken words they have sometimes, while a lot subtler is there. Something often shrugged off as people being close, like old married couples, or people with their kids sometimes who have a conversation without actually saying anything except nonsense and incomplete sentences that can barely be called sentences. Or close friends from across a classroom who still manage to have the sort of conversations but so much worse as they were separated for that exact reason in the first place.
It’s amazing, adorable, and gives substance to conspiracy theorists who wonder if it’s something that runs deeper. There’s always something about the Wayne’s, no one can put their finger on it, and it’s probably what made them so famous rather then just another billionaire family you don’t keep up with. Practically celebrity status that backs up their more important weight in society and Gotham. It helps on all fronts.
So when they turn their heads at the same time in the same way, spin their pen in a way reminiscent of their Bo training from their time as Robin on a smaller scale at the same time as they’re being interviewed or brainstorming (or smth). When they smile at the same time in sync, or tilt their heads, adjust their eating, sit in similar or the same way, lean in at the same time in a reaccuring pattern?
It’s sensational to people and the media have a field day.
I feel like, by the time the Bats realize it, which I don’t doubt wouldn’t happen sooner rather then later, they lean into it as well. Some see it as creepy, others see it as adorable, sometimes both, but it sparks different ideas, theories and feelings across the board to their and everyone’s never ending amusement.
It’s a small thing, but I feel like it’d show how close they are at the end of the day, and how much they love one another, in a subtle way. I can see Cass being elated and having a very unique feeling to it, because body language and movement has always been something intimate to her. A quiet or unmaintainable happiness crosses through her as she watched it happen.
Bruce? I think he’d find it adorable. As Batman, he’d 100% use it for fear factors when he realizes the effects it has with their alter egos. As Brucie Wayne? Even Brucie has an agenda, he’s the god damn Batman, and public favour can only work in their favour. But also, he’s much more open about how adorable he finds it. He, in a way none of the others, would start to pick up and recognize patterns that they picked up from Robin training, or more personal ones from himself. Noticing the profound impact it has on any of the Bats, even beyond the Robins like the Batgirls from training? Having raised them and with his own training seeing the patterns they picked up from one another? He’d notice them in the most intimate manners that would touch him in a unique way not most would recognize or understand.
I’d mention the other bats, how it effects and the more intricate things but, this is getting long and I have no idea why paragraph spacing is being weird. I just thought this was a neat headcanon that I know I’ve seen in much more subtler manners, or completely unintentional. It’s not just for comedic affect, but could definitely go that route, but rather it’s farther then that.
This isn’t just a result of closeness, it’s a result of closeness AND a training. They look at the world differently then your average Joe, always analyzing to varying degrees because it’s ingrained in them, and they rarely relax completely, even when they do they’ve conditioned themselves to sit or relax in a way that lets them easily maneuver their bodies. It’s second nature to them, like breathing. It’s like how if you meet someone with etiquette training, like the really complicated one, they’ll sit a certain way, and reach for the correct utensils easily. It doesn’t hinder them because A) they’re very aware of their bodies, it’s what separates them from CIAs and most spies or the like. They’re the best of the best after all, it’s easy to mask or shrug off as something else. B) Bat training is unique, there’s elements of a lot of things, not just Al Ghul related, they’ve shaped them to their own strengths and weaknesses, and what they need. They’ve picked up and expanded, used skills beyond what they’ve learned from others. Bruce tailored his training, to prevent killing but be enough necessary force.
Hell, I’m certain he’s even taught them all the skills to flat out kill people with ease, the best of best assassins, to recognize the ways you can kill a person, disarm them and cripple them etc, since it’s an incredibly important to recognize different ways you can take someone down when fighting. A skill that takes time and effort if, training to acquire. They’ve also, over time, have those things on their belts. None of them are stupid yknow, even Jason who’s generally depicted as not the smartest of them is most likely absolutely b r i l l i a n t.
I’m sure even some of you wouldn’t think Dick is as smart as he is, hell I didn’t for the longest time despite most form of fiction growing up OBVIOUSLY telling me otherwise. (Something easy to accept but always left me baffled, because I just forget that it’s apart of his character. It’s not as important as it is for Bruce, Tim or Barbara’s character, being a bigger part of their characters canonically and in fanon.)
I started rambling again aren’t I, what was I saying? Words I guess. End of headcanon, ima nap, powers back.
