#sorry for disappearing I had a lot of personal issues going on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jj-one · 9 days

Text

𝑪𝑹𝑨𝒁𝒀, 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑷𝑰𝑫, 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 🗝️ ⋅˚₊ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

The model life has never crossed your mind but the moment Jungkook laid his eyes on you he knew you were perfect. He was willing to go great lengths to get you on board, even developing a connection with you that could ultimately lead to one of you getting hurt.

── ✧ ˚. ꒰ pairing ꒱ ˒˓ modeling scout!jungkook ˒˓ model!f!reader ˒˓ strangers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers again (it's a rollercoaster of emotions fr), jk is in his early 30's and reader is early 20's genre/tags. smut, angst, (some fluff ig), very slow burn, mentions of past trauma, reader lowkey has anger and attachment issues but for good reason, oc has toxic coping skills but is kinda going through it, jk and oc argue a lot, themes of alcohol and some drug usage, mentions of reader crying, unrequited love (both jk and oc think they don't like each other), fingering, masturbation, oral (f receiving), orgasm denial, piv, unprotected sex (noooo !!!), creampie, spitting, choking, rough sex, daddy kink tehe, infidelity words. 17.2k+

i wrote this fic almost a year ago so i rewrote a lot of parts to improve the story ! part 2 will be posted in a few days (it’s already done just need some improvements as well) <3

**old repost from my deleted blog (05/02/23)

You can tell it was going to be a long day today. Things just weren’t going your way this morning, your hair wasn’t cooperating with you, you got a giant coffee stain on your work shirt, and now your best friend cancels on you. Reading her text, you couldn’t help but let out a scoff at her lame excuse this time—

‘I’m so sorry y/n but I won’t be able to go out tonight, been getting swamped with so much work!!’

Sigh, yet again she cancels on you, it never fails. You love your best friend Sakura dearly but she can be extremely flaky. You let so much shit slide when it comes to her but if someone else dared to do the same thing you wouldn’t hesitate to cut them off in a heartbeat. Sakura has always been your day 1, she stuck by your side when you had literally no one. In elementary school the kids were vicious, they’d pick on anyone who was remotely different and you were an easy target for them since you were considered the “loner kid”. Sakura defended you when she saw a group of three girls trying to gang up on you and told them all to go kindly fuck off. After that moment, you and Sakura were conjoined by the hip— until you weren’t anymore.

You finally reply to Sakura’s text just saying it was okay and that you guys can go out another time. Now you had to figure out what you wanted to do tonight after getting off work… The original plan was to go to a nightclub with Sakura but since that idea is scrapped you think of other friends you could talk to. Texting a couple friends, you ask what they’re all up to tonight, hoping that at least one person is willing to go out with you. One of your friends, Mina, texted you almost straight away, she was down to go out so you both end up coordinating plans. You couldn’t wait for your shift to be over and to clock out of work, it was such a slow day at the store so you kept pulling your phone out to pass the time. The rustling sound of wind chimes bellow through the front entrance as you see a distant figure disappear off into the aisles. You put your phone away so that you can pay attention to the customer who came inside, waiting for any little interaction to free you from your boredom.

Resting your arm on the counter, you scan around the store to check where the customer had went. It was super dead inside the place but you couldn’t see where they might’ve gone. Looking from the corner of your eye, you see someone approach you from seemingly out of nowhere— leaving you in a state of bewilderment as you saw the man in front of you. It legitimately felt as if you were hallucinating for a second; this man was your ideal type from head to toe. His tall stature easily towered over yours, midnight black strands covered his eyes a bit, and the heavy amount of colorful ink adorning his arm was a huge turn on for you. You were practically fucking the man with your eyes and totally didn’t notice a thing he was saying to you.

“So, what do you say huh?” The man asks with an enthusiastic look, awaiting your prompt response.

You snap out of your trance and come back to earth once again. Now realizing that you have no idea what this man was asking you and feeling embarrassed that you’ll have to ask again.

“I’m sorry but I didn’t quite get you the first time,” you told him sincerely, hoping he wouldn’t be too frustrated with you.

He chuckles, “There’s no one else around, how could you not have heard me?” Clearing his throat some more before continuing, “I was asking if you’ve ever done modeling before.”

You look at the mysterious man confused, you’ve never done an ounce of modeling before so you tell him you haven’t. He looks surprised by this but doesn’t get discouraged by it, “Well, you have the perfect face for modeling, you have a unique look and it’s perfect for my new campaign shoot, would you be interested?”

You ponder with the idea in your head for a bit, could this man actually be serious right now? Honestly, you couldn’t believe someone as pretty as him would even notice you, yet and so willing to scout you to model while you’re working. You decide to ask him more about modeling and what his campaign is all about, his face lit up immediately hearing you show the slightest bit of interest.

“It’s going to be my biggest campaign yet, I work with high-end fashion brands and top designers from all over the world,” He goes on, “I run my own modeling agency so whenever I see someone with a unique look such as you, I have to say something.”

You could feel your face burning hotter from his flattering compliment, getting a slight ego boost by all this. You think about this whole modeling thing, would it really be for you? You’ve never tried it so it doesn’t hurt to at least experience it. You aren’t exactly confident that you’ll be a good model but he seems serious about his line of work and it feels like you can trust him already.

“You never answered my question yet, are you in or out?” He asks, interrupting your deep line of thought.

It was hard not to keep zoning out during the conversation, as much you wanted to take him up on his offer you were far too busy with work and already dealing with enough in your life. You had a lot on your plate at the moment, your current living situation is a bit up in the air right now since you’re struggling to pay rent. You asked your landlord to give you an extension for your half since your job has been giving you less hours lately, your money troubles have been putting a strain on your life since you got this new apartment. The man could tell you were having some reluctant thoughts on this whole thing so he did his best to sweeten the deal for you.

“Look, I know this is super random but just give it a try? You have the exact look that I need for this campaign and I’ll pay you really well,” He further explains. “Not to brag or anything but I take good care of all my models, I’d never let them struggle especially someone like you.”

That was pretty much all it took for you to consider it, telling him that you’ll think about it and you’ve never had any prior kind of experience with this, he assures you that everything will be just fine. Hearing the soft melody of wind chimes coming from the door again, you finally see a new customer walk in as they browse around. The man who was still standing in front of you now has a huge grin etched on his face as he thanks you for considering to model for him. He tells you how much you won’t regret it if you do it and that he’ll turn you into a ‘star’. You feel like he was exaggerating a bit with that last line but if he works with major international fashion brands and designers, there’s a chance your career could grow. Before the man leaves he asks you for a pack of Marlboros, puts a cigarette in his mouth and shoves everything else in the pockets of his jeans.

“Oh- my name’s Jeon Jungkook by the way,” He says as he brings his hand out towards you, you gave his hand a friendly shake.

“Y/n, nice to meet you.” As you both finally properly introduce yourselves, the new customer that came in was now heading towards the register. Before Jungkook gets ready to leave, he gives you his business card with his phone number on it. You held the thick card stock material in your hand and shoved it in your back pocket when the customer comes up to put their things on the counter.

“It was nice meeting you y/n, I hope to see you around.” Jungkook says as he walks out. You watch him from afar as he heads to his car, he leans on the side of it and lights the cigarette from his mouth. You watch as he takes long drags from it and blows out the smoke, he looked like one of those 70’s bad boy greasers that your mom would definitely warn you about.

“Excuse me miss is everything okay?” The customer asks. You zoned out yet again and feel embarrassed about looking at Jungkook for too long. Your mind switches back to reality now, you’re still just a normal convenience store worker at the moment but soon you could be something even more. You never saw yourself as being something special but the fact someone like Jungkook saw that quality in you made you question your abilities. Maybe you shouldn’t doubt yourself after all.

You were finally able to clock out of work and you felt utterly exhausted, barely getting any sleep last night from all the stress that’s been eating you up from the inside. You drive back home and head up the stairs of the old brownstone apartment building you live in. Once you get inside you check your mailbox and see a plethora of bills and notices that you have yet to acknowledge. It hit you at that moment that you were a starving 20-something year old who doesn’t have anything planned out for themselves, you never pictured yourself living like this. In order not to have a complete breakdown right at this very second, you take deep inhales as you try and calm your nerves, then your phone vibrates to alert that you got a new message. You check the notification and see it’s from your friend Mina, asking if you were still on for tonight. You reply telling her yes while finally heading inside your apartment. You knew you shouldn’t be going out right now but it’s the only thing that’ll get your mind off your problems. Your only way of coping is to numb the pain and just not think about it.

Walking into your apartment you hear loud music blaring from the corner of the hallway, rolling your eyes since you know it’s one of your roommates. You had three roommates and none of them were your friends, you found this place super last minute when trying to move out of your toxic parent’s house. You got into one of the worst altercations with your mom one night that it almost got physical, she got angry with you for coming home past 3 am and partied all the time with Sakura. You often rebelled when you were a teenager and your religious mother was not having it one bit. She would constantly degrade you and break you down until you felt like nothing, she was the reason you are what you are today. You broke off all contact with your mom and eventually your dad too since he enabled her abusive actions most of the time, your two most important people treated you as though you were a burden to them. You couldn’t shake the fact that your parents were so willing to kick you out of their home, their own daughter they raised and were supposed to “love”. Although you’re glad you were able to escape from your toxic parents without too many repercussions, you were now dealing with a new, different kind of stress— adulting.

You grab a snack from the pantry and head to your room, putting some headphones in to drown the noise of your roommates annoyingly loud music. You text your friend Mina to let her know that you’ll be getting ready soon and that you’ll pick her up around 10. Mina texts you that she found somewhere else to go to instead of clubbing tonight, telling you all about this ‘exclusive party’ that’s happening, you had to be on their VIP list in order to get in and Mina knew someone who was on the list. She said as long as you tell the bouncer a name they know, they’re more than likely to let you in. You weren’t too keen on this idea since it seemed a bit risky to you but Mina really wanted to go to this event. You finally oblige to her wishes and tell her you’ll be ready to come pick her up soon once you get dressed. Since you weren’t going clubbing anymore you needed to actually put some thought into your outfit for this party, you had no idea what to expect but you put on one of your most expensive dresses and pair of heels, doing a little twirl in the mirror as you check yourself out. You decided not to do too much so you opted for a natural makeup look, you always hated being the center of attention, especially when you’re around people you barely know.

Once you’re fully satisfied with your look, you grab your clutch and head out the door. You got in your car and head over to Mina’s place, as you’re driving you replay the encounter with Jungkook from earlier. It was hard to fathom all at once, still having difficulty believing someone like him would want to even scout you. You never inherently saw yourself as being “model material”, yet here you are getting asked at your normal day job to become one. It felt surreal and you weren’t sure what to think of everything. You contemplated texting Jungkook soon as you got home but what would you even say? His business card that he gave you still resided in the back pocket of your jeans when you threw them on the floor. You think to yourself that you’ll text him tomorrow, you just really needed some time to evaluate and clearly think it over.

You arrive at Mina’s and text her you’re outside waiting for her, she almost instantly comes out and see her wearing the cutest outfit. You complimented her skirt when she got into the car and she thanked you with a toothy smile. Mina gives you the address of the party and puts it in your GPS since you suck with being given directions. You began driving and turn on some music to hype yourselves up before arriving. Mina raves about how exciting this will be since she’s heard there’s going to be several high profile people attending this party.

“I heard there’s gonna be a CEO there, a couple fashion designers, and dozens of hot models will be there!” She exclaims like a boy crazy teen. You weren’t too thrilled on meeting loads of people tonight, you were just hoping that you can get drunk and just forget about all your problems.

“That’s cool I guess,” you say nonchalantly. Although you would like for a guy to swoop in and take all your worries away in a drop of a hat, you knew you probably wouldn’t get that lucky tonight.

As you turn the corner and head down the street where the party’s at, you notice how enormous all of the houses were. Almost every single one of the houses looked like celebrity mansions; one of them even had a large in-ground pool with not one, not two, but three damn water slides. You felt severely out of place even driving through this neck of the woods, turning up slightly into a large driveway with a bunch of other vehicles parked. You stop the car and examine the home in front of you, it could’ve been mistaken as a Victorian castle. In awe of it’s gothic architecture, pale brick walls, and pointed arches; it was venerable yet exudes such extravagance. You felt as though you’d just shifted to some other alternate universe.

Mina takes your hand in hers as she leads the way inside, you were nervous and still unsure if you’d be able to get in or not. Mina walks up to the bouncer in front of the door confidently, he was wearing sunglasses and a black tuxedo, looking like one of those stereotypical bouncer douchebags.

“Name?” The bouncer asks patronizingly, something in your gut can already tell this guy was going to be a major asshole.

“My name’s Mina, I’m not on the list but I’m close friends with Kai and he’s already in there waiting for me!” She explains as she looks around to get a peek who’s inside.

“Alright, you’re free to go.” The bouncer says, opening the door for entry inside. You couldn’t believe it actually worked. Mina walks in front of you and steps inside, she turns around to face you but as you step towards the door the bouncer blocks you from taking any further step.

“Sorry I’m only letting her in.”

You were beyond pissed now, not only were you the one that drove all the way here but you were the one that didn’t even want to come to this dumb party! You scoff as you look in his direction, “Why am I not allowed in? I’m with her!” You exclaim, trying to push past him but he grabs your arm in the process.

“Do you know anyone?” He was speaking to you in the utmost condescending way, you were about to give this jerk a real piece of your mind.

“Listen asshole, how about you shove that ugly smirk off your face before I give you a reason to be angry? This party looks fucking whack anyway,” you express in sheer disgust, “also, get your filthy hands off of me!” You swat his hand away from your arm as you take a step back from him.

Mina was watching this whole encounter but had no idea what to do or say, at this point you didn’t even care about being here anymore. Mina tries one more time to plead with the bouncer but he wasn’t having it, you were just so frustrated that you decide to head back home. Mina shouts after you to come back but you refuse to listen, that douche made up his mind and he wasn’t changing it for anyone. As you walk down the huge driveway, your car was all the way down towards the end and you see another car pull up. You notice that car looked awfully familiar as it wasn’t a car you saw everyday— an Audi convertible sporting a dark blue color. Looking to see who gets out of the car, it was none other than the man whom you met from earlier; Jungkook.

You were a little shocked to see him here but at the same time this was definitely somewhere he would be. You watched him the entire time— he was wearing an all black outfit with studded boots and a leather jacket, always looking so badass without even trying. You could drool all day just looking at his fine self. He mystified you in so many ways, you knew nothing of this guy but he looked influential. He definitely looked like someone you’d want to be connected with in your life, his aura oozed wealth and prestige. As you watch Jungkook from the other side of the driveway, you see another figure running towards you.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Was all you heard, your friend Mina kept shouting as she came towards you sprinting, “oh thank God you didn’t leave yet.” She says coming up to you with glossy eyes.

“I talked to my friend Kai and he said they’ll let you in now, the bouncer was just being a jerk for no reason I’m sorry about that,” she looks at you with pleading eyes for you to change your mind but it’s already been made up. This whole day has been nothing but shit for you and you were highly done with everything right now.

“Thanks Mina, but I really don’t care anymore.” You bluntly reply, it’s obvious that Mina’s friend was only letting you in out of pity and he just wanted to make her happy, this was never about you to begin with.

“Please y/n, I don’t want to be here without you,” she pouts while holding onto your hand, as much as she tries to reassure you that everything will be okay you know that’s it not.

“I just really need to get out of here Mina, I’m sorry…” you attempt to pull away from her. As much as you didn’t want to go back home, you also didn’t want to be somewhere you weren’t welcomed.

“No way, is that you y/n?” You hear a man’s voice come from behind you, you knew that voice all too well. You turn around to see Jungkook now walking towards you and Mina. You felt frozen in place as you were now face to face with him again, you still couldn’t get over how good he looked.

“Oh hi again Jungkook..” you felt a little awkward right now since Mina had no idea who this was, she assumed you didn’t know anyone that would be here.

“You girls heading inside? I was just about to go in when I saw you, I wasn’t planning to be here but thought I’d stop by since a few of my colleagues texted me the address.”

“Actually we were just about to leave, that bouncer is a complete asswipe!” You express with anger, crossing your arms as you recount that shitty ordeal.

Jungkook looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy, “who Stanley? Oh he’s no one! If he tries giving you a hard time just let me talk to him.”

The fact that he called him by his name was enough for you to assume that he might actually have more authority in this situation. You huff and finally agree on going back in there, you swear if that guy says one more thing to you you’re going to end up in jail tonight.

“Don’t worry y/n, you’re in good hands now,” Jungkook brings his hand to the small of your back, your dress was backless and he came in contact with your bare skin. His minor touch sent the slightest chills down your spine as he rubs your back in an affable manner. You felt more at ease with Jungkook being here for some reason even though you just met him several hours ago. As the three of you walk up to the house, you see the bouncer again with the same smug look on his face. Not going to lie you were kind of triggered from what just happened and you were in a pretty fragile state, anything could set you off at the point. Jungkook speaks first and talks to the bouncer, Stanley. He makes a small joke with him and he chuckles a bit, this was the first time you’ve ever seen that guy show any real emotion. He lets Jungkook inside with zero hesitation and allows Mina to step in but once you try and enter he puts his arm in front again. You were about to lose your fucking mind.

“Excuse me Miss, I already talked to you before, I’m not letting you in,” he says, starting to get louder so the partygoers can hear him now. You knew he was doing this to try and embarrass you and you’ve had enough. Just as you were about to tell this guy off for the umpteenth time, Jungkook goes up to him.

“She knows me, she’s one of my models,” he tells Stanley, your eyes grew wide when he said that. You haven’t even told him if you were going to do it yet here is answering the question for you.

“Oh.. my apologies sir,” the bouncer looked visibly nervous by Jungkook now, he knew he just fucked up big time.

“Yeah, next time don’t be such a prick to my models, you’re supposed to treat them all with dignity and respect. I’ll have to tell Don about this, unacceptable.” Jungkook walks past him and he looks terrified. You laugh at how the roles switched now and you flip the bouncer off as you finally make it inside. The living room was gigantic, all of the furniture was over the top and gaudy looking, the couch was a solid gold color and you wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually made of real gold. You never stepped foot in a place like this, seeing everyone all dressed up, a broad mix of people that looked like they came from all different walks of life. You were so intrigued by the way everyone interacted, how they looked so elegant— so expensive.

“Sooo, you weren’t going to tell me you knew someone here y/n? You’re also a model now, what the hell? Tell me what’s going on!” Mina starts prying you with a million questions that you barely had any of the answers to.

“I- uh- actually it’s not really what you think,” you try nervously explaining, “it’s a long story, actually not really but… yeah.” God, you suck at trying to express yourself.

“Look if you wanna model that’s fine, I’ll support you 100% but that guy… are you seeing him? He was fucking gorgeous!” Her interest piques as she mentions Jungkook, of course she’d want to know more on that.

“No! I literally just met him today, it’s not like that at all-“ you attempt to say but your words are prematurely cut off.

“Today?! When’d you have time to meet a sexy man like that? Does he have any brothers? Asking for a friend..”

“He came into my job and asked me if I wanted to model for his agency...” as you kept talking about the whole modeling thing with Mina you can’t help but think about your best friend Sakura. She should’ve been the first person you told about this, she would be more than excited and happy to hear all this right now. You couldn’t wait to update her on everything that’s happened and tomorrow was right around the corner. Jungkook comes back to you and hands you a shot glass with brown liquor.

“I don’t really like dark liquor…” you say to him as you hand the glass back to him, unwilling to drink it.

He looked deeply offended by your action. “This is not just your average run-of-the-mill alcohol love, this is vintage 2004 Veuve Clicquot imported directly from France, just try it.”

You take the glass back from him and took a swig. The taste was quite delicate, it was light, airy, and went straight through you like water. You swing your head back as you drank the rest and wiped the excess liquid from the side of your mouth, admitting to him that you thought it was pretty good— he tells you he already knows but wanted you to see it for yourself. You took a couple more shots of the same liquor and it didn’t take much for you to start already feeling a little tipsy. You were now sitting on the balcony with Jungkook, your friend Mina was with Kai and she was probably going to end up leaving with him tonight. You look down from the balcony, watching cars pass by as you feel your body temperature grow hotter from all the alcohol you consumed. Turning over to look at Jungkook now, he’s seated across from you, placing a cigarette between his lips, and hovering his hand over it to block the subtle wind as he lights the end.

“You know smoking is bad for your health, right?” You giggle to yourself as you tease him, knowing he’s probably heard that a million times but you wanted to say it anyway.

“Ever heard of minding your own business?” He says after he exhales. A cloud of smoke starts to linger towards you now and you tried to stifle a cough but ultimately failed due to the lethargic odor.

“I could die from secondhand smoke y’know!” You yell, dramatically wafting it away. You’ve always hated cigarettes, both of your parents smoked and it was starting to give you flashbacks from when they’d literally smoke around you when you were a child.

“It’s not like there’s any small kids around,” he shrugs his shoulders and takes another drag from it, “you’ll be fine!”

You roll your eyes, you didn’t feel like ranting about your messed up home life when you were younger so you let it go. For some reason you don’t feel turned off by Jungkook smoking, usually that would be a huge dealbreaker for you. You change the subject with something more lighthearted, “so.. tell me more about your modeling agency.”

Jungkook finishes his cigarette, crushes it and flicks it off the railing of the balcony, “well, in a nutshell I basically scout and manage all my models, set up all their gigs, put everyone on my payroll, and always have to plan everything ahead… If things don’t go my way I get real mad.”

You knew he was somewhat a notable guy but you didn’t know he did all of this. You were impressed by the way he spoke about his line of work, how much time and effort he puts into all of it, you knew you were in good hands if you do end up working for him. Jungkook further explains the ins and outs of modeling, all the hardships he’s had to face in order to make a name for himself.

“It’s a cutthroat industry, you either take risks and show them what you’re made of or sit back in the sidelines and pray for a chance,” he says, “I’m not one of those people who waits around for what they want.”

You can tell he practices everything he preaches, he was so persistent when you weren’t sure of modeling but he made you feel more at ease about the idea, he was the perfect businessman. Whatever Jungkook wants, Jungkook gets.

As you continue talking more with him through the night, he starts asking you more personal questions. He asked if you go to school or have other hobbies you like. You tell him that you were a college drop out, you couldn’t afford to pay the tuition fees and your parents were making your life a living hell. Deciding to drink a bit more later on, you soon became so intoxicated that you were willing to overshare entirely too much with him. You were in such a fragile state that you ended up sobbing in Jungkook’s arms due to all the memories of your shitty life coming back to you, living in a real life nightmare. Jungkook held you in his embrace as you let the water works continue, you were such a mess right now but Jungkook was here to listen to your problems without you feeling any guilt about it. He pat your back and gave you a couple “there, there, it’s okay” and “it’ll be alright, just calm down” before you finally stopped yourself from sobbing so much. Your breath hitched as you feel your chest weigh heavy from all the crying you just did, you were drunk, sad, and now a little hungry for some reason..?

You bring your head up from the comfort of Jungkook’s chest and wipe your tears away quickly, “s-sorry about that, I just really needed a shoulder to cry on today…”

“It’s alright y/n, I’m here for you to make sure you’re okay,” he brushes some hair out of your face so he can look at you better, “you’re too pretty to be crying like this, a woman as beautiful as you should never have to suffer in life.”

You shook your head, “I must not be beautiful then, if I was then I wouldn’t be feeling so broken right now…”

“That’s not true, even the most gorgeous souls go through many tribulations in life, it’s what we do after those moments that are most viable. Even when you’re at your lowest, it’s those intense highs that make life worth living all over again.” Jungkook always spoke wisely, you know he’s definitely been through some shit to be able to give such good, eye-opening advice.

“You’re really wise Jungkook,” you say to him, “I aspire to be like you when I grow up.”

“Oh jeez don’t say that, you’re gonna make me feel old..”

That’s when you realize you never quite knew his age, you never thought to ask but it does seem pretty important to know.

“How old are you by the way?” You bluntly ask, you probably offended him by asking like that outright but you didn’t really care.

“Take a guess..?” He decides to play the long game and chose not to answer right away.

You hate when guys do this to you because you never know what to say incase they get salty over your answer.

“25?” Jungkook bursts out laughing at that answer, he looks at you as if you had three heads attached to your body.

“Wow, really? I’m flattered you think that, I haven’t been 25 in almost a decade,” he says with a big grin plastered on his face. You probably made his day by making that comment. You were surprised to hear him say that though, a decade? Christ, this man could possibly be old enough to be your father.

“So you’re like what, 33 or 34?” You ask.

“I’m 32,” he answers casually, “don’t be intimidated by my age love, I’ve been with many girls your age already.”

You playfully hit his arm and tell him how a comment like that was inappropriate. “You shouldn’t be talking to one of your future models that way!” Expressing in a joking manner.

He chuckles at you and sways his hand, “oh please, you’d be surprised how many girls ask to be one of my models, I’ve gotten hundreds of DM’s from all over.”

You were puzzled by how he has tons of willing models wanting to be a part of his agency yet here is hanging out with a random girl who works at a convenience store and barely paying their bills on time.

“Why do you want me then?” You blurt out. Instantly regretting the way you worded that, practically setting yourself up for the worst response.

“Huh? What do you mean?” He raises an eyebrow, “I just want you to be one of my models and nothing more, you’re a very cute girl y/n but I have other priorities to worry about.”

You felt like someone punched you in the gut, what he said actually offended you to some degree. You know you shouldn’t be upset that this man who is clearly much older than you and has way more on his plate wouldn’t give you the time of day. You rephrase yourself, “What I meant to say was why you were so desperate for me to sign with your agency in the first place,” you continue your little speech “and furthermore, I wasn’t asking for you to try and get with me I’m not one of those dumb, easy girls that you can just get into bed with!” You know you probably upset him by what you were saying but quite frankly you don’t give a flying fuck. Not even less than an hour ago were you just crying into this man’s arms and now he’s acting like somewhat of a jerk to you. What happened to what he said earlier about not making beautiful women suffer? Guess that was all a lie too.

You were so done with him at this point you get up to leave from the balcony but your limbs went pliant and your face grew flushed from all the alcohol. You try to drunkenly stumble your way from him but Jungkook held your arms in his grasp tightly.

“You’re way too drunk to be walking alone right now, those guys will tear you to shreds in there,” he warns, bringing you back down to the chair but you swat him away and tell him to stop trying to be ‘nice’ to you.

“You can cut the act now Jungkook. You’re so fucking fake, pretending to care when you never did the whole time, you’re just like everyone else!” You shout while slurring your words a bit, getting up again to leave but he grabs you yet again.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” You nudge your arm away from him and try getting him off you but it isn’t working much. Jungkook was much stronger than you physically, all he had to do was pin your arms down so you couldn’t go anywhere. Since you were in a very much messy, drunken state you weren’t thinking rationally, all you wanted to do was get away from him. You were angry at the whole world right now and Jungkook was the person you wanted to take it all out on.

“Stop trying to fight with me y/n, it’s not going to work,” he says while still having your arms pinned to your sides, “I’ve dealt with bratty girls like you before, this is nothing to me.”

“You’re nothing,” you rudely spat back at him, “I never want to see you again.”

He deeply sighs, “I think you’re just very drunk right now and you’re just mad I told you straight up how I felt.”

You knew he was right but you were selfish, stubborn, and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. You’re surprised he’s even tolerating you for this long, he must not be fully done with your bratty attitude.

“I’m going home!” Was all you said, attempting to wriggle your way out of Jungkook’s tight hold but he wasn’t letting up, “what the fuck let me go already!” You were starting to grow increasingly impatient with him.

“No,” he simply says.

“No? What do you mean no? Let me fucking go you idiot!” You weren’t having any of his shenanigans, you wanted him to release you right this instant.

“Do you see yourself right now? If I let you out into the world you’ll end up setting the entire earth ablaze,” he voices with genuine worry, “I’m going to drive you home and you’re going to leave your car here, I’ll bring it to you in the morning so you’ll have it for work.”

“I thought I told you I never wanted to see your face again,” you hiss, “I mean it too.”

He rolls his eyes at your non-intimidating threat, “I’ve heard that one before many times sweetheart, they always come back in the end I promise.”

You were losing this battle by a landslide, every insult you made towards him he had a rebuttal for it, he wasn’t the type to let you just sit there and say whatever about him. You huff as you come to terms with the idea of Jungkook taking you home. You wanted so desperately to tell him off, you wanted to walk away with your pride but he would just come back ten times harder. Jungkook leads the way for you both and you hold onto his arm, you saw some people over in the corner doing lines of coke and you gasped.

“That’s typical everyday stuff in the modeling industry, get used to it babe.” He says as he walks past them, not even batting an eye. The fact he still thinks you’re going to model for him was absurd to you, you never told him a yes or no and he’s just already speaking it into existence. As you walk out and head to his car you feel the cool breeze of the night air brush against your skin, looking up as you’re still holding onto him, his eyes hung low and he looked so tired right now. You wonder what’s on his mind at the moment.

Jungkook opens his car door for you and you get inside, plopping down on the leather seat and passing out almost instantly. Jungkook stares at you for a while to make sure you were okay and still breathing, it looked as if you had dropped dead as soon as you got in. He could tell that you were just very drunk and he proceeds to drive you home while you’re asleep in the passenger side, checking up on you from time to time. You don’t remember anything that happened after you got into his car but he made sure you got home safely and was able to figure out which key was for your apartment door. He left without saying a word and just drove off into the night.

When you woke up you were so confused to find yourself tucked in bed, looking around to see if anyone else was in your room but it was vacant. You still had your dress on from last night and the hair clips you wore has now been scattered all over the bed. You check your phone to see if you had any missed texts or calls and you had a few from Sakura and Mina. Sakura texted you asking if everything was okay and if you ended up doing anything last night while Mina asked if you hooked up with the hot guy from yesterday. You answer them both as you check the time. It was 10:30 am, you were an hour and thirty minutes late for work…

You instantly jump up from your bed, brush your teeth, change into your work clothes, and get in your car. You couldn’t believe Jungkook actually remembered to bring you your car in the morning and he never told you. You were just happy you had your car, practically speeding to get to work. When you finally get to work you head inside to see a ton of customers, looking to see who was at the register, it was your manager. You knew you were about to be in deep shit for being late. Once you get yourself together in the bathroom to prepare yourself for potentially getting fired, you head over to the register.

“Where were you this morning y/n?” Your manager asks harshly.

“I had to take care of some family stuff I’m so sorry I should’ve-“

“Well communicate that with me next time! I’ve had enough of your lazy, good for nothing ass and you’re one more no-call-no-show away from getting let go!” You could tell that your manager was getting fed up with your shit. Deep down though, you didn’t really care because at the end of day it’s just a convenience store. This was not your dream job, this was nothing you wanted, you knew you deserved more in life than this mind decaying job.

“You know what? Fuck you, I’m done.” You say to your manager, storming off with the little bit of dignity you had left.

You were so over people telling you what to do, you wanted to do something for yourself for a change. Your manager tried pleading with you to change your mind but you were settled, you were done tolerating everything. Grabbing all your things and heading back home, you blasted your favorite music and just let the the road do the talking. You felt so powerful by what you just did, you don’t care if that was the only job you had because now you have a new option. You were still thinking about doing modeling and the business card was still sitting in your back pocket. You arrive back home and as you walk up the steps you see a note on your door, it was an eviction notice— addressed directly to you. The note read that if you didn’t pay your past three months worth of rent you’ll be evicted by the end of the month. You wanted to fall to your knees and sob. Just as you thought you were finally doing something good for yourself, the universe brings something else to make it even worse. You didn’t know what to do in this moment but call your best friend Sakura, you couldn’t stop crying, barely able to get a coherent sentence out.

“They’re trying to get rid of me!” You exclaim to her, “they want me homeless and out on the street, this should be illegal Kura!”

“I mean.. you haven’t been the best at paying your rent on time y/n, I think it’s time for you to take some accountability here..”

Your ears couldn’t process what you were hearing, feeling utterly dumbfounded by her comment. “Accountability? What do you know about that? You’re the least accountable person I know!”

She scoffs, “actually, that’s you y/n.”

You went quiet for a second, of all people right now talking about taking “accountability” you couldn’t believe it was her saying it. All the times you’d ask to hang out and she’d give you those lame excuses time after time, you never pressed the issue yet here she is going on and on about accountability and taking responsibility for your actions.

