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#song is i know a place by MUNA :>
munamania · 27 days
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maybe this is just a curse of the circles i find myself in on this internet but some people will jump in with a QUICKNESS to talk about how much they dont like "popular" lesbian music and how there arent any good lesbian musicians that aren't just depressing and they DONT want to hear about muna or chappell roan and they for sure need you to know that they dont want to hear any of that shit at the club. and along with the insane backlash or just blatant ignoring of dyke media (esp when it does have to do. with sex.) it's like damn you people really saw some lesbians having fun for once and decided you needed to make it your problem expeditiously. you said shut that shit down. christ!
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trueblueboygenius · 9 months
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Top 5 MUNA songs?
oh god this is hard uhhhhh....
Taken
Stayaway
Pink Light
Home by Now
Everything
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pettybourgeoiz · 1 year
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✰Bourgeoiz Music Discovery✰
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rotisseries · 1 year
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okay maybe i have to listen to muna now. i know the one song (silk chiffon) bc it fits some oc's, but since they're now officially peer-reviewed and approved... 👀
you absolutely should!!! i've been listening to them a lot the past few days, they're so good! here's some of my favorite songs of theirs to start you off:
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moodriingz · 4 months
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Into Your Room | L. Hughes
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Summary | Luke breaks up with the reader and they're both miserable
Pairing | Luke Hughes x reader, Jack Hughes x platonic! reader, Ethan Edwards x platonic! reader
Warning | Breakups ? and maybe three curse words ? that's about it!
Author's Note | This is my first post! I'm so excited because I love this song and all I could think about for a couple of days was this scenario. Please send requests and what you think!
Masterlist
You and Luke started dating while he was at the University of Michigan. Sure, you knew when He went to play for the Devils long-distance would be difficult because of your classes and his practices and games but you wanted to try. So it came as a shock when Luke broke up with you halfway through the summer after his NHL Debut.
“Y/N I really think we need to take a breather,” said Luke while you were both watching the sunset on the beach of the lake house. 
“What?” You asked. It felt like your world came crashing down out of nowhere. You guys had barely been together a year. But you were inseparable at school and during the summers. 
“Yeah, I just need to focus on hockey right now and you have your classes. I just don’t think it’s going to work out,” Luke rambled.
“But I want to make it work. I told you that before you left for New Jersey,” 
“I don’t want to be held back because of some relationship,” Luke said and you stayed quiet. Your heart was shattering and he was stomping all over it.
“Ok, I’ll get all of my stuff and go back home. No point in wasting any time I guess,” You said with blurry eyes.
You packed up your bag and got ready to go. You saw Jack on the way out and gave him a hug goodbye.
“I don’t know what He’s thinking. I’m sure He’ll come around. It'll all work out,” Jack said into your hair even though it felt like he was trying to convince himself instead of you.
“It’s fine Jack, just take care of him for me,” you said and left the house and got in your car without looking back at one of your favorite places in the world. 
I will run after your moving car
And I will follow you
You're my northern star
Luke was miserable for the rest of the summer. He didn’t want to admit it but he was lost without you. He wished he stopped your car as you left. He regretted everything he said. He was just scared you would find someone better than him at school now that he wasn't there.
Luke told himself that once the season started he wouldn’t have time to think about how much he missed you. Boy was he wrong.
He stalked your Instagram in his free time. He was sure he was almost always the first viewer of any story you posted and had to force himself to ignore your profile picture anytime it came up when he opened the app.
You looked like you hadn’t missed a beat once you got back to school. Always posting when you’d go out with friends or when you’d study at your favorite coffee shop.
You both had so many great memories there anytime you’d post your coffee order he could basically hear the espresso machines and the smell of coffee. He'd remember your laughter from when he had gotten foam on his top lip. Or the time you were so nervous for finals and wouldn’t look up from your computer until he got you a refill of your coffee. Your smile was so bright from such a small gesture he knew he had to do anything he could to see it.
Except he did the opposite. His last memory of you was full of tears as he watched your car pull away. He didn’t know what to do. Luke was a mess while you seemed fine. How could he ever convince you to take him back?
You don't know how much I need you
Yeah, I feel the weight
It's crushing me
You were a mess coming back to school. You missed Luke more than you thought you would. The two of you spent so much time together and when you couldn’t be with each other you would text every chance you’d get.
You missed his goofy smile and curly hair. Luke Hughes was everywhere. The memory of him was in the Library where you would have study dates, He was in your favorite bar where he couldn’t take his eyes off of you all night, He was in your classes where you would sit together and whisper random things back and forth. He was everywhere except where you needed him to be. With you.
Your friends always dragged you out even when all you wanted to do was stay in and watch your favorite TV show and wallow. They always made sure to take good photos so you could post “to make Luke know what he’s missing” they’d always say. 
They basically had a schedule set of when to study with you or get coffee. You didn’t mean to make them watch over you as much as you did, but you couldn’t help how much you needed Luke. 
Finally one night You convinced them that you were too busy with homework to hang out when really you were going to watch the New Jersey Devils season opener. Ethan Edwards saw right through your lies about studying because he knew you liked to finish most of your work at the beginning of the week.
He insisted on watching the game with you and you let him because he was the only one who remotely knew what you were feeling. You both watched pregame, and when the commentators showed Luke all you could notice were his eyebags and how tired he looked. Your heart shattered all over again.
You watched him get his first assist of the season and your heart clenched. If you were still together he would’ve called you after the game and told you all about it. Now you just felt like a spectator while he was all you could think about. Ethan turned to you and noticed how upset you were with tears threatening to spill over. He was tired of seeing his friends destroy themselves.
So, maybe, take me into your room
Without you, my soul is eternally doomed
You're the center of this universe
My sorry ass revolves around you
No, I can't do without you
Jack couldn’t take Luke’s self-pity anymore. All he would do was look at his phone and play hockey. Jack could tell it was affecting Luke more than he was letting on. His eyes were almost always bloodshot and he looked like he was moving through the motions at practice. 
Luke was a shell of his former self and Jack knew he had to do something. He texted Ethan because he knew that besides Luke that’s who you would talk to the most. They both started plotting to get you back together. The Devils had a game against the Red Wings right before Thanksgiving and knew there had to be some way to get you there.
Ethan practically begged on his knees for you to come to the game. He told you he was gifted the tickets and would feel horrible to not go. Everyone else had already left for Thanksgiving, leaving you as his only option.
You weren’t stupid. You knew the game was against the Devils. You had the date marked in your planner as when you would have seen Luke if you were still together. You both looked forward to the game because it was the first time you would’ve seen him play in the NHL and then you would've gone to his parent’s lake house for Thanksgiving the next day. At least that's what was supposed to happen. 
You only agreed to Ethan because you felt bad no one else could go. Ethan promised no funny business, and you could leave the game the second the final buzzer went off. It felt safe and you could see Jack. You missed Luke, but you were also close with Jack. It was something Luke loved about you, how great you got along with his brothers. 
Luke had no idea about the plan Jack and Ethan were brewing. He was especially miserable because he knew if he didn’t mess up the best thing in his life several months ago, you would be at the game cheering him on. He was in hell beating himself over it. All he wanted was to see you in the Jersey he gave you right before his NHL debut. 
Ethan came and picked you up all giddy when he noticed you were wearing a Hughes 43 jersey.
“What? It’s the only Devils gear I have, and I’m sure as hell not going to cheer for them in a Red Wings jersey,” You said without taking a breath.
“I wasn’t even going to say anything.”
You two find your seats and you realize how close to the ice it is. You’re on the Devils side facing the bench a couple rows up from the ice. Luke is definitely going to see you because of your proximity.
“If you had told me how close we were going to be I definitely would’ve worn-” You said before getting cut off.
“Don’t even finish that sentence we’re rooting for my team tonight,” Ethan said talking over the music.
The Devils start coming out for warm up and it doesn’t take Luke more than two seconds to see you. You both lock eyes and don’t look away. He notices you’re in the jersey he gave you, and his heart flutters with hope. He just stands there looking at you until Nico pushes him to tell him has to get ready for the game. You, however, look like a deer in headlights and your heart stops. You hadn’t seen Luke since the summer. Tears start to gather in your eyes and you know you have to leave.
“Ethan I can’t do this. I can’t be here,” You say with tears starting to fall.
“Please you promised me plus he can’t even do anything he’s on the ice,” Ethan says trying to convince you knowing it won’t work.
You start to gather your things when Luke notices. He rushes across the ice and knocks on the glass to get your attention. You instantly regret looking his way, but his eyes look desperate and excited your heart flutters the tiniest bit. 
You read his mouth as he begs you to stay. You just look at him and Ethan debating what to do. You decide to stay and see what happens. Ethan's right he can’t do anything while he’s on the ice, right?
I'm throwing stones at your window
To get you to notice me
Don't make me stand outside, in the pouring rain
With a freshly ripped human heart from my rib cage
And a boom-box
How pathetic, babe
It was a hard loss for the Devils, but the end of the game meant you could finally leave. Ethan was right, Luke didn’t bother you for the rest of the game besides constantly looking at you when he wasn’t on the ice or there was a faceoff right in front of your seats.
As you and Ethan are getting ready to leave you get a text.
From moosey
please don’t leave
i really want to talk
You showed Ethan and he looked at you bewildered.
“You never changed his name?”
“I never had the heart,” You say looking back down at the texts. The three bubbles show up and disappear over and over again.
“I think you should go. What's the worst that could happen, right?” Ethan asks. 
“I don’t know he can rip my heart out all over again and tell me off for coming to his game,” You say, swaying on your toes to your heels.
“He won’t do that trust me,” You don’t even have the energy to ask Ethan as your anxiousness bubbles up to your throat.
To moosey
where can we meet?
From moosey
come down to the locker room i can tell security you and ethan are coming
To moosey
ok 
Luke has to stop himself from running to you when you get to the locker room. He wants to pick you up and spin you around like he used to do after his Michigan games. Instead, he walks up to you and says a simple hi.
“What did you want to talk about?” You whisper nervous about what he has to say.
“Us.” Your breath stops ready for him to tell you off for coming.
“I fucked up ending our relationship,” He says with his eyes turning red.
“Luke, why now? I was ready to fight for us but you dismissed me like I was nothing to you.” 
“Because I was scared,” He admits. “I was scared you’d find someone who’d be able to give you more attention than I could. And that’s what you deserve, but God I can’t be without you. You’re the opposite of nothing, you’re my everything and I’m so lost without you. The last couple of months have been absolute hell.”
“You should’ve talked to me. I would’ve told you there’s no one better for me than you. The last couple of months have wrecked me.” You tell him.
So, don't turn away
You must know how much I need you, need you
Yeah, I can feel your pain
I hate to think how bad I treated you
But I know a place
Where the darkness can't reach us
“Please forgive me. Please can we just forget this all happened?” Luke begs you.
You just nod and launch yourself into his arms for a kiss. He deepens it by holding you in by your hair. Your heart flutters and you never want this moment to end.
“Would it be too much to ask you to spend Thanksgiving with us? I just don’t want to spend any more time away from you. But I get it-,” Luke asks nervously before you cut him off.
“No I’d love to come, I miss everybody.”
“Did I miss it? Did our plan work?” Jack comes into the hallway shouting excitedly.
“What plan?” Luke asks Ethan and Jack.
“You didn’t,” You say.
“Oh but we did, who do you think gave me the tickets?” said Ethan mischievously.
“Well I guess your plan did work, good job boys,” you say with a blush on your cheeks.
Luke kisses your cheek and tells Jack you are spending Thanksgiving with the family and you won't be going anywhere anytime soon. You finally feel like you’re back where you belong. While Luke feels the relief of finally having his world back. 
No, I can't do without you, baby
Maybe, take me into your room
Without you, my soul is eternally doomed
You're the center of this universe
My sorry ass revolves around you
You— And again
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spaceshipellie · 9 months
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everything’s about you to me
ellie williams x reader
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prologue (masterlist for other parts) *✧・゚: wc: 1.7k
summary: in the midst of the apocalypse, you and ellie find each other after you’ve both lost everything. what started out as a mere safety in numbers pairing, turns into something imperishable. however, after some time you get separated, leaving you both to believe the other is dead. four years later you find a commune in wyoming.
warnings: set in tlou universe. reader is 16 in the prologue but is 19+ for the rest of the story, weapons, gunshots, death, violence, no mention of ellie yet but all in due course cuties, is this going to be a slow burn? maybe… 18+ mdni
author’s note: this fic was originally inspired by the song everything by muna. i’m so excited for this, if you want to be added to the tag list lmk! i have no idea how many parts this will be but i expect it’ll be quite long. thanks for reading loves <3
♪ ‘cause the world could be burning, and all i’d be thinking, is “how are you doing, baby?”
˚ · • . ° .
You didn’t know it yet, but your time in the Pittsburgh QZ was wearing thin. You had lived there your entire life, sixteen years to be exact. For people who lived pre-outbreak, a military-controlled quarantine zone probably didn’t seem like much of a home, but it was all you knew. Your dad was a smuggler and whilst for the past few years had managed to keep you and your mom out of it, his current job was proving to be riskier than originally anticipated.
“You said it would be quick,” you heard his seething whisper whilst you backed yourself against the other side of the wall, listening in.
“It was supposed to be! look, man, I’m sorry,” another man’s voice said.
“Just–fuck, just make sure we get the stuff we need before we hand anything over, alright?”
“We’ll try.”
“No,” you could hear shoving, “you will, understand?”
“Yes,” you could tell the man was nervous despite trying to hide it.
“If this goes wrong, they’ll come after us, and my family. I know this is a fucked up situation and I should never have got involved with that fucking Aaron guy in the first place but here we are and I am not letting my wife and daughter die because of me, got it?”
Die? Your blood ran cold wondering what on earth your dad had gotten involved with this time. You heard the man mumble out a “yes” before the door shut and your dad sighed and banged his fist against the table. Not wanting to get caught, you creeped back to your room.
Once inside, you settled into the beat-up armchair that you had pushed against the window and stared out at the night sky. Stars twinkled and the moon shone a bright white. For a moment, you could pretend you were somewhere else. Somewhere where everything looked this beautiful. It was a stark contrast to the withered frame of dust and peeling paint.
You could hear muffled voices coming from your parent’s room. They sounded like they were arguing and said something about talking to this Aaron guy on the radio. They did that a lot these days. argue. You knew they still loved each other but after silently analysing their relationship over the years, you could see that something of a ‘spark’ had gone. Then again, what did you know, it’s not like you had ever been in love. The closest you had ever gotten to a connection with anyone had been with Amy. When her hair would get caught in her mouth as you both stood on a roof laughing at how the wind parachuted your coats, you wanted to reach out and untangle it for her. Sometimes she would give you this look where her eyes would soften and her dimples would make themselves known as she smiled. It would make your heart skip a beat and you would forget what you were supposed to be doing. You guessed that’s just how best friend’s felt about each other. Completely lost in a trance, you didn’t notice the sound of thundering footsteps down the hall until a rough hand grabbed your arm.
“What?”
“We’re leaving,” your dad’s voice was indignant and stern.
“Leaving? where?”
Your mom burst through the door, her face soaked in fear.
“Charlie, please,” she pleaded, grabbing his arm.
“I’m sorry but we have to go.”
“Go where?” you demanded. You could feel the goosebumps raise on your arms. He couldn’t be talking about escaping, could he?
“We’re leaving the QZ. Come on, grab your stuff.” You just froze.
“Come on!” he yelled before running a hand over his face. He collected his anger just enough to look you in the eye and speak clearly.
“I don’t have time to explain, but some guys have fucked me over and it is safer for us to escape and leave.”
“But we’ll be killed!”
“We will be if we stay here. Now please, grab your stuff.”
His last three words came out with a bite and you thought better of arguing further. You looked across the room to your mum and she made a poor attempt at giving you a comforting look. Tears stung against your waterline and you quickly wiped them away with your sleeve before grabbing your things together. Not everything of course. Not the Thelma and Louise poster you found once or the sketch Amy had drawn of the two of you before she died. But the essentials. Torches, jackets, guns, knives.
Your dad looked out the window, making a mental note of military whereabouts, before encouraging you and your mum out the door. You didn’t want to leave. You had never been outside the QZ and had only heard horror stories. Thoughts of where you would go once you got out, if you got out, clouded your mind. It scared you to think of what kind of trouble your dad had gotten himself into that needed such drastic action. You knew he did bad things but you knew he wasn’t the only one and there wasn’t much you could do about it. When he first started smuggling you had been afraid all the time, but over the years you became numb to it. That’s just what he did. But now all of those fears were resurfacing and you weren’t ready to face the high chance that you could die tonight.
The three of you were pressed against the outside wall, your dad in front holding his finger to his lips indicating you needed to be quiet. Your parent’s both held guns whilst you clutched your switchblade. It was dark but blinding lights from patrolling tanks occasionally illuminated the dank alleyways.
“We need to get over there, we move on my signal,” you could barely hear your dad’s whisper as he pointed at a metal fence on the other side of the road. You tried your best to be silent but couldn’t help the way your breath shook as you nodded.
After peering around the corner once more, he lifted his hand up, signalling for you to follow him. You had to be agile in order to make it across safely, which luckily was a strength of yours. You may not have ever been outside of the QZ but you had snuck around with Amy enough times to know how to go unnoticed. This was nothing like that though. Sneaking around and being teenagers didn’t feel like a death sentence.
You bumped into your mom’s back as you all suddenly stopped behind a parked truck. It started to rain and you were thankful that the splatters of water might cover up any sounds of laboured breaths and footsteps from you. A bright light casted over the truck as you strained to keep your head below the window. You were moving again and the fence was in sight. The closer you got the more you could make out a chained padlock on a gate. A menacing sign saying “UNAUTHORISED EXITS FROM A QUARANTINE ZONE ARE PUNISHABLE BY DEATH” was hung up next to your heads. Your palms began to sweat as your dad pulled a key from his pocket. You didn’t even want to know what he must have done to get that. He started to unlock and unwind the chains from the gate. You were so close. Maybe this insane plan would actually work.
“Drop your weapons.”
You all froze and slowly turned, initially to squint as a torch shone directly in your eyes. After a few blinks, your vision cleared to see a guard holding up a gun. You felt like you were choking and if anything the grip on your knife tightened instinctively.
“I said drop your weapons.”
You threw your switchblade to the ground. Your parent’s followed suit with their guns. The guard took a step closer.
“Let me exp–,” your dad attempted to reason but was cut off.
“On your knees and put your hands on your head.”
You glanced at your mom and she hesitantly nodded. You sunk to your knees, the cold, wet gravel soaking through your jeans to your skin. Your hands trembled as you placed them on your head. The guard, still aiming his gun at you, checked you all with the infection scanner before stepping back to his original spot.
“Sir, I’ve got three clean but armed people here by gate three. How would you like me to proceed?” he spoke into his handheld transceiver.
“Uh-huh… yes… yes sir.”
Before you could even think, two deafening gunshots went off in quick succession. Your head snapped round and you saw your dad pointing a gun at the guard, as well as a mass of blood soaking his shirt. You noticed the guard stumble and in a blind rush of adrenaline you snatched your switchblade from the floor. Your mom’s hand grabbed you, pulling you back from where the guard was aiming his gun again.
