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#sorry for the sloppy handwriting
necrobratz · 7 months
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guys i have more charthur baby but now shes got AUNTIE SADIE AND UNCLE LENNY!!!!! also shez based off @manzanitapost ‘s fic series as always🤞
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belovdly · 2 years
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underneath cloudy skies;
a heated confession.
(inspired by this post)
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skullfragments · 5 months
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in which Crowley performs one more lil' demonic miracle
i've had this idea for a while now, and i finally decided to do something with the sketch i made
full disclosure: my comfort level with digital drawing is about 0.5% and i'm still figuring out how to translate my usual drawing style which is the main reason why this looks bad i have yet to venture into full color!
ALSO zero experience posting said digital work on tumblr so if the quality sucks pls help me fix it thanks <3
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Fanart of @bitterdevil s nearly 30 AU!!!
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laterlavender · 6 months
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Ok I like both Jubilee and The Emperor, would you be willing to talk more about their dynamic together?
Would I be willing? WOULD I BE WILLING??? OFC‼️
So Jubilee is kind of the mascot for Tav whenever I make BG3 stuff, so sometimes I make jokes about things that she didn't actually do in her 'canon' playthrough (She's like a marvel character she bc has 1 million AUs LMAO)
Her dynamic with the emperor is kind of a love-hate relationship. She likes him but is wishy washy about whether she trusts him or not. He convinced her to implant another tadpole, but she didn't take anymore because she didn't like what it did. Refused to take the astral-touched tadpole or make anyone else take it despite him pushing. Didn't even consider killing him for Vlaakith. But she heavily considered the likelihood of what Raphael told her about him even though she has no reason to believe Raphael. The cooperation & trust are unreliable
She didn't sleep with him, but If she hadn't started a relationship with Wyll she would have
Here are some silly comics that demonstrate their dynamic in a lighthearted way 🤲
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Thank you for allowing me to be obnoxious - I'm sending an edible arrangement your way rn 😭🩵
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barely-alive-shrimp · 11 months
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‘Ego, true-self, higher-self to non-self  Everything is neither begun nor ended, neither impure not pure, neither increasing nor decreasing’
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jamesvowles · 1 year
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saw this meme on twitter and thought i'd make one for me but f1 themed <3 here's to a good 2022!
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thegrimreepurr · 2 years
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hi
salutations
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tired-needs-sleep · 11 months
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they made her emo!! (and in a checkered style)
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recycled-phantoms · 1 year
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Character sheet WIP for Mel, yippee!
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dearharriet · 1 month
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could i request james potter x reader where james discovers reader’s small “j.f.p.” tattoo on her hip and he’s like !!! obsessed :D<3 ofc only if u feel like writing it love u 🦌
this is such a cute ideaaa !! ty for the request my darling, I hope you’re well! (wc: 860) (cw: non-sexual nudity)
You’d gotten it while James was away on a trip with friends. Not exactly a whim-of-the-moment thing, but neither was it entirely planned. You knew you wanted him on you somewhere, sometime, and then Marlene asked you to accompany her for a septum piercing…
The rest fell into place. There was a small postcard in your pocket that you’d pulled from your mailbox, with James’ scratchy handwriting detailing his excursions and how much he missed you. At the bottom, he’d signed his initials, and that was what you gave the artist for reference.
There was a week of marveling at it afterwards, tracing over it with your fingertips every time your shirt lifted and wondering what James would say. If he had come home a couple days earlier, you might’ve gone with your heart and shown him right away, but he didn’t.
So when James barreled through the door of your shared apartment, towing bags and gifts, you stayed silent.
The two of you had dinner, sat down for a movie that you didn’t watch. James described the whole trip and rubbed your feet and told you he missed you. You knew you couldn’t keep the tattoo a secret, but you couldn’t will yourself to bring it up, either.
Later in the night, when only your bedroom lamps were on anymore, James came back from the shower in a skimpy towel wrap.
“Babylove, I don’t think getting dressed is in the cards for me tonight.”
You were laying on the bed, one arm under your smooshed face and the other hanging limp over the side.
James went to the dresser, smiling at your drowsy eyes and kicking feet. You murmured something like ‘good’ before he dropped his towel.
“Yeah, good,” he teased, tugging a pair of boxers on.“‘Cept I think we oughtta even the playing field here.”
Curiously, you flipped onto your back to see James better. He was in the middle of crawling onto the bed, hands and knees on each side of your legs.
“What are we evening?”
At your waist, James smiled up at you, hands leaving the bed to sweep under your night shirt.
“Oh,” you breathed, and then lifted your arms and allowed him to tug it off. You glanced furtively to the waistband of your sleep shorts, catching the sliver of ink peeking out of the top before James’ hands were there.
“Y’okay bird?”
Looking up, you met James’ careful eyes, nodding your express approval. His lips twisted, and then his needling fingers retreated from your shorts to soothe up your waist.
“Yeah? Sure?” he asked, and you put your hands in his hair to reassure him, somewhat pressed for words. “So quiet.”
“Sorry,” you managed, hands venturing over his shoulders. “Just missed you.”
You felt the truth of that curling in your belly, and James must’ve seen it on your face. Smiling wide, he swooped in to plant a sloppy kiss on your cheek. “You too.”
A second kiss on the opposite cheek, and then he was back to business undressing you.
You sucked a breath in as the elastic pulled and slid down your hips, and the whole mass of scribbles caught light. James’ eyes were on your face, your hair all fanned out, but when he sat back to toss the shorts they traveled south and—
He froze. You can’t say for how long, but it felt an eternity, your breath held tight in your chest. When your body caught up with itself and exhaled, James’ name tumbled out with it, questioning and nervous.
His eyes flicked up to you for less than a second, a sliver of acknowledgment before he’d glued his eyes on the tattoo again. Something was swimming behind his expression, and you couldn’t gauge if it was bad or good.
“Jamie,” you said again, squirming, “please say something.”
With one finger, James traced the loops and turns of his own handwriting on your skin, swallowing dryly.
“Baby,” he finally spoke, a cloying ache in his voice. “Baby.”
Finally catching your gaze again, James just gawked at you with the awe of ten men. He was touching you, absently, reverently, which you figured was a good sign.
Not quite knowing what to say, you let him work out his thoughts, staying very still.
“This is real?” You nodded, and James’ lashes fanned over his cheeks as he gave it yet another look. Then, with a spoonful of disbelief he asked, “When?”
Hips shifting a bit under him, you said, “while you were away. It’s from your letter.”
“I know what it’s from,” James assured you. “I just can’t believe…”
You propped yourself up on your elbows, beckoning James’ attention.
“If you don’t like it, Jamie, I really want you to tell me. I won’t be offended.”