“You’re such a hypocrite Sakura, I feel stupid that I even bothered reaching out to you, you are absolutely no help!” You hang up on her before she could speak and go inside your apartment. You walk in and see two out of three of your roommates sitting at the dining table talking, you see them glance over at you and you wanted to ask them what they were staring at but you’ve reached your limit with confronting people. The best way to deal with anything has always been pushing it away or yelling/arguing for you, it’s how you’ve been raised to handle your emotions.

You let out a sigh as you sat on your bed, there were a million things racing through your mind right now but you had no clue how to organize it all. You wanted to resort to just throwing everything everywhere but that would only cause even more distress to you once your fit of rage is over. You look down at your floor and see those pants you wore yesterday from work and pick them up, looking in your back pockets to find the little 3.5” x 2.0” card in the right one. As you stared at Jungkook’s number on the card you skim the tiny words to see if you can find more info, that’s when you find an address on the back of the card. You weren’t sure who’s address it was but you assumed it was probably the building to his modeling agency. You contemplate back and forth in your mind if this is really something worth doing. You really didn’t have any other options, you were now jobless, completely broke, and about to be evicted by the end of the month. You knew it was now or never and you didn’t have much left to lose.

You drive to the address that was on the business card, you had no idea where you were going but you knew you were probably in the right direction when you came to a gated community. You stopped at the gate and got out the car, you weren’t sure how you were going to get in and but you were going to find a way. You look around to see if anyone was coming and you don’t see anybody, you thought of maybe climbing the gate but the top was pretty sharp and pointy so you knew that probably wasn’t the best idea. You stand around for a bit, puzzled on what your next move should be considering you never had a plan to begin with. You hear another car come up behind you towards the gate, stopping as they see you standing their way.

“Hey quit blocking the gate, I need to be let in!” The person shouts out from their car window, that’s when you came with the perfect plan. You head back to your car as normal and let the person behind you go first, once they entered the code to let them through the gate you quickly followed after. You were finally in, now all you had to do was find Jungkook. You look for the number ‘3435’ on any door you could find, finally stumbling upon the right one. The place was a residential building and didn’t look like it could be a studio but you give it a shot anyway. You ring the doorbell and wait patiently for someone to answer, after a minute passes you start to grow weary of the place. You were getting desperate now, you needed to know if Jungkook was in there. You look through the large windows trying to make out what you see but you don’t see anyone inside. You knock on the window to see if anyone would hear it, absolutely nothing. You weren’t going to give up just yet though.

You start pounding on the door, knocking ferociously as you repeatedly shout Jungkook’s name, being a total nuisance at this point. You keep pounding heavily onto the door, pleading for someone to answer, you don’t know how long you’ve been here for but it feels like forever. You were about to turn and leave but then you hear a lock click from the inside. You see who opens the door and it was none other than Jungkook. You immediately run to him and try to hug him but he takes a step back.

“Y/n… what are you doing here?” He says in almost an unnerving way. You don’t know what’s going on with him but he looked really on edge for some reason.

“I’ll do it,” you tell him “I’ll model for you.”

“I mean I’m glad to hear that but did you really have to come to my home to tell me that? How’d you even get in here?!”

“Don’t worry about, I’m now unemployed so I have all the free time to do whatever you want with me now!” You shrug off the fact that you pretty much showed up to his house unannounced, not seeing anything wrong with your odd behavior.

Jungkook smirks at that, “aw, you quit for me? That’s dedication right there.”

“I didn’t quit for you, I quit for myself.” You were quick to clarify.

“Well good, that fucking shack didn’t deserve you anyway.” You laughed at his comment, you wonder if he’s ever had to work a normal 9-5 job in his life.

“So this is where you do your business at? In the comfort of your home?” You ask him.

“No, the corporate building is at a different location and I also have 2 other studios elsewhere.”

You didn’t know he was that well off that he was able to have so many different locations of work, you were amazed at all of his achievements. You continue asking more about his job but he doesn’t seem very interested in talking about it right now. He keeps looking away at you almost as if he’s expecting something.

“Look y/n, now really isn’t a good time to be talking, I’m quite busy.” Jungkook admits while looking around at everything but you.

“Oh really? I was hoping we could talk a bit more…” you frown, looking at the ground by his dismissive attitude.

“I thought you never wanted to see my face again y/n.”

That’s when it hit you, the memories from last night came flooding back to you. Going from sobbing in Jungkook’s arms to cursing him out and belittling him all in one night. As much as you wished you had no recollection of it all, you did. You knew how immature you acted out and you needed to save face quickly.

“Look, I’m sorry Jungkook, I was drunk and didn’t mean to hurt you-“

“You didn’t hurt me at all, you were only hurting yourself by acting like a complete fool.”

You wanted to retaliate back at him but you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were the one in the wrong but admitting it was one thing.

“Can we just pretend like that never happened?” You try bargaining with him in a hopeful tone, “just let bygones be bygones.”

“Sure, I guess.” He shrugs, not really putting much energy into the conversation as you are.

“Why are you acting like this?” You start to pout and begin whining like the brat you are.

“Oh for the love God y/n, can’t you see how you act?” He breaks out of his stoic character momentarily, “you’re too hot and cold for me, it drives me insane.”

“I drive you insane?” You playfully point out his choice of words, you are the most unserious, insufferable person ever.

“Not like that…”

You were yet again offended by his little comment. Every time you think Jungkook might be into you he says something to immediately reverse it. You know he’s much older than you and he’s dealt with younger girls like you, all you girls do is give him headaches. You don’t say anything and just tell him that you’re leaving. He asks where you’re going since you don’t have a job anymore and you said were going home. Jungkook watches as you walk away and sighs heavily, closing the door once you were let out of his sight.

Your first modeling gig was today. Jungkook was thrilled to bring you on board with his team, everyone welcomed you with open arms and seemed very nice so far. Jungkook texted you the details of where the shoot will be and what to do once you got there. He took his job very serious and became a completely different person, making sure everything was in order, if it wasn’t— there’d surely be hell to pay.

“Where the hell is Yoon? She should’ve been here hours ago!” Jungkook shouts frustratedly, he was helping the photographer set up for the shoot and you were sitting in a folding chair getting your makeup done. It felt weird having someone else do your makeup and dress you up for you. You felt like a human doll, just there to sit still, look pretty, and nothing more. Your makeup artist was super sweet and kept asking you questions here and there, you’d chat with them while looking over at Jungkook from the corner of your eye. He instructs the staff to arrange the props on the set, fully immersed in his work.

“Yoon’s here boss!” One of the staff calls out to Jungkook, you can see a weight visibly lift from his shoulders as he takes a breath of relief.

“Oh thank God, I can’t believe she’d do this to me!” He leaves the studio for a second to go talk to one of his models.

You were finally done with your makeup and hair but now it was time for them to style you. You weren’t sure what they’d be putting you in since you don’t know much about designer brands. The stylist comes up to you and introduces himself, “Hi, you must be y/n, I’m Yeonjun your personal stylist!” He takes his hand out for you to shake and you grab it.

“Nice to meet you Yeonjun!” You examine his outfit and he looked so expensive from head to toe. The plaid trench coat he was wearing looked like it costs more than your lifetime, you were dealing with someone who obviously knew what they were doing.

“Let’s see what’ll look best on you,” Yeonjun rummages through the rack of clothes as he looks for the best styles, he picks out a dress that you would never see yourself wearing in real life but it was gorgeous. The dress was a light shade of pink, had lace-up corset detailing, a high-low silhouette, and was adorned with lace. You were completely in love with the dress and couldn’t take your eyes off it.

“I assume you really like this one, huh?” Yeonjun says looking at you staring at the garment.

“It’s stunning..” was all you were able to say, you don’t see things like this on the regular so you feel the fabric against your hands. You couldn’t wait to try it on and see how you looked. Yeonjun hands you the dress, a pair of lace stockings to match, and the prettiest nude kitten heels. Once you had the whole look on you stared at yourself in the mirror, you looked and felt like a beautiful princess. You almost didn’t recognize yourself for a second, you looked like an ethereal fairy on her way to a pixie meet-up.

“I love this look on you!” Yeonjun squeals with excitement, he fixes your dress a bit since it was slightly crooked and he’s a perfectionist.

You smile at him, “thank you Yeonjun, you’re the reason I look so pretty though!”

He blushes at your comment and thanks you. You were already making a friend with your new job and it felt nice meeting people that actually wanted to do something with their lives. You walk back to the set from the dressing room and see Jungkook directing one of the models for a shoot while the photographer took photos. He was just about finishing up as you walked in, he looks up and sees you walking to the set. His eyes did a double take when he looked at you, he knew you’d be a gorgeous model but seeing it right now was different for him. You were absolutely stunning in the look Yeonjun put you in and you felt super confident.

“Wow, you look beautiful y/n!” Jungkook says with the biggest smile on his face, you know he’s only being friendly but you wished he meant it in a flirty kind of way.

“Thanks Jungkook,” you timidly reply as you watch the other models get their pictures taken.

“Are you nervous?” He asks.

“A little bit, but Yeonjun was really sweet and assured me I’ll do just fine.”

He nods, “Good, Yeonjun is a great stylist, I’ve been working with him for years!”

It was now your turn to get your photos taken and you were excited yet anxious about how it’ll turn out. You stand in front of the backdrop and Jungkook begins instructing you on what to do, “move your arm like this y/n” “turn towards me” “good job!” and “pose like this” was all you kept hearing from him and the photographer. The camera flashing in your face repeatedly was giving you a headache but you bear through it. You did all kinds of poses and held the props, you had to do something called “smizing” which was basically smiling with your eyes. Jungkook was giving you modeling 101 lessons all while you were getting your photos taken.

You were having a lot of fun with the shoot, it was getting more playful towards the end and you got to jump around and play a bit on the set. Jungkook was loving your natural energy with the camera and you were easing up to it quickly, he soon didn’t even need to tell you how to pose anymore.

“Wow she’s really good,” the photographer says to Jungkook, “she’s a natural!”

“I know,” Jungkook agrees instantly “that’s why I chose her.”

You continue taking photos and Jungkook watches you in awe, as reluctant as you were about modeling you sure did a magnificent job at it.

“Okay, I think we’re good!” The photographer says, now setting the camera aside. You step away from the set and the staff goes to clean up immediately. You get your water bottle from the counter and take a swig, you didn’t realize you broke a little bit of a sweat, who knew modeling could be so hard.

“You did so well y/n, I’m very impressed by how easily you’re meshing into this industry,” Jungkook says as he comes up to you, “maybe modeling is your calling!”

“Thanks Jungkook, I really appreciate your kind words.” You faintly smile at him.

“I have to go meet some clientele in a bit but I was wondering if you’d want to go out for a drink later? Celebrate your first photoshoot?” He asks while leaning his arm on the counter, his face was so uncomfortably close to yours that he may as well just kiss you already. You wondered what it would be like to kiss Jungkook, he had really pretty lips that just looked so kissable.

“Uh y/n, you there?” He waves a hand in your face, you went full zone-out mode again.

“Shit, sorry. Yeah I’m down!” You say, snapping out of your little trance, you know he’s only inviting you in a colleague kind of way but you’re holding onto the idea of maybe it leading to something more. You never really gave much thought into being with an older guy, you always saw most of them as creepy and weird or not your type. Jungkook was the first older guy to really grab your attention though, you gravitated towards him and you wanted to be near him. You wanted him to see you the way he first did, not the girl that was crying in his arms at 2 am while ending up passing out in his car. All you have to do is get him alone and talk for a bit, which was your plan when you see him tonight.

The bills keep piling up, you don’t know what to do anymore. It’ll be 25 days until you get officially evicted and that three months rent is still nowhere to be seen. You were getting so stressed out that you drank 2 large glasses of wine and watched a sad kdrama for a bit. Sulking in your sorrows was the only way you could manage, you seemingly had no other choice. You were lying in your bed when you received a text from Jungkook asking if you were ready, you make a dash for your closet as you rush to find something to wear. You’ve been drinking and sitting around all day you completely forgot you were supposed to be getting drinks with Jungkook tonight. You scramble to put on a decent outfit and slip on your platform heels before you ran outside to go meet Jungkook who was parked outside your house.

“So sorry to keep you waiting!” You apologize while still running to the door, Jungkook opens the door for you and you thank him.

“I understand,” he says, “we’ve all been fashionably late from time to time.”

The car ride to the bar was pretty quick, it only took 6 minutes to get there but you’ve never seen this place before, yet even heard of it. The inside wasn’t too busy, there were definitely people there but it wasn’t lively like a Friday or Saturday night would be. You sit on one of the bar stools at the bar and Jungkook sits next to you.

“What do you usually like to drink?” He asks.

“I just really love wine,” you tell him, “any kind of wine is fine.”

“Wine is fine indeed,” Jungkook repeats after you, “I’ll get you some then!”

“You don’t have to buy it for me!” You try to maintain your independent façade, you were completely bluffing though as you barely had $20 to your name currently.

He only chuckles at you, “It’s okay, I don’t think you’d even be able to afford anything in here if I’m being honest.”

That crushed you a little bit but you know it’s the truth. You haven’t told Jungkook about your whole eviction situation but the fact you now don’t have a job and practically came back to him begging for one says it all. The bartender brings the wine and Jungkook hands you a glass. You take it instantly and start chugging it, you wanted nothing more than to be drunk off your ass.

“Woah y/n, slow down” he says to you cautiously, “you don’t need to be drinking like that.”

“What are you my father?” You sneer at his judgement, you don’t even know why you’d say something like that because now you’re thinking about your family issues again. This was about to become a crying in Jungkook’s arms 2.0…

“No, I wouldn’t want to be your father, just saying.”

That definitely rubbed you the wrong way. “So now you’re saying I’m a burden to my family?!” You were livid now, you wanted to take Jungkook’s drink and throw it right in his face. How dare he something like that? He has no idea what you’ve gone through.

“I didn’t mean it like that y/n, I was just saying-“

“No you’ve definitely already said enough,” you cut him off before getting up to leave, “I’m done here!”

You feel a tug to your arm, “Where the hell are you going y/n?”

“Home!”

“With what vehicle?” He asks.

“I’ll walk, I really don’t give a fuck anymore.” You walk out of the bar and don’t look back, you can hear Jungkook calling your name after you but you pretend like you don’t hear it.

“I know you can hear me calling after you y/n!”

You keep walking, you pay no mind to him as you attempt to walk down the street. You feel someone come up from behind you and pull you back.

“Let me go!” You shout as you kick your feet trying to get Jungkook off of you, he does what he did last time and pins your arms to your sides, “I said let me fucking go!”

“I’m not letting you go y/n, you’re not leaving my sight tonight.”

“I’m a grown ass woman, I can handle myself!” You wiggle around with Jungkook still having a tight grip on you.

He sighs, “I know you’re a grown woman, but right now you are not acting like one.”

“I can act however I want!”

You were being very difficult for Jungkook, he thought he could handle your mood swings but it’s starting to become too much for him. He wants you to cooperate with him but it’s like any little thing he says can set you off, you were a ticking time bomb ready to blow at any minute. He kept trying to drag you to his car but you kept cursing and shouting at him. He wants to believe you’re a good person, he really does, but your actions are showing something completely different.

“Can you just stop fighting with me!” Jungkook finally raises his voice at you, you froze when you heard his stern tone for the first time.

“I’m really trying with you y/n, but you’re making this hard for me, you’re too unpredictable...”

“Oh, but I thought you’ve dealt with bratty girls like me before?” You remind him again of what he said once before, making him regret his decision.

“I have… just not to your degree.”

“I guess I’m special then,” you laugh almost maniacally, still being tied down by Jungkook, the tight hold he had on you started to loosen up.

“You’re a lot to manage for sure,” he releases you from his grip and were finally free. He asks you to get in the car and you oblige, he makes his way back to your apartment.

As you approach your home, he parks across from it and you sit with Jungkook for a bit. You wanted to apologize for your actions earlier but you don’t even think an apology will suffice. Your behavior has been truly awful towards him and you wouldn’t be surprised he never wants to work with you again. You decide to do the weirdest option you could think of.

“Would you like to come inside?” You suddenly ask him, you don’t know why you’d ask something like that considering the stunt you pulled earlier. You were completely in shock when Jungkook actually says yes to your offer. Maybe the plan you originally had for tonight could still swing into action.

As you head inside, you see the same two roommates who were looking at you this morning, now seated on the couch. They turned their heads instantly when they saw Jungkook come in, looking at you as if you’d just killed someone. Your roommates hate when you bring people over, especially men. You couldn’t care less though, there was high chances of you getting evicted from this place anyway, might as well live it up while you still can.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” You say, spreading your arms out to show off your tiny bedroom. It wasn’t much but it was a space and you are proud of it, well— were.

“This is nice,” Jungkook says as he looks around to examine the place, “I only saw it for a brief moment before but this reminds me of an apartment I had in the early 2000’s when I was just starting out.”

You adored the way Jungkook would talk about old memories, he always had such pleasant things to say about his life. You were kind of jealous of his upbringing, how happy and exciting it sounded. You wished for a childhood where you could’ve just been yourself, not a caricature of what your parents want you to be. You secretly loathed Jungkook for having it easier than you.

“I really need another drink,” you say to him as you get up to head towards the kitchen but he stops you.

“I think you should lay off the drinking for the rest of the night, you’ve had too much already.”

Usually you’d retaliate and tell him to fuck off but you don’t this time. You simply just go back to sitting on your bed. You only wanted the alcohol to numb your pain away.

“Are you okay y/n? Seriously, if you need to talk I’m here for you.” His concern grew for you even more, letting it be known that you can rely on him for anything.

You feel the tears starting to arise now, all your melancholic thoughts pushed back in your mind became clear as day. You bring your legs up to your chest and hug yourself tight trying to comfort yourself.

“I just- I’m just dealing with a lot of stuff right now..” your voice became shakier as you spoke, unable to face him.

“What’s been going on? Tell me, I’m here for a reason, it’s not good to bottle it up and go through these things alone.” Jungkook has his hand rested on your knee, rubbing it gently as you start crying with your head in your hands. You hate when people see you like this and the fact Jungkook saw you cry twice was enough for you to never wanna show your face again. You weren’t sure what to even say, do you tell him about you and your best friend’s rocky relationship? Do you bring up your money troubles? Your fucked up childhood? The eviction notice on your door? Your mind begun spiraling.

You end up going on a ramble, a full blown rant of everything. You told him all the shitty things you’ve been through, how you were struggling, and even how you were going to be without a home soon. It felt good to let everything out but at the same time you feel worse for telling someone who’s basically still a stranger to you, your whole life story.

“Wow… that was a lot y/n,” Jungkook says trying to digest everything you just told him. You wipe your tears and finally show your face, your eyes were probably bloodshot but you didn’t care.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that,” he places his hand delicately on your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye. “You have me now y/n, I’m not going to let you go homeless, I’ll stick by your side.”

You smiled at his sweet comment, he sounded so sincere saying it, you truly believe he wouldn’t let that happen to you.

“Thank you Jungkook.” You reach out to give him a hug, he embraces you with open arms and gives you a tight, long hug back. You felt so safe with him and he’s never shown malicious intentions, if anything he’s put up with you for this long so that should already be saying something.

You ponder a thought in your head as you think about the idea of kissing Jungkook again, you know you’re probably making a big mistake by doing this but you were willing to give it a try anyway.

“Jungkook, can I kiss you?” You ask shyly, saying it in the softest, lowest tone. You’re usually straightforward with what you want but he was so inconsistent with the way he talked to you. One moment you think he wants you and the next you feel as though you just got friend-zoned to oblivion.

Jungkook looks visibly taken aback by your question, “I mean… yeah I’d love to.”

You were now even more taken aback than he was, he said yes??

You wasted no time to lean in and press your lips against his. Jungkook kisses you back tentatively, his hand now placed on the side of your face, stroking it gently. The aroma of his expensive cologne fills you with a deeper craving, making you feel dizzy as you continue kissing. Jungkook’s tongue presses against your lower lip as he asks for entry, you part your lips to let him explore you further. The warmth of his tongue leaves fuzzy feelings inside as he a kisses you more hungrily. His lips felt so soft, they were exactly how you’d expected them to be but better. His pillowy lips aligned perfectly against yours, tangling your fingers through his hair and moaning ever so slightly into his mouth.

This must’ve awakened something primal in him because once he heard that he kisses you with more aggression, feeling every ounce of burning passion. His fingertips went traveling down your leg as he exchanges his saliva for yours. It was messy, but addicting. You could feel the fireworks setting off inside you as you’re both breathing heavily from your lips being connected together. You can feel Jungkook’s fingers sliding lower, he rubs the inner part of your thigh and kneads it gently. You could feel your heart rapidly beating out of your chest, his mouth and his touch was the perfect recipe for you to become obsessed with him. Jungkook doesn’t break the kiss as he lifts you up from the edge of the bed, he carries you bridal style and brings you toward the middle of the bed now. Your bodies press against one another as you both roll on the bed, feeling both your body heats combined. Jungkook finally breaks away from the kiss to look deeply into your eyes, finding the heavy panting he was doing kind of hot.

“I think I really like you y/n,” Jungkook shamelessly admits.

“I like you too Jungkook.” You smile while saying it, you finally got the answer you wanted from him all along.

“I knew deep down that I liked you but I was scared,” he continues, “I was scared that you might reject me…”

You were surprised by Jungkook’s words, you thought the same way about him too. You both stare at each other with admiration and lust, dying to say something but not sure what. The sexual tension between you two only getting stronger as Jungkook scans your body with his eyes while licking his lips.

“You’re honestly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he presses his lips against yours again. You let him enter your mouth as you feel his warm tongue glide against yours. You rub his back and ruffled your fingers through his hair some more, never getting enough of the delicious taste of him. His sneaky hands slide to the hem of your top, playing with the fabric before drawing them upwards. He lightly gropes your boobs and massages them, his touch felt as light as a feather. He breaks the kiss and leaves trails of kisses down your chin, your neck, then to your collarbone. His hot breath against you was making your mind all hazy.

He brings his head back down to the hem of your shirt but he doesn’t take it off just yet, instead his hand roams up your body and goes underneath it. His hand now comes into contact with your nipple, causing your breath to hitch at the sensitivity. He drags his finger across your nipple, rubbing it in small, slow circles, looking up to get a good reaction from you. You open your mouth as you moan slightly, feeling the stimulation hitting every nerve in your body. He brings his other hand to your other nipple and plays with it a little rougher. He pinches them lightly and twists them a little bit, you can feel yourself growing even wetter down there, making more of a mess in your already soiled panties. He leaves a series of kisses along your neck, gently sucking on your skin, making sure not to hurt you as if you were fragile like porcelain. He leaves a small mark on your collarbone and smiles at you.

“You sure you want to do this?” Jungkook asks reassuringly, “we can always do this again another time… if you’re up for it.”

“No,” you quickly answer, “I want this, I need this.”

That was all he needed to hear in order to continue. He lifts up your shirt and tosses it somewhere on the floor. He also takes off his so you can feel more comfortable. You examine his body and you were completely mesmerized. He was shredded, his abs were rock solid and his biceps looked even bigger without a shirt on. You could tell this man works out seriously, he definitely had to work hard to get a body like that.

“Stop staring,” Jungkook says, “you’re making me feel self conscious.”

“Sorry but I’m staring because you’re literally so sexy..” you admit.

He smirks at your compliment, “you’re sexier though.”

His mouth now attaches to your perked nipple, making you hiss. He caresses your other boob as he licks, sucks, and nibbles on the soft flesh. As much as you were enjoying the feeling of his touch, you wanted more. You wanted him to give you his all. Jungkook comes up to your face again and kisses you once more. His kisses were so sweet, you couldn’t get enough of them. He’s back to rubbing your thigh again and you grab his hand, bringing it closer to the hem of your skirt. You can feel Jungkook smiling into the kiss, you were so horny for him and he loved it. Jungkook gets the hint, takes your skirt off and tosses it onto the floor with the rest of your clothes. He scans your body with his eyes as he finally gets a good look at your naked form, minus the panties you were wearing. He looks at your black lace see through panties that you bought from Victoria’s Secret awhile ago. He bit his lip at the sight of you in front of him. As you lye on your back and spread your legs for him, his eyes grew wide as you do it without being told. You look at him with the most innocent eyes while you’re doing such a dirty act.

“Touch yourself for me.” He orders, slipping into a more dominant role.

Without hesitation you do it, bringing your fingers to your clothed cunt. You feel yourself through your panties as you run your fingers down, teasing yourself for him as he watches you closely. Your hands trail to the inside your panties, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip when you slide your middle finger against your clit. You moan out quietly as you gather the wet slick from your folds, feeling how soaked you are. You kept going as you rub your swollen clit, loving that he’s watching and getting incredibly turned on by this. The sensation only heightens from doing this in front of him, you’re enjoying it a little too much.

"Yes, good girl. Keep going baby,” He encourages you to continue pleasuring yourself, “feels good doesn’t it?”

“Yes daddy, it does..” you keep your finger on your clit as you whine out loud, you weren’t sure how long he wanted you to keep doing this. You throw your head back as you spread your legs further, rubbing your pussy faster for him. As you continue building a steady rhythm, you can feel your rising heartbeat, panting even heavier. Your breath hitches and you feel as though you might just reach your climax right now. Your chest concaves and you sigh as you continue rubbing your egregious zones. Jungkook looks at you in the most amatory way, watching in amusement as you play with yourself.

“Fuck Jungkook, think m’gonna cum…” you close your eyes from all the stimulation. Your pussy was abnormally wet, practically leaking all over your thighs and soiling the sheets of the bed.

“Stop.” Jungkook demands sternly, you instantly open your eyes to look at him and he looks dead serious.

You do as you’re told and stop but you feel so sad now, wanting to reach your high but now it’s simply vanished away. You whine loudly, you were hoping Jungkook would be kind enough to let you cum.

“You think I’m really going to let you cum without it being from me first?” He tsks, taking your hand off your stomach to prevent you from trying anything else.

“I wanted to get a feel of what you like.” He further explains his reasoning, “the way I could only do that was through a proper demonstration.”

You feel yourself grow more turned on the more Jungkook keeps talking. He says things so sensually and it makes you go absolutely crazy.

He settles on top of you and kisses you sweetly. He decorates your body with more fleeting kisses and once he lands upon your stomach he pauses momentarily. The wet muscle of his tongue glides against your stomach, leaving a glistening trail to your navel, quickly kissing it once he’s done. He goes down a little further and licks a long, thick stripe across your clothed slit. You gasp as you feel his tongue against you, wishing you could feel it without the restriction of your underwear, but soon you’ll be able to.

He kisses your pussy and brings a couple licks and bites to your thighs. You smile in delight as he resides himself between your legs, everything about him felt so warm. He finally slides your panties down, tossing them to the side as he doesn’t waste another second to slip his tongue inside, giving you no time to register anything as he flicks up and down. You love the way it feels, every bone and tendon within your body being surged with electricity. He continues dipping his tongue in your wetness as you hold onto his hair, causing it to look even messier. He licks from the bottom and goes back to the top, coming in contact with your clit now. He presses his tongue against it, giving small kitten licks at first. You wanted him to devour you already, the patience in you was growing thinner by the minute.

“Put your whole face in it,” you tell him in a demanding tone, you’ve always been the one in charge when it came to sex but Jungkook was not one of those men.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do,” he says, his licks get slower now, he’s doing it on purpose to further agitate you.

“Please! Jungkook, I’m begging you to just fuck me already my god!”

Jungkook lifts his head up to look at you, his eyes were dark, almost going black.

“Fine, if that’s what you want so bad then I’ll give it you, slut.”

Jungkook takes off his jeans and boxers, you finally get the cock reveal you’ve been waiting for. His manhood was long, thick, and veiny— just as you imagined it to be. You lick your lips at the sight of his lengthy cock, wanting it in your mouth so badly. You come up to Jungkook and grab his cock in your hand ready to suck, but he flings your hand away instead.

“You said you wanted me to fuck you, right?”

You nod, but now you’re regretting what you said, you wanted to feel his cock in your mouth but now you won’t be getting it.

He’s back on top of you once again and strokes his cock a little bit before he puts it in. He groans as he slides his shaft against your wet folds. You moan out loud too, begging for him to finally give you what you’ve been craving for hours. He continues rubbing your lips slowly with the head of his cock, his teasing is making you go utterly insane. You know he’s doing this just to annoy you.

“I’m only prolonging this because I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook admits, “I’ve made girls bleed before, and no they were not virgins.”

“I really don’t wanna hear about other bitches right now,” you tell him as you roll your eyes, “I just want your dick in me. I can handle it, I promise.”

He proceeds to shut up and finally slides the tip inside, the sensation of him gradually opening you up little by little felt euphoric.

“Yes Jungkook, give it to me, give it all to me daddy…” you moan for him as he slides more of his cock inside.

The feeling of your warm pussy clenching around him made his mind go blank. Nothing was on his mind other than the way your walls were closing on him.

“You feel so good already baby,” Jungkook says, he finally had all of his cock inside you now, filling you up so beautifully that you’ve never felt so stuffed before.

“You feel good too.”

He begins to thrust in you with a slow and steady pace at first, but he quickens it once you start eagerly bucking your hips up for him. He grabs your hips and holds them in place as he fucks himself deeper into you. The sound of your wet pussy slamming with Jungkook’s cock making you a hysterical mess. Jungkook watches as his cock disappears in and out of you, he grips your hips tighter as he goes as deep as he can. You feel him hitting all the right spots inside of you, he was making you feel crazy good, never wanting it to end. Your pretty tits were bouncing as he just keeps fucking you silly.

“Your pussy feels too good, I might not pull out…” Jungkook was fully immersed into you, his cock felt amazing buried deep in your walls, sucking him in perfectly.

“Mmm.. yes daddy please, wanna feel your cum!” You moan loudly as you close your eyes from all the pleasure.

Jungkook really loves the way you call him daddy during sex, he’s not sure if it’s because he just likes the way you say it or because he could actually be old enough to be your daddy. Either way a switch turned on for him and his insatiable appetite for your pussy was only growing stronger. Jungkook starts to thrust into you almost violently, his tight grip on your hips were leaving visible bruises now. You moaned louder as you feel his cock hitting your walls even harder, you scream out for him to keep going. You feel so full as you clench around him, you can see his face contorting from the grip your pussy has on his cock. Jungkook only gets more aggressive as he fucks you, circling your clit with the pad of his thumb viciously. Your eyes fell to the back of your head, feeling your orgasm only coming faster.

“Jungkook please choke me,” you plea as you moan desperately, you wanted his hand around your neck so bad right now. He doesn’t say anything except brings his tatted hand straight to your neck, wraps his fingers around the base of it and squeezes lightly. You tell him to add more pressure, the more he adds the more aroused you got. You’ve been choked during sex only once before and you remember liking it a lot.

“You okay with this?” Jungkook asks while still holding onto your neck, you thought it was so cute how even during sex he’s worried for your safety.

“I’m fine, I’m fine keep going,” you were enjoying every bit of it.

His grip on your neck grew tighter as his thrusts became more erratic, you move your hips up to match his rampant thrusts so you could be in sync. Your bodies were morphing as one and you could feel yourself coming close to your orgasm. You looked so fucked out right now, reduced to nothing but a whiny and babbling mess.

“I’m gonna cum daddy!” You moan out, he still had you in a chokehold but lowered his face to come closer to yours. You thought he was going to kiss you so you part your lips to already gain him entrance but instead he spits in your mouth. You swallow it and open your mouth again to show that was it gone.

“That’s my good girl,” he groans as he shoves his cock deeper, “Now you can cum on daddy’s cock.”

You feel yourself let go as soon as you hear him say that, you practically scream out his name when he hits your g-spot. You were pleading for Jungkook to cum inside you, you wanted nothing more than to be filled up by him. You tell him over and over again how you want him to fill you with his hot cum. Jungkook feels like he can’t even say no in this situation, the combination of your tight, wet pussy swallowing him with you moaning how badly you want him to cum inside is too much for him. He feels his chest cave in as he’s about to release.

“I’m gonna cum baby!” His hand was still on your neck while the other was kneading your left breast. You tell him you’re about to cum too and you both moan together in synchrony. You held onto him as your orgasm washes over, your eyes grow heavy, and your breathing becomes irregular. You feel your walls being coated with Jungkook’s thick, hot cum making you all warm and fuzzy inside. He stops thrusting hard into you and resorts to super slow strokes, letting you ride out each other’s highs and just relax.

“Fuck.. that was so good,” Jungkook sighs, falling on top of you, “I wasn’t expecting you to be this vocal in the bedroom.”

