#songs to my spaniels | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gumballavocadoharry · 1 month

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A boy's best friend; Jack chambers:

*Mentions of abuse, trauma but also, EXTREME FLUFF!!!!*

*Also the lullaby is a real song from the 50's by a group called, The Spaniels.*

Jack's finger; wrapped in a gentle grip in Roger's mini hand. His soft green orbs staring into Jack's matching ones. Roger's little limp body wrapped in his thick cotton teddy bear quilt Alice knitted. It sprawled across Jack's arms; the crook of it pinching the tiny edges. Small gurgles pecked from Roger's gummy mouth; Jack gently rocking his little baby boy, cooing and whispering sweet gentle things.

"Who's my little teddy bear? You are! Who's a little baby bear? You are!" Roger's dimples eroded for his father's happiness. Soon, Roger was fast asleep in his father's arms; small snoozes whistling through his slightly ajar lips. Jack couldn't help but take a mental picture of the beautiful baby he privileged holding. He planted a light kiss on Roger's cheek before taking him to his crib and calling it a night. "Goodnight sweet prince....I love you."

That was just the beginning of an imperishable relationship between Jack and Roger. Stroller rides to the playground, fresh baked cookies made by Jack, dipped in milk pooling around in Roger's sippy cup, dancing along in the living room, hand in hand to one of Jack's records that spun to every drum beat. Bath time songs about getting clean, bedtime cuddles while anticipating the last adventure of 'Teddy McStuffins' that Jack made sound so exciting. And then the warm cloak of quilts brazing over Roger's little body, inviting the sweet warm goodnight kiss to be pressed onto his forehead like a ticket to a train ride of sweet dreams.

"Goodnight my teddy bear, I love you." The words tickled inside Roger, flushing a warm gush of love to river through him. But it was different now. Rod and Mick were Roger's buddies, his ride or dies. The three amigos were inseparable; pulling pranks, hanging out at the corner almost everyday after school, riding bikes around town and meeting up with Mick's sister and her friends who attracted the eyes of the young boys. Jack could even admit that Roger's friends reminded him of his gang around that age, but the sting still singed inside of Jack's chest. The scalding realization that he wasn't as special to his 'little buddy' anymore slaughtered him.

Jack had came through the door, smelling the seasoned scent of casserole filling through the downstairs entirely. He had taken a deep breath in from the unsparing day at the office; Frank walked with gritted teeth, training a new intern who seemed to care less about his job. He stayed stable with his senior employees, but the tense feeling still pinched tightly through the day and echoed through the office. The drive home was a flicker of street lights through the freeway and into the city.

Jack's mind puttered between work and dinner; his agonizing hunger gnawed at him the more his hands clutched the steering wheel. The only glimmer that seared through the caustic thoughts was a mental imagine of a game of catch with Roger and baking cookies with Susan. It sent a smile to his face, eyes glittering with love wanting more than anything to be home. Greeting Susan at the door with a chintzy coo: "Hey baby girl, I'm home!" Susan ran into her father's arms, receiving kiss after kiss on her rosy cheeks. "Oh I missed you so much! You, mommy and Roger!"

Susan pulled away, eyebrow arched a little. "Mommy?" Jack chuckled, cheeks tinting a blossom color, "Sorry, I guess it's just a habit from when you were little...." He fluffed Susan's hair, swishing her blonde coat from her dainty shoulders. Jack took in his daughter's full features: those deep dimples that poked even without a smile, those baby girl eyes that puffed sophomoric little orbs and those ginger pink lips; small and poppet.

He scanned the living room, searching for his chocolate headed boy. As Jack expanded himself through the living room, he found Roger writing at the kitchen bar, eyes focused on whatever he was jotting down. A warm jab cut through him; a sensation of special adoration pinging through him for his youngest, most fragile of the Chambers clan. It moved Jack to Roger, cupping him into his arms and pressing a sound smooch to his cheek. Jack was too clouded to recognize Roger's little disgruntled face: scrunched and furrowed.

"Hello, my little guy, daddy missed you today!" Jack cooed, rubbing his cheek against Roger's. Roger swallowed hard before pinching on a plastic smile and reciprocating Jack's sweetness, but with his own bittersweet. Alice couldn't shut the beam off her smile seeing Jack be so affectionate towards their children. "Hungry?" She cuddled up into Jack's side, placing a lipstick kiss to his cheek. Jack blushes and loosened the tie around his collar. He kissed back, allowing traces of Alice's ebony red to trace his lips.

Jack soon entranced himself in the smell of casserole that sighed through the kitchen. The family joined for dinner and small talk around the table. Jack had sealed in a planned date with Susan; a weekend for baking cookies, working in the garden and a countryside bike ride. Jack, with a silent grin, turned to Roger, about to ask what his plans would be for the evening when: "Hey, Mom and Dad? Can I go with Rod and Mick to the game on Sunday?" Jack bit his lip, looking to Alice, who nodded her head. "I think so, Jack?" Jack swallowed his bite, and nodded,

"Sure Champ."

Jack sat on the bed bench, fiddling his fingers together, waiting for Alice to finish rolling the last curler into her hair. Jack's eyes, droopy laid themselves to Alice who pranced out of their bathroom, bouncing in her silky lavender lingerie. "Coming to bed?" Jack tilted his head, "Yeah, I'm just gonna grab something to drink." Alice watched her husband promenade out of the door and tiptoe through the hall. Maybe from habit, Jack thought, he carefully peeked through the doors of his children's bedroom.

Susan was curled up; her back turned to the door. She was wrapping a hug around her little kitty doll that she would press against her cheek every night for a blanket of comfort. Jack couldn't help but let a dimply smile lift through his cheeks. He whispered an inaudible "Sweet dreams," before closing the door back.

