#sometimes u rlly just gotta be ALONE

[meavitamin-notes]

day 47: another fun fact—i have a p5 crossover au :D

all days

#oh look it's ___ #katekyo hitman reborn #sawada tsunayoshi #khr #like. cmon. kaneshiro. a Mafia Boss #tsuna would get assigned to scope him out as training and then get wrapped up in phantom thievery by accident lol #i have a plot (not rlly) where he gets assigned alone bcuz his guardians have their own missions/training #reborn comes by to check in on him tho #but sometimes u gotta do these things alone yaknow #i never did figure out tsuna’s persona tho #nor his arcana in p5 protag’s confidant with him. or his code name. #this is a v underdeveloped au LOLOLOL #i just like p5 and khr and like. Why Not make a crossover au? it’s self indulgent

[toxooz]

i really wanna buy some edibles for the ✨Special Out Of Touch Thursday The 4/20th✨ tomorrow but i've never ever done weed before (despite it being completely legal in canada for like 4+ years), and i also have a heart condition so i'm pretty nervous... do you have any words of wisdom before the Big Day?

uhhhh edibles for the first time??? edibles last a fuck of a long time and every time you eat after it you get crazy high all over again so i personally would not recommend edibles for the first time lmfao esp if ur prone to getting anxious, paranoid, and delusional plus since weed opens ur blood vessels thus making your heart beat faster which could be a good or bad thing again it could backfire and make u hallucinate shit and could be stress on ur heart idk a bong rip perhaps?? blunt?? pipe?? idk man 🤷‍♀️

#as someone who has weird heart twitches and glitches sometimes my heartbeat alone starts to stress me out when im high lmfao #plus again hearing shit/ getting convinced everyone is out to kill u ect. but i mean hell sometimes it chills me tf out and reliev #es physical pain sometime i get possessed by art gods its p cool sometimes #but Most of the time it makes me shifty it really aint a cure all fyi like u really aint gotta smoke it if it could cause problems #id probably like an edible at this point but the first time??? i thought i was genuinely on the brink of insanity when it lasted 24 hrs #sometimes my Extreme Debilitating social anxiety seems to vanish but other times its like a Catagory 7 Autism Event u rlly dont know #just b careful is all im sayin #drug mention #drug tw

[tgcg]

thank u so much🙂erm sorry this isn't very "romantic" but its something ive thought abt quite a bit & thought it'd be a nice one 2 share heheh

once they start regularly sleeping together, they find out they have like rlly fascinatingly clashing sleeping habits, but they end up perfectly balancing out for a bunch of reasons. it comes down to them finding each other's presence incredibly comforting.

dave sleeps straight and silent like a plank of wood, karkat sleeps crumpled up like an animal and is prone 2 snoring. he drools a bunch too, because that's just part of having an overbite. and isn't a problem when you sleep in slime, which is his defense when it's brought up.

the snoring doesn't bother dave, in fact he finds the sound soothing. he doesnt snore really loud, it’s kind of gentle and rumbly. and the way he still looks grumpy even when he's sleeping is pretty endearing, so sometimes dave will just watch him snooze for a bit. it's rhythmic and relaxing & something to focus on if he can't sleep.

karkat has his own dedicated pillowcases that are extra-thick for the drooling & they gotta be washed nightly. typically dave will switch the cases for him in passing.

sleeping in a bed is also one of the rare times where someone would get to see karkat in something that isn't long pants and a long-sleeve shirt, especially in warmer weather, because karkat is abnormally committed to wearing the same outfit out every day. so it's a very rare privilege and dave likes to see him in short sleeves.

it actually ends up working really well for both of them even though they're polar opposites, because dave finds a lot of comfort in the steady quiet noise, and karkat is sensitive to sound so the fact dave is a quiet sleeper is good for him too. & they both find having each other there helps against sleeping alone drastically. makes it easier to remember they’re in a safe space.

ofc karkat does the same thing to dave, i.e. watching him sleep sometimes. he never really gets over how nice dave's eyes look even when they're closed. typically though watching dave sleep ends up making him snort because dave will just faceplant the pillow *hard* and karkat wouldn't even believe he's capable of breathing in that position if he couldn't see his lungs expanding in real time.

they both have a lot of trouble sleeping. while dave tends to have trouble *falling* asleep in particular, karkat tends to have more trouble *staying* asleep. once dave is out he's typically OUT on a good night, and although karkat gets to sleep faster than him he's more likely to wake up in the middle of the night. this works out great, because if dave's face is ever visible it's because he was watching karkat until he dozed off -- and that means karkat gets to watch *dave* sleep til he can get back to sleep himself. so they feed into each other sleeping better, if that makes sense.

& they both suck at getting up in the morning.godbless

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #i hope u like it

[baechira-is-my-love]

blue lock boys when you bring home a stray kitten

hii again >_< i'm a huge cat person!!! so i wrote these headcanons about how bllk boys would react if you bought home a cute lil kitten! i would personally prefer a ragdoll/persian mixed kitten but most of the strays here are tabbies!! anyways i don't mind since i love all cats 💕💕💕

also thank you sooo much for my last post!! even tho it was my first post i received a lot of reactions <333 ilysm guys!

this includes: isagi, bachira, rin, sae

gn reader!!

Isagi:

You come home, after a harsh and tiring day of work

with a smol surprise :3

"Hey baby, I'm back home. Where are you, Yoichi?"

As soon as he enters, he sees the little kitten in your arms.

boy rlly said ":00000"

he rushes to you, taking a look at the kitten in your arms.

the kitten hissed at him obviously as a defense mechanism.

"it's okay, baby" you cooed at the tiny kitten as you held it closer to your chest.

"i found it on the streets, poor thing was roaming around, crying for food!"

you eventually get the kitten to like yoichi

you go to the store and buy lots of cat food

bath with the kitten and isagi!! <333

"interrupt my play time and i'll interrupt your breathing"

sometimes when you're not paying much attention to yoichi (cuz of ur cat) he'll try to grab ur attention

but he gets scratched instead lol

Bachira:

One day, you both were on a date to the park.

