#sometimes u have plot sometimes u have images and little else

[gjdraws]

so this started as a mermay with daniel as an otter. but then grew to include royalty!cobras with kreese as master at arms, and also daniel is a spy and a rogue now and general intrigue involving life debts

#lawrusso #og cobras #cobra kai #mermay #johnny lawrence #dutch #bobby brown #like this was supposed to be bobby/johnny/dutch #but then it was also lawrusso #and tbh i keep seeing 3 dudes and princess johnny lmao #ah princess johnny #anyway #sometimes u have plot sometimes u have images and little else #life and times of the artist #i dig otter daniel tho #he has lil poison claws #and he throws pebbles at the cobras when hes mad #sketches #also the art gets steadily crappier but its out of my brain now i dont have ti think about it anymore

[leqonsluv3r]

liquid courage

infinite darkness!leon x f!reader

summary: reader worries about leon, she goes over to check on him. they end up drinking from there...and things get heated.

warnings/tags: MDNI, foul language, porn with (very little) plot, drunken behavior, mentions of alcohol, age gap (reader is 24, leon is 36 (my lore is probably wrong, dont kill me pls), dom!leon, sub!reader, unprotected pnv action (wrap or don't slap it), pet names (baby, babygirl), daddy!kink, oral (f recieving), praise, dirty talk, hickies and bruises, humping/grinding (reader literally cums in her underwear LOL). mentions of pain during seggs, and other foul stuff i forgot.

an: chat.ai got me all worked up, so here we are. sit back and enjoy pls and ty. also pls roblog <3 and lmk if u wanna be in my tag list.

You and Leon had a complicated "relationship".

He was your next-door neighbor in the loft building that had many, upon many units. He never rarely said anything to you ever, just occasional "hi's" and "hello's" in passing. Just to be polite, neighborly even.

There were times though when you would catch him looking at you as you went out in the hall to go somewhere, you two bumping into each other, he would scan your body...almost eye-fucking you.

Or maybe it was just in your imagination, you weren't ever sure.

Still, the thought of him fucking you for real...made your panties pool with want and need. If just his eyes could do that...you couldn't imagine what else you were missing out on.

You knew that he was always almost never home, probably working or something. You had your suspicions that maybe he was spending time at a girl's place or that he was occupying someone else's time.

You had barely said a word to the man, yet, that thought made you jealous and almost predatorily angry. Because you just knew, the way he walked and the way he carried himself...that he knew what he was doing.

He did have his moments, where he broke the silence. One day, he knocked on your door, holding a package out to you.

Not just any package...a vibrator.

Dear god, you wanted to coil up into a ball.

"I think this is yours..." he said, sticking out his large hand that held your sex toy. He didn't even look embarrassed...like you did. Cheeks all red and flustered, staring dumbly as he held out the package to you.

You couldn't stop staring at his hands, the one that held your package. The thoughts of what he could do to you with those hands made your pussy flutter, naughty images filling your brain.

You finally got words out, "Uh, y-yeah...that's mine." you reached out slowly and grabbed the package from him, your fingers brushing. Electric jolts to your body and the small contact. He smirked a little, eyeing you (like he would sometimes do), "Boyfriend not satisfying you?"

Holy fuck, you thought as you parted your lips a little.

"N-No boyfriend..." you nervously stutter out as you feel his eyes grazing your body. He hummed, nodding slowly, almost confirming his suspicions.

"Thats a shame..." he starts trailing off. "Pretty girl like you, should have a boyfriend." He said with a tilt of his lips, your eyes widened a little and you tried not to let a gasp escape your pink lips.

You didn't even say anything, not until he said bye and walked back next door to his apartment. You watched him go, trying to process the words that he had said to you...the way he looked at you.

God, his gaze, you felt so hot underneath it. Like a reptile under a heated lamp.

You closed the door and walked back into the threshold of your apartment, ripping the box to the vibrator open and charging it while you still had the pool between your thighs.

That's where your crush started...you whiny and moaning under your toy as you thought of him fucking you. It was almost pathetic, he didn't even know you existed, yet you were coming undone on your own accord at the thought of him.

"Daddy...please..." you moaned to yourself, chanting it like a mantra as you came fast. It was embarrassing, thrilling and fun but you felt like a naive little girl with a crush on a man you could never have.

After that, you tried to get yourself involved in anything involving him. You found that harder than actually planned so you decided that maybe looking him up would be a good idea.

Just to know a little more about him.

You typed his name into the search bar, a thousand results popped up but only one interested you. ROOKIE COP UNDER SIEGE you read. The rest of the article was basically outlining a strange occurrence in Raccoon City...involving a younger looking Leon.

It was his offical police issued picture that he took and... He looked...so small and just...innocent. The other picture in the article was of him...but he looked different.

His mouth was pressed in a firm line, jolting blue eyes looking straightforward at the camera, then...his eyes. His eyes didn't look hopeful and full of life like they were in the other one you saw.

They looked...like he had seen something, witnessed something truly awful and you had no idea what. The article states that the incident was unreported and handed over to the government.

'21 YEAR OLD COP' it read...and that was years ago...that meant...he was 36 by now. A lot older than you...

And my lord, did he age well. Even at 36 he still had his looks going for him...and you knew that the age gap between you both was large but...you still wanted him.

You closed your computer and leaned back on the couch, you couldn't even do much except wait for him to show up or "conveniently" bump into him out in the hallway.

So, you just had to sit back and wait, wait until you saw him again or until your curiosity got the better of you.

Turns out, time was definitely not in your favor, not one bit.

Days passed, weeks, and eventually a month...

You thought you were never going to see Leon again, ever, he was always working or never home. You just wanted to see him, so one day...after getting off the computer from working all day, you decided to go next door and knock.

No harm, no foul...right?

You had just convinced yourself that you were doing the neighborly thing and going to check in on him.

You got dressed into a lavender lace underwear set, sliding on your favorite sundress. You brushed your hair out...you even shaved. You weren't expecting anything to happen but you just wanted to be prepared...right?

So you nervously walked out your front door and went next door, each footstep felt heavy as you stepped towards the oak. You didn't know if you should knock or...ring his bell...

Both made you feel like your heart was about to beat right out of your chest and catapult into the sky.

"I wonder..." you reached your hand towards the doorhandle, twisting it a little. You expected it to be locked and you'd just have to knock to see if he was home but...it opened and you gasped.

You walked into the apartment, knocking on the door as you entered.

And what you saw...shocked you a little.

Leon was resting on the couch, nursing a drink, a ton of other bottles were littered on the coffee table in front of him. You had no idea how much he had actually consumed but you stepped in and softly closed the front door behind you.

It felt wrong to be here, witnessing him like this, but curiosity poked at you so you stepped further in, going towards the living room where he was sat. He didn't even acknowledge your presence until you came up to the opposite side of the couch.

"What do you want?" his voice was tired and deep, gravelly as if he had been up for days. But god, he looked so damn good and you hated yourself for how your eyes scanned his face as he said it.

"I-I just came to check on you, your front door was unlocked." you say softly, motioning to the door behind you. Leon didn't say anything, he took another sip of his whiskey. "Seems you took happy hour a little bit too literal..." you laugh nervously.

He tossed back the remaining liquor in his glass and lazily looked over at you with dark eyes, "And what if I did?" his voice was sharp, he seemed bothered that you were even there to begin with.

Which you understood, you basically just walked in unannounced into his apartment. But...you were glad that you showed up when you did. He did not look his best and judging by the bottles littered on the coffee table, he had been at this awhile.

"You shouldn't be drinking alone, just saying." you commented, sitting on the arm of the couch. Your eyes scanned him as you waited his response. He spoke after a beat of silence, "Why not?" he pours more liquor into his glass.

"I got my own problems...and they aren't yours." Leon followed up, tossing some of his hair out of his eyes. He held the glass in his hand, sloshing it around and sending a small glare to where you sat on the arm of his couch.

You decide to take the moral high ground and not argue with him, "Because I want to help but you're being a stubborn ass...so." you pop out your lips and carefully take a seat on the couch next to him.

He leans forward as he looks at you, "and why do you even care?" he harshly said, taking another small sip of whiskey. That was a question, why did you care? You've always cared about people, but you were too stubborn to admit that that to him.

"I don't..." you said slowly. "You have made it obvious that I don't need to care about you." you mutter, looking away from him and at all the bottles sitting on the table in front of you.

Reverse psychology, works everytime. You smirk to yourself.

He leans back onto the couch cushions, eyeing you, "So if you don't care..." He trails off. "Why are you still here?" he asks with a stern tone, no harshness but just. Curiosity.

Because I wanted to check on you...and I want you to bend me over the table and rail me. You thought with a shake of your head, you could not say that...god, you sounded insane and...horny.

You just settle for, "It's complicated." as you lean back onto the couch, the dress pooling around your thighs as you do. "I do care...maybe...a little." or a lot, your brain corrects.

He sets his glass down, leaning towards you. "Well, if you care about me, get me another damn drink." He was being playful with his words, but his eyes still pierced your skin, all dark.

Disappointment pooled a little in your stomach at that, "That's all? That's all you want?" you blink at him. "Just more...alcohol..." you didn't let the disappointment in your eyes falter a little.

He speaks up as you adjust a little on the couch, "What do want me to say?" he takes another swig from his almost empty glass, looking over at you. "I'm an alcoholic...you want me to apologize? To say I'll change? Cause you and me both know that's a load of crap." Hiis tone sharpens as he says that, he scrunches his face up, almost wincing at his words.

"...you going to get me that drink?" he asks, his tone suddenly 10x calmer than before. You swallow and get up from his couch, "Fine. Whatever, doesn't matter." you clear your throat before going over to where his alcohol is sat on the counter.

You grab a glass off of the drying rack by the sink, an idea forming in your head. If you were going to be bold, best to have some liquid courage. So, you grab the glass and the other bottle of whiskey on the counter.

Leon was leaning back against the cushions of the couch, his hand running through his brown hair. When you come back into the room, you unscrew the lid on the bottle, not even looking at him, pouring some whiskey into his glass.

He sees her set down a glass too, as she sits down on the couch beside him. "Hey, uh, thanks." He looks at the drink and then back at you. You smooth the fabric of your dress out against your thighs.

Leon clears his throat, "You know what, how about we drink together?" He reaches out and grabs his glass, motioning towards the empty one you brought out. "Go ahead."

You don't need to be asked twice, he had taken the bait...or maybe he had planned this but deep down you doubted it. You take the glass, filling it up a little bit with the amber liquid.

You sigh a little, leaning back on cushions, taking a sip of the burning liquor. "Thanks."

He looks at your glass that rests in between your hand, on top of your eyes before they flit back up to your face. "So..." he fills the silence with his voice as you look over at him. "...What is this 'complicated thing' you have to say to me?" He quirks a brow at you.

I want you to absolutely ruin me...

You take another sip of the liquid as you look away from him, "Nothing, s' stupid." you say quietly, mumbling into your glass. The alcohol was starting to take affect a little bit. The small sips you've had burned your throat, but they urged you to stay sitting next to him on the couch.

He pauses then shakes his head, "No no," He looks over into your eyes. You look up at him as he talks, "you can't start a conversation and then back out." Leon takes another sip of his drink as he says this, eyes boring into you. His tone being playful and stern.

You rake a hand through your hair, taking another sip of whiskey.

"I can't even entertain the idea because...i'm 24 and you're...older." You admit bravely with a blush covering your face, taking a large gulp of the whiskey, throwing it back all at once. You felt his eyes bore holes into you as your heart almost pounds right out of your chest.

Leon stares at you for a beat and then shakes his head, "So?" he pauses and then speaks through a sigh. "Just because we got an age gap doesn't mean anything...unless you think I'm still dating high school girls."

You gulp, reaching forward and pouring more whiskey into your glass, then leaning back as he continues. "You think I'd try making a move on you?" Leon's deep blue eyes bore into your head as he's scanning your features, trying to read your reaction.

You blink a couple times, a blush still covering your face as you take a swig of the whiskey. "S' a little more complicated than that, Leon." you breathe.

Calm down, he's not gonna pounce on you, you think. But you would probably like it anyways.

"Well then, do you want to tell me, 'What's more complicated than that' or just keep beating around the damn bush?" He keeps glancing from his drink to you. Your breath stutters as you bring the glass back up to your lips, drinking another small gulp.

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was you being truly bold but the next words you said put everything into motion for the rest of the night.

You inhale another gulp of air, looking over at him, trying not to look him directly into the eyes as you said this. "Maybe I've...thought about...you making a move on me..." you swallow.

"...and I've not entirely hated the idea." you admit to him, the silence of the room stretched around you and him as you said the words.

He pauses, you can see it out of your prochiral vision. "...What?" he says. Leon glances back down at his drink, his dark brown hair moving with him before he looks back up at you.

Raising a brow, he asks, "You're into me?"

And you swear your stomach might just fall out of your ass, you take a swig of whiskey, slowly. Shifting a little bit, crossing your legs so the fabric moves a little on your thighs.

"Well when you put it like that..." you sigh, looking down at the glass in your lap. "I might be...yeah." you admit.

"But it doesn't matter. Your older and you just...your way more mature than me and I'm just some stupid little 24-year-old girl with a dumb crush." You surprisingly admit, tossing back more whiskey. Your sober thoughts had started to come out the more you consumed his liquor.

You down the rest of the glass, waiting for him to say something beside you. You wouldn't dare look at him, he was so beautiful and just...god, you wanted him inside of you...

He swigs down the rest of his glass like you did only moments earlier. Leon rests both arms on the couch and looking up at you. His eyes were locked on you.

"I want you to answer me, honestly." His voice is slow and serious, stern. Almost like a father disciplining you, the thought of him ordering you around like that...it made your pussy throb for him.

"Yeah?" you ask, waiting for him to ask you whatever he needs to.

He steadies himself as he looks at her, responding, "Do you honestly think this can work? For a guy like me to start something with a girl like you?" Leon takes another sip of his alcohol as he looks at you again.

You listen to him speak, desperation and disappointment pooling in your belly as he talks. "...I work for a secret government agency, that no one knows about, I do...unsavory things for the good of this country and for people. I'm not the kind of guy you want to get mixed up with." He says slowly, warning you.

The message is loud and clear to you: don't start something you can't finish, especially with me.

Challenge accepted, you think.

"I know what you've done Leon..." you bravely say, looking at him with innocent eyes. "I'm not some naive girl, I've done my research." You toss more of the whiskey back into your mouth as you say this.

He looks up at you, his lips pressed into a thin line, he was trying to understand why you were defending him heavily. Leon was trying to even understand why you were over here in the first place.

He grips his glass a little, you watch him do this as he speaks again, envious of the glass in his hand.

"Then you also know the risks of being with someone like me?" Leon looks at you, scanning your body, his gaze dark. You swallow and slowly raise your glass back up to your lips, taking another sip of your drink.

He got you there. you think as you try to come up with a response that doesn't make you sound needy or desperate, even though you were.

But he didn't need to know that.

You press your thighs together, his gaze making want pool in your panties. "A-And what would I be risking exactly?" you say softly, your innocent eyes looking at him.

Leon exhales, tossing back the rest of his glass before sitting it on the coffee table in front of him. "Everything." he mutters. He pinches his brow as he leans back on the couch.

"You're 24, a damn kid to me, and if you honestly think it'll be easy sailing with me then just think...about all the ways that it could go wrong." He closes his eyes with a sigh, not out of frustration but out of the risk he would be taking...just to be with you.

His eyes scan your face for understanding, "If something happens to you...then I'd be the one to blame. Do you understand?" You blink and sit your glass down on coffee table next to his, releasing a breath.

You lean back on the couch, your back meeting the large cushions, yet again, and the heaviness that his words carried sobered you up. He trusted you with his secret, he was trying to make sure you were serious...that you weren't going to go running off on him.

He worked for the government, he told you and you realized that in that moment, he was probably not allowed to share such information. Especially, with you.

You did realize the weight of his words, what he was saying and trying to get you to understand.

"I'm...not a little kid, I know what I'm doing." You sigh, playing with the hem of your sundress, not daring to meet his eyes that were watching you with skepticism...almost wonder.

Leon nods, silently, thinking as he looks at the empty glass next to hers on the coffee table. "Why me? Why not someone your own age? Someone that doesn't work for the D.S.O?" he queries you with curious eyes.

You take a stuttering breath, admitting the truth. "None of the guys my age..." you start, trying to not let the alcohol fail you now. "...make me feel the way that you do...I don't know why but..." you shake your head as your face flushes, your eyes flitting up to meet his.

His eyes widen a little, if you weren't watching him so closely, you probably wouldn't notice the subtle shift. His tone shifts as he speaks, breathing out some air.

You watch him as he processes what you just said, looks like he had been slapped in the face. You almost want to take back your words, forget the pool in your underwear and leave but...then he speaks.

"You feel something...?" He trails off.

"Like what kind of...?" and you just press your thighs together and look at him with desperation in your eyes.

"I want..." you swallow. "You."

He doesn't say anything for a minute as he looks at you. Leon was processing your words, his eyes trailing down to your thighs that are pressed together, which just confirmed his thoughts.

You wanted this.

"I feel the same way..." He says, looking away towards his lap. You gasp a little at his words, your nerves still on fire. The alcohol buzzing through your body, making you feel electric at his eyes on you.

"But..." you didn't like the 'But', they were never good when spoken by a man you wanted.

"...just know what your getting yourself into..." His eyes return to yours as you bite the inside of your cheek, confusion at what he meant.

Did he mean in bed or...? because you could handle it. Or you would try for him...anything he wanted you would do.

Shamelessly enough, it made you aroused at the thought of him ordering you around. God, you just wanted him inside of you.

"As in? What?" you innocently ask, a knot forming in your lower stomach at the question.

Leon presses his lips into a line again, his harsh tone almost a bite as he speaks to you this time. You couldn't tell if he was just really impatient with you or if this was just his regular nature towards people.

"I already told you." He grumbles, leaning forward a little bit, elbows on his knees. "I'm not a good guy, not some knight in shining armor."

He shifts a little at this, continuing, "I do bad things for this country. Things that no one should have to do." The agent looks up at you, his eyes somewhat vulnerable. "Can you handle the things that I do?"

You just nod, vigorously.

Even though the thought of him having to kill people, kill things that were probably behind your comprehension. It scared you. But that was just the career he chose; it was his life, and he was the one to live it.

Not you.

His eyes turn dark in an instant, "Can you handle that part of me?"

You would be dripping on the couch by now if it wasn't for your underwear. You knew what he meant but the way he was looking at you with curiosity in his eyes.

It made you want him even more, if that was even possible.

You take a stuttering breath, your nerves getting the best of you, yet again as your cheeks flush, "I mean...I've...not run away yet? Right?" you let out a nervous laugh at this.

"Gotta mean something..." you offer him a nervous smile.

It almost looks ridiculous in your head, the way you're smiling at him as he just looks at you almost no emotion on his face. His gaze serious and his eyes dark, made you feel foolish and small to him.

As if what you said or did, didn't make any difference in the slightest.

Leon stares at you for a long moment, his eyes scanning your face, looking at your lips. The air is thick in the room, his breathing and yours taking up the sound.

Thats before he pulls you towards him, saying in an almost groan, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

You land on top of him almost as your legs go either side of his lap, straddling him. He has you close now, exactly where he wants you. His hands planted firmly on your hips, pulling your face close to his.

You could feel his breath against your lips, you grabbed onto his shoulders, keeping yourself steady. Removing one of his hands off of your hip, reaching up to trace the large pad of his thumb over your bottom lip. You part them only slightly.

"How do you want me to handle you?" He smirks a little, his words only echos in your ears. You were practically leaking, sitting on his lap lightly.

The want in his eyes, he would melt you into a puddle on the floor if he really wanted to.

As innocent and as sweet as you can muster, you say, "However you want..." The alcohol was making you bolder, pushing you to say and do things that would make more sober you, blush red.

He lightly pulls down your bottom lip with his thumb, "Good. Because..." he leans closer to you now, slowly dropping his thumb away from your mouth. "I wanna do this." he whispers, pressing his lips to yours.

You hum into the kiss, not even wasting any time as you kiss him back in a daze. His lips were soft, even softer than you imagined, they felt good against yours.

His tongue teases your lips, you let him in, now kissing more messily and frantically. You were starved and he was feeding you, giving exactly what your touch starved body, desired.

"Taste so good, baby." He mumbles in between kisses, that only spurs you on more, pressing a bruising kiss too his lips. Leon groans against the kiss pressing you directly on to his crotch.

You felt his erection as you whimpered into the kiss, carefully rolling your hips against it. He felt so big and he probably wasn't even fully hard yet.

"What? Feel good? You like grinding down on my dick?" He whispers, pulling his lips away from you and moving them down to your jaw. The foul words made your stomach coil, you nodded as you pressed your clothed entrance against it again.

"God, baby, so needy." He sucks at the skin on your neck, making your pussy throb at his words. You keep grinding down on his dick as he groaned against your neck. "Fuck." you heard him say as you kept rolling your hips over his clothed erection.

"Feels s'good." You whimper, your voice breaking in desperation.