Another bullet fired. Your mom screamed. You grabbed her arm to support her and looked up at your dad for help.
“Go!” he yelled, firing again. You could hear more guards charging towards you.
“Dad,” your voice came out weak and strangled.
“I said go!” you had never heard his voice be this frightening. Fear carried your legs as you pushed your mom through the open gate. You shoved yourself through it as well, not knowing what lay ahead in the darkness before you. You could only focus on getting away from the constant gunshots. You didn’t stop moving but your movements had slowed as you looked back.
“Dad, please!” you yelled, tears making your cheeks hot.
He was being pushed against the fence by three, maybe four faceless guards. You could hear the struggle in his distant grunts as he fought against them. They were beating and shooting until his body went limp on the ground, next to the guard he shot.
“No,” your voice was a mere whisper to yourself. Shock and disbelief ringing in your ears.
“We have to go,” your mom pulled you away, she was crying too, “before they catch up to us.”
You both frantically ran whilst the adrenaline was still controlling you. Your mom groaned with each step. You didn’t even know where she had been hit but at least she was alive. You had got out and there didn’t seem to be anyone chasing you, but your dad was dead. Escaping seemed so futile now. It had been his idea. his plan. His doing that meant you needed to leave in the first place and yet it had ended like this. And now, to no avail, you had no protection. Nothing except what you carried on your back. You were out in the big wide world. A big, wide, terrifying world.
*✧・゚: taglist: @bellasfavelesbo @ximtiredx @abbyily @heartzjules @gold-dustwomxn @sawaagyapong @aouiaa @pinkigirl @nil-eena @ucannotcompare @cherriesxinthespring @blvebanisters
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bitethehnd · 25 days
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Hii, love your writting! ❤️❤️ Can i request one where JB and reader are seen kissing at a party and fans freak out on social media and the next day they look at the posts together?
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₊˚⊹ ʚɞ style !
pairing : julien baker x fem!reader
synopsis : after a fun night out celebrating the boys’ new album, you and julien wake up to madness
cw : really nothing, just fluff and an accidental hard launch. some sexual innuendos, actress!reader because i said so, femme!reader, phoebe being a menace
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you were a fairly well-known actress, julien was a fairly well-known singer. the two of you should have probably known to be more cautious if you didn't want your business showcased all over enews, but neither of you were thinking about that. the boys had just released their album 'the record' last night at midnight. it had done very well on the charts so far, and there was nowhere to go but up from there. you were insanely proud of the women you loved and all of you were celebrating their achievement.
muna had joined you and the boys at the bar you were at. the four of you all sprouted grins as you stood up to greet them. you pulled jo's girlfriend, kelli, in for a long hug.
"hi, baby," kelli said into the hug. you smiled brightly and kissed her cheek.
"thank you for coming, kells. i know it means the world to them that you're all here," you said sweetly as you pulled away.
"are you kidding me? jo wouldn't shut up about seeing them all week." you and kelli started to giggle loudly. jo and julien turned around in amusement at the sound.
"and what are you ladies laughing about?" jo asked sarcastically and raised one eyebrow. julien walked up to you and wrapped one arm around your waist securely, a giddy smile on her face. it made you practically beam to see her so happy.
"i was just telling kelli my elaborate plan to steal her away from you. you better watch out, jo," you winked at the curly-haired woman with a smug smile. jo fake gasped and pulled kelli away from you. the four of you all started to laugh loudly your antics.
"who's ready to party?!" phoebe suddenly yelled over the loud music. you all started hollering and made your way to the bar top. some ordered drinks, but you and julien opted for soda instead. she was sober and you had decided when you two got serious that you wouldn't drink around her. she insisted that it was fine and it didn't bother her in the slightest, but you stuck with your decision. you were sober in spirit for her.
as the drinks were downed, all of you made your way to the dance floor. you cheered in delight as a rihanna song came on, pulling julien to dance with you.
"babyyy," julien whined, "you know i can't dance."
"anyone can dance, jules. now c'mon, just follow my lead," you said and placed her hands on your hips. you guided her movements, instructing her to move her hips in sync with yours. you put your arms around her neck as your bodies got closer together.
julien leaned up and burrowed her head in the crook of your neck, sucking marks onto the delicate skin. you giggled softly at her actions, moving your torso right up against hers. at that point, you two were practically grinding on each other. you could feel the outline of her abs through her button up shirt, and she was right at eye level with your cleavage that was probably spilling out of your top.
neither of you were thinking about anything other than each other, so you failed to see the woman that was recording you sitting at the bar.
after about ten minutes of dancing, you pulled julien's face away from your neck and told her you needed a drink. she, of course, followed you to the bar and ordered a cherry coke for you.
the bartender filled up the glass for you and slid it across the bar. you took a long sip from the straw as julien watched you. she took the drink from your hands and did the same. you sat down on a stool, and she moved to stand in between your legs. you placed the drink down and wrapped your arms around her neck, her pulling you by the waist to get you closer.
"have i told you how proud i am of you?" you asked her as you played with her hair. she let out a soft chuckle.
"have i told you how beautiful you are?" she countered with a smug smile. you laughed loudly and slapped her on the shoulder.
you leaned in to give her a sweet kiss. she immediately responded, kissing you back passionately and gliding her tongue along your bottom lip. you gave her access, letting her tongue into your mouth. you two made out for a few minutes before phoebe came into sight and wolf whistled loudly. you laughed and julien just flipped her off. that night was perfect.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
the next morning, you and julien woke up to phoebe banging on the guest room door. the two of you and lucy decided to stay in the blonde’s apartment, which in hindsight was a bad idea. phoebe stayed up all hours of the night doing god knows what and woke the two of you up so early.
“phoebe! cut it out!” julien whined and rolled over, shoving her head under a pillow. the door practically busted open and phoebe came running in.
“guys, oh my god. you have to see this,” the older woman said and almost threw her phone at you.
you sighed and took her phone from her hands, the blonde bouncing on her feet anxiously. what could have made her so worked up? you didn’t know.
phoebe’s phone was opened to twitter. the tweets on her homepage were filled with videos and pictures of you and julien from last night. your eyes practically bulged out of your head as you scrolled.
“oh my god, julien, get up,” you said with a hardy laugh. the dirty blonde rolled over and glanced over your shoulder at the phone. her jaw was slack and she had a horrified look on her face. phoebe came and sat next to you on the bed as the three of you saw the leaked photos.
“this is…” julien trialed off and tilted her head.
“kinda funny…” you said monotonously before looking over at your lover and bursting out laughing. phoebe joined you in the giggles as julien looked at you guys like you grew three heads.
“guys! it’s not funny!” julien tried to reason, but she herself was starting to crack up.
“it’s funny. like, really funny,” you let out through your laughter. it sucked that someone had invaded your privacy, but the two of you were making out in the middle of a bar, so really it was your fault.
“it’s julien’s fault for practically fucking you in public,” phoebe shrugged.
“i was not!” julien exclaimed dramatically and hit phoebe with a pillow. the blonde fake gasped and hit her back. you were stuck in the middle of their childish fighting, trying to get out of the way of the flying objects.
“can you guys shut the fuck up! some of us would like to sleep!” lucy suddenly yelled from her bed down the hall.
“sorry, luce!” you yelled back.
“alright, get the fuck out, bridgers,” julien said and pointed a finger at the blonde.
“fine, baker,” she sassily responded before taking her phone and walking out of the door.
you and julien looked at each other as she shut the door, soft smiles on your faces. you hugged julien and gave her a kiss on the forehead, she cuddled into your chest.
“do you think we should tell people we’ve been together for two years?” julien asked jokingly as she looked up at you. it was surprising that you guys managed to keep your relationship a secret for so long.
“do you think we should tell people we’re engaged?” you joked back as you two fell into laughter again.
the rest of the morning was spent scrolling on social media to see people’s reactions. most were surprised and overjoyed, and some said they knew all along. which was obviously a sham because the two of you were ‘just friends’ to the public until now.
the tiktok edits made you blush and people’s shocked tweets made the two of you smile. after a while, you two decided to post an instagram story to your profile. the picture was the two of your hands laced together. julien’s unique tattoos made it obvious it was her, but the real surprise came from the diamond ring proudly placed on your ring finger. let’s just say twitter had another field day after that.
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© bitethehnd
100 notes · View notes
pauking5 · 23 days
Text
my heart calls your name
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x reader
Genre: modern life mutual pining, friends to lovers, there's spice, smut, fluff, Zoro is a normal being with feelings and reader has personality
Word count: 20.1k+ (new recount)
Part 1
A/N: This is the sequel to New Year, New Me :) Firstly, I would suggest reading Part 1 before this one. Secondly, I started working on this as soon as I finished the first part and it has been a wip for 3 months. It was supposed to be a Valentine's gift but my writing went into a slump. But, I pushed through and wrote it. It went through so much editing, simply because I wanted to get Zoro as right as possible. He's everything to me so I wanted to give you an almost perfect piece of him.
Lastly, prepare for a long rollercoaster of everything. Literally everything.
Now playing: Did It Again - Shakira, we can't be friends - ariana grande, Sometimes - MUNA, Eres Mia - Romeo Santos, Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith, All Night - Beyonce, La La Lost You - NIKI, pretty boy - M2M
(because I couldn't pick just one song :') )
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Early morning of January 1st
Heels and green-haired man on your arm, you walked around looking for a place to eat at. The sand between your toes felt warm, welcoming the first glimmering rays of sun, the sea just as excited to wash away the old and bring new tides afloat. Though early, the air buzzed with the atmosphere of the previous night, faint music still playing from the houses nearby.
You passed by multiple cafes and diners but they all closed early in the morning to go on holiday. Every knock on the door was met with an apologetic smile, sending you out to venture further down the beach in hopes of at least finding a vendor that was still selling food.
Just when you thought all hope was lost, you spotted a restaurant that was still open. Today's menu was plastered out on a board outside with the schedule that said they're still serving for a bit. Just enough to grab a bite.
Picking out a table overlooking the azure sea, you went to pull out a chair when Zoro stopped you to do it for you. Shaking your head with a smile at his gentlemanly mannerisms, you sat down as he pushed it closer to the table before sitting down on the opposite side.
You scoured the menu, stomach twisting in hunger at all the food combinations. Salmon on a bed of baked wedges, mussels boiled in white wine, even your usual chicken tenders - this place had everything. It was hard to pick just one thing, but you had to make up your mind before your insides started digesting themselves.
Zoro didn't have it any easier than you. He perched the menu in one hand while the other sat on his chin as he contemplated what looked awfully like the drinks page. From the way he bit his lip in thinking and the way his sleeves were messily made up to his elbow, he himself looked appetizing enough for you.
"Something tells me you're not that hungry," he flashed you a knowing smirk under the pretense that he was looking at beverages.
"I am," you stated, sheepishly diverting your eyes back to your own menu.
"Then why are you browsing me instead of today's special?"
At that you closed your menu and sat back, folding your arms over your chest. So, audacity is indeed a manly thing.
"You are scrumptious, I'll give you that," you admitted, narrowing your eyes at him.
"Only that?" he wiggled his eyebrows from behind his menu and you couldn't help but break into a giggle at his playful behaviour.
Is this the same man I drank a whole bottle of champagne with last night? I'm pretty sure he slept less than I did but he seems more energetic than anyone could ever be this early. Interesting.
"We'll see," you said, pulling your lips into a thin line to prevent a grin that would give away most of your thoughts about him that were, let's say, more than scrumptious could entail.
The waiter came over and took your order with a little flirting around you. Though sweet in his remarks, you had to admit he had nothing on the man sitting in front of you. But, you engaged in it simply because you wanted to gauge an innocent reaction. And you did.
Seeing Zoro's hand tighten on the tissue box like it was one of his mortal enemies, you smiled internally. So, he's territorial too. Poor paper crunched under the strength of his fist, knuckles white from making sure no corner escaped its crumpling demise. Once the waiter was gone with your orders, he let go and leaned back in his seat looking out at the sea.
Your eyes landed on him accidentally, being met with a different side of him. One so different from the man you were used to seeing so rough and isolated in his corner at the club. Because right now, he looked so at peace, like this was his natural habitat - close to the sea dancing in the glimmer of the sun with the golden sands in the background.
The soft morning breeze caressed through his green locks, moving them in waves mirroring the calm ones out on the shore. His golden earrings jingled around each other like they were singing their own tune cradled in the arms of the wind. His shirt was now fully dry from your late night splashing game, a few more buttons let loose giving you a peak of his chest. Palm curled around his chin, there was not a thought harbored behind those deep brown eyes.
A heavenly dream walking planet Earth.
The small twinkle reflecting in the corner of his eye made you look out to the water too, curious as to what was so fascinating out there. Though this time, it was his turn to sneak a peek at you while you weren't looking.
His jacket was still snugly wrapped around you, long sleeves neatly rolled up to the cusp of your forearms. Your hair was thrown in a messy bun with a few loose curls falling over your collar bones. Though tired circles rimmed your eyes from staying up with him the night before, talking about everything and nothing at all, your lips were pulled into a soft smile. As if you had the most restful sleep. In his arms of all places.
And that made something bloom in his chest. Something so unknown yet so familiar, almost like the anticipation of what could be if he let his walls down. Only god knew that he was ready to let them all fall down if this was the beginning of something good. Something that he's been waiting for a long time.
It wasn't long until your food arrived. After a long debate, you settled on a creamy shrimp pasta because who doesn't like pasta? You could eat pasta at any time of the day and your stomach would thank you. Although, Zoro's fried chicken wings looked so much more inviting for some reason. Maybe it was the way his eyes closed in delight at the taste on barely his first bite or how he gobbled on them with all the sauce streaming down his lips like they were the very essence of immortality. But those wings looked divine.
He saw you ogling his plate as you mindlessly poked a shrimp around and was about to ask if you wanted one when you just reached out and stole one. You dipped it quickly in the sauce and stuffed the whole thing in your mouth, sighing in the same delightful manner he did. Those were some amazing chicken wings.
"I was just about to offer you one."
"Food tastes so much better when you steal it away," you said, licking your fingers off the leftover sauce. They were just your regular chicken wings but something about them being placed neatly on his plate made them taste so much better than they would have if you ordered them yourself.
You turned back to your pasta and forked a shrimp. Before it could reach your mouth, a firm hand wrapped around your wrist and your fork was redirected to Zoro's lips instead. He bit the shrimp off of it, imitating the sound of delight you previously let out after stealing his chicken wing.
"Hey! That was the shrimp I kept for last."
"That's too bad," he said with his mouth full. "It looked too good to be left for last."
"Then I will have this one," you stole another chicken wing. "And this one and that one and-"
"Then these little shrimps are mine!" he took your whole plate of pasta away leaving you with the stolen wings hanging in the air.
That's how you ended up sitting next to each other to share your dishes together. You kept poking at his as he did with yours, thing that became a custom for you in the coming month.
Breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between, they were all consumed together in each other's presence.
Among a few other things.
Grocery runs whenever your fridge was empty, since he liked crashing at your place more often than you could count.
Movie nights spent debating all the romcoms you could find where he would give you a piece of his mind on how much of a douchebag the main lead was and yelling at the tv 'stop being an idiot and go get the girl' on the usual. The neighbors ended up at your door sometimes, asking you to have mercy on their ears and keep it down.
Whenever romantic scenes came on screen, your fingers would always find each other on top of your couch, tangling together just slightly. But he would never admit that he was a romantic at heart, even when his hazy eyes, soft hands and raising heartbeat gave that away. Even when your own beat wildly, inviting him in.
You even went to the gym together a few times, though that endeavor ended as quickly as it started.
"Come on, push it. Bend your knee more. One more time!"
"I'm really trying to, but this is heavy as fuck!" you pushed the leg press feeling the weight thrash your ham strings apart.
"Your body will thank you tomorrow."
"Not if I die today," you gritted out.
"Tell you what. You do three more and you can flip me off all you want."
"I can do that without breaking my knees. What's in it for you?"
"You grant me a wish when I ask for it."
"What kind of wish?" you perked an eyebrow up in suspicion.
"You'll find out when the time comes."
Determined to get your rights of the bet fair and square, you pushed with all your might and completed one. With some struggle and curses, you managed one more push before you felt your knees give in, accepting defeat. That was probably your last leg press forever since you deemed it the demon's machine.
Your legs dropped like dead weight on the floor, heaving breaths as if you ran a full marathon. Disappointment hit you that you lost while the man beside you broke into the biggest grin you've ever seen on his face. It felt almost magnetic to see him like that, a nudge pulling at your own lips that you tried to hide. What loser is happy when his opponent wins?
"You owe me now."
If he was a girl he would've squealed. He was literally beaming with joy.
"Spare me the pride bullshit and give me water."
He handed you his own bottle as he crouched down next to you, patting the sweat on the side of your face with a towel making sure to swipe dry even your baby hairs that were sticking up on all sides.
When you told him you wanted to try working out with him, though you weren't big on physical exercise, he was over the moon. Studying you as you laid on the bench, drenched in sweat and with your cheeks filled with water, you were a sight to see. He knew you wouldn't believe him if he told you, but you were glowing brighter than the bright sun outside.
"I'm proud of you,"
You turned to look at him. He wore his gear but did not make a move from beside you the whole time you were at the gym. He trained you on his usual routine, toned down to your own pace, but it turned out to be way harder than he made it look.
Even so, he was there coaching you through it all the way. When you felt like you couldn't do more, he helped you put a little bit more into it with little encouragements like these.
"You're gonna have to carry me home," you breathed out, stretching your aching limbs. "You know that, right?"
"I know," he accepted his demise. "That will be my exercise."
"Are you saying I'm as heavy as the dumbbells you're lifting?"
"You said it not me."
"You little shit."
You were the biggest homebody that's ever homebodied but somehow he managed to do the impossible and get you out of the house. But as romantic as the outings seemed sometimes, he acted like it was just two good friends hanging out.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And that bugged you. Because this wasn't friendly behaviour.
Friends don't take you out on a walk at 2 am when you can't find sleep, twirling you around to let loose in the dead of night, with a lone streetlight lighting your way. Friends don't hold your hand as jazz music plays in some edgy café you wanted to try, playing with your fingers that always end up caged between their longer, bulkier ones as you talk over steaming coffee.
Friends don't look at you like that.
Like you could be more, mean more, feel more.
Maybe you were being selfish, but the more time you spent with him the harder it became to part ways. Even if you saw each other the next day, it just wasn't enough for you. You wanted him to stay a little more. Hold your hand a little more.
As slow January turned into warm February, your feelings evolved and you craved to have him around in more than just one way.
Slowly but surely and a little against your will, you found yourself falling for the green-haired guy you kissed on new year's.
And boy, you fell hard.
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Present Day
It's Valentine's Day. Oh, how you dreaded this one too. Maybe even more than New Year's.
