#sorry I've been venting alot

[maareyas]

.

anyways my job interview was moved to tomorrow and i am so emotionally exhausted that i'm considering giving it up entirely simply because I feel like sludge being stuffed into a way-too-tiny box right now

#vent #sorry if i've been making these types of posts alot #it's been a very rough few days and i'm not even sure if i'm allowed to be upset #i wiiiiiish i existed in a vaccuum and not as part of a complex network of lives each with their own vast richness

[dragonridernoobie]

I am back>:D if you have watched Jazmin hotel or seen TikTok’s of it, then you should understand what I mean when I say NIFTY READER! A reader who is like Nifty>:D

If you have not seen videos of nifty, here is one to help you:>

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRT9usnT/

For bayverse Optimus, TFP Shockwave, TFP Soundwave, and TFP Ratchet>:3

Thank you! Make sure to take care of yourself

Yes, I've seen it, who hasn't? IL 100% do this, hope you like it! Sorry it took a bit, been shiny hunting on pokemon.

TransformersXNiftyReader

Optimus prime (bayverse)

When optimus met reader, it was when the decepticons destroyed part of the city.

He was trying to get thru the city to get to the decepticons who were somewhere in the city.

While he drives thru the city, he came across reader who was running around, cleaning.

He tried to tell them that this place was not safe but quickly can see the this human...was diffrent.

Reader was running around, giggling, cleaning and actally dusting off broken prices of the building.

Reader noticed optimus and somehow got on his shoulder without noticing him.

Reader asked alot of questions like "new you the bad guy?" And "are you a girl robot?" And "how can you die?"

(Comome, have you seen the bayverse optimus? He got some good as tits)

Optimus told them to go to safety but nifty said no.

2 weeks later, optimus now has a little, word, and Violent. Friend.

Ratchet TFP

When ratchet met reader when they arrived at base with the kids.

He was amazed how fast reader was and how......weird reader was.

Though, he won't say he liked reader more then the other kids but you can tell.

He liked reader since she actally helps and keeps the base clean...a little to clean.

I think ratchrt had a mini spark attack when reader came to him, covered in energon, and holding a now dead spark.

Yyyaaaaaaaa, she killed the decepticon who hurt him.

Let's say ratchet now was scared of reader.

Ratchet made sure to set some ground rules on what to do and what not to do.

Reader dident like them but understand.

Ratchet usually was alone at base so he was kinda happy reader was there to talk tohim.

Even if reader was chasing after the cockroach.

Soundwave TFP

When Soundwave met reader, is when he gets a notification that there's a breach on the ship.

When he went to go look for the intruder, he wasn't expecting to find a human, stabbing a now dead trone, yelling, "STAB! STAB! STAB! STAB!"

Soundwave used his tentacles to grab ahold of reader, but failed since reader was just to quick.

Que, reader hiding on the ship.

Reader hid in the wall and vents.

Only coming out to attack any unexpecting victims.

Soundwave was actally enjoying himself with reader, since he actally had somome and something that can give him a run for his money.

So, he left food and water out.

Gave up trying to catch reader but doesn't hurt to try once in a while.

Megatron dosent need to know.

Shockwave TFP

When Shockwave met reader, it was when Soundwave cought them (form his story) and brought them to him.

Soundwave showed the recording of reader killing one of the drones.

This peaked Shockwaves intrest.

So Shockwave starts to try and experiment on reader.

It fails.

Reader keeps escaping the holding container and dosent run away

Oh, no, no no no

Reader becomes the most annoying shit ever

They start to distroy his lab.

Anything that can be pushed off, destroyed by water, anything.

This pissed off Shockwave so bad.

At the end, he just threw reader out of the air lock to get rid of them.

Que, reader runturning. 😈😈😈

My shiny end-game team!

#headcanon #optimus x reader #optimus prime x reader #optimus bayverse #shockwave tfp x reader #soundwave tfp x reader #ratchet x reader #tfp ratchet

[daisiesandgiggles]

A note from Daisy......

I have something that needs to be said. As alot of you know, I am the co host and host of multiple theme days here @daisiesandgiggles . I've been at it 6 years now and its truly my passion. But I am Not the same girl I was then and I make NO apologies for that. TO ANYONE! Read that again!☝️

To those of you who feel I am not doing a good job at hosting because I'm late, let me just say this....A year and a 1/2 ago I was diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder. It affects my memory and a ton of other things that are no fun. Along with my spinal and cervical issues life for me has tremendeously changed. I say this to you not because I want pity so please refrain from filling this post with I'm sorrys. What I'm asking for is a little bit of compassion and some Grace. Give me a break because I truly am doing the best I can and I HATE that I can't be the same Daisy I used to be. I've lost friends here that I love dearly because of it. The recent passing of my Sister @dreaming-in-crimson made me realize how prescious the moments we have with people are. I wish I could get some of those moments back but sadly I cant. Guys.... I dont know how much longer I'll be around so I'm gonna use my time here to spread love and positivity while I can. And when I'm gone one day, I hope that at least one person will remember me as the girl who tried her best to spread love and laughter. Even if I fail... I wont quit trying. To those who I've offended or upset please know it was unintentional. A forgotten post or missed tag or message... my brain doesn't funtion 100 % like it used to, but Just know I appreciate each and every one of you. This community means alot to me.

Thank you for letting me vent. And again, please no Pity comments. If you want to send notes of encouragement or positivity I will certainly welcome those, but just because I'm slowing down doesn't mean I'm down for the count. Your girl has still got some fire left in her.

Xoxo,❤️🌼

#My truth #It had to be said

[minthe-drawings]

Hi! I've been a follower for a while and I really like your art! I admire you alot!! When I was 19 I was dating a 24 year old, and the whole thing really messed me up. Seeing you post age gaps was really scary to me, so I wanted to ask you what's so appealing about an age gap between a teen and an adult you can't get from two adults? Like from a 25 & 30 year old? Or 30 & 40? Sorry for the disruption, enjoy ur day!

