#sometimes i just start talking to myself like im actually filming something

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

#story

[5urreal5weetz]

can i request the main 3 (separate) with a s/o that loves horror movies <3

A/N: Of course!-Im a bit of a horror movie lover myself. Favorite one is Jigsaw lol. :)

Main 3 with a Horror movie loving!S/O

_________

Hank

Oh you just found something that'll sit this guy down.

Blood, gore, screams of the damned, pain.

All his favorites.

He will actually pull you into his lap and make you have a marathon, if you ever suggest it.

I feel like he'll take notes, like notes on how to kill someone if he sees something he'd like to try. He would also like to impress you with it as well.

He will show off. Blood and guts glore.

You thought it'll be a cute little thing to ask if he'd like to watch a horror movie with you. He's being on missions a lot lately, and you wanted to spend sometime with him. But seeing him sit up close to the T.V., wrapped up in a blanket, staring intently at a gorey scene wasn't what you expected.

If you ever jump or get scared, and hide or grab him. He will keep his gaze on the screen. It won't leave it.

He'll just let you cling to him.

A scream erupted from the screen as a girl was being butchered, by a masked man. You leaned against Hank to hide your face from the screen, you weren't scared. You just didn't want to watch the cliche scene-Besides there was a lot of guts flying around.

Glancing up you just see Hank staring, unmoving at the screen.

"I feel like you're way more into these movies than I am."

"Shut up and watch the movie."

_________

Sanford

Sweet big guy, doesn't really like those type of films.

Tends to avoid them.

But if you suggest to watch it with him, he'll eventually give in.

He will end up talking a lot more than usual, to calm his nerves.

Jumpscares will get him, whether they were intentional or not. Poor guy will get scared at the sound of a pin dropping.

He will be staring at the screen nervously, preparing himself for one - And he just ends up jumping at the slightest touch from you bumping elbows.

You end up hiding or grabbing him from a scene you don't like, he'd hold you in a bit of vice grip because he going to do the same with you.

He maybe a killer, but horror movies ain't his thing. But for you, he'll make an exceptation.

"The movie haven't even started yet-"

You said, Sanford ended up dropping the bowl of popcorn after jumping at you pressing play. Apparently the volume was all the way up, and was loudly startling.

"I-I know, doll-Just lemme get clean this up."

_________

Deimos

I feel like he would be the type to be neutral face throughout a whole movie.

He won't be scared in the slightest, at all.

He'd causally pull out a smoke, while you suggest watching one of your favorite movies. He'd happily agree.

Quality time.

He would actually suggest a movie for you to watch. I feel like he'd enjoy Zombie type horror movies - Mainly due to the zeds. He gets to live it out killing zeds.

Like Hank, might take notes. But will never use them, due to him not remembering it later on.

If you cling to or hide on him, he will soak it up. And he will tease the absolute hell out of you.

He would offer himself as your personal shield, if the scene you don't like comes on. He won't say no.

Will flirt throughout the movie. Doesn't matter at what part the movie it is, he will flirt.

"Is it just me or do you just put these on, so we can cuddle?"

He said with a smug grin. You just gave him a deadpanned look, before burying your face in his chest. He was making the movie unwatchable.

"Shut up, Dei."

#madness hank #deimos x reader #x reader #hank j wimbleton x reader #madness combat #sanford x reader #madness combat x reader

[jyndor]

My guess is that “this is a first for me” now refers to the fact that Cassian’s never been in prison while awaiting execution. He’s been sent to prison for crimes not punishable by death (not that prison wasn’t its own death sentence, at least on Narkina 5) but he’s never been locked in a cell knowing he could get a blaster bolt between the eyes within hours of being locked up. The Partisans were almost certainly planning to execute him, Chirrut and Baze; they just had to clear it with Saw first. As a secondary qualifier, it could also refer to the type of prison; it’s probably the smallest cell he’s ever been in, and it’s in a cave instead of an incarceration facility.

lol okay so i really went in on this as is my mo, not because anything you said is wrong or whatever lol it's your opinion. but it's sparked Discourse in my head rip

i feel like since the show aired i just haven't been explaining myself clearly with this but i'll try: i don't care what headcanon someone uses to handwave a thing that doesn't track 100%. i do it when something just doesn't track to ME or when i feel like telling canon to fuck off lol askdhasjdh but people will use their headcanon explanations to tell folks canon is still consistent. it's NOT lol it's a retconnnnnn

this is why i don't like retcons generally speaking. it just isn't that hard to stick to what canon already says, and while this one isn't really important at all (like it's a comment cassian makes offhandedly and can easily be handwaved like this) i think writers should try to avoid retcons (not always, sometimes things should be retconned because they're trash? but usually yeah retcons are meh). and then when you've got like a relatively small fandom like rogue one's that has been going along with what we all thought was canon until the show aired, it's extremely aggravating to be told that oh actually what we thought was true (even though until a few months ago it was) is not true anymore and aren't we crazy for not seeing that??? not that you have said any of that btw im not talking about you lol.

like i shouldn't have to qualify things to make them make sense with the main piece of media - which rogue one is. andor is a prequel to rogue one. rogue one is not a sequel to andor. andor has the responsibility to track with rogue one because it's supplementary material for rogue one. plus rogue one came out first. i shouldn't have to do mental gymnastics to make little moments in rogue one still make sense. and luckily i can divorce andor from rogue one pretty well and handwave shit and come up with my interpretations like yours and other fans' but we shouldn't HAVE to. it isn't a high bar to meet to be consistent.

when i analyze media, i always start with an out-of-universe (doylist) approach. i look for preconceived notions that might have influenced the writing, i look for motivations and at the history of the writers, etc. and then i can more easily take an in-universe (watsonian) approach. it's just hard for me to ignore inconsistencies, writer biases, real world context etc. probably because i have ocd and i am very literal. that's a personal problem lmfao.

so i can't even get there with things like this because it's obvious to me that tony gilroy, who did not write the film, wanted to tell a great story. he wanted to write what he wanted to write and wasn't super concerned with it lining up 100% with the film in a literal way. and he did. i mean all gripes aside andor is a fabulous show. easily the best thing i've seen all year. but i've still got my gripes lmfao.

in this case i think it's understandable that he'd do that because it actually doesn't make a whole lot of sense that cassian wouldn't have gotten caught by someone at some point. it is more reasonable that he would have. and for someone like the cassian in the show who is certainly anti-imperial, has politics despite what other people in the show say, but is not necessarily radicalized, yeah it makes sense that being sent to prison based on some bullshit xenophobic profiling would radicalize him. that is me doing some in-universe analysis btw.

but let's not kid ourselves. it doesn't fit with that line. before the show aired, not a single viewer thought he was lying or on some obi-wan bullshit with the "certain point of view" thing at that moment. yes, he's a liar. yes, he's a spy.

chirrut, who knows cassian is a captain not because cassian tells him he is but because of the force lol (this is why cassian gives him a weird look like 'how the fuck do you know that???'), takes him at his word and then says 'there is more than one sort of prison' meaning that just because cassian hasn't been literally locked up, it doesn't mean he doesn't have things that hold him back or imprison him metaphorically. that's the whole point of that moment - and lol it's actually kind of a more insulting retcon than I initially thought because chirrut reads cassian extremely well throughout the film with the force. but apparently he doesn't because he takes cassian at his word on jedha.

when cassian is about to go assassinate galen and he's avoiding jyn's eyes and being all shady lol, the camera keeps panning to chirrut looking away from the rest of the group but with a very disgusted expression on his face. he tells jyn that 'the force moves darkly around a creature that is about to kill' when she is like ??? the fuck do you mean by does cassian look like a killer?????

my point is that chirrut has a very good understanding of cassian's vibes in the force. chirrut takes him at his word on jedha but he is visibly disgusted by cassian on eadu. cassian actually being in prison before jedha changes chirrut's connection to the force for me. hmm now i'm mad LOL.

we were not intended to think cassian was lying on jedha. we were however intended to catch how shifty cassian was being on eadu - not making eye contact with jyn in a very overt way, not making a whole lot of sense to anyone, chirrut's callout, baze's deliberate use of "he has the face of a friend" but not that he IS a friend (although he is <333) because again. spy. mask. lying. that's what baze and chirrut call out on eadu, and what makes jyn realize that she fell for cassian's deception. it's really important that chirrut's connection to the force is credible because otherwise lol okay he's just some guy who fights well. he's not that - he's a guardian of the whills and his connection to the force is undeniable if not defined.

cassian's lying on eadu until he has his moment of truth. it's a different feel than his interactions with everyone else on jedha (although when he's talking to jyn about meeting tivik's sister he deliberately doesn't make eye contact).

cassian makes eye contact when he's being honest - the hangar scene, the eadu fight with jyn (which... lol im not even going there right now), definitely on scarif a number of times and most notably in the elevator. when he's lying, he gets avoidant.

that's a deliberate choice by the writers, director and diego ofc. in 2015/2016.