It was the over-exaggerated displays of affection from strangers on the street, plastering kisses on each other's swollen lips like they would die without getting into a heated make-out session every five minutes. Or the way the florists had heart-shaped balloons tied to bouquets mixed in pinks, whites and reds in every single window. Or the fact that most chocolate was on the best sale price you could get it just because it was a special occasion.
All of it was just a ploy to say love exists and that the world will stop at nothing to capitalize the living hell out of it.
But that was just part of the reason you carried an anti-romantic persona around today. This time you had a reason. There was a love interest on your horizon and you were annoyed that he was too lost drifting in his own world to notice how enamored you were with him.
It was crazy how quickly you fell for him. You promised yourself that fast love wouldn't be the norm anymore. That you would take your time to keep it steady, consistent and cautious. Until he crash landed into your life ripping the safety net that you've threaded for so long at the seams so skillfully, little by little, until you were free-falling.
You needed him. As simple as that. The flirting, the sweet-talking, the teasing. It was all just Cupid's stash of poison arrows aimed and shot deeply into your heart every time you saw him. To make you fall in deeper into an unfamiliar ocean where you couldn't see the top of the water.
You needed him. Before you would go and make a fool of yourself and ruin the great bond you already had for some feelings. Before he would sew his existence onto your soul, your conscience, your very being completely and it would become too much to bear.
You needed him. To see how loving him could feel like.
The digital clock on your bedside table read 2:30 pm. You sat in bed most of the day, whizzing through tv channels faster and faster with every romance movie playing, every news channel talking about this wretched day and how lovers planned to spend it, every love song playing on the radio.
Romance was everywhere and you couldn't do anything to escape it.
Sick of the world and the pure existence of love, you shut the tv off throwing the remote to the other end of the bed and watched the seconds on the clock trickle away, wishing for this day to finally end.
You flipped on your back, letting out a long sigh as the empty ceiling gave way to thoughts of him again. Sighing, you closed your eyes trying to think of something else. But all roads led back to him.
You kind of expected him to make some plans with you even if it was something small like going to get coffee and walk around, though you knew he wasn't one to do things like that.
It wasn't even a minute that he crossed your mind and your phone screen lit up with his name. Cursing telepathy thinking and the universe for loving to bask in your misery, you picked it up finding a surprisingly nervous Zoro on the other line.
"What's up-"
"You, me, tonight. Pick you up at 5?" he rambled quickly and out of breath.
"What?" you asked, trying to make sense of his words.
"I want to take you out tonight," he repeated, a bit more composed than the first time.
"That sounded a little better," you smiled, turning around on your belly.
"Can I take you out tonight?" he asked again, voice way softer and determined than the usual playfulness you grew accustomed to.
What happened to overly cocky Zoro?
"I don't know," you drew out, playing with the hem of the duvet to smoothen the material out, pointer finger spelling the outline of his name absentmindedly on top of it. "Can you?"
You heard him sigh exasperatedly on the other side as you took your sweet time replying. A little payback for waiting so long would hurt no one.
"Jesus, woman. I really want to take you out someplace nice tonight so get dressed as comfortable as you'd like and answer the door at 5. That sound better?"
"It sounded great. I'll be waiting."
"Okay." You could hear his smile through the phone. "See you at 5."
"See you at 5."
The call ended and you stared blankly at the ceiling again, hugging the phone to your chest. His words started seeping into your brain and the realization that he finally asked you out on what was possibly an official date made you grab a pillow to scream into.
"OH MY GOD I'M GOING ON A DATE," you yelled. "Okay, play it cool. Play it cool," you took deep breaths to calm down before something else threw you into panic. "What the fuck am I gonna wear?"
You ran to your closet, throwing it open. Racking through it in a haste since you didn't have the luxury of time, you threw whatever you could find that looked somewhat put together on the bed. Clothes came flying on and off your body as you did a whole catwalk show in front of the mirror. Huffing out in desperation at the mess around your room, you came to the conclusion that none of the outfits looked fit for the occasion.
You needed something to make his eyes pop out of his sockets. Something that would make him see what he's missing and to take that extra step to you. Something...
Tapping your cheek in thinking, you spun around to your closet with a gasp. You ran back to it and sorted out through more hangers, digging all the way into the back until you finally found it. A dress you bought specifically in case you ever got a date that was worth putting in the effort for.
The heart stealer, you called it.
A flowy deep-red satin dress falling just below your knees. It had a sweetheart neckline and straps to hold your jewels better than a bra ever could, the bodice hugging your middle perfectly. Elegant, sexy and comfy, all in one. Plus, the ends twirled around so nicely every time you spun around, imitating a petticoat effect, and the length complimented your height.
She's the one, you smiled.
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The time on your phone read 4:57 pm, three minutes before your agreed pick-up time. You've been struggling to put your earrings on for a while now and were growing slightly nervous, thing that wasn't really helping as your hands shook with a burst of impatience. Putting the earrings down before you accidentally pierced your ear, you let out a breath and looked in the mirror. Which made it all worse.
Your eyes jumped around to analyze the way your hair was down and curled unevenly, if you squinted, to how your eyeliner on the right looked slightly more winged than the one on the left. Even the dress straps sat on your shoulders a little too uncomfortably. Suddenly, your confidence faltered and you questioned everything about your outfit.
Is the dress too comfortable?
I'm underdressed, aren't I?
Where is he even taking me?
I look like a walking cherry. Why do I have so much red on me-
A soft knock echoed through your apartment. Your date was here. Taking a deep breath for reassurance and fixing yourself in the wall mirror one more time, you let it be and moved to open the door.
At the door, you were met with the man that plagued your every waking thought. He wore a loose shirt that looked vintage with a few buttons left open and casual dark navy blue tailored pants, falling loosely from his waist. They gave the impression he was taller than he actually was. The way he dressed without as much as batting an eye, you would raid his wardrobe any day.
He leaned forwards to place a courting kiss on your cheek, the closeness engulfing you in his musky vanilla scent you grew so fond of. You could scent him in a crowd of people like a wolf looking for his lost mate. His lips lingered enough to have blood rush to your cheek, feeling it singe as soon as he pulled away the slightest. It surprisingly made you feel calm, forgetting what you were even stressing about in the first place.
Shaking yourself out of the daze, you stepped aside and invited him inside. Something in his hands completely stole your eyes away from him before he even got the chance to offer it to you.
"ARE THOSE MILKA HEARTS?!" you shrieked as he meekly handed you the chocolates. Your heart raced at the gesture, cradling the box closer.
"I have never seen anyone be so loyal to just one brand of chocolate. It's literally all you eat."
"Because they are amazing and they're not too sweet or too expensive. They have so many flavors, even biscuits, ice cream, hot chocolate. Anything you could ever dream of that could be made out of chocolate, they have it. They're just right and perfect," you smiled as you spun around with the box held closely to your chest like it was your most prized possession, the ends of your dress slightly swirling around you.
"Oh, I know," he chuckled at your obsession with the chocolates. "You literally lick the hot chocolate mug clean after you drink it."
"Can't blame me for having a sweet tooth. Thank you for these." You placed them on the counter, deciding against opening the box just yet.
"Do I get something in return for delivering them to you?"
You saw his plan from a mile away - he was chasing a kiss, this time coming from your own initiative. Before you thought it through, your lips were on their way to connect with his cheek in a short but sweet peck.
"How does this do?"
Before you let go, he tensed and you felt it, grinning mischievously on the inside. If he thought you would shy away, especially tonight, he had another thing coming. Two can play this tango.
"Your sweetness is rubbing off on me."
He's saying that as if you didn't catch the slight twitch of his lips and the faintest tint of pink on the tip of his ears before he turned back to being his serious self.
"Is that such a bad thing now?" you countered.
"To be assessed," he piped up, leaning against the counter as he watched you pace around the apartment to finish getting ready.
"Tease."
"You love it."
"I actually hate it."
"You're such a bad liar."
"Maybe, maybe not" you giggled to yourself.
Truth be told, you enjoyed his teasing a lot even if it was overwhelming sometimes. On most days, it made you forget your worries and he managed to pull a smile so genuine out of you that you didn't even know you had.
"You, uh... look nice by the way," he rubbed the back of his neck, taking in your attire from top to bottom properly this time.
Nice wasn't even the word he wanted to use. Beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, those sounded more like what he had in mind. The more he looked at you in that red dress, the more he had the urge to close the distance between you, press you against the mirror you paced in front of and smudge that cherry tint off your lips with his own, all the while his hands tangled in your curls.
That... that felt like more than what nice could ever encompass.
"Thank you," you said, the surprise present in your voice cracking him out of his thoughts. "So, what's the itinerary for tonight?"
"It's a secret."
"Is it now?"
"I want you to have a nice time and not overthink it too much. So, you'll just have to wait and see."
"Okay, mister Kinder Surprise. I'll just follow your lead on this one."
Normally, he would come up with an idea and you would plan out the itinerary down to the smallest detail. You weren't sure what he had in mind for today, but at least your outfits matched in comfy and classy levels.
Going back to the mirror, you took another look at yourself and realized he was right. You did look nice. You were just overthinking it. Funny how he already knows what sets you off from enjoying yourself.
Grabbing the earrings again, you tried putting one hoop in only to have it slide to the other side. The closing was just too narrow for your small ears and it annoyed you greatly. You were ready to just leave without them when Zoro stepped in the mirror frame next to you. He held his palm out to you looking at the earrings and you obliged with a sigh.
Placing your hair behind your ear, he wiggled the golden hoop around your ear lobe as you watched through the mirror. The proximity sent your heart thundering. You willed it to stop and take to a regular rhythm before he took note and teased you even more.
Looking for something else to focus on, you found his reflection in the mirror, holding the earring with utmost care and attention. Your eyes flew to his and the tug at his lower lip, the concentration on his face making you blush. He was determined to get those earrings on your ears no matter what.
"My ears are just too small for girly shit," you said, looking down to avoid his intense gaze.
"They're not. You're just a really impatient being when it comes to doing things properly for yourself," he said, successfully clipping the earring in. "There. See?" he tilted his head to look at you with that twinkling glint in his eye. "Pretty."
I could kiss your lips right now. And your eyes and your nose and your lips again. I don't think I could stop.
"Dork," you pushed him away, conscious that you were running behind on time. "Come on, I can't go out with only one earring in."
"Give me a second, Speedy Gonzales."
He put the other one in for you as well and rolled them around so they were both facing the same way.
"Look at you," he checked you out from head to your unheeled toes. "You look like you came out of a shop window."
"Oh, yeah? Which shop window?"
"The supermarket."
"I can change into my pajamas sooooo fast and you can just go out by yourself," you patted his chest grinning wickedly. "How does that sound?"
"Okay, okay. I'm just messing with you," he handed you your bag and held out his arm to you as a peace offering. You rolled your eyes at him and put your heels on using the sturdiness of his arm for balance and fixed yourself up one more time. "Ready to go?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
He walked you out front to his car, opening the door for you as he held his arm to his chest like a butler while you did a little curtsy before you got in. A little running joke between you since you always ended up being the passenger princess. His passenger princess.
Everything about his car was so Zoro. He drove a dark green jeep, convertible when needed but currently patched up since the rainy weather of early spring was more frequent now. A raspberry Charmander air freshener dangled from the rearview mirror, where you put it on your last grocery run. He constantly argued with you over the fact that its too cute for his car.
"My car is a military tank. Not the Kids' Express," he would say.
"If anything, it's giving the Fun Express now."
But you knew he silently loved it. He had a habit of poking it with his finger each time he got in the car so it would spin around, spreading the fresh smell of berries around.
He got in the car placing the key in ignition and poked it. You smiled turning to look out the window. Kid.
As he drove, the scenery changed from the chaotic city jungle of cars evading rush hour to the more peaceful part of the coastline. The sun was just starting to set, bright orange and yellow painting the sky in lively hues. Some pop song played on the radio making the whole scene look even more tropical.
Zoro rolled the windows down, letting the air flow through and put the song a little louder. You caught up on this habit of his pretty early on - if he heard a song he liked he would make sure you knew it too. Even when you were sitting in heavy traffic and everybody looked at you weirdly. If he knew the song, he might even mumble a few lines with a grin. That made your little crush on him even stronger.
Hope that you will wait for me You'll see that you're the only one for me ~
The lyrics blared over the speakers, emotional yet comforting about falling in love. He leaned back in his seat and snuck a few glances at you. Your hair was blowing in the wind, falling on the back of your seat. Arm laid flat on top of the window frame tapping along to the beat, you looked at the view of the seaside with a smile on your lips. Your other hand sat on your knee, a little too lonely for his liking.
All I really want is to hold you tight Treat you right, be with you day and night Baby all I need is time ~
Adjusting a hand on the wheel, his other one stretched to get a hold of yours, intertwining them together to the beat of the song. Your heart skipped a beat at the sudden contact turning warm atop your thigh. Looking down at your entwined hands, you noticed how his thumb covered yours in guarding, a routine you grew familiar with every time they met in the same space. His eyes were trained on the road but the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips was solely directed at you.
You will be the death of me, Roronoa Zoro.
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Parking the car turned difficult considering everyone was out and about tonight. You barely found a spot somewhere next to the beach. Once parked, Zoro got off and came to your side extending a hand to help you down, heels landing safely on the sidewalk.
You were getting a little impatient and you hoped your nerves wouldn't get the best out of you when the air was still so clear between you. But the questions itched on the back of your tongue until you couldn't hold them back anymore.
"So, what's the plan? How much longer are you gonna keep me in the dark?"
He turned to you with a mysterious grin, debating on whether he should tell you or not.
Someone seems to be enjoying themselves at the expense of my sanity.
"The plan for tonight is just fun."
Well that explains everything I needed to know.
"The amusement park up ahead kind of gave that part away," you pointed out to the Ferris wheel bathed in strobe lights, standing tall ahead in the middle of dozens of games and food stands.
Walking side by side, you followed the crowds of couples into the mayhem still suspicious of what the plan actually entailed. Your gaze wandered down to the ground where you found another thing that calmed you. Unknowingly, your steps matched each other's in a balanced rhythm as you followed his lead. Your lips pursed to hide another small smile.
"That's not the only thing I have planned out for tonight," he informed you, checking his watch. "First, let's go loosen up a little."
Your first stop on tonight's itinerary was the club where you first met. It's been a few months since you both laid eyes on the other, circling the dance floor for nights on end to make your mutual interest known.
Months since your little crush born out of seeking real love took off and made space for feelings. Feelings that nowadays chased you to the brink of madness. You could only hope a trip down memory lane would settle them and give you confirmation that your heart isn't tangled in yet another unrequited love story.
It was Latino beats night. The extended terrace was cleared for an outdoor dance floor, stretching all the way to the end of the beach touching the overlapping waves. Fairy lights hung above from tree to tree, warming up the atmosphere in a golden glow. The drinks at the bar had mini red umbrellas to match the theme.
A bartender came to serve you as soon as you sat down at the bar, pointing you to all the Valentine's recommendations. The cheesy names on the cocktails made a shiver run down your spine in repulse so you turned to the normal range instead since you already knew that one inside out.
"What would you like to order?"
Some sweet liquid courage would do me well tonight.
"A piña colada for me," you ordered.
"A mocktail of that for me," asked Zoro, almost as quickly as your own order rolled off your lips.
Mocktail? That sounds unlike Zoro.
Lifting a curious eyebrow at his request, your eyes narrowed on him for a quick mood scan. You barely saw it but it was definitely there. Tension. He was on edge, rapping his fingers on the wooden bar restlessly, foot tapping to the tempo of the current song playing. Impatient sounds more like it.
"Not drinking today?"
"I will. Just not yet," he smirked, as if he had more opportunities to drink lined up later. Well, frankly, you didn't know what followed later, so you asked for more glasses of alcohol.
The song changed to a slow, sensual bachata as the crowd took to the dance floor. Some pairs looked experienced, busting moves in perfect sync with the strings like this was their regular night out to serve some class. They must be fun at parties.
Others could barely get their feet coordinated, unable to decide who would be the one to lead. The changing rhythm, slow at first then rising faster, had them spinning out of control, gripping onto each other for dear life as they laughed it off and tried again together.
Your relationship with Zoro was kind of like that - uncoordinated in your dance to reach each other's heart with normal steps. Every time one got way too close to the other you took detours, going back to square one. But you kept trying. Together.
Zoro saw you looking at the couples with a longing he's seen before, during your first nights at the club. He wasn't an idiot. He knew that longing himself though he didn't know how to express it. But a tight-lipped curl of your lips at the ground had him pulling on your hand in an instant, eyes motioning to the dance floor. Confused at first, you slowly got a rough idea of what he was suggesting and shook your head.
"I'm not drunk enough to dance yet," you lied, trying to get him off your case. You were too sober to trust your heart that close around him just yet.
"Isn't that the beauty of it?"
The tension washing off of him just moments ago wore off into mischief and playfulness. There he was. Your Zoro.
"Are you sure that was a mocktail?" you quipped, suspicious at his sudden change in mood.
"Yes, it was a mocktail." The look he gave you, full of intensity and certainty was enough to tell you he was dead serious. "I just really want to dance with you."
"Okay, fine."
His hand grasped yours as you hopped off the bar stool, pulling you deeper into the moving crowd. Once he found a spot, he tugged you to him in a twirl. Your back landed against his chest, his deep, steady breaths falling right at the tip of your ear. Swaying from side to side, his palms wandered down to your own, lacing your fingers together, squeezing lightly. His touch turned your insides sticky with something akin to desire. His familiar scent overpowered your senses, musky vanilla turning tropic from that mocktail he had, lingering to the depths of your soul. His presence behind you, assertive, dominating and reassuring at the same time, lit up your whole body with fiery tingles.
He lifted your arms up, getting impossibly closer to you as the pads of his fingers reached up to yours, dancing down to your shoulders in a flow of their own where they fell with the rise of the chorus, briskly spinning you to face him. He placed your hands on his shoulders as you stepped back and forth, bouncing up and down to the music, eyes solely trained on you and no one else, nothing else.
In the synergy of the moment, he finally saw you.
It took him a while to understand but you were his rhythm. He couldn't lose you after he finally found it - the frequency of your heart beating to guide his own. If he lost track of you now, he would lose himself again. Among all the other hearts beating in hundreds of other tempos next to yours, he only wanted to move with yours.
You swayed right a little too hard, leg flying next to his hip. His arm shot out to catch it as the on on the small of your back pulled you close, breaths mingling in a flutter harmonious to the one in your stomach, multiplying it tenfold.
Upon releasing your leg, his hand trailed over the thin material of your dress, from your thigh all the way to your waist, where it got a better grip. One that wouldn't let you sway that hard again. Goosebumps burned on the path he carved into your skin and you found yourself closing your eyes on a shaky exhale.
You were shuddering in his hold and he barely did anything but hold you. When you opened them, he was still eye to eye with you, unmoving, patient, waiting for you.
He drowned out everyone else. The chatter, the music, the alcohol pumping through your veins. You couldn't take your eyes off him even if you tried and frankly, you didn't want to.
No words needed to be said as you let your bodies do the talking. The smaller the space grew between you, the simpler things seemed. It was clear as day your heart kept calling for him in a million ways and you denied it enough.