Jack looked into Roger's room, seeing the little boy dangle off the side of his mattress; teddy bear had been dropped on the floor and Roger's snores were next to whispers. Jack didn't hesitate to carefully sneak inside and move Roger into a regular upright position and tuck his teddy next to him. Before draping the covers over his little body, Jack kissed his forehead. He let his fingers lift a loose tuft of hair from Roger's face, skating quietly through his skin.

Roger's eyes peeked a crack before shutting themselves again. Once his father's footsteps were out of the room, a smirk appeared so sneakily. He felt every warm touch that Jack planted. It soothed him more than he would ever admit.

Jack sat downstairs eating away on orange juice and some potato chips. The light of the television flickered through every commercial till eventually, static. The TV signal had turned off for the night so that meant Jack needed too as well. But he couldn't. One nagging thought pecked at his brain like fingers to a scab. I'm overreacting he thought. But no matter what he did to reassure himself that your mind can play tricks, Jack still couldn't seem to get a satisfying redeem.

He's growing up, he needs his space. He'll come around when he's ready. We still are best buddies..... right?

The words stomped loudly through Jack. Susan was more than willing to spend time with her old man, but Roger...no....no he made new friends....Mick and Rod. They just need to get acquainted. Jack just couldn't peer into his mind for all those moments he begged his father for a game of catch or when it did happen, his father would come at him hostile, full of angst leading to an argument and tempers flaring. Those painful memories of David, smacking Jack around for 'backtalk' when Jack insisted on starting a conversation, those angry words being yelled when Jack would make a mistake.

'Stupid' and 'bastard' were tattooed on his head every time Jack would wake up, walk around and lie down. One time, Jack decided that affection would possibly cheer David up after a harsh day at the factory. Jack assumed the best when he planted a peck to his cheek only to be back handed so hard that Jack could remember the flickering lights on the kitchen floor. It was his consciousness fading in and out he found out when a few minutes later, his eyes opened and nothing had changed. The smell of wax stung into his nostrils once he lifted himself up and limped to his room.

No wonder Jack wanted something better for his children. Jack moved his hand upon realizing something wet had spotted it. He sniffled and swatted tears away before rustling upstairs to his bedroom. Jack reserved any memories of his parents for the sake of his mental health. Even Alice only knew remnants of what Jack told her.

One particular Sunday evening while Jack was helping prepare the pasta salad, Alice had brought up David wanting to visit the house for the weekend. Jack's eyes; calm and steady turned threatened and fierce. "That man is to never so much step a toenail onto our curb, let alone the house! I don't ever want him near the children!" Jack's voice was gritted through his teeth. His grip on the knife tightened along with the tranquility of the house.

A stunned silence leaving Alice, Roger and Susan to give each other confused looks while Jack just studied his knife board and the chopped up carrots on it. Dessert was later served with an explanation and an apology from Jack.

Jack snuck up the stairs, quietly sneaking back into his bed next to a sleeping Alice. Jack's eyes stood open and active. His mind raced through the memories of David and it overloaded him to a sluggish awake. Jack dug through his mind to think of something more blithe and glee. Susan and Roger swinging at the park, Roger's toothless smile sucking on his ice cream cone, Susan in her princess dress dancing through the kitchen.

Those happy memories clouded one after another like a picture show. They brought serene to Jack. Susan; their little daddy and daughter date scheduled for Saturday. It made Jack glisten inside with fuzziness. Roger; his baseball game with friends. What Jack would've made into his and Roger's day: tickets to the game stashed away in his wallet, a pizza dinner afterwards and ice cream for dessert. Jack didn't realize he was smiling until his face dropped upon realizing that it wouldn't happen. His days of bonding with his boy were numbering. At least, that's what he thought.

Jack could feel the strings in his gut tighten. He could still feel the soft new skin of Roger's cheek pressing against his own. His arms wrapped around his baby tucked away and swaddled in this little burrito. The little boy he prayed for, the baby he wanted more than any career, any bachelor lifestyle that was in his reach...it would mean nothing if he couldn't grasp the one important piece of his life that could change everything for the better. He couldn't just let it slip from his grasp like silk from glass. So he wouldn't. Jack sealed the night with a vow to never let it go.

It would be too late for him and David, but for him and Roger....a different story. Jack slowly closed his eyes, dreaming of a fresh page for him and Roger. One Sunday couldn't cram all the buckets of adoration he had for him. But everyday could be a possibility.

The faint grunting hum of Dean's lawnmower trimming his lawn was like an anthem for 'good morning'. Jack rubbed his groggy eyes before tiptoeing downstairs to make breakfast. He decided on surprise pancakes; making them into shapes for everyone. Susan and Alice's was a heart and Roger's would be of a teddy bear. Jack dolled out effort for its button eyes and mouth. To him, it was Roger, innocent and cute yet mischievous if you stared deeper into its eyes.

Susan was the first to wake, coming into the kitchen and smelling the sweet scent of fresh pancakes, stacked on top of each other like books. "Hey baby girl," Jack kissed his daughter's cheek soundly, "I made some pancakes for everyone." The little blonde took a seat at the table, grabbing her fork and slicing through her little flapjacks. "Here you go honey." Jack poured syrup onto Susan's pancakes.

Soon, Alice came down, taking a whiff of the honeyed smell and sat next to Susan. "Oh, aren't these cute! Heart shaped pancakes!" Alice beamed at her husband's creativity. She rewarded him with a kiss to his cheek, letting her thumb edge through his small stubble. Roger, the last little participant was still sound in bed sleeping. Jack had slid Roger's pancakes on his plate before turning the stove off and rushing upstairs to his bedroom. Jack's slippers scratched across the wood, hearing only little coos of Roger's snores from behind his door.

