#sometimes i see something and my brain just goes ah. yes. time to write.
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Hello. I was wondering if you could make a platonic Honkai Star Rail story with the reader being Sunday's child and but they ended up living with their mother because Sunday and the readers mother got a divorce when the reader was very young. it takes awhile but a few years but the reader returned to Penacony with their mother for a visit. (I was kind of inspired by Charlie and Lucifer's relationship from hazbin hotel) (But if you're uncomfortable with writing this that's completely alright and I wish you a good morning, afternoon or goodnight😊)
Like Father Like Son
Sunday | M. Reader as his child (Platonic)
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"You can't stop DNA.."
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Penacony. Planet of Festivities.
Or rather..
His birthplace.
The place he never would have thought he'll visit.
He was young, yes, but the memory still sear into his brain like a stain on a white shirt. The fighting, the yelling. Everything.
To think he'll be going back to the place where these memories took place...
It left him on edge.
Sure there are some good memories. The laughter, the joy, the perpetual smiles.
He remembered how he would enter his father's office and saw him hard at work, those countless paperwork on his desk and that stern expression that softened once his eyes locked onto him. His precious son. His little angel.
Tales.. about his lofty dreams..
He would listen to it breathlessly.
A kind man with ambition. That was the type of man his father is. Although..
Through some other things.. that image began to stain. Leaving behind holes and stains on a picture perfect family.
.
.
.
Dewlight Pavilion. A place with insane security, even when it's "family" that's visiting. Paranoid much? But nonetheless, the place is exactly as he once remembered it was. Filled with puzzles and other security mechanisms. Why did he decide to go here again? To visit his father? Why is he doing this while his mother is busy lounging around at Golden Hour?
No matter.
It doesn't matter.
None of it matters.
After gently knocking at the door, he opened it and was greeted by a specious office and the man himself. His wings can't help but flutter at the sight of his father. After all these years...
"Long time no see.. father.."
"Ah, you finally arrived, [Name]. How was the ride?"
"It was nice, the driver was also very welcoming."
Getting up from his seat, Sunday approached his son, standing in front of him. He can't help but smile at the sight. "You've grown. Last I saw you, you barely even reached my waist."
[Name] laughed at his father's remark. "Ha ha! Oh but I was just a toddler back then."
They're very alike.
Both donning a perpetual smile, their auras are warm and welcoming, their clothing is equally fancy and well tailored.
They're more alike than they originally thought.
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As days passed by, their little family reunion went smoothly, no bumps on the road. As it should have been. Sometimes [Name] can't help but wonder if this is the life he'll live if only his parents didn't get a divorce. It's nice, it's warm. He feels.. complete..
A happy family at last.
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He doesn't like it.
He doesn't like him.
Not one bit.
He doesn't like the fact that this.. guest..
The mess, these shenanigans, the tricks they're pulling. Whatever this guest is doing, he doesn't like it.
How could he? When this wretch is plotting everything!? Who knows what goes through their head?! What if they try to do something to his now happy family?! What if they try to do something to Penacony?!
He can't have that! He won't allow it!
Not after "Death" had picked its prey.
After losing someone to that "thing" [Name] isn't too keen on letting something else go out of control.
As the son of the Family's Head. [Name] has rights to pretty much everything and the thought of this guest causing more harm doesn't sit right with him.
"Nice office."
"Thank you."
An invite from the one and only [Name], son of the Head of the Family. That's something no one in their right mind could refuse. How could they? It's him after all! The second most influential person in Penacony, second to his father.
The two casually walked through the office, while the guest is busy admiring the specious and luxurious office, [Name] had stopped in front of the giant aquarium in the office. One he had requested upon the construction of his very own office in the Dewlight Pavilion.
The light of the aquarium gently illuminates the room, giving it a nice blue glow. The fishes swim through the waters, unbothered and calm. They're safe after all. No predators are there to harm them. An aquarium is the most safest place for these creatures.
The guest soon noticed [Name]'s interest in the aquarium as they soon joined him at watching the fishes swim freely from one end to the other.
"I like aquariums. They're nice, you can put as many creatures as you want and decorate it as you wish..." [Name] spoke up, breaking the silence between them. "I can see that, the tank is pretty big and you have lots of different fishes here too." The guest replies, making a simple observation before turning their head towards the winged man.
"But that's not why you summoned me, right?"
"Now what makes you say that? What if I wanted to make you my friend?"
They went silent after hearing those words came from the other's mouth. [Name] chuckles at the reaction, putting his hands behind his back, he asked. "What is Penacony to you?"
"Penacony..? It's.. a nice place.. it's like a paradise.. a home. What about you? What's Penacony to you?"
His gentle smile seems to widen at the question that's been thrown back at him, his gaze never leaving the aquarium, he answered. "I'm so glad you found a home here... A flower garden isolated by the rules of the world."
"The only absolute law is simply to live and not cause any harm, everyone must live in harmony here..."
"I adore it."
"It's like an aquarium, a unique world of my own creation."
.
.
.
.
.
The first thing he thought of when he saw such.. disharmony.. is..
"A serpent had made its way to my Garden of Eden."
Penacony.. Planet of Festivities..
That's what it's known for.. but to [Name]..?
It's an aquarium. A unique world of his own creation. His Garden of Eden.
How dare they.. how dare this guest do such a thing and ruin the harmony inside this paradise of his?! His own creation.. it has to be a perfect place. How dare this guest cause such a thing! The Family already has that Memory Meme on their plate, they don't need another one!
This serpent that had entered his Garden of Eden.. how dare they try to tempt the people with the forbidden fruit..
No matter.
It doesn't matter.
Not at all.
.
.
.
.
.
"Oh, Triple-Faced Soul, please sear his tongue and palm with a hot iron, so he will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows."
They're very alike.
Both donning a perpetual smile, their auras are warm and welcoming, their clothing is equally fancy and well tailored.
That same smile that hides their schemes.
That aura that left people feeling on edge.
That unsettling chill that runs down on people's spine the moment they gave them a certain look.
Those wings and halo that makes them look ethereal yet mysterious.
They're more alike than they originally thought.
And "control" is their middle name.
.
.
Like father like son, no?
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Should I make a part two of this? If so, who will be the "guest" ? You guys have any ideas in mind?
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#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x male reader#hsr#hsr x reader#hsr x male reader#hsr sunday#sunday x reader#sunday x male reader#x male reader#x reader#platonic
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FengQing dynamics, book vs fan interpretation, General Thoughts about Clown Generals:
Mostly me trying to stare at canon and figure out what these dumbasses think about each other and what their actual relationship is, what's actually written instead of my hopes and dreams for clown love.
we all keep writing/drawing Mu Qing being the mean one and Feng Xin as the nice one but....Feng Xin is the one that relentlessly says horrible things to him, usually unprovoked.
Feng Xin's insults:
That he hates him, that he never wants to see him again, that he's lying, that whenever he sees him doing something it absolutely must be for personal/nefarious reasons, that he's happy when xl does crimes, he's untrustworthy, that he's always scheming, that he thinks he's better than he is, that he wouldn't be where he is without Xie Lian.
Mu Qing's insults are:
that Feng Xin is just as "disloyal" as him for leaving. Basically, his usual argument is "you are just as bad as me." This is his big thing, arguably his only thing.
He maybe thinks the bathhouse is Feng Xin's fault, like he took them somewhere perverted on purpose
His statues? whack.
Says Feng Xin made a big deal about nothing about Xie Lian stealing.
I'm wracking my brain here because a lot of them aren't personal insults so much as making fun of him for something rather than saying he's a bad person. Like he tells Xie Lian about the Ju Yang thing. That's not something Feng Xin did wrong, it's something embarrassing that happened to Feng Xin.
Here's one:
Actually, rereading this, I wonder if he meant Xie Lian...? Since that's the person who they felt like couldn't tell who was a ghost. And Feng Xin has always been able to discern ghostness so far so that seems weirdly specific. Which is nuts because I think we all feel like Mu Qing should insult his intelligence all the time (Feng Xin isn't as dumb as I wish he was, though so...)
I'm extremely guilty of all of this, to be clear. And I don't know why. Sometimes I carefully have Feng Xin realize he was awful and be apologetic, sometimes deal with it.
But probably most of the time, offhandedly, I'm like "Ah yes mq wouldn't catch him in a trust fall", which is something I just saw on my dash. when it's demonstrably, literally untrue, right?
They would both catch each other without hesitation. They literally do! Even when it's at a great risk to themselves!
I think the difference is what they think will happen:
Mu Qing, idk I could go either way. He might know that Feng Xin will catch him because Feng Xin is Like That. Or he might think it's a big question mark.
By Tong'lu he says something to the effect that he's running from them because they'll just kill him if they get ahold of him. But by then things have been escalating. Feng Xin hit him during the avalanche thing off screen and Mu Qing was surprised by it and asked why he'd hit him. We saw Feng Xin punch him before (after ghost city arc), but Mu Qing wasn't confused as to why that time. In other words, normally he might completely trust him but the events of the book threw everything out the window.
But I can't say for sure what Mu Qing would think would happen.
Weirdly, Feng Xin's response is the more complicated one.
Feng Xin does NOT think Mu Qing will or has serious doubts. Except...that's just what he'll verbalize. Literally what happens in the book, he gives no visible indication that he even remotely believes Mu Qing's explanations at Tong'lu.
It's only after Mu Qing suddenly disappears that the narrator tells us that he wasn't as convinced of Mu Qing 's guilt as he acted. He was just pissed and being an asshole. Mu Qing's disappearance is what actually shakes Feng Xin's belief in Mu Qing.
They have another argument earlier about JL:
-Feng Xin assumes the worst
-Mu Qing explains
-Feng Xin backs down for the moment (and goes to have a nervous breakdown)
-but when he sees him again he starts attacking him (avalanche scene), and this fight is bad enough that they've actually pulled weapons on each other
-This fight/argument continues until Hua Cheng shows up and they have bigger things to worry about
Then we have this:
Feng Xin's pattern might be:
Get mad, assume the worst, say things he doesn't mean, eventually calms down about it/acts like it's fine.
There are a couple times where he's argued into shutting up. It's just that he will bring that thing out, that he has been acting like he calmed down about and accepted, when he's mad.
I think he actually does at least subconsciously believe an Mu Qing Explanation PowerPoint. Why? Because that's what his overall behavior reflects. Or, even if, let's say he doesn't believe anything Mu Qing says ever, thinks he's the fucking worst: he still goes on little adventures with him and hangs out with him.
