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#sorry I struggle so much with people who are like this
ladymunson · 3 days
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Fic summary: Bucky struggles with his feelings toward you, which he hides by pretending he doesn’t trust you. You get placed on a mission together where trust is essential.
A/N: sorry if this is all over the place, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything so this might be a jumbled mess. Enjoy though!
Warnings: SMUT 18+, oral (f rec), fingering, language, unprotected p in v, kissing, heavy petting.
Word count: 5.3k
Not proofread and no beta (apologies for any mistakes)
I do NOT consent to my work being copied, translated or posted to any other platform.
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Dividers made by the wonderful @firefly-graphics and thank you to @jijilaufeyson for helping me make a decision.
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“Are you serious?!” You throw your hands up in exasperation, “I’ve been with SHIELD for three years, I can do this mission by myself. I don’t need a babysitter!”
“Yes, you do.” Bucky sneers, you turn your head towards him and glare.
“I hate to agree with Barnes but he’s right, I think you still need someone to keep an eye on you. Your ex was HYDRA after all.” Tony says, as he crosses his arms over his chest.
You throw your head back in frustration, they’re never going to forget about him.
Three years ago, you had come back to the apartment you shared with you boyfriend of two years to find the place swarming with HYDRA agents. He had been assigned to you to eventually recruit you to HYDRA after they had discovered your abilities.
You’d always been able to sense how someone was feeling by just being near them and eventually it had morphed into being able to influence their emotions. You could walk into a party or a meeting and know exactly who to look out for, whether it be because they were vulnerable or someone with ill intention.
It took immense concentration, effort and energy to be able to change someone’s emotions without touching them. Which you always try and avoid, you don’t want to change someone unintentionally, you could ruin things for them. So, you manage to keep your emotions in check most of the time, and don’t accidentally influence anyone.
The moment you realised that Russell was HYDRA, you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, but they weren’t going to let you go without a fight. Luckily, you’d befriended the Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff, when you’d met her and Wanda Maximoff one night at a local dive bar after Russ had blown you off again. One text to her and they’d both been at your door and helped you get away from the agents and back to the safety of Avengers Tower where you’d been subjected to an intense interrogation from Tony Stark, Cliff Barton and Bucky Barnes.
You’d thought that after all the years spent training and fighting by their sides, they would trust you by now, but obviously they don’t. Or more specifically; Bucky doesn’t. Cliff had decided you were trustworthy the first time he interrogated you and had told them as much, but Bucky wasn’t hearing it. So here you were three whole years later, still deemed untrustworthy by the Winter Soldier of all people.
“You know what…?” You start and Bucky smirks at you, adding more fuel to the fire. “I’m glad you’re doing the recon alone, gives me time to pack.” Bucky raises an eyebrow. “This is my last mission, I’m done. I quit!” You turn on your heel and leave the conference room without another word.
Bucky groans and places both hands on the table in front of him, flesh beside vibranium, and hangs his head.
“Well that went well Barnes.” Tony says as he walks over to the door. “Looks like I have to do damage control.” He points at Bucky. “You find something on that recon and figure out a way to fix this. We can’t lose her.” And leaves the room, the glass door swinging back and forth.
Bucky makes a fist and slams it down on the table in front of him. “Fuck!”
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You stalk down the hallway, heading to your room, walking past everyone and ignoring them all as they try talking to you. Natasha notices and follows you to your room, the doors are automated so you can’t even slam it to let out your frustration. So, you throw your self face down on your bed and scream into the comforter. Natasha just stands by the door, not saying anything and waits for you to finish your screaming.
“Feel better?” She asks as you flip yourself over to lay on your back.
“I can’t believe he still doesn’t trust me! Well, it doesn’t matter anymore, I quit.” You say without looking in her direction.
“You didn’t quit.” Natasha says as she walks over to join you on your bed.
“I did, straight to Bucky and Tony’s faces. Both of them looked shocked but I don’t care anymore. I’m fucking done!” You say as you jump off the bed and begin going through your closet and putting clothes in a suitcase.
The one thing you want, is to have Bucky’s trust…. Okay there’s something you want more than his trust, but you’re never going to get it. If he doesn’t trust you to be member of his team, there’s no way he’s going to trust you in any sort of relationship. So rather than trying anymore, you’ve picked the nuclear option. Serves him right!
“Buck…?” Steve says as he walks into the conference room where Bucky is still hunched over the table. “What’s going on?”
“What is wrong with me Steve? Why can’t I trust people?”
“You mean y/n?” Steve asks. Bucky groans. “Buck, I think it’s obvious to everyone except you and y/n that you like her.” Bucky looks up at Steve. “In a romantic way.”
Bucky stammers, “N... no I don’t.” Steve raises an eyebrow and smirks at Bucky.
“You haven’t been in a relationship since she joined SHEILD, hell you haven’t even on a date in a year. You like her.”
“You’re right Steve, I do. But… She quit.” Bucky says as his head hangs head.
“What did you do? You know what, it doesn’t matter. Fix it!” Steve says and leaves the room.
You and Bucky avoid each other for the next week, but to be fair he was out doing recon for the mission with Sam, who had been ribbing him about his feelings for you and pissing Bucky off. They had however, been able to meet the mark and started integrating themselves into his world. Your role as Bucky’s girl would come later, and you couldn’t help feeling like he was ruining your chances to prove yourself. You could’ve done the getting to know the mark and maybe brought Bucky or Sam or even Steve in as your man later on.
You hated to admit it but their getting to know him first was the better plan as not many women were in that world.
The mark. Carlo Vizzini is the head of an organised crime syndicate, who deals stolen HYDRA and SHIELD weapons and technology to other members of the syndicate. The goal is to find the times and locations of all the shipments being brought into the city, finding a list of buyers would be the icing on the cake but it isn’t a priority.
Bucky’s role is to present himself as someone new to the area who wants to become a member of the syndicate. FRIDAY has come up with an elaborate backstory for the two of you, created entire histories for you both which you’ve spent the last week reviewing and learning. Your backstory isn’t too far away from your real story, so it isn’t hard to memorise. The problem is pretending to be his girl. How can you possibly work together and be convincing if it’s obvious to everyone that he doesn’t trust you. There has to be a reason why Tony suggested Bucky for the mission and not Steve, you don’t know what it is, not that you care because you won’t be around once this mission is completed.
The story. You and Bucky have moved to New York from Michigan, where was a mid level HYDRA agent who oversaw a warehouse that contained new tech. The place had been breached while he was attending a HYDRA event with you, and they had fired him for allowing the breach to happen (An actual event orchestrated by Vizzini).
You had been together for five years at the point you’re at, and Tony had decided to add the fact that you were recently engaged. So, you had to wear an obnoxiously huge diamond on your left ring finger, which really bugged you. You had both been set up in a brownstone in Brooklyn, sleeping in separate rooms but having to appear all lovey dovey in case you were being watched.
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Four weeks later.
Carlo Vizzini has invited Bucky and you to an event hosted at his mansion in the Hamptons, where you will both be introduced to other syndicate members. So, you need a spa day and shopping trip where you can buy a dress for the event and be seen out and about acting like this is a normal occurrence. Tony has also arranged for someone from Tiffany to show up at your house and lend you some jewellery for the event as you’re a simple teeny hoop earring kind of girl.
You find the perfect dress while browsing online so it’s very easy to go and get it without having to actually search in store. Scratch that, Natasha found the dress for you and told you it would be a crime if you didn’t wear it.
The idea is to infiltrate the syndicate event, find the intel and get out without your cover being blown until the weapons and tech have been recovered. If your covers can last beyond that until the entire syndicate has been taken down, that’s even better.
So, you’ve been to the salon and had your hair done and are heading back to the brownstone when you notice the dark SUV you spotted outside the mall had parked across the road and the occupant was crossing over to you. You play it off like you haven’t noticed, a civilian wouldn’t have and that’s who you are for the foreseeable future.
“Excuse me? Y/N” The stranger starts a conversation with you.
“Yes? You answer, turning to face the person who has spoken to you.
“I’m sorry, I work for someone your boyfriend is trying to get into business with and he’s asked me to check that you out.”
You chuckle, “Fiancé.” The stranger looks confused. “He’s my fiancé, not my boyfriend. Does Mr Vizzini think we haven’t done the same the same to him? Can’t be too careful these days, too many con men around, especially in New York.”
The stranger seems a little taken aback by your words, but continues, like his job is at stake. “I have a few questions, if you wouldn’t mind answering.”
You cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow. “Okay?”
He takes a picture out of his jacket and asks. “Who is this man?”
The picture is of Sam Wilson, the Falcon but you answer, “That is Sam, James’s brother, adopted of course. “
“And how long have you been together?”
“Five years, engaged for one. Are we done here? I have to get ready for a party.” You say and turn to the steps of your brownstone, heading up to your front door.
“One more question.” You turn to face him again. “Can I use your bathroom?” You sigh and open the door, directing him the right way and stay in the hallway so he doesn’t sneak anywhere else for a snoop. You hear the cistern flush and the squeak of the faucet, but you also hear the sound of the medicine cabinet being opened. Yep, he’s snooping. A few moments later he steps out of the bathroom and thanks you as he leaves your house.
You head straight into the kitchen and start the coffee machine; you then grab a detector out of the kitchen drawer and head into the bathroom. Using it to detect for a bug, which you find in the cupboard under the sink and leave it there. You have a get out your phone and send a message, one you’ve prearranged with Bucky, telling him about the bug.
‘Can’t wait to see your reaction when you see what I have on under my dress (followed) tonight. You’re not gonna be able to keep your cool or your hands (Suspicious) to yourself’
‘New lingerie?” (Bug?)
‘Maybe (yes), but you’re gonna have to wait and see’
‘Can’t wait’ (Understood)
You’re gonna have to start your charade earlier than anticipated and act like a real couple. I suppose there are worse things in life than pretending to be in a relationship with Bucky. You can’t deny that the dude is hot.
You pretend to use the bathroom by slowly pouring a bottle of water in the toilet, flushing and washing your hands. Then you head back into the kitchen to pour yourself a coffee.
Bucky arrives home a short while later, carrying a bouquet of roses (Sam’s idea) and gives you a kiss. You feel a little twinge in your stomach, feeling his lips on yours. His kiss is light and sweet.
Feeling your lips on his sends a thrill through Bucky, the feelings he’s been trying to hide for years bubbling to the surface and he has to stop himself deepening the kiss.
“There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen babe, I’m going to start getting ready. No peeking!” You say and head upstairs.
Bucky stays downstairs to drink a coffee and makes a few phone calls, all in character of course, before heading upstairs to get into his tux which takes only a few minutes. He’s back in the living room in less than ten minutes, waiting for you join him.
Bucky isn’t downstairs for very long before he hears your heels on the upper landing and stands up to greet you but at seeing you, his breath hitches in his throat.
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(This is the dress you wear)
“You’re fucking stunning!” Bucky breathes out, causing you to grin.
“Not too bad yourself James.” You reply as you walk down the stairs and take his outstretched hand.
You arrive at the house in the Hamptons, impressed with the size of the place, hanging on to Bucky’s arm. The size of it is really impressive and you live in Avengers Tower.
Bucky thinks that he must thank Natasha for picking out that dress. He can’t keep his eyes off of you, that dress hugs your curves in all the right places. Bucky knows he needs to remain professional, but he really wants to get his hands on you and bring you pleasure like you’ve never known. He won’t have any problem pretending to be your lover tonight, because that’s the only thing he wants.
The party is in full swing an hour later, you’ve mingled with everyone, hanging on Bucky’s arm, acting like he’s your entire world. And to him, you are his world. It’s not acting, he’s crazy about you and has been since you met.
Another forty-five minutes go by with the both of you all over each other, giving you a reason to sneak off at some point, to find the intel you’re there to get.
Bucky’s arm is around your waist, holding you close to him as you leave the “ballroom” where the party is. You’re acting the part really well, practically hanging off of him, hands wandering. Walking down the hallway, still all over each other, opening doors looking for a place to have some privacy. Some rooms are all occupied, but the one you’re looking for is empty, Vizzini’s office. As soon as you’re in the room and you part ways, straight back to business, heading for his desk and turning on his computer. Plugging a USB drive you take off of your bracelet into it, and copying the files.
“Heads up Buck, Carlo is on his way and he’s not alone.” Sam says over comms. The last file copies just in time, and you attach the USB back to the bracelet and walk back around the desk.
“Shit!” Bucky says. “We’re gonna get caught!”
Your brain works quickly, “I have an idea, but you have to trust me.” You say as you switch the computer off.
Bucky nods. “Okay.” You pull him over to the wall beside the door and lean against it. You reach up under your dress and remove your underwear, Bucky’s eyes bulge out of his head. You throw your panties in the vicinity of the desk and reach down to undo Bucky’s pants. “What are you doing?!” He asks.
“I told you to trust me, I’ll get us out of this.” You unbutton his slacks and bunch up your skirt a little. “Lift me.” You instruct. Bucky catches on and lifts you, so your legs are wrapped around his waist. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him close. “Go with it okay?” You say. Bucky gulps but nods and your lips meet in a searing kiss that makes you both moan out loud into each others' mouths. His hips begin to move instinctively, playing the part of a man who can’t keep his hands off of his girl. Bucky feels an usual sensation, kind of like a happiness he’s never felt before. As quick as he feels it, it goes away again.
You’re moaning loudly, alternating between passionate kisses and heavy breathing when Vizzini opens the door to his office and “catches” you, entering the room with two burly bodyguards. You gasp and fake panic.
“What the…?” He exclaims, his eyes bogging out of his head before he composes himself and continues. “This is my office, not a motel room!” You giggle. “This is not a laughing matter young lady, this is very inappropriate behaviour!” Bucky lifts you and places your heeled feet back on the floor and helps you rearrange your dress before tucking his shirt back into his slacks.
“We’re sorry Mr Vizzini, but when your girl looks like this, you have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself.” Bucky says as he wraps his arm around your shoulders.
“But this is my office!” Vizzini says, exasperatedly.
“We’re sorry but other rooms were occupied!” You say with a smirk. Vizzini nods and the two bodyguards rush out of the room, they return moments later, both red faced.
Vizzini nods again and turns to you. “We will not mention this again and our meeting Tuesday will go ahead.” Vizzini says. Before sitting at his desk and making a choked sound. “I think these belong to you.” He says, pointing to the black lace panties that had landed on the keyboard of his computer. You giggle and retrieve them from his desk, biting your lip as you do.
“Sorry again!” You giggle as Bucky wraps his arm around you and leads you out of the office. You head back to the party, makes it seem less like obvious that you’re involved in espionage.
You both carry on playing the devoted couple, you’re hanging off of him like someone who can’t get enough of their man. Sneaking kisses here and there, selling the bit. Vizzini reappears a little while later and blushes when you and he make eye contact, you smirk back at him and pull Bucky in for a kiss. It’s after midnight by the time your car has pulled up outside and you’ve said your goodbyes.
You’re still all over each other as you get into the car, smiling and waving to everyone as the car pulls away. You keep the act up until you’re on your way out of the Hamptons and on the free way before you separate, in case you were followed. You stay close to each other just so you can snap back together quickly if you noticed someone watching you or for when you get back to the brownstone that is your “residence” at least until this mission is over.
You can smell Bucky’s cologne and it’s been invading your nostrils since you walked down the stairs before leaving in the early evening. It’s lingering on your skin from how you’ve been all over each other all night. You recognise it as Sauvage, one of your absolute favourites. You can’t remember Bucky ever wearing it before, he’s usually a Hugo Boss guy, which is another of your favourites. You momentarily let your control slip (not for the first time this evening) and imagine what it would be like, to have Bucky’s affections and let happiness bloom inside you, but you stop it as soon as you feel it reaching your face.
Bucky has put so much effort into hiding how he feels, he feels like he’s suffocating right now. He feels something again, like a happiness that he’s never felt before. But it disappeared as quickly as he feels it. The truth is drowning him and he needs to tell you how he feels, the thought actually terrifies him though. What if you reject him? What if you don’t feel the same way?
He needs to talk to Steve, find out how to approach this because he can’t lose you before he’s even had you. The car pulls up to your brownstone and you both get out, his arm around your shoulders as you head up the steps. “I need to go run a quick errand I’ll be back soon, wait up for me?” Bucky asks.
“Of course, baby, I’ll see you when you get back.” You reply with a kiss on the lips, smiling at him as you unlock the door and step inside, closing it behind yourself and leaning against the door with a sigh.
Bucky runs to the bodega on the corner and uses their pay phone, making sure that he’s concealed before dialling.
“Hello…?” Steve answers on the fourth ring, his voice scratchy with sleep.