cut to 2020/2021 or whatever and tony gilroy, who did an immense amount of work on rogue one with the reshoots (allegedly mostly in the 3rd act of the film although that first scene with cassian is all him lol - also side note why couldn't he have cut the bor gullet smdh) to the point that he got a screenwriter's credit because of SWG(? the union idk) rules (totally fair of course, but i think a lot of people don't know that he didn't literally write the film or create cassian lol), is writing the best story he can and isn't really worrying about how much it tracks with minutiae from the film or like idk what pablo hidalgo wrote in guidebooks lol (pretty sure that's where the fest thing came from as well as him being 26 and jyn being 22? but also i mean im not sure if that hadn't been decided by the writers of the film).

i mean you'd have to ask him but im sure he'd say as much - that he wanted to tell a great story and as long as it was mostly consistent or could be considered consistent with who cassian will be in rogue one, it's easily handwaved or explained. and yeah that's true for most people but unfortunately for me i'm neurodivergent as hell with a hyperfixation on this dumb film and plus i have severe ocd so i notice discrepancies. and they annoy me.

i wanna be clear: i don't think this is the most egregious retcon of the show. not at all. but i'd like people to acknowledge that it is a retcon and that no, gareth edwards and chris weitz and gary whitta did not intend for cassian to be like "well actually what i meant is that technically, i have been imprisoned but i wasn't sentenced to death" or whatever reason we may now individually use to make it make sense. and i don't see a problem with doing that - i literally make headcanon all the time because canon ends in a way im sad about LOL. but this is headcanon. because canon doesn't track with itself.

also just a note: personally i think it's pretty clear cassian knows that narkina COULD be a death sentence. cassian understands narkina is dangerous as hell from the moment he steps his bare foot onto that metal floor. they fry people. he's smart, to me he knows it's a potential death sentence. but that's just my interpretation of the show.

i think the best way to handwave this retcon is to say cassian hasn't been imprisoned by rebels before or by alleged allies. or maybe in service of the rebellion.

*and cassian recognizes chirrut's force-ishness immediately, which is why he asks if he's a jedi. (it's why im like lol everyone just shut up about cassian not knowing what jedi are, i don't need an explanation for how he learns about them. i don't need them to make a big thing of whether or not cassian knows what jedi are because of course he does, jedi are in fact extremely well known in the galaxy and this is an area where im like tony gilroy stay on your lane XD)

#meta #asks #answered #jedi-valjean #star wars andor #andor critical #fandom critical

[destinygoldenstar]

TW: This video has a nude image. This is one of the most unapologetically real films I’ve ever watched. And this is easily the scene that spoke to me the most. I too have Asperger’s syndrome. I was diagnosed when I was thirteen after a sensory overload in school that got me in trouble. I was lucky to have parents love me and support me and take the time to understand me. But I had nothing short of a miserable school life, where I was not only pressured and stressed to tears, but I was heavily bullied and abused for my condition. It wasn’t just kids finding it funny when I was miserable, or finding me stupid for not understanding a joke, or pretending to be my friend to solidify that I was lesser than the people around me. It was also adults letting me know just how wrong and broken I was, screaming at me for having questions, denying to help me, punishing me for not doing something fast enough, or even punishing me for looking at something weird. And when quarantine started and I attempted to break free from my horrible school life, I was grounded for an entire season, and my mom told me that the problem was always me for not being able to do what normal kids could do. I grew very hostile towards my peers as a result of betrayals and abuse, finding solitude in being a part of nothing for the longest time, and if you knew me back then, you’d know me as an odd kid who paced around for no reason, didn’t need glasses but wore them anyway, and was sarcastic, snarky, and hot tempered to be unpleasant to be around. If you knew me back then, you would hate me. I didn’t gain friends until my senior year in high school.

Im one of those autistic people who don’t struggle too much with showing their emotions. For a long time, I had to bottle up my anxiety attacks because whenever I had them, people found it funny or punished me for having them. My guidance lessons were ‘don’t be angry’ ‘don’t be anxious’ ‘just ignore it all’. And I tried to cry at night, alone, hoping no one noticed. Sometimes they didn’t. And around my sophomore year I got heavily sick from it, seemingly for dumb reasons, I felt like I was the problem and was a garbage human being. I had moved away from that abusive environment and taken to a much more comforting state and home life, and I felt like I didn’t deserve any of it because ‘I was a problem’. It was only then that my mom understood and got me the help I needed. And then in my final year of school, I could begin a healing process. I could find much more positive ways to fit into society and see the benefits in myself. Like my writing, and my skills in the theater. I excelled at stuff like that in ways other people didn’t. My habit of need for constant movement really helped my health physically, and I could be a runner if I wanted to.

I have a partner in my life now and we’ve been dating for over two years now. She was autistic, like me. It actually started out as a childhood friendship nearly eight years before we fell in love. Talk about slow burn. She moved away to another country, but we made a promise to never lose contact. And we never did. She became my own Mary over the time we were apart. Our communication was about stuff we found enjoyment in, like our own writing, or media we liked, and the people around us never understood it, found it ‘not chemistry’. We grew to ignore them because it made us happy and that’s all that mattered. She was there for me in my lowest points, and I was there for hers. She’s chronically ill. She was hospitalized just a year after our separation, and only now is she starting to recover and get better. Back then it just got worse and worse for her and she became depressed to suicidal thoughts. She claimed I was the one who saved her life. Then a year before we would finally see each other again, I noticed her feeling more for me. But I didn’t let it surface because I didn’t know how I felt at the time. I was always someone who very openly rejected love with no hesitation, and it was one of the things I was bullied for. Then half a year before we would see each other again, she accidentally told me she was in love with me. So I guess she confessed first?? Or, I was the first one to do it on purpose, because I called it out, and returned it. And so I begged my family to move down the country, where she was, to see her again, and we did. And that vacation was where we had our first kiss. After I had come out to my parents for being an asexual lesbian, (I didn’t realize the asexual part until I was in my senior year where someone pointed it out.) we officially moved a few months later, and we could proceed with a healing process and a happier life. And not only for me, but for her, as now she is beginning to heal from her many illnesses and form a healthier lifestyle since we got together.

A life where I could see the positives in myself and see that my Asperger’s was never the problem, it was how people treated me. I was not lesser then. People might not understand me, but how I communicated and what I felt was valid. And I could do great things with that I could do.

So when people say your functioning of your brain is wrong or less than an average person,

“I do not like it when they say that. I do not feel disabled, defective, or a need to be cured. I like being an aspie. It would be like trying to change the color of my eyes.”

Please, watch Mary & Max. This movie is so uncomfortably real, especially for people like us. It’s not an easy watch, but I feel like it’s a necessary watch. I wish I saw this movie sooner than I did, when I needed it the most.

#mary and max #tw nudity #personal growth #aspergers #aspergers syndrome #neurodiversity #autism #autistic representation #autism spectrum disorder #neurodivergent pride #neurodivergent positivity #personal story #Youtube

[ophernelia]

hi i just wanted to ask if you could go more in depth about your creative process? how much work goes into lykaia and making content for other things like your logo etc. im making sims content too and i want to improve on it and make my stuff more original. so people know its me when i post. and i also wanted to say i saw you say before about not stepping on other creators toes and as a small creator i really appreciate that because i feel like a lot of people don’t make space for other people. sometimes everything feels like a competition in the sims community and that’s why other creators don’t like to give credit to people they actually get influenced by because they don’t want their numbers to grow only they own. And most time i don’t even want to post because of that

Hmmm. I’ll talk about my creative process for sure. I like talking about my creative process lol. It’s gonna be long tho so.. you asked for it.

Background: Lykaia at its core is just a cinematic version of my gameplay save. I had a story in my head while I played their household, but it was never fully planned out. The first season of Lykaia was just me practicing with storytelling and machinima making. I didn’t really have any direction. I just made things up as I went. Lou’s friends never existed in my gameplay save. I just made them for the machinima. A lot of it was just finding my footing as I went. What the story has become now, I never planned. It sorta just happened. As it is now, Lykaia’s a fully planned out series with a brittle back bone lol. It’s a whole lot of making something out of nothing.

Planning the Series & Making It: So, I have a full outline for the season. Where I want to go and how that can be developed on further. From that, I plan out the episodes. Right now I have a week where I film and a week off from filming. On my off week, I write the script. Scene by scene. I storyboard it to visualize how I want each scene to look. Once the script is done after a draft or two, then I start setting for filming. I get everyone dressed, moved into the households, and get the sets built. On the week I film, I just go in and film. I try to go in order of scenes but sometimes I jump around. Especially if I’m excited to film a scene. I do about two scenes a day. They take about an hour or so to film each. (I’ve got a full time job, a fur baby to care for, my family, and my social life so my time to work on it is limited. I try to budget it wisely.) Then I usually edit while I’m in bed or cooking. I edit on my phone so I’m not carrying around my pc lol. Editing takes the longest and it’s the most tedious part. I go in and add in the into, outro, title card, then I add in the scenes and the breaks. If I have to overlay something then I do that before audio. And the. I color grade each scene individually. Last thing to do is audio. I hate audio. I break it up scene by scene and mix some of the music myself depending on the episode. Once I do a quick check, the episode is done and ready to export. Sometimes I pick the title beforehand, but I usually don’t come up with a name until after the full episode is done.

