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#sometimes it makes me wish i had a cane
Heart to Heart
On a rainy afternoon, Little one and Elda happen to take shelter under an open shade on a bench in a public garden. Little one sat there, with a bandaged right knee and a feeling of sorrow. Elda walks up to the bench limping, with a cane in his right hand and an umbrella in his left and he sat beside Little one.
Elda: Good day, Little one. Little one: (dull voice) Hi Elda. Elda: Why so melancholic? Little one: .... just. Elda: Come on, you know as well as I, that we can talk about anything at all Little one: I do but... Elda: But when you tried to tell others, they seemed too busy to listen? Little one: How did you...? (sighing) yes. Elda: Whenever you are ready. I'm all ears. Little one: I wanted to enjoy myself today. I wanted to run around, play with my friends, go for a movie maybe, with mama, papa and Mercedes, just do something fun. (pausing) But like you can see... (Little boy looking down) papa has an important meeting, mom has a lot of school work and Mercedes has her exams tomorrow. And all my friends, have other plans for today. Elda: Ah I see. But won't they be free later today or maybe by tomorrow? Little one: Yeah, they will. Elda: Then why not entertain yourself in the mean time? Enjoy the rain, take a walk or just listen to some music maybe. I know you really appreciate these things. Little one: (a little agitated) That's what I always do. Give them their time, entertain myself.(hesitantly) I just wish, maybe once in a while, they put their work on hold for just a little bit, and we all do something crazy together, you know? Elda: I know Little one. Little one: And besides, last time I was outside by myself, I fell pretty bad. (pointing at the bandage) I got up and went home alone. I told everyone I was fine, but it was hurting. I mean, I didn't lie to them, but it was tough walking back by myself, there was quite a bit of blood too. (looked down, with swelled up eyes) Elda: I see.. Tell me Little one, what happened today morning? Little one: Well, I took a shower early morning and walked in the living room where mom, dad and Mercedes were sitting. As I walked in I saw papa was on the couch on a business call, mama sitting at the dining table writing her school reports and getting frustrated as the other teachers made many mistakes and she had to correct them all and Mercedes sat across mama with her books open. Elda: And then, how long did they say till they were ready to go? Little one: They didn't. I didn't ask. Elda: Huh? Little one: I didn't wanna bother them. They were busy, so I left and came here. Elda: Oh Little one. I know you mean well, but if you don't ask how will they know? Little one: (silent) Elda: I heard you Little one, I understood what you felt like and my love and attachment to you is as much as your parents. Maybe sometimes, you need to ask. Like they said in your favorite movie, "Help will always be given, to those who ask for it." Maybe it's time you ask, eh? Little one: (silent, still nervous and unsure) Elda: You don't have to ask alone, you know. Let's go together and ask what say Little one? Little one: (looked at Elda hopefully) Pinky promise? Elda: (with a bright and pleasant smile) Pinky promise. Besides, something, or maybe someone is coming your way. Very soon some you will never feel by yourself ever again. Little one: How are you so sure Elda? Elda: You know exactly how Little one. Little one: (thoughtful, suddenly excited) Hey Elda! Aren't you going to Europe this month? Elda: (caught off guard, nervously) Yeah.. Little one: Aren't you excited?(brightly) You're going to Europe! It's such a beautiful place! I wanna go too! Do you need help in packing Elda? I'll be great help and I'll keep you entertained too! Elda: (looking up at the clouds) I'm sorry Little one, but no. Little one: (shocked) But why? Elda: (looking back at Little one) Because I don't think I want to go. Little one: Oh.. I'm sorry, I didn't know. Elda: No one does Little one: But Elda, you were so excited to go! Why so suddenly, you decided otherwise? Elda: Because Little one, (solemnly) I have too many responsibilities here, with work, with family. They expect a lot from me and I can't let them down. Plus, I don't know what's out there. Its stressful here, yes, but there is security where I am. Plus my knee (places his hand on his right knee), What if I go there and things don't work out. Little one: Hmmm.. Elda: That's why, maybe it isn't for me. Little one:(hesitantly) Elda, can I say something? But first promise you won't get upset. Elda: I'm listening. Little one: First promise.. Elda: (dismissively) Promise. Little one: Elda, before you got to where you are today, with work and family, before things started to work in your favor, weren't you living in uncertain times? Elda: How did you.. (pausing) yes Little one: What makes your think you can't do that again? You are much smarter and wiser since then, and more equipped too. Also, you have worked so long and so hard for this, will you tap out just because its tough and uncertain? Elda:(looking down, silently pondering) Little one: And Elda.. Elda: (looking at Little one) Yes Little one.. Little one: I know you're scared, like you were before you sat on the Worlds Fastest Rollercoaster! Elda: (chucking) Oh yes I was. Little one: But after the first time, you went back for another round more than anyone else! 7 times more? Elda: (proudly) 7 times more. (both sat silently for 5 minutes, looking down, both deep in thought. both realized how much they needed each other, but neither could say what they both understood) Little one: (looking at Elda) Elda? Elda: (looking at Little one) Yes Little one. Little one: Can I ask for something? Elda: Anything. Little one: Please don't ever leave my side. Elda: (proudly) That's my boy. (they hug, emotional, ecstatic, grateful for the others company) Elda: (while hugging) You might want to go prepare yourself. Little one: (confused, looking at Elda) What for? Elda: (meeting little ones gaze) for Europe.
-Revelations of a bizarre mind
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horrorkingdom · 23 days ago
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Speed Dating
Speed Dating is a scary story about a man who wants to find true love, but can’t find a woman that lives up to his expectations.
At the age of 30, I was still single. My mother kept asking me when I was going to find myself a nice girl and settle down. I assured her it was only a matter of time, but I knew that was a lie. I hadn’t been out on a date in over six months. All of my friends were already married and some of them even had kids. I was beginning to feel left out.
That’s why I decided to try speed dating.
The event was being held at a fashionable bar in the city center. I dressed in my best shirt and pants, splashed some aftershave on my neck and left the house. When I reached the bar, I walked in, trying to project an air of confidence. I was shocked when I saw how many other people had shown up. I counted 21 men and 21 women in total.
The host explained the rules of speed dating. The women all sat around at separate tables, while the men moved from table to table, spending three minutes talking to each woman. When the buzzer sounded, it meant your three minutes were up and it was time to move on.
When everyone was ready, the buzzer sounded and the speed dating began.
The first girl I sat down with was 21, much too young for me. The second was forty-something, much too old. The third woman was really ugly and I caught a very bad smell from the fourth. The fifth woman seemed nice, until she mentioned that she was divorced and had five children already. The sixth happened to let slip that she had a history of drug addiction and the seventh had a weird-shaped head. I began to give up hope of ever finding a perfect match.
The eighth lady was very fat and sweat was rolling down her face. The ninth had false teeth that fell out when she started to talk and the tenth was much too skinny. The eleventh woman couldn’t speak English. The twelfth had a squished nose that made her look like a pig. The thirteenth kept farting throughout our time together and the fourteenth just stared at me and never said a word. I noticed, when she stood up, that she only had one leg and walked with a cane. I was glad when the buzzer sounded and I was able to move along.
The fifteenth woman had a terrible rash all over her body. I made the sixteenth lady laugh so hard that she threw up all over the table. The seventeenth seemed alright, except for the fact that she kept picking her nose and eating it. The eighteenth seemed attractive, but she had a deformed hand. The nineteenth was in a wheelchair. When I got to the twentieth woman, I threw up my hands in disbelief. She obviously had too much to drink and was curled up in a ball on her seat, snoring loudly.
Just as I was contemplating skipping out early and going home, I sat down opposite the final lady. She was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She had long, flowing dark hair, bright, green eyes and a cute little smile. She was dressed completely in black – black dress, black shoes, black everything – but she had a very bubbly personality. Everything I said made her giggle.
Her name was Karen and she was 28 years old. She said she had qualified as a nurse, but she was currently unemployed. She had been married with two children, but after her kids died of cancer, her husband had abandoned her. I immediately felt sorry for Karen and praised her for keeping such an upbeat attitude despite all the tragedy in her life.
At the end of the night, we stayed chatting together and we got on like a house on fire. When it was time to go, I asked her for her number and we arranged to go out on a date the next evening. I couldn’t believe it. I had actually scored with a beautiful woman.
Things went very well and we began dating regularly. As the weeks and months passed, our relationship moved pretty quickly. It seemed as if we were truly matched for each other. After about seven months together, I decided to pop the question and asked her to marry me. Of course, she said, “Yes.”
After the wedding, I moved out of my small apartment and began moving my belongings into her home. I had a lot of boxes filled with old books and I asked if I could store them in her basement.
“Relax,” she said with a laugh, “I’ll bring them down there while you’re at work tomorrow.”
The next few months were great. We never got tired of each other’s company and I thought I had found true love. Unfortunately, something happened that shattered our blissful idyll and changed my life forever.
One Sunday, I was sitting in front of the TV, reading the newspaper. Karen told me she needed to go to the grocery store and pick up something for dinner. She kissed me on the cheek and, just as she was about to walk out the front door, I told her there was a book I needed to get from the basement.
“Oh, the door is locked,” she said. “Wait until I get back. I’ll go down there and get it for you.”
After she left, I became curious. All the time I had been living with her, she never allowed me to go down into the basement. She always came up with some excuse or other. I decided to explore while she was away. The basement door was locked, but after rummaging around, I managed to find the key, hidden at the back of a kitchen drawer.
As soon as I opened the basement door, I smelled a terrible, rancid stench. The entire basement looked as if it hadn’t been used in years. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. The concrete walls were crumbling and the wooden stairs were damp and rotten. When I reached the bottom of the steps, the smell was putrid.
In the corner, I noticed a box with an old video recorder and some VHS videotapes inside. A strange curiosity overcame me and I grabbed the box and brought it upstairs. After plugging the video recorder in and hooking it up to the TV, I inserted the first videotape and pressed play.
I never should have done that.
The video was extremely shaky and grainy. In the darkness, I could just barely make out the figure of a man tied to a chair. Another figure stood over him, wearing a black mask and dressed from head to toe in shiny black leather. A chill ran down my spine as I realized the figure was holding a large axe. Suddenly, to my horror, it lifted the axe above its head and brought it crashing down, slicing off the man’s hand. He screamed in pain as the figure delivered more and more blows with the axe. I watched in utter terror, unable to tear my eyes away from the screen. Each blow of the axe hacked off another piece of the man’s body until his arms and legs were lying in pieces all around him and he was just a writhing, bloody torso in a chair.
Throughout the carnage, the killer was giggling like a schoolgirl.
With shaking hands, I reached out and stopped the video. Just then, I heard a voice behind me.
“So you stumbled on my dirty little secret,” it said.
I slowly turned. My wife was standing at the door, dressed in a black leather bodysuit. In her hands, she was holding a large axe.
She began to giggle.
I don’t remember what happened after that. The next door neighbors must have heard my terrified screams and called the police. Four officers burst through the front door. They managed to tackle my wife and subdue her before she killed me. Then, they rushed me to hospital.
Of course, there was a big trial afterwards. My wife was found guilty and the judge gave her the death penalty. I was present at the execution. Just before they threw the switch on the electric chair, they asked her if she had any last words.
“It’s his own fault,” she yelled. “He never should have married me!”
Then, she giggled like a little schoolgirl as the executioner pulled the lever and electricity surged through her body. Five minutes later, she was pronounced dead.
Years later, I still have nightmares about her. I’ve been through therapy and the doctors say that, with time, I may be able to overcome the horrific trauma I experienced.
While I was in the hospital, I met a wonderful woman. She was my nurse and, over the weeks and months, we fell in love. She isn’t the most beautiful woman I ever met and she doesn’t have a perfect body. She lost an eye and three of the fingers on her left hand in a car accident. Despite all that, she is certainly the most loving and caring person a man could wish for. Inside, she has a heart of gold.
Last Summer, we got married and moved in together. She has helped me a lot. Whenever I read the newspaper, she turns the pages for me. Whenever I have an itch, she scratches it for me. She managed to restore my trust in women, but sometimes, late at night when I’m lying in bed, I still miss my arms and legs.
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beskaradberoya · a month ago
Unbound - Chapter 6
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This is another spin-off in the Bound Series, this story’s focus being Dean.
Summary: When the city’s most eligible bachelor and incorrigible ladies man Dean Winchester is first introduced to his younger brother’s stepdaughter Eve, he knew he wanted to be the first to pop her cherry. He never expected that it would turn out to be more than that.
Characters: Uncle Dean x OC Eve/ Stepdad Sam x OC Eve/ Step-grandfather John x OC Eve
Words: 3516
Warnings: step-uncle/step-niece relationship, stepdaughter/stepfather relationship, step-grandfather/step-granddaughter relationship, Dom/Sub relationship, 24/7 Dom/Sub, swearing, caning/whipping, subspace, oral sex (male and female receiving), sexting, rough sex, dirty talk, female and male masturbation, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, threesomes, edging, loss of virginity, squirting, sex in public spaces, drinking under 21, death of a parent, death of a sibling, car accident, angst, grief, PTSD, PTSD Flashbacks, Polyandry, foursomes, group sex.
All tags above will be in every chapter, in some form or another, unless otherwise specified.
A/N: Eve’s interview from Dean’s point of view. Want more? For Sam x Eve, there’s Bound To You, and for John x Eve, there’s The Tie That Binds. All stories are interconnected, so I would recommend reading them all.
If you want to be added to my taglists, send me a DM or an Ask. You can either be added per story or choose my SPN Forever Taglist and get tagged whenever I post something new.
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Liking is excellent; feedback and reblogs are appreciated a lot more.
Please don’t copy or edit and post my stories to this or any other site.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
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Chapter 6: Interview
After the crazy night he had with Eve after Comic-con, in the past few months, Eve and him still fucked regularly, though he did often pick up other chicks on the side. Not as much as he used to, but still enough to reset his feelings once he found himself getting a bit too attached to Eve. Dean no longer fucked her without a condom, pulling up that latex barrier between them. Besides that, he reverted to calling her Kitten again, as he did before. It helped with pushing away those pesky feelings Dean had for her. He wasn’t sure it was love, but it wasn’t only lust either.
He parks Baby in his designated parking spot and makes his way to their building, entering the grand hall. As he approaches the elevators, he can see Sam standing there with Eve on his arm, in the clothes and shoes he bought for her. It’s the first time she’s wearing the outfit, and she looks stunning. He guessed her size just right, so it fit her like a glove. He lets them know he’s there by saying:
“Sammy! Long time no see!”
He can see a hint of annoyance in his little brother’s eyes, and that makes him wonder what was on his mind, but then again, Sammy always had something on his mind; it’s his default setting. As he approaches his brother, he pulls him in for a firm hug. After that, he turns his attention to his adorable little fuckbuddy, checking her out and looking at her perky nipples, standing at attention as always.
“Hey Ki-…”
As he’s about to say it, Dean can see the panic in her eyes, and he glances at Sam before he looks back at her, hoping to God he won’t notice his slip of the tongue.
By the way that Sam raises his eyebrow, he knows he’s busted, so he decides to go with it. He glances at Sam again, sticking his tongue between his teeth, with a look that says, Dude, watch this. Dean looks at Eve and asks:
“How’s your head Kiddo?”
He can see in her eyes she will give him exactly the answer he’s looking for, and it’s going to wipe that smirk that Sam is sporting that says Eve is never going to fall for this, right off his face.
“I haven’t had any complaints yet.”
He can see Sam stiffen ever so slightly as she says those words, and behind his signature bitchface, there’s the tiniest bit of lust in his eyes. Dean is pretty sure that if he keeps going, Sam will soon crack and fuck her, which means Dean will finally have more time to fuck other chicks again.
“I bet you haven’t, Kiddo, I bet you haven’t,” Dean says, winking at her.
The ding of the elevator alerts the three of them that it’s time to get on. Sam presses the button to the fifteenth floor, and they wait in silence, listening to the music playing in the elevator. Dean is watching her, and he can see she’s daydreaming, Her face slightly flushed. Sam looks at him and raises his eyebrow at him questioningly. All Dean can do is shrug and pretend he doesn’t know what she’s daydreaming about, but he’s pretty sure that it’s about him because she’s practically drooling. Dean bites his lip, aroused by the thought that she’s horny because of him. When she sighs and moves, he quickly pretends he’s not looking at her, and Sam does the same.
The indicator flashes fifteen, alerting them they have arrived. They get out of the elevator and make their way to the waiting area in front of John’s office, making sure that Phyllis, the receptionist, is aware of their presence so she can notify his father. They barely have time to sit down and chat when the door to John’s office opens, and he calls Eve in, closing the door immediately after them.
He can see his little brother is nervous as hell, pacing around until he walks over to the watercooler in the corner and fills a cup with water, downing it as fast as he can. He knows why Sam is nervous, and he wishes he could tell him that there’s no need to worry, that John is planning on hiring Eve anyway, being that he’s in love with her too. Instead, he says:
“Dude, be like Elsa; let it go.”
Sam chuckles nervously, rolling his eyes, and out of nowhere asks:
“What the hell were you playing at downstairs?”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, man… asking her how her head is, flirting with her.”
Dean shrugs at the accusations Sam’s throwing at him, mainly because he’s done a lot more with her than just flirt. A lot more.
“Well, what do you want me to say? She’s a consenting adult. I’m sure she can make her own decisions and decide if she wants to be flirted with or not.”
Sam snorts. “Was she always, though?”
“Was she always what?”
“A consenting adult.”
Dean remains silent. She may not have been 18 yet, but she was legal, and she consented. Still, it was better to stay quiet. He watches as Sam starts pacing again, probably thinking about when Dean had started fucking his precious Little Bug. He leaves Sam to his obsession and decides to check out some hot chicks on the BARE app, which is basically naked Tinder.
“Nope, Nope, Nope, hell no, uh-uh, too old, nope, no tits, no ass, nope…holy mother of god… look who I found Sammy!”
He can’t quite believe it’s Eve. And he knows one thing for sure; it’s not a photo he took. She’s naked, her hair loose and cascading down her back, wearing a pair of ballet boots. Her back is slightly arched, so her ass is sticking out just a bit, in just the perfect position that if Dean was in the room with her, he could just slide his cock right into her slippery cunt. It’s a very suggestive photo, even if there’s nothing visible. It’s the perfect photo to tease the shit out of Sammy, show him his Little Bug isn’t little anymore.
Dean beams at him and hands him his phone.
“So, this chick’s name is Perkytits69, so what? Coming from a guy calling himself Impala67, you’re hardly one to judge.”
Dean rolls his eyes. For someone who is supposed to be super-smart, he can be so fucking dense sometimes.
“Dude, just look at her.”
He can see Sam’s eyes growing wide and his jaw dropping.
“Is that…?”
“Are those…?”
Dean gets up walks over to Sam, standing next to him to take another look at the profile picture. He reads the quote added to the profile out loud.
“Pound me like a whore; just don’t call me one. I like that.”
Hmm… Kitten, I love pounding you like a whore. Making you come for me so fucking good.
“Really, Dean?”
“What? It’s her words, not mine.”
That’s the thing that annoys him about his little brother, his desire to put Eve on a pedestal. Sam sees her as this innocent, obedient little girl that can’t make decisions for herself, when in fact, she isn’t any of those things. Yes, she is compliant, but only when there’s something in it for her. He can see Sam slowly sees Eve for what she truly is, a very horny young woman. Sam’s practically drooling over her picture, and Dean watches as his little brother takes a screenshot of it, sending it to himself.
“Dude! You’re going to jerk off to it or something?”
“Evidence,” that is the only thing he says.
This is precisely why he didn’t tell Sam out loud that he’s been banging his girl. There’s nothing he or Joyce can do, but if they want to make his life miserable, they can, and he likes banging Eve way too much for anyone to come in between them, in a non-sexual way, that is.
They’re still admiring the woman when the door to the office opens and Eve comes out of it, followed by John. Dean quickly snatches his phone back from Sam’s hand and, before putting it back in his pocket, swipes right, knowing full well she’ll get the notification.
John looks at Dean and then at Eve, and Dean nods, licking his lips in anticipation of what’s to come. Because his dad just signaled him that he wants him to fuck her. Dean looks at her, seeing she’s horny as fuck. He has no idea what John did to her, but she is a hot mess that needs to get fucked sooner rather than later.
“Please take a seat, Darlin’; I have some business to discuss with my boys; I promise it won’t take long.”
She nods politely.
“Samuel, if you would be so kind as to follow me?”
Sam nods and follows John into his office, the door closing again. Dean extends his hand to Eve for her to hold on to because he can see she’s tipsy and wobbly on her feet.
“Cm’ere Kitten.”
He taps his knees, letting her know that he wants her to sit on him. She giggles and drops herself on his lap rather clumsily, almost falling off. Luckily for her, Dean’s there to catch her. He’ll always catch her.
“I think my naughty little Kitten is a bit tipsy.”
“I am not,” she thinks for a second. “Okay, maybe a little.”
She rests her head on his shoulder with a little sigh, and his heart skips a beat. He loves that he’s so comfortable with him. He watches as she reaches for her phone, checking her notifications. Dean can see precisely what she’s doing, and she doesn’t even realize it. Eve opens the app, presses the link to go to his profile, and gasps when she sees his photo.
Surprise Kitten.
He moves his hand up her side and gently cups her tit, groaning softly as he nuzzles her ear, gently nibbling on her earlobe.
“Hmm... you’re right, your tits are perky, Kitten. And I could sixty-nine you all fucking day.”
Bouncy, perky tits that jiggle so deliciously every time he thrusts into her. She tilts her head up and lightly flicks her tongue over his lips, causing him to inhale sharply, his cock already stirring in his pants.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called you, been busy. I know how much you need to fuck. How about we get rid of some of that sexual tension?”
Her current state is his fault too. He should’ve taken care of her earlier, but he was too busy fucking other chicks to make time for her. And yeah, while he was doing that, Eve and Anna had been banging regularly as well, but it didn’t satisfy her enough, judging by how bad she wants to fuck now.
“Yes… please, Dean… I need to feel you inside of me…I need to come.”
He gently pushes her off his lap, helping her stand up straight. He picks her up because it’s faster to carry her than to let her walk herself in those torture devices she’s wearing on her feet. He opens the door to the ladies’ room with his elbow, and once the door closes, he sets her down. He checks all the stalls to make sure no one is there, and then grabbing her by the waist, he pulls her into the nearest one, kissing her hungrily. While Eve is fidgeting with his belt and buttons and pulls down his pants and boxers, he tips down the toilet seat cover and sits on it, keeping his legs together so she can straddle him. He tries to pull up her skirt, but it’s too tight and won’t go up.
“Damn it, Kitten, it’s like a chastity belt made of fabric…”
She mewls in frustration, and he watches her kick off her shoes and then helps her wriggle out of her skirt. He can’t help but groan when he sees she’s not wearing any panties. He loves that about her. Too bad she had to wear such a tight garment. Not wearing underwear makes no sense if you can’t even get out of a goddamn skirt.
“Nice. Wait a second, got to wrap it before I tap it, Kitten.”
She giggles and rolls her eyes at him playfully, turning her back on him, slipping her digits between her legs, her back arched so he can see her fucking herself with them. Moaning softly and grinding her pussy against her fingers.
“Holy shit, Kitten, you’re really horny, aren’t you?”
“Come here then, Kitten, and let me help you.”
She turns around and faces him, and he tries to pull her onto his lap, but she shakes her head.
“Not like that, Dean… like this.”
She faces away from him again, and he instinctively helps her straddle him. Standing over him, one leg on each side of his lap. Her hand reaches between her legs to grab his cock and guides it to her entrance, slowly sinking down on it until he bottoms out.
“Hmm… fuck, Kitten, I’ve missed that tight little pussy of yours.”
And it’s true, he did miss her cunt, but most of all, he missed her. He hated to admit it, but none of the chicks he brought home could hold a candle to Eve. They didn’t feel like her, taste like her, move or moan like her. He even went to Eden, but none of the strippers made him feel anything because they weren’t her.
Eve braces her hands on the stall walls, arches her back a tiny bit, and slowly starts to bounce. Once she finds her rhythm, she starts bouncing faster, softly mewling. He groans, feeling his orgasm build up quickly, realizing this is not what he wants.
“Slow down, Kitten, you’re gonna make me blow my load before I get you off.”
His hands grab her hips, pulling her down, stopping the motion altogether. She tilts her head backward, kissing him and nibbles on his lower lip.
“Tell me what you want me to do to make you come.”
“Rub my clit with your fingers, please...”
“That’s my girl.”
His hand reaches around her, and as she resumes her bouncing, while he rubs her clit with his fingers, at the same pace she’s bouncing in, faster and faster, the obscene slapping of skin against skin echoing through the ladies’ room. Joined by soft moans, squeals, and groans from them both.
He can feel her walls tighten around his cock, so his free hand travels up to her face and covers her mouth to stop her from making too much noise. Her climax washes over her as Eve mewls and screams against his hand. Dean stifles his sounds by clenching his jaw and swallowing his groans when he comes with her, her pussy fluttering around his cock. Both their bodies are shuddering and trembling from the intensity of their releases. She lifts herself off him, allowing him to remove the condom, which he tosses in the bin, and she turns around, straddling his legs and facing him, so they can spend a bit more time kissing and coming down from their highs.
“We gotta head back Kitten, don’t want you to get in trouble now, do we?”
She nods in agreement, and while she gets up, turns around, and bends over to grab her skirt and shoes off the floor, Dean can’t resist and slaps her ass. Hard. She yelps in surprise, and he can see a red handprint forming on her ass cheek.
“Do that again, uncle Dean,” she whispers, offering her ass to him to slap again.
“Hoo, look at you, Kitten, getting all hot and bothered. I’d love to spank that fine ass of yours, but we don’t have the time. I’ll do it next time.”
They both get dressed as fast as possible, and Dean slips out of the ladies’ room first. It doesn’t take very long for her to join him, sitting down and slipping back into her shoes. She looks disheveled and thoroughly fucked, though he can see it wasn’t enough for her. He’s pretty sure she’s going to get herself off when she gets home, and he will be watching.
The door opens, and Sam comes out. He can see his eyes moving from him to Eve, and he can see exactly what they did when he was in his meeting with John. It’s not going to take long for his little brother to crack.
“Dean, John wants to see you in his office.”
“He stands up, straightens his jacket, and strolls into his father’s office, the door closing behind him. He can’t stop himself from smiling.
“Looks like you had fun. Did you fuck her good?”
“I don’t know what you did to her, John, to get her so horny because she fucked me good. Her cunt was seriously dripping with slick. Eve must be crazy for you if she gets that fucking wet when she sees you.”
“I gave her bourbon and kissed her, but we both know how fucking frisky she gets when she drinks.”  
“I know her frisky state dad, better than anyone, and this was not her regular arousal. She wants you, and she wants you bad.”
“Regardless of how much Eve and I want to fuck each other’s brains out, your little brother knows you’ve been fucking her.”
“Yeah, he didn’t seem to like it, but ultimately it is Eve’s decision and not his. You should have seen his face when I showed him her BARE profile pic with the ballet boots. If he ever thought she was this innocent little girl, well, he knows she’s not after that. I mean, I don’t mind she’s trying to pick up other people because it allows me to sleep around as well.”  
He knows he’s telling a big fat lie because Dean’s seen her and Jamie make those profiles, and she has no interest in picking up other men besides him, John and Sam, but Dean just needs someone to believe he still wants to fuck every woman on the entire planet. The inner conflict of wanting to screw around but not wanting to because of Eve drives him insane. It’s complicated. He’s conflicted.
John scoffs. “Of course, because you’d do anything to avoid looking at how you feel about Eve.”
“I’m not in denial, dad. I care for her a lot; we’re best friends with some great benefits, but I just don’t want to be tied down, and this arrangement works fine for the both of us.”
“Until your little brother decides you can’t touch her anymore once he claims her.”
“Maybe, but at the rate things are going, it’s not going to happen anytime soon.”
“If you say so, Dean. Let’s call Eve and Sam back in here, shall we?”
Dean nods, walking to the door, opens it, and pops his head around it.
“John wants to see the three of us in his office. He’s made his decision.”
Sam walks in with Eve on his arm, and Dean can see she’s exhausted and in pain with every step she takes. Sam helps her to the nearest chair, and she sinks into it, lifting her feet off the ground with a sigh of relief.
“It’s okay to take them off, you know… if they’re hurting your feet Little Bug.”
She pouts at Sam. “I know, but I like how I look in them. I’ll gladly suffer for my Louboutins.”
The three of them laugh at her stubbornness, though Dean can see she’s very much done with this entire day.
“Right. Let’s get down to business.”
“After careful deliberation and talking to my sons, I have decided that I would like you to join our family business; I think you are going to be a valuable asset to this family. As of Monday, you will be working closely with my son Samuel as his Personal Assistant. He’ll teach you the ropes and guide you when needed. When you are ready, I am also willing to help your mother to pay for law school if that’s what you want.”
Dean watches her face go from grumpy to delighted in less than a second when she hears he hired her and is willing to help her mother pay for her college tuition. She tries to speak, but she can’t seem to form any words.
“No need to thank me, Darlin’. I do have one condition, though. Please give my son your undivided attention. Dedication.”
John stresses that last word and winks at Sam.
“Now you three crazy kids get the hell out of my office and go celebrate or something. I got stuff to do.”
They make their way outside, and at the entrance, they part ways with Dean, who mutters something about some errands he must run. He doesn’t have anything planned; he just wants to get home and watch Eve get herself off.
