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#sorry all I can think of nowadays is my true love for Halloween
sexybaldwin · 4 days ago
Me when I see the first hint of an autumn leaf on the floor
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dadsbongos · 5 months ago
Movie/Game/Show: Danganronpa: Killing Harmony Dynamic: Korekiyo Shinguji/Reader (and his sister shit but i actually take it seriously, unlike kodaka) Warnings: korekiyo’s backstory/trauma (his sister), sexual/physical/mental abuse implications (and outright said but not described in detail except the emotional and mental), anxiety in both kork and reader and mental breakdown(s?), airhead shit but it’s sad Summary: It’s all her fault. ~~~
Korekiyo suddenly turned to the girl beside him in his quiet research lab, “Have you ever heard of Jack of Fables, (Y/n)?” at her, albeit confused, nod, he continued, “Well, all those myths, fairy tales, and even nursery rhymes in reference to ‘Jack’ are actually about the same man. What this means is that Jack Be Nimble, of the candlestick, Jack the Giant Killer, who sold his cows then murdered and robbed a giant, Stingy Jack, who tricked the devil so relentlessly that he was banned from both afterlives, Jack of Jack and Jill, who cracked open his skull, Jack o’ Lantern, Spirit of Halloween and Headless Horseman, and Jack Frost, Spirit who ends autumn and begins winter are all one in the same. He made so many poor life decisions that he now serves as an immortal representation of winer with a pumpkin serving as head and flashlight. Is that not fascinating?”
“Aw,” (Y/n) grinned, nodding once again, “Like the American ‘Florida man’.”
Korekiyo sighed, disappointment palpable in his tone, “That is… actually much more accurate than I wish to admit.”
“Wait, wait,” she tilted her head, patting the man’s arm despite his attention already being on her, “So… like, was he also Jack the Ripper…?”
His eyes widened at her statement, “(Y/n), I must be grateful you were not born to the life of a woman of the night in Victorian London because I assure you, Jack the Ripper was incredibly real.”
“Oh, that’s so sad…” she pouted before clearing it back into her usual smile almost instantly, “Well, thanks for the folklore fun fact, Kiyo! I didn’t know that Jack was so dumb! God, I’d hate to be like him…”
“You do realize you’re not so bright yourself, yes?”
She shrugged, “I’m fine with that, but at least I’m not tricking the devil!”
So sweet and kind, the Ultimate Composer was. Against all expectations, she wasn’t highbrow or traditionally genius, but she was more than excellent company. And, to top it off, the idea of turning her into one of Sister’s friends was oddly… sickening.
It should’ve been perfectly fine - she was a deeply respectable young woman unlike Miu and Maki, there’s no reason he could have against her.
It just felt wrong.
“Oh! Oh!” she burst out, clapping her hands together, before turning and reaching into a bag slung around her hip. Rooting through scrapped sheet music and notes, once she found what she’d been searching for she held it up excitedly, “Boom!”
Korekiyo took the item, just barely brushing his wrapped fingertips against hers, “Cleopatra’s Pearl Cocktail… much appreciated,” he pressed the small bottle into a pocket on his uniform, “If you enjoy giving gifts, perhaps we can discuss cultural gift-giving practices?”
“Ooh, Kiyo’s gonna teach me?”
“Hmm,” Korekiyo hummed quietly to himself, “Well, perhaps… you would prefer I tell you of a composition piece in relevance to mythology, yes?”
“That’d be nice,” the girl giggled softly, rubbing the back of her neck, “To be honest, I just like when you talk… you sound so smart all the time!”
“My thanks, (Y/n),” he nodded curtly, muttering to himself before coming to speak up, “Alright, I believe that the composition for you would be The Ring of the Nibelung, of Germany.”
“Oh, I know that one!” she knew most ‘ones’, to be fair.
“I had suspected so, but have you heard of the heroic legends behind the pieces?”
“Ah, no… are those what you’re gonna explain?”
“I had planned to, yes. Alright, well, the four parts, as you know, are The Rhinegold, The Valkyrie, Siegfried, and Twilight of the Gods. Nowadays, they are most commonly played as individual, separate works despite making one complete story. They were always intended as a sequence - as The Ring cycle, cleverly. Each piece revolves on a loose basis to German heroic tales and Norse legendary sagas, with the overarching tale of the magic ring forged by the Nibelung dwarf, Alberich, which grants the power to rule the world,” he paused at the sight of (Y/n) yawning, his lips pursed and eyes shot down to his shoes before flickering back up to the girl, “Ah, my apologies for taking far longer than necessary. You must find this- “
“Ah, no!” (Y/n) shook her head, waving her hands about as though it would physically prove how far from needed his apology was, “That’s not it! I’m just kinda tired, ya know?” as if to prove her point, another yawn washed over her, “I hadn’t slept well last night after Kirumi…”
“I see,” Korekiyo nodded, closing his eyes to think over his words, “I apologize for making it about myself. If you wish, I could walk you to your dormitory. Now that you mention it, it has been quite the long day.”
“You don’t have to, Kiyo, I’d hate to bother you so much in one day let alone one sitting,” the composer puffed her cheeks out, “That’d be so obnoxious…”
“I don’t find it obnoxious whatsoever, especially if it’s to aid- “ he hesitated, “to aid a friend.”
He hadn’t had friends before. People usually found him creepy and that was the end of the story - nobody approached him and he didn’t branch out. Life went on. The world spun. His loneliness was everlasting and yet nonexistent. He has Sister. Though, deep down, he knows. She’s on another plane of reality with loneliness stronger than his, that’s why he sends her respectable young women.
Just like (Y/n).
But just… not (Y/n). For reasons he personally chooses to not disclose to even himself.
“Aww, Kiyo! You care!” the girl placed a hand over her heart as if to show that the organ itself was squeezing in delight at his offer.
“Of course, I do,” Korekiyo didn’t like how quiet she made him. How jittery and nervous. And he didn’t like how it made him question the way Sister made him feel.
She also made him nervous but it felt different. He liked to pretend it was the nervousness of a love you don’t quite have yet, but he fully knows he’d be lying. She was a mean girl, a bully in school before being hospitalized. Prone to violent and outright frightening outbursts when she had the energy to do more than force him to her side.
But he didn’t like questioning those feelings for Sister. Who he was, was based on her. His uniform. His passion and talent. His hair. His perfect complexion. His life as the universe knows it is an ode to her.
It’s too late for him to go back now… he’s already done so much in her name it’d be cruel to give up now. He might as well continue for Sister.
“If you really don’t mind, then yeah, I’d like it if we could walk together… I get a little nervous going around at night, you never know who’s gonna snap…”
“And you trust me?”
Shit. That’s what gets him in trouble. It’s as Sister always said. ‘Too naive to make his choices, and once he’s free, too inept to make the right ones.’
“Well, yeah,” (Y/n) spoke as if there was hardly any thought to the answer, “All you’ve shown me is somebody worth trusting,” then, she’s quick to remember poor Kaede, “Well, maybe I’m being silly. But hey, if I have to choose between dying trusting my friends and paranoid beyond myself, then maybe I’d- “ she paused, “Ehhh, I don’t like the way that’s coming out.”
“I understand what you’re attempting to say,” Korekiyo reassured, turning towards his research lab’s exit, “Let us start towards the dormitories, yes?”
“Right!” (Y/n) nearly found herself jogging to catch up to Korekiyo’s long-strided head start, she clutched the strap of her bag as she did so, “So… you heard about Angie’s plan, right?”
“To perform a resurrection?”
“Do you think it’ll work?” she seemed antsier than was typical for her, “I mean, you’re into anthropology, so, like, has there ever been a case where that did work? Do you know?”
“No, besides, that would be more akin to history, remember?” she probably didn’t, her memory failed her at an ungodly amalgamation of best and worst of times.
“Oh, yeah,” she murmured and nodded, pretending to recall the difference between the two.
“Who would you desire back into this game, if you could?”
“Rantaro,” her answer was quick, her fingers looping together nervously, “We didn’t really talk much, but uhm, whenever we did - he was really nice. He said I reminded him of a sister of his… so that’s a good thing, right?”
Depends on who you ask, really.
“You grew attached to him so quickly?” there was no jealousy there, he tried to convince himself.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d gotten to know him more. He was always running around, trying to save us, and in the end… it got him killed.”
A lot of things will get you killed.
Korekiyo shook off the thoughts racking his brain, “Your care for him even through his estrangedness and peculiarity is truly beautiful, (Y/n),” he fiddled with the locket piece hanging around his shoulders, “Even your care for myself. I’d be lying if I’d said it wasn’t endearing.”
“You’re not…” her words died out, not wanting to lie to a dear companion of hers, “You’re a little off-putting but you’re not undeserving of love, Kiyo.”
It was a complete 180 from what Sister had told him his entire life. A new lesson coming in far too late. He had to earn love. He should’ve been crawling on his knees and pleading for affection, but now he was supposed to simply receive it? It sounded so incredibly fake. A fictitious tale told alongside gumdrop fairies and candy trees.
No place for someone of realistic standard.
No place for him.
“You’re far too kind, (Y/n).”
“Maybe you just haven’t known nice people,” she suddenly stopped, slapping a palm to her mouth and muffling against it, “I’m so sorry!”
“Worry not,” Korekiyo continued walking, “I’m unphased.”
Because maybe it was true.
Maybe Sister wasn’t so nice.
There was an itch at his skin in the thought and he shook his head.
Sister was kind enough to love someone like him. Who was of rotted soul and rancid heart.
“I shouldn’t have just said that, especially since I don’t really know your life…”
“Would you like to learn it someday?”
(Y/n) was fairly shocked at how quickly he seemed to breeze by her insult to his family and friends - well, if he had any friends - but she wouldn’t refuse. It was extra time with Korekiyo! Who could turn that down?
“I’d love to.”
“Tea and cookies,” (Y/n) pumped a fist in the air, “What could be better than enjoying those with a friend?”
Korekiyo felt his lips twitch up behind his mask at the rhetorical question, he reached out for his teacup, “Perhaps freedom from this killing game?”
“Oh, yeah, huh…” she deflated, “Jeez, I can’t believe I’d say that…”
Oh, great, of course, now he’s gone and made the local ball of sunshine in this school upset.
“Nevermind that, (Y/n), it was a tease…” he gripped the cup a little tighter, cheeks heating up in humiliation at his failed joke, “I apologize if it seemed like anything other than such.”
“No, don’t apologize, it’s fine! It was kind of a dumb thing to say, now that I put some brain into it,” so it made sense she’d said it, (Y/n) frowned at the bitter thought.
“Ah,” the clink of a cup against the table caught the girl’s attention, “I must change my mask in order to properly enjoy this tea and these cookies,” as the anthropologist went to turn, he was stopped by another outburst from the girl.
“No, don’t! Uh, here!” she clenched her eyes shut, papped her palms over her face, and turned her head downwards, “See? Now I can’t!”
“You don’t have to go to such lengths, I could simply turn- “
“No, no, I want you to feel comfortable and I heard once that doing things to make your friends comfortable is, like, a way to make them like you more?” she huffed at the wording, “Just, I don’t know… I want you to know that I care. Ya get it? No need to turn yourself away like that when I can just not look.”
A tuft of air passed through his nostrils at the girl.
Sister would adore a friend like her.
Korekiyo pulled down his mask, brows drawn tight towards his eyes at the new realization. It was no longer a matter of her being respectable, it was now the knowledge that someone as tender-hearted as (Y/n) would be loved beyond comprehension by Sister.
But… no. Sister couldn’t have her. She’d understand, right? Of course. She could have someone else - the other bubbly girl, what’s her name? Angie. She could have Angie.
Korekiyo just… he just needed (Y/n). Something about her was calming and sweet. He picked his mask for eating from a pocket in his uniform and carefully adjusted it over his lips so as to not smudge his lipstick. It wouldn’t anyway, he knew this, but it usually never backfired to be too sure.
The lipstick in itself was quite the hassle. Another homage to Sister that she might not even be seeing. So was the hair. It got tangled and knotted and was hell to dry after a shower.
“Not to rush you at all, but are you done? Cuz my eyes are starting to hurt… I think I’m squeezing them too hard.”
“Right, yes, I am.”
He really shouldn’t think like that… Sister deserved to be honored.
As if she’d been reading his mind, (Y/n) leaned over slightly, pointing at Korekiyo’s hair, “Hey, hey, how do you manage that? It always looks so silky and soft and well-kept.”
“Ah, well, it is quite troublesome most days, but with patience and rather expensive products, I keep it together.”
“I was wondering, too, do you ever put it up?”
“Not usually, though, that would be… nice on occasion,” he sipped at his tea, enjoying the way (Y/n) shyly glanced away to prove she didn’t want to invade his privacy. She was too delightful to be in a place such as this, even if he did enjoy the beauties of law-absence.
“Uh, I don’t want to come off pushy or like you have to let me, but if you want, I’d love to put your hair up! To be honest, I’ve been wanting to for a while,” her eyes widened at her own statement, “Oh, that sounded creepy. I’m so sorry.”
“I am hardly one to judge,” he reached over for a cookie, “But, if you’re so inclined, I won’t protest.”
“Yay!” she bounced slightly in her chair, “Oh, that’s great, Kiyo, thanks.”
“Shall we go to your dorm after finishing our refreshments?”
“I’d like that,” (Y/n) grinned.
And to think she almost didn’t approach Korekiyo on that first day in the school. How ridiculous could she have been to judge based on looks? Sure, he was a little strange and the way he spoke was unlike any teenager she’d ever met, but he was still a person. He deserved to be given companionship.
Besides, he’d only ever shown her kindness and support.
He didn’t even make fun of her when she said something stupid in front of everyone.
She cringed at the memory of every time Kokichi or Miu or Maki prodded at her. Even Ryoma and Kaito had picked on her when she misspoke during the first trial and just brought up a point the class had already proven. It made her heart wrinkle and shrink at the mere thought. Kokichi still made fun of her for questioning Tsumugi’s whereabouts during Rantaro’s murder.
“You’re staring into your tea, it will grow cold if you only look at it.”
“Oh, yeah,” shaking her head, (Y/n) silently cursed herself for spacing out. What an awful habit of hers, it was, “Sorry for taking so long.”
“You shouldn’t apologize, I’m not upset in the slightest,” he felt his heart lighten at the tiny smile that illuminated her face, “I simply enjoy spending this time together.”
“You’re too nice sometimes, Kiyo,” she giggled, but they both recognized the tingle of nervousness jumbling within it, “If you’re not careful, I might fall for you or something…”
“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?”
I wouldn’t mind, she wanted to say.
If you’ll have me, he wished to murmur.
Then he felt his chest tighten.
“Can I…” he tapped a finger to the table, “ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Uhm,” she bit her lip as she thought back, “No… why?”
“How do you think it feels?”
“Like, you could be free and yourself around the person? I’m not too sure, but I think if you and someone else are in love then you’ll accept each other completely, you know? Sure, there’s flaws in every person, but I think you accept those, too.”
“I see…”
“Kiyo, why do you ask?”
“I…” his brows furrowed, “A lot has been on my mind as of late.”
“Alright, I won’t pry,” standing from the dining table, (Y/n) clapped her hands together, “Now, if you’re still down, I’d love to put your hair up!”
“As it stands, I am still, as you put it, ‘down’,” Korekiyo nodded before joining the girl and starting towards her dorm room.
“Nice!” she pointed directly ahead, “Now, onward!”
A total airhead at her truest, Korekiyo thought. He didn’t usually partake in the type, but something about (Y/n) just pulled him in tighter every time he tried turning away.
So, what’s the harm in giving in? Swimming against the tide only ever led to drowning anyway, so why fight it?
Sister… Sister was dead. Is dead. Resurrection isn’t possible and hasn’t been in human history. And she had changed so much of him. (Y/n) would never force him to bend to her ideal.
The more he thought about Sister in comparison to (Y/n), the more he realized that Sister felt like a ball and chain - and (Y/n) felt like a breath of fresh air.
Just her name inside his own head sounded as sweet as the best form of heaven.
“Here we are!” (Y/n) cheered upon their arrival to her room, “There’s probably a bunch-load of unfinished works in here so just… don’t judge them too harshly, okay?”
“I could hardly judge an unfinished masterpiece.”
“I don’t know about masterpieces…”
“If you create them with heart and soul, there’s nobody who can effectively say they aren’t except for yourself,” Korekiyo enters the room after her, legs carrying him towards her desk as she roots around her bathroom for a hairbrush and hair tie, “Sadly, this is also applicable to disasters with effort put into them. However, just from skimming these, I can tell you they are not such disasters.”
“Aw, thanks, Kiyo, you know - I know I’m the Ultimate Composer and junk, but jeez it gets so nerve-wracking when people hear my stuff. I like what I write, but who’s to say other people will?”
“I understand that. Showing others your work is extremely unsettling at times,” he followed the girl to her bed and sat between her knees on the floor, “I recall feeling that way when I would dabble in artistry.”
“You can draw?”
“I would when I was much younger,” he felt her fingers run over his scalp and through his hair and the weight looming over his shoulders practically melted off, “I haven’t held onto any of them, and they’ve likely aged poorly, but I know how I felt showing them around.”
“Why’d you stop? If you don’t mind my asking,” reaching around, (Y/n) threaded her fingers through Korekiyo’s bangs and, as gently as humanly possible, pulled the hair hanging over and around his face back into a slicked style.
