#sometimes my feelings just want me to die | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuuuhiii · 18 hours

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omg hi if you’re still doing matchups i wanted to request a jjk one please! mmm readers pretty soft spoken, and very quiet. def a listener rather than a talker. a little bit dry honestly and pretty much relies on others to keep the conversation going😭 what else let me think…mm idk really likes cats? pretty girly i suppose but doesn’t like being called out on it☝️ omg super shy and hesitant in relationships but craves attention anyways. i think that’s it, thank you!!

i match you with YUUJI ITADORI ᥫ᭡

Yuuji is infatuated.

For the umpteenth time he’s out with Nobara. And this time he’s silently thanking her for forcing him to come because he would have never seen you. You’re so gorgeous, he thinks. He’s moving before he can even think but he’s not against it.

“Hey.” He says and you tense.

He’s tall, big, and attractive. You smell a faint perfume on him, and he has big eyes that remind you of a puppy. You’re sure if he has a tail, it’d be wagging.

“Uh! This probably really weird. But you’re so beautiful I was wondering if I could get to know you.”

You’re taken aback by his words and boldness. You were going to politely decline yet those damn eyes and smile held you from doing so.

That was the first day Yuuji had talked to you and now you guys were dating.

It had taken quite sometime for Yuuji to get you comfortable and to open up around him. However he did accept that that’s also just how you were as a person.

You were a woman of few words and he had no problem with it. He’d love to ramble about anything and everything as you hummed and looked pretty.

Although when it came to you coming by a cat, he swears he’d die of cuteness overload. The way you just naturally attract them and the smile you adorn has him wanting to kiss your face off.

Cuteness aggression was definitely his thing.

Especially when you’d get shy over his compliments. The first time he kisses you and pulled away, he whispered against your lips.

“You’re so perfect.” He could feel the exact moment you turned red and he smiled big.

Every moment after that he’d call you pet names, never failing to let you know how beautiful you were inside and out. One thing Yuuji did notice about you though was how shy you were to initiate affection. He’s still not used to it, when you crave his attention and actually act on it.

Like the one time you knocked on his door, evening hours.

“Oh? Hi cutes.” He smiles and you flush. You don’t say anything but you hug him and he freezes. His arms quickly cage you in against him.

“You okay?” He asks, voice laced with concern.

You hum, “I just missed you.” He immediately smiles, kissing the crown of your head he pulls you in his room.

Or the time you were once again in his room as he played video games. The whole time he could feel your staring and he’d noticed the way you’d fidget with your hands. Eyes still on the tv, he speaks.

“Are you okay, pretty?” He sees you jump, eyes moving quickly.

You then stand up and as he’s about to tell you to kindly move but you kiss him. His controller falls to the floor, making you jump away.

“N-No!” He squeaks out, his eyes lidded and a pretty blush on his face.

“Kiss me again.” He says mindlessly and with the both of you red as a tomato, you do as he says.

You don’t have to use your words, you don’t have to lift your finger because Yuuji knows you. He knows what you like and what you hate. It’s easy for him to give you just what you want without you asking him.

In this case, cuddling. He scoop you in his arms, laying you against him as your breath would even against him.

Yuuji loves how reserved and soft you are, you ground him and keep him sane.

What would he do without you.

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readychilledwine · 23 hours

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Rhys w a small reader with a big mouth?

Little Girl, Big Mouth

Rhys with a mouthy reader headcanons

Warnings - implied smut, reader could be seen as trashy but Rhys loves it

A/n - This anon actually came from an IRL friend. She texted me about it, and I had her clarify if she meant a gossip or big mouth as in a girl who is prone to talking shit and fighting. It was talking shit and fighting, so thanks, Sammie 💕💕

Ps- I will figure out what your username is 👀 but you're very sweet for doing this the way the rest of my followers do instead of just texting me first😭

You aren't a doormat. He refuses to let you be seen as one. Even if that means you get into a verbal argument here and there.

Those verbal arguments have gotten physical.

My baby daddy always tells me not to write a check he can't cash (if you don't know what that means, it means don't start a fight that he can't finsh.) You don't have that problem with Rhysand.

If you stand, mouth firing off insults as someone else is, he will stand too. Ride or die, he won't let you fight without him.

And that is if the man isn’t already behind you, warning the male standing over you without even having to speak that if he lays a hand on you or speaks out of line, he will be finding out why Rhysand is proud to be half illyrian.

You do know time and place, but if someone insults your male, your family, or your court first, all bets are off.

Your mouth is equal opportunity. High fae, lower, male, female, high lord? You don't care. All bets are off the table with you. No one is safe.

Beron? Constantly roasting him. Asking him if beating his wife helps him feel like a real male. Keir? Verbally torn apart. How pathetic he must be to think he has some pull when he lost out on being high lord.

Hell, illyrian males aren't even safe from you. Not when three immediately are behind you the second they feel your mood change.

And it isn't that you can't fight. You are well trained and can more than hold your own. He just prefers you let him.

He's only held you back once. It was from Amren, and he hardly caught you in time before you jumped on her.

Cassian was disappointed. He wanted to watch two tiny females wrestle it out. He said it would be better if pretty lacy outfits were involved, but he was ready to settle for you in your dress and Amren in her two piece outfit.

Rhys did not stop you, nor Amren, from tackling Cassian for that comment.

He will throw you over his shoulder, ignoring you as you scream for him to put you down while still running your mouth as you're carried out of the room. But only if family is involved.

Mother knows they are no exception. You all get on each other's nerves from time to time. Besides Azriel. You could never fight Azriel.

Rhys loves it. He loves how spicy you are. He loves how much fight and sass you have. He loves how it's always to people who are mean.

He does love fighting for you as well. Sometimes, he asks you to pick fights when it's someone he has been itching to get his hands on.

He rewards you throughly when you oblige him.

"Where's that big mouth now, darling?" While your back is arched off the bed, and your mind is just a haze. "Thought you had so much to say earlier."

He loves making his girl with so much to say and so many opinions go dumb for him.

He loves it when all you can think to say is his name and barely thrown together words.

He loves putting your mouth to other uses if you start in on him, too.

He'd keep you tucked under his desk for hours, putting your mouth towards something actually useful if you two fight.

And that's rare. Your opinions are normally shared and mutual. It's why you two work. Otherwise, you would be constantly at each other's throats with how vocally dominant you both like to be.

Overall, he'd change nothing about how sassy you can be. He loves you as is. Even if it means you bandaging his hands after a trip to Illyria.

#elizabeths.updates #send asks #send anons #acotar x reader #rhys headcanons #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n #rhys x you #rhys x y/n #rhysand headcanons

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mschoiyuki · 19 hours

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Fragile

Nanami Kento x F!reader

Sometimes Nanami also had a bad day and you will always be there to comfort him.

tw : comfort. SFW

wc : 1.8k

It’s pitch black when you arrive at home. It’s already 7pm and your husband hasn’t come home yet. That’s so unusual, Nanami always comes home before 6pm.

You switch all the lights up, puts away your belongings and get ready to make dinner. Your phone rings when you wash your hand. Nanami’s name pops up on the screen.

“Hey honey, not done with the mission yet?” You put on speaker so you can prepare the dinner.

“Hey, sweetheart. I think I’ll be a little late tonight. But I’ll be on my way home soon.” Nanami voice sounded a little bit ragged.

“What happened, Kento? Where are you now? Are you okay?” You pick up your phone and put it on your ear, biting your nails, pacing back and forth.

“I’m okay, just a little injured. I’m at Jujutsu High right now getting treatment from Ieiri - san. It’s nothing serious, darling. Stop biting your nails.” Nanami try to calm you down.

You pause and stop biting your nails, been together for too long makes Nanami knows your every little habits. “Do you want me to pick you up, honey?”

“Ijichi will send me home, don’t worry about it, sweetheart.” You can hear Nanami hiss from the treatment he gets from Ieiri.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you. Be safe, Kento.”