Hello there! <3

Thank you for being kind, admiring me, and liking my art! <3

---

tw // sexual assault, rape

I am so sorry that happened to you, and I can fully relate. My first ever relationship was when I was 18 and my boyfriend was 26. He groomed me to be his perfect little girlfriend and then raped me constantly. It fucked me over a lot and left me traumatized.

And as for the age gap au.

It's just me imagining how a step 3 Scar(19) would react to a step 4 Baxter(24) also vice versa. It's all about exploring a dynamic I'm familiar with and then wanting to showcase a wholesome version of it despite the age difference.

Maybe I am projecting. Maybe I wanted something I can control. That would make me feel seen and safe. Despite the abuse I experienced the content I consume is mostly wholesome. But there are times I just want to let loose.

I don't ever create that dark of a content. Heck baxscar is my biggest comfort ship atm. No matter what happens they'll always have a happy ending. Something I wish happened to me. Now its suddenly being used against me (not you anon, I have been dogpiled on twt over this art, some old threads, and venting about being vague posted).

I'm tired. I'm suicidal. I just wanted to draw.

And share it with you guys.

(I'll be closing anon asks after this)

#tw // vent #tw // sa #tw // rape #tw // abuse #tw // grooming #tw // suicide #mintheposts

[glitchysquidd]

Obviously don't have much context other than all that has been shown on tumblr but I wanted to get this cleared for me. I keep seeing people talk about how Melo should of kept it private but isn't Kazachi a Public Figure, he makes a living off of voice acting and twitch streaming a very public thing. He should of been called out publicly no matter how popular he is right? I'm really sorry if this comes off aggressive or idiotic, I have a problem with that and I really do mean this with genuine confusion and frustration, I feel like Melo had the right to publicly bring up not good actions done in private by a person who's job it is to be a role model and need to have sway on peoples thoughts and feelings to make a living? Am I not understanding this correctly? /gen

This is gonna be the last question I answer because I just want to move on from it but this is a completely valid question.

Yes Melo had the right as a person entirely, but it did not have to be taken to the internet. We were all friends and I thought Melo was mine?

But I guess they see me as a racist.

Same with Kaz.

Kaz said the N word in the context he was reading an offensive meme, he's POC a person of color. Doesn't make it right still I know, he apologized to melo in dms as a friend for saying it.

He said it once, still okay? No.

But not a reason to bring it to the internet.

Melo and Kaz were friends.

Melo brought it up to me and I very stupidly said with complete arrogance that basically

"yeah he makes racist jokes and is casually racist all the time!"

He doesn't.

That... is my fault, for spreading misinformation to a friend of mine about another friend.

I'm wrong for that.

I'm bad for that.

And I said that

"The n word doesn't matter its just a word"

That was arrogant of me as well. It's not just a word, it carries meaning behind it and you guys helped tell me that.

I've grown up in NY in a pretty small town.

I've grown up thinking, it's just a word because it used to make me uncomfortable bc so many people said it. I was told to grow up, get thicker skin, and that I'd be fine because it's just a word people like using. Everone says it in my town, doesn't matter your race they all say it.

I thought it was normal so I said what I said to melo, without realizing others have different experiences and others know it's bad.

I didn't know that.

But Melo didn't talk to me as a friend that I was in the wrong, we were good friends, we drew together, we laughed at stuff, we vented to each other. I thought Melo would tell me if I did something bad or wrong, or something that made them uncomfortable but they didn't...

Maybe they thought I'd yell at them?

I'm not sure...

But we were friends.

And I was even planning on asking to hang out with them until this happened. Because I hadn't done so in alil while.

This is something we could have talked about together. And I'm sorry they were to scared to talk to me as a friend and just blocked me and posted it.

No one seems to just correct friends on behaviors or things they say anymore.

It's the internet now.

They just block and post it online.

I understand if the situation were hurtful, like physically or mentally.

Maybe this had been bothering them for awhile but.. I thought they'd tell me if ive done something wrong.

I've had alot of friends this year find out I'm not growing up in a great place and they are correcting me on certain things that are okay to say or do. And I'm becoming a better person because of it.

At the end of the day I'm just an young idiot.

barely a adult honestly.

I literally know barely anything, school doesn't teach it, my parents don't either.

So my friends teach me.

I'm trying to still learn my rights from wrongs.

And Kaz in his own way is sorta too?

I don't know much personal info about him but yeah.

I don't know the environment he's grown up in but I know he's had friends pressure him to say it before or at least tell him to multiple times.

And I know he came to me upset after it happened, he felt bad, and uncomfortable with himself.

He never meant it in a malicious way or with malicious intent.

Btw you're not idiotic or anything, this question is out of genuine confusion.

I appreciate it.

Edit: it also ends up involving everone close to each other. I've had my brother receive a message and even a friend of mine from others.

I don't know if others had the same issue but it's making more problems than solutions...

[gideongrovel]

rambling vent (still on my trip tho, sorry for the inactivity for those who didn't know)

Last full on my trip rn but i am feeling exhausted,,,, 😭😭😭😭 Tomorrow will be heading home,,, thinking about all the airport stuff has me stressed (not the flying part, I like being high up, its just like the security and people stress me),,, 😓

The trip has been fun mostly,,, but not relaxing in the slightest 😓😓😓 Its been nice to see my older brother since we can geek out about OP together in person, and he like gave me some gifts for it,,,,, but without getting into it,,, there are reasons i dont like being around him either,,, so its a mixed bag 🫤 and my dad is such a misogynist and bigot having to hear the shit he says and not being able to leave when he says it is infuriating 🙄🙄🙄🙄

