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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 2 months

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Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go

Chapter 42

here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke

how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink

This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical

oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again

Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame

Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him

Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me

The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it

I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does

and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters

God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time

"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????

Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen

"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???

Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry

Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd

of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits

Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better

Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her

Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore

Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you

I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with

"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier

Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type

Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man

Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."

goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest

"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn

I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange

It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy

What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what

Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters

"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED

Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it

what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much

#anti acotar #anti sjm #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

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dreamwinged · 1 month

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i feel like posting but i have nothing to say 😭 sorry guys i feel like im so boring all i do is irlpost lately :’3333 but im just so fixated on 🔮 and he hasn’t gotten any new content lately so there’s really Nothing to Say sadly. and im too exhausted and demotivated and busy to create content rn so nothing to post snjdnsjcnsjxnd.

im so sorry waaahhh im hoping it calms down soon so i can actually do the Selfshipping part of the Selfshipping community ykkk. but rest assured im stillthinking about him constantly and stuff i just. WAHHHH sorry i’ve been so lame recently<////3

#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#merch collection is growing tho and that’s super cool. sad i can’t post a pic SHDJSNXJDD #anyways sorry i do genuinely feel bad that i haven’t been like posting anything good lately #i just. Sigh. you know #give a mentally ill girl a 6 class course load in one semester in a country where she doesn’t know the language and she may suffer a bit #IM LOVING IT DONT GET ME WRONG . the 6 classes thing is just kind of a lot. and i’ve been rly busy outside of that jsjdnsjxndjxndjd AUGH

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griancraft · 2 months

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Ok as per my last post. This is Long and very much about my feelings so uh don’t read it if you don’t want to. Also I’m aware I sound genujneky crazy for half of this I’m just really really mentally ill in ways I don’t talk about here at all and now I am sharing them and it’s. A little scary but oh well. The system stuff is the stuff I’m most concerned about right now to be honest bc it effects my day to day and if anyone has any kind words or thoughts on what to do I’ll be happy to listen

Please read my previous post if you’re mad /gen I don’t think I say anything bad here but I have really bad morality ocd so like uhm I am scared to post this!!! Prev post

Also I’m very sorry that the prose is terrible to read and my spelling is shit I have dyspraxia which is a coordination thing and it’s worse rn

The maybe I was boring album came on yesterday while I was cleaning and I had to stop what I was doing and turn it off halfway through because I just couldn’t stop hearing an admission. I wasn’t even sad I was just. So done with it. I still am just kinda like. God I hope Shelby is doing ok with all this being public now. I’m glad she was able to heal like she said and I’m glad she made the video dude.

I almost got his lyrics tattooed if that’s testament to how much I loved his early music. It’s not connecting in my brain that this music that’s been apart of my life for like 4 years and helped me through so much was made by an abuser.

But like, in retrospect you can see it. I can’t bear to delete ycgma off my mp3 player bc I related to his songs so much as an abused lonely teenager but I also can’t bare to listen to it. I learned the fall on my guitar as my final exam and I used to repeat his lyrics to myself to cope with abuse and I wish I could still love these songs. I dressed like his dsmp character bc I thought it made me look cool. Which is lame as fuck to admit now lol

Originally I was planning on pirating them and I like, can’t especially after that manipulative ass statement. How much was an act? I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I still kinda do want to listen to that music again. I still want to feel that safe but I know I won’t feel that way anymore.

with dsmp stuff I think I’m going to be still able to look back fondly on it generally and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. The community was what made it and the community is what I loved, and i still do. I don’t think I’m going to reblog art of him specifically but if he’s in it I might. Idk. My policy on dream fanart is if he’s not alone in the art and it’s dsmp or mcc related I reblog so I guess I’ll continue that here. Im sorry if that sounds callous I just. Am not prepared to talk about this so I’m going back and forth

And like. We also have a wilbur factive/fictive and we have for years now and nobody in our system knows how to feel about that. He formed to fill the role of a big brother (I was being heavily emotionally neglected at that point and needed someone to be there for me) and protector from my parents abuse. Obviously, he is entirely separate from his source now bc alters change a lot for me but how we picture him is still wilbur. he’s literally just some guy now but grappling with that connection is fucked up dude it’s weird. He’ll probably further distance himself but it still fucking sucks and I don’t know how to communicate the cognitive dissonance we had to push through bc our brain struggled at first to make sense of how this person who we liked so much that he became the template for a Protector to shield us from the emotional neglect and abuse, essentially, is a terrible person. I’m sorry I know people who aren’t systems, and some who are ngl, will find this fuckibg nuts and I get that but we’re a very very internal person like I just. Kinda am with us as a system a lot and nobody else. It feels like my safe space that I’ve created in my head has been marred. Also. uhm. Our alters speak in distinct voices so it’s bad bad for me rn and we are trying to fix it. I know I know fictives and factives arenttheir source but that doesn’t change that it makes me feel gross. I’m rambling rn I’m sorry. Support Shelby.

