#sometimes the best way to fix a cycle of toxicity is just break it

[elysiumblue]

Pick a card - What chapter you need to burn down? 🔥

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last posted here. It’s because I am working a full time job now. I wanted to do a general reading for you all in the full moon in Aries so badly but unfortunately I didn’t have the stamina to do it that time. However, I believe that it’s never too late to throw some pages of the old chapter to fuel the new chapter. That’s why I still decided to do the general reading I intended for the full moon in Aries now.

I hope the quality of the reading is still here and I am still helpful for you all. Or maybe better, that I become better at doing reading as I make some personal progress. Anyway, I hope this reading can bring some positive changes to you.

As this is a general reading, just take what resonates and leave the rest behind! Don’t force things to fit your situation if it’s not making any sense at all! Also, sometimes you may pick the wrong pile so maybe you can pick another one if this happens.

👇🏻 Pick an image that you felt drawn to 👇🏻

And find the corresponding reading for you below!

Pile 1

I can see that you are swinging between two options, deciding whether you should continue tolerating and use your skills to try fix or slowly nudge a situation to a better direction, or just fuck it and tell those who are messing around and making all this mess to fuck off. The first option may probably be what you always do, while it's like the first time the second option comes up in your head. This reading is to tell you to try a new approach and just go with the second option.

You have dimmed your light and lower yourself for others for too long. You may probably brainwash yourself that it is a service for others so you can feel better when doing this. You feel barely good enough to continue the things you're doing, but you don't really want to continue repeating this as it never truly makes you happy. To be honest, it's even tiring to always be the one that fixes things, or at least have the expectation to do that. This reading is a call for you to stop this behaviour.

This is a lesson for you to understand your value, and to respect yourself. Those people are sent to your life to remind you how ridiculous it is to disrespect yourself and tolerate them. It's almost like the universe is trying to give you a lesson in a "funny" way. If you continue taking yourself as a joke and help those people to wipe their asses, the universe will continue laughing at you. I can see that you have skills and knowledge and even the correct timing to break from this cycle, so it's time to stop carrying the burdens of others and live for yourself.

Yes, you don't have to wait for the correct timing and continue perfecting the plan to fix whatever problems or people, because the perfect timing is literally here and the best action to take is to quit and say goodbye to those people. Maybe all that waiting is just an excuse to procrastinate, because you don't feel that you're good enough to be on your own. However, it really seems that it's worse if you continue sticking with people that just stay here to mess things up. You may not be perfect now, but you can take steps to be more perfect by being better, like taking the better option instead of settling with a worse choice.

You have the power to make a change for yourself on your own, just like how you believe you have the power to help fix all those problems from others yourself when no one cares to help you or even themselves. You are always strong enough, so why use all these power to be a doormat under people's feet, when you can stand so tall and touch the stars.

You really deserve better than this.

(It is a confirmation that you will be successful on your own. For some of you, I can see that the song is an indication of a toxic partner keep clinging on you, hoping that you can fix all their problems by providing all the help you can offer, but is never appreciative, or it feels that it's never enough no matter how much you've done. It's time to leave them if that's the case. They may be able to cause some damage to your reputation for now, but I can really feel that you can pull off stuff much shadier than them, that can guarantee they never mess with you again, if they dare to do a thing to you. 💀)

Pile 2

Although I cannot see the specific situation you're in, I can see that you're stuck in some sort of cycle that has repeated for way too many times. You may think that continue to go with the flow is much easier, as you have done it so many times before. However, this time, you're too exhausted to go through this again. It's like the first time you sincerely want to take a break from that. This reading is here to confirm that you can indeed take a break from that, and even better, the break will be forever.

It's really just a choice to step out from the cycle. The only one thing that stops you from getting out of this loop is you believing that it's impossible that change can be instant, or the fear of quick changes. If you believe in this, then you should be reminded that the step you took into this cycle was a quick change too, like the moment you started working at this company, or the moment you confirmed that you want to commit to this relationship. You're able to adapt to such a sudden change that well, or probably too well in the past, why can't you believe that you can do this again?

If you don't believe that you have the ability to make a choice, then you're correct because it's actually not a choice. You must and will get out of the situation soon. It's something that you must face, so this reading is actually just here to remind you to be prepared for the change, so you can feel better when the breaking of the cycle happens, instead of mourning the end of it (which is pretty pointless).

If time can really heal and numb all the emotions, why are you still feel bad for yourself? Why those monsters keep chasing you even when you're in your dreams? This is an indicator that you're not here to suffer and be stuck in this cycle. You're here for something better, so celebrate and embrace it when the start of a new chapter arrives.

(Surrender to the changes is the message I get from the song. Don't struggle when it comes.)

Pile 3

It's time to stop the fight. If it's impossible for you to tell the other person to stop or make them change, you can stop all these by stepping away from this relationship.

I can see that you probably suffered a lot from your person. (which may be a romantic partner, a platonic friend or maybe a sibling) However, no matter how many times they hurt you and disappointed you, you always try to believe that it's not their intention to harm you, and you're always trying to find some lesson to learn in the situation. Your attitude is admirable, and it also makes you grow so fast, and make so much progress in your journey. But this also makes you walk so faraway from your person. You may think that you two are still physically together and believe that things can continue to be as it is in the past, but you failed to realize how much you've changed, and how little they've improved.

If they're really capable of improving themselves, why are they still like that after all these years, while you already gone through multiple lessons in the same situation? It's a wake up call for you that you're better off without them because time has proven that you're not the one to help them or save them. They won't change even you wait for a couple more years or even decades, but you have the ability to make a change now. Even if it's not an instant cut of the relationship, at least you can make a change in your mindset.

You have to appreciate what you have done, and realize, learn the value of yourself. You managed to shine so bright even when you're with someone that dims your shine. It's because you have a beautiful soul and a strong will. They contributed nothing to your growth, as they're not even strong enough to hide your glow. You don't need them. You don't have to be with them.

(It's a cool song but here I see this as an indicator of a toxic relationship. You believe your destiny is bounded with this monster of a person who harms you multiple times. It's time to wake up and run away from the danger, instead of wasting time to fight with them.)

#tarot reading #pick a card #general tarot reading #Spotify

[starshipsofstarlord]

Could I request a Bucky Barnes x reader smut? Basically she and Bucky have been together for some time and maybe it’d be a little angst where the two are talking about the future and Bucky not thinking he can ever have a normal future? Which would result in soft smut and later reader being revealed as pregnant so Bucky finally gets his family

I’m Home

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | based on the request ^^

Warnings | angst, smut, oral sex (m receiving), fluff, pregnancy, mentions of death

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

The Wilson’s boat rocked sturdily upon the water, swaying as the boats worked aboard. Your hand held the weight of a silver spanner, twirling it in your fist as though it were a knife, thinking of the long road ahead of you. Sam had the shield now, that was a good start, but still, there was a ways to go until the world recognised him as the captain that he was meant to be.

There was so much destruction ongoing in the world, what with the flag smashers, and whomever the power broker was, and surely, you knew on the shallow surface, that there would be masses more problems to arise. It was exhausting, to know that there was no end to the war on earth, and that you were surely going to be fighting the threats until you could no more.

Bucky felt the same; he had just gone from one war to another, losing everyone that he cared about along the way. Steve had given everything up to finally find peace, and yet, the two did not share the same opportunity. An escape was never laid at your feet, instead, the pair of you were trapped in the cycle of cruelty, being blended around in a shredder by reality.

“Hey.” A voice confiscated you from the lonesome containment of your thoughts; it was Sam’s hosting sister, Sarah. I’m her own way, though you doubted that she would never admit such a thing, she was a hero. She had become a widow, and not to mention she remained a stable mother to keep her boys afloat, as well as nurturing half the kids that lived within close proximity.

“Hi Sarah.” You put the tool down, giving her your ample attention as you stood, tugging your fingers into the loops of your jeans as you stepped out of the boat, and onto the dock. “Anything I can help with?” It hadn’t passed your attention that Sam and Bucky had disappeared, but not into ash like last time. Instead, they had walked off in the direction of the house, most likely meddling about with a ball, in the back yard with Jim and Jody.

“I just came to let you know I’ve made the sofa up for you and Bucky. Are you sure you’ll be all good, I could always kick Sam outta his bed and make him sleep on the living room floor?” The two of you had nightmares, if you were to be separated from him for even a night, it was certain that the pair of you would greatly suffer. That was something you didn’t want to burden any of the Wilson’s with, screaming in the middle of the night because flashes from your past struck an unconscious nerve.

“All good, and thank you Sarah. You didn’t have to let us stay here, we both appreciate it, a hell of a lot.” One thing that you had learnt throughout your years was to show gratitude. The smallest amount shared had the ability to spring up moods, and had even set you on a much more heroic path than the one that you had been originally been placed upon.

“You’ve earned your stay.” Sam’s sister shrugged with modesty, acknowledging the help that you and Bucky had not only given to Sam, but to her family’s legacy. The two of you had aided with fixing the old wreckage that had now returned to the form of a boat, keeping it afloat rather than permitting it to sink from the quarrels that Sam had with himself regarding fixing the damned yet meaningful port of transport.

“This life you have, it’s great. I get it’s not easy, but it’s beautiful. You have two wonderful kids, that you’ve done such a great job raising, and not to mention, these community that you have is so loving and kind, even to us outsiders.” The pair of you had paused outside of her front door, speaking. “Sam is lucky to have you, he truly is.”

“Well, maybe one day this life could be something similar to what you’ll have.” The sister of your friend smiled, though your mirroring expression retracted. In a stumble of thought, you shook your head, not believing that possibility. This all was... perfect. That was something that you had never had, nor would you think that you’d ever be permitted such a peaceful lifestyle.

“I don’t think that would work out.” You sincerely mumbled, feeling the sad swelling in your chest at the prospect of all the luxuries that life had denied both you and Bucky of. It wasn’t fair all the same, but the two of you were used to being denied human rights, let alone the simplicity of nothing more than a life together. “As nice as it sounds, me and Buck aren’t really cut out for all this I suppose.”

“The world does not choose who can and cannot have a family, there’s always a way. Just because you haven’t had the most ideal line of story does not at all mean that you can’t make it work, from as much as i know, you two deserve a life together, that doesn’t include being shot at, or shooting at other people. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta go for it, and hope for the best.” She gave you a final nod, before heading inside, and you trailed after her into her her residency.

The two of you went your separate ways, and there, you saw Bucky, sat up on the sofa, his hands clasped together as his eyes stared towards the tan bag, that concealed not the shape, but the Stars and Stripes of the infamous shield. It was much a relief that it was no longer in Walker’s toxic clutch, however its presence, among other things, were taking a clear toll on your boyfriend.

“You ever feel like we’re stuck?” The air was tense around you both as he spoke solemnly, it diverting to match the mood of his question. “Like we’re us, and I love us, but it makes me think that it’s it. Just me and you, on this path for the rest of our lives, never getting a compensated break, nor an average person’s future. I want this, what these people here have, not the combat that is aided by this metal arm, or the associations that stick to us like life lines.”

“All the time, it’s on my mind James.” With a sigh, you came to sit beside him on the couch, resting your head against his bionic shoulder. “I ever wonder if there’s a timeline of you and me where there’s none of this ruckus, we just have a nice little house in a quiet and accepting place, and maybe a kid or two in the future.”

“I’d give anything up for that.” He looked at you, almost wide eyed, as his hand slithered down onto your knee cap, rubbing small circles as he wore a blunt and endearing smile upon his infatuating lips. “I mean that Buck, that sounds...”

“Perfect?” He asked, leaning closer as he grabs your chin with his wondrous fingers, his nose brushing alongside your own as his puckered lips fell upon yours, earning a small hun of content from within you. “Because you’re perfect to me, and no matter what life we are encased in, I want to share it with you. I want stare at the night sky and watch the moonlight illuminate the side of your face, and the stars reflect in your entrapping eyes, that I want to look into like a medium’s orbs forever, because that is how I will see the future that I ever so hope for.”

“How long have you been working on that one Barnes, because you are usually not that smooth?” A small laugh erupted from your mouth, but you were quickly silenced as you felt a cold metal hand slither up and beneath the back of your tank top, rubbing along the seam of your spine, as his lips ran down the column of your throat, evoking small and delicate whimpers out of you.

“Shut up doll, because I really want to fuck you now, and those words leaving your mouth are making it kinda hard to concentrate.” A furrow imbedded between his brows, as you tilted your head at him, a smirk proclaiming your expression as you pulled the material over your head, and reached behind yourself to unclip the back of your bra.

“Kinda hard to concentrate, hun?” You asked nonchalantly as his gaze zeroed in on your bare breasts, his hands smoothing along your ribcage as he adjusted his grip of you so that he was palming at your breasts, and squeezing the nipples. “I want you in me baby, I’ve practically gone days without you inside of me.” Licking your lips, you reached down to palm your beloved through his layers, earning a positive groan from the former assassin.

“Hours, you mean. I fingered you on the road trip here.” Yes, that was true, however, it was only his fingers, not even the metal ones, and whilst you loved what they alone could do, he had to be discreet as you were sat on the back of the truck, which had carried the primary parts for the Wilson’s family boat. If you were to scream out, they’d have surely thought that you’d fallen off the back of the truck and pull over, or if they had much sense, they’d have noticed that there was more going on than two passengers sat side by side on the journey to their small neighbourhood by the docks,

“You heard me Barnes, otherwise I’m sure Sam wouldn’t have any problem if I came to his room in this state of undress that I am currently portraying.” Growling was never Bucky’s fortes, however the sound aggressively ripped through the tunnel of his throat, as he threw off his grey top, quickly unfastening his belt, as he awaited for you to strip the rest of your clothing before him.

But rather than doing so, as he stood before you, your hand had trouble resisting the sight of his cock that had bobbed to attention, and thus, you wrapped it around his toned flesh, giving it a couple jerks that had his head reeling back, before you tongued his tip, moaning to yourself at the taste of him invading your sensitive taste buds. “Love your cock.”

As soon as you said that, Bucky gently gathered your head in a ponytail so that it was free from bombarding your face, and groaned as quiet as he could as you sucked him in your mouth, running your tongue up the side of his shaft. “Is that a part of your dream world baby doll, the sight of my cock throbbing to be inching down that perfect little throat of yours?”

To answer him, you pressed your head down deeper, humming around him as your eyes ogled up at the sight of your super soldier, who was trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, and attuned to the sight of you. He held his bottom lip between his teeth, as you lightly gagged around him, pulling off him, and squeezing his balls, before running your hungry tongue along the middle of his sack.

“Always. It would be a dream if you made love to me right here and now though, I’m not sure I can wait any longer James.” Bucky took a long inhale, before ravishingly pulling down your jeans and panties in one go, and tossing you so that he was below your form, and you hovered over him, toying with his erect cock. “I love you so much Bucky, and I’m scared of what’s to come. I have a feeling that there’s gonna be a fight.”

“There’s always a fight doll face.” He rubbed his thumb soothingly across your jaw, pulling your hips down closer so that you were rubbing your slick folds against his standing cock. “But this is what we’re fighting for, the rest of our lives together. I’d be damned, one day after this, and if I were to die, I’d be a happy man. There’d be the memory of you to keep me forever happy in the afterlife, and not to mention, there’d be no more wars for me to participate in.”

“I’m not going to let you die Buck, even hypothetically. We saw how your little hypothetical synopsis went last time.” Tapping his cock against your clit, a breathy sound evicted from your lips, as you stared down at the two of you intimately touching, the sight alone making you more turned on and impatient. “No one is allowed to kill you, otherwise I’ll unleash hell on all their flag smashing asses.”

Giving him one last stroke, you guided his tip towards your entrance, removing your hand once you had him situated, so that you could rest it upon his sturdy shoulder, and sink down on him, the feeling of him stretching you being the most euphoric sensation that you had ever endured. Hushed moans ceased from the both of you, as Bucky’s hands gripped your ass cheeks, only adding to all of the pleasure that was erupting within you.

“Think your pussy is gonna kill me before anyone else does; your so tight.” His pitch had rose, as your fingertips danced along the left side of his handsome face, invisibly connecting the dots of his beauty marks. You allowed the pair of you to adjust for a simple moment, before you began to raise your hips, sliding up his super soldier rod, only to slide down it again.

The actions were repeated, as your own hands trailed down his warm skin, to drag down the golden lines of his vibranium arm, only to bring the weapon to your mouth, and kiss every black finger up, as you tried your best to muffle the moans that were hoping to reap free. “So fucking big, I love you and your cock.” You muttered, your sight turning blurry as Bucky realised that it was his turn to do the work, and thus, he thrusted up into you, making echoing sounds of your skin slapping together reverberate around the room.

“Love you more.” He gritted his teeth, pulling his metallic hand away from your numb lips, so that he could swirl the elegant digits around your clit, the action provoking whimpers to rapidly surpass your exterior, as you bit harshly onto your own lip, and screwed your eyes shut. “Cum for me doll, want you to cover my hard cock in everything you have. Come on baby, you can do it.”

Without much thought, as your mind was too scrambled to do so, you reached for Bucky’s spare hand, pulling it to your mouth as you sucked on his fingers as though you were blowing him. A low moan that was dialled down from the presence of his flesh digits, ran from your mouth, as you began to bounce your hips, chasing and eventually reaching your high. You came around him, pushing him too over the edge, his seed filling your walls, as you collapsed atop of him, huffing from exhaustion as you removed his salivated hand from the realms of your mouth, resting your head against his panting chest.

Stringed sighs fell from Bucky’s breath as he tried to catch his own breath. His hands rubbed your back, not only to comfort you, but also to subconsciously pull you closer against him, and his softening cock that was still inside you, and was keeping his cum plugged within your tender and pulsating walls. If life was easier, there’d be more time for this, and that, but for now, it was just every now and then. Maybe you’d win this fight and survive until the next one, but maybe, you’d lose and never battle again.