I am such a shut in, and normally leave the house like maybe 5 times a month if even that,,,,, so going out and about for 9 days straight is alot for me- i know thats nothing to most "normal" people,,,,, but for someone in my life/situation it's alot,,,,,,, being around people and being active so much has me drained completely 😓😓😓😓😓 Im feeling such burn out,,,, and I miss my cats (especially my lil baby ET,, she is very codependent towards me so I've been worried how she has been holding up 😢), also since i was scared of them getting broken or stolen on the plane- i didnt bring my Chop or Brook figures and i miss them too!! I need my wife and bf 😭😭😭😭 Not bring my main comfort items was a big mistake,,, but the stress of something happening also was too much- so I couldn't win either way,,,,

I always feel awful when I get this level of burn out / sad feeling on a trip,,,, they're supposed to be a good time but I've held back from crying a few times now,,,, I just wanna be home in my own bed, shower where im familiar with, being able to do stuff on my own pace, just like my regular routine stuff in general 😭😭😭😭 At the same time going back home means having to deal with some family i dislike being around- which I am not looking forward to,,,, 😓😓😓

Burnout sometimes will put me in depressive episodes, and feeling emotional highs my crashing is always bad,,,,,, 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓

ALSO I MISS GETTING ON HERE!! IM MISSING SO MUCH NOT BEING ABLE TO CHECK ANYTHING 😭😭😭😭 tumblr crashes too much for me to check anything on my phone,,,, i really hope yall are doing good,,,, like idk if my absence has been noticable or cared about? (/nm) but i do miss yall alot,,, miss seeing your creations and ships 😭😭😭 it will be too much to check 9days worth on everyone pages so i am sorry for everything i missed

-

But anyways just have to make it though today and the flights tomorrow 😭 then things can go back to normal

#this is incoherent my thoughts are jumping around but this is typed off the dome so sorry about that #my post #also i dont have the energy to read it over so sorry for the typo or any autocorrects that make this hard to read

[super87nova]

Hi everyone, it's been a VERY VERY long time hm?

Sorry about that! Anyways, here's some extremely old Megaman battle network art I made.

Alot of people like this, and this is my most popular art piece to date. I have no idea what they see in this, it's not even suggestive either.. I'm proud of it, but I can do MUCH MUCH better.

I'm posting here because I wanna say a bit, and I feel bad if I bloat my other socials like DA and whatever the hell twitter is now.

I've been extremely sad, and very low energy, not even enough to get out of bed, I have a YouTube channel called N::AyanoNova::L which I post voice diaries called iNDiGOLogs, I've recorded 3 of them, but I'm back at square one of being afraid to post them, afraid to view the ones I already have. The feeling of hatred towards myself is getting worse now, before I can ignore it, but now it's getting over bearing, I don't even wanna talk with my friends anymore because of it, they deserve a friend not a patient. I also have another YouTube channel that's secretly public, I'm not going to tell you it, but if you look around on my profile and put your ARG thinking hats on, I think you'd find it, if you want too, that channel is for my more unfiltered self that's not happy.

I miss my best friend, I miss talking to her, she commissioned my icon and since we are no longer friends, but I still love her and miss her deeply, I can't change it and I sadly don't have the original picture...

I just want this all to end, I wanna go back in time, I don't wanna deal with this, i can't, I don't fit in any where, not on the internet or in reality.. I want my sis back, I want my mom to be alive again, I want to be pretty, I want to be skinny, I don't want my huge tits anymore, because that's what all people freaking see and care to talk about, I want a job, I want to support my doggo, I wanna post my stories and art and wanna live that life that people on DA, Tumblr and YouTube live, where they can freely share their creative stories without being scared and have videos about them, no matter how stupid and dumb it is... Ugh Sorry for venting.

I have another blog where i post my dreams and now daydreams and stories I make with Character.ai due to not wanting to put my 2 friends through horrible rps of characters they don't care about xD I'll read the dreams I have there, and try my best to not think negative and to just escape...

Enjoy the picture, I'll try and be more active here.. But no promises, because I'm forgotten, I do like how I drew Roll and MegaMan, Ugh one more question if you read this far, What can I do to improve!? I can't figure out why my art looks so muddy and gross.. Please help me ^^

#art advice #sketch #drawings #digital artist #vent #vent post #megaman #megamix #battle network #megaman battle network #rock n roll #rockman #rockmanbattlenetwork #megaman.exe #roll.exe #anime #fanart #video games #gaming #doodle #i'll try and post more art #artist problems #my art #artwork #capcom

[subpixie420]

I won't lie you do complain alot more but we know life's tough and this is your blog, you're entitled to complain all you want

Tbh I used to complain a whole lot more on the gabbigabriella blog

I was in an actual physically abusive relationship while posting on that blog and I was homeless while I had that blog

Tbh I look at that blog as the one I complained and vented on a ton before I got a real big following from my content creating.

I guess what I'm saying is I've always been like this I've always expressed myself when life is hard on Tumblr because it was the only place that didn't make it seem foolish to do so (like Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, Twitter etc it would be considered cringier)

Sorry for complaining I guess. Thanks for being honest.

#idk ive always been this way.... #sad spouts for a few years #and then a few years of processing and healing #rinse and repeat

[creation-help]

Hiya! I’m here because I’m conflicted about pursuing an idea for a creative project that’s been popping into my brain a lot lately.

I’ve been convincing myself to stick to simpler and more light hearted stories because I don’t think I have what it takes to follow such an ambitious goal.

I do really want to end up making something out of it, but my current drawing skill level and my certainty that it’ll just be lost in the sea of other better stories and never get any attention is really turning me away from it.

I’m not sure of what to do anymore. Sorry if your not currently answering asks, your under no pressure to respond to me

Dear fuzzyman, I understand wanting to limit what you do to avoid unneeded stress and keep things casual, in order to keep it more fun. But I strongly recommend you don't limit yourself in what you want to do, just bc you think it wouldn't turn out good enough! I understand that feeling too, I have many things like that for myself, and I've been through the crushing ordeal, of putting alot of passion into an ambitious project only for it to crash or sizzle away slowly and painfully (the reason this blog exists, actually, fun fact). I've talked about it fairly often on this blog by now, but social media really is ruining artists on a large scale. Getting engagement feels rewarding, and it's natural to want recognition for what you do and to be seen by other people, bc heck we put alot of effort and just, alot, emotionally speaking, into our art. The way social media has become a fast consumption, blow up now or remain a nobody forever -kind of landscape really abuses that. Unfortunately alot of it is done intentionally to benefit businesses, not people. Anyhow.