You wanted to have his eyes on you at all times. To have his lips all to yourself. To get the confirmation that he felt exactly what you felt. That he wanted all these things you wanted too.
He spun you out, reeling you back in against his chest. He looked down at you. You looked up at him.
They were close - those damned lips of his. Pink and soft laying on pink and even softer. Just a breath away. Until he broke your gaze.
Whatever bubble you were in popped and all too suddenly, the reality hit you again. They weren't yours to kiss. They were no ones. Forbidden.
The music filtered in your ears way too loud. People bumped into you from all sides. It was too much in too little of a moment to drown in your insecurities again, when his warm touch asked for your attention and his eyes met yours again.
"Wanna get out of here?" he rasped in your ear.
"You read my mind."
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The sky announced the coming of night, faint purple clouds flying above the blue. You headed to your next destination, the amusement park. Looking at all the attractions, you had your first pick on the bumpy cars. They were childish, but they were fun enough to pull you out of your misery. At least for a while.
Hopping into the rink, you were barely strapped into your bumper when he rammed into your back at full speed, rattling your seat hard. He really is a child. But you were a bigger child. You didn't hold back either, chasing and cornering him, only to crash straight into the front of his bumpy car, cackling like a maniac.
At one point he disappeared into the crowd of cars as the lights grew dimmer. Keeping your guard up for a sneak attack, you rounded the sidelines cautiously, trying to avoid being caught in the middle of other people's warfare. Just when you stopped to turn and search the rink again, he marched up to hit you from the side only for you to dodge it like a pro. His car rammed into the edge of the rink, jaw dropped in shock as you bellowed with laughter at him.
His driving pride got shaken a little from your bumpy car skills, but you were smiling again. That's all that mattered to him.
Once your time was up, you were pulled to another ride, this time of Zoro's pick. Knowing him, it would be something too adventurous and risky to ride. You realized where he was taking you way too late - the highest roller coaster in the area. Instantly, you shook his hand off, backtracking behind him. That thing looked like what nightmares are made of.
"Hell nah, I am not getting on that."
Thinking you had a choice was a mistake since he pulled a wildcard on you. A wildcard you wished you never agreed to in the first place if you knew it would come back to bite you in the ass.
"Remember that bet we had at the gym that you lost?" Motherfucker. "I think it's time you make that wish come true."
And to think he gave you the impression it would be an innocent wish back then. All men do is lie.
"That's not fair," you argued, trying to think of a way to convince him to use his wish on something else. Something that didn't involve your stomach switching places with your other organs. Coming empty handed, you slumped your shoulders like a child being denied their favourite toy and got in the line with him.
Your leg bounced up anxiously with each pair admitted for a ride in front of you. The screams of the people on the rollercoaster screeched in your ears. You took a gulp of air to calm your nerves just as Zoro's lips brushed to your ear out of nowhere, almost giving you a heart attack.
"Nothing's going to happen to you. I'll be there to hold your hand."
Is he taking the piss? Hold my hand? How about you hold your balls secure before I kick them to the fucking sky-
Your thoughts were interrupted when something clicked fixed around you. The straps to the ride seat. You squirmed around uncomfortably to find a better position that felt safer, but being in that seat itself was not safe in any way. The straps were safe and secure but not safe enough.
"Zoro, I'm getting off."
To your disappointment, the megaphone called out that the next cart was going up and the ride started moving. Despite having multiple piña coladas at the club to calm your nerves, you still felt the panic grip you a little and grabbed a tight hold of the security holds keeping you in place, shutting your eyes and praying that this torture would end sooner.
"Hey, hey, hey." His voice called out to you softer than you've ever heard it before, willing you to focus on him. "Look at me."
"No, thank you," you chuckled uneasily. "If I open my eyes I will see my impending doom," you continued, feeling your heart thrumming in your chest as the ascent began quicker than you expected it to.
"Then give me your hand."
"I want to smack you over the head with it." Tremors took over your hands slightly, aware of how high you were going. "Why did I agree to this?"
"Because you like keeping to your word and it's something I admire about you."
He does? Oh, that's sweet- Wait I'm still mad at him.
"Please don't give me the compliment bullshit right now," you groaned through deep breaths.
"It's true though," he said, keeping his calm composure.
You cracked one eye open at him to see him looking only at you, anchored to your eyes like you were his view of the safe harbor in the tempest, the eye of the storm far away from reaching you.
Suddenly, everything was fine. All was good. It was just you and him on the same boat going in the same direction. Nothing could rock your boat.
Until you felt the ride stop and the urge to look around grew and despite all efforts, you gave into it. You were standing on the highest point, overlooking the whole park. You stopped breathing just looking around at the point ahead on the horizon where the sky met the sea, surprised to see the moon and the twinkling stars peak through the cover of clouds. The view would've been spectacular if it wasn't a few seconds till the train would drop.
"No no no, don't look-" he tried to warn you before you did the opposite.
"WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE!" you screeched.
"-down."
"If we don't die now, I will kill you myself when we're back on the ground for choosing to make such a stupid wish. I swear to GOD-" you were cut off as the train fell down into the drop.
Against your wishes, you grabbed onto his hand and held on for dear life, screaming as loud as your lungs could let you. You let out everything you've been holding inside for the past month in one strong yell. Zoro let out a few surprising yelps too, holding tighter onto your hand. The whole thing was over and done with before you knew it and you found yourself actually enjoying it. Not one hundred percent but a good amount of you did.
All that work to curl your hair only to get a blow out when you got back to the ground. It stuck up all sides, curls dismantled from the sheer force of the drop but still standing. Your hands patted it down with a pout, making Zoro take the matter into his own hands, brushing through your hair to fix it. His hands felt so soothing on your scalp, taming your earlier rage at being dragged to that death trap.
"You acted all cool only to yelp like a school girl during the drop," you giggled, his yelps still fresh in your mind.
"No, I didn't," he argued.
"I think the people that sat behind us would beg to disagree. At least own up to the fact that you were a teeny tiny bit scared."
"I don't fear anything."
"Oh yeah? Look behind you."
"What could possibly be so scary behind me- WHAT THE FUCK!" he yelled as he came face to face with a person dressed as a clown, carrying around balloons. He almost punched them on impulse.
"I don't fear anything my ass," you looked at him as he put down his fist and apologized. Once he was certain they left, he straightened his posture and cleared his throat.
"I was just startled," he said, trying to assure you that the statement he made was true. But you got used to seeing through his bullshit.
"Sure you were. Wanna try the haunted house over there then?" you pointed to the shack where a few people just ran out from, some full on sobbing. A scream came from inside, his eyes going wide and that was all you needed to know. Roronoa Zoro did have fears.
"Absolutely not."
"You sure? Nothing's gonna happen to you. I can hold your hand," you teased him like he teased you before the rollercoaster ride.
"Did you say you want popcorn? I'm gonna go get us some popcorn," he laughed, looking for an excuse.
"Okay. Meet you by the benches?"
"Sure."
Walking around, you stumbled upon a long queue of couples lined up to go on the Ferris wheel clogging most of the circulation around the park. If you were being honest, the rollercoaster was much more fun than waiting for hours to see an overpriced five minutes coast view could ever be. Besides, you could drive up the road and see that for free too.
You walked around some more when one of the stands stopped you in your tracks - throwing darts. It wasn't the darts game itself that piqued your interest, but the fluffy beige bear smiling brightly, hanging above the targets. His brown eyes matched those of your green-haired man, warm chocolate infused with honey, too sweet not to stop and stare.
For some reason you found it really lonely sitting by itself up there. All the smaller prizes were won and replaced on the daily, but by the looks of it he's been there for a while, waiting for someone. No one seemed sharp enough to play the game to the end and take him home.
You wanted to take him home with you.
If only you had the darts talent running in your veins. The price for just a set of three darts was way too much and it took seven perfect shots in the bullseye of the targets to win the bear. Perks of having an amusement park next to one of the most popular beaches on the coast meant complicated games that no normal human could aspire to win.
Sparing it one last look that made your heart ache, you turned and went to sit on a bench, waiting for your date that just so happened to see you stop by the darts booth. More precisely, he saw that pout on your face as you looked at the bear hung up high above the targets when it clicked. You wanted that bear.
Zoro knew you wouldn't ask him to get it for you. You didn't like asking for things and he knew that you might not even accept it if he offered it. But the way your shoulders slumped as you walked away told him how much you wanted it.
Darts wasn't his best sport, but he was good with his aim and had a patience that could kneel most at his feet. So, he marched to the booth, placing the popcorn tubs to the side and started tracing his targets to see just what he was dealing with.
"Feeling lucky tonight?" asked the manager of the booth, a sly smile on his face at finding another victim.
Little shit. If only he knew Zoro had the power to send his little business into bankruptcy right at his fingertips. A grin of his own graced his features making the man's smile quiver at the seams.
"Oh, I'm feeling more than lucky."
He rolled up his sleeves showing he meant business and placed a wad of cash on the dirty table, picking up his first set of darts. He was dead set on getting you that bear no matter how much money he had to blow on throwing tiny arrows around.
Anything to not see that pout on your face ever again.
Shuffling your heels over the dust and rocks on the ground, you drew random patterns to busy yourself. A lot of things were weighing on your mind. You were questioning why you went out in the first place. To give this a chance, your brain told you.
To feel something, said your heart. Well, with Zoro, you felt the whole damn universe in one sitting.
There was no telling how this night would end anyways. But you were slowly starting to think Zoro ditched you there since it's been a while he left to look for popcorn. You sighed again, feeling your world tilt, when a pair of shoes stopped in front of you. You knew those shoes.
"I thought you left to get popcorn not to shake hands with the mayor-," you lifted your head up only to stop mid-sentence. Staring at him like he grew a third eye, you took in the way he balanced two tubs of popcorn under his arm and a big plushie in the other.
The fluffy bear.
"I did. They were out so I went to find another stand. And this is for you," he offered you the bear with a smile that made his dimple pop out.
That small indentation in his cheek that showed up when he puffed them on the inside, usually at times when he did something he was proud of. A pit you could hide in whenever you wanted to without him knowing.
"Buddy looked a little lonely up there," he added, tilting his head back to the booth behind him.
Looking into those plastic brown eyes, you took the bear and hugged it close to you. It was even fluffier than you thought a plushie could be. You snuggled into it noticing that it lightly caught his scent, besides the sugary theme park smell.
You teared up a little. Not out of sadness or anything, but because you were touched by the gesture. Because he noticed, which was a rare thing to come by nowadays. Zoro cared and he showed you time and time again, never once falling short to notice. To make you feel seen.
Sensing a change, he placed the popcorn down on the bench you were sitting on just moments ago, grabbing a gentle hold of your arms.
"Hey," he spoke softly, trying to reassure whatever storm pried onto you out of nowhere. His palms stroked your forearms up and down, earlier glee in his voice morphing into worry. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," you shook your head looking away. It was stupid to have a crying session right now of all times.
"You look like you're about to cry. Did I do something wrong?"
"No, no! Gods, no. You didn't. You're amazing," you smiled. In an instant, your arms reached out to wrap around his waist hugging him as tight as you hugged the fluffy bear.
"Thank you, Zoro," you nuzzled your head into his chest in deep appreciation for more than the bear, hands holding tight onto the back of his shirt.
Your sudden display of affection made his ears grow pink. He silently hoped you couldn't hear the way his heart was beating from how your head was pressed to it. He wasn't sure how to respond at first but hesitantly, his arms wrapped around you too, squeezing you closer for a moment. His chin sat on top of your head as he let out a deep sigh at the comfort it brought him. If only he could hold you like this all the time.
There weren't enough words in the world to express your gratitude to him. For how well he treated you. For everything he did to make you feel happy. You just wanted to do the same for him. At least even for a little bit if this wasn't going to last.
"You're welcome," he smiled softly at you as you pulled apart from the hug. "Now, what are we naming this little guy?"
"Well, he definitely isn't little," you barked a laugh holding the bear up next to your hip. Now that you were seeing him closer, he was half your size. "I'll name him Lovey and I will be his Dovey."
"Does that mean I have competition?" his arms crossed on his chest, playing jealous. "He does seem like a worthy opponent."
"I didn't realise you were a runner-up, tough guy," you patted his chest to calm his coyness down a notch.
"Did I not make it clear enough?"
I think you and me have very different definitions of clear.
"I don't know," you teased. "Did you?"
"Guess I have to go for Plan B," he said, checking his watch again.
He checked that watch of his hundreds of times tonight. Was he in a rush? Is his prince charming cover going to dissipate like Cinderella at midnight or something?
"What's Plan B?" you asked confused, hoping he would let some information slip.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" he smirked tauntingly.
This man is an ore of surprises.
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You've been waiting for Zoro in front of the park for a little over half an hour. He left to look for his car a while ago and there was no sign of him yet.
Huh, funny how I keep waiting for him. Both physically and emotionally. When does it end?
The sky turned darker and grey clouds rolled over. You felt uneasiness creep up on you, especially since he mentioned a Plan B. If the club and the amusement park were Plan A, what did Plan B look like in his book?
Five more minutes passed and Zoro returned, surprisingly by walking instead of driving, car keys swinging around in his hand.
"Zoro, where's the car?"
"So, uh, bad news. I lost the car," he smiled apologetically, pressing his hands together.
"What do you mean you lost the car? It's a huge jeep. How hard can it be to find a huge... jeep," you motioned around only to stop as you realized most of the cars around looked exactly like his. "Oh."
"Yeah, charm of living on the coast. But good news is that we are in walking distance from my place which was final destination. Though that surprise is kinda ruined now."
"I don't know what exactly you have planned at your place though," you stated, fishing for details.
"You have a point. Well, I can just come and look for it tomorrow."
He says that as if it's a daily occurrence for him to lose a jeep to the hands of sense. Though that made you think. Just how many times did he lose his car around here? But you'd rather not ask. So you asked something else.
"Won't you get a ticket?"
"Most parking around here is free."
"That's fine then," you shrugged, getting up with Lovey under your arm. "What about Plan B?"
Come on, dude. Give me a clue. Just one hint.
"It's on the way," was all he said as he extended his arm to you.
Okay, then no clue.
"Shall we?"
"We shall."
Of all the places you expected to make a pit stop at, Home Depot was the last thing on your list. Zoro had to pick up a bulb for his kitchen light that has been in his shopping notes for the past two months. Two. months. This is exactly why you make the lists on your grocery runs. He always forgets something.
In one hand you held your new fluffy companion close, while Zoro held onto your free one while you padded through the departments to reach the light section. Like any self-respecting humans, you stopped by the furniture section to look at a few sofas and test their softness together. They were so comfortable to sit on but you already had one in your apartment and from what Zoro let on he had one too many. Now, you wanted to reach final destination sooner.
A bit more waddling around floorings and hardware and you finally reached it - the beauty that was the light section. Bulbs of all kinds for all purposes, orientally decorated lamps and simple to more lavish strings of lights hung around each rack, one calling out more than the other.
The section extended into an extra part that seemed to have been arranged more recently. It called to you so you left Zoro looking for his bulb as you went to explore it more.
Following the multicolor trail bouncing off the racks, you came to a makeshift panel widening into the middle of the department. It was built to look like an arch of some sort. Like the kind you would see in extravagant wedding settings.
Fairy lights and crystal chandeliers of all shapes dripped down to paint the grey floors in a myriad of colours. You ventured under it, looking at all the ambient and decorative designs on display. A few lamps were so beautiful you seriously considered redecorating. Although, the warm golden light of a chandelier in the middle of the ensemble drew you in, its intricate framework sending rays of light reflecting from all lamps everywhere.
Zoro found the bulb he needed and turned around to find you gone from his side. He had to put a tracker on you at this point.
Following his instinct, he took just a few steps down the lights wing and found you right away. His breath hitched. There you were, revelling in the warmth of the light of a crystal chandelier. Its main frame made out of goldenrod supported dozens of glass flowers cascading from each side to create a bigger rozette above. The other lights reflected into the glass, shining a warm gold tone all over you, romanticising your features.
You looked like you stepped out of heaven. A fallen angel. His fallen angel.
You were curiously tracing the details of a crystal flower when he stepped closer to you, musky vanilla invading your senses. Turning to him you ended up nose to nose once again tonight, foreheads almost touching in that confined space. He was so close yet so far again. What was he waiting for?
Kiss me, you wanted to scream.
Kiss my lips dry.
Kiss me like I'm yours Zoro.
You were ready to beg. To have him close the distance faster and end this yearning.
He leaned in, breath ghosting your lips almost painfully.
In your daze, too focused on him finally showing a response, you backed up into a lamp that nearly knocked out everything else behind you. You turned around just in time to catch it, steadying it back to its place, saving dozens of installations from being crushed to bits and pieces. When you turned back around, his eyes closed in denial, letting out an exasperated breath.
And he pulled away. Just like that. He initiated the moment and he ended it too.
Now what the fuck.
"Did you get the bulb?" you exhaled, still in shock that the moment was gone as quick as it came.
"I have," he inhaled, straightening his posture, cocky smirk flying back to his lips.
Like he didn't just have me begging for a fucking kiss in the Home Depot lights section.
"Do you need anything else?"
"Nope," he got a hold of your hand pulling it between you, thumb softly guarding yours. "I have everything I need right here."
You're such an anomaly, Roronoa Zoro.
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All you could think about was his place. Which was unexplored land to you. Your visit there wasn't too early of a feat in your relationship considering how much he loved your place. You just pondered on what was waiting for you there.
An open invitation to become more? A private tour of his home? A one night only limited edition Zoro? The possibilities with this man were endless.
A small stinging sensation brought your attention to your leg. Your ankles. Not having worn heels in a while, you didn't think it would be this bad if you left them uncovered and just slid into the heels for the night. Until it was that bad and trying to walk in a way that didn't give your discomfort away was hard. Every step down the concrete sidewalk had your the shoe brush like a bristle comb against your ankle.
You stopped to lean your weight on a fence, lifting your leg to be met with the new blood crescents forming on the ridges of your heels. Ouch. Rubbing your ankles to soothe the ache proved to be only temporary relief. You tried putting it back in the shoe only to scrunch your nose at the new wave of pain.
You've been walking for quite a while already. Who knew how much longer you had until you reached his place?
Before you could even register what was happening, Zoro dropped to his knees in front of you with a grunt. You blinked, bewildered at his behaviour. His wide back stretched, laid out for you. You didn't notice until now that his shirt was slightly see-through, the glory of his lean, strong shoulders fully in your view. No view of the coastline could compare to the one you had in front of you. Kneeling at your feet of all things.
You just stared for a while still confused but digging it, until his voice echoed like a wake up call in your ears.
"Get on."
"I can walk."
He turned his head around, pining you with an are you serious right now look. He was trying to be a gentleman but your hugely independent persona wasn't having any of that. Well, that and you were still mad about the home depot thing.
The kiss that never happened. The pulling away after railing you up all night, with a desperate sigh on his part, as if he felt the same. If he felt the same he would've said or done something to cement it. To make you stop feeling like a damn fool.
"I know you can," he added, voice turning so mellifluous to sweeten the mood that your knees almost turned to jelly. "I just don't want those red demons to scar you more than they already have."