Life was precious, that was something that you had not only learned as an avenger, but also something that had been told to you by Isiah. That man thought that you deserved a normal life, no fighting, no super soldiers. He himself was the biggest yet silent critic of those with additional strength, but his opinion was never going to sway you, not as you stared out into Sarah’s backyard, and watched the man that you loved play with the boys.

They had the shield, and were whisking it through the air like a frisbee; dangerous, yes, but again, life could only amount to so much without an ounce of pain. A content and satisfied smile absorbed any pain on your face, you were enraptured with the sight of Bucky like this, he was like an uncle to these two kids. He was no captain America, that was for sure, but you didn’t want a man in Stars and Stripes, all you wanted was him to be at peace, and it was a fact unbeknownst to him, that you had made such an alternative to that.

“Still want all this?” Sarah emerged, a cheap yet formidable bottle of wine pursed in her hand, as she held two clear and tall glasses in her hand. You hummed, watching as she poured the thin red consistency into one glass, but as she went to fill the other, you held out your hand, shaking your head. The woman was confused, last time you had visited, and were entangled on her sofa with the limbs of your boyfriend and a shaggy old blanket, you had kindly accepted her offer.

“Sure do.” You sighed, staring out into the green abyss where Jim was hanging from Bucky’s arm like it were a branch. “How do you do this, this whole mother thing? I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how you make it look so easy, it’s just, you do such a good job.” Your palms rested flat on your thighs as you laughed at Sam ordering Jody to jump on Bucky’s back, as he fell down in faux defeat.

“It never is easy y/n.” She placed the open bottle down, along with the mismatched glasses, that were asymmetrical considering one was half filled and the other wallowed in emptiness. “But every step of difficulty is worth it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss their father, but they’re my priority. For Jim and Jody, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do, and you’d understand that if you ever opened yourself up to giving your life of heroism up to have all this.”

“I might have to.” Twiddling with your fingers, glancing up at your boyfriend, realising that he was in fact not looking over, you clasped your intwined hands over your stomach, smiling softly to yourself. “And maybe not having another option is the best option for me and Buck, because we don’t have to fight with ourselves over being included in our duties, we have new ones.”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sarah asked, resting her nurturing hand upon the tile of your shoulder, prompting you to turn your face towards her. There was a conflict in your eyes, it was something that she recognised her younger self having once worn. It was the idea of putting everything aside, all for a child, everything that she had ever known, so that she could put her baby boy first. “Does Bucky know?”

“He will.” You shifted your head down, unsure of yourself. This had been what you had wanted, and whilst you still envied Sarah for the role she had, you were hurt. A part of you wanted to be an avenger until you were nothing but a soul drifting in the abyss of non existence, another didn’t want to let the knowledge of being a carrier for a new future crumble you. “I just need a moment to tell him.”

“I’ve got it.” She sent you a wink, picking up the items she had brought out, before she called on Sam and the kids to come inside. Sarah had gifted you the opportunity of revealing the truth to your partner with no one else around; you appreciated that. As he stalked closer, you met him halfway, sinking into his arms as he hugged you.

“Looked like you were having fun with the boys.” You verbally noted, loving the feeling of him running his fingers through your hair. “You’re amazing Bucky Barnes, to me and to everyone. I just, don’t want you to freak out on me, I have something big, really big, to tell you, and-“

“Baby, I know.” He smiled, pulling back so that he could look you in the face. “I have super human senses, I heard their little heart beat for the first time yesterday. We’re having a baby, and I couldn’t be happier about it. In fact, I want to ask you if you’ll accept my question of making Sam the godfather.” You nodded, tears standing in your eyes, as you brought the man down for a kiss.

“Yes. But I’m not sure that he’ll be praising us for making a baby when we technically created him or her on the couch inside.” Bucky shook his head at you, kissing your forehead before walking inside with you, preparing to tell the Wilson family, that had along the way became your own, the good news- well, not the sofa bit.

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes imagine #bucky oneshot #bucky imagine #bucky reader insert #bucky x pregnant!reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes request #imagines #imagine #xreader #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes ff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader

[tomodachi-z]

A different take on their relationships

So I was scrolling through the genshin thread and soon came to a realization that most of the relationship Hc’s were pretty fluff based, which got me thinking - was that really all there was?  Even if Genshin was a heartfelt game i couldnt really believe that all of them would be pure husband material - which sort of spiraled into this.

- This is purely my take on how some of the Genshin boys would approach relationships, its just some random thoughts though so take it as you will.

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe

Tw: angst, abuse, toxic relationships, mentions of death, just overall scummy behavior.

Slight NSFW

Minors DNI

Zhongli

Honestly, out of the whole lot of them i think he’d be the most civil. Apart from his bad traits that is.

First of all I dont believe Zhongli would actively pursue a relationship, however he would be open to it, though the chances of it being a special “love at first sight” is practically zero. Hes lived thousands of years and seen humanity evolve as a whole, hes met millions of people over the years and peoples faces really arent that different, they just blur together at this point. So if we were to go by that logic, his love interest would have to be someone he interacts with on a day to day basis - or at the very least weekly.

If he was starting to develop an attachment to you, I believe he would also be fairly upfront about it, asking you out and courting you wouldn't be anything new, he’s had lovers before after all.

But this is where it starts to get a bit off-putting. Even if your relationship is sailing along fine, he’d still compare it to the others he’s had. Your taste in clothing, your choice of books, how you style your hair. Every now and again he’d utter something like “Ah ___ used to style their hair like that.” Or “Your eyes are so familiar, just like ___...” in which case the blank space is a previous lovers name. Not that he’d divulge that to you. Even if you ask him about the people he keeps mentioning he’d brush you off and change the subject. Though sometimes he forgets himself and calls you by a different name.

He would also never tell you he’s a God. And you wouldn’t find out either.

 Hes hidden it from the whole of Liyue, why would you be any different? His role as Archon was over anyway so there would be no point to it.

So you would live your life never finding out about him, not ever truly reaching his heart, because his heart is already filled to the brim with memories, and whatever little space you occupy there would also fade along with your passing. You would have no children, for I truly believe that Zhongli just would not want children, his one and only child would remain Liyue, and your name would be uttered in passing, when he confuses his next lover with you.

Happy Ending?

Zhongli would still love you

He would cherish and comfort you

But there was nothing in this world more lonely than immortality.

He would love again but it would only repeat the cycle unless he truly comes to terms with himself.

It would take a lot of time, perhaps even an eternity, but I believe that his past relationships would actually help him realize something.

That even though humans were much the same he loved you all individually.

At the end of time he would recount each one of your names, in the hopes that you would take him with you, so that he could finally apologize.

Diluc

I honestly believe he just does not want a relationship. Not now anyway, not when hes 20+ years old. So the thought of him forming a crrush on you or any sort of real romantic attachment would also be pretty slim. He’d be your friend, sure, your best friend even, but when it comes to being your boyfriend? It wouldn’t be what you think it is.

If he does form a relationship with you its because you confessed, and you asked him whether or not he was willing to give it a go, and considering you already know each other so well he didn't really see a reason why not. Though it wasn't out of love that he’d agree.

I do believe that he’d still be a gentleman, he would send you flowers, and he would take you on walks, he would also give you gifts, but all of those were just out of courtesy. He was taught to behave like a gentleman, and so he would.

He would never be available, always working, always busy, never in a good mood. “Don't bother me, I'm busy.” He’d coldly order. And if you tried to do something nice to him like cook him a meal whilst he’s working he’d just tell you not to bother, the butler can make it better than you so why even try.

You would be a hitch in his schedule, an added task every day, another time consuming detail he had to take into consideration. But considering he was the one who agreed to the whole idea, he would simply have to deal with it.

As for intimacy, it would be rare. He’d kiss you just because he was curious how it would feel, he’d fuck you just because you asked him to, and sure he might have enjoyed it, you even said you enjoyed it, but it wouldn't become a regular thing between you two. He would come home exhausted, sore and half asleep, so on most days you can expect him to share simple words of greeting before he falls asleep.

If you got tired of it he would just let you go, both of you could see it wasn't working, so why bother try to fix it. You deserve better than him, a man that would love and cherish you, but right now, he simply cannot.

Those are your parting words, he wishes you luck and thanks you for your patience, whether or not you remain friends after that is really up to you.

Happy Ending?

What Diluc needs more than anyone else is time

Time to really heal

Time to forgive himself

Time to start loving the world again.

And I believe he would learn to do those things if time was given.

He would one day realize that his heart yearned for something other than day to day work, something that you tried to show him long ago.

He would fall in love eventually, perhaps not with you, but he would finally open his heart.

He would love earnestly and faithfully till the end of his days.

Kaeya

He’s well known as a flirt in Mondstat, he’s slept with people around town and chances are that’s how he first met you. Whether you slept with him or rejected him didn’t matter, what he was after was your looks after all.

He’d seduce you with praise and compliments, he’d lavish you with gifts and roses, as long as you give him something in return that is.

If you didn’t it wouldn’t really bother him much, he’d simply abandon the thought of you and turn his eyes on another pretty face, if you ever ask him about why he suddenly stopped he’d respond with “I don’t like wasting my time sweetheart.”

However if you give in to his seductions I believe he would eventually start enveloping the idea about being your boyfriend, the idea of you being his and him being yours was tempting for sure. It would take a while but he would also stop flirting so shamelessly with other people, he no longer saw a reason for it now that you were his after all.

But he would never truly yield his heart to you, always keeping secrets, always masking his emotions with sly words. I don’t think he’d ever really open up about his past or about the depths of his mind. But he would love you, and he would protect you, he would cherish you the only way he knew how, by keeping you in the dark, lest you regret your decision in loving him.

Happy ending?

His habits would change as he grows older

They would truly shift when he sees his first child in your arms.

He would cry, not even knowing why

He would fall so helplessly in love with the thought of a happy future and he would be terrified by it

But if you stay by his side, if you make him believe he can have a happy life and a future with you

He would give you the world, if only you make him believe those words.

Childe

Honestly the worst out of all of them.

Now, I firmly believe that he also would not pursue a romantic relationship if given a choice, but his heart is fickle and easily swayed by his own emotions, so when he sees you pop up every now and again he’d undoubtedly would act on his feelings.

He’d charm you, wine and dine you and treat you like a princess if you so wished. He would make sure you had everything you had ever wanted, he’d make promises of love and marriage, but after he gets what he wants, he would leave you.

Just like that, without a word, without a note, nothing. So when you see him after months of confusion, guilt and regret you would ask him why he had left, and all he would say is “What else did you expect?” He’s a Fatui after all, and he has no time for thoughts of tomorrow or promises for the future. His eyes would hold no warmth as he noted that the interaction was rather fair in his eyes, he had treated you like a princess after all.

He has no time to think of anyone else but his family and his duty to Tsaritsa, you were just a toy he liked playing with for a while till you got boring, now move before he breaks you.

Happy Ending?

Now I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone

Even for someone like Childe

But that someone would have to be exceptional - someone with a commanding sense of self respect, someone with purpose and belief, someone with a fate of their own.

They wouldn't have to be a fighter or even an adventurer, but they would have to be a force of their own to be able to show Childe what kind of life he was truly living.

He knew he was in hell, but meeting someone like that would make it all the more apparent

But if they reached out their hand to him, if they gave him a chance.

He believed he would see a world in colors he never knew existed.

And he would love truly and openly, he would shed his heart to them and only them.

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #childe #diluc #zhongli #kaeya #kaeya x you #zhongli x you #childe x you #diluc x you #genshin angst #tw

[h34rtizuku]

𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔶

i hate angst without happy endings, but i’m also self-destructive. therapy is expensive, but ripping your own heart out and bearing your insecurities into a full-fledged story for you and others to read? free.

warnings : angst without a happy ending, insecurities, jealousy, mayhaps toxic behavior?? idk if ur looking for a good time, this isn’t for you bestie <3 also i might misspell uraraka’s name wrong a few times, i’ll fix them later :*

being quirkless had its advantages. with such a small number of us being born without powers, it left a lot of the mundane jobs open.

which is why, as soon as pro-hero deku opened his agency, i came to him with the request to be his assistant.

on the daily, he had people coming up to him asking for internships or to be his sidekick. but he never had anyone ask to be his assistant.

being the number one hero often meant that every day things, things one may take for granted or deem insignificant became just another list of things on the busy man’s to-do list.

therefore the appeal of having someone file his paper work and run to get him coffee in the morning was great enough to hire me.

and i was glad he did.

this is what i have been working for since i was a first year in high school. after watching the freckled boy break limb after limb to defeat his opponent.

yeah, i saw it as irresponsible and stupid that he had to break his own body to save others. but i was willing to overlook it.

my one goal during my remaining years of high school and up to college was that wherever that little green haired boy went, i would follow.

and that reigned true as his assistant. i would shuffle after him like a duckling following it’s mother, wherever he needed me.

if he needed me in a briefing to take notes for him, i was there. if he needed me to put in overtime to help him file the last minute paperwork, i was there. if he wanted a particular pastry from a specific bakery half way across town, i was there.

izuku was never mean, or demanding. always thanking me profusely for anything i ever did for him. leaving me to remind him that this was my job, and any way to make his life easier was good enough for me.

but maybe i should have held onto those blushed cheeks and crinkled eyes as he thanked me for the coffee that he didn’t even know he needed, for a just a little bit longer.

you know how a child will open a new toy on christmas and it quickly becomes their new favorite toy? playing with it non-stop, taking it wherever they go. until one day, they grow bored of it and never touch it again as it grows dusty at the bottom of their toy bin.

i know izuku wasn’t doing it on purpose, he didn’t have an intentionally mean bone in his body. i guess you could say, some other toys came around and took his attention away.

and that toy, was a particularly difficult mission in collaboration with uravity’s agency.

the two spent long hours cooped in his office as they went over notes, plans, intel, etc. until the conversation melted into talk about the old days and the wonderful memories they had together in high school.

i went to work the following days with absolutely no energy to handle whatever would be thrown at me. i hadn’t been able to get much sleep, as when i closed my eyes the only thing i could see was the look in his eyes when he saw her.

my patience was already thin given the events of the most recent week, but when the printer started malfunctioning leaving me unable to fax the papers izuku wanted me send, you could say that was the first domino.

i swatted and kicked and pressed any button on the stupid machine. telling myself i was merely trying to get to stupid thing to work, but deep down i knew that the printer was just my temporary punching bag. an outlet to unleash my anger and emotions onto something instead of letting them fester inside me.

so when one of izuku’s sidekicks came by, giving a snarky comment about my behavior, i was able to brush it off with a roll of my eyes and an equally snippy comment back.

but as the hunk of plastic remained steady in its plan to ruin my day, the lack of sleep and lingering resentment started to bubble within me once more.

i heard footsteps behind me and a joking voice say, “having a bit of trouble are we?”

if it weren’t for the white hot anger buzzing in my ears i may have been able to identify the voice before i lashed out on them. but we already established this was not my day.

so as my hands moved to clutch the machine below me, most likely to restrain my abuse to merely verbal instead of physical. i spit out, “listen i’m fucking trying okay? so how about you get off my ass and do something useful.”

i turned around to face who i thought would be another sidekick sent to push my buttons. but i instead came face-to-face with the green haired man himself.

eyes blown wide, mouth agape in shock, a light blush dusted under his freckles as he fought to handle the situation the best way he could.

but i beat him to it with a deep bow and an endless flow of apologies, opting to only blame my anger on the malfunctioning piece of junk behind me and not the several other reasons i was plotting murder in my head.

with a gentle smile and a soft chuckle he placed his hand to the back of his head, rubbing at the baby jade hairs of his undercut. “i see. bad days happen to the best of us.” he replied, his voice like honey.

i became drunk on the minor interaction he was giving me, bringing me back to the beginning days at this job where we would spend late nights trying to keep each other awake under the only singular yellow light as we finished paperwork. or where sometimes he’d invite me to spend lunch with him as he felt he’d enjoy the company.

i got lost in the intricacies of his face as he tampered with the printer. thin eyebrows furrowed in concentration, bottom lip captured between his thick scarred fingers as he muttered to himself.

i fell in a trance, locked on the slope of his button nose, his gemstone eyes, and chubby caramel cheeks dusted in freckles.

he looked essentially like the same boy i saw on the screen all those years ago, yet matured and hardened by the realities of life.

i wanted nothing more than to reach out and protect him any way my small quirkless body could. to be there for him the same way he was for everyone else.

he eventually got the printer to work with a boyish smile on his face as he told me that despite the good roughing up i gave the machine, he was able to locate and handle the issue. “next time, skip the punching and come find me, yeah? i’ll help with any problems you face.” he joked as he made his way into his office to resume his work.

i didn’t know it was possible to fall harder for that man, but he proved with every day of his existence that the impossible didn’t apply to him.

i was finally able to get some sleep the next few nights as my eyelids filled with the blush on his cheekbones and his gaze of concentration.

but my trip to cloud 9 didn’t last very long as the occasional meeting with uraraka became trips to her agency, and occasional meetings in civilian clothes to civilian places, like coffee shops and corner stores.

to anyone else, those would read as dates. to me, they read as dates. but izuku assured the gossiping sidekicks that it was strictly professional ~ nothing more, nothing less.

i knew that i would end up with more fits of restlessness and sleepless nights as i pictured the two of them laughing over a cup of coffee. so i sought out a replacement.

a moment. a look. a sentence.

anything directed at me that would choke out the ugly thoughts and images my brain would show me of the two of them together.

so that afternoon as i brought him his lunch, i placed the box safely onto the table beside him as he continued skimming through the papers littered across the desk.

he muttered a small ‘thank you’ but it wasn’t enough. as my hand moved to place his drink that i held in my other hand next to his food, a different idea popped in my head.

my hand moved faster than my brain could register what it had just planned to do. squeezing just enough for the lid to pop off and slip from my fingers to tumble into his lap.

as soon as the liquid and ice hit his lap he flew up from his seat and away from his desk.

my hands flew up to my mouth as a string of apologies fell from my lips. eyes watering in guilt as they moved around the room trying to locate something to soak up the mess with.