“My… sister, she always rathered that I participate in anthropology with her. I wasn’t all that good anyways.”
“Aw, that’s kinda sad. Even if you weren’t good, you could’ve improved over time.”
“Do you truly believe that, (Y/n)?”
“Of course, I mean, talents are just developed over time, right? Angie didn’t pop out of the womb an art genius and I didn’t start off great at writing music, you just keep at it and eventually your skill level is way better than when you started.”
Sister always said he’d be garbage at drawing. Somebody like him could never learn.
She tied off and twisted until the bun was perfect - well, not perfect. It was presentable enough, and it was just a bun anyway! Not like they had anywhere to be.
“Sorry it’s messy,” she scratched at her cheek, feeling anxious that he’d be upset with her work.
“I…” he felt another little smile peek over him, it was indeed messy with stray hairs sticking out here and there and a few tiny bumps running over his head, but even so, “I love it.”
“You do?”
“It’s a gesture from you, why wouldn’t I?”
Standing beside Korekiyo at the mirror, (Y/n) twiddled her thumbs before spewing out her question, “It’s totally cool if not, but can I hug you? Sorry if that’s weird!”
“No… it’s…” Sister never asked to touch him, and now that he thought about it, she never seemed to care when he told her to stop, “That would be wonderful.”
As her arms slowly came around him, he felt truly at ease. With Sister, there was always this fear of never being what she wanted. That she hated him deep down. With (Y/n), it felt like finally being attached to someone you were meant to. Returning to a place of deep affection.
“You truly do care about me, don’t you, (Y/n)?”
“What kind of question is that?” she back-pedals, “I mean, of course, I do. You’re very dear to me, Kiyo.”
Maybe even a little too dear, considering the current climate of the killing game.
But even so, neither of them pulls away. Neither cares enough to wrangle themselves from indulging in the other’s touch. It feels too good against their skin.
It’s then that Korekiyo’s brain strikes the flint to create the burning thought - maybe Sister wasn’t all that great. Maybe Sister didn’t love him.
She’s only ever made him miserable, now that he recalls it all.
(Y/n) doesn’t. She makes him feel human and alive and adored. He likes the way she makes him feel. And between the two, he much rather would be praised than berated.
Oh God, what did this mean again?
Where do the creation myths go?
Who’s Princess Kaguya?
Her head throbs at the thoughts rumbling through her. She tried to get Korekiyo to get someone, anyone, but her to organize his notes.
Shuichi would love this stuff! You two should bond!
Gonta could learn about being gentlemanly from you! It’d be a great learning experience!
I know you don’t like Miu that much, but maybe spending more time together could make you understand each other more?
And yet, Korekiyo denied. He liked spending time with her. He wouldn’t mind answering every question she had - no matter how many times she asked it. He was a patient person, he could handle it.
(Y/n) looked at all the books and stray papers surrounding her alike, bottom lip tugged between her teeth in focus and face beating hot in vivid embarrassment. He wasn’t even looking at her, thank God, but still… it was so mortifying that she’d already lost track of what she was doing.
She tried so hard to pay attention, she really, really did!
She wanted to help so bad. She wanted to be useful so bad.
But she knew… she’s not a smart person, per se. It was beaten over her head repeatedly her entire life by her family, schooling, peers, and even her friends. She was an idiot who couldn’t do anything right.
It’s why she wanted Korekiyo to ask someone else.
But how could she say no to him? He was always so nice, it’d be downright mean to refuse him. Right?
She felt her eyes burn, vision growing blurry through tears. Setting down the papers in her hands - (Y/n) covered her eyes to keep any wetness from splotching the notes below. It was the least a fucking moron could do.
“(Y/n)? Are you feeling okay?”
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
She nodded shakily, just wanting Korekiyo to ignore her and continue his work. Better yet, he’d kick her out and she could dodge the incoming humiliation altogether.
“Yeah,” her voice cracked, lips trembling.
She heard papers rustling before she could feel the presence at her side. Fingertips just barely grazing her body before hesitating back, “You’re lying.”
Understatement of the year.
“I just… I’m so sorry, Kiyo. I’m such an idiot, I knew I couldn’t do this,” she whimpered, desperately trying to grab and suffocate down her bubbling sobs before they wracked her throat, “I’m too fucking dumb to do anything right… I’m sorry…”
“No, no, don’t apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong and you’re no idiot,” he’s immediately slammed with every memory of every time he’s called her such a thing. No matter how nice he tried to be about it, he still aided her insecurity, “I’m sorry for ever saying you were. Intellect is not measured by how well you can do a task nor should everyone’s mind be measured the same. Intelligence is fickle and is spread over a vast variety of subjects. You’re not an idiot for not being able to do something you’re not accustomed to.”
“I just… I- I wanted to help you but then I forgot everything you said about organizing them and then which regions are which and what even is a gorgon?”
He chuckled quietly at her question, “A creature in Greek mythology most commonly in reference to three sisters - Medusa, Euryale, and Sthenno - with hair made of living, venomous snakes that turned those who so much as looked upon them to stone,” he glanced around at what (Y/n) had gotten done, “I see that the filing in relation to music is nearly completed for your half.”
“That’s about all I’m good for.”
“And I would not have managed that so easily, music was never an incredible strength of mine - though I do admire it.”
“Don’t lie to me, Kiyo…”
“I would never,” he moved his notes away to sit more comfortably next to the girl, “In fact, if you’d be willing to listen…” his throat tightened and heart thumped in his chest, “I would like to tell you of something that’s been troubling me for quite some time.”
“Yeah,” she wiped away her tears, sniffling, “of course.”
“I told you of my sister, correct?” he waited for her nod of confirmation to continue, “Well, it’s my belief that…” his fists clenched.
What if she didn’t believe him? What if she blamed him? How do you tell someone your older sister raped and abused you when you’re barely even coming to terms with the fact yourself?
“(Y/n), I…” he stopped, gut bunching in knots before he suddenly ripped down his mask and turned to face her, “I think I need help…”
“What? You’re just wearing lipstick, Kiyo, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, no, no, no,” he shook his head, hands shaking wildly as he pulled out the ponytail (Y/n) had done up earlier and yanked through his hair, “E-everything I am is because of her! She consumes me even in death! She- she- she hurt me…”
“Oh,” the girl moved to sit up on her knees, hands reaching out but not yet touching him, “What happened, Kiyo? You can tell me, I’m listening.”
“She told me I was an awful boy, nobody but her could love someone so foul and creepy… she- “ he moved to grip his sleeves, “She touched me,” he looked into the girl’s eyes, “Is it my fault? Am I so disgusting? Why would she do this?”
“Do you want me to hold you or no?” at his shaky nod, she instantly took Korekiyo into a hug, cradling his head and shoulders to her body and stroking through his hair, “You’re more than what she made you. You’re bigger and better than her manipulation. And it’s not your fault she did what she did. It’s completely and totally on her. She took advantage of you, Kiyo, that’s not your fault.”
He grabbed her arm and pressed his face into her shirt as she held him, “Am I rotten? Am I lovable?”
“You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re worthy of love and care.”
His lipstick smeared over her shirt and across his cheek and neither of them minded. It would wash off eventually. Her stain on his life would come out.
“When we get out,” (Y/n) began again, “do you want to seek professional help? You can get it, Kiyo.”
He was slow to nod, beginning to grow tired from dosing out tears and trauma at once, “I do… thank you, (Y/n)...”
“No need to thank me.”
“(Y/n)?” she hummed quietly in acknowledgement, “Even if it isn’t for field work… I wish to travel the country with you. I want to show you the beauty of humanity as I know it… for our sakes.”
Looking down, (Y/n) caught the gentleness in his eyes, tender and soft and awaiting her response, she smiled softly, brushing back his hair, “I would love to, Kiyo. If it’s truly something you want to do, I would be happy to go anywhere with you.”
Nighttime was quickly approaching and with the atmosphere and turmoil of the class, (Y/n) didn’t feel very safe being out so late.
“You’re certain you don’t wish for me to walk you to your room?”
“No, you finish up here,” (Y/n) waved off Korekiyo’s offer, “Don’t be such a worry-wart, yeah? I’ll be fine! You better take care of yourself while I’m gone, though.”
He nodded, a small smile stretching over him, “I will, dear (Y/n), don’t worry.”
The girl’s eyes widened slightly before she returned his beam, “You have a cute smile, Kiyo.”
“Oh,” right, he didn’t have his mask on at the moment. It was refreshing to wake up and not trouble himself with makeup for a woman he wasn’t sure even cared - dare he say it, it was nice, even.
He’d only taken his mask off around (Y/n), it felt intimate. Sweet. Something passed only between them.
“Thank you.”
She nodded before turning back and pressing outward from his research lab, “I’ll see ya tomorrow, Kiyo! You better have the sweetest dreams, ya hear me?”
“You as well.”
He returned to cleaning up his lab, occasionally stumbling over a floorboard looser than the others. How troublesome.
That’s when her voice picked up from within his brain.
“You never loved me.”
He looked around despite knowing exactly where the voice was coming from.
“You let her do this to you. You let her take you from me.”
Pushing past them, he persisted in rooting through his notes and organizing his papers.
“She hates you. She’s scared of you. She’s just trying to be nice. You scare her. You scare all of them. You rotten, rotten boy. You’ve been ruined - only I could love a face so hideous and broken. A horrible, horrible boy lucky enough to be given the love I did.”
His hands shook, fingers twitching and heart thrumming heavy, “No. (Y/n) likes me. She enjoys my company.”
“Why would she enjoy the company of someone so lonely and depressing? So gross and foul? She probably hates you for partaking in your own sister’s touch.”
“No, she- she doesn’t… she knows it’s not… it’s not my fault…”
“Are you inside her head? How do you know? How are you certain? I’m the only one who ever loved you - and you’ve abandoned me. Left me all alone.”
“No, I- I haven’t abandoned you, Sister! Please, believe me, I never abandoned you.”
“So, you know what you must do to prove yourself to me.”
“(Y/n) wouldn’t like that…”
“(Y/n) wouldn’t like you anyway.”
She’s right, right? She’s right. Someone as wonderful and beautiful as (Y/n) could never adore him the way he does her. He loves her and she must find him repulsive. Staying out of fear.
Out of pity for the boy abused by his sister. And so, who better to return to than the more predictable of the two?
(Y/n) may have felt more like coming home than Sister - but Sister was home. (Y/n) was comfort. Sister was familiarity.
He found his foot planted against the loose floorboard once again. He knew how he had to make up for his misdeeds and abandonment.
“I’m truly relieved to see that you got to your room safely,” Korekiyo murmured to (Y/n).
“Huh? Oh yeah,” she pointed over to their local gentle giant, “Gonta and I crossed paths on my way and he wanted to walk me to my room and I just couldn’t say no to him. It’s nice to have someone you trust in this ‘game’. Well, other than you,” the elevator jumbled slightly as it dove down into Monokuma’s makeshift courtroom, “I trust you, obviously.”
She shouldn’t. And he wants to tell her that.
But as Kokichi and Shuichi take glances at him from across the elevator, he knows that she’ll figure things out soon enough.
And, during the trial, when Shuichi’s convicting Korekiyo of the murder of Angie Yonaga and Tenko Chabashira - she does. And she cries and screams and throws a fit. Demanding Korekiyo to fight back harder. Demanding Shuichi to stop lying and get serious. Because Korekiyo would never kill somebody.
He was nice. He was a gentleman. He cared about people. He had stolen her heart - and a man who managed that wouldn’t kill anybody. So, of course, Shuichi was lying.
“Do I have to remind you of what’ll happen if you don’t vote?” Monokuma bit out.
(Y/n) clutched at her hair - she knew what she had to do. But every time she went to vote for Korekiyo, her body wouldn’t let her.
Reaching over, the boy himself took her hand in his, “Allow me,” as he guided her hand over her voting panel. No matter how she swatted at his hand or tried to wrench herself from Korekiyo’s grip, he pressed her vote into his name.
She was forced to watch as he was strung up and spun. Made dizzy and sickly. She was made to watch as he fell into the melting pot. Fires eating at his body until he was no more than spirit.
As Monokuma and the sister who had harmed him so horrifically worked as one to rid the world of his soul.
Eyes went to (Y/n) as the execution subsided. Her sobs and hiccups drawing everyone’s attention.
Gonta was the first to approach, a large hand settling on the girl’s back as she cried, silently taking her into a hug.
Her heart wrenched, fingers squeezing at Gonta’s suit and throat rubbing raw with her wild wails.
He could’ve gotten help. He could’ve gotten out with everyone. If she’d just stayed with him then she could’ve done something. Angie and Tenko would be here. Korekiyo would be here.
“Alright, that’s enough,” Kaito’s voice peeked through, “Don’t cry because he’s gone, (Y/n). Move forward - for both of you.”
“I…” she shook her head, choking on a sob, “I don’t think I can…”
Shuichi placed a hand on Kaito’s shoulder, “Just give her a little time.”
As the group moved out of the courtroom, Gonta stayed by (Y/n)’s side up until she clumsily made her way into her dorm room.
Immediately, she collapsed into her bed sheets. Dreading tomorrow. And the next day. And the one after that. And the one after that. And so on. And so forth. Maybe she should’ve known better than to go around falling for a guy in the killing game. Maybe she should’ve held herself up in her room all alone.
There was no escape from this feeling. No hiding. It may get better over time - but Korekiyo would always be gone.
A buzz at the door caught her attention. Her movements were sluggish, honestly just hoping that whoever was there had given up and left by the time she finally answered.
Shuichi stood there, classically uneven, anxious smile and all, “I think there’s something you might be interested in? If you’ll follow me.”
No verbal response was given, only (Y/n) stepping out of her room and shutting the door behind her to give him her confirmation.
He began towards the casino. With a sigh, (Y/n) was about to tell Shuichi off - she didn’t need to start gambling to get over Korekiyo’s death - until he stopped in front of the building.
“I mostly just wanted you to get some fresh air,” he says earnestly before digging in his pocket and pulling out a key with a heart-shaped handle, “I got this from here. You can get your own or keep this one, I think you need it more than I do,” at her confusion he continues to explain, “It can take you into this weird dream-like state where you can see what ‘ideal’ you play in our classmates’ minds… I think you know who I gave this to you for.”
“Yeah. You can see him again, if you want.”
She wanted to be strong and push the key back into Shuichi’s hand - instead, she just looked between him and the key in her hold and nodded slowly, “Thank you, Shuichi…”
He placed a hand on her shoulder, “Sleep well, (Y/n). I know you can grow past this.”
Because he did.
“I’ll try.”
But he wasn’t her. And Kaede was gone far before Korekiyo. And their grief was not the same.
“Thanks again, Shuichi.”
“Just take your time, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Her knees felt like collapsing under the weight of her nerves, hand falling to the doorknob of the hotel room.
She pushed through her anxiety and found herself in a red-tinted room, a large heart-shaped bed in the center with a merry-go-round circling it. Then, she found Korekiyo standing to the side.
What would his ‘ideal’ version of her be? A friend? An out-of-touch acquaintance? A lover?
Her heart throbbed at the last possibility.
“Ah, my dear, back so soon?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“I’m, uhm, not sure?”
I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.
“Then don’t,” he seemed to glide across the room, taking the girl’s cheeks in his hands, “You’ve always had a problem with that, my love.”
My love? My love.
“Ah, yeah, sorry,” she huffed at her own word selection, “Oh…”
Korekiyo chuckled quietly, pulling down his mask to kiss her forehead, “I already took my medication while you were out.”
“Your medication?”
“Yes, from the doctor. You were the one who pushed me to go, have you forgotten?”
“Right! No, no, I just blanked,” she quickly lied, giving the boy a broad grin, “I’m glad, though.”
“It’s only medication, dear.”
“Still,” (Y/n) reached up to cup Korekiyo’s cheek, “it’s good that you’re following through with your meds.”
“Your support always helps,” he pressed another kiss to the girl’s forehead, “We’ll be leaving early in the morning tomorrow, I should warn you,” at her furrowed brows he explained, “In order for us to catch the first train to Iwate prefecture. Did you forget, darling?”
“Wait, wait, let me guess…” she waited for his nod before tossing out her suggestion, “We’re traveling for field work!” she was then quick to tag on, “As a couple that’s, like, super in love?”
“You didn’t forget at all, my love,” Korekiyo pulled away slightly, and sat on the bed, removing his shoes, “You play that memory of yours down too much. You’re far more intelligent than you think.”
“You think that?”
“Of course, I do. It’s not just because I love you dearly, either. You mustn’t let the words and actions of others control your opinion on yourself - you’re better than they say.”
This is his ultimate fantasy. He’s her lover. They travel and see the beauty of humanity together, just like what he said he wanted. He loves her. He thinks she’s so great.
He’s wrong.
She should’ve stayed with him that night.
He’s wrong.
She could’ve done so much to keep him with her.
He’s dead.
Because she should’ve stayed.
“Kiyo,” her eyes burned and began to soak, “I’m sorry!” her lungs rapidly expanded and contracted with her sporadic breaths, her hands clutching at her shirt. Her knees finally buckled and she collapsed to the ground, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry for being a stupid, stupid, stupid failure! Please… forgive me…!”
