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#sorry I didn’t get any sleep
wombathos · a month ago
"but like... your other man is already a fierce corpse xxc" i was wondering, is there anything that confirms sl & xxc rs as romantic? Otherwise I'm always confused why ppl can't talk about xy & xxc without mentioning somehow romantic songxiao it's whether a fic, a meme, a joke, a serious analysis, etc...& it's not like it's not interesting & as if idk that these chara are p connected but it does baffles me that it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to find xuexiao that doesn't imply songxiao (&kinda sad lol)
to be clear I’m generally pro just xuexiao! and I do get this complaint. but also in the context of that specific post I think that xxc’s reasons for killing himself were canonically... uh, pretty closely tied to song lan dying (and xxc being the one to kill him) - and sentient fierce corpse song lan still being around could make a difference to xiao xingchen. and yeah, I guess I do personally read sl and xxc as having.... some kind of an intimate bond - I’m hesitant to label it romantic or anything so definitive, but they clearly care about each other a lot. so if xxc knew that sl wasn’t lost to him entirely, maybe they could all work something out (or so I’d hope, sadly it was a bit unlikely). beyond that, canon doesn’t really ‘confirm’ any ship apart from,, wangxian and anyone else who actually got married but I don’t... really care about confirming ships in general, sorry. I also don’t really like songxiao without xue yang in the mix but I do like it as a backdrop to xue yang and xxc’s relationship... I guess because I think jealousy and tragedy are fun?? but also I doubt that answer is representative of fandom as a whole and apart from that I can only really speculate
I totally get how common fandom interpretations can become grating through too much repetition, especially when they’re just casual gags that are treated like common wisdom. but I didn’t label either the xuexiao or songxiao axis as romantic or otherwise in that post or in the tags. mostly I implied that xxc cares about both of them, whatever form that takes. (and as it happens that tension is one of the things I enjoy a lot about xuexiao as a ship - xue yang deliberately targeting song lan to get at xxc, xue yang’s perspective on xxc’s whole ‘giving song lan his eyes’ thing, just how annoyed xue yang was when song lan showed up and ruined the peace. I don’t think that shared history is sad to me in that sense - or maybe a little for xue yang but I like that - because xxc having intense feelings about someone in the past/present doesn’t detract from the ship. I don’t think I’d ever want to cut song lan out of that. but on the flip side I would also be profoundly disinterested in any exploration of song lan and xiao xingchen’s dynamic that ignored xue yang. I just like triangles tbh.) I guess I don’t know what to tell you anon, I ship xuexiao and songxuexiao about equally and songxiao is honestly a bit of a notp for me at this point, so I’m not sure if I’m the right person to take this up with
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tibetstan · a month ago
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it’s so interesting seeing people gloat on their hate for gabi and falco (they’re literally like what 12? LOL) like first of all just know you don’t see manga readers hate on gabi for a reason and if you can’t put two and two together maybe just stick to hating children and not having empathy and maybe you’ll look like an even bigger clown when shit hits the fan! like seriously have we not all been reading/watching the same series? Isayama doesn’t half ass his characters and their actions, maybe learn to critically analyze writing and imagery and you’ll calm down lol I just can’t with all of you seriously calling for the death of a child AND her voice actor???? Grow up
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maxwell--jay · 3 months ago
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Haha wait. I'm in danger.
#my post#just realized that everything in my life might possibly fall apart#literally everything is crashing down on me I think#also its 4:30 in the morning and I cant sleep and all I want is pasta.#very tempted to get up and make it. its really all I have. and eating will make my brain clearer and maybe I'll feel okay#idk. just tired of remembering trauma in really unfortunate ways.#also I feel like an awful person for being mad at someone about it (hi. you know who you are. please stop reading this)#like. first of all. this person is so important to me and I kind of need them. both because I care so much#and because they are literally my key to not being totally abandoned in this world with nothing.#secondly. they didn't mean to hurt me.. so why should I be upset? I mean. I've done bad things to them too... I should just get over it#I should stop being angry all over the place about it.#but also I know I have to let myself heal. because the situation was bad. but how can I heal. if taking time away from them is bad for me#because they are so important to my life and happiness. and I feel bad for hurting them by being upset.#does any of this make sense?#is anyone reading this?#other than the person this is about. who I know didn't actually stop reading when I said to.#idk. its so late. I'm so tired. today has been emotional. I wanted to complain about more. theres only so much I can handle thinking about.#theres so much more. I'm so tired. it all hurts so much. everything was getting better. why does everything hurt so much.#if you read all of this. I'm sorry. but thank you for placing your shoulder under my tears.