“i am so sorry, my fingers slipped and before i knew it i had lost control of the cup. i-i can’t tell you how sorry i am.” i rambled as i took my blazer off to wipe at the wet stains starting to form at the bottom of his teal suit.

“hey, hey, hey.” he said softly, taking my tinier hands into his large and battered ones. warmth enveloped my clutched sticky hands as he gently urged me to stand from my crouching position in front of him.

“it was an accident. no harm, no foul.” he said with a soft smile.

i should feel bad, as it wasn’t entirely an accident. but the warm and gentle look in his eyes made what little guilt i felt crumble away.

his thumbs rubbing soft circles to my skin as he worked to get the tears to stop streaming from my eyes was enough to get me to sleep like a baby for a good 2 weeks.

until it became a cycle. he would spend too much time around uraraka, and then i would do something all in the name of garnering his attention back on me.

was it wrong of me to do, to take advantage of his kindness? to take advantage of the fact that he was naive to my true intentions? maybe.

but i felt i deserved it. i felt i deserved to be looked at the same way he looked at her.

i wasn’t any different than she was. with the way she used her big brown eyes to pull him in. or the way her cute behavior made him blush. or the way her sweet way of talking made him laugh.

i can’t be her, or compare to her. so i found my own way around it. and no one could fault me for doing so. they just couldn’t.

at the end of the mission, uravity decided to throw a party in celebration of their win. a nice formal gathering, with everyone she had involved.

when izuku pulled me aside one late night to tell me that he was extending the invitation to me felt akin to a marriage proposal.

i wasn’t involved much in the case, merely being used as the one who provided them their lunch on their long meeting days. or filing and organizing the paperwork and notes that they would compile. i wasn’t out in the field, breaking bones like izuku or saving lives like uraraka.

i didn’t deserve to go, but i didn’t care. izuku had invited me personally and damn it, i was gonna be there.

yet, i shouldn’t have gone.

i shouldn’t have spent the hours on my makeup. i shouldn’t have enlisted the help of my best friend to do my hair as i gushed about how izuku had personally invited me, how he was the most perfect man ever, and how i was undoubtedly in love with him.

i shouldn’t have spent the week leading up to the event going from shop to shop trying to find the prettiest dress that was just the exact color of his eyes. i shouldn’t have spent about half my paycheck on said dress when i found it.

i shouldn’t have decided to face my fears and step out of my comfort zone to join a group of heroes that i knew were old classmates of izuku’s as they whispered about something that clearly was a raving topic.

because then i wouldn’t have heard how izuku was planning on confessing to uraraka. i wouldn’t have heard how this mission caused old high school feelings to rekindle. i should have known my place.

and that was far away from here, from the hero scene. i should have grown up to be an accountant or a chef.

when my father took me to get that checkup when i was 5, to confirm that there truly resides no quirk inside me.

i should have left it at that.

when i was riding my bike that day as a first year and i saw the group of boys huddled around a screen as they tuned into the u-a sports festival, i should have kept riding.

as maybe it would have saved me a lot of pain.

i backed away slowly, heels tapping against the tile floor as i hurried out of the building.

i didn’t realize how suffocated i felt until the chilly autumn hair brushed my face and into my lungs.

my whole body felt hot, i felt numb. i stumbled onto the sidewalk as i looked into the dark azure sky glittered with stars.

the tears finally spilled from my eyes as the stars muddled together into a messy blur. my stomach swirled and tensed as pit of nausea sunk in my stomach.

my chest heaved as it tried to process the crisp cold air into oxygen, but my throat was too tight to let much in.

i gasped and sobbed as my back hit the brick behind me, my legs wobbling unable to carry my weight much longer.

i slid into a crouched position as my tears mixed with the black of my mascara. streaming in pools down my cheeks, neck, and chest.

in the midst of my sobbing and heaving, i called my friend who was still at my apartment awaiting details of that night when i came home.

knowing it was far too early for me to be calling her she picked up the phone with confusion. it didn’t take much words from me, not like i gave her much, to convince her that she needed to come pick me up.

as she hung up the phone, my hand slipped from my ear, falling limp to my side as i placed my head into my other arm resting atop my knees.

this was inevitable and i knew it. no matter how many ways i was able to manipulate a sweet glance from him, it didn’t mean anything.

izuku was nice to everybody. sweet to everyone. kind to anyone.

but with her, it was different. he treated her that way, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

they had years of memories, of laughs. they were perfect for each other, both smart, and kind, and always looking to help others. never acting selfishly or for personal gain.

they shared soft touches like they did old stories. they looked at each other with the same respect and admiration.

i was wrong. uraraka and i are nothing alike. she didn’t have to beg izuku to look at her like she hung the moon, he did so without asking.

unbeknownst to me, as i was manipulating izuku into these fabricated moments of gentle gazes and kind words, i was manipulating myself.

lying to the deepest parts of me that knew that this wasn’t real. that i wasn’t her. that he didn’t think of us the same way.

to him, uraraka is an old friend, who views the world the same way he does, who shares his same passions, who built her quirk to do some good within this world.

to him, i was a coffee-getter, the girl who knew his lunch orders like the back of her hand, the girl who filed his papers. the quirkless little fangirl who practically begged him to give her a job under him.

i heard the metal door open and snap shut announcing that someone was now outside with me. however, i just assumed it was a party-goer stepping outside for a smoke or a phone call so i didn’t bother to look up.

i also wasn’t in the mood for if the person happened to be a drunk girl who was ready to become my therapist as she saw me crouched on the sidewalk wishing to become one with the cement and simply cease to exist.

“there you are, i was wondering where you went?”

i would have taken the amateur therapist over this.

the voice belonged to izuku, dripping with sugar and default kindness.

if i could become one with the bricks just a little bit faster that would be great.

“hey, are you alright?” his tone became worried but i still didn’t dare to look up from my arms.

“do you feel sick? did something happen? do i need to take you home?” there he goes, into hero mode. ready to drop anything to help anyone facing the slightest of inconveniences.

“please just leave me alone.” i mumbled, throat tight and voice wavering as i try to hold the tears that still remain to fall.

“what did you say? i didn’t quite hear you.” he said softly, gently setting his large hands onto my exposed shoulder.

they should feel like welcoming warmth, but instead they felt blistering hot as i shoved them away as quickly as i could.

“i said leave me alone.” i said, slightly louder as i no longer was stuffed in my arms and knees.

he immediately saw the mess my face was in, i could tell by the way he quickly reverted fully into deku.

“hey, what’s wrong? whatever it is, i can help. didn’t i say you could come to me whenever you ne-“

“oh my god just stop! i can’t take it anymore.” i snapped, finally able to look him in the face.

but not for long as i saw the same look on his complexion as the first time i snapped at him.

“you’re too fucking nice. leaving you vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. giving them a reason to be selfish.”

“i dont-“ he tried to start but i cut him off.

“i don’t need a hero, izuku. there are people you just can’t save.”

as he worked to wrap his head around what was happening, my friend pulled up in my getaway car.

i bent down and grabbed my purse, but before i could fully escape this night, izuku grabbed my wrist causing me to stare into his eyes.

now lit aflame with desperation, “please just tell me what’s wrong. let me help you.” he encouraged softly.

but i wasn’t going to fall for it, not again.

i wasn’t gonna be played for the fool as i took the soft look in his eyes for anything but the gaze of a hero hoping to add another save to their statistics.

“god you never know when to quit!” i yelled as i yanked my wrist back. “and i hate that i-“

loved that about you?

no, love that about you.

i shook my head, thankful that for once my brain caught my actions before i spilled and made a mess again.

i walked quickly to the car, opening the passenger door almost as fast in hopes that within its metal sanctuary i could finally escape this hell.

“y/n- i-“

“mr. midoriya.” i just about whispered, my energy long since drained.

he laughed gently and i cursed the way my heart squeezed a little at the sound.

still head over heels for the angelic sound.

“you haven’t called me that in a long-“

“i quit.”

“w-what?” he muttered in disbelief.

i wouldn’t believe it either, not after the way i came to him nearly 4 years ago saying i would even be willing to clean toilets if he asked me to, so long as i got to work for him.

“i quit.” i repeated.

“you don’t mean that.”

he’s right i didn’t, not really.

hot tears started to dribble as my lower lip puckered in a sour quiver.

“no i do, sir.” i shook. “i will send someone to collect my things on monday.”

and with that i closed the door.

“drive.” i whispered to my friend who after a moment of looking at me, trying to read me, silently put the car into drive and started forward.

leaving izuku behind to stumble after the car, mouth muttering, trying to form any sort of sentence or sense.

but i couldn’t see him, knowing not to look at the mirrors situated on the side of the vehicle.

for they too are liars, as objects in the mirror are farther than they appear.

*** my little blue bitch working overtime

🧼 also mayhaps “soap” by melanie martinez fits this story… unintentionally ~ but if i’m wrong it’s cuz i haven’t listened to it in a while

#izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #deku x reader #izuku x reader #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #izuku angst #deku angst #deku headcanons #deku imagine

[mystic-writings]

heartbreak girl | reggie peters

PAIRING — reggie peters x fem!reader

PROMPT — day four - music (lyrics)

SUMMARY — reggie is in love with you, his best friend, but you have a complicated relationship with someone else. after the breakup, reggie dedicates a song to you during one of sunset curve’s gigs

WARNINGS — mild angst, breakups, toxic relationships, fluff

WORD COUNT — 2,583

NOTE — i just think that reggie peters friends to lovers fics (2022 note: also- peep the lovejoy pic for the header 👀)

Summary: Reggie is in love with his best friend, despite her complicated relationship with her boyfriend. When Sunset Curve has a gig, what will Y/n do when Reggie performs a song dedicated to her?

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Reggie would never regret being your friend, not in a million years. But sometimes, being your friend was hard. Especially when you would call him at 2am, crying because your boyfriend broke up with you. Again.

Which is where he found himself now, listening to you sputtering and sobbing over the phone about your boyfriend, Adam, moving on from you again. Countless times Reggie had assured you that he didn’t mean what he said, that what he did was an accident, that he was sure that he would be crawling back to you in no time. He didn’t know what was worse, the fact that he kept lying to you, biting his tongue and keeping quiet, or if he was always right when he told you those things.

Reggie heard you sniffle over the phone, saying, “Thanks for listening, Reg. It means a lot.”

“Of course, N/n.” Reggie lied. “It’s no problem.”

“Call you tomorrow?” You asked, and Reggie nodded, although you couldn’t see it.

“Of course,” and with his words, you hung up. Reggie felt useless, because although he helped you on multiple occasions, he knew that he would treat you better than Adam ever could. Adam picked fights over the stupidest things just so you could break up and he could get with someone else until he got bored. You knew it, but you always chose Adam. Why couldn’t you see that he was better, that he would treat you right?

There was no way Reggie was going to get any sleep after that call, so he sat up and pulled a pencil and his songbook from his bag, allowing himself to let his thoughts and feelings flow in the form of song lyrics.

Within days, you were attached to Adam’s side again. None of the boys liked him much, and they all agreed that you deserved better, but Reggie knew that he was the one that would love you and treat you right. The boys knew how he felt, and they felt bad for their friend. You were too blinded by your love for Adam to notice how Reggie felt, which just left him hurting when you called him to help fix your relationship.

Seeing you with Adam always made Reggie’s blood boil, but he always pushed the thoughts away and focused on the fact that you were happy. Except you weren’t. He was the one that received the late night calls, he was the one to give you advice and help you through the temporary breakups.

He hated seeing you so upset, but he hated it even more when you were with Adam. It wasn’t the fact that he wanted to be with you, but instead it was the fact that he knew that Adam would be breaking your heart in a few weeks, maybe less, just to get with someone else. Sooner or later, the cycle would repeat and Reggie would be stuck in the middle of it all.

Adam always hated Reggie. Ever since he started dating you in sophomore year, he didn’t like you being around the bassist. He never gave you any explanation, other than Reggie seemed to be a bit too friendly toward you. Adam, along with being part of the football team, was extremely possessive. Sometimes it felt suffocating, but you didn’t see it. You always claimed you were fine.

What no one knew, though, was that you were tired. Tired of him breaking your heart and then coming right back to you, hovering over you and arguing with you to let go of your best friends for him. Your head had finally won out over your heart, and you knew that the next time he left you, you would make sure it was for good.

You were done with covering up how you felt about Adam and how you really felt for Reggie. He didn’t deserve to hear all about how bad your relationship could get, and he definitely didn’t deserve to put you back together every time Adam decided he’d had enough of the relationship. You knew that, but Reggie was your first friend, the one person that actually knew everything about you.

But the days went by with no signs of Adam leaving you, until one night you were waiting for him to meet you at the movies for your date, like he had promised. After an hour and a half, you knew he wasn’t going to show, so you left the theatre with your phone pressed to your ear, leaving Adam a tasteful message for him to listen to later.

The gist of it was full of curse words and how you were so done with putting up with his horrible treatment, and that you never wanted to talk to him again. When you hung up, a sense of relief flooded through you. But so did the tears. Despite him treating you so badly, you had spent two years of your life with Adam. So, you turned your keys, the car roaring to life and you pulled out of the parking lot, making your way to Reggie’s house.

The boy hadn’t been expecting you to knock on his door at 10:30 that evening, but he let you in without hesitation when he saw the tears streaming down your face. He pulled you into his arms and led you up to his room, sitting the both of you down on his bed as you cried into his shoulder. He didn’t need to ask any questions to know what was going on. Adam probably left you again.

He desperately wanted to scream at you, to tell you that he was the one you should be dating, that he could show you what it was like to love and be in a loving relationship with someone who actually cared. But he didn’t. Instead, he stroked your hair, shushed you lightly, and told you, “I’m sure he’ll see he made a mistake soon, Y/n, he’ll come back to you in no time.”

No matter how much it broke his heart, he always told you the words he knew you needed to hear, not the ones he desperately wanted to tell you. Sniffling, you lifted your head from Reggie’s shoulder and wiped your tears to look at him.

“Reg, that’s not why I’m crying this time.” You said, watching the confusion flash across your best friend’s face. “I- he stood me up. I’ve had enough of his bullshit, if I’m being honest. So I left him a voicemail, and I told him I never wanted to see or hear from him again. I-I’m only crying because, even though he wasn’t good to me, he was still apart of my life for a long time,”

Relief flooded Reggie’s chest, as much as he’d hate to admit. You were finally free from Adam, and he could tell you how he felt about you. But he knew he couldn’t do it now, not while you were still processing the complete loss of your boyfriend. He would just have to wait, despite the joy building up inside him.

That night, you left your phone on silent and spent your time with Reggie, laughing and talking. He told you about some songs that Sunset Curve were working on and you told him what you would do more often that you couldn’t do when you were with Adam. Going out with girlfriends, going to parties and actually letting loose, going to see the band practice again.

You were finally free and finally healing, and Reggie was proud to see you doing it on your own.

Despite the fact that you had made it clear to Adam that you weren’t getting back together, he still pursued you constantly. You still felt like you were in his shadow, and you couldn’t escape him. Every time you saw him, he started rambling useless apologies, promising that he would never cheat on you again. And you ignored every word, knowing all he was doing was lying to you. If you went back, you knew it wouldn’t take long for him to leave you again and restart the toxic cycle.

Avoiding Adam and trying to get him to leave you alone for good was draining, and you were glad that the weekend had finally come. You spent Friday night with the boys, watching movies and eating pizza. They had a gig tomorrow and you were going, so you enjoyed the night of relaxation before you had to spend the evening in a crowded bar to cheer your friends on.

Saturday, though, was spent with a smile on your face. You picked out your outfit, a muscle tee that Luke had made for you and some black ripped jeans. Along with that, you decorated your wrists in bracelets and clasped the necklace that Reggie had gotten you for your 12th birthday around your neck. Adam never let you wear it while you were together, so it had been a while since it had seen the light of day.

The silver was still beautiful as ever, and the sunlight from your window glinted off the metal perfectly. The pendant, a small silver butterfly, the wings inlaid with small purple gems. It sat in the middle of your chest and you put your fingers to it, smiling. You missed wearing this necklace, and it had meant so much to you that it hurt to take it off.

After your makeup and hair was done, your hair being put into a high ponytail and your makeup being nothing too over the top, just some simple eyeshadow and lip gloss, you got in your car and drove yourself to the club as the sun was setting. They let you in from the back after you claimed you were Sunset Curve’s manager, leading you directly to the dressing room to allow you to wish the boys good luck along with offering them hugs.

You didn’t get much time with them in the dressing room, but you promised them that you would buy them food after their gig at Reggie’s favourite pizza place.

Speaking of Reggie, the bassist was especially nervous for tonight’s performance. He knew you were going to be in the front row, you always were whenever you came to see Sunset Curve perform. Tonight wasn’t just any other gig, though. Tonight, the last song of the night was going to be sung by Reggie instead of Luke. It was the song he wrote all those weeks ago, when he was getting tired of dealing with your’s and Adam’s relationship. It was his confession to you.

The first few songs went amazingly, the crowd cheered in appreciation, but you screamed the loudest. You were in the front row, standing in front of Reggie’s mic stand and smiling up at him. The light was dirty and yellow, but he still thought you were the most beautiful person in the room.