Jack gave a few soft knocks before entering. He could swear his heartbeat speed up to an audible echo. His little boy, sprawled out over the covers, his teddy bear tucked under his arm and his mouth slightly ajar with morning pillow drool cascading from it. Jack took a quick mental picture of this moment before gently rustling his Roger awake. "Wake up my teddy bear, breakfast is ready." His voice had returned to the same cooing gentle bird like tone he religiously used with Roger as an infant.

Jack didn't hesitate to bend down and smother good morning kisses to Roger's face. Something to Roger's chagrin.

"Come on buddy, it's breakfast time." Jack picked Roger up in his arms and decided that he would carry him to the breakfast table. "Does Mr. Teddy wanna come join us?" Roger shook his head, trying to subside a frown from wrinkling his forehead. Jack set Roger down in front of his pancakes; cutting them into little pieces after gouging them in syrup. "That's adorable! Roger's is of a teddy bear!" Susan exclaimed. Roger gritted his teeth and flashed a superficial grin before shoving his mouth full of his breakfast.

"Oh," Jack grabbed a napkin and wiped away the syrup mushed around Roger's mouth. He gave a fatherly smile and rubbed Roger's shoulder. "There you go rogie." Roger didn't respond, just internally grumbled

The sun shimmered through the patio door. Jack was bright in his work suit; black tie with a gray suit and black loafers. Roger followed behind Susan, wearing his typical good boy clothes that would quickly mislead the common folk of an inverse to his behavior. Jack couldn't help but beam at his children. Looking at the little creations of his heart; once were droplets of dreams and now a vivid colorful reality. Jack looped his hand into Roger's little one while they followed behind Susan to the car.

Roger just stared down at the grainy crusty pavement of the driveway, not wanting to see his father's cheesy papa lion smile. Roger felt this waver of sarcasm inside when he felt Jack had even allowed him to buckle his own seatbelt. The ride to school was full of Jack's lively chatter. His glances through the rear-view mirror, his eyes full of adoration and adulation. The emerald jade of his irises popped like candy; sugar bubbling on your tongue that puckered sourness and a sweet rush through your mouth.

But Roger just concentrated on the blazing currents of grass taped to the curbs and sidewalks sidelining the street. The stoplight around the corner of the school sent a warm patch stomping through Roger's gut. A pinch of cold gashed through him as his brain would continue to radiate over what he feared.

Validation from Rod and Mick meant more than warm papa bear hugs from Jack.

"I want you both to have a nice day at school," Jack pulled Susan in, pressing a big hummingbird kiss to her cheek. Roger slithered down the mushiness with an eye roll, ignoring the flush feeling in his cheeks. "Roger, your turn," Jack's voice, rosy and coddled while his hand motioned for Roger's goodbye kiss. Roger hesitantly made his way across to the driver's side, where Jack quickly pressed a kiss to Roger's cheek, squishing the other side with his hand. Once Roger pulled away, he grabbed his lunch before running out of the door and towards the front door of the school. Jack saw them off, before putting his bel air into reverse and speeding off to his job.

Jack thought he outdid himself: not letting one precious moment slip away with his little boy. Scanning his card through the door, clocking in and taking a seat at his office was routine for him. But the fresh whiff of the sterile office walls was like ice in lemonade on a summer's day. His documents were laid and stacked on his desk, his typewriter firmly solid on the mahogany wood and the picture of his family stood boldly among the blandness of the engineering work that weighed heavily through the day.

Roger, meanwhile, stuck in his chair, hand slouching against his face while listening to Mr. Pecker go on and on about the boring science project that was due the following month. Roger could feel the inside of his stomach gnawing at the little crumbs of his morning pancakes he had to salvage the resistance of hunger. The clock ticking was deafening; pounding louder and louder against Roger's ears; his fingers patting softly on his desk until.....

Ring!

Roger along with his grade scurried from their classrooms and into the gym. Roger pulled out his sack. He sniffled in the wavering linger of his cheese sandwich with chips, apple juice and his two oatmeal cookies. Upon pulling the sandwich from the foil, a note had fallen into his lap. Roger unfolded it to reveal the sweet message written tenderly inside. Written with such grace as the cursive of the letters were close to perfect. A recognizable signature.....one of his father's. Roger knew it had to be him; memories of Jack signing permission slips and in school detentions slips.

The note somehow flew into the grasp of Chip Jameson, a fourth grader who was known for class pranks, one of Roger's idols. He read the note loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear, leaving a conundrum of laughter and teasing looks and glances towards Roger. His table laughed him out of the cafeteria, making Roger finish his lunch in the washroom stall.

The walk home was jittery. Susan, not knowing anything about the lunch time situation, kept pondering what her brother could be so upset about. He was fine this morning?

"Roger.....what's wrong?" Roger stopped in his tracks, handed his sister the note from his lunch that he managed to get from Chip and continued walking straight ahead.

This special lunch is dedicated to my extra special baby bear who loves his cookies! Extra papa bear love today!

Sincerely,

Daddy

"I'm sure he didn't mean for this to happen Roger..." Roger sighed. "I know..... it's just that.....my reputation hasn't been the best with the guys and so I just wanna impress them. And this is not helping." Susan swallowed and continued walking back to the house. Neither Jack or Alice's car was anywhere in the driveway, so Susan was always tasked with carrying the third of four keys. Roger had his own, but was usually Susan's temporary responsibility on the walk home from school. "Here," Susan unlocked the door, "Why don't I make us a snack?" Roger nodded, allowing a smirk to penetrate.

Susan grabbed a few cookies from the jar with two glasses of milk. "Thanks," Roger grabbed his half as the two settled into the living room for TV time. Susan snacked on her Oreo's while multitasking between the TV and her homework. Roger stared through the TV rather than at it. Shoving soggy, milky Oreo after Oreo into his mouth, leaving traces of black crumbs around his mouth.

