#soon you reek of angst & no one wants to be around someone wallowing in some bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

floralseokjin · 4 years

Text

;decalcomania 1. (m)

no matter how hard you both try, the past will never return

pairing; jeon jungkook x reader genre/warnings; angst, mature content, cheating mentions, vomit mentions words; 2,669

part 2 found here

He was torn. To close his eyes and try his best to lose himself in the past, where you were both so happy and content, so in love that the world could never hurt you, or to keep his eyes open, savouring your beauty. The way your eyelashes cast downwards, painting shadows across your cheekbones in the dim lighting. The way your mouth parted, pleasure etching its way across the rest of your face as you moaned softly. Quietly. Like you didn’t want to give all of yourself to him. Not anymore.

You had once upon a time. He was the one you trusted the most. The one who had always been there for you. Loved you unconditionally. The one who would never hurt you.

He’d ruined that the night he’d fallen into another’s bed.

It was a miracle you still wanted him after such a betrayal. But you did. Forgiveness was a work in progress. Had been for so long now, and as the weeks dragged into months, he was beginning to think it was impossible. He didn’t blame you. He hadn’t forgiven himself yet. He didn’t think he ever would.

But it was easy to kid himself when you reached for him in the dead of night. Wrapping your arms around him, lips hesitant but in need against his. Sick of the gap between the both of you. The cold sheets. The silence. You were hungry for some love. The love he’d ruined. Because even though you were finding everything so difficult, and rightfully so, you still craved him badly. He was all you’d ever known after all. Likewise, until he’d fucked it all up.

Each time he had you like this, spread so beautifully and under him, it always felt like it was the last time. Like he had to prepare himself for the inevitable. For the end.

It never was.

You were both too weak to let go. You, because you thought you needed him, and him, because he was selfish.

He chose to keep his eyes open. Only because yours were closed tight. You were lost in the past for the both of you, hanging on for dear life. That, and he knew you couldn’t dare look at him when you were like this. He didn’t know what you saw, but he could guess. Visions of him with someone else. He didn’t know what you felt, but he could guess.

And he hated himself.

He hated himself for fucking up your life.

It hadn’t always been like this. You’d been happy for a long time, young and in love. But like everyone, age caught up with you both, and with age came change. Jungkook hated to admit it, even now, after everything, but he wasn’t who he used to be. That was where all your troubles began. Where it all went wrong.

One argument. Brewing for God knows how long, about how he’d changed. Work had skewed his mind, that’s what you’d said. He’d lost himself along the way. He wasn’t the Jungkook you knew, and you wanted him back. He was stubborn, always had been, so he’d venomously denied it. He’d shouted. He’d slammed his fists against counters and thrown things. If he had changed then so had you. He wasn’t solely to blame, and he wouldn’t let you turn it all on him.

Looking back, he knew he had been wrong. He was deflecting. Scared and hurt. You hadn’t changed at all. Not even one little bit. But maybe that was the problem. You were both moving in different directions but still tied so tightly together. Unable and unwilling to cut the cord loose.

That evening he’d watched you throw his things into trash bags, hearing the same words over and over again. It’s over. It’s over. It’s over. He still heard them four hours later, the bags at Jimin’s place while he sat in a shitty bar somewhere. Alone, seething and heartbroken. He got drunk to the rhythm, it’s over, ordering one drink after the other. In the midst of it all he saw a woman making eyes at him from across the room. It was obvious what she wanted. He probably reeked of self pity, wallowing in his sorrows, glass after glass. Some people got off on that.

She made her way over and listened to him. It was nice talking to a stranger. Someone who wasn’t biased. Someone who didn’t know you. He called you a bitch at some point. He remembered that vividly. The rest he’d tried to block out. The woman had been nice to him, rubbed his shoulder as she comforted him, stroked his arm, squeezed his leg. She’d told him all the things he’d needed to hear. To make himself feel better. About how you didn’t deserve him and how much this seemed like an excuse to ease your own guilt for not loving him anymore. That tore at his heart. He hadn’t realised you might not love him anymore. He wondered how long you could have possibly felt like that. You seemed selfish, that’s what she had said, but that couldn’t be right. He was the selfish one, always had been, and definitely right now.

He’d let the woman kiss him, whisper things in his ear that got his dick hard. It made him sick to try and remember, but that’s what had happened. That’s how he’d found his way into her bed, repeating the same words in his head as he stripped and fucked the stranger. You didn’t want him anymore. It was over. You didn’t love him.

The guilt ate him up as soon as he woke up in the early hours of the next morning. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, not quite making it to Jimin’s place as he threw up in an alleyway a block away. He couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or revulsion at himself. It just kept coming, heave after heave, even when the contents of his stomach had been stripped. Memories of last night warping their way behind his eyes as he clenched them tight. It was clear then.

It was a deep self loathing that made him spill his guts.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, he ripped it out, seeing your name. His heart dropped when he read the messages. About how you couldn’t sleep at all last night without him there, about how much you regretted what you’d said and how you couldn’t let him go like that. You loved him too much, and you wanted to try and make things work, if he would let it. You were just so damn sorry.

It made him heave again, a fresh sickness spreading, even though there was only sour, yellow bile left.

Jimin had heard him rush through the apartment, calling out to him, wondering where he’d been and assuming it was back home, making up with you. One look at Jungkook dismantled that. He had no choice but to confess, beside himself, and Jimin listened in horror, unable to understand why he would do such a thing. One thing was for certain though, he needed to tell you. He knew that even before Jimin demanded him to. If he wanted to try to salvage this, he needed to confess. The thought made him feel sick, but he knew if he didn’t, he would never be able to live with himself. He didn’t think he could live with it even after confessing…

He’d showered in scalding hot water, until his skin was red and sensitive, desperate to wash off his sin, yet it didn’t feel enough. He was still dirty. He was still a cheat.