Before they played the last song, Luke spoke through the mic. “This last song was written and sung by our lovely bassist, Reggie,” he pointed to the dark haired boy, who smiled and waved. “He wrote it for someone special, someone who’s in the crowd tonight. She knows who she is,”

Your cheeks flushed red when Luke winked at you and Bobby started out the song with a riff on his guitar, Reggie stepping up to the mic just as Luke and Alex came in with drums and guitar.

You call me up It's like a broken record Saying that your heart hurts That you'll never get over him getting over you And you end up crying And I end up lying 'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do

Reggie’s eyes remained on you as his voice carried through the venue, the lyrics echoing in your head. Your hand went over your mouth when you realized just exactly how much you had hurt him by burdening him with your broken and toxic relationship.

And when then phone call finally ends You say "Thanks for being a friend" And I'm going in circles again and again

I dedicate this song to you The one who never sees the truth That I can take away you hurt Heartbreak girl Hold you tight straight through the daylight I'm right here, when you gonna realize That I'm your cure? Heartbreak girl

You felt your breath hitch when you realized what he was talking about, and you could tell what he was telling you with the lyrics. Somehow, he had managed to speak volumes even with just his lyrics, and he felt the same way you did. You covered it up all these years out of fear, but you didn’t need to hide it anymore.

I bite my tongue But I wanna scream out You could be with me now But I end up telling you what you wanna hear But you're not ready And it's so frustrating He treats you so bad and I'm so good to you, it's not fair

And when the phone call finally ends You say "I'll call you tomorrow at 10" And I'm stuck in the friendzone again and again

Tears were building in your eyes and a smile stretched across your face as Reggie still kept his eyes on you, smiling. There was a sparkle in his beautiful blue hues, one that now you could see clearly. It was love.

I know someday it's gonna happen And you'll finally forget the day you met him Sometimes I'm so close to confession I gotta get it through your head That you belong with me instead

You sucked in a breath, wondering how many times he wanted to tell you how he truly felt, and you wondered how many times you could’ve left Adam and been with Reggie; how many times you could’ve been happy.

Bobby’s riff sounded in your ears before the band circled back to the chorus, Luke and Bobby moving freely throughout the stage and Reggie staying in the same spot he had been the whole time. At his microphone stand, singing his heart out and staring at you as you stared back at him.

One final time, Bobby repeated his guitar riff and the song ended. All four boys’ chests were rising and falling rapidly as the crowd cheered around you. You barely waited another second before you were clambering up onto the stage to get to Reggie, who helped you up the raised platform. You stumbled into Reggie before gaining your footing, smiling happily at the bassist.

“Reggie, I- you wrote that song for me and I-” He was smiling, too, and his grip was still on your elbows. “Why didn’t you say anything! We wasted so much time, Reggie, and I’m so sorry I did all that to you. It wasn’t fair, but I want to make it up to you-”

“Kiss me.” Was all he said.

Biting your lip, you smiled at the boy and placed your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. It didn’t matter that you were in a dive bar, or that there were at least 50 people watching. You were kissing Reggie and that was all that mattered. Putting all your love into the kiss, you felt Reggie’s hands rest on your waist.

When you pulled away, you let your foreheads touch as he took your hands, whispering, “I love you,”

“I love you too, dork. I always have.”

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[safekeeperscosm]

I think the girls going their separate ways would rub a lot of people the wrong way. Because what they have gone through in Amphibia both good and bad show just how much they really mean to each other. So I think them separating would make the story kinda feel pointless.

I'm going to share something personal, but TL;DR, if they do separate, it should end on good terms where they would need some space from each other to grow for themselves, and leave those toxic traits behind. Sometimes, being around people who you know you can keep on hurting because they’ll forgive you, because they love you, is terrible for both parties. That doesn’t mean they should cut each other out of their lives entirely, if not just for a while.

If they choose to stay together, frequent therapy should be implemented and they can never be friends like they were before, their dynamics need serious progression to break out of that internalized cycle of pressure and control Sasha and Anne have around their less assertive peers or it will get worse, but hey, fights with reconciliation is exactly how you mend relationships. Gotta break things first to fix it y’know?

I was the Outcast Kid(TM) in elementary, big surprise. My first language is English and my mother tongue is Malay. When I talk to other kids it would feel awkward and they would feel I was better than them or I was just plain weird. My first best friend was from kindergarten and we found in other in the same school after she moved. She introduced me to two of her new best friends in our first year.

And they fought. All. The. Time.

But they always reconciled and remain best friends, given 3 days or a week at most. I stayed out of the fights. And I wasn't a peacemaker either. It just wasn't my business.

The library was my favourite place after eating at the canteen during recess.

I got moved to a different class the next year because of my academic performance. I became the most popular for speaking English, and yet the least popular for not talking much. I start drawing more because of the isolation as an escape from crippling loneliness that I’m apparently used to now.

One day, this one particular girl gets seated next to me and after hanging out with her she tells me I'm her best friend forever.

I never believed in best friends forever.

We made friendship bracelets, chased boys away from bullying, she cuts my hair, I talk about dinosaurs, she tells me everything.

I'm distant with my friends from my last class, but I still loved seeing my first best friend from time to time after school. I even remember introducing the two to each other.

On the third year, a new class means new seat arrangements.

I get a new best friend. Two actually, but more like a bestie-in-law.

These girls are even more aggressive. They say words I don't know and talk to boys like they're one of them. I make several new friends because of that.

My mum sends me to an after school thing for me to better study the Qur'an, and my first best friend forever is there. We still hang out.

My drawings consist of dinosaurs, and The Amazing World Of Gumball gijinkas. I start drawing constantly.

On the fourth year, I remain in the same high achieving class and the best friends in this one I'm not as close with anymore, but I was always the one to keep my relationships at arms length.

And then I met this bitch.

She comes up to me while I'm drawing, talks to me about WHAT I'm drawing, ASKS about it, and I tell her about Danny Phantom, CatDog and Winx Club.

We were seated far from each other, and whenever the teachers aren't in class she comes to my place and talks to me while I draw. What does she talk about? Harry Potter Yaoi Fanfictions with Harry/Draco. I didn't understand same sex romance, but I listen. She introduces me to 3 of her best friends, two which are sweet boys. I talk to her girl bestie-in-law about My Little Pony and Barbie. I relate to the boys about being forced to listen to her rambles about Harry/Draco, but I don’t mind.

We stay in the same class for the fifth year. I find out she's the teachers’ daughter, and that I had no idea we were in the same class since fourth grade.

No seriously we were both completely invisible towards each other's existence it was actually hilarious.

I've never kept a best friend around me this consistently for this long.

For being an underachiever, in sixth grade I was put back into the B-class. I don't remember which of my first best friends stayed and which were put in the C-class.

My new best friend stayed in the A-class, but she takes every opportunity to hang out with me. I don't understand why she would take the risk of getting into trouble every time she gets the chance.

She takes me to the back of the school to a staircase that rarely anyone uses during recess, it makes me anxious but she tells me it's fine. I was never one to voice my own opinions.

By the end of the year, after exams are done and we have a few more days to spend at school before leaving forever. We got to do those stupid things kids at 12 years old do. I confess my crush to a guy and get rejected. She confesses hers to one of her best friends and they make it work.

And after that, she confesses to me.

I was kinda dumb for being oblivious to it before but I’ve always did had the kind of feeling. I turn her down because I didn’t feel the same way, but I still wanted to be friends. We held hands on the way home.

Results came out and we had the option to go to the same high school. She was my best friend and though I would most likely be terribly pressured there despite putting my best efforts, she was desperate to keep me close for I was at least the one friend who she doesn’t have to drift apart from. All her other friends are going away because of the vastly different lives they lead.

I didn’t want to be alone either.

Everything immediately went to shit the second I started highschool.

Now I don’t wanna talk about the details of that, but the summary of it is that we were both incredibly toxic and damaging to each other in the most passive aggressive ways, both selfish and suicidal, it was mentally and emotionally exhausting. We’d go back and forth in an argument that in the end leads to nowhere. It went on like this for 3 years.

Anyways we got so much better on the fourth year and now we’re closer than I could ever imagine!! I wouldn’t change a thing and I’m glad what we went through happened the way it did and how we dealt with it.

#safe lore #that means personal tag #amphibia #speculation #yeah safe answers stuff #sorry this took so long to respond to I'm not an expert on wording but I wanted to try give this a go anyway

[sisterssafespace]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته، أخوات

i have some bad coping mechanisms because of situations i’ve been through as a child. honestly, i’m trying to change & find better coping mechanisms - journaling, gym anything positive. but, it is a slow process because i’m still healing. ‎الحمد لله على كل حال

i think these coping mechanism are starting to influence those around me? for example, i shutdown a lot when i’m triggered by something or upset; now they do too. i purposefully distance myself from other when i’m upset; now they do too.

it’s sort of discouraging because i feel like i’m trying so hard to change. yet i can see them doing what i’m trying so hard to leave behind?

then i start to think what if they had always been like this. however, i’m only noticing now but, i feel like this is less likely because i’ve known them for years.

not once have i seen these negative traits in them. now, i see these traits in them more & more with each day.

i want to speak to them about it but, everytime i do they say ‘i have always been like this.’ i feel as though it’s not true because with me they have never been like that.

sometimes, i think it’s because my actions have hurt them? so, when i’m upset& i distance myself from them they are hurt. by copying what i do i end up feeling the same way they do. الله أعلم

these are only my thoughts. if you could offer some advice it’d be a great help too.

-🤍

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته beautiful soul 🍃

I hope you are in the best shape of health and Iman.

Reading your asks I had two seperate ideas pop up in my mind: it reminded me of a conversation I had with my therapist a few sessions ago about coping mechanisms, and of Mufti Menk's last khutbah this Friday that was posted on YouTube about heart breaks. I will start with the latter because it is a very brief idea. Mufti Menk said we do talk about being broken hearted but how much of our doing did break other people's hearts. - well this is about the part you mentioned about the thought that you might have hurt those people around you by isolating and distancing yourself in the past - I really don't mean anything with it, your words just reminded me of the khutbah and I wanted to share, you might want to check it, it's there on YouTube. I can link you the video if you want 😘

Moving on to the main point: coping mechanisms, and I quote my therapist (shhh don't tell her 😅) : coping mechanisms are tools that come with our personalities. They are not something we choose. They are related/ specific to each personality type, and we dont get to judge or evaluate if they are good or bad. /End quote. However, depending on the level of our self-awareness and knowledge, we can identify the patterns that are 'unhealthy' and try to replace them with healthier ones. Which is something you are already doing sis! You are finding your escape on journaling, gym, etc. That's great! I really congratulate you on this transformation. Proud of you! Allahuma barik ✨ The thing is, we can't always control our reactions? Because they are steaming from the emotional part in our brain, and the rational part needs a bit of buffering before it takes the wheel? So maybe sometimes we catch ourselves doing the unhealthy behaviors as an immediate response, then we take a break, we rationalize, and decide to break/ stop that pattern and opt for something healthier, with little damage? What I am saying is, it is not a work of magic, nor is it a software code, even if we try to condition our brain to work the heathier way, sometimes we find ourselves falling into our old traps, and when that happens, we shouldn't be upset or disappointed in ourselves (or in therapy for example), we should just take a breath, understand ourselves, understand our triggers, break the pattern and switch to the healthier coping mechanisms. I remember my therapist referring to them as " emotional paracetamol " pills, that should be always in our pocket and we should take them whenever necessary.

Now, I need to stop myself from deviating. Referring to your story, tbh, I do believe that these people in your life could be honest when they said that they have always been like that, maybe you really never noticed, because you lacked the self-awareness before? And when we don't know/ can't identify something, it is evident that we wouldn't see it in others, when we see it we can't identify it, we can't name it.. with that being said, maybe growing up and in your teen years with all the emotional tornment that comes with adolescence, you never really paid attention? So my advice on this matter is : let it go, don't give it heavier weight, and forgive yourself. Don't stay hung up on the past and what you can't change, rather invest all your energy on the present and how you can be there for them. Also, it is very normal if you find that person a bit reserved when you start trying to connect with them and get them to open up. Usually we tend to feel weird and wary when someone starts to behave differently towards us? Even if the new behavior is the healthier one, the behavior we had always waited for them to adopt and wished for..? It's confusing tbh, and we start doubting their intentions maybe because a part of us don't want to get our hopes up to be crashed again? Maybe because we have trust issues? Do you get my point? So I think you should be persistent even if they don't show compliance at first, you should show them that you are in it for the long run and that you really are there for them, you want to support them, fix whatever is wrong and help them heal and grow.. so basically what I am saying is don't be discouraged if they are still closed off, don't back down, keep trying.. in shaa Allah eventually they will open up and they will be grateful you didn't give up on them.. 🤍 And it's only then when they feel safe that you can start talking about the unhealthy coping mechanisms and the 'negative traits' like you said, because at any point before that trust is built, they will feel probably feel attacked and they will feel offended, yk? So be patient, and take it slow with them, nobody said this was easy, but it's only the 'special ones, the strong ones' do decide to break toxic cycles and unhealthy patterns, the average continue to exist randomly aimlessly and continue spreading and repeating those cycles, in vain. I am proud of you sis 🤍

May Allah swt help you break the cycle, and cross the bridge to a healthier stage of life. May Allah swt mend your heart and fill its cracks with light and Iman. Ameen. 🤍

P.s. A special thank you wa jazaki Allahu kulla Khayr for sending this as anonymous even tho we can (already had) have this conversation on DMs (or at least a bit of it), I feel like the reason behind your anon is that you are trying to spread awareness, encourage sisters who have problems to seek help and share their stories, and to actually take the first step and in shaa Allah more sisters will follow and the chain of comfort, help and support will start forming .. 😍 so thank you thank you thank you habibty, your encouragement and support to me and to this page means the world to me ❤️

- A. Z. 🍃

#FIRST STORY #coping mechanisms #sisterssafespace #asks #Alhamdulillah

[gamerwoo]

Hongseok: Make Damn Sure

Characters: Hongseok x female reader

Genre/warnings: mafia au, angst, literally just a lot of angst, toxic relationship stuff (like the whole thing is just one big very very mentally/emotionally abusive relationship), cheating, murder, kidnapping, there’s literally no fluff here ok

Word count: 2,792

Summary: I just wanna break you down so badly. Well I trip over everything you say. I just wanna break you down so badly in the worst way.

a/n: hi yes as u can probably tell this was inspired by makedamnsure by taking back sunday. i’ve actually had this in my drafts for a long time but i kinda forgot about it????

Hongseok paced back and forth by the door, waiting for you to come back. He knew damn well you were back at the bar you always ran off to so you could avoid the tense feeling when your boyfriend was around. He was well aware of the feeling because he felt it too. He wasn’t sure when the two of you changed, but things felt different, and while the two of you only addressed it when you got into heated arguments, neither of you ever seemed to pull the plug and end things.

For whatever reason, neither of you wanted to.

Maybe you found a bit of pleasure in the way you made Hongseok’s face go red as he screamed at you. Maybe he sometimes enjoyed seeing the tears streaming down your cheeks that were caused by him. There was something both of you enjoyed about hurting the other, and while it was absolutely sick and twisted, neither of you bothered to leave. So it was a constant cycle of Hongseok always being gone, you avoiding him when he’d come home, the two of you getting into a screaming match, and the cycle continuing.

Things hadn’t always been bad. Deep down, you both must’ve loved each other because you absolutely did before and why else wouldn’t you just leave each other? But somewhere between him always being gone and you being fed up with not seeing him, your relationship evolved into something that couldn’t even be considered a relationship at this point.

As soon as the front door opened, Hongseok stopped and glared at you, crossing his arms over his chest. You were already expecting him to be waiting so you just sighed, keeping your eyes trained on the floor as you shut the door.

“You know I hate how you go to the bar every night,” he scolded.

“And you know I hate being told what to do,” you grumbled back.

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Don’t feed me that bullshit. You knew going into this that I had to be controlling considering I’m in the mafia and everything wants me and everything I’ve ever loved dead.”

“Oh good, so I’m safe,” you offered a sarcastic smile, finally looking back at him.

Hongseok took a step closer, causing you to step back and press your back against the door as he tried to make himself seem far bigger than you, “If you keep this attitude up, you won’t be.”

Despite stepping back, you weren’t that afraid of him. Hongseok had threatened you before but he never went through with it. You knew he didn’t have it in him to physically hurt you.

You rolled your eyes, stepping around him, “You don’t have the balls.”

As you brushed past him, he gripped your wrist tightly, almost making you second guess him. But he hesitated before letting out a sigh, still staring at the ground by the door and dropping your wrist.

“Just go upstairs,” he growled. “You’re lucky you’re my girlfriend or--”

“Or what, Mr. I’m-Scary-Because-I’m-In-The-Mafia?” you chuckled coldly as you went upstairs, not bothering to look behind you.

You knew you were making things worse, but that was how you and Hongseok interacted. You’d egg each other on despite knowing it was best to stop. You just couldn’t stop.

There was one surefire way to really get under your skin which would effectively end the conversation. There was one insecurity of yours that Hongseok used to always reassure you would never be a problem, but now tended to use it against you. And when he really didn’t want to deal with you, he’d always bring it up.

“Y’know, I could just leave you and find someone better,” he smirked, tilting his head to one side as he looked up at you. You were halfway up the stairs when you stopped and looked at him over your shoulder. You wanted to punch his perfect smirk off his beautiful goddamn face. “You’re so easily replaceable, remember? I can have anyone and anything I want. Piss me off enough and you’ll be out of this house faster than you can say ‘oops’.”

Hongseok had always been perfect. He looked perfect, he acted perfect. He was intelligent, sweet, understanding, and everything he did, he seemed to excel at. So when you first started dating, you were worried he would find someone better. You felt you were so plain compared to him. The guy looked like he should be dating a supermodel, but he picked you out of everyone he had.