"Roger, don't forget about your homework." Roger grabbed his science book and notebook; studying through the pages of butterflies that he was supposed to hypothesize in his notes. The sound of the car pulling into the driveway purred through the living room just as Roger and Susan had finished their homework and chores. Alice flew into the house holding two large pizzas. "I'm so sorry kids-" Alice sat the pizza down on the counter, "I was out all morning running errands.... good thing your father made those pancakes, kept me full until now."

Susan would just stare and admire the small strands of blonde that would fly every time a slight breeze would trickle her face. The small beads of sweat still didn't dew or blotch her mascara and eyeliner or the dark magenta lipstick she had put on just before she left the house. Susan loved how Alice dolled herself up, affectionately whenever stepping out in public. The navy blue dress flowed like a curtain against the air as her the clicking of her sliver heels ran from one end of the kitchen to the other, gathering everyone's plates and drinks. Once settled, Alice slicked her long hair back and tied it back into a bun before wrapping her children in warm hugs. "Hello ducklings!" She pressed kisses to both of their foreheads before fluffing her dress out again.

Jack rang through the door, setting his suitcase down and stripping off his suit jacket. "Daddy!" Susan jumped into a hug with Jack, letting him smother her face with kisses. Roger's shoulders gained tension. Like thick rocks had been dropped onto them, becoming stiff and heavy. His legs could only stand a few places behind his sister, watching their father give his affection to her and Susan welcoming it with such keenness. Roger's blood spiked when he noticed Jack's eyes meet his own. "Roger! How was your day?!" Jack came towards Roger, using his arms to pick him up over his head before coupling him into a side hug and smooching his face all over. "Did you get my note?"

Roger's plastic smile reared, sucking in every bitter aftertaste of what had happened. "Yeah....I got the note." So did everyone else he thought.

Dinner for Roger was a delicious pepperoni and mushroom filled charm. Sipping his iced tea, washing down the warm gooey taste of cheese felt like the center of a heated caramel cream candy he loved. Five slices of pizza later, his belly was stuffed. "Here comes Master Chief, plummeting through the fields, Arton! Prepare for battle, prepare for-"

"Hey rogie bear, just popping in to check on you.....whatcha doing?" Roger held up his action figures. "Well, guess what's on TV right now?" Roger's curiosity pecked him. Jack ushered him downstairs. A sudden gripe of excitement punctured through him, a hopeful thought of an action movie or a drama mystery. Maybe that new alien sci-fi movie that all the seniors were raving about. Maybe it would be 'The Blob'? Coming downstairs, Roger saw cartoon flashes of puppets, a woman sitting in the middle of the room on the carpet with millions of puppets and kids around her.

His eyes squinted and mouth ajar. "What's this?" "The Adventures Of Captain Caterpillar!" Jack grabbed a stunned Roger's hand and led him to the couch. He wrapped a blanket around both of them while cuddling Roger in his arms wearing the same papa bear smile. Roger's cheeks were stained red, flushed with this peach rose complexion. Roger would occasionally glance up to Jack's little singing voice, tuning along with the silly dandle songs the caterpillar would blare loudly while dancing around with his lanky friends.

The cringe riveted through Roger everytime some baby nursling song would pop out out of nowhere through the black mouths of some puppet. Finally the movie ended, and so did the tight cosset hug from Jack. "That was such a good movie! What was your favorite song?" Roger racked his mind, "Uh, the one about the kitten and turtle taking turns,"

"That was such a cute one! Mine was the sharing one with Barnaby the mouse and Cynthia the pelican." Roger thought for sure Jack's screws were loose. He could never be entertained by something of this nature anymore. Roger made small talk before goose stomping himself up to his room. He dropped on his bed in total mortification. He was aghast to have even been able to sit through the entire thing!

His internal moaning didn't last as a knock on a door interrupted his moment. "Hey baby, it's beddie by time." Jack cooed. He invited himself in with a book in his hands: The Bedtime Wish Of Mr. Lemur.

Roger's mouth stood open once his eyes zeroed in on the pasty blue cover. Jack took a seat on the bed and patted the right side of it, ushering Roger to join him. "This is a story of a wise old lemur, who enjoys a good bedtime story even in his old age." Jack read the first few pages before Roger decided to peek over, accidentally slicing his finger against the sharp edge of the paper. "Ouch! Paper cut," he soothed his pointer in his mouth, "Oh, hold still rogie," Jack kissed Roger's finger, "there all better."

Jack finished the story, allowing Roger to get into his Pj's before tucking him into bed. "Goodnight my Mr. Man, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite." Roger could only let Jack's puckering lips press against his forehead.

Once the lights were shut off for the night, Roger's mind was still awake. It raced through Jack pampering him and swaddling him in this cocoon. Unbreakable, unable to free himself from his father's dominating love. It swallowed him at every corner, abashing his chances at a fair impression for newcomers, Rod and Mick. It chided him. Bore into him, like teeth to a cob.

But even he couldn't expect the overattentive attention that he could receive by morning. In his eyes, it was a would be a new school day, a bright chance and a resumption of himself for the third grade.

Oh, Jack sure was proud of himself. His energy didn't die until two in the morning and by then, he had knitted two sweaters for his children for those chilly fall months. A flower one for Susan and a teddy bear one for Roger. He made matching hats for them as well and made the innocent choice of a teddy bear sweater for himself to match Roger's with the idea of being a pair.

As predicted, spring always brought warm sunny days with lulling breezes and sparkly neon flowers and other days were chilly and gray with a somber shadow looming over everything. Today was a mixture, chilly but sunny. Jack practically forced Roger to wear his new sweater, but he didn't expect the nasty surprise that awaited him after school.

