#sometimes the others (mostly renee) will also happen to be there and while she kevin and katelyn usually pass the vibe check neil does *not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

simonsrosebud · 3 years

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what if kevin & dalton had been set up instead of meeting on their own?

(pls accept this as apology for not posting any kalton for MONTHS)

kevin doesn’t have a date to the banquet.

normally, it’s fine. he’s taken allison or renee to the last few, as friends. but this year, renee has something going on with gwen, their freshman dealer who is somehow only a year younger than himself. and allison got scooped up by ricky, the other freshman dealer.

“what happened to us being dates? i thought it was unspoken?”

allison shrugs and pushes her hair behind her shoulder. she has her arms crossed as she leans against the doorframe to kevin’s bedroom. “sure, but ricky has a crush on me and it’s fun playing around with it.”

kevin sends her a look. “ew, don’t look at me like that. as if, he’s like a baby to me.” kevin opens his mouth, but gets cut off. “you could get a date easily, it’s fine, we’ll help.”

and she’s right. later that afternoon she shoots a text to the team groupchat.

allison: kevin needs a date, any and all genders welcome. must be hot, good at socializing, and able to withstand his complete lack of care for them esp once he starts talking exy.

allison: i expect a nominee from each of you. good luck soldiers.

and kevin’s going to kill that girl.

the freshmen don’t answer, of course. all of their friends are freshmen, and they’re also just too scared to respond to the foxes sometimes.

aaron responds first, suggesting he just take one of the vixens. neil chimes in by saying that marissa girl is fucking social alright.

kevin doesn’t get why allison can’t just set him up with one of her friends. she has a strict rule against any of the foxes dating her non-exy friends, but it’s just an banquet.

matt comes in last, but instead of the groupchat it’s just to kevin.

matt: i have a friend named dalton. he’s in his masters to become a professor but he’s chill. he’s nice and fun too, the best guy i know

kevin knows he shouldn’t be shallow, but...

kevin: picture?

matt responds almost instantly. a picture of his friend sitting across from him at starbucks on his laptop. he looks caught off guard, like matt took the picture without warning.

is he with him right now?

kevin: maybe.

he drops his head back and rubs his eyes.

an hour later, the door opens. neil comes in first. matt is on his heels, and someone else trails in behind him. kevin sits up.

neil looks at him. in french, he says, “i wasn’t a part of this.”

kevin stands, and responds back in french. “you let him in.” neil shrugs at that, and continues down to the bedroom.

matt nods at him with a smug smile. “do you still have your psych 101 workbook? i have to take it next semester and i don’t wanna buy it.”

kevin frowns. is he not going to introduce his friend? “uh, yeah.” he turns to his desk and rummages through the drawers to pull it out.

“oh, this is dalton, by the way. he’s a friend from sophomore year.”

there it is. kevin turns back, book in hand, and nods at dalton.

dalton smiles, calm and charming, and tilts his head a bit. “he’s lying. i was his TA.”

kevin gives a smile. it’s small and faint, and mostly fake. he can’t help it. he doesn’t care for small talk like this. how old does that make dalton?

also, how did matt befriend his TA? kevin’s never spoken a word to the majority of his own.

“can’t imagine having to deal with him in class,” he says, jokingly.

matt doesn’t defend it, just shrugs and moves on. “hey, did you find a date to the banquet yet?” he wiggles his eyebrows.

kevin’s gonna kill him. he stuffs his hands into his hoodie pocket so he can ball his fists. “not yet, no.”

he nods, nudges dalton. “kevin’s on the exy team, too. he’s the only one without a date to the winter banquet this year,” he says. “allison, remember allison? she’s on a manhunt to find someone she approves of for him.”

dalton considers it. “that sounds like allison.”

kevin refrains from frowning. “have you met her?”

dalton has, just one time when he and matt went to a football game this fall and made a pit stop to matt’s room. it’s also when he met neil, albeit very briefly. neil had too much going on to give him the time of day.

“once, a month or so ago.”

when matt and dalton get into the car, dalton turns halfway in his seat to fully face matt. “he doesn’t have a date?” matt shakes his head. “is he into guys at all?”

matt glances at him. “yeah, he’s bisexual.”

dalton raises his eyebrows. “um, hello?! why didn’t you set him up with me?!”

matt frowns and shoots his friend a look. “why do you think we just went over?! i took psychology freshman year!”

dalton’s gonna kill him. “but you didn’t say anything about me to him.” matt rolls his eyes and waves him off, and dalton sits back in his seat.

“i know kevin, i know what i’m doing.”

he crosses his arms. “you’re the worst wingman i’ve ever met.”

but low and behold, kevin texts matt a few hours after his visit.

kevin: how do u know dalton would want to be my date to the banquet?

matt: bc he literally told me so

kevin: fine, ask him if he wants to go and i’ll take him.

when dalton climbs on the bus behind matt, it takes him only a moment to spot kevin and make his way over.

the banquet is five hours away, so the foxes and their dates are changing into their formalwear once they arrive.

dalton has joggers on, and a long sleeve henley that’s a size too big. his collarbone hangs out as the collar hangs low. he wears a soft smile, and pushes a hand back through his hair.

he looks hot.

dalton looks even more hot dressed up in his suit. he keeps at kevin’s side at first, and talks to both matt and dan from time to time. allison even pops up once to inquire about him, since he wasn’t one of her picks.

dalton and matt seem to joke around like they’re best friends. but he doesn’t ever remember matt mentioning him.

then again, if kevin had friends outside of exy, he may not introduce them to the foxes, either.

he finds his way back to kevin’s side at their table, where he’s talking to a trojan player. after a while, kevin turns to him. “you don’t have to stick by my side, if you don’t want.” he almost feels bad.

dalton shrugs and smiles. “what if i want to stick by your side?” the way that kevin reacts shows that he wasn’t expecting that, and dalton’s smile turns shy. “um, i don’t mind, really. i’d feel bad leaving you alone. i’m your date.” he takes a sip of his drink.

“okay.” it barely leaves kevin’s lips, but it’s enough to make dalton happy.

“you can even talk exy to me, if you want. i can pretend i know how it works.”

kevin’s heart seizes. “you don’t know exy?”

dalton grins. “i’ve never even seen a game.” he leans closer. “teach me?”

so he does. for the next half hour, they sit and kevin blabbers on, and dalton listens and asks questions. and then they sidetrack somehow to talking about marvel movies and what they suspect will happen in the next spiderman movie.

dalton swears to die on the grave that peter parker is a bisexual icon.

“you can take that title, instead, though.” his grin is cheeky. kevin lightly kicks his ankle and rolls his eyes, but he’s heavily amused.

“what about you? what are you?”

“gay,” he shrugs. “not much to it.”

“did you… when you told people, how did they react?”

dalton’s head tilts just a bit, and his smile starts to fade. “some people don’t like it, but it was fine for the most part.” and after a moment. “why, are you okay?”

kevin nods.

dalton doesn’t believe it. and he supposes he doesn’t know kevin enough to say that, but there’s something about the way kevin doesn’t verbally respond to it that sits weird in his head.

he props his chin in his hand. “i told my roommates i was gay the first week of freshman year. my roommate knew, but we had two suitemates, and one of them kinda stopped talking to me after that if he could help it.” he flicks his eyes up to meet kevin’s. “my uncle asks me at every family function if i’ve got a girl yet. he’s known for seven years, now,” he says. “and thanksgiving is now hosted at my house because my grandmother told my mother that i was unwelcome in hers.”

harsh.

“i’m sorry.”

he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to say, really. he barely has family as it is, but he can’t imagine losing them now because of something so small.

but dalton just shrugs a shoulder. “it’s okay. think about it this way, if i was still in the closet i wouldn’t be your date right now.” he cracks a smile. always smiling.

that’s when kevin notices just how close their faces are. and how he keeps glancing at dalton’s mouth. he sits back. not here.

dalton goes to the bathroom, and matt takes his seat. “how’s it going with dalton?”

kevin frowns. “fine, why? did he say something?”

matt’s face is indescribable. “no, but i see you guys getting all close and stuff. just flirt with him, dude! he obviously likes you.”

yeah right. “i-i don’t think so. he’s just here because i didn’t have a date.”

matt drops his head for a second. “kevin, after you first met him he scolded me for not setting you two up. he doesn’t watch exy, and he’s not here for the famous kevin day, just give him a chance.” kevin looks to the side, where dalton’s on his way back talking with dan at his side. they’re getting closer, so he talks fast and quiet. he stands. “don’t fuck this up, he’s hot and nice,” he whispers, and grins when dan slides into his side.

“we wanna dance. boys?” she looks expectantly at both kevin and matt. matt doesn’t have a choice, but he’d never say no anyway.

dan pulls kevin up and shoves him lightly into dalton, who catches a hand on his waist. kevin wants to squirm out of it, but not because he doesn’t like dalton, or dalton’s touch. just because the idea of liking dalton scares him a bit.

but dalton lets go when he finds his balance.

“i don’t- i can’t dance.”

“yeah right, i’ve seen you at eden’s before.”

when he was belligerently drunk.

“you don’t have to.” dalton’s voice is soft behind him.

matt slides his gaze to kevin. don’t fuck this up.

he turns. how has his life come to this? “no. i will, if you want to.”

dalton grins, lopsided and happy. “yeah?”

he hopes he doesn’t regret it. “yeah.”

so dalton takes him by the hand and leads him after matt and dan. the majority of the foxes are in the midst of the crowd as well, but they don’t pay them any mind. there’s enough people that kevin can pretend he’s at eden’s.

kevin is a terrible dancer. dalton notices it right away and laughs. when kevin gives him a look he says, “follow my lead. just sway a little. nod your head to the music,” kevin looks up at him while he dances, but catches dalton’s eyes instead.

he looks away and falls out of rhythm. “sorry,” he mumbles.

“it’s okay.” dalton gently takes kevin’s hands and puts them on his waist. it feels illegal. his hands feel like dead weights, he doesn’t know what to do.

is he blacking out right now?

but then dalton’s moving his hips and dancing, and laughing. he’s having fun and kevin wants to have fun too.

he moves his hands from dalton’s waist to around his neck, and dalton hesitates with his hands near kevin’s hips until kevin nods.

dalton’s fingers dip into his hips. his one finger taps along the beat of whatever song is playing, while he lightly sings along and bounces back and forth.

it’s dark on this side of the court with the exception of some colored lights darting around. the designated dancing spot.

kenna is kissing jack in the crowd.

kevin looks back to dalton, singing with a smile plastered on his face.

no one would notice.

kevin’s fingers twitch against dalton’s neck. but someone could.

he’s already out, but that doesn’t mean he’s kissed a boy in public yet.

he drops his arms. “i need some air.”

dalton let’s go, “are you okay?” but he just nods and takes off, off of the court and down the hall to the locker rooms. the foxes have their things in the away men’s locker room.

kevin sinks down on the bench. he plays with the bracelet around his wrist, courtesy of betsy in case he needs something to fidget with. opposed to panicking, that is.

that woman is never wrong.

kevin likes dalton, that’s not in question nor is it really the problem. the problem is that he doesn’t know what his problem is. if it’s what people will say when they see that he truly is into men.

being told something versus seeing proof that it’s real are two different things. he’s learned that, dealt with it more than once. the last time it was the proof of the raven’s bullying and abuse. being told that kevin and riko’s relationship isn’t what the fans fantasize it is versus then seeing proof that it isn’t anything that they thought, for example.

kevin had to deal with backlash like that for months after the raven’s investigation post championship game. him being bi isn’t the same, of course, but he doesn’t know how to predict the behaviors of his fans. he doesn’t know what they’ll support or not.

but he likes dalton.

“hey.”

one of the freshmen, eva, stands in the doorway. “stop running

you don’t have to be scared of people seeing you dance, you know.”

kevin frowns. “i don’t care about dancing.”

“yeah, but you care about dancing with your date.” they cross their arms and lean against the doorframe. “no one cares. half this team is a little gay, anyway.”

once they’ve changed for the night in the hotel room, dalton hesitates from where he stands by the bed. “are you okay? you seemed a little jittery all night, i just... i wanna make sure everything’s fine, i guess.”

kevin looks up, but doesn’t answer.

stop being so afraid of everything.

he opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t know what he can say.

he sighs.

dalton’s standing there, arms crossed, concerned. kevin swallows his fears as he makes his way across the room until he’s standing right in front of dalton, and slides a hand behind his neck to kiss him.

dalton hums, surprised. after a moment he brings a hand to kevin’s chest, and there’s a second where kevin thinks hes going to be pushed away. instead his fingers dig into his hoodie and he pulls kevin closer.

dalton’s smiling as kevin pulls away. “about time,” he mumbles, and kisses him again.

the back of dalton’s knees hit the bed by accident, but he drops down to sit and gently pulls kevin by the strings of his hoodie.

kevin isn’t new to sex, so to speak. he’s not the most experienced, but he’s had his fun. it’s the only reason he’s confident enough to scoot dalton further back and kiss him into the mattress.

dalton wraps an ankle around the back of kevin’s knee. he curls his fingers into his hair and leans his head back when kevin kisses down his neck.

they wake up to kevin’s phone blaring. matt’s calling.

kevin only acknowledges the fact that he has his arm around dalton for a second before he checks the time.

they’re late.

wymack’s gonna kill him.

kevin sits up and shakes dalton as he answers his phone. “hey you guys are awake right? coach is pulling the bus around then we’re loading up.”

kevin’s out of the bed and throwing his shirt on, tossing dalton’s hoodie to him. “yeah, we’re coming.” dalton’s eyes go wide and that kicks him into gear as he realizes the situation.

they look a mess as they run around. they’ve really only got one pair of clothes and their suits to frantically shove into their bags. kevin pulls his sneakers on without socks and dalton’s got his on with the laces all undone as they jog down the hall.

at least they brushed their teeth.

dalton drops down to tie his shoes in the elevator, and when he stands kevin takes the liberty of carding his fingers through his hair.

he shrugs. “bed head.”

dalton can’t help but smile. “might wanna pull this up a little,” he mumbles, and that’s when kevin realizes that he’d accidentally put on dalton’s long sleeve henley. the shirt he’d been wearing last night before it got dropped to the floor.

dalton pushes the shirt up so it’s not hanging lower on kevin’s collarbone. he’s got a nice hickey that needs hiding.

“they’re never going to let this go,” kevin says.

dalton leans back against the elevator wall. “i’ve got some juice on matt if you ever need.”

kevin smiles, just a little. despite him worrying all during the banquet, last night was so good. he doesn’t want it to end as soon as they step off of the bus. he doesn’t want dalton to be a one night stand, he doesn’t think.

he takes a step forward and kisses dalton against the wall once more. he pulls away when the elevator dings.

matt smiles to himself as he watches them come around the corner. he tries to tame it, at least.

kevin and dalton are the last on the bus. kevin’s spot in the back is open, so they go back there. dalton toes off his shoes as soon as he sits down.

kevin is on the aisle side. his chest skips when dalton’s hand lands gently on his thigh. he doesn’t hate it.

it’s dinner time when they get back to a rainy palmetto. dalton had fallen asleep on kevin’s shoulder a half hour ago, and jolts awake when matt whoops and shouts to get out of his way so he can run off the bus for the bathroom.

“sorry,” dalton says quietly, scratching his head and yawning into the back of his hand.

“i didn’t mind.” kevin stretches his legs and pulls his shoes on.

dalton’s car is in the gated stadium parking lot. kevin walks him to it, head ducked because all he’s got on is dalton’s henley. no one anticipated rain.

dalton turns after unlocking his car, and sticks a ripped off folded note into kevin’s palm. kevin puts it right into his pocket for safe keeping. “so are you gonna call me after this?” dalton’s hair is falling wet over his forehead.

he nods, mouths the word yeah but nothing comes out. and dalton can’t help himself, so he takes a step forward and kisses kevin one last time, gentle as he hesitates with his fingers hovering over his cheek.

kevin’s got nothing to lose at this point, so he curls his hand alone dalton’s neck and steps closer.

he only pulls away because the team is most likely watching, and someone whistles. “i’ll call you,” he nods. he shoves his hands into his pockets and ignores the rain as he watches dalton drive out of the parking lot.

he turns towards the maserati and sees andrew shakes his head. kevin looks down at himself. he’s halfway to soaked. not ideal for such an expensive car. which leaves one option.

kevin slides into the front seat of his father’s car.

wymack can’t wipe the smug look from his face. “so-“

“no.”

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willowbird · 4 years

Note

Prompts open? Bet maybe foxes(and Andrew) slowly finding out how fucked up Neil’s mom was to him?(I get it was to survive but it was still abuse)

Since this one got kinda... Uh... Long... And answered both of these prompts I decided to combine them!! I didn't include a separate one for Andrew because he's present for a couple of them and by the time I reached the end it was like 6600 words and an Andrew POV would probably add another 2000 because I'm me and I always get carried away with Andrew POV.

If you’d rather read this on AO3 you can do so here.

4 times the Foxes found out how fucked up Mary was to Neil, and the 1 time Neil actually admitted it

ONE - ALLISON

Allison had been taking Neil shopping, which in itself wasn't really a weird occurrence. Allison would take any of her teammates shopping if that's what needed to happen to get them to stop looking like a dirty hobo. As it happened, Neil was just the worst offender and so she pestered him about it more often than not. It was remarkable how the guy could be dating the Monster and still look like that. Not that Andrew Minyard was a fashion icon or anything, but the miniature psychopath at least understood the concept of aesthetic and made sure the people around him wore things that actually fit.

Well, most of the people around him.

Point being, Neil needed a bit of extra help, and Allison was more than happy to supply it. So she'd taken to dragging him out shopping with her once a week. It was basically therapy - and fuck if that boy didn't need some of that.

(But Allison wasn't going to say that in front of Neil or he'd probably get hives…)

Usually, the shopping trips all went about the same. Allison would drag Neil along, Neil would acquiesce until he got hungry, then he'd get bitchy and after Allison fed him he'd calm the fuck down enough to try on more things before refusing to get anything. On a very rare occasion she would get him to accept a shirt or a new pair of pants. His weakness was shoes, but she tries not to exploit that too often.

Today, however, was different - because today Allison caught Neil's eyes catching on a particular hoodie. If it had been just once she would have passed it off, but this was at least the fourth time Neil had sought it out in the whole ten minutes they'd been in the narrow clothing store and his eyes didn't just catch, they lingered. Which meant that Neil was interested, that he liked something. This was a breakthrough! Especially since the hoodie was new and had color, rather than the drab shit he was always wearing. It was a very pretty cerulean blue with black stitching and was of a less bulky design than the other two Neil owned (one of which was the Foxes one she'd never seen him wear off-campus). In the proper size it would fit his frame nicely, she could tell just by looking at it, and she was low-key impressed that something with general style had been the thing to catch his eye.

Allison grinned and nudged him. "Hey, just grab it. You could use a new hoodie."

Neil's attention snapped to her and Allison wasn't prepared for the flash of instinctive panic that raked through his eyes. "No, I didn't- I don't-" He raised his hands apologetically, which was weird, then seemed to catch himself and dropped them immediately. Allison could see him struggling not to look over at the sweatshirt and for the life of her she didn't understand why. But now she needed to know.

She gave him a look. "Uh, yes you did, and you do. What's the big deal? So what, you like it. Get it." She shrugged, hoping nonchalance would encourage him to stop being a weirdo about it.

"Nah," Neil said with a shrug. "It's fine. I've got hoodies."

Allison thought about letting it go, she really did, but she was too curious. But she also knew that the more she seemed to care about the answer she was prodding for, the less likely Neil was going to give it. So she pretended to look at some of the surrounding clothing without really registering what she was shuffling through. "You act like you've never bought something just because you wanted it before," she said with her usual level of scathing judgement.

"It was too dangerous," came Neil's distracted response. When Allison peaked over at him, her hand freezing on the shoulder of a sweater, about to slide it down the rack, she saw that he was looking at the hoodie again, studying it with a too-careful blankness she was beginning to recognize as Neil-in-memory.

"Getting something you wanted was too dangerous?" It was harder this time to keep her tone casual but she managed it well enough that Neil didn't fully snap out of his thoughts, wherever they were.