I wanted to say all that to acknowledge that your fears are founded, and valid, but despite all that I also want to say all this that follows.

Your drawing level doesn't dictate how well you make things. It doesn't dictate what you should or shouldn't try. You do. If you truly want to make something even though it would be challenging, then you do that! If you want to wait on it and gather fuel for the fire slowly then you do that! I know it's easier said than done but prioritize yourself as an artist over the final product. Why do you create? I know some create just to share, and some just to get recognition, and while both have their own negative sides (and I wouldn't recommend the latter to anyone), they're still legit reasons to create. I'm not gonna tell people why they should or shouldn't make art. If they have the want and drive to make it, that's about it. Art in itself is just about making things to express or vent out some feeling or idea.

However you did say yourself that you really want to make something out of it. So while I wanted to acknowledge the complexity of these things, if you're here to just get that push to finally do it, I'm doing that to you now! I'm pushing you (gently). Do it even if it would only be seen by some few people, do it even if you're afraid of it not reaching up to your standards, bc guess what that's okay! Nothing can be perfect and art is never done. You'll continue to learn and improve over time if you work on these things and look into it, bc storytelling is also something that can require alot of learning and effort. Don't let that intimidate you, bc you aren't one of those other artists who, in your eyes, does it better, and you're also not the person who has already failed. You're a person who has an idea they want to pursue. You're the artist that can do exactly what you can do, and that is unique to yourself. And that is enough. Focus on that. And I do promise, every other artist has these same doubts, and the people you look up to have their own struggles. And that you can and will improve in these things as you go along. I really really encourage you to ignore the numbers and make bc of what you want to make, and out of the passion for what you do. It can be very hard, I know, but I promise it's better for you in the long run.

And like I've said before, it's not "That cake is way better than mine", it's "Yay more cakes!".

However if you don't feel ready to tackle this project yet that's fine. Neither you nor your story is a failure for not existing, or being left incomplete. Every creation is just it's own experience. That said you can come here to share your story and I can boost the stuff you make! All the best, fuzzyman

#Ask #artist inspiration #artist positivity #Help #artist motivation #Important #Artists on Tumblr #writing positivity #creatives on tumblr #This is just alot of words for: It's fine! Just do it if you want to! #And I stand by that

[seraphdreams]

https://www.tumblr.com/seraphdreams/734650996278558720/hey-seraph-i-know-i-vented-to-you-about-some

Thanks for letting me vent. It means alot to me. And thanks for showing your boundaries as well. If I ever make you uncomfy please let me know. Its also gonna be really long so I hope you don't mind.

It's just that I've been feeling alot more blue since the wedding becuase its just that ever little noise my (POS) younger brother has been making to trigger like roughly barging into my door so that it jiggles and stomping around for the same effect. Its gotten to a point where I can no longer differtiate between the two. Like he hasn't externally been bothering but he's been doing sly shit like slamming himself against my doorknob to jiggle it (what's the word?) And its not even rough its just softly enough to trigger me. And then hes been coming in to the room I'm in, looking at me as if I'm worth less than the scum is his shoe and leaving and after he's already triggered me in just put even lower in terms of mood and self esteem and he's made me feel like I wa sshit and that I have nothing good about me. And he even did it yesterday when I was trying to sleep and he was rocking back and forth and it was really triggering and I wanted to bang on the wall but I was afraid of him and I didn't want to fight him becisse I was afaird of him banging on my door and the general backlash which could cause a fight pulling my hair out (he does that during fights) and he's always just provking me to try snd fight him just so that he can beat me up. And then there's the fact that I cant talk to nobody about it bc my therapist discharged me for three months (that's their policy) and I'm still on the waiting list for counselling and I can't talk to my mum bc she dont fully understand or says that he doesn't (as much as I love her to bits) and I can't talk with my sister bc the last time I ranted to her about ruining my plans we got into an argument and I blocked her. And then on top of that I traumadumped my sisters best friend (who was my designated friend for the day) becuase she knew about the family drama and I thought it was safe to tell her and I also told her about being flirted with by a guy but I thought it was a joke and she reassured me (said that I was above average - beautiful black girl tm) but then she said that I was insecure and constantly looking for validation which alot of girls don't like and even guys and it makes me realise that I do it alot. And I just keep reacting and giving him a reaction bc I get triggered easily and I just don't know how to properly articulate what I'm feeling bc nobody in my family will even listen to me and even say that I'M the one terrifying him. And I talked with teachers and counsellors about it but they just say that all siblings fight like that.

Can you give me advice on how not give him a reactions. Or how to cope with his bullshit. Also what do I do if I am reacting. Sorry for dumping his on you, I just need someone to tell who will listen and not dismiss me.

i just want to say i’m sorry that all of this is happening and people should not be dismissing you especially the ones that are there to help you. that’s no “sibling fight” that’s straight up abuse. and though i’m not well versed on the subject of siblings, i just think that to stop giving a reaction you should stop caring. if i do remember correctly, you said your brother was younger? in that case, it’s futile to give into him since he’s younger and not important.

let’s switch the narrative here — instead of thinking that you’re the problem, think of his behavior. people who are happy with themselves don’t ruin others’ day. in conclusion, he’s just bitter and acting like a child and in that case he needs to grow up. his actions don’t reflect you.

now all of this won’t happen in a day, and if you find yourself reacting just remember that it’s normal in the healing process to fall back, but that just means you gotta push two steps forward. also find things to distract you or rewire your brain from reacting. when you find him provoking you, just think of something else besides his annoyances. something that makes you happy or calms you down. or just switch your focus to a whole new task/topic

#again #i’m really sorry this is going on #no one deserves to live a life like this #i will say #families tend to coddle the men/boys more which results in neglect in the girls/women #if you’re able to #you should bring up that topic to get to the root cause and maybe this will awaken your family members to think about how they treat you #and him #seraph.replies!