He was sweet-talking you again.
He turned back around and made grabby hands over his shoulder for you to hurry up. You bit your lip annoyed that he was right. The heels would only scar your ankles more.
"Fine," you sighed and got on, closing an arm around his neck as the other wrapped the bear's arms around your own.
Certain that you got comfortable, Zoro got a hold of the back of your thighs to lift you up. The spot he touched behind your thigh tickled and you tried your hardest to keep stable and not move around too much. You did kick forwards in instinct once, earning a disgruntled huff from your humble transport.
"Is there a place you aren't ticklish in?"
"I'm sorry, I just can't help it."
You took a strand of your hair and tickled his cheek on purpose as he tried to blow it away.
"I will drop both of you if you don't stop that," he warned.
You leaned closer to the side of his head, the rim of your lips brushing just the tip of his ear, voice playing sweet whispering in the same way he did to you all night.
"Stop what?"
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, jaw clenched, tensing under your hold before slowly reconfiguring his pace. You hit a chord. You grinned in victory that it affected him when your smile fell as you caught sight of the corner of his lip twisting upwards. He welcomed your teasing only to reply with a remark of his own.
"Are you testing me, angel?"
Angel. That was new. So new that your heart fluttered.
You kept your composure unsure of how to respond. This was one of those times his teasing got too deep inside of you and tickled a chord you didn't even know was there. So you just deflected from it, securing your hold on him better.
"Drop me and I will end your entire bloodline."
A deep rumble of a chuckle that he tried to keep inside but failed, boomed under you. The heaviness between you dissipated little by little, unserious, and you giggled along with him.
"You're precious cargo. But I just might," he teased again, readjusting his hold on you.
Yet, the truth was he wouldn't. In fact, he would do anything in his power for you to be comfortable. Even if that meant carrying you and a midsized bear all the way to his place sprawled on his back like a sack of potatoes, with your red feet killers swinging in his hand as your warm giggles filled the night.
Though it was a far reach, the possibility of nights like these becoming a regular thing made his heart soar. Maybe there was a chance for more.
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Entering the lush part of the coastline, palm-hidden domains morphed into villas upon villas of the rich and the elite in all kinds of styles running along the lap of a hill. Halfway up the steep hill, your humble transport climbed a set of stairs and stopped in front of a villa.
Your mouth hung open. There's no way this was his.
Your eyebrows reached the heavens when he fished around his pocket for the keys and jingled them in the hole, pushing the door open. This was his.
Once inside, he bent down for you to get off, placing your heels down, putting his own shoes next to yours. You hopped off taking in the place. Each way your head turned you were instantly hit with his scent.
"You're telling me your house was this close to the club and we spent new year's sleeping on the beach?" you asked, twirling around the place.
Walking in further, you came to a dip in the ground going into a spacious living room. Two medium couches and an armchair in a deep forest green laid around facing each other. He does have a couch too many.
"Well, I didn't want to hit third base that early," he said, walking into the kitchen area. "You did take me for a psychopath just for taking you to the beach."
Taken aback at his words, you turned around trying to recall when that happened.
"Pffft, I did not."
Stopping his ascent on a small ladder to change the broken bulb, he placed his hands on his hips and looked back at you then proceeded to utter the exact words you said to him on your first night together.
"Is this the part where you kill me or something?"
He even had the tone right. You laughed remembering his first impression. Oh, how wrong you were. He turned out to be way more than that.
"Fair enough."
Fixing fluffy Lovey on a couch, you walked around some more. The huge space was used so well, beige and green motives spreading all around, combining in neutrals with the dark grey oak wooden floors. Beyond the modern aesthetic and messily discarded trinkets it was so cozy. Compared to your apartment, this place was an oasis.
"You have a really nice house."
"Thank you. It's not much really."
Not much? He's not being real.
He fiddled some more with the lightbulb, lean forearms working to click it into place. Extending his hand to you, he motioned you to the flip switch to test if it works. You obliged and turned it on. The bulb glowed, turning the beige kitchen golden, just like the chandelier you saw.
Moving into the cooking area you realised even his kitchen was something out of the paradise of architectural design.
You leaned your elbows on the marble top, head resting on top of your knuckles, waiting for him to finish. Once he was satisfied with his work, he stored the ladder away and came to sit next to you, mirroring your position. Feeling his prying eyes on you, you turned to find him a few inches away, hip brushing yours, looking at you with a smile.
"Hi," you said softly, smiling back at him.
"Hi," he replied, the crescents around his eyes deepening.
You could sit there looking at each other until time would end. If it wasn't for your stomachs singing in unison demanding some attention.
"I thought that instead of going to spend loads of money on a restaurant, we could cook something ourselves," he suggested.
"You went grocery shopping without me?"
"Yep," he popped the p at the end looking really proud of himself.
You had to give him credit for planning the whole day out ahead of time. It's the most anyone has ever done for you.
"So, what are we cooking?"
"Well," he threw a towel over his shoulder, "your wish is my command tonight."
You loved his determination. Zoro could cook. Just enough to save his life if need be but nothing too grandiose - if that included omelets and fried rice with some creativity to reinvent the dish for every day of the week. Thing that required talent.
So, you thought of one simple thing no one could screw up. Something that would be easy, fun and quick to make that would fill you both. You settled on the pinnacle of good food.
"Then pizza it is."
"Had a feeling you'd say that."
He walked to the fridge and pulled out some of your favorite toppings and a jar of the tomato sauce you swore by. You gasped, holding a hand over your heart in fake excitement.
"You know me so well."
"I try my best," he said, making a bow.
You got to making the dough, mixing the ingredients while he connected his phone to a speaker. Jazzy, romantic music played and you craned your neck at him to see that playful smirk. He wasn't acting like the Zoro you knew.
"Dean Martin? Seriously?"
"What's wrong with it? It's-"
"Romantic."
You never saw anyone cut the music so fast. It gave you whiplash.
"Then what about this?"
The track changed to ABBA's Dancing Queen. You threw your head back with a laugh, shaking it at his questioning music choices.
"Friday night and the lights are low ~," he sang off key, sending you into another fit of giggles. He continued singing as laughter rolled out of you to the point you were holding your stomach in pain.
Cruising around some more, he finally let a pop playlist run in the background as you worked on the dough and he got busy with chopping stuff up. You snuck a few glances at him and stilled - that golden light bounced on his tan complexion, making his focused posture appear so snug and cozy, almost husband material. The amused twinkle was back in his brown orbs, resembling irresistible pralines.
He looked like home.
Feeling your cheeks heat up, you turned back to the dough, sprinkling flour on the table top and rolling it out to spread it as wide as you could eat it. Too focused on it, you didn't notice a floured finger coming to paint your face until the white powder was already smeared across your cheeks.
"You're such a child," you let out before you painted his nose with flour too.
"I think that makes two of us."
He cupped the side of your face, brushing his thumb over the flour covered bits. Though that only smudged the flour more, your heart beat accelerated to an uneven rate. He was too close again. Too close to let go again.
"You made me beg for this date so much," he spoke lowly, brushing your cheek in circles. "I don't do begging."
"Can't blame a girl for wanting to torment the guy she's interested in."
Before he could reply, your stomach grumbled again, annoyed that there was still no food present in it. His hand fell from your cheek, though his touch still lingered. Warm, singed, stamped on your cheek.
You finished decorating the pizza with everything you both liked and once it was in the oven, you crouched down to see it cook. Zoro followed on your side, knee touching yours.
"You know, it's not gonna cook faster if you stare at it," he mused.
"I know," you turned to look at him. The gleam from the oven light coupled with the kitchen light above played tricks on you because you could've sworn that hard, playful gaze of his turned softer. "I'm just surprised you can cook something other than basic military canned food."
"Oh, shut up," he laughed, playfully shoving his shoulder into yours.
You made small talk until the oven dinged that your pizza was ready. Letting Zoro deal with it, you ventured more into his living room like a cat looking for her next napping spot.
You walked all the way to the glass windows acting like an outer wall. Finding a handle, you pulled on it expecting it to be just for décor only to see that the glass slid open to give you access to a private beach front. Your jaw would crack if this man shocked you more tonight.
He has a private beach. Who the hell just has a private beach? And he said it's not much. Dude, I can move here if you don't like it.
Pushing the door open all the way, you took a seat on an extended wooden ledge overlooking the stretch of water you started liking so much. The sky was still cloudy, covering up the moon, yet some stars still sparkled through the white glare. A few birds played around in the trees, chirping as brightly as they would in the early morning. Waves lapped calmly at the shore, smaller than the naked eye could see, crashing into each other before they could make a sound on the sand.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath of the salty air, letting it sink deep into your lungs. Calm enveloped you like a warm blanket comfortingly there for you. It was more than an oasis. It was how Zoro made you feel. Though most times it was accompanied by chaos, you would always find yourself waiting for this serene peace.
"I see you've found your favorite spot already."
Zoro was quickly at your side with the pizza sliced, a bottle of wine under his arm and some glasses. He sat down next to you working on the bottle before anything else.
"Favorite doesn't even begin to describe it."
Hungry from all the dancing and walking, you dove into the pizza first. The dough melted on your tongue, nodding to yourself as the good tomato sauce hit your taste buds, among with all the other toppings.
"Is it edible enough?"
"It turned out way better than I expected."
"Hand me one," he opened his mouth, waiting for you to feed him a slice.
You picked up a smaller one. Careful not to smudge any of the toppings on his shirt, you held it out for him to take a bite. He stopped fiddling with the cork to take in the taste.
"You're right, this is heavenly. I didn't know my oven could cook like this."
You choked, slapping his arm.
"That's what ovens are for, dummy."
Red wine, darker than your dress, danced in the glasses as you clinked them together. Taking a sip, the sweetness hit you before it lulled into bitter cherries, spilling on your lips like the promise of love on this chilly February night.
"Look out," he pointed out towards the sea.
You looked everywhere. All you could see was a few boats out on the water, the sky clearing some more and the sea. You even squinted, thinking you weren't looking properly.
"I don't see anything."
He checked his watch to see he was too early. For someone who was always late in making decisions, he still had time. Huh, how the tables have turned.
He counted the leftover seconds in his head, leaning back to look at you the way he did on new year's on the beach. Your back was in his full view, covered by your dress and your hair that grew a bit longer. He still has that impulse to trace your spine with the pads of his fingers.
"Look now."
Right as your eyes fixed on the boats, fireworks lit up the night sky from far out on the water. Pink and red spun around in different shaped hearts.
Seems like the surprises keep on coming.
Too engrossed in the light show decorating the sky in cute and heartwarming messages, you didn't notice Zoro slipped from beside you until you heard slow music playing from the speakers. He sat behind you, hand extended your way.
"Can I have this dance?"
"Another one?"
"You can't blame me for wanting another dance with you when you look this beautiful tonight."
"Only tonight?" you questioned, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
"All the time," he corrected himself as he pulled you closer.
You stepped left and right under the warmth of the lights and the fireworks, holding the man you've always wanted in your life. Suddenly, you were taken back to that night where you let it all go to have fun with a stranger. A stranger that became something more so fast.
Who knew you'd end up mending each other's solitude and fill up the cracking pieces in your hearts. You were both aware that you meant more to each other than you let on, but the words just didn't seem to find their way out to communicate that. That was your only fatal flaw.
The need to know where you stand was more powerful than anything right now.
Somehow, everything was perfect.
Maybe too perfect.
"This is so fucking cheesy," you quipped.
"What's cheesy?"
"Everything. This night, the food, the wine, the fireworks... you."
You've kept the uneasiness at bay all night but something made it explode everywhere in your body and it definitely wasn't the wine. Or the way he was looking at you with those deep brown eyes like he could tell what you were feeling. If that were true he wouldn't waste any more time than you already did.
"What is this really about?" he asked, hands falling from your waist to rub comforting circles on the inside of your wrists.
If it wasn't crystal clear until now, he knew what made you tick. And something pushed a nerve by the looks of it and the way you were avoiding his eyes.
You wanted the ground to swallow you up for letting your mouth run wild without any basis besides that nervousness. But you might as well just bite the bullet and tell him everything and be honest with each other at least for once. You avoided talking about it way too long.
"It all feels a little too perfect to be real."
Thinking that voicing your thoughts out would give you some semblance of balance was a wrong assumption. As soon as those words left your mouth, he let go of your arms, taking a step back. Once again, you let your inhibitions take over and reel you away from a great thing.
You got lucky by meeting him. But you still couldn't help but think his heart wasn't yours for the taking. Because he wouldn't let you take it. That you couldn't be more than friends with him because more would destroy the already amazing thing you had going on.
By the way his face fell, brown orbs more preoccupied with the wooden floors, you realized you probably fucked up even more.
Frankly, he did all this tonight for you. He was never the type to go out of his way for people, even the ones he had an interest in because he wasn't one to play the feelings game. To chase and court and shower in affection.
But he knew where you were coming from and why.
He didn't make it clear that you've been the sole object of his attention ever since he saw you that first night you came to the club. For him, that was just another night lost to endless glasses of alcohol to numb himself even more from the world.
Until you showed up.
Hair thrown into the same messy bun you always sported, uncomfortably shifting in your clothes as you nursed a different array of alcohol yourself, trying to do exactly the same thing he was doing. Numbing the feelings away. Keeping them at bay. Fighting them with everything you had in opposite corners of the club when you could've embraced them together from that first look that connected you.
The more time he spent with you the more he let those suppressed feelings in and realised that they didn't bring him any pain this time, but solace, comfort, hope.
The hope that he might just have a great thing in front of him worth changing his ways for.
While Zoro was having a revelation, you were having a war with yourself.
There was this monstrous fire harbored inside of you for so long. Zoro woke that fire and there was no telling of the destruction it could cause this time, especially with so many unsaid things lingering in the air. So many unshared feelings. Because he stood still like the sea washing on the beach instead of doing something. Anything.
Please, Zoro, your eyes begged but he wouldn't look at you.
He was danger, screamed your mind. The danger that you got too comfortable. That this was wrong and you put up the 'no vacancy' sign on the doors to your heart way too soon.
Let me in, your heart screamed, blood in your veins trembling in anger.
One rapid thump of your heartbeat drowned in the silence.
Two more passed and he stood still, gaze set on the ground.
On the third one, you made your mind up.
Before tears could well up in your eyes, you turned around with the intention of bolting out through the same door he carried you through not that long ago.
Sensing movement, he caught sight of you shaking your head, that pout he hated back on your lips. He hurt you. Because he was a fucking idiot who couldn't do words.
But he could do actions. He was willing to do even more to prove to you that this was right and it wasn't all just in your head. That he felt it too.
It only took you taking two fast strides in the direction of the door for him to make up his mind too.
"Then let me make it real," he caught your hand and pulled you to him, crashing his lips onto yours for the first time since that night at the club, kissing you like his life depended on your very own lips moulding to his own.
You felt the desperation, the anguish, the need. All of it to have you close and to feel you in more ways than one. Everything you've been feeling for the past month, hope, passion, the beginning of love, spilling from his lips onto yours. He was telling you everything he kept to himself with each desperate tug at your lip and you received every word.
The last time he kissed you was over a month ago, pressured by the new year's kiss tradition. Back then, he tasted like alcohol and his cologne. But now, he tasted like everything you've been waiting for. And you had a hunch he waited just as long for it.
Once you were past the shock of it, you kissed him back even harder, lips finally moving in sync with his. He got a rough hold of your waist and pulled you even closer to deepen the kiss. One of his hands tangled in your curls exactly the way he wanted to since he saw you at your apartment.
He wanted to be selfish. Let that monstrosity of his heart pour out all of those feelings to you. But he reminded himself he had to take it slow with you. So he let go with a small tug at your lower lip, spurring the eagerness inside of your tummy for more.
You pulled apart but remained close, foreheads touching in bliss. Though short, this kiss was sweeter and more meaningful than any chocolate box you could ever get. It was everything you needed to know what his heart held inside and how much more of him you still had to see.
He let you in.
"I wanted to do this for so long," he breathed haggardly, like you stole away all the air in his lungs with just one kiss. A kiss that was so long overdue.
"Why didn't you?" you voiced the question that's been hanging by a thread all night.
"I didn't know how you felt about me."
"You're such an idiot. But you're my idiot."
Shaking your head against his, you pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt and kissed him again, this time with more fervour. You wanted to make sure he understood where your feelings stood, where you wanted this to go and that you let him be in total control of it. Because losing control with Zoro was surrendering to a higher power. One that your heart loved being handled by.
You carved your own feelings into the way you held onto his cheeks and nibbled on his lips in unsated hunger, trying to put the torment, want and devotion you felt for him over the past month and a half into a language that he could understand.
And he understood.
Tapping your thigh, you got the message and jumped up into his strong arms that wrapped around you like a curtain of safety.
Your safety net.
He ripped yours apart to become it.
He held you to him so easily as he navigated through the furniture maze in his living room, taking off into a long corridor, all the while his lips discovered new grounds with yours. He didn't want to waste any more time if it involved you.
Zoro didn't care if this would end up being a fucked up disaster on his part, but he held back enough from showing you how he really feels. It was time he made things right with you.
You.
It was only you.
There didn't need to be anyone else for him.
Just you.
His hold tightened around you as he rounded a corner, not for security but to brand the feel of your being in his hands, to realize that he was finally holding you, feeling you where you were supposed to be all along.
Heavens, how much he longed for this. Your presence wouldn't dare to leave his thoughts just like he never left yours. Oh, he knew of the ardor your eyes held inside and was well aware of what ran around in your head because he let those same movies play in his own around the clock, early day into late night. Maybe he didn't let it be known, not like you did in wistful glances or pink tinted cheeks, but there were signs.
In the way his jaw ticked in disgust at every man who set their eyes on you every time you went out shopping, to the point he was ready to have an MME match if they stared too long. Or how his hand twitched to grab yours whenever you sat too close, the need to lace them together and press you flat against the couch in your apartment overriding his senses. And his mouth. Oh, his mouth. It wanted nothing but to taste every inch of you, everywhere you touched him and riled him up, every time your eyes drifted down to his lips, until there was nothing left to taste.
Hell would freeze over before that happened.
Kicking the door to his room open, he shut it just as swiftly, maneuvering your back to the nearest wall, moonlight the only thing illuminating the room. The cold wall cooled your burning skin, a breathy gasp leaving your throat right into his mouth with a kiss. He let go of your back, hands searching for your palms, pushing them against the wall beside your head. His mouth never left yours, exploring every depth, rise and sigh escaping you.
He hooked you higher up the wall with every kiss, atoning for every missed opportunity over the past month. Your legs tangled harsher around his torso, tugging him even closer as he pressed against you with all his might, feeling all of him and none of him at the same time.
Close just wasn't enough for any of you.
You needed closer. Attached. Intimate.
Soul on soul.
Patience wasn't your virtue at all tonight. You clawed at his hands, needy unlike anyone has ever made you. Except Zoro. Your head was filled with him. You were breathing him in and it still wasn't enough.