#tw abuse #discourse #vent

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pesterloglog · 2 months

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Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #dave strider #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #karkat vantas #meat epilogue #page 32

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nightfallsystem · 2 years

Text

Nightfallsystem - Main blog. Plural System. cringe asf autistic and chronic pain haver. giant isopod enthusiast.

READ MY DNI AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST!!!

IF I FOLLOW U / REBLOG FROM U RANDOMLY / ACT LIKE WE'RE MUTUALS U PROBABLY FOLLOWED/INTERACTED ON MY BLOG @qiekz OR @qiekzart

‼️hi guys if ur reading this during october 2023 plz check out @qiekzart rn im doing a thing ✨✨

Check out my etsy plzzz :333 i post adoptables !!

My name is Qiekz, my pronouns are it/its, please use my actual preferred pronouns. For your DNI purposes please know I'm 14 ^_^ also no nsfw interaction or you will fucking die!! im also learning japanese! (please send help.... im dying..... grahh.. ive gone too far to quit its kind of my curse now.)

what to expect from this blog? random shit, this is my personal blog. there may be vents and rants (tagged as #vent and #rant respectively) there may be random shit there will be so many reblogs.

i try to add ids when i can into the alt text, though i have chronic pain so sometimes im too tired to, sorry

Special interests: Giant isopods, Yugioh 💀💀

interests: TBHK, manga and anime, servals, marine animals, suicide boy (critical of it...), made in abyss, (critical of it...) , japanese language ,, ... i forgor

FEEL FREE (i encourage you to!) TAG ME IN SHIT ABOUT MY INTERESTS!!! esp yugioh im really autistic about it o my god

#autistic about this thing tag <- will be me tagging shit im really autistic about!!

not really in discourse anymore other than transgender stuff so if you try to drag me into discourse ill drag you into the pits of hell. i fucking hate syscourse so much.

If i am not speaking and another system member is, the post will be tagged as "- [name]". I tag common triggers, flashing lights and eyestrain, etc, these will be tagged as "TW [topic]". also JSYK i block a fuck ton of people so like, yeah, I block anyone for any reason I want. I will also not unblock you. unless youre liek my friend or smth.

We have so many fictives sooo,, source list: TBHK, Omori, OneShot, Wolf Song the Movie (yknow, that one on youtube.), yugioh..... </3 .. sourcemates r cool to interact n stuff feel free to send an ask im just shy...

anon hate MUST be original no lame "kys" or "[slur]". i will judge you. try better. try harder. get good. if you send anon hate i will judge it and rate it out of 10 so please try your best.

i am weirdo fictionkin heres the list: hooni from suicide boy yayy,, faputa from made in abyss ( I FUCKING HATE THE SORUCE FOR BEING SO WEIRD OMFG AHGHH),, jolteon from pokemon. . im weird and fuckd up . much prefer if u dont rlly seperate me from me in sources. cuz i just am me. sorry. ig. just refer to me as me . thank you

I am critical of all of my interests!!

or more just i hate them agh just be normal omfgggg crying sobbing

if you wanna avoid a common trigger its most likely tagged #tw [topic]. i also tag eyestrain and flashing lights but usually i just tag it as "#eyestrain" or "#flashing". tbh i unfortunately cant be trusted to remember to tag any other specific trigger because of bad memory. i wont tag reclaimed slurs but i will tag slurs used in a mean way

Please do not DM me unless you actually really need to. Send me an ask if you want to DM me and specify that you want it answered privately if you want. but i AM UNCOMFY WITH DMS. unless we're friends or i DMed you first. otherwise i place a curse on you I MUCH prefer asks over DMs

Sideblog list

@omori-addict

@oops-all-traumacore (TW TRAUMACORE)

@sunnymogai (inactive)

@hellhoundmutt (inactive)

@sunnymogai2 (inactive)

@qiekz (EYESTRAIN + FLASHING TW please block if you are affected by that please)

@qiekzart

@tsukasabrainrot

alter blog 4 tasma:

@tazmahell

@tazmaboxed

DNI:

Anti plural, pluralphobe, anti endo, sysmed, against created alters/etc, "dont believe in systems",

Proship, condone or support posting any sexual stuff that includes a child, lolicon/shotacon/etc, someone purposely meant to look like a child, cub.

LGBTQphobic, transmed, transphobe/homophobe/biphobe/panphobe/etc, 'super straight'/variants, anti-ace inclusion, anti-aro inclusion, anti a-spec inclusion, aphobes, anti mspec lesbian/gay/etc, stelliophobic, anti lesboy/turigirl/etc, anti any good faith queer identity, anti neopronouns, anti xenogender, anti mogai.

