Call This My Funeral
For Dick Grayson Week, Day 1: Dick's Undervalued Competency
@dickgraysonweek
Summary: Sometimes, Dick remembers how it felt to kill the Joker and wishes that monster had stayed dead. After Blockbuster, he knows that his hands are already bloody. He should be brought to justice, and, well, he might as well go out with a bang.
Or: Dick breaks into Arkham to kill the Joker. He won't let anyone stop him—not some measly defense systems, not his baby brother, and not this mercenary who seems to be trying to break the Joker out.
Characters: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, The Joker
Warnings: Borderline suicidal thoughts, murder, non-consensual drug use, very vague allusions to canon rape
Nightwing is dead.
It’s the truth of it, even if the world has yet to catch up. Nightwing is dead. He died the second that bullet entered Blockbuster’s skull and then he was buried on a rooftop in the rain.
It takes a while to come to terms with it. He thinks about trying to stop Deathstroke, but every time he stares at his Nightwing suit, he just…can’t. He killed a man. He killed a man. And maybe, if he stopped immediately afterwards, maybe he could have put the suit back on. But he had stayed Nightwing. He had fought villains with Tarantula and returned to Gotham and pretended, and then he’d gone undercover with the mob. And somewhere along the line, the illusion broke, snapped, shattered into a million pieces that dug deep into his skin. When it came time to put on his suit, he couldn’t manage it. He stared at it. Ran his hand over the Kevlar. Held it up to the light, but all he could see was blood.
So he pulls out of the operation. It’s a slow process, and he ends up having to plant evidence and set Black Mask up, but he does it. It won’t hold for long, will only put Mask out of the running briefly. But it’s enough that Dick is able to leave without anyone the wiser.
Dick rents an apartment. His lease is for one month. He thinks about signing another lease at the end of the month and he feels sick. Nightwing is dead, and Dick Grayson is empty.
He should be in jail. If he was in jail, if he served his time…at least that would be justice. Even if Dick can’t take it back, at least that would be right. The proper consequences. But Amy wouldn’t allow him his atonement.
Dick runs that series of thoughts in his mind over and over again, as he lies in and stares up at the moldy ceiling, listening to the sound of the rain outside. He wishes he could set things right. He should be in jail. He tried to put himself in jail, and it didn’t work.
He could frame himself. It’s not like it would be difficult. Dick is a murderer already; all he has to do is make sure others see his true face. Find a body someone dumped somewhere, make sure his fingerprints are on a conveniently-placed weapon with a record of his purchase, and then call 911 with a voice modulator describing himself as the attacker fleeing from the scene of the crime. There are more sophisticated methods, of course. Any would do.
But Bruce…Bruce wouldn’t accept it. Bruce would know that Dick wouldn’t just go out and kill someone randomly, even after Blockbuster. Bruce would at least know that Dick wouldn’t be that sloppy, if he did decide to commit murder. He’d find a way to prove Dick’s innocence.
So then how can Dick do it? How can he make the world see him for what he really is? How can he show them once and for all that Dick Grayson is dirty, despicable, poisonous?
Really, it’s a wonder he didn’t notice earlier how everyone in his life seems to suffer. He corrupts everyone around him. Hell, if he hadn’t left, Jason never would have died in his colors and Bruce never would have had to grieve his son. It’s a wonder he hasn’t managed to destroy Tim yet.
And Dick had known what he was capable of. He can still feel the sting on his knuckles as he beat the Joker again and again until the laugh was frozen on his face and his heart. Stopped.
Sometimes, Dick wishes that the Joker had stayed dead.
Of course, there’s something he could do about it.
Dick shudders, but he can’t push the thought out of his head. He’s a murderer. His soul is already dirty, his hands are already drenched in blood. Bats don’t kill, but he’s not a Bat, not anymore.
If there’s one last thing Dick does as a nominally free man, it can be this. He can put an end to all the suffering and pain the Joker has caused and bring himself to justice. Dick won’t pretend that it’s right. But he’s already wrong, and he can’t betray what he’s already broken.
Dick watches as his roof cries thick drops of acid rain and decides that the Joker will die.
---
The thing is, Dick knows he could get away with it. He’s been hunting criminals for almost two decades; he knows how to commit the perfect crime. He could hide the evidence, make sure the Joker’s body was never found, frame someone else, anything he wants. Bruce might be suspicious, but Dick thinks he wouldn’t be. And he certainly wouldn’t be able to prove it.
If Dick didn’t want to hide from Bruce, he could set up a situation where killing the Joker would be considered self-defense. Right place, right time, a registered firearm, and no jury in Gotham would convict him. He probably wouldn’t even be charged. He could go back to the Blüdhaven Police Department, draw the Joker there, and kill him in uniform. Amy would give him back his badge, if he tells her that he quit Nightwing—she already tried that with Blockbuster and he hadn’t even quit then. It would be easy enough to draw the Joker to Blüdhaven. Easy enough to find him on a raid. Internal affairs wouldn’t bat an eye.