While all the other kids rushed out, Roger stared to dart out after being questioned and teased for the "ugly teddy bear sweater" as he called it, he saw the same bright blue sweater hugging onto someone else. A taller lanky figure, coming closer he found it to be Jack. Roger frozen in place, his face blushing a bright blossom color mixed with coconut white in a pasty shade of fear. Kids snickered and giggled when they noticed the matching attire between father and son.

"Rogie! Come on down baby!" Roger did a walk of shame down the stone steps, slithering through the judgment of everyone and incidentally into Jack's arms. "Teddy Bear hug for my teddy bear!" A mortified Roger had little choice, but to bury his face into Jack's torso to shelter his eyes from any silly looks or bolstering laughs from everyone who watched this horror show. Jack walked hand in hand with Roger and Susan on the way home, chatting non-stop about his 'surprises' for the children when they were to arrive home. Roger's expectations were low. In his mind, it could've been anything to a baby swing or a brand new crib just waiting for him to be placed into.

Susan seemed to indulge in Jack's blabbering about his journey into getting the surprises from the store and how they had to be custom-made from scratch. Susan's eyes grew wide with excitement. Her bippy boppy pigtails bounced the more she skipped with bulging curiosity of what her present could be. Roger, on the other hand, barely made himself noticeable.

When arriving at the house, Jack ran ahead of them, enticing them to close their little eyes while Alice would help escort them inside. Roger's gut grew with some excitement- surely it would have to be pretty big if asked to wait outside with their hands to their eyes. Alice pulled them into the house and yelled "Surprise!" with an ardent rave. Susan opened her eyes first to see a brand new lip gloss kit just for her. It had different shades of pinks and some even had glitter mixed into them. "Oh, thank you so much Mommy and Daddy! I love it! I love it! I love it!" She squealed, jumping up and down before pulling Alice and Jack into a hug.

Roger grew really excited. Susan's pre-adolescent gift was like a preview for his, right?

A giant stuffed beige teddy bear with a propeller beanie cap on its head sat on the couch. Not the skateboard he'd hoped for..... the babyish teddy toy staring right back at him, mocking his childishness with a vigor. Nonetheless, to be polite, Roger wore a plastic smile and thanked Jack and Alice. "And don't forget, these are custom-made! I had Susan's lip glosses made fresh from the counter at the mall. The brand is No7®. And Roger's came from ToysRus®. I had it made specially for him, and had his name inscribed on the bottom of the teddy bear." Roger cringed from being reminded that his 'gift' was from a toy company, while Susan's was from the mall where most adults and teens shopped for their items. Sure, people shopped at ToyRus..... for strollers and cribs along with baby rattles and bottle sets.

Later in the evening, once chores were finished, homework was done and dinner was eaten, Roger was spending the remainder of his night watching Looney Tunes. Jack took a seat next to him, propping a laying Roger's feet into his lap. His fingers gently warmed their way on the soles of his soft little feet. Squishy in Jack's hands. "Did you have a nice day at school?" "Yeah," A short diluted answer. Jack questioned again, "Do you like your teddy bear?" His voice, cooing slightly. "Mmhm." Maybe he's tired, Jack thought to himself. So, he rubbed Roger's feet harder. Only a bit. Even Roger had to agree that Jack's massages were relaxing and that his feet did need the extra attention from the walk home from school.

Jack was gentle and detailed- rubbing to a pattern that would relax Roger's little feet. Once Looney Tunes went off, the familiar twinkle tune theme of The Twilight Zone popped on. Roger's eyes grew bigger, anticipating what would be the mystery of tonight from Rod Sterling. "Oh no, this probably is too scary for you, Rogie," And with that, Jack clicked the television off to a black screen. "It's bedtime anyway now." Roger's internal glare bored through Jack as he settled Roger into his arms for a moment, before setting him down from deciding tonight was not the night his back could withstand the weight of his eight year old.

"Do you know what time it is?" Jack asked, Roger shrugged, "Bath time!" A hot flash spiked up Roger's back and stabbed into his cheeks. Once he saw the ducky bath towel sitting on the counter of the sink among the other bath toys, a sliver of fear eroded in him. Roger returned to the bathroom with just his robe on before getting into the bubbly warm bath water. It felt good against his skin; a serene little moment of peace before the storm. Jack came in, sat to the side with a wash cloth and began to wash Roger's face and body. "We did this all the time when you were a little baby. I would get you all clean and sing you this little bath time song I made up....something called 'Gilly in the tub' or Cleanie time'..... something along those lines." Roger was not impressed... in fact, it wasn't until Jack raised his arm up and cleansed his armpit that he felt the true sting of feeling babied. His open mouth to protest led to a mouthful of soapy bubbly water once Jack had rinsed the cloth and squeezed the water onto Roger's face.

He wrapped Roger in his ducky bath towel and led him to his bedroom to lotion himself and put on his pajamas, while Jack drained the tub. But when Roger went to put on his pajamas, the ones laid out for him were these sky baby blue cloud printed footie type expect without the footie part. Roger raised an eyebrow, he'd never seen these pj's before. Were these missing ones that I had forgotten about? He questioned himself. But once Jack came and explained that they were simply new ones he had gotten that day because of "how cute they looked," he couldn't resist. As if Roger's face wasn't crimson already, he got a duplex nasty surprise when he realized the pj's came with a sleep bonnet and that Jack had bought matching ones himself.

Jack pretty much insisted Roger wear his together with Jack. "And don't forget the bonnet either, baby!" Roger's face brightened into a tomato red, having the bonnet plopped on his while being called a 'baby'. Jack grabbed a book from the shelf and sat on the bed. "Curious George gets a medal." Jack read the story with such animation that he hoped would provoke an honest keen in Roger. But he was still batty with wearing baby cloud pajamas that matched his father's. Once the story was finished, Jack tucked Roger into bed. "I'm not sleepy," Jack raised an eyebrow. "Not sleepy? How about a glass of milk?" Roger nodded.