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touchytoxic · 5 months ago
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me: okay, need some rest so i can feel good tomorrow!!
my body: okay! great! *takes an hour to let me fall asleep* *gives me dreams about work* *wakes me up randomly at exactly midnight* *gives me dreams about parents* *wakes me up at exactly 3am* *gives me dreams about losing something loved* *wakes me up at exactly 4am* *makes 8 hours of sleep feel like 3*
me: just... gotta get up... out of bed... with no energy??
my body: oh whoops forgot to give you that, maybe later today! *makes me tired halfway through the work day instead* *and gives me a splitting headache after work*
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A warm thank you to @bluebellgrove for tagging me!!! <3 ^.^ <3
Get to know me better
Last song: Something In The Way by Nirvana (I’ve been listening to Nirvana for ages now which is the first time I’ve listened to them for a prolonged period of time since I was like 15 or 16, so, that says a lot about where I am mentally and emotionally rn...)
Last movie: Olivia (1951) for the billionth time this year since first seeing it in like June or July. Though soon I feel I will have to confront that terrible Rebecca remake (dw, I’m planning to make a point about it in a presentation for uni about what a bad adaptation is vs a good one, etc.).
Currently watching: The Office U.S. (again, for the upteenth time)
Currently reading: Les Feux de la mémoire by Edwige Feuillère <3
(and a ton of German stuff for uni but I’m not getting into that bc that it will only anger me. But I’m reading also some articles and journals about Irish theatre in the 1920s for History research and it’s really interesting! But do check out Les Feux! Edwige is really talented in evoking the reader’s emotions, I feel. And I’m fully aware I won’t shut up about this book or this woman but it’s all worth my hyping, I swear!)
Currently craving: to just fucking run away from all responsibility and start afresh and just focus on what makes me happy, like writing and being creative. And live freely in the wilderness but also in London and Paris simultaneously.
Tagging: @mirandasinclairs, @jazz-vampire,  @pleasureinviolence, @mscarolinebingley, @little-miss-scare-all666 , @the-lady-vampire, @siegeperilousgalahad, @sonybuzz42 , @cafeomancer, and anyone else who would like to do this!! As always, no pressure to do it if you don’t want to! <3
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neoyorzapoteca · 7 months ago
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ugh I wrote and posted a long personal rambling Thing talking about violence against women in Mexico, the complexities of addressing feminism here vs. feminism in the US or Europe, etc. in response to an anon asking if I am a radfem, but then made it private because I am perpetually critical of/immediately embarrassed by my ramblings and don’t know if I want it to live on a public blog which is mostly meant to be my archive; will review when less exhausted; 
short answer is, anon (since the term seems to imply something very specific on this website and in this moment), if by “radfem” you mean TERF, then no, I am most certainly not. I think a truly radical feminism has to be intersectional and trans-inclusive, and should support the rights and safety of sex workers; I think a host of different feminisms demand radical action and radical change; give me radical love, give me radical activism, give me radical lives and radical spaces; don’t give me “radical” hatred and “radical” bigotry or “radical” exclusion of people who need protection and support and justice, all in the name of “radical” feminism
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lizbotw · 8 months ago
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i lied again i’ll just post tmrw, i’m tired of proofreading, why do i use so many italics in inconvenient places, end me now!!!