“How do I tell her? After everything, what do I say?” Bucky’s words are rushed out, not even telling Steve that it’s him.
Steve lets out a sigh. “Buck, just say what you feel. Honestly is the best policy. She needs to know what you feel is real and not because of what you’re both living right now. Open up, I think she will be more open than you expect. I’m going back to sleep now.” Steve hangs up and Bucky is more determined than ever.
He grabs a bottle of wine and some other items so it looks like he had a legit reason to be in the bodega, pays and heads back to your brownstone.
He unlocks the door, you’re not in the living room when he gets back so he quickly takes off the jacket of his tux and goes into the kitchen and puts the items he bought away. Bucky rolls the sleeves of his white shirt up his arms, grabs two glasses and opens the wine then heads upstairs.
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You’re in your bedroom, you’ve taken off your dress and are wearing a short black silk robe. He walks in with the wine and goes to speak but the words die in his throat. He takes a deep breath and closes the door, you raise an eyebrow but take one of the wine glasses off of him as he pours the red wine into it. He pours his own, puts the bottle down and takes a big gulp from his glass.
“We need to talk.” The words rush out with his breath.
“About what?” You reply.
“I’m sorry.” Bucky says, looking straight in your eyes. “I act like I don’t trust you because it’s easier than admitting the truth, but the truth is what you deserve so here goes…” You look at him expectantly. Bucky takes another deep breath before he continues. “I like you and I have since we met, and it scared me because I’ve never caught feelings that quickly before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever caught feelings like I have for you, with anyone. I think I…” he stops himself.
“You think you what?” You nudge.
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
You look into his eyes and the cerulean blue shows nothing but sincerity. He means it. He loves you. You contemplate telling him how you feel but actions speak louder than words.
You walk to Bucky, standing in front of him. You lick your lips he looks into your eyes, searching for hesitation and finding none. He reaches out for you, his hand grabs the back of your neck and he pulls you closer. His lips brush yours and your breath hitches in your throat. You look into each others eyes and you wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him closer and planting a firm kiss on his lips.
Your lips feel like they were made to kiss his, they slot together perfectly, like two halves of a whole. He sighs contentedly as your lips open to allow his tongue access, your tongues dance together, caressing each other as your bodies get even closer.
Something snaps in Bucky and he pulls you towards him, walking backwards until he’s against the wall. He spins you around and pushes you against the wall, breaking the kiss and leaving you panting for breath.
“I need you to say that you want this, please say you want this. I can’t bear one more moment without touching you.” Bucky says breathlessly.
“I want it, I want you.” You say and reach out for him again. He kisses you sweetly, pulls back and sinks to his knees. He plants a kiss on the inside of your knee which makes you shudder. “Fuck!” You moan out as his mouth kisses up your thigh, getting closer and closer to your centre. Bucky lifts your robe and groans out loud, noticing that you never replaced the underwear you removed in Vizzini’s office. He grabs your knee and lifts your leg, hooking it over his shoulder and moving his mouth to your mound, licking a stripe from your hole to your clit. “Holy shit!!” You moan out and grab Bucky’s head with one hand and scratching at the wall with the other.
Bucky groans at your taste and begins to practically make out with your pussy, his eyes glassed over as your juices drip down his chin. His uses two fingers on his flesh hand and teases your hole, gathering your slick until he can sink them into you, straight to the knuckle. He’s eating you with such fierce ferocity and fucking you with his fingers so passionately that your orgasm builds quickly. “I’m not gonna last much longer.. I’m gonna…” a long moan escapes your lips as your orgasm washes over you. You shudder and shake, struggling to breathe as you ride the waves of your climax, your cunt pulsating around his fingers.
Bucky’s oral ministrations slow as your orgasm dies down, and your breathing returns to normal. He removes his fingers and your leg from his shoulder, stands and unbuttons his shirt before removing it and using it to wipe his face. He stands there in a white vest, his face flushed and looks at you adoringly. Bucky undoes your robe and lets it fall off your shoulders, leaving you in just your bra. You reach out and undo his pants, pushing them down leaving him in just a pair of black boxers. You can see his erection straining the fabric, you want nothing more than to take what you can tell is an impressive member out of his underwear and show him how good your head game is. Bucky however has other ideas.
“Take off the bra, please. I need to see all of you.” He says, his eyes still glassy. You oblige and he groans out loud, he steps forward and pushes you against the wall again. He takes your left breast in his hand and massages gently, causing you to arch into him. He lowers his head and takes your nipple in his mouth, circling the tight bud with his tongue. Bucky stops and plants a searing kiss on your mouth, it’s sloppy, full of teeth and tongues. He pushes his underwear down as you’re kissing, depriving your view.
You still don’t get a glimpse as he grabs your ass and lifts you, your legs automatically going around his waist as you continue your assault on each others' mouths, it’s like you can’t get enough. Bucky breaks off the kiss as he looks into your eyes, the both of you are heavy breathing already. “Ready?” He asks, you nod. “Words baby.”
“Yes please!” You feel the head of his cock against your entrance, gathering as much of your creamy slick as he can. Before notching inside you, your eyes roll back in your head as he slides into your wet cunt, painstakingly slowly. He wants you to feel every inch, every vein, the way he throbs for you. Once he bottoms out in you, you release the breath you didn’t realise you were holding. Your arms are around Bucky’s shoulders, holding onto him for dear life. You’ve never felt so full, so… complete. There’s a slight sting and burn, you can only assume but there’s a very good chance that he’s big and girthy.
Bucky plants a kiss on your lips before he begins to move, sliding out of you, almost completely before sinking into you again. The air is knocked from your lungs, you feel amazing as his cock slides in and out of you at an agonisingly slow pace. You moan out loud at the sensation.
“Faster!” You groan out, frustrated at how slow he’s fucking you.
“All in good time, I need to feel you.” Bucky moans out, but pretty soon he can’t just revel in the feeling. He needs to move faster, chasing his end. His hips snap up quicker and your moaning increases in volume, that heat in your belly building again with each thrust of his hips.
Bucky takes your mouth again, kissing you with all of him as he fucks into you with abandon. Your moans and tongues intertwined, your heavy breathing entering each others' mouths. Your hands carding through Bucky’s hair, tugging gently on the strands at the nape of his neck. Each time you do it makes his hips thrust harder and makes him grunt. But you have to stop after a minute as the heat blooming in your belly expands more until it can go no further.
It snaps and blooms upward and downward, sending heat to your toes and making you see white. Your climax makes your head roll back and you let out a scream of pleasure. There’s a new sensation as your orgasm hits, the feeling of white-hot heat spreading through him. Happiness, love, every positive feeling ever shoots through him and the spasms of your cunt around his cock, prematurely sets off his orgasm. He has wanted to draw another two or three from you before his end but he can’t hold it back.
He roars out, even the way your climax muffled your hearing you heard him. You’ve never heard anything like that, the sound was primal, animalistic. Your breathing slows and you lower your head to look at him, he’s staring back at you, looking completely fucked out, but so do you.
“You okay baby?” Bucky asks, breathing heavily and pulling your face towards him so he can kiss you. You can’t even speak, you just about nod before he lifts you off the wall and carries you over to the bed. He lays you down and pulls his semi-hard cock out of you, which makes you whine. He goes into your en suite and grabs a washcloth to clean you up, before joining you on the bed. He pulls you close and you snuggle into his warm body, your hand rests on his chest, just above his heart.
Happiness blooms in his chest once more, a content feeling. He realises that you’re projecting onto him with your abilities but you’re too out of it to realise. The feeling is one of pureness, a feeling of love. Bucky realises he has had this feeling before, many times, the first time was the day he met you. He really did feel love at first sight, he didn’t think it was possible but it happened. And now you both knew how the other felt, there’s no way he was going to go back to the way it was. And you’re not leaving SHIELD. Not unless he leaves with you, because from now on, you are one.
THE END?
Posted 23/04/2024
269 notes · View notes
dark-night-hero · 1 day
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hi :'D man your writing of tragedy makes me want to cry and i love it
the first one i read from your works is zhongli losing y/n his mate because he wasnt there when a god wrecked havoc, so i got an idea.
neuvi's old old, and focalors invited him to be the iudex of fontaine right? during his early days in fontaine he struggled so much with interacting with humans. what if, he meets a human (y/n) who doesnt care that their new iudex had come from nowhere, and completely aids neuvi with communicating with humans and they form such a close bond that he doesnt understand, but right as he decides to go for it and ask yn he receives news of a new case ; yn's murder :D
i swear i did not mean for this ask to be long i am so sorry 😭
Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.