James shook his head ardently.
“I really love it, bird. Really truly. I just can’t fathom how lovely you are.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from cheesing, and James’ lips curled up too, a mirror of yours.
“Though,” he said, finally settling himself on top of you, “if I’d known that’s where my signature was going, I’d have signed my full name.”
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thank u for reading! xx
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iheartyouyou · 2 years
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OUT LOUD | Eddie Munson
Summary: When you and Robin pass notes in class about Eddie Munson, the teacher calls you both out for it, confiscating the notes. To make matters worse, she reads the notes out loud catching the attention of the very special freak.
Part 2
Author’s Note: Not proofread, sorry lmao 😭
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You felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn around to be met by a very annoyed classmate with a neatly folded up note gripped in between their two fingers. They looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to grab it.
You take it, looking around to see who could have given it to you. You locked eyes with Robin, her nodding to you to open the note.
“When are you going to tell him?” The note read in sloppy hand-writing. Robin’s hand writing wasn’t the very best, you were surprised that you were even able to read it.
“Who?” You wrote underneath her sentence. You knew who she was talking about, you just decided to play dumb. What if— whoever the person’s name behind you— read it and told Eddie that the two of you were passing notes about the dungeon master? Ever since Robin found out about your crush on Eddie, she has been nonstop trying to convince you to tell him.
You turned around in your seat, a tight-lipped smile on your lips as you gave it to the person behind you. They frown, snatching the note before giving it to Robin.
You watch as she opens it, her eyes scanning the paper before looking up at you with a quirked eyebrow. She scribbled something on the paper before giving it back to the annoyed person who was now a note messenger for the two of you.
You take the note, opening it up. “Eddie? Who else would I be talking about. You really need to tell him, I’m telling you, he likes you back! I swear I saw him staring at you earlier in the hallway, his eyes were like heart-shaped!”
A faint blush painted your cheeks. Was he actually staring at you earlier? The two of you only talked a few times, only knowing each other because of Robin and Steve. You guys have probably talked three times the whole school year. The first time was when Steve introduced you two, the second was when you accidentally bumped into him during lunch and the third time… was when you bumped into him, again.
“Chrissy was near me. He was probably staring at her.” You quickly scribbled onto the paper.
“Ms. Y/L/N.” Your teacher started, her witch hand snatching the piece of paper out your hands. You gasped.
“Are your notes more important than this class?” She asked, squinting her eyes to read the words written on the paper.
“N-no, ma’am.” You mumbled. You prayed that she would just throw it away, confiscate it and tell you, you can get it after class. But, no. With your luck, she decided to humiliate you, her screechy voice reading everything out-loud enough for the whole school to hear.
She mimicked the words, trying her best to read Robin’s sloppy handwriting. “When are you going to tell him? Who? Ed…” You slouched into your seat, covering your face with your hands to hide your red, embarrassed face. You prayed that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
You didn’t dare look up, even when she lectured you about how you should be worrying more about school than boys. How boys were going to get you nowhere in life. She then threw the note in the trash, her face grimacing.
You could hear a few snickers from students in the classroom, some whispering and judging you for having a crush on the infamous freak. You could already imagine the rumors that would be spreading around by the end of the day.
What did Eddie think of you now? Was he snickering along with the rest or the class? Was he going to take apart of those rumors? Was he disgusted? Embarrassed for you?
You hesitantly removed your face from your hands, looking back at Robin to send her a glare. She just gave you a apologetic look before mouthing the word “sorry”.
In your peripheral vision you could see someone staring at you. You already knew who it was. You remembered where he sat, it was the one area of the room you tried your best to avoid— to avoid any obvious signs of your crush on him.
You turned back in your seat, crossing your arms as you went back to slouching. You prayed and begged that you would be able to escape the classroom before Eddie could have the chance to confront you. You could just avoid him for the rest of your life.
A few minutes went by of you trying to find a way to disappear when you felt a all-too-familiar tap on your shoulder. Was Robin trying to embarrass you, again?
You turned around, the note messenger holding up another note for you to take. You look back quickly at the teacher to make sure she wasn’t looking before snatching it, turning back around to open it up under your desk.
“I was actually staring at you, not Chrissy. Cheerleaders aren’t my type. - Eddie”
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markiemelon · 17 days
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ordinary
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fluff ─ ੈ♡˳ no warnings! ˘͈ᵕ˘͈
idol!jaehyun x gn!reader
this one’s for all my delulus out there!
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{6:33pm} ♡‧₊˚ ↴
it wasn’t his job that made him ordinary, it wasn’t his talent, and it certainly wasn’t his looks.. but it was the little things he did, like wanting to go to the convenience store with you at 2am even after a long day of photoshoots and promotions.
it’s starting to get colder, and leaves are turning brown again. just like it was when you met him. this time of year makes you remember the first time you crossed paths.
you were working at a cafe, your first day, first job. he, of all people, walked in. you felt your heart stop and start again. of course you knew who he was, but you didn’t dare say anything. you kindly welcomed him, holding back the urge to ask for a picture or an autograph.. you were too shy to do anything like that.
you’ll never forget his order. it still hasn’t changed. you called it out. “extra hot caramel macchiato, two pumps hazelnut, extra whipped cream.”
he was off to the side of the counter, jotting something down on piece of paper. his head perked up at your call, and he smiled.
he payed in cash, and managed to slip something in with it. a little folded up sticky note wedged in between the bills. you wouldn’t have noticed it if it hadn’t slipped out and fallen onto the floor. “oh, did something fall out of—”
“don’t worry. that’s for you.” he interjected, taking the change you held out for him in your hand. “well thanks. have a nice day.” he nodded on his way out.
after watching him exit in awe, you picked up the note. a string of digits was written across it in really poor handwriting. it read ‘text me?’ but it actually looked more like ‘taxi man’
but you couldn’t focus for the rest of the day. seeing him in person was enough to shake you up, but for him to hit on you? you got a least 4 orders wrong after that.
when you finally got home, you were hesitant to type the number into your phone. did he really mean to give it to you? that’s dangerous… for all he knows, you could be a sasaeng.
you ignored any doubts and just did it anyway. you had no idea what to say. not wanting to freak him out or act like a crazy fan, you went with something simple.
hi are you the guy from earlier? caramel macchiato?
shortly after you sent it, you got a response.
yeah that’s me
you stared at your screen expressionless, trying to process what was going on. and then another text came through.
sorry that note was so sloppy. actually i was worried you wouldn’t be able to read it
im jaehyun by the way. could i get your name?
all you could do was laugh. it was unbelievable.
surprisingly, you slept pretty well that night. but you woke up a little disappointed, thinking you’d just woken from the best dream ever. you picked up your phone to check the time only to see a message from a number that had yet to be saved as a contact.