Even now, while you hated his guts, you still didn’t like that he held that over you.

You glared at him, eyes turning glossy.

“Go fuck yourself,” you spat before turning and running up the stairs to your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Hongseok sighed before carrying on up the stairs, taking his time.

“Well it’s not like you do anymore,” he chuckled to himself.

By the time he was done getting ready for bed, you were already curled up in bed on your side. He entered the bedroom, barely sparing a glance at you who he assumed was silently crying under the covers as he made his way over to his side and got into bed. He turned off the lamp on his nightstand before getting comfortable and closing his eyes. He hadn’t tried to cuddle with you in months and you knew that wasn’t going to change -- not that you wanted it to. You still shared the same bed but never slept close enough to touch each other. But that was just how things were. You were hardly a couple anymore but neither of you would leave. 

Truthfully, you liked the danger of being with Hongseok too much because your life before him was so cookie cutter and boring. Hongseok still enjoy how normal it felt to be at home with someone after spending long days doing things that most people didn’t do. You wanted Hongseok because he was what you weren’t, and vice versa. Maybe you were both just masochists who couldn’t leave the things that hurt you. It was like a bad addiction where you knew you should quit but you just couldn’t.

-

The doors to their HQ burst open with a disheveled-looking Hongseok striding in. His shirt wasn’t buttoned up all the way, his tie was hardly done, and he was carrying his belt in one hand. His hair was a mess, he looked like he was hardly awake, and the sight made Hui annoyed to no end. He was already pissed that Hongseok was late, but now he was more than likely hungover because he knew it wasn’t anything he’d done with you -- he was well aware of what your relationship was like.

“You take care of it,” Hui grumbled to Wooseok, not even wanting to yell at Hongseok at this point. “I’ll be in my office.”

“Alright,” Wooseok sighed, not exactly thrilled with having to handle Hongseok, but he had to listen to the boss. So he turned to face the older boy while Hui left the room. “Wow, real cool of you to get drunk the night before work. Yeah, you seem like such a tough guy.”

“Not today, Wooseok,” Hongseok grumbled.

“Rough night?”

“You have no idea,” he huffed as he started to put his belt through the loops in his pants. “You know what _____ did this time? She fucked another guy.”

Wooseok just blinked, “...So?”

“So she’s my girlfriend!” Hongseok growled. “She belongs to me!”

“Seemed to me like you didn’t care much about her anymore,” the taller boy shrugged, turning to walk with Hongseok when he met up with him. “Why would you care what she does? Just dump her.”

“No,” he scoffed.

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“She literally cheated on you,” Wooseok pointed out.

But Hongseok had done the same before, and everyone knew that -- even you. But unlike Hongseok, you tried to be sneaky. You waited until he had left for work to invite the guy over, but you didn’t realize he’d be home early that day. And then he found you on the bed with your legs spread, some guy he’d never seen before on top of you, and his hand around your throat.

Before you could even get a full sentence out, you heard a shot ring out, and then you were covered in red with the guy’s body limp and lifeless on top of you.

Hongseok’s eyes raked over your body underneath the man’s. He merely licked his lips before looking back into your eyes, nodding his head, and leaving with a, “Good luck with that.”

He went out to a bar and didn’t come home until you were fast asleep in the bed that Hongseok had sent men to clean, knowing you wouldn’t be able to take care of it yourself -- but he did it because he wanted a clean bed, not because he wanted to help you.

Hongseok shrugged, “I killed the guy, so we’re even.”

“That’s--” Wooseok paused to let out a deep sigh, “Dude, this isn’t healthy for either of you. Even Hui hates seeing you two like this. Just give it up.”

He shook his head, working to button up his shirt and fix his tie, “You don’t get it, alright? You’ve never been in love before.”

“Are you in love?” Wooseok let out a harsh laugh. “I may not have anyone significant in my life, but I know that shit isn’t love.”

Hongseok stopped and turned to face Wooseok. He glared up at him, but he didn’t move to do anything. He was just annoyed, not angry.

“You don’t know shit,” Hongseok spat, “so just stay out of it.”

Despite the older member’s warning, Wooseok sighed and continued, “If you still love her deep down, why do they two of you literally never get along? Why can’t you even attempt to get along?”

“Shut up, Wooseok. Just drop it.”

Hongseok strode off as Wooseok stopped and stared at him. Honestly, Wooseok wasn’t sure he’d ever understand what Hongseok’s relationship had turned into. He didn’t get why at least you didn’t just leave him -- especially after the stunt he pulled today. But he was apparently wasting his breath and energy trying to talk sense into him. Something inside Hongseok apparently still loved you enough to stick around, and the same must’ve been true for you, but why would you constantly fight that badly with someone you loved?

If that was love, Wooseok didn’t want it.

-

As Hongseok pulled into the driveway, the lights to the house were off. He groaned, knowing you must’ve been out a bar again. This time, he contemplated leaving to get you.

But then he noticed the taillights of your car were on. Were you in the car about to leave? Why would you leave for the bar this late?

As he parked his car and stepped out, you got out of yours. He could see into the back windows that you had suitcases and bags piled up. His heart dropped, but he felt fire burning in his chest, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

“So,” he began, trying to sound casual, “where are you going?”

“Hongseok, you literally shot someone and left him dead on top of me,” you stated as if that would give him the answer he wanted.

He shrugged, “You cheated. Seemed fair.”

“When have I ever killed the three separate girls you’ve intentionally brought home when you knew I would be back from errands?”

“That’s different.”

You let out a deep sigh, shaking your head as you looked into his dark eyes, “Hongseok, I’m done.”

He scoffed, “You say that all the time.”

“But this time, I’m really done,” you insisted, and something flashed in his eyes. For a split second, you were sure it was panic. “That was the last fucking straw. I stuck around and put up with all of this bullshit, but that? Fuck no.”

“You stuck around because you didn’t want to leave,” Hongseok said, trying to convince you that you still wanted to stay. “We stick around because we love each other, and I know you still love me.”

“Do we love each other?” you laughed softly. “All we do is intentionally make the other miserable. And for what?”

“Relationships aren’t always rainbows and sunshine, _____!”

“But they’re not this fucking awful, Hongseok!”

“_____--”

“No,” you stated loudly enough to cut him off. “I’m done. We’re done. I’m leaving for good. You can go off and find that person who’s ‘way better than me’ that you’re always talking about.”

As you turned around to go back into your car, you felt Hongseok tug on your wrist, saying lowly, “I’ll give you one more chance to change your mind.”

You assumed it was like every other time. He was trying to give an empty threat only to give up when you challenged him. You never fell for it, and you weren’t about to now.

“Too bad,” you told him.

But instead of dropping your wrist, his grip tightened. You gasped as he tugged you backwards, your back hitting the side of his car. His hand moved to grip your neck, squeezing it so you couldn’t breathe or scream as you looked into his narrowed eyes.

“You can’t leave me,” he stated like it was a rule he’d put in place for you.

This wasn’t just an empty threat. Something inside Hongseok snapped knowing you were finally going to end it. You weren’t sure why because while somewhere in you, you still loved him -- he was right about that -- you knew this relationship wasn’t a relationship anymore. It wasn’t healthy, and you couldn’t handle it anymore. You had to be the one to end things and leave.

But now you couldn’t.

Hongseok flipped you around, pressing you hard enough into his car that you were sure you would bruise. He quickly yanked his tie off and stuffed it in your mouth as you opened it to scream for help. Then he took of his belt and tied up your hands with it. He opened the back door to his car, shoved you in, buckled you up, and closed the door. Then he went over to the driver’s seat and got in, starting the car back up.

You continued to shout muffled words at him even though he couldn’t hear you. He had taught you plenty of things in your relationship: how to get out of the trunk of someone’s car, how to get out of various ties and binds, and even self defense moves. But there were things Hongseok didn’t teach you, like how to get away from him. You knew how to get out of zipties, but not how to free yourself from a belt. You knew how to fight against any other person, but since Hongseok was the one to teach you all the moves, he knew what to expect. He was the one person you couldn’t get away.

“I’ll make damn sure you can’t leave,” he growled, angry eyes shooting dagger at you in the mirror. “You’re mine, you hear me? You belong to me.”

For the second time ever, you were afraid of Hongseok.

-

HQ. You knew that’s where he would take you. He could tell the lower ranked men that you were a captive, and he could just hide you from the others. The only person who could do anything about it was Hui, but he knew the boss was so fed up with Hongseok’s situation with you that he wouldn’t bother getting involved. You would never be alone, their men would make sure you didn’t escape, and you would be Hongseok’s as long as he wanted. You really wouldn’t be able to leave him.

He shoved you into one of the rooms before he walked in behind you and closed the door. He took the tie out of your mouth and undid the belt only to tie you up properly to a desk chair -- at least it was more comfortable than the wooden one they usually tied people to. You must’ve been in Hongseok’s office.

“What the hell?!” you demanded as Hongseok draped his tie over his shoulders.

“You still love me,” he insisted, “just like I love you. And you’re going to stay here until you realize it.”

“I don’t care if you love me, this is insane!” you shouted.

But he ignored you, turning his back to you and heading for the door. “Yang Hongseok, get back here! Hongseok!”

He left the room, closing and locking the door with you still shouting his name.

#pentagon #hongseok #pentagon au #pentagon imagine #pentagon scenario #pentagon oneshot #pentagon fanfic #mafia!pentagon #pentagon x reader #pentagon angst #hongseok au #hongseok imagine #hongseok scenario #hongseok oneshot #hongseok fanfic #mafia!hongseok #hongseok x reader #hongseok angst #pentagon aus #pentagon imagines #pentagon scenarios #pentagon oneshots #pentagon fanfics #hongseok aus #hongseok imagines #hongseok scenarios #hongseok oneshots #hongseok fanfics

[rwbyconversations]

Rooster Teeth Glassdoor Crunch/Overtime Accusations #AnimatorsFirst

EDIT: Georden Whitman, former creator of Nomad of Nowhere, has come out and publicly confirmed the Glassdoor reviews are true.

Original story:

Rooster Teeth’s Glassdoor reviews have recently made serious allegations against the company, with people who work for the company claiming that the company engages in practices involving heavy crunch periods, a resistance to providing benefits, eighty hour work weeks, a management team trying to justify crunch and unpaid overtime that, according to some, led to as much as a third of RWBY and gen;LOCK’s recent seasons being made effectively for free. 

Below are screencaps and exact quotes from the pages. Any emphasis made is done by me.

From May 23rd this year, as written by an employee with three years experience at RT:

Cons

Program scheduling department has no idea how to time budget for animation, has resulted in unnecessary, preventable crunch Company takes on projects that are too big for it to manage effectively Not the highest pay compared to Anim Guild standards Open office space, gets noisy

Advice to Management

Management has been using a weird method to try and deescalate hard feelings about crunch. They’re acting like counselors who are “there to talk” and to try and find “coping mechanisms” to deal with crunch. This is a terrible idea considering that none of them are trained counselors as far as I’m aware, but more-so, they’re obviously going to be biased in favor of what they want from us. It makes me want to communicate with them even less. This past review, my manager criticized me for having “negative energy” during a terrible crunch period where we were working over 80 hrs s week, and told me I should “look for the silver lining” which is just bad advice. Advice to management is to stop pretending you know anything about mental health and also be less passive - fight harder for your team.

From May 13th, an employee with a year’s experience at Rooster Teeth:

Cons

The management is terrible. Artists are lead on with the promises of "full time employment and benefits" dangled in front of them without ever being addressed and ultimately are never given, there is no paid overtime, artists had to fight for their right to time off between productions, and good luck getting any form of benefits despite them being plastered on the wall.

Advice to Management

You're not a group of guys playing halo in your apartment anymore. Please run your business and look at what's happened to it.

From June 11th this year, from an employee who has been working at the company for five years:

Cons

- Extremely poor management (Some of it is negligence, some of it is just accidental from the sheer amount of work. Upper management is also extreme bro/friends club.) - Insanely high expectations (animate a 10-14 min episode in 2 weeks) - Very low compensation (I've worked here for years and make entry pay. Some people have gone MULTIPLE years with no raise) - No overtime pay (Every season of RWBY and GL gets about 1/3 or less made for 'free' because no one gets paid over time and it's not uncommon to work hundreds of hours of overtime) - Toxic work environment (there are a lot of cliques, complaining and even making fun of other people and depts here. It never gets punished so it always happens. Not professional)  - You know something is going right when after many complaints HR reminds everyone you have "unlimited" mental health doctor appointments... I could honestly go on and on like an emo on Myspace in 2007 but I'll reign it in. I'll leave it at this since I've seen many fans read these and be skeptical. It's not great. You can deny it but there is a lot of evidence if you just accept it. And the reason you work here is cus you get stuck and are promised "It'll get better". The work is low quality (hard to get jobs elsewhere), pay is low (can't save money) and life/work balance is a joke. We have a bit of balance now but it's only for a couple months out of the year when production isn't in full swing. Then it's back in the meat grinder.

Advice to Management

You NEED to listen to the workers and make hard decisions and actually fight for better conditions. It's been far far too long of "it'll get better" or "we know what to do next year". This isn't sustainable and I think we all know it. But someone has to be the guy to say "no" when things aren't good enough. If you don’t say no, hundreds of people suffer. Please.

From May 18th:

Cons

Crunch has gotten to an unacceptable level. Productions have been completed with over half of total hours unpaid overtime, especially impacting the comp and editing department. Management cares more about their ego than the quality of the work they put out— letting the crunch caused by their irresponsible decisions fall solely on the shoulders of the artists while they enjoy a forty hour work week. Pay is laughable compared with the amount of mandated, unpaid hours of labor. No career advancement, and contract workers are given empty promises of full time employment before being shown the door once production is done.

Advice to Management

Stop saying the crunch issue is “getting better” or that you’re “working on it”, and start actually owning up to your mistakes.

From May 19th:

Cons

-A lot of employees brought on, if not all, before the last development cycle were promised permanent positions after a 90 day trial period. As those dates approached those artists saw no change, asking their leads what was going on. The guidance from higher ups was vague at best, and some felt like they had been forced to lie to employees during the interview process. - A lot of processes went over-scope due to poor planning. -Lack of actual production experience in the management side of things is no longer something that can be glossed over as the company tries to take on more industry vetted employees. -Crunch is extreme and overtime is not compensated for, nor is that time given back in any fair amount.

Advice to Management

-Clear and concise communication -Re-structure your upper level management

From May 12th:

Cons

Crunch here is out of control. No Paid OT. Expect to work A LOT for free. 70-80 hour work weeks. Mandatory 10-12 hour work days sometimes with no days off. Management is more interested in telling you what you want the hear as opposed to the truth.

Advice to Management

Fix the crunch issue and stop saying 'we're working on it'.... because you're not. Layoffs are certain. Will layoff bad employees and good employees in the same breath, completely eliminating any reason to work as hard as you're required to do. Fix your transparency issue and stop overworking your employees otherwise your reputation will severely suffer.

From April 5th:

Cons

-No paid overtime. -Crunch is a major problem in the animation department due to unrealistic deadlines, poor planning, and indecisiveness. (Mandatory 10 to 12 hour days for multiple months are common.) -Stress levels are often very high due to harsh deadlines -Some of the producers tend to lie. -Promotions are used as a morale booster, not actual career advancement. -Hardly any time for Professional Development -Professionalism can be a bit scarce (for example people would draw penises on the boards throughout the studio)

Advice to Management

-Management needs to seriously figure out how to deal with the crunch issue. A question was asked at an all hands meeting: "How are you going to handle crunch this year?" Instead of giving a clear answer, the head of the RT animation department completely dodged the question. If you don't know how you are going to tackle a problem, try saying, "I don't know. I will get back with you ASAP." Then actually pursue a solution to the problem. Dodging questions makes you look shady and untrustworthy. -Improve production plans and make sure you have enough resources to complete your projects. If you are going to work on two shows at the same time, then you need to double ALL of your teams along the pipeline, not just one. If you can barely get one project done with your current resources, you certainly cannot finish two. If you can't get the resources needed to complete the projects, then it's probably best to keep them small or to simply not do them at all. Pushing your teams beyond the breaking point is not the wisest decision. If you continue with your overambitious ways, it will backfire in the long run. Telltale Games' closure and Bioware's Anthem debacle are examples of what's to come if you do not improve your production practices and get crunch under control. -Get more training on how to manage people. There are plenty of programs out there that can help management understand how to work with various types of personalities. There were some situations where I noticed that some leads and producers simply did not know how to talk to a person when there was a problem. Despite all of the criticism I just wrote, I feel the majority of who work at Rooster Teeth Productions are decent people. However, the management is just terrible. Put some of that ambition you have into fixing your problems internally instead of putting it into meeting those unrealistic deadlines.

From March 25th:

Cons

- Massive amounts of unpaid overtime. All while touting the importance to the company of a life/work balance. They promise to give you the time back, but it will be impossible to take. - Management is just a joke. They can’t schedule or stay on track to save their lives. Total amateur hour. - Zero followthrough on promises made. How about a pizza party? - Pay much lower than standard. Don’t expect real raises. Promotions with increased responsibilities don’t come with comparable pay bumps. - Most promises of advancement and opportunities are hollow wishful thinking. - Almost zero followthrough with meaningful investment in employee education. You can access a Udemy account and that’s about it. - Management will blame the artists instead of taking responsibility and will even through people under the bus to cover themselves. - Internet celebs are more valuable than artists.  - Their awards are called “cockbite of the month/year” and it’s what they call their employees. You may not want to be called that but that’s too bad. It’s their culture. A few guys draw penises everywhere to be funny. - Not very much diversity in management. Feels like you need to be a straight white male to be appreciated.