That is the human on Neuvillette, the new iudex of Fontaine. He does not even know why he accepted such invitation. In the first place, his hesrt was distant from the people. His imagine of them was quite... bad. Maybe that was just his discrimination, but the more he get to stand on trial, then more distorted his imagine of mortals become.
And then he met you. You who was a human, but different from the humans that the knew. You were just... different. You do not look at him with fear nor do you look at him with indifference. The way you act around him, you just act like yourself.
He met you in a rainy day, a rainy day after a trial. He was walking unbothered under the rain, when a figure with umbrella started walking towards him. "Ah- Ah! Mister-!" At first, he ignore it despite the softness of the voice whom was talking to him. "Wait-!" He was avoiding people as good as he can. He saw no good in interacting with them.
"Hey!" He was getting pissed to be honest, the rain was getting heavier and once in a while a thunder could be heard. He was ready to brush the person off when suddenly, the rain stopped. There was an umbrella over his head. "Are you crazy! At this rate you're going to get sick!" What? Neuvillette was stunned, letting himself get dragged by this mortal who does not seem to recognise him or did they? "Iudex or not, what are you thinking walking under the pouring rain? Here! Take this umbrella!" After going under some shade, he watch you left him out much thought, he was holding your umbrella as you only have your hands protecting you from the rain.
You are weird. Weird in a good way that does not make sense. Maybe it was a coincidence, but after thatm he kept bumping into you. In his walk in his way into the court and when he was coming back from the court. In the path he talk, you were always there talking to him even though he does not reply. Still, it was strange how with you, he felt comfort.
"It's raining again, and here you are walking under the rain. Seriously, what's with you?" ... "Rather than that, what's with you?" "Me? What's wrong with me?" "You're different from other." "What makes me different from them?" He did not answer after that, for he too does not know what to say. How weird.
You were pretty close to him. He does not know how, but many all those walk together with you was working. In the end, he found himself completely relax and comfortable around you. "Now that I think about it. I'm your only friend, no?" ... "gasp! For real?" "Humans... I found them rather hard to communicate with." After all those trials, he does not know what to think about humans anymore. That is why he found you weird. "Why? Why is that?!" You pout. "Well..." He stopped walking and ponder for a while. "Maybe it's because I have seen mostly the dark side of humans that I cannot seem to know what to think and say to them." He replied after a little while. "Hey! That's totally unfair! If you try hard enough to know more about us there is more than the dark side there is to see!" "Hmmm. I doubt..." "No! Seriously, you jut have to open up your heart to the people and you will see the goodness in their heart." You laugh. To be honest, he does know that. After all, there was no other ways he could describe you but a good person and perhaps, maybe even more than that. But to open his heart to the people other than you... "Right... I'll think about it."
Neuvillette always find it difficult to interact with people. Most of the time he had this instinct to stay away from them. Maybe it has something to do with their origins, he was a high being after all and humans. Humans are just... humans. Nevertheless from the moment he have met you, he knew he was doomed. Doomed to understand humans. From the moment he get to know more of you, the more he mindset starts to change. Maybe... maybe humans are not as bad a he thought them to be.
"Are you okay?" The cafe was not crowded. It was almost midnight when the two of you decided to go into one. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" You asked with a smile on your face. Nevertheless Neuvillette did not fail to notice the way your eyes quickly scan the surroundings, the way you seemed to be anxiously playing with your fingers. But then, you are looking at him dead in the eyes telling him you are fine. Maybe it was nothing. "It's getting dark, shall we go?"
That night, Neuvillette decided to give it a try. Maybe just as you said, humans are not bad as he thought they would be. Maybe just like you said, all he need to do is to open his heart to the people and see things in a different perspective. Thinking about it makes his lips curl up, thinking how joyful you would be if he were to tell you that in person. But.
Humans can be cruel ang cunning creatures. If not then crimes and wars would have never happened. They are beings who are capable of hurting each other for the sake of their own gain. They would not hesitate to use each other and kill each other.
"What is this?" His hands were shaking. "Earlier a citizen named (First name) (Lastname) was found mur-?! Monsieur?! Where-" He rush out the room. He run and run and run until he was under the heavy rain. Hands still clenching the piece of goddamn paper with such gruesome, unbelievable concent. No, he would not believe it. He could not believe it. You were just walking with him earlier this day, your smile as too real for it to be unreal. He had just seen you earlier so why? Why are you there sitting in your own pool of blood soaked under the rain?
He could not even approach you, he just watch there along with the other people watching the crime scene get cleaned up like it was nothing. People were looking at you with interest like yu were some kind of entertainment after all. It was the very first case of murder in Fontaine.
Neuvillette could hear nothing under the rain, he just stood there under the same spot even after tour body was taken away. Countless thoughts running in his head. Why? Why does it have to be you? Why do humans never change? Why does t has to be you? Why? Just fucking why you? You asked Neuvillette to give humans a chance. But how could he do that now that he knew humans were the very same being that took you away from him?
Neuvillette did not cry but he just stand there, eyes bloodshot as his lips leak blood from bitting so hard, hands curl into a fist. He was mad, so mad that he wanted to end things right now. He was starting to blame everyone, the world for taking away the only good thing that ever happened to him. In his eyes were those full of hatred and is ready to explode. He would never forgive-
Neuvillette felt a weak thug on his pants, for a moment, he looked down. The first thing he noticed was the blood stained water right in front of him before the child that was holding on into him. "Ha-hydro dragon. Do-don't cry." The child sniff, tears rolling down his cheeks upon saying so.
Neuvillette does not like humans. They are a cruel and cunning being who took away the love of his life before he could even realise it was love. At the same time, these humans were the being that his love one loves very much. "Don't worry." He slowly reach out and pat the little boy's head and magically, he was suddenly dried despite the pouring rain. "The hydro dragon doesn't cry." Just like that, the rain that seemed to be drowning in sadness stopped.
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°
: I think I fucked up. Na bobo ata ako sa sunod sunod na quiz at exam kanina HAHAHA IT'S SO HOT IN THE PH HUHU
: No but seriously I think I fucked up making this asked. HAHAHAHHA did I do it right? Imma delete this na lang charot.
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moonlightspencie · 3 days
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rewatched the update video, read some posts from both people who like and dislike the update, and just finished charlie’s (mo1stcr1tikal) video about watcher. here are my complete thoughts:
Video Execution
i appreciate that they seem to have consulted with a PR person, or at the very least really sat down and thought through their approach with the video.
they didn’t try to boo-hoo themselves.
they used a lot of positive “you language” for the fans (which i very much appreciate as a media and communication person myself)
they took accountability for their mistakes, and actually uttered the word “sorry”. low bar, i know, but many apology videos still somehow slip under the bar.
they very clearly put the focus on ryan and shane in the video. it sucks a bit that they probably felt they had to since much of that was probably due to the negative comments directed at steven, but it WAS a smart move. fans feel most betrayed by the two the majority connect with the most.
it. wasn’t. overproduced. (again, low bar, but it is what it is).
overall thoughts on execution? it was smart. they look uncomfortable, and whether that’s intentional or their true feelings, regardless of why they look so uncomfy, it makes it easier to watch. they don’t look pissed or smug. they look embarrassed. which, in an apology video, is a good thing. sorry to say
The Solution
i think they came up with the best alternative they could after royally fucking up with the majority of their fans.
the patreon solution… mixed feelings. i understand they don’t want to just go forward with one or the other: the patreon or the streamer. however, as ive seen some patrons say, it doesn’t make all that much sense to have both logistically. i think it’s only set up this way because they can’t go back entirely on watcher.tv now. good on them for giving a bit of a fix with the codes being sent to patrons.
i was still lost on how they weren’t “advertiser friendly”, and that’s where charlie’s video came in to affirm my suspicions. go watch his video for more information, but long story short: watcher is a GOLD MINE for advertisers. huge and loyal audience, engaging ads that make the viewer want to watch the ad, and an ever-growing channel.
on the back of the last point: how on earth were they struggling with money to begin with? it simply doesn’t make any sense. they had so many revenue streams & again, DO get sponsors and appear to be incredibly brand-friendly.
trust is still lost with most fans, and that will be hard as hell to regain. the ex-buzzfeed three-guys-on-a-couch model didn’t even work when the try guys were fucked over by their friend and brand trust was lost a little bit. and this loss of brand trust is fully on all three dudes on the couch this time
overall thoughts on the solution? it’s good for what they can do now that they obviously cannot just fully backtrack. that would arguably be a worse idea than the original idea for the streaming service itself. i think this would have worked much better and they would have retained integrity if they had done this from the beginning, and/or had a slow rollout instead of jumpscaring us like that. ghost files is supposed to spook us, not surprise paywalls.
