#sometimes i make myself sad

[stargazingtranquility]

Remus already hates his body because of his scars but do you think he sat there, year after year, tearing himself apart because he was aging? He was no longer that 15 year old boy that Sirius fell in love with. He was no longer that 17 year old boy that Sirius touched for the first time. He was no longer that 19 year old boy that Sirius promised forever. He didn’t look like he did at 22 when Sirius was locked away in Azkaban. And isn’t that a shitty thing to think of, because here he was, pining over if Sirius Black would still love him as he is now, when James and Lily and Peter would never get to that age because of Sirius.

#marauders #angst #harry potter #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #sometimes I make myself sad

[herebutnothere]

Just had a thought of Rick going up to the artist in the market and getting his drawings of Michonne and Judith. Of him looking at the phones and smiling sadly as he stared at the etched lines detailing all he had left of them, the shadow of his face reflecting back at him in the black mirror, blending and fading.

I had a thought of how, when it came time for Carl's portrait, he may have paused, just for a moment. Maybe he blinked in disbelief, a split second of darkness that he hoped maybe, just maybe, would bring his boy back into focus.

"He um..."

He probably looked past the artist, off into the distance. Waiting. Scouring his mind for something to latch on to.

He probably felt a sense of relief as slowly, so slowly, the image came back to him. The hat he placed on his head. The long hair they laughed about. The smile that held wisdom he tried so hard to shield him from. The bandage that accompanied eyes telling the story of young love.

With a deep breath he probably cleared his throat and listed the elements that made his boy, but when the artist handed him the phone, he definitely noticed something was wrong. That would have been immediate.

And as he stared at his reflection and saw his eyes fill with tears, he probably whispered, "That's not him."

He may have stumbled back to his room in a daze.

It probably took him a little bit of nerve to work up the courage to try again. But he did try again. Mainly because he knew that if he waited any longer, it wouldn't get any better.

And each time he tried to remember, listing each piece like ingredients to a recipe: hat, hair, smile, eyes. But each time it wasn't Carl.

So eventually he just stopped.

Stopped talking about seeing them again.

Stopped visiting the stand.

Stopped trying.

He just... stopped.

#the walking dead #rick grimes #twd: the ones who live #carl grimes #my heart #fanfic #sometimes I make myself sad #do you think Michonne got one of Andre? #Carl's had to be the last one he tried to get because he wouldn't have been able to go on with the others once he realized

[ambi-kiko]

sometimes i think about whether evan lukas really liked naomi or he just saw some Lonely girl and wanted to help her.

#sometimes i make myself sad #like why even #god i hate my mind sometimes #like TT #yeah #tma #the magnus archives #naomi herne #evan lukas #the lonely

[onlyshestandsthere]

aaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I just finished reading your fic!!!!! chapter 12. chAPTER 12. I don't know how you do it but you push all my buttons!! it was DEVASTATING seeing Kit brought to actual tears. and Jade seeing her cry.... my HEART was torn apart (in the best way please never stop)

but then JADE pulled a 180 and was like nah and the whole getting aways scene

okay I'm not making much sense but I need you to know this: this fic is eating me alive, it's peeling my skin off and only putting it back on for the brief hours (yes it's hours) I take to read an update. I love the way you hurt me Kit and this is the best story I have read in my life

Wow, that sure sounds unpleasant, but I'm glad my work is eating you alive that's lovely.

And yeah, Kit is always trying so hard not to cry but she just couldn't help it in that moment and she absolutely hates herself for it.

#Sometimes I make myself sad #But not for long! #BMMMSAS #Fic asks

[animalinvestigator]

happy 8 years

i will transform so i don't die

#my art #undertale #chara dreemurr #am a bit bereft of things to say lol sorry. usually this is where i have a whole diatribe to go off on #i didn't feel like celebrating very much this year so the artwork i made isnt very celebratory #but it was always the sad and futile parts of the story that made me feel the most when i was a kid . so #it's maybe truer to the spirit of my love for this game than any of the cutesy celebration drawings ive done over the years #um . as it was and still is. my heart lives where this story is #if i hadn't played it when i was a kid i don't know if i would have made it this far. im actually almost certain i wouldnt have #sometimes its hard to be thankful for that but i make myself be thankful lol. #so dramatic rofl. well it's just what i was thinking #thanks for being here everyone. i kind of like how this drawing turned out and i hope you will too

[mintytealfox]

Alice with: Norton's pickaxe, Melly's bees, and Frederick's tuning fork 😔

#idv #identity v #alice deross #idv alice #identity v alice #idv alice deross #idv journalist #identity v journalist #da capo #idv fanart #identity v fanart #art #my art #minty art #minty doodles #aaahhhhhh #i like to make myself really sad sometimes lol #my gosh

[waywardwendy]

Go For a Picnic. Dine at the Ritz...