He shrugged. "It was distracting. If you had things you cared about you'd lose sight of survival, or make stupid mistakes."

Allison just stared at him. "You weren't allowed to have things you wanted… because they'd be distracting? Neil that's really fucked up."

Neil looked over at her and grimaced, pulling away from the hoodie. "Whatever, it's not a big deal. Come on, are you done shopping yet?"

For another moment Allison stared, then she stalked forward and violently grabbed the hoodie from the rack, ignoring Neil's startled protests.

"No," she said, pointing at him with her free hand. "You aren't some kid on the run anymore and you don't have to follow your mom's fucked up rules. If you want something, you're going to get it, damn it." If Neil tried to protest again she didn't see it because she'd already whirled around to head up toward the checkout.

Fuck you, Mary.

TWO - DAN

Team Night was something Dan instated right after finals last year. One night a week they all got dinner after practice. The whole team had to be there for at least part of the time. Sometimes they got along, sometimes they fought like half-crazed rabbis raccoons, but they were all together in a situation that wasn't about exy (no matter how many times Kevin or Neil brought it up). If there was anything Dan had learned over her years as Team Captain, it was that they would always operate better on the court if they could also work together off of it.

Tonight they'd gone out to dinner with the whole team before splitting off into various groups back at the dorms. Renee had gone off with Allison and Nicky while Aaron had left right from the restaurant to meet up with Katelyn. The freshmen had split into their own groups - they were still working out their hierarchy among themselves and Dan knew by now that she just had to let it happen - which had left her and Matt and, surprisingly enough, Neil and Andrew. She hadn't really expected the other two to accept her invitation to join them in Matt's room for a movie, but when she's offered Neil had easily agreed and Andrew hadn't protested.

A part of her had still expected Andrew to peel off and go back to his own dorm once they'd returned to Fox Tower, but the reticent goalkeeper had followed them all into the room with no complaint.

"All right!" Matt announced with a grin once the door was shut and locked behind them, crossing to where he kept the booze. "Power Couple Movie Night! Whatcha guys want? Babe?"

Dan chuckled and rolled her eyes affectionately. "You're ridiculous and I love you. I'll have a whisky sour." She looked to Andrew and Neil. "What about you guys? He just stocked up so there's a bit of everything."

"Babe, you're making me sound like an alcoholic."

Dan dismissed the complaint with a wave of her hand and smiled over at the other two.

"Whisky straight." That was Andrew.

Neil just shrugged. "I don't need anything," he said.

"Do you have Dr. Pepper?" Andrew asked, apparently not done.

Matt nodded, lifting a mostly-full two-liter for him to see and setting it on the surface of the cabinet.

"He'll have that with amaretto."

"Andrew."

"Neil."

Dan tried not to be too obvious about how closely she was watching them. It wasn't even a 'how could they be together?' thing. It was just that… Neil was this big mystery, and Andrew was also a big mystery. And now they were together and that just made the mystery balloon exponentially. The two of them fit together in a way that was somehow both surprising and like nothing in the world could make more sense. They had a whole language together of looks and gestures, of silent understandings that the rest of them couldn't even begin to interpret. In a way, this was just like any other couple. Even now, Dan shot a glance over at Matt and they shared a look of their own before resuming their subtle observations of the other couple. Somehow it was different with Andrew and Neil though. Somehow it seemed… heavier. It was fascinating and also kinda unsettling, which only made Dan want to figure it out even more.

After an extended silence where Neil and Andrew had some indecipherable conversation with their eyes alone, Neil sighed, apparently conceding defeat, and nodded agreement to his boyfriend's drink order.

"All right! Neilio is drinking with us tonight!" Matt pumped a fist into the air, shattering the residual tension with his enthusiasm. Dan had probably never loved anyone so much in her life.

Neil smirked his own affection for the big lug and flopped onto the couch, Andrew following with less flourish but a level of relaxed comfort that made Dan's heart soar. It was really happening. Andrew was letting himself trust them, letting himself be a part of the team, letting himself be… one of their friends.

Matt finished making their drinks and brought them over on a serving tray he had been a little bit too excited to buy.

Neil took his drink and cautiously sniffed it, wrinkling his nose. "It smells sweet," he complained.

"You have two choices when it comes to liquor, Josten. It either tastes sweet or it tastes like alcohol." Andrew was entirely unsympathetic, though his gaze remained focused on Neil even as he sipped his whisky. Apparently, this was some either-or that Neil was willing to concede to because he sighed and sipped the drink. After a moment he hummed and took another sip. Another sip turned into a second drink as the four of them collectively decided to skip the movie and instead hang out and talk about the worst movies they'd ever seen. Andrew, surprisingly, had a lot to contribute - as he had apparently seen a lot of movies and had Opinions about all of them. It was very weird and kinda surreal, but also made Dan feel almost giddy.

"Well shit, Neil, if it was just a matter of you not liking the taste of alcohol we'd have stocked up on wine coolers ages ago," Matt said as he handed Neil his third glass later on in the night. He grinned and perched on the armrest of her chair. Dan smiled up at him when he put his arm around her, leaning against him and sipping her own drink as she turned her attention back to the other couple.

The other couple. Well, that was weird.

"Nah, I still wouldn't have had anything," Neil said after another, fuller drink. He leaned back, comfortable. Dan noticed that he and Andrew weren't touching but there was still a weird intimacy with their proximity. It hurt her brain to think about so she didn't focus on it overmuch. Then Neil said, "Mom only brought out the alcohol when I needed to be stitched up," and Dan froze with her drink halfway back up to her mouth. Neil didn't seem to notice, looking into his cup as he continued. "No hospitals, you know, and when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud about it unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all."

And when I was a kid I always cried a lot and was really loud unless I was too drunk to feel anything at all.

When I was a kid…

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. Dan peripherally noticed that she wasn't the only one who had gone still. It was so rare for Neil to say anything about his time before he joined the Foxes. It was even more rare for him to bring up his mother - especially in such a… disturbingly revealing way.

Matt was the one to break the silence. "When you say you were a kid you mean…?" There was a false lightness in his voice, like he was trying not to alert Neil to how much he was revealing. Andrew cut him a glare but then looked to Neil without interrupting.

Neil shrugged, swirling his glass lightly, apparently fascinated with the ice as it clinked gently against the sides of the glass. He poked at them with his mixing straw. "Mm, Lola scared me, y'know? I didn't want her to stitch me up. So I begged mum. Dad would hurt her too if she couldn't keep me quiet. I tried, but being noisy was always a problem for me. 's how I usually got in trouble anyhow. Or by not being still enough. Or dropping knives." Neil shivered, his free hand rubbing against a spot on his abdomen like he was worrying away at a memory, some phantom ache from a past that he could never quiet escape from.

Andrew, apparently, had decided this was enough. He reached forward and pulled the glass from Neil's hand with a gentleness that shouldn't surprise Dan anymore. He set the glass on the table and stood, then tugged Neil up with him. He didn't let go of the striker's hand even when he got the other man standing. Once he was sure the other would be steady he glanced over at them with a dark, steady threat in his eyes. "We are leaving now."

A sound beside her alerted Dan to the beginning of Matt's protest and she elbowed him before he could complete it. In its place, she gave a strained smile and nodded. "Of course. You guys are probably tired. See you tomorrow!"

Neil raised his hand in a small wave but he still seemed a little lost, his expression closed, his mind somewhere else.

When the door closed behind them, Matt stood up and walked over to lock it, then he stood there for a moment before turning to face her. His expression was dark and angry and echoed the storm stirring in his own heart.

"Neil went on the run when he was ten."

It might have seemed a random statement, but Dan was following the same line of thought and she nodded. They'd known that Neil's dad was a bastard, knew he'd been hurt by him and his people when they'd been on the run and it wasn't a far toss to infer that he'd been hurt earlier too. But this confirmation was blood-chilling. Mary's part in it was not comforting.

"She did nothing, Dan. She did nothing. She let him get hurt and then she got him drunk as a little fucking kid to stitch him up again. I know it was a fucked up situation, and I'm sure it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows for her but fuck Dan. Fuck."

Dan nodded, setting down her drink and rising from the chair so she could go to Matt. She knew that she only had a surface understanding of the situation. She couldn't imagine what Mary might have gone through herself, but she couldn't find enough compassion in her heart to make excuses for her. Maybe that made her heartless, she didn't fucking care. What she cared about was that Mary let her own son be hurt badly enough that he needed to get drunk and get stitched up over and over again, before and after they went on the run. What she cared about was that Mary hurt her son over and over herself in order to control him, to keep him under her thumb. Maybe she did it because that's how she thought she was protecting him but intentions meant shit.

Lesser evils were still evil.

There are always choices, always options, and Mary's choices had traumatized Neil just as much as the Butcher's had. Maybe Neil had complicated feelings about his mother but Dan didn't. She had a very clear opinion, actually.

Fuck you, Mary.

THREE - MATT

"Okay so, but why Andrew?" Matt didn't mean anything negative with the question, but he flipped a hand in apology when Neil glared over at him. "I didn't mean it that way. I mean like -- is your type short, blond, and stabby or…?"

"I don't have a type. I don't swing."

Well that made no sense.

"Except for Andrew," Matt clarified, reminding Neil that he was self-admittedly committed to the Monster.

Neil nodded without hesitation. "Except for Andrew," he agreed.

"Right… but… why? Why only Andrew? Didn't you ever like… like other guys, or girls?" Matt studied his best friend, desperate to understand him. He wasn't even being anti-Andrew about this, he was just trying to learn more about Neil and this integral part of him. Neil said he didn't swing, and then of all people to fall for - he falls for Andrew. Matt had thought that maybe Neil had been shy about admitting he was gay or something, but Neil was pretty confident about the whole not-swinging thing. Matt got that there were other sexualities out there, but the idea of just… not wanting anything just didn't make sense to him.

He was surprised when Neil actually said -- "Sure, yeah, when I was like, fourteen or whatever. I wouldn't say I liked anyone, but I noticed girls."

Matt blinked and looked over at him, letting the game controller rest on his lap. "Wait, you did?"

Neil shrugged. "Yeah, but it wasn't allowed so…"

"It wasn't… allowed?" Matt frowned, lost.

"My mom knew they'd be a distraction, that it was too dangerous for me to fall for someone. I don't think it occurred to her that I might like a guy, so when she realized I was noticing girls she made sure I didn't anymore."

Matt was silent for a long moment, letting the implication of that sink in. "When you said she 'made sure' you didn't notice girls…?"

Neil shrugged. "I was stupid. Just telling me wasn't going to do anything." But his friend's casual nonchalance was gone and Matt watched as the other man withdrew into himself. His expression closed down and he scratched his nails through his hair, against his scalp in an anxious tick Matt was pretty sure Neil didn't even realize he did.

A flare of rage heated his lungs and it took concentrated effort to swallow it down. He could imagine what Mary might have done to her son to drill the lesson home.

"That's really fucked up, Neil."

Neil just shrugged, then nodded at the tv. "Are you gonna play or what?" Matt could see that his friend didn't want to talk about it so he let it go, but he wasn't going to forget it.

"Yeah. How about you order some pizza or something? I'm getting fucking hungry." A bit of the tension broke and Neil flashed him a small smile before pushing off the couch to go get his phone to make the order. Matt watched him go and took another breath to make sure his anger was packed away for later.

Fuck you, Mary.

FOUR - NICKY

Christmas! Nicky was so fucking excited about Christmas this year. Not only would Erik be coming into town, but the whole family would be there! Well, the family that mattered anyway. Aaron was bringing Katelyn, Andrew would be there and participating, and Neil was staying with them for the entirety of winter break. It was going to be amazing!!

Already, in the few days since school had let out, Nicky had set about Christmas-ifying the whole house and it was looking amazing if he did say so himself, which he did.

Today was going to be particularly exciting because he had managed to get Neil to agree to go Christmas shopping with him. Erik would be arriving tomorrow morning and Nicky still hadn't gotten his present. Or Aaron's. Or Andrew's. Or Neil's… He'd gotten Katelyn's though! He'd seen an absolutely gorgeous sweater at the mall the other week in just her color so he'd swiped it up. Point being, he had some catching up to do and he suspected that Neil was also behind on his Christmas shopping.

This was confirmed shortly after they arrived at the mall and Nicky asked Neil what he'd gotten for Andrew.

Neil blinked at him, like he was caught off guard by the question.

"I don't think we're getting each other anything," he said, looking downright confused.

"Oh. Oh Neil. Oh Neil no. No, you are definitely getting gifts for each other. You're a couple!"

Neil looked vaguely uncomfortable as he shrugged, but he didn't deny the label and Nicky counted that as progress. "I don't think we're the gift-giving kind…"

Clearly, Neil hadn't been paying attention to the fact that Andrew had been gifting Neil at every fucking opportunity since they'd met. Clothes, keys, food, drinks, more clothes, a phone. At first, Nicky had just thought it was Andrew being possessive in the way he was possessive of all the people he'd decided we're his. It wasn't until after the two had come clean about their relationship (relationship!!!) that Nicky had thought back and realized that Andrew wasn't half as generous with the rest of them. Honestly, Nicky was a bit embarrassed for not noticing it all sooner. This whole time, Nicky thought he was being cryptic when he was just being really, really gay. For shame.

"Mm, well," Nicky hedged, feeling pity for the poor blind idiot. At least he was cute. "You're wrong, but we won't get into it. Just trust me when I say that Andrew has definitely gotten you something." Probably multiple things, actually, but Nicky didn't want to shock the poor cute dummy. "And you can't tell me that you don't want to give him a gift." Nicky stopped, frowning at Neil in disapproval.

"It's not that," Neil admitted, and Nicky wasn't sure he'd ever seen the younger man look more awkward.

"Then what is it. Come on, kid, tell Uncle Nicky."

Neil made a face. "Only if you never say that again."

Nicky laughed, though he realized Neil had a point. That might have been a bit much. "Deal. So what is it?"

Neil shrugged, fidgeting in a restless way that Nicky recognized as one of Neil's tells when he was uncertain or nervous. Neil was someone who needed to be in motion, someone who needed to do things. Nicky related to that, heavily, so he linked his arm through Neil's and tugged him into walking again. The motion seemed to help, and after a few minutes, Neil finally spoke up.

"I've never really done the whole Christmas or birthday thing. Especially not since me and my mom, you know…" He drifted off vaguely, gesturing with one hand like that's was supposed to indicate all the time he and his mom were running from his psycho dad and his evil butcher-buddy minions. Nicky nodded like it had and Neil continued. "It just feels… weird, you know. Like it's a thing that real people do. They go to school and they have holidays with families that don't want to kill them or each other. They buy each other presents that they don't need and that's… normal. But it just doesn't make sense to me."

There was a lot to unpack there, but Nicky's mind caught on the first thing Neil had said and it kept replaying over and over on his head like a skipping record.

Like it's a thing that real people do.

Like Neil wasn't… real.

Nicky stopped walking again, his heart clenching suddenly in his chest. "Wait, hold on. Rewind. Neil, you realize that you are a real person, right?"

Tension wiped Neil's face into an awful blankness and normally Nicky would let it go. He'd make a joke and try and get them back to something lighter, but this was… something was just so wrong about that and he couldn't ignore it.

"Neil," he implored, hands on both the younger man's shoulders, gripping tightly, willing him to open up to him.

Maybe it was a testament to the season of sharing, or maybe it was proof that he and Neil had come a long way since those first few months over a year ago, but for whatever reason, Neil didn't brush him off and he didn't pull away. Instead, he sighed and gave a small shrug, shuffling his feet as he apparently searched for the right words like they were hidden between his shoelaces.

"I didn't feel real for a long time, you know. I couldn't be. Mom was the one who made all the identities for me, the one who chose the names and the covers. She was the one who created everything about the boys I was supposed to be, down to their interests in school and outside of it, just in case someone asked me when she wasn't around. She'd test me on them. I studied those boys with more dedication than I studied for my classes when I was actually in school."

Nicky frowned, confused. "What about your interests and what you were like."

Neil shrugged. "I didn't have any. I wasn't like anything, unless you can count fear as a personality trait."

That… didn't make sense. Neil was saying words, and individually, Nicky knew what they meant, but his brain was struggling to comprehend exactly what they meant when put together in that order.

"But… that's not possible. What about when you saw something you liked, or wanted, or did something that you just… enjoyed. A tv show or, fuck, math. You like math right? That's a part of your personality." He heard the desperation in his own voice but he was too distracted by the conundrum of Neil's 'I wasn't a real person's reveal that he didn't even care to attempt to rein it in.

"Not until I got to Palmetto," Neil admitted. "I didn't have to take a math class my senior year because my forged transcripts already had the required number of classes to graduate and it seemed conspicuous to take more than that. Your average teenager doesn't like math."

"But you thought about it, right? When you were signing up for classes, you thought about adding math, then actively chose not to." A picture of understanding was beginning to form and Nicky felt a little bit sick with what it showed.

Neil frowned, like he was thinking about it, then gave a small nod of reluctant agreement.

"So… there was something you liked, something that was you and you just, what, instinctively went 'No, bad idea'. Why?"

"It's what my mom would have done," was Neil's instant, confident reply. He hadn't even had to think about that one. Then, to Nicky's horror, he elaborated with, "Mom was a stickler on that kind of stuff. If I liked something, if I felt pulled to anything, it was dangerous and bad. I learned quickly enough to avoid anything that interested me so it wouldn't distract me. Surviving was what was important."

Yeah. Yeah Nicky definitely felt a bit sick now.

"When you say that you 'learned quickly enough'...?" Nicky wasn't sure he actually wanted to know, but that didn't stop him from asking the question.

"Mom--" Neil actively stopped himself this time. "It isn't important. Look… are we going to go shopping or what?"

Nicky wasn't willing to let it go. "Neil. Did she… like, hurt you? For having interests?"

Now Neil looked more than just a little uncomfortable, and the way he didn't meet Nicky's eyes was all the answer he needed. Nicky wanted to hug Neil just then, but he managed, at the last second, to hold himself back. He'd probably pushed harder than he should have already and he was trying to be better about boundaries. Instead he squeezes his shoulders and then pulled his hands away.

"Well, come on. Let's finish shopping. I'll help you pick out something for Andrew if you aren't sure what to get him."

Neil looked so visibly relieved that Nicky's heart broke. "Ah, yeah… thanks Nicky." The small smile he shot him was enough that Nicky forgot the boundary thing and just hugged him. Ugh, that poor kid. No wonder he was so confused whenever anyone was kind to him if his own mother had treated him like he wasn't even a real person to the point where Neil had legitimately started to believe it. Nicky had his issues with his parents, all the Foxes did -- it was part of what made them Foxes -- but this was kind of another level.

Nicky kept his arm around Neil's shoulders as he lead the younger man off to shop, now determined to make this the best fucking Christmas ever. Because Neil was a real fucking person and he deserved that frivolous normalcy. He deserved to like things and to want things.

Fuck you, Mary.

+1 - AARON

Aaron didn't usually care about whatever was happening in Josten's weird little brain. It wasn't a place he was eager to explore, to be perfectly fucking honest, and he was unfortunate enough to be subjected with the assshole's proximity often enough as it was. However, it was hard to ignore the man when he was having a literal mental breakdown right in front of him. He wished he could. He wished he could turn around and walk away, shut the door, and go back to not caring. Unfortunately, parallels had just been drawn that he couldn't unsee and now turning his back on Neil almost felt personal. It was incredibly uncomfortable and for a long moment Aaron just sat there, silent, in the wake of what just happened.

It had gone like this:

Andrew and Neil had been on separate ends of the couch doing homework. Nicky and Kevin were still sleeping off the trip to Eden's Twilight last night, and Aaron was slowly letting himself wake up to a hot cup of coffee and some random show on tv. Then that random show had transitioned into some kind of true crime show that had dragged everyone's attention to the screen with a single word.

Wesninski.

As it turned out, the show wasn't actually about the Wesninskis, but rather about crime in Europe. The Wesninski mention was due to the current segment on the Hatfords, a British crime syndicate -- the one Neil's mother hailed from. It was her picture on the screen when their collective attention all snapped to the screen, and the tension in the room suddenly increased tenfold.