you working today?
you took a second to notice the messages above it, where you exchanged names. your heart fluttered, but then it dropped. it was already noon and jaehyun’s text is what reminded you that you had a shift at 1:15. your thumbs slammed against your keyboard to respond.
yes i totally forgot
you pulled yourself together in like 10 minutes. hair kinda messy, eye bags on fleek, you head out. you were in such a hurry, it didnt occur to you to check if he responded.
nice. i’ll see you there
but you left him on delivered.
you made it just on time. you reached for the door handle but someone else beat you to it. a familiar voice spoke. “here, i can get that.”
you weren’t expecting to see jaehyun right beside you, and you obviously weren’t used to seeing his face up close and personal. “oh it’s you-” your hands instinctively covered your mouth in surprise. “what are you doing here?” you avoided looking directly at him as you made your way inside.
he followed behind you. “i have a day off.. and i was craving coffee.” you rubbed your cold hands together. “is that so?” heading to the back to put your things down, you tried hard not to show how nervous you were.
you came back out with an apron, and you made sure to fix your hair up a bit. jaehyun was standing on the other side of the counter like he was ready to place an order, so you had to think of him as any regular customer. “what can i get for you today, sir?”
“can i get a… date with you?”
at that point, it had started to sink in. that you actually had a shot with this guy.
“sir, that’s.. not on the menu.” you teased with a sudden confidence, looking him in the eye.
yes, this was jeong jaehyun. but at the end of the day, he was still a man. and like any man, you wouldn’t let him pull you so easily.
“it’s not?” he answered, his gaze lingering on you so naturally. “hmm…” with a quick scan of the menu, he continued. “a caramel macchiato is fine, then.”
one thing led to another, and the untouchable superstar jaehyun you couldn’t believe was real, was now the annoying jaehyun who refused to leave your home.
the unreachable jaehyun who travels the world, performing at sold out stadiums, is still the jaehyun who sleeps through his alarms, and sings in the shower…
now you know he’s not unreachable or untouchable, but it was still hard for you to understand how such a special person… could really be so ordinary.
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thank you for reading 🌱 reqs always open
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lemonlover1110 · 1 year
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𝐂𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐒
Aki Hayakawa
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Pairing: Aki Hayakawa x f!Reader
Summary: The man who revises your paper is straight out of your sex dream. You'll let him do almost anything for him- Except smoke inside your room when he so desperately needs it. But he finds an alternative for his cigarette. And afterwards he can't stop thinking about you.
Warnings: MDNI, Alternate Universe, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex (m. and f. receiving), Spitting, Public Sex, Creampie, Aki has tattoos and is hot (as always)
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
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“Okay… The essay is good, it just needs a few changes.” Aki says, leaning down as he reads the paper in his hand. He’s focused on helping you, and you’re focused on him. Arms and neck filled with tattoos. Both ears pierced. Hair up in a knot. You’ve never seen him around, if you had, you would’ve remembered. And now you’re wondering how you’ve never seen him before. You’re too focused on his face and not at the fact that he’s pointing at the pen in your hand. You’re brought back to reality when he clears his throat, “May I?”
“Oh, yes. Sorry.” You awkwardly chuckle, giving him your pen. He begins to circle and underline the areas that you need to work on, and you feel your cheeks get warm. You’re embarrassed but you don’t know if it’s because he caught you staring mindlessly at him, or the fact that your paper has so many mistakes.
Your roommate, Himeno, suggested that you go to the library so they could check your paper. You find yourself understanding the content, but when it comes to writing an essay in any class, you always get a mediocre grade. Himeno said that one of her friends is helping out, you never asked who it was, and you obviously didn’t bother looking for them. You saw Aki available and went up to him immediately. He luckily could help with the subject you needed help in.
“You have all the right ideas, they’re just disorganized.” He adds, which you don’t know if it makes you feel better or worse about yourself. You know the material, you just don’t know how to properly word it. He takes a seat beside you, all his attention on the paper. Your eyes shift from his focused face to the paper in his hands. He’s nitpicking any minor mistake in your writing. It almost hurts your feelings, even though you know he’s trying to help you.
You came here because you needed help, and he’s giving it to you. Although your mind wanders off, as you watch him move his lips. He’s explaining what you need to fix so your paper receives an adequate grade, yet your brain doesn’t comprehend anything. You’re nodding, acting as if you’re understanding a word he says. Your eyes are staring at the peek of the dragon tattoo that he has on his neck, and you notice that it starts on his arm. Although he has many other tattoos on his arms
“Do you understand?” He asks, which brings you back to reality. You try to smile, trying to hide the fact that you don’t understand and that you were zoning out because he is, in fact, fucking hot.
“I do, thank you, Hayakawa.” You end up responding. He gives you your paper back, and you stuff it back in your bag before standing up.
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When you’re back in your apartment, you lock yourself in your room to finish up homework for other classes. You’re thinking of the man that helped you with the best of his ability, while fixing up the essay. You type away on your computer, making the near perfect essay. You come to a stop on the third paragraph to look back at the paper and reread the suggestion he made. 
His handwriting looks neat yet sloppy at the same time, and the way certain letters are written makes you chuckle because who writes them like that? You like his handwriting though. Way better than the majority of guys. 
You focus back on your computer to type out the rest of your essay, but instead of typing more, you open a new tab. And instead of searching up resources to help with your writing, you type in Aki Hayakawa and look to find any social media he has. You find his Instagram and click on it, only to find out it’s private. You squint your eyes to look at the profile picture, but his face is covered by a camera. He seems to be into photography, at least that’s what you can tell from the picture.
He probably has an alternate account for his photos, but you’re really not in the mood to look at pictures of flowers or random insects/animals that you can find in your backyard. You go back to the previous page and also find a Twitter account. A smirk comes onto your lips as you think at what you can possibly find on that page. 
You click on his Twitter and immediately go to the media. You don’t really care too much to read about his thoughts; you don’t want to lose interest because of one unfunny tweet. You grin when you find his face in many pictures, as well as some other photographs that you don’t really care about too much. You come across one particular picture that makes you stop scrolling completely. 
It’s him and your roommate. Himeno’s arms wrapped around him as she smiles at the camera. Aki smiles as well, not as bright as Himeno though. You realize that Aki is the friend that Himeno was telling you about. You sigh as you click out of the picture. You remember her saying,
“He’s so hot, God, I’d do almost anything to be with him.”
You close the tab and go back to your essay, and when you're completely concentrated on the task in front of you, there’s a knock on your door. You puff out a breath before you stand up from your chair and walk to your door. You open the door to find your roommate with a bright smile on her face, a beer in her hand.