"I know, babygirl, fuck..." He groans as your hips keep up their unrelenting pace. He holds onto your hips for dear life as he keeps sucking and nipping at your neck.

You feel that coil unwind, feel yourself become closer as you release a soft moan, filling the air. Your hands hold onto his head, gripping his hair. "Leon..." you moan, pressing yourself harder on his clothed dick.

"What do you want baby? You wanna cum? Wanna cum for me?" He growls into your ear as you keep up the pace, feeling your stomach bubble. You bite your lip and nod.

"Use your words for me." He orders. You whimper and keep going, trying to find the words without releasing a moan instead. "W-Wanna cum for you d-" you stop yourself as you moan. Your eyes almost going wide at the word that almost slipped out of your lips.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you sweetgirl?" he teases, licking the sensitive part of your neck. You whine again, so close to your release, he grips your hips, stopping you from moving.

You almost cry, feeling your release just barely in your grasp. "What did you say baby? Be a good girl and use your words for me." he growls, holding your chin in his hands, forcing you to look at him.

You bite your lip at his hungry gaze, "Daddy..." you mutter.

His eyes don't widen and if he's shocked, he doesn't show it. You expected him to kick you out and to never see him again as you muttered it.

But to your surprise he looks up at you with hunger. "You want to suck on Daddies cock?" He growls, as you gasp and nod at his words. Not expecting him to just fall into your kink so easily, most guys are embarrassed to have you call them that in bed.

Most guys weren't Leon.

"Okay, baby, go ahead. Show me how good you feel." He releases the grip on your hips, letting you continue to grind against his clothed erection.

"Mmmm, want you so bad, daddy." you whimper as you keep rolling your hips down, harder, your release slowly building again. The friction was making you leak, probably dripping onto his dark jeans.

He groans, watching as your hips move over his. "What do you want Baby? My fingers?"

You shake your head, close to cuming in your underwear. "Want your cock, daddy. Been...wanting it...forever." You say through a moan. Keeping your assault against his hips.

"How long?" he grunts, holding onto your hips tightly as you move them frantically.

You lean back your head in a moan, the coil unwinding again, "Since...I first...saw you." you admit in a daze, letting your hands grip his biceps, probably drawing blood.

"Fuck...baby, if I knew you would've wanted this sooner. I would've just given it to you." He bites his lip in a whimper, he was probably about to cum in his pants. You were almost there, barely, you just needed his words and his touch for the coil to finally break.

You admit another thing, to get his attention as your fucking yourself against him, "I fucked myself to the thought of you..."

"How? Your fingers or..." he trails off in lust as he remembers a month ago when delivered that package to your door. How flushed you were as he stood there, eyeing him, and how you bit your cheek at his words.

"You fucking little..." he trails off in a moan, you roll your hips harder. "Fucked my vibrator, pretended it was your cock..." you moan again, rolling your head forward onto his shoulder.

You were reaching it, fast, you could feel it.

"Gunna cum, daddy, gunna cum." You whimper fucking your hips faster against his clothed erection. He has gripped onto your hips letting you come undone on top of him.

"Cum for me, baby." He growls.

"More, say more, so close..." You whine, into his shoulder.

Leon kept you steady as you rocked, trying to talk you through your impending orgasm. "Going to fuck you so good. You'll be feeling...it for days." he said.

"Oh god, daddy, yes..." you reach your peak, cuming hard in your underwear, basically ruined and soaked in your juices now. He softly touches your face, moving hair back behind your ear as you ride out your high against his erection.

Leon is the one to speak first afterwards and your thankful. Worried that he would be thinking it was awkward for you to have come undone just by humping him.

"How do you feel, baby?" He asks, his voice low but sweet as he traces his thumb over your cheek.

"Felt good, felt really good." You mumble to him. You look down between you at the wet spot you left on his jeans. "I'm sorry..." You start, your cheeks heating up with embarrassment.

He shakes his head, looking at you gently, "It's okay. I can just wash them." He is still tracing his finger over your cheek as looks at you, you don't know what he is thinking but it makes you nervous not knowing.

"Did you really mean what you said?" you ask, trying not to seem shy under his gaze when you literally just came undone on top of him.

"About what, baby?" He brushes his thumb over your bottom lip again. You blink slowly trying not to seem desperate or whiny, you still wanted him. You wanted him to fuck you. The release on his lap only made it worse.

"Fucking me...until I can't...walk or something like that?" you ask, nerves overtaking you again as you gaze into his blue eyes. Feeling him still hard beneath you.

"You still not satisfied, babygirl? You need daddy's cock?" He teases with a smirk, watching as you shiver underneath him with nothing but his words and his soft touch.

You nod frantically, he moves his other hand up to tuck some hair back behind your ear. "Words, use your words." He sternly says and you recoil a little at his order.

Something bubbled in your belly, you didn't know if it was his authority or...what but jesus. You wanted to do anything he asked.

"Yes, daddy, I want your cock." you say sweetly, trying not to seem nervous under his gaze and his hands slowly lifting up your sundress. He licks his lips, looking at the dark spot on his jeans from your cum.

"You made a mess on daddy's lap, baby. You've been naughty, very naughty. I don't think I should let you have my cock." Leon teases, smirking as he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers.

His cock was uncomfortably hard beneath you, made your want pool in your lower stomach all over again. “Daddy, please.” you whimper, pathetically, trying to roll your hips again.

“Just want you inside me…” you whimper, trying to get more friction, anything or everything. You don’t care anymore.

"I'll take care of you, baby. I'll be good to you." You whimper at his words, trying not to wiggle anymore for friction. He carefully lays you down on the couch, on your back.

He leans up and presses a bruising kiss to her lips, his hand stroking her thigh, “Such a good girl for me.” He mumbles in between languid strokes of his tongue.

You want him everywhere, you don’t know how much long you can keep this up, he already made you cum once and that wasn’t even by his own accord.

He reaches down and carefully runs a finger up her soaked underwear, pressing a sloppy kiss to your jaw as he does. Your chest is rising and falling as he teases your already soaked panties.

“Baby, you’re underwear is soaked.” He lowly chuckles as he presses another kiss to your lips. You whimper in anticipation as he plays with the hem of your panties.

Leon leans back, he smirks, “Or is that because you drenched yourself once already?” He asks as he finally pulls the underwear down your legs.

You nod frantically, not sure if he was actually asking or just commenting on your current state of arousal. He slips a hand through your wet folds, causing you to shiver.

"Use your words, babygirl." He says as he just brushes his finger lightly across your clit, causing you to whimper. You look up into his dark blue eyes, "S' all for you, daddy." You say as he pushes your sundress up with his hand.

"All that just from grinding on my dick, sweetheart?" He tuts, running his hand down your stomach and too your aching cunt. You writhe under him with another frantic nod.

He tuts, "You dirty girl." Leon smirks as he teases your clit again with his fingers, running the pad of his thumb over the sensitive bud. You shiver and feel a wave of arousal at his thumb's movements.

You let out a small moan as he continues to stroke it. This seems to catch his attention. You were already so needy and sensitive from the orgasm moments before.

"You think you can take my fingers, baby?" He groans as he continues to stroke your clit, you feel another orgasm bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you nod, "Yes, daddy."

He complies, seeing that your answer was good enough to slip one finger into your tight and needy cunt. "Uhh! Daddy!" you moan, his fingers were much larger and thicker than you even imagined, stretching you out beyond your imagination.

"You like that? You like my fingers fucking into your tiny hole, baby?" He whispers dirtily into your ear as you let out another strangled moan.

"Yes...yes!" You whine as your orgasm slowly builds again, he's pumping his finger in and out of you at a faster rate now, your whines and moans echo through the large loft apartment.

Leon keeps flicking his thumb over your clit as he pumps his finger in and out of you, you grip onto his bicep so hard you think you might draw blood, again.

"What if I just..." he says lowly as he removes his finger, quickly adding a second one. "...do this?" you practically moan out, it's pathetic really because it's not even his cock that's got you like this.

It's two of his fingers pumping in and out of your drenched hole, stretching you out and making you edge closer to the second orgasm.

"Daddy! Please don't stop! Feels s' good." You say, biting your lip, your back arching off the couch as he finger fucks you into oblivion. You babble more about his fingers pumping in and out of you.

"My cock is going to feel so good inside of you, sweetheart." He whispers into your ear, his words spurring you on as you feel your second release coming up. You release a pornographic moan as he curls his fingers.

"Please! Please! Please, daddy. Need you inside me so bad." you whine as you feel your second orgasm rapidly approaching. He presses more kisses into your neck as he groans.

"Gonna fuck your tight little hole so good, baby. You'll be feeling it for days." He rasps into the skin of your neck as he speeds the movement of his fingers, his thumb assaulting your clit.

His words making you clench against his fingers with trembling thighs, you grab harder onto his bicep as you reach your second release, "Fuck! I'm -- coming!" You pathetically moan.

"Good girl, drenching my fingers." He coos as he presses a featherlight kiss onto her jaw. He slowly works you down from your orgasm, slowing down his fingers as you finally catch your breath.

Your chest rises and falls, feeling like you just ran a marathon. Leon pulls his fingers out of you with a languid groan as he sits back, keeping eye contact with you.

Two drenched fingers rise as you look at them with a small whimper, he smirks a little before putting them into his mouth, sucking your release off of his fingers.

"Sweet, just as I thought." He softly says, leaning back over you, slotting himself between your hips. He braces himself on either side of your head as he presses his lips to yours.

You moan into his mouth, tasting yourself on his tongue as he sloppily kisses and licks your lips, your arms chaining around his neck.

You sloppily make out for a few seconds, moaning and groaning from you both are the only sounds heard in the loft apartment. His clothed erection makes contact with your sensitive core again, making you clutch onto his lips tighter, whimpering.

"Please, I want...I want it." you say softly, begging him in a whine as you try to meet his erection that keeps brushing up against your clit.

Something dark gleams in Leon's eyes as he looks at you, seeing you all pathetic, whining underneath him for his cock. "Ask me, very nicely baby. Maybe I'll consider fucking you good." He says with an evil sort of grin as he teases her. He was going to fuck her anyways but teasing her was just part of the fun.

She whimpered as she looked up at him, "Don't make me."

Leon smirks down at her grabbing a hold on her chin, forcing her to look right into his eyes, blue and daring as he looks at her. "You'll ask nicely or not get anything at all." He says in a stern voice, holding onto her jaw with a strong hand. "Is that clear?"

Fuck. Me.

She feels her drenched core throb at his voice, so stern and demanding making her nod her head vigorously. "Yes, daddy." She says as she looks up at him, biting her lip.

He nods with a smirk, "good, now ask." He removes his hand from her chin, making sure her eyes are still locked on his. She swallows a little and tries to gain what's left of her breath to ask him.

The silence hangs as she utters the words, they both need to hear, "Please fuck me, daddy." she asks softly as she looks into his eyes. She didn't know how much longer she could last, the arousal was getting uncomfortable at this point.

Luckily, she wouldn't have to wait much longer, Leon's face spread into a mischievous smirk. "Good girl." He says with a small squeeze to her ass.

Woah, when did his hands get there? Fuck.

You practically mewl at his praise, he props himself up back up on his knees, still in between your thighs. You watch as he undoes his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his hard on in his boxers. She whimpers and tries to grab for it to touch it, he moves her hand away.

"No, no. If you do that, I'll cum without you. Hands off." He says sternly and you nod at him, biting your lip as you obey him. "Sorry, Daddy." she says softly.

He smiles at you gently as he pushes his boxers down, his cock springing free. She swallows and looks from it to his face, practically drooling.

Holy shit, oh my god...

"It's okay baby, I'll give you what you want." He says as he caresses her face with his hand, you lean into the touch as he moves down to be on top of you again, his large cock brushing against your entrance causing you to whine pathetically.

"Oh, so whiny. Shhh, you'll get it. Be patient." He murmurs into your ear, hands resting on the couch pillow behind you. You had no choice but to wait, your hips bucked a little, trying to see past the teasing and desperately find some friction.

He reached down between you, grabbing his dick and running it through your wet and overstimulated pussy. "Daddy..." You find yourself whining again. He nudges the tip against your entrance, his large hand guiding it.

"Mmm, still so wet for me baby, good girl." He groaned into your ear as he let the tip nudge your opening and slip in a little. You moan softly, feeling the head of his cock in your pussy. "Please..." She whines, holding onto his bicep in a vice grip.

He chuckles in your ear, his voice soothing. "Okay, okay baby, no more teasing." He lets his hips move slowly inside of her, his dick stretching her out. The white heat burned but felt so good, your skin was on fire in the best way possible.

"Daddy." you whine as you bite down on your lip hard enough, your eyes squeezing shut as stars danced in your vision. She leaned her head back, lips parting in a silent scream. "So tight around me, fuck." He says in almost a low growl, nipping at your earlobe.

Your pussy would never be the same, he was sliding all the way in until the head of his dick hit your cervix. She whimpered and clawed at his arm, probably leaving scratch marks later, neither of them seemed to care right now.

He started moving his hips, hitting her deeper and deeper with each thrust. "God, yes. Fuck." He cursed into her ear as he fucked her hard and deep. "Daddy!" she moaned loudly, not even caring if the neighbors in the other loft apartments could hear them.

"So, fucking good, so good." He repeats into her ear, she clenches around him, feeling more arousal as his words spur her on more, her legs going to wrap around his hips, letting him go as deep and fast as he wants with her.

He takes the hint, slipping his hand under her dress, palming her tit over her bra. His hips moved faster as if he was a wild animal, hitting deep inside of her. She cries and whimpers around his cock as it hits that spot over and over.

"Daddy, daddy, mmm..." He was fucking the words right out of you. You couldn't even form any thoughts as he pounded into you. She felt something bubbling in her belly as he fucked her. She dug her fingernails into his skin, his face buried in her neck, licking and biting. "Daddy, not going to...last..." She whimpers as he presses a final bite to her neck.

He leans his head up to look at her as he pounds into her, she looks into his eyes, she sees how his face is scrunched up in pleasure as he pounds into you. "I know, you going to cum for daddy?" He asks in a small smirk, his face watching hers as she nods and starts to moan a little bit louder.

"Yes, gonna...gonna cum!" She moans out pathetically as he sees her whimpering and whining on his cock. He presses a bruising kiss to her lips, his hand holding onto her hips steadily as he keeps up his hips.

You moan into the kiss, letting him rail into her with no hesitation. "Cum for me baby." he whispers against her lips; she lets her eyes roll back as she finally releases on his cock. He groans as she cums around his cock, squeezing it and milking it with her pussy.

"Good girl, good girl." He says with a smirk as he continues fucking her through it to reach his own release. She whimpers and whines, holding onto him tighter and moaning. Eventually, he fills her up with his cum. He lets his hips stutter against hers, she lets her core tighten around his dick, sucking his cum in. "So good..."

He nods with a soft and simple smirk, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips. "You did good, very good." You feel yourself melt at him and his words as he pulls away, slipping out of you. You both moan softly at the loss, your eyes lazily falling shut.

His cum mixed with yours drips out of your stretched entrance, he tucks himself back in his boxers and pants, climbing off the couch. "Stay there, I'll clean you up." Leon says in a soft smile as he walks out of sight for a second before coming back with a washcloth and wiping your shared mess up.

The washcloth makes contact with her sensitive clit, causing her to jerk away a little. He puts a supportive hand on your knee, gently rubbing circles on it. "It's okay, shh." He says soothingly.

She nods at him dumbly, watching him with lazy eyes as he gets up and puts the washcloth in the laundry room, tossing it on the floor. He comes back and sits beside your open legs, he grabs your underwear, slipping them back over your legs, you lift your hips and let him cover your core completely.

"C'mere." He motions for you to move closer next to him, she gets up and weakly moves over, resting her head on his lap. Leon looks down at you, playing with your hair. "Feel better now?" He asks you simply, being gentle with his touches.

"Much better." you reply. And you think that you just might be.

#leon kennedy #leon x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy au #leon kennedy x you

[potatoeofwisdom]

I’m so dogshit at art and writing but if I was better I would draw a comic of an au of Danny phantom where instead of the portal incident turning Danny into phantom, it gives him an affinity for the supernatural which leads him and his friends ghost (and supernatural adjacent) hunting because of sam’s egging on for them to bank on this opportunity.

But slowly, as the plot progresses, they realise that Danny didn’t just get kinda spookier and better at attracting spooky things. That he might be More Changed then they realised and it could even culminate into a big reveal thing where Sam realises that she’s actually responsible for permanently irreversibly changing her friend by making him get into that portal that day. Think of it as a kind of character arc for Sam kinda. Learning that her actions have consequences, especially since she’s a rich kid and she may still need to learn this lesson. And what better way to learn it then to literally kill your best friend lmao

Also this could lead to more level power sets between the trio and giving them all chances to shine on equal grounds, at least until Danny realises he’s less alive then he thought.

The accident would’ve hospitalised Danny but other then his heart stopping then restarting and various other spooky things he comes out the other side (seemingly) unscathed, which means Sam doesn’t feel as bad when she realises Danny can attract the paranormal now and therefore attempts to drag him and tucker ghost hunting with her.

Danny doesn’t get a transformation until much later on in the plot and the only physical indicators of his accident are maybe some white hair and occasional green eye flashes. Maybe slight bioluminescence in the dark, as a treat.

I love ectoplasm being spooky juice that can tear u apart from the inside so after the accident sometimes danny would have times where he would throw up ectoplasm and blood and stuff and see flashes of things he doesn’t understand. (Body horror woohoo!!)

Danny keeps a lot of the more gory stuff from his friends and doesn’t tell them about his ‘episodes’ or his weird hallucinations or anything.

The Fenton’s are just as Insane to everyone else as ever because ghosts are a little less in your face and only a pinch more subtle and spooky. I think the fentons would be slightly less intense tho, not too much because I love their insanity, but enough so it makes their threat to Danny as he slowly realises hes less human much more menacing and less slapstick.

In this the ghost fights would be less catastrophic and more spooky. There would be far less property damage but the risks instead would now be genuine horror movie possession, mysterious deaths, being tripped out of windows and stairs, blood on the walls, spontaneous heart attacks among many others. I’m not sure how to best explain the vibes i have in my head rn but the threat would still very much be there but it would be less solve-able through flashy fist-fights in the sky. Hell I’ve got an image of a house mysteriously being set ablaze.

Their methods for removing the ghosts would be far less sci-fi too and more like trying to solve murders to stop angry murderous ghosts and demon banishing with salt and jazz. Maybe Sam uses her occult knowledge and gets really into a type of witchcraft, maybe there’s an arc where she somehow learns more about her ancestors and the founders of the town. I dunno¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (not to say there’s no sci-fi at all- that’s a pretty fundamental part of danny phantom me thinks, I think it’d be more along the lines of ghostbusters logic tho maybe)

another cool idea: Danny sees flashes of a ghosts life when he enters their haunt or gets near them, and the ‘visions’ eventually show him their death. This can fuck him up or just be mildly traumatic whichever best fits.