Mothers were a bit of a complicated topic for everyone in the room. It was also probably the one thing that Andrew was unwilling to touch with a ten-foot pole, not even for Neil - and Aaron was long since past denying that those two had something going on far deeper than sexual tension and a disdain for ninety percent of humanity.

So the room had frozen, holding a breath with a shared lung. Then Andrew had stood, moving to snatch up the remote so he could turn off the TV when Neil said, "No."

Aaron had never seen Andrew stop so fast in his life. His twin's face remained blank, but there was a darkness in his eyes that Aaron was queasily familiar with. It was a cruel, angry darkness and he didn't envy Neil for being the subject of it as Andrew turned his gaze on the striker.

"If you want to cry over that bitch I am not going to stick around to suffer it." The words came out low and hissed and even Aaron could hear the sharp rage beneath the forced facade of indifference Andrew was attempting to keep in place.

Neil looked like he wanted to hit Andrew but he managed to keep his response to a sharp, venomous, "Fuck you."

Andrew held the remote up to eye level then dropped it. It landed hard enough on the table that it bounced off, the back popping off and the batteries scattering. Then he was striding out the front door. Aaron expected it to slam, but somehow the gentle click of it just under the murmur of the crime show was just as finite.

It was like getting to watch a moment he'd lived over and over again over the course of years from the outside for the first time. In fact, it wasn't like that - that's what it was. Something anxious and sick curled in the pit of his stomach as Aaron looked from the closed door to Neil's tense, shaken form. He hated this. He hated sympathising with Neil. He hated understanding Andrew's anger. He hated not being able to pick a side. Aaron had heard enough about Mary Hatford to know that she was just as fucked up as Nathan Wesninski, dragging her son around, forcing him into isolation, beating him, fucking him over socially for his whole damn life when she probably could have just saved them both by either going straight to the FBI or calling up her own crime family. He knew that Neil didn't blame his mom when he probably should. He knew he made excuses, that he grieved for her. He knew he missed her and he also knew that it was really, supremely fucked up.

He also knew that he was just as guilty for the unworthy idolization of an abuser. It had taken him years to get to the point where he was willing to admit that, though. It was meeting Katelyn that had him finally looking at his past with a sobering dose of reality. It was only after months of wrestling with himself that he'd finally been able to accept the truth. Months of Katelyn's steadfast support, months of sessions with Bee beyond the joint sessions with Andrew, months of introspection that left him mentally and emotionally wrung dry -- and Tilda hadn't had half the physical and emotional ammo that Mary Hatford had probably levied against her young son.

Aaron watched Neil vibrate in place, watched his hands curl and his throat work, watched the pain and the rage and the grief flash through his eyes even as he tried to swallow it all down. He watched Neil, but he saw himself, and it was more than disconcerting.

He didn't make the conscious decision to speak before he said, "I get it." In fact, he almost didn't realize he had spoken until Neil snapped his attention over to him like he'd forgotten he was still in the room at all.

Neil didn't respond, probably too caught up with the war in his own head to form words -- a rarity for the loud-mouthed striker.

"She was all you had," Aaron said, and he wasn't sure if he was actually talking to Neil, or talking to the version of himself that still clung to the corner of his memories, desperate to validate the only person that might have loved him, the one person that should have loved him, when he needed it the most. "She was all you had, and that's what kept you going. Not her rules and not whatever it was that she did to make sure you survived. That it was her and you, that you had each other, and that that meant something. She'd do whatever it took to protect you, she was the only one who would do that, and it was everything, right?"

He could tell by the widening of Neil's eyes that he'd hit the nail on the head. He didn't look away as he continued with his truths, knowing he was probably the only person that had ever vocalized an understanding -- that he was probably the only person who could understand.

"And then she was gone. And it wasn't only her that died. It was everything that she was supposed to be. She died, and all you had left were the 'almost's and 'not enough's and the 'never again's. And if you let yourself believe that she was just as bad then everything was for nothing. All the times you cared. All the times you tried. All the times you did everything you could to be what she expected of you. None of it would matter, because she was gone, and she could never redeem herself, and it was all pointless." Aaron heard his voice like someone else was speaking. It was too calm, too quiet, too knowing. It didn't feel the desert in his chest, scorching and dry and far too exposed. He saw Neil's reaction like he was looking in a mirror and it was more than a little bit unsettling. He understood the flash of anger in his eyes, the stubborn refusal in the set of his jaw, then the reluctant acceptance when his shoulders dropped. Aaron hated understanding anything about Neil Josten. He hated even more that it was this that they had to share. Something so raw, so close to home it had a permanent home inside his chest, nestled between his lungs. It wasn't fair.

Then again, he was a Fox for a reason he guessed. Life just wasn't fucking fair to a Fox.

Neil looked away, then deflated against his corner of the couch. He tilted his head back and Aaron saw his throat work as he fought emotions neither of them wanted Aaron to be a witness to. Aaron averted his eyes. He only looked up again when Neil spoke. The other man's voice was quiet but steady.

"The one thing she harped on most, more than anything else, was how attachments to anyone or anything other than my own survival were going to get me killed. Even to her. She told me so many times to run, leave her behind, but I… I never could. She never left me behind, even when there were times when I wanted her to. She'd probably be rolling in her grave if she could see me now…" Neil's voice drifted off as his gaze locked on the front door over Aaron's shoulder. Aaron didn't need to be psychic to know that he was thinking specifically about Andrew, about how much he'd risked for Andrew - not just to be with him, but also to protect him. Going to Evermore, allowing Nathan's men to take him quietly… yeah, Mary probably wouldn't be too happy about that, and not in the caring, not wanting Neil hurt way. She'd be pissed that Neil cared about something so much to take that risk, after all she'd done to try and beat that ability out of him.

"She was trying to make me soulless," Neil said without taking his eyes away from the door. "She hated it so much whenever I showed any glimmer of a personality. Whenever I was anything other than a possession she kept and controlled. My mother loved me, in her own way…" His mouth tensed, pursed, then he looked at Aaron.

For a moment, the two of them just looked at each other, a shared understanding between them.

"That's not enough," Aaron finally said.

Neil looked down, then up, meeting his eyes. "No," he agreed, "it's not."

On the tv, the show was still talking about the Hatfords. Not all that much time had actually passed since the segment started. Neil looked at the tv, then stood and gathered up the scattered pieces of the remote. He put it back together and spared one more glance at the screen, which now showed a picture of the Hatford family at some event when Mary and her brothers were teenagers. Then he lifted the remote and resolutely changed the channel.

"I'm going to take the car to pick up some food, you want anything?" Neil asked as he moved to get his shoes, then take his keys from the hook near the door.

Aaron snorted. "No. I'll order something if I get hungry." There was still some time until he'd want lunch, but he knew this dance by now. Neil and Andrew would drive off together. If he wanted food he was better off taking it into his own hands. It was entirely likely the other two wouldn't be back until closer to dinner.

Neil nodded once, then was out the door. Aaron watched him go, then sighed and turned back to his coffee, considering it.

He didn't like sharing something with Neil fucking Josten. It was annoying and uncomfortable. But all the same… he understood. And like it or not, they were tied together now. Maybe he wasn't ready to say 'fuck you' to the memory of his own mother, and Neil definitely wasn't ready to do the same regarding Mary Hatford, but they could acknowledge the similarities in their stories and that was a start -- for both of them.

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes. He pointedly didn't think about his own mother and instead let himself eagerly latch onto the other man's sympathetic demon as he thought, with vehemence, 'Fuck you, Mary.'

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awakenatmidnights · 3 years

Text

aftg hc where they visit a ghost town because i can't see why not????

andrew: take a guess, come on, it's not hard. of course this motherfucker had to pick every single lock in the town. the weird thing about it? he picked the lock, looked around the inside of the house and if he didn't find what we was looking for he just left. what he was looking for, neil didn't know. (also he might have locked neil inside each house more than a couple times, relishing every time he got out after just a few seconds wearing the most unimpressed look on his face) ((++ also, the thing he was looking for in the houses? graffiti. sometimes he found real, beautiful paintings, other times just dicks. well, he wasn't there to judge. better take what he could get.))

kevin: spent the three weeks prior to the trip researching all kinds of facts about the town and made sure to tell everyone every single detail about them ["someone once pushed their newborn from these stairs" "how the actual fuck have you even gotten this information kevin-"]. and to repeat it a few more times just in case, you know. for the people in the back. not because he couldn't stop talking about it, nah-uh. not him, wrong bitch.

dan: needless to say. pictures. pictures of everything. pretty flowers, the panorama with the mountains, last century's street lamps, old street signs, everything. and yes, she sure as hell climbed throughout the highest houses to make the picture fit more into the ✨aesthetic✨. that building is too tall for her to climb on it you say? fucking watch her. she can and she fucking will.

neil: at first he couldn't make out why everybody was so excited about this trip. i mean, what's so exciting about an abandoned town? people used to live here, now they don't, what's so special about it? he just followed andrew around for a while, listening to his probably made up ghost stories, making out with him in the deserted streets and basically living the dream until he figured out his own thing to do, which is? every single illegal thing imprinted in the what-you-can’t-do-in-a-ghost-town global agenda. stealing souvenirs, writing on the walls (in most cases something related to exy or a simple ‘hi:)’ bc this boy has no sense of civility smh), stomping on the rotten floorboards. you know, the basic. he also wanted to stay the night just so he could traumatize aaron and kevin but one can’t have everything, can he?

matt: found a random cat in the streets and proceeded to gave them food, water, his dorm keys, his heart, fifty bucks, every single thing he could find in his (dan's) bag. AND when the cat started purring in his hand oh boy was he gone. if someone asked him literally anything about the trip, the only thing he’d be able to talk about would be the damn cat. after he ran into it he couldn’t give one single shit about the town and he still strongly stands by that.

allison: she did not come to play, i can tell you that. when they got there some fucker had the guts to laugh at her 6 inches heels (about 15cm for my fellow europeans like me) and not only she made sure to kick him in the balls with said heels, but also managed to go back and forth the entire fucking town with them. not to demonstrate the fucker something, but because she can. the fucking power she holds. (++ insert here renee being a big lesbian™ watching her from afar)

aaron: he literally walked (mostly) alone around every single corner of the town ["aaron we're ready to go home, where are you?" "at the church" "there is a church????"] and asked kevin for the creepiest, weirdest facts about everything. it was a win-win situation for both of them, really. he is a sucker for these things and as he SHOULD leave him alone 😤

nicky: tried to follow aaron around for a while before realizing he was lost in his own world, so he got back to the others after no more than half an hour. he then proceeded to complain about having to walk so damn much because it shouldn't be an exy training and this should be their day off from the court for fucks sake. he also takes a lot of pictures and selfies for erik, and if he then spends the night skyping and laughing with him about every time any of the foxes slipped or fell in the concrete, then nobody has to know. (yes, he caught kevin slipping on camera. no, he hasn't showed him yet because he's too good of a soul to die this young. his words, definitely not mine.)

renee: she was everywhere at any given time, nobody still knows how. she helped matt feed the cat, walked around with andrew and neil, listened to kevin rambling all over the town. also, they only realize this the day later when talking about the trip, in the comfort of their dorms. dan lets casually slip something like "i was just about to fall from those stairs, thank god renee was there to catch me haha" and just laughs it off til nicky's like "??? what are you talking about??? i've been with renee almost the whole trip and you were literally in the opposite side of the town?????" and when they turn to her for explanations she just gives her most loving, innocent smile. today it's still unknown what really happened and they're not so sure they want to know anymore.

[[hey! editing this just to let you know that you can find the actual pics of the ghost town i visited here!!]]

#i went to a ghost town in august and this has been hanging around in my head since then #aftg #tfc #the foxhole court #aftg shitpost #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #renee walker #matt boyd #dan wilds #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #headcanon #hc #aftg headcanon #aftg hc

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kar3npage · 5 years

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The 5 times one of the Foxes saw Andrew smile, and the one time all of them saw him smile

Because I love the 5+1 format, and because I just want Andrew and Neil to be happy. (Also I’ve decided that of course they would get married, because that just makes sense).

My apologies for any mistakes, this was written all in one go this afternoon and I was too excited to wait before posting. I’m also trying to sign up for ao3 so I can post it there, I’ll update when that happens:)

Thanks for reading!

The mood in the room was unusually somber before the Palmetto Foxes third game of the season. This was especially unusual because they weren’t expecting any sort of backlash, and the team that they were playing against was pretty tame. No one had any particular fear against the Terrapins and the two teams were mostly friendly.

Allison knew that the dark vibe was from the silence that came from the corner that Neil and Andrew sat in.

Besides the cat fights with the new Foxes, everyone on the team has been working well together this year. The upperclassmen and Andrews group had an unbreakable bond from the events of last year, although they all pretended that they couldn’t care less about the other group (except for Matt. He couldn’t pretend to not care if his life depended on it, the sweet puppy).

Neil’s silence was accompanied by a far away gaze and sickly pale skin. Allison had already pulled him aside in the dorms to lecture him about playing while sick, but he insisted that he was fine. Allison had let him go, assuming that Andrew would take care of him. Now she was wondering if she should have pushed harder, since he looked absolutely determined to play today.

Renee’s soft nudge distracted Allison from their almost dead looking striker and she gave her an understanding look.

“I’m sure he’ll take care of himself,” Renee says quietly. Allison squeezes her hand, grateful to have her to lean against. She still wasn’t sure how Renee managed to understand exactly what everyone was thinking with such accuracy.

“Okay people, we’ve gotten a strong start, let’s keep that up,” Wymack says gruffly, sending a concerned look toward Neil. “If any of you aren’t feeling up to it, tell me now so we can change the starting line-up.”

Everyone looks at Neil, who stares straight ahead like he hadn’t heard Coach. He turns his head to avoid Andrews dark look, then gets up stiffly.

“We done Coach? Dan and I would like to start drills soon,” Neil says. Allison snorts at his poor attempt at changing the subject, but Wymack just lets him go with a nod.

As they make their way over to the court Allison sees Wymach snag Andrew. “You’ll keep an eye on him?” she hears him say. She doesn’t hear Andrew answer, but she knows that he will.

They’re up, 4-2, by the time the first half is done. Allison had kept her eye on Neil every time she was off, but he had looked fine while playing. Abby wasn’t able to check in with him during half-time though, too busy dealing with Jack’s minor injury that he had gotten from getting checked into the plexiglass. Allison had to admit that she had very little sympathy for the kid.

Everything was going fine until almost the end of the next half. Allison hadn’t been paying much attention to the health of her team while she was playing, focused more on actually playing, but no one could ignore the loud slam that came from near the other teams goal.

Allison instinctively looked toward the noise to find out who was down.

The game was still going, but slumped against the wall across from her was Neil. Allison didn’t hesitate to run over to him, abandoning the goal for Andrew to look after.

One of the Terrapins backliners stood beside him, helmet off and looking sweetly concerned. He starts babbling as soon as Allison makes it over to them.

“I swear, it wasn’t that hard of a hit,” he says frantically. Allison understood the panic-it had less to do with Neil and more to do with what might happen to the poor kid when Andrew got here.

Allison ignores him and tugs Neils helmet off to reveal his deathly pale face. His eyes start fluttering as he wakes up, and he’s able to put his hand up to stop the game. Allison hears a smack behind her, but she ignores it.

“Neil, where are you hurt?” she says. It comes out irritated, but she knows that Neil will get that it’s out of concern.

“‘M fine,” he mumbles, trying and failing to get up. Allison shoves him down and looks around for Abby.

The poor kid who hit Neil is being held against the plexiglass by a furious Andrew, Nicky and Aaron standing beside him and trying to talk him out of any blatant violence. Abby has fighting her way through the players with a mixture of anger and worry.

“Drew?” Neil says, eyes closed and head leaning against the wall. There’s another smack and a few seconds later Andrew shoves Allison out of the way to sit beside him. Abby shows up a few minutes later, but Allison stays where she is to use her body to give them a bit of a barrier.

“You idiot,” Andrew growls. “Next time, get up after you get hit.”

Neil gives him a feverish smile. “I’m sorry I worried you. I’m f-, I’m okay.” He just barely catches himself and Andrew shakes his head in irritation. Allison grins, a little relieved that he’s feeling good enough to catch his words.

“Neil, do you know how high your fever is right now? You could kill yourself, playing like this. What were you thinking?” Abby lectures while she smooths back his hair. “Why didn’t you tell him to stop, Andrew?”

Neil grabs Andrews hand awkwardly, still wearing his armoured gloves. Andrew snorts. “You think I’m his keeper? He does what he wants. Junkie.”

Neil laughs weakly at that and lets Abby and Andrew support his weight as they get him up. Once he’s able to stand on his own two feet, the crowd lets out a supportive roar and Allison turns around to see Neil and Andrew. Andrew gives him a small, relieved smile, something that Allison never thought that she would see. No one had seen Andrew smile a single time since he’s been off of his meds. This smile is completely different. It softens his jaw, and even though it’s so small that it’s barely noticeable, Neil beams when he catches it.

She hears Andrew mutter a number under his breathe and they slowly walk off the court.

Allison could settle a few bets from this, but a part of her knows that she saw a private moment. Renee walks over to take over the goal and gives her a pleased smile, almost like she knew how selfless Allison was being by not telling anyone about this.

She grins back and relaxes, knowing that Neil is in good hands.

Matt could cry, he was so happy to see his best friend after so many months apart. Dan squeezes his arm and lets him go give Neil a bear hug. All of them have graduated now, and Christmas is one of the only times that the original Foxes get to see each other, and even then it’s sometimes difficult to get everyone together.

This year everyone is gathered at Abby’s, and it feels just like old times. Aaron and Katelyn are already helping Abby and Wymack in the kitchen and Nicky is regaling everyone with stories from Germany, Erik adding details every once in a while but mostly just looking at his fiance with heart eyes.

Allison and Renee are coming later, and Kevin is watching an Exy match on TV. His mouth is open slightly as he watches the rematch like he’s never seen it before. Andrew sits beside him with a bored expression while he scrolls through his phone, but Matt notices him glance up at them a few times while he chats with Neil.

Neil had mentioned how difficult it’s been to be playing on different teams than Andrew, and Matt can see how happy he is now that everyone’s together. He thinks that Neil’s been getting lonely.

The kitchen is a hive of activity and they all talk over each other as they catch up on the past year. Dan and Matt show everyone their engagement rings, way too excited to wait to tell everyone like they had planned. Matt swears that Wymack tears up a bit when Dan asks him to walk her down the aisle, and Abby just about breaks his back with how tightly she hugs him.

Andrew even offers them a nod and agrees to fly out with Neil for the wedding, even though they aren’t sure when it will be yet.

There’s more exclaiming when Allison and Renee get there and Allison shouts at them for not waiting to announce it until they got there. They look tired but happy after travelling all day, and Renee gives him one of her pleased, proud smiles. At some point Betsy had gotten there as well, and Matt sees her having a long conversation with Andrew in the living room.

Matt can’t believe how far they’ve all come. After such ruined childhoods and terrible experiences in University, they all managed to build themselves lives. Build themselves a family.

Matt feels so incredibly fond of them all that it feels like his chest is going to split, like it can’t hold all of the affection for these people.

Dinner is as hectic and happy as the rest of the day was, and they sit at the dining table for hours talking. Kevin and Neil have an in-depth conversation about their teams and their performance so far this season, which Andrew mocks and then turns to talk with Renee.

Matt and Dan are talking over each other with the ease of people who are perfectly comfortable with each other as they tell Abby about their honeymoon plans, and Allison gives them tips. Or maybe they’re more like orders, but it’s all good ideas so they don’t mind.

It isn’t until after they’ve cleaned up the dishes and most of the Foxes have settled in the living room to rewatch some of their old matches that Matt gets the chance to talk with Neil on his own.

They skype as regularly as possible, and Neil calls him almost every week to get updates, but Matt has still missed him.

When he notices Neil sneak out to the porch, he follows behind.