You’d looked relieved when he’d turned up at the door, clutching him, whispering desperately about how sorry you were. He wanted more than anything to be able to reassure you it didn’t matter. To hold you tight and promise things would go back to how they were. But he couldn’t. It was a lie. You had nothing to be sorry about, while he had everything, weighing down on his heart, his body.

He would never forget the look on your face as he told you. The floor disappeared from under your feet, and you looked like you might pass out. First there was a shocked silence, denial following soon after. Then the anger consumed you. You’d shouted at him, screamed at him, until your throat was raw. The hate in your eyes almost made him cower. You demanded he gave you all the nasty, sordid details. He tried to fight, he tried to beg, but it was to no use. You wanted to know everything, and he had to fight through the haziness and his shame to recall the night previous. You listened silently, no expression on your face, eyes dead. He tried desperately to emphasise how much he hadn’t enjoyed it, but you had just sneered at him. He knew it was all just excuses. Nothing could change. He had done it. He couldn’t take it back.

Finally, you cried. You cried so hard it brought you to your knees, took your breath away. He had ruined your life in a few simple words. He remembered how helpless he’d felt. Unable to comfort you because he was the reason for your misery. He’d spent so long protecting and cherishing you and now this is what he had done. All because his pride had been bashed. All because he was selfish. All because he was a fool.

You cried until no more tears would come. Rough sobs continued to rattle your chest, tore at your throat, but with a strength he found admirable, you were finally able to compose yourself. It could have been minutes, hours, his head was too much of a mess to judge time. You looked him dead in the eyes and told him you hated him. He was the person you trusted most in this world and he’d betrayed you. He was the one you’d loved for so long, but he was the one who had hurt you so easily, without a second thought.

He tried to hold you. He tried to make you see how sorry he was, but you wouldn’t listen. He’d wanted you to so badly listen. Instead, you screamed at him to get out, and he couldn’t bear it.

He’d finally broken down. He’d sobbed, falling to his knees as you stood before him. Wrapped his arms around your legs and hugged himself to you like a scared little child. He was so scared. The reality of losing you was too much to stand. You were his life. He was nothing without you. He needed you to believe that, but now you no longer trusted anything that came out of his mouth. You were unemotional as you watched on, not an ounce of sympathy on your face. Not that he deserved it. He knew that.

So, he had no choice but to listen. To leave, dazed and distraught, aimlessly walking around town like he was lost until he somehow found his way back to Jimin’s apartment.

But like he’d said, he was selfish. He couldn’t leave it like that. He could make everything right again, make it better. He knew it.

Each day he tried to contact you. For the first week you didn’t pick up his calls, ignored his voice messages and his texts, but he didn’t give up. He just tried harder. When he finally heard your voice again, he broke down once more, plea forgotten for a moment. To his surprise you seemed moved by his reaction, voice almost gentle, just like it had always been. He didn’t deserve it. You asked him to talk about anything. Anything and everything that wasn’t about what he’d done. You just wanted to pretend for a little while. Pretend he was away for work and you were catching up.

He could do that for you. He could do anything.

Pretending came easy at first. He was just so thankful. But you’d been doing it for months now and it wasn’t getting any better. Instead of acknowledging his betrayal and trying to work past it, you’d both ignored it completely. He’d let it happen because he was a coward, just so, so happy you were giving him a chance. Slowly letting him back into your life, back into your house, and back into your bed.

Only there was something missing.

You weren’t letting him back into your heart. He had tried so hard, he was still trying so hard, but he was beginning to realise it might not work. That this was it.

He’d ruined everything. One mistake that he couldn’t take back, couldn’t forget, and couldn’t make up for. Yes, you still loved him, but it was also so more than that. Something unhealthy and consuming. Your attachment to one another had grown so much over the years, that you both couldn’t imagine life without the other. It was impossible. So, you kept holding on no matter how unhappy it made you, and he had to live every waking moment hating himself. He did not want pity, but he wished this feeling would stop one day. Without your forgiveness he didn’t think it ever would.

The most selfish need of them all.

He was long used to looking at his reflection and not recognising the person in front of him. He wasn’t who he used to be. Not even just before the betrayal, but further than that. When you were both so young and in love. Naïve, but happy that way.

He wanted to be the boy you’d fallen in love with again so badly. For you. For him. But as each day passed, he understood it was impossible.

Tonight, he tried his best. If this was the night you’d finally had enough, finally gained the courage to let him go, then he would accept it. It would eat him whole, but he’d accept it. He just wanted to make everything perfect for the last time he got to hold you like this, and then he would leave if you requested it.

Parting was always the hardest during nights like these. When he had to slip from your warmth and lose the only way he felt attached to you anymore. It killed him. His mind whirred, agonising over whether you were going to end it right then and there. He kissed your mouth softly like he always did, but so deeply tonight, like he wanted to sink and get lost.

He waited for your reaction.

Some nights everything would be okay, and you would open your eyes and smile, wrapping your arms around him, hugging him to your body. Nights like those gave him a false hope. When he thought true forgiveness was coming. Reality hit him hard again the next day. Other nights you’d roll onto your side, shaking him off. Separating you both. Instant cold back again. Those nights made him hate himself even more. He could only imagine you felt the same way about yourself.

Tonight however, was something different entirely. He watched as your face contorted, expression crumbling before you wept. It stunned him for a moment, not having seen you cry this hard since he’d confessed, but quickly he took you in his arms, cradling you to his body as you sobbed. Tears pricked his own eyes as he kissed your head and shushed you. Words on the tip of his tongue that he hesitated to get out. Finally, he did.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Over and over again, like he was begging to make things right, begging to be heard. He would hold you all night if he had to, repeating the same apology until you fell to sleep.

He was scared. Head swarming with thoughts of the unknown.

This had not happened before. He prayed it was a good sign.

Only morning would tell.

Written 2019-20. Reworked/Edited 2021 Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#ave is right it's angst season #cries #jungkook fic #bts fic #jungkook angst #fic:decalcomania #floralseokjin:writings

2K notes · View notes

hunnyuwu · 4 years

Text

It Was Always You || Wayv Lucas

Premise: Lucas is back in town and you’re not too sure how your heart will manage...