He doesn't suffer people he dislikes very much, does he? He doesn't even want Xie Lian to hang out with Hua Cheng! He's very "don't associate with those kinds of people." Actually, basically everything you "know" about Feng Xin, is not quite accurate by the end of the book, just like it is with Mu Qing.
Anyway, he still happily puts Xie Lian in a dress with Mu Qing. That's basically the definition of a sworn brother.
But at the end of the day, even though I think this is all very shitty behavior on Feng Xin's part and jail for Feng Xin, jail for Feng Xin for One Thousand Years, their relationship is something Mu Qing likes. He cares what he thinks about him. He doesn't want Feng Xin to think badly of him. Despite Feng Xin being the least generous person with benefit of the doubt, he still defends himself with him and the only other person he does that with is Xie Lian. Everyone else he's accepted he can't do anything about.
Like they must be having good times together that they both find worthwhile or they wouldn't be together. He must find things about him that he values.
Best guess is: he admires Feng Xin's selflessness and devotion to "what's right", the same way he thinks Xie Lian is cool. He wants to be around these two people. These are also the aspects he fucking hates the most and says are stupid and pointless and will get you killed. He hates this behavior, he rants about it, he is horrified by it, and yet he is someone who does it over and over and over again. And it always comes back to bite him in the ass.
As for what Feng Xin likes about Mu Qing...I don't know. Like I can't even guess. He likes the Queen a lot who is gentle and kind hearted and he likes the bravery and toughness of JL. He idolizes Xie Lian. But at no point does he assert Mu Qing is anything but the opposite of those people. Even when he has evidence to the contrary he forgets it or dismisses it. So I really have no idea what a canon reason is for him to like Mu Qing.
Maybe he thinks "I'll go with him because it seems fun or interesting" and "I have to protect him" and doesn't consciously attribute any part of that to Mu Qing.
It's possible he doesn't actually like him, as much as I hate to admit it, this would be mind-numbingly realistic for a guy that doesn't like thinking deeply about things. I think a lot of people don't think too deeply about friendship, because most of the time it's about familiarity and proximity and availability. We both like this activity, you're the person I know, we do it together. I'm sure you've met people, even married couples, that when it comes down to it don't actually like each other, they're just together out of familiarity and habit.
I do wonder what it would have been like if Mu Qing had died, that's kind of the usual outcome for a character like this, I feel like I rarely see in an adult book where a character like this has a suicide mission and then is ok or not, idk, very fucked up by it at least.
I do think they're friends, canonically, but I think their relationship is very unlike what we're used to seeing. But I also think mirrors closely a lot of relationships you see in real life, especially with dudes who hang out but don't figure out a Very Important Subject Ever.
Mostly this was just me making notes to myself and then I thought I'd share.
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HERE WE GO! WELCOME TO THE PAGE PALS PROJECT! THIS IS YOUR CONVERSATION STARTER FOR CHAPTER ONE. FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ASKS OR JOIN THE DISCORD FOR MORE!
HANDY LINKS/INFO:
chapter: i. out of sand (baby girl)
wordcount: 10, 157
playlist: notes here
castles FAQ: here
g e n e r a l t h o u g h t s:
I felt very emotional, beginning this chapter. There is a sense of finality in this project that I hadn't quite grasped before. This is - in all probability - the last time I read this fic. This is the last time I read this chapter. A chapter I have read dozens of times in the past few years - every time I was stuck, every time I needed to 'get back in.' Most of these paragraphs roll off the tip of my tongue when I read them out loud, because I've seen them so many times. And, I know that for you, reading this, this might not be the last time. Because you will go back, re-read this fic as many times as you like for as long as the internet exists. But I won't. That's not how my brain works, and I need to put projects behind me. To make room for new ones. And, so there is a sense of excitement, yes, reaching the end, but also a sense of grief.
If everything goes well, and if I do post the last chapter when I intend to, castles will have been four years of my life, almost to the day. COVID came and went, so did a couple of jobs, a relationship, a parent. I recently listened to an interview from Alexandre Astier where he described meeting someone in a supermarket once, who asked for an autograph for her husband. 'Ah, he's a massive fan,' she said. 'Though, to be honest, I never got into your work myself.' He was talking about how, for 'normal' people, people who aren't artists, someone else's art is just that: something that you like or don't like. But, for us, it's a part of ourselves. It's thousands of hours of work. And, sometimes, I wonder what castles says about me. What these thousands of hours have come down to. If I die tomorrow, which I hope I do not, this is one the things that I will leave behind me. And, so: what does it say about me? I mean: beyond the politics and the feminism and the quirky little interests. I mean: me, as a person. What do castles readers know about me? I'm not sure I even want to know.
t h e r e - r e a d:
I really enjoyed re-reading this chapter. It's funny to me how for you guys, depending on when you started the fic, you might have read multiple versions of this. I didn't make any big changes, nothing massive, but I did add a couple of scenes/lines here and there throughout the years, I'm curious to see whether you will notice.
in terms of the chapter itself, i think one of the things i like most about it is how it flows. it has that very distinctive castles prose to it, with the timeline that moves back and forth, the run-on sentences, the spiralling in and out of scenes. i recently got a comment on ff.net (lol) that said the chapter was messy and unreadable. and i think in a way, i like that. because frankly, if that bothers you in chapter 1, then you're probably not the right person for this fic, you know? i think chapter one serves its function well. a first chapter is supposed to be an intro, a taste of what you will read next, and i think it is perfect in that. it introduces the plot, the dynamic between the characters. it's long enough to signal that this isn't a fic where you'll read fifteen chapters in half an hour. i think you can read chapter one and tell if this is a fic you'll enjoy or not. and, that's what i want, really. that's what a first chapter should do.
having said that, i think there are two things i want to specifically dive into.
t h e h y p o:
early in the writing of castles, i used to get a lot of criticism about my version of post-war harry and ginny. particularly, there seems to be a subsection of the hinny-shipping crowd that basically thinks that harry and ginny would just meet after the war, scream at each other (or, that at least, ginny would be angry at harry for leaving her behind), kiss and make up, and pour their hearts out to each other about past events. specifically, these people believe that ginny is very good at weeding secrets out of harry, at getting him to talk, and thus the events of castles are not canon compliant with both of these characters.
i feel like objectively, it's not really my place to say whether that's correct. i think multiple versions of the same thing can be 'correct' depending on how you write them. but, if that's what floats your boat, if you have a very strong headcanon about this, then fine - by all means, go read something else (again, that's also the point of chapter 1). but i think this hypothesis sort of stuck in my head for a while, in light of the comments i was getting, because i couldn't help but wonder if that version of things isn't simply an idealised version of reality.
because, to read the books strictly: 1) ginny's anger at harry isn't obvious. you could argue it is there but she's actually quite calm in the break up scene. i am not sure she is that angry with him, especially when you think that she's just been through a war, lost a brother, etc. i think ginny is someone who knows there is a time and place for anger, and who is also incredibly strong and resilient. she still kisses him even after the break-up, after he's clearly decided to leave her behind , so i'm not sure she would lash out in these circumstances. additionally, 2) there's actually not that much evidence that harry and ginny talk to each other - ever. they're a hot and heavy thing, but they don't share much emotional stuff on screen. you can interpret the 'sunlit days' however you want, in the absence of further information, but it's not a given that ginny ever shares anything of importance about her past or her traumas, like what happened with tom. the one scene everyone always points to is the 'lucky you' scene, but that's a mutual understanding more than it is a conversation. she actually never mentions anything beyond very utilitarian details meant to help harry realise he's not being possessed. and, harry never canonically tells ginny about anything of importance in his life either.
and so what all of these comments drove me to do, a few months ago (i think i added this in september 2023) was to link that to the theme of those early chapters of castles. because one of the key elements of chapters 1-3, specifically, is this idea of the lifeline. of the way harry and ginny have spent months, at this point, idealising each other, idealising their reunion, for it to later come crashing down on them. and so i thought i would use the opportunity of chapter one to 1) try and address the 'criticism' above, and 2) make it fit within the world of castles. it led to this:
In his head, their reunion would have been something sweet, like her lips moving against his, the taste of the raspberry-flavoured lip balm she used to wear the year before. He would have confessed to all of his sins, to almost dying, to Hallows and Horcruxes, to the fear and the nightmares, to leaving her behind. ‘I’m sorry,’ he would have said. ‘I am so, so sorry.’
And, he would have tried to explain like he did last year, that all he ever wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe, and she would have yelled. Shouted at the top of her lungs in a rapid succession of angry jabs about what an arsehole he was. ‘I can take care of myself!’ she would have thrown back. ‘You left me!’
He would have looked to his feet. With time, he hopes that they would have fixed it.
In reality, though, Ginny Weasley hands him a toothbrush that morning, as he sits back on his heels. Her stare digs holes into the side of his face and he wonders if, had he been Hermione or Luna (had he been a friend, still), she would have cajoled him. Handed him a wet towel for his forehead. Instead, she closes the door behind her on her way out. ‘You should shower,’ she says.
i love the sort of whiplash effect this scenes gives, of the fantasy v. post-war reality, which is obviously a massive theme in castles. and i also love the way it subtly signals that ginny might have changed (just like he has) throughout the war. because, obviously, she has, and we later find out why.
s e x a n d f u n e r a l s:
i cannot express how attached i am to that scene, and to that line in particular. i think there's a number of reasons for this:
first, it's the line that basically motivated me to start castles for real in 2020. i have said this before in other posts but i started drafting some sort of post-war hinny fic as early as 2007. i never finished anything, then when i was 17 (2010), i did a re-read and actually drafted something new. then dropped it again. and, that file transferred from laptop to laptop, from file to file for ten years without me touching it much. until covid came and i was looking through my drive, and i tenderly read what 17-year-old me had written back then, including this 'first time' sex scene which, to be honest, has mostly remained untouched in the final version of this. and, i remember finding it, reading it, and thinking the rest of what i had written was a bit cringe, but that one scene seemed to work. and then, i got to the (now famous) line: to him, the spring of '98 is about sex and funerals, and thought fuck, that's a good line. like, a really good line. and i didn't want to let it go to waste. and, so, four years later, here we are.
i think that line is a very good symbol of what this story is about. 'sex and funerals' - it's a metaphor for how life is about the good and the bad things. that they co-exist as one single entity, and that the beauty of what we do, of the way we live, resides somewhere in between. it's why i chose it as the summary back then, and why it is still the summary now. i really built the entire fic around that line. so, yeah, 17-year-old jo, you already had something going for you, darling.
l a s t l y:
a thought i had while re-reading (and please don't come at me for this), is that... this could have been a one-shot. like, it really could have. i finished chapter 1 and there's a sort of finality to it, isn't there? like, i'm glad i continued this fic, but part of me thinks that all i've been trying to say in the past four years actually is in this chapter. obviously, not as detailed or subtle, but it's there, you know? it could have been a one-shot, lmao.
but anyway, i'm curious, did you guys enjoy your re-read? did you notice the changes i made throughout the years? did you enjoy them? feel free to send me an ask or join the discord server to discuss. i'm so excited to get this discussion started and hear your thoughts!