Hell, if Dick promised to draw the Joker out of Gotham, Deathstroke would take care of him easily. He’d probably be thrilled that Dick is going down this path.
It would be so easy to get away with it.
But he won’t.
Dick Grayson will kill the Joker in cold blood. He will confess and take the first plea deal offered. And then he will go to Blackgate. He’s not stupid enough to think that he’ll survive there, as a former police officer and the former ward of Bruce Wayne. Justice will be served. Dick won’t poison anyone else, and the Joker won’t destroy his family again. A parting gift, if you will.
It takes Dick only a few days to plan the operation. Arkham has improved, but it still remains disturbingly reminiscent of a cardboard box, given how frequently its inmates escape.
Dick feels his stomach turn as he pulls out his suit. He feels like he swallowed something slimy, and it squirms around in his stomach. He doesn’t ever want to see this suit again. Just a little longer, he tells himself. He brings the suit to an abandoned warehouse, treats it with some chemicals, and burns it.
It should feel horrible. Dick created Nightwing. Nightwing is his. It should feel like burning a piece of himself.
Instead, it’s liberating. As Dick watches the flames eat away at Nightwing, all that’s there is relief. Dick hates it, with the blue bird spread across its chest like some sort of symbol. Like he’s worthy. He’s so glad it’s gone. Dick has never been anything close to worthy.
He returns to his apartment. The stairs creak on the way up. He eats his last can of soup cold. Dick drifts off to sleep and awakens with phantom gunfire ringing in his ears.
---
Everything is in order. Nightwing is gone, with no evidence left to trace Dick to the vigilante, and thus nothing to connect Bruce to Batman. Dick hasn’t had contact with Bruce for long enough that he doesn’t think Bruce will have to deal with anything more than a brief police interview. This will be on Dick, and Dick alone.
Dick needs to make sure that the way he breaks in doesn’t imply that he’s Bat-trained. He can get away with a reasonable display of skill, as a former BPD officer and a former world-class acrobat, but nothing that indicates access to other resources.
Dick’s plan is divided into three segments: enter Arkham, reach the Joker, and kill the Joker.
Part One is relatively easy. Gotham city’s government is corrupt enough that it leaks like a colander, and it’s easy enough to find a full map of the sewers. If you know the right places to look, it doesn’t take any more than an SQL injection for login information, a homemade browser plugin, and a couple URL guesses. It’s an unnecessarily complicated method, too clunky for a Bat to ever consider, but Dick isn’t a Bat anymore.
He leaves the public library, resisting the urge to wave at the cameras, and takes the subway to the edge of central Gotham. Dick enters the sewers as close as he can get to Arkham Island. It smells absolutely foul, even with the cheap Wayne Enterprises rebreather he has over the bottom half of his face, but he’s smelled far worse than Gotham City’s waste.
Dick moves as quickly as possible, disabling all of the sensors that were marked in the sewer plans and checking for extras every few feet. It takes an hour, but he eventually reaches his destination. Dick takes the time to slowly disable the alarms on the manhole cover and climbs out under the grey sky.
From here, it gets more difficult. If Dick had his grappling gun, he could scale the building easily. Unfortunately, all he has is a regular gun. That’s why he disabled the alarms; he’s going to need time.
Arkham Asylum is old building, and the wear and tear on its stones is just enough to let Dick inch up its walls in one of the cameras’ few blind spots. It’s slow-going. If he falls, Dick knows that there will be nothing below to catch him, and he can’t die before he finishes this. Hand over hand, he balances on the tiniest of footholds. The wind whips at his hair and the cold bites at his ungloved fingers. He thinks it would have been easier to bribe a guard, but there was no guarantee they wouldn’t have just turned him in for a reward. He isn’t a Rogue. He isn’t frightening. No one knows how poisonous Dick Grayson truly is.
He doesn’t enter through the first window he reaches. Dick knows that he’s no match for bulletproof glass and steel bars. So he keeps climbing. Up, up, up. The grey sky grows darker and darker as night draws near. His fingers are turning numb. He climbs.
When Dick reaches the rooftop, he knows that he’ll register on the cameras. It’s unavoidable. But from here, he doesn’t need much in the way of time. He throws himself onto the roof and clocks the single guard in the face before she even has a chance to react. She falls unconscious and Dick catches her before she hits the rooftop. No need to cause further damage.
He takes her walkie-talkie, and reports that a figure in an orange jumpsuit was seen fleeing towards the bridge. There’s enough turnover at Arkham Asylum that no one questions the difference in voice. No one knows who’s supposed to be where, and that works well enough for Dick.
It’s easy to find the guard’s keycard and the small note tucked into her pocket with the code to the door. There are too many codes at Arkham for most people to memorize, and it’s been a safety consideration that Bruce has been working on. Apparently, he hasn’t found a solution yet.
Taking a deep breath, Dick enters the Asylum. He’s probably going to be noticed soon, even with the distraction, but he’s able to get into the elevator, swipe the keycard, and then override the protections to go straight to the maximum security ward. Dick clenches his fists and waits.