You heard some meowing nearby, and decided to go check it out.

Bachira decided to tag along with you.

There, you saw a hurt kitten

It was so thin!

So you decided to take it in! <333

Bachira ended up getting scratched 7 times, but hey! we bagged the baby!!!

on your way back, you bought some cat food <33

as soon as you got home, you both gave the kitty a bath to get it cleaned up

you both made sure to always give it lots of love and care

eventually it warmed up to u both <333

bachira would always play w it after he came back from his practice sessions!

and show it off to everyone!

Rin:

would question god

"what is that?"

would glare at the kitten

which was safely cuddling in your arms

"it's a baby cat, rinnie!" you said with a small pout.

"why would you need to bring it here?"

"it was lost on the streets! it's still a baby, rin! how can it survive alone???"

he seriously doubts if the kitten actually likes you

but no

he rong

it likes you very much!!!

in fact

it never leaves you!! you have to forcefully lock it out of the bathroom when u bath or use the washroom

and u gotta hear its sad cries :(((

but he! he's frustrated with that stupid useless animal!

he doesn't even get any attention, he's so jealous!

Sae:

one fine day, he came home from practice.

but instead of your warm hugs, he found himself face-to-face with a tiny kitten!! <3333

he looks at it quizzically.

"baby, a cat is at the doorstep. is it a stray?"

you poked your head out of the living room

and you explained how u found it so hungry at ur doorstep!

and it was so thin, the poor thing just needed some food!

so you took it in

and rushed to the grocery to buy some food for it

he seriously doubts whether you can actually take care of a living, breathing animal

turns out, he's right.

you function on half a braincell (like me)

so instead he does 90% of the job

buying food, cleaning the litter box, playing with it, giving it a good scrub, feeding it, taking it for a walk

you always try your best to help him

but alas, he shoots death glares at you

kinda opposite of what happened w rinnie

the baby gets too attached to sae

if u guys have an argument you're definitely getting scratched

after seeing sae act lovey-dovey with you, the cat eventually grows to like you

#blue lock #sae itoshi #bllk #blue lock x reader #sae itoshi x reader #cats #kitten #rin itoshi #itoshi sae #itoshi rin #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #isagi yoichi x reader #bachira meguru x reader #itoshi rin x reader #gn! reader #blue lock x gn! reader #itoshi sae x gn!reader #itoshi sae x reader #blue lock sae #blue lock headcanons #anime #manga #bachira x reader #bachira x gn!reader

[tojipie]

ohmygosh y did u put toji wit a newborn on my dash... 😵‍💫 now i gotta talk about how he rlly rlly rlly wants to try his best. i want 2 imagine u have twins (megumi and tsumiki) and he doesnt want u to feel like you're the main parent, so while ur laying on the bed chilling, hes in the bathroom with the two miniscule little things :(( plopping then gently as ever into the shallow cradles slightly below the water level in the bath rub. and he always gets soo nervous when hes reminded of how small they are compared to his big hands. its kinda cute too u sit on the counter sometimes and watch as he uses the softest brush and massage their little heads while they snort and groan and make little baby noises like they do :(( sometimes he side eyes u to see if ur judging him and you just put your hands up and let him do what he needs to do lol.

i thinkk bc he consistently feels remorse for those years u were alone, he goes the extra mile to ensure he keeps up to standard with u after hes out and after u give birth. bc while he doesnt expect u to get up and work out he keeps maintaining his muscle. when he hears about dad bods he goes ???? cuz what😭🤨 he calls em 'lazy fucks' who dont actually do shit for their wives

this is also a part of the reason why since maybe the kids were about a week old he'd asked if u guys ciuld explore breast pumping options, so u could pump out milk in advance when u had an oversupply and that way he could feed the babies on his own without you feeling like you should be depending on as a main caregiver 😭

tears in my eyes . hands shaking . sobbing with snot. u are a genius

#adah’s asks #prison bf! toji #prison bf!toji

[rowarn]

just read your inexperienced könig fanfic, the way you write könig is absolutely mind blowing. i feel like you really captured the fact that he has social anxiety and tries to AVOID conversations rather than being shy, bc god knows tht man is not shy!! also, i was curious, sometimes you dont write contractions for him in his speech and he doesn’t really take time to shorten his words. for example, “i do not” is not shortened into “i don’t”, or “you are” isn’t shortened into “you’re”, it simply remains as is and isn’t shortened. i dunno if that was intentional or not considering english isnt his first language and maybe he feels the need to put an emphasis on speaking ‘professionally’ (especially since hes a colonel), but i just really thought that was a cool detail if it was intentional!! cant wait to see ur future works ❤️

hi my love!!!! i'm so glad u enjoyed the fic!!!

i rlly don't subscribe to the shy!könig agenda tho i do enjoy the fumbling clumsy aspect ppl fool around with!! i like the idea of him being closed off and hard to get close to bc he does have anxiety and he would just prefer to be left alone but he is a hardened military man and wouldn't rlly be a soft boi

as for his dialogue it is intentional!!! i think that not shortening his words gives the dialogue more emphasis. he does use contractions in his voice lines lord knows i've listened to them A TON but for the character i was trying to portray in experienced he was supposed to be on the more commanding and intimidating side bc like u said he's a colonel and he's gotta have the Hard Edge to him !!!! so i felt that the elongated speech would portray that a bit more! plus it doesn't sound bad if u consider him saying it in an accent hehe

i'm actually surprised anyone even noticed it 😭 i figured it would just be a silly detail for Me so i'm happy u liked that!!!