Korekiyo immediately stood up and rushed to (Y/n)’s side, bringing her into a tight hug as she fell to the floor, his fingers running through her hair. He kisses at her temple and cheeks, waiting until her cries settle enough for him to be audible in the room, “It’s interesting, dear, I first realized I’d fallen in love with you in a situation similar as this. I desired to comfort and reassure you just as I do now. You’re not stupid nor a failure, and I adore you above all else.”
Shaking her head, (Y/n) only began to cry harder into Korekiyo’s chest. This could’ve been their future. This could’ve been what they had to share and hold between only each other. If she’d only stayed. If she’d been with him that night.
“Oh, my dear, I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
“It wasn’t you,” she clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to keep back her cries, “I- I- it’s all my fault… it’s all my fault…”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, darling,” Korekiyo held her tighter, “I love you, my dearest (Y/n). No matter what you’ve done, I will always forgive you.”
And once again, her tears only came out harder. Her head pounding ruthlessly at the ache and consciousness fading out in her exhaustion. Korekiyo was dead. And no amount of her tears could ever bring him back.
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peaceoutofthepieces · 10 months ago
Sink Or Swim
tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane
Tuesday, 18:47
Song: EDEN - how to sleep
Lucas seizes up as the front door opens, gathering himself up and pushing to his feet. If he does it naturally, he can probably slip to his room without his father protesting too much. He can probably excuse himself with homework. He won’t have to interact, not properly.
His plan would work perfectly, in normal circumstances. Normal circumstances just usually don’t involve running into a moving skeleton three steps into the hallway.
He’s mildly embarrassed by the squeak he lets out, and by the pitch of his voice as he screeches, “What the fuck?”
His father curses under his own breath, moving the skeleton flapping in his arms out of his face, and mutters, “Language.”
“Dad,” Lucas sputters as the dummy is shoved into his hands. “What the hell is this?”
Hugo ushers him back into the sitting room, following behind with shopping bags hanging heavily from his hands. He dumps them on the coffee table and takes the skeleton out of Lucas’s arms to prop him up on the couch, watching them with a gaping, toothy grin. “Halloween decorations.”
Lucas bites back the urge to sarcastically thank him for stating the obvious and chooses to further his question. “Why?”
After the scoldings Lucas has gotten over the past few weeks, watching his father turn to him with his hands on his hips is a rather nerve-wracking thing. The smile on his face, however, turns out to be the most disconcerting. “So we can decorate.”
“I thought it would be something nice to do together,” Hugo shrugs.
Lucas blinks at him. He feels the need to tread cautiously. He’s very worried that he’s somehow being played, in an oddly surprising way. “But...Halloween is in four days.”
“Everyone else has had their houses decorated for weeks.”
“Yeah, but we’ve only been getting moved in. We have the best excuse.”
Lucas continues to stare at him.
Hugo sighs, rubbing his hand over his brow, gesturing at the skeleton. “Do you have to be such a moody teen over everything? I bought a skeleton, buddy.”
The old nickname softens Lucas a little bit. Just a little. He looks at the skeleton once more. Flimsy, about three-quarters the height of Lucas, black smudges dotting his gray-toned bones. The right number of ribs, missing a tooth (with another cracked), eye sockets deeply sunken. Just on the realistic side of cartoonish.
Lucas asks, “What’s his name?”
His father grins proudly. “Tim.”
“Same as one of my old-coworkers. Piece of work himself. One of the know-it-all types. Even worse than a moody teenager.”
Lucas can’t help it. He snorts. “Poor Tim.”
His father waves a hand at him. “Well, he’s a member of the household now. A blessedly silent member.”
Lucas raises his brows. He examines the skeleton once more, then leans forward and gently picks up its left arm. He presses the small button on the inside of its wrist.
Tim’s eyes flash red as his jaw drops open in evil, mechanical laughter.
Hugo jumps and curses under his breath again and Lucas lets out a laugh, delighted. He leans back in to grip Tim around the waist, picking him up and drawing that same arm around his shoulder, playing with the skeletal fingers. It’s unexpected. To be turning to his father with a grin, to feel the remnants of laughter settling cosily in his stomach. He likes it, and he likes the soft smile that lightens his father’s eyes, and he likes the comfort of the small space when it lacks the tension and the animosity of the previous few days, of the past week.
He asks, carefully, “What else did you get?”
His father beams. He moves to the bags on the table and begins pulling banners out of the way, followed by a packet of bats and pumpkin lights and various other witchy products. Lucas feels his pleasure grow at each new item and nods approvingly.
“Good idea?”
Lucas nods, humming. “You’ve definitely had worse.”
The man accepts the jibe with nothing more than a small shrug. “You happy enough to take an hour to do it now? I’ll start hanging these around the place and you can get Tim situated. Maybe somewhere around the door?”
“Sounds good,” Lucas agrees. He grips Tim’s arm tighter and carries him out into the hallway, making sure to press the little button once more as he passes his father. He chuckles at the swears he receives in response.
It’s almost therapeutic. Even as the desire to let Tim’s bones scatter on the street grows, there’s something simplistic and soothing about decorating the place. Something that makes it feel a little more like it’s his. A little more like a home. It helps that he loves Halloween. He loves the spookiness, the eeriness, the beauty in the horror. It’s satisfying, watching the angry little pumpkin faces emit a stunningly bright glow. There’s a sort of poetry to all of it, he supposes, to the veil around the world becoming foggy, to the masks people wear becoming visible.
There’s an artistry, too, that he appreciates more than anything. The sharpness, the otherworldliness, the darkness. The meaning under it all, of the in-between.
Beauty in the horror.
He supposes there’s a little beauty, too, in doing it together. They work together to hang the string-lights up in the hall, and the silence isn’t strained or uncomfortable. It’s companionable, filled with little huffs of laughter as one or the other gets caught, or trips, or drops the line. The usual simmering anger that sits in his chest is entirely absent, just for these few moments.
“You used to love Halloween when you were a kid,” his father says suddenly, and Lucas glances over at him. “Your mom always avoided buying stuff she thought would scare you, but you never flinched at any of it. You wanted all the weird loud things that used to make Kes bawl his eyes out. The only things you didn’t want were the spiders.”
Lucas laughs at the idea of little Kes, terrified, and Lucas enjoying scaring him as he had with his dad today. He remembers how his friend would retaliate, finding the biggest fake-spider in the place and sneaking up to set it on Lucas’s shoulder. He’d only stopped at the age of twelve, when Lucas had given him the silent treatment for a week in response. “I did notice you didn’t bring any of those back.”
“I do pay attention, sometimes. I also remember that you liked it most because of all the sweets.”
“You could have just brought back a cake,” Lucas agrees lightly, shooting him a grin.
“Yeah, but we couldn’t have shared that. You would’ve eaten it all yourself.”
Lucas laughs quietly, realising he can’t argue, that there’s plenty of proof in the past to refute anything he would say. There’s a calm that has settled over him, and he relishes in it.
For a moment.
“Hey, Luc,” his father starts slowly, and some of the tension in Lucas returns. “I know this hasn’t been easy for you. It’s a big change, and a bad age to be making it, and I don’t know how many times I can apologise for it before you’ll forgive me.”
Lucas tacks his end of the lights to the wall and listens carefully.
“I should be making it easier for you, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I just have no idea how. It used to be so easy for us, too, you know? I used to know you so well. Now I keep stuffing up.”
Lucas slowly lowers his hands to his sides and turns to face him. “Dad,” he starts, but the man shakes his head.
“I was harsh on you the other night. And the week before that. I know that. I just don’t know what else to do. You don’t let me in. I can only react to what I see. And maybe I overreacted, but I only do what I think is right. I think what worried me most, about the weed, is that it didn’t surprise me. And now, I know, it’s probably natural to all of you nowadays and it might not surprise many, but it’s more that—well it didn’t surprise me that you managed to hide it from me. It was just another nail in the coffin.”
“I don’t hide everything from you,” Lucas says quietly. “You surprise me a lot more often.”
“I know,” Hugo says, just as gentle, abandoning his task to turn to Lucas too. “I know, buddy, and I am sorry. I’m trying to do better. But I need you to try with me.”
Lucas swallows thickly, averting his gaze to his feet for a moment. There’s a war going on in his chest, the childish urge to hold onto this leverage over his father and the desperate desire to give in, to claw for some semblance of harmony. Beyond all of it, canceling out all the rest, is the whisper that whatever answer he gives won’t matter. The harmony could never last, and he’s stupid to hold onto that tiny bit of hope, a tattered little shred he hadn’t even realised he held.
But it’s this little whisper that strengthens his resolve, that makes him return his gaze to the man before him and give a tiny nod.
“Okay. I will. Promise.”
His dad squeezes his shoulder, and none of his anger returns at the contact. He leans into it, and he lets himself hope.
Hugo lets him go and moves to tack up the middle of the string-lights. “So as it’s my proposal, I feel like I should make the first move, and say if you wanted to have a few friends or something over for Halloween, that would be okay.” He pauses. “You have friends here, right?”
Lucas huffs. “Yes, I have managed to make friends here. But everyone will be going out for Halloween. They know I’m not allowed out, so they probably already have plans, or whatever.”
The realisation settles in that this may very well be true, and it’s another sting settling in his heart. He’s still too invested, much too invested, and he still hasn’t figured out what to do about it. Managing his emotions felt a lot easier when he was pretending—even with himself—that he didn’t have any.
Now every time he sees Jens without him, he aches, and when he sees Jens with Jana, he breaks, and when he sees Jens at all, he has various emotions that he really doesn’t want to think about in such close proximity to his father.
His father, who is currently frowning at him in genuine concern. “You really think so? Surely good friends would make the effort to include you.”
Lucas thinks of Jens messaging him about meeting up even while thinking he was in a different country. Of Jens dragging him to the party a few days before that. Always of Jens.
He directs his gaze back down to the ground and shrugs. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t ask that of them. I haven’t even known them that long.”
Hugo sighs and makes his way back to the kitchen, leaving Lucas to stand alone for a moment before following. They hang up half a packet of bats before the older man says, “A curfew is still kind of a punishment, right?”
Lucas whips his head up to look at him. He’s focused on the bat in his hands, unwilling to look at his son and the excitement suddenly building in him. “Yes, definitely. Better than grounding, really. More embarrassing. Will definitely get me laughed at.”
“So, say, if you wanted to go out with these friends of yours. That would be okay, as long as you’re back by midnight?”
Lucas nods quickly. Much too quickly.
Hugo’s eyes narrow. “Midnight’s too good, isn’t it?”
“No, of course not, midnight is super lame.”
“No, make it ten.”
“Ten?” Lucas tosses his hands up. His dad turns to look at him, now raising his brows in challenge. “Eleven,” Lucas counters.
The man considers him. “Ten-thirty. Final offer.”
“Midnight was your first offer!”
Brows are raised further.
Lucas blows out a breath and turns on his heel to collect more bats. “Ten-thirty.”
It takes ten more minutes of hanging decorations before Lucas chances asking.
“So, does this mean I can have my weed back?”
His father stares at him. “Buddy, I might not be able to stop you from smoking it, but I can’t just give it to you. I have some parenting skills, you know.”
“It could be bonding! We could share that too.”
“Nice try. Give me that orange tinsel. We’ll give Tim a little sparkle.”
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xsevensx · 12 months ago
Chapter 4 “Welcome to Starfall City”
reblog > like
Chapter 4 is out.. For a long time already actually. I totally forgot to post it here.. Have fun anyway! ^-^
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“Mr. Gadd..?” Luigi carefully opened the door leading to the hidden lab. The lights were on, the girl behind the counter let him slip in as she had seen him yesterday and knew the professor was fine with it. “I-I will take the job... I’m sorry I left so quickly yesterday. Hello..?” He walked in and closed the door. He could finally take a better look at the room. The whole building itself was a square but this room was a circle. There was one big computer on the other side of the room with six screens. On the left was a wall covered with papers and pictures of sightings.
 Luigi walked over to the covered wall. The pictures weren’t very clear. A lot of them showed glowing eyes and weird silhouettes. He began to wonder if these were actually real. He had a ghost with him, why would vampires not exist? Or shapeshifters like his invisible friend had said.
 “Interesting, are they not?” E. Gadd came and stood next to Luigi. “There used to be a time they were normal until they were blamed for the most ridiculous stuff. I assume you had history class. Witches being burned, anyone suspicious locked into the dungeons of their kingdom. Not all of them were caught and they hid in plain sight. They still do nowadays.” The professor pulled some papers from the wall, revealing a map of the city. It had marks and circles all over it. “Starfall City is some kind of supernatural magnet. Some kind of energy, I don’t know what yet.” He rubbed his chin, looking at Luigi. “If you don’t mind me asking, what has brought you here? I hope not for fun.”
 The boy shook his head and started to play with his fingers. “N-No sir.. My girlfriend and I broke up and I had to get away. My brother offered me a place to stay so... That’s why I am here.” He rubbed his neck with an awkward smile. “Ah, I see. Well, it must’ve been destiny, Luigi! You will have a great and interesting time in our humble city. This must be overwhelming, which is why I won’t give you a very difficult task!” The professor pointed at the calendar next to the mess of papers with a smile. “In a few days, we celebrate the.. the fascinating origin of Starfall City. The Moon festival.”
 Luigi raised an eyebrow. “I’ve heard my brother about it. It’s some kind of Halloween, right..? People dress up.” The old man nodded. “Yes, you could compare it with Halloween. They say the moon turned purple one night and covered a kingdom in shadows. The whole place had disappeared once the sun returned. We also use it as a bed story to scare young children. There’s a whole story but basically, we just dress up and have fun.”
 “I see..” Luigi shivered. “What is this task you were going to give me..?”
 “Ah yes! I almost forgot!” E. Gadd chuckled. “Like Halloween, monsters come out at night! I want you to find a costume and go undercover during the festival! I will be there as well but..” The man scratched his head with an embarrassed smile. “Most people know I’m researching and will probably stay away from me..”
 Halloween, he didn’t hate it but didn’t like it either. He used to be the target of almost everyone which is why he stayed home to watch a nice movie instead. Mario would get the candy and return before the movie started. It was some kind of tradition.
 “O-Okay. I can do that. B-But how.. or what.. I-I mean, undercover but what am I supposed to do..?”
 The professor smiled excitedly. “I’ve waited for you to ask!” He said and quickly ran over to his computer to grab something from the desk. “This! Device!” he held a small object in the air. It looked like a smartphone. It had a pink metallic color and a logo on it, which looked suspiciously a lot like E. Gadd’s head. “It’s disguised as a normal telephone, but it’s actually some kind of... Heat sensor..? It’s uhh... It can detect different energies.. or auras. For example, if you look on the screen and point the camera at a human.!” The professor turned it on and pointed it at Luigi. “It shows a.. green.. outline… around the person.. to confirm the person is one-hundred percent human..” He bit on his tongue. “It has a manual which explains what all colors mean... But green is most important for now.” He smiled awkwardly and handed the device over the Luigi. “Test it out, on your brother or someone else.. Yourself if necessary.”
 Luigi nodded and inspected the weird phone-looking device. “I see. I’ll go search for a costume then. Thank you sir..” He smiled. Finally, he had something to do instead of wasting his time. Now he had to think of what to wear during a festival like that. “Don’t forget to write down what you saw during the festival!” E. Gadd yelled after Luigi as he made his way towards the door. “No worries sir! I got it!” Luigi smiled and left.
 The professor watched the door close and once he was alone, he locked the door and jumped into his chair. He grabbed the paper manual of the device and looked through it. He had never seen a mixed aura.
 “Technology, weird stuff nowadays.” The ghost chuckled, floating above Luigi while looking at the device. “In my days, we used paper and pencil. Nothing complicated.” He said. Luigi sighed and put the phone away. “So, you’ve been dead for centuries? We use texting and email. It’s not that complicated, maybe to make but not to use. We just buy these and they last for a few years before we have to buy a new one.” Luigi explained and looked at Beau. “I-I could show you how they work when we are back home if you want..?”
 Beau snickered. “Sure, why not. Might as well learn why everyone is addicted to these things.” Luigi laughed in return. “Not everyone. It may look like it but it’s part of our lives. We use it for everything. I use it to keep in contact with my brother, you know... In case I need him..” He stopped in front of the shop he encountered earlier. ‘Cael’s party shop’. It was unlike the café pretty updated. Definitely not abandoned compared to a lot of other shops. It had this.. positive vibe.
 He took a deep breath and went inside. It was nice and tidy. The walls were white with blue accents and the floor was made of black and white shiny tiles. All masks were placed on one of the walls, hats were placed on proper mannequins, costumes all on a clothing rack, shoes placed in boxes, and make-up on showcases. It was kind of overwhelming, everything was so clean and inviting.
 “Oh, hello!” A man waved at Luigi from behind the counter. He wore a white t-shirt, casual jeans, and blue high-tops. Luigi didn’t know if it was a reflection, but it almost looked like the man had red irises underneath his grey glasses. “Is this your first time? I don’t believe I’ve seen you before!” The man said with a smile and walked towards Luigi, holding out his hand. “I am Cael! It is a pleasure to meet you!”
 Luigi shook his hand. “H-hello... I am Luigi. You might be right... I’ve been here for around two weeks now. I’m looking for something to wear during the uh... upcoming festival.” He looked at the store. It was huge, he had no idea where to start. He didn’t have any idea what to dress up like. He assumed this man was the owner, he was quite cheery. Especially because of his light blue dyed hair. “Ah, then you came to the right place! You should take a look around on your own first. If you need me, I’ll be right here!”