Final Thoughts
a ton of trust was lost. the parasocial relationship that specifically shane and ryan fans had with them, that was the REASON for so much of the loyalty, is fractured, and for many it will never be the same as it was. i understand their fuck up when it came to the announcement was likely just them needing more self-awareness and a professional to guide them through it, but i still question how it got to that point where they felt like their fans would enjoy this to begin with. not to mention, again, how were they not making enough? why not try other options first?
i hope sincerely that watcher truly learns from this. that they remember their business isn’t about money or ambition (in a positive or negative way), but is built on the backs of their fans’ loyalty. without that fan loyalty, buzzfeed unsolved would have been the only thing we knew ryan and shane for. we wouldn’t have followed them to a new channel if we didn’t care about them and their work to certain degree.
it was a good apology video. genuinely. i’m glad they didn’t jump into it with a bandaid solution. i just wish they had the foresight to know their fans well enough to understand that there is NO way this would be well received by the majority. and there’s no going back on that now, obviously. what’s past is past. i hope moving forward that they gain a little self-awareness and that they gain some FAN-awareness. until/unless they start working on television and movies, they have to keep their fans happy. we are the consumer, not the employee, and it feels like they started somehow blurring those lines with the original video they posted. it felt like one of the corporate ‘training’ videos for my job when we start using a new system.
fans are important in online spaces, particularly. we provide free advertising for our favorite bloggers/youtubers/etc., and willingly give up money to support them through various streams (in watcher’s case: patreon, merch, live shows). you cannot exist as a creator online and think that you don’t need to keep your fans happy when it is your source of income. it’s simply how being a successful internet personality works, for better or worse.
good job to the watcher boys on how they went about the apology/fix. i hope things go better from here on out.
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cardboardheartss · 2 days
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Min Hee Jin vs HYBE Scandal Interview
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⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️
Q : How are you feeling today? (QoW rx)
A : Well… I’m pissed off to be honest. I don’t know if I should be paranoid or continue fighting. I am aware that I’m causing a major uproar on social media but what else can I do?
Q : How do you feel about your secrets all being revealed lately? (5oC, 4oS, AoS, Devil rx)
A : I’m actually quite disappointed, I really didn’t think my secrets would ever be revealed to the public. I feel like running away and hiding because I’m too overwhelmed at the moment. I truly do feel embarrassed but I’m also glad I could finally be free from this company.
Q : Why did you partake in all of this shady work? ( 3oW rx, 10oS)
A : I was too impatient… I wanted to make quick money and prove to other companies that my ideas were actually unique and wil bring me successful but unfortunately my impatience completely backfired on me.
Q : Do you feel betrayed by “That guy?” (Horizontal 7oS)
A : Well… it’s 50/50 to be honest. I could say i feel betrayed but not really. I already knew he was a bad person overall, people in the industry know this guy and how much of a thief he is. But once again… I just wanted the money and now he tipped off that company.😒
Q : Do you think the reason why you got exposed was all rooted from misogyny? (7oP & WoF)
A : No lol! People in the company are just jealous their concepts and groups weren’t gaining attention and success so they decided to sabotage me.
Q : What are your thoughts on HYBE CEO’s at this moment? (4oP, 2oS, QoP, 3oC)
A : Well… they are just a bunch of money hungry dudes who wanted to steal my creations… I did not want to give them my concepts at all and I honestly should’ve been more wary because look now… we all have caused major disruption.
Q : Any words to the NEWJEANS members? (Hermit, Empress, 3oS rx, PoP rx)
A : Umm… firstly, i truly believe we all might have to part ways and I would like to apologize to all of you. I should’ve thought smarter and found safer ways to create all of our successes. I was supposed to be your motherly figure, who’d be there for you guys and continue creating beautiful projects together but instead I was really self centered and money hungry. I really don’t want to go but I have no choice but to, I’m aware it’s going to be a bit of a struggle having to heal from all of this. So many things are going to be changing for better and worse because this industry is just… full of crap but once again I am truly sorry to all 5 of you… I truly should’ve used this darn brain and my heart too.
Q : Any words for the other HYBE groups? (Magician rx, Hanged Man rx, 4oW, 10oC rx, PoC rx, QoS, 9oW rx, Death rx, 4oC & 10oW rx)
A : Eh… y’all cool I guess. To be honest I really have no words to any of them. I’m just quite unhappy and critical as to how your CEO’s used my ideas for your concepts. And good luck with continuing to having disharmony amongst each other and having creative blocks as a whole.
Q : What are your plans once this situation has “calmed down?” (Emperor, KoC, KoS rx, AoS rx, 5oC)
A : Umm… right now, I’m thinking of the present. I’m still trying to take in all of this drama and even possibly thinking of walking away for good.
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autumnsnuggling · 23 hours
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"Sorry's Not Good Enough"
Thinking about Harry growing up hearing ‘Sorry’s not good enough’ and just learning it’s pointless to apologise, as it’s just spat back in your face anyway. 
Thinking about him really struggling to apologise to people, and mainly doing so by buying people gifts or making reconciliation gestures of some kind. 
Thinking of him building a relationship with Draco, who, for all his family’s faults, always taught him the importance of apologising to the people you love.
Thinking about Draco getting more and more frustrated when, no matter what, Harry doesn’t outright apologise for things. He changes his behaviour, sure, but it still stings and reinforces old stereotypes — the golden boy, too high and mighty to consider how a lowly ex-death eater feels. And what stings more is that everytime they fight, Draco makes sure to apologise to Harry. 
Thinking about it all coming to a head after they have a stupid fight about something that doesn’t even matter, and Draco’s still a little too amped-up. When he apologises and Harry graciously accepts, saying it’s okay, Draco just sighs, the spark of annoyance reigniting in his chest instantly. Thinking about Harry just flinching, trying to shrug it off, appease Draco in some way, whilst fighting off the shame his Aunt and Uncle drowned him in as a child. Thinking about everything ramping all the way back up until they’re both yelling at each other again, and Draco just leaves, screaming about how he knew Saint Potter could never truly value a death eater as a friend. 
Thinking about Harry destroying his house until all he could do was curl into a ball and sob. 
A day goes by, then another, and then a few more, until it’s been over a week of silence on both their sides. Harry knows Draco’s waiting for him; understands he needs to reach out first and explain. Except he wouldn’t be able to, not really. He was never good with words like that. So instead, he listens to his therapist, and chooses vulnerability.
Draco knows bits about his family by now, so, after a few anxious turns around the house, he extracts a few memories of Vernon and Petunia hissing the phrase at him, and attaches it to an owl with a simple note: ‘I can’t say it, but I am. I hope you understand.’
Thinking about Draco putting off watching the memory, just to be a bit of a drama queen, and then apparating to Harry’s the moment he’s seen everything, grabbing Harry in a hug. Thinking about him murmuring over and over that he’s so sorry, he should have realised, he knew Harry was sorry anyway, he’s much to Gryffindor to not be so ‘sickeningly sappy’. Thinking of Harry clinging to him, crying just a little, yet feeling able to breathe for the first time in a week. 
Thinking about Draco learning to appreciate Harry’s unspoken apologies, acknowledging them for what they are, and always reassuring him that an apology is always good enough for him.
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nanami-simp · 3 days
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Some You Should Head North tidbits
Nanami and Gojo started dating a year before Nanami became a sorcerer again.
They're the type of couple who understand each other with looks alone.
Before Nanami left, Thursday was their date night. It's the one day both of them went out of the house with each other. To the best of their ability of course. Gojo still had to run off sometimes.
Gojo is an excellent cook (ofc since he's good at everything) so if he's free he cooks. But he hates doing the dishes. So it's Nanami doing that chore.
Their relationship was not particularly put out there. But the sorcerer sphere is small so it wasn't long before everyone knew.
They rarely had fights. Their biggest discussion was who gets what chore when they moved in together.
Nanami is actually very affectionate but not in public. PDA is always initiated by Gojo.
Yuuji has a huge sweet tooth because of Nanami's bakery. Swipes a cookie from the bakery everyday.