He expects to find guards when he steps out of the elevator. Instead, he finds Robin.
Dick freezes, watching as Tim’s face sets itself in determination. The kid has his bo staff extended, but he isn’t attacking, not yet. Just…ready to.
For the first time, it hits Dick that he’s not just betraying Bruce and Batman. He’s betraying everyone. Alfred. Tim. Even Jason, who had looked up to Dick in life. Is he going to make his little brother fight him?
If he has to. Dick needs to do this. He has known for a long, long time that someone has to kill the Joker, and it couldn’t be a Bat. He’s the only one with the skills and will who is already tainted. This is his duty.
The Joker won’t hurt anyone else. Dick may be betraying Tim, but only to keep him safe.
“Dick. You don’t want to do this,” Tim says slowly, as the two stare at each other.
“I do,” Dick says. Can he convince Tim to back down? Surely Tim, with his brilliant and practical brain, can understand why Dick has to stop the Joker.
“The cameras are off,” Tim pleads. “If you stop now, no one will ever know.”
Dick has avoided justice once. He won’t do it again. “Turn them back on,” he orders.
He watches as Tim’s grip tightens on his bo staff. “Bruce—”
“Don’t,” Dick hisses. “You have no idea what I’ve done. What I am.” He sighs. “I have to do this. Let me past, Tim.”
“I know you turned yourself in for Blockbuster’s murder.”
Dick nods tightly. “Then you know that I’m already a killer. Turn the cameras back on. When I’m done, Tim, you can arrest me yourself.”
“No,” Tim insists. “You didn’t kill Blockbuster. You didn’t shoot him.”
“Are you sure about that?” Dick asks, tilting his head. He draws his gun from inside his coat. The magazine is full. The safety is on, for now. He doesn’t point it at Tim—first rule of gun safety, don’t point the gun anywhere you don’t want to shoot—but it’s a demonstration. Dick is carrying a gun and has carried a gun for months, even if his fellow Bats have tried not to think too hard about it. Tim’s confidence in him is baseless.
“You didn’t kill Blockbuster,” Tim repeats.
Dick sighs, tucking the gun away. “I let him die. That’s close enough. Amy disagreed.”
“I disagree,” Tim says. “Bruce, too. Come on, Dick. Stop this and come home.”
Dick laughs. “I killed a man, Tim. I failed Bruce, do you really think I’d be welcome?” But even then— “Do you really think it matters?” Dick doesn’t want reassurances. Doesn’t want Bruce to accept him, because even if Bruce was willing to put aside his morals, Dick would still know what he is: rotten to his core. “This isn’t the first time I’ve killed someone, Timmy.”
Tim inhales sharply. “What.”
“You watched me,” Dick says. He lets his stance open. “I beat the Joker to death.”
“That doesn’t count,” Tim says, but he sounds uncertain. Dick feels his heart twist in his chest. He hates that he’s hurting his baby brother, but it’s better this way. It’s better that Tim realizes what Dick is before he can get poisoned too.
“I beat the Joker to death, and I was happy about it. Bruce made a mistake when he revived him. I’m just going to correct that mistake.”
Something flashes across Tim’s face. “This isn’t you, Dick.”
“This is me,” Dick says. “I killed the Joker, I killed Blockbuster, and now I’m going to make sure the Joker dies permanently.”
“You’re going to regret this. I can’t let you do something you’ll regret.”
“You don’t have to let me,” Dick says gently.
“You won’t hurt me,” Tim insists. “And I’m not going to let you past.”
It’s true. Dick won’t hurt Tim, not really. But they both know that Dick can incapacitate him without doing any significant damage.
Tim’s face falls. “If you really think that letting Tarantula shoot Blockbuster makes you a murderer, how can you expect me to let you kill the Joker?”
It’s a good question. But the answer is easy. “Because I could have stopped her.” Dick takes a deep breath and forces his hands to unclench. He hadn’t even realized that they’d formed fists. Dick looks up and meets Tim’s eyes through the lenses of Robin’s mask. “But you can’t stop me.”
“I have to try,” Tim says.
Dick watches as his little brother finally moves his bo staff into a fighting position. He could stop here. He could accept Tim’s offer and go back to the Manor and see if Bruce would forgive him.
But he’s a murderer, twice over, and he’d always know that. And he knows that he can never be Nightwing again. There’s only one way left to atone.
“I know,” Dick whispers, and Tim launches forwards.
The fight is far more fierce than a spar, at least on Tim’s part. Tim is willing to do damage, anything to stop Dick from moving forwards. He thinks he’s saving Dick. And Dick, well, he appreciates it, but doesn’t Tim know that it’s already too late? Dick is a murderer. This is nothing new.
Meanwhile, Dick is trying to pull his punches. It’s not a fair fight, not in the slightest. But Dick has almost fifteen years of training on Tim, and while Dick is determined to win, he can tell that Tim’s heart isn’t in it. As much as the kid has the obligation to try and stop him, they both want the Joker dead. After all, if Tim really wanted to beat him, all he’d have to do is turn the cameras on, and Dick wouldn’t be able to plausibly beat Robin. But the cameras stay off.
