#sometimes i am overcome with love for Rose and i must draw

[thelostnymphaeum]

All this while I have been a weaver without wool, a ship without the sea. Yet now look where I sail.

Entry: 011 // Literature // Title: Circe Author: Madeline Miller Year: 2018

___

Circe, meaning Hawk, her mother named her for her eyes and her strange voice. I have only ever heard of Circe briefly from the tales that she is a witch but besides that, I know nothing about the lady who turned Odysseus’ men into swine. Being an avid mythology enthusiast, I am always excited to read about these characters although I am quite wary of modern re-telling of these stories, since I tend to dislike those that stray away from the “canon” (although of course, I am well aware that nothing is ever truly canon in mythology). But in my opinion, Madeline Miller and Rick Riordan has so far, done a wonderful job of making these stories known and relevant in the world of today. I love how they are always so well researched and they never stray too far from the well-known versions, for as Virginia Woolf once wrote, fiction must stick to facts, and the truer the facts the better the fiction.

LOVING AND LOSING

“But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. Such a constellation was he to me.”

There have been many men in Circe’s life - Glaucos, Daedalus (her constellation) and most notably, Odysseus. In one of Miller’s interviews, I learned that she wanted Odysseus to play as little role in Circe’s story in the same way that Circe was in Odysseus’. However, I thought it was brilliant and empowering that albeit Circe is powerful and sometimes brutal, she knew how to love a man. Most of society today have warped dispositions about a strong woman, that she must need no man, that she is better off without one. But I believe that a better perspective is that despite being in need of someone else’s love and affection – it does not make you any less of a woman. It is human to long for love and to give it away. It would be foolish to deny that. If anything, I believe that because a woman knows how to love and be selfless, it only makes her stronger…and more beautiful.  Circe was a mirror of that. All these men she has loved and lost only fortified her into the woman that she is.

MOTHERHOOD

“My whole life, I had waited for tragedy to find me. I never doubted that it would, for I had desires and defiance and powers more than others thought I deserved, all the things that draw the thunderstroke. A dozen times grief had scorched, but its fire had never burned through my skin. My madness in those days rose from a new certainty: that at last, I had met the thing the gods could use against me.”

A huge part of what made Circe the woman that she is was her becoming a mother and how it reshaped her entire world. The book narrated her motherhood struggles, internally and externally. The fatal risks she took, the bargains she has made to the gods, the spells she had cast just to prolong his life – these were powers within her that unraveled because she became a mother.

I have been hesitant in writing this post for a while, since I felt that I was in no position to talk about motherhood. Yet as a female, it is one thing that is expected out of us one day, and not only expected, we are anticipated to do a good job. For just like Circe, women who strive for greatness dedicate their lives to learning and working, but have to give it all up once they become a mother. A woman’s dreams suddenly are no longer her own. Her child’s dreams becomes her own and her entire world shifts. She must do a good job, for if not, society will judge her, and women have been vilified excruciatingly for far more superficial reasons than just motherhood.

“For sixteen years, I had been holding up the sky and he had not noticed.”

The hardest power to master is the power of yielding, as Rick Riordan had written. Yielding, I agree, is power – the knowledge and resolution to give in, for many of us would bleed ourselves dry to death for the sake of pride. Heeding is an act of chivalry on its own, most especially if it is done in the name of love. Knowing when to stop. Deciding when it is enough. Circe willingly gave her son to his destiny for she knew that it was what he wanted. That despite the fact that she reared and devoted herself to him for sixteen years, he has grown up and will now course his own life. She fought on for him and against him, all for his protection, yet there finally came a time where she had to let him slip past her arms and let him go. Here is a person that is a part of her soul that she is learning to give away, she even helped him prepare for his departure although it cause her hurt – mothers truly would conquer the world for their children, even if it means setting them free.

MASTERING YOUR CRAFT & LIVING LIFE

“It is mostly will. Will and work.”

This statement for me is reflective of life. Life is about endurance. It is mostly will and work. We might be gifted on certain areas but talent fades away without dedication. Circe honed her skills and mastered her art through “drudgery”; it was not something that came to her naturally. This was her work.

One of my most favorite parts of the book was her diving deep into the ocean to get the tail of Trygon. This was her will. The idea that stuck to me the most was that: it does not even matter if it is possible or not, what counts is the endeavor. She would have never known that she did not have to face death just to win the poison if she did not dare; all that was needed was her brave heart (I must reiterate that for me, this was such a beautiful scene because this is the part where you see the lengths she would have overcome for the life of her son). If it’s any consolation to any weary soul out there who might be reading this, I want to tell you this – if it seems easy, it never is; if it seems difficult, it is always easier than you would expect it to be. Let’s hold on.

“It is not the saying of an oracle or a prophet. He does not mean that it does not hurt. He does not mean that we are not frightened. Only that: we are here. This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what is means to be alive.”

#Circe #Madeline Miller #Greek mythology #Dark academia #Light academia #bookblr

[a-broken-bough]

"It was at this location ten thousand years ago that Shaohao, the Last Emperor of Pandaria, defeated the Sha of Despair and imprisoned it within the land."

The ornate wall scroll hung above a quaint little shrine at the foot of a grand staircase. Incense burned and stung at Mistra's nostrils as she read on, trying her best to keep her eyes diverted from the fire. Her gloved hand fell to a pouch at her belt, and from it she drew an old coin. Absent-mindedly, she thumbed at the square-shaped hole at the center. A "Lesser Charm of Good Fortune" the monk had called it.

She stooped, gently laying the coin alongside an engraved charm, and several of its fellows. The language wasn't one she spoke, but Mistra recognized the type of shrine. It commemorated something. Perhaps the life of a soldier who had fallen in the battle the wall-scroll spoke of? Even if not, it would be best to pay her respects all the same.

It was the least she could do for indulging the temple's hospitality.

With a deep breath, Mistra rose. Her steps were shaky, but she followed the corridor down, and into the grand meditation chamber. The sunlight only barely reached this lowest room in the temple, and it was lit by a series of braziers that could only provide a pale imitation of the radiant morning light above.

The room fully oopened up before her, and Mistra's eyes tracked along the curvature of the back wall. Grand, stone pillars rose from ceiling to floor, and beautiful red and gold tapestries hung above every alcove that surrounded the grand dais.

At the center of it all, stood a giant crane, with feathers that glowed with all the warmth and color of the sunrise above. Chi-Ji. Surrounded by his followers, and finishing up a lesson. A great many of the monks in his flock were Pandaren, but there were people from every nation in Azeroth. All gathered here in search of the celestial's wisdom. Just as she was.

"One step..."

Her voice was barely a ghostly whisper as she took a seat against the back wall, patiently waiting for the last monk to file back upstairs.

When the last student had left, she heard his voice. The Red Crane did not speak aloud, but that voice sounded in her mind. It was soothing, and song-like. With beautiful notes of color. Images and designs that glittered in her mind's eye when she closed them.

"What brings you to my temple, little wanderer?"

"I-" The words caught in Mistra's throat. "I do not know, Master Crane."

"Do you not? Or are you just afraid to give it a voice?"

She swallowed.

"One step at a time, shall we? How about we introduce ourselves first? I'm sure you already know my name, but there's power in a proper introduction. Wouldn't you agree?"

Mistra took a deep breath. She repeated the mantra under her breath.

"My name is Mistra. Mistra Brokenbough," she finished. It felt dishonest, somehow, though it'd been her name for years.

"... and I, am Chi-Ji. It is lovely to meet you, Mistra Brokenbough. Now, surely you didn't make the trek to my temple just to be a tourist?"

The Crane doesn't smile physically, but she heard the smile in his words. Felt the accompanying warmth of mirth as his song swirls inside her mind.

"No," Mistra offered at last. Her brow furrowed, and she droped her gaze to her boots. "I did not. Or, perhaps I did at first, but..."

"You've found the visit enlightening?"

"Yes," she agreed. "Very much so. I read the tale of your Emperor Shaohao, and his battle with the Sha of Despair. I was curious. The masks from the story -- the ones that draw the despair from you, and turn it to something physical. Do they still exist?"

"No longer, I'm afraid. The Sha of Despair was a complicated being -- and the mask was a strange tool for an incredibly complex situation."

Mistra looked up into the Red Crane's eyes, and she could see the sorrow and pity in his gaze.

"... but it can't be the solution to your problem. The Sha amplified the negative emotion in our hearts. It's evil clouded the temple like a malaise from which even I struggled to keep my head above water, but-"

"If I could just-" she interjected. Her voice echoed around the circular room as she grew louder and louder. "If I could just... pull it out here where I know how to deal with it -- the way Emperor Shaohao did for his despair -- I am convinced that I could finally put it to rest for good... because I know how to fight, Master Crane. It is the only thing I'm good for anymore."

To his credit, Chi-Ji was patient. He waited for Mistra to catch her breath, he waited for her to wrangle the last stray tinge of frustration from her face before speaking.

"... but Shaohao didn't put the Sha to rest for good. He simply buried it... and many years later -- when Pandaria was most vulnerable -- it reared it's ugly head once more, and threatened to overwhelm us."

Mistra's brow furrowed, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. Embarrassment at her outburst taking hold.

"The mask does not work in the long term, Mistra Brokenbough. It simply does what all masks do. Cover, and hide."

There was a pause in the Crane's song, and the finality of the silence threatened to overwhelm. Mistra pinched the bridge of her nose, skin hot with embarrassment, and she blinks the sting of tears from her eyes.

"What you wish to do will take time. It will not be easy, and you will rarely know what to do... but you will not be alone in that. Nobody knows how at first, and very few can help themselves. Many of the pilgrims who visit me seem to think that theirs is a struggle that must be overcome by grit, and determination alone... but that isn't how this works. Progress is incremental, Mistra Brokenbough. Yes, sometimes it is an inspired burst... but more often than not, it is the decision to take a single step when you would rather stand still."

She felt a knot forming in her throat as the words echoed. A single step. The Red Crane used her own words. A shuddering breath tore free from her lips in a rush, and with it the words:

"... but what am I supposed to do when it's hard?"

"Remember that the sun will rise again tomorrow -- just as it has done every day for all of creation -- and that it will have been the same sun that was above the head every single person that has ever struggled. With problems like, and unlike yours."

The Crane pauses a moment, and Mistra's mind fills with a warm watercolor sunrise when she clenches her eyes shut tight.

"It is okay to have a bad day now and again, Mistra. Some days we sit and conserve our strength for when the sun next rises. Don't let your hurt be the thing that shapes you. Let hope."

... and this time, when the Crane's song left her mind, the tension bled from her shoulders, and -- for the barest moment -- that silence sounded like peace.

#pandaria saga #god I'm sorry this was so fucking long #I've been feeling really inspired so thank you for dragging us out to Pandaria mun-li!

[ami-incants]

Anxiety Grounding Pouch

Pictured: Small cream pouch with a blue anxiety sigil drawn onto it. Green aventurine, chevron amethyst, garnet, sodalite, black tourmaline, a key and a feather.

This pouch was requested by @nagemeikenu​. See under the cut for general information about using charm pouches and their components.

Pouch Colour: 

Black - Grounding Blue - Calming White - Protection Green - Healing

Crystals:

Amethyst - brings emotions back to centre, calming, helps in identifying the root causes behind one’s negative behaviours, habits and emotional patterns that create imbalance (chevron amethyst repels negativity) Green aventurine - calms nervousness and quiets roving thoughts, soothes emotional wounds, inspires optimism Black tourmaline - grounding, purification, cleanses the emotional body of anxiety and negative thoughts, inspires positivity Rose quartz - dissolves sorrows, worries, fears and resentments, replaces with healing, comfort and inner nourishment Amazonite -  soothes trauma, calms the mind, alleviates worry and fear, directs anger and irritability into positive action, increases self-esteem Blue lace agate -  promotes self-acceptance and confidence, encourages the speaking of one's own truth, overcomes negativity and bitterness of the heart, heals anger, fosters love, lends the courage to start over Citrine -  releases anger and negative feelings, deep-seated fears and destructive tendencies, reduces sensitivity to criticism Green fluorite - stabilising, dissolves confusion, gently brings suppressed issues to the surface, increases self-confidence, aids reasoning Black obsidian - grounding, absorbs negativities, particularly aids trauma recovery and lessening compulsive behaviours Sodalite - helps the identifying and verbalising of feelings, discharges anger and negative thoughts, empowers the release of fears, phobias and guilt Labradorite - calms an overactive mind, good when weighted down by responsibility, uplifting stone Garnet - protective, calming, grounding, aids pragmatism, brings courage Chalcedony - eases self-doubt, brings peace, encourages optimism, calms, eases worry, soothes anxiety

Herbs/Spices:

Chamomile/Lavender - Calming/soothing

Charms:

Broom - Brush away negative influences Hammer - Drive away malevolent energies Key - Power, unlocking hidden skills and abilities, locking up unwelcome thoughts Feather - Flying away from negativity and toxic situations. (Can be incorporated into the cleansing/charging of the pouch if you don’t want to damage it inside the pouch.) Personal charms - Any which bring you comfort and calm feelings

Sigil:

Anxiety sigil: I am calm, I am safe, I am in control (blue, black)

I cope well with change (black, blue)

I can do this (orange, red, pink, green)

I am enough (pink, red, green)

When I can’t control it, I let it go (black, blue, green)

I am valued (pink, red)

Spell:

Calming Spell - To be recited in the mind or aloud, while holding amethyst, the crystal that best suits your situation, or the entire pouch. Recite each line as you slowly exhale with your eyes closed, use the slow inhale to check the next line if you need to.

Take these thoughts that bother me Slow the pace, my mind must breathe Let me think, provide a balm Slow the pace, leave me calm

Re-energising Spell - When you feel that special brand of drained that sleep isn’t aiding, cast this in bed for a productive following day. You can use one motivating or event-relevant crystal for the whole spell, or use the following recommended crystals. While reciting the first line, hold amethyst to the centre of your forehead. For the second line, run malachite down both arms, or across a problematic area. Take amazonite for the third line and hold it over your heart. For the last line, place each stone, in the same order, under your pillow (or into a pouch to be placed there) as you say each statement.

Heal, heal, the worries in my mind Heal, heal, this tired flesh of mine Heal, heal, this weary, wary soul Let me sleep, help me heal, make me whole.

Ask box is open for suggestions!

Click here for my Use of Original Content Policy. Under the cut for information on the different elements of charm pouches.

 About Pouches

Pouches can be made of any material, but natural is better. I prefer to use natural cloth as it is easy to carry around, easy to access and I can feel the energies from the crystals through the material, and smell the herbs. Pouches do not need to be professionally made, you can use a simple drawstring bag that you have made yourself, or even use a handkerchief/cloth square secured with a ribbon. If you cannot source a suitable pouch in the desired colour, the protecting energies of white or the grounding energies of black work well for most situations. It is up to you whether you cleanse your pouch and its contents as a whole or as individual components. Due to the multiple ways I use my crystals, I cleanse and charge them regularly so do not feel the need for a full ritual when putting together a pouch. It is not necessary to use an item from each of the suggested categories, go with what feels right to you.

About Crystals

Choose the number of crystals that feels right for you, and is practical for you to carry around. My magic tends to work in odd numbers, particularly 3, 5 and 7. Black stones tend to need cleansing more frequently as they can get clogged up with the negative energies they have absorbed. Smoke and moonlight are easy and safe ways to cleanse. Sunlight can be used but may discolour some crystals. It’s common advice to cleanse crystals in water/moonwater but this can be risky as many crystals may dissolve, rust, discolour or release toxins. I cleanse all of my crystals by storing them with selenite and charge them under the moon/sun. The list of crystals is not exhaustive, use ones that you have which feel right to you.

About Herbs/Spices

Follow your nose and use herbs that you enjoy the smell of. Whole fresh herbs are highly preferable where available. They will be much more potent and can be added to the pouch as they are. If using dried herbs, you may want a smaller pouch/vial to contain them within your charm pouch, to avoid the mess. Some herbs are better ingested, and many are available in teabag form so could be carried within the pouch that way for their scent and for a cup of tea to pick you up if the occasion arises in a location where herbal teas are unlikely to be available. Ginger can be used to give added potency to any spell.

About Charms

Certain objects have particular meanings, but sometimes the most powerful charms are ones personal to us. I have two items of jewellery that I always wear to connect me to three important people in my life, and a third I wear in times of particular need. A personal charm could remind you of a person, place or time. As long as the memory it evokes matches the energy you want in the pouch, it should complement the magic of the other items. Not all charms need to be inside the pouch, you can wear them as you would normally, but if you want to give them a boost you could put them inside the pouch while you cleanse/charge it.

About Sigils

The sigil can be drawn (preferably in the pouch colour) onto paper, stone, wood etc to be placed inside the pouch, or can be marked onto the pouch itself. When drawing the sigil, think about the affirmation and visualise it already achieved. If using candle magic to charge your pouch, the sigil can be carved onto the candle. 

About Spells

Spells do not have to be written down and kept within the pouch. They can be used to charge the pouch, or recited from memory at times of need. If writing it down to serve as a reminder, it is beneficial to write it in the optimum colour for that pouch.

#ami makes charm pouches #ami makes sigils #charm pouch #charm bag #spell on the go #spell in a bag #anxiety charm pouch #anxiety aid #anxiety sigil #calming spell #crystal healing #crystals #anxiety crystals #wicca #pagan

[nekoannie-chan]

The night we met

Pairing: Brock Rumlow X Reader.

Word count: 1674 words.

Summary: Something went wrong in the last mission, something that completely changed his life, Brock doesn’t know how to overcome what happened and continue with his life.

Warnings: Some smut references, death of a character, nothing explicit.

A/N: Flashbacks are in italics.

This is my entry to @imma-new-soul​ ‘s Jay’s 550 followers writing challenge and to @angelinathebook​ ‘s Lena’s 300 followers writing challenge with the song prompt #1 y #5:

“The night we met” by Lord Huron.

Also is my entry to @ugh-supersoldiers‘s Gracey’s 5K Challenge with prompt #6:

“If you could feel what I feel when you walk into the room, everything about ‘us’ would change”.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog. 

I am not the only traveler

Who has not repaid his debt

 Brock was sitting on the floor, he saw the bottle in front of him, and there were also the photos, some of which were taken at your wedding, many of your dates, others of special moments in your relationship.  

He knew that at the time he should not get drunk, he had another obligation that needed him, but it was very difficult to continue with that pain.

It hurts so badly, he didn't know how he was going to get over it, he didn't feel able to continue, he was very angry because everything changed, the plans that you had now made no sense.  