Advice to Management

Hire some actual seasoned industry professionals to upper management in Animation. And demonstrate there are some consequences for them, instead of taking it out on employees.

From April 11th: 

Cons

-Overtime, and hours will cause any person to slowly become something they don't like. -Management is typically made up of "talent" and treats other employees poorly, not to mention 0 years of previous managerial experience. -Management also blames other employees for the problems they create, and don't show actual leadership. -Echo chambers within management. -Stress levels incredibly high -Lack of professionalism

Advice to Management

-Get rid of "talent" in managerial roles, it's clear they're costing the company serious problems and money. The ones who end up being hurt are the employees who knew and constantly warned about problems ahead of time that were ignored. If the company stays the same a huge incident is bound to follow. -Try to respect creatives that aren't "talent" within the company as well. It's clear management doesn't and goes against the entirety of the company's "core values." those who have had previous industry experience should be listened to and considered instead of being shrugged off and given responses like "Well that's just how we do things." -Collaboration doesnt seem to exist for a majority of managment here. If this one massive change happens the company could really grow far and do much more than create crude content with a lack of care/heart for the final product. -If people are able to sleep and have a normal schedule more thoughtful input will also happen, and your content can only get better. -A multitude of people and lives have been hurt from management at this company, from in house employees being mentally abused to freelancers that are ghosted. So many immature and poor practices have taken place within the animation department I'm amazed a lawsuit has yet to happen. -Management should be leaders not bosses.

It’s almost darkly funny that most of the positives are just “They give you free food on Mondays and the people are nice.” 

But these are all from just the last year alone. Most reviews from before the start of 2019 don’t speak of crunch barring one from April 2018, one from March 2018 and one from June. This is a problem that has been affecting Rooster Teeth for at least an entire year, and since the start of the new year, the problem has magnified tenfold. Most reviews mention that the heads of departments are aware of the crunch and unpaid overtime but refuse to do anything about it beyond offering platitudes or dodging the question on what the company is going to actually do to fix the crunch problem.

Crunch is a problem plaguing many companies, especially in the western hemisphere. In gaming development there’s a story nearly every month about what apathetic upper management think they can get away with by forcing employees to spend dozens of hours every week slaving away on their product. I hoped that Rooster Teeth would not be one of these companies, but I am saddened to see that they were not. 

Crunch’s negative effects on mental and physical health have been well documented, alongside the basic fact that crunch isn’t worth it and doesn’t work. Employees forced to crunch are unable to work as well as employees who are well rested and have time to go home to their families. 

To anyone working these impossible crunch hours at Rooster Teeth right now, I hope your suffering ends soon, that eventually basic human empathy wins out and hours are lessened while you receive your just rewards for your work.

For @roosterteeth? This is appalling and a slap in the face to the fanbase you conned into thinking that you were a company that cared for everyone within as a huge family. Your entire management team should be ashamed of the environment you signed off on. No profit margin is worth the suffering you have subjected your crew to. Shame on you. 

As a fan of RWBY, it disgusts me that a product I enjoy was made through blood, sweat and tears. And as a fan of RWBY, I wish to make a public call to the fanbase, be it on Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter or Youtube. I want to make a public statement to Rooster Teeth that we are willing to wait longer for new shows if it means that they are made ethically. I can’t in good conscience support a product if it was made by putting the workers through hell. Maybe I can’t change anything on my own, maybe ultimately we’ll just be ignored, but I refuse to stand by and stay silent on the matter, maybe even get Rooster Teeth to make changes in their workflow (I won’t say “I hope they respond” because they seem to respond in-house to complaints about crunch without ever actually changing anything) 

I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Share the accounts of the Glassdoor reviews as far and as wide as you can. We love and enjoy media, we love the people who make it- the animators, editors, writers and voice actors, and we as a community want them to not have to resort to RT’s seemingly unlimited mental health coverage or “find a coping mechanism to deal with crunch.” As much as it pains me to admit, I’d rather see RWBY die instead of seeing continue to be made on the back of crunch.

Thank you for reading. Again, I encourage you to share this around as much as you can. Let your voice be heard if you stand against this. 

#rwby #Rooster Teeth #Genlock #crunch #overtime #glassdoor #georden whitman #nomad of nowhere

[educationtimesblog]

CONTROL YOUR ANGER

Ms. Aanam Verma  | Head of Department | Asst. Professor Biological Sciences  |  CPSM College of Education | Gurugram

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER  | ANGER MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES | TIPS TO OVERCOME ANGER

Most people get upset simply because they don't know what to do when they experience anger in their daily life. Sometimes aggressive behaviour may get their needs met in the short-term, but there are long term consequences. Your words might cause lasting damage to the relationship or even lead to its demise. So here by, I will like to share some simple tips how to tackle the ghost of ANGER.

When calm, express the anger

As soon as your thoughts are clear, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. You must state your concern and needs in a direct and clear way, without hurting others or trying to control them.

Physical Activities

Physical activity like yoga, stretching, aerobic exercises reduces stress which is the cause root of your anger. Neck rolls and Shoulder rolls are good examples of nonstrenuous yoga like movements, which controls your body and harness your emotions. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or do some enjoyable physical activities like cycling, hit a few golf ball, playing your favourite  game.

Relaxation Exercises

There are many relaxation exercises but the key is to find the one that works best for you. Breathing exercises and Progressive muscle relaxation are two common strategies for reducing tension. Your breathing becomes shallower and speeds up as you grow angry. Reverse that trend  by taking slow, deep breath from your nose and exhaling out of your mouth for several moments. In Progressive muscle relaxation, try to tense and relax slowly your different muscle groups in your body, one at a time, along with slow deliberate breathe. Eg. Closing tightly & relaxing your fist along with breathe in & out respectively. You can use kids small smiley ball too. Stress balls are also available in the market. Relaxation exercises take practice. At first, you might feel as they are not effective, but with practice, they will.

Warning signs

Be alert & aware of the emerging signs of anger like fast heart beat, red & hot face, clenching of fist, unable to think properly etc., so that you can take control and prevent it to reach the boiling point. 

 Identify Triggers

Take stock of things that trigger your anger like traffic jams, sarcastic comments, messy room, work not at time etc. You must structure your day differently and prevent the triggers to take place. 

Be aware of your feelings

Think critically what real emotions are lurking beneath your anger. Sometimes anger act as a mask to protect you from more painful emotions like embarrassment or disappointment. Acknowledging underlying right emotion can help you to get the root cause of problem. For an example, if someone cancels a plan on which you were so excited, chances are you rush in anger but underlying emotion is disappointment, so you can explain your feelings of disappointment instead of making the scene. Be honest with your feelings, then only you can resolve the issue. Responding in anger just push people away.

 Keep your mouth shut 

When you are provoked, you may speak rubbish, which will worse the situation rather than any positive result. So, in an argument tightly close your lips as they are pasted. This will help you to take time to collect your thoughts and respond in a mature way.

Repeat a mantra

                                                          When your temper flares, repeat a mantra or calming word or phrase, that will help you to calm down and refocus. Repeat that word again and again to yourself when you are upset. ‘Relax’, ‘take it easy’, ‘you will be o.k’ or ‘everything will be fine’ are good examples.

Picture a stop sign

 The universal symbol to stop can help you calm down when you are angry. It’s a quick way to help you visualise the need to halt yourself, your actions and walk away from the moment. You can put any symbol on your back of your hand which will remind you to STOP & control your anger.

Find a creative channel

You can turn your anger into a tangible production. Consider digital creativity, painting, writing poetry or journal when you feel upset. What you can't say,  perhaps you can write. Jot down what you are feeling and how you want to respond. Processing it through the written words can help you calm down and reassess the events, increases understanding and more possible solutions. Emotions are powerful muscles for creative individuals. Use yours to reduce anger.

Practice Imagination

                                                                                                                       Just step into a close room, close your eyes, and imagine yourself in a relaxing scene. Focus on the details of the imaginary scene. Colour of shedding leaves.... movement of water….brightness of the rising sun etc. This practice can give you calmness, peace, serenity and of course strength.

Keep a calm down kit

Make collection of objects which helps to engage all your senses. When you can see, hear, smell and touch the calming things you can change your emotional state. So, prepare a calm down kit which may include scented hand lotion, an image  of serene landscape or any relaxing scene, Audio- Video spiritual passage or quotes, a few pieces of your favourite candy. Just include all those things that you know will help you to remain calm. You can create a Portable calm down kit  that you can take anywhere. For example, calming music  and images, guided meditation or instructions for breathing exercises etc. to be stored in a special folder on your smartphone. Keep your bag loaded with hand lotion, perfumed wipes & candies.

Change the focus

The best way to calm down is to change the focus immediately on something else. It’s better to distract yourself with an activity. Do something that requires your focus and makes more challenging for negative thoughts to creep in. For an Example, organising the wardrobe, deep cleaning the kitchen, weeding the garden, sign a petition, write a note to an official etc. Pour your energy and emotions into something thats healthy and productive which keeps your mind occupied and won’t able to ruminate on the things upsetting you. 

Listen Music

Let the music carry you away from your frustrated feelings. Put on your earbuds, move to the park or drive the car and listen your favourite music, humming & bopping your anger away.

Countdown

Feeling angry, countdown up to 10. If your anger touching the peak, start slow backward count. By the time you count, your heart rate becomes slow, and your anger subsides slowly. 

Sharing with a friend

Instead of whirling in the episodes that made you angry, you must have a long talk with a friend who is trustful, understands you and your all perspectives and also help you to get rid of the problem. 

Write a letter or Email

Write a letter or email expressing all the events, even minute emotions which made you angry. After that, delete it. This will help you to release the suppressed emotions and make you at ease. 

Rehearse your response

Rehearse what & how you are going to say when the same type problem approaches you. This rehearsal period  gives you chance to role play all the  solutions coming to your mind.

Practice empathy

Fit in other persons shoes and see the situation from their angle. When you narrate a story according to their perspective, you may gain a new understanding and can overpower your anger. Think like a scientist, not a lawyer

Feel the anger but avoid action

In anger person loses judgement and problem solving skills which makes him rigid & blunt. Ambrose Bierce rightly said “speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret”. Anger drives us to aggress , confront,  take revenge and retaliate. It’s better to go to bed  angry, before sending angry email  keep it for few days, just walk away when fight arises.

Self reflection

Some person are proud of their anger. Even they achieved nothing, they experience a warm inner glow of self satisfaction .They believe they have accomplished something tough, powerful and righteous. But that's not.  One must see or hear himself in anger once in life. Tennis great  Roger Federer  who was a racket smashing brat in his junior years, was watching himself throwing tantrums on TV that put him off of it throughout the life. 

Take care of yourself 

Factors like alcohol, pain, fatigue, stress, sickness, unmet drives like hunger, thirst, lust, etc. act as a fuel to anger. Reduce these variables as much as possible. Take proper sleep, make routine timetable, take some time off, streamline your week, delegate, relax, and have nutrition rich diet. 

Stick with ”I”statements

Criticizm or blame game will always  increase tension. So, use ‘I’ statements while presenting the problem. Keep in mind to be specific and warm. Example say ‘I don’t feel good when you leave the table without keeping the plate in sink’ instead of saying ‘you never help in housework.

Take short breaks

Give self short breaks during stressful or overloaded days. A few moments of quiet time will help you feel better, focused and prepare you to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

Work on solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Always remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.  

Forgiveness

Learn to Forgive. If your anger overpower your positive side, you find yourself dipped in bitter & poisonous fluid. But by forgiving someone who made you upset will make both of you to learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship. If it finds hard to forgive the person who has done wrong to you then imagine to forgive him. This way your anger slip away.

Evaluation of anger

Analyse  whether your anger is a friend or an enemy. If you see your right is being violated, you are suffering an unhealthy situation or emotionally abusive toxic relationship, then your anger can do justice. Here, you can change the situation rather than changing your emotional state. Anger gives you the strenghth & courage to take a stand and make the right  change. Another case, if your anger is enemy, it will destroy your healthy relationships and make you upset. So, evaluate your anger is positive or negative for you.

Humor, the best medicine

Lightening the situation can diffuse the tension. Humor can give you insight that what’s making you angry or having any unrealistic expectations. Avoid sarcastic comments, it only hurt the feelings and also make situation worse. Diffuse your anger by looking for ways to laugh, whether playing with your kids, watching  stand - up, or comedy movie. 

Gratitude

End of the day, always be thankful to life, what positive things it has given you, even under hard situations. Just ignore the negative part and enrich more with gratitude for right things in your life. Anger will get no attention & will try to eliminate automatically from your life.

Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a big challenge. Seek help or consult a psychologist if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do more harmful things you regret. 

Aanam Verma

#anger #anger mangement #anger management strategies #how to control anger #how to control your anger aanam verma tips to control your anger control your anger

[manifestationtips4you]

5 Simple Ways to Change Your Life With The Law Of Attraction (Learn This)

Johanna, a college student from Kuala Lumpur, had been struggling to finish her studies.

She was living in a dorm with other students and had trouble making ends meet.

Johanna was on a scholarship which meant she needed to keep her grades high while working part-time to support her living expenses.

Strapped for time and resources, she barely got by and started feeling burnt out. If Johanna wasn't hitting the books, she was working.

Everything started to become a blur and she was losing motivation to keep going.

It got so bad that Johanna even thought about telling her parents she couldn't do it anymore and drop out of college.

But then a classmate from her philosophy class introduced her to the Law of Attraction.

Jacques, a foreign exchange student from Canada, had been reading up on it and applied it in his own life.

According to him, it had helped him manifest a solution to his own problems.

He had lived in an abusive home growing up, and Jacques learned how to shift his thinking and perspective to change his circumstances.

Johanna wasn't sure at first what to make of it, but she took Jacques's word for it and started applying its principles in her own life.

Click Here To Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For <= [Link this text via your affiliate link]

After she made a shift in her own mindset and attitude, Johanna started to experience some positive changes.

She eventually quit her part-time job and found another one with better pay and hours which helped with her living expenses.

It also helped free up her time, so she managed to study AND start a side income project selling items online.

Johanna ended up growing her side business so much that she got Jacques to help her manage it.

By the end of the academic year, she had turned into a completely different person.

Johanna was no longer a depressed, burned-out student from before. She had become a self-sufficient student and even made the dean's list!

The Power of Changing Your Focus

Sometimes, we get so discouraged that we feel powerless to change our situation.

Like Johanna, we fall into a FIXED mindset where we think things will stay the same and we can't do anything about it.

But the only way to break out of this negative spiral is by changing your INNER world.

This is the key to influencing your external world so you can move forward in life.

In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction is a way of living that requires you to change your frequency.

When you do this, the Universe will pick up your signal and your life will change for the better.

As for the frequency I mentioned, this is basically the vibration of energy that your mind gives off.

You can either operate at a high or low vibration, and each type will give you a specific result.

Most people don't realize they're giving off low-frequency energy, which is actually making their situation worse. Discover the Lazy Person's Secret To Get Everything You've Ever Wished For - CLICK HERE

The main problem is when you attach your emotions to your external circumstances.

For instance, it's easy to feel bad when you're broke. And naturally, it's just as easy feel the opposite if you had money in the bank.

Similarly, seeing other people in a happy, romantic relationship will make you bitter and angry if you're single.

And so on…

I'm not saying it's wrong to feel bad about things like that. However, you shouldn't use your circumstances (and how you FEEL about them) as an excuse to STOP trying.

People fail to realize that NOT doing anything about their situation will only make them feel WORSE. And this further traps them in a vicious cycle of negativity and inaction.

Thus, the Law of Attraction will help you install a more positive attitude in your consciousness.

This keeps your mind from being overrun by negativity - and more importantly, give you the leverage to BREAK FREE from your situation.

With some practice, your thoughts and actions will effortlessly work together to attract positive circumstances in your life.

But where should you start? Here are some ways to put the Law of Attraction into action and start creating massive changes:

#1: Share Your Gifts to the World

The Bible talks about the power of giving, and how it outweighs the benefits of getting.

But no matter what your faith or beliefs are, it helps to think of generosity on a LARGER SCALE.

Giving is more than just a virtue - it's a type of cosmic currency.

When you perform acts of kindness or share your resources for no other reason than WANTING TO, you're putting this currency into circulation.

And soon enough, this positive energy you send into the world - and the Universe as a whole - will find its way back to you.

You won't get it in the same form, but it will come around, one way or another.

I know that sometimes, giving feels like the LAST thing you want to do - especially when your own life is lacking in some capacity.

Why bother extending yourself when you've got enough to worry about for yourself?

But that's exactly the point.

Giving - even when you THINK you can't - will prove that this is a FALSE perception.

Let your acts of generosity serve as a reminder to everyone that in spite of everything, life IS and will ALWAYS be abundant.

Trust in the infinite energy of the Universe and tune into its unique frequency.

Your selflessness is the key to that. A generous attitude raises the quality of the vibrations you send out into the world.

Escaping the scarcity mindset and the fear of not having enough is one of the most liberating things you can do.

By doing so, you're FREE to improve the lives of others - and yours in the process.

Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE

#2: Stop hanging out with losers

I don't mean to sound judgmental, but there are people in your life that will try to drag you down, whether they're aware of it or not.

You should avoid them at all costs.

People in a bad situation will try to feel better about themselves by spreading their toxic way of thinking to others.

They pull others down with their hurtful words, or convince them that they're not good enough.

Instead of doing something about their own situation, it's easier to go down this dark path and take everyone else with them.

And the Law of Attraction states that when you focus on something, the Universe will feed you more of the SAME.

So the good news is that you can choose to avoid this downward spiral and get on another path instead.

This is why you need to be careful about the company you keep. Choose the people that can share their constructive energy with you.