Pairing: reader x idol! Lucas

Genre: fluff, more fluff, lots of fluff, and a little angst (?)

WC: a little under 2k

Warnings: cringe, like always ;)

~~~

Lucas walked further into the dimly lit den, curiously observing the sparks bouncing along the floor accompanied with the loud ring of power tools screwing small metallic parts in the undersides of large vehicles. The place reeked of sweat, gas, and new metals, causing Lucas to slightly cringe and the beautiful concoction of smells. He gripped the item behind his back a little harder, a large lump forming in his throat as he continued on his little adventure through the foreign territory.

“Look who we have here.”

Lucas’s eyes widened at the voice he yearned to hear for years now. He felt relief rush through his body as he looked around for the source of the sentence. The hairs at the nape of his neck stood up when he finally saw the person he came here for.

“Hey, Y/N.” He sighed out, not daring to take his eyes off your form for even a second as you approached him with that smile that made him go insane. A dumb smile pushed the corners of his lips to the ceiling as familiarity flooded his system.

“How has the pretty boy been?” You said calmly as you placed your hands on your hips.

“I’ve been fine.”

Lucas cursed to himself internally as he ‘unwillingly’ studied your body, like anyone would do, right. You displayed a white tank top with denim jeans. While it was simple, Lucas couldn’t help but admire you like a piece of artwork. He had to admit. You had grown quite nicely.

You sensed an awkward pause between the two of you, so pulled your goggles up to your forehead, wiping some black scum that resided on your hands on your jeans in addition.

“That’s good to hear! Anyways, how did you figure out that I work here?” You chuckled as you gestured to the logo on the wall, the logo of the automobile repair shop that you ended up working for after graduating from high school. You still didn’t know what you wanted to do with your future yet, so this was a good filler in the meantime.

“I visited your mom and dad earlier. And it wasn’t hard to assume that you would follow in the footsteps of your dad.” Lucas bit down a laugh as he watched you let out an embarrassed choke. You nodded understandingly, trying to look anywhere but him.

“Fair enough.”

While you wanted to look calm and collected in front of Yukhei, your heart was beating at a speed that would be illegal to drive in a car. You even felt your palms become sweaty as you tucked them neatly in the back pockets of your jeans.

Lucas had been your first love and your only love even now. It was a difficult period in your life, your best friend and massive crush had moved to South Korea to become a Kpop idol, which you were extremely supportive of, but you couldn’t help wallow in times when you noticed his obvious absence in your life. You missed him so much that it physically hurt at times.

It was odd seeing him back, those suppressed feelings that you withheld for the past few years crashed through the barriers over your heart like a tsunami.

“A-Anyways, nice jacket! Fits that whole playboy vibe you know?” You teased, causing him to lightly shove your shoulder with an eye roll, albeit with a large grin. You had to admit, though, that leather jacket that he was wearing hugged him nicely in all the right places, embodying the beautiful model boy that he was. You couldn’t help but eat him up like the eye candy that he was born to be.

“I’ve never been a playboy, and you know that, Y/N.”

“Sorry, the girls loved you, but you never liked admitting that did you. A little birdie even told me that you talked about your outstanding visuals on an interview, saying that no one liked you because you were too handsome.”

Lucas was already so done by your behavior, but he missed this interaction with you so much. He intently watched your cackling form, eyes screwed shut as you threw your head back. He made a resolution within himself, knowing what he had to do now.

“Y/N.”

You settled down a little bit, giving him your full attention once again. You flushed as you noticed his serious stare, hoping that he wasn’t upset by what you said. As you were formulating an apology in your head, Lucas beat you to the punch.

He brought out something that he kept hidden behind his back the whole time, effectively sucking out all the air in your lungs in one swift punch.

“I got these for you on my way here.” Lucas suddenly became infatuated with your work station as he outstretched the bouquet of flowers your way. You would usually tease him for this kind of behavior, but all you could do now was silently take the arrangement into your cradling arms. You quietly observed them for a moment, a pang squeezing your soft heart.

“Were the peonies a coincidence?” You whispered. Peonies were your absolute favorite.

Lucas gave you a semi-proud look, still retaining that shy side glance from earlier.

“No, you told me that you liked them on your birthday in 2015. I’ve been meaning to give you some for awhile now.” You felt extremely touched that he would even remember something so insignificant. You suddenly felt like such an awful friend in comparison.

“I couldn’t believe that you sent me those care packages when I was a trainee as well as when I officially debuted.”

Your eyes widened, “How did you know that was me? I sent those anonymously, I thought...”

Lucas smirked, bringing one of his large hands up to your hair to tuck a stray piece behind the shell of your ear, “You thought that you could send me those local Hong Kong snacks without me knowing that it was you immediately?”

You huffed, a pout forming on your lips, “It could have been someone from your family or something!”

“The amazing snacks that you and I used to eat when we had movie nights together? Give me a break, Y/N.” You couldn’t argue any further with his logic, so you just chose to hug the flower bouquet closer to your body as a coping mechanism.

“Anyways,” Lucas pulled away from you, immediately causing you to shiver at the lack of warmth that he surprisingly emitted when he was close to you, “I wanted to ask you something.”

Your pulse quickened with the elusive statement, wanting him to continue immediately.

“I’ve been thinking it over these years when I was away and I think it became more clear to me as time went on. I know this sounds irrational, and w-weird, and don’t be too grossed out but...”

“Just say it, Lucas.” You stated urgently, waiting long enough already.

“I-I... I think I like you more than as just friends and... I was thinking that maybe we could try to you know, date or something. B-Because after all this time I’ve realized that I can’t love anyone but you... You can obviously say no! I won’t take it personally or anything...” Lucas kept stuttering and mumbling, leaving you in a state of shock.