[xx-burn1ng-h0ll0w-xx]

comfort,,,

I'd figure I'd post this little gif I made for my animation, also,, im just gonna vent here a little, if nobody minds lol

hhh things have been getting better for me as of lately, I've gotten some meds that have really progressed my mood, and my batim/batdr au has been a really big comfort for me as of lately, I daydream alot about it and I like going there and just talking with ink dad,,, I'm glad he lets me call him father honestly,,, he's the best dad I ever had,,, and I hope nothing bad ever happens to him,,, he's gone through so much and I'm glad I showed up,,, we helped eachother out alot with stuff,,,, and I'm glad I'm sharing my stuff about me and him with you guys here,,, I may be delusional asf but honestly I don't care anymore,,, I try to cope in the best way I can and it seems to work out for me just fine,, I love my ink dad, he's been there for me for a long time,, even through all the rough bits,, he still helped me,,

hhhh sorry if that seemed cheesy,,,, I just felt like dumping out some feelings here,,,

#hhh im gonna go 2 sleep now #its very late here #batim #batdr #maladaptive coping #batim oc #batdr oc

[legendaryskeletonpicklewolf]

Katagawa jr x reader pt1

(This fanfic takes place during before and during the war between atlas and mailwan also the gender of y/n is up to the reader)

Y/n was a well known promethan assassin they kill without hesitation, some people call them a "heart-less monster" but they don't care as long as the contract is done and their payed it was all fine, they mostly take contracts from corporations (mostly maliwan and tourge) But y/n was specifically close with the katagawa family specifically one in particular katagawa jr, they were katagawa's childhood friend they were always there for katagawa whenever he needed to vent or just talk about work, y/n was basically katagawa's right hand man..but y/n had to leave they had some contracts that were on Athens and pandora when katagawa heard this he was distraught,they reassured him that it'll only be awhile they promised, they'll come back and that they'll be back before he knew it...

It's been 10 years..katagawa had already killed his siblings on the zanarra, he always imagined y/n by his side always so eagar to do whatever he wanted them to do, and ya maybe he did imagine them in his arms while he watched his siblings being killed or them on his lap while he rules out business...he misses them alot they were his only friend they were the only person who actually cared about him AND what makes it even more special is that they werent being paid to hang around him..they were his everything. They've had this dream of running the company just him and y/n but y/n's not next to him...but that's okay they'll come back...they promised.

Y/n just finished a contract on Athens when they saw mailwan ships appear in the sky one by one they flooded the sky. They were confused maliwan never sent someone to come pick them up before, then mailwan troops dropped down one with a specific general his name was "general traunt" he announced that they were looking for a "vault key" 'why would they be looking for a vault key?' One of locals told them to piss off..they got their head blown off, everyone started to run and hide in fear y/n started to try to find a fast travel near them, they still had some contracts to do on Athens but they decided it was time for a quick stop home to the katagawa's family front door cause y/n had some questions..alot of questions.

Katagawa was coming back to his office when he found y/n sitting in his chair along with nermoruss papers spread across the desk,he was speechless after all this time there they were "so what's this children of the vault thing you made a deal with?" "Oh and also when were you allowed to "merge and make deals" with other companies jr?" "I made some changes to the corporate latter and look at me now I got an office with a beautiful view oh and that children of the vault thing ya they helped me because you know you left for 10 years.." "I know and I'm sorry kat I really am I've just been so busy with the whole assassin thing i guess i could have called but I didn't kno-" they were cut off by katagawa kissing them.

He pulled them in by the hips one hand laying on their hip and one cradling a side of their face while he was kissing them passionately, they broke the kiss after awhile "i....I was in the middle of talking you know" "mmmm..and?" They kissed him "your so weird jr..I love you tho" they said kissing his cheek he grinned at their action, he sat down and yanked them down onto his lap y/n chuckled "where are the others? you know your siblings where are they? i actually couldn't wait to have a talk with Sana.." he froze for a second "oh yeah um about that...when i said i made sone changes to the corporate latter..i uh killed off my siblings" y/n thought it was a joke so they giggled a little then they saw jr.'s expression...he was serious "YOU KILLED YOUR SIBLINGS!? KATAGAWA JR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?"

They yelled as they got up from his lap, "well what was I supposed to do? You were 'busy on Athens' and I had plans no our plans to finally take into action it was the right thing to do!!" "No the fuck it was... killing them!? Jr come on you know bett-" "I DID WHAT I SAW RIGHT!" katagawa yelled he looked veryyy angry " ya well what you saw what was right wasn't actually right!! That was actually pretty fucked up.." "you say that but you literally kill for cash I mean you could work here at mailwan for me-" "I would never work here...you've changed you know, bandits now, katagawa your trusting and making deals with BANDITS NOW!?" "You have no room to talk, y/n your literally a bandit but I still love u more than life itself" 'what did he just say?' Y/n thought. It was silent for awhile "did you just call me a bandit katagawa?"

He froze 'oh shit' jr thought "I mean you are bandit like....but your no bandit.....my love?" y/n stared at him with an angry expression y/n was hurt it. Jr saw this and walked over to them "I'm so sorry y/n i went too far...i didnt mean it" y/n turned away with a sad expression on their face and said "I should have just talked to your dad" y/n turns away and starts to walk away.