“It’s hard to believe, but Kevin’s obsession hasn’t waned in the slightest,” Matt jokes as he plops down on the stairs beside Neil. The striker throws his head back to laugh and Matt revels in the warmth that comes with being able to make this once shy kid laugh his genuine, thrilled laugh.

“Andrew would say the same about me,” he says, eyes crinkling in amusement.

“He’s right. You’ve been playing well though, that goal in the last game where you hit it from half court was insane! I have the video saved to my phone so I can show people and tell them I know you,” Matt gushes, glad to finally be able to tell him how proud he is of him. Neil has a pleased blush on his cheeks.

“You still watch my games?”

“Of course I do! Dan and I’ve turned it into date night. We order pizza.”

Neils laughs again, more pleased than he would admit that Dan watches them too.

“How have you been Neil? For real?”

Neil fidgets with the bottom of his shirt. “It’s tough,” he finally admits. “Without Andrew. Our schedules are so different. There’s a chance that next year I might be able to switch though.”

Matt hums and bumps his shoulder against Neils. “I’m glad. I don’t want you to be lonely.”

Neil listens to Matt talk about Dan and what they’ve been up to for a while, and they sit in comfortable silence until Matt finally laughs. Neil gives him a questioning look.

“I have a ridiculous question for you that’s been plaguing me for years now.” Neil raises an eyebrow and waits for Matt to keep talking.

“So if you think that Andrews attractive, does that mean you think that about Aaron too?” Matts eyes are filled with mirth. He knows all too well the strained relationship that Neil and Aaron had through University, and also that they have just reached the point where they can talk about things other than Exy without killing each other.

Neil snorts, but then thinks through an answer much more seriously than Matt expected. “I’m not really attracted to people,” he says, then shakes his head and backtracks. “That’s not what I meant. Obviously I’m attracted to Andrew, and I think he’s beautiful, but it’s more because I know him so well and I trust him so much.”

Neil is blushing slightly at the admission and he looks to Matt to see if he understands what he means.

“It’s hard to explain. I never was attracted to anyone before Andrew. I can see objectively that some people are nice looking, but it doesn’t really affect me. But I really care about Andrew, and I can talk to him for hours and I know what foods he likes and he knows what I like. And the longer we know each other and the more I know him, the more beautiful he gets. Does that make sense?”

Neil frowns and waits for Matt. Matt can’t help the soft smile that curves his lips. “Neil Josten, you are the sweetest person on this goddamned team, you know that? Yeah, that makes sense.”

Matt hears the door close behind them and turns around to see Andrew standing there with his usual blank expression, but his red ears indicate that he heard what Neil said. Neil beams up at him and Matt gets up to leave. He turns around to look at the two before he goes inside and is shocked to see the softest smile gracing Andrews lips before his sits down beside Neil.

It’s no secret that most of the Foxes were worried about Neil choosing Andrew, of all people, to trust. But the longer they’re together, the more Matt realizes that Andrew is just as soft for Neil as Neil is for Andrew, he’s just better at hiding it.

Matt’s still grinning about that soft look hours later when him and Dan are getting ready to leave.

“You two are good for each other,” he says quietly to Neil before they leave, and Neil rewards him with a thrilled smile and a nod.

Playing professionally makes a lot of things very difficult to hide. Something about the sport has made it a fan favourite, and the interesting lives of the players mean that the general public is completely fascinated with hearing about their lives outside of the sport.

As much as Kevin hates how intrusive everyone can be because of this, he has to admit that it makes it much easier for him to keep his eye on the old Foxes. Articles about Neil and Andrew are ridiculously easy to find online, and Kevin has made a habit of checking on them regularly.

He’s doing just that when he finds an article about Andrew getting noticed after his flight to New York. The journalist muses about why on earth he would be going to New York, a place that holds none of his family, only his long time rival, Striker Neil Josten.

What makes his trip even more interesting is the fact that the same long term rival picked him up from the airport.

What made Kevin look at this article with such interest was the picture that was attached to it. It’s obviously been taken with a good camera, since the photo is crisp and clear. In the center stands Neil and Andrew, standing only an inch apart. The crowd behind them is blurred out, making the photo look like a scene from a rom-com. Neil is beaming at Andrew and tugging his bag from him, eyes sparkling. What caught Kevins attention is the small quirk in Andrews lips, something that would be too small to call a smile on anyone but Andrew.

Kevin still has a protective streak for the two boys and wants them to have as easy of a life as possible, but he can’t deny the fact that they seem happier than they ever have been.

Kevin can’t remember the last time that he saw Andrew have a real smile that wasn’t violent or caused by medication.

He re-reads the article, then looks back up at the picture. Is this journalist stupid? He thinks. The whole article is about how Andrew must have come for something else, how their thrilled expressions must have been because they were mid-roast. Kevin can’t believe the journalist didn’t immediately realize that they were dating. He sighs and moves on to the next article, this one about Jeremy, but his mind keeps going back to the content smile on Andrews face. They’re going to be outed if they don’t stop making each other look so happy, he thinks. But he also thinks that maybe that’s not as bad of a thing as he’s made it out to be.

A few minutes later he goes back to the article and sends the link to Nicky without any explanation. He thought that might make Nicky happy.

“I’m glad we still have the skype dates. I know Andrew and Neil are so busy right now,” Erik says, playing absentmindedly with Nicky’s hair as they wait for the boys to answer their skype call.

They’ve been having these weekly conversations with first Neil and Andrew, and later Aaron and Katelyn as well, for months. They had originally just called each other, but Nicky missed seeing his cousins more than he could say. He loves Germany, and he loves every single moment with Erik, but it’s still tough to have such a long distance relationship with his family. Especially after everything they’ve all gone through together.

It was harder to keep in contact with the other Foxes, but they all did their best to meet up for Christmas (everyone even came to Germany a few years ago. Nicky cried with joy, even though Andrew insisted it was just because everyone wanted to see Europe), plus he often got texts from Matt and Renee. And every once in a while he gets an Exy article from Kevin.

Nicky hummed in agreement and watched the screen with anticipation. They had missed last weeks skype call because Neil and Andrew were finally moving in together after signing for the same team in the fall. Nicky has been vibrating with excitement to see the apartment, and Erik has been waiting to ask for tips about taking care of a cat from Neil.

When the screen finally pops up, it’s obvious that Neil and Andrew haven’t noticed it yet. Neil is laughing about something, one of his rare laughs that is unforced and filled with true joy. And Andrew, Nicky’s beloved, terrifying cousin is beaming. It’s the biggest smile he’s seen on his cousins face for years, and it’s the first time he’s ever seen him smile with such true happiness. Nicky could cry, and when he turns to look at Erik, he can see that his eyes are shining as well.

Erik clears his throat and Andrew schools his expression as he turns to the screen. Neil is still looking at Andrew with pure love, but he waves to the screen.

A flash of silver derails Nicky’s thoughts even further.

“Neil. Neil, what is on your hand?” He asks, delight evident in his voice. Neil smirks and holds up the other hand, which has nothing on it. Andrews lips quirk.

“No, your other hand. Is that a ring?!” Nicky is almost bouncing, waiting for Neil to stop teasing him and show him the simple silver band that sits, unassuming, on his finger.

Neil shows him his other hand without hesitating, and Nicky realizes that they’ve already talked about telling him. It makes his heart grow bigger than it already is.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, are you guys engaged? When did that happen?” Nicky practically shrieks while Erik gives them a heartfelt congratulations.

Andrew’s expression is as bored as ever, but Nicky doesn’t miss the fact that they’re holding hands under the laptop.

“A few days ago,” Andrew says nonchalantly. The tips of his ears are pink though, and Neil can’t hold in the grin.

“Hows Germany?” Neil asks politely, and Erik laughs.

“There’s no way Nicky will let you change the subject that quickly,” Erik says, and Nicky nods effusively.

“How did this happen? I need the entire story Andrew! Or Neil, whoever will actually give me the details. Who asked who? Did you cry?”

Neil laughs again. “We asked each other. We had a long conversation about it.”

Nicky wishes that he could tease them for that and call them boring, but he knows what a huge deal this is for his cousin. He’s thrilled that Neil understands that as well.

“You guys are so good for each other,” Nicky says, sniffling a bit. Andrew rolls his eyes.

“I’m hanging up now,” he says.

“No! I need to hear what you’re doing for your wedding! Maybe I can help you plan it. And Allison can too! It’s gonna be so amazing.”

Neil laughs as Andrew reaches his hand out in slow motion to close the computer. Neil’s voice reaches them as the camera goes down.

“We’re going to have a party, we’ll figure out a time you guys can come out, okay?”

Erik confirms that because Nicky is too emotional over the fact that they’re planning the time around him.

He leans his head against Erik’s shoulder and Erik smiles.

“I guess we’ll have to wait until next week for an apartment tour,” he says, and Nicky can hear the smile in his words.

“I never thought that he would be happy. Isn’t that sad? I wasn’t even sure if Andrew would be talking to me for this long. Then this scrappy puppy comes along and puts us all in danger and makes us all love him, and here we are. No one ever would have guessed this in a million years.” Nicky says thoughtfully.

That night, Nicky falls asleep with the picture of a truly happy Andrew in his mind.

As much as he tries to convince his old Foxes that he’s a grouchy old man who doesn’t care, Wymack spends a lot of time checking up on his kids.

He’s been to as many of Kevin’s games as he can possible fit in whenever they’re close enough and he doesn’t have a game on, he video calls Nicky as often as he can (keeping weird hours makes this easier, and Nicky and Abby both lecture him regularly about getting enough sleep), and Dan and Matt live close enough that they have dinner together regularly. Renee and Allison move around too often to make it easy to see them, but everyone ends up together at least once a year. They avoid doing it on Thanksgiving (Andrew and Neil prefer to keep that one quiet, and no one argues with that). Aaron and Katelyn have even come out to see them a few times when their schedules weren’t as hectic with the hospital.

The hardest ones to get to see are Andrew and Neil. They spent a few years doing long distance with both playing on different teams, so every time they had time off they spent it together. Wymack wishes that he could have lived closer to Neil, he knows that those years were particularly difficult on him.

Now that they are living together and on the same team, it’s been easier for them to get in contact with everyone, but they’re still moving around too often for it to be easy to visit.

Last year they detoured to stay with Abby and Wymack for a few days during their annual summer road trip, and having Bee there meant that Andrew has come out a few extra times to stay when Neil was busy with press.

Wymack tries very hard to convince them that he couldn’t care less about how often they come out to visit him, but they all know that he misses them terribly.

To keep a closer eye on them, Wymack and Abby recorded all of their games, and Wymack secretly watches youtube videos with names like ‘Neil Josten’s Best 10 Roasts’ and ‘10 Minutes of the Josten Minyard Rivalry’. He does not miss dealing with the press after Neil’s been let loose, but he feels a bit of pride every time he rips into a deserving journalist after being asked about his scars. If Wymack could kick everyone’s ass who hurt his kids, he would. Since he can’t, watching them get demolished by a tiny redhead has to do.

For the first time in a few weeks, Abby and Wymack are finally watching a game live. It’s always a lot more stressful watching them live, but they make up for that by ordering Chinese and making an evening of it.

They barely talk through the game other than to insult the other team or praise a good save or goal. The second half as just started when an aggressive striker doesn’t stop at the goal lines. The entire court goes silent and Wymack watches with barely controlled terror as Neil sprints across the court just in time for Andrew to hit the wall. Neil shoves the striker away with more venom than Wymack has seen from him since Riko and turns his attention to the goalie currently lying on the ground.

“Come on Andrew, get up,” Wymack whispers as he watches Neil fling his helmet off and protect his prone form while the medical staff make their way over. The sports announcers are frantic as they explain what just happened and Abby groans in irritation as they show a slow motion recap of Andrew getting hit, then of Neil protecting him.

Wymack clutches his phone and enters the number of their coach before he’s even thought it through. He knows it isn’t likely that he’ll answer, but he’s disappointed when it goes to voicemail anyway. Beside him Abby is calling Neil.

It takes almost 30 long minutes before Abby gets through to Neil, and she immediately puts it on speaker phone so that they can both speak to him.

“Neil, is everything okay?” Abby says, concern leaking through her words.

“I’m… I’m not sure yet. I’m at the hospital? And I’m waiting for the doctor,” Neil sounds shocked, voice dull.

“Which hospital are you at? We’re flying there as soon as we can,” Wymack says, and Abby nods, grabbing his phone to book tickets.

“Umm, I’m not sure. One minute,” they can hear mumbling while Neil asks someone where they are and Wymacks heart aches for the poor kid.

“Okay, we’re just at the New York Hospital.”

“I booked our tickets, we’re leaving in an hour okay?” Abby says as soothingly as she can. “We’ll call you when we get there.” Wymack says in lieu of a goodbye.

By the time they make it to New York they each have a few messages from Neil saying that Andrew’s going to be fine, he has a concussion and they’re keeping him for observation, but he’s okay. The relief is palpable after the tension through the flight, and Wymack is glad that Neil thought to tell them.

It’s early in the morning when they get there, so they sleep at a hotel for a few hours while waiting for visiting hours.

It’s far more complicated to get into the room than Wymack thought that it would be. They have to convince the staff that they aren’t journalists or well meaning fans before they’re brought up to the room, and Abby has to show them family photos from Christmas with Neil and Andrew before the nurses decide that they are allowed to see Andrew.

Wymack’s glad for the security but he curses at all the journalists for making it so difficult. They crowd them when they realize who they are visiting, and it takes a security guard and a lot of glaring to part the crowd so they can follow the nurse.

“Can you confirm the Josten Minyard relationship?” One journalist shouts as they walk past.

“Coach Wymack! Coach Wymack, is it true that Minyard’s injury is far worse than they are letting on? And what do you think that means for the team?” another journalist shouts, microphone shoved unceremoniously in his face. Abby pulls him behind her and gives him a warning look not to say anything.

The hallway where Andrews room is located is blissfully calm after the storm downstairs. The nurse indicates which room he’s in, then moves on.

Abby pauses in the doorway and motions for Wymack to step beside her, a look of contentment on her face.

In the room Neil is perched on the bed beside Andrew. He’s a bit pale but there are no visible cuts or bruises and he looks mostly alert. They’re hands are twined together, the silver engagement bands catching the light.

Neil is saying something in a low tone and Andrew squeezes his hand. His mouth tilts up at the corners and looks at Neil with something close to adoration. Wymack tugs Abby away from the door and takes a few steps back to give them their privacy. He texts Neil to tell him that they’ve made it in, and a few minutes later Neil peeks out the door to great them.

He looks exhausted, hair mussed and dark circles under his eyes, but his face brightens when he sees them.

Abby gives him a tight hug before going to sit in the chair beside Andrew who has his usual bored expression. Wymack stops beside Neil and squeezes his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, kid,” he says, feeling a little choked up. Neil looks up in surprise.

“For what? I didn’t do anything.”

Wymack grins and pats his shoulder before going in to greet Andrew.

“Next time, get back up after you get hit,” he says gruffly to the tiny blond. Andrew raises a brow.

“Did I worry you, old man? You’re getting soft with age.”

Wymack grunts and sits down in the other chair near the foot of the bed. “Not worried, just annoyed. Kevin’s called me 3 times since I got up this morning to make sure you can still play.”

“He’ll be back in a few weeks,” Neil says while he takes back his post at Andrews side. Andrew rolls his eyes and mutters ‘junkie’ under his breath.

Wymack wishes he could be irritated at the long night and unnecessary panic, but he feels so content being in the same place as his kids that his gruffness is softened.

Neil surveys the apartment from his spot in the kitchen. They’re 1 bedroom apartment is not nearly big enough to comfortably fit everyone in, but no one is complaining about the small space. Even Andrew isn’t feeling claustrophobic yet (Neil keeps checking on him, but he seems happy chatting with Aaron and Kevin on the sofa). True to promise, they did throw a wedding party at their apartment, and they made sure that it was at a time that Nicky and Erik could come out to see them.

However, it took multiple arguments to convince Allison and Nicky that they didn’t need anyone to plan it and that they were just going to get married at the courthouse. Neil’s pretty sure that it was more Renee and Erik than his arguments who made them let it go. No matter what, Neil couldn’t be happier with how everything has turned out.

King winds himself around his ankles, meowing indignantly about the noise in the place and Neil smiles fondly at her.

Matt and Dan are swaying to the music near the balcony door, lost in their own little world. Beside them sway Renee and Allison, and Renee catches Neils eye to smile proudly at him. After Nicky, her and Allison were the next ones they told about the engagement. Andrew had mentioned that it was Renee who convinced him that marriage wasn’t always a bad idea, and Neil couldn’t help but feel a bit grateful for that.

Beside him stood Abby, Wymack, and Bee. Bee has been around long enough that Neil is able to accept her, and he’s glad that Andrew was able to find someone that he trusted so much. Neil has also been going to a therapist, but something about knowing Bee while he was going through everything made it too uncomfortable for him to talk to her. He found someone in New York instead, and Bee seemed so thrilled that he’s managed to open up to someone other than Andrew that Neil almost liked her a little bit. It’s tough to find someone who is genuinely happy about your healing.

Katelyn is laughing with Thea about something, and Erik and Nicky are in the corner cooing over Sir, who is soaking up the attention.

Neil can’t help but think about all of the trials and tribulations it took to get to this point - the time in the Ravens Nest, the terror of Baltimore, all of the panic attacks and rough nights and foggy days. Neil never thought that he would live through his first year of University so every year after that has felt both like a gift and borrowed time. It took until the past year for Neil to wrap his head around the idea that he might be able to live until old age.

That thought was both a relief and terrifying, just because he wants it so badly. Andrew has helped him pull through multiple panic attacks just thinking about it.

Neil knows that there will be other challenges ahead of them (even though they really deserve a happy 20 years to make up for the bad ones), but he thinks that they’ll be much easier than the crap that’s gone on before this.

He catches Andrews eye across the room. They’re both wearing the suits they got for the occasion and Neils eyes have been tracking Andrew all night. He’s noticed that Andrews have done the same thing for him.

Aaron realizes that Andrews attention has strayed and he turns his conversation to Kevin. Neil and Aaron’s relationship isn’t exactly great, but they’ve managed to get to the point where they can go for coffee without hating each other by the time they get home. Neil knows that Andrew appreciates the effort both of them make, even though he’s never said anything about it.

Neil watches as Andrew gets up and makes his way through their friends, no, their family to get to him.

He watches the crowd impassively beside Neil while Neil watches the small twitch at his lips and the fond look in his eyes.

“Staring.”

Neil grins. “I guess you’ll have to do something about that, won’t you?”

Andrew’s jaw tightens where he tries not to smile. Neil feels the glow of accomplishment. My husband thinks I’m funny. He tries to keep his expression calm, but he can see from Andrews pink ears that he’s watching him with as much love as he feels.

Abruptly Andrew holds out a hand. “Yes or no.”

Neil isn’t quite sure what he’s asking, but he puts his hand in Andrews without hesitation. “Of course.”

Andrew leads him over to a quiet spot near the hallway and places Neils hands on his shoulder. He grabs his waist and starts to sway to the music.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what? Like I love you? Because I do,” Andrews ears go red and Neil smirks, feeling very proud of himself for making Andrew blush.

“You’re a pest,” Andrew says.

“Yeah, but I’m your pest.”

And Andrew laughs. Neil almost trips in surprise. He can feel the eyes of the rest of the party on them, but he can’t tear his eyes off of Andrews smile.

“Yes or no,” Neil says.

Andrew’s still smiling. “Yes, Junkie.”

Neil kisses Andrews forehead, not wanting to get rid of that beautiful, perfect smile. There’s a flash and Neil turns around to see Nicky holding a camera.

“This is going on the wall! I’m framing it,” he announces, and Andrews glare holds barely any heat.

A few weeks later, when the package from Germany comes, Neil can see how pleased Andrew is with the photo. It sits in a simple silver frame, and they hang it above the sofa.

Neil feels very much like he lives a charmed life.