Sukuna while not being the most extroverted still needs to get out of the house often. He actually doesn't mind following Yuuji to school that much. It gives him time to be by himself out of the house.
Hanako (the cat) likes Sukuna more (sorry Yuuji 😔)
Sukuna loves metal music but hates using headphones and earphones cause they bother his ears. After alot of discussions (yelling) between the Sukuna and Yuuji, very soft screaming and heavy metal can be heard from the corner of the living room when Sukuna listens to music.
Every single day, Nanami does the dishes and Sukuna sits on the counter playing on his switch. That's the time they usually talk and Yuuji gets a bit of privacy.
Yuuji plays the drum and is actually really good at it! He sucks at guitar though.
Sukuna and Yuuji get along much better and they care but they still argue alot. It is a lot of screaming before they reach conclusions and compromise. Lots of them just smacking the other and it turning into full on brawls. No cursed energy is ever used though.
Nanami's starting to grey just a little. But he colours his hair too often to notice.
Sukuna often cooks lunch on their days off. It's mostly old-ish recipe but Nanami recently gifted him a recipe book so he's learning new stuff.
Sukuna reads. A l o t. He has nothing to do when Yuuji's in school so he borrows alot of Nanami's books.
He also is good at art. So sometimes he just whips out a cool sketch whereas Yuuji can't draw for shit.
Same with handwriting. Sukuna has very pretty handwriting while Yuuji has chicken scratch.
Yuuji has alot of friends but he still struggles to actually connect with anyone.
Nanami's bakery cafe is very popular with college kids in particular and much to everyone's dismay, Hanako is not allowed to be in the cafe itself.
Yuuji is extremely popular in his highschool. He also picks alot of fights (cause he can't stand people hurting others) much to Nanami's dismay.
Due to Nanami's bakery, alot of sorcery studies and sparring has been taken over by Sukuna who is surprisingly a good teacher.
Ino doesn't know where Nanami is but he did know that he was leaving.
Yuuji's planning to either take up classes to be a Firefighter or an EMT. Nanami's still pushing slightly on college.
I have alot more thoughts but this is getting a little too long lol
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chubs-deuce · 3 days
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If Vaggie does not fall in love with Charlie in your AU, who does she fall in love?
Will you give her an original character to fall in love with?
I'm still not 100% sure on the details but I am very much leaning towards the idea that they used to be together but broke up, so I'm working off of that going forward.
Vaggie I don't think ever stops loving Charlie, it just wasn't working out between the two of them and especially not with the broken trust between them.
When Dawn happens, Vaggie struggles a lot with coming to terms about it, even though the child technically wasn't one spawned from a romantic relationship. She's hurt, defensive and distant and can't make up her mind on whether or not she wants this kid as far away from her as possible or if she wants to do everything in her power to prevent Alastor from corrupting her for evil, knowing this kid also likely has a lot of Charlie's power in her. She doesn't quite know what to do with herself or what she wants her role to be in this kid's life, so that takes her a while to figure out.
Ultimately, Vaggie has to focus on learning to separate her identitiy as an individual from the cause(s) she's trying to fight for first before she can even think about getting over Charlie, let alone have her heart open for someone new - as a result I haven't really considered anyone as her romantic endgame.
I don't even think she needs to be paired up with anyone? But I think if I had to I'd probably pick Cherri bc I feel like she's a very grounded and fun-loving character that contrasts Vaggie's awkardly stiff and militaristic attitude rather nicely. Cherri is also feisty, a good fighter and brutally honest, which I think Vaggie would benefit a lot from with her tendency to easily slip into an overprotective role over the people she cares about.
Cherri simply cannot be handled with kid gloves and would drag her along for a wild ride to fun-town and teach Vaggie a lot about actually living life for fun and for herself rather than stiflingly dedicated to others. In turn, I think Vaggie's realist attitude and strong sense for responsibility and justice would help a lot in redirecting Cherri's wild, arnarchistic energy into a more productive and less self-destructive direction.
Sorry to the people who ship Cherri with Sir Pen, they're cute, but he's not really playing much of a role beyond being mentioned in passing in this AU anyways ^^"
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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 23 hours
Text
Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark
Summary:
To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?
Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?
Content warnings for this chapter: implied gambling addiction, weapons, implied violence
AO3 link: Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark (2275 words) by She_posts_nerdy_stuff
Chapter One - Jesper
Jesper was late. Again.
He ran out the door of the Slat, jacket half-pulled over his creased shirt and the second sleeve obstinately hiding from him as he rushed into the street. The staves were quiet enough at this time for his hurry to be noticeable, but he didn't have time to care about the strangers glancing at him. He glanced at his watch as he ran, almost tripping over the cobbles. Nine bells. What time had he fallen asleep? He didn’t remember getting back to the Slat, but judging by the exhaustion clinging to his bones it couldn’t have been all that long ago. Dammit, Jesper. He knew he shouldn’t have gone out last night; he knew it would only end up with him being late this morning. But here he was, once again, trying desperately to pass as someone with reasonable respectability as he flew into the university district.
He was more than out of breath by the time he reached the dean’s office, trying to straighten his jacket and smooth his hands over his shirt. It was a deeply boring outfit; a once-white button down and a brown jacket, but Jesper had to forgo his usual Barrel flash on the occasional visits he bothered to make to the university. That didn’t mean he didn’t add his own little flares, of course, but he’d been in too much of a rush this morning to concern himself with that.
“I should have a meeting scheduled,” he said, “Jesper Fahey?”
The receptionist looked him up and down disapprovingly, then opened the almost comically oversized diary sitting on her desk.
“You’re late,”
You don’t think I know that?
“Sorry,”
“He had to start the meeting after yours. Should be another five minutes, but then he has a space open. You can wait over there,”
“Thanks,” 
She made a non-committal ‘mm’ sound, turning back to her other papers. 
Jesper sat opposite the receptionist’s desk, fidgeting, eyes on the door. Why had the dean called him to this meeting? The note had been frustratingly vague, and he’d only seen it because he was coincidentally back at his term-address to collect some fresh clothes when it arrived. There were three more on the table that he’d already missed, so he decided he’d better make it to this one. Maybe they were kicking him out - he wouldn’t be surprised. At least then the decision would be made for him. But if he was expelled, would they somehow inform his father? Jesper shuffled unhappily in his uncomfortable chair.
Another minute passed before the door clicked open and two people emerged through it - the dean, a tall Kerch man in his late forties trying to hide the fact that he was clearly going bald, holding the door for a boy Jesper recognised from one of his classes. A mercher kid, someone had told him on their first day, as they watched the boy walk in and take a seat, something Van Eck. Had some sorta accident when he was a kid, been blind ever since. He looked much younger than Jesper, though he knew they must be about the same age, with soft features and angelic, ruddy curls floating around his head like gravity had taken a liking to him and given them a free pass. Jesper had to admit, he found the kid intriguing. Even in the lessons he’d shown up to, he had several times caught himself studying the boy from across the room and had to force himself to look away. Even if whatever-his-name-was didn’t know he was staring, it still felt rude.
“Thank you, sir,” he was saying to the dean as he slipped through the door, slender cane tapping the ground in front of him.
It was almost rhythmic, like a beat that was waiting for someone to add a melody. The dean had noticed Jesper, he could tell, but waited until the Van Eck kid had left the room before he said:
“Mr Fahey. You came,”
“Sorry I’m late,” he said, and then when a brief pause added: “And that I missed the previous meetings you scheduled. I, er, had a problem receiving mail,”
“I see,” he said, a little coolly, eyes flicking over Jesper, “Well, come in,”
Jesper sat in front of the desk, drumming his fingers in his chair, waiting to be told that he was expelled. But the dean just droned on and on, without the final hit ever seeming to come.
“The only class you’ve attended in the last month is Economic Principles for Business and Markets - and even for that you’ve only attended three lessons,” he was saying, when Jesper suddenly remembered he was supposed to be listening and quickly tuned in, “Perhaps we could change your course load to classes more similar to this one, see if that helps motivate you. Do you enjoy Economics?”
Jesper did not. He shrugged.
“Not particularly,”
“Then may I ask why it’s the only class you’ve consistently attended? - even if you do have twelve late marks in it across the year,”
It hadn’t really been a conscious decision. It was an afternoon class, twice a week, easy to get to at least one of them if he got himself together enough - late enough that he’d probably be awake, early enough that he probably wasn’t on a job or in a gambling den. 
