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#sometimes I lose motivation or get very slightly overwhelmed
studentbyday · 2 months
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30 days of intentionality
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starting this challenge with the goal of taking it one day at a time. i have a hard time doing that these days. i spend more time ruminating on the past or worrying about the future than staying in the present, even if that's when i'm most content. not sure how i'll format my posts and most likely, i'll only do weekly updates bc daily ones are too overwhelming. i'll just go with the flow, trying to trust that everything will end up as it's meant to be and maybe i'll be more productive as focusing primarily on the present moment becomes a habit.
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1. suo gân (arr. john williams for the ambrosian junior choir): i believe that if everyone lived by the idea of global citizenship and so saw the humanity in every individual from every background, there would be no war. reading the news fills me with fear, sorrow, and anxiety, but i also feel the responsibility to stay informed. did some studying today, more than yesterday, but it was kind of uncomfortable with the state of global politics lurking in the back of my mind. i'm still a little behind on school.
2. souvenir de paganini (chopin): today is not so bad. i'm making progress academically, but i do need to make time for social activities soon or i will get lonely and lose what little motivation i have very quickly.
3. once upon a december (arr. emile pandolfi): sometimes in the face of events and issues much bigger than myself that i have no control over, i feel like my dreams are pointless bc i think there's no way achieving them or trying to achieve them could possibly empower me to make real and important change that can truly benefit many. who knows if the future would even allow me to get that far. there are many things that could change the course of our lives that we don't have control over. but if others in worse situations than me and others much better informed than me can still have hope, then so can i. i didn't do much other than pharmacology and a little bit of philosophy today. i made more progress in pharmacology than expected, but that's only bc i didn't do any psych work. i also earned a few more mastery points on khan academy's integrated math 1 (not a priority, i know, but i wanted an easy win) and started lab tasks. i'm far from done with that, i need to do a little every day... i don't want to let them down! 🥺 (note to self: lying in bed is maybe NOT a good study break activity bc that just makes me not wanna do anything else after that and it's very very very hard to get out of that procrastination rut once i let myself fall into it.) 4. let's stay together (al green): everything should be going well, except i'm easily overwhelmed, and this time, it wasn't in an openly frazzled way, it was in a tired and slightly defeated "what's the point?" way, so i didn't realize it as quickly as i usually do. after some bed rest, cuddles 🧸, listening to steve jobs' commencement speech, and a little yoga, i felt better. "You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." was something i didn't know i needed to hear today. i modified my to-do list and found that the list of things i "must do" was nearly as long as the list of things i "want to do" 😅
5. kreutzer sonata, movt. 1 (beethoven): pretty sure i've mentioned some of these songs before but...they really fit the mood! sometimes i feel things so strongly that i develop a tightening in my chest that can only be relieved in a scream... since i can't actually scream and i don't actually really like the physical feeling of it, i scream through exercise and music 😅 beethoven is very nice for when i'm feeling very annoyed or angry, especially if it's an anxious kind of angry or if it's anger at injustice/inequality. i can't find a piano solo version that does the fiery spirit of the violin justice. so in the vague future when i actually play this, either i try (and perhaps fail) to replicate that on the piano, or i find a violinist friend who would want to play with me 😅 right now though, imagining how i would physically create that sound on the piano will have to be enough. the prevailing thought/feeling of the day: sometimes i just really wanna believe in the good in people and believe that i can trust (some of) them. i long for that feeling of safety in a broader irl community that i actually belong in. i'm surprised by how often i long for it. but then my negativity is reinforced by news and people's opinions on it.
6. violin sonata no. 1 in g minor, bwv 1001 (j.s. bach): stuff was done. i felt calm/chill throughout the day, but even tho i feel good whenever that happens, it usually means i don't get an extraordinary amount of things done that day (lol since when do i ever). i'm not sure if it's enough, as there is still lots to do and i'm pretty sure that it's just wishful thinking that i'll achieve all my goals for this week by its end. i need to cut down my goals list to the realistic rather than idealistic version as always (school, lab, and basic self-maintenance tasks) 😅 gaawwwdd i hope i can do this...good night.
7. waltz in a minor, b. 150 (chopin): today and yesterday i have been able to keep my phone time under an hour. the days are blissful (if not at least calmer) and focused. 📚
8. only mine (laufey): cuddles in bed while listening to laufey is so soothing 🧸 takes me back to my childhood listening to lullabies in the dark 🥺 motivation to study is hard to find today. i just want to relax 🥺 i'll just do one tiny thing and see where i wanna go from there...
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yors-truly · 1 year
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Hello! This is your friendly inquiry to answer this ask with whatever you'd like to talk about right now! Whether that be a story you're working on, something you're excited or worried about, or just something random you happen to know.
All the love,
~ toribookworm ❤️
Ah, I guess I've been more on the lower side these past few days, so I'll spill the beans.
I've been slightly if not highly insecure about the progress of Beyond Time and Space recently. Things haven't really been stable since my family's been in the process of moving and, in the midst of that, losing Nygaard (my phone holding all of my important notes).
The things I want to use are all packed away in a storage miles from here, which includes my sketchbook, my stylus, and many more (which, as an artist who often gets art block, it's very frustrating when the inspiration hits and you can do literally nothing about it).
Then there's the insecurity surrounding my age. I'm a teenager. With my birthday coming on the 20th, that status won't change. Maybe it's just the mindset of "kids wishing they were grow ups" or whatever, but as of very recently, it's been getting to me. I've been motivated and inspired by other indie projects like mine, who have all of these incredible people behind them, helping make a vision into a visual. I would love to do that! I'm already doing that!
The thing is, though, is that I lack connections. I'm pretty much going solo in this. As someone as young as myself (who also has diagnosed SAD and possibly ADHD, little to no experience in such a collaborative environment, zero experience in running a project, and lacking the money and tools actually needed), I'm worried no one will be willing to work with me to bring my thoughts to an audience, let alone allow me to help bring theirs to one. I've been trying to start out small, posting what I enjoy and hoping to make friends along the way, as it would be a dream to work alongside friends more than anything, but it's been doing my mental health more harm than good, in the way that me having SAD cranks my anxiety with in-person interactions to 200% with online interactions. For the longest time, I forgot social media existed (still do sometimes, and I think that's also an anxiety response: repression or something like that? involuntarily forgetting the things that make you anxious), so my activity hasn't been the best anywhere anyway, to begin with.
I guess all of this sums up to me saying "I wish I could do things on my own" in a slightly desperate way. If I had the money - heck, if I had a way of transferring money, because people have been questioning about commissions too (at least they used to; idk where my audience is now, since I've been so inactive) - that would be so useful! I want to be able to receive funds for my own hard work, and give funds to others for theirs! It's all so frustrating X[
(on an unrelated note: now that I've moved, I'll probably end up having to celebrate my birthday with my family instead of the people I love most.)
So, yeah, that's pretty much it. Beyond Time and Space is nowhere near finished, and I guess, in a way, I'm kinda glad I don't have extra hands at the moment. I'd like to have the entire first season written before making any progress on visuals (besides... you know... the ones I already have). It's just gonna take a little longer than I wished, and with everything moving so quickly, it's kind of overwhelming me a little qwq A beta reader or two (besides my brother who kind of just lazily reads through it most times) would be nice, though, but I take forever to write scripts so maybe not XD
Thanks for the opportunity to rant on! I really needed to get this out, I think, and this ask couldn't have been timed any better :star-emoji:
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burnt-toast-life · 3 years
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I’m so sorry for not making the voting poll in YTTT btw I’m so distracted today
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ohshutupjimin · 2 years
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Mouth at work ~ Jungkook
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EXPLICIT CONTENT ~ MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO READ
After a terribly exhausting work day, you're finally about to log off from your computer and head out. A feeling of excitement taking over, you smile to yourself as you're looking forward to the fancy Italian dinner Jungkook's planned for the two of you tonight.
An unexpected knock on your office door quickly shakes you out of your happy thoughts though.
"Come on in!"
The door swings open and your colleague Keya walks in, a look of pain very evident on her face as she frowns at you. Your brows furrow while you questioningly look at her, not sure what she's about to tell you, but you're undoubtedly getting a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach.
"Our manager just sent back these revised docs and he said we have to finalize this proposal today itself before we go home. I'm so sorry y/n! I know it's your anniversary with your boyfriend."
Your heart immediately sinks from how upset you're feeling now, but you have no other option than to suck it up and deal with this.
"It's not your fault!" you smile at Keya. "Here, give me the docs. I'll call you when I'm done so you can check it and send out the report."
After Keya apologetically hands you the folder and closes the door shut behind her, you let out a deep sigh as you flop back down in your chair. You decide to call Jungkook right away and update him on the situation.
"Hey Koo" you start off soft, mumbling out of the guilt you're feeling. "I'm really sorry but it looks like we'll have to cancel our plans for tonight. My boss just dumped work on me so I won't be able to make it to the restaurant in time for our reservation."
"Ah... ok" he replies. You can tell he's disappointed from his tone but he's trying his best to sound cheerful as he motivates you. "Please don't worry, I understand. Make sure you stay focused on your work instead of worrying about this, ok?"
"Hm thanks for that, really. What would I do without you?" you smile, heart warming up at his reassuring words.
"You certainly wouldn't be able to moan the way you do when I fuck you good" he casually chuckles, and now you can pretty much imagine him smirking on the other end of the line.
"Jeon Jungkook!" you exclaim, fully blushing, as you're completely caught off guard by his blunt statement.
Your boyfriend can be the sweetest guy one min and then turn into a tempting devil the next. It's almost overwhelming to be with him sometimes as the constant butterflies in your stomach never cease to exist. He's too dangerous for your heart but you know you can never get enough of him.
Dirty thoughts about Jungkook float in your mind even after you've said your goodbyes and ended the call, but you force yourself to shake them out as you need to complete your work.
About an hour later, you let out a yawn while rubbing your eyes in an attempt to stay alert. You're certainly starting to get tired and losing your focus, but your ears perk up as you hear a knock on your door again. Thinking it's Keya coming back with a question, you say "Come in!" while straightening up your slouching body in the chair.
Your eyes grow wide with shock and your lips instantly shoot up in a grin as your eyes fall on Jungkook, whose pushing open the door with his back as both his hands are occupied by the two cups he's holding.
"Thought I'd surprise you with your favorite strawberry acai refresher for a boost of energy" Jungkook smiles at you, his doe eyes twinkling with love as he places both cups down on your desk before coming over to you.
"Aww I'm so happy to see you" you can't help but gush, now standing up and instantly wrapping your arms around his torso.
Jungkook looks perfect as always as he looks down at you and flashes his cute bunny smile, those pretty wrinkles forming around the corners of his eyes. He smells like crisp fresh laundry while he's comfy in a matching dark gray sweat set, his black hair wavy and slightly messy as it's getting quite long.
"Happy anniversary babe" he smiles into the kiss while cupping your cheeks with the palms of his hands, making a loud mwah sound as he smooches your lips.
"Happy anniversary, Kook. I'm sorry it couldn't be perfect" you say in a low voice, still feeling bad about how your special night had turned out to be, all because of you.
"Hey shhh!" he adorably groans while placing a finger on your lips to hush you up. "Now stop it. It's perfect as long as we're together. Cool if I chill out here while you finish your work?"
Jungkook gets settled on the couch in your office, turning on his iPad and browsing through his usual favorite videos to watch, most of them being boxing or workout routines and cooking recipes. He never fails to amuse you. It's like he can do it all.
You keep getting distracted from your task as your eyes drift towards Jungkook,his irresistible sight captivating you against your own will. He's lazily laying there on the couch and all you want to do is run over to him and cuddle up next to him. He catches you staring as he looks over his screen at the same time, a smirk immediately forming on his face as he raises a brow.
"Whatcha lookin' at?"
"Oh you know, just my sexy boyfriend."
"Well why don't you take a break and spend some time with him?"
The enticing look he's giving you now makes your heart skip a beat. He's already thrown his iPad to the side and gotten up, walking over to you as you sit there refusing to break your eye contact with him.
"No stay seated" he orders you when you try to stand up and get closer to him.
"Kook- my God! What're you doing?!" you gasp as you see him slowly get down on his knees in front of you, his eyes hungrily fixed on your skirt that looks even shorter than it is as it's scrunched up from the way you've been sitting for hours.
"Having dessert before dinner" he smiles, quickly glancing up at you while his hands start pushing your skirt up to reveal your black lace panties underneath. "Now just relax."
He doesn't even give you a chance to speak, his fingers now hooking onto your panties before he slides them off. His wet mouth is already pressed against your lower lips, his tongue licking a strip over your folds as he gets a taste of you.
"Mmm" he hums against your sensitive skin "I could never have enough of you."
You're whimpering from the pleasure, his mouth fully at work as he circles his tongue over your clit, then kissing it after. He keeps eating you out, making your legs shake from how good he's making you feel. He crawls a bit closer, now holding your legs down with his hands to stop you from squirming around.
Just then, your office door swings open and Keya walks in without warning, already starting to talk with you.
"Hey y/n... what do you think about this section? uh... are you ok?"
You're lucky Jungkook is covered behind your desk and Keya can't see what the fuck you're both up to in the office. Your face is no doubt strained as you're trying to hide the fact that Jungkook's tongue is playing around with your clit while your clueless colleague is directly staring you in the face.
"Yup I'm just... great. Can I call you in later? Got to deal with.... something. Ah... uh first" you struggle to speak, Jungkook no doubt enjoying this moment as he picks up the pace of his tongue to make you shudder even more. He's literally the devil.
Keya suspiciously nods at you before she leaves the room, you finally being able to let out a big breath as your chest rapidly heaves from the fast approaching orgasm that Jungkook's mouth is giving you. A simple "fuck" escapes you as your body tenses up and you cum onto his mouth, him happily licking you clean before his head peeks back out from under your skirt.
"Feeling relaxed?" he smirks, getting up on his feet and leaning into your face, making you taste yourself as he kisses you.
"We almost got caught!" you laugh at the way he's unafraid.
"What's life without a little bit of thrill?"
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beneathstarryskies · 3 years
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I checked your masterlist and there isn't an Itachi NSFW Alphabet 😗👉👈 Can you make one pretty please? 💕🙏🏽
Itachi Uchiha x NSFW Alphabet
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Itachi is the king of aftercare. He will do absolutely anything you need from him. Do you need water or a snack? Done. His favorite thing is to run you a bath and gently help you clean up. He loves washing your hair. It’s very intimate but also he just wants to take care of you. Itachi would do anything for you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Itachi is really proud of his hair. So much in his life he’s felt out of control, and it might sound dumb but his hair is the one thing he can have complete control over. It’s long and silky and the fact that you love running your fingers through it makes him even more proud.
His favorite part of his partner’s body is going to be your hands. Hands are the source of so many forms of affection, and the fact that you use them to show him affection makes him so weak.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s a Uchiha, so obviously he’s got that breeding kink. His favorite place to cum is going to be inside of you. Itachi tends to cum a lot, so you’re going to be pumped full of his cum.
He’s not gonna turn down cumming in your mouth either though, especially if you give him a super messy blow job. He loves when you pull away and there’s cum on your mouth. It makes him weak.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Itachi is kind of prone to keeping tabs on you when you’re separated. Not in a possessive way, but just wanting to make sure you’re safe. However, he’s often thought of using this as a way to surprise you by sneaking into your window and wake you up by burying his face between your thighs.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Itachi isn’t very experienced, but he eagerly takes instruction. He’s also very intuitive. Itachi will pay a lot of attention to your reactions to things he does, and figure out how to work your body to get the best reaction.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Itachi will typically enjoy very intimate positions, but he’s also versatile. Any variation of missionary or you riding him is his favorite. From time to time if he’s feeling stressed and needs relief he enjoys pounding into you from behind while tugging on your hair.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Itachi tends to be pretty serious in general, and this extends to the bedroom. However, sometimes he tries to say something sexy which comes out awkward. He won't’ get offended if you laugh, in fact seeing your laugh only gets him going more.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He doesn’t have a lot of body hair in general. His pubic hair is dark and soft. It’s not very thick, but Itachi still keeps it well groomed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Itachi is extremely intimate. He enjoys having you very close to him and pressing soft kisses everywhere his lips can reach in whatever position he has you in. He’ll whisper sweet things in your ear and praise you for how good you take his cock.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Itachi jacks off pretty often. He enjoys taking his time with himself though, so he usually does it when he’s got a lot of spare time. He’ll stroke himself slowly, maybe even using a fleshlight, while using your image to get himself off.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Breeding kink, obviously. Nothing is sexier to him than pumping you full of cum, especially if you’re begging him for it. Bondage and blindfolds is something he’d play around with. Lingerie and praise kink. Voyeurism would be a big thing with Itachi, especially watching you masturbating. If you whisper his name while touching yourself he will absolutely lose it.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His own bed is his favorite place because he can take his time with you, and it’s the safest place to experiment. However, if the need arises while you’re away from home he won’t hesitate to fuck you anywhere he can.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Itachi honestly can get turned on just by looking at you at times, especially if you’re smiling or laughing. He just gets so overwhelmed by having someone who loves him so much and who he can make happy, he has to take you immediately. If you rub his thigh during a meeting or at dinner, he’ll be so eager to take you somewhere more private.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Nothing to hurt you. Absolutely not.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Itachi loves giving oral so much. The taste of your pussy is so intoxicating to him. He’s very dedicated to getting you off as many times as possible, and this can often lead to him overstimulating you.
Sinking down to suck his cock is the easiest way to get Itachi totally weak. As your lips around the head of his cock, he will absolutely be at your mercy. Itachi will cum very quickly. The mix of your affection, the sounds, and just the adoration he feels for you is overwhelming.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Itachi likes to take him time with you. But occasionally he just needs a good release, and he’ll pound into you while holding you down.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
They’re not his favorite thing, but sometimes he finds it necessary. If he doesn’t have time to fuck you properly, but he just needs to be inside of you he’ll settle for a quickie.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Itachi really enjoys experimenting, but he absolutely will not do anything to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Sex is for pleasure, and he doesn’t want to do anything to take that from you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Itachi can last a very long time, having tremendous self control. He does have a long refractory period, and sometimes he might not even be able to go more than one round if you guys had gone at it for a long time.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He is curious about toys, but the idea of actually physically going to buy them makes Itachi want to die. So, anything you’re wanting to try you’ll have to bring.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Itachi tries to tease you a bit because he likes to hear you begging for him to fuck you, but he can’t keep it up long. It’s just too difficult to deny you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Itachi is not very loud. He’ll whisper sweet/naughty things to you quite often, but usually gets so lost in the pleasure he can’t do much besides gasp or moan.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Itachi actually is very curious about watching you fuck someone else. It’s almost an academic curiosity. He’d be interested in seeing how different you would be with someone else, and what pleases you that he may not do.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Itachi is long, around 9 inches. He’s slightly above average in girth, enough for you to feel a slight stretch when he slides into your entrance. His cock has a nice curve to it.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Itachi has a pretty high sex drive, especially once starting a family is introduced to the mix. However, he’s not one to let it distract him from other important things. He has a lot of self control.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Itachi doesn’t typically sleep well, but after sex he feels so relieved he will fall asleep somewhat quickly.