It supposed you will be old together, you were going to have several children and they would see they grow up, but Werner von Strucker came to ruin all the plans, even though they had captured him, it wasn't enough, he wanted revenge, he needed to make he pays for destroying his family, but his teammates wouldn't let him, they claimed he would pay, however, they didn't understand what you meant to him. , nothing would be enough to make up for what had taken away from him.

 I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met

 He could remember in great detail how you knew each other, both had entered as recruits for S.H.I.E.L.D.  

 You used to be away from the rest of the recruits, almost always alone, you seemed very shy, he used to always be chatting with one of his teammates.

That's precisely what caught Brock's eye on you, he didn't understand why someone as beautiful as you wouldn't want to draw attention.  

He felt lucky when he touched them on the same team in the first practice. 

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you introduced yourself by extending your hand. 

"Brock Rumlow," he replied by holding your hand. 

You were a great team, you always gave the best results.

The first time he asked you for a date, he'd never felt so nervous before, for a moment he thought you were going to turn him down, he walked into the office you were working on to invite you in.  

"Do you want to go to the fair?” He invited you. 

"With you?” You asked distractedly.  

“Yes... Well... forget it, never mind,” he retracted.

You blinked a little, you finally understood what Brock had asked you.  

"I'd love to, as long as it's just you and me," you answered.  

He smiled a little, the nerves were gone.  

"Only you and me, Saturday at seven o'clock, I pick you, okay?”  

"Perfect.”

 And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do

 He looked up a little more, in a chair, was the first stuffed animal he had given you, the face you had put in made it worthwhile, it had been a successful first date.

 "Do you want some of those stuffed animals?" he asked when you walked past one of the stands.   

"Do you know how to play it? I'm too bad for those games," you said.  

You stopped in front of the post and paid.  

"Which stuffed animal do you want?" he questioned.  

"That dog," you pointed out.  

Never before had he felt so pressured to win a prize, he played and won it, he immediately gave it to you, you looked like a little girl. 

"Thank you, you're very skillful," you thanked him.

You kissed him, you barely grazed his lips, but that was enough for him.

 And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you

 Your kisses, he was going to miss them, your body, your caresses, everything from you.

 He needed to know if you two were in a relationship to know how to behave, if it was just an adventure, would set aside your feelings. 

"So what are we?” He asked.  

"Aren't we in a relationship? I thought that...” 

"We've never talked about it before..."Then I have to assume we're nothing or we can be in a relationship if that's what you want,” you figured.

He kissed you.

 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

 He felt it was all his fault what happened, he must have insisted that you stay at the Compound with Wanda that day, if he could return the time, he would prevent you from going on a mission. 

 You were lying in bed after making love, you had your face hidden in his chest, while he hugged you with one arm and with the other hand caressed your hair.  

"Marry me," he said suddenly. 

"Hmm?”   

You raised your face, you weren't sure what you heard. 

"I know it's not the most romantic way, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he continued.  

You smiled, you passed a finger over his chest. 

"Are you sure? I can be very unbearable," you answered.

“If you could feel what I feel when you walk into the room, everything about ‘us’ would change.”

You bit your lip, you knew he couldn't stand the intrigue. 

"I don't think you're very convinced.” 

 "I am more than ever, do you want to be my wife?" he asked again.  

"Yes, but only if you give me my engagement ring," you answered, laughing.

"I'll buy you the one you like the most," he promised. 

He kissed you and you made love again.

 I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met

 He stroked his wedding ring with one finger, what was he gonna do now?

He saw your wedding photo, it was one of the happiest days of his life when he started thinking that he should do things right.  

He took the picture, for him, you had been the most beautiful bride in the world in that dress.  

Sometimes you used to dance to the song that had been your waltz at your wedding.

 You were married for four months when he decided to tell you the truth.

 "I have something to confess to you," he said out of nowhere.  

You looked at him with doubt, even though you kept muddying the jam on the bread you were having for breakfast.  

"Are you cheat on me?" you questioned trying to stay calm. 

"What? No! I couldn't do that to you.”  

"Ah... then it can't be worse,” you answered calmer. 

 "I'm HYDRA," he finally said.  

You dropped the bread out of your hand. 

 "What? Oh... Brock...”  

What were you supposed to do? You never suspected he was the enemy.

"If you ask me I'm going to confess everything to Fury, I don't want to lose you, first listen to me, there's a good reason for this...

 You had heard and supported it, in the end as promised he confessed everything to Fury and even helped dismantle the organization enemies, yet many enemies had been gained. 

When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears

 When you announced that you were pregnant, he immediately prevented her from going on more missions, he didn't plan on taking any chances, finally, he was having the family, he had always wanted.

One night you got up when you heard noises, they came from what would be the baby's room, when you walked in you saw Brock opening boxes with the furniture that would be in the room.  

"Brock, isn't it very fast yet, I mean, I'm only three months old," you asked. 

He turned to see you, he didn't think he was making so much noise.   

"Everything must be ready by the time the baby gets here," he replied.

 And when the little girl was born, he didn't care if they saw him crying, it was promised that he would protect his daughter from any danger.  

Tears fell again when he remembers when the doctors told him that you were dead.

 When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

 “Brock…”

It hurts a lot, he crouched down to check your wounds. 

“Y/N... wait... help is on the way," he said. 

"I don't think...”

”Shh... everything will be fine, they're on their way," he repeated.  

He was trying to stop the blood loss, but you'd already lost too much. 

"I love you, tell our daughter that I love her too, please take care of her, take care of her, please, I’m sorry….” 

He tried to keep you from talking to keep you from running out of energy. 

The wait in the hospital had become eternal, as soon as he saw the doctor immediately rose.  

"I'm sorry, they didn't make it," they informed him. 

 "Did they make it?" he asked.  

The information was like a bucket of cold water.

 I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met

 You were three weeks pregnant, he couldn't help wondering why you hadn't told him yet, what he didn't know was that you were going to tell him the night that you came back from the mission.  

He wiped away tears when he heard the door open.  

"Daddy?" the little girl came into the room.  

"Hey princess," he replied by opening his arms to get him closer. 

The girl ran to hug him.

"Sorry, she got away," Wanda apologized coming in.  

Brock beckoned her that he was fine.  

"Mommy doesn't love me anymore?” The little girl suddenly asked.

"What? Why do you say that?” Brock questioned.  

He had asked not to tell him anything that had happened, he wanted to explain it to him himself.

"She didn't come back," she replied.  

"Your mommy loves you, do you remember Lucky?”  

"Mom's dog? Yes, he liked me to give him my candies.”  

"Mom and Lucky are together," Brock explained.  

"In heaven?”  

"Yes, from there they're going to take care of us," he continued.  

"Why didn't she say goodbye? We're not going to the park on Saturday anymore?" the girls asked distraughtly.

Brock sighed, it was harder than he had thought, and he had been promised that all three would go on the weekend.  

"In a little while we'll say goodbye to your mommy, don't worry, you and I are going to the park," he told her.  

He got up and carried her, it was time to go to your funeral, it was going to be very difficult, he kept feeling that his world was collapsed, he would give everything to go back to the day he met you and avoid making all the mistakes, he would be able to do anything as long as you were alive.  

However, he couldn't let himself be beaten, his daughter needed him.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met 

#Jays550 #lenas300challenge #graceys 5k challenge #brock rumlow #brock rumlow x reader #brock fanfic #brock rumlow fanfic #brockrumlow #brockrumlow x reader #brockrumlow x y/n #brock rumlow x you #brock rumlow x t/n #mcu brock rumlow #rumlow x reader #rumlow x you #crossbones

[raywritesthings]

In the Dead of Night 6/9

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Nyssa al Ghul, Ra’s al Ghul Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen (Eventual) Summary: Oliver Queen returns to Starling City after five years away, three years after Sara Lance was found and rescued by her mother. More troubling to him is Laurel’s abrupt and unexplained absence from the city for the same length of time that her sister’s been home. Three years into the past, Dinah Lance makes a terrible choice. Warning: Canon-Typical Violence/Death in This Chapter *Can be read on my AO3 or FFN (links to both accounts are in bio)*

Three years ago

Their stay at Nanda Parbat was brief. It was less than a week before they were sent out again, this time to the territory surrounding Kabul. Instead of a hotel, it seemed the League had their own place members operated out of when in the area. Laurel wondered whose home this used to be.

“Your target is a warlord. He has contributed to the terrible instability in this region, and there is the blood of countless on his hands. The Westerners will never bring him to their International Court because of the aid he sometimes gives the American troops. But he also supplies weapons to the insurgents — he profits off the fighting. He is better dead than allowed to continue.”

Laurel nodded. She had a feeling Nyssa was trying to assuage her guilt in telling her all of this more than anything. Her friend took off the quiver slung over her back and held it out to her.

“A distance weapon would be best in this case.”

Easier, was what she didn’t say. But they both knew it. Laurel took the quiver and bow and silently left the safe house.

The warlord lived in a compound intensely guarded. She was in comparatively lighter attire than usual to blend in, but the sweat ran down her forehead as she made slow, incremental progress further past each defense, knowing that one false move would end everything. For her, and for her city.

Her target’s voice could be heard from an open window. He was sitting in a chair and speaking, whether to someone in the room or over the phone she could not tell. Laurel readied her stance and her shot.

It was easy. Easy in the sense that she had practiced the motions a thousand times. Draw back, hold, and release.

The arrow sailed true, straight through the window and into the warlord’s chest. Laurel stood frozen for a moment, eyes locked on his form as it seized and slumped forward, the life leaving him as suddenly as if she had just cut a string.

It was a crucial moment.

A spray of bullets shattered the wall that she had been hiding behind while a second grazed just over her head. Laurel ducked and sprinted, turning mid-run to fire back at her pursuers to ward them off.

She vaulted the gate of the compound with her staff and kept running long after the surrounding land became more of a desert. She didn’t stop, because stopping would mean thinking. Thinking about what had happened, about the dead man back in the compound that she had killed—

As soon as she cleared the door of the safe house, the adrenaline seemed to leave her in an instant, and the reality of what she’d done at last caught up to her. She fell to a knee but staggered back up again as bile rose up in her throat.

Laurel shut herself in the bathroom and emptied the entire contents of her stomach into the toilet, then continued to retch. Her throat burned, but her insides continued to roil.

Cool hands combed through her hair, pulling it back from her face, and Laurel was finally able to take a few gasping breaths. Her head dropped to rest on the seat as her limbs trembled, too exhausted to rise on her own.

Nyssa wiped the cold sweat away with a cloth, then lifted Laurel from the bathroom floor. She got her into the bed, then climbed right in after her.

“Wha—”

Nyssa shushed her and continued to comb her fingers through Laurel’s hair. It was a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long, and she found herself relaxing into it. If she shut her eyes, she could imagine she was safe at home with a stomach bug that had her feeling this sick and disgusted with herself. That the man wasn’t dead on the floor where she’d left him.

“Laurel.”

She turned around to face Nyssa. It was the first time in months she had heard her own name.

“I have been cold to you. Truthfully, I found my father’s deal with your mother to be repulsive and wished to have no part in it.”

“That makes two of us,” she croaked.

Nyssa’s lips twitched just the slightest bit. “I always knew this first assassination would be difficult for you. Many members experience this despite choosing the ways of the League. You will recover just as they have.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Laurel convinced. “That it’ll just get easier. That I’ll just stop caring about the lives I’m taking.”

Her friend was quiet for some time. “When I take my father’s place as the Head of the League of Assassins, my first act as Ra’s will be to release you of your obligation to us. I promise you that.”

“Is that even possible?”

“There is one such case. Taer Saher.”

Laurel thought back over her lessons. “The Magician?”

“Yes. He was a Westerner like yourself who trained with us for two years. He was favored by Ra’s, and my father chose to release him from the League upon the completion of his training. With this precedent, none would question my decision to release you as well.”

“Nyssa…” Laurel felt overcome. Her eyes trailed over the woman’s face, drifting down to her lips. The moment seemed suspended in the air for an age as they watched each other, neither making a move.

Then Nyssa turned away. “I’m sorry, Laurel.”

Her eyes squeezed shut, though they remained dry. It was the second time she heard her own name since being forced into the League. It would also be the last time.

The situation was almost as cruel as the rejection of her family. Nyssa was good and kind despite everything she had been raised on. In another life, she might have fallen in love with her. But it was poisoned by her entrapment in the League. She had not chosen this life, not even out of some kind of desperation the way others seemed to have. She had been sold, hardly better than chattel, and Nyssa either would not or could not see past that.

The next morning, they made a silent trek back to the fortress. When they returned, she was summoned to see Ra’s. She arrived in the chamber just as he had finished robing after climbing out of the sunken pit in the room. She didn’t know much about it except that it was off limits to anyone but Ra’s and the Priestess who sometimes aided in conducting various League ceremonies and rites.

“Nyssa tells me you have performed your duties well, Taer al Aswad. I trust now that you have accepted our mission to eliminate evil in this world.”

“Thank you, Ra’s,” she replied, gritting her teeth as she kneeled on the floor. It was galling to think this man had forced her to give up her home and life to kill for him and still he thought of himself as righteous.

“You will remain in Nanda Parbat for a time to continue your training and to guard the fortress from our enemies.”

She had a feeling she knew why Ra’s kept them on a rotation. If they spent too much time abroad, they might forget to come back to the League. And in her case, he probably wanted to make it as hard as possible to slip away.

When she at last reached her room, she found a black leather jacket laid out on her bed. Picking it up, she thought she caught a faint whiff of the rosemary infusion Nyssa washed her hair with. She shed the outer layers of her uniform and slipped it on, hugging herself and taking a moment to revel in the feel of civilian clothes that were her own to keep.

It had been late winter when they had left for Nanda Parbat. A late Christmas, then.

She scoffed at herself. As if a killer like her deserved one.

---

Present day

Oliver was led into the fortress and through various passages to a large room. A man stood on the raised dais at the far end of the room, with a woman to his right and two steps behind. They were the only two whose heads were uncovered; the others all wore identical uniforms to the Dark Archer’s.

Oliver’s guide stepped forward and knelt before the two on the dais. He spoke in rapid Arabic of which Oliver only understood his own name, and then, at an order, rose to his feet and moved to the side with a number of his fellows.

The man on the dais came down. “Oliver Queen. Welcome to Nanda Parbat. You know who I am?”

This man practically exuded power, but Oliver’s voice remained steady as he answered, “You are Ra’s al Ghul. The Demon.”

“I am the Demon Head. As were those before me. Why have you requested an audience?”

Oliver squared his shoulders. “I’m here to ask you to release a woman from your League. A woman who was brought here against her will three years ago.” It was only through sheer will that he kept the accusation out of his tone. “Her name is Dinah Laurel Lance, and she is someone I care for a great deal. Is she still alive?”

“There is no one by that name who resides in this fortress.”

He’d expected something like that, so Oliver withdrew his wallet and took the old photo from it. He held it out carefully. “Then maybe you know her face.”

Ra’s al Ghul stared the image down, impassive. But the woman by his side stepped forward.

“You are speaking of Taer al Aswad. The Blackbird.”

Even before Ra’s turned to her with a glower, Oliver could guess who this was. “Nyssa. You are not to interfere in this.”

“You granted him an audience. It is not part of tradition to lie.”

“And it is not part of tradition for you to question me.” Ra’s snarled something at her in Arabic, and Nyssa ducked her head, turned and exited the main chamber. Oliver tried not to let his disappointment at that action show; perhaps his only ally was gone.

The Demon Head turned back to face him. “Taer al Aswad is here not by her will, but her mother’s. She was promised to me in exchange for another.”

“I’m aware.”

“Then you must also be aware of the agreement her mother made. Should any of the family of Taer al Aswad attempt to reclaim her, I will consider it an attack on the League itself and strike accordingly.”

“Yes, but I am not Laurel’s family,” Oliver said. He refused to use the name Ra’s had designated to her. She was still Laurel. He had to believe that. “I am acting independently of your bargain with her mother.

“And what action will you take? Residing here in her place?”

It would be the simplest solution in some ways, he supposed. Yet Oliver had a mission to complete back home, and he’d already been away five years instead of fulfilling his father’s wishes. He had his own family to return to. Judging by the man’s tone, he also doubted Ra’s would accept another trade.

“How are challenges to the Demon Head handled in tradition?” Oliver asked instead.

Ra’s smirked. “In tradition? Combat to decide a victor, and who shall be the next Ra’s al Ghul. But you are an outsider. I am not obligated to allow you to try.”

Oliver shook his head. “I’m not leaving without Laurel. So you may as well accept the challenge.”

Ra’s motioned with one hand, and that was all the warning Oliver had before one of the League drew their sword and swung it at him. He dodged and grabbed the man’s shoulders, flipping him over.

Another came to attack and Oliver rolled, coming up to his feet with his knife in hand, which he stabbed his second attacker with.

He took the man’s sword as well for good measure to fight off his first opponent who had gotten back up. In a series of quick blows, he was disarmed, but Oliver reached and twisted the other man’s sword arm until it snapped.

To his credit, the assassin didn’t even cry out, but he dropped to a knee. Oliver wasted no time in snapping his neck to finish the process.

“Is that enough for you?” He demanded to Ra’s. “I will go through your entire League to get to Laurel if I have to, or we can settle this now.”

Before Ra’s could answer, movement near the back of the room caught both their attentions. Nyssa had returned with another League member, and Oliver went still. 

All that could be seen of her were the eyes that peered out of the covering, but he would know their green shade anywhere. They widened at the very sight of him, and it was hard to remember there was anyone else in the room.

Laurel. After so long, at last, there she stood. Nothing like what he remembered, nothing like what he’d have expected first coming home. But it was her.

Oliver took a half-step towards her, her name on his lips, but remembered himself. There could be no real reunion until the matter of her freedom had been settled.

“Taer al Aswad,” Ra’s said. A hint of amusement colored his tone. “This man says he comes to fight for you. He has even challenged me, the Demon Head, to a duel. Do you wish for Mr. Queen to proceed with his plan?”

“No.”

Oliver took a step back, the rejection hitting him like a physical blow. He watched as Laurel moved forward to stand before the dais, kneeling in front of Ra’s. He hated the sight of her submitting to the tyrant who had held her prisoner for so long.

“Ra’s, this man is barely educated and hasn’t the strength to clean his own room, much less fight a duel. If he came here, it was on a dare or as a joke. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

Oliver closed his eyes under the weight of her accusations. He’d known there was little to no chance Laurel would be happy to see him after what he’d done, or think anything but the worst of him. It was only fair that she hated him.