2K notes · View notes

the-minyard-twins · 4 years

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Andreil Fic Rec

I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec so here we are! I’ve read a lot of Andreil recently and these are my top 28 favorite Andreil and AFTG fics

1. Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle

85k | Explicit

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

2. Learning To Feel (When You’ve Forgotten How) by thegirlwiththeprettybrowneyes

43k | Teen | No Proust AU

On the night before his first day of therapy at Easthaven, Andrew blows out his legs and decides he isn’t going to bury his feelings anymore, consequences be damned. In return, he gets a schedule change, and a very strange new therapist. /////// “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you,” Andrew finished, looking anywhere but at Neil’s face. Neil looked like he had just realized the sky was blue. “You like me,” Andrew sighed. “Yeah,” he said, resigned “Yeah, Neil, I like you,” /////// No Proust AU

3. Broken by Jeni182

34k | Explicit

Andrew attempts suicide and he and Neil try to navigate his recovery and healing together.

4. Waves by Jeni182 (sequel to Broken)

94k | Explicit

Broken Part II - Neil and Andrew try to navigate life post Andrew’s suicide attempt now that he’s in Denver and Neil’s in his last year at PSU.

5. Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper

29k | Teen | text!fic

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke

naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in

dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip

naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul

davidwymack: sometimes I regret living

davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

6. Something in Return by reaching _my_summit

31k | Mature

“Andrew Minyard, how will you celebrate winning your final college Exy championship?”

“I’m going to Disney World,” Andrew deadpans.

- - -

Andrew’s final year at Palmetto State comes to a close. His future is upon him and there are plans to be made. Years ago, Neil asked Andrew to stop smoking in exchange for something. Andrew finally knows what he wants in return.

7. The Unloved Kids by AlrightDarlin

35k | Not Rated

“I intend to treat them the same. I need strong athletes, not toddlers,” Wymack starts, but sits back with a sigh, running a hand over his face. “But hypothetically, if I had to look after a bunch of toddlers on the weekends…”

Betsy’s eyes crinkle with her smile. “Are you asking advice?”

“They’re screwed up enough,” Wymack says, “I’m not trying to make it worse.”

(David Wymack takes his little nightmares and does his best to corral them and love them within an inch of their lives. He can’t change what happened to them, but he can be there for them now.)

8. Turn it Off by elawless

10k | Mature

“It hurts…so much…too…much” He choked out between breaths. “I want to let go so…bad. I am so close”. He lifted his head to look at Andrew and saw no blue in his eyes and believed Andrew was real, but the rest of the pain was. It was just enough for him to trust Andrew with what he would say next.

“Stay. Give me Neil back. Don’t leave.” Andrew could no longer cover all of his desperation, his voice seemed to crack on the last word.

“Just let me turn it off. Just for today. Neil will come back. Bring him back, for the both of you.”

9. VW Actually Means “Very Weird” by exyjunkies

15k | Gen

If it was just going to be the two of us, then why bring the Volkswagen?

So that if I end up murdering you on this road trip, I’ll have enough space for clean-up.

Neil and Andrew take on the Pacific Coast Highway over the span of two and a half weeks, with a surprise for one of them at the very end.

10. Puzzle Pieces by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto

59k | Explicit | Series

Neil’s life is a puzzle, the people in it are the pieces that give everything meaning. Together they make a picture of happiness.

11. diet mountain dew by reaching_my_summit

2k | Teen

neil thinks andrew is very pretty. he tells andrew exactly that.

12. For Science by ClockworkDragon, DeyaAmaya

8k | Explicit

“Here’s what I propose: we’ll play a game, and I’ll even let you pick which one, but we’re going to set some stakes. I’m not going to let you talk big and walk away free of punishment if you lose.” Without hesitating, Kevin asked, “Fine, I choose Trivial Pursuit. What are the stakes?” Allison put a finger to her lips and tilted her head, as if she was actually thinking of a response and didn’t plan this whole thing days ago. “Hmm, did you know the spirit store recently added fox themed thigh-high socks to their stock? They’ve become quite popular amongst cheerleaders.” This statement seemed to throw Kevin off because he just stared blankly at Allison until she continued. Andrew was not, however, an idiot. He could see where this was going. “How about whoever loses has to wear the socks for an entire school day; including morning and evening practices?” “Holy shit,” Nicky whispered. “You are one devious bitch.” Allison winked.

13. ain’t no rest for the wicked by dearhappy

8k | Teen | Lucifer!AU

“You really expect me to believe that?“ Neil asks, "Especially when his girlfriend said that he’d always been worried about what you’d ask for in return, and that he called you the Devil.”

“I don’t lie,” Andrew says simply. “You can think whatever you want.”

“Why was he so worried if that was all it was?”

“He made a deal with the Devil,” Andrew says, “Tell me you wouldn’t be worried about that.”

14. Not Damsels, not Knights by my_unlikely_hero

93k | Mature

Neil is not a damsel, Andrew is not a knight, Riko is not a dragon. Nobody gets saved. Not really.

Or: Riko goes too far, and Neil is left in pieces.

15. The Continuing Adventures of the Nine-Nine by gluupor

48k | Gen | Series | Brooklyn 99!AU

A series of short, ridiculous, mostly plotless stories featuring the Foxes as the cops of the Ninety-Ninth Precinct.

16. Not Only You and Me by orphan_account (part of a series)

18k | Explicit | Porn!AU

Andrew, Neil and Kevin film Foxy’s first gay threesome porn scene.

Cue the feelings.

17. High School Science by fuzzballsheltipants

30k | Teen/Explicit (parts 1-3 are Teen and part 4 is Explicit) | Series

High School!AU

18. False Equivalence by sunrise_and_death

22k | Teen

Some part of her had known it would come back to Neil. He was the one who had cracked the twins the first time. Of anyone, he was the most likely to have a solution for this as well.

Although the events of the previous year resolved a lot of issues, Katelyn quickly discovers that not every problem has been addressed. As she attempts to map a future in which Aaron has both her and his family, she finds herself once again working with Neil Josten—to unexpected results.

19. trans andrew by aceaaronminyard, autisitcandrewminyard

30k | Explicit | trans!Andrew

a fanfic series for a tfc au where andrew minyard wasn’t registered into the system as andrew doe but as erin doe.

mostly set post-tkm. mostly porn.

20. Advice and Amusement by Autumnalhogwarts

11k | Teen

After a series of failed attempts to woo Renee, Allison turns to Andrew for help. As Renee’s best guy friend he’s in a unique position to offer advice. However, that doesn’t mean he’ll be willing to.

21. Kidnapped by Shell_Writes

21k | Explicit

Neil and Aaron get kidnapped by four deranged men while the team is on a camping trip. shit happens and they have to escape this horror house. together.

22. Return of Dad!Mack by SensationalSunburst

14k | Gen | Series

Dad!Wymack & Mom!Abby

23. For He’s A Jolly Good Felon by gluupor

4k | Teen | Felon!Neil

What’s a guy to do when he’s forced to go to his conservative, homophobic aunt and uncle’s for Thanksgiving dinner?

Why, invite along his ex-con, tattooed, argumentative roommate as his fake boyfriend, of course.

24. make my heart shake (bend and break) by WaifsandStrays

4k | Explicit

Aaron develops a fascination with Kevin’s dick, has a sexuality crisis and feelings and fails to process any of it.

25. Across the Water by transandrewminyard

13k | Teen | trans!Andreil

Perhaps several years too late, or maybe right on time, Neil Josten runs away from home and tries to dream a new life for himself. How poetic that his first night out on his own would deliver him to a stranger who seems to understand everything he’s been through, and then some?

26. Prompt: Andrew and Neil get to babysit Sophie by orphan_account

14k | Mature | part of a series

What it says on the tin, basically.

Aaron and Matt leave for a few days and ask Andrew and Neil to babysit Sophie. Baby-sized exy is involved. Also lots and lots of angst. But there is a happy ending!

27. Salt Bros and Roller Derby Vixens by moonix

14k | Teen | Series

Roller Derby!AU

28. Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by priorwalter

12k | Teen | Felon!Neil, Author!Andrew

“So,” Neil asks as he washes his paint-covered hands in the kitchen sink, “Christmas.”

Andrew glares and says nothing. This year, Neil and Andrew are spending Christmas with Andrew’s brother, Aaron Minyard. Aaron Minyard, Andrew’s twin whose existence was unknown to him until two months previous. Aaron Minyard, an orthopedic surgeon with a wife (an oncologist, naturally) and two daughters. Aaron Minyard, who grew up with a mother that chose him.

Andrew Doe has survived until age twenty-nine without any biological family, and his life turned out pretty good, considering all of the reasons it shouldn’t have. At age twenty-nine, Andrew’s book becomes a bestseller and leads his long-lost twin brother to him. Familial drama ensues.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #andreil #aftg fic rec #fic rec

29 notes · View notes

allforthecourtt · 5 years

Text

rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!

chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)

“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”

neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?

“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”

have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell

also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin

“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”

how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:

“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”

HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL

“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”

“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”

awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early

“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.

andrew: i kno u can

“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”

anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you

“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.

gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much

“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”

have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee

“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”

im also gay for allison ngl

“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said. "No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”

lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”

“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”

no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg

that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room

god i love uni

“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”

pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg

also hahahahahah foreshadowing!

“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?" It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”

again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books

“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”

it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways

this kid is 18 hes A BABY

the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil

“One of us has to make it, Mom." It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”

sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck

“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”

neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)

“Fuck running," Seth said.

now that’s a whole ass mood

“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”

haha bitch just wait

“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”

remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling

this is such a fucking wild chapter

could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him

first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst

chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)

“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”

that’s just how the straights are

“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”

i’ll just leave this gem of a line here

“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”

neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable

“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”

i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing

“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”

i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov

“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”

^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)

“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”

this... is a... gay bar

“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”

i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao

“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?" "What future?" Neil asked.”

WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH

“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”

why are the twins literally this gif:

real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character

andrew for this entire chapter:

chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)

“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”

this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl

“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”

Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?

foxes: daddy?

wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE

follow up:

kevin: daddy?

wymack: uh yeah

“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”

Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him

“Then correct me." "Give me a reason." "Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”

andrew:

“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”

“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”

“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”

this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh

chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)

“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”

what a fuckin MOOD

“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”

“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”

sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development

“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought." "Maybe I am," Neil said”

another big fucking MOOD

chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )

“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”

why is andrew like this omg

betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS

“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy." "Did you bet against him?" "Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”

“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”

god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him

“I can take care of myself," Neil said. "Watch me beam with pride.”

wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise

“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”

neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit

“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”

that’s such a cliche and i love it

“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”

lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers

what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have

like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked

“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”

1. MOOD

2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”

upper year history sucks ngl

“I'm fine," Neil said.”

neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it

“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”

overall thoughts:

the plot is pickinnnng upppp

i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good

also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait

anyways that’s all for now

part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know

love u all bye

#rereading aftg

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sunnyupsidedown · 5 years

Text

barely breathing 3 / 4

[part1] [part2] [AO3]

A/N: Goodbye open ending, hello happy ending. Well, not yet.

Renee was humming softly under her breath as she hung up the last of her clothes when a knock came at their dorm door.

“I’ll get it,” Dan said from the living room. The old, beat up recliner creaked as Dan stood, her footsteps soft on the carpet.

“What are you doing here Andrew.”

Renee paused at Dan’s tone.

“Renee.” Andrew’s voice drifted into her room.

At the obvious summoning, Renee set her last shirt on the bed to put up later. Out by the door, Dan held the door open but blocked Andrew’s path in. Renee examined Andrew closer. She saw him at the court earlier but now was a little different. His expression was neutral, like the times before he stepped onto court for a game when he was off his medicine. But it was worse now. So much worse. Before, mania creeped into the edges of his expression, a ghostly imprint of the drugs still in his system. Now, it was like a blank slate, a face slack in sleep or in death but with the eyes still open to the world.

Their eyes met and it was like looking into a void. Andrew gave the barest of nods before leaving. Renee understood and went to change into some looser clothes.

They met up at the usual place in the Fox Tower’s basement. The air chilly compared to the higher floors. Andrew slid into a starting stance the moment Renee walked in and she followed suit.

They stared each other down, slowly circling around the room. Andrew moved first, a little unusual in their spars. Renee reacted quickly and Andrew was on the ground from an easily dodged maneuver.

“You’re distracted,” Renee said to Andrew’s supine form.

Andrew didn’t say anything and got up to start again. It was a repeat of the first time; Andrew was back on the ground.

Renee had enough. Andrew got into a starting position but Renee sat down cross legged and stared up at Andrew pressuring him to do the same. He submitted and sat.

“What’s wrong?”

Andrew was silent for a long time before he spoke. “I seem to have some gaps in my memory. Is he one of mine or one of yours?”

Renee’s eyes drew to his neck, to the bandages peeking out from the edges of his collar and suddenly she knew what had happened while Andrew was at Easthaven. And she knew who Andrew was referring to as well. Her own faded scars ached for a short second. It was harder to breath like her throat was clogged despite the emptiness she knew was there.

“What do you want to know?”

“Neil Josten.”

Kevin grabbed two shots from Neil’s tray and downed them in quick succession. His eyes were already glazed from the first round of drinks and the packet of dust he inhaled earlier, but Neil still played it safe and spoke German anyway. “Why does Roland think you’re tying me down?”

There it was again in Andrew’s eyes, a deep emptiness like part of his soul was missing. “He probably thinks you’re as bad at following directions as he is.” Neil frowned. That wasn’t quite what he was looking for. He tried again. “What’s outside of coach’s pay grade?”

“It’s irrelevant since I don’t exactly know who you are.” Andrew closed his mouth and Neil knew he would get no more answers out of him for the night.

Neil frowned while he turned Andrew’s words around in his mind. He was careful. Andrew couldn’t know everything about him except the things he’s told him and Kevin wouldn’t say anything.

And then it hit him and his stomach clenched like his drink was spiked again.

Neil was smart. He wouldn’t have survived as long as he did if he didn’t have some deductive reasoning skills. He ran through every interaction he’s had with Andrew since he came back from Easthaven. The clues were everywhere: the way he ignored Neil at first, the coldness that everyone said was normal when Neil knew Andrew was far from heartless, the bandages that were around his neck and the scars that lie under them. He didn’t know how he could be so blind especially since he suffered from the same disease. Neil was going to puke but this time not from the flowers.

And that’s when the second realization came.

Andrew was in love with him.

But not anymore.

The world tilted on its axis, nausea sat rooted in the pit of his stomach, and pain blossomed in his chest. He never expected anything to happen between him and Andrew, but the cold truth still stung. Neil planned on running at the end of the season, but there was no use to it now. If his father doesn’t get to him first, the flowers will take care of him. Either way, he was doomed to an early death.

The days passed slowly and Neil found himself seeking Andrew out. It would never be anything. Every moment spent with him, another spike of pain lodged itself in his chest, but being with Andrew, was like being on an exy court. With every meaningless conversation they had up on the rooftop and the secrets exchanged in their game of truths, Neil felt like himself. Not Chris or Alex or any of the personas he’s created while on the run. He felt alive. When he was gone and he was just a footnote in the Foxes’ yearbook, he knew that there at least one person who cared about him, that he left some type of mark on the world, that someone would remember the insignificant man named Neil Josten.

His birthday came and blood dripped from his locker, a number counted down on his cell phone. The game was a blur. He vaguely knew they won but it was like watching everything through binoculars from the top of the Fox Tower.

Everything snapped into focus the next day when Andrew gripped the sides of Neil’s face and leaned in. Their lips crashed together and Neil’s heart stuttered to a stop. It was brief, lasting seconds before Andrew backed away with a storm in his eyes.

“Andrew--” Neil began, desperately trying to catch up in their conversation. “No,” Andrew frowned. His eyebrows creased together. “This is nothing.”

“Didn’t you say you wanted nothing?”

Andrew’s gait faltered briefly before he kept walking.

Something warm stirred in Neil’s chest. Andrew was not someone who would do something he didn’t mean. Neil didn’t want to say it was hope, but even he was foolish sometimes. The warmth grew until it burned through Neil’s veins. He could feel it coming and whatever hope bloomed in his chest was choked by the poisonous vines growing, thriving, constricting his lungs. He leaned over the side of the roof. Wind pushed his hair out of his face. It was a long way down.

He puked.

He wiped his mouth, his throat raw, his hand stained red like the blood that poured from his locker.

It was nothing, like Andrew said.

He was fine.

“How are you today Andrew?” Betsy asked. Andrew’s face remained mostly blank, but his eyebrows scrunched together. A frown, Betsy has learned. The mug in front of him has long cooled off.

“It hurts Bee.”

“What does Andrew?” Betsy asked, straightening in her chair.

“It hurts Bee but there is no longer anything there.” Whether he knew it or not, Andrew’s hand moved to grip his shirt over his chest.

“Ah. I was afraid that was the case.” She tried to keep her voice neutral with the sudden anger rushing through her veins. Easthaven has some explaining to do and if it didn’t end in a malpractice lawsuit she would damn well make sure the doctors responsible were punished. “Since you came back, I noticed the injuries around your neck. I had a guess but I hoped it wasn’t true. I did some research anyway. Would you like to hear what I found?”

Andrew didn’t say anything. Betsy continued.

“Hanahaki disease is unique in how it’s a virus that attacks the emotions, specifically feelings of love. Left unchecked it will kill you. Most cases end that way, but since the discovery of the removal procedure, the fatality rate has dropped significantly.”

Betsy paused to checked Andrew’s reaction. He was still slumped on the couch but his eyes were alert with interest.

“When it’s removed, you have to remove all of it and what it feeds on. Any shred left will leave room for relapse. The surgery is sometimes lifesaving but it’s also a double edged sword due to the memory loss.

“Andrew. You’re a smart man. Just because the flowers are gone, it doesn’t mean you lose the ability to feel. There’s nothing holding you back from what you want. I want you to think about that for our next session.”

Neil Josten. Neil Abram Josten. The name tasted like dust on Andrew’s lips. The aching hole in his chest consumed him whole.

“Andrew.” Neil’s voice was soft. Andrew looked up at Neil leaning over his bus seat and he continued, “Let me ask you this. Do you believe in fate?”

The question sounded familiar and Andrew didn’t have to think about his answer. “If fate were tangible, I would destroy it.”

Neil smiled like he knew something Andrew didn’t. The sun streamed through the window, making Neil’s hair glow like fire and his eyes burn like dry ice. “Then, Andrew, you have to let me go.”

Andrew swallowed. He felt like he was backed into a corner with no way to escape except through the path Neil provided. He didn’t like it. It was unsettling how much he trusted Neil, how he was going to break his promise because it was Neil who asked. It left a sour taste in his mouth, but Andrew never really knew what sweet was supposed to taste like.

The little black ‘4’ was a blemish on Neil’s face. Death, in so many languages. Bad luck. His heart hammered in his chest.

“Okay.” Two sides of Andrew’s mind were at war and a bomb just went off. It was a punch to the gut that felt worse than waking up in Easthaven with a spotty recollection of the fall semester. In the settling dust, only one thing remained. “Okay,” he said again because he was getting into the habit of saying useless things.

“Thank you.” Neil smiled wider and the look burned itself into Andrew’s memory. A weight should have been lifted from a promise he no longer need to keep but it was like gravity tripled since the word ‘okay’ left his mouth.

Neil trailed behind and when Andrew stopped to look at him the words slipped from his throat. “Thank you.” For the keys, the promises, the flowers both gone and sprouting within his chest. For letting him go. In his life he never knew he would have the chance to feel like he does towards Andrew. He never knew someone would feel that way towards him. If their timelines lined up a little different, if Neil fell a little faster, if Andrew refused to go to Easthaven, Neil wondered what could have been. Could they have avoided the tragedy of missed opportunities? Could they have shared more than that one short kiss? The sobering zero and Romero and Jackson reminded him that whatever way it went it would end with him in a body bag so maybe it was best if the thing between them remained in the starting gates. Neil was a dead man walking and Andrew didn’t deserve a love built on a ticking time bomb. He deserved to have some sort of happiness in his life and he knew that he only brought misfortune. “You were amazing.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed in thought. He opened his mouth to say something but they were pulled outside and the final act of the tragedy of Nathaniel Abram Wesninski began.