Okay, I've got an absolutely miserable take on the 1967 scene in the Bentley, after Aziraphale gives Crowley the tartan thermos of holy water.

‼️TRIGGER WARNING‼️, this is going to get a little dark with Aziraphale's assumptions about Crowley's suicidal ideations. Be careful, please.

We all know Crowley has been pining after holy water. (In my dismal opinion, whatever was done to him after he saved Elspeth's soul from damnation in 1827 must have been horrendous, and that's where this request came from.) He asked for it in 1862 when he met with Aziraphale in St. James Park, and was turned down.

And we all already know exactly what Aziraphale thought he wanted it for.

We also know he discovered in 1941 that it was available in churches. No guards surrounding it, and that anyone could just go in and take it.

"Look at that! A whole fontful of holy water. It doesn't even have guards." (His genuine surprise that it's just THERE for the taking.)

Anyway that's not what this is about - this is about Aziraphale's response in 1967.

Obviously, we're all hooked on:

Because, ouch these poor babies really know how to ruin our lives.

So many meanings here. The obvious - you drive like an absolute mad lad and I don't want to be discorporated in a car accident (good lord, the paperwork). The less obvious but definitely there - you jump into things so quickly, I can't keep up.

BUT I'm stuck on this bit:

In my first watch through, I didn't think much of it. "Don't look so disappointed." We can hang out later. I just don't want to drive with you when it's not necessary because you're absolutely terrifying behind the wheel. I'm not telling you to fuck off, call me for dinner some time.

BUT NOW, on my... 5th? 6th? I'm losing track (and my mind) watch, I see it as... begging? As Aziraphale not knowing how to articulate what he's feeling, but desperately trying to communicate it to Crowley anyway.

Because he still thinks Crowley wants the holy water as a way to destroy himself.

I see it as something along the lines of this miserable list;

Please don’t kill yourself. 

I need you to not go through with this. 

I don’t want to withhold my companionship from you, but I need you to look forward to our time together later so you don't do this now.

I’m not going to spend time with you now, I can’t let you use it as some final goodbye in your mind. 

We can go for a picnic, please stay alive long enough for us to do that. 

We can dine at the Ritz, please stay alive long enough for us to go there.

And, to be honest, watching it through again with this lens, I wonder if Aziraphale is more grateful for Crowley's company every time they see each other because he didn't go through with it.

I wish I could find a better way to articulate this, and the way it wrings out my heart like a wet rag, but here we are.

Enjoy my misery with me.

#good omens #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #gomens #goodomens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #david tennant #ineffable idiots #michael sheen #anthony j crowley #a. z. fell #good omens meta #is this a meta? #I'm realizing that I don't actually know what a meta is #good omens analysis #good omens scene analysis #I make myself really sad sometimes #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #good omens 1 #angst #ineffable angst #good omens angst #crowley angst #aziraphale angst

[blubrr]

Nightmare sweats…

#sometimes I think about about how Luffy gets nightmares about ace and just. doesn’t tell anyone #like no one #not a soul on the crew #what the fuck #I love to make myself so incredibly sad #haha #ha #ha ha ha #one piece #op #opla #monkey d luffy #one piece luffy #one piece netflix #one piece ace #monkey d. luffy #Luffy #straw hat luffy #portgas d ace

[lovelbear]

《Headcanon time brought to you by someone who has way too many thoughts. Most of them made me sad, so i figured time to share 》

♡ Violet and Jerry have been taking turns holding ocie as she cries when Jerry is watching her Violet is watching over Rae

♡ after Rae and icurus fought In the sky Rae's back and wings hurt as if his injuries from the first sky fight had happened all over again.