“I have a partner project in that class,” he said, truthfully, “I don’t want to let anyone down,”
“Perhaps you should consider not letting yourself down, Mr Fahey,”
Saints, he didn’t hold anything back did he? Jesper shuffled.
“Who’s your partner for this project?”
“Helena Dentte,”
The dean nodded.
“I’m going to switch who you’re working with,”
Jesper wasn’t sure what good that was supposed to do, but he didn’t argue. Helena was nice enough, but she was infuriatingly motivated and it drove him slightly mad when she suggested they meet to study after almost every class - and she probably hated his guts for the curse he was to be partnered with.
“What about the rest of your course?” he glanced through the papers on his desk, “You haven’t attended Comparative Literature - Kerch and Zemeni Poetry since going once last month, your other classes longer,”
Jesper just shrugged again. He was sinking slowly but surely deeper into his chair.
“Not for me,”
“We should look at changing your classes around then. Stick with the business class, whatever’s keeping you there I want to preserve it. But think about what else you’d like to study. If not economics or literature, Mr Fahey, what are you interested in?”
Unwelcome answers offered themselves up in Jesper’s head. He shuffled.
“I don’t know,”
The dean wasn’t particularly impressed. He told Jesper to come back in a week, with at least an idea of what else he might like to study. Sure, Jesper thought, that’s gonna happen.
“I’m very glad you came to this meeting, Mr Fahey. It’s the first step in making a change, and I am only here to help you,”
Jesper mumbled something of a thanks by way of reply as he slipped out the door and slouched away down the corridor.
“Jesper,”
A girl melted from the shadows and appeared at his shoulder, making Jesper jump out of his skin. His hand flinched reflexively towards the revolver hidden in his jacket, but got no further because it only took half a second to see who was talking to him.
“Saints - Inej, you scared the life out of me,”
Inej said nothing for a moment. They walked down the corridor together, would have been shoulder to shoulder if it weren’t for the fact that Inej’s head only just reached Jesper’s shoulder. He’d known Inej Ghafa only a short while, since she’d joined the Dregs a few months ago, but he already doubted he was ever going to get used to the way she appeared and disappeared so quickly, so completely. Never mind any other spiders crawling around in the Barrel, Jesper hadn’t met anyone who could do what Inej could do - to simply erase herself like that, to only be seen when she wanted you to notice her. She was also probably the toughest person he knew - except maybe Kaz, though honestly he might be more scared of getting on Inej’s bad side. Then again, if this was Kaz’s good side maybe he shouldn’t push his luck.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, as they turned the corner.
“Take a wild guess,”
She watched him for a brief moment.
“You’re a student?”
She sounded surprised. That was probably fair.
“Supposed to be. Anyway, I might ask you the same question,”
“Kaz is angry,”
“Kaz is always angry,”
“Kaz is angry with you,”
Jesper shrugged.
“That’s hardly news, Inej. He send you here to get his money? I’ll have it by tomorrow,”
“We both know that’s not true, Jes. And he didn’t send me,” said Inej, frowning, “I came to talk to you, to say you should steer clear of him for a couple of days,”
Really? That bad? Jesper frowned. What had he done to piss off Kaz Brekker this time? 
Inej was studying him, her dark eyes roving slowly over him, her frown remaining intact. She wasn’t exactly what Jesper had expected when Kaz told him a girl from the Menagerie was going to be moving into the Slat, but he wasn’t really sure what he’d been expecting. A broken wisp of a girl, he supposed. Inej wasn’t broken, though she’d clearly taken damage, and she could hardly be described as a wisp. Jesper had seen her fight more than enough times to trust that. 
Inej also had a particular skill for the disapproving look she could get to glitter in her eyes on command - or maybe Jesper just brought it out in her. She touched two fingers to one of the knives slung through her belt, murmuring something in Suli.
“Should you really be carrying those in here?” he asked.
Jesper wasn’t actually sure how many knives Inej had, but there must have been at least five on her person at any given moment. She shrugged.
“You have a revolver in your coat,”
“Yeah, in my coat,” he shook his head, “Not on show,”
Inej shrugged.
“Maybe I’m an arts student,”
“Why would an arts student be carrying a thousand knives?”
“Art, obviously,”
Jesper snorted.
“Obviously,”
They were almost outside.
“Just, you know, don’t get arrested,”
Inej smiled.
“I think you’re giving the stadwatch a little too much credit there,” her voice suddenly moved to Jesper’s other shoulder and he turned to try and see her, “Who could possibly arrest a Wraith?”
She was gone. It was broad daylight in a wide courtyard, and Inej Ghafa was gone. Jesper shook his head. Unbelievable. 
*
Jesper didn’t know exactly what he’d done to get on Kaz Brekker’s final nerve, but he wasn’t about to go and find out. He sifted through the piles of stuff stacked unhappily in his university dorm, trying to make enough space for the room to actually be liveable. When had he last slept on campus? Not recently. Maybe it was a good thing Kaz was mad at him, if it was going to keep him out of the Barrel for a few days. Maybe he could even look through the course catalogue, to keep the dean happy, and find out whoever else he was going to partner him up with for Business and Markets. Helena would probably be glad of the change. She could take her thousand and one notebooks to someone who might actually be able to contribute something. 
But why lie? Jesper was itching for a hand of cards. He lay on his back on top of the mattress, studying the ceiling and twisting one of his rings round and round his finger. Unless he snapped and ended up running into a den and just facing Kaz’s wrath, the rings he’d slept in last night were apparently the only flash he was going to enjoy for the next few days. What other clothes did he even have here? He didn’t remember seeing much else in the wardrobe when he came to grab these the other day. He should probably check. He’d do it in a minute.
The next thing Jesper remembered was waking up, jolting upright and almost whacking into the headboard. Damn, he really must have been exhausted. How long had he slept for? He was momentarily disorientated, fumbling for his watch and discovering that it was nearing twelve bells. The curtains were still open and the midday sun streamed through them, highlighting the dust floating through the air. Jepser sighed - just his luck, the single sunny day of the year Ketterdam would bother to grace them all with, and he had slept through most of the morning. He’d needed it though. 
Almost twelve bells. He could make it to his one o’clock class - what was it? Poetry, or something - if he got himself together. Or he could just lie here a little longer, watching the world go by outside his window. 
No. No, if he was here then he should go. He should at least try. 
It was his poetry class today - he checked the timetable shoved in the desk drawer - and it proved to be just as irredeemably boring as he remembered it. But he went. He took a notebook and the fountain pen his Da had given him when he got into university. He didn’t make any notes, but he took them with him. It was something. Sort of. 
He counted it, even if only to make himself feel slightly better.
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rainofthetwilight · 3 days
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LEVI I WANNA GIVE YOU TRAMUA ABOUT ARIN
So, we all know that Arin is struggling to improve his spinjitzu and he feels useless and just wants his parents back.
…He feels jealous. And we know that he doesn’t have an elemental power according to Doc Wyatt.
And he will *probably* fight Sora if he finds out that Sora “helped” his Object Spinjitzu.
What I see from Arin is that he is slowly getting traumatized..
And I have multiple questions from where Arin’s arc is going.
My biggest question is, is the ninja holding Arin him back or his parents holding him back? I think it both.
Not to mention that there is so much foreshadowing to Arin’s arc.
And why do I imagine Arin is just trapped in like, a cage full of insecurities, or trauma? And I can imagine that he can’t get out of that cage.
Ras said that Arin is not improving since the first time they met, Egalt said that Arin is useless, Sora is improving and might be able to learn spinjitzu, and most importantly, Lloyd’s and Arin’s relationship is slowly falling apart like Wu and Morro.
My poor Arin is just having one HECK of a trauma here. And I swear to the Fsm if the writers gives Arin has even more trauma in season 2 part 2 than part 1 I will throw a chair.
But who knows…? Someone said that it was a cannon event that every sunshine character has an angst arc.
Sorry for making you insane, Levi I just wanted to share this idea with you just for fun.
And also, do you think that Arin is going through 5 stages of grief or..? Idk, I wanted to ask you and tell me what’s your thoughts on this.