Dick doesn’t call him out on it. Tim probably just hasn’t let himself think of it, and Dick will never give Tim the guilt of knowing that he could have won.
Dick dodges Tim’s first strike and dances around his second. He redirects the momentum of the third and tries to sweep Tim’s leg. Tim leaps out of the way. Dick ducks a blow to the head. Tim might not truly want to win, but the kid fights viciously.
It’s difficult. Dick doesn’t have the time to just keep dodging, so he throws out a light punch. Tim twists away, but can’t avoid the kick that throws him sideways.
“So you’re serious about this?” Tim asks, panting. Tired, surprised, but not injured. The Robin uniform should’ve caught most of the force.
Dick still feels bad about it.
It’ll be better in the long run. The Joker will die. He will never kill another Robin, never tear another family apart. Tim will be so much safer. It doesn’t matter that he’ll never forgive Dick for this, because the Joker will never be able to hurt Robin again.
Tim throws out another strike with his bo staff. Dick catches it and rips it away, taking the kick to his stomach and letting himself fly backwards. He slams into the wall, and oh, that hurts. But it’s fine. Tim flies at him again, and Dick neatly sidesteps. With an elbow, he’s able to throw Tim off balance and catch him in a chokehold, wrapping his arm around Tim’s throat.
Tim tries to tuck his chin down, kick Dick in the shins, claw at Dick’s arm, but all it takes is a few seconds and he’s out like a light. The utility belts are keyed to their gloves, so Dick snatches one of Tim’s gauntlets and removes the handcuffs from his utility belt. He cuffs Tim, and then uses the zipties he brought for good measure. If Dick was being particularly careful, he would use a tranquilizer from the belt and lock Robin in a cell, but he’s absolutely not going to leave Tim in Arkham, unable to defend himself. This is supposed to keep Tim safe, not put him in more danger.
Dick waits a few more seconds and watches as Tim stirs. He can’t help the relief that washes through him when he knows for sure that Tim is okay, that he didn’t hurt him. Even through the mask, Dick can tell that Tim is glaring.
“You can get out of that,” Dick says quietly. “But I’ll have a head start. If you don’t want to watch me kill him, you should wait a couple minutes. I’ll stick around in the cell so you can arrest me. Now, how do I turn the cameras back on?”
Tim tilts his head to the side. His face shifts from annoyance to confusion. “Do you want to get caught?”
Obviously. Dick shrugs. “I’m breaking the law. I kill the Joker, and then I go to Blackgate. Seems like a fair trade, doesn’t it?”
Tim shakes his head. “Dick, you’re not thinking this through. You can’t be Nightwing from prison.”
It’s obviously a delay tactic while Tim works on the handcuffs and zip ties, but the statement is so out of place that Dick has to respond. Does Tim seriously think that Dick would go back to Nightwing after committing cold-blooded murder? “Tim,” Dick says. “I’m not ever going to be a vigilante again.”
“But you made Nightwing!”
Dick did make Nightwing, and he’ll regret it until the day he dies. “Nightwing is dead,” Dick says harshly.
Tim flinches. “Then what is this? What are you doing, Dick?”
Dick turns around and starts walking down the corridor. He doesn’t want Tim to see the way his face twists. “Call this my funeral.”
---
A minute later, Dick stands outside the Joker’s cell. He’s not going to be able to guess the twelve-digit code, even with a UV light, so he just takes his gun and slams it into the keypad. The thing cracks, but the door doesn’t open. Well, security did at least one thing right.
Dick pries the keypad away from the wall and takes a look at the wires behind it. He fiddles with it for a few minutes, recalling training sessions with Batman standing over him as a timer ticked the seconds by. Dick could do this in his sleep. He refuses to let his hands shake as he crosses the last pair of wires and the cell door slides open.
Dick takes a step in, only to find that someone else beat him there.
The Joker is lying on his cot in a white straightjacket, but standing over him is a figure in a black motorcycle jacket. When the figure turns around, the harsh florescent light reflects painfully off of his bright red helmet.
Dick runs through the list of known Gotham villains in his head before drawing a blank. His knowledge of skilled mercenaries that operate in the United States likewise doesn’t have a match. The only thing he can think of are the whispers he heard while working for Tommy Tevis. Rumors from Gotham occasionally make their way into Blüdhaven, and among them was the Red Hood.
Red Hood. Former alias of the Joker. Possibly a current up-and-coming drug lord, said to be operating out of Crime Alley. Or a really messed-up vigilante. Or a mercenary. Whatever he was, he had “rules” that no one was happy about. And he supposedly delivered a duffel bag of heads to someone, although no one can agree if it was to fellow drug lords, the Gotham Police Department, or Batman himself. Dick personally hadn’t believed that particular rumor.