I know these are headcanons people may already have or express, even if it’s not explicit. Just thought I’d give my 2 cents. Also I had a power outage and now you shall all suffer my wrath. Muhahahahah
I have no idea where these gifs are from but iI feel like I need to use more gifs or smth. Tumblr is just so lacking in them sometimes tho. P a i n
#bruce wayne headcanon#jason todd headcanon#tim drake headcanon#damian wayne headcanon#cassandra cain#stephenie brown#barbara gordon#headcanons#batman headcanon#batfamily headcanons#batfamily#batclan#what are tags#how do you use tumblr#I’ve had this app for way too long to still barely#not even#understand it.
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Wait. Sorry, but I read your tags and you have dyscalculia? I didn't even think it has a name, I thought it was part of the dyslexia chain of disorders... Which it is! But I didn't know it had a name! I can't believe someone has the same type of inconvenient bullshit as me! Tho, I'm guessing mine is much lighter, since I'm actually pretty good at math. With a lot of checking and people triple checking for me, and struggling with a line of an equation for like an hour before I can comprehend how simple it is in reality. Same with letters tho. The brain sometimes not comprehending what is visually presented and convincing itself it is wrong, when in fact it isn't. Words appearing out of nowhere in the middle of sentences when writing. Or words changing shapes and meanings as you read them, so you have to re-read a few times until your brain understands it. Fun times, sorry, I got into it.
I can't differentiate between 7 and 9 what's the quirk you got from it? XD I know it ain't funny, but I got excited! I mean, if this makes you uncomfortable to talk about, absolutely ignore this please ☀️
oh don’t worry, it’s part of the tumblrcore experience to read tags lmao.
but i do actually, i was also diagnosed quite late i was fourteen at the time. and boy, the struggles i had with it was huge and still is. i didn’t know it was in the same chain as dyslexia but thinking of it now, makes a lot of sense. nice to know a fellow dyscalculic too, i’ve never met anyone either. i don’t think i can define mine as lighter since it was one of the main source of anxiety for me growing up lmao. i just god, i suffered with the bare minimum when it comes to math. even the simplest of problems is difficult for me. i have trouble helping my almost 10 year old sister with her math stuff, to give you an example. i just run from it in any given circumstance. i think i do also double, triple check any calculations i do. i even take a step further and do it at least five times to make sure and my mind sometimes still goes “are you actually sure it’s correct?” and proceeds to count at least two or three more times to be sure, even when i have a calculator with me. my main struggle is forgetting the numbers i’m seeing, exchanging them, i have trouble telling the difference between thousands and millions and whatever else gets too may zeros or too many numbers, basically anything after 900 gets hard for me. it also affects my left and right, cannot get it right for the life of me. reading old clocks takes a few minutes lmao. but truly exchanging things was one of the main issues for me, and i wouldn’t even realise it. it was like my brain couldn’t see the mistake unless someone helped me get there. hm, what else?
< > these two symbols? trust me, i still don’t remember them to this day, i would have to use a visual written explanation to remember which one was which and i still would take a bit of time to get there because it’s just confusing to me. i never had trouble with letters necessarily, i don’t remember rn anyway. those math problems that required you to get an answer after seeing something like “matt has two apples and karen has whatever blah blah blah” i just couldn’t do it. geometric math was my deathbed. pythagora’s theorems HOLY FUCKING HELL my most hated back then. my brain would shut down and not work at all. the multiplication table thing? i swear to god unless it’s two or five (counting on my fingers btw) i can’t do it. it’s like i see math and i think i get it but i don’t, not really. it makes no sense in my brain, i can’t seem to grasp it fully. and it’s so frustrating. i could complain about my brain’s lack of understanding for a lifetime, okay?! 🤣
#maybe it’s also related to my adhd? idk#i read somewhere that the possibility of having one and the other is quite high but im not sure#i truly feel so much anxiety when i have to deal with numbers#i used to work in two places where i had to deal with cash. i used to play it off laughing and saying iit can’t count just to take some weig#weight of my shoulders if i made any mistake#which i did often#repeatedly because i just overlooked them#sometimes iI just don’t see the numbers and i skip something#but i guess that’s also my adhd brain being inattentive lmao#who knows where one begins and the other ends at this point#ra☀️#youdontloveme-yet#gei’s nonsense answers#dyscalculia
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Not a super happy post, TW? Vague mention of suicidal thoughts and self harm.