Chapter 7
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oversharingempath · a month ago
Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? nope. my family has before but i don’t  Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? yeah and i got in trouble for it i’m sure What do you currently hear? i’m watching supernatural Do you get snow where you live? sometimes What’s your favorite flavor of Doritos? cool ranch
Do you prefer to listen to songs with meaningful lyrics? yes What’s one language you wish you could speak? japanese When was the last time you went swimming? over the summer What’s your favorite movie genre? (Action, comedy… ect.) it’s hard to choose, i love a lot of different kids of movies Who was the last person to hold your hand? i don’t know, probably the person i went on a date with last Do you have any clothing with animal print on it? maybe? i can’t remember to be honest Do you like bagels? yes! everything bagels particularly Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? no because i’m never having kids When was the last time you climbed a tree? a few summers ago Has anything eventful happened today? yeah, eventful in all the wrong ways Have you ever seen a hippo in person? i think i did on the disney safari thing  What’s the relationship between you and the last person you talked to? best friend What was the last compliment you received? i really don’t know What was the last thing that made you mad/upset? nothing is making me mad, but i’m very upset finding out one of my best friend’s has stage 3 breast cancer What’s something you do too much? aimlessly scroll Do you currently have any bruises? i don’t think so Do you have a hard time remembering stuff? yes. thanks depression Do you like the band A Skylit Drive? i know of them but don’t think i’ve ever listened to them Are you any good at HTML? basic html, sure What’s stopping you from going after what you want? fear When you were younger, what was your dream job? marine biologist  How often do you have nightmares? rarely. i have stress dreams a lot but don’t classify those as nightmares Have you ever had a re-occuring dream/nightmare? not that i can recall When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? i have no idea Do you ever sleep with a stuffed animal? i have been lately because i’ve been very anxious What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? a form for school Do you have a digital camera? not anymore Honestly, are you spoiled? no, now i live in poverty lmao Do you ever cry just to get your way? nope Who’s someone you want to see right now? just anyone honestly, i miss my friends Have you ever been to any professional sports games? yes What’s the most boring sport to watch? golf or tennis Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? yes What color are your eyes? hazel Do you have good or bad vision? bad vision and it’s been getting worse lately Are you a vegetarian? no Have you ever been stung by anything? yeah, a bee, a wasp and a jellyfish Do you snort when you laugh? sometimes Is there anyone’s laugh that makes you laugh when you hear it? oh yeah! Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren’t supposed to? yeeeeah, but only for like a second What was the last thing you watched on the television? supernatural Have you ever had someone threaten you? yes When was the last time you received flowers from someone? i have no idea, i only ever buy flowers for myself Is there something you want to say to someone, but don’t have the nerve? yes If you suddenly went deaf, what would be your most missed sound? the sound of my friends’ and family’s voices What’s your favorite kind of ice cream? pumpkin or coffee Have you ever been to a different country? no sadly Do you laugh when someone falls down? no, unless i know they’re okay What was the last thing you were confused about? i’ve been struggling with confusion a lot lately Who’s your favorite band? the front bottoms Are you paranoid? to some extent but i’m more anxious than paranoid Do you enjoy listening to 80’s music? it’s okay, depends on what it is What was the last movie you saw in the theaters? detective pikachu When you tell someone you’ll call them back, do you usually forget to? no, i almost always call back What was the last thing you ate? a lemon drop cookie
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oh-for-fic-sake · a month ago
His Grace’s Protection
Summary: You unknowingly catch Mr brandon’s eye at court and once he has been made a duke he begins making arrangements to court you now that he has a right to. But when rumours of your fathers mistreatment of his family reaches him he decides that he has no time to waste courting you, he must wed to as soon as he can.
Warnings: Angst, Verbal Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Mentions Of Beating, Face Slapping, Threats Of Rape, Threats Of Whipping, Forced Engagment, Swearing, Fluff, HEA.
A/N: here is a oneshot I need a few days away from my chaptered stories so been working on a few one shots. This one is a little different I’ve had it in my mind for a while and finally decided to write it down I hope you all enjoy. xx
Taglist: @isitmine​ @tinabean37​ @loserrlauraa​  @msblkfire84​ @henrythickcavill​ @plainbrunettelbl​ @dummiesshort​ @cynic-spirit​ @pandaxnienke​  @two-unbeatable-beaters​ @libbymouse​ @wolfieash​ @eldarwen333​ @princesssterek​ @mom2000aggie​ @blackestpinkworld​  @kebabgirl67​ @luclittlepond​ @beck07990​ @watercoolerpaint​ @sofiebstar​ @secretlywriting​ @mansaaay​ @summersong69​
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The sorrow was all consuming, your heart cracking even though your family were proud, father and uncle were patting each other on the back and drinking to their good fortune. Your mother wiping tears away pressing kisses to your cheek. Your sisters stood in the corner, managing both a scowl and sneer all at once.
"B-but I don't want to" you uttered shocked by the way your so called loving family were celebrating without even consulting you on the decision. Your father rounded on you with a stern face making you shiver seeing the rage boiling beneath.
"Well you are child. You will grin and bear it. Grin and bare sons!!" your father hissed at you, voice holding a dark insidious intent. A venomous 'or else' hung unspoken in the air. You shook you head as the tears began to build, burning your eyes as you panicked, and began a futile plea. You knew it was folly, felt your mother and sisters hold their breath as you argued with your beastly father.
"But neither Mildred or Amelia are yet married?! Father please! I am the youngest I should not be wed before my sisters it is not proper! A-and I do not even know him. I have barely said two words to his grace!" your words were accompanied by panicked gasps, fear of both the impending marriage and your fathers reaction to your arguing. You expected a beating once more but your desperation of escaping a loveless marriage was far more overwhelming to you.
"And those words must have been quite something to capture his attention to this degree" your uncle said critically managing to halt the outburst from your father who was wound tight in his anger and the absolute audacity of you ever speaking back to him in such a fashion. You were a woman, and his daughter and he will be damned if you ever disrespect him and his wishes ever.
"Or maybe you gave his grace a true mouthful rather than mere words?" Your eldest sister taunted, envy seeping into the bitter tone.  They were angry and envious, both had lain with Charles and sung praises of how gifted he was at plundering his lovers. But they were also angry of your impending escape from an abusive father, the man was no good and cruel to both his wife and children. They feared he would find them equally cruel husbands to lord over them, at least Charles was only unkind for his wandering. He did not seem the type to beat you with a belt or cane until you had to remain hidden from court for almost two months. Mildred had even stopped her bleeds once after a beating, your father was beside himself with rage. After all what good was a woman who is barren? What price could he ask for a useless woman? None.
"Hush yourself Amelia! We all know your sister is the only one of you to not have ruined themselves for a lords trinket! And thank heavens for it! If this family relied on your marriages we'd all be in the shit" your fathers ire turned on your sister a much harsher nasty bite in his words. Sometimes you truly thought he hated you all. You were not male. Not his heirs and he had no legacy. His only legacy will be the fortunes and titles he could acquire through his daughters and two had ruined that prospect for him. And you knew they did it purposefully, they wanted to ruin the man who tormented you all. You were not as brazen, not so cunning.
"Father I swear I have not lain with no lords-" Amelia attested, stupidly stepping towards him whilst lying to his face. You father struck with all the speed and intent of a snake. Amelia fell to the ground hissing and weeping silently cradling her now marred face. Your father eyes Mildred and snorted like a raging bull. Waiting for her to speak out, darling her, willing her to utter a word or try to comfort Amelia. He wanted a reason to hit her also. Your father then turned to your wounded sister with a sneer he looked like he wanted to spit at her with the disgust and fury roaming his face. But there was also that look. The twinkle in his eyes that showed his glee at harming you. He enjoyed the power he had over you all.
"No? So it was hedge borns? I atleast prided myself to have two courtly harlots tumbling with lords and dukes!! Certainly a much more disappointing child then I could have thought!..." Amelia stayed in a crumpled heap on the floor knowing not to rise until instructed as your father rounded her slowly making his way back to you.
"Father please! Send Amelia or Mildred, they are much better suited to this position, I cannot be a duchess! I don't know where to start- I don't want to disappoint you!" you pleaded trying to get him to see reason but couldn't help shuffling back in fright as he crossed the small space halting in front of you.
"He asked for you. Not your sisters. you. I would not dishonour him by sending a cheap harlot!" he snarled flicking his gaze to your sisters who now stood huddled together not even looking from the floor. Both were scared and did not want to anger your father anymore.
"His grace asked his majesty right after receiving his badge of office. It's said his majesty had not even managed to return to his throne before the duke was requesting your hand" you uncle added from the small table pouring another goblet of celebratory wine.
"Mother please if you have any love for me do not do this- do not ask this of me, please do not make me go to him" you said your sorrow now becoming a desperate fear. You atleast wanted to be consulted or court the duke before marriage. You didn't want to disappoint him and insight the dukes anger if you were not what he imagined.
"Your father has spoken on this matter" you mother spoke in a strained voice. She will not intervene, her eyes looked to you in sorrow and apologies she could not voice. Her hands were tied, she could argue but all that would achieve is her husbands fury directed to her and most likely have to miss your wedding for having a marred face.
"I am not asking you, or discussing this further. I am telling you,  you are marrying the duke of Suffolk and will use your new position and closeness to the king to better the status of this family! The king has made it clear to me that I am to give you to the duke. I have no objections to the pairing. You are to become a duchess. What lowly lord does not want that for his daughter?" your father hissed at you growing angrier with each word. He will not have this fortune stripped from him by any man nor woman. Not even daughters happiness meant more than climbing the social ladder.
"I do not love him! He is incapable of becoming faithful! Would never settle for just me-"
"AS IS HIS RIGHT! He has a right to do as he pleases for he is a man! I have already accepted. You are to marry the duke of Suffolk after mass in two days, until then you are to break your fast with him and sit along side him during meals. You are at his beck and call and I expect you to persue this engagement whole heartedly." You turned away from him not wanting him to see your tears as you broke. Heart shattering under the tight pressure, the coiling fear and shame holding you firmly in its cold nauseating grasp. It was not that you disliked him, you found him pleasing to the eye and he was very polite when speaking with you. Charming and funny but not flirtatious or vulgar as you would suspect from his reputation.
No you had no issues with marrying the duke persay, it was just that you didn't want to be a wife to a man whore. A small quiet womb that waits for your husbands return. It was not the life you wanted, duchess or not you never wished to be unhappy, you wouldn't mind being a farmers wife penniless and cold as long as you were happy and in love.
Your father snapped a hand out at your chin squeezing, fingers digging into your flesh threatening to bruise you as he had done so many times before. You wept and shook in fright as his other hand rose, for a moment you believed he was going to strike you but your uncle stopped him.
"Charles will not be pleased to have a damaged beauty greeting him at his table,  and the king will enquire also. It is best not to leave marks for now they could make for uncomfortable conversation, should she fail the we could take a trip to the stables I'm sure they will not notice a whip missing and once she proves useless we could let the lords have at her like her sisters" the room became quiet, even your sisters looked on shocked, mother was mortified but none of them came to your aid. Each knowing it was no empty threat, and had they spoke out he would do the same to them. Your father was cruel and vicious and never spared the rod, in fact it was his preferred means to correct his family. But he had never ever threatened to use a horse whip before or to have you broken in. But you knew, you knew that they would and it terrified you.
"That is a very good idea... and that is what you will get should you dare lie with him and ruin this marriage! I will not have my last chance to fortune ruined by another harlot offspring. Do you understand?"  He hissed now squeezing your jaw and pointing at you with villainous intent.
"Yes father I understand" you whined tears now falling as your jaw felt it would crack under the pressure. It was the anger of you becoming untouchable, the audacity that he could not strike you if the mood took him.
"Good now get yourself dressed you are to be presented to court as the dukes intended, I hear the king has even invited you for an audience with him and the duke this afternoon" with that you were released pushed back a few steps. You cupped your jaw still weeping softly, sniffling but thankful you'd been released from his anger fairly unscathed. You made to walk around him and your uncle to your chamber but was stopped with the voice of your uncle ringing out.
"Do you remember what you wore the day you caught the dukes attention?" He asked a casually not the least bit bothered by your fear and sorrow. He and your father only saw you as a means to an end, you were a bargaining chip and currently their ticket to royal status.
"Yes uncle- my green gown with the small rubies" you said head down turned not wanting him to see the defeat in your eyes or the tears rolling down your cheeks. You were humiliated,  frightened and completely heart broken to think your life shall become fodder for gossip as the duke bedded the court ladies as he pleased.
"Good wear that, and have you hair down I hear the duke enjoys long loose locks" he stated reiterating that your life was already dedicated to serving the duke of Suffolk.
"But she will fiddle with it, she always does" you father protested only to pause at the look on your uncles face. Smug and jovial, he was amused laughing at you as always.
"Making her seem shy and innocent brother, pure." He teased the words rolling off his tongue with a victorious mirth.
"Ah i see, very good- you hear me girl? Your green dress, and hair down... girls help your sister- do not disappoint she is now our jewel, our little gold mine. Should she succeed she will acquire you both husbands of lands and titles... perhaps even barons!" Your fathers words perked up your sisters, even your mother looked happy, something the woman rarely seemed now days as your father grew more and more cruel as you and your sisters aged.
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You placed a hand at your chest waiting outside of the throne room. People were gossiping trying to figure out who you were? Why you were here? A possible mistress? You shook below your gown feeling more afraid then ever. The king had a temper you didn't want to offend him or do something silly and make a mockery of yourself. Your sisters word also still ringing in your ears. They wanted you to take the duke and escape and then help them find kind husbands and leave the care of your father before it was too late. You didn't ever want to think of 'too late' your ultimate fear; your siblings ultimate fear was him loosing his temper and striking too hard and too precise. The reality was your father could one day accidentally kill you, and no one would ever know or question it. For all your fathers rage and cruelty he had court fooled.
"The lady y/n! And her father lord Y/L/N" the crier called and you strode into the throne room. Stopping at the small steps you bowed, dropping into a low curtsey as your father spoke on your behalf.
"Majesty it is an honour, may I present my youngest daughter- y/n" you swallowed dryly as you were introduced and greeted the king politely.
"Your majesty" the words were quiet even for you. But the king did not call you out on them he simply clapped his hands and chuckled gleefully.
"Aha! A true beauty indeed! Charles you dog I'm almost envious of you finding such a jewel, had I laid eyes on her first I'm sure to have tried my luck" henry called out to you making you gasp and flush you rose slowly and flicked our gaze to the king only to look away in fright unsure if not would offend him.
"Your majesty is too kind" you uttered quietly trying to stop your eyes from wandering, casting your gaze to a spot on the rug and control your breathing as it set in that you were speaking to the most powerful man in the kingdom. He could rid himself of anyone, anything!
"Ah modest too, your betrothed will make a fine duchess" Henry said to Charles who replied from the side of the throne. You hadn't even seen him. You flushed and quivered nervously as your betrothed spoke happily from beside the king.
"Yes, I have had my eye on her for a while... beauty, grace and intelligent enough to forsake courtly gossip" Charles spoke, he watched you from henry's side. Charles was pleased, his chest tightened each time he saw you. You stole his breath and he loved it. Even more now that you were to be married, you were to be his and no others the thought pleased him greatly. You were a sweet little thing and held a purity that was rare in court.
"A holy trinity for a lady of court!" Henry bellowed stepping down from his throne and held his hands out. His eyes ran the length of you. He was pleased by what he saw, a demure slight woman. Young too you were a mere 20 summers old and your youth added another layer to the innocence you radiated. There was no doubt in Henry's mind you were a true maid.
You were frightened, standing tall and stiff quivering slightly before him. It made him frown, you were a tad too frightened of him. The his eyes slid to your father, perhaps it was not your king you feared.
"Come my lady, let us dine in private. I wish to know more of my most trusted friends lady" the king instructed and strode off to the left.
"Your majesty" you spoke and relaxed your shoulders breathing a sigh of relief as you heard the footsteps of the king trail across the room. You then looked up only to freeze once more and squeak ,seeing nothing but a fine black jerkin and thick golden chain imbedded with large red and green jewels. Your eyes gazed upwards until finally they rested on the handsome smile of your would be husband. He stood to the side and offered his arm.
"Shall we my lady?" He asked making you take a deep breath and nod looping your own arm in his before following the king, your father trailed behind as is custom. To chaperone you and attest your innocence.
The meal was incredible, your family ate well but the food in your apartments was nothing compared to what graced the kings table. Foods from new worlds exotic, delicious and it was plentiful. You sat quietly speaking as little as you could for your father was beside you. His foot pressing on your toes if you began to speak too much. So you only spoke when you needed to and very short answers if you could. You were watched from all sides seated across from the king and Charles at your left.
You frowned tugging at your bodice. You wanted to continue eating but had little in the way of appetite. Nerves and the fear of making mistakes turning your gut. Your dress was not helping either. The constricting fabric only added to your nausea.
"My lady are you well? You are merely picking at your meal" Charles asked slowly watching you with keen eyes. He had noticed something odd about you and your father. Unlike most young maids conversing with the king and himself you did not try to impress or even interact. Instead you quivered shaking in your skin terrified barely making a peep. You flinched each time your father made sudden moves of his hand or if he laughed to loudly you would jerk away. You also didn't look at him, avoided looking at him whatsoever! Normally a young woman in this position would eye her father as a protector, look to him for assurance. But you were fearful and skittish.
It would appear the rumours were true, your father ruled with a heavy hand. It wasn't uncommon for woman to need correcting but the stories and quiet mutters of your father were of a different more violent cruelty. As rumour would have it your father didn't so much as correct more harmed. Charles had only found out of such things recently after inquiring after you in a hopes to court you. And now he sought a marriage much quicker then he would have liked. Not that he didn't want you or was questioning his decision, but he wanted to court you as you deserved. To woo you with sweet flowers and long strolls in the gardens, quiet lunches and outings about London. He wanted to shower you with affection and gifts, secret letters confessing his affections and the love he harboured for you but he now had a sense of urgency. He wanted you out of harms way.
"I-I am content your grace... I have not indulged in such deliciously rich food before, and am trying to pace myself is all" you said softly wiping at your mouth with a napkin and wincing slightly. Your jaw ached, throbbed with and unpleasant tooth ache sensation. It was a little swollen but barley noticeable, and the skin was reddened and threatened a bruise. Luckily your sisters had enough make up to try to cover the mark but you fear it was not enough.
"So your lack of feasting has nothing to do with your jaw" Charles asked wiping his own mouth and throwing down the napkin resting his hands on the table either side of his plate. You froze and snapped your gaze to him worriedly, then glanced to your father fearfully as his jaw twitched locking rage painting his features in an unsightly scowl.
"My jaw?-" you stuttered returning your gaze to the duke but it was the king who spoke next glaring coldly at your father, not that your father notice he was to busy burning his gaze into your scull willing you to make an excuse.
"Is injured my lady, of that we can both see clearly" the monarch said slowly softening his gaze  as the light blue eyes rested on your frightened form.
" What happened to it?" Charles then spoke drawing your attention to him. You shook your head slightly and furrowed your brow cupping your injury and looked back to your plate. Not wanting to speak of this. If they found out your father will not be pleased.
"Your grace? My jaw is fine-" you began trying to brush off the men's observations.
"Though you have covered it in makeup I can still see 'tis red and you are wincing" the duke continued, he tipped his head trying to encourage you to glance at him but you didn't. You drew sharp breath and bit the side of your cheek panicked.
"Indeed Charles- I almost thought your lady did not like our small luncheon"  the king added a small tease to his voice, it would seem both men were accustomed to sniffing out lies. You whined and closed your eyes before swallowing dryly, managing to rid yourself of the panic bubbling in your throat and spoke.
"No no nothing of the sort your majesty.. I just" you looked to your farther and quickly cast your gaze down frightened by the heat in his eyes, his jaw still locked tight and lips thinned by rage.
"She fell and knocked her jaw this morning your grace isn't that right y/n" he said quickly turning to the king and duke. He didn't notice the look shared between the two high ranking males as he cast you a severe glance.
"I... yes I fell" you uttered with a small voice and tucked your hands in your lap twisting your fingers in the fabric of your skirt.
"I'm sure lord y/l/n that lady may speak for herself, yet she does not seem to be convinced of her fall" the king said with a dark bite to his tone.
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Henry had taken an instant dislike to your father since arriving at court. But he did not have a reason for the untoward feelings he held for the man, nothing but a gut feeling.
Your father was known for his temper and twisting words managing to wheedle his way through other lords trying to rid himself of his daughters. The older two were well known in court, they warmed beds for trinkets.
So when Charles had asked for the hand of lord y/l/n daughter henry had been shocked. The king had not been aware of you, the youngest. Shy and quiet most of your days were spent painting or reading, you were rarely seen and did not stay in your apartments some say you even wrote. Scribed your own books- stories and poems. Henry had been impressed to learn these rumours to be true and even acquired some poems, his servants managing to slip away some notes you left unattended. You were good, both eloquent and conscious with your words. But each one had a sorrowful tone. Some macabre  and willing for eternal sleep yet set in a romanticised fashion.
Others were of the cruelties of 'existing in a flaming house, being both burned and frozen' some even spoke to him, moved him in ways he never believed a female written poem could. He had agreed to Charles' request. You were honourable god fearing young woman who was well mannered and shy. Perfectly fit to become a duchess and the wife of his good freind.
It was only now watching you and your father the king began to truly understand the words you had wrote. Your position was precarious, you were the last untainted daughter of a foul tempered power hungry lord. And you were afraid of him, he has no doubt that you'd been hit before attending this audience today. Many daughters weep when they learn of their matches and you must have been upset over being handed to Charles a well known man whore. And your protest must have earned you a strike or two.
"I-I did fall your grace... I am embarrassed,  I posses all the grace of a waddling toddler and... I wish not to be seen for the clumsy soul I am is all" Charles glared at your father as you offered him a feeble excuse trying to cover for the man beside you who only had to breath in your direction and you would flinch. Charles looked to henry who nodded to him. They both knew, your father was a brute.
"And how does one fall and injure just the side of their jaw?" The king asked and slowly sipped his wine sharp blue eyes pinning you. You drew in a deep breath as the monarch watched you critically. Swallowing you smile and managed to morph your fear into a shy smile.
"I became excited... I was overjoyed to learn of my engagement... I admit to childishly jumping around for joy with my sisters, I slipped on Mildred's latest sewing project and struck my jaw on the table." You said panicking and quivering. Though you were terrified of being caught lying to the king of England, your father frightened you more.
Charles moved and laid his palm over one of your clenched fists squeezing until, you uncurled your fingers and ha managed to link hands with you holding it gently in his powerful palm
"Ah, well that explains it, you are full of life and youth! I am pleased to hear of your excitement, but please be careful. I would not be to pleased should you suffer injury accident or otherwise" Charles said he spoke softly and sincerely to you, almost loving in his kindness. You felt the warmth of his gaze then it left you. You peeked up at him and saw the once gentle male now looked hard and angered, his once jovial face now carved into a stone venomous glare, cool collected and frightfully dangerous. But beautiful all the same, it made you feel light? Watching him staring down your father, a smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth as your father finally looked away fiddling with his food. Charles remained still ignoring you but for holding your hand under the table.
"I'm sure to be careful in future your grace" you said tipping your head to him knowing there would be hell to pay if you did not intervene and save your father humiliation. The king watched curiously as you once again came to your fathers aid, albeit reluctantly. Henry was the king and he knew the difference between loyalty respect and fear. He lived and breathed it, every single person he had ever met in his life had fit into one. You feared this man. But your respected both him and Charles.
"Well I shall protect you from now my lady, I will have guards at your door to listen out for you and your clumsiness" Charles uttered leaning closer to you pulling your hand from beneath the table and pressed a sweet kiss to your hand. You giggled and blushed nervously. There was no doubt you were a maid no woman could fake your subtle gasps and mewls and rosey cheeks at every minute affection Charles bestowed on you.
"Th-that is not- I assure you your grace I am perfectly capable of dealing with her-" your father said trying to argue with the duke politely and save face at the same time.
"I'm sure you are but she is to be my wife, and I will always protect my wife from those who would cause her harm...." Charles said in a commanding deep voice that left no room for any arguments. Then promptly gave your father the cold shoulder in favour of facing you once more.
"Even herself" the words were whispered but still had a commanding tone to them. They held another meaning, a subtle one. For a moment you think he understood that you were lying in spite of yourself, trying to keep your father happy whilst also risking your own well being by lying to the king. Whether he knew this or not the main message was clear. The duke was not going to be swayed and you were his to protect... and he felt you needed it. Charles finished the statement by bringing you hand to his lips once more resting them on your knuckles before place long sweet kisses to them.
It made you giddy and flustered, your worries of him wandering seemed to fade as he fawned over you. And the topic was dropped just as quickly as it had come about. The conversation picked up from there, and you were forced to join both the duke and king in discussions of literature and song. You learned that the king had gathered together a large set of paints for you as a wedding gift with you thanked him for eagerly. He was also instructing Holbein to paint a portrait of you and Charles for your new home in Suffolk.
You spoke for a time trying to remember a few details. Likes and dislikes and such of the two men. More so Charles. After another twenty minuets of so you managed to relax and finally plucked up the courage to ask something that had been on your mind.
"May I... ask something of you your grace?" your words were quiet but drew the attention of the room, all three males looking to you awaiting your question.
"Of course my lady" Charles replied seeing that you were not going to speak without express permission.
"Why?... Why are we to be wed so quickly? It seems very rushed?" you said trying to be polite but still you wanted to know why you were not going to be courted properly, that you have two days to know your husband before you were to be wed. Charles grinned and leaned forward to you his eyes twinkling before he spoke candidly.
"Because I refuse to risk you being promised to another whilst I am away on important business... So I am to marry you then you are to join me over seas next week" he said jovially his face bright and full of excitement as he spoke. You gasped and covered your mouth before squealing joyfully.
"Truly?! Over seas!?" you gushed, you'd never been anywhere- not even Scotland! So the prospect to board a boat and travel over seas was marvellous! You couldn't wait your face split into a huge grin at the prospect of seeing new lands!
"Yes lady y/n, Charles is escorting my sister Margaret over seas for her marriage... the trip will be a few weeks long, Charles here was beside himself with worry that he would lose his chance and all but demanded for your hand. So you are to marry and join him." the king said enjoying watching you light up so beautifully. It was a shame you seemed so sullen because your joy truly did lighten the room.
"Your majesty? She is to leave on official bussiness? So soon" you father snipped not impressed in the slightest to have you wander so far soo soon. As much as he wanted this marriage to go ahead he still wanted to rule you as he does now. He didn't want to lose any power over you. It was only now he began to see that once a duchess you were royal. You would become her royal highness duchess of Suffolk. A good few ranks above him- you would be able to command him if you so wished. Your father didn't like it.
"Yes, not that its your concern... once married she is in Charles' care and he may do as he wishes" the king spoke with a finality that shook the table. The warning was clear, your father was to remember his station.
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"My lady, I was hoping you'd accompany me in the gardens for a stroll." Charles broke the uneasy silence hoping that some fresh air would calm everyone's tempers, but he feared henry was far to gone. He could see the vindictive glint. The king wanted to toy with your father.
"I... That would be very wonderful your grace" you said wanting to be out of this tense room as quickly as you could be. You could not handle this pressure.
"I should chaperone-"
"No.. I will, I feel lady y/n would be more relaxed and speak freely if her father wasn't there... she seems terribly nervous in your presence" the king  said a gravely tone to his voice, cold and violent but still. Your father drew a breath he was not a man who liked being interrupted even by a king. But then again many narcissists did.
"Your majesty I... may I be so bold to say she may be nervous in your majesties presence" you held your breath snapping your head to your father and squeezed Charles' hand as your father tried his games with the king. The monarchs eyes grew darker and colder and he grinned viciously setting down his knife stabbing it into the large wedge of cheese sat on the plater before him.
"My that is bold when she has been sending you fearful looks and muttering excuses, she seems to fear her father more then her king... I find that disturbing" he growled his voice cold as winter and he leant forward to your father  threateningly. You moved your napkin from your lap and placed it over your plate taking shaky breaths as your father opened his mouth to argue with the king of England.
"Your majesty I… do not belive she has made excuses... it would break my heart to think my daughter ever be frightened of me... but it is custom for me to watch over her, my duty as her father-" your father grunted as he was cut off by the king once more.
"And it is my wish to take on that responsibility and give her some peace so she may become accustomed to the presence of the upper class and gentry she shall be surrounded by hence forth." you swallowed as your father way put in his place again. Henry flicked his gaze to you and saw you were trembling in your seat and clicked his tongue, it displeased him seeing such terror at his table.
"I do not wish for my friends lady to be uncomfortable in my presence. Or lord y/l/n is it that you belive I would allow your daughter to be sullied? That I her king, do not have her best interests at heart? That I lack such honour?" the king began snapping at your father letting his irritation seep into the words.
"N-no of course not your majesty- it is just I am... she is my first to be wed and I am excited to see her off to her husband. I'm eager to chaperone" suddenly with the kings anger rearing its head your father didn't feel as brave as he once did and began trying to dig himself out of the hole he'd managed to dig himself.
"Then perhaps you should attend your two other daughters and chaperone them for they sorely need it..." the insult was clear and caused your father to flush embarrassment and fury washing over him. Had you not been so frightened of the out come you would have giggled at the sight.
"Besides I'm sure you will have the chance to chaperone them soon should anyone see fit to take them as they are" henry added with a smile watching you bite your lip to fend off the amusement. The king lifted his brows at you before eyeing your flustered father again.
"Sh-should? I err yes your majesty... y/n I shall see you at supper-" your father asked understanding the threat. The king was saying that your sisters may never marry in his court if your father continued. But quickly moved on to bid you fair well pretending to care yet you could see the anger. He did not like that you were to spend time with the king and the duke with out him being around to eavesdrop. He thought you'd drop him in the shit. And honestly if you got the chance you will. You may not be as cunning as your sisters but that didn't mean you didn't hate your father. You loathed him and should the opportunity to rid yourself of him arise you will take it with both hands.
"She will be dining with me tonight in the hall... we need all the time we can get to become acquainted before our wedding" Charles spoke up as your father stood from the table he faltered but nodded.
"Ah yes yes of course.. I shall see you at home tonight, take care. Majesty, your grace" he said bowing then retreated from the room. Instantly you relaxed and heaved a deep breath.