The Brand: Ophernelia and Kiricheu are a brand. (Ophernelia being like the parent company in a sense) Especially Ophernelia since I have a Patreon for it. I run Ophernelia as a sole proprietor, so branding is important for me. Anything I have my hand in, I take seriously. (“It’s just sims content” Sure. For now at least. Doesn’t mean ima take it any less seriously lol) Especially since I’ve curated an audience and one that pays. Idc if it’s $2. It’s money spent, so I want my audience to get quality content. Branding’s been tough because I’m super indecisive lol. I like to change things up constantly but when it comes to like a company type of thing, you shouldn’t really do that. Which is why I hate changing mine. Especially once I find something that works. It makes me feel like I’m failing my audience by not being consistent. As of now though, I love my branding. I feel like it reflects my content style really well. It took a few tries to make. I looked through old art I’ve done and tried to combine it with my current style. Somehow I came up with how it looks currently. I think it’s pretty, I wanna stick with it. It took a while to get here, but 8 months later, here we are. I’ve been trying to rely a little less on external programs (like canva) and more on me actually making my stuff myself. So I hopped into procreate and got to work lol.

Ultimately, I just make stuff I like and sometimes I like to share it with other people. And when I do share it, I try to do it to the best of my ability and while trying to be mindful of others. It’s hard and idk if I do it well but I’m trying! The process of getting there is almost always enjoyable. Almost lol.

#text post #asks

[imagine-that-100]

what’s your writing process? i’ve been reading all your books on wattpad and they’re amazing, im trying to write one myself and curious how you think of different ideas and all that! any advice or tips would be great :))

Hey! Thanks so much for reading! I love that you wanna write some fic I love that! So my writing process it a little odd. I don’t know why but I find dialogue the easiest so I write out the conversations first as I picture it like a film playing in my head. Written down it ends up looking mental because I don’t usually even write who’s saying it, I just end up remembering when I reread 😂 but after I’ve got the scenes dialogue down I usually then go back through and fill it out with the ‘he said’ bits and the context of everything. It is a little backwards but that’s how I find it easiest. Sometimes I’ll fill out the conversation first and then link the different sections of it together with more context.

My advice would be, think of the overall idea that you already want. Don’t be afraid to just write the bits that you’re most excited to get to first. I had the dialogue for the argument in The Birthday Party in @nriacc written before chapter 1 of that story. Same for the games night in Holiday, I had that written before the beginning because that fic idea started off like omg games night with Alex turner and I ran with it and gave it so much context it went from a oneshot to the full fic it is 😂

Ideas wise, I wrote Holiday because I saw a picture of Alex and Jamie playing a game of humbug or whatever it was. NRIACC someone legit sent me an ask after I’d been talking about both lads saying how I would love for those two to fight over me and I ran with it. Drunk was from the picture that’s not of Matty but some guy that someone photoshopped Matty’s tattoos on and he was half fallen out of the bath with sunglasses on. And CSD was because me and @alovesreading said omg imagine a date where they actually do kiss and now we’re 5 parts deep into what was going to be a 2 parter😂 but I get inspo from songs and tv shows or films sometimes. Different scenarios too that just pop up and I’m like ooo I like that dynamic how do I write it. Just let your imagination run free.

I would probably reccomend doing a oneshot first to practice it and then if you think of more ideas to do another part or two, great. If not no pressure. That’s how Conversation, Drunk, CSD, and Holiday all happened. The only one I fully intended to be a long fic was NRIACC so just don’t put any pressure on yourself. I don’t know if any of that was useful but I would say mainly write the scenes/sections you’re excited about or if you prefer leave it as something you can build towards to give you motivation to write but for me if I get stuck at the beginning I write what I’m eager to and then go back. I hope this helped, message me if you (anyone) wants any help and please link me your fic if you post I would be delighted to read 💜

#100s asks #i hope this helps

[enrapture]

Since I’ve failed to keep in touch on certain social medias like this one that I used to be on all the time, I wanted to do a lil update.

I will try to make this as short as I can. (I failed)

I’ve been taking time to reevaluate, work through, come to an understanding and acceptance of certain things. Trying to change within myself & ask myself questions and take my time figuring things out as I tend to be my own worst critic. Trying to move more with love, openness, respect, understanding and honesty are the core elements I desire in life. I will not settle for less but at the same time I will remember that imperfections make us human. No one, thing, is perfect. Everyone fucks up. It’s okay. everyone goes at their own pace in life unless chosen otherwise. Obv depends on the situation but yeah. Moving on… I feel like if I don’t say what comes to mind I’ll forget and it will eat at me if I don’t talk about it or I’ll remember it later and then I’ll talk about it but now it’s too late and it’s considered out of context and then I’m looked at like HUH. So yeah I’m a bit of a mess. LOL.

God I say so much detailed shit that makes 0 sense lmao. This is all a jumbled mess but go on keep reading if you give a shit. ily, for those that take the time to get me, understand my scattered thought brain. You’re dope. Thank you. Anyway, It’s all about within yourself. Feeling your feelings. Experiencing things and surrounding yourself with similar <good> natured people. With Happiness blooms in the bones so to speak. Just doing. Just being. Just flowing. So it goes. Figuring out what I want out of life currently, the people I want to be surrounded by, and work on my mental health. Work on things because I want to and try to become a better person overall. (Speaking of mental, mine hasn’t at all been the best or the easiest this year. taking it one day at a time. Is the nicest way I can put it.Adhd/Depression/anxiety are difficult to juggle.) I know as time goes by life won’t be easy. Trying to accept that. realizations can be impactful. Making actual decisions instead of procrastinations as well as learn and practice accepting things for how they are. For what they were. And not make excuses. I’m working on a lot haha. I’m <trying> to get back into various hobbies such as (art, writing, poetry, photography) as of late all I’ve been doing is working, planning for New York, going out and about, watching films/shows, listening to music, once in a blue moon playing video games (im waiting on my monitor to come in since mine just stopped working for no reason. It’s a Samsung thing HAHA just trust, I’m not the only one it happened to unfortunately) and reading with my time.

For those who don’t know I’m visiting New York for the first time in two weeks and I’m (most likely) moving there in the beginning of the year. Maybeeeee around my birthday (Jan 28th) I dunno yet as of current. But Im thinkin about going to school sometime after everything is settled. I’m taking some time to figure out what I want to do rn. I know I want to take a few classes in art, do something in regards with cinema, maybe do somethin with coding/graphic design??? Idk I have a few things in mind. I just need to take time after running around like a madman getting the house ready/myself ready, work currently and work on balance 🤍🖤 try to not be up in the clouds too long ya feel? I’ve got goals and I’m working at em one day at a time. :,) it’s hard but I think it will all work out in the way it will and it will all make sense eventually. For the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful.

It’s a new start. A new beginning. I’m nervous/excited. More growing, learning shitsy shits to do~

Authenticity is sexy. Consideration. Reciprocation. Communication & understanding is sexy. Taking the time to figure yourself out as well as others is sexy. The realization of truly Highs and lows - flaws and growth not being stuck in one or the other for too long despite them are sexier.

Romanticize •positivity• into your life.

And if you’re going through shit, know that it will work itself out soon. Easier said than done, but it will. Everything will make sense in time. Give yourself that time. 💛

As someone who’s been through a lot of unspeakable but some speakable hell, who gets it, trust me you’re meant to be here.

If there’s a sign, this is it.^ stay. Continue on. But yeah update Im probably most likely moving LMAO.

Okay, Phew.

#mine #tbh #personal #thoughts #update

[house-of-slayterr]

Some Basil on the Side:

Tag: @howl-fantasies @keffirinne @flaysthings

Basil's POV:

I received a call on my phone from an old colleague of mine. I stared down at it for a while, debating if I should answer. But it seems the choice would be made for me.

"Basil, you can't just let your phone ring, it's annoying, please answer it or put it on silent," Maggie said sweetly.

We had been hanging out all day, Y/N had asked me to keep an eye on her, and get to know her first hand. I sometimes forget this girl was a few years older than me, because she certainly never acted like it. Of course, she knew when to take things seriously, and she had her moments where she could be intimidating when she needed to, but she just had this childlike nature about her. Like my sister does.

"Sorry, zoned out." I lied.

She raised a brow at me, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"Want me to pause the movie, or leave the room?"

And there it was, the adult im her, the part of her that actually respected people's privacy. If there was one thing I learned quickly about Magnolia, is that she was good for keeping secrets. Even when people attempted to torture them out of her.

"No, it's fine. I'll head off to the other room, fill me in when I get back?"

She nodded, a look of scepticism masking he features.

"Alright, but if you take too long, you'll miss the best part of the film!"

The child was back. I watched as she flopped back down on the couch, wrapping the blanket around herself, with a smile on her face. It was sort of adorable. I gave her a small smile and dismissed myself from her presence. None of the names on my phone was visible, something Y/N taught me. You never wanted someone to have the advantage of knowing who you were talking to. And I was glad in the moment, I had listed. I know she didn't mean it, but Maggie was one of those people that would accidentally read a text over your shoulder because she'd forget it wasn't her own phone. I called the number back.

"Hello," I spoke, not much to indicate my tone.

"Basil, hey are you busy, we could use your help on a case. Felicity found Darhk's place of hiding, and now is the best time for us to catch him off guard."