Ra’s next words had him reconsidering what she’d meant, however. “Save your breath defending him from me, Blackbird. He has already killed two of my assassins.”

Laurel looked back at him sharply, her eyes taking in the fallen men and then him. He couldn’t read much beyond shock. If only he could see the rest of her face.

“This is the one and final challenge I will accept for Taer al Aswad,” Ra’s decided. “This matter has grown tedious. Should you fail, Oliver Queen, you forfeit not merely your own life, but hers as well.”

Laurel stood and in the same moment Nyssa stepped forward. “Father—”

“Speak out of turn again, Nyssa, and there will be consequences of a severe sort. I await only Oliver Queen’s answer.”

All eyes were turned on him, and Oliver hesitated. He did not want to put Laurel’s life on the line — but would he ever get this sort of chance again? Would Ra’s even let him leave alive since he had killed two of the League’s own already?

He looked to Laurel, and with just the slightest movement of her eyes and brows, he could tell she was conveying that he run. One of her hands rested over the scabbard hanging to her side.

But that wasn’t the plan. He was done running away from Laurel. It was time he ran to her, wholeheartedly, the way she had once done to a him who had never deserved it.

“The challenge still stands,” he said.

“Very well. We will commence with it here.” In a few short orders, Ra’s had the floor cleared of the two dead assassins and weapons brought over to Oliver for selection. He picked a sword and tested it, raising an eyebrow as Ra’s merely stood there and watched.

“I will take it from you once you have finished with it,” the Demon Head said to his unspoken question. He then disrobed from the waist up, leaving his chest bare. Oliver did likewise when it was indicated that he should.

There was a small gasp from the side of the room where Laurel had been pulled by Nyssa. He couldn’t dwell on it, though. Both of their lives were on the line. It was time to focus.

Oliver was allowed the first move. He went on the offensive, jabbing and striking with the sword, but Ra’s moved quickly and dodged often.

He struck once through the man’s defenses, managing a light cut to his side. Ra’s drew back, blood beading and starting to trickle down from the cut.

“Impressive,” Ra’s said. “There are few who could manage even that.”

And then he moved, this time even faster. Somehow Oliver was now the one on the defensive, using his sword to block more than to attack. He tried circling around his opponent, but an opening he hadn’t realized he’d left allowed Ra’s to kick one leg high into the air and connect with his throat.

He staggered back, struggling for breath, and felt the sword snagged from his slack grasp. In the next moment, pain like fire ripped through his side as he was run through.

Oliver dropped to his knees, blood bubbling up and dripping from his mouth, before landing on his back.

“No!”

Upside-down from his blurred perspective on the ground, he saw Laurel struggle against the hold of Nyssa and another masked League member. If she interfered, it would mean her death. But his defeat meant death for the both of them.

He had to get up. No voice, no person in his mind needed to tell him that. He knew it in his bones. As long as he drew breath, Laurel was not going to die here.

Ra’s was already walking away. Oliver rolled onto his stomach, then pushed up. The man had only a moment to turn before Oliver had thrown his weight at him blindly, the sword being knocked to the floor and out of reach as they fell. They grappled, Ra’s jabbing a fist at the wound in his side and causing a howl of pain.

Rage and the desperate need to survive carried him over as it always had. Oliver slammed his enemy’s head against the stone, then reached bloodied hands and arms around his neck. Ra’s placed his own hands around Oliver’s throat, fingers scratching the skin and drawing blood. But with one last twist—

A sharp crack signified the end. The Demon Head’s lifeless body dropped beneath him, and Oliver staggered up, listing to the side almost immediately.

Two hands caught him before he could fall.

“Oliver!”

Laurel’s eyes. The same beautiful green. He’d never known anything prettier, not in the whole damn world.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I thought- I thought we’d have more time.”

It was his father’s words that had come to him, then, along with the knowledge that he was failing him now. The mission had not been completed.

But maybe it still could be. Laurel was free now, and had always been the better person in his life. If he could trust anyone to see this through, it was her. “Find Diggle…” He coughed and could no longer use his voice.

Laurel’s eyes were the last thing he saw.

#lauriver #laurel x oliver #laurel lance #oliver queen #arrow #green arrow #black canary #my writing #blackbird

[todorokissues]

Haikyuu (and/or BNHA) Matchup Please

INFP, 5’4, 19 year old, bisexual girl. I love writing, baking and drawing, I absolutely love the horror genre for everything. Junji Ito is my god and I will worship him and his detailed art until the day I die. I have crippling lepidopterophobia. I’m super talkative but as soon as someone looks like they’re disinterested, bored or not listening I end up creating an awkward silence because I don’t want to fill the dead air with my own voice (it makes me feel egotistical) I get super anxious around people and have a habit of scratching my skin until I’m bleeding when I’m stressed or anxious. I now have porcelain skin with a bizarre purple/blue tint to it (it used to beige rose), I have grey-blue eyes with a single brown fleck in each eye and jet black curly rib length hair. I have an Alice in Wonderland tattoo on my right thigh. I’m super self conscious about my stretch marks and weight and sometimes have a mental breakdown if someone brings it up. I love to draw body horror and I am obsessed with isekai manhwa. I have a fascination for the human brain and would love to pick the brains of serial killers and other criminals. I’m going to study to become a forensic pathologist in Japan before moving over to the US. My favourite thing in the entire world is mango cheesecake. I have a massive sweet tooth that’s so bad that my mouth is full of cavities. I’m a born and raised 5th generation Australian. My favourite song currently is 7 rings covered by Our Last Night. I have the absolute worst taste in men and human beings in general. I have to rely on my family and close friends to pick the people in my life for me. It’s hard for me to trust people because of my traumatic past relationship experience. When I have a problem with someone or something I sort of let it build until I snap and unleash my frustration on the nearest person (but I’ve been working on that.) I haven’t been in a relationship since I graduated highschool. I need someone that has the patience to work through my trust issues with me and doesn’t mind if I go from being super clingy to needing alone time to rejuvenate. Anyone that’s patient, kind and understanding will be my perfect partner. Must adore both cats and doggos. I’m terrified of confrontation and have a habit of wanting to crawl into a hole and shut myself off for a while.

Hinata Shoyo.

• He would be interested in your hobbies, although hearing you talk about brains would surely return his stomach.

• A cinnamon roll™ but hurt her babe and you’re probably dead.

• He would be super protective with you.

• Hours and hours talking about any topic you both can think.

• When he knows about your insecurities he probably start telling you what he loves about you, he would be constant until he finally put an end to each insecurity.

Kirishima Eijirou.

• He would be super patient and respectful because of your past relationship experiences.

• “wow babe this is so manly.”

• “I’m a girl.”

• He would love to hear you talk for hours.

• But he surely interrupt you to tell you that you look so pretty.

• Being around bakugou he will learning how to deal with you when your problems overcome you.

• Also he would try that you tell him your problems before they overcame you.

#bnha matchup #haikyuu matchups #bnha requests #haikyuu requests #anime matchup #anime request #submission #bnha x reader #haikyuu x reader

[wisdomrays]

Not Giving in to Heedlessness and Familiarity in Our Supplications

QUESTION: What are your recommendations for breaking the dullness wrought by familiarity in our supplications to God?

ANSWER: It is very important for a person to raise their hands in supplication with a consciousness of being in the Divine presence, to pronounce the words consciously, and to refrain from an attitude of engaging in worthless amusements.

The Messenger of God warned about the fact that supplications made in a heedless fashion are not acceptable in the sight of God Almighty by stating, “God does not respond to the supplication of a heart that is heedless and occupied by play.” In this respect, in order not to let dullness brought by familiarity take away supplication’s freshness and sweetness, and to not let the words coming out our mouth become worn-out utterances, it is necessary to know well the place and significance of prayer in religion.

Supplication: The marrow of worship

The Pride of Humanity, peace and blessings be upon him, states: “Supplication is the marrow of worship.” Just as the marrow in a backbone is of crucial vitality for the body, its possible dysfunctions can cause a person to become paralyzed and bedridden—and sometimes even to die. In the same way, supplication is like a backbone that makes the relation of servanthood between God and a person stand. It is only through supplication that a person reveals whether he or she is a real servant to God.

Supplication is what we call asking for God beyond the veil of causes. And this is very important in terms of attaining the consciousness of Divine unity in the real sense. Because when one raises their hands in supplication to God, there isn’t any cause between that person and God. Causes are nothing but a veil before the glory and greatness of God Almighty. However, a supplicating person directly knocks on the door of the One of Absolute Glory and Irresistible Might, asks from Him only, and thus begins to soar on the horizons of pure Divine unity.

A believer who supplicates to God fully conscious of being in His presence must take to be sure every word coming out of his mouth has a visa from the heart; he must make each word into a voice from the heart. In other words, he should not let a conflict happen between his heart and his tongue. Whatever the tongue is saying, the heart must contemplate the same meaning. For example, when one is saying, “My God please make me attain your good pleasure,” the rhythm of the heart must be in pace with these words and the heart must begin to beat accordingly. If there is some contradiction between the two, if the heart says something else while the tongue is saying something, then the matter of which one is to be answered remains uncertain. In this respect, a person must avoid acting with dualism and not let the tongue and heart contradict each other.

A person must act conscientiously not only during supplication but also during other acts of worship, too. For example, a person standing in prayer must enter inside that deed with his intention—the true will of the heart—and render that worship a deed of the heart as much as possible. The deeds offered by a person bear a meaning in the sight of God in accordance with how much the conviction and certainty in the person’s heart is expressed.

Faith and supplication

Actually, such depth of consciousness depends on having sound belief in God in the first place, as is the case with every other matter. The depth and quality of a person’s supplication is directly proportional to that person’s faith. As for one who has a problem with believing and who lacks certainty, such a person can never maintain the integrity of their heart and tongue. In this respect, we can say that if a person cannot say the words from the bottom of his heart and cannot experience the excitement of supplication in a heartfelt way, then there is a problem of faith, certainty, and knowledge of God. Moreover, if a person does not care about whirlpools of unbelief, does not feel any disturbance in the face of people’s deviation and rebellion, and does not wish for them to embrace faith to the degree of wishing to raise a home or having a child at least—if that person is not raising his hands in supplication to say, “My God, please open the hearts of all people on earth toward Islam! Here I beg at your door O Lord! Take my soul if necessary, but put faith in people’s hearts please!”—we can say that this person is experiencing a problem of faith. Such a person needs a serious rehabilitation about the essentials of faith.

Actually, all of us need a serious rehabilitation about the essentials of faith. Because, no matter whether we realize it or not, deviation and unbelief that stem from the science and philosophy of our time is seriously corrupting our minds. Each sin that we commit and every doubt that enters our mind is inflicting wounds in our heart and spirit. As sound faith based on verification has completely disappeared, the ties of imitation have also been undone.  In the past, people would see a guide before them, or an opinion leader, follow his lead, and get inside the safe haven of faith by imitation at least; they would find protection. Unfortunately, most people in our time are lacking even such an opportunity.

Actually, if a person listens to oneself, looks at the face of what is taking place around them and then interprets these events correctly, then he or she will feel or sense Him in everything and say, like the poet Cenab Şehabeddin, “You exist O God! You exist, and You exist again! I find You in my mind, imagination, and feelings... You exist!” A person who beholds His Beauty reflected in everything will sometimes run to a tree and kiss it, embrace the grass, touch his face to the earth like an insane person, and sometimes turn to the sun, which is like a condensed manifestation of the Divine Name, An-Nur. And such a person will have full consciousness of God’s omnipresence. They will behave as if seeing Him and act with an awareness of being seen by Him. Only a person who has attained such horizons of certainty in faith will overcome monotony and familiarity while raising hands in supplication, transcend causality, and implore God Almighty with a consciousness of being seen by Him.

The voice of inner excitement and resonance

It is very important to feel being in His presence, and being in submission to and in awe of Him, so that it is as if the supplicant were able to see God or at least know that He sees us. A person must turn to God with a profound concentration and become enraptured while praying and abandon himself.

I would like to draw your attention to a fact that can be counted as an excuse for you once more. Unfortunately we did not see people who offered the prayers properly, who supplicated sincerely, and who turn to God wholeheartedly; neither in Sufi lodges, nor in madrasas, nor in mosques.  We did not have guides to be our pioneers, to broaden our horizons in this respect, and to show us the bright face of the truth by pushing the door open. Each of us remained where we were—as ignorant ones. To express our miserable situation, some scholars, such as Qutb, would question whether we are truly Muslim. But in spite of everything, do not see attaining real faith as too hard a task and as something unattainable.  You first have to turn to Him with suffering. Then you must “see what God Almighty does; whatever He does is goodness.” See how He opens such surprise doors for you.

Then come, and let us rise in the night so that the stiffness inside us will be eliminated, so that servanthood will bring us relief, and so that we can deepen in faith. Let us offer four units of prayer of need, and then say: “My God, I am asking from You to make me reach full consciousness of Your omnipresence. Neither being bestowed the ability to work wonders, saintly graces, neither this, nor that... I do not want anything else. My only wish is to deepen in my relations with You. I am asking for nothing else but becoming oblivious to anything else when I think of You and live as a person imbued with knowledge of You!” While saying that, let us take care that each word that comes out of our mouth bears the stamp of consciousness. Let us ask for this insistently from God at night. One night, two nights, three nights... let us rise and implore God like crazy.

I do not want to ask this with an attitude that implies I am criticizing you. I do not mean to ask, “Is there anyone among you who rose every night for a week for the sake of asking for knowledge of God, love of God, and zeal and enthusiasm on His path, then offered prayers of need?” I hold the opinion that the number of people to reply affirmatively to such a question would not be high. And this shows the importance we give to this issue. But it should not be forgotten that, “If a wisher is serious about that wish and shows the required endeavor, his or her wish will be fulfilled.”

Sometimes, I look at the state of the people in the Masjid al-Haram, Arafat, Muzdalifa, and Mina, and seek this consciousness in them from afar. I look to see whether there are some people who pray to God like crazy and overflow with excitement. If a thousand people there sincerely open their hands in supplication, and lofty considerations rise to God Almighty from a thousand mouths, it is not possible for such a prayer to be turned down. I can even say that my belief on this issue is thus: If some three million people that gather there raised their hands in supplication and said, “O God, please change this world,” the earth beneath their feet would suddenly shift and it would become a different world.

Alas! The Islamic world has never been as miserable and wretched as it is today; it has never been this disintegrated. But it seems that people cannot thoroughly feel how tragic these disasters and this state of misery are. If they did feel it, then they would strive to be saved from it, at least to the extent of supplicating sincerely. As people do not feel this suffering, they do not feel any disturbance by the waves of unbelief around them, either. Therefore, they do not feel a need to resort to a collective prayer.

Even if it is not possible to attain such a heartfelt suffering in an instant, a person must force himself and make a serious effort in this respect. As for praying in a manner that implies we do not care much about whether our wish will be granted or not, it is an expression of insolence and rudeness before God. However, one must virtually be like a beggar while praying, and say with one’s action, “Please grant O God! Take my soul if necessary but please accept my wishes.” A believer must always turn his gaze to high peaks and voice these wishes in a heartfelt fashion, so that God Almighty will respond with His graces. Because the degree of Divine response depends on the degree of the person’s turning to God; we will be blessed with the look of God in the same degree as we turn our looks to His door.

#allah #god #muhammad #prophet #sunnah #hadith #quran #ayat #revert #convert #reminder #religion #dua #slah #pray #prayer #islam #muslim #muslimah #hijab #welcome to islam #how to convert to islam #new muslim #new revert #new convert #help #revert help #convert help #islam help #muslim help

[fyp-psychology]

Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

1. “People empty me. I have to get away to refill.” ~ C. Bukowski

2.“I think a lot, but I don’t say much.”~ Anne Frank

3.“I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

4.“You see things. You keep quiet about them and you understand. “ ~ The Perks of Being a Wallflower

5.“I’m very picky with whom I give my energy to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity.” ~ Dau Voire

6.“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

7.“There is a tremendous difference between alone and lonely. You could be lonely in a group of people. I like being alone. I like eating by myself. I go home at night and just watch a movie or hang out with my dog. I have to exert myself and really say, oh God, I’ve got to see my friends because I’m too content with myself.” ~ Drew Barrymore

8.“Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalizing.” ~ William S. Boroughs

9.“Quiet people have the loudest minds.” Stephen Hawking

10.“In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” ~ Rollo May

11.“What if you love knowledge for its own sake, not necessarily as a blueprint for action? What if you wish there were more, not fewer reflective types in the world.” ~Susan Cain

12.“Please kindly go away, I’m introverting.” ~ Beth Buelow, The Introvert Entrepreneur

13.“A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

14.“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.” ~Susan Cain

15.“Don’t underestimate me because I’m quiet. I know more than I say, think more than I speak and observe more than you know.” ~ Michaela Chung

16.“Introverts crave meaning so party chit-chat feels like sandpaper to our psyche.” ~ Diane Cameron

17.“I am a minimalist. I like saying the most with the least.” ~Bob Newhart

18.“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

19.“The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude.” Rainer Maria Rilke

20.“Introvert conversations are like jazz. Each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

21.“Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind. Be alone—that is the secret of invention: be alone, that is when ideas are born.”~ Nikola Tesla

22.“In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” ~John Mulaney

23.“Stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don’t let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy the depth, don’t force yourself to seek breadth.” ~ Susan Cain

24.”Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make.”- Adam S. McHugh

25.“I want to be alone… with someone else who wants to be alone.” – Dimitri Zaik

26.“Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.” ~Anais Nin

27.“Silence is beautiful, not awkward. The human tendency to be afraid of something beautiful is awkward.” ~Elliot Kay

28.“After an hour or two of being socially on, we introverts need to turn off and recharge … This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression.” Jonathan Rauch

29.“Your solitude will be a support and a home for you, even in the midst of very unfamiliar circumstances, and from it you will find all your paths.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

30.“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” ~Susan Cain

31.“I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.
” ~ Jarod Kintz

32.“The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight, for others, a lamplit desk.” ~ Susan Cain

33.“As a child, I suppose I was not quite normal. My happiest times were when I was left alone in the house on a Saturday.” ~ Charles Bukowski

34.“When you’re an introvert like me and you’ve been lonely for a while, and then you find someone who understands you, you become really attached to them. It’s a real release.” Lana Del Rey

35.“Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge.” ~ Paulo Coelho

36.“I was just confused about why I was feeling overwhelmed all the time and trying to adjust to having people work for me. Surprisingly, I think if you’re known on the Internet, you’re probably an introvert.” ~ Felicia Day

37.“’Come out of your shell’ – that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go and some humans are just the same.” ~ Susan Cain