"Come, let us go to the gardens, the sun is high and warm" Charles suggested and stood from his own seat and offered you his hand.
"Of course your grace-" you spoke letting him help you up and place your hand in the crook of his arm gently.
"Charles, please we are to be married~" he said leaning down to you with a cheeky grin. You flushed and looked away finding it hard to maintain eye contact with him. He truly was handsome, he'd been called the prized stallion for more reasons then just his stamina.
"Charles... I- you may call me y/n" you muttered softly to him making him tug you closer.
"I hope that invitation extends to me also my lady?" the king spoke rounding the table standing tall, it seemed he had enjoyed toying with your father and was in an agreeable mood.
"Yes your majesty of course" you said politely tipping your head to him before being ushered out of the door by Charles making his way to the gardens.
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"I thank you your gra- Charles... For giving me this opportunity to et to know one another" you began speaking once out side the fresh air felt marvellous and you felt as if you could breath freely. Charles strode next to you in and unhurried pace making his way through the courtyard garden towards the wider open roses and hedge rows.
"I assure you my lady I know you, have admired you from afar. I can hardly contain myself" he spoke confidently admitting to his own coveting thoughts. It was true he did know you, much more then you'd realise. He hadn't dallied once learning of his new rank he had found out everything he could about you.
"I... I did not know, I am not one for being about court" you said almost ashamed, you knew it was seen as odd to hold yourself away painting or with books but you wanted a quiet life and the court was a theatre everything was one big drama.
"Apart from the gardens, or library... occasionally the chapel" he added listing off your favourite hiding spots.
"Yes, I usually find myself in one of those places" you replied casting him a shy glance still moving through the gardens slowly trying to calm yourself and ignore the looks you were receiving. And you could understand, here you were arm in arm with the duke, being chaperoned by the king a few feet behind and the entourage of the kings guard trailing behind. Of course it was going to draw attention.
"I can see why, they are quiet and lack gossip" Charles said managing to ignore all the whispers and strange looks, by now he was used to being gawked at. You tipped your head looking up at him with a content look.
"Quiet, I do not partake in the gossip and rumours that sort of thing has a way of catching up on you ruining a quiet life so to speak" you shrugged as you spoke, explaining your reasoning for being a wallflower.
"Yes, that is what I long for, a quiet life. Well as quiet as court life can be... I long for a wife to avoid the drama of tittering females" the man admitted genuinly and offered you a serene look a small quirk of his lips.
"And a wife who will remain quiet and obey?" you prodded trying to figure out just what he was expecting of you once married.
"No. I want a wife like you kind and caring, smart and sweet" he listed trying to ease your fears as he felt your nerves return, you were so removed for court that you held no subtlety, but you tried it was endearing making his need to protect you grow even stronger. You needed protection and he was all to happy to oblige.
"Not weak and subservient?" you said fiddling with some loose threads on your dress anxiously.
"No. I see marriage as a partnership. When we are married you are my equal, and I hope that you will find yourself with me, find happiness and make a life with me. I hope that you will be able to confront me when I stumble" he tried to put what he wanted in words but was unable to find any suitable. All he knew was he wanted a real marriage, a true and faithful wife that he could love and keep for himself. He wanted a woman to leave him fulfilled and bare him children and give him the family he never had.
"D-do you plan to?... stumble that is?" your direct question brought him to a halt, feet stopping dead in his tracks and frowned shaking his head at you.
"No, I do not. My lady belive me I know what you are referring to but. Those days are behind me, I would very much like to grow up, I have duties now and a holding, title and many lives now depend on me to keep up with my duties... The days of sowing my oats so wildly are finish. There is only on garden I wish to plant my seed and with gods grace you will only wish to lay with me" he drew in a deep breath and moved a hand to hold yours, pulling the quivering fingers from your dress that you'd been plucking at and pressed a kiss to your hand.
"And for the remainder of my life I would like to have a beautiful thoughtful wife at my side. Your are possibly the most beautiful women I have met. Fairest in all the kingdom. Kind and generous, you are the sort of woman I longed for- the only one I have truly wanted so much so I did not want to ruin you, I have ached for you, dreamt of you long and hard for many nights." you swallowed eyeing him biting back a soft whine, your heart melted at his words and sweet kiss. He truly  seemed changed, mature and thoughtful. It was a far cry from what you expected. You had thought he sought you for his bride because he had not bedded you so knew you to be one of the few true maidens of court.
"Charles I... I don't know what to say? You never once approached me in that manner? We have spoke little and you were so taken by me yet I cannot fathom why. Surely you would want one of my siblings, after all you have bedded my both-"
"Were you jealous?" Charles asked quickly and stood by your side once more continuing to lead you down a long row of roses. There was a desperation in his voice yet no teasing, as if bedding your sisters had been to insight a reaction from you. You thought on the words for a moment and considered your answer before shaking your head and looking at him again.
"No. I felt... I'm unsure what I felt to tell the truth. Perhaps hurt? I have never garnered the attention of men, or craved it but. After years of watching men chase my sisters skirts I felt jilted-not by you but the whole of court! Not even the guards would not even look my way" you admitted unsure why you felt so comfortable speaking with him. For years you had worried you were unpleasant to look at, that you'd be a spinster and never have love or children.
"Because none felt they could have you, I certainly didn't. You are a sophisticated well bred young lady. None wanted to be turned down by such innocence, however I am happy to know of such innocence.  Not that I ever doubted it." Charles was quick to answer you it a sweet praise you didn't feel you deserved but instead of dwelling on the compliments you panicked only hearing that some doubted your innocence.
"I am innocent-I swear I am- dear god please I don't- please don't jest about such things, my father will hear- should he even think" you rounded him pressing a hand to his chest stopping him, your voice became higher as you spoke, your eyes wide with terror at the thought of any rumours getting to your father, you even believed your father would want to be present for your bedding ceremony or have the sheets as proof of your innocence.
"He would hit you? As I suspect he has done already to injure your jaw" Charles inquired pointing to your sore face, his own face growing hard and a fire blazing in his eyes as he saw in the daylight just how red and mottled your jaw was.
"I... he has not... Does not..." you stepped back removing your hand from his chest to cover the injury and turned away from him looking to the floor.
"Now now, do not take me for a fool, he terrifies you. How long has he been striking you?" charles said pressing his own hand over yours as you gently hid your marred face.
"Charles he does not-"
"How long my love?" he pressed in a serious voice. You paused, was this it? Was this your chance to tell someone? Would Charles help? For some reason you believed he would try.
"I... always... He has always done so as long as I can remember" you uttered almost breathlessly as you words escaped in frightful gasps. You'd never told a soul before it was both frightening and freeing. Charles drew in a deep breath and growled but stayed quiet rubbing your hand with his warming it.
"Not just me but my mother... sisters too. He is harder on them but we all endure his rod and belt... And threats" you continued slowly plucking up the courage to look him in the eye.
"Threats?" he grunted shifting on his feet and lowered his hand to your waist almost afraid of you bolting, you looked that terrified and lost.
"O-Of having my back bloodied by a whip from the stables and or allowing my innocence stolen by other lords, letting them have at me as they see fit" the words flowed freely without much of a thought but you covered your mouth quickly regretting letting so much escape.
"Dear god?! Truly, he has threatened you with these!? When? When did he threaten such despicable things my love?" he roared anger over taking him making him look frightening yet in a different way from your father? You didn't feel unsafe, quiet the opposite. It was strange seeing him get so angry on your behalf.
"To-Today Should my engagement fail those are two of what I fear are a great many consequences, he and my uncle conspire nothing but cruelties for us, for we are just women and inferior" you replied not wanting to keep these things inside anymore. You were terrified and needed help and Charles was listening.
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"And I suspect this is why you dread our marriage?" he said moving to smooth both hands over your shoulders slipping both hands over them and up your neck cupping your face sweetly.
"I do not dread it, I am excited truly, you are my freedom- I want to marry you but I am fearful. You are much younger and stronger than my father and i do not think I could bare to feel you wield a belt-" you said still trying to calm yourself but it was hard, for so long you and your family had suffered in silence, to blow the whistle was daunting.
"Do not even speak it, I will never give you cause for fear once in my household... If you wish to be? My lady I want you as my wife but I will not force you, should you say no I will keep you safe" his words soothed you in ways you never thought could be. You heart wept but not in sadness this time you were relived and happy. He wanted you still even now knowing the type of family you came from.
"I do want to wed you your grace. You are kind and handsome, smart and make me laugh... My hesitance is from fear of what ever punishments await me in your home. I know in my heart that I could love you easily I fear that I shall fall for you and you will break my heart by committing adultery. " you pleaded with him you wanted to let him know you wasn't against the marriage, that you wanted to be with him but you also wanted him to know your fears.
"Then I shall ease your fears for I know in my heart that I love you already. I will not stray. Once I have claimed you I am bound and I shall only ever find my ecstasy within your belly. And I swear on the life of his majesty himself you shall never be struck again. You will not be hit, not if you do not want it" he said with clarity his eyes boring into yours unblinking, unwavering making you pause and hold your breath. He ended with a sly smile and cheeky glint in his eye and a suggestive tone.
"Want to be- when would any woman wish to be struck?" you frowned scrunching your nose at him in confusion making him laugh out loud and begin to turn you hands stretched out, one finding its way to the small of your back and he ushered you along the path.
"There are some who enjoy a few light strikes on their bottoms~" he enlightened you making you flush, you gasped trying not to think of him striking your bear rear end. But it was too late, the image of him pressing you over a knee and reddening your cheeks made you quiver but not in fear, instead there was a warmth, a rush in your vein of heat and a pleasant feeling.
"Oh? Have I ignited a flame their my sweet?" he teased watching as your face flamed. You gasped and snapped your gaze to him, but he chuckled preening down at you from the top of his eyes and winked making you yip and look away. He held you firmer and chuckled at your embarrassment.
"I... Charles do not speak of such things!" you stuttered looking away. You swore you heard the king laugh from behind.
"Fret not love no one can hear, I swear to keep your little desire a secret. For I too enjoy reddening and upturned bottom occasionally" Charles hummed dipping down to your ear, his breath fanning over the shell making you shudder once more.
"I have no secret desire to be reddened!" you snipped at him but it only drew a louder laugh from him. You didn't mind much, he seemed happy. And you wasn't entirely against him reddening you... Well maybe in honestly you wasn't certain after living under your fathers roof it may be more frightening if the time ever came.  And to be caught speaking of such things would garner a lot of gossip! Something you didn't want.
"Yes yes I'm sure. But as I was saying, you need not fear anything after our marriage." he changed the topic quickly wanting to spend his time reassuring you that a future with him will be full or love and safety. That you would be happy.
"I will be a faithful and dutiful husband. And invite your sisters and mother to reside with us in my estate- as is my right." He spoke without any hesitance, it sounded like he had a plan and it soothed you somewhat. But you knew your father and residing with the duke will not be enough.
"That will not stop him. He will continue, I need to marry off my sisters." you said almost laying out your own terms, wanting him to know what it was you hoped to get out of your union. You will not abandon them.
"The it shall be so. I shall acquire titled husbands for your siblings. I will do anything you ask of me my lady for I am wanting. I deeply wish for your affection. And pray that you have me, that you will take me as your husband, not for fear of repercussions from our failed engagement. But for me as a man. A man who has wronged many but is changed and grown." his tone became smaller and more and more emotional as he spoke of his feelings. He was telling the truth, he wanted love and acceptance.
"I know what you have seen of me but I promise I am mature and wish for family, children and a wife. I want a home, a true home. And you are the only woman that makes me belive in that possibility. I will do anything you ask of me if you just try to love me for myself" he spoke turning to face you with an almost pleading look on his face. As if he was baring his soul and fearful you would reject him.
"A-anything?" staring at him feeling a tug at your heart. He almost looked as lost and frightened as you. Like his world was on the brink of collapse and he needed a little light to guide him out of the darkness. Somehow you had become that light. And he was becoming yours.
"Yes if it is in my power to do so you only have to ask" he said truthfully eyes boring into your own. He was in pain and you could relate to it.
"Charles, I do like you. You are handsome and kind the only thing I worried for was that I would end up broken as my mother. That you would be unfaithful and then strike me should I complain." you began slowly wanting to ease his thoughts. He made to argue but you pressed a finger to his lips and silenced him before continuing.
"But you have said this will not happen and I… I belive you. I will give you a chance but all I ask is two things in return. Treat me kindly whether love grows between us or not please be kind and honest." your voice had a strength you didn't know you could possess especially when speaking to a duke. Your hand fell to his arm that had once again looped around your own.
"Absolutely I will always be open and honest and treasure you as you should be"
"And help my mother, siblings and I... help us rid ourselves of my father- ask if his majesty has any positions for far of lands where my father will seldom return to us. Or... Or find a way to have him removed more permanently" you spoke letting your true feelings out, letting Charles see the darkness you harboured for your father. He snapped his gaze to you but didn't find a cold or angry face looking at him but a calm and composed one.
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"You wish to? To have him executed?" he reiterated wanting to be sure he had heard you correctly. You nodded stiffly and bit your lip trying to fight back a fresh wave of tears.
"He deserves it. He has beaten one sister until we believed she was barren, then he beat her again for not having her bleeds. This morning he almost broke my other sisters jaw because she dared try to disagree and then made to strike me. Once my uncle said you would notice a bruised face he stopped. Instead he seethed and squeezed my jaw until I felt it would snap. At the table he was stomping my feet as I spoke. Woman are to be seen and not heard... He will be so angry- soo angry that you and his majesty noticed, he will take it out on my sisters I know it!" the words once again flowed into the open, the dark deeds of your father coming to light. Then you paused and froze as a thought hit you. Your sisters. You let him return home in such a mood, surely he will harm them once home because he cannot harm you. Punish you by taunting them.
"God I should have come- I should have returned to warn them-" you reared back at the realisation but Charles held you becoming concered by your sudden panic.
"You belive he will be beating them now? Why?" he questioned becoming angered at the thought of your father returning and taking his anger out on three defenceless women. Harlots or not no woman deserves such brutality especially in her own home.
"Because he is angry, because they were told to cover my marred face with makeup and failed." your voice waivered as you felt guilt like you had never before. What ever state you found them in will be entirely your fault.
"Your majesty! Henry- please I have reason to believe my betrothed's mother and sisters are in danger, could you send guards to her apartments" you gasped as Charles turned pleading for the kings help. Henry moved closer scowling.
"yes of course but who would threaten them?" he asked even though he had a good idea already.
"Her father- y/n has revealed to me- are concerns were well placed. He beats them, until their bleeds stop for a time- and it was him who injured her this morning.. He has even threat to bloody her back with a horse whip... Threatened to have her raped should our engagement fail" Charles spoke making the kings face drain of colour only to then grown red with rage at the thought of such things happening in his court. He did not mind the corrections of women or harlots but to have such brutality and disgrace- to threaten to rape your daughter if she fails to gain a title? That will not stand.
"Is this so? Tell me lady y/n is there anything else your father has done you feel he should answer for?" henry seethed ready to have the man hung in chains for such things.
"H-He... That is I saw him-" you stuttered and looked to Charles feeling frightened once more as the kings rage boiled below the surface.
"Go on my love, tell his majesty, I will protect you" Charles coaxed slowly rubbing your back encouraging you.
"He stuck my mother with a hot fire poker because he lost a large bet in cards and she asked how she was supposed the feed and clothe us for the month. Please please make him leave! I wish to be free of him, I truly do he is vile and I fear one day married or not he will kill one of us in a rage!" you spoke so fast you were unsure they understood you but they did. And nodded sharing a look, henry had wanted to rid himself of your father and now Charles and yourself had gave him reason to. To injure you when you are promised to a duke and under his protection is an act against the gentry- and act against henry's lords court and in turn an act against himself.
"If you wish him gone then I shall adhere to your wishes." Charles said looking at henry pleading the king not to make him a liar as you panted and panicked weeping as the weight of your admission hit you.
"Consider him gone my lady, I will not have such a man in my kingdom. You and your family will never have to see him again... GAURDS see to it the lord y/l/n is arrested at once! See to the woman in his apartments and take them to the healers for any injuries." the king bellowed to some of the guards standing along the rows of roses. The red clad men bowed and began running off towards the palace. You couldn't help quivering watching their backs until the disappeared around the topiary's.
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Charles tugged at you making you face forwards again. You felt sick to your stomach placing one hand to your tummy takeing deep breaths. Mind racing as you thought of what you had just done. Would the king truly kill him? Or would he send him away in exile? If so would your mother follow him? You gave a dry sob covering your mouth as Charles held strong supporting you as he strode  along side the tall hedge maze.
"d-do you think less of me now? Ha-ave I ruined everything by telling my truth? My ungodly thoughts about the man who sired me? I should not wish his death but I do. I wish it with every fibre of my being! I'm a disgusting person" you said weakly jaw quivering as you spoke. You'd not even thought of Charles refusing you after such an unchristian display.
He stopped and spun to face you, two hands cupping each side of your face forcing you to look at him. Thumbs smoothing over the apples of your cheeks as tears stained them. He shushed you as you wept silently, yet you was unsure if it was reliefe or devastation. You may have just destroyed your prospects to have your father removed from your family.
"no, you have not, nor will you ever ruin anything by being truthful with me. I will do anything to see you happy and well... I told you, I love you already, and I'm only too happy to remove the danger your father clearly is to both you and your family. With him gone and our marriage i will be the soul provider for you and your sisters and your mother. You will all move to Suffolk with me and reside there" you sobbed quietly nodding as much as you could with him cradling your head gently. Your hands came up to his wrists and you hooks both palms over them smoothing your hands across the soft fabric of his cloak.
"Th-Thank you Charles I'm so- I cant even begin to?" you began but broke off into soft sobs as you felt free. For the first time unafraid it was something completely forign to you but you were in awe of it. Charles moved closer resting his forehead on yours breathing in a deep breath and groaning under his breath. You blinked at him meeting his blue eyes and was met with a smirk.
"May I kiss you my lady?" he uttered quietly, you giggled and flushed sniffing somehow your tears had slowed as fast as they started, his breath was fanning over your lips already.  
"But his majesty is right there?!" You laughed as Charles spun around locking his fingers in yours and looked to Henry who was a few feet away eyeing you with a smirk.
"Then it is a good thing I have always been faster then his majesty is it not?" Charles laughed and held your hand before darting into the tall hedge maze. You squealed and quickly grabbed your skirts hiking them up at you ran behind him giggling as he held your hand firmly pulling you to the left.
"You have five minutes Charles!" The king called from the entrance of the maze with a scoffing voice, He seemed happy for his freind.
"Ten!" Charles shouted over his shoulder as he dragged you deeper into the maze. You moved a hand to wipe at your face as you laughed running after your fiancé.
"Five! Or I will send in the guards!" you kings voice bellowed carrying over the rows of hedge that seperated the both of you.
"They will have a job finding us~!" Charles argued finally stopping in a small dead end and wrapped his arms around you picking you up and singing you until you were facing him and being backed up against the hedge row. The duke shuffled forward and grinned hands moving to your waist. His eyes didn't wander, locked on your face as he crowded you.
"Charles I don't want to be hunted by guards..." you hummed slowly pulling your hands to rest on the strong shoulders that topped his frame.
"Its fine his majesty jests, he has threatened many times to send guards after me" he chuckled dipping down almost rubbing noses with you still watching, staring at you in awe, like you were his salvation.
"You are sure?" you teased digging your fingers into the fur on his cloak, it was impossibly soft and thick. Warm. But that could have been the man himself that was warm like a furnace.
"....Perhaps ten minutes is pushing my luck" he chuckled leaning forward twisting his head a little and skimming his lips with yours, not yet kissing but teasing you. Ghosting the perfect cupids bow against your own lips.
"Ten minuets of what pray tell?" you said almost breathlessly flushing as he pressed himself closer once more, his jerkin brushing over the small amount of bosom spilling from your bodice.
"Ten minutes to taste your lips and devour your sweet breath until, you are maddened and left longing for my touch" he uttered lowly into your lips making you taste his wine sweetened breath. It was dizzying having such a man so close to you. Your heart protested in fast hard beats, threatening to give out inside your ribcage.
"You shall not touch?" you asked innocently blinking at him with a slight frown. You almost felt dissapointed  you wanted him to touch you. To show you a glimpse of the passions that awaited you.
"I will only feel what my lady allows me to, for her body is a church, A holy sanctuary and shall be treated with the upmost respect and due care. You are my gift from god and I shall worship you as such" he turned and wound his hands around to your back and he jerked you forward forcing you to feel him through the layers of clothes. Not even the hard bodice hid the fact he was a strong muscular man hidden beneath his fine clothes.
"And should I wish for you to place your hands upon me?" you pushed him still willing him to help himself to your quivering frame. He grinned brushing your cheek with his nose, drawing a line to your ear and hummed into your ear making you swallow dryly and shiver.
"Then I shall caress your flesh until you are sated and fulfilled" he promised before pulling your earl lob into his mouth and sucked nipping at it before letting it got with a wet pop and preceded to press the gentlest of kisses to your neck.
"Three minuets Charles!" henry called over the hedge making Charles roll his eyes, but before you could comment he arched forward meeting your lips moaning and twisting his head tasting you for the first time. You moaned into him as he moved probing with his tongue. It took little time for him to pry your mouth open and lick at your tongue suckling and lapping at it with sweet kitten licks. You yelped when he pressed harder pushing your head back into the hedge behind. His kiss was sweet and passionate, suckling at your tongue and moving with ease holding and smoothing his hands over you. You moaned closing your eyes relishing in the feel of him against you, it wasn't long before you had found a rhythm kissing him with as much fervour as he had and he was hoisting you up dragging your skirt up one leg so he could wrap your legs around him. Just as you pulled back gasping holding on to him he grinned.
"OI! BRANDON YOU PUT HER DOWN! I MEAN IF FEET ON THE FLOOR NOW!" you gasped and looked around Charles to see the king storming towards you both. You wriggled and quickly set your feet on the floor flushing, embarrassed to be caught in such a position and by the king no less!?
"See? He never sends guards~" Charles shrugged and laughed before taking your hand and settling it in the crook of his arm. And began walking towards the king who was waiting with a smirk on his lips and crossed arms.
"that is enough strolling for one day" the king said and spun on his heel making his way back to the palace. You and Charles shared a look and chuckled following his majesty. You snuggled up to Charles wrapping your arms around his making him cross his arm over his chest to bring you closer and press a kiss to your hair. Finally all felt right in the world. You didn't feel fear or worry. In fact you felt relieved and happy- a joy you'd not felt before. Your father was now being taken away you and your family would now live without fear of being beaten, Charles was still willing to marry you and take on responsibility for you and your family, housing and feeding them even promising to find kind gentry husbands for your two sisters.
For the first time ever life was looking up, and you'd never been more thankfull for it.
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klt123456 · a month ago
hii! i saw that you are going to be writing for the uncanny counter and was wondering if you could write a so mun one please. where the reader and mun are dating but none of the rest of the counters know about it until one day the reader walks into the noodle restaurant to say hi to mun. i hope that makes sense😂 have a good day:)
hehe I’m so excited to write this request! it’s my first for Uncanny Counter 🥳
Throughout your teen years, you always had a crush on Mun. And unknowingly, he had developed on a crush on you as well.
The only people that seemed to realize were your friends, and their determination to get you guys together had worked.
Sometimes it seemed to have worked too well.
Whenever anything happened in your lives, you both would be the first to know.
And in your case, the only one to know.
One strange day led to Mun being a counter and fighting evil spirits.
It was certainly a weird claim that he made and at first you almost admitted him into a psych ward, but when he walked without his cane you believed him.
Since he told you, he made you promise not to even utter a word about it to anyone.
You obviously didn’t, knowing the consequences for even telling you must be bad.
After each and every fight against a spirit, Mun would grab your hands with a big smile on his face and fill you in on all the cool stuff that happened. Never leaving out any details.
Your favorite parts of his stories however, was hearing about the other counters.
Everyone seemed amazing and you wished you could meet the people that made Mun so happy.
Though Mun just brushed it off whenever you would bring up meeting them, at first it would bother you. But then you realized it was probably nothing and decided not to think much of it. Until today.
Your friend from another school had forced you out of bed bright and early, ripping the covers off of you and pulling you onto the floor.
It was an eventful morning, full of shopping and just wandering around.
By noon, you both had gotten hungry and that is when you realized where you were.
“Wait, (f/n), Mun works around here. Let’s go there!”
“You just want to see your boyfriend.” They said, a teasing smile on their face.
You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything, it was half true after all.
In no time, you both arrived at Eonni’s Noodles, hungry and ready to see Mun. Upon sitting down at a table, you immediately looked around the restaurant for your boyfriend.
He didn’t seem to be around, so you just looked at the menu instead.
Eventually, a young woman came up to the table, asking what you wanted to eat.
You assumed she was Hana, and you were pretty sure you were correct. Mun had told you about everyone a lot so you tried your best to put all the pieces together.
Right before Hana walked away, you quickly asked her to stop.
“Is Mun here today?” You asked, hoping that he wasn’t off on a mission getting hurt.
Hana looked at you skeptically. Were you a bully from school? Were you here to make fun of him? Or worse?
She didn’t know but she wanted to find out.
Hana nodded and smiled, before excusing herself to go find him.
“There is someone here asking for you, right over...there. Should I say I couldn’t find you or?”
Mun’s eyes followed where Hana pointed and saw you sitting down at a table.
“Uh, no it’s fine. I’ll be right back.” Mun rambled quickly, running over to you.
You weren’t expecting to see Mun look so terrified as he appeared next to you.
“What are you doing here?” Mun asked.
“Am I not allowed to visit my boyfriend while he is at work?” You teased, a playful smile on your lips.
Mun shook his head, and your friend sent you a confused glance.
“No! I-I didn’t tell them about you, okay? I’ve been meaning to but every time I’m about to I chicken out. You are way out of my league and I’m afraid they will make fun of me. Especially Motak.”
You laughed at your boyfriend, not shocked that the other counters didn’t know of your existence.
“You’re an idiot! But whatever, just don’t keep me a secret forever.”
He nodded his head and kissed your forehead lightly out of habit, completely forgetting where he was.
Turning around, he ignored the stares the other counters were giving him.
Once he was out of eye sight from customers, Mrs.Chu pulled him into the kitchen.
“Who’s that?”
“Who’s who?”
Mrs.Chu hit the boy lightly, mumbling why he was acting so stupid.
“The person you just kissed, who was it?” Motak asked, turning away from cooking to question the younger boy.
“I-oh no. Well, you see, that was my-”
Mun stopped mid sentence and ran out of the kitchen, yanking you and your friend up from the table.
“We’ve got to go, now!”
You shared a confused look with your friend but neither of you said anything, instead you ran after Mun out of the restaurant.
“What is doing on?” You questioned, pulling Mun to a stop.
“I kissed you.”
Mun looked conflicted as he thought of what to say.
“Well they saw me kiss you and now they know, and they were questioning me and I knew Motak was about to start making fun of me. I just had to get out of there!”
“So you took us with you? I was enjoying my noodles.” Your friend muttered, a frown on their face.
You nodded your head in agreement, you were enjoying your food before Mun went all crazy.
“What? You want to go back after I just made you guys sprint out of there?”
“We didn’t get to pay, it would be a bit rude not to.”
Mun had a sour expression on his face as he turned away from you both.
“I’ll go back and get made fun of, the noddles are on me since I forced you guys to stop eating halfway.”
This time, you gave Mun a quick peck on the cheek before sending him off back to work.
Motak was waiting for Mun to get back, and smirked when he saw the boy walk through the door.
He ushered for Mrs.Chu to come over, and she did, yelling at the boy.
“You have some explaining to do!”
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beskaradberoya · a month ago
Unbound - Chapter 5
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This is another spin-off in the Bound Series, this story’s focus being Dean.
Summary: When the city’s most eligible bachelor and incorrigible ladies man Dean Winchester is first introduced to his younger brother’s stepdaughter Eve, he knew he wanted to be the first to pop her cherry. He never expected that it would turn out to be more than that.
Characters: Uncle Dean x OC Eve/ Stepdad Sam x OC Eve/ Step-grandfather John x OC Eve
Words: 7231
Warnings: step-uncle/step-niece relationship, stepdaughter/stepfather relationship, step-grandfather/step-granddaughter relationship, Dom/Sub relationship, 24/7 Dom/Sub, swearing, caning/whipping, subspace, oral sex (male and female receiving), sexting, rough sex, dirty talk, female and male masturbation, multiple orgasms, voyeurism, threesomes, edging, loss of virginity, squirting, sex in public spaces, drinking under 21, death of a parent, death of a sibling, car accident, angst, grief, PTSD, PTSD Flashbacks, Polyandry, foursomes, group sex.
All tags above will be in every chapter, in some form or another, unless otherwise specified.
A/N: John gives Eve tickets to Comic-con for her birthday and she decides she wants to go with Dean. Want more? For Sam x Eve, there’s Bound To You, and for John x Eve, there’s The Tie That Binds. All stories are interconnected so I would recommend reading them all.
If you want to be added to my taglists, send me a DM or an Ask. You can either be added per story or choose my SPN Forever Taglist and get tagged whenever I post something new.
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Liking is excellent; feedback and reblogs are appreciated a lot more.
Please don’t copy or edit and post my stories to this or any other site.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
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Chapter 5: Fuck Me Dean, You’re My Only Hope
Dean spends most of his morning at the office, going in and out of meetings with potential clients and doing shitloads of paperwork. The man takes a little break in between to pick up Eve’s Birthday gifts and passes by his regular coffee joint to pick up one of those cherry pie muffins. The ones he knows she loves so much after they shared one on the day Dean kissed her for the first time. With those errands out of the way, he heads back to the office.