#text post#no ones going to tell me why italics don’t transfer over when i copy and paste into tumblr?#or maybe that’s just me idk#whatever it’s gucci#i just need to spend time comparing my 2 documents and trying to spot the italices i placed in places that are perfect but also horrible#italics* pls learn spelling we have school!!!!!#yeahhh and it’s 11 all ready and idk if it’ll get any interaction so gn 🥱#ugh ew i didn’t like how that last tag sounded i sounded very mean in it ewww i’m sorry idk how to word things#LITERALLY TMRW WILL POST!!! i finished writing everything but i’m staring at daichi’s part and i KNOW there’s a lot of carefully placed#italics in here that i cannot deal with rn#i only had a little bit of his part to finish off writing today but then i added more to kageyama’s because i felt the need to explain this#one S C E N A R I O which turned into ‘n e ways hinata 😍’ YOU’LL SEE#but yeah i underestimated proofreading yet again!!!#combination of those things = me rn not posting for 5 days again!!!!! i’m horrible ik pls don’t come for me#i’m not even going to change anything in tanaka’s part bc he’s literally perfect and i love him 😍#writing his part the other day reinvigorated my spice for life! (i mean spice for writing but same thing) like he’s perf that’s ittt 😌#oh these tags are getting long wow okay signing off!!!#i even perfectly timed that scorpio post to be the last thing b4 i posted bc i was planning on having another stupid text post right after i#posted so it’ll balance them out 😍 but no!!! my blog organization never goes as planned#i’m also actually feeling nice and tired rn so early night y’all so excited i love sleep 😍
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murobrown · 10 months ago
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#do you ever feel so good that you just completely ignore all the bad feelings for weeks?#and you are doing just fine but then things start to fuck up and you can no longer ignore bad feelings#but you go and pretend it's okay#and suddenly it just hits you all at once#and you just feel 163529251 feelings at once and it's overwhelming and it's literally stopping you from living#I think that the stress from last week just triggered everything#I've been so busy I didn't have time to really feel anything or really think about anything#and now got to bed and I don't even want to fall asleep because I know I will wake up soon and get stressed#stress completely overwhelmed me tonight...I couldn't do anything but cry and I felt really defeated#I'm just so frustrated and overworked and hungry and stressed and fucking exhausted like never before#my whole body hurts like hell#I don't think I ever overworked to this point#it made me want to throw up when I got home today#there are so many things I need to manage now I can't really focus on any of them#and the idea that my first free day will be on Thursday just makes me want to cry again#and I'm working on Friday again...fuck me#I can't even imagine surviving tomorrow#I just want someone to tell me it's going to be okay and lie in bed with me for a while#sorry for another rant... I just don't want to sleep even though I know I should unless I want to pass out tomorrow#I even thought about hurting myself so that I won't have to work tomorrow#like spraining my ankle or breaking my finger#I think I'm officially going insane... goodnight I hope I will not wake up tomorrow#also I love you all very much and I hope everyone is happy and safe and healthy because you mean a lot to me ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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crestazul · a year ago
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@odairing
each night passes in phases,    like the slanted moon that dances faint on the hardwood or waves that roll into shore one by one.  the first is always calm  —  as things are now, curls settled soft against the pillows, world silent except for the cicadas’ hum  &  the slow tide of breath she pushes out, pulls back in again.  but it is only ever a matter of time before the next sounds with a shriek, a cry to shatter stillness as she writhes upon the mattress, tangled in an invisible net woven from memories twisted by trauma and terror.  it is always then that he flies in from somewhere down the hall, then that he finds some way to soothe the tempestuous storm raging within.  with hushed words she doesn’t understand, little melodies she never recognizes, he shakes her gently from the past and drags her clawing back into the present.  tonight, they try something new.  eliminate one of the steps and just maybe it will be easier on everyone involved.  he lay beneath her now, atop a small pallet on the floor.  and how mean, she thinks it is, to leave him there.  minutes pass without a word until    “  finnick,  ”    breath hitched, annie waits for any sign that he has heard.  open eyes stare blankly at the ceiling, a black pool that creeps further down the walls, dares to swallow her whole.  then, quieter,    “  come  to  bed?  ”    lithe fingers peel back one of the vieja’s hand-stitched quilts, wincing slightly at how wrong the words sound out loud.  she tries again,    “  mira  —  it  can’t  be  comforting  down  there.  ”
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whoneedsapublisher · 6 minutes ago
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Quid Pro Quo
Wow I’ve been out of it this week, I completely forgot about posting anything last Friday or Tuesday. Sorry! Here’s a HonoUmi.
Words: ~739
Summary: Honoka makes Professor Umi an illicit offer. 
Also on Ao3
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If pressed, Umi Sonoda would, reluctantly, admit to being familiar with pornography. She didn’t think of herself as a… fan of porn, and if anything, she tended to avoid it, but… well, she wasn’t completely chaste. She had… urges sometimes, and didn’t usually have a partner, so she… well, the important thing was, she was… aware of porn, and how it usually played out. As such, she was familiar with the classic cliches, although some of them only really from pop cultural osmosis rather than actually seeing any pornography featuring them. The plumber, there to “clean out pipes”. The pizza delivery driver and the mysteriously destitute recipient with a scheme for an alternate payment plan. The handsome gardener or pool boy and the bored rich woman.
And, of course, the all time classic.
“Isn’t there something you could do to raise my grades, Professor Sonoda?” the brazen girl said, pouting in an exaggerated fashion and leaning forward to accentuate her modest cleavage. “I’ll do… anything…” She tugged down her shirt a little to flash the lacey black strap of her bra.