#ask

[jeweledflowers]

Hello Rose-san!!! Today I'm here to request Who made me a princess with Dazai Osamu Reader! I just got this ideas when im watching meme about Dazai Osamu it's from channel Sakisayaka They made meme really good!!! You should watch it once ^^

hello, darling! how are you doing, how has your day been? sorry, it took me a while to complete this i decided to do this in headcanon format.

i'm on writer's block so like, sorry for the short and horrible hcs

nonnie, i assume you meant reader with the personality of Dazai? because that's what i did, and reader is gn. hope you like it, nonnie!

𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚. || 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐀 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬; 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌.

𝘐𝘫𝘦𝘬𝘪𝘦𝘭;

ijekiel.exe has stopped working

he's so concerned-

At first, he's a bit off put by the whole mafia thing,

like.

r u ok.

comes to the conclusion that ur rlly not.

he honestly feels bad for you, he knows you're lonely

and once he learns that you're searching for a reason to live??

he's dumbstruck. he's never really thought of it, you see. he's lived a busy, stressful yet fairly luxurious life, so he didn't really question things like these.

now he is having an existential crisis

starts giving you small things, like a book to read before bed, or a new set of clothes that you didn't really need, for the third time that week and it's only Tuesday

𝘑𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦;

she follows you around because of concern and sympathy

she's so sweet ily jennette

finds out about the mafia and is like::

'why would you kill people?'

so you don't really explain much but she finds out

she feels horrible! she can't imagine what you must've gone through. hugs and desserts galore

you sneak her out to town sometimes, much to her delight

well,,, meet your self-proclaimed best friend <33

𝘓𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯;

is immediately a bit on her guard

even more on her guard after finding out that you're a member of the mafia

but then she learns about your suicidal tendencies

ahaha... she doesn't leave you alone

goes full mom mode on you

lily's cookies 🛐🛐

treats you like you're 3 but she really doesn't mean to--it's unintentional

will stop spoiling you if you ask, but will be a bit hurt

𝘈𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘶𝘴;

'wtf is wrong with this kid'

is his first thought

As though he's one to talk

anyways. really casual around you. as though you're a street kid and not a member of the mafia.

but deep inside, he feels really... uncomfortable?

i mean...he doesn't get it. why would you want to die?

has stopped you multiple times from suicide attempts and will keep stopping you.

'you gotta live, kid.'

𝘍𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘹;

'uh... child that's a knife.'

'I know.'

'You'll die.'

'I know.'

'Painfully die.'

'I don't care.'

how you two met, basically

sweating on the inside, how do u interact with a mentally ill mafia member

tries his best to make you take an interest in life

brings you along to tea parties with claude and athy (its vvvv awkward)

gives you a tour of the palace grounds

tries to convince claude to let u and athy be besties

small things, but he's trying

𝘗𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘦;

she is so weirded out

seriously, that hairstyle? that attitude? that no life personality?

oh honey no.

feels weird too. like, this kid (cause you're younger than her) wants to die. willingly die.

takes it like... you haven't died. why do you want to know what it feels like.

gives you the most expensive gifts. like, you need a separate room for those gifts. makes you eat with her even though all the meals are quite and deadass awkward cause both of you won't talk.

𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢;

look, diana approaches life in a free spirited way. she lives everyday like she doesn't truly care.

which might be true

anyways, thats not the point.

when she meets you, she's like::::

'okay what the fu-'

(although i highly doubt that diana would swear)

she catches you trying to commit once, and then she's like, 'Please don't do that ever again'

and no one can refuse diana

𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘦;

oh.. you want to die? interesting. maybe he should indulge you.

'your majesty, no!' (felix)

aaanyways

he doesn't really care about you, he's just intrigued, after all, it's not everyday he comes across someone like this.

but as time goes on, he starts to see his younger self in you. and it unnerves him.

he thought he finally pushed away those memories, finally got away from his past

it kind of haunts him.

most of the time, he doesn't convey this directly to you, but if the massive pile of presents is any indication

𝘈𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘢;

..what-

she's trying to live

you're trying to die

swears that she won't let you die

and promises to give you reasons to live

athy 😭

#who made me a princess #wmmap #wmmap x reader #who made me a princess x reader

[yummycrummy]

UuHM

Augh im super embarrassed to even send this so apologies for it being anonymous..BUT UH

(This is gonna be rlly long btw so sorry..)

Id honestly just like to thank you although you probs dont really get why (let alone really remember me BAHAH) i uhhdhsmdtmstmdt UHM words yes!! Uh but id really like to uh thank you because uhm you got me throw a lot like i mean A LOT throughout 2023 especially in the beginning an dyoure honestly a super big idol tome and im really happy to have found and met you and i still get super excited and stimm-y whenever i see your content n remember we r moots on tiktok AND tumblr n stuff youre honetsly and amaizng and sweet person and stuff!! Youve inspired me to do what i love and youve helped me see art as a hobby instead of dof a chore again youre honestly just really really REALLY (wow three reallys!) inspiring to me a really awkwrd kid!! I may have found you during our dhmis fixation and mainly know you for that but i enjoy all your content even thoughi dunno the context!! But uhhh IN SHOR HEHWHAH thank you for like EVERYTHING you do (aka be yourself!!) i hope everything goes well for you hope!! Yhmmmdmetmdt HEHHAM UH uhmmm HAPPY NEW YEARS!! yea! :3 uhm sorry again EMTAMTSMTSM

‼‼‼🥺🥺🥺🥺 AWWWW GOSHH this is literally so soo sweet of you, what the heck,,, got me smiling at my phone like a big ol goof baHDJAGDJ thank you so much tho omg..I don't know how my silly lil self can leave such an impact on people but I really do appreciate this.. abanagnfbf no need to be so embarrassed !!!/lh u genuinely sound so cool and friendly I wish I knew who I was talking to but I can understand why u wanted to be anonymous, I'd be shy too ngl ahehhehfvs but YEAH!!! TY SO MUCH??! We gotta talk again sometime (if you want to ofc, no pressure ^-^) hope you have a happy new years too my friend, I love ya/p and thank you again even tho I said it already ehhehf 💖💟💗💘💖💟🎉💖💘🌈💘💟💖🌈💖💘💖💟🌈💘💟🎉💖 AAAAAAA

#uughdgg this just made my whole night.... #what a lovely thing 2 see before i sleep :] #hugs u tightly #🍫🍬🍰🍪🍩🧁 some treats 4 u!!!! #asks

[dogcodedcatboy]

Garnet, bittersweet shimmer, and chocolate cosmos (or if you answered these ones already feel free to substitute them!)?