Getting her a gift was relatively easy since she often forgot her Vogue magazine issues at his apartment. Sometimes she’d be reading them, snuggled against him on his bed, sighing at all the fabulous designer clothes and shoes her mom would never allow her to have. Or she could never afford it. Or both. She had expensive taste, and he didn’t mind buying it for her. Sam would never allow it because Joyce would kill him for spoiling her little girl, but they won’t be able to say no if he gives her designer stuff for her birthday.
There’s a knock on his office door, and Sam’s head pops around it.
“Heya Sammy.”
“Hey. You’re still coming tonight, right?”
Yeah, and hopefully this afternoon too.
“Yeah, of course, I wouldn’t want to miss it. Even going to bring the ‘All Saint’s Day’ DVD, for the extra scary Halloween movie night,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
If Sam rolled his eyes any harder, they would probably fall out of his head. Then his eyes land on the gifts, and he raises an eyebrow questioningly.
“You bought her designer clothes for her Birthday?”
“Yep, what about it?”
“Joyce is not going to like it very much.”
Now it’s Dean’s turn to roll his eyes. Joyce can go fuck herself, or better said, Dick Roman, which she was already doing behind Sam’s back.
“Dude, I don’t care. It’s a gift, and even Joyce can’t say no to something that’ll make her daughter super happy.”
“What did you get her?”
“You’ll see soon enough. Anyway, time to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight, Sammy.”
“Sure thing Dean.”
Dean decides to leave work earlier than planned to surprise Eve when she stops by for their daily fucking session. He parks his car and heads upstairs. As the man opens the front door, moaning reaches his ears. At first, he thinks she’s watching Porn, but as Dean makes his way to the bedroom and sneaks a look around the corner, he sees Eve and Annafucking. It is pure fucking Porn to watch because they’re in a scissoring position, each fucking one side of a double-sided dildo while they rub their clits, until the women both climax, moaning and screaming as they come.
He palms his erection, painfully aware of how hard he is. He watches how Eve pulls out the strap-on and the vibrating cockring and witnesses how Anna rails his girl until she comes. They’re about to switch positions again, Eve lining her fake dick up with Anna’s cunt, ready to fuck her with it when Dean audibly clears his throat. She looks at him, and all she says is:
“Hey Dee, you want to fuck me while I fuck her?”
She doesn’t have to tell him that twice. Within seconds he’s naked and on the bed behind her, his cock ready to go and wrapped. He watches as she slides into Anna, wrapping her hand around her throat, keeping her in place, while Dean lines his cock up with Eve’s entrance and slides into her slippery cunt from behind until he bottoms out, making Eve moan with pleasure. They fuck each other hard, finding the perfect rhythm, and soon enough, both Anna and Eve come together, and Eve’s orgasm drags Dean over the edge with them.
When Anna leaves, though not before passionately kissing Eve goodbye, Eve turns to Dean.
“How long were you…uhm…watching us?”
“Long enough to see you two coming all over that double dong. You know you could’ve called me, right? I’d be happy to get you off.”
“I know, but this was my personal little Birthday celebration.”
“Well, Happy Birthday to you, Sweetheart. Glad you had fun.”
“You want to have some more fun, Dee?” she whispers, her fingers teasing his cock lightly.
“Hmm…I thought you’d never ask,” he groans, biting his lip sensually.
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He parks his car in front of Sam and Joyce’s Halloween decorated house. As he walks up to the door and rings the bell, a death scream replaces the familiar sound Dean has grown accustomed to. It’s been different tones through the years, like a ghost, a laughing witch, and a demonic voice.
Sam opens the door, and they hug each other before Dean follows him into the house.
“So, where’s our Birthday Girl?” he asks, holding up the big bag with her presents.
“Upstairs, napping, I’ll go and wake her up.”
Of course, she’s napping. With the events of this afternoon and them having sex a few more times after that, she’s bound to be tired. He wasn’t even surprised because after she left, he watched the camera feed, and she and Anna had been very busy naughty girls.
She enters the living room, walking up to Dean, and he pulls her in for what he calls her Big Birthday Hug and then kisses the top of her head.
“Happy Birthday Kiddo.”
“Thanks, uncle Dean.”
“I brought you something,” he says, handing her the paper bag with the muffin in it.
She looks inside it and then up at him. “I love you.”
“I know.”
It’s a thing they started doing recently, which is what Han and Leia do in the movies. He kind of likes hearing her say I love you, but since it’s more of a movie quote than an actual I love you, it doesn’t freak him out as much. Plus, friends can love each other too. The doorbell rings, and Eve makes her way to the hall and answers the door. Dean can hear Crowley’s voice, telling her John sends his love and wishes her a wonderful evening. She comes back into the living room with a bouquet of eighteen luxury orange roses with an envelope attached. She has a blush on her face, and she’s biting her lip, pulling the card off the bouquet, and opening the envelope. Sam just finishes the phone call with the pizza place and rejoins them, a confused look on his face when he sees the roses.
“John sent them, Sammy.”
“Oh my God!”
“What is it, Kiddo?”
“It’s two tickets to Comic-con!” she squeals, absolutely delighted.
“That’s nice of John to give you that for your Birthday, Cuddle Bug.”
“Really? That’s cool. So, who are you taking with you, Kiddo?”
“Well, you, of course! Unless you don’t want to be the Han to my Leia or the Anakin to my Padme.”
“You sure you don’t want to go with Jamie Cuddle Bug?”
“Nope. I want to go with Dean.”
“Well, I’d be honored to accompany you.”
She turns to Sam. “Where’s Mom and Tuck?”
“They went to pick up your Birthday cake, and Jamie, they should be back soon.”
Not very long after that, Joyce, Tucker, and Jamie enter the house, and a few minutes later, so does the pizza delivery guy. They sit around, eating and having fun, and after Joyce and Sam take Tucker trick or treating around the neighborhood, Dean, Jamie, and Eve stay home, taking turns giving out candy to trick or treaters. Dean gives out the most, so Jamie and Eve can catch up a bit. In between a quiet moment, he hears them talking.
“So, how’s life in school without me?”
“Boring as hell, I’ll have you know. But I’ll survive. With the bitch-gang gone, my life has gotten a lot easier. How about you? Have you decided what you want to do yet?”
“Nope. I still have no idea, but it’s not important yet. First, I want to focus on myself, and maybe then I can think about what I want because I still have no clue.”
“You’ll figure it out. It’s still MIT for me once I graduate.”
“Well, I think they’re lucky to have you.”
“You know it!”
Slowly but surely, the amount of trick or treaters die down, and soon enough, Joyce, Sam, and Tucker are back. They bring out her Birthday cake, and it’s time for her to open her presents. Jamie gives her a friendship bracelet, telling Eve that they’ll always be together even if they aren’t together in school anymore. Her mom and Sam tell her that they’re paying for her license. Dean knows her well. Even if she is doing her best to hide her disappointment, the man can see she had hoped to get a car for a Birthday. Though what he’s giving her is not a car, Dean knows for sure that she is going to love it.
When it’s his turn, he gives her two gift-wrapped boxes. As she unwraps the big one, he can see her eyes growing big and her jaw dropping. He knows she wanted this two-piece suit for a while now, so he had asked one of John’s people to help track it down and buy it.
“You remembered?”
“Of course I did. You’re my favorite niece. Plus, you’re a woman now, and you deserve a gift to commemorate that. Now open the other one Kiddo.”
She does as she’s told and unwraps the smaller box, gasping at the contents of it.
“You also bought me Louboutins for my Birthday?”
“You like?”
“Like it? I love it! Thank you so much, Dean!”
“You’re welcome, Kiddo.”
He looks at Sam, who enjoys watching Eve be so excited over her gifts even though he’s not pleased with what they cost. Joyce, however, does not approve at all, but it’s a gift, and there’s nothing she can do about it. They eat some cake, and Joyce takes Tucker upstairs to bed so that the adults can start on their movie night. Dean brought along ‘All Saint’s Day,’ which is his favorite movie, and they settle on the couch with snacks and drinks.
“You don’t want to snuggle with me, Cuddle Bug?”
“Yeah, but I always snuggle with Dean when we watch ‘All Saints Day,’ it’s a tradition, you know.”
She snuggles up to Dean, covering herself with her blanket, and they watch the movie together. He looks around, and no one is paying attention to them, so he takes the chance and gently pulls her booty shorts and panties out of the way and starts rubbing her clit. She mewls softly, and he stops immediately, digging his nails into the globe of her ass, making her squirm. He gives her a look, and when she nods that she understands, he slides his fingers between her folds. Dean rubs her clit again in tiny lazy little circles until she comes silently, the only indication of that being her sensitive nub twitching under his fingers.
“Good Girl,” he whispers into her ear, brings his fingers to his lips, and sticks them in his mouth, tasting her.
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It’s the morning of Comic-con, and Dean is getting ready. He’s looking forward to going with his girl, even if he couldn’t get her to go in the slave Leia costume he wanted her to wear so much. Eve had given him one excellent reason why she didn’t want to wear it, and that was because she didn’t want to be continuously ogled and touched by perverts. According to Eve, the only perverts allowed to do that to her in that outfit would be him, Sam, and John. No one else.
He couldn’t say he disagreed with her assessment, so when Dean contacted his tailor and ordered a custom-made Han Solo costume, he ordered Eve the white Leia outfit she wore in A New Hope. Dean had asked if she wanted a wig with that, but she said she preferred to make the signature head buns with her hair.
Dean checks himself out in the mirror a few times, fixes his hair a bit, and when he’s satisfied, he heads for the kitchen, where he pours himself a cup of coffee. As he’s drinking it, Dean’s doing a mental check of the stuff he packed for the day, like drinks and snacks, making sure he’s bringing all her favorites. There’s one thing he’s still considering, and that’s taking the love egg with him, which is his favorite toy he loves using with her. It always makes her orgasms so much more intense.
“Fuck it, I’m bringing it,” he mutters to himself as he pulls the box out of his nightstand and sticks it in his backpack. Downing the remainder of his coffee, he heads downstairs to the Impala and drives to Eve’s house.
Once he’s there, he walks up to the front door and notices it’s ajar, so he enters the premises. He rounds the corner to the kitchen when he hears Sam say:
“I think that’s very sensible of you, Little Bug.”
“What’s sensible?” Dean asks, followed by: “Sorry, the door was open.”
He looks at her, admitting to himself that she looks adorable in that outfit, with her hair all done up in the Leia buns. She turns to him, her eyes wandering over his body, and she giggles. It wasn’t just any giggle, but the one that indicates that she’s aroused. He’s glad he brought the love egg with him.
“She’s sensible for not letting you convince her to go to Comic-con practically naked, Jerk.”
Eve rolls her eyes at them and stands up, grabbing her backpack and kissing Sam on the cheek
before she heads to the hallway, Dean following behind her.
“Have fun, Little Bug.”
“I will.”
Once they’re in the hallway, Dean looks at her, bringing his finger to his lips, indicating her to be silent, and takes the love egg from the box, handing it to her. She palms it and heads for the toilet, loudly stating she needs to pee before heading out. A few minutes later, he hears her flush, and she’s back in the hall with him. Before they leave, she hollers up the stairs:
“See you later, mom!”
“Have fun, Honey!”
The fun starts in the Impala on the way to the event and lasts throughout the day. Her first orgasm is ripping through her on the passenger seat inside of his car. Her second climax is while they’re browsing the dealer hall and scoring cool merch. He buys her a pair of thigh-high R2-D2 socks, together with a cute little matching necklace. The vendor thinks she’s squealing and giggling with delight because of the gifts Dean just bought, but it’s because she’s mid-orgasm. They take tons of photos, Eve desperately trying to keep a straight face while the toy is buzzing inside of her. They sit in on panels, and she finds a lot of hidden spots where she can come while they make out, moaning and mewling into his mouth, her body shuddering with every subsequent orgasm that the toy gives her until she can’t take it anymore and begs Dean to take her home so they can fuck.
He’s staring at the TV with the remote in his hand, wondering what he should play. On the one hand, he’s thinking about Porn; on the other hand, since they had such a good day, Star Wars comes to mind. He’s still contemplating what would be the best idea when he hears Eve clear her throat. Dean looks at her, and his cock hardens at the mere sight of her.
“Fuck me, Dean, you’re my only hope.”  
He says nothing, stands up, drops his boxers, and fists his massive erection, pumping it a few times, making it nice and hard for her. He’s thinking about getting a condom, but he just wants to know how her cunt feels. He wants to fuck her deep and slow and hard and experience feeling her, really feeling her. Eve will be the first woman in his entire life he’s going to fuck without a condom. He never did it before, and he always considered the condom acting as a sort of barrier to avoid getting attached to women, which kind of makes love sound like an STD. Dean doesn’t know why the desire to fuck her without one pops up now, but maybe it’s because of how fuckable she looks. Perhaps it’s the way she says I love you, but he needs this. Dean needs her.
She leans against the doorframe, and he positions himself behind her slightly, Eve lifting her leg and placing it on the other side of the door frame. Dean lines himself up with her entrance and pushes up into her, and he must focus because if he doesn’t, Dean will blow his load as soon as he bottoms out, which is not his plan. Positioning his hand under her thigh, supporting her, his other hand doing the same, but just around her hip. She feels incredible, so delicate and accommodating; he could swear her pussy is even softer than her skin. She doesn’t know he’s not wearing a condom, but he can hear by the way she moves and incessantly moans; she feels the difference too. He moves his hand from her hip to her cunt, rubbing her clit, and it only makes her moan louder.
“Look at me, Baby. Look at me,” he orders.
She obeys him, staring into his eyes, her mouth slightly open, strangled mewls escaping from her lips.
“That’s it, Artoo, be a good girl and cream all over my big fat cock for me. Come for me, Baby. Yeah, you’re almost there Sweetheart, give in to it with that tight little pussy of yours. I want to feel your cunt milking my cock dry, Baby Girl…”
He’s pretty sure the dirty talk sends her over the edge because she comes instantly, her pussy fluttering around his cock, the sounds escaping from her lips somewhere between gasps, moans, and squeals, her entire body quivering. Dean continues fucking her through her orgasm, thrusting into her just a bit harder and deeper until he can feel his balls tighten, burying his cock deep inside of her as he coats her walls with his come, his hips stuttering, and her name falling from his lips.
She lowers her leg, and he can see she is staring at his dick and the fact that he’s not wearing a rubber. He can’t help but smile at her confusion.
“I’m sorry, Artoo, I just really wanted to feel you. I can go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill, so I don’t knock you up if you want.”
“It’s okay, Dee; I’m on the pill.”
“Hmmm… good. Don’t move, Baby Girl, I got to take a photo of this.”
He grabs his phone off the bed, and she poses for him, as sexy as she can, cum still trickling down her thigh.
“Show me, Dee.”
She looks hot in that photo, and if he looks closely, he can see his cum trickling down his thigh.
“Can you send it to me, please?”
“Done, Baby Girl. Now, what do you want to watch?”
“Porn. Your Porn.”  
“Hmm… really? And then what?” he asks, groaning as he watches her move her hand between her legs, sliding her fingers through her folds, mewling as she does.
“And then, I want you to fuck me on every surface of your apartment and pump me full of cum. Every. Single. Time.”
“Hmmm… I’d love to Artoo.”
They make themselves comfortable on the bed, Dean leaning against the headboard, and Eve against him, draping her legs over his, so he can fuck her slowly from that angle. He presses play on the remote while Eve is impaled on his cock, and the Porn starts playing. It arouses her, but not as much as when she watches girl-on-girl stuff. He moves in and out of her slowly, feeling how she grinds down on him every time he thrusts up into her. His hand wrapped around her throat, and his fingers of his free hand slowly rubbing circles on her swollen nub.
The porn scene changes and the woman in it is being railed by the two guys. They spit-roast, Eiffel Tower, and facefuck her until cum comes out of her nose. Eve looks up at him with her big beautiful purple eyes and says:
“Please don’t ever do that to me.”
“I promise Artoo, you want to switch to your porn?” he asks, noticing this video is making her very uncomfortable.
She nods, flicking her tongue over his lips hungrily. He switches to her girl-on-girl stuff, and her entire demeanor changes. He can feel her relax against him, and as one of the girls on the screen climaxes, so do they. Dean must admit, he kind of enjoys her Porn because it’s sure as hell not made by men. No huge ass nails and angry fingering, but real hot sex like between Eve and Anna.
“Hmm… Artoo, I love your Porn; it makes me want to fuck you so much.”
“How much?” she whispers, biting her lip, touching herself again, grinding her cunt up against her fingers, moaning.
“Let me show you,” he says, picking her up from the bed and proceeding to fuck her on every surface in his apartment, making her come every single time, just like she asks, until they fall asleep on the bed, in each other’s arms, completely exhausted.
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                                                      Eve’s PoV
Her birthday fell on a Wednesday, and her mom had let her decide what she wanted to do, so she decided that she wanted a pizza night with scary movies and lots of candy. It was Halloween, after all. Of course, her mother invited Dean and Jamie over, and Eve was okay with that because she didn’t have many friends. But right now, Eve was planning her private celebration party at Dean’s apartment. Since she had graduated before the summer, she was free to do whatever she wanted. No one was home, so Eve didn’t have to say anything about her destination. She’d just have to make sure she’d be back in time for her birthday dinner.
She gets off the bus near Dean’s apartment building, and she can see Anna already waiting for her in front of it, near the entrance. She had stayed in contact with her, and let’s just say that when Claire landed herself a girlfriend and was no longer available, Anna had no problem helping her get off, and of course, Eve felt the same way.
As soon as they’re inside, out of the public eye, their horniness takes over. After making sure the apartment is empty, they undress, and both climb up on Dean’s bed. Anna lays on top of her, kissing her, and then makes her way down, playing with her nipples, licking, and sucking, teasing her relentlessly. She moves down even further until she reaches her cunt, and she can feel Anna’s tongue sliding through her folds, making her mewl with pleasure and moan when her tongue finally focuses on her clit. It doesn’t take Eve very long to come, and when she does, it’s her turn to go down on Anna.
She kisses her hungrily, tasting herself on Anna’s lips, licking, sucking, and nibbling her way down, playing with her tits and making her way down until she’s hovering above Anna’s dripping wet cunt. She slips her tongue through her folds and makes sure to tease her everywhere, except where Anna wants it most. Her fingers are working on Anna’s sweet spot, and when she flicks her tongue over her clit, making her hips buck up to meet her tongue, she looks at Anna, waiting patiently.
“Hmmm… Baby, please, I want to come in your mouth, please make me come all over your tongue.”
That is all Eve needs to hear. It doesn’t take long for Anna to climax, and much to Eve’s surprise, she squirts all over her hand.
“Hmmm, Baby, look what you made me do. Do you want to come some more? I brought a toy.”
Anna reaches into her bag, producing a big double-sided dong, and Eve can feel herself getting even wetter at the thought of them fucking that thing together. They lube up both sides and wriggle their way into a scissoring position, slowly impaling themselves on the dildo.
Though it’s a bit clumsy at first, they soon find a good rhythm, rubbing their clits until they climax together, the apartment filled with their moans and screams as they both come undone. They’re on a roll, so Eve reaches into Dean’s nightstand and pulls out the strap on Dean had bought for her. She hands it to Anna, but before she does, she slips her favorite cock ring on it, the built-in vibrator buzzing against her clit as the woman fucks her slowly until she’s coming again. They’re about to switch positions, Eve, ready to impale Anna on her big fake cock, when someone clears their throat.
She looks around to where the sound comes from, and she can see a very aroused Dean staring at her and Anna. She has no idea how long he’s been there, but she doesn’t care.
“Hey Dee, you want to fuck me while I fuck her?”
He doesn’t even answer her because, within seconds, he’s naked and on the bed behind her. She slides into Anna, wrapping her hand around her throat, keeping her in place, while Dean slides into her slippery cunt from behind. It’s feels fucking divine, and before they know it, the three of them climax together hard.
When Anna leaves, though not before passionately kissing Eve goodbye, Eve turns to Dean.
“How long were you…uhm…watching us?”
“Long enough to see you two coming all over that double dong. You know you could’ve called me, right? I’d be happy to get you off.”
“I know, but this was my personal little Birthday celebration.”
“Well, Happy Birthday to you, Sweetheart; glad you had fun.”
“You want to have some more fun, Dee?” she whispers, her fingers teasing his cock lightly.
“Hmm…I thought you’d never ask,” he groans, biting his lip sensually.
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She takes a nice shower back at the house and then lies down for a nap until Sam wakes her up.
“Hey Cuddle Bug, uncle Dean’s downstairs for you. You had a good nap?”
“I’m going to order pizza. You want your usual?”
“Yes, please,” she says, rubbing her eyes and stretching herself out. She rolls out of bed and follows Sam downstairs. She enters the living room, walking up to Dean, and he pulls her in for what he calls her Big Birthday Hug and then kisses the top of her head. She loves those hugs and kisses. And everything else.
“Happy Birthday Kiddo.”
“Thanks, uncle Dean.”
“I brought you something,” he says, handing her the paper bag.
She looks inside it, seeing the cherry pie muffin, and then up at him. “I love you.”
“I know.”
The thing is, she means it. She does love Dean, so, so very much. She knows the man doesn’t feel the same. At least not how she feels about him because he loves her as a friend, but using these quotes Han and Leia use, they at least allow her to express her feelings for him without the fear of being rejected.
The doorbell rings, and she lets go of him, making her way to the hall and answering the door.
She recognizes the man as John’s driver.
“Good evening, Miss Eve. Mr. Winchester asked me to deliver these to you; he sends his love and hopes you have a wonderful evening.”
“Oh wow, thank you for bringing them all the way here. They’re lovely.”
“Not a problem, Miss, enjoy your evening,” he says as he walks back to the car and drives off.
As she walks back into the living room, her bouquet in hand, she can’t help but think about how sweet John is to send her eighteen roses for her birthday, one for each year of her life. She sees the envelope that goes with the roses, so she bites her lip, wondering what’s in it. Eve pulls it off and opens it. As she does, Sam walks in, a confused look on his face when he sees the roses.
“John sent them, Sammy.”
“Oh my God!” she squeals, holding up two tickets in her hands.
“What is it, Kiddo?”
“It’s two tickets to Comic-con!” she squeals, absolutely delighted.
“That’s nice of John to give you that for your Birthday, Cuddle Bug.”
“Really? That’s cool. So, who are you taking with you, Kiddo?”
“Well, you, of course! Unless you don’t want to be the Han to my Leia or the Anakin to my Padme.”
“You sure you don’t want to go with Jamie Cuddle Bug?”
“Nope. I want to go with Dean.”
“Well, I’d be honored to accompany you.”
She turns to Sam. “Where’s Mom and Tuck?”
“They went to pick up your Birthday cake, and Jamie, they should be back soon.”
Not very long after that, Joyce, Tucker, and Jamie enter the house, and a few minutes later, so does the pizza delivery guy. They sit around, eating and having fun. After dinner, Joyce and Sam take Tucker trick or treating around the neighborhood, and Dean, Jamie, and Eve stay home, taking turns giving out candy to trick or treaters.
She must admit she misses Jamie a lot, though she didn’t miss school at all. Jamie had always been one year below her, meaning they had now started on their senior year.
“So, how’s life in school without me?”
“Boring as hell, I’ll have you know. But I’ll survive. With the bitch-gang gone, my life has gotten a lot easier. How about you? Have you decided what you want to do yet?”
“Nope. I still have no idea, but it’s not important yet. First, I want to focus on myself, and maybe then I can think about what I want because I still have no clue.”
“You’ll figure it out. It’s still MIT for me once I graduate.”
“Well, I think they’re lucky to have you.”
“You know it!”
Slowly but surely, the amount of trick or treaters die down, and soon enough, Joyce, Sam, and Tucker are back. They bring out her Birthday cake, and it’s time for her to open her presents. Jamie gives her a friendship bracelet, so even if they aren’t together in school anymore, they’ll always be together. Her mom and Sam tell her that they’re paying for her license. She a bit disappointed she’s not getting a car, but Eve thanks them anyway for their gift, trying to hide her disappointment as best as she can. Then it’s Dean’s turn, and he gives her two gift-wrapped boxes. As she unwraps the big one, she sees that the package has the Chanel logo on it. She opens it, and her mouth just drops. It’s the black Chanel two-piece suit she had been drooling over ever since she had seen it in one of her Vogue issues when she was over at Dean’s.
“You remembered?”
“Of course I did. You’re my favorite niece. Plus, you’re a woman now, and you deserve a gift to commemorate that. Now open the other one Kiddo.”
She does as she’s told and unwraps the smaller box, gasping at the contents of it.
“You also bought me Louboutins for my Birthday?”
“You like?”
“Like it? I love it! Thank you so much, Dean!”
“You’re welcome, Kiddo.”
She glances at Sam and her mom, and they don’t seem very happy with the super expensive gifts, but she doesn’t care. It’s a gift, and they can’t force him to take it back. They eat some cake, and Joyce takes Tucker upstairs to bed so that the adults can start on their movie night. Dean brought along ‘All Saint’s Day,’ which is his favorite movie, and they settle on the couch with snacks and drinks.
“You don’t want to snuggle with me, Cuddle Bug?”
“Yeah, but I always snuggle with Dean when we watch ‘All Saints Day;’ it’s a tradition, you know.”
She snuggles up to Dean, covering herself with her blanket, and they watch the movie together. She leans her head against his shoulder and relaxes into him. She feels his hand traveling down her back and pulling aside her booty shorts and panties, sliding through her folds, rubbing her clit. She mewls softly at the sensation, and he stops immediately, digging his nails into the globe of her ass, hard, making her squirm because it’s painful. He gives her a look, and she nods that she understands. He slides his fingers back between her folds, rubbing her clit once more in tiny lazy little circles until she comes silently all over his fingers.
“Good Girl,” he whispers into her ear as she watches him bringing his fingers to his lips and sticking them in his mouth.
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It’s the morning of Comic-con, and Eve is restless and excited. It’s not her first time going, but it is her first time going in costume. Dean had been badgering her to wear a slave Leia costume, but she had refused. She had nothing against wearing it, but Eve just didn’t want to be continuously ogled by perverts walking around the halls. The only perverts that would be allowed to lust after Eve are Dean, John, or Sam. Which she kind of mentioned, making him laugh.
Instead of the slave Leia, she had chosen the outfit Leia wore in A New Hope, The white one with the hair buns on each side of her head. She was already wearing the costume, and now, she was sitting patiently on a stool while her mom helped her fashion her hair into Leia’s signature hairdo.
“Close your eyes, Honey; it’s time to fix your hair,” she says, brandishing a can of hairspray.
Eve does as her mom tells her, and she can hear her mom walking around her, spraying her hair from all angles to make sure it stays put. With that done, she hops off the stool in front of her mom’s Vanity, heading downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Sam’s already sitting there sipping on his smoothie, and she likes how he’s looking at her.
“Wow, Cuddle Bug, you look amazing.”
“Sam,” she whines, “I’m not a kid anymore.”
“Oh right, right, sorry Little Bug, “he says with a grin, just staring at her, chewing on his bottom lip.
“I’m just surprised you’re not in a slave Leia costume like Dean was trying to get you to wear.”
“Yeah, well, I told him I didn’t want to be ogled and have my ass grabbed by pervs all day that don’t know cosplay is not consent. I know Dean will kick their asses if they even think about it, but I’d rather not have it happen in the first place.”
“I think that’s very sensible of you, Little Bug.”
“What’s sensible?” Dean says as he rounds the corner into the kitchen. “Sorry, the door was open.”
She giggles when she sees him in his Han Solo outfit, and she must admit he looks good.
“She’s sensible for not letting you convince her to go to Comic-con practically naked, Jerk.”
She rolls her eyes at their banter, stands up, grabs her backpack, which her mom had prepared for her with all sorts of drinks and snacks to help her get through the day, and she kisses Sam on the cheek before she heads to the hallway. Dean following behind her.
“Have fun, Baby Girl.”
“I will.”
Once they’re in the hallway, Dean looks at her, brings his finger to his lips indicating her to be silent, and takes the love egg from the box, handing it to her. She palms it and heads for the toilet.
“Oh Dean, I got to pee before I go. Give me a few minutes,” she shouts, making sure everyone hears her.
Inside the bathroom, she lowers the toilet’s lid, pulls up her dress, and drops her panties. She places one leg on the toilet bowl, and with no lube around, she slips the egg in her mouth, making it wet that way, before she pushes it up in her cunt with a soft little moan escaping from her lips. She pulls her panties back up and adjusts her dress, and when she’s sure she looks presentable, she flushes the toilet and rejoins Dean in the hall. Before they leave, she hollers up the stairs:
“See you later, mom!”
“Have fun, Honey!”
The fun starts in the Impala on the way to the event, where she comes the first time, and it lasts throughout the day. Her second climax is while they’re browsing the dealer hall and scoring cool merch. He buys her a pair of thigh-high R2-D2 socks, together with a cute little matching necklace. The vendor thinks she’s squealing and giggling with delight because of the gifts Dean just bought, but it’s because she’s coming so fucking hard she can barely keep it together. They take tons of photos, Eve desperately trying to keep a straight face while the toy is buzzing inside of her. They sit in on panels, and she finds a lot of hidden spots where she can come while they make out, moaning and mewling into his mouth, her body shuddering with every subsequent orgasm that the toy gives her until Eve can’t take it anymore and begs Dean to take her home so they can fuck.
She’s in his bathroom, and she snuck in the socks and necklace without him seeing it. She strips entirely, making sure she doesn’t mess up her hair, and slips on the socks and the chain, not forgetting to pull out the egg from her soaked and sensitive cunt.
Oh God, I hope he’ll like it.
She opens the door, and he’s sitting on the bed, fiddling with the remote in nothing but his boxers. She clears her throat, and he looks her way, his eyes drinking her in, a very naughty grin spreading on his face. She licks her lips and decides she can say what she had in mind.
“Fuck me, Dean, you’re my only hope.”  