"oh ya no go ahead leave me for another 10 years leave me wondering if your okay go ahead" they turned around listening to what katagawa said "the only reason I left was BECAUSE OF MAILWAN jr..God I can't do this with you right now" "can't do what?" They argued for about an hour more before jr grabbed them and hugged them close "I'm sorry...we took this way to far y/n"

Everything started to calm down a little, and they started talking to him. I still want an answer to my question" "what was your question again?" "Why are you making deals with bandits? I thought you hated people like that" " I do but they have something we could use against atlas and once I'm done with this war which will be soon we'll kill them on the zanarra and get rid of their shitty, smelly cult they have my darling" "you plan on killing them? That's my boy, " they say with a smile as they kiss him on the cheek.

"Now I have to get back to work I gotta fill out these forms and...oh I'm done for the day after that!" "What do you say y/n me and you could cuddle up and watch our favorite movie just like when we were kids" "I'm down I mean if u want to of course" "yes of course love after this well do that! I'm actually excited" "me too kat me too" (time skip to them cuddling up in bed watching the movie) "mm have I ever told you how soft your thighs are y/n?" They blushed "n-no you haven't" "well they are just the softest thighs I've ever touched" He grazed his hand over their thighs, they stared into each other's eyes admiring each other when they were interrupted by the movie starting they got excited y/n and katagawa had no distance between each other as they layed next to each other.

The movie is half way through now and y/n already fell asleep katagawa was starting to talk to them when he noticed them asleep he smiled and he turned off the TV placing the TV remote on the bedside table. He turned back over to them snuggling into them y/n moaned a little and katagawa giggled "goodnight love sweet dreams" He said as he kissed their forehead and started to drift off to sleep....

Tag: @handsomemilo <3

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #rhys strongfork #tftbl #katagawa x reader #katagawa jr x reader #katagawa jr bl3 #katagawa jr #bl3 katagawa jr #borderlands 2 #handsome jack #tales from the borderlands #borderland pre sequel #borderlands pre sequel #rhys ntftbl #ntftbl #handsome jack x reader #rhys borderlands #borderland pre sequel #borderlands atlas #new tales from the borderlands #borderlands fanfiction #borderlands x reader

[1o1percentmilk]

hi! regarding your social queues post

i feel like i'm experiencing a thing that's a bit similar to what you are dealing with down to the "I'm not autistic but this shit isn't neurotypical" thoughts (and if not, I'm really sorry for an impromptu vent just ignore all of this please and have a kitty ฅ/⁠ᐠ•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠ᐟ⁠\ฅ)

several of my prev psychologists link it to general anxiety and social awkwardness and yeah, that sounds reasonable, but what bothers me is that idk how to improve

i tend to overthink everything I say to the point where, even though I know what a normal response should look like I can't convince myself that what I said/wrote is articulated in a way that doesn't sound dumb/conveys literally the opposite of what I'm trying to deliver. answering a message after days of silence, which actively worsens my relationships, while I fear that answering with a 'stupid' message would be even worse or agonising over a comment I'm trying to leave on someone's work because, well, I think it's neat and cool and I want the artist/author to know it, but when I start typing my words look wrong and not genuine is a constant thing and I'm tired

and yeah, the worst is comforting people. my friend feels terrible, I can clearly see that and my heart is breaking for them, but I can never find a good thing th say. irl you at least can physically be there((maybe)) but online it's a nightmare

I was always told that words should come from the heart and I never got a feeling that was the case for me which just. i dunno what to do with this

hi hello! no, you're good, I have my ask box open for a reason and that includes venting n stuff like that, i don't mind at all!

yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about... like i have no problem picking up on things between the lines... but i always take too long to respond and by the time i think of something i am either too nervous or the window has passed. in my case, I know its because i have a "slower processing speed" than other people, which i've had since I was little, it's easier to think when i can type on a screen and be able to check if im making sense, but i don't do verbal stuff very well.

i've been in therapy as well, a long time ago, and i've been told i might be on the autism spectrum, and/or have add, but i'm pretty resistant to getting a formal diagnosis or even self diagnosing for some reason.

i think for me, and i don't know if this will help for you, i want to 1) get rid of the... mental block? filter? that my thoughts have to get through before I say something... because sometimes i come up with the thought, but don't say anything due to nerves. that'll help me get more thoughts out there and 2) get more practice with people... which is hard! i tried out both improv and drama club in high school because this is an issue i've been working on for a long time... it didn't really work, but i've learned that there are a lot of... scripts! that i can just use in a pinch. even if its just like, small talk and stuff, or if i don't have anything, i just turn the question on the other person and just listen!

i've been trying to make peace with the fact that i will probably never be as good of a talker as other people, but you and me brother we are probably just meant to be listeners... and nothing wrong with that... there IS stuff we can do to get better at talking, which i encourage. but don't get down out of reason for being quiet.

SORRY that got really long despite me not having alot of good advice but im struggling with it with you, good luck with finding something that works.. if u want to talk u are always welcome here, i enjoyed reading your ask!

#sorry im very bad at respondin g to things LOL #but i mean all of this genuinely #its tough not feeling like u are as alive.. or have as much of a heart... personality.. genuine... as other people #like ur a lowly npc... #but npc or not.. your feelings are still real right? your pain is real and what you feel when people talk to you is real #i believe you're real #but yeah it sucks and i hope we can find a way to live with it #cathugs \(•u•)/ #ask #anon

[yunhowifeu]

Christmas blues

Yoongi x fem!reader

Word Count: 780+

Warnings: murder and depression

About: Y/N spending Christmas alone at a coffee shop and yoongi working a shift that exact day.

Yoongi’s pov:

My cousin owns a coffee shop but he is spending it with his wife, so he asked me if I could work until 7pm at least. I agreed even tho I’m supposed to meet with bts at 7:10pm. We agreed we were going to spend our Christmas together.

I started at 8am. I already know how to work everything because I come to help my cousin every now and then. Around 5pm, a girl comes in and sighs before ordering her coffee. I made her coffee and she paid. She sat down on a table in a corner, sat her coffee down and laid her head down.

It’s been a while since she has been sitting there. She would look up to take a sip of her coffee every now and then but that’s it. How could someone spend their Christmas all alone in a coffee shop, Christmas is for family and friends.