In one breath you were unglued from the cold wall and put down on the comfy edge of his bed, separated from his lips and from him. You whined at the loss of feeling him against you, ready to argue that having him kiss you mattered more than whatever had him lose the tempo. Although that need turned into anticipation just as fast once your eyes focused on his kneeling form before you.
Roronoa Zoro, on his knees, for you, eyes darker than the blackness of the night. That vulnerability looked lethal.
Those eyes. You could drown in them for a lifetime if they asked you to.
"Zoro," you sighed, chest rising up and down, expectant of his next move.
Oh, how he loved the sound of his name rolling off your lips. Usually so contained in the form of a sarcastic remark or to warn him to watch it.
Now, it was tuned to demand for his attention. And he wanted to make sure you got all of it.
One of his hands extended to your leg, calloused fingers trailing up the arch, circling mindfully around your wounded heel to hold it up to his lips. He pressed them to the inside of your ankle, slow and steady, eyes fixed on yours as you took in a sharp breath. The intensity of his unwavering gaze alone made heat pool between your legs.
Flutters rose in crescendos inside your belly at each kiss and there was no stopping them from roaming free. Not when he was watching your every response like your body was the eighth wonder of the world.
Your hands fell beside you, feeling the softness of his duvet to ground you as you closed your eyes to relish in the moment. Focusing on how plush his mouth felt on your skin on two different extremities. Wondering how they would feel on the rest of your body.
Unspoken but present in the air, that wish was his command.
His fingers trailed higher, past your calf, under your knee, roughly tugging you closer to the edge. Your dress bunched up your thighs as his fingers continued their perusal to reach the small of your back. Slowing his pace, he traced the dip in your spine all the way between your shoulder blades, your back arching involuntarily. Still on his knees, he moved closer between your legs as those fingers circled on your nape, pulling you down to meet his mouth halfway in another kiss, more fiery than the last.
This one sputtered with flames of passion. So much that you couldn't contain yourself anymore.
Your hands shot out to undo the buttons of his shirt. Frustrated with the top ones you just dug your fingers in the holes and pulled it open, poor buttons flying to the floor with a pang, interrupting your fast breaths. He broke apart from your lips to assess the damage only to find his chest half-exposed to your itching hands.
"That was vintage."
"I'll get you another one but I want it off, now," you muttered in a breath, grabbing his face to devour him. You couldn't get enough of how he tasted and every breath for air asked for another taste.
Hooking one hand around your back, he lifted you up and hauled you to the middle of the bed. His lips connected with the side of your mouth, dragging the bottom lip you liked biting so much between his teeth. He was just as annoyed at your dress, desperately looking for ways to feel more of you as he fisted the ends until they creased.
"I want this off too," he groaned, pulling on the skirt impatiently.
Said and done.
You sat up, letting the straps fall off your shoulders, pulling the material over your head to leave you in your undergarments. He licked his lips taking you in. The ferocity of his stare alone drinking you in like his normal glass of whiskey made tremors dance on your skin.
And he didn't even properly touch you yet. You weren't even sure you would survive his touch. The good thing was, you were about to find out.
"What now, loverboy?"
The nickname came out way more playful than you intended it to. It was enough to provoke him in ways that will damage you for anyone else. Ways that will tie his existence to your very own, unable to ever untie it.
"I'm gonna have you like no one has ever dared to before and no one will," he spoke, so deep that your buds prickled against the air at the gravel in his voice. "By the time I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you didn't test my patience for so long."
That turned you on even more. At the need present in him matching the same level of want flowing in your body.
He kicked the rest of his clothes off. Your eyes stopped at the huge package that laid under his clothes, a Greek god in the flesh and balls. They then lingered from the sculpted thighs you were so envious of, to his defined middle where you lost count of his packs and chest, going up to the arched bow of his collar bones, stopping at the plump lips that rushed to capture your own again. This time, he bit your lower lip for access to explore the rest of your mouth, tongues tangling in a dance of their own on the same rapid rhythm your hearts were beating in.
A hand sneaked under your back to lift you higher, pressing your chest flush to his, feeling all the shapes of his muscles against your own. His lungs breathed with yours. Your hearts came alive.
His lips left your mouth, moving down your jaw, prodding under it, heading to your collar bones in hungry fire. They left a burning trail in their wake, stretching tingles even to the edge of your shoulders where he pressed softer ones.
Kiss, lick and bite was his mantra that he repeated against your skin. He wanted to claim you tonight, more viciously than a wolf in heat would claim his mate.
Trailing down, he laid small and large kisses on your sternum, between your mounds. His palms sat on either side of your waist, rubbing circles to tease you more. Damn his teasing.
Feeling his lips, his hands and his torso pressed to you all at once turned your breathing erratic, saprking electric shocks inside of you. He was everywhere, taking your control away. Your eyes darted closed to find some kind of anchor besides fisting his sheets.
"Eyes on me, angel," he commanded and in a second your eyes snapped back to his.
He stopped just above your navel, waiting for you to catch your breath. That was a luxury. Once he was sure you were following, he continued all the way down to your lower stomach where the band of your panties stuck to you uncomfortably. Your breath hitched when he stopped there, blowing above where you needed him most, only to move down to your inner thighs, nipping on the softer skin with that amused smirk of his gracing the outline of his mouth.
He was trying to push you over the edge on purpose.
Fuck that.
One swift push and he fell backwards on the bed. You climbed on top to take the reigns and gain some control back. Little did you know that having you straddling him like that bid the beast inside of him alive.
You moved butterfly kisses from the crook of his neck, down his toned pecs. His hand latched in your hair, grabbing a tight hold around your curls, destroying them like he wanted to do all night. The pressure on your scalp pulled a moan from you just as you bit into his abdomen heaving a groan from him, his other hand digging into your waist as he raised up to meet your neck. He bit and pulled on it too, turning your insides to mush.
Sitting up with you on your kness, he hooked a finger on each side of your panties and ripped them apart down the middle with that shit-eating grin. You choked on every remnant of sanity as he threw the shreds to the side leaving you naked, fully naked, exactly like he wanted you.
Grabbing onto his shoulders, you moved to his lap, legs parted to cage him into your space. One look of confirmation that this was still what you both wanted had you sink down on him at once.
He was big. Collosal almost. He felt bigger than you thought you could take. Eyes closed, it took you a moment to get your bearings back but once you did, you felt him everywhere. His upper thighs supported the rest of your weight. His hands circled around you, both grabbing and holding you upright. His cherry wine-infused breath fanned the side of your neck.
And his eyes? Waiting for you as you opened yours. One look at them and your hips started rolling on autopilot. Every swing buried him deeper, further, closer to where your being called for him. And he let you have it. Letting you ravish his gear the way you liked it, feeling him stretch you sore.
His mouth went back to his mantra. Kissing the crook of your neck, licking it right in the middle and biting it hard enough to leave a bruise. To mark you as his. His and his only.
You gripped his shoulders, shifting to get a better position as your hips started getting tired. Silently, you cursed yourself for ditching gym with him because you didn't know how much stamina riding him would take out of you.
You were close and from how he gripped your waist to help your rhythm, pulling them faster front and back, he was too. He stopped nibbling on your neck, moving to your lips to swallow your quiet moans. He had to make them louder.
You rolled your hips until you couldn't find the energy to push into him anymore. He took that as his chance to take over again.
He pulled out, turning you around as he spread you on all fours. Your hands landed on the bedpost to support you as he climbed behind you. He laid kisses from your lower back all the way to your left shoulder where his lips brushed your ear just as his tip lightly caressed your opening. His warm breaths foreshadowed sin on your skin, making you wetter by the second.
And he entered you. One, two, three pumps and he got accustomed to your tightness just as you did with his size stretching you out. He bit the side of your neck with every thrust, sending your conscious into oblivion, chasing that high together.
Every moan you withheld from him earned you a deeper thrust. He wanted to hear you in all your glory. Wanted to know how badly you wanted him, not just like this but in every way.
In your lost haze, you ended up on your back closer to release. Entering you roughly, he pounded in you so fast you were seeing stars, head rolling to the side in complete ecstasy. His hand grabbed your jaw, tilting your field of vision back to him.
His free hand grabbed your hand for the millionth time tonight, placing it on the messy sheet beside your head, fingers smoothly sliding through yours as he kissed away all of your sighs. Your other hand climbed from deep down his waist to his upper back, hard rock muscles rippling under your touch like a stone thrown on the surface of a still river, disturbing its peace, turning it turbulent and wild. Waking up every primal urge in him as he groaned in your neck.
He accelerated, twitching inside of you and you came, letting your insides explode into a mess as he continued chasing his own high. He wasn't done with you yet, thumb rushing to rub another climax out of you as he was close to his own. His mouth bit into your breasts, grazing your buds one at a time, pulling on them in a way that added to your pleasure way more than the last one.
You gripped him again, tighter, and in no time you both came furiously, spilling everything you held back out onto that mattress. He pulled out, letting his seed fly onto your stomach.
You tried to catch your breath. It was gone somewhere between ecstasy and what laid beyond euphoria. He left to clean himself up, returning with a token of aftercare for you. He wiped his mess off of you, gentle and attentive to get everything off. Once he was done, he got in next to you, pulling you close.
You both just sat there for a while, reflecting on everything that happened. You still felt him inside of you, on you, above you, behind you. He managed to ruin you.
His voice cleared the quiet, making you focus back on the real world for a bit.
"You okay?"
"I just got fucked to oblivion. I would say fantastic but I can't feel my legs."
He chuckled. He would never fail to love your sarcasm. Even in moments like these.
"Did I go too hard?" he asked, not sarcastically but wanting to know if it was too much. If he went harder than he should have.
Looking at the vines of love bites he left on the entirety of your neck, the smudged makeup that looked almost natural, and your tousled messy hair, hard couldn't encapsulate it better. You would've said "you could've gone harder" but that meant urging him on another round and you were spent for tonight. So, you laid your head in the crook of his neck and closed your eyes, releasing a content breath, a silent confirmation that you were okay.
A single thought passed through your head - this was all kinds of right. Your once in a lifetime right time right place, as cheesy as it sounded. Maybe cheesy was good.
He was in his head thinking everything through in his own way, breaking down the once intense feelings into little flurries of emotion buzzing inside of him. That passion masked itself as denial for way too long. But tonight, you held his face and took that mask off, giving him clarity and he was able to feel something else.
Something close to love, he thought, chuckling to himself.
You cracked one eye open, taken aback at his sudden cheerfulness. One look at his face bathed in the glow of the moon and you saw him beaming.
"What are you so smiley about?"
He just shook his head, smile widening like a Cheshire cat that's been caught up to no good.
"Nothing."
Taking it upon yourself, you got up from his side with slow moves and straddled his waist, getting his attention back on you.
"Tell meeeee," you stretched, poking your fingers through every dent in his abs until he told you.
"What are you gonna do for it?"
Not this again.
Actually, this time, you knew what he wanted. A kiss. So, you just leaned over and caught his lips sweetly, smiling into it. His hand came to cup your face, smiling back. He pulled away, soft praline orbs gazing at you warmly.
"What if I still don't want to tell you?"
"Zoro, stop playing with me," you complained, slapping his chest.
"Okay. Okay," he held his hands up in surrender.
He sat up to lean on the headboard and get a better look at you - his ruined shirt hugged your smaller form, running all the way to your thighs. The marks of his feelings that he still couldn't utter decorated you everywhere. You sat back on his lap, arms crossed on your chest, waiting for him to speak.
"I'm not one to do feelings," he started, eyes darting down in thinking. "But you changed that."
Your eyes stayed focused on him, softening at his words.
You knew that he was a reserved person, keeping to his corner rather than reaching out into other people's. Until he found something worth thrusting his hand out at full speed to get it. Something worth hanging onto with his teeth.
As he connected his eyes with yours, brown blazing fire burning as bright and consuming as yours, it dawned upon you that something was you.
He was trying. For you.
"You were right. I am an idiot," he paused, fiddling with the ends of his shirt beside your calf. "It took me so long to figure it out but now I know."
Your heart started running when his hand held yours and brought it to sit on top of his own, running just as fast in his chest. Though the rate of yours spiraled out of control at the honesty of his incoming confession.
"I think I'm in love with you."
Your head spun, blinking in confusion at him.
"Am I hallucinating or did you just say the L word?"
"Yes. I did just say the L word," he nodded, confirming that he felt the same for you.
Before you could breathe it through, you leaned in for another kiss. He deepened the kiss trying to reach every corner of you. Wanting to both take his time and rushing to taste every part of you.
Breathless. Serene. And everything in between.
"I take it you love me back?" he asked, needing you to say those words back to him.
Your heart did flips at the way the word sounded coming from him. It dripped with honey and warmth.
"A little more than love," you grinned. "You do realise that I won't be able to stop it, right?"
"I don't want you to."
"Great," you clapped your hands together. "Because I will become so annoying."
He howled a laugh, throwing his head back, the sound you loved so much making you laugh too.
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
You leaned down connecting your lips for the millionth time tonight. But you still couldn't get used to them or to the fact that your heart called out his name and his answered back calling out just as loud.
Falling forward into his arms, you sank like a ship happily waiting to meet its end in the depths of the ocean that was him. Because no ocean was deeper and so familiar to swim through than your Zoro.
He kissed the crown of your head, pulling you closer. Happy felt like an impossible destination until he held you to him like this, safe and warm in his embrace. He felt a tinge of it and he wanted more.
"Are you tired-"
Before the question even left his mouth properly, his eyes drifted to the steady rise and fall of your chest, drained body curled into him tightly, head tucked into the crook of his neck, chest pressed to his.
She's drooling again, he chuckled to himself, moving some hair away from your face so you wouldn't inhale it. You sat like a baby coddled in its mother's arms, but your position looked a little uncomfortable.
He pulled your feet from under you to get you in a better posture. Moving his arms around you, he got more cozy, drawing the covers over the both of you and let the night come to an end.
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Birds chirped announcing a new day, with the sea singing the same tune as its waves crashed in a swirl outside. The morning sun peaked through the curtains, its soft rays caressing the top of your head, willing you to wake up.
The first thing you felt was your cheek pressed against something plush. A pillow. The pillows I fell asleep on last night were way better.
You rolled around the bed trying to find some more sleep when the thought of last night sparked your brain like the tip of a vinyl record player, making memories play faster than your sleepy mind could catch up to.
Lips kissing on every part of your skin available to sight, carving themselves on the hidden ones. Hands caressing your body like a holy prayer, thought but never uttered. Eyes making secret promises with yours in the darkened moonlight.
You turned on your back and opened your eyes, letting them adjust to the light in the room. The fluffy duvet fell to your lap as you sat up, stretching your sore limbs with a groan. Everything ached but in a good way.
Pulling the covers away, you folded them neatly on the bed and took in the space in the light of day. The beige and green from downstairs broke off into a two-tone sandy beige and a cotton white on the floor and the walls. It truly felt like home. And smelt like it too. That musky vanilla you liked so much enveloping you, mostly from his shirt.
After a steamy shower that your skin welcomed fully, you stopped in front of the mirror to see just what he drew on you last night. You traced the red marks down your body, feeling the ghost of his lips like he was kissing and biting those places again and again. He didn't need any words after all.
Rummaging through his wardrobe, you stole a t-shirt, fitting like a dress on you, and a pair of pants that barely wanted to stay on your waist. You had to roll them up and double tie the strings for them to sit still.
Taking to the long corridor, you followed the sunlit path and looked for your partner in crime. You found him in the kitchen, handling an egg carton, preparing for what looked like the Zoro Special - omelete with a bunch of side dishes and orange juice - or Champions' Breakfast as he called it.
He had his back turned to you, busy chopping up some tomatoes. You sneaked behind him, trying to be quick and silent on your feet, planning to jump him. You rounded the marble top of the island, grinning that stealth was on your side, only to get caught between his arms. He already sensed you from when you entered the kitchen so your surprise attack was doomed from the start.
Unpredictable like a breeze of the wind, he picked you up, placing you on the island as strong arms planted on each side, caging you in his space. He took one look at you, recognizing his clothes draped loosely on you, messy bun on top of your head and his heart did flips again.
"Fancy seeing you here," you said, shying away from his gaze. It looked hungry and not for any damn food.
"I could say the same," he spoke, raspy voice sending tingles down your spine. He studied you some more, lips perking up in amusement. "Trying to sneak up on me?"
"Maybeeeee," you played with the hem of his shirt. "What are you making?"
"My special-"
His words got caught in his throat as you laid your chin on the crown of his chest and looked up at him with the softest eyes he's ever seen, all his resolve crumbling to the depths of the fucking universe.
It was truly a wonder to him - how you could go from one extreme to the other, being both adorable and sexy at the same time.
"Can I be your special?" you asked, voice sweeter than candy.
"I wouldn't mind that," he smirked, leaning down to capture your lips in a slow morning peck quicker than you would've liked it to be.
As if on cue, your stomach made a noise of complaint that the pizza you made together last night got digested.
"Let's get some food in you," he said, patting it tenderly.
"Do I get to assist on the special?"
"You get to watch the special," he rubbed his hands together and got started.
Pre-heating a pan on the hob, he held a knife in one hand and an egg in the other. Your eyebrow lifted up in curiosity as he held the knife horizontally to put the egg on top of it, balancing it side to side. With a confident grin your way, he flicked the handle and launched the egg in the air swiftly turning the knife sharp-edge upwards, just in time to catch the egg right in the middle, separating its contents from the cracked shell successfully. The egg sizzled in the pan while your mouth sat agape, shook at the skills he was pulling.
"You really are the gift that keeps on giving."
"So I've been told," he said cockily, flicking imaginary dust off his shoulder. You hopped off the island and elbowed him playfully, settling beside him to watch the magic omelet take shape.
Once enough eggs were cooked, he arranged the plates. He cleaned up his working space and leaned in for a kiss you dodged on purpose. That brought an ambush of kisses on your face, from your forehead to your cheeks, your eyes, your nose, your jaw and your lips. Everywhere he wanted to leave his affection on you.
You managed to shimmy out of his grip and bolted out in the living room, through the open glass door on the beach. The wind blew cold, waking you up like coffee, making your heart thunder. He followed right behind you just like the night you met, leaving your footprints in the sand. Though this time he caught up to you way quicker, whisking you up in the air and spinning you until your stomach hurt from laughing.
The sound of your laugh filled his ears in the most beautiful way possible. And something else clicked in his head. He wanted that to be the first thing he heard every morning, every day, until you got sick of him.
He placed your feet back on the sand and brought you closer, waves crashing next to you like the beat of his heart. He had to give it a shot no matter what. So, without letting any other thoughts cloud his decision, he just asked.
"Do you want to move in with me?"
OH, boy.
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Thank you for reading :)
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whenlostinthedarkness · 3 months
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Afterglow: Chapter 4 - After
Lead Singer!Reader x Lead Guitarist!Ellie Williams
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Summary: Confronted with the realization of what you and Ellie have done brings on conversations, unexpected outcomes, and flashbacks from the past.
Warnings: Angst, Infidelity, and super SUPER small amount of sexual content.
WC: 3.9k
A/N: This chapter goes hand in hand with the song 'After' my MUNA. Listen Here. ALSO, I made a playlist for this series that I will be linking below.