He doesn’t reply; he just stands up, drops his boxers, and fists his massive erection, pumping it a few times. She leans against the doorframe, Dean positioning himself behind her slightly, Eve lifting her leg and placing it on the other side of the door frame. Dean lines himself up with her entrance, and pushes up into her, his hand under her thigh, supporting her, his other hand doing the same, but just around her hip. The angle he’s fucking her in feels fantastic, he feels incredible inside of her, and she just can’t stop moaning. Dean moves his hand from her hip to her pussy, and rubs her clit, making her mewl even louder.
“Look at me, Baby. Look at me,” he orders.
She obeys him, staring into his eyes, her mouth slightly open, strangled gasps and squeals escaping from her lips.
“That’s it, Artoo, be a good girl and cream all over my big fat cock for me. Come for me, Baby. Yeah, you’re almost there Sweetheart, give in to it with that tight little cunt of yours. I want to feel your cunt milking my cock dry, Baby Girl…”
It’s the dirty talk that pushes over the edge, making her come hard, her pussy fluttering around his cock, the sounds escaping from her lips somewhere between gasps, moans, and squeals, her entire body quivering. Dean continues fucking her through her orgasm until he comes as well, though it feels very different from all the times he fucked her before. When he pulls out of her, she can feel something trickling down her thigh, and when she lowers her leg, she can see Dean isn’t wearing a condom. He follows her gaze, and he grins.
“I’m sorry, Artoo, I just really wanted to feel you. I can go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill, so I don’t knock you up if you want.”
“It’s okay, Dee; I’m on the pill.”
“Hmmm… good. Don’t move Artoo; I got to take a photo of this.”
He grabs his phone off the bed, and she poses for him, as sexy as she can, cum still trickling down her thigh.
“Show me, Dee.”
She must admit she looks hot, and if you know, you can see Dean’s cum trickling down on the inside of her thigh.
“Can you send it to me, please?”
“Done, Baby Girl. Now, what do you want to watch?”
“Porn. Your Porn.”  
“Hmm… really? And then what?” he asks, groaning as he watches her move her hand between her legs, sliding her fingers through her folds, mewling. She knows he loves it when she touches herself like that.
“And then, I want you to fuck me on every surface of your apartment and pump me full of cum. Every. Single. Time.”
“Hmmm… I’d love to Artoo.”
They make themselves comfortable on the bed, Dean leaning against the headboard, and Eve against him, draping her legs over his, so he can fuck her slowly from that angle. He presses play on the remote while his cock is deep inside her, and the Porn starts playing. She’s not sure she likes his Porn. Yeah, it does sort of turn her on, but not like her own. She tries to focus on the girl moaning by closing her eyes for a bit, grinding down on his cock, and concentrating on how his fingers rub her clit. Still, it doesn’t help, and even though she is doing everything in her power to make it enjoyable, she doesn’t think she’s going to get a very intense orgasm watching this. She’s trying to avoid coming to this at all costs.
And then the scene changes. Eve watches the two guys rail the woman, and they spit-roast, Eiffel Tower, and facefuck her until cum comes out of her nose. She can’t help but look up at him.
“Please don’t ever do that to me.”
“I promise, Artoo. You want to switch to your Porn?”
She nods, flicking her tongue over his lips hungrily. He switches to her girl-on-girl stuff, and she instantly relaxes, and when one of the girls on the screen climaxes, so do they. She prefers female-friendly Porn or lesbian Porn made by actual lesbians. Not the stuff Dean likes to watch.
“Hmm… Artoo, I love your Porn. It makes me want to fuck you so much.”
“How much?” she whispers, biting her lip, touching herself again, grinding her cunt up against her fingers, moaning.
“Let me show you,” he says, picking her up from the bed and proceeding to fuck her on every surface in his apartment, making her come every single time, just like she asks, until they fall asleep on the bed, in each other’s arms, completely exhausted.
Chapter 6
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Tag list:
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shallow-gravy · a month ago
questions for an author
Tagged by @chyrstis, @nightwingshero, @xbaebsae, @p0lkadotdotdot and @shellibisshe thank you! 💖
I’ve seen this making the rounds but I’ll send some tags out to @adelaidedrubman, @ohfaiths, @trashcatsnark, @electriicfleur, @tiesthatbind1899, @lilwritingraven, @galadrieljones, @consumedkings and @vasiktomis
Name: Jess
Top 5 Fandoms Written: really just Red Dead Redemption 2 and Far Cry 5 and a dash of Witcher 3. And I guess I did start writing a Fallout 4 fic like 5 years ago but it was gross and bad lmao
Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: hmmmmm this is tough. I think it would be fun to explore more in the Fallout universe since those games were a huge influence on my younger self, but honestly some day I’d love to continue working on my Red Dead / Witcher 3 epic horse girl crossover
Stories You Wish More People Knew About: oh uh geeze uhhh can I say my friends’ stories?
Ship(s) Written The Most: Arthur Morgan and my oc Wilhelmina, John Seed and my oc Diana. And a dash of Sharky Boshaw x reader
Character(s) Written The Most: sksjd see above.
How Many OCs Do You Have: technically...7?Willa and her brother Everett, Clifford Bailey and Sam Bellefleur are all oc’s from my story Blackbird’s Song. Diana is my oc from Death and the Maiden. Aaaaand there’s an old OLD Batman oc and a slightly less old Fallout 4 oc
How Many Series Do You Have: Technically only two long fics, Blackbird’s and DatM, and then there’s an Arthur Morgan x female reader series called By The Light of the Moon. And the overly ambitious Red Dead / Witcher 3 crossover fic Far From Home
What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In?: feel immense guilt over not finishing them and proceed to do nothing about it
Coming Soon: more Death and the Maiden because I am a one trick pony babyyyyyy
Line From A WIP:
She makes it about half a stride before his arm locks around her waist like one of those long canes in the old cartoons emerging to yank her, like Bugs or Daffy, clear off the stage.
It takes Diana by surprise and she unwittingly does half his work for him, clotheslining herself with her own forward momentum while John attempts to haul her back around with that surprising strength.
“Diana—fuck’s sake—listen to me-!”
Do You Accept Prompts?: absolutely I will always try my hand, sometimes I even work up the nerve to post a list but anyone can throw things at me at any time 🥺
How Do You Feel About Kudos?: kudos are great, comments are better but just to know anyone is reading my trash at all makes my heart swell three sizes so
Do You Read Fic As Well?: oh hell yeah brother!!! There are so many incredibly talented authors here I only wish I had the brain space to read m o r e
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100 good questions to ask your friends at 4:02 am when you can’t sleep (can also function as an asks list)
Are you bothered by your cosmic insignificance? Maybe just a little bit
Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known? I mourn for the college experience I didn’t quite manage to have, and for the utopian life from the end of The Good Place that is impossible to get in real life
Do you really think there is somebody for everybody? Hopefully
Do you place any value in gender roles? Anyone can do whatever they want but I do associate some things with gender
Do you have to be related to be family? I don’t consider non-relatives my family
Are your platonic relationships just as valuable as romantic or family ones? I have always put a lot of weight on romantic relationships
Are you in love? Do you want to be? Not quite but I want to be
Do you think you can put love into categories (family, platonic, romantic, etc.) or is it just one general sensation? I can put it into categories
Would you be happy with a life without romance? No
Are you always going to be a little in love with somebody? Yes, probably Captain and Candy Cane
Would you change your appearance if you could? Yes, but not surgically
Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.? I feel like I could have had a different life experience if I was born a decade or two sooner
Do you believe in reincarnation? No but I wish I did, there are definitely things I want a second chance at
Would you want to be reincarnated? Yes
Do you think you’re special, or just another person amongst billions? Can you be both? I would like to be special but probably not
Do theoretical ethical debates have any value? Is it important people discuss ethical dilemmas, e.g. the trolley problem? Yes, they are interesting and can often lead to real-life scenarios
Did you have imaginary friends? Do you still have them? I did when I was a kid. I still like to make up characters but I don’t consider them imaginary friends
Are you religious? Do you think your religion is ‘correct’? I am not religious, and I think it is most likely that there is no god or spiritual force
If you aren’t religious, do you wish you were? Why? I don’t really wish I were but sometimes I can understand the desire to believe your life will have a guaranteed happy ending
Do you want a grand adventure? Yes
Do you have somebody, whether it be a friend or stranger, who you think you could have loved if the circumstances were different? Yes
How long does it take you to fall in love with somebody?Is the sensation of ‘falling in love’ or ‘being in love’ better? I’m not sure where exactly like turns into love, and I have never experienced being in love in a relationship
Is love about convenience or something more? Can it be about both? It would have to be about more than just convenience
Do you think you really understand your gender and sexuality? I have not really questioned it much. I am a cis girl and I am happy being a girl, but I think if I were born a boy I would probably be happy being a boy too. I am mostly straight but maybe just a little bit bi, although I don’t think I would have romantic feelings for a girl
How fluid is your concept of gender and sexuality? Not too fluid but idk
What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far? Probably where to go to college
Are you afraid of growing old? Yes
Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? I think I would get tired and lonely living forever, but a few centuries would give me enough time to try things
Do you believe in some form of god/s? No
Are your choices fated or of your own free will? Free will
Do you have a hunch about how you’re going to die? Lately I’ve been fearing dying of covid, but hopefully not
Do you believe in star signs? No
How old do you have to be to be considered an adult? Legally 18, socially probably like 30
Was your childhood happy? I think so
What are you missing from your life? A passion
Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? Not any more so than regular friends
Do opposites attract? Not really
Is your life what you expected it would be five years ago? No, even if you take out the pandemic I still thought I would be doing something interesting with my career
Do you know what you want out of life? No
What makes a person ‘good’? Are you a ‘good person’? I guess if they help people? I would not necessarily say I am a very good person but I think I am more good than bad
What fundamentally matters do you? Love and fun
Is freewill an illusion? Not spiritually, but maybe capitalistically
Do you create art? How do you define art? I make jewelry and other crafts, and videos. Art is stuff that is there to be entertaining or beautiful, rather than just utilitarian
How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful? I rarely lie and I usually disapprove of lying but in some cases it can be ok
Do you want to be remembered after your death? What for? Something I create
Is true world peace ever possible? Idk. Not looking like it
Do you have to suffer to truly understand the human condition? What is the human condition? How can you really experience it? Who the fuck knows. Everyone experiences things differently, even if you suffer the same thing
Are you free? Will you ever be? Can anyone be truly free? I am legally free but not free of capitalism
Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yes
What do you expect from a friend or partner? Someone with a sense of humor who is easy to talk to, and romantic for a partner
What question could you ask to find out the most about a person? No idea
Do you justify all your beliefs or have you just inherited/absorbed some? I’m sure I have abosrbed some
Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong? Idk maybe still supporting Harry Potter even though I don’t agree with JK Rowling’s anti-trans beliefs
Can human really understand the complete nature of the universe, space and time? No
Is a conscious what makes someone a person? Probably
What do you think about artificial intelligence? It’s kinda cool but I don’t understand how it works
Do you thinks humans are obsessed with escapism (books, video games, movies, etc.)? Are you looking for an escape? Do you think that’s a bad thing? Yes but it’s not a bad thing
Are we eventually going to ‘run out’ of new combinations for music, art, language, etc.? Is there a limit to human creativity? I doubt it
What do you think the next era of music will be like? Who knows, I barely even listen to this era
What do you think the next era of fashion will be like? Masks will be incorporated into it
Do we live in tumultuous times, or do they just seem so strange because we’re living in them? It’s hard to say
Would you want to meet a clone of yourself? Would you like them? No, and I probably wouldn’t
How confident are you, really? Not very
How consistent is your perception of time? Not very
What age should people be allowed to vote? Should children and teenagers be allowed to vote? 18 is probably a good age, I think it’s hard to make an informed decision as a kid. I know I would either want whoever my parents wanted or whoever was more attractive
How do you feel about the idea ‘an eye for an eye’? Probably not a good idea in general
What’s the worse thing a person can be? A murderer
How do you feel about monogamy? I would like to have it
Can you be in love with someone and still fall in love with someone else? Probably
What’s the tragedy of your life? Losing all my potential
Would your life make a good play? No it would be hella boring
Should people be prosecuted for crimes that weren’t considered crimes at the time? No
Would you fight for your country? Do you feel a sense of loyalty to your nation? I feel some loyalty I guess because it’s home, but I would not fight
Do you believe in gender equality in every aspect? I believe in equal opportunities but not forcing people to act a certain way
Do we have a moral obligation to care for others? To what extent? I think as a society we need to take care of people and probably set up government resources to do so, but the specific people who do that should be the ones who feel fulfilled by it
Do you crave approval and/or praise? Yes
Is there comedy in all tragedy and tragedy in all comedy? Idk
Are you ever going to be satisfied? I hope so but knowing me, probably not
When you are sad, do you listen to music that conveys your emotions or music that makes you happy? Music that conveys my emotions
Is your music organised by mood or sensation or do you just listen to everything at any time? Most of the time I just shuffle it but I do have some playlists
Would you marry a friend if they needed you to (e.g. for citizenship)? Probably not
Are you a deep person? Eh
Given the chance to live your life on Mars, with no hope of returning to Earth but with the promise of scientific discovery and glory, would you take it? Not unless there was already an established society on mars with opportunities for entertainment and community interaction
Are you who people think you are? Not really. I think I am more extroverted than people think (even though I’m really an ambivert), and a lot of people think I should do sales or customer service which I hate even though I’m ok at them
Do you think you would be happier if you had been born a different gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, nationality or religion? I might be happier if I was a boy, but only if I was an outgoing boy. And I might be happier if I was in one of those happier-on-average countries
What’s your toxic trait? Are you trying to improve yourself and fix it? My toxic traits are stubbornnes, procrastination, and lack of motivation, which are by nature extremely hard to work on
Do you anger easily? Maybe a little but I also let go of it easily
Are you a jealous person? Yes
If you lost all your memories, would you have the same personality? I assume not
Given the chance to reset your life (with none of the knowledge you currently have), would you take it? Maybe
Is hate as strong as love? Who do you hate? No. I hate Mitch McConnell
Do you speak multiple languages? Which do you dream in? What language would you want to learn? I only speak a little french and italian, I am not fluent. I dream in English. I might want to learn Gaelic
Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them? Sometimes I draw meaning
How would you describe yourself when you love? Do you love forcefully, unconditionally, gently, quietly, desperately? Probably desperately lol
Is unrequited love real love? I think so
Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? Idk
Are you overly analytical? Yes
Do you ever feel that you are really a terrible person, and only act good out of societal or some other obligation? Occasionally
Do you believe in magic? Are you superstitious? No, but I wish it was real
What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in? That I’ll end up with an interesting or exceptional life. Idk if I firmly believe it but I would like to believe it, because the alternative is depressing
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scarletarosa · a month ago
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One of the demonic gods who serves in High King Lucifer’s kingdom. This information was shared to me by Mephisto and learned through my experiences in working with this fascinating infernal deity.
Other names: Mephisto, Father of All Sophists
Rulerships: persuasion, contracts, and all branches of Law
History: Mephisto began as an Angel serving under the Archangel of justice, Tzadkiel. In the beginning, Mephisto took his work too seriously with regards to bringing justice and became obsessed with delivering it as a prosecutor. When he eventually saw many angels of mercy going against this, he did not understand. If a person had done a crime that required retribution, why would this person be granted another chance? Every person, no matter how low or high they are, must pay for their mistakes. This of course included Mephisto himself, as he did not wish to be exempt from justice. The angels of mercy interfered seldomly at first, but as time went on, they began forgiving larger and larger numbers of people. So while Mephisto was prosecuting some humans, the angels of mercy would set them free. 
Irritated, Mephisto complained to Tzadkiel about this, but the Archangel smiled and said everything was okay. Even more agitated by this response from his commander, these frequent actions of forgiveness towards injustice began to eat away at Mephisto. He also began wondering what his purpose even was anymore since many of those he tried to punish were set free. Because of this, he gradually learned how to make his arguments against people much more convincing so the angels of mercy could not show forgiveness. At some point, Mephisto even began to falsify evidence in order to have some corrupt humans convicted. This went on for a while until Tzadkiel discovered what was happening. Mephisto was then called to give an apology before his commander who then said that “According to the Law, you should be condemned for what you have done. But I forgive you.” However, this action only made Mephisto even more cynical towards justice. He then realized that it’s not your actions that convict you, but whoever happens to be judging you. 
This deeply shook Mephisto’s faith in what he did, so out of spite, he trained a group of humans in ancient Greece to become the Sophists, the first lawyers of history. These people were experts in logic, speech, and entrapment. They gave their services to anyone who paid them a large sum of money, regardless of who their client was. Mephisto had created this particular justice system as a way to have anyone stand a chance in court, even criminals. He had decided that If the angels of mercy were freeing criminals as they pleased, he will have it done in a dishonourable way as an act of spite against celestial justice.
When this was found out, Mephisto was commanded to put an end to the Sophists. But Mephisto replied, “If you all cannot agree with what justice is, neither can I”. Eventually, Mephisto used one of his Sophists to prosecute Socrates over the accusation that he was “corrupting the youth” for being a voice of wisdom. The philosopher was then sentenced to prison and died there after committing suicide. Mephisto was then called forward before Tzadkiel and other Angels to explain himself once again for his actions, but he refused to yield to them, saying “Well where were you? What did you do to protect him? You allowed this noble man to die for no reason. If I was in the wrong, you would have done something; but if I were in the right, it would still cause you to act due to how much you cared for him.” 
Even though he was correct in his statement, this argument targeted his entire chain of command, which did not go over well. They told him to recant (take back what he said) and then they would demote him. But due to his pride, Mephisto refused to allow either, especially since he proclaimed to be doing his job exactly as he needed to be. Mephisto then left heaven and was later recruited into Hell by one of the three High Kings- Lucifer, who gave him the task of a demonic lawyer for the humans of Earth. Mephisto still remains cynical and doesn’t believe in justice anymore. He now only believes in the “justice” a person can buy and also favours making contracts.
Rank: President and Earl
Elements: Strife and Junction
Colours: black with a “v” shape of white (similar to a judge’s outfit)
Appearance: a tall man in his 30’s with pale skin, neck-length black hair, completely black eyes, and black horns (he sometimes does not manifest these). He often wears a judge’s outfit, despite being a lawyer.
Personality: Mephisto is serious, confident, meticulous, determined, astute, shrewd, relentless, patient, intelligent, studious, and is a smooth-talker and master of persuasion. He is a realist with regards to many things and views how plenty of things people view as “moral” are ridiculous (especially Christian values). Mephisto especially hates people who are naïve or tell the truth all the time, even moreso if they feel they are “pure” because of these actions. He claims that lying often has many necessary uses, and being honest all the time only causes problems. Some things that Mephisto likes are innovation, robotics, defending peoples’ rights (as a lawyer), ravens, magpies, the Tower of London (due to all the atrocities that took place here), the backgammon game, classical music, and collecting books.
To understand Mephisto better, one can read the three Faust plays that have been written. All three versions of the Faust story are true accounts of Mephistopheles to a degree, but are a bit dramatized of course. All three versions manage to be true because they are each different perspectives on the account which occurred. For example, Faust did indeed try to repent for making a deal with Mephisto, but he still went to Hell for an appointed period before being set free.
Things he can help with: anything law-related, contract deals, helps in making someone a good lawyer, helps in making someone persuasive
His Enn (for devotion or meditation): Mephisto Viaga Tasa On Ca Sedi
Offerings: sarsaparilla, dry red wine, smoked trout, veal, duck, foie gras, pork tenderloin, eggs, spaghetti, neapolitan pizza, strawberries, figs, apricots, pears, melons, grapes, honeycombs, eggplants, brussel sprouts, oyster mushrooms, ground coffee, dark chocolate, licorice bars, tobacco, law books, canes, votive candles, classical music, candlesticks, rosewood, mahogany, leopardskin jasper, smoky quartz, brown obsidian, and incense of musk + lemon + cinnamon
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Prompt: Arcturus at the birth of Sirius
November 3, 1959
"Pacing like a madman isn't going to make this go by any faster, boy."
Orion—dutiful as always—only nodded at the pointed remark from his father, eliciting a light sneer from the patriarch.
Honestly—not a hint of anger, nor even frustration at the jibe. Arcturus almost savoured the day when his son would finally tell him what he truly thought of him, but, rather like the boy Walburga was currently bringing into the world—it was slow to come.
As always, all the men of the black family were gathered in the drawing room, smoking cigars and drinking brandy. Cygnus was looking positively sloshed, no doubt because this boy that was being born was meant to remedy his own mistake in siring only daughters. Alphard was as inscrutable as always, damned vagabond. Pollux was red-cheeked and merry, oblivious to his son's misery, puffing on his cuban with the utmost gusto.
This was what was left of the Black Family.
He was starting to see some truth to all his grandfather's curmudgeonly ranting.
Orion's pacing grew all too wearisome after a few more minutes, and Arcturus found himself at his limit.
"By Salazar, boy—sit down!"
Orion turned to him, a shocked look on his face before acqueiscing. Arcturus didn't fail to notice the tense jaw.
Good. Let the boy stew a bit more—only a matter of time before he finally grew a spine.
The occasion was bittersweet for Arcturus. On the one hand, Orion's marriage to his abominable cousin finally producing something of worth was cause for celebration—on the other, it showed just how far the Black family had fallen.
All their hopes hinged on an infant boy—it was difficult not to be bitter about the fact. And with his brother Regulus's death just a few months before, it had put the Black patriarch in a foul mood that hadn't ceased since. Only Melania knew how to navigate his temper now, and even her subdued manner grated every now and then.
As if on cue, the aforementioned woman burst into the drawing room, dress slightly disheveled and bags under her eyes speaking of tiredness.
His poor wife—to have to manage twenty-seven hours of Walburga's screeching. He would get her a gift one of these days—perhaps that rare orchid she was eyeing when they went to Nott Manor. She'd never said much about it, but Melania didn't say much about anything. One had to read between the lines with her, and even then the woman's emotions were as mysterious as the day was long.
"A boy, dear—practically perfect in every way!" She beamed, then walked over to where Orion sat, shell-shocked at the news, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Well," Arcturus groaned as he stood—one of these days he might very well need a cane, his leg had been killing him these last few months. "Best not dawdle—let's go see my grandson, Orion. Unless, you wish for me to wait until after you've seen him first?"
Orion turned to him, then after a moment's hesitation, shook his head deferentially. "Of course not, father—you're more than welcome to see him with me."
For God's sake boy, anything! Call me miserable, tell me I'm a bastard, one sign of dissent to show you've a man's spine!
Rather than voice this, Arcturus merely harrumphed in dissapointment and followed Orion out of the drawing room, all the way up the stairs. The walk was—like much of their meetings—silent and uncomfortable, punctuated by the mutterings of the portraits as they went by.
Reaching the door of the room Walburga was in, Orion dallied for just a second before finally collecting himself and opening the door.
When they entered, Walburga was quite obviously miffed with her husband for allowing his decrepit old father to push him into coming along with him. Honestly, you'd think he was still in the nursery sometimes, yanking on his father's pant-leg for the slightest bit of attention!
"Orion," she greeted, smiling in a manner best described as murderous. She turned her flinty gaze to the elder. "Arcturus."
"Walburga," Arcturus nodded back. "I'm here to see my grandson. Or do you intend to hide the boy away forever?"
Her eyes narrowed, giving her smile an even more brittle quality to it. "Certainly not. Please, Arcturus," she emphasized the name, shooting her husband a glare for good measure, "Come meet our son."
Orion approached her warily, as if she were Mephistopheles himself, whilst Arcturus had no such compunctions and walked forward confidently to the bed.
When he caught sight of the boy, he smiled.
Black hair, aquiline nose, grey eyes—A perfect Black specimen. Perhaps Walburga wasn't the worst choice for Orion—Nightmare she may have been, she had little of the Crabbe looks aside from her eyes appearing blue in a certain light. Orion, on the other hand, looked more a Macmillan than some of his cousins who actually bore the name. Their son was a testament to Black genetics—bearing the name on both sides, as well as the looks.
Arcturus nodded, an approving gleam in his eyes as he took in his first grandson. "The boy's every inch a Black. Fine job, the both of you. You especially, Orion."
Walburga looked mightily offended at Orion being given extra commendations, seeing as how she'd just spent twenty-seven hours bringing the newest black heir into the world—but her husband either didn't notice or didn't care as he stuttered over his thanks for his father's first compliment in what must've been five years.
"Thank you, father." Orion turned back to the boy, all his focus on his son, and a smile that could be called tender growing on his face. "He's perfect, Walburga."
Her face softened at that, and she even allowed herself a small smile at her husband. "Would you like to hold him?"
Orion nodded, gleefully, before taking hold of his son as if he were made of the most delicate china in the world. He gazed down at the boy lovingly, smiling like a madman at every coo and fuss that came from the boy as if he couldn't believe he were real.
"What will you name him?" Arcturus asked, breaking his son out of his downright womanish fussing after allowing him a generous amount of it.
Orion's smile grew larger, if anything, and he stared up at Arcturus hopefully.
"Sirius," Orion said, and Arcturus felt as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over his head. "For my grandfather."
"You didn't even know your grandfather," Arcturus said, half an accusation. Orion heard the harsh tone and flinched, caught completely blindsided.
"I meant to honour him," Orion replied, nervously.
"If you'd known him, you'd know he wasn't a man to honour or emulate in the least." Arcturus fired back, an anger and resentment he'd stewed over since he was nine years old bubbling to the surface.
"Orion meant it for your father," Walburga said, each word coming out through gritted teeth. "But I was the one who chose it—and I had your great-uncle in mind."
Arcturus blinked. "Ah, well then I suppose it's not too," he shifted his feet, uncomfortably, "bad a choice. Let me see Sirius then, Orion—or do you mean to hog him forever?"
Orion, snapping out of his hurt, nodded fervently and placed the boy into his father's arms, hovering over his back as if anticipating his fall.
Arcturus evaluated the boy closer, and he saw it—those eyes. Black they were, but he could see the impudence in them from a mile away. The baby, oblivious to his grandfather's test, reached up and yanked a hair off his mustache.
Orion rushed forward and took the baby out of his incensed grandfather's arms, hushing its giggles as if worried his father would take even more offense to them.
"Impertinent little—," He sighed, running a hand over his face.
"Father, I—"
"It's not a problem, Orion," Arcturus replied, spitting out every word with the utmost venom. "I'd only suggest watching the boy in future—there's an impudence there that I like not."
Orion looked at Arcturus as if he'd grown two heads, but nodded. Walburga, in the corner, looked to be trying to muffle a fit of cackles with her pillow.
Impertinent whelp.
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Survey #326
“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”
When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.
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myaekingheart · a month ago
129. Sick of It
read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >
I ran away from you, I took everything Facing the day I turned my back Just the way you showed me I'd say I've changed so you're right And you've stayed the same I stepped away from you I won't be coming back -Sick of It, Evans Blue
               Rei loomed over the sink, eyes tired and arm aching with each vigorous motion of her toothbrush. Her gums tingled and her throat clenched—her gag reflex always was a little too strong. Foamy toothpaste dribbled down her chin, making her look much like a dog with rabies.
               Rubbing his eyes, Kakashi yawned and leaned against the doorway, watching her with heightened intrigue. When she spat into the sink, he caught sight of a few tendrils of blood mixed within her spit. The corner of his lips tugged upwared in a small smirk. “Have all those years of skipping out on brushing finally caught up with you?” he jested, inching nearer.
               Rei wiped the excess toothpaste from her mouth with the back of her hand, grimacing at him. “Have all those years of being a pain in the ass finally caught up with you?” she snapped. The malice in her tone caused Kakashi to retract, pursing his lips and averting his eyes. He had no idea what was with her lately, but it seemed that every day she grew more and more abrasive. At first he merely chalked it up to the stress of her job, but that excuse was becoming more fragile with each passing day. He hadn’t done anything to warrant such attacks in the first place and quite frankly, he was starting to get tired of it.
               The sad, defeated look on his face was a stark reminder of just how harsh her words had been. Rei’s face softened, a sigh breaking past her lips. “Fuck, Kakashi, I-I’m sorry…” she murmured, dropping her eyes to the ground. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, I just…I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, I don’t know.”
               He didn’t think that was much of an excuse but he could tell that her remorse was genuine. “What’s the matter?” he asked. His eyes slowly drifted up from the floor to look at her, her face filled with forlorn panic. For a moment, he was afraid she was about to cry. He inched nearer, took her hands in his. “Rei, what’s going on?”
               Rei squeezed his hands gently, tried to organize her thoughts into something comprehensible. “It’s about my parents. I just…I think I finally need to tell them about my promotion” she finally explained, voice quiet and methodical.
               “Oh…” Kakashi murmured. With a groan, Rei pressed her forehead against his bare chest.
               “I’ve just…I know I’ve been putting this off for way too long” she continued. “And it’s because I’m honestly fucking terrified. I don’t know how they’re going to react, but I know it won’t be good. I wish I didn’t have to say anything at all, and I know I could technically get away with that, but…it just doesn’t feel right. And the longer I wait, the more stressed out I get. I just…I need to let them know, Kakashi.”
               “I know” Kakashi replied, gently rubbing her forearm. “I think you’re doing the right thing” he continued. “You can’t hide it from them forever.” He hated to think of how they would react should something happen to her in the line of duty. Not only would they be heartbroken that their daughter was injured—or worse, killed (Kakashi couldn’t bear the thought)—but they certainly wouldn’t be too pleased to know that she had withheld such vital information from them, too.
               Rei sighed and nodded against his chest, hugging him tight for a moment longer. She truly did appreciate his support, but if only that were enough to lessen her anxiety. It was her day off and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to relax until she met with her parents and organized how she wanted to go about this. Of course, she knew she wouldn’t be able to relax after the fact, either, but at least she would get things over with. At least they would know. Toshio sidled up beside her, nudging her hand in solidarity and licking at her fingertips, and Rei felt grateful that she wouldn’t have to do this alone.