38.“I don’t have time for superficial friends, I suppose if you’re really lonely you can call a superficial friend, but otherwise, what’s the point? ~ Courtney Cox

39.“I owe everything that I have done to the fact that I am very much at ease being alone.” ~ Marilynne Robinson

40.“Introverts listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror for small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.” ~ Susan Cain

41.“My imagination functions much better when I don’t have to speak to people.” ~ Patricia Highsmith

42.”For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating.” ~ Jonathan Rauch

43.“Beware of those who seek constant crowds; they are nothing alone.” ~Charles Bukowski

44.“I’m self-sufficient. I spend a lot of time on my own and I shut off quite easily. When I communicate, I communicate 900 per cent; then I shut off, which scares people sometimes.” ~ Bjork

45.“Loneliness is failed solitude.” Sherry Turkle

46.A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live. ~ Bertrand Russell

47.“Whatever kind of introvert you are, some people will find you ‘too much’ in some ways and ‘not enough’ in others.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

48.“A wise man once said nothing.” ~ Proverb

49.“In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent.” ~ Criss Jami

50.“When I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost unhearable sound of the roses singing.” ~ Mary Oliver

51.“Most people in politics draw energy from backslapping and shaking hands and all that. I draw energy from discussing ideas.” ~ Al Gore

52.“Solitude matters and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” ~ Susan Cain

53.“I don’t believe anything really revolutionary has ever been invented by committee… I’m going to give you some advice that might be hard to take. That advice is: Work alone… Not on a committee. Not on a team.” ~ Steve Wozniak

54.“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.”~ Susan Cain

55.“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet. ~ Franz Kafka

56.“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” ~ Plato

57.“I was never less alone than when by myself.” ~ Edward Gibbon

58.Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent. ~ Napoleon Hill

59.“Solitude has its own very strange beauty to it.” ~ Liv Tyler

60.“Better to keep quiet and let people think you’re an idiot than speak up and confirm it.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield

61.“I restore myself when I’m alone.” Marilyn Monroe

62.“Introverts dislike small talk, but we are fluent in the language of ideas and dreams.” ~ Michaela Chung

63.“You may think I’m small, but I have a universe inside my mind.” ~Yoko Ono

64.“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.” ~ Susan Cain

65.“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes” C.G. Jung

66.“As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy. The good news is we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

67.“People say things to me like, ‘It’s really cool that you don’t go out and get drunk all the time and go to clubs.’ I appreciate that, but I’m kind of an introverted kind of person just by nature.” ~ Emma Watson

68.“I think I’m a weird combination of deeply introverted and very daring. I can feel both those things working.” ~ Helen Hunt

69.“E-mail is far more convenient than the telephone. As far as I’m concerned, I would throw my phone away if I could get away with it.” ~ Tom Hanks

70.“My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.” Warsan Shire

71.“I really like to stay in my nest and not move. I travel in my mind, and that’s a rigorous state of journeying for me. My body isn’t that interested in moving from place to place.” ~ Bell Hooks

72.“I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

73.“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family.” ~ Susan Cain

74.“I don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

75.“I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” ~Charles Bukowski

76.“Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.” ~ Susan Cain

77.“Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say … they’re just being careful about who they open up to.” Susan Gale

78.“You only know part of me. I am a universe full of secrets.” ~ Lupytha Hermin

79.“A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.” ~ Oscar Wilde

80.“I prefer tongue-tied knowledge to ignorant loquacity.” ~ Margaret Donnano

81.“Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.” ~ Cheryl Strayed

82.“An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn’t interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction. In fact, she knows that the party will leave her feeling more alone and alienated.” ~ Laurie Helgoe

83.“Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering – because you can’t take it in all at once.” ~Audrey Hepburn

84.“The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.” ~ Aldous Huxley

85.“People are always so boring when they band together. You have to be alone to develop all the idiosyncrasies that make a person interesting.” ~ Andy Warhol

86.“Most inventors and engineers I’ve met are like me. They’re shy and they live in their heads. The very best of them are artists. And artists work best alone…” ~ Steve Wozniak

87.“Kindly remove yourself from my personal space. Thanks.” ~ Gemma Correll

88.“Deep inside, she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often even funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all.” ~ Julia Quinn

89.“Sometimes I just shut down and don’t talk to anyone for days. It’s nothing personal.” ~ Sonya Teclai

90.“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps but other people emphasize my loneliness.” ~ Anais Nin

91.“Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking you are boring somebody.” ~Helen Gurley Brown

92.“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” ~ Anne Lamott

93.“Study me as much as you like, you will never know me. For I differ a hundred ways from what you see me to be.” ~ Rumi

94.“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Let me sit here forever with bare things, this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves, myself being myself.” ~ Virginia Wolf, The Waves

95.“What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it like a secret vice!” Anne Morrow Lindbergh

96.“People inspire you, or they drain you — pick them wisely.” ~ Hans F. Hansen

97.“I’m indecisive because I see eight sides to everything.” ~ April Kepne

98.“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

99.“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me. Because I, too, am fluent in silence.”- R. Arnold

100.“Every time we stomp down our introverted nature, we crush part of our soul in the process.” ~ Michaela Chung

#psychology #psych #lit #literature #books #reading #introvert #introverted #Introversion #culture #life #articles #mental health #health #personality #infj #intp

[frmartinshomiliesandreflections]

9th October >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Luke 11:15-26 for Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time: ‘The kingdom of God has overtaken you’.

Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

Gospel (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada)

Luke 11:15-26

The finger of God has overtaken you

When Jesus had cast out a devil, some of the people said, ‘It is through Beelzebul, the prince of devils, that he casts out devils.’ Others asked him, as a test, for a sign from heaven; but, knowing what they were thinking, he said to them, ‘Every kingdom divided against itself is heading for ruin, and a household divided against itself collapses. So too with Satan: if he is divided against himself, how can his kingdom stand? – since you assert that it is through Beelzebul that I cast out devils. Now if it is through Beelzebul that I cast out devils, through whom do your own experts cast them out? Let them be your judges then. But if it is through the finger of God that I cast out devils, then know that the kingdom of God has overtaken you. So long as a strong man fully armed guards his own palace, his goods are undisturbed; but when someone stronger than he is attacks and defeats him, the stronger man takes away all the weapons he relied on and shares out his spoil.

‘He who is not with me is against me; and he who does not gather with me scatters.

‘When an unclean spirit goes out of a man it wanders through waterless country looking for a place to rest, and not finding one it says, “I will go back to the home I came from.” But on arrival, finding it swept and tidied, it then goes off and brings seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and set up house there, so that the man ends up by being worse than he was before.’

Gospel (USA)

Luke 11:15-26

If it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you.

When Jesus had driven out a demon, some of the crowd said: “By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons.” Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven. But he knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand? For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons. If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out? Therefore they will be your judges. But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you. When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe. But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils. Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.

“When an unclean spirit goes out of someone, it roams through arid regions searching for rest but, finding none, it says, ‘I shall return to my home from which I came.’ But upon returning, it finds it swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and brings back seven other spirits more wicked than itself who move in and dwell there, and the last condition of that man is worse than the first.”

Reflections (7)

(i) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

It can be tempting for individuals or groups to demonize others, referring to them even as ‘Satan’. Even the good can sometimes be demonized. Indeed, according to today’s gospel reading, Jesus himself was demonized. His opponents claimed that the power behind his healing ministry was the power of Beelzebul or Satan. Their preoccupation with Satan prevented them from seeing what Jesus calls ‘the finger of God’ in his ministry. Jesus declares to them that it is not the kingdom of Satan but the kingdom of God that has overtaken them. Jesus speaks of himself as the ‘stronger man’ who attacks and defeats the ‘strong man’, namely, Satan. Jesus is reminding all of us that the power of God is stronger than the power of evil. We cannot deny the existence of evil; we are all too well aware of it. Jesus teaches us to pray, ‘Deliver us from evil’. We need to name evil for what it is. Yet, as followers of ‘the stronger man’, Jesus, we must not allow the presence of evil to make us despondent or to immobilize us. The Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus released into the world, is stronger than the spirit of evil. I always found that statement of Saint Paul very encouraging, ‘where sin increased, grace abounded all the more’. That is true of our own personal lives and of the life of our world. The kingdom of God is always overtaking us, even when the darkness of evil and sin seems to be triumphing.

And/Or

(ii) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

In the gospel reading, some people accuse Jesus of being an instrument of Satan. They see the good he does but they attribute it to an evil source. They demonized Jesus. It is a human temptation to demonize other people or even whole groups of people. The Nazis demonized the Jews, and the consequences were horrendous. In reply to the accusation made against him Jesus says in the gospel reading that he does what he does not through the power of Satan but through the finger of God. The healing finger of Jesus was the finger of God but many people failed to recognize that wonderful reality. They were blind to God’s presence in Jesus. We can all suffer from the same blindness to some degree. We fail to see the ways in which God is at work among us. The gospel reading invites us to be alert to the finger of God, which can take very simple and ordinary forms. When people are present to others in ways that are life-giving and healing, there the finger of God is at work. In the words of Jesus in the gospel reading, there the kingdom of God has overtaken us. It is good to be on the look-out for the finger of God at work among us. If we are on the look-out, we are more likely to notice the Lord’s presence, and to give thanks and praise to God for all that God is doing among us.

 And/Or

(iii) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

In this morning’s gospel reading some people put Jesus to the test by asking him for a sign from heaven. They want him to perform some spectacular sign. Yet, they are completely blind to the presence of God in the ministry of Jesus itself. Jesus declares in the gospel reading that it is by the finger of God that he casts our demons from people. God is powerfully at work in his ministry if only people had eyes to see it. There is no need for Jesus to do a spectacular sign. Sometimes we too can be overly fascinated by the unusual when it comes to our relationship with the Lord. We fail to see the ways that the Lord is present among us in and through the goodness and kindness and hospitality of others, in and through the selfless service that people show each other in all kinds of ordinary and simple ways, in and through the various expressions of love that people show one another, in and through people’s quiet prayerfulness. We can miss the deeper dimension of the everyday and the familiar. I think of the poet Joseph Mary Plunkett who wrote, ‘I see his blood upon the rose and in the stars the glory of his eyes’. Nature spoke to him of Christ. The best of human nature and human relationships can speak to us even more powerfully of the Lord.

 And/Or

(iv) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

We all know from our own experience how easy it is to misjudge people. We see someone doing something or not doing something and we draw certain conclusions. We subsequently discover that the conclusions we have drawn were very wide of the mark. Jesus was also misjudged. Some people came to certain conclusions about him which were very far from the truth. We find a particularly dramatic example of that in this morning’s gospel reading. Some came to the conclusion that the power that was at work in Jesus was not the power of God but the power of Satan. It is hard to imagine a greater misjudgement than to call good ‘evil’. Some people were completely closed to all the good that was being done through Jesus. In contrast, Jesus was always open to the good that was present in the lives of others, even when they themselves were not very aware of it. When Peter said to Jesus by the Sea of Galilee, ‘Depart from me, for I am a sinful man’, Jesus replied, ‘Do not be afraid, from now on it is people you will catch’. Jesus was alert to the traces of the Spirit in the lives of others. As his followers, we are called to have the same sensitivity to the traces of the Spirit in the lives of those around us. We are to be more attuned to the presence of goodness in others than to the presence of sin in them.

 And/Or

(v) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

We often speak of people having a jaundiced view of life. They tend to think of the glass as half empty rather than half full. They are quicker to see the negative in a situation than the positive. We find an extreme example of that in this morning’s gospel reading. Some people saw the good that Jesus was doing but concluded that he was doing this good through the power of Satan rather than the power of God. It is hard to imagine a more jaundiced view of someone than that. Rather than recognizing that the kingdom of God, the reign of God, was drawing near in the ministry of Jesus, these people saw his ministry as an expression of Satan’s power. Even Jesus is helpless before such a mindset. To a much smaller degree, we too can be blind to the presence of God’s kingdom among us, the presence of the Lord, the presence of goodness. We don’t always name and celebrate the good, what is of value, sufficiently. The gospel reading this morning calls on us to be alert to what Jesus calls ‘the finger of God’. The finger of God is to be found all around us and, indeed, within us. Jesus was exemplary in being able to recognize the good in situations and in people that was not always apparent to others. We pray that we would possess something of his generous vision.

 And/Or

(vi) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

According to today’s gospel reading, when some people looked at the healing ministry of Jesus, instead of seeing the finger of God, the reign of God at work, they saw the activity of Satan. The gospels suggest that Jesus was completely misunderstood by some. It is hard to imagine a greater misunderstanding that what we find in today’s gospel reading. Yet, he continued to reach out to those who misunderstood him; he worked to get them to see that it was the Holy Spirit and not some evil spirit that was at work in his ministry. Even on the cross, according to Luke, Jesus prayed for those who were executing him as a common criminal or rebel. We can all experience misunderstanding, even if not on the scale that Jesus experienced it. It can sometimes be the price we pay for doing something worthwhile. Jesus remained faithful to his calling and his mission, in spite of the kind of misunderstanding of him that many showed. In similar circumstances, we too need to remain faithful and not lose our nerve. In doing this, the Lord’s Spirit will help us.

 And/Or

(vii) Friday, Twenty Seventh Week in Ordinary Time

It is extraordinary to think that, according to today’s gospel reading, some people thought Jesus’ power to heal and make whole was not from God but from the devil. They were saying that far from being of God, Jesus was of the devil. How could someone who revealed the goodness of God be associated with the prince of devils? The tendency to demonize has reared its head throughout human history. One group demonizes another. Some individual is demonized without foundation. Once someone or some people are demonized, it gives those doing the demonizing a licence to do terrible things to them. Declaring Jesus to be in league with Satan is the most extreme example of such irrational demonizing. In response to this perception of him, Jesus declares that it is the finger of God that is revealed in all he does and that it is the kingdom of God that is breaking out through him. The gospel reading encourages us to look for the signs of the finger of God in the lives of those we might be tempted to demonize in whatever way. The parable of the weeds and the wheat reminds us that there is a mixture of the good and the not so good in each of one of us. Jesus is totally good; Satan is totally evil. The rest of us are somewhere in between. We are called to celebrate the good that is in our lives and in the lives of others. Jesus also calls on us to be more attentive to the plank in our own eye than to the speck of dust in the eye of the other.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

[lowkeyenvy]

The Dragon and the Wolf - Part 2

Synopsis: My take on the events, thoughts, and feelings from Jon and Dany’s point of view leading up to and during boatsex. Author: Lowkeyenvy Characters: Jon Snow x Daenerys Targaryen Words: 2,273 Warnings: eventual nsfw Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. All rights and credits are to HBO and GRRM. Author’s Note: Thank you all SO much for the overwhelming support for the first part of this! You all are amazing and I love this fandom! I’m sorry this second part has been delayed. I went out this afternoon and was out far longer than intended. Tagged: @mytestamentofyouth @catherinestanke @rinsolo28 @noordinarylines @miauczyslava 

If you haven’t read Part 1, Jon’s point of view, you can read that here.

Happy reading! :)

                                               DAENERYS I

It was after what must have been the tenth time she’d looked up toward the door that evening, when she concluded he was not coming. This was a time for war after all, she had reminded herself. His mind was surely preoccupied with strategies surrounding the Northern threat. It was highly likely that he did not even spare a thought of her at this point.  

She fell gently into a chair and stared at a flickering candle in her cabin. She was nearly positive that Jon Snow had wanted to sail together for more alternative motives than just proving that they were allies. Now she wasn’t so sure. He didn’t show for supper or provide any indication that he wasn’t coming. The last time she had seen him was when they stepped foot on the ship early this afternoon. After that, they had gone their separate ways.

Was she out of her mind? Did she imagine these previous encounters in her head? It had been Jon who took her hand first on the ship back from the Wall, it had been Jon who gazed at her constantly when he thought she wasn’t paying attention, and it had been Jon who insisted that they sailed together for White Harbor. That was the last time they’d spoken to each other; when she agreed that they should sail together. She kept analyzing every word and mannerism he had made that morning at the council discussion. She doubted he was thinking of this—or any other encounter he’d had with her for that matter. And he certainly had not been replaying it constantly in his mind as she had.

Dany let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. What kind of madness had she been overcome by? He insisted they sail together yes, but she had been utterly insane to do so! Of course she couldn’t ride Drogon into the North, that would not go over well. But perhaps they should’ve sailed on separate ships. Being here and knowing that he was somewhere on this same ship with her, was driving her mad.

And he didn’t even come to supper! She had waited and waited, but he did not show. Since they stepped on the ship and went their separate ways, she had thought of nothing but seeing him again. Ser Davos and Tryion had suggested they dine without him, but she insisted that they wait. The excitement and adrenaline rush of seeing him had overcome all of her other emotions in that moment. She was certain he would come… that he was just running a little late. Surely, she lost count of how many times she had turned toward the door when her imagination convinced her that she had heard them opening.

But he had not come.

And so, in the hours that followed, Dany’s excitement had fizzled. And with it, her confidence that Jon Snow had felt something more towards her than just an alliance.

Now, after retreating to her cabins for the night, Dany had convinced herself that this entire affair was an utter fiasco that she had imagined in her head. She was right, Jon Snow’s not in love with me.

She folded her arms across her chest and focused in on the flickering candle once more. And I’m not in love with Jon Snow. Dany’s stomach instantly did a little flip at the thought.

The mere thought of him sent her emotions into a frenzy. The pair had spent a great amount of time in one another’s company and she’d grown used to him. When they weren’t discussing the Northern threat or the Southern one, they had passed the time talking to each other. About anything and everything. For Dany, Jon was the most fascinating person she had ever met. His life was entirely different to anything she had ever expected from him.

From being the bastard of Winterfell, to a member of the Night’s Watch, to Lord Commander, to King in the North, Dany took in every aspect of it. Not to mention, he was a remarkable leader, strong, passionate and handsome. Dany was in complete awe of him.

Dany could not help but to feel a heat creep slowly up her neck at the thought of the first time she’d felt something stir deep inside her due to Jon Snow. Back at the caves at Dragonstone, Jon had shown her the dragonglass. But it was when he’d placed his hand overtop of her own to guide her in the direction of the drawings of the white walkers, that she’d first felt something for the Northern king. They were in such close proximity, they were alone, they…

A soft tapping sound at the door stirred her from her thoughts.

Without warning, Dany’s heart quickened at a rapid pace. She could hear the echo of it’s thumping in her ears as she rose to her feet. She smoothed her dress out with both of her hands and sat up taller, her shoulders straight. “Come in.”

The door opened, revealing Missandei.