“Really?” You say, “you should know what type of person I am by now.”

You lay there with Jungkook’s head on your chest, his cock was still buried in you but it felt nice. You can feel some of his cum dripping down your leg now, you were so sad that you couldn’t keep every last drop of it.

“I love the way your cum feels inside me,” you close your eyes as you were about to fall asleep.

“I love that you love my cum,” he strokes your hair from the side, “wait— are you birth control?”

“No…” you admit.

Jungkook immediately gets off of you and starts to go into a panicky state, he would’ve thought he had just committed an illegal crime. You sit up and stare at him confused, “why is that such a big deal? I don’t even think I can get pregnant, my ex used to fuck me raw all the time and nothing happened!”

“It’s not just about getting pregnant y/n, you should’ve at least told me before we fucked!”

“Well I’m sorry..” that was all you had to say for yourself, you weren’t thinking about how Jungkook felt and it was selfish of you. However, he is also to blame since he was the one who ultimately decided to finish inside you.

“Fuck, we gotta get you to a CVS or something, I don’t wanna take my chances.” Jungkook quickly puts on his clothes and you just stared as he kept panicking. You thought he was being over dramatic and didn’t see much urgency with this whole situation.

“The convenience store I used to work at sells plan B,” you advise nonchalantly, still sitting in bed and didn’t even bother with putting your clothes back on.

“Ok I’ll be right back,” he says as he dashes out the door. You wanted to feel bad about lowkey manipulating him into cumming in you but at the same time he’s a grown man who’s much older than you and could’ve obviously pulled out if he wanted to. If anything, you took a little pride in yourself for getting him so worked up over this.

Jungkook came back fairly quick, he brought you the plan B and told you to swallow it right away. You do as you’re told only because you were tired of him acting like a whiny little bitch, this was the only time you’ve ever seen him lose his composure.

“There I swallowed it,” you stick your tongue out so you can show him it’s gone, “happy now?”

“Yes, I actually am thank you.” He says, you were a little sussed out by the way he was acting but maybe he had good reason for it. There’s a lot of women out there that manipulate men into getting them pregnant and a guy as affluent as him needs to be careful.

Jungkook sits back down on your bed, looking a lot more at ease now. It was past one in the morning and Jungkook asks you if he can stay the night with you. You let him since it was pretty late at night and you enjoy his company (most of the time). You get in bed together and cuddle up for a bit, you were obviously the little spoon and he held you tightly. You liked being like this with him, it made you feel closer than ever, grinning to yourself as you feel his soft touch against you.

Waking up with Jungkook felt nice. You were surprised to see him still here in the morning laying right next to you, he looked so peaceful when he sleeps. You smile at his sleeping state and just lay there with him, admiring how pretty he is. You see his eyes flutter open and he looked so cute just as he’s waking up. You wanted to give him a morning kiss but you weren’t sure if he would be okay with it. Jungkook moves slightly and props his head up a little, he lets out a yawn as he stretches out. He turns around to face you now and meets you with an adoring look.

“Good morning beautiful,” he says to you, he reaches over and gives you a forehead kiss.

“How’d you sleep?” You ask him, moving closer to him so he can cuddle with you.

“It wasn’t too bad, how was yours?”

“Good!”

Jungkook plants a kiss to your lips and gently caresses your cheek. He goes on to tell you about this new gig he got for you yesterday, you were surprised that you got another booking already.

“As soon as I showed the creative directors your headshot they instantly wanted to book you,” he says proudly, “I knew you’d be the perfect model, I just knew it.”

“And I’m all yours,” you reply to him, “other people can like me but I only want you.” You know that sounded so clingy and unlike you, but it was the truth.

“I only want you too babe,” he says as he kisses you again.

You felt so happy in this moment, you couldn’t think of the last time you felt like this, it’s been a really long time though. It’s like Jungkook came into your life when you needed him the most.

“So what are we then?” You ask him, “are we official yet?”

“Woah slow your roll y/n, I like you a lot but don’t you think this is moving way too fast?”

You frowned at his comment, you don’t care if the relationship is going too fast, this was the happiest you’ve been in the longest and no one’s going to take that away from you.

“What’re you so scared of Jungkook?”

He doesn’t answer, the room is filled with complete silence.

“Uh, where’s your bathroom? I really need to take a shower,” he sheepishly asks.

You couldn’t believe that’s all he said, he was flat out choosing to ignore the question.

“It’s down the hallway to the left.”

Jungkook springs up from the bed and gathers some of his things so he can head in the shower. You sigh as you watch him walk out, you were now left with even more questions unanswered. You lye back down on the bed and think about how you feel in this moment, you want to keep pressing him with questions about you two but you don’t even think it’s worth it. You may just have to accept the fact that you fucked your modeling agent and nothing more.

The sounds of vibrating interrupts your train of thought, you look down at your phone but it wasn’t yours, it was coming from somewhere else. The semi-loud clamor was starting to annoy you and you looked around to follow the noise. To your side, you see a phone on the floor buzzing around, you assume it’s Jungkook’s and you pick it up to see who was calling. As soon as you pick it up the call stopped ringing but a few moments later you see the notification pop up again.

You see someone named ‘Soyeon’ has been calling his phone multiple times. You know you should never answer people's calls for them but they’ve already called about twelve times. You wonder why though, maybe it’s an angry client. You let it go straight to voicemail but to your surprise a voicemail notification showed up anyway. You click it but you obviously couldn’t get in since his phone was locked, you were so curious that you thought of possible passwords he could have. You try a few but none of them work, you began to grow frustrated and when you see that you only have one more try before you get locked out you get a little nervous. If you try this again and it doesn’t work, he’ll notice his phone is locked out. You suddenly remember the night of you and Jungkook on the balcony at that party. You vaguely remember him talking about something on his phone and you watched him unlock his phone multiple times. You were pretty intoxicated that night but you do your best to replay your memory, feeling confident about trying the password again. When you type in the seven digit code for the last time, you finally got in. You give yourself a mental pat on the back for your wonderful detective skills. You go to his voicemail box and listen to the message from Soyeon:

“Jungkook it's Soyeon, answer your goddamn phone! When are you getting back to come see me and the kids, hm? We all miss you and oh— by the way since our anniversary is coming up, I thought we could go out to dinner or maybe even our beach house but you aren't answering your phone! Well anyways, I know you’re busy with your clients so have fun on your business trip, love you so much honey, please call back soon.”

Your heart sank as you finished listening to the whole thing. You just slept with a man that has a whole wife and kids. Not only were you ashamed, you were disgusted. In him and yourself. You were in utter disbelief that he could lie to your face like this, he was pretty much living a double life. You wonder if his intentions were ever sincere to begin with now. You feel as though you could cry, putting his phone back on the floor where you found it, the tears were already slowly forming. Once again, when you feel so sure of someone this time and you’re finally becoming happy, yet again another disaster.

You now know why he acted so sketched out at times, why he was so quick to try and get you to leave that time you randomly showed up at his house. Getting full clarity on the reason he panicked so much yesterday about the plan B situation. You were officially the other woman and it didn’t feel good to be in this position at all. You know you have to confront Jungkook with this but you’ll have to admit that you looked through his phone first, which isn’t a good look for you. Looking from an outside perspective, both of you are in the wrong, however, it’s your responsibility now to bring this all to light with him. You hear your door open now, Jungkook reappears but was now fully dressed. You looked at him so differently, wanting nothing to do with this anymore. Before you could get a word out he tells you something that might be even more shocking than the newfound information you discovered.

“So I talked to your landlord on the phone and he says everything is fine now,” Jungkook says calmly.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re not getting evicted anymore, there’s nothing to worry about.”

You still weren’t sure what he meant, unless he found a way to pay your missing three months work of rent then you were still pretty much fucked.

You blankly stare at him, “I really don’t know what you mean by that.”

“I paid all your bills off y/n.”

“You what?!”

“I told you I would handle everything by taking care of you and I did, you’re with me now right?”

You froze a bit, unsure of what to say. You were more than happy you didn’t have to stress about your money problems but now there’s an even bigger problem to address. He’s saying all the right things to you but you know this is wrong.

You’ve done a lot of shitty things in your life but sleeping with a married man might just take the #1 spot. You felt like a second choice, just some fun young girl he can go to when his wife pisses him off. You decide to just finally come out and say it,

“Jungkook you can stop lying to me now, I already know the whole truth…”

#jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts smut #jeon jungkook x reader #bts fanfic

695 notes · View notes

deadtired-highkeyenergetic · 13 days

Text

You're Not Alone (pt 2)

And here is the requested part 2 of vampire spawn!Tav/reader! I'm pretty sure I injected more fluff into this one after the very dark part 1.

Taglist (I guess I could do one in the future): @silverfangmarks @astarioffsimpmain

Summary: You and Astarion deal with the aftermath that is you being turned into a vampire spawn.

After the events of Cazador’s palace, the group quietly head back to the inn, covered in blood and downcast. Astarion keeps his distance from your limp body gently cradled by Halsin, gaze fixed on the ground and disappears the moment the party reaches the inn.

“Where is the vampire spawn going?” Lae’zel hisses. “He is the reason why Y/N is like this, he should be here.”

“Leave him be, Lae’zel. He’s taken the events hard, give him some space for now.” Halsin chides, setting you down on a bed. Your physical injuries can be easily healed with some blood, fortunately Cazador hadn’t gotten far with his poem before the party had crashed the ritual so your scars wouldn’t be as bad as Astarion’s but the main issue is the emotional scarring. Halsin had hoped Astarion would remain by your side so that when you woke up, he could help you but the vampire had gone off by himself and Halsin wasn’t sure when he’d return.

The druid slices open a wound on his wrist and lets the blood drip into your slightly ajar mouth. Your throat bobs instinctively, swallowing the precious fluid but your eyes remain close. At least you’re drinking the blood, that was enough at this stage. He continues letting his blood drip into your mouth until your eyelids flutter and you stir slightly.

“Y/N.” He says. You groan in response, eyes opening blearily.

This place smelled different, looked different. You were in a different place, where were you? You shoot up, eyes wide and muscles tensed, ready to fight. A quick glance around the place told you you were in a room of sorts and the only other person around was Halsin.

“Where am I?” You croak. Your body felt cold, sore and you wanted nothing more than to fall into a deep slumber.

“You’re at Elfsong Tavern’s Inn. Don’t worry, you’re safe now. Cazador is gone, he can’t harm you anymore,” Halsin reassures you, but keeps a distance away to give you some space. You press a hand to your head as memories come rushing back to you. Astarion’s siblings coming for him, you defending him, Cazador appearing and kidnapping you, Astarion’s cry for you, Cazador using you as Astarion’s substitute in the ritual, the pain that followed, the others rescuing you, Astarion holding you tightly in his arms, comforting you…

'“Astarion,” you whisper, “where…”

“He’ll be back soon,” Halsin says, but you can tell he’s lying.

“You don’t know!” You snap accusingly, “stop lying! Where did he go?”

“Calm down, Y/N. After we brought you back, Astarion left for somewhere, although none of us know where or how long he will be gone. He still hasn’t returned.” Halsin raises his hands in surrender. “I didn’t want to worry you after all you’ve just been through.”

“It’s just that simple! Just tell me! Like that!” You snarl, fangs bared. Halsin leans away so that your fangs are far enough from him and you realise what you’ve just done.

“I’m sorry. It’s not even your fault.” You sit back down on the bed, shoulders hunched. “Everything’s been so…much.”

Halsin shakes his head, “it’s quite alright. You have a lot to adjust to, with your new…condition.”

“At least the tadpole still lets me walk in the sun,” you give a hollow laugh, “if Astarion’s ability to do so is anything to go by.”

You smile sadly at the bed beneath you. “Things can never go back to the way it was, and I was so looking forward to doing so many things once we had our tadpoles removed too.”

Halsin remains quiet and you sit there in the silence with him, tears sliding down your cold cheeks. You curl up, hugging your knees to your chest, causing tears to stain your kneecaps. The warmth you once had is all gone now, replaced by a chill that reminds you of what you have lost, of what you once had.

“Are you still hungry?” Halsin quietly breaks the silence, extending his wrist towards you. You shake your head despite the sanguine hunger gnawing at you, afraid of what the act of feeding solidifies.

“Then I will take my leave first. Call me if you need anything.” The druid rises from the stool, sending you a look of concern but leaves you with your thoughts.

You stare at your hands, your cold undead hands and bite your lip. Your new fangs pierce through skin with ease, drawing a little blood and your nostrils flare instinctively at the scent. The sanguine hunger roars again, louder this time. It craves blood, it demands blood but you force it down as far as it can go. You hate it, you hate your new condition. You hate the thought that once your tadpole has been removed, you’ll never be able to enjoy the sun again, feel its warmth. You finally truly understand why Astarion had been so adamant about ascending, the temptation to do the same is strong.

Suddenly, a new scent floods your nose.

“Who’s there?” You call, glaring in the direction of the scent. Astarion steps into view, smiling a little too widely — a sign that he was nervous.

“You’re awake, darling. That’s good.” He moves to sit on your bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve just been turned into a vampire spawn?” He flinches at your words and you wish you could take them back.

“Sorry.” You mutter. “It’s just…a lot to take in.”

Astarion quietly looks down, fidgeting. The silence between the two of you isn’t the comfortable kind, the tension in the air waiting for one of you to cut it so you decide to take the initiative.

“What’s it like, being a vampire spawn. Is there anything I have to take note of?”

“It’s…something that takes time to get used to.” Astarion murmurs.

“Well, good thing I have you to guide me, don’t I?” You smile, reaching over to take his hand in yours. Both your hands are cold now, freezing to the touch, reminding Astarion of one more thing he has lost to Cazador.

“Even when permanently dead he still haunts me,” Astarion mutters, squeezing your hand tightly. “How badly did he scar you?”

The concern in his ruby red eyes is genuine, a softness you’ve missed filling the crimson orbs. You turn around despite everything in your body screaming at you not to, feeling yourself shake as you slip your top off, flashes of memories you’d rather keep buried burning through your mind. Astarion suppresses the angry growl that threatens to spill from his throat, hatred for Cazador burning once more and wishes he could drag the vampire lord from wherever dead vampires went just so he could make Cazador pay with pain a million times worse than yours.

You swallow as bile rises to your throat, the overwhelming scent of your blood filling your nose, screams of pain flooding your mind, then the scent you’ve saved as Astarion’s fills your nose as he wraps his arms around you, whispers of love falling from his lips.

“It’s alright darling, I’ve got you. I promise you’re safe. Focus on my voice, breathe together with me.” He whispers into your ear. “In…out…in…out…”

Through the haze, you struggle to regain control of your body, tears blurring your vision once more but with Astarion’s help, you find a breathing rhythm and grasp tightly onto it.

In, out. In, out.

When the room shifts back into focus, you realise that the scent of your blood wasn’t just a figment of your imagination. Long claw marks decorate your arms, your clawed fingertips stained crimson while the sheets beneath soak up whatever has dripped onto it.

“Shit, I’m a mess,” you whimper.

“Everyone is,” Astarion reassures you, pulling a bottle out. “Here, you’ll need to drink this. All of it. Don’t leave a single drop.”

The sweet scent of blood fills the air as he uncorks the bottle and your hunger growls, eager to lap it all up but you push his hand and the bottle away. “I’m not hungry.”

“Don’t be stubborn,” Astarion scowls. “I’m not going to let you starve yourself to death, trust me, you do not want to be starving as a vampire. It’s worse than death.”

“I don’t want to drink another person’s blood,” you croak weakly. The very thought of doing so makes you want to vomit, but your body says otherwise.

“It’s bear blood. I went out to hunt and came across a bear,” Astarion swirls the bottle. “I promise I’m not lying.”

You cautiously take the bottle from him, lifting it up to your lips. You have to trust him on this, it’s not like you know how bear blood smells like as a vampire. Locking gazes with him, you tilt the bottle, letting the sweet liquid wash down your throat. Strange new flavours burst in your mouth but it’s a pleasant taste and sends a tingle down your spine. Soon, you’re greedily sucking the bottle dry until there is not a drop left.

“There, not so bad, is it?” Astarion leans in to give you a peck on your cheek. “Now, your instincts should help but this is the best place to drink from on a wrist.”

He points to a spot on his wrist and lifts it up to your lips, “give it a try.”

You eye him warily and he sighs at your reluctance, “I can’t keep giving you bottles of blood to drink from, love. You’re going to need to learn how to feed yourself.”

“But I don’t want to,” you mumble. Astarion frowns but doesn’t push the matter further, instead he reaches for the medical kit Halsin has left behind and starts to clean up the dried blood on your arms. You let him, silently watching as the cloth starts to turn brown.

“There, all beautiful and blemish-free again,” he presses kisses along the length of both your arms, tossing the cloth aside. “Being…this doesn’t change anything about you, love. You’re still the same person, and that is more than enough for me.”

He cups your cheeks, letting his thumbs run over the skin of your cheeks. Leaning in, he presses his forehead against yours and feels you wrap your arms around him. With a small smile, he pulls you in, feeling your head rest on his shoulder as he embraces you tightly, breathing in your new scent. One of his hands gently rests on the back of your head, fingers running through your matted hair.

“You’re not alone. I’ll always be here for you, right by your side whenever you need me. That I promise. I won’t let you go through what I went through, I won’t let you be alone in this.” He swears, holding you tightly. “We’ll face this together, side by side.”

You clutch desperately at his tunic, crying for what feels like the millionth time today into his chest and he lets you, ignoring the way your tears dampen and stain his clothes. Instead, he curls around you, wishing he could shield you from the world and the suffering he knows is to come and cherishes the way you cling onto him, the way you so clearly trust him with everything you have. No one had ever bared their soul like this to him, even all his prey had always kept a thing or two from him, no matter how sweet the lies he used to ensnare them.

You were different. You had let your walls down around him, bared your sweet neck at him, let him drink the first night he had tried drinking your blood instead of staking him on the spot and in return he had fallen for you. He let you have his back, let you into the shattered pieces he called his heart and let you see his broken self, hoping it wouldn’t scare you off and it hadn’t. Now you were the broken one and you had let him see it all, returning the favour was only natural but it wasn’t the only reaosn he was doing all this. He wanted to help you without needing anything in return, he wanted to see you smile again, he wanted to…he wanted to show you how much he truly loved you.

He had changed, that much he knew. It wasn’t long ago when he’d have chosen to ascend no matter the cost, but that night when he had seen you bound by glyphs with Infernal being carved into your back, all he could think about was how if he ascended you would be sacrificed too. He couldn’t bring himself to do that, he couldn’t sacrifice you no matter what he would gain in return.

He wouldn’t have needed to consider that if you hadn’t been turned into a vampire spawn.

Years of self-hatred gnaw away at him, reminding him of his failure, hisweakness that had led to this whole mess. If only he had been stronger, faster, better, then maybe you wouldn’t have to suffer his fate, the fate of a vampire spawn. His thoughts tear into him again and again, berating him, a whirling wind of destruction that threaten to unravel him. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes, fighting the darkness that threatens to drown him. He doesn’t have time for this, he has to help you adjust, to be there whenever you’re drowning and he can’t do that if he’s wallowing in self-deprecation. Those damned thoughts can wait another day.

A quick glance down lets him know you’ve fallen asleep in his arms, worn out from recent events and he lets out a soft sigh, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I meant everything I said, my love,” he says, knowing you can’t hear his words but that’s fine by him. He doesn’t want you to hear his next words anyways. “I love you.”

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x tav #astarion romance #astarion ancunin #astarion #tav x astarion #bg3 tav #tav #baldurs gate tav #astarion angst #astarion fluff

206 notes · View notes

daisyvisions · 3 months

Text

Unspoken Words (Pt. 1)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: best friend!Sangyeon x afab!reader x enemy!Hyunjae

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: If someone were to tell you that you'd be in a fake relationship with the person you despise the most just to make your best friend jealous, you would've laughed in their face. But here you are... caught up in this exact situation.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 4.2K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: (18+, minors DNI), fake dating, mutual pining, angst, jealousy, lots of suggestive themes such as: mention of a handjob and orgasm, groping, and fondling with breasts. Mentions of alcohol. Some cursing, lots of kissing and making out, eventual smut in part two. One use of the pet name “baby”. Implied sex and loss of virginity. Lots of time skipping. Let me know if I missed anything! Proofread twice.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: And just in the nick of time I’ve managed to write out my Secret Santa exchange gift. This one’s for you baby girl @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. You nearly sniffed out that it was me writing for you so I had to deviate and lie to you for a moment so sorry about that huhu anyway! A true blessing that you happen to be my recipient because we both love sangmil. A two-part mini series because I just love to keep you on your toes 😈 Hope you enjoy this gift! Thank you so much for your friendship and all the fun moments shared! Special shoutout to @momhwa-agenda / @aimeecarreros for being my accomplice hehe. Finally a sangmil fic has made its debut on the blog!

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

You never should’ve gone to this stupid spring dance.

The thought in your mind repeating like a broken record as you try to hug yourself from the cold air outside the gymnasium. Tears running down your face as you stare off into the ground trying not to remember the reason why you suddenly ran out of the venue to begin with.

It wasn’t always like this. You were once very content with how things were going on in your life.

With the semester almost ending and all your mid-term grades just enough to pass, you couldn’t wait to celebrate surviving your last year of college with this one magical night. Especially with your best friend Sangyeon by your side.

Right… best friend.

The same best friend that had been ignoring you for the last two months or so (not that you were counting of course). Your mind races as you try to figure out for the nth time what even started this whole issue between you two.

All you could think back to was the beginning of his odd behavior, which started the week after your birthday. At first you thought Sangyeon was just busy with extracurriculars, which was often the case since he was part of numerous clubs and volunteer work.

But then things started to feel off as soon as he would ignore your calls, take too long to reply to texts, hearing from other friends he was just at home when he told you he was “fully booked” to hang out. It was like he was trying to come up with every excuse in the book just to not see your face.

Was he trying to hide something from you perhaps? That idea immediately disappeared as soon as you accidentally overheard his conversation with Haknyeon that one time you were all hanging out at Eric’s apartment.

“What?! You’re not gonna ask her to the spring dance?” You hear Haknyeon’s surprised tone.

“Of course not.” Sangyeon scoffs. “Why would I want to bring her? We’re just friends after all.”

You felt a sudden pang in your heart. Tears threatening to fall down as Sangyeon’s words bore deep holes within your soul. After everything you’ve been through together, this is how he thinks of you?

It shouldn’t have been that deep honestly, but with him ignoring you for the past couple of weeks and remembering the promise you made with each other to go together to the spring dance? It really fucking hurt you. Especially when you and Sangyeon had been by each other’s side since you first met three years ago at your freshman orientation. Instantly hitting it off like two peas in a pod and the rest was history.

Somewhere down the line, you knew you had some sort of feelings for him. Who wouldn’t?

With a smile that can cure any bad feeling you had, how he always took care of you first, the lingering hugs before you had to part ways at the end of the day, the way he would remember even the most insignificant details of a story you were rambling about, and made sure to always message you good night and good morning… He was the dream guy for you.

And even if you had moments wherein you thought he might’ve felt the same way, you didn’t want to sacrifice the strong bond you had with him over a stupid little crush. You just settled with the idea of just staying in the friend zone and not dare to cross any lines with him. Burying any what could’ves and everything else in-between.

Maybe that’s why Sangyeon distancing himself from you hurt more than it should’ve honestly.

So when you were seated at your table during the dance and saw Sangyeon entering the room with his date wrapping her arm around his, you felt massive sting in your chest.

That should’ve been you. It should've been you spending this night with him instead of whoever was currently by his side.

You thought you could go through the night just by avoiding your gaze their table, but the way Sangyeon smiled at his date and at everyone else like nothing was wrong, but his face slightly faltering as he quickly glanced your way, you just had to get out of there before things went downhill.

Your teeth were chattering from the cold air breezing against your exposed skin, nose sniffling and hands wiping whatever tears were leaving marks on your face. Suddenly, a pair of shoes enter your line of vision while your eyes were still glued to the ground.

“You shouldn’t be out here, it’s freezing.” The familiar voice tells you.

As soon as you look up, you find Hyunjae staring down at you. One of his eyebrows slightly raised as he wonders what has gotten you into this depressed state on a special night like this.

“Laugh it up Hyunjae, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? To see me cry?” You look up at him for a moment with your tear-stained face before looking back down at your feet.

Before you could even continue feeling sorry for yourself, Hyunjae sighs and squats down, his face now at the same level as yours. You feel his fingers lift your chin and gently tap the tears away from your cheeks with his handkerchief. Your eyes widen as he leans in closer, making sure not to ruin your makeup in the process.

“W-what are you doing?” you stutter.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be crying.” He nonchalantly replies.

You’re too stunned to speak at his comment. As far as you know, Hyunjae has been nothing but a pain in your ass ever since he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway causing your diorama to break into tiny pieces as it fell to the ground.

Since then, you wrote him off as your sworn enemy. Always finding ways to annoy the hell out of you and get you to react to his antics, making side comments to one another, and his constant teasing that made you want to rip your hair off.

So no, never in your wildest dreams would you hear such a comment coming out of Hyunjae’s mouth.

“Hello?” Hyunjae waves his hand in front of you.

“What?” You shook your head as you were too distracted from hearing the question he had asked you.

“I said, do you wanna get out of here or what?” He sighs as he lends his hand out for you to grab. You hesitate at first. In any normal situation, you would never even let Hyunjae get as close as he did just now, let alone go somewhere with him.

But what the hell… Anywhere is better than here.

“So… who’s the lucky guy that has you bawling your eyes out? It’s obviously not me.” Hyunjae smirks. You had found yourself seated by the bar, eating french fries as you waited for your drinks to arrive.

“It’s uh- It’s a little complicated.” You try to avoid his eyes.

“Trouble in paradise?” Hyunjae pops a fry into his mouth waiting for your answer. Your eyes widen at his suggestion, knowing who he was referring to.

“What? No! I mean- We were never together if that’s what you’re thinking.” You sigh before carefully explaining to him the whole situation you were currently in with Sangyeon. Hyunjae intently looks into your eyes as you tell your side of the story.

“Huh…” Hyunjae takes a sip of his beer.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” You look at him as he drinks, trying to not to dwell too much at the way his neck looks flexed under the dim light.

“You’re really impatient you know that?” He chuckles before taking another sip. “I was about to tell you an idea I just thought of.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear it then.” You take a sip of your cocktail this time.

“What if you make him jealous? Like really jealous.” Hyunjae suggests.

“Pass. First of all, I don’t think he likes me that way. And second, who the hell would he even be jealous of? Sangyeon hardly gets jealous by anything.” You squint at him. What a silly idea.

“No c’mon. Trust me, he’ll be jealous alright. Especially when it comes to you.” He eyes you up and down subtly.

“What does that even me-” Before you could even finish your sentence you spot behind Hyunjae a group of students dressed in formal attire entering the bar. And like a moth to a flame, you immediately spot Sangyeon and his date amongst the group.

Hyunjae turns around to see what had been the cause of your panic, his eyes immediately spotting Sangyeon from a distance as well. And as soon as Sangyeon had a puzzled look on his face he knew that Sangyeon had spotted the two of you by the bar, wondering what the hell were you doing with Hyunjae of all people.

You hop off the bar stool, attempting to run away like you did during the dance, but you suddenly feel a hand gently grab you by the arm and pull you back before you could even make a run for it.

“C’mere.” Hyunjae asks.

“Wha-”

“Just follow my lead.” He whispers in your ear.

And before you know it, you feel Hyunjae lips pressed against yours. His hands cupping your face before sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. It takes a moment for your brain to process what’s going on, but your body responds faster by wrapping your arms around Hyunjae’s neck and deepening the kiss.

The way his lips perfectly mold against yours, how soft they feel as his hands squeeze your waist. The little groan he lets out as you slip your tongue inside his mouth, tasting the beer he had drank as your fingers run through his hair.

You nearly moan with how he slowly but expertly moves his mouth against yours. As if he’s taking to memory what your lips feel like in case this moment would never happen again. Both you and Hyunjae nearly forget you’re practically sucking each other’s faces off in public, which was surprising considering the nature of your relationship with one another.

No one could even tell the two of you despised the other as you held each other like lovers.

None of you see it, but the way Sangyeon looks at both of you right now is as if he wants to throw daggers at Hyunjae from across the room. Witnessing the both of you passionately kissing each other makes his stomach churn, a feeling he has never felt before. So many questions run in his head as he continues to watch from afar.

Before he even tries to take a step towards your direction, he sees you both pull away from one another. Hyunjae whispering something in your ear as you look too stunned to speak before taking out his wallet, pulling out cash and settling it on the table before whisking you away out of the bar.

Sangyeon really should’ve brought you to the spring dance like he promised… because not only does he feel like an asshole, but a jealous one at that.

The car ride on the way to your house was incredibly silent, as if what had happened between you and Hyunjae was just your imagination. Except it wasn’t. You could still feel his lips lingering on yours as you try to lean your head against the window and looking at anything passing by.

You’re broken from your trance as you hear Hyunjae’s door closing and his figure making its way to your side of the car. He lends out his hand for you to grab once again, helping you get out of the car and walk you to the front of your apartment.

“So… I’ll see you around?” Hyunjae smiles awkwardly says as he puts both his hands in his pockets.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You grab his elbow as he’s about to turn around.

“Hm?” He raises one eyebrow.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but-” You huff in-between, “let’s go with your plan.” You watch the little mischievous smirk appear on Hyunjae’s lips.

“If you just wanted to make out some more you could’ve just asked.” He teases. You’re about to slap him on the arm but he catches your hand and holds it tight.

“I’m kidding! Just… Let me know when and what time we can talk about it more alright?” He squeezes your hand gently. You don’t know why but a tiny little butterfly flutters in your stomach as you feel Hyunjae’s thumb subconsciously stroke the back of your hand.

“Okay… Thank you by the way for tonight-” you tiptoe a bit to hold Hyunjae’s cheek and leave a light peck on his lips. He’s caught off guard by your action, almost leaning forward some more to continue kissing you but you pull away quick enough before he does.

“Y-yeah, sure. Anytime.” Thank god it’s night time he thinks, otherwise you would've easily spotted the redness flaring in his ears and made fun of him for it.

“Call me okay?” He squeezes your hand once more before letting go and walking back to his car. You watch him drive off before heading up to your apartment, leaning against the front door and letting out one big sigh of relief.

“What the hell did I get myself into?”

“If you really want this to work, we have to set a few ground rules.” Hyunjae he pulls out a pen and paper from his bag, immediately writing down a numbered list for you both to fill out.

“Rule one- if one of us wants to stop this thing at any given moment, the contract will end.” Hyunjae says as he writes it down.

“Hmm.. what about rule two- if any of us catch some sort of feelings for one another, the contract is immediately terminated” You add. Hyunjae scoffs at the idea.

“Catch feelings? Seriously?” He looks up at you with a smirk. “Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell me this whole time?” He continues to tease.

“I’m serious! It’s only gonna get complicated for us to execute this plan if feelings are involved. Haven’t you seen the movies?” You ask him.

“Fine, you have a point.” He writes down your suggestion earlier.

“Okay, rule three- kisses are a must if you want this thing to work.” He looks at you in the eyes. “And other things couples do.”

You roll your eyes at him, “Fine, but nothing beyond second base please?” You scrunch your face at the thought.

“Oh?” Hyunjae looks at you with a few twinkles in his eyes. “So does that mean I get to play with your-”

“NO! Not that. Like y’know, just waist touching and maybe the occasional touch of the ass. But definitely and absolutely no touching my chest whatsoever.” You point your finger at him. “I'm serious.”

“Alright alright!” Hyunjae raises his hands up in defense. “Anything else you wanna add?”

“Let me see the list again.” You grab the paper from his hands, carefully examining the words written before nodding.

“This looks good. Yeah, I’m fine with this.” You hand the paper back to Hyunjae.

“It’s a deal.” He says as you both shake on it before getting up to part ways.

Before you have a chance to take a step towards where your class is, Hyunjae pulls you into his chest and leaves a kiss on your lips, making you squeal in surprise.

“Sit with me during lunch. We start this today, okay?” Hyunjae reminds you. You nod your head before shyly giving him a kiss on his cheek and walking away to head to your first class of the day.

Sangyeon could not keep his eyes off you during study period. It had been this way every time you happen to be in the same room as him. You looked beautiful as ever of course but he could feel his blood pressure shooting up every time he would be near you.

Ever since that night he saw you kissing Hyunjae almost two weeks ago, it was like the two of you were everywhere.