Red helmet, operating in Gotham, standing in the Joker’s cell…and the clown’s still breathing. This is, without a doubt, the Red Hood. And it’s not easy to guess why the guy is here.
“What the fuck,” the Red Hood says. His voice is mechanical, leading Dick to guess that there’s a modulator hidden in his helmet. Dick can fight a random drug lord, but the Red Hood does not seem to be a random drug lord. And Dick is unequipped, unprepared, and still bruised from his fight with Tim. “What the fuck, what the literal fuck?”
Well, this is awkward. Right about now would be the perfect time to bury several bullets in the Joker’s brain. It is not a good time, on the other hand, to be fighting a Joker fanboy bent on breaking his idol out of Arkham Asylum.
“You here to stop me?” Hood asks.
Well. Dick may not be a vigilante anymore, but he is here to kill the Joker. And he supposes that is mutually exclusive with rescuing him, so…yeah. “Yep,” Dick says.
“Dressed like that?”
“Yes?” Dick’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, he doesn’t see why his clothes are a particular issue. The Red Hood presumably thinks he’s an off-duty guard who got called to deal with an alarm.
“Right then,” Hood says, amusement trickling into his tone, and before Dick can react, he leaps forwards.
Dick dodges his punch, just barely, and returns with a kick of his own. It sinks into some kind of body armor, and Dick narrows his eyes. The Red Hood, whoever he is, is well-funded. Another blow. This one strikes Dick in the face and he reels back. Hood’s punches are fast and hard, and it’s all Dick can do to avoid the next one.
The two dance. Dick is well-aware that they’re both on a time limit. If Hood gets caught, he can probably disappear. If Dick gets caught, he won’t have his chance to kill the Joker ever again.
Dick thinks he might be able to win this fight, but he doesn’t have the time. His fist glances off Hood’s helmet, so he changes tactics, launching himself through the air and sending a strong punch straight into Hood’s throat. It’s not what a Bat is supposed to do, it’s dangerous for the target, but right now, Dick can’t bring himself to care.
“Wow, Dickie,” Hood says, breathing ragged. “Didn’t know you had that in you.”
Wait. Dick isn’t actually that recognizable, despite Bruce Wayne’s fame. Why the hell does Hood know his name?
Dick doesn’t have time to worry about it, because Hood’s next kick comes out of nowhere and catches him in the stomach. Dick flies across the room, crashing into the wall.
The Joker cackles from his cot. “All this fighting over little old me?”
“Shut up,” Dick says, only to hear Hood’s mechanical voice snap in unison with him. He pulls himself up to a standing position. “Not a Joker fanboy then,” he observes, launching himself at Hood again. Why else would he be in the Joker’s cell, though? “Mercenary?” Dick had thought the crime lord story was more likely, but he supposes a mercenary is plausible. Though obviously not a very smart one, if he was making deals with the Joker.
Hood dodges his blow and throws a punch that glances off Dick’s cheek. Dick’s elbow catches him in the jaw—not that it seems to make a dent on his helmet—and Dick redirects Hood’s next punch and makes several successive blows towards the man’s gut. “He didn’t tell you, did he?” Hood asks. Dick gets the distinct impression that he’s missing some very vital information. “Did he?” Hood repeats. “Bruce didn’t tell you. Hah!”
A punch strikes Dick in the jaw and his head snaps to the side. Copper blood fills his mouth, but Dick’s up before Hood has a chance to press his advantage. He kicks out, catching one of Hood’s arms just as he misses a punch. There’s a distinct crack and Dick grins, blood dripping from his teeth.
“You’re good,” Hood says, launching himself forwards. “But I’m better.” In a single fluid motion, he hits Dick’s shoulder, knocks him off balance, and then presses him against the wall in a chokehold. Unlike the way Dick choked Tim earlier, this is an air choke. Painful. Painful, but slow. The Joker laughs, and this time, no one bothers to cut him off.
Dick slams a knee into Hood’s groin and then uses the wall to launch both feet into his chest, kicking him back. His throat aches. “No, you’re not.” The way Hood moved…Dick’s only seen that from one person before. “You’re League-trained, aren’t you?” If Hood is, then he likely already knows Dick’s identity. And he recognized Dick on sight, asked him if he’s really going to fight dressed like that, mentioned that there was something Bruce hadn’t told him…yeah, he definitely already knows.
“Maybe,” Hood says. He’s slower, now. From the way he’s moving, his arm is definitely at least fractured.
In the background, the Joker continues to laugh, reminding Dick why he’s here. Dick doesn’t need to win this fight. He just needs to complete his objective and render Hood’s null and void.
“You’ve thought of something, haven’t you?” Hood asks.
“Yeah,” Dick says. “I realized I’m going to win.” He flies forwards, pulling himself into a somersault and slamming both feet into Hood’s chest. The man flies backwards and Dick rolls away, pulls out his gun, and flicks the safety off.
“What—”
Dick practiced this in the police academy. He knows how to shoot a gun. He knows how to hit his target.