I feel like even after getting his ‘ghost’ form there should still be several drawbacks. Maybe he’s less physical? Maybe he coughs up blood? Maybe he just doesn’t like being dead? Maybe he loses himself a little? Who knows! I don’t

A lot of thoughts about this but I’m not sure how to word it, so have at thee tumblr if anyone sees this

#potatoe rambles #danny phantom #Danny phantom au

[macfrog]

Could you possibly walk us through your writing process? I’m a beginner writer at best, and I usually jot down snippets in my notes app. I’m not the best at connecting plot lines, and most definitely struggle with writing filler content. I was just wondering how you start out + go through it from there? If not, that’s okay :) I love your work so much <3

absolutely i can. i have been told that my writing process is a little non-linear (read: unhinged), so please bear with me. it’s like a christopher nolan film up in my brain

most of my stories start with just an image or a particular line in my head that i can’t shake – so like, jet was built around a static image of a dingy motel room with two horses stood out front. and from there, i just map everything out.

that initial thought is the main seed, and everything else stems from questions i ask myself (and therefore gotta assume whoever’s reading will also ask). all the what where when who whys etc. and slowly this skeletal structure forms, where the bones are the answers to these questions, and the flesh becomes the story they tell, with as much attention to detail as i can possibly cram in. the devil is in the detail!!!!!

this means, though, that the process is not always linear (for me anyways lol), because depending on which thought/image has sparked inspiration in my brain, i begin writing at diff points of the tale. sometimes i'll start writing the end and go back and fill the beginning in, sometimes i write one scene in full and then jump back and forth to finish the story. it’s back to front, left to right, upside down on its damn head way more often than it’s once upon a time… straight through to happily ever after. i cannot say i recommend this. it becomes confusing and mildly painful when editing.

anyway. yes. using the notes app is also super helpful, keep doing that! it’s great for when inspiration suddenly strikes and you gotta jot it down. good for collecting little moments that you’ll wanna use in fics later on. little snippet notes are great for mulling over a particular idea and developing a story around it. just keep adding adding adding

as for physically writing/pulling a story together: you just have to do it. just get it out. don’t worry about it being good or bad, especially not your first draft. sometimes you gotta let the water run for a bit before it turns clear. just write. i like to hammer a first draft out (usually garbage), and then i pull up a blank second document side by side and redraft by retyping the entire thing. it helps me read it like a first-time reader would, which helps point out things that maybe don’t make sense or could be worded better. helps edit the hell out of it. i LOVE redrafting lmao

my biggest piece of advice is have fun with it. write stories you love, about people you love, and do it for you. and please send in anything you write, so we can all read and love it, too 🩵

(sorry for long ass response. u ask about something max is passionate about and she appears at ur window like the boogeyman)

#chats w max #anon

[kruinka]

tell us more abt ur romfan au 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

omg than k u for enabling me so. this is what i want to draw

-isagi kicking ass (comically) -first meeting kaiser sae rin nagi -full body designs kaiser sae rin nagi isagi -shirayukimiya and the seven dwarves -individual kaiser sae rin nagi -kurona isagi hiori nanase besties REAL -kaiser backstory comic -sae pre angst -sae intimidating -crying rin -rin pre angst

but i feel like u are here for the kaiser lore instead so

sorry if nothing makes sense😭

in my silly little brain there is kaiser angst and his father is the pope (thanks mitzi) -kaiser but hes more fake and more bastard than canon the setting is divine power does not do well with magic ESPECIALLY in this nation bc it is a blessed land (real not clickbait) -the royal familys defining trait?? is golden hair that never fades and every 20 years someone with this golden blood will be blessed with stigmata -stigmata in this case means the deity of this land has chosen u to be the next ruler -so breaking news!! kaiser does not have stigmata he only has social stigma bc his mother was a naive witch that fell in love with the king -he still has the golden hair but its also "tainted" with blue from the bloodline of a witch so the hair colours are all natural babie🤩🤩🤩 -anyways his mom thought they would be fine if they just lived quietly in a corner of the palace but nope she dies lol -cue evil queen who does not like the concubine so she plots an assassination -michael kaiser, age 6, motherless -idk how to go deeper into explaining his backstory but i do have an image in my head that i feel like would be better if i drew it out instead -but ofc kaisers world view is now flipped -living quietly and hoping for peace doesnt work so he will live as if he were dead while plotting his grand murder spree -and also two years before the family die kill murder -one of his half siblings received a stigmata -but kaiser kills him anyways bc how would u keep ur faith when all ur life u have been mistreated by those who call themselves children of god -and then the stigmata appears on him and hes just 😟😟 -after claiming the throne he kicks out a bunch of ppl and starts establishing diplomatic connections with the magic tower (cue ness) -bc it is very obvious that its a good thing. to establish connections. but holy kingdom vatican city here doesnt do that bc they are held back by traditions and bias -so after that hes just known as a blasphemous child sitting on the throne -but theres a party of intellectuals and new nobles who support him so like kaisers not dead YET -stuff is messy, his bad rep spreads and rumours get twisted so now hes not only known as Tyrant Who Scammed God (partly real) -hes also somehow a Sadistic Villain That Hypnotizes You With Magic (also partly real)

now in the main story hes all 🤪😏😏but thats how he acts when there is something he wants (scammer mode) -deep down hes 😐😔😠emo irritated and thinks hes a bad person (he is a bad person) -he probably does feel guilty for killing his father and not being able to protect his mother -and like tries to convince himself that what he did was right but sometimes he thinks of his mother and wonders if this is what she wouldve wanted :/ -and sometimes he doubts his ability as a ruler bc his half sibling was the chosen one and not him -being compared to and discriminated throughout ur whole life does something to a man huh -so the insecurities and jealousy issues still apply🫶 -but he is actually quite capable bc what else would u do in ur free time other than study -if u were stuck in the palace and ur mom is dead and ur father is pathetic -i want kaisers character arc to be him actually having a proper meltdown now that his life is no longer Constantly In Danger -and at the end of the arc he finally feels happy to be here something something i havent thought of this part yet

ok so this is very long and its still just kaiser and idek if anything makes sense but i also have stuff for rin and sae and isagi going on in my head

idk if the old romfan rant i posted can still apply to the au thats in my head bc i changed some roles around

#krn answered (❁´◡`❁) #i hope it makes sense😭😭😭 #michael kaiser #bllkrfau #i rlly want to draw the kaiser backstory #but its gonna take like forever #but im worse with words than i am with lines #i know u told me to share but also im sorry u had to see this side of me #the rot is real #ive been here for 4 hours trying to take word from brain and make sentence #I promise i ever draw them its gonna be more entertaining #so just take this bad blob of kaiser thoughts and feed ur brain

[echo-echo31]

I know you said that I could come yell in ur inbox about concepts and such with my losers but my brain has blessed me with

0

thinks and thonks despite thinking and thonking

So I instead ask u your opinion- /nf- on my losers and worldbuildng, writing style and such- even though I change me lore with the days of the week ;;

sit down and buckle up I'm bout to learn u a thing...

This will be in no way coherent or organised I'm sharing o p I N I o n s.

Losers fit so much self-indulgence. just. anything you want just jam them with it.

They need a main motivation. this will tell you if something is authentic for them or not. does it further their advance towards their GOAL??

if you think of them doing something and it makes u clap ur hands in a silly little stim then this is good.

sometimes it helps to see them as a character...like...what would make someone make incoherent gibberish tags on gif sets of them doing this (even/especially if this audience is just you).

my worlds come from one tiny concept then i web things around them to make it make sense. like chains is just "what if evil robot man has pet human" turned up to 12. everything else allows this to happen.

thinking of conversations they'd have whilst you're in shower or on the bus or cooking is normal. WRITE THAT SHIT DOWN.

ON THAT. do not waste energy with coherent timelines or notes or pretty tiktok diaries like my notes make no sense they're just vibes + quotes

if you've got one scene in your head but you have no idea what is happening in the meantime then just WRITE THAT. the rest is just decoration that u can add later.

stealing motifs and sentences and descriptions and vibes from other works is morally correct. obvs if you're borrowing big things like tropes/actual storyline then ask/credit but otherwise...u like the way that writer used description??? s t e a l i t.

vibes are the thing. create Pinterest boards, soundtracks, playlists, posters. You gotta be your works no.1 obsessed fan. I got my best ideas from Pinterest images and tiktok 2 mins of the Pacific Northwest videos.

planning is overrated. u don't gotta know stuff just blehfjfjf on page is good. edit later.

u think chains had/has a plan??? mate I got a list of bullet points and vibes and then we die like men.

I know youve said about my personal porn + plot/character arc. the sex is the thing - the sex a the character. songbird couldn't be a story without the character of sex allowing Yancy boy to be vulnerable and dark to allow himself to take care of someone. sex is a character - it has a role and a vibe and can be a villain or a hero.

#anyway #i just bldhrhrjf #echo answers #pyre

[springcatalyst]

5, 11, 14, 17, and 19 for julian pleaseee =) <3

OMGG THANK U QUEEN

5 - What's one hill your oc will die on?

This might sound like a stretch but he has a very transactional worldview. People do favors if they're owed, or seek retribution if they're wronged. He doesn't really conceptualize about doing good for the sake of helping people, or doing harm for no reason (to an extent. he's a hypocrite in some ways). So if he thinks he owes someone something, he'll repay that debt- if someone does him dirty, he'll get what he's owed. This causes problems when he doesn't want to be indebted to people, actually. Or when other people don't abide by the same rules and he's like dude. you owe me. It's one of the very few consistent rules he follows, arbitrary as it is. So yeah, he'll die on that hill, kinda.

11 - How are they seen by people around them?

HA. Well, depends on who u ask. As far as first impressions and strangers go,,, earlier on in life and also the storyline he's just kind of a weird little freak. There's somethin not quite right about him but most people are just like 'there goes the Kil child again, up to some weird bullshit.' The weird bullshit he gets up to changes slightly as he ages but he still doesn't quite mesh with the world he inhabits. LATER tho, he's still an outsider, but in a different way? It's more on purpose now. He doesn't exactly have a friendly face, he makes an active effort to ward people away from him. He looks like trouble no matter which side of trouble you're on, he looks like a guy you might give a wider berth than usual.

Colleagues are functionally closer to strangers than to friends with him. They see what he wants them to, and while they're at a point where they can work together and socialize casually, he's still got a shorter than average fuse, and this becomes apparent pretty quickly. Most crewmates fall somewhere between slight distrust and annoyance, some get the idea that he's not actually as dangerous as he acts, and some end up actively despising him. It's a grab bag. At the very least, he avoids physical fights with crewmates. Usually.

And he's got, like, a pathetically small amount of close friends. Liliana gets him pretty easily, to her dismay, sometimes, because they are incredibly similar. But then sometimes he does shit and she just. Does not get the logic. It seems like there's no in-between for her. She thinks he's selfish (she's right). Diana knows more about him (they grew up together), but gets him less. She frequently oversteps or misses the plot because she can't really update her image of him to the present once they reunite years later- he's changed a lot, but she hasn't really, and doesn't know what to do with this new, hostile Julian. She's figuring it out.

14 - How comfortable are they relying on others?

NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. God he hates it sooooo much. Relying on other people means things are out of your hands and he has GOT to have total control of himself at all times or he dies. The times when he has to depend on someone else for something, even someone he objectively trusts, just do not sit right with him. It feels like a debt to repay, it feels like someone else making decisions for you, it feels like not being capable of doing it yourself. It feels like helplessness and it feels like autonomal paralysis. And he can't trust anyone but him to not fuck it up (at least if he fucks it up, he fucks it up). He cannot STAND it. He is independent to his detriment.

17 - What are three moments in their life that impacted them the most?

wellthethingsaboutthatis

one - ever wonder why he walks with a cane? When he was a kid (teenager? whatever) he had a nasty fall as a result of, surprise, doing some stupid reckless bullshit for no reason. Frankly he was lucky to survive, but it didn't quite heal right and he's got a fucked up leg and varying degrees of chronic pain as a fun little remnant. That in of itself would make the list but also the thing about the fall is that he knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't trying to get hurt but he knew damn well it was likely, and figured 'if i die i die, or i survive and i'll have survived something that should've killed me.' Obviously he lives, and so gets a sense of invincibility that never really goes away. Kind of a 'well nothing's killed me YET' kind of a situation. This is not the beginning of reckless behavior, but it is the centerpiece, and the one that scared him enough to flip all the way back around and make him immune to that healthy fear.

two - sorry about this. so i have some stupid ass lore but long story short humans A: marry eldest to youngest amidst siblings (particularly daughters) and B: cannot be married until their elder sister is. On account of the transgender, this does some things. Julian's younger sister is just as impatient and narrow-minded as he is, and so when he puts off (and puts off and puts off) being married, she gets mad. as does their mother (do what you're told), as does their eldest sister Naomi (you're being childish). So eventually the choice is no longer his. and it just doesn't exactly take well and eventually leads to his leaving and not coming back, and drives a sort of frigidity and resentment that he takes out on the general public for the rest of ever. and gives him those control issues. as a treat.

THREE - There's a few i could go with here but they're similar so I'll go with the later one cause it's more solid: he kind of gets mutinied? But not really because he wasn't the one in charge, but he does stick with her against the rest of the crew. The crew he's a part of decide they've had enough with Liliana's quest that they have no stake in, puts them in danger, and gives them nothing, and so get rid of her. Except they include Julian in those plans because why wouldnt they? He's a member of the crew. But by now he has a sort of understanding with her, trusts her, and also just resents mutiny because loyalty is the one thing he believes in. (this is also slightly hypocritical but that's DIFFERENT he would NEVER (lie)). so he warns her, they end up just killing both of them, but also not really because obviously they don't die. So now it's him and Liliana just out on their own and she's still trying to kill the bitch she's been after for years and he's just along for the ride because he can't leave her behind (not that he'd admit it) and he gets to be her first mate when they get a new ship, new crew. This is a positive change, actually, because it's when they go from colleagues with an understanding to friends, when they know they can really rely on each other, and when he finally gets a crew that he's not as on edge around. He's been with shitheads for a while.

19 - How do they connect with the people around them?

He doesn't? There's exceptions I GUESS but for the vast majority he simply doesn't. He doesn't feel the need, he doesn't extend the hand, doesn't choose to trust people, he avoids meaningful connection because that means he has to stop lying. The moments he is genuine with people are few and far between, usually in extraneous circumstance in which he is forced to stop performing. People seeing through the falsity is more a threat than an olive branch- he doesn't want to be seen.

But he does (reluctantly) care about people SOMETIMES, and that is definitely more an actions over words situation. Because the words WILL be cruel. Doesn't matter how much he cares about someone, he will be saying some bullshit eventually out of frustration, defensiveness, inability to stop being a cunt, etc. Liliana is only his friend because she does the same thing, Diana is only his friend because she doesn't know when to save herself (only kind of kidding). But he will defend them both with his life and has, will follow them across seas and has, will kill the people that wrong them and has, you know. He's met them in sheepyards to hide from consequences and pierced ears as a declaration of loyalty. It's easy to forget, sometimes, but it's there. The most genuine connection even they will get out of him is the sort of chilly contemplation that happens late at night, that sort of stargazing-and-not-looking-at-you conversation that he will still cut off if it gets too close to something he's not touching. But they're kind of stuck together by now, you know?

THANK U again u know i love my stupid fucked up guy <3

#ocs #ask #ehehehehe. my specialist guy who is so incredibly fucked. i care he #everytime i write anything about julian im like 'yeah and he sucks. he just sucks so much he's such an asshole. i love him' #and im right

[lavandermin]

how do u think abyss prince!aether would take care of their darling? Would love to hear ur opiniionn <33 I honestly imagine him being harsh and strict to everyone else but a softie for their own darling..(would even ask for smol kisses) hehe have a nice dayy mii >< oh and may i be 🥐 anon, if its not taken?

Oooo I love this question a lot because I hardly really delve into Abyss Prince Aether stuff! 🥐 anon my sweet and soft beloved thank u for getting the dusty cobwebs off of my brain so I can think critically about this for once. I really sat down to think this through based on what I know with current game lore (his personality we see, etc) and mix it in with some own fan image.

(Also of course you can be 🥐 anon ^^💗)

more under the cut (includes some lore spoilers)

There’s some cruelty that comes from ordering attacks on places like Mond and defiling archon statues, etc. But that’s the lens we have from not knowing what this ‘grander scheme’ is. And we also don’t know if Abyss Prince Aether really has a say in all this or is simply a puppet/figurehead. We’ve seen how Dvalin was corrupted through abyssal means. There’s too many ‘what if’s but that’s what gives this so much room to explore and build his character.

All that word vomit aside, I do think Aether would be more firm and a little colder to those that are following his orders (ie. heralds, mages, etc). A plan is a plan and he can’t afford any slip ups if what he’s trying to achieve is justice for the people of Khaenri’ah. This is just my speculation and personal theory I’ll be using for the sake of this hc!

Now… I love sprinkling some angst in stories here and there so bear with me ^^;; In this scenario, I consider darling to not be an underling, but let’s say you still have some kind of tie to Khaenri’ah. For this hypothetical plot’s sake let's say Aether has you taken in for strict protection since you’re a descendant of the fallen civilization. Of course he doesn’t want to be harsh to you— you’ve been through far enough for any more cruelty.

In this sense, he’s also all you have. And with him being away from his sibling, you also become a sort of grounding comfort to him— a disjointed feeling of ‘home’. I absolutely agree, though! Aether would on occasion be much more soft and maybe ask for a little smooch after a rough, stressful day. He finds solace in the warmth that radiates from you hand while you hold it on an idle evening. He allows himself some bias towards you.

You are bright, you are hope, you are a reason to keep pursuing this damned plan. Risk it all, or nothing. You’re just an innocent bystander in all this— an accessory, some might say, but just a fugitive nonetheless. At least that’s what the abyss mages tell you when Aether is too busy to keep you company.

There’s plenty of manipulation they do on their end while Aether is away. But it keeps you pliant and by his side all the more. ‘Fear mongering’ they called it. It does bring plenty of nightmares sometimes, and Aether is always there to bring some soothing reassurances.

“It’s alright,” he’ll say in a hushed voice, bringing you close. The room is dark, cold and uninviting after bad dreams like these. It leaves you a shivering and startled wreck— your eyes are wide with fear like a deer caught in the headlights. Aether smooths his hands through your messy bedhead trying to calm you down. “I’m still here. Nothing will hurt you.”

And you were so, so strong. Or at least, you pretended to be. Within minutes you force an apologetic smile, sitting up properly.

“I’m… I’m okay now, Aether,” you reassure despite the tremble of your lips. His hand goes to cup your cheek and you place your subtly trembling hand over his without a second thought.

He’s searching your eyes for truth, but perhaps what he finds in them is a hundred times more frightening than any lie. There’s an unbreakable devotion and something far more dangerous in your eyes.

Aether is all you have.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” you ask, eyes wide with naïveté.

“Like you worship me. As if I’m some higher being,” he frowns at the words, a bitter aftertaste lingering in the back of his mind.

It strikes something in you, a sort of fear of rejection. The regret is instant when it hits him.

He knows he’s made a wrong move when you shrink into yourself, a small pout on your face. And just as easily as he breaks the moment, Aether is quick to mend it.

The soft press of his lips on the side of your head brings your gaze slowly back to him. It’s always painful to see how you hang onto him like a lifeline. “I’m sorry— for that.”

You sigh but break into a tired smile nonetheless. “You just… mean a lot to me, Aether. I don’t worship you,” you clarify, leaning forward to rest your head into the crook of his neck as he opts to rub small, reassuring circles into your back. “I love you— there’s a difference between the two.”

He hums in response, says nothing more on it, but allows a smile to grace his lips. It’s a rare indulgence, given the current circumstances, but with you he feels like there’s no harm in feeling a moment of peace.

The lightest of tugs on his scarf brings him back to the present moment. Your eyes are nothing if not a labyrinth of hope and a web of responsibility on his being. “Will you sleep next to me tonight? Just… until I fall asleep again.”

And like every night, Aether agrees with a nod and a smile that reminds you of home. “I’ll see you off into your dreams, don’t worry. Rest.”

The hours where you lay in a peaceful slumber keep him awake and in his thoughts. Aether dotes on you, and an alarming amount at that. However he had no choice but to keep you stuck to his side at all times— for your safety, he convinced himself. But… Were you really trapped with him? Or through invisible strings of fate was he trapped with you?

For now, that answer doesn’t matter. His priority is keeping your smile, maintaining the hope for a change that you’re tragically bound to. Yes, the most frightening truth is that he needs you all the more. This is why he keeps you safe and sound in this metaphorical cage of gold.

Through your eyes, he is sweet and caring. The only light of your life. He’ll do his best to keep it that way. Because he loves you, too.

#mii writes #abyss Aether has potential for so much soft angst #I really should write for him more #🥐 anon #ask stuff 💌 #aether #abyss prince aether #aether x reader #cw genshin spoilers

[ppersonna]

good for me | ksj - m

“ stay on the ground until your knees hurt. no more praying baby, imma be your preacher ” - church, chase atlantic

✹ summary- You’ve forgotten something very important and your husband, Seokjin, makes sure you never forget it again.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim seokjin x reader

✹ word count- 2.3k

✹ genre- smut, pwp, no plot, you’d have to DIG for a plot, like............. thats all there is to it. there is nothing else.

✹ warnings- hard dom!seokjin, oral sex (m receiving), spanking, degredation, dirty talk, shower sex, established relationship, 

✹ a/n- this has been in the drafts for some time. i debated posting it because it literally has no substance LMAOOOOO but hey fuck it. here’s some hard dom jin because 🥵 i needed it. thank u to @chimoona​ for her help and for my ladies @xjoonchildx​ @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ always giving me the hype.

The best part of exercising is the shower afterwards. 

Sure, you enjoy the benefits of cardio and weight training, but nothing ever feels as good as a hot steamy shower after you’re drenched in sweat.  

It’s what you’re looking forward to as you climb out of your car and trudge your weary body to the front door. 

It’s late in the evening now—Seokjin’s car is in the driveway next to yours, and you figure he must have returned home sometime while you were gone. You open the door and call out to your husband, alerting him to your return as you drop your keys onto the entryway table and kick off your gym shoes. 

It’s quiet in the house, not a single reply from Seokjin, but you quickly dismiss it. He’s likely busy, or stepped outside to the backyard for a phone call. 

It’s no matter. All you can think about is turning on the shower and stepping into the spray and allowing the shower to soothe away tension and wash away the slick. 

Your body is sticky with sweat and the bra and legging combo you wore is an unattractive darker color from the moisture.  You’re peeling off the clothes as you make your way upstairs towards your shared bedroom.  The clothes land somewhere near the laundry basket—you don’t care where—and you’re completely naked by the time your feet touch the marble of the bathroom floor. 

The muscles in your body relax the instant you turn the knobs of the shower to hot, as hot as you can make it. It takes a moment to warm up, and you generously use the time to roll out your sore muscles and gaze at your figure in the mirror. 

There are still marks on your body from your last playtime with Jin. 

Some nights, you have sex with him like a normal, married couple. Missionary, soft and gentle, plenty of emotion and sweet whispered words. 