He hated the way Hyunjae would always whisper something in your ear and you would laugh at whatever he said. Or the way his hand would find purchase on your lower back. And not to mention the way he would brush any loose hair behind your ear before kissing you goodbye.

It should’ve been him. He should've been the one doing all these things to you. He should've been the guy leaving you all those loving kisses, holding you by your waist, reminding you of how beautiful you look every single chance he got.

If only he was honest with you that night.

Sangyeon’s internal monologuing was cut short when he sees you getting up from your seat and patting Hyunjae on the shoulder before making your way between the bookshelves in the library.

As you slowly search for the book you need for your English paper, your shoulder bumps into a semi hard surface. “Oh! I’m so so-” you whisper but stop mid sentence as the familiar scent of cologne hits your nose.

“Hey….” Sangyeon whispers.

“Uh- Hi.” You back away from him a bit as an awkward silence falls between you two.

“How are things going? We haven’t talked in a while.” He fiddles with his own fingers, trying to think of the next words to say to you.

“Good I guess? Just trying to make it through the semester and stay motivated.” You respond.

“Sure looks like it-” Sangyeon mumbles. But you clearly hear him and scoff at his rudeness.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms against your chest.

“Seriously… Hyunjae? Why him?” He loudly whispers. “You’re better than that.”

“Yeah?” You step a little closer to Sangyeon, closing the gap between you two.

“Well where the fuck have you been huh? Where were you when I needed you?” You match the level of his tone.

“You don’t understand-”

“Then explain it to me then Sangyeon! I’m listening.”

He tries to speak but nothing comes out, panicking that this might be the last chance he could get to explain why he’s been so distant.

“I-uh” His eyes look everywhere else except you.

“Nothing? Thought so.” You push past him, making sure to harshly nudge your shoulder against his.

Sangyeon tries to follow you, but as soon as he steps out between the bookshelves he sees you head out of the library while Hyunjae scrambles to grab all your things from the table and chases after you. He sighs out of frustration combing his hair as he mentally curses at himself.

Oh he really fucked things up didn’t he?

“And he had the nerve, THE NERVE to tell me I know better. I can’t believe him!” You pace back and forth in your bedroom as you rant to Hyunjae about the events that took place in the library

“I honestly don’t know if I should feel offended or flattered at his little comment about me.” Hyunjae’s eyes follow you as you continue to move around.

“Think about it this way, at least we know the plan is working. Otherwise he wouldn’t have approached you like that.”

“Maybe? Ugh! Why are men so dumb?” You sigh.

“We think with our dicks that’s why. Well… maybe that’s just me.” He smirks, trying to crack a joke to break the tension. His little joke becomes successful when you look back at him and chuckle.

“Forget about him,” Hyunjae adds. “Tonight we drink to celebrate passing yet another exam and watch movies til we fall asleep or you decide to kick me out. Whichever comes first.”

He pours a full glass of wine for each of you as you plop down beside him and get cozy.

“Fine, but I’m picking the movie okay?” You tell him as you open your laptop and search for your favorite comfort movie.

Hours pass, almost three bottles of wine finished, and the movie long forgotten as you decide to chat with each other about anything and everything instead. It’s been nothing but laughs and mocking each other as you reminisce all the times you pissed each other off and funny stories of one another.

“Oh the look on your face was fucking priceless-” You laugh out loud, trying to catch your breath as you recall one embarrassing moment of Hyunjae.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do then huh? Tell the professor I was getting a handjob under the table during his class?” His voice raises in defense. “Not my fault she couldn’t resist me.”

“You looked so mortified too holy shit-” You laugh.

“I was nearing a fucking orgasm okay? Then he calls me to the front of the class to write down my answer for the stupid formula. That professor practically edged me!” His cheeks starting to turn even more red as you continue to laugh at him.

“Ow it hurts, wait-” You clutch your stomach from the pain of laughing too much.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see how you like it then-” Hyunjae lunges forward, pulling your arms away to tickle you furiously.

You squeal out his name, trying to push him away while he tackles you. As you try to squirm out of his grip, you don’t even realize the position you’ve gotten yourselves into. Your body caged under his as he grabs your wrists and pins them down at each side of your head.

As the laughter starts to die down, Hyunjae looks down at you with heavy eyelids. You look incredibly pretty under him in this moment, he thinks to himself.

You didn’t even do anything in that moment but it was like he felt so drawn to you. Like you were a siren pulling him in. Your breath hitches as he leans down closer to your face, briefly stopping to search for any sign of consent before fully pressing his lips against yours.

This obviously is not the first time you two have kissed. But for some reason, this kiss felt different than all the other ones. You both kiss each other slowly, lips molding like a perfect dance as his hands let go of your wrist and hold you by your waist instead.

And just like the first time you kissed, you find yourself automatically wrapping your arms around him and running your fingers through his hair, pulling his body closer to yours as kisses travel down from your jaw to the most sensitive part of your neck.

You feel your core blooming in heat as his tongue expertly swirls inside your mouth. How it pulsates for him as you feel his hands go under your shirt, stopping right under your breasts.

You suddenly gasp as his hands start fondling your bra covered chest, gently kneading them as he continues to leave small marks on your sensitive skin with his lips.

A choked moan comes out as you feel his manhood throb against your core, reminding you of the thin layers of clothing, your thin pajama shorts and his sweatpants that stand between you two from crossing any lines.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You try to slowly push him off. His head pulls away to look at your face.

“Oh shit. I’m- fuck sorry no chest stuff-” You see the panic look in his eyes. But before he’s able to pull away, you grab him by the wrists and press his hands deeper into your chest.

A deep groan comes out of his mouth as he squeezes your breasts again, feeling your sensitive buds slowly hardening under your bra.

“No it’s not that. I-” You close your eyes for a moment before swallowing the lump in your throat. You feel your cheeks become warm at what you’re about to confess to him.

"I've never done stuff like this before..." you nervously say.

It takes a few seconds for your words to sink in before Hyunjae looks back at you with widened eyes.

“Oh uh- are you sure? We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything more-” He caresses your cheek.

“The thing is…” You pause to slowly swipe your thumb on his lower lip. “I want to-”

You look up at him with the most innocent looking eyes and Hyunjae swears to himself that he’s never seen anyone look at him the way you do. Like he had hung the moon for you. Hyunjae softly smiles at you before leaning to kiss you once again,

"Then sit tight baby… Because I'm about to rock your world."

298 notes · View notes

jackfrostsisterssisterinlaw · 3 months

Text

MHA random guys x Y/N

I am so sorry to the person who requested this over a year ago, I suddenly disappeared and forgot requests were a thing when I got back. This one’s a little rushed because I’m having exams these days but I’ve made you wait over a year so I had to get it done.

The random guys include Deku, Bakugou, Monoma, Shinso and Amajiki.

word count : 987

Warning : IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT AMAJIKI 🤬 I’ve got my eye on you.

as usual can’t take any credit for the pictures.

Deku

Let’s be honest you probably don’t deserve him. No matter how much you do for him he’s going to somehow be doing more for you. It’s not that he treats love as a competition, it’s just that it’s in his nature to put his two hundred percent to everything and that includes his relationship. And if he chose you as the one that’s really something. He loves just staring at you and absorbing every single detail. He notices the smallest change in your appearance and can always tell when you’re feeling down. He hates it when you don’t communicate and share your pain and eventually manages to get it out of you by playing the victim. Try to give back at least 50% of what he’s doing for you because that would be a normal person’s 100%. He’s very possessive although he doesn’t tell you directly. He’s going to be super grumpy if you hang out with other people more than you spend time with him. Also here’s a secret. He loves it when you ruffle his hair and give him forehead kisses so keep doing what you’re doing :)

Bakugou

I don’t know how you did it. HOW DO YOU PUT UP WITH THE GUY? He appreciates you for it more than you know. He knows about his anger issues and how his inconsistency can make him a difficult person to love, but when he saw you loving him unconditionally and always being there, he realized what a difference that made in his life. It hurts his pride to tell you his problems and he finds it far easier to just burn the furniture but he really tries. He hasn’t been burning much furniture lately right? He’s opening up to you more and more every day and wants to become the same cushion for you. He wants you to be able to trust him as much as he trusts you. If another person looks at you for a second too long or makes you laugh, he is going to be jealous as hell. Trust me the moment he drops you home after a date or is out of your sight, he is going to track them down and give them the scariest warning in their life. It’ll be so scary they’ll refuse to see anyone in a romantic way anymore incase there are more bastards like Bakugou. He loves it when you try to be rough with him and that one time you pinned him against the wall..yeah I think he wants you to do it again.

Monoma

If you’re with Monoma that speaks a lot about you too. Because from a surface level I don’t think anyone can stand Monoma. He looks like he’s arrogant and obnoxious and gloats thinking he’s above everyone. His slicked hair and the way he sneers like he knows he’s good looking. There’s a lot of things to dislike. But you chose to stay and dug deeper. You were able to see the insecurities he tries to mask with his persona and the internal bruises he covers beneath his tuxedo. He adores you for knowing him so well and relies on you a lot. It’s sometimes hard for him because he hates depending on someone but you always comfort him and tell him that you’ve found your calling. He kisses you then, multiple times all around your face finally ending at your lips. Verbal affirmations aren’t really his thing because somehow stuff he says still comes out as self absorbed and arrogant. But with you by his side he’s improving every day. He gets really irritated when people hang around you but he tries to convince himself that you’ll be loyal and he doesn’t have to worry. He’s not stupid he hears what everyone says about how you could do better. But you chose him in the end and that’s what’s important.

Shinso

You like the silent mysterious type don’t you? Absolutely nothing wrong with that because he is a total green flag. To be honest I don’t think he knows exactly how to be romantic and sometimes his gestures of love can be a little weird. Like sometimes when he sees you in a crowd even if you smile and wave he’s just gonna stand there looking at you with no expression. He forgets he has a mouth and eyes that can be used to express one’s emotions. He also has no understanding of social cues so please bear with him. Also I’m sorry that your pickup lines hit a blank wall. Except that one time you made a star-wars pickup line and said yoda only one for me. You fell even harder for him when you realized he was a geek too and he fell harder because he finally understood all the nonsense you were yapping about and meant them romantically. Bear with him, I know he sucks at showing it but he really likes you. Have you seen the way he grits his teeth and glares if someone so much as looks at you. You like him being possessive don’t you? He loves it when you have deep conversations with him and he’ll listen to you talking endlessly.

Amajiki

LOOK AT MY POOKIE MWAH

I’m sorry but Amajiki is mine. Go find your own cinnamon roll. I’m gate keeping all his character traits and love languages. I’ll just word drop so that you get jealous.

He’s super depressed and moody if I leave him and talk to someone else.

The moment he sees me in a crowded room, he walks up to me and attaches himself to me and eventually convinces me to leave so that we can hang out together.

He’s biggest fear is actually losing me, he doesn’t mean that as a joke.

He loves it when I cuddle him and tell him how much I love him.

Which I do on a regular basis so back off. :3

163 notes · View notes

svmjaeyvn · 2 months

Text

love maze, s.jy.

chapter six pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: tbd (series)

masterlist

add yourself to the taglist here!

genre: college!au, mutual friends, fake dating, smut.

synopsis: an unfortunate encounter, drunken mistakes, and a sort of (definitely) stalker leads jake sim ‘dating’ his best friend’s childhood crush.

or, your life gets intertwined with a rich boy’s in attempt to not get sued by his crazy personal fangirl and like with all good cliches, sex overcomplicates things.

contents: smut, sort of strangers to fuck buddies to lovers pipeline, childhood best friend!jay, mentions of best friend! yunjin, curly haired & mixed reader, uni!au, rich nepo baby!jake, enha frat boys, lots of kissing, fake dating turning into fwb real quick, totally way too into it for it to be fake early on, big booty reader that’s jake’s obsessed with, partying and alcohol use, slight violence, he fell first and harder trope, stem bf & writer gf, (kinda overly) possessive jake, some angst to spice things up, daddy issues, hyper independent reader who struggles with her feelings, fluff and happy ending!!

a/n: hello~ i’ve never been a tumblr girly but i have went through my w*ttpad era back in 2018 so bare with me y’all. this will be a series but not that long (i hope) so pls look forward to it. warning tags will be placed before each “chapter” to specify what to expect. pls pls reblog and interact, i’d love to have feedback and see what your thoughts are. okay! yay, for now enjoy and thank you sm :D

MDNI, 18+

tap below to continue

CHAPTER SIX: EXS

previous masterlist next

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, kisses, calling minjun a stalker, protective jay and ni-ki

a/n: not a lot of jake in this one i know but i have to make a plot and conflict yall 😩 adding in bbg riki and some more best friend!jay pls enjoy

"HOW MANY TIMES have I told you to wear the gloves when you do the dishes?" You tsk, delicately wrapping the small gash that ran along Ni-ki's, the newest trainee at your work, hand. He sheepishly smiled, tilting his head in the smallest of ways.

"Sorry noona," He mumbled out, embarrassed by his third time sitting like a kid being scolded due to his clumsiness. "I needed the steaming pitcher so I just reached in the sink and didn't see realize the tongs were so sharp,"

You shake your head with mock disappointment though a small smile perked at your lips nonetheless. With the middle of the semester rolling around, most freshmen had found themselves finding a rhythm with balancing their school lives enough to find a part time job. You've seen numerous come and go, Cho— your generous manager who was the sweetest old lady that ran the cafe, always took them in for at least a short amount of time.

Ni-ki was your favorite thus far, always listening intently (to everything aside from the dishwashing) and picked up the skills relatively fast. Respectful but also comfortable enough to joke around with, the two of you had become a dynamic duo in closing four days out of the week together.

Of course he was still a boy, a young and partially annoying one at that but he reminded you of your younger brother, weaseling his way in having a soft spot in your heart even though it had only been two weeks.

"Okay now we switch, you run the front I'll clean up back here," Satisfied with your makeshift bandaging, you shoo the younger boy along who rolled his eyes but nonetheless disappeared from the back of the house. Cleaning up the medical kit and barely managing to slip on your gloves to handle the load of piling dishes, you noticed his head poke in around the corner.

"Someone would like to talk to you," He hums before disappearing once more, not giving you enough time to determine whether it was a good talk or bad one in having to handle the customers. With a small sigh, you make your way to the front, prepped for the worst but your tension dissolves seeing your bright smiled best friend leaning over the pastry case.

"Off the glass," You warn, making your way to the register where Ni-ki stood with a goofy smile. Jay reluctantly stands himself up straight, pouting seeing as you didn't greet him with the same warmth he was expecting.

"That's not very good customer service, where's ajumma Cho? I'd like to file a complaint," Jay tuts, peering around the store though he knew well enough it was only you and Ni-ki in the building. The younger boy lets out a small snort, used to his antics in the past two weeks of running into each other and forming a budding friendship through their mutual teasing over you.

Rolling your eyes, you lean against the counter expectantly. "What'd you need Jay?"

"I can't just come say hi?" He pouts, seemingly offended by your words while he shakes his head. "I haven't seen you in days teeny, you've been too busy with your boyfriend to give me any attention now,"

"I saw you when we had lunch," You deadpan, finding his dramatics amusing though you knew the mess that occupied the back room needed tending to before you were forced to stay late. "Seriously, I actually have work to do today so I can't talk—"

"I'll help!" Jay volunteers, the same boxy smile on his lips while you shake your head. "What? I've done stuff before! I'm bored and want to hang out, let me help. It'll show me what you broke college students do everyday to survive and stuff,"

"Let rich boy do the dishes," Ni-ki interjects, rolling his eyes at his ladder sentence though it was all in playful manner.

"As long as I get to wear an apron," Jay agrees, pointing a finger at the coffee brown colored uniform piece you had to wear.

It was a temping offer, and he wasn't wrong. Typically you had him clean the menus or refill caramel bottles whenever he wanted to be like a kid and help out but you really did dread washing dishes. With a reluctant sigh, you nodded your head and not even a split second later, Jay had made his way around the counter to the employees side.

"This is exciting," He hums, following you to the back while you reach into the locker cubbies, pulling out one of the spare aprons left just in case anyone needed it. Jay slips it over his head, securing the strings behind his waist while you point toward the far end of the room. His excitement visibly deflates seeing the mountain of items waiting to be cleaned, the cherry on top being the empty dishes Ni-ki waltzed in with a genuine smile of content as he added to it.

"Have fun princess," You laugh, patting his shoulder as you walked by and with some reluctance, Jay made his way to begin without a word of protest much to your surprise. Having far more time to do your tasks, you began with the inventory. Going through the store and marking down the amounts had while Ni-ki continued to clean and restock due to the end of the night approaching, it was peaceful with the younger boy taking hold of the aux to play his own music now opposed to the cafe playlist.

A few minutes passed without any words, finding comfortable silence and both of you working on your own things before the jingle from the front door indicated someone coming inside. "Welcome in," You called out, not bothering to look up from the fridge you were bent down beside while Ni-ki headed for the register to attend the guest.

"Hey," You stiffen at the familiar voice. Pausing in your count, you stare at the half empty milk carton in the fridge, waiting for the person to speak again, praying it wasn't what you thought. "Sorry man, is ___ here?" With a deep sigh, your head falls down. Ni-ki peers to the side, giving you a questionable glance noticing your reaction and unaware of what to respond with.

Sending him a half smile, you stand up properly, exposing your hidden figure behind the counter. You make eye contact with Minjun, void of emotion and placing the fakest of smiles onto your lips as you spoke. "How can I help you?" Decidedly going with the faux customer service route, you place the book down you were previously using to record while his eyes trail over your figure.

"Hi," Was all he spoke, almost hesitant and you had to hold everything in you to not roll your eyes. "You're a manager here now?"

"Yeah stuff changes over a year," You respond dryly, not particularly seeing the point in his attempt in a conversation. Ni-ki lingered, seemingly wiping at the warming station but he listened carefully, aware of how unenthusiastic you seemed and found it best to stay close just in case with how stiff the air seemed. "Something you need from me?"

Minjun opens his mouth only to close it twice over. Not having the proper words to say, he purses his lips. "I've been wanting to see you," Was all he could come up with, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. "Heard you still worked here and figured it'd be the best place to find you,"

"Yunjin told you to leave me alone and that I didn't want to talk," You reiterate, sending him a pointed look while he nods along. "So you came to my place of work knowing I didn't want to see you," Another nod. "Yeah, think that's called stalking,"

Ni-ki stiffens up at your words. "Noona," He mumbles, coming up significantly closer to your side while you shake your head. Ni-ki was tall, significantly more than you and a majority of the male population was shorter than him but he was still a kid. Besides, you didn't need any protection, Minjun wasn't a dangerous guy, just an idiot.

You hold up your hand, silently telling him that everything was fine. Reluctantly, he backed away, though he still lingered and his eyes stayed glued to Minjun who stood on the opposite side of the counter.

"I just wanted to talk," Minjun starts, voice seemingly sincere but you shake your head.

"There's nothing to talk about,"

"No means no dipshit, did you forget kindergarten rules already?" Jays' loud voice interrupted the stiff air, the attention brought to him as he emerged from the back room, a drying towel being throw over his shoulder and his apron slightly damp at the waist. He makes his way beside you, arms folded across his chest and puffing out the muscle and veins that peaked out from his rolled up sleeves. You nearly let out a laugh seeing the tough guy act your best friend pulled, almost wanting to take out your phone and take a picture but you had to admit, Jay was intimidating when he wanted to be.

"Lovely to see you again too Jongseong," Minjun sighs, plastering on a more than fake smile at the man who always expressed his distaste over him even when you were together. "Didn't think you'd be a part-time cafe guy,"

"You gonna order or not?" Jay cuts to the point, his patience thin enough as it was and especially with people he didn't like. You made a mental note to applaud him for being mean for once.

"If I order will you go away so I can talk to ___?"

"She has a boyfriend," Ni-ki interjects, standing beside Jay who nods along. "Plus she doesn't like you, so I can either take your order or you can leave,"

Minjun's eyes flicker to you once more. "A boyfriend," He repeats. "Thought you told Yunjin to tell me that just to get rid of me,"

"Not everything's about you man," Jay rolls his eyes, quick to answer for you. "Being desperate doesn't really work for you,"

"How long?" He ignores Jays jabs, eyes focused on you while you shrug. "Recent right, considering you haven't posted anything about him,"

"You really are a stalker," Ni-ki grimaces, not knowing the full details but hearing enough to make his judgements.

Sending the two behind you pointed looks, silently telling them that you'd handle it, you look back at Minjun with a small sigh. "It's not really any of your business, is it?"

"Well with me you were all about posting stories and making sure I posted you so it's just surprising,"

Narrowing your eyes, you pick at the skin of your nails at your side, something that Jay took note of in your old habits whenever you grew irritated. "Things change. Being with a guy who provides reassurance and treats you well does wonders," You hum, no longer bothering with decorum. "I don't have time to go back and forth with you. If you want to order they'll help you, if not, leave,"

Without giving him time to protest, you made your way to the back of the building ensuring he wouldn't be able to follow. Jay was quick to tag along leaving Ni-ki to fend for himself but knowing the young boy would be fine.

"He's fucking insane," Jay rambles as soon as the two of you were out of sight and behind the door that separated the front from the back. "To think that after all the shit he put you through you'd just, welcome him back? Delusional ass who doesn't know how to take no for an answer apparently—"

You nod along, taking a seat in the plush chair that was tucked away in the corner of the room beside the desk. You stared at the ground, focusing on counting the tile patterns allowing for Jay to ramble as he paced around the room. Taking note of your unusual silence, he stops mid step to look at you, a small sigh leaving his lips seeing how your bottom lip was tucked between your teeth and how you continued to pick at your hands.

Leaning down in front of you, Jay squats as his hands find way to your knees, leaning against you and forcing your line of vision to be filled by him. "You okay teeny?" He asks softly, the look of pity one you remember all too well and not what you wanted.

"I'm fine," You respond. And you were, for the most part. You just couldn't deal with your own emotions and Jay going back to treating you like a fragile piece of glass, it was exhausting enough having him be as attentive as he was in general. "Seriously, I'm fine. He's not worth my time anymore J, I just hope he got the hint and won't come back,"

Jay nods along, giving your knee a small squeeze in reassurance while you click your tongue. The door swings open, Ni-ki poking his head in the frame. "He left," The younger boy reassures, a small smile sent your way. "Am I allowed to ask noona?"

He looked concerned, an expression you had yet to see from Ni-ki and it emphasized just how young he seemed in your eyes with the innocent gleam. Gesturing for him to take a seat, you lean back in the chair while Jay settles himself on the ground. Peering up at the security cameras, ensuring to have a clear view of anyone were to walk in, you begin your story.

"Buckle up kid, you're getting a whole new level of lore from me tonight,"

"THIS IS SUCH bullshit," Jay huffs, eyes focused behind you as he takes a rather large bite of the apple he had been holding for the past ten minutes. "I can't believe he transferred back,"

"You know, it's kind of heartwarming how upset you are for me," You tease, significantly less worked up over the situation although it was less than ideal.

"No I agree, he's a fucking asshole," Yunjin adds, shooting daggers with looks that could kill causing you to raise a brow. "What? I hate him. We're not even really related, my aunt is divorcing his uncle and I only hung out with him cause of her so now it's free range since he's being a weird idiot,"

"Are we talking shit?" Sunoo draws the attention to himself, placing his bag down and smiling brightly as he clasped his hands under his chin. "Who about?" He sing-songs, voice dripping like honey and a grin that seemed so innocent but the content behind it was entirely different.

"Her stalker,"

"Whose stalker?" Heeseung interjects, Sunghoon trailing behind him to join the ever growing table. Jay and Yunjin's fingers immediately point toward you, silently answering his question causing the older boys brows to frown. "What happened now?"

As you opened your mouth to explain, a rather loud one cut you off once again. "Noona!" Ni-ki calls out, voice booming as he made his way toward you with Jungwon leading. Rather obviously pointing in the direction you spoke of, his eyes were wide seeing Minjun on the other end of the plaza with his own group of friends. "What the hell is he doing here?" The youngest asks as they reached the table, now having all curiosity peaked of those out of loop.

"Who?" With the last member of the group joining, Jake smiled widely as he weaseled his way beside you, placing a quick peck to your cheek as he sat.

"Everyone here now so I can talk?" You ask aloud, glancing over the group and doing a quick headcount. Over the past week, with the concept of you and Jake being together, your friend group had merged with his. Well your two friends, one of which you shared already, had joined in with Jake's while Ni-ki had been recently adopted in after finding Jungwon and him shared a general ed class. You had to admit, it was nice having more people to talk to, your life had certainly become more interesting in the best of ways.

"Do tell," Sunoo urges, far too excited to know more as the certified gossip of the group, though he was always the best at giving advice so it was two sides of the same coin.

"My ex transferred back here," You finally say with a small shrug. Jake tensed up from beside you, his brows pinching together as he leaned in closer to listen to your explanation. "He came by my work the other day trying to talk and I told him to get lost and then now he's here,”

"He's weird," Ni-ki adds in, his face pinched with disgust as he shook his head. "Desperate stalker behavior,"

"Who is it?" Sunghoon asked, looking in the general direction Jay pointed in but not particularly locking in on anyone.

"Kang Minjun," Yunjin answered without missing a beat.

Jake lets out a scoff, leaning closer into your side. "He's a fucking prick. Came into class today and wouldn't shut up during the lecture," Taking hold of the unpeeled orange you had left since it seemed like far too much work at the time, he peeled the skin off without a word, holding out the first piece to you before popping one into his mouth. "Professor Choi loved it, annoying as fuck when most of us just come since attendance is mandatory even though it's a gen-ed class,"

"We're the same year, he had always been popular," Heeseung shrugged. "Definitely annoying considering he used his looks for basically everything and acted cocky all the time,"

"The pretty one?" Sunoo asks, glancing around while he gained a few pointed looks for the comment. "What? My bad I've never seen him before," He pouts, hands up to show his lack of defense.

"Stalker," Ni-ki reminds, entirely ambient on making it knowing for everyone how uncomfortable he was to be around. "Doesn't matter what he looks like, he's still a weirdo,"

Jungwon lets out a small snort at his comments while Heeseung suddenly changes the subject. The conversation topic switching over to plans of a staycation in the near future while Jake absentmindedly holds out the last slice of orange for you to take.

“He comes over here and I’m throwing this apple at his head,” Jay warns, holding up the partially bitten fruit causing you to grimace.

“I don’t think he’s that dumb,” Sunghoon snickers. “And that’s gross, you can see all your teeth marks,”

“Who cares?” Jay retorts, beginning to bicker as the two change the topic for the second time in a near minute. Everyone else following along, paying no mind and rather comfortable in one another’s company.

You felt Jake’s arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you closer to his side as he leans down to your ear. “You alright?” He mumbles, breath fanning against your skin causing you to shiver but nonetheless nod along.

You pull away slightly, enough to see his face while a small smile peaked at the corners of your lips. You had to admit, it wasn’t ideal and made you exhausted having to deal with your past. You put on a brave face, one enough for the others but for some reason, Jake could see through it more than you knew.

He let out a small sigh, a lingering kiss placed to the crown of your head as he did so. “You’re alright,” Jake spoke, the words intended to reassure you, fully certain of it for your sake and that seemed to be more than enough to help your nerves for the time being.

Letting out a puff of air, you allow yourself to melt into his side, settling in comfortably as your head tucked itself below his chin, leaned into his chest and arms caged around you for extra support. Your attention was brought back to the rest of your friends, eyes meeting with Yunjin who sat with an amused expression being one of the ones who knew everything while Heeseung had his nose scrunched up with disgust.

“I hate couples,”

my tags!! @slutforsjy @jaklvbub @whowantshota @addictedtohobi @coolwitu @simjyunnie @kgneptun @graythecoffeebean @143ikeu @zyvlxqht @tesywesy @nxzz-skz @aishisgrey @missmischief1408

( pls make sure your settings make you applicable to tag )

#enhypen #enhypen jake #jaeyun x reader #jake sim #sim jaeyun #enha x reader #jaeyun smut #jake x reader #enha #enhypen jake smut #jake enhypen #enhypen smut

129 notes · View notes

nescaveckwriter · 12 days

Text

Lighthouse

A/N: 🐞... Okayz my dearest love bugs, 💕 another one done for @jacklesversebingo 🥰 yayaness, I know its been a while though, But I hope y'all are gonna enjoy this one, I must say I'm super proud and, a little terrified as this is 'Supernatural' based 🫣🤭, so let me know what y'all think.🥰 Okayz much love🥰❤️🩷

Warnings: *18+ Only* Horror, Thriller, Mentions of blood, violence, angsty, little fluff, heartbreaking, drama.

Line: Tree, Clock, Rope

Characters: Dean x Fem Reader, Sam, Benny, Cas, Crowley

Words: 6700 😱🫣 I know I'm sorry.

Cover & Pictures: Pinterest, Canva, Google

Side Note: Please check out my Masterlist for more, epic stories🐞💕

The sky has turned into grey, dark clouds threatening too cover the earth with its darkness, the smell of rain is everywhere as it nourishes the earth, as you stand under the pouring rain, listening too him say, goodbye, letting the rain mix with the tears on your cheeks. Not being able too move a muscle, you just stood there unable to make a single sound, unable to ask him why, why after this long, did he want to break up with you, did he want to throw away the life you built. Weren't you enough for him no more,? Is there someone else? Why Now?

The way he said goodbye wasn't with a voice filled with anger, no, his emerald green eyes was sad, his voice almost breaking when he said "I need too let you go sweetheart" and his lips found yours instinctively, it was a soft, kiss, mixed with the taste of him, salt and rain. You didn't want him too leave, you wanted to grab ahold of him, and beg him too stay, but before you could, he got in that Chevy Impala, the engine roared and the tires screeched, as he drove off into the darkness, not a single star in the sky, its almost as if the magic of the moonlight left with him.

Its been a little over three months since he left you standing in the rain, like some dumb country song, but you somehow found a way too move through your everyday life, you were a hunter before you met Dean, and you still are, well in all honesty saving people is the only thing that got you through the days.

It isn't really a job you tell everyone about, oh heck no!, its more a work you keep too yourself, letting your family believe, your just a traveling failure, well you always did kind of feel like you lost your way over the years, but these days your numb. Your best friend Sam doesn't even talk too you anymore, you don't really have a lot of folks who you could call, and say "hey, ya know I'm not really doing well, I need a pick me up or a damn hug" no you always kept too yourself, not trusting anyone, but the day you met Dean and Sam on a hunt it changed.! Sam quickly became your best friend and well Dean soon became the only man you'll ever love, even though he had his issues. And then there was Castiel the angel, he has always felt like a beacon of hope, making you laugh with his "I don't understand that reference" sayings. But the day Dean walked out they all left, leaving you completely alone in this damn scary world. It's not the monsters that scares you, no that you get, but it's the people. Every single person you have met in your life has a hidden agenda, why can't they just be good people.

Sitting at the diner in the small town, were you were investigating strange disappearances, ordering a black coffee, the display with the different pies catching your eye. Your mind wanders off to Dean's birthday... You prepared all his favorite foods, burgers, bacon, fries, the greaser the better, and then you started with the making of his favorite pies. But somewhere along the way you forgot about the pie's in the oven, letting them burn to a crisp, after you rushed in, trying to save what's left of the charred goods, seeing it was disaster, you wouldn't be able to save it, you burst into tears, cussing yourself for messing up what's supposed to be the perfect day, you felt his strong arms pulling you towards his chest, staining his shirt with the wetness of your cheeks. He's breathe hot as he kissed you, in a loving, comforting way, reassuring you everything will be okay, it's just pie's not the end off the world.

He always did know how too comfort you, how too chase the darkness away, he was your lighthouse, so to say, showing you the way, back too the light. And now, now there's no more light too go home. No more home, just nothing.

Taking a sip of the now cold bitter coffee, that kind of taste like, old shoes, not that you'll know how that would taste like, but betting its something like this. Placing the cup down, sliding the dollar's underneath the half full cup on the diner table, you get up, throwing your ball cap on, hair hanging loose on your shoulders, taking your leather jacket and phone, you start too head out of the small town diner. Walking towards your Harley Davidson, you've always liked the way, that bunch of metal, felt roaring as you sat on that leather seat, the wind rushing through your hair, the way those gas fumes, flowed through your veins, not even to talk about the adrenaline that went with it, oh damn, you felt about your Harley like Dean felt about his impala. Seeing a giant creep checking out your bike, leaning on it, irritation in your voice "excuse, what are you doing?"