He forces his eyes to stay open as he aims the gun at the Joker’s forehead and pulls the trigger. A bullet flies through the Joker’s brain and he goes silent, his last laugh ringing in the air.
There are fifteen rounds in Dick’s pistol.
He shoots again and again and again, until every single bullet has buried itself in the Joker’s corpse.
And then he turns to face Hood and smiles.
Dick doesn’t know what happens now. Sooner or later, Tim will burst into the cell to arrest him, or the guards will come to do the same. But Hood—Hood wasn’t part of the plan. And he doesn’t know what the man will do next.
Hood stares at him, unmoving. Dick steps forward and presses two fingers to the Joker’s neck, checking for a pulse. There’s nothing.
The Joker is dead. Dick killed the Joker.
Dick killed the Joker.
Dick killed the Joker.
The last time he killed someone, he panicked. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t do anything.
This time, he just feels vaguely numb.
Hood pulls off one of his gloves and Dick watches as the man checks for the Joker’s pulse as well, before turning his helmet to face Dick. “He’s dead,” Hood says, shock audible even through the modulator.
Dick swallows. “Yes.”
Last time he killed someone, Tarantula was there. This time, it’s the Red Hood. At least the Red Hood isn’t his ally. At least the man will be more likely to want to kill him for ruining his payday than anything else.
“Yes,” Dick says. “I killed him. I killed the Joker.” He leans against the wall, lets his back slide down until he’s crumpled on the floor, his pistol hanging loosely from his hand.
“He’s dead,” Hood repeats. “What the fuck, Dick? I didn’t think you were even capable of this.”
Dick stares at the ground. “Do not,” he says, voice hard, “presume what I’m capable of.”
“Yeah,” Hood says slowly. “I’m getting that.
Dick looks up tiredly. “You should probably go. Your employer won’t pay you for breaking out a corpse.”
“My employer?” Hood echoes, as Robin bursts into the room.
Dick watches Tim freeze. Watches his face flicker as he takes in the Joker’s bullet-riddled corpse, Dick crumpled against the wall, and the random mercenary standing in the middle of the cell.
“Fuck,” Tim says. Dick thinks it’s the first time he’s heard his baby brother curse.
“Was the Pretender in on this too?” Hood asks.
Pretender? Hood has to be referring to Tim. “No,” Dick says. “No, Robin tried to stop me.” He hopes that will be enough that Hood won’t be upset at Tim for ruining whatever he was here for.
“Did he now?” Hood’s voice sounds dangerous. Tim looks—not scared, but determined in that desperate way Robin always does when facing a fight he knows he’s not going to win. Mouth set into a hard line, tension etched into every line of his body, stance defensive and far too steady.
And Dick may not be a vigilante anymore, he may be looking at a life sentence, but he’s not going to let anyone hurt Robin. “If you touch him,” Dick hisses at Hood, “I will end you.”
“Will you now?” Hood asks.
Dick stands up, bruised and battered but still a protective shield for his little brother. He gestures at the Joker’s corpse. “Yes,” he says resolutely. “I will. I will fight you, and I will win. Robin might be here to stop me from killing again, but I know better ways to make you wish you were never born. Are we clear?”
Hood holds up his hands. “Crystal.”
If Hood does try to get revenge, then Dick will defeat him, but it would be far easier if Hood just leaves now and Tim takes Dick to the nearest police station. The cameras are still off, so there isn’t much evidence, but… “You can take me to Gordan,” Dick tells Tim. “I’ll confess.”
“Fuck,” Tim repeats.
“You know it has to be like this,” Dick coaxes, holding out his wrists. “Just bring me in, and you won’t ever have to see me again. I killed him.”
“You better not,” Hood says. Dick’s not entirely clear on who he’s talking to.
Tim’s hands clench. He’s holding his bo staff aimlessly by his side.
“Robin…” Dick says softly.
Eventually, Tim sighs. “Fine. Put your hands behind—”
“Don’t you dare,” Hood interrupts.
Tim whirls around. “I’d like to hear any better ideas!” He snaps.
“Oh, I have several,” Hood says, voice dark. The underlying threat is clear.
“Trust me on this,” Tim says.
“That’s rich.”
Dick has no idea what’s going on. Robin and the Red Hood keep arguing, though it sounds more like bickering interwoven with some very creative threats. Do the two know each other or something? Is this like a Deathstroke situation?
His eyes keep flickering back to the Joker’s corpse. The blood is pooling over the cot, now, staining the thin sheets scarlet red and dripping onto the white floor.
“He won’t hurt you anymore,” Dick whispers. He doesn’t know who he’s talking to.
Tim’s hand fall on his shoulder and Dick can’t help but flinch. Tim withdraws, as if burnt.
Dick is making this easy for him. Tim doesn’t have to fight, doesn’t have to do anything except drop Dick off at the nearest police station. So why hasn’t he done it yet?
“Agreed,” Hood says roughly, and Dick looks up to where Tim and Hood seem to have reached some sort of consensus.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Tim shakes his head. He turns to Dick. “I may not have been able to stop you from killing the Joker, but I’m not going to let you get yourself killed over this.”