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thedragonnerd · 3 years
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Rayaari headcanon - travel through the emotions with tears
(inspired by this lovely anon)
Tears of sorrow and pain
Raya is so young when she loses her mother, that the concept of death is difficult for her to understand. The reality doesn't strike her until bedtime, when she slowly begins to realize that Ma will never again be there to sing her a lullaby, or hug her fear of the monsters away. Benja is unable to stop the tears for hours, as Raya screams and cries and hits her small fists on the bed. Finally, she upsets herself so much she throws up, and her crying trails off to quiet whimpers instead. For months afterwards, Benja and Raya both dread bedtime, for this is when sorrow hits the hardest for her.
Namaari is nine when her Ba dies. Death is not an unknown concept for her, unfortunately. She has already begun to see its cold grasp ensnaring Fang citizens as famine begins to sweep the lands. But nothing can prepare her for the news the young soldier delivers of her Ba's accident, nor the expression on Ma's face when they both realize he won't be coming home. She doesn't cry for the first week after his death, and people whisper about how stoic and brave she's being. In reality, she is too shocked and numb to demonstrate any further emotions, until one night she awakens to find Ma has crawled into bed next to her, hugging her close in her sleep. Hot tears fall down her cheek, and she burrows into her mother's embrace as she cries silently.
After the Druun return, after she loses her Ba, Raya finds herself scared and all alone in the world, besides faithful Tuk Tuk. During the day, she wraps herself in false bravado, learning how to be a confident young woman instead of an easy mark for people with questionable motives. She employs a 'fake it until she makes it' approach to life, and it carries her through well enough...except at night. At night, she can't help but remember both her parents, and in the darkness she softly sings her mother's lullaby to soothe herself as the tears fall.
When the magnitude of what she has done by trying to take the Dragon Gem hits Namaari, she is horrified with herself. She cries quietly at night for weeks on end, reluctant to talk to anyone about her guilt. And then one day, she wakes up and decides she has no right to cry over it – she should step up and be responsible for her own actions instead, and be the best leader she can be. For several years after that moment, she refuses to let herself cry. Then one scouting mission, she loses her first soldier to the Druun, watching him turn to stone over her shoulder as they flee. She manages to hold it together as she tells his family how brave he had been; then, she goes to the kitchen, stealing as much rice wine as she can carry. She hides with her serlots, drunkenly crying into their soft fur until she can barely breathe. After that, she allows herself to cry sometimes, but only ever when alone.
The first time Raya visits Talon, she is fourteen and half-starving. The market place is loud and confusing, but it’s also full of food and wonderful scents. Unfortunately, she has no jade pieces and the soldiers patrolling the stalls do not seem like people with whom she should risk get into trouble. She almost walks away instead of trying to buy anything, but her stomach cramps just at that moment, and she almost gasps in pain. It breaks her heart, but she slowly hands over a ring of gold in order to buy some food – the only thing she has with her that belonged to her mother. ‘You know, that vendor scammed you,’ a young boy tells her with a snort, as she walks away. ‘You should have gotten far more product for the worth of the ring.’ The food tastes like ashes in her mouth after that, and hot tears slip down her cheeks as she tries to choke down the rest of her dinner.
Namaari’s scouting party is ambushed, not by the Druun, but by angry citizens from Spine. She loses good people that day, watching in horror as they are overwhelmed by Spine’s army, still acting as good soldiers trying to protect their Princess until the end. The last warrior screams at her to run, and even though it is against her instincts, she turns and flees into the forest, not even stopping when a sharp pain pierces her side - an arrow hitting its mark. She collapses some distance later, crying in pain and fear. For the first time, she fears she will die alone, bleeding out amongst the trees. Then she remembers her mother, remembers her duties and the promises she made to herself, and staggers upright. Her serlot finds her as she slowly makes her way forwards, and when she finally manges to crawl onto her back, they take off towards Fang.
‘You’re a traitor to your people,’ someone snaps at Raya, as she tries to mediate between two disagreeing Heart citizens. ‘You try to tell us what to do, but you’re a Princess who doesn’t even know half of her own culture. Too busy cavorting with binturis from Fang and other lands to bother with your own.’ She can feel the tears coming on as the words cut deep into all the fears she has about herself – how she isn’t a good leader, how she lost so many years where she should have learnt about Heart and her role as Princess. A hand lands on her shoulder squeezing gently, yet the voice behind its owner is cutting. ‘Gentlemen, I suggest you leave now before you make me do something I regret,’ Namaari says, and when the men depart angrily, silence falls. Namaari doesn’t say anything at first, drawing Raya into an embrace instead. ‘You’re a better leader than they could hope to be,’ she whispers into Raya’s hair, kissing her head gently. Raya clings to her tightly, arms wrapped around her waist.
‘You’re not welcome here, binturi,’ comes the accusation thrown into her face, and Namaari flinches, much to her own disgust. The celebratory gathering is supposed to be for all the lands to come together, but she can understand Fang not being so warmly welcomed. She is trying though, trying to atone for her mistakes, and after a long day of talking herself into having the confidence to attend, she is now just feeling overwhelmed with their cutting remarks. She simply nods and tries to walk away while hiding her face, but Raya is already pushing past her, getting into the personal space of the other women with a snarl. ‘She’s more welcome here than you currently,’ she growls. Then she spins around, holds out an arm gallantly to Namaari with a smile, and says ‘shall we?’ with a wink. Namaari links their arms, and they walk away with their heads held high.
Tears of laughter and joy
There is something charming and fun in watching Sisu learn more about people and their odd behaviours. Namaari is still slightly in awe of dragons in general, but she finds it easier the more she spends time with Sisu and watches her do ridiculous things. Sisu often brings Tong, Boun and even Noi along to visit Raya, and Namaari loves this time especially, because Raya will go and join in on the fun, laughing at her friends’ antics until tears stream down her face. Namaari sits and watches them with a smile, until Raya runs over and grabs her by the hand, dragging her over to the group.
Raya likes to think she is excellently athletic and nimble on her feet, and to a certain extent this is true. Unfortunately, she has a rather clumsy side to her also, and she spectacularly demonstrates this in front of Namaari by mistake. She is trying to demonstrate how smooth her mounts and dismounts from Tuk Tuk’s saddle are, and even goes so far as to try and show off by standing up on his back. And yet, she slips sideways instead, arms windmilling in the air before she drops onto the floor. ‘Are you alright?’ Namaari calls, and as soon as Raya answers in the affirmative, she can hear a cackle of laughter. Namaari is laughing so hard that there are tears shining in her eyes, and Raya can’t feel too embarrassed by her tumble when it brings Namaari such joy.
At the end of a very long day of Council meetings, Raya wants nothing more than to escape the political grandstanding and disappear into the night instead of staying for dinner. She manages to grab some food from the kitchen before it is even brought out for the guests, and then steals Namaari herself as company. They sit under the stars, enjoying their picnic and complaining about the day. Namaari does a wonderful impersonation of the most annoying Councilor in the meeting, and Raya startles into loud laughter at how realistic it is. Soon they are lying next to each other, giggling loudly until they are both crying from laughter.
Namaari kisses Raya for the first time during a sparring session. They are fighting in a casual manner for once, not trying to be highly competitive as usual, but preferring to shoot as many teasing remarks towards the other as punches, enjoying the moment. Raya manages to pin Namaari down on the ground, leaning forwards slightly to highlight her triumphant and teasing expression, and instead sees Namaari staring up at her with a soft smile. Namaari brings both hands up to slide her fingers through Raya’s hair, drawing her down until their lips are touching softly. Raya feels tears welling up behind her eyes at she feels the love emanating from Namaari.
Raya proposes after two years of dating and several days of angsting over whether she has the correct words to say or the correct proposal gifts. But when it comes to the moment, she forgets everything, and just blurts out ‘I love you. Marry me?’ Namaari stares at her in shock for a moment, before stepping forward to kiss Raya. ‘Yes, yes of course,’ she says, her voice shaking from her emotions. Raya cups her cheeks in both hands, gently wiping away her tears before they kiss again.
When they marry, neither of them can get through their vows without some tears of happiness. No-one judges them for it though – most of their family and friends are crying also.
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draco-and-tom · 3 years
Note
heyyy could you do a bill Weasley smut alphabet? thank you love your work:)
A/N: Hello! I'm so glad that you like my writing and hope that you enjoy your special request. I love you all, make sure to eat and drink water <3
WARNINGS: Too many to list, if smut makes you uncomfortable don't read <3
REQUEST: YES/NO
A- After Care (how they act after)
After Sex Bill tends to pull the covers over you and wrap his arms around you, saying nothing but how much he loves you and how good you did…… how sweet.
B- Body Part (Their favorite parts of your/their body, sexual or not)
His-
Bill’s favorite part of his own body would have to be his hands. He loves them the most because of how you can react to the touch of them in many different ways, he knows you love it.
Yours (sexual)-
This man l o v e s your boobs with every fiber of his being and he makes sure you know it too. He loves to pepper them with kisses and love bites and you tend to catch him looking down your shirt quite often.
Yours (non-sexual)-
To him, your hips are quite beautiful. Sometimes you’ll wear an outfit that compliments your figure so well he can't help but repeat how gorgeous you look, He’ll even brag to others.
C- Cum (read at your own risk just….cum)
Bill has two favorite ways. One of them is to cum on you, he’ll swear up and down that it’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen. The other way he loves to cum is in your mouth. He likes to watch you try to swallow it, sometimes dripping from your mouth…… let's just say that makes him want more. When it comes to your cum Bill lives for it. After you fuck he tends to lick you clean until you're pushing his head away from sensitiveness, and sometimes he refuses.
D- Do’s and Dont’s (What they like and hate during)
Do’s- Bill loves when you whimper out of nowhere. Like that one time that you sat on his lap and accidentally made that noise? Yeah… that.
Dont’s- Don'ts talk about you ex during…. He doesn't know how to respond and immediately gets turned off.
E- Experience (have they done this before)
When you and Bill started dating he was experienced in some areas. He had received plenty of rushed hand jobs, and given girls help at times, but nothing as far as actual sex which made him a little nervous when you both got sexual together. After he understood that he was doing well he ended up being cocky. That little shit.
F- Favorite Positions(s) (where they like it ;))
Bill l o v e s the bicycle position. It drives him insane when he gets to watch you tighten around him.
G- Goofy (do they joke around during sex)
Bill tends to be very loving during, but sometimes he’ll joke around about how needy you are for him.
H- Hair (are they groomed)
Bill actually tends to have his pubes very well-groomed. For some reason, that's one of his favorite things to do for self-care.
I- Intimacy (are they romantic during)
Bill is most definitely more on the romantic side. He’s always whispering how beautiful you are, how you're the one he wants forever, sappy stuff like that. He likes to kiss you everywhere he can because he feels as though his words aren't good enough at describing how much he loves you. Bill does have his rough days though. Sometimes he’ll have a bad day and taking it out on you through sex, not that either of you mind, he makes sure he’s always careful.
J- Jerking off (masturbation)
Bill loves when you tease him through masturbating. When you two are alone it drives him insane to hear his name fall off of your lips, making you whine without touching you at all.
K- Kink(s) (what are they into)
Bill is big on praise and degradation, there is never a middle ground. Bill is obsessed with the marks you make on his back. He loves the feeling of your nails scraping down his back and when he sees them for the next few days he can't help but tease you about it.
L- Location (where do they have the most fun)
Bill and you always have sex in private. He wants to make sure that he’s the only one to see and hear you in such a state. The closest to public sex you and Bill have ever had was one night at the burrow in his childhood room. M- Motivation (turn-ons)
Again, Masturbation. Hearing his name falling from your lips like that is one of the hottest things he’s ever seen. Another thing that tends to get Bill horny is when you talk about things you are passionate about. He knows it sounds weird, but he loves how independent and strong you are.
N- No (something they would never do)
Public sex. Bill is up for minorly public sex, like fucking on a couch while your friends are outside, but never anything extremely public.
O- Oral (giving/receiving)
If Bill was to tell you the truth he likes eating you out more than your blowjobs, and he loves those too. Bill tends to get overwhelmed with the taste of your arousal and the rock of your hips and begins to moan against you.
This man swears that you have the best mouth he’s ever seen and felt. He always tries to look at you during, but that's quickly thrown out the window, him losing eye contact to throw his head back.
P- Pace (how fast do they go?)
Bill is very much a teaser so he tends to start slow. You always end up winning anyway, by the end he’s going pretty fast.
Q- Quickies (their opinion on quick sex)
Bill doesn’t like quickies. The only exception is either when he has a bad day or if you want it quick and rough one day. He just wants to make sure you feel loved.
R- Risk (What will they try)
He is down to try anything you ask him but tends to get nervous when he asks you about trying something new. You have to remind him that he shouldn't be embarrassed about wanting to add something new.
S- Stamina (# of rounds)
Bill can go around 5 rounds if he really wants, but most of the time you both just want to cuddle after one or two rounds.
T-Toys (do they own any)
Bill has vibrators in his nightstand drawer, ready to use if he wants to tease you.
U- Unfair (do they like teasing/being teased)
Bill loves teasing you and being teased. He’s in love with your teasing and can't get enough of the noises you make when the roles are reversed.
V- Volume (How loud they are)
The ginger tends to raise his voice slightly, but not a lot. His voice may not get very loud but you can tell how he feels by the pitch, his voice gets deep.
W- Wild Card (random headcanon)
You and Bill started dating during your 5th year at Hogwarts and had your official first time with each other. He made sure that everything was perfect. He lit candles made you a bubble bath for afterward, the whole nine yards. You knew then that you were never letting him go.
X- X-ray (size)
Bill is pretty big, but not too big. He’s pretty long and makes sure that you know it.
Y- Yearning (how often do they want you)
He gets needy at least once a month but is pretty much always down for a round if you need it.
Z- ZzZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
After sex, you both fall asleep really quickly, the comfort of being in the other's arms finally getting to you.
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too-gay-for-marvel · 3 years
Text
one of us
a/n: I LIVE! listen. listen. yall know me well enough at this point to know that i make no promises about posting more stuff. i might post something in a few months. maybe next week. lets spin the wheel of fate and see what happens, shall we?
Request:  hi!! do you think you could write a prequel of sorts to i don’t need a hero? it’s one of my absolute favorites and i was wondering if you could write something angsty for the mission where the reader gets shot protecting wanda? <33 thank you!!
Word Count: 2546
Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence
Pairing: Wanda x Reader
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She hated you.
Wanda Maximoff absolutely, unquestionably, without a doubt hated you. There was not a single thing about you that she didn’t hate, from the stupid cocky look on your face to the way you refused to be of any help. You were supposed to be an ally now, not a nuisance.
And yet there you were.
Sitting across from her at the table and shooting her a look that made her want nothing more than to throw some magic right at your face. If she was lucky then maybe it would even knock you on your ass and she could wipe that stupid smirk from your face. It would almost make this meeting with you worth all the hassle.
“Does everyone understand their jobs?” Maria asked, bringing Wanda back to the table and forcing her to pay attention.
“Blow shit up and have fun doing it?” You asked even though that most certainly wasn’t your job and you knew it.
Don’t let them out of your sight. Maria’s voice rang in Wanda’s mind and, after a silent look, she gave a nod of affirmation. It didn’t seem as if you had noticed, and that gave Wanda a feeling of superiority. Technically it wasn’t a competition, and she already knew she was better than you, but to know that she could scheme about you in front of your face was something that gave her more joy than she would ever openly admit.
The meeting concluded without a hitch. You had even admitted - rather begrudgingly - that you were to do nothing other than keep the attention off of Wanda and Sam. In Wanda’s mind, that was a good start; you usually argued until you were blue in the face.
But with you agreeing, all Wanda had to really worry about was the upcoming mission. And whether you would keep to your word or not.
----------
By all accounts, and much to Wanda’s and Sam’s surprise, the mission had been going well. You had launched fireworks on one end of the building to cause a commotion while they had snuck in through the back. She had used her powers to distract the few guards left inside, and within minutes they had found what they were looking for.
In fact, the mission had been going so well that Wanda had been on the verge of asking if you were okay. There was no way you could have behaved for as long as you had, not without a proper motivation. But right as Wanda had lifted her hand to start her comms, an unusually loud explosion sounded off, quickly followed by guards running and yelling.
Heading in their direction.
“I knew it was too good to be true,” Wanda mumbled to herself.
Only seconds after Wanda had muttered her lack of surprise at the situation, the same guards she had heard appeared in the hallway behind them. Directly between them and their exit.
Of course, she heard Sam think. Very loudly.
It turned, very quickly, into an all-out brawl. Unlike you, they didn’t exactly aim to kill; if it was avoidable then they would. But that didn’t mean there weren’t still plenty of bodies lying on the ground, continuously making it harder and harder for them to leave.
“To the roof,” Sam ordered during a short lull in the fighting. “We can get an emergency evac from there.”
And before Wanda knew it, they were once again fighting and trying to make their way up the stairs. It wasn’t the most difficult thing in the world, not with her powers and Red Wing. But that didn’t mean it was easy either.
“Leaving already?” You asked over the comms, causing both Wanda and Sam to roll their eyes at the lack of seriousness in your tone.
“Just get to the roof,” Sam replied shortly, refusing to say anymore on the matter.
“When I’m ready.”
Wanda swore if she hadn’t promised Bucky not to kill you, she would have done it then and there.
It didn’t take long after that for Wanda and Sam to make it to the roof. He told her he was going to fly around and scope a potential landing, and Wanda agreed to hold down the fort until he came back. They both ignored the fact that you were nowhere to be found.