Other nights, however, you willingly allow the sadist in him to gratify the masochist in you. He takes control, demands submission, and you freely give. 

Your time with your husband last night was the latter. He bent you over the bed and paddled your ass until you cried, and your pussy drooled onto the floor below you. He was relentless, powerful, and it made you putty in his hands. There was no one else on the earth you trusted more than Seokjin. You knew he would never intentionally hurt you in a way that didn’t bring you pleasure. And it made your desire for him burn even brighter. 

The bathroom is steamy by the time you’ve finished checking out the delicious marks your husband left on you, and you slip into the shower with a grateful sigh.  The pressure feels incredible on your muscles and you allow your eyes to close as you bask in the steam and heat. 

The cascading water and intoxicating heat clouds your mind and you never notice the bathroom door open or the sound of clothing being removed. You’re so distracted that you never hear the glass door of the shower open. 

And it’s too late now. 

You’re instantly being pressed up against the cold tile of the bathroom, a hot and hard body behind you making you squeak in surprise. 

Jin has joined you in the shower, and he’s pressed your chest to the cool wall and tangles his hands in your hair. 

“Look what we have here,” he tuts. “Nice to see you showed up.”

You furrow your brow, confused on what he’s talking about. He plays with your hair as he continues to hold you against the wall, cheek turned and flat against the tile. 

“Jin, wha—,” he cuts you off before you can finish. 

“That’s not my name, baby doll.” 

His voice is distinct from his usual.

This one radiates power. It oozes danger. And your cunt is already squeezing around nothing at the sound. 

“S-sir,” you gasp. Your breathing is heavy, body overcome with desire. 

“That’s a good girl,” he praises. He lets a free hand travel down your wet back towards your ass, where he cups a cheek in his hand delicately. 

“Now, can my good girl tell me what she did wrong today?” 

His hands rub the globe gently, and you shiver. His hands feel so strong, so ready to deliver the firm swats or gentle caresses you crave the most. 

You’re racking your rattled brain as hard as you can, desperate to figure out what you’ve done wrong. 

“I—I can’t remember,” you murmur. 

He tsks, upset at your answer. 

“You better start remembering, little one.”  

His hand rubs at the skin of your ass once more, before he’s lifting his hand and bringing it back down onto your cheeks with a crack. Your body jolts in reply and the stinging of your buttocks travels straight to your core. A low whimper leaves your lips—a sound of brewing desire more than despair. 

“Don’t you want to be my good girl?” He asks as he rubs the reddening mark. “Tell me what you’ve done wrong and you won��t be punished.” 

You puff out a breath in frustration, unable to remember what you’ve done. 

Jin notices and delivers another slap to your ass, this time on the opposite cheek, and you yelp. 

“I-I,” you stutter, brain spinning desperately to remember what it is you’ve missed.  

“If you’ve forgotten how to use your voice, then please, let’s put that mouth to use.”

He turns your body, your back now pressed against the tile where your tits once were. Your eyes widen. He looks like a fucking god. He’s wet and dripping from the spray of the shower, and his eyes burn like coals, stoked by his desire for you. He steps back from you, allows you to drink in his image pridefully. 

His cock is rock hard, straining and thick against his abdomen. He doesn’t bother to touch it, doesn’t stroke or grasp it. His eyes are drilling holes into your own with intensity and you can feel your submissive nature begging you to kneel. It’s what he wants.

He knows you—knows you better than you likely know yourself.  You’re lowering on to your knees with no thought, eyes fixated on his like he likes. 

“No hands,” he speaks gently. “Dirty fucking whores don’t get to use their hands.”

His powerful hands grip your damp hair, gathering a bunch and bringing your face to the tip of his cock.

“You wanna suck daddy’s cock?” He asks, tone almost teasing. He rubs the head against your plump lips, allowing them to collect the generous pre-cum at the tip.  

You nod, big simpering eyes peering up at him.

“Please, daddy,” you beg. “Let me suck your cock.”

He rubs your lips a few moments more, before grasping your jaw in his hands and prying your mouth open.

“Suck.”

His hips thrust forward and suddenly your mouth fills with his length.  You almost gag, almost, but you squeeze your fists tight and will it away. Jin smirks as he sees the tears build in your eyes from the pressure and continues forward until his cock fills your entire throat.

“Oh fuck,” he sighs. “Look at you take it all like a practiced whore.”

He pulls out slowly, torturously calculated and measured, before he’s slamming his length back into your throat and starting a pace.

Your mouth becomes a simple vessel for him and his pleasure. You tuck your teeth in as best as you can as he fucks your throat, cheeks hollowing as you attempt to tighten the space in your mouth, and lave your tongue over any inch of his cock you can find.  

He keeps his hand on your head, grip tightening steadily on your hair.  

“Shit,” he puffs a breath. “Best fucking cocksleeve.”

His head tips back as he enjoys the slurping, sloppy sounds your mouth is making. Saliva is sliding down the corners of your mouth where it gathers and drips to the wet marble floor below.  

Jin delights in the way you submit to him. He feels powerful, feels like a god. He loves you, every single aspect of you in the bedroom and outside of it. And he absolutely loves it when you’re on your knees, begging like a good girl. So good for him, even when you fuck up.

He peers back down at you, pushing more hair out of your face tenderly while he fucks your willing mouth.

“Mm, this is where you belong, isn’t it? This is what this hot little mouth is meant for.”

He punctuates his sentences with quicker, rougher snaps of his hips that force his cock to the very back of your throat. Your eyes spill over with tears and your throat tightens in reaction, squeezing the head of Jin’s cock.

“Ah, fuck yes, choke on it.”

He’s absolutely enamored by the way you work harder, mouth bobbing along with his thrusts.  You get off on this just as much as he does—you love to be degraded and treated like a whore in the bedroom while he treats you like the queen you are outside of it.

His queen, bowing in front of him to give him pleasure through her submission.

It’s one of the many reasons he loves you so fucking much.

He can feel his stomach tightening, core clenching as his orgasm builds. Simply watching your tears, mixed with the shower water slip down your face has his balls and heart yearning.

“You ready to swallow my cum, doll?” He asks, fully knowing the answer.  

Your impossibly beautiful and big eyes widen even further and Jin stifles a groan at the sight of you, the definition of submission personified. 

“Mm, I know you are.” He pumps harder into your gaping mouth, groaning at how wet and hot it is despite your aching jaw. “You love swallowing cum. It’s your favorite meal of the day.”

He’s gritting his teeth as his orgasm becomes more and more apparent and you bob your head earnestly to bring him off. You easily accommodate him without your hands, and he swells with pride at how good you are for him.

“That’s my perfect little slut,” he grits. He’s staving off the orgasm as long as he can, wants to soak in every moment of you gagging on his length. 

Your hand seeks purchase on Jin’s thick thighs, holding on for balance as your head bobs quickly and your throat works overtime to accommodate his length. Another quick glance up to him is all it takes for him to fall to pieces. He can never resist the way you look at him with a mouth full of cock.

His cock pulses with each groan and you whine cutely as he fills your mouth with his seed. You slow your movements and stay put, staring at him as his cock twitches.

He gently pulls his spent cock from your lips, panting as he attempts to right himself.

“Open up,” he demands in a gentle voice.

You’re compliant—mouth opening to display Seokjin’s thick cum pooled on your tongue. It makes him grin. 

“Nasty,” he winks. “Swallow, my love.” 

He rests a hand on your throat, wants to feel as you swallow his seed down. It makes his cock twitch back to life, ready to go again and again. It doesn’t matter how long he’s been married to you—he’ll always find the stamina for a round two.

“Are you ready to discuss what happened today?”

Jin holds out his hand for you, which you take gratefully to stand up inside the shower.

“Yes, please.”

Jin wraps his arms around you and pulls you under the spray of the shower. He places gentle and soft kisses up and down your neck as his hands slither up and down your wet body.

“What’s the date today?” He whispers as he kisses the shell of your ear.

“It’s the eighth--,” you start, before your eyes wide. “Oh, my god.”

He smiles and pulls back to look into your eyes.

“It is the eighth, yes, and?”

“It’s our wedding anniversary.”

Your heart sinks. In the hustle and bustle of the day, it slipped from your mind of your anniversary. He had planned an entire evening to spend together, and you had forgotten all about it, abandoned the plans for a night at the gym.

“Oh, my god, Jin, I am so sorry. I totally forgot.”

Jin kisses at your face, cupping your cheeks with his hands.

“Baby, it's okay,” he assures as he kisses your shower-slick lips. “I’m not mad. The steaks are a little cold, but…”

You cling harder to your husband. 

“God, I’m an idiot. I owe you!”

He chuckles in your ear as he wraps his arms tight around you. Anniversary or not, Seokjin is in love with you. And he can forgive a simple mistake. Especially when you make up for it so sweetly.

“You’re not an idiot, baby. You can show me how sorry you are tonight when you’re tied up to the bed and taking my cock, hm?”

You lick your lips, already excited for the delicious punishments Jin must have planned for you.

“I love you,” you murmur, standing on tip-toes to press another kiss to his full lips.

“Mmm, and I love you,” he replies. “And you’re going to be good for me tonight, aren’t you baby?”

Jin is turning off the shower as you nod.

He gathers a towel and steps out, drying every inch of your body before guiding you to the bedroom.

“Show me.”

© ppersonna - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author. 

#bts smut #seokjin smut #jin smut #kim seokjin smut #kim seokjin #ficswithluv #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts fic #bts fics

[cheesesteakphil]

IT’S FEBRUARY 28TH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

IT’S RARE DISEASE DAY!! YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I’ve done this once before, but that was YEARS ago and my following has doubled since then SO! I make a new post! Except I’m typing it out instead of drawing because I did NOT plan ahead for this like I was supposed to!

So! The day itself, The purpose of rare disease day is to bring awareness to rare diseases and help access to medical treatment and representation for individuals that need it, and gives folk an opportunity to educate people on some of these rare diseases and share the experiences they’ve had.

You can learn more about the day itself HERE

I got an interview for first hand experience and knowledge about a rare disease! Under the read more will be a (very long! Sorry!) education lesson about it. TW’s for eye related talk, hospital/medical talk and general biology stuff.

Hey Hello there is no interview it’s totally just me. I interviewed myself in the form of writing this and using my brain to remember things. I’ll be going through all the technical medical stuff first and then I’ll get to my personal experience.

I have Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension.

A quick breakdown of those individual words for you:

Idiopathic - Relating to or denoting any disease or condition which arises spontaniously or for which the cause in unknown

Intracranial - Within the Skull. In ya noggin. Brain case. You get it.

Hypertension - Abnormally high blood pressure.

Put those together and the official definition is this: “Idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH) is a disorder related to high pressure in the brain. It causes signs and symptoms of a brain tumor. It is also sometimes called pseudotumor cerebri or benign intracranial hypertension.” [1] - This ananotated site also is the best for learning about IIH, if you don’t want to listen to me talk about my own experience/non-doctor type breakdown of it :)

The symptoms of IIH can present as the following:

- Blurry vision or Double vision, and in extreme cases, vision loss (especially in the peripheral vision)

- Dizzyness/nausea

- Vomiting

- Neck Stiffness

- Frequent headaches and/or Migranes

- Tinnitus (persistent ringing in the ears)

- Forgetfullness

- Depression

First thing that’s done is eye tests, specifically to check the back of the eye using retinal imaging (a big camera flashbangs you basically, it sucks.) to view the retina, optic disc (funky spot that holds the nerve) and blood vessels.

This is followed by Brain imaging with either an MRI or a CT scan to detect if there are any tumors present or anything else that could be causing the symptoms (plot twist, IIH is just your brain playing a funny prank to trick doctors into looking like you have a brain tumor when really, there’s nothing there)

After an MRI comes back clean, the next step is a Lumbar puncture (also called a spinal tap), to withdraw a sample of CSF (Cerebrospinal fluid - the juice that your brain sits in that’s also in your spine). This is to check the pressure in your spine and skull. The typical CSF opening pressure in an adult will range from 10-20 cmH2O.

Though a direct cause for IIH occuring is unknown, the CSF pressure is what’s responsible for the symptoms, high pressure in the skull can press against the optic nerve at the back of the eyes, resulting in the potential vision loss or blurred/double vision.

Treatments for IIH will vary depending on the severity of the case, but can include weight loss, medicine such as diuretics to filter excess fluid out of the body, having frequent spinal taps to remove excess fluid and reduce pressure, or having a shut surgically placed in the brain to drain fluid. 

Now that I’ve fried your brain with all that medical text book wordage, I will let u in on my fun little tale of my relationship with IIH.

Which starts with me breaking my glasses lmao.

I was in university, I woke up one morning, and I got out of bed and stood directly on my glasses that were on the floor. So I thought ‘fuck ok well I might as well go get an eye test if I need new glasses anyway’ so I stumble my way into town and the optician was so empty they just took me in for an eye test straight away. And they had recently gotten upgraded equiptment to capture detailed imaging of your eyes to detect if there are any health issues that could be imparing sight, and so snap snap I get flashbanged with camera lights and they discovered that some of the blood vessles in the back of my eyeballs were burst, so he wrote a note, and sent me straight to the ER.

I get there, they look me over, do some standard eye tests and send me up to Opthamology (eye doctors) who read the note and send me straight to Neurology (brain doctors) who put me straight in the metal magnet tube (MRI). And as well as confirming that I do definitely have a brain, there is also 100% no tumors hiding in the brain wrinkles either. After that they slap me with the diagnosis and book me in for a spinal tap the next day. Now I mentioned what the average pressure should be for spinal fluid (between 10-20 cmH2O ), and mine was something around 25 cmH2O, which was the very bottom base line for IIH diagnosis, so by all account, I’m thankfully an incredibly mild case. 

 Another fun fact that contributed to my mildness is that I am totally asymptomatic. I haven’t experienced any of those symptoms I listed except tinnitus, but I’ve had that for as long as I can remember, so it wasn’t a symptom from the IIH. (Also certain I’ve had depression before the IIH too but w/e w/e not important they didn’t check me for that anyway)

Thankfully, this all lead to me only ever needing the one spinal tap during diagnosis, and I’m on a low dose of Acetazolomide medication which I can be taken off of once I lose some more weight :) I did used to see an Opthamologist and a Neurologist (I MISS YOU DR.BATHGATE U WERE SO COOL) regularly while I was still at uni but that stopped once I finished in 2018 and moved back home because the hospital in my city is shit and never actually picked up my referral. But tbh the constant hospital visits were not having the best effect on my mental health so it’s a bit of a tricky situation.

I’ve always made a point to be very open about this, so that I can educate those that are unaware or misinformed (I’ve even had to tell a few GP doctors about it!) and I am always open to any questions people have, be it about the diagnostic process or my own experience, and I highly encourage sharing the knowledge! It is still a widely unknown disorder and my hope is that shining enough light on these conditions will help give rare diseases the boost they need both in public awareness and to advance medical research.

If you made it this far into the post, a BIG BIG THANK YOU! This day obviously means a lot to me, and the fact that you took the time to read all those words for me means even more! Please feel free to share this post around if you want, and maybe take the time to read a bit more about Rare Disease Day (once again, that link is here)

Ty Ty have a wonderful day! :)

#Dr. Phils' therapy talk session #iih #rare disease day #medical talk #ok to rb

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

E N H Y P E N as Vampires

pairings: jake sim x reader

summary: having all eternity to live on, Jake find it lonely to be all alone not until he set eyes over at you.

word count: 5k

warnings: suicide

a/n: Jake’s one shot was a little short but I hope it’s still okay. My recent works had received so much love from you guys! Thank you so much and I love you guys so much! Have a great day. 🌸 (Taglist still open!)

taglist: @rubyanne, @izneos, @jung-breadshop @llamabouquet @eterniki @hwangjangmi @full-sannie @danyxthirstae01 @flowerjaem @dreamykkoo @crjwon​

“Go to hell, y/n!” I shut my eyes tightly as something hit my back hardly when my step sister started throwing things towards me.

I just turned 18 and now they’re trying to kick me out of from the house my Dad had left us. Well, my Mom died when I was just 9 years old. My father got so lonely because of her and he thought I was feeling the same way so he decided to re-marry.

He married my Step-mother four years ago. She have one daughter and they weren’t that nice to me. She just treat me nicely whenever my Dad is around, and now that he left me too. I have nobody else beside me. I’m all alone.

I cried silently as I tried picking up my things that were now scattered all over the floor. My step-mother starred down right at me with no sympathy. Beside her was my step-sister whose smirking widely while watching me suffer. I bet they’ve waited long for this to happen, to get rid of me.

After getting all of my stuff, I started walking directionless. Like a lifeless human, I was walking mindlessly. I don’t know where to go or even what to do. It will be night soon and I don’t think it will be too nice for a young girl to be all alone out here.

I gulped and quickly search for my phone. Delighted to see that there was still a little battery left, I gulped dialing someone.

“Who’s this?” I gulped feeling thrilled that she actually picked up.

“It’s me y/n.” I bit my lower lip and I heard her heavy sigh right away.

We weren’t close and maybe she’s even annoyed that I gave her a ring but I don’t have anyone else to call. My hand automatically made its way over to my lips as I started biting my fingernails.

“Why did you call me?”

“U-Uhh.. I don’t have anywhere else to go. My step mother kicked me out and--”

“And you’re calling me right now because? Hey, not because i’m the class president you're allowed to do this.” she sounded so sarcastic and annoyed at the same time.

You were silent for a while. You can’t fully blame her, to be called out of nowhere by someone you’re not close with will definitely weird and creepy. Not to mention that you’re one of the most bullied students in your class.

“Can you p-please help me out? Just this o-once. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” you’re mind are all messed up. No thoughts at all, the fact that you’ve been kicked out from the house where you spent your whole life with was still not sinking in to you.

Your eyes can’t even produce any tears at the moment. You feel like you’ve been crying too much that you actually got tired of it.

A sigh from the other line was heard and it pulled you back to reality, “What do you need?”

“C-Can I stay with you? Even in just a few--”

“What? No way! Don’t you have anyone else?” she sounded more irritated. Feeling more anxious about it, you gulped.

“I have nobody else.” you’re voice sounded so low and lifeless. Having nothing else to push you to live anymore, your last resort was to just take your own life.

“Ugh, why do you have to be a sore loser?” you bit your lower lip trying to ignore her rude comment. You have no one else who can take you in for a few days while you look for a job.

“Fine. Just go here.” and she dropped the call right away.

A small smile actually spreads through your face as you headed towards her apartment. Finally feeling like you’re starting to make a change in your life, you plot some plans inside your head. Things you need to do in order to live a better life.

As you arrive at her place, you knocked and waited patiently for her to open the door for you. With an unpleased look, she faced you and lets you inside.

She didn’t even ask if you’re okay or anything. Despite the bruises all over your body, she ignored it and just guided you to a vacant room. It was dusty and unorganized but you can’t complain. You should even be grateful she lets you be here for a few days.

“3-4 days maximum.” she reminded you before going out of the room.

You nodded your head even after she left and roamed your eyes around. Letting out a heavy sigh, you started arranging things so you can fix the bed and maybe get ready for sleep. You can feel your stomach grumbling out of hunger but you ignored it completely. You have no money to buy any food and you don’t want to trouble your class president for food as well. It would be too much hindrance for her.

You slept with an empty stomach that night so when you woke up the next day, you kind of don’t have any strength. When you went out, you saw a note over at the table saying she left some food and some spare keys.

Feeling thankful about it, you had breakfast and made sure you’ll thank her later on. When you arrived school, your step-sister was already there smirking at you. You tried hard avoiding her and just straightly went to your seat at the back.

The students around were starring at you for a bit while and even whispering with each other. Seems like your step-sister had announced at the whole class that you’ve been kicked out from your house. You were wondering what kind of false rumors did she create this time.

“It’s Jake!” your head snapped right over at the door when the girls inside your class got so excited about someone.

Jake Sim. Your eyes settled at the handsome boy who entered the class smiling. He was really attractive and almost the whole class likes him, including your step-sister. She was crazy for him.

You can’t blame her since he was really gorgeous. He’s nice too, always wearing a smile and kind to everybody. But theres just one thing that you’ve noticed with him. His eyes looked dead sometimes. Like even if he’s smiling, his eyes were lifeless.

You jolted a bit when both of your eyes met each other. With light red tinted over your face, you quickly looked away. This isn’t the right time to have a crush on somebody, y/n! You’ve got to find a job first.

After the bell rang, indicating that the class had finished, you hurried yourself out avoiding students. You’re determined to go and look for a job to support your needs.

The whole time remaining, you just tried looking for a job but no luck. You went back disappointed and trying hard to convince yourself that you can try and find for another one tomorrow.

The next days were just the same for you. It was no luck, you feel like you’re step-mother were starting to meddle with it as well. And also, lately, you’ve noticed Jake’s stares over at you during classes. He never done that before, but it was often these past two days. You don’t want to sound assuming or anything but that’s just how you noticed it.

The third day of hunting for a job, it was also a failure. With a heavy heart you trailed over at the quiet street of your town. It was 9pm, almost 10. Less people can be seen outside. After some rumors about the missing persons, people in your town started to be more careful.