Thee Wong Yukhei liked you? The boy that girls and guys alike pined for all over the world? The Lucas of NCT and Wayv? The boy that was walking down runways as a model? The boy that you had been best friends with since you were walking in diapers? The boy you have loved for years?

Lucas kept mumbling odd words down at the floor, allowing you to carefully think over something that you had wished to do for so long now.

Without another thought, you launched yourself onto the poor boy who stumbled a little at the sudden lopsided weight distribution on him. Your lips crashed into his, allowing you to finally feel those lips that you had seen and admired for years of your life. You soon hoped that you wouldn’t regret these actions in a few moments.

You became wary as he hadn’t responded for a little while, but you physically relaxed as you felt his lips mold into yours, eventually reciprocating the motions of the kiss that you two had so long been waiting to happen. You melted, screwing your eyes shut as you wanted to fully experience what was happening.

You sighed, feeling like this moment was meant to happen, like it was destiny. Everything felt so right that it even hurt you due to the fact that this could have happened so long ago or never even happened if Lucas never approached you. You were just grateful that you were finally able to indulge in the feelings that you had sealed within yourself for years on end. Unfortunately, you knew this would hit some major roadblocks in the future, but you chose to stay present in the moment for now.

Lucas, basically on the same boat, felt like he could soar to the moon any second. The liberating feeling that he felt against your lips finally sealed the deal that his feelings were definite and true, something that he denied himself for years. He didn’t know what the future held for the two of you, him being a Kpop idol in a whole separate country from you will certainly pose problems, but at this point, Lucas knew that he would make it work. He knew that it would work because it was you, the person he holds dearest to his heart. (next to his family of course)

He would make anything work if it came to you.

The two of you were so desperate for one another that your prolonged kiss had practically sucked all oxygen supply you two had, but you kept going like your lifelines depended on it.

“Can you two kids take this outside or something?”

You two practically threw yourselves as far away from one another as possible at the new voice intruding the area. You paled, wishing it wasn’t this voice in particular.

“I-i’m so sorry, Sir!” You bowed, hoping that you wouldn't get fired on the spot.

“Yeah, yeah. Young love, I get it. You can take off early tonight, Y/N.” He waved you off, leaving the premise before you could even utter a peep.

“What a nice boss.”

“Oh shut it, Yukhei.”

“No, seriously. That means I can take you over to my place, like right now.”

“And what’s that implying, Mr. Wong?”

“You will see when we get there.” Lucas winked, sending your heart into a fluttering, messy frenzy.

“Y-Yukhei! You pervy little sh*t!”

~ ~ ~

This was cringe as heck I’m sorry that you read this!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was high key inspired by this one picTURE HELP

63 notes · View notes

blurry-fics · 5 years

Text

Chapter Twenty

Prove Me Wrong | Series Masterlist

Warnings: The tiniest bit of angst

Word Count: 1883

Author’s Note: Would you believe me if I said this was the last Tyler chapter of this book? This series has gone by wayyyyy faster than I expected it to! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Today was the day.

I rinsed the last bit of shampoo out of my hair before shutting off the water. It would be awhile before I got to shower in the comfort of my own apartment again. I would miss the consistent water pressure and ability to shower for as long as I pleased. Tour wouldn’t have the same luxuries.

Not wanting to waste any time, I dried myself off and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and the shirt I had worn to bed. I wanted to spend as much time relaxing this morning as I could before the afternoon was spent running around making last minute preparations. There were still a million things that I needed to pack, but that could wait until after breakfast.

The coffee pot hissed while I cooked up some eggs for myself. Over the last few days, I had been trying to use as much of the perishable food in my fridge as I could before I had to toss all of it. The last thing I wanted was to come back from tour to a fridge that reeked of spoiled food. That wouldn’t be fun.

I wondered what Y/N was up to as I cooked my eggs. Her classes would be starting again in just a few more days, and I knew she had been really enjoying her break from constant studying and going to class. I wished that I could stay for the rest of it, but our label had been insistent on leaving as soon as we possibly could.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone calling me. With my free hand, I picked up my phone and and held it to my ear while continuing to stir up my eggs with the other.

“Hello?”

“Hey, man,” Josh said. “I just had a quick question for you and calling is easier than texting.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

It turned out that Josh’s “question” was more like twenty. He was asking about everything under the sun, from how many shirts he should bring to what equipment he had to be in charge of. By the time that he finally finished the interrogation, I had finished cooking my eggs and made it halfway through my first mug of coffee.

“Alright, thanks, Tyler.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said before shoveling more eggs into my mouth.

“I’ll see you in a couple hours?”

“Sounds good.”

Josh ended the phone call and I tossed my phone down onto the couch. It bounced along the cushions for a moment before landing face down next to my leg.

I thought about calling Y/N for a moment, just to distract me for awhile, but ultimately decided against it. She was probably busy - or asleep - and it was better not to bother her. There would be plenty of time to get on her nerves with phone calls while I was on the road.

Far away from Ohio.

The idea of it still put an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, even though the reality of the situation hadn’t really set in. There was still a good chance that it wouldn’t be as bad as I was expecting it to be, right?

Maybe it would even help me finally get over my feelings for Y/N. Or finally give me the confidence to tell her.

Now that was an interesting thought.

I had come so close to telling her again last night. Everything had just felt so natural with her wearing my sweatshirt and laying on my chest, like that’s where we were meant to be all along. She had probably been able to hear my heart pounding in my chest while I debated if I wanted to tell her or not.

But no, instead I just told her that I would miss her. At least I knew that she was going to miss me too.