In typical Avengers fashion, the guards came back not long after Sam had left her alone. She wished she could have been surprised, but when it happens nearly every time, it loses it’s shock factor.
But this one was worse than usual; Wanda was, unfortunately, feeling overwhelmed. She knew the horde would run out of bodies eventually, but would that happen before or after Sam showed up? She had no clue, and that was something that terrified her.
Needless to say, she got her answer when an entire army made it up to the roof.
“That’s my cue,” your voice came over the comms, a little too cheery for the situation, but Wanda wasn’t going to answer. At that moment, she hoped you burned along with the rest of them.
An explosion rocked the building underneath her feet, sending more panic racing through her veins. Fucking idiot, she thought, you’re going to destroy the building with us still in it! More explosions followed suit.
“You’d better hurry, Sam, Y/N is gonna blow the building,” Wanda spoke clearly, but rushed. As terrified as she was, she knew it would do no good if Sam didn’t even understand her.
“Just a bit longer, I’m almost there.” She didn’t like that Sam sounded more panicked than her.
“Need a hand?” Your voice came through again, but it was drowned out by a roar that grew increasingly louder.
It was a missile. A missile that was going to hit the roof. The roof that she was standing on.
“Just move!”
Wanda was too transfixed by the missile heading her way to notice someone running toward her. Someone who quickly wrapped their arms around her waist. Her body tensed as her feet were lifted off the ground and she was suddenly launched off the side of the building right as the missile hit the spot where she had previously been standing.
Wind rushed past her ears, along with something that sounded like a scream. She couldn’t tell who it was coming from. The trip to the ground took only a moment, but felt like it was never going to end. Well, not until she forcefully met the ground, that is. The air was knocked out of her lungs and the person on top of her didn’t help.
“Get off me,” she grunted as she pushed the person off and sat up. Only when she was up did she notice it was you, new scratches on your face and blood dripping down your ears.
“You stupid Avengers, always in the way,” you mumbled just loud enough for Wanda to hear. Or maybe it was just muffled because of the deafening ringing in her ears.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Wanda shouted, pushing herself onto her feet and watching as you did the same.
“What do you mean, what was I thinking?” You shot back. “You were the one who didn’t move!”
“I didn’t need your help.”
“You almost got hit! By a missile!”
“And yet you were the one who launched it!” Wanda stepped forward, her finger jabbing into your chest as she talked.
“I saved your life!” You shouted back, throwing your hands up in indignation.
“You pushed me off a building!”
“Don’t criticise me! No one else was helping!”
“I didn’t need help from some wannabe hero!”
“I’m not trying to-” you were cut off by the sound of a gun, and your eyes widening. You both looked down to see a dark red spot near your hip, growing larger by the second.
You hit the ground before she could catch you.
Wanda looked past you to see one lone guard, his shirt still on fire and his skin singed beyond recognition. His arm was still up, gun pointed where you had previously been standing. She didn’t have to bother with finishing him; he collapsed, his body slowly burning.
She crouched down immediately, her hand moving to the spot on your hip. Her hands went to press on it; something she had learned from Maria and Natasha, something she hadn’t thought she would ever really need to know.
You groaned ever so slightly when she pressed harder, but aside from that you were silent and still.
“Coming in hot,” Sam said. She didn’t bother looking up, but felt the wind from Sam and the evac landing behind her.
Sam was quick in assessing the damage. He picked you up and carried you to the quinjet, getting you stabilised for the trip back. Wanda thanked the gods that it would be a short trip.
She hoped you would be okay.
----------
Technically, it wasn’t the worst injury someone had come back from a mission with. Tony always came back with multiple contusions, sometimes broken bones if he had been careless. Natasha and Clint were always a mess, having been absorbed in trying to keep the other safe. Hell, you had come back with worse injuries.
So why this one had taken so much out of you, Wanda had no idea. All she knew was that it had been four days and you were still unconscious. Even the doctors couldn’t understand why you hadn’t woken up. Sure, trauma could keep someone in a coma, but you had seen much worse. So why this one?
“Time for food.”
Bless that man.
Wanda looked up from her book to see Clint leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. A signature look for him, she realised. But she noticed, strangely enough, that he did not come with food. Extremely rude.
“Making me scavenge for myself now?” Wanda teased as she closed her book.
“You could say that,” Clint shrugged. “You gotta get out of here for a few hours, Wanda.”
So that was his purpose.
“Not yet,” she answered simply.
“They haven’t woken up yet, won’t wake up while you’re gone.”
“You don’t know that-”
“-Wanda,” Clint interrupted, “they’re not waking up. Get some food, take a shower, maybe a nap. It’ll be fine.”
She looked over to you and just stared. Your face hadn’t really changed since they had gotten you back to SHIELD. No sounds, no movement, nothing. Maybe there was a new crinkle between your brows, but nothing to really indicate you were going to wake up. No matter how much she wanted you to.
Damn you for making her worry about you of all people.
And damn Clint for being right.
“Two hours.”
“Make it five,” Clint shot back, a smile tugging at his lips.
“Three.”
“Four.”
Damn him.
“Fine. Four. But not a minute more,” Wanda sighed. But, and she hated to admit this, Clint was right; she needed some time to recover. She hadn’t even left herself recover from the mission, instead coming straight to the medical ward with you.
Clint nodded once and waited for her to leave before heading into your room. Sweet of him to take her place while she was resting. It would at least give her some respite to know that someone was watching you while she was gone. Now she just needed to take care of herself and get back.
Well. Maybe after a bath.
----------
“Wanda wake up!”
Not the best way for anyone to wake up from a nap.
Wanda shot up out of bed and tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes. She was sure she looked like an absolute mess, and she could feel the knots in her hair. Oh god she felt terrible. Two hours was not enough time for a recovery nap. They better have a good reason for waking her up.
“Good, you’re up,” Clint huffed from the doorway. “Y/N’s gone.”
Okay. Pretty good reason.
She didn’t bother brushing her hair; didn’t even bother changing into clean clothes. It was fine though, she had slept in her mission clothes anyway. What was one more day, right? Besides, it gave her a bit of comfort that she at least wouldn’t be running through the hallways half-naked.
It was, for lack of a better word, pandemonium in the halls. The assumption was that everyone was looking for you; and that assumption was correct. If you hadn’t been such a damn nuisance to SHIELD in the past, maybe they would’ve just let you go.
So really, this was all your fault.
But that didn’t stop Wanda from making her way to where she felt she knew you had gone. There was no proof, but it was a feeling. A feeling that was similar to when she had known whenever Pietro had gotten into trouble. Not quite as strong, because nothing could beat twintuition, but it was still there.
And it was right.
Wanda didn’t know what to really expect you to look like after a few days of rest. But you looked a mess sitting in the dark cell. You were still in your hospital gown, and the gauze was still wrapped around whatever wounds you had sustained. The worst part? You sat curled up in the corner.
“Y/N?” Wanda stepped closer to the cell, but was met with a beeping sound that she was terrifyingly familiar with.
A proximity bomb.
She jumped back and waited for the explosion that never came. Instead, the beeping stopped, and you continued to sit in the corner. Her eyes searched for the bomb, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to find it. If you had hidden it, then you would be the only one who could get to it.
“Everyone is looking for you,” Wanda whispered, just loud enough for you to hear.
“Leave me alone.” Your voice was hoarse, and you let out a series of painful-sounding coughs.
“They’re worried about you.”
“They can worry about themselves,” you shot back, “I’m fine.”
“Y/N,” Wanda urged. She didn’t like seeing you like this. She hadn’t cared for you much, hadn’t even liked you, but this… this wasn’t you. “What happened?”
And then you turned. She could see the bruises on your face, the bags under your eyes, a look on your face that she couldn’t quite place. But your eyes… your eyes pierced through her soul in a way she hadn’t thought possible.
“You fucking heroes happened,” you replied, your eyes never leaving hers. “Couldn’t fucking leave well enough alone, had to bring me into all this fucking mess.”
“Y/N-”
“You wanted me in this fucking cell, now I’m here.” Wanda could tell you were running out of breath. “So leave me the fuck alone.”
With that you turned and stared back at the wall, your back to her. She couldn’t go to you, couldn’t help you. That bomb of yours would blow the both of you up if she got closer. And she just knew you were finished talking to her. You had made your decision, and she would just have to accept it. It seemed the team was right.
You would never be one of them.
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outoftheframework · 4 years
Text
characterization cheat sheet: the batfamily boys
Hey everyone! I had the idea to compile a comprehensive list of different traits and attributes for each member of the batfamily based off of both canon and fanon interpretations. I think this could be useful for new members to the fandom, or those looking to write and/or draw for these characters. Remember that these will have a slight bias considering I, a fanon creator, am creating the lists. But I’ll try to make them as accurate as possible.
Appearances vary from artist to artist, so I’ll try to stray away from general details and add more little things you can consider in your art.
Bruce Wayne:
Age: 35-45
Appearance: Extremely physically fit, but signs of aging and prolonged exertion can slip through. Has a collection of scattered scars varying from fresh to fully healed. Strong, dark features. Conventionally attractive, but can easily switch to be foreboding/intimidating. Well kept in public appearances, but can look like death incarnate when in private.
Personality: Dual personas: “Bruce” (at home, but not as batman) and “Brucie” (public appearances like galas, news interviews). Bruce is stoic, well-read and educated, well-mannered, and occasionally can be witty and laid-back. Smirks rather than smiles. Brucie is loud, spontaneous, charming, and sometimes oblivious. He is the womanizer and scandal-maker. Often the actions of Brucie are motivated by Batman’s interests.
Speech: Bruce was mainly raised by as English butler, so his speech patterns are proper and smooth. Rarely uses speech fillers such as “uh” and “um,” except when interrupted while concentrating. Despite living in Gotham his entire life, he has not picked up the accent. His voice is newscaster American, almost impossible to pinpoint to a certain region. His speech as Brucie changes to relate more to the audience he is addressing. Speeches to Gotham high society will sound different than those aimed to the general public.
Additional Attributes: Bruce Wayne in all of his personalities is fiercely protective, and can easily slip into a deeper voice to intimidate. Bruce can be extremely empathetic and slightly impulsive when it comes to children who have lost their parents. As learned through his training to become Batman, Bruce is disciplined and can work for hours straight.
Dick Grayson:
Age: 23-29
Appearance: Dick Grayson mirrors a young Bruce Wayne despite their not being blood related. This could be a subconscious action by Dick to absorb traits of his father figure. His lean acrobatic body starts to set him apart from Bruce’s image. Dick manages to be well-built but still limber and flexible. His feet and hands are rough and calloused. His hair can get long but usually stays at a length in between Bruce’s and Tim’s. His eyes are bright blue without even a hint of green or brown. 
Personality: In one comic I believe it was Superman who said that Dick Grayson is a universal constant, meaning that on every alternate earth or timeline, you can always rely on him to be good and pure. I think this really sums up who Dick should be. He is kind to a fault, and can sometimes be naive and not think things through. He loves to love, be that in his family, in his romantic relationships, in his friendships, and even in strangers. He is a chronic hero who only wants to see the world as a better place. But it’s important to note that Dick can get angry when pushed, and holds grudges.
Speech: Dick is an extremely interesting study in speech patterns. As a child he traveled with the circus, until he lived with clear-spoken Bruce Wayne and a proper English butler. So influences to his speech and accent come both internationally and locally to Gotham and Bludhaven. As a child living at Wayne Manor, Dick picks up a slight Gotham tinge to his accent with some British flourish in his vowel sounds. He regularly speaks in slang. As Nightwing he is able to suppress his unique speech to sound more evenly American.
Additional Attributes: Dick acts differently around each of his family members as to be what they need in a big brother. For example, he is more fatherly to Damian while to Tim he is more an equal. Dick can fidget and has less of an attention span than Bruce. He can use jokes as a coping mechanism.
Jason Todd: 
Age: 22-26
Appearance: Hair is often long on top and shorter on the sides, sometimes with a white streak as a side effect from the Lazarus Pit. Tallest and heaviest of all the kids, very physically intimidating. Has a lot of scars and burns, and in some fan works he has a “Y” shaped scar the length of his chest from his autopsy. Never skips leg day. Green/blue eyes.
Personality: Jason goes through a lot of character development, but for this list I’m going off a timeline of post-Under the Red Hood, where Jason is on okay, yet still a little shaky, terms with the rest of the family. Jason has a hard time separating vigilante life and civilian life; his death as Robin ended his life as Jason Todd, blurring the lines between the two. Jason is legally dead, so he is basically building an identity back up. He holds some attributes from childhood: brave, impulsive, loud-mouthed, and street-smart. But his experiences post-Robin have made him a hardened loner. He lives modestly and with some semblance of order. He’s hard to foster a relationship with, but can be a passionate friend/family member when he opens up.
Speech: Jason probably has the least influence from Bruce and Alfred’s speech patterns, seeing as though he spent a lot more time with his biological family/on the streets than he did as a preteen in the manor. He is the definition of Gotham vernacular, with a rough edge. So much so that as a child, the high society gala attenders sometimes had a hard time understanding him. Often talks in curt, short sentences.
Additional Attributes: He has trouble expressing his emotions, more specifically anger and/or grief. Can both love or hate furiously. Inherently good, but sometimes does “bad” things. Protective over children, especially those living on the street. Very much a believer in “the ends justify the means.”
Tim Drake:
Age: 17-20
Appearance: Pale skin, dark hair. Sharp cheek bones and jawline, mostly from how skinny he is. His body isn’t technically “built” to be extremely athletic, but he’s forced a nice lean build from stringently working out. Easily loses and gains weight as a direct result of his work, causing fluctuations in his build. Five foot something, will eventually be out-grown by Damian. Long hair that can still be styled to look professional.
Personality: Tim Drake is very passionate in pretty much everything he sets his mind to. He feels as though he imposed himself onto Batman to become Robin, so he works twice as hard to prove his worth. He can be self conscious and deprecating. Tim as Robin or Red Robin is very different than civilian Tim; his hero personas can be bolder and more confident. Despite dropping out of high school, he values education.
Speech: Tim grew up rich, and his speech reflects an intelligence gained from private tutors. Despite this, he knows how to interact with those his age in using less formal language and slang. Often quotes books and movies. Can be awkward and stumble over his words when teased by his friends/family. He can manipulate people easily in business settings by talking fast and confidently while explaining complex topics.
Additional Attributes: Tim’s demeanor is directly tied to his varying levels of confidence and anxiety. Tim is has above-average intelligence and is diligent in detective work, but can still act like a teenager. He can be stubborn to extremes and will patiently play the long con. He does not cope well with loss.
Duke Thomas:
Age: 17-19
Appearance: Short dark hair, shaved on the sides and/or the back. Often wears the colors yellow and black. Around the same height as Tim, but a little taller. Stronger and heavier build more alike to Jason than Dick, but he’s still light on his feet. Expressive face that can give away his feelings easily. Still a bit of a baby face, but he’s still well-proportioned and conventionally handsome.
Personality: In my works, I’ve often described Duke as having a “sun-shiny” personality. He is one to not even think twice about putting others before himself. Duke uses his own personal experiences to guide him as a hero rather than suppress his emotions. Duke went from being an only child to having a large family, so he can sometimes feel overwhelmed. He is on friendly terms with every member of the batfamily, as well as many other heroes. Duke is self-sacrificial and is still learning how to effectively work as a detective.
Speech: Duke grew up in a middle class Gotham family, so his speech is influenced by his parents as well as his city environment. Duke has a mild Gotham accent and speaks a lot in modern slang. He hasn’t had much influence from Bruce and Alfred, considering he hasn’t lived with them for long. It’s possible that as he grows he will pick up some influences from Bruce and Tim’s way of speaking, but will most likely hold onto the accent of his childhood.
Additional Attributes: Duke is a metahuman vigilante in a city where Batman typically bans them, which causes a bit of an insecurity and a perfectionist drive. These are exasperated by the long line of history preceding him, as well as the fact that he involved himself in the Robin movement rather than being handpicked by Batman. He and Tim can relate in that way. Duke is an ardent student of Batman and is dedicated to the cause.
Damian Wayne:
Age: 10-14
Appearance: Looks similar to Bruce when he was the same age, yet stronger and with tanner skin. His hair is expertly cut and styled, but still age-appropriate. He is the shortest of the batkids, but still has a lot of time and potential to grow. He pretty much won the genetics lottery with Bruce and Talia as his biological parents, and is made for athletics. He has some scars that stand out with their pale coloring against his tan skin. 
Personality: Damian is slowly becoming less of a brat, to put it bluntly. He admires his family and tries to mimic them, but will never confess it. Damian is quick to judge and will voice his opinion no matter how scathing it may be, both as civilian and hero. Damian is slowly realizing he may not want the Batman mantle as quickly as he planned. Jon is a perfect foil to Damian, and often makes him a better person when they’re together. 
Speech: His speech is proper and formal. Prefers formal titles: ex. “father” over “dad” and last names over first. Damian is at least bilingual (Arabic and English), and can switch between languages easily. Most of his speech patterns developed from his tutors in the League, and more recently, Alfred. Influences like Jon and Dick have introduced him to a more modern, laid-back way of speaking, which he sometimes utilizes when relaxed.
Additional Attributes: Damian has problems with authority, especially those that he doesn’t respect like his teachers at school. He can be arrogant and childish ever though he often acts like he knows everything. Damian is still a child and has much to learn from batman and family as well as unlearn from his time at the League. Dami was forged to be a ruthless warrior, but now has to find a balance between the hero Robin and the child Damian Wayne.
Hope this helps someone! Feel free to add on if you think I missed anything. Just please remember to be civil and respect different interpretations of these characters. Let me know if you want another one of these posts outlining the girls or other characters.
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lord-westley · 3 years
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heyyy I saw requests are open! I need more boromir in my life, so could you write a fic (doesn't have to be long) with him? I was thinking maybe something along the lines of him coming back to Gondor, and just fluff fluff fluff
Retrouvaille
(N.) The joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation
Boromir x Reader
Angst to Fluff
Heartache is temporary- yet only cured by the very thing that causes such pain.
A/N: TUMBLR LITTLE SISTER HELLO ILY everyone could use more Boromir in their life ❤️❤️❤️ the ending got a bit rough and ended a bit abrupt but I hope you like it!