 “Hey, you know what you should dress up like?” Beau grinned. Luigi gasped but refused to make a sound. He hadn’t noticed his ghost friend had disappeared, it was so peaceful. “..What..?” he whispered while he walked into the store. He didn’t want to look crazy, talking to himself. “Me! You should dress up like me!” He stuck out his tongue and winked. Like his eyes, his tongue had this weird purple color. It definitely wasn’t healthy but well, he was a ghost and not a living man. “That moon festival, I used to celebrate it too. It’s actually to prevent a lunar eclipse. I was actually born during one.”
 A sigh escaped Luigi’s mouth. That information didn’t really make the situation better. “How about I don’t?” he whispered, peeking at Beau. “I am scared of ghosts, why would I dress like one..?”
 A period of silence got interrupted by Beau’s laughter. “Really?! Well, that’s ironic! You literally got one with you twenty-four-seven! Oh, you must be so terrified every time I appear! HAHAHAHA!!”
 Hilarious. He didn’t feel comfortable with the shade around him, that was true. But at least he wasn’t a ghost-like in the stories he got told. He decided to ignore the humiliating commentary and continued searching. But it was so difficult, he had celebrated Halloween maybe twice? He didn’t even dress up, maybe he did but he couldn’t remember..
 “Hey buddy, found something?” Cael’s head appeared between the various costumes. “I could help, you know. That’s my job.” He chuckled and went through the clothes to get next to the customer. “The purpose of the moon festival is to actually dress up like a monster or something scary. You don’t seem like a cosplay guy or a Halloween fanatic so... I wouldn’t choose something complicated. You know, white clothes and some make-up could do the trick!” he smiled.
 “HAHAHAHA SEE?! Even he agrees!!”
 Luigi looked down and sighed. “Like a ghost... Got it. I guess I’ll go with that.” Cael chuckled. “Don’t worry. It’s just one day. I’ll probably do the same along with my sister. She’s like.. twelve and loves to dress up. Can’t leave her alone with events like that.” He went towards the counter and disappeared in the backroom. “I’ll be back in a minute!”
 The man glared at the shade. “What~? Did I do something wrong? I just suggested it and he agrees!” Beau smiled innocent and floated around. “You could also dress up as a monkey or a princess. Imagine you, in a pink dress. That would be horrifying… and perfect for a festival like this. Say, is your brother going to show up as well? He should. Ghost brothers.”
 “I-I am not going to wear a dress..” Luigi rubbed his face as he made his way towards the counter. “I know I am tall and slim, barely got any muscle but that’s not going to happen.”
 “Okay! I think I got the perfect outfit for you!” Cael cheered and put down some clothes and make-up. “I don’t know if you know how to use make-up but if you want, I could help you apply it right before the festival! It’s your first you know. You should look amazing.” He smiled. “Always though, not just that day but you get the point. Okay, this is what I had in mind! The white make-up and some black-ish around the eyes. No contact lenses, they are horrible if I say so myself. They give an amazing effect but.. uncomfortable to wear. I got this, long coat. It’s a little steampunk like but.. white. It used to be brown. White jeans! Replace it with other white jeans if you think they aren’t comfortable and whatever shoes you want, but white is the best of course.” He chuckled. “And... Temporary hair dye. White, you know. I can make it work. It’s the stereotype people have in mind when they think about ghosts so, this is the most obvious.”
 Beau chuckled. “Pretty accurate to me.”
 Luigi closed his eyes and breathed in. He would love to put some tape on someone’s mouth. “I-It’s good. I like it..” he said and forced a small smile. “I’ll visit right before the festival starts. Thank you, Cael.”
 Cael smiled proudly. “You’re welcome! It’s no problem! I’ll keep it safe until you return. As it’s your first time, you don’t have to pay. It’s not that expensive anyway..” he snickered and put his hands on his hips. “Anything else buddy?”
 Luigi shook his head. “N-No... That’s all. Thanks.” He took a few steps back. The man waved and turned around, back to do his own business.
 “Luigi. Phone thing.” Beau said and pointed at Cael.
 Grabbing the device, he raised an eyebrow. “... He doesn’t look like a supernatural thing though…” Luigi whispered. “No, but Gadd said they’ve been hiding in plain sight and I can confirm. They used to do that when I was alive as well, so why wouldn’t they now?”
 Luigi turned on the device. “True I guess.” He mumbled and aimed the device at the man. A blue outline appeared around Cael. “..Blue..” Luigi whispered. He quickly wrote it down on his hand and left the shop. He looked at Beau with a confused expression. “What’s blue?”
 The ghost shrugged. “I don’t know? You got the notes right?” The man bit on his lips and began to push randomly on the buttons. Nothing got labeled so it was difficult to navigate except for the big red button which was to scan.
 “So purple means ghost. Fitting since your eyes are purple too.”
 The spirit looked offended and crossed his arms. “Hey, that’s my actual eye color. Search the meaning of purple.”
 “Okay.” Luigi pulled out his own phone and once he searched, he began to snicker. “Irritability, impatience, arrogance, negativity..” Beau looked over Luigi’s shoulder. “You’re reading the negative ones on purpose, aren’t you? I see the better ones, you idiot. Royalty, power, ambition, mystery, creativity, magic!” He got pushed away by a hand.
 “Yes, yes I did that on purpose because you’re acting that way. Now let me do my job and be quiet, please..” Luigi said and began to mess around with the device once again.
 “..Battery is dead.”
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blindedbythedarkness · a year ago
I dreamt about you last night for the first time in months. This time it wasn’t distressing at all, it was a beautiful, welcome event. I think that nowadays seeing you in dreams feels lucky and the closest I can be to you whereas in the past it was a kick in the face to be unable to escape reality in sleep. 
I’ve been so fucking stressed lately. I mean honestly it seems like I’ve been more stressed than is reasonable 90% of time since your death. Life and everything in it seems unapologetically relentless and honestly having this much consecutive bad luck has got to be pretty rare. A while back I used to think to myself “Surely something’s got to give soon, things can’t carry on like this. Probability is on our side.” Nowadays I don’t bother thinking about the bigger picture and just endure each shitty circumstance individually. Endure really is the only word that can be used to describe the past 13 months. Admittedly, at times the suicidal thoughts have been creeping back in despite everything I went through with your death.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day of feeling like I was endlessly swimming upstream. I honestly said to A in the evening that it seemed I could feel the years dropping off my life expectancy. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s a real bitch knowing how detrimental long term high cortisol levels can be, and yet feeling powerless to change it. Ce la vie I suppose. 
I guess what I’m trying to say is last night I was really in need of a pick me up and some part of my brain or the universe knew that. Seeing you again was exactly what I needed, though I could never have guessed it. 
In the dream I was stressed too and trapped in some imaginary haunted house of-sorts one Halloween. Curled in a corner, I reached for my phone and found you on speed dial. Despite this, you were dead in the dream, but in this particular reality I knew there was a chance the veil would be thin enough to catch a glimpse of you if we were lucky. And we were. Seconds after I hit dial, you appeared in front of me and suddenly the whole squad was there too. I crossed the distance between us as fast as I possibly could and squeezed you in a hug so tight that had you been living you might have burst. I remember feeling the warmth of your body and your soft hair against my face (I’m glad I remember you as the right height). The entire time you were there, I didn’t let go and the rest of the squad held you tight from every other angle. 
“Oh my God, Josh, you came!” I cried. Words were so hard to get out and I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to say everything I wanted. 
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I love you and I miss you so much.” 
That was all I could manage before you faded before our eyes, gone again as quickly as you’d appeared.
It was bittersweet feeling even within the dream. But for those few seconds we had with you again I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort and relief that I don’t think I could possibly recreate whilst awake. It’s impossible to describe just how good it was, but I’m willing to bet it lowered my blood pressure far below the heights it’s maintained recently. It was so beautiful and as though for a brief moment I was back in the life I lead while you were alive. For a short time, all my stresses faded into nothingness and there was just you and overwhelming happiness and love. True, it hurts like hell and I wish I had a waking opportunity to do the same. But even in death, your presence and friendship are helping me through the hardest situations and for that Josh I am so grateful.
Love always,
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msfandomblog · 11 months ago
Are you  afraid  of  the  dark?
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Summary:Halloween the most exciting day for all ages around the world, but now with little of no hope & confusement all-round life is dull
but not for you you have a plan to bring all of Halloween joy to everyone you could say you're the jack to this Halloween 🎃
Word count: 2,553
The fall weather is  your favorite, now don't get me wrong it still is but ever change since the virus but your spirit is still high 
Steven though a company  social, once a week and you been slacking to join this month they were quite worried about you
So fall is coming and I'm quite worried are kids going have a Halloween, Thanksgiving Christmas. is these holiday's well continues the same just with more caution Katie said
To be honest, nothing going be the  same and quite frankly I don't  think kids will have a traditional holiday but there's another way's to celebrate these holiday's Steven comment 
Yha and some people are saying just wear a mask for Halloween but kids are not going go for an hour wearing that it hot, and quite frankly who's really going take candy  from a stranger nowadays Brittney  said
Yha I see what you mean 
You know  I'll miss the fall and Halloween decorations y/n put up in the office, It was like a mini haunted house  and ever years is a different theme Kari said 
 like  the Katy  Perry of Halloween TJ said 
I miss the whole crew being in the same room giving hugs it's still odd to be at home talking to you like this Shane  said 
The ringtone of this is Halloween start to play, Oh looks who call the spook (her/him) self 
Hi Ryan!
Hey y/n you're on speakerphone with the others
Hiiii guys!!
So how are you? Josh asked
Great, live at home is kinda fun but it gets lonely time to time but I been working on this project so im deeply sorry I haven't been around so, how are you guys?
Were good they  all said at the same time 
So how you going celebrate the holidays I know this your favorite  season and when the virus  hit we know you were a bit down  Steven asked
Well I decor  my room and I make special  baskets for the kids that are in the Hospital and really think about a virtual Halloween party
Moments  later  they had an email, oh my god  that so amazing  it's like  a haunted house Steven said
I will love  to sleep there  it looks so cozy Shane said 
So why you calling these kids to need Halloween! Ryan shout it out of you
Oh I was calling because I forgot what favorite coffee you like but I really want to talk to guys without me distract y'all with my noise 
Oh wow this must be exhausted making basket 
It is  but since I had the stuff already it smooth a little  and to have two projects going puls I won't get bored 
Y/n/n is right a lot of people need a project or a hobby keep them from partying 
You  know what  I really  miss your homemade  Donuts now don't get  me  wrong  DD makes good  donuts  too but is something  special about  a homemade one, Just  worm my heart  Shane said 
Everyone burst into laughter
Oh, what do you have in store for us for are you scared?
It's a  doozy, lots of Goosebumps moments
Oh something that I might  have a heart attack to nice y/n
Well, I have to go is wonderful to hear from all of you bye!
You had big plans for them you been making autumn/Halloween  basket for them and the kids in the hospital for the past week
Each one had something special for all them  for them fuzzy socks, a ton of candy and knick-knacks, you friends their favor  coffee  pack's and mugs for them Sara and Marielle  had more in it than the boys but  everyone had an equal amount of candy and donuts   
It's Halloween day you texted the last people to drop off was  the girls the kids and steven first to tell them you were coming by to drop something off you put your  mask on and off you went 
Steven apartment  is kinda close  to you so you drop his off first 
The colorful chef_
Real y/n/n you too so sweet for us  y/n/n I don't  think  we deserve you 
Oh real   don't  say things like  that  it might  come true 
That true I take back those words  oh Mighty God 
Ok goof ball don't go overboard  or I'll have to cut you off 
Ok, ok I'll  try not to 
Ok I'll have to go now
Oh ok  be careful  Ms spooky  skeleton 
You too silver chef
Marielle was outside  with  a  pole in  her hand, hey y/n can you hold a  pole 
Uh sure I bring  you gifts, awww she completes dropping the pole to hug you 
Oh y/n/n you  to sweet is this your plan for the kids in the Hospital 
Mhmh, I had so many candy and nicknacks so I made a basket for  Halloween  basket 
Awww that so sweet can i come to Marielle asked
Sure I don't  think they allow us to be in there but we zoom after we drop it off tho
Oh  wonderful she said the joy in here eye just Worms you up, it like Christmas joy
Don't  tell Ryan but I'm going come by when they finish there vid tonight 
Oh  you, you're going  scared the crap out him oh I wish I see his face  
I  got  it we both spook him she gasp aww yha 
I'll  back after  we drop off the basket's I have an extra  Prosthetic 
Oh this going be  good
After you both drop off the baskets and  type call the kids to see the smiling faces and the nurses  claping  it makes  your heart melt you drove to Sara'st to dropped off Sara basket 
And as soon you got  in your  car  Sara texted you 
Curly chickmucks_
OMG this is so cute thank you I'm definitely  won't forget  your birthday  
You_2:22-You welcome don't tell Shane I'm going  surprise him 
Curly chickmucks_
Oh ok I'm going put this cute stock's on ekkkk😙😙😙💖💞💞
You were a bit surprised that the BuzzFeed staff and watcher join but super glad they when all in crafts, sing longs They adore the  costumes so you plan a contest 
You set movie break so you and the parents have time many people texting you and the comments are so sweet and cute you seen a lot of parents thanking y'all for taking Time out your day to do this 
 Around six you said goodnight to the kids of course kids came ringing you're door belled good thing you were about to go out so you had your mask on so you surprised with a jump-scare your hand them their candy and left the bowl you wasn't that crazy just to leave like that you had a lot of tricks if they don't follow the rules
drop off the Prosthetic you first knock on Shane door basket at his doorstep you shuffling then he opens the door y/n !!!! 
What you doing  here and nice masks he looks down is that for me his,smiling ear  to ear
Yha happy  Halloween!  buddy thank you  so much you and  Mr professor did a wonderful job I said 
Aww, it the less thing i could do This so awesome and donuts!! Oh Lord this is so cute thank you  oh wait I  got this for  you he puckered his lip to make a chief  kiss
Mmhuh, Marielle text me about  the plan sneaky girl I love  it I'll  text you the time Ryan started 
 Air hug see you soon big guy and the same to you spook queen than you left 
I'm Ryan Bergara and this is are you afraid i well be telling a story to my friend  Shane  Madej these stories may and maybe not turn I have not read this story either than Shane  so lock your door's and turn off the lights let see if we can make to the end 
 Ok so I don’t really know how to start this because I’ve never made a post before but I downloaded this app literally just so I could share this story.
It the most messed up thing that has ever happened to me. So my sophomore year of college me and my best friend decided to take an adderall so we could stay up all night and write the papers that were due that week.
So we did it, and we stayed up really late and finally finished. It was about 3AM when we decided to go to go get some food and smoke a joint. so we get in the car and got the food and decide to smoke in the car at her apartment complex with the windows down.
I’m not sure if you have ever had a bug on ur body and felt it, yet ignored it because you were just busy or thought it was something else, only to finally look and see that it really was a big fucking bug? That’s what this next part was like.
So as soon as we pulled in the parking spot, which was facing head on towards a big opening of woods, I felt like something was weird. But I just took a few bites of my food and rolled the joint anyways thinking I was just spooking myself, but the whole time something felt off and I felt like I could see something in the forest. The beginning of the forest was about 8 feet from my car.
Finally, when we have been smoking the joint for about 2 minutes, I decide to actually look harder at the woods and the movement I was seeing. Immediately as I look closer, I see two huge yellow eyes staring back at me. It was like they were just really big eyes on a white face peaking at me through the bush.
Terrifying enough as it is, it doesn’t ends here.... as soon as I made eye contact with it the monster or man or monster man starts coming straight for my car. Note that my lights were on so whatever/whoever this was definitely knew we were in there and I know it had been watching for a long time by the weird feelings I had before. I knew it had been staring right at my eyes for a while because when I finally looked we made direct eye contact.
It starts walking towards me, making direct eye contact with me still. At first, me and my friend thought it was a police officer because we had weed, but it suddenly became clear that it was no police officer and we arent sure it was even human. This thing was either a man dressed like a monster or it WAS a monster. It looked like it had a mask of pale white rotting skin on its face.
I was so scared that I had a lot of trouble driving away, my first instinct was to hide and slide low in my seat, but I knew it was coming for me. I stared at the thing in paralyzed fear as it came closer and closer to me. I can’t describe to you exactly what it was wearing or what it looked like because it doesn’t make any sense, it’s like my mind can’t even go there.
All I know is that it has the physique of a man but the limbs were way WAY too long. It looked like slender man but was different, like it definitely had a face.
Finally I threw my car in reverse just in time (thank goodness it was already on and I didn’t have to search for the key or anything). When I finally was able to pull away, IT was standing in my very parking spot I had just been parked in. Me and my friend called the police and told them there was a monster or a man in the woods, they said they checked but found nothing.
We had been in my best friends very own apartment complex when this happened so we had to live with this memory everyday. I have never walked to my apt from my car without being on the phone with someone since that night and it is 4 years later. It haunts me and I hate that someone or something has scarred me so much just by one insane encounter.
People always say things like oh it was a hunter, and it was blurry because they were in camouflage, but I’m telling y’all this was NOT a hunter... it was just too large to be a normal person and also not only that but you can’t hunt 50 feet from an apartment complex?? There is also no hiking trails of any sort and no normal person would purposely stare at someone for 20 minutes and purposely scare two girls at 4AM. This was either a malicious person or a true monster. Unfortunately me and the girl who encountered it too lean more towards monster.