“My friend is coming over, come join us.” She suggests. You’re about to shake your head since you don’t have too much time to finish your essay but then it hits you, 
“Is this your same friend that tutors?” You ask, and she hums in response. She doesn’t know that you know him since you never asked for his name. Before she could tell you anything about him, you left. 
“I promise he’s fun! Well… After a couple of drinks. He acts mature and all that but he loosens up.” She tells you. You don’t understand why she’s insistent, but you end up nodding slowly.
“Alright, I’ll join you.” You answer.
“Yay! He’ll be here in a few minutes. Let me get changed.” She responds before walking away, and you decide to do the same. But you decide you’ll wear something different. Maybe something that shows a bit more skin, but not too much. You don’t want Himeno to notice and come to the conclusion you’re trying to impress her friend. You are, but you don’t want her to notice.
Right when you finish changing, there’s a knock on the front door. You walk out of the room and go to the front door, since Himeno is apparently still changing. You open the door, and just as you expected, there’s Aki.
“Oh, hey.” He greets you and says your name. He raises a brow before asking, “Is Himeno your roommate?”
“Yeah. She’s in her room, she’ll come out soon enough.” You inform him and he nods in response. You move out of the way so he can enter the apartment, and when he does, he walks to the couch. He takes a seat and makes himself comfortable. “Would you like a beer?”
“It’s fine. I can get it.” Aki answers and you go to the couch to sit down as well. You put some distance between the two of you so you don’t make him uncomfortable. This awkward silence fills up the room until Himeno walks back and joins you. 
She changed. She changed from a black tank top and sweatpants to a tight white tank top and shorts. You really aren’t surprised. She smiles at Aki, greeting him with a melodious, “Hey~”
You can tell she’s had one too many beers already. She seemed fine when she knocked on your door, but you obviously misjudged her. She takes a seat between the two of you, closer to Aki. Way closer. So much so that she’s almost invading his personal space. Aki isn’t sure what to do with his personal space being invaded, so he tries to scoot away, but he can’t since he’s at the end of the couch.
“Don’t you want to start watching that movie?” Aki asks, hoping that it’ll make Himeno stand up, and give him the chance to reclaim the room that was taken from him. When you hear the word “movie” one thing comes to mind, and it’s nothing pure. You’re not even sure if Himeno meant to invite you– Unless Aki was the one who suggested that they’d watch a “movie”.
“Why don’t you go grab a drink first?” Himeno suggests, the alcohol in her breath blowing into Aki’s face. Her arms wrap around him, and he’s trying his best to distance himself. This is why he tries not to come around at night. She has one too many drinks and gets touchy.
“I actually have to finish some assignments.” You say, standing up from the couch and beginning to walk to your room. You hear a groan from Himeno, but she doesn’t say anything to stop you. Now that Aki is here, she’s changed her mind about having you join them, so she isn’t exactly too mad about the fact that you’ll choose to lock yourself up in your room.
“Uh… Actually, I think I should go with her. I explained everything to her but she seemed to be needing some more help.” Aki tells Himeno, making her let go. He’s clearly uncomfortable, but he doesn’t have the courage to voice it. It makes the woman pout and cross her arms, and Aki says, “Go drink some water and look for a movie you want to watch. I’ll make it quick.”
He follows you to your room, uninvited, and neither of you know what to say when he closes the door behind you. You take a seat at your desk and decide to focus on your homework while he waits it out.
“Sorry…” He begins, and you hum in response. You don’t care all that much about it. He stands around awkwardly, not wanting to take a seat on your bed without asking. “I didn’t expect her to be already tipsy, and she tends to be touchy.”
“Oh yeah, I get that.” You respond. “You can sit down.”
“Okay…” He responds, but instead of actually taking a seat, he walks over to you to check what’s on your computer. He finds the paper that he revised on your desk as well, so he knows you’re still working on the paper he helped you with at the library. “Do you need me to revise that again?”
“I think it’s fine.” You answer. You don’t have all that much energy left to check the paper another time and make more revisions before turning it in. You end up turning off your laptop, deciding to take advantage of the moment. You might never have him in your room again, so you might as well talk to him. “When are you going back?”
“In a few minutes. When she’s had some water and time to be more level-headed.” He replies. He takes a seat on your bed and pulls out his phone. “If not, I’ll just leave.”
“I definitely don’t think that she’ll grab water like you suggested.” You tell him as you stand up and sit down on the bed. He still wants to wait a couple minutes before deciding to leave. “How did you two meet, anyway?”
“Hmm… I think it was around campus or something. She came up to me and we hit it off.” Aki recalls, although he can’t remember it all too well. “She’s three years older than me– I think.”
“Yeah… She’s taken a while to get her degree. But hopefully next year she’ll make it!” You share, and he nods in response. You aren’t sure what you two can talk about other than Himeno, until you look at his arms, “You have a lot of tattoos. That’s cool.”
“You think so?” He responds, and you nod in response. “Himeno was actually the one who pushed me to get a tattoo. It was a small one on my thigh but then I just couldn’t stop getting more and more.”
“I’ve been thinking of getting one myself, which one was the least painful for you?” You ask, and he takes a moment to think about it. He has so many… 
“Forearm is not so bad, also outer thigh is okay.” He informs you. “Neck was very painful, don’t do that. “Butt is okay. At least from what I’ve heard.”
“From what you heard?” You chuckle, and he ends up laughing as well. “Are you sure you don’t have a tattoo on your butt?”
“Maybe once upon a time I went out to drink with Himeno and we got too drunk…” He explains. You begin to wonder for how long exactly they’ve known each other. He shares a couple more things with you– How his ears piercings was also something Himeno forced him to do, that he’s lucky she didn’t force him to pierce his nose and also get a lip ring. They’ve known each other for around four years. Aki is graduating this term, and works part time as a barista. He tells you so much about himself. 
There’s a knock on the door, interrupting the conversation that you and Aki withhold. Himeno’s speech is slightly slurred as she says, “Aki, how much time– Do you have left? Is her paper not ready?”
“Oh she’s definitely opened a few more cans of beer.” You comment, and Aki hums, a bit disappointed. 
“I need a fucking cigarette.” He rolls his eyes. “What options do I have?”
“Sneak out the window– Which I don’t recommend since this is a second floor. Or wait till she passes out and leave. Unless you want to make up an emergency.” You tell him and he subconsciously begins to bounce his leg, looking around the place to decide what he wants to do.
“Can I smoke in here?” He asks and you shake your head. As much as you’d want to let him do anything he wants, the last thing you need is your bedroom smelling like cigarettes. You’ve forced Himeno to smoke outside, even when it’s pouring out
“Sorry, I don’t really want my bedroom to stink.”