[this is where part 4 goes when it’s done] [AO3]

#andreil #aftg fanfic #aftc #tfc #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil flower project #hanahaki #write junk #well time for bed #why do i do this to myself

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okneiljos · 6 years

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aftg headcanons

sorry if this is a mess but i have a lot of feeling/thoughts about this

• matt has donned “true friend” by hannah montana his and neil’s song okay

• neil is a runner and goes on runs a lot when he needs to clear his head and stuff so like what if the foxes started running with him

— kevin goes with him first (nicky was chilling in the dorm eating some ungodly snack and kevin was glaring at him and had this disgusted look so nicky laughed and with a surprise attack got kevin to swallow two whole bites)

• so kev is like no i need to work off these calories immediately and he sees neil getting ready for a run and just joins him

— he and kevin only talk about exy, it’ll take a while for them to actually be able to talk about anything else, but it does happen

• matt is second cause he sees them jogging out the window and is like “well shit i didn’t know neil was open to company on his runs (cause sometimes he’s not) and decides he’ll join him next time

— matt is neil’s best bro so they talk about whatever and neil is like since when has this happened but he’s fine with it and is actually glad for the company

• a few weeks later it’s dan, then nicky who won’t shut up and keeps blabbing his head off but by this point neil finds it endearing, then allison who tells neil how pretty he is and how she could make him look and i quote “bitchin’” if he let her do his make-up, he politely declines. renee asks him if she can join and neil was going to say no since she unnerves him but he’s trying hard to get over that and says yes and they don’t speak other than her occasional humming

• whenever “circle of life” from lion king and matt is anywhere neil he will pick him up and sing along and all the foxes have so many videos of this along with zoomed in pics of neil’s face while it’s happening and they all think it’s the funniest thing ever (they mostly put on the song just to see it)

• they all have so many videos and pictures of neil and kevin’s reactions to things. kevin mostly to their unhealthy food choices (so they purposely order the thing on the menu most likely to give them a heart-attack) and neil to like anything.

— they have compilations of neil going off on press and then panning over to kevin who is standing with his hand over his face sighing and muttering things like “why does wymack even let him do this he knows by this point” and “i’m going to murder him at night practice” and “why do i even try like honestly god why are you so against me”

— they all try to get neil to say his iconic “i’m fine” so they can record it and pan over to any one of the foxes faces like their on the office. they have to have hundreds of these videos by this point honestly. dan puts them all together and it’s more than an hour long, at one of the sleepovers they watch it all and neil is cursing them while they laugh and andrew is muttering “idiot, do you know the definition of that word?”

• all of them have a lot of sleepovers. they’ll watch movies (they take turns picking) and eat snacks and junk food that kevin complains about and they sometimes play games and they fall asleep on each other and its just really wonderful

• so when the upperclassmen graduate neil is proud but also feels a little lonely but he voice calls with them all the time but he decides that isn’t enough so he gets rid of the dinosaur (his phone that andrew gave to him so he doesn’t really get rid of it he keeps it in the drawer by his bed) and gets an iphone

— after that all hell is unleashed and he is always facetiming at least one of them. andrew mostly and then matt and dan (but he sees them the most cause of dan being assistant coach) and then nicky and kevin.

— they all try to call each other at least once a week but theres a lot of them so they have a groupchat. they talk all day in this groupchat and at least three conversations are always happening at once and pictures from the good ‘ol days and recent ones are always being sent

— bless the thing called skype and google hangouts because now he can talk to more than one of them at once and it’s really great and he loves it and them so much

• they also try to visit each other on any special occasion and when they can’t you best believe they send cards and facetime.

• neil is most surprised by the times that kevin initiates contact with him after he also graduates. kevin will call and text him reminding him to train and eat properly and keep his reflexes sharp and to insult his skills because kev always records and watches his games. it’s few and far in between that kevin compliments him but when he does neil feels good and proud and awed but he’d never tell kevin that

— kevin and neil become closer okay i don’t make the rules. they call each other and talk about things other than exy but lets be real these exy junkies mostly talk about exy and each others games and the players on their teams (usually to complain or insult them) and kevin gives him advice

• when robin comes neil doesn’t feel all that lonely anymore and they are giving matt and neil a run for their money of the level of bro-ness

• my wife allison plays professionally and you cannot fucking tell me otherwise i’m sorry i don’t make the rules, she becomes pro and is a badass and her team beats kevin’s team once and kevin is pissy about it but he can’t be that mad (although he makes his team practice twice as long for a week straight afterword)

— speaking on my wife allison didn’t nora say she didn’t play pro and became a fashion designer or something? anyway she still does that and she makes sports gear and work out clothes that make you That Bitch but are also comfortable and practical and she becomes even more rich. everything comes in shades of bright orange, pink, and black

— every time she sees any of the foxes she brings them clothes from her line and she promotes the line by making the foxes put them on and model them for her.

— the most popular ones are matt boyd in a bright orange crop-top and booty shorts, the second most popular being neil in tight compression pants that leaves nothing to the imagination and a pink muscle tee. as soon as the picture of neil is posted his phone is ringing and guess who it is, yes that’s right its andrew. allison shoots neil a wink

— eventually she gets a deal with nike and designs shoes and the same thing, though this time she makes dan and renee model them for her. nicky does it on his own and send her pics of him wearing them and she posts them

— kevin adamantly refuses to model for her but he owns everything from her line but he would never tell her that and he shows his support by taking a picture of him at the gym in the gym mirror and he’s wearing them and allison reposts it and texts him a winky face

— everything she designs she has them try it first to see if it can withstand practical use so even after they graduate more than half the shit in their closets is bright orange only now theres also varying shades of pink

— she also forces her current team members to model for her and they all don’t want to at first until they actually try them and now all her teammates are always sporting her designs while training or at the gym or on court and she’s so proud of herself because she’s made something of herself without her parents

• now on to kevin, so he learns the piano i have a headcanon (i forget if its actually canon or not but) jean is like a piano prodigy so when he and jean have their bi-weekly calls he begins asking jean for tips and its hard but kevin picks it up a lot faster than he would have expected

i have so many thoughts on these guys so i’ll do a part two more on like renee, dan, matt, the twinyards and kev. especially aaron cause i don’t think i mentioned him but i have so many about him also so that’ll be in the second part.

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collectivedreamscapes-moved · 6 years

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the Crew - people

One of several groups of teens that tend to hang around together, the Crew is not as... hardcore as other groups. They were one of the first groups of teens to be known, before we really understood that the vast majority of the system falls within the teenage range.

rayna lynn is 16 and is Donna Marie's twin sister and was one of the first of us to make herself known to main Renee in 1999. She had often fronted when main Renee couldn’t handle it, and her thing was games of all sorts, especially cards and video games. She’s very much the tomboy and is also prone to wrestling with people. She’s nominally the head of the Crew. When she first became known in 1999 she was often seen with another, Selena (different from Selena of the Overseers). Selena eventually changed her name to Selene to separate herself from the associations most had to the name “Selena”. rayna and Selene called themselves the “Gruesome Twosome” and would often post that way at a message forum we frequented at the time. An event in the fall of that year (1999) involved a traumatic blending and Selene was one of the ones involved with that. rayna took the loss hard. rayna looks a lot like our real life daughter but with dark blond hair and hazel eyes.

Kayla aka Kaylana has been known to sign posts either BWA (bitch with attitude) or DWA (dyke with attitude). She's 15, freely calls herself a dyke, is as much of a tomboy as rayna and was the one most involved in the marching band when we were in high school. She loves to watch DCI (Drum Corps International) competitions and has really hated the fact that we didn’t get to see our sons march in marching band. She’s red-headed with green eyes and the temper to match.

Despair is an age slider who ranges between 13 and 17, usually hovering around 15. She is depressed almost all of the time. She sees the world in black and white and shades of grey. She tends to write free verse poetry and has a certain way with words when journaling. She stays mostly to herself or can be found with her sister ‘Kat. Her other sister is Jackielynn. Despair is dark skinned with black hair that she wears over her dark dark eyes.

Cara and Casey spend much of their time inside. They are both 15 and are identical twins. They have been known to come out when a song they know is on and they like to dance. They are bouncy and full of energy. They are also mischievous and like to play jokes on people. But only in fun. Neither of them seems to have a mean bone in their body. They are both petite brunettes with brown eyes.

Alex15 is brother and protector to Alex5. He is 15, as in his name. Both boys came about because of certain things that happened usually involving physical abuse of some sort. They were also often front when the girls felt that they should be a boy instead. He has not actually fronted since our early teen years. He and his brother are both white with dark hair and dark eyes.

Terri is 15 and we don't know hardly anything about her other than the fact that she is there.

Alejandro first became known to us in 2003 during one of our hospital trips. He’s 15, he’s queer, and he has a tendency to flame. He likes to dress up, is usually one of the ones who can actually put on make-up, and he’s got pretty good taste. He’s very shy, and tends not to speak much. He’s black with very short hair and dark eyes.

Matthew and Marcus showed up with Todd and Tyler sometime in 2004. It was a shock to main Renee who had always maintained we had very few males in the collective. The four of them showing up was just part of something that proved her very wrong. Matthew and Marcus are identical twins, are 17 and both have a noticeable southern accent. Matt loves to read and Marc loves to sing. Todd and Tyler are identical twins and are 16. We don’t know much about them except that they can joke with the best of them and they tend to try and cheer people up. All four brothers are biracial, again with dark hair and dark eyes.

Bitch #2, so called because Kayla had already been using BWA, is antagonistic and proud of it. She’s somewhere between 16 and 19, ornery, short tempered and is often impatient with people in general. If she had her wish we would live like hermits. She doesn’t really like people much and certainly doesn’t like to put up with any kind of emotional display. She looks much like the body.

Tony (aka Anthony) is 19 and was one of the main fronters for a while. He used to just be the guy who sat in the corner of the Front Room and listened to Linkin Park. In 2005 he took charge of Bane and Blade when Malice wanted to kick the shit out of Bane for daring to say what he thought about the father. Tony kept the twins with him to prevent Malice from getting her way. He started being a regular fronter late in 2006. He and ShayRisa are the two who used to front the most frequently. Tony tends to try and act tough, and he’s protective as hell of those he cares about. Although he was first freaked out at the idea of being a “mom”, he has come to adore our outside kids. He was one of the ones who was called to the Kids Castle summer of 2008 to help a group of children who had come forward with new info about our parents. Unlike many of us, he definitely has the ability to get angry and to express it. Sometimes the way he expresses it isn’t the best, but he’s been trying really hard not to do anything that will hurt the body. He’s a pretty complicated guy. He’s white with black hair in a skater’s cut and dark green eyes.

Daniel, whose age we have recently learned is 13, carries some very specific memories of the father. He isn’t very well time-oriented and only sort of knows those we are around. He seems a little vague, and when he first showed up he inadvertently scared most of the kids in our system. We later learned that they weren’t scared of him, but of what he carried. Daniel is also bi-racial with dark hair and green eyes. He is linked to the child Daniel in the Kids’ Castle the same way Alex5 and Alex 15 are.

Teesha, 14, is another of the video game teens. Other than knowing that, we know next to nothing about her. She looks like the body does.

Abby and Gail (both between 14 and 16) are both members of the graphics team. They are usually behind pattern design. They do patterns for more than just computer graphics. They also help come up with our quilt patterns and with our beading projects. Those of the graphics team are in general fairly artistically inclined. If it’s any kind of arts and crafts project, the graphics team most likely has a hand in it. Both girls are white with brown hair and brown eyes.

Kyle, Kevin, Kristin, Kylara and K’Tara all came forward at one time. We refer to them as the K-clan and Kayla is in charge of them. The five of them are 15 and were the ones who were the most involved with our first boyfriend. Of all of them only Kevin is really oriented to the here and now. He is the head of the graphics team. His is the final say so on any graphics project. He is also the coordinator between the graphics team and the code rats (web design). He and Tony often butt heads when trying to design a page, usually because the graphics team wants it to look one way and the code rats are telling them they can’t code it like that. Kevin tends to get obsessive about graphics projects. He and other members of the graphics team have the ability to completely block out awareness of the body when they are focused. We have to sometimes yell pretty loud to get his attention and get him to give the body a break. All five of them are biracial with skin tones like our outside children and dark hair and eyes.

#people #system stuff #the Crew

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palmettofoxden · 7 years

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Headcanon that before long drives to away games the Foxes make a playlist for each trip as a team.

Everyone has to go to Renee and she gives them her phone and lets them add songs to the playlist

When Neil doesn’t add any, she tracks him down to see which he wants on there

He picks just enough to make it look like he put some effort in so he can be left alone, but he doesn’t know much music

His choices are just a few songs that he doesn’t feel that strongly about, but he knows their names because he’s heard them a few times on the radio and he doesn’t hate them, so that’s good enough for him

On the run, it was just what they could catch on the radio and lots of the time they were driving where they couldn’t catch any signal but obscure country stations

Now Neil hates country music because of it

He couldn’t change the station to something else while he was driving because his mom wouldn’t let them stray from the one she had found (no matter how staticky it got) in case they couldn’t find one again while she was awake

And when it was her turn to sleep while he drove, he had to keep the radio off

On the bus, they put the whole playlist on shuffle while they drive

There’s no skipping allowed or else it would be total chaos and there would definitely be spite skipping

Which is why they all suffer through “This is the New Shit” blaring through the speakers at 5:30 in the morning because Andrew put it on the playlist

Also, they guess and make bets on who put what songs on when it’s a tough call

But sometimes it’s an easy call

Like, okay Kevin, we all know you’re the one who put “We Will Rock You” and “Tubthumping” and “All I Do is Win” on there

Tbh he may as well have put a whole sports rock album on there

Neil is so confused when Nicky’s singing along to the French lines in “Bad Romance” because Nicky doesn’t speak French????

And Nicky bursts into laughter when Neil asks about it and explains that’s the only French he speaks and he doesn’t even know what it means, he just knows all the Lady Gaga lyrics

Nicky also puts “Get’cha Head in the Game” on there and he definitely sings at Kevin when it comes on

And Andrew put “Basketball” on there just to annoy Kevin

When the song comes on, it keeps repeating “They’re playing basketball. We love that basketball.” while Kevin gets more and more visibly angry and Andrew almost smiles

Andrew turns and glares at Neil when “Head Over Heels” comes on, but then relaxes when Matt starts pretending to sing it to Dan and he realizes Neil didn’t put it on there

Andrew’s songs are mostly Marilyn Manson and punks songs that are a whole lot of loud with a whole lot of swearing, but when “Remember the Name” comes on people guess Kevin put it on and not Andrew

(Plus, Aaron is way more likely to put rap songs on than Andrew is, so Andrew is pretty low on the list of people who might have put it on)

When “Titanium” comes on, the upperclassmen look between each other and then at Nicky because there’s no way it was any of the other monsters

It was Neil and he actually likes the song, the upperclassmen appreciate the addition and sing along

Everyone (especially Nicky) is shocked that not only has Neil never seen Annie, but he doesn’t even know what it is or recognize the song when “The Hard-Knock Life” comes on and Neil doesn’t understand how everyone knows the lyrics when the upperclassmen and Nicky start singing it

Andrew and Aaron know the lyrics, but they’re not about to start singing them

Renee’s the one who put the song on the playlist

Even Andrew thinks it’s weird that Neil’s never heard of Annie, but then again Nicky’s made him watch it like 8 times and now they’re going to have to watch it a 9th to educate Neil

Allison’s got songs like “Bo$$,” “Confident,” and “Hard Out Here” on there and between her and Nicky they’ve got quite a bit of pop on there

Neil is in the middle of talking when Andrew holds a finger up to his own lips and then tells Neil to listen to the song that just came on

Neil is super confused, but of course he listens to the song because Andrew wants him to and now he’s curious about what Andrew likes about the song

It takes a minute for the rest of the bus to realize what song it is and by the time they do, it’s too late

At first Neil thinks it’s just another song about runaways with “I don’t want to know your name. ‘Cause you don’t look the same. The way you did before.”

And Andrew’s still staring Neil down with a blank expression

And then Neil’s a little busy wondering if Andrew really thinks he has a pretty face during the lines “Okay, you think you’ve got a pretty face. But the rest of you is out of place. You looked alright before.”

But then it gets to the chorus and “Fox on the Run” is blasting through the bus while the upperclassmen are scrambling to get their eyes on Neil and offering to turn it off and insisting that it isn’t funny

And if it was anyone else who had put it on there, Neil would probably be more annoyed, but Andrew specifically went out of his way to put this song on the playlist because it reminded him of Neil and so instead of looking annoyed, he’s smirking and the upperclassmen start to relax a bit, but still keep an eye on him until the song is over

“Who the fuck put ‘YMCA’ on here twice?” “It was Nicky, wasn’t it?” “I only put it on there once.”

“Okay, seriously, who the fuck put ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ on here and can we fucking skip it?” “No skipping. That’s the rule, remember?” “Fuck off.”

Neil does not understand what is happening when almost 7 hours into the drive the entire bus seems to catch a second wind when a song comes on

Dan starts singing it first because she’s the one who put it on the playlist, but it doesn’t take long before others join in at the top of their lungs

The entire team (with the exception of a confused Neil and an apathetic Andrew) starts enthusiastically singing along to “We’re Not Gonna Take It” and Neil’s so confused, but he loves it and loves the Foxes

#All For the Game #The Foxhole Court #Neil Josten #Andrew Minyard #Kevin Day #Renee Walker #Nicky Hemmick #Allison Reynolds #Dan Wilds #Matt Boyd #Aaron Minyard #Andreil #Personal #I have thought way too much about this idea honestly #I hope you like my self indulgent af post

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eucatastrph · 7 years

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yooo me and @aristptle r gay and emotional pls enjoy the resulting Soft Domestic hcs!!