♡ Athena felt it when len died, everything around them froze as a ringing started in her ears, he felt a lose, she felt the God that he was closest to slip away. Their knees buckled underneath them and she fell to her knees as tears began to flow ghast tears flowing with real tears as his hands began to shake

♡ Rae refuses to leave his bed after making a shirt for Vorago. Violet is really worried about the mental space Rae might be in after another sky fight and is trying to leave little sweet treats he knows Rae enjoys to try and bring his best friend some joy

♡ Rae keeps having dreams of Isla just being out of his reach, every dream it feels like she gets closer but is still so far away

♡ Icurus on the other hand keeps having dreams of falling, falling from where they feel they should be. Every night they wake up around 4 am feeling as if they've failed simply by having a dream

♡ the Tuskly's have made Athena a basket of treats and things after the death of len, who they knew Athena was close too.

♡ all of Jamie and athena's animals have found their way up to Jamie and athena's bedroom and are just laying in bed with athena

♡ Ulysses has been playing back everything that happened the day len died, from what they found in the temple to Len's death. Something things from it all feels blurry, Other parts feel crystal clear.

♡ Jerry has brought Oscar into ocie's room, and momentarily, Violet has taken away Oscar's crossbow.

♡ Ulysses has been fidgeting with the book they found in the temple that while he traces over his name in the book.

♡ Ocie dropped her communicator during the fighting, and now it has a small crack on the screen

♡ Oscar wants to bite fable. No reason just wants to bite fable

♡ ocie would let Oscar take a marker and draw on her back, centross would also let Oscar do this.

《I think that's all I got for right now chat》

#fable smp #i make myself sad sometime #have fun with this one chat

[luck-of-the-drawings]

smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little. #AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair. #AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother. #GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns. #he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales. #YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!! #you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound. #elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now. #this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

[onesidedradiostatic]

Do you think Vox arrived in hell with a color or black-and-white tv head? (And would his color vision be the same as his screen output?)

If one of his upgrades was to color, I can imagine both him and alastor geeking out over it together like mad scientists, before the friendship sank. The infatuation/obsession fuel of Alastor being one of the first things Vox sees in color in his afterlife… slo-mo bishie sparkle vision (“why is everything here fucking red?!”)

Or maybe Alastor wasn’t impressed by “living color” at all and it was the beginning of the end. A final dealbreaker would have been the upgrade from film cameras to electronic video cameras in the 70s/80s. Around the time Vox would have buddied up with Valentino. As if Vox’s devaluing of music and audio over video wasn’t already enough yikes

Oh no let’s get poetic, maybe that was the last time Vox saw Alastor without distortion, and MAYBE he still can’t see Alastor unless he’s looking at an image of him captured in the pre-digital days. Wait that’s a bit too angsty actually. Alastor literally being like ‘you have lost the privilege of perceiving me’… oof maybe as a deterrent if Vox got uncomfortably distracted/focussed on Al’s looks instead of the Art of Radio (reminds me of a time a guy I’d never spoken to asked our art prof to ask me if he could photograph me because I’d become his “muse”, and I shifted my setup so a column blocked his line of sight. Vision denied, Martin, no more perception allowed. jesus christ)

hmmm first colour tv came out in the 50s so it's entirely possible that when vox died it was already invented, so entirely possible he just spawned with colour already. idk if I want to begin to understand how vox's sight and his screen correlate with each other, does he KNOW what's on his screen when it's not his face???? I mean he knew velvette was calling when that came up on his screen. what the fuck does he see when his screen is not his face. I don't. I don't know. but I haven't actually thought about it necessarily correlating. but I do kind of like the idea of like him transitioning to colour for the first time and seeing alastor in the bishie sparkle filter that's so funny ksjdfghllf. honestly you can buy me with any context of vox seeing alastor in the bishie sparkle filter it's so funny.

typically I don't think vox's vision counts as video when it comes to alastor, mostly because I just NEED him to see alastor without distortion for the first time in 7 years. but it's definitely a sad idea if it did apply to him especially cause everyone else around him would be able to see him in-person without distortions cause they're not video LMAO, so he'd be essentially the only person unable to see alastor normally. NOT in my usual hcs because damn that's too sad even for me.... but it is something to think about if it was the case

#ask #osrs.txt #radiostatic #staticradio #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #sometimes I actually make myself sad when I post about the angstier parts of their relationship

[skunkes]

i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

#oc text #obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous #even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim #not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like #even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly #and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath #AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this? #he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly #bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!! #while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety ! #so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes... #we're also weird eating buddies <3 #and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time #severe death phobia buddies... #i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it #as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this #form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim #though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything #he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though) #but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon. #my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them. #he's growing with me. #oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors #ok goodnite

[toomanywordsnllines]

Soap being giggly when he's happy is a hc very, oh so dear to me.