“I will, darling. Love you.”

“Love you too.” As you hung up the phone, you try to distract your mind from the news you just heard with trying to make dinner. It’s really so unusual for Nanami to get injured from work, because he is Grade 1 after all. Does it involve with the recent accident? You can’t stop biting your lips now as you try to making dinner.

Minutes turn to hours, when you hear the front door being open you run to greet Nanami. As soon as Nanami sees your face he still gives you smile. Then you see Nanami clutching his stomach, “How bad is the injury, Kento? Show it to me.”

“No welcome home kiss for me, sweetheart?” Nanami caress your cheek, still trying his best to hide his injury from you, he doesn’t want to make you worry.

You sigh and scowl at him, but still tip toeing to kiss his lips for his welcome home kiss, “Come on, let’s sit first and let me see the injury, Kento. I want to know how bad it is.” Nanami takes off his shoes and slips into the home slippers, he takes your hand and follows you to the kitchen.

You slowly sits Nanami on the bar stool, and starts unbuttoning his blue shirt carefully, you furrow your eyebrows when you see the big patch at Nanami’s right stomach. You reach his cheek and caressing it, “What happened, Kento? How did you get this wound? Is this has anything to do with the recent accident?”

Nanami slither his arms to your waist, bringing you closer to him, “Yes, it’s the same curse that does this. Itadori - kun and I finds the culprit, I told Itadori - kun I would handle it, but in the end he also saved me from the curse. The curse can perform Domain Expansion, and I trapped in it. Although I ashamed that I had a thought to give up. I’m sorry, darling.” Nanami looks up at you, his eyes glassy with the tears that forming.

“Why are you sorry, Kento? It’s okay. Don’t be sorry, we all know the risks as sorcerers.” You still caress his cheekbones, looking into his hazel eyes.

“I know that thoughts is hard for you, what if I really gave up and leave you alone?” Nanami tighten his grips on your waist.

“One of us could die from missions, we talked about this before. And yes, the grief is hard to handle. But it’s the risks we take as sorcerers, right? To save human from curses, even though they don’t know about it.”

“Yes, you’re right, darling. But the worst part is…” Nanami pause, and looks away from you.

You pull his face towards you, “What is it, honey?” You look into his eyes, searching something behind it.

Nanami let out a defeat sighs, “The worst part is, the transfigured human, that the culprit transformed human into curse, they still have a lingering feeling as human. They cried and asked help from me, darling. Ieiri - san said that we had to kill them, that’s the only way to help them. But it feels so wrong. I don’t know what the purpose of being a sorcerer if we have to kill human.”

You stare at Nanami with wide eyes, can’t believe with the information that he just shared to you. But one thing you know, Nanami is feeling torn and weak right now and he needs all the support from you. Because whenever you are feeling down from works or from other silly things, he will be there for you. He will give his all for you, his times, his attention, his love, just for the love of his live in a heartbeat. And you will also give everything for him too in a heartbeat, no doubt.

“Kento, I know you will choose a safe way to save them if there’s a way. But this is beyond our control and yes the only way to stop this is to defeat the culprit. Don’t be so hard on yourself, honey. I know you really try your best for them, and I know they must be thankful for you because you helped them, freed them from their misery. So don’t look on the negative side, because there’s also a good side from it. Isn’t it like we also help them as human, honey? Hm?” You wipe Nanami’s tears at the corner of his eyes before it can roll down.

Nanami place his hand on yours that caress his cheek, he leans in on your touch, “Yes, that’s may be right. I just can’t help this uneasy feeling.”

You sighs and smile, you peppered his face with kisses. His forehead, his temple, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and lastly his lips.

Nanami tighten his hold on your waist and chuckle, “What’s that’s for, darling?”

“To distract your minds.” You give him a quick kiss on his lips again, “Despite everything that happened you’re doing good, Kento.”

Nanami sighs and hug you tightly. You kiss the crown of his head and lean your cheek on it. One hand rubbing his back and the other caressing his scalp.

“Go take a bath, Kento. Should I help you?” You pull away and check his wound again.

“It’s okay, darling. I can manage it.” Nanami slowly stand up and groan from the pain, you hold his hand to support him. Nanami kiss your temple and head to bathroom. And you start plating the dinner for both of you.

While you wait for Nanami done with his shower you prepare his pajamas and brings a new patch, walking to the bathroom sitting at the vanity holding the hair dryer

When Nanami walks out from the shower holding the towel around his hips and another towel at his head and sees you waiting for him, he chuckles and ruffling his hair.

“Come, Kento. Let me dry your hair so you won’t catch a cold.” You pat the gap between your thighs, ushering him to come close.

“I’m so lucky to have you, sweetheart. I don’t know what I’ve become if I’m alone now.” Nanami stand between your thighs and place his hands on it, rubbing your thighs slowly.

“I’m always here for you, Kento. Through ups and downs. Isn’t that our vow?” You smile and ruffle his hair with towel and starts drying it with hair dryer, sometimes gives his scalp a massage.

“All done. Handsome as ever.” You giggle and give him a quick peck in his lips.

Nanami leans his forehead to yours and reach your cheek, “Yes, darling. Through thick and thin. In sickness and health. Thank you for coming into my life.” Nanami graze his lips with yours and he gives you a slow, deep kiss. As he pulls aways he gives your forehead another kiss.

Is it because Nanami coming home with a wound or the atmosphere is making you mellow, his words makes your heart tingle, “Now let’s change the patch. I know Shoko - san gives you the best treatment for you so I don’t have to worry, but we still need to change the patch, right?”

You jump down and tells Nanami to leans on the sink and you slowly peel the patch and grimace when you see his wound. You apply another ointment before wrapping it with a new patch, “I already bring your pajamas. I’ll wait for you at dining room.” You kiss his cheek and walk out from the bathroom.

Dinner went well and both of you decide to rest since today is a little bit chaotic for you and Nanami. The worrying tired you out, and the fight and wound also drained Nanami's energy.

Nanami groan when he lay down, he stretch his arm to you so you can lay with him. You carefully lay on his chest and put your hand on it.

Nanami let out a long relieve sighs and tighten his grip on your arm, "I really glad that Itadori - kun saved me. Even though I know the risk as sorcerers, I still want to spend my life with you." You looks up at Nanami and find him gazing at you with his usual loving eyes.

"Don't say something negatives, Kento. I don't want to imagine it. I just glad that you are coming home safely." You propped yourself up on your elbow.

“Should we just retire and go to Kuantan, darling? Enjoying the beach there. Sounds good?” Nanami caressing your back, giving you an apologetic look for saying something to makes you worry like that.

“You think Gojo will let you retire so early?” You chuckle as you brush his hair with your hand.

“Well he is the strongest, I think he can manage it. Thank you for today. You are the best thing that I ever had, my love.”

“I’ll always have your back, Kento. Like how you always there for me.”

“I love you, sweetheart.” Nanami pulls you down so he can give you a kiss, a slow deep kiss that he always give you to remind you how much he loves you.

"I love you too, Kento. More than anything." You slightly pull away and mutter the words, you lean in again to kiss him and you can feel Nanami smiling against your lips.

From the outside Nanami might looks so strong and reliable, but deep inside you know Nanami has a very soft and fragile heart. That's why you will be always there for him whenever he feels down, just like how he will always be there for you when you are at your worst.