I thought it over for a minute, the name sounded familiar, but I hadn't kept up with the ins and out of Star City, only monitoring the major threats. I'd grown to care for the company of Thea and Felicity, and I suppose Jon and his wife weren't that bad. But Oliver got on my nerves at the best of times, I hated pretending to care for him. He was spontaneous and it put the team at risk, he was a god-awful leader. But it was for the best, at least for now, to keep an eye on Maggie's family, when she couldn't. I wonder when was the last time Oliver even called her to check in?

"Sorry, whose Damien again? Things have been wild here, it's hard to keep track of all your villains." I didn't mean for my tone to slip, the sass coming through. I must have leeched the trait from Maggie.

"He was in the Lauge of Assasins, he's on a major power trip right now that could kill most of the people in the city, and he won't stop at Star."

Fuck. He was one of those delusions of grandeur-type villains. always wanting more than they have. I couldn't ignore this. And I couldn't leave Oliver and his team to just die, if Maggie ever found out, she'd never forgive me. And Y/N would just be disappointed, not to even get started on what Kara and Alex would think.

"How much time do we have before he makes a move?"

"Three days at max, think you can get here in time?"

"I can make arrangements, Oliver-"

"Yes?" He questioned, sounding wearing.

"Call your sister." "I'm not bringing Thea into this, she's away on something."

"Not Thea, the other one. If things go wrong- If this Damien is as powerful as you say...." I trailed off.

I couldn't let him know I was with her. He had no idea we'd ever met. But he and Thea talked about her enough, it was not odd for me to bring her up.

"Right, thank you for that. I sometimes forget to include her in things."

"She a big girl, she can handle it. But I doubt anyone would be happy if their brother who never talks to them, died tragically."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Zor El."

I rolled my eyes, I remember now where Maggie got her childishness form.

"I'm being realistic, Queen, you should try it sometime."

I hung up the phone, more than done with the conversation. I squeezed the phone in my hand, hearing the crack of the glass and sighed. Y/N wouldn't be happy about this, but I had to go. And I couldn't explain to Maggie where I was going. I walked back into the room, Maggie was still rolled up in a bundle on the couch. Oswald had dedicated this whole room to others, not ever watching movies much himself. It had all her favourite things in it. I tossed my now broken phone on the coffee table and sat next to her.

"Shit dude, the fuck happened to your phone?"

She shot up, reaching for it. I didn't mean to, but on instinct, I snatched it away from her. I quickly corrected myself, giving her a half-baked answer.

"I dropped it?"

She dramatically reached over to the remote and paused the movie, staring at me like I was the most interesting thing in the world.

"For someone who's trained by Y/N, you lie like a Luther."

I was caught off guard by her comment, when had she met any of the Luthers? Though she was right, Lena was the only one who was decent at lying in that family. Of course, she couldn't hide from me, no matter how hard she tried to fool herself into believing it, I could see right through her. But she wasn't intentionally being two-faced, so I let it slide.

"I may have smashed it." I sighed.

"Jesus, who called you, the pope? I'm sorry your one call was that shit."

I laughed at her choice of words.

"What is it with you and the Pope?"

"Have you seen him, he has a pointy hat! Only wizards wear pointy hats!" She joked.

"You sound just like Victor." She placed a hand on her heart in mock defence.

"Victor wishes he was as cool as me. He and stick his whole fist in his mouth!" She bragged.

"I'm not sure that's the accomplishment you think it is."

She somehow always knew how to lighten the mood, it was a gift she had. I'd even witnessed her calm one of Oswald's infamous tantrums in a matter of minutes. Not even Y/N could do that. And I was glad she did because nobody wanted to hear that man go on another tirade about how nobody in Gotham respects him as Mayor.

"Feeling better?" She asked, with a smile on her lips.

It was so rare o see a genuine smile with the people I work with. Y/N rarely ever smiled, unless she was killing someone with one of her favourite guns. Victor loved to smile at beheadings, and Oswald only smile if he was beating the shit out of someone with his bat, or sitting near Maggie. I don't understand how she had such a calming effect don't the people she was near. A literal war could be waging all around us, and she'd still have that stupid naive smile on her face.

"Yes, thank you." I stole a handful of popcorn from her bowl.

"Basil, you want my advice?"

I looked at her, signalling for her to continue.

"Stop being so serious all the time. Were young, were supposed to be stupid and make mistakes, lots of mistakes at this age. Gotham is no place for stuck-up, compulsive assholes." "Oh, so I'm a stuck-up compulsive asshole?" I asked.

"Yeah, but you're our stuck-up compulsive asshole, and we love you for it. But sometimes you just need to be a kid. I tell the same thing to Brucie all the time, perhaps we should get you, Selena."

Her eyes lit up at her last sentence. I didn't like the smirk at replaced her innocent smile, this was far too sinister.

"What are you plotting?"

"We need to get you a Selena, shouldn't be hard to get you, girlfriend, with that face."

She ruffled my hair and I swatted at her hand.

"Yeah, I'll pass."

"Boyfriend?" She asked.

"What? No! Well, maybe, but that's not what I meant. I don't need to date anyone."

"I disagree, you have the face of a boy who hasn't been laid in far too long. It's making your brain all adult and functional, it's gross. We need to knock you down to the rest of our levels. Joint he dumb bitch horny club my friend."

"Who's the leader, Victor?" I mused.

"Oh for sure, Man can't think straight for days after Y/N is done with him."

I laughed for a moment, before composing myself.

"Hey, I've gotta go somewhere for a few days, might be out more than a week. Try not to burn the house down, or let Oswald cause another riot while I'm gone?" I asked.

"Secret agent stuff?" she asked.

She said it like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like she hadn't actually witnessed me kill several thugs just weeks ago.

"Yeah, secret agent stuff."

"Yeah yeah, I get it, antihero man, go save the world or whatever you gotta do. But were watching Texas Chainsaw Massecure when you get back, you walked out on House of Wax, and for that sin, I don't think the gods will forgive you."

"The gods can bite my ass," I said, brushing off her comment.

I could tell she was hurt by me messing up movie night, but she tried her best to hide it. She enjoyed participating in mundane tasks as if she went being held against her will by three very dangerous psychopaths. Y/N still had her grounded, Oswald wouldn't let her leave the mansion without supervision. I was dreading this tip more than anything I had in a while.

Maggie's POV:

I stared at the spot he left on the couch. We'd only known each other for a short while, but it felt like I'd known him forever. Like Bruce, he just fit in my life somehow. I knew I would be bored while he was gone, everyone was working hard to keep Oswald safe while the idiots in the city tried to overthrow him again. But that's when I remembered the letter. It was still in my bag. Victor was handing around in Oswald's office today, I was pretty sure. Y/N was out doing most of the heavy lifting, as she was mad at him for something again, and needed to blow off steam.

I debated if I should go through it for a second, but my curiosity got the better of me. It would be rude to withhold this information from Victor, and the longer I waited, the more likely he was to get mad. So I crept into the room, knocking before entering to see him bopping his head to some ABBA. Classic Vic, Oswald had him on paperwork duty today and he hated it.

"Need some help with that?"

"What, done playing teens with Basil?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You're just mad 'cause I get along with everyone."

He sighed a noise that didn't often fall from Victor's lips.

"Did you need something? Oswald decided to be a pain in my ass today, and I'm very busy."

I fidgeted with my hands, I always got nervous when he looked at me like that. By now, I should trust that Vic would never hurt me, but Gothamites were always unpredictable, he was one of the worst examples of it.

"Magnolia?" She said, a bit harshly.

"Right, sorry. Umm- here, just take this."

I shoved it in his chest and promptly left the room. It didn't feel right to be there when he read it, even if I did really want to know what the stupid letter said. I waited outside the door, listening in for any signs of anger or upset, but Victor was quiet, scarily quiet. I waited a few more seconds until the door opened.

"You can come back in now Little Mouse," Victor said, his usually somehow flat, yet sing-song tone was back.

I skittered back into the room, shutting the door behind me, and leangn against it. I waited for him to speak first. He made no effort to look at me.

"How long did you have this?" He asked, still looking at the letter.

"Only a couple days, I totally forgot about it. That was my mistake. I brought it to you as soon as I remembered."

He looked at me finally, checking for any signs that I was lying. I wasn't telling the full truth, but I did really forget about it. With so much going on and meeting Basil, it's all been a bit chaotic since I got back. I haven't been able to sleep much, since I still had my connection to Grodd. His thoughts and pain kept me awake at night. But nobody could learn about that.

He tapped the letter against Oswald's desk, something I'd seen him do with his knives, many times. That was never a good sign. He was upset, and Y/n and Basil weren't here to save me. I took a deep breath preparing for the worst.

"Did you read it?"

"No. It was addressed to you, I wouldn't do that. Besides, opening someone else's mail is a federal crime."

He chuckled darkly under his breath.

"So is blackmailing the mayor, Little Mouse, but that didn't seem to stop you from manipulating and using our Little Penguin." He mused.

"Blame your wife for that one, she's the one who taught me."

He actually smiled at that, one of his rare, genuine smiles. He came around the edge of the desk and sat at the edge, patting it for me to come over.

"You want to know what is said, don't you?"