Your feet brought you over a bridge. You starred right over at it mindlessly. Mind completely blank with thoughts, your mind wondered over those timed when you’re still happy. When you’re Mom was still there, back when you still have someone to lean on.

For the first time in days, you felt your eyes teared up. The image of your Mom that were always so clear for you flashed back right in your mind. Her comforting smile and warm hugs, you sure miss them the most. You cried silently while walking towards the edge of the bridge. You starred right down, it was the cold river.

With eyes full of tears, you roamed them around trying to check if somebody else was there. You wiped off your tears and started climbing over it. You have no will to live anymore so you just decided to take your own life.

Trembling a bit while standing at the other side of the bridge, you starred right down beneath you. The water looked so cold and dark. Feels like you’ll die right away once you jumped down.

Having just both of your two hands and the little space your stepping on as the only things that keeping you alive, you started battling with your own mind. Being completely confused, tired and lifeless, you really wanted to jump off.

“What are you doing?” your eyes snapped open and looked over at your right.

You gulped, eyes grew a bit at the sight of somebody in front of you. He was starring right at your eyes and you saw how cold his eyes were again.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him back emphasizing the you at him. Jake pursed his shoulders and even leaned over at the railings of the bridge beside you.

He’s acting like as if you were not at the other side and life’s in danger.

“Taking a stroll.” he casually answered.

“At this time?” you asked doubting him.

He smiled a little after nodding his head at you, “How about you? What are you doing? Are you gonna jump off?” he asked and starred down over the river.

You gulped, “N-Nothing.” if anything, you don’t want to cause trouble to anybody else.

He chuckled lightly, “Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.” he tilted his head then eyed you back.

“You’re planning to kill yourself, aren’t ya?” he asked, his accent popping a bit. You gulped, guilty. You were silent because one, he knows. Two, he still look gorgeous even if it’s dark already. The only light you guys have was the one from the bright moon.

“I don’t have any will to live in this cruel world.” your voice were low. The wind blew right towards at both you but you saw how he starred right over at your eyes.

There was a moment of silence before he lets out a sigh, “This world sure is cruel.” he agreed.

For the first time, somebody agreed with you. A small smile appeared over at your lips as you felt your heart races a bit. You don’t know if he’s really agreeing with you or he’s just really kind. Because honestly, there's nothing you can think of a reason why he’ll think this world is cruel for him. It seems like he already have everything and that his life was perfect.

“But if you live in it in a different way, it’ll change.” he muttered meaningful and he starred right at you once again, eyes piercing.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. You don’t get what he just said but even before you can ask him, he pulled out something from behind. It was tumblr?

He handed it over at you with a sweet smile. “What is this?” you asked, one hand holding over at the railing as the other accepted what he handed over. The space that you’re stepping over was enough to keep you steady but you're still holding on over at the steel railing.

“Wine. Might as well have some of that before dying right?” he smirked right at you.

Wondering a bit because of what he just said you looked at him with full confusion, he chuckled opening the lid for you.

“If you drink that, I won’t say any word about what I saw today.” he said smiling at you.

Biting your lower lip, you decided to do what he just said. Taking a sip, you groaned a bit finding it a bit strange. Having your eyes shut, you didn’t notice how Jake’s eyes turned red out of excitement just by looking at you drinking what he just gave you.

“Do as you promised.” you said after putting the almost empty bottle over at the railing.

You wiped over the corner of your lips and saw the familiar red color of wine. After having a sip from that drink, you kind of became more brave to do what you just planned moments ago.

Jake stood just beside you from the other side of the bridge. He watch how sorrow took over your eyes, tears streaming over your eyes. He hates it. All of it. He hates how people were so cruel to you, how you punish yourself from it and how you still try to keep a smile even after being treated badly by this world.

His face turned serious as he watch you slowly let go from the railing, body falling right over the cold river. He starred over as your body collided at the surface of the water.

He was sure it would take your life. A loss from the human world and a gain to his. With a smirk, he put his hands inside his pocket as he heads down over the river.

He roamed his eyes that quickly turned red and went over the water to go look for your body. He found you pretty much faster than expected, your face was full of bruises and probably broken bones. He gently placed his fingers over at your wrist to check your pulse.

He pulled you out and carried you bridal style, slowly he lets your body over the grass beside the cold river. The silent night even made it more colder but it doesn’t matter because Jake wasn’t even a living person so the cold is nothing to him anymore.

Jake’s eyes turned red as his fangs slowly showed as he leaned closer. A smirk spread right into his face as he felt no heartbeat coming from you. This world had lost you but now he have you for him, all for him.

Jake buried his fangs over your neck and drink from your blood, making all over his veins get too excited.

He leaned away starring right over at your unconscious body. He smirked, wiping off some blood dripping out from his mouth, “You’re gonna be with me forever, y/n.”

Your eyelids felt a little heavy as you open them slowly. An unfamiliar ceiling greeted you that made you furrowed your brows a little. You were confused where you were so you stood up.

You roamed your eyes around at the place. It looked elegant and cozy at the same time. Head aching a bit, your hand rested over at your temple as you try to remember the previous things that happened that can help you to know where you are.

Your eyes quickly snapped open when you remember yourself jumping off from the bridge. You starred right over your arms and you saw them completely fine, both of your legs were fine as well. There's no trace of signs that you’ve committed suicide.

It was so strange because you were so sure that you jumped off. Feeling completely confused, you ran your hands over at your hair and to your surprised, they grew a bit longer. Your eyes then notice how more pale you became.

“I see you’re awake now.” your head snapped over at the corner when you heard somebody talked.

“J-Jake?” you muttered his name.

He smiled sweetly at you. To your surprised it didn’t look so lifeless anymore. It looked livelier for some reason.

Oh right! Jake was there too! He watched you jumped off the bridge. Is he the one who saved you?

He slowly walked closer to you and sat down over at the edge of the bed. You looked at him, a lot of questions were already inside your mind.

“Let me see your eyes,” his voice sound so calm. You furrowed your brows as he leaned closer.

You felt this tingling inside your stomach as he smiled in satisfaction in front of you, “Beautiful.” he mumbled that made you flustered.

Did he just said beautiful?

“Do you feel hungry?” he asked like it's just normal for you to be here inside wherever this is.

“Did you save me?”

He starred at your eyes and he smiled. “You jumped, remember?”

You nodded your head because that’s clearly what you remembered. He nodded as well as he looked over your arms then back over at your face.

“Do you know anyone who lived right after trying to jump off from that bridge?”

You pursed your lips and shake your head no. In the cases you’ve known from your town, nobody ever lived after jumping off. So... why?

“Then... how?” you looked at him anticipating of any answers.

He smiled, hand stretched out over at you. He brushed away some hairs from your face and hung them over your ears. You were pretty sure you were flushed, but for some funny reason, you can’t feel any warmth from your body.

“You said you have no will to live anymore and that the world were so cruel.” he started, you nodded listening to him. He was right about that, even if its a bit blurry, you can still remember saying that to him.

“I told you if you lived it in a different way, it wouldn’t be so cruel. I just did you a favor.” he explained but you were still clueless about the things that were currently.

“I don’t understand.”

He smiled and stood up then walked towards the side table just beside the bed you were tucked in.

“Are you hungry?” he asked while holding something.

You didn’t talk, you actually don’t know. At the moment, you were confused and doesn’t feel anything.

But you felt the sudden hunger the moment he open the lid of the container he was holding. Letting out a small chuckle, Jake walk back to the bed.

“Ahh, I can’t get over with how beautiful you look, y/n. What to do? I think I found my obsession.” he muttered eyes fixed over at you.

You blushed hardly because of what he just said but quickly got distracted over the thing he was holding. The closer he gets, the hungrier you get.

When he hand it over to you, your brows furrowed at the sight of a red liquid inside.

“W-What is this?”

“I figured your body won’t take somebody else’s blood since it's still adjusting so i’ll be your blood bank for the mean time.”

You were stunned at your position when you heard about it. It is blood. Fresh blood of Jake. Why does it smelled so good? It make you drool in hunger.

“Am I...?”

You’ve heard about those things before. They were often became topics specially lately because of the sudden missing people over at your town.

Jake sat close to you, “Yeah, a vampire.”

Your hand lowered letting the cup rest over your thigh, you almost lose your mind. You don’t want to believe it but what else can explain the reason why you’re still here breathing when you jumped off a freaking bridge?

“B-But why? I told you I wanted to die.”

“Well, basically you’re already dead.”

You looked at him, frustrated. Okay, you are dead but that doesn’t even make sense! You're seem like you’re still alive. Breathing, but dead.

“You don’t understand, Jake. I wanted to die because I don’t want to be here. I have nobody else with me.”

His face turned serious and you’re not gonna lie, you somehow felt intimidated when that soft smile vanished from his face.

“Then what do you call me, baby? I’m here for you.” he said softly hand raised over to cup your face.

“Life’s been cruel to you and you were too good for that world.” his eyes turned red and you don’t know but they looked so pretty.

Two sharp fangs showed over from his lips as he smiled at you. Your mouth fell, right now, Jake looked really out of this world. You never know vampires can look this good. The books you used to read never told you they look this attractive.

“Now that I have you, I’ll make sure you won’t suffer anymore. Be with me,”

“Why me?”

Out of all the girls who were giving him attention, why you?

“Why not you?” he said starring right over at your eyes.

You were stunned, silent after he answered that to you.

He leaned closer to you, lips touching your cheeks lightly then over at your ears. It sent shivers over at your whole body but you loved it. Jake’s effect over at you, you enjoyed it.

“I’ll be here for you, y/n.” he whispered.

You gulped, lowering your head as you shut your eyes tightly.

“O-okay.” you answered.

Jake smirked, “That's my girl.”

You’ve noticed some changes from your physical appearance and even at some aspects of your personality. You’re not that anxious anymore, confidence filled you up for some reasons. It isn’t a bad thing.

You trailed over the empty hallway of your school. Classes already started so you’re now heading over your classroom. You’ve learnt that you’ve skipped school for 3 days already.

Arriving at the entrance of the room, heads turned towards your direction. Looking directly over your teacher, you smiled right at her. She was furrowing her brows while trying to determine who you are.

“Is that... y/n?” you heard one of your classmates whispered.

“I’m sorry for being late, Ms. Choi.” and you even bowed at her.

She looked dumbfounded looking right at you. She doesn’t know how to exactly describe but something changed.

“U-Uh... Ms. Y/n--”

Your teacher can’t even finish what she was about to say when a hand wrapped over your shoulder.

“Sorry for being late, Ms. Choi. We kind of had some problem on our way here.” Jake suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

You blushed but kept still. You were used to Jake’s affection. He’s such a loving person. He took care of you and you never felt that way ever since you’re Dad died.

“It’s o-okay, Mr. Sim. You two can sit now.” she said. The class were still silent as they were very shock at what’s happening right now.

Your eyes traveled over the students inside. They were looking at you in a different way, not in the way how they used to back when they’re still bullying you. Some of them looked at you with confusion, some with desire and some with fear.

You chuckled softly, starring at their pathetic faces. Specially your step sister, her eyes were a bit bigger than usuall.

“Y/n, right here baby.” Jake called you out. You nodded and turned your head towards him. As the teacher gets back to where she was interrupted, you sat down beside him.

Jake rested his hand over at the back rest of your chair. His hands started drawing small lazy circles over your other arm.

He leaned closer, “Did you see their faces?” he whispered at you dropping a kiss over at your shoulder before he leaned away.

You smirked nodding your head as you turned over at him. “They were so surprise.”

He chuckled, “Who wouldn’t be surprise? My girl looked so beautiful.” he said while facing the front. You blushed and you saw how his ears turned a bit red too. You chuckled and just tried focusing at the lesson.

As time pass by, you started to get more dizzy. “I’m dizzy.” you mumbled softly.

“You hungry?”

You looked over at him and slowly nodded your head. He chuckled finding you cute. He rummages over his things and pull out a tumblr. The same tumblr he handed you that night.

He brushed away some hair away from your face, “Take it easy with you in-take of blood.” he whispered after dropping a kiss over at your forehead.

You started drinking from the bottle and felt yourself getting much better. The class continued with you having your meal. Jake find you cute while you enjoy it so much.

When the classes were finally over, Jake and you headed outside the school hand in hand. Students followed both of you with stares full of curiosity.

“Uh, you should go on Jake. I’ll just go to the class president because of my things I left at her place.” you told him.

He nodded his head at you, “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

You smiled at her before nodding your head. When you saw him walked away, you started to walk back inside the campus to go and look for the class president. You did find her pretty fast. She was with your step sister and some from their circle of friends.

“Class president.” you called her out. They looked over you in unison and they looked surprised once again.

“oh y/n!” unlike before, she doesn’t look irritated by your presence. Your step sister was lowering her head as well, trying to avoid eye-contact.

“I’m just gonna inform you that I’ll be getting my stuff at your place later. Thank you for letting me stay.” I said smiling. Well even if she acted annoyed, I can’t deny that she was nice enough to keep me in.

“H-Huh? Why? You know what, I actually felt alone. You c-can stay if you want.”

You starred right at her eyes. Lies. It doesn’t look so sincere like how Jake’s eyes sparkles whenever he talks with you. He was so sincere with everything, warmth taking over you once he started comforting you.

You smiled a little, “Nah, it's fine. I already have a place to stay.”

“Where were you these past days? We w-were looking for y-you!” she said. Again, you can’t feel anything from her.

“I jumped off a bridge.” you straightly told her. She was dumbfounded as well as the other girls that were with her.

After seconds of silence, you chuckled. “I was kidding. Jake kept me in.”

They gulped and obvious envy were over their faces. You sighed and decided you should go on. As you turn around, you felt somebody held your arm.

“Y/n, Mom said you s-should go home.”

You slowly faced her then your eyes trailed over to her hand that was holding you. Her eyes weren’t blank and doesn’t look so rude like always. You were stunned and can’t talk for a while. You don’t know what to response to her.

Even before you can talk, a hand brushes away her hold off from you. A hand instantly held your waist and pulled you closer to his body.

“Her home now is with me.” Jake said and you felt that familiar comfort that you’ve never felt for so long.

Jake guided you away from and you went along without saying a word.

Weeks passed by with Jake and you’ve been very happy with him. He introduced you to this amazing world he have. Days with Jake was never boring and full of surprises. He clearly made you happy.

You let out a loud breath while you felt his soft fingers caressing your arms while you’re both snuggling close to each other.

You’re both enjoying the silence between you while laying down to your bed.

“How did you turn me again, Jake?” you were curious.

“The wine I offered you that night have my blood in it.” he chuckled remembering what he just did back then.

“Why do you have a thing like that with you while strolling around?” you turn over and rested your hand over at his chest while you lay your head over it. You looked over to Jake and he have this smirk right over his face.

“I was following you around for days and I figured I should be prepared once I saw an opportunity to give you that drink.” he said.

“So you do wanted to turn me.”

“Yeah. You thought I was kidding when I said that?” he raised an eyebrow at you. With a chuckle you nodded your head.

“Jake, I’ve always noticed your eyes were cold before. Why?”

He kept his smile while starring right at you, he sighed then gently brush away some strands from your face.

“You know, not everyone is fond of living forever. I’ve never found somebody who’s willing to stay with me. I was born as a vampire and I felt so alone.” He sound so sad that you actually felt bad for him.

“When I saw you, I knew I wanted you. I told myself I’ll take it slow and won’t force you. But when I saw you struggle in this life and really planned to take your life, I became selfish.” his eyes turned red as he starred lovingly at you.

You gulped cupping his face. “What if I told you I don’t want this?”

You saw pain over his eyes as he held your hand that was holding his face. With soft kiss, he showered your hands with it. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know if I can let you go.”

You pursed your lips, “I’m all alone in my life too, Jake.” you said and he opened his eyes to look at you.

With affection, your eyes turned red as you leaned closer to his face. “But now that you’re here, I have a home I can call mine. I have a person I can be with forever.” you mumbled and he leaned closer as well for a kiss.

“I love you,” you mumbled.

“I love you, y/n.”

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#enhypenwriters #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypenjakesim #enhypen jake imagines #enhypenjake #enhypen jake x reader #jakesim #enhypen yang jungwon #enhypenjungwon #yangjungwon #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypenheeseung #leeheeseung #enhypenjaypark #enhypenjay #parkjongseong #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypensunghoon #parksunghoon #enhypen kim sunoo #enhypensunoo #kimsunoo #enhypen nishimura riki #enhypenniki #nishimura riki

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Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

[hutchhitched]

Don’t Talk To Me

Written by: @hutchhitched

Prompt 76: Modern a/u Katniss is getting over the loss of her sister (you decide how) when she meets Peeta. She’s closed off but he finds a way in. Maybe she works for him? Him for her? Maybe she cries herself to sleep on his bread scented shoulder? (Please yes I need that) [submitted by @endlessnightlock]

Ratings/Warnings: T

A/N: Y’all... It’s finally here. This is story number nine from the nine prompts I claimed for the 2020 @everlarkficexchange and then lost the will to write during the early months of the pandemic. I wasn’t sure I’d get here, but it’s happened. This is not the story I intended to write when I took the prompt, but sometimes the muse takes control, and I simply follow. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays and @endlessnightlock for being supportive of my plot change.

Katniss Everdeen hates people. Well, that’s not exactly true, but she doesn’t exactly like them either. They’re too…human or whatever. Too many acquaintances. The last thing she wants to do is get close to any of them, especially after the events of the past few months. She’s barely holding it together as it is, and introducing people or, even worse, friends could tip her right over the edge. She values her sanity.

 That’s probably why the new, sweet, disgustingly optimistic, overly friendly hire at the coffee shop where Katniss works irritates her so much. He’s just so nauseatingly earnest. It makes her want to punch him in the face.

 “How’s my favorite barista today?” he asks when she joins him behind the counter while still tying her apron. She mumbles noncommittally, but he doesn’t seem at all deterred. “I like that sweater.”

 “Peeta,” she says as she attempts to maintain control of her temper. He looks at her with such eagerness, she wilts under his obvious enthusiasm. “I’m just… It’s not a good day. Can we not?”

 His face falls, and she almost relents. She doesn’t know what it is that’s convinced him she’s someone he needs to befriend, but she simply has no interest. She doesn’t want more entanglements. They hurt too much.

 “Sorry,” he whispers and turns away. She swallows a twinge of guilt for hurting his feelings, but she doesn’t yield. Instead, she pivots to the espresso machine and starts making coffee. They work together silently, their only conversation about drink orders. They move around each other easily with no uncomfortable bumping or banging elbows or shoulders. He’s a good worker, at least, and he knows how to take a hint.

 “See you tomorrow,” Peeta says softly as his shift ends, and she flashes a brief smile. She doesn’t want to be rude, but come on. He doesn’t have to be friends with everybody.

 It continues like that for months, him fruitlessly friendly and her taciturn and distant. He continues to pursue a friendship, never pushing or prodding, simply being there and consistently showing kind. It’s exhausting.

 “How do you manage to stay so sickeningly upbeat?” she asks finally after several days of wanting to scream. He wears her down. She’d tell him to stop, but she’s starting to think she might like his optimism a little bit.

 He pauses for a second to glance at her before returning his attention to slipping sleeves onto the cup he’s holding. He calls out the order and smiles at the customer before answering. “What’s the other option? Being miserable?”

 “Well, I’m pretty good at it.”

 “I don’t think that’s true,” he argues softly. “I think you’ve had a rough time, and you’re grieving and healing. No one begrudges you that.”

 She gapes at him for a few seconds before snapping back to attention. The last thing she needs is to break down in front of everyone. Somehow, she thought he didn’t know anything. It’s disconcerting to realize her grief is on public display when she’s worked so hard to tuck it away. She reels, and he presses his lips together in frustration.

 “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

 “It’s… You’re fine.” She swallows hard and shakes her head. “I’m taking my break.”

 His wounded expression slices through her as she flees.

 ****

 Another couple of weeks pass before Katniss finds herself alone with Peeta again. They’re scheduled to close on a slow night, and everyone else has gone home when he locks the door behind the last customer and she turns off the light and secures the window for the drive through window.

 “Alone at last,” she jokes and is struck by his wry grin.

 “You don’t have to do that.”

 “Lock up? I think I do.”

 He catches her gaze and refuses to let it drop. “Pretend to be happy you’re here with me.”

 “I—”

 “I’m sorry,” he insists. “I thought maybe if I could talk to you and stop being so, you know, wounded that maybe we could take a shot at being friends. I didn’t mean to upset you, Katniss. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

 She doesn’t answer for several beats. He squirms a little and drops his eyes to study twisting hands and twitching feet. She’s going to regret this. She knows she will. Still, there’s something sweet and shy and kind that she yearns for when the rest of the world is so hard and cold. Maybe it’s weakness or something else equally awful she should expunge from her personality, but she can’t let him spiral this way. Maybe it’ll stop hers, too.

 “We could, uh, try that.”