Dany felt her shoulders instantly drop and every last bit of hope drain from her.

Missandei bowed once and murmured a “your grace,” but Dany hardly noticed. She clenched her hand into a fist, placing it against her lips, and turned her head to look away from her. Frustration consumed her instantly.

“You have been alone in here for quite some time this evening, your grace,” Missandei said softly. Dany could tell she was trying to tread lightly.

“I’m tired, that’s all,” Dany replied absently, not even glancing up at her.

Missandei stood opposite of her, “shall I draw you a bath?”

Dany shook her head.

“Your grace, forgive me, but is something wrong? You have been acting different lately.” Missandei said, her eyes full of concern.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dany told her, while still refusing to meet her eye.

“Yes you do,” Missandei replied stubbornly, “You are not yourself.”

Dany finally raised her eyes to look at her. She could see the concern written all over Missandei’s face. “My friend, you imagine this. I am fine.”

Missandei studied Dany’s face. She was not at all behaving like she usually did. Dany was strong. She was usually so honest and sure of herself. She wore her heart on her sleeve and was never afraid to express her thoughts, especially with Missandei. The pair had always been open with each other. Dany was the closest thing that Missandei had ever known to family. For Dany’s mind had to be preoccupied, she looked so conflicted as of late… it had to have been—

“Your grace… you would tell me if you had developed feelings for someone, would you not?”

A small blush graced Dany’s cheeks as she looked down once more. Missandei had known the Dragon Queen for quite some time now and she had never once witnessed her blush. It was a small one indeed, but it did not go unnoticed.

“Would your strange behavior have anything to do with Lord Snow?” Again, Missandei treaded lightly. She knew that Dany had been infatuated with him, but the two had never actually had the chance to discuss him in private or her Queen’s feelings for him.

Dany didn’t respond, instead, she surprisingly offered a small—almost saddened, smile.

Feeling as if she had pried enough for one evening, Missandei bowed once more, “Forgive me, your grace. It is not my place to ask such questions. I’ll leave you to get some rest.”

As she turned to leave, she stopped suddenly when Dany spoke softly, “Missandei… do you believing in such a thing as love at first sight?”

Daenerys Targaryen was indeed a strange girl at times. To anyone who did not know her, she appeared to be made of steel. Nothing could touch her, nothing could faze her. But Missandei, and the few others who were close to her knew that really, she was just as delicate… and as breakable, as anyone else.

Missandei thought for a moment, thinking of how to answer the unexpected question. “I would actually rather hope that it did not exist.”

Dany’s eyes shot up to meet hers suddenly. That was not the answer she was expecting. She furrowed her brows in confusion, “How so?”

I mean to say, why would anyone want a love like that to exist? It’s such an empty and meaningless love. A type of love that is based on value for the person, by their looks alone. A connection could be felt, of course… but not love.” Missandei paused and thought of her own love. She did not love Greyworm at first sight. She grew to love him, due to who he was as a person. “How could anyone truly fall in love with a stranger? You know nothing of their heart.”

Dany pondered this. She didn’t love Jon Snow at first sight. She actually disliked him. She did grow to like him as an ally, but it was based on pure alliance, not love. Even in the caves at Dragonstone, she did feel a deep connection and stir of feelings towards Jon, but she still didn’t call it love. No—it wasn’t until the day they had discussed Eastwatch and their plans to capture a wight that Dany began to feel more strongly towards him.

The freefolk will never follow Ser Jorah. They won’t have to. The words sometimes echoed in her mind when she least expected them. In that moment, Dany had feared for him. She had feared losing him. And she almost had. Leaving him behind was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do. She thought for sure she was leaving him for dead. She had swore to herself while waiting for him at the Wall that she would never forgive herself. For she would have lost not only Viserion, but Jon as well.

But Jon had returned and the relief she felt was immeasurable. She stayed by his side for days, waiting for him to awaken. When he finally had, he had called her “Dany.” Something that tugged at her heart strings, though she would never admit it. Not only that, he had called her “My Queen.”

Then just days earlier at the Dragonpit, he remained loyal to her, no matter the cost. Jon had looked so distressed when Cersei put him on the spot. But still, he did not back down. “I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of house Targaryen.”

And later when she finally had a moment alone with him, they’d discuss the dragons that had been locked away in the pit. How this act was the beginning of the end for her family. Without dragons, the Targaryens weren’t extraordinary, they were just like everyone else. Dany truly believed this. Without her dragons, there would be nothing special about her. She would be just like everyone else. “You’re not like everyone else.”

Somewhere along the line, she wasn’t exactly sure when, there were so many memories at this point, but she fell in love with Jon Snow.

Dany placed her hand over her heart and drew in a deep breath and exhaled, finally realizing it for the first time. A smile danced across her lips.

She was in love with Jon Snow.

“I should bid you goodnight, your grace,” Missandei said. Dany looked up to her and was met with a knowing smile. She gave her a small nod and smiled in return.

Quietly, Missandei exited the room.

The moment she was gone, Dany rose to her feet. Her hands were shaking as she began to pace the room back and forth. She had to see Jon. Even if he didn’t feel the same, she had to know. The thoughts of loss confidence and conflicted thoughts had all evaporated into thin air.

She smoothed out her dress with her hands a few more times—a nervous habit.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would talk to him alone. She would ask him what his intentions are with her. She wanted to know why he insisted they sail together. It couldn’t be just for show. It couldn’t. It was settled. She would confront him tomorrow.

Three stiff knocks at the door halted her pacing. Slightly confused, she looked to the direction of the door. Did Missandei return? No, she wouldn’t have knocked that loud. Perhaps it was Tryion. But what was he doing, visiting her at this hour?

Dany approached the door and placed her hand on the knob. She hesitated ever so slightly, but didn’t allow herself to linger. In one swift motion, she turned it and threw the door open.

Her eyes were lowered, expecting to meet the gaze of Tryion. Instead, her eyes flickered up instantly to meet dark brown ones that belonged to Jon Snow.

She parted her lips slightly as if she were going to say something, but closed them once more.

Holding his gaze, the pair watched each other for a moment, until she lightly pushed the door open further, inviting him in. She watched him step forward and a small smile almost dared to appear across her lips.

Once inside, he stood beside her, his eyes never leaving hers, as he gently closed the door.

They stood there in silence once more for a mere second. Dany didn’t know if she should say something or wait for him to, but she quickly had her answer.

Jon took hold of her face so suddenly and when he leaned in,  and their lips finally crashed together in a passionate kiss.

#jonerys #jonerysfics #game of thrones #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #the dragon and the wolf #jon x dany #jon x daenerys #dailyiceandfire #jonerysonline #jonerys fics #fanfic #lowkeyenvy

[libralita]

Truths and Roses have Thorns About Them | Chapter 7

Beginning | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: The Marchen Tavern draws in many strange characters from all across Angielle and beyond. While it may bring wonder and mystery to those who stop, it does make keeping staff members a challenge. However, Fella Treslyn is up to the task of being the Marchen’s new cook. But is really ready to deal with all the antics it has to offer?

Fella was not daft. She just did very risky things sometimes. She informed Miss Karma that she was going out that night just to be safe but…she was going to try and meet Klaude again. It had been so long since she’d last seen him. She wanted to talk to him. To get to know him.

She had one cupcake left, he deserved at least something for the number of times he had saved her.

“Fella, sometimes you are too smart for your own good and sometimes you baffle me as to what you think you’re doing.”

Fella blushed at hearing Klaude’s voice and quickly stood up. “I-I’m sorry, I just wanted to meet you…again. We really should have a meeting place.”

“You wanted to meet me?” Fella reached into her bag and carefully took out a small box. Klaude walked over to her. “What is this?”

“It’s for you. To thank you for all that you’ve done for me.” She said, still holding it out and feeling increasingly stupid. The weight everything going on these past few days was starting to catch up with her. Klaude gently took the box from her hands. “It’s uh…I actually made them for my friend because she wasn’t feeling well.” She tried to smile and make a joke but her voice cracked. “Because that’s all I know how to do. Make food.”

“Fella…” he said softly.

“This is very unfair, Swordsman. You get to see me cry twice.” She said, in a futile attempt to make a joke, feeling the tears well up.

“A beautiful girl such as yourself should never weep.” He said gently cupping her face in his hands.

Fella let out a laugh mixed with a sob. “Just because you make me flustered doesn’t mean I won’t stop.”

“It was worth a try.” He said, gently guiding her to sit down and then sat next to her. “Please…tell me why you’re so upset.”

“As I said, I am quite useless…” She said and then shook her head. What on earth am I doing? “I’m sorry, Klaude. I must look absolutely hysterical. I shouldn’t have done this.”

She tried to get up but he took her hand. “No, I want to know why you are so upset and why you think such a ridiculous thing.”

She wiped at her eyes with her hand but Klaude places a handkerchief in hand. “I just cannot do anything. I cannot defend myself so I am constantly needing to be saved by you once the sun goes down. You even got hurt because of me. Then my friend is dealing with his own curse. There is this woman saying she’s his fiancée but she might just be trying to use him for something and I don’t know how to help him. My friend Karma is…” The words tumbled out of her mouth. All the stress that has been piling up erupted as another sob escaped her lips. “Something is wrong with her and she blames me for it. And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“First, fixing other people’s problems is not your job. We must overcome our own curses. Do not blame yourself and don’t let others try to blame you. Second, you are far more than just cooking.” Klaude said Fella felt a thumb slide under her eye to wipe one of her tears away. Normally she’d move away but she didn’t with Klaude. He was just so gentle. “Do you think my sword fighting is an impressive talent?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Why?”

“Well…you use it to protect people.”

“And you have a talent. I envy you. You brought a liveliness to the Marchen that I had not seen before. You put that joy and passion into everything that you do and it makes others happy.”

“I’d like to point out that saving me from ill-intent men makes me happy,” Fella said, chuckling her crying was stopping.

Klaude chuckled. “Yes, I am both glad that I can protect and…” he leaned toward her and for her heart fluttered when she thought he was going to press his lips to hers. Instead, he moved upward and kissed her forehead. “And that I can make you happy, Fella.”

Fella blinked as he moved away from her and then her face became extremely hot. Fella quickly covered her face with her hands. She may have teased Garlan for being embarrassed but being honest with herself…she was just as bad. If not worse.

Klaude gave another chuckle and gently moved her hands away. “Do not sell yourself as just merely good cooking.” He then made an amused noise and sighed. “There is a man at the Marchen—I  believe you know him—Rumpel. He is the most relentless flirt. While I may find it disagreeable, I cannot deny that there is a value to his ability to make women smile. You have a similar ability. Though a far better one, in my opinion. You are kind to every person you meet and always try to make them laugh.”

Fella’s face had cooled down and she turned back to Klaude. “Who…Klaude, who are you?”

“I…” Klaude then stood up. “I apologize but I have to go. I need to finish my patrol duties. Can you get back the Marchen safely?”

“Yes but Klaude—” However he was already off. “Can we meet again here?!” She called.

“I will check every night for you!” He called back, his voice sounding strange. However, Fella was left standing alone.

~

“Klaude?” Fella had found Garlan at the back of the Marchen, sharpening his sword. “Sorry, Fella, I’ve never heard anyone with that name.”

“He said that he does patrols and he handles a sword.”

Garlan cleared his throat, there was the sound of metal clanking. “It would be easier if I had a physical description of him…but I’ll ask Jurien if she knows anyone.”

“Thank you, Garlan.” She said.

“Fella!” Dion’s voice called and he came towards them. “Ready to go?”

“Going somewhere?” Garlan asked.

“I am finally going to explore that forest,” Fella said, excitedly.

“I can’t believe I’m using my last day off to take you into the forest. You have eaten quite a few those up.” Dion said, but it was teasing. Fella hummed innocently.

“You two be careful, there are dangerous animals and it can be easy to get lost,” Garlan warned. Dion promised that they would stay on the path he knew and would be back before sundown. They began walking, Fella lightly held onto his arm but enjoyed the warm day.

They spoke a little but mostly enjoying being outdoors. Though an idea wormed its way into Fella’s mind. What if I asked Dion to help me figure out who Klaude was? She turned that idea around in her brain like she was holding a stone to feel the shape of it. No… It felt like too much of a violation of Klaude’s privacy. For whatever reason, he wanted to keep who he was a secret from her. It felt…wrong to her to try and invade that. Perhaps she shouldn’t have asked Garlan about Klaude.

“Ophella?”

“Huh?”

Dion chuckled. “You’re still the spacey kiddo.”

“Bah.” She said with a snort.

“How is your relationship with Miss Karma?” He asked.

“Oh, we worked things out,” Fella said and Miss Karma had been better these last few days. They had gone back to going out. Though she seemed a little distant every now and again. Nothing like before had happened again. The cousins spoke a little more before they reached a hill that apparently overlooked part of the town. Fella just enjoyed the cool breeze. “I need to explore this more. Maybe I will get Miss Karma to take me.”

“She does not seem the outdoorsy type.”

“Do you know much about her?” Fella asked.

Dion chuckled. “No, all I know that she hates being flirted with.”

“Please don’t tell me you tried to flirt with her.”

“And live to tell the tale?” Dion asked chuckling. “No, I was already with Julie at the time. She had never really spoken with me and me to her.”

Fella found that a bit strange. Both of them in Fella’s mind would click. They were both fairly open people. Dion was pretty relaxed so Fella doubted he would get frustrated with her antics. Miss Karma did not seem to close to anyone else at the Marchen besides Fella. Maybe Waltz. Sure, Miss Karma was a kind woman who was pleasant to people but she kept most at arm’s length. How strange.

Fella shook her head as they walked back. “The path was pretty clear.”

“Fella, you’ll get hurt.”

“Just a straight line?”

Dion gave a resigned sigh and then she started running. It was only on a slight incline so she did not pick up too much speed and the path was kept pretty clear this close to the Marchen. She loved running. It was better when she wasn’t being chased by crazy women.

The only thing she did not plan for was ending. At some point, she tripped over something and tried to right herself but she had too much momentum and ended up falling, using her hands to break her fall.

“Fella!” It wasn’t Dion’s voice but Rumpel’s worried tone. He came running over and bent down next to her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Let me see your arms.”

Fella giggled. “I’m fine.”

“You fell.” He said gently taking her hands. “Aren’t you in pain?”

“Kind of.” Fella shrugged still grinning. “It’ll wear off, don’t worry Rumpel.”

She heard Dion coming back down from the path. “Sir, what happened to Fella?”

Fella a brief flash of annoyance. “I said I was fine,” Fella said, standing up. “I just wanted to go for a run and I tripped.”

Fella crossed her arms and ignored the slight burning she felt. She was a little sore but just it was just a few scrapes. “Don’t be so pouty,” Dion said, patting her head.

Fella huffed and moved back into the Marchen.

“Fella.” Dion called and stopped her before she could get much further. “Don’t be so defensive. You made that guy look like a wounded puppy.”

Fella stopped and sighed. “I’ll talk to him…" She then thought about an idea. "Actually Dion could I talk to you for a minute before you leave?”

Dion took her to a private area and she said. “Could you go into the market and ask around about a doctor? One that might have had a fiancée named Bria.”

“I could go ask around on my way back,” Dion said.

“Thanks.” She said, hugging him, and then she was aimed at the direction that Rumpel was. He was still outside. “Rumpel?”

She had surprised him and he let out a small yelp. “Fella! I am sorry about that. I shouldn’t have ignored what you were saying.”

“I’m sorry too,” Fella said. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. But I really am fine. I knew there was a chance I could have gotten hurt but I still wanted to run.” She held out her hands. “Nothing but scrapes.”

“You…are a strange one.”

“You have no right to say that when we are at the Marchen.” Rumpel laughed, it was a little bit forced. “How…is Bria?”

He cleared his throat. “I actually have to get going but I will see you around, Fella.”

“Right.” She said and listen to him leave. She almost let out an audible groan. So many secrets! Ugh!

~

Fella went back to meet Klaude again and as he said, he came over. “What happened to your hands?” He said noticing her bandages.

“I was running and fell. Not from anyone! I just...I wanted to run.”

“You seem to fairly good at running.” He said, sitting next to her. “With what happened with the those…women, I was almost struggling to keep up with you.”

Fella was actually waiting for him to have a similar reaction as to Rumple. To question why she had done it and worry about her. But she was glad Klaude didn’t.

“Can I ask you something?” Fella asked.

“Maybe.”

Fella snorted. “Why did you say you were my husband?”

“Heat of the moment?” He suggested in a teasing voice. “Now that you have asked a question I get to ask one.”

“When did that become the rule?”

“Ever since I realized that you are going to keep asking questions so I might as well ask my own,” Klaude said with a chuckle. Fella shook her head in amusement.  “Where are you from?”

“A small countryside town called Bellview, it is about three days away from here by carriage.”

“Are bells your export?”

“Huh?”

“It’s called Bellview. Does your town sell bells?”

“Oh, no it’s because there are fields of these flowers that look like bells,” Fella said and then added. “…Were you making a joke?”

“…”

Fella snorted and gently patted his shoulder. Klaude chuckled and asked, “What did you do there in Bellview?” Nothing. Was her first thought and she stayed quiet. “Fella…?”

“How about…since you told me a story, I tell you one?”

Klaude shifted. “Alright.”

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl..."

"Was she cute?"

Fella nudged him. "She was born too early and was very frail and weak. Her parents watched as she survived the night. And then the next day. Then the next week. However, perhaps a witch cursed her in exchange for allowing her to live because everyone around her would forget this girl was a girl. Instead, everyone thought she was a porcelain doll. If she did anything she would fall and break. And no one wanted to the girl to break so she was held close, always needing to be kept safe.

“However, one day the girl wanted to help her siblings cook. Mealtimes were her favorite. She could forget that she could not go outside by herself or run around. She just enjoyed the company of her family and being able to do the same thing. To hear about their days. Even if she should could not experience the outside, it was fun to hear about it. Now she wanted to try and cook herself. She was only allowed to do small things but even then she loved it so much. Until she started running around with her brother and she ended up hitting her head.”

Fella absent reached up to her forehead to feel the small scar there. “The girl was no longer allowed to cook. And that small crack had scared her family. ‘What if she breaks?’ ‘We can’t let her hurt herself.’ 'She's to fragile to do anything else.' And so she was taken and put on a shelf. There she sat in endless darkness. She sat on the shelf and the only thing she could do is listen to her family. She even grew…to hate them.” Fella’s lip wobbled, she hadn’t told this story in full. A bit to Lucette, a bit to Miss Karma but she was going to say the full story.