Even though it's just a small gesture, Nanami really thankful for you being there for him. Because he can feel your love through your small actions.

dividers by : @saradika-graphics

#nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami x you #kento x reader #kento x y/n #kento nanami #nanami x reader #jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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crippled-peeper · 5 hours

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I really used to love your blog, but you are being incredibly hostile to people who want to learn and you are assuming people mean to be malicious. As a disabled person, I totally get it. In a sense, pretty much anything that isn't a specifically disabled space (and even sometimes those as well) ARE hostile to disabled people and create tons of barriers that make it difficult just to survive and exist. I understand your frustration, I understand that it is something you desperately need to express. But at some point, it becomes better for you to let the opinions of others go or to try and shift your mindset that not everyone is out to attack you. By all means, block whoever you want to block, express yourself however you want to express yourself. But as a fellow disabled person, I no longer can relate to or find comfort in your posts. Most of which as of lately are FILLED with hostility and are incredibly defensive (which again, I TOTALLY understand.) I only send this ask to wish the best for you. I hope that you can find some place that feels safe, some place and people who accommodate and take care of you. I hope that you can believe in a future where people truly want to help and learn. And I hope that the hate in your heart does not continue to grow. Hating the world does not keep you safe from it. You do not need to bring hostility to the world, the way it seems to do for you. I wish for you to feel safe enough to have an open heart and find happiness as a disabled person.

Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t care like not even slightly. Please unfollow me, in fact block me. I have no patience for this manipulative bullshit.

I’m going to die some day (probably sooner rather than later) and I don’t exist to suck your toes and jack you off while you constantly question my humanity and my right to have the most basic human comforts

Maybe you should work on why you see other disabled human beings (who have feelings, btw!) as living Wikipedia pages who should calmly and joyously educate you while you say stupid shit to them, repeatedly, and without a single care about how it makes them feel.

I know you thought it would be, but my self worth is not located in the approval of random people who don’t even have the balls to come off anon and talk to me.

Farewell, bucko.

#ableism

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redactedrem · 2 days

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You know what? Fuck you. *Ponifies Batman*

Guys I'm so excited to share my newest project of ponifying the Batfam, it started out small with the hypothetical "I wonder what Batman would be like in a mlp universe." And then the project kept getting bigger and bigger.

If anyones interested in my world building/ headcanons surrounding this project, you can see it under the cut. (I didn't want to make the post too long.)

Incase anybody couldn't read my bad handwriting, I gotchuuu.

-(First pic) Bruce Wayne: Bruce had got his cutiemark the night of his parents death, after the grief had broken his spirit and he realized that he never wanted anypony else to feel the same pain as he does. (He has a fake cutiemark to cover up his obvious destiny)

- The first pic is pretty self explanatory, but I want to make it clear that Bruce's destiny isn't "My parents are dead so now I dress up as a bat and beat up mentally ill folk". Because I've seen people on here give hot takes on cutiemarks that directly link them to a ponies destiny.

This goes for specifically in the mlp fandom but (for the sake of being on topic) I'll use the the example of that one post where someone gave the hot take that Jason would get his cutiemark in the warehouse right before he dies (or after he dies? smthing like that) because "It would be really fucked up to know that you were always destined to die." And listen, I can appreciate some good Jason Todd whump as the next guy but knowing that this would be based in a mlp universe . . . just doesn't sit right with me.

It sounds less magical that way. Its like saying that Rainbow Dash was always meant to be the fastest flyer, so theres no point in trying to compete with her. So uhm, trying to stay on topic here. My personal hot take is that a pony's cutiemark is symbol of something that they do/ a skill or talent that they have that makes them happy. And whats a more magical and fulfilling destiny than doing something that makes you happy for the rest of your life?

Looping back to Bruce, he didn't get his cutiemark the moment his parents died, but I like to think that he got it sometime later on in the night. After hours of being checked on by the police, getting looked at by the paramedics, and after Alfred took him home. Its 1:40ish in the morning and tiny foal-Bruce is just staring at his bedroom wall feeling numb and dissociated to hell. And sometime after processing everything that night- he just decides that this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him and that he will do anything to make sure that nopony will ever feel the same pain that he has felt. And then-- Ta da!! Cutiemark!! Too bad neither he or Alfred got to experience the excitement when they both saw it the next day :')

(Edit: I didn't know where to put this detail, but Bruce's fake cutiemark is based off of the "Make It Wayne" TV logo from this fanfic here )

-(Second pic) The Bat: This is heavily inspired by Flutterbat, I know theres canonically already a race of bat ponies made from Lunas stunt as Nightmare Moon. But I chose to go through with the Flutterbat route because batponies are a race, and have bat-like features 24/7. In comparison Fluttershy maintains her pegasus appearance by day and transforms into Flutterbat at night (ALSO with there being implications that there are "Triggers" for her transformations in the day too!!) Which adds the "Vampire." right in front of her batpony title.

I might do a lil comparison chart between vampire batponies and regular batponies in the future or something. But for now I'm focusing on my batpony Bruce Wayne headcanons so yea. My point is that I felt like making Bruce a "vampire" batpony would give him a more solid secret identity with also the bonus of a really metal origin story.

Now we all know that the canonical origin story of batman is that a few months after the tragedy of his parents death, Bruce had fallen into a cave? a well? a pit? of bats and triggered a fear of bats since then. Later on he decides to become Batman so he can invoke the fear of bats he once had into the criminals of Gotham. Yadda yadda yadda.

Now canonically, we don't know the exact science on how Fluttershy turned into Flutterbat. What we do know is that at the time, pony magic is not researched enough for Twilight to be aware that Fluttershys "Stare" is her own form of pony magic and that it would interfere with Twilights spell.

Do you see where I'm getting at here? Uhmm don't ask me what exactly happened in the cave, I'm doing this for fun and thinking about it too hard makes me spiral. But uhmm something something- Bruce looked at a bat in the eye and decided to embrace his biggest fear to fuel his cause, and his already traumatized and fucked up pony magic had transformed his body- something something. (Edit: I didn't think about this until now but maybe Fluttershys "Stare" and Bruces "Bat Glare" could be a usage of the same form of magic? Just a thought)

I'll probably come up with a more suitable explanation in the future, but like I said. All of this is just for fun.

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connorsnothereeither · 2 days

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So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

#fable smp #fablesmp #fanfic

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stars-in-a-jam-jar · 7 hours

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Moar Buddy Dawn Shit in relation to this post

Buddy was dead for about 10 to 15-maybe-20 minutes. Kristen and Gorgug at the top of Freshman Year were only dead about 3 to 5 minutes and they still got some form of time in the afterlife, (side note: Gorgug not knowing what Orc Heaven looks like and being Deeply Fucking Terrified and shellshocked by the entire experience is So Juicy To Me, like. Something that should by all rights be familiar to him being foreign. Of deep spiritual significance, but not in the way it was 'supposed to be'; he didn't even know how it was 'supposed to be' at the time or after he learned it, he's still not really sure if it was ever a 'supposed to'.) so I'm quite sure Buddy experienced Something beyond the grave and chose to leave it for this nameless aspect of Ankarna. The version of her which exists as a result of her complete death and incomplete resurrection/preservation.

In that 10 to 15 minutes, Buddy passed into the place he was going. Perhaps some cornfield out on the edge of Helio's domain where Helio figured 'I'll get to him or he'll find me sometime, there's literally infinite time here'. Perhaps as a petitioner on the Astral Sea- wait, no, I'm thinking about Rolling With Difficulty cosmology, the Astral Realm is not a sea in Fantasy High. (also go listen to Rolling With Difficulty) Regardless of if he went to the afterlife the adults all told him he'd go to if he'd been a good boy or to some more limbo-like place, he had just enough minutes for the reality to sink in that he's Dead. He's dead and the feeling of a hand gripping his shoulder as if to hoist his assailant high enough to slit his throat presses like a cold weight on his skin. As if this body has skin, no, he's just a solid soul given form in this place.

So jarring. Resting dead in some corner of the cosmos like finding the one empty room at a big loud party where you've mostly been taking things in, sticking close to people you know, not doing anything you're not supposed to. Sitting down on the unfamiliar furniture or swaying idly in place as you listen to the murmur of this foreign world around you. Only it's not like that, not truly at all. You're not at the party anymore, the echoes of your life aren't some thing you're taking a break from to rejoin or building up the nerve to excuse yourself from to get a proper change of scene. There is no going back or moving forward.