Ableist, support autism speaks, think "narc abuse" is a thing/demonise people with any disorder including NPD, infantalise people with disorders/disabilities/etc, post/support on subreddits like r/fakedisordercringe or r/systemscringe, use the term "Aspergers" / describe urself as an "aspie" (Hans Asperger was a nazi who killed many disabled people, so shut the fuck up.)

Racist, cultural appropriators.

Radqueers, trans-id/transX, transrace/trace (not adoptee term), support the term transplural, pro-contact/contact-complex/contact-neutral for harmful paraphillia, sway people away from getting help for harmful paraphillia, MAP/Pedo/zoo/necro. (also transspecies is ok if its not used in a transX way)

Fujoshi/variants. fetishize mlm/wlw, etc.

Against traumacore / vent art.

Have minors on ur DNI (no offense im just a minor lol), NSFW-Focused blog

Post stolen art (includes AI images) / trace art without consent

other stuff is im neutral on factkin or kff tbh. and i think id rather stay neutral on tulpas as a term. i just dont fucking care. i dont involve myself in syscourse anymore, i might post more endogenic positivity later but id rather not due to the rampant harassment and infighting in the system community.

#pinned post

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hellonerf · 9 days

Note

5 + 22 for ame!!!! :3

5 : first song in mind : depending on my mood really and how honed in i am the general themes i associate him with (how personal/human focused im imagining his issues to be in that moment) 🤤 but im gna be cringe and free rn and just say kirai kirai jiga hidai by kuragep is like easily fitting to me most of the time

22 : thing i like in fics with him vs thing i dont like : for something i like, i like when its an outside pov to him and hes like fucking weird in that specific way that really hits my marks 🤤🤤🤤 honestly its hard to explain for me... im pretty open to how his personality can be but 🤤 i like when he's not well adjusted but kind of persistently indestructible in how he behaves? like immovable object/unstoppable force lol...

as for something i don't like, thinking hard on this 🤔 i think. (trying not to come off as annoyingly prissy about his characterization...) ok putting it under in case i do just start to ramble

i don't like when people play into his hero thing with it being seen as a sincerely good honest untroubled thing like i read fics of other characters doing shit and hes something of a cop there and i start passing out really hard. i don't know i think he's generally disinterested in other people most of the time it's hard to put that with a Sincere hero talk without him just seeming like a hypocrite. obviously you could just make him not disinterested in people in ur fic for that but in my preference i'd just sacrifice his sincerity 🤤 also u make him a "cop hero" and i really just pass out so hard. getting up and leaving. sorry i can't do this shit...

well, i obviously like an ame thats ill in some ways, but i don't like when he feels too fragile personally(emphasis on personally)... this feels obvious with what i put for something i like lol. but i mean i like when something does totally destroy him but i need it to make sense in my head 🤤 though i don't mind it too hard since people do whatever mental stuff in their fics it just doesn't do it for me Personally...

this is just a lame and gay one but when he is too smooth suave whatever flirt 🙁 just total personal thing because i hate male characters who are not only handsome but like smooth and loveinterest-like and AME is my FAVORITE so he CAN'T be a CHARACTER TYPE i HATE!!!! (loud banging head on wall)

now i might make it seem like i would dislike a puppylike good honest ame. thats not true i like him like that too sometimes (when i wanna go aw... aw... aw.....)(then i start wanting to trap him in a cage) but i also want his flaws to be pulled to the front sometimes and maybe he can be forced to confront with his honest to god insufferableness or maybe other people have to. it relly depends 🤤 i like all kinds of ame it rly matters on execution i spose...

oh also i don't like when they overdo the deception thing i definitely talked about this before lol but when its master manipulator shit like 😕(BORED AS FUCK) idk. i just don't believe it. other people aren't that dumb. everypony knows you bucking lied. and if he's lying about something i'd like it if it's copium to himself too like im not a bad guy its just like this..!!! this is how it is!!! if ur gonna make him fucked up i'd like it if it's in a miserable world and no human has been or is sane bcz its miserable out here and everyone knows he lies nobody does anything about it cz argh whaetver... people have their own business all the time... i like lived in worlds and whenever everyone is caricatures while one guy is ReallySmart and pulling the strings it just doesn't feel grounded and i fall asleep

#ask game #ask #this one ended up long thanks ame.