 It comes out garbled and stunted, but the change in his countenance makes her glad she took the step. A thousand emotions flit over his handsome face, but a grin splits his lips so wide that his teeth flash white. She holds up her hands to head him off, but he steadies himself. With eyes twinkling, he chuckles.

 “I saw the fear there for a second. I’ll control myself before I start asking the deep stuff.”

 “The deep stuff?” she asks, still gun-shy.

 “Yeah, like it’s crazy that I’d voluntarily cover a shift for you if you called in sick, but I don’t know your favorite color.”

 “It’s green.”

 “Mine’s orange.”

 “Like those chairs?” she laughs and nods at the overly bright upholstery on the furniture. Apparently someone in corporate thought pumpkin spice wasn’t just their most popular fall drink; it was also where customers could put their butts as they sipped caffeine-laden drinks.

 “Softer,” he answers, his voice a breathy whisper. “Like the sunset.”

 Her eyes drift shut. He’s put a spell on the space with his words, and she wants to stay there for a moment. When he’s not being overeager, Peeta Mellark is charming as hell. Lord, help her.

 “Can I tell you a secret? It’s really important.”

 She tenses, but when she opens her eyes, she finds that he’s moved closer to her and propped his hip against the counter. He looks so young and hopeful there’s no way she can be scared of him.

 “If you must,” she sniffs and smiles to soften her response.

 “Lean in close. It’s a big one.” She does so slowly, and he waits patiently until she’s close enough that he can whisper, “Don’t tell our boss, but I’m a tea guy. Two lumps of sugar. I don’t even like coffee.”

 Her eyes widen for a split second, and then she bursts into laughter. Tears gather in her eyes as she shakes. “That’s not a big one!”

 “Coffee is life, Katniss. A known tea drinker would be cast out among the wolves. I’ll just stay incognito. I’m trusting you with my life here.”

 “And what if I spill it?”

 “Spill the tea?” He winks as she gasps for air. Just as quickly, he wipes his expression from his face and assumes mock sobriety. Somberly, he picks up the broom and starts to sweep. “Well, then, I guess you’ll have one fewer opponent to beat out for employee of the month.”

 The whole idea that Katniss, surly and grumpy as she is, could ever win a customer service award is so preposterous she can’t keep from giggling. By the time the café is clean, she’s a million times lighter. When they head separate ways after locking up, she watches him as he strides down the street. Before he turns the corner, he tosses a look over his shoulder and waves. She doesn’t even have to think about it. She waves back.

 ****

 They become friends, and it upends her life. Katniss isn’t used to having people around. Not since her sister passed away and left her all alone in the world. Katniss had gotten used to being an orphan, but when her sister was killed in a car crash, the loneliness and despair overwhelmed her. With Peeta around, she doesn’t feel quite so isolated anymore.

 They take short walks on shared breaks, and he leans down to pick dandelions from between the sidewalk cracks before handing them to her with a bashful grin. He shields her from overly aggressive customers during busy periods at the café, and, after several weeks, he manages to convince her that spending time together outside of work isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

 “Friends do tend to see each other in social settings,” he teases, and Katniss finally relents.

 They go to movies and basketball games and art exhibits and archery competitions and all sorts of other things she had no idea she’d enjoy until Peeta suggested the activity. Sometimes, they do mundane things like grocery shopping together. She finds she likes trying new things as long as there’s someone with her and they can debrief about what was good and bad afterward. He convinces her to try one of those art classes with BYOB wine and a pre-chosen image to paint, and she gasps when his own creation takes on a life of its own while hers seems like a bad paint with water replica. He teaches her to cook bread and cookies and cinnamon rolls, and she shares her heirloom lamb stew recipe with him. They’re comfortable together. He never pushes, never makes her feel like he needs anything more than simple friendship.

 Until, that is, the anniversary of her sister’s death.

 She should have taken off work. She knows that, but the café is short-handed. Besides, she needs the money. It’s rainy and muggy and awful when she leaves the house, and the subway is packed much more than usual. She’s jostled and pushed and touched inappropriately (although, that was likely unintentional with how closely pressed together the passengers are in the train car), so that by the time she gets to work, she’s irritable, grumpy, and a ten seconds from losing it.

 It’s possible it’s the weather or the alignment of the stars or an almost full-moon or the changing of the seasons. It could be that other people are suffering from trauma and loss and depression, as well. Or it could be that Katniss just has really bad luck.

 “This drink is wrong.”

 The harsh complaint is snapped at her by an unpleasant looking man with white hair and a beard. He looks at her like she’s something rotten on the underside of his shoe when he shoves the cup toward her and sloshes some of the hot liquid on her outstretched hand. She hisses at the burn and immediately turns to the sink to run cold water over her skin before it blisters.

 “Don’t turn your back on me! Fix my coffee.”

 Katniss tenses, her guard up, but she refuses to move. His actions burned her, and she’s following not only methods of self-preservation but also the company’s safe work policies. Injuries are to be treated immediately on the job. She’s doing that.

 He continues yelling, attracting the attention of patrons and staff. Peeta finishes with the order he’s taking and quickly intervenes, coming to her rescue whether she wants him to or not. She’s not sure which is accurate.

 “Can I help you, sir? My name is Peeta, and I’m—”

 The man squints at Peeta and raises a shaking hand toward me. He’s livid, and Peeta takes a half-step back at the fury that’s suddenly directed his way. The situation escalates. It’s not pretty. The police are called, and customers are shaken. That’s nothing compared to the way Katniss quakes inside her own skin. She’s barely holding it together when their manager intercedes.

 “Get her out of here,” Haymitch barks at Peeta before turning to the customer. The coffee cup he’s thrown at her rolls on the floor in a puddle of liquid. The name scrawled on the outside is Snow. It’s ironic. Katniss has always hated winter.

 They make it to the back before she crumbles, and Peeta lets go of her hand to help her sit down on a stack of crates. He settles next to her and pulls her into a loose embrace—tight enough so that she knows he’s there but loose so she doesn’t feel trapped. It’s the perfect way to comfort her. He’s perfect, and she’s a mess.

 The tears flow, and she’s too broken to bother to wipe them away. Shoulders shake and sobs tear from her throat in gulping heaves. At one point, she moans her dead sister’s name. It’s a mournful wail that washes over her and makes her hurt even worse. He pats her back and toys with the tip of her braid. It’s an unlikely source of solace, and it causes her to turn into him and press her face to his shoulder.

 He smells like bread, she realizes in a random flash of clarity. She’s lamenting her sister, but that scent claws at her senses and registers in the olfactory section of her brain. How odd, she thinks before a fresh wave of grief shakes her torso.

 “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. I’m here. Take as long as you need. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

 She’s not, though. She’s not all right, and she knows he understands that. He’s working with a limited vocabulary as he tries to help her. That’s what people say when they’re faced with a weeping friend. She’s done it herself. His tone of voice and gentle touch more than prove his compassion for her pain.

 She doesn’t know how long they sit there, but it’s long enough that her tears have soaked his shoulder. A sharp cough invades their little bubble, and they both glance up to see Haymitch in the doorway.

 “Clock out,” he orders in that gruff way of his. “We’ve got you both covered. Take her home, boy.” Peeta nods at the nickname without protest. It would be offensive if it meant anything other than their boss can’t remember anyone’s names, although that’s bad enough.

 Peeta hails a cab and gives her address. He escorts her to her door and unlocks it for her before guiding her inside and seating her on the couch. When he moves away, she grabs at his hand and pulls him down next to her. His arms envelop her again, and she presses her face into his neck and allows the tears to streak down her cheeks while she hiccups. She hates being vulnerable, but she trusts him. They’ve grown close over the past few months.

 Finally, she runs dry. Her sobs subside, and her body stills. He doesn’t shift, doesn’t attempt to pull away. Instead, he simply waits and gives her the space for what she needs. It’s a beautiful thing to grieve with someone who allows it to occur instead of hindering the process. She’s not okay. She won’t be for a long time, but she’s survived today. For now, that’s enough.

 “Thank you,” she mumbles against his shoulder. When he doesn’t answer, she glances up at him through wet lashes and finds him looking at her with compassion in his piercing blue eyes. She could fall into them if she’d let herself. When he lifts his hand to brush flyaway wisps of hair from her forehead, she thinks maybe she should.

 Time freezes. There’s a pulse between them that shakes the world. They’re drawn together, and she doesn’t second guess it or pull away from him. Instead, she closes her eyes and meets his mouth with hers. It’s gentle, just a sweet brush of lips, but it tastes like a reawakening, like the snow melting away and the earth coming back to life in spring.

 It’s scary. It’s terrifying. It’s also right. After the events of the past year, she deserves a new beginning.

#everlarkficexchange #springtime edition 2020 #prompt 76 #everlark #everlark fanfiction #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #don't talk to me #bring on the new beginnings #ready for the next round

[lilyharvord]

The Chain (Part 11)

Hello Darlings, it’s been a long time coming, but here is the next part of The Chain. (: Please know that there is a little bit of forcing in this chapter to make things work, but its called a plot hole, not a plot no (((: Also, she is nice and long for you guys since it has been sometime since she got some TLC. 

I’ve got two words for you all: Time Travel.

Main concept: Two love struck idiots get sent back to a pretty UGH time period in their lives (that required me to reread all the books again) and have to hide the fact that they know everything. Stupidity ensues.

Enjoy

Find the rest of the fic here: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

tag list:  @delilahlbard, @king-maven-calore, @thatoddgirl777, @elliekratzzz, @evangelineartemiasamos, @evangeline-of-montfort, @scxrletguardsdawn, @freaky-freiday, @petergrantkavinsky, @kuwei, @whatsup-gorls, @katiemoore,  @redqueenetwork, @tranquil-dusk (I’m trying to add you but for some reason it wont @... the same problem happens with @thatoddgirl777 and I have no idea how to fix it)

(/Mare/)

The barge glides through the murky water of the river and beyond the polished silver railing I rest my hand on, the shore of the Stilts rolls by like a faded oil painting. Ahead of me, hanging over the water, is an old tree Bree once dared me to crawl out on. The branches skim the water like skeletal fingers. I curl my own fingers around the railing in response to the memory of Bree’s laugh. I hope I get to hear it again, echoing in my parent’s town home. 

           The footsteps behind me are too light to be Cal. Even with all the work he has done to learn subterfuge, he is still a large human being. He’ll never be very good at sneaking up on anyone. I force an inhale when warm air washes over my side though. 

           Maven rests his forearms on the railing to watch the Stilts with me, his jaw tight and his eyes dark. I didn’t see him earlier today before we cast off, and I made sure he had no reason to speak with me now. I left nothing in those cells when I rescued Farley, not even a dusting of blood for Elara to use against me. Whatever he has come to discuss, it will define every point from now until the end.

           “Have you heard of the chess move known as the King’s Snare?” His voice is softer than I thought it would be, given how hard the planes of his face are.

           I glance at him warily, chewing on a response. I don’t want to talk to him about chess. I know he’s a master of it, that in all the years they played, Cal never beat him. Cal, the future general and war strategist who could throw together a plan in minutes with nothing but a handful of Reds, Ardents, and Silvers, never beat the boy before me. I don’t know why I think I have a hope of beat him or Elara.

           “No. I don’t play chess.” I murmur letting the wind shift the loose hairs hanging by my cheeks. It plays in his curls too, tussling them like a loving hand.

           The corner of his lips quirk up in a ghost of a smile before he turns to face me. He doesn’t flinch from my gaze, but that smile does fall. Pressing off the railing to stand at his full height, he tilts his head to the side as if in thought. “It’s a complex maneuver, and requires turns upon turns of preparation. It is the only strategy you can play once you initiate it. In each step, you make it appear as if you are losing. You let your opponent think they have won, and in the final step of preparation, you let your queen be taken and your king be cornered in a check mate.”

He shrugs before looking back onto the bank. His eyes sweep along the shacks on their tottering stilts. “Then, you take the opposing king with the only piece you have left. A pawn.”

           I raise a brow at it before saying, “sounds complicated. I don’t have the patience for playing the long game, and I especially don’t like playing with people’s lives like they are pieces in my game.”

           A fire lights in his eyes as he drags them over me, his expression hardening again. “I’m not so sure that’s the truth.”

           His words are a warning in and of themselves. Squaring my shoulders to him and stabbing my nails into my palms, I purse my lips in a line to swallow my retort. We stand in a stalemate for a moment before he reaches a finger out to let a strand of my hair curl around it. His expression crumbles for just a moment before that mask slides up and hides the wounded boy underneath.

           “Let’s not play this game Mare.” He bows his head and his lips almost ghost over my brow. I turn my head to the side to avoid the touch.

           “I just told you I’m not playing games.”

           His chuckle is humorless. With a quick step he closes the space between us completely and I have to crane my neck to meet his eye. 

           “You’re still useful to me and mother, but Cal has overstayed his welcome by a few years. His whole life actually, if I’m being perfectly honest.”

           No more dancing around it then, we are going full in with the truth. I twist my lips to the side, letting my sneer finally grace my features. “If you think for one second I’m going to let you two get away with what you did a second time, you’re wrong.”

           “Even if it means you lose everything you have coming?” He asks me that as if he actually cares. It makes me reel back while he smiles like a wolf. “We know Mare, and while it’s adorable watching you attempt to play against us, you played your final card last night.”

           My lightning dances on my fingertips. What I wouldn’t give for Tyton’s brain lightning, so that I could turn Maven’s insides into jelly and leave him on this deck before going after Elara. I should have ended all of this weeks ago. I could have, I know that for a fact. 

           “I haven’t played any of my cards yet.” I warm Maven with a raised chin. I let the mask of Mareena disappear and I let him see Mare Barrow, the girl who bested two kings, the woman who has seen more than enough front lines, and who was born in a storm on top of a mountain. She has been broken and put back together so many times that she knows every piece of herself better than she ever did before. She thrives in storms and turns them to her will like this boy turns words to his.

           “You haven’t seen anything Maven. Don’t for one second think you have cornered me.” My lips curl into a small smile as I look him over with a critical eye. “Besides, while you’re playing chess, I am playing another game entirely.”

           A muscle in his jaw flutters when I speak, and his eyes darken further.

           Pressing to my toes, I let my next words caress his lips like a kiss. “And if you two do know everything, I’m surprised you haven’t removed any and all letter openers from my reach while we’ve been together.”

           His face pales in a flush, and the air around us climbs in temperature so quickly beads of sweat begin to prickle on my brow. Ignoring the monster I’ve obviously poked awake, I set my hand on his chest right above his pounding heart and drop my eyes to his lips before looking back up to meet those icy blue eyes.

           “And as for your mother, I think I killed her too quickly the first time.”

           His tongue darts across his teeth for a second before disappearing as his lips pull back in a sneer. There is a flash of something akin to uncertainty in his eyes though. A thrill rushes through me. She didn’t tell him that part, and she might have even kept his own death from him. Interesting.

           Sliding back away from him and dropping my hand, I take in his flittering emotions he desperately tries to keep under control. I can’t image what is passing through his mind. If Elara didn’t tell him about their deaths, what else has she kept from him? It might be worth it to poke a little more and find out.

           Even as the thought of prying him open and exposing his hollow insides thrills me, I can’t help thinking of how he spent hours near my bedside after Samson had turned me inside out and left me a bleeding corpse. Nor can I ignore that once upon a time, a part of him had loved me.

           “Oh Maven,” I breathe, my chest aching once more as I look him over. “You could have been something wonderful if you had been anyone else’s.”

           His inhale is sharp, and the heat around us vanishes as he sucks it in to fuel the furnace of his emotions. The next words that leave me are as much a truth as they are a weapon that I use against him.

           “I might have loved you too, you know. I might have been happy with you.”

           His entire body goes taut like a rubber band pulled too tight. I can’t imagine what those words have done to him, I know what they do to me. They relive the ache and chase away the cold bite from the autumn breeze that cuts through my loose shirt. I have known for years that he would never truly leave me, that I will always love him in a strange way. But seeing all of this, and discovering that even when I might have had a chance to save him, there was no chance so long as Elara loved him too.

           “The game is beginning. Line up your pieces if you want to play chess.” I murmur to him before stepping around him and heading for the viewing deck. I pause long enough to glance at him over my shoulder though and say, “but just know, it’s hard to beat an opponent that knows every move you will make.”

(/Cal/)

           Mare finds me between meetings. Her dark hair is swept up in an elaborate hairstyle she picks at nervously, drawing strands out to frame her face. Glancing over my shoulder at the remainder of the council as they pass, I pause before her long enough to say colorlessly, “Is something wrong Lady Titanos?”

           The few sets of eyes that watch us look away with shrugs. Their ears are probably still tuned in, but as far as they are concerned, she is probably looking for Maven and happened to find me first.

           “Farley made contact. The Hexaprin Theater just like before.”

           She’s been gone most of the day with Maven, making appearances and smiling like the dutiful princess she is. I’m not sure how Farley could have possibly made contact with her during all of that, but it’s a relief she didn’t contact Maven first. Meanwhile, I’ve been locked up in Whitefire. My father has hardly let me out of his sight, which I suppose should be understandable. The attempt on my life shook him to his core. Even though I push back, insisting they wouldn’t try again, he refuses to let me leave the castle walls. I don’t know how I will get out to join Mare in this endeavor like she wants with the Sentinels that trail me almost everywhere I go. I guess it now truly understand how Mare felt during her time with us. I don’t blame her for constantly being irritable now. 

Still, my brow rises as the name of the theater. I know it well. When I was younger Julian used to take me to plays and tried to pique my interest in the art form. I had squirmed in my seat the whole time, eager to get out of the dark space and run outside. He gave up once I turned ten, realizing I didn’t have much love for the arts. I knew it saddened him, that he had hoped I shared the same soft spot for them that my mother did. 

My chest tightens at the thought of my uncle. I got him out of Archeon earlier than before, helping him and Sara smuggle away in the dead of night after he got Farley and Kilorn out of the cells. I sent him to Montfort with instructions to speak with Dane Davidson as soon as possible. To try and get him in contact with Guard. There’s no telling if they made it. I can only hope they managed to cross the border.

“It’ll be tough for me to get out.”

“This will only work if you come with me.” Mare insists, her eyes darting past my elbow to the doors of the council chamber. I know who she’s looking for, but she won’t find him.

“He’s seeing to something with his mother.” I instruct, even as I glance around just to be certain. Only a servant passes in a flutter of skirts. She curtsies to me and Mare before hurrying along, obviously loath to be around us any longer than necessary.

“The bloodbase.” Mare’s voice drops to a worried waver as she sets her hand on her pocket. I know she has the book hidden in the pocket of her jacket, the one Julian gifted her with the name of every Ardent he found within Norta’s borders. She sleeps with it under her pillow, her fingers curled around the faded cover as if Maven will creep into her room at night and steal it away.

Shaking my head, I grab her elbow and pull her into an alcove when I hear the sound of more steps approaching. I squeeze into the space between the pillars with her until our bodies almost have to become one to fit. Her hands rest on my chest as she evens out her breathing, recognizing a hiding place when she sees it.

A group of nobles pass us, Osanos and Iral judging by the colors of their clothes. I purse my lips and wait until they leave the hall to look back down at her and whisper. “I took care of it. I printed out all their names and wiped them from the database. They’re safe.”

“Unless Maven is already going after them.” Mare mutters bitterly.

“He hasn’t. I checked last known whereabouts too. Everyone is accounted for.”

“People lie on those stupid records Cal.”

“Not when you’re the first person in years to click on the page.” I let my lips curl into a knowing smile. She can think I’m stupid and hardheaded all she wants, but I do know my way around my own world. “There is a clicker at the bottom of each record to indicate the last time it was opened. I am the first one to look at them in years. You can’t lie to that program.”

           She expels a breath, before look up at me through her lashes. “You’re too stubborn for your own good. We’re meddling too much now.”

           “At this point, does it really matter?” I ask, repeating words I spoke to Julian in the dead of night when he questioned my decision to send him to Ascendent.

           Her lips draw into a tight line that pales her already painted lips. “No.” She agrees before sliding out of the alcove so I can follow her.

           When we step into the light, I watch the shifting sunbeams as they cut across her face. She crosses her arms before looking down the hallway and saying, “We need to get into the afternoon showing. Can you do that?”

           I grimace thinking about my father and the hawk like eyes he has kept on me recently. “It’ll be difficult, but nothing I can’t handle.”

           “Do you want to rehearse with me?” She teases, eyes lighting with laughter when she notices how I chew on my lower lip.

           “I think I’ll tell my father that I’ve decided Evangeline can take a long walk off a short pier and that I much prefer you and I plan to make heirs with you as soon as we enter than theater box.”

           Her eye widen and a blush paints her cheeks. It’s so ferocious the makeup almost can’t hide it. It makes me chuckle before reaching a hand out to cup her jaw and stroke a thumb along that warm puddle of red staining her skin. “Kidding love. Although I think that he’ll be so surprised and horrified that he lets me go just to see if I’m serious.”

           “Mess up my nice skirts Tiberias and I will take your hands for it.” She snorts before pulling away and throwing a smirk over her shoulder. “Get us tickets to the show and be there with me. Also, it might be a good idea to assign Walsh to a... different part of Whitefire.”