“What? Do I stink?” He questions. He’s never associated his addiction with a horrible smell. Sure, smoking outside is the formality so not everyone is clouded with the smoke. Maybe it has a strong smell– Well, it definitely reeks but he fucking needs to smoke.
“You don’t stink, but if you pull out a cigarette in my room then you will. And I will too.” You explain and he still sighs. He lays his back on the bed and stares at the ceiling for a second. 
“Will you suck me off?” He asks out of nowhere, and you feel the heat going to your cheeks as he says that. “I need something that’ll distract me from smoking, and that’ll certainly do the trick.”
“You know, Himeno would be willing to give you a hand if you asked.” You say, your hand going to his belt. Does he need a cigarette so badly or does he just want a blowjob? You don’t care to ask as your lips go down to peck his lips. When you pull away, he says, 
“I don’t want Himeno.” He responds. “She’s a nice friend but that’s all she’ll be.”
“Hmm…? Didn’t we just meet? You’re already talking about us being more than friends?” You begin as you unbutton his pants and pull them down. Your hand goes into his boxers and begin to feel his length, which is certainly impressive. Although you aren’t too surprised. “Will this actually help you?”
“I suggested it for a reason.” He responds, and you pull down his boxers. You run your thumb over his tip, spreading the pre-cum on his cock. You lower your head, your tongue circling around his tip. You met a couple hours ago, and here you are, starting a blowjob. This wouldn’t be your first one night stand though. You’ve fucked guys that you’ve known for a shorter time.
You lower your head completely, wrapping your mouth completely around his cock. You take in as much as you can, and you can hear him softly moan as you bob your head. Your hands stroke the parts of his cock that can’t fit in your mouth, while your other hand cups his balls.
“Fuck– That’s good.” He can’t help but moan as he feels your mouth wrapped around his dick. Maybe he was thinking of a similar scene in the library while looking over your paper. And now he feels your tongue gliding on his shaft. 
You take his cock out of your mouth, your hand stroking his cock while your mouth goes down to suck on his balls. He shuts his eyes and bites his bottom lip as he feels your mouth. God, he has to remember that Himeno is right outside so he can’t let her hear what’s going on inside your room. That he isn’t in fact helping you with your assignment. 
Your tongue licks from the base of his cock back to the tip. Your mouth wraps around his cock again, doing the same thing as before. While it feels great for Aki, he still says, “Baby, can you take it all in your mouth? It’ll be so good”
The pet name “baby” makes your panties wet. All the heat immediately goes to your cunt, but you focus on Aki and making him come. Using your mouth for his pleasure. 
You feel his hand on the back of your head, and he begins to push your head down on his cock. You begin to gag on his cock, and the sound is better than any melody for him. And the best part of all is that it feels so good for him. Even better than before. He could come at any moment.
Too engrossed in what you’re doing, any noise from outside is canceled out by Aki’s moans and your gagging. Until the door strikes open, and a drunk Himeno walks into the room, looking for Aki. You raise your head, taking his cock out of your mouth. You’re wide-eyed while the man can’t help but be annoyed by the fact that he was so close to finishing, and he was interrupted.
Himeno is trying to process the scene in front of her, asking, “What’s going on here?”
“A- Aki needed a cigarette.” You stutter.
“She won’t remember any of this in the morning. There’s no need for an explanation.” Aki assures you. He pulls his boxers back up and begins to fix himself. “I have to go. I’m gonna smoke a cigarette.”
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Just as Aki said, Himeno remembered nothing the next morning. Yet, you decided that you’ll keep your distance because Himeno clearly likes him, and getting with him is sort of a betrayal to her. It’s easy to avoid him, mainly because you’ve never bumped into him before. You avoid the library, and he doesn’t come over to hang out with Himeno often.
Nearly a month after everything, you find yourself back in the library, ready to check another paper. The paper Aki checked got a near perfect score, and while you’re trying to avoid him, you value your grades more than anything. Your eyes meet when you step into the place.
You’ll look for someone else because you doubt either of you will feel too comfortable around each other, especially after a month of not talking. Or maybe that’s just you because Aki begins to walk towards you.
“Hey.” He says when he’s in front of you. You smile at him, avoiding eye contact. “Do you need help on another paper?”
“Uh… Yeah.” You nod, looking around to find another person that’s not Aki, to check the paper you need help with.
“I can check it for you.” He states, noticing that you’re looking for someone else. He left someone on their own to come up to you. He hopes at the very least you’ll take his help so he doesn’t look like a jerk.
“Sure… But aren’t you busy?” You question and he shakes his head. You noticed he was with someone else, but he decided to walk up to you. “I don’t want to–”
“It’s fine, they were just leaving.” He responds, and you end up sighing. He furrows his brows at your reaction and just when he’s about to ask what’s wrong, you end up saying,
“You know Himeno likes you, so I think it’s best if we–” You begin but he cuts you off.
“I’m helping you with your essay, I’m sure Himeno won’t get mad with that.” Aki answers, and you end up sighing again. He’s not wrong, but the reason you don't want his help is because you aren’t sure if you’ll behave around each other. 
You end up going with him to take a seat. You pull out the paper and hand it to him so he can look it over. And he takes it as he takes a seat beside you. Unlike the first time, you don’t gawk at him. You stare elsewhere, somewhere that he isn’t in your vision.
You feel him pat your thigh, and the heat goes to your cheeks immediately. “Do you have a pen?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” You respond, reaching into your bag to pull out a pen. You give it to him, and once again stare off into space, until his hand goes back to your thigh. But this time he isn’t patting to ask you for something. He takes advantage of the fact that you’re wearing a skirt. 
He caresses your thigh, all while his focus is on the paper in front of him. You don’t understand how he suddenly got so comfortable with you to do this, but at the same time you really don’t care that much. Except when his hand goes to your clothed cunt and he rubs lazy circles on your panties. No one will notice or know, yet you’re still freaking out. But you won’t push his hand away either.
“Same mistakes as the first time.” He comments, pushing your panties to the side. Two fingers run through your folds as he circles and underlines what needs to be fixed. He mutters, “You’re so wet, and I haven’t done anything.”
“Huh?” You question, your face burning up, the same heat that’s in between your legs. Yet one is of embarrassment and the other of arousal. 
“I said, last time clearly didn’t do anything. You made very similar mistakes.” He begins to circle your clit. You didn’t really expect a stunt like this from him of all people. But then again, you don’t know him well. You’ve stalked his social media after giving him a blowjob, but that’s about it. 
You wait for him to push two fingers in, but at the same time you’re not desperate for it because his fingers’ speed against your clit is just right. He moves his fingers perfectly. You bite your bottom lip, preventing a whimper from leaving your lips.