If their attitude, mindset and words lift you up, you know you're in the right place.

Their energy is contagious, and you'll naturally raise your own frequency and attract only good things in your life.

As for toxic people, I know there are times when you simply can't avoid them.

They could be family, friends, or co-workers - and you might be even living with some of them.

It's a challenge for sure, but do your best not to let their negative energy get to you.

You don't have to butt heads with them and simply respond with positivity.

If you're in a conversation with them, try to frame it in a healthy, positive way so you don't get sucked into their toxic field of gravity.

You don't have to change their mind; just take the “agree to disagree” route and leave it at that.

Who knows, your own energy might “rub off” on their consciousness. They might even think about what you told them and re-evaluate their own perspective.

#3: Get out from under the grind

We all have our lives to lead, and that means falling into a routine.

Now, don't get me wrong - having structure in your life is important and even necessary.

At a basic level, we need it to function on a daily basis. Incorporating helpful habits into your everyday routine is a GOOD thing.

However, there is a danger in being TOO embedded in it and shutting yourself off to trying NEW things.

Sticking too closely to your routine could make you afraid of the unfamiliar and uncomfortable - and hinder your GROWTH in the process.

So if you want to attract new and exciting things into your life, you should carve out some room for that.

Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE

Doing things that help you grow ALWAYS has a place in a well-balanced life. A stable, healthy routine is the best way to avoid a soul-crushing existence.

What are the things that inspire you?

Outside of your usual chores and duties, what gives you a sense of fulfillment - even if it doesn't pay the bills?

People usually shoot down any desire for this because they're afraid they “don't have enough time.”

But you'll see just how flimsy that excuse is once you actually take the plunge and spend that time you didn't think you had.

In as little as half an hour, you could engage in a fulfilling pursuit. Find (or rekindle) a hobby, take up an online course or watch free videos.

Let it energize your senses, inspire you to greatness and empower you to create something wonderful in this world.

More than that, you can acquire knowledge to advance you in some way, like learning a skill, for example.

I recently came across a post on Twitter that made me smile.

It said: “There's too much free information online for y'all not be crushin it in whatever field.”

Use your precious time to invest in a better you and express yourself through your passions.

Don't worry about the “if”s and “how”s. Just get started with something now, and the rest of your life will adjust to it.

You won't know what new avenues will open up UNTIL you get the ball rolling,

#4: Quiet your mind

Meditation is one habit that goes very well with practicing the Law of Attraction.

When you learn how to control your thoughts (instead of the other way around), you're in the best position to manifest the things you want.

A lot of people find it challenging to keep their thoughts above water when they're flooded with negative emotions.

With meditation, you can take a step back and remove yourself from a situation in a healthy way.

There are books, free content online and mobile apps that can help you with this.

For instance, I just tried out the Insight app on my phone which is kind of like the YouTube equivalent for meditation.

Learn How To Use Destiny Tuning To Manifest The Life You Want - CLICK HERE

You can search by a specific person or channel, or even topics like easing anxiety, anger management, and so on.

This is a low-maintenance habit which will only take about 10-15 minutes daily. You could even spend five minutes if you're really strapped for time!

This basically works by sitting down on the floor (or a chair) and closing your eyes.

The idea is to take slow, measured breaths and pay attention to the physical sensations you're feeling at the moment.

Are your muscles tense? Is your heart beating quickly from the stress you're currently experiencing?

These are some of the things to be mindful of as you breathe in and out. If any other thoughts enter your mind, don't resist it.

Don't chase after them and just let it pass. Then you can go back to focusing on the rhythm of your breath.

Take this time to focus on the feelings of love, health, success and prosperity.

In other words, the things you want to ATTRACT.

Concentrate your attention on inhaling and exhaling. Once you've calmed your mind enough, you're ready to visualize the things you want to manifest in life.

This will have a powerful effect on your subconscious and put you on the path towards your goals.

And that brings us to the last life-changing habit…

#5: Affirmations

Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers in history, was known for saying, “What you're thinking is what you're becoming.”

Indeed.

That attitude helped him become what he was, and it will serve you well, too.

Most of the time, people don't pay attention to the kind of thoughts they hold in their heads.

Left unchecked, they often feed into a toxic narrative they have about themselves without realizing it.

Like I said earlier, what you put in your subconscious affects you.

The things you tell yourself are like seeds you plant in your mind and they'll grow over time. Those same thoughts will express themselves in your actions and the choices you make.

So, you need to be careful which seeds you plant.

Joseph Murphy, author of the book, “The Power of the Subconscious Mind”, tells us that this part of your mind can't distinguish which thoughts are real or imagined.

As far as it's concerned, your subconscious will treat it as FACT whether it's happening in the physical world or NOT.

Thus, people don't just operate on these subconscious beliefs. Without being aware of it, they're turning their thoughts into reality.

And it WILL happen - one way or another.

The perception you have about yourself is largely influenced by the people you had around while growing up.

Their input - whether good or bad - left a mark on your subconscious that's hard to shake off.

And this programming kicks in whenever you make decisions and it dictates how you respond to tough times.

This inner dialogue can act as your inner voice of confidence and self-assurance…

…or as in most people's cases, it's the voice of fear and self-doubt.

You might think you're not good enough or smart enough because you couldn't stop the bad things from happening.

You curse yourself for messing things up, then blame it on some pre-assigned character defect.

Usually, it's in the form of labels like “Loser”, “Hopeless Case”, “Slacker”, “Weirdo” and so on.

But remember, these labels only have as much power over as you ALLOW it.

You can apply the Law of Attraction to change this inner chatter and rewire your mind for success instead.

It's impossible to attract wealth, abundance and happiness if you're focused on putting yourself down.

Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life - CLICK HERE

You can do the opposite by using encouraging statements that will empower you to take action.

Here are some examples to try during your meditation sessions:

Affirmations that span across time: Think about what's already happened, what's happening now, and what's yet to come. Then put it all together like this: “BEFORE, I was broke, miserable and hated the world. But I know better NOW and want to turn it around. Things are about to change, and SOON I'll be prosperous, happy and living my dream life.”

Affirmations that are crystal clear: Saying something like “I am loved” or “I am blessed” is a good start, but they're a bit vague. Try elaborating on these ideas and flesh them out even more. Then you'll end up with a statement like “I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. They help me grow as a person and want to see me succeed.” As for being blessed, you can say “I'm blessed with infinite opportunities and resources, and my life is full and abundant.”

Affirmations with an attitude: Another way to supercharge your subconscious is by being a little cheeky with your statements. When that voice of fear and insecurity kicks in, drown out the noise with, “Whatever, I'm amazing at everything I do. I fight like hell and do my best, and I can't hear what you're saying!” Adding some lighthearted humor amplifies your signal and makes it easier for the Universe to hear your thoughts. Try this the next time you're feeling especially down on yourself.

When you improve the quality of your thoughts, it's as if your circumstances will rearrange itself on their own.

These changes will seem to happen without doing much on your part. But the truth is that you're already doing the heavy lifting by disciplining your mind.

Starting today, you can apply these five tips I've just shared with you to create ripples of change in your life.

The more you practice them, the bigger waves will result from your efforts. I hope you make use of this knowledge and empower yourself for greatness.

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It's called the Manifestation Breakthrough Kit, and for a limited time I'm offering it totally FREE of charge.

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[mbti-notes]

P1) So I have this friend, an Enfp like me. For years she's been a dear friend of mine, and being of similar types have made us very easily get along. But now that we're growing older it feels like I'm in a different place in terms of Fi development, and her lack of development is starting to rub me the wrong way. During the time when we both started to get into Fi development, I started focusing on branching out and figuring out who I was, and she ended up in one relationship after another.

[con’t: The men were nice, and I'm not saying that being in relationships is a bad thing or is inherently detrimental to Fi. But now she's single, and says she feels listless, lonely. She says she seeks out men of status to make her feel accomplished but then either ends up losing interest or they break it off. I've been giving her advice to generate self interest, instead of seeking out interest solely in other people, to pursue her passions, and for a bit it seemed like she was taking my advice. 

But recently I've seen a... I don't know if it's a different version of unhealthy Fi, or whether it truly is a problem with me. If it is me, I would like to fix it. She seems to kind of assume my motives based off of what she herself is feeling. For example, if she feels insecure about something she'll act on the assumption that I'm judging her. I will be completely clueless to the fact that she thinks this until one of her actions based off of that assumption ends up being hurtful. When I come back and tell her that her actions are hurtful and based on false premises, she doesn't apologize, and despite saying that she loves me regardless, says that she feels I'm kind of a judgy person so that's why she assumed. I try my level best to be a non-judgemental person, given that I'm quite aware that people come from all sorts of life experiences and backgrounds, and I've had friends tell me it's one of my better qualities. 

There are times when I do say I can't condone a course of action (because it will hurt someone else or cause problems) and I have had someone break a friendship with me over that before. That person I've been told was toxic and manipulative, and later on I've heard that she herself thought she mightve been wrong. So I've assumed that what she said might not have been true. My family teases me about me being rigid on my morals, but apart from that no one has really mentioned it to me before. I know that being judgy could be a unhealthy trait from Fi, but I have the feeling that my close friend might be having an unhealthy Fi instead. 

So I suppose my questions are: am I indulging in unhealthy Fi traits? If so, how should I fix it? If she's the one being unhealthy, how so and how would you advise me to react? As I said, she's a dear friend of mine of many years. I know there've been times that I've been shitty that she's patiently guided me and times I've been behind where she's waited for me to catch up, so in this case I don't want to leave her behind. I know that I can't get her to change if she doesn't want to, (especially now that she feels that I'm being judgemental I don't want to press) but how do I react to someone with an unhealthy Fi while asserting my boundaries?]

When you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, especially if many of those years were formative years, it’s natural for the relationship to carry a lot of baggage - they become more like a family member than a friend. That “baggage” can be a blessing and a curse. It’s nice to have someone who’s known you so well and so long. They’re able to put you in context, they’re able to reflect back to you how you have or haven’t changed for the better, and the bond between you is strong due to all the shared experiences. On the negative side, baggage means that there exist some unresolved issues, problems that float around in the background, pain or resentment that gets swallowed for fear of rocking the boat too much, etc. Try to remember the positive when things get negative.

As a general rule, when an unhealthy dynamic between two people forms, both people feed into it in some way, otherwise it wouldn’t continue to get worse over time. Avoid trying to label one person as the only source of the problem. It’s not a case of either/or:

1) I believe that your friend is indeed having difficulty with Fi development, which is HER business to handle. It sounds like she uses men as a means to paper over low self-esteem, which is a manifestation of Te loop that gets in the way of Fi development. What she chooses to do is part of her journey of growth (or lack of growth as the case may be). You have to let her make her own mistakes and learn from them, just as I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate always being told what to do as though you’re stupid. This reminds me of an old song that goes something like: “If I make mistakes, they’re MY mistakes, and I cherish them as part of MY story.” You may believe that you know better than her about how to develop Fi, but perhaps you forget that an important part of being FP is that you have to honor your own story. You can’t live someone else’s story, i.e., betray Fi, and then hope to have healthy Fi in the end. Sometimes, honoring your own story means taking paths that others wouldn’t and falling flat on your face.

2) I also believe that your friend is defensive partly because you have been somewhat judgmental, which is YOUR business to handle. Even if you don’t say it out loud, people can sense disapproval, especially NFs. With your voice in her ear, I’m sure she has some awareness that her behavior is problematic. However, if you keep reminding her of this, what you’re doing is exacerbating the shame and guilt that she feels for “slipping”. You’re asking her to do what’s right, which is what Fi would do, but remember that you may also be asking her to do something that she is not yet ready or ABLE to do - this is how the line gets crossed. 

When you keep reminding FPs that they’re unable to do something, it doesn’t help them - it only makes them feel incompetent. If they feel that way long enough, it affects their self-esteem, which further exacerbates the feeling of incompetence in a vicious cycle. From here, she starts to assume things about your motives, as she projects her own sense of inadequacy. No one likes to feel less than. If you want to give advice, make sure that it’s wanted and appropriate for her level of competency. Most importantly, advice should be given lovingly, i.e., it should always be obvious that you are doing it from a place of care and empathy rather than a place of moral judgment. Avoid language that implies something about her moral character and focus more on the actions/consequences. You can’t speak such that you never offend anybody, but you can always check and recheck your own intentions to make sure that you’re speaking from the heart rather than the finger.

Sometimes, healing a relationship means stepping back a bit to let things cool down, such that you are able to return with fresher eyes. There’s a time for encouraging your friend, there’s a time for telling them the truth, and there’s a time for leaving them alone. It’s not always easy to decide the best option because the other person may not even know what it is they really need from you, if anything. At least she’s letting you know in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t need or want your judgment. To me, this raises the question of what she does need from you. It seems that you don’t know, because every time you try to intervene, you’re not helping her in any discernible way. If the people close to you are implying that you’re judgy, it’s something to pay attention to. It means that you’re either not approaching “helping” with the right intention or you’re not expressing your desire to help in the right way. Something that I often have to remind Fi types of is that “helping” is ultimately about the other person, not just about you satisfying your own moral imperatives. If you forget this, you may easily overstep and disrespect the other person’s boundaries due to imposing your values on them.

ENFPs love to discuss the things that are important to them. They love to explore new ideas and possibilities. But if the only reason you’re engaging in the discussion is to try to “lead” her into agreeing with your way of judging the situation, she’ll know, and she’ll close up, because you’re being disingenuous. In essence, being “judgy” might mean that you are imposing your idea of what Fi development is onto her, instead of helping her to discover the best ways of reaching healthy Fi on her own terms, at her own pace, in her own way - assuming that Fi development is still something that she wants. 

It’s easy to spot problems in people, but it’s a lot harder to come up with the most appropriate solution. Like it or not, these men are fulfilling a need in her life, and this can easily turn into a form of addiction, with withdrawal symptoms and all that jazz. The longer someone carries on a pattern, the harder it is to break. What exactly is the need that she’s attempting to fill? Where does that need come from, why does it exist in that form, or why is it such an urgent matter to her that she’s unable to give up her pattern of serial dating? Is there a better or healthier method to address the need... a method that she is capable of carrying out? If there is a competency problem, what is the best way to address it? These are the questions that you should ask, if you want to understand her well enough to tackle the problem constructively. And you may not get the answers until you approach her at the right time, in the right way.

#enfp #enfp relationships #te loop #friendship #helping #relationships #communication #ask

[taerseok]

i wait. | m.y.g.

↬ pairing:. boyfriend!Yoongi × reader

↬ synopsis:. you've changed. And Yoongi's attempts at confronting you are failing.

↬ word count:. 978

↬ genre(s):. angst, angst, and more angst

↬ rating:. pg-15

↬ warning(s):. toxic relationship, (hinted)cheating, mentions of low self-esteem and depression

↬ song rec(s):. I wait - Day6

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

▪ Wowwww, okay, my first drabble I hope you enjoy, also, thank you soo much to my wonderful beta-reader Barby @barbyisafangirl for helping me fix this thing because some screws were certainly loose-

▪ Also thank you to Eris @bangtan-dreamland and Lillia @moccahobi for giving me feedback on this, i love youu!

How many days has it been since he last saw you? Three? You've been gone, again. Yoongi had been trying to talk to you but you just seem to not be here anymore.

He was sick of it, tired of your relationship. It was like he was moving in endless circles, the cycles were never-ending, and left his heart only hurting more each and every try. As much as he loved you, as much as he was willing to keep waiting for your return, you'd always go running back to him. 

Hearing the front door open, he climbed off the couch and ran to you. You looked better already, perhaps Jimin had given you more advice on how to deal with relationships. Your disheveled appearance, swollen lips… it all ignited a new wave of nerves for him. Shaking his head a little, he took a deep breath. He had to confront you now, try once more. 

Maybe you were going to leave the house again. Maybe this time, you wouldn't come back for days. 

Maybe even then, he'd still wait for your return.

“Y/N. We have to talk.” His voice was serious, but with the way you looked so bemused, he doubted you were taking it seriously. And that was one thing he hated about you; you didn't take this relationship seriously. 

“Whenever I try to confront you, you go back to Jimin,” your ex. Your childhood best friend, who you were still close to. Countless nights were spent with no comfort, in loneliness, in cold sheets. He didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve him. “I know you think I'm a rebound,” your raised brow pierced through him. Silence. So you didn't even consider to give him an explanation, did you?

A part of him wanted you to deny it. But you didn't.

He waited for days, for weeks, sometimes he even considered leaving you, but how could he? He loved you. It made him loathe himself. You hurt him. Made him feel like he wasn't enough for you. Why did he have to be dragged into this hell with you? He didn't deserve it all, but still, here you were, treating him as if he was garbage at your feet.

For a second, that's what he thought he was. A toy to be used. But he could do so much better than you.

“Okay, so?” your slurring voice breaks the silence. “So I… I want to know why you're doing this to me. I can't handle it anymore.”

“If you can't handle it, then break up with me.” Your words were daggers to his heart. “You know I can't!” his voice rings out through the empty house.

You weren't all bad, and neither was the relationship. You had a lot of sweet moments together. Except till it came to Jimin, always hanging out with you and making Yoongi feel like he wasn't enough. That's where the problems struck. It tore him apart that you weren't taking a stand against it, not telling him that you loved him, not making him feel like he was good enough to be worthy of you.

Instead, you had been ice cold. His heart was the only one blazing in flames, turning into nothing more than ashes and pain, caused by the toxicity of your love. It was eating him from the inside out. Slowly killing him, each time you left through the door.

“Why can't you?” he heard you ask. 

The question was ridiculous, the answer easy enough to figure out. It only further proved your ignorance. But if it meant being stuck with you in these crippling walls that were your relationship, then he was all for it. Yet he keeps quiet. Would you think it was too illogical of a reason? When has love ever been logical in the first place? Why must he be the only one hurting?