♡ @eternally-smitten :))

hi nat !!!! thank u for sending an ask!!!! 🖤💚

Garnet: How do both of you feel about soulmates or any kind of belief about being fated to be with someone? Have these opinions about it changed after meeting each other? aaron def believes heavily in soulmates n that kind of stuff. he's always been v romance-oriented and like, obsessed with finding The One. b4 he meets roman he's a bit...discouraged and is reaching the 'OK MAYBE i'm meant 2 die alone whateverrrr fuck this gay earth' point. but u know how these things work, sometimes you gotta stop looking so hard and then the right person will find u. red string of fate and all that...anyway he 100 percent believes roman is his soulmate. he will divulge this information when drunk but otherwise keeps his mouth shut bc he knows he will be made fun of sooooo hard

roman does not necessarily believe in soulmates... too much mushy stuff and magical thinking involved. also i don't think he'd allow himself/even be able to like, meditate on his own feelings abt this stuff for a while. very out of touch w his emotions and it's def a process to untangle and sort through All That. he def teases aaron for it, but deep down is really soft on the fact that someone feels that strongly abt him. idk if he'd ever believe in soulmates per say. Bittersweet Shimmer: How does your f/o feel about romance movies and all those subgenres under it? Do they have any favorites for Valentine's Day?

roman is not a romance or romcom enjoyer. he's def the type to enjoy making fun of movies he thinks r shitty tho, so if they're watching a cheesy romance flick it is Exclusively to dunk on it. aaron would never rlly suggest anything frm the genre bc he doesnt like them either, but maybe pretty woman LMAO

Chocolate Cosmos: If your f/o was talking about you to someone like a close friend, how exactly would they talk about you? How would they describe you? Characterize you? And how often do they talk about you to other people?

this. question was the reason this ask took me so long to answer bc everytime i tried to think abt an answer i just said teehee and kicked my feet and short circuited my own brain

how would roman talk abt aaron...idk how many "close friends" roman even has ( kculk said he was #friendless sorry rome :( ) so this is more like how he would talk to his siblings. anyway aaron is not Really a trophy husband (altho they joke abt it) but when roman talks abt aaron its mostly to flex abt how Cool he is. it strokes his ego a little to know he was able to pull a Cool Hot Guy.

roman is also very...repressed. not a strong sense of individuality or identity really. so he appreciates how weird and authentic aaron is. he really admires aaron's confidence

assuming their relationship is public and roman is able to actually talk about aaron + he works thru a little bit of that Repression . i think he would talk abt aaron a fair bit! i mean, he would be bound to come up in conversations sometimes bc like. thats his partner and a lot of his anecdotes involve aaron. but i do think he brings him up to acquaintances unprompted a fair bit.

#asks #nat 🧪

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

I feel really alone and embarrassed dealing with chronic constipation (and diarrhoea from laxatives that I need to take). I also have a chronic fissure and hemmeroids. It is so painful and I don't know what to do.

that is a rlly difficult thing to live w

i dont wanna sound like im punching down or anything bc its not like any disability or chronic illness is any kind of “well off” in society but there definitely is an added stigma of having a digestive disorder

within reason bc anyone who has a chronic illness/es has ppl in there life who dont understand the ‘chronic’ in chronic illness ppl w chronic migraines or ear aches or pain or fatigue can talk abt what they r going thru even if ppl dont always understand but beyond saying “tummy hurtyy :(“ or saying ur n* or feel s* to ur stomach or vaguely indicating u r experiencing vague intestinal discomfort ppl w chronic digestive disorders rlly cant be fully open abt all the pain n suffering n even the celebrations like being constipated n finally being able to take a shit bc there is so much stigma n taboo abt “bathroom stuff”

like constipation for example is more then just cant shit it causes a whole list of physical symptoms from bloating cramps n* thats persistent n its just a miserable time n all that lain effects ur mood n mental health too

n when ppl who have other chronic disorders say things like my migraine is gone or my ear ache is gone or my flare up is over or today is a low fatigue/pain day then ppl celebrate w them yk they share in that victory but if u go around as a person who deals w constipation n say hey i finally got to poop :D ppl r like ew thats tmi i dont wanna know what u did in the bathroom

n that shame is compounded for people w chronic gastro disorders bc not only r u dealing w the inherent shame n ableism of having a chronic illness n ppl getting frustrated w u bc ur sick all the time again bc they dont understand the ‘chronic’ in chronic illness or think ur faking or exaggerating etc but then theres the extra layer of shame of having a digestive disorder n the very nature of ur chronic illness being viewed as inherently disgusting n taboo n unsanitary

n i made this blog bc sometimes u rlly do gotta be the change u wanna see in the world hahaha

anyways i cant do much for ur physical pain but ive added “#constipation” as a tag n queued up some specific constipation related posts so u can see others deal w it too n ur not alone

#anonymous #constipation #digestive disorders #chronic illness #stomach problems #hemmeroids #laxatives

[frecklystars]

Ok you're like the only person I know who draws self-insert stuff, like, A LOT so I just gotta ask: How do you... draw yourself??? Ok that probs doesn't make sense but like... I wanna draw self-insert of myself and a fictional character but I really don't like how I look (and I hate drawing myself) so I end up hating what I draw. How do u manage to draw urself for self-inserts without hating how u look?

U don't gotta answer if u don't wanna but u seem rlly comfortable with, well, drawing urself and I legit don't know what to do here. I hope this made sense. Sorry if it doesn't....