Making a little note of my mental health issues lately since I’ll be seeing someone about it the morning and I’m all kinds of nervous - I’m happy I’m having the chance to start treatment so soon though.
So for the last few years I’ve been in some kind of funk that has been steadily progressing. It started out as a weird brain fog that made it really hard to think and “hear” myself - like talking to yourself in your brain. I’d stutter, have to force words out, and sentences would run together and turn into an incoherent jumble of thoughts.
After that came physical symptoms that aligned with my anxiety getting worse; Feeling sick and nauseous all the time, chest pains, heart palpitations, and most noticeably - Vertigo and Hypoglycemia.
I don’t have POTS and I’m cleared for diabetes, my CT scans and EKG I got from my trip to the ER earlier this year we’re also clean so at least I know my brain looks physically alright.
Another thing was how much harder it’s gotten to do basic things; like laundry, cooking, simply getting out of bed and using the bathroom in the morning. I’ll just sit there fighting with myself for a few hours until my back hurts enough to get me moving.
I don’t want to talk about the worse stuff in detail but I’ve struggled with increasingly manic delusions that I struggle to get out of and can’t tell what’s reality and what isn’t, as well as more harmful thoughts towards myself and sometimes other people for many years, I used to be able to talk myself down and calm myself but it’s gotten harder and harder to do so. I’m not physically self destructive aside from mild dermatillomania, picking at existing areas of psoriasis that is on my scalp and behind my ears.
Another big thing was my emotions being all over the place, little things would stress me out so much to the point of tears like my mom having her phone on full volume while watching videos in the living room while I was there watching TV, and my friends not interacting with me directly. I’d get so upset over not being invited to spontaneous get-togethers online (meaning it wasn’t planned and just happened) as well as just people not talking to me frequently. I was aware of my feelings and I knew that clinginess was bad and that other people had their own lives and were not responsible for my happiness so in my head the only option I had was distance myself and self-isolate and remove any ability I might have that would result in me messaging people out of the blue either not thinking or by impulse. Even now I have removed all ability for myself to potentially message my friends from my phone, I still have access to group chats though and them directly from my computer - it’s harder to contact them that way so I do it only when needed.
For the most part my friends were not happy with that, I’m glad they didn’t let me try to cut them off completely because I don’t think that would end well for me at all. I’m a very lonely person and I’m very desperate for any human interaction I can get, which I hate. I wish there was an alternative that didn’t require me to have to go to my friends all the time just because I want to talk about my stupid little art projects or talk about the movie I’m watching. Hell my mom found a little anole in our house that I kept overnight so he had the sunshine to find another spot to Brumate in the morning and the very first thing I did was send them a picture of it to the group chat I have access to.
I want to try and be less annoying? If that makes sense? I made social media to share my art, projects, and even stupid things like fictional characters I like or what lizard I saw today. So I need to use that.
I don’t know how mental health treatment will go, most likely thing is either being referred to a therapist who will hopefully accept insurance or I’m going to be put on medication. Either by my GP or getting a referral to a Psychiatrist, the latter not being super likely though.
Fingers crossed I get lucky either way and that I find a good therapist/medication works well on the first try
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for @space-ace-ravenclaw-demigod because you’re the absolut Queen of headcanons for the boys. This one is for you, babe.
“You’re too early!” Steve enters through the lanai rubbing his hair with a towel.
“Half past we agreed.” Danny parks his butt against the old chest of drawers next to the dining table, nipping at a steaming coffee.
Steve throws the towel over his shoulder and without even batting an eye he reaches for the coffee mug and gently removes it from Danny’s hand. “You made coffee? How long are you already here? You’re not an early bird. I am. Nervous?”
Danny elevates his eyebrows. “You have no manners. That’s my coffee - “ He touches his lips with the fingers Steve just brushed with his own ocean-wrinkled fingers a second ago.
“It’s my house, my mug, my coffee maker - “ Steve just watches Danny over the rim of the mug like observing a target through spyglasses about two miles away.
Still, Danny can’t tell if this is worth something to lose a night’s sleep over. “Sometimes you’re a child.”
Steve laughs and walks away with Danny’s coffee.