“Gotham doesn’t have the death penalty,” Dick says, even though that’s not really the point.
“And I’m supposed to trust you’d defend yourself from the other inmates?” Dick doesn’t answer. “Yeah. I thought so.” Tim leans forwards. “And you can hate me all I want, but I’m not sorry.”
“I don’t hate—” Dick feels something pierce his neck, and then cold liquid enters his bloodstream. He twists around to see Hood standing over him. “Tim?” He asks, voice shaking. “What’s—what’s going on?” Whatever he’s been injected with, it’s fast-acting. Dick can already feel himself starting to slip away. “No,” he hisses. “No, Tim, what—”
“It’ll be okay,” Tim says. “This was the fastest way. I’m sorry.”
Dick’s vision goes fuzzy and he stumbles away from Hood. The man lets him, and Dick nearly crashes into Tim. “Wait—” His lips move, but they feel like blubber. Everything is numb. Everything is spinning.
The world fades out.
---
Dick wakes up with a headache. Someone—multiple someones—are shouting with sharp, angry voices that pierce his skull. Dick groans.
What happened?
He remembers—
The wall, Robin, the Joker, Hood, no—
Dick struggles, heart racing as he tries to force his eyes open—
“Dick.” That’s Tim’s voice. Dick can see a very blurry Tim standing there, still dressed as Robin but without his mask, and. And someone else? Whoever they are, they move out of Dick’s vision before he can register them. “Dick, you need to calm down.”
“Where am I?” Dick asks, pulse thundering away, but it comes out more like “wh’re’m’i.” He knows he’s not in a jail cell, not where he belongs. His hand brushes against what feels like a couch cushion. Not the cot in his apartment. Not a motel bed. He blinks, and his vision clears, somewhat.
“You’re at a safehouse.”
“C’n’t be ‘ere,” Dick mutters. “B’m’n wou’n’t wan’…” Though, he realizes, Tim hadn’t said whose safehouse. If Tim hasn’t taken him to the police, then he probably hasn’t taken Dick to one of Batman’s safehouses either.
Where the hell is he?
“Wh’re ’m I?” His words are separating a little more. Dick blinks again, and Tim sharpens into focus.
“A safehouse,” Tim repeats.
Dick can feel his face scrunch up. He shifts, slowly moving to a seated position. He’s definitely on a couch. The grogginess is clearing rapidly—he must have been given an antidote to the sedative.
Tim kidnapped him. Why?
Wait, there was another voice. Tim and the Red Hood kidnapped him?
“Okay,” Tim says. “So. Hood’s going to come over here, and you need to…not freak out. We’re not dead.”
“We’re not dead,” Dick repeats, a bit lost.
“Yeah,” Tim says.
And then Hood enters his vision and, well, Dick understands why Tim felt the need to clarify that they’re all still alive.
Because that’s Jason.
“Little Wing?” Dick whispers.
Jason winces. “Yeah.”
“How long?” Dick’s eyes desperately scan over him, drinking in every detail. The white streak in his messy hair, the wrinkles in his shirt, the way his fingers tap at his thigh like they always did when he was nervous.
“Bruce has known he’s back for a few weeks, but he’s in denial,” Tim says.
“I had a plan,” Jason says. “I was going to…I was going to kill the Joker. I guess you beat me to it.”
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The Fighting Abilities of Thranduil, his Sons, and Warriors of the Woodland Realm
The following are all headcanons as written into the "Sons of the Woodland King" (SotWK) universe.
History of Warfare in the Woodland Realm
The First Age Silvan elves of Greenwood the Great developed systems of combat equivalent to "real world" martial arts, similar specifically to wushu (Chinese martial art).
Close-quarter combat is more efficient in tight spaces, and therefore well-suited for densely wooded areas in the Greenwood forest.
It is useful for one-on-one fighting and stealth attacks, which was usually all the Silvans needed to defend themselves, since they did not participate in warfare prior to the Second Age.
Before the arrival of their Sindarin overlords, the forest-dwelling Silvans used only weapons that might be considered "primitive" by the High Elves: bow and arrow, daggers, spears, and staffs, but they used these to great effect and in tandem with their unarmed fighting skills.
When Oropher, his son Thranduil, and their kin arrived, they helped the Silvans ward off attacks from rogue orcs and monsters that survived the War of Wrath and threatened to infest their lands (separate HC post about that here). In gratitude and admiration, they accepted Oropher as their king.
The Sinda introduced other types of weaponry and styles/methods of warfare, including longsword, phalanx, and cavalry. They also promoted blacksmithing as a trade and art (albeit not as sophisticated as their Noldor counterparts), so real armor and stronger weapons were created.
Over many centuries, the fighting techniques of the Silvans and Sindar merged to develop the combat style that was practiced in the realm from the Third Age onward.
Images above: Spear fighting is highly-utilized by Greenwood warriors, and every soldier excels in both one-on-one combat and fighting as a unit. Inspiration can be taken from the deadly style of Achilles from the film Troy (2004).