                The walk to the bookshop gave Rei ample time to think and consider how she wanted to go about this. A blunt and immediate delivery would be too abrupt—she needed to wade through this carefully, to ease them into it so that the announcement would be less of a shock.
               As she turned the corner, she caught sight of an unusually large crowd congregating outside Kaminoki. She recounted the dates in her head, trying to pinpoint whether there was an anticipated new release, but then it hit her: it was the final week of May. Every year during this time, Kaminoki hosted an inaugural used book sale to welcome the summer months. Many students had been assigned summer reading lists by their teachers so she bookshop saw more traffic than usual and, in the interest of money, of course Yuruganai had no other option but to take advantage of the opportunity.
               The crowd was thick and rowdy with small children weaving through clusters of disgruntled adults and shrieking with laughter. There was no way Rei could fight her way inside. Her parents would probably be far too busy to deal with her, anyway. She would just have to come back some other time.
               As she slowly turned on her heels, Toshio took hold of the hem of her dress and tugged hard. A growl rose up from deep within his chest, primal and demanding. Rei gasped and stared down at him in confusion. “Toshio, what the fuck?!” she exclaimed. A few tight-laced mothers shot a warning glare to watch her language. Try as she might, Rei could not manage to break free of the dog’s grip. The more she protested, the harder he pulled until she heard a brief ripping sound and noticed the hem of her skirt beginning to tear. “Alright, alright, fine! You win” Rei muttered under her breath, defeated. She swatted Toshio off of her with a frown. “But next time, use less damaging methods” she warned. Toshio grinned as he guided her through the crowd, clearly far too pleased with his success.
               The chaos only amplified inside the store. Rei clung to Toshio’s collar as he guided her toward the register, her anxiety rising in the back of her throat. Hana met her daughter’s tense gaze for a brief moment, affording her a small but frantic smile as she handed another book off to an impatient customer. Meanwhile, Toshio invited himself behind the counter and dug into one of the wicker organizer baskets in which Hana kept a small jar of dog biscuits. He figured it was only right to treat himself. After all, he was doing a stupendous job of being a very good boy.
               Once she had a moment to breathe, Hana turned to her daughter to exchange knowing glances. This was one of many things that Rei did not miss about the bookshop—she could never keep up with the demands of such unruly customers. She could tell her mother was clearly frazzled and tired, her low ponytail in disarray and her apron laying crooked. Rei would have to make this quick—not that that was the worst thing in the world.
               “I hope you’ve come to help out” Hana chuckled, though she knew the chance was slim.
               “Actually, I came to ask you something” Rei replied. She could sense an irate customer stalking up behind her, the threat of a complaint ready to burst forth from his mouth. Before he could even make a sound, Rei reached behind the counter to grab a copy of The History of Ninjutsu and slapped it firmly in his hands before turning him around and giving him a light shove toward the door. Hana opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. When Rei whipped back around, a sour smile touched her lips as she abruptly asked, “Cane we meet up for dinner sometime this week?”
               Hana blinked, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to form a response. Finally, she croaked, “O-of course.”
               “Alright, great” Rei replied, clapping her mother hard on the shoulder. “Kakashi and I will be over at 6:30pm on Wednesday night. See you then.” Before Hana could even utter a response, Rei whipped around and booked it out of the store, abandoning her mother in the overwhelming chaos.
               Rei sucked in a sharp breath as she stepped out into the street. She never realized how suffocating confrontation was until she was at the tail-end of it, separated from the crowds and the deafening white noise. She clung to Toshio as he led her home, at least taking comfort in knowing that should her jelly-legs falter beneath her, he would catch her without a moment of hesitation.
               Wednesday night came far too quickly for Rei’s comfort. Kakashi had hoped that having a plan in place would alleviate some of her stress, but instead it only seemed to amplify it. He watched as she stood in front of their bedroom mirror pinching her sides and sucking in her gut as she cycled through five different outfits.
               “Do you think my mom is going to tell me I’m fat?” Rei suddenly asked. Kakashi blinked, trying to comprehend where the question even came from. She glanced at him, recognizing his unsettled confusion, and elaborated. “I just don’t want her to think I’m getting fat and make a remark on it or, I don’t know, eye whatever is on my plate and get all judgy.”
               “Why?” Kakashi asked. He didn’t see Hana as the type of make such abrupt comments. “Do you think you’re fat?”
               The question was apparently not the proper one to ask. Rei shot him a fierce glare then as she spat back, “Do you?”
               Sighing, Kakashi shook his head. “No, Rei, I do not think you’re fat.” He was constantly amazed and perplexed at how lately she could manage to weaponize anything and everything he said. His mind was beginning to grow raw with her constant ire. Just one more night, Kakashi thought to himself. One more night and then we’ll find some relief.
               The one thing Rei was actually looking forward to in all of this was her mother’s cooking. Not that Kakashi was a terrible cook—not at all—but she missed the warm comfort meals of her childhood, and the luxury of knowing that she was not responsible for anything. Her mother had a certain magic to her in the kitchen. She had a way of making anything taste good, even from the most unappealing ingredients. A housewife extraordinaire, even. Tonight of all nights, she made one of Rei’s favorites: subuta.
               Hana, Yuruganai, and even Grandma Teiko eyed Rei carefully as she took the first bite of her food. She didn’t understood why they were all staring at her. The expectancy in their gazes only heightened Rei’s anxiety further.
               “So, any special reason why you wanted a big family dinner?” Grandma Teiko asked, cocking a brow. Th knowing smirk on her face terrified Rei. She knew something, and Rei wasn’t sure if that brought her relief or additional panic.
               “What do you mean?” Rei asked, swallowing hard. The food tasted unexpectedly horrible, like her mother had cooked in a copper pot rife with patina. She took a long swig of water to wash away the rancid, metallic flavor and for a fleeting moment, wondered if they were poisoning her.
               Yuruganai glared at his daughter over the tops of his glasses, challenging her to continue playing dumb. Kakashi took hold of Rei’s hand under the table, fed her a little encouraging smile. Toshio rested his head in her lap.
               “Okay” Rei started, sucking in a sharp breath. “So, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you guys. It’s kind of a big deal, though, so just…bare with me.”
               Kakashi could sense the anxiety in her tone, the uncertainty and fear. He squeezed her hand lightly and hoped it served as a solid reminder that she was not alone in this.
               “Well? What is it?” Yuruganai asked impatiently.
               Rei opened her mouth to speak, to finally let the announcement spill out, but was quickly interrupted by her mother. “Oh, I think I know what’s going on!” she suddenly exclaimed, voice rising an octave with excitement.
               “Y-you do…?” Rei asked. After what Arai had said in the locker room, she hadn’t expected her mother to not only guess it so quickly but to be so delighted. She never celebrated her daughter’s pursuit of danger.
                Hana nodded vigorously, unable to wipe the smile off her face. And then she said it—the last thing Rei had ever expected or even wanted her to say. “You and Kakashi are expecting! Is that it? Is that what it is? Is my little girl finally going to be a mother?”
               All the color drained from Rei’s face in that moment and she felt her already anxious stomach flip. She glanced to Kakashi for reassurance but he seemed just as shellshocked as she was. Toshio whined and propped his chin on the table, sticking his long, spotted tongue out in an effort to steal some of her food.
               “Oh, this is the best news!” Hana laughed, teary-eyed. She reached across the table to take hold of Rei’s free hand. “Now you can finally put away all those silly ninja dreams once and for all! We won’t have to worry about you getting hurt anymore! I’d break out the sake to celebrate but we all know pregnant woman can’t have alcohol!” Hana’s eyes darted to Rei’s stomach, as if attempting to judge whether she was already beginning to show. Overwhelmed with delight, she was eager to know everything: how far along Rei was, if they had gotten an ultrasound yet, mood swings, cravings, baby names, nursery ideas.
               Rei sucked her teeth and tugged her hand sharply out of her mother’s grasp. “Actually” she corrected, her tone cutting, “that’s not it at all.”
               Grandma Teiko hummed under her breath, shooting her daughter-in-law an amused little expression. A silent jab about how she jumped the gun and look at the mess you’ve made now.
               Hana’s face fell. “I-It’s not…?” she croaked. She drew her hand up to her chest, her heartbeat increasing with newfound fear. “It must be about the wedding then! Right?” she asked, and it was obvious how desperately she was grappling for her sanity here. How the fear of what was really going on rooted deep within the pit of her chest.
               “No, it’s not” Rei said through gritted teeth. “But thanks for making your feelings so clearly known.”
               “Well?” Yuruganai shot back. “Then what is going on?”
               Rei pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes as her gaze locked on both of them across the table. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I actually made ANBU captain. Which, by the way, is a really big fucking deal.” She could feel her mouth beginning to build up with excess spit, the tip of her nose tingling and her hands going numb. That metallic taste in her mouth only grew stronger. She slammed her chopsticks down on the table and promptly rose to her feet. “But I doubt any of you would be happy about that, would you? You can’t possibly find it in yourselves to be proud of me for something like that. I’m nothing but some sort of vessel for making babies, aren’t I? That’s all you think I’m good for? All you think I should be doing with my life? Well, maybe I don’t even want kids in the first place! Did you ever consider that? Did you ever consider what I want? Of course you didn’t! You never do! You’ve always tried to shove me down whatever path you thought was best for me but you better make peace real fast with the path I am taking because you know what? The Natsuki line ends with me.”
               Before her family could even argue, Rei spun around the corner and raced down the hallway. Her heavy footfalls echoed through the apartment, desperate and heartbroken.
               The hallway swayed and pulsed in front of her, the floor warping beneath her feet. Rei could feel her rapid heart threatening to beat straight out of her chest. She launched herself into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, and collapsed on the cold tile floor.
               The dining room fell silent in the wake of Rei’s outburst. Hana buried her face in her hands, whimpering, as Yuruganai slammed his cup down on the table. “After all these years…you’d think she’d finally learn a thing or two about respect.”
               “Now, Yuri—” Teiko began, but her son didn’t seem to care.
               “No” Yuruganai fired back. “No, she doesn’t have the privilege of speaking to us this way. We fed her for eighteen years, we clothed her, we provided a roof over her head. All we asked in return as that she respect our wishes but she can’t even do that. Instead, she decides to go out and waste her time with this godawful ninja shit. And a captain of all things! Stuck in her romanticizing of this disgusting institution. She’s a dishonor.”
               Kakashi knew better than to inject himself into Rei’s parents’ affairs. He knew that their tolerance of him was already thin, but he refused to sit idly by while they belittled and insulted his fiancée. He didn’t care if they were her family or not. “Well, I’m proud of her” he finally said, locking eyes with Yuruganai. “Your daughter has worked hard to get where she is. I’ve seen firsthand how seriously she takes her job, and how much she loves doing what she does. She was meant for this whether you see any merit in it or not.”
               “Hmph, that’s easy for you to say” Yuruganai muttered, mocking and sharp. He expected nothing less from Friend Killer Kakashi, ninja extraordinaire. Of course he’d support Rei’s pursuit of such a terrible career. He had dedicated his entire life to being a shinobi. Despite all of this, however, Yuruganai refused to meet Kakashi’s gaze. Deep down, he hated to admit that he feared Kakashi.
               “Well” Grandma Teiko began, reaching across the table to set a veiny hand atop Kakashi’s. “If nothing else, I am proud of Rei’s achievements.” Her warm smile, her gentle touch, filled Kakashi with a sense of hope and relief. They exchanged a brief expression of understanding, of mutual support, before Teiko shot a fierce glare to her son and daughter-in-law. “And you two” she snarled. “You should both be ashamed of yourselves. Your daughter has done something very few are strong enough to do, and yet you cast her aside and treat her like shit! Your own flesh and blood! Not to mention she did all of this without the support of either of you. And that’s something to really admire.”
               The room fell silent yet again as Hana and Yuruganai stewed in Teiko’s sharp, honest words. They hung heavy in the air, weight like lead upon their ungrateful shoulders. Toshio lumbered forward and licked her elbow in silent support. A brief smile flashed on the old woman’s face as she scratched behind his ear and fed him a coveted piece of pork.
               After a long moment, Hana cleared her throat and whimpered, “Rei’s been back there for a while, I-I better go check on her.” As she went to stand, however, Kakashi extended an arm to halt her.
               “I’ll do it” he said. He knew she would be far more receptive to him than her mother right now. Besides, he needed to ensure that she was okay on his own.
               Toshio dutifully accompanied Kakashi down the hallway, racing forward and pawing at the door. Kaksahi idled outside for only a moment, catching the muffled echoes of Rei vomiting inside. When her wretching seemed to finally die down, he sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Rei? Are you alright?” he asked. “Can I come in?” The toilet flushed and the door slowly creaked open. Rei wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her face pale and damp with sweat. Dark circles bloomed benath her eyes and her entire body trembled. She could hardly look at him. Again, Kakashi asked, “Are you alright?”
               Rei shook her head, wrapped her arms around her waist. Voice soft and barely audible, she whispered hoarsely, “I just want to go home.” Dumbfounded, Kakashi nodded in agreement.
               Hana and Yuruganai watched as Kakashi slipped back into the dining room and began quietly gathering Rei’s things. He scooped her purse up in his arm and softly explained, “Rei’s not feeling well. I think it’s best if we just go home.” Neither her mother nor father protested.
               Kakashi wrapped an arm around his fiancée as he helped her down the stairs, Toshio walking ahead of them as if acting as both guide and protector. Rei clung to Kakashi as the stairwell seemed to shift and sway, exercising extra caution so as to not trip with each step. Once they reached the empty store below, she squeezed his forearm to pause him. He gazed at her anxiously in the murky darkness, watching as she shut her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. She needed a moment to steady herself, to calm the uproar in her stomach. He rubbed the small of her back as she did so and allowed her time enough to refocus. The apartment door above them creaked open. Footsteps bumbled down the stairs.
               “Kakashi, oh god…” Rei whimpered, clinging to his arm. She envisioned her father coming after her, ready to berate her even further. She hadn’t wanted to say goodbye to anyone for that very reason. She din’t want anything to do with them anymore.
               “Shh, Rei, it’s okay, I’m right here” Kakashi assured her, adopting a protective stance. If her father even so much as considered causing Rei more harm, Kakashi would have no choice but to defend her—physically, emotionally, or otherwise. No matter what, he would always defend her.
               Kakashi squinted through the darkness as a hunched figure hobbled nearer and relief washed over him. The tapping of her cane immediately filled Rei with an equal sense of calm. “Didn’t think you could leave without saying goodbye to me now, did you?” she laughed.
               Rei slowly turned as Grandma Teiko approached, the old woman cupping her face in her hands. Rei allowed herself to fall into her comforting touch, closing her eyes and whimpering softly.
               “Don’t you worry, girl” Teiko smiled. “Everything is going to be just fine.”
               “But how do you know?” Rei whispered, meeting the old woman’s gaze. Within her question was an undertone of regret, of fear and sadness. Grandma Teiko knew nothing of the struggles Rei had faced in the past month. Not really. She didn’t know the heartbreak and confusion of this strange new change. Of Rei’s desperation for a child dashed by the promise of prominence in her career. She didn’t know the heavy weight that rested squarely on Rei’s chest every single day at the thought of what she had given up, at how badly she realized she did, in fact, want a baby. Of Rei’s fear that perhaps this promotion was all a mistake, that she was not actually good enough, that she was not a strong enough leader, that she would lead yet another comrade to their death. It was all so heavy, and grew even moreso with every passing day. Paralyzing, debilitating, unbearable.
               But Rei’s silent suffering changed nothing for Grandma Teiko. Her suffering wasn’t quite so silent as it seemed. She could see Rei’s heartache in the way she curled in on herself, the way her hands shook and her eyes grew weary. It was no secret that Rei was spiralling.
               “Because I know everything, girl” Grandma Teiko replied, narrowing her eyes with amused confidence. “And I won’t allow any different.” Rei couldn’t comprehend how she could be so confident, how her optimism managed to shine like a beacon in the foggy night. Teiko patted Rei’s cheek like a small child and continued. “I am so damn proud of you. You know that?” she asked. Her words dripped with ingenuity. A sob broke past Rei’s lips. “I am so happy for you and everything you’ve accomplished. You’re getting everything you’ve ever wanted and you deserve people who will celebrate that. Rei, you deserve to be happy and supported.” She brushed the bangs back out of her granddaughter’s face, her thumb tracing the edge of that nasty scar. “A captain of the ANBU black ops is truly something worth celebrating. Not everyone has the strength, intelligence, and gumption to achieve what you have but you want to know something? I wouldn’t have expected anything less from my incredible granddaughter. You excel at whatever you put your mind to and I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up becoming the best damn captain the black ops has ever seen. You’ve always been destined for greatness, Rei. Even if other people don’t see it, I see it. Kakashi sees it. And more importantly, I hope you see it. Or else you wouldn’t have gotten this far.”
               Rei’s face contorted as she tried to swallow back her tears but it was no use. She fell into Grandma Teiko’s embrace and sobbed violently into her shoulder, hugging her tight and allowing her tears to stain the sleeve of the old woman’s kimono. After all these years, Teiko’s faith never wavered. There would never be an accurate way for Rei to express her gratitude, it was too astronomical for words. Rei only hoped that her appreciation was clear enough.
               “Go on and rest now, girl” Grandma Teiko finally said, puling away after a long, desperate embrace. Rei sniffled and nodded, her head starting to pound. She watched then as Grandma Teiko skirted around the checkout counter and produced a half-empty jar of umeboshi from the shelf. She placed it in Rei’s grasp with a tender pat to the hand and added, “Take these for the road. You’re going to need them.”
               While Rei still was not a fan of pickled plums, she knew their merit in alleviating nausea was worth stomaching. She thanked Grandma Teiko as she placed a tender kiss on the tip of her nose and sent her on her way.
               Kakashi glanced back at the old woman over his shoulder, mouthing a soft thank you as they exited the store. Grandma Teiko gave a single nod before coughing into the crook of her elbow, and it was hard to tell in the darkness but Kakashi swore he caught a hint of blood on her sleeve. His heart leapt into his throat, questioning his own eyes, before shoving the thoughts completely out of his mind. It was dark, and he was tired, and his vision was only playing tricks on him. Besides, he could not allow himself to worry. Rei needed him and if he showed any signs of distress, they would be detected immediately and only make her condition worse.
               Rei nestled into his strong embrace as they slowly walked home together. Toshio barked and leapt happily on the way, snapping at fireflies floating lazily through the night sky. He took delight in knowing that they did not need to rush, that they could not rush. Besides, he knew Rei was unwell and wanted to give her something to smile about.
               Rei had never expected tonight to go smoothly. She was not naïve. She had already been through this so many times that by now, the resistance seemed routine. If only that helped to alleviate the sting of it all. No matter what, nothing ever seemed to prepare her for the strength of her parents’ abrasive opposition. Each conflict seemed to hurt as much as the first, if not more.
               As depressed as she still was, and would likely continue to be, at least the silver lining amid all of this was Grandma Teiko. A soft smile touched Rei’s lips as she allowed herself a moment to be incredibly, overwhelmingly, beautifully grateful for such a blessing in her life. When all else failed and the world seemed to crash around her, Teiko was there. Rei truly could not have asked for a better mentor, a better companion, a better grandmother.
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choicesarehard · a month ago
I keep my streams about Wolf Bride light-hearted. It’s been a hell of a year, and I think we all need a space where we can laugh together. But part of responsibly consuming problematic media is being aware of where it fails. And that’s why I think it’s important to talk about Morgan, and Wolf Bride’s troubling depiction of blindness. 
Morgan is one of the first Love Interests in Choices to have a canon disability. She is representation many players with disabilities, like myself, are eager for. But like any form of representation, writing a blind character requires research. A quick google search will lead you to numerous visually impaired voices who outline the tropes and stereotypes that harm their community. Wolf Bride has included nearly all of them. 
signal boosts are appreciated
Not All Blind People Wear Sunglasses
Morgan is shown wearing dark sunglasses from the moment she appears on screen. And there are certainly blind people who wear sunglasses — particularly those who (unlike Morgan) can still perceive some degree of light and dark, and experience painful light sensitivity. But no context is ever giving for Morgan’s use of sunglasses. In fact, they aren’t even addressed for four chapters. 
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[ID: Two screenshots from Chapter Four of Wolf Bride. The first features a text box over a forest background, and reads “You glance at Morgan, and are surprised to see the dark glasses still covering her eyes.” The second features a labeled image of her sunglasses, placed over a black background, with a selectable button that reads “What does Morgan look like without these?”] What follows is a scene Pixelberry could have used to provide insight into an assistive device the sighted community may not be entirely familiar with. They could have touched on degrees of visual impairment, or why some blind individuals need dark lenses while others don’t. They could even have explained that for some individuals with visual impairments, dark lenses make tasks like reading or navigating dimly lit spaces harder.  Instead, and far more troublingly, MC is given the option to ask Morgan not to wear them anymore. And depending on your choice, the book is coded to remove the sunglasses from her sprite in future scenes. This reduces an assistive device to a fashion choice, something our MC can wish away if they don’t find it attractive. And that isn’t okay. 
Unusual Eyes
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[ID: Two side-by-side screenshots from Chapter Four of Wolf Bride. The first features a text box placed over a forest background that reads “With a start, you realize her pale eyes aren’t looking at you, aren’t seeing you, aren’t seeing anything.” The second features Morgan’s sad sprite in the same forest setting, and a text box that reads “...I’ve been blind since birth.”] Morgan has a customizable sprite. But regardless of the ethnicity you select for her, she is depicted with pale blue eyes. And that troubles me. Because the stereotype that all blind individuals have cloudy, distorted, or unusual eyes is pervasive and harmful. 
Even when it isn’t tied to another harmful trope — the blind character as mystical seer or psychic — this stereotype create an expectation that blindness is something that always manifests in a visible way. And for millions of blind individuals, that isn’t the case. 
And while cataracts, trauma to the eye, and corneal infections can all cause the clouded effect most of us recognize from media, none turn your brown eyes into blue.  Heightened Senses
Another common stereotype in media is the blind character who’s remaining senses have become heightened as a compensatory mechanism, often to a supernatural degree.
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[ID: Two side-by-side screenshots from Chapter Four of Wolf Bride. The first features Morgan’s surprised sprite in a forest setting and a text box that reads “I guess I sort of...feel things. Like the place on my cheek where the branch blocked the wind.” The second features Morgan’s neutral sprite in the same forest setting, and a text box that reads “I can smell the dew on the leaves, and the moss on the bark. Can’t you?] Individuals with visual impairment may learn to rely on their other senses to navigate the world around them. But they do not suddenly gain the ability to sense the location of a branch based on wind patterns, or to accurately throw a dart at a carnival game ballon based on its smell. 
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[ID: Two side-by-side screenshots from Chapter Eight of Wolf Bride. The first features a text box placed over a carnival background that reads “Pop! Pop! Pop! Three darts fly through the air, striking their targets.” The second features the white MC with straight blonde hair. Her sprite is surprised, and beneath it is a text box that reads “So you did that by smell, too?]
This trope may seem harmless — after all, it gave us Daredevil, a beloved blind superhero — but it contributes to the unachievable expectations we often place on real-world individuals with visually impairments. And that isn’t fair. 
Of course, we all suspected Morgan’s abilities were due to something other than heightened senses. And that in and of itself is a problem. 
Magical / Supernatural Abilities
To the surprise of no one, Morgan exhibits these unusual abilities because she is a werewolf. But choosing to give a blind character magical abilities should only be done after asking yourself some challenging questions. As visually-impaired Tumblr user @mimzy-writing-online explains:
Your blind characters don’t need a magical ability that negates their blindness. [Ask yourself why it’s so important to you to give them one]. If it’s because they can’t do all the things you want them to do without it, then should you really have written them as blind in the first place? 
And that’s the thing. Morgan isn’t actually written as a blind character, not when it counts. Morgan shoots bullets with accuracy, runs through unfamiliar terrain, and navigates moving objects with ease. She doesn’t use common assistive devices like canes or screen readers. Her sunglasses are discarded at MC’s request. The scientific papers that fill her research facility are not digitized for accessibility or written in braille. 
Even her dreams, which should be reflections of how she perceives reality, look identical to Bastien's — which makes no sense for someone who has been canonically blind since birth. 
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[ID: Two side-by-side screenshots from Chapters Five and Eight of Wolf Bride. The first features a scene from Morgan’s lucid dream. Set in a glamorous hotel, it includes visual details like twinkling lights, and patterned carpets. The color is tinted a grey-blue and the exposure on the image has been increased to an unnatural level. The second features a scene from Bastien’s lucid dream. Set in a forest, it shares the same tinted and over-exposed qualities as the first.]
Her blindness isn’t an integral part of her character. Instead, it’s a narrative device, paraded in front of the reader when it can further a central — and deeply disturbing — plot point. [content warning: discussion of discrimination and child abuse / abandonment ahead]  Morgan Was Left to Die Because She Was Blind 
And Jesus, what a plot point it is. In Chapter 11, we learn that Morgan was left to die in the woods because she was born “wrong, sickly, blind.” But the only canonical disability or illness she is ever shown to have is her blindness. 
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[ID: Three side-by-side screenshots from Chapter Eleven of Wolf Bride. The first two feature the white MC with straight blonde hair’s shocked sprite in front of a forest background. The first text box reads “I don’t understand...” followed by two dialogue options “Why was Morgan abandoned?” and “Is that what you do to full moon babies? Kill them?” The second panel’s read box reads “Just because she was blind?” The third panel features  the old woman Noemi’s sad sprite, placed over a forest background. Her text box reads “If we know an infant will not survive, it is best to let it die quickly.”] frankly having a hard time thinking through the screenshot-induced fury to make a coherent argument here. To imply that blindness is an impairment so limiting that death is the only foreseeable outcome? That being born blind somehow makes a child “wrong”? The ignorance and prejudice shown in this scene is staggering. 
But equally troubling is the response of the main characters to this revelation. Yes, in fiction, bad people sometimes do bad things. But Noemi isn’t shown to be a bad person. Neither is Bastien, who knew what his pack had been guilty of in the past, and even seeks to justify it to a limited degree. 
Most shockingly, Morgan herself, who in the second screenshot below has just overheard that she was left to die as an infant because she is blind, isn’t angry or upset. She’s almost apologetic, still seeking a place within the pack. 
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[ID: Two side-by-side screenshots from Chapter Eleven of Wolf Bride. The first features Hispanic Bastien’s sad sprite in front of a forest background. The text box beneath him reads “It doesn’t happen often, Clara, but...” The second features white Morgan’s sad sprite in front of the same forest background. The text box beneath her reads “I didn’t mean any harm. Especially after...what I just overheard.”]
By introducing the idea that a child born blind cannot survive, let alone thrive, without superhuman abilities, and then failing to soundly and thoroughly refute that idea through the characters we identify with, Pixelberry is unintentionally perpetuating the same false beliefs that have led to real-world instances of infanticide for centuries. And that isn’t okay. 
I don’t know where Pixelberry will go with the story from here. Perhaps in today’s chapter some of these concerns have been addressed...but I doubt it. In the meantime, I’ve also written to their support staff to express my deep concern and disappointment in the treatment of Morgan’s character. And I’d encourage you to do the same. 
Will I continue to keep streaming Wolf Bride? For now, yes. My VIP subscription is already paid for, and frankly, I want to see Morgan’s arc through. I guess the small part of me that was excited for the representation is still hopeful the narrative can be corrected. 
But I’ll be adding a content warning at the start of each stream for ablism, and that’s something I never thought I’d have to do.  Screenshots courtesy of CrimsonFeatherGames on Youtube
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kotoplasm · a month ago
assets in liabilities
summary: his dreams always go a little like this. high tides slowly washing into the cliffs of the shoreline, sometimes getting as high as his ankles. there’s a feeling of hesitancy that resides in him when he feels the desire to move forwards but he feels stuck in the sand, forced to watch the waters swash and backwash gently in the dead of the night.
when he blinks, he’s fifteen feet away from where he had originally opened his eyes, perched on an ancient bridge with an old woman supporting herself on a battered cane.
usually it’s the same woman wearing the tarot card earrings: one with a grim reaper etched on it, the other being the moon.
in his mind, the elderly were always the same: speaking lost thoughts or tongues of wishes into existence, hoping they’ll come true – a sign that they didn’t get to accomplish a goal they had originally sought out to complete during their youth.
from all the past nights that he’s had this dream, the earrings that she wears would always change to something different.
he doesn’t take note of it initially – not because he doesn’t want to but because he physically can’t remember what they looked like once he wakes up – and still decides not to.
because there is something else that catches his eyes and that’s the woman in the distance, water rising just to their upper thighs and hair drenched in the same substance.
he can’t recognise the face from the distance that he’s stood at but he partially blames that on his sudden reflex to jolt awake once he gets within two meters of their radius, forgetting the tarot cards, what the older woman says and what the other woman looks like.
so he stays and observes from a safe distance, staring at the how soft the moonlight made her silhouette look from this bridge or how entrancing her figure was, something that he couldn’t help to look at since their clothes were so tightly clung to their skin, carving out the curves and dips of their figure. everything about them felt ethereal.
then if he stayed there for too long or did something stupid like try to get their attention, he would end up back in his room, panting for air.
this time was different.
the first difference was that instead of waking up in his bedroom, he was in an interrogation room, the ones which they usually had for asking suspects of guests questions before deciding what to do with them. from all the ones that he’s seen, it’s always been miya who was usually holding them, flicking through sheets of questions and scribbles highlighted in crimson red.
where he had woken up was in the corner of this room, eyes shooting awake to a scene he was all too familiar with.
the only difference was that it was you being questioned.
the same you who had laughed after calling him a pervert and the same you who would rather make sure that one friend was still alive and breathing instead of worrying about yourself.
yet he couldn’t help but think that there was more to you than just some selfless being who only strived to achieve the best for others first before yourself.
he already knows your intentions from the look in your eyes. it was just a character.
he says this because the you who stood a few meters away from you looked like a mess.
dark rings that encircled your eyes sunk deep into your skin like bullet wounds, hairs that only elicited disregardment and just your outward appearance only:
the person standing in front of him wasn’t the same person he had spoken to last night.
along with yakushi, something inside of you had also died along with every single person in that establishment.
was this the normal miya spoke so casually about? were the deaths of people who were mostly innocent normal in his eyes? what was normal about watching so much bloodshed? sending waves of bullets through men who came with guns larger than an average child? wiping away that same bloodshed away from his skin?
he knew he didn’t mean it in that way but the way sakusa grimaces after discarding his mask now tainted with someone’s blood didn’t sit right with hinata. or maybe how bokuto could look so unbothered by this whole situation? or miya who wasn’t saying anything?
why wasn’t he saying anything?
say something!