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daisychains111 · 27 days

Text

live "tweet" books with me (via the goodreads progress bar) pt.2: Lore by Alexandra Bracken

idk who the narrator of the first part was, but I'm very confused...if he's not a god anymore is her love interest...or maybe her dad?

who is gil...how did he die?

her grandfather? wasn't gonna guess that

potential love interest spotted..hey masked dude

oooooo does she know him? intrigue

SEVEN YEARS HOLD SHIT THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD

potential love interest #2...van hello

I cannot stress enough how happy I am that her name isn't actually lore

wait nvm it is actually her name...that's stupid

Annabeth come get you mom, this is embarrassing

Percy come get your namesake ancestor...this is embarrassing

they are saying a lot of words that mean absolutely nothing to me?

happy to report that her name isn't actually lore...thank God...gods? whatever

"the Olympics but with murder" Nothing better happen to Miles bc I love him already

HAH poseidon and perseus reference

(I'm gonna spend this whole book talking about pjo just fyi)"

I get this feeling that apollo let Castor kill him

nooooo not the doggg

castor out here with the Olympians shittiest moments highlight reel to remind athena that he's cooler than her

oooo are miles and van gonna be a thing..that would be cute

athena deciding to keep miles around like he's a puppy is peak comedy

just because you're pointing out that the names are getting stupider doesn't mean you don't lose a point for continuing to name your characters stupid things

van and miles going on a secret special side quest together? mmmmhhmmm checks out

don't get me wrong I love a good enemy's to lovers but istg destiny if she gets with the guy who killed her family I will never forgive you

EW CREEPY PEDO GUY GET BACK CREEP

I am directly halfway done with this book, and there has yet to be one single ounce of romantic subplot...This is extremely disappointing"

WAIT IS GIL HERMES!!!

IS AEGIS THE NECKLACE

MILES HAS IT

I asked for romantic subplot but idk if this is what I wanted...however I'm a suckered for childhood best friends to lovers so we'll see"

"do that again when you mean it golden" period you tell her castor (I 1000% agree)

also him calling her golden is cute...even if I'm not sure why he does it"

hehe miles and van bonding time.. thats a romantic subplot I can get behind"

"oh so you're in love with him" YOU TELL HIM MILES

throwing away the necklace as if it's not extremely likely it's the thing you need...aces move lore, stop pouting and think

istg if you kill castor rn I'll never forgive you

IRO YOU MOTHERFUCKER IF YOU REALLY KILLED THAT BOY

HES ALIVVVEEE

ATHENA YOU MOTHERFUCKER...I should've know better than to fucking trust you

MELORA I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST DO THAT

SHE WASNT EVEN LINKED ATHENA WHEN I FIND YOU

it doesn't make sense that she's had aegis the whole time and wasn't even thinking about it enough to hide it from readers...im sorry thats just lame"

this book lacks interesting romantic subplot but " I was born knowing how to do three things: how to breathe how to dream and how to love you" is the smoothest shit ever"

him calling her golden? cute...her calling him big guy? really fucking weird

istg don't pin with a couple separated by mortality, I can't handle that rn

HEHE lore calling van out for staring longingly at miles

lore and miles bestie vibes only

I get the sickening feeling castor will not be making it out of this book alive

holy shit she killed athena"

holy shot did athena just redeem herself

apollo let castor kill him CALLED IT

YAY FOR STAYING MORTAL AND STAYING WITH OUR FRIENDS!!!

This book wasn't bad but after the literally masterpiece that is the darkest minds series I expected more from miss bracken...the only reason I was able to read this as fast as I did was bc I had to finish it to read iron flame LOL

#lore #alexandra bracken #athena #melora perseus

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mangoposts · 4 months

Note

OKAY im finally alone so TW for anyone reading this, i will be mentioning rape & knives/scars.

i'll try to make this short but the summer before i went into 10th grade, i had hung out w this guy and i really did just wanna hang out and go for a drive, but he thought i wanted to hook up. i definitely did not because i was a virgin and never done anything with a guy at all. he was a senior and a lot bigger than me and forced me into having sex w him, i kept saying no and stop and take me home but he just kept getting angrier and eventually held a knife to my like pubic bone? pelvis? just down there idk. so i caved. i hated every second and cried but i stopped fighting. i haven't had sex since then, im 20 years old now and i haven't even been fingered by a guy, never given or received head, and never given a handjob. and im honestly really embarrassed about it and wanna have sex with someone SO BADLY but im scared.

the main reason i'm scared isn't because i'm scared i'll be forced into it again, although that is absolutely in the back of my mind. i'm completely fine now and over the situation, but it does worry me that i could get overwhelmed and the guy im with wouldn't wanna stop. but my bigger fear which im 100x more embarrassed of, is what a guy is gonna think when he sees my pussy. now hear me out bc i know that sounds weird😭 but all throughout high school i always heard guys make comments about how ugly this girls pussy is or how gross this girls is and it terrified me. but now i'm even more scared because of what that guy did to me, he literally cut into my skin and left scars. what is a guy gonna think when he sees that? how am i supposed to explain all this? i just i have a lot of questions and concerns but i'm a fucking 20 year old "virgin" if i can even call myself that, i've technically had sex but i didn't want it so idk if i even count that as a body. i just have been panicking over this for forever and have no idea what to do, if you have any advice at all i'd really appreciate it so so much