But he also seems to be the type to giggle when he's about to cry/nervous.

I don't know the image of him talking to Ghost after maybe a more dangerous mission, starting to giggle because Ghost probably said something funny and then him just suddenly dissolving into tears while giggling. Little laughs that turn into a sob. Because he just got hit by the grief of what they do for a leaving and maybe he could've lost Ghost. Simon being hit hard with whiplash by Soap's reaction and feeling very very worried and heartbroken.

#also ghe giggling when hes nervous is for just more tame things #like yeah he might've stolen captains price hat how do you know??? #he asks between trying not to laugh his ass off #but yeah these man make me feel so normal smile #brought to you by someone that sometimes laughs before bawling my eyes out #it's all about projecting baby #also getting to write things about characters... publicly is so weird i usualy just leave everything in the brain #cod #call of duty #simon ghost riley #john soap mctavish #ghost/soap #ghostsoap #soap/ghost #soapghost #i love them so much it's insane #it's very funny how i see a happy hc and say to myself #what if it was also sad?

[lunarharp]

scribblezone again testing out brushes, early grey oru, and ace attorney-style psychelocks

#witch hat tag #orufrey #doodly. i like one of the brushes tho. #oh and i was thinking how the girls have qifrey's hat design but oru's (current) tassel and how that makes me feel #ppl will surely be thinking umm WHY do they have a different tassel to him unlike every other atelier ever. the whole tassel thing is just. #whatever. *keeps the rest to myself as i fall down a zelda-style chasm of emotion* #i JUST wanna know if tassel swapping is a cultural witch sign of commitment OR if it's something they just made up. JUST TELL ME. NAAOOOOWW #the girls are too young to hear about it because oru has the inbuilt belief that kids will mercilessly tease ppl #ok what is going on someone said the psychelocks art made them laugh and someone else said it made them smile #sometimes when i try to get out depressing ideas ppl are like hehe aww and then for those pink clothes i got surprisingly much sad response #it wasnt THAT sad........maybe. anyway genuinely interesting . this world is a mystery #i think its bc i mix humour & tragedy more than i ever imagined i would. i mean witch hat is like that so thats why im doing it. well anywa

[jdotthom]

After Kratos almost kills Atreus when he's in bear form and the dialogue of Atreus wanting to learn the Lyre, I kinda wonder how often Kratos sees Calliope in Atreus.

Calliope and Atreus are both shown to be compassionate, but often naive kids.

Both were born sick and protected by Kratos despite it going against how he was raised.

Both have artistic abilities, Calliope's flute and Atreus drawings.

Kratos sounded so surprised when Atreus asked if he could learn the lyre.

I don't know, this all stemmed from a scene in my head of Kratos looking at Atreus and kinda realizing that he's 'older' than Calliope now.

#god of war #god of war 2018 #god of war ragnarok #kratos #atreus #calliope #god of war kratos #god of war atreus #gow ragnarok #Idk i just make myself sad sometimes

[alsojnpie]

dishes are forever

#I MISSED HAVING A TABLET!!!! #ht papyrus #a gentle touch when you're sad #a menacing touch when it would be funny #he can do it all #LITTLE PRO TIP LIFE HACK THOUGH: IF WASHING DISHES MAKES YOU WANT TO LIVE ON A DIFFERENT PLANET #MAYBE YOU HAVE TOO MANY DANG DISHES #BEING IN A SITUATION WHERE I HAVE 80% FEWER DISHES THAN BEFORE MEANS I DO DISHES MORE OFTEN BUT IT'S SO EASY #AND NOT SOUL SUCKING AT ALL #JUST MY EXPERIENCE!!!!!! THAT'S ALL #I'm sure when i am reunited with my other dishes i will languish in bed staring at this psyching myself up to the task #but i like keeping random jars from food i bought and dishes that i picked up in different places. #they physically remind me of everywhere I've been and sometimes i just look at them and remember where I've been #my favorite is the old ratatouille jar i bought at carrefour in Chengdu #that jarred ratatouille was the nastiest food to grace this earth #i bought it in case it would make a quick easy meal (you don't really find those at the grocery store in China at least not back then) #but even my cheap lazy self couldn't eat it #so no one ever consumed that ratatouille but the jar was pretty big so i put other stuff in it and now it's my dish #and somehow the label is glued on PERMANENTLY it has never washed off after all these years #actually idk maybe it eventually did it isn't here for me to look at but it lasted a long time i know that