He's dead. Buddy Dawn is dead.

How many minutes did it take him to lose composure? Did he even? When the ultimatum was posed to him, did he harden his heart to any regrets about abandoning his original faith, or did he relax into knowing he could live again, in service of something that reached for him and he reached back towards?

Why was he so chipper saying 'Dang, y'all, I worship a nameless god of rage.'? He didn't sound horrified by his decision in much the same way he didn't sound in touch with reality when he said 'Sometimes I raise my hand and magic that burns folks to a crisp comes out, but that's just the lord Helio working through me.' His death didn't change him so much as it fixed his gaze onto something new.

He is still a Cleric. Through and through. His soul needs a divinity to latch onto. And this is the first time he has latched onto a divinity wholly and completely for himself. He was not taught how to live for himself. He was taught how to live and die for a cause. For Helio. He earns a nice afterlife via sacrificing his autonomy to whatever the church tells him is good and right.

But he doesn't want a nice afterlife.

He wants another life.

And he no longer has faith that Helio will deliver him from any hardship, because even after he's just barely grasped how dead he is and has been for the past 11 minutes, his soul is wrent into an ultimatum by a different power. Go back to his body and continue living under a new banner, or be trapped in a dark, solitary purgatory which his soul may never be free from.

It's an easy decision, really. Barely requires any thought, only following a feeling. He no longer wants to stand by the god who allowed him to die so unceremoniously and so unfairly. He honestly feels more betrayed by Helio than he does by Kipperlily. Kipperlily hardly made any promises to him, just asked for him to be the party's cleric. He never expected her to do that, sure, but... His whole life he was promised that every bad emotion he ever felt in response to every wrongness in his life would (should, must, has to) simply evaporate away in the golden light of the corn god. And it's been an eternal 12 minutes, but he only feels worse and worse.

And if all Helio could promise him was a flat expanse of farmland overseen by someone who didn't even properly greet him when he walked in (if the celestial bureaucracy were even doing their jobs and funneled the soul of Helio's cleric to Helio instead of some cosmic waiting room or other), but this nameless deity can promise him a life for himself? Then by god he's taking that ultimatum, come back to life, sit up with a slightly surprised little smile and announce to the world (as he has been taught is right to do when you are devoted to a god) 'I worship a nameless god of rage!'

And he'll be happy with this choice-that-is-not-a-choice which he was betrayed and coerced into. Because it truly feels self indulgent to choose anything. To choose ragefully living for himself instead of obediently dying for an unfulfilling promise. He'll choose the intensity and the darkness because the gentle constant pressure cooker of walking in the light gave him nothing but sunburns and a slit throat.

#fantasy high junior year #fantasy high junior year spoilers #i love him #buddy dawn #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring #fhjy #dimension 20

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 2 days

Note

The teen one. But please, be honest.

My honest opinion is that is something you have to decide for yourself. I was a teen with suicidal ideation once. Now I am an adult with suicidal ideation. Not to be preachy or cliche, but you can decide to live as many times as you want and still change your mind later, but the decision to die is final. It’s a one way street to a destination you don’t know.

Personally, I don’t know much about you. All I have to go on are the thirteen words you sent to me anonymously on a blog site. I could send you suicide hotlines to talk one on one with someone more qualified at talking people off of those ledges, and if you’d like I can certainly find you some, but I’m guessing you could find those yourself just as easily as you sent these asks if you wanted, and I can’t make you call or even know if that’s helpful to you because I’m just a stranger on the Internet.

What I can say is that life has the potential to get better, death does not. As I said, the decision always has been and always will be yours, but it is a decision easier to make one way or the other as an adult. Sometimes the feelings of hopelessness go away when you move out and start a new life for yourself away from things you didn’t even realize were stressful, and I’m going to be honest, high school is much worse than the average job.

All I can really say in the end is this much, anon— there are experiences you can only have as an adult, and you may well be missing out on happiness if you made the choice to leave it all behind. Focus and think hard on the things you would miss and the things that would miss you. It doesn’t have to be much, lord knows I kept myself alive in 2016 because I wanted to play Breath of the Wild before I died, but if you can find yourself solid tether points to tie yourself to, you can make it.

I don’t know how helpful any of this actually is, as I said I’m not really qualified to tell someone if growing up and being alive are worth it or not, but I wanted to give you a sincere answer to a sincere question instead of throwing phone numbers or apps at you. That said, life tends to have a higher chance of getting better for you as an adult if it seems grim as a teen.

The question to ask yourself is not whether or not being an adult is worth it, it’s whether or not suicide is worth it.

#Also you can as an adult eat as much cake as you want and no one can stop you.#which is a novelty that never wears off to me #tw sui ideation #suicide mention

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dangermousie · 2 days

Text

Here is my subjective ranking of all the costume trailers iQIYI released (since I didn’t watch moderns or republican stuff they posted) note - not only is it subjective, it is just the trailers which often does not correlate with either quality of or my interest in the drama itself.

11 Go East - I am vvvv fond of Tan Jianci but this was the only trailer that bored me. It wasn’t bad, it just gave me NO hook of any kind. It’s a pity since this was one of the very few historical trailers (as opposed to wuxia, xianxia etc) and I love those. This said, trailers and dramas often don’t correlate so I hope the drama is good.

10 Reborn for Love - half this trailer is cutesy hijinks and I am just not wired for that. By the time the trailer was halfway over, I found myself thinking that if it wasn’t for leads, I’d not check it out. But the back half has blood and romance and I sat up and paid attention.

9 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red Moon Pact - I wanted to be more excited for this than I was. I love the cast. But even in comparison with the trailers for the other two entries in the series it looks…generic. I don’t truly get the vibe or the story. It’s nice but doesn’t grab me.

8 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Sword and Beloved - it’s gorgeous and intense and screams fantasy romance and Cheng Yi fighting and bleeding. Pay your taxes, everyone!

7 Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Love in Pavillion - the visuals, the vibe, the angsty love feel, the colors! That trailer was my fave out of Fox ones. I need this drama now!

6 Strange Tales of Liao Zhai 2 - I haven’t seen s1 and mysteries (even supernatural ones) aren’t my thing. But the visuals in that trailer are insane and I spy with my little eye Yang Xuwen as one of two mains and the man owns my heart for Eternal Brotherhood and he brings his young Hu Ge vibes here too!

5 Win or Die - this baby is apparently only 18 eps and is all war war war but it’s a Cao Dun drama so the visuals are eye popping. It’s just stunning to look at tbh and sometimes (a lot of times), I want a grim war epic.

4 The Legend of Rosy Clouds - this trailer just grabbed me for some reason - it really makes you want to watch these people. It’s not visually amazing compared to the rest but it’s just dragging me in. In fact, while this isn’t my favorite trailer, out of all the dramas they promoed, this is the one I want to actually watch the most. I used to love the anime so maybe that’s why?

3 Snowy Night: Timeless Love - all the snow and the longing and the battles and we all know we will see red blood on that pristine white soon enough.

2 Love of the Divine Tree - it’s very very pretty and has so much shipping and angst and I have a huge 17 hangover so seeing Deng Wei with similar vibes is sending me. Honestly, my fantasy romance junkie is thirsting.

1 Fangs of Fortune - if someone told me a trailer for a drama full of actors I don’t care for would be my favorite, I’d not have believed it but here we are. This is fantasy and visuals and hooking you done right. I need this NOW!

ETA; I forgot follow your heart OMG! That’s my most fave except for Fangs of Fortune!

ETA2: and A Moment But Forever - I would rank it just behind snowy love.

#cdrama

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here-but-forgotten · 3 days

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authors note: i don't fucking know man. i listened to "becoming the lastnames" and this happened.

content notes: rudy x reader. young, before he joins the military. talks of marriage. valeria and alejandro mention. mainly fluff. mentions of death.

becoming the lastnames

pre-military! rodolfo parra x reader

“Do you ever think we’ll make it?” He whispers, breaking through the shrouded dark, the cool air seeping through your skin.