I shook my head in an attempt to get the thoughts to leave it. Today was supposed to be about leaving for tour, not ruminating on what could have been. With a sigh, I took another large bite of eggs and washed it down with a gulp of coffee.

My phone buzzed.

Y/N: I don’t know exactly when you leave, but have fun today! I’m going to miss you lots and can’t wait to see you when you get back :)

The text made me smile.

Tyler: Still have a couple hours, but of course I left everything until the last minute :P going to be a packing tornado until everyone gets here

I quickly finished my eggs as I waited for her response. Knowing my tendency to get distracted, I was going to need as much time as possible to pack up and clean my apartment.

Y/N: Don’t forget to take care of yourself! Anyway, I don’t want to distract you. Just let me know when you leave, please :)

Tyler: Will do :)

I quickly cleaned off my dishes and left them out to dry for now. There were two hours until everyone got here and an endless list of things to finish before we left.

The countdown started now.

* * *

It felt like I was being pulled in twenty different directions: trying to finish packing up the apartment, coordinating with all the crew members, and carrying everything downstairs. If I didn’t calm down soon, I knew I was going to forget something vital.

“Shoes? On feet. Music folder? Backpack. Ukulele? By the door,” I murmured, all the while trying to take a few deep breaths.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the packing list that Y/N had helped me make a few days ago. Most of the stuff was already packed up in the van, but I was doing one last sweep of my apartment before we left, just to make sure that nothing was left behind.

There was a knock on my door, pulling my attention away from the list. It was probably one of the crew members.

“Come on in!” I called.

The door swung open, revealing Josh standing on the other side. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

“I just got here,” he said. “How are things going?”

I glanced around the room, “They’re going.”

“Do you need help with anything?”

“No, I think I have everything handled.”

Josh walked over and hopped up on the counter next to my packing list. He pulled it a little closer to him and looked it over.

“Did Y/N help you make this?”

“What gave it away?” I laughed.

“I’ve read your handwriting enough times to know that this isn’t it.”

“I wouldn’t have had anything except for musical instruments if it wasn’t for her. Half of the stuff on that list was her idea.”

Josh nodded and slid the paper back to where it had been sitting. I wandered over to the couch and began to wrap up some loose cords that were hanging over the back of it.

“How are you feeling?” Josh asked.

“I’m doing alright. Still trying to wrap my head around this whole not-being-in-Ohio-for-three-months things that we have going on, but it will sink in soon enough.”

“Yeah, as soon as we’re out of Ohio,” he laughed.

“Exactly.”

“What about Y/N?”

“What about her?” I asked, turning to look at Josh.

“Are you going to miss her?”

“Of course I’m going to miss her. She’s my best friend.” Josh shot me a look. “Alright, the thought of leaving her almost made me bail on this whole tour thing but if I let myself think about it, it’s only going to hurt worse in the end.”

“That’s more like it.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” I said sarcastically.

“How is she handling it?”

“Fine, I guess. She was really positive yesterday, but I’m guessing that was just a front for how she was really feeling. My guess is that she’s doing about how I am.”

“Are you going to see her again before we leave?”

“No. Yesterday was our last day together.”

“Did you tell her how you feel?”

“No.”

“Ty, come on, man!”

“Listen, I wanted to tell her. It was just - I didn’t want to tell her and then leave for three months. That isn’t fair.”

Josh raised his eyebrows, “It sounds like you’re just making excuses.”

“It’s more complicated than that. Can we just drop this?”

“Fine. Sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s fine,” I sighed. “Want to help me carry this stuff downstairs?”

“Sure.”

Josh and I made a couple trips between my apartment and the van out in the parking lot. My legs were protesting more and more with each time that I went up and down the stairs, meanwhile Josh seemed to be having no issues going back and forth.

“Is that everything?” he asked as we arrived upstairs for what felt like the millionth time.

“I think so.”

“Ok, I’m going to head downstairs and see what they need help with.”

“I’ll meet you down there. I just need a few more minutes.”

Josh gave me a pat on the shoulder before walking out the front door. I wandered over to the couch and sat down on it, kicking my feet up onto the coffee table. It felt so empty in here, now that most of my favorite possessions were gone. The corner looked too empty without my keyboard in it.

The plants that I had tasked Y/N with taking care of were still sitting by the window. She had told me that she was going to pick them up tomorrow on her way home from running errands with her brother. I wondered what she would think of the empty apartment. It hardly even felt like my apartment anymore.

“Hey, Tyler!” someone called from the other side of my door. It wasn’t Josh.

“Yeah?”

“We need to get out of here in ten minutes.”

“Ok, I’ll be down soon.”

There was no point in wallowing alone in my empty apartment, so I stood up and did one final walk around, just to make sure everything was how I liked it. Once I was happy with how it looked, I grabbed my keys from the counter and walked out into the hallway. I double checked that the door was locked - not that it really mattered since Y/N would be over tomorrow - took one final look at the door, and went down the stairs.

“There he is,” one of the crew members said as I joined the small crowd that had gathered in the parking lot. “Let’s do one final check of everything and get out of here.”

Josh walked over to where I was standing and resting a hand on my shoulder, “Still doing ok?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

He nodded. I forced a smile.

“It’s going to be ok, Tyler. All of it.”

“I know. Tour is just a whole new concept to me and I’m not quite sure how to handle it.”

“It’s only three months,” he reassured me. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Josh raised his eyebrows as I turned to look at him. My stomach was twisting uncomfortably, although I wasn’t quite sure if it was excitement or nerves at this point.

“I just hope things haven’t changed by the time we get back.”

* * * * *

Taglist

@faceofcontvsions @ohprettyweeper @spookyjiimfanfiction @addictoftwentyone @svintsandghosts @gaiatheroyalrabbit @iamnotawasteofspace @patdsinner33 @merandlune @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @schrodingersjustine @ccfffee @frappeitea @gayy-pilotss @coolcxt @donttellaweirdweakling @a-stumpsexuals-world @5secondsofmoxley @breadbinishigh @summer-wasteland @topownsmyheart @wearebxnditos @littlerachelbee