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Songbirds sing their sweet melodies to the horizon; where the sun begins to rise. It’s golden rays light up the white city and filter through the curtains of your home. A breeze slips it’s way into the bedroom, causing a shiver to run down your spine.
In an attempt to warm up, your hand reaches out to the other side of the bed. Feeling nothing but the cold sheets. You once again forgot that Boromir wasn’t home.
He was busy fighting a battle on the other side of the mountain. Helping the men of Rohan. Not to return for quite some time, that is... if he survives.
A sigh leaves your lips, clenching your eyes shut. Trying hard to think happy thoughts- trying hard to ignore the fear of losing your beloved. But as the days pass, it becomes near impossible to ignore such pain. A pain that takes ahold of your heart, filling it with dread and hopeless wishes.
You understand that it’s his duty to protect and provide aid for others. But sometimes- just sometimes you can’t help but wish he didn’t have to leave. That he could stay home and be safe. Where the only pain would be stepped on toes from late night dancing.
Another sigh slips out as you open your eyes once more. Staring at the blank space; struggling to find the motivation to get up and perform your duties.
A thought crosses your mind, that if Boromir can wake up before the sun, and fight till nightfall. You can handle a few errands. And thus, you sit up, stretching your arms high above your head with a groan as your joints pop. Before proceeding with your morning routine.
~ ♡ ~
Many hours have passed when you found yourself at the peak of Minas Tirith. The sun shines down brightly, bringing a feeling of warmth on your skin; and the smell of blooming flowers overwhelm your senses.
Today was an easy day, as you had no work. Only having to run a few errands to restock the pantry. But despite such a calm day, you’re exhausted. So watching the bustling city from high up brings a sense of peace to you.
The silence was soon broken by a voice yelling out from behind.
“Y/N!” It cries out- catching your attention.
Your heart pounds heavily in your chest as you turn around. There, just 10 feet away, Boromir stands with a grin painting his lips.
“Boromir- oh gods” Your voice hitches as your feet move on their own, running to him. Your Boromir.
Tears stream down your cheeks as he tightly wraps his arms around you; lifting you up off the ground.
“You’re back!” Your voice cracks. “you came back”
“Of course, My Love-“ Boromir’s voice is raspy, trying so hard to hold back his own tears “I promised I’d come back.”
He loosens his vice grip to pull back just slightly and press a short but sweet kiss to your lips. Mumbling a ‘I love you’ before kissing you once more.
Just those two kisses from your Love melted away all the fears you once felt. As though he never left.
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kurosarium · 4 years
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post breakup headcanons
Headcanons about some characters and how they deal with being broken up with. This is me trying to cope with my own breakup. I feel like absolute shit, but somehow I got inspired by my sadness and wrote these in like an hour, which is pretty fast for me.
Feedback is much appreciated!
featuring: Akaashi, the Miya twins, Sakusa, Kuroo, Suna and Bokuto
warnings: angst ig
❀ ❀ ❀
Miya Atsumu:
He’s going to be really dramatic about it, but it’s not like he’s doing it for no reason, you know? Atsumu definitely tries to keep his act together around his peers, but his mood is greatly affected by the breakup, so it won’t be hard for people to tell that something must have happened. He’s less of a tease and less talkative. While his demeanor doesn’t change too much when he’s in public, except for being less of a tease (and a pain in the ass), he will most likely cry his heart out in the confines of his own home and may or may not try to drown his sorrow in alcohol. He’d feel super depressed and lethargic during the first few days, or even weeks. He may not look like it, and definitely doesn’t act like it often, but once he lets someone into his life and decides to give himself to them he becomes very invested and tends to be a bit clingy, so the thought of losing the person closest and most precious to him is unimaginable to him. He loves hard, and if he really, genuinely loved his partner then he will be a total disaster after they broke up with him. Atsumu will visit his brother’s shop A LOT more often, whine about his worries and stuff his mouth with fatty tuna.
Akaashi Keiji:
He will most likely distract himself with work. Keeping himself occupied at all costs, because his mind tends to wander and he will only make himself more miserable if he starts to think about his ex-partner and their breakup. He knows that himself, so he really tries to drown out any of his thought that aren’t work related for the time being. You might not even notice that he’s suffering, because it’s not an unusual occurrence for Akaashi to work ungodly hours. What gives him away, to his close friends at least, is that he doesn’t answer any of their calls or text, and if he does, he will respond with one-word-answers only. He pretty much isolates himself for a while and rejects any invites from his friends. The thing is, that his feeling will pile up and he will eventually break, and he will end up crying alone at his work desk, without anyone to comfort him. He knows his behavior is bad for him and will only make him feel worse, but he just can’t help it. He may reject his friends approaches, but he will secretly thank them if they ignore his wishes and come over uninvited and drag him out with them. He really doesn’t want to be suffering alone, but he has a hard time expressing his feelings, he’s learning and getting better at it, though.  
Suna Rintaro:
Suna’s already someone who behaves pretty indifferent in most situations and doesn’t express his emotions openly, but after getting his heart broken he becomes even more apathetic, and his seems like absolutely nothing brings him joy, or even matters to him. It’s going to be really frustrating for all of his friends and family members. This being said, it wouldn’t be difficult to notice his extreme behavior, he just seems completely out of it, spaces out all the time and blankly stares into the distance. If you wouldn’t know he was going through immense emotional pain, it would almost seem comedic. While Suna’s face hides it perfectly, he feels utterly lost and doesn’t really know how to cope with the situation. Still, he prefers to not talk about his emotional said, neither with his closest friends, nor with his family, and instead shuts completely off and keeps to himself. You’d really have to worm everything out of him if you’d want him to tell you what’s up with him. Sooner or later he will get overwhelmed by his feelings, though, at the latest when he unexpectedly encounters his ex again.
Miya Osamu:
He just doesn’t deal with it. Similar to Akaashi he tries to keep himself busy, but he does it more successfully? Like, he actually seems to be doing okay and when he tells his friends that there’s nothing to worry about and that he’s doing fine, it sounds very convincing to most people. Except for his brother and a handful of friends, that is (like Aran, he just knows). Still, he is able to suppress his emotions and tried really hard to not let them affect him too much, and after a while it actually seems like he’s over his past lover, but oh boy is that far from the truth. It really depends on how much and how deeply he loved that person, though. While I imagine that he’s an intense love like his brother, it’s more difficult to get access to him and his emotions. Osamu’s excellent at not getting too involved and has very good control over his emotions, but if his ex was someone he genuinely loved and opened himself up to, then I can see him reacting to a breakup in a similar way as his brother.  
Kuroo Tetsurou:
I see him handling being broken up with well? Like, he sure is emotional about it, but he deals with it in a mature way and tries to understand his ex-partner’s reasoning to the best of his ability. He definitely will allow himself to be sad and even shed a tear here and there, but he also knows when enough is enough. I imagine he will give himself some sort of time frame where he allows himself to grieve and be sad, but after the time’s up (could be a few days or a few weeks) he will actively try to move on and keep his mind occupied so his thoughts won’t start to wander to a bad place. I can also see him keeping in touch with his ex, not immediately after the break up, but at some point, even if it’s just on a superficial basis. If he truly cared about them as a person, then he wouldn’t want them to be completely out of his life (I’m projecting here but that’s ok). So basically, Kuroo copes by giving himself the time to feel brokenhearted, but also in being more socially active after coming to a point where he believes he grieved enough. He will focus on the people around him and go out with his friends more and try to get his mind off of his ex-partner. All in all, I’d say his way of coping with a breakup (with him being the one who gets broken up with) in a relatively healthy way. One thing he’d definitely do, especially in the beginning, is turning up at Kenma’s place at the most random times to play games with him. Some things just don’t change.
Sakusa Kiyoomi:
Sakusa’s even better at hiding and suppressing his feelings than Osamu. Like, people that aren’t super close with him wouldn’t even have known he was in a relationship in the first place. He’s that secretive about his personal life and only trusts handpicked people with the details of his life. For everyone who does know him better, though, it’s pretty easy to tell that something’s off with him. He’s a lot moodier and meaner, sometimes even unintentionally overstepping boundaries, and the bags under his eyes grow visibly darker. Sakusa tends to drink more caffeinated drinks when he’s stressed, which keep him up at night and encourage his brain to fill itself with what ifs and other intrusive thoughts. He’s basically a tired mess, and the people around, especially those he sees every day, will notice he’s being deprived of sleep, because it’s no secret that Sakusa usually values his 8 hours of beauty sleep. So, while his behavior does change, he could tell people literally anything and they’d believe it to be the reason for his slightly odd behavior. I also don’t see him as someone who easily opens up about his feelings, so he’d probably bury that shit deep within.
Bokuto Koutarou:
It’s going to be really difficult to cheer this big Baby up. Bokuto just spends days moping around and will have absolutely no motivation to do anything, not even Volleyball. Sure, he will go to practice and participate in games, but there’s definitely a change in his aura, he’s less energetic and spaces out way more often. The coach will probably have to pull him aside more than once during practice. It will definitely take more than his teammates or a few good friends to get him to function properly again, I think what he really needs is just time. But he definitely doesn’t want to be alone, so he will reach out for his friends and try to distract himself a bit with their company. It will take Bokuto a lot of time to get over his past lover, though. He’s someone who gets very emotionally invested in things, and people no less. I also imagine him to be the kind of person that tries to contact their ex after the breakup, asking if they could talk things over again or try to find another solution, he doesn’t want to let go that easily if he’s convinced there is or could be another way.
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Chapter Four.
a/n: this was one of my fav chapters to write, so hope you all enjoy! I think you’re all gonna like this one hehe :’) pls reblog to share and leave feedback as it continues to motivate me <3
SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 10.1k
come talk to me about WTSGD! i’d love to know your thoughts!
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October 31, 2017 
A lot had happened in the last five months that felt like an eternity. 
After Luci’s very first performance for Miss Saigon and her unfortunate breakdown that was caused by one of the biggest critics of Broadway, practically insulting her, she performed almost every night after that. 
When one bad review on her performance was ratified by hundreds of tweets and reviews, saying that Luci’s performance was one of the best they’d ever seen, she’d say she did her damn job. The night of her breakdown, she received a text from Nina, who sent her a link to a few reviews on her Broadway debut. Those articles directly addressed how unprofessional and poorly written Adam West’s review was, and that he needed to open his eyes to observe and admire brilliant, wonderful, and beautifully performed talent. On top of the important names next to Adam West, theatre-Twitter seemed to agree with the positive articles that were written about her, tweeting that Luci was the next face of Broadway; and who cared if she started her career in commercials and Off-Broadway because getting the role in Miss Saigon had proved that she worked her way up and that she was good. 
After reading the articles and tweets, her mood had drastically shifted. She was so overwhelmed by the positive comments that defended her from a misogynistic man that she cried again, but it was tears of happiness this time around. She walked out of her apartment, headed to Harry’s door to show him the uplifting reviews, and he was happy to see that she was ecstatic—he was happy for her. 
They had definitely become closer since that day. 
Harry and Luci hung out a lot. Whenever they had the chance and they both weren’t busy, they would knock on each other’s doors or text one another, asking to hang out. For the most part, he opened up to her, showcasing his true personality and becoming more comfortable around Luci—enough to joke around and be himself. He loved the way he didn’t feel like he had to be someone he’s not; everything felt true and real. 
It was refreshing for Harry to have a real friend, a best friend, other than Jeff and Mitch. Although he developed a small crush on said friend, it was nice to just have a chat and walk around the neighborhood with her. He’d been talking himself up to ask her out, not knowing if she’ll say yes or if she even feels that way about him; but from what he could tell, he thinks that she’s sort of infatuated with him. Luci would flirt with him from time to time, and would tell him that he’s adorable and sweet, making Harry’s cheeks redden from the sweet talk. 
Luci’s situation with Daisy and Samuel never got better. Ever since she started to perform more and more—sometimes even more than Daisy—they would be nothing but rude to her. They weren’t used to someone taking their spotlight; it was like someone stepping right in front of them on center stage to steal the show—especially if it was someone they despised and was new to Broadway. The two tried to take it up with Tal, demanding and arguing about how they deserved to perform every single night, but Tal kept her word to Luci and the rest of the industry: that she would stand up for her cast and run the show herself. 
Throughout the months, Luci had been talking with Harry about something very, very important. It was a few weeks ago, during their walk to a bagel place in the morning, when she first brought it up. 
“Remember that lady who came up to me after the show?” She asked as they walked along the sidewalk. Harry nodded, letting out a ‘mhm.’ “So, she’s a talent agent…” Harry raised his brows, thinking she was an agent for Broadway. “In Hollywood.” Samantha Stone was one of Hollywood’s greatest and biggest agents; she mostly worked with actors who were first starting out in the industry before making them successful. Samantha was always on the hunt for new and fresh talent; she walked the streets with an eye like a hawk. 
In early September, Samantha was in New York for a small getaway, as well as to meet one of her side pieces in the city. She figured she could watch a show or two since she was already in the city, and it’d been ages since she'd seen a Broadway show. Deciding on Miss Saigon because she saw the tweets and reviews of Luciana, she decided to give it a shot and see what her hype was about. And it did not disappoint. She was so intrigued and invested in the story, and was absolutely blown away by Luciana’s performance. Naturally, even though she shouldn’t be working, she waited until the cast was coming out of the theatre to approach her. 
Luci was in complete shock because she’d never had anyone walk up to her, telling her to give her a call because she was a talent agent and hoped to work with her soon. When Luci got back home, she looked up Samantha Stone and her breath hitched as she found out who she had worked with and what she did for a living. 
“Holy shit!” Harry completely stopped walking, making Luci stop as well. They stood on the side of the sidewalk as people passed by them. Harry beamed excitedly, but soon his smile softened, noticing Luci’s didn’t match his. “What’s the matter? Why aren’t you excited?” 
“I-I don’t know. I just get nervous thinking about it, like she wants to work with me.” Luci fiddled with her fingers. 
“Isn’t that great?” Harry asked softly; he didn’t see what was wrong with that, but he was being patient with Luci to try and understand what she was feeling and thinking about.
She nodded. “It is. I’m just nervous; I hate disappointing people. What if I call her and I do an audition or whatever, and she realizes that I’m not meant for the job? She’s the biggest agent in Hollywood, Harry. That would mean I’m not meant for any job,” she explained worriedly, anxiety bubbling up in her stomach as if it’d been simmering for hours on the stove.
Harry slightly frowned. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel to doubt one’s own talents, and he absolutely hated that Luci was doing it. 
“Luciana, listen to me.” Well, that definitely caught her attention. “You’re remarkably talented, end of. If you end up being dropped by that agent, then fuck her. She shouldn’t be a talent agent if she can’t see clear talent right in front of her. Literally everyone in the same room knows you are so incredibly gifted. Plus, wouldn’t you like to try it out? It doesn’t hurt to try because you have nothing to lose. You’ll still be on Broadway; and then you’ll try again later if right now is not your time.” 
Smiling, she appreciated his words. She nodded, knowing he was completely right. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.” Her response seemed to satisfy Harry. “Thank you.” 
“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” She smiled. “Still gonna help me grade papers?” 
She chuckled as they started walking on the pavement again. “Yup. Believe it or not, it’s actually fun grading papers.” 
He turned to her shockingly. “Oh, really? Then maybe you could be my TA and I’ll have you grade all the papers.” Luci laughed, saying that she didn’t mind; she adored moments when they were playful. Their friendship was refreshing to the both of them. 
A week after her conversation with Harry, where he reassured and encouraged her, she called Samantha, who was delighted to hear from Luci. Samantha asked if she wanted to meet for lunch; Luci was hesitant, but she remembered Harry’s words, and it really didn’t hurt to try, so she agreed and they met in Midtown at a Thai restaurant. 
It was a casual luncheon where Samantha got to know Luci before she decided if she wanted to sign her or not. Luci completely rocked her socks; she was funny, kind, and very humble—traits that not a lot of stars had. So, Samantha immediately thought she was perfect and very likeable. After thirty minutes of eating and chatting, Samantha pulled out her business side, along with a contract, and discussed what this could mean for Luci. She went over her contract very quickly, and Luci knew she couldn’t keep up so she pretended to listen, nodding and letting out a ‘mhm’ to be interactive. 
Samantha had a pen ready for her to sign, but if Luci knew anything, it was to not sign contracts right then and there, and to go over the contract in further details on her own. So, Luci told her that she would look over the stack of papers once more before she got back to her potential agent. 
Luci wished she took a business class to understand such things about contracts and how to handle things herself, but she thinks that she might enroll in some classes some time soon. She attended Boston University and graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Performing Arts in Theatre Arts. On top of auditioning, solo acts, musical pieces, and countless shows for the four years she was there, she maintained a 3.5 GPA in her general education, and that’s something she’s incredibly proud of herself for. There were a few classes during her freshman year that she failed, making her consider dropping out, but she picked herself back up and promised herself to work harder, and she did. 
When she got back home, she tossed the contract on her coffee table as she sighed, grabbing a glass of water. She had felt stressed out about the situation, but then she remembered that Harry’s sister, Gemma, was a lawyer in London. So, she sent Harry a quick text, telling him about her situation, and asked if Gemma was able to help out. Harry was on his lunch when she texted, but he quickly asked Gemma and she was quick to comply, anything to help her brother’s friend.
The day after, Harry and Luci both sat down on his couch, FaceTiming Gemma on his laptop; it was the very first time his sister and Luci were meeting each other. Harry warned Luci that Gemma was a bit tough with his new friends, but once the two women chatted for a few minutes, Gemma was smittened with her; Harry was shocked at how quick they seemed to become friends, but he cherished it because he liked Luci…a lot. 
Luci had sent over a scanned version of the contract, so they went over it together with Harry sitting next to her for moral support; and from what Gemma said, the contract was clean. The most important thing that Gemma was looking for was that Luci had a say to back out of the contract, and it stated that clearly. Gemma told her that she could sign the contract if she wanted, and that eased Luci’s anxieties, making her thank Gemma almost a million times for her help. 
The next day, Luci met up with Samantha for brunch with the signed contract in her hand. Samantha was delighted to see that it was inked with her signature; she told Luci that this won’t be the only thing she was going to sign because so many people are going to want her autograph. That made Luci smile, giggling a tad bit at the thought of it. 
By the beginning of October, Samantha called Luci and informed her that she was booked for an audition for a supporting character in Ocean’s Eight that was to be released late next year. Luci was surprised at how quickly Samantha was able to get her an audition, but they didn’t call her the best for nothing. 