“Because I love you,” he said meekly. You still took him for granted. He was left unloved for so long, he couldn't think of anything but you. The heart desires what it can never get, and his yearns for you, your touch, your voice, your love, your everything. 

Then when his heart finally does get it, it's already cold and crude, and he keeps wondering to himself, why he even desired it in the first place. This cycle had been going on for three months now. Maybe you were done with him, but he wasn't done with you. 

This was the furthest he had gotten. He was surprised you weren't leaving him again tonight. While the urge to touch you, to embrace you lingered, it felt impossible, too strange for another thought, too far away. You felt too far away.

He was tied to you and he couldn't even deny it. In an invisible wall, you had him suffocating with your cold laws.

“I'm going back to Jimin's,” his shoulders dropped. You didn't even answer with an ‘I love you’. Just tell him you weren't interested, let him go. Why were you torturing him? 

Every time you left, you gave him hope instead. That maybe there was something he could do to save you, to save your relationship. But even he knew, deep down, in the trenches of his heart, that there was no way out except one.

“W-When will you come back?” he stammered on his words slightly, lost and desperate. 

“I dunno,” the door closed again, and you were out of sight.

He felt like breaking down on the site again. Tears brimmed in his eyes, breath hitching, heart-burning. Last night, you had left him just like this. How much longer would confronting you take? Sometimes he wondered if he could ever break out of your cage, ever be free.

Maybe the answer was never. But at least for tonight, it remains the same as yesterday.

#bangtanhq #yoongi x reader #bts drabble #bts x reader #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi scenarios #bangtan yoongi #yoongi #yoongi x you #min yoongi #jimin #jimin x reader #jimin scenarios #taehyung #jungkook #namjoon #hoseok #jin #bts fanfic #bts #yoongi drabble

[recessoyster3]

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Drugs And Also Supplements.

These advantages, combined with the very little possibility of negative effects reveal MK677 to be a development medicine. Keep in mind that some comparable experimental medications (such as Cardarine/GW, Ibutamoren/ MK-677, and also YK11) are often marketed as SARMS - they aren't yet are still sometimes included right into SARM heaps. A few of these websites supply prohibited items alongside lawful weight-loss medications, making it really difficult to discriminate. Making use of DNP over a long period of time can cause cataracts as well as peeling off skin, and also might cause damage to the heart and nervous system. DNP is thought to be particularly prominent amongst bodybuilders, who are brought in to its assurances of quick-fix rapid weight management.

When one takes anabolic steroids, the cells obtain flooded with androgens, as well as all receptors become saturated. As a result, a message is sent to all the body cells that lead to their growth. This might be a benefit to anyone wanting to acquiring muscular tissue, yet it is a drawback at the very same time. In SARMs, a steroidal representative with anabolic task imitates testosterone. It increases lean muscular tissue mass, however without troubling libido as well as expanding the prostate. Additionally, you won't experience loss of hair and other side impacts that anabolic drugs create.

This is much easier than needing to room out as well as keep in mind when to take your dosage every day. Shop Oxytocin Online was initially created to treat and avoid muscle mass wastefulness amongst cancer as well as osteoporosis individuals. It has actually been taken into consideration and wished to be used for protecting against muscle atrophy, cachexia and sarcopnia, and has also been reviewed for use during TRT/HRT. Research studies conducted had a dose of between 5-25 mg per day, with 25 mg being the most common and also reliable dose. MK677 has a 24 hour fifty percent life and also revealed to be ideal endured by rats when fed to them each morning on an empty belly. MK677 has extreme advantages in regards to helping with a much deeper rest. Nevertheless, it can hinder sleep patterns if taken too late at night or too near to bedtime.

Api Services & Chemical Advancement

Dylan - what is the best sarm for recovering from an injury, particularly a reduced leg stress and anxiety crack? The most effective way to boost weight loss and muscular tissue mass is to cycle mk-2866 with an additional sarm like gw throughout the reducing phase.

The body does not know the distinction between what it develops normally or acquires from SARMs. All it knows is there is an increase is that manufacturing level and it is mosting likely to take advantage of it. On the other hand, using anabolic steroids is mosting likely to cause the body to stop making testosterone. Consequently, the user needs to pile with various other products to try to get it started up again. When they are no more taking the steroids, it is still going to require time for the all-natural production of testosterone to occur once again. Typically, your body controls the manufacturing of androgens to avoid their imbalance.

Why Are People Making Use Of Collagen Peptide Powder Everyday In The Uk?

Stenabolic + growth hormonal agent or andarine s4 + ghrp-6 + cjc-1295 dac to avoid injuries and also accelerate the recovery. 99% Purity Tb500 do not have to appear like an ordinary bodybuilder, health and fitness version or athlete; all you reached do is use a SARM. If you have actually not read about them or require some even more info, this short article will offer you with all the details concerning this medicine. They are careful androgen receptor modulators that show the exact same type of effect as that of androgenic medications, yet the only distinction is that they are a lot more selective in their activity. SARMs are chemically similar to steroids and are additionally as effective in increasing fat loss as well as muscle growth. As much as SARMs advantages are the same to those of anabolic steroids, their discerning activity makes the SARMs negative effects less. It indicates that as soon as you make a decision to use SARMs, you get to bid bye-bye to hormone discrepancy concerns, acne, virilization in females and also prostate troubles that might be caused by the use of some steroids.

Neuropeptides are the most diverse course of signaling molecules in the mind, as well as are associated with a broad range of brain features, including analgesia, reproduction, discovering as well as memory, benefit, food consumption and also more.

Drug items which resemble the results of endogenous peptide ligands are call peptidomimetics.

This on a regular basis up-dated website supplies a run-through of the artificial procedures involved in production of gastrointestinal peptides, and also law of these processes.

They differ from peptide hormones in that they are secreted from neurons and also act in your area on adjoining neurons, whereas peptide hormones are secreted in to the blood by neuroendocrine cells and act at distant websites.

Medicines which block the receptors for endogenous peptide ligands can be peptide or non-peptide particles.

Neuropeptides are small proteinaceous cell-cell signaling particles created as well as released by neurons.

Furthermore, SARMs are harder to discover during drug examinations, which, incorporated with fewer side effects, make them a much better alternative for professional athletes. In order to make the most of the extremely considerable bulking results of LGD4033, a dosage of 5-10mg should be taken daily for 8 weeks. To obtain the very best LGD-4033 results for cutting, a dosage of 3-5mg everyday is recommendedn, commonly for an 8 week cycle. LGD has the capability to bind to the AR with an incredibly high affinity. LGD is typically identified as an ARligand that is tissue discerning. It was initially created to treat muscular tissue throwing away in cancer cells patients, age-related muscle mass loss, in addition to severe as well as persistent ailment. Ostarine has a 1 day fifty percent life, so it's unnecessary to break up your everyday dose.

Day Makeover Heaps.

There are locations that are recommended if you're wanting to acquire SERMS. Since RAD140 is a relatively brand-new supplement, there isn't a great deal of information on the side impacts. Professional research studies have actually revealed that there are no documented negative effects of the supplement. Reggie Johal is the founder of Killer Nourishment, a UK based wellness and supplement shop. Reggie owes much of his comprehensive stamina and also physical fitness expertise to his former occupation as an Excellent Britain American Footballer. The average cycle length is 6 to 10 weeks at a dose range of 10mg to 25mg.

You can discover more regarding the negative actions of these steroids on this site. As their name says, selective androgen receptor modulators act upon bone and also muscular tissue tissues. By triggering receptors on them, these substances boost the development of new cells. They do not bind to androgen receptors on various other organs in the body This characteristic of selectivity is what identifies SARMs from anabolic steroids.

Yet it's difficult to say whether SARMs can have these side effects on everybody, or possibly they must be left out in only certain situations. However, the concept has actually rarely been gone over outside the USA, which may make some people think. There are those that speak out loudly versus utilizing SARMs, yet many researchers as well as authorities are only enjoying closely.

This makes your body with the ability of battling lots of crucial conditions that you can not picture. With this assistance, you have the ability to obtain even more weight as well as can do a health club properly. Nowadays, every person likes to visit the gym as a result of their principles towards their health and wellness. If your dream is to do bodybuilding, after that in the meanwhile, you require a great deal of diet plans because nutrition is a vital part of making the body. There are several products out there with the assistance of which you can quickly do muscle building as well as reach a great degree.

There are some residential or commercial properties inside this medication that assist in enhancing your power degree. After consuming it, the blood flow of your body improves to make sure that you feel energised. As blood flow boosts, the number of white blood cells inside your body boosts, which develops anti-oxidants.

Does caffeine increase hair growth?

But according to research, the caffeine in coffee can help stimulate hair growth and stop hair loss. One 2007 laboratory study found that caffeine helped block the effects of DHT in male hair follicles. It stimulated hair shaft elongation, resulting in longer, wider hair roots.

There is an expanding industry in sports nutrition supplements readily available on the high road and online. They may likewise look for ways to regulate their hunger when they're attempting to reduce weight as component of a body building diet.

MK677 can be made use of constantly for 1-2 years without any problem of a specific ending up being desensitised to it. Nevertheless, it is always important to recognize the opportunities that could accompany usage. It appears by the listing of advantages that MK677 is highly preferable.

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[lyricaldissonance]

Me: *does something to improve myself, is feeling optimistic*

My Brain: You're trash and it's cute you're trying to pretend to be likeable. These people are only being nice to you because they don't know how bad you suck yet. You're going to fuck this up the same way you ruin every good thing you've ever had, because you're a miserable failure who is only likeable when you're trying to act like you're a person capable of consistently maintaining competence and decency for any real length of time. And the reason why you can't is because you really aren't either of those things because otherwise it wouldn't take all of your effort just to be fucking normal and exist without constantly burdening everyone around you.

Mental illness is so cool, wow

But yeah, the reason why I avoid employment is because I'm lazy, not because I view it as a painful reminder of my inability to function in society unless I go so hard I break out in hives every day and lose the will to live even when my job isn't the hardest or most stressful and I still can barely pay my bills. Because apparently being a baseline functional person is so stressful that it takes everything I have, and that just further drives home the point that I'm weak and disgusting and useless and maybe people who find existing so hard shouldn't exist at all.

Hahahahahahahaha

I love my new job and everyone seems to genuinely like me but I'm so scared of fucking things up that it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I literally don't know how to not feel like an imposter. At least 70% of my stress could be relieved if I wasn't poor and in debt because of my own mania and impulsivity and unable to do anything about it or willing to ask for help because my mom gave me 3k and I still did this shit to myself AGAIN and I can't even tell you how or why, and I'm just so ashamed at this point that I can't ask for help and it's never going to get better. It's no one's fault but my own but I can't fix it and I've been treading water for years and I'm just tired. But I can't help myself because I can't ever repay someone else so I refuse to ask for outside assistance because I already live in a constant cycle of self-perpetuating guilt that feeling even more indebted to others isn't helpful.

Being "smart" fucking sucks unless you hit the nature/nurture lottery. Like wow, how cool it is I can write this little post exploring my diseased mental state, but it 0 percent helps me to feel better or enacts any kind of directly helpful changes, so self awareness can suck my dick. I'm just another someone with an emotionally toxic upbringing who grew into an emotionally stunted adult with a poor sense of self worth who may've won a junior high spelling bee once or written a story that other tasteless rubes liked. I'm not special and now I sure as hell never will be.

What is even the fucking point. Sometimes I wish I were suicidal or more of a moron who isn't regretting the egregiously offensive former half of this sentence. Intelligence is honestly a burden to me sometimes and it's so fucking sad because sometimes I really like myself and think I'm a good person but I'm not good at making money and I guess that's all that matters.

It's funny that my life went downhill after I tried to go to college. 5 years of savings evaporated before my eyes in a single semester of formal education that has yet to give me any material benefit in life, and all of the elders who blew sunshine up my "gifted" ass who told me higher education was my golden ticket shut the fuck up real fast, and also blamed everything on my lack of dedication.

I just feel robbed. And I'm "mature" enough to know that assigning blame won't solve anything. But I've had this destructive thought process/manner of coping with things for so long that, in the absence of any healthy reinforcement that no one owes me (and that I absolutely am too proud to ask for because, well, see aforementioned), I don't know how to proceed. I'm tired of compartmentalizing myself, but time and again, I've been shown that attempting to be seen is even more dangerous because you usually just make yourself vulnerable to people who then deliberately misunderstand you and try to make it your fault or act like you tricked them. As if pretending to be an untroubled, likeable person is a more malicious act than the messy atrocity that is your real personality that. . . Oh yeah, immediately just makes you "crazy" and even more unlikeable.

The one thing I learned from my childhood is that keeping the fragile peace was paramount, even if it was at the expense of denying the truth, because poking holes through someone else's carefully constructed reality was of more concern than the people who were hurt by their actions. Addict Stan 101, amirite? A family intervention was actually staged against me about how I should care less regarding my dad's drinking and the resulting emotional abuse because it was selfish to make it "all about me".

So now I view myself as the discarded piece of beach trash I was raised to. I guess everyone just assumes value is inherent, when you don't know to care about it until someone makes you aware based on their own biased set of metrics. I'm intelligence with no purpose, because my diseased brain and developmentally stunted ass couldn't hack the one advantage I was given to my own advantage. I'm literally a masturbatory fantasy.

All the people who raised me are flawed human beings with their own demons who really didn't mean it. But I can still be impotently mad. I didn't ask to be brought into this world.

Something was wrong with me. A really common, explainable thing, as it turns out. But of course, smart girls don't have problems. Mental illness is for parodical freaks tied up in straightjackets. There are starving kids in Africa. Do you really have it that bad?

So I learned to conflate my own personality and sense of self with my neurodivergence and now I'm 30 and I have such a tenuous sense of self-confidence that I literally just cosplay whatever version of me people like best from a capitalist perspective.

Haha jk. Sike, I'm a hyperemotional reactive and I will go off for everything, nothing, and all inbetween, even though I'm very chill and the things that set me off are on no one's radar. Just usually not in a way you can immortalize on TikTok. I used to apologize for having an emotional response, because I used to prize myself on being a robot, but as it turns out, I'm just a big stupid tsundere and no one cares how tough you look if the only person you're hurting is yourself.

I lost touch with the narrative.

Apparently I wrote this while wine drunk. Hm.

It's weird how suddenly I can turn to self loathing when I feel like things are getting better and I'm doing ok. I'm just starting to ignore things again and I don't want to let it spiral out of control again. I'm so feckless that I'm not sure how I manage to survive as an adult sometimes.

[korra-the-red-lion]

Criticism: Constructive vs. Destructive.

I was thinking over season 3 of the Dragon Prince the other day, and while it was a good season, I felt that Ezran’s story line of becoming king was completely botched. While I was disappointed by the poor writing choice, it didn’t ruin the show for me. Then it got me thinking about criticism. Some people view it as this force of destructive, and all it does pick apart the things we like to read and watch. However, this isn’t always the cases. As the title suggests, there is such a thing as constructive criticism and destructive criticism.

First I would like to discuss destructive criticism, which is unfortunately what people in fandoms see a lot of, and then it brings on a certain level of toxicity to conversations. What happens a lot when destructive criticism is thrown around is that it causes people to have bad assumptions of something without ever seeing it, or it doesn’t allow people to feel as if they can say they like it without fear of being attacked by the people who are saying these things. Take for example, season 5 of Supergirl or season 8 of Voltron Legendary Defender. These seasons are not the best from either show, but there was so much hate and discourse going around that it caused people to not want to share their opinions on the subject matter. To me, this sucks. I love hearing all different kinds of opinions on something because it sometimes helps me see things from a different point of view, or helps give perspectives on writing that I may have not seen or noticed. Furthermore, it is not useful to attack the writers of the show either, because it creates a cycle of toxicity that be hard to break. Fans say something to creators, creators mock or block fans, fans complain about them on different social media platforms etc. While I do agree that these people are professionals and shouldn’t ever mock fans for feeling a certain way, they don’t deserve to be attacked because of writing choices.

Now, for constructive criticism. This can be extremely helpful sometimes. I think it is fair to say something along the lines of “Supergirl season 5 isn’t the best season because the cast was too large and characters like Nia and Alex were lost because of it, and Leviathan wasn’t an effective villain.” To me, this is a valid criticism of the season. It’s not personally attacking the cast members and writers of the show because something occurred that we as viewers didn’t like. Saying “I don’t like that Gren stands behind Amaya while interpreting her hand signals, because he would be missing a lot of them” is valid too. It’s something that if you pointed it out to the writers and animators of TDP, they may not have ever even thought about it that way, and make the effort to make sure that didn’t happen again. Even for Supergirl this season, a lot of people were vocal about they felt about the Kara and William romance, and it really got dialed back in the later episodes. The writers listened to the fans, and made the effort to fix this. Now, this doesn’t always happen, but it’s better to try and stay civil about then outright attack them.

Do things deserve to be criticized? Absolutely. Game of Thrones season 8 deserves to be criticized for poor writing choices, lazy editing, and ruining character arcs. But just remember to do so in a way that isn’t slandering, but instead constructive so hopefully these people can grow as writers.

I just feel that there should be a respect for both the fans and the creators/writers/whoever of the show. Without us, there wouldn’t be an audience for the content created. However, without creators and writers and animators, we wouldn’t have any content to enjoy.

It’s okay for people to enjoy things, and it’s okay for them to dislike it. I just would like to see less hate being thrown around. I think that everyone’s opinion about how they feel about a certain subject matter should be appreciated and valued, unless of course it’s racist, sexist, or full of vile hate.

Thanks for reading this far if you did. Feel free to engage in conversation with me if you want.

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