It’s 6:57pm and I need to start cleaning up. The girl didn’t seem like she was going to move any time soon. She was done with her coffee half a hour ago and didn’t even bother standing to throw the cup away, she just laid her head back down. 

I’m done cleaning up and it’s 7pm. I didn’t want to be rude and kick her out but I had to go. I tapped her shoulder. I noticed she hesitated on lifting her head but still did. I saw her tear stained face. What happened for her to be crying here and right now? I felt bad, I can’t just leave her. I just sat down next to her.

Yoongi: you shouldn’t be crying by yourself on Christmas and go be happy with friends or family

Y/N: What if I don’t have any family or friends?

Yoongi; Are you joking or serious?

She sighed which indicated me that she was serious

Yoongi: i’m sorry

Y/N: don't be

Yoongi: i'm here if you want to talk about it

Y/N: earlier you said I should be with family and friends right?

Yoongi: mhm

Y/N: I don't want to keep you here just so you can hear a strangers problems

Yoongi: I was going out with my group but i'm fine with staying here with you if you need to vent because I know it can be hard keeping it all in but if you don't want to, you don't need to

Y/N: I do

Yoogi: i'm listening

She sighed once again

Y/N: I usually don't tell people but you seem trustworthy, when I was 7 I watched as my mom beat my older brother to death, I tried pushing her away or yelling but I was little and didn't know I could have called the police and he was the sweetest most caring brother ever so I felt guilty. My mom said “I never wanted you guys in this world and your dad is a pathetic brainless and careless man, I'm leaving for good, I would kill you too but Your father is on his way”, then pushed me to the ground and ran out the door with her purse and phone. The police were never able to find her somehow and didn't care much about the case either. When my dad came home he almost fainted. We went to the hospital but it was no use, they just told us we lost him. A few years later and I'm a teenager, my dad was driving us to a light show on christmas when I saw my mom in a car with a different man and saw they had a gun. I tried telling my dad but he was busy on the phone and he got shot. Then they sped out of there. I took the wheel quickly and parked. I called the cops and they came with an ambulance. They still haven't found her and she is definitely coming for me next. 

Yoongi: Wow, I'm so sorry, that's a lot. Would you like to spend these next Christmas hours with me? We can go anywhere you'd like.

Y/N: yes please

Yoongi: if needed I can contact my group’s company ask them to give my friend a bodyguard

Y/N: I don't think it's necessary but if you'd like to do that then i'm up for it

I've gone through alot myself but I felt bad so I texted bts and told them I couldn't make it to the hangout. I would have told her to join us but she has gone through enough and I don't want her stressing over meeting 6 more new people in one day. I also contacted our manager and requested a bodyguard. Later on she met bts. We became really close really quick

 I hope you guys enjoyed it! My inbox is empty so be free to request or ask for anything <3

#suga #yoongi #min yoongi #min suga #bts suga #bts yoongi #bts min yoongi #suga bts #suga ff #suga imagine #suga scenario #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #bts army #suga fanfic #yoongi fanfic

[taegularities]

Hello lovely, I was kinda feeling rebellious today, going out of my comfort zone.. trying to be open just a little...I rarely open up to anyone neither my family nor friends..and it's not like I don't have anyone to share its just I've always been this way? Idk lol.. uhm lately I've not been feeling quite well? Ig, my mind is not in a good place.. and ik it'll pass and its something we all go through, we all have our days right? I get angry easily eventhough i rarely do and then I feel like crying almost every night, and I give in most of the time..crying helps alot..So yeah that's a short glimpse into my very closed off life lmao.. and.. I might totally be wrong, but I've sensed that type of sorrow? ( from you) Is that too extreme of word? Gloomy maybe? Idk.. its something that makes me feel that there is something bothering you? Something that's dimming your light... this probably is not even true and I'm just being my sensitive self ( which let me tell you, I'm sensitive afffff especially to people I care for so 😓) and if there's the smallest chance that this is indeed somewhat true...I want..truly want it to get better, for the both of us, ik talking to people and all helps and it's healthy but at the end of the we're the ones who has to deal with it ri8? It's only us that can make things better for ourselves not matter how much support we get how much love we receive at the end of the day its us who has to make it better for ourselves, so I will not tell you to do non of that instead I'd wish you to be strong, you can let it hurt you, you can cry too, but don't hurt too much, don't cry too much.. you can think about it, all day all night but, remember to hold your ground don't stray too far and lastly never ever lose yourself while trying... its something I really wanted to hear from someone at times like these.. idk I might be sounding crazy af 💀 coz what if I truly am wrong..but still I wanted to let you know.. ( I know I said I wanted to be open but deciding to send this as an anon at the last moment, huh it must way b harder for me to truly open up , but I tried and I was able to speak my mind like this, so I guess that's something ri8?

ah... hey there, love 🥺 first of all, i'm happy you felt comfortable enough to open up to me/us... it means a lot. on the other hand, i'm sorry you needed to vent at all, bc i wouldn't want you to be unwell :( crying definitely helps, so if you ever need to, definitely do. i'll offer a warm hug anytime, too 💕

as for me... i'm so flattered that you reached out at all :( like, it makes me feel so warm that you'd care so much, truly. i think that yeah, the past couple weeks and months have been rough, and a lot of shitty stuff has been happening. i try to be optimistic about everything and try to hold onto hope, bc yeah you're right, we're the ones who'll get ourselves out of this... but i'm really sorry if i dampened the mood in any way 🥺

in any case... thank you again. these are things i usually tell you guys when you vent to me, but sometimes, it's so so nice to hear them, too. i love you, i appreciate you 💕 we'll be okay 🫂

#it's okay to remain on anon <3 it means so damn much to me that you said what you said at all. truly #bc this literally made me feel so... cared for #cannot ever fkn take this for granted #notes for rid 🌹 #anon #long ask

[pennydontwannabeahero]