Umi closed her eyes and massaged her temples with the tips of her fingers..
Honoka Kousaka, was overall, far from the worst student that Umi had ever had. She showed up to class, she was almost never disruptive, and, for the most part, she engaged with the course and put forth effort towards completing it. Already, passing even that basic bar put her above no end of problem children that somehow hadn’t left their bad attitudes behind in compulsory education and managed to drag them all the way into Umi’s undergrad course. But while Honoka was not Umi’s worst student, she was far from the best. She got distracted fairly often, frequently forgot homework or rushed to complete it right before Umi collected it, and struggled with many aspects of the material. As such, she was failing the course. Only barely, but nonetheless, she was definitely at risk of losing the credits.
And apparently, she had decided that rather that studying more or spacing out less, the best way out of this situation was attempting to seduce her professor.
“Miss Kousaka-”
“Oh, please, professor,” Honoka said. “You can call me Honoka.”
“...Miss Kousaka,” Umi said, opening her eyes and pinning Honoka in place with a glare. “Let me ask you a question. What, exactly, do you imagine would happen if a highschool teacher was to sleep with one of their students?”
“Um,” Honoka said. “I mean, they’d go to jail, probably? But I’m not underage-”
“What if the highschooler was eighteen?” Umi interrupted.
“Then it’d be okay?” Honoka said, hesitantly.
“Wrong,” Umi said. “They’d be fired. On top of that, they’d be blacklisted. Absolutely barred from teaching again, ever. Even if their partner was consenting and of legal age, they still might face legal troubles, and they’d be publicly reviled. Violating the trust invested in a teacher to hold power over those younger than them and abusing that power for sexual gratification is vilified extensively, and for good reason.”
“Um,” Honoka said.
“Do you know how many years of education it takes to become a professor?” Umi continued.
“Um,” Honoka said, again. “Like, four? For a degree?”
“Eight,” Umi said. “At minimum. To even qualify. And no school hires a professor right out of school. You need years of teaching experience to even get an interview. Do you imagine, Miss Kousaka, that the pay for a professor is competitive with other fields that require such extensive qualification?”
“Um.”
“The answer is no,” Umi said. “Teaching is many things, but it is not a fast track to fame or fortune. It is something you do because you believe it is important.”
Umi’s glare intensified, and Honoka drew back a little, wilting under Umi’s thunderous expression.
“So what you should be asking yourself,” Umi said, her voice hard, dripping with barely restrained fury. “Is whether you think that your little illicit offer of quid-pro-quo sex work is worth the more than ten years of my life it took to get this position.”
Honoka slowly straightened up and pulled her shirt back into place.
“Hmph.” Umi looked back down at her papers. “If you leave me your email, I’ll send you a review packet for the course and a guide to school-approved tutors. Is there anything else, Miss Kousaka?”
“No, professor,” Honoka mumbled.
“Then I’ll see you on Thursday,” Umi said.
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return-of-the-simp · an hour ago
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A Master’s Love
Summary: The reader has anxiety and she has an attack and Obi finds out and he just gives her love and helps her out.
Warnings: Anxiety attack.
Parings: Obi Wan Kenobi x Padawan!Female!Reader (Platonic), Commander Cody x Padawan!Female!Reader (Romantic)
Words Count: 1.1k Words
A/N: This took longer than expected, but yep.
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Obi Wan was walking through the hallways of the Negotiator in search of his Padawan, Y/N, a stunning and strong young woman who has seen more than she should have at the age of nineteen. The Negotiator was silent, after all, most of the troopers were sleeping, that included his Commander, which meant he could have a nice chat with Y/N without Cody hearing, except they decided to have late night… Activities.
Obi Wan rounded the last corner to Y/N’s quarters in hopes she was there, and his suspicions were confirmed when he felt her force signature coming from inside her bedroom, but It wasn’t her usual signature, this one was scared, sad and…. anxious, and that was when it struck him, Y/N was having an anxiety attack.
Walking quickly towards Y/N’s room, Obi Wan’s brain was racing about the possibilities of what could have triggered this attack, it wasn’t like her to get anxiety attacks out of nowhere, and the mission had gone spectacularly, with almost no casualties. 
“Y/N/N.” Obi Wan said as he entered her room, and his heart broke at the sight, Y/N was shaking slightly, her knees up to her chest, and her hands were at the sides of her head, gripping it.