“what about the people that attacked? do you know anything about them?” meian asks. miya sits beside him, head sat comfortably in the palm of his hand whilst his free, unoccupied hand flicks through pages of your files; the same ones that he showed hinata just a few days ago. he could catch glimpses of portraits; some of you, some of your siblings who were still presumably alive.
he wonders whether they’re worried about you.
he wonders if you’d even care.
“nothing. i don’t know anything.” you hoarsely reply back. for the first time, you look up and make eye contact with him. he feels nauseous.
“okay so i’m going to ask a few more questions if that’s okay with yer. feel free to answer when prompted to do so,” the blonde haired man drawls on, running his eyes over some of the questions he’s written in red.
“i’ve already told you everything.”
“hmm well if i remember correctly, yer told us nothin’ that we can actually go by.” his eyes stay fixed on you, narrowed with malice. “keep in mind that we’re not the bad guys here. then again we’re not the good guys either. what happened back there with yer co-workers and friends… we’re just as curious as you are. but that isn’t our job. if yer don’t tell us what yer know about the organisation yer used to be a part of, a lot more people could die – probably double the number of deaths that happened that night.”
after some silence passes, you scoff, the most that they’ve been able to get. “and that’s assuming i even care about more people dying.”
you feel the air in your lungs disappear once the blonde pulls a fistful of your shirt towards him, jaw knotted with frustration and knuckles a deep hue of red.
you’ve seen this face before. not on him in particular but seeing it again so up close makes your stomach sink lower.
“just admit that you don’t have any leads,” you spit. there isn’t any sign of empathy in your eyes. from what hinata could see, your eyes looked and felt cold. “i’ve seen this happen before: the deaths, the blood, the violence; getting me to say anything won’t help you or your organisation at all. unless you’re prepared to risk even more of your men’s lives, then find another solution. because trying to pawn me off won’t make your troubles go away.”
in a way, your words held some truth. miya atsumu was a man who put his all into an idea he truly believed would bring out the better outcome. his only flaw was his inability to evaluate and see that not all things were bound to go as planned.
it was an affinity that nature had for chaos.
it’s a flaw that his friends noticed but never succeeded in helping.
perhaps that’s why his last “plan” spiralled into such a deep downfall…
meian grabs him by the collar, pulling him back to his seat and prompting him to let you fall back into yours. the expression on your face settles to disdain, mostly at the men in front of you, some targeted at the ginger now named hinata shoyo who was observing.
why isn’t he saying anything, you wonder absentmindedly. 
“calm down. we still have some time before we do anything drastic. just take a breather before we make any informed decisions,” you hear the man beside him, meian you remember him calling himself, hiss in a hushed tone. 
just moments after and you’re dismissed, finally allowed to return to the medical ward for further inspection.
what they were looking for was beyond your comprehension but it was better than sitting in silence and refusing to answer their questions. 
your eyes shift over to hinata shoyo; perhaps if he let me go that night, there might’ve been a different outcome. 
the tearful chuckle went unnoticed by the others. don’t be so naive, you tell yourself.
not in this cruel world.
in their prime, miya atsumu and miya osamu were known collectively as the miya twins. to ask why was redundant as they were twins so the name would of course be fitting. what came as a surprise was the sheer amount of fear instilled into anyone who mentioned their name.
he notes that though it wasn’t perfect, he was glad that there was always someone he had to challenge himself with during the academy years. it wasn’t perfect but he supposes that perhaps there was a single joy in that.
it almost feels bittersweet the more he thinks about it - though most saw atsumu as the better twin, in his mind he always knew that osamu would be the one with the better life and better future.
he was already settled in his business, found someone who he was glad to start a family with and already had things set in place for the future.
in a way, the two were similar, both dedicated to something they loved but at times that proved to be the root of conflict. 
atsumu regrets a lot of things in his life: the way he rushes into things in the spur of the moment, his ridiculous tendency of being dedicated to his work and ironically his brother, but not for the reason people think.
sometimes he hates himself too. because he let his hot-headedness get in the way of his judgement and let the last words his brother heard be a declaration of hatred. 
to be completely honest, he’d hate himself too if the roles were reversed. 
and sometimes he does. deeply.
“we’re not getting anywhere with this!” 
“of course we’re not. you keep letting your emotions get to the best of you instead of calming down and assessing it properly,” sakusa replies, narrowing his eyes at his blonde comrade. there were days when atsumu could deal with his bluntly put responses but today unfortunately wasn’t one of them.
“well how about yer empathise with me for a few minutes sakusa? if i don’t convince the higher ups that this plan will work, then even more people are going to die because i messed up! tell me how yer’d try and calm down knowing that fact?”
then it goes silent. there’s an unsettled look in sakusa’s eyes and hinata felt fearful knowing that anything could set him off.
“do you think they’ll make us find out who those other people were? the ones who attacked and shot all those workers?” bokuto asks, attempting to change the topic.
“no. i heard that they’re sending the schweiden league to do that,” sakusa says. “captain says that it’s to allow us to rest for a few days before we get assigned to any more missions.”
“schweiden league?” hinata asks.
“yeah,” guessing from his tone, it seemed like miya had finally calmed down. “there’s actually a few of them located in this place. the others are located in different parts of the globe like the european countries.”
“yeah and it’s really fun to visit there on unofficial business!” bokuto tells hinata, earning knowing looks from sakusa and atsumu.
sometimes his tendency to make light of heavy situations proved to be a useful gift in the most unexpected ways.
“i remember visiting france to receive some advancements on a request i made and i got to visit some of the landmarks and try some of the food there!”
“really?!” hinata bursts with anticipation.
“yeah! i’ll show you some of my favourite spots when we have the chance to!”
“anyway, different leagues have different specialties. schweiden is usually dispatched for recaptures and stake-outs, sendai for investigations and analysis and raijin for the long and drawn out missions and interrogations.”
“okay. so are we expected to do anything during this break?”
“well not exactly. it’s called a break for a reason,” atsumu sighs. “ just recuperate and then i’ll let you know about the next stage.”
when he walks away, there’s something unsettling about his stance that puts hinata on edge. it’s subtle, perhaps too subtle for anyone to ever notice, but he realised it sooner than most. 
conclusion: maybe if it weren’t for the circumstances he might have been able to understand that although this mission wasn’t something that the others treated to be such a big deal, it was all or nothing for miya atsumu. [2.1k]
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theshroudwolf · a month ago
Viarianne sat bundled in a thick woolen coat she was given, cradling a crying babe in her arms. Trying her best to soothe her granddaughter in the cold height of Abalathia's Spine, while ugly staring daggers at Ilvont and the unfamiliar man who was with him. Off in the distance, the two men seemed to argue over something, the strange one gesturing at Viarianne and Evelyn. Ilvont looks to them, and as indignantly as she could turns her whole body away from him, rocking the child some more.
"Ilvont!" The man grabs at the cloak the Dragoon wore and pulls him back to face him. "This has gone from selfish to stupid. You wanted to pass along a legacy to your kid, fine. He doesn't want it... So you kidnap his gods damned kid and mother? Why? Just to get your way?"
"Yes. That is exactly it." Ilvont yanks his cloak free and pushes the man before him back. "Everything I've ever had I was not given, I had to earn it. Sometimes, take it. You know damn well why."
The man staggers, catching himself with his cane. "So... You feel justified in kidnapping just for you to have one more thing you want. Nothing is ever enough for you."
Ilvont rubs his face and coughs a few times, spitting blood onto the ground. Wiping his mouth he looks at Viarianne and Evelyn again. "Stephan, I'm dying." Shrugging he takes a vial from his inner pocket and sips it lightly.
"It's cause of that. You've been addicted to it for years, since we were young men. It's killing you."
Ilvont nodded. "But the power and abilities it afforded me, gave me a means to exact revenge on wyrmkind. And everytime I succeeded, it offered me a fresh source. I served Ishgard, stopped my countrymen from several early graves, and gave me a purpose. Gave us a house, so my mother could get out of the Brume. She died an old woman, warm in a house, not starving in the streets. So what if in my older age should I endure this hardship, so my family could have better than we had?"
Stephan shook his head. "So, you lived your life. Your time draws down, do right by your son, his family. Let them go, give them the spear and stone and find your own peace."
Ilvont smirked and looked up as a falcon porter flew by overhead. "I am. I was not given this power. Nor shall I give it freely. He can earn it, or not. Should he not, you can return it to Ishgard. I most certainly will not."
Stephan shakes his head and closes his eyes. "The house of Lords and Commons is better for the Holy See. Let your prejudice end and come home."
"My prejudice will die only with me." His face glowers and his eyes reflect a hateful look. "Defend my home, slay the Horde, fight, bleed and risk life and limb. Then suddenly, oh 'dragon kind is our friend! Look?! We've built a district where people can work and live and, yes, look at all these Dragons around!' No! I refuse to accept it. It refutes everything I was taught and did for my home, and I cannot accept my lifelong enemy as a neighbor. I will not."
Viarianne looks on from the distance and as she and Ilvont's eyes meet, he huffs a cough and nearly instantly leaps up and out of view. Not bothering to watch she stands and makes her way over to Stephan, Evelyn finally asleep.
"He is gone. I know you're an unwilling victim in this madness. Please, take us home. Let me return my granddaughter to where she belongs.
Stephan nods. "I pray ask you to wait for a small time. He may return soon and I risk not his ire any further than he has already expressed." Viarianne nods slowly. "I am sorry you were dragged into this. I have no means to stop him anymore from his actions but words and they fall on deaf ears."
The older Duskwight shakes her head. "You put effort against a far stronger person. That is more than some would do. You... We're a dragon hunting knight like him?"
Stephan nods. "We fought together for years. His power came from the blood he drank. I refused and trained naturally. He got much stronger much faster, but at the cost of his mind being lost. Not all Dragons seek peace, nor do all Ishgardians. He is the worst of both. I worry for your son. Ilvont is... a monster."
Viarianne lowers her head. "I wish I knew my son better to know if he is strong enough. I can only hope he is."
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alliesweetsong · a month ago
Under the Moonlight
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There hadn't been a day that she could remember since the war had begun that Allue had slept all through the night. Long before she had truly been witness first hand to the horrors of war, the recurring nightmares of her encounter with a warlock plagued her sleep. Now even that single event didn't seem to phase her even on nights like this, where her body and mind refused to relax.
Despite the curtains being drawn, moonlight flooded into her room through the crease of the fabrics casting long shadows on the furniture as she stared at the wall. How long she had been awake was anybody's guess including hers. The thought alone brought a frustrated sigh from her lips while she threw the blankets from her bare form. Walking to a nearby chair she grabs the robe Rian had provided her and slips it over her shoulders, tying off the fabric around her midsection. 
Typically when she couldn’t sleep, a walk around Boralus’s waterfront would do the trick. The ships in the harbor and personnel ferrying equipment and goods on and off them seemed to bring calm to her. Right now, that wasn’t an option for the woman, but after a small stroll down the hall to check on her sleeping son, the ranger began to hear the faint melody coming from an adjacent room from a piano. Curious who could be playing at this time of the night, she lofts an eyebrow and heads towards the music. 
The magus had kept his distance from the bustle of the manor, usually tucked away in a study or his room while others waded through the common areas. Once everyone had gone to bed or so he'd thought did he take a quiet leave from the modest room. The soft thud-tap of his steps echoed along the wood floors and down the stairs to the common room below. 
Dressed in little more than dark loose breeches and an untucked linen shirt, dark unkempt tresses hung just below his shoulders. Calloused fingers hovered over the ivories of the piano, hesitant to find the peace they often brought. He'd been the image of a scholar when he'd left on his mission to research Azerite. On his return the young baron held a worn appearance, more muscle and new scars mostly mended though they served as reminders of his time in orcish captivity. 
Silence had filled the halls a long while till the absent tapping of his steps was replaced by the quiet sound of the piano coming to life in the den below. The melody was nothing overly exciting, but rather a soft thrum more fitting for the night that's fallen over the grove.
(Mood Music)
As she made her way from the nursery down the hallway in the direction of the music, Allie pulled the robe tighter to maintain a modicum of decency around whoever was flooding the home with such hauntingly beautiful melodies. As she steps into the den and spots the dark haired man behind the keyboard. The melody was soothing to her and she didn’t wish to interrupt his playing. Opting to instead to take a seat nearby and just listen to the music. 
Though Theron felt the presence enter the room, he kept on with his playing assuming it only Rian with another lecture. Pretending he'd not heard or known she was there was easier than indulging what felt like a fruitless conversation. Part of the melody picked up if only briefly before returning to its softer resonance letting his own emotion flow from his thoughts to his fingers and into the music.  The last little came slower until with a final breath the last key was struck. 
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The man was quiet a long moment before canting his head to the side, speaking over his shoulder without looking back, "I'm really not in the mood for another lecture." The tone was firm but not unkind, most telling of a weary soul.
Allie just sat there entranced by the gorgeous music and skill the human was exhibiting. The song was haunting in some parts, yet exciting towards the end before she felt the emotion as the final key was struck. Lofting a brow upwards though at the statement she let the quiet linger for a few seconds before inhaling softly. 
"I don't see any reason why I should lecture you after a gorgeous piece like that." she replies softly and warmly. "Surely that will be in my head when I attempt to sleep once more." she finishes with a soft smile. 
"I don't believe we have met before, are you one of the servants here?"
Theron gazed down at the keys before the voice answered his and found it to be one he'd not expected. Turning, brows furrowed as they found the elven woman confused. Not without some sense of manners Theron took up his cane and found his feet to offer a hastened bow of his head and chest, "My apologies Miss, I thought you were my sister."
When he rose up to meet her gaze once more, "I hope I didn't wake you, I was careless and forgot we had company." Lips quirked slightly though he held a solemn gaze as she asked just who he was. He'd lost track of how long he'd been gone, expecting anyone in the home  to recognize him when he hardly recognized himself seemed a silly notion, "I am, yes." While he knew she meant something entirely different, it was in his mind the truth.
Though she looked like a High Elf, the soft spectral echo in Allie’s voice would betray what she truly was as she laughs softly and bows her head in return to his own bow. "No, atleast I don't think I'm your sister, your ears aren't long enough." she replies with a chuckle. 
"My name is Allie Sweetsong, I'm a friend of the uh, owner, Rian." she replies lofting an eyebrow unsure if she was using the proper common there. 
"Ah! that makes sense, you must play for company and such?" she replies not assuming he was in fact a servant.
A huffed laugh met her chuckle, as he shook his head, "Ha.. No you're certainly not my sister. The eyes are a little different." He lifted a hand upward gesturing two fingers towards his own eyes then at her. 
Swaying some where he stood as she introduced herself, he decided to let the omission of his own name continue. At least a little while longer. "It is a pleasure Miss Sweetsong. The lady of the house hasn't had much company aside from this new suitor of hers. It's good to see she's expanding the doors a bit further."
He gave a nod at her assumption, "I do sometimes. Though truth be told I've not had anyone really to play for for a few years now. Probably for the best given it's only been recently I've been able to find hints of inspiration again." Theron lifted the cane and gave a tap to his leg he avoided putting the weight on.
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Allie smiles brightly as the man brings a hand to his eyes and nods in agreement before her attention turned to the leg and cane slightly frowning. "Did you fight in the war as well?" she inquires tilting her head to the side as she leans back to get comfortable beginning to unfold her arms no longer feeling like she was in any sort of danger. 
"Lady Rian is one of my best friends. I can say I wouldn't be the person I am today without her wisdom, or her strength. I feel horrible I couldn't give her my company sooner, and now we have...this mess." she replies waving a hand in the direction of the woodline. 
Humming in thought letting that fester she gently shrugs. "You can play for me, i found that song to be beautiful, and soothing."
"A few of them. Though this last... I wasn't exactly a willing participant." HE confessed. "I do not recommend playing party to orcish camps." His words had hesitated before he simply cleared his throat and chose to speak on something else entirely. 
"Not your fault, there's quite a few who used to frequent and do not so much. In part for their lives being full of their own adventures or...  Part of me wonders if she's pushed people away. Not that it's any of my business or place to say." 
As she waved off, Theron glimpsed towards the boarded up windows, knowing full well what lay on the other side and beyond, regarding the elven woman's intent. "There always seems to be another brewing." His attention drew back to the woman as she requested he continue his playing. Bowing his head, though when he spoke, he did so in her home language, "As the lady wishes."
Once more Theron settled himself back to the Piano and settled his cane along the upper ledge. "I apologize if my playing is a little rusty." He offered a small smile before settling into a new melody for Allie.
(Mood Music)
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Allie bites her lip remembering her own run in with being a forced participant in a camp. "I'm sorry you had to endure that. No one should play part to an orc war camp unwillingly." she replies before she falls silent while he begins to resume playing once more. 
Inhaling Allie couldn't help but smile as he spoke to her in her native language. "A human with education." she replies in Thalassian not straightening up some. "Rare to find someone who can speak elven fluently outside of Silvermoon." she continues in common obviously impressed. 
Though she did take note of his mentioning of Rian potentially pushing others away she made a mental note of it deciding best not to let heavy conversation bring down the magnificent song coming from his fingertips. 
"How did you end up serving Lady Rian and the house being so well educated?" she asks curiously
There was a subtle shake of his head at the apology for the mention of the camp. Letting the comment rest where it fell. A small smile pulled at the scruff along his chin as he managed to smile a little. Holding to the language for the woman's sake, "I did some growing in Dalaran. My mother insisted I know the language if I was to do some schooling there."
He continued to play a moment more before her last question brought the music to pause. Considering his words, he glimpsed back at Allie, "You could say we sort of grew up together. Here. In Dalaran. In Hearthglen. I'm no good for war at present, she's let me come here. Nearly insisted on it." He chuckled softly as he continued to play quietly for the woman
Allie's smile turned to a blush as he continued to talk in Thalassian.  It wasn't everyday she ran into a human who could actually speak her own language, and while she thought if she had ever met anybody who could do so fluently he mentioned Dalaran. 
"The city of Mages? I've heard stories though I can't think of a time I have been there myself. I would see its glow on the horizon when I ventured from Quel'thalas as a small girl." she replies warmly. "I would hear tales of how beautiful it was, rivaled only by Silvermoon itself, but I never got a chance to see it." she replies remembering fondly. 
Letting that thought steep for a moment she smiles now and nods in agreement. "So you two are childhood friends?" she asks in a curious manner. Yup he really had her believing he was a man servant "And that certainly sounds like her. Everytime we would see each other, She would always extend an invitation to come to her home."
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Most of the magus' attention held on the piano, leaving him ignorant of her blushing demeanor. He gave a rocking nod as she asked about Dalaran. "Mhmm.  We had both started at he academy. Her ladyship fought for a different path. It's not for everyone of course."
He gave an agreeing nod, "It is lovely, and the rumor is true. Not that I've seen more than pictures of Silvermoon. But I've ventured to Quel Danas once or twice. I have assumed it is similar to the same thing."
When she continued to press about his sister he wavered with a so-so  gesture. "Not always but once we were older. We had a fair bit in common despite a mutual distrust of each other." He chuckled. "She likes taking care of people and playing the part of the hero. I'm guessing you two have that in common?"
The void elf hums before shrugging. "I wouldn't consider myself a hero. I just...enjoy helping others. Even if it has landed me in some...troubling situations." she replies smiling at the hand wave. "But yes, I do believe we share a common bond to make sure those around us are safe, healthy, and above all alive." she replies now leaning forward. 
"Wait, are you saying you went to the school of mages in Dalaran? And you're a servant?" she re-iterates mentally pressing x to doubt
"Surely there is more to the story than just being something of a guardian to a childhood friend." she replies humming as she leans her head back against the chair smiling at the beautiful music
"Does any hero that is worthy of the title ever truly accept and acknowledge that they are indeed a hero?" his counter came inquisitive with a more pointed look towards the elf as his hands continued to run the lines he'd memorized years prior. 
Focusing back on the music he let his eyes close in welcome distraction before letting off a chuckle of his own, "Dalaran has many schools, not just for mages. It just happens that is the path I studied for." His playing stopped for a moment enough that he lifted his hand to pinch the bridge of his noes and wipe some of the humor from his face, leaving some though more even tempered. 
"There is always more to the story. Always. Mage is simply a skill or pursuit in many cases. I could be a writer and still be a servant. Or a marksman..." He lilted a glance towards her. Had he heard of the woman before their meeting? Or been eavesdropping it was hard to say. Perhaps it had simply been a guess at her own skillset.
"Servitude is usually a matter of perspective. I have served the King as a soldier. I have served the Kirin Tor as much the same. Now I serve the people of my home and do so with much fuss despite it being an honor."
Allie thinks on the question the musically inclined mage posed to her as her eyebrows furrowed in thought while pulling her her legs under her form getting more relaxed as the conversation continued. 
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"Well no, I suppose not.." she reluctantly agrees before shrugging. "I never wanted a title of 'hero' I just wanted to show people that if a small elven girl who watched her people decimated could grow strong and help others, so to could they." she replies with a shrug before her eyes go wide. 
"Wait how did you know?" she asks of him now when he makes the comment about a marksmen
Though she chuckles "Oh so now its your house?" she asks in a taunting manner "I know you're not Kenric, or erm, the other human I met some years back serving as her guard." she replies having already long put Thaylynns name out of her memory. 
"Seriously, who are you?" she inquries
Theron continued to play as the elven woman worked through her answers. When she questioned his regard for the house, he pressed against a small grin. "I would never claim to be Kenric or any other men Rian's claimed as a suitor. Though I never said it was my house, just that this is home. I could very well just as easily implied that this land is my home." He countered. 
"Who am I? Not satisfied with my simply being a servant to the household?" Hands mindfully worked through the last few notes of the song before he redirected his attentions more properly on Allie. "My name is Theron, if that is what you wish to know."
The reply gives Allie a pause as she just looks at him trying to place if the name and relation to Rian, a look Theron would likely pick up on. Inhaling deep and clearly confused she shrugs. "Theron, that name sounds vaguely familiar," she replies ignoring his first comment for now. "Like I saw you on a report, or someone mentioned the name to me at some point." she replies frowning as she clearly couldn't remember
"Regardless, it is nice to meet you, and listen to your talents, I haven't felt this at ease in oh...awhile." she replies. shaking her head 
"So you studied to be a mage, you can fluently speak to Quel'dorei in their native tongue, and you are experienced at playing music. Either Rian purposely hires well educated help or you are purposely being vague, to which I don't understand why you would be." she replies as the gears in her head spin.
The magus watched Allie try to sort out who he was. That she hadn't pinpointed him by now had him both intrigued as well as relieved. "It is not an uncommon name in truth. There are at least three others I have passed with the name in Stormwind." he admitted. 
"It is my pleasure, Miss Sweetsong." He reached for his cane letting it rest idly with his palms curled over the top. "Perhaps a little of both. Rian doesn't much care for education in the sense that the world does. She sees actions as qualifiers. Not terribly unlike myself. Though I should apologize for being vague. Please know that I do have my reasons. It is easier to gain a more genuine interaction when there is not the wait of expectation that comes with names."
"If you'd like the truth of it, my mother was a magister, professor at the academy for a time. Thus the education, the expectation of learning other languages, in particular those known to better call on arcane. There was also a requirement that we learn an instrument. Small odds and ends she thought we needed to be rounded out." There was a roll of his shoulders as if it wasn't as much as it may have seemed to be. 
"I should not keep you any longer. I'm sure keeping up with a little one leaves you wanting in terms of rest." The man eased upward with the aide of the cane.
Still trying to process things, in part due to the time of night it was, Allie inhales and places a hand on the robe so as to maintain a level of decency in front of the man, she uncurls her legs from under her form and rises to her feet with him giving him a proper bow of her head.
"It has been a pleasure Lord Theron," She replies in kind. Hoping she was not disrespecting the human by addressing him with a title that ill suits him
"Though i do understand now, but I hope with time you'll see I am like Rian in a similar manner. I care not for the history of the name of someone. I only care if their intentions are for the boon of others, or to bring others down around them. I would like to speak more  during my time here. As I stated before Rian is a dear friend of mine. And if she trusts you to walk the halls of her home at all hours of the night and play the piano, I too will do so in kind." she replies warmly. 
"I do hope you trust me during my time here, I love learning about others. Their histories, where they have been." she finishes with a bow and a chuckle. "He has been good the last few days, though that is in no small part because of the new surroundings we find ourselves in, I suspect he will test the limits of my energy in a few days." she states while walking to the door she entered through. 
"Sleep well, Theron." 
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And with that the Ren'dorei departed, heading to her chambers once more to attempt sleep, humming the melody she had listened to the man play the entire time.
A brow lofted as she used his title, it was enough that he assumed she'd sorted out just who he was. As she prattled on about how similar she was to his sister, he offered a small smile. "You do not need to sell me on her qualities. Or feel the need to measure yourself against her. So you know. We all have our flaws." A finger was waved in Allie's direction. 
"I'm sure we will cross paths again Miss Sweetsong." With that he bowed his head more formally to mach the slight change in her demeanor as she excused herself. "Blessed dreams to you as well." 
Only when she was well out of sight and on her way did the Lord see himself from the den. Taking an alternate route to his quarters rather than give himself away through the halls.
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Thank you @theron-valteric​ for writing this with me​
@lady-rian​ for mentions
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That is what you get for saving the enemies wife
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(I do not own the Gif) 
Characters: Jax, Juice, Opie, Tig, Chibs, Half Sack/kip, Gemma, mentioned ; HectorSalazar, Clay morrow
Pairing: Prospect Juice X reader, Jax x Sister!reader
Summary: When you walked by the clubhouse of the Calaveras, you notice smoke coming out of the building. After a better look you find out the clubhouse is on fire. You decided at first not to interfere but after hearing someone crying for help you climbed trough a window without hesitation. A women is trapped in the burning room, while you break open the door you try not to get notice because you’re on enemies ground. No one saw you help the women later know as the girlfriend of Hectar Zalasar, only leaving the building trough the window you came.
Zalasar is determent you started the fire and wants revenge. Sending you a package filled with an acid bomb which leaves you blind after opening.
Seven years after and still trying to make the best of your life you grow closer to the new prospect. He is the first one besides your brother you open up to over the incident.
Warnings: none?
Word count: 5,709
Navigating through a room filled with black smoke, I looked for the door. My lungs filled with smoke and my eyes full of tears I struggled to kick in the door. The silhouette of a woman was barely visible. I ran in and helped the woman to her feet. With one arm around her waist and the other I held her arm, which was over my shoulders. At walking pace we walked through the corridors to the main entrance. I let her go a few meters before the entrance. Saying she had to move on herself.
I turned around and walked back to the room from which I had entered. Looking back, the woman tried to identify me but all she saw was the logo on my jacket. The reaper.
With my whole body wrapped in cold sweat, I shot straight up in my bed. Gasping and coughing, I panicked and tried to look around but everything was dark. Tears came to my eyes when I found out it was a dream. After I had calmed down, I put my feet next to my bed. I stroke over my clock on my bedside table for the time, half past two. With a sigh I got to my feet and walked more cautiously to the kitchen.
Navigating through the hall with one hand on the wall, I found my way. In the kitchen, I took a glass from the counter and filled it with water. I felt the cool liquid slide down my throat. I thought back to my dream, I couldn't remember much of it, but from the way I woke up I had an inkling of what it was about. 
I had no regrets about the day or the things I did. Maybe if I had kept walking, my life would have looked different now. A second pair of footsteps came down the stairs, faster than mine. They walked into the kitchen and stopped there. ‘’Jax?’’ I asked out loud. The footsteps could only belong to one person, my brother. ‘’I'm here, darlin’. Another nightmare?’’ I nodded slowly. I heard Jax approach, he pulled me closer and put his arms around me. ‘’I wish I could do something about it, I hate to see you like this.’’ With my arms around his waist, I buried myself in his chest. ‘’It will be okay.’’ It came out less believable than I had hoped.
Jax heard the disappointment in my voice. ‘’I wish I could sit with you on the couch, waiting for you to fall asleep again but the club needs me.’’ I pulled away from him and put a hand on his cheek. ‘’Go, I'll see you later today.’’ I squeezed his cheek softly and smiled. With a kiss on my crown he walked to the door, there he stopped and called. "Will you call when you arrive?" After my accident, he was very protective even though he knew I could take care of myself. ‘’I'll be fine, I'll ride with Mom.’’ I shouted after him. The door slammed back into the lock. With a deep sigh, I refilled my glass with water and then found my way to the couch. I made myself comfortable and started a podcast that I listened to until I fell back asleep.
Later that morning, I was awakened by my mother. "Honey wake up, I'm leaving in thirty minutes." Slowly I woke up. I opened my eyes with a dull feeling. Sitting upright, I felt for the TV remote and paused the podcast. I rubbed my eyes extensively but gently. In the kitchen my mother was busy making coffee and as soon as she had her cup she went straight to the club, which meant that I had to hurry.
Feeling through my closet for the right combination, all my clothes were divided into compartments. Pants, T-shirts, tops, cardigans, blouses and even dresses. Separated by small edges at the top of the railing. My outfit for the day was simple, jeans with a T-shirt and flannel blouse. My shoes were down by the door. Before I left my room I grabbed my cane and sunglasses. 