She took a deep breath, she was not going to cry. “The one day a kind boy came into her room named Dion. He found her on the shelf and asked: ‘Why do you shit on that shelf?’ and she said, ‘I am a doll. I am to sit on a shelf.’ ‘You are not a doll. You are a girl.’ And he took her down from the shelf and secretly brought her outside. It was hard to walk at first…even scary to be outside again. The girl started to think of herself as a doll. But as she walked, she remembered how wonderful it was to be outside.

And then she and Dion played in a field. She ran and jumped and fell but she did not break because she was a girl, not a doll.” Fella smiled at the memory and gently touched the bandages on her hands. “Her parents found them and started scolding Dion however the girl stood up to her parents. She said she was going to go outside and play. And she did. No matter how much her parents tried to keep her from going outside she found a way. It was then when the girl almost broke her arm climbing out a window that her parents realized what they were doing. The curse was slowly broken.

“And then she announced that she wanted to learn how to cook. That was another battle with her parents but they knew she would not give up. So they taught her. She cut herself and burned herself and made horrible food. But…she still went on and learned. The end.”

They were both quiet as they sat together. At some point Klaude and taken her hand. He was so gentle, that even the bandaged parts did not even sting.

“Do you still hate them?” He asked.

“My family? No. I don’t. I forgave them a long time ago.”

“I do not think you have the heart for hatred.”

Fella paused. “I don’t know about that. Does anyone at the Marchen truly deserve to be cursed? From what you told me, you needed to learn a lesson but it sounds too vindictive. We are all just people. Does the witch not deserved to be cursed for taking a son away from his family? A prince from his kingdom? When does this all end?”

Klaude tried to chuckle but it sounded to force. “Ask questions like that and you’ll end up being cursed yourself.”

“It does not seem fair.” Klaude let out another chuckle but it was a little more genuine. “Why are you laughing at that?”

Klaude moved to gently cup her cheek with his hand. “I am just thinking about how I understand why you are so passionate about others being happy. You fought for your own, now you want others to do so.” He leaned closer, Fella thought their noses lightly brushed against each other. His hair tickled her face.

Do…do I want to kiss him? Fella thought in a panic. She moved away. “Sorry, I think I have to go.” I still don’t know you Klaude.

Klaude was quiet and then said. “Of course.” He said. He then helped her up. “Thank you, Fella.”

“For what?” She said, tilting her head.

“For your story…and for what you just did.”

Moving away? Klaude, why are you so strange?

She gave him a nod and then they bid their farewells. Fella went back to the Marchen safely and laid down in her bed. Should I have kissed him?

#cinderella phenomenon #klaude almonte #Karma Cinderella Phenomenon

[ami-incants]

Calming Charm Pouch

Pictured: Store-bought blue pouch, lavender, rose quartz, amethyst, angelite, black tourmaline, green aventurine, calming sigil, calming spell

Pouch colour: Blue Crystals: Rose quartz - general calm and loving vibes Amethyst - calms an overactive mind, reduces anxiety Angelite -  calls on the angels, transmutes negatives into positives Black Tourmaline - grounding, absorbs negatives and releases positives, aids overcoming addiction, releases thoughts of self-harm Jet - calms, grounding, absorbs negatives and releases positives Amazonite - calms, alleviates worry, soothes trauma, turns anger into positive action Green aventurine - calms nervousness, quiets distracted thoughts Fluorite - blue for calm rationality, clear for mental clarity, purple for focused meditation, green for stabilising emotions Blue lace agate - discourages intrusive thoughts Lepidolite - reduces anxiety, aids sleep, brings balance to angered minds Chalcedony - calms anger, reduces anxiety Sodalite - calms panic attacks, brings emotional balance All blue and green crystals have calming and anxiety-reducing effects. All black crystals absorb negativity. Herbs: Lavender or chamomile. Charms: Any personal item that brings you calm. Sigil: I am calm 

Spell: Calming spell, to be recited in the mind or aloud, while holding amethyst, the crystal that best suits your situation, or the entire pouch. Recite each line as you slowly exhale with your eyes closed, use the slow inhale to check the next line if you need to.

Take these thoughts that bother me Slow the pace, my mind must breathe Let me think, provide a balm Slow the pace, leave me calm

About Pouches Pouches can be made of any material, but natural is better. I prefer to use natural cloth as it is easy to carry around, easy to access and I can feel the energies from the crystals through the material, and smell the herbs. Pouches do not need to be professionally made, you can use a simple drawstring bag that you have made yourself, or even use a handkerchief/cloth square secured with a ribbon. If you cannot source a suitable pouch in the desired colour, the protecting energies of white or the grounding energies of black work well for most situations. It is up to you whether you cleanse your pouch and its contents as a whole or as individual components. Due to the multiple ways I use my crystals, I cleanse and charge them regularly so do not feel the need for a full ritual when putting together a pouch. It is not necessary to use an item from each of the suggested categories, go with what feels right to you.

About Crystals Chose the number of crystals that feels right for you, and is practical for you to carry around. My magic tends to work in odd numbers, particularly 3, 5 and 7. Black stones tend to need cleansing more frequently as they can get clogged up with the negative energies they have absorbed. Smoke and moonlight are easy and safe ways to cleanse. Sunlight can be used but may discolour some crystals. It’s common advice to cleanse crystals in water/moonwater but this can be risky as many crystals may dissolve, rust, discolour or release toxins. I cleanse all of my crystals under the full moon each month, and with sage smoke if needed in the interim.

About Herbs Follow your nose and use herbs that you enjoy the smell of.

About Charms Certain objects have particular meanings, but sometimes the most powerful charms are ones personal to us. I have two items of jewellery that I always wear to connect me to three important people in my life, and a third I wear in times of particular need. A personal charm could remind you of a person, place or time. As long as the memory it evokes matches the energy you want in the pouch, it should complement the magic of the other items.

About Sigils The sigil can be drawn (preferably in the pouch colour) onto paper, stone, wood etc to be placed inside the pouch, or can be marked onto the pouch itself. When drawing the sigil, think about the affirmation and visualise it already achieved. If using candle magic to charge your pouch, the sigil can be carved onto the candle.

About Spells Spells do not have to be written down and kept within the pouch. They can be used to charge the pouch, or recited from memory at times of need. If writing it down to serve as a reminder, it is beneficial to write it in the optimum colour for that pouch.

Ask box is open for suggestions!

#ami makes charm pouches #charm pouch #charm bag #spell on the go #spell in a bag #calming charm pouch #calm #anti-anxiety #calm sigil #calm spell #ami makes sigils #ami writes spells #crystals #crystal healing #calming crystals #wicca #pagan

[kamen-rider-zed]

Reading True Love

DISCLAIMER: I am not a practitioner of Tarot. I know next to nothing about the cards nor do I claim to. Everything I wrote about in this fic was based on about 45 minutes of Google research and my own interpretations of the cards and their meanings. It is not my intention to offend anyone who uses Tarot cards. I simply read a scenario similar to this in a book a long time ago and thought it would be an interesting backdrop for some Miraculous fluff.

Juleka loves doing Tarot readings for her friends, but something strange happens when she does a reading for Marinette.

Link to my AO3

Juleka's parents may not have approved of her use of Tarot cards, but she still enjoyed giving her friends free readings after school. Her favorites were doing readings on potential romantic relationships, and truly sparked everyone's interest when the cards foretold Kim ending up with Max instead of Alix like everyone expected. And surprising literally no one, the cards read that Rose and Juleka were destined for each other.

Juleka turned over the last card of her reading and frowned. “The Sun, inverted. This can signify loneliness, disillusionment.” She looked up at Nathanaël. “Combined with the inverted Tower I revealed for 'relationship weaknesses', this may mean that...” She glanced down at his sketchbook, a portrait of Queen Bee poking out of the side. “...that you will learn something about the object of your affections that will change how you see her.” She returned her eyes to Nathanaël's. “You must be prepared to accept this change. That's the only way you'll be together.”

He nodded, though didn't seem to sure about the meaning of her reading. He stood from the park table and wandered off, but Juleka didn't have time to focus on him before Alya forced Marinette to sit on the bench across from her.

“One reading, if you please!” Alya said, her hands not leaving Marinette's shoulders.

“Alya...” Marinette moaned.

“Oh, don't tell me you're not curious as to how things will turn out with a certain someone...” Alya leaned over Marinette's shoulder, a wicked grin on her face, but the designer would not meet her gaze.

Juleka shrugged. “If you don't want a reading, I won't-”

“Okay I do want to know!” Marinette blurted out as she slammed her palms onto the table. “Will we get married? When? How many kids will we have? Will they have my eyes or his? Will we-”

“Hold on, Marinette,” Juleka chuckled, raising her hand to stem the tide of the girl's questions. “That's not how Tarot works. It's not a direct map of your future.” She shuffled the cards as she spoke. “It's more of a guide that can help you examine your life from a different perspective.” She grinned through her bangs. “So, you want to know how things will turn out with Adrien?”

Marinette paled, then smiled awkwardly and blew a raspberry through her lips.. “Pbbt, what? Adrien? Who said anything about Adrien?”

“It's okay Marinette, we all know.”

Marinette attempted some thin excuse, but finally conceded, and Alya sat beside her as Juleka continued to shuffle. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of angry blue eyes boring holes into her from across the park. Chloé had gotten better over the past few months, nicer and more supportive to her classmates, but she still hated Marinette and balked at the idea of Adrien being with her. Not that she liked Adrien romantically anymore. Juleka had caught her staring at Nathanaël on more than one occasion- and in turn had a vague idea of who Queen Bee really was- but that didn't mean she supported her archnemesis romancing her oldest friend. Chloé glared at Juleka and drew a single finger across her throat. The message was clear.

Juleka shuffled the deck a bit more before dealing out six of cards; two side by side, three in a row below them, and a single card below that. She pointed to the top left card, then the top right. “These represent you and Adrien.” She lowered her finger to the row of three, left to right. “This is the forces that bring you together. This one is the strengths of your relationship, this one the weaknesses.” He finger dropped to the bottom card. “This...this is called the True Love card. This tells us whether or not a relationship between you two will last.”

Juleka moved back to the first card and flipped it over. “Hmm, Strength.”

Alya giggled. “Strength? This beanpole?” Marinette jabbed her elbow into her friend's ribs.

“It doesn't mean physical strength. It means inner strength. Willpower. A capacity for forgiveness and compassion.”

“Yeah, that sounds more like her.” Alya glanced over, but Marinette only blushed at the compliments.

Juleka turned over Adrien's card. “Oh, the Wheel of Fortune, inverted.”

“Inverted?” Marinette looked from the card to Juleka. “What does that mean?”

“When a card is upside-down, it takes on a new meaning. It normally represents chance and change, for better or worse, but inverted it means bad luck and forces beyond your control.” Juleka furrowed her brow. “It's also not the best of omens. It's usually a portent of some natural disaster, a cataclysm on the horizon.”

“Adrien doesn't have a lot of control over his schedule,” Marinette said. “That sounds about right.”

Juleka nodded and flipped over the first card of the next row. “The World. Overcoming hardships together, facing trials together, all of your experiences together coming full circle, that is what draws you two closer together.”

Marinette smiled and waited for Juleka to reveal the next card. Juleka glanced behind Marinette again and noticed Chloe stood a little closer, a look of fury on her face. That was obviously not the reading Chloé wanted to hear, but what did she expect Juleka to do? “Next is...Temperance. This represents balance and harmony. That is what makes your relationship strong; you two complement one another. Your personalities and energies work well together.

“Now, for the weaknesses...the High Priestess inverted.” Juleka gnawed at her lip. “Usually the High Priestess means revealing truths, but inverted...”

“We're, uh,” Marinette stuttered with her eyes wide. “We're...keeping secrets from one another?”

“Well, you are keeping your crush a secret,” Alya pointed out.

“It's more than that,” Juleka said. “There is a great truth that must be revealed for your relationship to flourish. What it is, I don't know. Just know that this is the only way you and Adrien can be happy together.”

Marinette nodded, and gulped as Juleka reached for the bottom card. The True Love card. Juleka's eyes darted back to Chloé, then down to the card. She lifted it from the table, flipped it over, and revealed...

“The...Lovers.” Juleka's eyes went wide. “This...this is the most powerful love sign. It represents love and union on a cosmic scale. With...with The World, this means that every single hardship you face together will be overcome.” She shook her head. “Sometimes The Lovers means taking differing paths in your relationship, and with the inverted High Priestess, I'd warn that you not let those secrets move you down divergent paths, but...” She looked up at Marinette. “This card in this position means...you and Adrien are soul mates.”

Marinette looked on the verge of fainting and Chloé looked on the verge of murder. Juleka gathered her cards and excused herself while Marinette danced and Chloe ground her teeth together. She remained silent on her walk home, only pausing in her thoughts to shoot a text off to Rose about their date the next night. When she arrived home, she greeted her parents and told them she would be in her room until dinner. She closed the door, dropped her backpack beside it, then lowered her eyes to the deck of cards in her hand.

She strode over to her desk and scattered the cards across it. She sorted through each of the twenty-two cards and put them back in the order she knew they were in after Nathanaël's reading. She shuffled, the cards dancing between her practiced hands, then she dealt the first six cards from the top of the deck.

Strength, inverted Wheel, The World, Temperance, inverted Priestess...

Hierophant.

She stared down at the card in disbelief and reset the deck. She shuffled again and dealt again.

Hierophant.

Juleka pressed a palm against her mouth and shook her head. This was the card she was supposed to draw. This was exactly how she'd shuffled the cards.

Over the years, Juleka had learned how to memorize card orders and shuffle decks in such a way that she could control which cards she drew. Initially it was to give Rose positive readings when she was feeling down, but it eventually turned into her playing a sort of mystical 'matchmaker'. She would admit to stacking the deck with Kim and Max, and she thought Chloé and Nathanaël would make a cute couple, but with Adrien and Marinette...

She knew Strength and the inverted Wheel would match them perfectly. The World was a good relationship card in general, so it was a safe play. Temperance seemed appropriate, since their personalities did complement one another: soft and submissive Adrien to loud and dominant Marinette. The inverted High Priestess had been a bit of a gamble, since she had noticed the two of them sneak off in the middle of class, and sometimes even during Akuma attacks, so she knew they harbored secrets. But secrets were dangerous for any relationship.

She shuffled the Hierophant into the sixth position mostly to appease Chloé. It still represented unions and meaningful relationships, just not necessarily romantic. It would give Marinette hope while still not confirming her and Adrien as a couple. Juleka couldn't understand as she shuffled the cards and dealt the Hierophant for the third time. Try as she might, again and again, she couldn't recreate any series of shuffles, any mistake she could have made to put The Lovers in the sixth position. After the fifth time revealing the Hierophant, she turned her eyes to the deck, then picked it up and turned it over.

The bottom card was The Lovers. Exactly where she put it.

That was what stunned Juleka when she revealed it during Marinette's reading. She intentionally put The Lovers on the bottom of the deck so there was no way she could draw it and attract Chloé's wrath. But it somehow made its way to the sixth position in the deck. The True Love position. This meant Fate had determined that Adrien and Marinette were truly soul mates...

And there was no way a little goth girl with quick fingers and a deck of cards could conceal that truth.

#ml fic #juleka couffaine #tarot reading #fluff #marinette dupain-cheng

[allenmendezsr]

Adult Guitar Lessons

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Adult Guitar Lessons

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    “Over 50, 60, 70?”…

Play Your First Song on the Guitar in

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  Are you a “boomer”? Discover how to easily overcome the challenges of learning how to play guitar “Later in Life”…

Ready to get started?……..Read On…..

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From: Keith Dean

Pro Guitar Instructor

Date:

Dear Fellow Guitar Player,

Have you always wanted to play guitar but could never find the time? Like the rest of us, you’re probably busy raising a family, working a job, finishing school or chasing a career. You might even think you’re too old, or unable to learn how to play.

You may have already tried to learn guitar only to become frustrated and disappointed. Have you had problems with fingers that don’t want to co-operate, or difficulty pressing down the strings to make chords sound “clear”, or challenges with strumming and getting the right “timing”? Do you feel like your hands are just too small, or you’ll never be able to stretch your fingers enough to play guitar? Have you tried guitar lessons designed for a “younger crowd“, that seemed geared toward kids – and taught by kids?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, take heart, you’re in the right place! Read on…

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My career as a professional guitarist has spanned more than 30 years. In that time, I have had the honor of sharing stages with many top name artists (Little Big Town, Wild Rose, Winger, Confederate Railroad,  Jason Aldean and more), and spent many of those years touring the U.S. and Europe. In addition, I have owned a successful music store, been a published songwriter, and taught countless students how to play guitar.

Now, the reason I’m telling you this is NOT to impress you, but to impress upon you, that anyone, and I mean anyone, can learn how to play guitar.

How Can I Make This Claim?

One thing you should know is that I did not spend years studying music theory. I don’t have a degree in music or any formal training, and I certainly wasn’t blessed with tons of natural talent.

I learned to play guitar the hard way, learning songs off of vinyl records, stealing licks from other guitar players, and learning to play guitar by “ear” and by “feel” and by “pattern“. 

And you know the funny thing? I worked my butt off to teach myself the guitar without a “proper education”, but was still able to become an in-demand guitar player. 

And the fact is, if I can do it, so can you!

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Not only have your classes been full of fun, but they are sooooo easy to follow that anyone can learn from you.  You make the guitar fun, and the songs easy to learn.  I have not been able to put my guitar down, and the only draw back I have is there aren’t enough hours in the day for practice.  Keith, you are a testament to easy learning.  Oh yeah, and the most important thing of all, is you give personal feedback which to me, is the best part of all.  I actually get to talk with you as if you were teaching me personally.  Thank you for the opportunity to really learn this instrument at my own pace.

Barb D. – Los Angeles, CA 

…In 4 days with you I’m now playing parts to three songs and one riff…

I picked up a guitar five months ago and have been able to form chords but was not able to play any songs. In four days with you I’m now playing parts to three songs and one riff. I’m thrilled with my progress and thank you dearly for your invaluable assistance. You have renewed my dream of playing the guitar. Thank you.

Derrick G. – Toronto, Canada 

What’s the hardest thing about getting started on guitar? Sometimes it’s just a matter of breaking down and dispelling some common myths and misconceptions. See if any of these sound familiar.

Myth – You have to study music theory to get good on the guitar.

Fact – Some of the greatest guitar players of our generation never studied music theory or cracked open a music book. In fact, many never even took guitar lessons! Think… Hendrix, Stevie Ray, Clapton and more.

Myth – You have to practice scales over and over to be able to play lead guitar.