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(Made a thing last night and decided that it can't go on my own blog cuz I don't have enough reference info to make it an au so it goes here! This is terribly worded but here we go.)
A social experiment, they had said.
They'd put you in countless simulations, different methods of torture and torment over and over and over again to test a human's limits, what made the brain tick.
In the end, something had to give.
You pace in your cell, eyes occasionally flicking to the clear glass wall separating you from the world, the only thing in your enclosure that wasn't stark white.
Ah, yes. How they loved observing the animals in their cages.
They didn't nearly like interacting as much as watching, you'd noticed. You know how much the self-entitled guards and doctors here despised meeting with the demented, 'uncivilized' inmates.
Five years in an empty 30 foot squared room with only your thoughts does that to you.
They claimed their goal was rehabilitation, but everyone knew it was a lie. No one here was here to get better, they were here to be locked away, out of sight and out of mind to keep the peace others were blissfully granted and which you were denied. Everyone knew that once you walked in, you'd never walk out.
You sigh and trek the short perimeter of the enclosure once more. Not much else to do here. You might have been more sane had you gotten some stimulation early on, but there had been nothing to keep the dark at bay. There still is nothing, but you don't mind. You pass the time careful planning and eavesdropping on the sentinel. They think so little of the inmates and their mental capacity that they'll discuss anything under the sun. Still, their stupidity was useful, so you aren't complaining. You'd learned that apparently a new pair of psychologists were to be stationed here in the coming week after the 'discharge' of the previous ones. Fools didn't even want to admit they were dead. It was their own fault, really. Anyone worth their name knows not to get to close with the inmates. Another oversight you use to your advantage.
You wonder what a pair of newbies saw in coming here of all places. Fresh out of med school and applying for residency. Poor kids probably didn't know what they were getting into when they signed up at an insane asylum. Well, no reason you can't act reasonable with them for a little while, just to test the waters. Best way to get out of prison is to befriend the wardens, after all.
You'd waited this long.
(Essentially an au where Y/N [or an oc] is an inmate at an insane asylum in the 1800s. Sun and Moon are psychologists fresh out of med school working there for the credit. Y/N is HIGHLY DANGEROUS and well past mentally broken but is also very good at acting and can simulate typical behavior perfectly, to the point where doctors sometimes ask why they're even here at all. They're much like the Joker and Harley Quinn scenario. Y/N's plan is to escape prison and enact vengeance on those who dared to keep this shitshow of a mental institution going. They see it as justified because of the way they were treated and made broken until they couldn't be fixed, and they're willing to do anything to meet their goal.
This is not a happy-go-lucky au, guys, which is why I honestly don't think I'd ever write it, mainly cuz the concept as a love story would just demean the actual history behind the establishments of those times and their horrible conditions. Might as well share with the class, though.)
ㅤ
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Dearest Żmija, i wanted to share this thought i had with you after i got high last night. I thought perhaps it may entertain you.
fact nr 1)
The sun is a massive star quite close by which has magnetic eruptions sometimes. We feel weird when there are magnetic storms, (we’ve had strong ones lately) and that has caused a lot of light/unrestful sleep due to the magnetic storms. This has happened for ages and due to our brains being tiny ridiculously squishy machines that work thanks to *electricity* in a way, and getting what is quite possibly, a super-charge, we sleep unwell, and we get wonky and our dreams become, hm. Curious. Different.
Fact 2) back in the past, because people didn’t have the scientific understanding we do, of planets and space, they would make a god out of this celestial object-being. It was Apollo, it Was Helius, it was Horus, it was 3 thousand different gods with 3 thousand different explanations of the behaviour but see,
Fact 3) the sun would still be erupting at this time and even though they did not know physically what was happening and why, the people still felt and were aware somehow of solar activity, due to the effects it has on us anyhow. So they would exolain it probably as Huītzilōpōchtli raging, or Dazbog waging war, or something like that. Maybe. They would create stories around this.
Thought… we have more evidence in all manners of ways of what is going on than they did, sure, but… in a way… what we are being taught about how life and the world is *is* in fact… just another story.
Yes! With plenty of evidence! I am not a denier of science at all!! But! It is…a collectively approved story….
Thought…we are a race that lives on stories… everything has to have an explanation, in a way, and we are no different as a whole from the people who lived 1000 years ago 2000 3-4-5.. we are people. We explain things with stories.
Thought… because we know belief is very much a powerful thing, what if… belief creates reality… somehow. And their reality was indeed of apollo and horus being what they are, and the sun being them… because at their time and to their people, this was the most accepted story of what was true and what wasn’t.
Another thought: Their reality lingers over ours. In some ways. Especially the ones that have stories that carry on till today in the minds of people. Not because the people of today who know them believe in them, necessarily, but because they still know their stories. And their stories linger in our minds and spark our imagination and our curiosity! So what if, because these stories were so prevalent, and they stay with us till today in many places and many ways…why can’t these gods still be with us, in some ways?
Personal belief: all the stories that exist within the minds of people are a reality SOMEWHERE and the stars are the portals to them: during their lifetime they absorb all the stories the beings within their systems come up with. When the star goes supernova, the worlds are created (just as ours is destroyed), and when it gets to the point of becoming a black hole, the black hole is in fact a portal to the worlds and the stories that the beings imagined. Due to the nature of the black holes however, going through them is actually impossible so this personal belief is going to stay just so. A belief, rather than a thing of fact.
ah, my dearest stranger, do write to me every time you are high - it is a wonderful joy to read what your mind conjures while in such a state.
all hail the golden boar in the skies.
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What are your Top Three Do's and Don'ts when it comes to Writing and generally what are some helpful tips you would give to new writers
ah! I always hesitate with this because there’s really no right way and everyone has their own style. I guess here are some that are more about the process! and because most of the advice I see I don’t necessarily agree with.
1) Do not: edit while you write. now this is really tempting to do but sometimes, it actually hinders the creative flow. because you’re going back and forth, doubting yourself instead of just writing it all down. there’s a whole editing process to follow but first, just write it down. rewrite later.
2) Do: read a lot! I think the biggest thing that helps as a writer is reading others. of course you’ll have your own style but different books and different genre’s can offer so much. like maybe fantasy can help with world-building. drama can help with tension and conflict. I’d say find books that you like and really take note of the things you liked and didn’t like.
3) Do not: force yourself to write! I know there’s a lot of advice that says “make yourself write even if it’s just a few paragraphs!” and while that might help with the skill, it doesn’t really help with creativity. honestly forcing yourself to write while in writer’s block is actually more detrimental. sometimes it��s good to take a break.
4) Do: write down your ideas! I know we may not end up writing every idea that we have but sometimes leaving small notes here and there can go a long way. personally I get a lot of good ideas in the middle of the night and if I don’t write them down, I’ll forget them the next morning. so even if it’s one or two words, write it down somewhere!
5) Do not: rush yourself! this sort of goes hand in hand with don’t force yourself to write when you’re not feeling it. a lot of the time you’ll make errors, you’ll stress yourself out, and it won’t be as fun if you rush. so take a deep breath and write at a comfortable pace. even if it takes you weeks just to write something,
6) Do: proofread and edit after you’ve finished the first draft. also yes, draft! go through one time, make notes of what you liked about what you wrote, what could be better, and what can be rewritten or changed. recently a friend told me that they color code their drafts and I thought that was seriously so helpful so I’ve started doing that.
I kept it more to the writing process because within writing itself, it really depends on what you do and don’t like. it’s individual preference. for example: my brain completely tunes out of there are paragraphs upon paragraphs of description about something. personally I like one to two paragraphs giving me just enough but leaving the rest up to my own imagination.
my biggest advice: JUST WRITE! don’t doubt yourself, just write your idea down if you have one. follow your muse! 😊
hope this is somewhat helpful.
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What are your favorite non-LM Montgomery stories/fandoms (if you feel like sharing)?
This question sent me wandering down a memory lane! It's actually rare for me to participate in fandoms online, although I'll gobble up funny tumblr posts and fics if a particular story latches onto my brain--star wars is really the only other one I'm active, even if that is primarily just writing fic. I think the only other fandoms I've ever gotten really into are Star Wars and Merlin. Between those two, Merlin definitely is the favorite although Star Wars is probably my favorite story. Sorry to the Star Wars fandom, but there's this weird sense of entitlement I've observed (that's present in any fandom to a degree tbf) about how everyone should interpret the characters op's way or they're basic, and that x opinion is not only bad, it's also immoral. Given how big the fandom is and how there usually isn't one dominant opinion but rather factions, the resulting (and usually hypocritical) squabbling disinterests me. I don't want to feel like I have to have a 'star wars political party' to engage with other blogs haha ("oh i'm dni about this ship but pro jedi" etc etc), especially as I'm the sort of person who will explore different interpretations for fun. That's partly why I have loved my LMM peeps so much, because even where there's disagreement, it's usually civil and more importantly, fun :D
anyhow, now that I've gone completely off track haha and told you about my NONfavorite fandoms, I'll sheepishly actually answer your question. I really loved Merlin when I watched it, because I love me some non-gritty fantasy with a sense of humor and a "chosen one" storyline. I have spent many a glorious hour reading fic where Merlin reveals his magic (ah! the catharsis!) and will probably spend many more. In a similar ilk, I've always had a soft spot for Spider-Man in my heart, specifically the older and crankier teacher Peter Parker version from the comics because he's the Ideal. Both of these are further back on the memory lane (more of high school batrachised than Charlotte lucas period of my life batrachised), but they are still near and dear in my heart.
Now in terms of my favorite stories, for THIS question I had to pull out that bad boy, the bulleted list!! (😱) I generally prefer children's fiction to YA nowadays because I like stories that have something to say, and while there are certainly YA books that fill that gap (I'm about to list several! and btw i'd definitely include THG in that), the expectations for children's novels are such that there is usually a "moral," while a good chunk of YA seems to be more "hot people kissing" and a lot of adult fiction is just dreary to me. I don't really participate in the fandoms for any of these below because first of all, they don't exist lmao, but also I didn't feel the need to change or add anything to the story.
Ella Enchanted. I love Gail Carson Levine's fairytales, and Ella is a refreshing and unique idea. When I say I love fantasy stories, what I really mean is that I love Ella Enchanted. I love how Char and her are friends first, and the scene at the end where she [censored for spoilers] and so gets her happily ever after still influences my writing today.