- 🌙

Oh baby :-(. Im so sorry this happened to you. You were really young and you didn’t deserve that whatsoever, if you can feel it im giving you a hug thru the phone. Im so so so sorry and i hope that man is dead in a ditch somewhere 🤍

On the other hand, i promise you you have nothing to worry about at all. Im telling you rn and i know it sounds so corny and lame and everybody always says this but its true, the right person is not going to judge you for anything and im so Fr when i say that. Trust when i was in high school guys would say all kinda stupid shit like that about girls in the school and it never bothered me because i knew there was at least one person out there who wouldn’t care about anything other people would talk shit about, and i was right 🤷🏻‍♀️ There’s so many people out there who would find u beautiful the way u are and just because some guys in the past thought in that immature goofy ass way doesn’t mean every guy will you know what i mean?

Babe, my only advice for you is to stay the way you are, hang out w ur frennies and the right person is gon come trust. It’ll come when you aren’t looking for it or worrying about it, when you least expect it to be honest. What you went through was horrible and it might be the worlds way of saying you gotta give yourself time before exploring that area of your life yanno. There’s NOTHINGGG wrong with being a virgin at any age let alone 20. You’re still young and you have ur whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about this, when it happens it’s gonna be fine you’ll see it

Thank you so much for trusting me to be vulnerable with, im sorry if im treating you too delicately im just speaking thru the soul rn 😭 And again im sorry this happened to you. Even if i dont know u i love u a lot and im proud of you for moving past the situation despite how hard it might’ve been

Also im sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, i just scrolled through my inbox and finally found this

#🤍

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 5 months

Note

yo..if you're the professor....can i be your struggling student 🤨🤨 can we schedule an after class tutoring session....🤨🤨

I HOPE I'M DOING AN ALRIGHT JOB AT MAKING YOU FEEL BETTER??? and thank YOU for talking to me ilysm

I SLEPT ALRIGHT BUT I WOKE UP BECAUSE MY DUMBASS CAT DECIDED THAT MY CHEST WAS A GREAT PLACE TO MAKE BISCUITS ON (???)

okay woozi liking ari, bruno, and justin is VERY k-idol of him... but nasty is a diff level. bro is actually secretly v horny and you cant convince me otherwise.... you're doing detective level work brie thank you for bringing me this info 😂 truly an imaginer...

NOOO A FOREST VENUE ISN'T LAME WTF THAT'S SO MAGICAL UR RIGHT!!!! okay but wouldn't a wedding in the snow be SO cold LMAOOOO the bridesmaids would need parkas or something smh

I'M GLAD I INTRODUCED YOU TO A MEME THAT MADE YOU LAUGH PLS LAUGH MORE, YOU DESERVE IT

and I'VE HEARD OF GG I'VE JUST NEVER READ IT... from where i am it's pretty popular...

OH MY GOD ZACHARY GOODE SOUNDS SO COOL AND PERFECT WTF....WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?? LIKE HOW DID THE AUTHORS DESCRIBE HIM

why does netflix always take the best shows off bro....i haven't finished bloodhounds yet and istg if they take it off before i finish i'm actually going to riot... BUT THANK YOU!! I WILL WATCH DOCTOR WHO AND SUPERNATURAL WHEN I GET MY SCHOOLWORK DONE LMAOOOO

wait...will supernatural ever do a con wherever you are?? like if it's a show based in the US then surely they would do something there.. (im assuming ur from the US but if you're not then sorry..)

THANK YOU FOR REINFORCING MY IDEA HJGHWJKGHK I WAS SO NERVOUS SENDING THAT ASK I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN SHAKINH😭😭

no but he just responded....HE IS ANNOYING THANK YOU. WHY CAN'T I APPRECIATE MY GUY FRIEND IN PEACE. like when he responds he always gives me like a slightly flirty/playful answer but it's either REALLY later (like 6+ hours) or like right away. no inbetween. the most he's waited before texting me is 1 day, but if we count the days where he left me on read, then like 3. like wtf. AND THANK YOU FOR LISTENING LGOIWJGWOIGJ I WILL DEFINITELY UPDATE YOU IF ANYTHING HAPPENS <33 im scared that people get annoyed when i talk about it SO PLS TELL ME IF IT'S TOO MUCH

also that's one hell of a story....how are you dealing with this so well??? i would've just quit and moved to another city LMAOOO

ben being a capricorn is so funny because every capricorn i've met has been like him...okay but wtf. he cheated on his (ex)gf with a FRESHLY 18 YR OLD??? see, usually you have to see how people you're friends with act around other people, but how tf is he gonna act all dandy with you (and other friends) but then do that to his gf??? he's fishy man...be careful

are blake and nam an item or are they just friends?? and how weird is WEIRD for a group of friends...as in like- you guys are all an odd pairing or are you guys just silly billys 😋😋

and wtf?? leaving emilee after she planned the hangout?? that is really shitty..