“Does it feel good, gorgeous?” He asks, glancing at you before his eyes go back to the paper in front of him. “Wouldn’t it feel good if I slipped a finger in? You’d have to ask me in a pretty little voice.”
“Please.” You whisper. You’re scared of being too loud and being heard, although half the library is empty.
“Can you be a tad bit louder? I can’t make out what you’re saying.” He says, and you end up shaking your head. The library is so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, and you’re scared that if you raise your voice just a bit more, that people will turn to see. The place isn’t too crowded. Just a couple of people cramming in for exams.
His fingers press against your entrance, but he doesn’t slip a finger in. He fixes your panties and stands up, “I need a cig. Check over what I wrote. I’ll be back in a second.”
You watch as he walks away, and you stuff your paper back in your bag. You stand up and begin to walk to the shelves. You begin to look for a book that you’ve been researching for a term paper. Instead of asking the librarian for help, you go to the very back of the place, looking for the book. 
You waste around ten minutes, before you spot it. Your arm goes out to grab it, but before your hand gets to it, someone else grabs it. You notice the tattoos on his hand and immediately figure out who it is. You turn around to look at him, and he’s so close that you’re pushed against the shelves.
“I thought I told you to make revisions and here you are…” He sounds a bit annoyed as he says this. His lips go down and he pecks your lips before he kneels down in front of you. He lifts up your skirt, and you press your thighs together.
“Right here?” You ask, tilting to the side for a moment to see if you find anybody. When you don’t, you stop squeezing your thighs. He pushes your panties to the side, once again, and forces you to spread your legs.
“You should really be checking your paper…” He tells you before his tongue licks up your cunt. He really couldn’t care less about your paper. He can say he was upset when he stepped back into the library and you weren’t there, waiting for him. He was going to tease you a bit more. But now he’s glad that you decided to come here because you taste great on his tongue.
He spits on your cunt before his lips attach around your clit. You throw your head back, making a couple of books fall over. The sound would sure catch a couple of people’s attention, but they’re all too focused on their own thing to care. You put a hand over your mouth to muffle any sounds from escaping your lips. 
Books knocking over aren't alarming, the sound of moaning sure is.
He detaches himself from your clit and licks down your folds to the entrance of your cunt. He teases it before he inserts his tongue inside of you, which makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. He moves it in and out of your cunt while his fingers begin to play with your clit.
“Fuck, that’s so good.” You whisper, your hips bucking. He’s looking up at you, watching your face as you try to contain your pleasure. He really wishes he could hear it, but he sure picked the wrong place to do this. Either way you wouldn’t make a sound in your apartment either because of your roommate.
You shut your eyes, feeling your climax get closer and closer. He takes his tongue out of your cunt and begins to flick your clit. The sweetest “Aki” leaves your lips while your thighs begin to squeeze around him. He swears this is heaven, and you’re the sweetest angel.
You keep your thighs squeezed around him while your orgasm takes over you. You hear Aki humming, loving the way you taste around him. A moan escapes your lips, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you come.
Aki continues flicking your clit for a couple more seconds, watching the beautiful face that you make as you orgasm. When a sigh escapes your lips when you come down from your high, he kisses your clit and gets off the ground. He grabs the back of your head and pulls your face in for a kiss. His tongue enters your mouth, pressing against your own. His tongue glides over yours while your hands go to the bulge that’s in his pants.
When he pulls away, a string of saliva connects your lips. You stare into his lust-filled eyes, and you watch him bite down his bottom lip as you feel the bulge in his pants. His thumb pushes down your bottom lip before he orders, “Open your mouth.”
You do as he says and he spits in your mouth. You swallow as your hands unbutton his pants. Your hands go inside his boxers and you begin to stroke his length. He says, “You want me to fuck you here, baby?”
“Hmm…” You hum in response. You pull down his pants, “You already ate me out, we might as well go all the way.”
“You’re right. I’ve been daydreaming about your cunt wrapped around my dick.” He says, stroking his cock a couple of times before he runs the tip through your folds, getting his cock wet with your slick. “And the craziest thing is that this is the third time we meet.”
“It’s the effect I have on people.” You chuckle, before he slowly pushes his cock inside of you. You whimper, feeling as his thick cock stretches you out. You both shut your eyes, taking everything in. He’s even bigger when he’s inside of you, at least that’s how he feels.
“Your pussy feels so good.” He whispers. Your cunt feels just like he imagined– No, even better. So nice and tight. The night he needed a cigarette, he shouldn’t have asked for a blowjob, instead he should’ve straight up asked you to fuck him. He actually would’ve finished.
When he bottoms out, he waits a moment, letting you adjust to his size. He begins to move slowly, looking at your face as you try your best to contain yourself. His bottom lip is between his teeth as he fucks you. One hand goes to the shelf behind you, causing a couple more books to tumble over.
You’re beginning to moan, and as much as he loves the sound, he can’t risk getting caught. One hand covers your mouth while his lips go to your ear, “You want us to get caught, naughty girl? You want everyone to come see you get caught?”
God, he just feels so good inside of you, it’s hard for you to keep it all in. His cock hits all the right spots. You could come alone with the way he moves in and out of you. Yet your hand still moves down to your clit to play with it.
Aki understands the way you feel because he’s trying his best to contain himself as well– In more ways than one, because he could come at any moment. He stops covering your mouth and his lips land on yours again. 
He feels your cunt clench around him, and he moans in your mouth. When he pulls away, his lips go to your ears again, “Love your tight little pussy. I could die in it, and I’d die a happy man.”
His cock picks up speed with every thrust. His hand is back on your mouth, muffling the sounds that get louder and louder with every thrust. You reach your climax, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs spasm.
“So fucking good. I need to come inside your pussy.” He mutters. After a few more thrusts, you feel as his warm cum fills up your cunt. He keeps his cock inside you for a minute. He takes it out and fixes your panties. He pecks your lips one more time, as he fixes himself up. 
“Go fix your paper, and if I like it enough, I’ll give you another reward.”
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🏷 @witchofoe @cactustattoo @dearsunaa @mykyoon @tojidilfs @b3ast1706 @crispmarshmallow @matchabluebeiry-for-nanami @nobody289x @nothisispatrick300 @tojianddabisslut @katsuwhore @septembersums @thisbicc @rumi-rants @chloee0x0 @dakumarauder @lovemarvel16 @lilithlunas @sarcasticallydrowning
3K notes · View notes
thebearer · 10 months
Note
i looooove the way you wrote carmys casual dominance over the reader in the feeling. could you write something else that has that same vibe? like him being protective/ dominant over her while they’re around the rest of the crew?
ahhh thank you so much!!! the casual dominance was a must for me with carmy it just makes me weak in the knees lol.