A Monster Calls. Weeping, on the floor, every time I read it it destroys me. I love its gentleness towards grief, and I love its brutal honesty. I also love its recognition of the power of a story. Sometimes I see (and say myself!) "It's just a story," but stories are powerful and should be treated as such. They aren't worth more than people, but they can teach you much people are worth.
Strange the Dreamer. This novel was gorgeously well-written, and its main character is an absent minded librarian who goes on an adventure--how could anyone resist! I remember recommending it to someone and they stayed up very late to finish it haha, they couldn't put it down. It's too wonderful.
Frog and Toad. Yes, they're picture books, And what about it !!? These picture books are cozy and well-written and have more to say than many a long novel I've read. Plus my blog name and brand require inclusion of a toad related bullet.
The Power and the Glory: I just wrote a post about this one, but anything by Graham Greene always makes me stare at the wall afterwards questioning my life. Funnily enough, this is dreary like the other adult fiction I dismissed, but although it's a hopeless situation with hopeless characters, Graham Greene's writing is strong enough this to have become one of my favorite books. Normally after I read fiction like that, I just feel depressed. This book, while dreary, was thought provoking.
A Canticle for Leibowitz. A post apocalyptic novel...that's not about fighting zombies or a book version of an action movie, but about monks. I know that's a complete reduction of the plot, but the idea of a post-nuclear world from the perspective of monks was such a unique idea, it grabbed my brain and didn't let go.
A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking. I love all of Ursula Vernon's work for her sense of humor. They're always very well written and I nod along to myself at different points thinking "correct," as the narrator discusses how true love is spending time debating your favorite type of cheese, or how baking so wonderful because you put in all that effort and have chocolate chip cookies at the end to show for it.
Holes. This book not only ties every plot thread together satisfactorily, it does it with a bow, it's that well done. This was my favorite book as a child and has stood the test of time because it's still one of my favorite books as an adult.
Up a Road Slowly. Of all the books on this list, this is the most LMM similar. It definitely is sexist, I'll warn, but the characterization can be incredible. The uncle stays with me as a remarkably complex but well written character.
Heart's Blood. The best Beauty and the Beast version, full stop, thank u very much !! In general Juliet Marillier is one of my favorite fantasy authors.
Calvin and Hobbes. there's really nothing to say here other than it's perfect haha.
A Deadly Education. A take on the magical school--that's dark and intriguing. What if Hogwarts was trying to kill you? i never got into harry potter myself because I read the books when I was slightly too old for them, so this was one of the first "magical school" books I read that captivated my imagination.
James Herriot. I love the old tv show (haven't seen the new one), but i love the books more. Siegfried and Tristan are hilarious, and James Herriot is similar to LMM in that he takes a simple and ordinary setting and bestows it with magic through his writing.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith novelization. "Puh-lease," you might be thinking, a movie novelization? Listen to me. Listen. I went through a period in my life where I'd casually read movie novelizations for the fun extra scraps of details. Normally, I'd idly flip my way through and be like eh that was okay, it's a novelization so whatever. I picked this up, and was left being like like what the actual fuck did I just read. This novel is incredible. It's so good that it changed my tepid feelings on the movie and prequels to "ROTS is now one of my favorite stories." I finished that book thinking "where was this movie??" I don't know what Matthew Stover was on when he wrote this, but it singlehandedly redeemed the prequels for me.
Other non book ones: i love the LOTR movies (and books but I don't reread them often), the narnia movies, Stand by Me, the secret life of walter mitty, the prince of egypt, greta gerwig's little women (sobbing. on the floor.). and v for vendetta. I also love New Girl because Nick Miller. In general, same with books, my favorite movies tend to demonstrate a distinct moral imagination and grit rather than just focusing on the journey of a character's emotional health. (ergo, I find prince of egypt much more interesting than turning red, although turning red was a good movie!)
There's also Dear Enemy from Jean Webster (aka the author of daddy long legs) bc her work is also similar to LMM, buuuut it literally and explicitly supports eugenics (a character will occasionally and casually say "we need to let those irish die for the good of society") sooo if you choose to read, know that that's in there depending on your comfort level with gross historical period conventions. (the goodreads reviews are kind of funny because people are like well I liked the story but, um,)
thank you for this ask and your patience with my meandering response!! it was a lot of fun to think of "hmm, what have I stayed up to 3AM reading fanfic for in the past," and you're tempting me to revisit some of these stories :D
#on the note of the sw fandom#i remember once I explored a different interpretation than my typical one in one of my sw fics#and I got this long upset comment with the gist of “I thought I KNEW you” lmao#it wasn't even a hate comment- this person was genuinely upset#and I wanted to pat them gently on the head and say “it's not that deep my friend"#fandom is a hobby and not a religion
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fic writer asks: 🌈🎈☯️?
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?
There is not! Not that I don't work hard/struggle with my writing, but if I'm having difficulty with a scene you can bet I've been whining about it to anyone who'll listen |D For scenes/themes I struggle with in general, though, definitely the connective tissue scenes which are required between Plot Point A and Plot Point B. In which just enough has to happen to pass some time or set things up, and very often my mind goes very ???? ????? for those and I keep sort of tapping away with random lines until something clicks and I'm like "ah yes this will work".
(I can think of themes I would definitely struggle with, but those are themes that would not tend to surface in my work at all, for a variety of reasons. You won't ever get high angst in my stories, for instance.)
🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?
My style tends to be a kind of bastardisation between Janny Wurts, Guy Gavriel Kay, and Stephen King. 8|a It does change on the regular, subtle fluid changes which largely depend on who I've been reading more of lately-- I'm very easily influenced and inspired by the styles of others if I fall in love with their writing, but I suspect I have a base that stays the same underneath. The more confident I get with a piece of writing, the more experimental the writing may get, and sometimes I start something on a whim and go HEY YEAH LET'S BE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and I end up first person present tensing all over the place or some such weirdness. I shift slightly based on the kind of story I want to write. Most of my stuff falls into the action/adventure category so that's what you'll see most of the time. But then I want to write something that focuses far more on environment and harsh reality, and I'll sit down and try and really make my writing reflect that. I can see the difference. (It's much, much harder and doesn't come naturally. I'd put Snowblind in this category.)
So...mostly fixed, wavers a bit at the edges, then changes drastically for drastically different themed projects (but probably veers closer to what most people are familiar with as I go on those).
☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?
Oof. Okay, so, I actually have a social anxiety disorder and a generalised anxiety disorder, so... I can say that, for me, it's very hard to reach out to other fandom people. When they engage with me first I can meet them on their level and it's much easier from there as my brain has tagged them as "oh they want to talk to me! :D :D" and thus it's easier? This is why my reviews to everyone ever are extremely terrible and one note because my mind goes utterly blank when I try to tug on someone else's sleeve and go "...hey", but I can reply to people just fine! The onus shouldn't be on other people, though, so I keep trying.
For the other part of the question-- I think engagement is very important. It allows people in fandom to feel seen, to engage and share their love of characters and find other people on their wavelength, and it keeps fandoms healthy and colourful and alive. (It also creates drama, yes, so navigate the waters with care and don't feed the trolls.) So I'm always happy to talk fandom with people and I reply to all comments I get these days (I did go through a huge portion of time I didn't respond at all and I'm sorry to all those people who wrote me at Underdark or elsewhere and didn't get a response, you were seen and I loved you) and I'm happy just being silly in my own corner with anyone who wants to come and be silly with me. \o/
...just don't ask me for in depth analysis on stuff because I'm... decent at writing that in a fictional sense but not so much on the fly. lmao.
Thank you!
Ask meme is here.
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Hi Rachel! Hope things are going well for you! I was wondering, since this is a frequent topic on your blog/channel, how do you still enjoy your work while letting go of perfectionism? Enjoying what I write is super important to my process and with keeping me going, but the constant over-worrying and embarrassment of what I put down really slows me down and leaves me feeling terrible lol... I know I need to learn to think differently of my own work but I’m a bit uncertain of where to start and what else I could try and appreciate instead. Sorry if this is too vague or broad of a question! No pressure to come up with a solid, one answer or anything. Just hearing your thoughts/experiences would be helpful!
This is a really, really good question! I wrote THIS ask that sort of addresses this too, if you haven't already seen it!
I think at the end of the day, loving your writing despite perfectionism all comes down to graceful self-compassion. Not every day is going to be perfect. Sometimes I still hate my writing (me! right! now!), and it's good to know that ahead of time. If I'm aware I'm not always going to like my work (which is realistic for me), I can then also tell myself that it doesn't make sense to harp too long on things I don't like when my opinion will inevitably change.
Some days it's really about gritting your teeth and pretending you like the work (also! me! right! now!). Find words or lines or images you like and focus your energy there!
One of the mistakes I made when first endeavoring on my writing self-love journey was making goals that were too big. I remember when I wrote Moth Work, the goal was "let's just dump all my shit writing here and see where that goes" and where that went was me developing severe perfectionism LOL. I then went alllll the way to other extreme and was like "okay well let me make all this writing perfect" which is literally an impossible task! Eventually I found the middle.
Now, I'm able to write something like Seventh Virtue and be like "ah yes, let me dump all my shit writing here" because the project also demands different things. For MW, it made no sense to ask myself of that when a HUGE part of what I enjoyed about writing that book was the actual prose itself (I mean makes sense, it's literary fiction). For SV, the prose is important, but not THE most important thing, so my goal of "don't care what happens I just want to have fun" is more feasible within those genre constraints.
So perhaps look at the project you're writing & see where you can create a realistic goal for yourself? I find asking what I like about the project helps inform those goals. So as I said, I liked the pretty prose in MW, so I wanted to retain that. The goal then became, "alright, I'll draft what I can in the moment, and I'll accept that at points, I'm not going to feel comfortable and I will feel cringe and I will feel embarrassed. But after my drafting session, I'll come back and tinker with the draft if needed" (this is actually how I'm currently writing BODY BACK haha).
For Seventh Virtue, I'm quite sensitive to the plot being causally warranted, so the goal is "okay, I'll try to draft each scene from the previous so a firmer causal chain is created, but I will miss scenes, write scenes that aren't needed, etc, and that's fine because I can address that later."
When I realized I could tailor my goal for the specific project, things really opened up for me because it showed me I didn't need to stick to one writing process. On here, y'all get basically first draft Seventh Virtue (99% of it hasn't been touched since coming out of my brain), but get a franken first draft-ish (sometimes 2nd or 3rd) of BB because I cycle through phrasings in my mind while I write (which I don't do in SV LOL). Those are two different drafting processes, so they deserve two different goals so I can better enjoy them.