His voice rough and unpleasant "why do you care, little missy"

Walking closer, your eyes darker than usual "that's my bike"

The bald man, with his long beard, hiding his tatted neck, started to laugh "No way such a small little thing can handle that sort of horse power"

"I'm only going to ask you nicely one more time, get off my damn bike!"

Crossing his arms in front of him, "Or what? You gonna call the little cops"

"No! I'm going to make you get off my bike"

"I'd like to see you try missy"

She really wasn't in the mood for this. So she tried to shove him off, but he was on the larger side and didn't really move a single damn inch. It just made him irritated "hey come here missy" he said as he grabbed a hold of your arm, you smiled, that made him look at you all confused, but he soon realized, he should not have messed with you, as you took his fingers, and started bending them backwards, bringing the big guy down to your size. With your free hand, you punched the sucker in the face. Got up on your bike, and drove down the road too the nearest bar you could find, for information and while you where there you might as well get something to drink.

The Black Chevy Impala roared as it parked in front of the diner, Dean and Sam got out, a big guy, with a black eye, just got off the ground as they started making their way towards the door, Dean looked at the guy a smirk on his face "What happened to you buddy?"

The man mumbled "crazy biker chick"

Dean just laughed, as he figured this chick was probably part of his gang, as the beaten up guy had a biker jacket with their logo on. He still smiled but he felt stabbing pains in his heart. His sweetheart was a 'biker chick' a swell, she could handle that roaring horsepower better than most men, and man!, was she tough, so fierce and fiery, so passionate and yet so gentle, vulnerable at times, so fragile, she cared more than most, people, and beautiful, so freaking beautiful, her smile could light up a room, he fell hard for her the first time he saw her, and it just grew from there he loved her , he still loved her, but he just had too walk away, for her own safety, everyone close too him get hurt or dies. And especially with everything going on, he couldn't risk it, if someone found out, that she wasn't just another hunter, no she was the love of his life, he'd never forgive himself if something would happen too her. Sam calling his name for the fourth time pulled him out of his deep thoughts, "Hey man, you with me?"

"Yeah, yeah, just thinking I need a drink not coffee"

Sam gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing his brother probably thought of her again, he just nods and says "okay sure let's go"

The only information she got was that, some of the missing folks were last seen close too a pig farm , on the outskirts of this town.

And now, now she just sat here swallowing the vodka, it was easier than too think that Dean aren't coming back, hating how she felt , how alone and miserable, how heartbroken, she really thought that she was stronger than this, but no, she's weak and pathetic, sobbing about a man, a damn man who left her in the pouring rain. What the hell was wrong with her, she never was the kind, to be good little wife material, who would cook for her husband and bake brownies for her children's school, but the sad truth was she wanted too be all that with Dean, she would've gave up hunting, too be his wife and the mother of his children. But clearly he didn't feel the same. Thumbing away a stray tear, she gestures to the bartender , for another. The music was loud and the alcohol made her slightly lightheaded, she knew she needed some air, sliding off the barstool, walking towards the exit, fumbling in her pockets for a packet of cigarettes, she only smokes when she drinks. Some guy, lit her cigarette, she just nods, thanking him with a smile as she stood in the crisp evening air, the air mixed with nicotine hit her lungs, letting a little cough escapes her lips. As she blows out the smoke, she heard that damn Chevy pull in, she couldn't miss it , Dean had a certain way if driving and it was him for sure. She just stood there, frozen in the darkness. "What the hell is he doing here" whispering underneath her breath. Hoping that he doesn't see her, knowing that she will burst out in tears the moment she tried to speak too him.

He wales past a couple of bikes, that's when he saw it, her bike, hard too miss it, on the rear bumper the lyrics of her favorite Bon Jovi song. He elbows his brother "Sam, she's here"

Sam looked at him shocked, "What? Are you sure"

Running his hand over his face "Of course I'm damn sure" clearing his throat "I can't see her, man, I just can't, I've missed her so much, it was hard enough too walk away from her that night, I won't be able to do it again"

Sam places his hand on his big brother shoulder "Don't you think, this whole protection thing your trying is dumb"

Dean's jaw clenched, "No, Everybody around me dies, and there's nothing I can do about it, I have to let her go"

Sam just shook his head, his known his brother felt like this for a while now, but it's gotten worse, his unsure why, but he will try and get through too him, Dean's only been happy, whenever he was with her. "Okay let's go"

Dean and Sam made their way towards the car, they're about to get in when they heard a spine chilling scream , Dean recognized her voice. He searches in the darkness, when he catches a glimpse of four men, throwing her in a black van. He didn't even realized it but he started running towards the van, as the last of them jumped in, he saw a glimpse of her, the last thing he heard, was her screaming his name and a gun shot, which brought him to a stop as he fell to the ground, chanting her name over and over, until his eyes fell closed.

Sam fired his gun towards the van, but couldn't get decent shots from that angle. He fell to his knees next to his brother, glancing at the bullet wound in his chest, the blood gushing out, he applied pressure on the wound, he could feel the life draining from his brother as he begged Castiel to come. Sam's eyes damp with tears, his heart pounding in his throat, a silent scream escaping his lip "Cas, please man, I need you Dean need's you"

You could hear the flutter of wings, when the celestial being landed, his face struck with concern "What happened?"

Sam glanced at the man in the trench coat, holding his brother in arms, "please, just help him Cas"

The angel approached his best friend, there was nothing quite as bad, as seeing him, in pain, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder and Sam's, the three men found themselves in a motel, Dean was still unconscious but breathing, Sam glanced at the angel, mouthing a "thank you"

Traces of the tears still evident on her cheeks as she recalled Dean getting shot, he was there, running towards her, he stilled cared. The four men watched her like a hawk, she cradled her legs in the corner, as if she's a animal trying too hide herself from the prey.

The van came to a stop, she knew something had to be done, so she took the knife she hid in her boots, covered it in her hand, she knew taking all four men was asking to much, so she'll have to isolate them. Take them one by one. The men double, maybe triple her size, but she aren't going down this way, without a fight.

As the two men , opened the door, she saw what looked like a barn, there where cages, with other people inside, seeing she's not the only one that needed saving, she slid the knife back in her boot. She needed more information than this, so she went with it. The man held her by her hair, threw her into a cage which had two other girls probably about round about 16 and 18, and much older man, in his late 60's maybe. Hitting the the floor, scraping her palms.

The older man helped her up, "you okay?"

"Yeah thanks never been better" the sarcasm rolled over her pressed lips.

A big guy, came standing against the cage, with a stupid smug on his round face. "When Ricky there told me about this little woman, who punched him, just for leaning against her bike, I knew I had too throw you in the ring"

She got to a standing position, striding closer, too this gigantic man, "What are you? A human trafficker , organ? What"

He laughed "None of the above, just a business man," he started walking away.

"What is he talking about?" Her eyes intensified "Does anyone know why we are here?"

She heard a man's voice coming from another cage, he was beaten pretty bad, "We are here too fight against each other, like the movie Condemned, apparently it happens in really life" he let out a defeated laugh. The whole barn filled with chatter, people gasping for air, as the initial shock took over. Those who haven't seen the movie, quickly got enlighten by those who have, the rich of the rich, places bets on the person, who they think will survive and it gets streamed on the dark web for everyone to watch.

There's a clock with a timer and the one who have killed all the other 'players' in that amount of time, gets to live another round. Some just cried, the others just quietly, sat in the corners of their cages, holding on too their knees, as if that's going to help, everywhere in that barn there's cages filled with silence and then those with chatter.

Then in the cage she's in, the two young teenage girls just hold on too each other, clinging for dear Life. The grey old guy, just kept mumbling too himself, "I can't kill these people" over and over.

Probably not the most polite thing in this situation but damn, it worked on her nerves, she's trying think of a solution, a plan something to save these people. But she was all out of ideas, to be honest, except maybe one, her back was against the cage, she silently started to talk to Cas, asking him to come and find her, but nothing, he didn't hear or he didn't want too, either way it was up too her.

Glancing down at the ground, then her leather boots she remembered the knife, she could use that too unlock the cage door, then start freeing the others, she took the last bit of hope in her hand, starting to put the blade in, turning and wiggling it, until she heard the click sound, she was overjoyed, she slowly opened the screeching steel door, every noise sounded as loud as thunder.

She could see the different keys, close to the barn entrance, almost walking on the balls of her feet, so that she didn't make a single sound, reaching for the keys, her fingertips barely touching it, she jumped into the air, grabbing ahold if it, she started making her way towards the first cage. Searching for the key that fits, the barn doors flung open, she recognized the guy, Ricky from earlier, and some other dude, who made her skin crawl , "Hey how'd you get out?" Ricky shouted.

"What you can see me?" She joked, something she always did, when she was very nervous.

The other guy ran to her, but she kicked him before he even could touch her, she still had the knife in hand, this big fella didn't say, much, he charged towards her, when that silver blade touched his arm, it made him squirm, "Oh that's just freaking lovely, what are you, a vamp? A wolfie?" She sneered

The moment he showed his, teeth she knew it was a werewolf, the other folks in the cages screamed, as they never saw such a creature.

"So this games rigged? Normal human being and creatures from the night, joining the game"

Surprised the wolf looked at her , a growl "your a hunter?"

Mischievous smile on her lips "why would you say that?" The wolf growled once again, as he charged towards your position, clawing your back, as he flung you against a cage, everything is swimming before her eyes, all you could make out was that she was flung against the beaten up man, he had the bluest eyes, which kind of reminded her about Castiel's eyes.

The wolf like creature came closer, looking for your blood, that's when the man stood up, black coat drenched in blood, unsure if it was his own, or some of the creature's his killed, the last time, his blue orbs, illuminated, bloodshot veins stretched like a roadmap in his eyes , his fangs came out revealing that his a vampire.

Laying there, you where left at the mercy of these two, but you were surprised when the vamp, took ahold of the wolf, smashing his head against the bars, he had this deep old time southern voice "leave her alone"

The man, glared at her and the vamp, picking her up, letting her sway like a sack of potatoes in the air. Ricky quickly came to open the cage, throwing her in by the vampire, "You can have her".

Knowing the open wounds made the situation worse, as it was like a magnet for the vamp, she tried too get up, too defend herself but, in that moment she was too weak.

The vamp, came closer towards her, his features returned to those of a man, his voice kind "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm Benny"

Shocked "Benny, like in Benny Lafitte? Dean's friend?"

He smiled, "I thought I recognized you, saw you once on his lock screen, asked him about this new women in his life, he told me you are the love of his life"

Smirking, "Yeah that's awhile ago I guess"

Confusion written all over his face, but before he could ask, the barn filled with gas, hearing Benny say "its to knock us out so they can take us to the next location" before you could find out more, the knock out gas started taking its toll.

His eyes flutter open, Sam and Cas both sharing the same concerned facial expressions, his voice croaky "what did something happen? Is.." struggling to form the words "is she gone?"

Sam spoke quickly, trying to reassure his big brother "No! We don't know, Cas can't pick up her location"

Cas spoke "Wherever she's at, must be warded off with sigils"

Dean groaned when he sat up, "we have to save her, I can't loose her"

The three of them turned their heads when they heard the familiar phrase from Crowley "Hello Boys"

Dean immediately got up, pointing a finger at him, "Do you have something to do with her disappearance, tell me now!"

Crowley gave him a sympathetic look, that lasted about an second "Squirrel I had nothing to do with her, but I know where you can find her"

Dean could not control the anger that intensified in his chest, he smashed Crowley against the nearest wall, his arm pressing against his throat his forest green eyes pierced the black ones, his voice low, and stern "Crowley if your messing with me, I will kill you, I swear I'll kill"

With the flick of Crowley's fingers Dean flew across the room, he shouts, this whole situation clearly upsetting him as well. "She saved my damn life, why would I want something to happen to her, she cared enough to save me, ME!!!" Crowley shouted.

Sam hurried to help Dean up, recalling the saving Crowley is talking about, he was stuck in a devils trap, bounded with chains around his hands and neck, as some other hunter took out all his anger on Crowley, stabbing him over and over, when she came in, tried talking the man down, but he didn't see any reason as he thought Crowley was to blame for the death of his family, but he wasn't, he had nothing to do with it. As she was talking to this guy, she slowly started to scratch the round red chalked circle on the floor with the heel of her boots, so that Crowley can break free, the line was finally broken, by clicking his fingers the chains shook loose and fell into a thousand pieces, the other hunter saw what she did, ran towards her, pushed the blade right through her upper torso. That's when Dean and Sam ran into, her for the first time, they where hunting the hunter who they thought was possessed but turns out he had such an amount of rage inside him, that whom ever got in his way, he'd kill.

Dean's harsh voice pulled Sam out of his thoughts, "Where is she Crowley"

"Well not only her , but other people as well, even Werewolves and vampires, you named it they have it, I know the location, but we have to go now," he clears his throat, "there's only one snag, neither can I nor Cass get in their, the damn sigils on the barns wall, wont let us through"

Dean's already halfway across the room, towards the door, "what are we waiting for"

In a matter of seconds the four of them stood In front of the barn on the pig farm, Sam is busy discussing a plan of action but Dean, already pushed the barn doors open, "what the hell Dean" the loudness in Sam's voice makes Dean face him, but he just shakes him off, not answering, too determined to safe her, he walks in, gun in hand, ready for anything, everywhere you look, all the cage doors stands open, not a single trace of anyone, something glistening on the floor catches his eye, its a rose gold chain with a heart shaped locket, he didn't need to turn it around, to see the engraved 'love you always D.W' to know its hers, he opens it anyways, glaring at the picture, both off them laughing, the way they looked at each other, you could feel the electricity, the love they shared, he folds it closed in his fisted hand, his eyes damp with emotion. He runs outside, punches Crowley straight in the face. Cas takes ahold of Dean's arm's demanding him to stop. The defeated look on his face is too much too bare for the three men looking at Dean, disappointed and unsure where to look next they start looking around the farm for clues, for something that can give him a glimpse of hope.

The strong sunrays, burning her eyes, as she opens them, the pain from last night's fight, let's her realize what's happening, she tries too move, but can't, searching for the reason, she sees the rope wrapped around her arms, and waist, too a tree, she tries too wiggle, to get out off the tight grip, that's when she hears a ticking of a clock tick-tock, tick-tock, it sounded incredibly loud, looking up to where the sounds came from, seeing giant speakers blaring the sound of a clock. A rough unpleasant voice spoke, game rules: "Everything goes, you can use any weapon you can find, to kill your opponent, and also remember the last one standing gets too live" he lets out a snotty laugh. "Oh yes, and contestants, we made the first kill very easy, if you can find contestant five, she's tied up and ready to kill, oh and give us a show" he laughs harder, then all of the sudden its dead silence, figuring she's contestant no: five, she'd better think of something to get out if this situation. Her words barely a whisper, "I don't even know why I try, but Cas are you there, Crowley, can someone hear me? Please I need someone"

The rustling of the leaves, let's her know there's someone, maybe it's Cas or Crowley, maybe its someone's who wants to take her as their first kill.

The large man with his black coat walks towards her.

He's voice hushed, "let me get you outta here"

"Oh darn, I'm so thankful its you Benny"

As he unties her, they hear rustling in the bushes, he hands her a knife, and they stand ready for action, back against back, three people came closer, it's the three she shared the cage with, she and Benny suggested they walk behind them, so that the two of them can protect them.

The further they walk the more danger they seem too run into, Benny takes the most werewolves, windigos and Leviathan's , as for you, you take most of the other human beings, who wants to attack the two teenage girls and old man.

You are bruised, beaten and torn up, unsure if your body is covered in your own blood or those of the enemies, you keep on going, grateful, that you had these people to protect, because if you had to be honest, if it weren't for them, you wouldn't fight so hard to survive, every now and then you get flashbacks of how Dean got shot, knowing it was fatal, you don't want to allow yourself to think that he could be really gone, there's this glimmer of hope that he might still be alive, maybe Sam helped him, maybe Cas or Crowley.

Resting against a tree to catch your breath, you see the blood gushing down your arm, one of the men came at you with a damn axe, and in the fight he threw the axe towards you, pinning you against a tree, it must've been the adrenaline but you wiggled that axe, out of you arm, screaming while throwing it back at him, which ended up between his eyes. You fell too your knees, the emotion welling up behind your eyes, you get caught off guard when someone or something picks you up in the air. A little weak, and confused all you can see is that your draped over the large man, with multiple tattoos shoulder, it didn't take long, too lose consciousness.

Dean could not believe what he just heard, both Cas and Crowley told him, that they heard you call out too them, they knew where you were, you where caught in Purgatory, damn Purgatory. What the hell is going on. It felt like someone took his very last breath. His been too Purgatory, It's no joke for sure, it changed him, the only person who made him whole was her, his sweetheart and now, now she's going through all of that.

Crowley spoke with his people, which revealed, that the one and only Dick Roman sits behind it all, with a connection in the real world, who takes normal people, of all ages just to make money, and feed his obsession of killing people.

His quiet, as he drives too the place where the portal opens to Purgatory, thinking about all the things there, so many monsters, dangers around every corner. He just hopes, his going to make it in time, she just has too be okay, has to be alive, squinting his eyes as he recalls what he had too do, too survive.

"Sweetheart you awake?" Rolling over too the right side of the bed, emerald green eyes looking back at you, "Baby?"

"Why do you look so surprised sweetheart"

"Uhmmm I'm not really sure, it feels so right yet so wrong" she smiled

Without a single word, Dean cups your face, places his lips on yours, its sweet, it's sensual, yet filled with passion. Breaking the kiss, you look at him, studying his face, the speck of hazel around the black pupil, the way, his freckles runs across his nose, almost like the milky way, the corners of his mouth, that is slightly curled in a smile, his plumps lips, that's slightly swollen from the kiss, the little stubble on his chin and cheeks, the way his jawline just kind of frames his picture perfect face, the way his deep smoky voice fills the air, and your body with a exhilarating energy, "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.

Your voice barely audible and brittle, "I just love you, I love you more than life itself"

His voice calm, but certain "Marry Me"

Your jaw dropped, "What?"

He started to kiss your lips softly, his breathe hot as he said "Yes babe, I want you to be my wife?"

Searching his eyes your lips crept upwards into a smile, your voice sounded more brittle than you intended "Yes, yes Dean Winchester, I'll marry you"

The joy dancing in his green eyes, made you happy, even though a few stray tears rolled over your cheeks.

Feeling like your walking on cloud nine, then all of the sudden, you get this sharp pain in you ribs, unwillingly your eyes flutter open, gasping for air "what the hell?"

Looking around you, seeing your in some kind of room, chains around your wrists, hanging from what looks like the ceiling, clothing blood-soaked. Hair sticking to your face, sweat mixed with blood. Your feet barely touching the floor, it feels as if your arms is getting pulled out of their sockets if you move to much, your throat dry, realizing you must've been passed out, it wasn't really a dream, more like a memory, Dean did ask you too marry him, and then outta nowhere, two days later, you where left standing in the rain, the tears streaming down your face, unsure if it's about the way Dean left things, or the situation your currently thrown in.

Sighing, whispering to no one really "I'm tired, I'm so tired, I can't anymore and I don't want to anymore" head hanging down, looking at the floor, closing your eyes, wishing all this could be over, you heard heavy footsteps, laughter filling the dark air.

His voice smooth "All this turned out better than I could've imagined"

Confused you glare at him "okay, fine you win, get it over with"

Walking closer towards you, big smug on his face, "see, I can't deal with you yet, I know who you are" getting angrier now "I'll finally get my revenge, Dean will watch you die, he wanted to send me here, now I will take something precious from him"

Shocked to hear that he thinks Dean is still alive , she plays along maybe, it's her way out, Scoffing "Well sorry to hear you think he'd be coming to look for me, because we aren't together no more"

He laughs, "oh no, he is already here, searching for you, my men left him a little bread trail, as to where you are"

Furious now, you shake, trying to get loose, shouting "You leave Dean alone, kill me , but let him go please"

Clapping his hands together, "Ah, young love" he laughs harder "I am going to kill you, but Dean needs to watch, then I'll kill Sam, Cas and even Crowley, all while Dean has to watch"

Eyes wide, barely audible "They're all here"

His smug smile never leaving his face "oh yes, all of them, clearly they care, its so pathetic, you humans, you know that?"

Squinting her eyes, trying too fight the tears threatening to spill over, you care about all of them, more than you care to admit. He just simply walks out of sight. The silence is deafening, the only thing she can hear is her heart racing, Dean's alive, he came looking for her. Somewhere between the excitement of hearing Dean's alive and the spine chilling silence, she lost consciousness.

They hardly had too beat the crap out of some of the men, on their road to this half torn down, factory like building, all of them agreed, it felt like a trap, but Dean didn't give a damn, he needed to find her, save her and bring her home, he has been cursing himself internally, the whole damn way, if only he didn't freak out, but the moment he realized he wanted to marry her, be her husband, wishing he never said that, went on that hunt, saw how that ghost threw her against the wall, the pain she must've felt, he couldn't bear the thought of her getting hurt or worst getting killed, just because that's what he did, so saying goodbye, felt like the best thing to do, hoping she'll give up hunting, but he should've known better. He should have stayed by her side, he should have discussed his fears, the way he felt, but instead he went and broke her heart.

The four of them split up, there's to many halls, and doors too search, mostly the halls are filled with darkness, its filthy and disgusting, dried splattered blood on the walls, scattered human bones on the cement floors. There's scratching sounds coming from one of the rooms, the gun in Dean's hand is loaded, opening the door, unsure of what he's going to find, he's skin crawling as a bunch of rats, runs past him, some over his feet, slapping against his legs, whispering underneath his breath, "damn filth". He's heart, beating out of his chest, the more he walks in the darkness the more he can feel the darkness entering his mind, his heart, every grain of his very being.

He stopped in his tracks, the moment he saw her, hanging by chain's, her whole body is slumped over, hair covering her face, he can't make out if she's still breathing, for what felt like an eternity, he froze, almost too afraid to take a closer look. Striding closer till he's right in front of her, he gently takes her face in his hands, concern painted on his face, a burning pain in his chest, her beautiful face is bruised, and bloodied, her breathing faint, but still there, his voice hushed "Sweetheart, can you hear me"

Watching her open her eyes, was a beautiful site, she looked tired, a smile across her busted lips, "Dean,"

"Yes sweetheart I'm here, I'm sorry, I love you" he declared.

Sobbing now, "I... I thought I lost you forever"

"Baby, you'll always have me, always you hear me" he pleaded

Before she could answer a couple of men appeared out of the shadows. There were maybe six or seven, Dean got up, in a fighting stance ready to beat the crap out of them, he started punching and kicking his way, through the men, it wasn't until the last one hit the ground that he'd stop, blood splatters across his face, glancing over at her, he hears the familiar voice of Dick Roman "crashing the party are we?"

"Yeah well I didn't receive an invite so thought I'll invite myself" Dean smirked. He drew his gun, knowing it won't really help, but it's more a habit, "What do you want?" He questioned

Crude laughter fills the air, "I want you to pay Dean" he snapped his fingers, more men came running towards Dean, he tried his best, but he was one against, all of them, they over powered him, one clocked him against the head, in his unconscious state, they were tying him to a chair with chains, facing you.

It didn't take long before they were beating you, biting your lower lip, not wanting to give them the pleasure of seeing you in so much pain, you could taste the blood on the tip on your lip.

Dick Roman came walking towards you, dagger in hand, hoping he couldn't see the pain, and fear in your eyes, your eyes pierced his, he didn't say a single word, he pushed that dagger, through the skin and bone, wedging it between your ribs. Your scream filling the dark room.

Dean's eyes flung open, he's jaw clenched, he's voice angered and defeated "NO BABE" he shouted.

"Ah poor Dean Winchester" he laughed

Dean's green eyes, now almost black, "I'm going to kill, I promise you that"

Laughter filled the air, once again, it didn't last long though, surprised he glanced at them, Sam, Cas, Crowley and Benny, all four off them stood their bloodied and beaten, but ready to fight. All four of them started fighting and killing their way towards Dean and you, Crowley was the first one to stand next too Dean, his British voice almost inaudible "This belongs to you" he's face lit up with a sly smile.

Dean looked at him all confused, "I thought you threw this in the sea somewhere"

Crowley just shrugs his shoulders. The moment he placed that blade in Dean's hands he could feel the mark, turning a fiery red, the power pulsing through his veins, it didn't take long for the effects to take control of him, breaking loose out of the chain's, he faces Dick Roman, a smirk on his lips, he's features darkens. Taking that blade right too his chest, he kept going over and over, not stopping for a second, driving the blade further and deeper into his now lifeless body.

Sam tried to make him stop, even Cas, Benny and Crowley, but it didn't work.

Your voice brittle, revealing the pain, "Dean stop, please Baby"

Immediately stopping, he threw the blade down, running towards you, his eyes pleading, his voice soft "Sweetheart I'm so sorry" cupping your face, kissing your lips, holding you close to him, as Cas and Sam unlocks the chains, your body went limb, all you could feel is his hands holding you upright. Staring into his emerald green eyes, mouthing "I love you" the last thing you catches a glimpse off, was the light in his eyes as he replied "I love you too, Sweetheart, come back to me, come home please"

It's been almost three years since that dreadful day, smiling now, if it weren't for Dean begging Cas to save you, you wouldn't be here baking your husband his birthday pie, getting ready for the barbeque, with your good friends Sam, Cas, Benny and yes even dear old Crowley.

Did you and the Winchester Brothers stop hunting, no, of course not, but the two of you have each other and that's all you'll ever need, whenever your lost, knowing Dean's your lighthouse showing you the way home, with those beautiful green eyes.

#jacklesversebingo23 #nescveckwriter #lighthouse #spn fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #jensen ackles x reader #spotify #jared padalecki #sam and dean #dean winchester imagine #benny lafitte #castiel spn #spn #Spotify

72 notes · View notes

djljpanda · 11 months

Note

Hey I’m new here! And I find it amazing about your writings! Here’s my request, it’s about Wally Darling being the king of hearts, the au it’s from Neonross, so far what I know the AU (cuz it’s in process) it’s about kingdom that it’s divided from hearts, cloves and diamonds kingdom. But it’s unknown about the spade kingdom. (Possibly disappear or extinct by the others kingdoms)

I have been imagine a lot what if… or how about… Wally Darling! King of Hearts! X Y/N! Last descendant of spade kingdom? Where the reader is an undercover last royal lineage of the spade kingdom and it’s planning a revenge towards the king of hearts… but somehow it’s turning the otherwise as they fall in love with Wally.

@neonross On Tumblr

I apologize if I didn't do Wally's personality well. But I tried my best I hope you like it.

You were the youngest sibling, really just one year younger. But your older sibling was to be the rightful heir of the spade kingdom. You were fine with the fact you didn't have to do any boring royal duties. Everything was good until you had to leave for some position items that are found outside of the kingdom.

The Spade kingdom is the only kingdom that is far from everyone. It's a kingdom that was taught in positions and is very much fit for war, said to always have competitive or insane rulers.

You may say you fit that rope but you didn't care. You know what the three kingdoms did to your family and all you really want is some revenge. Took you awhile but you are ready to put your plan in motion.

When you were younger you had heard your parents mention one of the late Queen Ambrosia friends, the sorceress Poppy and how yet she is too trusting for her own good. So you decide to start with Poppy, you have seen her walk around the market but as you try to walk up to her you see a child hungrily looking at the red apples. So you gave him an apple only for the owner to hold on to your wrist where you told the child to run. The owner kept you there as you both made a scene. That was until Poppy came forward and stopped the commotion by telling the owner that she will take off the issue. You had walked with Poppy where she thanked you for your kindness to the young child, "Well we should never let our future generation to be hungry as for what they will do for us" "What a kind one you are. I haven't seen you around here before...Where do you come from?" "Ah sorry I'm Y/n-no last name from some farming land more south in the hearts kingdom" "That explains why you would want all your family's apples to go to everyone I expect".

You were taken back to Poppy's place where she had offered you tea which you expected. You say there explaining how you want to live a better life not wanting to be stuck in the farm lands forever. Poppy felt very bad and after thinking it over she spoke up, "Well I guess our majesty King Wally had been needing someone new to take care of the rose bushes and the apple trees. Are you up for the offer?" "Yes that would be my great break", you said not helping but smile as Poppy laughed at your antics.

The next few days you started to maintain the garden as you thought how to get close and kill the king. As you were lost in thought while picking apples you heard a charming voice which made you look down to see the king. "I heard you are my new gardener, would you mind if you would give me an apple" "Oh well here you go your majesty", you said coming down to give the king his apple. "Oh please call my Wally" "Well my name is Y/n", you said holding out your hand which Wally took. From that day forward the king will visit you. He would even help you with the apples and roses. Would even listen to your suggestion about the garden, "Cause if we have blue flowers the red ones will pop more. Same goes for the green and yellow apples the red ones will pop" "I see". Would even bring along the queen of clubs Julie and the king of diamonds Frank. You loved the fact all the four kingdoms are all in one place but they don't know that.

You started to hate yourself because why are the royals still alive. You would break everything in your room as your guilt started to hit. So one night you thought to just get it over with but you heard Wally yelling so you wanted to check out now. But when you got there you saw an assassin and Wally pushing him off. The assassin looked at you and not wanting someone else to kill Wally you thought this would be a good way to get your frustrations out.

Wally watched you get rid of his assassin. His eyes were stuck on you as you finished with the assassin and came up to him. You rubbed his cheek asking him if he is alright. Wally said he was and he was amazed by your strength on how you can be deadly but so sweet. When he is with you he feels more safe. He trusted you more and from that night all those feelings became love.

You enjoyed the fact that Wally was getting close with you. If you kill the king of hearts it would send a message to every other Kingdom. The perfect time to kill him was the heart kingdom banquet that was coming up. A banquet where all the royals and their courts come together and just hang out. Before the banquet you had used some undetected poison in the king's drink. But once you were done Wally himself came up to you. "Are you going to the banquet?" "Oh well I'm not really part of your court" "But you are my close friend" "Friend?" "Definitely. I love your skills, your intelligence, I'm happy to have met you". The conversation was short but you didn't pound on it too much.

At the banquet you stood as everyone else sat and talked. You had never been more disgusted in your laugh, just watching them laugh and having a good time just made your blood boil. That was until Wally made a speech about his late mother. The words he spoke of her felt genuine and even Poppy had started to tear up. Hearing his speech made you think of your family and why you are doing this all in the first place but in a small moment you had a change of heart. You knew which drink had poison, it may be undetected but how can you be a good poison maker without knowing your poison.

After the toast you thought about what could happen. If they did kill your family why be like them when you can be the bigger person. So many thoughts ran through your head as you swallowed the drink. Your knees began to become weak as your life flashed before your eyes. The last thing you heard was Poppy asking you if you are okay.

You woke up as you sat up looking around the room. You felt stupid that the poison wouldn't have worked next time you would use something else. But you stopped when someone came into your room. "Oh my goodness you are alright I was growing more worried", you looked down as you didn't want to see the king's face. As he walked up to you but there he had some roses. "You did my request?" "Well yes they do make the red ones shine". You look at the colorful roses, "Why save me when I'm just a gardener" " Because why would I let someone like you die. I know you are here for a reason as from what Poppy told me. You big break just started why would you let it go to waste. Also you had saved my life the second time around so I might need you there for the third?", Wally kept talking as you just sat there and listened.

You were stuck in bed due to the poison messing up your legs. Many have visited you but the one who surprisingly visited the most was no other than the king. He would come and tell you about his day, to bring you food, tell you all sorts of stories. You had still wanted to hate Wally but it was getting harder to do so. Maybe instead of killing Wally first you find out why he along with the other kingdoms kill your family. But while you were stuck in bed you felt yourself becoming sick again, love sick. You didn't think killing a king would be this hard, he is the king of hearts after all but you will find a way you promised yourself that.

321 notes · View notes

sharkboywrites · 7 months

Note

Can you do twst vice wardens (pls replace lilia with silver and ortho with ace) with a male reader that has a habit of not telling people about his various health problems. He has a whole iron deficiency and doesn’t tell anyone until he passes out in the middle of the hallway.

In the middle of a conversation he'll just drop an "Oh, my headaches going down" "you have a headache?" And such.

Thankyou!

"You what?!"

A/N: Hiii so sorry it keeps taking me forever to get to requests. I've been gone for a good amount of the summer on trips and stuff. I'm also dealing with some personal things. I made post about it, but for whatever reason it hasn't been seen. Anyways this request is so me, I'm either bothering people about my problems or literally never telling them to the point where it's concerning. I don't really talk about it but I do have some physical heath problems, so this feels nice for me to write.