Fact – While a certain knowledge of scale “patterns” is important, learning how to mindlessly play scale notes up and down the neck has little to do with truly making music with your solos.

Myth –  You have to spend hours on repetitive guitar drills and exercises to teach your fingers how to play.

Fact –  Any dog can be taught new tricks through repetition. Mundane drills and exercises will make you a good robot, but will not necessarily turn you into a good guitar player.  

Myth –  You have to play really fast, to be really good.

Fact – There is a fixation with today’s generation on playing guitar really fast. It may be impressive from a mechanical point of view, but speed licks do not really “say” anything musically. Think…B.B King.

Myth –  You have to be in your teens or twenties to really learn how to play guitar.

Fact – Younger guitar students are often unencumbered with raising families and working, and as a result, have more time to practice and make progress. Adult students, however, typically have more patience and are able to focus more closely on their studies. Progress may be slower, but the “quality” of the progress is heightened. 

Myth –  You have to take the latest “flashy” guitar lessons program designed for (and taught by) kids, to learn how to play guitar.

Fact – A recent Gallup Survey showed that 59% of music makers are under 35 years old. As a result, most lesson programs target this age group. Luckily, today you’ve discovered a guitar lessons program developed specifically for “our” age group, without the flash!

Grab your free copy of “7 Steps to Success on the Guitar” today! A full 21 pages packed with useful information and advice to get your guitar playing started off on the right foot – and it’s all free! (For a limited time)

You’ll learn these strategies and tips:

How to make the one key decision that can make or break your success

8 basic things you need to know about your guitar

Which specific chords you must learn first…and why

An approach to strumming that will make this crucial skill much easier

How learning shapes and patterns will speed your learning

A common mistake to avoid like the plague, and the one approach that’s proven to work

4 practical tips to get more fun and enjoyment from your playing

Plus – You’ll receive an exclusive subscription to our guitar players newsletter which includes

Getting started tutorials – Free video lessons – Guitar tips, tricks & shortcuts – Video lead guitar “Cool Licks” – Videos on how to play songs, intros, and riffs – and much more!

Just fill in the form to the right and claim your copy today!

Read On……..

Let’s face it, there’s a ton of information out there on the web.  Free lessons, YouTube videos, blogs and advice. Some of it good, some not so good.

The problem is, bouncing back and forth from site to site, grabbing little bits of “this and that” along the way, is not going to take you very far on the guitar. In fact, it can easily lead to “information overload” resulting in anxiety and frustration.  

When many of my new guitar students started with Adult Guitar Lessons, they were self professed “Google Guitarists”, that could play little snippets, riffs and licks on guitar, but had no real firm grasp on guitar concepts, and were hard pressed to play a complete song from beginning to end!

Most of them had the desire to learn how to play guitar, they simply lacked “focus“.

…Finally Rockin’…at 59!…

When I was about 12 I had visions of being a rock star like so many during the time of the British invasion. As I got older, life got in the way, and even though I thought of being that rock star I never was able to pursue my dreams. My wife knew of my younger dreams and encouraged me to start playing again which I did a little but I wanted to play the guitar the right way, not struggle with trying to read music, learn the chords, make the progressions from chord to chord without the frustration. I started looking online for guitar lesson information and found alot of sites,but none seemed to be in the business of teaching – only selling – except one, Adult Guitar Lessons. I was a bit apprehensive at first but I joined after being impressed with what the site contained. It was so loaded with information and sharing, genuine in a way that only a person that loves what he does is willing to give to others that have the desire as well.

I want to tell you I have enjoyed every minute of my lessons and practice. I can’t wait to take another lesson or practice every chance I get. I have slowed my lessons a bit simply because I want to be good at playing guitar and want every note to be as clear and beautiful sounding as it can be and the progressions to be smooth. Who knows maybe now at 59 I am on my way to being that rock star I only have been able to dream about.

Since becoming a member of Adult Guitar Lessons, I have talked to many people interested in learning to play with the same story as mine, being told to me, and trust me when I say I have recommended everyone of them to you.

Fred W. – Florida

Can you imagine how quickly you’ll be playing guitar by having someone who’s “been there”, literally reach out, take you by the hand and show you exactly what to do, and how to do it?

I would’ve given anything to have had a course like this back in the beginning. There’s no telling how much faster my career would have taken off.

The great thing is, you don’t have to wait. You don’t have to beat your brains out struggling to learn every note, lick, riff, chord and concept. I’m going to show you everything!

What’s more, I’m going to show you how easy and fun it can be to learn guitar…and how fast you can be playing. I’ll quickly teach you things on the guitar that literally took me years of hard work to figure out! Things like…

How to learn to play guitar by “ear” and by “feel“… the natural way

The few most important scale “patterns“ that will unlock the mysteries to playing solos

How to learn songs from just listening to the recording

Shortcuts to identifying, and playing, any chord progression

Secrets to easily form chords anywhere on the guitar

…And you won’t have to devote hours upon hours to practice. With only 10 minutes or so a day you’ll be playing songs on the guitar by your favorite artists – in no time at all!

Are you a Beatles fan? How about Eric Clapton, Pink Floyd, Johnny Cash, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Joe Cocker, Paul Simon, The Blues Brothers, Chuck Berry, The Animals, BTO, The Kinks, Dwight Yoakam, or Marshall Tucker?

Did you ever believe you’d be able to play songs on the guitar by all these (and more) top artists of our generation? 

…You will!…And Faster Than You Think!

Imagine the look on the faces of your friends and family as you’re jamming away on songs by many of these artists within your first 30 days on the guitar!

Many new guitar students encounter some challenges early in the game. Some even give up the guitar altogether in frustration, but that won’t be you. With this course you will learn how to overcome, with ease, some of the most common obstacles that face guitarists in the beginning.

• Never again struggle to form chords and make them sound clear

• Teach your fingers how to play notes with no string muting or fret buzz

• Learn strumming techniques that will have you sounding like a pro

• Improve your timing and master complex rhythms

• Change chords smoothly and seamlessly

• Learn the #1 secret to better barre chords

• Build hand and finger strength, and reduce forearm fatigue  

What Our Members Say…

…It Makes All The Difference!…

I searched the net and after searching, found this site which for me was easy to follow. I have all the lessons at my disposal, I can go as fast as I want, even go back if I wish. Plus there are the individual emails and videos. And because I have it installed on my net book, I take my guitar and tutor with me wherever and whenever I wish.  Plenty of encouragement from Keith when its needed, more like an old buddy than a tutor, it makes all the difference.

Davey M. – Doncaster, England

Easier Every Time I Pick Up The Guitar…

Hi Keith

I just want to let you know that I am enjoying the Adult Guitar lessons and I am finding it easier every time I pick up the guitar. What I enjoy the most is I have the help I need just by logging into your site and it is there when I need it. Also the quick response to my questions from you.

Thanks again.

Dan A.

…Professional Help…

Hi Keith, I’m sending this to thank you for all of your professional help. When I started with the guitar I didn’t think it was my thing to do. I went on-line to find some help and I ran across your web-site for Adult Guitar Lessons. It was not easy to get the chords to sound clear, but with you available through email conversations I can now do the C-A-G-E-D chords with no problem. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

Take Care and GOD Bless,

Brother L.

Precise, Direct Instruction…

Keith,

Your course was just  what i was looking for. Precise, direct instruction with excellent tab graphics, and a vibe from you that comes through that you are caring and sincere and excited about teaching  us guitar. Thanx.

Ed B., Illinois

62 Year Old Blues Fan…

Hiya Keith,

I would just like to thank you and your team for giving me the enthusiasm to try once more with the guitar. I am a 62 yr old blues fan and have “messed about” with guitars for years without much success, with your course I find it very user friendly and in just a few short weeks am able to play some things that people actually recognize!

I find the video clips helpful and fun and I really like the fact that I can revisit any part of the course when it suits me.

You keep up the good work and I will keep practicing.

Cheers,  John S., Gt Manchester, England.

The one thing you must learn to play any chord, anywhere on the guitar

How to train your ear to hear any chord progression

How to use a simple 8 note pattern to figure out any chord progression, for any song

Learn to play a 12 bar blues progression in any key

The secret trick to playing a I, IV, V chord progression anywhere on the fret board

The hardest thing to overcome when learning guitar, and how to beat it

Uncover the mystery behind “Three Chords and the Truth”

How to “punch up the Dixie” in your Southern Rock songs

Discover the one absolute most important rhythm riff you will ever need to know on the guitar

…and Much More!

Is playing the guitar something you have always wanted to do but never found the time to learn? Have you reached a point in your life where you’ve finally decided to do something about it? Maybe you want to learn how to play guitar so you can…

• Join a band and play on stage

• Become a songwriter and record your own music

• Play gigs as a solo performer

• Play with your church group or praise team

• Jam with friends in the garage

• Play songs for family and friends

• Play guitar for personal enjoyment, for therapy and stress relief

Whatever direction you want to go in, this course will give you all the guitar skills and resources you need to accomplish all of your goals and rise to any level you desire on the guitar! This is, quite simply…

The Easiest and Fastest Way Available To Learn How To Play Guitar!

In addition…Did you know that….

It has been known for a long time that listening to music can result in positive health benefits by reducing blood pressure, stress and feelings of pain.

But did you know that recent studies show that playing music has positive and lasting health benefits in older adults?

Learning to play guitar can help with improved brain functions as shown by a Pennsylvania State University study. When the brain is engaged in 60 to 75 minute sessions of “exercise”, the results are improvement in mental processing and reasoning skills, which can increase cognitive skills as much as 5 years later in older adults.

In another study (Music Making and Wellness Project), it was shown that a group of retirees that took music lessons experienced:

• Increasing levels of human growth hormone (hGH)

• Decreases in Anxiety

• Reductions in Depression

• Reduction in Feelings of Loneliness

We all know that playing guitar is fun, and is good for the “soul”. But now we know it’s good for your health as well!

Making My Dream Come True (at 58 years young!)…

Hi Keith, First off I’d like to thank you so very much for making my dream come true. I always wanted to play guitar and try an be a good player like all my friends. Well I think the way I’m going now I will get pretty good as I can already play a number of country songs…To all you people who want to learn guitar at home and with all the help you need by just sending keith a note, he will be right there to help you at all times. Trust me , this is a great site if you really want to learn guitar. Good luck to all. 

Paul, Ontario, Canada.

P.S.– By the way I am 58 years young, I took Guitar lessons from two different teachers around 25 years ago at different intervals but have learnt a great deal more from Keith in this past month . Its because he takes his time and takes you step by step through everything, he explains it all right to a tee. (way to go Keith)

…Making Learning Guitar Fun…

Thanks for making learning guitar fun, I like the way you cut to the chase and get alot going so it does not become boring.  I am 65 years young and enjoy spending time playing.   Great lesson plan and you put alot on the plate, that way you can pick what you want to learn and have funtime at it. I recommend this lesson plan to anyone with interest to getting up and running fast, thanks again.

Bob,  Stuart Fl.

 …Personalized Touch…

 My opinion, I don’t think you could offer any better services than what you already provide.  Your personalized touch and attention to specific question and concerns is outstanding.  If I had a lot of money I would certainly recruit you for your dedication and passion to run a company.

Renea, Madison, Wisconsin

Adult Guitar Lessons is offered in an online, multi-media format including over 100 video lessons. No more keeping up with books that get torn or dog eared, and DVD’s that can get lost or scratched.

Each lesson is supported with detailed written explanations, music charts, chord charts, TAB’s and color pictures.

Simply log in to your personal account, anytime (24/7), even if it’s 2:00am in the morning, grab your guitar and start your lessons.

Video Lessons

Over 100 Video Guitar Lessons, ranging from Beginner Guitar, Intermediate Guitar, Lead Guitar and our popular Cool Lick Series. We don’t just show you – all lessons are fully explained in detail.

Music Charts

Easy to read charts help you map out songs in a clear cut, simple to understand format.

  TAB’s

Every guitar lick and riff is written out in Tablature (TAB) form, and explained in the videos

  Chord Diagrams

All chords are illustrated with diagrams and fingering instructions

  Text

Each lesson includes in-depth written explanations that compliment the videos

Lesson Goals:

♦ Learn the right hand down stroke technique ♦ Learn the right hand up stroke technique ♦ Become familiar with the music staff and notation ♦ Learn alternating down and up stroke pattern

Now that we know how to form the E chord we can begin working on learning strumming techniques.

Start by practicing down strokes as illustrated to the right. For now just work on getting smooth strokes with all 6 strings ringing clearly.

Do this slowly and keep a steady tempo to begin with and then you can gradually speed up.

Next we will work on up strokes. Again, we are not too concerned with speed at this stage. Just play them slow and at a steady tempo until you feel comfortable with the movement.

Now we can put this all together! In the following example we will practice alternating between down strokes and up strokes.

Color Pictures

Clearly demonstrating how to form chords and patterns

Jam Tips

Extra bits of helpful information relating to each lesson

Jam Tip!

We will talk a lot about visualization as a way of learning guitar fast. Take a moment and visualize the pattern of the E chord fingering so that you can recall it without looking at the diagram. I promise you will see this chord and chord pattern many times in the future!

Unlimited Email Support

You are never alone as a Full Access Member. We are always here to answer questions and explain techniques

Need Help?

Got a Question?

Lesson Help

Unlimited Course Updates

This one is really important! Because this course is online, as a Full Access Premier Member your membership never expires, and you will have unlimited access to all the course updates, improvements and new Cool Licks, automatically! 

Caution: Many online courses are delivered as a download and cannot be changed, updated or improved. Similarly, home study DVD and book courses cannot be updated as well, without re-ordering the course.

At Adult Guitar Lessons, we are continually adding new lessons and Cool Licks, making improvements, and updating – and you get them all every time you log in!

Most Comprehensive I have Seen…

Hey Keith, This is the most comprehensive and informative set of instructions I have ever seen and it is helping me greatly. I am actually a performing musician “one man band” and have been playing for over 30 years. I am mostly self taught and have been stuck in a rut for years…I am really enjoying the lessons.

Harry C., San Diego

Helpful and Easy to Follow…

Hi Keith & Staff. I want to let you know how helpful and easy to follow your lessons have been. I am 50 years old and always wanted to learn guitar. I never thought I could learn the basics so fast. I have my own business here in Australia and work long hours, even so I spend a least 45 minutes each evening practising using your tutorials.The way they are presented is first class.I know I still have a way to go but I know I will get there. So thank you for making a life long aim come to fruition. I would have no hesitation in recommending Adult Guitar Lessons to anyone wanting to learn guitar.

Regards, Joe A. Melbourne, Australia.

Far Superior…

Hi Keith. Thanks for your words of reassurance. Adult Guitar Lessons have well and truly exceeded my expectations.You are an excellent forum for learning to play guitar. The tutorials, licks and the email responses have been extremely helpful. From a beginners point of view your site is far superior to any other sites I had previously searched.

Gerry M. Utica, New York

Your path to finally becoming an accomplished guitar player is mapped out for you in step-by-step learning modules. Every lesson, technique and Cool Lick is accompanied by detailed videos that take all the guess work out of it for you. Starting from the beginning at day one, all the way through to learning the skills you need to become a lead guitarist!

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Thanks A Million…

Hi Keith I have been a life time member now after getting the free lessons. I just have to say I am really enjoying the lessons. I have taken lessons before, but with yours, you are always there for me to go back to if I need the help. Your style really is making it a lot easier to learn how to play guitar. I have a few friends who play and I am now able to join in on some of their jam sessions.

This is great. Thanks a miilion. Walter M. Garden City Beach, SC

Teaching Methods are Awesome…

Well, I have to tell you.  Your teaching methods are awesome.  As well as your website.  I just started learning one of the pentatonic scales…I really cannot thank you enough for your getting right back to me. This alone makes me a solid fan of yours. I look forward to learning more from you. Take care.

Betty

T. Lititz, PA

Super Bonus #1 – One-on-One Guitar Coaching

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I Never Believed The Offer…

Thank you, Keith.  I am so impressed with your personal response to my concerns.  I really can’t believe you responded with such obvious concern. Honestly, when I signed up for your lessons, I never believed the offer we could email you with questions and have a personal response.  I just figured, if the videos give me some help-great. Thank you very much.

Renea   Effingham, IL

Down To Earth…

Hello Keith..Just wanted to say that I am enjoying your site and the way you teach your lessons. I have been on various sites and even have life time memberships on one, and yours is the only one I have complimented. That is due to the fact that the way you explain things is very down to earth…if anyone decides to use your instructional videos on your site they do not need to feel intimidated. Keep up the good work of making it easy too learn.

Kirk   Lakeland, FL

Private guitar lessons typically range from $25 to $30 per lesson. If you paid a private instructor for the over 100 lessons you get with AdultGuitarLessons.com you could easily spend over $2,500!

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One thing’s for sure though. If you don’t take action today, if you don’t decide to finally do something about it now – then 30 days from now you may be no closer to learning how to play guitar than you are today. 

…to this incredible offer. It’s a small matter and very reasonable, but may affect your decision. You see, this course is not for everyone. If you are afraid to put forth some effort, not a lot, but a little time every day, or each week – you will not see progress on the guitar. I am giving you all the keys to playing guitar quickly and easily with a minimal amount of effort, but there will be some effort required on your part. Most people understand this, but I don’t want to mislead you into thinking that simply purchasing a Full Access Membership will make you an accomplished guitar player. It won’t happen without the other half of the equation – you!

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Warmest Regards,

Keith Dean – Pro Instructor

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1. AdultGuitarLessons is a comprehensive, multi-media online guitar lessons course that will provide you all the skills you need to become the best guitar player you can possibly be – starting today!

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4. AdultGuitarLessons was developed by a professional touring guitarist with over 30 years of stage, studio, songwriting and instructional experience.

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See you on the inside…

  Adult Guitar Lessons is available online only – no need to wait for shipping…Start your guitar lessons today!

[helenaveee]

Against All Odds Pt.1

Against All Odds ~ACOTAR FIC~

--->Link to Part 2<---

Feysand’s heir Estrella goes on an adventure to find out what is pulling her south toward the forbidden  Spring Court.  Andras, Tamlins youngest son has been having dreams of the night sky for weeks. It is only when he decides to venture out of his comfort zone that he realizes there is a larger meaning behind those dreams and that he will do anything to find it.