People also say funny things like oh u were high and delusional being up so late so you just imagined it. First of all, I was in my right mind enough to know what I saw. Period. Also, my friend and I saw the exact same thing at the same time and experienced it together, we both describe the exact same thing. I have done some research and the only thing that I feel like it was comparable to was a rake... but the thing I saw was even scarier than the “rake” pics on the internet. Please if anyone knows what this could have been or had a scary experience like this please tell me about it.
I legit have no clue what really came at me and my friend that night and I’m just dying to figure it out because it just seems like this ominous boogie man haunting me
 A knock erupted their conversation oh, buddy, the story is coming to live you better  get that 
Marielle! He called but there was a lunar she prpole sleep
Yha sleep ryan let finish this  up and answer  the  door so I can good to bed Shane said 
He looks thought  the pep hole no one but a basket he picked up the katana his at his doorstep he careful open  the  door 
BOO!! He got scared a starred  swing lucky you both move back Ryan, Ryan RAYAN calm down!
It just a joke clam down you told him 
You could have killed us look before  you swing boy Marielle said 
Y/n that was dirty and Marielle really, really he said 
But y/n/n made you a Halloween  basket she said in a sweet voice
Awww thanks this well definitely  help with my stresses that you cause he sarcastically said
Oh Ryan you too much well good night  my spooky  friend giveing both a air hug
Night (y/n/n) be safe marielle said
I well, Ryan ghost census was tingling wait,y/n well come with you just to make sure your safe
Awww im glad I have friends like you 
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mirkwoodshewolf · a year ago
The Magician; Brian May x reader
*Author’s note*
Okay guys here we go with the final part of my Hallowqueen series. I apologize if the whole story feels rushed, I sorta struggled trying to make the sweetest guy of Queen into a dark fictionized magician but I hope I still made you guys happy.  Thank you all so much to everyone who gave this mini series a chance and I hope that in the next couple of days, you all have a happy and safe Halloween. Enjoy my lovely darlings and I hope to have the next part of my Aladdin queen series back up hopefully this weekend ;)
Warnings: DEATH, drugs (not like drugs drugs but like poison drugs) hints of dissection, and yeah just some dark themes with this fic.
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Link to intro
While walking through the circus you soon find yourself bumping into someone.
“Why don’t you watch where you’re going!” the man hissed at you.  You look to see a rather mean looking adult.  He was at least twice your age and had multiple piercings as well as a tattoo across the left side of his face.
“I said I was sorry.”
“But clearly you’re too stupid to even look up to see that someone’s in front of you!”
“What’s going on here?” a voice soon called out. You both turned around and soon coming up was the curly haired magician.  The pierced man then tried to make himself look like the victim.
“Well I was just minding my own business when this hussy out of nowhere tried to assault me.”
“What?! No I—”
“Simon you’ve tried this before back in Montreal and Vancouver. And quite frankly I’m sick of it, so apologize to the lady and kindly remove yourself from the circus, less I lay the message to Freddie about this.” At the mention of that name, the man turned pale.  But he turns to you and said in a snappy voice.
“It’s okay.” He then stormed off.
“Simon can be a bit of a handful. Honestly I don’t know why he keeps coming in. We’ve tried to have tighter security against him since he’s caused some problems in the past. You okay though love?”
“Yeah, I’m—I’m fine. But it was kinda my fault I—I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going.”
“True, but Simon shouldn’t have been so cruel to someone who apologizes, especially if they are a woman. I can’t stand men who treat women with disrespect.” Wow, a true gentleman huh? “How about I make it up to you with some tea in my trailer? If that’s alright with you of course.”
“Oh I couldn’t impose.”
“Nonsense love, I insist. Besides it’s getting cold out there, at least drink something warm before you leave.” You ponder on the offer and you begin to think it wouldn’t hurt, plus it’d be free tea and you could also get to know the handsome curly haired sorcerer a bit more.
“Only if you’re okay with it.” He smiled a wide but warm smile as he said.
“I would be honored.”
“I’m (y/n).” you introduce yourself.  The magician takes your hand and says his name.
“Brian. Brian May.” He then kisses the back of your hand and you could feel your heart skip a beat as you stare into those beautiful blue eyes of his.
He then guides you into his trailer and has you sit down on the blue couch and you can’t help but admire some of the things he has inside.  A telescope, a mini bookshelf with all kinds of spell books as well as astronomy books and physics books.
He comes back and hands you a beautiful crafted Victorian teacup that was white with pink roses painted along the entire cup.
“I hope you like it, it’s herbal tea. Good for the soul.” You thank him and you take a sip but can’t help but taste something bitter.  You try to hold in a grimace but he seems to notice it as he says, “Do you not like it?”
“No, no it’s just—never really had herbal tea like this before.”
“Well I tend to make my teas differently because I use true organic materials and raw herbs without all the pesticides teashop owners use nowadays.” He says.
“And there’s nothing wrong with that. So by saying that I’m gonna take a guess that you’re also a vegetarian.” He fiddles around with his teacup as he says.
“I know Roger and Fred mock me for it, but I just think it’s cruel to eat animals when they’ve never done anything to us.”
“Wait so you’re also an animal activist too?” you ask as you turn fully to face him.
“In my downtime. At least before I joined this circus I was a part of many animal rights groups. Was about to star my own organization before Fred found me.”
“Oh my god I never thought I would meet another animal right’s activist here.”
“Wait so you’re…..” you then show him your bracelet which was an organization for Badger conservation. “You help out badgers?”
“Been working with these guys since high school. We help rescue, rehabilitate, and release badgers once they’re done recovering.” You say proudly.
“That’s amazing love, badgers are one of my favorite animals.”
“For real? Mine too. I never met another person who loves badgers.”
“Well here I am.” The two of you laugh and that’s when he asks you.  “So how did you get involved with the badger program?”
“Well like I said it was when I was graduating high school. I always wanted to be a vet technician but not for just domesticated pets, I wanted to do the exotic animals like wolves, badgers, hedgehogs, foxes, bears.”
“And did you become one?”
“Well I would’ve but then the math got too hard for me so I ended up failing college at the time.  After a couple years I went back and made my major to English. Kinda stupid huh?”
“No not at all. There’s nothing wrong with an English degree. What was your area of study?”
“Folklore and mythology.”
“Really? That sounds fascinating.”
“It really wasn’t. I mean at least the courses I was required to take weren’t. There was hardly any courses on the real mythology that I could take at my college. Anyways it was then I saw a flier for rescuer volunteers for this organization. I gave them a call, did the interview and here I am 10 years later.”
“That’s amazing. How many rescues were you apart of?”
“Well I didn’t get out onto the field till 18 months after my training. But if I remember correctly I think I’ve done 100 rescues.”
“Wow.” Brian said in awe as he kept his eyes locked right on you.
“Yeah. My recent rescue was a pair of hedgehogs. They got swept up by the river from the recent storms we’ve been having.”
“Aww the poor little things. Are they alright?”
“Yeah, they’re currently being incubated to get their body temperatures up. But nothing serious was damaged, just a little cold, wet and scared. At least the siblings didn’t get separated from each other.”
“Yeah. There’s nothing worse than when animal siblings get separated from each other.”
“Right. Alright I’ve bored you enough with my stories.”
“Oh no love not at all. I find your story very interesting. I mean if anything I think I’ll be the one boring you if I were to tell you my story.”
“Well I’ve got all night Bri.” You don’t know why you called him that so you quickly apologize. “I’m sorry I-I-I-I just…..”
“It’s alright. In fact all my friends call me that. Plus it—sounds lovely when you say it.” You couldn’t help the slight blush that came across your face, and it only seem to grow darker as you felt his hand take yours and you can feel his calloused thumb stroke the back of it. “Well to make a long story short besides animal loving, I’ve always just been fascinated by space and the wonders of the universe. As a sorcerer I get a further in depth look at what lies beyond the cosmos, and actually bring it before an audience.”
It was then his hand began to glow a soft blue color and soon all around the trailer was a mini-version to the galaxy he had presented earlier that night.  All the constellations coming to life in their pictured form.  Pisces the fish swam around you while Leo came up to you and nuzzled your head.
Orion the hunter stood before you and bowed in respect almost like he was greeting a Queen.  You smile and bow back to him before he dissolves back into the stars.
“Oh Brian this—never did I imagine the cosmos could be so beautiful.” You whisper in awe.
“I may hold the cosmos and everything regarding the universe in the palm of my hand, but I see a far more beautiful sight in front of me.” You turn and see that he’s looking at you with such wonder and warmth.  
At his pickup line you can’t help but bashfully lower your head but he lifts your chin up so that he can look at you properly. He stands up and holds his hand out to you.
“I normally don’t ask this but—would you like to dance?” you look up at him and you couldn’t explain it but there was something just pulling you towards him.  You take his hand and he helps you stand up.
“Uhh Bri?”
“I—don’t know if a trailer is a good place for dancing.”
“Oh right, silly me.” With a wave of his hand, the trailer almost seemed to disappear and all that was surrounding you was nothing but starry skies. “Is this better?” he asks you.
“Yeah.” You muttered.  He takes your hand in his and slowly almost kinda sensually wraps his other arm around your waist, making shivers and sparks of electricity run up your spine.  He then leads you in a gentle sway.
You both stare into each other’s eyes and that’s when Brian says to you.
“(Y/n). Has—anyone ever told you that your eyes sparkle like the stars themselves?”
“No one but you Bri.” You confess.  He leans his forehead against yours and you can’t help but surrender to his touch as you close your eyes and lean closer toward his lips.  Soon enough your lips meet with his and you end up kissing him.
At first you had no idea why you were doing this and one part of your head was telling you to back away and stop it, but then there was this other part telling you to keep going.  You feel his hand gently cup underneath your jawline which caused the kiss to go deeper.
You moan as you quickly fall under the spell of Brian’s kiss.  If he wasn’t magical before then there was definitely something about him because you just couldn’t stop kissing him, nor did you want to separate from him.
Suddenly you felt this agonizing pain in your stomach. You forced yourself to break free of Brian’s kiss and embrace and the room turned back into the trailer.
“(Y/n), love are you alright?” your vision started going in and out as you pant.
“I—suddenly don’t feel so good. God my—my head’s spinning like a top.”
“Perhaps some more tea will help you?”
“No, no…..” you try to walk away but all you ended up stumbling around the trailer, knocking things over. “Air….I need air….” You somehow finally managed to reach the doorknob but a hand covers your own. You look up and see through your blurry vision, three Brian’s.
“You’re too sick to go out my dear. Please rest. I can take care of you.”
“No, no I…..” he picks you up bridal style and takes you into what looked like a bedroom.  He sets you down on the black bedsheets and the next thing you feel is a cold rag being dabbed across your sweating face. “Wha—the tea….”
“You’re mumbling love. I can’t understand you.”
“The tea tasted bitter—what did you put in it?”
“As I said before it was freshly grown herbs, tea leaves, a teaspoon of honey.”
“No you—you poisoned it…..somehow. I…..” you groan in agony and that’s when you hear.
“Well. There was one more thing, but it wasn’t poison. A special potion I brewed up myself. Amortentia.”
“Think of it as a—love potion of sorts. It increases pheromones in the body as well as estrogen. It’s not harmful once digested, just increases your hormones a bit.” This didn’t make any sense.
If the tea wasn’t poisoned, the why did it feel like you were dying? You groan in agony again and you could hear Brian’s gentle coos and shushing as he lay down close beside you, stroking your cheek and kissing around your face.
Wait; unless—no it… couldn’t be that way.
“Figuring it out now love?” his voice suddenly had a darker tone to it.  You look up at him and he just grins down at you darkly as he chuckles in the same dark tone. “At first I didn’t want to believe Freddie but I guess it is true that one kiss can seal someone’s life.” He brushes the hair out of your face and walks over to his dresser.
He then holds up what looked like a stick of chap stick but as he opens it he says.
“With a bit of nigh shade berries and a dash of arsenic, it does become quite the concoction for a—toxic kiss.” Ahhh shit! How could you be soo foolish to accept the tea? That’s always the first thing people poison whenever it comes to a murdering or killing, so why were you so stupid?!
He comes back over to you and tells you as he hovers over you.
“Now don’t get me wrong love. It’s nothing personal, and nothing against you. In fact—you are beautiful. Too beautiful in fact to be in this body. You are a true star that should belong in the cosmos. So allow me to help you get there. Well—it’s not like you have a choice in the matter anyways.” He chuckles once more before pulling something out of his drawer.
“Please……don’t do this.” You whisper with your last breath. He looks down at you and cups the side of your face and whispers.
“No need to be afraid love. And no need to be embarrassed. Your body is beautiful. And I will enjoy every second of this.” He then shows you a scalpel.  You wish you could scream but the only sound you could hear was the sound of your heartbeat slowly stopping.  Your vision goes dark and soon all you feel is numbness before you finally draw your last breath.
Within a week in Paris, Brian now stood before the audience showing the audience the beauty of the cosmos.
“So you see monsieur’s and mademoiselles. The stars show us what lies beyond our universe. And sometimes, we can see those we love amongst them.” It was then a formation of stars came down before Brian and they morphed into a young woman with (h/l) hair and her eyes were replaced by two of the brightest stars ever imagined.  “Hello my love.”
Her arms wrapped around Brian and she leaned up against his chest and clung onto him like a child needing comfort from their parent.
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10/29/2018 Horoscope
Aries: There’s a difference between pity and care.
Taurus: You present yourself femininely, today. All pink and lace and flowing skirts on an hourglass figure. You’re a her, and for today you still hate the constant, but you feel like presenting true to yourself. 
Gemini: Well, that’s interesting. You go to the diner and turns out, the waitress doesn’t feel off to you, either. She’s whole. You think you’re pretty lucky to have all your friends be whole, because you don’t think you could stand them if they weren’t. You eat a bite of pancake that’s absolutely slathered in syrup and it’s okay.
Cancer: You meet at a fancy bar. You never really did like these places, but he always preferred the classier joints. Speaking of, he’s sitting on a bar stool, waiting for you. You aren’t the only one who dressed up like old times, though that could just be what he wears nowadays. It’s been so long, now. She looks up from his phone ans spots you. He smirks and wolf whistles, asking if you got all dolled up just for little ole him. You know this song and dance so well you could do it in your sleep, so you reply that you’re dressing for you, no one else. He rolls his eyes, and breaks script, joking in a way that isn’t a joke that you’re all about that solo act, huh? You reply that you certainly don’t need anyone else to steal the spotlight. You remember this as well, the dancing around a topic, talking about a problem without talking about it, drowning in the subtext. 
Leo: It’s warming up, so you’re expecting to start getting busy again. Prime tourist season isn’t too far away. (You meet up with V in the square. It feels like you haven’t seen him all winter, but you did, of course you did, he was there with it, but wait, no-)
Virgo: Your sister picks up and you can’t breath. She says hello, asks how you’ve been, happy as can be, and you can’t make noise, you can’t breath. As the moment stretches, you remain silent. After a long moment, she says your name and she sounds worried, why did you do this, you’re worrying her. You make a strange wheeze sob into the phone, and she’s on high alert now, asking you if you’re okay, what’s wrong, what’s happened, and whatever was blocking your lungs suddenly collapses in on itself and you’re sobbing. It takes a minute of your ugly crying and her comforting babble before you can gasp out a question, asking if she can come over. She says she’ll be right over and then hangs up. You hug the phone to your chest and wait.
Libra: It’s funny, she says, collapsed at your table like a puppet with her strings cut, you never expected to win. You all went into this just hoping to get the case, just hoping to get the trial, and you did! You guys did, and that means you won, you got what you were aiming for, but it just. She guesses that it just went on for so long that she, she started expecting, hoping, to actually win. She scoffs at herself, says that well, that was just stupid of her, wasn’t it? Just so fucking stupid. You don’t think it was stupid- Do you know what they said the reason was? She cuts in. They said that monsters didn’t have rights, so there couldn’t be a violation against them. She laughs and it’s like broken glass, a sharp, bitter sound, jagged edges scraping together. She guesses she was just a fucking fool. You start to say something, but she whips her head around to show you a smile that reveals every single one of her sharp teeth and suddenly reminds you that she’s a predator. You’re into Halloween, right? And it’s a rhetorical question, because she forges on, asks if you’d like to go to a monster party. It’s rough and wild and rowdy, the biggest celebration for them all year, and god but she needs a drink after this. There’s something fragile in her eyes, something that reminds you of a bird that’s had it’s wings broken and healed so many times that it doesn’t even try to fly anymore and pecks anyone that would try to pick it up. You say that it sounds like a good time, and her jagged grin widens into something a touch more genuine but no less feral as she says that oh it is, it’s a hell of a time.
Scorpio: it feels nice to vent. or, felt, i guess. I’m starting to understand why speople do this, it’s not the worst it’s bess better than having the thoughts stuck in my head.