The Master walked over to his padawan and sat besides her, his hands coming up to grip her wrists softly and pulling them from her head slowly, after he got to take her hands off, he sat across from her while holding her hands, knowing that she didn’t like to be hugged during attacks.
“It’s okay Y/N/N, I’m here, you are not alone.” Obi Wan shushed Y/N softly, making her look up at him, her eyes glassy but no tears were streaming down her face, her breathing was still uneven.
“It’s okay, darling. Look at me and follow my breathing, okay?” Obi Wan said as he started to take deep slow breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out, Y/N followed his breathing and about five minutes later the attack had stopped.
Obi Wan looked into his padawan’s face with relieved yet worried eyes, he was happy Y/N had gotten through her attack, but he was still worried it would begin again or maybe it wasn't completely gone.
“I’m sorry, Master.” Y/N said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, and Obi Wan’s brows frown.
“Why?” He asked as he shifted closer to her, big rough hands still holding her smaller and softer ones in reassurance and comfort.
“For bothering you, you probably came to talk to me about something else and you ended up wasting time helping me.” She answered, head bowed as she looked at their hands, Obi Wan only frowned.
“Your wellbeing will never be a bother, Y/N. I didn’t come to talk about something else, I actually came to have a nice chat with you and check up on you. Cody told me he saw you a bit down but he had duties to fulfill and couldn’t come, so I took matters in my own hands and came to check up on you, and he was right, you are not okay, darling.” He said as he lifted one of his hands up to stroke her cheek in a fatherly way.
“I’ve been having nightmares, one is from the mission two weeks ago, when you almost died, the other one is the same but instead of you it’s Cody.” Y/N’s lower lip trembling as she speaks, a small tear making its way down her cheek, which Obi wiped.
“Oh, darling. Come here.” Obi Wan said as he spread his arms open so his padawan could nestle between them like a small bird on its mother’s wings, and when she did, she started crying as if her life depended on it.
“Shhhh, I’m not leaving any time soon, dearest. You are practically my daughter, and I don’t plan on leaving you any time soon.” Obi Wan shushed her, one of his hands stroking the back of her head.
They stayed like that for what seemed a lifetime before Y/N calmed down, and once she calmed, they stayed hugging on the floor, peace and paternal and daughterly love surrounding them in a perfect mix that washed every negative feeling away.
After a while, Y/N started to feel her eyes heavy, the physical exhaustion from the past few days plus the emotional exhaustion catching up with her. Obi Wan noticed this, slowly accommodating her in his lap in a better way to fall asleep in.
“Sleep, young one.” Obi Wan said as he wrapped Y/N on his cloak as he hugged her, the wide sleeves big enough to be a blanket themselves..
“Will you stay with me, Master? I don’t want to be alone. I do not want to be alone in case I have another nightmare.” Y/N said, sleep dripping from her voice, and Obi Wan couldn’t say no, this was his padawan and eldest daughter-like figure, and she was asking him to stay because she was afraid.
“Of course, dearest. Do you want me to stay even if Cody comes?” He asked in case his future action affected her in not a positive way.
Y/N just nodded against him, “Yes, please. I feel safer when I have you both around, besides, It would feel amazing to have both of your presences close, they are calming.” She answered, her head moving to rest on the crook of Obi Wan’s neck.
A soft hum came from Obi Wan as he stroked her back, calming her and lulling her to sleep, reminding her he was here and was not leaving. The moment Y/N’s breathing evened and her fore signature showed she was asleep, the door of her room slided open, revealing a tired Cody with roses on his gloved right hand, his helmet under his left arm.
“Did you get her to tell you what was wrong?” He whispered as he closed the door, setting helmet down on the table that was by the door alongside the flowers as he saw Y/N sleeping.
“Mhm, and now I can say that all she needs is us by her side, her father figure and her boyfriend.” Obi Wan said as he lifted Y/N up and laid her on the bed, laying next to her. Cody smailed gentely before removing his armor and laying next to Y/N, kissing her head softly before laying on his back.
“I guess you will be staying tonight, like the last time Y/N had that big nightmare.” Cody said, and Obi Wan nodded before closing his eyes.
“I will.”
Cody threw him a tired grin, “Goodnight, General”
Obi Wan returned the grin, “Goodnight, Cody.”
•°•°•°•°•
General Taglist: @lussyyung
Fic Taglist: @raeshin
People that might be interested: @saltybreaddream @winterrskywalker @star-whores-a-new-hoe @book-hoardingdragon
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