THE BEGINNING

*Estrella* I had heard the tale a million times. The War of Courts, Hybern and his armies, Vassa and birds made of flames. Ships that bore the names of my family and creatures so feared that even the dark ran from them. Yet, I felt as though it was so far away, so much time had passed and these stories became watered down versions of the truth. My mother never talked about what happened to her under the Mountain. She never included those memories in her re-telling. I’d heard the whispers though. Everyone still remembered her bravery. Everyone still called her The Cursebreaker. My father looks at her with such pride, such adoration that I can only wonder what led to their pairing. It feels like an entire chapter of their lives was swept away, dust under the rug. I cannot explain the feeling.. but something from their past is calling to me. It’s a warm breeze caressing my cheek, a whisper in the wind, the sweet scent of a flower I cannot ever recall smelling. It’s pulling me somewhere foreign and yet familiar. It’s pulling me into Spring.

-Andras-

It was the same dream I’d been having for a while. The North Star glimmering in the night sky amidst a myriad of colors. Hues of periwinkle, deep blues and greens dancing behind it. The moon resting just under the star like a great shining eye, beckoning me forward. I take a step and feel my feet snag on something with thorns. Red roses creep up above my knees and twine their stems around my wrists. The panic sets in almost immediately and I’m overcome with a feeling of dispair. I must follow the North Star, I need to know why it is drawing me forth into the night. More vines come slithering out of the earth, pinning me in place. There is nothing I can do, no amount of struggle or screaming will loosen their grip. The colors in the sky start to fade into grey, the Star fades too. All that is left is me and the moon. For a moment I am still; defeated and weak. I hear it then, a howling of defiance. A wolf in the distance, silhouetted against the moon itself. It cries out into the void louder and louder, building into crescendo that rattles the stars back into the sky. It is only then that the realization hits. I am the wolf. I am shepherd to The North Star and I will howl until it finds it’s way out of the dark and back to me.

                              *Estrella*

They say I take after my father in looks and my mother in temperament. With my inky hair, dark complexion and mischievous smile you’d think us twins. There weren’t a lot of features I inherited from my mother except the smattering of freckles on my cheeks and the ring of blue-grey in my otherwise violet colored eyes. Oh, and the bits of power from every court in Prythian. The gift willingly given to save my mothers life just so happened to be the gift that kept on giving. I couldn’t summon the full extent of their powers but some abilities were quite useful even at a trickle of their strength. At the present moment, I could kiss the feet of High Lord Tarquin for bestowing us with water manipulation.

It was an unseasonably hot night in Velaris and Ritas was filled to the brim with writhing bodies. Music filled the air making my pulse jump and my head swim. Well, I do suppose my head was also swimming thanks to the generous helpings of sweet red wine being offered left and right. Swimming… my head was swimming… Oh, yes, thank the cauldron. I summoned water from my fingertips and filled a goblet to the brim, the liquid dripping down my face as I took it in three large gulps. I was filling my second glass when a chill crept up my neck and nipped my nose. It could only mean one thing. I turned around and was greeted by the loudest squeal I had ever heard followed by a bone crushing hug.

“ ESTRELLAAAA! Thank the mother I am SO happy to see you. Mor and Selene are driving me mad! They won’t stop telling stories of their adventures in Cretea after the wedding and if I have to hear one of those tales again my brain will quite literally melt.”

“It’s lovely to see you too cousin and I am happy to rescue you but could you please do me a favor?”

I pointed at my glass of now warm water and put on a soppy frown. Cohl was heir to The Winter Court and could summon ice in the blink of an eye and so he did, effectively turning my bathwater goblet into a refreshing ice slushy. I could only muster a few snowflakes on a good day.

“Can we please get out of here, I’m staying at the House of Wind and could use some help navigating. Your roads always confuse me. They all look so different.”

I scoffed at his statement, recalling the image of The Winter Court into my mind. One giant snowball, not a variation of color in sight. No wonder he was lost in Velaris, this was practically a maze to him.

“Yes yes, let’s winnow out. Mor and Selene can make their own way back.”

And so we went, arm in arm into the night, giggling all the way home.  

**************************

In the early hours of the morning my eyes fluttered open. Something strange had stirred me awake. It was a sound.. not my name but something else. A howling…but was it? We didn’t have wolves here in the north. That was distinctly a southern region beast. I scrubbed at the sleep in my eyes and stumbled out of bed. My head immediately started to pound as I was not-so-kindly reminded of mine and Cohls detour to another tavern. We had caught up over flaming whiskey, a drink he had never tried and was indeed floored by, literally. After scraping him up off the ground, we half winnowed and half walked back to The House of Wind. A million steps later and here I was, in my mothers old quarters. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t escape the shadow of my parents. They were everywhere. I stood, legs shaky as a newborn doe and walked to the terrace. The sky was beginning to turn colors; periwinkle, pinks and purples. I took in the sight of my home, the beauty of it and felt an unfamiliar tug at my heart. Then, out of nowhere, a warm breeze. It was both alluring and alarming, the way it wove itself in and out of my fingers, lifted my hair back from my face. It smelled of flowers and grass and earth. No, not flowers. A flower… one I had never smelled in my life. Before I could think on it any further the sensation was gone along with the breeze and smell. I lingered there for a moment longer then crawled back into bed, my head insisting on more sleep. As my eyes closed I had the vaguest feeling that I was not entirely alone. It did not scare me, not one bit.

                                  -Andras-

I woke with my heart slamming against my chest. For the love of the cauldron, was this really happening again? The same dream for a fortnight. Thorns, roses, wolves, stars and the moon. It was going to be the end of me any day now. The sun had not even peeked over the hills yet and I was wide awake. I turned my face into my pillow and let out a groan that could have woken half of Prythian. A moment later and I was rolling out of bed and headed into my bathing quarters. I chanced a look into the great golden vanity mirror, something I did not do often since the dreams started. The darkness under my eyes had gotten worse and my cheekbones had become more prominent. Even my hair was protesting. When had I last ran a comb through it? I could not recall. Anyway, what did it matter.. I wasn’t the son who needed to put on airs for anyone. That was my brother Hensel’s duty as first born heir to The Spring Court. I swiftly turned from my reflection and drew a bath. Once it was filled to the brim with suds, I stepped in, a great sigh of relief escaping my lips. Perhaps this would help me fall back to sleep. I only hoped that scrubbing my skin would in turn scrub away the images that haunted me every night. It didn’t.

Two hours later the manor woke. I could hear the maids preparing the decorations for Calanmai, an ancient ceremony that is held to signify the start of Spring. Another year, another ceremony, all the same. I’d have to be present for the revel even though it bored me half to death. Hensel on the other hand was more than excited to attend Calanmai. Being a High Lords heir had it’s advantages with the female and male fae alike. I was aware of his sneaking off into the stables to exchange “words” with his consorts. I couldn’t help but to laugh and turn my attentions elsewhere.. usually the magnificent spread of food on the tables. This year it would be more of the same.. always the same. Except this year my dreams had kept me awake for many many nights and I was in definite need of some sneaking and reveling.

____________________

“Hensel, Andras, you know what I expect of you in the coming days so please be on your best behavior. We have new guests coming in from villages all over the court and they will be enjoying the festivities with us for the first time. I do hope you will be most courteous and respectful to everyone. Hensel! for the love of the mother TAKE YOUR FEET OFF THE TABLE.”

I peeked under my curtain of dark hair to my brother on the opposite end of the table. His feet were indeed up and least surprising was the berry pressed between two toes, ready to eat. Hensel was the spitting image of our father; golden mane, eyes green as sprouting leaves and a shit eating grin that could rival that of The High Lord himself. Watching them both assert their dominance was like watching two great lions stare each other down. It never ended well. The only time our father wasn’t met with resistance from Hensel was during Calanmai, so to his great relief, my brother took his feet off the table. A lion recognizing that his next big feast depended on someone else.

“Andras darling, have you had a bath yet today? I could have one drawn for you at once if not.” My mother was the fiercest person I’d ever encountered but when it came to me she seemed to have a soft spot.

“I did have one earlier this morning… do I really look that bad?”

“You look like hell frozen over little prince” said Hensel, while tossing the berry I imagined was in between his toes onto my plate.

I threw the berry back, “ You might want to clip those talons from your feet before tonight or you’ll risk impaling one of our new guests.”

Hensel flashed me a less-than-savory gesture and I returned the favor. We grinned like fools for the rest of breakfast while our parents grilled us on proper etiquette for the nights to come.

*Estrella*

“ Amren, where exactly do wolves roam in Prythian? “

Amren slid her eyes up from the handful of jewels she had been polishing. I never called Amren anything but her name, although I suspected she’d be okay with me calling her Aunt if the feeling compelled me. Everyone in The Inner Circle was Aunt or Uncle to me.

“They are native to the southern courts.”

“I know that.. I just mean to ask where exactly..”

Amren cocked an eyebrow and said “ You know where. Your mother and father forbade me to speak of that court with you. Don’t think bringing me handfuls of jewels is going to soften me up child.”

I wrinkled my brows and stuck my tongue out at her. Immediately realizing the grave mistake I turned around and ran for my life. I had barely made it out the door before a ruby encrusted slipper flew past my ear.

**************************

“ Aunt Nesta, can I ask you a question about your life before you were made fae?”

My aunt was sitting in the library of the large treehouse her and my uncle Cassian had moved into together years ago. She sat barefoot, feet curled underneath her, scribbling in a volume of text that had strange markings on the pages. When she closed the book and turned her attention to me, I noticed the authors name… Nesta Archeron. She had become quite the scholar since being turned fae, particularly in ancient magic thanks to Amren having taught her years ago.

“ Yes, you may. No, I cannot tell you anything of your mothers time in the south.”

I sighed, “ That’s okay because this question has to do with when you lived in the mortal realm. Did you ever see any wolves? Hear them howling? I could have sworn I heard one the other night and it woke me from sleep. Have you ever heard of one traveling up this far north?”

My aunts eyes glazed over at the memory that was tugging her mind. She seemed very far away at that moment, lost in a time before now, nearly 20 years ago.

“I had not encountered the wolf until Feyre had brought back the pelt. It was a giant beast and she made good money for the furs. It all happened so suddenly, one moment we were sitting around a fire and next a monster comes bursting through our cottage door. We were all so frightened, the beast was demanding to know what happened to his wolf companion. It took me a few blinks to realize they had been High Fae-“

I must have looked eager for the information because she immediately snapped out of her daze and looked me square in the eyes.

“Wolves are dangerous creatures and you will not seek them out. Had it not been for the wolf in the forest that day we might all live very different lives. I’m happy here with Cassian and our family, but know that I have thought of my mortal life many times in the years and still yearn for it in some ways. Don’t be a fool Estrella.”

I thanked her for sharing that story with me, turned on my heel and winnowed back to the last place I’d heard the howling. My mothers quarters. On the terrace I made a vow that I’d find out what was tugging me south. Deep in my core I knew where the answers were.. I was going somewhere forbidden by my entire family. I was going into Spring... but not before enlisting a little help. {All character edits are done by me for this fan fiction} {All characters,places and events are inspired by the ACOTAR series written by Sarah J Maas. }

#acotar #acowar fic #acomaf #acomaf fic #acotar fic #daniwritesstuff #heckyadreamcast #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #estrella and andras #estrella #andras #hensel #jesminda #cohl #the night court #the winter court #the spring court #tamlin #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #helenaveeefancasts

[the-everqueen]

Broom conservatory prompts: "god, you're a fox!" or alternatively, Adams Knows something is up with this boy and confronts Washington about it

Eliza tastes of summer nights and sweet jasmine and the smooth, pearled inside of a seashell.

Alex deepens the kiss as though he could swallow her whole, overcome with the need for more. She presses her hips flush against him, fingers clutching at his shirt; he trails open-mouthed kisses down her throat, runs his teeth over the exposed ridge of her collarbone. Tempting to bite down, but he restrains himself. Look, touch, taste. No eating (though his heart aches with hunger) and no marks (she has opera tonight).

She tilts her head back, thick hair loose around her shoulders, and moans as he nibbles at the pulse in her neck. “Mmm, you’re a fox.”

He freezes.

Eliza opens her eyes, frowning. “What is it?”

Just an expression, Alex. Right. He shakes his head.

“Don’t tell me no one’s ever called you handsome,” she teases. He relaxes, feeling his way back to the fractured moment.

“I tend to let them know before they get the chance.”

She laughs. “You’re impossible.”

“Very,” he agrees. Just how impossible she has yet to discover: they’ve been dating since last semester, and he should warn her before she wakes up to find an actual fox in her bed. He doesn’t want to, though, not yet.

He nuzzles against her neck and she sighs. “Rehearsal.”

“Must you?” He nips at her pulse, making her shiver. “You could stay here.”

“I can’t believe the man who lives in a practice room is encouraging me to skip rehearsal.”

“I sleep here sometimes.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“I do! Ask John.”

“Are you that eager to be proven wrong?” She slips from his arms and gathers her things: coat, purse, opera score. “Besides, I can’t leave Laf alone with that many sopranos. It’ll go to his head.”

Alex pouts.

She kisses him on the tip of his nose. “You can come over later. I’ll text you.”

When she’s gone, he feels her absence inside him. He runs his tongue over his teeth, trying to catch her fading sweetness. Her magic - the same magic all humans have, the spark of talent or skill or wit that makes them fascinating to creatures like him - curls warm and gentle in his stomach like a mouthful of tea, enough to sharpen the edge of his hunger but not satisfy.

It makes his skin itch. He’s been human for too long, and it’s getting hard to hold onto the shape: a thin prickle shivers down his spine, the threat of coming undone. He pushes it aside and opens his laptop. He has a paper to write for Dr. Bartow’s class; after that, the promise of Eliza.

John comes back when Alex has reached fever-pitch, words burning at his fingertips as he hurtles towards his conclusion. Alex glances at him. “How was jazz band?”

“If I ever hear ‘Honeysuckle Rose’ again, I will personally challenge Fats Waller to a duel.” John hurls his backpack across the dorm room and sets down his saxophone case with utmost tenderness. “What are you doing here anyway? Isn’t tonight an Eliza night?”

“Opera rehearsal. Something about staging.” Alex pauses to stare at the screen, mulling over synonyms. “She’s gonna get me when it’s over.”

“Mm.” John flops next to him on the bed. “Have you told her?”

“Not yet.”

“Alex…”

“I will! I just… haven’t found the words.”

John gives him a flat look.

“Since when are you the reasonable one?”

“Since jazz band sucked out my soul.” John rolls onto his stomach. “You’re the one who came up with this arrangement, and part of the deal was communication.” His tone implies air-quotes around the last word. “I can’t keep going to Pancake Wednesday and not scream, ‘our Alexander is a fox!’”

“You should, it’d be funny.”

John swats him. Alex responds with a pathetic whine: not a human sound, but an effective one, as past domestic disputes have proven. It does little for him in the present. John sobers, his mouth turning down, eyes bright and earnest. He smells like gunpowder and citrus, tastes of overripe peaches.

“If you want this to work,” he says, “you can’t keep secrets. I get not spilling everything but this -”

Alex’s phone buzzes.

E: outside Morris Hall, meet me and i’ll drive. we can grab takeout?

“That’s Eliza.” Shutting his laptop, Alex pecks a kiss at John and catches a mouthful of curls. “See you in class.”

John grunts, burying his face in the mattress. “Talk to your girlfriend!”

“I will,” Alex promises, already moving out the door.

Later, he thinks. He’ll do it later.

***

Later comes sooner than he intended.

It looks more or less like this: him standing naked in the bedroom, arms folded across his chest, bushy tail tucked between his legs; Eliza staring at him, mouth fallen open, fisted hands clutching the sheets over her breasts. The last few minutes are a blur. He remembers her hands hot on him, her scent obliterating all thought.

He shivers.

“Oh God,” Eliza breathes. “You’re a fox.”

“It isn’t - don’t look at me like that - I can explain -”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of her. “Can you?”

“Well, I -” And here it is, the problem he’s been skirting for weeks. What is he supposed to say? I’m a magical creature who’s been feeding off your talent and kindness since we met, but it’s fine because I love you and would never eat your heart. Stupid Alex, stupid, for not shifting sooner, for thinking he could pass as human. He ducks his head, licks his lips nervously. “I could show you?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just gives in to the white noise buzzing under his skin. It’s easy, though not painless, like being transposed into another key. He shakes out his fur, pricks his ears, and draws on a bit of his allure, looking to Eliza for her reaction.

Her eyes widen. She relaxes her grip on the sheets, swings her legs over the edge of the mattress. “Kitsune,” she whispers.

A thrill runs through him at the naming. Names have power: she knows him for what he is, as well as what he calls himself. He lowers his ears and inches closer to her, wanting more than even he would have thought possible.

She holds out her fingers in the same way he’s seen her approach stray cats. Very carefully, so as not to startle, he noses at her hand and gives it a gentle lick. See? It’s me. Eliza lets out a trembling laugh and strokes his ears, her face lit with something like wonder. “Oh, Alexander.”

Okay, he’s past patiently waiting. In one fluid motion, he leaps onto the bed and squirms into Eliza’s lap. Blinks at her with the cuddle me? expression he’s perfected on John. She shakes her head but pulls him into her arms. “You ridiculous charmer.”

Alex nestles up against her, nibbles at her throat. She swats his muzzle. “I swear, you’re no different like this.”

He purrs.

She rubs his belly for a minute and then asks quietly, “Does John know?”

He lowers his eyes.

“You should have told me. Maybe not in the beginning, but when we realized this was going to be serious…” She sighs. “I want you to be able to trust me.”

Faeries don’t trust anyone - favors, promises, and agreements hold more weight than that transient concept - but Alex loves her and he thinks maybe that can mean the same thing. At least, he wants to take away the wrinkle between her brows, smooth it into a happier expression. He nuzzles at her chest and makes a drawn out whine.

Her mouth tugs into a smile. “I know, darling, but we’re still going to talk about it later. I think John should be included, too. We’ll go out for pancakes - no sense in breaking tradition.” She kisses the tip of his nose, just as she did earlier. “For now, we both have 8:00 AMs tomorrow. Let’s get some rest. That would be enough.”

#philly-osopher #obviously i went with the fluffier option #which turned out to be infinitely more difficult #anyway #obviously broom conservatory differs wildly from the base au in a number of ways #John and Alex and Eliza are a Thing #(oh look an elams fic) #there's a whole backstory but the main points are #a) they arrived here through mutual agreement and discussion #b) communication is important in any relationship(s) but esp. when one of the members is a fox faerie #c) Pancake Wednesdays are John and Eliza's scheduled time to talk and hang out apart from Alex #(they go to IHOP and gossip and eat lots of syrup) #(while Alex is in piano masterclass) #Fats Waller did indeed write Honeysuckle Rose #Oscar Peterson's Live at the Blue Note is my favorite version #broom conservatory au