“And just for the record. I’m not nervous. It’s court. Nothing I haven’t seen before. It’s important today though. I want this asshole behind bars. We need to be on time.”
“I’m always on time. Gimme me five minutes. Three to shower, two to get dressed. Get the files, would you? On the desk by the window. I made some further notes just in case.”
Danny listens to Steve’s retreating steps, follows him in his mind to his bedroom, hears the opening of the closet doors, and then the low snick of the bathroom door closing. The running water makes him heave a sigh. He forces his mind off those images he has no right to think about. He turns to get the files and grabs them only to stare at a notebook Steve must have left by accident. It has a look that doesn’t fit Steve’s image of a neat freak and a we-do-it-the-Navy-way nerd. It’s well-used with dog ears and rings of coffee cups. It looks like it has been pushed one too many times in the back pocket of some pants without a care in the world how it would survive. It looks maltreated. It’s so unfamiliar to see this piece lying on the desk next to a stack of plain white paper, pens and other writing utensils neatly orderd, books, and other things a man needs to keep his affairs in order.
Danny knows it’s wrong but he has no control over his hand that touches the notebook. It’s the kind of cheap notebook one can buy in any shop. No title. He opens it. The first page is filled with doodles and just drawings, nothing makes sense. Some single words are written repeatedly like ‘sun’, or ‘wind’, or ‘brothers’. The next three pages are empty except the circles. All kinds of shaped circles. The most interesting page is full of hand-written text and the title says ‘what makes me happy’ with a skull sketch right next to it.
Danny knows he should close it. This is private, intimate to a level he has no right to pry about but the way the letters move together and form that sentence tugs at something inside his chest. Steve must go to therapy and this is one of his homework he has been ordered to do. He has never mentioned therapy sessions. Danny feels a sting of hurt because yeah, because he wishes Steve would trust him with this.
Steve’s handwriting is always full of self-esteem, accurate and solid. But this here . . . these screams of insecurity and feeling at a loss of words to express something he has been forced to do. Danny knows how Steve hates such mind-befuddling stuff. He loathes head shrinks and what comes with it. But he is willing to go with the load of homework. It must be serious then.
The water has stopped running.
Danny blinks and inhales deeply. He wants to look away but his eyes catch the words that are written mushed together on the page with too high pressure on the pen. ‘Beachbeachsunsandfoodlotsoffoodbeachsunsandfoodlotsofoodwhatthefuckdoiknowidontwantthis...’ and there in between was one word, crossed out a few times almost unreadable but Danny recognizes his name in the middle of this worm of linked up words. The understanding causes a sharp pain piercing through his chest and he jerks back when he hears Steve thundering down the stairs.
“Ready! Are you coming?” Steve shouts in his direction but Danny is already at the door, looking strictly ahead and pulling it open.
“Took you long enough,” Danny complains unnessecarily and keeps the car keys out of Steve’s reach. “I’m driving.” His heart still hiccups in his chest. Steve wears a fragrance like amber and spice and the ache in his chest ups.
“Don’t be a dick. You waited exactly five minutes.” Steve grumbles and makes a scene about his long legs that don’t fit in the too small foot space of the passenger seat.
“Don’t even try to be difficult. And don’t whine about getting car sick. Today, I’m driving. I’ll take you out to lunch after court. What say you?”
“Just you and me?” Steve sounds tense.
“Yeah, just us.” Danny hopes he says it casually enough and, of course, he catches the strain in Steve’s muscles. He doesn’t know what to do with this.
“You’re paying?” Steve twists in his seat.
“Was my plan, yeah. Why? Got a problem with being invited?” Danny just has decided that he has a new goal every day: to pull a smile from Steve. A real one. The rare one. He shifts gear. “You never have your wallet on you. Got used to it. So? Deal?”
“Yeah, deal but I’m buying. You’re driving. Partners share.” Steve doesn’t meet Danny’s eyes and kicks with his feet into the end of the foot space.
“Okay, fair enough and stop with the kicking already. You’re like a child.” Danny filters into the morning traffic. His heart doesn’t want to calm down. Steve just offered to pay for lunch. He gets lost in thoughts. That’s a fucking new one.
“You okay?” Steve asks after a while into the silence.
“Yeah, good. All good. Just getting ready for court. Mentally ready.” Danny tries to pull his inner eyes from the picture of Steve’s handwriting. The non-verbal message left an imprint on his heart.