With only two weeks to prepare, Luci put her time and effort into rehearsing the few pages of the script Samantha had sent her. Luci didn’t have a talent coach whatsoever, so she tried her best to see every aspect of her acting, jotting down notes on the margins so she could further better herself. She was hiding her stress and nerves quite well as she tried not to freak out about how insane this opportunity was to even audition. 
When her audition was only two days away, she called Ren for the traditional pep-talk that inspired and motivated her to do better and to try her best because that was all that she could do. She wished that her family was physically next to her so she could feel the comfort and warmth that they provide because after all, they are home and always will be. 
Luckily, some producers were in New York holding auditions, so she didn’t have to fly to California for a day or two. She’d never felt more intimidated and nervous than the moment she stepped inside the medium-sized room that was painted in a light gray tone. A long foldable table was in the middle of the room with a small camcorder on a tripod next to it. Luci’s had many auditions, but this…this was real shit, the real deal. She was standing in front of Hollywood and big name producers who’d never heard of her name until the moment she walked in and they had a glimpse of her portfolio. 
She introduced herself, masking the nerves that were crawling up and down her body with a warm smile—not too bright, but enough to show her gorgeous grin. They asked her to read off of page twenty-three to twenty-five; taking a breath, she gave all that she could. And in her opinion, it’s the best acting she’d ever done, which is saying a lot because she thinks she did quite well after every show of Miss Saigon. 
The producers’ faces were unreadable as they simply looked at one another, writing a few notes on their yellow notepads. Luci wanted to lurk, to see what they were writing as she hoped they weren’t disappointed or had immediately crossed out her name from their list. 
They thanked her for coming in before dismissing her; she thanked them as well, waving as she walked out the door where she released the biggest sigh. It wasn’t from relief because she was still on edge of the result of her audition, but she felt like she had been holding her breath for the ten to fifteen minutes that she was in that room. Her heart was pounding quite sturdily; and if she was being honest, her mind had completely blanked out once they yelled ‘action,’ but that was usual for her. 
Now that it was ten days after her audition and Halloween, Harry practically begged Luci to get out of her apartment. She knew that she couldn’t stay cooped up in her room as she overthought the audition constantly. She began to get headaches from overthinking every single thing she did in that audition, and it drove her insane. 
So, when Harry suggested that she should go to the Halloween party that Daisy was throwing on the rooftop of her building, she dreaded it at first, but the thought of going out was calling her. She assumed Daisy wouldn’t want Luci to be at her party, but she invited the entire cast and a few more people that she knew personally, so it wasn’t like Daisy was going to speak to her. Since it was a party, everyone could bring a guest or a few friends, so that was when Luci begged Harry to attend with her. 
“Please, come with me.” She had her best pouty lip on, looking at him with doe eyes. Just by that look, he almost gave in, but he wasn’t sure if this type of party was for him. Harry was a mellow and chill guy; he didn’t need rooftop parties and unlimited amounts of booze. He was fine with a small gathering, a few movies and board games—now, that was his type of party. “The party would be so much more fun with you there.” 
Harry playfully scoffed. “Please. Luci, I’m the most boring guy there is.” 
Her brows furrowed in disagreement. “No, you’re not. I happen to think you’re quite fun.” He smiled softly at her in appreciation. “Please. We wouldn’t even have to stay that long.” 
He could tell that she wanted, no, needed him to be there with her. She wasn’t very close with her cast mates—despite all the months she’d been part of the production—besides Nina. But Nina knew everyone so Luci would be left awkwardly standing there, waiting for her friend to come back. 
“How long would we stay?” 
Her eyes brightened with hope. “However long you want.” 
“An hour? Hour and a half, tops?” 
“Sounds perfectly fine to me.” 
“And what would we wear?”
Luci was a bit shocked by his question. “You wanna match?” 
“I mean, that would be fun, right?” She nodded, agreeing. “Since it is quite last minute, I say we dress up as the 70s or 80s era. Pretty easy, right?” 
She liked the sound of that. “Yes, let’s do 70s! I wanna raid your closet because I know you have some gems in there.” 
Harry laughed out loud—her favorite laugh that was music to her ears. He knew he had a great sense of fashion, and he’d always go to the thrift store to pick up something that he’d never worn before. It wasn’t like he was not going to wear it, he just needed to be more comfortable with himself to wear the clothes that he buys. So, for now, he settled with black skinny jeans and patterned-print button downs, which is the most ‘flashy’ he’d dress as…for now. 
“I knew I liked you for a reason because I was hoping you’d say 70s.” Luci felt her cheeks warm up before they went to Harry’s apartment. 
It took an hour and a half to find an outfit that Harry liked; it would’ve been shorter, but with Harry’s 70s playlist that was playing in the background, they took breaks to dance and sing. Harry had a beautiful voice, Luci thought; and she wondered if he was ever in a band before or wrote music because he does have an elaborate music taste, and that added to Luci’s liking for him. 
They proceeded to go to Luci’s apartment so Harry could help her find an outfit. He brought his wireless speaker so the music wouldn’t stop; and she continuously threw the articles of clothing onto her bed—where Harry was lying on his stomach—every time he shook his head no. 
With the same amount of time it took Harry to decide on an outfit, Luci settled on hers. She looked in her full-body mirror, twirling around to see if it looked okay and if she was satisfied with it. Harry remained on her bed, admiring how beautiful she looked as he thought that she was way out of his league. As Luci was dancing and prancing around her apartment, Harry was deep in his thoughts; he didn’t know if asking Luci out was the way to go. Not only would he lose her as a friend when or if she rejects him, but he couldn’t bear the ache he would feel in his heart. 
For his own sake, he needed to protect himself before the heartbreak; and if that meant refraining himself from making a move, then that was completely fine to him. 
“Ready?” Luci called out from the doorway. Harry got off the bed, looking her up and down. 
She was wearing peach colored pants that flare at the bottom, sitting high on her waist; a white silk blouse with orange accents, a long brown coat because it was quite chilly outside, and pink glasses that were transparent. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful, and her outfit was meant for her. The colors matched Harry’s outfit as he wore rust-orange pants that sat wide at the bottom, a flashy patterned long-sleeved blouse with the collar matching his pants. Luci gave him a similar pair of glasses as hers, so they weren’t wearing shaded lenses in the nighttime. 
“Yup. You, uh, look really good.” 
Luci smiled, shrugging one shoulder. “Thank you! You look good, too. This color looks amazing on you.” 
Harry looked down at his outfit, hiding the blush that formed on his cheeks. “Thank you. I like it a lot.” 
They headed out and towards Daisy’s apartment building where the rooftop was large enough for everyone to stand comfortably without feeling like they were shoulder-to-shoulder. There were plenty of lounge chairs, and a few tall bar tables next to tall heaters, considering it was just below fifty degrees. 
Some people were making their way towards Daisy's apartment since it was too cold outside, but Harry and Luci decided to stay, both agreeing that the heaters were keeping them warm as they sipped on their drinks. 
“Luci!” Nina walked over towards her, giving her a hug; Luci made sure not to mess up the placement of her fairy wings. 
“You look amazing!” Luci complimented as Nina put her hands on her cheeks, thanking her friend. Luci could tell that Nina was a bit drunk already as her eyes were drooping and she couldn’t stand straight on her own two feet. 
“Harry! I’m so glad you’re here.” He smiled saying hello to her. Nina and Harry met in July when he had gone to see another show. He was giving Luci another bouquet of flowers—the same bundle that he gave her the last time since she told him that she really liked them, and they looked amazing on her windowsill—and she dragged him to find Nina since she was performing the same show. Nina immediately gave Luci that certain look that said ‘he’s really cute,’ and Luci just nodded, giving her an apparent look as well. 
“Did you bring anyone?” Luci asked, knowing that she was talking to a few guys; her favorites, from what Nina told her, was Laurent and Alec—the two guys that are in her Soul Cycle class, one on Monday and the other on Friday. 
Nina shook her head. “No. I wanted to get fucked up today and didn’t want any of my mans see that shit. Oh! Can I take a picture of you two? You both look so cute!” 
Luci looked at Harry, silently asking and he nodded. She stood beside him, not knowing whether to put her arm around his waist. They’d never taken a picture together before, after all the months of knowing each other. Luci handed Nina her phone before she turned on the flash, taking a picture of the two. Harry hesitantly puts his arm around Luci’s shoulder, making her look at him, smiling. She then wrapped her arm around his waist as they both smiled at each other before looking back at the camera. Nina was squealing behind the phone because she just captured the cute and quiet interaction between them that made for a sweet candid. 
Nina handed Luci’s phone back to her before she told her that she was going to talk to some other people. The two women hugged, and Nina said goodbye to Harry. 
Harry leaned into Luci’s side, bending down slightly. “Send me those pictures, yeah?” 
A chill ran through her body at the sound of his voice so close to her ear. “Sure,” she croaked out, sending the pictures to him. 
After a few moments of light conversation and humming the beat of the music, Harry asked, “So, which one is Daisy?” 
Luci looked at him, quite shocked as to what sparked his interest in her, but she didn’t say anything. She looked around until she spotted her in a leather catwoman suit, hugging her body tightly that Luci thought it was cutting off her circulation. But she had to admit that it looked amazing on her. 
“That one.” She slyly pointed at Daisy who was talking to some of her friends. Luci was surprised to see that Samuel wasn’t here, considering that he was part of the cast. Daisy and Samuel seemed to be in their ‘off again’ stage of their relationship; and no one who was part of the cast or who was close to them could keep up with how many times they’d been through that stage, but they seemed to like each other too much to call it quits for good. 
“Hmm. She seems nice.” 
“Yeah, she does—to everyone except me.” They were both looking at Daisy, and it was like Daisy could sense a few eyes on her, so she looked around and made direct eye contact with Luci. She excused herself to her group of friends before making her way towards her and Harry. “Speak of the devil.” Luci sighed, making Harry chuckle. 
“Luci! I’m so glad you made it.” Daisy faked a smile as she greeted Luci with a hug, which surprised both Luci and Harry. Daisy pulled away, immediately locking eyes on this. “Oh, who’s your friend?” Instantly, Luci knew why Daisy was so nice to her; it was because she spotted Harry and didn’t want him to think she was such a bitch. 
With her brows furrowed, Luci shifted a little closer to Harry who was standing there and not saying anything. “This is Harry.” 
Daisy flashed him her stunning smile that wooed almost everyone. “Hi, I’m Daisy.” He shook her hand, introducing himself. “Your outfit looks really good.” She complimented him. 
“Thanks, Luci helped me pick it out.” He smiled at Luci, who was smirking. For a second, Daisy rolled her eyes before she returned to her big smile. 
“Would you like to get a drink with me? I see you’re almost empty.” Daisy’s eyes pointed at his cup, which only had a small sip lingering at the bottom of his clear plastic cup. 
“Uh-”
“C’mon, just one drink?” Her voice was innocent and sweet, nothing like the cruel and rude Daisy that Luci knew all too well. 
What Luci expected Harry to say was that he was okay and that he didn’t want a drink with her, but he responded quite the opposite. 
“Okay, sure.” Luci’s head averted towards Harry as she looked at him with shock and a face asking what the fuck he was doing. But he shrugged as Daisy clapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the bar. Luci huffed, watching the two walk away and she was left by herself with a watered down drink and the cold air. 
She figured she’d wait for him to come back to where she was sitting, hoping he wouldn’t take too long. 
But twenty minutes had gone by, and Luci started getting annoyed.  
Thirty minutes, and Luci tells herself that she doesn’t care and mindlessly goes on her phone. 
An hour had gone by when Luci huffed, mentally saying that she does give a shit and goes to find Harry. 
How long could one drink take anyways? Definitely not an hour, Luci thought. She searched the rooftop for the two, only to hope that Harry was looking for her too. After ten minutes of looking around the rooftop, passing her cast mates who were asking her to take a shot with them—she took another one, adding more alcohol into her body—she couldn’t find Harry. She started to think the worst; he could’ve possibly taken Daisy home, or Daisy could have taken him up to her room—either way, she didn’t like any of those options. 
For a minute, she mentally debated if she should check Daisy’s apartment, which would be better since it was warmer indoors than it was out—she was convinced it got colder once Harry left her side—but the negative side of her mind, who was taunting her like the devil on her left shoulder, told her to check if Harry was inside because she wasn’t going to like what she was going to see. 
Either way, she needed to find Harry and she didn’t want to go home without him, so she went inside the building and took the elevator down to Daisy’s floor. There were people walking in and out of her place, so it wasn’t that difficult to find which one was hers. With the same amount of people inside her apartment as there was on the rooftop, Luci made her way through the nice and luxurious apartment. She was just on the edge of tipsy; the drinks with her coworkers had gotten her there. Heading up the stairs, she passed by people who were making out, cuddling on the steps, and talking. 
Once she got to the end of the hallway, she had almost given up on her search for Harry until the door at the end of the hall opened, revealing Harry who was leaving and quietly closing the door. 
Luci stood in the middle with an expressionless face. He hadn’t seen her yet, but the way she wasn’t giving any emotion didn’t mean that she didn’t care; the thoughts in her mind were invading every inch that there was just too much to focus on. 
Harry turned around, stopping in his tracks once he faced her. 
“Hey,” he greeted softly. 
“Hi.” 
“I’m sorry for leaving-”
“Were you…” Luci referred to what was happening inside the room as she couldn’t finish her sentence because the thought and the words simply disgusted her. 
“N-No.”
“Why do you seem unsure?” She was testing him; she heard the hesitancy in his voice, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell the truth. 
A new attitude rose him. “Why do you care?” His voice was a tad bit harsher, but he was a little confused on why she was questioning his actions. 
She inhaled and exhaled deeply, crossing her arms, avoiding his question. “I’m going home. Are you coming with or…?” Harry bit the inside of his cheek, remembering that she hadn’t answered his question, so he’ll ask again later. He nodded, and Luci turned around; he followed. 
The entire ride on the subway and walking towards their apartment building was quiet. They didn’t even sit next to each other like they always did; just across one another, avoiding eye contact.
It was when they were both in front and unlocking their doors was when Harry spoke up. 
“Luci.” She stopped her movements, turning around slowly as did he. This time, she looked at him so deeply in the eyes that it was physically difficult for her to take her eyes off him. “Why were you mad at me before we left?” 
On the ride back home, Harry thought about the events at the party. He’d never seen Luci so annoyed at him before, so it got him thinking a lot about what she felt for him. She was jealous, anyone could see that, and he wanted her to say it out loud why she was jealous because he could name a few reasons. 
“Did you have a good time with Daisy?” 
Harry breathed out a chuckle. “You’re jealous,” he stated immediately. 
“Answer my question-”
“Then answer mine.” 
The tension was so thick that with just one small poke of a needle, it would collapse and break. They’d never had this type of conversation before, where the tension was rising and the room felt warm; they were always playful and laughing with each other that neither of them thought they were capable of having this certain type of energy with one another. 
“I was mad because you left me alone at the party…with Daisy of all people,” she said honestly, leaving a few things out. 
“Is that all?” He raised his brows, crossing his arms. 
Luci shook her head. “That’s not how it works, Styles. I answer yours, you answer mine.” 
A smug grin landed on Harry’s face. “Did I have a good time with Daisy?” He repeated her question. “To be honest with you, no. She was pretty drunk, so I took her to her bedroom—that’s why I was in there, She was…nice.” Luci sensed a ‘but’ trailing. “She even asked me if I’d wanna go out some time.”
“What’d you say?” 
He tsked. “Not how it works, Suki.” Luci rolled her eyes, letting out a soft huff. “Hey, they’re your rules.” He chuckled. “Now, answer this: why were you jealous?” 
There was a surge of confidence that Harry’s never felt before; maybe it was because he knew things Luci didn’t know herself, but watching her unfold those realizations was definitely feeding his ego. 
Luci sighed deeply before she started. “Knowing that Daisy could possibly get anyone she wanted was a bit of an insecurity of mine when we were on our way to the party. That was because I knew she’d want you. I mean…look at you, you’re literally so gorgeous.” Harry blushed. “And I knew that it was inevitable that she would ask you to hang out; I was just surprised when you said yes.” 
He nodded. “I rejected her when she asked if I wanted to go out.” A bit of weight lifted from Luci’s shoulders, but not completely as there was still something heavy she’s been wanting to say. “Why’d you hope I’d say no? Besides the obvious that she’s mean and rude to you.” 
Alright, time to fess up, Luci. 
Luci inhaled deeply, hoping her confession wouldn’t have him running for the hills. “Because why would you go out with her when you could go out with me? Like, on a date…” Her anxiety was up to her chin as she locked her hands behind her back, preventing them from shaking any more than they already were. 
That one simple question had answered all of the other questions swirling in his mind; not the ones that were asked in the rapid fire round of questioning and answering under the thick cloud of tension over them, but the ones he asked himself a few months ago when he was doubting that she’d ever felt something for him because all this time, she had felt something, and she just asked him out. 
His heart flipped. “You wanna go on a date with me?” 
“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask, but I didn’t know if you were interested in me or not,” she said shyly. Luci hadn’t asked someone out before—someone she was really interested in. She’d either wait until they asked her and if they didn’t, she’d move on and pretend that her feelings for them never existed. But Harry was different; seeing him with Daisy tonight had made her realize just how much she felt for him. He made her laugh, smile, and he was such a kind person. 
“I’d love to.” He suddenly answered, taking her back a little. 
She looked at him with wide eyes. “R-Really?” 
“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you too, because I’m very much interested in you, but I didn’t know you were interested, well, until tonight.” Luci giggled. 
“I made it pretty obvious that I was jealous, huh?” 
“A tad bit, but it’s sweet; and I wasn’t gonna go on a date with Daisy. She’s no Luciana Ivy Suki.” He teased, making her face heat up at the sound of her full name coming from his lips. She wanted to kiss him right then and then, wanted to taste the sweet taste that he was storing in his mouth; but she refrained from doing so, figuring that they’d wait until after their date—whenever that was—to wait to kiss him because it would very much be worth the wait. 
“Okay, I’ll, uh, plan the date then.” Her lips turned up, feeling a certain ache on her cheeks already from smiling too much. 
“Can I plan it too?” He genuinely asked. 
“I did ask you, Harry.” She raised her brows teasingly. 
“Alright, alright. I’ll plan the next date then.” He blushed. 