Anon, don't worry, I gotcha!! 💙

I'm so sorry that you don't like how you look ;n; I also struggle with accepting my appearance, let alone learning how to love it. But I promise that self insert/shipping actually helps with that kind of thing over time -- writing your favorite character giving you constant love/validation also helps you see yourself the way that they see you. It obviously doesn't happen overnight, but it helps!

I have been drawing myself since I could pick up a pencil, and my S/I design has changed a lot over the years tbh! The way I drew myself when I was 9 is a lot different than how I drew myself at 15, and very different from how I draw myself now. Nothing has to be set in stone, you can change your design whenever and however you please. No rules!!

Do I always wear glasses IRL because my vision is piss poor? Absolutely. Do I always draw my glasses? No. It's not that I dislike my glasses - I love them, in fact, I feel more confident when I wear them - but sometimes I will draw myself with them and think "ah that looks like me :)" and other times I won't draw them at all and still think "hm yeah that's still me!" it really just depends on how I'm feeling during the day, or during the scene of the drawing. I gotta be in the Mood™.

As for my body, I didn't start drawing my round tummy until I was maybe in my late teens. I used to hate my freckles, but now I draw them so often and I write my F/Os loving them so much, I cannot imagine going without them.

You don't have to draw anything you wouldn't want to, especially since this is a newer experience for you. And you can add whatever the hell you want. I draw myself with purple eyes sometimes just because I feel like it. Does my S/I actually have purple eyes? No, they're brown, like mine. Sometimes I put little blue streaks in my hair, sometimes I'll draw myself in outfits that I don't actually own, but I wish that I did. Again, there are no rules, you can do whatever makes you feel comfortable!!

Your drawing of yourself never has to be exact, not unless if you want it to be. And it's kind of impossible to make an exact replica of yourself anyways. Our art styles are very different, and that includes how we perceive ourselves in a fictional setting. I will often write myself walking on my toes (i'm a preemie-baby and it's common for us to just. walk on our toes constantly instead of flat-footed like a normal person lmao) but I won't bother to draw it. Orrrr I draw my nails all painted and blue and pretty, but IRL they're actually bitten and torn and I feel more comfortable writing that little detail instead of showing it.

Like... I hate drawing my body sometimes, I will draw it and think "goddamn I really look like this? >:(" but then I gotta snap myself out of it and remind myself that it's my body, it's human and it's just as lovable as those fake photoshopped magazine covers. Society drills into us an impossible standard for beauty and it's so easy to compare ourselves to others, and even easier to spiral downhill w/ that mindset. And honestly if I'm feeling especially insecure, I'll draw a F/O cuddling my stomach and saying "wow my girlfriend is sooo gorgeous, what a knock-out" or something similar and it will feel a little easier. Like I rly don't have to stress about how I look because my F/Os love me just the way that I am, I wouldn't have to change anything for them!

But it took me a long time to start drawing that way. It takes a lot of patience w/ yourself. But! As for my hair + facial features, I don't hate those very much, I just like to make my features "fluffier" because it's my art style and when I look at it I think "ah, that's me! :)" and that's all there is to it.

I hope my response helped at least a little, it was difficult for me to stitch together words that made sense lol. Take it easy anon, kiss your babes, they're waiting for ya!! 💙💙💙

OH WAIT one more thing -- it could possibly be more comfortable for you to start off in literally the simplest art style possible & take it slow. I always draw those little Adventure Time styled dot-eyes and round faces when I wanna simplify how my S/I looks. It's easier and quicker to scribble and I don't have to worry about my features too much:

#anonymous #asks #self insert asks #lil doodles #idk if i made much sense #like. i have the answer here in my Brain. but putting it into words is hard

[socksonvideo]

Hi hi hello!! Tell me a bit about whoever you wanna talk about most!!!!! (or both, if you want!!)

💧🌟🔫👖

u know what... i will do both.... under the cut though bc it might be long lmao

aspen .

💧 - u know for such an angsty little guy im having a hard time with this LMAO. i bring a different one... so i don’t mention survivors guilt again bc catherine stole that one

obviously! there has been a lot of near death soul rider experiences and adding that to the previous near death trauma aspen had you get. more trauma!! and nightmares. this is about nightmares.

aspen has frequent nightmares about actual death (eg. Moss’ wings not forming in time / Sabine actually getting their ass (not in a good way) in Dino Valley / Being stuck in that in between area after Elizabeth Died / Car Crash / I’m sure there is more I could be here all day)

what if they hadn’t done that? what if in the future they don’t make the right move? its so easy for them to make a mistake and it does not help aspen’s paranoia. 

obviously this is added on to their moon circle issues because once aspen started having Those dreams it was another issue of “was that a nightmare or a vision” and so really. big mess. so fun!

🌟 - stargazing is kind of a quiet bonding activity for aspen. yeah, sure they’re alone most of the time out of their own preference but sometimes they want to hang out! just not mostly in loud crowded places. they try to just think about the peace and quiet because honestly there is way too much going on for them.

since aspen lives in the countryside (though right outside of jorvik city) they see the stars pretty often. most times they prefer to do it with someone though. sometimes its their abuela (who... i hc was a moon sister from the gen b4 elizabeth’s so really its a mild venting session sometimes)

other times it could be one or both of their sisters. most of the time though, they actually stargaze with maya !! actual best friends. one of the few people that aspen has actually talked to that isn’t their family. maya in general is just a very nice and funny person and aspen respects that.

misc people for stargazing though are the flying foxes (has only been a one/two time thing so far but the vibes (and smores) were amazing)

obviously the soul riders too but like !! mainly linda ..... gotta roll out the heavy ass telescope though. 

i imagine their first hang out with anne was a split thing (”alright we can hang out where u would like to hang out w me and then vice versa”) so after they did whatever, aspen took her to the usual hill and they just talked about whatever. bonding over fleeting quiet moments. and then aspen proceeded to point out every constellation.