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AHDHAJDBJAJDJAJSNANA YEAH I'M. I'M NOT OKAY RN 👍👍👍
also absolutely do NOT apologize for making me insane I am literally loving these asks so much bro SHDJAJDJW 😭 I love analysing silly lil lego characters w/ you all <333
the thing about the foreshadowing is that it actually feels very intentional, like obv I know foreshadowing is pretty much always intentional but like..you get what I mean?
they are constantly reminding us how much of a great person arin is, in s1 especially. he's a good friend, he's kind, he trusts people quickly, always has that hope in him and so much more. something is definitely going to happen, even if the whole sora helping him thing didn't happen, he is going to be put through the wringer whether if he actually gets an evil arc or not
plus, he already is traumatized. loosing your parents and neighborhood all in one day while navigating an entire new world with so many new places and people on your own (at first) , while only being atleast 10 years old, is pretty traumatizing all in itself. but even after all of these years, he still had hope, he still had hope that his parents and heros could come back. and guess what? his heros did come back, and what did he exactly say again?
''if I loose hope the ninja could come back, then I loose hope that my parents could come back."
even after the ninja came back, his parents didn't. all these years he relied on his hope for the ninja to come back to bring his parents back aswell, but their whereabouts are still unknown. add that to the extreme pressure of saving the world from ending and the amount of self doubt he has, that's when the shell of his hope finally began to crack
in s1, the return of the ninja gave him even more hope than he had before. he was still excited and animated, and finally got his dreams to come true (becoming a ninja). the thought of his parents holding him back didn't plague him as much as now, because that hope in him was still there and it only grew stronger each adventure. but now, even after a long while since the ninja had came back, his parents were nowhere to be found. and that just hurts
dude the insecurities part AGHDJS...the weight of being a ninja was finally becoming heavy on his shoulder and that only added to his frustration and anger of not being good enough. he sees his friends around him improve, and be useful in a way, unlike how he had failed time and time again without achieving results. and with egalt calling him useless and ras constantly reminding him how he still hadn't improved, and he feels jealous even tho he doesn't want to, and it just made everything worse.
I'm also thinking abt how sora accidently reminded him of how he didn't imporve aswell, by saying "your spinjitzu is just as good as when I met you!". and even though she meant it in absolute good faith, that's just it to arin. that's it, he was still in the same level he was the first time, he didn't improve. and with how he got angry at her when she was only trying to cheer him up after what happened, I can't even imagine what would happen if the news of that spinjitzu throw help thing comes out
ALSO. ARIN GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF. DUDE NOW THAT I THINK ABT IT..
anon had also sent an ask abt this too!!!
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so like, now that I actually think abt it, what if that hope was actually just a cover of his denial? the five stages as we all know are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance in that order. so like...what if that hope wasn't really hope, but instead a disguise for denial?
whenever the topic of his parents came up, especially in s1, he kept denying the fact they wouldn't come back. same with the ninja, he still believed they were out there
and now in s2, we see his self doubt and his trauma catch onto him. we saw how angry he was at himself, even to the point of shoving lloyd away when trying to comfort him and almost snapping at sora when she was trying to do the same. we don't see much of that 'hope' like in s1 anymore. it's much more..sadder, more angrier even
and with all this, he's most definitely going through them, now on the second stage. first in denial of his parents and the ninja not returning, and now anger at himself and the world for hating him like this
when I tell you I am so so excited to see what they do with arin's arc w/ all of this going on for his character I am not lying bro, I'm so insane AHDJSKDJJW 😭👍
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fancylala4 · 12 hours
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I saw some of you anti Ts posts they are funny and I need to Rant. sorry.
I am so FUCKING sick and TIRED of being relatable being cool! Fuck! If I wanna listen to someone they need to sound good! Way better than ME! Why is being average so overhyped! Bring back actual talent! Bring back people who can sing! Really sing. I want to be awestruck. I want to me in mesmerized. For fuckss sake Taylor Swift is only that popular because she is average and these swifties identify with her.
And fucking hell I AM SO TIRED of this bitch! I am so tired that they act like only her achievements count and as if achievements of other artists don't fucking count!
The Weeknd has a song with 4Billion streams on Spotify.
Drake has one song with 3 Billion and one with 2 Billion
Post Malone has one with 3 Billion and two with 2 Billion
Dua Lipa has four with 2 Billion
Justin Bieber has 3 with 2 Billion and 1 with 3 Billion
Coldplay has 3 with 2 Billion
Bruno Mars has 3 songs with 2 Billion
Ed Sheeran has 3 songs with 2 Billion and 1 song with 3 Billion
Taylor fucking Swift just recently as one song with 2 Billion streams! ONE! if she is so big? Why doesn't she have more? I can answer you this. Because her stupid fans only care about first week streams. They care about getting her on the chart. That is what spotify and billboard pushes. These morons will mass play her music all night so it get streams. It's so embarrassing.
If she didn't release shit constantly and her stans weren't some pathetic losers wanting her to chart so she just charts there is no WAY in fucking hell she could compete with todays artists.
Fucking hell and they compare her to Michael Jackson! Taylor Swift does not have the LONGEVITY. SHE DOES NOT. Not Mariah Careys, Britney Spears, Elton John or the Beatles. There's more but here's a few.
Michael Jackson had a top ten hit in 5 DIFFERENT DECADES. ( 6 if you count the Jackson 5) And probably will have another one after the biopic comes out!
If Taylor Swift would do this she would have to be able to have a TOP TEN HIT in 2030 and 2040. There is no way she would be doing this.
Mariah Carey in 4 DECADES SINCE THE 90'S!
Britney Spears the same as Mariah!
Elton John in four from the 70's- 20's missing the 00's and 10's.
The Beatles in the 60's 70's 90's and 20's.
Like i hate it so much how much this woman is pushed! And swifties gon act like as if she is the only artist being this succesful! SHE IS NOT! It's more impressive that Rihanna still gets high streams beside not releasing anything for YEARS! BTCH i wanna see Taylor Swift not releasing anything for 7 Years and see where she's at. Let's find out. But this woman is to coward to ever do that. She is so damn desperate for validation it's embarrassing.
HOW THE FUCK IS SHE NOT EMBARRASSED WINNING ALL THESE AWARDS OVER PEOPLE WHO ARE 10 TIMES MORE TALENTED THAN HER?!
This btch is absolutely not humble because i would be embarrassed. Literally. It's like how can you shit as tour gain so much money when you know you can't dance and are a mid singer.
And these faces of acting shocked when she wins an award! With that open mouth and GOD! Yes we get it you won again "suprisingly."
How the fuck does she have more AOTYs than any other fucking artist ever? How the fuck does this mediocre ass woman have more than Janet, Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder.
And don't let me start on her victim card that she has used has her brand since fucking Kanye West had to go up on stage and embarrass her. He literally started this whole shit. You can never criticise her for anything. Because if you do you are a misogynist who just hates succesful women. She's always the fuckin victim and swifties romanticize it so much! They want her to be this struggling underdog who rose to fame cause that is what fits their damn wattpad story!
Taylor Swift wants to be the Man. She wouldn't be as succeaful if she was a man. Point blank period. Her shield to protect her self from any criticism wouldn't work. The only thing she has to be oppressed about is being a woman thats why her and swifties milk it so fuccking hard!!!
Thanks, and it’s ok. This whole blog is just a bunch of rants anyways.
But everything you said was true. I didn’t know she of all people have more aoty awards than those you mentioned. This just proves that the Grammys are a joke.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months
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Redraw of my first post on this blog. Oh how far we've come B'*)
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dunmeshiminimumwage · 1 month
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back when i worked at [large chain coffee store], i tried to unionize my workplace. my manager sat me down and gave me a very guilt trip-y talk. lots of "but i thought we were a family :(" and "you don't *really* know what unionization does, do you?" i played dumb and managed to avoid being fired, but. chilchuck momence.
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seagull-scribbles · 1 year
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what if they where T4T?! What then?
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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months
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one of my fave things about teaching is that I’m NOT a counselor and I don’t have to get into the weeds with a student but also I’m part of their life every day and i see when they’re struggling and I can ask how them how they’re doing and make sure that they know I see them on a steady, daily basis and it will be healing for both of us
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autisticlee · 13 days
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you know what, it's autism acceptance month. that means all the cool, nice, outgoing, fun people should adopt an autistic person (me) as a friend and show them what it's like to have cool and fun friends! most of us struggle with that and don't know what that's like, so in the spirit of acceptance, please accept us into your friend groups :D
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yuri-is-online · 3 months
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YOOO YOU'RE AUTISTIC TO? FUCK YEAH!
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Honestly seeing people put their scores in the tags of that Raads post has been wild because yeah. I'm autistic and it's weird having a little community of people who are also autistic following my stuff. I don't know how I feel about it because I have a lot of complicated feelings around my diagnosis and I don't want to project that onto other people.
c: but it is so very nice to know I'm not alone.
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