✮ Ways that you can help Palestine
✮ taglist: @diddiqueen
✮ Series Masterlist
✮ Playlist
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Ellie POV
I could feel my bones shaking underneath my skin like a bird with a broken wing left to fend for itself in the dead of winter. 
The door was mere moments away, yet every move was agonizing as I relished in the feeling of my own stupidity and carelessness.
I always thought I was a selfish person. If things weren’t to my liking, I wasn’t afraid to change it regardless if that meant someone else was dealt a losing hand. I would often boil this down to me simply knowing what I wanted and not being afraid to set boundaries, which, I suppose in a way that’s what I was doing, but that didn’t dismiss the level of egotistical thinking that also came along with it. 
It’s funny. My selfishness got the better of me years ago when I broke the heart of the girl I was now ushering into the hotel suite where our infidelity took place. That very same selfishness was what drew me back to being entangled with her body last night with very little thought to who I was hurting in those moments..all I cared about was what I wanted.
As I closed the heavy door that spoke a moderate screech as it latched to the door frame, she began to sob. I didn’t know what to do.
I rarely cried because I didn’t know how to deal with my own emotions, and here, in front of me, was someone who I fucked everything up with- who was crying because of something that I initiated and something that I promised was going to be okay. I knew they were empty words, yet I wanted it so badly. I wanted her so badly.
I wanted all of it, I wanted the sex, the lack of clothing, the closeness..but specifically, I wanted it to all be with her. 
She was like an addiction that I couldn’t control when it was within reach which is why the distance we both silently agreed upon was working so well, until it wasn’t. Until it was dangled above my head within reach and I had no other choice than to grab it and devour every inch of her.
My mind exited it’s blur as I came into focus of her and the surroundings. On the very bed where I fucked this person, she was now sat down & desperately pulling manual breath after breath through her pursed lips as she tried to calm the tears that were running out of control.
All I could think to do was stand over her with a palm laid flat on her shoulder. It was the only comfort my mind could muster up enough courage to allow my body to display with another person.
Her hand was dampened slightly from her tears, yet I didn’t mind the way she grasped onto my arm that was connecting the both of us together.
“Please Ellie”, She choked out between sniffles and the clearing of mucus out of her throat. What was she pleading for?
“Please what?”
“Please just make it stop.”
The realization was now pelting me as the guilt and the emotions and the shame were building and building and building until I too felt a single drop of water trickle out from my eyelids. Of course, I was quick to wipe it away.
“I want to- I really wish I could.”
That didn’t seem satisfying to her, and hell, I would’ve rolled my eyes as well if someone who was a large factor in a mess like this was saying the obvious.
Still, her grip on my arm got more severe as her tears started coming back down with force and speed. My inability to handle emotions didn’t make me a monster, I promise. I knew when I needed to set my own discomfort down, even if I only did it for a select few.
She was my select few.
It was like a switch flipped as I sat down next to her with each arm wrapped around her sobbing body as she let her emotions drip down the front of my shirt. 
We rocked back and forth as I gave her the time to let out what she was forced to hold in all throughout the morning.
Envy was a word to describe how I felt as my eyes watched her empty out all of her harbored feelings, yet a single tear from my own eye made me feel like a fucking coward. I was pathetic.
“It’s okay,” I cooed against the side of her head as my hand came to cradle the side of her face against my chest- Something that made me feel safe and I hoped it did the same for her as well.
After several minutes, her eyes became dry and her sobs turned into sniffles.
I allowed my hand to relax against the top of my thigh as she blew her nose into a tissue that was in a box nearby. Her cheeks were as red as a mistletoe - I wanted to kiss it and make it all better.
But that’s foolish, right?
That’s incredibly stupid to think about engaging in that sort of intimacy with the very person who I caused fresh harm to and yet…the selfishness ensued. 
“Thank you”, she spoke with puffy eyes that avoided mine as she clasped her hands in the center of her lap.
I nodded in what felt like slow motion as I observed her like some sort of experiment that was teetering on the edge of explosion. Why didn’t I feel like she did? Why wasn’t I the one sobbing? I’m the one who's hurt not one, but two people who are very close to my heart and yet I couldn't feel what a person who did what I did should be feeling. 
All I could feel was remorse due to the pain I was causing to the beautiful daisy in front of me - I was plucking away the petals that she’d clearly worked hard to grow during our time broken up. 
“Sorry I uh..I lost it i guess.” She ended her sentence with a laugh that was so masked, even a stranger would’ve known she was lying through the pain.
“You’re fine. It’s uh-understandable.”
She nodded reassuringly as she slowly moved her body a centimeter away from mine. She didn’t think I'd notice, but she was all that was on my mind. 
She was pulling away from me physically and mentally.
“Sorry for how I was acting earlier-” She interrupted with a slow hand being waved, which made me pause my words.
“You have every right to act that way Ellie. What we did was..” she trailed off, obviously not wanting to say the sin out loud and I couldn’t blame her for it.
However, one thing I wasn’t going to allow her to do was take the blame.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have come on to you like that and put you in that sort of position.”
She shook her head fervently, “I wanted it to. I wanted it just as much as you did…I could’ve pulled back at any time, but I chose not to. This is something we both did Ellie.”
Now it was time for me to shake my head as both of my hands instinctively went to clutch around her still folded ones. “No..no. I won’t let you take the blame for this! I was stupi-”
“We were both stupid El!” Her voice rang out in contrast to how small and weak she looked.
I found myself chewing on my lip as I tried to think of what to say next. What could I possibly say that could make this thing magically disappear or feel like nothing…even though it meant everything.
“How about we just forget about it, alright?”
This clearly wasn't the solution she was looking for.
“Forget about it huh? Just like that?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” I grimaced as I shook my head. A surge of energy brought me up to my feet as I began to aimlessly pace the floor in an attempt to release everything that I was feeling inside. Except none of it worked. None of the pacing or chewing or mental swearing at myself was working and I began to convince myself that this was going to be my new normal.
“Do you think we should tell..”her voice trailed off as our eyes met. I could see the answer all over her face.
“Kat? You think we should tell Kat?!”
She joined me as she rose to her feet while her body visibly shook. “I don’t know! I don’t know what else to do and she deserves to know!”
Our bodies were parallel as we stood in front of the other.
I knew she was right, yet I didn’t want to say a word to Kat. I didn’t even want to think about her. “That’s my decision if I want to tell her or not.”
She groaned as her hands met her hips that were hugged nicely with a medium wash denim. My eyes couldn’t help but travel and remember the lust that my eyes got to take in last night.
“You’re kidding me right?”
I shrugged my heavy shoulders as my hands rubbed themselves together. “She’s my girlfriend.”
Ouch. The word made her flinch as if she had forgotten or was convincing herself of my life being different than it actually was.
I could tell she was furious as she tried to gather the words she wanted to say. “How could you not say anything to her about this?”
The way her mouth enunciated every harsh word- The way her chest moved as her hands spoke alongside her words- I found myself enamored again, just as I had felt last night.
“Because..” I felt the urge getting the best of me and I didn't want to give in. Instead, I allowed my body to move closer to hers; too close for the occasion between two people who’d engaged in immoral things the night before.
This made her eyes move up to mine as she held our gaze with a slightly gaping mouth. Her lips were taunting me.
I continued moving forward until we were almost touching which made her begin to move backwards until eventually her back was against the wall and my palm was moving past her shoulders to rest against the same wall.
Surely she could feel the warmth of my breath and the smell of the green tea coming off of my tongue. That’s how close we were as we watched the other in silence.
I could tell that she wanted to give in just as much as I did; The real question was who would have the guts to do it first?
She gave me a shock as she quickly moved towards me so our lips ran into each other. Without skipping a beat, I latched onto her mouth as her hand grabbed onto my bicep and mine on her waist.
This kiss was strong, yet so slow. Too slow for someone to consider it to be simple quick lust. 
However, I had already convinced myself that I just wanted a good fuck with someone who was familiar and close and she happened to be closer than ever and so fucking familiar. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, I could tell that there was something else there-some other feeling.
Our kisses turned hot as her mouth followed along with me. My tongue was buried deep down her throat as she shamelessly allowed herself to break the barrier of the hem of my shirt and rest her hand on my bare stomach.
Everything felt familiar and close, just like I had wanted, yet there was something missing and I wasn’t sure what. I figured continuing to practically fuck with our clothes on would suffice for now.
My hands were wandering every inch of the clothes that were set on her body as I pulled the fabric around her waist closer...until there was a knock on the door.
Our lips broke apart with loud breathing and all I could bother to care about was the way her lips were turned up in a smile I would allow to shoot me in the head had it held me at gunpoint. 
I smirked at her while my hands went to smooth down my hair and adjust my clothing that her hands had bunched up before opening the door to find the same person I had seen this morning at this very door.
“Sup D?”
Dina's eyes looked worried and they should’ve been.
“Me and Jesse are about to head out and I wanted to check if you guys wanted to go with us.” She spoke slowly as her eyes searched behind me while she, what I assumed, was trying to decipher what was happening.
“Yeah, yeah sure. I think I'm basically packed.” I spoke so casually, yet instantly my mind began figuring out how I could pack up my belongings that I hadn’t touched as quickly as possible.
“Okay”, Dina nodded, now searching my face for any evidence, but i’d never let her see through me that easily.
We both stood there with my hand silently still holding the door open and Dina continuing to look around the room. That is, until the girl behind me gave Dina the clarification that would put her mind at ease. 
I turned around to find her with a hand on the handle of her suitcase as she wore a warm smile. “I can head down now with you guys. Ellie, can meet us.”
My mouth parted as I nodded and licked my lips. “Sounds good.”
“Great!” she said with a voice so damn cheery, it was whiplash from how she had been an hour or so ago at breakfast when we were both acting as if the other didn’t exist and that what we did didn’t exist as well. 
Dina eyed her suspiciously, then glanced back at me as I moved myself to the side to allow her to exit down the hallway with our fellow bandmate.
“Don’t take forever El,” she said with a smirk that felt like an inside joke that was only between me and her. In some way, it was. 
I shook my head and flashed her a smile as I watched the way her ass moved with every step she made. No doubt she was teasing me by the over-exaggerated movements and I was buying into everything she was selling.
After the both of them disappeared down the hall I let the door shut behind me as I took in the silence for the very first time.
I should’ve felt guilty. I shouldn’t feel like a school girl with a little crush that no one knew about besides me and her, but I did.
I didn’t care that I was cheating on my girlfriend and entwining her in this mess and I certainly didn’t entertain the thought of this ending any time soon. Not as long as she was a willing participant.
. . . . . . . . .
The ride to the record store was nothing short of normal. You and Dina sat in the middle two seats & Ellie and Jesse took the very back ones just as usual.
The conversation between Jesse and Ellie was flowing as the noise of whatever video they were amused by played gently in the background. It was as if everything was right and neither of you had done anything wrong.
Usually car rides were your time to chat with Dina, except this time she was silent with her head resting against the frosted glass and her eyes gently closed. It felt odd.
The wave of paranoia was inevitable, but you tried to assure yourself that it was nothing to worry about. Maybe she was something as simple as tired or not wanting to do this signing. That’s what you told yourself in order for your face not to feel warm and your stomach not to feel a drop of dread.
“Are you ready for this?” You said in an attempt to clear the air and your anxieties, which seemed to work in some way.
Dina opened her eyes, “I guess? Not sure what to really expect honestly.”
“I assume it’ll be chill.”
Dina nodded, her hair getting smothered against the window that still held the weight of her dark hair that was laying in its naturally wavy state.
“We’ll see..do you think they’ll let us shop?”
You giggled, “Maybe if we beg.”
There was that smile that you were needing. That expression that Dina normally wore when something was humorous was much more to your liking than that indecipherable other one that was leaving you a mess.
The conversation between you and Dina began to go on as it normally would. The both of you discussing the latest albums you would want to pick up if you did in fact get some time to browse the store you would be signing at along with other current event topics. 
It felt normal. It felt like you could breathe.
Eventually the SUV came to a halt and you and the rest of your bandmates were piling out of the car and onto the sidewalk that was directly in front of the record store.
A long line greeted you with squeals and smiles as the people in single file wrapped around the brick building. Wide eyes looked at you and the rest of the band with an awe that you never got tired of seeing.
With a small welcoming wave, the band started walking their way to the front door which seemed to intensify the reactions of the crowd.
One person held their phone out to try to get a photo with any of the beloved members, another shouted out Ellie's name and how much they loved her..along with some other obscenities that you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel a tinge of jealousy from.
The group finally made it through the threshold of the front door that was unlocked by an employee that was waiting inside the empty record store.
The space was massive, something resemblant of an old warehouse, which it very well could’ve been considering the square footage and the large ceilings.
You looked around the rows and rows of thin cardboard that was contained in a shelf customized to hold the size of the covered records. The smell was comparable to a bookstore; you only wished you could bottle up the scent and turn it into an immortal candle.
Once the initial fixation of the place wore off, your eyes moved to Ellie. She was standing next to you with the biggest, brightest eyes and the most gleeful smile as she took in the space. It was like a kid in a giant toy store.
. . . . 
4 years ago
“God damn it Ellie”, you let out a deep breath as you set the heavy duty box on the ground a little too harshly for Ellie’s liking.
“Careful,” Ellie winced as she walked over to the box and set her hand on top of it as if she were giving it comfort.
You almost busted out laughing, but decided to hold it in as best as you could. However, Ellie instinctively knew you were masking the urge to chuckle at the amount of love she had for her vinyl records. You were always one to playfully taunt and she loved that about you.
With soft eyes, Ellie looked up to find your massive grin, one that she knew too well.
Her arms went around your waist as she lifted you a couple inches off of the ground and spun you 180 degrees. Both of your eyes held one another as the love you felt for this girl was throbbing red and raw and all the insanely wonderful feelings that came with being young and in love for the very first time. 
“Be nice.”
“I didn’t say anything!”
Ellie rolled her eyes, but still kept a friendly disposition. “I know you’re thinking about it.”
You shrugged your shoulders as your hip bumped the side of Ellie’s body. “You’re just cute is all.”
Ellie gazed at you with the same raw love as her arm wrapped around your body from the side as the both of you stood in silence.
The two of you stood in a bare apartment with nothing but a welcome mat set at the main door. People said that you both were moving too fast, that being together for a year was too short of a time to move in with each other, yet you both decided against everyone's opinions and scrutiny. Because you were in love for the very first time and being in love feels like the sting of a tattoo gun. You anticipate the needle punching ink into your skin, yet when you sit in the chair and the needle is buzzing in your ear you feel a sort of hesitation and fear, but at the end of it all you see the art decorating your skin and somehow the pain of it all was worth it. 
That’s how your love with Ellie felt. Regardless of the arguments and petty mumblings of words that both of you would regret, it was always worth it. 
“How about we christen this place.”
Ellie made her way over to sit in front of her beloved record player that sat in the corner on the wooden floor. She began thumbing through the box of her records, but she couldn’t quite find a record that would be fitting to this occasion-that’s when she got a better idea.
“Hey,” Ellie looked at you over her shoulder, “Come pick one.”
You smiled and set the plate back into the box you had began emptying as you exchanged unpacking for entertaining your girlfriend's little ritual.
“What genre are you thinking?”
“Whatever you feel drawn to. I want you to pick babe,” Ellie said as she plugged the turntable into the nearest outlet, meanwhile you couldn’t help but feel honored, not just to pick a record when you knew Ellie had stern music taste, but also because you were getting the opportunity to live with someone you wanted to spend your life with. 
“How about this one?” You pulled the record, that had become a favorite of yours, out of the box and held it up in front of your chest.
Ellie’s mouth turned up into a bright closed lip smile as she nodded. “It’s perfect.”
Soon the music began to flow through yours and Ellie’s new home as you both busied yourself with unpacking various belongings, not that either of you had very much to begin with. 
It felt like a home and that’s what mattered. It’s a shame neither of you knew what would become of your relationship in such a short time.
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cruel-style · 7 months
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squippy360 · 2 years
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Steve Rogers x Merman!reader
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Cw:(fluff, angst to fluff, merman listener)
Steve huffs and runs his hands through his hair. He paces around his room in the huge beach house they had bought for this mission. (and much needed vacations.) The memory from his last mission kept replaying in his head. He just couldn't seem to sit still as the same memory of his failed mission kept replaying in his head.  
He quickly shoved off his suit and quickly put on some comfy walking clothes. He made his way down the stairs quickly. He grabbed his shoulder bag and packed some snacks into it before storming outside. He walked down their private walkway and down by the sea. He took a deep breath, smelling that deep ocean breeze and trying to calm his racing thoughts. 
He walked a long way from the house to the side of a cliff where some big smooth rocks were. He had a secret cave over here that he would go to when he was overwhelmed. He approached the rocks and hopped over some boulders. He got closer to the cave but stopped when he heard a voice. 
"Tá bean a'msa in Árainn Mhór agua bean rule in inis Bearachain, act no ghrása Máire Mhór, 's í an began is fear ar fad acu~" You sang softly, you shiny (f/c) tail softly splashing the water. 
"Is óró Mháire Mhór, is -a Mháire Mhór, an dtiocfaidh tú? Muna dtiocfaidh tú mar a gheall tú, go mbáitear insan gcladach thú." Steve was absolutely stunned at how beautiful you are. Your long silky (h/c) hair and your soft (s/c) skin. you could sing. He didn't even know who or what you were but he wanted to get closer. "H-Hello…?" He called out.  
He gasped when you were getting ready to jump back into the water. "Wait! Please I-I didn't mean to scare you! Please don't leave yet!" He called out to you. You froze and stared at him. "W-What do you want?" You asked, suspicious of him. 
"I…want someone to talk to…" He said, slowly getting to his knees to show that he won't hurt him. You stayed silent and scooted over so you gave him a bit of space to sit next to you. He slowly made his way next to you. He looked down a bit at your body with adorable eyes. "My name is Steve." Steve said to you, . "My name is M/n." You said calmly. 
"Y-You're…really pretty up close…" Steve said and stared back at the water with a smile. You blushed a bit and looked away. "Thanks…" You whispered. "Are you into boys?" You asked. He froze for a while. "Um…yes." He said, tense. You smiled a bit. "Same here. I'm so glad there are still accepting people." You said and looked back at the pool.
"Do you think you could…finish your song?" Steve asked you. You hummed and nodded. "Is grá mo chroí, no stóirín, is tú nach ndearfadh tada liom…is tú a chuirfeadh na fataí móra ar dtaisc ar liec an teallaigh dho" You were a bit embarrassed while you sang. You've never had an audience before. 
"Is óró Mháire Mhór, is -a Mháire Mhór, an dtiocfaidh tú? Muna dtiocfaidh tú mar a gheall tú, go mbáitear insan gcladach thú..." Steve pulled out a notebook and turned to you. He started sketching and didn't look back up until he noticed you stop singing. "Huh?" He questioned and looked up at you.  You stared at his drawing, a simple drawing of the pool that was in front of both of you. 