(this is so long LMAO im projecting my love for stargazing rlly badly rn)

🔫 - aspen is the least likely person to go “yeah i trust you sure” right off the bat because they are so skeptical. of everyone and everything.

like, obviously, if you’re just being really open about being an ass or something, its a no brainer at that point. sabine at the manor was so very obvious and aspen, internally, was laughing, up until she took justin in which aspen was not laughing and was like “damn.” it takes a while before aspen can trust you (even if you show genuine kindness it takes them like. a week or two before they’re like alright)

aspen isn’t one to turn their back on you without reason. going off “friendship betrayals” for this one, but aspen will show and give verbal distaste for something if you’re just being an annoying or pissy person. if you decide to ignore it, your loss. aspen can deal with you saying that they betrayed you. becaue sure. 

will say that it has happened to aspen before so the first hand experience is strong.

in terms of betraying someone, it depends ig? if its something of turning evil and betraying the ‘good side’ friends, then probably not. unless there was a Very Good Reason and the evil side wasn’t actually evil, then yes. if it was a fake out thing, then probably and very quickly. aspen can deal with the shock and betrayal if it means saving someone from something. life or death situation, and aspen chooses life.

👖 - tbh aspen wears like the same thing... maybe they'll switch it up sometimes (depends on weather like 99% of the time) but its mainly their little trucker hat, a sweater, baggy pants, and the same fingerless gloves and boots.

sometimes in the winter aspen will wear the shortest (modest) clothes possible. just to flex the alaska genes. its hilarious to them. others just think they are insane and maybe they are.

catherine .

💧 - slaps her little head. this character can hold so much survivors guilt inside it.

anyway she has a Ton and I mean a Ton of guilt from Elizabeth's death because she felt like she should've (and honestly could've....) prevented it but she was just so. shocked that she really couldn't do anything in the moment.

honestly there are a ton of other moments where she has watched past generations die in front of her and she has felt purely guilt from those events but elizabeths is the most recent and so she was beating herself up over it for a while.

plus they were literally in a sisterhood together even if catherine was different. that was her long time friend and she just? stood there? like hell she is gonna feel bad.

🌟 - catherine is constantly thinking about stuff to keep herself from spiraling so! every time she goes star gazing, she’s constantly trying to point out different stuff. where’s this constellation? is that a new one?

they mostly prefer to do it with wren. she only used to star gaze bc of a star circle rider from one of the very first generations but obviously she’s. not around to do it with her anymore.

🔫 - somewhere in between.

catherine can just? sort of tell if you’re a good person or not. it makes it easier to trust you if she can tell. of course some people are Extremely open about their true personality but others. hm.

she is well aware of the possibility that someone is faking their goodness or what not but sometimes. very few times she can also sniff that out.

catherine is quick to trust people just bc of the above LMAO. not the type to betray or turn your back on you without reason though bc she is just Not like that. the only time she’d ever ‘betray’ someone is if she was doing a fake-out trust thing bc ur just a little evil person and she needed to do so for her own gain. 

👖 - definitely has no go to outfit lmao that wardrobe is changing every day but. mostly airy clothes. like her sweater + cardigan on her ref are pretty thin in reality. i guess if we wanna consider something a go-to then probably whatever is like? a fashion trend at the time? lmao catherine is an enigma

#im so sorry this took me like a WEEK i take forever thinking about my characters #as much as they bounce around in my head they have to hit the corner right like the windows icon before the thought comes #dont know if i interpreted the asks rights tbh most of there were written at.... 2 am #thank u 4 da asks though #aspen southfield #catherine pinehome

[starrierknight]

u know it rlly wasn't that awkward cause we were really good friend like all weird feelings aside but yeah the whole situation is terrible and it's kind of ridiculous to think about it now 😭😭 but hey it's fine sometimes u gotta go through weird stuff to figure urself out

ALSO i need to talk about something cause i just got the worst news ever (<- dramatic) nd the gojo figure i was looking to buy today is out of stock rn. like it was available yesterday and today it's GONE. literally who did that. what do u mean i'm not the only satoru fan in the city that sounds like a lie

1. I'm relieved that it wasn't as bad as it could've been, even if it's a bit ridiculous to think about in hindsight LOL. I've been there, you're not alone 😭😭

2. that's absolutely not dramatic. it's horrid. I would cry and throw up blood. preposterous. you deserve the gojo figure!!!! it literally has your sweetie's name on the box!!!!!! smh

#hi yes apologies for taking an age to answer i low-key forgot that i have an inbox #[ ✉ ] — reece's mail #[ ☄ ] — dearest bunny

[scoobydoo-andnancytoo]

Reading Secrets Can Kill but I Share My Every Thought Chapter 14-18

- nancy is at the dance w daryl and i am DYING to know what she told Ned ab this - it's v funny looking up outfits nancy describes. like /this/ is what the v neck dress that ~put a sparkle in daryls eyes~ was prob like - carla bumps into nancy while she's putting lipstick on and messes her up so bess trips her on purpose and her peach colored dress has a big soapy water stain on it now 😱 drama - nancy doesn't see Connie at the dance and thinks to herself "maybe once this case is over Connie will straighten her life out and stop trying so desperately to be someone she's not" and that hurt even MY feelings on her behalf - daryl hints at leaving early and nancy is like "let's stick around a little while longer, if we leave now, everyone will know why" and implied sex?? in my nancy drew book??? i haven't read one in a long time but these seem a tad spicier than i remember? or maybe it's a ND files thing - daryl says this is the best night of his life, oh just u wait buddy 😭 - nancy acts like she's seducing daryl like "ohhh but it could be a whole lot better if we spent some time alone together, couldn't it?" he's gonna be soooo disappointed when she tells him why she rlly got him out there