“I don’t know,” You whisper.

He shifts beside you, the blanket wrinkling under his shifting weight. The night is cool; the stars are out; the city is far enough away to be forgotten but not to far away to become imaginary.

“Why do you say that?” Rodolfo asks, softly, no bite of argument on the back of his tongue.

“I mean, what if I end up just like my parents?”

“I’ll love you.”

That stupid, sweet, sticky, suffocating warmth seeps into your bones to your ribs, filling your throat with a burn.

“We could try to be like my parents,” he jokes, “we could work until we’re 40 then go insane.”

You laugh, breaking the warmth off your ribs, letting yourself melt into the blanket again. Your fingers tingle, cold.

“But what if you die?”

“Baby,” Rudy murmurs, half a scold and half a pity.

“I’m serious,” You whisper, barely making noise, the heat that chokes you catching cold air in your throat, “what then?”

“Then you can come talk to my headstone, I’ll listen.”

“Rudy.”

He laughs. You sound like his mother. His pinky wraps around yours, pulling your hand closer to him; he is warm.

“I don’t plan on dying.”

“But what if you do?”

“I just won’t.”

You sigh, defeated, that stupid boyish reasoning and manly cool. Infuriating.

“I’ll crawl back to you if anything happens.”

“If you die, I’ll kill Alej to keep you company.”

Macabre. He laughs.

“I’ll have to haunt you if you do that,” He smiles into his sigh, “If I don’t die, we’ll grow old together.”

“I’ll get all wrinkly.”

“Yeah, and so will I.”

“Marriage has always scared me,” You admit, his pinky tightening, keeping you close, “But I want to have a last love.”

“We can be just like my parents, then.”

You tighten your grip on him, his fingering wiggling out just to grab your whole hand, paw covering your hand.

“What about forever?” You ask.

“I don’t know anything about forever, but I know I wouldn’t mind spending it with you.”

“How can you be so confident?”

“I want to push Alejandro off a bridge sometimes, but I know I want to be his best friend till I die,” he starts, his voice soft, “and I feel like that with you.”

“You want to push me off a bridge?”

“I feel like the second part of the sentence.”

“I mean, I get it if you do, I can be annoying—”

“I don’t want to push you off a bridge—”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did—”

He pushes his hand and yours against your mouth, gently, hushing you.

“I am not going to push you off a bridge.”

“That sounds like a Dateline intro,” You joke.

“I am not going to kill you.”

“Sounds like something a killer would say.”

Rodolfo dramatically sighs, pulling the hands back to him.

“I don’t think we have to wait on becoming insane like my parents, I think we’re already there.”

You chuckle, scooting closer to him, your shoulder touching his.

“Love can last a pretty good long while, you sure you want to give that to me?”

“I already did.”

You hum.

“Love doesn’t go away. It either sticks around or it was never there. It changes shape though, and it’s just about keeping shapes that go together.”

“You sure you want to go get shot, you could be a poet.”

“I don’t want to get shot, it’s just a part of the job description.”

“I don’t know, you seem to be a bit of a masochist.”

He squeezes your hand, a light little non-existent warning.

“Being a poet doesn’t pay too well, I don’t think. Unless we have World War III soon, then I can be sad and traumatized and publish 15 books.”

“If you make it.”

“I will,” Rodolfo lowers his voice, pulling you against him, head resting on his shoulder, “I will make it, and I’ll come home to you, and we can go crazy together until Alejandro tries to get us admitted.”

“If we pull him down with us, he can’t admit us.”

“That’s the plan.”

He rests his nose against the crown of your head, kissing your head softly, his arm around your shoulders warm as his fingers rub your skin, your body melting against his.

“Do you think Valeria and him will make it?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Confident.”

“They are oil and water. The flame is whatever they’re feeling. And it’s just whoever gets to the fire first and does something with it.”

“Are you comparing their relationship to a grease fire?”

“Yes.”

You pause, letting the words hang in the air for a moment.

“Have you been in a room with them for longer than 30 minutes?”

“I mean, yeah.”

His thumb rubs you.

“He just wants what he never got to have. And he doesn’t get that what he wants doesn’t have to be painful.”

“Do you think that’ll kill him?”

“It won’t kill either of them. It’ll just tattoo them.”

“Do you think they’ll kill each other?”

“They might try but that’ll just end in them being bickering skeletons.”

“Are they both that hot headed to where death won’t make them stop?”

“Probably. I don’t want to find out though.”

“I don’t either.”

There’s a bug, or something, making noise. The moon is high. The stars have shifted.

“We’ll be just like my parents, and we’ll grow old together, and when all of that is over, we’ll have forever. Does that sound alright?” Rudy asks, his warmth seeping into your skin.

“Yeah, I think that sounds alright.”

#cod #rodolfo rudy parra #call of duty #rodolfo rudy parra x reader #rudy x reader #rudy parra x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #fluff #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #rudy #rudy cod #rudy parra #rodolfo #rodolfo parra #rodolfo x reader #rodolfo cod

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alexxncl · 2 days

Text

‼️NIGHTBRINGER HDD CH. 2 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | events | ch. 1 | ch. 3

leave it to me to make everything angsty

i'm a mammon shooter til i die

all he wants is to be rich (obv) and appreciated by his brothers :(

it seems as though he feels like they see him as a joke or as someone they can't look up to. like yes he's immature at times and a bit of an airhead but he means well. most of the time. but even still, he's a good big brother. i wish the devs touched on that side of him more, and i wish his brothers expressed their appreciation towards him in a way that isn't immediately followed by either a backhanded compliment or an outright insult

like yes, it's clear they love him and he loves them. but it's gotta be exhausting on both ends, especially if you're on the receiving end and constantly being (sometimes affectionately) shit on as someone who's already doubtful of their significance to their family and friends' lives

i'm lowkey surprised it was just levi and not lucifer there too...maybe it's bc he knows he's lucifer's favorite deep down and doesn't need it to be reiterated in his ideal world

attic club sandwich...get it? cuz you're sandwiched between...but also...

...i'm sorry. moving on

NEVERMIND NO MOVING ON WHY ARE THEY BOOTY BUTTERBALL ASS NAKED ????? i get that beel loves having his titties out but i did nawt need to be jumpscared like that

satan vehemently denying asmo being his favorite brother and then asmo appearing first in his dream world is PEAK sibling shit

i love them

also asmo's little bow having a mix of pink and green in his ideal world ??? reminiscent of asmo painting his nails pink and green for satan irl ???? SOBS the brothers ever

and lucifer also being there :((((

oh baby 😭 him and mams really just want acceptance and the ability to indulge in what makes them happy

"i couldn't be more proud" :((((( he's already proud of you

i wanna kiss him on the forehead and tell him he's doing a great job

PLEASEEEEEE not luci just wants to fuck on peace 😭 are we sure asmo's the avatar of lust bc lucifer is always on demon time (no pun intended)

like he's arguably the horniest out of all of them.

"business as usual" is a CRAZY thing to say when witnessing a dream of propositioning and borderline foreplay in front of your man's brother /hj

fym "hush-hush" ?? horny yandere type shit. doesn't he have any other friends ??? /j

ig sorcerers can be on demon time too. we love to see it

i hate an ass kissing tsundere...BE UPFRONT

it makes me sad that the only interactions we have with them are side stories or hard lessons or devilgram, like just make them a part of the main cast atp. the devs have to know that everyone wants it

my beloved girlfriend giving me advice for a long journey

MAKE HER DATEABLE OR SO HELP ME

oh :(

simeon makes me so sad. so unbelievably sad. i just want him to be happy

ik he regrets not falling with the brothers, and he beats himself up about it constantly. it's why he helped them during the war. i already went on a tangent about his struggle to pick a side before the war here but GOD it still hurts reading this

barbatos' ideal world revolving around diavolo is unsurprising, but also very telling of his character. he's so focused on everything and everyone around him, making sure space-time stays stable, that he doesn't have time to think about anything but that. not even when it pertains to himself and his happiness

barbatos' happiness revolves around fulfilling his duties as butler/subordinate, but also making sure he stays sane long enough to ensure that the instability and semi unpredictability of time itself doesn't prevent diavolo's wishes from coming true

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epicbuddieficrecs · 3 days

Text

Fic rec for my BFF, pt.2 : Seasons 4-5

Here's the next part of my "fic rec for my BFF who's watching 9-1-1" series, covering seasons 4 and 5!