Jack left the room just Susan entered. All she had to do was take one glance at Roger, then at Jack... before bursting a loud laughter. It furrowed Roger's eyebrows before he hopped out of bed and pushed Susan from his bedroom. "Shut up!" He slammed the door before walking over to his desk with a huge pout on his face. "Hey, what's Susan laughing at?" Jack popped through the doorway, glass of warm milk in one hand and two cookies in the other. "Nothing," Roger shook his and climbed back into bed. Jack set the cookies on the nightstand before tucking Roger in. "Now I don't want you eating and lying down, okay?" Roger nodded.

Jack paused for a moment before gathering a fatherly look in his eye, "How about I sing you a lullaby?" Roger's eyes went wide, "Oh, that's okay.... this milk is gonna hit the spot I think." "Are you sure?" By then, Jack had invited himself on the bed and lifted Roger into his lap. "I have a really good one that I used to sing to you as a baby?" Roger knew he couldn't back out of this one. If his voice cracks.... Thought a close to fed up Roger. "Okay," Hesitant with no free will to decline.

"Well, it's three o'clock in the morning,

Baby, I just can't be here tonight

Well, I hate to leave you, baby

Don't mean maybe, because I love you so

Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go

I hate to leave you, but I really must say

Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight

Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go

I hate to leave you, but I really must say

Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight

Now, the sun might come and the birds

Might hear if I stay here too long

One kiss and we'll part

And you'll be sleeping

You know I hate to see you go

Goodnight, sweetheart goodnight."

Jack's voice was indeed soothing a tuned, but it still didn't stop the deep impending cringe Roger felt from sizzling inside him. "Now it's really time for bed, baby bear," Roger hated bring called that nickname.... at least some of the time. But tonight, he really hated it. He hated his pajamas, he hated his sleep bonney, he hated the bedtime story..... he hated being pacified by his father.... endlessly. Even the feeling of the thick snug warm quilt being placed over his body, sprouted hatered through him. "Goodnight little duckling, sweet dreams.... I love you very, very, very much!"

Jack bent down and kissed Roger's cheeks- not just once; puckering a squeaky smooch to his chubby cheek, he lavished the little boy with a series of affectionate goodnight kisses. As if Roger's boiling point wasn't already bursting to a head, the last kiss was the loudest- a long 'Muah!' being hummed loudly through the entire bedroom, Jack's hands holding Roger's with a gentle grip and his face only spaces apart from Roger's. It ended with Jack's lips practically sucking the fleash off Roger's face, leaving a wet smooch mark in the form of Jack's love; heart shaping around his right cheek.

Jack gave a quick pinch to his cheek before leaving the room for the night. Roger was lying straight in bed; frown rooted on his face, shooting a glare that could chill the spiciest of things. Roger ended his night with swallowing his pride and hoping for a twist to his domain. He cuddled himself under his quilt before wrapping a gentle arm around his teddy bear. He stared into its eyes; black and lifeless, but forgiving to Roger's hidden animosity. He turned his eyes off for the night, allowing his body to drift into a weakness for slumber.

It was the middle of the week and Roger had no interventions from Jack. Thursday was promising with its spring blossoms and humming bees that whizzed past your ear. The sun poked through the glass of the classroom, allowing a sunny twinkle to splash Roger's skin during math. It was all rainbows and butterflies until a napping annoucment was made by Mr. Weschester, the principal. "Remember students, don't forget tomorrow is chaperone day. Parents and PTA staff faculty will participate as classroom helpers and lunch monitors, Friday. So, don't be surprised if you recognize one or a few people at the school!" He chuckled slightly.

It didn't alarm Roger. After all, Dad would be working and Mom doesn't even know yet.

"Hey Roger!" He turned to see his sister running full speed through the hall, "Did you hear? Tomorrow is particiaption day, so it means Mom and Dad might be at the school tomorrow! That would be so great..... I would be able to show them all my teachers and hear them say how well I'm doing in their classes.... they'll be so proud!" Roger wasn't amused.

"I'm not surprised that you're not excited...... you're always doing something bad anyway," Roger opened his locker, "I'm not doing anything! I just don't think it's 'super cool' to have your parents show up at school.... I mean, you don't see me showing up at dad's job, right?" Susan shrugged, "It's Mick and Rod, isn't it?" Roger gave Susan a side look, "It's me Susan. You know how I've always felt about that," Roger grabbed his lunch from his locker, "Yes, I am trying to impress them right now, but....." Susan lifted a brow, "What?"

"I just don't want Dad showing up at the school. He's been so clingy lately- and don't try to deny it or stick up for him!" Susan giggled, "Oh yeah, like last night, in your matching pajamas and the matching baby bonnet that he made you wear. It was so funny!" Her voice squeaked. Roger slammed his locker door, "Whatever, if you see him, tell him I'm not his baby bear!"

He stormed away, leaving Susan behind with a graded worry and confusion. The lunchroom was filled per usual, only this time, Roger found a slightly more isolated table. The incident of the last time haunted him enough to keep his space empty or at least less crowded. But upon opening his lunch, Roger once again found a letter in his bag.

Dear Roger,

I just wanted to write about how special you are and how much fun I've had spending time with you the way I have. Our little walks when it's time to go home are pleasurable, our time together on the couch is relaxing and entertaining, but most importantly.... it's our bedtime that's my absolute favorite time with you. We get to read stories and I get to hold you in my arms as you slowly drift off to dreamland. And of course, sending you off with goodnight kissies and huggies to end the night, is a very important ritual to me. I love you more than anything and I hope you have the best day at school my guppy puppy!

XOXO

Love,

Daddy!

Roger scanned through the note before crumbling it inside the pocket of his jacket. He sat and ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich without any surmising feelings of anyone.