49 notes · View notes

cosmic-hearts · 5 years

Text

fortune cookie | kim seungmin

kim seungmin x reader - best friends to lovers! au genres; fluff, romance, slight angst warnings; mentions of drinking and alcohol

You will find love soon.

You blink at the small slip of paper in your hands, thinking that out of all the fortune cookie messages you could have received, this had to be the most ironic one.

There was no way you’d be finding love anytime soon.

Not after your boyfriend having just recently mysteriously dumped you with no explanation through a crummy text, no less.

Snorting, you crush the paper into your pocket.

“What did you get?” Your long-suffering best friend, Seungmin, asks.

“Absolute bullshit,” you reply, grabbing the bucket of popcorn from him and stuffing a large fistful into your mouth.

He screeches. “Give that back! I made it myself—,”

“Fortune cookies are so stupid. They’re literally never accurate,” you continue ranting, and Seungmin knows that deep down you’re just bitter about the unfortunate chain of events that led to you lying on his couch, sobbing over sappy romcoms and stealing homemade popcorn from him. He’d bought the packet of darned cookies from a bakery, hoping to cheer you up with a good prediction about your fortune, but it seems like it’s got you even more sulky.

“It’s been a week of lying around and doing literally nothing. It’s time to get back on your feet, find a new boyfriend. Or just stay single. Simple as that.”

You glare at him and he raises his hands in defeat. “Fine. Continue to wallow in self-pity. Rot on my couch. Waste away into oblivion.” Seungmin had never been a very comforting friend— he was more of the kind who just forced you to get on with life. When you first showed up crying on his doorstep after your breakup, he unsympathetically responded with a “Hmm. Okay. And?”, completely unimpressed. But he did proceed to let you snuggle with him on his couch, hugging you close to him and rewatching Frozen with you, occasionally telling you to just ‘let it go’. You were grateful, since on a normal day Seungmin would literally kick you if you tried to hug him. Definitely not one for skinship, he wasn’t. Though he looked all cute and cuddly on the outside, which was the reason why you wanted to befriend him in the first place when you two first met, he was nothing like it once you got to know him. He was more like the spawn of satan. You felt cheated for sure.

But apart from him continually refusing to respond to your constant advances of affection and mocking your inability to function without at least two coffees a day, he’s been a steadfast, reliable friend who hauls your drunk ass home after parties, tucks you in bed and even comes early the next morning to make hangover soup for you.

If you were being completely honest with yourself, you did wonder, more than once, whether Seungmin had feelings for you. But then he makes some stupid remark about your hair looking like a bird’s nest and you brush aside any possibility of him having more-than-platonic feelings for you. Anyway, he often declared that his ideal type was someone who ‘had their shit together and ain’t a hot mess like you’, so you could confirm that he definitely didn’t see you in a romantic light.

“Anyway, you’re gonna need to clear off tonight,” Seungmin says while clearing his throat awkwardly, looking away from you, as though he was hoping you wouldn’t hear him.

“Why? The guys coming over?”

“Um, no, actually. My chem lab partner Eunji’s coming over tonight to work on a project.”

“Shin Eunji?” Your eyebrows furrow slightly. You had never really interacted with her, but you did catch her glaring at you on more than one occasion when she thought you weren’t looking. What you ever did to offend her, you had no idea.

“Um. Yeah. That’s her,” Seungmin confirms, disposition reeking with discomfort, and that’s when you notice the tips of his ears glowing bright red.

“Why do you look like a five-year-old with a kindergarten crush? Do you like her or something?”

Seungmin doesn’t reply with his usual snarky retort, which simply confirms your suspicions.

“No way, my little Seungminie has a crush on someone! You haven’t had a crush on someone for like, ever. Now I can tell Hyunjin that you’re taken so he’ll stop asking me to set you up with him.”

“I’m not taken. I don’t even know if she likes me,” Seungmin murmurs unconfidently, staring down at his palms.

You roll your eyes, grab his face and squish his cheeks in your palms. “Kim Seungmin, you’re smart, you get good grades, you’re not a thirsty hormonal wreck like most of the other guys on campus, and when you’re not being a rude annoying jackass to me, you can be what some girls like to call ‘cute’. What girl wouldn’t want to date you? If she doesn’t like you she must be blind.”

“Would you want to date me then?” He asks suddenly, countenance serious.

You almost choke on a popcorn kernel. “The heck dude?”

“You said that all girls would want to date me. That includes you.”

You blink at him, taken aback by how forward he’s being. “T-That’s different. I’m not… well, the day I decide to date you would be the day I’ve gone off my rocker for real. I mean, can you imagine us dating? Absolutely ridiculous,” you say, finishing off with an awkward chuckle, wondering why Seungmin’s being so serious. He’s staring straight at you intensely, clearly not joking.

“Okay, then get off my couch,” he says, and you feel relieved that he’s back to being his savage self, but at the same time a teeny bit peeved that he dropped the subject so quickly. “And get your sports bra off my floor before you leave. I don’t want Eunji to get any ideas.”

Back at home, you wonder if Seungmin really likes Eunji.

Seungmin wasn’t the type to have crushes easily. In fact, it had been so long since he’d last liked someone that you were beginning to think perhaps he was asexual.

You wonder what’s so special about her. Sure, she was pretty, but so were a ton of other girls on campus. As Seungmin likes to say, “Not everyone had bad luck on the genetic lottery like you.” He was affectionate like that.

Though you hated to admit it, you wanted only the best for Seungmin.

And though you hated to admit it, you were scared.

It’d been so long since he’d expressed interest in someone that you were so used to having him around all the time. You were so used to having him all to yourself, as he didn’t have a girlfriend to commit to, and his friends liked you just as much as they liked him (perhaps even more so) so they didn’t mind you joining their hangouts.

But now, perhaps you’d have to start sharing him with someone else who didn’t seem to like you at all.

Your fears come true.