Also I would say... don't be afraid of discomfort. Writing is so uncomfortable sometimes. I mean look at me in 2020--I HATEEDDD MW! And now it's like... the best thing I've ever written, IMO. We're not objective critics of our own work when we go into it hating it so much (or being embarrassed/ashamed by it, etc, whatever emotion fits your current situation). So that shows us the feelings we're having are feelings, not facts. And feelings are good to have! But they don't have to dictate everything forever. Feel them, and then *try* to accept them and move on. That might not be easy, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
I used to STRESS so much when a sentence/scene/paragraph wasn't working. Is that how I explain the 30-60k of each novel I cut between 2018-2020? Yep! Now I stress a little less. And I hardly cut things until I get to the actual revision process (~2k/project).
Okay finally, I've been meaning to use this analogy and this is the perfect timing for it. I've been learning the fun fingerstyle guitar in Jeff Buckley's version of Corpus Christie Carol for almost two months now. When I first started learning that song, LOL, I couldn't play ANYYYY of it. It confused me. I was frustrated. But, I genuinely knew that if I kept practicing, it'd sound 100% better a couple months from now. And now I can almost play it well haha.
It's funny how writers (me included!) forget that practice and failing and sounding bad and writing nonsense is a very important part of the process, but how in other art forms, it's just a given. My brother is an incredible musician and I would never expect him to play a riff perfectly on the first go when he's only heard it once or twice. When he makes mistakes when playing, I either don't notice at all or don't care because it's a given. I just KNOW that as a musician, if I keep practicing, I'll eventually get it (and I almost always do--in some cases, it's too hard and I quit, and that's fine to do too).
I'm actually learning a new song on guitar rn, I'll record it and put it in a video as a visual haha. The amount of times you play the exact same note over and over again... The amount of times you KNOW you're playing the wrong thing but keep playing it wrong anyway because it hasn't quite clicked... It's all part of it! I still enjoy that practice, because it's fun! We can apply that to writing too.
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Yes, that's a diary. The question was probably meant to be more about form and process in writing. A lot of INFJs seem to write the type of fiction that gets nominated for the Booker Prize but it's hard to find popular or teen or children's fiction by them. Often research heavy and they've thought about the subject for a long time before writing. Like they research, go to sleep, process the world, wake up and write.
Ah okay, sorry about that. Then I'm not entirely sure what your question is, but you're right, INFJ writers aren't exactly a common sight to see on any bestseller's list. In fact, I haven't found any INFJ writers yet, possibly because I strongly gravitate to books that were written by TPs, so maybe I just keep walking past the occasional INFJ authors that are there. And I don't know where you found so many INFJs writers that you can draw conclusions (teach me your secrets please) because the only INFJ I know who writes is me, so that's unfortunately the only viewpoint I can offer you, I'm afraid. But speaking for myself then, I agree, I absolutely would not start writing the minute I get a cool idea, but it's also not so clear cut. Like I said in the other ask, my own writing process is very similar to that of Markus Zusak, the ENTJ. Things happen in parallel. I can't spend several months only researching and only then start to write. Makes my brain dry out and the story feels dead before the writing has even begun. I can edit such things later. But the story does become kind of all-consuming. There is no space for other thoughts than the story anymore, but it's not necessarily a conscious planning process or anything. Your mind just turns into sort of a haze. Sometimes you write chapters you don't even want to use, but just to get a feel for the characters and let them grow into a person that feels real until you know what kind of decisions they would make to drive the story. Every character needs a narrative purpose and every character needs to have different dynamics with each of the other characters. I feel like that's where most of my thoughts and planning goes to. But the narrative has to make logical sense and every action that happens needs repercussions that have repercussions on something else and that's also something to always keep in mind. But the process of planning all of that, for me at least, is usually done by staring at the wall for like three hours and most of the notes I make are either dialogue ideas or hundreds of questions to poke at every logical error or hole I notice and to drive my thoughts in specific directions. But I don't write any detailed outlines or character descriptions. I don't find that helpful at all (and I've tried) because it always feels like it constrains the mind.
Really not sure if this is making any sense or if this is what you were looking for, but that's all I can give you, really.
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You know sometimes something will happen in fandom that feels not quite racist but still iffy and I never know if I should say something or ignore it because it never seems intended to be racist.
The not quite racist thing that inspired me to make this post is actually a crossover au.
Specifically the Paulina Sanchez (from Danny Phantom) and Damian Wayne (from DC Batman) are twins au.
Which feels vaguely racist because I feel like the root of the au is that Paulina and Damian have skin tones close to the same color, green(ish in Paulina's case) eyes, and black hair.
Even though Paulina is latina and Damian is a mix of middle eastern, chinese, and white.
And it's mainly the twin version of the Damian and Paulina are siblings au that gives me this discomfort, because it seems like most of the people who write for this AU don't mention race swapping as part of the AU.
So my brain automatically goes "Ah yes, these twin children, one who is all latina, and the other who is middle eastern/chinese/white, who came from the coupling of a white guy and a middle eastern/chinese woman."
They don't even bring up Mr. Sanchez, Paulina's doting single father. No he's essentially reduced to just some guy or completely absent in these aus by the nature of the twin AU.
Especially versions where Paulina is raised along side Damian in the League.
Even though they could do the race swapping and make it interesting. Having Paulina being ethically arabian/chinese/white but raised in latino culture due to her latino adoptive father is interesting.
Heck making Bruce a Latino who's completely disconnected from his culture due to his parents dying when he was a kid and then being raised completely outside of Latino culture, with one of his kids being far more connected to their latino roots is interesting.
But no one ever seems to go those routes.
It's why I vastly prefer the half-siblings version of this au.
Where even if Paulina's mom is Talia Al Ghul, her dad is still doting papa Sanchez, and not Bruce Wayne.
Damian was grown in an artificial womb to be perfected as the League's future leader (and Ra's future meat suit), while Paulina was grown in Talia's womb as part as a long term undercover mission that involved her developing a civilian identity and living as a civilian for a few years while gathering information.
She married Mr. Sanchez and had Paulina under a false identity, and then when it was time to go back to the League faked her death.
Ra's didn't really care about Paulina's existence due to her birth outside of the League, and her being the daughter of just some random guy as far as Ra's was concerned.
Like Nyssa's kids and grandkids. Decedents of his who aren't part of the League are irrelevant until proven otherwise useful in Ra's mind. He full on let all of Nyssa's decedents get murdered in the holocaust because he cared so little about them.
If they aren't part of the League he does not care they exist unless he can use them in some way.
So in conclusion while I don't actually think the Paulina Sanchez and Damian Wayne are twins crossover AU is actually racist, it does make me cringe a little because if feels a bit like someone went "these two light brown skinned characters look similar enough. Why not have them be twins" and then thought nothing more about it.
And I feel like I don't get this weird feeling with the AUs where Danny and Damian are twins or full blood siblings because it feels like most of them mention Danny being race swapped to the same ethnicity as Damian, even if he's also said to be white passing (though not all of the stories make him white passing).
Though I tend to feel this way about most AUs where two characters who are different races are made full biological siblings and race swapping is no where to be seen.
Half siblings I can deal with, especially if it's not a stretch or impossible for the character to be multiracial already, because we never see one of their bio-parents.
Exactly how it is with Paulina (you thought my ADHD ass lost the plot didn't you). We never see hide nor hair of Paulina's mother in canon, she's never even mentioned actually, and while Paulina is the spitting image of her father, I'd 100% buy Talia Al Ghul getting married and having a baby as part of some kind of long term information gathering mission, and that baby being Paulina Sanchez.
So yeah, that's why I prefer the Paulina and Damian are half-siblings through Talia AUs over Paulina and Damian are twins AUs.
Also, protective older half sister Paulina who though raised fully civilian can make grown men cry using just her words, teaches her adorable grumpy little brother the correct way to do eyeliner and that the humble nail file is the ideal secret weapon is all I need in life.
Like I need Talia's head bitch in charge energy to be genetic. None of this, Paulina spent her early life in the League of course she's so cutthroat, nonsense, no she's just born like that.
#So I have feelings about the Paulina and Damian are twins au#I don't seriously think anyone who writes for or enjoys this au is racist#but also this AU can give off the vibe of people seeing two not-white characters and going:#“Ah yes these two are similar enough shades of brown to be siblings”#even though they're completely different races and the vast majority of the time that just goes completely unaddressed#it also gives off a really weird vibe because it feels like I've never seen a Damian and Paulina are twins post where there is race swappin#but also not everyone needs to be related to Bruce#let Talia have relationships outside of him
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I PICKED A WHOLE BUNCH AGAJAHS
⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
🙋♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfiction?
💖 What made you start writing?
❌ What's a trope you will never write?
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?
⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?
WAHOOO TY :D
⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?
So many. So so many. You would not believe the amount of scrapped or unfinished pieces that I've got in my drafts. Definitely more than what has been posted here for SURE.
🙋♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfiction?
Yeah, I'm fairly open about it with my closest friends (who do like to clown on me for being a genshin impact fan and an anime boy enjoyer etc etc (all in good fun tho)) though I wouldn't tell them the name of my blog. My boyfriend knows of course, he often gets early admission to ideas and brainrots and drafts and access to the fics I'd never post online :3
💖 What made you start writing?
Not a point of bragging but I've always had a bit of a knack for writing, so as I began to fall behind in other subjects I kind of threw myself more into writing - a lot of it came about for coping reasons, just me seeking to make things that could comfort me when I was feeling down, ways to get certain ideas to stop rolling around in my head so much, or even ways to help me process things I was going through at big times in my life (even if I didn't realise it at the time - there are some fics I go back and read and realise ive unintentionally been mirroring real life things that were happening to me during that time).
I also am just a sort of. creative person in general, I do a lot of visual art but I find it takes a lot of spoons and mental energy that I just don't always have - I've been slowly learning to take more pride in my writing and the way it has improved over the years - sometimes I struggle to see my own writing as a 'valid' piece of art because I just... I find it almost... easy, if that makes sense? It takes less spoons and often feels like less thought so my brain kind of goes "ah yes I'm somehow cheating at this" and refuses to see it as a Real Piece of Media I Created. But I've been getting better!! So yeah I think I've always been a bit of a writer but I only really started getting into it around high school, and I only started posting it online super recently (this blog is the first time ive ever shared my writing with a wider audience!)
sorry for the mostly offtopic ramble aha im a little all over the place rn but yeah !! this was an interesting subject to think about ty <3
❌ What's a trope you will never write?
