#songs for when ur a human vessel for apocalyptic forces that have been passed on from person to person since the beginning of time

[albatris]

hmmm time for another post with a target audience of Just Me

so

i know it's the fray but like. listen. listen

there's songs on the atdao playlist which address tris's various mental states and at least a few of my own personal psychosis vibe tunes are thrown in n lots of them are kind of. A Lot. like the overarching mood through this category of songs as a whole is some combination of confusion, isolation and terror

the exception to this is "trust me" and it is also my favourite one of the songs that fall into this category. do i have any idea what the song is actually supposed to be about? nope! but i have ocs and i am Willing To Reach

that's all! that's what this post is. I'm going to get some work done now goodbye

also I literally did not have enough space in the tags to go on the tag ramble i wanted to go on but i KNOW i have addressed at least the end point before in much better words so i will leave it at this for now

#''i know its the fray'' listen i have a bunch of leftovers from my high school music taste lmao you cant judge me #its not my fault some of them have extremely fitting lyrics..... leave me alone...... #but yeah. it's the fray! but im very fond of this song and its role in the playlist #🎶🎵 we're only taking turns holding this world 🎵🎶 #🎵🎶 it's how it's always been / when you're older you will understand 🎵🎶 #songs for when ur a human vessel for apocalyptic forces that have been passed on from person to person since the beginning of time #songs for being the latest tired scared lonely person in a neverending chain of tired scared lonely people #whose souls are angry and restless and resentful and hurt and won't leave you the fuck alone #songs for being a house. you're not a part of this and It's Not You but it lives here and you can't look away #songs for shouldering a burden you don't want and never asked for and knowing it's completely incomprehensible to everyone around you #17 years old n having understandably a whole lot of different feelings about this including the confusion isolation and terror #addressed in other songs but mostly just an unspeakable endless ancient exhaustion #like. does any of that come across lyrically? absolutely not #emotionally though?? in my heart?? yeah #anyway. i havent explained any of this before #this little apocalyptic timebomb just gets handballed from person to person and life to life at random #in order for it to spread and continue its decay of the universe #is it a disease? is it the universe's in-built preprogrammed death? who knows #if it gets passed to you. you dont do anything with it. nothing you do does anything #its not conscious or evil its just Inevitable. just endlessly marchin on #you as a vessel or ''carrier'' dont channel it or anything honestly you're just a host basically #it can cause an acceleration of decay in the world around you #you may also find yourself on the receiving end of Communications from previous carriers #its a whole ramble i could go on. there's a lot to it. more than i can explain in the tag limit lol #is it real? no. i mean yeah? real is subjective? but no. it's not. though the story makes it clear that the point is #that it doesn't matter whether it's real or not because either way it doesn't change anything bc tris is still a good and kind #person whose life has importance and purpose blah blah #it's not a story about overcoming or eradicating this belief in the end it's just like. finding a way to exist alongside it #not accept it necessarily. just to find some solid ground to coexist with it without being in a constant state of guilt and panic #atdao