i'm sorry that you're feeling depressed man :(( i can't do much more than just be rlly supportive but just know that heart palpitations anon believes in you!! you're not annoying for being excited (which is completely human), so don't forget that!!!

i'm responding as i read rn but like....rachel and sophia do seem like....a little bit of a problem... SORRY IF THIS IS COMPLETELY UNSOLICITED AND OUT OF LEFT FIELD BUT LIKE....THEY'RE DOING ALL THAT FOR WHAT. sounds like a power trip to ME

maybe people aren't mad at you??? no offense girlie, but it sounds like they all have their own problems that they're dealing with by taking their frustrations out on you and the people around you..and can you leave your psychiatrist?? i mean if it's not working for you, surely there can be ways around it right? my friend has SUPER bad anxiety, and they got rebellious and stopped taking their high dosage meds and they literally said that was the first time in ~4 years that they truly felt alive, so maybe it'll help you??

you are NOT a narcissist girlie...this is exactly the type of stuff you would discuss with a therapist, and since you can't find one, you talk to your friends abt it!! it's totally normal, especially when you're in THIS many stressful situations!! you're SO normal and honestly, if i were you, i'd cry a lot too, so you're actually doing great brie. like genuinely, you're so strong

hey,, if you're gonna reject someone, make sure you guys aren't ever alone together in case they get violent :( stay safe!!

IT'S NOT FAIR THAT THEY'RE MAD AT YOU??? if they get jealous or weirded out because you're having a good time with a 'weird' group of friends, then it's not your problem atp...but if all of them are kiiiinda shitty people, then i could see why they think its weird. if they're nice people, then it's rachel and sophia's problem!!

I'M ALWAYS OPEN TO HEARING U TALK ABOUT ANYTHING STRESSFUL!!! pls go ahead and talk about yourself because it's obvious that no one else wants to listen to you :(

you didn't go overboard!! let it all out girlie i love people that explain everything because i am NOSY

remember, if you talk to someone who likes to get tired of people, don't chase them ;( i know it hurts a lot, especially if you literally love them, but if they truly valued you, they wouldn't just...up and leave, ykwim? its like manifesting stuff ig? if it's not meant for you, then it's not. if it is, then it is!! you gotta win the idgaf war brie 😤😤

-lots of support from 🫨 anon <3

Of course omg Office Hours once a week at 2:00am :)

YOU ARE ALWAYS THANK YOU ILYSM2

NOT TO BE ON YOUR CATS SIDE BUT I WOULD BE SO TICKLED IF MY CAT WOKE ME UP LIKE THAT THATS SO CUTE

OKAY I'M SO GLAD YOU GET IT PEOPLE LOOK AT ME LIKE IM DUMB WHEN I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO THEM LIKE I ANALYZE HIS PLAYLISTS I'M OBSESSED. THANK YOU FOR VALIDATING AND UNDERSTANDING MY OBSESSION

OKAY IT WOULD BE COLD BUT ALSO MAGICAL HAHA YOU ARE RIGHT THOUGH HAHA I HADN'T ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT

YOU DESERVE IT I HOPE I MAKE YOU LAUGH TOO YOUVE HEARD OF IT???? ITS POPULAR WHERE YOU COME FROM THAT'S CRAZY WHAT THE FUCK UHM DARK BROWN HAIR AND GREEN EYES IF I REMEMBER ACCURATELY!!

NO LITERALLY bout to be really mad at netflix I think they just removed my favorite cdrama too

SUPERNATURAL USED TO DO CONS IN THE US YEAH BUT SINCE IT ENDED THEY HAVEN'T BEEN DOING THEM AS MUCH and I was in highschool at the crux of them doing cons and so I never got to go cause who was gonna take me you know.

IM SORRY YOU WERE NERVOUS HAHA DONT BE NERVOUS SENDING ASKS

BOOOOOO YOU SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO APPRECIATE YOUR GUY FRIEND AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK he should respond more often... THREE DAYS ON READ IS TOO MUCH. I WILL TELL YOU IF I GET ANNOYED BUT ALSO I WONT GET ANNOYED

please don't say that i want to quit and move to another city SO BADLY it's my first INSTINCT IM SO SERIOUS I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS

ALSO OH MY GOD I FORGOT I TOLD YOU EVERY SINGLE DETAIL

HE IS FISHY THOUGH I AGREE.... DONT WORRY THOUGH I am always cautious with him

THEYRE JUST FRIENDS HAHA AND THEYRE BOTH RLLY STRAIGHT AND BLAKE IS IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE HOW

and we are all an odd pairing! like no one at work would be like yeah those people should and do hang out cause why would we