Season 4

To Build a Home We Deconstruct Our Rituals by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Post-S4, Marriage of convenience | 44K | Explicit

After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak: Marry Buck.

Eddie: Let's get married! In a platonic way! 😆

it's blue (the feeling i got) series by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck

Post-Shooting | 4 works, Complete | 37K

don't want no other shade of blue but you (Post-S4E14 | 11K | Teen): “You can’t go see your son like this.” That gives Buck pause. “He’s not—he’s not my son.” “Isn’t he, though?” she says. And part of Buck wants to argue, but a bigger part of him thinks, isn’t he, though? Not by blood, sure, or legally, but in all the ways that matter, Christopher is as good as his son. if your cascade ocean-wave blues come (Post-S4, Getting Together | 16K | Mature): “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” Ana sounds disappointed, but not all too surprised.“Yeah,” Eddie says. “Sorry.” “It’s because of Buck,” she says, barely a question. “Isn’t it?” “Um,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t really know how to answer that when Buck is flipping pancakes at the stove three feet away from him. in my eyes, my heart, my soul (Fluff | 2K | General): “We made you pancakes for Father’s Day,” Christopher says. Eddie watches the expressions that cross Buck’s face. Surprise, confusion, then a careful kind of joy like he’s beginning to put together exactly what Christopher means. “For—for me?” Buck asks, so quiet Eddie barely hears it. “Yeah,” Christopher says. “I want you to be my other dad. If… if you want to be.” the blues, and then purple-pink skies (Established Buddie, Secret Relationship | 8K | Teen): OR: three times Buck and Eddie (think they) manage to hide their relationship, and one time the truth comes out.

Stucky has Post-Winter Soldier recovery fics, Steddie has post-Upside Down recovery fics, and Buddie has Post-Shooting-Buck-moves-in-with-the-Diazes fic! 😆

this must be the place by euadnes/ @kananjarus

Canon Divergent, Post-Shooting | 75K | Teen

Every life altering event is often led up to with a series of other important events. In this case, there were at least three: An unstoppable fire. An afternoon spent underneath a blanket of California blue sky. But firstly, and maybe the most important of all: There was the impeccable aiming of an ex-sharpshooter. Or, the Buck is also shot by the sniper AU that no one asked for.

Benign Fatality by EtoileGarden/ @etoilegarden

Time Loop AU, Season 2-4 | 23K | Teen

Eddie noticed it like this; Sometimes, when Buck’s done a day too many times, he forgets that this day might be the real day, the one that continues on into the rest of his life. It’s exhausting dying and waking up just to go die again. And the thing was, when a death was to do with work, he knew he could just ask to be man behind, or not go into work, but - but who would he be condemning to die in his place if he didn’t go in and try to avoid it? Maybe no one, yes, but maybe someone. Buck repeats days until he doesn't die in them, has an underdeveloped sense of self worth, and Eddie is the one who wants to step in with him.

Amazing fic, such an interesting concept!!

i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove/ @hattalove

S4, Post-Buck Begins | 32K | Teen

She turns to Eddie and says something else, but Buck is busy fighting the headrush he gets at the sound of Ana Flores calling Eddie and Christopher 'the boys'. Like they belong to her already. God, what’s wrong with him? What is this? or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

A Classic by the always amazing hattalove!!

everything (nothing) has changed by bizarrestars

Post-S4, Love Confessions | 48K | Explicit

Buck breathes for a moment, then sets his shoulders. "Eddie, there's something I have to tell you." "Do you?" Eddie asks flatly, still alarmed and doing his best to hide it. "I would've never guessed." Buck swallows. "Eddie, I love you." "Are you softening the blow, or buttering me up? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm still very worried regardless," Eddie tells him. "No, you don't understand. I love you. I'm currently in love with you," Buck says as evenly as possible, and even then, his voice wobbles precariously there for a moment. He exhales. "You don't have to worry about it, though, because I've processed it and decided to—to find relief in telling you before moving on and moving forward." Eddie stares at him. No response at all. Well, at least he's not freaking out. Or: After Eddie gets shot, Buck confesses his love. From there, things get a little out of hand.

Literally only just read it but the idiocy in this is CHEF'S KISS 😘👌 (#eddie said: get over me??? youre gonnna get over ME??? dont think so, <- love this tag 😂)

Those Two Firefighters by DarkFairytale

S4 to S6, Social Media/Outsider POV | 64K | Teen

#thosetwofirefighters starts to gather a following on social media, as everyone tries to figure out if those two cute firefighters from the 118 in LA are a thing or not.

Just a fun crack-y "social media" fic with some outsider POV mixed in (plus some 911LS!)!

Stuck on Fast Forward (Throw Away the Blueprint) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings

Post-S5, Friends with Benefits | 42K | Explicit

“Sounds like the problem is you think casual sex with a stranger or finding someone new to date are your only options.” Eddie’s brow furrows. “Aren’t they?” “I mean, there’s always…someone you already know. Who you’re already comfortable with.” “Because my pool of male friends who are single and who would be interested in having sex with me has so many options?” “Well, I don’t know about many, but you only need one,” Buck points out. “And who would that be?” “Me, of course.” [Or: Frank gives Eddie therapy homework, Eddie misunderstands the assignment, and Buck is just a really supportive friend...right?]

Have some more FWB, as a treat 😌

Season 5

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress

Post S5E9: Past is Prologue, Coming Out, Getting Together | 17K | Teen

After a very long year of one terrible thing after another, Eddie has a brand new life strategy. It’s called not giving a shit. There’s the fire of a challenge in Buck’s eyes and a clench in the set of his jaw, and come on, it’s not as if Eddie forced Buck into dating the reporter. Not like he pays it any mind whatsoever. It was doomed from the start. She’s not good enough for him. She’s a terrible fit for him. Buck’s clearly been miserable for months. Still, Buck says, “Yeah, Eddie. Why don’t you teach us. What would you say if you were professing your love?” You mean something besides, “In the event of my untimely death, I made you legal guardian of my child”? In which Eddie comes out, sexuality is complicated but coffee is not, Buck makes an excessive salad and is also roasted, everyone has a love confession, and December is the most dramatic time of year.

Eddie not giving a shit is A Mood 👌 worth reading just for the scene from the summary 😆

Courtship Behaviors of the Southern Coastal Husbro by Mad_Lori/ @madlori

Post-S5, Queer Platonic Relationship, Getting Together | 49K | Explicit

“I want you in my family, I want us to be a family. Officially. A family can be a guy, his son, and his best friend, right?” Buck’s lower lip was trembling. “You’re really asking me to be your…what, now?” “Frank called it ‘platonic life partners.’” Buck looked stunned, and also…hopeful. “We could really do that?” - Buck and Eddie decide to become platonic domestic partners and co-parents. They are 100% super normal about it and absolutely nothing is awakened in them, except a mutual annoyance at being referred to as "husbros."

Love love love this series!!!

everything's coming up milhouse by hammersmiths/ @bucktommys

Post S5E10: Wrapped In Red, LAFD Liaison Eddie | 10K | Teen

LAFD Updates (@L*A*F*D_Metro) LAFD Alert: Red-level traffic on Gardiner Road this morning. If you are trying to get into the city centre consider taking Westerley Lane. buck 🔥🔥 (@firebuck) so true bestie or, Eddie mans the LAFD Twitter account. Buck tries to be supportive.