Luci tilted her head, smiling sweetly at his words. “The next date, huh? We haven’t even been on the first date; what makes you think there’ll be a second one.” 
“Oh, love, I think there will be.” Harry stepped closer to her, heart pounding in his chest; Luci gulped at the closeness. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her by the way he was looking at her intently. And for a moment, she was gonna give in and say ‘fuck waiting,’ and kiss his pink lips until he leaned forward and kissed her soft cheek for a brief moment. “Can’t wait for our date. Let me know what the plans are.” 
“O-Okay.” The touch of his lips on her skin had stunned her, and she wanted them back on her instantly. 
Harry opened his door, giving Luci a small smile before walking in. She started to slowly back into her open apartment, holding onto the door handle tightly. Before they closed their doors, they stared at one another, admiring each other before they said: 
“Sweet dreams, Luciana.” 
“Sweet dreams, Harry.” 
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November 8, 2017 
Harry strongly knocked three times on the door right across from his own door with a bag full of takeout, another bag full of snacks, and a small brown bag that had a white box inside. 
The door swung open; Luci smiled at the person behind it. 
“Happy Birthday, love!” Harry greeted.
“Aww, Harry, thank you so much.” She was surprised that he remembered, let alone bring a celebration to her as she eyed the bags in his hands. Luci turned twenty-six today; her day was full of greetings from her cast mates, her family, and FaceTime calls from her brother and parents. She was going to make a trip back home for a day or two since she had to perform on Friday, but she was going to see her parents during Thanksgiving, so FaceTime calls had to suffice till then. 
Stepping to the side, she invited him in. He hugged her tightly, kissing the side of her head as her face heated up. They walked to the kitchen, and Harry set the bags on the countertop, unraveling the tie of the takeout. 
“First, I’m sorry for just showing up unannounced and invading your place.” He added a breathy laugh. 
“No, it’s okay! You’re welcomed any time,” she genuinely said; Harry made a mental note of that. 
“Second, this is not a date. I know you didn’t want today to be our first date, but I couldn’t just sit in my apartment and not do anything on your special day! So, here I am.” 
“Here you are.” Luci couldn’t help the warmth that rushed to her face and neck. 
“Third, I brought Chinese since it’s your favorite food. And I just so happen to know a lovely place that has the best Chinese in Brooklyn, which is my favorite place that I’ll take you to soon, but know that you’re so incredibly special because I never take anyone there.” He took the takeaway boxes out of the bag, opening them up as steam released from the boxes. 
Luci leaned against the countertop. “And what makes me so special?” Teasingly fluttering her eyes. 
Harry stopped what he was doing, looking at her intently. “You’re so sweet, funny, and incredibly kind. But most importantly, you’re grounded and humble; and you’re special to me.” His dimpled poked through his skin as he smiled, meaning every word. 
Heart flipping, stomach in knots, and tears washing over her eyes, Luci walked around the counter to hug him, head resting against his chest as she whispered a ‘thank you’ in his ear. 
For the rest of their night, they ate the authentic Chinese food while Harry told her about the restaurant he got it from, including the workers who owned the place. They also talked about work, teased, flirted, and bantered about whether fruit belonged in salads—they do not. 
Harry gave her the brown paper bag that held her gift, and she opened it with shock. He gifted her a gold circle pin that was customized with her initials engraved in the middle, and the saying ‘Shine bright, Dream even bigger,’ separated at the top and bottom. He’d noticed that she had pins on her travel backpack, and would occasionally wear one on the side of her baseball cap. It was the most thoughtful and attentive gift she’d ever received, and that earned Harry a tight hug and many thank you’s. 
After the night was coming close to eleven-thirty, Harry called it a night as he still had to wake up early tomorrow for work. Their goodbye at her door was a long one that was filled with tight and long hugs as they swayed for a moment, enjoying the warmth of each other. They promised each other that they would find a day that was open in their schedule so they could finally have their date; they even pinky swore on it—Harry kissed her pinky, vowing. 
Luci watched Harry open his door before walking inside his apartment; she blew him a kiss as he caught it, placing his palm on his cheek, making her smile. 
As they closed their doors, Luci couldn’t help but think that she just had the best birthday ever. 
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November 17, 2017 
Luci’s leg nervously shook as she waited for her digital clock to hit 2:30 p.m. 
Today was Luci and Harry’s first date, and will hopefully be written down in history. She’d been anticipating this day for a while now, and she couldn’t believe the day was finally here. The few days after she asked him out, they tried settling on a date, but the two weeks after Halloween were booked for them. 
Luci was performing most days out of the week and Harry needed to figure out his teaching plans since it was close to Thanksgiving break and winter break. But when Harry found out that he had a random Friday off, he immediately told her, and to their luck, Luci wasn’t performing that day. So, they were settled on a day, and Luci couldn’t wait to take him out. 
She told him that he was going to need to dress warm since they were going to be outside for most of the day, so he opted for light blue jeans that were a bit baggy, a white t-shirt, a black coat that had faux fur on the thick collar and cuffs; since he, assumingly, was going to be walking around a lot, he wore black old school vans. Harry looked in the mirror, ruffling his hair in his hands to get it to stick the way he wanted it to. His hands slightly shook as he was fixing his hair, and he realized he hadn’t felt this nervous in a while; it had been a while since he’d gone on a date with someone he truly liked. 
When it hit two-thirty, Harry opened his door and locked it before taking a step forward. He took a breath, shaking his nerves off; as he was just about to knock, he heard Luci shuffling around inside her apartment as her keys jingled in her hands and her boots thudded against the wood. He put his hand down, thinking it would be nice for her to just see him right when she opened the door. After a few moments, Luci felt like she had everything she needed, so she swung her door open to only find Harry standing right in front of it, hiding behind a familiar bouquet of flowers—her favorite ones from him. 
“Hello.” He smiled, dimples clearly present. Luci felt like she could cry on the spot from just being so overwhelmed with her nerves and the anticipation leading up to this day, this moment. “These are for you. Hope you never get tired of them.” Harry handed her the bouquet, and she hugged them to her chest. 
“Harry, thank you. Believe me, I would never.” The start of her cheek aches had begun, and it had been about thirty seconds into their date. But cheek aches with Harry were her favorite type of aches, so she didn’t really mind it. 
She went back inside her apartment as Harry followed her in; she put the flowers in a vase before fixing them a little, making sure none of them were drooping down on the edge of the glass vase. Placing them on her windowsill, where she usually puts the flowers Harry gifted her, she smiled gratefully at them before turning her head and smiling at Harry, extra grateful. 
“Shall we go?” He asked, and she nodded. 
Harry followed Luci down to the subway station as she got on the M train. In eleven minutes, there were four stops; the subway was quite packed with no available seats, so the two stood, holding onto the silver bar in between them with their bodies close in proximity as they stood. Harry took the chance to look down at her, simply admiring her beauty as she mindlessly looked around, not noticing his eyes lingering on her. 
When their stop was on Essex Street, they got off, transferring onto the F train towards Coney Island; and Harry suddenly knew exactly where they were going. He didn’t say anything but smile. The entirety of the ride took forty-two minutes with twenty-two stops; they were able to sit down next to each other after the first stop. 
Their bodies were close—thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder. Luci took out her wired earphones—figuring they were going to be there for a while, why not listen to some music—handing Harry the left one as she put the right one in. She played Fleetwood Mac, Tame Impala, ABBA, Lorde, and Hozier—a few artists they’d bonded over—as they both swayed in their seats, making up some dance routine with their arms and shoulders. They laughed and ignored the weird looks of bystanders, who were trying to have a peaceful train ride to their destination, but Luci and Harry were too focused on each other to care. 
Once it was their stop, Luci put her headphones and phone in her purse before they got off and walked side by side one another. Harry had the urge to pull her close to his side, to hold her soft hand, but he was too shy to make a move. When they walked up the stairs to exit the station, their fingers brushed together—practically bumping into one another. Luci confidently made the move and linked their fingers together; Harry looked down and back up at her as he blushed, squeezing her hand lightly. 
“Is this okay?” She asked, looking up at him. 
“It’s perfect.” He meant it; the way her small hands fit so perfectly into his, as if he was protecting them. Holding her hand was comforting, and it surprised him at how comfortable he was to be making physical contact with her; but ever since he met Luci, he’s surprised himself quite a few times already. 
They finally reached their first date hotspot, and Harry assumed right as to where she was taking him. 
Three wide entryways painted in navy blue and orange had ‘Luna Park’ painted in orange at the top. Above the entryways were large flower-like and crescent moons that lit up during the nighttime, giving the boardwalk the most illuminating glow. The large Ferris wheel could not be missed as the carts swung and rattled back and forth. On top of the excitement of the amusement park, there were screams from people who were on the roller coasters, and the smell of fair food that they couldn’t wait to devour. 
Luci paid for their entrance admission, and Harry frowned, wanting to pay, but they both agreed that they could go half on the food, and games and rides. 
They felt like little kids who were at Disneyland, minus the famous castle and Main Street music, as they walked around the park to check it out as the wood beneath them creaked with every step while they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. 
“Everything looks really fun,” Harry exclaimed.
“Right! Do you wanna play some games first or ride on some rides?” 
“How about we get the rides out of the way? You look very excited to go on them, and I have a feeling there’s no way you’re not going on them without me.” Harry assumed, quite accurately. 
Luci put her hand on her heart teasingly. “You know me too well.” Harry chuckled. “Okay, let’s go on some rides!” She dragged him to the admissions booth, and Harry paid for both of their passes for rides. 
They waited in line for the ‘Cyclone,’ which was the biggest rollercoaster besides the Wonder Wheel. Luci sensed Harry’s nerves as he kept looking up at the ride, and he couldn’t keep still. 
She squeezed his hand tightly. “Harry, you don’t have to go on the ride with me.” She was starting to feel concerned for him because his hands were becoming damp, which she didn’t care for, and he kept bouncing his leg everytime the line stopped moving. 
He raised his brows, and brushed away his nerves to the side but not very far. “No, no. It’s okay—I’ll be okay.” 
“Are you sure?” 
Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, he nodded. “I’m sure. We’re here to have some fun, not be nervous, right?” 
“Yeah. But I’ll admit, I was nervous before we left,” she said, hoping to change the subject to distract him from the fast ride above them. 
“Why’s that?” He curled his lips into his mouth. 
“This is our first date, I want it to go well,” she said honestly. It had been a while since she’d been on a real date—the last one being in college—but to be nervous for a date was a feeling she wasn’t familiar with. 
“Think it’s going quite well, don’t you think?” He gave her a toothless grin, brows raised. Luci nodded, happy that he was always reassuring her and making her feel comfortable. “Plus, I was nervous too—still am, if I’m being honest.” 
“Yeah?” 
He nodded his head as if his nerves were the most obvious thing. “Oh, yeah. I want this to go well too. But by the way we’ve been friends for months before this happened, I think we’ll be okay, Ci.” Her eyes slightly widened at the new nickname that she’d never heard; Harry instantly noticed her shock. “I-Is it okay if I call you that?” To be honest, he’s always wanted to call her some unique nickname that would only be for him. ‘Luci’ seemed to be the name everyone called her, ‘Ana’ was her brother’s name for her, so the last syllable in her name seemed to be free. 
“No one’s ever called me that.” And she thinks that’s extra special. “But yes, please call me that.” She approved, and he smiled. 
It was their turn to get onto the Cyclone, and Harry suddenly didn’t feel so nervous anymore as they were being safely strapped into their rollercoaster cart. The ride was quite high, looking over the blue water and Coney Island Beach; the view was quite gorgeous, even in the middle of a cold November day in New York. 
They screamed as the ride dropped; Luci held up one of her arms as the other held tightly on Harry’s hand as he grasped the metal bar, afraid to bravely put his arm up like his beautiful date. 
When the ride was finished, they had a rush of exhilaration, wanting to go on the other rides. So, they did; they laughed, screamed, and were the most carefree people they’d ever been in their entire lives because they brought it out of each other. 
After they filled their rollercoaster crave, they ate and talked. Individually, they were both worried about this part of the date where they had to talk because they’d been hanging out for so many months and getting to know each other that they thought coming up with conversation topics were going to be difficult. But it was natural for them; they didn’t put any pressure on themselves to speak every single minute of the date. Instead, they relished in the comfortable silence they seemed to form, not minding it one bit. 
The sky had turned into a cotton candy pink from a bright blue quite quickly. Luci wanted to watch the sunset, but was a bit sad that they hadn’t played the majority of the games; but Harry told her it was okay, and they would come back another time when the park reopened again during the Spring. 
Hand in hand, they walked to the beach that was just across the street from Luna Park. The bright lights from the park were becoming distant as they continued to walk further away from it. Since it was mid November, there weren’t that many people out because of the cold temperature—just the few people who were passing by along with others who decided to watch the sunset as well. 
“Tell me about your last relationship?” Luci suddenly asked; Harry looked at her amusingly. 
“Like now? In the middle of our date?” He teased, making her laugh. 
“I mean, if you want to. I was just curious.” 
Harry thought for a moment. “Hmm. My last serious relationship was over a year ago. We broke up right before I started teaching at the middle school.” 
“What happened?” She asked softly, not wanting to pry, but she was also curious. 
“We weren’t good for each other anymore. I guess life happened, and we turned into people we weren’t proud of. We grew apart; she was more in love with her career than she was in love with me. Couldn’t say I was the best boyfriend either,” he explained, not getting into too much detail. But he’d neglected her without even realizing it, causing his ex to occupy herself with work. “So, we broke up. And it felt like it was a sign from the universe that was holding me back from venturing out because I immediately got a job at the school when I had been putting off finding a proper teaching job.” He breathed out a chuckle, remembering the memory.
He’ll admit, his last relationship had hurt him quite a lot. He’d never felt such pain before, and it had made him quiet and reserved. But how it ended made him not seek out to find a relationship. For a while, he didn’t like the idea of love because it had only hurt you. But then he met Luci, and at first, he was hesitant to even be her friend because just at first glance, he was ruined, and he didn’t want to go through that process again; but here they are now. And maybe, he’ll tell her this, but for now, he doesn’t want to scare her off. 
“Do you still talk to her?” 
“Nope. Last I heard of her, she was engaged to this woman she met a few weeks after our breakup, but I have no clue if they’re still together.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What about you?” 
“My last relationship?” Harry nodded. “To be honest, I’ve never been in a serious one…like ever.” 
He raised his brows in shock. “Really?” 
“Yeah. The furthest I’ve gone that was close to a relationship was a friends-with-benefits towards the end of college, which didn’t end well.” Harry sensed her mood change a bit, so he didn’t pry on asking what happened in the past. The bad memories had filled her mind, making her frown, but she pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to think about them at the moment because the timing is unbelievable. “That’s that; I don't have any exciting or tea-spilling relationship stories.” 
For a moment, she didn’t want to jinx her luck, but she imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with Harry—despite it only being their first date. Her mind took her to a fantasy that was so special and sweet because that was how she pictured what it would be like to be with him. 
They sat in silence as the sound of the waves crashing and the seagulls above them took over their hearing. It was nice and refreshing to sit side by side, taking in the beautiful scenery that the world provided. Sunsets had always made Luci feel a vast amount of gratitude towards the world and the people around her; the opportunities, the things that she got to see—they all wouldn’t have happened if the sun didn't go down, promising a new tomorrow. 
Suddenly, Harry stood up, brushing the sand that had gotten on his jeans. He reached out to Luci, who was still sitting down and looking up at him. 
“C’mon. Let’s walk,” he suggested. She grabbed his hand as he helped her up, and she patted away the soft sand that had stuck to her black jeans. 
They held hands as they walked the shore of Coney Island Beach, walking towards where the sun was departing from the world. Once the sky had turned into a purple and orange blended masterpiece, Harry stopped walking, facing Luci as he took a deep breath. 
“I’m trying…really hard to hold back.” He held her cold hands in his, lightly pushing and pulling her towards him. He’d been thinking about it for the entirety of their date, and he just wanted to pull her in and kiss her whenever.
Luci shook her head softly as she stopped swaying; her eyes flickered towards his mouth, glad she wasn’t the only one thinking the same thing. She dreamed of this—had been wanting to press her lips against his for quite some time 
“Don’t hold back. Please, don’t hold back.” Her tone and eyes were pleading for him to not refrain himself from the most magical feeling. Luci let go of his hands, wrapping them around his waist as if she was giving him permission to kiss her. 
He placed his hands on her shoulders, gently rubbing down to her elbows before he trailed them back up and to the sides of her neck and jaw. Placing a soft kiss to her forehead before placing his on Luci’s, he inhaled deeply, taking in the saltiness of the ocean next to them and the sweetness of her skin. 
Luci fluttered her eyes closed, and Harry took that opportunity to connect his lips with hers. They molded their lips together as if it were one, tasting one another for the first time. The feeling of their passionate kiss felt like the ocean had synchronized together, forming the most beautiful and largest wave for the most dedicated surfer; and when it crashed, it was powerful, breathtaking, and strong—like no other wave could top this one, no one could top this one of a kind kiss. 
Harry smiled into the kiss, making Luci smile and giggle as well. Her stomach fluttered, hugging him tighter to her as his thumbs gently caressed her soft skin. Nothing could top this feeling. 
Pulling back, Harry breathed out a giddy chuckle before placing a few more pecks on her lips as if he was dreaming the first time. Luci opened her eyes as did he; she looked into his and found an immense amount of adoration within him. 
“I like you…a lot.” 
She leaned her forehead against his chest, cheekily smiling and restricting herself from squealing before she looked back up at him. “I like you too, Harry.” 
Harry flashed her his smile, something that he couldn’t wipe off his face, not like he tried. Nowadays, he was smiling a lot more, and he was one hundred percent sure Luci was the cause of it. 
Kissing her forehead, Harry hugged her to his chest as they watched the sun go down. With her face pressed against his chest, she heard the erratic heartbeat that was pounded heavily; and in that moment, she knew exactly how that felt—to feel so much for one person that your heart could fall out—and she only hoped he could feel hers because it was pounding just the same. 
As they held each other tightly, they both knew that this was going to be something special. 
And they were all in for the ride.
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an exciting chapter! come talk to me about your thoughts, feelings, favorite moments and scenes! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be up next saturday!