Seungmin starts hanging out with you less and less, and even cancels plans with you. When you ask him if he’s really dating Eunji, he won’t give you a straight answer.

It gets so bad to the point that he takes several hours to reply to your texts, and sometimes he doesn’t even reply.

At school when you gravitate towards him for your usual lunch dates he says that he’s busy working on some lab project and won’t be able to eat lunch with you anymore. You know it’s bull. Seungmin can’t lie to save his life.

He’s surprisingly good at avoiding you. You tried several times to confront him and ask him what the hell is going on but you either can’t find him or he slips away before you can even approach him. A game of chase would seem rather unsightly and inappropriate in the school compound full of watchful, judgemental teenage eyes, and would do nothing for your dignity. So you give up.

His friends aren’t any help either. When you ask Felix what is up with Seungmin, he has the audacity to say that Seungmin’s hamster died. Like Seungmin had a hamster. Jisung bolts every time you try to approach him, and Hyunjin makes up some slippery excuse about Seungmin maybe being a wolf who’s going into heat. You wonder why you bothered asking them in the first place. Though they’ve nothing but nice to you, they were still Seungmin’s friends and ultimately loyal to him.

Sighing, you walk back home in darkness of the night. Usually Seungmin would be there to accompany you, chiding you all the way for staying out so late, and warning you never to walk back home alone without him. You’d thought him annoying then, but the sweetness of the gesture begins to sink in and you realize just how much you miss your best friend.

“Hey!”

You turn around, hoping that it’s Seungmin. Maybe he had come to walk you home after all.

But then you catch sight of the person’s face in the darkness.

“Wooyoung?”

You stand frozen as your ex-boyfriend makes his way towards you, a sheepish yet slightly hopeful smile on his face. You hadn’t forgotten the ruthless way in which he broke up with you, and you give him the most piercing look you can muster. “What. Do. You. Want.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve been thinking about it, and… I realized it’s not fair to you to just suddenly end things with no explanation. I need to tell you why I broke up with you.”

“Go on,” you say, trying not to let your curiosity show.

“I was cheating on you.”

A week ago, this sentence would have turned you into a sobbing wreck. But now it comes more of a surprise than a nasty shock, and you simply lift your eyebrows. “Well, isn’t that nice to hear.”

“I-I… I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so stupid-- I wasn’t thinking straight. It was only after your friend Seungmin gave me a piece of his mind that I came to my senses--,” You cut him off. “Wait, Seungmin? What does Seungmin have to do with this?”

“He told me— well, more like demanded me— to give you a proper explanation as to why I broke up with you. No offence, but I never expected a guy as… scrawny as him to be able to pack such a punch.”

Your eyes widen. “He punched you?”

“Yeah. Right smack in the jaw, no less.”

You can’t believe this new tidbit of information. Seungmin was never the violent type, preferring to solve conflicts through calm reasoning and logical argumentation. He certainly isn’t the type to act on impulse either. You tried to imagine level-headed, mild-mannered Seungmin punching Wooyoung. It just doesn’t click.

A new question pops up in your head. “Who were you cheating on me with?”

Wooyoung takes a deep breath and averts his gaze from yours. “Again, I’m really sorry, it was a mistake, does it really matter who she was?”

“Yes, it does. The least you can do is tell me who the lucky girl was,” you fire back, rolling your eyes.

“Fine, fine. It’s Shin Eunji.”

Right at that moment you catch sight of a couple coming to sit on a nearby park bench. The boy’s arm is slung over the girl’s shoulder, and she leans in to peck him on the cheek. Wooyoung suddenly gasps and grabs you by the hand to duck behind a nearby branch.

“What are you doing?” You angrily demand.

“It’s Eunji! Who is she with?” Wooyoung urgently asks.

“Wow, it seems like you care about her a lot—,”

“No, I don’t care about her, but look. Isn’t that Seungmin?” His voice has dropped to a low whisper.

You squint, cursing your myopia. Yet his silhouette is unmistakable.

A jolt shocks through your heart. It is Seungmin. That familiar crown of chocolate brown hair, the watch on his wrist that you gave him for his seventeenth birthday. He never went anywhere without it.

Feeling your vision go blurry with tears, you stand up and Wooyoung grabs your hand roughly, jerking you back down. The rustle of the bushes causes Seungmin to turn his head to check what all the commotion is about.

He sees you standing right there, Wooyoung next to you. He sees your cloudy eyes, the way your shoulders begin to shake every time you’re about to cry.

He sees you run off into the night, Wooyoung calling after you.

He sees it all, and it crushes him.

Unfortunately, you do turn into a sobbing wreck after all.

You can’t figure out which is worse; discovering that your ex cheated on you with the girl your best friend is currently dating, or your best friend acting all heroic by punching your ex and then proceeding to hit it up with the very girl your ex cheated with. Maybe it’s a little bit of everything.

If Seungmin saw the mess you were in now, he would shake his head, call you a lazy slob, and set to work cooking you a decent meal.

Except that Seungmin isn’t here anymore. He’s not here to nag you, chide you, force you back on your feet. He has someone else to do all that for now.

As if the universe thinks that these blows aren’t enough, the doorbell rings, the harsh, jarring sound startling you from your hazy daze of confusion and self-pity. You curse whoever’s at the door, grab a baseball bat just in case it’s Wooyoung, and drag yourself out of bed.

You open the door, revealing a distressed-looking Hyunjin. But he isn’t alone.

Your heart contracts when you see Seungmin under his arm, eyes half-lidded, clearly unable to stand, reeking badly of alcohol.

“What the— is he drunk?” You almost laugh at the sight of an inebriated Seungmin— studious, diligent Seungmin who prided himself on the fact that he doesn’t drink at gatherings and goes to bed at exactly 10pm— drunk. Knocked out completely.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin says. “Sorry about this. We would have dropped him off at home but he wouldn’t stop calling for you. He threatened to throw up in Chan’s car if we drove him home. Naturally, Chan had a fit and detoured right back here. Says that if you’ll be a dear and take him in for the night he’ll do whatever you ask. Sorry. You know how anal Chan gets about his car.” Then Hyunjin lifts his eyebrows, shrugs and looks at Seungmin in a way that seems to say, And anyway Seungmin’s your best friend. So you get full responsibility of taking care of his drunk ass.