Neil wasn’t sure how living apart for a year would work, but somehow it did and he doesn’t know how he ever doubted Andrew (they both have serious attachment problems, to be fair)

it’s weird at first, talking to Andrew through a screen, but they adjust

Andrew calls (usually without warning) and Neil will just talk about the new recruits, about his classes, about how he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be captain

sometimes they sit in silence, cigarettes lit, quietly missing each other

they sometimes do the same thing at night, and end up falling asleep with the call still going and neither of them hang up bc they like to hear the other breathing, bc it reassures them more than they’re willing to admit

Neil tries his best to make it to Andrew and Kevin’s games, and they do the same

he spends the night at the apartment andrew and kevin share and Kevin makes himself scarce

it’s so good to be together again, it’s awkward at first, full of yes-or-no?’s but it gets easier, like they’re sinking back into old rhythms that they never really forgot

and it’s always yes with Neil

Andrew wakes him up with black coffee and kisses

the first time he spends the night there he finds that there’s a drawer in Andrew’s dresser that’s completely empty, when asked Andrew claims it’s bc he had nothing to put in there but it gradually becomes Neil’s, filled with all his clothes that he ends up abandoning there so he doesn’t have to cart a whole bag every time he visits

There’s a bunch of stuff like that in andrew’s apartment, like spaces that are bookmarked for neil, his favourite fruit is in the fruitbowl, his bodywash is in the cabinet, little things that let him know he has a place there

Neil is appalled to find that Andrew’s freezer has only ice cream and nothing else

Kevin is also appalled, but at this point he has lost that argument too many times to even try

after Neil graduates Palmetto he moves in with Andrew and Kevin moves in with Thea

their lives are coming together, and it takes some getting used to

Neil gradually warms up to Bee, but he never becomes one of her patients

she regularly comes over for dinner, Andrew cooks, Neil tries to talk about something other than Exy (and usually fails)

the upperclassmen come over as often as they can, Matt and Dan bring alcohol and Renee and Allison always bring dessert

Neil wakes up early every morning to go running, Andrew always has coffee waiting

on weekends Neil sometimes jogs past a bakery and buys the most sugary chocolatey pastry he can find for Andrew

life is so good, but there are still bad days

Neil gives Andrew space when he needs it, and is always quick to say, “Yes” when Andrew needs him instead

sometimes when things are hard they just hold hands, their fingers intertwine perfectly and it’s grounding for both of them

Andrew holds the back of Neil’s neck when the past comes creeping back and it’s still as comforting as ever, to know there’s someone who wants him to stay here, in this moment and in this place

Sometimes when neil is feeling bad he likes to lie with his head in andrews lap while andrew traces his scars bc it reminds him that even though those things did happen, they aren’t any more, he’s safe and at home with andrew and it’s gonna be okay

they get the cats and Neil is their unspoken caretaker, Andrew refuses to acknowledge them but Neil saw when Sir and King slept in Andrew’s lap while Andrew deigned to stroke them (he doesn’t mention it cause he knows Andrew will deny it)

Andrew claims to hate the cats as much as he hates Neil but secretly he likes how soft their fur is and the sound of their purring and the pitter-patter of their feet on the floor before they launch themselves onto the couch

Neil buys groceries (he always remembers to get a pint for Andrew), Andrew forces Neil to buy new clothes, they both unexpectedly like furniture shopping

they may or may not spend five hours in IKEA (they spent ages in all of the showrooms, testing all of the comfy chairs)

Andrew picks out decorative pillows and it takes all of Neil’s will power not to say something

they definitely overestimated that amount of stuff they can fit into their car when they were picking stuff out, but they stubbornly refused to pay for delivery so it took them like 3 trips to get it all home

their apartment is? cozy?? they have a lot of blankets and cushions lying around and they like to pile them all on the couch, sit with the cats and lots of snacks, and watch obnoxiously bad movies (Andrew throws popcorn and Neil tries to catch it)

they have a balcony where they like sit and it’s not quite the roof of Fox Tower but it’s theirs so it’ll work

they put some comfy chairs out there and a bunch of plants and in summer they’ll sit out there for hours, Sir and King sunbathe with them

they get to build a life together, a life full of sleepy mornings, stolen cigarettes, grateful kisses, clothes covered with cat hair, freshly brewed coffee, late night ice cream outings, spontaneous road trips, slightly burnt toast, overflowing ash trays, wars over who gets to control the TV remote, nicked hoodies, cold feet under warm blankets, showers shared (to conserve water, of course), cats scratching on doors to be let in…

but mostly just knowing that they aren’t and never will be alone

#have I mentioned that I love myken?? idk if I have fully noted my appreciation for existence?? I love her much #hope you don't hate it!!#the foxhole court #aftg #all for the game #Andrew minyard #pls just let them bc happy and recovering and not hurting and safe #also where are read notes meant to be?? pls help me??#i tried to post this earlier and idk if it worked bc tumblr is a Hellsite #Neil josten #tags work?#andreil #tfc

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luobingmeis · 7 years

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hawk in the raven nest, chapter seven

chapter summary: It was June 1st.

A/N: if this fic was split up, i like to think that chapters 1-6 would be volume one. now onto volume two (:

read on ao3

previous chapter

chapter list

On June 1st, Edgar Allan’s district change was released by the ERC to the public. Every college sports station was reporting on it, and every station made the same connection: the Ravens transferred to the same district as the Foxes.

And thus started the summer of chaos. Reporters and fans everywhere questioned what would happen when Riko and Kevin met again on the court, except this time as athlete and coach. Riko and Kevin’s names still appeared next to each other in sentences, except this time it wasn’t praising the leading duo, it was wondering what would come of this unexpected rivalry. Reporters flooded Castle Evermore to get the players’ thoughts on the switch and the upcoming season. However, only Riko was permitted to speak to them.

“It will be exciting to see Kevin on the court as a rival, especially when seeing his coaching skills,” Riko had said in one of his interviews. “He might actually pull the Palmetto Foxes together as a team. I just hope he knows that the Ravens won’t go easy on him because we know him well.” Riko had flashed the camera one of his charming smiles, but Nathaniel had seen through it. He saw the coldness in Riko’s eyes that reporters took as passion, he saw the brutality behind his smile that the reporters took as charming, and he saw the fatality in the hands that gripped his racket that the reporters took as power.

Everything about Riko Moriyama was a lie. But knowing that one day Nathaniel would expose him made the summer pass smoother than he anticipated. Well, as smoothly as it could with Andrew and Nathaniel beginning their plan. Kevin still had time to wait; the Foxes season didn’t begin until August. But Andrew and Nathaniel had no time to waste.

For the summer, it was just the little things they could do. It was making the Top Five (now Top Four) from Riko and Kevin, Nathaniel and Jean, and Andrew, to Riko, Nathaniel and Jean, Nathaniel and Andrew, and Kevin working with Nathaniel and Andrew from the outside. It was the start of letting Riko know that some of his obedient servants were not bowing to the King anymore. It was letting the panic of losing a grip on what was his overcome Riko.

Nathaniel didn’t have to say anything for Riko to notice. He knew that their captain saw Nathaniel keep up appearances with Andrew just as much as he did with Jean. And he knew that their team saw their captain lacking his former left-hand man.

It was all just enough for Riko to feel the grip of panic around his throat.

It was all that, and not to mention that Andrew never got easier to handle during summer practices. He was still as defiant as he was when Kevin was there, still didn’t care just as much, and still managed to destroy in goal while simultaneously really not caring.

Riko always had little tolerance for Andrew; he had ever since Andrew rejected their offer and then showed up with Kevin. Whatever Riko had left in him was fraying, and yet he never laid a hand on Andrew. It seemed like Kevin was telling the truth when he said Riko wouldn’t attack Andrew because Andrew had nothing to lose from fighting back harder. While Riko valued his life and career above all else, Andrew held his with so little regard.

And then there was Kevin, working with them from Palmetto. Throughout the summer, the amount of times Kevin called only increased. It was dangerous; if anyone found out that Nathaniel and Andrew were in contact with Kevin, and word got to Riko, they were fucked. But Nathaniel knew he couldn’t fear danger anymore, and with Riko being that ‘danger’, he couldn’t fear Riko either. Kevin called when Nathaniel was alone or with Andrew, texted him when he wasn’t, and only called in the middle of the night when the information was dire.

Each time Kevin called, he reported the healing of his hand. The surgeon that Tetsuji and Riko had do his hand said that healing would take twelve weeks, and up to six months to regain full movement. So, over the summer, his hand healed gradually. But whenever Kevin said that his hand didn’t hurt as much, Nathaniel did feel a small glimmer of hope.

Kevin also gave as much information as he could about the Foxes. Nathaniel and Andrew needed to know what they were dealing with, and they needed to know that this mess of a team could get to championships. Kevin said that captain and offensive dealer Danielle Wilds worked the team to the bone; he respected her, and found it admirable how quickly she took to accepting his criticisms. Matthew Boyd, leading backliner and Danielle’s boyfriend, was the best player out there. Kevin didn’t call anyone besides him or Riko “the best”, so to hear him say that meant a lot, and that it was true. Seth Gordon, the only fifth year senior and a striker, was a talented player, but Kevin said that he was too defiant, reckless, and a wiseass. How defiant, reckless, and asshole-like he was depended on the state of his relationship with his on-and-off again girlfriend.

Janie Smalls was the Foxes’ other striker; rumor had it that she would end up benched before the fall season is over. Renee Walker was the Foxes’ only goalie. Kevin said she needed to be better if the Foxes wanted to get anywhere that season and that she needed to stop letting people score on her so much. Allison Reynolds, defensive dealer and Seth’s on-off girlfriend, was vicious and relentless on the court and Kevin said that he “actually pitied anyone who got in her way”. Nathaniel found it amusing when he realized that Kevin was slightly intimidated by Allison.

And then there was Andrew’s family. Nicky Hemmick, cousin and backliner, was reportedly the weakest backliner out out of the three on the team. Kevin said that he needed to find a way to connect with the other backliner on his line and Renee if he wanted to actually have a place on the court. But, all in all, Nicky was a hard worker, and even Kevin said that he could see that he had potential if he kept working. Nicky asked a lot about Andrew, but Kevin didn’t tell him much; apparently Nicky had the tendency to gossip, and Kevin didn’t trust him enough to tell him even a fraction of their plans. Aaron Minyard, twin and backliner, was a good player but refused to associate with anyone but his cousin. That meant that he, while able to work with Matthew, played better with Nicky but it was unrealistic to only put them on together since Matthew and Aaron were the better players. Unlike his cousin, Aaron barely asked about Andrew. Kevin said it was obvious that something happened between the two, since both twins seemed content to barely mention each other. Kevin had yet to find out what that was.

Kevin admitted that he asked Wymack why he had recruited Nicky and Aaron; after seeing their stats from their high school games, he saw that Aaron was good but there were still players that sat ahead of him, and Nicky played in high school but, being twenty-three on the team, he was out of practice for many years. He was surprised to find out that Wymack’s answer was just that Andrew directed him to his brother and cousin. Kevin tried to get more out of him, but all he got from Wymack was that when Andrew, who made it obvious to Wymack that he didn’t care about Exy, directs you to two potential players, it means something.

Overall, what Kevin said was that the Foxes were “a team of nobodies that could actually amount to something if they all pulled their heads out of their asses and worked together”. Instead, they were a fractured team. Matthew and Seth didn’t get along. Seth and Aaron didn’t get along. Neither did Seth and Nicky. It didn’t take long to realize that Seth only got along with Allison when their relationship was good. Aaron was isolated from the entire team, only associating with his cousin. Nicky was more amiable than Aaron, and had a better time getting along with some of his other teammates. But that didn’t mean he would side with any of them over Aaron. Allison mostly stuck with Seth, but she was friendly with Danielle and Renee. However, it was impossible not to notice the tension between Allison and Seth and everyone else. Janie seemed like she was falling apart by the minute. Renee was nice, but being nice didn’t really get people places. Danielle seemed like the only force, besides Wymack, holding the team together, and even then Kevin could see how frustrated she got with her uncooperative team.

Nathaniel was surprised when he saw how much time Kevin put into learning about the Palmetto Foxes.

“But you only have eight players,” Nathaniel had said to Kevin during one of their phone calls. “The ERC requires nine players at minimum.”

“Wymack had someone he recruited, but the recruitment ended up falling through for… hospitalization, I think. But I told the ERC that the Foxes would have their ninth player by November,” Kevin said. “I know someone. The ERC has a tendency to listen to me. However, they said that if there is no ninth player by the first game in November, the Foxes are disqualified.”

When Kevin had said that, Nathaniel’s stomach dropped. If the Foxes were disqualified, their entire plan would go to shit. And this new player had the potential to do well on the Foxes, yes, but they also had the potential to ruin everything and separate the Foxes even more. He was beyond frustrated with Kevin at seeing how easily he late their fate rely on this new player. “And you’re not worried that they’ll bail, or be terrible?”

“Not at all,” the cockiness was clear in Kevin’s voice. Nathaniel really couldn’t stand Kevin sometimes.

It was undeniable that, by the time August came around and Exy season was really starting, their plan was set into motion, and there was no one that could stop it from continuing, now.

A week into the season, the game schedule for the Ravens’ fall season was released and all eyes went to the game planned for October 13th: the Ravens up against the Foxes. Now that the teams were in the same district, they were bound to face each other before Championships. It was going to be one of the most anticipated matches of the season, not because there was a chance that the Foxes would win (there was no chance this early in the season), but because it was going to be Riko and Kevin’s first meeting since Kevin left. Even the Ravens themselves were eager to see what would happened, let alone reporters.

While the team was changing for their practice, Nathaniel approached Andrew. The latter changed by himself in a row that only he occupied, so they had the luxury of not being overheard. Andrew was pulling on his jersey over his gear and armbands when Nathaniel came up to him. He glanced over at him but didn’t say a word.

There was enough chatter here and there in the locker room to cover up their conversation, but Nathaniel still waited until he was standing with Andrew to speak, “Should we talk later?” He didn’t have to specify what he was talking about. With the upcoming game, they would probably have to discuss their plan for that and how they would deal with Kevin and-

“No,” Andrew said simply. He shoved his gloves into his helmet and dangled it on his fingers from the straps.

“But-” Nathaniel started to argue but Andrew cut him off.

“That isn’t ours to deal with,” he said before turning and walking away. Nathaniel sighed and followed him out of the row. He personally had hoped for more from that conversation, but Andrew wasn’t technically wrong when he meant that Kevin had to deal with that first game.

He walked out of the locker room shadowing Andrew, and from behind him he heard Engle, Andrew’s roommate, say to someone, “See? I told you I haven’t been staying out of my room just for Jenkins. There’s that, too.”

When Nathaniel received another call from Kevin, it was after practice and he was alone in his dorm room again, but he knew he wouldn’t be for long; Jean had only stepped out for a moment and would be back shortly. He knew it was too risky to accept the call now. He rejected the call, and not long after did he receive a text from Kevin:

Foxes v. Ravens October 13th. The Foxes won’t win.

The fact that they wouldn’t win was obvious and known by everyone.

Nathaniel typed back:

they won’t win. they just need enough wins to make it to spring championships.

That was Kevin’s job in it all. He had to fix the Foxes enough so that they could qualify for spring championships, and then get them through the death matches to Championships.

It was one job, but it was one hell of a job.

Jean entered right when Nathaniel got a confirmation text from Kevin and Nathaniel was able to breathe easy at the fact that he chose not to accept the call. It would have looked suspicious if Nathaniel suddenly hung up his phone, or even stared at Jean for too long while not saying anything on the line.

However, Jean’s next words put a halt to his sudden moment of peace. It was the French that first caught Nathaniel’s attention. The two only spoke in French when they didn’t want anyone else understanding the content of what they were saying; it wasn’t just thrown around carelessly. And then Nathaniel’s brain pieced together what Jean had said.

“Are you going to tell Kevin that I wish him well on the Foxes?”

Nathaniel felt his heart leap to his throat and his stomach drop out of him. No, no, don’t show anything, act normal. He forced his fingers to keep moving normally on his phone and kept his breathing in check. He feigned annoyance and rolled his eyes at Jean. “You’re hysterical, Jean.”

“But Nathaniel,” Jean said, locking eyes. “Unfortunately, I’m not kidding. I know what you’ve been doing. You’ve been talking to him. You’re phone calls aren’t all that secretive.”

I know what you’ve been doing. It was the words Nathaniel feared to hear; he had nightmares of Riko coming up to him and saying that exact phrase. Those words coming from Riko meant that everything was over: their plan, their revenge, Nathaniel Wesninski, Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day. Everything.

Somehow, coming from his roommate and ally didn’t make hearing it any better.

Nathaniel didn’t want to confess but he didn’t want to keep lying. Kevin had said that Jean would get dragged into this, that it was better to bring him in now than later, and even though Kevin was a drunken mess when he said that, he was right. Nathaniel just never knew when the right time would be, if there would even be one.

Nathaniel stayed silent, and Jean crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow. “Are you going to say anything, or do you need me to elaborate?”

“We have a plan,” Nathaniel said weakly.

“We?” Jean questioned. Nethaniel mentally kicked himself for already giving away more information than Jean knew. Jean had thought it was just Nathaniel speaking with Kevin. But now, watching Jean put together everything that happened over the summer was painful. “It’s not just you and him. It’s Andrew, too. That’s why you’ve suddenly been with him all this summer. The team thought you two were-” Jean cut himself off. “What the fuck are you two doing?”

“You all thought me and Andrew were what?”

“You don’t get to be the one who is asking questions right now,” Jean snapped. “What is this plan that you three have made?”

Nathaniel thought about his words carefully. It would be the first time he was vocalizing it to anyone who wasn’t Andrew and Kevin. It felt like a betrayal to both Kevin and Andrew, and Jean, and yet he had to say it now. “We’re putting an end to this,” was what Nathaniel finally decided on saying.

“An end to this? An end to what?”

“This,” Nathaniel said, sweeping his hand around the room. “The Ravens.”

Jean went so pale Nathaniel feared he would collapse. Both Jean and Nathaniel knew what abuse came with the Ravens, but they only ever talked about surviving; they never even considered retaliation. Surviving was a concept that they could grasp. Retaliation was a future too-sweet, a future that slipped through their fingers a long time ago.

“Oh my God.”

“Jean, you have to listen-”

“Oh my God,” Jean said, louder this time. Nathaniel rushed over to shush him; their teammates couldn’t hear the French. But Jean just pushed Nathaniel away from him. “Nathaniel, are you- have you lost your mind? How can you even say that? Are you fucking stupid? You can’t- you can’t do that! You all will be killed, and then I’ll be killed! Do you not remember what we talked about? We talked about surviving, this isn’t surviving! This is a suicide mission!”

“But we can’t just survive anymore, Jean,” Nathaniel said, keeping his voice low. He took another step closer only for Jean to take one back. “To survive means that Riko wins, but that can’t happen anymore! He can’t get away with what he does anymore!”

Jean shook his head, staring wide-eyed at Nathaniel. “Is this all because of what happened to us after Kevin left? We’ve been through worse.”

“That’s not it,” Nathaniel said. His gut twisted because he knew where this conversation was going.

“Then what is it, Nathaniel? Tell me what it is, make me understand why you’re making this idiotic plan, with Minyard no less.”

“How did Kevin break his hand?” Nathaniel asked.

Jean narrowed his eyes. “What does that-”

“Just answer, Jean,” Nathaniel said. “Tell me, Jean, how did Kevin break his hand?”

“He was hit by a car,” Jean said slowly, staring down Nathaniel.

“What if I told you that wasn’t it?”

Jean looked like he wanted to tell Nathaniel that he was lying. That there was no way that was true because that wasn’t what Tetsuji told them. He didn’t want to believe Nathaniel, but every time he opened his mouth nothing came out. Finally, after three tries, he managed out, “What?”

Nathaniel took a deep breath. He closed the gap between him and Jean, and luckily Jean did not back away. “There was no hit and run,” he whispered. “Everything Tetsuji and Riko had told you about what happened to Kevin was a lie. There was no late-night run, there was no drunk driver. That is not how Kevin broke his hand.”

Jean shook his head again. “How do you know any of this?”

“Because I was the one who had to clean up the mess,” Nathaniel said. “Riko smashed and destroyed Kevin’s hand in a fit of jealous rage when it was discovered that Kevin was the better striker, and Riko sent me to deal with him. Meanwhile, he talked to Tetsuji and planned out everything. Riko got what he wanted and took out his competition, and Kevin lost his contract and his career in Exy. Tetsuji told us the lie and everyone believed him because that’s the only thing that we have ever known. The only people who know this are me and Andrew, Tetsuji, Riko, Kevin, and now you.”

“Oh my god,” Jean repeated for a third time. His words were far away even though he was standing right in front of Nathaniel.

Nathaniel nodded. “Turns out we weren’t the only ones who had to suffer Riko’s tantrums. Kevin told me Riko attacking him wasn’t uncommon. The only one Riko didn’t do anything to was Andrew.”

“Andrew would be the only one to fight him back,” Jean said, sitting down on his bed. He then let out a humorless laugh and propped his chin in his hands. “This is so fucked.”

“I’m well aware.”

“What do you three even plan to do?” Jean asked.

Nathaniel hesitated to answer. He had been so used to keeping secrets that it was the first path he turned to, but he didn’t think he could keep secrets anymore. “The Moriyamas dislike loose ends. At the end of this, Riko will be one. He’s always been one, abusing his power and all, but now it will be more… evident. That, and the Foxes will win the Championships.” It was just enough for Jean to understand what was going on. Nathaniel would never be completely at ease relaying the plan to him, even in a different language. With Andrew it was different; they kept their voices lowered. With Jean in a state like this, he didn’t know if he could trust his roommate to be quiet.

Jean laughed again and buried his face into his hands. “Oh my God, we are all so fucked.” His words were muffled. Nathaniel worried his bottom lip.

“Well,” Jean said and lifted his head up. He took a deep breath to compose himself and pulled a hand through his hair. “Now what?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow in question. “You can’t just expect me to sit back and watch you three kill yourselves doing this.”

“You’re not getting involved in this,” Nathaniel said, shaking his head.

“Am I not already involved?” Jean asked.

At that moment, Nathaniel decided that Andrew had to protect Jean. When this all started, Nathaniel knew what could happen if Kevin, Andrew, or Nathaniel stepped out of line. They were well aware of the fact that this plan could be walking them to their deaths. But now Jean knew, and while Andrew, Kevin, and Nathaniel were dragged into this mess together, Jean was dragged in by Nathaniel. If anything were to happen to Jean, it would be on Nathaniel’s conscience.