Friday arrived. The sun was bright and early, the birds were awake and breakfast was already on the table. Toast with melted butter, orange juice, bacon and eggs were served with a ginger smile from Alice as she set the last plate of food down on the table. She dusted the flour off her aporn before taking a seat with the rest of her family. Roger, unsupecting to Jack sharing a smile with Alice before looking back to their children.

Susan eating her toast peacfully while looking through her assingnment and Roger sipping his juice while sharing his looks between his plate and the wondering eyes he sensed from the table.

The ride to school was filled with songs from Dean Martin. Roger just let the base of the radiowave take him as he anticipated every melody from the singer. He noticed Jack having this grin shaded on his face; unbreakable even when the traffic jamed and when a j-walker stepped out in front of the car and he had to slam his breaks and his horn at the same time. It didn't grind into Roger until they pulled up in the parking lot and he noticed Jack turning off the car. He turned around to Roger, "Puppy, Daddy's going to go in with you this time..."

Roger looked to the side before turning back to his dad. "Is something going on?" "Well, sorta..... I'll tell you about it later," Now Roger was really confused. But, for once, he obeyed his father and followed him out of the car. Jack wiggled his fingers into Roger's little hand and held a tight grasp to it, like he was dangling from the edge of something and Roger was his lifeline connection. "Remember when we used to hold hands when we would to school some mornings?"

"Yeah..." Jack smiled down at Roger. He rubbed the back of Roger's hand with the side of his thumb. It made Roger self conscience- all eyes seemed to bore directly in their direction, like an alien was walking in broad daylight amongst the public eye. But they weren't. Only a few giggles broke through the clambers of laughter and causal chatting amoung the students. Father and son made it into the school where Roger broke free from Jack's pyhsical grasp and started on his way up the stairs after a quick aloof goodbye. "Nugget! What about your kissy kissy?!" Jack shouted; shuffling through the groups of children that seemed to stand in the way of his getting to Roger.

"I have to kiss you, baby bear!" Roger just stood frozen. Shocked and horrified at those little sentences. He shot his head around to see the slather of classmates mocking and teasing him much to Jack's complete oblivion. Roger stumbled down the stairs, struggling to meet Jack's gaze before being enveloped in a firm bear hug and receiving a resounding kiss on his forehead. And of course, Jack completely smothered his little face in goodbye kisses. One 'Muah' after another. Roger's face didn't seem to fade from its crimson color. It got bolder and bolder with everything Jack seemed to do that would humilate Roger to no end.

Why does he always embarrass me at the worst times? Roger's mind wasn't shy about conveying a few malefic thoughts of Jack of his own. "I love you, baby cakes. Now run and get to class now." "Baby cakes?" A boy questioned. Roger wiggled out of Jack's hug and ran to his class as fast as he could. Couldn't Jack see the slur of students he gathered around them? The crowd that was drawn because of his yelling? Like ants to an abandoned potato chip lying on the pavement.

Roger's day could only get worse as he realized out of his entire class, Jack was the only parent who showed up for particapation day. The realization made Roger want to scream. Jack would pop into the classroom ocassionally to help with passing out papers and cleaning up after the kids. He never seemed to busy enough to squeeze in the occasional hug or kiss to Roger. Pinching his cheek or rubbing his head wasn't barred either.

At lunch, Jack was chaperoning the students- paying extra unneeded attention to his own: wiping his mouth, feeding him the pudding he put in his lunch ealier, and the finale..... burping him; patting his back while his head was craddled against his shoulder. Then recess rolled around.

"Hey Mick, watch this!" Roger swung on the rod of the jungle gym, intending a front flip, but instead landed on the concrete asphalt. His knees were scrapped; blood trickling down them like tears. Roger tried getting up, but was stagnant on the ground. "Roger, are you okay?!" Mick ran to his friend and tried helping him up, but the watchful eye of Jack caught them and with lightning speed, flew over towards the boys. "Rogie! Are you hurt?! Did you get a boo boo?" He bent down and examined Roger's scraped knees. "Oh, you poor baby, it's okay.... daddy's got you," Jack lifted Roger and carried him to the nurses, bridal style. "Dad! Everyone's looking at us!" He whined.

"Oh, don't you worry about them... let's take care of Roger first."

The bell rung, recess was over and Jack was to be back at Roger's next class. Roger came limping back from the nurses with his legs cleaned and bandaged. "There's my little pookie bear, do you feel better?" Roger's cheeks stung again. "Dad.... I'm not a pookie bear," His teeth were gritted, "Well, you're my pookie bear.... forever and always." Roger sucked up an eyeroll.

The last class of the day seemed to shot by fast. Out in the hallway, Roger noticed Jack with Mitch and Rod, huddled around together. Roger's heart sped up, his breath became shaky and his mouth dry and metallic. He caught the tip end of Jack's memory of Roger's little daycare accident; his diaper being poofier than his whole little body and Jack speeding through track just to get there to change him. "I was so worried that Roger was going to get a diaper rash..... I think I went to five different stores to find the right diaper cream for his little bottom...."

Mick and Rod burst out laughing. "Can you tell us more stories of baby Roger?" Jack giggled, "Of course- in fact, I have pictures of him as a baby." Before Roger could intervine, Jack had whipped out pictures of baby Roger in the bathtub or comepletly nude on the living room rug. Jack's eyes had this twinkle of adoration in them- he loved talking about his children when they were little. "Roger was so adorable- oh and had the roundest little bottom I ever seen! I had made up this little song called 'Icing on the cake', and I would sing it while changing Roger's diaper."