I nodded slowly, trying to decipher if it was a trap or not. But it appeared to be safe. He cleared his throat.

"I'm watching your back since you forgot to watch mine."

"Ok?"

"Signed. V.M. Zsasz" He finished.

My eyes widened. There was no way, but I suppose when I look back at it, it made a lot of sense. The way she was able to sneak in and out of my apartment with ease, her lack of fear or sense of danger, and even the way she talked reminded me of him. But she did look like him, I thought it was just an odd coincidence, my tired mind playing a trick on me. He observed me for a moment, he was surprisingly good at reading people, despite what everyone else thought. Victor Zsasz wasn't some bonehead, he was convening and cunning, and dangerously perspective when he wanted to be.

"You saw her, didn't you?"

I nodded once more.

"She was in my place, looking for you. I would have mentioned it sooner, but I was kinda... busy."

"What does she look like?" He asked.

His tone was almost scared, childlike. It was offputting, to say the least. The great Victor Zsasz, acting like a child who was just scolded by a parent. I chuckled softly.

"A lot like you actually, just with a bit more hair." I poked fun at him.

His goofy grin reappeared, the one he got when he was listing to his disco playlist when it was just the three of us.

"She even has your smile." I complimented, lightly hitting his shoulder.

He paused for a moment.

"I know that look."

"What look?"

"The look you get when you want to interfere with other people's lives. Remember when you tried to set up Oswald and Ed? Or Bruce and Selena..."

I blushed slightly, I didn't realise how often I did that. Perhaps it was because I was so lonely in my life, I didn't want to see anyone else feel the way I do. They all deserved better than that, killers or not.

"You want my advice, don't do whatever you're planning. It's not worth it, just leave it alone."

He stood up, going back to work.

"Your child isn't worth it?" I asked, bewildered.

I didn't mean for it to come out so judgmental. I just couldn't see how he wouldn't want to get to know her. Especially since she was attempting to reach out. Y/N and him always jokingly called me and Basil their children, but he had actual blood out there. I'd give anything to remember mine. How could he spend time with me, yet day she doesn't matter?

"No." He said simply.

"Bullshit!" I hopped off the desk turning to him.

"Excuse me?" He asked, in a warning tone.

"You heard me Zsasz! I'm calling your fucking bluff!"

"I'm going to gently remind you who you're talking to. The only reason I can't kill you is that Oswald would have my head. But that doesn't mean I can't hurt you and blame it on someone else. You are rather clumsy."

I rolled my eyes. Statements like that didn't scare me anymore.

"You don't scare me, Victor, if you wanted me dead, I'd have been six feet under by now. I understood that a long time ago, and I know sure as shit, Oswald Copplepot wouldn't stop you. He didn't stop you when you killed Sofia Falcone."

He stiffened at the mention of her name. It wasn't his proudest moment, and it nearly cost him Y/N. Sure, it was low for me to go there, but the truth hurts.

"So tell me, why are you hiding from this like some scared coward? You are many things Vic, but a namby-pamby isn't one of them. What's at stake here?"

"I can't!" He yelled.

"Can't... or won't?"

He turned away from me.

"You know, Y/N had a child once too..." He stated.

I froze, that was not something I ever expected to hear. Y/N, and actual mother?

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"But after what happened to it, Carmine forced me to make a choice. He didn't think it was worth the distraction. So either I got rid of her, or he did, permanently. I tried to kill her, I really did, but then she looked at me with those big eyes, and I couldn't do it."

It didn't surprise me that Victor attempted to kill his own child. But the fact that he admitted he couldn't, that she was his weakness. The more I learned about Carmine Falcone, the less I liked him. He took everything from Y/N and Victor when they gave him their everything in return. He was a much worse boss than Oswald, at least our sociopath had a heart. One that was still beating.

"I was gonna shoot her, make it quick... but I just couldn't pull the trigger. So I took her somewhere far away and hoped she would never discover how her father was. But I guess I failed at that too."

He rubbed his brow, I'd never seen him stressed like that before. I did something most people want bold neogh to do, I made my way around the desk and pulled him into a hug.

"Falcone is gone Victor, and I won't let a corpse control your life anymore. You're not a robot Vic, despite the limited range of emotions you can feel, you're not weak for feeling them. You're gonna meet your daughter if it's the last thing I do." I declared.

He rolled his eyes at my theatrics.

"You're a good egg, you know that right?"

I smiled at his strange compliment. It was the most Victor thing he'd said all day.

It would be my new mission, something to distract me from the chaos of my own life. The pain of losing Butch and Tabitha, the guilt of leaving Grodd behind. Neglecting Jim, and bruce... maybe I really was becoming a villain. As if to break up the awkward tension, from Victor's inability to cry, my phone rang. I looked down to see Oliver's face pop up on the caller ID.

"Shit, I gotta take this! We're not done with this conversation, ok?"

I left Victor to finish his work for the day, and process his own thoughts. What the fuck could Oliver possibly want right now?

An: Ahhhh! The mystery girl is finally revealed, you'll get a name drop soon. I'm so excited to see where I go with this series. I just use fan suggestions and whatever unholy plot devices come to mind. But I love the little storyline we've created together.

#maggie #magnolia #magnolia blossom #gotham #gotham imagine #gotham villains #my ocs #fang writes #gotham x reader #Basil Zor El

[defonotacat]

Top 10 works of fiction ask? 👉🏻👈🏻

fuck this is hard for me without any order, it would probably have to be WTC Series - Ryukishi07: kinda obvious considering my blog. It covers all my favorite genres and it has relatable characters (i already know what you're gonna say.) (still need to start ciconia but i keep not finishing other things so i need to finish those first) Madoka Magica - Gen Urobuchi: lesbians, time loops and tragedy. honestly what more can you ask for. homura best girl (love them all tho) Neon Genesis Evangelion - Hideaki Anno: with my current list so far and including this i couldn't even lie about being mentally stable (not that anyone would believe a yasu is). eva is a series i hold really close to my heart. its focus on more introspective things rather than on the actual robot fights themselves led to me realizing and accepting some things about myself and for that i will always love it. K-On - Kakifly: not all my favorites are dark and emotionally driven, sometimes i just need a simple comedy to enjoy and laugh at. what can i even say about k-on other than haha funny light music club go brrrrrr. Spider-Man - Marvel: i have my fair share of issues with everything modern when it comes to superhero shit but everything pre 2006 of spider-man i still adore. compared to all the heroes on the level of gods and idols theres something special about an ordinary guy who got his powers by chance and still has to deal with the same struggles regular people face. Girls Last Tour - tkmiz: pretty simple series of a pair of girls and their lives at the end of the world. made me laugh. made me cry. truly wonderful series. (tkmiz's shimeji simulation will probably join this list but i wanna see where it goes further first. still deserves a mention tho.) Shin Godzilla - Hideaki Anno: i love this kaiju to death so ofc i had to put the greatest godzilla movie on this list. with a return to godzilla as a destructive force of nature as opposed to a semi hero type figure the american films have been trying and a new take with a constantly evolving monster, shin godzilla mixes new and old for a spectacle that can be taken both at face value and a little deeper. Devilman Crybaby - Masaaki Yuasa: (never read the devilman manga so idk if im missing out on anything) truly a beautiful series that says a lot about human nature and discrimination of people for being "different." would recommend to anyone Serial Experiments Lain - Yasuyuki Ueda: why yes i do have a thing for weird thought provoking shows. they're just so good. lain probably is the weirdest one i have on here but that adds to the intriguing nature of it. its hard for me to really talk about it without going too much into weird spoilery shit but funky internet girl. Chainsaw Man - Tatsuki Fujimoto: epic action series with devils and some horror elements and characters to get way too attached to. check out the manga or the anime later this year idk. its mappa so i expect it to be good. in conclusion im a huge weeb who likes things that make me think

#when they cry #umineko #higurashi #umineko when they cry #higurashi when they cry #madoka magica #neon genesis evangelion #evangelion #k on #k-on #spider man #spider-man #spiderman #girls last tour #tkmiz #godzilla #shin godzilla #gojira #devilman #devilman crybaby #serial experiments lain #lain #chainsaw man

[pinkcherryblossomangel]

Away from home - chapter 4

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

When she starts missing home and the darkness creeps upon her, her hotel neighbour comes to her rescue.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

But the other boys do make appearances it's just easy to keep to minimum of characters lol

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

He's gonna be here in like 20 minutes, so I'm cleaning up my room. Well shoving things into my wardrobe, but that's practically the same thing. I get dressed in some comfy clothes, and organise all my character work and script work on the table. I have a lot of thoughts about Tabby and her story. She's allowed me to tap into something more confident and almost powerful. I need to be more like her.

There's a knock at the door. He's five minutes early. I look through the peephole and there he is. Dressed all in black with his laptop and files. He looks so gorgeous. I hype myself up before opening the door. Don't fuck this up Y/N. You've got this!

"Hey!" I say it just a bit too loud, but he walks into my room ignoring that.

"Hey" He smiles. I lead him to the coffee table and sofa in my room. We sit down, our knees touching. That damned spark again.

"So ive had a read through the script and i think i understand most of the subtext theres a few places where id love your help!" He starts rifling through his copy of the script, hes marked places he thinks would be best paired with something unique. It looks like my script, all covered in highlighter and markings. I cant help but smile at how much he seems to be enjoying this job.