Sagittarius: You confess. The priest said she likes secrets, holds them like treasures, said that she offers a willing ear and you don’t know what else to do, so you confess. You speak to the other bowl like there’s someone there to talk to. You talk about your delivery job, you talk about running packages, you talk about how nice the streets look in fall. You talk about your house, you talk about Her, you talk about the house spirits. You talk about the SPSG, you talk about the hole in the ground, you talk about booze. You talk about the old woman, you talk about a burning house that didn’t burn, you talk about giant eyes. You talk about drifting away from your friends, you talk about wanting companions but being too tired to allow them near, you talk of failing the simple spirits that were depending on you. You talk of feeling trapped in your own house, you talk of the fear the halls hold for you after so many incidents within, you talk of a sense of being unable to abandon the only thing you have left of Her. You talk and talk and talk and you’ve started crying at some point, though you don’t know when. You sob and stop talking, using the heel of your hand to wipe away your tears. Your confession has been heard.
Capricorn: You have to ditch the bike soon enough, no gas and no money to get more. That’s fine. You walk. You’ve played this role before, you can be the wanderer. You walk.
Aquarius: You head into the gym and immediately head towards Suzy. You don’t even let her get a word out before you’re asking if she’s forgiven you. She makes a surprised noise, and you continue, is she forgiving you, or is she just forgetting? Because you think, you know there’s a difference there, and you have to know, did she forgive or forget? There’s a right answer to this question, and she tries to dodge, she says that it wasn’t you, it was that thing making you do it, controlling you- You agreed to it. You cut her off and her word stumble to a stop. You agreed to it, you sought it out, you let it do that to you- It wasn’t you! You didn’t know what you were doing- You knew every second. You weren’t mindless, you weren’t a pawn, you were a partner, you were it’s spouse. You planned and you tricked innocents to follow you, to fall in love with you. You manipulated them knowingly, and at this point you’ve gathered steam and the words are just falling out uncontrollably and Suzy is staring wide-eyed at you. Does she forgive you? You killed an unknowable amount of people and you can’t even say you’re sorry, there’s no emotions attached to your few memories, no way to be sorry. You knew it was wrong and you still did it. Does she forgive you? There’s vague flashes, of when you’d sacrifice them, feed them to it, and you had always been so satisfied. Does she forgive you? Or is she just rewriting history and forgetting it, forgetting you? She tries to say something, but you barrel right over her, asking once more with all the feeling you’re now capable of, is she forgiving or forgetting? There’s a long pause and your breathing is heavy, and she doesn’t answer. You knew it, you knew it, you knew it, and you’re turning and running, and you’re heading home, you can’t deal with this, you can’t.
Pisces: The children dog your steps as you walk through town. They keep darting off and coming back, keep trying to get your attention, but you have no attention to spare today. You don’t man your stand. You barely see the people you pass on the streets. Your eyes are focused inward as your feet carefully follow the paths you sense, thrumming up through the earth to you. There’s plants sprouting in your wake and each step brings down a shock of power. You trace your fingers along walls as you pass, inscribing spells onto them in liquid light. At some point, a villager finally stops you, asking what you’re doing. Your unfocused eyes don’t look at them as you mumble that there’s only a few days to prepare, you refuse to lose any. You shake away from them and continue on, puppeted by the flow of magic through you, exhausted from the drain.
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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years ago
Possessed: a Jacksepticeye Fan Fiction
Previous | Next
Part Three: Broken Homes
(Originally, this was going to be the last part, but it got much too long, so there should be one more)
Summary: The boys deal with the aftermath of Halloween night, and make a plan for the next day.
Warning, things get kinda upsetting in the first paragraph. Graphic description of stabbing and death. Skip if you’re sensitive.
The blood splattered on the floor, soaking easily into the rug. The victim choked, arms flailing weakly, trying to somehow staunch the flow from the wound on his neck. He’d only live a few moments more, but that was plenty of time to be in unimaginable pain. The killer dragged his knife along the victim’s stomach, splitting it open. The victim couldn’t scream, and only made a few small noises.The killer laughed hoarsely. He raised the knife and drove it into the victim’s chest. Then again. And again. Seven times he stabbed, the victim unable to stop him. But the killer was just as helpless. In his mind, he screamed over and over, silently begging the thing controlling him to stop, to put down the knife. But the thing only laughed, mocking him for being so weak, so powerless. He could do something, but instead he’s just watching it happen. If you want to stop it so badly, then do something. Cry out, call for help, scream in despair, say something, say anything, but you can’t, you can only watch...
Jameson jerked awake, breathing heavy. A nightmare. It was only a nightmare. But also a memory.
Sitting up, JJ tried to remember where he was. Sun was streaming through open windows. Everything was...clear. Much clearer than it had been for a long, long time. The events of the previous night suddenly came crashing down, bringing mixed emotions flooding with them. On the one hand, Jameson was free. Free from Anti’s influence, forever. On the other hand, decades had passed. Everyone he’d known and loved was probably dead. Friends, family, coworkers...
Jameson shook his head. He couldn’t bother these lovely people with all his troubles. What kind of repayment would that be, dumping all his trauma on the ones who’d rescued him? Actually...where were they?
JJ stood up. The screen from the night before—the TV—was turned off. A messy pile of blankets on the floor showed where Marvin had slept. The sound of friendly voices came from a nearby room. JJ wandered over and poked his head through the doorway.
It appeared to be the kitchen/dining room, though more advanced than the ones Jameson knew. The counter was covered in messy bowls and plates, jugs of milk and bottles of orange juice. A sliding glass door led outside to the backyard. Chase, Jackie, and Marvin—wearing the same outfits from the night before—were all present, Chase and Jackie arguing while Marvin sat at the dining table staring at a small black rectangle in his hand.
“I refuse to eat anything with blueberries in it,” Jackie said, folding his arms. “They’re fucking disgusting.”
“But you can’t take the chocolate chips!” Chase gasped. “The kids love them, and I’m almost out!”
“Alright, no chocolate, but keep those filthy little berries out of the batter. I’d rather eat the pancakes plain.”
“Or you could, you know, make two batches,” Marvin jumped in without looking up from the device in his hand.
“We didn’t make enough batter,” Chase explained. “And we don’t have ingredients for more.”
“Jesus Christ, Chase, what does it take to get you to go grocery shopping?” Jackie said, exasperated. “Any longer, and I’ll have to drag you to the shop by your toes.”
Jameson coughed, drawing the attention of everyone else. “Oh, you’re awake!” Jackie said, smiling cheerfully. “Great! Are you hungry? We made pancakes.”
JJ paused, taking in the mess on the kitchen counter. He raised an eyebrow.
“Well, we made the batter, at least,” Jackie amended. “Now we’re trying to decide if we want anything in it? D’you have any preferences?”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Chase rushed across the room, grabbed a notepad and pencil that was sitting on the table, and threw it to Jameson, who fumbled before catching it.
“Oh. Right. Sorry,” Jackie muttered, embarassed.
Jameson quickly wrote, No, it’s perfectly alright. We met each other just last night, after all.
“Don’t worry, I’ll remember,” Jackie assured him. “Now, d’you want anything with your pancakes?”
I’ll stick with the plain Jane variety, if you don’t mind.
“Got it.” Jackie turned to Chase and said triumphantly, “That’s two votes for no blueberries! That means we win!”
“I vote for blueberries,” Marvin said, waving his hand.
Jackie turned to him. “Oh, come on! We just reached a decision! Why do you always have to do this?”
“I like to fuck things up,” Marvin shrugged.
“Okay, you know what, we’re making both, we’ll figure it out,” Chase stepped in.
As Jackie and Chase set about making the pancakes, Jameson crossed the room and sat at the dining table, across from Marvin. “Hey, you ever seen a cell phone?” Marvin asked, waving the rectangular device he was holding. JJ shook his head. “It’s cool. Phones can do almost anything nowadays. And you can touch the screen. Check it out.”
Marvin handed the phone over, and watched as Jameson’s expression changed from puzzlement to wonder. “You can tap on the little icons to open shit,” Marvin said. “Not literally, of course. I dunno if that’s what you thought.” JJ tapped the screen a couple times, a small smile crossing his face. It lit up his face, and Marvin couldn’t help but smile back. When he wasn’t scared and traumatized, JJ was a right little ray of sunshine.
But in a split second, everything changed. Jameson’s smile fell, his face went white, and he dropped the phone on the table. “Whoa, what happened?” Marvin picked up the phone. He frowned. “It’s just glitching out a bit. My phone is kinda shitty like that. Are...are you okay?”
Jameson nodded, though he was still pale. Marvin wasn’t fooled at all, but he dropped it, changing the subject. “So, d’you have any idea where you want to stay?” he asked. “I mean, I guess you could crash with Chase for a couple days, but his kids come to visit on the weekends and I dunno if you want to meet them, or whatever. And Jackie’s apartment is pretty small. Have any ideas?”
A confused expression crossed JJ’s face. You didn’t suggest your own home in that list. Is it unavailable?
“No, ah, not exactly.” Marvin laughed nervously. “I guess if you wanna you could stay in my hotel room for a bit, but that’s not a, um, stable location. ‘Cause, you know, I don’t own it.”
If it’s not too rude to ask, why are you staying in a hotel and not your own home?
Before Marvin could answer—or think of a way to dodge the question—the other two provided a distraction. “Flip them now, Chase!” “I know how to make pancakes, discount Spider-Man!” “Not good pancakes! Flip ‘em!”
“Fucking hell, you two, why is cooking the thing that destroys your friendship?” Marvin said, exasperated.
“Who would’ve thought it came down to breakfast?” Chase sighed dramatically. Meanwhile, Jackie took advantage of his distraction to reach over and hurriedly flip the pancakes. “Hey! Don’t think I didn’t see that!” The two of them proceeded to wrestle over the spatula while standing next to a hot griddle.
“None of us are adults,” Marvin shook his head. “JJ, you better have some common sense, ‘cause this group really fucking needs it.”
I suppose that depends on your definition of ‘common sense.’
“Well, you can’t be any worse than the rest of us. Anyway, back to the question. Where d’you want to stay?”
Jameson hesitated, pencil frozen on paper. Then, slowly, This may sound absurd, but I would prefer to go home. My house, that is. I believe you know the place I am talking about.
Marvin frowned. “That...doesn’t sound like a good idea. Actually, it sounds like a terrible idea. A no-good, fucking horrible shitwreck of an idea, for so many reasons I’m gonna have to take a moment to process that you actually said it.”
“Pancakes are ready!” Chase said cheerfully, setting plates on the dining table. The buttery smell filled the room.
“And we got drinks, too,” Jackie added, carefully balancing a stack of glasses while holding a jug of milk and a bottle of orange juice.
“Be careful, Jackie,” Chase said, keeping an eye on the stack. “I don’t want to have broken glass on the floor when the kids come over.”
“Oh yeah, because you’re gonna leave any glass just on the floor for anyone to step on, for two whole days,” Jackie retorted. “Or, you know, like I’m gonna just not clean up my own mess. Anyway, there’s no need to worry, see?” He’d successfully set all four glasses on the table without dropping any.
“Oh hey, Jackie, can you explain to our new friend why it’s a fucking awful idea to go back and live in the old house where the evil creature is probably still lurking?” Marvin asked, overly polite.
Jackie looked at Jameson, puzzled. “Is that really true?”
JJ thought about it, then wrote, I don’t know where else I would go.
“Well, any of us would be happy to take you in,” Jackie assured him. “But if you really want to, I don’t think we can stop you.”
“Wha-what?” Marvin spluttered. “Okay, never mind the malicious, homicidal, supernatural entity. How about the fact that the place is a shithole that’s falling apart with holes in the floor? And there’s no food or place to sleep anywhere?”
“We can make it work,” Jackie said positively. “It can’t be too hard to fix up. And besides, it’s not like we can force Jameson to stay here, can we?”
Marvin looked like he very much wanted to do exactly that. Luckily, Chase saw the warning signs and jumped in with a solution, “Hey, how ‘bout we all go there together and check it out? Then we can see if there’s anything evil there, and how much of a fixer-upper it is.”
Recognizing the line Chase was throwing him, and not wanting to fight with Marvin, Jackie agreed, “That’s a great idea, Chase. And if anything goes wrong, we’ll have each others’ backs. You know, like a team. Eh, Marvin?”
The magician sighed. “Alright, I guess it can’t hurt. But let’s go after breakfast, okay?”
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aj-the-bluejay · 3 years ago
Question time!
Tagged by @rebellingstagnationblog​ and @ladyariaa​. A two-fer!
1. Coke or Pepsi: They both have great drinks but I am emotionally attached to Coke.
2. Disney or DreamWorks: Disney. DreamWorks didn’t give me ducks.
3. Coffee or tea: Both. I don’t drink coffee all that much nowadays but I gotta have when I go to this certain diner in my hometown.
4. Books or movies: 
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Yeah, stealing Reese’s answer, but I love both and think they are equally excellent mediums for telling stories.
5. Windows or Mac: Windows. Used Macs in high school and didn’t like ‘em.
6. DC or Marvel: Marvel. They make good movies.
7. Xbox or Playstation: Nintendo. But I’ll take PlayStation over Xbox ANY day of the week.
8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Haven’t played either. However, imma take their genres and ask myself, Fantasy or Sci-Fi? Sci-Fi.
9. Night owl or early riser: Night owl. Sleeping in is a favorite pastime of mine. (Plus,as y’all have seen, I like to upload my stuff late at night.
10. Cards or chess: Cards. More possible games. Plus, you can’t play Texas Hold ‘Em with a bishop.
11. Chocolate or vanilla: They’re both good depending on the situation. Chocolate cake will ALWAYS trump vanilla cane to me.
12. Vans or converse: Converse. I love me some Chucks.
13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Again, haven’t played Dragon Age.
14. Fluff or angst: I’m an angst whore. But I also like fluff. Hence why I devoted 6,000 to fluff and how it fell off Gosalyn one day. (Check out “Plucked and Primed” if you haven’t already. Never not self-promo-ing!)
15. Beach or forest: I like both. But beach wins by a slight margin.
16. Dogs or cats: My bulldog makes me love dogs more than cats.
17. Clear skies or rain: Rain, I love the aura that comes with it. But we gotta have some sunny days to break up the monotony.
18. Cooking or eating out: I like to cook but there are so many awesome restaurants I can order from. I love both.
19. Spicy or mild food: I like spicy but not blow your mouth off. I tried something called “Death by Salsa” a few years back, and son of a bitch, I was SUFFERING.
20. Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas: Christmas. There’s no such thing as a Halloween tree.
21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: I’ve recently come to realize that I prefer warmer climates. So I’d rather be a bit too hot, I guess.
22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: To fly, or to teleport. Also, if I could turn into my fursona at will, that’d be tight.
23. Animation or live action: I hold more animated films in higher regard in my heart. They’re both excellent ways of telling stories, though.
24. Paragon or renegade: Haven’t played Mass Effect. I’d lean Neutral Good to True Neutral.
25. Bath or shower: Shower.
26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Crap, I missed out on Captain America - Civil War. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Iron Man!
27. Fantasy or sci-fi: If I knew this was gonna be here, I wouldn’t have spun #8 the way I did. I guess I’ll reiterate and say Sci-Fi.
28. Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they?
“Let’s get dangerous.” - Darkwing Duck
...uhhhhhhh, I’ll get back to you on the rest.
29. YouTube or Netflix: YouTube, hands down.
30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter. 
31. When you feel accomplished: When people say nice things about the stuff I’ve posted.
32. Star Wars or Star Trek: With questions like that, you’re gonna cause wars. Star Wars.
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I’m sorry. My answer is Star Wars.
33. Paperback books or hardcover books: Hardcover. They’re way more durable. But that price, siiiiiiiiiiiigh
34. Fantastic Beasts or Cursed Child: Fantastic Beasts. Haven’t read Cursed Child yet. Maybe I should.
35. Rock or pop music: Rock. No contest. There are only a few pop artists I like, but 4x as many rock artists and bands that I love.
36. What is the most important thing in your life: My family and friends, both IRL and online.
37. Mountains or sea/ocean: The sea. I’d totally move out by the sea.
38) Name a couple of songs you’ve been really into recently.
“Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today” - Fall Out Boy
“Little Things” - Bush
“Intolerance” - Tool
I tag YOU!
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mahimo39 · 10 months ago
October 31, 2020/November 4, 2020
Jeez, I am awful at keeping up with this nowadays. Anyways, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
It’s a crazy time still. COVID-19 is more rampant than ever, and I think I saw on twitter yesterday that the United States had the most positive cases of the virus in 24 hours of all time. I think it was over 100,000, but I could be wrong (I’m probably not). I’m still doing in-person learning at Emerson with a hybrid of remote learning as well, so that’s cool that we were able to actually make it this far. At the beginning of the semester, the joke everyone had was that we were just going to be sent back home in a couple weeks, but that didn’t come true. Cases are still low at my school, so that’s a great thing. 
Other highlights that I should probably document: my first apartment, boy problems, teeth and Election 2020.
So I moved into my first apartment this year! It’s in East Boston, and it’s a four bedroom. Three of the bedrooms and the two bathrooms are upstairs, and one bedroom, the kitchen and living room is downstairs. It’s been a really good time thus far, and I love my roommates a lot! It’s myself, Noah Espinola, Alec Martinez, Rocco Sanabria, Emily Houger, and Alyssa Weinberg (kind of). Rocco and Emily share a room, as they should, and Alec and Alyssa share a room, as they should. Alyssa isn’t here all the time, but she’s definitely living here more than Noah does. I never see Noah cause he’s always out with his girlfriend in Allston, but good for him—how could I blame him? Rocco and Emily are a DYNAMIC DUO, and you can catch them together doing the cutest things. Alec and Alyssa are adorable together, and they are like a fun old married couple—in my eyes, at least. I think I’m jealous of all of them? Loneliness is not a new topic of discussion in these blogs, so let’s just call it how it is. Wow, this is a perfect transition to my next subject.