"Why did you call it 'Icing on the cake'?" Rod asked, side eyeing Roger with a little smirk emerging from his mouth. Roger's eyes grew big, praying that Jack wouldn't reveal the most embarrassing story of his life. The most humilating secret that he would never let out for anyone. "I called it that because when I would put diaper powder and cream on Roger's little bottom, he would get fussy, so I would sing it for him to soothe him.... and because it was like icing a cake. His little bottom looked like a fluffy cotton ball.... that's why sometimes I call him my RoRo Bear."

Roger was in utter disbelief. A shock of total and utter humilation. His most embarrassing secrets were revealed right to the very people who he worked so hard to impress and entertain. The nickname he hated being called and the story he never wanted out was now in full circle, ready to blowup to the whole school. Jack finally spotted Roger, flashing him an innocent fatherly smile. "Hey munchkin, I was just talking to your friends Rod and Mick- they're very nice!" But Roger's face was stuck, stuck in a dark crimson colored dispair. "What's wrong?" Now Jack's voice rang concern. Roger furrowed his eyebrows into a deep glare and walked around the trio; going straight to his locker, pulling his backpack and walking out the front door, hoping to get trapped and lost in the rushing rabble of the students.

"Roger! Roger!" Jack caught up to him, and pulled him close to him. "What's the matter baby?" "I'm not a baby! I'm not a muchkin! Or a pookie poo or pookie bear or whatever, I'm not any of those things! And I'm not your little baby either! How could you do this to me?!"

"To you?" "Yeah! Why did you have to run and tell Mick and Rod about the Icing on the cake story or reveal my RoRo bear nickname?! Why did you have to come to school anyway?! Or buy matching Pj sets or kiss me everytime you see me or sing me a stupid lulluby? Or...Or......." Roger just scoffed out of Jack's grasp but stopped, fully allowing the boiling point come to a head, "I'M NOT A BABY ANYMORE! SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE!" Roger huffed off, running all the way home with tears streaming down his little rosey cheeks. The crimson was wearing off, but the sting still stayed behind, leaving escars of disgrace deep in him.

Roger stopped at the corner, wiping his face from the thick rill of tears. "I'm never talking to him again." He said to himself. Roger looked around hoping to beat Jack's green chevy bel air to the house. He stormed in, said a quick greeting to his mother before locking himself in his bedroom, spending the next fifthteen minutes with a deep glare sprawled across his face.

Jack came in wearing a sullen teary eyed frown. "Jack?" Alice came over and sat him down on the couch. "What's wrong what happened?" Jack looked down, "He hates me,"

"Roger?" Jack slowly nodded, "I accidentally embarrassed him at school and he got angry and ran home, I'm assuming." "Yeah, he just ran upstairs not too long ago- what did you do?" Jack swallowed, "I guess I got carried away with being affectionate with him..... I babied him a little too much..... I always forget that's a sore spot with him!" He slammed his fist down on his thigh. "I'm gonna go talk to him." Jack's eyes looked toward the stairs.

Jack's feet were whiny against the wood of the stairs. He held tight to the railing, not allowing his legs to wobble him unbalenced. He could feel the tension from behind Roger's door. It only spotted a speck of softness once he heard the faint sniffling sounds on the other side. It made him want to break through the door and wrap his little one in a hug, but a sharp pinging sense of misgiving halted any mollycuddling thoughts. Instead, he delicately pittered a knock on the door. "Come in," Jack slowly tiptoed into Roger's bedroom, scouring his soft sniffles from tears that he had been crying alone in his bedroom.

"Roger.... can I sit?" He shrugged, "Whatever."

Jack took a seat across from Roger, "Rog..... I never meant to embarrass you...... I was just trying to-" Jack stopped, racking his brain for the right words, "I just wanted to be close to you. I thought that if I showed you how much I love you..... we would be close again."

"When were we not close?" Even Jack couldn't answer that. He realized just how overexaggerated his idea really was. "You made new friends and-" "Now I probably won't have because of you!"

Jack had to bite his tounge and swallow the shallow pettiness of pride he had from his callous mistake. No matter how he would spin this, Roger would never the plot. Jack himself was though. He made it all about him more than he ever could've for Roger. All because of a haunted memory he carried with David. Jack wanted to be better, he wanted to be opposite. So much....... that he forgot what was right in front of him. His pride was shaken so much, that looking Roger in the eye would be very painful....more than it should've.

"I'm so sorry Roger. Honestly, I am. I know you're not a baby...... it's not always easy for me to admit that to myself everytime I see you growing up and doing things on your own. In my mind, I guess I was thinking of some of our best memories being when you were just so.....so....little. So helpness and fragile.....you needed me then. You needed me so much, and I just felt so responsible for being this positive influence in your life that....... I couldn't help it. I still see you as a baby on some days and.... I guess I got a little carried away,"

"A little?" Jack gave a tight smile, "A lot." Roger turned his sight back to the floor, "Roger, look at me darling," Roger slowly lifted his eyes back to Jack's. "I'm very, very, very sorry about.... everything. You're not a baby and I was wrong for being that way...." Jack's eyes softened, a soft tiny smile rippled on face, "I look at you now.... and I'm so proud of you. I love you very much, and the last thing I would ever want is to make you cry or be angry or in pain."

Jack held out his arms, "Do you forgive me?" Roger eventually let a smile cross him, giving into his father's pout and falling into each other's arms. "Of course." Jack squeezed Roger tightly, never wanting to let go. "Just promise me one thing....."

"What?" Asked Roger. Jack pulled away to look into the green of Roger's eyes. "Promise, no matter how big you get.....you'll still be my little baby bear?" Roger smiled, "I promise." The father and son hugged each other tightly, running through the strainds of hair on the back of each other's heads. Roger felt Jack's hand rubbing and craddling his little head, while Jack felt Roger's little hand rub in between the back of his scalp and neck.

Jack decided to savour the little present moment without any doubts or past memories to cloud what already exsisted......

Their love for one another.

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