           I grimace, remembering the last time I saw her foaming at the mouth while I tried to close her throat to keep the poison from spreading. I sent her for Mare, trusted her with the secret that I met a Red girl in the Stilts and cared. Regardless of what Mare might have thought of me before when that moment passed, I did care. A part of me had been horrified to watch the light leave Walsh’s eyes.

           “I’ll make sure of it.” I whisper.

(/Mare/)

           The theater darkens, and I sink back into my chair, keeping an eye on the Sentinels standing in the doorway. They are here to protect Cal. Allowances had to be made so that he could leave Whitefire, but its an allowance that may cost us our meeting with Farley. There are more of them than before, but they’re simply a hinderance, one that will have to be dealt with at some point very soon.

           Honestly, Maven and Elara trying to kill him has simply become an annoyance now. If they hadn’t, it would be so much easier to sneak around with Cal.

           “They have to go.” I murmur, letting my eyes flint to them as I edge a little closer to the railing of the box and glance over it into the crowd below.

           With a quick nod, Cal leans back in his seat. Before Maven gave the secretary that came with us a mischievous smile and quick order to get rid of our tail. Cal can do no such thing without raising suspicion. It’s already gotten out that I am the one that shouted his name and stopped the bleeding during the Sun Shooting long enough for Sara Skonos to get to him and save him. But Cal spread a faster rumor behind it, his words burning like wildfire through the High Houses, erasing the rumor I know Elara started about us. My shout hadn’t been in fear according to his account, it had sounded like nerves. Maybe I’d lost Maven in the crowd and gotten overwhelmed by the proceedings, and when I had seen Cal I called to him for help. Because of that, I had been close enough to stop the bleeding when the gun went off.

           I had been shocked at the lie he told with an abandon to his father and the court, and how well he crafted it on a moment’s notice. Perhaps he needed to stop spending so much time around Dane. I had noticed that crafty man spending a suspicious amount of time trying to craft Cal into a better Statesman in the recent years.

           “Sentinel Osanos, if you could take the others into the antechamber.” He nods over his shoulder to the small sitting room attached to the box. “I doubt you and the others have any interest in this show and your presence is unfortunately ruining Lady Mareena’s first impressions of it too.”

           “I have my orders, sir.” The Sentinel warns, his eyes darting between the two of us.

           “I can handle anything that comes.” Cal lets his lips quirk into an arrogant smile. I haven’t seen it in a long time, but it’s one of the few soldiers masks in his arsenal. It still makes my stomach flutter. “Besides, Lady Mareena has proven herself quite capable of saving my life if need be.”

           Osanos debates it for a very long second as the murmurs below us quiet and the curtain rustles with the start of the performance. During that second, my heart pounds. I don’t dare look up at the grating above out heads where I know Will Whistle will appear.

           “Of course, Your Highness.” The Sentinel bows his head and then nods to bring the others with him into the room. The door clicks shut, and the lock engages. I grab Cal’s hand and squeeze it in silent praise, before glancing at him side on.

           “Impressive.”

           His smile falls as he looks away from the door and forward again. “We’ll have to be silent. We’re lucky my father didn’t send an Eagrie with us.”

           Unfolding from his position in the chair to relax further, he turns his hand over to lace his fingers with mine. The touch sends waves of reassurance through me. Now we just have to keep him hidden long enough that Will doesn’t recognize him and gets us to Farley. After that, I’m not quite sure what we will do.

           “Farley won’t let you on the Undertrain without a fight.” I murmur, glancing at our joined hands. He sweeps his thumb along my skin in a soothing motion even as his eyes stay forward on the stage as it comes to life.

Gentle touches in the dark, so very like how our relationship started. It almost makes me snicker. I suppose things never really did change between us.

He doesn’t reply to my comment, but I know he’s thinking about it all the same. His palm heats with his frustration, but he doesn’t show it on his face.

I let my eyes wander to the stage where I finally get a look at the play I never watched before. Brightly colored costumes dance across the stage and I tilt my head to look at them, trying to understand the story. “We never went to any of the plays in Ascendent.” I murmur to him.

There were plenty of playhouses, and I know for a fact Julian got us tickets to one he loved. We never got the chance to go, but now I wish we had.

“I’ve never been a fan of theater.” He chuckles and finally turns to look at me. He traded his finer regalia for a more toned down jacket and black shirt today. With the aid of the darkness, I can almost imagine we are in Ascendent, that it’s just another weekend and we decided to do something we’ve never done.

“Then when you annoy me, I am going to drag you to shows when we get back and tie you to a chair so you can’t leave.” I say with a smirk.

The ceiling panel above our heads slides away, and his eyes dart up at the same time as mine. We’re both accustomed to how the Guard functions. The sudden disappearance of the tile doesn’t surprise him like it did Maven.

“Show time.” I whisper to him before dropping his hand and stepping on the seat of my chair. Grasping the edge of the hole I haul myself up into the darkness. When I glance down to help him though, he is already half-way into the crawl space with me. The panel slides into place as soon as Cal vanishes in the shadows. I wait half a second for Will to sound an alarm to notice that I don’t have the right prince with me.

He does no such thing, simply speaks into the darkness the same words he did before. “Be quick and quiet. I’ll take you from here.”

I reach for Cal’s wrist in the dark and grip it tightly with a reassuring squeeze. Will turns and begins to climb through the space, not waiting for us to follow.

“Watch your head,” I instruct as I skirt the edge of the ceiling panel. “It gets low in a few places.”

Cal grunts in understanding but follows at a pace that surprises me. It was a tight squeeze for Maven, so I don’t really know how Cal manages but he does. I’m sure he has Farley’s work with him to thank for that. He crawled through enough sewer tunnels and drains with us while we were at the Notch after all. I’m sure while I was locked away with Maven he was doing the same thing too.

The sounds of the play overhead mask our movements as we drop down ladders and steps and through little trapdoors. Cal only smacks his head once, and I flip around to grab his head to check for blood when he curses soundly in the dark. I grimace when I feel the nasty knot already taking shape on his forehead near his hairline. That will have to be explained away when we get back, but we really truly don’t have time to assess it too much. Will sets grueling pace, and Cal practically shoves me forward when the Whistle almost disappears around a turn.  

It takes only minutes for us to drop into the access tunnels that connect to the Undertrain platform. The damp chill of the space presses through my thin jacket and pants, reminding me of the march we did into Archeon to save Cal and everyone from the Lakelander invasion. Cal drops lightly down behind me though, and instantly the space warms and the memory fades. It’s still too dark to see his features clearly which is only to our advantage. I can’t have Will trying to stop us now.

That cover does not last long though. The platform is haunted by a lone torch, and when Will turns around with a sharp smile, ready to bask in our surprise, his eyes widen as he takes in Cal behind me. I set my hand on Cal’s chest in response, trying to push him back into the shadows while I light my hand with lightning.

Will never gets a chance to act though, the furious screech of the Undertrain as it rushes into the station shakes the walls and announces Farley’s arrival. As it coasts to a stop in front of us, Will spins to the doors and waves his arms while trying to shout over the screeching of the brakes to give a signal to not stop. The train grinds to a halt though, and the doors still open to spill more light onto the platform.

Farley unfolds from the chair like a spring let loose. Her hand flies to the gun at her hip, and I spin to face her with my lightning at the same time. Even with my ears ringing from the sound of the brakes engaging, I can hear the click of her turning the safety off as she draws the gun.

“Farley—” I try to shout, but Cal beats me to speaking, his voice a dangerous warning echoing in the tunnel as he glares Farley down.

“Diana, stop.”

He would have gotten the same reaction if he burned her alive. Farley’s eyes widen at the usage of her birthname, and her fingers wavers on the trigger long enough for me to speak.

“He’s with us.” I urge as I drop my hand, but I don’t dismiss the lightning bouncing between my fingers like webbing. It’s my own warning to her. She knows what I can do, and like her, I don’t miss anymore.

Her laugh is unexpected, and I almost jump at the sharp bite of it. She keeps the gun raised, but her fingers slides from the trigger to rest alongside the barrel. It’s the only sign she is still listening to us. “The little prince was right. He’s whispered his way into your head.”

“The only ones whispering into anyone’s heads is Maven and Elara .” Cal speaks quietly, his eyes scanning the track and the platform for any more Scarlet Guard operatives. There are none to be seen though.

Farley tilts her head to the side, her eyes narrowing to diamond colored slits. Her jaw tightens, but she doesn’t pull the trigger or even move her finger in the direction of it.

I expel a slow sigh of relief and take a step forward. I can feel the burn of electricity in the train, screaming like an upset toddler to be released. Gritting my teeth against the heachache forming because of it, I murmur, “you trusted me to get you out of that cell, trust me in this Farley. Hear us out.”

Her eyes moves past my shoulder to Cal who staggers his stance to move in either direction if he has to avoid her bullet. Her jaw ticks, and the electricity reaches an all time high pitch that stands my hairs on end. I haven’t felt anything like it weeks, not since the shield during Queenstrial exploded around me and tried to contain me.

“Make your decision, the Undertrain won’t wait.” I grimace as I reach up to press my fingers to my temple where the ache is strongest. If she notices my use of the train’s name, she doesn’t say anything.

Cal takes a step forward, stealing ground, only for Farley train that gun on him again and rest her finger on the trigger. 

“Not another step, Your Highness.” She squeezes gently, putting enough pressure on that trigger that even the slightest movment on her part will fire the gun. I side step to put myself in front of Cal should she overestimate her abilities, but Cal simply pushes me to the side again.

With quick movements he unclasps the bracelets around his wrists and holds them up to the light for Farley to see. “Incentive,” he murmurs before tossing them in her direction. She lowers the gun to catch them one handed, almost dropping them due to their weight. I inch forward, my hand extended for them in surprise. I trust Cal to make a tactical decision, but he just threw his own tactical advantage five feet away from him.

The metal bands glint dully in the odd florescent lights of the Undertrain, but Farley glances down at them, unimpressed. With a quirked brow she raises the gun again, although its much more hesitant this time.

“I’m nothing without them.” Cal instructs while he sweeps his arms out from his sides as if to accentuate his point. “Keep them until we finish talking if it pleases you. But we do have to talk.”

“I know.” Farley reasons, her eyes narrowing before darting between the two of us. Even if I didn’t know her as well as I do, I could see the distrust and unease in her eyes. I can’t imagine what Maven has told her, but I know that he hasn’t spoken to her since before the Sun Shooting. It is our only advantage right now, that and the fact that Julian and I were the ones to get her and Kilorn out of the cells below the palace. It doesn’t hurt either that by the time we got down to the cells, the king was more concerned with his son almost dying than the rebels trapped in the cell before him. There had been no time for the interrogation that I know almost cost Farley her arm. She got off easy, too easy, because of us.

Whatever battle she is fighting with herself ends, and she steps to the side to let us pass.

(////)

Narcery is more disheveled than I remember. Perhaps it’s because I’ve already seen most of it repaired and turned into a decent city again years from now. Or maybe it’s because I’ve truly forgotten how downtrodden the world was before we began to right it. Either way, it’s hard not to grimace as we slink through the streets toward the café Farley stomps toward.

The Reds in the doorwards gasp and whisper as Cal passes, and I reach down to grip his hand. None of them are New Blood that I know of, but if someone gets it in their head to finish was Farley started, they won’t make it more than two steps.

He gives me a reassuring squeeze as we pass through the crumbling doorway of the café and into the dimly lit space. In his little booth, Kilorn practically almost leaps to his feet, his eyes wide while his hand flies to the gun on his belt.

“Stand down.” Farley orders smoothly, earning a frown from my friend. He doesn’t immediately listen, but his fingers eventually relax and drop back to his side. I release the tension in my shoulders in response. The air in the room shifts with the change in heat and static that Cal and I bring, but the ice in Kilorn’s gaze might as well be tangible too.

“And why haven’t we shot him?” He asks Farley as she drops into the booth.

With a wave of her hand, she dismisses him and glares in our direction. Cal’s bracelets clink against the dusty table as she sets them out in the open. With a tilt of her head, her expression relaxes and the nasty scar cutting through her lip softens. It never ceases to amaze me how young she really was when this all started. We were all still just children, playing games we never should have.

“They want to speak,” she says, her eyes dropping to our entwined hands. “And I have to admit I am curious what excuse Mare will give to explain blowing our entire operation to pieces.”

“We hardly blew it to pieces, you were almost completely successful.” Cal huffs behind me, and I dig my elbow into his side in response. No use pissing off Farley, or enticing her to pull that gun out again. We both know she will too.

Glaring at Cal for his comment, I address the other two sitting in the booth. “Maven gave you Cal’s name, but he was not the original target.”

“No,” Farley agrees, “he wasn’t.”

“It was Ptolemus Samos.” I turn my eyes back to her, and am rewards with a quirked brow, the only sign she is surprised by my knowledge. Kilorn is not as good at hiding his emotions. His brows dart up towards his hair line as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“You missed that meeting, the one where he gave us the original names! He told us that he never told you them... you can’t possibly have known—”

“I know because I’ve already been through that shooting before. You don’t get Ptolemus that time either.” I step forward and leave Cal behind me, safely in the line of my body. If Farley wants to shoot him at any point in time, she’ll have to shoot me first. “The Sun Shooting was a disaster that time, and it was a disaster this time.”

Kilorn blinks at me, confusion sweeping over his face now. Farley is simply more skeptical, and rightfully so. I didn’t exactly explain anything, just created more questions and puzzling conclusions for her.

“What are you getting at Barrow?” She murmurs as her eyes dart to the broken window behind me. I don’t dare look at who might be there. If its Shade, I will never be able to leave these ruins.

“You have to promise to listen to us, to let us explain as quickly as possible.” Cal speaks for me and the heat that rolls off of him washes over me as he steps closer, soothing tense muscles I bunch in preparation to run. His hand presses into my lower back only a second later. “We don’t have much time.”

Farley’s eyes narrow even further as she takes in how we stand next to each other, and how we remain close enough to protect the other at all times. Even if Maven told her that I was slowly teetering toward Cal, our body language suggests a deeper relationship and understanding of each other than could ever be established in a few weeks. Not to mention Cal knew her name, her real name. There’s no way in hell he could have found that out on his own.

“Who are you?” She asks quietly after a moment, earning a worried glance from Kilorn.

My lips curl into a slow smile as I take in her uncertainty. I can’t remember the last time Farley was on the backfoot. She has always been so headstrong and driven, but she reels back now, like a horse seeing a snake under its hooves. “We’ve all met before, and known each other for years.”

“Bullshit.” She says, pushing to her feet and advancing on me. Cal’s fingers curl around my arm to pull me behind him. I stand my ground though and raise my chin as she stand over me.

“How’s your dad? The Colonel? Has that eye healed up yet?” I ask with a quirked brow. Her breathing fluctuates at the mention of him while she stops dead in her tracks. Her eyes dart to Cal as if to assess how much he reacts to my words. He does nothing but glance down at me and drop my arm, catching on to what I’m doing. Farley won’t be bought over with a cute story like what we told Julian and Sara. She will need cold hard evidence, painful evidence if need be.

“It’s kind of cute that you decided your code name would be lamb, since his is ram.” I tilt my head to the side, earning an strangled inhale as she backpaddles. “Even more so given how infuriating he can be for you.”

Her whole face goes red, and tips of her ears tinge pink immediately. Kilorn opens his mouth to say something, thinks better of it, and closes it again. I don’t blame him, the fury in Farley’s eyes is enough to burn me to the ground.

With her lips pressed into a firm line, she presses her shoulders back to stand to her full height. “Are you Command?” She asks stiffly, her eyes roaming over me and settling on Cal when he barks out a dry laugh.

I elbow him again and shoot a glare, but he laughs at my expression. Turning his amusement on Farley, he says, “no. I’m not even on the list of people they would open a position for.”

“We know those in Command though.” I shoot a single spark into Cal’s arm to shut him up, making him snap back and rub the spot.

“I don’t believe you. Its not possible.” Farley growls setting her hand on her gun.

“I would appreciate you not drawing that gun Diana.” Cal warns his amusement dying as fast as my comfort with the situation.

“Who told you my name.”

“I know it from previous experience.”

“Don’t see how that’s possible.” Kilorn grumbles before rising from the booth as well. His eyes dart between the two of us, and as he starts to form his own opinon the curiosity in his eyes bleeds away into brittle resentment.

“Like I said, we’ve known each other for years.” I push past my locked jaw. This is starting to look next to impossible but if we have any hope of saving ourselves from the disaster to come, then we have to get them to listen to us.

“To be more clear, we will know each other for years someday.” I correct my previous statement quietly, letting the words hang in the too heavy air for a few seconds. Farley quirks a brow, realization crossing her features as she starts to put things together. She’s always been quick as a whip, and that works to our advantage.

Right when I think she’s about to say something though, she laughs. Kilorn blinks at her, taking a hesitant step away. I doubt he’s ever heard the sound, but I know it well. It still cracks on the edges the same way it does in the future. Honestly, it always sounds like she never laughs, even though I know for a fact she does that more than anything someday.

“Barrow, I have seen what you can do. And while it turned everything I knew about the world upside down… you cannot expect me to also factor some form of time travel into this whole mess.” She shakes her head, and dismisses me with a wave. Still laughing to herself she sinks down into the booth, and takes to fiddling with Cal’s bracelets. There is a hint of uncertainty behind her eyes though, and I know exactly who and what she is thinking about.

“There are hundreds—thousands like me Farley. You haven’t met all of them yet, but there are abilities far stranger than mine. My brother’s for instance.”

Her expression pulls tight for a heartbeat before she smoothers the emotion. I pull on that line though, and step forward, pointedly ignoring Kilorn who is still gapping like a fish and trying to come to the same conclusion as Farley. “I know he’s alive, and that he’s here with you. He jumps, appearing in different places in seconds. I make lightning. There will be a New Town girl who becomes our friend that can kill you with a thought and silence Silvers in the same way. There are three other Reds just like me in Montfort. There is a girl who can bathe everyone in a bubble of silence so no one outside of it can hear you. Another woman can remember every single thing she reads or that is said to her. Another older woman can change her face to be whoever you need her to be.” My heart squeezes at the memory of all the Ardents I rescued and then sent to their deaths. I promised them safety, security, and then pulled all of that away from them. All because one man told me I had to do it. “Is it so hard to believe then that there is someone years from now who can send people back in time?”

Those diamond eyes snap to me and look me over before Farley’s lips twist into a half sneer. “Your brother is dead Barrow, he was executed for—”

“Farley, please.” I whisper, coming to stand over her. Even sitting she is almost as tall as me, but I channel every ounce of military prowess she tried to teach me as I glare down at her. “If I walk out of this room, I will find him in less than an hour, and you will feel incredibly stupid when I do.”

Her lips pale as she pushes them together, tighter than ever before. Her eyes dance to Cal beyond me again, who has thankfully kept his mouth shut this whole time and has decided to simply sit on the edge of a table to watch us.

“He came with me.” I soften my tone and slowly sink down into the seat opposite her. Her eyes follow me like a rabbit would a wolf. Her fingers are cold when I take them, even with how warm it is in the room. She doesn’t pull away though, and I wonder if somewhere, her future self recognizes my touch. “I need you to trust us. I know how hard that is with everything that has happened, but Farley you have to.”

“Do we win?” She asks the question so quietly, I almost miss it while I’m speaking. Every muscle in body tenses against the truth that wants to escape though. I glance at Cal, wondering if he heard the same thing as me. He simply looks down at his boots, unable to offer any aid.

Swallowing past the rock in my throat, I look down at the table top. It’s dusty and cracked in some places. But it has no answers either. We have already done so much to destroy the path we were supposed to be on, what was one more change? “Yes,” I whisper and her eyes flash bright and wide.

“But we pay may terrible prices for it.” The last part almost doesn’t make it out. Shade’s death tries to claw that statement to ribbons, Archeon burning, and all the people we lost in the Harbor Bay siege and the final Archeon siege weigh heavy against my chest. The silence stretches to the breaking point around us as those memories consume me. I wish I could take back those words, swallow them and refrain from admitting to what I’m sure she suspects. She must read the memories as they pass across my face because her expression softens a hint.

“Its war Barrow,” the Farley I know so well comes to the surface when she switches her grip to grab my hands instead. “I never expected to win for free.”

She narrows her eyes at Cal then, who simply gives her a tight nod she doesn’t return. “I still don’t like you.” She announces a second later. “And I hope I never do.”

“You give me a hard time for years, I promise you that much.” He teases, some of the light returning to his eyes. I crack a weak smile at their banter, even though I ache at the reminder of the future relationship they share. Farley never does let him off the hook, and every chance she has to remind him of his past, she does. I don’t blame her though, she never lets herself get too congenial with anyone.

“We trust him… just like that?” Kilorn tries to burn a hole between Cal’s eyes with his glare. He doesn’t succeed, especially when Cal smirks at him and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He’s the picture of ease, and I know that drives Kilorn insane.

“Relax Kilorn,” I tease, and then beckon Cal over to me. “He knows that if he steps out of line I won’t hesitate to put him back in his place.”