Honestly? There's genuinely not much i won't write. If I can find a way to spin it that'll get the brain juice flowing, I'm set. There are certain things I'd write that I'd never post, but that's a different kettle of fish entirely (thats such a strange phrase to me jkahsfd)
🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?
Childe and Itto are SO Fun to write, Childe for his general unhinged-ness, and Itto for his dialogue and himbo tendencies !! I'm enjoying writing Diavolo from om! for the same reasons honestly.
🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?
I like to clown to my bf about the notes and numbers and the like, like I'll say things like "oh damn tumblr is thirsty for diluc and not itto, how sad" but honestly numbers aren't something that phase me much - i think there are a few different aspects in which I feel like a fic of mine can be successful
The writing process - If i had fun writing it, thinking about it, and/or feel better/lighter for having written it, then it's a success in that aspect
Feedback - i try not to let too much hinge on this since it's such a finicky aspect but like. If i get positive feedback and comments on a piece, rest assured I've read every one about three times over. It makes me so happy to see others engage in my content, and to have people say things like "i needed this today" or "this made me smile" means more than any of you will ever ever know - writing is a source of comfort to me, and the fact that i'm able to share it and bring comfort to others as well is just. it makes me so so happy.
⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?
Really depends on the inspiration level and how I'm rotating the ideas around in my brain - some pieces I can get the idea, then have it started and finished within one sitting, others I need some time to kind of sit on before a scenario comes to me. If it's something I'm particularly inspired for I can reach well over 1k words an hour. I don't really edit or proofread the pieces I post either, I just hit send and hope for the best (I've definitely come back to a piece weeks later to realise there's been a typo in it the whole time, oops)
#asks#general barks#thanks so much for sending these in !! they were rly fun to answer oooo#general howls
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Sorry for such a fast response, I found myself too eager to reply! You could do the waffle thing with anything, honestly, it's just like a more aesthtically pleasing version of a circle chart! Honestly, it just came out of my brain one day? Let me know if it helps!
I saw you were reblogging some Bangtan Boys (that was a surprise to see, often I saw more One Direction on your blog) so here's one I found that seems to fit our little rapport. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715280/chapters/39203742 Would love to know your thoughts on it, whenever you have a chance.
Yes, Eddie has to be back-- especially because Joseph Quinn has been such a hit. I would love recommendations, please, for the videos! I know nothing about the Kas theory! Thank you!
I might have a bit of an ear for tone-- particularly music, but I find it hard to learn languages for some reason. Sweden! That's wonderful-- it doesn't sound like a stupid language at all, it just seems really interesting! Ah, wow, that's actually such a cool idea; do you like living there? I don't know anything about the culture... watched a few movies in the language though. I can't speak any languages, but I want to learn some? But there's so little time to do everything.
I heard somewhere that being called an old soul as a child meant you are autistic, and I said--- wha-- huh?! Not sure about that. Perhaps it does mean that you're acting more mature for your age-- not sure.
That's wonderful. I'm really glad they didn't leave you, and sometimes things are better when alcohol is away! I have some friends, sure-- it's hard to find the connections you want, though, as we've been discussing. Yes, you're worth so much! Everyone has inherent worth, but it's difficult to grasp it. I think of it as threads inside your ribcage-- you have to pluck them out sometimes and examine them. Do you have any, I guess, poetic thoughts about your body or spirit?
So, about your person you like: sometimes you can channel those feelings into writing? Or into playlists, or even into art? Or even make another blog to write down your feelings about them, or use a tag for them?
If I did reveal myself, it would be under special circumstances! No I will not elaborate, yet.
For spirituality/religious, I'd say I'm probably a mishmash of the two, you know? I take from religion and spirituality, and combine them, and that seems to work rather well. Do you lean towards any religions or believe that there's anything out there?
It's been a rough day today, honestly. A family member is very ruffled and I can't really help them because I'm too young (not a minor, dw), I'm just not experienced with money and I can't handle it when they start freaking out and threatening to sell the place just because of pipe replacement! It just gave me a sad feeling and it's not a very good mental health day-- I feel the urge to isolate, but not in a healthy way, do you know what I mean?
Yay for animals! I'll tell you one. It's a sugar Glider!! :D Because big eyes, very cute, and it flies around-- whenever I see you respond, my heart goes flying around the room-- yes it feels like that!
Dark things, I'm drawn to them, yes. It's rather morbid. Wow I'm touched you listened to them! I try and listen to more boppy happy music, but sometimes I let myself just-- go into that darkness. Yeah, something will happen eventually-- thanks for your consolation!
Perhaps the weekend will be good anyway? I hope so, for your sake. Are you doing anything fun this weekend, besides dealing with the coworker.
That song hit me hard in the ribcage. Again, it revolves back to that feeling of loving someone without knowing them, without having that experience. Having gone through more experiences, I can say that my heart has healed, but the yearning for that connection never goes away, and it's never been attached to any of my exes-- it's been attached to an unseen form, an unknown person.
Hope you have a good day/week, if you don't have energy to respond!
As ever,
SA
Hi!
First of all I want to apologize for taking so long to reply. Been feeling a bit paranoid because of anxiety, overthinking and things that's happened in the past (I won't elaborate on that). And I didn't want to reply while I felt like I couldn't be as open and honest as possible. But I'm here now, most of the paranoia gone, so let's do this!
You never have to apologize for giving me a quick response. Seeing this pop up in my inbox so fast after I had responded to you just made me happy (though don't worry if you need to take your time either, I don't mind waiting).
I haven't tried the waffle thing yet, but tomorrow will be a perfect day to put it to the test, so I'll keep you updated on that.
Yeah I have a couple friends who love bts, so I kinda had to see what the big deal was and I get it now. Don't think I'll ever be as obsessed over them as I am with other things, but I do enyou listening to them every once in a while and watching videos and stuff with them. I've bookmarked the fic you reccomended for now. Kinda fell down a rabbit hole of Sam and Colby and need to stop obsessing as much over them first. Sorry!
Alright this was the best video I could find that explains the Kas theory. Personally I found the narrators voice a little boring to listen to, but he managed to fit it all in a 8-9 minute long video. Tried to find some articles or something too if you prefer to read instead of watching videos, but most of them really only touched briefly on the subject without really explaining why Eddie could be coming back as 'Kas'. Of course all of this could just be coincidence and mean nothing at all, but... I just don't believe that.
As a former music student I am a bit jealous of you. I've read somewhere that the older you are the harder it gets to learn new languages. So I think the only reason I even can speak two is because I started teaching myself the English language at a very young age by listening to a lot of music, watch movies, read books, etc in English. And I'm nowhere near fluent in it, but at least people understand me most of the time.
And I've been told it's easier to learn a language if you move somewhere where they speak whatever language you wanna learn. Not saying you should do that, but it's just a suggestion 😂
Sweden can be really beautiful and I wouldn't say that I don't like living here. But I don't want to spend my whole life here. Especially not after the latest election we had (but let's not get into politics right now, please). If you want to know about the swedish culture I found a great article in English I could give you the link to. Cause a lot of it is things that's not really a part of my life for various reasons and that I didn't even consider could be counted as Swedish culture until I read it. But honestly what more do you need to know about Sweden except that we have IKEA? 😝
Did you like the movies? It's okay if you didn't, cause I personally rarely like the movies my fellow swedes create.
If you really wanna learn a language though the only things I can reccomend is the two things I wrote about a little earlier. But I get what you mean about there not being enough time.
Maybe everyone means something different when they call someone an old spirit. Either way I've never liked it.
I honestly don't know what I'd done if I had lost them after that night. Cause while I have some other friends (or maybe the others are more like acquaintances again at this point) the 3 of them are really the only ones I hang out with these days. And it's not like I drink that often, maybe like once every two months on avarage, but I'm just completely done with it for a while.
That's a beautiful way to think about it.
I've... always struggled with body image issues so it's very, very rare that I think about it in a poetic way. Especially after the past couple years when I've been struggling with bad mental health in general. Can't really say I think about my spirit in a poetic way either. Do you? About your own body and spirit, I mean?
I've created a playlist for this person, yes. Only a couple songs on there this far, but I'm sure it will grow longer over time. And I did buy some new notebooks this summer that I haven't used yet. But I have plans for one of them to be things I want to say to people (but can't for various reasons) so I guess it's not impossible I'll write some things about that person in that.
Like I think I've said before, I'm not gonna force or pressure you into revealing who you are <3
I've never really considered before that religion and spirituality can kinda co-exist like that, sounds logical now that I hear it though. Is there any particular religion you take from or?
I believe in the universe which I recently found out is considered pantheism, though it doesn't feel right to me to describe myself or my beliefs with that word.
Sorry you weren't having a good day, sending you all my love and hugs and hope things are better now <3
I definitely know what you mean by wanting to isolate and not in a good way. Sometimes I just let myself do it and other times I purposely seek out friends or just go on a walk or something. Doesn't always help, but at least then I can say I tried to not give in to those thoughts and feelings.
Had to google the sugar glider and I literally look like this 🥺 emoji right now <3
Whenever people send me things to watch/listen to/etc I always try do to it (I'm only human so I definitely forget sometimes) but music means so much to me personally that I always listen to reccomendations asap, especially when I know the song means something to the person who told me to listen to it.
The weekend was surprisingly good. Definitely won't be friends with that coworker anytime soon (or ever), but I feel like he won't be much of a problem at work anymore.
Hope your weekend was good too <3
Just cause I'm exless doesn't mean I've never been in love. But I understand what you mean and I'm glad your heart has healed.
Once again, sorry it took so long for me to respond and hope you'll have a nice week!
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well to share one of my ideas-
Amity Park was always strange, even before the portal/hole in literal reality. I think of it as that one place in fabric that's just a bit /too/ thin. I mean there's a bunch of places but that one in particular? It's just too easy to rip into and mold.
if you get what I mean?
and ah, the wiki- an enemy and ally at the same time lol
I mean, there has to be some reason that the Fentons settled down in some town in almost buttfuck nowhere instead of like, a city center where they know a lot of people are dying and potentially becoming ghosts. So I guess you could say...
Danny Fenton has always lived in a strange space, and not just because he was born in the Fentons' ridiculously huge ans strange building. No, Amity Park's always been weird. They boasted of being America's most haunted town long before the Fentons ever set up shop there.
Danny knows that things like black holes causes the space around them to distort, to stretch and thin because of the extremely high gravity. It's only after his accident in the portal that he starts thinking of Amity Park as his own personal black hole. Not just because it seemed to draw in ghosts and ghostly problems like nobody's business, but because the space there was... weird. Like he said, Amity Park has always been weird. It's like one of his old, worn thin NASA shirts that had been through the wash one too many times because of getting slimed by ectoplasm from one of his parents' experiments. If he poked it when it was pulled taught, the fibers under his finger would thin.