You sigh in resignation and Hyunjin takes that a his cue to hand Seungmin over to you. You grab Seungmin by the arms and gently sit him down on the ground while saying goodbye to Hyunjin.

After all, Seungmin did take care of you while you were drunk, when you two were still best friends. You owe it to him to do the same for him at least once, even if he hasn’t been a good best friend lately.

You drag him to the couch, taking off his socks and helping him lie down. There’s no way you’d help him wash up or whatever, so you just grab a nearby blanket and place it over him. Then you get up, ready to retire to your room.

But then you hear a sleepy voice calling your name.

“Don’t go,” Seungmin says with a drunken slur, his hand creeping up to tug at the bottom of your shirt. He looks like he’s having a lot of trouble staying awake.

“You should sleep,” you say flatly, yet making no move to leave. This was the first time Seungmin had called for you in weeks. Not to mention that the way he’s clinging onto you, lips pouty and eyes half-opened like a downcast puppy, makes you want to gather him up in your arms and shower him with cuddles.

“Sleep with me,” he says, holding out his arms like a child begging for a hug. Your heart melts, relishing the sight of a drunk, clingy Seungmin. If you weren’t aching with the prospect of his betrayal, you would have given in immediately.

“No. Go to sleep, Seungmin,” you say firmly.

He pouts. “Are you angry with me?”

You sigh, having neither the mood nor the energy for confrontation now. “We can talk tomorrow morning, Seungmin. Just go to sleep.”

Suddenly, Seungmin grabs your wrist and yanks you down so that you’re lying on top of him on the sofa. He then moves so that you’re nestled by his side, before proceeding to wrap his arms around your waist and bury his face in your hair.

“Hmm… I missed you so much,” Seungmin says, and you can’t help but note that the lazy slur is gone from his voice. You mumble into his chest, “Are you really drunk?”

He simply pulls you closer in response, as if afraid that you’ll leave if he says that he isn’t drunk. “I don’t know, am I?”

“Well, I mean, you’re hugging me right now. I’d say that’s a definite sign of intoxication, considering how you always threaten to kick me if I hug you. But you’re not slurring anymore, which is weird—,”

“Stop rambling. It’s cute, but stop.”

“If it’s cute, then why should I stop? And who are you tell me what—,”

“If you keep on being so cute I might kiss you.”

You stop talking then, as the weight of his words dawn on you.

Kim Seungmin just threatened to kiss you.

“Do you not want me to kiss you that badly?” Seungmin asks quietly.

You look up at him then, only to see him staring down at you with a ferocity that wouldn’t have been possible with inebriation. Kim Seungmin, the cunning trickster. He never was drunk.

“Seungmin… what is going on?”

Seungmin sighs and runs a hand through your hair, his other hand caressing your cheek softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Done what?”

“Fallen in love with you.”

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know how to feel. His confession doesn’t fill you with the heart-fluttering excitement you’d anticipated, but instead dark moths of confusion flit around in the pit of your stomach.

“But you’re dating Shin Eunji. The same girl my ex cheated on me with. You can’t just betray me like that and then say you’ve fallen in love with me, Kim Seungmin. It’s not fair. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I broke up with her. I never liked her,” Seungmin says softly, “I only dated her to try and get her off Wooyoung’s back. Then maybe… maybe he’d go back to you and you’d be happy again,” Seungmin says uncertainly, as if finally realizing the stupidity of his actions.

You can’t believe your ears. You don’t know whether you should chastise Seungmin for his idiocy or feel touched that he’d sacrificed his happiness for yours. You sit up on the couch and he does the same.

“I know you wouldn’t be happy with me. So what if I liked you? You’d never like me back.”

“How would you know?”

“Would you want to date me then?” He asks suddenly, countenance serious.

You almost choke on a popcorn kernel. “The heck dude?”

“You said that all girls would want to date me. That includes you.”

“God, Seungmin, how was I supposed to know that you liked me? You kept saying I was miles away from your ideal type!”

“So you like me then?”

“I don’t know, all I know is that I never thought you could be so incredibly stupid— for god’s sake, Seungmin, if you liked me you could have just said it and saved us all of this bullshit—,”

That is when Seungmin kisses you, and he tastes of beer and hesitance, he tastes bittersweet. He pulls away quickly, and it shuts you up completely.

“I said I’d kiss you if you continued rambling.”

But when he sees how stunned you are, the flush in your cheeks and the shock in your eyes, guilt settles within him. “Shit, that was a mistake, I’m so sorry—,”

“K-Kiss me again.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t a mistake. Kiss me again.”

Something changes in Seungmin’s eyes. Swallowing the rest of his inhibitions down his throat, he places a careful hand on the back of your neck, drawing you closer to him. Angling his head slightly, he gently presses his lips to yours for only a few seconds, yet those few seconds stretch out into what feels like an eternity to you. This time, the only thing you notice are that his lips are soft and warm, and you feel a certain sweetness erupting within your taste buds.

Then he pulls away, his hot breath hitting your lips.

“So I heard you punched Wooyoung.” Seungmin groans. “Why did you have to ruin the moment?”

“Thank you. For standing up for me,” you say sincerely, leaning forward to give him a peck on the lips, before continuing, “Maybe fortune cookies aren’t absolute bullshit after all.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I said you’re an idiot. And I’ve finally gone off my rocker. Now go to sleep.”

Seungmin happily hugs you close to him, his eyes fluttering shut, relishing the feeling of having you by his side. He’d tried to reject skinship from you for the longest time, thinking that maybe it would help him forget his feelings for you, but it merely fuelled his longing to hold you in his arms. You snuggle closer to him, burying your face in his chest as you bask in his tender warmth.

It’s the fortune cookie, you think to yourself, drifting off to sleep as he holds you tightly in his arms, heart full with the knowledge that his feelings are finally being reciprocated.

a/n; hi there! i managed to upload the full story in one post so there you go! i’ll delete the first two parts soon :)

#kim seungmin fanfiction #stray kids fanfiction #kim seungmin #kim seungmin fanfic #stray kids #angst #fluff #romance #stray kids fanfic

90 notes · View notes