Nathaniel’s own mother was killed because she tried to get him out of the lifestyle set for him by the Moriyamas. He didn’t know if he could handle anymore guilt if something happened to Jean because of what Nathaniel brought him into.

For Jean’s protection, Andrew was the answer.

“I’m working on that part,” Nathaniel said quietly. “Now, I think it would be for our best interest if we stopped his conversation.”

Jean agreed, reluctantly, and that night Nathaniel found himself in Andrew’s dorm room.

“Back in my room,” Andrew said, looking up at Nathaniel from where he sat at his desk chair. His chin was propped in one of his hands and the sleeve of his shirt was falling down to reveal a black armband. “Again.”

“And you’re alone in your shared room,” Nathaniel said. “Again.”

“I’m sure you didn’t come here to discuss my dorm room habits.” The constant bored expression remained on Andrew’s face as he quirked an eyebrow at Nathaniel.

“Jean knows,” Nathaniel said with a lowered voice. “He’s known for a while about the phone conversations. He now knows the full truth.”

If Andrew was shocked by that news, he didn’t bother to show it. “And?”

“I was hoping you could do something about that.” Nathaniel said. He didn’t expect much from Andrew, and he definitely didn’t expect him to listen to his request, but he had to try.

“Hope is a thing that only leads to disappointment,” Andrew said, and suddenly Nathaniel’s curiosity was piqued. He found himself interested in what made him have such a loss of faith in hope, but he couldn’t dwell on that now.

“Please?”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I hate the word ‘please’.”

“Then forget I said it,” Nathaniel said, holding himself back from rolling his eyes. “Jean isn’t the one who belongs in this. But whatever happens to me, happens to him. It seems like you’re the one who can just… keep Riko off of him. He’ll be getting the brunt of the violence with us. He doesn’t deserve that when I’m the one who dragged him in.”

“And what happened to him being your responsibility? Was I not clear enough?”

“I can’t keep him from all of this,” Nathaniel admitted. He hated confessing that to Andrew, but Andrew was the one who could help. “You’ve made it clear that you can, unless you were lying this entire time?”

“I don’t lie. I hate you even more for accusing me of doing so,” Andrew said. His voice remained monotone.

This time Nathaniel did roll his eyes. “So? I’m not asking you to take Jean under your wing and make a deal with him like you did with me. I’m just asking that you keep him away from the worst of Riko’s violence.”

It seemed like Andrew barely thought about it before he answered with, “Okay.”

That was the answer Nathaniel wanted, but he didn’t expect it to come to him so easily. “Really? You’re serious?”

“I’m getting very concerned that you can’t understand basic English. Did I not just say that I don’t lie?”

“You did,” Nathaniel said. “I just didn’t expect you to agree so easily. You know, because you hate me. Which makes perfect sense: to hate me and find me interesting and all.”

“I hate everything about you,” Andrew agreed. “And I told you that you would have to keep my interest.”

“Obviously I have considering the fact that I’m still here, and you are too.” Nathaniel let a smirk form on his face. Andrew’s eyes looked like they could bore holes through his skull.

“You’re infuriating, now get out before I kill you.”

#neil josten #nathaniel wesninski #andrew minyard #aftg #tfc #stuff i write #hawk in the raven nest

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nekojitachan · 7 years

Text

More Raven!Neil! This is coming on in in bits and pieces, but sooner or later I’ll have a complete chapter which means I’ll HAVE to start writing the thing properly.

Andrew POV for now (probably because most of H4 is Andrew POV).

*******

Andrew thought it had been tiring enough, dealing with Kevin back in June when he’d discovered Riko’s little stunt with the district switch and everything, with the Foxes finding out that they’d be facing the Ravens on the court that season. Dealing with the coward swinging back and forth between ‘we’re not good enough’ and fighting with the rest of the rejects as he struggled to make the Foxes into some sort of team ‘worthy’ of their Class I Exy status – fighting literally with Boyd and Gordon most days, to the point that Andrew was getting rather annoyed with having to remind those two morons about his ‘don’t touch’ rule.

Not even Kevin’s little shadow, Mitchell, could put him in a good mood, not when Kevin spent half his time griping about Mitchell’s lack of skill, about how he wasn’t learning fast enough. There’d been the failed attempt at joining in on the late night practices on the kid’s part, until he’d shown up twice the next morning with his arms blown out and Wymack had put his foot down.

A pissy Kevin was almost as bad as a sniveling Kevin, which was still better to the almost catatonic Kevin staring at the computer screen in Wymack’s office just then; the old man had called Kevin in after they’d finished their morning workout, something about the Raven’s finally announcing their season’s line-up – something about a new striker.

Andrew gave Wymack a flat look as he went around the man’s large desk, deliberately reaching out to push over a precariously stacked pile of folders along the way, to see what it was that had set off the coward that time – what, had they managed to recruit Knox from the Trojans? “This better be worth the effort, I want to wash off,” Andrew warned as he came over to stand beside Day.

Kevin didn’t say anything, he just made an abortive motion at the screen with his right hand, so it was Wymack who spoke. “I just found out a few minutes ago myself. All I knew was that they’d recruited someone but had asked the ERC to keep the name quiet until today, something about avoiding unwanted attention so the kid could focus on training. But they had to release it today because of the line-up for the game.”

Wymack had pulled up the player’s profile and stats, which were displayed on the screen, and Andrew found a rare jolt of surprise flaring inside of him as he looked upon a mostly familiar visage – mostly because unlike back in Millport, Neil Josten now sported striking pale blue eyes instead of insipid brown and bright auburn hair neatly trimmed along the sides with the longer strands falling into loose curls down his forehead instead of a dark unruly mess. The changes didn’t stop there, either – there was a black ‘4’ tattooed high on his left cheekbone and a deliberate blankness to his expression that the rattled yet defiant runner hadn’t possessed back in the locker room.

“Huh, the rabbit grew wings rather than become a fox, how interesting.” Andrew pulled on a grin as he poked a still silent Kevin in the side of his face, right against the ‘2’ tattoo. “Guess he was serious about not playing with you.”

Hmm, it was also interesting how Kevin didn’t smack his hand aside or yell at him, he just flinched and closed his eyes as if to block out some horrible sight. “You still in there?” Andrew taunted.

“He….” Kevin finally spoke as he opened his eyes, his complexion waxy as he motioned again at the monitor. “He joined the Ravens.” Somehow that sounded more like a question than a statement.

Wymack frowned as he nodded, busy righting the pile of folders that Andrew had knocked over but not bitching about the fact, which was oh so telling. “They’re not giving out much information, just that he spent the summer training with them and he’s on the starting line-up.” His frown deepened when Kevin flinched again. “Guess you were right about the kid having talent.”

“Yeah.” Kevin swiped his right over his face as he laughed, the sound quiet and strained. “Yeah, he does. Uhm, I’m gonna… I gotta shower and get to class.” Then he was moving out of the office in a hurry, which left Andrew and Wymack alone.

“Okay, that was fucked up,” Wymack said after a slight pause. “I expected him to be angry at Edgar Allen for swiping his pick, not that.”

Andrew quietly agreed, but he didn’t say anything, just knocked over another stack of folders before he left, which finally made Wymack curse him out. He found Kevin in the showers, but the man was quiet and didn’t say anything to him as they washed off and went to their classes.

Good at biding his time, at knowing when to exert minimum effort for maximum reward, Andrew let it go for the moment, content to allow others do some of his work for him, to let Kevin stew for a while longer and for things to build. Because word soon got out that Neil Josten had ‘gone over’ to the Ravens, and it wasn’t pretty when that happened.

Gordon was smug as fuck, which just reinforced that he’d been behind the leak in the first place. Wilds and Boyd were pissed off, furious at the Moriyamas for snatching up what should have been the Foxes’ recruit, Mitchell was indignant that people were talking about the player who’d turned his back on the Foxes rather than him, the guy who’d signed on with the team, and Nicky egged them all on, the moron. It got to the point that Andrew was a few seconds away from locking them in the changing room and pulling the fire suppression system, except Aaron was sitting in the middle of the fucking annoying lot.

That and Renee may have noticed him glancing over at the system and had gotten up at one point to lean against the wall right next to the alarm. She met his flat gaze with a too-sweet smile and held it for several seconds, until he had to look away and still the twitch in his right leg as the damn drugs slowly worked their way out of his system. Just a little longer for the shit to pass through and no more buzzing to pull at his thoughts or emotions, even if he would have to play some stupid game to earn it. Then he could ride out the crash with some alcohol, could use those and the sharp edge of curiosity to push back the nausea and need a little longer.

Answers were so much better than false euphoria, especially when they hurt others more than him.

Wymack had to yell at everyone to stop fighting amongst themselves and to pull their heads out of their asses so they could get ready to beat Breckenridge (Andrew scoffed at that, at how the man never seemed to accept the team for the lost cause that it was). There was some stupid speech which he ignored and soon enough it was time to go out onto court, to listen to the lousy music and cheers and then take the goal for the first part of the game.

At least he had a decent spot to watch the Foxes lose to one of the better Class I teams, to watch Kevin snap out of it for a little while – only to be hampered by Gordon getting into fights as usual, by Mitchell being too tentative and uncoordinated whenever he had the ball. When it came to halftime, they were down three to six.

It didn’t get any better in the second half, when Andrew sat out the game, with Breckenridge taking it five to ten when it was all said and done. Once the Foxes were back in the locker room, Wymack gave his spiel that it was just the start of the season, Wilds went on about how they hadn’t done that bad against a tough opponent while Mitchell apologized for his fuck-ups when Gordon punched a locker and snapped at the kid that the team could do a hell of a lot better if they hadn’t been dragged down by his rookie ass. That led to Boyd shoving Gordon away and even Reynolds yelling at her sometime boyfriend, while Andrew motioned to the others to grab their stuff so they could get ready and leave.

Nicky winced a little at all the yelling but shook his head. “So loud. Really, what did they expect would happen tonight?”

“Especially with the way you play – or don’t play,” Aaron remarked in a deadpan manner as they entered the showers.

“Hey! I didn’t see you trying too hard out there, either,” Nicky complained.

Andrew waited for Kevin to make his usual ‘you both suck and should be ashamed of yourselves’ comment, and arched an eyebrow when the Exy addict merely entered a stall so he could wash off. Even Nicky noticed Kevin’s silence and sent Andrew a look, then hurried into his own stall when Andrew narrowed his eyes.

Kevin spared them a recount of everything they’d done wrong during the game on the drive back to the dorms, where they were staying for once because a certain someone had agreed to go on a television show the next day. A certain someone who was going to stay up all night, rather than Andrew have to put up with dragging him out of bed in a few hours.

Nick and Aaron joined in to have some drinks once they got back, but Andrew watched over Kevin to keep him from doing his usual ‘drink until passed out’ routine; his intent was two-fold in that if the alcoholic managed to drink himself into the usual Friday night stupor, Wymack was going to find him face down in the toilet when he came to pick up his precious media darling – and not from Kevin being hungover, oh no. That and Andrew needed a few brain cells to remain unpickled if he wanted answers.

Him snatching away the almost-empty bottle of vodka from a scowling Kevin was the sign for Aaron and Nicky to go to bed, since they were remaining on campus in the morning. “Either I take it or I smash it over your head,” Andrew told Kevin with a slight smile, which made the coward give up with a muttered curse and sit down at his desk to watch something on his computer instead.

That ‘something’ turned out to be an Exy game, a recording of the Raven’s game from earlier in the night, a game where they’d played UT. There was some irony there, watching Edgar Allen in their black and red uniforms go against UT in their orange and white, a precursor of things to come, so to speak. How nice of Fate to help Andrew out (if he believed in such things).

He went off to brew some coffee, and returned with a mug for him and one for Kevin as well, some whiskey in both to nurse them through the remaining hours until they had to leave for Kathy Ferdinand’s show. The Exy addict appeared riveted by the sight of the players with the numbers ‘1’ and ‘4’ on their backs, with the way they raced across the court. While Andrew held no love at all for the sport, he knew it well enough after the last few years to recognize the skill which Riko displayed, the technical ability behind the seemingly impossible shots, the control in how he flung the ball across the court.

Compared to him, Neil Josten didn’t seem like much – at least not at first. But the kid was fast, damn fast. He could clear the court in a blink of the eye, could make those ten steps count by grabbing the ball and getting the hell out of the opponent’s way before he could be pinned down, aided by long legs for his height and swift feet. He didn’t seem to need to look to know where to throw the ball, either, and he was more than willing to take on opponents bigger than him (basically everyone else on the court) if it got him the ball or the shot.

He wasn’t Kevin, but he worked well with Riko due to that speed and flexibility, that determination and self-sacrifice. Especially when it was clear that he didn’t mind taking the hits and giving up the goals so Riko could shine. During the time that Andrew leaned against the wall and watched the game, Neil had scored one goal to Riko’s three.

“He’s improved,” was all Andrew said.

“He was holding back,” Kevin answered after taking a long swig of Irish coffee. “Maybe not intentionally, but… the Master got it out of him.” That prompted another long swig of coffee.

Andrew gave it a couple of minutes, gave Kevin a little more time to stew, then spoke up. “He’s not the only one holding back, is he?” He shifted forward to stand closer to Kevin. “What did you see in his team photo?”

Kevin’s face became flushed and he paused the game. “I don’t… I should get-“

“No.” Andrew reached out in a flash to snatch away the mug from Kevin’s weak grip, which made the drunk sink back in his chair. “What did you see?” He wanted answers now, especially while Aaron and Nicky weren’t around.

The question provoked a blurry stare from Kevin, who then shook his head. “No, you don’t want to know that, it’s better that you don’t know.”

“I don’t think you understand how we play this game,” Andrew remarked with a mirthless grin while he waved the half-empty mug in the air. “I keep you safe, keep you out of Moriyama hands, and you tell me the truth, among other things. I ask you questions and you tell me no lies. Now, what the hell is going on with Neil Josten, hmm?” Why had the kid reacted so strangely around Kevin? Why had he refused to play with Kevin, yet signed with the Ravens – a no-name rookie with one year behind him?

Kevin moaned a little as he clutched his left hand to his chest while staring at the laptop’s screen with a mix of longing and grief. “It’s… that’s just it, it’s the Moriyamas,” he stressed. “It’s things you don’t want to know.”

Andrew’s eyes narrowed upon hearing that. “Oh, but I disagree. They say confession is good for the soul, Day, something a nice Irish boy like you should know. So start confessing.”

There was a quick, longing gaze at the mugs held in Andrew’s hands and then Kevin slumped even more in his chair. “What do you know about Nathan Wesninski?”

That was an odd tangent, wasn’t it? “Nothing,” Andrew answered as he held off on returning the one mug for the moment. “Why?”

Kevin huffed a little and shook his head. “Because he’s Neil’s father – Neil’s real name is Nathaniel Wesninski. I didn’t realize it until I saw the photo of him earlier with the tattoo; he’d changed his appearance back in Millport.”

Why wasn’t Andrew surprised that it wouldn’t be a simple story? “Why would he do that?” he asked as he handed over the coffee, which the coward immediately snatched and finished off in a couple of swallows before he continued with the ‘lovely’ tale of a boy and boring Exy.

“Because… because Nathan Wesninski is also known as the Butcher,” Kevin mumbled as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. “He works for the Moriyamas and runs a large criminal empire on the East Coast.”

Oh, now things were getting interesting, weren’t they? “And yet his son is in some shit-hole town in Arizona playing Exy? Elaborate,” Andrew commanded as he sat down on the edge of the desk.

Kevin scowled at the order but wasn’t too drunk to not realize that it was in his best interest to comply. “Because about ten years ago, Nathan brought Nathaniel to the Nest so the Mast- ah,” that time he caught Andrew’s displeased look over the name, “so Tetsuji could evaluate how well Nathaniel played Exy.” His green eyes grew unfocused as he seemed to think back on that time. “Nathaniel played as a backliner then and was really good, so good that Riko and I knew that Mah- uhm, Tetsuji would take him on. Only he never returned because Wesninski’s wife apparently ran off with Nathaniel during the night and several million dollars as well.”

Andrew dwelled on the story for a minute or two while Kevin seemed to drift off into memories or unpleasant thoughts, considering the drawn, pensive look on his face. “So this Wesninski was going to give Tetsuji his son?” Kevin had talked a little about the things that went on at the Nest, about how some of the players such as Moreau were basically indentured servants because their parents had given them to the Moriyamas to pay off debts; Andrew suspected he’d done it more to convince Andrew to keep him from going back there than anything else.

“Yeah.” Kevin shook his head as the mug slipped from his hands. “I think… I think Nathaniel’s a bit like Riko. He can’t take over for Wesninski, so the Master found a use for him.” He frowned as he appeared to think of something. “Was gonna find a use for him. Oh, found him after all, yeah?”

Perhaps found him thanks to the shit Gordon had pulled, was more like it. Andrew had to wonder if ‘Neil’ hadn’t tried run after seeing Kevin, hence his disappearance, and then the Moriyamas had tracked him down thanks to the forum posts.

For a moment Andrew reflected on the possibility of someone having worse luck than him then scoffed. “Whatever, all that matters now is he’s there now. He’s there and you’re here.” He gave Kevin a cold smile as he gestured to the room around them. “He turned you down so he’s not our problem anymore.” As he spoke, he leaned forward. “Or are you under the mistaken belief that this is a halfway house for Raven runaways?”

Kevin stared at him for a couple of seconds before shaking his head. “He can’t… no, he can’t come here.”

“Then shut up already,” Andrew told him before moving to go sit down on the couch; he had enough of Exy for the day.

Kevin resumed watching the game while Andrew split his time between reading a book and watching Day, and amused himself with throwing pillows at the pain in the ass whenever he saw that dark head begin to nod or droop forward. One time he even startled Kevin enough to knock him out of the chair, a rare burst of amusement filling him at the sight of those long limbs flailing and loud curses filling the room.

Soon enough they had to get ready to leave for Raleigh, North Carolina, with Kevin being even more of a surly asshole than normal until they got on the bus where they could sleep for the drive. Andrew managed to get a little rest, and once Kevin hit the studio, he lost the zombie-like effect from too-little sleep to pull on his ‘charming’ fake persona which always made Andrew’s fingers twitch to slide free a knife and cut off that too-bright smile. Yet Kathy Ferdinand seemed to eat it up, to fawn all over Kevin, and soon she and her assistants took him back to get him ‘ready’ for the show.

Andrew wasn’t pleased with having Kevin out of his sight like that, but Kevin said the show was necessary, was important to give the Foxes some positive publicity, to highlight how far they’d come in a season and not let the Ravens overshadow them. To not let Riko win. Like Andrew gave a shit about any of that, especially when he could be in his own bed in Columbia at the moment, instead of sitting in an uncomfortable chair surrounded by a bunch of strangers with Renee on one side and Matt on the other.

At least Kevin was the first guest so they could leave once his interview was taped, though Andrew felt like gagging as he sat through Ferdinand acting like a bitch in heat with the way she kissed up to Kevin, laughing and smiling at everything he said. Andrew fought to sit still, to not get up and walk away, while Renee murmured to him that it would be just a little longer.

Then Ferdinand started in about Riko, about how hard it must be for Kevin to play on a new team without him, to see Riko move on with a new striker and everything. Kevin’s smile became a little strained but he kept his answers for the most part diplomatic (except for a dig at Seth), to attempt to distance himself from Riko and Edgar Allen. Except Ferdinand didn’t seem willing to let it go. She even asked Kevin about the school switching districts, to which Kevin proclaimed no knowledge to their reason why, the liar.

Andrew felt something twist inside of him at the way the woman smiled in anticipation just then, and Renee must have sensed something because she latched on to his right arm while calling out Wymack’s name. “Then I have a treat for you!” Ferdinand all but purred, right before the Edgar Allen’s fight song filled the studio.

*******

So, still have to edit H4. This weekend is REALLY busy, but I’m hoping things get better after Monday.

#tfc #aftg #raven!neil #wip

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