Farley glances between the two of us before saying, “So the second prince wasn’t lying. You two are…”

“In this together.” Cal finishes for her. His eyes narrow at what Maven might have inferred even as he looks down at me for confirmation.

“We don’t have time to get into details,” I add, making room for him in the booth as I lean forward to start drawing a map of Archeon in the dust on the table. “Maven and his mother know what we know. Which means they have been pulling the strings and trying to sabotage any advantage we have. They will not hesitate to wipe the Scarlet Guard off the map this time around.”

“I don’t understand.” Kilorn grumbles and crosses his arms tightly across his chest. “I thought we trusted that prince?”

“Maven is the one we have to worry about.” I finish drawing the bridge and narrow my eyes at the crude drawing. “He was always going to betray us.”

“How?” Farley sneers, obviously not happy with me inferring that she made a mistake in judgement. Maven was her recruit after all. “He’s given us names, information.”

“All fed to him by his mother, who is counting on us tomorrow night staging a coup and failing so that she can murder the king and remove you and any true Scarlet Guard opposition.” I murmur and watch as Farley’s fury melts into horrible understanding. My stomach drops but Cal speaks before I can.

“He’s already spoken with you and made the plan.” His voice is cold, even while the space around us starts to burn with the heat he releases. My own lightning wants to be unleashed as well. It takes more effort than I like to reign it in. I was wrong. He did speak with her, about more than just me and Cal. 

“He said Barrow would try to come to me and change my mind, that I had to know she was in collusion with you and planned to stand by your side when the time came. That she would ultimately betray me.” Farley breathes, her eyes widening. “He said that the coup was the only way we would win, remove you two in one swoop.”

“He and Elara were counting you believing him wholly and me not bringing Cal.” I growl, and swipe my hand through the map on the table to erase it. The plan is useless at this point. Maven already took it and molded it to his needs. I should have never spoken to him on the barge, maybe I should have just continued to pretend I was some stupid girl that didn’t know how to play the game. I may have destroyed any hope we had of beating him and Elara now.

“They also aren’t counting on us having any other plan. Or my support.” Cal murmurs before drawing his own map in the dirt. The angle is far different from what I drew. “They don’t know that I know the future or that I am with you all. They think Mare is the only one.” His finger moves through the dust and Kilorn finally edges closer to see what he draws.

“So we play into their hands.” He murmurs as he glances at me for my support.

“What?” I wheeze as I watch him draw the same offensive we instigated last time. “Cal, if we do that—”

“Then it all goes the way it did before, with the added benefit that when you get captured this time, we can stop Elara. We know what’s coming and we can plan for it.” Cal finishes drawing his map before drawing a second more detailed map of the Whitefire next to it. “This time, we won’t be alone in that room.”

I struggle to keep up with his thought process, trying to determine exactly how he plans to make this work. The only way Farley and the other Scarlet Guard members will make it into that room is in shackles like me. Elara will slaughter us all like pigs then. 

“The tunnels run under Whitefire right?” He asks Farley who hesitates for a second before nodding tersely. He etches a few makeshifts ones into the picture and then sits back to say, “when I take Mare captive for treason, you and a small unit will move through the tunnels and get to the throne room. From there, you wait for a signal Mare and I will give. When that happens, we take Elara and Maven.”

“Bold.” Farley murmurs as she glances over the plan. “And suicidal. We’ll never make it in.”

“You will if I don’t station anyone at a specific entrance. Name it, and I will keep the regiments away from it.” Cal waves his hand over the picture and glances forlornly in my direction. “If it fails, we still go to the Bowl of Bones, but this time we’ll know what to expect.”

My heart pounds in my chest as the memory of the too thin sand shifting beneath my feet almost overtakes me. Even though it is years behind me and days ahead of me, the heat of Cal’s fire trying to catch on the sand still burns my cheeks and my stomach twists at the echoing sound of the bar punching through Arven’s chest.

“In the meantime, you need to evacuate Tuck.” I whisper forcing the bile down as I look up at Farley. She blanches at the command, but I narrow my eyes to silence her. “Elara has seen in my mind. She knows about Tuck, she knows about a number of other Scarlet Guard strongholds like Narcery too. Did you not find it strange that Maven was not afraid to travel to a supposed heavily radiated place?”

She opens her mouth to argue with me, only to shut it like a trap and narrow her eyes. The thought never occurred to her, and I understand why. He probably got on the Undertrain and immediately started spilling honey and poison in her ear until she couldn’t even hear herself think. I can’t blame her for anything, he did the same to me, and I lapped at it like a starving child.

“Where will we go?” Kilorn whispers anxiously, his eyes darting to the street outside, as if a regiment might come marching down it right now. I don’t blame him. My friend is brave, always has been and always will be, but a Silver regiment is no laughing matter to him yet.

Cal stiffens next to me and says, “Irabella is the only safe haven. Mare was never there, but I was.”

“Why—”

“I doesn’t matter.” I interrupt Kilorn, and lean forward to speak again. “You just have to trust us. Tell the Colonel you have reason to believe Tuck and a number of other bases have been compromised. That an informate you have high up in the palace you trust explicitly told you that. The Notch is not safe either.”

Farley’s eyes widen, and it is then I realize that the mention of that safe haven is what finally secures her trust. The Notch was her hiding hole. Not one her father came up with. Command might not have even known about it. If what Cal and I said was true, and we were her allies in the future, she may have taken us there at some point. I wish I would have been smart enough to start with the mention of it. We could have saved time.

“And you need to start finding the others like me.” I whisper, as I pull the book out of my jacket pocket and set it on the table. The cover gleams against the dusty surface of the table, and I almost can’t pull my fingers off of it. The fates of so many reside inside of it. Cameron’s furious expression flashes through my mind as I ordered her taken onto the Blackrun. I will not force her into anything this time though. I only hope I don’t have to rescue her from a prison though.

I slide the book to Farley and trail my fingers off the cover as I whisper, “Maven and Elara might already be on the hunt for the Ardents in here, but I circled the names of the people that we rescued together. He will target them first if he is going after them, so you have to beat him to it.”

She picks up the book gingerly before looking between us and saying, “you mentioned the Bowl of Bones.”

Cal smiles wearily but leans back with the poise of a general to say, “we won’t have to worry about it. We’re going to avoid that point all together.”

Farley’s fears are not soothed by Cal’s confidence, and I can almost see the spikes she wants to drive through his eyes. At least she nods though, agreeing with him for the time being. I can’t even begin to express the relief that courses through me as she puts the book in her own pocket and nods once more.

“Then we will go with your signal.”

#The Chain #my writing #my fanfics #red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #holy shit #okay we're back on it #we're also rapidly approaching oh shit territory #but its gonna be so much FUN #enjoy children #marecal #the eternal ship #they're so smart and so stupid at the same time #I love them #enjoy everyone #sorry it took so long to get out #I got distracted #we love that ADHD life

[btsandvmin]

why do u think fandom brozone vmin so much? it doesnt happen nearly as often w other ships

I have talked about this a great deal before, and for good reason. It does happen a lot, and it has always been like this. At least I can speak for the years I have been in the fandom as the first post I ever made properly was about this exact topic. (The “bromance” issue) It’s short and a bit outdated, and honestly we also have to admit that while a lot of people still keep insisting on Vmin not being shippable and being “brozoned or friendzoned” there are also a lot more people who both ship Vmin and even see actual real potential in them being more. (You can even tell by the increase in analysis here on tumblr.)

Personally regarding the “issue” of how Vmin are viewed I am no longer as annoyed with it as I used to be. I do think it’s mainly a problem when other shippers come and say it about Vmin, because that is frankly just hypocritical. I have also written  Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” and  Shipping vs Believing that explains more about my views on the subject of friendzoning and shipping as a whole. (Personally I feel Vmin get more friendzoned than brozoned, but that’s just a minor detail.)

But your question was about why you think the fandom brozone/friendzone Vmin so much, so let’s get to that.

First of all I obviously think there are several reasons, but this is all based on my speculations after being in this fandom for so long and what I have seen. Every person could have their own very different reasons to why they think the way they do. I think all the reasons play a part, but might not be equally important and might also not apply to every single person, but rather affect the fandom as a whole in one way or another.

So let’s break it down to the things I think play the biggest role in why Vmin are seen as platonic, regardless of if they are or not, just simply compared to a lot of the other ships.

1. They have since the start used the label “friend” or “best friend” to describe each other. In particular the label “chingu” of course, which in actuality is used to described someone of the same age that you are close with. 

2. The English translation and constant use of “friend” will when repeated constantly get stuck in people’s minds and affect how they view a dynamic. Just how “hyung” gets translated to brother, but a lot less well known and noted by the fandom. Basically the western fandom will likely get even more platonic feelings towards Vmin because of the word being translated to friends.

3. Compared to the other “chingus” in the group, Namjoon and Hobi, there is much more emphasis on Vmin as the same age and as being close and best friends. Namjoon himself made a comment on this. I also think the use of “friends” or more recently “soulmates” by editors is a reply to this, basically that the editors too use these words because they are used a lot by the members first. Hence it gets doubly reinforced. Every time we hear it or read it we get another reminder of Vmin being friends.

4. Their early dymanics were less soft. A lot of their interactions were teasing like Taehyung’s “Jiminie pabo” and fans saw it as two siblings or friends rather than as the “teasing your crush”. Basically people didn't read their behavior as romantic. When BTS first started Vmin already called each other best friends, and that stuck, even more so in combination with people basically not seeing any "spark" between them. I would call this preference in a lot of cases.

5. There were in the beginning already a lot of competition between ships. Jimin often focused in a lot on JK and basically flirted with him while he at the same time brushed off Tae when he did similar towards Jimin. Meanwhile Tae and JK had a very physical relationship as well and JK often seemed the most open and comfortable with Tae. I think both of Vmin kind of pushing themselves on and teasing JK was a dynamic many shippers like. Meanwhile you aslo had Yoonmin getting popular due to Yoongi seeming a bit soft on Jimin and Jimin being very open and loud with wanting attention from Yoongi.

6. Some people find Vmin's dynamics boring. To a lot of shippers “too” obvious closeness might be a little boring and get labeled as just being friends or bros. This was in particular evident in the early days of Vmin. It also matters for fan content, and we can see a lot of Vmin fiction use a bit more “soft” tropes and might not get as many readers as more conflict driven plot. For me I would also include Vmin’s bias towards each other as another point here, that people might see as too much if they are a couple and have to hide. Basically a lot of people don’t see friendship to romance as the most interesting, or the "obvious and equal dynamic" as interesting. BTS said Vmin were the closest or the “best duo” etc. but since all of them were close people picked based on preference for their ship. Of course this still applies to shippers now, they fall for the type of dynamic they like, but now they also have a easier time getting convinced by material from other shippers. Having analysis is another thing that can make a ship more appealing as well.

7. Speaking of, fan content getting created and spread will reinforce certain images. Reading BTS fanfiction or watching moment videos you will see a lot of Vmin being “the best friends”. Basically once the image is used a lot, it will get more spread and used even more. It will be a constant in many places and when talking to a lot of people. It will also of course pull people in to other ships that makes Vmin impossible. Not to mention the big ships will get bigger and spread more easily.

8. Now this might not be true for a lot of people. But I have come across a lot of fans who seem to think being a friend is something that makes romance less likely. For me I want my partner to be my best friend as well, but a lot of people do see these two things as mutually exclusive. Many see friend and lover as two very different things and that you have one best friend and one partner, not someone that are both. Basically just the view on friendships and labels and how that might lead to some feeling being romantically involved is something separate from a close friendship. 

9. Other ships spreading the narrative even further. It’s easier to just call Vmin friends, honestly. It’s often hard to deny their closeness (not that you should have to just because you ship something else, doesn’t change reality). But Vmin being so close and being part of the three biggest ships in BTS of course their label as best friends will be spread and used even more by those shippers. And because of the size of those ships it eventually gets turned into not just those shippers views, but the whole fandom’s.

10. More recently I would also say fear is a reason why people push back and try to remind the fandom that Vmin are “just friends”. Because we have very bad examples of what happens when shipping goes too far, basically it makes many non shippers try to protect Vmin from the same faith. Not a bad thing (again, as long as you don’t ship something else and is a hypocrite), but it surely does further the narrative of Vmin being very platonic. (A bad group is of course included here, which are homophobic fans, but since they feel the same about all ships it’s just a sidenote.)

11. Lastly, and probably most influentual, is the fact that Vmin and BTS friendzone Vmin in many ways, constantly. 

I won’t go into all the examples, but I think we all know a few moments even at the top of our heads by now.

I mean.... They called their song about being soulmates and wanting to be together for eternity "Friends". And maybe that's what they are, but they sure like to remind us.

So we have times when BTS or Vmin basically remind us and spells it out even more clearly that Vmin are FRIENDS. They use it very very often, and personally to me sometimes at very weird moments. Even so, the things most fans see will of course be what they say. Vmin are friends and that is it.

And at face value that is true. I just personally don’t see being best friends (and soulmates) as meaning they can’t be more as well. Especially since they wouldn’t even be able to say more than that. I mean, if Vmin are basically described as the closest in BTS, then why does that mean they have less odds of being real? Being friends doesn’t have to equal being only friends.

However, Vmin have in fact said things against being interested/denied the other, I don’t want to lie. I am sure some would see this as 100% truth and use it againt the possibility of Vmin being real. Like when Taehyung basically said he would rather date Hobi.

However, Jimin said he would definitely choose Taehyung to date, but that gets ignored by people who ship Jimin with others, so it’s really just about choosing what fits your narrative. All ships have contradicting moments or statments or answers where they answer two different things at two different times in general.

We also have how Jimin answered back to Taehyung about liking men by saying he isnt “like that” to Taehyung.

There are moments like this, and even though they might be small and forgotten by most I think they could in a sense still have registered in some fans who then basically managed to spreak the “vmin are just bros/friends” into the more common perception. 

However we also have opposite moments when they try to appeal to each other, or like when Taehyung asks Jimin to be the girlfriend etc. and personally though I do take these things into account it’s a bit like when you see members say “men can’t do this or that” and it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be queer. To me even though there are things against most ships, there are still a lot that speaks for some, and that’s why I remain unsure.

Sometimes you might get more defensive or nervous if there is some truth in there as well. It’s all about interpretation, even though I don’t want to blatantly ignore what they say. But since they have said and done directly contradicting things (like how Jimin said he would choose to date Tae while also saying he doesn’t act like “that” to Tae, or how they have changed a lot of answers in general) I also don’t see it as something definitely against them being more. Not to mention time can change things as well. 

In the end though this isn’t about what other things there might be that show Vmin might be more than friends or not, but simply reasons for the fandom’s view of them as platonic. (Personally I think they do a lot of things not normally seen as platonic, which is obviously the reason for me having this blog and writing anlysis on them.)

So, Vmin is friendzoned by the group, and by shippers of bigger ships, and even by themselves at times. Then everything else is reinforcement and inability to view them as anything more than friends.

There are some other things I think might play a part in it as well, but most comes down to personal preferences or what you get exposed to. Like who is the bias of the shipper and what things do they come across to make them a shipper, what kind of dynamics do they like etc. (It's more likely for someone who "falls" for JK to have JK in his ship, for example. Because they will focus on him and notice his interactions and then likely fall for a certain dynamic.)

History is a huge factor in general, and trying to change the perspective of the fandom might not be easy. But with a lot of new fans coming in and seeing with their own eyes how Vmin have behaved the last two years in particular, I think we can see a change.

Vmin are loved by the majority of this fandom, and that’s far better than them having people be anti them because of their ship being too big or too toxic. So in the end I do feel it’s a good things for them and for us that Vmin is being viewed as mostly platonic while they manage to slowly include more “normally not platonic things” into their platonic box. (I mean we are at a point where they can casually mention sleeping together and sing about being soulmates and hold hands in public).

Thank you for the ask and I hope you found this interesting. This is a topic I have a lot of opinions on and think is interesting myself, so I hope you enjoyed this post. No matter what we all know that one truth won’t change; 95z is love!

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin friendzoned #vmin friends #vmin bromance #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #btsandvmin

[taiey]

RELEASE the jonelias soulmate au!!!

okaaay

i revised it At All so all the problems u identified r mostly now New Problems :disdain: also i made it more about basira ♥

—

"You could have stopped me," John said. His heartbeat seemed to be pounding in synch with the waves against the ship. "But you wanted to know as well, didn’t you?"

He watched Basira stare at him until uncertainty cracked through the edges of her stoic mask. She believed him—or she might—he was right, wasn't he?—it didn't matter. He couldn't think. His whole skin itched, and if she would just—stop saying things, like that, then—

"Get some rest," he said. "Two days yet."

She kept looking at him a long moment more, but she turned away, drifted slowly towards the cabins like Floyd had, just minutes ago. Could he breathe, now? Could he think, without—

He thought he'd understood her. What she cared about, how she thought of him. Practical, pragmatic, logic and use and action, that was supposed to be it, he could cope with that, he didn't need more than that. You’re the one who wants to be like Gertrude. And yet still...

It was fine. Wasn't it? She'd accepted it. He could stop worrying about all her - expectations - and think about what he learned of Salesa (about every drop of horror Floyd had felt) or Ny Alesund, or why he kept wanting to scratch at the back of his neck.

He wrapped his hand over the spot in hopes the pressure would help at least; just above where his hair had grown out to, but sitting under the edge of his shirt collar. Nothing about it felt odd, nothing raised or ridged or rashed or any other texture to inform him.

Yet he knew, as he touched it, as he flinched away, what mark lay under his fingers, and what it meant.

John had always preferred second-genre romance novels, he thought numbly. Back when he'd had nothing better than second-hand books to give his time to. First-genre tended to fall so strongly into the same formulae that their similarities drowned out the peculiarities of the plot, characters, and style. After all, there were only so many ways that you could position two people to already know they were soulmates and keep them apart for the length of a satisfying novel.

The stories about couples who knew each other first and worked through their varied conflicts and became soulmates were far rarer. More unique.

He stared over the railings of the ship into false-midnight sea, watching the shadows of the waves in the dim, slanting light. The academic study of soulmates was - never something he'd been particularly interested in. That they really were happier, less likely to divorce, often more similar—that much, he knew had been verified. Something on the position of soulmate marks; usually discreet but easy to display, sometimes bright and brazen, but for disfavoured couples—gay people in homophobic societies had been the main category—they could appear in far more hidden places. They did usually show up in places that a person could see with their own eyes, or were tactile—but that fit, in its own way.

He caught his hand wandering up to the back of his neck, and wrapped it around the railings. The paint was slightly flaked under his fingers, and he tried to focus on that instead. He knew, nevertheless, exactly what shape the mark was, and exactly where its mate was.

No one had ever ascertained why or how certain people developed matching images. That was the province of, of glossy magazines and websites about crystals or star signs. The only person he could ever consider treating as a reliable source who had a theory on them was Gerard Keay. Gerry. John had asked him what sort of powers there were; if there could be any beyond fear.

"Well, sure, " he had said. "There's whatever does soulmates."

"What?"

"Yeah, they're obviously not normal, " he had smirked. John had never really thought to put them in the same category before. They were too ordinary for that, even if he'd never personally known anyone with a soulmate, nor did they appear in any of the statements more than incidentally. "But they don't go all scary either, so... there's got to be something out there that's very interested in nice happy loving romantic relationships. Specifically. Of all things. Dunno why. If it was interested in anything else that's good for humans it could probably do a better job than that."

If it was interested in anything else that was good for humans... John sighed. He couldn't see any argument for why this would be good. Probably it - didn't need to be, for anyone but the two in question. There were lurid stories sometimes, headlines in supermarkets and online ads, serial-killer-terrorist-criminal-soulmates, the horror! At best that sort were rare enough to be shocking. Or maybe people ignored them.

This was one argument that he was still human, at least. There was nothing else reassuring in the idea that this was a match of... pure compatibility.

It hadn't even been the hunting, he knew. Wasn't even seeking out strangers to tear the trauma from their mind and drag them into his dreams and haunt their waking steps. That - that, he could have blamed on something else. The Eye, or the Web, maybe. No, the resolution of conflict here was - was something else.

He hadn't noticed the exact moment; he had, after all, been a little distracted. But somewhere between telling Basira he was sure about this, and telling her that it was Floyd Matharu's fault that he had to compel him, and telling her it was her fault for saying he needed to be at full power for Ny-Alesund, and telling her it was her fault for not stopping him—

—whatever power pointed people at others who fit them well decided that his soulmate was Elias Bouchard.

The slap of a wave and the creak of the ship for a moment coincided to sound like a foot step on the deck. John looked back, just for a moment, thinking Basira had come back to look for him or talk to him, to ask all of those questions.

It was necessary, he'd said. She got the job done, and didn’t care about the cost. He'd thought that would - be enough, for her.

But I thought you did.

She'd expected him to still care. About everyone, about a single stranger, even now. Even after everything he'd - not told her about, could barely stand to think about, she—

She trusted him. To be better than that.

He didn't know how to cope with that. Hardly knew how to think.

#mag 141 #the magnus archives #tma #jonelias #Jonathan Sims #mine #fanfic #bffn #Basira Hussain