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d0llpie · 3 years
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heyy :> could you do prompts 25 and 35 with Suga for studying? his s/o is procrastinating college classes due to distractions and just needs to do their work even though they feel like giving up (literally right in the beginning of the year, too). their s/o feels like they can't handle it, but they just need encouragement from Suga (maybe even a bonk on the head LOL)
Procrastinating s/o
Sugawara x reader
prompt; “you look like you could use a hug” and “put me down”
a/n: thank you for the request <33
wc: 700
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The semester had only just begun and yet you already felt like you were on edge, small tasks piling up into chores as you continued to stress over the work, without actually completing it. Every time you tried to start on a task it became too overwhelming, picking up your phone every few minutes, losing your place in the paragraph you were reading, deciding it was time to make a meal or have a snack. You were stuck in a cycle, getting nothing done and it only drained you even more. 
You sighed out for the nth time in the last twenty minutes, dropping your pen down as you tried to re-read whatever it was you were supposed to be working on. You had turned your phone on do not disturb, trying to focus on completing at least one task before bed. You could feel yourself growing more and more frustrated with yourself, running your hand through your hair hastily as tears of frustration and exhaustion welled up in your eyes. Breathing in deeply you closed your book and rested your head against the desk, missing the continuous texts popping up on your phone from Suga. 
A few tears spilled out as you turned your head to the side, relaxing into the desk. You were only asleep for a few minutes before you heard a knock on the door, followed by Sugawara entering your room, spare key in hand. “Woah, you doing okay?” you huffed out dramatically “I have soo much work and i just can’t do it” your lip quivered as you begun to grow frustrated at yourself again “heyy it’s okay, everyone feels burnt out sometimes, don’t force it take a quick break, i brought you some iced coffee.”
you turned in your chair to look at Suga more “thank you Koushi” you rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand that sat on the edge pf your desk. “’s okay, you’ll be able to focus if you take a break you look like you could use a hug” you moved to hug him, not noticing the mischievous smile that graced his features, “Hey!” you protested giggling as he lifted you into the air “put me down” you said in between laughs as he spun you around “as you wish” you shrieked as he dropped you down onto your bed, landing on top of you and almost knocking the wind out of you. You laughed harder, swatting his arm as he gazed at you, resting his head on your stomach. “How about we watch an episode of that show you were telling me about?” you caught your breath, sitting up slightly to grab your laptop “Okay give me a second, you can get the drinks, there’s some snacks in the bag over there too.” You smiled as Suga went up to grab them. 
You watched one episode of your show while Suga massaged your hands, arms and shoulders as you sat in between his legs, relaxing against him. “Okay love, want to try and work again? How much do you have left?” You reluctantly sat up from your comfy position “Uh a fair bit, i do feel better now though thank you sugar..” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, and then to your forehead “How about i stay the night? I’ll help you and hopefully you’ll be more motivated to finish” you smiled at him, pecking his lips before returning to your desk, “Thank you again love” “Nonsense, you know you can do your work, you’re very much capable, i’ll be here to help you relax mkay? Don’t stress too much.” You gazed softly at him, nodding before immersing yourself in your work while Suga tidied up around your dorm room, occasionally whispering words of encouragement, karate chopping your shoulders when you tensed too much, followed by a kiss to the top of your head. 
Soon enough you finished your work and looked over at Suga excitedly as he lay on your bed, smiling at you, arms open for you to crawl into, finally allowing you to relax fully in his comfort. 
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stayevildarling · 3 years
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Sally McKenna x Wilhemina Venable x Reader - A little help Pt 5
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word count: 3.1k
warnings: smoking, mention of drugs, hints of smut, cursing, panic attacks, anxiety
A/N: This is an eight-part story, hope you enjoy
Rushing through the busy halls of university, your mind is racing, the thoughts so loud it sounds like bees in your head and the thoughts just won't stop buzzing, causing your vision to blur slightly, ears ringing and trembling hands, the feeling of panic and losing control of the situation any moment. You rush into the nearest bathroom, bursting the nearest door open and quickly closing it, dropping your bag and books onto the floor and sliding down the wall, trying to calm down.
Shakily you try and reach for your phone to distract yourself, maybe playing a video or maybe even messaging them but you feel woozy with every movement of your body and so you close your eyes and abandon the thought of getting your phone out of your bag. ''Breathe idiot'' you remind yourself and you try a technique that has occasionally worked in the past before, whenever you felt a panic attack coming.
''Breathe in 4-3- nope nope not working too much too loud'' you try but fail miserably at keeping your breathing under control. ''Shit'' you mutter, noticing that the feeling isn't passing and the panic only growing but how the hell did you end up hyperventilating, sitting on the bathroom floor of your university?
After Sally's relapse a few weeks back, you taking her to Mina's work and going cold-turkey, things have changed and somehow took a more unexpected turn than you expected to. Sally struggled and she struggled badly at first, she couldn't cope, constantly having you or Wilhemina around, not able to get out of the house, only on walks where you two would accompany her. There were times when she felt hatred towards you two, but not really you two more what you are doing to her or rather keeping Sally from doing to herself. There were a lot of sleepless nights, you and Wilhemina taking turns, watching her and guiding her through this journey of detoxing her body from the drugs. It was constant ups and downs, it was really hard at first with all the withdrawal symptoms and the times she would just be throwing up everything she would eat or drink and you and Wilhemina often debating whether you need to get doctors involved.
There were the good days when caffeine and nicotine helped Sally's urges and you three actually had really good days together, snuggled up on the sofa, watching everyone's favorite movies and enjoying the quiet and each other's company. Then things started going downhill, with Wilhemina having to go into work again and you looking after Sally while she was still at home , blogging from home and posting a lot to distract herself from the withdrawal symptoms.
Everything went okay at first, Mina leaving early in the morning like she usually would, with a lunch bag you packed for her the night before, just like you usually would. You woke up, snuggling closer to Sally and enjoying some quality time with her, before she sat on the sofa, working on her blog and you decided to carry on finishing your thesis because deadlines were coming up. You two sat on the sofa together in comfortable silence, just working and it was almost calming but just almost.
You were unaware that day, that Sally was fighting the most recent and hardest battle with her addiction and that her body was craving something more than just caffeine to fight this empty feeling. Maybe it was the fact that Wilhemina had to go to work and Sally knowing you are different than Wilhemina, not as strong, not as strict.
At first you thought everything was okay and when she got up, you absent-mindedly asked what she was doing, only for her to tell you she is going to the toilet. You didn't think too much of it until you heard things smashing, being thrown across the bathroom and so you instantly rushed inside the bathroom, only to find a very overwhelmed Sally, searching through every draw and cabinet to find something, anything even Mina's painkillers, just anything so she could feel release and at peace but you and Mina were smarter than that beforehand and hid any potential dangers.
''Sally'' you pleaded, understanding immediately what was going on. ''I don't fucking care Y/N I need something'' she screamed in your face while tears streamed down her cheeks. ''Where are your cigarettes?'' you asked feeling helpless, although you are very aware that cigarettes and the stuff Sally is used to, are very different. ''I ran out'' she admitted and you took a step closer to her, putting your hands on her shoulders, your eyes begging her to calm down.
''We can go and buy some right now, let's get dressed okay?'' you asked and it took two more meltdowns before she agreed to leave the house with you.
From that day on, things took a more positive turn however and you and Wilhemina got Sally to agree to go to group counseling therapy, where she would sit with a group of people, twice a week to talk about her feelings and experiences.
At first she really didn't want to go and begged you to go with her and of course you did. Sally settled in surprisingly well and she actually started looking forward to those meetings, you and Wilhemina insisted on driving her and somebody would always take her there and pick her up again after an hour. Whenever you drove her for the first few weeks, you would actually wait in the parking lot, just making sure she doesn't just pretend to go inside and leave again as soon as you or Wilhemina left.
But she didn't and you didn't learn the reason for this until a while later, because the aspect of socialising at these sessions really helped Sally. Having a group of strangers there, sharing similar stories and her finally understanding her behavior and learning that she isn't responsible for this and that it's a cycle that is very hard to escape, especially when attempting to fight it alone. She would regularly walk back to the car with the happiest smile, reaching another milestone, one week clean, two weeks clean and soon it will be one month.
Sally would talk about what she learned that day, what the others shared, she talked about someone there relapsing and how it made her feel. To motivate her further you bought this calendar and hung it the kitchen where she can mark her appointments but also her milestones.
Just when Sally, one of the two most important people of your life started doing better, you still aware that she isn't magically cured and still on this hard path of battling and fighting her demons, your other lover Wilhemina at last cracked under the pressure of the past few weeks.
With Wilhemina it's different than Sally, you would never find her broken and sad on the sofa after crying herself to sleep. You would never have her admit something is wrong, you would never hear a single complaint coming from her and that's the dangerous thing with the redhead. She is a master at hiding and shielding her emotions, of course, you got her to open up gradually and break those walls down, to get her to open up, get her to be honest, and communicate feelings or things on her mind, just like she would expect of you.
It all started with her physical therapy appointments, for years she has attended those for her back, she would do exercises there or do them at home. You being the mastermind at planning every aspect of your and their lives, you also wrote her appointments in the calendar and usually Wilhemina and Sally would tick of their appointments when finished but inspecting the calendar a bit closer one afternoon, you noticed that she hasn't ticked one off in a very long time.
''Maybe she forgot but went there'' you tried convincing yourself, remembering the many times she has told you she went to an appointment or did the exercises at home when you and Sally would be at work. It wasn't until two days later when you found out the truth, after Wilhemina calling you from work
''Little one, are you free?'' she asked and even though you were sitting in the university library, working of course you said you are because you know whenever Wilhemina calls and needs a favor it's urgent. ''Yes what is it Mina?'' you asked
''Can you call the doctors I need my pain medication again, I'm heading into a meeting now but I can pick up the prescription tomorrow morning'' she let you know and of course you did as she asked.
However, when ringing the doctors office, that you have sometimes rang or been to before when Mina needed something, they informed you that Wilhemina shouldn't be receiving any pain medication for another week, because she should still have some left and on top of that they informed you that she hadn't attended her physical therapy appointments in a while.
When the call ended you felt this silence, despite sitting outside of your university, hearing students talk, cars drive by and even some bird chirping, it was silent. Because that moment was a wakeup call, a slap from reality right in the face, reminding you that Sally isn't the only one fighting her battles even if she fights them more openly.
''It can't be a coincidence'' you tried reminding yourself and as you drove home that day your anxiety was so high, fearing Wilhemina's reaction and confronting her because you knew deep down already, no matter how you would possibly say it, she will be mad.
''For fucks sake Y/N I have attended those shitty appointment and I don't have medication left, those doctors are useless'' she cursed and neither you nor Sally have seen her like that in a while. You debated whether to fight her on this, get her to lash out but in the end admit the truth, let you and Sally in so you could be there for her and comfort her, just that never happened.
''It doesn't matter I will call them myself in the morning'' she told you. This has now been about a week ago and things became a little strange at home, Wilhemina and you wouldn't talk as much, of course, you talked, greeting each other and small talk but there was this huge wall standing between you two, none of you knowing whether to start and break it down.
Your mind being occupied by something entirely different, made it difficult to focus on Wilhemina or Sally in this past week, of course you asked them how they are, you listened, you made them baths, you did anything but university pulled you right into this ocean again, waves of responsibilities and deadlines crashing right at you.
Maybe you pushing away your own problems, stress and anxiety for over a month now, solely focussing on your two girlfriends and their wellbeing, reality and the lack of self care is finally hitting you, causing you to almost collapse on the bathroom floor of your university.
The sad part is that you did it, you finished your thesis about three days ago and today is finally the day where you are allowed to hand it in and finally have the stress come to an end, with no more obligatory classes now and you just having a break until you recieve your grades.
For the past five days or so, you haven't been able to sleep, eat or drink a lot. Of course you would occasionally force yourself to have a bite or some water or fall asleep, sitting in Mina's office in the middle of the night, reading over your thesis and work again and again. Usually before these things Mina would read over it, making sure you didn't get anything mixed up or any spelling mistakes, from all the hours of writing, researching. But within this past week, things have been so strange that you didn't want to ask her.
Still hyperventilating you are pulled out of the buzzing and loud thoughts when you hear your phone ringing. Closing your eyes, you hold your hand out and try reaching for your backpack and you manage to find a strap and pull it onto your body. Momentarily you wrap your arms around your bag as if it was a shield, stopping this crushing feeling in your chest, the pain and the thoughts, as if bullets of thoughts are being shot against you and your backpack shielding you.
But the vibration of your phone is tugging you out of this state yet again, even just for a moment. Somehow you manage to open the zip of your bag and you reach for your phone, the vibration making it easy to find with your eyes still closed, the dizzy feeling still too strong. Finally you manage to open your eyes and see Sally's photo through a blurry vision and you press the green button on your screen and the speaker button next, thinking it will be too much to actually lead the phone to your ear.
''Hi pumpkin'' her angelic voice rings through the speakers and somehow, even in this dark and scary moment you manage to smile. ''He- hey'' you manage to say and you can hear ruffling in the background
''I'm just going to one of my meetings and I was wondering how my pumpkin is doing'' she says and the crushing feeling in your chest, replaces with a fluttering feeling, you feel whenever being referred to as either their little one or pumpkin.
''By the way me and Mina were wondering when is your thesis due?'' she asks while lighting a cigarette in the car. ''I- today'' you say, feeling your breathing very slowly calming down and going to a more normal state.
''Today?'' she asks a bit shocked and she pauses for a moment, confused why you didn't mention that before, knowing how important that is to you. ''Yeah'' you mumble ''How come you didn't tell us, I could have taken you there today pumpkin or Mina could have read it again'' she asks.
Opening your eyes now, you see the time and realize you have to hand in your thesis now so you quickly try and prop yourself up, Sally's voice still right there, making you feel save and relaxed. ''I'm sorry I gotta go I have to hand it in now'' you explain and Sally nods before saying ''Good luck, love you pumpkin''.
After standing up and grabbing your bag slowly, you hold onto the bathroom walls, the last bit of stability that you have right now to hold on to, to shield you and keep you from losing control. After taking one more steady and deep breath, you unlock the door and walk towards the sink, putting some cold water on your wrists and also your face.
You open your backpack and grab a lemon gum because the sour taste usually distracts you from whatever is bothering you and the buzzing thoughts. Finally leaving the bathroom, you walk past the classrooms and hallways filled with students, for what kind of feels like one of the last times.
Your time at university flashes before your eyes in this moment, you see the main entrance and you remember the many times Sally or Mina would take you here on a monday morning after spending a beautiful weekend with them and them not having to go into work until the day later.
The places you stood, like your locker for instance, where Sally would sometimes call you and ask for help or Mina calling you and asking about your day and classes. You remember wandering these halls a few years back, before meeting Sally and Wilhemina and feeling confused as to how on earth you could ever get rid of this lonely feeling or the little skip of your heart, whenever you saw a couple kiss or hold hands. Then just about a year after, you found them and you then knew what it feels like to be held, to be kissed or to intertwine your hands with theirs.
''Oh hi there'' you hear Miss Anderson's voice and suddenly you snap out of your memories and thoughts. ''Hello Miss'' you reply with a polite smile and as you look at her you can see her features changing. ''Oh dear you don't look so well, are you okay?'' she asks and you simply nod, not really wanting to go into any details about your panic attacks or the state you were in moments before, but you can't deny how pale you are and how shaken you seem.
''Have you handed in your thesis yet?'' she asks but you shake your head ''I was just on the way'' you explain and she gives you an emphatic smile before saying ''I was just on my way over there too, come on'' and you follow her to the classroom where you are meant to hand it in.
As you arrive, you see some of your classmates, leaving the classroom, high-fiving each other and leaving with such a relieved and carefree expression, all the assignments, all the stress and exams finally over and the many sleepless nights now feeling like they were worth something.
You are greeted by Miss Parker ''Hi dear'' she greets you and you open your backpack and hand her your thesis with shaky hands, still not completely recovered from the panic attack. She looks at you, then Miss Anderson while retrieving the big folder that you carefully picked, every font, every word filled with so much detail. ''You just need to sign here now'' she explains and you do and she gives you a document after, that confirms you handed the biggest part of your entire work and time here, in now.
''You should probably get home and get some rest after all this exhausting time'' Miss Anderson suggests and you nod before Miss Parker jokingly says ''Oh come on she's young, she should be out celebrating'' and you smile at them before saying ''I will'' without explaining which suggestion you actually referred to and leaving the classroom with a polite smile.
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kneipho · 3 years
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Hope Springs Eternal Part 1
I shivered
palpably in response to the stimulus of this auspicious winter morning as though I were a nervous acolyte on his first day of probation.
It was that benchmark event called my Birthday.
Like Christmas and Easter they have this annular ring in every sense.
Dates and their import. I was raised to have the healthiest respect for them.
A rendezvous of another kind awaited me later in the day that was seasonal in another sense.
But that just added a certain spring to my step.
Entering my eight decade on earth I dragged that motley crew of bones about me.
Like a hod carrier carting clusters of smokeless polish coal for some imperious client.
But the mind has immense powers waiting to be tapped.
A mineral rich load, a vein of resources with targeted thoughts that were the match for any prescription medicine.
Age is but a number and they can be sung in harmony with one’s universe or jarringly and at odds.
I’m a late in life poet with lines very gingerly crafted at this point in time.
My aunt Virginia who raised me when my mother died started the revolution in my thinking.
“Your mind should be a diary.
Always take note of what’s happening around you and when it happened.
Time, dates, everything.
It always comes in useful.”
She said in that nuanced tonic sol fa accent of hers.
Virginia instilled in me this most functional regard for which I am eternally grateful.
Her words about dates and time echoed continually through the recesses of mind to my ultimate benefit.
I had the required notepad and pen at hand to record anything I could sculpt into a creative ode.
As of yet
a title eluded me but maybe something lustrous, radiant romantic would be apt.
Quite a lot has been composed already much to my surprise.
Virginia’s advice and the embryonic epic planted fertile shoots in my head as I entered the kitchen.
I called it my domain.
Structured in an algebraic fashion with proximity dovetailing elegance it resembled a gallery.
The sink and shrouded tap heads my first port of call.
Stooping over archly I filled a gleaming white plastic jug kettle for that morale boosting first cup of tea.
As I sipped my tea the insights Virginia kindly bequeathed started flooding back.
Those condensed pearls of wisdom regarding time and it’s ambience.
Optimism and cheer were her other passions.