(Danny's poked holes in the oldest of his shirts on accident before. He still wears those around the house. They're soft and remind him of home.)
Even when the shirt was draped naturally around his skinny frame, it would fall a little... differently than a fresh new shirt right off the rack from the mall. The fabric was fragile in some spots and draped strangely in others from where it was so stretched out, creating deep folds and creases. They would break more easily than a new shirt, too. if he moved just a bit too fast around the sharp corners of metal in the basement lab, it would catch and rip easily.
Amity Park, as Danny was figuring out after two years of this, was pretty much the same. He would explore, sometimes, on slow nights where no ghosts were trying to come in and beat him to a pulp. His favorite spot was around the corner from the deli on top of the abandoned building that used to house an insurance company. The fabric of space bent just right that it was like sitting in a planetarium, staring up at the domed ceiling. The stars seemed closer when he was sitting-- or floating-- up there. Almost like space itself was coming down to wrap around him like an old, comfortable blanket.
And then his Tucker-improved Fenton Finder beeps, alerting him of a new ectosignature in the town.
Time to get back to work.
#sometimes i see something and my brain just goes ah. yes. time to write.#i think i finally figured out readmores#it also helps that im on desktop this time#danny phantom#danny phantom fic#master of space au#goose honks#asks
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After all, I am just a Mortal
summery: you try to end your relationship with Malleus, being well aware of you mortality. but little did you know that a dragon's love is far stronger than your anticipated.
warnings: angst, talk of death
genre: angst, fluff
A/n: credit for the idea goes to @halseyhatter. Permission to use this was granted by them, if anyone has queries regarding this PM me!
[Pt: 1] - you are here
[Pt: 2]- here
[Pt:3]- coming soon
I...I think we should end this." your voice wavered, you were feeling hesitant about your decision. Its not like you wanted to do this, but it would probably be better for the both parties.
"End what, love?" Malleus was alarmed, he really hoped this isn't going where he thinks it is. They are his world. His child of man.
Both you and Malleus were on one of your weekly dates. It was sunday, sun was bright, there was large spread of food on the blanket and your were laying on soft green grass. It was a perfect picnic date. It wasn't supposed to go like this.
"You and me, I am talking about us. We can't keep doing this, Malleus." your voice was slightly more firm than before but you couldn't help the line of unshead tears that appeared in your eyes whenever you think about your future together, because you probably will have none.
the weather suddenly changed and you think you might have heard lightning somewhere close.
"but why?" Malleus's was upset, your change from Tsunotaro to his name didn't go unnoticed to him. Had he done something wrong? do they not feel loved enough? were...were they scared of him now? that was his greatest fear, he didn't want them to be scared of him. Not them, anyone but them.
The weather was getting bad to worse. You could feel the black clouds gathering above you, in a previously sunny day.
" I-I wont be with you in few decades," You started, your heart was beating loudly, your heart telling you to not to go on. But in the race of your brain and heart, this time, your brain won.
"You'll move on, you'll forget me, I don't want you to forget me. You'll have someone else, you'll be happy with them, then what about me? I'll grow old, I'll have have wrinkle, I'll have white hair, will you still love me? You'll live on forever, tsunotaro, I wont. After all I am just a mortal." You couldn't keep your tears at bay, letting them stream down your face. You feel your heart ripping at the hurt look on his face. You never want to hurt him, but you had to think about yourself too.
You love malleus, You do, but you can't keep doing this to yourself. You can't see him with someone else. Can anyone blame you for being a little selfish?
"My love, please don't cry, I hate to see you cry," Malleus whispered leaning close to you, wiping the tears on your cheeks with his thumb. "I promise you we will figure out a way, just....just don't leave me, please." that was the first time you had heard a crack in his usually velvety smooth voice. Malleus had similar red lined eyes as you, as he tried to keep his tears at bay.
He can't lose his child of man, he won't lose his child of man. He refuses to let that happen. They were his first friend and now they are his lover. They are the most important person in his life and he refuses to let them go like this.
What's the point of being this powerful when he can't even keep the one he loves close to him.
Suddenly, his eyes lit up, as if remembering something.
"I-I might have read something about that...ah yes. child of man, I might have an answer to our problems."
You looked curiously, Malleus face contorted into that of thinking hard.
Because if there was a solution, you were willing to give it a try. You were aware that there was only one, but you decided to stay here for Malleus and if you weren't there with him forever then what was the point of choosing to stay here, choosing him.
"I have to write to my grandmother, give me sometime, my child of man," he rested on of his hand on your waist, pulling you close to him. "I promise I won't let this, or anything, break us. I love you and I am going to find the solution. Then you and me, we won't have to part." Malleus muttered, his eyes hooded. He caressed your cheek lovingly, leaving a soft peck there.
" I love you too. Also that does sounds sounds nice." You nodded, gazing into his glowing green eyes.
He gave you one last kiss on forehead before bursting into familiar green firflies you've come to adore so much.
You really hoped that he wouldn't do something reckless. You want to be with him of course, but you wanted him to be safe too.
You returned to your dorm, tired- emotionally and physically.
You found grim sleeping peacefully on the couch with bunch of empty tuna cans around him. You smiled at the scene before you. Who knew Grim can look so cute when isn't ordering you around. Grim was your best friend, he had been there with you and for you since day one. He and Malleus got along great, actually, since the feline-monster isn't scared of him as well.
Days flew by, you and Malleus didn't talk at all for those seemingly long days. Only when you were starting to worry, a letter came you with a valley of thorns seal and a familiar handwriting of your lover. It said to go to the Diasomnia dorm in thirty minutes.
You sighed in relief, he maybe one of the top five magicians in this word but even he isn't invincible. Nonetheless, you were glad that be was safe.
You walked to the mirror room, leaving Grim in the dorm.
You stepped into the Diasomnia dorm to see Malleus, Lilia, Sebek and Silver waiting for you. Usually, either Silver, Sebek or someone other from his dorm would escort you to his room, even when you turn up unannounced, but everyone was present this time.
Everyone from Malleus' dorm knew you and were pretty sweet towards you, with you being their dorm leader's lover.
Unsurpisingly, they were all knight in the shining armour types, having grown up in the Valley of Thorns, which takes you back to the medival era.
Malleus extended his hand to you and smiled.
"Welcome, my treasure." You took his hand in yours, caressing back of it gently with your thumb and he shot you a small smirk in return. You gave a small wave to silver, sebek and lilia, the latter waved back cheerfully while the other two nodded in acknowledgement.
Malleus thinks that you didn't see the thin sheet of sweat covering his forehead or the blatant nervous look in his eyes.
Okay, you'll admit that it won't be noticeable to a stranger, but you weren't one. He was nervous. And him being nervous made you nervous.
"Thank you, Malleus. I think we should talk first." You muttered. You just wanted for him get whatever that was eating him away, out the way first .
"Indeed, follow me, my child of man." Malleus you his arm which you gladly took and lead you to his dorm room. He opened the door for you and closed it behind him when he entered.
You took a look at the form you had spent much time in, you loved his room because it was so him. You took a seat on his highly comfortable bed, patting the empty space next to, an indication for him to join in.
"First, tell me are you okay? I didn't hear from you for days." that was the first thing you asked him.
"Of course, love. Many rumors may be absurd but they surely do my strength justice ." he let you an amused chuckle, which quickly turned into a sad smile
"Y/n, I....looked for a solution and I found it but I fear you are not ready," Malleus whispered sitting next to you on his bed and took both of your hands in his. When he said your name, you knew that something was wrong.
"Tell me, I am ready, Malleus. If I wasn't I wouldn't have stayed." You said in equally low voice, with a soft smile, cupping his cheek in your palm. Closinng his eyes, Malleus, leaned in to your touch. Taking in a deep breath he continued.
"Thought you would say that," he gave you a slight smirk. Malleus took the your hand which rested on his cheek and held it tightly in his.
"I talked to my Grandmother, you've met her before, yes?" How could you ever forget that day. It was most nerve wreaking day for you, meeting queen of The Valley of Thorns, The famed Witch of Thorns, but most importantly Malleus' grandmother, Maleficent.
She was not as scary as stories say her to be, quite nice actually. But she had this wall of thorns around her heart that distances her from the rest of the world.
She had talked to you for about two hours, which was a lot considering her very busy schedule, but she really does loves her grandson and only wants best for him. When she had approved of you, both you and Malleus were overjoyed and you had let out a sigh of relief.
You never told Malleus that she threatened you a little to not to break her grandson's heart.
But you would never, you'll have him for as long as he'll have you. You loved him more than words could ever express. Word 'Boyfriend' seems so casual to you, not feeling fit for the relationship the two of you have.
Fae nobility had tried to oppose Malleus' relationship with you but he had already ressured you Maleficent has already taken care of them.
You didn't know what she had done and you are pretty sure that you don't want to.
"Yes, I have, of course." You replied nodding your head, smiling. You liked Maleficent, she had been very supportive of two of you. Lilia says that she's your biggest shipper. You had to laugh at absurd but maybe true accusation.
"So I talked to her and she came up with this. Grandmother says that there is this spell that can enchant food, fae food specifically. The spell is powerful, powerful enough that even I cannot do it, but Grandmother says she might be able to do it." Malleus explained, threading your fingers together. Patient waiting for your answer.
He doesn't have to explain further, you know what the spell does. After all, there is only one solution to your problems
"I'll do it."
#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#malleus x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#lilia#lilia vanrouge#silver#sebek zigvolt#sebek#maleficent#diasomnia#faerie#fae#self insert#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#valley of thorns#x reader
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Pretending [Part 1 of 3]
PAIRING : VIL SCHOENHEIT X FEM!READER
GENRE : ANGST TO FLUFF
C/W : NONE!
LIBRARIAN’S NOTE/S : italicized words in the story means flashback of the past! right, my first twst fanfic. an idea that just wouldn’t leave my mind. special thanks to @/nanamisflowerfield who helped me proofread dis since Im not that confident with portraying Vil. part 2 can be found here. part 3 can be found here
NOTES & REBLOGS ARE ALWAYS VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ^^
“We need to break up.” You blurted out. Vil who was drinking his smoothie—almost choked on it. “Now what has gotten into that pretty brain of yours?” He asked while walking over to you. “Ah—Uhm—no sorry, I worded that wrong. We need to take a break.” You answered, he raised an eyebrow, signaling you to continue. “The past few days have not been so good. We would always argue over the pettiest things. If I was in a good mood, you’d be in a bad one and vice versa. Look, I’m not saying we break up-break up but just take a break from this relationship because it is not working out at the moment.” You explained, “So you want to run away from our problems?” He sternly asked. “What? No! We are just gonna take a break and fix whatever problems we have in our own lives before addressing the problems in our relationship.” You said. “This is what I mean, look. We are arguing right now, and I am saying, we take a break before we do more harm than good into this relationship.” You added. The latter just sighed and said, “Fine, I get your point. See you next week then.” You gave him a nod and gave him one last peck before leaving because you knew, it was a lie.