"Why don't you let me help you?" You hummed, leaning over Carmen's shoulder, watching as he expertly cut the onions. "I can handle spaghetti sauce."
Carmen scoffed lightly, looking up at you under heavy brows, still chopping furiously- much faster than anything you could. "I got it." He nodded.
Your face fell slightly, stepping back to stand beside him. Carmen invited you to family every night before the restaurant opened, it was sometimes the only time you'd see him until that night when he'd collapse into bed next to you. It was the busy season, summer and tourist time, meaning everyone wanted to come to the infamous restaurant.
Carmen's chest flooded with a pang of guilt at your small frown. Fuck, maybe he'd been too mean. "'m sorry, baby. Here, I have prep to do. Can you put this in the pan for me? Start it."
The tiny smile that curled on your lips made Carmen's heart skip in his chest. "Yes, Chef." You hummed, pressing a kiss to his cheek, snagging the diced onions and sliding them into the pan.
You'd seen Carmen make it enough to know how to make this recipe. Canned tomato sauce, oregano, onions- you measured them, adding it all easily.
"Woah-ho-ho, look who we got here." Richie cackled, turning the corner, ignoring Sydney's screams to announce it. "We got a new chef on the roster?"
You rolled your eyes, snagging the can opener and pressing the handles together. "Yeah, I'm your replacement, Richie."
Richie's face fell slightly. He knew you were joking but a part of him worried. "Cousin, what's this, huh?"
"She's just helping, alright? Get outta the way." Carmen nodded, slicing the beef easily. His eyes watched you, flicking from his task back to you.
"Hey," Carmen called, a firm snap of the tongue that had you turning to him. "Put the hair back, baby. No one wants a hair in their food."
"Yeah, c'mon." Richie added, snickering as you snagged the hair tie off your wrist. "Gonna replace me and she don't even know how to cook right-"
"Hey, easy, cousin." Carmen's eyes were hard, glaring at Richie, the whirr of his knife sliding across the cutting board adding a dangerous edge.
Richie held his hands up in mock defense. "My apologies, your fucking majesties." He scoffed.
You rolled your eyes, moving onto the next step on the card, pouring the cans of sauce in easily and stirring, giving the side of the pan a firm tap with the spoon to get the excess off. Reaching for the knob to turn the heat up, Carmen's hands were on your waist before you could.
"Here, baby," Carmen rasped, pulling you back slightly. "Gotta loose shirt on, so you gotta stay back, alright? Tuck it in or something for me. I don't want it catchin' on fire." He muttered, hand sliding over the hem of your shirt, pressing it gently against you.
"Actually, go find an apron, ok? I'l get this started. I don't want you gettin' anything on ya." Carmen nodded towards the back.
"Yes, Chef." You saluted him playfully, passing the spoon to him.
Carmen watched you walk towards his office, stirring the ingredients before turning on the stove. He let the flame on a low flicker, reaching in his pocket for his own cigarettes, fishing one out and lighting it under the pilot light.
"Chef," Carmen called, catching Sydney as she turned the corner. "You got it?"
"I got it." Sydney nodded.
"Great, I'll be in my office." Carmen walked off, finding you in his office, lazily looking through the papers on his desk.
"Anything good?" He asked, leaning against the door, arms crossed over his broad chest.
"What is spicy Moroccan carrot salad?" You tilted your head, reading Carmen's sloppy handwriting scribbled on the notecard.
"A side Sydney thinks would go good with the flounder we're getting in." Carmen hummed, blowing the smoke out the door before shutting it behind him.
He sunk down in his chair, patting his lap for you to sit with him. "Thanks f' helpin' me with family tonight." Carmen muttered, arms around your waist, bumming the cigarette in the tray. "Shouldn't be too long tonight."
You hummed, leaning back into his chest, head lulling back so you could look at him. "Not too long like I should wait up for you or...?"
Carmen snorted lightly. "I'll be home before midnight. Sydney and Marcus are closing tonight." He sighed, pressing a tiny kiss on your shoulder.
"Good," You grinned, turning so you were straddling him, your core rocking over his, covered by the aprons.
2K notes · View notes
shdysders · 2 months
Text
letters with grief
pairing: jenna ortega & female!reader
summary: in which jenna visits you, with a letter.
word count: 2k
warnings: mentions of verbal fights & car accident
author’s note: i actually really like this one, lmk if something doesn’t make sense.
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The air was all crisp and cool, the trees were wearing their fiery coats of orange, red, and yellow, and the breeze danced through the leaves.
The gentle wind tousling Jenna's hair, making it fall in front of her face, obstructing her view of the gravel path she walked on were a few orange leafs had made its appearance.
"Hello gorgeous.." Jenna said, receiving no answer except for the autumn breeze that blew heavier onto her figure.
She carefully lowered herself onto the velvety carpet of autumn's golden blades, crossing her legs. Hands digging in the pockets of her jacket. Your jacket.
"I..uhm.. I wrote a letter..for you" She sniffled, her nose growing red and runny from the cold weather and the inappropriate garments for the fall.
Jenna carefully unfolded the letter, and as the paper unfurled, a gentle symphony of whispers filled the air, captivating her senses.
The piece of paper revealed the long text, the letters were messy and all over the place, looking like a jumbled puzzle, with words scattered and tangled like a messy room.
A chuckle erupted from Jenna's mouth as she could hear you giggle and make fun of her gibberish handwriting, like you always did. Every single time she wrote the grocery list or anything at all, you would joke and make small comments about her sloppy writing.
"I know.." Jenna smiled softly, tucking her brown hair behind her ears. "Who even writes letters anymore?.." She scrunched her nose, your laughter basically echoing in her eardrums.
She fiddled with the letter, almost considering the option of just not reading it at all, however she knew she had to. Otherwise she would never get this out, which meant she would have to feel this closed feeling within her at all times, and Jenna knew she couldn't live with that.
"But.. I didn't know how else I'd get this out of my head.." She continued.
A year ago, Jenna would be laughing at what she was doing in this moment, she would've felt ridiculous. Talking about a handwritten letter when she knew she wouldn't get any answers.
However she pushed those thoughts away, exhaling deeply before her shaky voice began appearing.
"I'm so sorry that the fame affected you and your family as well.." Jenna could already feel tears burning in her eyes, just the thought of you made her nose start to run uncontrollably, how could she ever tell you all of the things the letter contained?
Jenna knew very well that the fame would have a big influence on you, she had told you that multiple times before you became an official couple. But when she had explained it; she meant that the paparazzi and the headlines could be the influence, not that she would be it herself.
Everybody knew relationships in the spotlight were complicated, it was common knowledge. Even Jenna knew that. But she had never thought about what the complications might've been based on. In fact, she couldn't even tell when the conflicts actually happened.