Male reader, he/him pronouns used, author put his own health issues in just because, headaches, low iron, knee problems, heart problems.

Trey Clover

Trey is a very attentive older brother type, it would be very hard to hide something being wrong from him

But somehow you did

After all, with low iron, you never really know somethings wrong until you stand up

The two of you were relaxing after a lot of baking

Knowing there was an unbirthday party coming up, you decided to help him out

Unfortunately, you did over exert yourself quite a bit

You definitely felt off, but you decided it was fine and that it would probably go away

while the two of you were sitting down and talking, drinking some water, the timer went off

You went to get up and take the treats out of the oven when

uh oh

for a bit your head felt fuzzy, and you went down

To say Trey freaked out was an understatement

He really thought that you died for a minute

after getting you up and sitting you back down in your chair, he got the treats out of the oven himself

Once everything was settled and he made sure you were okay, you got a very lengthy lecture about taking care of yourself and telling people when you don't feel well

After this he gets very protective over you, constantly checking that you're okay and if you need anything

great job, you've activated the "big brother" part of Trey

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie could probably sense that something was wrong with you

Was he going to address it if you didn't say anything? no.

Listen, it's not that he doesn't care about you, it's just that he doesn't want to make extra work for himself

But don't worry, he ends up regretting that decision

When you're laying on your desk in pain

He stops and doesn't know what to do for a hot minute

And then he's off

He's running around the school trying to get what might help you

Water, food, pain meds

You want it? He's on his way to get it

He feels really bad about it later, please assure him

he'll get mad at you if you admit that it's common for you to never actually teel people you're in pain

He's also paranoid from now on

He'll constantly carry ibuprofen on him just in case and is very vigilant of your body language

he's worried about you

Don't scare him like that again please he can't take it

Jade Leech

It was really just a normal day

going to classes, trying to stay awake during lessons, and getting pestered by at least one of the eel twins

While having a nice talk with jade, something started to feel off

your chest felt weird

It didn't hurt per say, but it felt like it was racing

Having heart issues, you immediately knew what was wrong

Jade watched with a curious look as you took your water bottle and took a drink

He questioned if you were alright, and you told him what was wrong

With a calm look on his face, he immediately takes action

Your brought back to the mostro lounge and told to wait patiently as Jade disappeared for a few minutes

He later came back with a small meal for you and more water

He assured you that it had plenty of salt in it to help your heart's hard work and told you to take it easy

Now that he's aware of your situation, he's extra attentive

He may know somethings wrong before you do at this rate

And don't worry, he never doubts you or thinks you're dramatic if you ever tell him somethin may be wrong

Also has liquid i.v ready if you ever need it

He's now the number one person to go to when you're having issues

Jamil Viper

Parties can be overstimulating

So it's unfortunate that Kalim throws one almost every day

After an hour or two, Jamil thankfully found a less crazy sport for the two of you to sit

The two of you talked for a bit, enjoying the upbeat atmosphere

Halfway through talking, your head started to feel fuzzy, but you decided to brush it off and that it would probably go away eventually

Then Kalim called the two of you over

You couldn't figure out what he wanted you for, but the two of you got up anyway

When you stood up, the fuzziness in your head hit ten times harder, and you went down

Thankfully Jamil, with his quick reflexes, was able to catch you just in time

after assuring you were okay, albeit a bit panicked, you admitted you knew something was wrong, but decided to not say anything

And that's the story of how you got scolded by Jamil about taking care of yourself and telling people when something was wrong

He's much more on edge when the two of you spend time together from now on

He's constantly pestering you about how you feel, while trying (failing) to hide his genuine concern

Don't tease him about it, please

Rook Hunt

Lets be honest now, did you really think you could hide something from Rook?

Getting it away from trey? believable. Rook? Absolutely not

He is vigilant, nothing gets past him

Nothing

Even when you think he's not around, he is watching and he will know something is wrong

And the second he realizes your head hurts, he is all over you

Like showering you in concern and affection 24/7

if you were planning on keeping it from him, too bad

He's not giving you the chance

Really, he's treating you like royalty

You're in bed all day, dim lights, water, and any snacks you want

And he's not taking no for an answer

he's an extravagant man, what else were you expecting?

And from now on, he'll constantly be checking up on you

In the most dramatic way possible

He'll gently grab your shoulders and ask if you're okay

And if you aren't he'll grab your hands and with the most dramatic display, be so distressed for you and also praise you for being "so brave"

Such a dramatic man, really, but a dramatic man who's worried for you

Ace Trappola

Joining basketball with the boys sounds like so much fun, right?

Right???

Not really

Especially not when you've got a whole lotta knee pain

But it's alright, just power through it, as most people say

However most people don't realize that that's a bad idea

And unfortunately, you are most people

Forgetting your knee braces sure is unfortunate, although you thought it would be fine

It was not

Especially not when Ace decided to pull an "ankle breaker" on you

And it did just that

But with your knee caps

Listen, Ace may be a total jerk, but hearing a loud pop and then seeing you collapse...

He couldn't help but feel at least a little bad

But limping over to the bench you assured him that you were okay

Once sitting down, you took a deep breath and

another pop

And right back into place

And now you terrify him

This is something you can hold over his head at the slightest moment he starts to be a brat

Him doing the regular teasing? "Remember when you popped my kneecap out of place?"

Don't ever let him live this down

Silver

Unlike other characters on this list, it is so easy to keep something from Silver

It's not that he doesn't care, he's just very tired

But once he fins out that you've had a massive migraine this whole time, he feels so bad

he offers to get you anything you need

And once you're all settled, he looks so guilty

He may start to wallow if you don't stop him

Please stop him

Please assure him that it's not his fault

He really feels bad for not noticing earlier

Afterwards, he makes it clear that you need to tell him when you don't feel good

He also tries to be a lot more attentive from now on

He just feels so bad

This is where you both decided to work on communication skills

From now on, please tell him when you feel bad

he's worried for you :(

I'm finally back yaaay, but I took forever on this. i procrastinate so bad I'm sorry. I threw in my own physical problems too, hope y'all don't mind. ty for reading and gave a nice day :)

364 notes · View notes

sweatervest-obsessed · 8 months

Text

Salvia Splendens Means Forever Mine - Part 1

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 8.5k

TW: Guns, S2 E14/15 ie Revelations (lmao sorry gang), guns, police (acab), torture, character death, mentions of death, dead bodies, rabid dogs, loooots of bible talk, mentions of kissing, brief reminiscing of potentially more sticks to canon pretty closely meaning if you have issues with the Episode Revelations, then this might not be for you, neediness, crying, lack of crying, internalized emotions, mentions of cheating, mentions of past relationship trauma

A/N: So I'm pretty sure this reads as gn! Reid does quote a proverb that references women, but that's because the bible wasn't big on inclusivity when it came to shaming people who enjoyed sex...anywho! I love any and all feedback! Enjoy!

You, Emily, Hotch, Derek, Gideon and the Sheriff sat around the computer, staring at a woman tied up in a barn, in her slip dress, mouth duct taped over. A figure, who had hidden his face, was reading out a passage of the bible. Your eyes were glued to the screen.

A portion of Jezebel shall dogs eat the flesh of.

“No. no.” You turned around, not wanting to watch what was happening on the screen, just hearing it was almost too much.

“Jezebel’s Death.” muttered Gideon, his voice filled with solemnity.

“My god.” Emily turned away from the screen, copying your actions.

Finally, Hotch told Emily to turn it off, but not before the Sheriff jumped up. “Wait.”

You all looked at him, confusion written all over everyone’s faces.

“You hadn’t seen enough.” Derek quipped.

“Those dogs. Those three dogs attacked someone a couple of months ago. I would’ve had them impounded but the victim knew the owner.” The sheriff was sure about it, more sure about this than anything he had seen in his life. “A neighbor, he didn’t want to press charges.”

Gideon stared at him. “You sure?”

“As god as my witness.” The sheriff scrambled for his notebook, flipping to find something. “Three mangy mixes, I knew those dogs looked sick. I called in animal control, but I don’t know if they ever followed up on it.”

“Here it is.” He looked up from the page.

“You have the owner’s name?” Hotch leaned over glancing into the notebook.

“Hankel.”

Your eyes went wide. “Hankel?”

“Tobias Hankel.”

“That’s where Reid and JJ are.” You looked over at Hotch, who watched several waves of emotion fly over your face, trying to control all of them. He nodded and looked at everyone. “Alright let’s go.”

The sheriff yelled out for people to grab their gear while you asked Hotch for a second outside. He nodded and followed you outside to the parking lot. It was cold out, only because of the night breeze, allowing yourself to enjoy the lack of sun and heat.

Hotch was the only person who actually knew about you and Spencer’s relationship, not because you didn’t trust the team, but because the less people that knew about it, the better. You had watched agents lose their loved ones over and over, being used as pawns against one another, and you were terrified of that happening. The team knew you two really liked each other, and you would hope that it showed since you had been dating for almost a year.

You were the team's newest addition, right after Elle, younger than Spencer by a year, but still boasting your own PhD. The two of you clicked right away. And to a room of profilers, it was obvious that you two would work perfectly together, and you did.

So when you started dating a couple months later, you had kept it a secret, just to test things out, not make it public before you were sure. But then the whole “Fisher King” incident happened, and then Elle disappeared, which meant Emily had just joined, causing there to be really no time to just drop another bombshell on a team.

You didn’t mind though. It meant that despite the teasing, you got reassurance that Spencer absolutely had a crush on you, regardless of relationship status. Morgan teasing him over glancing at you one to many times had definitely boosted your ego a bit, but a little confidence never hurt anyone.

You looked up at Hotch, really trying not to freak out, counting your inhales and exhales, timing them so your heart wouldn’t give out. “Hotch if they aren’t…”

“I know.”

“I’m not asking you to promise me that everything is okay and he’s going to be fine, because we honestly have no reason to believe anything is wrong in the first place, but I–I just need to know that whatever might go down, I’ll have your support because…”

He nodded and put a hand on your arm, giving it a squeeze. “I know. I’m going to give you another minute out here, but then we need to go.” He went back inside, letting you close your eyes, breathing in the air, letting the coolness still your chest.

It was hard to only have Hotch know at times like these, or at least confirm his suspicions. You had been alone for about thirty seconds when Derek came out to greet you, bringing you your vest.

“Stressed out there Girl Genius?”

You nodded and accepted the vest, sliding it on, remaining silent.

“Hey.” You looked up at Derek who held his arms out, and you gratefully accepted the invitation. “Everything’s going to be okay. Maybe he’ll finally admit that he loves you if something bad happens.”

His joke landed but not in the way Derek thought. You scoffed. Derek sighed and pulled away a bit. “He really does like you Y/N, you just have to be patient with him.” You almost felt bad for not telling Derek the scoff was because you already had told one another, quite recently actually.

“Maybe Derek. Maybe. But for now, I want to make sure they’re both okay, and I’d rather it be sooner than later.”

The police pulled up to the Tobias household, sirens wailing, lights flashing around. You jumped out the car, gun in your holster, following Derek and Emily.

The sheriff stopped Morgan and told him about the barn in the back, and the three of you moved to the back of the house. You took out your gun and slowly followed behind Morgan and Prentiss, watching the door of the barn swing back and forth slightly in the wind.

Derek clicked on the flashlight, and you two did the same, following behind him as he took the lead into the barm. You shined a light through the empty stalls, rocking back and forth between each side, looking for any sign of either Spencer or JJ.

Emily’s light landed on one of the dogs, dead—shot. You swung your light the opposite way, finding another dog. Just then Derek took a step back, having found the mattress in which the remains of that poor woman was, or at least all of her blood soaked through the entire fabric of the mattress. You immediately turned away, not being able to look at it. You had a very strong stomach, unusually strong since you worked with the FBI and had seen plenty of inhumane things no human should be capable of, but something about this particular scene was unbearable to look at.

“Damn.” Derek whispered before you all whipped around when you heard someone scream “F.BI.”.

JJ. Her hair was matted, eyes wide, chest heaving. She was shaking, eyes running between the people standing in front of her.

“JJ!” Derek yelled her name as everyone had swiveled around to her, all twisting your aim to JJ. .

“Don't. Move.”

“JJ it’s us–Morgan. Prentiss. Y/L/N. Don’t Shoot, it’s okay” He slowly moved towards her, trying to calm her down, get her to put down her weapon. “Don’t shoot. It’s okay. Are you hurt?”

She lowered her gun, eyes quickly moving from each of you, you could watch as her mind tried to calm down, letting the adrenaline dissipate. You approached her, getting close, trying not to startle her.

“It-Tobias Hankel is the unsub.” She let out, eyes still quickly scanning around her, almost searching for something.

“We know.” Emily exhaled, as she placed a hand gently on JJ’s arm. The sheriff leaned over and informed Derek that they were going to call an ambulance for JJ.

“W-W-We just thought he was a witness…” JJ holstered her gun before watching as Morgan looked around as the dead dogs surrounded all four of you.

“I had to kill them.” Her eyes had glossed over.

“JJ, where’s Reid?” Derek spoke, looking at her expectantly, but eyes filled with worry.

“They just completely tore her apart. There’s nothing even left–”

“JJ. Look at me.” You grabbed her hand, causing her to look up at you. “Look at me. Where’s Reid.”

“We–We split up, he told me he was going to go around back.” JJ started to panic again, realizing he wasn’t with you. You also started to tremble, pulling your hand away slightly, exiting the barn before you could hear another word, gun drawn.

You could hear as Morgan followed you, almost running to the back of the barn. You stopped once you turned the corner, slowly creeping forward, eyes scanning across the corn, but also listening in for potentially any sound coming from behind the barn. You saw some trampled stalks, and turned to look at Derek.

“He followed him into the field Derek.”

Derek saw your thought process, and the conclusion you reached as you reached it, which was a matter of seconds. As you went to dash into the field, following the very faint trail, Derek grabbed your arm and stood his ground, meaning you fought against him, and he struggled a bit, but ultimately won. “If you think for one second I am about to let you go into that field, you’re crazy.”

“Dere–”

“That’s clearly a sign that someone got dragged. He’s not in there.”

You huffed, biting your lip. You were trying so hard not to break in front of Derek, but every second you thought about what Tobias Hankel had been doing to people, meshed with every other second you thought about that happening to Reid, it was a miracle you could still even listen to Derek.

“Go inside with Hotch.”

You nodded slightly, holstering your gun, and running your hands down your face. “You’re not going to leave me alone until you watch me walk away from the cornfield.” You grumbled out, looking up at him.

“Yeah.” He sighed and pulled you into a quick hug. “Look. I don’t know what has actually occurred between you and Boy Genius, but you charging off into a field we know he probably isn’t in, won’t help us find him. I’m going to talk to Prentiss and JJ.”

You nodded and pulled away, running your hands through your hair, quickly walking towards the house as Derek moved towards the ambulance, not fully taking his eyes off of you. He was curious as to what the team didn’t know about you two, but pushed it aside since clearly pestering you about it wasn’t going to help any of you find Reid.

The next morning, You had not slept, and were only slightly avoiding JJ, basically walking laps around the outside of the house, trying to let your brain get some oxygen and calm down. Or, you would be standing around a table with the team, sitting in front of the computers, and your leg would bounce, you would tap your hands against your arm, anything to keep yourself from breaking down.

Obviously the team all picked up on it. It’s not even like they were microexpressions, you were just visibly anxious. All your brain could think about were flashes of Spencer, and whether or not he was still alive, completely unaware of his whereabouts since the lead from last night turned out to be a dead end. Hankel was smart, which made you nervous.

You were currently walking around the living room, wearing a circle into the rug, which was barely holding it together, reading Tobais’s diaries, trying to find anything. You heard JJ welcome in Garcia, and you paused to look up at Garcia with a brief smile on your face before continuing. Once they got her set up, Hotch tilted his head, requesting you come a bit closer so you all could talk.

“So, I’m guessing nothing new since I left.” He started.

“Not but,” Emily started. “The good thing is this guy documented everything second of his life. The bad news is we’re still unpiling.”

“From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years.” JJ sighed and stared down at all of the notebooks and papers strewn across the table.

“He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail.” Emily looked up at Hotch, but Gideon interrupted.

“No no no, it’s more than that. Sheriff’s office, 911 calls. Every time he engages the police and gets away with it, he reassures himself. God’s on his side not ours.”

You just walked into the kitchen and lightly dropped the notebook you had been reading onto the table, brushing past Hotch. “I need some air.” You mumbled to him, shoving the rickety screen door open and quickly hustling down the steps.

You ran your hands through your hair, trying to breathe, trying to fight the urge to burst into tears and let yourself just lay on the ground. The only reason you hadn’t done so yet was because the urge to find Spencer was so much stronger.

After a moment, you heard the screen door open and someone come down the steps. “Emily I’m fi–”

“Y/N,”

You looked up and made eye contact with JJ. Her hair was flatter, less knots, but you could still see she had been shaken up. It didn’t matter. You were trying, desperately trying to not blame JJ for Reid’s disappearance, and you knew she was struggling with it too, but the fact that they weren’t together meant that he got dragged off somewhere, technically on her watch.

“JJ now’s no–”

“Please let me—”

“JJ.” You cut her off, arms crossed over your chest. You were only truly able to make eye contact with her for a couple seconds before you had to avert your eyes upwards. “Seriously. I’m fine. Go back inside.”

Your voice was curt, and running along the line of unkindness, but you were restraining yourself, trying to give your coworker, your friend, someone who had become your family, an out in this moment, but she just wouldn’t take it.

“You won't even look at me!” That got your attention back to her. “You haven’t spoken to me since the barn, and you’re avoiding me. I-I know what we did wasn’t…”

You huffed, now only staring at her, challenging her. “I’m listening now, JJ. That’s what you wanted right.”

She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I know you blame me. I blame myself. But I can’t stand you being so distant and I–”

“Look. JJ.” You cut her off again. “I am doing everything in my power not to scream at the top of my lungs how stupid it was, for the both of you to split up.” Your voice was low, and steady—it was unnerving to hear since you had always spoken with such character, such lightness. “But right now, I can’t yell at Spencer. And I really do not want to yell at you. I think it is one of the stupidest decisions either of you could have made. But blaming you for a decision you both made, doesn’t help us find him any sooner. So please. Just leave me alone right now.”

You brushed past her, not making any actual contact with her, since the next person who touched you might actually be the reason you start sobbing. JJ was absolutely shocked, frozen in the yard, trying not to cry herself. You didn’t want JJ to cry, you really didn’t, but she was pushing on something that is usually completely surrounded by walls and locks and gates.

You blinked away your tears and walked back into the house, towards the kitchen. Hotch and EMily looked up at you, both noticing JJ wasn’t next to you, and your face somehow managed to seem more frustrated and anxious than before.

Spencer had bought you a necklace for your one year anniversary. It was a very simple chain, with a small pendant on the front. Inside it was a pressed flower, a small, pressed, red salvia in the center of the clear pendant. You loved flowers, it was very obvious from the way that you always had a small vase of a few fresh flowers in the corner of your desk, or you had a signature pair of floral converse you always wore when you went out. It took Spencer all of three seconds to figure out that you loved flowers, and all of one question later to find out if you knew, and liked, Victorian Flower language; of course you did. When you two had started secretly seeing one another, you had been updating the flowers weekly. It was a part of your regular schedule, so no one questioned it. But suddenly you were becoming deliberate in your mini bouquets, hints of longing (pink camellias), with pops of devotion (heliotrope), or secret adoration (gardenias) sprinkled with I think of you (blue salvia), eventually turning to bouquets of ever-lasting love (baby’s breath) and sunshine in his smile (yellow tulips). Every time you would update the weekly bouquet, the team would comment on how the new bouquet looked so beautiful, the colors brightening up the place. But when Spencer walked through the door, you loved watching his eyes immediately dart for the flowers, decoding the message for only him. The red salvia on your chest was proudly proclaiming forever mine, for Spencer, and no one was the wiser.

When you wore it happily the day after your anniversary, exchanging the previous bouquet for a new one filled with yellow lilies, Spencer cou;d’ve known right then and there that you were over the moon, if you hadn’t already told him, and shown him, the night before. When Derek watched you fiddle with the necklace all day, he had made a joke that clearly you have someone in your life and “Pretty Boy needs to step up his game”, he had misread your slight smirk as a tease on Spencer, and not on himself. It was not a month later that you were fiddling with it in Tobias Hankel’s kitchen, your biggest tell of all, that you were nervous about something. But to most of the profilers in the room, you were nervous and fiddling with your necklace, to Hotch, it was a clear sign that he needed to keep you at a slight distance to make sure your head stays clear. If any of them had been thinking clearly, they might have made the connection from the necklace to Reid, but no one really was.

JJ followed a minute later, and quietly went back to her seat. It was clear she had been crying, or trying not to, but so were you, so it honestly didn’t make you feel as bad as it probably should have.

“Hey guys.” Emily’s voice cut through your thoughts. “I have got a list of Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Someone’s name and number is written on it, but it looks to be about twelve years old.”

“Try it. There are no bad leads.” Gideon answered.

You sighed, but watched curiously as Gideon stared at the wallpaper. He peeled off a section of it, revealing what seemed to be the same phrase over and over and over again.

“Honora Partum Tuum.” He read aloud.

“Honor thy father.” You finally spoke up. For much of the team, it was the first time they had heard your voice in hours.

Gideon looked over at you, realizing in his eyes, nodding.

“Hey guys. I think I got something.” You heard Derek yell, which meant all of you rushed out of the house, running over towards Derek. He had his gun out, pushing hay off of doors to what seemed like a storm cellar.

Derek pulled open one of the doors, shining his light into the darkness. “Tobias Hankel, F.B.I!” Hotch gave him the go ahead to slowly move down the stairs, then allowing Emily to follow. Hotch then gave you a small look, giving you the impression that you would not be allowed down into that cellar until it was cleared. You stood back slightly, not having the energy to have a bout in front of the others, still holding your gun, and scanning the surrounding area, keeping an eye particularly on the barn and the fields behind it.

You heard Derek yell out “Tobias Hankel” a couple of times, making your pulse beat faster–maybe they had found him, maybe he was okay. There was no other sound than Derek though. Maybe he was dead. Maybe someone else had spencer. Maybe—Derek came out of the storm cellar, covering his mouth.

You looked at him expectantly and shook his head. “Tobias’s father…on ice.”

You exhaled, a wave of emotions crashing through your veins that only left you more stressed than before.

Hotch came out of the cellar next, and motioned for you to follow him. You knew this conversation was coming, and the fact that it hadn't happened already surprised you.

Once the two of you were out of earshot, Hotch looked at you, not as a friend, not as someone who helped you through some dark moments in your life, but as your boss. “Can you continue, or do you need to sit the rest of this case out.”

His tone wasn’t harsh, quite the opposite. He watched as someone he cared for was slowly crumbling, closing off her walls to the outside, meaning you were more in your own head, than truly present.

You nodded, sighing. “If I’m not here, then I might go out there on my own. I’m not telling you that you’re babysitting me.” Hotch tried to cut you off, but you barrelled through. “But I need to be here, because if a breakthrough happens, if any of us find a location, I need to be in that car Hotch. If we find Hankel, I have a full understanding that however I react is the fate of my job. I am well aware of that. And I love this team with basically everything I have, so I need you to trust me, the way I am trusting all of you to find him.”

Hotch watched you for a moment before nodding. His features softened and he placed his hand on your arm again. It was the most contact Hotch ever really gave, but it meant so much. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head, managing to keep it together. “No. I’d be more concerned if I was.” You tried to crack a joke, causing both of you to smile before he nodded at you. “I’ll see you in there.”

He left you standing by yourself, giving you a moment to collect yourself, before you followed him back into the house, back into the kitchen, back into the journals.

Spencer being gone for so long meant you had a laundry list of things you missed about him. You missed the way he would ramble on about anything in the world that he knew about. You missed his sweater vests, how they never seemed to match his outfit, but somehow always pulled the look together. You missed his dorky smile at you from across his desk. You missed the notes he would leave you in your apartment when he would get up to get to work, knowing you always had arrived before him at work since you lived closer. You missed the feeling of his hands in yours. The feeling of the hand on your back, on your shoulder.

But right now, you missed how fast that son of a bitch could read. Oh my god. If you had to read through one more of Tobias’ notebooks, you might lose your mind. You placed it facedown on the table and placed your head in your hands, giving your eyes a well deserved break.

After a moment, Derek spoke up. “There’s something weird going on here.” He was slowly pacing around the table.

“You think?” quipped the sheriff from across the room, and you snorted slightly in agreement and amusement.

“No seriously, check this out.” Derek looked up at everyone in the kitchen. “This journal is full of religious ramblings. He notates hour by hour. November 15th, 3:17 – if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the lord, ye shall offer it of your own will. And it goes on and on. 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42, but then it goes blank for days.”

You removed your face from your hands, looking over at Derek.

“Maybe he got sick of writing.” The sheriff offered up.

“I think I got it.”

“What is it?” Gideon prodded Hotch, all of you watching him.

“Journal entry, December 6th, Father sick. Wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill, he says honor thy father. Must pray for guidance.” Hotch looked over at Gideon.

“So he kills his father as an act of mercy?”

“This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel’s father had been dead for four months already.” Hotch raised his eyebrows, Gideon and Derek starting to realize what he was getting at.

“That’s exactly it.” Derek moved one of the chairs away from the table. “Look at the floor. These scuff marks are fresh. I mean, it’s like two people were moving the chairs constantly trying to fight for control.”

“So?”

“This journal matches Charles Hankel’s handwriting, but it was written after he died. Upstairs, Tobias’ bedroom—it’s got junk piled from floor to ceiling but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection.” Derek was explaining to the Sheriff, who honestly was starting to get on your nerves with some of these questions.

“So you’re telling me one of Tobias’ personalities was his father?”

“Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code. Black and white, right and wrong.” Gideon interrupted. “When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give.”

“His brain couldn’t handle the moral contradiction so it split into two personalities in order to keep his father alive.” Hotch looked over at Derek, a conversation between the two of them happening silently and quickly.

“So who is Raphael?”

“My guess, he’s the mediator between the two.” You spoke up, watching hotch and derek before looking back at the sheriff.

“Angels have no human emotions.” Gideon continued your thoughts. “Live or die, they don’t care. As long as it’s God’s will.”

“We need to start profiling Tobias’ father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid.” Hotch quickly looked at you before looking at Derek.

Derek nodded and started to head out of the room. “I’ll get Garcia on it”.

“Any luck with the rehab contact?” You looked up as Emily and JJ walked in, hoping they would have some answer for you.

Emily sighed. “Well he has no idea where Hankel might be, but we did learn that he has a serious drug problem. Dilaudid.”

“Well that could explain the psychotic fracture.” Hotch nodded over at Gideon.

“What are you talking about?”

Gideon, who had been staring at the photos all along the mirror that they had taped up, looked over at JJ. “Tobias is living as at least three different people; himself, Raphael, and his father.”

“Well this could be some bad news.”

Honestly, to you, it felt like all the sheriff did was bring more and more bad news.

“A computer store was robbed in the middle of the night. A suburb outside of Atlanta Thief got away with four laptops, external hard drives, and a satellite.”

“If it’s Tobias that puts him right back in business.” Hotch cast a quick glance over at you, watching as you tensed up, knowing the images you were desperately trying to keep out of your head. In response, you stood up and left the room, heading over to Derek and Penelope in the next room.

Penelope was sitting at the desk, typing and typing away. Derek looked up as you entered, giving you a small smile. You shook your head. “They think Tobias stole—” Just as you started, your mouth stopped. The screens in front of Penelope had changed, going blank with one cursor in the corner.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.” Penelope’s eyes were wide.

Spencer filled up every single screen, except for Penelope's laptop, and the one screen she was directly connected to.

“Oh my god.” You yelled, one hand flying to cover up your mouth, the other immediately grabbing your necklace, eyes flitting from screen to screen. This wasn’t real, it wasn’t happening–it couldn’t be happening.

Spencer was tied to a chair, his clothes disheveled, his hair a mess, he was missing both shoes and one sock. The left side of his head was soaked with blood, hair wet with it.

This was your worst nightmare, and yet you could not look away. You watched as his chest rose and fell, giving you at least the calm that he was alive. But tears still pricked the corners of your eyes, breathing was becoming harder and harder, but you couldn’t shut down. Your body wouldn’t let you.

Your yell had the others almost run into the room you were in, all of them barreling into the room, filling it up with bodies. Once they all looked at you, each one slowly realized what you were staring at.

“He’s been beaten.” Emily so astutely pointed out.

“Can’t you track him.” JJ was also struggling to breathe, guilt consuming her entire body.

“Hankel’s only streaming this to his home computer.” Garcia said solemnly, still doing her best to find something, anything.

Hotch turned to look at your face. At this point, most of the blood had left your face, leaving you pale, and nauseous. He tried to calmly gestured for you to leave, giving you an out, but you stared straight ahead, somehow becoming more pale, more sick, when Gideon pointed it out for you all.

“This is for us. He knows we’re here.”

Derek huffed and turned away for a second, trying not to bash the wall in. “I’m gonna put this guy’s head on a stick.”

“Why can’t you locate him?” You could kiss Hotch for staying so level headed in this moment. Your eyes quickly tore away from the screens, looking at Garcia.

“He’s rerouting to a different I.P. address every thirty seconds. I can’t track him.”

Can you really see inside men’s minds?

All of you quickly found a screen to watch as you heard the voice take over.

See these vermin? Choose one to die.

All you could do was stare at his face–his eyes. You had never seen Spencer so vulnerable, so tired, barely fighting at all. You watched as his eyes scanned across something to his right. All of you held your breath, waiting for Spencer to say something, anything.

You choose one to live.

“Oh my god.” You mumbled again as Spencer shook his head slightly, defying Tobias, or whoever’s wishes.

I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior.

“You’re a sadist in a psychotic break. You won’t stop killing. Your words aren’t true.”

The other heathens are watching. Choose a sinner to die, and I’ll say the name and address of the person to be saved.

“I won't choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher.” Spencer was staring into his eyes, challenging him. But Tobias, or Charles, picked him up by the collar, both hands, and brought his face really close to Spencer's.

Can you really see inside my mind boy. Can you see I'm not a liar. He chucked Spencer back into the chair, causing Spencer to flinch from another bruise you probably couldn't see. Choose one to die, and save a life. Otherwise they’re all dead.

“All right. I’ll choose who lives.” You inhaled sharply, Derek tensing up next to you.

They’re all the same.

You all waited, in silence, as Spencer scanned what you assumed were the laptops that had been stolen. His eyes flickered to the camcorder, shame in voice, looking back at Tobias or Charles. “Far right screen.”

Marilyn David, 4913 Walnut Creek Road

“You got that?”

“Marilyn David. My name is Jason Gideon with the F.B.I. I need you to close your laptop screen right now. Someone has been connecting into your laptop’s camera and watching you. For your safety, you need to close it.

“Raphael.”

The computer screens went black.

“Garcia, get him back.”

Derek turned away, slamming the door against the wall as he stalked out of the room, beyond pissed.

“Garcia, get him back.” You repeated, absolute horror dawning on all of your faces. Your eyes were frantically running over every screen every ten seconds, hoping that maybe one of them would still hold the image of Spencer.

“I’m t-trying.” She whispered, furiously typing away, trying to hack into something, or find Hankel, anything really.

“So now what. Wait for a 911 call?” The sheriff's voice rang out in your ear, and it grated against you. “And hope we get there in time.”

Once you had gotten the 911 call, you, JJ, Emily, and Derek were told to stay at the house with Garcia. You heard Derek and JJ in one of the other rooms, but you were just standing next to Garcia’s chair, not moving an inch. All you could do was stare at the screens, eyes flitting from face to face on unexpecting potential victims.

JJ walked in, looking more like she had in the barn–disheveled, guilty. “Any more signs of Reid.”

Both you and Garcia shook your heads.

“He just posted the last murder online.” Garcia’s voice was grave, eyes dark. “It had over 17,000 hits in the first twenty minutes.”

“I want to see it.”

“No you don’t.” You answered JJ, not turning to look at her.

“Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want.”

You tore your eyes away from the screens and over at JJ.

“If I can’t watch this…I have no business being in the field.”

“J-ge, it’s not a competition.” Garcia whispered.

“I-I need to see it.”

You shook your head and walked out of the room, not being able to watch it again. You walked into the kitchen where Derek and Emily were, discussing something. Derek’s eyes quickly flicked over to you, surprised slightly by the fact that you had left the screens.