True enough, the past week has been heavy for both of you and being in a long-distance relationship of seeing each other only once a week didn’t help that much. He attended NRC while you had to attend a different school, though you could call each other after classes. It wasn’t often since if he was free, you’d be swarmed with school work. Then if you were free, he’d have a modeling gig or be too busy. On the rare occasions that you could call each other, it would be very sweet conversations, giving each other words of encouragement or exchanging opinions and advice. Sometimes it would be rants about each other’s day or just about anything. I just can’t say the same for the past week since it’s been filled with so many petty arguments.
The following day, here you are sealing a letter, addressed to Vil. You decided to call Rook last night and asked him to meet up because you have a favor to ask from him. To avoid prying public eyes, you both agreed to meet at the abandoned mines. Seeing Vil again next week in a better mood to set the relationship straight was a lie because he was right, you were a coward. You were too scared, to say the truth and face him. So you opted to write him a letter and send it during the week, you won’t be seeing each other. It was hitting two birds with one stone, you get to tell him the truth and not face him while doing so. The letter goes…
Dear Vil,
May this letter find you well. You’re probably wondering why I am writing this letter to you. Well, it’s just like you said, I’m a Coward. A dumb and foolish Coward, who is running away from her problems. All this time, I’ve been lying to you about something important. You’re probably thinking about what it could be, well just know it’s not about me cheating on you, okay? You can stop overthinking now. Getting back on track, what I'm trying to say is that I am tired of pretending. Tired of pretending to be your “ideally perfect” girlfriend, I’ve been living two lives actually, the perfect one that dates you and the real me. What I mean is that, yes you’ve seen what the real me is but those were the parts that I was confident to show you, but there were some parts of me that I couldn’t bring to tell you. Like how I game more than you actually know, in fact, I join my friends even while they stream it online, (his handle name is @h/n if you’re skeptical about it) or how I’m louder than what you see from me. I thought I could be able to change myself just to be with you. I could keep it up during the first two years of our relationship, I was fine, but then came our third and fourth. I missed being the old me so I decided to have two lives. It was easier to keep it from you because of our LDR but soon enough guilt ate me. You must be mad at me right now, thinking how much of a Coward I am right now. Gosh, I feel so pathetic and disgusted at myself so I understand if you don’t want to talk to me ever again, it’s okay. Just know that all the love and affection I’ve showered were genuine, but if I really did love, I would’ve told this to you right? Everyone has their own reasons and I don’t think this is something you want to know. Well, that’s all, feel free to incinerate this afterward, I won’t take any offense.
Yours Truly,
Y/n L/n
Arriving at the agreed time and place, he greets you with his signature smile. “Now to what do I owe the pleasure of delivering a favor for Reine du poison?" He inquires, "Well, your Reine du poison needs to ask her King's huntsman to deliver him a letter." You answered, playing along with his antics. "Oho?", "Come on Rook, I know you have an idea of what's going on, so can you please do me a favor and give it to him?" You plead, handing out the letter. "As you wish." He said before taking the letter and giving you a bow. "Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me." You said before taking your leave. Unbeknownst to you, a certain dorm leader was watching.
Back with Vil, who saw the whole exchange between you and Rook happen. "What is she up to now?" He pondered and waited for the hunter to come back and inquire about the exchange. “Where did you get that letter from, Rook?” Vil asked at the hunter’s arrival. “Oh? You mean this?” Rook said. “Yes, so enough with your games.” He answered, “My my, don’t crease your brows too much. You’ll get wrinkles.” Rook replied while Vil could only sigh.
“Right, this is a letter from Reine du Poison, for you.” Rook added. Vil could only raise his eyebrow as he accepts the letter. Examining the letter carefully, he decides to read the letter some other time. “Yes, I understand you’re trying to keep your emotions in check, but don’t put it off for long—lest you want it to be too late and lose her.” The huntsman advised before walking off to elsewhere.
Two days have passed and it’d be a lie if Vil said that he wasn’t worried about you and curious about the letter you addressed to him. Truth be told, he has been checking your online profile from time to time, he would check it every hour but you didn’t show any signs of activity. It was messing with him and it didn’t help that Rook’s last words kept replaying in his mind, on repeat. He couldn’t take it anymore, he decided to finally read the letter after classes so any other plans for whatever purposes, he skipped, he couldn’t put it off any longer.
School was finally done for the day and he didn’t waste any time mind, other people. He walked straight to the Magic Mirror of Pomefiore. He was like a walking plague because of the serious aura he was giving off, so everyone steered clear of his way, unless they wanted to suffer from severe consequences then it was best to stay out of his way. Reading through your letter, his expression kept changing, feeling a lot of mixed emotions at the same time. Many thoughts were running out and about in his mind, but one thing was for sure, he was upset and mad. Did you not trust him enough to say all of this in front of him? Did you really think he was that shallow? Why wasn’t he sharp enough to notice? Most importantly, who gave you the right to assume what he would’ve done—that was his decision to make, not yours. He wanted answers, may his beauty sleep be damned if it meant getting answers.
He opened his phone and searched up the streaming handle you left in the letter. Clicking the first link he saw, he was brought to the streaming site of your friend’s profile, but of course, he had to sign up before watching. It took him 10 minutes just to pick a username. Annoyed, he opted for the pre-given usernames rather than spending another painful 10 minutes thinking. Scrolling through, it was as if she set it up because there he saw the most-viewed stream, titled, “QnA with the Gang”. Without a moment of hesitation, he clicked it.
A sound of somebody joining the call was heard in the stream, “Oh? Y/n! We just finished announcing that you couldn’t join us, you’re making us look like liars now.” Your friend, hosting the stream, Mason, teasingly said. “Pfft! Ahahahaha! Don’t worry guys, they weren’t lying but I had a change of plan with boyfie.” You answered, “Yikes, it’s Valentine's day and your date bailed on you.” Liam chided. “Hey! You’re making him sound like a bad boyfriend, but he didn’t bail on me. He had an emergency, he even gave me a handmade gift. He was supposed to give it to me on the date itself but he couldn’t.” You retorted, defending Vil. “Ooooh~ What did he give you?” Jace asked, “Secret~~ Not telling you guys.” You replied.
“You know Y/n, I noticed your boyfriend has been bailing out on you too much, lately. You sure, he is not cheating on you?” Liam asked. “Or what if he thinks your cheating on him with one of us that’s why he keeps canceling dates with you like he can’t face you?” Mason added. You sighed and answered “Look, your attempts of trying to make me feel scared or doubtful are not working. You guys know my boyfriend, we’ve been dating since 3rd-year high school and he knows you three. So obviously he wouldn’t feel insecure to you guys.” Everyone in the stream went wild typing “OOOOHHHH!!” “The burnnn!!” “Ouchhhhh!” You and Jace were laughing so hard, “Alright enough about my relationship, let’s get on with the questions you guys gathered.” You told them. Then he remembered the events that happened on the same night
“I'm so sorry, you were looking forward to this the whole week *sigh* but the potatoes in my agency did not inform me about this. I promise I’ll make it up to you, okay?” He told you, “It’s alright, besides, I know you did all the planning so you definitely wouldn’t have wanted it to go to waste.” You answered, “Right, I was supposed to give this to you later on, but I suppose now is the right time.” He said giving out a nice paper bag. Peeking inside, you see cosmetics and skincare products, “You didn’t have to, you know I’m not a fan of make-up.” To which he answered, “Nonesense, potato, I specifically made this just for you.”
He also remembered what happened when he arrived at the said studio. No one told him about a joint interview with another female star, let me tell you—the interview didn’t go so well.
“So Vil, since you’re here and it’s Valentine's day, does that mean Ms. Skylar here is your date? The said actress could only blush while Vil has had enough. “I’m very sorry, but no, she isn’t. In fact, I bailed on the date I had with my girlfriend because I was informed that this was an important interview. Had I known that it would be insinuating a new love team for the media, then I would’ve declined.” Things got intense and Vil wanted nothing more than to leave and salvage whatever little left time he had for you, but the show producers pleaded and did a compromise to change the script. So in the end the interview was halved, a one on one with Vil and the second half for Skylar.
He watched through it all and all the questions they asked Y/n, he knew the answer to all of them. From your favorite food—to your favorite clothing brand and even your favorite character. What shocked him, however, was learning about your favorite influencer, it was him, and judging by the viewers' reactions—they weren't aware of your relationship with him. Many questions were asked, but a certain question did make the crowd go wild, some of them saying "Finally! Someone asked it." "Ah yes, the question to answer all the mysteries for the new viewers." The question goes, “I am a new fan, but what made the four of you stream? Does Y/n’s boyfriend know of this? How does he feel about it?” The guys were laughing at you, they already knew about the whole ordeal.
“Since Y/n was mentioned, why don’t we make her answer the whole thing then?” Jace suggested, “Is my love life THAT interesting? Alright then, for starters, we’ve been friends since middle school. So that should be pretty self-explanatory, but the four of us didn’t start it—just tagged along with Mason who wanted to stream for fun. As for my boyfriend, he knows them, because we all attended the same high school. So he is pretty much aware that these guys are my friend, and he is chill with them. Just don’t give him any reason to be annoyed with them.” You answered, “What hey! What do you mean by these guys?!” Jace chided. “Okay, damn,” Mason said. Not a single viewer noticed you dodging that bullet—except Vil. He knew the answer to this because HE IS the boyfriend. You technically didn't lie because you said that he knows them, not that he knew about the streams.
The QnA stream has finally ended and it was as if—no, you probably knew that he was gonna get mad and he would’ve doubted the genuineness you said in the letter and so you gave him Mason’s streaming handle. Going back to his profile, he sees a stream starting in five minutes…
To Be Continued in Part Two….
!! DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE ELSE !! THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF YUUNEMI !! IT DOESN’T CLAIM TO OWN THE CHARACTERS THAT BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS !!
#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#twst vil x reader#disney twst#twst vil#pomefiore x reader#twst pomefiore#vil x reader#twst fluff#twst angst#twst fanfic#twst x you#x reader#reader inserts
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