Jenna never knew where all of the rage came from. It might've been stress, anxiety or something completely unrelated to any of those, regardless of the underlying reasons, she was aware that her actions towards you were inexcusable.
She would never be able to forgive herself for having those outbursts at you. You were never doing anything wrong. Never.
You would wait up for her whenever she was having late night shootings. You would prepare nice meals for her whenever she arrived home, so she wouldn't go to sleep with an empty stomach. You would hold her tight and brush your fingers through her hair until she fell asleep, knowing she always had a hard time sleeping alone.
You did everything she could've possibly asked for, but Jenna never gave anything back.
She hadn't realized it at first. Not until she had scared you so badly that you had stormed out of your shared apartment.
Jenna would arrive home, scream at you for things you couldn't control, start unnecessary arguments that were either non-existent or non-current or sometimes ignore you fully.
She would call you repulsive things just because you didn't talk back, sometimes even blaming you for the stress situations she met at her job.
You didn't know what was happening to her, watching her turn from this sweet loving girlfriend, to a ticking bomb who would explode any moment without any reason.
She would burst at you for being quiet, but she would also rage if you were too talkative. You had no idea how to act around her, she was never going to be pleased.
Jenna did know that she was being unusually unpleasant to be around. Although she had thought that it was only temporarily, that it would disappear when she finished wrapping the stress filled projects she was working on.
She wanted to be better. She wanted to be better for you. She knew you deserved way more than what she was giving you. Despite she never made an effort to get better. Even though she wanted to.
Yet that night. Everything had flipped.
"You were right.." Jenna mustered a laugh, but vulnerability seeped through, turning it into an awkward melody, while her tears danced, trying to wipe them away.
"I needed real help." She continued, swallowing the lump in her throat. Fiddling with the edge of the paper. "Like you told me."
The pit in Jenna's stomach got deeper when she realized that you had been right the whole time.
When Jenna had arrived home that night, you had been situated in the couch, waiting for her, like you always did. However, something had been different. The way you tensed when Jenna came home, the way your hands were almost shaking.
Jenna was trying to keep her outburst within her this time. She noticed you were scared, so she knew that was for the best.
But something inside of her switched when you had opened your mouth.
You had told her that you thought it would be suitable for Jenna to seek help for her recent outbursts and raging personality. You thought that if she would be able to talk about her feelings, maybe she wouldn't take them out on you.
Obviously, you were wrong. It had been the complete opposite.
The rage and stress had taken over Jenna's body, making her scream and ramble stuff she didn't know existed in her.
She couldn't remember everything she had said. But the things she could reminisce were things that almost made her feel the need to throw up.
You had watched Jenna with eyes wide open from fear, backing away from her, afraid that she would eventually get the idea to hit you.
You had apologized repeatedly while she was screaming at you, telling you everything she thought you 'had done wrong' and why you should've been the one seeking help instead.
Eventually, she had screamed for you to get out of the apartment, that she couldn't stand the look of you and didn't want to see you again. You couldn't do anything else but follow her screaming instructions, too afraid to revolt and see what she would do next.
When you had left, Jenna had tried to calm herself down. She had planned on apologizing to you when she got back, because she knew you would. Sure, she had been a bitch, but she was sure you would still come back. Right?
"I just.." Jenna exhaled and closed her eyes, trying to imagine your face in front of her, like that would make the letter easier to read out.
"I wanted you to know that what happened afterwards had nothing to do with you.."
The tears began rolling faster down her cheeks as Jenna recalled the thousands of text messages she had sent you that night. When she didn't receive an answer to any of them, she just thought that you were probably still upset.
But when evening time arrived and you had yet to arrive home, she began to feel worried; you had never been gone for the night whenever she raged at you. Maybe she pushed you too far? She couldn't tell, since she couldn't remember half the things she had said.
She didn't remember anything that had exploded out of her mouth. She didn't remember telling you that she couldn't stand the sight of you, when she was the one in the wrong.
The things she did remember was how the local police departments number had popped up on her phone, and how she had answered the call with a shaky voice and hands.
She remembered dropping the phone on the floor, the screen almost breaking due the hard tiles.
She remembered rushing to the hospital the second she heard you were there. She remembered running into the building, hearing the nurses explain that your survivor chances were low due the extreme crash.
You had been hit. By a drunk truck driver. He had survived. Almost leaving the scene with no injuries.
You weren't that lucky.
You didn't make it.
It had been revealed later that you had zero chances of living. The staff had just told her that you did because they wanted her to think that. But in reality, you were already unconscious when they arrived at the scene.
Jenna never got the chance to see you again. Just like her raging wishes had said.
That's why everything that happened wasn't your fault. It was all hers.
Jenna couldn't live with herself knowing you passed thinking she hated you. Nothing felt right when you weren't around.
When she now arrives home at night, the apartment is empty. There's no warmth when she walks into the hall, no embrace or cooked dinner, no lit candles except for the ones that remained lit next to the photo of you.
She hated thinking of it. The fact that you were gone. You weren't with her anymore, and you never would be.
Yet, at the same time she felt like that was what she deserved. She treated you like a burden, she told you that you were a burden. So why would she have the rights to feel sorrowful?
Jenna didn't deserve you. She knew that. That's why she liked to think that your soul went somewhere better than here.
You were too nice for this world. You had to be somewhere else.
You used write letters to Jenna every month, telling her your favorite things about her and how much you loved her. The letters lessened when she got so mad every night.
And now she'd never get them anymore.
Jenna let out a sob as she thought of you. The tears staining the letter. "I'm so sorry you can't be here..here where you wanted to be." Her voice was quivering, shaky breaths coming out.
Your zest for life was something Jenna always admired in you. Always seeing the positive side and wanting the best for everyone. Even if they did something horrible to you.
And it was for that reason Jenna knew that you probably would've forgiven her for this too. Even though it got you killed.
"I can feel you everywhere I go." Jenna wiped her streaming tears with the sleeve of her shirt, trying to prevent the salty water on the paper to smudge out the letters.
Your laugh, your smile, your love and touch. It was everywhere with her. Every single thing about you that she loved so dearly, the things that she didn't appreciate in the last months she had with you.
She had taken everything with you for granted.
If she closed her eyes hard enough at night, she could see you, hear you, and feel you, the way you were, the way you were always meant to be.
Jenna knew she couldn't get by without you. But she knew she deserved to live in pain for the rest of her life, for what she did to you.
No matter how much work and interviews she buried herself in, no matter how much she cried and begged for you to come back, no matter how many times she'd visit your grave and beg for forgiveness, you'd always be gone.
"I love you. And I'm sorry.."
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