Steve side-eyes him more than once. Danny’s stomach doesn’t unknot.
“What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that, huh? I won’t jump from any fucking roof because you’re paying for lunch later. I don’t owe you a favor because of it.” Danny rants at Steve feeling already better.
“What? You think I’m that guy? Seriously, Danny? That’s mean, even for you.No, especially from you.” Steve moves his legs and crosses his arms over his chest but Danny sees the smile that tugs at his lips.
Danny shuts up but his fingers tingle with the urge to reach over and touch Steve. They’re going to have lunch today. He’d say it’s a start.
#h50#mcdanno#ficlet#something pre-slash#boys in love#a gift for you babe#hope you're okay#lots of love#getting ready for the NaNo vibe
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Here’s a run-on sentence thing I wrote with the idea of “Din and Cobb are hook-up buddies who have feelings for one another but are too stupid to talk about it” and this is from Cobb’s POV <3
it’s nighttime and for once, you’ve found a place next to me in my bed—i hope against my better judgement that you’ll still be here in the morning ‘cause i could go on and on about the ways you touch me in the dark but the truth is that i prefer your silhouette against the suns, and i like that i can trace over your sharp edges to kiss your soft shadows when you’re gone but shadows are never stable in sand— footprints don’t even last the hour—but sometimes i miss you even when i can still hear the sand underneath your boots which i’m sure is no good but i like it this way, i like when you get like this despite it not making sense because i’ll always prefer watching you go than making you leave, and i know that doesn’t make sense but neither do we; the best things bear no logic sometimes, the truth is neither of us care about this making sense, we just care for one another—even when you show up at my doorstep with a war on your mind, i will still take your hand and follow you into oblivion because i prefer watching you go than making you leave, and i like seeing your stupid smile even though i’ve never seen it, i know you’re smiling under that helmet, and i hope you know you can’t bury everything under there, but i’ll be there to put it all back when it gives because i have memorised every gentle curve and keen edge of you, just to kiss your shadows when i miss you, which is always, because you come and go so quickly that the sand misses you before your boots even kiss them—the sand is like me in that respect—so you’re still lying in my bed and i already miss you, and like this run-on thought, i keep running from the truth, which is that i actually hate it when you leave because i’d rather you stayed, and this is a long-winded way of telling you that i hope against my better judgement that you will still be here in the morning.
I hope you guys like these writing blurbs I post lmao
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crazy little thing called love:
the previous episode’s post isn’t showing up in the tag for some reason? not for me at least
alicia’s parents are back together… but not for long!
cal’s leaving alicia a surprise in her locker because he feels bad about not trusting her but he discovers that she has a second phone💀
ah alicia’s dad’s “business partner”
oh look they’re kissing!
aand he ends up pinned against a skip by his car🙃
LMAOO alicia goes “ethan you remember my mam yeah?” and he goes “yes, you had the gonorrhoea! … sorry…” SKDKFKKFG WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT😭😭😭 ohhh i miss him
oh yeah this is cal meeting alicia’s parents for the first time lol
i love dylan’s outfit
oop cal’s noticed martin holding howard’s hand
lmaoo ethan telling cal how it was awkward having to treat alicia’s mum after the whole sti thing and cal just didn’t know about that at all so ethan explains how she got it off the dad because “apparently he was sleeping around with other women” and cal’s like “well i’m not sure about that last part” 😭😭😭
cal says do you think being a player runs in the family and shows ethan alicia’s secret phone and guesses her pin because she’d leant him her bank card to get drinks one night (her pin is 4421 if anyone was wondering - for her bank and her secret phone💀)
she has flirty messages with “loverboy” that mention scrubs so they know it must be someone in the hospital
it always makes me laugh how ethan is very clearly just as upset, if not more upset, than cal is at this development, and not in a supportive brother way! but cal just doesn’t notice at all😭
cal tries to say martin can’t come into resus but alicia’s like “come on cal, martin and my dad are close” and cal’s like “you’re telling me”😬😬 so of course they then have to come clean
alicia telling them the origin of her nickname ‘scoobie’🥺🥺