“We can trace their whole family history. Here we got happy smiling pictures of Tobias. Report cards all A’s and B’s. But at eight years old, we got nothing.”

“That’s his mother leaving.” Emily shot you a quick, yet sympathetic smile, before looking back at the mirror. “Six months later, on the other side of the board, we have a form from child services saying they paid a visit.”

“Then Charles starts keeping journals about punishing sinners and needing to remove the devil from his son.” Derek continued.

“Which corresponds to Tobias’ drug use. He’s trying to escape.” You watched as Emily and Derek worked through the profile again.

“So wherever Reid is, It was Tobias’ choice, not his fathers.” Derek sighed and scanned over the pictures, trying to find maybe a common location amongst them.

“How’d you figure?”

“Look at these two lives. They’re like inverse graphs. One’s getting weaker while the other ones getting angrier. Tobias would run away while his father would have stood and fought.” Derek looked back at Emily.

She nodded. “Okay so Tobias uses drugs as an escape. I’ll go back through the journals and see if I can find anything connecting his drug use to a hiding place

“Uh where’s Gideon.” You finally spoke up.

“He’s upstairs. Why? What’s going on?”

“Hankel just posted the latest murder.” JJ walked out of the room that you had just been in.

You watched as she quickly called out to Gideon that the newest murder had been uploaded, and as he quickly made his way into the adjoining room. You heard him panicking, trying to come up with a solution to get people to stop watching the videos.

You were fiddling with your necklace, mind lost on the day before all of this started. It had been sunny in DC. Something you didn’t get all the time, especially when you were only there half of the year. You had gone over to Spencer's apartment, picking up your favorite take out on the way over. He had been teaching you how to play chess. You already knew the basics of chess, which pieces moved where, and how to analyze a board on a move to move basis, but Spencer started to teach you strategies. He would explain every single move he was making, and how he was able to predict a check in three. It was adorable. In return, for every game you would learn together, Spencer would watch a movie with you. He would watch movies if you had asked him in the first place, but this time, you gave him what he thought was the most enthralling commentary the entire time. You would put on your favorite movies and ramble on and on about a certain actor getting sick during this shot, or the fact that the two romantic leads hated one another, or even someone breaking their toe during one scene—he adored listening to you ramble, in the same way you loved listening to him. That night was movie night. You had picked cult-classic “Rocky Horror Picture Show.” you were absolutely enthralled to explain to Spencer the interactive portions of the movies, the screaming at the screen, the details of the pink triangle on Dr. Franknfurter’s smock, the repetition of certain musical themes. You two hands ended up tangled on the couch, giggling about something, drunk on each other’s company—it was perfect.

But the sound of Spencer’s sob ripped through your thoughts. It took you three strides to be back with Garcia and Gideon, watching as Tobias slammed his fist across Spencer’s face. Your hands moved to your mouth as your eyes watered.

You heard as he begged Tobias to help him, bruises flowering across his face, a cut across his lip breaking the once smooth skin.

He can’t help you. He’s weak. Confess. Confess your sins.

You watched as Spencer’s chair was chucked to the ground, while he was still tied to it. Every single atom of air had left your lungs. You could feel the pit of your stomach drop, unable to move, unable to blink. Tears welled up in your eyes as the love of your life was being beaten to death, and you couldn't do anything about it.

Several studies have shown that plants can feel pain. Whether or not they are completely and one hundred percent credible is something you and Spencer have jokingly argued about multiple times. You liked to think that they didn’t considering you managed to bring in a fresh crop of newly cut flowers each week. But these scientists claim that plants can feel pain. They can feel the pain of being cut from the vine or stem, and they can feel themselves dying as you watch them wilt in the vase. You and JJ were quite similar in feeling like you had to prove something to yourself, that if you couldn’t handle what was happening, maybe you shouldn’t be in the field, shouldn’t be in the BAU.

Watching Spencer have a seizure on the ground, unable to run to him, unable to save him, unable to do anything but just watch in horror, made you feel every single ounce of pain you could have ever imagined. When his body stilled, and Tobias exited whatever building they were in, you were still standing there, completely and utterly in shock. Hotch took your arm and wordlessly tugged on your arm, but you couldn’t move. Your feet were cemented to the floor. Even if you wanted to run the other way, you couldn’t. Hotch tried again, but you just stared at the screen, constantly flipping the necklace over and over and over and over again. If you moved, you might start sobbing, you might collapse, you might have just died on the spot.

Spencer's lips were still. His lips would ramble when he had something he found quite interesting to speak about, they would fidget when he got nervous, they would form quirky expressions when he had a moment of realization. But not once have they ever been this still. And it was dissolving your heart. Moment by moment another small section would boil down to dust, not even letting you have the chance to have your heart ripped out, because that would mean your heart would still be together, still be beating, just not with you anymore. Your heart was dying because Spencer was dead.

The first stage of grief is denial. All you could do was hope, pray, anything that this was some sick and twisted joke, that Spencer was okay. That Spencer was alive. That you weren’t staring at Spencer’s body on the screen, not knowing where he was, and if you would ever find him, or his body.

Lucky for every single person in that room, and lucky for Tobias Hankel, you watched as he burst back through the door, dropped down to his knees, and tried to resuscitate Spencer. Your eyes widened as you watched every single chest compression, every single moment of mouth to mouth. After the longest thirty seconds of your life, Spencer convulsed, air filling his lungs, coughing.

“Oh my god.” You almost threw up into the hands that were covering your mouth because you were so grateful for the fact that Spencer was breathing, that his dead body was somewhere you might never have found it.

“Wait. Wait a second.” Emily leaned over to Garcia. “When was the video of the last murder poster?”

“9:23.”

“And what was the time of death?”

“The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murders must have been moments later.”

“That's only a 19 minute difference.” You spoke up, figuring out what Emily was getting at.

“How long would it take to post the mpeg.” Derek chimed in.

“2, 3 minutes.” Garcia looked over at you all.

“Lets call it 2. You figure a maximum of sixty miles per hour in a residential area, that means Hankel has to be within a seventeen mile radius of the crime scene.” Derek reasoned, looking over at Hotch.

“Garcia, can we see it on a map?” Hotch leaned over Garcia.

“Call Farraday. I want that area locked down like it’s martial law.” Gideon turned to Derek, ready to give more instructions but you interrupted.

“Guys.”

You came back to life.

Spencer was looking up at Rapheal now. The complete shift in tone from Charles to Raphael to Tobias always made your hair stand on edge, but you could hear the anger that Raphael held.

There can only be one of two reasons.

“I was given CPR.” Even after he was just given his life back, he still managed to crack a joke.

There are no accidents. How many members are on your team?

“Seven”

You paused, ready to speak up, but Tobias beat you to it.

The seven angels who had the seven trumpets who prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and fire, mixed with blood and they were thrown to the earth.

“He thinks it’s revelations. The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death.” Hotch explained.

“Hotch there are eight of us on this team.” You spoke, this time garnering the attention of everyone in the room. “He’s lying to Hankel, that's considered a sin right? If Hankel finds out—”

You were interrupted by the sound of a chair hitting the ground. Hankel had yanked Spencer’s chair upright, watching as he was jostled around.

Tell me who you serve.

“I serve you”

Then choose one to die

“What”

Your team members choose one to die.

“Kill me”

You inhaled sharply causing one of Derek's hands to find the small of your back. You had already watched him die once, but you can’t give CPR to a bullet through the brain.

You said you weren't one of them

“I lied”

Your team has six other members. Tell me who dies.

“No”

All of you watch as Tobias pulls one bullet out of his pocket, and clicks open the revolver. He placed it in, and spun the barrel, letting it close with a click. Spencer playing Russian roulette was not on your bucket list of things to do this year. Maybe force him to go kayaking with you, let him teach you some other game like Go, maybe even take a few days off for a real vacation and work each other up so desperately. But you could guarantee, this was not on that list.

Each time Spencer refused, and you heard the empty barrel fire, your heart gave out, again.

Choose, and prove you’ll do god's will.

“No.”

Click.

And again.

Choose.

“I won’t do it”.

Click.

And again.

Life is a choice.

“No.”

Click.

And again.

Choose.

Spencer’s pause made everyone hold their breaths. He had a 33.33% chance of getting shot, and luck had to run out, it always did.

“I-I choose…” You all waited, no one truly knowing what he could possibly be thinking. “Y/N Y/L/N.” Derek's hand on your back tensed up, all eyes looked at you, and all you could do was stare at Spencer on the screen. He wouldn’t just hand out your death sentence like that, he wouldn’t do that to you. Right? Right?

“Adulterer, cheating on my for months now. Puts their own needs above others and their feelings.” Your brows furrowed, hand immediately at the necklace you were wearing around your neck. This accusation confused the absolute shit out of you, since you had revealed to Spencer your history with a previous partner who had chea–oh. He was speaking to you.

“Oh my god.” You whispered.

“I would come home to bouquets of crimson roses and rosemary, or there would be begonias and clematis. I've only ever bought red salvias with baby’s breath—their favorite.” Spencer chuckled, putting on an act for Tobias.

“Pen! I need a pen.” You yelled, everyone now concerned you had lost your mind, but Garcia had quickly handed you hers as you tried to write down the flowers Spencer had listed off. Once you had all of them written down, you quickly ran out of the room.

“Genesis 23:4, For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword.”

You only paused for a moment when you heard a gunshot, but you kept going, hoping and praying that you were right. You had found one of the empty pages of Tobais’ journals and wrote down the flowers:

crimson roses - mourning rosemary - remembrance clematis - poverty begonias - beware, watch out

You looked at the list of the flowers, over and over. “Mourning…” You mumbled, when it hit you. Quickly, you grabbed the bible on the table, flipping to find Genesis 23:4.

Morgan walked into the room, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Look I don't know about this potential relationship that you and Spenc-"

“I’m not a cheater.” You cast him a quick look, still flipping to find the page.

Derek started. “He’s not in his right mind Y/n.”

Gideon quickly followed. “Come on, look you can’t think anything of that..”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. Well, yes, it is, but that’s not–”

Hotch cut you off. “He’s panickin—”

“Everyone. Stop.” They all obliged, watching as you picked up the notebook you had been writing in. “What is my worst quality?”

They all just stared at you.

“Okay I’ll start, I can be a total bitch.”

“You miss a concerning amount of briefings.”

“You can get overly emotional sometimes.”

“You’re extremely stubborn.”

“You don’t trust anyone easily.”

“Okay good, I’m all these things, but none of you said that I would ever put my needs over anyone. Especially over other’s feelings. Reid and I had a conversation about two weeks ago about my ex who would repeatedly cheat on me, among other things.” You took a little breath before continuing. “And he knew I would obviously remember a conversation like that. He also knows I love Victorian Flower Language, it’s one of my favorite interests. Some of the flowers he listed off, correspond to flowers you send in mourning, when someone has died, not the flowers you send someone to admit their love or hide it.”

You handed the bible to JJ. “And he also quoted Genesis Chapter 23, verse 4, Read it.”

JJ read out: “I am a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you, that I might bury my dead out of sight.”

“Spencer would never get it wrong unless it was on purpose. He’s in a cemetery.”

“I don’t see a cemetery” Garcia had pulled up the 17-mile radius again, looking between you and Hotch.

“Call up the first time we saw Reid.” Gideon was rubbing his hands together, trying to remember something.

“I won't choose who gets slaughtered, and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher.”

Spencer had looked right at the camera, fucking brilliant man. He had been trying to contact you all since the first time he was on camera.

“Check to see if there are any reports of poaching in the last couple of days.” Hotch nodded at Gideon while Garcia speedily typed out her parameters, getting a response almost instantly.

“Okay uh, a farmer reported two sheep being slaughtered on his property.”

“Where are we talking?” Derek was behind you, watching as Garcia zoomed into a five mile radius around the farmer’s land.

“It would be someone that was old, dilapidated, run down. Clematis is a sign of poverty.”

JJ pointed to a small section on the screen. “What’s that patch of green there”

“Marshall parish, I think it's an old plantation.”

“Wait.” Emily quickly flipped through a journal, trying to find what she had remembered. “Tobias wrote in his journals about staying clean and keeping away from Marshall.”

“Guys. There's a cemetery on the grounds.”

“Alright.” Hotch nodded at all of you. “Let's go.”

As you all headed out, Hotch stopped you, pulling you past the kitchen and into the living room. Derek shot you a sympathetic smile as he and the rest of the team exited the building. The living room would be far enough away from Penelope's prying ears, but it’s not like it mattered anymore—it was pretty obvious you and Spencer were sleeping together, if not dating.

“You’re not going.”

You scoffed at Hotch, expecting nothing less, but still willing to fight him about it.

“I’m serious Y/N. I need everyone out there to be as level headed as possible, and you and I both know that the second Spencer put his life on the line, second time round, you were about to raise hell and earth to get to him. If you can promise me, right here, right now, that your head is completely clear, then I will let you go with us, no questions asked.”

You pinched your eyes, letting out a hefty sigh. “Hotch I cannot be here in case he needs me.”

“If he gets hurt, you will not be able to function as an agent, and that is a risk I am not willing to take.”

Hotch is right. He almost always is.

The porch door swung open with the loudest screech yet, Derek appearing in his bullet proof vest, holding Hotch’s in his hand. “We’re heading out.”

Hotch nodded at you, a brief hand on your arm, before walking to the door.

“Hotch?”

He looked over at you.

“The last flower? Begonias?” He nodded at you, not sure where you were going with this.

“If you were sent begonias…it was a subtle warning that you were in danger. Please, be careful.”

“We will.”

And with that, the door slammed shut, and suddenly you were stuck in a ranch house, wondering whether or not Spencer was okay, and whether or not your team would even make it on time. You clutched at the necklace, twirling the pendant, watching as the headlights faded into the darkness, with the very real possibility, someone might not come back.

Next Part

#spencer reid #x reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader angst #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x gn!reader

265 notes · View notes

loveforsatoru · 3 months

Text

Our Blue Spring- Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader (Chapter 7: Reconnecting)

It was still pouring rain as you continued kissing underneath the moonlight before reluctantly pulling away for air.

Nothing was said, nobody spoke. The sounds of the party going on are muffled as you two stood in your own bubble. It’s like the rest of the universe doesn’t exist. Satoru could die a happy man right now, keeping you close to his chest, silently worshiping your delicate and angelic features.

You feel shy under his gaze, your cheeks flushing the more he looks at you. There wasn’t a single ounce of hatred in his eyes. He didn’t curse you or belittle you for leaving. He thanked you for coming back. You didn’t expect it. He waited for you for 7 years. He was completely devoted. Even if you never came back, you’re sure he would die before giving his heart to another. In his mind, nobody is qualified enough to have his heart besides you. His heart only wants you.

It was so overwhelming, you began to cry, but he didn’t yell. He didn’t tell you to stop crying. He didn’t tell you that you had no reason to be crying, you shouldn’t be upset because you were the one who left. No, he didn’t do any of that.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so humiliated. I’m so sorry for leaving. I shouldn’t have done that. I was stupid.” You spoke between gasps and choked sobs which only made his chest hurt. No matter what, he’d always care for you. No matter how many times you leave, tell him it won’t work out or distance yourself, he’d welcome you right back home with open arms because his embrace is your home.

“Shh, it’s okay, don’t cry.” He gently pulls you closer towards him, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears with the pads of his thumb, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Aren’t you mad? How do you not hate me?” You looked up at him with a look he knew all too well. Glassy eyed, cheeks stained with tear streaks, and swollen lips as you let out small huffs, trying to control your emotions and steady your breathing.

“I’m not mad. I could never hate you. You could tell me 100 times over that you want nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t stop loving you.”

“But I left you.”

“And you came back. That’s all that matters.”

Hearing him say that made guilt wash over your body, hitting you like a truck. There are still many unresolved problems in your life. You can’t promise to stay by his side, but you’ll try.

“Where are you staying tonight?” He asks, playing with the ends of your now wet hair, a habit he never let go of.

“Shoko’s.”

“Tell her you’re coming with me. We have a lot to talk about.”

You nod as he takes your hand, leading you away from the party to the train station.

His fingers lace with yours so perfectly, almost engulfing your hand entirely. You missed the feeling of being with him, next to him.

“So tell me..” He began.

“Hm?”

“Why’d you leave?” The question came out calmly, but in reality, his heart is racing, dying to know.

“I had some personal issues that I needed to resolve.”

He looks down at you and cracks a small smile.

“Cmon, don’t you think I deserve an explanation? I wanna know everything that happened while you were gone.”

You furrow your brows, unsure of how to put it in words without making yourself out to be an idiot.

“I felt stuck.”

“In our relationship?”

“No, not at all. That was what delayed my move in the first place.”

He nods at your words, putting a hand on the small of your back as he leads you into the train. You both sit down and he drapes an arm around you, leaning your head on his chest.

“Go on.”

“Being a jujutsu sorcerer wasn’t for me. It wasn’t the kind of life I wanted. I felt that by staying in Japan, working in that field I would regret not pursuing what I wanted in the first place.”

“And what was that?” He made sure to be attentive while you spoke, wanting to really grasp what motivated you to pack up and disappear for all this time.

“Fashion. I had dreamed of becoming a fashion designer for years. Originally, I only planned to stay in Japan for 1-2 years to practice sorcery upon my parents request, but then I met you and it prompted me to stay longer. I watched too many things happen, lost people right before my eyes. And each time it did, I started to wonder if that was really what I wanted to continue doing for a lifetime before making the decision to move and pursue my dreams. I applied for a job in America, they accepted, offered to fly me out, so I took the deal. It was an opportunity I felt I couldn’t pass up.”

“Couldn’t you have talked it out with me? We could’ve figured something out. I wouldn’t have a problem moving to be with you.”

While he understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t blame you one bit because if you’re happy, then he’s happy, it just hurt him a little to hear that you couldn’t go to him about it.

“That’s the problem. I knew you would drop everything to be with me, but it wouldn’t be the right thing for you to do. You’re needed here. You’re the strongest. Who knows what could’ve possibly happened if you decided to come with me? We had two different things going for us in life. It just wouldn’t work out.”

He doesn’t know how to respond. You’re right and he can’t deny that.

“I get it. So, what do you do for work?”

“I have my own clothing line.”

“Really? And how’s that going?”

“Amazing. It’s gotten pretty big. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about it. It’s why I flew back in the first place. My manager thought it’d be a good idea to expand the company worldwide.”

“Huh? Good for you. I’m proud of you. I couldn’t possibly blame you for leaving if it were to follow your passion and make a good living out of it.”

“So you’re saying you would be mad at me if I had any other reason?” You say, sarcastically, knowing he would still love you no matter the reason.

“Yup. I would fall in love with another and forget about you.” He laughs, darting his tongue out and poking at your side, making you jolt.

“Stop tickling me!” You laugh in between breaths and attempt to claw at his wrist.

The sounds of both your laughter fill the quiet train. Some people turn to look at you, but neither of you care. You’ve missed being able to laugh and smile with each other after so long.

“Okay, okay, try to sleep for a little while. You’re probably tired since you flew in early in the morning and the train won’t get to Tokyo for another hour and a half.” He says, releasing the hold he had on your sides to tuck you comfortably into him like he used to.

You happily curl into him, attempting to make yourself as warm as possible with his body heat. You’re completely worn out and he realizes that.

Immediately, you’re fast asleep Your breathing is heavy as your chest heaves up and down, enjoying the familiarity and comfort of his hold.

He strokes strands of hair away to get a better look at your face. He traces his thumb along your cheek, over your plump lips down to your jawline before pulling out his phone and taking a picture. He wants to remember this.

#gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo fanfic #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x y/n #satoru x reader

74 notes · View notes

gabessquishytum · 3 months

Note

Sorry for a non-horny request lol, but I am going crazy with this idea. This is not exactly romantic but it's upto you if you want to make it such.

Warning: major character death

Morpheus de Endless, is a grumpy old man, who has a number of health issues. He also happens to be a best selling author of all time but he does have some controversies surrounding him, most notedly his high profile divorce with a famous artist with whom he had a son but the baby died only a year later. It is said that Mr. De Endless excused himself from his public life after this incident, still that didn’t stop him from suffering a lot under Rodrick Burgess in whose publishing company he worked. Now, at the age of 65, Morpheus de Endless is an isolated man who only lets his doctor visit him once a week.

And then, his family decides that he needs a caretaker. A decision Morpheus absolutely hates because he can take care of himself, but still a care taker is hired. On Monday morning, a young man, probably in his late 20s or early 30s comes to his mansion and takes on all the responsibilities with ease. He is incharge of all the medicines, food (though Morpheus barely eats, taking Morpheus to parks to feed the birds and other things.

Morpheus doesn't like this new man, but he cannot argue with his elder sister about it anymore so he just settles on grumply leaving left over food on his plate or intentionally not having medicines.

Meanwhile, Hob is astonished by this man. It was as if a 10 year old lived in the body of a 60 something man. And Hob was trying really hard to make Mr. De Endless take care of himself, to keep himself alive. Because Hob knew, in fact on the first glance he knew, that Morpheus de Endless didn’t want to live anymore. So he tries his best.

Then one day, he blows up on Mr. De Endless, shouting that the man should at least try to look on the brighter side, to at least maintain a schedule instead of killing his body slowly everyday. And Morpheus understands miraculously. He doesn't like it, but to just make Hob’s job easier he improves his habits a bit. From here, things start getting easier, Morpheus genuinely enjoyes his trip to the park with Hob and even those conversations in the silence of the night in the comfort of his home office where Hob tells him about a family he had lost long ago and in return Morpheus tells him about his son, whom he dearly misses.

Now, here, either we can go for happy ending, or a bitter-sweet one. Personally I am all for some bitter-sweet cake so here we go: one morning, Morpheus wakes up and steals Hob’s bicycle. He has a camera with him which he used a lot in his youth and he uses it now after years to capture the beauty of modern London. He had not explored London like this in 20 years and his heart is full for the first time after losing his child. He also uses a pay phone to call his younger brother who lives in a separate country and they have a heartfelt conversation.

Then he returns home at evening only to be reprimanded by Hob and his elder sister for disappearing like that but Morpheus honestly doesn't mind. When the next morning Hob checks up on him he finds Morpheus dead in his bed. Of course a whole day of cycling for a man with heart conditions is bad news. But he did leave a letter behind for Hob, thanking him for making his last days better than ever.

Ah, thank you for sharing this with me!! It's such a sweet story. I really do love the idea of Hob being this positive spark in Morpheus’s life. He's retreated in on himself, grown used to being alone and become a little resentful of a world that doesn't seem to want him. Then Hob comes in with his stories, his gentle routine and his all around youthfulness. Morpheus finds it annoying: Hob is loud, careless, a little selfish. But then one day Hob has him sit down and flick through his old photos. And Morpheus recollects that he was also once loud, careless and selfish when he was young. He starts cutting Hob some slack, and Hob in turn also becomes more patient. He learns not to be frustrated by Morpheus’s moods, to be kind instead. They find things in common instead of bickering. Sometimes Hob stays the night with Morpheus and they talk about everything, or just fall asleep together. There's love between them now, and it really doesn't matter what kind of love. They both needed it.

Poor Hob. Losing Morpheus is so unexpected, because he was sure that despite his frailty he would live a little longer. He could have had 20 years. Hob sits with the birds and just cries and cries because he loves Morpheus so much and they barely even had a year together.

But he has the camera, and that evidence of Morpheus’s last day. Pictures of strangers and buildings and pigeons. They all mean so much and they're bursting with love. Hob will hang onto those. And he's not sure if and when, but one day he'll hold Morpheus’s hand again, and they'll look at the pictures together.

#the sandman #dreamling #cw major character death #cw grief

59 notes · View notes

ellseasp · 2 months

Text

W/n; I cried way too hard making this

Sorry if the grammar is off I couldn't be bothered fixing it. 3.1K words

WARNINGS: This does have intense topics about PTSD, Trauma, etc. Please read at your own risk and all of these are just my OPINION.

Let’s talk about trauma! Before I get into this I will say this; I am not a phycologist, nor do I have proper training, this is a subject I am very passionate about and something I have studied under my own terms/things I’ve learnt from previous therapy sessions and group meetings :)

Ellie’s trauma and my opinion on it.

The first thing we will discuss is the “window of tolerance” (something I learned in therap) . Everyone has got a window of how much they can tolerate during a stressful situation or a situation with a lot of emotions. If someone is in a “hyperarousal” state that person can become aggressive, agitated, hyper vigilant, or have risky and destructive behavior, this is what we call a “fight response”. If people are in a “hypo arousal” state this is when the person can become more depressed and anxious, getting put into a “freeze response”...

Ellie’s life throughout part 1 of The Last of Us -

During the show we are met with Ellie and her mom, her mom had unfortunately been bitten and was killed soon after. This is where we are met with the first PTSD for Ellie. The first person she built “a bond” with is our mother, naturally we are very social creatures so not being able to build a bond with a parent will cause problems later on in life such as; having abandonment issues, having trouble to connect with other people because she has this fear that whoever she gets close with will die or leave her.

During the game we get to meet Marlene who was a close friend of Ellie’s mom, and had raised Ellie throughout her child-hood/early teenage-hood, this is where she got paired with Joel and Tess, in this scene is where you can see her “PSTD state” being triggered she didn’t want to go with Joel or Tess, because Marlene was someone who she created a strong bond with. Before we get introduced to Joel or Tess, Ellie had a friend called Riley who was someone she also created a bond with, Riley was someone who had joined the fireflies and escaped from FEDRA. Ellie had assumed that Riley had died from her random disappearance, Riley had then shown up to see Ellie and they went on an adventure together before Riley had left permanently to join the Fireflies, during this time Ellie had her first kiss with Riley and shared some very important moments with her. During this time infected had gotten to Ellie and Riley and bit Riley and Ellie, this was where we got to see the some-what first mentioning of Ellie’s immunity to the cordyceps- During this time of Riley and Ellie being bitten Riley had told Ellie that they should “wait it out” and “go insane together” Ellie was immune, she didn’t know that and nor did Riley, the saddest thing about the first stages of infected (called runners) is that they are aware that they are infected but they aren’t able to control themselves, so Riley had gotten infected and started turning but Ellie wasn't turning, so with that being said Ellie would’ve had to kill Riley so she wouldn’t continue to turn-

–

Joel and Tess had taken Ellie as “cargo” but obviously they all had created a bond with each other, mainly Joel with Tess as they were very close with each other. We are then met with another problem, Tess had gotten bitten and was already starting to turn, Ellie figured it out pretty quickly after Tess was acting weirdly and obviously she had created a bond with Tess so she didn’t want her to leave them/die, this is when we are met with Ellie’s PTSD, the fear of people leaving her….

Sam and Henry, she is also met with Sam and Henry who are two brothers who they met in Pittsburgh; Sam and Ellie were similar in age so they had created a strong bond with each other. Sadly Sam had gotten bitten on their journey, Sam had asked Ellie “what are you afraid of” to which Ellie replied with “of ending up alone” this is when we saw Ellie in a more vulnerable state, her PTSD side showing through more. This is when we look back to her mom, Sam, Marlene and soon enough Sam, in the show Ellie had tried to give her blood to Sam trying to save him from the infection. In the game, Ellie wasn’t aware that he was infected until Henry had asked her to go get him so they could all have breakfast, Sam had tried to jump onto Ellie to “infect her” this is when Ellie’s flight or fight had kicked in and she was trying to get him off of her, Joel had tried to kill Sam but Henry had shot near him so he wasn’t able to…. Henry in the end shot Sam, obviously upset he had then killed himself. (they really meant it when they said the last of us)

The next scene we will jump to is when Ellie and Joel had their argument about Ellie trying to run away, she had done this to avoid the pain of being abandoned again. We are met with a somewhat angry Ellie who had found out that Joel wanted to get rid of her, yet again another trauma response to her previous traumatic experiences .

When Ellie had said “I’m not her you know?” that had really hit a spot for Joel because of his past traumatic experience of losing his daughter Sarah. “I’m sorry about your daughter Joel but I have lost people to” to which joel replies with “you have no idea what loss is”

“Everyone I have cared for either died or left me, everyone fucking except for you” which is yet again another trauma response from losing her mom, Riley, Sam, Henry etc. From her point of view she is basically saying that she has somewhat formed a bond with Joel and doesn’t want him to leave, if he had left this would’ve caused some bigger problems for Ellie in her early developing stages of life.

I won’t get too much into the situation with David but a quick overview of what happened, David was someone who Ellie had met whilst trying to hunt because Joel had injured himself pretty badly and she was trying to keep him alive. David was a pedophile the easiest way to say it, during this time Ellie had gotten onto a machete and killed David, Joel then had to get her off because she was so stuck in this fight response in order to protect herself from David.

It was definitely a big time for Ellie when Joel had gone to comfort her because she was in such a vulnerable state and because he was there for her it immediately strengthened their bond together. The next scene we will talk about from The Last of Us part 1 is the giraffe scene, this is where Joel had found a giraffe and encouraged Ellie to come say hi to it which also created a stronger bond with him because it was his father figure side coming out. Once Joel had taken Ellie out of the hospital he had continued to lie to her because he needed his heart to be fixed, so to protect her from the truth that they COULD’VE made a cure he lied and said that there was a lot of other immune people and that Ellie wasn’t the only one

The last of us Part 2 - Ellie’s story

The beginning scenes we are met with Ellie listening to music and then Joel comes in to talk to her. Ellie had known from her gut and the way he was saying everything that he was lying but she also wanted the truth to come out.

Joel had played a song that is a song that Ellie will come back to a lot during her trauma and other experiences because it was him trying to continue to form a bond with her and he is basically now Ellie’s dad, so this is definitely something she will hold onto for a long time.

The next scene we jump to is when Joel is getting tortured by Abby and she sees this is when we see Ellie going into a dorsal/hyper-aroused state and her fight and flight instincts kick in. Her first immediate reaction to this is to fight, Nora and the other guy pin her down so she isn’t able to move putting her into a more hypo-aroused state and the only thing she can do is to shake and scream, this is also a prime example of her attachments to Joel not once in her life did she ever beg, with David she would always insult/rile the other person up but when it came to Joel this was the only time that Ellie had actually ever begged someone to not do something.

Once Abby has killed Joel (for all the people who have played the game) you can hear a lot of ringing and you're not actually able to hear anything that the other people are saying. This is a good example of the parasympathetic nervous system, Ellie was being held down and her heart rate was increasing but the body knows you are at risk of having a heart attack so it’s the body's way of calming yourself down so that doesn’t happen. This is also when her freeze response hits, it’s definitely a prime example of the “fawn” response which is when your more in a people pleasing mindset and start to accept everything for what’s happened , not to mention that this is also a PTSD response where her mind is reminding her body of what it felt like to lose somebody, her “abandonment trauma” even if he wasn’t intentionally trying to abandon her it’s still a traumatic response.

We then see Ellie on her bed sitting down whilst Tommy is knocking at her door, this is a good example of being in a hypo-aroused state which is when her body started to shut down more, accepting everything that has happened, being super brain foggy and not being able to tell the difference between reality and dream (dissociation). Another thing to note is because Ellie wasn’t able to do anything in the situation of Joel’s death she definitely entered a freeze response which is where her entire nervous system decides “hey, let’s check out” and she won’t be able to process that trauma because she’s still grieving and is still in a hypo-aroused state.

When Dina and Ellie go out across Seattle you will find a music store to which Ellie goes into and finds a guitar and starts to play the song that Joel had played to her in the beginning of the game, this is the closest thing she has to Joel still. This is what we call “resourcing”. Dina had found out that Ellie was immune and one of her responses was that “I can’t make you immune either” This is a statement that Ellie has a lot of guilt over because she isn’t able to make Dina immune.

Ellie had found another guitar and went straight to that for resourcing a way to feel closer to Joel.

Ellie’s 15th birthday

This is another very special moment for Ellie which is where she and Joel spend time together on her birthday. Ellie had found a rocket-ship simulator in a museum and her and Joel go into it and Joel pulls out a music tape which was yet again another very important moment for her as she felt super close to Joel and was in a relaxed mindset

Ellie had stumbled across a painting that has the fireflies symbol on it saying “LIARS” this is another cool example of how trauma can leak into the best memories we’ve had.