As well as paying attention.
“Focus on your environment. There is joy in abundance.” Virginia opined.
“A treasure trove awaits for those who concentrate.” She said.
“Where there is joy there’s hope.
Time and hope are intertwined.”
Never losing a chance to stress matters time-related.
Typical Virginia logic.
I’m taking it more seriously now as my respect for that statute of limitations called life expectancy approaches.
This lady’s pointers were manfully ingested as my tea stained cup wobbled in my right hand with it’s rivulet of veins.
The tea leaves scattered wildly in that microcosm of a drinking vessel had a fleeting fascination for me.
But as I scanned my surroundings with the eye of a keyhole surgeon I couldn’t help but notice something else.
The kaleidoscope of colour filling the french panel window in front of the kitchen sink.
Window drabness red carded with the zeal of a strict umpire dismissing an offending player.
My intuition told me to brace myself for events both surprising and anticipated .
This afternoon’s engagement is to the forefront of my mind and for good reason.
Think I’ll leave the cell phone behind.
Or did I hear it go off?
My device was of the more crowded cumbersome type with stubborn square buttons that even the more dexterous hand would find difficult to navigate.
The fingers slipped involuntarily like I sometimes did on those treacherous black ice patches.
“It’ll wait. Can’t really be that important.” I said to myself.
It was one of those phones that emitted this discordant buzz when some arrant nuisance rings at the most inopportune time which is often.
“No … face the morning and it’s canvas of brittle prospect.” Speaking with eloquent pride to myself, Hamilton Lake.
Walking outside on this my 78th birthday could be seen as an obstacle course.
I’ve always had a thing about posture.
The feet must be properly positioned and ready for anything unexpected.
The steps from my house could be awkward and angular with hidden crevices.
Those rugged pockmarks gouged out by the chisel of that tyrant called the elements.
The inherent beauty of garden plants, on the other hand,
purged whatever sluggishness there was in my frame.
Their spectral tint and gravity defying droop gave my eyes an optic fillip.
Green border shrubs and yellow rose petals bore a magic that defied description.
Albeit with telltale winter stains.
But the mindfulness of gait and knowing that slippage could be fatal moderated my enthusiasm about my settings.
Onto the yard and then the slope towards town with a propensity for the occasional wobble notwithstanding.
A downward denouement laced with grit and optimism.
The verges on the fringe of each footpath were covered with tufts of flickering grass cavorting about in a light south east breeze.
Haywire brambles whose overlapping tentacles were embedded in every mound or patch.
Star shaped brown leaves as veiled cover for those sharp spines sticking out.
The bane of every bulging blood vessel.
An ice clad descent that can either capsize or upend even the most determined stride.
Ice that most deceptive gloss that far too easily masks it’s latent perils.
Irrespective I continued unabashed.
The heart, portent of fragility, bruising barometer of one’s twilight moment can be an ally.
A motivator of noble human impulse.
My rainbow tipped walking stick was my elder compass.
A bearing locator for crazy paving pavement slabs.
Those structures fractured by peculiarities of sudden temperature with their plummets and summits!
But focus though impaired was motivated by a stoic forbearance imbued with fire in the soul.
Virginia’s velvet toned voice enjoined on us at home to watch the clouds.
The wispy contours, greyed over forms, wooly frills and outlines drifting overhead.
She also warned of their penchant for unleashing torrents which could spoil the daily strolls of even the most ernest of ramblers.
Today the clouds weaved their way across that azure blue path called the sky.
Curiously enough the self same clouds added to their repertoire by the graceful skirting of rooftops and faraway rock formations on the outskirts of town.
“Clouds are a heavenly canvas. A floating exhibit of the firmament.
They inspire poets, works of art.” Virginia said.
They were doing just that in my case with aplomb.
The planned mysterious link up was never lost sight of amid Virginia’s majestic musings.
“Use your imagination or your imagination will use you. The borders between make belief and the real world must always be maintained.
Imaginings of every kind can be triggered by just about anything familiar.
They can assume a life of their own.”
Wonderful counsel from a wonderful woman.
Virginia, however, unlike some philosophers had a marvelous sense of humor but abhorred the canned, corny variety.
Although such humor couldn’t always be avoided I was mindful of her sensitivity on the subject.
Meticulously taking out that pad again I scribbled a few more lines.
It’s beginning to fill up.
The only thing that remains is to have someone to dedicate it to.
The human eye, a person’s best camera turned to the leach like ivy carpet which clung with tenacity to the grey grained stone wall narrowly to my right.
Preserving their corporeal integrity and playing their part while going largely unobserved.
Fir trees, enclosed by pavement railings and gardens had an overwhelming stillness about them.
An unyielding rooted presence.
They too are age defiant when cultivated and getting the right supports.
These trees act as filters for the dust, smoke and fumed manifestations of the modern manufacturer.
Urban heat island effect offset and mitigated.
All these details forensically noted.
A sudden wakening ensued.
“Hi there, Hamilton. Lovely morning for a stroll.”
My inner space rightly interrupted for a different reality.
“Maybe we’ll meet later at one of your favourite spots or a coffee shop.”
Local teens, Sonia and Winfred with whom I regularly crossed paths and swopped pleasantries of a deeper heartfelt kind.
They alighted from their bicycles
“It’s your birthday today isn’t it?
You’d put people half your age and mine to shame.” The young lady Sonia said.
Winfred her boyfriend agreed.
“Such generosity I rarely encountered from my own group.” I thought to myself.
Sonia, a vibrant vivacious youth whose tactful airborne words shone as brightly as her arched angelic face.
Winfred, her boyfriend had a slightly bulging chin and matted haired that looked as if it had been constantly drenched.
His was a handsomeness harrowed out by high jinx and crack of dawn capers.
After a friendly departure this couple dashed off with a daring and delight so dirigere of the young.
As well as the young at heart.
Sunday Submission: @mantrabay
Photograph and short story by mantrabay copyright protected.
Part two will be submitted next week with your kind permission.
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Do you think they would actually enjoy the modern world? Or would they want to stay in their current time period?
Hm, well, I think that may vary depending on each suitor if I’m honest! (I’ll be excluding Sebastian from this one, only because he is a modern man and I wager he would want to stay in the mansion in order to finish his thesis) 
Under a cut bc it’s a long boi:
I think for people like Arthur and Theo, for instance--who always seem to live in the fast lane--it might not really prove much of a problem. They would continue enjoying the night life and move with their busy schedules. Tl;dr: (For them? Same shit, different day)
Vincent would likely be doing just fine given how Theo often provides assistance in places where he struggles; to promote his art, to spark intrigue in the general public and benefactors. He might be a little overwhelmed by the influx of stimuli that comes with the modern era, constant noise and interaction and movement--perhaps worry that people are losing their ability to live in the moment. (Not to mention what’s being done to the environment...) There might be a learning curve/adjustment, but I think Theo would help him ease in. Plus, it would be a little easier to promote his art given the less stringent restrictions on public exhibitions. He’d still have to work for his fame, but at least the van Goghs wouldn’t have to live in constant unease in the proximity of the cutthroat academy.  Tl;dr: (Mixed feelings, but tries to stay positive about modern times)
Dazai is more familiar with this kind of life of quick turmoil and breakneck speed, if anything he falls back into his old coping mechanisms--hello writing, drinking, and smoking. An overwhelming influx of information and suffering would probably be hard for him to manage, despite how expertly he hides it. I think I would be worried he would lose himself in the dismal reality of diminished connection with other people. Yes I’m shoving him into therapy, I want him to start living for himself and taking care of himself ffs
That isn’t to say there aren’t happy possibilities for him, just that I think he really needs to heal first. I could see him very happy in a kind of writer’s circle with people he loves and trusts; less expending his energy in a desperate attempt to fill the void and please others, more cultivating his own happiness... Tl;dr: (Positive potential, but honestly part of me thinks the past quieter/simple/rural life suits him better...he still loves meme culture tho, he finds it so expansive and creative)
Isaac is in a similar boat as Dazai, I think! He has wonderful potential as a mentor and professor, and living in a world that has a little more patience and respect for genius might help encourage him to put himself out there. That being said, I think the pace of life would exhaust him though--he is very much the kind of person that prefers to keep to himself and just puzzle and tinker. Baby boy just wants to do equations, build little inventions, and read up on the recent discoveries in astrophysics (BRUH WHEN THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK HOLE CAME OUT HE FORGOT HOW TO B R E A T H E) Napoleon is the only reason he eats anything healthy or on any kind of regular schedule s m h. Tl;dr: (Not a lot changes, honestly? He was reclusive then, he still is now--he just has more toys/academic resources. If anything he might get a little too lost in his work because of it, somebody please make sure he’s eating/sleeping/socializing;;;)
Poor Jeanne is SUFFERING. Please release him from this nightmare he is begging. Jk jk, I don’t think it would be too bad for him--but I do think that he would have the aforementioned problem of too many stimuli and too much interaction. I think he would ease into it a little with Mozart’s help; he would just be awkward and wooden until he got the hang of it. Most people just find him quirky in an amusing way, and don’t think too hard about it. I’d wager he’d probably become literate at this point because of the abundance of resources and necessity to read/write (okay but imagine this baby with a little kid workbook iM GONNA CRY!!! TAKE ALL MY CRAYONS JEANNE). 
Can you imagine this mofo at a Starbucks??? Tall and stoic, dark and debonair (EVERYONE IS S W O O N I N G), and he just asks in a light tenor “can I have a mocha with eight shots of expresso” with a completely straight face. “Sir, that could kill you” “Don’t worry, I’ve been dead a long time” And he just moves to wait for his order. 11/10 cryptid I could watch an entire show just about his daily adventures
He works with Napoleon a lot given their similar skillsets. They coach kids at high schools that have fencing teams (it’s really REALLY cute bc if they’re on the younger side, Jeanne will very dramatically lose bc he wants to encourage them and the kids are delighted--but the parents are INCHES from laughing so hard they’re in tears). Otherwise, he mostly takes up gigs as a security worker/bodyguard, only really works for the money. He prefers to spend his time in ways that feel meaningful if he can, so don’t be surprised if you see him in foster homes and in social working spaces. He has an uncanny understanding about him, a kind of silence/patience that doesn’t stifle; it makes the kids/teens calm down in milliseconds. They really listen when he does talk, and he sets good and clear boundaries--he knows how to be firm when it’s required. He gives them the structure and placid grounding they’ve never had, and really pays attention to what’s important to them. Brings them little things he notices; brings flowers to the one that likes to draw, brings CDs (he is bad with technology, but they usually only have access to older/outdated stuff anyway) to the one the one that struggles to write with white noise in the house, brings little plushies to the ones that lose theirs. He’s simple but solid, and he finds a lot of meaning in helping kids overcome the similar kind of struggles he faced.  Tl;dr: (Steep learning curve, but he just sees it as all the same really--just more work to be done with the literacy requirement and adjustment to technology. Will be resistant at first, but when he gets accustomed and starts finding people who are important to him, he wouldn’t want to change anything/go back. But will admit there are some days he just wants to go to the most remote place he can access and just live there for a month with no human interaction whatsoever; people are inefficient and insufferable sometimes)
Mozart’s life honestly doesn’t change much? I feel like he would easily be able to keep composing and continue releasing his work as per usual. Given his quick capacity to schmooze and say what people want to hear when he must, he’d be more than able to network his way into success. I think the only thing he might struggle with now and again is inspiration, given the world operates on a very surface level in the modern era sometimes. Profound insight and depth are not quite as cultivated in many ways, and he can struggle to find something that just sparks motivation/novelty in his mind, makes him start composing at breakneck speed. He reads a lot and watches some TV shows/movies when he’s at really low inspiration levels, the kind of guy that sneers at Game of Thrones--but finds things like BBC’s Sherlock more passable (wants intrigue and complexity, doesn’t much enjoy the sensationalized drivel). When Arthur finds out he loves ATLA he about falls off his seat. “It’s a children’s show.” “Yes it is, with a remarkable level of depth and craftsmanship, what are you trying to say?” He begins to find a kind of rhythm in his composing, and Jeanne and Dazai often drop by with so many crazy stories he finds himself filled with music anyway LMAO Tl;dr: (Same as Isaac, really just keeps doing his thing without being impeded, and he enjoys the luxuries/conveniences of the modern era. Will be slightly resistant at first because of how alien some of the changes are, but will fall into the habits/customs slowly and surely. Fine with it, will whine a bit at the growing pains tho)
Leonardo actually canonically owns a bar, and does that really surprise anyone? He really enjoys the excitement of meeting new people and hearing about their myriad histories, the influx of cultures/languages/experiences. It’s a nice but lowkey place, people stop for a drink, listen to some good music--chat amiably and relax after a long day’s work--before heading out. There are regulars and people that just stop for that single day; tourists, vacationers, so on and so forth.
When asked, many people note a sleek black cat with sharp eyes that led them to the bar... Tl;dr: (Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Prequel, adapts well to the modern era because of centuries of experience but also...he’s so tired...somebody please hold him I can’t watch him live like this, lord jesus)
Optimally, I see Comte filling his time with myriad pursuits; ranging from philanthropy, indulging in art/music/theatre (often a benefactor as well), and keeping track of his chirren (they may exist more independently now, but he still worries about them ;-;). Otherwise nothing much changes for him, still goes to galas and fancy gatherings, still enjoys fashion and spoiling people, still seeks to occupy himself with social interaction and care-taking--if he doesn’t have a family of his own. He’s basically just that meme that’s like DON’T LET THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD SET-IN. DON’T LET IT SET-IN!!!!!!!!! Tl;dr: (Not to repeat myself but also Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Sequel, literally just desperately trying to fill the void please somebody help him he also just needs to be held fuck’s sake, I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into happiness--but otherwise has no great trouble adjusting to the modern era. I feel like he would have a more minor form of what Dazai struggles with, maybe a lack of personable connection that he once had; fewer chances to be himself and relax. Also probably worried about the increasing unhappiness and turmoil building in the world in general...)
Napoleon is similar to Comte in that he often checks up on Isaac and Jeanne from time to time, and does the aforementioned fencing lessons with kids. He also takes a lot of basic security positions--for venues, concerts, museums--you name it. He dislikes the idea of sitting behind a desk a lot, so he prefers to do a lot of different things; he even cooks from time to time at the restaurants  that know him very well. One gig he particularly enjoys is battle choreography for movies/theatre! He tends to stay away from anything too historically close to his era of origin, but he has fun coming up with realistic (smaller scale) hand-to-hand combat scenarios and duels. Tl;dr: (This era doesn’t feel like too much of a change. It’s a little more intensive in terms of pace, but he manages to keep up pretty well, it just exhausts him from time to time--and he usually goes on trips or hikes to unwind when he needs to like Jeanne LOL they do not go to their happy place, they go to their high lonesome place).
Shakespeare also continues to do his drama thing, organizes troupes on tons of different levels--from community level to more intense, skilled groups that re-enact his own work. His life doesn’t change all that much beyond a new form of theatre logistics, and he adjusts to the technology fairly easily out of necessity. He’ll stop by Vincent’s place from time to time to show him recordings of his latest shows, but otherwise is almost always on the move. Tl;dr: (So long as he can keep following his greatest passion, he doesn’t really mind the changes in how theatre happens--he doesn’t have any sizable issues with the modern era.)
Ability with technology (phones mostly):
Arthur: more than capable, well-versed, loves to do everything on his phone no prob--maybe lives a little too much on his phone (Vine/TikTok/Youtube can kill his productivity RIP) also yes he has a fidget spinner on his desk, no I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time
Theo: yes but with a lot of cursing at first, had to do it for work and now looks down on anyone that can’t keep up with him (except for Vincent)
Vincent: knows the basics, taking and sending pictures, writing things in notes for later, texting (tho sending emails is a little harder for him); he does his best but he can be slow. Really really enjoys the paint programs on his iPad for when he’s on public transit, but he starts setting alarms after he gets the hang of it (he’s missed his stops before because of it LMAO)
Leonardo: what kind of stupid question? Man knows how to pick them apart and put ‘em back together for crying out loud, uses it like a pro--comes to him naturally, and he’s the guy that keeps coming up with ways to jailbreak Apple products and thwart their money-grubbing tactics. Catch him playing Minish Cap on his emulator on the way to work, brah
Comte: just vibing, keeps up with the times easily since he’s been doing it for so long, much like Theo uses it to keep in touch with the people around him--he’s the “prefers to call instead of text” sorta guy though, he worries about losing emotional subtleties and he likes to hear people’s voices. Doesn’t do anything special on phones, more just a tool; will read/listen to podcasts/does have emulators (courtesy of Leo) and enjoys playing Pokemon when he’s bored
Jeanne: types one finger at a time, it will take a while--but he’ll get there (deleted all his contacts by accident once and Mozart was just. HOW.) He barely knows how to use a phone, and it’s a steep learning curve for him
Mozart: purely functional when it comes to his phone, refuses to rely on it beyond the necessities that only tech can do (for instance, sending emails or reading articles or uploading compositions) he still writes his music before making more polished digital copies. He will sometimes listen to pieces digitally, but prefers to play them in-person; he feels that a lot of the soul in a piece is lost despite the convenience
Dazai: you absolute fools. you baboons. why would you ever give him this kind of power. it is 3AM and he has been on a wikipedia trail spanning hours, started with Cleopatra being the seventh in her line with that name all the way to cotton candy being called “daddy’s beard” in French. please help him he hasn’t slept in years. Also probably binges anime and manga lbr. He’s the one making vine references every other second, always up to date on the memes^TM
Isaac: also mostly uses it as a tool for research and calculations; it’s a way to keep track of information. He also likes to play background music while he’s working, so he finds the device nice and convenient--plus less having to go around pestering people in-person. he does start to get interested in coding and tinkering with apps/programs eventually, too
Shakespeare: finds it a delightful little contraption, so useful because it lets him jot down ideas as they come to him quickly, and he can edit his texts much more easily with digital interfaces. also likes that performances can be recorded, because now he can analyze his staging more efficiently--it gives him a good sense of what needs to be adjusted, and encourages him to keep streamlining/try new concepts
Napoleon: likes it because he can keep in touch with people more easily, the kind of guy to drop a line before checking on a friend. he really likes to look up recipes and find out more about cooking techniques he’s never encountered before. Isaac starts making an Instagram account just to show Napoleon’s impeccable plating, and Napo gets quite the following without knowing for a while
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