“i always loved you jackie, i never lied about that. but you knew my parents, you think my father would’ve accepted a gay son 40 years ago? my friends? so i did what everyone was telling me to do, i conformed. and then i met you and we had alicia, my beautiful little girl, and suddenly i’ve got everything in the world to lose”😥😥
aww he’d been with martin for over 9 years
gem’s had 2 weeks added on to her sentence
cal’s now having second thoughts about meeting up with alicia’s “mystery man” because “maybe sometimes things are better left alone” and ethan goes “we need to know, cal” WE???? then he corrects himself “i mean, you need to know”😭😭😭 ohh ethan you’re soo lucky cal’s distracted
LMAOO louise getting noel and max to model wedding dresses for duffy
“loverboy” turns out to be max and he’s SO confused. ethan’s like “you’re sleeping with alicia? behind his back?” well one of you certainly did! max is still so confused bc he didn’t know he’d been talking to alicia and ethan PUNCHES HIM AND CAL HAS TO HOLD HIM BACK😭😭
that’s soo out of left field for ethan and i remember people at the time theorising that this was a sign of his huntington’s starting as aggression irritability and mood swings are often some of the first symptoms and even now i still think that makes the most sense. with hindsight idk if that’s what the writers were actually going for because they never made it explicit or anything but it could be! the psychiatric symptoms often start years before motor symptoms (the prodromal stage) and ofc from cal’s death onwards it’s impossible to pick out what’s caused by hd from what’s caused by, well, literally everything else, but at this point this really stands out. he’s obviously hurt and angry, as is cal, but his reaction is so extreme and sudden, like his emotional response has been exaggerated
tbh the writers probably just thought it was funny to have ethan reacting in a way that’s obviously not just anger on cal’s behalf but cal still not notice anything suspicious. and it is funny!
alicia tells them she was just pranking max😭😭
“we’ve had fun together, cal, haven’t we? why’ve we stopped?” “i do trust you” “you hardly know me, not really. which is why it worked so well before, it was just” “fun” “everything eventually falls apart when it’s held together by a lie” :( she seems like she’s about to tell him about sleeping with ethan but then she changes her mind
poor alicia :(
aw louise bursts into noel’s interview to tell them how he saved a kids life and the machines can’t do that
aww jackie realises that howard loves and needs martin and goes and tells martin to go and be with him. funny how she didn’t need to try and rape him isn’t it🤔🤔
LMAO charlie and duffy are practising their first dance in the staff room and some others are watching them but then dylan comes in and puts his tea in the microwave without even acknowledging them and they’re all staring at him and he genuinely doesn’t even realise why😭😭😭😭 i love him sjskdkfkk
robyn goes to cal “hey that’s gonna be you and alicia next” yeahhh i don’t think so
they’re all getting ready for the stag do and duffy says to bring charlie back in one piece lmao well they will eventually
max tries to get dylan to come but he’s like “i don’t think there’s a thing in the world worse than stag nights” but then he says they can give him a lift to the kennels because he has to pick dervla up and max is like “you can do whatever you want, you’re driving” “you what?” “everyone else has had a drink” “oh my god this day just gets better and better doesn’t it” skskfkgkgk
alicia tells cal that her parents split up but it’s probably for the best and cal’s like “yeah it’s never easy though, no matter how old you are” hmm interesting… definitely sounds like he’s implying his parents split up which again doesn’t fit with the original backstory richard winsor talked about where ethan stayed at home and had a more family oriented upbringing than cal did does it?
lmao cal makes alicia think he’s proposing and the absolute FEAR in her eyes SJSKDKFK but it’s just lingerie and he’s like “see we can still have fun together”
cal’s like “we good?” and alicia says yeah… but not for long!
alicia goes “bet you give these to all your girlfriends” and cal goes “only the ones i’m in love with” oh poor cal
lmaoo ethan gives cal his stag do t-shirt and shows him his which says ‘barry 2017 world tour “ethan-ator”’ and cal’s like “oh you are not my brother” and ethan just laughs and goes “THE ETHAN-ATOR” DNDKSKJFF just how much has he had to drink already??? he’s also wearing it OVER his shirt???
the cuff link falls out of cal’s jacket as he goes to get changed and he says to charlie “can you believe i nearly blew it all for that?” and charlie’s like “but you didn’t!” but then ethan comes back over, notices it, and goes “hey where’d you get that? i’ve been looking for that everywhere!” and cal is SHOOK but ethan has no idea what he just revealed😭😭
yay the stag the dog and the sheep time!!!!!
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