RIGHT IT WAS SO SHITTY

thank youuuu

I THINK IM THE PROBLEM they are very intune with their emotions and healthy and adult and I'm still silly brie who cries over fanfictions, makes friends with toxic people, and makes mean jokes

I WOULD LEAVE HIM BUT I LIKE HIM EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE HIM I actually go crazy without my medicine. the last time I wasn't on meds for my mania I didn't sleep for like three days straight, I ALSO can't sleep without my sleep meds, and I went without my anxiety meds for two weeks and was basically unable to do anything it was BAD BUT ONCE I GET OUT OF SCHOOL AND MOVE ILL BE SO MUCH LESS STRESSED SO

i am a litttllleee bit of a narcissist BUT THANK YOU

and i didn't reject him. I still need to. I am leading him on AHHHH

THANK YOU FOR READING ALL OF THAT CAUSE OH MY GOD WHY DID I GENUINELY DROP EVERY DETAIL (I was not on my anxiety meds) you're rightttt though you're righttttt I WILL DO MY BEST TO WIN THE IDGAF WAR THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT

#YOURE SO NICE OH MY GOD THANK YOU HAHA #IM SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONG #I MISSED YOU TF

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girltober · 6 months

Text

Girlfit! Gamer socks/armthings and a sundress might not go well together on paper, but I like this fit a lot 🩷 girls just have so many more customisation options to pick from. And you know what they say, you gotta Get Railed in a Sundress 😜

---

So! Girl Month is two thirds over... whats the state of affairs?

Its been a little while since I last posted anything substantive bc well... girltime has been normalised. In the first week I was very strict about wearing only "proper" girly clothes, not even using my normal dressing gown! But as time passed I've allowed myself to wear more unisex clothing - for better or worse. In general Girl month has become less... exciting and wild and more a mundane part of life. I go out in girlmode and don't think twice about it.

I've been on E nearly 2 weeks now with no effect, which I guess I expected but its a little disappointing. My nips don't feel any more sensitive than usual which is lame.

Sidequest 2 and 3 have not been completed, but I'm planning to complete 3 tomorrow which I'm looking forward to (shes soo hot). And I forsee myself completing 2 also bc like... cmon, how hard can it be?

Girl month has also been a little bit of a slut month for me- which has honestly been kind of the best part lmao. I mean my bodycount is still 1, but I've really enjoyed wearing revealing clothes, going out with my girltreat in, and thinking a lot about being a... well a free use fucktoy 😳.

Maybe I'll make another post trying to delve into the psychology of it, but I guess long story short... horny guys are gross, but horny girls are hot. That might only be true in my own lesbian*(?) head but I feel like its not just me who feels that way. Idk theres a lot to unpack there. Being a girl made me feel more confident being a pervert is what I'm saying, for better or worse.

(*For this month(?))

But to the main event: gender.

I started this month with the view that i was doing this for shits and giggles and nipple-orgasms.

I was planning to walk out of this having unlocked Cis+, as a BoyChad like Finnster who can walk through the Valley of Girl and not flinch at the feminine shadows cast over me.

But...

Rrrrrgh.

*deep sigh*

I guess... I'm probably not cis.

Yeah yeah I know the guy who volunteered to dress as a girl for a month for no reason is actually trans big surprise, someone call the pope, who could have seen this coming yada yada.

I will say that I'm not sure that I'm a girl either though.

I enjoy dressing up femme, and I get a little hit of dopamine whenever someone calls me Charlotte or uses she/her pronouns, but...

(Wait typing that sentence in real time just made me realise that i might just be a girl after all uuuh nvm continuing with my original point)

...I don't necessarily... feel like a girl? Like I mostly forget I'm a girl and then occasionally I think "oh yeah I'm supposed to be a girl rn. Or maybe... I just AM a girl for this month? Oh nice I'm a girl I guess sweet" and then carry on with my usual activities.

Although even that sounds pretty trans hmm.

(Good thing I successfully turned off Pop-ups or this post would be unreadable with the amount of Transgender XP I've gained lmao)

Does anyone remember that one comic? Its like the car driving "PENIS" face one except the thought is "im a girl". This is nonsense to non-tumblrinas I'm so sorry, if anyone finds the comic I'm thinking of please send it to me.

Anyway, i may not be a trans girl, maybe I'm nonbinary or maybe genderfluid or bigender or something else... but M** left Plato's cave when he became me/Charlotte, and I/she can't imagine going back in there and forgetting. Wearing a dress is just too much fun to quit lmao.

I definitely think i just don't have a very strong sense of gender in general- I've boymoded for family events and doctors appointments and felt no discomfort or dysphoria- but being a girl recreationally is just more fun!