Thranduil the Warrior King
Thranduil is acknowledged and remains unsurpassed as the greatest warrior in the Woodland Realm's history.
In his role as Prince of Greenwood, he was instrumental in forming and enhancing the military forces of the Woodland Realm throughout the Second Age. A veteran of the War of Wrath, he understood that a strong army was vital for the protection of any kingdom.
Among his countless talents, combat is Thranduil's strongest and most favored, the one he takes great pride in honing and exercising. (In contrast with his father Oropher, who was an expert politician first and foremost.)
Young Thranduil was also passionate about sharing his knowledge, and devoted his time in both training his Silvan brethren and, more importantly, learning from them and absorbing their combat culture.
Thus, the distinctively flashy yet lethal hybrid fighting style that married Silvan martial arts with Sindar swordplay was developed and wielded perfectly by Thranduil.
Thranduil is also a brilliant tactician and field commander, who served as General of the realm's armed forces for many centuries (until his eldest son eventually succeeded him in the role).
He is known for always leading the charge in every single battle, stubbornly rejecting the use of his kingsguard on the field (much to father's chagrin and wife's anxiety). But for this, he is revered by his soldiers, all who would sacrifice their lives for him without hesitation.
Thranduil and Oropher were frequently at odds when it came to policies on managing their military forces and engaging in outside conflicts. Had it not been for Thranduil's push for more training and investing in better armor and weaponry, the realm's losses during the War of the Last Alliance would have been even greater.
After he ascended the throne, Thranduil made it an even greater priority to increase the strength of Greenwood's army, which fortuitously saved the realm from being caught off-guard and overwhelmed when the Necromancer began his assaults from Dol Guldur.
Images above: Thranduil's sword-fighting style and battle prowess is very similar to that of Prince Nuada (also an elf-prince!) from the film Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008).
Thranduilions: The Warrior Princes
The Elvenking passed his combat knowledge onto his sons by training each one of them personally.
For centuries, the princes also trained alongside the rest of the realm's armed forces and gradually grew in skill, each according to his own unique talents.
Crown Prince Mirion, the king's eldest and heir, inherited leadership of Mirkwood's army around TA 1200, when he was named General and "Protector of the Realm", as he was a fierce defender of the Woodland people during the rise of Dol Guldur. (Upon his untimely death, the role reverted back to Thranduil.) He is physically the strongest of the princes, even stronger than his father.
Prince Gelir Thranduilion (fourth-born) is famed for being the realm's most talented archer and hunter, eventually becoming Captain of the Spider-hunters.
Prince Legolas Thranduilion (youngest) is the most acrobatic, creative, and "playful" fighter among his brothers, being the most naturally agile. He is also quick to learn just by observing, and so carries the fighting styles and tricks of his older brothers with him.
Prince Arvellas Thranduilion (third-born) is the least trained and and experienced in the fighting arts among the princes, not for lack of talent, but because (like the Elvenqueen), he chose early on to devote himself to academia and the healing arts instead.
Five Princes of Mirkwood: Personal SotWK commission by hffhifjou (click to enlarge)
Prince Turhir: Born for Battle
While all the Thranduilion Princes are skilled warriors with their own styles, the most naturally gifted and the most like his father in martial strength, skill, and ferocity, is Prince Turhir Thranduilion (second-born).
Turhir can be described as the ultimate fighting machine: brutally strong, virtually inexhaustible, extremely fast (esp. for his 7'6 size), and possessing flawless battle instincts. He is also uniquely hard of body, and in the rare times he sustains injuries, he recovers with no help necessary from healers.
Over the entirety of Thranduil's kingship (Third Age), Turhir is the only one, anywhere in Middle-earth, to have ever bested the Elvenking in single combat--and he did so several times during the Third Age, proving he had the potential to surpass his father in fighting ability.
In TA 542, Turhir was granted the role of Master Trainer of the Greenwood armies, making him responsible for teaching many of the young soldiers that fought for Mirkwood in the wars of the Third Age.
But where was he during the Battle of the Five Armies and War of the Ring?? To be revealed in future HC discussions and/or SotWK fics.
Images above: The spear is Turhir's favorite weapon, and his skill with it is best exhibited again by Prince Nuada from the film Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially in this training scene.
Thank you for reading!
For more Thranduil/Mirkwood headcanons: SotWK HC Masterlist
Tolkien Headcanon tag list (plus some others who have shown interest in this subject--thank you all!): @quickslvxr @laneynoir @auttumnsayshi @achromaticerebus @tamryniel @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @aduialel @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @klytemnestra13 @jezzibee @creativity-of-death @heilith @fizzyxcustard @absentmindeduniverse @lathalea @tamurilofrivendell @jordie-your-local-halfling @laurfilijames @i-am-pinkie @ladyk8tie @princesschimchim1325 @kazimina @scyllas-revenge @asianbutnotjapanese @conversacomsmaug @lemonivall @ratsys
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