wheres that post about how everything about dio is hilarious. he was trapped in a custom made coffin for 100 years and apparently brought a book and pen with him to write a diary, where he correctly guessed the coordenates in which gravity is lighter, went to visit that place after freed. got 3 women pregnant in the meanwhile. wrote how his children had to be strong, like him, so they should have "evil" (bad) childhoods, like him. guessed correctly again and created 4 insanely powerful stand users. one of them is eternally resentful to life because he couldn't go to disney and developed his stand so everyone in orlando, florida, can be haunted by the dead. the other has the power to literally create and uncreate life, and at 15 not only became *the* mafia boss of italy, but gained the power to put people into ever looping alternative universes, for eternity. the other two can control an ancient flesh eating swarm of creatures and bring every single illustrated character to life, respectively, but theyre not that important.
back to gravity, in his travel to florida he sneaked into a church to avoid sunlight. got caught by a 16 year old altar boy/priest in training. told him he was allergic to sunlight. was so absolutely drunk in his god complex that went "well i dont feel anything strong right now but clearly if you are meeting Me it must be fate so hit me up when you want to become powerful" then leaves while doing the ricardo turn
and that 16 year old? grew up to be what is considered the most competent villain in all of jojos. which means he guessed correctly, again
Don't keep secrets au
Slade: Nightwing really losing his touch on keeping secrets, now tell me what do I need to do to get him to join me.
Wally: got red hair?
Wally: are you a great dad?
Wally: shitty parents?
Wally: we ain't got a lot to work with here man.
Slade: I did Batman once, does that helps?
Wally: you don't want me to answer that.
Slade: so... With all your have said I'm not going to get him to join me willingly.
Wally: or forcibly either.
Slade: he's not going to save you he's off planet.
Wally: yeah, and arsenal is busy with the outlaws stuff but I have others who worry about my safety.
Slade: I know how all the bats fight, and I'm not worried about league members coming after me.
Wally: I know but I wasn't talking about them.
Slade: *snorts* then who?
Wally: Gotham's siren's, and adding the black eye, busted lip, and a tetanus wonderland of a wearhouse you chose to tie me up in, I say you got six broken bones headed your way. Thank god you didn't kill me though.
Slade, worried: and if I did?
Wally: Nightwing and arsenal will have your head. Joker killed second Robin with a crowbar, he killed joker with the same murder weapon and arsenal is not above killing people at times sooo.
Slade, started untie Wally quick: shit shit shit-
Cat woman: ah good, doing the work before the fun starts.
Slade: *high pitched screams*
Important Jobs - Chibs Telford x Reader
Pairing: Chibs Telford X Reader
Warnings: Mention of guns, blood, pregnancy, swearing.
Summary: After getting pistol whipped, you and Chibs have a discussion about safety.
Note: Listen... it's short, it's sweet, it's what I needed to wind down after work. I love this man.
“Tara seriously,” you laughed pushing her hand away from where she was holding a cloth to your eyebrow, “I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.”
“Y/N, the bitch hit you with her gun. You’ve got blood everywhere and a fucking egg forming on your forehead. You are not fine,” she gently pulled the cloth away and you saw her cringe when the bleeding continued, hurriedly pressing it right back on your injury causing you to hiss, “Sorry. This shouldn’t need stitches. You sure you don’t feel dizzy? Sick at all?”
You shook your head, abruptly stopping when Tara grabbed your chin and gave a stern look. You loved your friend, you really did. And it was unbelievably handy having a doctor so handy, especially for times like this. But right now, all you wanted to do was crawl your way down to the dorms and pass out wrapped in a comfortable blanket. It had been a big night.
“No, Tarz. No dizziness, no wooziness, no seeing double, no concussion.” You smiled at the wall but quickly dropped it when you heard a new voice enter the room.
“And no fuckin’ common sense either apparently,” Chibs stood with his arms crossed in the doorway, even though you were hidden by Tara’s form you could feel his glare on you, “Doc, do you mind givin’ me and my lovely lady a minute.”
