#sometimes you write 1500 words of commentary for a sitcom

[movetothesuburbs]

Fatherhood in Sunny

 My favorite thing is daddy issues, so of course I gravitate to a show that has so many. So many. It’s always daddy issues in Philadelphia. Uh, I have a lot of thoughts, so I’m just going to jump right in.

Frank Reynolds: World’s Best Dad* *as long as he didn’t raise you

Frank is undoubtedly just the worst person and that bleeds into his role as father. He was largely absent while Dennis and Dee were growing up, the only support he provided was financial. Emotional support was completely non-existent. This leaves us with highly privileged, emotionally stunted people. (Barbara did have a hand in this with harsh criticism of Dee and high praise for Dennis, so yay for toxic parents all around)

Frank poisons and pimps his children as a way to gain more power and money. Dennis falls into the trap more often than Dee does, or at least in a more compliant way. Dee resents people telling her what to do, while Dennis crumbles when people fall into a caretaker role for him. We see this in The Gang Gets Whacked when Dennis just completely loses all sense of independence with Frank as his pimp. We get a glimpse of this in Mac and Dennis Break Up, where Dennis is barely able to function without Mac telling him what to do or doing simple tasks for him.

Dee has verged in the opposite direction. While she still craves the same validation that Dennis does, if she doesn’t get it when she asks for it she decides to try and prove her worth by showing how much she can do on her own. She takes over whatever scheme on her own, or makes a show of how helpful and stable she is. (she isn’t) Dee tries to convince herself that she’s grown up without trauma, Dennis lets the trauma consume him.

The fact that Frank is not their biological father doesn’t end up affecting the dynamic so much. The damage is already done, so when the twins try to connect with their bio dad, they’re unable to form a genuine emotional connection. (as an aside i love the choice of actor being the dad from 7th Heaven) They are fundamentally broken people, largely due to Frank’s influence, so they resort to scamming and scheming. Bruce highlights all the attributes that Frank is lacking: charity and empathy. He tries with the twins but ultimately knows that relationship won’t work out and chooses to distance himself from them. Frank, sticks around, joining in on the shenanigans, but never giving them the love and care they so desperately crave and deserved growing up.

But things with Charlie and Mac are different. The way Frank treats Charlie is much kinder than he treats the rest of the world. It’s unclear if Frank is Charlie’s bio dad, but that hardly matters. Their relationship really blurs the line between familial/romantic/platonic. It’s strange and beautiful and disgusting. Get you a man who will play nightcrawlers with you. Still they get along well and Frank does a lot to take care of Charlie, both financially and emotionally. (in that weird codependent unhealthy way of theirs.)

Charlie grew up without a dad and his mom being was a sex worker (no shame in that, but maybe don’t bring a bunch of strange men around your kid). Speaking of, it’s pretty fucked up that the only consistent adult male figure Charlie had growing up was an uncle who molested him. There’s also a lot to unpack with the fact that uncle Jack is a lawyer, which is a career that Charlie latched onto. (You are not a certified bird lawyer but I support you) When all is said and done, Frank is the best father figure Charlie has.

And in a weird way, he’s also the best father figure Mac has. But I can’t really go into that without talking about Luther

Luther McDonald: A Dad, I Guess* *I hope he gets shanked in prison

Mac grew up neglected on all sides of the table. He was poor, his dad was in and out of prison, and he needed to deal drugs just to be somewhat accepted by his peers. Luther does not love his son. Whenever they do interact, Luther is critical, manipulative, and witholds affection. Again we can bring up the way Mac and Dennis interact with each other. Dennis, in general, is more affectionate with Mac, at least in earlier seasons. They’re on more equal footing and Mac often manipulates Dennis right back. I promise this isn’t an entire post about how Mac and Dennis project their daddy issues on each other, but they sure do that don’t they?

Luther simply doesn’t care about Mac and shows open contempt for him. Mac has been vying for this man’s approval since he was a child. It’s important for Mac to come out to his dad. Regardless of how Mac feels about the outcome, Luther walking out provides some closure. If there isn’t any acceptance in that moment then there never will be.

That brings us back to Frank. Throughout Mac Finds His Pride, he keeps saying that he doesn’t it and never will. But the thing is, he tries. He makes the effort to try and help Mac find his place as a gay man, because even if he doesn’t get it, he supports him. As weird as that is coming from Frank. And in the end he does understand Mac better. So not to praise Frank too highly as a father because he is a disgusting little man who abuses and neglects his own children, but he did kind of adopt Charlie and Mac in his own way.

But we have another father to talk about, too.

Dennis Reynolds: Father of the Year* *I guess. Who knows what happened in North Dakota? Not us. Maybe Mandy and Brian Jr. died

So, obviously, Dennis isn’t someone you’d think of as father material. It would cramp his image as cool bachelor. But the fact is, he totally bailed on the chance to hook up with some mom at the waterpark to spend his whole day with a cool kid. And he was ready to lay into who he thought was her parent. He saw a smart kid, and made a weird connection to her. And even when she swindled him, he was so proud of her. Sure, teaching your kid tips on how to swindle people isn’t good parenting, but it was a bonding experience. His day with Abby was probably the most genuine connection he made to anyone outside of the gang. Sometimes you adopt a daughter for a day.

There was no pressure or expectation with Abby, though. That could be brushed off as just Dennis being weird. Dennis definitely has an idea in his head about what he is supposed to be and what he needs to do to fill those roles. He doesn’t have a strong sense of identity and will latch onto certain expectations. When Mandy shows up with a baby she named after him (or, rather, fake him) it brings to light all the things that society expects. You grow up, you get married, you have children. It’s normal. It’s grounded in something. It’s what is expected of the straight male experience. (when Dennis says things like “As a straight man” i can feel my soul leave my body with shock every time)

The immediate response from the gang is to get him out of this situation. Because one of the roles Dennis has so carefully crafted for himself is the cool, straight bachelor who can’t be tied down by any woman. Throughout the whole thing, we see his resolve crumble. Frank was a piece of shit father, and Dennis has seen how Mac and Charlie turned out without dads. He’s thinking about the consequences of not filling this specific role. (Mandy is amazing af though and would definitely raise a stable child without Dennis’s help)

The crushing weight of your own trauma can make you do some crazy things. Like make you leave your entire life behind to go be a dad in North Dakota because you think that is the correct thing to do. We don’t know what happened there, but the fact that he came back indicates that it didn’t pan out. Maybe Dennis isn’t cut out to be a dad when faced by the expectations of the nuclear family. The fact is, he could be a wildly interesting father who encourages his kids, or maybe he’d just end up feeling trapped and having a breakdown. There’s a lot of fatherhood trauma in there

A Conclusion of Sorts

With all of the gang dealing with their relationship to fatherhood, it is interesting that Dennis, Mac, and Charlie were all fully willing to take up the mantle of father for the baby Dee gave birth to. I don’t for one minute think they would have raised a “normal” child, and it’s likely they would have fallen into the same patterns they saw growing up, but to embrace the idea and be excited about it is certainly something. Mac was ready to raise an entire child with Dennis (That was probably more to do with Dennis than it was about being a dad). Time and time again we see the gang confronted with fatherhood and either embracing it or rejecting it. Dads really fuck you up!

#iasip meta #iasip #sometimes you write 1500 words of commentary for a sitcom #also i know i talk about mac a lot but he's my fave so i'm not ashamed of my clear bias #also i think sometimes the read more is broken on mobile #so i apologize for that