- nancy has the worst plan for how to confront him ever, she decides oh let's go be alone, in an enclosed car where he could easily lock her in, def in arms reach and she's thinking he might be a killer. she was in a very public place and decided to leave that and go somewhere secluded and hard to escape from. just want to know the thought process here like, you couldn't pull him aside somewhere in the school with your friends waiting nearby? - she kisses him in his car and whispers in his ear "just thought you'd like to know,, i found out why Jake Webb was killed" and he's gotta be thinking this is the worst pillow talk ever - daryl is trying to play it cool and is like "this isn't rlly what i had in mind when i came out here, but if you really want to talk instead of...doing other things 😏" this is so much to deal with - when nancy tells him ab the tape she's like "i call it.....the daryl gray show" she's so dramatic - when she's finished he drags her out of the car and pushes her against it like "if you think I'm a killer, what makes you think I'd stop with Jake Webb?" - nancy DID at least think through to plan for this and the besties turned on their headlights but i still think he could've done some real damage before they realized if he didn't drag her out of the car - Ned is there and came as George's "date" so nancy def explained things but i wonder if she told him it's just for the case 😬 either way her long time bf watched her dance with and kiss this guy and i know it had to be soooo awkward even if they do drift and date other people sometimes - Ned quite literally lept onto daryl and is being quite rough w him - nancy apparently told Ned everything ab the case EXCEPT for nancy and daryls feelings for each other which she was saving for later and she "hoped he hadn't suspect anything" as if he hadn't been watching them canoodle and kiss all night - daryl reacts more to ned referring to nancy as his girlfriend than being called a murderer lmao - mitch dillon is defense plant guy who killed jake and told daryl so that was true to the book - daryl was threatened by mitch to find the tape and it was him in the video lab that day  - nancy is all "how can you celebrate when daryls life is probably ruined" as if this mfer didn't commit treason - they're making daryl help catch mitch which like can't u just tell the cops atp. like honestly - the cops will be there but like why are they letting a bunch of teenagers be the ones to catch the killer then. - ofc mitch says he can't do the set meeting time and is gonna be there in 10 mins so no cops after all - bess's new bf is there and im trying to process the conversations that took place to rope him into this - the murderer stops to feed the ducks before meeting and maybe trying to murder daryl which is so funny to me - something went wrong like a flash from the bushes or smth and mitch is on the move and nancy is going after him  😱 - it was BRENDA!!! she took a flash photo of mitch and daryl and mitch grabbed her, nancy trips over a root and mitch sees her, and he has a gun to Brenda's head - it's prob still being taped by ned or george and nancy thinks one of the others has snuck away from the park and called the cops - nancy got him to admit to killing Jake too - this place is WAY too public for mitch to be holding a gun to someone in broad daylight - daryl hits mitch w Brenda's camera, the gun went off, nancy tackled him, he punched her in the jaw, mitch goes running, then ned and bess's bf tackle his ass - daryl was SHOT in the shoulder but hooray cops come and nancy saved the day - the Russian diplomat left in a hurry once mitch had been captured - nancy feels strongly that "daryl deserves a break" mind you he was committing espionage and treason - hal is retaking the SATS, seemingly no other punishment, walt is benching himself for a while, and connie is getting help for her shoplifting problem (no mention of returning the bracelet) and the cops aren't doing anything ab them - daryl is gonna recover ok - nancy is finally, finally telling ned ab her and daryl - ned kinda suspected but was very chill about it and nancy is all "i love you" - ned asks if it's over. he's about to be in prison and threatened nancy for a min, i doubt nancy is gonna want a prison penpal romance, dude - the end - the game is much better solely because daryl and nancy have little to no actual romance or at least nothing she reciprocates - never recovering from nancy calling daryl sexy or the engine revving

#nancy drew #secrets can kill #sck

[foxstens]

gotta rant about irl stuff so. don’t read this

i recently realized i don’t like walking. well, i don’t have strong feelings about the activity itself and i do like it sometimes, when i’m with someone or when i have a purpose or when there’s stuff to look at during the walk. but i don’t like doing it just for the sake of it, just because ‘exercise is good for you’. yes i fucking know its good AND YET I HATE IT ANYWAY. IT’S BORING AND EXCRUCIATING AND FRUSTRATING AND IVE HATED IT AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER

there are stretches and stuff like that that do work for me but i rarely feel like doing them, usually i just forget or i just can’t find the right moment to get started or whatever, u know. technically walking would be the easiest way to get in the minimum workout for a ‘healthy lifestyle’ and the thing is. i can walk for 10 km a day. i know i can bc ive done it before, we do it basically whenever we travel somewhere for a vacation. so you’d think doing so for like 2km a day would be easy. but its not bc i hate getting dressed i hate leaving the house i hate walking for no reason and especially i hate doing anything because ‘i have to’.

why is this relevant? because i took 2 weeks off and went to do some medical check-ups. most of them went well, i learned i have psoriasis that’s like, inherited, and there’s no way to cure it but it’s also not particularly dangerous and there’s some creams and shampoos n shit for it which seem to work. i found out i have a pretty bad allergy to one type of pollen and a moderate one to like bedbugs or whatever, so that’s cool

i also went to obgyn and it was ok, turns out what i have is pcos or smth similar so its more a hormonal issue, so i got some blood tests done and brought them to the endocrinologist. and did not have a good time there

the first thing she asked as soon as i entered the room was when i started gaining weight, then proceeded to ask me other things related to my weight, then proceeded to prescribe me weight loss and exercise and recommended a nutritionist and she also pretty much refused to explain how weight loss specifically would help my condition and it was just. i had an amazing experience with all the other doctors i went to but this one just treated me like a number on a scale and IT WAS ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY AS WELL