Downstairs my mother had a cup of coffee ready for me. ‘’Drink up." She handed me my mug. ‘’Thank you, Jax is already at the clubhouse.’’ I gave her the heads up. ‘’I suspected it.’’ She looked over her shoulder. I stood against the counter and drank my coffee. Listening to the movements my mother made and the vibrations I felt under my feet, I got the feeling that she was stressed. ‘’Is something wrong, Mom?’’ With my mug between both hands, I looked in the direction I thought she was standing. ‘’The garage, there is another customer who is difficult and your father," she stopped mid-sentence. My father was Clay Morrow, Jax was John Teller's son. 
My dad ran the Sons of Anarchy, it was sometimes hard for my mom to agree with some of the decisions but she was 100 percent behind him. ‘’Dad knows what he's doing and we have to trust that.’’ I placed my now empty mug on the counter. ‘’I know, and I do.’’ She stopped and thought. ‘’Let's just go.’’ She said finally. I nodded and walked to the door. Before I left the house I put on my ankle boots and slipped into my denim jacket with my Sons vest over it. Matching my brothers style.
The ride to the club was not long, the sound of the engine filling my ears. The wind blew through my hair through the open window, with my face turned out I felt the rising sun warm my face. The radio echoed softly in the background. With my thoughts elsewhere, I didn't realize we were already there. The car had been parked for a few minutes. My mother taps my arm gently. ‘’Hey, we're here.’’ Blinking my eyes, I sat straight up in the chair. ‘’Thanks for the lift.’’ With a smile, I opened the passenger door and got out.
Always parked in the same place, the same way. Parked backwards in the parkingspot so the passenger was facing the club. That way I knew immediately where to go without asking. ‘’If you need me, I'll be in the office.’’ My mother called from her side of the car. ‘’Okay, I'll come by later, I think.’’ She nodded and walked to the office, without my knowing, I continued my way to the entrance of the club.
Inside, Tig, Chibs and Oppie were sitting at the bar, with Half Sack as the bartender. The four men greeted me one by one. ‘’Hey there Doll.’’ Tig was the first to get up and walk over to me. With one hand on my cheek he gave a kiss on my crown. The goatee on his chin tickled my forehead that made me giggle. ‘’Hey Tig.’’ I said with a big smile on my face. Tig and I were always very close, now worse than ever. People sometimes thought we were together, maybe if he had been a little younger or if I was a little older who knows. Age didn't matter, but deep down twenty years was quite a lot. When Jax wasn't around, Tig was the first to stand up for me and be capable of anything.
Chibs sat at the bar and greeted me candidly. ‘’Oi, love.’’ Chibs was barely understood with his accent and he only said two words. For hours I could listen to him, talking about one of his many stories. The way he told it combined with his accent was everything I lived for. He often talked about his life back in Belfast. The place where he grew up in Northern Ireland.
On the other hand, Opie got up and greeted me with a hug. ‘’Hey kiddo.’’ His arms folded around me. ‘’Good to hear from you again.’’ Opie was on a ride with a few other members and was gone for four days. He was like a brother to me. The three of us grew up. It was always Jax, Opie and myself. ‘’I missed you.’’ I whispered into his chest. His grip around me tightened a little. ‘’Missed you too.’’ He whispered back.
The door behind us opened and by the way and sound of how they walked, Jax emerged from the chapel. ‘’Okay, listen, everyone is expected in the chapel.’’ Opie turned to Jax and stepped aside to show that I was there too. ‘’Hey.’’ Jax said with a smile in his voice. ‘’I'll have a very important job for you.’’ He stopped in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders. ‘’Oh, really?’’ I looked at him with a tilted head. ‘’Yes, we are getting a new prospect this afternoon. But there is no one who can put him in his place.’’ I had to chuckle the way Jax conveyed it.
Whenever a new prospect came into the club, we treated them like he was less than us, that way we taught them to stand up for themself. Life in a motor club was not easy, the violence, the blood we had on our hands. ‘’So ...’’ he stretched the words. ‘’I was thinking about you, they need to know who to really fear.’’ I laughed. ‘’Okay, I have to do some shopping before the next lockdown, because someone forgot.’’ I emphasized someone and patted him on the chest. ‘’I had Half,’’ I interrupted before placing the blame on the prospect. ‘’No, it doesn't work that way, it was your job and now I can do it.’’ With one hand on my hip, I looked at him. ‘’Sorry, sister.’’ He spoke honestly. ‘’The things I will do for you.’’ I said with a sigh.
Before I closed the club doors behind me, I heard Jax say. ‘’Kip, go with her.’’ And moments after, Kip, also known as Half Sack, came running out. ‘’Hey, wait a minute.’’ He called as he tried to keep up with me. ‘’It's sweet of you, but I can go shopping alone.’’ A panting Kip walked up next to me. ‘’But who will help you with lifting the groceries, do you know how much you have to take back?’’ enough to feed an entire orphanage. ‘’Fine.’’ I said briefly.
I didn’t want Kip to drive us. It was not because I didn’t trust him in a car but I liked to walk. ‘’What do you think they are talking about back at the club?’’ Kip asked out of nowhere. ‘’I don’t know, if it is important we will know soon enough.’’ I answered his question, shrugging my shoulders. Important or not Jax would tell me anyway.
The club was under some stress with the Niners, the police were on our backs and my dad and Jax weren’t speaking on the same page. There was a lot they could have been talking about. On the occasion I was allowed in the chapel, be present by the meeting and be able to vote. Every other time I was not, Jax would always fill me in later on in the day.
The grocery shopping took for ever, people that were complaining that it took me to long to choose a product or that I hit them with my cain. One man, in his late thirties, was ready to start a fight and I was having none of it. Getting more and more angry, not of the fact that he accused me of anything because of my blindness but of my vest.
He was mansplaining me that women didn’t belong in the club and that we were only good for getting beer and sex. It took everything in me not to hit him but I got close. Kip did had to hold me back before I did. ‘’All I am saying is that it women belong in the kitchen not in the club itself and don’t get me started on women wearing the vest.’’ before I handed Kip my cain I checked where the men was standing. ‘’Hold this.’’ I said and let go of I it and took a step forward.
Kip who knew me and what I was capable of, jumped into action and wrapped his arms around my waist holding me back. ‘’If I were you, you should shut up and leave. Blind or not she has a mean right hook.’’ Kip warned the man. The man looked at me, but before he could protest he was asked to leave by the staff of the grocery shop. ‘’I am so sorry ma’am.’’ The young lady of the staff said. I smiled nicely at her. ‘’It’s oké.’’ And continued looking for everything else we needed.
After paying and double checking if we had everything we headed back to the club. Kip was carrying more then he could and I had two bags. ‘’Don’t you think we may have bought to much?’’ he had difficulty walking due the extra wight. ‘’No, with those animals, you can never have enough.’’ I thought back to a couple lockdowns back, we had enough to last two weeks. One week in and the kitchen was empty.
The prospect arrived just after Kip and I had left. The young man in his late twenties of Puerto Rican descent with a mohawk and head tattoos reported to my mother in her office. A soft knock could be heard on the door. ‘’Come in.’’ Gemma called from within the room. Carefully he opened the door and stepped into the small office. Gemma turned herself in her chair and looked at the young man. ‘’I'm looking for Jax Teller. Do you know where I can find him?’’ He immediately got into business. ‘’And who may you be?’’ She asked uninterested, ignoring his question. ‘’My name is Juan Ortiz, I'm the new prospect.’’ He continued talking.
Gemma looked him up and down. ‘’Great.’’ she said and stood up. ‘’Sit’’ She said as if he was a dog and walked out. He did what she said and took a seat in one of the chairs next to the desk. ‘’Don’t touch anything.’’ Gemma said before walking out the door, heading to the clubhouse.
We entered the parking lot of the club and headed inside. ‘’Maybe we should have taken the car.’’ I said as the realization hit me. My feet were sore and I felt bad for Kip. ‘’Need a drink?’’ I asked him, placing the bags on the pool table.
Kip placed his bags on the table as well and made a relieving sound. ‘’I can’t feel my arms anymore, and I am not allowed to drink, yet.’’ he said, pouting. It was one of Jax many weird rules, prospects don’t drink from the bar. ‘’Oh toughen up, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Besides, I am the one who offers.’’ Making my way behind the bar.
Neither one of us knew my mother was in the chapel as well until they walked out. Kip was sitting on one of the bar stools and I stood behind the bar. Both a glass of whiskey in hand.  The door opened and every one walked out one by one. First my mother, followed by my brother and then the rest of the group.
The first thing Jax noticed was Kip drinking. ‘’What did I tell you,’’ he started but I stopped him. ‘’Shut up and let him have it. He deserved it.’’ I said trying to point him Jax his direction. Kip crabbed my arm and pointed it more to my left. Now I was pointing at Jax. Some chuckles filled the room, mostly of the others while Jax stood with an amused expression. I was the only one who could talk back to him like that.
After a good laugh my mother asked Jax to follow her. The others joined us at the bar for a drink. ‘’You know my poison, doll.’’ Tig said seductively and winked, while adding a sound effect. So I would now he winked, not that I wasn’t already thinking that.
I grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. Everything was labeled with braille, the shelves, the bottles, all to make my life easier. Placing the beer on the bar and before I could let go Tig already took it from me. ‘’Thank you, dear.’’ he said with the utmost sweet voice he could muster.
While we had fun in the clubhouse, talking and drinking, Jax walked back to the office with Gemma. Inside Juan still sitting on the chair, looking like a lost puppy. He noticed the two walking in and stood up immediately. ‘’I’m,’’ he started while holding out his hand, but Jax cut him off. ‘’Don’t care follow me.’’ Jax said and turned around to walk back to the clubhouse.
Every new prospect was treated like a no body when they first got here. The sooner you grew a pair and stood up against them the sooner you got treated as an equal. They both entered the room and all the heads turned to them. I stood still leaning against the bar looking ahead of me.
Neither of the guys spend much attention to Jax and kept talking. The two walked over to the bar, standing close to it to hear their conversation. ‘’One rule, don’t piss off the lady.’’ Jax said while pointing to me, knowing I could hear them. Juan followed his gaze and looked at me. ‘’I don’t see,’’ he started and a smirk played along my lips. Their it was, the one thing I hoped he would say. ‘’Well neither can I.’’ I said as the bitch I can be.
Everyone else tried to hold back their laughter. ‘’I’m sorry?’’ he asked a small panic in his voice, not realizing I was blind. ‘’What did he say about not pissn’ of the lady’’ Chibs said in the most Scottish way possible. The boy looked horrified. ‘’Well? What can’t you ‘’see’’?’’ I asked with quotation marks when I said see.
I looked in their directions, waiting for him to speak. ‘’I don’t see how I could piss of such lovely lady.’’ He stuttered a bit. Licking my lips I thought of what to say next, but I thought we had already scared him enough for now. ‘’Don’t worry, you don’t piss me off that easily.’’ I flashed him a soft smile.
But not everyone agreed with my statement because Tig snorted loudly. ‘’Watch it Trager, before I put real poison in your drink next time.’’ I shot him a death glare as I put down my sunglasses. He knew I didn’t mean any of it, and couldn’t help but laugh. ‘’You love me to much to have me dead, doll.’’ I shook my head and laughed, knowing it was true.
I turned back to Jax and Juan. ‘’Please take a seat.’’ I gestured to a hopefully empty stool. Jax excused him self and walked back into the chapel as his phone ringed. Juan took a seat and I pored him a glass of orange juice. ‘’Here you go.’’ I placed it on the bar and another fit of snickers and laughter erupted from the others. ‘’Orange juice?’’ He questioned.
Leaning with my elbows on the bar I turned to him. ‘’Got a problem with that?’’ I tried to look at him straight but failed, I ended up looking past him. ‘’No, not at all.’’ he said careful not knowing how els to respond. ‘’Good, so tell me, what is your name?’’ A playful smile lingered around my lips, the boy in front of me sounded to innocent and brought a different type of myself to the surface.
For a strange reason I felt comfortable around him, even tough we’ve just met. ‘’Juan Ortiz.’’ He held out his hand and waited for me to shake it. ‘’Yeah, we ain’t gonna call you that for ever.’’ Standing back up straight and ignoring his outstretched hand. Here most of us had a nick name or something els then our real name to go by. Most men just called me pet names in staid of my name.
Juan looked at me, more like staring at me. ‘’What is your problem?’’ He blurred out, realizing what he had said once it was to late. ‘’Excuse me?’’ I said turning my head once more in his direction. This time I meant being bitchy. The boys went silent and I could hear someone walking towards my side of the bar. ‘’Well you see,’’ I had to interrupt him then and there. ‘’That is my fucking problem, I CAN’T.’’ I said angry and ripped off my sunglasses tossing them god knows where.
I looked at him, my face exposed to him. It was the one thing I was insecure about, my eyes. The were pearl withe and glossy, but the skin around my eyes was red and burned. A gasp left his lips and he was lost of words. ‘’That’s what I thought.’’ I said and walked away, nearly tripping over someones feet. ‘’Sweetheart.’’ Tig tried to hold me back, he was standing behind me and it were his feet I tripped over. ‘’Don’t.’’ I said with a trembling voice.
I brushed past him and walked outside, forgetting my cain behind the bar. ‘’I.. I uhm didn’t know.’’ Juan started but didn’t know how to continue. ‘’It was kinda obvious, you could have seen her scaring, even whit sunglasses and there is braille everywhere.’’ Opie stated the obvious. Juan began to feel more guilty by the second. ‘’I should talk to her.’’ he started and looked for my sunglasses to give them back to me. ‘’I don’t think that’s the best idea.’’ Jax said, standing in the door frame leading to the chapel.
He walked over to Juan and took the glasses from him. ‘’Don’t take it personal. Losing her sight took a toll on her.’’ For the first time ever to a prospect, Jax spoke in a soft and empathic way. ‘’She wasn’t always blind?’’ He looked up at Jax, registering what he had said. ‘’No, and that is not my story to tell.’’ With a sigh Jax walked outside looking for me. Already knowing where I would be.
We both shared a lot of things, from music taste to disliking the same people and even our hiding place when things get to complicated. It was on the roof of the office, at first it was scary to climb the latter but now it didn’t bother me any more.
Hearing the familiar screeching of the latter I knew someone was coming up. A while back Jax had brought up two chairs to sit on so he took a seat next to me. ‘’What is wrong?’’ he asked worried. ‘’Everything.’’ I said in between sobs. Without saying another word he pulled me closer in to a tight hug. ‘’I didn’t mean to lash out to him like that.’’ I said after a while still crying my eyes out.
Somedays everything got to much to handle and I needed a good cry. ‘’He knows.’’ we sat like this till I completely calmed down. ‘’So, wanna tell me what happened at the store today?’’ I shook my head. ‘’Not really, it’s not worth it.’’ it really wasn’t I could take care of myself. ‘’Alright.’’ he said quietly.
Jax gave back my sunglasses and cain, we were about to head back inside when he was once again intercepted by the ringing of his phone. He looked at the caller ID and put the phone away. ‘’He can wait, family is more important.’’ He threw his arm around my shoulder. We entered the clubhouse and I took a seat on the cough.
The rest of the day went by rather quickly. Jax had yet another club thing to discus and my mother was also making over hours, so I asked Tig to drive me home. That night another nightmare corrupted my sleep.
Fire, everything was on fire. The walls, the floors. The heat alone was burning my skin. The smoke filling my lungs. Tears filled eyes, trying to find my way to the screaming women.
Finding her wasn’t the difficult part, it was getting out unnoticed what would be tricky. My mouth covered with my sleeve, searching for a way out. Climbing out the window I came in from.
With a gasp I jolted up straight. Panting heavily, crying softly. Cold sweat covered my body once again. Never had I nightmares of the accident that caused me to lose my vision, it was always what I had done to deserve it.
The nightmares got worse and worse each night. It would be seven years ago, in a couple days and the days leading to that anniversary, always took a toll on my mental health. At night I didn’t sleep and the day I tried to distract myself by bonding with Juan, who I kept calling Juicy or Juice. All because I still give him a glass of juice when we gather around the bar for drinks.
Not only did I feel worse each day but I looked worse too. Walking into the clubhouse I was greeted by Juice. ‘’He… oef you look like the dead.’’ he joked and kissed my cheek. ‘’Careful, before you are son.’’ Chibs said with a laugh in voice. I let out a tired laugh. ‘’Don’t worry, you are to adorable to kill.’’ I patted his chest before making my way to the cough and sitting down.
It was a slow day until Jax called everyone on a run. ‘’Alright, we are needed by our brothers in the town next door, so saddle up.’’ Jax looked around the room and saw sitting on the coughs with my knees to my chest and my chin resting on them. ‘’Juice,’’ he started waiting for the prospect to look up. ‘’I need you to stay here. I need some one here to look after my sister.’’ He too looked at me. ‘’Of course.’’ he said, at the time not knowing why it was so important for Jax.
I was so in my own thoughts that I didn’t catch a word of what had been said. I felt the couch sink in next to me. ‘’Hey, darlin’.’’ Jax said softly, placing a hand on my arm. ‘’Uh?’’ I asked turning my head to wards him. ‘’Did you heard what I just said?’’ he asked and I shook my head. ‘’The boys and I are leaving. Juice is staying here with you.’’ He explained.
I was to tired to argue so I nodded. ‘’Be careful.’’ I said as I hugged my brother. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as he could to his chest. ‘’When am I not?’’ He jokingly asked, causing me to laugh. ‘’Don’t get me started.’’ I had a list of the times he was everything but careful.
Every one got an hour to go home and pack, before meeting back at the club. Now everyone was ready to leave. Juice and me stood outside. I never let them leave without a hug. Once I couldn’t hear the roaring of their motors, we headed back inside.
Together we sat at the cough. ‘’What do you want to do?’’ Juice asked me, a little nervous. I could feel him bouncing his leg. ‘’Can we just listen to music. I don’t feel like doing anything.’’ I said between yawing. ‘’Sure.’’ he said and put on a playlist.
It didn’t last long before I fell asleep. My head fell on his shoulder and I tried to make myself comfortable. Juice looked down at me and smiled. He too noticed how tired I was lately, he tried to make me talk about it but I didn’t want to.
Juice tried to lay down on the cough without waking me. He took of my sunglasses and lay them on the table. Together we lay on the coughs, wrapped in each others arms. First it was a peaceful slumber but soon was corrupted by nightmares. I started to twitch slightly and murmur in my sleep.
Not knowing what was going on, Juice looked down on me again. ‘’Are you oke?’’ he asked quietly, but not getting a respond. The nightmare got only worse by the second and soon enough I screamed out in terror before waking up.
For a second I didn’t know where I was. Juice got up too and grabbed my hand. ‘’It was just a dream.’’ he said in a soft tone, trying to calm me down. ‘’What ever happened can not hurt you here.’’ He pulled me into a hug and held me till I stopped crying. ‘’Please talk to me about it. I hate to see you like this.’’ He wiped away the tears from my face.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. ‘’Alright, I will tell you what has been haunting me for seven years.’’ It took me a significant amount of courage to say those words. Of course everyone who was there that day knew what happened but I never talked about it with no one except for my brother. As we sat back down on the cough I started my story, reliving it as I spoke.
Seven years ago, I walked trough rival territory, fully aware that I shouldn’t have been there. As I was walking down the street, the smell of smoke filled my nostrils. Looking around the area I noticed smoke rising in the air. I followed its trail back to the source and saw that it came from the Calaveras club house.
With my head low, I walked trough the crowd that had gathered in the street. Once I was clear from the crowd I picked up my paste, knowing I needed to get the hell away from there.
Walking past the burning clubhouse I heard a women screaming for help. It pained me to hear her scream, begging for someone to save her. Till this day I still don’t know why none of the firefighters went back inside to save her. With myself in battle of what to do, I either lost or won, but I went inside trough a back window.
Following the woman’s scream, covering my mouth with my sleeve to prevent smoke inhalation. The screams came from behind a closed door, it was either locked or blocked. Kicking in the door, was the only possible way to enter. Black smoke filled the room and I could barely see the woman in front of me.
I ran towards her and helped her up. With one arm around her waist and the other holding on her arm that laid over my shoulder, we made our way to the door. The closer we got to the exit, the more screams from the outside I could hear.
Mainly I heard the screams of Hector Salazar. ‘’My wife is still in there!’’ So they knew that she was missing. I brought her as close to the exit as I could, she had to walk out the last few meters. No one could know I was there.
Carefully pushing the women to the exit I said. ‘’You got this, just keep moving.’’ She nodded and held herself steady against the wall. ‘’You got this.’’ I said again before turning around to make my way out trough the same window I came in from.
I thought that she had already turned around before I did, but she didn’t and saw my vest. She saw the Sons logo on my back and she tried to tell her husband that I saved her. But once he heard that the sons were involved he made the conclusion I was also the one who started the fire. And he wanted revenge.
My voice was horse from crying and talking. Juice held my hands the entire time I talked, to let me now he was still there. He would squeeze my hand every now and then to let me know he was still paying attention. ‘’But that still doesn’t explain you losing your sight.’’ He noted, after I was silent for a couple minutes.
It made me laugh weakly. ‘’You are so impatient sometimes.’’ I said with a small giggle in my voice. ‘’First he showed up at the clubhouse, threatening me. He had me followed by his men to harm me. But when I didn’t left the clubhouse anymore in fear of my safety, he had to get creative.’’ My heart was beating way to fast and breathing was uneven.
We sat around the bar having a laugh and a drink when Tig brought in a package. For me. He placed in front of me on the bar. ‘’For you, doll.’’ he said, kissing the top of my head, that being the first time to see me that day.
Not remembering I had order something, I examined the box. For as far I could see there was nothing suspicious about it so I opened it. As I opened it and looked inside something exploded and a wet substance burned its way onto my face.
Turning my head to my hands I continued. ‘’It was an acid bomb, not big enough to take me out. But to leave a message. That is how I lost my sight.’’ New tears filled my eyes and I didn’t fought to hold them back.
I let them stain my face, I let everything that I had bottled up the past seven years out. ‘’I never should have been walking in that neighbourhood in the first place. Cause this is what you get for saving the enemies wife.’’ I faced Juice, pointing at my face. ‘’I hate waking up, every day, not being able to see the faces of every one I care about. I hate my self,’’ Juice interrupted me by placing his hand on my cheek.
He tilled my head slightly up so I faced him head on. ‘’You saved a life, she is alive because of your bravery. Never hate yourself, cause to me, you are perfect.’’ I was lost of words and couldn’t help but smile. I hugged him once more and never wanting to let go.
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queen-shera · a month ago
Mountains to Climb
Chapters Released: 6/?
Rating: T [Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence]
Summary: Running Seventh Heaven and managing the kids are now part of Tifa Lockhart’s everyday life…. Until an unexpected occasion would soon take her to a journey back to her past, so she could heal.
Chapter 6: Remembering
TW: Depression
The rest could be read on AO3 at this link:
From the open small window came the sound of tweeting birds perched on tree branches, and the flapping of their wings as they flew across the blue sky. Cold draft travelled in, along with several rays of light from the morning sun, mildly enlivening the otherwise gloomy atmosphere in the resting quarter of Nibelheim’s only inn.
Tifa was lying in a curled up position on the bed located at the far right corner of the room. The charm of mundane everyday things were muted by her senses; they came to her in muddled forms that were not worth her care. It had been a week after Zangan’s and her confrontation with the innkeeper. She had cooped herself up inside the room with grief ever since.
Leaving the room was only necessary when she needed to have a bathroom break but that too demanded an amount of energy that she did not have. Moving ached her body and all her mind ever wanted was to shut down on her.
Food became the last thing in her mind. Swallowing ached her throat, and the thought of eating food prepared by the innkeeper or the woman sickened her stomach. She believed that Zangan’s determination in making certain she ate and drank something, even just a little, on a daily basis was what kept her alive so far.
Sometimes the woman would come into the room, Tifa supposed out of sympathy and guilt, to help bathe and change her. Often times she would adamantly refuse, other times when she was too weak to protest, she would comply – resentfully.
As she lied on the bed, her mind was replaying over and over again the visions she had about the broken deceased body of her father. The screams of anguish she heard when she was trapped inside the lifestream were making more sense. Those were of her father’s and everyone else still waiting for her to come and retrieve them; those were of the people in Sector 7 that died because of her.
If only she had known better.
She buried her face onto her pillow, wet her eyes and cheeks with hot tears and sobbed out all the heftiness from her chest.
The door to the resting chamber swung open and she heard the tip of Zangan’s cane tapping against the hard floors, before feeling his presence sitting on her bed.
“How long are you going to keep this up, Tifa?” she heard him gently ask as he brushed her head with his hand.
She said nothing in return. She had no answer to his question.
Exhaustion had blocked any thoughts about the future. All she looked forward to was an end to everything.
“Don’t give up, Tifa,” he said, as if he knew of her plans all along. “There are people waiting for you to come home.”
His last few words twisted her stomach into knots. They had summoned images of those waiting for her back in Edge. Some parts of her wished that they could pull her legs so she would start running back to them.
But the other parts of her had her cornered by questions about her worth as a guardian.
How can I take care of them when I can’t even deal with my own problems?
Her head started to throb, so she shut her eyes to fight the pain and wished that her soul would take her someplace else more pleasant in her dreams.
It was thirty minutes past eleven in the evening and Seventh Heaven was closed for business much earlier than the usual hour. Marlene was in her pyjamas, humming as she tiptoed into the children’s bedroom and climbing onto her bed.  Denzel followed behind until he found himself sitting at the edge of his bed. A few minutes had went by when Tifa entered the room carrying a glass of water and a jar of pills.
Denzel groaned, “Can’t I just skip that for today?”
“Oh no you don’t, mister,” Tifa urged, shaking a pill out of the jar. “You must never miss your meds.”
He sighed, recognizing that there was no point in arguing with her. Instead, he stretched out the palm of his left hand to enable her to put the pill there like she always does. Then he chugged it down into his throat with the glass of water. The slight touch of the pill on his tongue left a spreading taste of bitterness in his mouth, making him wince with disgust.
Finding it difficult to endure the bitterness, he stuck his tongue out. “Urgh! They really need to start creating medicines that actually taste good!”
“Medicines aren’t supposed to taste nice, Denzel,” Marlene said, crawling under the cover of her cotton blanket.  
Annoyed by Marlene’s wit, Denzel grumbled in return, leaving Tifa chuckling with amusement by the exchange.
Tifa waited until they were both tucked comfortably in their beds. Once they did, their eyes became fixed on her as they anticipated her kisses and her help in turning off the lights on her way out.
That night, the routine had been disrupted. Tifa was standing by their beds much longer than usual as she mulled over the conversation she had with Barret.
She knew she owed the children an explanation.
She held her trembling hands together and spoke, “I… have something to tell you.”
“What is it, Tifa?” Marlene asked in a voice laden with uneasiness.
Tifa’s gaze trailed from Marlene to Denzel, “I am leaving tomorrow…”  
“You’re leaving Edge?” Denzel sat up with panic set on his face. “Why?”
“There are… things that I need to do,” Tifa answered, holding back her tears. “Things that I need to settle.”
Marlene hung her head down in silence and pursing her lips together. She was fighting the impulse to protest. Tifa knew that the young girl was trying her best to be thoughtful. As Barret’s daughter, Tifa’s decision was an all too familiar scenario; her father had done the same for too many times.
“Can’t you settle them right here in Edge?” Denzel was pleading for her to stay.
“She can’t, Denzel,” Marlene uttered, still with her head down. “She has to leave.”
Tifa woke up the next morning to a sullen air around Seventh Heaven. It was two hours earlier than the children’s usual waking time but they were already gathered downstairs. The food on their plates that Barret had prepared for them were left untouched.
Marlene was sitting on Barret’s lap. Dark circles had deepened the areas under her eyes. Denzel refused to look at Tifa as she arrived at the bar area.
Parked outside was a pick-up truck, a signal for Tifa to say her farewells.
“Right! It’s time for me to leave now,” she announced, pretending as if the impending separation was not ripping her heart out.
Marlene started weeping and clung firmer onto Barret as he lifted her up in his arms. “I don’t want to say goodbye to Tifa,” she wailed, covering her eyes with her hands.
“This won’t be the last time I’ll be seeing you, Marlene,” Tifa said, holding onto one of her hands.
Denzel had stood up but would still not look at her. Barret noticed, “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to her, son?”
Denzel remained wordless.
Tifa exchanged a glance with Barret and sighed. She slung her backpack onto her shoulder and began her walk to the bar’s exit.
“You’re leaving because of me, aren’t you?” Denzel was muttering, rendering Tifa to halt.
“You’re leaving us – me, just like Cloud!” he said again, yelling this time. Tears had burst from his eyes and his body was shaking with sorrow and rage.
Tifa let out a gasp of disbelief. The last thing she wanted was Denzel to blame himself again for her departure.
She retraced her steps until she came face-to-face with him and fell on her knees. “No, you’re not the reason why I’m leaving.”
“You’re lying! What other reasons are there?!” His wet eyes had turned red as he clenched his fists. “I’m the one who’s sick! I’m the one who’s driving people away from here! I should be the one who’s leaving!”
Tifa profusely shook her head, “No, Denzel. I’ve told you last night why I have to leave and it’s all on me. None of it is your doing.”
Denzel started aggressively wiping the tears that had wet his cheeks with his arms.
“You have to stay here.” Tifa reached a hand out to touch one of his cheeks. “Stay here with Marlene and Barret. Stay here and rest… and recover.”
“How long will you be gone?” he managed to ask as he sobbed and sniffed.
Tifa helped dab his tears away with her thumb. “I’m not sure but… it will be for a while.”
“Can you at least promise me something?”
“What is it?” she countered, holding onto his hands.
Denzel begged, with a breaking voice, “Promise me that you’ll come back.”
Tifa tightened her grip around his hands and smiled, “I promise.”
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