"Can i just ask why you took the job?". I ask, "not that youre not equipped for it, its just im sure you and the kids are always busy." He shifts in his seat to face me.

"I loved doing deadpool. And Ryan asked if we'd like to this film and we read the script and loved it. Unfortunately only the 3 of us could find the time to make it out here. Minho and seungmin have long-standing MCing jobs, I.Ns filming his acting debut," he leans in,"which you didn't hear from me. Hyunjin is creating a fashion line with versace, and Felix has gone back to Australia for a few months."

"Didn't you want to join him? Felix, I mean. Go back home and enjoy being with your family?" I ask

"A part of me did Yeah, but my sister Hannah's out here anyway and I've planned to see her a few times. She may even spend sometime on set with us if I can sort that out."

"Oh I'd love that!! Weirdly enough I actually found your guys music through Hannah's YouTube channel. People kept mentioning her brother so I checked out your music. Think Maniac may have been the first song I listened too." I admitted.

"I was gonna ask you about that actually. I heard you and Ryan bonded over your love of our music?"

"Yeah", I said shyly. "Kind of embarrassing, but yeah. During preproduction rehearsal for the dance scenes we'd blast your music for warm up. We actually almost used Thunderous for one of the dance routines!"

"You were really good before by the way. I forgot to say before. Me, Han and Changbin all thought you could give danceracha a run for their money." I blush. I don't know if this is him flirting but I bloody hope it is

"That's very sweet of you," for what feels like hours, but is merely seconds we hold eye contact. He then looks down at my lips and back to my eyes. I must be imagining that.

"You know what you want?" I break the gaze by pulling out the hotels room service menu.

The next few hours we spend talking about the script and characters. It feels like we've known each other for ages. He's so inspiring with his passion for his job, he's fueling the passion I have for my own. Everything we say in agreement, totally understanding the story in the same way. Dissecting the relationships and themes with such glee.

It's almost midnight by the time he leaves. I walk him to his door, a total of 4 steps from my own.

"Goodnight," i say, "I had a lot of fun!"

"Me too" He replies opening his door. "What time is your call time tomorrow?" He asks leaning against the door frame.

"Keith's picking me up at 9" I reply

"I'll message Sara to say I'm joining you, if that's cool with you?" He queries, running his hand through his slightly curly hair.

"I meet you out here at 8:50?"

"It's a date. Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Christopher"

"I like that. You using my full name."

"I'll keep that in mind". We kind of just hang there in our respective door frames.

"Goodnight....I think that's the 3rd time I've said that." I laugh "ill see you in the morning" He nods and we close our doors.

I go to my bed and ring my mum to tell her about everything that's just happened. She answers but can't stay on the call for long, she's about to head off to work. I hate time differences.

#chan x reader #bang chris #christopher bang #bang chan #seo changbin #3racha scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids

[lexa-griffins]

thanks loads for the quick response, you were so lovely!! 🌸 as i said i’m just starting to educate myself so i don’t want to get things wrong or support someone who doesn’t deserve it. for example, Eliza.. like im still confused about this other topic bc i’m not interested enough, my heart already belongs to Alycia and i mean Alycia only, so… that’s what i’m focusing on. okay so basically that’s what i thought, the “could’ve handled it better” was about her not actually handling it at all, in a way, which i like to believe has nothing to do with her “hating” lexa (it’s something i keep reading online and idk where it comes from) or her fans. Bad advices and likely her trying to save Jason’s a** lead her to shut the discourse. but if this makes sense for the first weeks/months following lexa’s death, what i don’t understand is why she did seem annoyed when fans brought up lexa to conventions etc. but if she hated the fans and/or lexa, i can’t possibly believe she would’ve ever accepted to come back to the show for the finale. she came back bc she cared (about lexa, i mean SHE played her for gods sake, it must be hella important for her as well!!) and knew it was important for the fans, i guess. I’m almost scared to talk about this as i know Eliza’s fans are mad about it and especially Eliza/b0b supporters (i’ve seen enough on Twitter dear lord) but if what some people say is true, that he asked Jason to fire her bc he was jealous of her success, then maybe HIM being fired was also one of the reasons she willingly came back? like don’t get me wrong, i’m sure a big fat paycheck played a huge part too 😅 but trying to add more pieces to the puzzle here, as i really know like 40% of what happened behind the scenes with Jason and all when lexa was killed off, so again, i’m sorry if this always ends up being super long but i’m trying to do my homework here 📋🖊️ (and you genuinely are super kind btw which i’m super grateful for 😭)

I have never opened my mouth about the E and B topic because I am not about to open that can of worms or invite their fans to fight me here. I was a huge E fan and just a week before all the shit came out i was talking to a friend about how i wish clarke and her got the same love Lexa and Alycia do... that came back to bite me in the ass real quick 😅 you guys know how much i love Clarke but damn was it impossible for a bit there for me to be able to watch clexa and clarke scenes again and be able to seperate e from Clarke. We clearly got there tho 😌

In a way, I can understand why she was a little annoyed at cons. Alycia never went to a con with the main intent of talking about Lexa, she was on FTWD, she was probably very excited about it and was sent there to talk about it and yet every question she got was about a character that st that point she had not played in maybe a year if you account for the time between filming and the episodes coming out. And its probably nerve wracking to have a room full of people who care so deeply for a character and that are part of a community that is marginalized and her having to say the right thing. Not to meantion like most actors sometimes the line betwwen Lexa the character and Alycia the actor got a little blurred and i get the sense Alycia is the type of actor who wants a clear separation between herself and the character. Maybe wrongly so she tried to distance herself from Lexa not because she hates the fans but because it was what she and others around her felt was right for her career having just started on a new show.

We know B was most likely fired but I doubt that he was the reason why Alycia left. I truly think Jrot believe he was doing something with Lexa's death and that he was telling a epic story, i really think any other story of B wanting her gone and what is now know its false about her not being able to do both shows (AMC was ready to let her continue on the show, i wish i could link you a source to this) - making Alycia agreeing with Jason probably just PR trying to not cause a drift. Alycia (and Jason) kind of alluded to the fact that there had been chances for Lexa to come back before but that Alycia didn't feel comfortable with it and I do think that shows that she respected the fans and didn't want to be used as a prop to make fans to watch the show again. Her being in the finale was a surprise (well, not to me and many others because it felt like there had been hints being dropped for a good while). While i dont doubt the nice pay check wasnt an incentive Alycias entire message for the shows finale felt very sincere to me and very clearly dedicated to the fans. Blorke/B/E fans (well, B fans, lets be real here they only care for her because shes with him, they used to call her names before that) think that just because Alycia is both rather private and doesnt try to take fans money left and right that she hates her fans and hates Lexa. I just think that Alycia didnt really speak up when it was the time for it for whatever reason - i dont think it was out of malicious intent but i do think she should have said more - and talking about it now would just come across as trying to stir something up unless it was directly asked of her to talk about it. Id like to think she has proven herself an ally and a decent person where i dont think she has to talk about Lexa for me to consider her "forgiven" for not speaking up back then.

No need to say sorry, i totally get trying to understand what the fuck happened in this fandom of ours 😅 i just hope im saying things accurately because i have been here since mid 2015 so some things really get blurry around the edges. There used to be master posts or something im sure that explained things because this was a whole thing that last through most of 2016.

☺️ i might not remember or know how to answer everything but if you have any more questions about the fandoms history and if i can help and respond, feel free to ask me! :)

#letter opened #god it has been a wild ass ride sjdbdjd #what is it about this show that made people foam at the mouth the way they did christ sjsjd

[voyeuristicvixen]

Captains Log No.33_ addsmespice

Firuz and Inari are a pair of naughty ass alts tht I made to start some adult content w WAV and we have yet to shoot a scene with them but for avis that I put together with less than 100Ls they look goodt. Stay Tuned! Follow their twitter its, https://twitter.com/firuzinari!!

she cute X.X So yaaahhhhhh Wav and I are working on episode 2 of Meta Love Talks and I am working in general on a full schedule for my creative ass (thank the fates) I am super grateful that I have so many amazing ideas and I ask for the strength to carry them out to completion and be fully committed and consistent in the act of self love that is putting it all out. AMEN!

Sub to our Youtube page! https://www.youtube.com/@studio19.

One thing we didnt mention and want to make sure we do more moving forward is give visibility and credits to all the creators that make our content possible. I honestly haven’t been good at doing that because of pure laziness lol. I will do better! I do not want to gatekeep any of these amazing creative tools and things that come together to make videos and pics and looks possible! So ya that first episode we filmed at a historic Sci Fi spot in SL called Hangars Liquides, def a place to check out because the artists there are dedicated to the political movements that art generates in their home countries. Its a dope ass movement behind Hangars that we didnt know about till after the filming. I have to do a whole post and more on that because its so fascinating to me.

I have been pulled into a deeper love for the history of SL, as time goes on there will be more history added and so everything we do in this platform can become apart of that too. Something to think about. Legacy is important to me. In RL and SL has now been a fun way to “troubleshoot” so to speak, the habits and skills necessary to make that happen fr. My Amor tribe will grow, and I have recently been honored to have been asked to be someones daughter. *pinch me im dreaming!* So now we growing our own family and im being introduced into another one all at once. Inshallah!  