"What are you doing?" You asked. He flinched a bit, taking a second to decide if he should hide it or show it. "Uh…it's my drawing…I like to sketch things I like or think about." Steve said shyly. 
You stared at it with amazement. "That is some talent." You mumbled. "I usually collect shiny things and store them in my secret spot. It's something I enjoy." You said, gesturing to the pool in front of both of you. 
"Where do you live?" Steve asked, looking at some of the jewelry at the bottom. "I swim from here to there. I don't like being close to humans because I've seen the way they trash my home." You huffed. 
"Oh…I'm so sorry." Steve said sympathetically.  It's fine. There are some protected places that I like to hang out at." You said with a smile. "So…where do you live?" You asked him, curious about the dry world.
"I am currently living in a house just along the beach. I also live in a tower in New York." He said and flipped the page to a drawing of the tower. You stared at it with amazement. "W-Wow. It must be really big…" You said. He agreed. "Yeah…it definitely is. I'm still not used to this new era…" He said, looking down at the paper. 
"What do you mean?" You asked, tilting your head. Steve let out a small sigh. "I'm…100 years old. I was in the military and they made me into what I am today. I was frozen for 70 years and then I was shoved out into this new era." He said. 
"So you like me then…" M/n whispered. "Hm? What do you mean?" He asked. "Well…being underwater for so long, I lost track of how much time had passed since I've had human contact…" You said. 
"How long ago was it?" Steve asked, gently setting his pencil down. "I don't know. But the humans I was friends with protected me. They said I had a 'bounty' on my head." You said and gestures weirdly to your head. He giggled. 
Hours had passed with you two talking about your hobbies and things you liked. He shared the snacks in his bag with you and braided your hair. He laughed at how you reacted. Soon, it was night and he had to go home. 
"Can we meet again tomorrow?" He asked, all of his stuff packed back into his bag. He looked back over when he hadn't gotten a reply. 
"I can't. If I return back to my home, I can't come back." You said, tears welling in your eyes. His eyes widened a bit. He thought for a moment before gently picking you up bridal style. 
You gasp and your hands immediately wrap around his neck for support. "W-What are you doing? Put me down." You asked, stuttering from the sudden attack. 
"Will you come home with me? I promise I'll take care of you." He said, puppy eyes looking into yours. "B-But what about water? I'll dry up if I'm not in water." You reasoned. "I'll put you in my room. I have an indoor pool you can use. Don't worry." He smiled. 
He quickly walked back to the house. You stared at it in amazement. You've never seen a modern land house before. He quickly took you inside after making sure no one was looking or around the area. He dashed to his room and slammed the door closed. 
He went over to his pool and gently set you in. You twirled in the water, your tail flicking some water up into the air. He giggled and lied on his tummy hear the edge of the pool. His head was supported by his arms as he stared at your beautiful form. 
"I've heard only the richest can afford a house." You said, peeking your head out the water. Steve hummed and flipped his hand back and forth. "Yeah my friend bought this house for us." He said. "But now, almost everyone can buy a house." Steve said with a yawn. 
You smiled and got closer to him, staring up at him with your (e/c) irisis. You splashed a bit of water on him and he jolted. "Hey…" He huffed. "You should take that as a sign to go to bed. You seem tired." You said to him. 
He got up and yawned again, raising his arms to stretch his body. "Your right. "Good night, M/n." He mumbled sleepily to you. "Good night, Steve." You said and pushed yourself away from the edge, swimming back under the water to sleep. 
He quickly got into soft pajamas and hopped into bed. He hugged the blankets close to him and fell asleep. 
(Timeskip to next day)
Steve groaned when he woke up. He usually got up in the early morning when no one else was awake. It was 4:am when he hopped up and went to use the bathroom. After he finished, he took a shower and got into some workout clothes. 
He smiled and stared down at M/n in the pool. His hair had come undone and the rubber band that was holding it was sitting on the edge. His hair blocked his face and made a big cloud of (h/c) hair cover your head. 
Steve giggled a bit and went over to his workout area. He got a tablet that Tony gave him as a gag gift since he knew Steve didn't know how to use it. Luckily, Sam decided to be nice and show him. He put on a '40s songs' playlist and began his workout. 
Around 7 A.M., you woke up and peeked your head out the water to find Steve. You blushed a bit when you saw him put the weights back and look over at you. "Good morning, M/n." He said with a smile. You nodded shyly. "Morning…" You hummed. You weren't really a morning person (i mean really, who is) so you just swam back to the bottom of the pool and stared up at him. 
He took off his shirt and dangled his feet off the edge. You swam up to him and touched his knee. "Your warm." You stated. He hopped into the pool, his hair sticking to his face when the water made contact. You smiled and swam around him. "It looked really fluffy before." You said. He smiled and started taking laps back and forth. 
You thought he was playing a game and joined him, obviously beating him since you were a literal 'fish' but he still tried his best. 
Near 8 o'clock, he stopped and just rested for a bit he sat on the edge when he felt his arms cramp up a bit.  You swam near him, talking about your home land. Just a ship that had crashed and you made it your home. 
"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asked and got up to his fridge, getting a bottle of water and pulling out an uncrustables box (I like mini sandwiches.) He got out a Capri-Sun for you as well. He dug through his cabinet and pulled out a can of tuna and opened it. He put it in a small bowl so you didn't hurt yourself in the sharp metal. 
"A…what?" You asked. "Its like an act that humans do for entertainment. It's supposed to tell a story." He said and got out a remote, flicking the TV on. You stared up at it. It was so bright and colorful and…shiny. "Its so pretty…" You sighed and stared at it while he scrolled through some channels. He laughed at your comment. "There are plenty of them nowadays." He said and sat down on the ledge, facing the TV. 
"What kind of movie do you want to watch. Horror, drama, comedy, or maybe a series?" He suggested. You pointed at the one at the bottom. "Luca?" He asked. You nodded silently and took the juice pouch he offered you. 
You both silently watched it together, snacking on sandwiches and tuna, sipping on drinks quietly. As soon as the movie ended, you began to ramble about how relatible it was. 
"Its so sad that we hybrid can't enjoy life with so many humans killing us off!" You sobbed. Steve awkwardly ran his fingers through your hair. "Um…I hope you know that your safe with me." He said. You looked up at him with a small smile. "I…Thank you Steve." You whispered. 
You two watched bad movies all day, crying from laughter at some of the horrible acting in these movies and overall having a good time. But there was a commotion outside of the room in the living room where everyone was.
"Where is Steve? He hasn't come down all day." Bucky asked,  currently in a tournament with Sam and Clint. "He's up in his room, probably trying to figure out how the remotes work." Tony laughed. 
They shrugged their shoulders and continued on with their day. 
(Looooooong timeskip)
A full week has passed since Steve took you in his room and he just couldn't get a enough of you. You two would have intimate moments such as swimming in each others arms, staring into each others eyes, and holding hands. You loved the shock that went through your body when his warm body touched your cold one. 
You would cry in his arms sometimes because his touch made you feel like a human, warm and soft. You fell in love with him even more. 
You where currently in the pool, you and Steve were facing the ceiling and you were lazily swimming around. Your arms wrapped around his waist as his relaxed body was on top of you. You could hear his heartbeat, slow and calm. It lulled you and you were almost on the verge of sleep yourself. 
"Would you be mad if…I told you I love you…" I mumbled to him. He stayed quiet for a bit. You could hear a spike in his heart rate. "No. I think I would love you even more~" He sighed out. You went to the edge and put him on it. He smiled down at you. You got on the ledge next to him and smiled dreamily when he put his warm hand on my cheek. 
Our faces slowly started coming closer. "Please Steve, I love you so much." I whispered to him. Our lips collided together softly and our hands intertwined. I felt that same shock but it was bigger this time. It went through my heart to my head. I loved every single moment I had with this human and I cant wait for more memories to come, now that were together. 
We gasped and turned to the sound of the door opening. All of the houses members filed inside and stared at us. Tony, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Vision, Stephen, Sam, Bucky, and Peter all came inside the room.  
"Yo! Steve! You good- Woah! I didn't know you were getting it on!" Sam teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Bucky blushed in embarassment at his boyfriend's silly joke. He tugged Sam along as he still yelled at Steve down the hall. 
"Wow. Capsicle can pull some…fish?" Tony asked and looked at your tail. "Why is he kissing a boy?" "Thats gross." "Wasn't homosexuality banned in the 40s." You heard whispers in the crowd. Steve hid his embarrassed face in your neck. 
"I mean it's not the norm but as long as you're happy, that's all that matters." Thor said with a smile. "Can you please leave? I'm in the middle of something important." Steve asked, his face a deep shade of red that could rival Tony's suit. 
They all filed out and we were alone again. I stared down in anger and sadness. Steve noticed and tilted my face up at him. "Oh darling…I'm so sorry you had to hear that nonsense. They're just jealous because I have such a pretty boy. Don't listen to them-" I cut him off with a kiss. His eyes widened and his hands came up to my hips. 
We pulled away and he stared at me in shock. "I want to show them…how much of a good couple we can be…" You said to him and kissed him again. We went back in the pool and cuddled again, swimming around. 
_____________
Next up: Stephen Grant x Male Reader x Marc Spector
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liesmyth · 11 months
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What are the most griddlehark songs looking for suggestions
Not to be basic but. Every basic alt pop song reminds me of griddlehark.
BAD FRIEND BY RINA SAWAYAMA. ALWAYS
Wastleland Baby by Hozier but also Francesca. I Know a Place by Muna. Running up That Hill by Kate Bush. Love, Love, Love by The Mountain Goats. It's Alright by Mother Mother. Hatefuck by Cruel Youth. Seven by Tayor Swift. Garden by Phoebe Bridges. Forever Young by Alphaville. Start a War by The National but specifically the Live in Brussels 2018 version. Te Ara Tika by Lorde. Kids by MGMT. Book of Our Names by Ezra Furman. AUATC by Bon Iver. Girls Against God by Florence and the Machine. White Flag by Dido.
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renmackree · 2 months
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Even if it's only in my imagination
songs that remind me of ships: Allydia I Know a Place - Muna
requested by @dear-massacre
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strangeswift · 2 years
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Hi Robin Buckley enjoyers, if you care about Robin Buckley's music taste this very niche post is for you! Your local former band kid and music extraordinaire (me) is here. This is long.
All information on Robin's music taste was given by Maya Hawke. And before you argue that "Actors don't affect what is canon," Okay well Maya does. The costume department let her take home Robin's converse in season 3 (which she wears in every episode) and write whatever she wanted on them. Because of Maya Hawke, Robin's sneakers canonically have "I won't go down in history but I'll go down on your sister," and "TIDDIEZ" written on them. Checkmate.
So for our musical headcanon purposes we are going to take everything Maya says as canon.
I know that in season four Robin has the line, "Madonna, Blondie, Bowie, Beatles, music, we need music!" while she's sorting through Eddie's tapes as Nancy is getting vecna'd. But I believe she's just naming very popular artists hoping it will be a song Nancy would like. So I haven't taken this line into consideration for our purposes. (Though we do know from this interaction that Robin definitely is not a metalhead.)
According to Maya Hawke, this would be Robin's music taste:
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I whole-heartedly agree with her take on this, all four artists. This is just correct. And as I said, canon.
But what would Robin's favorite artist be, and what's her favorite song?
So glad you asked because I'm about to tell you!
Maya Hawke said in an interview that Robin would have the same music taste she does, because they are very similar. (More on this later)
If Robin's music taste is Maya's music taste, then it stands to reason that her favorite music would be most similar to Maya Hawke's own music.
In my opinion (which is correct because I know more about this than you so shut up) out of these four artists, based on overall lyricism, lyrical themes, musical themes, and vibes, the artist most similar to Maya Hawke is unarguably: Patti Smith.
But what is Robin's favorite song?
People Have the Power by Patti Smith! (Released in 1988, but go with it!)
Two reasons for this: it is one of the most similar to Maya's music lyrically and vibe-wise, and the lyrics would undoubtedly resonate with Robin.
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If you're at all familiar with Maya's music you can see the similarities in lyrical themes: use of multiple metaphors, use of imagery, overarching social commentary.
I won't go too much into why the lyrics would resonate with Robin but I will say that the Robin who spit in the face of a Russian general and mocked him would resonate with a song about people having the power rather than the government having the power. Also the fact that she and the rest of the main characters keep having to save the world rather than the U.S. government who got them into this Upside Down mess in the first place. And lastly, I think this song is a powerful song for anyone who feels powerless, like for example a lesbian in small town Indiana in the 80s. Or just a teenage girl in general.
Okay NOW let's talk modern day music because it's fun.
If you write modern Day AUs that include Robin you're legally required to read this:
In the same interview that Maya said Robin would have the taste she does, she specifically mentioned Phoebe Bridgers.
When asked about Robin's music taste on the red carpet at the Stranger Things premier, Maya Hawke again said that Robin would like the same music she likes and mentioned MUNA, Phoebe Bridgers, Charli XCX, Samia, and Christian Lee Hutson.
Another good take btw.
So what would be Robin's favorite modern day song?
If we're not allowing Maya Hawke to exist in our AU because that's too meta, I'd stick with Phoebe Bridgers as her favorite artist because she's mentioned her multiple times when asked this question and in the first interview Phoebe is the only artist that she mentioned.
So assuming Phoebe is her favorite artist and her taste in music is as close to Maya Hawke as we can get, then I can confidently say that modern day Robin's favorite song is:
Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers
(Source: I have listened to every Phoebe Bridgers and Maya Hawke song more times than any reasonable person should and this is the most similar. I wont waste your time breaking down why.)
Robin would also resonate with the lyrics:
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To her it would represent the thought of getting out of Hawkins one day (or already having gotten out of Hawkins), as well as the isolation that comes with being a lesbian in the 80s or even just being unpopular in high school. Also her neurodivergency (I hc her with ADHD because I have that and she is just like me fr but autistic Robin truthers you are so valid and honestly there's probably more canonical evidence for that). And lastly the idea that she would "do anything" for someone refers to both how selfless of a person we know she is but also the fact that she falls hard for people, we see that with Vickie.
Bonus! What would be modern day Robin's favorite album?
You might think Punisher, because that's the album Graceland Too is on.
You'd be wrong.
The correct answer is:
Folklore by Taylor Swift!
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Maya has said her most recent album Moss was heavily inspired by Folklore, and while it is distinctly different it definitely comes through in the album. And I'm not going to do lyrical analyses on why every song is relatable to Robin, but as a Taylor Swift Expert, just trust me on this one.
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I'm considering making 2 playlists one for 80s Robin Buckley and one for modern Robin Buckley but we'll see.
If you read this entire thing you are entitled to one free kiss on the mouth idk why anyone would read this incredibly niche ramble but tysm.
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Tracklist:
So Special • Loudspeaker • I Know A Place • Winterbreak • Around U • After • Promise • If U Love Me Now • Crying On The Bathroom Floor • End Of Desire • Everything • Outro
Spotify ♪ YouTube
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ariesmusingz · 19 days
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૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱ saves the world sentence starters pt 1 ( created using lyrics from muna's saves the world album. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )
so i let it happen again
i loved someone who's indifferent
that's why i can't sleep at night
that's why i keep sleeping in
so i started over again
i got back onto that medicine
i don't like when dreaming ends
there's a pink light in my apartment
it comes mid-morning as a reminder
at the right time, in the right surroundings, i will be lovely
i can't help thinking that maybe if you stayed for an hour or two
maybe if you'd seen the soft pink light i wouldn't be alone tonight
i'm living inside my mind
i keep retracting that storyline
thinking if i start again, i can change the way it ends
maybe i will always keep a little piece of this belief
if it isn't you who sees then there isn't any pink light in my apartment
waited a minute till you went in
we talked and then we stopped talking
put on a song and we listened
i know that i make you nervous
i do it half on purpose
you know i think you're precious
i think you're a good person
so why do i wanna blow up your life?
i'll be a very good girl
i won't even think about it
i'm just feeling like i can't help it
i know you said you had a girlfriend
i just want it if it's taken
dad left when i was 11
mom said it was cause he couldn't keep from tocuhing other women
some things have a way of sticking
now i'm standing in your kitchen
you said you told her you were leaving
i can't help thinking i hate you 'cause you're just like him
so why did i have to blow up your life?
i just thought that if i could take you from her, maybe then it would prove that i'm worth something
now i'm alone and i'm hurt
wishing i'd taken you at your word when you said you were taken
i know you said it
i just want it
i see you
it's been some time since i've seen you last
you know the night
i bet you know the night
i'm here
you're here
it's in the air like a firefly
it's june and july
i know you're bad for me
when you say you want me again
i can feel you up on me
it hits me all of the sudden
you can't touch
get your hands off me
there's no reason
i'm free
i get so high every time
happens every time
a damn idea
i focus then i hold that feeling inside
got this feeling inside
i want you
come closer
i feel like i've been here before
you want the power
you tell me it's now or never
you think i'm playing hard to get
this must be hard to get
you've got to get your hands off
you think i'm playing with your head
do you need me to do the chorus again?
i must be some great feeler
i must be really deep
i had a major crisis
when you stopped calling me i saw a psychic healer
she just turned 17
all that she said was to do what i want
like i'm supposed to know what that means
i'm gonna figure it out
i'm already here and i won't leave now
put a pot of coffee on
i'm just having a time
the good news is, if you don't like life, they say it doesn't last long
i was sad in the kitchen
tearing myself apart
trying to search for the piece that i'm missing
i didn't know where to start
i went to an art exhibit
there wasn't any art
all that there was, was a sink and some dishes
be where you are
i know it's not just me who thinks it is just me
got a bee sting on the way back from your house
it was crawing up my leg inside my car
something 'bout the way i had to pull it out
never healed quite right and now i've got a scar
i'm glad it left a mark
remind me what it was like seem i forget
when i'm drinking or i'm thinking with my heart
baby this is what you get when you're reckless and you're playing in the dark
you're gonna move to new york and experiment with communism
go down on a girl after reading her some frantz fanon
you'll go out of your way trying to find some place you can hide and get high
you're gonna call your mom
you're gonna cut off your hair with dull scissors from the desk in your dorm room
learn by trial and error that threesomes are more sad than fun
you're gonna move to la
guess you're running away from the patterns you have and the decisions you've made
yeah you're gonna sit in the sun
it's gonna be okay
you're gonna smoke cigarettes on the ground beside the pool at stardust
you're gonna get obsessed with a boy who's hooked on heroin
you'll have some all-time nights dancing outside with lcd on the speaker
you're drinking dark pink wine
you're gonna lose those friends
you're gonna fall in love with a girl which you were not expecting
you're gonna start a band
it's just her, another friend and you
then you get freaked out
you say something about how you just can't commit
you move into your aunt's house and all your dreams come true
you're going to come to depend on the sec of a sadistic stranger
you're gonna learn to pretend
you lie about it to save face
the morning you awake in the deepest of pain that you've ever been in
you admit you've got to quit him
you're gonna learn to pray
you're gonna start to call friends
you're gonna start to call yourself an addict
you finally read zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
you're gonna clean out your drawers
you're gonna feel much more like god is a mystery and jesus is a metaphor
you're gonna tell your reflection
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