I might do Boyweek in early november to try to solidify my gender opinions, but for now... my gender is almost certainly queer and i can't wait to find out what I become ^^.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, thank you all my friends for being chill about this and thank you M & L for supplying me with E and thank you Y for being the madlad who took E for lols in the first place and MASSIVE thank you to the one who took me opshopping and opened my mind to polyamory and made this whole experience... just so much more comfortable and fun.

Oh and thanks to the random internet people who followed along too- Its been really cool to see this break containment in little ways!

Uuuh anyway this might feel like a very final retrospective post but I still have a couple of girlweeks left in girlmonth so I'll keep y'all posted with my future girlfits and antics!

Love y'all! ❤️🩷💜

#girl month #girltober #transgender #genderqueer #girl #gender #girlblogging #girl month nsft #girl drugs #hey guys did you know that in terms of male human and female pok-*sniper takes me out*#girl fit #i censored my boyname not bc I have strong feelings against it but just for internet privacy reasons lmao #yes i picked the vaporeon gif for that reason lmao

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thegeminisage · 10 months

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its DUNGEON TIME!!! finally. i didnt do this yesterday bc i was wiped and i didnt wanna teleport away with poor riju...i have no idea if she'll leave or get stuck there or what

this one looks really complicated...but i'm gonna see how far i can get w/o a guide

omg when you go up on your glider riju is like...i'll leave that area to you link! she can't fly 😭

i see mirrors up here but no light source.......MAN the nostalgia im having rn. this is so much like oot

FOUND IT....

omg wait this construct fused a mirror to its shield...mirror shield...WAHHH

oh that took me STUPIDLY long to figure out but i love that i didn't have to look it up (stopping the wheel with the stake)

apparently i can ascend into the final floor but i really don't wanna do that by myself lol

omg lol there was a hive in this room that also had constructs...they fought each other!! i kept waiting for the read to like Jump the construct but it just swung at it. do they truly not do that in this game.........

oops i accidentally warped outside of the temple with ascension...i gotta be more careful lol. quick warp back but the enemies respawned, no blood moon needed

also the puzzle reset itself :/

got the last one! i only wound up looking at a guide for one, but i accidentally read how to do another first, and then the one i was looking for i also discovered how to do while i was doing that one. so all in all a success

eugh i'm scaaared i dont wanna fight a giant BUG!!!

for once im low on food too. im gonna get my ass beat lol

NOOOOO the first half was fine but now shes SUMMONING REDEADS.....................

im not gonna get jumped im not gonna get jumped im NOT gonna get jumped!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO SCARY FUCK FUCK FUCK I KEEP SHOOTING THEM FROM ONLY INCHES AWAY THEY ARE SO FAST

IM NOT!!! GONNA GET JUMPED!!!!!!!!!

BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T GET ME IN THE LIGHT

elated. wow. that was so close. im never leaving this little column of light again

rip i have to. but. don't wanna.

GOT all the hives without getting jumped

GOT HER ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you CANNOT fuck me i am UNFUCKABLE im not getting jumped today tomorrow next year FUCK off

sorry to riju but her ancestor is HOT. ok im taking this seriously

wait. i just realized these expository cutscenes use the sacred realm melody from oot for just a few notes. AAAAAAAAAAAAA that makes me INSAAAAAANE

"he was our chief before he became obsessed with power and changed" HAUGH........good guy ganondorf....................im making him real in my mind palace

wait sorry hold on. im pausing this cutscene again. i was spoiled that the fifth sage was a construct. which i thot was lame cuz it shoulda been a sheikah. but im looking at this image of them - four sages with helmets, one each for rito zora goron and gerudo - then a hylian, zelda - and then a ZONAI, mineru......that makes six! just like oot! and rauru as the leader/seventh sage, like zelda in oot...two hylians in oot and two zonai in totk...THERE ARE SEVEN OF THEM. what if MINERU gets put inside the construct!!! because didn't zelda put her soul in that purah pad or whatever!!!!!! oh my god.........if this turns out to be the case i think i've earned that bingo square. it wouldn't be true to the letter but true in spirit. i've earned that!!!

damn...they way both this ancestor and urbosa feel it's Personal w ganondorf bc he is also gerudo...he's literally staining their good name...

WAAHHHH riju going "my responsibilities as a leader, as a sage, AND fighting alongside you............sounds like fun >:)" she is TOO YOUNG...so much responsibility...wah

omg you can just walk around here now? without crossdressing? did they chicken out of a crossdressing plot in this game...............smh nintendo. i know it wasn't perfectly executed in the first game but they could have just tried again

FINALLY here is mattison...idk why i couldn't find her before the shroud lifted!!!

ok, i gotta take a break and do Chores, i'll figure out what i'm doing next later!!!

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers

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