Im pretty sure a black creator on zooby hud made this texture for the onesie and its just so clever because its got shoes and pants and a top but on one onesie its brilliant! I need to log in and look and add in where its from later for yall! Genius.

We have been experimenting and practicing more with lighting and photography, getting content. Its been a lot of fun and sometimes also can be daunting. Always remember never compare yourself or your work to others as tempting as it may be! Unless you want to stifle you motivation and creativity! Heed this warning fellow creators don’t you dare do that to yourself! I get into that mode sometimes feeling like “oh no one likes my stuff” but then I realize that hey, I LOVE IT lol and thats all that matters. The bonus is that people that end up liking it too  are oftentimes creators that I myself admire and who’s work I think is amazing representation of SL so that means a lot more to me than having hundreds of likes. I see a lot of ppl get discouraged and maybe this can help put things into a diff perspective. Keep doing you!

Wav had a whole ass amazing idea to do a shoot in the rain and so of course I needed to have us do a kiss in the rain. We have that on our RL couples bucket list. I think one of our meta love talk episodes will def have to include that segment in there because its really fun putting together and finding new things that we can experience together. Game changer! Anywayssss look how cuuuuuteeee they aree *hearteyes*

I be so annoying and nagging Wav a lot more than I would like to admit XD He shuts me up when he does things like take me on romantic dates like this... its such a treat. Also funny asl whenever we try and have a meal and realize we actually have to make reservations so that people can RP the whole dinner for us lmaooo. I hope that one day we can fully get it together but it is really the thought that counts for me. I dont care if we are eating air sandwiches as long as its with MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN. lols and they had a bar cart! I was going in on green fairy absinthe and champagne. Reminded me of RL college days I made my own wormwood tincture.. I used to concoct all kinds of potions since very young. I started out in a coven in 3rd grade... but thats another story entirely !

We need to go back and buy this couples walker it was such a delightful thing lol even when it was glitching out we were walking on air and thats how I feel when I am around this man (and when he’s not being annoying because we are mirrors for one another lmao) Fairytales are not always a walk in the park, the beautiful moments only exist because you choose to make them happen. Our generation has to learn that great things do not always come quick, they can be easy sure but things that last take time.

#Secondlifeblog #Blogger #ladyfoxeyhendrix #captainslog #blackgirlblogger #secondlifephotography #secondlifeavatars #virtualworld #metaverselife #secondlifedestination #secondlifecreator #blackgirlsecondlifeblog #blacklove #metaversecouple #internetdating #onlinedating #secondlifedating

[faeriescorpio]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, and 10

what song makes you feel better?

Song that makes me feel better. I think Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon is up there. I can't drive without blasting this song because I have a lot of fear about driving and blasting this song makes me happy. When I'm not listening to melodramatic and emo alternative songs I'm blasting (checks spotify wrapped with tears in my eyes) ...bubblegum pop. I mocked that genre last year but apparently that's what I listen to. Like. Um. Classic by MKTO. look its very bouncy and also it kinda sounds like Wilbur Soot's Your New Boyfriend and I will not elaborate

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

Ooh I've got a few comfort movies. I constantly talk about how I love bad movies, and it really shows. I usually watch The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, National Treasure, Star Trek: Into Darkness, or Mission Impossible 5: Rogue Nation when I wants a comfort movie, whether im in an adventure mood, or action mood, or gentle angst mood

3. what’s your favorite candle scent?

I have this cinnamon scent that I adore, but I've been informed that it smells like soap. I think they're lying but whatever. i don't actually know what else is in there besides cinnamon, because I bought it at a witch store and the label just says "Scorpio" and it doesn't list ingredients or anything

4. what flower would you like to be given?

I said roses but I'm always ready to go into detail. I have these kind of pink-red roses in my backyard and I adore them, and I have some white roses but those are more susceptible to the mildew/mold so I never get to show them off. I give my friends yellow roses sometimes because those are supposed to mean friendship. supposedly they also mean jealousy but what my friends dont know about flower symbolism cant hurt them so if I'm giving my crush's boyfriend a yellow rose because "youre part of the friend group now" who's to say anything? who's gonna know. whos gonna know. i love to dick around with flower meanings and not explain anything to my friends

5. who do you feel most you around?

my best friend, easily. we've known each other for 11 years, and younger me had no filter so by the time the concept of Keeping Things To Yourself got into my brain my bestie already knew more about me than I did myself because I forget a lot of stuff, an excellent example of my bestie knowing more about me than me is this fic

alternatively i guess bestie's gf I feel pretty me around too. all those posts about aggressively third-wheeling are no joke. they recently did a two year anniversary thing and they posted photos of themselves and literally over half the photos were either MY house or I was in them but was cropped out for anniversary purposes. I was rolling on the floor cackling over this. like yeah, thats exactly where youre supposed to be >:3 my house

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

I have nice hair, I have nice eyes, I like how tall I am. I like my creativity, my determination, and my loyalty.

7. what color brings you peace?

lavender and blue-greys calm me. also the sea-green color

9. what calms you down?

im not great at calming myself down but if im unhappy about something then I usually watch youtube videos to distract myself. Honestly I try to hype myself up more than calm myself, like make myself giddy with excitement. a great way to do this for me is to watch videos where people react Avengers Endgame in theatres because Thor's hammer will start lifting into the air and the whole movie theatre will scream and for some reason listening to a punch of people cheer hypes me up. i am using my dumb little sensitive empathy as a weapon against myself

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

part two of in space with markiplier! also mission impossible 7 and 8, theyre being filmed back to back. they just finished filming MI 7 and its in post-production and theyve started MI 8. MI 7 was supposed to come out like this summer but its coming out next summer because 1) quarantine and 2) Tom Cruise is delaying production over an argument over how long Mission Impossible 7 should be in theatres before it goes on a streaming service. I've heard rumors that either a character I dont like, or a character who is the fan favorite and my special scrungly may die in MI 7 which is like. are you kidding. not to be rude but i hope the fan favorite survives and its the character i dont care for who dies, and since my character is one of 4 people confirmed for MI 8 I'm in high hopes. (grips Tom Cruise by the shoulders) you wouldnt kill the comedic relief, the fan favorite, right? if you wanna read about me talking about mission impossible for half an hour the i did make a post a few days ago

#using links so i dont ramble too much on my main #look listen to Classic then listen to your new Boyfriend. i promise theres something there

[lostacelonnie]

It sure is the new year & somehow im still tired and way busier than i would like. So uh. Sorry this took me a bit to get to. The first time i read your response i thought you'd said you were watching bocchi which confused me because you had already. But im glad you are enjoying bofuri. She's such a chaotic disaster character. Ohh i think i feel you on that my brother in law & i have like. Opposing autism vibes & coexisting with him when we share apace is exhausting. I hope school is going well for you! Yeah like. Honestly sometimes ill chat with people at a theater but mostly just. Please do not. Im just there for a film. Love the communal effort to just. Understand your teacher what a time that must be. My parents did teach to cook a bit. I learned spaghetti & a basic taco recipe from them. But i learned a lot from there so i had a bit of a spring board to go off. I hope you have a fun time learning to cook stuff i enjoy it immensely. Even with all the dishes it can make. Honestly schools are just. Weird if anything. Liminal space adjacent but in a way neither good or bad. Im sad i missed getting to pull her i want ruan mei but due to bad storms my internet was out, which also contributed to late response, for the last days of her banner. So i have to save for her re run. I am so normal about her & stelle(lying). I finally finished the argenti quest but had to level & gear himeko & welt. Got kafka on my console account from her banner & it gave me e1 bailu when i hoped for clara. Ohh so its like a character growth/change type thing. As the story progresses & they change they gain new herscherr forms. I think if my understanding is right. Or right as it can be for something not fully explained? I miss manaria & the gang already. Can only tide myself over with other villainess shows til it returns. Or i read more. Dungeon meshi at least has an airing anime adaptation now which means i can see my favorite fail girl marcille in animation. I will remember that & look to the community for help as needed if i pick noita up thank you for the tip. I too want himeko to be fine & alive so i sympathize with the hi3 fans. I dont remember if she's getting off on penacony or not if thats been said. But penacony definitely has some characters i want. Oh okay damn i always wondered about her floating. So thats one mystery solved. Wait seele has just. Basically a good dog aura? Oh so kiana mei & bronya have the most extensive lore? What about uh. Durandal? I feel like ive seen that particular polish phrase before whats it mean?