It wasn’t said as a question. Tara caught your eye and asked you a silent question. You lifted the corner of your lip slightly and nodded, lifting your hand to take hold of the cloth on your eyebrow.
Chibs shifted closer, sharing a look with Tara as she left the room.
“You want to explain what happened tonight, my lovely?”
You rolled your eyes, “I’m you would’ve heard by now.”
He sighed deeply, pursing his lips and staring at the wall behind before he made his way over to have a closer look at your injury, “Aye, I heard. What the fuck were you doing wrestling a gun out of that crazy gash’s hands?”
“She was pointing the thing at Tara, Chibs! You should’ve seen her - she would’ve used it. I didn’t think she was gonna fucking pistol whip me.”
He muttered a stop movin’ at your animated explanation, “Ima’s fuckin’ nuts, Y/N. You know that.”
You sighed and nodded lightly. He was right, Ima was nuts. When she’d shown up looking for a night with Jax you knew the evening was going to be anything but boring. You hadn’t expected her to pull a gun on Tara after she’d told her that he wasn’t there and to fuck off. So what if Tara had socked her in the eye first?
Chibs tilted your head up to face him, bending down to give you a light peck, “No more fuckin’ gun fights. That’s my job.”
“How come you get the exciting job.” You joked, gazing up at him. He chuckled and checked the light swelling on your eyebrow.
“Because you, my lovely, have to take it easy while you’re growin’ our babe,” one of his hands drifted down to your noticeable bump, “That’s the most important job.”
You hummed in agreement, “I wish your ‘wee babe’ would hold back on the morning sickness.”
Chibs let out a laugh through his nose and got to his knees in front of you, bringing his forehead to rest on your growing stomach, “I’m sure she’ll make it up to you when she gets here.”
You ran a hand through his greying hair, “She?” You felt him hum against your shirt.
“I know these things. Call it Scottish intuition.”
“I guess wisdom comes with age.” That earned you a pinch on the thigh.
“You’re lucky I love you, you cheeky shite.”
“Could say the same, old man.”
Chibs shook his head and used your thighs to push himself up so he was level with your face, “No more putting yourself in those situations, Y/N. I’m serious.”
You raised a hand to cup his face and brushed your thumb against his cheek, “I know. No more gun fighting. Promise.”
He pressed a firm kiss to your lips, “Good lass.”
yknow how Jin Ling is supposed to look just like Jiang Cheng, like to the point of being brothers? And Jiang Cheng is supposed to look just like his mother?
Jin Ling hearing from Wei Wuxian about Jiang Cheng's old wispy hair and deciding he wants to know what the fuss is about and (after much deliberation between the juniors) finally gets it just right.
Jiang Cheng gives him a raised eyebrow when he gets onto the training field with him, but ignores it because teens are just weird and tells him to pull out his sword.
Then Wei Wuxian comes trotting up the pier in time to see Jiang Cheng in the pale blue his mother always favored and beside him is Jin Ling with his one whisp.
And for a moment it's not Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling.
For a moment it's Madam Yu standing protectively behind her son, a sword in one hand and the whip in the other. Fifteen year old Jiang Cheng is frowning, but when he hears Wei Wuxian's shout he lights up with a smile and turns to his mother. Madam Yu doens't look happy and her eyes narrow on Wei Wuxian even as she gives a stiff nod. If Wei Wuxian turned around then Yanli should be-
"Wei Wuxian, are you just going to stand there all day! Oi, you, stop that noise." Jiang Cheng's voice rings out and the image is gone.
There's no grinning Jiang Cheng and instead Jin Ling's head is rolling back as he makes the loudest sigh in the world. Madam Yu isn't standing behind them like she's waiting to fight the world, instead Jiang Cheng's tugging on Jin Ling's pony tail and watching him flail with an angry shout.
"You taught him to be like this, before you came back he had manners." Jiang Cheng snaps and Wei Wuxian's still blinking at the afterimage of his first life. "Well? Get your ass up here and help me fix that. God, it's like you're only in my house for food, earn your keep."
“Who says I’m not?” Wei Wuxian grins and springs up, arm already up to sling around Jiang Cheng’s shoulders.