B O Y S. Ugh. I really hate my mind when it comes to this. I swear my biggest enemy is me (thank you Lady Gaga). I really don’t get it. I had a good thing going on with this guy named Alex, and he was sweet, but there’s just always something in my head telling me that it’s not what I want. I know how I feel about other people, and if I can’t reach that level of emotions for someone over time, then I just know it can’t work. I’m still deeply interested in good ol’ Jacob Ulman, but what can I do? I told him the other day that I needed to speak to him, and he told me over Snapchat to go to “horny jail” (whatever that means), and I was not to thrilled with that response. Then in person, I started the conversation again, but I was treated back with an, “Again, Maximo!?!? For a THIRD time!?!?” I pretty much said don’t give me that right now, cause I wasn’t going to take that, but then he was saved by the bell. Cameron Carleton called, and he was right behind us and joined. I wasn’t able to finish the conversation with him, and I don’t even know if I want to continue the conversation anymore. I just have so much trouble sleeping over him, and I wish I was able to either move on or to have a chance with him. That’s all. In the meantime, I’m still losing my mind.
Oh yeah! A fun little update. I got Smile Direct Club, and my teeth look a lot better. I’m done in a couple of weeks, so it’ll be nice to not have these aligners on all the time...
Last but certainly not the least—Election 2020. So, this is a chaotic time in recent history. Black Lives Matter protests are rampant across the nation, Donald Trump is holding rallies with zero social distancing measures and the democrat and republican parties are at each other’s throats. There’s so much to say, my God. Amy Coney Barrett was just nominated and confirmed into the Supreme Court, and so many people are pissed—including me. Rights of people are extremely vulnerable right now, and I am terrified for what’s going to happen with her in this term. 
Okay, sorry I’ve been gone for a few days now. Lot’s of things going on. Election’s for Phi Alpha Tau was not fun at all, and I’m still technically president for a few more days until a special election this upcoming Sunday. The ACTUAL 2020 election is insane right now. I’m watching CNN nonstop. Right now, CNN projects the electoral map to be 253 for Biden and 213 for Trump. I hope AZ pulls through. Biden needs AZ and NV to get to 270, and it’s really getting down the wire. Trump is calling for the Supreme Court to stop counting ballots so that he can win, and it’s literal insanity. Who asks to NOT COUNT VOTES. I’m also disheartened to see how close the race is anyways. Trump is making this election potentially violent with his rhetoric right now, and I am scared for what may happen in the next few days. On the bright side, AZ is looking like it’s going to go blue for the first time since 1996 with Bill Clinton, and AZ legalized weed. We also flipped a Senate seat with Mark Kelly, so that’s also pretty huge. By the way, today is Wednesday, Nov. 4. Just to give an update.
Lot’s of love. Historic days!!!
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sleeplessnightwithphan · 3 years ago
Parfois Tu Me Manques
Summary: “Maybe I should finish up this letter anyway. It’s getting kind of really long, and it’s not like you are going to be reading it. Just a way for me to try and keep my sanity. Like I’m said. I’m managing. But managing was so much easier when you were still around.”
Genre: Angst, fluff
Word Count: 1.2k
A/N: Ok, so this is a fic for Anne ( @honeybearhowell ) - who, by the way, is absolutely wonderful and funny and kind and amazing- a as part of a Secret Santa.
You once said that you like fics where you get “punched in the tits ”. Well, that’s what I’m here to (try to) give you, so buckle up my dear friend.
About the trigger warnings; as they are technically true, I’ll mention them - I don’t want to trigger people. But like, I’m not gonna give you a super sad fic, wouldn’t be able to do that. I love these boys too much to be able to do that to them, and it’s a Christmas present for God’s sake.
But anyway, I hope you’ll like it anyway, I love you very very much, and I wish you a Happy (late) New Year in which you’ll get everything you want!  <3<3<3
TW: Implied death, implied suicide (you’ll see).
Read on AO3: X
Hey Phil.
How are you? Everything ok over there?
It’s been a while since I’ve been able to talk to you. I kinda miss that baritone voice of yours a lot, more than I imagined I would. It used to be one of the things that would bring me the most happiness, the most comfort when I wasn’t feeling my best.
Now just thinking about it makes me wish I could hold in you in my arms again.
But to be honest, can you blame me? You were the one who had to leave me, who had to go away.
And yes, I know this isn’t what you would’ve wanted either. You didn’t want to leave me, just as much as I didn’t want you to go. You wanted to stay with me, stay with the little pupper we just adopted, give us both all the love you could.
Sadly, that’s just not what happened. And as much as I want to complain about it, or try and change it, that’s just not going to happen. This is how it had to happen, and that’s just something I’m going to have to live with.
I kind of wish I could’ve gone there with you. That there was nothing keeping me here, nothing preventing me me from being there with you.
But that would be very selfish of me. Someone had to stay here, take care of things. Someone had to take care of Winnie. At least one of us is needed here, and as it turns out, I’m the one who had to be the one to stay behind.
You know what the weirdest thing is?
A lot of things are still the same in our little apartment. People who only come here once every while might not even see that there’s anything different about it nowadays. Might not even notice the little things that aren’t the way they used to be.
But I do.
I notice the way there’s no longer any socks scattered around, as if they were forming a trail to be followed to you.
I notice the way there’s no cupboard being left open for me to hit my head on - I’m not really sure if I’m glad about that or not.
I notice the way the bed feels so much colder in the morning. And perhaps that’s the worst thing.
You’d think that by now, I’d be used to it - it’s been a while since you were there for the last time, after all. But no.
I still expect you to be there when I open my eyes, still expect to be able to cuddle up into your warm arms, and to wish you a good morning. Get ready to take on whatever the day might bring us together.
It’s just, I’m not meant to be own my own. That’s what I’ve found out ever since you’ve been gone. I’m starting to freak myself out more and more, getting scared by my own shadow.
(And no, that’s not just me exaggerating. I actually got scared by my own shadow on the wall yesterday.)
I’m trying to manage the best I can without you. It’s weird, because I never really had to. Not like this. Never for more than a few days at the time. And even then, you were only a quick text away.
Now, there’s absolutely nothing. No wake up kisses, no cooking meals together - or at least attempting to. No taking long walks with the dog together. No nothing.
This is also making me realise how much of our lives has been shared. How important we are to one another. How I used to take all the things you did for granted, not even realising it was you anymore. It had just become part of my life as well.
As much as I used to say back in the days that we were not a duo, that we were separate people, the fact is that our lives have always been intertwined so much. And maybe I used to not like that at all, and be very vocal about it (sorry about that), nowadays I don’t really mind all that much anymore.
(No, those are not tears in my eyes, what are you talking about?)
But like I said, I’m trying to manage, trying to keep myself busy.
Winnie helps a lot with that. She’s grown so much since you’ve been gone, I don’t think you’d still recognise her to be honest. She’s a proper lady already.
I took her to the dog park today. She spent the entire time there playing with a Dalmatian dog who was like twice her size, but you know Winnie. Never afraid of anything (unlike the guy who owns her - I might have almost wet myself when a little boy jumpscared me. Halloween has come early this year apparently).
She’s asleep on the sofa next to me now, which I know you would never allow her to do when I could see.
Was that your way of trying to impress me? Showing me you could be dominant? Because don’t think I never saw you helping her up there when you thought I wasn’t around.
You could never resist her cute face. Neither can I, trust me. She’s had so many treats since it’s just the two of us. You can’t stop me giving them to her anymore anyways.
(She misses you too. Keeps looking for you, even sits by the front door sometimes, seemingly waiting for you to get back. I keep telling her it’s to no avail, but she doesn’t understand that. It’s kind of breaking my heart to see her like that.)
Ok, you know where I said that she was asleep? Scrap that, she has just woken up and is looking at me intensely. I’m afraid I’ll have to go outside again and take her for her walk.
Maybe I should finish up this letter anyway. It’s getting kind of really long, and it’s not like you are going to be reading it. Just a way for me to try and keep my sanity.
Like I’m said. I’m managing. But managing was so much easier when you were still around.
Forever yours,
PS: I’ve gotten back from walking Winnie and just reread this monstrosity of a letter. I kinda make it sound like you’re dead or something, don’t I? Jesus Christ, writing an entire ode to my husband when I have to miss him for a bit, how sappy of me. Here’s to another addition to the ever-growing list of “reasons why Dan’s a fail”.
(But to be fair, you’ve left me on my own for almost a month, you should’ve seen something like this coming. Especially with us not being able to really communicate as much, what with all the bad reception you’ve got up there. Kinda driving me mad.)
PPS: Tell your parents their Third Son says hi, and that next time we’ll plan our puppy adoption accordingly so we can both join them on holiday.
Or just plan our next adoption in general.
Ok, maybe don’t tell them about that yet. I wanna see their faces when we tell them they’ll be grandparents.
See you next week, and I’m going to go back to making you one of those huge ass signs to welcome you when you finally get home. Love you!
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melancholiablackbile · 4 years ago
A lot of questions... my my, someone's curious lol
@black-satin-dancer tagged me, cheers dude :D
Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions …pshh please, let’s keep it realistic - I don’t even know that many people irl. (also didn’t feel obligated to answer the Dragon age/Mars effect questions, because I’ve never played it)
1. coke or pepsi?
Neither. I absolutely hate fizzy sweet drinks lol. The only thing I enjoy is kombucha and I’ve had ginger ale which I can tolerate. (btw did you know there’s something called bacon soda? I just found out and I’m absolutely horrified and disgusted. pls burn this knowledge out of my brain thank)
2. disney or dreamworks?
I don’t have a preference, nor am I overly invested in any of the two, so it depends. By Disney I really like Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare before Christmas and Frankenweenie, to pick a few. As for DreamWorks, Penguins of Madagascar are THE SHIT omg 3. coffee or tea? I’m a tea person, however I enjoy coffee flavour in things
4. books or movies?
5. windows or mac?
I use windows, don’t feel like I’m missing out or anything tbh
6. dc or marvel?
I’m only starting to get into comics, and I’ve probably seen more marvel films than dc ones, but I think I like dc a little more I like the older Batman films by Tim Burton.
7. xbox or playstation?
playstation. “OF COURSE we’re going to go with the ps4 - they’re blacker!” :D
8. dragon age or mass effect?
Haven’t played either, but was thinking about giving Dragon age a go
9. night owl or early riser?
aw shit dude, I don’t even know anymore. my sleeping schedule is so fucked up lately, I tend to be a night owl tho. But hey, time isn’t really anyway, so..
10. cards or chess?
both, but you can do more with cards. like chess is just one game, but there are lots of different card games. I personally identify with CAH, I think the company should hire me, because I’m a horrible person lmao
11. chocolate or vanilla?
chocolate all the way. I don’t eat it often, but when I do, I’m a snob about it - I only like the dark stuff (only vegan ofc). bonus points, if there’s dried fruit like berries in it. To sum it up (i’m taking this way too seriously and detailed lol, but I have insomnia ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) overall, chocolate flavour is better I guess, vanilla makes me vomit, it’s disgusting and I hate it. 12.vans or converse? I used to own a pair of converse, but neither are shoes I’d wear now
13. fluff or angst?
a good combination of both ehehe
14. beach or forest?
forests are awesome - they are green and smell amazing, you can spot a lot of wild animals and the atmosphere is very serene and calming. I’ll always pick forests over beaches, unless the beach is all sand or small round marble stones, the water is clear without the detached, rotting algae stuff that floats around and ew, the sun has fucked off so I don’t get sunburnt (my skin always skips the tan stage right to red and I prefer pale skin anyway) and all sweaty and shit, there are NO people beside those I’m there with and I do NOT spot any animal while in the water that’s bigger than like 5cm. Because even though I love and respect it deeply, I’m genuinely afraid of sea life, I don’t care that there are lots of totally harmless creatures. …lmao, I feel like a rich asshole saying all that - way too many demands. (sorry sea/ocean, I love you, but you freak me the fuck out)
15. dogs or cats?
I have dogs, but I love both. With dogs, the love is more likely to be returned though :D
16. clear skies or rain?
clear night skies for star gazing, rain during the day
17. cooking or eating out?
I eat mostly raw vegan nowadays, because it’s healthy I don’t have the energy to cook and can’t be arsed and I’m not too fond of eating in public so… preparing/eating food at home?
18. spicy food or mild food?
all the spices lol
19. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas?
How is this a question, have you met me? My whole existence basically revolves around celebrating Halloween like every day
20. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot?
The first one is way better imho, I’m usually a little too cold anyway (no pun intended omg) and I’m fine with that.
21. if you could have a superpower, what would it be?
Hydrokinesis (so basically I’d be a water bender ehehe) or Telepathy
22. animation or live action?
both are great (with the exception of some anime adaptations lol)
23. baths or showers?
showers don’t take too long, but baths are very nice from time to time
24. team cap or team ironman?
Team Loki, duh! No, but honestly, I’m not really invested in the whole civil war thing, but if cap is a nazi, then I’m team ironman
25. fantasy or sci-fi?
both are amazing and bring happiness into my life
26. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they?
I guess I have a lot of favourite ones, but these two came to my mind right now: “I do desire we may be strangers” (Shakespeare) it’s such a classy and eloquent way to tell someone you hate them :D “And so being young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy” (E.A. Poe) because ME tbh
27. youtube or netflix? 
Youtube, no netflix here
28. harry potter or percy jackson?
Harry Potter all the way. I’ve read the first Percy jackson pentalogy and don’t get me wrong, Greek mythology is awesome, but wizards over demigods
29. when do you feel accomplished?
Idk, when I’m able to do more than the bare minimum and when I totally Tony Stark the whole subject/study material the night before the exam. and probably smug/petty rather than accomplished - when I prove horrible people/people I don’t like wrong or do things they don’t approve of lol
30. star wars or star trek?
I have to say Star Trek but I love both
31. paperback or hardback books?
Hardback. HARDBACK!
32. horror or rom-com?
I’ve always gravitated towards horror - psychological, gothic, really bad b/c movie style, etc. - I get bored by rom-coms
33. tv shows or movies?
depends, but both. as an aspiring actor, beside theatre, I think I’d like to work on films over tv shows - if I ever get the chance to do so that is
34. favourite animal?
penguins, rats, corvids.. but like, birds in general and all animals are awesome anyway and precious and worth of life 35. favourite genre of music? alternative rock - which is a broad spectrum tho, so I guess rock sub-genres in general.. art rock, goth rock, punk rock my favourite (purely because of the name) is krautrock (aka kosmische Musik) which is the German term for space rock, but the literal translation is either herb or cabbage rock lmao :D throw in some psychedelic stuff, ambient music, experimental and classical and I’m good to go
36. least favourite book?
Madame Bovary. I think The Great Gatsby was boring too. I don’t usually read books without researching it a bit before so I can somewhat predict whether I’ll like it or not. (btw, if you’re into fantasy at all, 10/10 recommend reading the series A Raven’s Shadow by Anthony Ryan, he’s such an eloquent writer and the plot and characters are incredible! 37. favourite season? The season of Halloween - autumn all the way
38. song that’s currently stuck in your head?
Cinnamon Bone by Eliza Rickman. She has a really nice voice and combined with the melody it sounds very unique. Actually didn’t know who the singer was until a few days ago. She also performed in the weather section in a Welcome to Night Vale episode. Oh and I rewatched CATS the musical on Sunday, so like.. the whole libretto is playing in my head on loop :D I’ve pretty much known the entire thing by heart since I was like 8 lol
39. what kind of pyjamas do you wear?
Either boxer shorts or Levi Ackerman’s running titan pyjamas lmao
40. how many existential crises do you have on an average day?
I’m having an ongoing one since the age of 16 tbh
41. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be?
Space Oddity by David Bowie
42. favourite theme song to a TV show?
I’ve know this song before I started watching the show, but Far from Any Road from True Detective is amazing. And the opening to snk season 2 lol, it gets me all fired up and ready to salivate every time Levi appears cry probably idk :D
43. harry potter movies or books?
even though, they are problematic in some aspects, both have their charm (pun absolutely intended this time)
44. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? 
Bitch, my otp is canon. and I doubt anyone can really forget about tumblr - you can try and leave, but it will never leave you
45. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? 
Not like professionally or since early childhood and all that, but I taught myself how to play the violin and I think I’m pretty decent. Same goes for drums. My dad and I low-key collect musical instruments, I think we have around 20+ pieces ^^
46. what is the worst way to die?
alone and helpless and in excruciating pain from whatever the cause was that didn’t kill you immediately though, so you have to suffer
47. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? 
Be sneaky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) lol idk, I’d do stuff anxiety and self-consciousness prevent me from in normal life. Okay, that is so pathetic, but my first thought was “I’d go swimming” … *wipes away a tear*
48. If you could have personally witnessed anything in history what would it be?
I feel like it’s kinda selfish and considering I’d choose this out of any moment in history maybe a wasted opportunity? but I would have loved to see David Bowie perform. Idk, I’m sure there’s more, but it’s 3am here..
49. If you could understand animals but you could never understand humans again, would you?
I find I often don’t understand humans anyway..