HI HELLO its been 20 years which im SO FUCKING SORRY about...... my life has decided to just Not give me a break recently. and understandable akdfkgjksj i should really continue watching it but ah.... so busy. and Tired all the time. actually got to skip school today bc i was so sleep deprived i thought i was sick but then i slept for another 4 hours and i feel so much better now. should be studying [have 8 exams coming up until the end of february.......] but i also Need to chill for a bit. agghhh. and oh understandable!! it really is just like that sometimes. school, as i said, is. psychologically torturing me but im actually not in that much pain so yeah!! and thanks also. i hope my teachers let us catch a break soon. at least ive recently picked up baking to destress so at least im not about to become the joker. and REAL LIKE i also dont mind talking with people in public places from time to time but i usually just wanna mind my own business. and yeah its SO funny but also im surprised how nice all my classmates are about helping others. like. if we had to cooperate to create a message with my old classmates everyone would just instantly start making fun of each other for not knowing something. OOOH COOL....... when i have more time i should learn to make some spanish dishes. went to gran canaria with my mom recently and god ive missed their cuisine SO much. god yeah schools are like another dimension to me ngl. they work based on different rules then the rest of the world. AND AUUGHGH PAIN...... good luck with getting her on future reruns tho!!! same with being Totally Normal. and hey congrats on all that!!! i also ended up doing argentis quest and luckily didnt have time with fighting him thanks to clara who makes it extremely easy. generally shes always carrying me. finally got to trailblaze lvl 65 and i only have my clara team at lvl 80 rn so i should probs work on kafka etc but i hate grinding mats...... hell on earth. oh well. and yeah more or less!!! tho it also depends on the person and circumstances, as some people will get new authorities, some will kind of. get closer to their current one? and some people might even give up their herrscher authorities with time. but yeah honkai loves to retcon itself so its kinda blurry sometimes. I MISS EVERYONE TOOOOOO and i started watching reborn as a villainess some time ago but ah. didnt have time to continue. i ALSO started watching dunmesh and ALSO didnt have time to catch up with it but im SO excited for it bc ive only watched 3 eps but love it already. if you ever Do pick up the game then good luck!! its as brutal as it is fun to play. himeko protection squad forever....... i should finish penacony when i get the time and motivation. wasnt too interested in any chars at first but acheron stole my heart....... so would sparkle if she wasnt so Racist for no reason. yes seele Does have a good doggy aura SHDKFJKS even The Great Herrscher Of Sentience cant say no to her. shes so sweet and i love her. and yeah basically!!!! since theyre effectively all the protags, even if kiana is the "main" one. AND I WILL VERY EXCITEDLY TELL YOU LITERALLY ALL DURANDAL LORE AS I KNOW IT BY HEART BUT ALSO LITERALLY DONT HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO WRITE IT ALL DOWN RIGHT NOW SO ILL TRY TO GET THAT DONE BY YOUR NEXT MESSAGE. so well both have time to write our respective stuff. and oh polska gurom is a misspelled version of polska górą [since its pronounced almost the same] which more or less means poland on top. its used ironically most of the time and i LOVE saying it

#once again IM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO RESPOND but im just. trying to survive recently......... #asks #pen pals

[sanguine-sanctus]

Art thoughts

I rarely write my thoughts in social media. It's just something I don't like to do.

This is just a ramble that nobody cares about but I kinda need to talk about it in someway.

So, im an artist. I draw. I animate. I actually worked in a shortfilm that im really proud of! But must of the time I feel kinda useless. The short made me get better at drawing and stuff but I also think that it gave me some baggage that I just can't get through.

I don't usually draw in the style that we used for the short. In fact, I consider that I either don't have any style or that it is just wildly different to the one from the short. We worked on it for around 6 to 12 months. I was working everyday to try to get the best results that I could. I was happy and excited.

I now feel that I lost my way. I kinda cannot recognise myself in my art anymore. I try to doodle, I try to think about concepts or things that I would like to develop but when I get to it...It just isn't "enough". The drawing is sloppy, uninspired and I just can't continue working on it. So I abandon it.

I've been stuck on this cycle for quite some time and I just can't seem to get out of it. I have people tell me that I have a vision, that I have talent, yet I struggle so much. I cannot draw. Whenever I try to, I see the flaws, I don't know how to keep going...

I see my soulless doodles and I just see someone that doesn't know what kind of artistic direction must take. I don't mean a career. I mean when someone is instantly recognizable by their work. For example: Tove Jansson or J.C.Leyendecker. They are so recognizable in their work that it is just breathtaking.

I see myself lack that. And even more. I see myself lacking everywhere. It has come to the point that even just starting to draw something that isn't "from the shortfilm" pains me. Emptiness. The desire to go back to when I could stand seeing my work.

I have so many ideas. My brain doesn't stop working. Yet I can't make them a reality. It is not only sad but pathetic. I don't know how to fix this. drawing for myself isn't bringing me joy and I just think that that is unforgivable. First of all art is always for the artist, after that, you may show it to an audience.

Since we started working on a new short, I've been feeling really down. I see my friends doing amazing stuff which shows how much they care about it and I just feel like an impostor. Someone that obeys orders and ocassionally pitches ideas. I can do the style of the film yet when I try to work on my own stuff, I don't know how to proceed. I am starting to doubt who I am artistically. The film is getting to me. I don't know my "style". I have been told several times that the style of drawing is something that comes to you with time. It isn't something that sould be forced. I do not mean that.

I mean the style that you recognize youself with. Sometimes I think that I just have grown to hate the way I used to draw, and now, when I work on personal stuff outside the film that I have to work on, I just instantly hate whatever im doing.

I've had an amazing year with outstanding opportunities given to me. I feel selfish for feeling this way. I wish that this tug on my heart would dissapear. that it would vanish. But im still here. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to get past through this.

I am envious. I am bitter. I hate seeing people enjoy their work in a way I can't. I wish everyone the best. Truly. But it still pains me. I hope this feeling will go away. I will try to find a solution to this.

But I am not sure how.

#art #personal #I don't speak a lot anywhere #I just don't feel good knowing people I know would read this. #so I posted it here. #there is a confort in only strangers reading about certain personal stuff #I accept comments #if someone wants to talk im willing

[firein-thesky]

ooh, i'd love to hear more about your opinions on trigun once i make it through both properties! but for the moment -pulls up a chair and sits down- okay buckle up cielo

i guess to start, i do agree even without seeing the remake yet, 90s anime have a certain charm to them that modern anime just doesn't have! beautiful art style, animation, intricate backgrounds and unique designs etc

unfortunately, i dont have the love for space westerns that you do, and i think that bit me in the butt in terms of engagement at first LOL i skimmed through the first 4 episodes before something about episode 5 kinda hit me and i forced myself to sit through all 4 episodes again properly. the most slowest of plot burns. im dying, im begging for scraps. (episodic episodes, my hell, my nemesis)

BUT what really tides me over is the characters!! vash as the forefront, is of course, the most soggiest man i've ever met. he's so goofy and the show loves to use him physical slapstick humor (which can be a bit much for me) but it sharply contrasts his more serious moments. hes also very intelligent?? like he's so silly but also highly competent when the situation calls for it, and also very observant. he's a funny lil guy. but also he's fucked up i bet.

like sometimes there are just such juicy little nuggets of characterization when characters actually talk to each other that i just have to sigh and follow the trail and see where it leads me

there's a moment between wolfwood and vash that just stops me in my tracks because it's so. humanizing and quiet and Good. Vash watches Wolfwood do an act of genuine kindness when at first he appeared as some lackadaisical, salespriest and vash just smiles watching it and wolfwood immediately clocks him and says he's surprised vash /could/ grin so genuinely, because the rest of the time his smiles are so empty behind the eyes. Vash is a person who hides a lot of pain and struggle behind a veneer of cheer.

ALSO, about Wolfwood!!! yes okay, i have to say, i've SEEN the wolfwood in stampede and im so mad. they gave him a nose job!!! i hate that, i love his big ol honker!!! bring it back

okay i have to end it here or i'll go on forever, overall, i wouldn't personally have gravitated towards trigun by myself, BUT i am having fun, i love the characters, and im desperate for more plot

was so happy to see your ask with more of your thoughts 💕

okay that's fair!! space westerns are very Niche in some ways. and also episodic storytelling is like...a dead artform atp lol. i feel like we haven't seen it in awhile!! i personally have a sense of nostalgia for it and actually really enjoy it! i watched cowboy bebop recently too and...i think it just reminded me of how good episodic storytelling can be. but i get it can be slow!! esp nowadays when we're used to almost cinematic/film storytelling? i feel like tv shows now are like really long movies just broken up a little. cowboy bebop took me a second to get into too because i also was like....oh episodic storytelling you slowpoke.

but god yes THE CHARACTERS. vash especially. what an incredible main character. i love his lil slogan ab himself lol a stoic peaceful gunslinger searching for the allusive mayfly of love or whatever it is. he's just wonderful to watch!! and honestly i really love meryl too. i like this iteration where shes got a bit more sass and bite than the new one. i get her motivations have changed between og and the new one so her attitude might too but. i really like og meryl right now.

and that moment between wolfwood and vash is such a good one!! honestly they have a lot of really wonderful interactions. really enjoyed the interactions between wolfwood and millie too. i think part of the reason i love and miss episodic storytelling/tv shows is because it allows a little more room for character/relationship building, you know? i think the og does a really nice job of it.

new wolfwood they just....kinda botched. especially in the appearance department. give him his nose!! don't make him look so pretty!! wtf is that outfit!!

well thank you for your thoughts friend!! and im glad you are enjoying trigun!!! you'll have to update me on your thoughts as you continue to watch!!

#og trigun really has been a lot of fun #im glad you're enjoying it too!! #hope your day is well!! #cielo chats!