Just a Hero, 4 years of work and an teaser of its opening

Pre ramble, I've been working on a world to set my stories in for about 4 years now, in that time ive done alot of details that im slowly noting down, ive made literal hundreds of characters many of them background with to much detail, and during it all ive also been planning a bunch of diffrent stories, and recently ive even started writing the first of them, im about 10 pages of a likely 50+ down, but due to a lacking social media presence ive not been able to get others thoughts on the story, so having recently made tumbler i figured i should try sharing it on here and seeing if i can acctual build a following for it, thank you to anyone who interacts with this cause its a big ass project and i want to go beyond just something ive written, even if its just a couple people. Ramble over and quick warning the story is written with a target age of 16 to 18+, its got swearing, light nudity, sex reference, substance abuse, violence, mild gore, and honestly alot of other stuff im probobly forgetting, theres little to none of these in the following excerpt just its worth giving for future warning beyond this is the opening to Just A Hero, thanks again to anyone that reads and im sorry for any formatting or spelling issues its copy pasted off the google doc i write it in

The world of Astera has many stories. Some about monsters, Some about gods, Some about kings, Some about villains and some about heroes and this one is about a hero, Technically.

The great steam city of Hektalia floating above the Eidelon plains was often noted for its mighty   steam and clockwork machines, It was also known for legendary adventurers dressed in fine clothes and augmented with polished brass prosthetics and intricate transforming weapons. However there was something far more infamous from Hektalia. Its thieves and on this night through clear skies one runs down a street chased by a middle aged gentleman. Darting between the crowds of reveling drunkards a small girl no older than 6, She has short messy black hair with red highlights and atop her head a pair of fox ears as opposed to normal human ones, She wears a tattered black dress with some red adornments and from her lower hip comes four black fox tails, Her left forearm is in a badly made cast and sling, Her boots are light, Dirty and damp from where she ran through puddles, Across her shoulder a worn strap that leads to a satchel that klinks slightly from the objects inside it. From behind her shouts a commanding voice.

“STOP THIEF, PICKPOCKET.” The drunks don’t do much despite the shouts though a few accidentally get in the way of the gentleman bumping into him and breaking his line of sight of the girl. As it was with Hektalia if something was stolen no one much cared who owned it, Just who was more skilled in keeping it and to drunkards in this part of town a rich man didn’t need to keep it, After all he could always buy more.

Despite that the chase continued into back alleys away from the lights of the street, Small vents of steam make the ground damp and humid and tricky to see. The girl slips around corners doing her best to lose her pursuer. She ducks around one last corner into a dead end but with no sign of the man behind her she takes a breath and leans against the wall opening her stachel to examine what she stole. A wallet containing a few hundred shards, An ID card that she tossed away, A worn photo of what seemed to be the owner's family that she tossed onto the floor and ground into the dirt with her heel while scowling and a VIP card for the Hektalian servants market this too she tossed away. On top of the shards the wallet made of fine Astilian leather would sell for a couple hundred more enough to buy one of the nice burgers from the Byzantium style diner in the entertainment district. She put the wallet back in her satchel and pulled out the rest of her loot, A ring made of silver with a flawless ruby encrusted into it. This she slipped onto her finger despite its value. She liked red things and preferred to keep them. Lastly was the watch a golden and brass master work, The skeletal design showed the beauty of the clockwork that ticked and tocked in an almost relaxing way tracking the seconds that were passing in an ever moving world. Such things sold for a good number of shards, This one though seemed special the girl observed that it only tracked seconds not minutes or hours nor days or months just seconds ever passing. Her head tilted to stare deep into the clockwork distracted by the beautiful metal that reflected her red and light blue heterochromic eyes .

“Ah found you, You little thief.” The voice of the man she had stolen from who was now standing in the entrance to the alley. The girl almost jumped while tightening her grip on the watch before thrusting it back into her satchel and backing off deeper into the dead end.

“There’s no running any more you little brat, Give me back my things and I won’t call the police.” He held his hand out while looking down at her. In a gut reaction she tightened her grip on her satchel. She had defended her prize before but only against other children, Never an adult.

The man’s eyes locked with her own and he offered a soft false smile.

“You can keep the cheap jewelry and money, Just give me back my watch and I’ll let you go.” His voice was far softer now and the girl recognised the trick. Other adults had tried it to sound soft to make her feel safer than she was. She glanced around and saw an external staircase on the side of one of the buildings. Far too high up to reach for most people but she had a plan.

“Fine.” She looked down at the floor as she walked forwards slowly. Reaching into her satchel she pulled the watch out holding it tight in her fist.

“Stupid kid.” The man lunged for her and she swung her arm partly opening her hand to toss the dirt she had taken from her satchel into his eyes while dodging to the side. In the same motion as he fell to the floor she jumped up onto his back and from there with a deep breath she leaped up to the staircase jumping much higher than a normal person. She had always had an easy time jumping and leaping, Even falling as she didn’t feel the impact, Always landing softly no matter what, Though she never knew why it was a very useful ability.

“Damn it where did you go you little shit?” The man rubbed the dirt out of his eyes and looked around, Unable to spot her.

“I’m up here dummy!” The girl waved down as she danced around on the steps giggling at him.

“When I catch you I’m going to wring your dirty little neck, You filthy little piece of vermin waste.” He growled at her and began to run around to the entrance of the building.

“Good luck with that, Run run run as fast as you can old man, I may not be made of gingerbread but you’ll never catch me.” She called out as she leapt from rooftop to rooftop running along the rooves before jumping back down into the street and climbing through a window into the orphanage she called home.

“Been sneaking out again have you? You know if you keep doing silly things your arm is never going to heal.” The voice of a young woman was a comforting thing for her. The assistant matron, A nice lady who did her best to look after all the children there.

#writers #women writers #female writers #writers on tumblr #creative writing #origonal work #original character #fmlispent4yearsdesigningaworldandcharacters #amature writer