this is exactly why i haven’t been to a doctor outside of a dentist in years, because i either expected to be diagnosed with something deadly and terrible or to be dismissed because of my weight, and while im glad the first one didnt happen, the second one sure felt like a punch in the gut. so i was actually open to going to the nutritionist she recommended just to see what said nutritionist would say or if she’d be open to actually explaining stuff, but she doesn’t have any open slots until january and i don’t rlly wanna wait until then. i do not want to die anyway bc i just can’t see how it would help and after having done some research it seems it doesn’t help as much as doctors think it should

like just thinking about it logically, i have a hormonal issue which means even just maintaining a certain weight is a lot more difficult than for other people, LET ALONE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. and how does decreasing the number on the scale help my fucking hormones anyway. i do not understaaaaaaaaaand. she didn’t say that i need more of a specific nutrient or mineral or vitamin or anything that would help said hormones, she just said i needed to lose weight since that /might/ help my periods become more regular and it might also help with preventing some other diseases i’m more prone to due to this particular condition and also because im fat. that’s what she said at least

she did prescribe me lots of vitamin d which is good in general i guess but she didn’t say what specifically it would help me with. but i dont wanna go back to this doctor anyway. and id love to look for another doctor who’d actually look past my weight and actually explain stuff and be helpful, but i live in eastern europe so i’d pretty much need a miracle to find such a doctor. and sadly my time and money aren’t infinite so idk what the fuck to do. i can’t just leave it untreated and hope for the best. i mean i could. but that’s never a good idea and knowing my luck it’ll def bite me in the ass if the world doesn’t end first, sooooooooo.

it’s all so fucked. OH AND I SHOULD ALSO GO TO THE PSYCHOLOGIST OR PSYCHIATRIST AT SOME POINT. THAT’LL BE FUN. I CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE A TERRIBLE TIME AND ALSO TO NOT BE DIAGNOSED WITH WHAT I ACTUALLY HAVE. HAHA. ok that’s an exaggeration, it prob won’t be that bad whenever it happens and i also can’t know that i actually have it unless i get diagnosed but. yea. f u n.

#my posts #my rambles #read more #long post #my rants #lifeblogging #srsly pls dont read this its an angry post #and possibly a triggering one due to talk of medical fatphobia and stuff like that

[crepuscollo]

you know what i think the problem is? i continuously let people who don’t meet my mandatory needs into my life. thats why i end up hurt. i never told them what i need and half the time idk what i need anyway. i just let things go for everyone. i dont speak up. i usually dont even know it bothered me till later. and sometimes i think thats j how things are and i cant fix them theres nthn this person can do; blame everything on myself. from here on out, i wanna rlly make sure that i communicate my feelings. im so fucking tired of my emotional needs not being met and walking over myself and just keeping the peace. well, im not at peace.

god. i always let them. im “unproblematic” “low maintenance” “carefree” “everything is simple and nothing is a big deal”. right? cause thats how i gotta be. or else everything would go up in flames. this is how i was fucking raised alright?

my mum makes everything a problem w ruins everything for everyone. so im never gonna be like my mum; always sharing her opinion and expressing herself and saying things and shit. even if all of it is stress, its easier to not show it, it’s easier fof everyone around u. and its not like its unhealthy, right? no bad side effects. and its not like thsres room for 2 stressed and overwhelmed indiciduals right? there cant be. i havs to stay sane. cause she has to act insane.

my dad on the other hand? dont care. carefree. life is simple. life is too short to worry and stress and react and feel. unbothered, unprovoked, uninterested. he seems happy he seems okay. and my mum doesnt.

so how the fuck do u think i turned out? my dad telling me the way to live ur life is to not care and not cause problems and j give ppl simple solutions to their problems. just salek. and no one and no thing can be a problem big enough to make u give a reaction or stress or falter. keep the peace, yeah? all this while my mums anxiety eats away at her. constantly worrying ab this and that and overwhelmed and overstimulated and her minds in bits and pieces and here and there and not sleeping and not focusing not asking no more fucks to give no more space to care about her daughter and fuck, no one gives a shit. LIFE IS EASY ITS SIMPLE JUST DONT WORRY ABOUT NOTHING.

so, how. the fuck. do you think i turned out?

i bottled up my emotions so much to the point where im so overwhelmed but i cant even pinpoint a single feeling. its just all there, overflowing, but i cant see it. i cant feel it. i dont know how. and im afraid that if i start i wont be able to stop.

fun fact: when im crying i dont like being held. i want space. i need reassurance and being told im normal im okay ill be fine cuz it may seem pointless but i need to hear it “youre okay. its okay. youre okay. everything will work out. ill be there. together well make everything right again. dont worry, okay? we got this. you and me? we got this. there’s nothing we cant handle. nothing. is everything is in our hands and is handled and is fine. dont worry. please dont worry. we got this.” and god, i need my tears to be wiped away by some loving hands.

dont talk. just listen to me. tell me that if i share it, and say it, and let you in, well be in it together, and youll help me, and hear me out, and share and unbiased outside perspective. tell me you care so much you just want to take my pain away. you want to hear it. all my thoughts that are eating away at me, if i let them out they lose their power. tell me why you wanna know and dont tell me u wanna know bec u wanna help tell me u wanna know bec u wanna keep me safe and u care and u dojt think i should be alone in my mind. then stop talking. dont over do it. dont be desperate. i need to know its okay if i dont talk. once u tell me ur here with me and i have space to say everything out loud, then create that space with your silence. give me a moment. i need a moment to say it. dont interrupt me. dont give ur opinion. dont try to guess what i want. just dont try. tell me to tell u exactly what it is that i need. let me tell u the story and everything and then ill tell u oh this situation is making me sad or making me regretful so that means i need comforting or ill tell u idk what to do or im confused or idk how i feel then i need advice or if im j overwhelmed and stressed and needed to talk then i need a distraction. let me tell u what i want because if u interrupt or guess or give the wrong expression at the wrong moment itll make me feel misunderstood and unable to communicate how i feel and ill stop trying to talk. i need u to wipe away my tears and give me kisses. not hugs. kisses. let me initiate the hugs.