THE Twitter Eddie fic <3 just a funny social media fic but it's real cute!

let's hear it for the boy by hattalove/ @hattalove

Post-Season 5, Eddie Coming Out | 56K | Teen

in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.

Such an amazing Eddie character study/coming out fic, so good <3

The Best Lie is a Truth (My Best Mask is My Face) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Post-S5, Fake Relationship | 43K | Explicit

The Buckleys are celebrating their 50th Anniversary, and Maddie and Buck are both expected to come. To take the heat off Maddie, Buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. Obviously, there's only one solution: bring Eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. No problem, except for the, uh. "Pretend" part. Oops.

Excellent fake relationship fic!! it's got it all! Pining! Practice kissing! There was only one bed!!

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania

Post-S5, Missing Presumed Dead, Amnesia | 44K | Mature

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says. “Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says. “I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies. “Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.” An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

The angst is SO GOOD!!!! A re-read favorite.

Plus or Minus by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress

S5 | 10K | General

"Chris said you were crying. You came home, hugged him, and cried more than he’s ever seen.” Eddie considers for a moment but then shrugs and continues neatly stacking mugs in the cupboard. “It happens. Sometimes. I’ve been told I’m supposed to let it out instead of bottle it up. So. There you go.” “Why are you cleaning out the kitchen? Why is my stuff in boxes?” Eddie slows, then stops. “Figured you’d want it back.” It’s quieter. Pained. When he says it. “I haven’t decided anything. So unless you’re kicking me out—” “Buck. Come on.” He’s not angry or snapping. It’s still quiet, and somehow that hurts even more. He’s resigned and defeated, and Buck is a scooped out, gutted, hollow shell. “I know how this ends the same way you do. You want to be loved, you want to be married. You’re going to leave. Might as well…” His voice cracks before he can finish and get it under control. “Shouldn’t drag it out.” ~ Taylor is offered a job across the country and asks Buck to go with her. Buck has to figure out if he wants to start over or if he has a reason to stay right where he is.

The notes on my bookmark are: pining so good it gives you chest pains 🥺

Canon Divergent/AUs

Even in Winter There is Eranthis by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

Inspired by Hades&Persephone, Mythological AU | 45K | Explicit

Buck is supposedly a god. Supposedly. But he's got no idea what his domain is or what role he plays in Olympus. When he meets Christopher, a young boy lost and trying to find his father, he helps Chris get home - and ends up accidentally binding himself to the Underworld. Now bound to Eddie, the god of the dead, Buck must spend half the year with him in the Underworld while winter reigns above. But even as something grows between them, there are still trials to endure. Just because the gods are not mortal... does not mean they cannot die.

my words are paper tigers by hattalove/ @hattalove

Time Loop, Canon Divergent | 20K | Teen

He wakes up with Eddie's arm thrown over his waist. There's a pit in his stomach as soon as he opens his eyes, because the alarm is on again, the same radio station, the same song. The sunlight streaming into the room is buttery-soft, brand new because it's early. The alarm is ringing so they can take Chris to school. And— He reaches out for the bedside table on his side of the bed they share, clumsily unplugs his phone one-handed. The screen lights up to a familiar wallpaper, and it's right there, just above the top of Buck's head: Wednesday. or: buck breaks up with eddie, even if it means losing a part of himself, because it's the right thing to do. the universe decides to test that conviction.

I fucking love time loop fics!!! 👌

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston/ @ebjameston

Canon Divergent, S2, Ghost Buck, Witch Eddie | 41K | Teen

Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

I know you love witchy vibes and I really enjoyed this one! There's also a great podfic if you like that.

#favorites #epic buddie fic rec #buddie fanfiction #buddie fic rec #buddie fanfic #buddie fanart #buddie fic

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sanjoongie · 7 hours

Text

Duchess of Death!

☠Pairing: Butler! Jung Yunho x Duchess! Reader (f) x Cook! Jung Wooyoung

☠Au: the Duke of death and his maid anime, anime au, noble au

☠Trope: mutual pining, noble/servant

☠Genre: angst, smut

☠️Word Count: 2,136

☠Rating: 18+, MDNI

☠Warnings: the entire sexy body of Jeong Yunho described in various compromising ways, mxm, handjob, mutual masturbation, verbal instruction

☠Summary: cursed as a child to kill anything you touch, you're banished to your family's estate in the country with only your faithful Butler Yunho by your side. He knows of your curse yet does everything in his power to push your limits--just to see your reaction.

☠A/N: To the Ying to my Yang. may we never see eye to eye and always laugh despite of it 🤣🤣 you’re always there to match my level and i never feel more myself than i am with you. We may fight, and sometimes it’s nasty, but I'd like to think that sisters fight the way we do, so that always eases my heart. Please never change, you’re my world, my sun, happy birthday @mejuii

“Yunho!” You call for your butler at the piano. “My oral fixation is acting up again! Fetch me something to suck on.”

“As you wish, Your Grace.” Yunho bows his head and reaches for his pants.

You watch in horror as he unbuttons them and places both hands by his hips, about to pull down his pants, implying--

“YUNHO!” You screech, covering your eyes with your gloved hands. “Why are you like this?!”

Yunho began to button his pants back up. “Why, because your reactions are so cute, Your Grace,” Yunho chuckled.

“I'll cute you,” You say, a grumble and a warning in your tone, “without the e.”

“Oh no!” Yunho covers his mouth in a mock gasp of horror. “Not my hair, Your Grace, you swore you'd never let me cut it. Or do you mean to say you wonder if I'm cut or not? Do you think that changes the texture on your tongue?”

Your face heats up, embarrassment thrumming through your veins. “No, I did not mean that! Stop with your sexual innuendos.”

Yunho smiles, lips only pulled up at the corners in the slightest, his perfect cupid’s bow the epitome of temptation. And you will never be able to feel them against yours because of your damn curse.

When you were but a child, a witch had casted a curse on you; anything you touched would die. So you had been banished to this mansion, far from your family, with only your butler as company. It had been hard at first, to be away from your younger brother and sister but soon Yunho was the only family you needed. He eased the ache in your soul.

“Your Grace, should I prepare the afternoon tea?” Yunho wonders. “Surely you should start utilizing the new chef we hired.”

You perk up at the mention of the new cook but wilt upon realizing you couldn't even thank him properly for the meals he prepared. “No, Yunho, I’ll have my sucker for now.”

“As you will, Your Grace.” Yunho bent at the waist to bow and went to fetch the sweet concoction that would do nothing for your hunger pains.

Wooyoung, unbeknownst to you, is waiting outside the doors in anticipation. When Yunho leaves the sun room and closes the door softly, he shakes his head and Wooyoung’s shoulders fall. All they want is to serve you and you continue to keep them at arm's length--physically as well as emotionally.

Still, you cannot deny that Yunho has your heart utterly in his grasp. Whether he’s aiding you in moving the plants around to capture the sun best, or he’s tucking a blanket around you when you fall asleep in front of the fireplace, too stubborn to move to your bedroom, he’s your constant. He never leaves your side and you have come to prefer it this way. But it is still torture to know that you will never be able to touch, to kiss, to hug the one you love the most.

Then one day, a small reprieve is given to you. You had been walking the halls of your mansion, specifically making your way to the wing that held the wonderful pieces of art your family had accumulated over the centuries. They didn’t hold any value or interest to you per say, but it gave you a purpose on this day.

You scrunch your nose in confusion, tilting your head to follow the complex lines of one particular painting. Your confusion only increases as Yunho pushes into your personal space. In fear, you back up against the wall, palms pressed to the wall. Yunho slams a hand on the wall beside your head and his lip twists into a smirk.

“If I had known you wished to gaze at something beautiful, I would have volunteered myself, Your Grace.” Yunho speaks in a lilting, low voice and you feel as if you’re being hypnotized by your butler.