Finding and Killing Nora

This is another scene where she had some-what turned into Joel, with Ellie being in a hyper-aroused state. Where she was agitated, aggressive and wanted to hurt the person who had helped kill Joel. The scene after she had killed Nora and she was outside the building Dina and Jesse where in, she was shaking which was her flight response kicking in, she was getting ready to run away from danger to protect herself. Dina had looked after Ellie still very shaken up and crying, we hear that Ellie says “I don’t want to lose you” she genuinely meant it and she was definitely very guilty about what has happened so far, another really big bonding scene for Dina and Ellie.

The hospital scene where Ellie runs away and leaves Joel a note During this scene we get to see Ellie figuring out the truth and that Joel has been lying to her, even though she KNEW he was lying she was trying to get him to admit it.

“You don’t get to leave me a goddamn note” which is something that Joel says, Ellie then pushes him away because she’s angry and isn’t okay with the situation because she has been trying to get Joel to talk to her for so long and admit the truth. There was definitely a lot of anger and guilt on Ellie’s side because she was probably thinking about what COULD’VE happened to the world if she was given the chance to be used to help make a vaccine

When she killed Owen and Mel

This was definitely a big trauma response to when she had lost Joel going into that hyper-aroused state, fawn response and guilt, she had killed Mel who was pregnant, she was definitely thinking about Dina in that moment because Dina was pregnant and not only that but it’s also because she had killed a pregnant women (nobody likes her anyways so it doesn’t matter) and an unborn baby we see Ellie not being able to breathe correctly and the ringing in her ears again.

When Abby is about to kill Dina

This is definitely more on Abby's side of the story which is something we’ll get into if you guys want me to write up about Abby’s side of the story, Abby had been put into a flight or fight response and Ellie had said “she’s pregnant” to which Abby replied back with “good” and then Lev joins in and says “Abby” abby then looks up at Lev and Lev isn’t accepting of the situation so she pushes Dina away and chooses to let them go.

When Ellie has the panic attack at the farm

When Ellie tries to get the sheep into the barn and the lamb knocks over the farming tools we see a very faint flashback to an image of Joel getting tortured which immediately puts Ellie into a “hyper-arousal” state, she immediately starts to hyperventilate. The door closes and Ellie is immediately met with the ringing in her ears again the same ringing she heard when Joel died and killed Mel, she tried to run down the stairs and get to Joel, but the door was locked. This is a great example of what a PTSD flashback can be like, when she heard the lamb knock over those tools her mind brought her back to the traumatic experience of Joel’s death.

Now for the best part, when Ellie finds Abby tied up- Ellie’s original plan was to kill Abby and or Lev because she’s in so much pain and she’s still grieving- Throughout the game if you go into her drawing book you see that she isn’t able to draw Joel’s eyes anymore because she has “forgotten” what they look like… When Ellie sees Abby picking up Lev you can see that Ellie is then starting to realize that Abby is “Joel” and Lev is “Ellie” you can see in her eyes that she doesn’t want to kill and she is starting to forgive, when we get the last fight scene we are then met with another slight PTSD flashback of when Ellie sees the blood on her T-shirt, she immediately goes into a fight response and wants to hurt Abby for what she’s done. Ellie is starting to kill Abby by this point and we are then met with another slight flashback of Joel, with the same ringing in her ears, she was starting to go into a dissociative state again. Ellie knew at this point that if she didn’t let Abby go she probably would’ve lost Joel forever so she decided to let her go. When Ellie says “go, just take him” I don’t think she was talking about Lev in this situation but taking Joel with her so the pain will stop.

When Ellie arrives back at the farm it is shown that Dina isn’t there anymore, she immediately goes back to the guitar for resourcing and helps her nervous system calm down. The ending of the game we are met with another flash back with Joel and Ellie talking, to her this probably would’ve put some peace to her grieving still, at the very end we can see that Ellie puts Joel’s guitar down and in my opinion for Ellie this is her going; “Okay, what I’m doing isn’t working. Fighting my way out of the situation isn’t working, it’s not helping me, it’s not helping anyone. I need to let you go” and so she let him go.

In regards, I have not yet done Abby’s side of her PTSD but I will get into that if anyone would like me to and I’ll reupload it as Abby’s side and Ellies side- For anyone still wondering I do think Ellie was in the wrong, Abby had let her and Tommy live because she didn’t want to be like Joel, she didn’t want to be worse than Joel. Instead of Ellie staying and learning how to deal with her trauma she tried to get revenge on the person who had hurt her most (Abby) Ellie had killed around 150 people throughout Seattle to try to get to Abby, this is why when people have severe PTSD like Ellie it affects relationships like with Dina, Dina left in results to Ellie not working through her PTSD. Ellie had chosen revenge over Dina which is a massive sign of her PTSD and not being in a great headspace- Although, I do feel really bad for Dina, unfortunately there isn’t a lot about Dina’s backstory etc. But from what I can gather from the game Dina was constantly in a “fawn-state” where she agreed with everything Ellie had said/done because she didn’t want her to leave or whatever.

Ellie was in the wrong, Abby wasn’t :)

MY SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ANYONE WHO WAS SOBBING THROUGH THIS I WAS TOO BUT IT NEEDED TO BE TALKED ABOUT

I will tag people in the comments coz it's not working for some reason rn

#ellie imagine #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x you #ellie x fem reader #the last of us #joel miller #joel and ellie #trauma #ptsd

46 notes · View notes

akutasoda · 8 months

Note

hello! may i request a enemies troupe with chuuya nakahara? in which the reader has an electricity based ability, and during an incredibly deadly battle, it starts to rain. reader has to resort to drastic measures, and uses the rain to conduct the electricity, making the entire zone filled to the brim with electricity, and even causing a power outage in yokohama. the downside is, in order to not shock the port mafia subordinates and chuuya in the cross fire, she has to activate a certain part of her ability that completely consumes her mind when it’s in use, similarly to how chuuya uses corruption. so, in short, she goes into a uncontrollable fit of fury and violent behavior, destroying anything near her, no longer recognizing who she was against. no one can even approach her due to the outline of electricity covering her figure. this goes on until her ability is nullified, or she is rendered unconscious. sorry for the specific details! i just figured that i would have to add on a bit since this topic could be a bit confusing. (also the electricity overworked her and she ends up on the verge of death but shes ok hehe I LOVE ANGST)

pain is not easy to endure

synopsis - even within a rivalry, if the one is really suffering does the other pull through and help?

includes - chuuya

warnings - fem!reader (she/her pronouns), reader is part of the port mafia - executive, lots of angst, little to no comfort, physical fighting, injury description, mentions of losing control of one's body, wc - 915

a/n: anon i absolutely loved this, the idea and writing it, i too absolutely love angst :)

your rivalry with chuuya haas been around ever since you had started out your career in the port mafia. you had first started out when you were still around 17-18, you had joined just after some executive disappeared, who? you have no idea but he seemed pretty important.

this mysterious executive also seemed to of had a prior rivalry with chuuya. seeing as you often heard chuuya grumbling about something to do with blowing up a vehicle?? you had no idea. and it never concerned you. however something about chuuya just infuriated you to no end and it seemed the feeling was mutual.

you had caught up to chuuya in rankings rather quickly. and that annoyed him. you the newcomer with some kind of potential he personally didn't see and now you were close to being on an even rank to him.

he also just seemed to want to pick a fight with you for whatever reason. so it was safe to say neither of you wanted to get along and had formed quite the rivalry, often even refusing to go on missions with the other. eventually you would have to. something about bosses orders or whatever.

and that little fued had led all the way up until the present. practically getting worse by the years. you both were now executives and quite well respected. but somewhere along the line a quite deadly underground ability weilding organization was affecting the port mafia. from imposing upon their turf to sabotaging imports.

and thus as a quite troubling issue they had sent out someone to deal with it as quick as possible. however in a cruel fashion they had shown that they had allianced with other small groups and had destroyed the unit sent to deal with them. it wasn't looking to well.

so to avoid more casualties you and chuuya were sent in with some other lower ranking agents. normally you two would resist, chuuya often saying something about how 'i would rather die than woek with her again'. but you two knew you're limits and with bitterness and silent anger you got on with it.

but it was proving to be difficult for both of you to deal with. and after a while and a huge amount of losses of both sides things were just getting worst. chuuya had left you to finish off one section while he tried to get rid of the others. but the crackle of lightning was getting louder and more ferocious.

as the rain came pouring down you saw an opportunity. it was a terrible idea but you'd be dammed if more people died on your end. chuuya could sense the static. he knew what was about to happen. you had managed to channel your electricity through to the rain causing a significant increase in what could only be flashes of lightning consistently.

and as much as you wished for it hot strike chuuya down, you reckoned you get quite a bit of telling off for killing him. that and you had your subordinates to protect so in the most difficult position you had to try your best to make sure your ability hit no one on your side.

however lights were flickering off at an alarming rate in yokohama. but people could hardly tell from the constant light of electricity. you had never used you ability in this way for this long before and it was slowly nulling your ability to think. your mind was clouding and your grasp on your ability started slipping now attacking anyone with reach and even destroying everything in sight.

chuuya recognised this state. it made his heart turn and his body fill with worry. was this how he acted in corruption? he knew it wasn't corruption but it seemed all to familiar to not be similar. he could hear subordinates running away claiming 'she's out of control' or 'she's going to kill us all' and no matter how much he seemed to hate you and antagonize you constantly. he couldn't let you suffer like this. not when he understood what was happening to you.

he knew what you were going through and that made it even more painful to watch. he needed to help you.

but how could he help? your body was radiating electricity forming a outline around you that he knew for sure he wouldn't be able to touch and anything that moved you targeted. normally in his corruption state a certain mackerel would help him out of it but he hated him more than you. plus he wanted to save you himself.

your mind was spiralling and you could feel your body shutting down but couldn't do anything, it was like you were a bystander in your own demise. you felt so helpless, but by some miracle or pure stoke of luck chuuya had managed to use his ability to stop you in your tracks and your body almost hit the ground with force if he hadn't caught you.

your body looked practically scorched with severe burns, eyes unfocused and clouded over and your breathing was heavily laboured practically not even there but it was still there! he had a chance to save you.

not long after he had managed to get you urgent care, things started looking up for you. perhaps after all this maybe he could be a bit nicer to you. and it went without saying you had absolutely destroyed the enemy (and half your subordinates).

#x reader #x female reader #bsd x reader #bsd x female reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya x reader

112 notes · View notes

silentglassbreak · 2 months

Text

Fragmented

Noah Sebastian x OFC

Please don’t hate me…but it’s gonna get worse. 😬

Warnings: Nothing crazy, just a lot of wanting to rip your own hair out.

+It goes without saying. This is a work of fiction. My words are mine. Plagiarism is a crime.

Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86

Part 3 - Drowning

One thing I’ve always prided myself on, is my innate ability to avoid an issue as long as humanly possible. Maybe that’s not a good thing? Maybe it’s just delaying an inevitable issue? That being said, in this particular situation, my problem was a person, and her name was Rachel.

So, naturally, I was avoiding her like the mother fucking plague.

I’m only a human, and a man, at that. I am not blind, I see the issue at hand. I’m attracted to her. And that’s a fucking problem. I could go down the list of reasons why that is a problem, and I have, hundreds of times, over the last three days. However, I decided very quickly after our last encounter that the best possible option was to keep a wide enough distance, not be obvious about it, and survive until I made it back to California and in the arms of the only person I know can make the problem disappear.

I had this plan, and although, with all of my certainty, I knew that it’s not the best one, to see Mileena after the show in San Diego, and have some very serious PDA in front of everyone.

Now, that wasn’t out of the norm for Leena and I, as it was pretty clear to everyone that we were wild for each other. So badly that the other members of our group were sometimes uncomfortable by it.

Then, once I had Mileena to myself, before I allowed anything fun to happen, I would tell her.

I would tell her about Rachel; my giving her a ride home, her answering the door nearly naked, inviting me in to her room.

Might leave out the part where I jerked off to her face, and body, and black boy shorts that barely covered her.

That was what I would take to my grave.

So, imagine my chagrin when Rachel spent the three days following the excursion trying to fucking corner me.

It started with a text I woke up to.

Rachel: Noah…can we talk?

Absolutely not.

The next text came once we were on the bus, and I was safely locked into my bunk.

Rachel: Are you asleep?

Yup.

Then, once we made it to the venue in Atlantic City, and were finishing up the M&G, the next one came.

Rachel: Noah, I really need to talk to you before the show. It’s important.

I sent Nick to go find her, to see if it was a tech issue. I hardly felt like I could handle that again, with all of this other nonsense swirling around in my head. It wasn’t, and she asked where I was.

Nick, none the wiser, sent her to the green room. When I saw the door open, a flash of blonde hair behind it, I slipped into the bathroom.

I heard her sigh heavily, and then the next text came in. This one gave me pause.

Rachel: Well, clearly you’re avoiding me, so I guess I’ll just text you. I just wanted to tell you that I am so fucking sorry. I wish I could say I don’t know what came over me, but I do. Alcohol and absolute insanity. Noah, please believe me when I tell you that I know you are in a relationship, and respect the hell out of that. What happened last night will never happen again. I just don’t want this to ruin our friendship or work relationship. Hopefully this text makes you open to talking after the show.

By this time, I had long since turned my read receipts off, and just stared at the message.

I almost replied. Almost. But, my sane mind taking over, slipped my phone back into my pocket instead.

We didn’t stay at a hotel. Rather, we showered at the venue, and were back on the road within two hours after the show had ended. We had an painfully long drive back to San Diego, so we had to get moving fast.

I laid in my bunk, headphones blasting Sleep Token’s latest album, and was feverishly texting Leena.

I had hoped she hadn’t picked up on my extra-neediness since the night prior, and just chalked it up to me being homesick.

Leena: Addie is walking more. She took twelve straight steps today without falling down!

Me: Oh FUCK YEAH. My little fucking rockstar!

Leena: She misses you so much.

Me: I miss her too. I miss you both more than life itself. But after SD, I’m done touring for at least six months. Probably will never tour again so I don’t miss you guys so much.

Leena: Oh you’re so cute when you lie.

I couldn’t tell if the text was cold or not?

Me: I’m serious. I can’t do this shit without you guys. I’m missing so many of Addie’s milestones.

Leena: We’ll see baby. And I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ve got to get some sleep. I love you, Noah.

Me: I love you more, Leena.

Leena: Promise?

Me: Always.

I had been catching up on the newest season of Stranger Things when I noticed the bus was quiet. I checked the time and saw it was nearly 3AM. I heard and felt no movement about the hallway, so I carefully slid my bunk door open, and hopped out. I was dying for some water and had to pee something fierce.

I froze coming to the end of the hall, noticing a blue light emitting from the couch in the front. I realized quickly it was Folio, and took a relieving breath. I approached him, but he didn’t acknowledge me.

“Hey, late night?” He was staring at his laptop screen, clicking away at the keys.

“Mmm.” Was the only response I received.

I decided disturbing him was probably not the best idea, so I slipped into the bathroom silently. When I stepped back into the hall, he was no longer seated, and was standing at the fridge with the door open.

“I think Nick ate my fucking lunchable.”

I snorted, reaching in next to him for a water bottle. “Probably.”

I cracked the cap and took a long pull. Folio eventually closed the door with a huff, and looked directly at me.

“So,” His eyes were oddly serious, not something I see much in Nick Folio. I raised an eyebrow.

“So?”

“Are you and Rachel just not speaking anymore, or…?”

I felt my heart drop down into my feet, my stomach simultaneously wrapping in a tight knot.

“What do you mean?” I kept myself cool.

“Well, she’s been asking for you, and we keep sending her your way, but she somehow never seems to find you?” His voice had a deadly evenness to it that made my skin crawl. Unless he lived in my brain, what the fuck could he possibly know?

“Well, it was a busy day.” I took another swig of my water to hopefully hide my uneasiness.

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “Yeah? I guess.”

I nodded, hoping that was the end of it. Until he spoke again.

“You guys seemed friendly at the club the other night.”

That was it. Put a bullet between my fucking eyes.

Despite all of my efforts to hide the absolute terror I felt, I knew instantly that it was showing through. He raised his brows in response.

I tried to answer, but choked a little on the residual water in my mouth. I cleared my throat and closed the bottle.

“I just gave her a ride, dude.”

Nick eyed me from head to toe, not buying it.

“Yeah? Cause she seemed real sure about what was going to go down that night. Then you disappeared for an hour.”

My eyes blasted open. “What did you just say?”

Folio tossed his hands up in defense to my sharp tone. “Listen man, I’m no snitch. Not saying I’m going to go crying to Leena about it, but you may not want to shit where you sleep - you get me?”

My jaw had hit the floor, broken through the bottom of the bus, and was tearing along the Indiana asphalt beneath us,

“Folio, you’ve fucking lost it, dude!” He shook his head in amusement, clearly not believing me. “Nothing fucking happened with Rachel! I gave her a fucking ride. That’s it!”

My voice rose, so I instantly brought it back down, not wanting to alert the six other people sleeping.

He nodded then, his body language changing slightly. “Yeah?” He put his hand out to me, fist pushed forward. “On God?”

I bumped his fist. “On God, Buddha, Odin, or whatever other deity. Nothing fucking happened.”

He sighed. “Okay. I believe you dude.” I sighed in relief. “But Noah?” I glanced back up at his face. “If you’re telling the truth, then you should know, she said some pretty graphic shit about you at the bar. Claiming she had you wrapped around her finger, and she could get you into bed. Even with Mileena in the picture.” He glanced knowingly down the bus hallway.

“Watch out for that, dude. I thought Rachel was cool. I might’ve even had a thing for her. But hearing the way she talked about you? Something ain’t right.”

The salty, warm air of San Diego wrapped its arms around us as we stepped off of the bus at the hotel. It was refreshing, being so close to the finish line. Aside from my own bout of homesickness, I could see the guys were exhausted, and we were all ready for the post-tour coma, and being in the comfort of our own homes.

The hotel check-in process was tedious. Rachel stood at the counter, handing out keys as the attendant handed them to her.

“Nick.” He snatched his and walked back over to where I stood, waiting. “Folio.”

He took his card without looking at her. Something told me he was a little more than salty about this entire debacle.

“Jolly.” Only one left. “And, Noah.”

When my fingers took the key, her head whipped over and her eyes pierced up at me. I averted my gaze, plucking the card out of her hand, and intended to head to my room immediately.

“Hey! Who let these misfits in here?!”

Everyone’s heads whipped around, looking for the source of the voice. Her eyes were the first thing I caught, a day-breaking smile tearing across my face.

Mileena and Laura were walking through the lobby, waving at us. As soon as Mileena saw me, she broke out in a run. She always did when we were away for so long. It was one of her hopeless romantic traits that I indulged in at every opportunity.

I immediately unshouldered my backpack and began jogging toward her. Her body slammed into mine with only a force she could accomplish. My arms instinctively wrapped around her, securing her right into place against my chest.

I immediately got a face full of her midnight black hair, the scent invading my senses. She smelled like rose hips, fresh brewed coffee, Addison, and home. An overwhelming sense of ease washed over my skin.

Jesus fucking Christ, I love this girl.

She pulled herself back far enough to press her face against mine, her lips mashing mine in a frantic attempt to get as close as possible. My own fought back, nipping her bottom lip, before hers turned up into a smile.

“Thank fuck. I have been dying.” I croaked out.

Setting her feet on the ground, her arms snaked around my midsection, between the lapels of my jacket, burying the side of her face into my chest.

“Not as bad as I have.” Her words were a mumble.

“Look, we get it. You love each other. All star-crossed and shit.” We turned to look at Folio, who was smirking. “But do the rest of us get any love?”

She pulled away from me then, quickly wrapping Folio in an airtight hug. “Ah, I missed you too, punk.”

He chuckled at her and let her go. She made her rounds, even giving Rachel a one-armed embrace, which is when I noticed the look of humiliation on her freckled-face. Standing against Leena, my brain seemed to snap right back into place.

There was no contest. Mileena was stunning. Drop fucking dead mouthwatering. Rachel was…not.

After she made her way back over to me, I slung an arm easily over her shoulders, pulling her close enough to press a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“I thought you guys weren’t coming until tonight?” Nick was standing questionably close to Laura, which caught my eye immediately.

The latter shrugged, and pointed to Leena. “She showed up at my house at 9AM, insisting we leave sooner.”

“Best decision, honestly.” Was all I added.

We all began our trek toward the elevators, stepping in together. My room was on the second floor, so Leena and I stood at the front.

“Guys, I, uh, get you haven’t seen each other in three months, but,” Jolly’s voice was awkward. “we’ve only got like an hour until we have to head to the venue for sound check.”

The doors opened, and I nodded to my friend, acknowledging him. I then turned my head back to my girl, now standing outside the elevator, and flashed her a devilish grin.

“You better fucking run.”

Mileena has this way of moaning, and I can’t exactly describe how this is even possible, that sends a legitimate shiver up my spine. It’s chemical, the way her voice raises pitch and cracks at the end. How sometimes it’s my name rolling off her tongue, or just an incomprehensible noise, that makes me coil up and breath ragged. She has me by my fucking hair, and shows no signs of letting up.

Her eyes are always so wet, pleasure-soaked tears spilling down her cheeks, when she’s looking up at me whenever I’m burying myself inside of her.

She looks at me, not like she loves me, but like she knows me. Like she needs me. Like I’m the entire fucking universe and she is just spinning helplessly in some uneven orbit. It’s fucking unbelievable.

So when I finally reach my end, and am collapsed on top of her, fighting for air, I’m also peppering soft, affectionate kisses on her neck while she giggles tiredly.

“You’ve been so warm and fuzzy lately. I’m into it.”

I snicker into her skin, blowing warm air across her throat. “Can you blame me? I’m fucking obsessed with you.”

She sat up slowly, pulling herself away from me.

“And I, you, my love.” She stood off the bed, eyes searching the floor for her panties. “It just kind of came on suddenly. You sure you’re okay?”

She was concerned, which caused a lead brick to form in my gut. It’s guilt. I feel guilty.

“I mean, I’m fine.” I tried to waive a nonchalant hand to brush it off, but she still quirked her eyebrow the way she does, telling me I’m not getting away that easy.

“Yeah? Not very convincing there, Sebastian.” Her tone is playful, but there’s something under it.

“Just been a weird couple of days.”

She was pulling her leggings on. “How so?”

She was still so casual, but I know Mileena. She needed to know.

“Well-“ But before I could continue, there was a a loud banging on the door.

I fully expected to hear Jolly, or Nick, but instead, Rachel’s high-pitched whine came through the door.

“We’re leaving in 5 minutes, Noah! With or without you!”

I saw the face Leena made in response to the thick attitude laced in Rachel’s voice. “Damn, I wonder what’s got her so crabby?”

I sighed, and turned my back toward her while searching for my shirt. “Who knows.”

Soundcheck took way too long today, having to continuously stop for minute inconveniences. One of the laptops crashed, so we were at a complete standstill for about fifteen minutes. In that time, Nick and I decided to take a second look at the set list, trying to switch things up.

“Guys?” We both looked up to see her, galloping toward us, a stressed look on her face. Rachel was wearing a low-cut tee today, with black cargo pants and army boots.

“Listen, this computer is giving us a hell of a time, and I just don’t trust it. Would one of you run out to the bus and grab the backup?”

Nick stood up straight and gave a military salute, before jogging off the stage toward the side door. I chuckled and shook my head, looking back down at the clipboard in my hand.

“Changing it up tonight?”

I scanned the paper over and over, not looking up at her. “Thinking about it.”

“Why not play a song you haven’t played in a while?”

I looked up at her. “Like what?”

She pursed her lips, thinking. “Worst in Me?”

I shook my head. “Song blows live. Plus, we haven’t performed it in years. I doubt any of us even remember how.”

“Well, you pulled off The Fountain a while back.”

The sharpness of her tone struck a cord, so I dropped the clipboard on the amp I sat on, and stood up.

“We did.” I stood tall. I felt challenged.

“So why not play something else from that album?”

Her eyes had something in them. It almost looked like malice.

“Because we only played that song for a very specific reason.”

She scoffed. I almost couldn’t believe I heard it, but there it was.

“For Mileena, right?”

This made me narrow my eyes. Folio was right, something is off about her.

“Yep. For Leena.” My words held no room for argument.

She nodded her head slowly, lolling her tongue around between her teeth, before turning on her heel and walking toward Nick, who had re-entered with the computer in hand.

Something in the pit of my stomach burned, in a very bad, terrifying way.

What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

The show ran relatively smoothly. Mileena and Laura stood at the rails, making it easy to come undone more while she watched. We had a good time with our set, goofing around and enjoying ourselves.

After, I made no effort to hang around the green room. I was tired, and all I could think about was Leena, in sweats, wrapped in a hotel comforter, braid in her hair, stuffing her face with a burrito while we watched Stranger Things. It sounded heavenly.

Evidently, the rest of the crew felt similarly, as everyone decided to journey back to the hotel together. It didn’t take long, a short ride over from the venue. I had opted to ride with Laura and Leena, nearly bouncing out of my seat while we talked about the show.

“The crowd was fucking awesome tonight!” I say in the middle of the backseat, leaning between the driver and passenger’s seats, my arm draped over to hold Leena’s hand.

“It’s because we were there.” Laura was confident in her statement, which made Leena and I crack up.

“Oh definitely. You screaming ‘Fuck it up Folio’ really got’em going Lo.”

The ride was easy, and even fun. It helped me ignore the growing anxiety in my stomach.

I had been trying to push it back to the depths of my brain, the conversation. I knew it had to happen, but I couldn’t decide when. Originally, I had planned to tell her when we got back to the hotel; rip the bandage off, so to speak.

My selfishness wanted to wait, have a nice, relaxing night with her before we got home, and I gave her the full rundown.

The scariest part of it all? I had not a clue how she would react.

Mileena was anything but the jealous type. She had watched meet and greets with girls hugging me way too long, interviews where the host flirted with me, concerts where I was literally grabbed by women. It never fazed her. She never let a slip of the eyes, or a twitch of the lips. She always just smiled and told me I was a rockstar. It’s normal.

So she would understand this, right?

Waiting in the elevator was painful. The bus had beat us back to the hotel, and we all ended up, once again, together rising through the hotel. I felt my chest release the breath I had been holding once the door opened. I took Mileena's hand in mine, walking us down the hallway, and headed into our room.

She made herself comfortable, kicking off her Converse near the side of the bed, and flopping down on the blankets.

"Ugh, I'm so tired."

I snorted, pulling my shirt over my head. "Oh, yes. I know you must be so wiped from standing."

She tossed a pillow at me, that I caught and tossed back at her, laughing in the process.

"Listen here, buddy, I've been at home with that demon baby you made, for months!"

I feigned shock, grabbing my chest. "Demon baby? Nah, not my Addie."

She stood back up off of the bed, grabbing her backpack and pulling out her pajama pants.

"Oh please, she's insane, and you know it."

I shrugged. "I mean, she's highly intelligent. She can't help it."

She shook her head and shimmied out of her jeans, but paused before she put her pants on, scrunching her nose.

"Could I ask for a big favor?"

I rolled my eyes dramatically. "Yes, Leena, I'll let you wear my sweats."

She smacked at me with her pants. "No, dork. Can I please shower first?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You want me to join you?" I smirked, sticking my tongue out of the corner of my mouth.

"No." She was abrupt, and my face fell. She let out a sheepish grin. "My period started this afternoon after you left. It's pretty horrendous. Real horror movie shit. I'd rather be alone for that."

I pressed my lips in a tight line and nodded. "Fair enough."

I personally didn't care if she was bleeding, and she knew that, but she did, at least for the first few days, and I respected that.

She tip-toed over to me, and pressed a light kiss on my cheek, smiling sweetly. "Thank you, baby!" She scurried to the bathroom and hollered before shutting the door. "Out in a few!"

I sighed, sitting on the bed, and turned the TV on, flipping to the option for the streaming networks, pulling up Netflix and getting the show ready. I then pulled the fridge door open to see it was understocked, only one water bottle left, and no sodas.

"Babe?" I called from the bed, and made my way toward the bathroom. "The mini fridge is bare. I'm going to run down to the lobby and grab stuff from the snack bar."

"Ginger ale please!" She called from the shower.

"You got it."

I slipped my shirt back on and left the room, making my way toward the lobby. The snack bar was full of food, drinks, and regular amenities.

I grabbed myself a Dr. Pepper, a ginger ale for her, a 3 Muskateers, a bag of skittles, and four water bottles. After telling the attendant to charge it to my room, I was headed back up. It wasn't until after I got off the elevator, plastic bag rustling the only sound around, did I hear the footsteps behind me. I ignored them, continuing my stride toward my room.

"Noah!"

The voice made me stop, and groan loudly. "You've got to be kidding me." I didn't even bother hiding my irritation.

I whipped around, nearly colliding with the body behind me.

"What do you want, Rachel?"

She stepped back, eyes wide. "Gosh, could you at least act like you don't hate me?"

I sighed loudly. "Your room isn't on this floor. What do you need?"

My impatience was clear, and it was meant to be.

"You're still ignoring me! You can't just pretend I don't exist. We work together."

"We're not working together right now. So, technically, yes I can." I turned to walk away, but her hand caught my arm.

"Noah, Jesus Christ!"

I was fed up, wound up, and fucking over this.

"What, Rachel?!" My voice was loud, but I didn't care. She was going to make me be mean to her, but I'd do what I had to, to get my point across.

She took a step toward me. "We never talked after the other night!"

"What the fuck is there to talk about?!"

To that, she looked offended. "Are you kidding? You're seriously going to sit here and act like the night at the club was nothing?!"

"It was nothing! Just because you dreamt up some crazed fantasy in your head about me, doesn't mean that anything that happened that night meant anything!"

She huffed, and I could see the tears welling in her eyes. I felt no sympathy.

"We had fucking fun, Noah! For once, I felt like you actually noticed me!"

My eyes had to mock something like disbelief, because she shrugged, wiping at her eyes.

"We've been working together a while now. I get anything and everything you need, always. I take care of you guys on tour. We spend every damn day together! And after all this time, you just feel nothing?!"

If my eyes were any wider, they may actually fall out of my skull.

"Are you kidding me?!" I took a step back. "That is your fucking job! That's what we fucking pay you for!"

"Oh, and the other night, when you fucking came to my room? That was just part of my job?!" She narrowed her eyes, an anger shining through. "I saw the way you looked at me, Noah. The car ride? The club?" She shrugged. "You didn't feel anything?"

I scrubbed my palm over my face. "No, Rachel! I didn't! I'm in a fucking relationship? What the fuck happened to respecting that?!"

"It's hard to respect when you're shoving it in my fucking face!"

"Shoving it in your face?! Since when does the fucking world revolve around you?!" I squeezed my eyes shut. "For fucks sake, Rachel! You've lost it, or something."

"I know you fucking thought about it, Noah. Tell me you fucking didn't."

For no good reason whatsoever, I was frozen again. Her voice, her eyes on me, she had me fucking cornered. Because if I said no, I was lying. If I said yes, I was an asshole. I wasn't sure which I preferred in that moment.

Her lips curled in a vicious smile. "You did. You wanted to come in that night. You wanted me."

She was fucking sick. Insane. Out of fucking control.

I let my voice fall flat and even. "Rachel, I'm going to warn you, you're playing a dangerous game here." I straightened my spine, standing much taller than her. "And I will remind you, I am your employer."

She shook her head. "You going to fire me for telling you I have feelings for you? After you ogled me half-naked? Yeah, that'll go over well."

My jaw dropped. What the fuck? How the fuck did I get here?

I just wanted to lay in bed, snuggle my girl, and eat fucking candy and junk food. I wanted my daughter, and my dog, and my house. I wanted to not be here. I could feel my throat closing.

"Look, I'll give you space. But, just think about it, okay?"

And with that, she turned around and made her way back down the hallway.

I'm not sure how long I stood there, stoic and frazzled, trying to urge myself to move. I was one foot in the grave if I didn't get ahead of this. I needed to talk to Nick, or Jolly, or Folio, or Sumerian, or a lawyer. I let the gears in my head slowly start again before I finally managed to turn around back toward my room.

I took a deep breath, attempting to gather myself before I slipped the card in and pushed the door open.

"Care to explain that?"

Her voice was hard, cold, concrete. She stood, hair still dripping, my Shippuden tee shirt hanging loose around her shoulders, arms crossed tightly across her body.

"I...I uh," My voice came out stuttered and choked. I didn't have the right words to form. "She...I....We...." It wasn't working. I was trying so hard, but I was stuck.

"Hurry up, Noah. You've got thirty fucking seconds."

I stood corrected. I was already in my grave.

#noah sebastian #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens #noah sebastian fic #fanfic

52 notes · View notes