50. What is your most favourite album currently?
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars by David Bowie is my go to favourite album, haven’t really listened to whole albums lately, just a few songs here and there 51. (my question) What is your favourite word/phrase/colloquiallism? Name one (or more) per language you speak c:
tbh, Jeremy tagged most of the people I’d tag too, so I’m just adding @the-river-dream-shore and @slecnaztemnot to this if they or anyone else feel like it ;) I’m going to sleep now hopefully~
Note: Wow, that’s a lot of reading material lol. Why did I sound so angry?? I was tired, so that took a toll on my answers, I promise I’m not that much of an asshole :D
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cynicalhag · 4 years ago
The 5000 question survey part 12
1101. Continued…Let's see if I'm psychic. You wrote three yes or no questions. Now I will answer them. 1 yes
Oh here’s the continue to those wierd ass questions in part 11... Yep you’re right. 2 no
False. 3 no
False. Did I get any right?
Only one of them. Sorry bud, you’re not a psychic. 1102. You wrote one question that can be answered with a color (example: what color is my car). I say.... White. Is it true?
Nope. 1103. You thought of a number between 1 and 100 and typed it down. Was it 14?
Nope. You really suck at this. 1104. You wrote one more question, anything you wanted. The answer is yes, 42, orange, Matt, Josh, Kim, Nicole, whatever or your mom. Does that answer your question?
I don’t get this. 1105. Do you think that Britney Spears would make a good Bond Girl?
I don’t care? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Bond movie. 1106. Have you read anything by C.S. Lewis?
I’m not sure. 1107. What is your favorite movie with Bill Murray?
I don’t have one. 1108. What is your favorite movie with Jack Nicholson?
The Shining, obviously. 1109. What is your favorite movie with Christopher Walkin?
You mean Walken? Silence of the Lambs, obviously. However, I looked at his IMDB page and he was apparently part of Pulp Fiction, which is another great movie.  1110. What is your favorite movie with Johnny Depp?
Maybe Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, just cause it’s nostalgia. But he was in his hot young era when he did Cry Baby, so... I don’t know. I’m not a huge fan of his movies over all. 
1111. What is your favorite movie with Orlando Bloom?
I gotta say Lord of the Rings, just cause I’m not a big fan of Pirates of the Caribbean.
1112. What rhymes with 'orange'?
I can’t be bothered to think about this. 1113. Why do guys have nipples if they will never need to feed a baby?
It’s just made that way. All fetuses are born with nipples, but as soon as the sex is decided, they evolve further, right? I’m not a scientist or anything, but I think I’ve read about this. 1114. Some people think that couples should be screened before they are allowed to reproduce (so that people who cannot afford to support a child don’t have one, or so that a child won’t be born into a dysfunction family or to unfit parents). What do you think about this?
I think that would be very hard to do. You can’t have some babymaking cops running around stopping people from fucking. That would be impossible. I see the point though. The process of being able to adopt is crazy, so it kinda makes sense.  1115. Have you ever swallowed an object by accident?
Yeah, I swallowed a ladybug when I was a kid. My mom loves telling that story. 1116. Did you get it back?
Haha no, that poor bug faced it’s destiny in my 2-year old belly. 1117. Do you prefer He-Man or She-Ra?
I’m not sure about what that is, so I’m not going to answer something here.  1118. Are you proud of yourself?
No. What do I have to be proud of? 1119. Who should go to hell?
Christians who condemn people who are not straight, not white or a minority in any way.  1120. Is your eyesight 20/20?
I have no idea. 1121. Have you ever had insomnia?
No. 1122. Does it bother you when people touch you?
That depends on what way they’re touching me. No groping, please.  1123. Is it better to get too much or too little sleep?
Too much. 1124. Have you ever given away something you made? What?
Yeah, I gifted my mom a stool that I made in woodworking class when I was 12. Lol. 1125. Is it better to have kids when you are in your teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, or older?
30s, I’d say. I’d never have kids before that. Biologically, 20s are probably better, but hell no. 1126. What gets your adrenaline pumping?
Going into a moshpit, or riding a rollercoaster.  1127. Is hell all fire and brimstone or is it personal for everyone like in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey?
I don’t believe in hell. Or does it not exist?
^ 1128. Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person?
No. 1129. What's your favorite radio station? What kind of music do they play?
I don’t listen to the radio. 1130. What did you think of these movies: Election?
I haven’t seen it. 
Gone With the Wind?
I haven’t seen that either. 
Fight Club?
Oh man I love Fight Club. It’s so good, it’s so well made. 
Spider Man?
I haven’t watched a Spider Man movie since I was like 5, so I can’t remember.
The Virgin Suicides?
I haven’t seen that.
Resident Evil?
It wasn’t that good. Not the best horror movie out there. 
I haven’t seen it.
Muppets from Space?
Does that exist? I gotta see it. The Muppets give me mad nostalgia. 
Pearl Harbor?
I think I’ve seen it, but I’m not sure. If I have, it was years ago. 
Halloween Resurrection?
Haven’t seen it.
The Dark Crystal?
Haven’t seen it. 1131. Is everyone special?
Yeah, everyone’s unique and all that shit. 1132. Are your toes: Painted (what color)?
No, I don’t see the point of painting my toe nails. Feet are ugly anyways. Manicured?
Nope, not professionally. Sparkly?
No. Soft?
Yeah, I guess. Wearing a toe ring?
Nope, that’s another thing I don’t see the point of. Seems uncomfortable. Do you have hobbit-feet?
No. 1133. Do you believe there is anyplace still undiscovered in all the world?
Yeah, there are tons of areas in the deep sea that’s not discovered.  1134. Whose picture would you like to paint a target on and throw darts at?
Donald Trump. 1135. Is love all you need?
Nope. 1136. Ever caught a fish?
Yeah :( 1137. Are you adventurous?
To some degree, yeah. I do think that some planning is important too. 1138. Are you afraid of mediocrity?
In some ways, yeah. 1139. Would you rather die tomorrow or have all your friends die?
I’d rather die tomorrow. I don’t wanna cause that pain for all my friends’ families and loved ones. 1140. What are 3 things you don't understand? Math, physics and homophobia. 1141. I would do anything for love but I won't do 'that'. What is 'that'?
I wouldn’t be a total pushover, of course. I wouldn’t let love blind me completely.  1142. Has your diary ever been rated?
No? 1143. Do you do more than kiss on the first date?
Sure.  1144. Are you very liberal or conservative?
I’m more liberal than conservative, that’s for sure.  1145. What do you like about your neighbors?
I like my neighbour’s dog. It’s cute.  1146. I read that by 2010 they expect to market a gene therapy procedure that will increase the life spans of adult human beings by double or triple. If this happened would you have it done?
No, I wouldn’t wanna live for that long.  1147. If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap?
Nope. 1148. Was this year a good year for you?
It’s been pretty good so far. Let’s hope it stays like this. 1149. What are you looking forward to next year?
Europride! 1150. Are you a Jim Henson fan?
I wouldn’t say so.
1151. What do you think of these diarist names? ToxicToast:
It’s fine. Solitary Music:
A bit cheesy. juneberry:
Sure. 1152. Do you read the Diary Master’s diary?
No. 1153. Have you ever made an enemy on OD?
No. 1154. Have you ever (or do you know anyone who’s) been deleted from OD?
Listen, I don’t know what this shit it. I’m too young, I think. 1155. Were you ever in the first row of a concert?
Yeah, a few times.  1156. Did you ever meet a celebrity? Who?
I’ve bumped into Harry Styles once, and I’ve talked to the bassist in Against Me. 1157. Do you have any autographs?
Yeah, from Hey Violet and Creeper. 1158. Can you visualize whirled peas?
Yeah? 1159. Are there some situations where love just isn't enough to keep 2 people together? When does that happen?
I’m not fucking Dr Phil, don’t ask me this. 1160. Do you have no attention span?
No, I’ve got a pretty good attention span actually. 1161. What do you think of these entry titles? me. back. home:
? steak and butter:
? The Smurfs Go Communist:
?? The controversial Athens:
? 1162. Have you ever been wrongly accused?
Yeah. 1163. When you wash your hair do you blow dry it or let it dry naturally?
I let it dry naturally unless I’m in a hurry. 1164. Where does your family go on vacation?
My family don’t go on vacations together anymore.  1165. Have you ever been to: Newport, Rhode Island?
No. Dutch Wonderland?
No. Salem, MA?
No, but I really want to go there one day! Niagara Falls?
No, but that would be cool too. 1166. Have you ever given money to OD cares?
No? 1167. Have you ever created an OD interest?
Listen, I don’t know what OD is. Stop it. If yes, what interests did you create?
- 1168. What do you think of these entry names?
??? I had a good title but i forgot it:
? Left Alone:
That’s a Sleeping With Sirens song. yeah yeah...he kissed her:
? 1169. If you have aol what is your 'you've got mail' sound?
No one has that nowadays.  1170. What will you never have enough of?
CDs, and makeup. 1171. Who can you only handle in small doses?
A friend I’ve got.  1172. You are at a magic auction where you can bid on impossible things but you only brought enough money to buy one thing. Out of these..which would you buy? entrance into whatever afterlife you believe in a guarentee that you will have at least 3 books published in your life a new car, house and boat each year unending creative inspiration ultimate compassion and acceptance of others a trip into outer space perfect health for the rest of your life
Perfect health, if mental health is part of the deal. 1173. In the above question if finding perfect love was a choice would you change your answer?
No, health is more important. 1174. What food is so fattening or unhealthy that you would NEVER touch it?
Bacon. Never again. 1175. Which do you love more, your country or your planet?
My country, I guess. I hate the world. 1176. What do you think of: Abba?
I don’t have much of an opinion on them. My mom loves them, just as every other Swedish middle aged woman. Brian Adams?
I don’t have an opinion on him. No Doubt?
Nothing here either. I haven’t heard a song by them in forever. 1177. Are you more logical or emotional?
I’m more logical, for the most part. 1178. Do you think that tattoos and piercing are overrated?
Hell no. When were they ever overrated? 1179. What do you think of these diary titles? The Seamless Garment:
Oh my god I can’t take this anymore. Your eyes can be so cruel:
??? What was, is no more:
- shock me sane:
? 1180. Do you believe that Michael Jackson molests children?
He’s dead. 1181. Hypothetically, let’s say that he did molest them. Who would you feel should be held MORE accountable, Michael Jackson or the parents that allowed their children to go to Never Land Ranch unsupervised for sleepovers?
Michael, obviously. You can’t blame the children for being molested. Its not their fault. 1182. Have you ever been to: Manhattan?
Nope. Disney?
Nope. Paris?
Nope. Anywhere cooler?
London is way better than any of those. 1183. What 3 music videos should everyone download?
No one downloads music videos now. 1184. If someone bet you ten dollars that you couldn’t sing the whole Gummy Bears theme song, would you be able to do it and win?
Nope. 1185. Do you like Bjork?
I don’t have an opinion on her. Isn’t she the one with the swan dress? 1186. How about the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club?
I think I’ve heard like one song of theirs. 1187. What do you think of Moby?
Moby Dick? 1188. What do you think of Alien Ant Farm?
I don’t know what that is. 1189. What do you think of the Flaming Sideburns?
I don’t know about that either. 1190. Do you believe that imps, trolls, giants, dragons, unicorns, etc. were real but became extinct?
Nope. 1191. What sucks?
Everything. 1192. What do you think of these diary titles? Geologist to the Stars:
NO. The Hussy Chronicles:
? Gravy:
Ew. Napping in the Broom Closet:
Nap in your bed instead. 1193. Do you ever think about suicide?
I have at times. It still comes to my mind sometimes.  1194. Do you believe that Jesus Christ was a real person? How about Noah?
Jesus was probably real, but what he did was only metaphors.  1195. What is one luxury you refuse to live without?
Music. 1196. What is one luxury you feel you could live without?
TV. 1197. Do you feel that you are high, medium, or low maintenance in a relationship?
I don’t know. 1198. What do you think of these diarist names? N.Y.S:
NO. Collapsibleman:
? *})|({*:
Bullshit. black dove:
? 1199. Do vegetables taste better from the store or from your garden?
From the garden, of course. 1200. How long have you spent on this survey so far?
I feel like I’ve spent half my life.
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cynicalhag · 4 years ago
1. Do you like zombie movies? No, I don’t get the hype.
2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Poop smeared all over the walls. It was an experience. 
3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I take the bus all the time. If I could, I would walk or bike. But you know, my school is 45 minutes away from where I live. I hate living here, someone buy me an apartment in town. 
4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? I can’t remember. I don’t even want to remember, honestly. 
5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I’m not sure. Honestly, I don’t give a shit about relationship advice, it bores me. 
6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I have not. I guess I would do it. Why not?
7. What was your worst Halloween costume? I haven’t really dressed up for Halloween. We don’t really celebrate it. 
8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? This guy in my class has a really bad reputation, for good reasons. 
9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I went on a trip to Stockholm for the first time without my parents. 
10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? Yeah. I mean, I don’t enjoy holidays over all, cause I don’t like my extended family. They have very different political views than me. And they’re all farmers too, and my family is vegetarian/vegan. It always contains a lot of complaining on the “rabbit food” and stuff. It’s not the best. 
11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? Just plain ones. 
12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? No, thankfully. 
13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I’m not sure. I haven’t eaten anything too junky to be honest.
14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah, that was basically all I did. I think it had a lot to do with my siblings being 6 and 8 years older than me. I mostly had to play on my own. I loved animals, and a lot of it involved me being a wild animal. I was a wierd child. 
15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Bleurgh. That’s disgusting. 
16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Yes! I had a biology teacher that during sex ed told my class that, I quote; “fags have something wrong in their heads”. I can tell you, it was not fun being the closeted queer kid in that environment. This is why sex ed HAS to be improved. 
17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Yoga, cause I hate working out eitherway. Lol. 
18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? Nope. 
19. How much do you know about first aid? Not very much. 
20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? I have some cousins I haven’t met in like 11 years. I have no idea whatsoever what they are doing, or even how old they are. 
21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yeah, I meditate regularly. It helps me relax, and it also helps me sleep when I go through periods of having sleeping problems. 
22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yeah.
23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yes! I used to love them.
24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? Yesss podcasts are the shit! My favorites are “Creepypodden”, a podcast in Swedish about paranormal stuff, “P3 Dokumentär” a documentary podcast series that a Swedish radio station makes, “Flora & Frida” a podcast by two lovely Swedish women who talk about everything basically, “Ladies Who Lunch” a podcast by the youtubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes, “Allt Du Velat Veta” a podcast that teaches you about a different subject every week, it’s in Swedish too, and “Lead Singer Syndrome” a podcast that interviews different singers from bands and stuff. Wow, that was a lot. 
25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Maybe two weeks ago! They had a giant sale so the ice cream was really cheap.We bought tons and saved it in bulk. 
26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? Arctic Monkeys have been on a hiatus since 2013 when they released “AM”. I have heard rumours about them being in the studio, and I hope for all my life that they are true. And I mean, Nirvana haven’t made new music in a while, for obvious reasons. RIP Kurt. 
27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I do not. 
28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Nothing really. took an art class in school before, it’s obligatory in Sweden. I barely passed, I suck at that stuff. 
29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Basically only birds. 
30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dogs and burgers. Halloumi. Roasted vegetables. Corn. 
31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? Hmm... Not that I can think of. 
32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I hope it is like deep sleep. I don’t believe in an afterlife in the sense that you start over with another life. I just think you kind of fall away. 
33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I’m not sure. One of my cousins used to be kind of annoying when he was a lot younger. He was a really picky eater and would basically only eat sausage and pasta. It was intense. He was also kind of afraid of everything. 
34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Yeah, I’ve called police on two people before. One of them actually got in trouble for it. 
35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Not really. Both my mom and I like going to thrift stores and stuff though, so we like to do that sometimes. But that’s pretty much it. 
36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? Probably both. I can’t wait to turn 18, but in the same time I will probably freak out when I actually get there. 
37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? I have never been to a wedding, actually. 
38. Do you have any physical photo albums? My mom has a ton, from when she used to take polariods. Nowadays, she uses a digital camera. 
39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Sure. 
40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Oh man I’ve had a lot of shitty friends, but one of them definetely takes the price. We had that kind of friendship where you joke around constantly, and it was all fun. Until after a few months where I could sense a change in the over all atmosphere of our frienship. The jokes became tougher and more and more ruthless. In the last few months he was basically bullying me, giving me shit for everything I did. He made fun of my music taste, my style, my hair, my face, my personality, everything. He basically broke my confidence to a point where I tried changing the way I was for him to not pick on me. I became super depressed and I was close to taking my own life several times. People around me started noticing that he was bullying me, and when they asked me about it, I just told them it was nothing and that I was just being sensitive if I felt offended about what he told me. I remember one morning where he was picking at me, and I told him I was feeling like shit and that my mental health was doing really bad, and I actually apologized for it. I told him I was sorry for being quiet, when my mind was just spinning around the thought of not wanting to live. He told me that it wasn’t strange, that I was just being boring as usual. At that point, I understood that he didn’t give a shit about me, and I started avoiding him. Nowadays, he’s still mad at me. According to him, I betrayed him by starting to avoid him. He’s a dick, to say the least. 
41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? I’m not sure. 
42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election? Nope, I’m too young. 
43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? Uhm.. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten that many. Just knick knacks. 
44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? The only one of grandparents who are still alive is my grandma on my mom’s side. My dad doesn’t really like her that much. I don’t think he likes a lot of my mom’s side of the family at all actually. 
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