“Yunho!” You squeak, eyes avoiding his own.

Yunho takes the moment to eye you from bottom to top. If you had bothered to meet his gaze, you would have seen the hunger emanating from them. “What I would give to be able to pleasure you with my own hands…Your Grace.” The formality seemed to be added only because of habit.

You bit down on your lip, the feeling mutual. You breathed quickly, inhaling his dark scent that belonged only to Yunho. “Me too,” you whispered as if you couldn't bear to say it louder.

You hear pitter-pattering of feet, the screech of the sole of shoes along marble, and finally Wooyoung turns the corner. He braces himself against his thighs as he catches his breath. “....you bastard… Jeong Yunho…starting…without me!”

This causes you to meet Yunho’s eyes finally. His eyes mirror your own, wide and worried. “What is the meaning of this?” You demand.

Yunho backs off, but only slightly. “We should retire to your bed chambers first, Your Grace.” He uses his hand to point the way, bowing to a small degree and waiting for your feet to move.

You sent a look to Wooyoung, attempting to read his face, but it’s cheerfully blank now. He sends you a winning smile, however, but it only causes you to grumble. The only way you’re finding out what’s going on is by following Yunho’s lead. You’ve been down this road before.

Once in your room, Wooyoung bounced on the balls of his feet while Yunho stood still. “Your Grace, we have figured out a work-around to you not being able to touch me.”

Your eyes flew open in excitement. “You figured out how to break the curse!”

Yunho winces. “Not exactly, Your Grace.”

Wooyoung whistles, seemingly innocent. “We figured out the next best thing!”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow at Yunho.

Wooyoung caught his tongue between his teeth naughtily. “You tell me what to do to Yunho. I’ll be like an extension of your hands.”

Your jaw drops. “What?”

Yunho moves into your bubble, practically cutting off your view of Wooyoung. “I can tell you what I’d want to do to you. You would move your hands to my command. If you willed it, Your Grace.”

“Yunho…”

“Please please please!” Wooyoung begs, poking his head around Yunho’s broad body.

You take a step back and wring your hands through your gloves. “I don’t know…”

Yunho places a hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder to halt his movements. “It’s fine Wooyoung. I told you she wouldn’t want to see me in a debauched state with your hands on me.”

Your face flames up and you slap your hands to it. The pure and unadulterated image of Wooyoung grasping Yunho’s cock in his hand and Yunho’s head cast backwards in ecstasy cannot be erased from your mind’s eye.

“Wait…”

“Your Grace?” Yunho cocks his head, always waiting for your command.

“You should show me. A demonstration is in order,” You order.

Wooyoung gleefully giggles and then he’s zooming to your bed. Yunho sends you one more unreadable look and then he is moving towards your bed as well. He sits against the headrest like he belongs there. Wooyoung raises his eyebrows. “Well?”

Oh, right, you had to instruct Wooyoung. “Ummm… unbutton Yunho’s shirt first.”

Wooyoung clucks his tongue at you. “Tell us how you’d do it, Your Grace.”

“I…I would lean in to take in Yunho’s smell and then unbutton his shirt. Slowly.” How were you going to do this and not end up a puddle on the floor?!

“Ooooh!” Wooyoung leans towards Yunho’s neck and takes a deep breath. “He does smell good.” Wooyoung’s deft fingers pluck at Yunho’s vest and shirt until it’s gaping open for your viewing pleasure. “What next, what next?” Wooyoung looks at you eagerly.

You find yourself climbing onto your bed, legs splaying under your body at the foot of it. Wooyoung unbuttons Yunho’s trousers next and pulls him out. Yunho is already hard and impressively long.

“I’d torture him. I’d run my hand up and down his shaft for hours, to hear his pretty moans just for me,” You whisper and then you clamp your hands over your mouth.

Wooyoung’s smile couldn't have been more full of teasing. “Your Grace knows exactly what she wants.” Wooyoung wraps his hand around Yunho and strokes him slowly, achingly slow.

Yunho swallows loudly and lets out a devastating moan. It’s exactly like you imagined in your bed, late at night, when you would touch yourself after a hard day of teasing from Yunho. It was exactly what you wanted to hear.

“Your…Grace…” Yunho attempts to pull himself out of the lust he’s feeling from Wooyoung’s hand. “Please imagine my hands skimming up your legs and playing with your most intimate parts. I want to see my fingers pushing in and out of your sweet hole.”

You press your lips together in nervousness. Could you really touch yourself in front of both Wooyoung and Yunho? Wooyoung jerks his chin, as if to say “get on with it!” and you scowl at him, sticking your tongue childishly at him. Still, you remove your gloves, a wary eye on how far the two men are from you.

You pull your petticoats up, spreading your legs, and let your fingers play along your thighs. They skim and tempt and then finally you reach your mound. You move your hands to your hips to pull down your undergarments but Yunho’s grunt stops you.

“Don’t,” he says hoarsely. “Keep them on.”

You push them to the side instead, wetting your finger along your folds, before pushing one into you. “Wha-what next?”

Wooyoung is biting his lip, tempted by both the pleasure he’s giving Yunho and the picture you’re giving him, fingers inside of yourself. Yunho’s chest is moving up and down quickly, like he can’t catch his breath. “I would bring you to as many orgasms as I could give you,” He growls.

Wooyoung tsks at Yunho this time. “She needs direction, Yunho, not a prediction of your sex life.”

Yunho spares Wooyoung a harsh glare before focusing on you. His eyes follow your fingers and you swear he gains some energy and confidence from it. “I would make you feel every inch of my fingers inside of you.”

It’s your turn to gulp. “Fingers?” You squeak.

Wooyoung grins. “You heard the butler. Better put another finger inside of yourself, Your Grace.”

You groan as you stretch yourself with two fingers. It feels good to do as Yunho says and you get a little excited, pumping your fingers inside of you faster. “So good.”

“Your Grace,” Yunho moans, “Please, can you play with my head?”

“Oh Yunho,” You gasp.

Wooyoung, after a quick nod from you, rolls his palm along the head of Yunho’s cock, causing Yunho to jolt. His hands fist your expensive Italian silk sheets in response. “Your Grace, your hands feel lovely on me. I’m sure they’re soft and small but so good to me.”

“Yun-Yunnie,” You mewl in response. “Need you. Need you so badly.”

“Co-come with me, Your Grace. Let us climax together!” Yunho cries out.

You focus purely on coming from your butler. You thrust your fingers in and out of your sopping hole. You aggressively rub your clit as well, chasing that high that’s just out of the reach. Wooyoung’s fist quickly makes good work of Yunho and soon the two of you are coming together. Yunho’s gravelly groan makes your cunt clench around your fingers and you come with a long, drawn out whine.

All three of you are panting in need but you are well aware that there is no step after this; this is as far as you can go. Until you break the curse, until you can touch Yunho without killing him, this is the most you can manage.

“We’re doing this again,” Wooyoung, of all people, declares. “I’m going to make us food. You two talk.” And with all the energy of a whirlwind, Wooyoung is gone with the quiet hush of a closed door.

You push your skirts down and Yunho tucks himself back into his pants. “Your Grace? Was that enjoyable for you? Please tell me it pleased you.”

You smiled through unshed tears. “It was wonderful, Yunho.”

“Your Grace.” Yunho’s voice is hoarse. He reaches out but lets his hand fall before he can touch you. “We will break this curse. I will marry you and we will be together in every way we’ve always dreamed.”

“I hope so Yunho, I truly do,” You sob.

The two of you sit there, embracing each other with your eyes only, for that’s all you can do. Until Yunho suggests that he touch himself again to get you to stop crying. That is when you choke out a laugh and throw a pillow at him. And all is well in the household of the duchess of death and her butler.

#cultofdionysusnet #pirateeznet #jeong yunho x reader #jeong yunho smut #yunho smut #ateez smut #atz smut #topaz's work #ღatz #recent #my sunshine 🌞

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